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#I want and need this whole set!
inkskinned · 7 months
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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spacedlexi · 4 months
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"sounds nice... having a partner"
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY#people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice#like be fr#clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior#vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt#'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours#after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together#violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her#'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you#'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower#the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go#'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill#its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you#spaced art 2024
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bahrmp3 · 11 months
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personal log, stardate 47329.4. i finally realized why i've had trouble sleeping the last few nights. yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the massacre at wolf 359... the fourth anniversary of jennifer's death.
[ID: 8 gifs from season 2, episode 9 “second sight” from the tv series “star trek: deep space nine”, the gifs show benjamin sisko and jake sisko within their personal quarters, seated on the couch.
1st gif: the gif shows benjamin from the side and jake from the front up close. benjamin has his arm wrapped around jake's shoulder. jake tells his dad, "dad, i... i love you." his is looking downwards.
2nd gif: the camera cuts to a different angle showing benjamin from the front and jake from the side up close. jake is still looking downwards when benjamin tells him, "i love you, too." benjamin moves to kiss jake on his temple.
3rd gif: benjamin kisses jake on the temple, he checks on jake to make sure he is okay.
4th gif: "oh, i have a calculus test in the morning." jake recalls.
5th gif: the camera cuts to a different angle showing benjamin from the side and jake from the waist up. benjamin pats jake on the shoulder and tells him, "then you better get some sleep." "yeah."
6th, 7th, 8th gif: jake pauses on the way to bed, he calls out "dad?" and benjamin hums in response, "hmm?" "i miss her." jake tells his dad, who replies with "me, too." jake goes through the door and the camera focuses on benjamin who looks at his chess board and reaches for a piece./end ID]
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mariana-oconnor · 7 months
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The fact that there is no dialogue with Karlach where Tav can suggest that she and Dammon maybe get to know each other a little better is tragic to me.
I want to set up my friend with the sweet tiefling blacksmith. LET ME SET THEM UP.
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b4kuch1n · 8 months
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fanciful stories (you're way too good at this)
(that's not what it's about. being good at it)
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paimonial-rage · 4 months
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Ask meme - 6 and 9 for the dragon men (zhongli and neuvillette) please!
This took so long I am so sorry, but here we go!
[Character Analysis Ask Meme]
What is Neuvillette's biggest insecurity?
Neuvillette’s biggest insecurity is not something he's ever tried to hide. Anyone that has spent enough time with the Iudex has probably heard him mention it before. Simply put, Neuvillette doesn't understand the emotions of humans very well. He never has and sometimes he doubts if he ever will? How many times has this flaw of his costed him dearly in the past? How many mistakes has he made? And how many are there yet to come? How he dreads the thought.
What can’t you trust [Neuvillette] with?
To chase after you - Iudex Neuvillette is many things—polite, kind, intelligent—but he is not a man without faults. Only a few know him well enough to realize he holds many regrets upon his shoulders, majority that were never his burden alone to bear. Should you ever become the source of one of these regrets, you can surely expect to know. With somber eyes and a weight upon his shoulders, he will apologize to you. But don’t expect anymore than that. Not understanding human emotions is not only his weakness, but a prison. He will not attempt to make things up to you nor will he try to make things how they used to be. You’re best off where he can hurt you no more, even if that means he will be left alone to the rain.
What is Zhongli's biggest insecurity?
Who knows lol.
What can’t you trust Zhongli with?
With mora - As knowledgeable and talented Zhongli is with many things, it is a surprise to many to hear that businessmen don’t exactly enjoy making deals with him. How can they when contract discussions always leave them with the [shorter end of the stick]? How many [unforeseen business expenses] do they end up incurring in such a short amount of time? In the end, they always lose more than they gained. What they don’t know is this unfortunate occurrence happens with any Mora dealings with the man. But what can you expect for someone that, by contract, has the Traveler liable for all expenses during his outings with them? It's simply best to leave all matters of mora out of any relationships with him.
With your heart - If there's one thing true about Zhongli, it's that, while he may withhold the truth, he does not lie. So when he speaks of a person warmly, they can very well believe his words to be true. That being said, it is important that one does not mistaken his warmth with depth. One cannot simply entrust their heart to him and expect his in return. How could anyone hope to understand the weight of many a millennia, after all? So while the desire may be cute, it'll never be something he would even consider to reciprocate.
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#zhongli#neuvilllette#zhongli x reader#neuvillette x reader#character analysis ask meme#my writing#i am so sorry this took so long anon i have no excuses#not the happiest with these set of responses either#neuvillette’s insecurity answer is severely lacking#it’s so obvious that it feels too easy but like#the reason why i feel that way is because the answer doesn’t answer WHY tha5 is his biggest insecurity. WHY does it matter to him so much?#the obvious answer is that it is because he cares about humans but why??#the answer i came to is that deep down he wants to be accepted by humans which is why he seeks to understand them but i am not sure#granted that’s just my gut answer. i need to do way more research but i already left you waiting too long#as for zhongli like….. ugh#my first answer for what you can trust him with was a cop out but like!!!#that’s because my second answer is like something i talk about alllll the time when i talk about zhongli OTL#i have a whole series surrounding it orz#i didn’t think anyone would want me to talk about it again so i came up with the cop out answer#but the cop out answer was such a cop out i ended up typing my original idea haha#so you get two answers that are kind of mediocre. i’m sorry. ;v;#all of my other answers for him would be more humorous#you can’t trust him with: common sense… bringing appropriate party cups… arriving to events on time#tho there’s no proof for it you gotta admit that he gives off the vibes of someone tha5 is chronically late to everything#and as for his insecurity like… typically old and ‘spiritually actualized’ people are of the hardest to analyze in terms of insecurities#he has no chinks in his armor#i will be working on your next ask though! hopefully it takes less time ;v;
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unpretty · 10 months
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Wait wait what did your boss do with the sweet potato??? I'm trying to imagine how you'd eat a raw sweet potato, they are so solid. You could shave bits off I guess??? Did they microwave it?
he slowly sawed it in half with a plastic butter knife, put one half back in the lunchbox (presumably for tomorrow) and then microwaved the other half
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pumpkinrootbeer · 4 months
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Eugene was truly the best boyfriend. saw his girlfriend get broken up with, and immediately had a revenge glow up. Imagine being Cassandra seeing your ex girlfriend's boyfriend and he's wearing a golden choker with the just deepest v neck known to man, the world's sluttiest gloves, and a thigh garter. I'd have to give up then and there.
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soopersara · 9 months
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I've been fighting with the colors on this thing off and on for MONTHS now. I'm still not entirely convinced by how it turned out, but this is as good as it's gonna get for now.
Definitely proud of how that lily came out, though!
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kenobion · 4 months
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Andrew Garfield at RSIFF 23
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dumplingsjinson · 5 months
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Let me just uh, set some hard fucking boundaries with some of you people in regards to MY relationship.
Do not keep questioning my choices on MY relationship.
First of all, you're not in this relationship. Let me mess up and find out, if worse comes to worst. Let me fuck around and find out. I'm not going to blame you for not warning me, don't worry. Seriously. So stop questioning me.
Don't keep asking me, "Why don't you label things with him? I think it's bullshit that there are no labels. What's the POINT of this relationship if you're not labelled as such and such? You're just wasting your time. Stop that. It's weird. This doesn't seem right to me. Why call it exclusive if there's no labels?"
Let me fucking date how I want, damn. Let me be in a goddamn relationship how I want, without me needing to explain myself to you. You, who I don't even know. You, who's not even a mere acquaintance of mine. Even my friends aren't questioning me, so who are YOU to question me when you know virtually NOTHING about our relationship?
Why are YOU, as someone who doesn't know the full fucking picture, trying to enforce your rigid little rules onto ME? If you like labels and only commit strictly with someone once those labels are established, good for you! Do you!
But don't go on the internet, read the stuff someone shares (which doesn't paint the whole picture, mind you, because I'm not sharing my whole goddamn life biography on here) and then go running into their inbox and yell at them for their choices, or because their choices differs from yours. Don't do that because you don't KNOW them. Don't act like you know everything from the small details you've read. Yes, I share things on here, but only things I'm comfortable sharing. Surface level shit, basically.
What you think is normal isn't always someone else's normal. Please remember that.
The way some of you act in my inbox... It's embarrassing at best and disgustingly rude and kind of intrusive and also insulting at worst. And because you've got the anon feature on, you think you can just say anything. (That's a whole other rant I've been wanting to get off my chest. I've got a few drafts I've never posted that are from months ago lmfao).
Now, to tone down the aggressiveness for a fraction of as second, I get you care about me and it's probably coming from a good place, but I am TWENTY. THREE.
Let me remind you.
TWENTY THREE.
Not three.
Not thirteen.
TWENTY. FUCKING. THREE.
I can make my own decisions. I am a legal adult, probably moreso than some of you out here coming into my inbox and full on trying to start an interrogation with me like I did something wrong for wanting to do things MY way for MY relationship.
And SLIGHTING me for my choices is where I'm setting the hard boundary at.
DO NOT, and I repeat:
DO NOT...
...under any circumstances, come into my inbox and act like I'm a dumb fucking bitch. (I am a dumb fucking bitch, but I'm also a self aware dumb fucking bitch. There's a difference.)
I know what I'm doing, I know the consequences, I know what I'm in for. I'm not fucking stupid and naive. I'm not a 13 year old about to start her first relationship with her high school crush.
So stop treating me like a donkey, and stop questioning my choices. Remember, as harsh as this sounds, some of you need to hear this and REALISE this: You've got no place in my life to do that. Absolutely fucking none.
Learn to read the room and learn that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.
OH, I need to add this here. Before some of you come into my inbox and ask me WHY I'm sharing shit if I'm not open to opinions on my choices... There's a difference between opinions and civil discussions, and crossing someone's boundaries and questioning their choices because you think YOUR way of doing things is the right way to do things.
Just because I share some stuff on here doesn't mean that warrants you an automatic pass to shit on my choices. Fuck that bullshit, because that's just shitty behaviour and you need to look inwards and realise you're doing a lot more harm than good by being a piece of shit to someone you essentially do not know.
Remember, if you won't say this shit to someone in real life while looking them in the eyes, then don't fucking say it on anon in some stranger's inbox. That's a dick move, and you're a prick if you do that. Fix yourself, for the sake of humanity.
That is all.
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moomeecore · 6 months
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i found a book abt the anti lawn movement at the library & decided to sit out in my yard & read it. but ironically there was a neverending barage of power tool noises making it difficult to focus. so i walked to a nature park near me in order to escape the dreaded sounds. almost stopped at the mowed picnic table area bc i hate walking but fortunately pushed forward and made myself walk up an annoying hill to an area that is a preservation of a native oak savanna & sat down against a tree near the edge of the path & did my reading there. and honest to god that was a 100/10 experience. there was something so powerful abt being in a preserve for a locally native habitat while reading abt the impacts homeowners can have on native plant preservation! it powered up my energy towards my life mission (evangelize abt enviormentally sustainable gardening to every single person who comes within a 10 ft radius of me) by like. 15 points. also a deer walked up to me and that was super cool
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bahrmp3 · 11 months
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personal log, stardate 47329.4. i finally realized why i've had trouble sleeping the last few nights. yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the massacre at wolf 359... the fourth anniversary of jennifer's death.
[ID: 13 gifs from season 2, episode 9 “second sight” from the tv series “star trek: deep space nine”, the gifs show benjamin sisko and jake sisko within their personal quarters. it is late, and benjamin was up late, and jake wakes up and comes to find him.
1st gif: sisko is up late, he is still in the starfleet uniform while seated on the couch. he reminisces about the fourth aniversary of jennifer's passing and thinks to himself, "i'm not sure what bothers me more, the date itself or the fact that it almost passed unnoticed." behind him, the door opens and he turns towards it.
2nd gif: jakes comes through the door, he is surprised to see his dad still up, "dad, what are you doing up?" and grabs an apple and then puts it back again. sisko tells him, "i was about to ask you the same thing."
3rd gif: "i-i had a weird dream." jake replies as he comes to sit next to benjamin on the couch. "get some hot chocolate and tell me about it." benjamin tells him.
4th gif: "nah, it's nothing." jake takes a seat and benjamin wraps his arm around jake. "ah, come on. tell me about this weird dream."
5th gif: "it's stupid." jake tells his dad. "maybe so."
6th gif: the camera cuts to a different angle showing benjamin from the front and jake from the side up close. "but the thing about dreams is if you talk about them they kind of go away faster." benjamin reassures jake.
7th, 8th, 9th gif: the camera cuts to a different angle showing benjamin from the side and jake from the front up close. "okay, but don't laugh." jake tells benjamin, and he reassures jake, "i promise." jake starts narrating his dream, "i don't know, i was... i was on the station somewhere, i'm not sure where, and i was trying to get back here but i couldn't... i couldn't find my way. i mean, every time i saw a familiar corridor it kind of led into some other direction."
10th gif: the camera cuts to a different angle showing benjamin from the front and jake from the side up close. jake stops narrating his dream, and tells his dad, "see, i told you it was stupid." but benjamin encourages him to continue, "you got me interested."
11th, 12th gif: jake continues narrating his dream, he is gesturing with his hands as he speaks, "well, then... i guess i got a little scared and started looking for you. but i couldn't find you. some... somehow i ended up in ops but you weren't in your... you weren't in your office. and... and then it was like... like the floor started sloping and... and i couldn't keep my balance. and all i wanted to do was find you."
13th: the camera cuts to a different angle showing benjamin from the front and jake from the side up close. "and here i am." benjamin reassures jake of his presence. /end ID]
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ilynpilled · 7 months
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i can fully understand the gripes with certain misogynistic tropes/writing issues that are present in the execution of some of cersei’s writing, but i will never understand the “she should have a redemption arc” or “she should be more likeable/less morally dark” perspective. that is not what her character is or has to be to make it great. wanting more female anti-heroes or “redemption arcs” with moral greyness and complexity of the level that asoiaf gives to primarily male characters is entirely understandable, but do some of you people even like cersei as a character, like at its core? like this is not about criticising the execution of certain things when it comes to this character, this is about taking issue with her as a villain fundamentally, which i just do not agree with at all
#i also do not understand why she is juxtaposed only w her brothers#in this respect#like if u wanna take issue w not as many female anti heroes that r allowed the level of true moral greyness of j theon etc i get that#but thats a whole text problem like a family isnt a monolith they r different characters with different drives its not a competition between#them#all three r dealing w some very very diff things too like they r distinct characters#and i honestly dont think cersei’s character set up works with a redemption story like she specifically is way more interesting as she is#she is a discussion of tropes when it comes the ‘female villain’ and u can take issue w the execution but i like the concept a lot#like she is written the way she is for a reason why do u want her to be a different character entirely#like if u want this why not advocate for george making a female character whose story would actually work with the redemption trope instead#of making their writing weaker and less trope busting#ig i just really like with cersei the idea that her being an evil perpetrator doesnt erase her being a victim of misogyny and vice versa#like i like that challenge that she is deserving of sympathy for these things without the need to redeem her or make her ‘likeable’#patriarchal violence will affect all women#and the story deserves to work just as well with someone u r not supposed to root for#its about the humanization of these people#evil doesnt exist in a vacuum#and it makes perfect sense that these specific systemic conditions create it#and then perpetuate it
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somegrumpynerd · 7 months
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Started reading The Bad Wingmen by @topazshadowwolf and @paddie-ut and it utterly possessed me for a few days so I needed to draw some of my favourite bits
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paellegere · 3 months
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"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them
#.txt#i've gotten to the point of relationship anarchy where i no longer understand the obsession with labeling relationships#there's a post floating around like 'it doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic the point is that they love each other'#and i get the message. however may i propose that distinctions such as that don't even have to matter. consider#bold claim probably. but whatever i didn't have the choice to think about love in a normative way and as a consequence i have thoughts#of course i am thinking about wincest but it applies everywhere. jopzier even#jopson views crozier as a surrogate parent but in an inherently queer way. does that mean he want to fuck his mom? probably not#but the fixation and need for redemption turns the traditionally familial relationship into something far more#do you understand#once you leave the normative behind labels become useless#do sam and dean love each other romantically or platonically or familially? consider: it doesn't matter. there are no words to describe it#their love is queer in the sense that it extends beyond normativity. society holds no sway over them. they are ungovernable#i find it ultimately unhelpful to discuss fiction in normative terms when the characters themselves exist outside of normative society#shows like supernatural and the terror are perfect examples. sam and dean were never normal and franklin crew left normal behind#the arctic doesn't care if you fuck your mom. the impala doesn't care if you kiss your brother#this isn't really about anything i just saw that post the other day and i was like. why doesn't this Hit for me. well this is why#however it IS helpful to discuss fiction set within normative society in relation to normativity. it's relevant!#most stories are not however set within the bounds of normativity. that's kinda the whole point of a lot of fiction#baby i explore relationship anarchy in ways that you couldn't even imagine#<-tldr#i have a tendency to write essays in the notes every time i post something. sorry about that. it feels safer here and i am skittish
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