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vapid-slut · 4 years

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A Dove Reborn; Ch.1

Warning[s]: Character death, Mentions of violence, murder, demonic possession [kinda, eh yea]

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Reader, a catholic schoolgirl, is brought in as a sacrifice. It isn’t until she’s payed a visit in hell that she’s given a second chance at life and vengeance

A/N: This is my first michael fic so enjoy my shitty excuse for writing I’ve been think about writing this for awhile so I really you like it. Whoever you may be [this blog is a ghost town]. Also there may be some typos because it’s late and a bitch is lazy. xoxo, go piss girl

Darkness.

That's all you saw as your limp body dragged across what felt like wood. You cried out, hoping someone would have the heart to help you. Instead, they laughed at your naiveness. Before you could think any longer, a voice interrupted your thoughts. "This is y/n she has devoted her entire life to being a good little christian. Pathetic." The woman spoke with hatred in her voice as you heard others make noises of disapproval and disdain. Your breath was shaking, you knew there was little hope for you, they didn't care about you or your life, and why should they? After all, you were just a shy little girl whose own family sent her away to a convent to get rid of her.

The skin on your body crawled as you felt the burning stares of everyone gawking at your practically naked form. The woman continued to go on about how silly you were for choosing to believe in a god who couldn't even protect you now, her voice overlapping with your screams and pleas. "Well, let's not waste any more time. The honor of tonight's sacrifice shall go to one of our newest members, Jim." If you were uncertain of your fate before, this solidified it. Tonight was the night you were doing to die.

You pleaded for your life though it was ineffective, your body tensed as you felt a hand across your face remove a few stray hairs. Before you knew it, the blade held along your neck glided with ease, your eyes began to tear as you took what would be your last few breaths. There, on the floor, your once pure body laid lifeless, upper half drenched in your blood.

Eventually, the group of heinous worshippers dispersed, some going off to eat, others making their way home. All of them seemingly unbothered by the presence of your corpse. Having your body on display for everyone to see was truly humiliating. You were to be gawked at, mocked, and then forgotten. The story of your life, no one had ever taken you seriously. Your mother hated you the moment she birthed you. Your father never stayed long enough for you to remember him. With all the time you had spent laying there, your body began releasing a foul odor, making it clear that you had to go.

The blue-eyed boy towered over your figure, his head turning slightly to face the much shorter woman with hair like that of a raven. "What would you like me to do with her, Michael?" The woman named Ms.Mead asked with a calmness to her voice, almost as if she did this often. Michael sighed, letting his shoulders fall slightly. "It's such a shame she would've made a great pet." He paused, taking a breath. "Bury her or throw her in the river for all I care, whichever is easiest." He said sternly as the woman nodded, the blonde turned on his heels to exit the once full room.

-----

You woke up from felt like an eternal sleep. Rubbing your eyes to look around the room, it all felt familiar. The soft lilac walls and crisply made bed, this was your home. Albeit one you hadn't seen in a long time. It had been almost seven years since your mother dropped you off at a convent. You observed the room with confusion, wondering why you were here.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing your strung-out mother. Your head tilted in confusion. "M-mom?" You reached to touch her, but out of nowhere, she raised the back of her hand to strike you across the face. You brought your hand to your cheek, eyes welling up with tears until suddenly she froze.

Everything was happening so suddenly that you cowered in fear as another woman entered the room, dressed in white, she flashed you a smile. The girl reached to hold your hand, but you immediately flinched. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." She said, her voice soft and calming. You rubbed the tears away from your eyes and took hold of her warm hand. "Who are you. W-where am I?" The girl helped you to your feet. "My name is Mallory, right now you're in hell. But I'm here to take you back t-" Before she could finish, a dark figure walked in. "Ah, ah, ah. You don't get to break satans rules, my love." The man appeared with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes.

"Asclepius, this isn't any of your concern," Mallory said, letting go of my hand as she inched closer to the man. "It is actually, I too have been tasked with bringing Y/N back to the mortal realm." You watched as the two bickered as if you weren't in their presence, tired of sitting around like a church mouse, you decided to speak up. "Okay, what the fuck are you talking about?!" The two turned to look at you, almost shocked that you had interrupted them. Asclepius sighed before stepping closer to you. "This might seem hard for you to comprehend, but you're dead. Your purity made you a viable sacrifice for satan." He paused for a moment, reading the confusion on your face. "This place is hell."

You scoffed, finding his comment ridiculous. That was until you remembered the darkness, the voice of that wretched woman, and the coldness of the knife. "Holy shit." You said, your head falling as you realize your predicament. "So, what do you two want from me?" Mallory turned on her heels. "Well, I was sent to retrieve your soul and bring it back to your mortal body until he showed up." Asclepius rolled his eyes at the brunette, annoyed by her response. "My boss, satan, has been displeased with his son's work. He thinks you'd be a fine companion, someone to give him a push to bring about the end times."

All of this sounded insane. It was simply too much to process. Mallory could sense the fear coming off of you. "Good thing is that won't happen, so long as I have a say in it." She reached to hold your face as a form of comfort. But before you could react, her body fell limp as the red-haired man retrieved his arm from her back, her heart in his hand as you shrieked in terror. "Shhh Y/N, there is no need to fear me, soon you'll be back to normal soon." His voice overlapped with the hissing of snakes as they slithered towards you.

There was no place to run, so instead you back into one of the four corners of the room, even then, you knew it was useless. Pain pierced through your skin as the vipers sank their teeth into your skin, venom mixing with your blood. You tried to scream, but nothing left your throat, your mind slowly fading in and out of consciousness. The man gave you a half-hearted smile. "Send Michael my regards." And with that, your world faded to black once again.

-----

The skin on your body began to prune, given the countless days you had spent floating in the river. Suddenly your heart began to beat as blood rushed through your veins, your eyes opened, the water starting to irritate them. You mustered up what little strength you had left and made your way to the surface, gasping for air.

Swimming was never your strong suit, but you noticed that there was land nearby, so used your bit of energy to make sure you got there. Once you reached the dry land, your body fell, your back making contact with the soil. You wanted nothing more than to sleep. But something caught your attention, a scent. One you weren't all that accustomed to, you felt something within, almost as if your body was fighting itself.

Your body acted against you as you stood, drawing closer to the smell. As you crept, the voices become much more vivid. One, in particular, was much too familiar. "This sacrifice is much more special than anyone we've done before." You thought for a moment, and your mind brought you back to the night you lost your life, your cries and pleas ignored just like the unlucky girl they had chosen tonight.

You yearned to do something, but you were no match for them. That was until you watched as your skin went pale, bits of it turned to scales. Part of you was horrified, but part of you relished in this new power. Before you made a move, you heard a much deeper voice speak. "I sense something, someone, a powerful presence." Suddenly your body was completely taken over. Your once [y/e/c] eyes had now turned to a crimson red. Without thought, you suddenly appeared behind one of the cloaked figures, something you weren't aware you could do till now.

All the rage and bloodlust inside of you reached a boil. As your arm plunged into the woman's chest, you retrieved your hand to find her heart in it, and with no hesitation, you took a bite. The look of shock on everyone's face was pure bliss. You stood, wearing nothing but the underwear you had on the night of your death, covered in blood. Many of the cult members attempted to stop you, but it proved useless as you swiftly discarded them.

The few worshippers that remained had fled, hoping to keep their lives. All that was left were the corpses and Michael, along with Ms. Mead. The blonde boy gave a look of astonishment. Before anyone could break the silence, your skin reverted back to its previous form, the red in your eyes fading as your body fell to the ground. Michael approached you, kneeling to be closer to your face, cupping your chin, now drenched in blood.

"Magnificent, my father must have sent you." His face formed a wicked smile. You were far too weak to respond and watched as he removed his cloak and placed it over your cold body. With that, he scooped you into his arms, continuing to burn into you with his gaze.

His voice was smooth and mellow as he whispered into your ear. "Let's get you home." You shook your head in disapproval and tried to push yourself off of him, but there was no point. It was clear who had the upper hand. Slowly your consciousness began to fade once again. It was clear how exhausted you were, and eventually, you drifted into a slumber. Your fate left in the hands of a man who watched you die.

----

okay wow can’t believe i actually finished a fic for the first time, this feels great! I hope you enjoyed, let me know if you wanna be tag okay toodles!

#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon imagine #Michael Langdon smut #Michael Langdon blurb #Michael langdon headcanon #michael langdon fanfiction

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emmy-writes-sometimes · 4 years

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Oh, Baby!

You and Sebastian have been waiting for almost an entire year to adopt a baby. What happens when the call finally comes?

You stood up from the door you’d just painted and sighed. It looked good. You’d taken painter’s tape and put it in a geometric pattern. There was really nothing else to do with the door until you could put a sign on it with the baby’s name. If you ever got one, that was.

You and Sebastian had been married for two years, together for three before that. He was the absolute love of your life. You wanted the world for him and he wanted the same for you. And when you found out you couldn’t have the children you’d always dreamed of, you’d decided to give adoption a chance. You’d been on the list for a year. Last month you’d been told to prepare a room, so you did. It was absolutely beautiful by the time you were done with it – it was right across the hallway from the office, so you and Sebastian could go check on the baby. It was gender neutral, even though you both wanted a girl. And then the day came to go get the baby and the mother changed her mind.

Now you were waiting, again, on the list. You were waiting and waiting. This time, though, you’d decided to adopt from Romania. It was where Sebastian was from and they had so many babies and children that needed a home, and every time you’d heard Sebastian’s mother talk about Sebastian there your heart had skipped a few beats. But you still couldn’t help but think that maybe you weren’t getting picked because people thought you wouldn’t be good parents. And it was slowly breaking you, little by little, so much so that you’d taken the leftover paint from the nursery and painted over the white door. It brightened up the hallway, that was for sure.

“What on Earth did you just do?” You turned around to see a smile on Sebastian’s face. He’d been gone filming for most of the day. In fact, you hadn’t even seen him since the night before. He was training for another movie, too, and left before the crack of dawn. Luckily, though, the filming was almost over and then he’d be all yours for another few months.

“I got bored so I painted the door,” you said with a shrug.

“It looks amazing.” You stood up. Sebastian turned you around and captured your lips in a kiss, but you pushed him away with your elbows.

“I have paint all over me, Seb,” you giggled.

“Yeah, I know. I like it.”

“And hopefully, someday soon, a baby will.” Sebastian’s face fell, and yours did too.

“Sweetheart, we’ll get a call when we get a call.”

“And what if we don’t?”

“Someone’s got to have a baby,” he said as he pulled your hands to wrap them around his waist. You hugged him back with a sigh. “And one of these days our names are going to come up on that list. And we’ll get a call. And we’ll fly there. And then we’ll have a baby. I promise.”

“But what if they decide we’re not fit or whatever?”

“They’ve checked both of the houses out half a dozen times. We’re good to go, honey. We just have to wait our turn.” You sighed again as he kissed your hair. “And until then, how about you help me bring in the groceries I just got?”

It was two weeks later before you even thought about it again, and before you ended up at that door again. This time it was just because there was a draft in the hallway and you realized that Sebastian had opened the window last night. So you walked in, and the breakdown started. You ended up in the old rocking chair Sebastian had gotten from his mom’s house, one he’d had since he lived in Romania, and you were crying your eyes out by the time he found you.

“I just want a family so bad, Seb,” you said softly as he stood in front of you, taking your hands.

“Yeah, sweetie, I know,” he responded. “We’re a family, okay? And you and me and the dog are going to get our baby. Whether it’s tomorrow or next week or next month or… whenever. We’ll get our baby.” You nodded, sniffling, and tried to stop crying.

“I just wish I could stop having breakdowns over this.” You tried to smile, but it didn’t work.

“Next thing you know, our kid will be going to elementary school and you’ll have a breakdown over that.” You swatted at his shoulder. “What? It’s true, you cry at everything.”

“Hello?” You didn’t even turn your head at the sound of Sebastian’s phone ringing. He perked up, though, and looked over at you. You turned the book you were reading upside down upon seeing the look on his face. You cocked your head and Sebastian turns his phone over for a second.

“What?” You asked.

“Go buy the next tickets to Bucharest,” he said with a smile on his face.

“What?” At first, none of it made sense. And then it did. He turned back to his phone.

“Yep. Yes. Yes. We’ll email you our flight itinerary and meet you at the airport,” he said. “And we’ll have all of our things with us. Right. Thank you, so much. Bye.”

“Well?”

“There’s a baby waiting for it’s new parents in Bucharest!” He said loudly, scooting to your side of the couch to hug you tightly. You’d never felt so happy in your entire life. You’d never felt so relieved, either.

“Ours?”

“Ours. Go, go, get the tickets! I’ll pack!” You jumped off the couch and out of Sebastian’s arms with a squeal and ran into the office to turn on the computer.

In an hour and a half you were loading your carry-on bags and the baby’s things into the back of your Uber. The driver looked a little confused as to why you had so many things for a baby except for the baby yourselves, but didn’t question it. You just sat in the back with Sebastian and tried not to squeal from excitement again. You’d been reading blog after article on website after website about other people’s adoption stories and even though you weren’t trying to get your hopes up, nobody better take a baby away from you after making you come all the way to Romania.

“Passports?” Sebastian asked as you walked into the airport, looking for your airline’s kiosk station. You handed the bundle of passports to him, taking the baby carrier. “If we get separated, just meet me at the gate. We had half an hour after security, so I’ll get the coffee and you get the snacks.”

“You’ve been planning this out for awhile.”

“You’re not the only one who’s been waiting for ages upon ages for a mini-me. Go.” He watched as you printed out your boarding pass and checked in, doing the same on his own kiosk. Everything went smoothly – you went through security, got Sebastian’s favorite snacks, got your favorite snacks from the next booth over, and then met Sebastian at your gate. He’d checked everything aside from your backpacks and was sitting down, holding a carton of two iced coffees.

“I got extra espresso in yours,” he said.

“And that’s why I’m adopting a child with you.” He smiled.

“And remember. If you don’t like me after a month, it’s not like we can return it.” You scoffed.

“I could just tell customs you have a bomb in your pants.”

“You wouldn’t!” He shoved you as you took your iced coffee from him, almost causing you to spill it.

“I would after that.” You both shut up and waited for your flight to start boarding.

It was a thirteen hour long flight, and it was endless. The entire time you were getting up and down to walk around the plane, to go to the bathroom, then wander back to your seat. Sebastian took a pill and was out, but you were there, the entire time, smiling to yourself and dreaming about the baby that was finally about to be yours.

“Oh, my God,” you heard Sebastian breathe out when he stepped inside the hospital room, looking at the baby in the farthest crib to the left.

“This is Victoria,” the nurse said in a thick accent as she walked you two over there to meet her. “I understand you’re the adoptive parents?”

“Yeah,” you breathed out. The baby was as beautiful as you could’ve imagined. She had blue eyes, like Sebastian’s, and that was when you knew it must be fate.

“You’re allowed to change the name, of course, if there’s something else you’d prefer.” You thought about the name and looked at Sebastian. “Would you like to hold her?”

“You go first,” you said to Sebastian, when you saw that he was actually starting to cry. You just put a hand on his back, insisting, and the nurse quickly showed Sebastian how to hold her. “I don’t know. We’ve had all this time and never even thought of a name.”

“I don’t mind Victoria,” Sebastian said, looking over at you. “Victoria…”

“Georgeta,” you interrupted. “After your mom.”

“Only if we do Elizabeth after. For your mom.” You smiled.

“I don’t know, Seba, it’s a long name.” Sebastian held the baby tightly, swinging her over to face you.

“I think she looks like a Victoria Georgeta Elizabeth Stan,” Sebastian said with a grin. “Huh?” You could see the beginning of dark hair on the baby’s head and reached your hand out. The baby gripped onto your thumb with her tiny fingers. Your heart skipped a beat again.

“Yeah,” you said. Sebastian kissed the baby’s head like he did yours. “Almost as pretty as her.”

“Almost as pretty as you.” Sebastian offered you the baby. “I’ll go sign the papers so we can go take our baby home.”

“Our baby,” you repeated. He closed the distance between you and kissed you.

“Ours.”

A/N: I hope the person who requested this loves reading it as much as I loved writing it! Like, the things I would give to have Sebastian’s children... not to be too thirsty or anything.

#sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader

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summernightskyy · 4 years

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My Top The 100 Men

So, @nomattertheoceans tagged me to post about my Top 5 The 100 Women, and while I was doing that, I got curious about who her Top 5 The 100 Men are (I’m almost positive I know at least one person who would be on her list, and I think he might even be number 1 haha). So I decided to do my own and then tag her in this! This was very hard, but in a different way from the women for me. I knew who my number one was, no doubt. But #2-5? I love every character on this list a lot, so really almost everyone else is tied for second place hehe.

1. Bellamy Blake

Oh Bellamy. My journey with him has been a long one. I started out the series nearly hating him, but then as we got to see the motivation behind his actions, I started to not only understand the character, but love him. Now, he’s one of my favorite characters across all media - potentially even my absolute favorite male character of all time. He’s an extremely nuanced character, and I love getting to see different sides of him. I love getting to see a lead male character express emotion the way he does (and not just anger); I love seeing a male lead get to cry, and not be portrayed as weak I think we need that more on TV and in movies. I grieve for the childhood both of the Blake siblings had, and I’m so proud of them (is it weird to say I’m proud of a fictional character?) for turning out the way they have. Bellamy, who was burdened with so much at such a young age, who probably never thought he would get to have a life outside of Aurora and Octavia, for fear of Octavia getting discovered. Octavia, who knew nobody outside of her brother and mother for what, like 15 years? Who probably thought she’d never get to have a life of her own either? (Ugh, I get so annoyed when I start thinking a little too much about Aurora and the decisions she made. She doomed both her children. I don’t know how she thought either of them, especially Octavia, would ever have normal fulfilling lives. If Octavia hadn’t been sent to the ground, they wouldn’t have.) Yeah, they’ve both lost their way at times, but I LOVE the Blakes (especially the eldest one haha). Season 7 has been pretty good so far, but I somehow became even more aware of just how much Bellamy (and B.ob, because he’s an amazing actor and portrays Bellamy so well B.ob antis DNI!!!! Regardless of what anyone thinks about him as a person, I think he’s a great actor) brings to the show for me with his extremely limited presence so far this season. I really enjoyed 7x11, even if it ended up with my boy being brainwashed. I stood by him even after he wrongfully and stupidly participated in the grounder army massacre, and I’m sure as heck gonna stand by him now too. @clarkegriffinlovebot said they would watch Bellamy Blake watch paint dry for 45 minutes, and I totally agree. (Is it weird that I’m tagging you? I don’t know you and I’ve never interacted with you past liking that post, but I wanted to give you credit haha) The show is just so much better for me when this adorable mythology and history nerd is in it.

2. Nathan Miller

Onto number 2! I chose Miller because although we *unfortunately* haven’t seen much of him or delve into his character that much, I’ve loved all the little bits we’ve gotten to see. He’s just so sassy and snarky, and I love it, in addition to him being loyal (sometimes to a fault) and trustworthy (lmao, that’s funny considering he’s a thief - but I don’t know, in my eyes he’s trustworthy when it counts 😂). I love him, and him hating all the planets they’ve been to is so, so relatable. I would be just entirely done and tired as well. I also really enjoy Millamy and Millarke as brotps (although I don’t think I’d mind if Millamy was a romantic ship haha). There’s quite a few things I would change about this show, but two of the things highest on that list would be 1) making Jarod Joseph part of the main cast so we could properly explore Miller as a character and give him his own full story line(s) and 2) making Miller x Monty canon, even if it was just for a little bit! Marper was cute, and Mackson is alright, but I think these two would have been cuter, and I’m so salty the show didn’t go down that route, especially since both Jarod and Christoper Larkin seemed to be on board.

Also, I really need to learn how to make my own gifs, because I was really hoping to find one with Miller saying “In other words, get the flock out of here!” I actually died during that moment. Maybe someone did make one, but if they did, I didn’t see it. That’s fine, though. I needed motivation to start trying anyways, because its something I’ve always wanted to do.

3. Gabriel Santiago

Everyone else on this list has been on the show since season 1, and I definitely didn’t expect to love a character who was introduced in the penultimate season as much as I love Gabriel. At the end of season 6, I was really hoping they’d keep Gabriel around, so I was super happy to hear they were going to, and I haven’t been disappointed. I love how he literally seems to thirst for knowledge. (I clearly have a thing for attractive, nerdy guys, okay?) I also find it incredibly brave that he pushed so hard for the Primes to stop what they were doing, because he had to know that all of them, including the love of his life, would turn on him. It was obvious that Ryker wasn’t fully okay with what was happening either, but he didn’t do what Gabriel did and fully renounce the practice. He clearly has a pretty strong moral compass, even if he was lead astray from it for awhile. I also really liked seeing him bond with Echo, Hope and Orlando. He’s smart, hot as hell, subtly funny, and not afraid to do what’s right even if that’s gonna end up making the people he cares about mad at him.

4. Monty Green

Monty has been one of my favorites from the jump, and I miss him so much. He’s just so adorable and kind, and literally one of the best people on this show. He suffered through and lost so much, and I wish we could have had more focus on him dealing with those traumas. I hate that we never really got to see how he dealt with what happened at Mount Weather. The focus tends to be mostly on Clarke and Bellamy, but even then mostly Clarke. I think it’s easy to forget that while, yes, they pulled the lever, Monty made pulling that lever possible so he could save his friends. We also don’t really get to see much about him dealing with the trauma of having to kill his own mother, and even Jasper’s suicide was relatively swept under the rug. I mentioned earlier that there’s quite a few things I would change about this show, and when it comes to Monty, I wish we could have seen him process these events and heal. I also think credit for saving the day tends to go to Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia and Raven - but Monty has been instrumental in many instances. Those five, in my opinion make up the core five characters of the show, and honestly, the show hasn’t been the same without Monty. I love Jordan, he’s adorable and genuinely good just like his dad (and mom) but Monty’s part of the soul of the show to me. Also, how cute is it that Monty taught Jordan Korean?!? (I really think Jordan might be onto something about Cadogan and the Disciples interpreting the text incorrectly - so look at that, Monty might indirectly save the day again)

Also, shout out to @thelovelylights for making this gif - it’s one of my favorite moments of Monty, I’ve been following her for a long time, and her blog is amazing.

5. John Murphy

Honestly, I didn’t realize just how much I’d come to like and care about Murphy as a character until this season. I’ve been sooo stressed out watching every single episode he’s been in, worrying that he would end up dying. I’m a sucker for well depicted character growth / redemption arcs, (I mean lol, there’s a reason that some of my favorite characters include Bellamy Blake, Zuko, and Jaime Lannister), and Murphy’s had a great one. He was such a dick in season 1 who, unlike Bellamy - who clearly cared about Octavia at least, really seemed not to care about anyone but himself. It’s been so amazing to see him grow into the person he is now; a person who cares so much about the lives of random people, who was genuinely scared when he realized Madi was in danger, who reassured to her that she was safe and helped calm her down. I really hope the theories about a Memori baby end up becoming canon, because Memori has grown sooo much over the course of this series and they would be absolutely amazing parents.

Honorable mention: Lincoln Kom Trikru

Lincoln was just such a great character. I miss him so much 😭

Tagging @nomattertheoceans and anyone else who sees this and wants to do this!!

#the 100 spoilers #the 100 #top 5 the 100 men #bellamy blake #nathan miller #gabriel santiago #monty green #john murphy #lincoln kom trikru #also just have to mention how large my crush on chuku modu is #being bi is great lol #i'm official bellamy blake trash

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searchingwardrobes · 4 years

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It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a book review on my blog. That’s because I have been spending a lot of time posting them to my professional website. You can find that here along with my TBR list, Currently Reading list, and lists of my favorite books in different genres. ( @xhookswenchx I think you’ll like something on my TBR list 😉) Today’s review isn’t so much a review as a trip down my reading memory lane. A trip that circles back around to discovering a new favorite writer.

Tagging: @snowbellewells @reynoldsreads @whimsicallyenchantedrose @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @nikkiemms @thislassishooked @branlovestowrite @tiganasummertree @xhookswenchx

When I was a teenager and a baby Christian, I first discovered Christian Romance when I read the classic Love Comes Softly by Janette Oke. I went on to devour that entire series along with everything else Oke wrote. Not only did it satisfy my book-obsessed tendencies in a healthy way, it also became a way for my mom and I to bond. We read the The Love Comes Softly series together over the course of a summer, discussing them as we went. She and I went to the local Christian bookstore together to purchase more books by Oke and others. The common thread? All of them were westerns.

I’m not sure if it’s just that my mom and I loved the western setting or if that was the genre most Christian romances were at that time. The two of us did like to watch western shows together - Little House on the Prairie, Young Riders, Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman - but it also seemed like most of the books on the shelves were westerns. We read books about girls who went west on the orphan train, young women who were mail order brides, and women who fell in love with mounties in the Canadian west (yep, those).

To be honest, by the time college rolled around, I was burned out on Christian westerns and stopped reading them. I also went through my “intellectual phase.” I was an English major, thank you very much, and my tastes were meaningful. I roll my eyes at myself now, realizing that I had lost the point of reading - the love of it. My mom gave me Redeeming Love for Christmas my junior year of college, and it sat on my bookshelf for three years or so before I cracked it open. (Silly me!) Like most people, I was blown away by Francine River’s masterpiece, but the fact that it was set in the west didn’t change my mind about western books in general.

Fast forward many years and three kids later. I was on vacation with my extended family, and as usual my Mom, my sister, and I had all brought books with us. My sister’s was Full Steam Ahead by Karen Witemeyer. You know that saying “don’t judge a book by its cover?” Well, I did, okay. It reminded me of those westerns I read as a teenager, and I kind of rolled my eyes at my sister.

“I know it looks cheesy,” she explained hurriedly, “but it’s really good! I’ve read a lot of books by that author, and she’s great.”

A week later, I was shopping at this deep discount store here in my hometown. It’s one of those places where you never know what you’ll find - a Dyson vacuum for a hundred bucks, Christmas Peeps in July for fifty cents, or rain boots for five dollars. One thing they always have is books - especially Christian books. Every time a local Christian bookstore closes, I swear this store gets their inventory. As you can probably imagine, this store’s book section is my weakness.

What do you think I saw sitting right there on the shelf for only $2.99? A Karen Witemeyer book - The Short Straw Bride to be exact. I picked it up and remembered what my sister had said. For only $2.99, it was worth a try, even though the cover still wasn’t my taste.

I devoured it! Couldn’t put it down! I was totally sucked into the lives of the Archer brothers and their ranch. I loved it so much I took a picture of the book and raved about it on Facebook. I swallowed my pride and borrowed Full Steam Ahead from my sister. I was thrilled to discover that there was either a book or novella on every single one of the Archer brothers. The library had most of Witemeyer’s books, and soon I had read everything she had written. At this point, I am a bonafide fan. There isn’t anything she’s put out that I haven’t read, and currently my Kindle wish list includes her next book that hasn’t come out yet : At Love’s Command.

It’s interesting how things have come full circle. As a baby Christian, Oke’s books were like water in the desert. Now Witemeyer similarly quenches the storytelling thirst of this SAHM mom/amateur writer.

And I guess I’m always a sucker for a western!

#melanie reads #book review #westerns #christian westerns #karen witemeyer #favorite authors

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sanguinespire · 4 years

Text

Author Interview

Tagged by @swaps55 Thanks for thinking of me <3 Name: Spire/wRexident Fandom: Mass Effect (so far I think its the only one I’ve been smitten enough to write on) Where You Post: Tumblr| Ao3 Most Popular One-Shot: Don’t really do One-Shots. Or I haven’t yet. Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: The Virmire-Victim AU: Kaidan It has the most hits according to Ao3. It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything aside from flash fics and snippets. Favorite Story I’ve Written: It’s not one I’ve written alone. @oneiricjourney and I have conspired some off branch set of stories of our Shepards in various AUs and TLs. I gotta’ say probably the second one we ever conceived was the most heartbreaking and crazy. It’s called “Enough”. (Incoming rant)

The story starts at meeting at the Villa for N-School training. Iskandar Shepard (her “Shepard”) is the biotic. Antoni Valenza (my “Shepard”) is the soldier. Toni being the foot-in-mouth “tough” guy falls slowly in love with Iskandar, who is basically the nerdy stereotype and is a by-the-book kind of guy. They learn a lot from each other, and through a lot of grievance and hardship (sometimes due to Toni’s cavalier attitude) graduate the N7 program together. But at graduation, Toni cracks a joke about Iskandar’s name (shortened to Isk, or Ishq in Hindi which means love). He infamously says, “I plan to do a lot of worshipping later”. (Boy was talking about getting down on his knees...) This doesn’t settle well with Iskandar. He feels betrayed by Toni’s lust for him and without notice to Toni, proceeds with plans to advance his career, completely cutting Toni off in the process. Their paths split. Indefinitely. Every day, Toni blames himself for the loss of his best friend. Later, he watches as Iskandar become the Hero of Elysium. Iska is conflicted about receiving recognition as his father, Dariush Shepard, died on Elysium, giving his life to protect his only son. This drives him to be better, do more, to outgrow the shadow of his father’s expectations he feels are weighing on him. Then a year later, Toni is forced to reckon with losing his entire unit on Akuze. He goes through therapy without any support from the outside as he has no living family and grew up an orphan on Earth. It’s a 7 year gap between the time they graduate N7 School and meeting again on the Normandy, where Iskandar Shepard is assigned command. And the divide is deeper than ever. Toni has no idea how to react to seeing the new Iskandar. But the time they share on the Normandy is strained, not only by the length of time allowed, but by strong emotions. Toni had thought he had rid himself of them, but slowly he finds himself falling back into old habits and feelings with Iskandar, who is now his C.O. and irritated by Toni’s old cavalier self. So instead, he befriends Kaidan Alenko, which doesn’t play to Toni’s interests at all. And gradually Iskandar and Kaidan fall in love. Who dies on Virmire? Toni sacrifices himself to save Kaidan but luckily nor him or Kirrahe actually bite the bullet. (Don’t worry. No one is sacked in that mission.) It goes on... into ME2, where Kaidan and Toni both serve in SpecOps together, and meet Iskandar after the Horizon battle. There Kaidan leaves, saying he’ll never serve Cerberus. Toni, however, sacrifices his career to follow Iskandar. And thus their problems start anew with a heartbroken, devastated Iskandar and Toni trying to put him back together. They share a bed but never their feelings. Toni realizes he’s no replacement for Kaidan, nor will he ever have Iskandar’s true affections, and gives into the depression and doubt. (Shenanigans happen in the space between ME2 and ME3. They’re both court-martialed for betraying the Alliance.) And into ME3... Iskandar is faced with nearly losing Kaidan. Then he has a revelation that he’s developed feelings for Toni and has drifted away from K. Iskandar and Toni end up getting married pretty close to the end of ME3. And then Iskandar sacrifices himself and Toni loses him all over again. So much is lost in detail writing it out like this... We’ve run several AUs/TLs. There’s a few they end up in a poly-amorous relationship with Kaidan. I think we’ve run every cliche AU you can think of including, “One Bed”, “Roommates”, and “Fake Dating”. There’s also a few HS AUs. Toni also has a kid and goes on to have more kids with Iskandar, Azadi, and Bashir. We have a blog dedicated to all this and probably somewhere in 70 fics or so. Plus, endless chat logs. Maybe one day we’ll get around to posting Enough. But @oneiricjourney is pretty busy with her thesis work and life and writing a huge project in her free time based on these two numbskulls.

Story you were nervous to post: It’s Okay It’s Shaeed, first person. It started as a drabble and then leapt into more. I dropped the ball on the last chapter containing the smut. I still think about re-writing it. I may do that soon, actually. How you choose your titles: Oh boy. Sometimes, they just pop out of the work. Sometimes, they’re symbolic of something. Sometimes, they’re just the descriptor. I do try to be clever sometimes and make it tie in. Complete/Incomplete: Let’s not talk about it. I have more incomplete, unfinished business in my head than I ever intended. And that includes one set of fics owed to Viktorya Shepard, and several more owed to Antoni Shepard, and several thousand more owed toward Iskandar/Toni. I might have completed 2 things I ever set out to do. Do you outline?: Not usually. Before I write, I have a thought, a feeling, something that hooks me to the words. Either they flow or don’t. But if they don’t and I can’t write it out like I want, I’ll leave an outline, with plenty of notes for guidance. Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: See the Complete/Incomplete List above. Upcoming Story I’m excited to write: Right now, I’m trying to work through some other fics so I can get to write about Marie, Antoni’s mom, who disappeared back on Earth. In his canon story, she shows up in ME3 in unexpected company. And her story is a wild one. I’d like to tag people but I be forgetting who all is writing what. If you want to do this, tag me and I’ll be glad to read and support your fics.

#ask game #mass effect fanfiction #long post

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let-it-raines · 5 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (5/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/N: It’s been a day, my friends, and when it’s been a day I like to give you guys chapters earlier than I expected. But also because I’m sitting on chapters and want to get to the good stuff! Our favorite duo really start to interact from now on, so the slow burn you guys are feeling is speeding up!!!

As always, thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke❤️

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Tag list: @royalswan @shey-starsfury @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @snowbellewells @karenfrommisthaven @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @emmas-storybook @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera@jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @galaxyzxstark @qualitycoffeethings @thejollyroger-writer

-/-

“How hot is it in Texas right now?”

“Hotter than here, but not all that bad. Seventies, I think.”

“Well, that’s probably because that weird heat wave is over, and it’s back to being fifty degrees outside.”

“True,” Ruby sighs, pulling a dress out of Emma’s closet. “You should wear this dress. It makes your ass look fantastic.”

“No one sees my ass.” She walks over to Ruby and grabs the red dress anyways, folding it up since she knows that it won’t wrinkle. She pulls up the weather app on her phone, scrolling through the thirty cities she has saved, and finds the week’s forecast for Houston, seeing that the high is indeed mostly going to be mid-seventies. That’s good. That’s far better than it is when they have to travel during the summer. “Should I bring heels or embrace flats for the week?”

“Bring your nude pair.” Ruby chunks them at the bed, about two feet away from taking Emma’s eye out. “Oh, and the turquoise if you’re going to wear that green pencil skirt.”

“You just want to borrow them if we go out, don’t you?”

Ruby pulls her turquoise pumps out of her closet, which really needs to be organized but that’s a story for another time, and tosses them on the bed before she grabs several more shirts and pants for Emma. “You know me so well, even if we mostly go out in Texas simply to eat their food.”

“Ugh,” she groans just thinking about it. “If we’re going to do that, I need to bring looser clothing. I don’t want everyone to think I’m pregnant when it’s just a food baby.”

“I bet you everyone would think it’s Jones’s baby.”

Her eyes cut over to Ruby as she picks up her turquoise heels and places them on her striped chair. How can someone be both the worst and the best friend? “For that, I’m not bringing these heels.”

“You’re evil.”

“You shouldn’t be mean to me if you want to borrow my shoes.”

“Being mean is kind of in her wheelhouse,” Graham adds in as he pokes his head through her bedroom door, eyes glancing over the mess that’s currently happening. He’s totally judging. “Do you two realize that your flight is at six in the morning, and you’re up at two in the morning packing?”

“Do you realize that it’s two in the morning, and you have to take us to the airport at four?” Graham rolls his eyes before Ruby walks toward him and presses up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck and slide her lips over his. “Thank you for doing that, by the way.”

He presses down to kiss her once more. “You’re going to be gone for three days. I’m going to miss you.”

“Cheesy,” Emma grumbles, tossing a rolled-up sock at the back of Ruby’s head. They’ve really got to stop throwing clothes. She’s never going to be able to find anything. “Can’t you two go make out in your room or something?”

“I kind of like that idea.”

“Me too. Ems, pack the damn turquoise shoes and some spanx so that you can eat and people won’t think you’re having Jones’s baby.”

“Wait, what?” Graham mutters. “You’re having Jones’s baby?”

“No one is having anyone’s baby, and it better stay that way. Use protection.”

“Pack the shoes.”

“I still don’t understand what’s going on.”

“You’re not supposed to, babe,” Ruby laughs, backing Graham out of the room and pulling Emma’s door shut behind her.

Those two are ridiculous, and if she didn’t love them so much, living with them would be nearly impossible. Seriously.

Emma gets an hour of sleep after she finishes packing (thanks late night games and early morning flights), and she’s basically a zombie as she and Ruby load into the back of Graham’s squad car as he drives them to JFK. She knows that it takes awhile to get there, but she’s pretty sure that she slept the whole time because before she even realizes it, she and Ruby are checking into their flight at the kiosk and going through security. It’s the emptiest she’s ever seen the place, and she would know. She spends far too much time in airports for her job.

When the team travels, she travels. Most of the time. Some trips she doesn’t work, and it’s glorious.

It used to not be that way. She’d only travel for the games that were actually shown on ESPN or sometimes Fox, but now that ESPN has an entire online streaming service, she’s traveling nine games out of ten and working all home games. It’s exhausting, to a point, but she has a hell of a lot of travel miles and rewards programs that she gets to keep even though the network pays for her flights and hotels. Sometimes that means she gets six am flights when she doesn’t have to be in Houston until seven in the evening, but it’s not always that bad.

And one day she’s going to use those points to travel to Italy or something.

Pasta would be really good right now.

So would coffee, but if she has coffee, she won’t sleep on the plane. And sleeping on the plane is kind of important if she wants to not look like a zombie tonight. Her face may look like a zombie, but at least her ass will look great.

She doesn’t want anyone to comment on the state of her ass. She’s the only one allowed to do that.

Okay, she’s lost her mind.

-/-

The Yankees win their sixth game of the season that night.

She eats the best barbecue sandwich she’s ever had, and a clip of her eating ends up on Sports Center.

Sometimes she wonders if people actually watch baseball for the game or if they simply watch because there’s always something weird going on in the crowd.

The sandwich was worth it.

-/-

Emma’s feet hit against the treadmill as Queen blares in her headphones and a tennis match in Monte Carlo plays on the television in front of her, Rafael Nadal sliding back and forth on the clay as he absolutely dominates his opponent. If every athlete was as good as Rafa is on clay, they’d all be dominant, but that’s likely a story for another day.

She’s got twenty-three minutes left on her run, especially since she’s going at a slow pace with a slight incline, but she can already feel the incline starting to kill her, her calves burning the slightest bit with each step that she takes. Her face is red, her hairline slicked back with sweat, and she can already tell that getting her sports bra off is going to be an impossible task. She gets that it’s for the support and all, but there should really be an easier way for her to free her boobs from their confines.

Free the boob.

Unless she’s running or walking down stairs or doing anything more than some light walking.

Her phone buzzes on the machine, and the man on the treadmill looks over at her like he’s annoyed by the fact that her phone made some kind of noise. It’s not her fault that he didn’t bring any headphones, and really, if he’s so bothered by her, he can move two treadmills down. This hotel gym is plenty big enough.

Ruth: I saw you eating a sandwich on TV last night! That’s too funny!

Ruth: I hope you’re having fun!

Ruth: I miss you, sweetie!!!

For Ruth to be sixty-five, she has a fantastic grip on technology. She knows that it’s because she and David have taught her how to text and find clips of their segments and articles online, but still. She knows how to use emojis and gifs and even has an Instagram, which is only slightly terrifying most of the time. But she knows it’s simply to keep up with she and David’s lives since they don’t always tell her everything.

Okay, that’s mostly her.

But David has a much better relationship with Ruth, which makes sense considering she’s his mother. She’s Emma’s…quasi mother. She’s never been too sure how to go about it. Calling David her brother is much easier than calling Ruth her mom, and she knows it’s because the word mom has more heavy meaning behind it.

Emma: It was a good sandwich! Only a little time for fun since I’m here for work. I miss you too!

Ruth: There’s always time for fun!

Ruth: David and MM are driving up to visit me next weekend for the holidays. Are you coming too?

Emma: I don’t get vacation days like David does, so I’ll be in LA. I wish I could.

Her music stops between songs, and she hears the roar of the crowd on the television, seeing that the match just ended, and her treadmill starts to slow down, the time ticking down past five minutes so that it’s time for her to cool down with a slow walk while she keeps texting Ruth about the fact that she’s working over Easter weekend. She pretty much doesn’t have days off, except for days the team has off, until the season is over in October. Or early November. It depends. And then she’s back working in the office writing articles and doing prep work and occasionally having to suffer through covering basketball.

Bills must be paid, but at what cost to her having to listen to sneakers squeaking?

Ruth never seems to understand that because she thinks that she and David have the same job even though David has never once been on camera. He’s behind the scenes all the way.

When her treadmill time officially runs out, she steps off and gathers her things before finding a towel to wipe down the handles from where she touched them. Angry man is still eyeing her as she cleans up, and she seriously hopes that he is not going to be there tomorrow.

If he is, maybe he’ll be happier.

She doubts it.

He seems to just be one of those people who is particularly unpleasant all the time.

Sweat sticks to her skin as she walks through the hotel hallways, casually airing out her tank top and wiping sweat back into her hair to get it off of her face, and she very nearly walks up the stairs to go back to she and Ruby’s room when she sees people milling around the dining room with breakfast on their plates.

Breakfast would be good.

Mostly water. And coffee. She’s not entirely sure if she’s recovered from her lack of sleep yesterday, which made her question her sanity when her alarm went off for the gym this morning, but she knew if she didn’t work out then, she wouldn’t work out at all. And she needs that push of adrenaline and endorphins.

Grabbing a plate from the buffet line, she walks through and fills her plate with fruit and scrambled eggs, even if she knows they’re from a bag and not a shell, and a half of a waffle from the waffle maker. She always loves when they have those at hotels. Good continental breakfasts are her jam…especially if they have jam.

“Got enough toppings there?”

Emma nearly drops her plate when she hears his voice, and when she twists her head to the side, she sees Killian Jones standing next to her, his own plate full of food in his hand. Seriously. Why is she always running into him when she’s eating?

And sweaty.

“Not enough if you ask me.”

He adjusts his hat, a Vanderbilt one that is very obviously a decade old. “I was asking you.”

“I like toppings,” she sighs, putting some more fruit onto her waffle before grabbing the whipped cream can and spraying some of it onto her food. Her workout is yelling at her for this. “What’s the point of a waffle if you’re not going to load it down with toppings?”

“I’m more of a pancake man myself.” He reaches into the buffet and grabs a yogurt, which is definitely not a waffle or pancake. “But considering I’m playing tonight, I’m supposed to be watching what I eat.”

“You have an entire plate of eggs.”

“Protein, Swan, protein. You would know all about that with all that barbecue you ate last night.”

Just let her sink into a hole right now and never come back up. The internet is ruining her life.

“Weren’t you supposed to be tracking Roseman’s pitches last night or something?”

She turns on her heel and walks away from the buffet to a table, knowing that Killian is walking behind her. They have the weirdest relationship. It doesn’t even feel right to call it that, but they’re somewhere between a working relationship and reluctant friends, and the fact that he’s placing his plate down on the table across from hers makes her lean more toward reluctant friends who see each other occasionally enough to have a bit of a rapport.

Her life gets weirder every day.

Killian Jones has one brave set of balls.

Baseball, testicles, whatever. Both work. At least, she thinks.

“You can eat right after you work out?” he questions, twisting the knob on one coffee machine while she does it with the other, the promise of caffeine already invigorating her.

“How do you know I was working out?”

He raises a brow before his eyes look over her, lingering a second too long at her breasts, before a slow smile creeps from one side of his lips to another that has her stomach twisting inside. “Well, it’s not because of your outfit. People dress more like they’re working out when they’re not every day, but the sweat still soaked into your clothes and in your hair are kind of a dead giveaway. Your face is flushed as well.”

“Observant.”

“I try, but it’s easy when you’re an open book.”

Totally not acknowledging that one.

She twists the knob on the machine and reaches over for the hazelnut creamer while Killian simply puts the top on his. He drinks black coffee? That’s disgusting. “Black coffee? Do you not have taste buds?”

He shrugs. “I don’t like to drink my calories. You want a water?”

She nods her head, and he grabs two bottles before following her to sit back down at her booth like it’s totally normal for them to be sharing a meal together. They’ve done it before, but that’s because she was working with him. It was not because they’re staying at the same hotel and happened to run into each other at the buffet.

Weird.

But she’s not about to be bitchy and ask him to leave when she has no reason to other than her own reluctance to talk to people before noon.

They sit in semi-awkward silence as they work through their plates. She definitely overloaded her waffle, but she would never admit that after earlier. That would be admitting defeat, and she doesn’t take too kindly to admitting defeat. Killian eats at lightning speed, scarfing down eggs and sausage, his yogurt untouched, and she wonders what it must be like to be a professional athlete and eat more than the average human being, even if it’s not all good food like pizza and onion rings and loaded down waffles filled with chocolate chips.

Her phone buzzes on the table, and she leans over to read the text from Ruth still trying to convince her to come home for the weekend when she’s already explained that she cannot.

“Boyfriend?”

“Huh?” she hums, texting a message before looking up and seeing Killian staring down at her, his eyes shaded under his cap. She’s so distracted by the fact that he asked her if she was talking to her boyfriend that she doesn’t pay attention to her answer. “Oh, no boyfriend. It’s my…um, quasi mom.”

“Quasi mom?”

Shit. She should have just said Mom. Maybe she’s a little flustered by all of this.

“She was my foster mom,” Emma explains, stuffing some eggs into her own mouth to give her some more time to talk, “when I was a teenager, but we’re still in touch because her son, David, is kind of like this big brother to me. I work with him and am close to his wife and kid and all.”

That was word vomit that she should not have shared. That is not information that she should just give out, and yet here she is. Obviously, all of the blood hasn’t returned to her brain since her run. Hopefully it’ll all come back soon so she can stop looking like an idiot with a messed up past who shares too much at a breakfast.

“David Nolan, right?”

“Y-yeah. How do you know that?”

He shrugs his right shoulder before taking another forkful of eggs, chewing and smiling in a way that reminds her of that scene in Thor where Chris Hemsworth is in the diner and throws the mug down asking for another one. Why the hell did they dye his eyebrows and his beard in that movie? That was a mistake.

“Ariel, my manager, is super hands on with me. She’s talkative, like extremely, and she shares all kinds of information that I never need to know. So, I’ve heard a bunch of random shit that I literally never need to know about. David sends her a hell of a lot of emails that I get forwarded.”

“So, do you just know my entire life story then?”

“If you’re entire life story involves you liking pretzels and waffles, and being asked out by a jackass on live television, then yeah.”

She barks out a laugh, her lips curving upward, and reaches down to take a sip of her coffee. “I mean, that’s it. There’s nothing else to know about me.”

“You sure about that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

The smile on his lips fall into a straight line, his gaze intense, and he lifts the bill of his hat up before adjusting it back down. “Perhaps I would.”

“So, nosy,” she starts, still a little annoyed that he asked if she had a boyfriend and most definitely trying to lighten the conversation up again, “I’m going to be very self-indulgent and ask if you liked your segment. I want a more truthful answer than the one I got in the hallway.”

His lips curve up, pretty much taking up his entire face, and she can see the crinkle of his eyes as his long lashes land on his cheeks before opening back up to show his baby blues. Damn his eyes are blue. How is that even possible? Maybe they’re contacts or something.

No, that would be ridiculous.

“I freaking loved it. I mean, it was great. It was so simple, you know? You didn’t try to create some other angle, didn’t try to paint me as anything other than a normal guy. I really appreciate that. You have no idea,” he chuckles, reaching up to scratch beneath his ear. Is he nervous? Why the hell is he nervous? “I saw afterward, your cohost, he was a bit of a dick, wasn’t he? I know we talked about it a bit, but it seems like you just…well, it seems like the shit show is never ending for you.”

That is – that is not what she was expecting at all. She figured his apology was a one and done and that she’d never hear about it again.

“With my friends,” she starts, tapping her nail against the table, “I don’t mind. It’s funny. It’s something we can joke about, that I, myself, joke about, but when it happens in my professional life, it pisses me off. So many men have seen me as a joke in the past, have tried to tear me down that way, and it’s not something I like having to deal with now. I mean, it’s not like I can go off on them. That’s a great way for me to lose my job because I’m no longer,” she holds her fingers up and does air quotes, “likable.”

Killian lets out a low whistle as her heart hammers in her chest, her annoyance at this whole thing making her cheeks heat. It’s all so dumb, and really, she should hate him for it. She doesn’t though. She’s not always his biggest fan, but he apologized and obviously feels actual remorse. How was he supposed to know it would be like this?

And if she knows all of this to be true, why does she still get slightly irked by him sometimes?

Is that just because she’s so damn stubborn herself?

“Is there anything I can do to make it better for you? I mean, I put you into this situation. The very least I can do is try to get you out of it.”

“Nah, there’s nothing you can do more than treat me like a professional and go on as if you didn’t make an ass out of the both of us with millions of people watching.”

“I think I can do that. However I can’t promise not to keep making an ass out of myself though. My brother tells me it’s my natural state of being.”

“Your brother sounds like a smart man.”

“He likes to think so. His patients sure as hell hopes that he is.”

“I mean, I would hope so. Does he get to come to a lot of games?”

“He and Elsa and the girls try to make it to some of them, but it usually depends on if Liam is on call or if the game is too late, so it interferes with the girls’ bedtimes and school. But no matter what I always have a string of texts waiting for me afterwards.”

“They sound great. Your nieces are so cute. Like, adorable. When you posted that photo of the two of them wearing your jersey, my heart melted. That was cute, twenty-nine.”

“Twenty-nine?”

“Your number,” she says slowly, looking him over.

“Aye, I know. It’s just that I’m not used to being called that.”

“Oh, sorry.” She covers her mouth and takes a sip of her coffee. She’s never going to finish her food if they keep talking like this. “I call most of you guys by your numbers half the time. It’s faster, sometimes, for our stat-keepers. It’s a force of habit from back before the Yankees had names on their jerseys.”

“I like it,” he smiles. “You ever play any sports?”

“Nothing official. Why?”

“Just looking to see if you have a number I can call you, love.”

“Ooh, for a second I thought you were going to ask for my number, so that was a nice save.”

“Well, I mean, I could,” he shrugs, flashing that winning smile again.

“Not going to happen, twenty-nine.”

“Damn, I thought I’d stumbled myself into something. I guess that’s strike two for me.”

“Do you always speak in baseball puns?”

“Says the woman who made a joke about oral sex using a baseball pun.”

“Never claimed that I didn’t use them. I’m a fan of a good pun. If you can make it a clever innuendo, all the better.”

“I do love a good innuendo.”

“Yeah, I can tell with the whole tall, dark, and broody thing that you’ve got going on half the time before you whip out a smirk and do that thing with your eyebrows.”

“Why, Swan,” he sighs, waggling those damn eyebrows, “have you been watching me?”

“It’s literally my job.” He does his eyebrows again, and she flicks an apple chunk at him. “Shut it, twenty-nine.”

They sit in the booth and talk, the both of them going through two cups of coffee, before Killian gets a call that he needs to be on the bus to Minute Maid Park, which they both agree is an awful name for a stadium. It’s on the tip of her tongue to start naming off other awful names and major sponsors, but she doesn’t, holding that back as he gathers their plates and walks over to put them all in the bin, his mind seemingly having switched from casual conversation to baseball. She wonders how often he does something like that, just turning everything off to focus on his job.

She can do the same.

“So, Swan,” he sighs as they both walk toward the lobby, Killian to get on the bus and for her to walk toward the elevators, “you going to be around to interview me tonight when I walk off the field?”

“Only if my producer thinks that we need an interview from you.”

“Does this mean I need to play a damn good game?”

“Or a really bad one.”

“I’ll try for one of those.”

“Okay,” she laughs, backing away from him as she sees Scarlet and Fisher walk down into the lobby, “break a leg then.”

He raises a brow. “I’m not sure if that works in sports.”

“Guess you’ll be the first to try it out.”

Emma raises her hand to wave to him, before turning on her heel and walking toward the elevator, her mind trying to piece together all of the elements of her morning while her heart keeps beating like she’s still on the treadmill and not like she’s been sitting in a booth eating for the past two hours.

What the hell just happened?

When she gets back to her room, she quietly opens the door, not knowing if Ruby is awake or not yet, but as soon as she’s inside the room she sees Ruby sitting on the floor with her laptop in front of her with some kind of hair tutorial video on the screen. And whatever it is, Ruby is not succeeding at it, which is pretty much an impossibility with how good Ruby is with hair.

“What’d you do? Run to Manhattan and back? You’ve been gone for forever.”

Putting her phone and hotel key down on the dresser, she slides down onto the floor to sit with Ruby. Her legs are starting to ache, and she desperately needs a shower. She got a look at herself in the mirror in the elevator, and damn does she look rough.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Well, I woke up when you got up because you’re not quiet,” she huffs, tugging at her braid, “and then I woke up an hour ago. You’ve been gone for, like, three hours.”

“I spent a long time at the gym.” That’s not a lie, not really, but it’s not exactly the full truth. She’s not sure why she’s not being honest with Ruby, but it’s…it’s just what her brain has apparently decided on. That breakfast didn’t mean anything, right? So why would she hide it? Probably so no more jokes will be made about them. Yeah, that’s it. That has to be it. “And then I ate breakfast.”

“And you didn’t bring me anything?”

“Not supposed to take the food out of the restaurant area.”

“You could have stolen a banana.”

“Sorry?”

Ruby groans, twists her hair into another braid as the video ends, and then closes her laptop before looking at her, her eyes scanning over her outfit. “Let’s go get something from a café or something. What was that place we went to last time we were here?”

“Snooze, maybe?”

“Yes,” she hums, falling back against the floor before she very obviously remembers her slightly okay braided hair, “let’s go there.”

“I just ate, Rubes.”

“You can keep me company while I eat, and then we’ll go shopping before we have to come back and get ready for work.”

“Can I at least take a shower first?”

“I would prefer if you didn’t smell, so yeah.”

Emma reaches forward and slaps Ruby’s shoulder before getting up. “You’re the worst.”

“But I’m your best friend.”

“Unfortunately.”

“No, very fortunately.”

“Will you do my hair for tonight’s game?” she asks as she strips out of her tank top, sweat having practically dried it to her skin.

“If you let me wear your turquoise pumps.”

“You were going to wear them anyways.”

“Semantics.” Ruby waves her away. “Go take a shower. I’m starving, and I will absolutely perish if I don’t have food in my stomach in the next hour.”

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan #captain swan fic

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marblehornets52 · 4 years

Text

I may as well post this just to get this off my chest, but I doubt anyone would have the time to actually want to care about this.

In my old blog, @rynxs-blog, literally you can't miss the description. I have autism/asperger's. While it's not so bad, I'm just making this post because, I guess I just want it out of my head.

Maybe 6th grade or so, I guess, my ex, was supposedly stalking me and it took until 7th grade for anything to happen. 7th grade (she was in 8th grade btw so one year ahead of me, keep that in mind) we started dating. I will admit, I was a little shithead back then [as in, VERY CRINGE FUELED] so with that being said, I didn't want to acknowledge my autism or my problems back then. I was 50% extrovert and 50% introvert.

I, however, never told anyone about the autism because it felt more of a insecure thing. No one back then, as far as I saw, in the middle school, had autism. Few years later I come to realize they were just hidden among the crowd. But that's not exactly what this is about.

Back then, I was a shithead. Never did my work yet somehow managed to go past both 7th and 8th grade. I still remember that the main reason was because when I was moving into 8th grade, my ex went to high school.

Now you might be wondering "so what's the big deal? You still like her or something?"

That was the answer back then, and honestly I don't know why I decided to go on ahead and reach out to her to see if she remembers.

Another question that might pop up "Besides the age difference, why couldn't you just see her normally?" or even "Why are you making that relationship such a big deal right now?"

1. My mom is [somewhat] a hardcore Christian and when I told her about the relationship, she kinda went haywire about it, specifically how it's against God commandments or whatever the fuck she told me. Even though she said she didn't mind people being gay yet when I come up with it "ThAt'S nOt ChRiStIaN lIkE." Also if your wondering about the dad, he's a marine, he would've killed me back then if he realized I was dating before the age of 18.

2. Because I was so stupid back then, we used to have wattpad [she deleted it] and I made a new account and started talking to her there. But I didn't reveal it was me until after. But what made me start to have more problems [that's gonna come in soon] is that she literally told me that she didn't even remember me. I could've just left it off as her moving on, I could've left it with me just a unimportant person in people's lives...but I just decided to remind her of everything and sooner or later, after 8th grade, I finally made it.

I told my friend group that I didn't want them to follow me when I am with my ex. Not because I was selfish but because she was going to introduce me to people I never met [who ended up turning up with vapes and soon smoking (I never smoked.)]

She had me so isolated from literally everyone I knew, just staying in one specific area of the school. If I tried to leave, she would chase after me and drag me back. I (still being a idiot) thought it was cute so I did that for awhile. Though it changed when my friends came along.

When they saw me hanging out with my ex, they came to the group. At the time I didn't mind since they gotten along with everyone till they decided to start vaping.

[Side note: While that was happening I got a betta fish named Ninja; I rescued him from a shitty pet shop and I did so much for him. I miss him greatly now, he has indeed passed away and he does contribute to the story.]

So with that being said, when I was in Sophomore year, I started sensing stuff being off. I wasn't allowed to leave anywhere without permission, if I was watching a video and just randomly smiled or giggle I would have to show my ex what I was seeing; otherwise she would force the phone out of my hand to see for herself, I told her about my autism and yet she still didn't even mind to acknowledge it and just blatantly forget it until I remind her again. She wouldn't let me go interact with everyone else, always trying to give me so much affection to the point where it was just a blank feeling. Whenever I would cry or whatnot, there was nothing she would do except just ask this "Stop crying please" + "Not even for me?" If I didn't give her a response. [Btw, if you ever tell me "Not even for me?" Go fuck yourself. (Sounds harsh but at that point I don't want to keep all of this in mind forever.) But the worst is when I told her about my insecurities. I told her most of it, opening up a bit more. My major one [which is still going on] is my weight.

The school has this BMI chart or whatnot and freshman year I was almost considered overweight instead of healthy. So I told her not I didn't feel comfortable with my own body. I still remember back then, she would pinch my body fat and always tease about it. I would just play the happy little partner and try not to take notice of it.

Though when Ninja passed away, I went through the biggest depression era in my life. I at that point, started to hide in my classrooms. I refused to go out because I didn't want to let anyone see how much of a mess I was. I remembered people thought I must've came back from a funeral or something.

I remembered back then, I wanted to end my own life, simply because [besides depression from the death of Ninja] I thought no one would care about my existence, that no one would notice me missing. But I guess overtime, I started to think back of all the stuff I been through in the relationship and compared it to how it was to my own friend.

[If you are gonna tell me "But it's just a fish, why don't you move on?" I literally told Ninja everything, from insecurities, to frustrations, to ideas. He was a better friend than many people I knew because he would do his best to support me even on his dying breath. Just ti get me better.]

So with that being said, one of my friends [who is not vaping anymore if I can recall] came up to me all pissed off. She told me that my ex had been bawling out her eyes because she assumed I didn't love her anymore. [Yes, me being away, 2 weeks inside classrooms for brunch and lunch, meant I didn't love her anymore.]

So I guess I told her everything (this was in history class btw, not exactly important but most history classes here are like fucking libraries, dead silent so whispering was just considered a regular talking voice.) I accidentally said everything out to the rest of my classmates too and honestly, I was surprised they were shocked. But I guess because I played the "happy life girlfriend" person, that there was nothing wrong with me.

[Another side note: I was in ROTC, and they did this thing called inspections. You wear the uniform you were given (usually utilities) and you wear it the whole day until you go home. Usually on Thursdays unless something happens. But the biggest rules are 1. No boyfriends or girlfriends kissing or hugging and 2. No one is allowed to touch you.]

So with that being said, when I told my friend that I was planning to break up she told me to time it right. So as you could guess, I did it wearing utilities, I told her that I was going to cut off the relationship and I was gonna give her back her stuff.

What I didn't specify was that I broke it off because I didn't want her to feel or even deal with all my emotional problems I had. So I told myself, after 2 years, from that day on, I was not going to let anyone be with me, I wanted to let myself mature more and just not fuck up on another relationship so quick when I'm a emotional wreck.

I thought she would've done the same thing. I thought "Maybe she would take a year or so to move on, maybe see all the mistakes and move on?" Just only to find out 2 months later, her and my best cadet friend were dating.

So, I want to say that, yes, I'm happy for her I guess...made such a fast recovery or whatnot. But it felt like a big ol FUCK YOU to me, mostly because it just confirmed one of my insecurities I told her "I don't want to be forgotten, I don't want to be forgotten by everyone." Yet it already seemed bad enough that because she pulled me away from everyone, no one really cared about my existence, they wouldn't notice if I was missing, and that I really was the biggest mistake in everyone's lives. Even you, the person reading this, may as well scroll past this and not give a shit.

But if you want my honest opinion, I wanted to just tell my friend to not make the same fucking mistakes like me.

My insecurities have not been recovered, only worsen. My birthday was not too long ago, 2 days ago actually, and I honestly thought about ending it then and there.

If anyone just wants to talk to me or whatnot, not by trying to support me because of this post but because I guess there is something more to it, go ahead.

If you want to go ahead and talk to me, either to check up on me, that's fine.

But if people would just listen to everything I have, even the dark moments I...ah..

...Thank you.

I'm sorry that you just hate me more now, and I'm sorry I cause so much trouble just for this.

I just wanted people to know how I was doing I guess...so....

How was your day?

#Most likely chance you're gonna scroll past this post #I don't blame you #I don't blame the people in this story here mentioned either #Also if you scrolled past the reblog version #Aha #you got too see this shit again

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puckyou-forpuckssake · 5 years

Text

Drowning (2)—S. Crosby

Warning: two sentences implying an abusive relationship. Don’t worry, it’s just the neighbors. I’m so happy you guys love this series. I’m really excited for it! Check out my other imagines and master list on my blog with #hockeyimagine. This series and all questions and statements about it can be found under #drowningsc.

Sidney hadn’t had the time to look to see if Y/N and Andy were in the box. Zach had assured him that they were coming. He was still obviously suspicious of Sidney and the whole situation. He had every right to be. That was his family.

They won 4-3 against the Rangers in overtime. Sid barely listened as Sully congratulated and berated the team and then instructed Olli, Murray, and Horny to do media. He rushed to put on his suit.

“Hey did you wanna go out with us tonight for drinks?” Kris asked Sid. “Cullen is the only one out so far.”

Sid shook his head. If this night was going to go how he hoped, he’d be out eating in a quaint diner in an hour with a beautiful woman and her son. Not that it was a date or anything, he reminded himself. He was merely treating a lovely family to a nice night that they deserved. That’s it. No romance involved at all.

“I have plans.”

“Involve pretty woman and small boy?” Geno grinned. Kris looked intrigued.

Zach patted Sid on the shoulder. “I’m going out with the guys. Walk them up to the apartment. Tell Y/N not to wait up for me. I might end up staying with Olli tonight depending on how many drinks we have. Make sure she locks the door too. Just because I have some money still doesn’t mean we live in the greatest area of Pittsburgh.”

Sid understood then. “You have plenty of money to get a nice place for yourself, and even them. You live with them to try to help but she doesn’t like charity.”

Zach nodded. “I know you like Andy and genuinely want to spend time with him because he’s a good kid. She still believes that you are on charity mode,” he explained. “You’re right, she doesn’t like charity or pity, especially when it involves Andy. That kid is her life. ‘The best accident in my life’ she says. She won’t warm up to you until she realizes a you’re there for him as a kid and for her as a woman of interest.”

Sidney wanted to speak up about that last part and argue, especially under the watching eyes and listening ears of teammates. “Don’t even deny it, Sid,” Zach interrupted. “Just don’t make me regret this.”

Zach walked out of locker room with some of the guys, leaving him, Evgeni, and Kris alone. “What am I missing?” Kris asked.

“Sid in love,” Geno told him.

Sid shook his head. “I’m not in love.”

“ZAR disagrees,” both countered.

“I explain later,” Geno whispers to Kris.

Kris nodded. “The 3 of us are going out tomorrow night in Boston to talk about this,” he informed Sidney. “You’re going to tell us about tonight. You’re going to explain all of this to us. Got it, Sid?”

Sidney nodded. “See you guys in the morning for the flight. Enjoy tonight.”

Sidney grabbed his bags and walked towards the exit. He stopped right before pushing the door open. Nerves rushed over him. He wouldn’t normally be doing this. He wouldn’t probably go to these extremes for another teammate’s family. Okay, so that thought was wrong and he probably would, but without the feelings he has right now. There was something about this situation that pulled him in. He pushed his nerves away as he pushed the door open.

Y/N and Andy sat outside the locker room on a bench. Sid smiled a waved. A small part of him feared they would have left, but that fear was gone now and replaced with excitement.

“Hi Sid,” Andy waved. “You played good tonight, and your box is really cool,” He then whispered, “I actually fell asleep during the second intermission and missed part of the third because it’s so nice up there.”

Sidney chuckled. “Did you enjoy it, Y/N?” He asked. She nodded. He took this time to glance over her. She was wearing one of ZAR’s jerseys, but it was the color of the shirt underneath her jersey that caught his attention. “Are you wearing a Rangers shirt under that?”

She smirked. “Guilty. I couldn’t help myself. Zach wanted to wear my Rangers jersey because he thought your reaction would be funny. I said I didn’t want to torture you that much.”

Sidney, smiling, shook his head. “Well, clearly since your cousin being a Penguin and your son a future one doesn’t convince you,” A large grin appeared on Andy’s face, “I suppose I must convince you to become our #1 fan. Maybe we can go get something to eat. I know a nice diner only a few blocks from here.”

Y/N blushed as Andy yanked on her arm, begging her to agree. Y/N nodded and Sid led them out of the arena. “I hope you guys don’t mind walking. It��s only a few blocks from here.”

Y/N shook her head. “Not at all. We took the Light Rail here anyway.”

Andy stood between Y/N and Sidney, holding each of their hands, as they walked to the little diner. Y/N had objected at first but Sidney didn’t mind. He didn’t say it aloud but it felt like he had a family of his own for once. Andy talked the whole way there about the game. He praised both teams but admitted he was upset when Horny hit Zuccarello and then when Kreider tripped Sid. Sidney had to keep reassuring him that he was okay.

Very few people were in the diner when they walked in. A middle aged woman waved to them from behind the counter. “Hiya Sid!”

“Hi Marnie,” Sid greeted. He led Y/N and Andy to a booth on the left and the waitress, Marnie, brought two menus.

“I suppose you want your usual,” she said. She looked at his guests and smiled. “You’ve never brought your family here before, Sid. Mama’s gonna be upset.”

“Mama?” Andy and Y/N questioned.

“She’s talking about her mom, Sue,” Sid net explained. “Everyone calls her Mama and she calls everyone Baby or some other affectionate term.”

They nodded and glanced over the menu while Sid and Marnie caught up. It had been awhile since he had been into the diner. He had been craving their fries lately though, and one of Mama’s pies.

“I want nuggets,” Andy demanded. Y/N shot him a look. “Please.”

Marnie nodded. “And for you, miss?”

“I’ll have a Pittsburgh salad.”

“And an order of pierogies for the table too, Marnie,” Sid added.

Marnie nodded and walked off. “You come here often?” Y/N asked.

Sidney chuckled. “Is it that obvious? They don’t make a big deal about me here.”

Andy gave him a strange look. “But you’re Sidney Crosby.”

Sid nodded. “And I’m also just Sidney,” He stared at Y/N as he said this. He wanted her to understand. “I’m a normal guy. I come to a little diner to pig out because it makes me feel normal. I love judging people on House Hunters. I binge watch Friends. I like cooking. I play video games. I’m normal.”

“I’m sure your girlfriend loves that,” Y/N commented.

“I don’t have one. It’s just me.”

“Do you have a dog?” Andy asked. Sid shook his head. “You should get one. Or a cat. You need a friend for when you’re home. It probably gets lonely.”

Sid didn’t respond as Marnie had brought out their appetizer, and he also didn’t know how to respond. An 8 year old kid had hit his situation head on. He was alone. He had no one. He visited his team to feel wanted. He played hockey to keep busy. He looked up at that moment to see Y/N staring at him. There was a look in her eye that said she understood him. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly. Sid just nodded, and she gave him a weak smile.

He heard a shout. “Baby Sid!” Instantly a pair of arms wrapped around him. “Don’t you dare wait so long to come see me again.”

Sid chuckled. “I’m sorry, Mama. I fly to Boston tomorrow and then New Jersey. It’ll be a few days until I come back then.”

Mama Sue patted him on the back and glanced up to his company. “Baby you brought another baby Sid and a pretty woman! Why did you hide such a gorgeous family,” She pinched Andy’s cheeks. “You are a good looking boy. Look like your father.”

Sidney glanced at Y/N and saw her face pale. Andy giggled. “Sid’s not my dad. But she is my mom. Sid is our friend. I’ll still be Baby Sid Jr. though.”

Mama Sue chuckled. “And who are you, baby?”

“I’m Y/N. A friend.”

“A beautiful friend,” Mama added. Marnie brought over the tray of food. “Pittsburgh salad for beautiful friend. Chicken nuggets for Baby Jr Sid. And a basket of fries and today’s soup of Zuppa Toscana for Baby Sid. I make fresh peach-raspberry today pie too.”

“Thank you, Mama.”

They didn’t say much as they ate but the feeling was enough to keep Sid full. Andy tried playing with his food and Y/N told him to stop. He shared his fries with her after he caught her several times eyeing them. Andy would talk about his day and chomp on his food causing Sid to tell him to chew and swallow and then talk. He wiped Andy’s face when he was all done. Andy was yawning by the time Mama brought the pie out...in a box.

“Baby Jr Sid looks tired. Eat pie later. I wrote on top how to heat up,” Y/N tried to hand money to Mama for the dinner. She shook her head. “Nonsense. I put on Sid’s tab.”

Y/N pursed her lips. Sid didn’t want Y/N to be offended. “She can pay if she wants to, Mama,” Sid said.

A sharp pain radiated through Sid’s shoulder after Mama Sue hit him. “Stupid boy. You take beautiful friend on date and make pay? You’re hunky Canadien pseudo-father not teach you anything?”

“Mario taught me lots of things,” Sid answered. “Just let her pay.”

Mama huffed and turned to Y/N. “I make deal with you. This meal free as long as you and cute son come back to visit me. Then I let you pay.”

Y/N nodded. “I’ll take that deal.”

“And make sure Baby Sid shares pie with you!” Mama Sue shouted as they left the diner.

“She can be a lot,” Sid said when they were a few storefronts down. “But Mama Sue means well. I’m sorry you had to argue with her back there.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and pulled her coat tighter. Sidney had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around her. “It’s fine, Sidney. I know she meant well, but I like to feel that I am capable of taking care of Andy and I without any help.”

“Sometimes people want to help because they care,” Sidney blurted. He was going to apologize and then Andy started coughing hard. Sid dropped to Andy’s level. “Are you okay, bud?”

“Cold,” he muttered.

Sidney watched Y/N huff and purse her lips. “The station is another four blocks from here,” she murmured.

It was clear that Sidney was not supposed to hear that, but he did. “I can give you a ride home,” he offered. “The Rail isn’t going to be warm.”

“Sidney—“

“Take the nice man’s offer, momma,” Andy interrupted, his teeth chattering.

Y/N glared at Andy. “I was going to say yes. I’m not going to let you freeze.”

Andy blushed. “Sorry, momma. I just know how you can be.”

Y/N sighed and bent down to kiss Andy on the forehead. “I will always put you first, Andy. Always,” Y/N stood back up. “Where is your car, Sidney?”

—————————

Sidney pulled up to a mediocre brick apartment building in a shabby part of Pittsburgh. “Do you think Uncle Z will be back tonight, momma?” Andy yawned.

“Probably not bud,” Sid answered. “Your Uncle Z is out with some of the guys. He might stay with Olli tonight.”

“He’s with Olli a lot. Why aren’t you with the guys?” Andy asked.

“Because I wanted to spend the night with you and your mom,” Y/N was quiet throughout the conversation. “Shall I walk you guys up?”

“You don’t have to, Sidney. You’ve done plenty tonight. I really appreciate it.”

“I insist,” Sid leaned over and whispered, “I’ll be honest too. ZAR asked me to. Not that I wouldn’t have anyway.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and chuckled. “That sounds like him,” Y/N glanced back at her son. Sid looked back too and saw Andy slowly dozing off. “Would you mind carrying him up? It’s been a long day and I don’t want to wake him up. He might be a little heavy though.”

Sidney nodded. “I don’t mind. Maybe I can get out of lifting tomorrow,” he joked, causing Y/N to giggle. “Lead the way to your abode.”

The seven story brick apartment building opened with a simple key code—1-2-3-4 to be in fact. Sidney didn’t understand how this was safe. There was only one set of stairs in the building also, and they lived on the seventh floor.

“No wonder ZAR hates cardio workouts but is really good at them,” Sidney commented by the time they got to the fourth flight of stairs. “This is quite the workout.”

“Zach isn’t really here much any more,” Y/N told him. “He’s only here during the season when he’s on the roster. He has been spending a lot of time with Olli. I think they are thinking about getting a place together, but I know Zach doesn’t want to abandon us. He’s always been so supportive and I will always be grateful for that and liking out for us, but I just want him to live his own life. I did it before he got here. I can do it again.”

At the fifth flight Sidney heard the thump of music. At the sixth the moans of sex. Andy didn’t stir through the whole trip up. Once they reached the seventh floor, they had to go to the opposite end of the building to Y/N’s apartment. Sidney briefly stopped in front of one apartment, 7E, where he heard lots of screaming and yelling. Y/N shoved him along and stopped two doors down at 7C. Quickly she unlocked the door and shooed Sidney in.

“Andy’s room is this way,” she told him.

“Is that couple going to be okay?” Sidney asked.

She shrugged. “They fight all the time. As long as they don’t disturb apartment 7K, everyone will be fine and the cops won’t be called. I’m praying that doesn’t happen. It’s just a mess then.”

“Y/N, this isn’t safe,” Sidney whispered. He laid Andy down in his bed and walked out with Y/N. “This can’t be good for Andy.”

Y/N bit her lip and crossed her arms. Sidney watched many emotions cross her face. “I work the front desk at a downtown hotel and occasionally waitress at the hotel’s restaurant when someone can watch Andy. I can’t get a nice little townhouse and pay for the hospital bills. This isn’t where I ever pictured myself being.”

Sidney lunges forward to catch her as she collapsed in tears. He held her close and walked towards the couch. Y/N curled into his touch as he sat down. Sidney didn’t say anything; he just let her cry and rubbed her back. That’s what she needed. She was a 29 year old with an 8 year old son. Both hadn’t had the best life, but Y/N was doing her very best to make sure Andy was ahead in life, even if cancer pushed him back. She had no time for herself, Sidney realized. She had no one to vent or cry to. She put everyone ahead of her and left nothing for herself. She was alone—just like him.

Sidney glanced down and saw her tears had stopped and her breathing was even. Sidney didn’t have the heart to move her; besides, he liked the feel of someone being next to him. He could survive this one night.

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #pittsburgh penguins #pittsburgh penguins imagine #hockey #nhl #hockey imagines #nhl imagines #drowningsc

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tallglassofsweetpea · 5 years

Text

Little Darlin’ : Chapter Four

Sweet Pea x OC, 1950′s AU

Warnings: abusive relationship, smoking, underage drinking, 😘😘

(violence, sexual content/smut in later chapters)

AN: I’ve FINALLY finished this damn chapter! Thank you all for being patient and for your support. I think i’ve figured out where I want this story to go?? I’ve been having a tough time figuring it out because i have waaaaaay too many ideas floating around in my head. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. As always, Let me know what you think or if you have any ideas or suggestions, my ask is open!

masterlist can be found on my blog!

BTW: I’m on Thanksgiving break this week so pls feel free to send in requests!!!

Chapter Four: A Teenager’s Romance

“YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS!?!?!!”

Lily giggled into her pillow, her and Trish finally had a night to themselves and Lily spilled the beans about her night with Sweet Pea. Trish sat on the opposite end of Lily’s bed criss-cross-applesauce listening intently.

“Well…? How was it? I bet he’s a really good kisser.”

“It was…sweet.” Lily replayed the moment in her head for probably the millionth time.

“He must really like you, Lil’. I’m so happy for you!” She beamed at her friend. She loved seeing her like this, there was a new side of Lily that she hadn’t seen before Sweet Pea.

“So how’s everything going with Fangs?”

Trish sighed in contentment, her shoulders relaxing. “Lily he is just the most! I’ve never laughed so hard with anyone in my entire life, and he’s such a dreamboat. He makes me feel…special. And you know what?” Lily peered up at her expectantly, a small smile on her lips. “I think I’m in love!” Trish giggled, playfully outstretching her arms to the sky. The short sleeve of her silk pajama top slid up with the movement, revealing the skin up to her shoulder.

Lily noticed a couple of bruises on the newly exposed skin of her upper arm, it looked like someone had roughly grabbed her. “Trish? What is this from? Are you okay?”

Trish looked to her shoulder and immediately pulled her sleeve back down to cover it. “Oh, that? It’s nothing really.” She laughed it off, but Lily was far from convinced that it was “nothing”.

“I’ve just been such a klutz lately.”

“Trish...”

“Really Lily, I’m fine. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Archie must have suspected something was going on with Trish. Lily knew he had a temper, the two of them would get into arguments all of the time, but things had become physical recently.

Trish was quick to change the subject. “In other news, a little birdie told me you’re going on a date with Sweet Pea on Friday?”

Lily had been thinking about it since the night he asked to see her again. She’d get the jitters every time she would think about it. Her first real date. She’d wished she could have told her mom all about it like most girls could, but if she found out she was going out with a Serpent she would have her head on a stake.

“Yeah, I’m sort of nervous. I’ve never been on a real date before.”

“It’ll be incredible. Plus, me and Fangs might meet up with you guys at the drive-in, so I’ll be there for moral support.”

“I’m just worried. Maybe he doesn’t really like me and he’s just looking for a quick hookup or something? Do you think maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him?”

Trish shook her head. “Lil’ you’re completely overthinking it. It’s obvious that he likes you, and according to Fangs he’s never like this with most girls.”

Lily nodded her head, it was comforting to hear that. “I sure hope you’re right.”

It was now 5 minutes past 6 and Sweet Pea was nowhere to be seen. Her parents had their weekly game night with the Keller’s. Lily sat at the kitchen table, nervously fiddling with the gold cross around her neck. Though it had only been 5 minutes past the time he said he’d be there, she already began filling her head with doubt. Maybe he didn’t really like her? Did she scare him off by telling him her father was a holy man? Had she wasted her first kiss on some guy that would never talk to her again? She felt so silly, she never should have let her guard down like that. It was entirely unlike her.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. Lily stood up from her chair collecting her small white clutch and raced to the front door, stopping by the full length mirror that hung in the hall to check her hair that she wore down in soft blonde waves. She decided to go for her usual minimal makeup look, just a bit of soft pink blush and mascara to accentuate her green eyes. She wore a pale pink floral dress and a pair of saddle shoes. She was ready. She took a deep breath and opened the front door, there he stood towering over her. He was dressed in his usual attire, Serpent jacket, white tee and black jeans. He was holding something behind his back.

“Hey”

“Hey yourself.” His eyes ran over her petite figure. He couldn’t believe how good she looked. She looked almost angelic. Lily was different from the other girls he had gone with in the past. Pea also wasn’t usually one to go for shorter girls. But he couldn’t deny the fact that he loved the way he towered over her.

Lily felt self conscious under his gaze. Did she do too much? She knew they were only going to Pop’s and then to the drive-in, but she had wanted to look nice. But the way Sweet Pea was looking at her in that moment made her second guess herself.

“Hey, I uh. Ehem” He cleared his throat. “I got you something.” He pulled his hand out from behind his back to reveal a small bouquet of ivory white flowers.

“They’re lilies, you know…Like your name. That’s what the guy at the-uh place said anyways. I dunno, it’s kind of lame…It was Toni’s ide-“

Lily walked up to the blabbering Serpent and planted a soft kiss to his cheek to shut him up. She accepted the bouquet that he held out to her, the sweet aroma of the flowers filling her senses.

“I love them, thank you Sweet Pea.”

He smiled down at her, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. “No problem, they were all my idea.”

Lily couldn’t help but roll her eyes, she locked the door behind her as they started toward the driveway. There was no sign of Sweet Pea’s truck. But there was a shiny black Ford De Luxe in near perfect condition. The paint glistened in the moonlight.

“This is a bit of an upgrade from the truck. Is it new?”

“Sorta, me and Jug have been fixing her up for a couple of months. We’re gonna race it down by Sweetwater River.”

“You race cars?”

“Sometimes just for fun, sometimes for pinks.”

“Well, she’s beautiful.”

Sweet Pea watched as Lily’s dainty finger glided over the smooth black exterior of the Ford De Luxe. If her face was anything to go by, she seemed impressed. He lifted his lips into a smirk, “She sure is.”

Lily looked up at him, realizing he was watching her. She looked down at her feet, smiling.

It was a Friday night, and Pop’s was in full swing. Sweet Pea and Lily walked in and spotted a booth in the back left corner and made a run for it before it was taken. They slid into their seats on opposite sides of the booth. A pretty blonde waitress skated over, her hair was tucked back in a high ponytail and she greeted them with a friendly smile. Lily recognized her as Betty Cooper. She lived the next street over from her, they had taken a few classes together. She was a very sweet, very smart girl.

“Lily! How are you? How’s your summer so far?”

“Hi, Betty!” She then noticed Sweet Pea on the opposite side of the booth.

“Hey Sweet Pea, how’ve you been?”

“Not too bad. Could we just get a couple of shakes? One chocolate and….” Sweet Pea looked over at Lily and then back to Betty “One vanilla.”

“Two shakes; one chocolate, one vanilla. You got it.” She flashed them a smile and skated back to the counter to put in their order.

“She’s a real nice girl, I’ve had a few classes with her.”

“Betty? Yeah, she stops by the Wyrm every once in awhile to see Jones. Turns out she’s one hell of a mechanic, she’s helped us out at the garage a few times.”

“I didn’t even know they were an item until I saw them at the Wyrm last week.”

“Yeah, most Northsiders don’t want people knowing they’re hanging around with Serpents. They’re keeping it low-key.”

A few minutes passed when Betty brought over their shakes and placed them on the table with the check. “There you guys are!” They both thanked her and dove into their shakes.

“Mmm, this is delicious. How’d you know vanilla was my favorite?” Lily questioned.

Sweet Pea shrugged, a smile threatening to break out. “Lucky guess.”

Sweet Pea watched her take a sip from her straw, she had a bit of whipped cream just below her bottom lip. Sweet Pea reached over and ran his thumb over the spot, lingering a bit over the bottom curve of her lip. The two locked eyes, and her stomach did a little flip.

Once they finished their shakes and payed the bill, the two hopped back in the car and made their way over to the drive in to meet up with Trish and Fangs. Cars littered the parking lot, mostly packed with teenagers and their dates. Lily’s father often warned her of the “dangers of the drive-in”. He claimed it was nothing but a hot spot for kids to meet up and do “unholy things.” Lily wasn’t entirely naive, she knew a lot of guys would bring girls there to make out, sometimes even more. Regardless, she genuinely liked the drive-in, Trish and her and been going there together for years. Some of their best memories took place there.

Sweet Pea spotted Fangs standing outside his car having a smoke. He pulled into the parking space next to him and rolled down his window to talk.

Fangs’ eyes lit up, roaming over the body of the fixed up car. “WOAH! Check her out!” Fangs circled around it, leaning in to check out the details. “We’re gonna kick those Ghoulies asses down at Sweetwater, in style.” Fangs had a wide, child-like grin on his face.

“She cleaned up pretty nice huh?”

“Hell yeah. I hardly even recognized the ole hunk of junk” He turned to Sweet Pea, he looked as though he had an epiphany. “SP, this car could be make-out city!”

Lily leaned forward and interrupted.“Hi Fangs.”

“Oh-uh. Hey Lily!” He said rather clumsily, “Didn’t see ya there.” Sweet Pea let out a deep sigh.

“Hey, Where’s Trish?”

“Turns out she’s not coming, said she had a “last minute commitment” or somethin’. I dunno. Figured I’d come check out the scene anyway.” That immediately worried Lily, she hoped everything was okay with Trish. It was unlike her to miss night out with Fangs. “Hey you guys want anything? I’m gonna hit the snack bar.”

“Nah, I’m cool man. Lily? Want anything?”

“Could you please grab me a bottle of coke?”

Fangs nodded. “You got it!” and strolled over to the snack bar, combing his hair back on the way over.

Lily watched as Sweat Pea took out a cigarette and brought it to his lips. He looked down at Lily and raised his eyebrows, “You want one?”

“Me? Oh, no. I’ve never smoked before.”

Sweet Pea gave her an amused look, “Ya don’t say?” He chuckled and blew out a cloud of smoke.

“You look really beautiful by the way. I don’t know if I already told you that.”

Lily blushed, “Thanks, you don’t look half bad yourself.”

“Glad you think so, darlin’.” Sweet Pea smiled, puffing on his cigarette. Lily watched as the smoke billowed out of the drivers side window.

“Hey Pea?”

“Hmm?”

“I had a really good time with you last weekend. I can’t thank you enough for inviting me.”

“Anytime you want to have some fun just let me know.”

“And thank you for the-“ She laughed nervously. “Well, you know.” She felt the heat crawl up to her cheeks.

“The kiss?” He looked at her, amused. He loved how shy she was, he found it very endearing.

“Yea, the kiss. It was…nice.”

“Well, kitten. There’s plenty more where that one came from.” Sweet Pea winked at the blonde, whose cheeks had since grown pink. The opening credits began, Sweet Pea tossed his cigarette out the window snaked his arm around Lily’s shoulders. She let her body sink into him. She smiled up at him and they locked eyes. Sweet Pea leaned his head in closer to the small blonde. His lips hovered just above hers when the back door to the car flung open, Fangs hopped in the back seat and slammed the door shut with a loud exhale. Sweet Pea pulled his head back and leaned back against his headrest. He closed his eyes in annoyance. If there was one thing that Sweet Pea hated Fangs for, it was his impeccable timing. Fangs extended his arm out between the two, a bottle of coke in his hand. “One pop for the missus.” Lily let out a soft laugh, taking the drink from his hand. “Thank you, Fangs.”

“No problem, toots.” Fangs sunk back in his seat, making himself comfortable as he shoveled a handful of buttery popcorn into his mouth. “Did I miss anything?” Sweet Pea rolled his eyes, glaring at his friend in the rearview mirror. “OOOO! I love the opening credits! It’s the one with the little dancing popcorn guy, I love it!” Fangs let out a laugh and began singing along with the music. “Let’s all go to the mooooovies! Let’s all go to the mooooooovies! Let’s all go to the mooooooviiiiiiiiiiii-UNH!” Sweet Pea had turned around and grabbed his friend by the collar of his leather jacket. Lily sat there, eyes glued to the screen trying to hold back her laughter.

“HEY- whats it to ya?!”

“Hit the pavement, Fogarty.”

“Oh come on SP, you’re not gonna make me watch the movie all by myself are ya?”

Sweet Pea nudged his head toward Lily, his eyebrows raising. Sweet Pea swore he watched the gears slowly begin to turn in Fangs’ head.

“OH. Oh, yeah. I’ll just catch up with you guys later then. Enjoy the movie.”

Fangs opened up the door, and sauntered away from the car with his bucket of popcorn.

“Sorry about him, he’s a pain in my ass.”

“No, thats okay. I think he’s rather funny.”

“Oh yeah, a regular Moe Howard.” Sweet Pea scoffed, he replaced his arm around Lily’s shoulders and continued watching the movie. Throughout the film, the pair took turns stealing glances at one another. Sweet Pea lightly caressed her shoulder, the small contact sending a shiver down her spine. Lily looked over to him.

“Do you like the movie? You seem distracted.”

“Oh, yeah. The movie’s great. I’ve just been thinking…”

“…About?” Lily looked at him curiously.

“This.” Sweet Pea placed his hand under her chin, guiding her lips to his. He placed a firm kiss against her lips and pulled back. Lily looked up at him under her lashes and pulled him closer to her, their lips connecting again. They moved against each other a little more than before. Lily’s fingers held tightly to the lapels of his leather jacket. Sweet Pea ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she let out a small gasp just as Sweet Pea slid his tongue between her lips. She let her tongue gently caress against his. She had never understood what could be so great about someones tongue in your mouth, it seemed disgusting. Although at first it caught her off-guard, but then she thought it was kind of nice. Different, but nice. She suddenly felt an unfamiliar ache deep down, an ache for something more. She let her fingers become tangled in his dark hair as Sweet Pea pulled her body closer to his. He let one hand slowly slide down her subtle curves and down to her waist. She involuntarily moved her body a little closer to his. She seemed like she was into it, so he dared to venture his hand a little further down her side past the curve of her hip and stopped at her knee. Lily let out a small sigh into his mouth. She had never felt as good a she did in that moment, yet she somehow wanted more. She wasn’t sure what “more” was exactly, but she yearned for it. Sweet Pea gently rubbed his thumb against the side of her knee and slowly started to creep up her leg, his fingers sliding just past the hem of her cotton dress and pushing the fabric up her soft thigh.

Lily jerked back. “Sweet Pea!” Lily said with a gasp, smoothing out her skirt and protectively wrapping her arms around herself. She was shocked. Mostly in shock of herself for letting things escalate so quickly, but also how her body hadn’t wanted him to stop.

“Sorry, I got carried away.” Sweet Pea looked at her apologetically, letting out a deep sigh. Sweet Pea really wasn’t used to taking things slow, he was used to drunken one night stands. He knew things with Lily would be different, she just wasn’t that type.

“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to this.” She admitted to him bashfully.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna force you to do anything.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I’ll try to slow down.”

She thought it was sweet of him. Although admittedly, she wasn’t sure that she wanted him to slow down. Especially after that. “Thank you, you’re a real gentleman.”

“That’s a first. “ Sweet Pea gave her a small smile, what in the hell was he doing? He’d only hung out with this chick a handful of times and it was as though she had cast a spell on him.

His thoughts were interrupted by a second gasp from Lily. He looked over to the girl to see her ducked down in the passenger seat.

“You okay, blondie? What’s with the freak out?”

Lily looked over at him with worried eyes. “It’s Trish!”

“I thought Fangs said she wasn’t coming? What are you hiding for?”

“She’s here with Archie.”

Sweet pea looked out the windshield of the car and low and behold, there stood Archie Andrews with his arm around the leggy redhead. They were talking with Moose Mason and Midge Klump. “Ah, shit.” Sweet Pea hoped Fangs wouldn’t bump into them. He knew it would crush him.

And just like that, Fangs’ impeccable timing struck once again. He was looking down at his bucket of popcorn, tossing a few pieces into his mouth when he looked up and saw them. Archie Andrews walking with his arm around a girl. His girl. Sweet Pea watched his best friend’s face drop at the sight. He tried to sneak by the couple without going noticed, but Archie had spotted him as soon as he turned down that row of cars.

“Well, well, well. I didn’t know Southside put out their trash on Friday nights.” Trish looked up at Fangs, her eyes wide in both shock and embarrassment.

“Where are the rest of those greaseball buddies of yours?”

“Bite me, Andrews.” Fangs went to walk by the group of Northsiders.

Archie stopped in front of him, pushing on his shoulders. “What did you just say to me?” Fangs just stood there silently, glancing over at Trish. Her head hung low in shame.

“You touch me again, I’ll knock your lights out.”

“You know, you’ve got some nerve showing up on the Northside alone. In MY territory, talking to me like that.”

Trish caressed Archie’s arm, nuzzling up against his side. “Archie cut it out, just let him go…He’s not worth it.” Fangs’ face fell into a deep scowl. He knew she was only doing and saying those things to diffuse the situation, but he’s be lying if it didn’t sting like hell to see her like that with Archie.

Archie wrapped his arm around Trish’s shoulders as he held eye contact with Fangs, and started to walk away.

Fangs stood there for a second before walking back to sit on the hood of his car, placing his bucket of popcorn next to him. He ran a hand over his face before taking out a cigarette and bringing it to his lips.

“You should go talk to him, Pea.” Sweet Pea looked over at Lily, he knew she was right. He let out a deep sigh before he opened the door and walked over to Fangs, leaning against the car.

“You got a smoke I can bum off you?”

Fangs nodded silently, reaching in his pocket and pulling out the pack, offering it to Sweet Pea. “You know, I just don’t get it man.” Sweet Pea slid out a cig from the carton, lighting it and taking a long drag.

“I take her out, I treat her like gold, make her laugh. I practically worship at her feet.” Fangs took a puff off his cigarette. “And at the end of the day, she goes right back to him.” He said with blatant disgust.

“He treats her like shit. I watch that jerk-off flirt with other girls, taking them out.” Sweet Pea shook his head and Fangs looked over at him, “He hits her, SP. I’ve seen the bruises, she’s got marks all over her body. She tries to tell me she’s just clumsy.” Fangs scoffed. "But I know it’s him. It’s that jock prick, Andrews. I want to beat him to a bloody pulp, but I know she’d never forgive me.” Fangs took another drag from his cigarette. “SP, what the hell do I do?”

“I don’t know, I mean…maybe you should just let her go?”

“You know I can’t do that, I think I love her. I know I love her. But how do I get her to choose me over him?”

“Have you told her?”

“Told her what?”

“You just said that you love her. Have you told her that?”

“Nah, man. It’s a waste.”

“I think you should tell her.” Fangs blew out smoke into the cool air.

“I’ll think about it. Thanks SP.” He threw the but of his cigarette to the ground, SP followed suit. “I’m getting the fuck out of here, this movie sucks.”

Sweet Pea and Lily sat and watched the rest of the movie before they hit the road. The mood was sort of ruined by the whole Archie and Fangs thing. Sweet Pea felt sorry for Fangs, he was in a real tough situation. The only thing Fangs ever wanted to talk about was how wonderful Trish was. Sweet Pea found it borderline sickening. But he could tell that his best friend was happy, and that made Sweet Pea happy. He was very protective of Fangs, even when they were kids. He was like an annoying little brother to him.

“I feel horrible for Fangs. Did you see the way Archie was talking to him? Why I’d like to give that pompous…jerk a piece of my mind!”

Sweet Pea chuckled. “Got a little bit of fire in you, darlin’.”

“I just wish Trish would wake up and kick Archie to the curb.” Lily let out a frustrated sigh.

They pulled up just before Lily’s house, Sweet Pea got out of the car and opened the car door for her. She climbed out of the car and Sweet Pea closed the door behind her. He leaned against the side of the Ford De Luxe, Lily standing between his legs.

“Sorry our date kinda got ruined.”

“It wasn’t ruined, Pea.” He smiled at the nickname. “I still had a nice time with you.”

“Nice time.” He said to himself. “So does that mean I earned a second date?” Lily smiled up at him, biting her lip.

“Maybe even a third.” She got on her toes and pecked him on the lips. He rested his hands on her hips. He wasn’t ready for her to leave just yet.

He brushed her blonde waves back behind her shoulder. “When can I see you again?”

“School starts next week, so I won’t be around much during the week.”

“What do you have a boyfriend Monday through Friday that you don’t want me to know about?” He teased. She shook his head at him, letting out a small chuckle. “That’s alright, I’ve got some shit I’ve gotta work out this week. Serpent stuff.”

Lily nodded her head. She wanted to ask exactly what this “Serpent stuff” entailed, but decided not to push it. “Well, you know where to find me.” She leaned up to give him a chaste kiss on the lips, her hand momentarily rested on his chest. “Goodnight, Sweet Pea.”

She sauntered toward her house and turned when she reached the door to wave goodbye. He waved back, throwing a wink her way before he climbed back into his car and drove away.

Sweet Pea walked into the Wyrm and walked over to the bar. Fangs was passed out drunk in his barstool with a line of empties in front of him.

“He came in about an hour or two ago, he got completely loaded and passed out. That Northsider really did a number on him.” Toni was cleaning up the rest of the bar, wiping down the counter around Fangs and his empty beer bottles.

Toni popped off the cap to a beer and handed it over to Sweet Pea. “Yeah, sure looks like it. Poor bastard’s in love.” He said before taking a swig from the bottle.

Toni raised an eyebrow at Sweet Pea before shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess that’s what he gets for getting involved with a Northside girl.”

Sweet Pea let out a snicker.

“Speaking of Northside girls….How are things going with Little Miss Sunshine?”

Sweet Pea downed another large gulp of beer before answering. “Good.”

“Good? That’s all I get?”

Sweet Pea shrugged his shoulders, his eyes darting around the room for a distraction.

Toni stopped to look at him, she could tell he didn’t want to talk about her. There could only be one reason why. “Oh my god.”

Sweet Pea looked back to Toni, who stood there with a wide, knowing grin that stretched across her face. “What?”

Toni lightly shook her head, “You like her. You really like her.”

“Oh cut the gas, Toni. She’s a nice girl, fun to be around, really cute. But that’s it. That’s where it ends.”

“I think you’re afraid.”

“Am not.”

“You so are! Sweet Pea, she obviously likes you if she voluntarily hangs around your stubborn ass!”

Sweet Pea rolled his eyes, finishing his beer.

“I say, go for it! See where it goes.”

“It would never work, we’re from two completely different sides of the tracks. It’s bad news, T.”

“Well I think you should give it a try. I think this could be good for you.”

Sweet Pea groaned. “What are you my mother?” Sweet Pea stood up from his seat at the bar, throwing a couple bucks on the counter. “Can you make sure he gets home safe? I’ve gotta get to bed. These weekly late night runs are killing me.”

“You’re still doing those moves for the Ghoulies?”

“It’s the only way we can pay them back, it’s not like we’ve got the money upfront. We could’ve been all paid off by now if I didn’t-”

“Sweet Pea. It wasn’t your fault and you know it. Just be careful out there. There’s a lot of tension in this town.”

“Always am.”

Taglist: @madaboutlili @chipster-21 @the-fifth-marauder-paws @ddeo-na-ji-ma @softporcelain @gswritings @charles11700 @jennyhetzel @ajillathehun-blog

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theycallmebeccawrites · 5 years

Text

Birthday Sex - Part 2

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Title: Birthday Sex - Part 2

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: language, descriptive sex scenes

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

18+ Disclaimer: This work contains sexual material that is for those over the age of 18. By clicking the keep reading link below, you are agreeing that you are over the age of 18 and are not offended by sexual content.

Summary: The second of 3 birthday tales; Chris and his wife go on a little vacation for his birthday during the filming of Infinity Wars.

This story can also be read on AO3.

Part 1

June 13, 2017

The lack of sound around you pulls you from your unplanned slumber. Opening your eyes, you blink as the midday’s sun greets you, making you realize your sunglasses have disappeared. Looking out the windshield, you see tall trees save for the large, log cabin inspired house Chris had rented for the remainder of his birthday week.

“Good afternoon, sleeping beauty,” you husband teases from the driver’s seat.

You smile sleepily and then stretch your body, groaning because your muscles are tight from the awful position you slept in on the car ride from Atlanta.

“Sore?” Chris asks and you nod. “Let’s get the car unpacked and then we can go take a bath.”

You turn your face to look at him and you see the sexy smirk resting on his lips. He lifts his sunglasses up to give you a wink, telling you that helping you ease your sore muscles isn’t the only thing he has planned for your bath.

Opening the car door, you step out into the already hot, sticky air that you still haven’t adjusted to despite having lived in Georgia since last November, due to Chris filming the Avengers Infinity Wars movies.

“This is nothing baby,” Chris chuckles as he appears with your bag. “Just wait until July and August.”

“Maybe I should go home for awhile,” you suggest, not looking forward to the even hotter weather. “Or maybe Boston, it shouldn’t be this hot there, right?”

“You’re not going anywhere,” he says, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “If I can get through this wearing the Cap costume, you can definitely get through it in a pair of hot pants and a tube top.”

“Have you thought that through babe?” you ask him. “Think of how much tighter the Cap suit will get if I’m on set dressed like that and trying to cool myself down by holding ice cubes to my heated skin.”

He lets out a small groan before he finds his voice. “In the house. Now.”

“What about the bags?” you ask as he moves away from you to slam the trunk closed.

“I’ll get them later,” he replies. He leads you up the stairs to the front door and uses the key from the rental office to unlock the door. He tosses the lone bag he brought in onto the floor right inside the door and then points to the stairs. “Let’s go.”

“Wait! You can’t wear your shoes in the house,” you say, pointing to the sign on the wall. You make short work of your flip flops, kicking them off, while he hops around trying to remove his sneakers and socks without sitting down.

Smiling to yourself, you pass him and quickly climb the stairs, ignoring the pain in your muscles. You’ve always been a fan of taking baths, especially in a nice, deep, soaking-style tub; something that Chris hadn’t understood until his birthday last year, when the two of you had taken advantage of the large bath tub at the house he’d borrowed. It had even led to him giving you a “coupon” for a complete master bathroom redesign for your house in LA as a wedding present last fall; with said redesign due to be completed by the time filming for Infinity Wars wrapped.

Reaching the top of the stairs, you see a set of double doors at one end of the hall and can see a large bed just inside. Hearing Chris’s heavy footsteps behind you, you make your way into the master bedroom and through a second door, coming to a dead stop as you enter the gorgeous master bathroom. Most of the room is dark with wood accents, but the large bathtub is surrounded by large stones, including two stone steps leading up to it.

“Perfect, isn’t it?” Chris asks as he wraps his arms around you.

“It reminds me of the one at the lodge in Colorado,” you reply, bringing up the large “cabin” where you and Chris had married last October in a private ceremony with just yours and his immediate family members in attendance. There had been a lot of debating on whether or not to wait until after Infinity Wars finished filming to get married, but the truth was neither of you had wanted to wait that long. Which had led to other questions, like where to have a wedding: your hometown, his hometown or in Los Angeles, where you’d met. Ultimately, you’d both decided that a smaller, destination wedding was the way to go with each of your families hosting a reception for you at a later date.

The reception in his hometown had taken place around Thanksgiving and your family had flown out to be there for the festivities, which had included trying to fit way too many people around Chris’s mom’s dining room table. Then, a month later, between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, your parents had hosted a reception for the two of you in your hometown, in which his family had also attended.

As much as you had loved those receptions, however, neither had been able to top the one that Robert Downey Jr. had thrown for you and Chris the weekend after filming for Infinity Wars had officially began. It had taken place at the lovely estate that his family was staying in for the duration of filming and he had invited all the cast and some of the crew, especially those who had been working on the various Avenger and Captain America movies since the very beginning, to what he’d originally described as an outdoor reception. Unbeknownst to you and Chris, though, he had also been secretly gathering vows, written by the invitees, for you and Chris to exchange.

The whole afternoon had been a complete blast and you can’t help but giggle as you recall the most memorial vow that you had refused to read aloud on principle, despite the urging from the group.

“What’s so funny?” Chris asks, breaking into your thoughts.

He had been the one who’d ended up reading the vow, in which you would have had to promise to name your first born after Tom Brady. The group had both cheered and booed, all of them aware of Chris’s love for the New England Patriot’s quarterback, and Chris had allowed their energy to sweep him into the moment and cockily tell them that it would be tabled for discussion later. You had deflated any chance of that by reminding him that you had your own favorite NFL team and favorite quarterback.

“Just remembering the party Robert threw for us,” you reply, closing your eyes as you feel Chris press his lips against your neck.

“We’re both wearing too many layers,” he whispers in your ear as his hands find the hem of your tank top. As he raises the shirt up, you lift your arms in an effort to help.

Before the shirt even hits the floor, his fingers are undoing the hooks of your bra and you feel it slacken. He turns you around to face him and then he takes ahold of the straps of your bra and pulls them down your arms, revealing your breasts to his hungry eyes. He lets the bra fall to the floor between you as he reaches out and gives your tightening nipples a soft pull, causing a moan to escape your lips.

Not wanting to be the only one half naked, you reach out and grab the hem of his shirt and help him out of it. Licking your lips, you take in the hard planes of his body. He’s been keeping to a strict diet and a workout routine that has done wonders for his body. Without any thought, you reach your hands out and touch his pecs, loving the way the muscles feel against your hands, even though you miss the chest hair he waxes off to play Steve. You draw your hands down his chiseled torso to the waistband of his cargo shorts.

He stands patiently as you undo the fastenings of his shorts and then push them down, so they pool at his feet. Raising your eyes to his, you tease his already aroused cock through his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Knowing him as well as you do, you know it will only be a matter of time before he takes back control. You slip your hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs and tease the tip of his cock.

Something flashes in his eyes and, suddenly, you find yourself pressed against the closest wall. His mouth on yours while his hands work furiously on the fastenings of your jean shorts. He makes short work of them and yanks your panties down as far as he can before his fingers slide between your legs and get back at you for your teasing.

“I thought,” you say between breaths. “We were going to take a bath.”

He pulls his hand from between your legs, grazing your clit as he does so, just to make you moan. His eyes are dilated from arousal as he steps back and takes a deep breath. Walking over to the bathtub, he leans over and turns on the water.

“I’ll be back,” he says before he leaves the room.

You finish undressing and then do your best to pull your hair back in an attempt to keep most of it dry. Then you test the water temperature, adjusting it slightly, before digging through the basket of bubble bath scents provided. Choosing a lemon and vanilla scent, you sprinkle it into the tub and watch as the bubbles start to form.

Unable to wait for Chris, you slide into the hot water and a loud sigh fills the room as your muscles begin to relax. You lean back against the porcelain tub and close your eyes. You’ve enjoyed your extended stay in Georgia, but the small house that you and Chris are renting has a bathtub the size of a sink, meaning you haven’t had a nice long soak since the last day of yours and Chris’s honeymoon.

“You look comfortable,” he says, alerting you to his return.

You open your eyes and see that he is holding a bottle of champagne and two flutes. He sets them on the deck of the bathtub then takes off his boxer briefs, freeing his hard cock. He turns the water off, as the bathtub is nearly full, then he climbs the steps to the tub.

“Do you want champagne now or later?” he asks, squeezing himself in beside you.

“Later,” you reply as you climb on top of him and press your lips against his. His hands find your hips as you rock yourself against him, the water lapping against the edges of the tub.

“I don’t know how much of this I can take without ruining it for both of us,” he confesses.. “Fucking you in this bathtub has been all I’ve thought about since I found this place online the other night.”

“Then fuck me,” you reply, playfully.

“It’s my birthday,” he says. “You’re supposed to do all the hard work, remember?”

Raising an eyebrow, you slide your hand between your bodies and take hold of his hard cock. Licking your lips, you slide the tip of him through your folds, teasing both of you, before positioning him at your entrance. He raises his hips as you lower yours and he slides into you.

Your hands find the edge of the tub on either side of his head and you hold on as you begin to move your body. One of his hands also finds an edge of the tub to anchor you both while the other takes one of your bubble covered breasts in hand and teases you.

As your desire builds, the water splashes against the edge of the tub, occasionally spilling onto the stone deck. Chris’s hand leaves your second breast and slips between your bodies as you both grow closer to your releases.

Your hands find Chris’s strong shoulders as your body begins to tense and you cling to him as your orgasm rips through your body, forcing every muscle to tighten all the way to your baby toes. His hands find your waist and he keeps your bodies moving together until you feel his body jerk under yours, sending spurt after spurt of his baby making juices inside of you.

Collapsing against his chest, it takes you several minutes before you’re able to think clearly.

“I’ll take some of that champagne now,” you say with a smile.

Chris moves you off of him and leans over to pour you each a drink before resettling himself and motioning for you to join him. You slip between his legs and rest your back against his chest. He hands you a champagne flute and you hold it up, waiting for him to make a toast, since he can’t drink champagne without making one.

“To no more birth control pills and lots of baby making practice,” he says.

Giggling, you clink your glass against his and then take a sip of the bubbly liquid. As you lean back against his chest and close your eyes, you can’t help but picture the future with a bunch of little you and Chris’s running around.

Part 3

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

#chris evans #theycallmebecca #beccaheartschrisevans #theycallmebeccawrites #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #reader insert

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scullyeffect · 5 years

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how do you feel about younger people in fandom? like the youngest side that are probably on tumblr i.e 13/14ish?

i don’t know if you mean in the x-files fandom, or just younger people getting involved into fandom stuff online nowadays so i’m just going to go with a generalization.

i’m nobody’s mother and interests are healthy, and honestly i’m 23 so i don’t know anything about anything yet, but i will say that i live with a 15 y/o girl, a 13 y/o girl, and an 11 y/o girl, and i find myself very sad when all they want to do is go on a phone and watch youtube videos and be online instead of doing something more creative or intellectual.

we had a birthday party for 11 last night, and we had to take phones away from like six 10-11 year olds, which is ridiculous. i do understand that we live in a big city (paris, which isn’t exactly the safest) and lots of kids do things independently (walk to school, walk to friends’ houses, take the métro) so sometimes i worry about 11 (who doesn’t have a phone) if she needs to take the métro alone or walk somewhere alone, and i wish she did have some way to reach me if ever she got lost or something, but 11 is so young.

i think in a world that’s become so increasingly digitized and almost making it necessary to be connected in some way, kids are growing up faster, and some of the posts online and on tumblr talk about things they might not understand yet, and cause them to form opinions based on a text post some 18 y/o wrote. i’m even guilty of this. i’ll get too lazy to keep up with the real world and get my politics from tumblr sometimes, and that’s probably not good, even though mainstream news sources can do the same thing. my mom worked for the washington post, and that’s pretty much the only place i get my news from.

i probably got my first tumblr account when i was 15, and honestly i regret it. i was a pretty sheltered kid/teenager who really enjoyed reading, doing art, writing, and watching sad european dramas about dead sovereigns and suffering artists. i somehow discovered pro-ana blogs (blogs that share and encourage eating disorders to the point where healthy people can begin to actively attempt to follow insane tips in order to lose weight), and since i actually had been having trouble with my own eating habits but never really known that those behaviors were bizarre, i self-diagnosed and was part of that “community” for awhile.

i was interested/ in love with lots of actors and actresses, and as i made it out of kind of the pro-ana area which i realized which was unhealthy lol i found out about stan culture and just real obsession with movie stars/celebrities. when i was a younger teen i was “obsessed” with meryl streep, which at that time meant that i watched all her films repeatedly. i didn’t realize people cared about the actors/actresses’ personal lives until i got on tumblr, and at the time it was really exciting to discover things about my favorite celebrities (i mean, being a fan of someone obviously isn’t new, but it was to me). now that i’m 23 i find it very invasive and somewhat creepy that we’re so interested in someone’s life, sometimes even more than their body of work. we’ll probably never meet that person, and if we do they’re not going to think about you or remember you forever, because there are thousands of other people out there who feel the same way, and they just can’t keep track (at least the huge stars).

on the flip side, i think it’s good to have role models and people to look up to, but sometimes there’s a thin line there. i’m blonde, but i dyed my hair brown in my first year of high school because i was obsessed with marion cotillard and wanted to look like her. i kept the brown throughout high school because i liked it, and sort of forgot i ever did it because of her, but now i’m blonde again and it looks so much better haha. ALSO i got really interested in france/speaking french because of her (and juliette binoche), although i had a fantastic and enthusiastic french teacher in high school to help fuel my desire to speak french. and now i’m fluent in french and live in france. wow. so, if there are people you look up to in the public eye and they’re influencing you in positive ways, that’s great! i do get suspicious when very influential celebrities share their political views, though. i think we have a tendency to follow in people’s footsteps either subconsciously or in full awareness. that could be in any field. i like certain authors, and sometimes my own writing is heavily influenced by their work. it’s a natural thing that happens. but voting really should be an informed decision...just my opinion.

let’s talk about “just my opinion”. online bullying is real and can sometimes be rampant if there are dividing views on someone and their perceived private life. for example, in the x-files fandom we will, for the most part, absolutely convince you that mulder and scully are fucking like bunnies, when the show’s own creator won’t lol. but there are also people who think that gillian anderson and david duchovny (the leads) were/are/could be at some point in a romantic relationship with each other. they (anderson and duchovny) even cater to the fans a bit, but at the end of the day that’s their business and they don’t owe us an explanation, and a lot of people in fandom sort of act like they do. the point of this example was that because people in fandom are divided about this point of view, if you talk about one side or the other, there are some people who will come at you and say mean things for not agreeing with you, and try to convince you of a truth they have no real authority to speak about. this is obviously just an example, but online bullying is rampant and is often taken personally and can really affect the person being bullied, especially someone younger who may or may not be already facing that in real life at school lol.

i think tumblr is a good place for people who suffer from mental illness to come together in a healthy way to talk through their problems (god i hope i’m telling the truth), and there’s definitely tons of awareness and support that you’ll get on tumblr that you may not find in the real world. for example, i don’t know anyone irl who has epilepsy who i can talk to about mine. on tumblr i’ve talked with people who understand what i’m going through. i think that self diagnosis online, just as much on tumblr as it is when i cough and search “signs of throat cancer or tuberculosis’, read up on web md, and immediately fear my days might be numbered, is a problem. on tumblr i think we’re introduced to concepts and can sometimes treat mental illness lightly, when it shouldn’t. if you’re suffering from a mental illness, the online world isn’t going to be the place that can completely help you (says the girl who refuses to go to therapy and instead complains online about how she’s not getting any better).

being online immediately takes us out of life and into a different world. we become observers instead of experiencing the world. there’s good stuff about observation, but being online and attached to a website that is more or less just a vice for people will often make us choose to be on our phones instead of doing stuff in real life.

all of these points being said, i’m guilty of a lot of the “bad/unhealthy” facets of tumblr, but as i’ve “grown up” (unfortunately still staying on tumblr for a good portion of that time) i’ve grown out of a lot of these things and can see the good and the bad that the online world has to offer, and know which parts to stay away from. i can recognize that spending too much time on here does nothing for my desire to stay inside and not experience the real world. it also makes me think a lot more about tv shows/films/celebrities than i need to. but i’ve also made great friends from being on tumblr over the years, and gotten support i definitely wouldn’t have gotten in real life.

back to my real life. do i encourage the girls i live with to be interested in certain media? yes, especially stuff i feel has a good message. i basically sat the two older ones down and showed them the pilot of the x-files. do they experience the same high level obsession i do with tv shows/movies? no. and i’m glad for that. they like to lose themselves in certain tv shows, but when the tv is off they don’t really talk about it. do i introduce them to things i’m interested in media-wise? yes. do i introduce them to books and music i was/am interested in? yes. have i told them about tumblr? no. they don’t have any access to my online “presence” (they don’t know my instagram, twitter, etc), and i don’t talk about it. when my computer is out and they’re in the room doing homework, i’m usually writing. granted, that’s usually fanfiction, but at least i’m writing something.

one of the boys i tutor is writing a book (he’s 11) which is basically a self insert that takes place in the harry potter universe. he doesn’t know what fanfiction is, and i haven’t told him (although he’d never type it up and put it online lol he barely knows how to turn the computer on), but i’m so thrilled he’s even writing that i make him sit down and write for 10 minutes before we ever start watching a movie (in english).

ANYWAY. i’m nobody’s mother and at the end of the day i’m posting this online on my stupid blog where nothing i say matters or has any influence anywhere, but i think kids should be able to enjoy a non-internet related childhood as long as possible. some of us on tumblr are old enough to actually have children that age, and as much as we like having an account on this site, if asked this same question we might not as readily say ‘yeah it’s great! i want my teenagers to have the same experience as me!’

there’s my two centimes. hope i answered your question. JuST MY OPINION.

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littlespacestars · 6 years

Text

Voltron Ask Game

I saw this floating around and I thought it would be fun to fill out. :)

How did you discover the show?

A friend my senior year of college introduced it to me! He and another friend of ours, binge watched it in his dorm room over the weekend the fall of 2016. I hadn’t heard literally anything about it, so I went in completely blind! Which I’m so glad I did, since that never happens to me.

Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the show?

After watching the pilot episode, I kinda thought it was a little cheesy, but the characters really grew on me with each episode. I was so enamored by Allura’s character design (poc princess!!) and her spirit, and with the reveal of Pidge being a girl, so I knew I’d stick with it. Shiro was also another factor. It was so nice seeing a (poc) character with a mental illness take on a lead role and do his best to overcome his struggles. That definitely resonated with me.

Not to mention, the humor of the show was something I could get into. Like, the jokes and the voice acting, the interactions, they actually made me genuinely laugh.

And after checking out the fandom one day, that’s when I really got invested, because of all the cute headcanons and fanart, etc. And then I fell really hard for Shallura and I was a goner lmao.

Do you have a favorite episode?

Uggh, it’s so hard to choose. Probably a tie between Crystal Venom and Blackout. I liked the balance between the more serious scenes with Shiro and Allura’s trauma and the humorous scenes with the rest of the paladins.

And Blackout...man. It was just a ride. And seeing Shiro get his bayard and Black’s wings, Allura facing off against Haggar, etc. So cool.

Do you have a favorite Paladin?

Definitely a tie between Shiro and Allura (since she’s technically a paladin). But Lance is second. lmao. It’s so hard for me to choose, honestly. I really love all the characters for different reasons. But if you’re on my blog, it’s clear I have a bias towards Shiro and Allura. Not just because they’re my ship, though. Their individual personalities stand so strongly on their own.

Do you have a favorite Lion? (If it’s different from your fave Paladin, why?)

I’d say either the Blue lion or the Black lion. Blue because she’s the first lion we were introduced to and I’m just...I’m still peeved about her being the “training lion.” Like, give Blue more credit. And Black because uhh, WINGS.

Do you have a favorite villain?

I’m gonna go with Haggar! I find her intriguing and I always get so hyped whenever she’s on screen, because she’s my evil bitch wife and I love her.

Do you have a favorite Alien Race (Recurring and/or minor)

I like the Arusians! I just think they’re a lot of fun. Pffftt.

Favorite side/other character(s) - Rebels, Generals, Blade of Marmora, Garrison, etc?

Freaking Varkon. LOL. Space mall cop has my heart. But the generals are really cool and I hope we see more of them.

How/Why did you join the fandom?

I hadn’t been part of a fandom for awhile and was curious to look up some fanart, so that really sucked me in. And then I really got into Shallura and started drawing again. But I also joined because of Josh Keaton and Bex Taylor Klaus! I loved how involved they were in the fandom and I just really adore the both of them (and the rest of the cast!) It’s always so nice to know how much the cast adores the show as much as the fans do.

Care to share your favorite headcanon?

Hngnh, of course I can’t think of any good headcanons off the top of my head. But I always thought Hunk having two moms was really cute. Oh, oh. And Allura, Shiro, and Lance being bisexual. Yep. I also liked Josh’s headcanon about Shiro being raised by a grandfather, and that could be a reason for his whole “patience yields focus” thing. And how he’s sort of an old soul in some regards.

What do you think is the best part of the show?

THE CHARACTERS. I never considered myself a big fan of space war shows/movies (even though I love learning about space), but I fell in love with the characters and their different dynamics. They all compliment each other well and I just love seeing them interact with each other. Their voice actors are just so amazing at what they do and really bring them to life. Anytime we see them bonding and having a good time with each other, I’m happy and that’s when I enjoy the show the most.

Any hopes and wishes for future episodes/seasons?

/cries into the abyss

I want OG Shiro to come back, and I hope that Kuron remains unscathed in the end (assuming he’s a clone and not just Shiro).

I hope we get the original lineup back. It bothers me that they don’t match their lions, and if Shiro doesn’t get to stay in the Black lion, I’ll just be...so confused. He deserves to stay with his lion in the end. They’re bonded, dude. Don’t take that away from the mentally ill character. It would honestly be a slap to the face.

I WANT MORE HUNK. PLEASE.

It’s a stretch to ask for Klance and Shallura, but hey, it’s a wish.

I honestly would like Zarkon to come back, but I don’t think that’s happening. LOL. I had really hoped for a showdown between Zarkon/Shiro and Allura/Haggar since they were foils.

ALLURA TO USE HER ALCHEMY AHHH.

I’d love some Shallutor, please and thanks. Also a wish and probably not realistic, but I can dream.

A showdown between Allura and Haggar. I’m 99% sure this is going to happen, but it’s one of the things I look forward to most.

Shiro to get a new Altean prosthetic!

Krolia better not die, or I’m suing for unnecessary Keith angst. We literally just got her. Let Keith be happy for like, more than five minutes. Or how about for at least five minutes, ffs. I’m over it. I miss season 1 Keith. He was awkward, hotheaded, but endearing.

For Lance to realize he’s fine just the way he is and doesn’t need to follow in Keith’s footsteps in order to be successful, or a better paladin.

UHH. CAN I GET SOME BACKSTORY AND LOVE FOR CORAN? DAMN.

And lastly, I want Allura and Coran to be able to actually grieve for more than two seconds. Jeez.

Do you think you’ll stick it out until the end of the show?

I know I will, even if things in the show don’t live up to my expectations. I understand that things aren’t going to go 100% the way I want them to, and I’m prepared for that. But I know I’ll be curious as to how things turn out for our characters and I’ve invested way too much time into this show to just drop it.

It would be kinda nice if I could just let myself drop the show though, so I wouldn’t have so much anxiety every time a new season’s about to drop. Rip my nerves.

Alright, I’mma tag these people! But don’t feel pressured to fill this out or anything! Hope the remaining days waiting for Voltron treats you well! :)

@babyfairybaekhyun @shiroganesallura @shiroallura @kitbit @ahumanintraining @immaculate-messes @levish5 @allurahimesama @celestialfluff @roguepaladin

#casey rambles #quiz #voltron #vld #voltron ask #tags #littlespacestars

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mormonmommyphilosopher-blog · 3 years

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My Abuser

I have gone back and forth for years about whether I ever wanted to share about my abuse in my blog. Today, while eating breakfast, it hit me, and I realized that I needed to. Not just for myself, but for anybody whom is currently going through what I am, or maybe is still being abused and doesn't know what to do about it.

My abuser, like most, was someone very close to me—a family member and someone I felt very connected to. However, the relationship was toxic, and was for my whole life. Only 3 and ½ years ago did I finally face my abuse, and my abuser, and end the relationship. The abuse was going on for over 21 years. And before it started with me, it happened with someone else—until that person realized she was being abused and got out of the situation—and then it transferred to me.

So much of what kept me from sharing my abuse story, is that sexual abuse, like mental illness, is still something that is taboo to talk about. But here we are.

To start, my sexual abuse was not all physical. To clarify beyond that, the abuse wasn't even physical molestation. My abuser molested me mentally and emotionally, by talking about my body, in teasing, joking, and praising my physical beauty—my breasts, my “voluptuous” shape, my sex appeal, and also about his body—how well-endowed he was, his sexual experiences, what turned him on, etc.

The physical touch only accompanied the verbal abuse—resting his hands on my waist/hips, rubbing and squeezing my things, and hugging me so tight that my breasts pressed hard against his chest. The last straw with the physical touch was at a family Thanksgiving party.

At every chance he got to hug me, I was sitting down, and he would slide his right hand, fingers spread, groping, all the way up my left thigh to my bottom. My husband, Jack, watched in horror as this person was grooming him to see how far he could push the limits without Jack intervening.

However, because this person was so loved and defended by me my whole life, Jack never reacted. Only after I was sobbing on the way home from the party and couldn't let Jack even put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, did he tell me that I needed to tell this person how I felt.

The rest of the way home from the party in Perry, Ut to our home in Layton, half an hour away, I spent my time writing a letter over social media messenger to this person about how I felt. I told him how uncomfortable I was and about how I couldn't even let my husband touch me because I was so upset. My letter was met with an apology that I felt the way that I did, but that those were not his intentions and that he only ever had the purest intentions toward me.

After this incident, I decided to speak to a therapist to help me figure out what to do. Especially where, not only was this family member sexually abusing me, but had started grooming my 3 year old daughter.

At parties or visits, he would take my beautiful, little blonde, blue eyed daughter away from the group so that he could be with her alone—whether it was in her room, outside, or another room in the house, he wanted to be alone with her, and felt entitled to be.

Not only this, but the dirty jokes and teasing about my body started coming out while my daughter was around. He doted on her. He gave her gifts. He praised her for everything she did. He posted pictures of her on social media of them spending time together and about how beautiful she was and about how they must be kindred spirits and must have known each other in the previous life, etc.. Anything that I ever posted about her on social media, he would go on and on about her to the point that several people reached out to me and my husband to be wary of the way he was acting toward our daughter and that it wasn't normal.

For awhile, when my daughter was about 18 months old, I went back to work and even let my abuser babysit her, even though I knew what he was capable of. I don't know why I trusted that he wouldn't do anything to her, but these narcissistic abusers are very capable of persuasion, making your fears about them seem petty, and even that you, yourself, are the one in the wrong. There's a word for that—it's called “gaslighting.”

I still beat myself up for letting my abuser tend my little daughter, and then just letting him be around her for as long as I did in general. I don't know if he ever touched her, and there have never been any indications, that I noticed, that she was ever abused. Regardless, I will still never forgive myself for letting him be alone with her.

Four months after the Thanksgiving incident, I finally wrote my abuser a letter to cut ties with him. Before you read on, be aware that it is somewhat graphic. I have edited to censor names.

March 11, 2018

It is with so much pain and sorrow that I begin this letter. I'm not even really sure where to start. After months of deliberation, the last two weeks of discussions with my therapist, making lists, soul searching, scripture study, prayer, and the last two days of an emotional breakdown of battling my strong answer given weeks ago from my Heavenly Father versus my natural, temporal emotions, I have come to the very difficult decision to ask you to no longer be a part of mine or my family's lives.

I never want to see you again. And it's not because I hate you. Lord, help me! It's because I love you so much! I love you unconditionally. And I know that if I saw you, all of the good times would come flooding back, and I would want to change my mind! But as much as I love you, I have to remember my first priority. And that is to my family. To my little girl and being her parent. Her protection is my responsibility.

After what happened this last Thanksgiving, among other things, all of the memories of you saying and doing inappropriate things started resurfacing in my mind. I decided that I really needed to talk to a therapist about it. I've talked to Jack and a couple of close friends about some of the things that you have done in the past and none of them have been able to understand why I keep seeing you and especially why I keep taking risks with [my daughter]. I think Jack has always just trusted my judgment and figured that I would keep [my daughter] safe and not let you and [my daughter] be alone together. But when he found out that you like to have “one on one” time with her as often as you do, that really worried him.

From an early age you exposed me to a lot of sexual information. You let me watch sex scenes on TV and in movies. You told me about the birds and the bees in graphic detail. Once, right after I sneezed when I was a little girl, you told me that sneezing was an eighth of an orgasm. You told me what the “get yourself a spin cycle” joke meant from the movie “The Great Outdoors” when I hadn't even asked what it meant. You told me a story of a lady who used to put peanut butter on her vagina and let her dog lick it off in her kitchen and one time her husband and all of their mutual friends walked in on her.

You told me that you had the biggest penis of all of your brothers and then told me whom ranked next all the way down the line. You told me that I had a “gum drop” nose and when I didn't understand what you meant, you explained it to me that it meant it looked like the head of a penis. You showed me a container of something once, and told me that that was how big your penis was.

When I was in the third grade, I tried on some new pants and you told me that my butt looked good in them and that all the boys in my class would like how good my butt looked in them. After puberty you talked about how I had a nice heart shaped butt, and big boobs like my mom. Since then, most of the inappropriate talk has been about my breasts and their size. How I'm a “poor girl” because I have my “mom's curse.” “Ample food supply for [my daughter],” etc..

When I was about 16, [my sister] and I were changing in the blue room at Grandma's house, and [my brother] was being a punk and kept knocking on the door to bug us, but we kept shouting at him to tell him that we were changing, when all of a sudden someone barged in. We thought it was [my brother], but it was you. Later you said that you didn't see anything except for my butt and the side of my boob.

You told Me and [my sister] that you “knew” that I shaved “downstairs” and that she didn't when we were teenagers. There are many other situations, but these are just a few of the examples off the top of my head.

You have also touched/rubbed my thighs on many occasions. It used to really bother [my high school sweetheart] and now it really bothers Jack. I have asked you stop both the inappropriate talk and touch before and you haven't. Not only that, but you have switched the issue back onto me as if I am the one with a touching/privacy problem—that I am just a “private person.”

I won't mention all of the other things that I have heard that have happened with [the person you abused before me], [my sister], and with [my brother] on the matter of sexual inappropriateness. This is not what this letter is about, however I think that they are some things that you should personally reflect on and try to repent for.

Again, I love you unconditionally. I've obviously been able to overlook all of those things up until this point because we have continued to have a close relationship where we talk and visit each other on a regular basis. But what happened on Thanksgiving shook me to my core. Not only was your hand continually sliding up my thigh with every hug you gave me, but there was also the fact that Jack saw what was going on, noticed how upset that I was, but didn't feel like he could do anything about it because of how much I get after him about needing to be nice to you. I cried the whole way home, and couldn't let Jack touch me at all for the rest of the night.

I will always remember the good times, I promise. I will remember watching Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings with you. I will remember our discussions about books and music and movies. I will remember the camping, hunting, and fishing trips. I will remember all of the special, little, nice things that you've done for me, [my daughter], and Jack.

I will remember all of the choir concerts and programs that you've come to. Don't think for a second that I have forgotten all of these things! I have shed so many tears in coming to this decision. And I know you love [my daughter]. I know you love her so much. And I am so so sorry. But I am doing what I believe is best for her. Because you care about her so much, I know that you will understand me doing everything that I think is necessary to keep her safe. My heart is as heavy as I can ever remember it being right now.

I love you so much. And I always, always will.

McKell

My letter was met with anger--accusing me of being crazy and a liar. I was told that no one would believe me, that I knew what I was doing was wrong and that it would break my grandma's heart to know that I could do such a thing.

I took his response as confirmation that I was absolutely doing the right thing. Not only was my abuser a pedophile and a sexual pervert, but a narcissist as well. And even just getting out of a relationship with a narcissist is a healthy step in the right direction.

I meant to keep the situation quiet and continue to have relationships with the rest of my family members on that side of the family, but my abuser took the matter to as many family members as he could and tried to convince them of my insanity and dishonesty. It breaks my heart to say that very few believed me, and that most everyone took his side, and I was ostracized from my family. Does it hurt like hell? Yes. Do I regret it? No. I know with all my heart that I did the right thing. I know that I'm protecting myself and both my now 6 year old daughter, and my 2 year old daughter as well.

About 6 months to a year after I cut ties with my abuser, he got in trouble for child pornography. At that point, a few people who were on the fence about whether to believe me or not, decided to believe me. However, surprisingly, so many people still believed him over me, even though I had never done anything to make them think I would lie about something so serious, and he actually has a track record of dishonesty, laziness, and stealing, among other things.

If anyone who has read this is going through what I've gone through, I am so sorry and I feel for you. Keep going. Know that you're doing the best thing for you and that is perfectly alright. If anyone who has read this and is currently being abused, I urge you to get out of that toxic relationship/situation. It might be so hard, and even life altering, but you're life will be so much healthier. You will feel safer. You will be happier, I promise you.

McKell Hadlock

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