#I know an oriented aromantic when I see one

[bloompawz]

Reworking the A/Grey/Allo/Orchid Attraction System

As it stands currently, the a-spectrum encompasses any identity involving little or no attraction. This includes all grey orientations by default. The allo spectrum is treated as less of a spectrum, but more of a term for people who aren’t a-spec or grey. I think that this ultimately ends up being confusing, and could use some reworking.

(Some people might be getting a little anxious about where I'm going with this, especially if you're greysexual/demisexual/etc, so I want to make it clear right away: This rework is not designed to invalidate or exclude you.)

I keep seeing the a-spec get stretched to encompass more and more experiences, such as meneromantic: a term for people who experience romantic attraction easily, but prefer not to act on it unless they think their crush will reciprocate… Which just describes how most alloromantic people approach their attraction.

This was described as an “aro-spec” orientation, and as an aromantic person, I feel like that misses the point of the spectrum completely. I admit, it is a pretty niche term, and isn’t the end of the world, but it’s a symptom of a larger problem.

It’s becoming clear, at least to me, that people are unsure how to draw the line between a-spec and allo, due to the subjectivity of what “little attraction” even is, to the point of both terms becoming less meaningful over time. I don’t even know where I’m supposed to fit among those terms myself, at least when it comes to sexual attraction. I’ve actually opted not to label my sexuality largely for that reason; it’s why I’m a neu aro.

So I wanted to take a shot at proposing a change. Not for the sake of excluding or assimilating, but for the sake of making attraction/orientations more easy to navigate and explore, especially for people who are questioning. I made an effort to make this rework as inclusive as possible, while also being much more clearly understood. If you experience attraction and identify as a-spec, don’t worry! The rework still includes you; it just includes you in terms which are easier to define.

A-spec

The a-spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity which is defined by zero attraction, as well as experiences adjacent to that. In other words, if a person experiences absolutely no sexual attraction, no romantic attraction, and/or no tertiary attraction, they are a-spec. This includes:

Asexual: Experiencing zero sexual attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Aromantic: Experiencing zero romantic attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Aplatonic: Experiencing zero platonic attraction, or having an adjacent experience to this.

Cupio: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, but desiring a relationship commonly associated with that attraction anyway. For example, desiring a sexual relationship as an asexual person.

Apothi: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, and feeling repulsed by relationships and/or activities associated with that attraction. For example, being asexual and sex-repulsed.

Icula: Experiencing zero (sexual/romantic/platonic/etc.) attraction, but being open to relationships/activities commonly associated with that attraction anyway. For example, being asexual and open to sex.

Etc.

“Experiences adjacent to that” refers to anyone who doesn’t necessarily experience zero attraction, but still:

Feels strongly represented by a-spec identities/experiences.

Strongly relates to a-spec identities/experiences.

Needs access to a-spec resources, communities, and support.

Finds it easy, useful, and/or helpful to identify as a-spec, especially as opposed to not identifying as a-spec.

Finds one’s attraction to be irrelevant to one’s life, either because it’s so vague or infrequent that it has no impact, because one has negative interest in acting on it, or because one’s attraction otherwise has no relevance.

Note that “experiencing little attraction” is not a qualifier on its own, because what’s “little” is entirely subjective, and can be incredibly difficult to define. Note that you do not have to check each bullet point in the list above to be a-spec; just one is enough.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be a-spec, but these identities are not a-spec by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

Grey-spec

The grey spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity which doesn’t fit neatly into an a-or-allo binary. This includes:

People who aren’t sure whether they’re a-spec or allo-spec.

People who resonate with both a-spec and allo-spec identities/experiences.

People who resonate with neither a-spec nor allo-spec identities/experiences.

People whose identities are in constant flux, and thus difficult or impossible to pinpoint as a-spec or allo-spec.

People who fit into the a-spec category, but feel like the a-spec category is still insufficient in some way.

People who fit into the allo-spec category, but feel like the allo-spec category is still insufficient in some way.

People who feel like they fit somewhere between “experiencing attraction” and “not experiencing attraction” in some way.

Anyone else who can’t or won’t fit themselves into an a-or-allo binary.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be a-spec and/or allo-spec, but these identities are not either by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

I think this is a much needed change, not just because this is easier to define than figuring out what “little attraction” means, but because grey-specs don’t always want to be pigeonholed into being a-spec by default. It is a grey area, after all.

Allo-spec

The allo spectrum, under the rework, includes any identity in which one experiences attraction, no matter how much or how little. This includes:

People who experience little attraction.

People who experience a moderate amount of attraction.

People who experience a lot of attraction.

I’ve decided to include all experiences of present attraction in this spectrum because it can be extremely hard (or impossible) to quantify how much attraction you experience in comparison to other people. If you experience attraction, it isn’t necessarily going to be clear whether you experience a lot or a little or something between. Including all present attraction under the allo-spec, no matter the amount, makes it much easier to define where you fall within these spectra.

Greysexuality, greyromanticism, etc. can be allo-spec, but these identities are not allo-spec by default. It depends on the individual, their own experiences, and how they define/feel about their own identity.

Orchid-spec

This is an additional spectrum for people who experience attraction, but do not want to act on that attraction. For example, an orchidsexual person experiences sexual attraction, but does not want to have sex under any circumstances.

I didn’t come up with this spectrum, but I’ve decided to include it here, because a person may feel that orchid-spec is the only spectrum that feels relevant to their experience, with a/grey/allo being completely irrelevant or inapplicable. Though, a person may resonate with orchid-spec in addition to other spectra, which is also valid!

Overlapping spectra

All spectra within this proposed system can overlap in some instances.

For example, if a person experiences attraction, but feels strongly represented by a-spec identities, they could be a combination of a-spec, grey-spec, and allo-spec. They might identify with one spectrum more than the others, but they would be included in all three.

As another example, a person may fall under all four spectra, because:

Their attraction is irrelevant to them, so they identify as a-spec.

They relate to both a-spec and allo-spec, so they identify as grey-spec.

They experience attraction, so they identify as allo-spec.

They don’t want to act on their attraction, so they identify as orchid-spec.

A person might also identify as both grey-spec and a-spec, but not allo-spec, because they don’t know whether they experience attraction or not, but they relate to a-spec identities and experiences.

Another person might fall under both allo-spec and grey-spec, but not a-spec, because they experience attraction, but feel that the allo-spec is insufficient to describe their identity, while also not resonating with the a-spec at all.

These are just a few examples of how spectra could possibly overlap. There are other ways that these spectra could be combined which have not been listed here.

And of course, it's up to you how you identify! I just wanted to propose a system which (hopefully) makes attraction easier to understand and navigate.

#aspec #greyspec #grey spec #allospec #allo spec #orchidspec #orchid spec #asexual #ace #acespec #ace spec #aromantic #aro #arospec #aro spec #aplatonic #apl #aplspec #apl spec #greysexual #greyromantic #demisexual #demiromantic #allosexual #alloromantic #orchidsexual #orchidromantic #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia

[gingersaurus]

Anzu and Saki are Aro/Ace Solidarity

#You can pry this head cannon from my cold bare hands #I know an oriented aromantic when I see one #And an oriented ace who is cursed with being born beautiful? I've met them before #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #romantic killer #anzu hoshino #saki takamine #aromantic representation #lgbtqia

[radio-and-the-dirt]

dude i don't really care if people ship aroace characters just please acknowledge that they're aro and/or ace. like,, aro and ace people still can and do enter into relationships of various types at times and not every aro or ace person completely lacks attraction anyway and some date even if they do, so like, ship them if thats what you want but please just be respectful.

just acknowledge that the character is aro and/or ace. do some research about what that might mean for them if you need to. treat those characters in a way that respects their identities and doesn't completely brush them aside.

im just tired. we can be in relationships. we can not be in relationships. we are still aros and aces. dont try and erase what little representation we get.

i would like to note that i see things in this way because i have never seen a 'professional' writer (like non-fanfic or not a small online creator) specify where an aro/ace character sits on those spectrums or how they actually view relationships of any type. i've also never seen any 'professional' writer's characters get to explore or express that part of themselves enough in their stories to give much better an understanding than just "not really interested in sex or romance".

if a more specific understanding of a character was provided and it meant that that character wouldn't be involved in romantic and/or sexual relationships or was repulsed by them than yeah, I wouldn't want people shipping them at all but i dont think i've ever seen that so thats not what this is about.

#this is mostly about one character because theyre on my mind atm but i've absolutely seen it happen to others #its just really disheartening to have confirmed representation and then see so much of a fandom ignore that because they want to ship thing #i love this character as rep as well. i think they capture certain things for me really well #i almost never come across it but pairings of characters whether romantic or something else are really fun when written from an aroace lens #but thats not what i see happening with what i'm thinking about #its just infuriating to see so much of the fandom accept certain details that were revealed in a certain way but then argue that this- #-character's orientation hasn't been confirmed anywhere when it was revealed in the exact same way #just say you don't care about respecting us at this point man #if you know what character im referencing here about then uhhhhh cool #i hope no one minds me tagging these next few #aromantic #asexual #arospec #acespec #aroace #might remove those in a bit idk i get quite nervous being perceived sometimes

[aroandawkward]

It feels kind of magical to happen across other aspecs in the wild. Once I heard a friend of a friend talk about aesthetic attraction so I tentatively asked if she was aspec and her face lit up with a "Yes!" Another time I was chatting with someone that I'd sat next to in the first lecture of a new course and (because they were talking about queer stuff) I mentioned that I was aroace and they exclaimed "No way - me too! I've never met another one!" and we were both so excited. Even just learning through the grapevine that an acquaintance (e.g. a family friend I played with when we were kids, and a girl I was in a writing group with six years ago) is ace and/or aro makes me feel so warm and happy. It reminds me I'm not alone. It reminds me that other aspecs don't just live on the internet. They are out there in the world, living their own full and rich lives.

#Aspec #aromantic #asexual #actually aromantic #actually asexual #Feeling kinda down today partly cos of aroace-related stuff so I'm trying to remember moments like this #This has happened to me a lot more since I started being more open about my orientation #because that openness creates more opportunities for these discoveries #But I think I'm also more able to revel in it than when I was less confident in being aroace #like I remember a few years ago seeing someone I knew irl posting on social media about being ace #and just feeling flat about it because I didn't feel connected to them #and I didn't feel like I'd ever be able to talk about that with them even if we were friends #But now I feel more solid in my orientation #I am more able to be like 'same hat!!' #Anyway I know I have been lucky to have these moments #but if you are someone who has never met another aspec person #chances are that you will one day #or maybe someone you already know just isn't out #or hasn't realised yet #There are enough of us that it is more than possible to meet other aspecs by pure coincidence #Awkward aroposting

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

how to figure out confusing attraction level 1

confusing attraction for beginners

confusing attraction tips and tricks

figuring out confusing attraction speedrun

confusing attraction ending explained

#why is attraction so confusing omfg 😭 #basically there’s this cool person i really like who seems to really like me but i can’t figure out how they like me #we’ve been hanging out more lately and today we got dinner together which was SUPER fun #we talked for like 2 hours and i found myself being like. really open with them #and this was all great but they kept saying things in a maybe-flirty way and i don’t know how to feel about it #like i genuinely really enjoyed it but idk if they like me romantically or not #and if so i wouldn’t be into that. but i’m weirdly super into the maybe-flirting??? #like at one point we were talking about humidity and they were like ‘i bet your hair doesn’t like it’ and i was like ‘nope!’ #and they were like ‘does it get all cute and curly? ;)’ and i was like ‘eh more like frizzy’ and they were like ‘hmm we’ll see ;)’ #in this like. maybe flirty tone? #and later when we were talking about hairstyles they told me how they want to play with my hair and put it in fun styles #and again it was… maybe flirty? and i was like… really really into it?? even though i hope they don’t like me romantically??? #and i’d be weirdly flattered if they did like me romantically but ultimately i hope they don’t???? #and yet i was genuinely very into the maybe-flirting and was actively trying to do it back?????????? #i often leave attraction unlabeled which is nice but it doesn’t make it any less confusing 😭 #my words #personal #aromantic #bc it fits into that tag somehow #oh yeah and we kept joking about living together one day aaaa idk how to feel #like i know i definitely don’t like them romantically. but other than that i am SO lost lol #edit wait can’t forget that we were surprisingly open with each other too like i told them stuff very few people know about me dkdjfkfj #to be fair we’ve known each other for almost a year now (we met at orientation last year) we’ve just been hanging out more recently #it’s so strange like we were being all vulnerable with each other in like a super casual way #and they’re so pretty and when we hung out in the lights booth the other day before a show i wondered what it would be like to kiss them #but i don’t know if i actually want to or not #and i really like when they talk to me in that maybe-flirty way but i hope it’s not romantic #aaaaaaaaaaa #i said *yes not nope to the humidity question i’ll fix it later

[antikosm]

Aro/Ace Terms Masterlist

Please let me know if I forgot anything

NOTE: There is a distinct difference between someone's personal orientation versus how they feel about sexuality/romanticism as a whole. Someone who's sex/romance repulsed may be in favour of open sexual/romantic expression or even vice versa (shoutout to @sowearecleariamhere for informing me of this!)

Types of attraction

Sexual - I wanna have sex with that

Romantic - I want to date that

Sensual - I want to hug that

Platonic - I want to be friends with that

Platonic crushes do exist. They are called “squishes”. You go through the same process of having a romantic or sexual crush but instead of landing them in bed, you’re on the floor at 2am with pizza rolls, Shrek in the background, talking about eldritch monstrosities (or whatever your shared interest is)

Aesthetic - that looks so heckin’ cool/pretty I love it

Intellectual - the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, i.e. having a conversation, picking their brain, and finding out how they think

Terms describing degree of attraction

Aromantic - lack of romantic attraction

Asexual - lack of sexual attraction

Aplatonic - lack of platonic attraction

Aroace - lack of both sexual and romantic attraction

Demi - attraction only forms once a strong emotional bond has been formed

Grey/gray - rarely/seldom experiences attraction

Allosexual - someone who experiences sexual attraction

I think I’ve also heard/seen it referred to as ‘arosexual’ but that’s honestly a bit confusing

Alloromantic - someone who experiences romantic attraction

I personally shorten both of those to “allo” (pronounced ‘aloe’)

Apothiosexual - sex-repulsed

Apothioromantic - romance-repulsed

Apothiaroace - often shortened to just ‘apothi’. In addition to being aroace, apothis are repulsed by romantic/sexual scenes, items, displays, etc. to varying degrees

Sex-neutral and sex-positive/favourable aces exist as well

Not all of us have the same level of comfort with sexual and romantic activities so please check. I mean that applies to everyone anyway, but please check and don’t assume that just because someone is aro/ace, that doesn’t mean they are sex/romance repulsed

Queerplatonic - Queerplatonic typically refers to a relationship that bends the lines between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship. A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) often goes beyond what is socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but does not fit the typical notion of a romantic relationship.

Alterous attraction - a type of emotional attraction to someone that isn’t entirely romantic or platonic.

Chastity - actively refraining from sexual activities. This is NOT part of the ace/aro spectrum, though it is a common assumption when someone says they are ace/aro. Thankfully we’re getting a bit more representation in media now so it’s not as common of an assumption as it used to be, but it’s still there, especially in those communities.

An absolute FANTASTIC addition by @heyftinally in case anyone doesn't see the repost

Gonna expand on sex favorable/neutral/repulsed, since this is a masterlist after all: - Sex favorable - regardless of your sexual orientation, you personally want to engage in sexual activity with someone (significant other, one night stand, friends with benefits, etc) - Sex neutral - if you're with someone who wants to engage in sexual activities then you may or may not, depending on a variety of factors, but you have no strong inclinations for or against engaging in sex itself as an activity. Basically it's "alright" Sex repulsed/averse - the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities makes you want to hurl/cry/claw your skin off/spontaneously combust. If someone suggested doing sexual activities together, you would probably vehemently say "No!" before they even finished the question. You would rather do anything else - Sex positive - refers to your attitudes about sex in general. Regardless of where you fall in the above three terms, you recognize that other people want to, and should have the freedom and right to, engage in consensual sexual activities, even if you personally don't like or want those activities. Essentially shorthand for "I respect the right of other adults to have gay sex, have gender-weird sex, have sex with multiple people in and out of monogamous relationships/marriages, and have weird, wild, freaky kinky sex, so long as all participants and consenting adults". You can still personally want zero sex for yourself or think a particular kink is weird/ick, but you can, in tumblr speak, be normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult stuff - Sex negative - conservative purity culture, basically. You think nobody should have sex ever, or at least not until marriage, and when they do it should only be the "right" or "good" kind, as arbitrarily decided by you/society/some collective. You think badly of, look down on, and may even treat badly anyone who doesn't have the "right" kind of sex in your opinion. You are not normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult activities (even though they don't involve you in any way)

A wonderful addition from @overlord-of-chaos Sex aversion is not the same thing as sex repulsed.

If you are sex adverse, you personally have no desire to partake in any of those actions but seeing or knowing other people partake in that doesn't bother you.

Sex repulsion is when you can't stand doing it yourself, seeing/hearing about/knowing that others partake in it, or even just the idea of it.

Microlabels/Terms describing flavour of attraction

Note: -sexual is used for many of these so we don't have to deal with duplicates confusing things. All of these prefixes can be used with -romantic, -sexual, -platonic, and I imagine -alterous as well

Abrosexual - orientation fluctuates between a variety of orientations

Aceflux - similar to abrosexual, but orientation is contained to asexual spectrum

Acespike - someone who is asexual but may experience intense, brief, and random bouts of sexual attraction

Aegosexual - disconnect between oneself and the target of arousal

Amicusromantic/sexual - only experiences romantic attraction to those who they have formed a platonic relationship with (subset of demi)

Angled aroace - the same as oriented, but for those who are demi, grey, flux, etc.

Anthrosexual - someone who is attracted to humans and alterhumans regardless of gender identity/expression

Bellussexual - has interest in the aesthetic/aspects/certain sexual actions, but does not experience sexual attraction or want a sexual relationship

Caedsexual - previously allo, but now ace due to past trauma

Cupiosexual - wanting a sexual relationship but not experiencing sexual attraction

Finsexual/gynesexual - attraction to femininity

Fraysexual - opposite of demi. Attraction dissipates once an emotional connection has been formed

Linsexual - attraction to androgyny

Lithosexual - experiencing sexual attraction but not wanting it to be reciprocated

Loveless Romantic/Lovelessromantic - those who cannot feel love or feel disconnected from love but can feel romantic attraction/don't feel disconnected from the concept of romance

Minsexual/androsexual - attraction to masculinity

Orchid - the opposite of cupio; experiences ____ attraction but has no desire for a relationship of that type

Placiosexual - not wanting to be on the receiving end of sexual activities but wishing to perform them on others

Quiosexual - unable to distinguish between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction

Qui(r)oromantic - inability to distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction

Reciprosexual - not experiencing sexual attraction towards someone until you discover they experience sexual attraction towards you

Requiessexual - similar to caedsexual, but rather than trauma, ace identity originates from a state of emotional exhaustion, usually from a past sexual experience

Oriented aroace -  an aromantic asexual (aroace) individual who experiences a form of tertiary attraction, that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation. (i.e. gay aroace, bi aroace)

Angled aroace - someone who is on the aroace spectrum (grey, demi, fray, etc) who experiences a type of attraction significant enough to stand alongside their aroace orientation

Examples of mixed orientations

Heteroromantic asexual biplatonic

Poly greyromantic pansexual

Apothi abroplatonic

Placiosexual aromantic finplatonic

Aroace cupioplatonic

Pan lithioromantic

Fraysexual biromantic aplatonic

You can get WAY more specific than what these cover, but just to give a general idea

Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship. The term was coined by Elizabeth Brake, in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law (2011).

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #microlabels #apothi #litho #cupio #demi #recipro #aego #autochorissexual #greyromantic #greysexual #platonic intimacy #platonic crush #squish #alterous attraction #amatonormativity #anthrosexual #ace spectrum #aro spectrum #acespec #arospec

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

#aromantism #aromantic #aroace #asexual #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lgbtqia #alastor aroace #PLEASE i just want people to LEAVE HIM ALONE #“but it’s a spectrum” STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE #RESPECT AROACE PEOPLE WITH ZERO INTEREST IN ROMACE AND SEX #let us have this #we barely get anything as it is #but just to clarify i don’t believe that most people are being intentionally rude about it #nor am i discouraging people from creating fan content because it is FAN CONTENT and you can express yourself #i just would like people to understand a little more that #yes it is a spectrum and it covers an extremely wide range of orientations #yes ANYONE who identities as someone on the spectrum is completely valid #if you wanna argue with that i am showing you the door and kicking your sorry aphobic ass out #my point is that the spectrum is not a loophole. it is not an excuse and it is NOT okay to just use it willy nilly for your convenience

[writer-ace]

I watched the asexual and aromantic communities get eaten away at by exclusionists and proto-TERFs and queer people making fun of microlabels and people who talked about how they just wanted all of us to stop dividing ourselves so much and people who decided that the concept of the Split Attraction Model was homophobic and people who flooded the ace and aro tags with porn and--

Well, you get the point.

But now a lot of people on this site don't know about ace culture and modern history, so here's some stuff you should know about:

The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was started in 2001 by asexuality activist David Jay as a forum and educational space about asexuality.

A Carnival of Aces, which is a monthly blogging carnival on ace topics, has been taking place since May 2011 and has included such topics as coming out, non-traditional relationships styles and polyamory, asexual education (which I hosted), and labels and microlabels.

The Split Attraction Model is one model for talking about sexual and romantic orientation that splits out those two orientations, allowing individuals to describe sexual attraction/orientation as distinct from romantic orientation (e.g., aromantic bisexual, heteroromantic grey-asexual). While this model is primarily used by people on the ace and aro spectrums, it can be used by anyone who wants to discuss or describe sexual orientation as being separate from romantic orientation.

The AVEN triangle (or asexuality triangle) is a black and white or greyscale triangle that originated from taking the Kinsey scale and extending it down into another axis to address/acknowledge the range of attraction between what's on the Kinsey scale (allosexuality) and no sexual attraction (asexuality). It's generally presented as white at the horizontal line at the top and then black at the point at the bottom, often with a gradation of shades of grey down to the bottom.

Microlabels are specific (sometimes very narrow) labels for sexualities, romantic orientations, and genders. While these are not aro- or ace-specific, they were often associated with those communities because there was a culture of having nuanced conversations about narrow definitions, often by people couldn't find something that fit their experience in the standard L, G, B, or T lexicon. Demiromantic/demisexual, cupioromantic/cupiosexual, and quoiromantic/quoisexual are all examples of micro-labels.

The ace ring, a black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand (generally) is a symbol of asexuality that some ace people wear. It originated on AVEN in 2005 when people were looking for a symbol that was rather covert.

Cake has also been an ace symbol, mostly from the idea that ace people agree that cake is better than sex. It used to be common to see a drawing of a cake with the ace flag colors.

The ace of (heart/spades/clubs/diamonds) has at times been used as a symbol for different ace spectrum/aro spectrum combinations. Ace of hearts is generally agreed on as alloromantic asexual and ace of spades as aromantic asexual (aroace or aro/ace). Ace of clubs is sometimes for grey-romantic asexual and ace of diamonds sometimes for demiromantic asexual, but those are less common.

Dragons were also associated with the ace community, at least on Tumblr. I'm less certain where this one came from (theories include that they're mythological creatures the way ace people are seen to be or that it's because there were headcanons that Charlie Weasley was ace).

#asexuality #queer history

[scretladyspider]

Let’s talk about what demisexuality is not.

First off: what is demisexuality? We have to establish what it is to talk about what it isn’t.

‘demisexuality’ describes not experiencing sexual attraction until a close bond is formed. This doesn’t mean demis are attracted to everyone we bond with, and we can have differing desires towards sex. Demisexuals may or may not be demiromantic — they’re not one and the same.

While demisexuals can also be demiromantic, this isn’t true as a rule. Just like being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean you’re aromantic. It’s possible to be both, nothing wrong with that — but they’re not inherently synonymous.

*For some people who are aroace, include demi aroaces, their sexual and romantic orientations are deeply intertwined and there isn’t a big difference between the two. Other people use the split attraction model, which recognizes a difference in sexual and romantic orientations.

Many people think that “everyone is demisexual” because they read the definition and say “oh, that’s just being normal”. They’re confusing not experiencing sexual at ALL with waiting until a relationship is serious to have sex.

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. The thing people confuse it with is a decision regarding sexual behavior that can be made regardless of orientation— the decision to wait to have sex until you’re emotionally close. That decision can be made by anyone, demisexual or not.

Often people read the definition and say “I’m demisexual, I wait to have sex until it’s not just sex. I want emotional fulfillment too.” When it’s explained that demisexuals rarely have sexual attraction and only under certain conditions does it occur, one of two things happens:

they misunderstand and assume that demisexuals are also experiencing sexual attraction without the bond and just not acting on it, or

they begin to understand that there’s a difference between sexual attraction and action.

More often than not it’s the former.

It’s interesting that this misunderstanding happens when demisexuality is described because allosexuals (people who aren’t ace) abstain from sex all the time but still feel sexual attraction. There’s this underlying assumption that everyone experiences sexual attraction.

But… just imagine that feeling of not being attracted and expand it. It’s doubtful that you experience sexual attraction to every person you see is physically attractive. Just expand that and there you go. Or imagine it like not seeing a particular color until you suddenly can.

Demisexuals aren’t all cisgender and heteroromantic. But there’s nothing wrong with demis who are! If ace isn’t enough for you to respect someone is LGBTQIA+, you don’t understand or accept asexuality or the orientations under its spectrum.

Demisexuality is NOT “just being a woman”. Demisexuality also isn’t “the patriarchy convinced young girls not having casual sex was a sexuality”.

There’s so much wrong with both of these, and they tie together, so I put them together here. Not only does this thinking see cis women and feminine people as being inherently “more” asexual, it robs allos and aces alike of bodily autonomy towards sex and sexuality. It bleeds out from conservative Christianity — it’s the same ideas that lead us to abstinence only sex “education” and that women must be sexually available at all times or their husband will cheat to “get his needs met”. Saying that cis women & feminine people are just all demisexual or ace removes the bodily autonomy of those who want sex and those who don’t by assigning a culturally acceptable narrative as more important than lived experience. But sexuality isn’t limited by cisheterosexism.

The truth is there are still a lot of people learning they’re under the asexual umbrella as educators and advocacy groups get education out there, and even in queer spaces asexuality isn’t always accepted, let alone its spectrum. A lot of people don’t even know it’s an option!

In addition, and partially because of, tropes like this, asexuality and everything under it are considered more “feminine”. Sex is seen as a symbol of status and depending on your gender and presentation, that status gets lowered or raised depending on the number of partners had.

Cis men and masculine aces exist, and also have to contend with cultural pressures to “perform” sexually, whether they want to or not. Erasing these experiences doesn’t help further acceptance towards asexuality or just sexuality in general.

And! Cis women and feminine people can have and enjoy casual sex! Others don’t but still experience sexual attraction regularly. Being allosexual isn’t limited to the masculine. Libido can also exist without sexual attraction. Human sexuality is just not as narrow as you think.

That’s where I’ll leave this one. Remember, it’s okay to be demisexual. It’s not okay to dunk on a group of people you didn’t bother to try to understand. Keep an open mind. There’s room at the table for learning, not bigotry.

#lgbtqia #queer #demisexual #Demisexuality #asexuality #ace #demi ace #text #sexuality #purity culture #heterosexism #asexual #acespec #asexual spectrum

[onesidedradiostatic]

aromantic alastor headcanons for aro-week (with some ace in there as well, because I think for alastor those things are so entwined, it's hard to separate them):

tried going out with girls a couple of times when he was alive, to make his mother happy, but always found a way to extricate himself from the attachment. this ties into his learning how to have complete control over any situation he's in

I wonder as well about whether or not he "passed" as white, or whether his community knew that he was creole, and how that affected his dating opportunities, and his paranoia, his need to be in control, basically his constant hyper-vigilance

got a lot of fanmail for his radio host work, women (and men, but more furtively) loooved his voice. this was acceptable, because (apart from some of the weirder ones) he could use this as a metric for how accepted he was in society, as well as how well he was passing -- both in terms of race and orientation, but also youknow, as someone who is definitely not clockable as a serial killer

although of course we know he also enjoyed company. he'd go out drinking and dancing a lot. was mimzy a bit in love with him? I just like the idea that people kept being incredibly taken with his charm and his politeness and his poise, because he does have all those traits. whether he notices...? (no). I mention this point not so much as headcanon, I just like that alastor as aroace and repulsed on both of those points, was never a shut-in about it. he's always been very lively (ha) and outgoing, and clearly likes being in the company of others... but maybe that last point has gotten to be a little difficult during his time in hell, due to having to be so careful about showing any kind of emotional "weakness." speaking of...

post-death became a more extreme version of himself -- that is, a man on a mission to be in control and create emotional distance between himself and others through the power of voice, rather than having to faff about pretending emotional connections where there were none. very suited for hell because of his precarious political lived reality whilst alive, and because hell is built on who has power and who doesn't. these are rituals he understands better than the strange romantic ones during life

the smile as mask and unhealthy coping mechanism -- wonder if when he was alive people swooned over his having a lovely smile (as well as its being useful to placate and to disorient people who had more violent intentions, and in both cases potentially to lure in victims). so the smile likewise became the most extreme version of itself. the smile in essence as the signifier of someone who doesn't fit into any boxes and needs to hide that fact, both by being mixed race and aroace, but then the smile itself becomes something that effectively owns him, because he literally cannot let it drop, ever (honestly if alastor ever stops smiling, it'll be the biggest gasp moment on this show)

all that being said, surprising connections do occur: rosie, I think, sees through him from the beginning, and she's so disarming (ha, disarming... cannibal joke) that she never feels like a threat + they're both cannibals, so there's a relaxed kinship there and maybe she reminds him of the parts of home he (secretly) misses a bit

I wonder how rosie figured out that alastor wasn't into dating. I think at first she might have thought he was gay, but then quite quickly seen that that's not it, he doesn't even like men much, and she feels like she's been around the block enough to piece together peoples' natures from one of a million other people she's known, so way before she knows the terminology, she knows, and crucially, she never judges or tries to force the point

I wonder how vox and alastor met -- whether vox was able to gain power on his own and this attracted alastor's attention, or if alastor saw something of himself (that turned out to be surface level) in vox, that is, they both wear smiles as masks, they're both presenters, their mediums may be different, but their aims feel similar. perhaps alastor was comfortable enough in hell at this point -- probably in a way he never was whilst alive -- that he was feeling magnanimous towards what must have felt a bit like an upstart. and most importantly, the constraints of alloromantic ideas are a comfortable 20 years in the past by now, alastor can barely remember that this was ever anything that was expected of him, or that others' could possibly feel about him

cue vox falling head over heels, the way people so often did while he was alive, and he... does not notice at all (barely a headcanon). I kind of feel like I don't have much to say on these two, because this blog is already a treasure trove of vox and alastor hcs!

I think rosie is the only one who knows alastor is aroace, although... maybe husk? not in so many words, but he knows alastor isn't interested in those things. nifty Does Not Notice Nor Care (in a good way). charlie i will forever think will at some point do a deep-dive on modern queer lingo and get everyone flags (this is practically word of god canon considering that older piece of art you shared). vox definitely doesn't know. val....... sort of kinda knows but in an evil way. vaggie does not care, but she'd be chill about it. mimzy... I don't think knows, mainly because she never cared to think about his behaviours, as someone who's quite self-centered on what alastor is to her. jeez, who am i missing... angel, does not know, head empty

speaking of angel, I think if he ever found out, especially with where he's at in his journey rn, would be very unhappy in some way about having stepped over his boundaries so often so casually at the beginning. dunno how he'd act about it, but i like the idea of vigilantly (and crudely, and bluntly) supportive angel if they ever manage to get alastor out on the town. more on the ace side of things but i can see him going: "do not try to fuck this guy! this guy is unfuckable!"

(i like hypersexual and deeply romantic angel + sex and romance repulsed alastor as unlikely friendship in my head. opposites finding common ground type stuff is always good)

at the end of the day, alastor living and dying in an amatonormative world and having to orient himself within that by building walls that persist/worsen after his death because of the culture of hell being predicated on who controls whom, veeeeery slowly discovering that he can be vulnerable on his own terms without people demanding things from him that he cannot give (smthinsmthin the hotel gang as the opposite of vox in that sense -- not only that sense, but also that)

also something about imagining his mother hoping he'd find a nice girl and settle down (in the way parents often do, because that's the metric of happiness right.....) and how he never could give her what she wanted, and maybe feels some very locked away guilt about that, which he thinks he'll never be able to deal with because his mother is in heaven, but perhaps in this story she'll get to see what he's built with the people at the hotel and that's really all she wanted for him in the end

OH MY GOD ANON THIS IS ALL SO GOOD?? THANK YOU SO MUCH HAHAHA. happy aro week everyone!! (x2)

#ask #osrs.txt #aroace alastor #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #radiostatic #staticradio #<- one-sided #there's a small bit of it there so might as well #hazbin hotel #you guys are so sweet #aro week #aromantic #asexual #aroace

[romancerepulsed]

theres something that hardly ever gets mentioned in the "can you ship aro characters" debate, probably because its not a particularly convincing argument, but its still very evident to me: if you ship non-pairing aromantic characters, you are butchering their character. you are unavoidably twisting their personality into something its not, in a way different from altering allo characters orientations. when you take a straight character and make them gay, you are fundamentally changing them, yes, but their behavior will generally stay the same. fans observe how characters love one gender and theyll impose it onto a different gender all the time. this is not the same for aromanticism. when you force a non-pairing aromantic character into a romantic relationship, youre inventing entirely new aspects of their personality and inevitably destroying other aspects. and for a demographic as underrepresented in fiction as aromantic people, it really is a shame to see that fans refuse to regard these characters as interesting and whole in their own right. aromanticism, especially that which wholly disregards romance or pairing as an option for the aromantic individual (in my opinion), is incredibly interesting and it should be enough for a character to be this without sacrificing that part of them for a ship.

[disclaimer because i know if i dont say this, people are gonna wildly misinterpret this post in bad faith: i am not saying you should be censored, i am not saying you should be harassed, i am not even saying youre necessarily aphobic. just that you show a disregard for aromantic identity in fiction, and that it demonstrates a disinterest in aro characters personalities and preferences.]

#barking #aromantic #romance repulsed

[wintermoth]

*deep breath*

I'm not gonna tell people who to ship or not to ship. But if you're paying attention you'll notice that I'm not the only aspec individual around here who's uncomfortable/annoyed/angry seeing Alastor's sexual and romantic orientations being thrown out or outright ignored.

Alastor is confirmed in canon to be aromantic and asexual. In a recent livestream, Vivzie herself even acknowledged how important it is to have a character not just be aro/ace coded but outright canonized. And in a show that is RIFE with sexual themes, behavior, etc etc, it's such a relief to have one character whose entire stance on the subject is "LMAO no."

So, allosexuals and romantics, if you insist on shipping Alastor in any capacity beyond platonic, please for the love of GOD just show some fucking respect, alright? It's literally the least you can do. Don't just throw away or ignore the aroace part of him because you don't know how to work with that (Ask!!! aroace!! people!!! Do some research!!!!!!). Don't treat romantic feelings or intimacy with him like some prize to be won. And I swear to all that is fucking holy in this world: NONE OF THAT "I can fix him!" or "(X) can fix him!" BULLSHIT or I will personally haunt you and your family when I die.

So yeah. Have fun or whatever. And remember that your ship will never be canon.

#Hazbin Hotel #Alastor #asexual #aromanitc

[aromanticmina]

The 5 common questions people have about aplatonics

so, I've seen so many blogs on the aplatonic tag having to answer the same questions over and over again, so I figured I could make a list so that people can have an easier time getting to the answers they are looking for! (and apl people can just link back to this post if they're asked one of this questions, if they want to)

What does aplatonic mean?

Aplatonic is a term that refers to the lack of (or experiencing little) platonic attraction or platonic love, it can also mean having trouble forming platonic relationships due to trauma or being neurodivergent.

2. Does that mean aplatonic people don't have friends?

Not necessarily, there are aplatonic people who don't (desire to) have friends or wouldn't label any relationship they have as friendship (even though, to an outsider, some would seem as one), for numbers of reasons.

However, there are some aplatonic people who do have friends, but they're not really close to them/don't feel love for them.

love and care are different things, you can care for someone and want the best for them even when you're not close enough to them to love them.

3. But if aplatonic people don't have friends, does that mean they don't socialize with anyone?

Nope! friendships aren't the only way you can socialize with people. Family, classmates, coworkers, lovers, neighbors, those are all people you have have nice conversations with!

4. Are all aplatonics also aromantic?

Not all of them, while it's true that there are a lot of people who are both aro and apl (see: me), there are aplatonics who are alloromantic (feel romantic attraction) or just don't label their romantic orientation.

(fun fact, the original coiner of the aplatonic label is an alloromantic asexual!)

5. Are all aplatonics also loveless?

Again, not all of them, there is a great overlap between the aplatonic and loveless community (shout out to my loveless apls!), but not all aplatonics identify as loveless.

Some love in a romantic way, familiar way, alterous way (if you don't know what alterous attraction is, I recommend looking it up!) or just in a completely unique but ultimately queer way (hi, it's me, I'm lovequeer).

I still don't really get it...

That's okay, you don't have to understand something to respect it, if you're still curious and want to learn more about us, there are multiple blogs on the #aplatonic tag sharing their different experiences with aplatonicism, you just have to know where to look!

And remember! the Aspec includes the aplatonic spectrum, you can't say you support aspecs if you don't support aplatonic people as well!

#aplatonic #apl #aplspec #apl resources #aromantic #loveless #raysaystuff

[am-i-interrupting]

Alastor ideal type in partner headcanons? I've been thinking about this and your one of the few writers I see that write alastor as close to canonly possible as can be and I really appreciate that in your writing so I knew I'd get a pretty close and accurate answer on this😭 hopefully you can get to this when it's okay for you but when you do thank you so much!!❤️

Aw, thank you, I’m so flattered!

Now, we know Alastor is for sure in the ace spectrum in canon and potentially on the aro spectrum as well and as someone who is on both of those, I have thoughts.

I think that Alastor would fall under the aegosexual category and be slightly sexually repulsed. He’s not completely thrown off by the idea of sex but I don’t feel like he would be very comfortable viewing himself in a sexual light and even others.

As someone who relates to Alastor on several levels, I feel like he would have a similar view to sex as I do. Kind of the opposite of projection here because I do think it makes sense for his character. Where it’s less about the act of getting yourself or someone off and not even about pleasure but about the ability to cause a reaction from someone that not everyone can cause. That will obviously play into any sex life you may have and thus you’d have to be okay with him not viewing you sexually even within a sexual context and more like a test subject.

Then his possible aromantic orientation. Whoever would be with him would have to be okay with him saying the words “I love you” and not being able to describe what that means. Once again, less projection and more if I feel like this thing about me also fits him. The lines between romantic and platonic in society are so rigid and the things he feels fluctuate. He knows he loves you differently than say Niffty, Rosie, or Charlie but it wouldn’t necessarily be romantic, more so bordering on it, if that makes since. Again, hard to describe.

Now in terms of a partner, some absolute musts:

Must be willing to cause chaos.

Must test his limits/challenge him occasionally.

Must have a similar moral code to his own.

Must be able to find entertainment outside of modern technology.

Must be alright with not knowing everything about him.

Some preferences:

Enjoy jazz.

Knows how to dance or be willing to learn.

Join him in hunts/killings.

Be strong headed.

Have traditional manners.

I think generally he would like someone who is very stubborn which will both provide him with entertainment and cause him to become his own. To be challenged in how to do things or how he sees things.

He’d need someone who would be willing to indulge and encourage his behavior. But perhaps due to that stubbornness be able to also reel him in.

Alastor has been described several times I believe as having a moral code to his killings. Obviously this will be a strong moral code as it tells him who to kill. This is not something he would budge on and if you do not agree with his moral code you can say goodbye to being romantic with him.

Being able to find entertainment outside modern technology isn’t as hard as some people believe. Whatever happened between him and Vox was at least the final nail in the coffin for him about modern technology and it would not be allowed in any of his spaces or when he’s trying to be intimate with you in any form being emotionally or physically.

He will not tell you everything. Some things (like his emotions towards you) he cannot describe. Other things (like his deal) he will refuse to elaborate on if you even know at all. The same is true for you. He knows when to not push. He’s good at reading people but he also trusts you to come to him if you need help and he expects you to return the sentiment.

#alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader

[bloggingboutburgers]

Reading your blog, I'm starting to see my relationship with my bf differently (we've been together for over a decade). Like, I've been questioning my romantic orientation for some time, suspecting I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. But I realise I don't really have a clear image of what romance actually is and if it's something I have in my relationship. Like, he's my best friend. But what makes it different that a very close friendship? Apart, you know, the fact we live together and see each other every day. I'm also asexual so we don't really have sex, but for the very rare time I feel like doing something for him, but it's not really something we do, though I know sex and romance are to different things, straight people tend to say that the difference between friendship and dating is sex. I've heard allos saying "if I don't have sex with my s/o, what are we? Friends?" Anyway, I'm just more and more confused by what those criterias are for defining what is and what is not a romantic relationship. Love? I mean, love can have so many forms, how am I to regognise which one I feel? I just care about my bf. I like spending time together. We help each other on a daily basis. And when one of us need alone time we give as much time as the other needs. We do our things each in our corners and meet in the middle when we want company. We're happy this way. And that's great! I just can't comprehend what this all means. Sometimes I'm confused about the feelings I get for other people. Am I attracted to them or do I just want to smother them with my intense friendship? Which is hard. I sometimes feel like I love my friend to hard and I shy away during our interactions for fear to overwhelm them with my love. What's the difference between the two? Between my relationship with my bf and the friendship with those people I have to keep away sometime for fear to be "too much"? I'm sorry for these ramblings. You probably don't have the answers to this, but I needed to tell all this to someone that might understand at least some of it. I love your blog btw.

Sorry I'm replying so late – but thank you so much for all of this input, it's actually so interesting to hear your take on your own experience.

You're right, I don't have the answers, because every experience is very personal and I don't wanna project onto others, but there's a lot of points I actually relate to very much – like, I don't have a clear idea of what romance even is either, I just feel in my gut that it's not what I have with my queerplatonic partner. I guess in my own case I've also always had a bit of trouble with the idea of a "best friend" (like, I HAVE entertained the idea that this or that person might be my "best friend" at some points in my life, but I always end up coming back to the thought that I don't feel OK putting one person above others in my head – I work more in tiers made out of several people at once).

I might also be overthinking things but I often hear in the long-term-relationship discourse that romantic partnerships often wind up turning into friendship over time and that's OK – no idea how that works but it's interesting to think about, and I wonder if there's any truth to that on an aromantic spectrum basis? Like maybe... If both of us are on the aromantic spectrum, then maybe we just didn't get the "romantic high" part because we don't feel romantic attraction or feel it less than most people, and we're straight to that "friendship" part people talk about? ...Either way, what you describe with your bf sounds like a vibe, a healthy vibe to me. Sounds like you guys have it figured out and I wish you the best, honestly.

Also lol it really IS a useful and sobering reminder that to most allo people, the "sex = romance" idea is probably very prevalent still... Makes it even harder to figure ourselves out

Either way sorry for rambling and thank you SO MUCH for sharing your self-reflection, honestly, whatever conclusion you come to I hope life is good for you^^

#mx loar tev #aromantic spectrum #aromantic awareness week #aro #aromantic

[monarch-of-jack]

I might be the only one here. But the reason I feel conflicted when I see people shipping and sexualizing Aspec characters, is because I don't trust most of you to be respectful about it. Not to mention some of you straight up arent.

Yes, Aspecs are an incredibly diverse group of people. I KNOW. I've been in their circles for well over 10 years. But do you all really care about that?

If you don't, then you're really just using it as an excuse to ignore their identities.

Let me make it very clear that I support exploring ALL the nuanced ways that someone can be Aspec. We are so much more varied than just sex-repulsed Aces and romance-repulsed Aros. (Though those are still valid experiences, don't shit on them!)

There are Allosexual Aromantics. There are Alloromantic Asexuals. Aspecs in Queerplatonic Relationships. Grey-Aspecs, Demi-Aspecs, Oriented AroAces, Cupio-, Flux-, Lith-, Fray-, Recipro- Aego-, and a million other types of Aspecs. It's a huge spectrum.

And orientation doesn't equal action. There are sex/romance favorable Aspecs. There are kinky & kink favorable Aspecs. Aces that have and have had sex for whatever reason. Aros that are and have been in romantic relationships for whatever reason. Maybe they felt pressured. Maybe they were experimenting. Maybe they were still finding themselves. Maybe they were forced. Maybe they do it for their partner. Maybe they do it for money or their image. Maybe they just like it despite lacking attraction. Aspecs are people. They are all different and all equally valid in how they live their lives.

A character being Aspec literally just means they're lacking attraction in one way or another. So there's still endless possibilities in creating canon and fanon for them.

But are most of you really shipping characters like Alastor, Peridot, Jughead and co. as Aspecs, or are you looking for excuses to disregard their identity?

Have you actually educated yourself about their identities so you can portrait them accurately and respectfully? Are you infantilizing and patronizing them or make them act stupid? Do you make them pitiful, antisocial, or 'difficult to deal with'? Are you arguing with Aspec people when they point out something is problematic? Are you accepting input from Aspec people? Do you explain that you're shipping/sexualizing that Aspec character because of your specific headcanon or AU? Do you get angry if you have to clarify that after the fact? If you as an Allo, ship or sexualize Aspec characters, do you really do it with them still being Aspec?

The thing is, you can. But a lot of you don't. And that's why Aspec people react defensifely.

We have little to no representation in the media as it is. And yet you're annoyed when we ask you not to diminish or erase their identities.

I want to see Aspecs in all kinds of situations and with all sorts of preferences. But way too many of you are ready to shit on Aspec identities to get your fanon out.

I could go on for days about this. But the fact that some of you will get angy that I even made this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aspec #jughead #riverdale #peridot #steven universe #demisexual #greysexual #demiromantic #greyromantic #aspec community #aspec pride