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donaidk · 3 years

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Marcus Armstrong - Almost Home I.

In advance: This is getting a Part 2 for sure. I don’t want to leave it here, but at the same time I felt like it would be really long if I left it in one piece. Turns out I have a whole lot of inspiration for Marcus fics right now. 😂 I also wanna let everyone, who’s waiting for their request, know that uni is starting next week for me. It means less free time, but I will make sure to finish every one of them in the next week or so, and then focus on all the series I started. There’s gonna be slower updates to them, but I’ll make sore to have one or two per week at least. Hopefully they won’t try to kill us in the starting weeks and I will finish up the Lando one so I could start posting that every week and just add some parts from the others to the queue 😊

Thank you Anon for requesting this one though, and sorry for the wait. Hope you will enjoy it and as it’s almost the next day here, have a really happy start to your Friday everyone 🧡

Kind of Taglist: @mickschumcher, @art-gp

Title Song | Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

With the Australian GP knocking on the door Melbourne filled up with tourists and fans even more than usual. The first time I got to witness it in 2017 was actually scary in a way for someone who didn’t know the city well yet. Getting from one part of the city to another was a hard task already, and all the shouting and crazy fans weren’t of much help when I tried to get some usable info out of them so I could finally get to my destination and get off the streets. It almost held me back from choosing Melbourne’s university, but I had to remind myself that it was just once a year and I shouldn't give up my plans because of it. Melbourne was beautiful and their schools were highly rated, giving me everything for a stable future. Luckily I was never disappointed by my choices as it was easy to get used to the life here and I even found some new friends who helped me every time I felt homesick. It wasn’t the worst usually, as I was truly content with how my life was going, but sometimes it just hit me out of nowhere and in those moments they were always there for me.

It was now the third year when we lived through the race weekend, meaning we finally had a working schedule with which we still followed our usual plans but stayed out of the bigger crowds. Although we were in the middle of the semester we always found time to enjoy the still warm weather and spend most of our free time outside. Usually our choice was the beach for the afternoons as even though it was packed until noon, the tourists never stayed for long. We usually arrived in the late afternoon and stayed well after the sun went down, and the temperature went down a little finally. The water usually stayed comfortable until later in the evening making it bearable for almost a whole 24 hours if you weren’t squeamish. Even if you were after spending a few weeks at the beach, everyone got used to it.

As soon as everyone finished with their lectures we got our things together and took the 5 minutes walk down to the beach. We had a favourite spot which was luckily never taken when we got down there. For a few minutes we just sat down, talking about our weeks. I shared a dorm room with two other girls, but we had a few friends who had their own apartments or lived with their family a bit farther away from our university. We usually had one or two days every week to catch up with them as in between lectures we were either too tired or didn’t have the time to do so. But most of the afternoons were ours fully and we used it the best we could to relax but still use that time to make memories for the few years we’re spending together. We could say it’s gonna stay the same after we graduate but everyone knew we would move to different countries as soon as we weren’t connected to Australia. Even I planned to go home, although I enjoyed living here and getting to be independent without my family behind my back.

“ Are you coming? ” One of the girls asked me, as they were already walking down to the water, while I was still standing around our towels with my phone in my hand. I was in the middle debating which sunset photo I should post from my gallery, but her voice made me look up.

“ Just a second. I’ll catch up. ” I smiled at her before looking back down at my screen. In the end my finger finally tapped the posting button and I pushed it aside while I got the sundress off that was on over my bikini.

Right before I would have ran after the girls, the device was back in my hands so I could check that the picture uploaded without a problem. A smile got on my face when I saw a reaction from one of my family members but as soon as it showed the whole list of the people who looked at my story, it faded away. For the past few months whenever I posted something he was always there in the first few seconds or at least minutes. I couldn’t understand what changed that he showed up in my life again, but I didn't really want to give him space in my thoughts either. It has been almost 4 years since we last talked and could call each other best friends, but I wasn’t about to take the first step and message him after he forgot about me until now. I just dropped my phone back into my bag, closing it and then caught up with my friends so they could make me forget about him again.

We spent quite some time in the water, swimming a few laps back and forth before just standing around and enjoying the last rays of sunshine while we chatted away. My thoughts were already in a different direction thanks to all the different topics that came up between us. Sometimes it was harder to make me forget time and time again, but turns out today I only needed some distraction and everything was set for an enjoyable night. With the sun completely off the sky the temperature dropped quickly and it was getting a bit chilly for my liking in just a few minutes. When it was truly uncomfortable I gave up and walked back to the shore, sitting down on my own blanket and draping my towel around my shoulders. It immediately brought enough warmth over my body that I stopped shivering and could wait for them until they would get cold too. Until then I just went onto my phone to go through some posts of my friends. Sometimes I looked up to check on them just so they wouldn’t leave me out of something. One of those times I saw a person coming my way and although I didn’t mind too much attention to it, when he continued and there was no one else in my close proximity I felt like he might be coming to me. In the end I was right as he turned right towards me and then stopped just a few steps away from our blankets.

“ Never thought you would exchange our lovely and perfect red stars for ugly white ones. ” He spoke up and I could recognise the voice even though his face was almost unseeable thanks to him standing with his back towards the moon. My jaw dropped immediately and I felt like I grew roots into the ground as I couldn’t move my body. “ If you want me to fuck off, just tell me. It’s okay. I just thought we could maybe talk, and from the pictures I saw that you’re here. Hoped you didn’t go home yet so I could catch you and... ” He started rambling but I was quick to finally push myself up and hug him immediately. I always imagined our reunion with me being angry at him, but somehow I couldn’t get myself to feel that way now that he was standing right in front of me.

“ You idiot. ” I told him not leaving any space for questions and I could feel as he finally relaxed and hugged me back. “ The biggest in the whole world. ” I added with a sigh, closing my eyes as my brain started functioning again and I had an urge to kick his shin at least.

“ I can live with that. ” Marcus let out a laugh and I could feel as my heart jumped a little at the sound. It was something that always reminded me of our home and spending every possible second together. “ I’m sorry for disappearing. ” He let out a sigh, letting go of me only when we realised my wet bathing suit soaked his shirt, although even he didn’t care about it for too long.

“ What are you doing here? I thought F2 wasn't coming here. ” I asked him confused, knowing that we wouldn’t be in this situation if he traveled here for one of the races in the past two years. “ Not like I’m complaining, but I can hardly believe my own eyes and senses. ” I shook my head a little before looking up at him again. He changed, quite a bit since we last met and even though I saw pictures of him it was different in a face-to-face situation.

“ Ferrari invited a few of us so we could gather some experience. The speed I accepted the offer with might have raised some eyebrows. ” Marcus hid his face in his palm, making me chuckle as I could see the situation unfold in front of my eyes like I was there. “ Thought I would DM you and ask if you wanted to meet up maybe. But I realized it would be better offline. ” I had to roll my eyes at his first idea although I knew he wasn’t lying and it for sure went through his brain as a real possibility.

“ You’re lucky you didn’t. I would have blocked you forever I think. My plan was connecting my fist with your face if we ever meet again, right until you showed up here. ” I shook my head with a smile, as I wasn’t proud of what I wanted to do to him. “ I was really angry when you just stopped talking to me. I tried so hard to reach you, but it felt like you didn’t even exist anymore even though they were talking about you almost every week. ” I sighed, sitting back down and leaving enough space for him too.

“ Would have been deserved actually. ” His fingers scratched at the nape of his neck and I could see the tint of purple traveling up his neck. I watched him as he sat down, pulling his legs up and resting his arms onto them. “ I really am sorry. For a part everything got busy with all the training, races and studying, but at the same time I know damn well a message here and there should have been possible. I messed up, everything. ” His eyes shined even in the minimal light of the moon, and I could get myself to look away. Even feeling the burning stares on my back from my friends didn’t get me to turn around.

“ I won’t say that it’s okay, but I accept your apology. How could I not. ” I let out a breath that I realized was still stuck in me since the initial surprise took over my body. “ It feels like we didn’t even skip over like 3 years of each other’s life. Only difference is that you’re finally taller than me, but the baby face’s still there. ” My hand went up to his cheek to pat it gently like my grandma did for him all the time when he came over for lunch. He always hated it but knew that it was a gesture of love from her and a way to show Marcus that she considered him part of our family.

“ Yeah, I guess it’s going to stay forever. ” Marcus huffed, moving his head back a little to avoid my attack, although he failed miserably. “ I almost forgot, congrats for uni. I remember how hard you were studying to get in. Everyone home was ecstatic when I told them about it. ” His hand slapped his forehead, making me laugh with his expression at the slight stinging he caused himself.

“ Thank you, but it’s nothing compared to your second place last year. ” I shrugged a little but as soon as his lips pulled into a slight smirk my eyes rolled on their own. “ Surprise, surprise, I followed your career. Just as much as you followed my life for the past few months. ” I poked him in the ribs with my finger, making him wince for a second before we both started laughing at the little sound he made.

“ Fair. I still hate how Instagram shows who opened your stories. ” He shook his head a little and both of our heads turned towards the water when we realized the background chatting was getting closer and closer to where we were sitting. They were just a few meters away when my eyes landed on their figures and I sensed when Marcus stood up from next to me, making me push myself up too.

I didn’t feel too anxious about him meeting my other friends, although I knew what this meant for my evening at the dorm with them. They would have an immense amount of questions both about him and us, even though I already mentioned him when we were bringing up our past. A few of them even knew about my past feelings about him and how him reappearing on my socials played with my emotions, but they only saw a few photos of him. This was another level and I knew he would be the topic for at least the next week between us, for one reason or another. Depends on how we get on from this point and if we manage to keep in contact when they have to fly away again.

“ Oh, I knew it wasn’t just my imagination. I told you someone was coming here. ” My roommate spoke up as soon as they got close enough to make us out from the darkness. “ You’re Marcus, right? ” She stepped right in front of him, reaching her hand out while introducing herself. I always admired her boldness even in front of strangers.

“ Yes, although I didn’t know so many people knew me from here. ” Marcus let out an uneasy chuckle, looking at me a bit concerned. I just shook my head dismissively, almost telling him that it was just a ‘Girl group’ thing. Relief washed over me though that I didn’t share a lot about him, behind his back.

I watched from the sideline as everyone introduced themselves to him and for a second it felt domestic as all of them shot me a concerned glance towards me. It felt like they would pounce at him if they saw that I was uncomfortable in his presence. While it made me feel loved in a way, I also didn’t want them to really chip on the situation. It was something that better dealt with in private as I felt like we had to talk lots of things through to get back to the friendship we left behind years ago. This wasn’t the setting for a conversation like that.

“ We should probably get home before it gets really late. School won’t wait in the morning. ” I spoke up before any of them could start questioning him. We would never be able to get going then. “ Maybe we can catch up sometime before the race? I’m sure you will have enough to do during the weekend. ” I turned back towards Marcus who looked just as relieved as I did seconds ago.

“ Yeah, that would be better. Maybe lunch, or a coffee in the afternoon? Whenever you’re free of course. ” He nodded a little, still glancing at the girls who were either packing up or staring him down behind me.

“ I’m up for either of those. Surprise me. ” I grinned at him, feeling the pull on my arm when everyone was ready. “ Is your number the same? ” I asked him, already taking a step back, but waiting for his answers.

“ Yes. Never changed. ” Marcus nodded again, a little smile playing on his lips at the idea that we’re going to meet up again probably. At least I hoped so. Why else would he stalk me down and come up to me for a chat?

“ I’m gonna text you in the morning when’s my last lecture. We can meet up after that. ” I told them, before turning around with one last wave and catching up to my group. I could only hope that they would at least let me sleep before the questions start pouring out of them all at once.

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missskzbiased · 3 years

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I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (8)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader X Han X OC

WC: ~ 5K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?)

Notes: I’m posting earlier because I won’t be able to post it at midnight. Next week the update will be just like usual.

I want to say that we’re getting closer to the chap 11, the last one I have written, and if when I post it I don’t have the other ones written yet, the update won’t have a schedule anymore since I don’t want to rush writing [Also I’m blocked to this fic. But I think I might be getting new ideas to the chap 12, so let’s stay hopeful]

Updates: I’ll update it once a week [Tuesdays] because I still have to write the chapters to come and review the ones I already wrote

/////

He was absolutely everywhere this week.

Even though you studied on the same Campus for a few years now, you never ran into Hyunjin so many times as you did this past week. You knew it wasn’t like he was stalking you, so you assumed maybe you just didn’t pay attention to his presence, or maybe he avoided you before? It could be even related to the hot dog stand… Maybe it had changed his opinion about the other stands on the Campus?

Whichever was the reason for you to bump into him all the week, the fact that neither of these days you guys fought for real was impressive by itself. You even were getting along with each other. When would you imagine that you would hang out with Hyunjin peacefully one day? Never. You crossed your legs, waiting for him to knock on your door. Paris walked around the place, grabbing things she thought were important to go to Han’s match.

As you watched her going around, you recalled your strangely friendly week.

Monday

There was something about Mondays that just didn’t click.

You grunted, rolling your eyes as you spotted the queue, the only thing in your way to get the holy drink that allowed you to function on Monday mornings: Coffee. You checked your phone, sighing as you realized that there was no way in hell you would get your coffee and be on time for your classes. You clicked your tongue, annoyed, spinning on your heels to make your way to the closest vending machine.

The universe must be a man or it wouldn’t be a dick to you every morning.

The greatest way to begin your day could only be buying a cheap and utterly disgusting coffee just so you could arrive on time for your classes. Sometimes you wished your Professors would give you some more credit. You were sacrificing your own happiness for them, just so they could fill your desk ─to not say another word─ with assignments to do.

You strode, checking the time phone’s clock a few times, bumping in some people in the way while letting a bunch of ‘Sorry’ and ‘My bad’ slip through your lips. You skipped some steps, going up the stairs as quickly as you could and finally getting to your destination: The vending machines. You waited behind two girls who seemed to think about what they were going to get, deciding to check your messages for the time being.

“Did you hear about it?” the blond one whispered, not paying attention to you but looking to her sides, checking to see if anyone was hearing. Well, hello to you too. The brunette leaned her way, cupping her ear so she could listen to the gossip on first hand “They’re dating” She whispered not as discretely as she thought, making the brunette gasp.

Blondie nodded as if it was something really impressing and matter-of-factly, and apparently, it really was since Brunette seemed shocked, covering her mouth with her hand. She decided to add a “No way” that made Blondie hum, nodding once again as they exchanged a knowing look. You waited for them to finally choose something from the machine but, of course, they couldn’t do this, gushing about whatever they were saying in a way that you couldn’t really make sense of their words.

“Excuse me? Are you going to buy something?” You decided to ask, arching your brow and crossing your arms, kinda done with them. Why the hell take a line to gossip when they could just stand anywhere else as they talked about it? Blondie turned to you, an obnoxious expression on her face, ready to be an asshole.

As soon as she met your eyes, though, she paled; features blanking and eyes averting from yours immediately. Just as suspiciously, Brunette shrieked, looking at you with wide eyes and pursing her lips before averting her eyes from yours to meet her friend’s.

Okay, something was definitely weird here.

And you were smart enough to assume they were talking about you.

“So?” You pressed but they didn’t say anything, nudging each other with their elbows and snapping you some embarrassed looks before connecting their eyes. Blondie cleared her throat, opening her mouth to say something that never came. She gasped, looking past you, chirping at her friend, and you frowned, turning back to see what was the commotion about.

“Morning, girls” Hyunjin smirked, stopping right behind you and greeting them with a nod “Y/N” He added later, a hint of amusement under his tone. You nodded back at him, scanning his face. He gave the girls a dimpled smile, eyes scrunching and glinting friendly at them, not a note of dark circles or grumpiness in any corner… Okay, how the hell he did that on a Monday morning?

The girls turned around to the machine, finally choosing something and hurrying to pick it up, rushing to get away from you but throwing looks over their shoulders. You narrowed your eyes, furrowing your brows in deep thought as you approached the machine, selecting the only coffee you could take from there and inserting your money in the hole.

“Did you hear something weird today?” You asked casually, waiting for the machine to drop your coffee so you could pick it up. Hyunjin shrugged, thoughtfully sticking his lower lip out, seeming to think about your question. He shook his head, denying, and you sighed, turning back to pick up your coffee.

That wasn’t there.

You whined, spotting your drink stuck on the machine, throwing your head back and groaning, totally done with the day. Hyunjin chuckled, peeking over your shoulder to understand what was happening before breaking out in a fit of giggles, trying to muffle them with his hand, looking away. You grimaced at him, kicking the machine lightly to see if it could help somehow, and obviously hurting your foot in the process, which made him laugh more, twittering.

“Hey!” You grumbled, looking at him warily. You checked your phone again. Great, just five minutes to be officially late for your classes! You rested your forehead on the glass, bumping it softly twice before sighing, ready to forfeit. He seemed to take pity on you, tapping your shoulder so you would look at him.

“Here, let me help you” He offered, pushing you lightly so you would get out of his way, and giving two hard hits at the side of the machine, followed by three slaps and one kick. You looked at him impressed, waiting for the coffee to fall. He blocked your view with his back, and waited a bit, looking inside the machine before repeating his previous actions “Well, it helps on movies” He pointed out, still not looking at you, and you cackled up.

As soon as you heard the engine’s working, coiling inside the machine, and the soft thud made way to your ears, you gasped, laughing dying in your throat. He looked smugly at you, picking up the bottle and handing it to you, his smirk almost too cocky to handle. You rolled your eyes, taking it from his hands, preparing to thank him when you noticed it.

The same bottle stuck there, looking at you.

You looked at the bottle in your hands before giving the other bottle another look, trailing your eyes to Hyunjin slowly. He smiled mischievously now, and you soon realized what he had just done. You hurried to open your bag, searching for your wallet just to realize you forgot it at the dorm, letting another groan leave your lips, tired of this day already. You opened your mouth to protest but he raised his hand, waving it dismissively.

“That’s my surrender gift” He smiled at you, and you sighed before checking your phone once again.

“I’ll pay you back” You promised, turning around to rush to your classroom.

“Oh, can I know how you’ll do it?” He asked suggestively, raising his voice so you could hear him. You rolled your eyes, although he didn’t see it, before shooting him your middle finger.

“Fuck off” You shouted back, and you shook your head in amusement as you heard him chortle at your snap.

Tuesday

You pinched the bridge of your nose, letting a sigh fall from your lips.

It would be impossible not to be aware of all the looks people shot your way and the whispering following every step you took on the halls. You hoisted your bag over your shoulder, lowering your head and fixing your gaze on the floor as you strode quickly, sensing Paris following right behind you.

“What the hell is happening?” She mused, heading to your usual sit, as soon as you got to the classroom, throwing her bag on the desk as she sat down. You followed her, looking at her in clear defeat before resting your bag beside hers, sighing as you took your seat.

“I don’t have any idea” You admitted, looking around the room, noticing a few heads snapping away, pretending not to watch you both like a hawk “I heard some girls talking about someone dating yesterday… I guess they’re talking about me and Hyunjin?” You guessed, shrugging “They sure acted strange when he showed up” You added, pensive.

“You? Dating Hyunjin?” Paris asked surprised, brows shooting up and an amused smile spreading through her face “Why?” She chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief, eyes wandering to the door to meet an amused Hyunjin coming in. He walked as if he owned the place, looking to each classmate in the front and giving them a silent greeting before he got next to both of you.

“Have you heard the news?” He asked, chuckling, before pulling the chair to sit down, the scrapping sound making you cringe “We’re dating” He stated, eyes holding such amusement that they almost disappeared as he grinned.

“Oh? So that’s really it?” You hummed, nodding in understanding “Why does everybody think we’re dating?” You asked curiously and he shot you a surprised look, head tilting back slightly and brows arching up as he blinked once, totally dumbfounded.

“What?” His tone confused you, voice faltering as it mixed with giggles, eyes looking at you with awe.

“What?” You asked sternly, frowning at him, trying to find some hint on his amused features that explained why he found it so funny. You leaned forward on your desk to take a better look at him, and Paris leaned back, interested in what was unraveling in front of her, eyes darting to both of you expectantly.

“Well- No, I mean…” He leaned forward, mimicking you, his amused feature giving way to confused one “I heard about me and Paris” He stated, and this time you were the one who got dumbfounded “Are we disappointed here?” He teased, smirking at you suggestively, which you promptly ignored.

“Oh” You blurted, surprised, blinking a few times and nodding in understanding. You cleared your throat, fixing yourself on your seat, settling against the backrest “Paris, hm?” You nodded again, hand rising slowly to your chin, cupping it as your index finger rested on your lips “So why the hell are people talking behind my back?” You mused out loud, frowning, eyes focused on the empty whiteboard.

“You should be used to it by now” He mocked, and you glanced at him in contempt, rolling your eyes before quirking your lips down, shaking your head in disbelief. Paris chuckled, looking at both of you amused, crossing her arms while she watched your interaction as if it was her favorite movie, making you throw her a narrowed look.

“Ha-Ha, you’re so funny” You sneered, eyes wandering back to him. He chortled, his smirk growing to a grin.

“Was that why you fell for me?” You let your head fall back, groaning at his sickening tone. This time Paris burst out laughing, hiding her face behind her hands as she tried to control herself, pinching her nose right after and giving up, letting a satisfied sigh through her lips as she shook her head in amusement.

“Not at this level of friendship yet” You warned him jokingly, watching as Mr.Lee finally arrived, smiling at everyone and waving, greeting you all. He snorted, nodding in agreement as he fixed his attention to the Professor.

It was just like any other day.

Professor Lee resumed his previous classes, going on and on about human emotions and how each one of us can have an impact on one another. As usual, you noted everything down, occasionally looking at him, pencil tapping your lips as you thought about what he just said, and scribing down your own observations on the notebook. Paris and Hyunjin once in a while voiced their thoughts to Mr.Lee, and usually, you would follow them but this time something different happened.

You agreed with Hyunjin.

You raised your brows when you opened your mouth and he interrupted you, not noticing that you wanted to add something to the discussion, and said exactly the same thing you were going to say. You chuckled, which didn’t go unnoticed by either your friends or Mr.Lee, who promptly smiled at you, gesturing your way.

“Do you have something to say, Ms.Y/N?” He asked calmly, interested in your reaction “I must say I was kinda disappointed you didn’t try to discuss anything today” He smiled fondly, crossing his arms and leaning back on the board, waiting for a heated debate as usual.

“Actually, Professor…” You laughed, a soft bark that made him look at you in wonder “I’m with Hyunjin on this one” You admitted. Professor Lee looked at you in genuine surprise, mouth agape for a moment before he chortled, nodding in acknowledgment, eyes glinting in amusement. You got a glimpse of Hyunjin’s head snapping your way, utterly surprised by your statement while Paris hid her mouth, smiling knowingly.

“I never thought this day would come but I guess getting to know each other helps the relationship” He joked, waving dismissively before returning to his speech. You tried to keep your attention on your notes but Paris nudging you with her elbow and Hyunjin smirking smugly didn’t help much, so you eyed them impatiently, dropping your pencil to the paper.

“What?” You hissed, rolling your eyes, expecting their teasing.

“Are you trying to steal my man?” Paris asked in a feigned outraged tone, voice low to not be caught by the Professor, making Hyunjin snort, lowering his head to the desk, body trembling as he tried to muffle his laugh. You smirked, shaking your head in amusement as you picked up your pencil again, holding your laugh.

“Yeah, totally” You agreed, laughing through your nose, rolling your eyes playfully. Hyunjin lifted his torso, resting his elbow on the desk and cupping his cheek as he looked at you suggestively, a grin playing on his lips.

“I have to let you know that I’m faithful to my girlfriend” He joked, hand resting on Paris’ shoulder to claim her as his fake girlfriend. Paris grimaced, shaking her shoulder so he would drop his hand, which he did promptly. You darted your eyes between them, lacing her shoulders and bringing her closer to you so the situation could be less awkward, flashing him a mocking smile.

“Oh, you sure are” You taunted “You’re even buying me stuff behind her back” You joked, and he rolled his eyes.

“Please, it was just a coffee” He defended himself, and Paris giggled, turning her head to him but before she could say something he added “If it’s all it takes for you to fall for me I’ll fill you with coffees” He flirted jokingly, making you roll your eyes and scoff while Paris chuckled at you. Your chat was cut down by a warning glare from Mr.Lee, and the three of you pursed your lips, going back to pay attention to the classes.

Wednesday

You sat down, watching as Chan looked through the menu even though he always ordered the same stuff over and over again. You figured he just did it to tease you at this point, knowing you felt shy to blurt the order out since he was the one who was paying. You crossed your legs underneath the table, hands caressing the silky tablecloth, feeling its texture as you wondered if they really needed to make such high-quality stuff like that just so kids would spill all their sauce on it.

“If all Mr.Lee’s classes are teaching me anything, I’d say you need someone to hook up or something” Hyunjin teased you, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair, not giving a shit about behaving like a rich kid “Not even the poor table can escape now” He gesture to your hands and you stopped straightening the fabric for a moment, hands still on the table.

“Aren’t you too interested in my love life lately?” You arched your brow, looking at him smugly “I thought you only cared about your beloved girlfriend” You added, flashing Paris a smile, one that she promptly returned before giving him a teasing look.

“He has been too interested” She agreed, leaning forwards, eyes focused on him expectantly, “I think we’ll have to break up, sweetheart” She pouted, feigning disappointment as she gave him puppy eyes that made him scoff.

Chan frowned, raising his eyes from the menu.

“That’s right, I’ve been hearing this shit around” He joined, wavering his eyes between Hyunjin and Paris “Are you guys dating or something?” He asked curiously, making the three of you laugh. Who would have thought you would be laughing along with Hyunjin after all those years? Chan raised his brows, judging all of you, but he didn’t return his look at the menu, waiting for some explanation.

“I don’t know why the fuck people think we’re dating” Hyunjin answered him, shrugging as he looked at Paris in deep thought “I mean… I heard something about Friday’s party but I don’t know what made people think I’m into her” He mused.

“Oh, thank you!” She mocked, grinning at him in feigned pain, hand going to her chest “It’s nice to know I’m not worthy” She joked, and Hyunjin rolled his eyes at her.

“That’s not what I meant, okay?” He sighed “I mean that we didn’t even talk! I just drove you guys there and took you home… I mean, Y/N was together and nobody is saying that we’re doing a threesome” He reasoned.

“People know we don’t get along” You reminded him.

“Oh, so you’re not against threesomes?” He smiled knowingly, blinking at you a few times in mock innocence. You rolled your eyes, looking at Chan before pointing at his friend.

“Please, control your friend” Chan chuckled at you but didn’t say anything, resuming his studies at the menu “Can’t you interact like a normal human being, dude? You’re such a flirt!” You complained.

“I’m not flirting” He scoffed, resting his face in his hand as he put his elbow on the table “You would know if was flirting with you” He added, giving you an obnoxious smile.

“Well, I can’t remember a thing about Friday’s party” Paris mimicked Hyunjin’s position, twisting her head at you as she did, ignoring him completely “Are you guys sure that nothing happened?” She asked, eyes fixing on you for a few moments before fixing her gaze on Hyunjin.

You snapped your eyes at him, worry painting down your face as you expected him to not speak a thing about her slip up about Han. You held your breath in, eyes glued to Hyunjin’s mouth, attentive for any trying to mention Paris’ crush or anything similar to this. Hyunjin opened his mouth, unaware of your concerns.

“Well, I carried you?” He shrugged, and you sighed relieved, feeling your body relaxing slowly “Then you said some interesting things…” He teased, and you didn’t even think twice before your leg uncrossed itself and jerked his way, kicking him under the table “Ouch!” He snapped his head up, startled, hands going to cupping his knee as his face twisted in pain.

“Sorry, It was for Chan” You smiled apologetically, glancing at your friend that suddenly raised his head from the menu again, frowning at you in confusion “Let’s choose something quickly, I’m hungry” You changed the subject, fixing your gaze now on Chan, not missing the way Hyunjin rubbed his legs, pouting at you.

“Wait… What interesting things?” Paris asked, not buying your attempt to distract her. You darted your eyes to Hyunjin, and this time he seemed to notice your worries, snorting before sending you a look to calm you down.

“You said you loved me” He explained, sustaining your gaze for few seconds before looking at Paris, letting you know that it was all he was going to say. You sighed again, moving your eyes to Chan, who studied you silently.

“I was thinking of getting something different today” He explained himself, lowering the menu to the table, showing his whole face to you “To celebrate your new… Friendship or something?” He eyed Hyunjin in doubt, wondering if he could call both of you friends, and you chuckled at him.

“Celebrate our new something sounds nice” You admitted, “So that’s why you’re looking at the options like your life depends on it?” He smiled sheepishly and you let a wholeheartedly laugh out, getting Hyunjin and Paris’ attention.

“You’re so cute together” Paris voiced her thoughts, smiling fondly at you two, which made both of you roll your eyes and sigh.

“Will you ever get tired of this?” Chan asked displeased, looking at Paris as if she had one brain cell struggling to survive “We’re just friends” He added, handing the menu to you, giving up on choosing something new “Just pick up whatever you want, I can’t decide on anything” You took the menu, furrowing your brows as you looked at the options.

“I’m not saying you guys should date! I’m saying you’re cute friends” Paris defended herself, leaning to your side, to look at the menu with you, grimacing just like you when you saw the prices “Holy shit, is that how much you pay every time we come here?” She raised her eyes, surprised.

“They will try to choose the cheapest” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, taking the menu from your hands “It doesn’t even matter what we choose because they’ll like it… They can eat anything, I swear to you” He took a glance at the menu, humming when he found something that seemed to please him, raising his hand so he could order.

“You’re not so picky yourself’ You taunted “Weren’t you the one who loved the hot dog stand?” You smiled victoriously but he scoffed, crossing his arms when he saw the waiter coming in your way.

“When did I ever say that?” He acted dumb, raising his brows in feigned confusion. You rolled your eyes, waiting for him to order the food, speaking those strange French words that you would never try to pronounce. The waiter noted everything down, smiling politely and going away, as Hyunjin returned his gaze at you.

“You called it good” You reminded him “Actually! You called it really good” You emphasized, crossing your arms to copy him, both of you looking at each other mockingly.

“I’m sure I called it fine” He retorted.

“I call you a liar” You scoffed in disbelief “You ate it like a child!” You accused, and this time he laughed at you, a teasing grin spreading on his face.

“I call you delusional” He mocked “I’d never eat a stand hot dog like a child nor say it’s good” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Really good” You corrected.

“Really good” He agreed, smirking.

“Chan, you ate those! Wouldn’t you call it really good? Isn’t he being an ass?” You whined, nudging Chan under the table. He just rested his hand on his other one, watching both of you silently.

“You just called me an ass?” Hyunjin asked amused “She called me an ass! Won’t you do something?” He nudged Chan, joining you in disturbing him.

“Yes, I will call it not my problem” He grimaced, a half-heart grin on his face. You laughed, nudging Hyunjin this time, getting a knowing smirk from him. He leaned on Chan, resting his elbow on his shoulder and tilting his head.

“Weren’t you the one who was so concerned about all our arguments?” He teased “I thought you wanted to be our dad or something” He added, making Chan roll his eyes again, sighing.

“Now you’ll mock me for making you being friends” He whined, turning his head to Hyunjin and looking him in the eyes “You totally liked that hot dog, that shit is amazing” He finally stated, and you high-fived Paris, proud of your favorite stand being recognized.

“Well, I’m glad you like my choices, Daddy” You laughed, and this time Chan snorted, shaking Hyunjin’s arm off of him and leaning back on his chair.

“I’d be even happier if you choose not to argue about useless things and bringing me in” He gave you a fake smile, although you could see his eyes glinting in amusement.

“I guess you’ll have to love me with all my flaws” You joked, making him chortle, nodding fondly at you.

“Yeah, I guess I will” He gave in, smiling.

Thursday

Your week seemed to have at least 30 days inside it.

That was how much work you had to do since Monday. You felt relieved as you finally finished your part of Mr.Lee’s project while you were working at the Library today, writing all the discussions you had with Paris through the week and all the points you and Hyunjin had gathered until now. Today, you just needed to take a break now that you finished everything you had to do for the day.

As you approached the Hot Dog Stand, happy to see that this time it was way less crowded ─ Just a few people hanging around there─, you frowned at a tall figure looking around the options displayed, seeming really lost even though you only saw his back. You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement as you finally got to the stand, not even sparing him a glance.

“Make it two, Mister” You asked, delighted as you felt him flinch beside you. You glanced at him, a knowing smirk on your lips, as you silently showed off to him, leaning against the stand and tilting your head to the side “Look who is here” You taunted, getting off on how he shrunk, clearly embarrassed.

“Will I hear the end of it?” He whined, and you laughed at him, shrugging.

“Who knows?” You grinned, turning your back to the stand and crossing your arms, leaning on the stool there “I thought it wasn’t fancy enough for your rich ass” You teased him, and this time he snorted, shrugging back to you.

“You got me, I really loved it” He admitted “I was just teasing you yesterday… That’s what friends do, right?” He risked, and you smiled at him, this time no teasing on your face.

“Maybe a little bit too soon?” You said playfully, getting a light kick on your foot as an answer “You can just order a ten when you come here by yourself” You instructed him, and his eyes lit up immediately, a bright smile making way to his lips.

“Oh, thanks! I was going to ask for a usual but then I was like” He chortled before continuing, making you laugh “I just came here once the man won’t even remember me” He laughed at himself, leaning on the stool next to yours.

You fell into silence.

It wasn’t really an awkward silence but it wasn’t completely comfortable either. You glanced at each other once in a while, wondering if you should try to make some conversation up but letting it go, waiting for your order to be ready. As soon as the employee called you, giving the orders, you gave him enough money to pay for the both of you, and Hyunjin frowned at you.

“I will pay mine” He said but you nudged him with your foot as you fixed your food to take a bite.

“It’s a payback for the coffee” You stated, chewing your hot dog. He looked at you uncertainly, taking a bite of his own, and you rolled your eyes at him “I can pay for two hot dogs, Hyunjin” You chuckled. He waved his hands effusively, widening his eyes, and shaking his head eagerly; clearly nervous with how you took his hesitance.

“No! That’s not it!” He reassured, swallowing down his food, almost choking on it ”I just… I don’t know, it’s strange to be treated like this” He shrugged “I’m not used to it” He admitted, and you nodded, imagining that being rich had made him pay for a lot of things for his dates.

Not that it was a date.

“Oh! Are you really going to Han’s match tomorrow?” You asked curiously, suddenly remembering their bickering from the last week. He nodded while taking another bite at his food, stocking it on his cheeks and cupping his mouth to answer you.

“Yes, Paris is really excited I’m going with you guys… I guess she’s happy seeing us getting closer” He declared, shrugging “Or maybe she’s really into me and just blurted out his name for no reason” He joked, and you laughed along with him.

“No way” You shook your head, disagreeing with him “She didn’t even let you touch her shoulder and she let Han throw his arm around her… She totally likes him” You stated, and he hummed, pondering.

“Or maybe she’s just shy and doesn’t know how to take my touches” He suggested, and you rolled your eyes.

“Anyway, so you’re coming with us” You brought back the subject not so subtly, making him grin, wiggling his brows.

“Are we jealous?” He teased, making you scoff.

“Yeah, I’m even turning green” You extended your arm for him to see it, and he burst out laughing “It may also be because you make me sick” You said playfully, and he pushed you lightly, still laughing.

“Hey! You’re mean” He whined, and this time you smiled at him, amused.

Indeed a strange amicable week with your ex-nemesis.

////

Tagging: @thatrandomoneinthecorner

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an0nymousghost · 3 years

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simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring.

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient.

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays.

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save.

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet.

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them.

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds.

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah.

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no.

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think!

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes.

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives.

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are:

paisley and alari started dating during this

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators.

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff.

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip.

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves.

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do.

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

#replies #replying to MYSELF

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crackinglamb · 3 years

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Fantasy Magical Screwup? 🤣 I think I know what this is, but I'm not 100% sure. *bonk* 💕

*bonk*

(I just had to read the whole thing again, because I honestly forgot where I was going with it, it's been three years.)

So, take your average post modern/maybe post apocalyptic dystopia and add sudden, inexplicable fairytale magic. Our heroine is a nurse in a public clinic, who woke up with the ability to see through subatomic spaces from the corner of her eye. X-ray vision, basically.

I really should remember what I was doing with this. It was kinda fascinating to see how my mind works sometimes.

---

“What's going on?” I brilliantly asked, as if it was not completely obvious that some Serious Shit had gone down in my off hours.

“Great Sky Above,” Tal replied, he's a bit melodramatic at times, “it's like a fantasy war happened overnight or something.”

“Just tell me.” I dropped off my personal belongings in the safe and pinned my tag to my chest, registering that I was on shift and ready to work. Anja Jeruk, Human Interface Practitioner, Medical Service with a Smile.

“I started at turnover, and it was...ya know...a normal night. Then this case came in. Hair standing on end, sparks literally floating above his head...” Tal trailed off as the clinic doors slid open and another quartet of folks wandered in, each in a different state of dishevelment and disrepair, one couple leaning on each other for support. I turned to instruct them, as is part of my job.

“Please form a queue. We'll be with you shortly.”

“You don't understand...” the one in front said. I saw that her teeth were black. Not like stained from too much coffee kind of black but like...painted with tar kind of black. “We're in trouble.”

(under the cut for vomit)

Before I could ask what kind, the younger man leaning on her started vomiting. Now, this sort of thing is common in a clinic. Drunks, self harmers, kids getting into their parents cleaning supplies, rich idiots on their first run of street drugs...I've seen all sorts of people come in and mess up my nice clean clinic floor. This, though, this was...different.

The vomit was tar black, like the woman's teeth, and thick like sludge from the bottom of a waste barrel. But there was no smell. None at all. From my periphery, and that weird thing my eyes were doing, I saw through the clinic walls to a holding room in the back and saw the dude Tal mentioned with the sparks around his head. I turned to Tal with a questioning look, and remembered just before opening my mouth that I wasn't going to say that I suddenly had a weird power of seeing through walls. I grabbed a bucket instead, thrust it at the tar couple and looked at the others that had come in with them.

“And what's going on with you two?”

“My partner...he's...he's got hiccups,” the cleaner of the two young men said. I raised my eyebrows and didn't say anything. Hiccups, eh? Not so bad. Until the poor thing had one and I was forced to re-evaluate my position on that. The eruption was loud, forceful enough that it shook his whole body and smelled like...flowers. Like fresh cut lilies with carnations thrown in for a splash of color.

“Okay...” I said, wondering what the fresh hell was happening to people. I looked at the line of folks waiting for DocBot to see them and saw each and every one had strange symptoms presenting in equally strange ways. There was a woman whose hair seemed to have turned to something other than hair, an older couple whose palms, fingernails, eyes and tongues were all metallic blue, a mother and child who looked like they'd been up all night battling the butterflies randomly appearing from the child's ear...this list went on.

I turned to Tal. “Been this way since turnover?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking exhausted and defeated. Nothing prepares you for sudden magic, does it? Of course, none of us knew then what it was. It was just the weirdest day imaginable. I had no idea then that it would lead me to where I am now.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

#ask #wip list of shame #fantasy magical screwup #original fiction

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fistsoflightning · 3 years

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light housekeeping: i am Back, Baby (but like i still have homework i have to scramble over and finish aaaa end of quarter....) and i will be refreshing my queue soon. probably. once i finish sorting through all my drafts. new ask meme! i might do a revamp of pages/theme soon? definitely one in the works for the writing page tho; i need to add all the ffxivwrite2020 posts

also of note:

i am an idiot and crave azim steppe content again, i may make a whole separate tag for it on this blog.

i have three asks sitting in my inbox from three months ago i forgot to answer and i think there’s two more somewhere near the bottom of my drafts half-finished (brain really went Die sometime in august huh)

i’ll hopefully get the time to make screenshots soon!!! i’m shaking my fist at all the calc homework i have to do....

OH WAIT I WILL (HOPEFULLY) HAVE ART SOON! it is, technically, my ap art project, but shhh if college board can’t tell it’s fanart it can 100% count as a portfolio piece

i will inevitably be disappearing on november 20th to go on a loz: age of calamity adventure with my brother and it will eat our souls because i’m an idiot and set my save to ‘very hard’ for funsies. i’ve gotten us killed three times because i can’t fight wizrobes send help-

IM LIKE. SIX CLASSES AWAY FROM ALL 80. THE MOMENT WARRIOR HITS 70 I LIVE IN BOZJA UNTIL I CAN GET AMARO

#yasshoi my dudes #i will. probably answer those last three asks after this meme. probably.

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starstruck-thirst · 4 years

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Ask Cont. My Writing Process

Sorry I didn't get back to this part of that ask ( linked here ) for a while. I won't make excuses... I forgot. Like I kept meaning to write it all back out (this was one of the things that I typed on tumblr then accidentally refreshed and lost), but then I just plum forgot. I apologize.

Anyway here we go. A somewhat condensed down version of how I write:

First thing is it is important to know that I am one of those people that generally thinks in pictures and not in words. Now I can have thoughts in words but overall I'm a picture thinker. So with this in mind a must have for me personally is music.

Music with words is best for me. I have playlists I specifically make for characters, fandoms, moods, etc. So I put on the playlist I need to help fuel my mental images. I teased a playlist for "She Wants Revenge" (here is a Spotify link to it if you are interested) in a previous post. And sincerely I put that on and put it on repeat as I wrote. The feeling I get from music helps fuel my imagination and gets me into the mood I want to set.

If you can't do music with words then try music without if you can. It really can help set a scene in your head.

The next part is also hard for me to translate to everyone but I will try.

So since I am generally a picture thinker, when I am writing a scene I am literally seeing it in my head. What I write is what I am personally experiencing, or would like to. If you aren't a picture thinker this might require more pre-planning scenes and conversations so that you can write more smoothly. I myself make no real plans. I have a rough outline in my head of what I want to happen and then I release my imagination as I write.

But no matter how you think or write here is my personal most important Star Technique Requirement: Do Not Stop Writing.

I know everyone says this and it is easier said than done but sincerely I cannot recommend it enough. If to do this you have to have an outline written and open in another document or written out on physical paper, do it. Do whatever you have to to be able to write uninhibited for as long as you can. And please note those last words "as long as YOU can".

This stage will be different for everyone. I can sit down and slam out 2k in one sitting without a break. Maybe for you it is going to be 500 words. That is okay! But try to get at least 100 out in my opinion.

The second part of this stage is do not revise/ edit yet.

See the thing about writing is you have to make it exist before you can nit-pick it. If you allow yourself to get hung up on a word, or a specific part of a scene too long you will become derailed. Don't do that to yourself. Just keep going until you have a good portion of the piece done, or if you can wait until you complete a full rough draft.

In general I will not edit at all until I have finished the part/ chapter. The exception to this rule is if I write half of it now and half in two days. Because to get back into the flow I have to re-read what I wrote so it flows seamlessly. But even then the edits are restricted to "Oh this word is spelled wrong. I need to add a comma." Other than that I'll maybe highlight the sentence if it flows incorrectly, but otherwise I leave it for when I read it all after the rough draft is done.

FINALLY I edit the document. Now I personally keep music on for this. I don't want to lose my flow and the feeling I'm trying to create. Since I am an atmospheric focused writer (or at least I try to be) this is important to me. It helps me get a sense of "is what I'm reading having the effect I want it to?" And if that answer is no this is the time to tweak it.

A suggestion I adore for the editing process is to change the font each time you reread it for editing. You would be amazed by the things you catch in a different font. For me I type in a serif font so I edit with a sans serif font, that way it is drastically different.

Now here is the time that you get a beta reader. Someone who isn't a true 'editor' to read the thing and give you feedback. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have this person, but if you can find that person do it. They can give you insight into what is working and what doesn't work (and catch that last 'teh' that you kept missing.)

I myself will now read the thing one more time after this with the intention of not editing it. Just enjoying what I wrote. Trying to turn off the writer's brain and see if it is enjoyable.

Then finally I post it.

To be honest I am bad about posting at 'high' volume times and tend to post when I am done because I get EXCITED like a child. But I'm trying to use the queue more for that so I don't keep posting things at weird hours. (Although you can't queue responses to questions.)

But that is generally it. The only other thing I'll add is sometimes I have a picture of the character (or two) open on my computer as well. I'll either keep it minimized or I'll have it open literally side by side with my doc if I feel I need the extra inspiration. But generally I don't need to do this. I do tend to keep the character wikia open as well as a dictionary and thesaurus. If I need a word quickly I can use these without getting too distracted.

#star answers #sorry for taking so long #let me know if you guys like this stuff #also let me know if you listen to my playlist #if you do we're friends now #that is the rules

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years

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[an update]

I mentioned last night that I would make this post. There are a few things I want to talk about for this week and December.

Next week...

As many of you know, I’m currently working two jobs while going to school, one of which is in retail. This week is a holiday break from school, but Thanksgiving and Black Friday are also coming up and that means my workplace has been a hellfire.

I’m working double the hours I usually would and today is literally my only day off until next Monday. Because of that, I will be mostly absent all week, including the weekend. Meaning that we won’t have any character/ship nights next week.

I just wanted to let you know so that when I don’t post the usual polls is because we’re not doing it and not because I forgot again.

Drabbles

That being said, I’m going to try and get ahead on my drabbles and queue them up to post just in case I don’t have time to post them myself.

I’m determined to finish this and post all 30 of them, even if they end up bleeding into December a bit.

And speaking of December, I wanted to do something fun.

December + contest/giveaway/gift thing/I don’t know what to call it....

I was talking about this with one of my co-workers who knows I run this blog in my spare time and that I enjoy writing. I was telling him about how much y’all mean to me and how much fun I have talking to you during our character and ship nights, but also how I sometimes feel like I don’t do enough... which is dumb, I know, haha. I write stories, I interact with you guys a lot, and all this but sometimes I want to do more, y’know?

So, then we started talking about writing requests and all those prompts you guys sent in a while ago. I asked for those because I was looking for as many ideas as possible for the writing challenge this month, and I’ve written a lot of them for this challenge!

However, there was a lot that I have yet to get to. A lot of great ones.

Because of that, he gave me a suggestion that I kind of like: a contest/giveaway...thing. Except not. Sort of. Kind of a contest/giveaway thing, haha.

I don’t know what else to call it, but he thought it’d be cool if I did something where I give you guys a prompt like “Why is TWDG so important to you?” or “Which season of TWDG is your favorite and why?” or whatever, and then say a handful of you write mini “essays,” if you want to call it that, and post them under a certain tag while also tagging me.

I read through them a pick a winner, and that person will get a one-shot from me about anything they want.

Lemme give you an example using an existing story:

Say John Doe wins, and I get into contact with him and say, “Hey, you win! I’ll write a one-shot of your choice!” and John Doe’s like, “Great! I want an angsty Clouis story where Louis dies and Clementine talks to him a dream with some sad smooching and Lee’s there, too!” and then I would proceed to write [write to me].

Or, maybe Jane Doe wins and she’s like “I want a Lousim story that takes place after Louis loses his tongue and Aasim and him grow closer and fall in love, and a year later, Louis decides he wants to confess in the most Louis way possible, despite not having a voice anymore. It’s also winter time and lots of soft lousim cuddling and smooching.” I would then write that one-shot with the details you provided.

Essentially, you give me a request of what you want and I’ll 100% do it. I’ll take extra time to make sure it’s my absolute best work, take the things/elements you want and incorporate them into the story, and then post it with credit to you as the winner. I’ll work with you as much as possible to make sure you love it, a gift from me to you this coming holiday season.

So that’s like... the giveaway part? I guess? I don’t have anything I can physically send you guys but I can write you a fic of your choice.

It’s something that I thought could be fun for you guys and for myself, and honestly, it would make me feel better about the requests that I get and good to give back.

There’ll be rules and guidelines of course, like I won’t do certain ships or anything with explicit sexual content, but I’ll go over all that when I make the official post.

And to kind of get an idea of how many would be into participating in this or if they think it could be fun or not, I did make a poll. All the results will be for my eyes only, it’s anonymous, and there’s an OTHER option where you can add your own thoughts and answer.

I’m doing it this way because if no one wants to do it or thinks it’s a dumb idea or whatever, I won’t do it! But if y’all are interested, I will!

And yes, I am anticipating the ever-present “Why are you doing this instead of with you why do you hate us you selfish prick-” responses because they never fail to come in hahaha.

And if you have any other questions, you can always send me an ask!

In conclusion

I’ll be gone next week, I’ll try and catch up on my drabbles, and I wanna know your thoughts on the thing I presented for next month. Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to throw it all on the table before we start Tenniana night later and before I get to work on my drabbles.

I love you guys! Thank you! ❤️

#update #now i gotta go make some tea and get ready to work on drabbles #this next one is a mitch one and i'm into it haha #long post #i didn't mean to make it this long but y'know me #remember if you have any questions about the contest thing don't be afraid to ask #or if you have any thoughts of feedback #it's all appreciated

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ksmutclub · 5 years

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Frequently Asked Questions

Who can join K Smut Club?

Anyone who creates smut content for Kpop Groups!

Can I apply?

If you have followed the net, reblogged the Official Post and read the rules, of course you can!

How will I know if I was accepted?

We will tag you in an acceptance post! If we aren’t able to tag you we will send you a message or an ask!

Why wasn’t I accepted?

You might not have followed the rules, changed your URL before being accepted, not followed the club or don’t have an accessible masterlist. Please make sure you read the rules and re-apply, if you change your URL, please let us know so we can still accept you.

I only create content for one group, can I still apply?

Of course! Although we aim to be as multi fandom as possible we will still accept you in our club.

I’m going on a hiatus, what should I do?

You need to send us an ask stating how long you will be on a hiatus for and send us an ask when you come back. We understand that life happens and sometimes we just need a break, however, if your hiatus is longer than 6 months, we will be terminating your membership with us. Once you come back and if you still want to be part of the network, you can re-apply.

I want to change my URL/recreate my blog, what should I do?

You must let us know if you change your URL so we can keep our records up to date. If you are moving you blog under the same or different name it is important to let us know so we can update the member’s page accordingly.

I don’t see myself in the member’s page, why was I removed or not added?

There could be three possible scenarios:

We forgot to add you!

You broke the rules and were removed to from the club. You will be contacted about this.

You have been inactive or on a hiatus for longer than 6 months. As much as we want you in the club, we also want active members. You can always re-apply if you were removed for this reason.

Do you reblog ___?

We try to reblog all kinds of content, so the answer is yes to almost everything. We will NOT reblog the following topics:

Sexualization of minors,

Incest,

Eating disorders,

Self harm,

Glorification of mental illnesses,

Animal abuse,

Any controversial topics,

Political topics,

Masterlists,

WIPs posts,

Domestic violence,

Abusive relationships,

Pedophilia,

Necrophilia,

Homophic topics,

Racist topics.

Rape

This list is to be updated at any given time.

I tagged my work but you guys haven’t reblog it yet, did you guys somehow missed it?

If we did, we’re sorry! The admis take turns to do the queue and work on the club as much as we can when possible so we might have missed it. Another reason we might not have reblogged it could be because you didn’t properly identify you work. By that we mean you didn’t put the group it is for, the member(s), the genre (if it’s a fic) and/or the warnings.

I’m offended/triggered by something that was posted, can you take it down?

If the piece in question has been properly tagged, complete with warnings, rating, and genre, then no, we’re sorry. We sympathize, we really do, but we want to allow our members free reign to express themselves within the allowed topics.

#directory

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real6lacktony · 5 years

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How To Grow Your Blog Traffic Using Tumblr

Eli Seekins

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That’s the social media dream, right? To set it and forget it, and gain thousands of followers without even trying or thinking about it?

To be honest, getting 8k followers on Tumblr in 5 months without ever logging in was never my intention.

Tumblr was distracting me from my “real work” so I thought I needed to take a break. I actually forgot about my account. Then months later thought I’d check up on it. Imagine my surprise when I saw how much it had grown.

The last time I was on I only had 500 followers. I spent that entire day studying analytics, reblogging cool pictures, and optimizing my Tumblr page to drive traffic back to my website.

Though it seems like my Tumblr blew up on its own, there was actually a very important seed that I planted, and several strategies that I implemented, that made it’s growth possible.

Let me show you how I did it. I’ve broken it down into 7 easy steps.

Oh and here are some pictures so you know I’m not just blowing steam.

This is my account back in early 2016 with only 300 followers.

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And here’s my account in Oct 2016 with just over 8,000 followers.

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And just since rediscovering my Tumblr and writing this article I’ve gained another 500.

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Steps to grow your Tumblr account

Choose your niche

The very first step to growing your Tumblr blog is to narrow your niche. Blogs that have specific topics tend to do better and attract more attention.

Colorful Gradients and Ghost Photographs are both examples of a super narrow niche.

But you also want to make sure to choose a niche that you’re passionate about — I mean that’s kinda the whole point in the first place.

Your niche determines what sort of content you will be posting.

Also, you don’t necessarily have to use the same exact niche as your main blog or website (if you have one). For example, my main blog Launch Your Dream is about following your dreams and it’s mostly focused on how to start a successful blog.

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My Tumblr blog, Eli Seekins, is also about following your dreams but is more focused on travel, adventure and lifestyle.

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The trick is to find something narrow that you enjoy.

For more tips on picking your niche, check out my post: How To Discover Your Perfect Niche (the Blogging Wizard — Adam — drops a mega helpful tip over there as well).

Know your brand

Your Tumblr is an extension of your brand, whether you are just starting one or already have one.

You want your brand to have a clear message. You need an edge — something that other brands don’t have. You need to know your values, what you stand for, and your mission.

That way you will always know what sort of content to post. Your brand will be clear and thorough, and people will get it.

When people get it, they have a better chance of connecting. And when they connect, they have a better chance of engaging and even sharing.

Knowing your brand also means knowing your audience. Who are you trying to reach? What sort of content do they like most?

(My brand is about following your dreams, travel, adventure, and lifestyle. I’m reaching out to young people who want to do something big with their lives. I value things like working hard, taking risks, and making a difference in the world.)

Here are 3 brands that are crushing it on Tumblr:

Adidas

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Sesame Street

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LIFE

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All three of these brands know who they are and who their audience is, and they do a great job of translating that over to their Tumblr.

For more help with branding, check out: 9 Tips for Creating an Awesome Brand

Follow popular accounts in your niche

A great way to find good content to repost, and to find out what people in your niche are responding to, is to check out the popular blogs in your niche.

It’s pretty easy to find them. Just look for the blogs who are posting a lot every day, who get lots of notes, and have a large following.

To get started just search for different keywords.

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And check out the different accounts.

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I’d follow anywhere from 50 – 100 blogs right away.

Reblog quality content 1 – 3 times a day (by using your queue)

One of the greatest tools in Tumblr is your queue.

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You can fill it with up to 300 posts, and set a certain amount of those posts to automatically publish throughout different times of the day.

In my opinion, your queue is perfect for filling up with loads of content to reblog (reblog means to repost someone else’s content on your Tumblr blog). And I just schedule my original stuff. That way I’m always sharing content, and I can schedule my content to post whenever I want and at peak times.

I often experiment with reblogging anywhere from 1 – 50 posts a day.

For those 5 months that I didn’t log into my account, when I gained 8,000 followers, I had about 200 reblogs in my queue set to share 1 photo a day at 9pm. And I wasn’t even sharing any original content.

Typically the bigger your audience grows the more content you can post. I don’t recommend sharing more than 3-5 posts a day until you get your first 1,000 followers.

You can find good content to reblog on the popular blogs that you’ve followed, by searching keywords in the search bar, or just by checking out your dashboard feed.

Then all you have to do is hit the queue button.

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You can change your queue settings over in the menu on the right.

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Include relevant hashtags

Hashtags in Tumblr are the keywords that make your posts searchable. They’re very important for getting your content seen.

You can find popular hashtags by doing a search and seeing what people are looking for.

And by typing in different tags in a post to see what people are using.

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Make sure that you use tags that are popular and relevant to your niche AND relevant to the content you are tagging. Just so you know only the first 20 tags that you use are actually searchable (source).

Use a call to action

I was surprised by how few people were using call to actions when I first started implementing these strategies. Since then, it seems like some popular accounts in my niche have caught on though.

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That’s because call to actions are powerful. It’s how this post has gotten almost 15,000,000 notes, by simply saying “pass it on”.

It’s great if your posts get a lot of attention, but if your viewers aren’t doing anything after they see your content what’s the point? Don’t you want them to take action?

All of your posts should include some sort of call to action, whether it’s to bring viewers to your Tumblr blog, to your main site, or somewhere different — or even to just get likes and reblogs.

At first, I felt kinda weird putting call to actions on other people’s content that I was reposting, but it’s ok to do if you do it right. And it can make a big difference. Just make sure to be genuine. For example, don’t repost someone’s original photo and use it to promote your ebook or video course. That’s kinda sleezy. But leaving a call to action on reblogs to like, reblog, or check out more of your posts is totally ok and can increase your engagement and get you more followers.

Warning

Always ensure that the creator of images you share retain credit. It can sometimes be difficult to to figure out who originally shared something on Tumblr – reblog’s usually link to the person who you reblogged it from. But we recommend trying to credit the original author if you can. And whatever you do, never remove a credit link. And try to share original content when you can – you’ll get more traction if you do.

For more tips on how to write good call to actions check out these posts:

Hook, Line, and Sinker: 7 Tips for a Killer Call-to-Action

5 Ways to Write Magnetic Call-to-Actions in Just 5 Minutes

21 Call to Action Examples and 3 Rules for Effective CTAs

31 Call-to-Action Examples You Can’t Help But Click

Use keyboard shortcuts to supercharge the speed of your workflow

I’m gonna be honest, filling up your queue with hundreds of posts is a lot of work — it eats up your time. I even considered quitting Tumblr for good because of how much time it takes.

One of the things that bothers me the most is that you can’t copy paste hashtags. You have to type each one in individually. And if you’re using 5 – 20 tags per post and have 300 posts in your queue…. that’s a lot of typing hashtags.

It took me a little bit of time to figure out, but I have my Tumblr workflow down to a system. I can’t even imagine how much time it saves me.

It’s all based on Mac Mastro (I use a mac, but if you’re a pc guy check out AutoHotkey or Quick Macros). This app allows me to save multiple different presets of titles, tags, and call to actions into keyboard shortcuts. So all I have to do is press a button combination on my keyboard and everything is automatically typed out for me. That way I don’t have to keep typing the same things over and over again hundreds — even thousands of times.

I’ll show you what I mean…

Here’s an example of my workflow, hotkeys, and scripts that I use.

1. Find a post to reblog

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2. Add a call to action with a hotkey

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Mac Mastro allows you to save multiple different actions to one hotkey, that way when you press the hotkey you can just click whichever one you want to use, then it types it for you.

3. Format your CTA and add a link if appropriate (again using a hotkey)

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4. Add tags (using a hotkey)

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5. Add to queue and you’re done

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The whole process takes a matter of seconds and dramatically decreases the amount of time it would normally take.

To create a new hotkey with Mac Mastro:

1. Go to File and then New Macro.

2. Add a new hotkey trigger. And then press whatever keys you want your hotkey to be.

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3. Add a new action

4. Search for and click “ Execute an AppleScript”

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5. Insert your script

Here are examples of the different scripts I use in Mac Mastro.

This is what I use for all my CTAs and links.

on run tell application "System Events" delay 0.25 keystroke "What You Want Typed Here" end tell end run

And this is what I use for all my tags.

on run tell application "System Events" delay 0.25 keystroke "tag 1" keystroke return delay 0.1 keystroke "tag 2" keystroke return delay 0.1 keystroke "tag 3" keystroke return delay 0.1 keystroke "tag 4" keystroke return delay 0.1 keystroke "tag 5" keystroke return end tell end run

Just put whatever you want your hotkey to type between the quotes after “keystroke”.

Tags are a little more tricky because you need the script to press enter after each one. That’s why there are delays and extra keystrokes.

And that’s it. Whenever you hit your hotkey it will type out whatever the script is set to type.

Extra Tumblr tips

Don’t try to sell

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At Least not at first when you are trying to grow. You can’t focus both on selling and getting followers at the same time. And honestly it’s pointless to sell when you don’t have an audience yet.

Plus people get on Tumblr to be entertained. People choose Tumblr over places like Facebook and Linkedin because it’s hip — it’s cool and artistic — it’s where the trend setters and young people go.

And they’re very good at detecting and filtering the content that they want to see. If they see your post, and get any sort of sleazy vibe, they’ll scroll past it without thinking twice.

Use Tumblr as a creative place to experiment and try new things — and especially as a place to post original content.

If your goal is still to sell, think of Tumblr as the top of your funnel, where you create awareness and grow relationships, not where you make your pitch.

Get a custom theme and domain name

Tumblr has a big creative vibe. Creativity and good design is important to a lot of its users. On top of that, Derek Halpern, Hubspot rated the design as the:

#1 thing that influences a viewer in those few seconds when they decide to stay on a website or not…

A study done by Elizabeth Sillence that found 94% of the participants who distrusted a website distrusted it because of its design.

That’s why getting a good looking and practical theme is important.

Just do a quick Google search, or click here to check out some different themes.

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Using a custom domain name isn’t necessary. It’s more of a personal and brand choice. And it’s definitely not going to make a big difference when you first get started. But if you want to stand out a little more, go for it. I didn’t start using my personal domain name until my blog caught on and started gaining momentum.

Check out this easy guide by NameCheap for using a custom domain name.

Create original content

Tumblr is a great place for content curators. But anyone can reblog other people’s posts. If you really want to stand out, post original content specifically for your audience on Tumblr that aligns with your brand. It’s also a good place to share your content from other platforms.

For example, I take photos of all my hiking and travel adventures. I pick out individual photos, write small 100 – 500 word micro blogs to go with them, and post one daily on Tumblr.

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And I don’t post them anywhere else. I also post daily original quotes that align with my brand.

And I also share all my YouTube videos on my Tumblr blog, as well as all the articles that I write.

Oh and make sure to add a source url of your blog or website whenever you post original stuff, that way you’ll get credit for it. And it will help drive a little bit of traffic for you. Plus getting your links shared on social media will help build your SEO.

So Tumblr is great for 3 things: reblogging quality content, posting original content, and sharing your content from other platforms.

Like I said though, creating original content specifically for Tumblr, is what makes certain bloggers stand out from the rest.

And posting content that’s visual — like photos, videos and GIFs — is a must.

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If you’re afraid to post original content because you don’t think it’s good enough, don’t be. Everybody has to start somewhere. You’ll get better the more you create and the more you post. If you look at the original content I first posted on Tumblr, it looks horrible compared to what I’m posting now. Every great blogger and content creator started out bad — seriously. They just practiced and increased their skill as they went along.

So get to work.

Drive traffic

I’m still learning the ropes when it comes to using Tumblr to bring traffic to your main blog or website. But since revamping my Tumblr, linking back to my site, and writing this article, Tumblr has brought 56 visitors to Launch Your Dream, which is more than Twitter, Facebook or Pinterest brought for me during that same time.

One thing to note is that I’m focused on growing my Tumblr following right now, rather than driving traffic to my website. So only something like 1 out of every 50 of my Tumblr posts link to Launch Your Dream. Almost all the rest link back to my Tumblr blog. How much traffic do you think I’d get if I linked to my main site more?

Maybe we’ll find out later.

Only time will tell how effective my new Tumblr will be at driving traffic to my website. But I’m excited to grow this new following, and to see how it impacts my main blog in the future.

Over to you

#inspiration #3k followers

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yourthyla · 6 years

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I am here with my enthusiastic report about how I met Jeffrey Combs for the first time at Sheffield horror con, cosplaying Herbert West. If this post triggers you in any way, feel free not to keep reading. Sounds strange but these posts did trigger myself, that’s what you get for unhealthy celebrity crush. Because, this post is also going to relate to platonic love a bit because that was a big part of this experience to me and sometimes it can get out of hand, sometimes this is a very intense moment for people. For that intensity, this might be a trigger.

Honestly, not gonna lie with you folks but I have a huge crippling platonic crush on Jeffrey and when I saw him from distance, when he raised his head to look at the next person in the queue, his eyes were sparkling and his smile was engraved in my mind as the warmest thing I’ve seen. The man is 63 and I am not ashamed to say he is beautiful. He just is. And first time he looked into my direction, probably not even seeing me, I was weak in knees, butterflies in my stomach, adoring warmth in my heart. For a person who has problems experiencing real-life love because they can’t help but compare it to something unreal, fictional, without reach, I am sure many of you have been there at some point, this was..simply very intense. I’ve been dreaming about this very moment most nights for the past month.

When it was finally my turn (kudos to the convention system - you got a number like in a bank and didn’t have to stand in the queue until your number was nearing) I froze for a moment a meter in front of Jeffrey and his eyes were on me then. I stepped closer at last, no idea what my face must have looked like, probably awe. And Jeff went “Look at you!” So I melted. He seemed proud of me to wear a nice cosplay of him, later on he even showed some person next to him “Look, that’s Herbert West.” Anyway, I shook his hand and then I showed him my wristwatch to have something to go from. I had sent him a pic of my unfinished cosplay some time ago on Twitter and he actually replied then, saying it’s excellent and not to forgot “Herbie’s” wristwatch. Which I might have if he didn’t say. When I showed them, he immediately remembered with enthusiasm, again pointing out the story to his assistant or whatever, about how he saw my tweet. Then we had a little chat about what hand Herbert had the watch on, where I found out Jeff was left-handed. Moving on, I handed him my Lovecraft Re-Animator short story to sign and he wrote my name and all, we also took a selfie.

Look at him, he looks so proud. Seriously guys, he was such delight. And I will fight you on the opinion that age just adds to his charm. Beside a few other comments, that was it. Oh yes and I actually asked to hug him which was...fucking nice. Jeff then had a panel with Barbara Crampton, who played Meg on Re-Animator and who was actually a sweetheart too. Because I was extra, I snapped a pencil in the audience for some Herbert vibe but unfortunately it was too far for him to hear lol but some people behind me laughed.

We had a quick photo too! Where Jeff immediately reached for my Reagent because he does love to use our props guys. I asked him if he wants to use that on me, to which he always goes “Uh-hmm!” with this..smooth excitement, it was really cool.

And after that, staying in the room for few minutes to realise my friend and I are the last ones there who aren’t staff, I left, super embarrassed like what the hell? I realised I should stop staring. But sometimes I could not help it, especially in the beginning when I just watched from far distance. He was just glowing, you know? No less than in TV. And I kept telling my dude, I could just look at him all day, it’s mesmerising, I just want to watch him, that’s all, watch him do his thing, mundane as it was, I watched him smile and enjoy his job and it made me satisfied and there was no time-space, there was just Jeffrey. But there was also the constant feeling at the back of my head, yelling loudly, don’t be creepy though, don’t be a crazy fan, don’t linger too much and give him a chance to respect you. But it’s hard.

Anyway, after that, while I decided to join cosplay masquerade just for the hell of it (which was fun and successful, although i obviously didn’t win) I was overwhelmed by intense melancholy. Because this was it. It was literally like a drug, when you get high and you are somewhere else for a while, you just live in a state of agitated happiness. And then it’s gone. And I don’t know when, and if, I see him again. This man I am ashamed to say I love. I know, it’s more like a big admiration, call it obsession or whatever you want, I am not stupid, I experienced a feeling like this before and I am mature enough to control it and express it to the person in an adequate and appreciation-worthy way, but that doesn’t change the fact that I felt love, and I felt heartbreak, and I was empty without him next to me. Because you had it within reach but then you have to leave it. Because obviously, you love it, you must let it go.

Despite that, I couldn’t stand the way I felt and decided to see him one last time, luckily finding him signing his last autographs. I came to his table and he was first to greet me again, in a very nice, tireless (what a guy) voice. I stuttered out something like I couldn’t help it not to say a proper goodbye to him. That fantastic man stood up and hugged me over the table once more while I was telling him how much much much this meant to me, close to crying but I didn’t. Jeff thanked me for representing him. Then I again lingered more than I should have lol, but I left, much more satisfied this time with some sort of closure. I am currently working hard on my Weyoun cosplay so I really hope to meet him again to be able to bow to him in it! So, that was that? One of the most important events to me, for sure. Thanks for reading my reflective essay whoever did, take whatever you want from it and know that Jeff won’t disappoint in giving you a very delightful experience if you meet him! What a sweet, sweet man.

#long post #jeffrey combs #semi-personal #weyoun #reanimator #herbert west #ds9 #brunt #horrorcon

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