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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 7 months

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"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 15: August II

{{ Chapter 14: July II | Chapter 16: September II }} Chapter Directory

SURPRISE

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✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, explicit descriptions of a panic attack, levi being bad with technology lol, hurt/comfort ✧ word count ➼ ~5.1k

It had only been a day since you denounced Levi as an acceptable roommate, but it felt like ages. Neither of you reached out to each other. There were no texts, no phone calls—nothing. You hadn’t even gone home since then, electing to stay the night at Petra’s. It wasn’t great. You didn’t have your things, it was a last minute call which resulted in Petra not being prepared to suddenly have a guest over, and you were just overall grumpy and anxious. Part of you wished you had just sucked it up and gone home.

When you did finally get yourself to go home and walk in through the door, Levi wasn’t there. It was fairly early into the afternoon, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he was on a shift at the café or in lab. Deciding that shutting yourself in at home would likely have you crawling up the walls by the time Levi got home, you quickly put away the rest of your things that you had haphazardly left out before you abruptly left the previous day, grabbing your laptop and heading to the café shortly afterwards.

Your anxiety had been bugging you non-stop for the past few hours. You were still very much pissed at him, but you were wanting to at least physically see him and apologize for storming off. If things worked out in your favor, he’d be in a much better mood to discuss whatever the hell had led him to regressing so far back. You hated to admit it, but you did care enough about him that you wanted to work to fix your relationship instead of cutting him off and being content with hating each other’s presence.

The frown was more than apparent on your face when you walked into the café and saw Marlo at the tea station instead of Levi. In addition to not being able to talk to Levi about what had happened, you also didn’t have your regular Matcha waiting for you. It was a silly thing to be disappointed over, but not having your comfort drink only further soured your mood.

You sat down in your usual seat, trying your best to not be completely transparent with your mood. Your fight with Levi didn’t have to be anyone else’s problem.

Marlo gave you a confused look when he saw you sit in front of him.

“What? This is my seat.”

It technically wasn’t. It was a public café, so there wasn’t such a thing as assigned seats, but you were in that particular spot nearly every day, so all the staff—and even some of the customers—knew that the seat was effectively yours.

“Oh hey, _____!” you heard Nicolo call out as he made his way over to you. “Picking up more pastries?”

You scoffed at him as if you were questioning if he was seriously asking you that question.

“Don’t act like you don’t know this routine already, Nicolo. Club events don’t start up until a few weeks into the semester,” you said as you pulled your laptop out of your backpack. “Otherwise I’m just here to study.”

“But classes haven’t started yet,” Marlo muttered from behind the counter.

“And to write,” you mumbled while giving Marlo a side-eye.

“Write?” he asked in a genuinely confused tone.

“Unfortunately, this school’s capstone project for me involves publishing a light novel so I’m getting a head’s start,” you explained before you furrowed your eyebrows together as you realized something. “Wait, aren’t you also an English major?”

You looked directly at him and you could feel him somewhat panicking from the judgment in your voice. You vaguely remembered him talking about wanting to do something related to writing that’s involved with the criminal justice system.

“J-Just thinking about it!” Marlo quickly explained. “Haven’t decided anything yet.”

“Well, you should take a look into the school’s requirements. This light novel’s a bitch to get through.”

Despite sounding irritated, the conversation with Nicolo and Marlo did improve your mood. It at least helped distract you from what was really on your mind. Plus, you were able to feel helpful, even mentioning the writing conference in a few weeks to Marlo, suggesting that he attend if he wanted to seriously pursue an English degree.

You were chatting for a while and Levi was almost completely absent from your mind during the conversation itself, but quickly arose again when both Nicolo and Marlo had to get back to work. Your eyes fell onto the empty tea station that was usually tended to by the very person you were trying to keep your mind off of. You could almost imagine him standing there, scowling at nothing in particular, while occasionally glancing up at you once he noticed that you were staring at him.

He wasn’t actually there, though.

You perked up as soon as you heard the door open, immediately turning around to see if it was Levi coming in. Instead, a bunch of freshmen walked in, which earned a disappointed sigh to escape from your lips. You grumpily turned back towards your laptop in an attempt to continue writing, but your anxiety made it impossible to focus. You had been here for almost an hour at this point and you had written three sentences and got stuck in a loop of editing the same sentence five different times, finding yourself regularly alt-tabbing out of your document to check out your socials and scroll. You weren’t getting any work done.

Your eyes immediately flashed up towards the window as you heard a fire truck rush past. You silently thanked yourself that you were indoors to save your ears from the obnoxious siren that you would have been forced to endure had you been outside.

Fuck me if I’ve left the hair straightener on again or some shit like that.

Curious and slightly paranoid, and with the fire truck far away enough to not cause you hearing damage, you stepped outside, and let out a sigh of relief when you saw that the fire truck was not heading in the direction of your apartment.

However, your relaxed state didn’t last for long. Your eyes widened as you saw the fire truck make a turn towards Levi’s lab. You felt your heart rate hasten, but you took an unsteady breath, trying to calm yourself down. Just because they were driving in that direction did not mean that his building was their destination.

You tried to shrug off your anxiety, but it was bugging you to death. You pulled out your phone and shot a text to Levi.

> [you (2:55pm)]: levi, are you in lab right now?

You stared at your phone for a few minutes. There was no answer. There wasn’t even a read receipt.

You dialed his number and called.

There was no answer.

You felt yourself somewhat panicking after you were unable to get ahold of Levi. You didn’t have a car and it was too long of a walk to just casually go to his lab to check if he was okay. You continued to try to regulate, telling yourself that there were plenty of buildings in that direction and that you were just having “what if” thoughts.

This calmed you down for approximately ten seconds before you remembered that his building is the only one that was really being used because it was still summer. Classes weren’t in session and students hadn’t moved in yet. Almost all of the buildings in that area were out of function for at least another week.

You rapidly paced around in circles outside of the café, unable to contain the panic that was quickly building up within you. Your thoughts immediately began snowballing into wondering how Levi would be able to get out if the entire building went up in flames and that initial thought alone was able to immediately send you into a state of panic.

Realizing that catastrophizing while being restless outside wasn’t going to do anything, you tried to take a few deep breaths and went back inside. However, if you couldn’t focus before, then you really couldn’t focus now. Everything was beginning to bug you: the coffee machines were too loud, the air conditioning was whirring obnoxiously above you, your eyes hurt from squinting at your laptop screen, and even the feeling of your keyboard under your fingers was killing you. You were overstimulated. You felt like you were hearing every single background conversation within the building.

“Was that really Dr. Smith’s lab that got set ablaze?” you heard one student say.

Your entire body tensed up.

Smith.

Erwin Smith.

That’s the lab that Levi works at.

“Yeah, it looked pretty bad. I hope everyone got out in time,” replied another student.

You felt your heart drop from your chest all the way into your stomach. Your skin grew cold and you felt your ability to breathe rapidly diminishing. Some part of your brain wanted to desperately believe that the student was wrong, or that you had misheard them.

You gave Marlo an intense look.

“Did you hear from Levi at all today?”

Marlo shook his head. You switched your gaze over to Nicolo, who also shook his head.

Feeling your breathing get dysregulated, you knew that a panic attack was approaching. Your hands were shaking as they hovered over your keyboard. You could barely keep yourself together. You had to leave. You had to go home and hope that Levi would come home. You had to know if he was okay.

The thought of something happening to him made you want to break down and cry on the spot. You didn’t want his last thought of you to be such a negative one. You didn’t want to lose him. You didn’t want your words of denouncing him and stating that you regretted agreeing to live with him again to be the last ones he heard from you.

You had lied the previous night when you told Petra that you wouldn’t give a shit if you never saw Levi again. The thought now devastated you. You wouldn’t be able to rest until you knew if he was okay—and you’d be absolutely horrified had something actually happened to him.

~~~~~

Going home didn’t make you feel much better. The only thing that helped was that you were alone, so that you could technically break down in a safe space if needed, but you didn’t want that either.

You had rushed home, tossed your backpack onto the couch, and immediately ran to the freezer to grab an ice cube. You held it tightly in your hand, trying to focus on the somewhat burning-like sensation that it was creating in your palm as it melted. You were sitting at the dining room table, holding your fist over the table, not caring that there was now a puddle of melted water forming underneath your fist.

Your leg was bouncing up and down and you were still shaking. Holding the ice cube was painful as fuck, but you had to grip onto it tightly. If you let it go for even a second, you’d already feel yourself dissociating. You barely remembered the walk home—everything was a blur, your eyes were out of focus, and you couldn’t hear anything except for the blood rushing through your ears.

I couldn’t be bothered if I never had to interact with him ever again.

You spoke those words to Petra less than 24 hours ago.

You felt tears building at the corners of your eyes as the lump in your throat began to rise up. What if your comment had jinxed it?

What if you really did see him for the last time?

Suddenly all the memories of him being there for you began to flash through your head. You remembered him coaxing you through an anxiety attack. You remembered him staying by your side when you were dealing with nightmares. You remembered him coming to rescue you from your borderline abusive ex-boyfriend.

And all of that was just…gone.

You squeezed at the ice cube harder, swallowing down your tears. You couldn’t fathom losing him too. You hadn’t even fully processed the death of your parents, and imagining losing Levi too was too much to bear.

You kept glancing down at your phone every time it lit up, hoping that it was a text from Levi. You didn’t even care if he sent you a text message full of insults meticulously designed to upset you. You just needed to hear that he was okay.

Instead, you were met with notifications from your various social media accounts, talking about some dumb party happening over the weekend or how upsetting the most recent episode of a drama was. It was driving you nuts, and you ended up having to turn all your notifications off other than direct messages. It took you much longer than it should have. You couldn’t stop your shaking.

You went through so many ice cubes that your hands were red and in pain and your fingers were so cold that you felt like you could barely move them. Every second that passed by was agonizing. You felt all of your muscles tense, shooting pain throughout every inch of your body, but you couldn’t get yourself to relax.

Your head shot up immediately upon hearing the door handle. Your lips slightly parted as you fixated your gaze intensely at the door.

As soon as you saw his stupid, short figure step instead, you immediately stood up. Your movements were so rough that your chair made a sound of protest against the floor as you roughly forced it back. Part of you was scared to relax. You wondered if it was a hallucination—an image conjured up by your mind to help you process through the distress. Your breathing was unsteady as you tried to contain your shaking.

When you realized he was real, you felt as if all the air in your body was rushing back into you. You were still shaking, but you could at least now ground yourself in his presence.

He was okay.

The relief threatened to engulf you and swallow you whole.

“Hi,” you said abruptly.

“Hi?” he said hesitantly, raising his eyebrow at your strange behavior.

You had to force yourself to look down to keep yourself from crying out in relief that he was here standing out in front of you. You heard him take a step forward.

You didn’t give him a chance to take another. You immediately rushed in, wrapping your arms around his neck, squeezing him in a tight hug as your tears finally fell. You buried your face into his shoulder, continuing to hold onto him tightly to reassure yourself that he was still there.

You had tried to hold yourself back, but you were so overwhelmed and so relieved that your body reacted before you had a chance to think about it or stop it from happening.

Your bottom lip quivered as you let out an unsteady breath.

“I-I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You were afraid that you were going to break into a full-on sob if you spoke any louder.

Levi froze under you, his eyes widening in shock, not expecting the sudden gesture, especially with how the two of you had fought the previous day.

He didn’t pull away. You felt his arms wrap around you, resting his hands on the back of your waist as you trembled against him.

You tightened your hug on his shoulders, as if you were afraid that he was going to disappear into dust the moment you let go. You took it back. You took it all back. You were lying when you said that you’d be okay with never seeing him again. Imagining that felt like literal hell.

Now that you had him in front of you again, you never wanted to let go. You felt his hands on your waist, his heart beating against yours, and his breathing that helped stabilize yours. You still hadn’t fully processed how relieved you were when you saw him walk in through the door.

You began to pull away, but you immediately pulled him back in shortly after, except this time, you planted your lips on his. You pulled him into a gentle, but deep kiss, as if you were wanting to communicate all the heartbreak and relief that you had felt throughout the past few hours through just the kiss itself. His lips were soft, just like you had imagined that one night when the two of you were on the Ferris Wheel. You recognized the earthy scent of his bedsheets that was much stronger now that you were up against him.

Before you could freeze upon realizing what you had done, you felt him return the kiss. He was surprisingly gentle as he further pressed his own lips upon yours, which made your heart pound with…excitement? Anxiety? Regret?

That ripped you out of your stupor and you immediately froze and drew back, holding your fingers up to your lips in horror at what you had just done.

“S-Sorry-”

You immediately averted your gaze, your face feeling hot, taking a few steps back. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to describe the horror coursing through your veins.

If you had gathered the courage to look up, you’d see that his cheeks also had a hint of red to them, traveling up to the back of his ears. You could tell that he was standing agonizingly still.

He remained silent. He didn’t know what to say, and neither did you. You had been so caught up in the moment of relief of knowing that he was okay that you had impulsively pulled him into a hug and then a kiss without even giving yourself a moment to process what you were doing.

The silence was killing you. The tension from your fight before had been quickly replaced with another.

You cleared your throat and forced yourself to talk—a distraction, if nothing else.

“H-Heard there was a fire at lab.”

It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Yeah?” he muttered.

His voice was husky, likely from inhaling smoke. Now that you thought about it, in addition to that earthy scent you drew comfort from, there was also a hint of smoke mixed in. You quickly realized that he was likely walking through the smoke that was now clinging onto his clothing.

“Do…Do you want water?” you asked hesitantly. “I’ll get you water.”

Without even giving him a chance to respond, you turned and made a beeline to the kitchen to prep a glass of water for him, barely able to contain your shaking enough to hold the glass still against the dispenser.

He rarely got to see you in a caregiver-type mode, other than the few comments you’d make about the freshmen needing to be responsible when going out to parties. He never gave you a chance to.

He was too in his head to notice. Everything was overwhelming. He was still in survival mode after watching the lab go up in flames, although the feeling of your lips on his was able to somewhat rip him out of his thoughts and back into the present world. If he wasn’t in survival mode, he probably would have reacted much more to the kiss—and the fact that he had kissed you back.

It was probably for the best. Even if he did react, he didn’t know what to say, but he couldn’t deny that it helped him calm down enough to make his way to the dining room table and take a seat.

You handed him the glass of water and sat down next to him.

You remained silent for a few minutes, wondering if you should talk about what had just happened. You knew the answer: yes, you did have to talk about it, but you decided against it. You glanced up at him, originally thinking he was just quiet about the kiss, but upon seeing his body posture and facial expression, you knew that something else was going on. He was incredibly tense and quiet, and his eyes weren’t entirely focused. You had never seen him in this state.

“What happened?” you asked quietly.

He looked at you with a grim expression.

“...something wasn’t plugged in properly or something,” he muttered, moving his gaze down from your eyes towards his hand that was now resting on the table.

“Everyone got out okay?”

He nodded.

You let out a sigh of relief upon the reassurance that everyone had got out safely, but you quickly realized that Levi did not look relieved at all.

“Lev’...?” you asked hesitantly.

He turned his head slightly to the side, further avoiding your gaze.

You had a sneaking suspicion over what it was that he might have been upset about. After all, Levi was always talking about his papers and how easily he’d fall behind if he wasn’t diligent. Plus, Levi was not one to get upset easily.

Levi never talked about his financial struggles in undergrad, so you weren’t aware of all of the details behind his mixed emotions towards the higher education system, but you knew that he busted his ass to get to where he was and that he’d be absolutely devastated if all of that were to just suddenly disappear.

“Where’s your phone?” you began asking, probing him to see if your suspicions were right.

No response.

“Your laptop?”

Still no response.

“Lev’-”

“Can you cut it out with the fucking questions already?!” he scolded, finally speaking up and cutting you off. You saw him clench up his fist and grit his teeth. He was desperately trying to hold himself together.

Part of you wanted to be hurt by his harshness and dismissive tone. Part of you wanted to be offended, but you knew he was hurting.

You immediately got up, and Levi looked further away, assuming that you were going to storm out of the apartment or lock yourself in your room because you got offended.

His breath got caught in his throat when you instead pulled him into another hug, this time holding his head against your chest.

“It’s okay,” you whispered as you held him tightly. “You can ask for help if you need it, Levi. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Those words hit close to home for him—because he really did have to go through everything on his own. His mom passed away when he was a kid and his uncle was useless and negligent. Every step that he had taken towards getting to where he was now was taken on his own.

He remained quiet as he listened to your heart beating against your chest. It was taking everything to hold himself together, but he couldn’t deny that having you against him brought him a slight sense of calm that was enough to keep him from falling apart right then and there.

“...don’t need your help,” he mumbled, shrugging you off.

He’s always had to do things on his own. This wasn’t any different.

You squatted down in front of him so that he couldn’t keep avoiding your gaze, looking at him directly in those pained gray eyes of his.

“You’re lying.”

He looked away.

You leaned towards him so that he couldn’t fully avoid your gaze no matter how hard he tried.

“Even if you didn’t need my help, you lost both your phone and your laptop. What else did you lose?”

He remained silent as he clenched his fist in irritation. All he needed right now was for you to go away so he could figure this whole ordeal out.

“Levi Ackerman, if you think I’m a pain in the ass at baseline, you can be certain I’ll be 100x more of a pain in the ass if you don’t talk now.”

You rarely showed this side of you. Even when you were in “mom mode” around the freshmen, it was always muted down. You’ve generally suppressed this side of you because other people generally thought it was annoying, but you were sick of pretending. You were sick of putting on that submissive façade for everyone else’s benefit except your own.

Plus, it allowed you to distract yourself from the fact that you had impulsively kissed him.

Levi’s lips parted to speak, but it took a few seconds before any actual words came out.

“...the papers are gone,” he said quietly. “All the papers and data and research I’ve gathered. Just fucking…gone.”

His voice was slightly wavering towards the end. If you looked closer, you could see that he was even shaking, likely from a mix of overwhelm, rage, and despair. He really was pouring all of his energy into keeping himself together. You could understand why he would be distraught.

“What did you save them on?”

Levi scoffed in disbelief at your continued questioning.

“Does it fucking matter?! My entire laptop went down. Everything saved on there is gone.”

You didn’t back off.

“Answer the question,” you said sternly.

He finally looked up at you, bewildered with your persistence.

“Word,” he said after a long pause, accompanied with a glare shot in your direction. “Microsoft Word.”

“Is it a school account that you use for it?”

He blinked at you in confusion.

“Why the hell does that-”

He was interrupted by you snapping in his eyes to get his attention.

“Answer the question, for fuck’s sake.”

He clenched his jaw as he stared at you in disapproval. He had never seen you like this and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“Yes, it’s a school account,” he whispered, still unsure of why you were asking. “What’s your point?”

You didn’t answer him, immediately going over to the couch and pulling out your own computer. You came back and set it on the dining table, taking care to avoid the little puddle of water that had formed from when you were desperately squeezing the ice cubes earlier.

He didn’t see what you were exactly doing, but he vaguely saw you pull up a web browser version of Microsoft OneDrive.

You pushed your laptop towards him.

“Log in.”

He just stared at you without making a move towards your computer, skeptical as to what you were trying to do.

“Fire alarms give you hearing loss?” you said in an exasperated tone. “Log in.”

He still shot you a skeptical look, but eventually went to type in his login information.

The frown immediately disappeared off his face and you saw his eyes slightly lighten up upon seeing nearly all of his files show up on the screen.

“It likely didn’t sync anything too recent if the internet went out, but at least everything from before should be there.”

He slightly glanced at you, unsure of what to say. You had literally saved his ass.

Part of you forgot that although he didn’t seem like it, Levi was not the best when it came to navigating modern technology. You even recalled when you first moved in with him and you essentially had to fist fight him to let you set up an automated payment system for rent and utilities.

You gave him an awkward nod and shuffled around a bit, suddenly self-conscious now that his eyes were on you and the immediate tension had dissipated.

“My laptop went down at some point before the whole…thing with Zack happened,” you began to explain, pausing slightly when you brought up what you now simply deemed as The Shitshow™. “Thought I lost all of my work on my light novel and that I’d have to start over. Found out the school has a cloud system…so as long as your main account is logged into on your laptop, it’ll upload.”

He was silent as his hand gently hovered over your keyboard.

“And the school will be willing to help finance a new laptop for you,” you continued, “or at least to let you use one of theirs when needed.”

No explanation was needed. Even from the minimal amount of information that you were giving him, he could tell that you previously had to navigate your way through the school resources for crises.

“...thanks,” he finally mumbled after a while.

Your eyes widened. You had genuinely not expected a direct thanks from him.

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes flashed between him and your laptop screen.

“I…”

You shut your mouth after you trailed off. Now that the immediate disaster was handled, the other disaster came to mind: your shared kiss.

You wondered if you should bring it up, and so did he.

“...I’ll give you some time to sort through everything,” you eventually said, deflecting the potential topic. “I want my laptop back eventually though.”

You pointed at your laptop, shooting a small half-smile at him to try to lighten the mood.

He nodded and began clicking through his files.

“_____,” he quietly called out right after you got up and began walking towards your room. “Thanks.”

He thanked you again and you smiled at him this time.

“Don’t mention it,” you responded quietly before turning back towards your room.

Once the door was shut behind you, you collapsed face-up onto your bed, staring at the ceiling fan.

The past few hours had been a complete emotional rollercoaster. You had gotten into a fight last evening, been anxious literally all night, morning, and afternoon, had panicked over if he had gotten hurt in the fire, been anxious again from waiting, before kissing him and jumping into caregiver mode right after.

Your face completely flushed up again upon realizing that you had kissed him. A part of you was really embarrassed, but a bigger part of you was just confused.

He had kissed you back.

If he didn’t, you’d be able to just write it off as high emotions and that you were reacting out of instinct or that you didn’t have another outlet to express your relief that he was okay—but he did kiss you back. Now, you’d be forced to explore whatever the hell that meant.

You couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at the corners of your lips as you remembered the feeling of his soft lips on yours and his firm grasp on your back during it. You couldn’t help but draw comfort from how it felt when you had your arms wrapped around him as you impulsively embraced him. Chaos had literally just struck your lives, yet the feeling of him on you was enough to bring you some sense of calm during the middle of it.

No matter what else you told yourself, or what else you tried to do to distract yourself, you couldn’t get the feeling of his lips on yours out of your head.

aight so 1) the publish early option on the poll won, and 2) consider this an apology for making july so angsty skdfjksdjf #: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @alexkibutsuji @moonchild-angel

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ivy-loves-chocolate · 1 year

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Note: why I did this? I don’t know, thought it be cute. I also made these dividers cuz I’m an extra bitch✨ (you can use them if you want).

Anyway, I hope you’ll like it! If you have suggestions feel free to drop them in the ask box! If you want to support of commission me, visit my ko-fi page. Thank you! 💖

To be honest, he kinda knew from the start because he did some research before dating you. Still, he waited for you to tell him.

From then on, he kept asking about your kid: how he did in school, if you wanted to put him in some private schools, etc. He was willing to pay the tuition and every other expense.

You asked yourself how he was willing to do so much for a kid he hadn’t met yet. Well, Wesker liked you very much and wanted to show his support for both you and your child.

When the relationship advanced and you felt that he had serious intentions, you arranged a meeting with him and your child. Wesker likes children, they’re the only thing he doesn’t despise. He even babysat Sherry.

Your child thought the guy was a bit weird because he was always wearing sunglasses. They also thought he was arrogant and cold, but after a while, they bonded. It’s safe to say that Wesker bought his way into their hearts, but deep down he cared for your wellbeing and showed it how he knew: with tons of gifts and holidays.

He likes to spend time with you two and is an incredible father figure to your kid, contrary to your beliefs. You feel lucky to have met him.

He always wanted kids, but because of his job, he couldn’t have one. He was afraid that he’d neglect them and didn’t want to take the risk.

However, you started dating and things got serious, so he had to meet your child eventually. Let me tell you that they instantly bonded. Chris is a loveable guy with a great personality. He knows how to lighten up the mood with his laid-back attitude and silly jokes.

You two came slowly into his life, and he accepted you with his whole heart. You ended up living together, and he fully embraced his role as a father figure in their life. He takes them to school, makes them lunch, and occasionally he’ll teach them some combat moves.

He won’t talk about his work too much, but he will gladly listen about your and your kid’s day. He likes to end the day with all three of you together on the couch, watching a movie and even falling asleep.

He’ll take care of you as well. Too tired to gather the toys from the floor? Say no more, he’ll put them where they belong. Too tired to cook? No worries, years of bachelor life taught Chris how to cook, and he will make you the finest meals. He'll also help them with homework and projects. Chris is a very reasonable man who doesn't fear commitment.

Well, this man never thought about having kids. He thought he’d be single all of his life, and that was until he met your little family.

He wasn’t scared of the thought that you’re a single mom, and he wanted to continue the relationship because he really felt a connection between the two of you. Besides, he could get used to some extra company because he feels lonely sometimes.

The kid was excited when he heard that Leon is a government agent, and from that moment on, he was the coolest person (besides his mom) in his life. He couldn't brag about it to everyone else, but it was cool, 'cuz it was their little secret. Oh, did I mention that he takes the little one to school on his motorcycle? Yeah, he spoils the kid a lot.

Hed be busy with missions most of the time, but he’ll make it up when he comes home with a movie night, a game night, or a small trip to spend time together, as you choose.

Same as Wesker, he will try to put your kid in the fanciest school in the country. Working with the government, he has connections everywhere; why not use them for something good?

You met him at a single-parent support group. After Mia was gone, he was a little panicked because he didn’t know if he would be able to play both roles in Rose’s life. You were there for the same reason, so you bonded quickly. You liked his sense of humor and the fact that he was determined to learn how to manage being a single dad.

He is happy with your relationship because he already pictures your child and Rose playing together. You have so much in common, and after one date, you’ll quickly rush home—not to do dirty things but to watch photos of your kids and share memories of them.

He and Rose will accept both of you into their life, being happy that you will expand the family. Rose always wanted a sibling, because she felt a little lonely, and Ethan, well, he always wanted more kids.

Ethan wanted to adopt a guard dog just to scare away any possible intruders. He’ll train him well to protect the family and do silly tricks.

He is the handyman around the house. He likes doing it and will teach the kids if they’re curious. You, on the other hand, will be the designer, as Ethan doesn't seem to have an artistic eye (he confuses the colors, he can't decide on the aesthetic of the house, and he will end up buying tons of stuff that won't fit anywhere because in his head it worked).

He always wanted a big family for himself, but he couldn't focus on that because of his job. However, after Racoon City, as if by faith, he met you, a loveable single mom looking for some fun.

Oh, you and Carlos had a ton of fun together. The guy was always looking to spend time with you, from going on dates to skydiving.

However, things got serious. You both started to develop feelings for each other, and it was time to tell Carlos about your kid. You expected him to run away, but you were surprised to see how happy and relaxed he was.

Your kid liked Carlos, especially his hair, and they bonded instantly. He won't say no, even to the dumbest ideas. Marshmallow eating contest? He'll agree to it without a second thought, even if he ends up with a stomach ache. Wanna play some games on the console or PC all night? He'll say yes. Still, he can be responsible when needed.

He fully embraces the role of a father figure and will try to have more kids with you. As I said, he always wanted a big family. Brace yourself, he’ll do anything he can to give you that baby fever.

He always wanted a family, but he couldn’t because of his lifestyle. So, naturally, when he heard that you have a kid, he was somehow scared because he knew what kind of implications that required. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to provide you with physical and emotional support. However, you took it slowly, getting to know each other, during which time Luis thought about the possibility of being a stepfather.

You both agreed that it was time for him and the kid to meet, and let me tell you that they loved him. They loved his personality, his jokes, his accent, his outfit, everything.

He’d be there first to give them advice when theyd have problems, either emotional or school- or career related. He’ll also become more family-oriented and try to spend more time with you.

Luis is also very romantic, so when the kid falls asleep, he'll put on some music and pour two glasses of wine. He'll slow dance with you in the living room, whispering in your ear with that sweet accent of his how lucky he is to have both of you in his life.

He was lost before he met you, but now he has a purpose.

He didn’t picture himself with a kid. He always saw himself as a loner, as someone who didn’t fit in no matter where he went. That was until he met you. A gentle, caring soul who saw past his "tough guy" mask.

He knew from the start that you had a kid, and that scared him a bit. He began to wonder if he and your child would get along if the relationship got serious.

The first meeting was a little awkward, but they bonded in the end. Jack was a little distant, but that was his personality anyway. He spoilt the brat however he could. With visits at his work, in the weapons department, etc. He even taught him some knife tricks, despite your protests. It was your little secret.

Even if he has trouble showing it, he cares about you very much. Even if he is emotionally distant from time to time, he tries to make up for it, with some family time. He actually asks Leon for advice, but he is just as bad as him.

The thing is that after a lifetime in solidarity, it’s hard to get used to the company, but he loves you two very much and is willing to learn how to open himself and how to get used to you.

#resident evil #albert wesker #chris redfield #luis serra #carlos oliveira #krauser #jack krauser #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #ethan winters #fluff

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rose-pearls · 2 years

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Childhood infatuation - Thunder

Summary: Jake Seresin came into your life and showed you what love was all about and you aren't the only one to realise that Jake is the one.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 - Epilogue

She had never expected to fall in love with someone after what happened with Rooster. They hadn’t been together, but her confidence was shattered, and she didn’t know if someone would be able to love her. Her family had always been there, but she wanted to have the kind of love that Ice and Mav had or her parents.

Love came at the most unexpected moment in the form of Jake Seresin, she had heard a lot of things about him but to her surprise he didn’t leave her hanging in the sky like she expected him to. The cocky pilot had asked her on a date and Thunder didn’t know what to do, she was scared that this was all a joke, and that the handsome blond didn’t really like her. But that boy proved her wrong in every single way.

Their first date had been a breath of fresh air after Top Gun training, the dinner he had taken her was small but felt like home. He spent the night making her laugh and blush at his flirty remarks. Jake managed to break down all of her barriers in just one night and every day that followed after that.

She had expected him to do everything in his power to win Top Gun, because she knew he wanted to prove himself, prove to his family that he was enough. Behind that cocky façade she had seen the broken boy trying to please his father, who seemed to never think he was enough. Thunder remembers holding him close to her while he broke down after a particular harsh phone call.

“I’m sorry.”, he had whispered so softly that she had nearly not heard it, but he was wrapped in her arms, so she caught the quiet words.

“Why are you sorry Jake?”, she let go of him to look into his green eyes that always managed to pull her in, he sniffed softly, and she took his cheeks softly trying to reassure him.

“You deserve better than this, I’m a mess.”, she couldn’t believe what he was saying, that man that had been by her side through rough patches, had listened to her story and reassured her that she was worth far more than she thought was telling her that he wasn’t worth it.

“Jake listen to me.”, she made him look into her eyes and she could see tears forming in his eyes.

“You are not a mess, do you understand? You are the man that showed me how worth it love is, letting your guard down even though it could hurt you so much. Sure, you are cocky, but you can back it up goddamnit.”, Jake lets out a teary laugh and she brings his forehead against hers.

“You are so much more than you think you are, and I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have you by my side. I love you, Jake Seresin.”, the pilot looked surprised at her words, but a tender smile appeared on his lips.

“I love you too.”, she feels her heart explodes in her chest of love that she feels for this man.

“I’ll love you through the hard times and through the easy ones, and I’ll be by your side and there to support you through every single thing in your life. I’m so proud of you Jake. And maybe your family can’t see it now, but I’ll make sure that everyone can see the amazing man that you are.”, Jake choked on a sob before bringing her closer to him, letting the words settle in his mind.

Meeting her family after that night seemed like the logical step to take, she could see that he was stressed at the idea, but she could see that he was excited. The barbecue had been better than she expected even with the age-old tension between Jake and Bradley. She never understood what had the two boys in such a disagreement, but she hoped that they could mend fences.

She was looking at Jake talking with her father and her uncles about a certain move that he had seen, and she couldn’t stop smiling at the sight.

“He looks like he’s fitting right in.”, she chuckled at Rooster’s words before looking at him, he had a tense smile.

“He is, I’m glad.”, she can’t help but look back at Jake with a bright grin not seeing Rooster looking at her with sad eyes.

“Are you alright? You seemed in a trance.”, Bradley clears his throat but it’s like the words were stuck in his throat the moment he saw her look back towards Hangman.

“Yeah, just glad to see you so happy.”, a blush formed on her cheeks and Bradley wanted to trail his fingers over it but stopped himself.

“I am happy, I didn’t expect to meet someone at Top Gun you know?”, Bradley nods and she has a shy smile.

“But he came into my life like a flash of thunder and now I don’t know what I would do without him.”, she is looking at Jake again who seems to have seen them together and is frowning before flashing them a big grin.

“You deserve this, having the fairy tale ending.”, she laughs at his words and Bradley wants to make her laugh again, see her bright smile, and hear her joyful laughter.

“You said you wanted to talk to me.”, she is looking at him with worried eyes and Bradley had been ready to tell her that he loves her, that he probably has since a long time but only realized it recently.

“Oh, yeah that – it’s not important, in fact I forgot about it.”, she shakes her head chuckling and looking at him with a fond smile.

“I think he needs you to save him from a long conversation with your father.”, she looks alarmed at the sight of her father going towards Jake at the refreshment table and she tells him a quick thank you before running towards Jake.

She once again misses the heartbroken look on his eyes as he watches her laugh at something Jake says. He knew that he ruined his chance back then, you were happy and that was all that mattered. He rememberes his mom telling him that if you love someone you want them to be happy and that’s all he could want for her, and if Jake was her happiness, then he would put his feelings away. Happy that she was happy even though it was with another, but at least she had that bright smile again and sparkling eyes.

She hugs him tight as her and Jake leave, telling him to not be a stranger before letting Jake take her to the car. Maverick comes next to him and brings him in a side hug.

“You did the right thing.”, he nods slowly before leaving towards his room not able to hide the tears any longer.

I'm not sure if there should be another part or if I end it here but I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

#top gun imagine #top gun x reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster fanfic #rooster fanfiction #rooster x y/n #rooster x you #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x you #jake seresin x you #jake hangman x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x reader

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louisupdates · 1 year

Text

MY FOOTBALL

The One Direction star has two principal loves: Ronaldinho and James Coppinger

FOUR FOUR TWO, MARCH 2023 (by PAUL WILKES)

Which was the first match that you ever went to?

I actually got into football quite late, when I started playing at around 11. There were a few Manchester United fans in the family, so the first match I ever went to was an unbelievable first game: the FA Cup fifth round tie against Arsenal in February 2003 - the match when Sir Alex Ferguson kicked the boot and hit David Beckham! My best memories come from Doncaster, who are the only club I support now. We had a fantastic League Cup run in 2005 - we beat Manchester City on penalties, then beat Aston Villa 3-0 and lost to Arsenal on penalties in the quarter-finals. That was my first real low as a football fan. I can remember walking back home absolutely gutted.

Who was your childhood hero and did you ever meet them?

James Coppinger is my club hero - he played at every level and really played for the badge. Everyone in Donny loves him and he’s a great bloke too. After I got into One Direction, I was lucky to meet him and played alongside him a couple of times in charity games. As a fan growing up watching him, that was amazing l. The best person I’ve ever met in football was Pele. I met him about four or five years ago and it was incredible - he had all these stories and we spoke for ages. He was lovely.

What has been your finest moment playing football?

I played in Soccer Aid and Ronaldinho tried to nutmeg me. I was all over his shirt, giving him no respect, and I just managed to nick the ball off him! There's a sick picture that I've seen of it.

The other moment was when I was about 15. I started as a centre-back, but didn’t grow any taller so moved across to right-back, and scored the only Sunday League goal I ever scored. I’ll never forget it.

What do you like most about going to the match?

The whole atmosphere, that magic. When you have those experiences as a young lad, there’s an element of nostalgia each time you go into a football stadium.

Which players do you admire even though they’ve never played for your club?

As some of my family supported Manchester United, I was never allowed to like Thierry Henry, but those grudge matches against Arsenal were amazing. He was a serious player.

Where’s the best place you’ve ever watched a game?

The Bernabeu - it was Neymar’s first ever Clasico for Barcelona against Real Madrid, which is pretty special. It’s one of the bucket list fixtures to go to. When I was young, Doncaster signed me as a reserve player and I went to a pre-season training camp in Portugal. As a supporter of the club, that’s not something you’re normally privy to, so watching how the squad trained and prepared was fascinating.

A few years ago, you filmed a music video with Bebe Rexha on the pitch at Keepmoat Stadium. What was that like?

It was really important for me and my career. The reason I’m sat here today is because of Doncaster - it’s played a huge role. It’s who I am as a person and it’s what I write songs about. The fact that we were able to film the video at the Keepmoat, where I’ve spent many days and evenings, made it so special. It felt appropriate.

What’s your favourite football book?

It’s not a book, but FourFourTwo! I used to subscribe when I was younger. I’m not a big reader otherwise. I should be, but I’m not.

What’s been your worst experience at a game?

I was playing in a charity match at Celtic Park. I got the ball and turned to my right, then Gobby Agbonkhor come through the back of me and I tore my medial ligament. A combination of the impact and me being very unfit meant I ended up throwing up all over Celtic's stodium, which I know will please a lot of Rangers supporters.

Have any footballers been to a gig?

Paul Pogba came to a One Direction show once, that's the one that stands out - he was really sound. I won’t lie, I don’t think many footballers listen to One Direction songs.

What’s the strangest place you’ve ever met a footballer?

I was in this bar in South America and, purely by chance, Bryan Robson was there with a few friends. He was a bit drunk. We went straight over and he was nice, but it was one of those times where you think, “What is he doing here?!” [Laughs]

What’s the greatest goal you’ve ever seen live?

I was at Zlatan Ibrahimovic's debut for the LA Galaxy, because I spend some time over in Los Angeles. The LAFC keeper launched the ball upfield and it was cleared back to Zlatan about forty yards out. He watched it bounce and then smashed it over the keeper’s head - an unbelievable goal. I love him - I like a bit of s**thousery in my footballers, and he's always had that.

Who’s your current favourite player?

The obvious answer is Erling Haaland, because any fan seeing him rack up the goals this season has been totally in awe. Even if you support Manchester United, you watch him and think he's superb. But for me, Jude Bellingham. I’m so excited by Jude - he's been in brilliant form this season, even before the World Cup.

If you could drop yourself into your all-time five-a-side team, who would you be playing next to?

Well, I play at the back, so I want me and Rio Ferdinand. I'd pick Edwin van der Sar, he was a top keeper in his day, then in midfield I'd have Ronaldinho - I grew up loving his football. Up front, I'll go for Cristiano Ronaldo.

What’s the most important piece of memorabilia that you have?

I had a Doncaster home shirt as a kid that I associate with growing up. A few years ago, I bought the same shirt in my current size - it's special to me, and when I met Pele I asked him to sign it. That was the pinnacle.

[Thanks to TeamLouisMedia for the HD photo.]

links to fourfourtwouk’s posts about Louis on Twitter and Instagram

#four four two #louis tomlinson #louis press #fourfourtwo #transcript #transcription #2 february 2023

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blu-joons · 1 year

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When Their Foreign Partner Gives Birth In Korea ~ Super Junior Reaction

Leeteuk:

A hand brushed through your hair as Jeongsu perched on your hospital bed just beside you. “What’s on your mind?” He quizzed, noticing you staring off into the distance as if you were in a world of your own.

You gave yourself a moment before looking at Jeongsu. “I’m just thinking about how much I wish my family were here with us right now.”

“It must be tough for you,” Jeongsu smiled.

“I just wish they’d been able to come and see us at some point during my pregnancy,” you finally admitted, “I didn’t want it to just be the two of us.”

Jeongsu moved his arm around you, “I wish they were here too.”

“Not all of your family have been able to see us either.”

“You can’t compare my situation to yours,” Jeongu assured you, “my family can get here in a heartbeat if we need them.”

“I think my mum worries sometimes that your mum is around so often, and she’s not,” you confided nervously in Jeongsu.

His heart sank as you spoke, “I’ll make sure that all of your family feel as involved as they can be, just like my family.”

“They’ll be alright, it’s just a lot.”

“We’re all overwhelmed right now.”

Heechul:

Your smile was wide as Heechul encouraged you to pose, holding his phone up and taking a photo of the three of you. “What do you think?” Heechul asked you as he loaded up the photo so that you could take a look.

You nodded approvingly straight away, “my family will be printing that straight away and sticking it up on the fridge at home, I promise.”

“It’s our first family photo,” Heechul noted.

“It’s adorable,” you chuckled as Heechul began to send the photo to your family. “They’re not here, but this feels as good as having them here with us.”

Heechul watched you closely, “they’ll come and visit us soon.”

“I know, we’ve not got too long to wait for them now.”

“Just think when they get here we’ve got babysitting sorted for the week,” Heechul suggested, bringing a laugh out of you.

“I can’t wait to sleep when they come over,” you agreed, taking Heechul by surprise, “we can just rest and let them take control.”

As Heechul placed his phone away he nudged against your side, “they’ll go crazy if we leave them to babysit you know.”

“They’re my parents, I’ll sweet talk them.”

“I like your style.”

Yesung:

You smiled appreciatively across at Jonghoon as he picked up a tissue and wiped underneath your eyes once again. “Don’t fret,” he told you, knowing that you were starting to feel guilty for getting so teary.

A faint chuckle came from you as you tried to get comfortable on your hospital bed. “I didn’t think I was going to cry, how wrong was I?”

“It’s an emotional time,” Jonghoon assured you.

“I didn’t think giving birth would get to me like this,” you confessed, shaking your head, “let alone getting all of these texts from my family missing me.”

Jonghoon nodded back to you, “I bet they’re missing you.”

“I can just picture my mum sobbing reading all these.”

“I’ll make sure to keep them updated,” Jonghoon assured you, “I can’t imagine you being on your phone for much longer.”

“Don’t remind me of what’s to come,” you joked, “it’s bad enough already without knowing they’re all not here too.”

Jonghoon’s smile turned up as he took a hold of your hand, “even if they’re not here, I’m here and I’ll support you Y/N.”

“I’m super lucky that you’re here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Shindong:

A sigh escaped from you as you heard a knock at the door of your suite, glancing across at Donghee. “Who’s here? I thought we asked to make sure that no one interrupted us,” you told him, hanging your head.

Donghee stood up from your bed, making his way across to the suite door. “I’ll have a look and see who it is, I’m sure they’re harmful.”

“Tell them to go away,” you responded.

“That’s not very nice,” a familiar voice told you as Donghee opened up the door, “we’ve travelled halfway around the world to be here for you Y/N.”

Your eyes lit up straight away, “what are you guys doing here?”

“We couldn’t let you give birth all by yourself, could we?”

“I can’t believe it,” you laughed as your mum and dad both rushed to either side of your bed, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“Surprise,” Donghee smiled as he hovered back to give you a few moments with your family, relieved to see your wide smile.

Your eyes flickered to Donghee as he spoke, shaking your head in disbelief. “Did you really organise this, just for me?”

“Of course, anything to help you.”

“You’re the best, thank you.”

Eunhyuk:

You both stared down at your son in your arms, with Hyukjae leaning against your shoulder. “He’s definitely got your mum’s nose,” he commented, being able to recognise the similarity straight away between them.

You nodded in agreement with Hyukjae as you studied your son closely, “we’ve cursed him already for having to share a nose with my mum Jae.”

“She’ll be thrilled,” Hyukjae chuckled.

“I can’t wait to show her, we’ll never hear the end of it once she sees him,” you told Hyukjae, turning to face him with a wide smile etched on your face.

He nodded back at you, “just think if she was here in person instead.”

“That’s one good thing about being so far away from them.”

“She wouldn’t let you go,” Hyukjae laughed as he looked at the empty chair beside you, “I’d be useless if she was here.”

“You know what she’s like, always worrying,” you reminded him. “Remember what she was like when I came over for the first time.”

Hyukjae chuckled as he recalled the memory, “there’s no way when she met me she thought I’d father your children.”

“Honestly, she thought you were so strange.”

“But that’s why you love me.”

Siwon:

Your eyes lit up as Siwon sat on the end of your bed hearing familiar voices coming through the phone. “Mum! Dad!” You cheered, leaning into Siwon to make sure that you were in frame and seen by them.

Siwon moved so that you didn’t have to, turning the phone around. “Do you guys want to meet your granddaughter?” Siwon excitedly asked them.

“Let me see, let me see,” your mum grinned.

“Here she is, nice and cosy,” you told them, tilting your arms so that your parents could both see the baby that you cradled so tightly in your hold.

Their smiles were wide as they looked on the screen, “she’s beautiful.”

“Everyone’s doing really well, and only a few tears from Y/N too.”

“Hey,” you jokingly snapped, nudging against Siwon’s arm, “I’m sure no one can blame me for getting upset with all that pain.”

“She was a superstar,” Siwon quickly reassured your parents, watching their smiles light up as they kept looking at your daughter.

As they did, Siwon pressed a kiss against the side of your head. “We can’t wait to come over and see the three of you soon.”

“The three of us, that sounds so weird.”

“You’ll get used to it Y/N.”

Donghae:

The dampness in his shirt broke Donghae’s heart as held onto you, running his hand along your back. “Let it all go,” he whispered closely into your ear, knowing that your emotions were all over like a rollercoaster.

After a few moments you finally pulled away from him, “I’m sorry, this is supposed to be a happy time for us, not a time for me to get upset on you.”

“Don’t you dare apologise,” Donghae told you.

“Throughout this whole pregnancy I’ve survived, but now it’s finally happening. I wish they were here,” you replied, wiping under your eyes.

Donghae kept a close eye on you, “I wish they were here as well for you.”

“You don’t need to feel bad for me, you’re missing people here too.”

“But my people are here, they don’t have to catch flights or pack suitcases to travel for hours,” Donghae reasoned in reply to you.

“They wouldn’t want me to cry,” you whispered to yourself, trying to find the motivation to stop yourself from tearing up.

Donghae moved his arm around you as you pulled away from his chest, “I’ll give them a text let them know that you’re alright.”

“You’d really do that for me, Donghae?”

“Of course I would Y/N.”

Ryeowook:

As yet another contraction subsided, Ryeowook moved closer to your side, letting go of your hand. “Everything good?” He quizzed, running his hand over the top of your head to push your hair away for you.

The pause that came from you told Ryeowook a lot. “I know that you’re here but I feel so alone right now, like someone should be on my other side too.”

“You wish your parents were here?” He asked you.

“More than anything,” you admitted, letting go of a sigh as you threw your head back. “They don’t tell you about this bit when you move abroad.”

Ryeowook offered you a weak smile, “no one thinks of the downsides.”

“I shouldn’t be thinking of this as a downside, I mean we’re having a baby.”

“It’s human to miss people during important times in your life,” Ryeowook smiled back at you, “I feel bad that my family are here.”

“Please don’t feel bad,” you asked him, resting against the palm of his hand, “I’m so grateful for all they’ve done for the two of us.”

The pad of Ryeowook’s thumb brushed against your cheek, “we’re all wishing that both of our families could be here right now.”

“Hopefully it won’t be too long to happen.”

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t.”

Kyuhyun:

You smiled softly as your daughter was taken away by the midwives leaving you and Kyuhyun along at your bedside for a while. “How are you feeling?” He asked, leaning across and taking a hold of your hand.

Your shoulders shrugged as you met Kyuhyun’s eyes, “it’s been a while since I felt homesick, but I’m really feeling homesick right now, it’s not the same.”

“They’ll be awake soon, right?” Kyuhyun quizzed.

“In an hour perhaps,” you told him as you glanced at the clock. “I can’t wait to wake them up with the best news ever, they’re all going to be so excited.”

Kyuhyun nodded in agreement with you, “I bet they’ll be missing you today.”

“This is the sort of moment where they should be here, not so far away.”

“We’ll be able to tell them all about this moment soon enough,” Kyuhyun tried to reassure you, “they’ll be on the first flight over.”

“I never imagined myself settling down in a foreign country,” you confessed, taking Kyuhyun by surprise, “this feels like a dream.”

He continued to watch you as you sniffed the tears back once again, “I never imagined myself being in this position either you know.”

“Would you change anything about right now?”

“Not a single thing.”

---

Masterlist

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theroyalthornoliachronicles · 9 months

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After an amazing few months singing on stage in Finland, I have been lucky enough to be chosen to partake in a week long masterclass in Salzburg (starting this Saturday!), having gotten the call a week ago! It’s a big deal, and it will be a full on schedule with daily masterclasses and culminating in a performance at the end of the week, with people like potential agents and sponsors watching! I feel deeply honoured to be chosen! It feels like a step in the right direction for the future of my career and I cannot wait to see what the week brings! It could be the big stepping stone I need to finally get my career on it’s feet!

That being said, taking the time away to further my career leaves me vulnerable financially. Having just returned from Finland, and no shifts at my normal day to day job until September, it leaves me financially crippled, especially after having just had to move to a new home and spend what little savings I had into resettling myself back into the swing of London. As of right now my bank account will go negative by the end of the week, and with no way to feed myself or travel when I need to get the airport, or to take care of myself when I'm away in a different country, let alone worrying if I'll have enough money to pay rent come September...I'm feeling a great deal of stress.

But I refuse to let this damper my spirits. I know things will look up soon, but for now, I reach out to seek help. I've set up a little donation button through paypal, and I would be greatly honoured and humbled if anyone could consider donating, or even sharing my post and story around! Already I’ve had this post up on my personal social media’s for more than a day, and there has been no support, which has truly reminded me just how much my family do not approve/understand the life I live as a freelancer.

So I thank you in advance for all your help, even if all you are able to do is a simple reblog. That in and of itself I am just as grateful for. You all have helped me through so much, both known and unknown, and I’m humbled to have such a community surrounding me and this little part of the internet. 🥺

Thank you all for helping in whatever way you are able! ❤

#non-sims

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wickedsrest-rp · 3 months

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Name: Francine “Frankie” Olivia Carter Species: Human (Non-powered) Occupation: University Archivist Age: 34 Years Old Played By: Grace Face Claim: Keke Palmer

"I don’t care if you think I’m being ridiculous, I’m packing the spray bottle of holy water."

TW: Parental death

Francine Olivia Carter was born on a stormy April morning at precisely 3:33 AM. Her mother Angela had jokingly called it the witching hour when Frankie was very little. She couldn’t quite remember why her mother had called it that. Maybe it was just a silly joke, or maybe it was a premonition of the inexplicable bad luck the girl would grow up to have. Maybe if she could remember, she would have been able to prepare herself.

When Frankie was six, her mother died. She didn’t really know how, exactly. Her father Charlie had called it an accident. Everyone said it was a terrible tragedy. But no one had answers. No one had facts. Was it an animal? A man? Some freak accident of fate that had taken her mother from her so early? Frankie had asked so many questions about it as a child. So many questions to try and come to some reason why something so horrible would happen. Worried about his daughter and needing the support of his family, Charlie Carter packed up their home in Virginia and moved himself and his daughter back to the town he grew up in- Wicked’s Rest.

Time passed and Frankie’s father remarried, and Frankie’s sister Magnolia was born just after Frankie’s tenth birthday. Things were nice for a few more years- Frankie enjoyed being a big sister, enjoyed school, enjoyed having new friends. Then she turned thirteen and everything went to hell.

In the hospital when she woke up, everyone had told her it looked like a dog attack, and that she’d been lucky. But Frankie knew what she’d seen. Dogs weren’t the size of miniature ponies, they didn’t cackle, and they certainly didn’t breath fire. They’d patched the girl up and sent her on her way, telling her to be more careful. She would have chalked it up to nothing- a freak accident. If it didn’t keep happening. All sorts of things with claws and teeth and wings- things that didn’t exist, things that shouldn’t exist. Except they did. And they all seemed to want a taste of her. The bigger problem was that no one seemed to believe her. Time went on and every near brush with death was dismissed as a teenage outburst, some new dramatic way to get attention now that the focus had shifted to her little sister. No one believed her when she explained the monsters that sought her out. She was being dramatic, telling tall tales… Frankie decided if she was going to protect herself, she was going to have to figure it out for herself.

She had always been a smart girl. Frankie threw herself into her studies, trying to get the best grades she could. When she went to college, she got two degrees- one in English, and one in Theology. She had hoped that looking at old tomes and digging into world religions would explain something. Explain if she was cursed, or what these creatures were, what they wanted from her. She didn’t stop there. She kept studying, going back to get her masters in occult studies and folklore. If her problem couldn’t be found under the banners of heaven or hell, maybe she could find the answers in the forces that played outside of those rules.

Years later, she’s still hunting for the answers. Unfortunately, Wicked’s Rest is the best place to look for them. The university archives have excellent resources, and the town’s high supernatural population means she never has to wait too long to put a new theory of why she seems to be monster bait to the test, or if there’s anything out there that can reverse whatever bad luck she was born with.

Character Facts:

Personality: Organized, intelligent, friendly, independent, cheerful, clumsy, stubborn, anxious, gullible, paranoid

First started to have “incidents” with “local wildlife” around age 13.

She’s remarkably clumsy. Most people attribute any random bumps bruises or scars to that.

She has been catfished on dates in that she thinks they are human and then she gets there and they decide she’s a snack and they’re starving (not in the fun way)

She has a double bachelors in theology and English, a masters in folklore and occult studies, and is working toward her doctorate in folklore and occult studies.

Magnolia Carter is her half sister, and she is quite literally the only person who seems to believe Frankie that creatures are targeting her… because the girl wants to catch bigfoot or something.

She lives in a studio apartment across the street from a flower shop. She buys herself pretty bouquets as treats whenever she has to reset her “it has been x days since a supernatural incident has occurred” back to zero. Which is a lot.

She has a black and white French Bulldog named Tino.

Her birthday is April 30th 1989, making her a taurus sun Aquarius moon and a Pisces rising.

#bio #taken #taken human #nph #taken nph #human #keke palmer #parental death tw

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curiousfancy · 2 years

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{Photo from the time of the events}

In the summer of 2015, I had an abortion. I’ve never talked about it until today. But in the light of the most powerful democracy on earth striking down the right to abortion access, I feel it’s important to share my story.

You see, I didn’t actually want to have an abortion. Yet I’m thankful that I did. It was this one fact that kept me from talking about it all these years - I was terrified that the anti-choice brigade would come across my story and twist it to support their punitive, inhumane views. When I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test on a July afternoon 7 years ago, my heart sank because I knew that there was no possible way I could have a baby at that point.

Living as an unmarried woman without any family support in India is hard enough, but if I added a pregnancy to that mix, I had absolutely no doubt that I’d be made homeless, again. And having been homeless less than two years ago, I was prepared to do anything to not fall into that nightmare again. Moving to the U.K. to be with Owen was also out of the question as we didn’t yet meet the U.K. home office’s draconian list of conditions for me to enter the country. And since we were both dependent on his PhD stipend for support, he couldn’t quite abandon the only steady source of income we had between the two of us to be jobless and homeless with me in India.

There’s this myth prevalent among anti-choice goons that women who want abortions use it as a form of birth control and practically skip to the clinic in glee. That we never even consider alternatives, so bloodthirsty are we for terminating our pregnancies. My experience with my unwanted pregnancy couldn’t be farther from that myth. After considering all possible options and finding that there were none, I decided that an abortion was the only way forward. I’m lucky that I lived in a country with safe, legal abortion access but even then the attitudes I faced were far from exemplary or even helpful.

Of the family I had left, people who had known me since the day I was born suddenly found themselves unable to look me in the eye or speak to me without scorn. The first gynaecologist I saw tried to convince me that if I decided to abort, I would never be able to get pregnant again as I was too fat and too old (this was a month before my 30th birthday.) When I went online to look for information on 1st trimester medical abortions (which is what mine was and the majority of abortions are) I was greeted with a barrage of anti choice websites filled with images of what I later realised were late stage miscarriages and stillbirths. Even now, thinking of the shameless hypocrisy and bad faith contained in those ghoulish sites makes me seethe.

My actual abortion was the easiest part of the entire ordeal. I took my 4 pills of misoprostol, rolled up some massive joints for pain relief, put on some music and danced to relieve my cramps as Owen stayed on a video call with me. After two hours of labour style contractions, I passed a tiny little lump of tissue into my sanitary pad and the pain stopped instantly. It was very much an undifferentiated blob of tissue, about the size of a small chicken nugget with nothing to distinguish it from say, a surgically removed tumour. A far cry from the images of stillborn foetuses with which those anti-abortion websites had tried to scare me. I was just shy of 10 weeks pregnant.

Do I wish I’d had that pregnancy in different circumstances where I could have allowed it to continue to term? The answer is yes, I do. Do I also feel thankful that I had relatively easy access to abortion care that allowed me to live my life on my own terms instead of pitching me back into the nightmare I’d just escaped but this time with a baby in tow? Abortion laws that allowed me to flourish and grow and eventually become pregnant with my daughter 3 years later when I was ready for a child? Also yes. It’s this choice that’s so fucking important and when you take that away, you take away our right to live life on our own terms.

I simply can’t imagine what my life would have looked like now if I’d been forced to continue with my pregnancy in 2015. For one, I wouldn’t be in the secure, content, and fulfilled place I am in now with my daughter who is loved and wanted instead of being resented as the product of a pregnancy that ruined my life. Striking down abortion access not only plunges the person who’s pregnant into suffering and misery, it also creates a whole generation of unwanted children who carry that trauma with them. It’s inhuman. It’s the worst kind of incursion into an individual’s bodily autonomy. No one who supports this has the right to call themselves human anymore. They’re just ghouls who feed on misery and trauma and thrive on the pain of others.

*although I’ve referred to pregnancy in relation to women in the paragraphs above, please take it to mean anyone with the capacity to become pregnant, regardless of gender. Safe and universal abortion access is a human rights issue, and not restricted to any one gender.

#abortion is normal #abortion is healthcare #abortion is a human right #my body my choice #curious fancy #my posts

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dreamings-free · 1 year

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interview with Louis in the March issue of FourFourTwo magazine 2/2/23

full text under the cut..

by Paul Wilkes

Which was the first match that you ever went to?

I actually got into football quite late, when I started playing at around 11. There were a few Manchester United fans in the family, so the first match I ever went to was an unbelievable first game: the FA Cup fifth round tie against Arsenal in February 2003 – the match when Sir Alex Ferguson kicked the boot and hit David Beckham! My best memories come from Doncaster, who are the only club I support now. We had a fantastic League Cup run in 2005 – we beat Manchester City on penalties, then beat Aston Villa 3-0 and lost to Arsenal on penalties in the quarter-finals. That was my first real low as a football fan. I can remember walking back home absolutely gutted.

Who was your childhood hero and did you ever meet them?

James Coppinger is my club hero – he played at every level and really played for the badge. Everyone in Donny loves him and he’s a great bloke, too. After I got into One Direction, I was lucky to meet him and play alongside him a couple of times in charity games. As a fan growing up watching him, that was amazing. The best person I’ve ever met in football was Pele. I met him about four or five years ago and it was incredible – he had all these stories and we spoke for ages. He was lovely.

What’s been your finest moment playing football?

I played in Soccer Aid and Ronaldinho tried to nutmeg me. I was all over his shirt, giving him no respect, and I just managed to nick the ball off him! There’s a sick picture that I’ve seen of it [right]. The other moment was when I was about 15. I started as a centre-back, but didn’t grow any taller so moved across to right-back and scored the only Sunday League goal I ever scored. I’ll never forget it.

What do you like most about going to the match?

The whole atmosphere, that magic. When you have those experiences as a young lad, there’s an element of nostalgia each time you go inside a football stadium.

Which player do you admire even though they’ve never played for your club?

As some of my family supported Manchester United, I was never allowed to like Thierry Henry, but those grudge matches against Arsenal were amazing. He was a serious player.

Where’s the best place you’ve ever watched a game?

The Bernabeu – it was Neymar’s first ever Clasico for Barcelona against Real Madrid, which was pretty special. It’s one of the bucket list fixtures to go to. When I was young, Doncaster signed me as a reserve player and I went to a pre-season training camp in Portugal. As a supporter of the club, that’s not something you’re normally privy to, so watching how the squad trained and prepared was fascinating.

A few years ago, you filmed a music video with Bebe Rexha on the pitch at the Keepmoat Stadium. What was that like?

It was really important for me in my career. The reason I’m sat here today is because of Doncaster – it’s played a huge role. It’s who I am as a person and it’s what I write songs about. The fact we were able to film the video at the Keepmoat, where I’ve spent many days and evenings, made it so special. It felt appropriate.

What’s your favourite football book?

It’s not a book, but Fourfourtwo! I used to subscribe when I was younger. I’m not a big reader otherwise. I should be, but I’m not.

What’s been your worst experience at a game?

I was playing in a charity match at Celtic Park. I got the ball and turned to my right, then Gabby Agbonlahor came through the back of me and I tore my medial ligament. A combination of the impact and me being very unfit meant I ended up throwing up all over Celtic’s stadium, which I know will please a lot of Rangers supporters.

Have any footballers been to a gig?

Paul Pogba came to a One Direction show once, that’s the one that stands out – he was really sound. I won’t lie, I don’t think many footballers listen to One Direction songs.

Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever met a footballer?

I was in this bar somewhere in South America and, purely by chance, Bryan Robson was there with a few friends. He was a bit drunk. We went straight over and he was nice, but it was one of those times where you think, ‘What is he doing here?!’ [Laughs]

What’s the greatest goal you’ve ever seen live?

I was at Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s debut for LA Galaxy, because I spend some time over in Los Angeles. The LAFC keeper launched the ball upfield and it was cleared back to Zlatan about 40 yards out. He watched it bounce and then smashed it over the keeper’s head, an unbelievable goal. I love him – I like a bit of s**thousery in my footballers, and he’s always had that.

Who’s your current favourite player?

The obvious answer is Erling Haaland, because any fan seeing him rack up the goals this season has been totally in awe. Even if you support Manchester United, you watch him and think he’s superb. But for me, Jude Bellingham. I’m so excited by Jude – he’s been in brilliant form this season, even before the World Cup.

If you could drop yourself into your all-time five-a-side team, who would you be playing next to?

Well, I play at the back, so I want me and Rio Ferdinand. I’d pick Edwin van der Sar, he was a top keeper in his day, then in midfield I’d have Ronaldinho – I grew up loving his football. Up front, I’ll go for Cristiano Ronaldo.

What’s the most important piece of memorabilia that you have?

I had a Doncaster home shirt as a kid that I associate with growing up. A few years ago, I bought the same shirt in my current size – it’s special to me, and when I met Pele I asked him to sign it. That was the pinnacle.

Louis Tomlinson’s solo album, ‘Faith In The Future’, is available to buy now.

#louis #interview #fourfourtwo #published:#02.02.23 #football louis #donny boy #doncaster rovers #press #mine #m

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wowzerwyrm · 10 months

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Just because you haven’t suffered for your ADHD (or autism or other neurodivergence) doesn’t mean you don’t have it. I haven’t suffered for my ADHD, not like some people did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have ADHD, it just means that, up until now, I have had the support and unconditional love that kept me happy and safe, and I didn’t need to focus in order to be fulfilled and cared for. I did well in school because my teachers allowed me to play with my clay or read my book during class as long as I did well on the material. When that stopped happening, and I started failing classes because I couldn’t do my homework, my parents allowed me to leave school and just complete my GED. At home, my inability to focus wasn’t punished, and my creativity and interests were praised, no matter how short-lived each interest was. I was lucky enough to find a job in food-delivery, where I was allowed to wear earbuds and listen to music or podcasts or audiobooks both in and out of the store, so long as I worked hard. When I started getting restless at that job after a few months, they were kind enough to see me off to go on a road trip or another adventure and then accept me back at the same job when I returned. I’ve kept moving from pizza place to pizza place, and it’s worked out for me. My brief stint as a server at a restaurant, where I couldn’t have my earbuds in and where I was stuck in the store for my entire shift, and it was hell. I didn’t last two weeks before finding another job with food delivery. I honestly don’t think it’s fair for ANYONE to have to work like servers do, but I just physically couldn’t do it. If I lived in a world where I didn’t have to produce to live, I wouldn’t want medication. In general, I’m a believer that if we all lived in a world where we didn’t have to produce to survive, we would need a lot less medication in general, including when people self-medicate with drugs. I would be fine living in a world where I could just create with my family and friends and do what I could to help, work in ways that help those around me and strengthen our bonds, do food delivery or prep or something monotonous but important for the rest of my life (So long as I could listen to my books and stories). My lack of focus and inability to complete things wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t feel so dependent on the idea of creating something for the purpose of generating more income and becoming secure in my living spaces. But I do feel like I have to create or work at the same thing for an extended period in order to reliably survive, whether that’s making a video game, writing a book, drawing a comic, or just finding a career that I can trudge through. I have to be able to focus and complete long-term things, and for that I need medication.

#I finally got some meds today after saying all this to my doctor after three previous sessions where my inability to do things was denied #and blamed on me just not WANTING to do it enough #ADHD #ADHD thoughts #the human mind #the social condition

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ljfoxie · 2 years

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“It’s natural to have doubts Lou. I still don’t believe that Vlad made the right choice in me but...well the work keeps me going and there often isn’t time to wallow in how unworthy I am to be President of the Vampire Council, and to top it all off, Caleb fucking Vatore went and got me elected Mayor of Forgotten Hollow! I feel the pressure every day!”

“Seriously?” Lou’s eyes widened, “You would never know, you’re the epitome of boss man energy!”

“Well, I don’t feel that energy! Hallie grounds me but she also makes me feel like I can change the world. If it weren’t for her I’d...well I wouldn’t be able to function!”

“You’re lucky to have her, I’m so jealous of what you have with her it...there was someone...once!” So it was going to become that kind of conversation? “You remember me talking about Celene? You met her, she found Rory...”

“Yeah, I know Celene, I’m ashamed to say I knew she was leaving but there was so much going on with you and the pack that I didn’t think it was important!”

“Yeah well, she would have left regardless! We went on a date once, the night I got bit, she warned me not to go out there...to Greg’s? But I was trying to impress her and...well it changed my life forever! I had just turned eighteen, just becoming a man, trying to prove my dad wrong...but proving him right in the end!”

“Celene got bit too that night, but she took the cure. I was dumb and full of shit, thinking I’d be okay...I should’ve listened to her on both occasions! But becoming a werewolf was the best thing that ever happened to me, I met Rory, I found a real family! Anyway, one night I got drunk at the Grimtooth Bar and Celene took me to the club house to sleep it off, one thing led to another and...well let’s just say we never really spoke again after that...she's a little older than me, and she was my first, I was probably not hers though!” Lou chuckled sadly.

“When I met Hallie, she turned my head, I knew she was Grayson’s wife...sorry...I knew she was taken, by you or by Grayson, it doesn’t matter, she was off limits! When I brought her back here four months ago, Celene came out of her house and gave me an earful, calling Hallie a little temptress...a whole pile of shit came out of her mouth. I never thought she cared, then she told me to stay away from her and enjoy my little family...she thought your baby was...well, mine!”

“Yeah, she said as much when I took her home!” I nodded, Lou had just confirmed what I suspected, Jared was his son! He didn’t know, but I didn’t feel that it was my place to tell. Hopefully Lizette would track Celene down and Lou could finally meet him, maybe make a go of it with his son’s mother.

“I dunno, I just always thought that there would be time to fix...whatever we had! I think I felt more for Celene than she felt for me to be honest, our night in the club house meant more to me than it did her. I mean I was drunk, but I was aware of what we were doing and I wanted it, she wanted it, maybe I was just another notch...I guess I’ll never know!”

“You’ll get your chance to find out, I’m sure of it! Look Lou, you’re going to make an amazing alpha! Rory was easy to work with, but because we’re friends we can make a great team! I have faith in you, Vlad does too...and so does Hallie!”

“Sh-she does?” Lou sat back in his chair and eyed me with surprise.

“Of course she does, she’s your number one fan!”

“She is?”

“Lou, she loves you! Not like she loves me, don’t get any ideas...but she does! We both consider you as our family too and we’d love for you to be Aurora’s godfather!”

“You would?” This kid really lacked confidence, did he not know what a great young man he truly was?

“We would, now, do you think we can have a group discussion with the pack, try to get them to move forward with us? I know where to find Kat and Markus, and with their help we can get the justice Rory deserves!”

“We can try!” He replied with more confidence, hearing how much Hallie thought of him had done the trick, I hoped he knew that he could do this, that he had support from everyone who cared about him. We needed to stay focused, and I had to tell his pack that I could track down Rory’s killers, news that would hopefully go down well with most, if not all of them!

<Previous_Next>

#TheTartosaVampire #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4

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strwberriehore · 4 months

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At this point I’m not the “bad guy” but now owed something

You all went too far

Attacking me during my pregnancy to the point I had a miscarriage, my baby is dead because of what you guys did to me

You all lack empathy

If you attacked me in any way dec2022-march2023 you’re partially responsible for my child’s death, for killing my baby…sit with that, do you not care you attacked a pregnant woman causing the baby to die inside of her ? It was really painful physically and emotionally to lose my child. I wanted a family and that was stolen from me along with everything else

I’ve said before if I’m stressed out I get my period early, so instead of a period it was a miscarriage

I’m only sorry to the people that didn’t attack me, who I hurt out of confusion and fear

Like I think Katya, trixies friend, I feel like they posted something about me and I assumed it was an attack…if it wasn’t then I am so sorry I should’nt have said anything and I regret it I hope you understand and if you can’t forgive me

I feel like everyone is out to get me and it makes me extra defensive about everything

I’m so hurt by everything and everyone

I don’t even want to be on social media anymore, I don’t care it’s not worth it

I just don’t have money to go out and do things so I watch stuff on my laptop and phone to pass time

Like I wanted to go to a rock climbing gym but couldn’t afford it

Over a year now no haircut, no health insurance and transportation to get to a hospital if I had it

My cats need a vet to treat their fleas

I haven’t able to heal or recover from anything since I keep getting new shit to deal with

A wound can’t heal if you keep throwing salt in it

I need to rest and not deal with any attacks to actually recover and get better

This isnt rest at all…im getting worse it feels like

This is…me just getting traumatized over and over to the point I have a mental breakdown and can’t function normally anymore

So ya I need apologies, money, and revenge

Who wouldn’t

I feel like what I want is justice, for everything I’ve dealt with

I feel like I’m usually retaliating when I lash out

Ugh I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety

Even had a panic attack the other day, which I haven’t had in years, kinda not surprised after all the anxiety attacks

I feel like I can’t talk about my issues or feelings without someone trying to shame me for it just to hurt me

Kels is a jealous horrific monster, like why can’t you just go away??? Seriously Kels just move on, the copying me is creepy and embarrassing

You all deserve to suffer

I can’t wait to get all new devices, move out, get my privacy back , and disappear

I feel like I never had a chance anyways when I look back at all the hurdles I’ve dealt with

Having an abusive family really set me up to fail, I’ve slept in a car when they had extra rooms in their home because of everything going on

I feel like an orphan since I bounced different family members homes, I remember as a kid my dad took a lot of month long get aways, like he would just leave for like a month and did it often and mom worked so I was at baby sitters homes getting abused too or alone and now I’m older I have no support so I can’t survive

I feel like most people have some kind of family support or something to fall back on

I got lucky with the pandemic since I was able to go to school and work as a nurse, or else I would’ve never left minimum wage jobs

But my nursing license just expired too lol

When I reach out for help I get attacked…

Everything that could go wrong has it seems like

When it rains it pours

I don’t forgive anyone that attacked me this year, especially when I was pregnant, that’s evil, I don’t give a fuck if you knew or not, you didn’t feel my baby die inside of me

after since I wasn’t pregnant everyone thought it was okay to hurt me so I didn’t get to properly grieve my baby, but now it’s been long enough I can process what happened, especially since they would’ve been born by now

You’re all dead to me, kinda like my fucking baby

I’ll “heal” when I get my fucking justice

Until then I’m resentful, bitter, and angry

You would be too

Most of you haven’t dealt with most of what I’ve had to face

If I don’t get my justice I hope you all kill yourselves

You’re all evil and deserve to suffer

Why go so far and overkill with the attacks on me?

You’re sick , no one is even “copying” me, you’re just bullying and attacking me

The shit I’m dealing with is shit I’ve never done to anyone else

You’re all just using me as a punching bag for your own selfish desires regardless of what I say or do like someone else made you mad almost and it’s easier to hurt me than who hurt you

I won’t be happy or nice to anyone until I get my justice, everyone that hurt me gets a taste of what they did to me

Why not just leave me alone?!

I don’t understand people that hate watch…I look for things I might enjoy watching

I didn’t deserve any of this, feels like a stalker gathered a mob to kill me, this is inhumane

Kels is the bad person, they just have a stupid check mark and people care more about that than anything else

I don’t have the check mark so it’s easier to do what the other person says blindly because they’re hoping for some fame or something in return

I NEED justice or I’ll just disappear

And justice is NOT a “payout” no matter how large or me being with the man I want

A payout feels like “here’s a way to disappear from everything and everyone and not be too focused on revenge you deserve”

Like when you sue a hospital after they killed your child during a normal procedure and you get a payout

Real justice is a payout and the people that attacked me get punished

If the people that attacked me don’t get punished then there is no justice. If someone shot your mom in the head wouldn’t you want them to get punished and not basically get away with it? And most people would rather not deal with a death than receive a payout for one.

Even with apologies, payout, and punishment for those that attacked me, I can’t forgive anyone that participated in this or anyone that could’ve helped me but chose not to.

I’m not going to just take this torture, if you can help me but won’t then I don’t want you in my life. I’d rather be alone than around people that let others hurt me

I just need my cats and money to survive

I feel like everyone expects me to be and act unaffected by everything that happened to me wtf ?!

This isn’t me, I can’t be me when I have to constantly defend myself

Everyone knows I don’t have the following they do making all their attacks so much worse since they know it’s not fair

Whatever. shows how bad of a person they are if they’re willing to do that to someone since people have killed themselves over less

I feel like it’s almost weird I haven’t yet

The more I try to plan a hanging the more I realize how difficult it can be, most suicide attempts are not successful and no one wants to try and fail so I’ve switched to cutting my throat with a scalpel since it’s known to be sharper, probably get some strong painkillers like norco first to make it hurt less

With 8 billion people in the world I don’t mind just disappearing and moving with enough money but I’ll probably randomly harass you guys for decades online if I have to do that since I’ll be bitter without real justice

Obviously I have an outcome I’d prefer but I’m okay with that not happening and me either killing myself or moving/disappearing alone with my cats

If I don’t get justice I hope all of you get karma another way like fucking cancer

I really do

I feel like I’m not as mean as I should be after all I’ve dealt with

I’m not overreacting , you’d be upset too

People act like I’m some rich girl with great parents/family/friends and never had a bad day or had to deal with anything bad ever like life has always been easy and fun with no issues

I fucking wish

I wish I didn’t have to wear clothes and shoes with holes in them, I wish I had a supportive family that didn’t abuse me as a child, I wish I wasn’t bullied in school growing up.

I feel like people lie to themselves and make up this story about how great my life is in their head to justify their disgusting actions towards me to not feel bad about being a bad person

I’ve never had it easy

Selling your body for money to survive is not easy either, a lot of people “can’t do it “ and negatively judge me for just trying to survive

I never escaped, I’m just in a different place, same hell

I never deserved any of this , but I deserve justice and I need it to fully heal

Delete everything attacking me, apologies, punishment for them, kels gets humiliated, and pay out to make me happy

THis feels like a slow murder, my baby is dead and that’s not enough

Like if you shoot someone in the head 10 times, it’s unnecessary , just leave me the fuck alone!

You all make me nauseous

I hope whoever the creep is helping kels dies from cancer , you’re an actual psychopath …

Now I feel like I have to double down on everything, you guys broke me , why would I be nice now?

Even with a payout and no justice I’ll probably spend it trying to get my own justice

I can’t even work anymore because of all this so I’ll just kill myself when it runs out

I have no respect for anyone now

I hope most of you get shot in the head

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