Tumgik
#long rant about some people in my inbox
dumplingsjinson · 6 months
Text
Let me just uh, set some hard fucking boundaries with some of you people in regards to MY relationship.
Do not keep questioning my choices on MY relationship.
First of all, you're not in this relationship. Let me mess up and find out, if worse comes to worst. Let me fuck around and find out. I'm not going to blame you for not warning me, don't worry. Seriously. So stop questioning me.
Don't keep asking me, "Why don't you label things with him? I think it's bullshit that there are no labels. What's the POINT of this relationship if you're not labelled as such and such? You're just wasting your time. Stop that. It's weird. This doesn't seem right to me. Why call it exclusive if there's no labels?"
Let me fucking date how I want, damn. Let me be in a goddamn relationship how I want, without me needing to explain myself to you. You, who I don't even know. You, who's not even a mere acquaintance of mine. Even my friends aren't questioning me, so who are YOU to question me when you know virtually NOTHING about our relationship?
Why are YOU, as someone who doesn't know the full fucking picture, trying to enforce your rigid little rules onto ME? If you like labels and only commit strictly with someone once those labels are established, good for you! Do you!
But don't go on the internet, read the stuff someone shares (which doesn't paint the whole picture, mind you, because I'm not sharing my whole goddamn life biography on here) and then go running into their inbox and yell at them for their choices, or because their choices differs from yours. Don't do that because you don't KNOW them. Don't act like you know everything from the small details you've read. Yes, I share things on here, but only things I'm comfortable sharing. Surface level shit, basically.
What you think is normal isn't always someone else's normal. Please remember that.
The way some of you act in my inbox... It's embarrassing at best and disgustingly rude and kind of intrusive and also insulting at worst. And because you've got the anon feature on, you think you can just say anything. (That's a whole other rant I've been wanting to get off my chest. I've got a few drafts I've never posted that are from months ago lmfao).
Now, to tone down the aggressiveness for a fraction of as second, I get you care about me and it's probably coming from a good place, but I am TWENTY. THREE.
Let me remind you.
TWENTY THREE.
Not three.
Not thirteen.
TWENTY. FUCKING. THREE.
I can make my own decisions. I am a legal adult, probably moreso than some of you out here coming into my inbox and full on trying to start an interrogation with me like I did something wrong for wanting to do things MY way for MY relationship.
And SLIGHTING me for my choices is where I'm setting the hard boundary at.
DO NOT, and I repeat:
DO NOT...
...under any circumstances, come into my inbox and act like I'm a dumb fucking bitch. (I am a dumb fucking bitch, but I'm also a self aware dumb fucking bitch. There's a difference.)
I know what I'm doing, I know the consequences, I know what I'm in for. I'm not fucking stupid and naive. I'm not a 13 year old about to start her first relationship with her high school crush.
So stop treating me like a donkey, and stop questioning my choices. Remember, as harsh as this sounds, some of you need to hear this and REALISE this: You've got no place in my life to do that. Absolutely fucking none.
Learn to read the room and learn that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.
OH, I need to add this here. Before some of you come into my inbox and ask me WHY I'm sharing shit if I'm not open to opinions on my choices... There's a difference between opinions and civil discussions, and crossing someone's boundaries and questioning their choices because you think YOUR way of doing things is the right way to do things.
Just because I share some stuff on here doesn't mean that warrants you an automatic pass to shit on my choices. Fuck that bullshit, because that's just shitty behaviour and you need to look inwards and realise you're doing a lot more harm than good by being a piece of shit to someone you essentially do not know.
Remember, if you won't say this shit to someone in real life while looking them in the eyes, then don't fucking say it on anon in some stranger's inbox. That's a dick move, and you're a prick if you do that. Fix yourself, for the sake of humanity.
That is all.
70 notes · View notes
dummerjan · 2 months
Text
i just came across ai covers on youtube and people are requesting songs in the comments instead of getting enraged and i am further losing hope in humanity and turning to misanthropy
#meins#for a minute i got really excited about henning may singing take me to church :(#i hate people#have you no appreciation for or understanding of art? clearly not.#why would you want to listen to an ai generated song? even if it sounds like your favourite singer it's not them#it has no feelings to meaning to intention. it is empty and soulless#reading the booklet for sinéad o'connor's album of traditional irish and folk songs gave me so much appreciation for her#she wrote a little bit about each song. why she chose it or what it means to her.#it has added so much to my enjoyment of those songs and i think of it whenver i listen to it#they were chosen with intention with love with a deep appreciation for the music and lyrics and there is a story behind it all#it is art and love and human#i see aboslutely no appeal in ai generated 'music' or 'art'#and i hate that i fell for it for a minute#i was sceptical because i had never heard of henning may covering hozier and since it wasn't just 20-60 sec i am certain#i would have heard about it by now#and something was just a little bit... unsatisfying? something was missing which does apply to a lot of cover songs#(i could go on hour long rants about why people fuck up danny boy (and sinéad o'connor does it best (because she actually takes her time)#or trash madonna's version of don't cry for me argentina (again a song ruined for by everybody else but sinéad - once she has sung somethin#i have a hard time enjoying it by anybody else. the parting glass is an exception. hozier's version is phenomenal))#but! henning may not giving it his all for a cover? unlikely. very unlikely.#anyway this concludes my tuesday night rant. rather here in the tags than some poor person's inbox.#or i would have kept fuming by myself for another hour or two
17 notes · View notes
svsss-fanon-exposed · 5 months
Text
Welcome!
This is your official-unofficial source for all things SVSSS fanon-debunking! As a veteran reader of MXTX's least popular novel and someone with a PhD in SVSSS literature, I have taken on the arduous task of separating fact from fiction... or well, specifically, canon from fanon.
《 Disclaimer: The purpose of this blog is textual analysis, not to tell people what fanon or canon material to use or not to use in their fanworks, or to make moral judgments on the way people interpret the text. Please see my faq and psa tags for more about my views on the matter. 》
There is a significant affliction within this fandom, where fanon ideas are assumed to be canonical facts-- to the point where sometimes fanon will even end up on the official SVSSS wiki 😱😱😱!!!
I've met quite a lot of people who are surprised to find out that something they think is canon is actually fanon, and even a few that are the other way around, so I've decided to start this blog to help people sort it out!
My credentials and qualifications are as follows:
PhD in SVSSS literature (awarded to me by a disgruntled SJ apologist).
A good minimum of 50-75% of available brain-space devoted to SVSSS at all times
Consummate knowledge of minute lore details
Near-memorization of a good portion of the novel, with the added ability to find any quote within 10 minutes of searching (in both EN and CN)
Author of a fic that is currently over 300k words long and counting, which was originally written out of spite for fanon portrayals of certain characters and themes
The ability to write 5k+ rants about any given topic in the space of an afternoon
--------------------
How this blog works:
You, dear reader, send in a suspected fanon topic to my askbox. Or perhaps it's something you suspect to be canon, but would like confirmation on.
I will then write a post on this topic (on no set schedule, I go as the wind takes me~), first applying a rating (more details below), then adding further information as needed. Topics with either support or rebuttal in canon will have quoted evidence presented, those without either of those things will simply have a brief explanation.
I will also add some analysis or potential interpretations and readings but I will do my best not to add my pure opinions to these posts-- this blog is about textual evidence! So, do not reblog my posts to argue with me based on your headcanons! If you want to argue against one of my posts, provide a quoted source from the novel!
Otherwise, I will most likely block you :>
Any hateful content or attempts to start fandom wank on my posts or in my inbox will get deleted and blocked. Anyone who provides textual evidence that changes my rating or analysis will be very much appreciated and receive the Golden Cucumber Award.
At the end of the day, this blog is entirely about canonical textual analysis and has no bearing whatsoever on what people want to headcanon or use in their fics. It's fandom. Do Whatever You Want Forever. Who am I to say you can't use a certain headcanon?
Just please treat headcanons as headcanons. No matter how deeply-entrenched into fanon they may be, they're still not canon and shouldn't be treated as such.
If you're of the mind that you'll still do whatever you want without regards for canon, then you're probably not the intended audience for this blog. If you're someone who wants to clarify whether a popular idea has a basis in canon or not, then read on to learn more about the rating system and see already-discussed topics!
--------------------
Rating System
WHAT DO I CONSIDER CANON? (please read before commenting)
Each exposed fanon or canon will receive a rating and analysis. The ratings are interpreted as follows:
CANON - This fact is directly or indirectly supported by the text! If you want to stay true to canon, this should be treated as fact.
FANON - SUPPORTED - Though the text doesn't directly state this is true, it is a very likely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.
FANON - NEUTRAL - The text neither confirms or denies this. It may be true or it may be false, and the matter is entirely up for interpretation. Many fanon will likely fall into this category, and whether you adopt it or not won't affect how true to canon your interpretations are.
FANON - UNSUPPORTED - While the text may not be directly against this headcanon, it is still an unlikely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.
FANON - CONFLICTING - The text goes directly against this interpretation, and there are quotes that prove it to be incorrect. If you wish to stay true to canon, it's best not to include this idea.
--------------------
Awards:
I will give out three awards on this blog for those who assist me in keeping fanon and canon separate!
The Bronze Cucumber Award will be given to anyone who reblogs my post and adds significant additional context in support of/explaining my analysis. This may be textual context or "support" context (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes/etc.). Since this fandom likes to analyze, I will only be giving out this award to those who specifically add details and ideas that are not rooted in my original analysis (such as, a quote from a completely different part of the book, or a linguistic explanation that provides context), rather than those who simply expand on what I already wrote.
The Silver Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my analysis posts with a source telling the origin of a particular fanon idea. This is wonderful for archival purposes-- just as it's good to see where canon ideas come from, it can also be helpful to know where a fanon idea originated, in order to have proper context. Only the first responder to provide a fanon origin will receive the award (so that this blog doesn't get too clogged up).
The Golden Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my posts with a debunking of my analysis-- as long as they provide directly-quoted evidence that disproves my points. This evidence should be based on the text of the novel itself, and I should be able to look it up in my own copy. I will be more selective with giving out golden cucumbers to reblogs that debunk on the basis of "support" elements (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes, etc.) because many of those topics can be somewhat subjective.
--------------------
Previously-Tackled Concepts
(See below the cut for a full list)
CANON
CQMS Twelve Peaks' have Color-Coded Uniforms
Shen Yuan has a Younger Sister
Mobei-jun has Blue Eyes
Shen Yuan is a Monster Nerd
Airplane was a Child of Divorced Parents
Ning Yingying is Younger than Luo Binghe
FANON - SUPPORTED
Shen Jiu Only Goes to Brothels to Sleep, Not to Have Sex
Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua Eventually Get Married
FANON - NEUTRAL
Shen Qingqiu is Banned from Xian Shu Peak
Shen Qingqiu Wears a Cinnabar Mark on his Forehead
Shen Yuan Wore Glasses in his Previous Life
FANON - UNSUPPORTED
Shen Yuan was Chronically/Terminally Ill in his First Life
Shen Yuan was a Socially Awkward, Introverted Shut-In By Nature
Luo Binghe has Curly Hair
Aphrodisiac-Producing Plants are an Ever-Present Danger in the World of PIDW
FANON - CONFLICTING
Ming Fan was Head Disciple of Qing Jing Peak
Luo Binghe Received Both Scars from the Abyss Scene
Qiu Haitang has More than One Older Brother
Shen Qingqiu has Green Eyes
All Demons Naturally have Forehead Marks
Luo Binghe has a "Stereotypically Masculine" Appearance
Xuan Su is a Large, Broad, Imposing-Looking Sword
Shen Yuan's Original Body Closely Resembled Shen Qingqiu's
Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were Meant to End Up Together in the Original Draft of PIDW
CANON EXAMINED
Shen Yuan's PIDW-Reading Timeline
Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Hierarchy (tag)
The Pre-Canon Timeline and Character Ages
143 notes · View notes
pearl-likes-pi · 25 days
Note
i honestly dont know hoe to say this, but you really had a hand in shaping my brai chemistry while i was growing up, no kidding. i remember when i was 13 or so and whenever you posted a pearl rap career chapter it would unironicaly make my day (specially when you dropped the peridot chapter i had a stomach infection or smth, so that video and the last one out of beach city episode were on replay for me for a few days). its really weird seeing that rebecca managed to make a safe space for lgbt folks (it was really hard for me to accept myself as gay, it seems really simple nowadays but back then it was so discomforting to even thinm about it so su and its fandom, and by some extent, your vids, helped me externalize some feelings or queernes i guess, do you remeber when someone said your video editing was raw and masculine? lol). anyways, its wild to think i was in 5th grade when i first watched laser light canon and now im finishing my journalism course in college and seeing how this show raised me in some way and helped me to be aware of my own mental health i only have good memories, thankfully, and its really sad to see that it ended, but i honestly wouldnt have had it any other way. its kind of a long rant but id like to thank you, mackenzie, your videos made me laugh a lot when i was a teen and they still make me now. this show was truly a gift, it made us connect to something bigger and magical. this was kind of a long rant since ive kinda forgotten that su existed and remined that it existed because of some dreams lol. i remembered back then when i was super anxious about the cluster episode, i remeber checking your tumblr everyday and seeing fanon content. i really dont know how to express myself since english is not my first language and i tend to ramble on a lot on my native one, but id like to say youve made me smile a lot, it was so cool seeing you present the su podcast and being an intern at CN. i honestly wish you the best.
Dude it means so much to hear that my lil shitposts have had an impact on people!!!! I completely understand where youre coming from re: SU's impact on your life (and acceptance of queer identity) and feel the same way!!! im so grateful for this show and everything it represents. in a world without Steven Universe my current life would be completely unrecognizable. like genuinely I dont think any single aspect of my life would be the way it is without SU. which is nuts but it's true!!!
I love engaging with this community and it gave me a lot of support when I was at a place in my life where I felt pretty isolated. I'm kind of rambling now too but this seriously has been sitting in my inbox for a bit now and I just knew i needed to respond and say thank you for sharing. <3
ALSO LMAO I FORGOT ABT THE RAW AND MASCULINE COMMENT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME HAHA
127 notes · View notes
the-s1lly-corner · 6 months
Note
Hii! Idk if you've ever done something similar, but what do you think about TADC x Skater! Reader? Like, Reader always have their skates on, like it's a part of their digital costume or smth. And i really mean ALWAYS. Someone spilled water on the floor? Reader slips down. They go on an adventure and a part of the floor is inclined? (Like a hill for example) There goes reader down the hill. I think it would be pretty funny lol
Btw, i really love your page, keep it up and don't overwork yourself
TADC cast x rollerskater!reader
Anon I am so so so sorry !! I dont know if I personally got jumbled up or my inbox has been wonky silly goofy or I just got thrown off because of so many people sending stuff in, but I also missed this as well as some other requests 😭😭
This one may be a little short since I've never skated <\3
Written this as more platonic leaning !
Tumblr media
CAINE:
Probably poofs himself his own rollerskates, literally the only time you see him on the ground and it's so weird to look at. You guys both slip and fall because bubble wiped themselves across the floor or something
Obviously leads to bubble getting popped
Honestly seeing caine struggle to keep steady while using the rollerskates is... very funny.. look at his lil legs wobble (tell anyone and he will tilt the ground of the next IHA)
POMNI:
Honestly she would probably slip on the floor too if its wet or has marbles. She looks like she would comically fall over, with her legs flinging straight up into the air before plopping down
Looks at you confused as you visibly try to calculate how fast this one little slope will make you go, she probably forgets you have skater feet in the beginning
Subconsciously tries to grab and stop you when you start rolling, but because shes so small you just drag her with you
Theres that squeaky noise as shes being dragged across the floor
Yk the sound
JAX:
Throws marbles on the floor as well as other things that can make you stumble or slip... probably soaps up the floor.. thank god hes just a circus rmemeber and not like, a ringmaster... this dude would tolt the floor in so many different angles just to fuck with you... thankfully, he cant do that!
Though in another timeline... perhaps you werent so lucky...
Not much to be said here, with the bit with zooble in the pilot (the arm thing), jax is more than ready to use peoples unique digital qualities to please him or mess with them, and you being his friend only makes you slightly less likely to be messed with
RAGATHA:
Keeps a hand on your shoulder when she notices the floor is tilted, tends to walk with you while holding your shoulder still. She can only imagine what it's like to be s victim of slopes.. it would drive her nuts.. as long as shes around shes going to do her damndest to make sure you dont roll away or slip... unless jax literally throws marbles in front of you two at the very last second because who can predict that..?
In any case where theres an IHA with a DEEP slope I think she just might resort to carrying you so you dont go FLYING down
ZOOBLE:
Okay you guys might not have the same issues but they can relate to you in the jax department, with him using your qualities to his advantage. Its absolute hell.. I think it would be this shared thing that leads to you guys building a relationship in the first place
That one meme where it's two people at the bar and they overhear each other saying "I hate (x)" then they start making out
Thats you guys ranting about the bunny/j
Offered you some parts before realizing that you cant swap out your limbs like they can
"Ah, bummer"
KINGER:
Has probably asked you why you dont just take them off when you vent to him about jax putting marbles on the floor. Kind of sounds like when people say shit such as "oh you're depressed? Just cheer up!" But like, kinger says it in a genuinely.. not malicious or tone deaf way.. like I dontt think he knows, or perhaps he thinks you're like zooble with detachable limbs and you have another pair of feet hanging around somewhere
Gives a soft "oh.. " when you demonstrate that they are attatched to you
Offers to let you strap pillows to yourself to soften any blows when you fall, let's you have his softest and thickest pillows... what do you mean it throws off your balance...?
GANGLE:
You have probably accidentally rammed into her after misjudging how steep a hill on the ground was
Good news! She stopped your momentum!
Bad news, shes all tangled up in your skates (owie!) And her comedy mask is broken (oh no!)
Please be careful getting her out. We don't want her ribbons to tear or get damaged, we cant have our girl start fraying!
140 notes · View notes
poraphia · 8 months
Note
First of all, I love your writing! Your style is amazing and your writing is the standard I aim for. Could you do a Wilbur x female reader where Wilbur and y/n are having a long distance relationship and y/n is having a very depressive, unhealthy episode so Wilbur decides to visit her while he’s on tour? You don’t have to do this if there are any problems with my request, thank you :)
"Don’t Tell My Boyfriend"
wilbur x depressed!reader 1355 words • 8.27.23 Decided to combine requests :) @ax-y10 requested something with the lyric "Don't tell my boyfriend, its not what he's made for" and then there's anon! Who was in fact super sweet I remember verbally aww'ing when I saw this in my inbox so thank you so much!! I hope you guys enjoy :) this is super unedited and I'm super sorry! Just trying to get back into writing again Wilbur soot masterlist here &lt;-
"Don't tell my boyfriend. It's not what he's made for. What was I made for?"
♡♡♡
I love my boyfriend, I really do.
“(y/n), are you sure you don’t want to come to tomorrow night’s gig? We haven’t seen each other in so long, and I miss you so much..”
“I know, honey, it’s just I’m so caught up with work and I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to even come. I’m really sorry.”
But there are some lies here and there I have to slip out.
Wilbur sighed on the other side of the phone. I buried myself deeper into my pillow, hiding from the world with thick duvet covers.
“Okay, well… I’m getting off the plane right now. I guess I’ll call you tonight or something. I don’t know.” His words were laced with hurt and a sense of betrayal. I clenched my jaw to prevent the sobs aching in my throat.
“Y-Yeah, I’ll see you. I love you.” I mumbled.
“Love you too.” With that, he clicked off of the call. I dropped my phone onto the floor of my bedroom, sitting up to look around the mess of the room I’ve chosen to sulk in. It hasn’t been a good few days, or rather, weeks, recently. I lost my job, the appetite to even eat, to get up and go outside, hell, I don’t even remember the color of my carpet floor since it’s just a layer of clothes I’ve yet to wash.
Wilbur has been too busy on tour for us to regularly call and check in on each other, so it’s been better to keep quiet about what I’ve been going through. The last thing I wanted was for him to be all worried about me when he was supposed to be out there living his dreams as a famous musician playing for countries of many. Recently, he’s been touring in my country and he just landed near my hometown. For months we talked about seeing each other again, and how the distance has been treating us poorly. It ruined our sleep schedules sometimes, but it was all worth it just to spend a few hours together.
I clutched my pillows tightly, burying my face from the world around me. I disappointed Wilbur yet again. Just last month we were fantasizing about this moment.
“I wish I could spend a week in your hometown, love!” He sighed dreamily as he spun around his office chair. I giggled, working on an assignment while listening to the man rant.
“Oh, yeah? What’s so exciting about my hometown?” I asked. I glanced up to look at his webcam, as he stared with ecstatic eyes.
“Well, you, of course. But I wanna see where you grew up, the people, what kind of food you ate— The history! Oh my god, especially the history.” He exclaimed. I shook my head, amused by his antics.
“You’re adorable,” I mumbled.
“Hm?” He hummed, but it was obvious that he heard me with that slick smile.
“You know you are, you cheeky bitch.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I let the tears stain my pillowcase, letting the sobs agonizingly echo throughout my apartment. I had no energy, not even to love and support my boyfriend. Nothing made me more than feel like the biggest disappointment in his life. Slowly, I drifted to sleep with only the thoughts of Wilbur me shunning me after this occupying my mind. How the next time we’ll see each others faces, he’ll only have his eyebrows knitted closely together while avoiding all eye contact, fidgeting with his hands as he talked.
I’ve ruined this relationship, and I’m scared that I may ruin him too.
I was woken up by the sound of my door creaking open. Immediately I jumped up, clutching my blankets tight to my chest. I backed up against my bed’s headboard as I tried to make out the tall figure standing at my doorway. As my vision started to refocus, I noticed the familiar pattern of curls on the top of the figure’s head.
“W-Wilbur?” I meekly croaked.
The figure stepped forward. I turned to the side to turn on my lamp, and once I turned back around I finally saw his face. His gorgeous, gorgeous face here in front of me. He wore a puffy sweater with a button up underneath. His hair was a mess, and since he’s been traveling for a while he had a slight stuble. But was most noticable was that face of concern. That face that screamed “Oh my god, are you okay?” That face that looked around my room, and most likely my apartment, to see just how much of a mess I truly was.
“(y/n), oh sweetheart, I’m sorry I scared you…” He said, speaking softly as he cupped my cheeks. I placed my hands over his, staring deep into those forest brown eyes.
“I-I…” I was speechless. “H-How did you get in..?” I asked, tilting my head a little. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as they darted across the room. My embarassing state was finally revealed in person, and I felt nothing but shame.
“Remember when we were in call one time and you told me about that spare key you kept in the plant in front of your door?” He explained. He quickly took a hand away from my face to show the key. “I remember…” He smiled.
Fuck, that smile.
That damn smile.
I threw my arms around his neck, holding him tightly as I sobbed into his neck. His hands found themselves around my waist, holding me as close as I can as I let out weeks worth of pain in his embrace.
“It’s okay, (y/n), I got you, I got you I promise…” He whispered softly in my ear,
“I’m sorry—” I choked out. “—I’m so fucking sorry…”
“Why are you sorry, darling?” Wilbur asked. “There’s no reason to be sorry, I promise, sweetheart.” His sweet words pulled on my heartstrings like a puppeteer.
“I-I kept secrets from you. I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t know how you would take it…”
“My sweet girl..” He mumbled. He gently pulled himself off of me, examining my face such as my dark eyebags and chapped lips. “How about this, love. I get a warm bath started for you, and while you relax in the bath I’ll clean up your apartment then we can order food to eat together while watching your favorite show. How does that sound? Does that sound good?”
His features were soften and glowing under the warm light illuminating his face. I gave one more look around the room again. Dishes were scattered everywhere and pens and books were everywhere on my desk.
“You’re gonna clean my place..? That’ll take a while, and I don’t want you to be tired for your concert tomomrrow.” I worried. He shook his head.
“That’s not important to me. What’s more important is seeing you well taken care of. That’s what matters to me sweetheart. I could have a concert tonight and I would still drop it all for you.”
As if heaven sent me an angel, he gave me a smile almost as beautiful as Aphrodite’s as my heart ran marathons for the man before me. My hands that were behind his head twirled at his hair strands.
“Promise me, baby?” I asked gently.
“How about I show you instead?”
And with that, he picked me up bridal style, twirling me around before crashing his soft pink lips against mine. I hugged him as tight as my strength could muster, smiling into the kiss.
Despite some arguments in my brain, in the end I could really understand one thing about Wilbur.
This is what he was made for.
♡♡♡
a / n ~ I’m really sorry I’ve been slacking lately. I’m in college now! In the meantime, I’m gonna close requests for now until I feel ready again. Thank you sm for the support!
291 notes · View notes
modelbus · 3 months
Note
MODEL HELP-
i just typed a long ass message and it all deleted itself-
question, do you think you want to do another part on cut chaos? No pressure ofc, but I’d be cool! (I have a bunch of ideas for it I’ll send seperate (maybe) feel free to ignore them but like free crappy inspo man)
Request: Y/N is a part of SBI but they aren’t treated that great by the fandom or really the rest of the group. Its not like SBI MEANS to disregard the ‘hate’ towards Y/N like its nothing but they tend to dismiss or just ignore it, of course, they are still really close and care about Y/N, it still just hurts a little that they ignore it. But where the creators don’t realise they’re neglecting their friends emotions, the fans? They are fully aware they constantly joke about Y/N being the worst member of SBI. They are fully aware they also always ‘joke’ about forgetting Y/N exists. They are fully aware that despite Y/N being in as many if not more ‘SBI’ streams or videos than the other creators, they act as if they’re not actually a part of SBI. They are fully aware many of them aren’t joking when they say Y/N is not a member of SBI, or when they say they wish Y/N would stop showing up to streams. They are fully aware that the main ‘joke’ people think of when they think SBI is something along the lines of; “Whos Y/N?” or “Y/N is SO the middle child of the SBI, we all forget them!” or “Y/N? Ohhh you mean the one that’s annoying but its not funny!” .. When the SBI are streaming bedwars 2v2v2’s with a random viewer each game and that viewer happens to end up on Y/N’s team (and be an asshole) they, of course, decide to complain that out of every member they could be teamed with, they got the worst member of SBI! (Even though Y/N and techno practice pvp together regularly and the only person in SBI Y/N can’t kill is techno) While Y/N does what they always do and laughs it off with a SICK comeback (despite how much it hurts when they realise they expected that kind of reaction to being teamed with them), the rest of the SBI seems to snap as though that was their final straw (starting with tommy yelling ‘THATS BULLSHIT’ or smth) and all collectively go on a rant about how shitty most(?) fans treat Y/N, to Y/N’s surprise most of all of the fives chats are agreeing..? Y/N starts to realise maybe they aren’t as hated as they thought.. and maybe, just maybe, they are a lot more loved then they realised.
MODEL I’M SO SORRY MY REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS SO LONG-
Its funny how I’m not motivated to write actual fics but I can write 800 word requests-
LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK!!!
✨🌌🌙 Annon-
I’d love to write more for Cut Chaos! My writing has been all over the place lately because I’ve been really busy (school stuff :/) but I do enjoy writing for that (not-so) little series
Pairing: Gn!Reader X CC!SBI (Tommy, Techno, Phil, Wilbur)
Found Fury
Tumblr media
You aren’t unfamiliar with the term unwanted. If anything, you’ve burrowed yourself a home in the word, splitting it in two. Accepted yourself for what you are.
Quite honestly, if there was a record for ‘most hated SBI member’ it’d go to you. Actually, it wouldn’t, considering how most people don’t even see you as a member of SBI. The forgettable middle child, adrift alone.
There wasn’t much you could do except accept it.
Bothering the others with it was unfathomable. Besides, they’ve surely seen some hint of it. They aren’t quite that blind, even if Wilbur and Techno do wear glasses. And, seeing as how they haven’t said a word… maybe it’s best if you didn’t nag about it.
It’s not that you’re partial to the so-called ‘suffering in silence,’ because you really aren’t. But you’re uniquely acquainted with brushing things off, pretending that your friends’ continued silence doesn’t sting and that being excluded from the group isn’t heart-wrenching. In the end, who really cares what strangers online think?
You can ignore the messages in your inboxes. The emails to your professional email asking if you’re really a part of SBI. All the replies to all your posts. Every fucking comment on every video you’re in.
Sometimes, it piles around you so high that you can’t see past it. Words strung together to form sentences that rephrase ‘Who even are you’ a thousand times. Or the more creative, ‘How do you manage to be unfunny AND annoying’ mixed with a side of scorn. It’s worse when it trends on Twitter after a stream, but who are you to complain?
After all, you’re just lucky to be following SBI around according to Twitter. Blessed to be in their fucking presence.
For the most part, you just hire more mods. And they’re pretty strict with bans, so your chat tends to err on the positive side. Everyone else’s? Well, let’s just say there’s a reason you don’t have their chats open.
Today is no exception.
Bedwars with viewers, everyone being randomly set into 2v2v2. Tommy’s idea, although he’s lost every round that Techno wasn’t on his team. That was mostly due to you sneak attacking him while he targeted Techno, but still.
“POTATOMAN!” Tommy shouts, practically bursting your eardrums. “YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!”
“Christ, mate.” Phil laughs.
“…my ears…” Techno mourns quietly, making both you and Wilbur laugh.
“We’re getting in! We’re getting in!” Tommy says excitedly, and everyone spawns into their teams.
Your heart sinks when you realize you’re with the viewer on white team. Their character, a potato in a suit, stares at you as you walk backward to collect iron and gold from the generator.
You’ve been lucky up until this far, always getting placed with one of the others. Logically, you knew you’d eventually be placed with the random, but part of you still hoped. Still dared to relax into the game.
Potatoman’s character stands there for a few minutes, and you buy wool with your iron.
“Funnel me the gold, Tommy.” Techno says calmly.
“No! Fuck off! This is my gold!”
“You’re just going to walk off the edge with it!”
“No I won’t! When have I ever?!”
“Last game.” Wilbur inputs.
“Wha— I was pushed! That’s different!”
A message pops up in game chat, and your eyes flick to it for a moment, too busy with building a bed defense. When you realize it isn’t Tommy’s death message (it would’ve been really funny, let’s be honest), you do a double take to read it.
<Potatoman> My luck omg
Your eyebrows raise. For a split second, you dare to hope that the viewer is a fan of yours. That they want to be on a team with you. Hope is a dangerous thing; it just makes things worse when it dies.
<Potatoman> Stuck with the worst member &lt;Potatoman> Not even a member fr lmaooo
Ah. And there it is.
Seeing the messages doesn't hurt; it's the fact that you knew to expect it right from the start.
That's not to say you're even the worst member, because in PvP you're a God. Hell, you and Techno train it all the time for fun! Even Tommy cheers when he gets teamed with you in PvP games like this. Being teamed with you for Bedwars was a pretty good thing, in theory.
Always in theory.
Because somehow, someway, you're never liked enough. Never enough for the viewers in general, even. Too annoying, too loud, too imperfect, too showy, too quiet, too anything. And you know to expect that feedback rather than to expect any semblance of compliments.
"At least the so-called 'worst member' didn't walk off the edge, unlike someone on my team." You quip, targeting your words at the viewer.
"Heh?" Techno asks.
"Oh, uh, nothing-"
"Look in chat." Wilbur interrupts.
There's a pause, then:
"THAT'S BULLSHIT!" Tommy screams into his mic. "WHAT THE HELL?!"
"I'm agreeing with the kid here." Techno sighs.
"Actually, we really should talk about how the fans have been online. It's not even a recent thing." Phil says, his calm a stark contrast to Tommy.
"I've seen it a lot too. Let's be clear; everyone here is part of the Sleepy Bois. I made it, I make the rules." Wilbur declares.
"You did not make it!" Tommy protests, but Wilbur doesn't stop for him.
"To make it clear, we won't tolerate any hate of anyone in this group, especially not to the extent that we've been seeing recently."
Your eyes glance over at your chat, already stunned, only to have your jaw slacken when you see that your chat is spamming hearts and "YESYESYES."
"Guys, you don't have to... do this." You try.
"I'm pretty sure we do." Techno deadpans, and you can practically imagine the optifine zoom on his character's face he's probably doing/
"The fans treat you like shit, and we're all tired of it." Wilbur agrees. "It's stupid."
"They're all internet assholes." Tommy chimes in, this time at a reasonable volume.
"So from here on out, anyone who says mean shit to you gets banned. From all of our chats." Your eyes go wide at Phil's words, and you quickly pull up his and Tommy's streams to see what their chats are saying.
But... that can't be right. The outpouring of agreement can't be right. The fans all hate you, you know this. There's no way they're agreeing with Phil, Tommy, Techno, and Wil.
So you open Wilbur's chat, then pull up a YouTube tab for Techno's stream too.
Agreement floods every chat, and for just a moment you can't breathe. You were the supposed forgotten middle child, the one nobody cares to stand up for. But that was wrong, wasn't it?
You are part of the Sleepy Bois, and you're just as deserving as everyone else. Of the fans, of the support, of being able to open chat and not see overwhelming hate.
Of being loved.
123 notes · View notes
luxaryllis · 1 year
Note
Can I request the dorm leaders and Jamil with a little sibling reader who’s like Elementary school young so like a 1st grader? It was their first day of “Big kid school!” (The reader adorably labeled it) and she was so excited to go practically bouncing off the walls and their older sibling was aware it would be their first day but obviously couldn’t be there because they have their own school to be at. Later that day wailing can be heard in the halls and when said students go to check it out they find outside the front of the school gates Crewel holding a sobbing, hysterical child who he’s trying to console who looks all scraped up or covered in dirt hair a mess and they realize it’s the reader and it turns out they ran all the way from their elementary school to NRC to see their big brother instead of going home because it turns out they had a terrible first day of school crying about how some kids were mean and they got pushed around shoved into a dirty puddle stuff like that? Basically made fun of and teased and their reactions to the whole thing? Like who’s drop kicking children? Who’s having the whole school board shut down? Who’s lowkey about to commit murder? Who’s about to burn the building down? and them just coddling the child the rest of the day. This was a long ask but I couldn’t get this out of my mind I’m sorry! Sjfnwnicsnjfkhnsrh I thought it would be precious seeing them soft for a little child sibling😭
First Day Gone Terribly Wrong: Part 1
Note: This was rly cute and gave me a good brainrot, so here you go!
Also, I'm gonna be making the younger sibling gender neutral since you didn't exactly specify what gender you wanted.
Just saying, the younger sibling reader in this is different from the ones on my other younger sibling reader fics. Unless you wanna give those cute and traumatized kids some fluff and comfort, you're free to interpret this sibling as something else entirely or the same.
Characters included: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto
To be included (in part 2, possibly a part 3): Kalim Al-Asim, Jamil Viper, Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud (ft. Ortho Shroud), Malleus Draconia
Reader/the younger sibling is referred to with they/them and as [Name]. And considering the reader is in first grade, I'm assuming that they're around 5 or 6 years old, but I'll be saying 5 year old since that the age most people start grade one, at least where I'm from/from what I know.
Also, because of the fact that Leona is canonically 20 and Falena has a son (who, upon speculation, is around 5), I'll just make the reader Cheka's sibling (for plot reasons, I'll just say that reader is younger than Cheka by just a year or smthg-). Thus, this makes Leona the uncle of [Name] instead of [Name]'s older brother.
Also, the younger sibling may be described in some parts as having similar features as their respective elder brother/s. Like Idia's younger sibling would have blue fire hair like him, Leona's sibling would be a lion beastman, Malleus's sibling has horns, those stuff.
Oh! And Crewel calls [Name] puppy, pup, and other variations because... it's Crewel. And please ignore the semi-obvious plotholes cuz the characters have already went through their respective overblots by the time this whole thing happens-
I'll start trying to upload more works now too!! There's been so much stuff sitting on my inbox, I'm so sorry for making everyone wait.
Word count (including intro): 2864 words
Warning/s: Bullies, Possible OOC, Dorm Leaders + Jamil being protective of their cute sibling (or in Leona's case, nibling), The child cries a lot (IT'S A CHILD!!!), A couple of my personal headcanons would be thrown in sometimes, Not proofread, I accidentally mix up between 2nd and 3rd person I'm so sorry, Tell me if I missed anything
Full fic under the cut!
Intro:
As [Name] was getting ready for their first day of school, they were practically buzzing with excitement.
They've ranted and rambled about their excitement to their sibling/s, refusing to even stand still (much to the dismay of some) as they were given their bag and snacks.
Eventually, it was time for [Name]'s older brother/s/uncle to leave for Night Raven College. Since the child's school was also on Sage Island, they were entrusted in their older brother/uncle's care to head to the island for school.
On the way there, [Name]'s older brother/s/uncle gaze at the lively 5 year old with a fond smile, watching the child chatter about how excited they were for their first day of "big kid school".
Unbeknownst to them, however, there would be a sinister force awaiting the cute 5-year old. Bullies. The worst kind of bullies that left you running away to your big brother/uncle's school for comfort.
Although, unfortunately for the bullies, [Name] has quite the protective family backing them up.
Riddle Rosehearts:
Tumblr media
Riddle's childhood has always been rough and strict, and the same could be said for his younger sibling, [Name]. When his mother had gotten pregnant with you, Riddle was silently and internally fearing for what would become of you. He knew what impact his mother's rules had on a person and he was worried that you learn to be stricter on yourself because of your mother.
Because of that, throughout your childhood, he teaches you to obey your mother, but is a lot softer on you. He wouldn't want you to topple over the sheer amount of pressure he went through. He grew to be protective over you, but he still prioritized his mother's orders over anything else.
After his overblot, however, he tried subtly showing you that it was alright to break some rules if it was harmless. He treated you over at the Clover family bakery to let you have some tarts. And this time, his mother had trusted you in Riddle's care, believing that he wouldn't dare break a rule. Your mother was wrong, but the Rosehearts siblings could care less about it as they were as happy as can be. In the end, both of you weren't caught and you ended up being close friends with Trey and his younger siblings.
When Riddle finally had to see you off at your own school, he was constantly worrying about you. From the moment he dropped you off and you left his sight, terrible situations started sprouting in his head.
He speaks his worries to his trusty vice, Trey, who reassures him that bad things are unlikely to happen. As an attempt to help Riddle, Trey tells him stories about how Trey's own younger siblings had great first days of school. While it did help a lot, he can't help but still be concerned for you in the back of his mind.
However, during lunch break, as the students were eating lunch, crying was suddenly heard nearby. The crying disturbed atleast half the student body, for a variety of reasons, but what bothered Riddle was the fact that he could practically hear you.
At first, he thinks that it's just him being paranoid, but he still decides to check it out. There, he sees Professor Crewel holding his younger sibling, who was crying. His younger sibling, [Name] Rosehearts, was covered in mud and had some traces of the strawberry tart (that Trey made) Riddle had sneaked in the child's lunch on their clothes. Not to mention how messy their hair was and the scratches on their arms and face. The sight made his blood boil.
Who dared to make his sibling cry? How dare they cause tears to fall from their eyes?
Riddle's face turns red, and Cater and Trey (along with any nearby Heartslabyul student) felt as if they were suddenly brought back into Riddle's tyrant phase. The redhead practically stomps over to Crewel and [Name], as his two seniors follow, trying to calm him down.
When Riddle finally reaches his dear sibling, he forces himself to outwardly calm down, and approaches the teacher.
"Professor Crewel, this is my younger sibling. May I know what the situation is?" the dorm leader asks. The dual-haired professor, having seen Rosehearts' little outburst, raised a brow. But the man shrugged off the sight and retold what he knew.
Apparently, Crewel found [Name] running to the school, all dirtied up while crying. The child had been calling out for "Brother Riddle", saying that today was "the worst day ever" through sobs. It was a miracle that Crewel even understood what the little puppy was talking about.
Riddle, who had calmed down a lot better by then, gently took the crying kid in his arms, holding them up. [Name] looks at the new person (who they had just noticed) and their face lights up when they see their elder brother. "Brother Riddle!!", [Name] cries out, wrapping their small arms around Riddle's torso, sobbing even louder.
Riddle immediately comforts his younger sibling, patting them on the back with one hand and quickly moves to go to Heartslabyul to get some privacy. He silently thanks his professor and makes a beeline straight to the Hall of Mirrors, glaring at anyone in his way.
As he finally reaches the comfort of his room, Riddle set you down gently on his bed. By then, both had calmed down, and Riddle kneels on one leg to look at his sibling eye-to-eye. He then asks the child to explain what happened.
When you explained to him what happened with their "bullies", who had made fun of you and pushed you to the ground, along with your strawberry tart after you had refused to share their lunch and dessert with the other kids. This enraged Riddle once more, but he hid it better.
You tried apologizing to Riddle for wasting the food and bothering him, but he only shushed them and gently patted your head, reassuring them that it was okay. Afterwards, he gets them all cleaned up and dressed them in the extra clothes your mother had packed. He then allowed [Name] to take a nap while he goes back to class.
Meanwhile, as the younger Rosehearts slept peacefully, Riddle decided to call up the school that held such disrespectful bullies. When the phone is picked up, he requests to speak to the principal or someone in charge of the first grade students.
When he gets to speak to the person, he starts sharing the same story [Name] told to him and requests that something would be done about the ill-mannered students who acted in pettiness over a child refusing to share their only food to the others. As much as this sounded like a 'karen moment', as the Ramshackle prefect would call it, Riddle spoke with courteousness and acted as if he were in an official debate.
The redhead's confidence and sense of authority, along with the obvious moral side of the topic, won over the other person and the bullies' parents were spoken to, while the bullies were given a severe warning.
Eventually, Riddle requests to his mother and the Headmage that his sibling, [Name] Rosehearts, would be allowed to stay in Night Raven College with Riddle to allow easy transportation between "home" and their school. And also so that Riddle can keep a close eye on his dear sibling, whom he would always protect.
Leona Kingscholar:
Tumblr media
If anyone would ask Leona, he'd say that he wouldn't give a single care in the world when it came to his nephew & nibling. But the thing is, that's not exactly true. While he really does wish the children would stop clinging to him and stop causing trouble everywhere, there's still that small piece in Leona that helped raise these cubs.
The king and queen of the Afterglow Savanna were very busy people after all. And Leona would often be dragged into playing cub-sitter while his older brother and sister-in-law would be too busy. He didn't do any work, as he just supervised the hired nannies to make sure nothing bad would happen to the children.
Most of all, he can't help but somewhat see himself in the younger of his niblings, [Name]. While their existence obviously made Leona third in line for the throne (much to his utter dismay), he saw traces of how the servants would treat him in the way the young cub was treated. At first, Leona could care less. It wasn't his business after all. But upon hearing you cry in one of his original hiding spots (that you must have found on your own), his heart squeezed in his chest and he was brought back to his own childhood, when he himself was crying as no one wanted to play with him or even pay the slightest bit of positive attention to him.
This solidified the idea in his head that if this sort of behavior was still found within Falena's reign as king, Falena wasn't a good king nor a good father after all. Because of that, Leona somewhat took it upon himself to teach the young cub what they need to know. He taught them to be tougher, to be stronger, to not let anyone see weakness. He taught you what he had taught himself as a young child.
It was only after his overblot that Leona realized that you didn't need to be strong, you needed someone else to be strong enough to hold them and comfort them. So he started to teach the young cub to express themselves more, because he now knows that bottling it up won't help at all. He starts teaching them and showing them things he wished he could have done when he was their age.
When it was time for [Name]'s first day in first grade, Leona is left thinking why the heck his brother thought it was a good idea to send them off far from their home land? While the Kingscholar royal family had made arrangements that the young cub would stay with Leona in NRC, Leona can't help but think that this was the kingdom's way of saying that he and [Name] weren't welcome there. After all, there are plenty of schools in the Afterglow Savanna as well, which is where Cheka studies.
Regardless, when he drops his nibling off at their school, he watches over them as they are guided over to their class by a teacher nearby. On seeing that you were safely in your room, he turns and leaves to his school, yawning and muttering to himself.
In contrast to Riddle, Leona barely worries at all. After all, the school knows that they are housing someone of high royal status there, so he doesn't see why anyone would want to mess with his nibling.
So imagine his surprise, disappointment, and annoyance when he realizes that there are in fact kids that had the balls to bully the youngest child of the king of the Afterglow Savannah.
Leona finds out when Ruggie wakes him up from his afternoon nap in the Botanical Garden. The hyena was holding the nibling, who was currently eating their favorite food. The lion cub had tear streaks on their face, some tears still falling, but was mostly calm as they nibbled their food.
Leona saw your scraped knees, scratched arms, and bruised (and slightly bleeding) tail and promptly sat up, demanding to know what happened. Ruggie told him that you had ran to the NRC campus after a couple kids made fun of your lion ears and stepped on your tail, pushing you around.
Hearing all of that made him give out a low growl, tempted to just have those brats sent to the kingdom's prison or even punished for hurting his nibling. He calms himself down, though, when he notices your ears fall down in a sad motion and your tail twitching in pain.
He sighs and orders Ruggie to get a first aid kit and treat your wounds as he has you lay down next to him. While Ruggie left to get the first-aid, Leona silently caresses your ears and hurt tail.
"I'll tell Falena about this. Your parents won't be pleased, but I can promise you that we'll do something about those brats that did this to you," Leona mutters to you as he gently hums a tune to get you to sleep.
The next day, the bullies promptly apologize to you and had to clean the windows and tables after school as a punishment. Though if Leona had any say in the punishment, the bullies would be guaranteed to be in much bigger trouble.
Leona also paid closer attention to you, and even decided to teach you chess, saying that if anyone makes you feel bad about yourself, you should challenge them in chess, because Leona knows that you would win every time.
Azul Ashengrotto:
Tumblr media
Azul, having been a victim of bullying, himself, Azul wanted nothing but the best for you. This meant that he would always make himself appear as a good role model for you, and that he would always make sure that you would be on top of everything.
All this, so that you wouldn't have to go through the same hurtful words he did. He helped you grow out of your shell so you would become much more confident than he was, and taught you just about everything he knows and wants to pass down onto you.
He taught you important techniques in socializing, studying, singing, and even making good first impressions. He was utterly determined on making sure that you wouldn't end up as the crybaby octopus he used to be. He didn't want you to end up hurt from the brutality of the world around you.
He has no idea what came over his parents when they told him that they wanted you, [Name] Ashengrotto, to start first grade in THE SURFACE!! When his parents suggested this, he argued that it was a terrible transition from merfolk to human, especially since [Name] has no idea how to walk on only two legs.
In the end, Azul hesitantly agrees with his parents and gives you some human form potions beforehand so that you can practice walking as a human. He takes a lot of care in making sure that you can make the perfect first impression in school so that you won't get bullied.
As Azul drops you off at school, he reminds you of what you have to do and tells you to always stay safe. He's quite sentimental in seeing you off and worries incessantly the whole day about you.
While he's actually kind of confident that nothing could possibly happen to you, there's still that nagging feeling in the back of his head that says that his efforts wouldn't be enough and that you'd leave him after possibly getting humiliated because of him. Floyd complains that Azul is starting to act like an octopus mother with how he's been acting.
Azul tries reassuring himself despite his worries, but unfortunately for him, one of his biggest nightmares became true. He found out when a knock came on his office door while the Mostro Lounge was dealing with the after-school rush. Opening the door, he's surprised to see his younger sibling there, with unshed tears in their eyes, messy hair, and a bump on their forehead that was sure to bruise.
Azul quickly lets his younger sibling in, fussing about them as he closes the door behind him. He asks you what had happened, though he somewhat knew what had likely gone on with your day.
Apparently, some of the kids there thought that you were an attention-seeker because you kept participating in class and answering the teachers' questions. So they decided that it'd be a good idea to take one of your hard-cover books and hit it on your forehead multiple times while you were getting ready to be dismissed from class.
They had called you a bunch of mean names like "know-it-all", "attention-seeker", "nerd", telling you to "go back under the water, where you came from" and things like that.
Hearing all that, Azul's head suddenly flashed back to when he was younger, and people had bullied him for what may as well be the opposite reasons. People called him "dumb", "a crybaby", and yet people bullied you just because you were smarter.
The thought made him feel guilty for you and kind of angry at himself for letting this happen to you. He then proceeds to gently wipe your tears, which started to fall while you were telling him what happened, and conjures an ice pack for your forehead.
Azul proceeds to spend the rest of the day practically coddling and doting on you, trying to "make up for his mistake".
He also calls up your school, telling them of what happened and started suggesting ways on how the school should punish the bullies. Regardless of what the school ends up doing with the bullies, Azul and the Tweels still make it their personal mission to make the bullies' lives hell for children (be it by scaring them away, or other things).
END!!!!
397 notes · View notes
anticanonsposts · 2 months
Note
maybe konig with reader who has general anxiety disorder? like calming them down when they get worked up and reassuring them?
sorry if you're uncomfortable writing about this, no pressure💞💞
good lord this has been in my inbox for a minute, I am so sorry it took so long!!!!!! but i hope you like it <3
cw: talk about anxiety, bodily symptoms, reader is chubby <3, slight angst, i think thats it, completely sfw
wc: 1, 082
overall headcanons then a little oneshot after
whenever you're anxious...
he’s really good at picking up on this kind of behavior
he can tell when you are really nervous
and in general I think he is really good at picking up on your mood and emotions already
since he also has anxiety I think he would be especially good at keeping tabs on yours 
in public he would literally just give you his left hand and let it go limp, letting you do whatever you wanted to it/with it 
i like to think he would also gently press down on the middle of your back or a shoulder in an attempt to get you to stop tensing up 
he loves how understanding you are of his anxieties so he wants nothing more than to return that back to you
Anxiously, you sat at your desk, trying to distract yourself with your work in front of you. Fortunately your boss had a long list of things for you to do today. You needed something to distract you because last night you and your roommates got into a huge fight. You lived with three other people and last night some drama had gone down, so your anxiety was as high as ever. You had always tried to keep everyone happy, talk about issues when needed, and to be mature about problems. But unfortunately not all of your roommates shared your desire for peace or maturity level. So misunderstanding after miscommunication after another happened, and now you were stuck sitting with so much emotion, your nerves felt like they were on fire. You kept feeling drops in your stomach each time your phone buzzed. The fight had started over text and then escalated to the four of you speaking to each other. Then this morning there was so much tension in the house and everything felt so awkward. Because of some stuff in your past, instability in the home has always made you very nervous and upset. It was your one safe space that was now being threatened. But now everyone seemed to be mad at everyone else and you were trying to pick up the pieces. Once again getting lost in your thoughts, your body jolted again as your phone buzzed. But this time it was a text from your boyfriend König. You had sort of told him what was going on the night before, but you didn’t go into very much detail. However, he knew something was definitely off, in the way you were texting, he could tell that you were not feeling the best. His text was simply asking you how you were feeling. You respond with a quick ‘I’m fine!’ but he sees right through this, and before you know it your phone is buzzing with his picture displayed. Picking up the call, before you can say anything he asks,
“You’re finished working soon ja? I’ll be outside waiting ok?” 
“Thank you König” you reply before you both hang up. 
You were thankful that he never pushed you to give details too fast. Your anxiety was a pretty prominent part of your personality and could be a lot to handle sometimes. But König was very patient with you, always giving you reassurance when you needed it, listening to you talking through your issues while still knowing when to cut you off. He is getting better and better at gauging when you are done ranting and just getting into an obsessive never ending loop of worry. So he usually tries to avert your attention to something else and distract you. 
Finally your shift is over and you head outside and see König parked along the street. As soon as he sees you he gets out of the driver's seat to open the passenger side for you.  
Before you could even say anything, he says, “Do you wanna go to Culvers?” (I’m from the midwest). 
“Yes please.” you reply, giving him a small smile, sliding your left hand into his right.  
The drive there didn’t take very long but König didn’t once ask you about how you were feeling or what had been going on. He instead asked you what he should get since he isn’t as familiar with the delicacy that is midwestern fast food. 
Once you are there, you go inside, receiving the normal amount of stares you two normally do. You being a drop dead gorgeous chubby girl and him being, well, tall. After you two order, get your food, and find a semi-secluded booth he lets you dig in and get a few bites of food in.
“Ok, you’re fed liebling, so, spill. What happened?” he asks, moving his head slightly so his eyes could meet yours. 
Swallowing the bite of food in your mouth, you took a deep breath and told him. Told him how the fight started, what it was about, how you were feeling, how your thoughts were driving you completely insane and that you were drowning in overthinking. That your stomach had hurt all day because of it, and even while you were explaining everything to him, your heartbeat was racing and your breathing became uneven. 
Noticing this, he reached his arm across the table and started rubbing small circles on the inside of your wrist. Taking another deep breath you leaned back in your booth seat. Feeling a lot better that you were able to rant to König, knowing that given his issues with anxiety, that he was never going to judge you. He understood exactly how you felt, and it always hurt his heart to know that you also had issues with anxiety. He never wanted you to feel that pain, so he always made sure to be a listening ear whenever you felt like this. 
“Thank you König” you say, pulling your wrist back so that you are fiddling with his fingers. 
“Of course y/n, its my job.” he responds, softly.
The two of you finish your food, and König drives you to your apartment. After asking him to spend the night, he more than happily agrees. The rest of the night is spent still worrying about your roommates, but finally once everyone is home. You all have a talk in the living room. And König is there, waiting for you in your room when you are done. Drama taken care of, supportive partner, and mind at ease, you finally rest your tired body and mind, cuddled up next to König.
teehee hope you liked it, i have a couple more requests in my inbox that will be out soon! in the meantime if anyone wants anything else, don't be afraid to ask :)
56 notes · View notes
hetalia-club · 6 months
Text
I'm not normally one to rant or anything but here goes.
I hesitate to tag this. but I feel it needs to be said, in fact I feel it HAS to be said or I think this fandom is just going to be done for within the next 5 or so years. People need to read this and understand what is happening within the fandom and not continue this behavior or turn a blind eye to it.
This fandom has a SERIOUS problem. I don't say that lightly either. I feel like 99% of this fandom are sweet and caring people. but we have that 1%.
This 1% is killing the community in this fandom. How is it okay to message someone, demand they make a statement on THEIR blog and when they say they don't want to talk about it you then tell them you wish they would die a horrible death?
TW for suicide and SA! (you have been warned) Long rant below. (preempted note to let everyone know that I am fine, I am not posting this for people to feel bad for me. I am using my own experiences as examples, but this is not a 'me' issue this is a fandom issue)
Why is that so normalized here? The vague blogging and the call to arms people in this fandom do is actually disgusting. Picking one person and just beating them down until they eventually leave the fandom and at the SAME people will be like. "Why is the Hetalia fandom so small?" Who wants to be in a fandom where making one statement that's not even bad could get you death threats?
I don't think the fandom realizes how hurtful what they say can be. Sure you might not have liked a post someone made because you disagreed. Well then scroll down, hit the block button and carry on with your life. Why do some of you feel it is acceptable behavior to make mass posts calling out someone or going into their inbox to tell them you wish they would kill themselves?
I say I don't like Spamano and people say they want me dead. I say I don't want to talk about IRL politics on my parody Hetalia blog and my life and entire country is threatened.
I say we shouldn't insert our ships into everyone's lives and let people ship what they want and not feel forced to appease you. and you guessed it people wish terrible things onto me and my body.
I feel the only way this behavior will change is if we start calling it out more. I know it will feel repetitive but I think ignoring it is only making it worse at this point.
I know a lot of people would read this and think "If you don't like it then leave the fandom" well YOU'RE the issue. This is not normal behavior. These are not actions of someone who is mentality well. Why should I leave a fandom I've been in for 10 years because some idiot cannot handle that I don't like shipping characters together? How is that impacting their life at all?
a few months ago I made a post and it was highjacked and someone totally just took it over and added their own thing onto it talking about SA. Totally out of left field not related to what I posted at all. I simply messaged them and asked them if they could please remove the comment as I am a survivor of SA and it don't think it was funny or appropriate to add onto my post and they just said. "No I can say anything I want to. I was talking about Hetalia so it's fine." like what do you mean no!? Who responds that way? What a normal considerate person would do is say "I'm sorry of course! I can just go make my own post." but no they just left it there. It's still there, won't say which post or who it was because it doesn't matter anymore.
But this is the kind of behavior I'm talking about. This weird entitlement of everyone being so defensive and angry all the time. Just wanting to pick a fight over nothing. You never know if simply saying something like (Example) "I don't really like Austria" Could land you 100 anons all saying they wanted you to off yourself. It's like a game of Russian roulette. It's a very stressful environment for a big creator to be in. All it really takes is the wrong person to see a post you made and disagreed with and all of a sudden they are making posts about you without mentioning your name but are CLEARLY about you saying "This person hates all Austrians, they are a neo-nazi and we should all block them and send them hate and also let's just reword what they said to make it sound 100x worse because people won't read the original post and they will just believe us." Who would want to be a creator in an environment like that?
would you believe me if I told you I still to this day am getting someone in my inbox calling for my r*pe because of the stupid fucking beauty pageant poll I did? Is that not insanity? Who is that person? Wtf is their life? I personally could not imagine sending hate to anyone for any reason, and if I did it would be off of anon and I would say it with my chest. Because in order for someone to push it that far they would have to saying some absolutely terrible stuff to make me take time from my day and life to give them negative energy.
The fandom is shrinking because of the 1% driving them away. They come after artists who draw a character in a way they don't like. They come after writers for depicting a character in a way they disagree with. They go after shippers for portraying their ship 'wrong'. They will comment on people's fun little head canons and just leave the rudest most unnecessary comments thinks like "He wouldn't do that" like okay?? Thanks for your insert betty sue. And it's always when you were never trying to set someone off is when they lose their minds. They do not understand even if a blog is big and has a lot of followers it is still THAT creators blog. they are a person not an identity who just churns out content for just you and they have to say and do whatever you want.
Another thing the 1% like to do on here is they will wait for you to say something and then they will jump to attack a person who does the thing you said you dislike and they will tell that person "blog name XYZ said you are a horrible person and I agree kill yourself" That one is a near direct quote I got not too long ago. I got several like that and actually had to message said creator and say "Why are you mad at me?" and they were completely confused, had no idea how they decided to attack me because of what they said. When I tell you that the 1% are sitting there frothing at the mouth wanting to send hate and death threats I mean that 100%
It's not JUST me either. All creators in the Hetalia fandom I'm sure could tell you about upsetting hate they received and had no idea what they even did or said wrong. I have spoken to former Hetalia blogs ones who I used to call my pals before I went on my hiatus and came back. They all said they left not because they started hating Hetalia but they left for their mental health because the 1% got too bold and unchecked. This was never an issue before quarantine. I know it brought a lot of new fans and that's great! But I also feel along with bringing in some wonderful people it brought in some really dark minded people as well. Saying "Just disable anons and move on" is also not a solution. these people are still here and if they're not bothering me or you they are tormenting someone else because that's what these people do. That 'someone else' may only need the tiniest nudge at the edge and they may just actually hurt themselves. You don't know people. You don't know what everyone is going through. You don't know what someone's life is like outside of here.
PLEASE Please! stop telling people to kill themselves. Stop telling people to go get R**ed in a gutter. Get some help talk to a therapist, a friend, a trusted teacher, a life coach, your parents, your sibling. anyone! And if you don't have anyone in your life you can talk to you can message me and we can talk about what you're going through. I'm sure any other Hetalian on here would say the same thing. Bloggers are real people.
International suicide hotlines
Website to help you find a therapist in your own country and in your price range
I know I will more than likely get hate for posting this. Which is upsetting to just know is going to happen but someone needs to say this because it's getting kind of out of control these last couple months I feel.
if you read this through reblog it, spread it around let the people who NEED to see it see it.
115 notes · View notes
sgiandubh · 10 months
Text
If...
If you think there is no exit plan, you are probably very candid.
If you think they have no support network, you might have an agenda. Or are, again, very candid about how some things work, in that world.
If you think any random Glaswegian will readily tell you, a nice tourist, what you burn to know, you might have no idea of British/Scottish mentality.
It's been two weeks since I started to interact with you, although I feel like I've known a handful of you for a good while. Following and trying to make sense of someone's written rants does that.
You are everything I thought you would be. Kind, thoughtful people. I have met and talked, sometimes at length, to some of the most intelligent, trustworthy, warmhearted, sensible, sensitive and empathic women I've stumbled upon in a long time. You know who you are. I shared in all honesty. You shared in all honesty, I know it. It is all safe with me and I am grateful for the honor. Each one of the tiny gems is safely stocked and your DM words do not travel to other inboxes. I thank you and commend you. You are these two's best fans. Truly.
Know I read and appreciate all your reblogs and comments, even if it would take a very long time to answer them all.
I often wondered what I would do in the statistically not that unlikely (given current location) event of a sighting. Three possibilities exist: 1) nervousness, silly face and shaky hands are no pretty picture; 2) look like an imbecile, take no pic, howl in own's car and then brag about in excited DMs; 3) take a pic praying Freya not to drop the damn phone, then share in private only.
For the life of me, I have no idea why I feel so protective towards two complete strangers. But this is my stand and I am a very stubborn person. I will not budge. I don't give a flying duck about what you might think of me. I share what I want to share about me, and with whom I want to share only: some already know a lot, some almost nothing. And when I go public with something, I believe it in all good faith and to the best of my abilities to be 100% accurate.
I cannot be taunted, angered, coaxed, bribed, lured. Try me. You'll get a nice teflon wall smiling right back at you. I am not going anywhere and I will die on this hill, because I know in my mind and in my heart it is the right one. Not all those who wander are lost.
Tumblr media
172 notes · View notes
beautifulpersonpeach · 10 months
Text
A Rant.
A lot of you have sent me asks about how JK's solo promotions isn't the same as Jimin's and other BTS members, about JK's rumoured all-English album, about BTS doing payola (you can read my views 4th paragraph from the bottom), about how HYBE has apparently destroyed the BTS OT7 agenda...
I don't want to answer y'all for two reasons:
Perhaps some of you are newer followers, but I can only repeat myself so many times. Don't you get bored of hearing me say the same thing over and over again? /gen
I don't share the apprehension, worry, or appetite for speculation and theorizing that I'm seeing from many people on Tumblr and Twitter.
It's very possible I'm the one in La La Land and you all have good reason to be concerned. But the way I see it, a lot of hysteria is being driven by two things: (1) a very myopic pov, as though the time between June 2022 and December 2025 is the most defining period of BTS's solo careers, as though this is the best and only time for any member to make a move, leave their mark, and thrive. And that BTS/BigHit is working on the same timeline.
(2) All these conversations are being driven by people who have brought that toxic hyper-competitive feature of k-pop, inwards, into the group, and now see the members as direct competition in the narrowest and most reductive sense possible.
And I just don't relate.
I don't feel sad for Hobi on how his solo roll-out was 'sabotaged' relative to Jimin's, I don't feel angry for Joon on how his roll-out compared to JK's, I don't feel confused at JK possibly having a full English album, if anything I'm even more excited by how he's pushing himself and I think it suits him given his pronunciation is one of the best in BTS. I know he'll be more involved than with Seven given how long he's been working on his album, I just hope he doesn't sacrifice depth in his artistic and lyrical expression for a shallow, wider reach.
In my very honest opinion.
When BTS talk about wanting to be together for a really really long time, I wonder if people have sat down to really think about what that looks like. Because maybe it's just me, but I don't think it makes sense for a company/group that has operated like BigHit/BTS, to shove their grandest plans for seven individuals into a ~3 year window. Right now, it's JK getting the push, he's been very vocal and consistent about his solo ambitions for the last 4 years, and I'm glad he's getting this shot.
Also,
While I feel BigHit has become bloated and inefficient, the boys are still capable handling their affairs and I feel very comfortable not having all the answers for a business and career that isn't mine.
I have my opinions about how things could be done differently, and I think if people want to voice their dissatisfaction to the company that's obviously fine, but I don't feel sadness, anger, or pity for any of the guys in BTS in Chapter 2. Not for my biases, not for Jungkook, and certainly not for Jimin. And it's getting tedious repeating my unpopular sanctimonious opinions to people who have already made up their minds and really ought to be more honest with themselves.
Speaking of Jimin, it continues to amuse me how the top group of people who just do nawt rate this man, is his solos. It's like dejavu for the discourse around OSTs circa 2018 - 2021 all over again. PJMs complaining about how BigHit was holding him back from doing OSTs, just for Jimin to say he wasn't interested at the time. Or how in 2022 people were fretting in my inbox about how only Jimin hadn't done any solo work/promotions yet and I would put out gentle reminders about how he operates and his tendency to leapfrog the rest when he's ready, then we started getting the producer pics.
Jimin has always been a 'bigger picture' kind of guy so how can anyone blame me for not taking this latest outcry seriously when that man continues to do what he's always done: work in silence, and wow with the result.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Does anyone really think a man with no plans would be airborne every 2 weeks, and that a company with no desire to market him would be paying for and managing those plans?)
Not to be dismissive of people who wanted a stronger American push for Jimin's debut, while I agree he would've benefitted from a more targeted push, I genuinely think Jimin has always been better suited for Europe anyway.
I mean, look at him.
Tumblr media
*
Anon from yesterday said they envisioned Jungkook doing a song/video like Troye Sivan's Rush... I didn't comment on it yesterday, but Anon, personally, I've never seen Jungkook as capable of making a song like that. Jungkook will never make anything like that. The only person in BTS who has the range for that sort of provocation and subtext, is Jimin. And the market that will fully embrace that sort of art isn't America, it's Europe. In my opinion.
Tumblr media
We'll see what his plans are.
Anyway, I'm not sure how more tactfully I can say this, but my blog isn't the place to be if you feel some type of way about seeing Jungkook succeed like this relative to your bias, if you think his promotion and success is at the expense of your bias, and so on. It's not even that I care about some vague OT7 ideal, it's that while I understand the anger and heightened emotions a lot of you feel, I just cannot relate to it. And it won't be enjoyable for either of us if you come to me with asks about it because we think very differently about the group and our relation to BTS.
You can mark this post to revisit in 6 months so we can compare notes.
131 notes · View notes
Arcana Brainrot: Blog Rules, Posting Schedule, Masterlists, Playlist, & Requests/Mini prompts Guidelines
Come chat on the Discord server!
INBOX STATUS: open for mini HCs, closed for full HCs ^.^
BLOG RULES:
Please read request guidelines (below the masterlists) and check if requests are open before sending one! If full requests are closed, it's because I'm working through a backlog so I don't get overwhelmed and delete any new ones that come in. It's also really helpful if you differentiate between mini prompts and full headcanon requests so I know how to reply! Comments and feedback are always welcome!
I don't think it needs to be said but hate isn't welcome here. Of any kind.
Please also keep in mind that this blog is PG-13, so whatever comments you make on it will likely be seen by minors. I take their safety seriously, so if there's anything grossly X rated in the comments (I don't see why there should be) I will delete it. If you continue to comment things like that you will be blocked :)
With my older brother rant out of the way, please enjoy the results of me trying to cope with an endless Vesuvian obsession :D
Posting Schedule
Saturdays: mini-hcs Sundays: answering asks (& maybe some rambles?) Mondays: full-hc Tuesdays: answering asks (& maybe some shitposts?) Wednesdays: Vesuvia Weekly Thursdays & Fridays: rest
MASTERLISTS: oldest to newest, I'll do my best to update as I post.
Because of the link limit for posts, you can find the masterlist for all full headcanons below:
The Arcana HCs : Brainrot's Masterlist
The Arcana HCs : Brainrot's Masterlist, Pt 2
And here is the masterlist for all my mini-prompts, answered ask arcana style:
The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot's Masterlist
The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot’s Masterlist, Pt 2
The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot's Masterlist, Pt 3
The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot's Masterlist, Pt 4
All the recipes posted by the originals devs from the Arcana universe, with pictures of my own creation attempts and descriptions of how it went!
The Arcana Food
Worldbuilding/character analysis essays ^.^ (not a comprehensive list atm, unfortunately)
The Arcana Essays: Brainrot's Masterlist
Vesuviella: my first fanfic. don't get your hopes up (updated sporadically)
Summary: Julian decided to write his own version of Cinderella to be performed in the Community Theatre, and then recruited MC to help him cast the rest of the M6 in the leading roles. Chaos ensues. (There is no determined love interest, MC is friends with the M6 and M6 are all thirsty for MC.)
Vesuviella: All Parts
Arcana Brainrot Playlist: a compilation of all character song suggestions in one Spotify playlist, kept up to date!
Arcana Brainrot Playlist (Spotify)
Arcana Brainrot Playlist (YouTube)
REQUEST/MINI PROMPTS GUIDELINES
Please please please differentiate between mini-prompts and full headcanon requests! It will drastically change how I respond to them
I don't write about toxic/abusive relationships or dynamics between MC and the M6 (I get the appeal, I'm not judging, but it's not for me)
All of my work is PG-13. (yes to romantic/sensual themes and references to painful experiences, no to explicit matter or glorified violence/pain/death/toxicity)
I'm willing to do research for topics I'm not familiar with, but there are plenty of things I can't write about just because I haven't lived it and I know an hour of research wouldn't be enough to be accurate (and respecting other people's experiences is important)
I am unfortunately very familiar with what it's like to have trauma/mental illnesses. That said, while I'm very happy to explore how that impacts MC and their relationships, there are some prompts I may take a very long time to do or just not write at all because they would mess me up
For the most part I will complete requests in the order I receive them
There may also be requests I don't complete or put on hold because I can't force inspiration and I don't like doing things poorly
Please bear in mind that I am more likely to find inspiration for a prompt if I know who to contact to ask questions about it. I read everything that comes in, so if you prefer to stay anonymous there's no pressure
FOR MINI PROMPTS: There is 0 guarantee or expectation that specific mini-prompts get written
The only way I'm able to keep them open permanently is by picking whatever I feel like and periodically deleting the rest (I'm sorry, I'm only one person and I do this on top of a full-time job for free) :')
Both my asks and messages are open because I love hearing from new people! If you abuse that you will be blocked :)
All of the above points have reasons for them, and are therefore subject to change. If you have an idea that you'd really like to see and you're not sure about, just message me! I can either tell you why I can't do it or I can make an exception depending on the case
RELEVANT FANDOM HAPPENINGS (I don't do drama on my page, but these are two posts that provide transparency and accountability for some of the things I've been caught up in)
To the Arcana Fandom, From Brainrot
An update on Rai/Kip
A little note about Dorian
238 notes · View notes
highpri3stess · 1 month
Text
"Why are we hating on JJK writers and fans."
Okay, as a JJK fan, let's list everything that has happened for the past three months. Take a seat and drink water. You're gonna need it. And since you people always think I'm angry, imagine me saying this with the most deadpan tone in the world. I am not angry posting this. I am jaded.
Majority of you are racist. Don't boo me you know it's the truth. Just look at how you guys wanted me to deactivate or tried to gaslight me because I said your fave is supporting a pedo. In FACT. It was a JJK writer who sent my post to that lady who opened me up to a lot of racial abuse from JJK fans. Edit; oh and she didn't apologize for doing that to me btw. I won't expose her though.
And doubling down on the racism, you people do not respect black women in your fandom. Like it is VERY bad. My jjk moots since 2021 up until now still get racial slurs hurled at them because they exist in a space that does not care or defend them. And you see your black moots get racist comments but you want to go "no discourse". I get it. You are a pussy. But to that extent? If you're above 20 and you're still scared of talking about racism in your community or standing up for black writers I am ashamed for you and I am shaming you.
I didn't even see any of you talk about noury on here. Especially ms "I will use the palestinian genocide to hide from criticism." I genuinely hope you at least donated something to her or spoke about her on your other platforms.
The way you guys excuse anything as long as the person is your friend. Because tell me why you people were jumping on Ezra's and Tee's dick, especially after what they both did. Or trying to discredit his racism. Be for real.
The way some of you come for other fandoms. JJK girls, especially that one that deactivated came around to drag aot writers because they said they are "niggerfying" the characters. You go to tr writers and start sending hate, chasing them out. Hell, there are cliques of JJK writers and fans alike on this site. You guys are fucking elitist. You don't like any other person apart from yourselves and it shows. The way you come for how people write x reader "why is she so ghetto". It is ALWAYS you people. Always.
SatoSugu fans are slowly becoming extremely misogynistic. I'd expect that behaviour from dudebros but the moment a girl says they like either of them, they come out of the woodworks. Also, let people ship crack ships in peace. I've been a satosugu girlie long before the season 2 came out and I miss when we were a lot quieter. NanaGo girlies were chill. Can't you copy them at least?
Now moving on to less pending reasons:
I've said this before and I'll say this again, stop tagging "he spat in your mouth and came" or nsfw links with x reader and about 30 plus characters. I get it, we're all burnt out. But even in my busiest of days in university I have NEVER posted that kind of shit. I take my time because writing is a skill and an art. This is not fast fashion.
And stop rewarding anyone who does that. Why are they having 1k notes in 6 hours? What the fuck is up with that?
Do better writing Gojo and hell the entire cast. I get it. Every character has a stereotype attached to them. But come on, 800 words and STILL it is a copy and paste of every other fic? I have to check twice if it is the same author and it's not. It's like every naruto oc fic written in 2016. Same face syndrome but in fic writing.
Writers are getting burned out cause you guys want the same thing over and over again. I hope salt is not the only spice you use because sending hate anons to JJK writers who write outside daddy doms and playboy Gojo is giving that energy. Be for real. These people are giving quality fics, stop chasing them away.
These are my few gripes with you all, because one day is not enough to list every issue I have. If the shoe fits and you rant in my inbox, that's on you. I did tell you to take a seat, drink water and read this in the calmest voice as possible.
53 notes · View notes
my-autism-adhd-blog · 20 days
Note
is it ok for me to hate being autistic, even though i have low support needs? sorry, long rant ahead! i’ve got a lot on my mind
so im a teen who was diagnosed with autism only last year, so im still kinda new to this. over time i realized that i really hate a lot of my audhd traits. i feel like i can’t complain tho, cause i’m getting help for my issues, but i still hate that they’re there in the first place. i hate how i can’t learn in school, because i get so easily overstimulated or unfocused and because of that i have to spend time in the guidance, and i love my counsellor don’t get me wrong, but i wish that i didn’t need to recharge after only 4 hours of school. i wish i could be like my peers who can keep going for the whole day, they don’t miss important discussions, they don’t miss spending time with their friends. i wish i could spend time with my family without at some point hating their voices and thinking of ripping my baby sister’s throat out which i know is bad, and i hate that my brain goes to those thoughts so easily. and nobody around me even understands, they call people autistic as an insult and my friends don’t see why my autism is such a big deal to me but it is. it’s something that’s made my whole life worse. i hate that when i was a kid, i would get meltdowns so easily that my parents would shout at me in public, my peers would laugh at me, and my friends would only stay with me out of pity when really they were talking shit about me behind my back. i just wish i wasn’t autistic. and i hate that i just have to deal with it, because frankly even with my school being farther ahead than most in accommodations it still doesn’t feel like enough. idk, i just wish things was easier.
Hi there,
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. But I can’t dictate what you feel and why you should feel it. I think it’s somewhat normal for self hatred, but I could be totally wrong.
Maybe my followers can provide insights on this, surely some have gone, or are going through a similar situation.
I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your question. But I appreciate the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️
37 notes · View notes
firesnap · 2 months
Note
What really hurts me is that even though I wasn't nearly as involved in his fandom as some others were, I still spent so much time watching, enjoying, and thinking about a server and its lore that he functionally pioneered.
With Dream, I could rationalise it and say that he didn't really have any involvement other than initially creating the server and being a mid-villain for other more interesting characters to bounce off of. but Wilbur? I can't THINK of a storyline on that smp that I loved that didn't have his hands all over it, despite the fact that his character has stopped being my favourite for a long time now.
I'm sorry if you don't want to respond to any more rants in your inbox, I'm just so angry and frustrated because it always seems like the most influential and popular people in the MCYT community nowadays, whether they be Dream Carson or Wilbur, always turn out to be terrible people...
I think that's a problem a lot of the ex-dsmp people are having. I was in the same boat -- the Dream stuff bothered me, greatly, and it took me a while to get back into enjoying the old material, but I could separate it with "well he wasn't minimally involved in the creative aspects of the server."
But like. Wilbur's fingerprints are everywhere. Even on stories that weren't his he still was like a ghost over the story. It's unfortunate, and I don't have any easy answers, but it's going to be a while before I can ever look at that stuff again without feeling bad.
Saying that, I still have friends that write with those characters and, honestly, at this point those characters are more theirs than the cc's. If they continue their work, I'll be there to support them and read.
51 notes · View notes