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verobatto · 4 years

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If this isn't love then why do I thrill?

Destiel meta. 15x16 meta. Foreshadow of another Lovers Separation. SPN spoiler. Drag me away (from you)

Hello my dears! Okay. Even if Cas wasn't in this episode, the title and the opening song are showing us so much Destiel, angsty Destiel but, yes.

Time to wake up

What this song is showing us is, Dean needs to recognize his feelings for Cas and just use his words, before is too late.

One of the scenes that caught my attention was little Travis (who was an innocent representation of TFW, that's why he was changing color of clothes, just like Caitlin, the scene was the kid dressed in red and blue trying to reach a delight! Chocolate, and then the monster (who was a clear mirror of the Empty) attacks the kid, and didn't let him grab the delightful candy.

Then this song...

If I didn't care more than words can say

If I didn't care, would I feel this way?

If this isn't love then why do I thrill?

And what makes my head go 'round and 'round

While my heart stands still?

If I didn't care, would it be the same?

Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?

And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?

Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?

If I didn't care, honey child, more than words can say

If I didn't care, baby, would I feel this way?

Darlin', if this isn’t love, then why do I thrill so much?

And what is it that makes my head go 'round and 'round

While my heart just stands still so much?

If I didn't care, would it be the same?

Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?

And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?

Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?

Okay, obviously you would say, every romantic song is a Destiel song, but this one here is very meaningful for my spec about Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty. He can't stop caring about Cas because he loves him. He cares about him, and he will do something about it.

Ruster Sunrise

Ruster Sunrise is a reference to Dean, is time to Dean to make the difference, the time has ce. Lies should be left to a side. Truth should take it's place and is time to defeat the mosnter. Is a call back to 14x06, in which we had Dean and Jack bonding in a hunt, with this crazy girl Harper who was a Dean's reflection and the one who chooses between her past and her try love (Jack). Longing for their future Encounter.

That episode was a foreshadow of the Destiel break up and the lovers separation, something that will happen soon, I hope not hehe, in the incoming episodes.

There was another call backs to episode from season 2, I will talk more about this in the next meta, but, the one in which Dean found the room 2x12 was the episode in which a shape shifter took Dean's place and got into his mind. It was very funny, because they linked that room to a couple making love.

Another interesting recall was episode 2x13 (room 213), in which Dean confess he doesn't believe in angels, and that unicorns do exist. Before knowing Castiel, the unicorn, love of his life hehehe.

Gid set credit @gracefuldean-archive

Stairs or elevator? Stairs!

When young Dean entered into hat abbandoned storage, we saw it was dirt, dark, gloomy. Could this be a symbolism of the Empty? Yes.

There was then the Empty, and Destiel colors all over. But what about the stairs?

The stairs were BLUE, also a wall was colored in BLUE with a line of red, and the rest of the walls were green.

Dean found death bodies, (children) and they find them again, as a vision, but this time one of the children was young Sam.

But I will talk here about another scene. When Ghost young Dean appears in front of Dean, they were in a corridor.

We could read ELEVATOR behind the fake Dean and STAIRS behind the real adult Dean, and then, Dean is walking down those blue stairs to find the monster. He will be guided by his bond with Cas as those stairs guided him to the monster.

To Conclude:

Dean will go though a very hard moment in which Cas will be dragged away from him. He needs to use his words and express his true feelings for Castiel. That 'I love you' will be very important to the saving process.

The Doba Yoga was the Empty mirror, so we have Dean killing her at the end, and waking up Caitlin. That's a very important point to speculation, but I will be more specific in my TFW meta. So, in synthesis, we had another clue about Dean rescuing Cas from the Empty.

Hope you liked this mini meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @destielshipper221b @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-castiel @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @dwstiel @thislunarkiss @ladygon @shippsblog @la-random-fangirl @lets-try-this-again-please @mychemicalobsession514 @destiel-shipper-11

@asphodelesauvage @2musiclover2

Buenos Aires, October 22 2020, 10:30 PM

#destiel #destiel meta #15x16 meta #spn spoiler

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princessconsuelapark · 3 years

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my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what. Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat) You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

#spn playlist #supernatural playlist #sam and dean playlist #wincest playlist #sam and dean #wincest #sam x dean #spn #supernatural #wincest quotes #wincest song recs #this is how i'm coping with the show ending okay #leave me alone i'm sad #spn s15 #my post #sam winchester #dean winchester #15x20 #the epic love story of sam and dean

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brainrotmeta · 3 years

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I can and will make everything about the vampire diaries

On my rubbernecking journeys, I see a Hot Take that I can't really dismiss with a few snappy lines, but I still fundamentally disagree with: Sam and Dean's ending was just them lifting from Stefan and Damon's.

(Well, I could: okay but TVD's been ripping off SPN wrt to the Salvatore's so fair's fair).

But I do think that's pretty unfair. 'Two characters reunite in heaven and hug' along with 'series finale has callbacks to the pilot' are just staples of stories. A trope, if you were.

The emotional catharsis was pretty different. Dean and Sam's big emotional moment was in the barn with Dean's speech. He owns up to his fears and gives Sam the strength to keep fighting.

I'd argue that Damon and Stefan's emotional catharsis was in Damon going out of his way to find Stefan and then hugging him. It's about him picking Stefan over his love interest for the first time.

Damon and Stefan were also a lot less claustrophobic. Stefan's heaven certainly included Lexi and I'm going to go out on a limb and say, Delena relationship goals including hanging around Stefan's grave indicates that Elena will probably hop over to heaven Salvatore Casa in between hanging out with her family of origin.

While I think Sam and Dean will probably be connected at the hips and visit everyone occasionally in between staring at each other while driving down an endless road in Baby.

Mostly, I find, that destihellers, in particular, flatten storytelling more than most shippers. I think it's because of the culture they were enmeshed in. Destiel is canon meta writers talked about tropes and cliches and parallels much more than... you know... the actual story beats between Cas and dean.

Which might also be behind the wild claim that Misha and Jensen have so much chemistry. The Tropes Demand Epic Chemistry and So They Have Chemistry even though in the actual canon, they tend to stand around awkwardly. Which is really really bemusing because the J2 chemistry was so wild.... it's like licking from an almost empty bottle of ketchup while ignoring to delicious hot fries with fresh ketchup literally sitting on the table in front of you.

#ramblings #also the tvd pair with comparable chemistry with j2 is nina and paul #but ya'll aint ready for that #the vampire dairies

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prince-of-elsinore · 3 years

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Some thoughts I just want to get out there on Dean Winchester's sexuality, John Winchester's parenting, and the politicization of fandom:

I've noticed that a few topics in fandom have become subject to "messaging culture," much in the way that real life issues become heavily politicized. Eventually certain statements end up being used and understood as shorthand for a much broader value system. In those cases, folks are listening to the "message" they hear with the words, rather than to the words themselves, which has the unfortunate effect of shutting down dialogue before it can begin, and dividing people into monolithic camps. Of course, to an extent messaging is inevitable and even useful, but an over-reliance on messaging kills variety and nuance of opinion. To illustrate with a very blatant example of messaging culture, take the phrases "Black Lives Matter" vs. "All Lives Matter." When we hear those phrases we don't hear the words themselves--we hear the message they carry and make assumptions about the speaker based on that. (Here is the article by philosopher Agnes Callard from which I got the phrase "messaging culture," and which uses the same example but goes into much more depth on the phenomenon.)

I noticed this in fandom when I realized that some things I was interested in discussing and exploring didn't line up with the way most fans talked about them, to the point that certain opinions would be practically taboo in certain circles. As it happens, these aren't even topics that I feel particularly strongly about, but they are things I wish I could discuss or make jokes about without feeling the need to put caveats and disclaimers in front of them.

One of the most obvious examples is Dean's sexuality. To generalize (please note this word! I am aware this is a generalization!), the assumption is that anyone who headcanons Dean as bi or even is interested in queer readings of him must ship Destiel. The reverse of this is that to be a true brothers fan, you must believe Dean is straight. I understand why the issue is so touchy, given the long history of this argument in fandom and the unfortunate fact that even Jensen has been dragged into it. I'm sympathetic to the urge to defend Dean's straightness, and I think in many contexts it's appropriate. But I find it frustrating that things have gotten to a point where any content putting the word "bi" or "straight" in proximity to Dean becomes loaded. It's almost impossible not to see an agenda.

For me personally, it's frustrating because while I believe Dean Winchester has probably never wanted to sleep with a man, I find his homosocial relationships fascinating and not without a tinge of the erotic. In terms of fanon, I like several ships involving him with other men. I think he might--just maybe--have had a crush on Dr. Sexy, not that he would ever admit it, maybe not even to himself. I also find categories like "bi" and "straight" limiting, and think sexuality tends to be much more elastic and nuanced in reality than the labels we like to give it. But the point is, sometimes I might like to make a joke about Dean being into guys, or to analyze his character with queer theory. This doesn't mean I think Jensen is homophobic, that I ship Destiel, or even that I headcanon Dean as "bi," precisely.

Another such topic is John's parenting. Here, the gross generalization is that those who are John-negative or believe he was abusive are Dean stans, usually of the Detiel-shipping, Sam-hating variety. Those who are John-positive are Bibros, Wincest shippers, and Sam stans, sometimes of the Dean-hating variety. I understand a bit less about how this fandom fault-line came about. Of course, abuse is always a sensitive topic, but this seems sensitive in a different way: posting any neutral or positive John content can be seen as an affront to Dean, or proof of shipping Wincest, and any content speculating about abuse might mean you're not a true bros fan, that you hate Sam, that you must ship Destiel.

Again, purely personally, I do not hate John Winchester. I also love Dean. I think John is a complex and flawed individual, and that the way he raised his sons messed up both of them, but especially Dean (because he internalized his father's lessons/values so thoroughly), pretty bad. I still find him sympathetic and interesting. I'm also interested, though, in discussions of the show's subtext in regards to abuse, including sexual abuse. I'm interested in fanon that portrays John as explicitly abusive. I'm interested in readings of Dean that see him as a survivor of abuse, both for the light they may shed on his canon character and for the fanon potential. I'm interested in open discussion about the way a father's failings and messy, imperfect love could damage his sons and shape the men they become. It doesn't mean I hate Dean or Sam (or John), and it certainly has nothing to do with how I feel about any ships.

This post is not a call-out aimed at anyone in particular. It's really not. It's just based on general observations and impressions from a lot of small moments. I also didn't write this in a defensive, victimized mindset. Like I said, I don't feel I really have a vested interest in how people view Dean's sexuality or John's parenting--they're just things I had some thoughts on and would like to be able to talk about with folks. But I didn't feel I could share those thoughts without a lot of contextualization and disclaimers, which is what led to this post. I don't have an agenda, except perhaps, if it's not too naive to hope, to create a little space for folks to share thoughts without fear of censure or assumptions being made about their other fandom opinions.

#spn fandom #spn fandom meta #spn meta #spn fandom wank #it's not really wank or at least it's not meant as such but jic #dean meta #john winchester meta #my meta #spn #abuse tw #csa tw

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laora-inn · 4 years

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Supernatural - Destiel in 11x13, or Why this episode shouldn’t be “fixed”

Looks like Billie in the last trailer is a villain, ha? ;) Remember that in 11x02 she said Sam that she will toss any Winchester who’ll die into the Empty? Wonder if she already had a deal with the Empty that time.

Back to Destiel moments in the show which, in my point of view, are underrated by fans. Let’s talk about some episodes in 11th season, shouldn’t we?

I’ve noticed that Destiel-shippers mostly don’t like the episode 11x13, you know, the one with Quareen, who looks like Amara to Dean. Though there are some explanations of this situation from Destiel shippers’ point of view. For example, @charlie-minion, a great meta-writer, whose works I’m absolutely fond of, wrote here:

In case there were still people thinking that Dean and Amara were a good thing, real love, the show gave us an episode about “darkest desires”. The spell that Melissa was given was never about LOVE; it was about something perceived as lustful, codependent, obsessive and selfish (as we learned from Staci, Dan, and Melissa). People expecting the Qareen to take Cas’ form when facing Dean missed the whole point.

I am mostly agree with that, but this episode seems much more complex to me.

Because, you know, Dan, Stacy and Melissa look kinda familiar.

Two of them (Dan and Melissa) are in an established relationship. They even have a baby. Then the third one comes, a strong and possessive one (Stacy). She kissed Dan right after Melissa, in front of the nan cam, just to prove her right on him.

Melissa knows about danger which Stacy represents. Melissa truly loves Dan and wants him back, but chooses the wrong way to return his love. This is how we meet the witch of the week, Sonja, whose plan is not to help Melissa, but to kill ALL OF THEM - Dan, Melissa, Stacy. Looks like this witch just hates the whole world, especially people who love each other. She tries to twist their good feelings and for that uses Quareen, a creature, who takes form of their beloved ones.

I’m not saying that the parallel is absolute, but just think of it: Dean and Cas relationship, both of them EQUALS and caring for Sam, whom Dean is like a parent to. Then Amara comes. She kisses Dean to prove her right on him in 11x09 - after he saved Cas from Rowena’s curse in 11x03 and told about “not marriage, but something” with Sam in 11x04. Cas knows Amara is dangerous, he’s faced her. He also feels unloved and expendable - this message he’s got not only from Amara, but from her also. So, for the sake of being useful, especially for Dean, Cas says “yes” to Lucifer in 11x10. Lucifer, of course, promises to defeat Amara, to save the world (and Dean), although his plan is obviously not to help Cas and Dean with Amara, but to kill all of them. He just hates the whole world, especially people who love each other. Dean and Cas, for instance. He tries to twist their good feelings and for that - oh, guess what? - possesses one of them and looks exactly like him!

So, this episode is not only about Quareen Amara, but also about Lucifer and Destiel situation in the whole 11th season.

Note, that Lucifer in 11x11 doesn’t avoid Dean or reveals himself. He acts like Cas, talks to Dean, listens to him, follows him, even touches him! But he does it in a such way, that makes Dean vulnerable and almost gets him dead. Right after their meeting banshee sees Dean as her victim. And she only hunts for the vulnerable ones.

Quareen kills the victims by seducing them and ripping their hearts out. Lucifer in Cas’s vessel is obviously trying to seduce Dean, though really doesn’t care about Dean or his unwanted attraction to Amara, is going to use him as a bait, and all this crap seems to metaphorically rip the heart out of Dean. So banshee decides: oh, someone is vulnerable here. Just the way the man, who had a quarrel with his beloved wife - he was killed by banshee before.

I think 11x11 was the turning point for Dean. Not only because of confession to Casifer about Amara and his not-caring response, which made Dean vulnerable, but also because of Mildred’s words. She said that Dean is pining for someone and advised him to follow his heart. And after that he had a sleepless night. He is stuck between Amara, who scares him and basically wants him dead as a personality (she wants to devour him, but also doesn’t want it to be a non-consensual act - he is an exception for her), and Cas, whom Dean truly loves, by whom he isn’t loved back. As far as he knows.

Relationship with Cas was always painful and complex - like the life itself. Amara’s wish is to give Dean peace, to free him from all the pain, to give him “sheer bliss” - in death. She is like Cas in 4x22, who also wanted peace for Dean and saw that peace in Apocalypse.

Dean didn’t want to die back then, and his point made Cas fall. Dean doesn’t want to die now. He confessed that in 10x16, where also said, that he wanted to experience certain feelings in a different way. He was pining for someone since then - and even earlier. Of course, Dean isn’t pining for Amara.

He is pining for Cas. And it matters a lot now, when Amara is here. It’s no coincidence that Dean told about his feeling towards Amara to Cas first. Dean wanted help from the person he truly loves. Because true love can beat any evil - we know that from fairy-tales. And in case we forgot, the show Stacy was watching before her heart was ripped out reminded us (quoted from the @charlie-minion post mentioned above):

Devil: True love, all right?

Man #1: Is he gone? Like, gone, gone?

Man #2: True love can get us out of here?

Devil: Yeah.

Man #3: Yeah, I’ve been in love a million times.

My point is these lines refer to Dean and his feeling to Amara. He can be saved from this unhealthy and unwanted dependence only by true love, not by some hook-ups with strangers. He literally had dozens of them by that time, gosh, he had one right before 11x13, and that obviously couldn’t help him.

But Cas is gone, played by the Devil himself. So Dean’s confession about Amara to Casifer didn’t work, and Dean ended up with a heartbreak.

That was result of Cas’s wrong choice.

The same as Melissa from 11x13 (who is called just “Mel” by Dan, Dean’s obvious parallel, by the way), Cas trusted the wrong person.

I totally agree that relationships between Melissa, Dan and Stacy are unhealthy. They are WORSE than the relationships between Cas, Dean and Amara. At least, Dean didn’t lie to Cas, he told about Amara. And not for the single moment he wants to “break up” with Cas.

We also have a bunch of “supernatural” and metaphorical excuses for each of Dean, Cas and even Amara. ‘Cause, you know, Amara isn’t evil - just like Stacy. The real evil is Lucifer - the wicked witch of 11th season. That’s why in 11x23, after the moment Amara kicked Lucifer out of Cas and Dean had him back, he succeed to save the world, to survive and finally met his mother, the person who taught him love. When Lucifer is out, there is no problem for Dean to follow his heart :)

Still, the parallel between Melissa-Dan-Stacy and Cas-Dean-Amara remains. And it’s very clear imao. In the end, I doubt that Dan could leave Melissa either.

This episode also has parallel with Cas and Lucifer interaction. Melissa understood her mistake about dealing with the witch and tries to fix it. In some way she succeeded - she helped Sam.

Cas will show up and try to fix his Lucifer mistake in the next episode, 11x14. He will also help Sam to get out from the situation, created by Lucifer.

If it’s not a parallel to the plot of the WHOLE SEASON, I don’t know, what is it.

And this parallel makes absolutely no sense without unplatonic Destiel perception.

So, 11x13 is an important episode - from Destiel-oriented point of view.

And now let’s talk about two moments in the episode, which, I’m sure, are the main reasons DeanCas shippers don’t like it and don’t analyze it much (maybe I just couldn’t find all the meta, but still).

1) Episode 11x13 starts with Dean, who can hardly walk and has a hickey on his neck. It’s the day after Valentine’s Day, and Dean hooked up with some single lady again. And he is planning to go on.

Well, here we see that Dean isn’t so happy about his “romantic” adventures. He doesn’t feel good, spits the fast-food taken from the fridge (maybe it’s not fresh, like his appearance at all), needs a shower and isn’t interested in a case. He says that on Valentine’s Day you don’t have “to be Mr. Right, just be Mr. Right Now” - and that’s the point. He isn’t Mr. Right himself, he doesn’t have his Mr. Right (true love) with him and probably will not ever have. The truth is he is no different than all the single ladies (and gentlemen) and isn’t happy about it.

We see, that Dean is tired of senseless hook-ups. After them he isn’t fond of himself and stinking.

Later he says he’d go on, and that sounds like thing he has to do, but really doesn’t want. That’s why when he isn’t “lucky”, he also isn’t upset.

For me this scene is rather approving Destiel than vice versa.

2) Quareen looks like Amara to Dean.

Here is the point where I want to comment the statement “People expecting the Qareen to take Cas’ form when facing Dean missed the whole point”.

Sure, Quareen is a dark creature who kills people by ripping their hearts out, and for show it was safer to compare Quareen with Amara. Actually both of them mean death to Dean. Besides, we had two Destiel fights, in 10x22 and 11x03. Cas even had a PTSD after. If Quareen was in Cas’s form, we’d have one more Destiel fight in 11x13, and that’d be catastrophic. They just didn’t want to make Destiel look more unhealthy than it already was.

But the statement “Quareen takes the form of the victim’s deepest darkest desire“ doesn’t necessary mean that it should be someone whom the victim was obsessed with (in the worst sense of this word). Sam said Melissa truly loved Dan, and I believe that. Dan and Stacy could be obsessed by each other, but Melissa? I doubt. She is portrayed as basically innocent person who just made a huge mistake.

More important, Quareen said to Dean:

Amara: I understand, Dean.

Dean: Is that right?

Amara: The longing in your heart, I feel it too.

Dean: (inching towards the knife) Well that’s touching. Consider that you don’t have a heart. Qareen.

Amara: Who I am doesn’t matter. The real question is who are you?

Dean: What do you mean who am I?

Amara: You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame. When it comes to this (touches her body), you can’t help yourself, so why fight it? Just give in.

Quareen told about LOVE. About longing, which is a synonym to “pining” and was used in 10th season to describe a state when somebody is praying to Cas. Cas told to Claire he can feel longing of another person.

So, Quareen feels longing too. And love. That means this creature can take form of a person, who victim truly loves. But, I think, in Dean’s case it’s not obvious, that’s why Quareen talks about mystery and shame, and doesn’t say that Amara is true love here (just someone Dean can’t help himself with). It’s not strange: Dean certainly knows towards whom he feels love, but doesn’t want someone else knows. In fact he tries to forget himself, because is sure that his feelings aren’t mutual.

I think that’s why Dean told to Sam:

Dean: You know the silver lining about being cursed? I’ll finally get some face time with Daisy Duke. My deepest darkest desire.

Sam: Seriously?

Dean: Ever since I was seven.

Sam: So Bach, not Simpson.

Dean: Eh. Guess I wouldn’t say no to either.

From the start Dean didn’t know what this curse was about. Now he is aware and LYING. Daisy Duke isn’t his deepest darkest desire, he doesn’t care for her more than for any other option Sam can offer. He says it himself. Why is he lying?

I’m sure Dean here thought about Cas and didn’t expect to see Amara AT ALL.

Quareen’s point wasn’t to go deep, to understand complex love, cloaked with shame. To Quareen a victim, who can’t help themselves, would be enough. So in Dean’s case Quareen‘s form is far aside from love. It’s the first obvious form, which has a strong influence, and that influence is really bad. Far from love.

So yes, people expecting the Qareen to take Cas’ form IN THIS SITUATION missed the whole point. But simultaneously Dean was such a person HIMSELF, and it could actually work.

I think Dean was expecting to see Cas also because of this conversation:

Dean: Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire?

Sam: She isn’t?

Dean: No! She can’t be!

Sam: Why not?

Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…

Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?

Dean: For starters, yeah.

Dean is already confessed to Casifer he and Amara has some kind of connection. Gosh, he even confessed that to Sam - it wasn’t easy, because Dean IS AFRAID of Amara. He isn’t in denial of the fact of their connection. He just doesn’t like its definition, and I am totally agree with his further line: “Something happens and I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that”.

Within this conversation Dean hasn’t finished the line: “Because if she is that means that I’m...” Sam interrupted him with “Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?“, Dean said “For starters, yeah”. I think, he wanted to say something else. For example, “that means that I’m not in love with Cas. And I love him”. Whatever it would be, I consider Cas would be involved, in Dean’s mind for sure - ‘cause Dean probably couldn’t say something about his Cas-related feelings to Sam.

Anyway, I think there was a reason for Dean to be so sure that “No! She can’t be!”. It’s not fear or denial. He adjusts that something is happening, and I think he understands what love and desire are. This “something” isn’t them.

The chain of events with Quareen is the next: Dean is uncomfortable with his true “darkest desire”, he talks to Sam about the first girl he can remember, a fictional character, by the way, then sees fake Amara, who hasn’t expected to see, she talks to him about his mysterious love, covered in shame and definitely more complex than his feeling for real Amara is, then Sam stabs Quareen’s heart and Dean is like “it couldn’t be Amara, very strange, I love someone else”.

So, if it’s not Amara (accurate) and not random girls to talk with Sam about (accurate), then who the hell it is?!

I think we all know the answer.

From the point of story, to Destiel shippers Quareen looking like Amara is not bad at all. I think this episode is supposed to be a gift for us shippers, but then our own heteronormativity stood on the way and made it hard to see the whole picture.

From the very beginning this episode was full of Destiel: numerous text and plot parallels, which make ABSOLUTELY no sense without implying DeanCas as one of the main points of season 11; Dean tired of senseless hook-ups and unhappy about Valentine’s Day, ‘cause his heart is broken; Dean who wants to hide his true darkest desire from Sam by saying some crap about fictional girls; Quareen‘s words about Dean’s mysterious love, longing, and shame; Dean’s own disagreement with his “love” or “desire” to Amara whom he didn’t suppose to see; his unfinished phrase to Sam.

So no way 11x13 should be “fixed” with adding more Destiel of changing Amara to Cas. It makes no sense.

I wonder how this heavy Destiel content ended up with “Dean loves Amara” perception. The content wasn’t so subtle, you know.

Just how strong our heteronormativity could be?

And how the hell despite of that we manage to get almost canon Destiel relationship? In fact, they are more canon, then any other romance in this story.

______________________ To conclude, I have some difficulties with the tumblr usage for now, but I'd like to communicate with the co-shippers.

So, if you want to hear my opinion about or to point out any Destiel moment in the show, feel free to write to my ask. I’ll try to answer ASAP - we all are in the same boat now, so it’s important to support each other and to share our thoughts. Some kind of therapy, I’d say :)

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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*Sits down at desk*

*calmly files through books in front of a fireplace to classical music* *glances up at the camera* Oh, hello. *demurely pulls off glasses*

What makes a rights movement work? Is it the dialogue? The discourse? The trolling?

Tonight, I thought I’d tell you a little story and let you decide.

---

...*just looks to Good Omens fandom* So we have... *flips through* An accepted canon queer pairing between two leads, with no rival ships. The singular author has been receptive to queer readings, as has both of the actors, even if one clarified he doesn’t “play it like that.” But by authorial support, vague as it was, it was canon.

...*flips channel to season 10 supernatural fandom* So here we have an accusation of queerbait between two leads with a similar story, with several major rival ships. Of the multiple authors, several have been supportive, many silent, one actor said he plays it like that, the other clarified he doesn’t. Antis, often rival-shippers, heckled. Cas was a villain, not a friend.

*Plays through til’ Season 12 - 3 seasons ago - “doesn’t exist”* *1997 popup spam*

... *flips channel to season 13 supernatural fandom* So here we have antis having a panicked discussion about how Dabb could canonize Destiel without any sort of admission or physical engagement for it to be valid, while admitting at the actor that used to say he didn’t play it seems okay with it now, as well as it becoming an official marketing line, which they later denied. They mutually aired at Cas not even being cared for in public, while saying Dean cared more about him than Sam in their own lane. (x) (x) (x) (x) I mean, between them screaming at How Dare They Pander With The 13.05 Ending Being Romantically Shot. But everyone forgot that I guess.

*flips to season 14* Let’s see, genderswap, identical but truncated couple, same landmarks... no rivals... *checks box* cool, everyone sees canon.

...*flips to season 15 fandom* *gestures at the everything, including the storytelling style they described that could be used to be amply canon by time flashbacks and Cas’ death*

*looks at parts of shipping fandom trying to argue with season 10 anti fandom takes, but simultaneously repeating them*

*looks at season 13 anti fandom*

*files through recently sanitized anti walls that went on their third rage tear about the show being pandered by being romantic, since the current showrunner turn over* *clicks channel* “Destiel is real” - Jensen *menu flip* “Sam has better taste/Dean has no taste--” *clicks next* “domestic dispute--” --Jensen after filming 15.09 *clicks* “Our characters would be fucking [on another network]” --Misha after 15.09 *clicks to major media channel* “Breakup” - TVG *flips through other multiple TVG Destiel ads over to Variety* Relationship-- *flips across to soap opera reporters* 15.03 Dark point in the romance-- *flips to extrafanon, nonprofessional hubs* Hm, apologies for viewing it with a heteronormative lens until now from nonshippers that usually don’t cover the show, while fandom hangs itself on its own hubs in precarious silence or refusal to address the most challenging material. Alright.

*flips to modern marketing* Hm, DeanCas commercials *clicks* Oh right, that official Join The Hunt Destiel shirt that was printed and tagged and receipted like that, that they tried to tantrum offline *clicks* OH right that OTHER Destiel canon pride shirt that Stands just HAPPENED to make this year.

*turns off television* *blinks* *rubs brows*

*tents fingers*

So at some very bizarre point, things have seemed to switch around here.

At one point, Destiel fandom was avid that the romance mattered more than the physicality, even for canonicity. They, themselves, pointed out how homophobic and double-standard it was to demand a kiss when not all hetero couples need them to be valid. But admittedly, back then, the subtext pool was shallow. A veneer placed by a few key authors.

And yet today, while antis scream in waves, their own predictions and fears of how Dabb would handle Destiel coming true, their own “kiss or it doesn’t count” logic (presented only to positive fandom, of course, with the above links of their conversations among themselves where they knew that didn’t matter) seems to have transmitted like a disease rused in representation battles but in the name of arguing with them, of validating them, of giving them any sort of relevance in a show that overtly mocks them and while they riot and fit and convulse and delete and recant opinions, spewing things they don’t even believe anymore (above links.)

it's LITERALLY the same tactics as in Trump politics, where they just flood bullshit they don't even believe to keep people elevating them having any relevance at all in the conversation and distracting them from the actual core conversation/content. Disseminating misinformation and confusion to the conversation. Hell, going so far as to spend months building fake blogs to integrate to the culture and later spread bullshit (which was its own comedy act in the end)

Also the same tactic TAW used to try to inflate completely made up bullshit bad PR about Mish by getting well meaning fans of his floating the conversation by defending him and keeping it in the public eye. ITS THE SAME SHIT.

And yet here we are, with this fandom’s version of alt right dialogue having infected its respective progressive left, with tinhats instead of redhats vaguely yelling about Dabbama and spewing pointless self-defeating nonsense, but at some point -- somehow these fandom MSGAhats managed to successfully implant their ideology in the fandom and convince supporters of Team GreenBlue their active deletion of the content that these antis, themselves, once qualified as terrible potential canons, that are now very real -- that the deletion of this is what makes progressive dialogue.

Their nature is contrarian. Contrarian to TPTB Contrarian to canon Contrarian to other fans Contrarian to themselves

TPTB are already ignoring them. Oh my bad, BLOCKING. Some have gone past muting into BLOCKING them. Canon doesn't care

If fans would stop humoring all fuckin 50 of them they'd only have themselves to be contrarian with.

Humoring them also includes internalizing their hilarious dialogues as anything worth two fucking pennies much less anything to contend with or prove or meet their clown bars of

Oh and while I'm thinking about it: As recently as S13, antis were still trying to pretend it was a reasonable opinion that "Cas isn't family, or friend, Dean doesn't care about him at all, much less Sam" In a year and a half they slid to "THEY'RE ONLY BEST FRIENDS NOT LOVERS!"

Seriously. Now take the absurdism of the S13 scenario Turn your scope into the current scenario Realize how every big publication has been addressing this shit And here we are! The new absurdism is, deadass, denying it. And convincing other fans that they somehow need to prove the flagrantly obvious, just like season 13~ with Cas' importance to the family. Just like any other intentionally daft way they suck up air and kilobits while frothing more than a rabid dog.

It's this weird mewling whimper, already settling down all of their values but desperately, hoping in this giant publicly visible homo tornado that the media itself is commenting on, that somehow, they can convince the GA who can't hear them anyway that it ain't gay. But somehow having convinced the rest of the fandom, now, that a stupid ridiculous-ass viewpoint this fandom used to know better than needing or demanding (rather than wanting or desiring, or encouraging) is needed to "prove" something to a GA that... *turns TV back on and files through the channels* ...Thheyyyyyyyyyy seem to be getting it better than shipping fandom right now, actually.

Stop internalizing horse shit and letting it redirect your activism like a damn political bot.

Unless, I don’t know-- unless you decided, with all of this -- since I did say you could decide -- that this remaining absurdity in the fandom is actually any kind of activism rather than trained demolition of your own content.

Grand as their self-contradictory public facade is, what I wouldn’t pay to be a fly on their GC walls to see their nega-clowning panic right now.

You know that goddamn meme republicans pass around where they or Trump just need to say the dumbest shit possible to make “stupid libs” chase the cat laser? THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT THIS FANDOM HAS LET THESE FUCKING IDIOTS DO TO THEM FOR YEARS TO THE POINT Y’ALL HAVE STARTED ARGUING THE OPPOSITE OF WHERE YOU STARTED.

#supernatural #destiel #lgbtqia #representation #fandom

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espejonight28738 · 5 years

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15x03 The Rupture, Meta

Fasten your seatbelts people because I’m back on my bullshit.

So, we finally had the anticipated and dreaded divorce. It hurt like shit, I know, but I think we all can agree it needed to happen, and Cas standing up for himself was amazing. Still, that ain’t what I’m talking about today. No, today we are just analysis one line:

“You and Sam have each other. I think is time for me to move on.”

And you may be thinking, why that one? It’s because the rest of Cas speech is plenty self-explanatory, but this one has so many implications… and I also think is telling us about the future.

So okay, disclaimer here, I love Dean and Sam. I do, and I hate to see people claiming all Destiel shippers hate or ignore Sam, that’s not true.

Now, that said, this line I think is an explicit call out to Dean and Sam’s unhealthy co-dependency.

Think of it for a moment. The boys just lost their mother, their son, Rowena (their friend), Ketch (a more reluctant, but still kinda-sorta- friend), they kinda lost Kevin all over again. But they haven’t given themselves time to grief, because they need to ‘keep going’ and be strong for each other. And they have this ridiculous idea of “Well, we still have each other, so we need to be okay”

And that’s not true.

For 14 season they have had this unhealthy dependency that keeps them from having stable long-term relationships (of any kind) with other people.

And Cas is spiting that in Dean’s face. He’s saying “Well, there still the both of you, so I guess nothing else really matters to you, right Dean?”

It’s not the first time someone calls out this unhealthy co-dependency between the Winchester brothers, but it hits different this time. First, the intention; Cas wasn’t trying to mock Dean or to be cruel, he was stating a problem. Second: It’s the first time someone so close to them has actually call it out. It was always externs, enemies, reluctant allies.

But Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, Jack, Mary, Ellen, Jo, they never said it. Maybe they told them one particular decision was stupid, but that the whole co-dependency was a problem? Never. Castiel never did it before. He was so empathic with them (“You were stupid for the right reasons” for example), never pointed it like a problem.

And now he did, and this is so much more relevant, because he knows them, has been their friend for over a decade, he is (or was, I guess) Dean’s best friend for more than ten years. And Dean always showed him a vulnerability that he never allowed himself to show Sammy, so Cas is one of the people that know Dean the best, if not the one. So, if he points out the problem, I think it would be stupid of us to keep denying it. The series in general… I don’t think they would address it if they didn’t plan on doing something about it.

Now, it wouldn’t be the time the brothers try to do something about this, they have tried and succeed to different degrees, but every time there’s a step in the right direction, there are also like three steps back.

Sam has been the one who has tried the most, but he can’t. He tried to keep himself apart from Dean after he was brought back from The Cage, but in the end he couldn’t just ignore Dean forever. He tried to do it by not looking for a way to rescue Dean from Purgatory and try a life with Amelia (don’t boo me, I hated that story line as much as y’all, and still think it kinda was out of character, but we can’t pretend it didn’t happen). He tried when he left after the whole Gadreel incident, but ya know, Mark of Cain made him go back to Dean, and even if that hadn’t happened, he would have come back eventually, because this can’t be broken in a moment of anger or pure despair, that will just bring them back together with the same co-dependency eventually. And Sam, particularly, can’t bring himself to leave this unhealthiness if Dean doesn’t, because in the end the moment Dean comes back or needs help, any attempt goes to the trash.

This rupture (lol) needs to happen in a frame of stability (meaning, that It won’t bring death to the other, because they would never make a choice that would kill the other, but I think that is just their love, not necessarily the co-dependency). This may look a little bit unrealistic in Supernatural’s world, but it already happened once, in Purgatory. With Dean and Sam.

Dean knew it was hurting Sam the fact that he was there. He knew Sam wanted him to go back, but you know what else did he know? That they had killed the Leviathans, and Sam wasn’t in an imminent danger. He knew Sam would survive if he took more time coming back. And in that moment of “stability”, he didn’t put Sam first. He put Cas. He chose finding Cas so they could go home together over going back immediately to Sam, even though he though Sam would be worried sick looking for them.

Dean gave a step in the right direction.

So, now you are asking, why didn’t anything change?

Because he chose Cas, he consciously chose someone over Sam, and then that person didn’t choose him back. Castiel chose to stay in Purgatory over going home with Dean, and then Castiel chose to run off with the angel tablet instead of trusting him.

So, let’s say it one more time so you can digest it.

He consciously chose someone over Sam, and then that person didn’t choose him back.

Three steps back, now.

But there is something else here, isn’t it? The person (angel, whatever) that Dean chose was Cas. And it’s now Cas calling out this co-dependency, and he’s doing it pretty early in the season.

I think it’s because they will “fix” Sam and Dean’s relationship to one still full of love, yes, and healthy. They will break this endless cycle of anguish that the codependency brings into their family.

After all of this, we know Sam can’t do it unless Dean does it too, and we know that Dean can do it if there is no immediate danger to Sam. That’s good.

In an ideal world, they would just learn to choose themselves, but Dean and Sam “I would give my life for that bird that just crossed in front of us” Winchester won’t. So, they are getting over their codependency by allowing themselves to choose someone else over their brother, by allowing other people to truly get close to them, no pushing them away. And for Dean, that person will be Cas, I’m pretty sure of it.

For Sam is a little less certain in my mind, but I suspect it will be Eileen. Honestly, since they announced her coming back, I was really confused about the why. Don’t get me wrong! She’s cool and badass and I love her, and now that we lost Rowena we are in dire need of more recurrent female characters, so it will be really welcome. But why Eileen? Why not, I don’t know, Charlie? Or Jo? Or Ellen? Or Meg? Or even Bela? What move the writers to choose Eileen?

Don’t hate me for this, I hate as much as the next person when a female character only exists for the development of a male character, but I wouldn’t put it past the writers. So, I think they are bringing back Eileen because of the thing she and Sam had going on.

The cycle of codependency will break not with anger, not with death, and not with resentment. It will be just with the two of them choosing to let someone else to be close enough, and to made the conscious election of choosing them over their brother, even if not in a life-death situation. Dean will choose Cas, and Sam will choose Eileen.

I’m not sure they will make Destiel canon, but they at least will heavily parallel their “friendship” to Sam and Eileen’s romantic relationship. Most probably they will just parallel. (But they don’t call me a clown for nothing, so I won’t lose hope of #canon destiel just yet. We’ll see in my future metas how’s that hope hanging on XD).

@metafest

#supernatural meta #spn s15 #spn 15×03 #the rupture #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #eileen leahy #is this a valid meta or just blinded optimism? i dont even know anymore #meta #my metas #destiel

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 3 years

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Supernatural 15x20, Carry On -- Review

Alright, we’re at last here. I can’t believe it. And what a waste of time that episode was! It seems “the finale” did indeed keep to task with the rest of the season, in a season of “meh” episodes, the finale continued to be a “meh” episode. Actually, I can’t even really call this a finale. Last week’s episode was the finale, this episode was the epilogue, a very subpar fanfiction-esque epilogue. And I make the fanfiction comment with a very heavy heart. I love fan fiction, I love that we can continue the stories we love through fan fiction and sometimes, a lot of fanfiction can be better than its source material. But also, sometimes, fanfiction has a tendency to be one-note. Fanfictions have a tendency to focus and hone in on one aspect of the story and tell just THAT story and the epilogues in these fanfics usually reflect that. Very one-note, only give regard to the main thing they honed in on the story. And there’s nothing really wrong with that but the weight of the story does feel less and kind of empty, the story doesn’t feel fleshed out and so in the epilogue, you don’t really feel a sense of closure and that’s what this episode felt like...and the series finale for a legacy show like this shouldn’t feel like that.

But let’s cease with the rambling and get on with this. There will probably be spoilers, So definitely if you haven’t seen the episode yet and you don’t want to be spoiled, skip this post. Although granted, I don’t know how you’re online reading this and also have somehow managed to avoid spoilers. Teach me your ways, please!

As I’m sure most of you are aware, the finale isn’t great. It’s not even really a particularly strong episode. I felt things watching it and even cried a couple of times but that’s because my sensitive ass will cry at anything even slightly tear-jerky. I definitely understand why a lot of the fandom doesn’t like this episode. But also unfortunately, I’m not too surprised that the episode turned out like this. Disappointed but not surprised. When you think about how networks operate, it makes sense. Though our fandom is big and vocal, all that matters to the CW execs is that people come back to the CW. Now granted, some of us may be forever turned off to the CW because of this incident but those numbers aren’t going to mean anything to the CW. Because as large as we are as a fandom, the general audience is much larger and that’s who the CW execs are trying to keep. The general audience, a lot of them aren’t going to be paying attention to the finer story beats, to the subtext, to the meta, to the foreshadowing. No, the general audience just wants something that’s mildly entertaining they can turn the tv onto while they cook dinner or wash the dishes or whatever. It hurts but this finale was not meant for the fandom. It was for the general audience. And if I take my fandom goggles off, I can see how this finale might be satisfying to the general audience who don’t really have too big of an investment.

But also looking at this episode from a critical standpoint, I can also tell this episode is empty, its lacking in emotion. And I say this as the girl that cried mid-way through this episode. Because while I was crying and I was sad for Sam but then I was also happy for Sam, even though I was crying through these moments, I also wasn’t feelaing anything beyond the base emotion of happiness for a character or sadness for a character. When a story makes me get emotional I’m crying because of all sorts of conflicting emotions and I’ll forever go back to those tear-jerker moments whenever I feel like I need a good cry -- Tommy’s death on Arrow, Jenna’s death in TVD, Fred’s death in Angel, the Season 2 finale of The 100. All of those things not only made me cry because I felt things for the characters but also because there was a story element that reverberated inside of me, something about it made me feel alive and glad to be alive so I could experience it. So while I was crying for Sam’s loss of Dean, while I was crying tears of happiness when Sam was finally living the life he always wanted, the story felt empty to me and I couldn’t truly be happy with what I was feeling. And when it comes right down to it, while this finale meets all the basic standards it needs to in order to be a finale, that’s all it does. There isn’t anything special about it. It makes callbacks to how it began, it has just enough nostalgia to get by and it creates an ending for the characters. But that’s all it does. It meets the bare minimum to be a finale and I”m disappointed in that. I haven’t been loving this show for a few seasons, really since season 12, but I still kept on hoping the show would pull itself together long enough for at least a memorable season finale. As bad as they were, I will still always remember the finales for Game of Thrones or How I Met Your Mother. Supernatural’s finale was so uninspired, I don’t even really care to remember it.

But let’s talk about what happened in this finale. First, some good points. I liked that we did see Sam openly mourning Cas and Jack. My Sastiel heart lived for that. And I’m also very happy Sam was able to live the life he wanted. I’m also very happy that Cas is not still stuck in the Empty, however, I do admit that if he was broken out so easily, it really kind of detracts from the initial sacrifice he made for Jack and for Dean and Sam.

Things that I did not like, that essentially things were just kind of the same as in Season 1. You know, Sam gets his apple pie life but I kind of wish there was a little more of spark to that kind of life. Like this was something we talked about my blog a long time ago about a possible endgame for Sam but let’s say the Winchesters did kind of open like an organization for hunting monsters. Like, Sam could handle the legal aspects of something like that. He could go to law school and he could represent victims that were put in tough situations because their bodies were possessed or their on the line for a crime they didn’t commit because no one believes that a monster killed their loved one. So I just kind of wish we had gotten kind of a catch to Sam living his apple pie life. Living that life, doing what he always wanted to do, but also still helping people the way that Sam feels he needs to help people. So I wish we’d kind of gotten something more along those lines. I also don’t like that it takes Dean actually dying for Sam to feel like he has Dean’s permission to finally live that life. At first, I was going to feel sorry for Dean for dying in such a dumb way, but screw that. Dean put all of his self-hatred and baggage and dragged Sam down with him and made Sam feel like crap for even dreaming about something different. So Dean, you and that rusty nail deserve each other. I don’t even want to ship you with Crowley anymore. The ship you deserve is with Rusty Nail.

So uh, let’s talk about Dean now and the return of Jenny the Vampire. I completely forgot she existed. But yeah, she was a thing but she’s so loosely connected to Dean and Dean’s character arc, it’s like, there’s a lot of other monsters that would make more sense for Dean to die at the hands of. Like in Season 7 I believe, when Dean killed Sam’s friend in front of her son and he told the son that when he gets older, feel free to come after Dean. That would make more sense and have a kind of literary weight to it. Dean’s death would’ve been the result of his own actions and decisions years prior when he killed that woman on a whim. Dean and Sam could’ve come back from the vampire nest, after dropping the boys off, maybe they stopped at gas station to get some food and as Dean is walking around the corner to a bathroom, that’s when the now grown kid pops up in front of him and as Dean has a flashback to the kid and what he did to that kid, the kid stabs him in the heart like Dean did to his mother.

Now the two brothers ending up in heaven together and presumably spending eternity together, while this may be a wincest or bibros wet dream, to me, I don’t know, it kind of feels pathetic. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love my brothers and I absolutely would go to the ends of the earth for them and I will mourn their deaths, but I also don’t want to be defined by them. I don’t want to feel like they’re so intrinsically a part of me that I need them in order to be truly happy or completed. While it might be nice to see them when I go to heaven, I would hope that I had grown to a point that there are also other things to me that are important that I would like to experience in heaver, you know? Plus, this whole ending feels like a slap in the face for what the show is most well-known for: found family and “family don’t end in blood”. The finale basically says, yes, family does end in blood, my blood is my soulmate basically. And I don’t really like that.

Let’s talk about Cas and I don’t even have to be a Destiel shipper to be angry about how Cas was treated. I understand what they did in 15x18, and it does make a certain amount of literary sense, but considering there was no sense of closure to the act and it really kind of falls flat. And it makes you think, “so if what Cas needed in order to be truly happy was to admit that he loved his family” well, didn’t he already do that back in season 12? So it just kind of makes 15x18 feel kind of pointless. Yes, 15x18 was something that needed to happen for Cas and it made literary sense but that was only the first part of what his ending needed to be. The second part of his ending was hearing it back. Not necessarily a love confession from Dean (you all know Destiel is a thing of the past for me, I don’t ship them anymore) but what Cas needed to hear back was that his family loved him. We know they loved him but his own insecurities stopped him from truly feeling and believing it. And that’s the part the show missed and that’s what makes 15x18 fall flat and it makes Cas’s character arc feel incomplete.

And also, it’s really sad to think that Sam never got to say goodbye to Cas. That’s something that Sam must feel very unresolved about and why he just lets the guilt eat up at him about it. My Sastiel heart needs one more final SamCas heart to heart.

But I think that’s all I got for this episode. What grade would I give this episode. A big solid F-...I ‘m just kidding. It wasn’t that bad but nor was it anything great either. As I mentioned, the finale did what it needed to in order tom meet the bare minimum requirements for a finale, so honestly, I’d probably give this episode a D+. It meets the standards but it also doesn’t execute them very well so I don’t feel comfortable giving it a C.

#spn 15.20 #spn 15x20 #spn carry on #sam winchester #castiel #anti dean winchester #because I wasn't very nice to dean in this review

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orionsangel86 · 5 years

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Some honest thoughts...

As many of you know, I have tried to remain very positive lately about the show and the current direction. I have always tried to speak my mind and not mislead my followers especially regarding a topic that we are all so very passionate about. This is why I want to write down some things that have played on my mind lately.

Long post under the cut

I have always been honest about my analysis of the show, and what I interpret as I watch. What I don’t think is made clear enough by many of us meta writers is that sometimes the direction of the show changes, sometimes the change is slow, sometimes it happens abruptly. All we can do is let the show guide us. We let the meta guide US, rather than force it to fit our preferred reading.

The one thing I have always tried to avoid, regardless of what idiots on Twitter might claim, is confirmation bias. I will not let my desire for canonically romantic Destiel endgame affect my meta reading of the show. I ALWAYS force myself to see other perspectives and usually, the show still pleasantly surprises me by loading the subtext with Destiel themes.

I have written several posts on the topic lately to remind you all of my current stance:

My view on canon endgame Destiel (plus additions by others)

My view on the business side of things

My last meta piece on endgame themes in Season 14

Since the announcement that Season 15 was the last, I have suffered a whole range of emotions, and many of those were relating to my fear over Destiel. My desire for it to be brought to text is shared by so many of you, I am just another fan like any of you who desperately wants this love story honoured and done RIGHT. My optimism has constantly jumped up and down from episode to episode, from one PR release to another. I can’t make up my bloody mind.

I’m scared.

I’ll probably be mocked for saying that. I half expect the assholes to grab hold of this post when I’m done and use it to twist my words and attack Destiel shippers with. The one thing you can always count on with absolute certainty is the predictability of the bronlies and *others* who have recently aligned themselves with them. I’ll blow them a kiss now and be done with it.

This isn’t a post to announce a *change* of heart as such, but like @tinkdw wrote this morning my optimism on endgame romantic Destiel is currently at a low point.

Ever since the end of the S12/13 escalation after 13x06, I have had this horrible voice in the back of my head telling me that such an abrupt change of pace probably came from higher up. Suddenly jumping from a heavily romantic Destiel arc to zero Destiel focus was extremely jarring and confusing enough even for the general audience to be confused with.

Since then, whilst we HAVE had quite a nice helping of Destiel elements in the show to keep us going, the lack of follow up on that escalation at THIS point is starting to concern me. There is still definitely intentional subtext being laid down for us to enjoy, but in my opinion it has fallen back into the realm of plausible deniability and the characters can easily be viewed as platonic friends/brothers.

Instead, there has been a drastic increase in the focus on found family and the Winchester family unit lately - centering around TFW being the parents of Jack. Sam, Dean, and Cas have all been presented as three equal father figures to their son, the majority of PR has treated the three show leads very equal, and this in itself is amazing for a show that has so often side lined Cas in previous years. This is still a hug win for anyone who sits in camp “Cas is a lead and this show is more than the brothers”.

I always used to say when Dabb took over, that this was a good thing for Cas fans. I still maintain this stance. Cas is more present than ever as an equal to Sam and Dean, and sure they have their disagreements, but his character journey is integral to the brothers journey now. There is absolutely no way that this show will end without the three of them together - whether in life or in death. If it does, then I will be flinging my laptop into the wall in utter despair.

The latest episode was a heavily emotional send off for Mary Winchester. I was expecting her death, though for a short time there I hoped that perhaps it would be subverted. I feel like she was honoured well, but at the same time I am upset that she was given no choice in the matter, and I will never fully be satisfied with her death as on a very basic level, it was yet another fridging. I also recoiled at the idea that her heaven included John Winchester - after an early season build of a potential new relationship with Bobby (one that was heavily DeanCas coded) this is another change of direction that left me blinking in the headlights. It is another element that has shaken my faith in the show’s ability to logically plot story direction. The one comfort I can take here, is that the John from Mary’s heaven was NOT the actual soul of John Winchester, but a happy memory of him. Mary’s heaven’s front door clearly only states her own name. Her and John have never been actual soulmates - just forced soulmates for heavens purposes. I can’t berate Mary on her happy memories of her marriage, but from a narrative perspective it feels like a regression of sorts, put there purely for sentimental purposes. Had it been clear that it was John’s soul, it would have been far worse and I would be in a far worse frame of mind right now.

I have seen some really great meta on this latest episode talking about how Mary’s death has shown once again the difference between Dean and Cas, and Sam and Cas, and how Dean’s extreme emotional reaction to Cas’s desperate attempt to shelter Jack and the brothers from further pain indicates an emotional bond between them beyond the realm of platonic friendship and brotherhood. I really want to agree with this reading. I do. I can see it, and I agree that this could potentially lead to a discussion between them that is desperately overdue.

But I can also easily see this being overlooked. I can see Bucklemming stomping into the story next episode with their gigantic clumsy boots and crushing all of Bobo’s delicately weaved plot full of call backs, mirrors and poetic symmetry. I can see the DeanCas *conversation* that we have been eagerly awaiting now for nearly 2 whole seasons being once again left behind.

After the series end announcement, I looked back at several episodes that aired recently, and I speculated that the writers have known this since at least episode 300. Too much of what has been said in the scripts since is obviously a message to the fans. Therefore, everything we are currently watching is also already “the endgame” because the writers at this point should start wrapping up loose plot threads and focusing on finalising the character stories. Setting things up for the big finale.

This is why I believe 14x14′s shock end with Michael being destroyed so easily by Jack happened. I seriously doubt that is how it was originally supposed to go. They needed to clear the path for Jack rather than having various different plots running simultaneously like they usually do.

This is also why I am slightly anxious about Cas’s Empty deal. If this becomes a thread picked up for season 15 great, but I can also see them easily resolving it in some outlandish way to instead focus on whatever big final story will be the focus in season 15. I would love Cas’s deal TO be the focal story, and if this happens, I will also regain faith in a romantic Destiel subplot, but I am wavering.

Since the writers knew when writing the current run of episodes in season 14 that the season would wind up and prepare for the endgame, if they intended Destiel to be brought to text, I was expecting something more than what we have got. Perhaps I’m just finally burnt out, but frankly I don’t think that the way Dean treated Cas in this latest episode read as a lovers spat, I don’t see intentional romance being coded into their scenes together, and I certainly don’t see any indication from Jensen Ackles in his acting choices that Dean is struggling with a deep love for Cas vs his grief over the loss of his mum. I see loss, and anger, and an outstanding performance yes, but his treatment of Cas was far too cold. In fact, when I look purely at Jensen and Dean over the past season, his interactions with Cas have all been rather cold in my mind. I’m sorry to say this, and I would welcome anyone reaching out to me to point out examples where this view is incorrect. But compare his interactions with Cas to any interactions with Sam, and the difference is obvious, and not in a good way.

Misha, on the other hand, as always, has spectacularly portrayed Cas’s love for Dean in such an outstanding and heartbreaking way. Throughout this episode his anguish was so evident. He took my breath away, and that final scene when he tries to go to Dean, but Sam stops him, that really made me want to cry.

So I am still confused, and concerned, because where I see Misha continuing to act his heart out in favour of the love story, I see nothing of the same from Jensen - not since early season 13 anyway. If Destiel was truly on the cards, shouldn’t there be more in the way of early season 13? Are my expectations really so high to want something more than mere one sided scraps?

I need to stress here that I understand the many excuses given towards Dean’s sometimes offish behaviour. He represses his emotions, he hides his feelings, he comes across angry when he is worried. He gets aggressive and violent when scared. I know all of this and will accept this IF the next two episodes SHOW me that he is ALSO capable of apology, of the kind of care and feeling towards Cas that he always gives to Sam.

Because we HAVE seen that softer, more loving Dean regularly in Season 14. We have seen outstanding performances from Jensen in that respect - but only ever towards Sam, or Mary, or occasionally Jack. He has never shown Cas that same treatment. Again, I appeal to you, especially to other meta writers, to point out clear examples of where I am wrong. Because I really really want you to change my mind. Show me where Dean is obviously looking at Cas with clear romantic love, where the music sweeps and his face betrays his emotion the way it does for Misha whenever Cas is with Dean.

Of course, there is a rational argument here. That this is all done purposely specifically for the Destiel drama. If this is the case then GREAT. I want it. Believe me I do. But we have two episodes left of this season and one of them will be a huge mess of pacing, action, clunky plot and terrible dialogue, and the other will be the finale which appears to be mostly taken up by Chuck’s return IMO. I can’t see any DeanCas outstanding drama being resolved in the next two episodes. I really REALLY want to be wrong. But if they don’t resolve that DeanCas drama by season end, then IMO the story between them will remain familial. Because a Dean Winchester coming out story in the final season alone just isn’t plausible.

Again, I stress that I want to be wrong here, but the writers knew the end was coming when they wrote these last few episodes, and if Destiel was something they were doing, then they would have written it into the end of this season. I’m not saying I need a canon reveal, but I do need something more than the scraps we have been given if I am to have my faith rekindled.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore all the focus on found family, and I fully expect season 15 to further push the Winchesters to finally show to Cas how much he is part of their family. I even think there is a good chance that we could get his name carved on the table by final season end - following that heartbreaking shot of Mary’s initials next to her son’s in 14x18. But I don’t see it being romantic, if there is no romantic push coming up. It is far too easy right now for the show to reinforce the notion that Cas is another brother. I do love that the story is developing down a clear path where Cas will likely choose to be human and live a human life with his brothers, but brothers is all they will be.

I really hope I am wrong, but in amongst all the speculation of this big Destiel reunion and conversation that is long overdue, I can’t help but remember that we have been waiting for this conversation for nearly two years. Just because fandom remembers and holds on to the overtly romantic S12/13 escalation doesn’t mean a general audience will remember this. They will only see the present, and in the present Dean and Cas do not act like a romantic couple. If another long hiatus goes by without that conversation having occurred, it is yet another gap in which the general audience will forget, and the writers will be able to drop it as they have always dropped it previously.

This is endgame, we can’t afford to have the deancas important plot points dropped anymore. We can’t afford to have their conversations, and apologies, and moments of making up, left in the subtext. We NEED to have that stuff shown the way they show it if it is Sam and Dean.

If they aren’t planning on doing that, then I doubt there will even be a “Destiel” plot to meta about. It will remain in subtext, as scraps, and maybe something ambiguous right at the end as a saving grace in order to not completely destroy the shows legacy once complete.

The further we move away from any substantial Destiel elements, the more and more likely it is that a CW exec already pulled the plug on it. As much as I love Bobo, and still enjoyed this episode for its melancholic poetic beauty, his own bitterness over Wayward Sisters still shows clearly in his writing (in my opinion) and I don’t believe he truly has his heart in it the way Steve Yokey does. I sometimes wonder if his lack of passion for his episodes recently is to do with more than just the loss of Wayward Sisters. Could Bobo also be upset about a “no” on Destiel?

The saving grace here being that Yokey still fills his episode with passion and plenty of queer coding. Yokey is the other person on the writing team who I focus on in terms of accusations of queerbaiting. Yokey certainly wouldn’t queerbait his own community, but unlike Bobo where there appears to be a certain bitterness over his place on the show, Yokey still embraces his role and seems very happy with it. If they had truly been given a red light from the execs, then wouldn’t Yokey also be feeling kinda pissed off that he is working on a show that is potentially going to go down in history as the biggest queerbait since TV began?

Aside from Bobo, which can be explained by Wayward Sisters, there is still passion and joy from the writing team, and if they were truly aware that Destiel wasn’t happening, I don’t think they would be so proud. So maybe there is still hope after all? They aren’t the kind of people to intentionally queerbait their fanbase. Yet Destiel has definitely been an intentional part of their storytelling for years.

I truly hope that the next two episodes rekindle my faith, but right now I have very little hope for textual romance. I am still 100% on board with the found family, Cas is definitely a Winchester and third lead focus that the show has been pushing. It brings me a lot of joy. But yeah, I need a lot more than we are currently getting if Destiel is really still on track.

Sorry guys. Perhaps I am just not quite out of my rough patch this week. I am fickle enough that by next week I could have totally changed my mind again, but as always. These are my opinions, not to be inflicted on anyone else. You are responsible for managing your own expectations. This is how I manage mine.

xxx

#supernatural #destiel #supernatural endgame #endgame destiel #spn speculation #spn spoilers #season 14 #season 15 #my thoughts #they aren't positive sorry guys #14x18 #my opinions #manage your own expectations #these are mine #the great queerbait debate #destiel dreaming

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sastiel-is-my-serotonin · 5 years

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Let's break down "The Third Man", Season Six, Episode Three. The episode where Destiel shippers got the famous line, "Dean and I do share a more profound bond."

I call this line bullshit. Let's skip straight to Dean praying for Cas. Cas comes, greets Sam who he just landed near. He could've landed next to Dean, or even just greet him first, but he doesn't. He also stays closer to Sam than to Dean when he prounouces this bond, which he only said after Sam asked if he liked Dean better.

He only looks at Dean to say he wasn't going to mention it before going back to talking to Sam. Which was just a bunch of lies. "We have no idea who brought you back or why." Sure Cas, you have no idea. Also, yes get closer, you weren't close enough the first time.

When Dean cuts into the arguement, Cas brushes off Dean bringing up the bond and moves onto the case. He admits he needs help, so obviously he looks at the person he shares a profound bond with, except he doesn't. He looks right at Sam.

Cas teleports them where they need to be, shockingly he looks at Sam not Dean when Sam starts talking. Despite the fact that Dean commented first.

If you just watch Cas this entire scene, it takes him a second to focus on the case because he was paying attention to Sam. He wasn't expecting Sam to move right into questioning. Once he gets his focus back, he looks to Sam then Dean before closing in on the suspect. When their attention is called once more, he's turned in Sam's direction, not Dean's.

When he teleports to the kid after the kid makes his voice heard, Dean starts questioning the kid. As they walk, Cas glances at Sam to see where he was, Sam was walking behind them.

Here he does give Dean a lot more glances, since he is the one whose questioning the kid, then Dean ends up questioning Cas.

Once he does the questionable action of getting Balthazar's name, he's back to being brief with Dean, giving longer sentences to Sam.

Fights with the angel, destroys Sam's car, teleports back up and looks at Sam when he lets them know the other angel is gone.

Dean walks directly in front of him, Cas tries to avoid the truth, doesn't work, full attention to Dean while he explains the truth, just kidding he still glances at Sam at least once during his explanation. When Sam talks, attention goes to him, before using that as a way to walk past Dean and picks up Sam's bag for the ritual's spell.

Once again, the reason Cas and Dean are close in proximity is of Dean's doing. Which he uses to his advantage to cut Dean's hand for the ritual. For someone who cares more about Dean than Sam, he is kind of treating Sam better than Dean in this episode.

Is it a natural thing for him to look at Sam when they teleport? He does that once again, even though Dean had just made a comment. Anyways, fights with the angels, Dean tries to fry an angel, doesn't happen. Speaks up after Sam makes his appearance known. Lets Balthazar go, disappears himself.

I'm not sure about you, but after rewatching the episode, I highly doubt that those two are the ones with the profound bond.

#i have a lot more reasons why this line is bullshit #but this was getting way too long so i had to cut it short #basically cas was acting like that little kid who pushes their crush into the sandpit #and runs away because they don't know how to express their feelings #no sam #i have no clue how you got here #it wasn't me #i didn't make a deal with a demon #didn't risk my life for you whatsoever #totally not looking at you every chance i get #also very necessary for me to be very close to you #sastiel #okay I was pretty aggressive with this post #in fairness I didn't sleep yet and when I'm running on no sleep my passive aggressiveness gets out of control

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houseofglass · 5 years

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When Jensen released the video announcing the conclusion of the series, I had a very weird feeling. I respect their decision but I think it was more Jensen idea than Jared and this annoys me a lot, but it seems that if you say something like that you are not a real fan. What do you think about it? You have no idea of the insults I took because I dared to say that Jared and Jensen think differently...

I agree with you Nonny. I think it was Jensen’s idea too.

Bottom line: Jensen wants to move on, therefore, the show must end.

Longer version:

Jared has wanted to leave the show for a long time. Or, maybe not leave, but definitely not be in front of a camera for a while. He’s said that he’d like some time off after spn ends, but any actor that takes time off rarely gets back in the spotlight. But he wouldn’t leave as long as Jensen wanted to keep doing the show. Jared didn’t want to put the crew out of work (Oprah had similar concerns with her show, and I think she gave two or three years notice before ending), but he was also burning out. The show gracefully allowed more characters to reappear, which gave Jared a lighter workload. This worked for years.

Jensen wants to stay in the industry, but that means they can’t just end spn, they have to plan it out to the last day. In that planning is prep work for Jensen to show the industry who he is, what he’s capable of, and that he’s on the market again. That involves PR work to help guide public perceptions. This can be seen by Jensen’s public image lately: Architectural Digest shoot, King Bacchus, FBBC heavily promoted, and the texting ad, just to name the ones off the top of my head. This is radically different from Jared’s public persona: meeting fans, partying, drinking, and marathon running.

The video showed me that Jensen is ready for the next step, but Jared needs more time to mourn. But houseofglass, you said Jared wanted to leave! Yes, but he holds his emotions much closer to the surface than Jensen does. I think Jared, even though he’s tired, would have kept going on with the show just to keep his lifestyle afloat. I also think that even though they planned this out, seriously planned it, that it wasn’t real for Jared until they told the crew. As long as the workplace was in the dark, Jared could keep his fantasy of leaving alive. But once it became reality, several things probably fell into place for him.

What are those things? This depends on your perceptions Nonny. I don’t know if you’re a tinhat, a shipper, or a casual fan, so I’ll give a couple of explanations.

Casual Fan:Both have said they’ll keep going until the writing doesn’t work. Well, objectively, that would’ve been a few seasons ago. I mean, God’s sister? Crowley had a mother? WTF? The writers have been adding extra characters, presumably to give J2 time off, but the show has suffered as a result. Anyway. Let’s move on.

Jared’s adult life has been consumed by this show. He was 22 when he filmed the pilot, and is now 37. He has no idea of what adult life is without the show. Everything hinges on it. Travel, family time, filming, vacations, work related PR, conventions, meeting fans, all of it. Sure, he acted before the show and had a life before it as well. But his formative adult years were spent at one job. Imagine being married during the same age range for the same duration. Ending that marriage, whether toxic or not, is difficult.

Without the show, Jared has to figure out who he is and what he wants to do to fill his days. That’s really scary for someone who has mental illness or spends a lot of time inside their own head. As soon as the crew was notified, Jared had to face up to the fact that he agreed to this, that his life will now change, that his cornerstone is going to be gone, that it’s now REAL. So while he might have been ready to move on intellectually, he wasn’t quite ready to deal with the reality of it.

Jensen wants to keep working and try new things. Supernatural is holding him back. Don’t @ me, it is holding him back. He’s typecast. Pigeonholed. He’s Dean Winchester; tough guy with a soft heart. Trying to get another role will be difficult. If he stays in the industry and works behind the scenes he has a better chance, but first he needs to put spn behind him.

He knows Jared wants a break. He knows the crew will be unemployed. He knows spn contributes a lot to Vancouver/BC’s economy. He also knows he has to do difficult things to get what he wants. He has to end the show, and do it gracefully. I have no doubt he’s shaken up by his decision, but is comfortable with it.

Jared, however, seemed less comfortable with it even though he’s made it clear he wants a break. Wanting something and getting it are two different emotional states.

Shipper:Shipping isn’t a problem for J2. Kim Manners used to show them the Wincest fics and even print them out and post them on a bulletin board. J2 found it funny and a good release of creative energy. Neither appeared to have any issue with shipping.

Until they did.

Jensen could brush off all Destiel shipping questions pretty easily at first. It was an expression of creativity and his attitude was ‘to each their own’. But some Destiel shippers became militant and started asking invasive questions at cons. They also started hounding him on SM about Destiel. He’s handled it very well over the years, despite the hatred he received in return. But when he said, “Destiel doesn’t exist” at a con, I think that was the turning point for him.

Dean Winchester was a character Jensen really liked. Kinda tough, liked cars, masculine, good-natured, free lifestyle, that kind of thing. But somehow Dean got boiled down to half of Destiel. And I don’t mean with just the fans. I have eyes, I’ve seen the show, they queerbaited Cas and Dean when Cas was new. Although I think a lot of that queerbaiting was in the editing room. They could slow film down or change the colour saturation if they chose to, and this could change the audience’s perceptions of what’s going on.

Sidebar: I watched a show named unREAL which was about the producers of a show like The Bachelor, and in unREAL they demonstrated how to make two people look like they had chemistry. I had to pause the show, rewind, and watch again. I didn’t know that slowing film down could make glances seem significant. I know now.

So, here’s Jensen, playing a character he likes, only to have it 'twisted’ into something he doesn’t believe it is. For a while this was fine. Let the fans think what they want, it brings in ratings, it doesn’t change how he acted. Then it wasn’t fine, he got more and more irritated with the whole thing. If he kept going on with the show, he might have had to play a character in a way that was more like pandering and less like being authentic to the character.

On that note, Jensen has been distancing himself from Misha over the years. Why? Because Misha fuels Destiel whenever possible. Well, not lately. He’s switched to Sastiel. Anyway, despite being able to draw a crowd at a con with a Destiel panel, Jensen only does one a year: Jus In Bello. Please gently correct me if I’m wrong here, but I’m sure there’s only one Destiel panel and it’s in Rome. Jensen participated in the charity campaign with Misha, but not much since then. I suspect he did it because TPTB insisted he do something, and he agreed to the YANA campaign. Remember, celebrities are beholden to PR.

So now Jensen is doing a show with a person that isn’t respecting a boundary (stop pushing Destiel), and the perceptions of his character have changed in a way he doesn’t like. Time to end the show. Being a true professional, he ensured the fans and crew had enough notice to adjust to the idea.

Jared didn’t seem bothered by any shipping at all. If this is the primary reason for the show’s end, it was Jensen’s idea more than Jared’s IMO.

Tinhat:I believe Jared wanted to end the show after PR tried to separate him and Jensen by insisting they get married to women. Jared’s first breakdown was right about that time, and I always wondered if it was because he was living in a happy bubble with his lover and his show, and now he had to pander to the (perceived) hetero audience. Leading men just could not be gay back in the day. There’s more outed gay actors now, but fifteen years ago things were different. He held on, did as he was told, and his world continued.

Jared’s marriage seems to be falling apart, and I, personally, suspect it’s already over and done. Papers signed, custody arrangements made, properties split. If the show was still going on, he’d have to field questions about his divorce. But, if the show is announced it’s ending and then he announces his divorce, the divorce will take a back seat to the show’s finale. Timing is everything.

Jensen has seemed happy as a pig in shit for the entire run of the show. Sure, he’s had bad days, but mostly he’s enjoyed his time on spn and the lifestyle it’s awarded him. He didn’t seem as upset about getting married as Jared did (seriously, go find the pics of Jared’s wedding. He looked like he was kissing something repugnant), but Jensen had a different upbringing that conditioned him for a celebrity lifestyle. He probably knew beards were mandatory and it was just a matter of when, not if.

In order for them to still spend a ridiculous amount of time together, they had to keep the show going. It wasn’t a problem, the network was fine with it. But the pressure was hard for Jared and has been for a long time. If not for Jensen, Jared would have left years ago.

But then they announced the show was ending and their reactions were a bit off. Jensen appeared somewhat together, a bit excited, a bit sad, but ready. Jared looked like he’d been crying for hours and still had days worth of tears to shed.

The tinhat in me says this is because their entire world is about to change, and it may not be for the better. Nobody can predict the future. How much of J2’s success as a couple is reliant on them being together for most of the time? How will they navigate their relationship if only one is working? Will they come out? Probably not, if Jensen wants to stay in the industry. Jared won’t have his lover acting with him, he won’t have his lover for most of the hours in a day/week/month/year. He’s going to be alone, and that’s scary.

For the tinats: I’m not saying their relationship won’t survive. I don’t have a crystal ball. But it might be rocky at first while they figure out their new dynamics.

TL;DR: yes, Jensen seemed happier than Jared in the video. Jared seemed much more upset, and even tried to look at Jensen, who looked toward Misha instead of meeting his eyes.

Oh, and I didn’t really address Misha in this because it’s always been said that as long as J2 want the show to continue, it will. Him being in the video is more of a PR thing to me: Misha also needs to build his portfolio and I suspect his agent has negotiated more uh, 'lead exposure’? for him. I don’t know what the correct phrasing is, but he’s been lumped with J2 more and more lately.

Oh, and if you read this far, thanks for letting me babble :)

#answering stuff #spn #finale #J2 #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Misha Collins #tinhat #shipping #Anonymous

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verobatto · 4 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXIX

It was a love story from the very beginning.

All For You (Part II)

(12x09)

Hello everyone! I'm here again with another meta from this series.

This time I'm gonna talk about episode 9 from season 12 "First Blood".

The episode is a picture of Cas' fears and insecurities. We have a face to face with his depression. But also is a prelude to his dead.

I failed

When you rewatch the episode knowing Cas is going to die and go to the Empty, what officer Camp says to Dean in the maximum security jail takes another relevance, and we can spot s huge foreshadow of what the Empty will mean to Castiel.

CAMP: See, when I leave, that door closes, and it stays closed, and you stay in the dark. Now, maybe that doesn’t sound so bad. But after a month? A year? You spend enough time staring at these walls, just you and all that nothing, you’ll get so crazy to talk, to see someone real, you’ll tell me exactly what I need. You’ll tell me with a smile.

Taking the symbolism in all these words, is quite a forced meditation. You and the nothing. An introspection, the loneliness, this will be Cas in the Empty. Cas will face himself, by himself I mean his fears, his insecurities, his depression. That's why the Empty will take his own form. And that way the Empty will be helping Cas to face his own darkness. Camp is using the nothing, and darkness as a weapon to break man and make them talk, but the Empty will use it to break Castiel and put him back to sleep, with a huge difference, it won't brake Cas but will make him stronger.

We will have a first dialogue between Cas and Mary, in which Mary will make Cas responsible for loosing his sons. But Castiel will replied pointing at Mary's responsibility too, and the woman will end up saying, they're both guilty.

MARY: You left them.

CASTIEL: No, I… Dean told me to go. The woman--

MARY: The one you lost?

CASTIEL: I didn’t. I… I thought that she--

MARY: Stop making excuses.

Mary is that voice of guilty in Castiel's head, making him suffer and being more depressed. Like someone inside of him telling him all the things he did wrong, another foreshadow of the Empty facing him in the darkness.

MARY: Why… if they needed help, why didn’t they call me?

CASTIEL: You were out.

MARY: [sighs] How did we let this happen, Castiel?

Mary takes the responsibility too here. She recognizes her own mistakes too. Because is not just Cas'fault.

Another picture of Castiel's depression is how deep he felt he couldn't solve a case, and how coming back from the Empty will give him more strenghts and more confidence in himself to solve cases by himself.

But in the meantime, we have another sad picture of his depression...

CASTIEL: I saw it on the news and I thought, that’s the sort of thing Sam and Dean would investigate. They would roll into town, save the day, kill the monsters. But with them gone… I tried to work the case. I tried. But… I don’t know what I did wrong. I… I asked questions, but maybe they were the wrong people, or the wrong questions, and I just-- I never found it. Never found the monster. Never even got close. And three more women died before I left town. Before I ran away.

He's calling himself here a coward, by using the words 'running away', and he names his failures, pointing at how important are Dean and Sam to the world. Words he will repeat at the end of this episode after killing Billie.

MARY: So we go back. You and me.

CASTIEL: No, no. I'd only get in your way.

And now Castiel is calling himself useless.

From Longing in the dark to cosmic consequences

The scene with Dean in the jail that cuts to Cas sitting in the bunker, in the middle of the darkness, is a prelude too at what Cas in the Empty and Dean longing for him in real life will be, but in reverse. The longing.

Gif credit @blueredeye2

When Dean and Sam die and then resurrect, and then Dean calls Castiel. They pictured a phone ringing alone in the bunker. A failed first attempt, but then, Castiel picks up. This could be a foreshadow of how Dean will pray to Chuck and Cas to get him back, but it won't work at first... Helped with the lovers longing and some magic from a nephilim, it will work the second attempt.

The first person Dean calls after be or from the jail is CASTIEL, NOT MARY, BUT CASTIEL. This is very relevant because it's showing us that evidently, Dean was longing strongly for his angel.

And Cas not being able to find Dean and Sam shows us that my theory about how his grace lowers when he's depressed. There's an important connection between Castiel's feelings with his powers.

Now, let's check that phone call...

DEAN: Cas.

CASTIEL: Dean?

DEAN: Hey, buddy. Long time.

This denotes Dean missed him.

CASTIEL: What… What happened? Wh-- where are you?

DEAN: You wouldn’t believe me, and I have no clue. Uh…

Dean is hiding their deal with Billie, Sam didn't expect he would do that to Cas...

SAM: You didn’t tell him?

DEAN: No.

Dean only said they're running out of time. To make Cas to hurry.

The world needs you.

I laughed so hard because when those agents talked with Dean by phone, this line appeared...

DEAN: Well, what we have here is a failure to communicate.

Okay, foreshadow of Destiel misscomunication of the whole season 13/14 and 15! We should know it! 🤣

But also, notice how Dean is avoiding to talk with Sam about the deal, about who will go with Billie, of course because we know who will offer himself willingly to die for everyone: Dean.

So, to Dean, there's nothing to talk about.

Let's talk about the reunion. The reactions (oh yes, we are gonna talk about reactions a lot here) when Cas found them, Dean is like in awe to see him, and the one hugging him first is Sam. A beautiful hug and a beautiful scene. Dean didn't expect Cas to be there, that's the only explanation to his reaction. Then he goes for his hug, and Castiel's face always break my heart... That angel was very sad and depressed in this season. Damn.

Gif credit @spnsmile

Now, let's talk about the car, because Dean is the first born, and sorry for the little brothers here, but first born goes in the front seat with the father/mother driving hahahahaa. And yes, I'm a first born and I know very well my rights.

But Dean is in the back seat this time... Why? Because his angel is in the back seat, you know? And he is about to die? Yes, little detail. So there's this head canon out there, where people say Dean was about to confess something or to say goodbye to his angel and even that he held his hand over there... IDK, I like these ideas but... I will just keep the one I have clues for... Because Dean confessing his love will take a lot of work. We are still waiting for it, right?

Gif set credit @haloless 👇

But, I do believe, he was trying to talk about Billie and the deal, and we failed at doing it. That's why the longing stare, and Cas puzzled face saying "What's going on?" And Dean "Damn, I couldn't use my words, again."

And then we have Billie, and Mary trying to go with her, and then Cas kills the reaper.

And cosmic consequences, and Cas speech that conquered each Winchester's heart over there, but the reactions are different, so, let's check his speech...

DEAN: Cas, what have you done?

CASTIEL: What had to be done. You know this world-- this sad, doomed little world-- it needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I will not let you die. I won’t let any of you die. And I won’t let you sacrifice yourselves. You mean too much to me. To everything. Yeah, you made a deal. You made a stupid deal, and I broke it. You’re welcome.

Gif set credit @inacatastrophicmind 👇

Okay, Cas is too cute, but faces people's, FACES, Sam and Mary are very touched. But Dean??? Damn... Dean is so, so in love. Is like if we could read his mind, yelling : "YES CAS, YOU MEAN TO MUCH FOR ME TOO, MARRY ME RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, LET'S MAKE A LITTLE NEPHILIM."

The thing is, again, we have different reactions, writers are showing us the difference between ROMANTIC LOVE (Dean) and FAMILY LOVE (Sam and Mary).

To Conclude:

This episode gave is a sad picture of Castiel's sadness and depression.

The foreshadow of the Empty, and how Cas will face himself, and will come back stronger from the darkness.

It also shows us the difference between family love and romantic love, and one interesting hint about what Destiel misscomunication will be.

Hope you liked this one, see you in the next meta!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @nickelkit @anon-non2 @cea1996

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From this season, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII and LXXVIII.

Buenos Aires, September 15th 2020 5:38 AM

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maggiemaybe160 · 5 years

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I Am The Nightmare

Full 4 Chapter fic on Ao3

Thanks to @jemariel for the beta <3 Dean stood in the middle of the road. His feet were bare on the wet pavement. He was wearing a thin black t-shirt that hugged his body and a pair of gray plaid pajama pants that he only wore for comfort after returning to his bunker after a hunt. His green eyes were half lidded, his gaze far away and glassy.

A car sped past him, making the loose pajama pants flutter. The water from the ground sprayed him as the car passed. He turned around in a full circle, as if lost and looking for his path. He took a sure, single step and stopped again. His feet were on the yellow line that ran down the middle of the road.

His hair, soft from the shower that he’d had before bed, moved gently in the wind. His face was pale, his cheeks bright red from the cold. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides slowly.

“Dean!” Cas yelled. Dean’s eyes opened wide, making him look shocked and maybe even a little scared. The expression forced Cas to stop walking toward him. “What are you doing?” he asked instead.

“I’m looking for Cas!” Dean shouted, his face suddenly angry. The silence that followed was a strange mixture of Dean’s raw anger and Cas’ complete confusion.

They were five miles away from the bunker. The Impala was safe in the bunker’s garage. Sam was still sleeping soundly. Dean was standing in the middle of the road yelling about… Cas?

“Go back to the bunker!” Cas yelled, frustrated and unsure of how to deal with the situation.

“No!” Dean shouted. He took a few angry steps toward Cas and stopped when they were toe to toe and Dean’s freezing nose grazed Cas’. Cas would have been lying if he said that a shiver hadn’t raced up his spine, his breath catching in his throat at the contact.

“You… don’t feel like you,” Cas said slowly. “You feel… Asleep?”

Dean crumpled on the spot, his eyes rolling back in his head and his knees giving way. Cas caught him before his head smacked the concrete. Because of the strange way that Cas was holding onto Dean, their chests were pressed together. He could feel the pounding of Dean’s heart against his. As Dean’s eyes closed, his heart rate slowed from marathon running speed to the resting speed of a sleeping man.

“Dean?”

Dean blinked a few times before jolting and accidentally shoving himself away from Cas, offsetting his balance and hitting the pavement with a thud. He looked up at the angel from where he was now sitting.

“Why are we out here?” Dean asked. His voice was shaking with the shivering that had taken hold. Cas hadn’t realized how cold Dean was.

“Can I take us back to the bunker or would you rather walk?” Cas asked gently. He had no idea what was happening, and apparently, neither did Dean.

“Walk,” Dean said, standing up. Cas shrugged off his coat and wrapped Dean in it.

Dean looked at the trench coat that was now adorning his shoulders and then at Cas, who looked practically naked in his suit and tie. Without a word, Dean slipped his arms into the sleeves and wrapped it closer around himself.

He would never admit it outloud, but as he wrapped it close to his body, his heart seemed to erupt in his chest at wearing a piece of Castiel’s clothing.

“Here,” Cas said, when he noticed Dean was still shivering. He buttoned up the coat for him, his fingers working too quickly, starving Dean of his touch. He tied the belt and his hands lingered for a moment. “Better?”

Dean only nodded and the angel’s hands fell away again. Dean followed Cas, unsure exactly of where he was. He wondered how he’d gotten there and how far away they were from the bunker. He didn’t voice any of his concerns, hoping that it all seemed rather intentional.

“What happened?” Dean asked after a moment, deciding that there was no way this had looked intentional given his state.

“I don’t know, Dean,” Cas answered, turning to look at him. “Did you sleep?”

“I think I fell asleep around midnight,” Dean said. He remembered showering, dressing for bed, and listening to music. The last time he had looked at the clock it had said it was 11:43pm.

“What did you dream about?”

“Really, Cas?” Dean half laughed, trying to brush off the awkward question. The angel looked serious.

“It might explain why you were out here,” Cas said, looking away from Dean again.

“So, if I tell you what I dreamed about you can explain to me how we ended up in the middle of the street?” Cas only sighed in response.

“I dreamed about you,” Dean said quietly. The last word hung in the air without any other explanation. Cas’ face felt hot despite the frigid air. He also didn’t have an answer for Dean. Not another word was spoken on the entire walk back to the bunker. They walked in just as silently and Dean plopped into the nearest chair. His hands worked at the knot in the trench coat’s belt, but he didn’t dare look at Cas.

“I’ll find an explanation,” Cas promised, sitting down in the chair opposite of Dean.

“It won’t happen again,” Dean promised. They both knew it was an empty promise. Dean finally looked up, meeting the gaze of the angel. He immediately regretted it.

Cas’ dark hair was wildly windblown and his blue eyes were intense, resting on Dean’s face. His eyes flickered from Dean’s eyes to his lips and back quickly. Dean dismissed it as a trick of the light.

Dean looked back down to the buttons on the coat as he undid them slowly, reluctantly. He stood, shrugging out of the coat. He draped it around Cas and turned to go back to his room.

“Did you really?” Cas asked softly, stopping Dean in the doorway. Dean turned to look over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised in an unasked question. “Dream about me…?” Cas breathed.

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean’s head dropped, looking at the floor in front of him. “Every night.” There was a pause as Dean waited for a response that didn’t come. “Night.”

@blueeyesandpie @telefuckies @royalrowena @ain-t-bovvered @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @adventurous-blob @deanwinchesterswitch @righteouscomeuppancejogstheliver @ultra-trash @qenericqueer @castibella-shipper-of-the-lord @destielhoneybee @k-lewis @thekingofselfloathing @skittles-rainbow-cat @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @spn-thot @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @destiel-honeypie

#fluff and angst fic #fluff and angst #sleepwalking fic #night terrors #based on true events #supernatural fic #spn fic #destiel fic #destiel #dean winchester #cas #castiel #dean x castiel #ao3 fic #maggiemaybe160

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