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marriedtobigfoot · 8 months

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Steve ends up heartbroken, lonely and depressed after season 2. Nancy called him bullshit, even after he ditched all his old friends for her. Billy Hargrove took his spot at the top of the food chain. He can have it, Steve doesn't really want it anymore. But Steve does want to find some sort of connection. Someone to have in his life who isn't an 11 year old kid he barely knows. He tries to go on a date one night, take a nice-seeming girl to a party. He wants to find connection, to kill the loneliness that's been building for months, but just as he's feeling kind of good about things, his date ditches him.

So. He decides to drink his feelings. He gets majorly fucked up, and ends up laying on the ground in the backyard, contemplating how much life seems to hate him.

Only to literally get tripped over by Eddie Munson, who was at this party selling pot and is very confused as to why Steve Harrington is alone on the ground with a bottle of vodka clenched in one hand.

Eddie ends up chatting a little with Steve, nothing substantial, but enough to know that Steve is very very drunk, and also very very sad.

He asks if Steve wants to go back to the party, and Steve staunchly refuses. He doesn't want to be around a bunch of annoyingly happy people.

He asks if Steve needs a ride home, and Steve just kind of shrugs. His parents just left for another trip, so home is kind of depressing right now too. But he doesn't exactly have any other friends he can stay with so. Home it'll have to be.

Only Eddie can *tell* he doesn't really want to go home, though he has no idea why Steve wouldn't want to return to his veritable mansion after a shitty night. The reason doesn't matter much. He offers to let Steve crash at his place. Steve can take the couch, or hell he can stay in Eddie's room if he doesn't mind sharing, that way he wouldn't risk being woken up when Wayne comes home that morning.

And well, Steve agrees. Can't think of any reason not too. Munson has been nice so far, he's got a good easy-going energy that Steve likes. Why not stay the night.

By the time they get to Eddie's, Steve is *slightly* more sober. Not much, but he's slurring his words a little less, and he can walk with only a little help.

Eddie grabs them each a little plate of leftovers, because he has no idea if Steve's eaten at all. It's quiet while they eat, Eddie doesn't push Steve to talk, and Steve isn't sure what to say. Eventually Eddie sets the plates aside and give Steve an easy grin.

"So, do you want the couch, or are you crashing with me?"

Steve thinks about it for a while. He hasn't shared a bed with a guy-friend since he was a kid, and he's heard rumors about Eddie, whispers in the hall about the way he looks at other guys. But...Steve can't really bring himself to care. He's tired, and he really doesn't want to be alone.

"I don't mind sharing."

Eddie sets them both up in his room, letting Steve choose which side of the bed he wants, and they both settle in. There's a respectable distance between the two of them, and Eddie says a quick goodnight to Steve, figures they won't talk and just go right to bed.

Except Steve isn't sober, and he really isn't in a good headspace, so he can't stop himself from blurting things out into the quiet of the dark room.

"Are you really gay?"

Eddie stiffens next to him, he can feel it, he can hear the way that the other boys breath cuts off and he seems to stop breathing all-together.

"It's okay if you are, I'm not going to be an asshole about it, I'm trying not to be that guy anymore. I guess I was just curious."

It's quiet for another beat before Eddie seems to loosen just a little. He starts breathing again at least.

"Yeah I uh- I am. Gay. And if that's weird the couch is still open, I can-"

"It's not weird."

"Okay."

Steve let's himself mull over this confirmation, and then his mouth starts moving again, without his permission.

"Is it lonely? Cause I mean, it's got to be hard to date in Hawkins. People here are shitty. Unless you've got like, a secret boyfriend or something."

"No...no secret boyfriend. It does get a little lonely sometimes. I'm lucky though, I've got my uncle, and my friends are pretty great. That's enough most days."

"What do you do when it's not enough?"

"Hmmm?"

"When your uncle and friends aren't enough, what do you do? To try and...make it better?"

Eddie is quiet again for a long stretch before he shrugs.

"I try to focus on something else. I'll play my guitar or work on a new campaign, read a book. Something to take my mind off it."

"Oh."

Now Steve is the one who seems tense, his jaw is tight and he's got his arms wrapped around himself. His next words come out as a whisper, but Eddie manages to catch them.

"I don't know how to do any of that."

He sounds almost choked, and Eddie is caught off guard. He's never seen Steve Harrington as anything other than solid, as happy. He's the king, after all. He's supposed to be all smiles and great hair. Only...Eddie's noticed that he hasn't hung out with his old friends lately, that he's eaten alone at lunch too many times to be anything other than strange.

"Steve...are you lonely?"

Eddie expects a denial, for Steve to laugh it off and tell Eddie that he's perfectly fine and fulfilled. Or maybe he expects a shrug, a non-answer. What he doesn't expect is the gut-wrenching sob that seems to tear past the other boys lips.

He doesn't expect to turn and see Steve Harrington's face, a scant foot from his, shining with tears.

He panics a little at the sight.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be." Steve tries to wipe his eyes, to hide the tremble in his voice. "Not your fault there's something wrong with me."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like I'm broken man, like nobody can stand to be around me. Tommy and Carol hate me now, Nancy- hell even my own parents hate being at home with me for more than a week. It's like I'm repellent or something. Couldn't even get a date to stick around for a whole night."

And Eddie's pretty sure *he* might start crying now. He'd never have expected this much from Steve, all that sadness to come pouring out. It wouldn't have happened if Steve was completely sober. Without thinking, he reaches out.

Eddie puts a hand on Steve's shoulder and waits to see if the touch gets rejected, but Steve seems to lean into him, so he lets his hand linger.

"This probably won't help, but I don't think you're repellent. And that's coming from somebody who your whole group used to torture. I don't know much about you, but I kind of liked having you around tonight."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Steve gives him a tiny smile. His eyes are still wet with tears, and the smile doesn't come close to reaching them. He seems impossibly small here in Eddie's bed.

"I don't know man. I just wish-"

He cuts himself off, apparently deciding his words are too far, but Eddie urges him to keep talking.

"What do you wish Steve?"

"I just wish that... there was somebody out there I could have a future with. Somebody who actually loved me, you know?"

It might be the saddest thing Eddie's ever heard, and he blames that fact for what he does next.

He takes his hand off Steve's shoulders and instead hauls Steve closer to him, fitting the other boy against his chest and wrapping his arms around him. It's a move that might get him decked, but he doesn't think it will. And he'll be damned if he doesn't hug Steve right that second.

He doesn't get hit. Steve tenses for a second, but it's just that one instant before he's melting into the embrace.

Eddie feels more tears falling against his shirt, and he couldn't care less. He keeps Steve close, let's him cry into his chest, runs a hand through that famous mop of hair.

He isn't sure how long it takes for Steve to calm down, but eventually he does. His breathing evens out, and he shivers a little before speaking.

"Thanks man."

And Eddie takes another leap of faith.

"I could be that person, you know."

"What?"

"I mean. You know Im... not straight. It may not be exactly what you're wanting but. I think I could picture a future with you. If you want to, just for tonight...I could be that someone who loves you."

Steve looks at Eddie, like he's a puzzle that he needs to solve, before a other shiver seems to wrack his body.

"Just for tonight?"

It comes out as a whisper, but Eddie hears it all the same.

"Yeah. For tonight Steve."

"I think...I think I'd like that."

Eddie gives him the sweetest smile he can muster, and nods.

"Alright sweetheart."

Eddie isn't exactly sure what it means, to love Steve for the night. After all, Steve is straight. He figures it doesn't matter much though, it's only for a night.

He keeps a hold on Steve, let's him get comfortable tucked against Eddie, and he does what feels natural. He runs a hand up and down Steve's spine, traces shapes into the soft fabric of his shirt. He tangles their legs together, and in a moment of insane bravery he presses a kiss to the top of Steve's head.

He's met with a sigh, full of relief, and figures he's on the right track.

"Just close your eyes Stevie, I've got you."

"Can you tell me about it?"

"Hmmm?"

"The future. You said you could see one. Can you tell me?"

And he asks so carefully, he sounds almost afraid, Eddie can't say no to that.

"Do you want the fantasy future, or the realistic future?"

"The real one."

"Alright then. Well, if I'm not going to be a rich and famous rockstar...I'll probably graduate and get a job somewhere in town. A real job, maybe working on cars or something. I'm good with cars. You'd come over all the time, have dinners with me and with Wayne. You'd have to meet Wayne. And we'd have more nights like this, sleeping close."

Steve let's out a pleased sounding hum, and shifts his face so it's buried even closer in Eddie's neck. He can feel Steve's breath on him.

"We could save up money and get a little place together, somewhere outside Hawkins. I have to stay kind of close, for my uncle, but maybe Indy?"

Steve nods, mutters something about staying close 'just in case'. He sounds like he might fall asleep, so Eddie keeps going.

"We could get an apartment, nothing too fancy. We would get two rooms, so nobody gets suspicious, but we would share a bed most nights. I'd play with my band on weekends, just for fun, and you'd join some little local sports team. I'd make sure to schedule DND nights so that I never miss a single game, even though I don't understand a damn thing about sports. We would come home for holidays, but most of the time it would just be us. I'd take good care of you, make sure you never go more than a few hours without me telling you I love you. I'll show up wherever you're working just to give you a hug and a kiss, and make sure you don't forget it. And I'll annoy the hell out of, but you won't mind too much, because I'll make you happy too."

Eddie can think of more. He can think about so many things. How he could give Steve one of his rings, even if they couldn't legally get married, even if Steve would never want that. Just as another reminder that he's loved. They could take trips together and go out to parties where Steve will never have to worry about getting ditched. Eddie doesn't do things halfway, and he has a hell of an imagination. He could picture them growing old together, if he tried, if he let himself. But this is just for tonight, so he doesn't. Instead he runs a hand through Steve's hair again, and listens to his quiet breathing. He thinks he may have fallen asleep, but he's wrong.

"That sounds nice."

It comes out muffled, spoken into Eddie's neck, but he manages to make it out, and he let's the vibration of it sink into his skin.

*It's only for tonight.*

He has to remind himself, because Steve is just feeling lonely. He doesn't want that future with Eddie, he just wants to feel loved.

But even if it's just pretend, just to help Steve for a few hours, he's okay with that.

Steve may think he's broken, but Eddie thinks he would be easy to love for a long time. Loving him for one night is nothing. He doesn't even have to try.

Tomorrow Steve will wake up sober, and he'll thank Eddie for letting him stay over, and they won't talk about it. Eddie will drive Steve back to his car in silence, and they'll say their goodbyes. They may not talk ever again, they never had before.

But for tonight? Eddie Munson will love Steve Harrington, and Steve? He'll let himself be loved, let himself beleive it. And he'll love Eddie right back.

Just for one night.

And if Steve ever needs it again? Eddie will love him for another night. And Steve will give that love right back. He's got plenty to spare, after all. And there's far worse people he could share it with.

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harrington whump #steve is sad #eddie helps #pre-season 4 #this takes place between seasons 2 and 3 #I wrote this in a fit of insanity while I was supposed to be working #hope yall like it

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mulletmitsuya · 5 months

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Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

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braxlrose · 20 days

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I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x yn #tokio hotel fanfics #i hope this wasnt completely terrible #i havent written in forever 😞

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lestappenforever · 22 days

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My ask is maybe a bit silly, and would probably go in 'sanity check' category. It is about Max, and how he is perceived. If I understand correctly, it is said he is mad max, bad guy, aggressive… and similar. Now, I know teenagers are sometimes a bit crazy, and from what I read he was actually very badly treated by freaking adults, fellow drivers, when he first joined F1, so maybe then he was a bit aggressive, and it would be even understandable… but still it is difficult to even imagine that. Because Max I see (I am only following racing since last year) is nice, soft, funny, polite guy, still more looking like an innocent kid than an adult, even appearing naïve (unlike the sweet, adorable devil that is Charles!), and obviously so nice towards rookies (Oliver and Liam-who himself said it). So am I delusional and see what is not there or for some reason he is so vilified (I guess most coming probably from jealousy and Netflix crap…). Oh and one additional observation, he always looks so much softer and somehow cuddlier and cuter on photos from his streaming at home… What do you think? One final observation, then I will shut up  Sometimes it seems to me that all the Lestappen moments and specila connection maybe come from the fact that when Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there. Because he went form father abuse to fellow drivers abuse, but when Charles came to F1, he had someone he could have a real relationship with, even if they fought and were a bit sulky almost teenagers still in the beginning, they got over it as they grow up. But Charles is his genuinely healthy, good, fun, friendly relationship. Having spent time as kids growing up of course also deepens the bond and friendship, but also mutual respect and understanding each other’s qualities. I don’t know if explained it well enough… P.S. I LOVE your fics!!!!

Hi anon, and thank you so much for this ask! I don't think it's a silly ask at all.

All these "Mad Max", being too aggressive, being mean claims etc. stem from two things:

1. When Max made it into F1 almost 10(!) years ago, he was 17(!!) years old. He was a kid — a literal child. And he was a cocky, arrogant little shit at that, as any kid would be making their debut in such a prestigious sport at such a young age.

2. Max haters who will hate him forever, no matter what, no matter why. They don't even need a reason; they're just determined to hate him and will do so forever.

But the thing is, and his haters especially seem to love to ignore this fact, Max was seventeen years old when he made his F1 debut. He was, for all intents and purposes, a child. I watched Max make his F1 debut, and I watched and read the way he was viewed and the reception he received from his fellow drivers, the media, and fans alike. And I watched these grown-ass men already on the grid when Max joined welcome him by treating him like shit. These adults were so threatened by this kid who came into the sport without having to go through the same ranks almost every other F1 driver has to go through to get there, such as several years in F3 and F2 (Max only spent a year in F3 and skipped F2 altogether), that they did virtually nothing to make him feel welcome. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was so fucking sad and infuriating, and I lost a lot of respect for many drivers because of it. And if I'm being honest, anon, that's what made me decide Max would be my favorite driver. I can be incredibly spiteful when I want to be, and watching Max get slammed and slandered from so many directions from the very beginning made me want to be very spiteful. That's what made me decide that I was going to support that kid like hell. And I haven’t looked back or regretted it since.

I cannot stress this enough, and I know I've said it so many times before already, but: Max Verstappen was a child when he made it into the world of F1. But he's not a child anymore, which a concerning amount of people seem to be blissfully and willfully ignorant to. Max has grown and matured so much in the years he's been in F1. And, like most other people, Max Verstappen the adult is not the same person as Max Verstappen the teenager, or Max Verstappen the child. And he hasn’t been anything like his 17-year old self in a long, long time. But this, of course, is something his haters will never accept or acknowledge.

I truly believe, from the very bottom of my heart, that Max is always so nice and welcoming towards rookies, always willing to lend a hand or giving them advice, always going out of his way to praise and support them, because practically no one ever did that for him when he was a rookie. And that speaks volumes about his character and the kind of man he has grown into since making his debut.

You're not delusional at all, anon, and having only followed F1 since last year means it's not surprising that you don't see the very outdated and frankly incredibly incorrect persona the people who dislike Max will always keep trying to convince themselves and others is still him. Because it isn’t — not even close. Practically every single person who has worked with or been around Max in the past few years all say the same thing: that he's funny, easy-going, and one of the genuinely kindest people on the grid. And that means a hell of a lot more than the opinions of people who have never and will never know him, and have made it their personal, sad mission to hate him. So you keep holding on to the impression you have of him, anon, because that is a far more accurate representation than the image some people are so hellbent of painting of him. (He’s definitely not naïve, though, not even close.)

And I absolutely agree: he looks even softer and cuddlier when he's streaming at home! I love streamer!Max so much.

"When Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there". <- You are spot on with this, anon! I've talked about the special bond I think these two share in the past, like in this post, and so have many others. (@tsarinablogs @valyrfia @thearchercore to name a few - highly recommend checking out their blogs if you haven’t already!) It truly seems like they have never, and will never, see any other driver as a big a rival as the other, and the numerous accounts of their karting days from people who got to watch them battle first-hand from such a young age definitely backs up that claim. And I think that's so beautiful, and it's one of the many, many reasons why these two are so dear to me, and why other F1 ships will never be able to come close.

P.S. That makes me so happy to hear, anon, thank you so, so much. 🥹❤️

#Asks #Anon asks #Lestappen asks #Max Verstappen

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nalyra-dreaming · 3 months

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Hey. I originally sent this ask to virginia bc a lot of what i see usually comes from her asks, but it is also relevant to your s2 rant so wanted to ask you this too. I don’t understand what you mean by the show people are “making up in their heads”. I watched the show and then went online which was a mistake since a lot of book content was being revealed to me, so I read a couple of the books for context. Still I disagree with a lot of the takes I have seen. How is lestat being “big bad patriarchal” something that people are making up in their heads? Why is it that when the vamps are having good moments we can agree “that they are married!” and “that’s their daughter!” but when it’s bad moments all of a sudden it’s “they’re vampires so it’s not domestic abuse and lestat is not big bad patriarchal”? I understand that a lot will be revisited in s2, but s1 is Louis’ account of things and what he is showing us is very much big bad lestat so idk how that can be something people are making up in their heads. I’ve noticed that while a lot of the speculation for s2 draws from the books (obvi), they don’t take into consideration that some things just don’t work anymore because of the change in the level of violence shown, and bc these characters are Black! Like Louis or Claudia lying about their abuse would be incredibly problematic, so would a revisit of Lily showing that she’s shady/a villain. (And i feel like you agree with this so idk why you say you’ll block ppl who say this). I understand where the theories are coming from, but having these things play out would actually be racist and calling it bad writing if it happened would be very valid criticism! It’s very important to be critical of these things even if it comes from an otherwise very good show!

I’ve also seen stuff about making fun of people complaining that Assad and Jacob are not being paired together, when that is also a valid complaint/want (and I’m positive they’ll be paired together more as they keep promoting s2). I’m excited for loumand even after reading some of the books and knowing that Loustat (or just lestat) is the center of the VC, but the second half of book iwtv definitely centers Loumand, and even before reading the books my expectation was still a centering of those two characters. Don’t get me wrong I am a huge jam reiderson fanatic (literally started watching the show bc I saw that trivia with jam reiderson video) but I am also excited to see Jassad!!! Another incredibly important reason that people are excited for this pairing is of course that they are a queer interracial poc couple!! In fantasy no less!! So it’s understandable that people (myself included if you couldn’t tell lol) would be excited to see them together outside the show as well!! And making fun of them looking forward to it is like not great. So far the stuff ive seen ab press pairing is ppl being eager to see Jassad, but over here it reads as “haha no jassad we told you so” which is so incredibly weird. Again, I’m trying not to come off as like aggressive, and I get that being accused of being racist is obviously not a great thing to receive, but I do think that a refusal to examine or question why people think certain decisions would be racist is also not great.

I feel like a lot of the times when fans are pointing out the racism in the fandom and stuff, it gets taken as them being hateful and aggressive etc etc, but like idk it’s hard to be nice when you see things that are clearly so problematic and it gets glossed over in the fandom. Idk if you’ll answer this but I just thought it was important to share.

Okay, you know, I'll bite. Once.

"Making fun of people is not great". "being accused of being racist is obviously not a great thing to receive, but I do think that a refusal to examine or question why people think certain decisions would be racist is also not great"

"I’ve noticed that while a lot of the speculation for s2 draws from the books (obvi), they don’t take into consideration that some things just don’t work anymore because of the change in the level of violence shown, and bc these characters are Black! Like Louis or Claudia lying about their abuse would be incredibly problematic, so would a revisit of Lily showing that she’s shady/a villain."

Let's examine these, shall we.

Just because Louis and Claudia are black now, they are NOT different characters. If you had read my rant, and listened to the sources, read the interviews, then you would KNOW that. You would know that JACOB (and Bailey) have said that. LITERALLY.

A certain part of the fandom keeps saying this, but that is just... not it. And I get where it's coming from! But they already confirmed that the characters are still the book characters. And the people (including you?) who keep worrying that point just don't want to acknowledge their stance being wrong.

But that is not something that >I< am making up.

Which, in turn, negates your argument.

Also, everything shown in s1 will be put into context in s2, as already said - also something I more than laid out in the rant. That includes the "violence". Again, that's been said.

When the racial changes became clear for Louis and Armand (and Claudia) some of the book fans winced, NOT BECAUSE OF THE CHANGE ITSELF, but because you know, we KNOW what's coming.

All the show fans now claiming Lestat was sooo bad for Louis... oh you haven't seen Armand. Armand will literally gaslight Louis, make him do things against his will (things that will have Louis say he lost the last of his humanity!), isolate him by KILLING CLAUDIA and the coven (intentionally! so he can have him to himself!), and spell-bind him, repeatedly. Armand will chop off Claudia's head and sew it onto another's body to see what happens. And then send her into the sun, to burn.

He will also, as has already been made clear now, "tinker" with Louis' memories.

You think that's cute?! Wholesome? Because they're POC now? Oh sweetie. This show will pull the rug out from under you. And that is not meant as belittling. These things will happen. They dialed up the (absolutely existing) themes to 10 in s1, they will do so once more in s2.

And lastly, re the fun, and being accused of things.

Go and read through the comments of "Laden as the sea". Read what I wrote in the notes, and why, and then what people threw at me. Come on, go ahead. It's a ride. I did not delete ONE comment. None. They're all there. Some of the commenters have edited their comments, so the still-up one is not the one they initially wrote, but I get mails for all comments, so... I've read them.

And I'm not even talking about the shit here.

Oh, and I didn't say that the patriarchal and abuse themes were made up. Which you would also know if you had actually read my rant.

And, again, if you had really read what I've written, you would know that I wrote this: if I‘m going to see anyone scream “bad writing“ or “Louis being made a liar or the memories revisited/changed is racism“ when the changes will hit I‘m just gonna block you.

And that... has nothing to do with the problematic things that might arise from the revisits, because of course there are many traps there to consider, because of the racial change. That I agree with.

But it's not bad writing, or racism, if and when these things happen.

It's just not what some people want to happen. And that is what I mean with the "story made up in their heads".

If you really read the books, then you would know what's coming.

Because this show is made by book fans. It might be good to remember that.

#Anonymous #asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire

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leefl00f · 2 months

Text

…

Okay this is my first time venting abt this, so please forgive me. If you don’t want to read this, that’s fine just continue scrolling.

Oh? Still here? Alright

Okay, I’m gonna be honest with all of you, the “PSA” thing that happened months ago is still on my mind and I’m tired of pretending that I’ve moved on with it, bc I haven’t.

Now I know you all are possibly wondering “Floof that was months ago, why are you still holding on?”

If someone were to accuse you of such disgusting acts that caused some people to block you would you be bitter abt it too? And the answer varies but for me yes!

I have dedicated this blog to be as SFW as possible and for someone to say such a thing without doing the proper investigation themselves is disgusting to me.

They made me afraid of talking to others on the inbox without using anon in fear of being judged

Bc of them, my reputation to some is ruined, people blocked me bc of my interests, bc of the things I like. Bc of who I am….

But noo! They decided to make a post abt it and “warn” the others abt me whereas they could’ve talked to me abt it and get actual clarification

Then again, they also could’ve read my blog’s description. But they didn’t do that did they?

“Some blog looks weird to me but I don’t wanna talk abt it directly to them to get accurate answers? Post how nasty they are! A blog doesn’t come to my standards? Post abt it!” /sarcasm

But ofc I’d be the villain of the story if I speak out abt it (heck even harassed too!) but screw it I am.

I hate it when some people do that, this is immature behavior. And coming from a minor? That’s saying smth.

And the fact they literally had the audacity, to excuse agere and not tickling. (No hate/offense to those that are in the agere community)

the creator of said post had said “oh I think it was for comfort I excuse that” …excuse me?

Like as if tickling can’t be a comfort too?? As if agere can’t be a k!nk to some as well???? (Math ain’t mathing)

However, this could’ve been a mistake on my end with the tagging and filtering (I didn’t really know how it really worked back then). And if it’s the case I apologize.

But I just want to let off some steam on this situation, however, please do not attack or confront this person that made this assumption on my blog to those that know. I…honestly want an apology, something that won’t come ever in my life, and I’ve made my piece with that part.

I honestly try to be as nice and optimistic as I can on this blog but I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t bottle up my emotions anymore abt this. Call me toxic, a grudge holder, but honestly this hurt me so much (emotionally to why and how could someone do this).

But there are people out there in the world that do this for kicks and giggles. And all I can do is try to move on, but there is one thing that I’m grateful that God gave me. Being the mature one.

#tw vent #vent post #floof speaks #:(#letting off some steam #and trying to let go of the past #Also pls don’t reblog this #if you want to say anything pls do it in the comment section #no reblobs pls

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marzipanandminutiae · 3 months

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I see you talking about ouat and it unlocked thoughts that have been neatly filed away for years so here I am, yelling them at you.

I assume at this point spoilers arent a problem anymore for you but you said you originally didn't watch past the frozen but a warning just in case.

I kept watching for quite a long time, but I quit after the whole thing with ruby and Dorothy because what? it just felt so incredibly forced and badly written? and I'd gotten so annoyed because before we'd already had the whole thing with aurora and mulan, which I was rooting for but okay, that didn't work out, too bad for mulan. then we get a perfect set up for ruby and mulan. and it's just. never mentioned again???? ruby comes back eventually but wtf happened to mulan? it annoyed me so fucking much let me tell you.

also I remember trying to write out family/relationship trees and stuff for ouat to see how weirdly convoluted everything got. was very impressed that it seemed they managed to avoid accidentally having incest or something in the show with everything that was going on there.

I have so many more things but this has already gotten way longer than intended. do you have a favourite part of the show? I'm assuming your favourite characters is either regina or emma?

Oh man all of that brings back memories. I didn't stick around long enough for Ruby and Dorothy, but I got the sense that they were doing it to try and counteract the "avoiding Swan Queen because homophobia" allegations.

(I actually don't think they WERE avoiding Swan Queen because of homophobia, necessarily. I think it was never their intent to begin with; they just happened to attract a sapphic audience who were deeply on the Enemies to Lovers train. I do think they may have indulged in a bit of queerbaiting, though, because of some Emma/Regina moments that happened after the writers definitely knew the ship existed. I think it was never going to be canon, but they handled it poorly once they realized that people saw it as an option.)

I stopped watching around Frozen for a couple of reasons:

On a personal level, I just got sick of seeing the characters I shipped with other people. That's not an objective problem; it's my opinion and not everyone will agree. But to me, Hook was a whiny insecure manchild and Robin had the personality of Clippy the MS Word paperclip, and damnit, I wanted Emma and Regina to kiss each other instead of them!

On a This Is Bad Storytelling level, I HATED how Frozen was integrated. Earlier stories had been a nice blend of traditional fairytales with Disney adaptation elements- Beauty and the Beast where Gaston and Chip are both kind of there but in subtler ways, for example, or Cinderella where her dress resembles the 1950s animated version but everything else is different. Frozen, though, was just...Frozen. The entire plot of the movie Frozen had happened before the characters entered the OUAT storyline, their costumes were identical to those in the movie, and while I've heard that they added some different backstory- it just wasn't the "Hans Christian Andersen story with subtle Disney touches" that I would have expected from earlier seasons.

Personally, I don't think the initial curse should have been broken in a season. I feel like that locked them into a pattern of having to continually invent a new Darkest Evilest Most Powerful Magic EVER!!!!! to top the previous season, and that took them to some really weird places (I heard they went to literal hell at one point?). The show had a cool premise and some interesting ideas- I loved how they managed to give individual kingdoms distinct cultures and even fashions. You can tell the "look" of Snow White's kingdom from Cinderella's and Cinderella's from Ariel's, etc.

Everyone who would watch an entire season of Abigail's Ancient Greek Steampunk-ish kingdom, raise your hands. Seriously, so cool.

But something went wrong, IMO around season 4. I'm not sure if the show had just outlived its original concept or had outside pressures pulling it in different directions or what. All I know is, as far as I'm concerned, the show ends when Emma and Henry leave Storybrooke in season 3A. Pity It Was Cancelled So Soon, etc.

(although OOC Matronly SnowTM would have been perfect for live slug reaction memes, so there's that)

#long post #ask #once upon a time #ouat #anon

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alexanderlightweight · 10 months

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Hello! For Writing Wednesday could we please have some more Spoils of War or Created for Death? I’m obsessed with both of these to an insane degree:

What I love about SoW: tentative!Alec whom Magnus has to work at gaining trust from? I love it. There’s a line in one part about Magnus having to fix how the Clave broke Alec before Magnus can gentle him and I just—gorgeous, perfect, headcannon accepted. Veiled consorts? Hooooooly that’s so cool omg I swear I heard a symphony in my head when I realized where you were going. The mask? Alec’s hesitance and obedience, thinking everything is out to hurt him but doing it anyway because what choice does he have, is so beautiful, and Magnus mourning a little that he didn’t have more time to make the experience better for Alec but not willing to risk the delay and risk Alec growing even more distant is just 😍—lmao I could write an essay about how much I love this universe.

CoD: I fucking love eldritch angel nephilim and this is giving EVERYTHING. Nephilim who are cobbled together projects of the angels, their biology so skewed by angelic power that even the nephilim don’t know what their children will look like/heal like/die like. Mostly the difference being subtle, but sometimes Not. Raised to hate and fear their full potential, anything that is Too Angelic, and Alec a living hearsay/blasphemy even when his blood was only 30/70 because if it. AND THEN. It’s not losing Jace that tips Alec over, it’s Magnus dying—demon-born prince/king of edom enemy of the Clave. So gorgeous, holllyyyy. I can’t even think too much about Magnus collaring 6-winged Alec, about Alec kneeling for him, about the terrible kindness and protection in Izzy disowning her brother, about the gentleness of Magnus hiding Alec away and covering his eyes and hushing him because even the ANGELS wouldn’t know what to do in this situation, with this new body, and then Team Immortal coming in and IMMORTALITY and wow

Anyway yeah sorry for spitting up my lovestruck brain in your asks but I had to make sure that you knew you’ve struck me deeply with your writing and that’s why I’m begging on your doorsteps for literally any content in either one of these verses 💜

i'm very glad both stories are being enjoyed so much and please don't apologize i love stuff like this! it's a huge compliment but also it's just really nice to see that other people are as into and obsessed with my verses as i am. because sometimes i wait for my sleep meds to kick in and i just plot where i'm going and end up passing out in the middle of a mental scene being written lol

so i wrote a thing for spoils of war and thank you! i'm glad it was enjoyed because i have this big headcanon about how consorts are really magically important to warlocks and magical kings if dominion magic is in the fic and a big thing about that is protecting the consorts identity. via masks but also cloaking the consort in so much magic that you can't even tell anything abut them besides what the warlock allows you to know. and there is a lot of history thats hinted at

for created for death

izzy was fucked up about that, okay. but she had to relinquish alec as a brother because otherwise the clave still had ties to him. since they don't need them anymore, the clave sort of doesn't let true nephilim have any rights. so alec had to be disowned as a nephilim and then magnus was basically like 'okay but my magic is on him so hes mine since i calmed him down' and izzy was like 'he totally counts as a weapon. yours now. because thats the safest thing for alec atm

so alec is actually 70/30 and most nephilm are 30/70 in a angelic/mundane equation. which is why he was being kept watch over by the clave but uh, the fear of magnus dying kinda made him lose it

i hope you enjoy this!

<3 lumine

spoils of war

—

Alec doesn’t know what’s going on.

Magnus didn’t bother explaining what the ritual was or what it did beyond that it was yet another bonding ceremony. But even their political wedding that signified the end of a war didn’t feel this elaborate.

Alec knows it doesn’t really matter, that he’ll be taking part in the ritual whether he knows what it does or not. In fact, it's almost better not to know than to know what he might need to do.

Alec can’t say no to whatever is going to happen and he knows that, so he takes comfort in the fact that he can still see. The mask has magic in and through it and Alec tries not to consider where it’s from and why he can feel nephil magic still fading from it.

Instead, he concentrates on Magnus and his magic and puts out the thoughts and details of his surroundings, like being watched by over a thousand warlocks and their companions, all hidden with their faces hidden behind a variety of masks.

It’s daunting to be here, to be taking part in something that feels so old and sacred when Alec was supposed to be no more than chattel. Fodder for a war built on the blood of innocents that Alec’s own people started. It feels wrong to be here so defenseless and yet know that Magnus’ magic will protect him better than any weapon.

—

Carefully, Magnus uses magic to take off Alexander’s ceremonial collar and he instead replaces it with a loop of pure magic that will slowly take on more and more power until the image of it will always become whatever Magnus wishes it to be.

For now, however, it is a tight loop of deep purple magic that pulses with Magnus’ magic and power in time to Alexander's every breath.

It’s a show of power to summon a single adamas arrow — one that Alexander gave to Magnus by his own hand — and hold it without harm. Alexander sucks in a startled breath — perhaps at the sight of one of his own arrows or that Magnus can hold it with ease — and Magnus can feel him quiver under Magnus’ palm.

“My protection is absolute. When you bleed it will be because I wish it, for no other is allowed to spill your blood.” Magnus uses the arrowhead to nick Alexander’s upper lip — just as he cut the lower with the stele — and then he leans forward to lick it off and suckle the cut until he earns a whine of pain.

“The flames of Edom will devour all before allowing anyone to touch you without my permission.” Magnus promises and his fingers dance with flames that brush harmlessly over Alexander’s neck — the shard of Magnus’ soul claiming Alexander in an undeniable way that will protect him from harm in Edom.

Alexander seems torn between leaning forward and stepping away and Magnus knows his boy better now than he did when they were wed. Alexander needs no leash as Magnus first thought, just a steady hand and Magnus’ voice.

The bonds between them are the only tether Magnus will ever need with Alexander.

“Sweetheart—” Magnus teases, his voice caressing Alexander with magic and he can see how his boy shudders at the sound and feel of it. He steps forward unconsciously, he's been instinctively drawn to Magnus from the very beginning and Magnus croons and reaches out. His palm blooms with hellfire before settling on Alexander’s hip and Magnus pulls him closer still.

“Should any look at you without being graced by my benevolence, their sight shall be consumed by my magic. A payment for stealing a glimpse of what is only mine to see.”

Magnus’ vows are instinctive and there is a primal surge of delight as he takes the ritual a step further, cursing any being who would dare look at Alexander’s uncovered face without his blessing.

It’s an old tradition.

Older still than the ritual Magnus is using and it’s something that has been out of style for over three centuries. Magnus still remembers the stories of how the legend of Medusa started. A warlock desperate to protect her gorgeous consort cursed her love with a vicious, loving protection.

Magnus knows now that Alexander expects to be a spectacle.

A disgraced nephilim in the eyes of his own people, traded away for a peace bought with his soul and virginity. Alexander expected to be paraded around as a mockery, a whipping boy for the clave to offer to the warlocks and it’s clear that’s what the clave told him he was.

But Alexander is not something to be gawked at.

He is not someone who Magnus will allow others to see, not to admire and certainly not to laugh over. Alexander is his consort and if that means that Magnus veils him in magic and curses all those who dare look upon him, then so be it.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #spoils of war #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 months

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What is something you wish more people understood about you or if you prefer about your job or hobbies?

Hey Lovely!!

Ahhh, oh gosh SO much, honestly.

So I'm a graphic designer by trade, and an illustrator and freelance designer as my side gig, and my hobbies are art-related as well.

FOR SURE, I have to say that I wish people respected designers as the creatives we are. I've GENUINELY had clients who think all I do is hit a "design ad" button and BOOM it's done, and don't think they should have to pay me because – and this is ONLY because I've been doing this for 20 years – I can finish a print ad in under an hour, and booklets under 5, not taking into account the AMOUNT OF CHANGES and STUPID things I have to talk people out of to not make them look bad.

Some other things:

Microsoft Word is not a design program. I HATED this when I worked at the Paper. Good fucking LORD the amount of times I've had to rebuild an ad because the client couldn't resize it themselves and couldn't understand why if they moved something everything fucked up is astounding.

Canva is good for mocking up design, but I'm sorry, you're NOT a designer if you learned design in Canva. I know it sounds gatekeepy and pretentious, and I am sorry about that, but even with Canva you need to know SOME principles of design to get something appealing out of it. A designer, after-all, MADE your templates you're working from. We're everywhere. We're a silent bunch that's under-appreciated. You're never going to get the precision and nuance and a proper eye that you'll get from a designer. Sure you'll get quick and dirty designs, work fine for socials, but I LOATHE when people send me shit they made in Canva that I have to, once again, rebuild because they can't figure out how to resize in Canva and complained to me that Canva isn't making it look nice when they export it (to be fair, that's a them problem, the tools ARE there for you to do that stuff)

When your designer tells you one thing and you're trying to push for another, your designer is trying to save you the embarrassment of your "vision". We know what we're doing. We spend most of our days knowing market trends and what will make eyes go to your advertisements and products.

Strokes don't fix everything.

I can't read your mind. PLEASE, if you wanted an element there from the start, you need to tell me, and not tell me I'm a fucking moron who should have guessed by the blobs you drew on a napkin as your layout.

Fuck AI; I see the benefits of it for smaller things like content aware fill to add a bit more height to a stock photo I'm using, or the smart-select to route a photo faster, but literally that's all I see useful for it.

I know there's loads more I'm missing, but I've seen SO much that I'm numb to a lot of things and tend to just "autocorrect" stuff without even thinking anymore.

I love my job though, I really do. The joke in my industry is that "I get paid to play in Photoshop all day long" and there is some truth to it after doing this for nearly 20 years. But I wish people would understand that we are trained professionals who want to make them look good, and to do that I need time and money. We are literally background characters for the main protagonists, and the pay isn't great unless you're really lucky (which I am, but it took me 12 years to finally get in where I am), and I wish people would stop saying my job is easy.

It literally is not. Think of it as retail, but you deal with the same people every single day nitpicking the tiniest things over and over again despite you telling them countless times that 6pt font is probably the smallest you should go, but no 3 pt must be on this ad.

Anyway. 🙃

My favourite though is Layout Design. I love designing the booklets and mailers we do at my job, because I get to be super creative. My boss is pretty lenient with me, since "you've been here longer than all of us, you know better than me how this works", so I get to have fun.

Thank you for this question :) And gonna promo myself here, if anyone ever needs design or layout services, I'm your gal :)

#steph replies #about me #graphic design #ask me anything #i love answering questions about my profession #because it's literally the only thing i'm good at #i pride myself on my skills

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whatbigotspost · 2 years

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Oh this advice that just randomly came across my Twitter feed is very very good

I’d be lying to you if I claimed I have “beaten” overthinking bc I’ll be managing those tendencies forever I think. but over probably a 15 year process I, too, have adopted many of these and my mental health is in a pretty damn good place utilizing these tools.

Especially important for me as a survivor of mental/emotional child abuse has been FACT CHECKING and understanding what I’m ruminating on likely isn’t reality if no one else has heard it yet, it’s merely “the story I am telling myself.”

The voice of my particular inner critic is my father’s judgements, lies, and paranoia. As I’ve written about many times before the poison he dripped in my ears for 18 years made me feel like I��ll never be good enough and made it super hard to trust the good intentions of other people. Meaning, the disposition I inherited against my consent is overly negative. Many people like and even love me but I interact with them while having a bias baked into me that is against myself and assumes they are against me too (until I consciously push back against that mindset.)

I’ve worked really hard to confront and quiet that inner critic and it doesn’t nearly drive me as much anymore as it used to and as I always ramble about a self-compassion approach is my jam. Nevertheless, the biggest way the inner critic impacts me day-to-day is that if I interact w/ someone and for whatever reason real or imagined, I feel like they sounded even a teensie bit like that inner critic come to life, it can REALLY fuck with me. I feel exposed and worthless. Sometimes I can fact check myself and recognize “that’s not what was happening, this is a YOU thing.” I do that by literally walking myself through a memory and trying to focus on what was really said or done and not what I have catastrophized it to be.

But other times when I’m spinning out baaaad and overthinking something maybe even for days (aka when I’m hella triggered), I literally tell people involved (who I know well enough) something like “hey remember back when XYZ happened between us well it’s triggering all my personal bullshit so I wanted to just ask, when you said blah blah, did you mean [insert my own insecurity] because the story I’m telling myself…” etc etc you get it.

AND!!!! THIS!!! works sooooo well. It’s vulnerable but honest and anyone worth spending time around is always so happy to clear up that they don’t hate me 😂 Finding phrases like “the story I’m telling myself” have been a revelation. Used this at work last week and went from “I have irreparably failed this person and am worthless” to “oh they actually had a super important idea to add to the project that I’m so glad they brought up so that I didn’t miss it.” I don’t know it’s nice to remind ourselves that instead of overthinking something that involved other people (who we trust) we can so often just TALK TO THEM.

Let me end on this though…..be very very cautious of attempting to fact check with someone whose own perspective might be divergent from reality, who is manipulative, or who is solely or largely self serving. Years ago when I still spoke to my dad not long before we stopped speaking and I tried to fact check what was said in an argument the resulting experience for me was MUCH WORSE than if I would have never approached him.

Aaaaanyway…overthinking sucks. These tips are great.

#abuse #overthinking #anxiety #resources #child abuse #good advice

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xplrvibes · 6 months

Text

So, I don't know if any of you heard, but Sam and Colby put out a video the other day that they have been hyping up for weeks as being one that will "change the world."

And I have thoughts about that.

Now, I want to preface this with two things:

Opinions are not law. My opinion is not going to now become the de facto/definitive version of events for all of time. I'm just one dope on the internet, out of gazillions. Keep that in mind, please.

Sam and Colby are NOT on tumblr, so they will not see my opinion. Even if they were, however, they did ask for any and all opinions, theories, and possible ways to debunk what happened, so nothing I say in this is shitting in the face of their entire lives and careers.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is this- I am not trying to tear them down, shit all over them, ruin their lives, or whatever. I am one person, with one opinion- and spoiler alert: my opinion is favorable. I really did thoroughly enjoy this episode. I am very happy for them and how everything turned out. I rated it an 8/10. That's really high praise, coming from me.

My opinion just isn't exactly what 99% of the shall we call them "dedicated" fanbase is saying right now.

And that is OKAY.

Now, with all my disclaimers and legal notices out of the way, the rest of this op-ed will be behind a cut for safe keeping:

Before I get into the meat of this whole video, I want to spend some time talking about the stuff that nobody is talking about: the first 20 minutes.

First of all, can I tell you that I have never been so happy and relieved in my life that these two spent the first day there alone? I'm going to be very honest with you- one of my biggest issues with this series heading into it, was that they brought on all these people that I do not care about (no offense to the people in question) to take part in this whole thing, and I just. don't. care. anymore.

I hate these collabs. I hate them all. Even if the person winds up being nice, like Niki- I'm fucking sick of it. So so so sick of it. I don't know these people, I don't have any loyalty to them, I think 99% of them do not take this seriously and act like fools and have childish potty humor and it's been getting me to the point where I have barely made it through some of their most recent videos.

So, seeing it be only Sam and Colby...ah, what a sigh of relief.

Seeing them together without all the yelling streamers (read my opening statements if this offends) just reminds me of how great they are together when it's just the two of them with no outside influence. They really sell themselves short- they are, and can very much continue to be, the star attraction. They would do well to remember that.

Anyway, early on in this video, something kind of interesting happens that is, as per their normal MO when this happens, never really brought up again (at least in this episode)- they go upstairs and Colby very casually announces that this one particular room makes him physically ill every time he enters it.

Now, anyone who's been on my blog long enough knows that one of my biggest pet peeves about snc is that they never let Colby and his literal gut instinct cook long enough. The man has, at the very bare minimum, a great instinct for sussing out the energy and vibe of a room but they never let him fucking sit there and do it. It drives me absolutely freaking nuts.

So, this is something that I'm highlighting because I hope they get more into it in a future episode...but the thing about Colby is, as soon as all the others show up, he'll just sit in the back and let the others pretend they're psychics the whole time and never mention this again...so I do not have high hopes.

Now, they come downstairs and Colby starts declaring the dining room as a safe area for him, only to turn around and be faced with his mortal nemesis...a cheap reproduction of Robert the Doll. This brings me to my next sub-topic:

Enough with the Fucking Doll.

No seriously. Stop. Stop with the cancer conspiracy, stop apologizing to the damn doll in the youtube comments- do you really think a 150 year old doll is signing onto youtube every morning to read 10k "I'm sorry for looking at you without your permission" comments? Who has time for that? Not even an immortal doll with cancer giving powers has time for that.

They sell this thing on their website. I watched Ozzy Osbourne blow the replica up with fireworks one time. Look how he turned out (ok, maybe bad example, I don't know).

Anyway...omg, the comments. The comments are so tiring and old. Stop please.

The other thing that happened early on that I want to touch on briefly is the echoing of Colby's voice. I'll get into this a little more later, cause it's one of the things that caused me to be very wary of events that happened later, but...while weird that it only echoed on Colby, I do think there's a few different avenues of logical explanation for that, so I'm not going to chalk it up to the paranormal. It could've been an audio malfunction from Colby leaning in and yelling so loudly, or it could've been...well, I'll explain what else it could've been when I get to the rest of this trip. Stay tuned.

A couple of funny/random things from the first 20 minutes that I want to highlight:

Sam just really really really needs Colby to share a bed with him, ok.

Colby- the man who was chugging Diet Pepsi (not even real Pepsi, wtf) on a 9am livestream after only getting home and eating SUBWAY at 3am the night before: "Imagine if all we drank was Pepsi lolz"

Colby manipulating Sam into staying in the basement by pointing out that Sam has to one-up Colby...that's masterclass. That's psychology 101. That just proves that Colby is the baby brother (or girlfriend, as Kris had indicated in her podcast) in this partnership. Sam's staying in that basement lol.

Apparently, The Boys are the ones who put the money down Raggedy Andy's shirt.

Colby's proud smile after explaining how the Perrin girl "flew through the air like a frisbee"...

This whole thing with the challenges- I will reserve judgement until I see how it plays out, but I don't think it's strictly necessary.

Alright, that's enough of that. Let's get into the elephant in the room for this episode: what the fuck is this alphabet game, and is it real?

Now, before I get into the method being used, I need to set the tone here by explaining the vibe I got from the new owner of the house, as well as Satori and Cody.

This is important, because I think it shaded my opinion on this whole thing way more than I would've liked it to, but that's the problem with vibes sometimes...they just take over.

I have never seen or heard of the new owner before in my life. I know who Cody is a little bit, because the Conjuring House has a TIKTOK ACCOUNT NOW (because why wouldn't it) and I know Satori is Jason Hawes' daughter, but that's about it. So, I did not go into this with any real preconceived notions.

But, within 10 seconds of meeting the new owner, I didn't vibe with her at all.

The vibe I got was somebody that is really pushing to turn this house into a money pit tourist attraction. I mean, they have a tiktok account now. They have a campground. It's an air bnb. And she just had that "hey, I need to make my money back on this investment somehow" vibe to her. I have a feeling that, as time goes on with this house, the truth behind some of the legends such as Bathsheeba will start to disappear so that the owner of the house can push the agenda that the movie had started pushing.

Witch babies and demonic possessions sell much better than "hey the town unfairly villainized this woman cause they didn't understand her, and the Warrens were crooks who preyed on a terrified family," after all.

So, I'm already going into this with a healthy distrust of the establishment, ok? And then Satori and Cody take hands and start...running through the alphabet?

And to be honest, my initial reaction was "now what the fuck."

I mean, I have a million questions. How the hell did they even discover this in the first place? And what ghost has time to sit there and play along with this? Like, from the ghost perspective, if the guy down the street has a much easier method for communication than making my ghost ass stand around and play morse code foot stomping games, I'm keeping it moving lol.

But yea, I was immediately skeptical. This is just so easy to fake. And there is, by the way, precedent for faking this kind of stuff. Lots of precedent. And actually, there was a precedent for this very method being debunked back in the 1800's. There was a group of sisters known as the Fox Sisters who populated a very similiar method back in the 1800s. They were eventually exposed as frauds when they admitted that they snapped their joints to replicate the tapping sounds.

Now, again- I was already skeptical of the owner of the house. I had started to become skeptical of Satori and Cody when Colby went to them to ask about the echo of his voice and they gave the most guilty sounding "no" ever on record when he asked if they had any audio recording in the house (because my bet on that is that they were watching him and Sam on cctv and didn't realize the sound would also pipe through, hence the echo that stopped a second later).

So, I'm already skeptical, and then they start employing this method that was debunked back in 1850 and you can imagine where my skepticism went from there.

Now, I want everyone to understand this- I do not believe Sam and Colby were faking any of this. Sam's reaction to hearing his grandma's name is a very genuine response to having someone tell you that they are communicating with a loved one that you thought you would never speak to on this earth again. I've been there, I know what that feeling is. You cannot replicate it.

And they were doing their level best to try and debunk the footsteps and knocking noises being heard throughout this entire thing, and I applaud them for being open and upfront about that to everyone in the room.

I also want to state, for the record, that I do believe in spiritualism in some form, and in the paranormal in some form. I am not a skeptic.

I do, however, know there are a lot of people out there who will use people's emotions against them and fake things like this for attention, clout, money, etc. It happens. So, skepticism in this situation is not unfounded.

Also, something else I'd like to point out- all of the information provided about the people they contacted is readily available and easy to find online. Sam has spoken about his grandmother several times over the years and her nickname, Libby, was in her obituary, which is accessible online. Sam's siblings' names are public knowledge. I, as a somewhat casual fan, have actually known about and have even seen a picture of Frank Brock before this episode aired.

This stuff is out there. It's searchable. It's not hard to find. Even Zach Bell, their producer- give me 10 minutes and I'm sure I could find some information on him, public figure or not. I would never do that, cause I'm not a creep- but someone could.

So...all of that is what is running through my head while this is going on. While I found it interesting, and truly do hope that nobody would be cruel enough to use someone like a beloved grandparent against someone in that manner, it does have to be said that there are just so, so many easy avenues for faking this. I was interested, intrigued, but not 100% on board with it being real.

For Sam's sake, and for Colby's parents' sakes, I hope all of this is true and not some kind of scam to schill tickets to go stay at the Conjuring House. And that's where I'm going to leave that.

Now, a few other things I found either interesting or funny that I would like to point out about Sam and Colby's paranormal ancestry.com journey here, before we move on:

Colby did not know Frank Brock, but then a minute later was like, "Oh yea, I did ancestry.com and I know Frank Brock!" Is he ok? Should we send him to get his cognitive memory ability tested?

Colby's whole entire family coming through and asking him to pass messages along to everyone else...kind of sweet, kind of sad. I wonder who in his lineage is watching out for him, and not Lesa and Layne and Bob and whoever else.

But hey, happy for him that he now has something to bring up at the family Christmas party lol.

Ok, so if anyone is still here reading this- cause damn is this thing long- I just want to really quickly wrap this up by touching on their later attempts to debunk this whole thing. Again, I applaud them for trying, and that really did go a long way to help a lot of people, and make them look more credible in everyone's eyes. I give them all the kudos in the world for that.

I don't love that they outed that random private citizen teacher lady's private info all over the internet, but guess what? When I google her, the first thing that comes up is an article talking about her death in connection to the Conjuring House so...take that how you will.

Anyway, I truly, truly hope, for their sake and their families, that this is real and not a scam being conducted by the people running that house. I will be brokenhearted for them if it is.

Now, my final thoughts on the matter: do I think this was a fantastic video? Yes, actually, I was quite pleasantly surprised. I was getting to the point of not wanting to watch it because of all the over-hyping they were doing, but I'm glad I did watch this, because it was really well put together, very interesting and intriguing, and definitely makes a mark.

Do I think it was life changing? No. To them, it was, but this method has been around in some way, shape or form for a long time, Satori and Cody have apparently done it on Ghost Hunters before, and talking to psychics to communicate with the other side has been a well documented phenomenon since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Nonetheless, it was a fantastic start, and I do hope this momentum keeps up when the screaming streamers come to town.

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #snc video review #xplr #disclaimer: opinions are not law they are opinions

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dumbdolphin3 · 3 months

Text

OK THIS IS A RANT WITH ZERO PUNCTUATION IN ALL CAPS AND SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL EPS. 1-4!!!!

OK SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THEM AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH ITS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GONNA RANT ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THE EPISODES MAYBE IDKKKKK

CHARLIE GIRL YOU ARE SO WHOLEOSME AND I OOVE YOU BUT GODDAMN STOP TAKING PEOPLE’S SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU AHVE TO BE NICE. ALTHOUGH WHEN YOU WENT DEMON FIRM AT VAL FOR FUCKING ABUSING ANGEL HELLLLLL YEAH THATS MY gIRL ILYSM. AND HER FEELING GUILTY FIR EVERYTHING LIEK IT WAS PARTLY YOUR FAULT BUT NO STOP REVEALING MY OWN PROBLEMS TO ME “YOU FIX EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS EXCEPT YOUR OWN” STOP IT HUSK STOP IT.

SPEAKING OF HUSK MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, MY BELOVED. I OOVE THIS WISE OLD BARTENDER. HIM IN THE 4TH EPISODE… AHHHHHHHHH MY HUSKERDUST HEART!!! AND IF HIS AND ALASTOR’S RELATIONSHIP AND PAST DONT GET DEEPLY DIVEN INTO IN THE SHOW I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FUCKING MAKE JY WAY TO FUCKING HEAD WRITER AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. AND HIM TAKING CARE OF ANGEL. GET FUCKING MARRIED (JKJK I LOVE A SLOWBURN (SERIOUSLY ATYD TOOK LIKE 70 CHAPTERS AT KEAST FOR FEELINGS TO EVEN HAPPEN)) AND HIM RELATING TI ANGELLLL AND THEIR DUETTTTTT!!!

AND NOW ANGEL. MY GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU VAKENTINO YOU DO NOT GET TO HURT MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER AND JUST EXPECT ME NOT TO BRANDISH MY FUCKING KNOFE JUST BCUZ YOU ARE FICTIONAL AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD KILL YOU. I WILL GET A FUCKING ANGELIC WEAPON AND SKEWER YOU. NOW ENLUGH ABOUT THAT SHITHEAD ONTO OMGGGG ANGEL NO ONE CAN BEAT HUSK BUT GODDAMN ILYYYYY HIM AND VAGGIE HAVE A SUBLING RELATIONSHIP AND NO ONE CAN CONVIBCE ME OTHERIWSE. THEY ARE JUDGEMENTAL SHITS WHO HATE EACH OTHER AND WOULD THRIW EACH LTHER IN FRONT OF A CAR BUT WOULD KILL SOMEOBE IF THEY SOMUCH AS LOOKED AT THE OTHER THE WROBG WAY. ALSO IN EPSIDOE 2 HIM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SIR PENTIOUS. YES. AND HIM FEELING LEFT PUT UGHHHHHHH!,!

OK SIR PENTIOUS TIME BCUZ HE IS VOICED BY ALEX BRIGHTMAN AND I AM A FUCKING BEETLEJUICE STAN, AND ALSO A FIZZAROLI STAN (HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TI HELLUVA BOSS AND NO I WILL NOT DEBATE THIS) AND OMG HES SO SILLY HOW DID HE EVER GO TO HELL I CANT HES SO SWEET AND APOLOGETIC. I MEAN HE WAS AN ASSHOLE FOR LIEK TWO MINUTES AND HE DID ONLY APOLOGIZE AFTER GETTING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT IF HIM BUT THEN HE SANG A WHOLE SONG WITH CHARLIE AND HES SO SWEET I CANT- ALSO HIS WHOLE THING WITH NIFFTY SPEAKING OF NIFFTY…

I LOVE THIS LITTLE GREMLIN SHE IS PURE COMEDY GOLD AND SHE IS EVERYTHING. SHE HAS PROBABLY KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ALASTOR AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER. JUST WATCHING “INNICENTLY” WHILE ANGEL PLAYED HIS PORN VID… AND HER AND SIR PENTIOUSSSS “OOH HES A BAD BOY” AND THEN HER WALING IN RIGHT AFTER THE MUSICAL NUMBER BEING LIKE “I HATED THAT YOU’RE NOT A BAD BOY ANYMORE” I LITERALLY LOVE HER SHES SO UNDERRATED!!! AND HUSK JUST REFUSING TO SHARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW SHE IS!!, FUCKING LOVE HER.

ANYWAY VAGGIE AND CHARLIE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE (I HAVE SOME CHAGGIE FANART I MADE I JUST UGHHHH LOVE THEM) AND VAGGIE IS SO SWEET ALSO HER WHOLE THING IN THE 3RD EPISODE WHERE SHE’S KINDA LIKE SHES A GENERAL IN THE MILITARY? I FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A POINT FOR THE VAGGIE IS AN EX-EXORCIST (IF THE EXORCISTS ARE STRCTURED LIKE AN ARMY (LOOK AT ME THEORIZING MATPAT WOULD BE PROUD)) ALSO HER BEING READY TO FUCKING KILL ANYONE LOVEEEEEE!!!

UM ANYWAY ITS ALASTOR TIME AND IF ALL THE COMPLEXITIES OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE CAST AREN’T EXPLAINED IN DEPTH I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY (PROBABLY VALENTINO I HATE HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO TAKE A KNIFE AMD-) ANYWAY ALL OF ALASTOR’S MONENTS ARE AMAZING I LOVED THE CALLBACK TO “HA! no” AND HIM AND THE EGG BOIS——— ALSO HIS DUET WITH VOX??? AMAZING AND DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT IT LOW KEY KIND OF SOUNDED LIEK “INSANE” AT SOME PARTS? MY HAZBIN OBESSED MIND ATE THAT SHIT UPPPPP!

WELP THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE MAIN CAST ALSO JUST WANT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE HOW WHEN CHARACTERS SING THEY ARE ACTUALLY SINGING!!! LIKE I LOVE IT WHEN MUSICALS ACKNOWLEDGE THE SONGS IT MAKES ME HAPPY

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vaggie

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saltv2 · 3 months

Note

THIRD TIMES THE CHARMS BABY!

(Nerika HC, multiverse version)

(I am so sorry for the wall of text down below)

No driver license, would definitely be a passenger princess, you don’t wanna be in the same vehicle if she behind the wheel (tried to teach Goldie how drive once)

Inari often saves Nerika’s ass from trouble

Inari hates grocery shopping

Randomly drops off food & supplies to Inari & Ian

They sometimes all train together (except for Goldie his emotional support or something)

Paints Goldie’s claws, does experimental makeup on him

G:How i do look

N:Like you have a husband to leave

G: …. (Huh?!?—)

G: i don’t have husband…

N: well not anymore you do! Now quit moving before i poke your eyes out

(Yes i know he’s not gay or feels attraction in this au, this meant as a joke)

Is cursed to randomly find Goldie’s fur in her house

Attempted to make ice cream from snow after watching a video about it

Strong immune system

Try to kick Henry in the balls and break into his house once

I'm not sure if you stated that Goldie goes outside in his world but l'll imagine, Nerika and him like to catch anything they can get their hands on (small rodents, snails, fish, bugs, frogs, snakes, birds- just anything)

+sometimes Inari requests stuff for them to catch or join them along

Gifted goldie a device so they can communicate when not in proximity

Gave Goldie the sex talk just for his reaction

Teaches Goldie how to do stunts (front-flip, backflip, cartwheel yada yada) got frustrated when he kept using his powers to cheat

She Threw Goldie’s head like a basketball one time

She has strong dislike for big bright lights

Goldie smokes along side her to feel included

deep down she worries for Goldie, seeing how he’s old tech that doesn’t get much maintenance

Robs from large companies (her favorite one is walmart)

She Steals mike’s stories to read and critique later

She bonks people with any item she has in her hand

She likes Halloween in Goldie’s universe, gives her a chance to get free candy and be social acceptable (free candy is free candy) + she drags her friends along for the night

While she won’t admit it upfront (at least when she decently sober) coming in contact with golden is probably one of the greatest things to happen in her life.

G & N perform together, maybe just in the confines of her house but still nice bonding experience

Force Goldie to shower cuz someone dump chemicals on him during a show one time

N & G hold one another for long periods of time brings comfort & security

Nerika probably attempted to piggyback on Goldie when he floating at some point

(I will come back when i have more ideas…)

Oh my god a lot of these are so wholesome im about to cry-

1-Canon!!! This MF can’t drive for shit, while she did canonically drive in her AU, she crashed the car after a few minutes.

2-Canon!! (That’s literally how they met!)

3-Canon!! Inari hates being in public.

4-incorrect, they all manage to get it on their own

5-Canon!! And they all criticize Nerika :-)

6-Canon!! They paint their nails to match!

7-Canon!! They now have to clean more than they did before he came…

8-Canon!!

9-Canon!!

10-First one is incorrect, but the other is Canon!!

11-Canon!!

12-Canon!! And she probably video calls him in the middle of a fight (even in his own universe he has to see blood…)

13-Canon!! Nerika likes making people uncomfortable

14-Canon!! She doesn’t like it when goldie uses his powers to escape/cheat something, because she wants him to learn how to do stuff without them.

15-CANON!!! and she encourages others to do the same!

16-Canon!! It hurts her eyes :-(

17-Canon!! Most likely pressure him the first time.

18-Canon!! So she often takes him to some random techie she frequents

19-Canon!! Who’s gonna stop her?

20-Canon!! She stole freddy’s book as well :-)

21-Canon!! She mostly does it to goldie or Ian

22-Canon!!

23-Canon!! Because now she has not only someone she can always have around, but also someone who can bring her joy <:-)

24-Canon!! She forces him to sing metal to test his fry scream

25-Canon!! He stinks also, she was gonna force him regardless

26-Canon!! (Im gonna cry-)

27-Canon!! She fell off and broke her leg.

(Come back soon…)

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manicpixxiedreambitch · 1 month

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Okay so there is this person, right? To protect his/their privacy, I’m referring to them as Mitch. This is nowhere near their actual name. He is a good friend of mine, and I am grinding my teeth in annoyance because they have a boyfriend who is a MAJOR red flag. The boyfriend guilt trips him over everything, forced them to cut off a bunch of their friends, tries to keep them from texting other people, and then it gets WORSE. The dude used to track them on Life 360. He can have the password to their phone, but they can’t have the password to his. HE MONITORS THEIR DMS WITH THEIR FRIENDS. He goes through their phone. Any time they mention hanging out with friends he tries to guilt trip them and say something like “Oh well we haven’t really talked much in three months or whatever but okay” or “That’s fine, I’ll just burn myself out working to keep myself busy while you’re out on vacation with them, but hanging out with them must be more fun” and try to manipulate them into doing what he says. I’ve been trying for MONTHS now to get Mitch to dump him, but Mitch is still hesitant to leave the relationship. Apparently a few weeks ago Mitch did in fact try to dump the guy and the fucking douche nozzle replied with “Oh, you really decided to do this to me on a day I was feeling really suicidal???”

🚩🚩🚩

And so of course Mitch being the kindhearted person that dumbass DEFINITELY DOES NOT DESERVE, felt guilty enough to stay. The guy proceeded to love bomb them like crazy afterwards, too. Three days later I’m hearing this and I’m like “Well he seems happy enough all of a sudden with you he must not be so suicidal anymore. You should dump him now.” And Mitch is like “No because he’s being so nice now!!! And loving and attentive and he has issues but he’s trying to change.” And I am like “Bro you JUST wanted to break up with him. How long has he been telling you he’s trying to change and what changes have you seen?” And Mitch listing a few small things that were the bare fucking minimum like “Oh well I guess he’s not getting so mad. Like the other day I mentioned wanting to hang out with (mutual friend) and he didn’t get mad about it, he just acted a little weird.” And showed me the texts where he got “weird” where he essentially said “We never hang out anymore… but it’s just so much easier with your friends, ig”. BRO WHAT THE FUCK?????? And I’m pretty sure it’s like Mitch has to ask the dude before they even try to think about hanging out with their friends. The guy doesn’t even go to our school. He goes to an entirely different school. And I have this one friend who used to date the guy before and he said the guy was doing that bullshit then, too. And I’m trying to tell Mitch that they deserve someone SO MUCH BETTER. They said that they understand that but they really want their relationship to work. I essentially told them their relationship was more than a couple cracks in the wall or a leaky pipe, it was a whole burning house. And they are still with the guy and it’s so SO frustrating because I can’t stop thinking about how much more they deserve.

I can’t stop thinking about them, and at first I was convincing myself that it’s nothing. I’m not interested in Mitch, I’m just a concerned friend who hates their toxic boyfriend and wants the best for them. I’m just protective of my friends.

…right???

Wrong. Because then the thoughts turned to something different. I keep thinking about how they deserve better. How if they were MY partner, I wouldn’t be treating them like that. I’d be giving them respect and space when they need it, and I wouldn’t make them ask for my permission for anything. And then it proceeded to me thinking about how cute they are and how amazing they are. And then I started having these little daydreams of taking them out on a date.

So, in spite of me saying literally two months ago that despite being bisexual, I have never felt myself attracted to people beyond male and female, I am finding myself developing the smallest, tiniest crush on my trans/genderfluid friend.

What the fuck do I even do with this??????

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