#I need a place to actually talk to mutuals more since my activity here can be so spotty

[0wllight]

Also: my old mutual server kinda died out really fast + I ended up deleting it- I'm thinking about making a new one and trying to keep it actually active, would anyone be interested in joining? I would rather have it as adults only by the way! Idk, comment or like if you would be interested :)

#I need a place to actually talk to mutuals more since my activity here can be so spotty #Like I feel bad when I vanish for days at a time without a word LOL #At least with a server I can keep up with you guys #So lmk!! #Ky shut up #my post

[comradekatara]

I just read your rant about zukka and it made me think what if zuko’s obsession with sokka has to do with the fact that sokka in some ways encompasses some of the traits that have been forced on Zuko since he was young like the whole killing without mercy or remorse and the need for control and the strategic thinking. But Sokka uses these skills no to try and rule the world but to help aang stop Ozai. I haven’t watched atla in a while but your analyses help me realize a lot of details that I missed about it was he characters

yeah i’ve talked before about how sokka and azula being so similar must be kind of a mindfuck for zuko because sokka has “a killer instinct that’s just so fire nation” but also he’s literally friends with the bald baby pacifist monk avatar who says shit like “do you think we could’ve been friends too?” and so zuko clearly has no idea what to think. like he and azula were both indoctrinated into this world that valued certain traits and dogmas over others (ie, sokka’s over aang’s) and so azula sees sokka as more of a threat.

it’s funny because obviously sokka and zuko’s first encounter is sokka getting his ass handed to him by a guy who doesn’t even care that he’s in his way, but also that scheme is pretty immediately disrupted by sokka’s boomerang. and then the next time they meet, sokka has actually spent time training under someone (instead of fumbling around in the dark by himself) and can now hold his own far better. and every single encounter after that sees sokka not only rising to zuko’s level, but surpassing him, fighting him, foiling his plans, advocating to leave him for dead, ignoring him, dismissing him.

even at the western air temple, sokka is the liaison who welcomes him into the group (the designated “leadership” role comes with more responsibilities than simply assassinating assassins), but he also makes it pretty clear that he doesn’t care for or trust zuko throughout “the firebending masters,” even if his manner of bullying is far less overtly malicious than katara’s. and yet, zuko cannot discount him. zuko saw him kill combustion man. zuko understands his value to the group. zuko recognizes that quality he and azula share. zuko may have had an advantage over him the first time they met, but it sure didn’t last long. if azula and zuko have anything in common, it’s a mutual respect for sokka.

like, sokka is the only member of the gaang’s name azula actually says (aang is “the avatar,” katara is “peasant,” toph is [insert blind joke here], and suki is “my favorite prisoner”) and on the day of black sun, she elects to distract sokka first and foremost knowing that he’s their “leader.” and she does clearly respect him more than most people do because she can see herself in him (at least to some extent, i don’t think either of them are actually insightful enough to realize how deep that connection truly goes) and thus can recognize his worth as someone who is in a similar position, albeit on the opposite side.

zuko does say and aang and katara’s names (and appa’s), but sokka’s name is the first he says, and it’s really the only name he uses as a mode of address. and the matter of naming is clearly important to royal heirs, who are defined by their names and titles. we see that especially when zuko confuses ursa’s “remember who you are” with “remember your ancestry,” declaring who he is not as internal identity, but as title. to afford someone the respect of addressing them by name is to implicitly demonstrate respect for them.

this is further demonstrated by the fact that unlike “you just had to pick up the glowing egg” zuko of just an episode prior, zuko really does follow sokka’s leadership and places his complete faith in his abilities. there’s no complaining or backseat driving or undermining of his intentions, which is genuinely anomalous for zuko, who generally refuses to listen to anyone about anything (unless he’s being actively scared into submission, and even then he’s stood up to ozai multiple times). he’s not outspoken in these episodes, however. he is downright docile. and it’s because he genuinely believes sokka to be his superior. which isn’t to say that sokka isn’t better than he is, but like. aang is too and he doesn’t take his knowledge into account! because aang doesn’t represent the values that zuko strove to embody his entire life.

what’s more, i would imagine there’s something kind of satisfying, if not downright intriguing, about knowing someone who basically is what you aspire to be, who you were told you must be your entire life, and seeing that he is just. absolutely fucking miserable. like azula is also miserable, but zuko doesn’t know that (yet), because she hides it better. but sokka is genuinely suicidal (especially in these episodes). meeting this idealized standard of perfection you have always failed to reach and realizing that whatever standards you once (recently) held yourself to are actually deeply unfulfilling. that sokka isn’t “perfect,” that he actually considers himself a failure. and the fact that when he does fail, he considers it the end of the world because he never built up the resilience one gets from being a normal person who doesn’t always succeed on their first try. and zuko’s like “finally, something i have that he doesn’t: intimate knowledge of what it’s like to constantly fail and underperform and disappoint people!”

zuko is really perfectly equipped to support sokka in this situation, because he idolizes him enough to provide him with the unconditional support sokka feels fundamentally undeserving of, and also understands sokka’s misery enough to give him actually meaningful advice when it matters. what’s interesting about how zuko feels about sokka is that it’s not just about uncritically putting him on a pedestal for being Nice Azula or whatever, it’s also about zuko’s genuine desire to help sokka and protect him.

yue inhabits the martyr role that sokka has always envisioned himself in, suki establishes herself as someone who is equally capable of protecting him and he can her, and zuko risks his life to support sokka on his crazy suicide mission, when sokka was so intent on going it alone because he wasn’t thinking clearly didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. sokka doesn’t need someone who treats him like an irreproachable god. in fact, i think sokka would hate nothing more than having a sycophant. he needs someone who understands that he is fallible and vulnerable and needs help like any human being does, and respects and trusts and admires him anyway.

zuko doesn’t have the capacity to recognize azula’s insecurities and shortcomings, or the desire to help her, but he does for sokka. because he never felt like he was in a position where he had to compete for something against him. he’s not trying to usurp sokka’s role as “leader” (except for whatever was going on in “sozin’s comet,” but that’s for another post) and is happy to simply follow him, in a way that is genuinely uncharacteristic for him.

and you can say that it’s because zuko is gay and stupid (which wouldn’t be wrong, per se), but it’s also because sokka embodies everything zuko ever thought he had to be. and it’s because sokka doesn’t even care. it’s the recognition that one person’s idealized model of behavior is another’s burden. that if zuko had been “perfect” like sokka, he never would’ve gained the wisdom to accept defeat and not let it deter him. perfect like azula, who, like sokka, shatters in the face of failure.

zuko says as much in “the siege of the north,” and again in “the western air temple.” the fact that he isn’t a prodigy, the fact that he “had to struggle and fight” to achieve what little he has, is “what made me who i am.” so he’ll respect sokka, of course, because sokka is who he wished for so long that he could be. but he’ll also support sokka, because he has just enough distance from the situation to recognize that he’s not an island (even if sokka himself is convinced that he must be). so it’s not obsession, per se, nor is it simply uncritical admiration that confuses excellence for infallibility. it’s unconditional support born of understanding, a sort of empathy. it’s devotion.

#xxzavier42 #asks #sokka #zuko #azula #sokkaxzuko #azula&sokka #azula&zuko #analysis #at some point i gotta stop saying ‘whoops i wrote way more than i thought i would!!! teehee’ #and recognize that this is simply my modus operandi #i love to ramble …. lol #also when i call sokka the ‘leader’ its with the caveat that I think the designation of leadership is kind of flawed #but that’s definitely how azula and zuko see it #and in the most traditional sense that’s what he is #but not always. #i need to finish and post my essay on katara and sokka gifted kidism…. #anyway. zucchini good 👍🏼

[byghostface]

//long rambling

There is a vent in the last part (about pro ship:/+ wired shipping + block list) it's naturally negative so reading at your own risk.

So in the new Batman and Robin issue #7 Nika's sister making an appearance, got me thinking of other possibilities for sibling characters to come back.

Mostly I’m thinking about Respawn since he is Joshua Williamson's own character. And He made Respawn appeared in the last issue of Robin(2021), he also brought back Mara in that run too (just some appearance in the later issue).

And now Joshua Williamson is writing Batman and Robin, so naturally he can bring some characters back in this run. He had said in an interview that he might have figured out a way(try) to bring back Maya.

Throwback to 2022 of this old wip/art I made, is about what I think the emo teens of Lazarus squad dynamic would look like.

I imagine Nika and Respaw are irritated/tolerate with each other but would stay for Damian because Nika is Damian's girlfriend and they want to stick together. Meanwhile, Damian likes to include his half-brother in some fun activities (Respawn is acting reluctant bc of his own issues but he actually likes to have friends and feel include).

I haven’t finished this art bc I was going to add more wips (with other characters like Rose and Hawke) to make it a post. I didn't finish this art back then bc I was afraid Talia fans would be mad at me for drawing Respawn.

Trust me, I hate that Talia gets associated with Deathstroke like this, but I think Respawn is a confused/mistreated teen character and Damian (bless his heart and soul) still wants to be his brother regarding the whole mess. I will explain/talk more about my thoughts on Respawn as a character and his situations once I finish these drawings and get ready to post them.

Writing/typing words is harder than drawing for me personally. Drawing is like channeling my energy into a picture and forming an atmosphere and hopefully people will understand what thoughts and feelings I was trying to convey. Writing is using more brain powers to choose the correct and cohesive words, so people would not misunderstand what I'm talking about. Especially when English is not my first language, and even so I normally don't talk(write) much in my mother tongue either…(I'm not a quick thinker, it took me a longer time to think things through, writing literally exhausted me physically and mentally more than drawing.)

It doesn't mean I don't enjoy writing, it's just not my first choice to convey thoughts… but considering I can't draw everything I have in my mind and it takes even longer time to finish any art, I just need to write down things first from now on. Tumblr is the only place I can think of that has this longer text feature blog post and I'm more familiar with this platform format. So I will still be here posting my fan content.

.

(↓Vent, if you want to avoid being block by me then read down below.)

I must say I will forever hate respawn x flatline as ship, cus I know who started this ship and their reasons behind it—Don’t let the new character develop naturally as the story goes, let’s put them in made-up weird situations first so I can prop up my own ship!😍 And get both of the new characters out of the way, since no one would defend them so I can fanon the hell out of them by making them look bad all around!🤞 (What if I stone you first hand🪨🪨💥)

And I will continue to dislike/against any shipping Damian's sibling to Nika. I simply don't like the unnecessary sibling conflict just for romance tropes! So go away boooo I hate you‼️ Not to mention the ignoring of different age range multi-ship hide behind poly… that's straight up proshipping I hate you even more!!👎

Also for people who said Nika should be crush on Damian's mother instead of him… I hate you twisted proshipper rotten smooth brain‼️‼️ She dating a boy her age and has mutual connections with him, why would she crush on her boyfriend's mother instead?? Just because Nika is a big fan of Talia??? So you telling me young ppl can't idolize adults normally without being labeled as romantic nowadays huh??( Not saying you can't crush on adults, but why crush on your boyfriend's mom? ) Your weird ass mind is showing with this ass hc be fr. Again, why would you imagine that? You just wanted to push a fake narrative of Nika being wired so you could have an excuse to make Talia and Damian dislike her (which is not true), but in fact is YOU are the weird one projecting your twist thoughts/hate onto Nika‼️💥🪨🪨

I will start to block ppl who are shipping/liking respawn x flatline (+proshipper) and STILL interact with me, read the room!! My art is not for you weirdos‼️Go away BOOOO💥 🪨🪨🪨💥💥

Can't believe I need to type this all out cuz some of you weirdos will still do these things and think is okay to interact with me and my post/showing in my notifications BOOO👎🪨🪨💥🪳🪳🪳🩴🩴🩴

(sorry for venting about random weirdos/Nika haters again, and thanks for reading.)

#siblings #sibling characters #writing and drawing #flatline #nika #flatline dc #mila #talia #damian #maya #mara #respawn #respawn dc #anti respawn x flatline #anti respine #anti proship #block list #dc comics #born to draw but was forced to write to be better at defending my favorite characters #/j about being forced to write cuz I do like writing #it's just more difficult than drawing for me

[sapphires-and-silver-linings]

Half-Life | Chapter Two

He didn’t know what to make of you.

Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Body Horror

Notes: Here's chapter two! This was a lot of fun to write! I hope you guys like the banter and interactions as much as I enjoyed writing them lol. I think our little monster Leon is so cute in this. Please leave a comment if you can! would love to know your thoughts!

Masterlist | Previous | Next

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“Wow… that’s… good?” you told him, lying through your teeth, thinking about how you got yourself into this predicament.

Leon had ushered you down the winding path of the village outskirts, the two of you trying to maneuver around a pervasive awkward silence after your initial meeting.

When Leon wasn’t actively trying to intimidate you, he was reserved. Almost… shy?

To break the tension, you had asked if he invited all of his visitors home.

His reply?

“Just the pretty ones.”

You laughed at that, rolling your eyes, and he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle before growing more serious.

“This is the first time in a decade I’ve actually talked to someone. Most people… run away before they start asking questions.” His eyes shifted over to you as he added, “As they should. You’re a special case, apparently.”

You scoffed. “You scare them away, though. On purpose. Not my fault I saw through it.”

“Well, it’s for their own good. And my peace of mind. You really managed to catch me off guard.” 

“It’s a skill few possess,” you replied with a teasing grin.

He clicked his tongue in response before leading you up to a house with large front double doors. “Home sweet home.”

You released your hold on his arm, watching as he opened them and swept his hand forward, offering to let you walk in first. 

What a gentlemonster, you joked to yourself.

You nodded and made your way inside, sliding your backpack off your shoulders and setting it down against the wall before taking in the decently sized space. It was pretty nice, though bare of decorations and a bit worn. Must be great not having to pay rent.

“Mi casa es su casa,” he told you, closing the doors.

Shutting out the day, you came to realize just how dark the place was. Even the windows did little to aid your sight, as the sun was beginning to set. 

“Uh, Leon?”

“Yeah?”

Those glowing red eyes were trained on you, even more pronounced in the shaded room. “Is there a light in this place? Or do you just… live like this?”

“Shit,” he hissed, breezing past you to a cabinet and pulling out an array of white candles and a box of matches, setting them on the dining table in front of you. “Yeah, I can kinda… see in the dark.”

He opened the small box and tried to carefully pluck a match from inside, struggling to gain purchase with his claws on the tiny wooden handle.

“Let me,” you offered, gently tugging out his hand and grabbing a match. “And night vision, huh? That sounds useful.”

He seemed genuinely shocked by the action, eyes widened slightly, before clearing his throat and taking a step back to let you strike the match and light the surrounding candles. “Uh, yeah. Guess so.”

Once the wicks were lit, covering the room in a soft yellow glow, you gave him a smile. “So, you were saying about dinner?”

“Right, I’ll get on that. Sit tight.”

That was an hour ago.

And now you sat with a plate in front of you, just finished with chewing a tentative forkful of the charred hunk of meat placed there.

You watched Leon eat his own in a couple bites, simultaneously uneased by the way his sharp teeth shredded the morsel to bits in mere seconds, and fascinated.

Leon pulled a face as he swallowed, sighing deeply. “No need to lie. That was awful.”

“Sorry. I really tried to like it,” you said with an awkward laugh.

“Don’t be. I’m a little rusty in the kitchen. Been a long time since I’ve had company for dinner, you can imagine.” He shrugged. “And if I’m being honest, even as a human, I was never really good at cooking. Much harder with these.”

He held out his large hands, and you stared at the black claws that seemed to extend straight from his fingertips, their edges like daggers. Your gaze remained on them for a few moments before you rose it back to his face.

“I’m guessing you eat your meat raw, then?” 

His eyes flicked away from you and he seemed almost ashamed. “Yeah. I didn’t, at first. Tried to keep up with cooking. But I found it easier—and tastier—to eat it… fresh. I’m not human anymore and it’s not like it can make me sick. Nothing can, actually.”

“Ah. And how does one… find that out?” you knew the answer would unsettle you but asked him anyway. It must have been morbid curiosity that drove you.

He looked uncomfortable at your questioning, and you saw his tail swish almost irritably behind him on the stool he sat upon. “I’m not sure you want to know.”

You bit your lip, feeling guilty for your nosiness. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me. But I won’t judge you for it.”

He let out a humorless laugh. “You’d be smarter if you did. You just met me, after all. Who's to say I didn’t lure you here to eat you because I like to toy with my food?” 

“What are you, the big bad wolf?” you taunted, unconvinced. 

He leaned forward across the table, a long tongue sliding against his fangs as he stared you down, replying in a low voice that sent a shiver up your spine, “I could be. Don’t forget you can always start running, little rabbit.”

You swallowed, trying to keep the nerves that twisted in your gut at bay. “I reiterate, no one has gone missing here in ten years. You’re not munching on anybody.”

“No one who’s been reported. You’d be surprised how many drifters are in the world.” His claws were now splayed out on the wooden surface before you, digging into it.

You being you—a fool of the highest degree—you placed your hand over his, hoping he didn’t grab your arm and sink his teeth into it. “You’re not scaring me off, Leon. And we made a deal, remember? You owe me for being willing to keep my mouth shut.”

He appeared dazed as he focused on your palm pressed to his knuckles, letting out a breath as he pulled away.

“You’re stubborn.” There was a faraway look in his eye as he added, “Reminds me of someone I know… Knew.”

“Someone good, I hope?”

He grinned, the already stretched skin of his mouth somehow pulling further. “The best.”

There was a tension between you that you couldn’t name, just looking at each other, when a loud scratching noise from the front door startled you.

“What the hell is that?” you questioned lowly, your vision zeroing in on the concerning sound.

Leon stood, looking unbothered as he strode over to the door, explaining simply, “Just Wolfie.” 

You looked at him as if he lost his mind, standing from your chair and backing towards the corner of the room. “Wolfie?”

Before you could protest, he flung open the door and a flash of white fur came barreling into the house, black feathers flying through the air.

You yelped as it rushed straight to you, closing your eyes and bracing for an impact that never came.

You peeked down through your fingers and saw a large white wolf-dog sitting in front of you, its tail wagging as it offered you the thing in its mouth.

“Good boy, bringing me a crow,” Leon praised in a strangely cute voice coming from… whatever the hell he was. It made something in you flutter. 

He walked over to you, leaning forward to pull the dead bird from the dog’s mouth, holding it by its neck as he inspected it. “Now that’ll be a good midnight snack.”

The dog nuzzled your leg and you bent to pet him, trying to ignore the blood that stained his snout (and now your pants). You noticed the gray hairs that decorated his white fur.

Oh, you’re an old little man, you thought, ruffling the dog’s thick coat.   

Disregarding the implications of your observation, you decided to poke fun at Leon’s naming skills instead, saying, “Wolfie, huh? How original.”

Leon hung the bird on a rope by its feet in the kitchen, turning to face you with a roll of his crimson eyes. “Don’t start.”

You giggled and he seemed to smile at the sound before glancing at the table and grimacing.

“Sorry about dinner, by the way. That was the last of my meat, unless you want to eat the crow. I might let you cook it, though.”

“It’s okay, I brought plenty of food in my bag.”

“Still, I really suck at this whole host thing.”

“Not threatening to eat the guests would be a great start to fixing that,” you teased.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” he replied sarcastically. 

Leon took your plate and placed it on the floor, letting “Wolfie” scarf down your uneaten meal. He stroked the dog on the head lovingly, and despite how odd it was to witness the arachnid-like creature interact with a household pet in such a way, it was somehow sweet.

“Livestock,” he said after a moment, still crouched before his canine friend.

“What?”

“How I found out I liked raw meat.”

“I see.” 

He glanced up at you, then, continuing, “The villagers had livestock. Cows, pigs, chickens. Most of them were killed when the town dogs were turned by the Plagas. After I cleared out the parasites, I planned on keeping a few of the farm animals around, for eggs and milk, you know?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I tried. But then I went a few days without eating, the wildlife in the area having fled during the chaos stirred up by the cult. There was nothing to hunt. Even the fish seemed to be hiding. I… I blacked out. Woke back up digging my claws into a half-eaten pig, surrounded by the bodies of the other dead livestock. I guess I—I guess I went into a hunger frenzy and slaughtered them all. Thank god I hadn’t found Wolfie at that point. I worry what would have happened if he were there.”

Your eyes widened at his confession, visibly stiffening up in horror.

He noticed your shift in demeanor and seemed to deflate, sighing miserably. “It hasn’t happened since. As long as I have something to eat every couple of days, I’m not a threat to you.”

Having witnessed him devour a chunk of venison just minutes prior, you relaxed marginally. “Still, a shame you wasted all that meat.”

He scrunched his nose before responding, “Actually… I didn’t waste it.”

“Wow, got quite the appetite, I take it?”

“Yes, but not that much.”

His evasive answers confused you. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Well, I didn’t want to lose myself again after that, so what bodies were left, I skinned and chopped up, putting them in the icebox. But then I ran out of fuel and couldn’t use the generator to power the electricity anymore. The meat went rancid. I was going to throw it out, obviously, but I was getting hungry again and I just… ate it anyway.”

You made a disgusted face. “Yum. I guess if you can’t get sick, you wouldn’t have to worry about food poisoning. Bet it didn’t taste great, though.”

“It didn’t, but meat is meat. I could stomach it and it kept me from going feral again. Small price to pay.” He sniffed as he stood up. “You have every reason to be afraid of me. Disgusted. I know I am.”

He looked away from you, then, his tail and appendages drooping in obvious distress.

You took a shaky exhale and stepped toward him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face you again, the confusion at your willingness to be closer to him after that conversation clear in his red irises. 

“I’ll be honest, you make me nervous,” you admitted. “But you’re obviously trying your best to hang on to the more human side of you. And I’ve never met a living cryptid before, so I think I just need time to adjust. That’s all.”

“Could I even be considered a cryptid anymore if you know who and what I am now?” he questioned with a light chuckle.

“I guess not to me, personally. But to the rest of the world? Still a cryptid, I’m afraid.”

“I’d rather not be anything to the world. Except maybe a long-forgotten ghost. Would make my life easier that way.”

“Well, luck’s on your side, cos with how popular my paranormal blog is becoming, I might be able to convince people this place is a bust and they’ll hopefully lose interest in El Escorpion altogether,” you offered.

“You’d be willing to do that for me?”

“For the right price, of course,” you told him, a sly smile on your face.

He snorted. “Of course.”

Things seemed to ease after that, the two of you chatting well into the night once you chowed down on some of the food you packed yourself.

He divulged very little about his life before the transformation, opting to tell you funny stories of his antics in the wilderness instead. He asked you about your work and even after you warned him that once you started rambling it was hard for you to stop, he encouraged you to anyway, seeming to listen intently.

You managed to circle back to why you ended up there with him in the first place, asking him about his run-ins with the occasional visitor. After describing his side of the various encounters, you both got a kick at how dramatically the others told their version of events, and how his cryptid name came to pass.

“The Scorpion, huh?” he asked in amusement, glancing at his own tail and appendages. “Guess they’re not far off.”

Eventually, the candles started burning down and a yawn bubbled up in your throat as you explained controversies in the cryptozoology community, like how some scholars speculated that certain cryptids are actually just very old B.O.W.s.

“As interesting as this has been,” Leon started after you let out another aggressive yawn, “I think it’s time to call it a night.”

“And I think I have to agree,” you said with a smile. “Where’re you putting me?” 

“C’mon, I’ll show you.” 

With that, he led you up the stairs, Wolfie hot on your heels. He took you to the door of the only bedroom in the building, opening it up to reveal a massive and very comfortable-looking canopy bed. 

You turned to Leon, confused. “There’s only one bed.”

He chuckled, plopping down on a blanket folded up on the floor next to his furry companion. “You take it. I’m good here.”

“You… sure?” you questioned tentatively.

“Positive.”

You nodded, smiling at him, and kicked off your shoes, climbing onto the mattress.

You watched him in shock as he fully retracted his appendages into his back.

He turned to catch you staring, eyebrows raised. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

You cringed, feeling ashamed you got caught ogling him and his intriguing, monstrous form. “Sorry, just didn’t… expect that.”

“Never met a cryptid 'til now and you already have expectations?” he joked, leaning on an elbow to look up at you. His already too-short shirt rode up further and you blushed when you noticed his lean, muscular stomach become more exposed, looking away quickly.

“You know what I meant, you jerk,” you chided light-heartedly.

He laughed, the loudest and most genuine one he’d given to you since meeting him. The sound made you feel warm and you weren’t sure why.

“Get some rest, now,” he told you when his laughter subsided.

You stared at him for a moment longer after he turned away from you, curling up around his dog, before you replied, “Goodnight, Leon.” 

And with that, you leaned over to the bedside table and blew out the candle you had brought upstairs, darkness blanketing the room.

You stayed up for a while after that, mind going over the day, everything feeling so surreal from the moment you left the car just that afternoon. 

You could almost laugh to yourself as you drifted off to the sounds of Leon and Wolfie’s deep, even breaths echoing in the room, a soft wind blowing across the window.

Strange fuckin’ day.

+++

Leon was the first to rouse from slumber, unfurling himself from Wolfie and slowly sitting up. 

He was a little stiff from laying in the same position on the hard floor for so long, but otherwise, it had been a good night’s rest.

That was odd, he thought.

He rarely slept at all.

He heard a light snore and turned to find your still-unconscious form wrapped tightly up in his blankets, protecting yourself against the early autumn chill that crept through the room.

Silently, he stood, petting the white dog beside him that snorted in protest at his movements before making his way over to you.

Your hair was splayed out across the pillow, your eyelashes gently kissed your cheeks, and your round face seemed almost cherubic in the morning light that streamed in from the gap of the curtained window. 

Sleeping so peacefully with a monster mere feet from your vulnerable form.

He didn’t know what to make of you.

You had clearly been terrified the moment you saw him, and he could rationalize your initial inability to run as a freeze response, but you had heard a rustle in the foliage and got closer. You had seen glowing eyes and reached out. You had called him a liar when he told you he would eat you.

Did you have any sense of self-preservation?

Apparently not.

And then, despite your discomfort around him, you chatted with him like he was just another stranger passing on the street. And instead of ignoring his… differences… you commented on them. Asked about them as one would ask about the weather.

Well, you were a self-proclaimed paranormal investigator meeting a supposed cryptid, after all. It must have been a strange fascination that was causing you to be so curious instead of off-put.  

But what confused him the most was the fact you had touched him—gently and with ease—like you would a friend and not a literal monster threatening to kill you.

He looked down at his clenched knuckles, recalling the warmth of your palm as it rested upon the back of his hand. He thought about the way you smiled at him, how you bantered with him and teased him.

After so long by himself, he wanted to bask in this human connection he made despite knowing it was temporary. He prayed that after you left, it would tide him over until he was ready to say goodbye to this wretched existence for good.

He knew not to hope you would come back, or that he’d be lucky enough to meet someone else that would be as willing to talk to him instead of running for the hills. 

Besides, as under control as he felt now that he’d had a decade to maneuver in this new body, he wouldn’t want to risk hurting anyone. He had only ever lost control once and it haunted him ever since.

It was his worst fear if he was honest with himself. To lose his mind—his sentience—kept him up at night. Every day, he checked for signs that he might be mentally deteriorating, acting more beast than man. The longer he stayed away from other people, however, the harder it became to recognize what it was to be human in the first place.

All he knew was that he needed to end it before he ever reached that point, going from just threatening to eat trespassers, to ripping them limb from limb the moment he caught them. 

He couldn’t stand the thought of innocent blood on his hands after spending his whole life trying to protect it from being spilled at all.

You let out a sigh in your sleep and his gaze focused on you once more.

Despite how ridiculous you were to him, he was grateful to you for being so kind. Even as a human, he knew that was often hard to come across. And sure, he was technically paying you off to avoid attention, but that didn’t mean you had to be friendly towards him, especially after the ill-advised admittance of his eating habits.

He wondered how he would go about waking you, if he even should. 

Looked like he didn’t have to, though, when your eyes fluttered open and a scream left your lips as soon as you saw him.

He jumped back, holding up his hands in a gesture he hoped would dispel your fear. Wolfie leapt up, staggering with his old joints, before growling and searching for the possible threat in the room, oblivious to the fact it was Leon who frightened you.

It would almost be funny if you didn’t shift across the bed to get away from him. He could hear your heart thrumming behind your ribs like it had when you first met, and his own sank a bit.

He was still a monster, after all.

“It’s just me,” he said in a low, calming voice.

“Jesus, Leon, you scared the shit out of me!” you replied, pressing your hand to your chest. “Were you watching me sleep?!”

“Sorry, I didn’t know how to wake you up. I was trying to avoid scaring you, but that was a wasted effort.”

You let out a breathy chuckle, and he was pleased to hear your pulse rate begin to lower. “Maybe just call my name next time or something.”

He rose a brow at that.

Next time?

No, you must have misspoken.

Clearly unaware of how you vexed him, you moved to the edge of the bed and pulled on your shoes, stretching your arms as you finally stood up. “Well, c’mon, then. I’m starving.”

You pet Wolfie as you passed him by, the dog having calmed down from the excitement moments prior, before opening the door and strolling down the hall. 

Leon just stared after you, his mouth hanging ajar for a moment at your immediate change in demeanor. He still felt guilty that he had frightened you again, though this time completely by accident. It stung a bit, but he reminded himself that you should be afraid of a seven-foot-tall creature standing over you while you slept. 

He shook his head as if to clear it and followed you downstairs.

You had pulled out a cereal bar from your pack, munching away at it as you walked around the bottom floor of the house aimlessly. You turned to him as he made it into the dining room, swallowing a bite before speaking, “Don’t have much décor, I see.”

He shrugged. “There were pictures on the walls when I first settled in, but they were all of the people who died in the village and religious stuff. Felt weird to leave it up, so I put it all in the attic.”

“And you just didn’t bother to add anything else?” you teased.

“The only artwork I might consider using is in the old castle, but I didn’t think the hassle of getting it was worth it.” 

“Wait, there’s a castle and you chose to live here?” you questioned in disbelief.

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Too big. Plus, it’s just easier to hunt on this side of the lake.”

“A man of simple pleasures. I can respect it,” you told him, nodding sagely before you approached an empty shelf. “I take it there isn’t much literature around here, either?”

“Not really. Mostly journals and religious texts. Not exactly my cup of tea.”

“Anything from the cult?” There was an intrigued glimmer in your eye and Leon wondered if he would ever get used to it.

“All of it, actually.” 

“Anything… interesting?” you asked, coming closer to him and clasping your hands together, the empty wrapper of your breakfast forgotten on the dining room table. He reminded himself to tell you to clean it up before you left.

“‘Deranged’ is probably more accurate,” he said with a scoff. “But if you’re really that curious, I can go grab one of them for you. Hope you can read Spanish.” 

Your eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store and he couldn’t help but find it endearing. “Yes, I can read a bit! I tried to learn as much as I could before this trip and I also brought a translation dictionary!”

“Be right back, then.”

He quickly fished Los Illuminados’ text from the attic, returning downstairs to find you brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink. When you traveled back into the dining room, he placed it in your awaiting hands, and you practically squealed as you opened the old, ornate book.

“Wow, it’s beautiful,” you whispered in awe, flipping through the pages. “And look at these illustrations! You mind if I keep this?”

��Be my guest. I have no need for it,” he replied, enjoying the way you pored over the text with visible excitement. You grabbed your translation dictionary from your pack and were about to get to work when Leon cleared his throat.

“Not to ruin your fun but don’t you have to leave soon?” 

Your expression shifted, then, from one of glee to what he could only guess was disappointment. Almost like you didn’t want to leave. There was a spark of something at that, but he didn’t let it ignite.

“Right. My ride should be here soon,” you told him after checking your phone. Despite your words, you didn’t move, and he wondered what you could possibly be thinking in that pretty head of yours.

When you finally dragged your feet to pack your bag, Leon remembered the items he promised you as payment for your silence concerning his existence. He excused himself before heading into the room beside the one you were standing in, reaching into a drawer and pulling out an old ring and a handful of jewels he had collected over the years.

“You forgot something,” he said to you, unfurling his clawed hand to reveal the precious items in his palm.

You grabbed the ring first, twisting it around as you appraised it. “It seems a little early for a proposal, don’t you think, Leon?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, but could feel a faint heat tinge the tip of his now-pointed ears and what remained of his cheeks. “Yeah, you wish.”

You offered an impish smile before taking the gemstones as well and pocketing them. “Well, I do hope these are actually worth something and aren’t just cheap knock-offs.”

“Definitely real, I swear. Those things are antique.”

“They better be, or else I’ll have to come back here and kick your ass.”

He chuckled at the thought. “Easy there, tiger. I’m good on my word.”

You nodded and a quiet fell over the room.

“Well, guess it’s time to go,” you eventually muttered, grabbing your backpack and swinging it onto your shoulders before you headed to the door. You were slow to reach for the handle, seeming almost… reluctant. 

“Why don’t I… How about I walk you? Wouldn’t want you to get lost.” He didn’t know why he offered. If he was honest with himself, it was likely to prolong the last human interaction he’d probably ever have.

And he couldn’t deny he liked your company too.

You beamed at him as if that’s what you wanted him to say all along. “I’d like that, Leon.”

With Wolfie happily trotting behind the two of you, Leon led you into the early afternoon, the bright sun making him wince slightly, as it always did.

“You okay?” you questioned him. He shouldn’t have been surprised by your observation, already proving to him that very little got past you.

“Yeah, just… sensitive to the light, is all,” he replied with a squint of his eyes.

“Really? How come?”

He chuckled. Ever curious, weren’t you? “The Plagas are—were—damaged by light. Or the more exposed ones, I guess."

“Then how are you even handling being outside right now?”

“Not sure. Acclimated, I guess? I couldn’t go out during the day at all when I first turned. Then I just slowly spent more and more time in the sun. It’s… uncomfortable... but it doesn’t feel like I’m burning alive anymore.”

“Jesus,” was all you were apparently able to say, gripping your backpack straps.

You were both quiet for a few minutes, and he was thinking of ways to keep talking, not wanting to end the interaction in awkward silence.

“So I get you have a passion for the supernatural and all, but why come out here on your own? Don’t you have anyone who could come with you?”

You sighed. “My family and friends think I’m wasting my time. I’ve been on investigations with others like me, but I found I preferred to be alone.”

“Not even a boyfriend worried about you, huh?” He knew that was an unnecessary pry, but he couldn’t help but wonder.

“Not at the moment, no.”

He felt a strange sort of relief but refused to inspect it, instead pushing the conversation forward, “You must be some kind of adrenaline junkie, then, to be running around in the middle of nowhere, looking for monsters.”

“Maybe a little.” You shrugged. “You must be, too, considering you were a cop and an agent, right?”

“No, that’s different. I became a cop in order to help people, not that I was much good at it. And I was forced to be an agent to protect someone. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t deny the rush of doing something dangerous, but I never really looked for it. Was just forced to face it. I don’t really understand why you’d risk your life for a hobby.”

“I guess I just want to find the truth about things, no matter what it takes.” He sensed that maybe there was more to it than that as you looked away from him, instead focusing on the path ahead.

“Well, you’re lucky you haven’t gotten hurt yet. You have no idea if you’ll run into a B.O.W. or even just a wild animal that won’t hesitate to tear you to shreds,” he admonished.

“I guess I am lucky,” you agreed, nodding. “Lucky I found a big softie like you instead.” 

He rolled his eyes at that. “I don’t know if you recall, but I told you I would eat you at least twice yesterday.” 

“And yet you didn’t. Interesting.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that, annoyed that you called him on his bluff. But then you looked up at him, radiant smile teasing and eyes bright.

He was surprised when the two of you were already at the lodge, past the village gate, so focused on you that he was mindless to anything else.

You moved to enter the building but halted when he did, turning to face him in confusion.

“This is as far as I go,” he explained, Wolfie sitting politely at his side. “Don’t want to startle whoever is here to get you.” 

“Right, makes sense.”

The two of you stood there silently for a few moments, and you seemed just as unwilling to say goodbye as he was.

“Well… guess I better go,” you finally told him, kicking the dirt with the tip of your shoe.

“Probably a good idea.”

“It’s honestly a shame I have to leave already.”

He raised a brow. “And why is that?”

“Because I’ve enjoyed getting to know you,” you replied softly.  

Leon was taken aback by that, something warm settling inside of him. To say he felt the same was an understatement. He didn’t voice it. In fact, he didn’t voice anything, at a loss.

To dispel the tension, you quickly and teasingly added, “And I didn’t get to explore this place nearly as much as I wanted to.”

“Well, there will always be other places.” He cringed at his own words and how stupid they were.

“There sure are.” You laughed, the sound melodic, and he was reminded of your singing. How your voice alerted him to your presence just yesterday afternoon. It felt like a lifetime since then, and simultaneously like a blink of an eye.

“It was nice to meet you, Leon.” You held out your hand to him, and he realized after a moment of staring at it you meant for him to shake it. It was a far cry from the day before, certainly. 

“You too,” he said, gingerly touching his palm against your own and shaking your hand carefully, enjoying the warmth of it against his always-cool skin.

You released him—far too soon, he felt—and his arm fell lamely at his side.

You pet Wolfie, scratching his ears affectionately as you said goodbye to the old dog, before focusing back on Leon.

You seemed almost somber as you told him earnestly, “I hope the rest of your life is kind to you.” 

He looked over your form, committing everything to memory. The color of your eyes, your round cheeks, your soft curves, the shape of your lips and how they framed your smile. 

The urge to caress your face was a shockingly difficult one to ignore.

With all his mental strength, he managed to refrain, saying instead, “Same for you.”

You nodded once, offering a final wave, and then you were through the door.

Leon stood there for a long time, hearing your footsteps getting more and more distant.

He stayed in place even as he heard you greet your ride.

He stayed until the car pulled away, the sound of it eventually fading completely.

All was quiet once more.

It felt suffocating.

Wolfie nudged Leon’s leg and finally, he moved, begrudgingly turning on his heels and heading back to the house.

He was lost in thought as he arrived, closing himself into the dark once more.

He grabbed the crow that Wolfie had caught the night before, planning on plucking it clean and sharing it with him, until he noticed a folded piece of paper on the kitchen counter.

Curious, he stopped in his tracks, picking it up and gently prying it open with his claws. Inside of it was a small, crude drawing of a rabbit, a short note scrawled underneath that read:

Something to remember me by~

Your lil bunny rabbit

He couldn’t stop the chuckle that left his mouth, echoing in the empty room.

After a moment, he set down the page, sighing deeply—warily.

Leon was alone again.

+++

The rest of your day had passed in a blur, barely able to hold a conversation with the local who picked you up from the village and took you to your hotel room. You paced for a long time once you arrived, eventually ordering takeout to abate your growling stomach but eating it without really tasting it.

Your mind could only focus on Leon.

Maybe you were crazy, but he seemed just as regretful to say goodbye as you had been.

He did say you were the only person he’d spoken to in ten years, so you didn’t want to let yourself hope that perhaps the connection with him you felt you made was genuine. He was just lonely, and you were still a stranger, after all.

You sighed, pulling the golden ring he gave you from your pocket as you sprawled across the bed, holding it up to the light to watch the ruby set into it shimmer. It reminded you of his eyes.

You groaned.

Your flight was tomorrow morning and now you had to make up some lie on your blog that was interesting enough to read without encouraging anyone to seek out the village themselves. 

Tall order.

You tried to focus on what you could potentially say, but all your thoughts led straight back to the strange creature you spent the night with.

He was lonely, yes. But so were you.

You glanced at the time on your phone, knowing you needed to sleep before your flight home.

And then an idea crossed your mind.

This trip was meant exclusively for business, not pleasure, and you realized you hadn’t been on a proper vacation in a long, long time. Your savings were in good shape, your rent was paid for the month, and you worked from home.

You held the ring in your hand, closing your fist around it, the gem decorating it digging into your palm just hard enough to sting.

It was set, you decided.

You were going to stay.

--------------------

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#plaga!leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x reader #plaga!leon kennedy #leon kennedy #resident evil 4 remake #re4r #chubby!reader #half-life

[eyelessfaces]

packing

santiago garcia x reader

summary: you're moving out. santi helps you packing, and it's the perfect occasion to finally talk about everything unsaid between the two of you.

warnings: mentions of sextoys for some reason....... don't look at me like that. sexy times mentionned and implied, the fic fades to smut so it kinda starts but nothing too steamy

tags: f!reader, mutual pinning, friends to lovers

word count: 1.8k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

“Heard you needed help. I’m your man” were Santiago’s words before he winked at you and stepped into your half empty apartment.

You moved out at the beginning of next week, and because the laziness got the best of you you now had to rush to finish packing your stuff. 

You had started when you were determined, all energy gone once your back hurt at the end of your first day of packing, and you hadn’t continued since. And this was your mistake.

You could have been wiser and you could have started packing gradually, a bit every day but no– procrastinating had sounded so much better to your “it’s cool, I still have time” ears. 

You had started panicking when you realized it was Saturday already, so you had called your friend group in hope that they could help you get this covered, except they all happened to be conveniently busy. Except for one of them.

“I heard Santi’s available” was Frankie's casual reply when you called him to ask for his help, and you swore you had heard him smirk over the phone when he said this.

You honestly doubted Frankie, Benny and Will all happened to be busy, and you firmly believed that for a good reason; they had been doing their best to isolate you and Santiago since you had kissed at Benny’s birthday party.

Even though you had tried to resonate with them by telling them that you were both drunk and that this kiss probably didn’t mean much to Santiago, they had been actively keeping on trying to get the two of you to have a conversation about it.

Except as of now, packing was your priority. 

“Thank you for coming to help me. I’ve been procrastinating doing this and I don’t know if I’d be done by tomorrow night doing this all by myself” you sighed, picking up an empty cardboard box and throwing it to Santiago. 

He caught it and pinched a smile.

“No problem hermosa, you know I’m more useful helping you here than watching TV naked on my couch. Where do I start?” he asked, walking through your living room and looking at the boxes you had already packed used to support the TV, since you had already emptied and packed your TV stand.

“Would be nice if you could finish the bookcase next to the couch. You can put the CDs with the books, just name the box with both” you instructed, picking up the marker from the floor and handing it to him.

“Yes ma’am” he smiled taking the marker from your hand in a swift motion, determined to start his job and to do it right. Maybe the other boys not being here would actually profit you and you would be faster with your task, no distractions around.

“You know you’re not getting out of here without explaining why you watch TV naked” you said going back to the kitchen where you had started packing all your cooking tools. It was a kitchen opened on the living room, so you were not far from each other.

He chuckled. “Well because why not” he replied as he sat on the floor to empty the lower part of the bookcase.

“Why” you insisted, placing your cooking tools strategically in the box so everything would fit perfectly.

“You know I’m not the only one who does it. I mean– staying home naked. Frankie does it too. Well not anymore since his daughter was born but he used to do it”

“Bless that kid” you chuckled. “Still doesn’t answer my question” you asked looking back at him.

“It’s comfortable” he shrugged. “Things swaying freely” he said turning to look at you, a smirk on his face.

“Okay I’ll stop asking questions” you laughed shaking your head.

An hour and a half later Santiago had finished packing your living room, leaving only the couch and TV surrounded by cardboard boxes. You were also almost done with the kitchen except for a few cabinets and of course still leaving out the essential: a few forks, knives and spoons, and a few glasses and plates.

“Need help for the kitchen?” he asked, sitting on the counter.

“Yep, I was about to empty my mug cabinets. I have a lot” you nodded. You grabbed another cardboard box and sighed when you looked around but didn’t find what you were looking for. “Fuck can you get me the bubble wrap? I must have left it in my bedroom when I was packing the perfume bottles in my drawers”

“Sure be right back” you thanked him before starting to get the mugs out of the cabinet, placing them on the counter waiting for him to come back to start wrapping them.

Santiago went into your room and searched for the roll. 

Walking towards your bed, he saw something looking like what he was looking for peeking out from under your bed, it had probably rolled and gotten under there accidentally. 

He kneeled down to pick it up, noticing a black plastic box placed under your bed. He chuckled to himself before the pain in his knees reminded him that he couldn’t stay in this position for long, grabbing the bubble wrap roll and standing back up.

“Nice sextoys collection” he threw with a smug smile as he came back to the kitchen, handing you the bubble wrap roll.

You almost dropped the mug between your hands. “Wha– don’t tell me you–”

“No, but now I have the confirmation that it’s really your toy box” he laughed, and even harder when he saw your startled and slightly embarrassed face.

“You want a medal or something” you chuckled, taking the roll from his hands, your own hands not even capable of functioning correctly. You would definitely be losing some mugs after that.

“Hey don’t be embarrassed” he nudged your side. “Ever used them with someone else?” he asked leaning against the counter.

“Jeez Santi” you laughed. You looked at him and rolled your eyes. “Tried to. The guy didn’t want to because he saw it as its enemy. Turns out its enemy did a way better job than him afterwards” you explained wrapping one of your least favorite mug so you wouldn’t regret it if it slipped from your slightly trembling hands. 

“Mh I see” he said reaching to grab one of the mugs to help you wrap them. “You just haven’t tried with the right guy yet” he sighed, turning to look at you.

You focused on arranging the box correctly to avoid his gaze as your cheeks heated at his words, trying to discard the feeling. “Probably” you mumbled. Probably.

—

Santi plopped down on your couch, a low grunt leaving his mouth as he did so.

You wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, exhaling in relief.

You were done. It seemed impossible, but here you were, everything packed.

“Wanna drink something as a reward?” you offered before you could sit down for good.

“Got a beer?” he asked raising his eyebrows.

“Yup” you said turning around to grab them from your refrigerator.

You uncapped them and sat down on your couch next to him, handing him his beer. He clinked his bottleneck against yours and you smiled, taking a sip before letting out another sigh of relief.

“Seriously, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you” you declared smiling at him, and he finished his sip before smiling back at you.

“Eh if I hadn’t helped you who would have?” he rhetorically asked, chuckling.

“Right” you sighed, remembering the sarcastic exclamation point at the end of Benny’s message when he said he couldn’t come, Will’s fake pondering face when he did a quick review of his schedule when you called him on facetime, and of course Frankie suggesting Santi’s presence.

“You know they’re not really busy right” he questioned, turning to you and leaning his arm against the back of your couch. You threw a single nod before taking a sip of your beer. “You know they just want us to figure out what’s going on between us, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You sighed and looked over at him. “I know. I think they made that obvious”

He scratched the light stubble on his chin and put his beer down on the floor before returning to his previous position.

“Then what’s going on between us?” he asked tilting his head, and he smiled when he saw you chuckling. “What? I think we should give them what they want or they’re never gonna stop” he shrugged.

“Okay.” you cleared your throat before going further. “Well, I don’t know what’s going on between us but I liked kissing you” you admitted, immediately taking a sip of your beer after delivering your words. You were almost embarrassed at how fast your heart was beating.

He smugly smiled and looked you up and down.

“As friends?” he asked playfully, throwing his chin at you.

“Dunno, you?” you asked, mirroring his smile, putting your beer down on the floor too. You looked back at him and he shrugged.

“Well all I can tell you is I was drunk but I think I know what I was doing” he said with a single nod, pinching his lips into a small smile. “And I enjoyed it.”

“That’s good to know” you replied playfully, your gaze going back and forth between his lap and his face. “You’d do it again?”

“Do what?” 

“Kiss me, idiot” you chuckled, planting your elbow against the back of the couch.

“Question or order?” he asked rhetorically, a smirk plastered on his face. You playfully hit his arm when you realized you had been tricked, and he nudged your side. “Answer the question”

Your face inched closer to his, and you tilted it slightly before answering. “Order” your voice was barely louder than a whisper. 

His thumb and forefinger grasped your chin after your implied consent, and it took him a very short time to press his lips against yours once he was sure you both wanted it.

He kissed you and he knocked the air out of your lungs, your hands buried in his graying curls and his hands traveling up and down your curves. 

You made out intensely, laying down on your couch, his body hovering over yours as he practically fucked his tongue into your mouth.

“If that wasn’t abundantly clear, not as friends, no” you panted against his slightly swollen lips once you pulled away for air.

“Good. Good choice” he said biting down on his bottom lip, laughing when you yanked his face down to kiss him again. He kneaded one of your breasts while his tongue plunged in your mouth, his thumb brushing against your hard nipple, and you moaned in his mouth as a result.

He pulled away from your mouth, his own shifting towards your ear.

“Hey I thought maybe we could make some use of that box under your bed. It’s not packed yet after all” he whispered, unable to cover the devilish grin on his face or the excitement in his voice. 

And in his pants, too.

—

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triple frontier taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @mystinky-butt @beccabecs521

#santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago garcia fanfiction #santiago garcia fic #santiago garcia fanfic #triple frontier #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters

[martyrmystik]

I think Tumblr needs to know about my dumbass Poppy Playtime AU I literally JUST made today so uhm... Here's the AU I've been hyperfixating on-

More information under the cut!

This is the first half of the Smiling Critters references (I loved making their designs omg)

Basically to summarize why they are a significant part in this AU:

This is an AU where the Smiling Critters survive, using anything and everything they can to continue to do so. It's a small resistance group (hence the AU name, "RESISTANCE") trying to fight against The Prototype! They still have their dynamics and everything else but they have more freedom to express themselves (hence, the clothes and accessories. And how Kickin' Chicken is wearing two bandana's because yes, he is extra.) AFTER the events of The Hour of Joy. By that time they were like what? 1st-2nd graders considering the experiments that were done? Now they are more like teenagers in this AU since I still follow the plot-line of the actual Poppy Playtime story taking place 10 years later-.

As for how the group works, everybody has their own little role and is in charge of something, they aren't made useless as it is a group based off of teamwork and friendship (despite the casualties.) Here's some of the roles they fall into:

(IF I SEE ANYBODY SEXUALIZE THESE CHARACTERS ISTG. THATS ICKY AND GROSS and I will make sure you get smited by lightning, because even if these guys are aged up THEY ARE STILL MINORS!!!)

Kickin Chicken: The vice president if you will, the leaders right hand man. (Because Dogday is the leader.) He's kind of full of himself but the confidence and pep talks help the team keep motivated, even if he is a bit self-centered

Bobby Bearhug: Assistant to Kickin Chicken (although they have a rivalry.) and also the medic. Is also the one who helps Dogday with anything considering in this AU he still has half of him torn off. (More on Dogday in his own section sometime later)

Hoppy Hopscotch: Basically explores the facility in any area at any time to gather new information on ways to try and get out (all of them are actively looking to escape btw!)

Craftycorn: Maps out stuff (maps, plans, other things) using her drawing abilities, although she also acts as the therapist friend because her art is soothing to others.

Bubba Bubbaphant: THE LITERAL. EMBODIMENT. OF. THE NERD EMOJI. He is a actual know-it-all which can come in handy but that makes him seem like a dick sometimes because of his knowledge.

Picky Piggy: I don't really have anything important to add to her, since I want to keep some of her lore a secret [might be revealed through the ask page I just set up for the AU on my page] HOWEVER she is the chef of the group and is literally the only one that can cook, if anybody else tried they'd all get food poisoning LMAO.

Here's some extra things in this AU that won't go in my other posts about this AU (maybe):

(So take notes if you want.)

- Catnap is redeemed, but it takes a VERY long time for him to get out of "old habits" as I'm going to word it. (Without spoiling too much of what I have planned.)

- I don't know what to plan for The Prototype yet but I'm talking with a couple of my mutuals on discord so maybe I'll figure it out eventually

- Dogday can normally stand and do other things because of the belts he has, however he can't put them on for too long (for like at max, more than 4 hours a day.) because they will wear into the plush, and he needs to put the belts on tight or they will come loose. He only uses such method when the group goes to hunt for food or similar activities, otherwise, he just uses a wheelchair when in the groups safe environment (the Playhouse!)

- This is going to be a shock to some people, but there is NO player character in this AU, not only is this a what if the Smiling Critters survived, but it's also a what if the player character never returned to Playtime Co.! This does come with some issues, like on how the asks are going to work, but trust me, I got everything taken care of when it comes to that!

- There also isn't really any shipping in this AU at all, I'm focusing on the story/friendship dynamics more than that, so if somehow you were looking for Dogday X Catnap this is, unfortunately not the place for that.

- This AU also has the personal interpretation of Dogday being part of the experiments some of the orphanage kids faced, as I don't really vibe with the idea that Dogday might be a Playtime Co. worker??? I don't know, I'm sticking with my idea for now but I will be keeping a close eye on canon if anything confirms or denies it, and I may adjust the AU accordingly if that's the case.

- Future posts may or may not contain other Poppy Playtime characters but the main focus is the Smiling Critters and The Prototype.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

References of Dogday and Catnap are already done but I may wait a bit on Tumblr to see how well this AU is being received :)

(I spent 6 hours on all references in total 😭😭😭)

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #chapter 3 poppy playtime #kickinchicken #bobby bearhug #hoppy hopscotch #bubba bubbaphant #craftycorn #picky piggy #dogday #catnap #poppy playtime au #/// time for the personal tags! 🐈‍⬛🎉🎉🎉 #\\\ 🗯 #POPPY PLAYTIME : RESISTANCE AU #POPPY PLT : RESISTANCE AU #MARTYRMYSTIK'S AU'S #MARTYRMYSTIK'S MAIN PROJECTS #CONSISTANTLY UPDATED PROJECTS | MARTYRMYSTIK 🎉 #THIS PROJECT MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS #MAY CONTAIN SENSITIVE CONTENT (IN THE FUTURE) BE WARNED

[elkkiel]

Sorry friends, this is gonna be a long one. I feel like speaking in a space where someone may see and perceive what I'm saying is helpful to personal accountability. Please feel free to skip, it's more of a thought dump than anything (I am midway through writing now and I think I lost the plot a while ago lol)

Topics covered: grind culture, mental health, self-care, and learning when to manually sound the alarm for yourself as an audhd-er in the deep end of life.

Here's some tags that I left on the the grind culture reblog before this. I just wanted to share some thoughts and didn't want them to get lost; I feel like making a proper post really solidifies the situation (sorta like getting those abstract thoughts from your head onto paper, and realizing just how bad it is when it's all laid out before you.) And I want to make a change when I can finally get my head above water.

I think it can be especially difficult for us AuDHDers, since we don't necessarily have alarm bells installed that neurotypicals in similar situations may have but "choose" (consciously or not) to ignore. Things can really spiral into a bad place quickly if you don't have the cues or signs to alert you. We need to be diligent in doing those manual checks ourselves, KNOWING that we have struggles that make life just that much more difficult.

Take inventory of your life. Do you allocate time to self-care activities, and/or are those the right activities for you? Turns out for me that building a complex skin care routine (as suggested by mainstream self-care culture) only stresses me out more. Especially when I never have the energy to do it, making me feel bad when I only manage to do the basics *sometimes* (and the stress acne persists smh my head). My therapist recommended productive activities that involve both current hyperfixes and that ADHD Motor™. I want to learn basic carpentry over the summer, since I love working with my hands! For now, drawing masked men as cats will suffice (though I will not complain about the kittenification of my faves)

Choose a moment to consciously feel how your body is feeling. Check in with yourself! This is important for my alexithymia bitches. Are you more fatigued than usual? Are your muscles tense for some reason? Have you been hungry with no appetite? If you notice anything, let's make some connections—really dig into it. The instance I mentioned in the tags above was a really clear one for me. I took like 12 hours on the IV in the Ivy art instead of coursework, and that weekend I slept almost 22 hours. A few days later, I'm still in a cycle of horrible fatigue and excessive sleep. Connecting the trigger event (taking the time to create "unnecessary" art) to current sensations (extreme fatigue) is giving me insight into how stressed I actually am that I wouldn't have really seen otherwise.

I'm also feeling more and more aware of how activities and things become a bit of a crutch to avoid expending energy on social activities. Idk how many other people deal with this particular problem, but I have almost zero social drive. Like I legitimately don't feel the need to meet people and see friends. Almost 100% of my social needs are covered by talking to my parents, chatting with the girls at work (while at work) and passively absorbing interactions from complete strangers within earshot. It's one of the big things I'm continually documenting for when I can finally afford to get evaluated for autism (babygirl I don't even have enough for the ADHD assessment yet and that's more crucial for disability stuff lol) and it makes life real tough.

Not having the time nor the drive to invest in relationships really stunts you as a person in my experience. I don't know how to actually quantify what makes a friend (e.g. are we friends because we are Tumblr mutuals who haven't had an actual conversation but hype each other up in notes?) and I don't have any time to learn. I can't participate in leisure activities that may take some of the pressure off since I haven't been able to practice initiating interactions. It baffles me how some of the girls at work just casually meet up outside of work, or make plans out of the blue in a conversation (how tf do you gauge when/if to propose something????)

Like, it's bad. I haven't seen my best friend in a year and a half, and even the term "best friend" almost definitely isn't accurate in this scenario anymore. It's just another stressor that could potentially be avoided by lifting one's nose from the grindstone, but it's so intimidating to even try at this point. I don't feel the drive to be friends, but something tells me it's healthier than being alone with my work and thoughts.

Idk I think that's all I have for now. I definitely went on a tangent or two that don't connect back to the original idea so apologies for the letter-based vomit.

ty if you read any of this, if you have any thoughts or input I'm always open for replies or asks. The world is big and fast and horrible and confusing a lot of the time, but I think sharing experiences helps to keep things in perspective.

maybe I'll ask more targeted questions for community input some other time because I'm genuinely curious how to navigate around social deficits (the "who is a Friend and why?" thing especially because I genuinely have zero clue)

anyways have a good day, drink some water, take ur meds, and be kind to yourself

#my head is so foggy from fatigue i would be surprised if this is cobefent #its rant time babey im gonna go order some groceries now ✌️ #elkk.txt

[stackslip]

i do want tumblr to live. it's the last place on the internet that feels like it fits my brain and my levels of communication/socialization. it's a place where lots of people i love connect and where many find mutual aid and active support, it's where i can get genuinely insightful discussions and readings and art. i don't want it gone. it has its massive issues (very few that are genuinely unique to tumblr as a platform, most are general socmed issues and moderation issues that are very similar in other places--the biggest issue i'd argue is users being able to mass report transfem and other marginalized users and get their blogs automatically deleted) but compared to twitter and co and a lot of old forums and the current state of the internet, it *is* a haven. i want tumblr to live. i want it to stay online and functional as long as it can. i've been here for a little less than half my life now, for the vast majority of the website's own lifespan. there's no place like it and there never will be again--it cannot be reproduced in the current circumstances. it will eventually die i know, all socmed will as venture capital realizes these sites aren't profitable (or making astronomical mountains of money) and as fascist governments impose stricter and stricter laws that strip us of privacy and free speech online. for selfish reasons, i'd like it to continue as long as it can. i've been having a lot of issues socializing both online and offline recently, struggling to even step a foot outside without sensory overwhelm or debilitating anxiety that leaves me crawling when i finally come home. and as much as people sometimes joke about this website being a place for weird shut-in freaks, it really is the only place online or offline that meets my social needs as a weird shut-in freak who cannot get a job or finish a degree or even go out to my local group without layers of clothing and noise canceling headphones and only being able to mask a couple of hours at a time. when i was talking to friends on discord last night i said that the day tumblr announces its actual demise i will grieve it like an actual person who's been a core part of my life, because it's the truth. call me a freak or a loser who needs to go outside more or whatever. been here since 2010-2011. it's literally part of my soul at this point. there's no place like it and when it goes there will be no place to replace it either, because the time for these spaces to exist will be gone. i'll hold on to it as long as i can, yknow.

#eli talks

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY V9, Episode 1: Liveblog Thoughts

This is the curse of long hiatuses, isn’t it? Back at the end of V8, I was like “I’m done. I hated the ending, the entire volume felt poorly done and uncomfortable, most of the characters I still care about are either dead or side characters, there’s no reason for me to watch V9, especially if we don’t see Vacuo.” But here I am, dragged back in by the separation of two years. The salt in the wound has stopped stinging quite so bad, and morbid curiosity has taken hold.

Against my own better judgement - pulls out the pirate hat - let’s take a look.

-Opening the volume with the narration from the teaser trailer, a voice we don’t know, is a choice.

-Close up of Blake does absolutely no favors to the models, I’m sorry

- Little would be a lot cuter if they couldn’t talk, but that would be inconvenient

-I know people have mentioned this before about the rain starting exactly when Ruby starts to cry, but it also stops when she stops crying, which is more evidence in the direction of Ruby effecting the weather. I am starting to hedge towards the island being connected to Ruby’s emotional state myself, but that would only be satisfying if the island is of Ruby’s own creation in her head, a delusion she’s made while falling to mentally process the fall. Otherwise, why would this other dimension island be connected to Ruby of all people?

-Blake and Weiss! Acknowledging the weirdness of them finding each doesn’t make the weridness go away, but since it’s whacko world where the laws of space don’t seem to work, I’ll allow it.

-And, uh, the vine scene is utterly pathetic. I get they’re exhausted, they can’t just burn the place down, but seriously? Weiss can create platforms, there’s no need for this reach down from the tree gag, Weiss is not the cheerleader type so that’s just jarring as hell, Weiss can also summon her knight to cut the vines for her or a flying Grimm to get them overhead - there’s a lot of smarter ways to go about this that doesn’t make our heroes look weak. Now, maybe they’re out of Aura still and exhausted from the fall. Okay, that makes sense - but it would also make sense for them to rest and regain their Aura and Semblances before attempting to retrieve Gambel Shroud and find the others.

-Laying on the “what is your purpose” theming very heavy

- “I don’t know if anyone else fell” I mean, a bunch of civilians got knocked in by Cinder, but I suppose they could be dead.

-Should have paid more attention in that hand-to-hand arc, Ruby. This creature though actually looks really cool, I do like its design and the twitching effect. Kind of a Grimm, but not. But... it wasn’t doing anything to them. Why immediately attack?

-And Yang’s here! That was fast. And apparently she fought the thing off and then decided to track it down to finish the fight? Okay... seems like a waste of energy if it had already left, but whatever. In character enough.

-”Damn it. You weren’t supposed to be here.” Okay, that’s a good line. I really like that and the delivery. 

-”if you didn’t think we’d come after you” - you didn’t. You got thrown in, Ruby.

-”What is that?” The skull beast thing was already talking, Yang, why does this surprise you?

-Cat pounce. Thought they’d go for a kiss, but that probably wouldn’t jive right with the pacing of the episode. We should get a kiss this volume, but I can see them waiting for either a moment when the two are alone, or a moment where they can build it up without immediately cutting to exposition.

-Ruby black out. I’m surprised her eyes didn’t activate, an instinctual lashing out like they did with Pyrrha. Ah well.

- Y: ”How are you feeling” R: Dodge roll!

- “Maybe we’re dead... I thought I was.” I mean, that would be more interesting, fighting their way outta hell, but unlikely.

- “I think we’re in a fairy tale” Not mutually exclusive, but okay. I’m going to assume that all these realms (that are so neatly sectioned off) are going to be Remnant fairy tale settings that Blake’s read over the years, which would indicate there is a way out.

-OP - chaotic, doing the progression of character thing V7 did and really hammering in the “Ruby’s really not feeling it”. Jaune is in the OP, but I believe only two or three times, and never with t!RWBY, which could either be a good or bad sign. None of the girls saw him fall, either, so they’re not expecting to look for him. Also, no hint of Vacuo anywhere in the OP, so odds are we’re staying here for the entire volume, or at least until the last episode where we’ll probably get a stinger for V10.

-New girl - Alice? I’m not sure why they bothered to hide her features for so long only to reveal them at the end. There’s also a shadow of a boy with glasses behind her in her portrait, so either another faller or maybe a denizen?

-Credits - “Jabberwalker” NOOOOOOOO, my snake dragon monstrosity jabberwocky T-T But if that poem’s on the table, I expect we may see some juju birds and bandersnatches (assuming that we haven’t already with the spoonbill and the thing that took Yang’s arm)

Overall? Not the worst episode of RWBY, but it just felt very... unpolished. The background animations have gotten a bit better, less unfinished (though still jarring in their vibrancy though at least that’s on purpose), but some of the dialogue and pacing feels like it was a first draft that never got refined. Like “Weiss and Blake find Gambel Shroud in vines that trap them as they try to get it out” was written, but wasn’t expanded upon in the individual actions, so you get some gestures at getting it out without any smarter actions that require effort in thought, and some of the emotional shifts felt jarring. For example, like the script said “Turn to Weiss, Weiss is crying”, and in the actual episode they click the emotion into place instead of giving Weiss a few moments to express that slip into despair. Just a few extra moments of Weiss’s face crumbling, her voice cracking, would have sold the emotion more, and there’s a couple moments like this, particularly when they go for humor. Speaking of, the comedy attempts were also not appreciated. Levity isn’t really something the show needs at this moment, and none of the jokes land. I don’t find Ruby screaming at a mouse or mice reacting in terror to Blake to be funny, and I can see the “Oh my God, this is so weird and strange” reactions getting old if it carries on for too long. I haven’t found RWBY funny for a few years now, though, so it’s not really surprising. 

Score that’s mostly arbitrary and will probably forget to keep doing: 5.5/10. Perfectly functional, not a pain to watch or boring, but lacking anything that really makes me enjoy it enough to rewatch or recommend. 0.5 points for Yang’s “You weren’t supposed to be here” line alone.

#rwby #rwde #for safety's sake #rwby9 #rwbyv9 #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers #spoilers

[journey-to-the-attic]

If it isn’t too bothersome to ask, how does Zhao eventually get closer with each potential love interest?

His silly shenanigans always put a smile on my face

in a vacuum outside of the whole canon plotline of the exchange year—

with the brothers, since they all live in the same house, it’d probably be zhao just getting used to them over time that stops him from being as afraid of them, at which point the befriending and subsequent catching of feelings starts to happen. some brothers become sort-of friends more quickly since they’re good with ik (mammon, beel, asmo), or because ik likes them, even if they’re not so good with her (levi, satan) 

and of course with diavolo (as we’ve said before), he’s intrigued by zhao and so establishes himself as an amicable party early on, and quickly notes that zhao has caught his interest and starts getting to know him better. simeon and solomon are kind of similar to diavolo in that they remove themselves as being threats in zhao’s eyes early on, but they’re more passive than active amicable parties, if you know what i mean??

in solomon’s case, he’d make himself a friend of zhao’s pretty quickly, but since they lack a lot of common ground, they don’t have much to talk about for a while. they still spend time around each other, though, and solomon takes a kind of comfort in those hang-outs, even if they’re awkward and mostly mundane. also, ik likes solomon’s magic tricks, so zhao appreciates it when he entertains her with them

in simeon’s case, he’s not so much zhao’s friend as he is ik’s friend for a while - since wherever zhao is, ik usually is too, and simeon finds that he really likes doting on/playing with her, which means he doesn’t often take the time to actually talk to zhao himself for long. he does do it eventually, though, and he finds that there’s something weirdly charming about how awkwardly pleasant the guy is (plus he appreciates that zhao’s so nice to luke)

barb would be fairly distant from zhao for a time, but since his boss is after zhao a lot of the time, barb isn’t usually far behind, so they often chat a little bit in the spaces between - these little interactions build up, to the point where barb starts considering zhao more of a genuine friend than an acquaintance, and he soon starts finding himself looking for more opportunities to spend time together

i don’t have a concrete plotline for how exactly things go for every guy, but here are a few more notes for the ones that i do have ideas for!

satan + lucifer + diavolo - zhao worries about how whether he can really be a suitable father and raise ik on his own, satan has internal struggles coming from his origin and how he was raised, lucifer has his own issues from having been the primary caretaker of his family since like forever, diavolo has a not-great relationship with his own father; there’s definitely some mutual help and communication to be had here

mammon - zhao is used to frugality and struggles allowing himself or ik any luxuries even when they can afford them, while mammon overspends; they kind of help each other come to a compromise between the two. feel like zhao being a hard worker has a good influence on mammon, while mammon kind of forces zhao into being kinder to himself in general

beel - both are used to placing themselves at the centre of their past troubles - beel blames himself for not saving lilith, and while zhao certainly does shoulder some blame in the whole situation with ik’s mother, he really needs to stop stewing in it so much; they both kind of help kickstart each other into getting out of this mindset

solomon - eventually he decides to confide in zhao about how distanced he feels from humanity, and how nice it feels to just kind of hang out with him, even if it’s super mundane; this kinda hits zhao hard, and he makes a point to talk to solomon more after that - solomon notices this, which makes him feel weirdly fuzzy inside...

asmo - taking his entire conflict with helene as it happens in jtta, it holds some kind of similarities with zhao and ik’s mother, where they both hold blame in the situation, but need to let go and bring closure to the whole thing; asmo by talking it out with helene, zhao by accepting that he did what he could to make things right

after all the getting closer stuff, zhao no longer sees everyone as an active danger, but it still takes a while for him to stop perceiving being flirted with as a threat - which means he gets spooked quite a bit for a while after this, because once the love interests start catching feelings, the flirting gets turned up to like, 1000000000000

#answering asks #anon asks #dad in the devildom #i don't think you can really pick out any one moment where anyone catches feelings but you can pinpoint when they realised that they had #the order in which they did goes like this: #diavolo -> mammon -> simeon -> solomon -> lucifer -> satan -> asmo -> levi -> beel l = belphie -> barbatos #beel = belphie because they both realise it at the same time while talking to each other #satan realised very soon after lucifer because he noticed a change in his behaviour which prompted him to evaluate his own #as for the order in which they actually start trying to do something about it #diavolo -> asmo -> simeon -> satan -> solomon -> mammon -> belphie -> beel -> lucifer -> barbatos -> levi #sorry it took a hot sec to reply to this! i was going to give a more extended answer but then i figured it'd take too long #plus i didn't have enough ideas to really talk about each character individually

[strangeswift]

hi! i'm the person who sent the first 'active choice' anon but i actually didn't send the second one (though i do agree with that person completely - i think it would show huge character growth for mike to actively decide to be with will). i also sent you this ask abt the monologue a few days ago btw!!

i just wanted to say that the ask reminded me of a lot of gay!mike talking points about el which say something about how mike actively choosing will over el would insinuate that there's something inherently unlovable about el and i....really do not vibe with that take.

(i don't have a problem with gay!mike, i just feel like this one specific idea is kind of a shitty thing to say and is a tad misogynistic)

imo mike and el breaking up and mike choosing to be with will does not mean that el isn't lovable or that there's something 'wrong' with her as a person, it just means that she and mike are not compatible as a couple, and this is true on both ends - mike is not a good bf to her and el isn't a good gf to him. neither one of them is a bad person, they just don't work romantically (similar to jncy/stncy where steve is a fantastic guy but not the right fit for nancy at all).

also, for someone like el who is still figuring out her identity as a person, breaking up with someone at 14 is not the end of the world, especially since the narrative seems to imply that independence is what she needs and where she's headed in the future. in fact, i think she will be the one to point out that mike isn't loving her the way that she wants to be loved and they will mutually break up once mike finds out the truth about the painting. i don't think there's going to be any real bad blood there bc imo el already accepted that mike doesn't make her feel loved in 4x03. she'll be sad about the breakup ofc, but it's not going to be crushing for her and she'll get to focus on building her platonic relationships with hopper, the byers family, lucas & dustin, max when she wakes up, and (hopefully) mike too.

sorry haha that turned into a ramble but my point is just that bi mike and byler endgame isn't inherently harmful to el, especially if the mlvn breakup takes place before the timeskip and mike and will get together after the timeskip. of course if they go with gay mike, that would be cool too, especially bc of what you said here:

This is because I think the idea of Mike choosing Will doesn't necessarily have to manifest in Mike choosing Will over El, which is what you're talking about here.

this is a good point and i enjoy this interpretation. ig i just prefer what that anon said - i think it makes more narrative sense and would feel more satisfying for both mike and will if mike goes out of his way to want to be with will romantically despite also liking girls. i think it would be a nice full-circle moment for will bc we know that will felt like a mistake for liking boys, so seeing the boy will loves choose to be with him even if he has other options would be a perfect ending.

Omg I even thought to myself.. can I assume this is the same anon? And then I was like mmm yep I think so. And I was WRONG! For shame. So sorry anon. But at least you agree with them that makes me feel better.

Anway.

I realize that a breakup wouldn't be the end of the world for El and that Byler endgame isn't inherently harmful to her. But I do think the breakup is probably gonna suck initially. It might even suck a lot. For a while. That's a real possibility. And I just don't want that. That's all I can really say to that point, this all really just depends on what's going on in El's head, which we don't know either.

I definitely don't think that Mike choosing Will over El insinuates that El is unlovable. I hope I haven't said anything that has come off that way because I don't think that at all. I just think that rejection will always make a person doubt themselves, that's just human nature.

But anyway, let's expand on that thought: Mike choosing Will over El doesn't insinuate that El is unlovable.

By the same token, I don't think that Will should need Mike to choose him to prove to him that he is loveable!

*mic drop*

(Just kidding, I'm gonna ramble more. But that's a good point, no?)

They're all loveable. They're all worthy of love. Full stop. Mike Wheeler's affections don't determine Will or El's worth.

I realize we're talking in the sense of Will simply feeling unworthy and the idea of Mike choosing him alleviating that self doubt. But Will shouldn’t rely on Mike loving him in order to feel worthy of love. Not to say that he shouldn't accept Mike's love, I'm just saying he needs to work on himself as well. (As does Mike! For the same reasons!)

So I'm not in love with the idea that Mike choosing Will gives Will the self worth he needs and therefore that's what makes the most sense narratively. Will shouldn't need Mike. He loves Mike, and that's beautiful. He shouldn't need him, not in a literal sense. It's a flaw just as Mike's need to be needed is a flaw. Both are flaws which are hurting them, and they need to be addressed in ways other than just dating each other. Like. In therapy.

Lastly, as I said, whether Mike is bi or gay, choosing to be with Will is still choosing to be with Will. Which is meaningful. It's very meaningful. I just don't think Will's arc should be relying on that specific sentiment.

#asks #byler #abby rambles

[magratpudifoot]

Behind the cut, something I realized about Spike in Season 4 that I feel silly for not grokking before.

"There's always been great discord between them. And yet you say that the vampire went to the demon's aid. The two of them were working as a team?...Extraordinarily odd. As a rule, demons have no empathy for any of the species other than their own."

Giles, you know I adore you, but you Watchers are not very observant.

To wit:

“Funny hearing a Fyarl demon say 'serviceable.' Had a couple of them working for me once. They're more like 'Like to crush. Crush now?' Strong though. You won't meet a jar you can't open for the rest of your life."

Giles has almost certainly spent more time socializing with vampires than any other Watcher in recent memory, and yet he is still mentally stuck in the Academy. I know Spike has just described a transactional relationship rather than any mutual friendship he had with these Fyarl demons, but how is it such an astounding leap that a demon and a vampire might have teamed up against the Slayer? You were a demon who teamed up with a vampire, Giles.

Which leads me to something else that has stood out to me during this most recent trip through BtVS:

Buffy: You want me to stop working? Spike: Let's see — do I want you to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.

He isn't talking about vampires.

He doesn't have any vampire friends at this point.

This is his bar. He's known this place at least since “What's My Line?” This is the only scene we get of him actually patronizing the place, but he's comfortable enough that we can reasonably infer he does open mic night here at least once a month.

Demon: What did you expect, Spike, a welcome party? Word's out you've been making war on the demon world. Spike: War? Demon: With the Slayer. You kill other demons, and the rest of us don't hold with that. Still, if I see you around again, I'll be inclined break that code. Do you understand?

Maybe these particular demons aren't Spike's best friends (we don't have Clem yet, and what a shame that is), but they consider him a demon, not a half-breed, and they respect his presence in their community enough not to kill him on sight after hearing a fairly incendiary rumor. We don't even have to look to the broader demon biodiversity of Los Angles to see that whatever Giles has been taught about demon/vampire relations is some fundamentalist dogma, and at least these two areas of California are reformist. Vampires and demons do work together, and they can be friends, whether they have souls or not.

We don't see much of Spike in Season 4 in the moments he isn't in direct contact with either the Initiative or the Scoobies, other than this one scene at Willy's. I hadn't paid much mind before to this brief moment of Spike-as-punching-bag, but this time through it suddenly struck me as absolutely crucial to his arc following from his capture by the Initiative through to getting his soul. Because we know that Spike is loyal, and he cares deeply about those around him. He has a lot of off-screen time that we don't get any account of, we just know that he can't be up to his usual pastimes of shagging his girlfriend (he doesn't have one here) and slaughtering innocents (due to chippage). And he's likely to spend a reasonable amount of time alone, but he's also "people who bloody well need people," as he learns of himself in Brian Lynch's marvelous comics.

"Do I want you to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought."

The biggest thing holding Spike back from committing to being a Scooby as soon as he realizes he can fight demons isn't that he doesn't want to be good. It isn't that most of the Scoobies are actively hostile toward him. It isn't that the writers preferred playing with the Spike-as-impotent-villain jokes more than they liked consistent characterization.

He doesn't want to betray his friends.

#william the bloody idiot #no one asked you ms p #I am so very out of practice writing anything longer than a couple of sentences I HOPE THIS IS COHERENT #my inexplicable vampire fascination

[ilikemilkbread]

i was thinking for a long while about whether there would be any purpose to me making a "goodbye" post here, considering i barely talk to anyone here anymore nor have i really had anyone i used to talk to reach out to me

but. i kinda want to. just to use tumblr to talk about myself for one last time. and say that final goodbye. except not final lmao

its been 6 months since the last time i reblogged a post. which is weird to think about. its been longer since i was actually active here. its been longer since i last talked to a mutual. oops. i still definitely value the people ive met here, but... i just stopped using this site. its hard to talk to people if you arent using the same platforms for communication

to a big block of text that may actually comment on things:

im doing a lot better now.

across a lot of my time on tumblr, i think ive come across as an often vitriolic person. i most likely was a vitriolic person. i spent ALL of my teenage years on this site, and my teenage years were some of my outright worst. i used tumblr as an escape from that, but i allowed my emotions to spill across. i talked negatively about things often (because i couldnt vent to people in real life). i often outright criticised things i knew my mutuals liked. i would be dismissive and negative about topics for the sole reason of hoping that it would be enough to make a mutual unfollow me. i gained some sort of sick validation from that feeling. its weird to think about. its weird to know how much i cared about these interactions with people i barely knew

lately, ive moved away from online spaces. a bit. ive probably spent way too much of my time on youtube watching study content and fucking discrete mathematics guides lmao. but ive done less doom scrolling. i dont really know what shows are popular anymore, and im fine with that

the biggest change that helped me, i think, was finding other queer people. my university has a queer collective. ive never been more blessed to know such people

i also met my beautiful boyfriend there.

university has treated me kindly. now that were back in-person, ive been thriving. my current units are... something, but i find computer science as a whole thrilling. ive had the opportunity to interview for some related roles (mainly lvl 1 helpdesk lmao) and its been an overall fascinating experience (yes im still a first year shhhh)

with the assistance of a friend, ive found a nearby clinic that does hrt currently accepting new patients. if you know the state of trans healthcare within australia, finding a place accepting new patients is HARD. i am endlessly grateful to my friend for informing me of the clinics status. ideally, ill be starting hrt soon

but. mostly, ive come so much further than i thought i ever could. im out in a small community, and im going by my chosen name in many circles. ive cut my hair off. i have a boyfriend who is part of the queer community himself (though cis) who accepts me. i NEVER thought i would have this opportunity pre-transition.

and my queer friends i have found in life. there is beauty in community. i care so much about all of them. i didnt realise how lonely and isolated i was, as a trans person not knowing any other queer people.

my life has changed for the better. this post exists solely so i can ramble about that.

im probably not going to delete my tumblr. its still too useful for when i need to find certain things from my past. but i wont post regularly ever again.

maybe ill do another long ramble-post if something important happens in the future.

[vampireoutofbusiness]

“What’d you just call her?”

NAVIGATION

Pairing: Peter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Not NSWF although if your sibling sees you reading it they might blackmail you/make fun of you, the dirty talk just escalated throughout lmao, peter being extremely embarrassed and cute

Synopsis: You've always cared for Peter but you never thought he would call you 'mom' by accident. What happens next leads to a fun confession.

Want to request something? Click Here

*Do not repost my work, reblogs are appreciated*

Everyone on the team knew how much you cared about Peter and it was very mutual. Being a teenage superhero leads to a part of you always being worried about him. He didn’t want you to, of course, but it was hard not to. Peter wasn’t very good at taking care of himself.

You made sure he was getting enough sleep, asking him when he went to bed last night and checking if he had dark under eyes. In that case, you made him stay home from a patrol for one night and sleep. Or, you encouraged frequent naps.

If you noticed he hadn’t eaten for a while, you subtly asked him if he wanted to go get food. Or you would make him something to eat. With his metabolism and activity it was very important he had something to fuel him.

It was easy for you to tell when he was about to break, even if it was hours prior, you knew. So when you felt the breaking point getting close, you took him someplace away from the others, usually one of your rooms in the compound, and let him cry and mumble until he fell asleep.

And sometimes, okay all of the time, he needed someone to hold him and tell him everything was going to be fine. You welcomed him into your bed in the middle of the night when he woke up from a nightmare.

Overall, you took care of him and he loved you for it.

“Do you think you could go any faster?” You asked, resting your elbows on the table and place your head in your hands.

“This is all about strategy Y/n,” Tony told you while continuing to eye his cards.

“It’s Uno!”

“Maybe Stark is right, you’re not doing too hot right now,” Nat eyed your double-digit amount of cards face down on the table.

“And yet I am still doing better than Peter and Loki,” you smirked at the two sitting to your right with copious amounts of Uno cards.

It was normal for things to get a little heated on game night. Even if not everyone could attend, there was always bickering about who was playing correctly, if the winner cheated, etc.

The last time you thought Loki cheated at ‘battle ship’, the two of you refused to leave the table until he admitted he “cheated” or you admitted you were wrong. Peter had to carry you back to your room while Thor explained battleship etiquette to his brother…

“I think we should play something else,” Peter told the group and sighed.

“One more round, I’ve got this in the bag,” Tony put his card down.

It was a reverse, sending the next turn to you.

Turns continued until it was down to you and Tony with one card each. The next person to put down their card would be the winner of this game night.

You placed down your ‘blue 3’ and threw your arms in the air. Ha. Ha. Ha.

“Good game,” Tony congratulated, pretending not to be bothered.

“Oh I owned you and you know it!” You laughed before getting out of your seat.

“She did make a comeback Stark,” Nat told him before winking at you.

“As the winner, I don’t mind getting anyone something to drink.”

You got everyone’s orders, headed over to the kitchen, and carried them back to the table where the others discussed what to play next.

“Thanks, mom,” Peter said as you set down his root beer on the table. “We should play Clue—”

“What did you just call her?” Tony tilted his head and made eye contact with you.

Your eyes grew wide and you looked over to Peter. Did you hear him right? Sure, you did a lot for him but you didn’t think of him as a child.

“I- nothing…I didn’t call her any- anything,” Peter cleared his throat, cheeks to ears turning bright red.

Loki burst out laughing before settling on a mischievous smirk.

“I think you just called your girlfriend mom,” Nat took a sip of the water you brought her. “Kinky.”

“Is this a frequent occurrence?” Loki asked Peter who wished he could shrivel up right about now.

“No.”

“No!”

Both you and Peter told the others together.

“I didn’t- it just kind of slipped out and- I wouldn’t sleep with my mom!”

“You two have done it?” Tony looked to you since Peter had sunk into his chair for the millionth time.

Yes. Yes, you and Peter had done it but this is not how you thought people would find out. You weren’t sure what the alternative would be but now you never would. After dating for 6 months, of course, you did, you were young and horny.

“Can we just forget about it?” You crossed your arms and sunk in your chair like your boyfriend.

“This is hilarious and I will never let Peter live it down.” Tony chuckled at your’s and Peter’s current state of embarrassment.

You actually did find it a little funny, considering Peter got so flustered about it.

———————————————————————————————

Peter sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to show him the “new outfit” you had gotten.

When you walked out in a black lingerie set, Peter’s jaw fell to the floor. It hugged every curve just right. Showed off everything he loved about your body (which was quite literally everything, he thinks you’re a goddess).

“You look,” he stood up and walked over to you, his hands immediately going to your waist, “amazing”.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and tilted your head.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You cupped his face, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you always had kissing down, it was just so natural to have your lips on Peter Parker’s. He squeezed your waist when you slipped your hand under his shirt. You pulled back and put your finger to his lips when he tried to chase yours.

“Mommy’s gonna go lock the door,” your voice was low, trying to hold back the laugh building in your throat.

Peter’s eyes grew wide and he nodded eagerly as you backed away.

“Peter?” You continued your task of locking the door but turned to face him. “You know I was joking, right?”

His cheeks turned crimson and he looked at the floor.

“Yeah uh- of course, that’d be weird if you weren’t.”

“Oh,” you turned the lock and walked back to him. “So you don’t like it when I tell you what to do?”

“No, I love it when you do that…” His voice was quiet but you heard him.

You brought your index finger to his chin and brought his eyes to yours.

“So you want me to…” he squinted his eyes to avoid your intimidating gaze, “to call you- ya know…”

“Say it, Parker.”

“Mommy.” To say Peter was embarrassed would be an understatement.

“Sounds sexy.” You smirked at your boyfriend.

“Heh,” Peter gave you a shy smile, “yep I suppose.”

“Why don’t you start by taking off your shirt.”

GO READ PART TWO

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #marvel #avengers #peter benjamin #peter parker fic #mcu #spiderman

[sixthwater]

🎟️Synastry and: the Friends IV🎟️

I deadass forgot my childhood friend and the fact that I finally got her chart let's ignore that though

Note: This is using and based off of personal experience, I will be using specific people and referencing them throughout the post

Me & ✈️'s placements

☉: Cancer / Pisces ☽: Taurus / Libra ☿: Cancer / Pisces ♀: Cancer / Aquarius ♂: Virgo / Leo

I really can't think of any media to relate back to us, but shuri & t'challa are the closest thing really because we're both smart-asses we love venusian moons!!!!!!

💺Overlays

Mutual Sun, Mercury & Venus in 1st House

Now, using placidus this is cutting it close because ✈️ is right on the edge of my 2nd house but I'm going to interpret it as 1st because I get more of those vibes. We both tend to support the other in whatever path we want to take, or lift the other up when we're down. I was not the popular kid in school, while she was. Our parents befriended each other since we lived across the street and that's how we met and we vibed pretty well because I knew how to leave her alone and she knew how to be 'careful' with me. So whenever she noticed me pulling away, being awkward, or heading off because of this reason (too much crowding), she would go out of her way to make sure I was comfortable and I knew she wasn't bothered by me being there and if anyone had a problem then they had a problem with her too--praising or uplifting qualities that she liked in me that she said was hard to find in others, and that I shouldn't change to make others feel comfortable. Which helped me be more confident within myself and honest, and found out that her friends (which eventually became mine) actually found that side of me funny and liked it. Meanwhile, there were dreams and passions of hers that she wanted to pursue that people usually clowned her for and she usually didn't bring them up too much unless she played along with them. However I usually just let her talk and pushed her to keep pursuing it if it made her happy and joined in the activities while sometimes joking around on what she's going to put on her resume when she applies for stuff.

*It's important to note that her Saturn is also placed within my first house as well, meaning that I can sometimes feel like I have to 'reach her level' at times (popularity and social battery). This cools down the blind worship (by paramore) and can help how I'm viewing things so I'm not tilting too far in either way.

**Special note to remember our Descendants. Hers being Capricorn and mine being Leo. She was known to always have people around her, and get along with many groups, and always have people fawning over her. Meanwhile, I had my own group of friends but I wasn't really a socialite, I could be seen as shy until you get to know me, and you could say that I took school kind of seriously minus the depression. With some generational planets being placed in her 7th, venusian moon, and an Aquarius venus, it makes sense for her to like my company. For me, I only having my rising, and it highly depends on the rest of the chart if I like Leo influenced people, so very lucky for us.

Me: Moon in 11th / ✈️: Moon in 8th

Best-friends!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm going to be honest, I don't necessarily feel the descriptor depth of the 8th overlay here for us, but then again people are very weird about the 8th house. Honestly I just appreciate this overlay for our relationship because it creates a very relaxed friend vibe? Truly we have only texted each other for holidays, or when she planned a trip when I was stuck in a shitty job and couldn't see her, but we both know if we ever needed the other for something then it's a no brainer and we would do it. There's no like, 'I'd DIE for you' feeling here but there's a bond that's been made that's not going to be broken over something small lmao. I know there's some thoughts, feelings, and incidents that other people definitely don't know about that she's trusted me with, and I've spent hours over at her house just doing absolutely nothing and never really felt bored.

Me: Mars in 4th / ✈️: Mars in 7th

Very interesting overlay. As you've read a dozen times now: we are childhood friends. So I've interacted with a good amount of her family, and when we were young adults her aunt had told me about the influence I had over a relative of hers. I also was basically adopted by their family and practically always forced to come to family events because I was family after a certain point. Interestingly enough, I'm not a very pro-active person when it comes to other people's business, unless it's like, a concern lmao. The basis here is that depending on the aspects or the native's chart themselves, if you're the Mars person and it's a 4th overlay, you can either positively impact the 4th house's family relations or really mess it up and I'm sure you'll know Immediately which one it is. As for the 7th overlay, it kinda was the same thing? No one ever second-guessed that she would be invited to anything I was hosting that would need invitation, before I even got around to figuring out how I wanted to go about it, it was just 'yeah she's coming'. It's also to be noted that she's usually the one that is visually seen as dominant from an outside perspective (we're both very chill but if we had to pick one, it'd be her), but that's about it for the 7th house.....I really don't pick up on 7th house overlays for a bitch that has a lot of them

🛰️Aspects

OKAY THE FUN PART. We don't have a lot to scream about, which can attribute to why our relationship is so detached, but what is interesting is that we have a lot of creative aspects at tight degrees:

Me > ✈️

Sun Biquintile Mercury Moon Quintile Mercury Jupiter Quintile Chiron Jupiter Sextile Moon Chiron Biquintile Venus

etcetc, the rest of our aspects are about 4-5 degrees or more, or other minor aspects. Obviously we take the major aspects above these minor ones, but I just thought that, with two Venusian moons who want to follow a creative/healing path for their careers, to have these aspects between them? That's really interesting that's madly wild and I want to explore that.

I've also stated earlier before about our descendants and how we gravitated towards each other but it helps that with our natal chart and how they're working separately, it helps us navigate the waters when dealing with each other. With how I talked about my brother, we both know how to not be clingy with the other, while also showing care for each other at the same time. Sometimes less is more for certain placements or combinations.

With her Cancer rising and Pisces mercury, she can draw people in because she seems very soft and fragile, however her Aquarius venus, Leo Mars, and Cap DSC has a very big bite once she lets you in. Her Libra moon does a good job of balancing appearance and snark too, so people tend to forget that her water placements are still there and she can still get hurt. Meanwhile my Aquarius rising, Virgo mars and 6th stellium can be off putting because I don't necessarily let people in very easily and am Radiating nervous, tense energy. Plus my Saturn in 1st combined with all of that makes it seem like I'm put together and I can handle myself and I'm highly critical. Then you get underneath that and find all of my Cancer placements, Taurus moon, plus my Leo DSC, meaning that I'm just a big baby who wants attention. So with our charts already dealing with similar energies and being able to tell what the other person needs, and when, it really helps us be able to navigate our friendship a lot easier than other relationships that, on paper, should be working out. And That's Why Natal Charts Are Still Important In Synastry.

We don't really keep in contact too much, but when we do it's like we never stopped texting each other and she's still one of the first people that come to mind when I list off some of the closest people to me. ~Just Aquarius placement things~

#astrology #platonic synastry #synastry #mygalaxypost #am I about to drop like ten of these? yeah #I'm hyper focusing right now don't look at me

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

#genderfluidlucifer #transmisogyny tw #terfs tw #ask to tag #txt #long post #ok to rb