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#I would draw said world but my hand hurts
mandyspeaks · 2 days
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How is BPD created from a BPD perspective
In my experience BPD is created through fundamental abandonment trauma, particularly with family. I can give an example to show how this functions.
Let’s imagine Betty lives on a planet far away, where it is customary for family members to always shake hands when they see each other. Betty sees other families doing this all the time. She sees her own family members shaking hands with each other. Yet for some reason, none of the family members will shake Betty’s hand. They simply refuse to and ignore her when she tries. Eventually Betty gives up trying.
When you’re a child, you often don’t have enough context for how healthy families work, to know that there’s anything dysfunctional about yours. In this case, the child is more likely to draw the painful conclusion that they are the problem. It’s not the adults for refusing to shake her hand, she must not be worthy of it. She internalizes this shame as a permanent core sense of self when relating to the world. She enters the world through the filter of “I’m not worthy. There is something inherently wrong with me.”
Later in life Betty falls in love and enters a romantic relationship. She finally has someone who will shake her hand upon greeting like she always wanted. Which possibly contradicts her feeling that she is not worthy.
For this reason her ego will hold on to this romantic partner in a way that idolizes them. They’re not just bringing her love, they’re validating her entire sense of selfhood.
One day her partner is in a bad mood and does not shake her hand upon entering their home. For couples that grew up in healthy homes, this would happen from time to time and be forgivable.
For Betty, she is actually reliving her childhood trauma of being denied a handshake. Her partner is not intending to hurt her, and cannot understand the seemingly disproportionate reaction.
Betty’s body is remembering all of the exact same sensations she went through when her own family would refuse to shake her hand. She is actively experiencing a PTSD flashback. On top of that, the experience is validating her core sense of shame and unworthiness.
Someone she once saw as someone totally different from those who betrayed her, is now acting the same way. To Betty, she feels like she cannot escape this pattern, because deep down, she is not worthy of having her hand shook.
Betty is in so much emotional turmoil during this flashback that she says angry and somewhat hurtful things to her partner. Her thoughts are racing and she feels like a hurt child again. In the moment, she feels that she is doing what she can to reveal this deep seated pain to her partner, which is so painful that it comes out laced with anger and betrayal that is not solely from this moment, but decades deep. She isn’t just speaking to her partner in this moment, she is speaking to her family members who neglected and abandoned her.
Betty tells her partner she doesn’t want to speak to them anymore. Betty does not feel she is worthy of having her needs met, so she has to find another way to get them met. By pushing her partner away, part of her hopes that they will “realize” the truth of her pain and validate it. But her partner doesn’t understand why she is having such a strong reaction.
Eventually the PTSD flashback will fade away and for Betty it will feel like she is coming down off of a bad drug mixed with an angry panic attack. and Betty’s rational mind will start to see the situation as it is. For a BPD person an argument can feel like waking up with a bad hangover and seeing you texted your ex, but worse. It’s waking up to reality and seeing you have said things you know are unreasonable and pushed away the one person who showed you love.
The truth of BPD is that to an outsider, our behavior may seem unreasonable and difficult. But to that person, there are many layers of trauma and context that have led to these specific rejections being profoundly painful, especially when coming from someone you love.
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tariah23 · 8 months
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I don’t even watch naruto but I scroll thru ur naruto tag for sasunaru🫡
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gyudons · 7 months
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despicable
updates as of 22 oct
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Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
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shotmrmiller · 2 months
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smut because somehow i always end up there.
yknow something that pushy ass cbf!johnny would do?
tell you that he'd get more benefits and/or pay if he had a spouse.
"Because you're in absolute poverty, Johnny."
He clicks his tongue. "Be serious, hen."
You are being serious. Johnny's not hurting for cash. His parents are still alive, so he has no need to buy a place of his own, and even then, he just swings by his family's home before coming back to stay with you until leave's over. Honestly, you should be charging him rent.
"Johnny. Unless you're planning on buying another ostentatious vehicle with tires too big for this tiny town, I'm not seeing what you're seeing."
He digs his thumb into the arch of your foot that's draped over his lap. "But think o' the possibilities! If say, you married me, ye wouldn't need to work anymore. Jus' worked on gettin' the job of yer dreams! An' besides, ah'd never realistically settle down anyway; too busy savin' the world an' all."
The extra income must be drastic if he's this insistent. "Why not marry the big brit with the skull for a face? You talk about him enough to sound like you've got a hard on for him."
He avoids your gaze when he informs you that Ghost is already married.
"And what about me? What if I find a boyfriend or something?" you playfully teased. Johnny's bright blue eyes turned to ice.
"Is there someone?" A muscle worked in his jaw.
Dread crawled up your spine. Abort. Abort. "Of course not." The tension melted from his face— gaze gentling and lips softening.
Christ, can he be intense sometimes.
You clear your throat. "Say I do marry you. What do you get out of this as my benefactor? Math isn't mathing, Johnny."
His lips curl upwards in amusement. "Nothin' between us would change. Jus' get a nice, shiny band on my hand tha' keeps unwanted advances off of me, and I wouldn't have to live on base anymore. Tired of eatin' tha' slop at dfac."
Johnny's long fingers curl around your ankle, thumb drawing gentle circles on the bone. "C'mon, hen. Think about your career! Marry me and ye won't even have t'change yer last name, swear."
Once again, fooled by the pretty face and dazzling smile.
You were a MacTavish by the end of the month, and he'd ended up in your bed that same night. Pushed your face into the soft mattress as he bullied his cock into you, telling you to feel how he splits his little wife's pussy open.
Mottled the delicate skin of your neck and collarbone with purple love bites when he hooked your knees over his shoulders, forcing you to take all of him in that devastating angle.
Made you look at yourself in the mirror in the bathroom, one hand gripping your neck, and the other on your swollen cunt, rubbing tight circles on your slippery clit. "Look at how beautiful y'are. How good yer takin' me." He tilts your head upwards, locking eyes with you. "This cunt was made f'me, wasn't it, wife?" he rumbles.
If he said anything else, it was promptly drowned out by a buzzing in your ears as your world went white. Warmth trickled down your legs as pleasure burst through you, spasm after gut-twisting spasm. Johnny blessedly slows down, working you through it tenderly, until you hiss in discomfort from oversensitivity.
"The way ye look in yer pleasure is somethin' i'll see behind my eyelids forever, bonnie."
Heat licks up the sides of your jaw. "Johnny, please—" you cut off, a moan tumbling out of your lips when he presses himself flush against your arse.
"Dinnae worry, ah'm not done with ye jus' yet." There's a hand in between your shoulder blades, pushing down gently. "Bend over, hands behind yer back, Mrs. MacTavish."
ghost is in fact, not married.
and the pay raise is mediocre.
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satoruhour · 7 months
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a/n: i need college / uni bf!geto rn bc my hands hurt :( newly established relationship <3 0.9k, rich kid!suguru i guess? / tagging @crysugu @na-t0 @papersirens @hydrovillette
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“didn’t i tell you not to go so hard on your essay?” geto gives you a small smile, countered by your cute pout in the dark room of your dorm. the way he lectures is gentle, having no bite to it because how would he ever dare to sink his teeth into something as sweet as you? he knows if he does, however, he just might become addicted to you. it’s clear already how the teeth is breaking skin and drawing blood just by the items in the room:
both your faces are illuminated by the fairy lights you begged suguru to buy — he gives in and buys it for you as always. it’s shown in the starbucks mug that cost ¥3300, the sanrio themed bed sheets that you’re now sitting on, the convenience store onigiris for you to store in your fridge.
“was rushin’ it before 2359, su, you know that…” you mumble more to yourself than your boyfriend, who’s staring at you as your eyes droop sheepishly to your connected hands. it’s not wrong that you could’ve started writing this essay a little earlier, cited your sources a little earlier, but you still managed to do it; at the expense of your hands. they ached and throbbed from the position they were in for the past few hours — at least you still had managed to submit it with two minutes to spare.
“but not to the point where your hands turn sore, my darling.” geto brings your hands to his lips to kiss, like the little gesture of love could magically heal you. it feels like it does. the tenderness of his touch, the roughness of his finger pads against your smoother skin, the thoughtfulness itself. you grunt a little in pain when suguru starts to massage the palm, digging his thumb in and dragging it up and down. he squeezes your hands, giving each finger its attention, wiggling the hands to loosen your muscles.
“you know,” you hum in response and look up from your flustered state to find him already staring at you, “my mom used to do this for me.”
“yeah?” you whisper, heart pounding in your ears. two and a half months in and geto suguru was already treating you like treasure, not at all what they say he is: conceited of his intelligence, rude, a know-it-all rich kid. sure, he was smart, he was rich, but he made it clear he had no interest in the industrial, business side of the family. geto was generally open about his past, his parents leaving the toxic world and giving their son an upbringing filled with unconditional love and openness. but people usually liked the juicier gossip; none of them had bothered to know geto for who he was.
“yeah.” geto brings you in via your hands, lips colliding clumsily against yours from the force and you both laugh softly, “said its been passed down in her family for the longest time.”
“it’s helping… a little,” you giggle, eyes memorising his eyes shone under fluorescent.
“is it now?” the warmth of his hand leave yours for a moment to tilt your head up, catching your lips properly this time as he moves slow. suguru takes his time with you, moving against you as his other hand still continues to massage. that was one thing he was good at too, multitasking; he plays with your hand, travelling over your fingers and stroking over each section and its nail bed and then pulling away teasingly while he continues to hypnotise you into a dance. you hear him hum into the kiss, exhaling through his nose as he now interlocks both hands.
“focus on the squeezes, baby,” geto suguru drives you insane, in that little silky voice of his and the slight lilt in his voice. you let him lead you, feeling the soft pressure of his hand as he brings them above your heads and leans forward. you make a small surprised sound as he brings you right down to lay flat on the bed, hovering over you whilst still giving those periodic squeezes, entirely at his mercy as his lips never stop. they come off to breathe for some air and you’re the same, flushed cheeks and swollen lips and geto lets out a shaky breath.
it’s only then when he lets go, caught in your trance. easily, he tugs you into his lap as he lays down, not sure if he could uphold his obsession if he was on top.
“is this really part of the massage process?” you ask, legs naturally going to either side of his hips as you lay on his chest. you smile to yourself when you realise how fast his heart’s beating. off to the side, geto finds your hand again: him with his left and you with your right and you tangle into each other with the choreography of a million sprouts in the wind. finger into finger and palm against palm.
“hmm…” geto feigns confusion, prompting you to turn your head towards him. you grin seeing his red cheeks, “nah, just deviating a little from the family recipe… is it working?”
“it was earlier but now? oh, no, not really.” geto’s eyes flutter close when you move forward just a bit to peck his lips. you twine your fingers with his; you’re getting good at this multitasking thing. “but wherever you are, i will always feel much better than i was.”
“good.” suguru mumbles with a lovesick smile, and he gives your connected hands a squeeze and a grin threatens to spread across his face when you squeeze back just as hard, “that’s… really good.”
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dollfacefantasy · 27 days
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Kiss It Better
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pairing: leon kennedy x fem!bunny-hybrid!reader
summary: on a day planned to be just for just you and leon, he gets called into work. it dredges up some old memories, and upon returning home, he wants to make it better by taking extra care of his baby bunny.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, cockwarming, daddy kink, size kink, breeding kink, hurt/comfort, reader copes with her past at the shelter
word count: 6.1k
a/n: yay leon and his baby bunny finally return. i hope this lives up to the first part lol which can be found here. i have another part planned as well if people are interested. as always reblogs and comments mean the world <3
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“I could never say no to my sweet baby bunny.”
A statement Leon had said off-hand in the heat of the moment. Something he’d told you as a comfort, a way of warming you up for your first intimate moments together. He hadn’t put much thought into it before it rolled out of his mouth. 
But damn, if only he’d known how true it would prove to be.
The words were ringing through his head right now as you dragged him through the mall on another Saturday he dedicated entirely to spending time with you. He’d already bought you a fair amount of stuff from cute frilly socks to pretty pink panties to some tiny t-shirts he knew he’d regret as soon as you used one to get your way. And now you were heading towards a shop tucked away in the farthest corner of the shopping center. His only hope was that the location meant it was the end of the line, the last stop on your trip.
From what he could see, it sold stuffed animals amongst other items that could clutter up his house. Luckily, the small plush toys seemed to be the only things drawing your attention. Your eyes scanned the rows before fixating on a specific one that sat on the bottom shelf. You crouched down to get and pulled it to your chest, standing up again so Leon could see your selection. His eyes soften as he notices your little cottontail twitching with excitement.
He can’t help the smile that spreads on his face at the sight. His sweet girl standing there with a small plush cow in her arms. The tufts of black and white fur jutted out the top of its head near a set of foamy horns. You looked up at him with puppy eyes, which he’d come to view as unfair since he’d chosen a bunny for a reason. But they worked on him all the same.
“Baby-” he starts, but you interject, predicting his argument.
“I don’t have a cow yet,” you plead, “It’s just one more.”
“Yeah, this one is just one more. And so is the next one, and the one after that, and the one after fifty more of these things,” he teases.
“C’mon, please,” you beg, stepping close to him to lean against his chest.
“Is this your way of telling me you want your own bed again? You’re just gonna fill the one we share with more and more of these until there’s no room and I’m pushed to the floor,” he jokes.
“No,” you deny, “Plus I put them away at night anyways.”
“Most of them,” he corrects.
“Cause I need my bear to sleep,” you say with a little pout.
He swears he almost swoons. You’re too fucking cute. He knows he’s spoiled you rotten. You’re treated better than the average hybrid to put it lightly, but he was past the point of paying that any mind. That shelter he’d picked you up from never let you have stuff like this. In his mind, he was righting their wrongs, burying those sad memories with as much cute shit as he could afford. And if other people didn’t approve, if they thought he should keep you silent and on a leash, he couldn’t care less.
Looking down at you now, playfully pleading with him for that stuffed animal, he knew he could never treat you like that. He rolls his eyes and messes with your hair, gently scratching the base of your floppy ears.
“Fine,” he says, “One more.”
You all but cheer with your excitement, bouncing up to give him a fat kiss on the cheek. He takes the stuffie from you and walks to the register to pay for it. You walk, lacing your hand with his and swinging your arms back and forth.
He looks over at you and instantly remembers why he always ends up giving in. Why he can never say no. Now that you had opened up, he couldn’t get enough of you. He’d loved you before that day a few months ago, the day when he’d caught you during your attempt at self-soothing with his pillow between your legs. But since that day, a whole new layer of you had been revealed to him. The sweet and shy bunny he’d met at the shelter touched his heart first, but the affectionate and needy girl you’d allowed him to see owned it now.
He pays for your little cow, adding another bag to the collection hanging from his arm, and leads you out of the store. You tuck yourself under his arm, clinging to his abdomen.
“Thank you, daddy,” you say quietly and press a kiss to his chest.
His heart throbs at the sound of the sweet name you’d attributed to him months ago. He has to remind himself that you’re in public before any other part of his body reacts.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he says and strokes one of your ears with his free hand.
Once the pair of you reach his car, he loads your stuff in before giving you a pat on the ass as you climb in the front seat. You’re all smiles, and he couldn’t feel better. He gets in the driver’s seat and switches the car on. Your hand goes for the controls to the music right away. He always let you pick when you were with him. Each song acted as a little glimpse into you and what you liked.
As you’re selecting one you like, he feels a buzz in his pocket. He fishes his phone out as you share some of the stuff you like about the song you put on. You then start asking him where you’re going next, but the plans slowly begin to unravel as he reads the message displayed over the picture of you he had as his screensaver.
“Shit…” he mutters to himself before looking back up at you. Your ears droop in tandem with his face dropping. “Baby, I gotta drop you back at the house. I gotta take care of some stuff at work for a bit.”
He sees the disappointment in your eyes, and it kills him.
“But… I thought you took the day off,” you say. Your mood rapidly depletes. It wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t fair. This was supposed to be a day where he was all yours. Twenty four hours where the D.S.O. laid no claim on him.
“I did, but I’ve told you how it is sometimes. I can’t get out of it some days,” he says.
“But you already stayed late all week. What else do they even need you for?” you ask. It may be irrational, but you can’t help how your mind floods with a sense of abandonment in the moment. You knew Leon would never do that, but the years you spent in that shelter had done a good job of convincing you otherwise.
“Just some formality stuff. I’ll be as quick as I can. You know I wouldn’t choose working over being with you,” he says.
Now he’s the one pleading. Your ears are flat on your head, and your eyes are fixed on your seat below you. He knows you feel wounded now even though you’re holding it in.
“If you’re mad it’s ok,” he whispers and reaches out to stroke your jawline, “You can be upset, honey. I won’t get mad at you. I know you were excited about today.”
As much as you had opened up, he could tell you still shied away from showing too much negative emotion. He knew you’d gone through some punishments at the shelter you were still too scared to talk about.
“It’s not your fault,” you say and shrug, dejection all over your features.
He sighs and starts the car, pulling out of the parking space, and heading towards the house. “I know it’s not, but you can still let out some frustration. I wouldn't think you’re ungrateful if that’s what you’re worried about. You wouldn’t get in trouble,” he says, keeping his tone gentle.
You bring your feet up onto the seat and retreat into yourself a bit. With a simple shake of your head, he knows the topic has closed.
He lets out a quiet sigh as he drives down the road.  It drips with the frustration that he’s letting you down. He can’t reach inside your head and pull out the negative effects of the shelter. He can’t tell the D.S.O. to fuck off and let him spend as many hours as he wants with his precious girl. All he can do is pull into the driveway and watch you get out of the car, your posture slightly slumped with the encroaching feelings of loneliness. You pull your shopping bags from the car. At least you give him a little parting kiss so he doesn’t feel completely emaciated.
He watches your sad trudge into the house before taking the car back out of the driveway and down the same road in the opposite direction.
Inside the house, the silence dominates you. You pad down the hallway to the bedroom that had once belonged solely to Leon. Dropping the bags of clothes near the door, you then hop on the bed and toss your new little cow up near your other pillows. Your eyes linger on the ceiling. You’d become familiar with the insignificant bumps and ridges above that provided a distraction on sleepless nights. Nights where you just needed to tune everything out and count them to avoid being haunted by the past.
Before Leon had taken you in, you always imagined you’d enjoy the quiet of a real home. The shelter always echoed with loud cries of sorrow, screams of anger, and whimpers of hopelessness. You’d lie on the thin mattress tucked in the corner of your area and try to dream of the days your bed would be lush with pillows and blankets, decorated how you liked and  surrounded by the peace of you and whoever had chosen to love you.
And now those days have come. They’re real. You didn’t have to deal with the constant atmosphere of despair or the looming threat of punishment for acting like a human being. So why was it so easy for you to tumble into sadness like this? Why did the quiet no longer mean sanctuary but rather the absence of the person you loved most in this world? You could never work it out. It was too hard. Any time you tried you ended up spiraling into even more self loathing. Because there’s nothing to be sad about anymore. There’s no reason to feel like this. That stuff shouldn’t bother you; it’s nothing more than a collection of ugly memories at this point. Why couldn’t you be grateful for the life Leon had given you? The man gave you just about anything under the sun you could want, so why did one minor inconvenience have to throw you off this badly?
The bags by the door didn’t make you smile anymore. They only brought guilt. You didn’t deserve them. All the gifts and love he lavished upon you would never make you into what you were supposed to be.
Your thoughts consume you for longer than you notice. The sky darkens outside, tinting the room with a violet haze. You lie on the bed under your self-made cloud of gloom for hours, not noticing how much time has passed until you hear the garage door closing and footsteps getting closer. You glance at the bedroom door as it opens silently.
Of course, it’s Leon. His eyes fill with concern at the sight of you. He’d seen you down before but never so deflated. His face now resembles how he looked when he caught you humping his pillow all those months ago, but it’s also distinctly different. He still has curiosity in his gaze, not able to pin down what exactly is the reason for the present circumstances. Though the reaction this time is more worried than surprised. Your present state doesn’t shock him; instead he feels a protective instinct flare within him.
He approaches the bed and sits next to your limp form. His palm rubs up and down your arm slowly. “Hey baby,” he says softly, “You doing ok?”
You look up at him and nod. Sitting up, you scoot to him and align your side with his. Your legs extend out in the opposite direction of him as your head rests on the curve of his shoulder. “I just missed you,” you say softly, your arms encircling the circumference of his bicep.
He presses a kiss to the crown of your head and starts rubbing your back. “You do anything fun while I was gone?” he asks.
“Nothing special,” you respond, “Think shopping made me sleepy.”
You speak with a soft tone of voice, attempting to further the idea that this was merely a bout of tiredness. His eyebrows rise with suspicion. As cute as you look with your cheek squished against his shoulder, he pulls your body around and seats you on his lap. His fingers sweep down your jaw and guide you to look up at him.
“You sure you’re just tired? Nothing else? We weren’t out for that long. I just wanna make sure you’re alright,” he says, trying to show you with how he speaks that it’s not an accusation.
But you remain firm in your convictions and nod. “Mhm, I’m already feeling better. I just needed a little rest,” you assure him and tuck your face against his neck.
It’s not a lie. You were feeling better now that he had returned, each passing moment had little improvement for your mood. But he knew something still wasn’t right. He strokes down the silky expanse of your ears while his other hand massages the base of your tail.
“Well, I missed you too, y’know? Couldn’t stop thinking about my sweet baby bunny the whole time I was at work,” he says.
You were already melting against his chest from the physical contact, but now a smile graces your features. “Really?” you ask, looking up at him again.
“Really,” he confirms, “I felt pretty bad leaving you all alone when it was supposed to be our day.”
“Oh, you don’t have to fe-” you start before he interrupts.
“No, I told you the day was gonna be for us. So how about this?” he asks, rubbing his thumb back and forth over your chin, “How about instead we make it a night for us? I’ll give you a nice bath, put you in some of the new stuff I got you.”
He kisses your head again, then your temple, then your cheek.
“Maybe daddy’ll even give you a special treat before you fall asleep,” he murmurs before kissing your lips.
Taking in a deep breath, you nod. You’re helpless when he treats you like this, disagreeing doesn’t even seem like an option.
“Will you get in the bath with me though?” you ask.
He grins and rises off the bed with you in his arms. “Of course. Anything for my baby bunny.”
The two of you head to the attached bathroom. He sits you on the counter while drawing the bath. Steam drifts up into the hair from the hot water pooling in the tub. He lights some candles, dims the lights, and lets you pick out the scent of bubbles you want.
You sit on the laminate countertop, lazily swinging your dangling legs as you watch him. He checks the temperature of the water multiple times and stares at the clear liquid coming from the bottle of bubble bath. Once that’s taken care of, it’s your turn. He slips your shirt over your head and your bottoms down your legs like you’re the most delicate thing on the face of the earth. Kisses land on your jaw as he pulls your panties off too and drops them in the hamper with the other articles of clothing. So meticulous about everything, at least when it came to you.
He scoops you up again and brings you to the bath, setting you down in the water before twisting the faucet off and discarding his own clothing. Then he climbs in behind you, slotting his body between yours and the cool marble.
“C’mere, baby. Nice and close to daddy,” he murmurs as he pulls you onto his thighs.
You sink into his chest. The feeling of his skin against yours is almost enough to make it all better, enough to make you forget about earlier. You nuzzle into his muscular front, making him smile. He strokes your face and takes care to avoid getting your ears wet.
Both baths and showers used to make you anxious, and he knew that. One of the details you had shared with him about your life at the shelter was having to share the space with all the other hybrids, including the bathrooms. You’d told him how much you hated it, and he could only imagine. He tried extra hard now to make both as comfortable for you as possible, pampering you like an absolute princess.
Thinking about all this, him going above and beyond for you like he always did, makes you turn more into his body. Your arms loop around him, and you place your head beside his, obscuring your downtrodden expression from his vision. Your chin rests on his shoulder as he returns the embrace and holds you closer.
“My perfect girl,” he whispers.
The words are complimentary, but right now, the second in particular stings like a blade. You nestle your face against the warmth of his throat and tighten your limbs around him, trying to drown out the bad swirling inside of you with the feeling of his flesh on yours.
He knows you’re still acting a little unusual. Maybe your heat was right around the corner and it had you feeling extra needy. Maybe you were just still a bit sad about missing out on a day with him. He wasn’t totally sure, but he just wanted to make it better. And the way you were starting to press against him, breasts flush against his chest and the warmth of your thighs pressing against either side of him had his cock starting to stiffen up.
“Sweet thing… you wanna feel a little closer, hm?” he murmurs, fingertips rubbing tiny circles into the small of your back.
You weakly nod.
“Is this close enough? Or should daddy get even closer? I think being inside would feel even better,” he whispers.
You nod again, this time with more motivation. “Please daddy,” you mumble.
“Of course. All you had to do was ask,” he says. He lazily strokes himself a few times beneath the water, getting himself a little harder before he lifts you slightly and slides in.
A soft moan drifts out of you as he lowers you again. You put your head back down on him and sit with the comfort of being full.
“There’s my baby bunny,” he coos in a low voice.
He also takes in the feeling of your tight walls sucking him in. The feeling of your warm, wet embrace wrapped around him.
The two of you sit quietly for a while more, the bathroom silent except for the occasional trickle of water when one of you shifts. Flickering lights from the candles paint the walls in dim orange as the scent of the bubble bath takes over the air completely.
But to Leon’s dismay, your mood doesn’t seem to be brightening up. You don’t start squirming with the need to ride him like you normally would. You don’t get extra sappy with him and start going for more kisses or longing looks. 
He reaches for the wash cloth resting on the brim of the tub and soaks it in the water. He squirts some soap onto it and gently rubs it up and down your back. He can feel your muscles losing some of their tension, but you’re still withdrawn. He continues tenderly cleaning you off while you sit with him inside you.
After a few moments more, not knowing becomes unbearable. “Honey, what’s wrong?” he asks softly.
“Nothing, I’m-”
“You’re not just sleepy,” he interjects. His voice is still loving despite the confrontational manner of the conversation. 
He gently guides you away from his body so you’re kneeling straight up in the bath. His eyes scan you over, trying to make this easier by figuring out what it is, but he can’t. He brings the wash cloth up to your chest and starts brushing it against your chest, between your breasts, and down your belly.
“I know something’s wrong, and I know you’re scared of talking about things like this. But I would honestly prefer you telling me what it is, even if it comes out harsh, to sitting here and trying to figure out what’s bothering you,” he says as he rubs your skin with the soft cloth.
“I don’t know,” you say timidly.
“I’m only asking because I care. I can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is. Seeing you hurting hurts me too, baby,” he responds.
“I’m not lying. I don’t know,” you say again, some defensiveness seeping into your words, “I don’t know why I feel bad. I don’t know how to tell you what’s wrong. I just- I felt sad earlier, and I know I shouldn’t feel sad which makes me more sad.”
He sees the panic rising in your eyes and hears your words becoming more rushed. In an effort to keep the situation controlled, he pulls you back to his chest, hushing your worries by engulfing you with his arms. You reciprocate the motion, eager to retreat from your emotions. He takes a pause to grapple with what you had just said.
“What do you mean you shouldn’t feel sad?” he asks.
“Because… because there’s no reason to be sad,” you answer.
“If you’re sad, then there’s a reason to be sad,” he says and looks down at you with growing concern.
You shake your head. “No, there isn’t,” you whimper. You start to feel tears collecting in your eyes while your throat feels like it’s constricting. “You make everything so perfect for me, and I can’t do the same for you.”
He’s beyond confused at this point. He feels a couple tears fall against his neck, and all he can do is hold you tighter.
“Woah, woah, baby, c’mon,” he says, trying to prevent more tears, “What are you talking about? Perfect? I don’t expect you to be perfect.”
“Yeah, exactly because you are perfect. You never push me. You never ask for too much. You never do anything bad, and I still get like this,” you cry.
“... Is that a bad thing?” he asks, still lost.
“No, but I just wanna be perfect for you too. You work so hard all the time at your job, and then you come home and you have to deal with me,” you weep and cling onto him more, “I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t say that,” he says in a hushed voice, “You’re exactly what I want. I couldn’t ask for anything more than you.”
“Yes, you could. You deserve someone who can give you what you give. You deserve someone who’s not fucked up by stupid stuff from the past,” you cry, “I’ll never be a perfect pet, and I don’t wanna disappoint you.”
His chest aches and tightens up when he hears that. He starts to pull out, figuring this wasn’t the time to be balls deep inside you, but you stay locked around him so he stays put.
“Sweetheart, you’re not… I don’t see you as…” he starts, being careful with his words.
You continue your quiet crying against him.
“You’re more than a pet to me,” he decides, soft but firm, “You don’t disappoint me ever. You can’t disappoint me because I don’t have expectations of what you should be. You’re not some dumb animal that I want to mold into a fantasy. I know you were treated like that before, but that’s not what you are to me. You’re my baby bunny. My little love.”
More tears spill out onto him. The bathwater ripples with the shaking of your body.
“You’re not fucked up,” he whispers, “That stuff you went through at the shelter, that’s a big deal. I don’t expect you to just be able to move on from that like it’s normal. You need some extra care, and I’ve known that since the first day you came home with me. It’s not a bad thing. It’s something I love about you. I’m not dealing with you when we do things like this. You’re not a burden to me.”
“Promise?” is all you can choke out right now.
“I promise, baby. Cross my heart and hope to die,” he murmurs and kisses your temple. He sighs and squeezes his arms around you before saying a little more amidst the quiet of the bathroom. “I’m not gonna pretend I know exactly how you feel. But I know how it is to get shoved into a life you didn’t ask for. To get expectations put on you that you can never meet. I don’t want you to feel like that with me. I love you, and I’m gonna love you whether you’re a perfect ‘pet’ or not. That’s not what’s important to me.”
You know he’s being genuine. You hold yourself closer and press a few faint kisses to his throat. “I’m sorry,” you cry.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” he whispers, “Just try and calm down for me, sweet girl. Take some deep breaths.”
You do as he says and work towards settling down. Your breathing slows, and the tears slowly stop. He grabs another washcloth and wets it. He guides your head up and gives you a small kiss before dabbing at your cheeks and cleaning your face of any remaining sadness. Your eyes flutter shut and relax under the loving care of his movements. He tends to your hair next, caring for it how you need.
Once your bath is done, he pulls out of you. You give him a little pout, bringing a smirk to his face.
“Patience, little one,” he teases before standing up with you in his arms.
He taps the stopper with his foot, draining the bathtub as he steps out. He sets you down so he can wrap a towel around his waist and then bundles you up in a big fluffy one. He dries you off and brings you in front of the mirror. He applies some product to your ears, something he’d gotten to keep them from drying out. You can’t help the smile on your face as his fingers gently rub down your long, fluffy ears. You can feel his love through his motions. He follows it with your hair routine, going through each step with precision and making sure to do it just how you like.
Before he takes you to the bedroom, his arms curl around your waist and he slots his head next to yours, gazing into your eyes through the reflective glass of the mirror.
“My baby bunny,” is all he says before pulling you out to the bed and laying you down on it.
He gets some of your lotion, a scent he’d become so familiar with. He rubs it all up and down your legs, taking time to lightly massage as he works. His hands glide all over your body, over your hips, up your sides, across your chest, and down your arms to your hands. Every inch of you was going to feel soft as silk if he could help it. The soft sighs of pleasure that come from you are enough to keep him thoroughly invested in the process.
When he’s finished, he plants a kiss on your lips and gets up. He heads to the door where you had dropped the shopping bags from earlier. He’s rifling through them, pulling out some new items you could wear to bed. He fishes out a cute t-shirt and some smooth panties when he hears your voice call to him.
“Wait, daddy?” you say.
“Yeah, baby?” he responds immediately, looking over his shoulder at you.
“Come back,” you request.
He looks at you curiously but stands up and walks back to the edge of the bed where you were sitting. Looking down at you lovingly, he holds your jaw and squeezes your cheeks. “What is it?”
“I don’t wanna get dressed yet… Maybe I could still have my treat… if you want to,” you initiate timidly while grabbing the hem of his towel.
He smiles and breathes out a laugh. “Yeah? You’re feeling better and need daddy again?” he asks teasingly, letting you tug the towel loose. It crumples to the floor behind his legs and unveils his cock to you.
“Always need my daddy,” you say, looking up at him.
“Don’t I know it,” he teases.
He pushes you back on the bed and crawls on top of you. Leaning down, he kisses and nips at your neck. His hands squeeze your hips. You nuzzle the side of his head affectionately. Out of the corner of your eye you see him swat away the plush cow that sat nearby on a pillow from when you’d thrown it earlier.
“Hey,” you say, feigning protest, “That’s mean. He didn’t do anything.”
“I’m sure he’ll forgive me,” he says with a grin.
Your body is already exposed from the bath, and he takes advantage. He kisses down along your collarbone towards the valley of your breasts. His palms cup them at the sides as his lips coast over them. He always took his time with you when he could. He’d get to rush when you were in heat and soaked just from being in the room with him.
Your fingers lace through the strands of his hair as you draw in a sharp breath. He laves at your nipples and the sensitive flesh of your breasts. His tongue caresses along the curves slowly, building your anticipation and causing your tummy to start fluttering.
His hand slides down your body, dipping between your legs to seek out your center. His fingers brush against the velvet folds and feel how they’re beginning to grow slick with your arousal. He swirls around your clit before pressing down on the sensitive nub and rubbing. Your lips part as you mewl.
“Is daddy already making you feel good, baby?” he coos.
You nod as your face starts to morph into that pouty look you get when you’re worked up. He loves every second of it and continues flicking his middle finger against the bud.
“You gonna let me show you how perfect you are, hm?” he asks.
You simply whine in response and tilt your head back against the pillows.
“That’s my girl. So fuckin’ pretty when you get like this,” he says.
He swipes his fingers up and down some more until he feels you're wet enough and ready to take him. He was certain you could take it without as much prep. Over the last couple of months, you’d you’d shown him the phrase “fucking like rabbits” was true after all, but he liked making you feel like you needed it. He like dragging his tip against your entrance, teasingly prodding the head of his cock at your hole. He savored the way you whine and squirm for it. Just like you were doing right now.
He pushes it in you, a deep groan coming from him as he sinks in all the way to the hilt. The way your eyes flutter and droop drives him crazy. His arms cage you down on the mattress as his knees sink into the plush blankets for leverage so that he can start thrusting.
“Perfect fit, that’s for sure,” he grunts, “No one else can take my cock like you can.”
You nod, whimpering and holding onto him. “Made for my daddy,” you say before gasping.
“Yeah you were. My perfect angel bunny. Sent down just for me,” he says and starts rocking his hips.
You writhe within the confines of his arms. Your breasts push up against his chest as your back arches. He fucks into you deep as he can, just how he knows you like it. Gripping your wrists, he pins them on the mattress, keeping you secure and in place so that he can piston his hips against you without interruption.
His own head tilts back, eyes shutting and lips separating the smallest bit. You gaze up at him like he’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. Every bit of him makes you clamp around his length.
“Such a good girl,” he mutters, “This is just what you needed. Just needed daddy to breed you and get you nice and calm again.”
That word makes your fuse burn faster, and you nod vigorously. “Can’t help it daddy,” you whimper, “I’m just a bunny. Don’t know any better.”
“Oh, I know, baby. Sweet little bunny like you needs to be bred. You need daddy’s cock to function, don’t you? Nothing feels right if you haven’t been bred,” he says, picking up more speed.
“Mhm,” you squeak.
Your legs start trembling hard as he hammers into your sweet spot over and over. To stabilize you, he lets go of your wrists and places his palms on the back of your thighs. He’s pressing you so hard into the mattress it feels like you might drop through straight to the floor. You cry out for him again and again, spurring him on.
“Good girl. I gotta breed my perfect little bunny. Fuck you nice and full like you deserve,” he grunts. The bed creaks with the force of his movements.
He pants as he drills into you. His head eventually falls forward to your shoulder again, but his hips don’t stop rolling.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum so hard, you’re gonna end up with a whole litter,” he moans.
Your eyes roll back and your legs lock around his waist. “Need it, daddy. Please,” you whine and clutch at his shoulders.
“I need it too baby. Need to knock up my sweet baby bunny. Gotta get you nice and full so everyone knows you’re all mine,” he says.
You’re both almost at the peak, gripping each other as tight as possible, sucking in air like there’s a limited supply. Both of you are moments from snapping when Leon’s eyes screw shut, his mind clouded by images of you pregnant with his babies. It’s too much, and he’s snapping into you like he’ll die otherwise.
“You’re gonna be the prettiest mama to our perfect babies,” he moans against you before his body starts sputtering.
The feeling of his cum flooding into you is enough to throw you over the edge with him. You seize up, back arching off the bed like you're possessed. You babble out some words of love, but all of it gets lost. You’re so jumbled up from the high, you both can only cling to each other as you ride it out.
You’re still breathing heavy as you come down, and so is he. Puffs of his breath come out right next to your ear. He lazily kisses below the lobe as you come back to reality.
“You see how important to me you are? See how much I love you?” he murmurs as he carefully rolls over and brings you to rest on his chest with him still buried inside you.
You nod and peck his jaw as you settle against him.
“Good. I never want you thinking like that again. If you ever need a reminder of what I think of you, I want you to tell me, and I’ll give you this same reminder.”
“I will,” you agree softly as he strokes your back.
You’re both exhausted from the exertion and the long day. He’s content to just melt into the bed while tangled up with you.
“Gonna keep you plugged up for a while, baby. Gotta make sure it takes, my sweet girl,” he mumbles as his eyes start drooping.
You gaze up at him, pretty sure you have hearts in your eyes. Your doubt and sadness had been abated for now. You nuzzle him and kiss his chest before trying to get some rest yourself. 
“Love you daddy. So so much,” you whisper.
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abyssruler · 1 year
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flowers and unplanned proposals
xiao x gn!reader
if someone gifts an adeptus with flowers, it means you are proposing to them, and if they take it, it means they accept the proposal. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you ask), you weren’t aware of such a custom. or — xiao thinks you’re married, but you just thought flowers would look nice on him.
fluff. comedy-ish. accidental malewife acquisition. featuring reader being clueless, xiao being hopeless, and lumine and hu tao being your biggest supporters
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It started with a walk on the road as an acquaintance accompanied you.
There’d been a wild flower by the side, with white and lilac petals that you’d thought, rather presumptuously, would suit the dour faced adeptus beside you. So, you plucked it and impulsively handed it to him, a smile on your face and a shocked one on his.
His fingers closed around the flower’s stem, the stern lines of his face softening as he gazed at the tiny petals that glittered in the sun.
You’ve never been rid of him since.
Your friend Xiao could be described as protective at best and possessive at worst. It’s not a bad thing, of course! Caring for a friend is always a good thing in your books, but sometimes, you think he takes the word ‘caring’ to an almost extreme degree.
Take, for instance, now.
“Xiao?”
He hums from his spot on the sill of your window, not even sitting, no, he’s crouched on it, balanced on the thin ledge at the tips of his toes and keeping his eyes (which oddly glowed like a cat’s) peeled for any danger. Like this, he almost looks like a bird perched on a branch.
You let out an awkward laugh. “You know, I appreciate you doing this for me, keeping me safe and all, but I think I can spend the night on my own safely.”
His head whips to you so fast you almost feared he’d get neck cramps, an expression of surprise and… hurt? on his face.
“You… don’t want me here?”
You’ve never backtracked so fast in your life. “No! I mean, yes—but not in the way you’re thinking!”
He looks forlorn now, stepping down the windowsill and shoulders hunched in a similar manner to that of a cat pulling its ears down its head. “Is this what the Traveler meant by sleeping on the couch?”
You’re not sure what to do, but it seems like he wants to sleep on the couch? Puzzled, you smile encouragingly even though you don’t quite understand his words. “Er, if you want to sleep on the couch, you’re welcome to do so?”
His face falls.
“And, I don’t know, he just became all—sad? Just, I felt so bad for basically kicking him out of my room, and now that I’m thinking more on it, I should’ve just offered to let him sleep beside me. Like a, um, a sleepover!”
There’s a distinctly bashful look on your face and, oh god, you’re drawing little circles on the table with your finger, an almost dreamy glint in your eyes.
Sweet Jesus that doesn’t exist in this world, Lumine is going to barf.
She slams her hands on the table, startling you in the process as she leans down and says with an exasperated face, “Have you considered that maybe you actually like him and he—”
“What?!” you squawk, mouth open in disbelief and a mortified look contorting your features. “That’s—don’t say such things, Lumi!”
She drops back down her chair, leveling you with a look that basically said, are you for real right now?
“It’s written all over your face—”
You quickly slap both hands on your cheeks, turning your head away. “I don’t like him! How could I ever… he’s an adeptus and I…”
“And you made an adeptus sleep on your couch,” Lumine deadpans.
She can feel the way your face burned at the reminder. You slump over the table, burying your head in your arms and bemoaning your decision. “I didn’t mean to disrespect him…”
“Oh, I’m sure disrespect was the farthest thing you did to him,” she mutters beneath her breath. Broke his heart, shattered his hopes and dreams, devastated him—Lumine can name a few more.
But then, you suddenly straighten up, determination lining your face. There’s a look in your eyes that tells Lumine she should probably stop you from doing whatever idiotic thing—however in good faith it might be—that you’re about to do.
“I should give him some flowers as an apology. He always gets so… not exactly happy but—warm, that’s it. He feels warmer whenever I give him flowers.” You smile, reminiscing on whatever moments you had with him. You stand up, looking down at the empty plates all over the table before looking at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, could you foot the bill this time?”
Lumine sighs. She’s still got money from the last commission Ningguang made her do, so she supposes she can do it. Just this once. “Fine, but you’re paying for our next outing!”
You beam, thanking her before running to the nearest flower shop or wherever it is you’re going to be getting those flowers from.
“Make sure to let him sleep on your bed next time!” Lumine yells to your retreating back, ignoring the strange, almost scandalized, looks from nearby patrons.
You find him at your house, completely ignoring how strange it is that a friend has complete access to your house including a spare key and extra clothes on the closet just for him. It’s simply become the norm, is all. And he’s a good—you don’t quite know what to call him, roommate? you’ll settle for friend—friend, helping you with the chores and often accompanying you to the market when you need new groceries—but only during the early mornings, of course. You know how much he dislikes crowds.
“I’m home!”
The response comes immediate and, judging by the direction, it came from the kitchen, “Welcome home.”
The large bouquet of glaze lilies interspersed with roses and qingxin flowers is heavy on your arms as you walked to the kitchen. Xiao is there, a broom in hand which he sets aside once he sees you and what you’re carrying.
“Here!” You grin, extending the bouquet forward and into his arms.
He accepts it, a flush to his cheeks and looking distinctly flustered by the gift. “I… thank you.”
“It’s an apology.”
His eyes snap to yours, iridescent gold piercing through you. There’s something almost vulnerable in the way he’s gazing at you, hands tightening around the flowers.
You fiddle with your fingers. “Well, I wanted to say sorry for making you sleep on the couch. If you’d like, you can sleep beside me tonight.”
Something in him relaxes, tension bleeding out of his posture as he smiles, small and near unnoticeable to anyone who didn’t know him so well.
For some reason, the sight of it makes your heart leap.
Lumine’s words repeat in your mind.
Have you considered that maybe you actually like him?
No, you think with dread, absolutely not.
“Yes,” Hu Tao crows in delight, “You’re absolutely in love!”
“See, that’s what I tried to say yesterday, but nooo. Oh, Lumi, Xiao is just a friend,” Lumine grouches, imitating your voice and utterly failing because while she may be strong enough to fight monsters and gods, that girl has absolutely no talent when it comes to mimicking.
Your palms cover your face that feels warm to touch. “I do not sound like that. And it’s true, we really are just friends!”
“Of course, because friends do things like living together and sleeping on the same bed and holding hands—” You open your mouth to protest, but Hu Tao doesn’t let you interrupt, “—don’t deny it! I saw you last week near Liuli Pavilion, and he was holding your hand and carrying a bag of food!”
“He’s just really helpful! He’s an adeptus,” you argue, though it sounds weak even to your own ears.
“And do all adepti live with a human, do they sleep with them—”
“You make it sound so lewd, Lumi!”
“—do they hold their hands and go grocery shopping at five in the morning with them?” Lumine pierces you with those honey gold eyes of hers. “Did you know I barely have anything to do in the Adventurer’s Guild here in Liyue besides babysitting and errands because someone—namely, an adeptus who coincidentally goes by the name Xiao—keeps killing all the monsters within the area?”
Hu Tao cackles. “He always asks about you whenever I encounter him at Wuwang Hill.”
You level her with an incredulous look. “What were you even doing there?”
“Hiding bodies, duh!” At your horrified look, she winks. “Just kidding!”
You shake off Hu Tao’s laughter and pinch your lips together. “Look, it’s—we’re just friends. That’s all there is to it.”
Lumine huffs, “Yeah, sure, because friends like you two give each other flowers everyday. How does your house still have space in it for more?”
You would’ve refuted her words, would’ve argued that no, you don’t give each other flowers everyday, just on a regular basis—but Hu Tao’s sudden silence concerned you more than what Lumine said. The funeral director turns her head to you with wide eyes.
“You gave him flowers?” she asks, an odd tone to her voice.
Your brows furrow at her uncharacteristic seriousness. “Um, yes? I do it all the time.”
She leapt forward, grabbing your shoulders and lips twitching into something you could almost call glee. “And he accepted it?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
Hu Tao lets go of your shoulders to tilt her head back and laugh. Not the nice little giggles she does after a successful prank, no, this is more manic. The kind that wouldn’t make you think, oh how sweet, but instead makes you think, oh this girl belongs in a facility.
Even Lumine seems confused by her reaction, joining you in watching her like she’s just grown two heads. Hu Tao takes one look at both of your expressions and dissolves into another fit of laughter.
“Oh, dear. And you don’t even know what it means!” she says in between laughs.
Lumine, having had enough of being in the dark, grabs Hu Tao’s face with both hands and forces her to look at her in the eye. “What does it mean?”
Hu Tao grins, gaze darting to you. “When you give an adeptus flowers, it means you’re proposing to them.”
You and Lumine gape, understanding dawning on your heads, though there’s horror on your part at what it could mean.
But Hu Tao doesn’t stop there, “And if they take it…”
You await her next words with bated breath, Lumine seemingly on the edge of her seat as well.
“…It means they accept your proposal.”
Lumine’s screech of delight at this newfound information drowns out the metaphorical sound of your world falling apart and being built anew.
You come home in a daze, eyes blankly staring ahead and unaware of your surroundings until you blink, and suddenly, you’re sitting at the dining table, a plate of steaming shrimp balls being placed in front of you.
Xiao crouches by your chair, examining your face with worried eyes. “Are you well?”
Your throat shrivels up. All the words and arguments you’d been planning to say earlier dying on your tongue. So, instead, you nod. He doesn’t outwardly look relieved, but the softness in his touch belies his care as he places a single stemmed qingxin flower on your palm.
It’s still fresh, you notice, dew gathering on the petals and the scent still present.
Xiao sits on the chair opposite yours, looking at anything and anywhere but your eyes. “I plucked it from the highest mountains of Jueyun Karst, blessed by Cloud Retainer and said to ward away unwanted dreams.”
You stare down at it, at the white petals that feel soft against the pads of your fingers, heart beating out of your chest and hands clammy and breaths labored, a pleasant twist to your gut as you realized that he’d gone out of his way to climb a mountain and have it blessed by an adeptus just to give it to you. There’s being friends, handing each other flowers they saw on the road or bought at a shop, and then, there’s this.
Your mouth feels dry, your chest feels full, and there’s something on the tip of your tongue begging to be let out.
“Xiao,” you start, finally gaining the courage to look up and meet his eyes. “What are we?”
His lips part, eyes widening the slightest amount that tells you he’s unsure what brought this question on and how to answer it.
You shake your head. “Never mind. Just tell me this—are we… engaged?”
At this, Xiao seems to relax. “No.”
You barely have the chance to feel a mix of relief and disappointment, though why you’d feel disappointment at having proof that you and Xiao really are just friends—
He smiles, a small one but no less brighter for it. “We are married, aren’t we?”
And oh.
Oh.
It’s not until now, with the confirmation of everything you dreaded (everything you’d hoped and wanted and yearned for desperately) that you realize how much you’ve longed for something more with him—how much you’ve longed for him.
“Xiao,” you say, eyes crinkling at the corners and cheeks aching with the intensity of your smile, “I love you.”
He startles, blinking up at you with wide eyes, red creeping up his cheeks, but before he can say anything you know he’s not quite prepared to say yet, you continue, still a little indignant at discovering you’d been married without a clue.
“But I demand a proper wedding ceremony!”
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word count: 2.2k
edit: the semi part 2 y’all have been asking for
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year
Note
Could you do Daddy kink König x fem reader pls 🙏👉👈
König w/ a Daddy Kink
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Warnings: 18+, Daddy Kink, Dominant König, Breeding Kink, Forced Breeding Kink, Consensual Non-Con/Dub-Con Kink (König would never force himself on you; he loves you very much and everything you do together is explicitly consensual), Somnophilia, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Submissive Reader, Fem Reader, Spanking, Discipline, Punishment, Petnames, Pussy Slapping, Plugging, Sadism, König’s dick is H U G E, Profanity, Fluff, etc.
DADDY KONIG AAAAAAAHHHHHH
Okay, Dom König absolutely has a daddy kink.
And you realised it by accident when you screamed “Daddy!” as he made you cum.
Body riddled with the ebbing of your orgasm, heaving chest flush against König’s, you lolled against him, perfectly oblivious to what you’d unearthed in König.
“What was that, Engel?” König said, panting, twitching, head tilting as he looked down at you.
You could barely talk, nevermind move.
When you didn’t answer, still panting heavily, König took your face in his hand, gripping your jaw, making you wince.
“Don’t test my patience, Engel.” His voice was low and rasping with lust. “I’m sure you don’t want me to pound you again. Not while you’re so…” He pressed his fingers against the bruised, sensitive skin of your lips.
You yelped, back arching, pushing you further into König’s chest.
“I…I called you…” Your gaze fell from his sharp eyes, drifting off to the side, shame obscuring your confidence and rendering you incapable of facing him.
“Go on,” König encouraged. “Say it.”
“Daddy…”
König shivered, his skin breaking out into goosebumps. He sucked in a hiss between his teeth, and, slowly, ground his half-hard cock against your aching flower. You whined. König growled.
“Mmmh, Darling,” his breath shuttered, “such a good girl.”
König rubbed against your clit, making you moan - cry - against him.
“M’gonna fuck you so hard ‘til–”
He groaned, his tip catching your lips. God, so tempting - so inviting.
“‘Til you make me a daddy.”
Expect many thorough breeding sessions after this.
Literally just König filling you until you look and feel like you’re about to burst, only for him to plug you and make you keep his seed inside you.
“Pull it out and I’ll keep going until you actually pop.”
Definitely into somnophilia.
Will wake up at an odd hour of the morning with a raging hard-on and will just feed his length into your pussy, feeling you squeeze him while you sleep.
“Gonna fill you up, Baby,” he’d whisper in your ear, giving a low moan when you shift in your sleep and invite him deeper.
If you wake up during this and tell König to: “Nnng, stop - please, don’t–”
You’re just gonna make him cum harder, draw him to his end quicker.
That being said, he has a slight (massive) dub-con kink.
Also, consensual forced breeding kink.
“N-no! Please, Daddy, I don’t wanna get pregnant–”
“Shut your fucking mouth,” König hissed, his cock bulging in your stomach, his hands pinning your wrists above your head.
“I’ll breed you as much as I like; m’gonna make sure you never leave this house again–” he moaned as he felt himself succumbing to his release, his member twitching. “So beautiful – you’re gonna look so pretty, swollen with my offspring.”
Well, given you actually want to bring a child into the world, of course.
If not, you and König can simply pretend, still indulging König’s daddy kink at every given opportunity.
König refuses to let you refer to him by anything other than ‘Daddy’ when he’s in the mood - failure to do so results in some serious pussy slapping.
Doesn’t matter how sensitive you are; he’s going to make sure you remember to call him Daddy next time.
The same goes for if you start being bratty.
König’s kink is not an invitation for you to start acting fussy.
“Oh, it’s too big?” he said, his eyes wide – mirroring and mocking your expression – inching his cock inside you, stretching you over him.
You whined, scowling, eyes doe and glistening.
“Daddy, it hurts!” you squealed. “Take it out, please–”
“Shh, Princess. Don’t make me angry.” König said, his eyes darkening. “Or I’ll make it hurt more.”
Definitely into discipline and spanking.
Will sometimes do it even if you haven’t warranted it.
Slaps your backside and thighs with his belt, breath quivering when he hears the sound of leather against skin, sees the red marks across your body.
And when a wide-eyed, confused expression crosses your face, he just smiles cruelly down at you.
“Shouldn’t be walking around with that tight little ass if you didn’t want me to hit it.”
In more ways than one *wink*.
Outside of the bedroom, calling König ‘Daddy’ is a proven way to get him to do anything for you.
Just bat your eyelashes at him and say in your softest voice: “Daddyyy, the cookie jar’s too far away; will you get it for me?”
And he’s DONE.
“Of course, Princess. Anything for you.”
He’s just so whipped for you.
Looks at you like you’re the Universe and all its celestial creations.
Tends to your every need, without question or hesitation.
Literally will not rest until all your needs are met and surpassed.
Sit in his lap, PLEASE.
He’ll literally just die in his seat if you do. Regardless of how dominant König’s feeling, he’s still vulnerable to your gentle advances.
And just vulnerable to you, to be honest.
But love will do that to a person, and König, a man whose profession made him think he was forced never to feel love himself, has never wanted to protect something - or someone - more.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)
Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist
AO3 Wattpad
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adams-angels · 2 months
Note
I want to see my man in pain, Adam break down after reader said they want to break up (fluff in the end pls) 😞
I reaaaally enjoyed writing this
I love pain 🥹
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
Used
Adam POV
It was a normal night. Out talking to some babes. Tellin' them how great I am. Because, well, I AM! HA! I'm the first fucking man! These bitches swarm me. Who am I to deny them. I check my phone a see y/n has text me. "Ugh, what do you want now you needy fuckin'" I can't believe what I'm reading.
"we're done."
My heart sinks. Why is it sinking. I don't care. I'm fucking ADAM!! Adam stands, pushing away the crowd of angels surrounding him and tries calling you. "Come on.. come on, pick up, you dumb bitch." No answer. NO FUCKING ANSWER. His head spins. Panic sets in as. This isn't happening. Not again.
You think you're better than me?! You're nothing! I'm Adam!! I can get ANYONE I FUCKING WANT YOU THINK I NEED YOU?!
I'VE GOT TONS OF BITCHES WAITING FOR ME!
I DONT NEED YOU I NEVER NEEDED YOU!
He tries calling you again. No answer. "FUCK!" He expands his wings and shoots up, smashing through the skylight. He continues to text and call as he makes his away to your apartment. "FUCKING ANSWER ME!" He screams into his phone. By the time he arrives at your apartment he calms himself down, "I can get them back." He thinks to himself as he lands on your balcony. "They didn't mean it. They couldn't of."
As he reaches for the handle of the sliding door his hand shakes. "No, no, no, no." He grips onto his wrist stepping back from the door, being stopped my the railing. He slides down to the floor. "No, no, no...." His voice cracks, fear, sadness, anger. He never let himself get close. At least that's what he told himself. After the second wife also betrayed him he swore he'd never care so he would never hurt. But somewhere along the way, he fell for you. Although he denied himself.
He rushed to remove his mask, feeling like he can't breathe. Once he got it off he threw it aside. Clutching at his chest as tears escaped from his eyes. "No, no, no.." he whimpered. He sat on the floor for an hour. Thinking about you. What he did wrong. If he did something terrible. Why you're ending it. There wasn't even anything to end and yet his world felt like it was crashing around him.
Once he calmed down he leaned forward and sighed. Wiping his cheeks as he stood up and put his mask back on. He reached for the handle, hesitating before opening the sliding door. He sees you in your bed, asleep. He closed the door quietly and just watched you. For about half an hour before he realised how much a creep he's being. He walked into your livingroom. He's been here plenty times before. He memorized the layout.
He walks over to one of your succulents. You loved them. Once he came over and accidentally knocked one on the floor. You were so upset. He didn't see the big deal but he still went out of his way to buy you a new pot for it and a new succulent altogether. Just something to say he was sorry without actually saying sorry. He smiled as he remembered your joy. He sat on the couch and waited.
A couple hours later he heard rustling in your room. He shot up from the couch and heading to your bedroom, freezing at the doorway as he sees you wake. You scream in surprise, falling off your bed. He noticed your phone falling off the nightstand with you. His chest tightens. Your phone. Those horrible texts. "Adam?! What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!" You yell at him, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He stands there, feeling awkward. "You want to leave me?" He asked, trying hard to not break his voice. You tut, he watches at you stand, wanting to help but to afraid to move. "You say that like you cared." You snap, picking your phone up from the floor. "Don't look at that." He took a step towards you, reaching out but you recoiled. "Why? You next me nasty shit? Telling me I'm worthless? That I was lucky to -" he interrupted, "y/n, I'm sorry. I just want to know what I did wrong."
Adam braces himself. For you to yell. For you to scream. For you to tell him you love someone else. "I just... I can't... I don't want to be a place holder for you." His shoulders slump down he hesitantly steps closer to you "What are you talking about?" He carefully slides his hand under yours "I don't want to be someone you just use until you find someone better." His fingers interlace with your as his other hand brushes your hair from you face. His breath catches seeing your red, watery eyes "I just want to be... I don't know, Adam."
His hand cups your face. He looks into your eyes and for the first time in eons he chose to be vulnerable. "Be mine?" He watches you shrug. Rightfully assuming you've misunderstood his request he clarifies "no, I'm asking. Be mine." The way you look at him makes his chest tighten in fear. "What?" He recoiled. "I mean, maybe we could start again? Like.. properly?"
"You mean like.. date? What happened to "I don't date. I'm the first man. I have the first penis ever bla bla!"" He glares at you. Of course you'd remember that. "I don't sound like that." "You do." Adam brow furrows in in frustration. "Whatever, y/n, please. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me." He felt pathetic. He was pathetic. "I'll have to think about it." His chest tightened. His heart beating a million miles a minute. You'd see how pale he would be if he wasn't wearing the mask. "H-how long will that take?" He asked, desperation leaking out of him.
"I don't know, Adam." You shrug. The air was thick. He was struggling to breath and needed to get out of there. "I really care about you, y/n. You have to believe me, babe." He kisses your hand before releasing it. "Just.. uh... Delete those texts. I didn't mean any of it." He heads to the sliding door he entered from, opening it and expanding his wings as he jumps off. He looks behind to see if you watched leave like you've done so maybe times before. But you're not there.
It's been a month. A whole month. It should feel like nothing to him considering how long he's been in existence yet it feels like a years. He sees you about. With your friends. Getting groceries. Whenever his eyes catch on to you he freezes. No matter what he's doing.
He can't keep this up. He didn't want to pressure you. Make you feel like you had to choose him. But fuck he needed you to choose him. He was in his office. But he couldn't focus. He was so tired, not being able to sleep well without you. Even if he didn't sleep the whole night it was always nice knowing you were there no matter what. At least that's what he used to think.
He checked his phone to see nothing from you. It was too much. He was alone. You were never coming back. No one ever comes back. Lilith left him. Eve left him. Now you. "Fuck. FUCK!" He picks up his coffee and punts it at the wall. He can't stay here. He needs to find you. He needs you back.
He swung the door open and there you were. He couldn't believe it. He thought you'd at least text him. Not show up at his office! His feathers were literally ruffled, his office looks like a bombs hit it. "Y/n?" He said softly, it was like time stopped for a minute. He wish it did. Then he could scoop you in his arms and never let you leave. He snapped back into reality changing his expression quickly, not want anyone to see a softer side to him. "Come in." He stands aside letting you in to his office. He hates that you didn't text. He would of cleaned up there were documents everywhere, a smashed mug on the floor and coffee stains on the wall. He hated it was such a mess for you. "Bad day?" You commented he grumbled in response. "There are no bad days in heaven." He mumbled as he slumps down on his office chair.
Resting his chin on the back of his hand as he watches you walk over to his office window, opening it. The musky smell almost dissipating immediately "So... I thought about it." He perks up, sitting straight, watching you like a hawk. "And?"
"and I'm willing to start again. Properly." He immediately bolts from his chair, wrapping his arms around you. "Fuck, thank fucking Christ. Don't do that to me again. Please." His voice breaks, wings surrounded the both of you. "Please, I'm sorry. I'll treat you so much better." "Promise?" "Yes, promise."
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
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yearning-for-autumn · 3 months
Note
pls oh pls oh pls can you write something with jealous/possessive azriel. not like dark and toxic but ya know. ur night at the opera was great
My Love, Mine all Mine
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A/N: I loved this request, and I loved writing this. I'm scared to put this out into the world because it's probably the filthiest thing I've ever written, but I hope you enjoy!
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Word Count: 871
Warnings: Absolutely sinful smut, face slapping (but like you enjoy it), jealous/possessive Azriel
“Mine.” He growled, teeth sinking into the tender flesh of your neck. You whimper and his grin is feral as he licks over the mark, soothing the hurt. Your neck and shoulders are already littered with bites and bruises, but it would take much more to satisfy Azriel.
He knew it was irrational to be this jealous, Cassian was a flirt and always had been. But when he saw you giggling, batting your eyelashes at his brother in arms, he couldn’t help the primal rage that consumed him. He grabbed your arm, knowing deep down you were trying to provoke him. His shadows swirled around your throat, and Cassian’s laughter was the last thing either of you heard before you were winnowed up to his room. Azriel was on you in an instant, frustrated, angry, his teeth close to drawing blood.
“Need to make them know you’re mine.” He mumbled against your skin. All clothes had been shoved off by now, and you were lying prone beneath him. His hips rutted against the bed as he lay on top of you, restraining you with his body weight, pinning you beneath him. His scarred hands held yours over your head so that even as you wriggled you were helpless to escape. He snarled.
“Where are you trying to go, Bunny? Hmm?” And you gave up. He chuckled lowly.
“If you want to be free so much, here.” He pulled you up and sat up against the headboard, patting his thighs. “Come ride me.”
If you weren’t already wet enough to take him, you were now. So much so that your inner thighs glistened. Azriel dragged his gaze from your bitten neck, to your soaking centre. His shadows curled around your lower back, forcing you to crawl over and straddle his hips. Azriel lifted you so that you sat up on your knees and bent down, licking the wetness from your thighs. A gravelly moan emanated from deep in his chest. He loved to taste his girl. Your breath shallowed as he drew closer to your pussy with every swipe of his tongue, then he stopped just short of it. You whined,
“Azzie, please.” You begged, but were greeted only by a feral smirk. He pushed you down hard onto his cock without warning and you choked out a moan, the size of him filling every inch of you. Your head tipped back and your tongue lolled as he thrust upwards, setting a punishing pace, bouncing you feverishly in his lap as his eyes squeezed shut.
“Fuck yeah, f-fuck, you’re my girl. Say it. Say you’re my girl.” He groaned, his hands squeezing your bum as he lifted you up and dropping you down over and over. You slurred incoherently, unable to form thoughts more complex than ‘Azriel, Azriel, Azriel.’ This wasn’t enough and with an unnecessary show of strength he flipped you over, your legs trapped under him and hooked over his shoulders. A mating press. You squealed as his length twitched inside of you and he began pounding into you, brushing your cervix. His shadows swirled around you neck and squeezed. He laughed at something they whispered to him, but he didn’t share it with you. Leaning down, Azriel licked the shell of your ear, nibbled at your earlobe.
“I asked nicely, bunny.” He said lowly, “Say you’re mine.”
“I’m your, I-I’m all yours.” You rasp, “I’m your girl, Azzie.”
“Fuck yeah you are. You’re not Cassie’s girl.” He growled.
“I-I wasn’t—” You were cut off with a smack, Azriel’s hand coming up to hit you across the cheek. Tears welled in your eyes at the sting, but it sent hot stripes of pleasure down your stomach. You shouldn’t love it, but Cauldron you did. Azriel cooed, rubbing his hand gently over your reddening cheek. He kissed you, so softly, his pace slowing to give you a much needed break. A few tears spilled over. Azriel looked down at you with an intensity of love that knocked the wind from you, you curled your fingers in his soft hair. Peppering you with little kisses he began thrusting into you again.
“I love you, babygirl.” He soothed, and you smiled up at him, cock drunk.
“I love you, Azzie.”
His hand snaked down between you to thumb at your clit and his pace picked up as he chased his release. Your own high was building quickly, your stomach tightening and head falling back against the pillows. You bucked your hips and tightened your fingers in his hair as you broke around him with a scream. Your vision blurred and your head felt dizzy. Azriel rode you through it, his forehead falling to yours as his hips stuttered and he filled you with his seed, claiming you. He came hard and by his pained moans, it felt amazing. Your hand stroked down the small of his back, encouragingly.
As he pulled out, a trail of cum came with him and you both stared at the utter mess he had made of you. You trailed a finger into it, and brought it up to your mouth, licking it clean as Azriel watched with wide eyes.
“Mm,” You moaned gently, “You’re all mine, Az.”
A/N: This is an established relationship fic, I firmly believe Azriel would have already established sexy boundaries with you. And best believe the aftercare after this would be second to none. Anyway, thank you for requesting!
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familyvideostevie · 3 months
Text
a kind of hunger | chapter 2
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joel miller x fem!reader
series masterlist
an offer from your employer sets your life on track and throws it into a new kind of chaos at the same time. where does joel miller fit into it all?
length: 5.9k
Warnings: 18+ smut, fem!reader, unspecified age gap, heavy petting, joel having a moment with r's tits, hand stuff, dirty talk, painful sex for a second, riding (p in v sex), like a really small smidge of breeding kink, emotional turmoil from r cause what else is she gonna do, some plot! wow! a/n: finally! another chapter. it’s short but i think we’re getting somewhere. Let me know what you think! huge thank you to @macfrog for your eyes and for keeping my sanity in check and @bageldaddy for teaching me how to use commas, letting me borrow your bar, and telling me to just “slutty hallmark it.” this is for you guys. 
navigation | 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀
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Bill’s offer costs you one night of sleep and that’s all.
Taking over the bar goes against every rule you've had for yourself up until now, everything that’s kept you going and on your feet.
You lose when you stick around. You get hurt when you get attached. Always keep moving. 
But your night with Joel seems to have shaken something loose. You’ve got a pit in your stomach, a hunger set alight by his eyes and his hands and his attention. It’s like he reminded you how to want, how to stop letting the world turn under your feet and dig in your heels instead.
And there’s what Bill said, the thing that won't leave you alone. You think no one notices, but I notice. We all notice.
It’s easy to lie to yourself about a lot of things: that you don’t mind this life, its constant movement and instability. That it’s made you crafty. That if you picked up and left right now, you’d be fine. No one would miss you, no one would notice. The names and faces you’ve learned would fade as soon as you found new ones somewhere else. 
You’ve been a tight fist your whole life, only hanging onto what can fit into your rough and weathered palm, half-moon crescents bleeding that damn desperate hope you can never seem to scrub off. It means a whole lot of avoiding things that could matter so you can’t lose them, can’t let them slip through your fingers. A family who saw your need for space and control and turned it into isolation and disinterest, who drove you away as soon as you were able to leave. College was a bust. Relationships gone sour have taught you not to rely on anyone. Failed experiment after failed experiment, just looking for something to stick. It’s better to be alone, right?
That tight fist keeps anyone out, anyway. It’s carefully rolled bills in plastic bags in the toe of a pair of sneakers just in case. It’s talking just enough to get you a place to stay, a job, a ride, but not enough that anyone remembers your face, even if you wish they would. 
It’s not one big thing. It’s a million small ones. And nothing ever lasts. You never last; always cutting and running before it can get real, before they can see the truth of you and find it lacking.
You’ve been looking for the missing piece for years now, the thing that will make you feel like you’ve finally made it somewhere where you’re needed enough to stick around. Where you can stop quitting, where you can put down roots. Where you can be wanted.
You just aren’t sure it’s possible. You’ve done so many things, seen so much, that you feel like it’s too late to be anything other than this.
It’s easy to believe all of that until someone like Joel sees through it – until someone like Bill tells you none of it is true. 
Fuck it. 
You call Bill the next morning and tell him you'll take over Frank's. 
According to him, the turnaround will be quick. He'll have someone "official" draw up the paperwork. You tell him you won't change the name. You tell him you will make some repairs, fix the cracked vinyl booths, and give the floors a refinish, and –
"Do whatever the fuck you want," he grumbles over the phone. "It's your bar."
It sure is. 
You own something, now. You belong somewhere – even if it’s just because you have payslips to sign and counters to clean. But maybe this time, if you try hard enough, you can get it right.
You have a meeting to tell the staff that you’re taking over. There are only five of you – two college kids from a town over, the guy who works part-time at the garage by the highway, and an old butch called Pat you find vaguely frightening who’s been working here longer than you care to ask. 
It’s probably the first time all five of you have been in the same room. None of them seem disappointed in Bill’s retirement, and they’re on board with your plan for renovations. Especially after you assure them they’ll be paid even if you close for a bit to get it all done.
Joel doesn't come in. You notice, but don’t spare it too much thought. You can’t because the bar is a fucking nightmare all week.
The keg lines keep blocking, the jukebox dies a sudden staticky death, and some asshole scratches the pool table hard enough to tear up the felt. Everyone and everything is pissing you off. It’s an effort not to spend all of your breaks on that milk crate in the alley with your head in your hands. 
It feels like Frank’s is hazing you. After all you’ve done for it, you feel a little betrayed.
“Why the hell do you think I’m retiring?” Bill says when you call to bitch about it. “This shit is a fuck ton of work.” 
By Friday, you're at your wit's end. 
The rush has come and gone, and now it’s slow. Slow enough that you might be worried, but Pat has told you before that this is just how it is in small towns, sometimes. 
That, or maybe your bad mood scared everyone off. Maybe they're tired of the shitty atmosphere, of the cloudy glasses and squeaking stools, maybe they –
You pop an olive into your mouth.
“Chill the fuck out,” you mutter to yourself. No one is around to hear.
The only patrons left are some bikers at one of the back tables playing cards. Their laughter is too loud without the music going. The mats behind the bar are sticky under your boots, and your temple has started to throb. You feel like locking yourself in the office just for the silence.
The air shifts when Joel steps inside.
The hunger you feel is a familiar fire, coals that stoke themselves and never go out. Lust, infatuation as you take in his broad shoulders and grey-streaked hair. You’re strung out and a fuck might help.
But there’s also a weight in your chest at the sight of him, one you haven’t felt in a while. It sits heavy above that smoldering flame in your belly, a bruise you can’t stop yourself from pressing on.
Maybe part of you expected him to stop coming in after you fucked. Regardless of how it made you feel, you’re just some woman who serves him two fingers of liquor when he wants to run away from his life. Just someone who gave him one good night and nothing more.
But this weight – this big, thorny emotion that looks like affection and attachment and something real – you don’t know what to do with it. 
It’s never been this way with a one-night stand. Yeah, you know the weight of him above you, inside you. You know the taste of his sweat on your tongue, the feel of his head between your thighs. That kind of shit usually doesn’t change anything with you, but Joel is…different. 
Careful, that voice inside you says. 
Joel peels off his jacket and tosses it on the otherwise empty bar, pushing up his sleeves to reveal his tanned forearms. The stool creaks under him and his gaze is heated as it travels over you. He doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s looking. 
He shakes his head when you hold up the bottle of whiskey. 
"Water's fine," he says.
You blink. If he’s not here to drink then what is he here for?
He seems like he always does. Relaxed, like the room was made to have him in it. But you look a little closer, now that you figure you can. The deep scar on the bridge of his nose stands out and his cheeks are a little pink. The temperature must have dropped once the sun went down. His jaw isn’t tense so much as set, determined. He rubs his chin with a flat palm as you fill a glass using the soda gun.
“Whatever you want,” you say. 
He looks around the bar. You figure he's taking in the out-of-order signs on the beer pulls, the flickering light pointing to the restroom, maybe even the goddamn ruined pool table. 
You pick up a rag and start to clean to keep your hands busy. 
 “Quiet for a Friday,” he says. "Things goin’ alright?”
You bristle at the implication. It’s been a shitty week, and you don’t need anyone reminding you that you’re probably not cut out for this.
“Fucking peachy,” you snap.
Joel raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t rise to it. "Seems like things are a little tense.”
You swallow a flash of genuine annoyance. 
"All it takes is a roll in the sack and now you're a talker?"
Joel isn't phased. He takes a small sip of his drink, rolls the glass between his hands. Nice hands, you think. Hands that felt so good between your --
"Just makin’ conversation," he says lightly.
You’ve always thought you were hard to read – hell, you’ve been told that many times. One of your flaws, people always say, but it makes it easier to slide in and out of places without too much damage. And yet, Joel, a man who has been in your bed once and sits at your bar when it suits him, sees right through you.
Your shoulders slump.
“I’m just tired,” you tell him.
Joel rubs his beard with one wide palm. He moves his jaw back and forth like he's giving you the chance to shut him down, like he’s chewing on the silence.
"Heard somethin'," he says. "Wondered if it was true. Thought I'd ask." 
"Are you asking?"
He eyes you, takes another sip of his water like it's a tumbler of amber liquid instead. Like anything you pour him is something to be savored.
"Guess so." 
You set the glass down and put your hands on the wood, leaning towards him with your head cocked. 
“Are you keeping tabs on me, Joel Miller?”
“Nah,” he says, eyes flashing before they slide down to your lips. “Ran into Frank in the frozen aisle at the store.”
“And what does that have to do with me?”
The corner of his mouth tugs up. "Known him and Bill a long time." 
That explains why he looks like he belongs here. He's probably been in this room more times than you have. All of the things you don't know about Joel hang in the air between you.
"Does Bill...?" 
Does your buddy know you fucked me in the apartment I rent from him?
Joel shakes his head. "Frank told me Bill was giving the place to one of his employees. Figured it was you."
And that’s that. But it sounds like a compliment.
“Well, it’s me alright,” you sigh, slumping a bit. “And there's a lot of shit to do.”
Joel puts a hand on your forearm. It's a light touch, a quick one, but it sends sparks along your skin. A moth to a flame.
“Ain’t no small thing. Ownin’ a bar. Big deal, if you ask me.”
You roll your eyes but pride swells in your chest. He’s right. It is a big deal. 
And here you are in your bar.
With Joel, who fits into all of this somehow. You just don’t know where yet.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask you,” you say with a smirk.
You want to draw it out of him, make him flirt with you for the answers he seems to want. You want something to sink your teeth into after this week, something to play with.
Something to make you feel in control. And that’s what Joel gave you, last time you saw him. He pushed when you pulled, met your touches and your quips with attitude and hands of his own. You felt alive, you felt present. You felt wanted. And it was fun.
If you’re not careful, you might forget what sex was like without that – his attention, his touch. Your name in his mouth. But now that you’re giving staying here a shot, maybe it’s time to indulge. To reach out and take.
Joel snorts. He leans forward and raps his knuckles on the wood. “Should we toast to it?”
You laugh. “I don’t drink on the job.”
He raises his water glass.
“Alright,” you scoff. “Fine.” 
You pour yourself some water and clink your glasses together. Joel’s eyes never leave yours, not when he takes a long sip, not when he sets the glass down. He keeps looking at you with that heavy, unshakable gaze. 
It’s unnerving, the way he makes you feel. You’re still tired, still annoyed, but there's electricity at the base of your spine, the embers in your belly. You want to talk to him. 
You clench your hands around your glass. You want to touch him, too.
“So,” you say. He’s wearing a henley this time, the buttons at the top undone just enough to give you a glimpse of a peak of chest hair. You swallow and flick your eyes back to his. He’s smirking. 
“So,” Joel echoes. “Why’d you take it? The bar.”
You shrug. “Seemed like a good deal.”
“Bill ain’t in the habit of good deals,” he huffs. “He must like you.”
It’s an effort to squash your smile. “I don’t think Bill likes anyone much.”
“Real asshole, ain’t he?” 
That gets a laugh out of you. “Well, he’s your friend.”
“Not much choice in a small town.”
You hum.
The noisy group from the back stumble their way to the door, waving at you as they file out into the night.
“Those idiots ruined my pool table on Tuesday,” you hiss, though you smile at them.
“Gotta be pretty fuckin’ bad at pool to do that.” He looks around and realizes he’s the last one in the bar. “You closin’?”
“It’s only eleven, Joel.” 
His eyes rake up and down your body. Is he thinking about how he touched you, how you fell apart under him? Heat curls lazily in your belly. He runs his finger around the rim of his glass.
“Damn shame,” he says. 
Normally you wouldn’t shut for a few hours, but it’s pretty dead for a Friday and…
And Joel is looking at you like that and you want to touch him.
You don’t mess around with regulars.
You’re already breaking your rules by taking over Frank’s. What’s one more?
The pulse between your legs agrees with you.
“Colin,” you call over your shoulder, stepping back from Joel’s hot gaze. The barback appears immediately.
“Yeah?”
“I’m shutting early. Go home. Tonight’s tips are yours.”
He sputters. “Are you sure?” His gaze flicks to the stacks of glasses behind the bar, the tables that still need wiping down.
“I’ll take care of it. See you next week.” 
He just shrugs and turns on his heel. A minute later the back door slams and you know the kid is gone.
You lift the bridge and slide out from behind the bar. Your boots are loud on the shitty floors with no one in here and each step to the door feels longer than it should because of his damn stare. You feel Joel’s eyes on you as you lock the door and flick off the neon BAR sign that hangs outside.
When you turn around, his eyes are dark.
Joel stays on his stool, one foot on the ground so that his knees are spread wide, watching you. One hand rests on his thigh, thick fingers tapping to a tune only he hears. His other arm is on the wood of the bar, stretching his shirt across his broad chest. 
When Joel looks at you, sometimes it feels like he’s the first person to ever see you.
“Gotta settle up,” he drawls.
“What, you gonna tip me for water?”
“Not exactly,” he says, words dragging in his mouth. “Got somethin’ else in mind.”
The air in the bar sparks and crackles like one of those long Texas summer days when a thunderstorm looms like a threat. The electricity of it crackles down your spine, turns it molten, turns you dangerous. It’s never felt like this before with someone you’ve slept with. Just being close to him is enough to kick your pulse into gear. You feel hyper aware of every part of your body as he looks at you like you’re offering him something better than what you can pour.
Which, you guess, you are. 
“And what would that be?” 
He hums.
“C’mere.”
You can see his cock straining against the front of his jeans. 
“Bossy,” you say. “That for me?” You jerk your chin towards his lap and take your time walking back to him.
He smirks. “You wanna go upstairs?”
As soon as you step between his knees, the hand on his leg moves to your hip. Two fingers sneak under the waistband of your jeans to find bare skin. You brace yourself with one palm on his thigh, another on his neck, and thread his soft hair through your fingers.
“I don’t see why we have to,” you say slowly, watching him carefully. “No one’s here. And I know the owner. She won’t mind.”
The hand on your hip slides further back and his fingers press hard into the swell of your ass. 
“Oh, that right?” he chuckles. “Well, as long as we ain’t breakin’ any rules.”
You’re not sure who moves first. You’ve got a few inches on him by being on your feet so you pull him towards you just as he surges up and your mouths meet sloppily, hungrily. Joel tugs you closer and you dig your fingers into his thigh as he swallows your giddy laugh, his beard scratching your skin deliciously.
You’re going to fuck him. In your bar. 
“Somethin’ funny?” he asks, lips trailing over your jaw. He’s got both hands on you now, one on your ass and the other on your hip, holding you like he expects you to disappear.
“No, not really–” You cut yourself off with a gasp when he nips your pulse point. “Joel.”
He kisses you again, licking into your mouth. You remember the sounds he made in your apartment and tug on his hair. Joel’s moan is your reward. You press close and grind your hips against the hardness in his jeans and he growls.
“Hard as a rock the second I step in this damn place,” he says, holding you there. You pull back to see his lips spit-slick, his pupils blown. Seeing him undone like this by your touch is just as thrilling as it was last time. His teeth scrape down your neck and he unbuttons your jeans.
“Sounds like a – ah – you problem.”
Joel’s fingers drag through the curls above your cunt before he goes where you really want him. You gasp against his temple when he circles your clit.
“Seems to me I’m not the only one,” he rasps.
The fingertips on his thigh become nails digging in even harder when he slips one finger inside you.
“Gonna leave bruises, sweetheart,” Joel says. Your cunt clenches around him. “You like that? Markin’ me?”
“Maybe I do,” you groan. “You left some last time.”
The angle can’t be ideal but Joel fucks you as best as he can with one finger, then two. You drag his face back to yours and suck on his bottom lip, tugging his hair all the while. Every part of you feels like it’s on fire, like you’re burning up from the inside. 
His other hand rucks up your shirt until you tug it all the way off. He pulls down the cup of your bra with one hand and rolls your nipple between his fingers. 
You could come like this, Joel’s hands everywhere. 
Gripping him through his clothes isn’t enough. You scramble to undo his belt and get your hand in his jeans, button popped and fly down. 
He grunts your name when you spit into your palm and take him in hand, velvety soft and tip leaking. 
“Careful,” he hisses. “Don’t want to stop this before it starts.”
“I’ll be gentle,” you say. He thumbs your clit in response and you gasp.
Time blurs with his fingers inside you. Your strokes are lazy but he hisses each time you drag your thumb over his tip. Is it going to be this, you two pawing at each other against the bar until someone bursts?
“Joel,” you gasp. “Joel, I want –”
He finally returns to your clit with a strained smirk. The veins in his neck are visible, telling you it’s getting to him, too. 
“You remember what I said last time?”
Ask for what you want, you hear me? You ask and I'll do my damn best.
You could have him bend you over the bar. You imagine it, quick and dirty, the wood digging into your waist as he slams into you, flesh on flesh. It would be better than last time, you know it. But you want to see him.
You want Joel’s face in your neck, your hands in his hair as he fills you up. You want to watch him fall apart under you.
You dig your nails into him again and he hisses. You lean forward so your lips drag along the shell of his ear.
“I want to ride you, Joel,” you say. 
His eyes flash. He kisses you hard, swirls your clit one more time, and pulls his hand from your cunt. Your knees feel a little weak so you keep your hands on his shoulders. 
Joel brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean.
“Gotta get at least a taste,” he says. “Just as sweet as I remember.” You surge forward to kiss him. You can taste yourself on his tongue and he groans into your mouth.
“Alright, baby,” he says, breath a little ragged. He thumbs your nipple again. “Where’re you gonna ride me?”
“Booth,” you manage. “Over there.” You jerk your head back towards the cracked vinyl seats he’s never once sat in since you met him. He pats your hips and you step back. The stool scrapes loudly on the floor as he stands. 
He cups your cheek with one callused palm and just looks. His hair is a mess from your hands, lips swollen from your kisses. And yet he’s looking at you like you’re the answer to all his problems. 
“So damn pretty,” he says.
Somehow you make it to the booth, a tangle of lips and hands, shedding pieces of clothing as you go. Your bra, his shirt, his belt. Shoes toed off and left in a pile, Joel shoves the table between the vinyl benches to the other side so there’s enough room for him to sit, for him to drag down his jeans and boxers and take his cock in one hand. 
Your mouth waters at the sight of it. God, he’s thicker than you remember. One of these days you’re going to take him apart with your tongue.
You could just stand there and admire him but you’re so wet you think you’re going to drip onto the floor. His solid thighs, the dark hair gathered into curls at the base of him trailing up to his navel. If you were a painter you’d put him to a canvas.
Joel spreads his legs wide, and you run a hand down his bare chest before balancing on his shoulder as you step out of your bottoms. It’s almost funny – the two of you naked but for your socks, Joel’s pants around his ankles.
You want him too badly to spare a thought for laughter.
A condom comes from somewhere – his wallet, maybe, or his pocket, you don’t much care – and he slides it on with a hiss. 
It’s different than last time. More desperate but in a fun way – and you know this won’t be the last time. You know each other’s bodies, now, and this can be quick, can be dirty, because you’ll be doing it again.
So you don’t waste any time straddling him. Joel lines his cock up with your entrance, his other hand on your hip.
“You ready?” he asks. You lean in to kiss him and sink down at the same time in response.
You moan in tandem as he fills you, the angle different from when you were on your back, so different. The stretch is deeper, and somehow you feel fuller than last time. It’s overwhelming, it’s all-consuming, it’s a little painful.
“Fuck,” Joel groans. “So tight. I ain’t gonna last long.” 
It really is a tight fit, so tight you think maybe he was right to ask if you could take him without at least one orgasm to prepare you. The girth of him is splitting you in half, stretching you so much you whimper against his mouth.
Joel’s hands cup your face. “Y’okay?” he says, strained. “Hey, talk to me.”
Your eyes are shut tight, knees pressing hard into his solid thighs as you breathe.
“Need a sec,” you say. “It’s different like this, it’s –”
“I know, baby,” Joel murmurs. “Doin’ so good so far.” 
He shifts his hold on you just a little and you whine. The vinyl cracks underneath his shifted weight as he whispers an apology into your shoulder.
The pain of the stretch dulls to an ache and you know what’s just on the other side. You roll your hips and the head of his cock presses exactly where you want it. It sends a shock wave of pleasure through you so intense that you fall forward a little, Joel’s face pressed to your chest.
He presses a kiss to your breastbone, so light you almost miss it as you start to ride him in earnest. Your knees press into the rough vinyl and Joel’s lips find your nipple. 
“Didn’t give these ‘nough attention last time,” he says. “My mistake.”
His tongue laves at your breasts, one after the other as you swirl your hips over and over. You tug on his hair as your thighs start to burn but you keep going. 
Joel’s teeth scrape against your nipples, the skin of your chest as he nips and soothes, nips and soothes. You’re going to be covered in marks tomorrow. 
Maybe it’s the thrill of that, of just seeing him again, maybe it’s how bad you want him, who fucking knows – you’re already so close.
Everything fades away but this. Joel is everywhere, on you, around you, inside you…It’s just the two of you, limbs tangled and sweaty, panting each other’s name.
The smoldering in your belly is a fire climbing higher and higher and you’re going to explode with the heat of it.
Firm, rough-skinned hands hold you steady as you lift and sink, gasping every time he hits that spot inside you. 
“Joel, I –”
His grip turns bruising as he starts to fuck you on his own, the wet smack of his balls filling the bar.
“I know, baby,” he pants. “I know. You hear that? You hear me fuckin’ you? You’re takin’ my cock so good.”
You plant your hands on his shoulders and try to meet his thrusts.
“Swear I dreamed ‘bout this,” he growls. “How wet you were. Those fuckin’ noises you make when I –” He circles your clit with his thumb and you keen. “There we go. Just like that.”
“Joel –
“Gonna ruin this booth,” he says with a rough chuckle. His forehead is tacky when you press yours against it.
“I – fuck – need new ones anyway, don’t I?” 
Joel grins, all teeth as he pounds into you. 
“C’mon, sweetheart,” he says, breath hot on your lips. “Soak my cock. Know you can, so tight and –”
Your orgasm rips through you, a broken litany of Joel and yes and god knows what else torn from your throat as he fucks you through it. His thrusts become erratic and you try to keep your seat as he finishes with a deep groan. 
Joel presses more of those light kisses to your collarbones, the base of your throat, so like the one he left on the back of your hand that first night. You drag your fingers through his slightly sweaty hair.
“I’ll move in a second,” you say, catching your breath. 
“Take your time,” he says. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” 
His grip on you is practically gentle, fingers lazily stroking patterns into your skin. You drag a hand up and down his chest. 
It’s tender. It’s…something it maybe shouldn’t be. Something that doesn’t belong in whatever you’re doing. 
You get out of his lap as carefully as you can and stand in front of him, naked. Fucking with a condom is smart and all, but you wonder what it would feel like to have him dripping between your thighs.
He doesn’t hide his stare, though it’s not as charged as before. He’s looking just to look.
“Put your pants on,” you grumble at him. He laughs. 
You scoop your clothes off the floor and head for the bathroom. The tarnished mirror displays your sated smile and bright eyes. You run a hand over the bruises he left on your neck, your hips. Well-fucked is a good look on you. You look exhausted but happy.
Joel is dressed and back at the tabletop when you return. He’s got his usual bottle of whiskey on the wood, two glasses already sporting a pour each. 
“Not workin’ anymore, are you?” he asks you. 
You laugh. “No.”
The soreness starts to settle into your thighs when you take the stool next to him.
The momentary silence isn’t uncomfortable. It is comfortable, which is the strange part. Sitting here with him at your bar after he fucked you a few feet away and sipping at your drinks. 
Joel, for his part, seems unbothered. You can’t figure him out. It makes you feel a little unsteady to know that he sees right through you, but you don’t know what he’s thinking. Would he tell you if you asked?
“So,” he says. “What’re your plans for the place?”
You sigh. A piece of his hair is sticking up and you tuck your hand between your thighs so you don’t smooth it. It’s different with your clothes on.
“There’s a lot to do,” you tell him. “Jukebox is broken. Neon signs need replacing. Plumbing could do with a refresh. I want to refinish the floors, maybe tear off this ugly wallpaper –”
“Make sure you get a good gel for that,” he says. “Shit’s old and won’t come off easy.”
You lean your chin in your hand and shoot him an amused look. 
“Do a lot of wallpaper removal in your spare time?” you ask.
He fiddles with his watch, jaw working around whatever it is he wants to say. 
“I’m a contractor.” 
“Really?”
“Don’t sound so surprised,” he grumbles. “You think I sit on my ass all day?”
Honestly, you don’t know. Most of the thoughts you have about Joel aren’t to do with his job. You have no idea what he does when he isn’t here.
You shrug. Joel rolls his eyes.
“Well, I am,” he drawls. He takes a long sip of his whiskey. “And I know the folks around here who you’ll need. Materials, all that.” 
“Are you offering to help me, Joel?” You keep your voice neutral.
He looks at you head-on. It feels like he’s seeing through you again. “If you want it.”
“If we do that, it has nothing to do with…” You gesture between you. “With this.”
Joel just looks at you, letting you sort out what you want to say. 
“I mean, I don’t want charity, okay?”
He shakes his head. “Ain’t charity. I owe Bill some favors. This’ll square us up. You’ll cover all the other shit, I guess.”
“It’s not his bar, anymore,” you remind him, but it’s a weak protest. 
Joel knocks back the rest of his drink.
You’ve been working out how to finance the renovations all week. All that cash you’ve squirreled away over the years finally has a purpose, other than a cushion in case something really bad happens. It’s looking tight between paying the staff and sourcing the work. You’d only be able to close a week at a time and any delays will fuck the whole thing. 
But if Joel’s offering discounted labor, materials on the cheap? You could get it all done faster, get it done right.
“Why do you want to help me?” you ask. 
Joel huffs and if you knew him better you’d say it was in offense. 
“Let’s just say I’m invested in the state of this place,” he says. “And you really gotta replace those booths.”
Your face feels hot. “Asshole.”
“So,” he says. “You interested?”
It’s not a bad idea. Hell, it might even be a good one. Money aside, Joel, whatever his story is, is connected in this town, and if you’re staying it would do you some good to start making some connections of your own. Start settling.
The fist in your chest, your heart, your mind – it loosens just a little bit. 
“I’m interested.”
Joel knocks on the bar once, twice, and stands. He digs in his back pocket for his wallet and hands you a business card with his phone number. 
“I’ll be here Monday morning,” he says. “We can start goin’ over stuff, figure out when you wanna close. All that. Call me anytime. Sound good?”
You just nod. The fatigue is starting to hit and Joel must be able to tell because he just smiles at you.
“Goodnight, boss lady,” he says. “Put the whiskey on my tab.”
Joel grabs his jacket and unlocks the door, sliding into the cool night with a wave. 
“You don’t have a tab, asshole,” you mutter, but you’re smiling a little. 
It feels like pieces are falling into place.
You know you could get the bar fixed up on your own. But with Joel’s help, it’ll get done faster and you might even have some money left over at the end of it. 
It’s a lot all at once. But for some reason, it feels different this time. It’s not another job about to fall through, not another relationship going south because you got spooked. It’s not you getting bored and cutting your losses. 
You want this. You want it to work. Usually, you’d have left by now, before you got too attached, but it’s too late so you’re going to make it work. 
This thing with Joel, though – you’re going to have to be careful. If you’re not, it’ll run away from you and – well. You don’t want to lose control of it.
You look around the bar and sigh. Unwiped tables, a booth that no one should sit in, floors to clean. A few hours of work before bed. 
You know you’re going to spend them trying not to think about the man who just left. 
thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback!
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sturnsreader · 5 months
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scars
TW: self harm
!! requested by @sturns-posts !!
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౨ৎ ⋆。˚
“y/n?” you heard your boyfriend, matt, call from upstairs. you sighed and made your way up stairs to find matt on his laptop. you walked around the corner and smiled walking up to him.
“yes matty?” you asked cheerfully.
“are you okay?” he asked sounding concerned.
“yeah, why?” you asked confused at by the sudden worry.
“well, im just worried about you.” he sighed. you noticed that he kept looking back down to his computer screen to making glances at your arms.
“you would tell me if you weren't, right?” he asked.
you gulped wondering what he knew.
“yes, baby, please dont worry about it.” you nodded quickly before turning back to go downstairs.
he grabbed your waist and pulled you back into his arms playing with your hair.
“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again repeating himself. you nodded into his chest before he pulled you back leading you into his room. he didn’t say a word, just sat you on his bed and opened up the screen. on the left hand side of the screen was a recent picture of you in mcdonalds that a camera man had taken, on the right hand side was the same photo just zoomed into your wrist. your scars visible for the world to see. you read the headline over and over in your head sighing.
'HAS TWITTER TROLLS PUSHED MATTHEW STURNIOLO’S GIRLFRIEND OVER THE EDGE?'
“what is this? you told me you stopped a while ago and if you felt like that you were going to tell me. did i do something wrong?” he asked pointing to your wrist on the screen with teary eyes. you couldn't speak, your whole throat had closed up.
he noticed and pulled you onto his lap staring into your stinging eyes.
“i love you so much and i want nothing but for you to be the happiest girl ever. i let anyone hurt you. whether they're old or new, i don't care because i'm here for you now and i always will be." he smiled before kissing your forehead softly. a tear escaped your eye making you smile.
“we don't have to talk about this now, whenever you're ready.” he smiled resting your head onto his chest as he wiped the tears off.
| 2 hours later |
“hey, i know you wanted to go to the cabin back in massachusetts, so were going with nick and chris tomorrow morning!” he said with a smile while tucking your hair behind your ear.
“baby, you didn’t have to”
“shh, i wanted to.” he said as he hugged you around the waist.
you waited at least 10 seconds before letting go. matt’s hugs were the most comforting thing ever. “can you help me pack, please.”
matt shook his head up and down with a big smirk while grabbing your hand and walking downstairs to the bedroom.
“oh, how long are we staying.”
“since were with nick and chris we are staying for a week and a half, but soon we can go alone.”
he was digging through the closet trying to find a bag big enough before you made him stop.
“i love you so much.”
“i love you more, my love” you could tell he meant it. “we are going down to nick and chris’s house tomorrow morning at 4 am. i know its early but i want to get there earlier, if its okay with you.” he said right after he found a perfect suitcase to fit all your stuff.
| two days later |
“hey babe i was scrolling through things to do here and there is a tattoo parlor like five minutes away from us can we PLEASE get tattoos together!” nick said excitedly.
“shut up you have been rambling about tattoos the whole time we-“ chris said as you cut him off.
“nick i would LOVE to get a tattoo with you and i know exactly what i want. follow me!” you said as you go to find matt in the store.
“im getting a tattoo with nick and i just want you to draw stars around my scars.” you say while going through your purse to find a pen.
matt looks at you in awe as he takes the marker and draws the cutest stars ever. you start to tear up. you look up at him as he concentrates on drawing them all.
౨ৎ ⋆。˚
not my best work but i tried 🥲🥲
i hope you enjoyed and if you have anything you need to talk about message me! i love you guys sm🩷.
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storiesfromafan · 1 year
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Antisocial Bookworm
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A/N: I haven't written anything in like 3-4 years, but then I ended up down the Mattheo Riddle rabbit hole on TikTok. And here I am lol. Please be kind, as I haven’t written about him before, this is my first go at it.
Part 2 😊
Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader
Summary: you didn’t think of yourself of a main character, but rather a background character. Though the Slytherin heart throb thought otherwise.
                                  Antisocial Bookworm
The afternoon was on the sunny side, but there was a cool breeze that had students wearing jumpers and cardigans. You were no different. You were sitting under a tree in the courtyard, legs stretched out in front with ankles crossed, and engrossed in a book. The students around you made noise that you barely took note of, for the book in your hand being far too interesting then the real world. You didn’t really have any friends, nor did you socialize. Books were better company than people.
But hearing the voice of the one and only Mattheo Riddle, you took your gaze from the book before you and looked at Slytherin heart throb that was joking around with his friends. Watching the smile upon his face as he laughed at whatever one of them had said, seeing the brightness in his deep brown eyes. Not to mention how the breeze tousled his curly brown locks. Mattheo was so appealing to the eye that he could easily be the physical form of a character from a book.
You sighed. Like you had a chance with Mattheo. You weren’t in any way like a main girl from a book. You didn't think you were that bad looking, but you weren’t no great beauty. You would say you are average. You chose clothing that was comfortable over fashionable. Your hair was tied up out of your way, though bangs framed your eyes. You were more aimed as a background character then the main female of any book you read.
Turning your gaze from the no chance in hell of a male before you, you went back to your book and enjoyed the afternoon of peace. Book’s may take you on a rollercoaster of emotions; but they would never let you down, never hurt you. They were safe, they were comfort to an antisocial body like you.
If you believed you couldn't be the main girl from any of the books you read, Mattheo thought the opposite. To him you were the central character. You may not have noticed but the Slytherin male noticed you and how you were always reading. Studying you he knew when you had reached a rather fascinating part of a book, for you would draw the book closer to your face, eyes moving slightly faster than normal taking in the words from the pages. Or when you had reached a more romantic moment, for you would have a soft smile upon your face while playing with the necklace around your neck. Or when you came to a sad moment, you would frown and look like you were ready to put the book down, but force yourself to read on.
Compared to the other girls that flirted, threw themselves at him or he could tell they were interested in him, you were a breath of fresh air. Mattheo knew you chose to keep your distance from people. He knew you didn't really have friends, but rather acquaintances. And it wasn’t a bad thing. Sometimes having to put time and effort into relationships was tiresome, and he had thought about taking a page from your book - no pun intended - sometimes.
Soon time passed and students began to head back inside and to their common rooms or dorm rooms, to discard their bags and get ready for dinner in the Great Hall. You finally stopped after a rather thrilling chapter, putting in your bookmark you put the book in your bag before getting up off the ground. After a quick stretch, you slung the strap of your messenger bag over your shoulder and headed back into the castle. The whole time not realizing the deep brown eyes that followed your every more. Or when the owner of the gaze followed you inside, his friends in tow.
There had been a few times Mattheo had had a chance to talk to you, but his nerves would always get the best of him and he would chicken out. Which was very unlike him. Everyone had this image about him. Confident, a little cocky, smartass, chaotic and a tad mysterious. But he honestly was far from most of those words. For the guy couldnt work up the courage to actually talk to you!
Eventually he lost sight of you when Draco Malfoy had called him over. Reluctantly Mattheo stopped and turned from you, though it was very hard to. The fellow Slytherin had informed him that the party in their common room was going ahead. The finer details had been sorted out, and Mattheo was advised to spread the word to anyone from the other houses. Part of Mattheo hoped you would show up to the party, but he wouldn’t hold his breath. For you hadn’t shown up to any recent parties, or really any of the parties thrown.
                                                          ~~~
Later that night in the Slytherin common room, the planned party was in full swing. Student’s were dancing to the loud music, and smuggled alcohol was being consumed. All in all it looked to be talked about for weeks to come. Everyone knew every house threw parties to try and outdo the other houses. And no one was complaining.
Mattheo was standing around with his friends, drink in hand while listening to a story he’d heard Merlin know’s how many times. But get alcohol in anyone’s system and they will say just about anything, all depending on their level of intoxication. He scanned the room, noting all the girls that were eyeing him off and smiling when his gaze rolled over them. But none of them were his little antisocial bookworm.
Though unbeknownst to Mattheo; you had been dragged to the party by none other than Pansy Parkinson. You may not call her a friend, but to her you were. As you were the only brutally honest girl in your year. And Pansy respected you for it. So she had pushed you to come to the party, attempted to get you out of your shell and try to make human contact and conversation. Besides being in a classroom and maybe the brief pass in a hall or meal breaks in the Great Hall, Pansy barely heard you speak. Many thought you were mute because of your lack of speaking.
“Pansy, really I was fine staying in my dorm” you said as the mentioned female held your arm and led you through the dancing bodies. “And did you really have to pick my clothes and do my hair!?”
Ah yes she had to give you a small makeover. Pansy not only wanted to do something nice for you, she also wanted to entice one Mattheo Riddle. Pansy may come off a tad vapid and self centered, but she could see the looks both you and Mattheo gave each other. So she thought a small push might be good for you both.
“You need to socialize. Books are good, but they can’t be everything Y/N/N” Pansy said, giving you a pointed look. “And it's a party, you need to wear something a little more out there”. You rolled your eyes at Pansy’s words.
You looked down at the long sleeved, slightly low cut v-neck top Pansy had picked, and matched with a simple corduroy mini skirt that had buttons down the front. Both clothing items paired with black ankle boots. It was more fashion forward then you are used to. But you decided to humor Pansy, throw her a bone. And with your hair out, cute pins holding the hair back from your face, you felt somewhat like the main girl from your books. Though you could laugh at that notion. You weren’t meant to be the lead.
“Hello boy’s” Pansy said after you both made it through the dancing students, and over to the Slytherin boy’s she hung out with.
Deep brown orbs looked up, shock shining in his eyes upon seeing the creature at Pansy’s side. Mattheo blinked a few times, making sure it wasn't the alcohol that had him seeing you before him. And dressed in something that wasn’t the school’s uniform or lackluster clothing he had seen you in around the castle or at Hogsmeade.
Then his deep brown eyes were met with soft Y/E/C eyes, and his breath hitched before taking it away completely. Never had your eyes met this close before. Sure across the hall or class room. But here you were standing before him, allowing him to see how crystal clear your eyes are. Let’s not forget that the reaction’s Mattheo was having was exactly the same as yourself. You had run over this kind of scenario in your mind, a small moment of fantasy to get you through the afternoon or night. But you had never thought it would ever happen, till this moment.
“Y/L/N? I almost didn't recognize you!” Draco said with a surprised laugh. Which made you shrink into yourself, that self conscious feeling creeping up.
“Oh Draco, be nice” Pansy said, wrapping her arm around you, making you stiffen up from the contact. “Y/N/N is a friend. Play nice”.
‘Friend…how foreign’ you thought, observing Draco and Pansy as they continue to converse.
Mattheo was doing his best to sit back at Draco’s comments. He might have been his friend, but the guy had no ability to read a room or a person. Right from you arriving at the group he could see how uncomfortable you were, how you moved from foot to foot with uncertainty that you should be there. How fish out of water you were.
The group continued to talk, Mattheo speaking only when spoken too. You not talking, keeping to yourself like always. You had moved to sit on the armrest of the couch, once Blaise Zabini said you could and he didn’t bite. Pansy saw the pointed glare Mattheo had given the male for that comment, and she couldn't help the smirk that crept on her face.
“Y/L/N, this is the first party you've come to this year, right?” Draco asked, and you nodded. “I’m surprised you’ve stayed in your room so much. But with your head in a book, it happens”. He laughed.
Mattheo’s fist clenched. He did not like anyone making fun of his bookworm. Downing the last of his drink, Mattheo did his best to keep down what he’d like to say to his friend. He rose from his seat, he decided to get you away from this situation, fueled by the alcohol in his system giving him the courage to do so.
“Y/N” he said, a strange but exciting word leaving his tongue, getting your attention. “Why don’t we get some drinks?” Mattheo asked, holding up his empty cup and silently saying let’s take a break from them.
“Okay…” you finally spoke, not hesitating to get up from the armrest, and moving to follow Mattheo. All the while Pansy watched on, the smile on her face growing with every passing moment.
You both moved over to a corner where the drink’s were situated. Putting down his own cup, Mattheo grabbed a clean cup for you, and proceeded to pour you both a drink. You stood beside him. Not sure what to do or say, just moving from foot to foot. Handing you a cup, Mattheo clinked your cups together before taking a sip from is, not once taking his eyes off you. You followed his lead and took a large gulp of the liquid, hoping it would help with your nerves from the fine specimen before you.
“Don’t listen to Draco” Mattheo started after swallowing his sip. “The guy doesn’t understand how to read a room. He’s full of himself” he finished with a small smile.
You felt your heart skip a beat at Mattheo's small smile, brown eyes focused on you and messy brown curls that were begging to have a hand run through, ever so enticing. The temptation to pinch yourself to make sure this was real, was strong but went against it. If this was a dream you didn't want to wake up. So far tonight was female lead level, not background character. Has the world finally gone mad? This didn’t seem plausible. But here you were. At a Slytherin party. Dressed like a cool kid, drinking and standing before the leading male character. Yeah, if this was a dream you didn't want to wake up.
“It’s hard to not listen to him,” you said looking at your drink. “I’m not exactly known for my social skills” you looked back at Mattheo with a small smile, that did a number on him.
He nodded, “still...don’t take it to heart”. It was your turn to nod your head. “Is your drink alright?”
You looked down at the cup of liquor before back up to the brunet before you. “Yeah, it's fine. Thanks”.
With drink in hand, you both reluctantly went back to Pansy, Draco and Blaise. Upon your arrival, you took to sitting on the couch next to Pansy, as Blaise had moved to sit next to Draco and converse. Mattheo took to sitting on the armrest next to you. You all sat there, conversation being made by the Slytherin friends. You sat there and observed them, being so close to people you had observed from afar was strange. Going from the onlooker, to the insider was new.
After a few more drinks, consumed by you and Pansy, said girl dragged you to dance. You had tried to dig your heels in and protest, but she didn't take no for an answer. You moved with the uncertainty and grace of a baby animal learning to walk. A total train wreck. But Mattheo thought it added to your quirky, cuteness. He watched as you slowly loosen up, and soon moved more freely, feeling the music. The liquor in your system was finally taking effect. You felt like you were floating as you moved around with Pansy, a small smile on your lips and an occasional laugh escaping your mouth.
Once you and Pansy started to get out of breath and tired, both made it back over to the boys. By now their group had gained three other people; two Ravenclaw girls and one Hufflepuff boy. You perched yourself on an armrest catching your breath and fanning yourself. All the while Mattheo never taking his eyes off you, unless entirely necessary.
“How about we play a party game” Pansy said, suddenly looking around the group. “Has anyone ever played suck and blow?”
A few answered they had, Mattheo being one of them. You on the other hand had not, nor any idea of what the game was. Thankfully both Ravenclaw girl’s didn't know what the game was either. So Pansy explained the game. Using a playing card, you had to pass the card around to another player only using your mouth, hence suck and blow. The goal is to make it around the circle without dropping the card; if it's one person or two that drops the card, they need to take a drink from their cup before trying again.
“Everyone understand?” Pansy asked, getting a playing card. Everyone nodded their heads. “Wonderful! Now let's move to sit in a circle.
You all moved to a decent space away from the dance floor. Pansy took charge and made sure it went boy, girl, boy, girl, etc. And making sure to put you and Mattheo next to each other, and sadly one of the Ravenclaw girls on his other side. When everyone was sitting, cups in front and ready to go. Pansy started it off going right, placing the card to her lips she sucked to hold the card in place before getting close to Draco to hand the card off to his mouth. As he came in and sucked, Pansy blew just enough so the card was passed off perfectly. Draco turned and handed off to the other Ravenclaw girl, who then passed off to Blaise. From there he passed onto the next Ravenclaw girl, she just managed to save the card from dropping, making everyone watch with bated breath. She passed the card onto Mattheo, who took it with ease. Then he turned to you, eyes looking directly into yours. He moved close and brought his card covered lips to yours. Thankfully you managed to somehow function and take the card from him. Though his scent, cigarettes and cologne hit you, dulling your sensors for a moment.
The first round would have been successful if the Hufflepuff guy, after getting the card from you, had been able to off load to Pansy. But their timing at pass over faltered, the card falling from them. And they both had to drink from their cups, all the while everyone else laughed. Draco commented she was lucky he didn't kiss her. Which sent your and Mattheo’s minds into thought. That could have been them. How close they would be to kissing. Mattheo had wished he had been tempted and dropped the card, his lips coming in contact with your own. He had always wondered what it would be like, what your lips felt like. He knew he had to do it, the liquor encouraging him to do so.
Draco started this time, passing the card onto Pansy, who then passed it to the Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuff guy looked to be struggling, and Mattheo prayed his pass to you either was successful or it dropped and no lips touching. They were his lips, and only he would get your kiss. The hand off failed and the card fell, thankfully no lip colliding. Both you and the Hufflepuff guy took a drink. But when he tried again, he failed again and had no lip touch. Another drink from the alcohol before you both. Your head was starting to swim, you weren’t sure if you liked it or not. This time the hand off was successful, the group cheering with a laugh. Now you had to pass it to Mattheo. Your heart skipped a beat when his eyes met yours, the pointed gaze he gave you, it sent a shiver down your spine.
You moved in towards Mattheo, just as he moved towards you. You moved your arm, hand on the ground to brace yourself, and it brushed his leg just as you both came in close to pass the card to the other. Feeling your arm brush his leg caused Mattheo to lose his breath. The playing card falling from between you both, as you had just blown the card. Mattheo’s lips came into contact with your lips. Realization flashed across your eyes, that continued to look into the brown pools of Mattheo's. He noted your lips were soft, fitting perfectly with his own. Hearing the laughter and whistles from those around you, you pulled away from Mattheo, saying sorry and avoiding his gaze. He never took his eyes off you, more interested in watching you then playing the game or those around you both.
Pansy was grinning like the cat that got the cream. But then told you both to drink up, which you did, and then had to try again. This time you managed to hand off the card, making sure to avoid Mattheo’s gaze. Afraid that you’d falter and the card would fall, but would you both kiss again? You shook the thought from your head. The thought of kissing him made your stomach flutter with butterflies. Yes, you had fantasized kissing Mattheo. You never thought you would get too. But you did. Truly an experience that no imagination could get right.
After that round a few more people came over wanting to join the game so you opted out, a Gryfindor girl taking your place. You headed over to the drinks table and made yourself another drink, slightly on the stronger side. After kissing Mattheo you needed the drink. You drank your drink watching the group you had just been a part of. You watched Mattheo. He was laughing and enjoying himself. You watched as the Ravenclaw passed him the playing card, she was so close you know she'd gladly get in his lap. Then he turned, now passing the card to the Gryffindor girl, who you saw place her hand on his knee.
Reality washed over you in a harsh wave as you watched those before you. They were laughing, drinking and having fun. The dancing bodies across the room, lost in the music. It was all another life, part of the social scene. One which you knew you didn't fit into. The role of the observer, the outcast screaming in your mind. Part of you telling you that you didn't belong, that Pansy, Mattheo and their friends were humoring you, maybe you were some sick joke for their amusement.
Your breathing began to pick up with the thoughts running through your mind. Maybe you were a joke, a social experiment. Slytherins were known to be cruel. But a small part of you didnt believe Pansy would do that. You both had a mutual respect for the other after one time being in the girls bathroom after Potions class. Two Gyrffindor girls were making fun of Pansy. Unfortunately neither realized that said girl was in the stall next to you. Pansy casually opened the door while one of the girls was mid insult, upon seeing the Slytherin girl all words were lost and silence followed. Next there was the turn of a tap and running water, you gathered Pansy was washing her hands. As she dried her hands, that's when the Slytherin bared her fangs before striking, Pany's retort to what the gossiping girls was the brutalest you had ever heard. Without a word both Gyrffindor's hightailed it out the bathroom. You heard her sigh in frustration. And that was the moment you bumped the cubicle door.
"Who's there!? Come out!" She said in anger.
You exited the stall with hands up, showing no ill intention. Upon seeing you Pansy relaxed, leaning back against the sink. You slowly moved to the sink next to her, when you were sure she wasn't going to verbally abuse you, and washed your hands.
"I know everyone talks about me" Pansy said offhandedly. "I shouldn't play into their hands. But sometimes you have to stand up for yourself".
You nodded your head drying your hands. "I understand. If people are going to paint you as a villain, you might as well give them what they want" and with that you left the bathroom and Pansy.
You downed what was left in your cup before placing it on the table, that was it for the night. It was time to leave, time to take yourself back to your dorm room, where you could finally feel safe and secure. Time to discard the clothing that you wore and put on that that was familiar, trustworthy. You could take refuge in your bed, wrap yourself up in your blankets where no one would judge you, mock you. It was time to crawl back into the background, hide from the main stage and go back to being nothing more.
Mattheo had been playing the tedious game, making his friends happy. But he had been keeping an eye on you. Watching and gauging your every movement. He wondered what was going through your mind. Were you thinking about him, the kiss? Because he had been. It was just about consuming him. And fueled by alcohol he wanted to kiss you again, feeling the courage to do it. When both Ravenclaw and Gryfindor girls had got bold during that round of suck and blow, Mattheo decided to step away from the game, saying he was getting a drink.
Looking back to the drink table and you once he was up on his feet, Mattheo was confused when you werent there any more. He looked around, surely you couldn't have gone far. He spotted your back as you made your way towards the dancing students. Without another thought he went after you. He needed to check on you, make sure you were okay. Coming to a hallway he saw you slowly making your way from the common room.
"Y/N" Matheo called out to you. You stopped upon hearing your name but never turned to face him. "You okay?" He asked, walking closer to you.
You took a deep breath, trying to get your head to focus and form words. You were shocked someone had come after you, but you were in disbelief it was Mattheo. Said male came to your side, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Ah...yeah!" You said a little flustered. "Just heading to my room...all partied out…"
Mattheo nodded his head, though he didn't fully buy your answer. But he did not push it. He was grateful for this moment, for tonight. And wasn't going to ruin it in any way. Mattheo moved to lean against the wall of the hall, his eyes never leaving you. Maybe he was afraid if he looked away you'd be gone.
"You look good" Mattheo suddenly said, eyes roaming over you. "Not that you don't look good everyday! It's just nice to see you in something different!" He'd kick himself if he could. Tripping over his words.
You could feel the blush on your face from his words. Hearing what he had to say made your stomach flip. "Thank you…" you said softly.
Mattheo smiled at your words. "Did you have a good time tonight? Hopefully the party wasn't too boring" he laughed softly rubbing the back of his neck.
You looked up at Mattheo, your eyes meeting yet again. "It wasn't bad…" you started, pausing to think over your next choice of words. "It wasn't bad...just not something I'm used to. After all; I'm the recluse, antisocial bookworm haha".
He nodded. "I get it. But I'm glad you came" he said with a soft smile.
Those butterflies coming back in full force. Pushing off the wall, liquid courage taking over, Mattheo moved to stand before you. He pushed back your hair so it fell over your shoulder and down you back, his finger moving softly along your shoulder, softly caressing the small chain around your neck and finger tips running over the pendant of your necklace.
"I hope you'll come to the next party" he said breathlessly, his brown orbs drowning in your own. "Maybe you could even come to The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer with us?" Neither of you were sure if he meant just the two of you or with him and his friends. But there was no clearing that up on his part.
"Sounds...good" you replied with a shaking breath.
Flashing you a bright smile Mattheo reluctantly dropped his hand and stepped back from you, allowing you both a chance to breathe. "I will say good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow. That I shall say good night till it be morrow", and finished with a slightly dramatic bow.
At first you were stunned. Letting his words and actions compute in your brain. Once it registered you blushed and laughed softly at his ode to a classic play that you read often.
"Goodnight Mattheo…" you said softly before turning from the Slytherin before you, and finally heading back to your room for the night.
                                                             ~~~
A/N: I’m open to constructive criticism haha. I’m thinking of doing a follow up one-shot, let me know what you think.
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abibliophobiaa · 2 months
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Velvet
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my skin in your teeth
summary: you’re meant to eliminate creatures from the upside down, but something — or someone — has got a hold on you lately…
warnings: 18+, blood drinking, biting, allusions to sex, smut, maybe a bit of obsessiveness, and hint of implied soulmates. to be honest, i don’t really know what this is. just wanted to write something. also thanks @myosotisa and @blueywrites for the additional vampire inspiration. 🤍
vampire!eddie munson x f!monster hunter!reader
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Chance and Andy cackle ahead of you, their feet rustling the leaves littering the grass, guns at the ready. Normally you’re on duty with Steve, Nancy and Robin, but the powers at be today have decided to put you together with the biggest assholes of the bunch. Cocky, rude, still bullies despite everything — and yet, some of the best shots in the Upside Down Elimination Team. You suppose there’s some comfort in that. Should things go awry.
Your one goal on today’s mission? Make sure the perimeter of area four is safe. Fortunately for you, it’s been a quiet night. For the guys? They’re not having fun with it. For two trigger happy individuals, an eerily quiet night is an oddity. During your last overnight shift, you, Nancy, Robin, and Steve had managed to take down at least fifty demobats that had come through the gate, along with a fully mature group of demodogs.
The hours tick by. Nothing out of the usual to see. A flicker of movement from a solitary demobat with an injured bat here, rustle of leaves there. But nothing major to note when you return to base once the sun rises and your shift ends.
That is, nothing until three in the morning arrives and you catch the familiar whistle. The crack of a twig in the distance. The rustle of leaves as they draw nearer. A pack of demodogs rush through trees, but the familiar glint of predatory canines draws your attention.
You draw your dagger and throw. The metal slams into the trunk with a loud thud and you shout over your shoulder, “You go on ahead, I’ll take care of this!”
The guys run along, practically bouncing in their steps at the mere prospect of taking down a pack of demodogs on their own. Giddy with it. But your mind? Your mind is drawn to the darkened silhouette in the woods, the one that, given the chance, Andy and Chance would rip apart bit by bit.
And you can’t allow that, because Eddie Munson is yours.
——
It was forbidden; fraternizing with the Upside Down.
Even more so slipping away in the middle of the night to entertain a dalliance with a creature harbored and hemmed in the place where the world had ripped into quadrants.
No one understood how it happened. You’d all seen him die. Had seen what happened when a man was ripped apart by those winged hellions. And yet he’d appeared one night, trembling and starved. A hunger that you’d managed to quench, despite Steve shouting at you otherwise, by slicing your own palm and offering it to your friend.
The friend who peered out from those darkened eyes, lines of deep hunger like spiderwebs crawling from beneath his lashes. You whispered that it was okay, that you wanted this when he stared up at you with worried eyes.
Don’t want to hurt you, he said, sounding so much younger than his now twenty-one years of age. Or twenty? None of you understood this magic. He died at twenty, heart stopped at twenty — but months had trickled by, his birthday passed, and it only felt right to honor it all the same.
Shaking hands had curled around the back of your palm, his lips sliding over wet, injured skin, dripping scarlet rubies onto the forest floor below. Steve whirled around, choked out a horrified breath as Eddie drew in your blood, drew in your essence.
Loud, hungry gulps met your ears, making Steve retch. But you leaned in closer, curled your fingers around his bicep, clinging to him as you slipped away in your mind.
Into that heady, rich, velvety, lush ether.
“Eddie,” Robin warned, as your eyelids drooped, body slumping further into his frame, “Eddie, I think she’s done. Let go of her.”
He fell back, ragged breaths pulling from lungs. And he sounded so familiar, you nearly weeped at it. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, sweetheart —”
Those eyes shifted, changed back into the ones you knew before all of…this. Less haunted, more him, and despite the world tilting on its axis as you fell back into Steve’s arms unconscious, it seemed worth it.
You carried on with it in secret. Your friends decided it was better if, until things got better around Hawkins, Eddie remained nothing more than a shadow in the night. They’d find a way to make things right, but in the meantime…you learned how to keep things secret. How to slip away beyond the outer lines of Hawkins — to find ways to sneak off during patrols. Often, Steve would turn a blind eye. Nancy would wave you onward. Robin would give you a little eye roll and tell you to run along.
It started with conversations in the night. Things you never talked about when you’d known one another prior. And yet — since the day he’d drank your blood, you felt a connection to him in a way you hadn’t before. You would sit side by side, laughing and reminiscing. Dreaming, on nights where the world was quiet and it felt like you were the only two people who existed.
Those meetings changed as the seasons did. His gazes lingered longer. Your hands wandered. His lips glided over yours. Your fingers threaded in his hair. He fisted the back of your thigh and dragged you into his lap, whispered he wanted you against your throat.
That first time had been quick and needy. A frantic thing, with buttons flying, his shirt nearly shredded at the hem to get it off faster. He rolled you over onto your back and pinned you there against the dirt, the ground biting into your flesh, reminding you that you were alive despite it all. And you kissed him, panting into his mouth as his hips rolled furiously against your own, your fingers clutching at blades of grass, nearly ripping them up from the root as your orgasm stole your breath.
It kept on like that for months. Secret meetings, whispered words. His teeth in your skin, your bodies entwined, heart to heart, chasing whatever this thing was between you.
He was euphoria and light in a world filled with darkness, and you were addicted, and nothing would rip him away again.
——
The sounds of the guy’s hoots and hollers of enjoyment over their hunt grows quieter as you approach Eddie. He’s leaning against a tree, the dagger embedded near his shoulder, those dark eyes of his crinkling at the corners as you draw nearer to him. Lips curl back over elongated canines, and you note the swirling lines beneath his lashes, deciding you’ll have to do something about that later when you have more time and there’s no threat of the jackass twins coming back and throwing a wrench into things.
“Sorry I tried to kill you,” you tease, falling into his chest as broad palms slide around your hips to tug you close, “needed to make it look believable.”
“It’s fine, but next time you should try harder.” He draws a sigh from deep within your chest as he leans in to claim your mouth. It’s a quick kiss, doesn’t linger long, his head pulling back to look at you in amusement. Mouth curling into a grin, hair in disarray, dark eyes gleeful in the night. “Didn’t know you could throw a dagger like that.”
“You liked that, huh? Been working on that for months now.”
Your smirk grows as he flips you around, your back hitting the trunk of the tree. He grunts out as you coast a palm along the front of his jeans, grinning ruefully at the way his erection strains against the fabric.
“You did.” A satisfied smile creeps up along your features, heart skipping as he grips the dagger hilt near your head and tugs it free from the bark. The metal glints, the sharpened edge twirling as he toys with it in his palm. It shouldn’t be as hot as it is, him playing with your weapon, but the way he’s so leisurely about it — like he’s maybe done this before…knowing how good he is with his hands because you’ve been a very satisfied benefactor of their skills many a time now —
“You okay there? You forget I can hear your heart racing.”
He drags the dagger along the hollow of your throat, the standard issue button up uniform loose there, and then lower still toward the first button. He flicks his wrist and a button clatters against the ground, moves down a few centimeters and does the same to the next, the next, the next.
The knife follows. Falls into a pile of leaves, rustles them. There’s a moment — a quick, flash of time before he’s cutting off your breath in a searing kiss. Lips and teeth and hunger — a ravenous type of love, a ruinous thing that you crave. Fingers curl around your throat, apply the perfect amount of pressure that has you moaning into his mouth. He tips your chin up, up, up. His tongue glides along the skin there, silly nips spliced between, the rake of a fang over the throbbing beat of your pulse.
Heat pools in your belly. The sort of heat you know he can sense, your heightened arousal never to be hidden thanks to newer senses. He chuckles to himself as his nose nudges beneath your ear, lips toying with the lobe, breath sending chills down your spine as you shudder against him when his free hand slides down the front of your jeans, dragging a lazy circle over the wet fabric covering your slit.
“How long do we have before those idiots come back to get you?” he asks, a sultriness seeping into his tone.
“Long enough for you to feed,” you rasp out on a gasped breath, “or fuck me. Maybe both.”
“What do you want?” he asks, teeth scraping deliciously against your pulse again.
A little bit more, if you push him down a bit and ask him to take what he needs, and he’ll have sunk them into you again, submitting you to the delectable liquid honey that’ll flood your senses once he does.
The anticipation is one thing, a clanging cymbal that heats your blood. The knowledge that you can do this for him — that you enjoy it. It’s frighteningly empowering. Knowing it’s you who has kept him for so long— that it’s your blood that sings to him. Some might call it wrong; your friends had their own reservations and fears about it, understandably so.
After that first time, you got better with it. Quickly made sure to learn when to stop, how to stop (even if you often didn’t want to).
Sex had been one point of connection for the two of you. And that had been wonderful in and of itself. You craved him in ways you had never craved another. But this? Him having a part of you within him, your souls quite literally becoming one every time he drank from you — that was another level.
A sort of intensity that often made you both lose control. Whatever it was, you were irrevocably changed. This wonderful man, this creature you were meant to kill — the love that drew you into the forest like this, his hands making quick work of your jeans, tugging them down to your ankles, as his mouth licked at you furiously.
A gasp heaved from your chest. Fingers clutch in his hair as he pushes your hips back against the bark, fingers gripping tight to the dough of your thighs, keeping you spread out salaciously before him. It’s thrilling, the waves of your orgasm robbing you of your breath at the dawning realization of it, that at any moment Andy and Chance could appear.
That they might see you tangled so deeply in the web of lies you’ve become so tangled with these months, wrapped in the arms of the man who…loves you.
Because it’s forbidden, yes. By all means, if you’re found out it could be dangerous for both of you. They could kill him — would kill him.
But you would rip them all apart for the man who made a mess of you for all others.
You wince. And there’s coo. Eddie’s hands loosen from around your thighs, his body coming up to its full height before you. He lifts your hand, turns your palm up to inspect the splinter wedged into a fingertip. Blood pools from the wound, a scarlet teardrop that coasts down the back of your hand, trails toward your wrist.
Eddie’s eyes darken, and your lips curl up. You say quietly, “Go on.”
It might be wrong, on many levels, the way he brings your hand up to his mouth, tongue dragging along your wrist, the back of your palm, erasing the trickle of blood.
And it’s downright sinful the way he drags your finger into his mouth, eyes hazy and hooded, sucking lightly. Your mouth drops open, eyes fluttering rapidly at the beginnings of that familiar euphoria sparkling around the edges of your mind.
“I want to be inside you,” he groans, making no effort to let go of your offended appendage, “and you know I prefer somewhere private for…that.”
You know he means when he sinks his fangs into you, when he’s inside you, and you both lose yourself to the magic in his bite. Wants to be alone for when that primal desire kicks up within him, and he loses himself in your body intertwined like that.
“Eddie,” you whisper, dragging him down to the ground, onto the jeans laying sprawled across the floor. “Please. It’s been days.”
“Yeah,” he sighs, hissing out a breath as you make quick work of his belt buckle, the sound of a zipper ramping up your heart rate, “because your schedule has sucked this week —”
“Please,” you urge him as he helps you up and over his thighs, sliding you down his length like the thousands of times you’ve done this before.
His breath stutters against the curve of your throat as you rise and fall steadily over him, injured hand splayed over his heart.
“Please.”
There’s always a sting. It’s only a brief moment. A soft prick of pain like that of a needle. Only it’s really two, and they immediately are replaced by his tongue to soothe away the ache. A healing balm that oozes into your bloodstream. When he latches on again, it’s a bubbly, almost buzzing feeling that spreads through you. The feeling of sifting slowly through sinking sand, like dragging your fingers through water. Your mind numbs, a feeling of floating — of lightness unparalleled has you sinking further into him, the rolling of his hips beneath you tethering you to reality. Here and there, on the precipice of something earth shattering. It’s always like this with him.
“You’re perfect,” he whispers against where he’s bitten into your collarbone, into the skin peeking out from the collar of your shirt, “God, I love you.”
And he’s rolling you over, hands on either side of your face, eyes closed in blissfulness. The forest floor at your back, your thighs around his hips, bodies connected in a practiced dance. You marvel at his features, missing that point of additional connection, cupping his cheek instead. He’s told you you taste like the sweetest nectar, like heaven itself. Says it’s not like this with anyone else. That you’re divine, velvet, rich. You’re ethereal and his. And it takes everything in him to restrain himself, to tamper down the throbbing of his heart when he’s drinking you in, to not take too much. He could lose himself in you, in the bliss of your coupling, in the perfection of your essence.
You both come with a cry, and, as always, hate when it ends. There’s no time to hold one another, to kiss along his bare skin as he keeps you close to him. Not with the fear of Andy and Chance appearing at any time, fresh from their hunt, with murder on their minds.
Instead he leans down and cups a hand around the back of your head. Presses his forehead to yours and whispers of his love, devotion, desire for you. It’s a promise for later, sealed with the softness of his lips against yours, and he’s gone…slipping into the shadows.
No longer next to you, and yet forever marked on your heart.
——
A pair of white, well-loved Reebok’s sit near the door.
Paintings and sketches are scattered around the living room.
Further in the home, Eddie listens to the familiar thump-thump coming from down the hall. Can hear the reassuring inhale and exhale of your breath.
It’s night once more, and you’re finally off work, finally able to catch up on some sleep. Have slept most of the day since you got home, now that he thinks of it.
The bed shifts as he joins you once more, kissing along a bare spine, blankets curling low around your hips. He chuckles at the memory of you earlier, nearly kicking the door open on the hinges, ready to reprimand him for showing up unannounced while you were on patrol, only to end up ridding him of his clothes on your way to rest for the evening.
“Hi,” you whisper, eyes blinking up at him, adjusting to the darkness of the bedroom, “How long have I been out?”
“Few hours,” he tells you, running a hand along your bare shoulder. “Missed those eyes.”
“Sap.” It’s a tease. You see him every day, and even then it’s not enough.
“I made you dinner,” he says, rolling over onto his side beside you, nose brushing yours gently.
“Thank you.” You lean over to kiss him, smiling against his skin. That’ll never get old. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Another kiss. “Today was fun.”
A smirk curls your lips. “It was.”
“I should visit you at work more often.” He’s grinning, the insinuation of his words making your heart stumble happily. It’s music to his ears. “You liked that, didn’t you? Could smell it on you. Bet if I touched you now you’d be wet just from the memory of it.”
He’s not wrong. And he proves that point with the teasing drag of his middle finger along your clit, relishing the soft cry of, “Ed —” that spills from your parted lips.
“Reminded me of that first time we were together,” he purrs, rolling over you. Rolling you over onto your back. Your body settles beneath him, form soft and warm against his. “Forest floor.”
“Sexy,” you tease, breaking off into a whine as he pushes inside, rolling his hips against yours slowly. “All the dirt, twigs and leaves. Nothing screams romance like a nice forest fling.”
“We worked with what we had at the time,” he chuckles, cock dragging along your walls, drawing another moan from your throat. “But I think I like this better. Our bed. In our home.”
Because, though it’s forbidden, you never could handle the thought of being without him.
Had asked him to move in here months ago, into your home on the outskirts of town, to live a quiet life away from prying eyes.
Here, where you could protect him.
Here, where you never needed to be parted from him.
Here, where for a year now, and forever still to come, he’d have a place by your side.
“Next time, just bite me somewhere else, will you?” you ask, when you tumble back onto earth when it’s all over and you’re left satiated once more, body draped over Eddie’s. Eddie’s brows arch high on his forehead. “By the time your freaky magic saliva started to heal the bite, the guys thought it was a hickey and teased me relentlessly. And I can’t be with you from jail if they keep it up.”
“Pretty sure we’ll always be together.”
Forever, he’s promised.
Because maybe it’s his new, more animalistic side. The part of him that recognizes a soul mate. Maybe it’s the way you fit in his arms, the way your lips feel against his, or the way your blood sings to him.
But he thinks, in a way, you feel like his.
And he knows, in his heart, he’s yours.
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aemonds-sapphire · 1 year
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Bonding
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Summary: You are excited to share the news with Aemond: you're with child. But nothing could have prepared you for his reaction…
Pairing: Aemond x fem!reader (wife)
Warnings: Pregnancy. Vulnerable Aemond opening up. Hurt/Comfort.
A/N: I really hope you are able to fall deeper for Aemond as I have. Writing this really made me feel for him and everything he has been through.
Word count: 1.6k
Footsteps echoed across the bedroom as you patiently waited for him to return.
Inside, you were bursting with excitement, but you still had to remain calm and collected on the outside as servants were kept busy with their daily chores and entered the room freely.
Prince Aemond’s long awaited arrival was announced by the unmistakable groundshaking roar coming from Vhagar that tore throughout King’s Landing.
You rushed to the window in the hopes of spotting the young prince the mighty dragon, and when she came into your field of vision you could barely contain your emotions.
The old dragon glided across the sky in a gentle descent, heading towards the dragonpit. Now, Vhagar was far too enormous to be kept there, so it would just be a brief stop to drop off her rider.
Aemond sat upright with such elegance that you were certain he fully embodied the glory and might of the house of the dragon.
Nervousness started to grip your heart as you asked the servants to exit the room.
As minutes ticked by, you felt an impending nausea wash over you.
You couldn't be sick. Not now.
The bedroom door swung open and young Prince Aemond walked in, and removed his cloak off to reveal his handsome features.
"Lord husband," you greeted in a forced neutral tone and with a proper bow, lacing your hands in front of you.
Seeing your sudden serious pose had him curl his lips in his traditional smile as he adjusted his unruly silver hair.
"Lady wife," he bowed and the two of you just stood there in silence for a brief moment.
You were the first to crack the mask with a soft grin, rushing to his embrace.
Manners and formalities had no place when the two of you were alone, so you'd occasionally mock the lords and ladies of the court, which never failed to draw a smile from Aemond.
He enveloped you with his arms and pulled you into a sweet and tender kiss. You'd missed his warmth and how he had the ability to make it feel like you were his entire world.
Softness gave way to an increasing roughness as he deepened the kiss, cupping your face with one hand as the other gripped your waist.
Passionate as ever, Aemond had you melting into his touch, pressing his lower half to yours and letting you know of his intentions.
Oh.
You broke the kiss. "Well, someone's excited," you chuckled, looking down to the growing bulge in his dark pants.
"Dragon riding always sharpens my appetite," Aemond grinned mischievously, toying with the lace that carefully held your robes over your heaving breasts.
As much as you'd love to give into the temptation, you had to brush that aside, putting a halt to his prying fingers.
"I have something to tell you."
The young prince arched an eyebrow. "What is it?"
You took his hand and placed it on your stomach, waiting for the implication to hit him.
"Are you hurt?" Aemond suddenly said as his voice had a hint of concern.
Men.
"No. I'm with child," you said, caressing the fingers on your belly. "Our child."
His face visibly dropped and he dropped his hand to his side.
"How?"
You rolled your eyes, chuckling at the absurdity of his question. "You really want to me to remind you of how this happened?"
He shook his head. "No, of course... I mean… are you certain?"
Apprehension took a hold of you, and slowly but surely your hands started shaking lightly.
Was he not happy? Did he not want a child?
Casting your worries aside, you cleared your throat. "Grand Maester Mellos has confirmed it. I haven't bled in two moon cycles."
Aemond remained silent as if still processing everything you'd just told him.
You searched for his hands and entwined your fingers with his. "What is it? You do not seem pleased..."
"What if I'm not fit to be a father?"
Those words took you aback momentarily. "Nonsense. Why do you think that?"
He was visibly uncomfortable as you felt the grip on your fingers increasing.
"I didn't grow up knowing what that feels like."
King Viserys had seldom been a father to his son. Even long before he had managed to bond with Vhagar. Every sense of loyalty and tenderness he had was taught by his mother. But the scars of neglect ran deep within his core, and you couldn't really blame his mind for conjuring up all these fears.
"You will be an exceptional father, I’m sure.”
He looked away, definitely avoiding your gaze. “And if our child grows to resent me like I resentsed my father..."
The damage Aemond Targaryen had been been subjected to had a firm grip on his emotional balance, and that much was crystal clear to you now. He kept coming up with daunting scenarios of how this would not go well, instead of embracing this as an opportunity for him to prove his worth by showing everyone that he was not his father.
You brought one hand to his face, silently pleading that he'd look at you.
"Do not worry about this, Aemond. You having these doubts shows me you're already a better father than he could ever be."
His uncovered eye landed on you, embracing your touch, but not your words.
“Our child could never resent you.”
"You do not know that."
"I do not," you nodded, caressing his cheek, keeping your eyes firmly on his. "But I do know you, and you are nothing like your father."
The young prince still didn't seem convinced in the slightest.
"Aemond... you will be an exceptional father." It was getting harder to maintain your voice calm as the gut-wrenching realisation hit you.
He had never once expressed wanting a child, and now you understood why. You didn't think much of it back then, because it was something to be expected in a marriage.
You'd wrongly assumed the hurt from his past wouldn't have such a hold on him, throwing him into this loop of never-ending worries.
"What if our child is unable to..." he paused abruptly and your heart clenched in anticipation as his eye was now set on your enlaced hands. "... to claim a dragon."
"Oh, Aemond," you whispered as an uncontrollable wave of concern washed over you. "Aemond..."
You weren't sure your words would bring any comfort to him, but it was the best you had to offer.
Unlacing your hands from his, you brought them to frame his face. "Look at me, Aemond."
When his eye met yours, you caressed his cheeks lovingly. Beads of sweat pooled on his forehead and even his breathing had become erratic.
It was as if the proud and elegant Targaryen prince had been replaced with someone else. You had heard the stories of how Aemond was once ridiculed for being unable to bond with a dragon, in spite of his best efforts.
"Do not pity me, my lady," he broke the silence. "Great warriors aren't born, they are made."
Always so eloquent, but it surely seemed like he was merely trying to convince himself of that.
You nodded. "Exactly. You faced that obstacle and you overcame it. You will be there for our child, and that is all that matters."
Aemond flinched away from your touch. "And if you're not?"
"What do you mean?"
"My father's first wife died during childbirth," his voice was strained. "I cannot bear the thought of losing you."
Your heart skipped a beat.
"Aemond... you will not lose me," you weren't sure whether you were comforting him or yourself at this point. "Maester Mellos is quite capable and he has already provided me with some teas to boost my health."
Both his hands were now on yours as he leaned to rest his forward on yours.
"I cannot lose you." His voice was but a whisper.
"You will not," you said once more, closing both eyes and simply enjoying the unexpected display of adoration.
He heaved a deep sigh before pushing you into a tight embrace. "Avy jorrāelan."
Your eyes flew open and you felt your heart soar in delight. He had never uttered those words before. Not even on the day you were promised to each other for eternity.
If you were going to go on this new journey of having a child, you couldn't feel safer knowing it'd be by his side.
"Avy... jorāelan..." your High Varylian was rudementary at best, but that didn't stop you from trying.
You felt a low chuckle rumble across his chest. "Very good, lady wife."
"Do not mock me," your eyes looked up to meet him with a dramatic pout on your face.
A genuine smile tugged at his lips. "I wouldn't dream of doing so."
He then dropped to one knee, gripping your waist tenderly with both hands.
Nothing could have prepared you for witnessing Aemond Targaryen lovingly planting a kiss to your covered belly. Your tangled your fingers along his hair, completely and utterly in love with how vulnerable he looked, but also so willling to embrace change.
You watched as he pressed his cheek where his lips had just been, and whispered something in High Valyrian you couldn’t decipher. But maybe it wasn’t meant for you to.
This was just between them.
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lovelytsunoda · 1 year
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the day you kissed a writer in the dark // han lue (tokyo drift)
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summary: she's stood by his side for years. his loyal mechanic, the brains behind his brawn. but she'd be lying if she said that it didn't hurt to watch him flirt with those other women in his club, when he came home to her every night in secret.
bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark, now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart. i am my mother's child, i'll love you 'till my breathing stops.
pairing: han lue x mechanic! reader
warnings: smut, inappropriate use of a drifting car, insecurity and self-doubt, secret relationships, unplanned pregnancy.
author's note: here's something a little different today, lovelies! it's a departure from the usual realm of f1 content i usually bless you all with, but i felt like i needed to do something different to avoid burning myself out, and rewatching tokyo drift gave me the inspiration that i needed :)
she hated the club.
in the back end of her mind, she always resented the mere existence of that secret room leading to han's garage. the fact that he chose to surround himself with women in tight dresses with long legs and perky boobs like he was some kind of yakuza punk.
well, this wasn't crows fucking zero. this was real life.
she couldn't help but draw comparisons between these beautiful girls and herself. as she curled in on herself to duck through the crowd, she frowned at her reflection in the window: her torn up jeans, the grease stain on the cuff of her army-green sweater, the zip barely done up enough to cover up her double-d's, a small nut from her very first car hanging limply from a chain around her neck.
some days, she wondered why han had chosen her of all people.
"sean?" she asked quietly, poking the young american boy in the arm, practically shouting to be heard. "have you seen han?"
sean shook his head. "no, sorry. have you checked the garage?"
"i'm heading back there now. thanks, sean." she sighed, backing out the way that she came, trying not to think about all of the places that her boyfriend could be right now.
the anxiety ate away at her. was he with one of the other girls? one of the prettier, taller, thinner ones? was that why he wanted to keep the relationship under wraps?
was han ashamed of her?
she hurried down the rickety metal staircase, dropping her purse on the workbench as she went, subconsciously placing a hand over her stomach as she thought about the white plastic stick inside the fake leather bag.
they'd been sneaking around for a year, but they'd known each other far longer. she had come to tokyo when she was twenty-one, with a pocketful of cash and a monkey wrench. she had a high school diploma, but that didn't mean much to the rally teams she had applied to work on the pit crews for.
and that's when han swooped her up. when she became the bonnie to his clyde, the mechanic for his little street racing gambit.
that was three years ago. now she was almost twenty-five, he was twenty-seven, and he was in far too deep for them to keep going like this.
she knew why he had to keep it a secret. telling the world that she was his lover would put a target on her back. because that's what happens when you get in deep with someone like dk.
she pulled her hair back with the green rubber band on her wrist, pushing up her sleeves as she reached for a ratchet and approached han's car, the hood already open and ready for her.
working on the cars had always been her safe haven. her distraction from the outside world. fixing something that was broken gave her a satisfaction like no other.
"babe?" han's voice echoed through the garage, and she hated herself for the way that she froze up, fingers tightening around the ratchet. "sean said you were asking around for me? is everything okay?"
she withdrew from the car, slamming the hood down. "you're pushing the car too far. the engine is wearing down, you have to get something stronger. the serpentine belt is at it's brink."
"and that's why you're the brains of this operation and i'm just the pretty boy who drifts." han said playfully, wrapping his arms around her midsection as resting his chin on her shoulder.
"be more careful out there, seoul-oh." she said softly, placing a cold hand on top of his warm one before turning her head and kissing him softly. "i don't know what i'd do if anything ever happened to you."
han spun her body around gently, his hands on her waist as she jumped to perch her body on the edge of the hood, her fingers tangling in his dark, silky hair.
"you don't need to worry about me, sweetheart. i'm going to be okay."
she sighed, lacing her fingers together behind his neck. "where were you, han? wandering around your club with a girl on each arm? a girl that's three times prettier than i am, maybe one who's clothes are a little more revealing-"
"y/n, stop." han said firmly. "baby, you're the only one. my only one." he kissed her on the forehead softly. "i love you. i love you so much that it hurts. i wish i could shout it from the rooftops, but i can't put you in danger like that. i don't want dk to know, because that's a target on your back that i don't want there."
he pulled her as close as he could, arms wrapped securely around her as he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. "i couldn't live with myself if anything ever happened to you."
the sincerity in the older man's voice was reassuring. but some days, it wasn't enough. she loved him more than words could say, but she was getting tired of being his little secret.
but at the end of the day, it was her bed that he always came home to. his arms she woke up in. his terrible singing in the kitchen while he made coffee with breakfast.
han lue was hers.
she kissed him again, still sitting on the edge of the toyota's hood. this kiss was stronger, harder. with more feeling as she bunched han's sweater up in her fingers, trying to wrestle it off his broad shoulders, his hands gripping her thighs tight enough to make her moan against his lips.
"seoul-oh." she mumbled as han broke away from her, pulling his sweater off the rest of the way before tugging his everlast t-shirt over his head.
they fit together like well-worn puzzle pieces, his lips finding that place on her neck that made her crumble, turned her legs to jelly as he slipped a hand up the front of her sweater, thumb tracing comforting shapes against her stomach as he nipped at her neck, biting down gently. there would be a hickey there in a mere matter of hours.
trailing kisses back up her neck, he gently bit her earlobe before placing one hand on the side of her face to guide her lips back to his, the other hand braced against the hood of the car to hold himself up. she bit down on his bottom lip, wrenching a growl from the back of han's throat.
he pulled away, dropping to his knees in front of the car as his large hands dipped under the waistband of her jeans. after reaching down to untie and kick off her beat up vans, she reached above her to grab the exposed beam in the garage ceiling, pulling her body up and allowing han to pull her jeans and panties down her legs in one fell swoop.
"oh, not on the car, baby. you'll stain the bodywork."
"don't care." han hummed, kissing the soft skin of her thigh. "i can't think of anything prettier than you. on the hood of my car, legs spread wide for me." he mumbled in between kisses, inching ever closer to where y/n needed him most, her arousal dripping onto the cool metal hood of the drift car.
and when his lips touched her throbbing clit, she could have sworn she turned electric, using one hand to brace herself against the car and burying the other in han's hair as she threw her head back in a throaty moan.
"han." she panted, grinding against his face as his tongue licked and sucked at her core. "oh, baby, yes."
han smiled to himself, kissing her clit gently as he held her thighs open with his hands. "still think that i don't find you attractive any more?"
"shut up, please. i need you so bad." she'd barely finished speaking when another low, seductive moan left her mouth. the arm that was holding her body up threatened to buckle underneath her as she tugged on han's hair, urging him to keep going.
han chuckled, the vibrations sending shockwaves through her body as her arm buckled, and she found herself lying against the hood, her head on the windscreen as she bucked her hips, searching for more as her lover tongue-fucked her, her legs thrown over his shoulders with reckless abandon.
"seoul-oh." she whined, clenching her thighs around han's head
"i know, baby." he mumbled softly, kissing her thigh. "you're doing so well darling. come for me."
and that's exactly what she did. with a moan so loud that she was shocked that the patrons of the club couldn't hear it echoing through the garage, she let go, her juices coating the lower half of han's face as he licked her clean before wiping off the bottom half of his face with the back of his hand.
"fuck." he mumbled, standing between her legs and leaning over the car to kiss her. "i can't get enough of you, baby. i think i'm gonna need more."
"oh yeah?" she smiled sitting up slightly, resting her weight on her elbows and raising an eyebrow when she saw the obvious hard-on struggling to break free from the confines of han lue's jeans. "and what do you think we should do about it?"
"back. room. now." he said, softly but firmly, kissing her in between each word as she wrapped her bare legs around his body, allowing han to pick her up and carry her over to the back room, where a double bed was piled high with blankets for the nights where they worked late, or drift races lasted until the mere hours of the morning.
or, nights where neither of them wanted to go home. han was sure that they had fucked on almost every available surface of the garage.
she undid her sweater slowly, revealing the lacy white bra underneath, the makeshift pendant on her necklace hanging delicately just above the hollow of her breasts as she cast the fabric aside, reaching up to snap the elastic band in her hair, letting it cascade in waves down her shoulders.
"you're beautiful, you know that?" he said softly, kneeling on the mattress as he rested one hand gently against her cheek.
she leaned into his touch, reaching up to wrap her slender fingers around his wrist, pressing a soft kiss to the heel of his hand.
she knew she should tell him. han needed to know.
but now was definitely not the time.
not that she could find the words while he kissed her neck, her chest, her stomach, his fingers dancing across her back as he fumbled with the clasp of her bra, erection straining against his jeans.
"han, babe." she mumbled, reaching behind her. "it's been a year now, you should know how to undo a bra, mr. womanizer." she joked, pushing his hands away as she pulled the bra off by herself.
"why would i need to know how to do it when you just take it off by yourself most of the time?" he grinned, standing up to unbuckle his belt.
he started to undo his jeans, pausing halfway as if he had forgotten something before he darted over to the rolling toolbox in the back of the room, pulling a small foil packet out of the top drawer.
fat lot of good a condom would do them now.
not when she was already carrying his baby inside of her.
her body trembled with anticipation as she watched han rid himself of his jeans, the echo of his belt buckle hitting the floor echoing around the room before he rolled the latex sheath onto his thick, hard cock.
god, she was a fool in love. han seoul-oh made her feel every range of emotions all at once.
"seoul-oh." she mumbled, lips against his as he clambered onto the bed, covering her body with his broad one.
"hm?" han mumbled, pressing kisses all over her face.
"i love you, han lue." she said firmly, gently pushing his face away so she could look him in the eyes. "i mean it, babe. you've ruined me for anybody else. you're it for me."
"good, because i don't think i could love anybody else if i tried." han breathed out, kissing her again, the tip of his cock teasing her entrance.
she squirmed under him, a small gasp escaping her lips before she bit down on her bottom lip.
she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg. that wasn't what tonight was for.
han knew this as well, gently pushing himself inside her. tonight was about more than just chasing a high. for both of them. it was about love, and reassurance, and intimacy.
she threaded her fingers through his hair, whining as han moved ever so slightly, the sensations they both felt sending shockwaves through their bodies.
"seoul-oh." she moaned softly. "please. god, you feel incredible."
"yeah?" han crooned, thrusting softly and barely holding back a moan of his own. "you look so pretty with my cock inside you, my sweet sweet girl."
"just like that." she whined as he thrusted again, bucking her hips into him, trying to take his length deeper. "keep doing that, fuck."
when han's nimble fingers came up grip and massage her right breast, she knew she was a goner, arching her back to drive her body into him with a moan as he kissed her chest.
"you like that, baby? yeah, you love having my hands all over you. and i love touching your beautiful body." han murmured, sucking a hickey onto her collarbone. he could feel himself unravelling, knew that the end was nigh as he moaned against her skin, blindly reaching for her hand.
there were no more slow thrusts as the driver began to pick up the pace, his lover's legs wrapped tightly around him as she moaned his name.
"oh god, han, baby. fuck, keep going." she panted, one hand trailing down her body to play with her clit. anything to get her closer to that release she craved as she whined and squirmed under han's touch.
she'd seen this film before, and she already knew the ending. and the start if the sequel.
"come for me, baby. i know you can take it, just give me one more, okay?"
"han, han, holy shit." she moaned, feeling the coil in her stomach finally snap, her high crashing over her like a wave.
her lover groaned above her, a guttural sound ripped straight from his throat before han gently pulled out of her sensitive body, the evidence of his own peak contained within the clear latex that he slid off his member, tying the condom off in a knot before punting it into the trash can next to his desk.
she pulled the blankets up as han settled in the bed next to her, his warm fingers dancing in gentle circles against her sweaty skin as they laid together in the afterglow, a content look on his face as he kissed her on the forehead.
"seoul-oh." she said quietly, twirling his long, dark locks of hair around her fingertip. "i have to tell you something."
"what's on your mind, pretty girl?" worry creased han seoul-oh's face, a pit forming in his stomach.
he hated seeing her like this.
"i'm pregnant."
han's eyes widened. "what? babe, why didn't you tell me?"
"i've been trying all day. but you've had your hands full with dk and sean and drifting." she said sadly. "but i can't raise this baby with dk breathing down our necks. you need to get out of this life, seoul-oh."
han frowned thoughtfully, one hand resting against the side of her face. "i'm going to be a father. fucking hell, babe this is incredible. i promise you, i'm going to make a plan, and i'm going to get us out of tokyo."
"you know we can't keep this a secret any longer, right? i'm already eight weeks along, once the first trimester ends, i won't be able to hide it."
"you're right, you're right. we'll test the waters. i'll tell sean and twinkie in the morning, see how the news of our relationship goes over with them. i want to keep it from dk until i can find a way to get us out of here."
y/n nodded, lacing her fingers with han's and placing his hand on her stomach. "okay. let's do this thing." she broke out into a smile. "we're going to be parents, han. can't you picture it? sitting behind the wheel of your toyota, with our little gremlin on your lap, teaching them how to drive before they can even walk."
han laughed. "they'll be born with a monkey wrench in one hand and a bag of lays in the other."
"i love you, seoul-oh." she said softly, kissing him gently. "i'm so glad i found you three years ago.
"i love you more, y/n. and i can't wait to raise this kid with you."
Tags (though im not sure if any of you are interested loll):
@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiamh
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