#I’m one of those weirdos that loves both ships

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

#riverdale #veronica lodge #jughead jones #betty cooper #archie andrews #kevin keller #cheryl blossom #edgar evernever

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Bad Decisions (+18)

Bad Decisions (Sanji x f Reader)

Summary: Your hunger and your impulsivity both get the best of you and you end up in a compromising position. You ask Sanji for help, but it might be even more important to him than it is to you.

Pairing: Sanji x afab!reader

WC: 3500+ oops

TWs: vaginal sex, pet names, oral sex, fingering, crying, begging, virginity loss, it's porn with a brief plot idk man

You were starving. You and the crew had just finished a rough fight on a random island and brought back several chests and bags of treasure back to the ship. For over an hour after your return, you sat on the wooden floor of the deck with Nami going through bags full of gold, silver, and rare jewels. 

“Once we find somewhere to turn all this into berries we can buy the CUTEST new outfits!” Nami shouted with her back to you, head buried in a treasure chest.

“Nami your closet can barely close and you still have stuff with the tags on it, what the hell do you need new clothes for?” You quipped back while rummaging through a burlap sack.

“I’m a pirate, I can do whatever I want y/n.”

You rolled your eyes and continued going through the bag. Your hand felt something… fleshy? Like the soft, tender skin of a banana. You grabbed it and pulled it out to see a strange pink, oblong fruit. Your immediate thought was that this was a devil fruit, but it didn’t bear the signature swirled texture. 

“Nami... come look at this…”

A door was suddenly flung open from the galley. 

“Hello my beautiful girls! I’ve prepared you an aperitif to keep you satiated before dinner is ready! My sweet y/n here-“

Sanji stopped in his tracks after his sudden intrusion.

“Where the hell did you get that? Put it down!” Sanji swiftly placed the tray he was carrying on a barrel and snatched the strange produce out of your hand. 

You were confused as to why Sanji suddenly looked so concerned. 

“Sanji what the fuck is your problem? I found that fair and square!” You snapped at him, your piracy-addled brain wanting to keep it for yourself since it was clearly of value at this point. He held it behind his back as you approached him.

“Mon amour you don’t understand, this is a very dangerous berry and should not be consumed under any circumstance.” Sanji stepped forward, eyes dark with concern.

“Ok weirdo keep your purple banana, I’m here for the diamonds.” Nami said as she carried several of the bags downstairs on the Sunny to the storeroom, leaving you and Sanji in a stalemate on the deck. 

“I’m putting this away.” he said as he walked back into the galley. You followed him quickly, not even letting the door close behind him before threw it open behind you and snipped at him.

“Ok give it up cook, what’s your deal with this thing? Why is it dangerous? It’s not a devil fruit, right?” 

“You don’t understand. These are very rare fruits that are native to the South Blue. I’ve only heard tales from patrons at the Baratie of what this can do to you. It’s the worlds most powerful aphrodisiac.” Sanji’s hands were shaking as he placed the fruit on the kitchen island. 

You snorted trying to keep your laughter in but it fought its way to the front. “Hahaha oh stop it! Those are old wives tales, Sanji. If it’s not a devil fruit, it’s harmless. You’re afraid of it, why? Afraid that it will make you what? Too horny? Come on, be serious!”

“I’m as serious as a heart attack, love. You have NO idea what this can do to someone. And there’s only one way to reverse the affects.” He met your gaze with his last sentence. You expected him to wink or pull something perverted, but his blue eyes showed nothing but worry. You sighed and backed off, realizing that the fruit probably wasn’t worth any money. You returned to the deck and going through the bags Nami left behind.

—-

After another half hour of treasure picking, you heard the growl of your stomach and was painfully reminded of how hungry you were. You silently cursed the curly-browed chef that dinner was taking so long. You made your way to the galley to see how the cooking process was going. 

You walked in to find an empty kitchen. Sanji was probably out having a cigarette. He stopped smoking in the kitchen as much after Robin found a pile of ash in her scrambled eggs one morning. Sanji felt so bad that he cried and groveled for three days. 

You remembered where Sanji stashed that fruit in the ice box. 

Curiously you lifted the lid of the ice box and grabbed the strange berry. As you rolled it in your hand inspecting it, your stomach panged again. Long term thinking had NEVER been your strong suit, hence why you ended up on a dangerous pirate crew with little experience at sea. 

Impulsively, you popped the fruit in your mouth. 

And god, fuck, it was the most magical taste you’ve ever experienced. It was like dark chocolate, raspberries, lavender, all the most tender, delicate flavors rolled into one. You audibly groaned as you tongued it around your mouth. You didn’t want the experience to end but you had to swallow. Right as the fruit hit your stomach the door to the deck opened and there was your blonde lovecook. He looked at you, then at the empty fruit stem in your hand. 

“Tell me you didn’t…” he stood there, mouth agape. 

“So what if I did? I was hungry and you’re dragging ass with dinner. Those stories aren’t even real, I’ll be fine.” You confidently strode towards him trying to move around his tall, slender frame when he grabbed the sides of your arms and forced you to look at him. 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS?”

“Get off me!” You were young but you were strong and you shook off his grasp with ease. “I’ll be fine. Stop worrying about me. I can handle myself.” And you ducked past him and walked out onto the deck and back down to your room. You would be fine, right? He had no evidence other than stories from dirty old men on the Baratie. You spent awhile in your room reading before the crew was called for dinner. It was a beautiful spread. Luffy was dominating the serving platters while you sat next to Robin and joked about something gross Franky had done earlier in the day with a large bottle of cola. 

Halfway through the meal you started to feel warm. You ignored it, blaming the summer heat. But the warmth grew, spread to your cheeks and deep in your tummy. Your skin felt like you had a fresh sunburn. Robin rubbed your arm accidentally while laughing at a joke and you jolted forward, your skin being so sensitive and hot. 

“Are you okay y/n?” Robin asked looking into your eyes, visibly concerned.

“I’m fine I think… I think I’m just tired… maybe I need to go to bed.”

You looked across the wooden dining table and Sanji was staring directly at you. He had clearly been watching you the whole time, eyes filled with concern for your physical state. You ignored his glare and excused yourself back down to your room. This feeling was unlike anything you’ve ever felt in your life. It was like static electricity going straight through your veins. You went straight to the bathroom and splashed cold water on your face repeatedly. After a big sigh you buried your face in a towel. Looking up into the mirror you notice something. Your nipples were completely erect. 

You couldn’t possibly believe that this fruit did what Sanji said it did… but you realized you were growing increasingly wet between your legs. 

“You’re kidding…” You audibly curse to yourself. 

You went back to your bed and grabbed your book to start reading and calm yourself down. You stared at the pages, your brain unable to focus on any of the words, only able to focus on the electric feeling in your body. 

Your body was no longer just hot, it was BURNING. You were wearing a large grey t shirt and light pink panties. You look down and see that you’ve soaked them completely through. Frustrated, you throw your book on the table and lay fully on your back. You want to resolve the issue quickly without problems so you reach your hand down into your underwear and start to circle your clit with your right hand. 

It wasn’t enough. 

You insert your pointer and middle finger inside of yourself the way you always do when you need to release. It wasn’t working. You were hurting. It simply wasn’t enough. You kept trying. You were panting and sweating, your hair plastered to your forehead and grunting in frustration as you struggled to reach a peak. Your skin was so sensitive but you simply couldn’t get there. You were starting to feel sick…. The hot, sweating feeling becoming too much for your brain. An idea suddenly hit you-

“There’s only one way to reverse the effects.” Sanji. He knew. He knew how to fix this. You sprinted out of bed, still in a t shirt and panties and grabbed your baby den den mushi and called the Sunny’s landline, knowing it was in the kitchen and Sanji would be there washing dishes. It rang. You waited. Sweat beads dripping down your forehead, pain radiating through your lower half, you kept waiting for a response. 

“Y/n? Mon amour? Are you okay?” Sanji’s concerned, deep voice came through on the line.

“No I’m not. You were right I was wrong, okay? I need you to get down here now.”

He breathed heavily on the other end, having an idea as to what you were going through. He didn't respond.

“Sanji. You told me you knew how to fix this. Please…” your voice was trembling and broken. 

As soon as he heard the desperation in your begging he knew it was serious. He had an obligation to his crew mate. 

“I’ll be there right now.” And he hung up.

Barely a few moments later you heard rapid knocks on your door and the knob turning. Sanji was fully unprepared for the sight he saw when he entered your room.

There you were. Laid out on your bed, but thighs clamped together so desperately trying to get any sort of friction on your aching clit. Sweat from your neck had stained your large, old t shirt. Your breathing was so heavy he could see your breasts rise and fall tiredly, clearly not wearing a bra. 

“I told you not to do this…”

“Okay! I know! I get it! I should have listened to you! But right now Sanji I-… I need your help.. please…” 

He had imagined it so many times… you spread out in bed, begging and pleading for him. Was he dreaming again? He fisted his cock late at night so often thinking about this exact situation. But as a gentleman he was hesitant. Would you be begging for him like this had you not ingested that fruit? Would it be right to touch you like this? You weren’t drunk, you weren’t on drugs, but is it right? His brain was going a thousand nautical miles a minute until you spoke again.

“Sanji…”

You looked at him as you sat up on your elbows. You let your legs fall apart as far as they would go so he could see the massive soaked spot on your panties. 

“Sanji please… it hurts so much…” 

Hurts. You said it hurts. You were in pain. He could see the tears threatening to fall from your lashes. He has never seen you like this a day in his life, even 2 years ago when you first joined the crew and you were new to piracy. He had seen you take blade slices and Chopper sewed them up with no anesthesia and you barely winced. He could barely imagine the pain and frustration that was causing you to have this reaction now. He vowed to never leave a woman in distress, and you certainly were. 

“Let me go get Chopper, he will know what to do.”

“NO!” You shout at him. “Don’t you dare tell anyone on this ship what happened. You said you could help me and I need it.” You were pleading with him. He saw the look in your eyes. So much desperation. So much lust. How could he leave you writhing in all this pain?

Screw it. 

Sanji quickly slips off his shirt jacket and it falls to the floor. He strides toward you loosening his tie. He sits down next to you on the bed. He was more than a little hesitant but he couldn’t resist anymore.

“I need you to understand... that if I help you with this… we won’t ever be the same… I need you to tell me that’s okay.” 

You grabbed his hand. It was so soft and delicate in yours. Slender fingers slotting in between yours. You looked up into his all-blue eyes, you could see the worry. He looked at you like a porcelain doll that he might break if he takes it off the shelf to play with. But you could tell deep down, he wanted to play.

“It’s okay. I need your help Sanji. Please help me.” You breathed out, the feelings getting so much more intense. Your pussy was clenching around nothing after just feeling his hand in yours… your pulse was so high… You needed release soon or you thought you might have a heart attack.

“Fine. But if anything feels wrong you’ll tell me to stop, love, right?”

You nodded your head aggressively and lifted your torso off the bed and removed your shirt. Tossing it aside you then shimmied off your panties, leaving your body fully naked on the bed for him. He had never seen something so beautiful… pert, full breasts heaving on your chest, a sheen of sweat covering your skin. A puddle was forming on the sheets between your legs…. He knew this wasn’t normal. The wetness your pussy was experiencing was nothing human at this point, dripping far more than was normal for any biological person. It was clearly aching.

Sanji got to his knees at the base of the bed, fully taking his tie off now and undoing several buttons of his dress shirt. “Ok love, I’m going to fix all of this.”

He grabbed the backs of your knees and yanked your sweat covered body to the edge of the bed so that he was face to face with your hot, dripping sex. 

“Merde…”

Sanji knew this was his dream. Sure the All Blue was number one but this was the best thing he’s ever seen or smelled. He leans forward towards your bare pussy to deeply inhale your scent. You cover your face, embarrassed at his lewd, perverted actions.

“Sanji please…” you were whining and writhing, waiting for him to touch you. 

He firmly grabs your hip with one hand and holds you down while he spreads your lips with two fingers from the other hand. No longer able to resist your sopping cunt, he dives in immediately and latches onto your throbbing clit. 

You scream out underneath his touch, your skin so painfully sensitive that it feels a thousand times more pleasurable with his mouth. You moan loudly as he laps and sucks at your most sensitive area. With the affects of the fruit and the pleasure Sanji is giving to you, your brain short circuits. You instinctively fist his blonde locks and pull him deeper into your cunt. You needed release and you needed it now. 

Sanji was in Heaven, your sweet sounds and the taste of your rapturous pussy he could barely think straight. Things were going beyond well… especially for someone who has never done this before. Sanji has never touched a woman, let alone had sex. This was a show. He snuck some of Robin’s erotic novels months ago and tried to understand  how to please a woman should the opportunity arise. Sanji’s hands were shaking on your thighs, trying to make sure everything was perfect for you. He remembered reading that having fingers inside a woman feels good when done right. He inserts two fingers and crooks them upwards, pulling slightly while his lips were wrapped around your clit and you shouted out in pleasure.

“Sanji! Oh my god! That’s it, please! It’s perfect, right there! Don’t you dare stop, please!”

Hearing you simultaneously praise and beg him made his head swim. He never thought he’d be able to pleasure a woman like this. He ruts his crotch into the side of the bed as he slurps down all of your sinful juices, trying to suppress his own sexual desires. 

You felt the tension and in your belly start to reach its peak and you aggressively grabbed Sanji’s head.

“Im… cumming!” You shrieked as you released all over his face. You laid back and heaved and felt relieved.. but only for a moment… 

He pulled off of your cunt, goatee soaked in your release. He greedily licks his lips, smirk forming at the corners.  

“My love… it was the best meal I’ve ever eaten in my life… and as someone with a refined palate, I simply can’t say what an honor it’s been.” He tries to compose himself and put his tie back into place as he stands up from the bed. You grab his wrist. 

“Sanji… I need more… all of it… please…” 

He couldn’t believe that he was hearing. Was this it? He needed you almost as bad as you needed him at this point. 

“My darling… do you mean that?” He asks hesitantly

“Of course I do. It still hurts, Sanji. I can’t get rid of this unless I feel all of you inside of me… please…”

Sanji rips off his clothes at lightening speed, stumbling over his trousers in the process. Thick cock slapping his stomach as he pulls down his briefs. He climbs back onto the bed and hovers over you. Remembering the books he read, he grabs an extra pillow and shoves it under your ass, grabbing an experimental squeeze as he does it. You giggle.

“M-my love… I’ve… I’ve never done this before.”

You look up at him, shocked and bewildered. A virgin? Maybe it was because of the mysterious fruit’s effects, but this man had just given you the most earth shattering orgasm you’ve ever had. How can this really be his first time?

“Oh Sanji I’m sorry I just can’t help it, if you don’t want to-“ He cut you off with a sloppy, passionate kiss on your lips. It was messy, it was frantic, it was needy and so, so good. He pulls back panting and says to you, 

“I want to. My love, I want to more than you know, please let me help you.” 

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding and reached up to cup his face with one hand and pull him into a kiss. With your other hand you reached down and guided his throbbing, virgin cock into yourself. 

Sanji groans against your lips, you suck a breath in, finally feeling the fullness your body has been violently craving for what felt like an eternity. He leans back from your kiss, seemingly trying to catch his breath and compose himself. He knew it would be good, but the feeling was far more than he’d ever imagined. Your insides were so warm, so wet and open for him, fitting him inside you so perfectly like the last piece to a puzzle. He was broken out of his trance by a desperate whine from underneath him.

“Sanji… baby please… I need more, fuck me now please?” You bucked your hips upwards into him deeper, trying to fuck yourself on his cock desperately trying to fix the painful ache in your lower half. 

He pulled out of you slowly, still hesitant as to what to do, this being the first time he’s ever made love to a woman, let alone someone he felt so passionately about. He leans forward and fully pushes his sensitive cock back inside of you and you let out a high pitched whine. He repeats his actions as he finds a comfortable rhythm. 

“Oh Sanji thank you so much, thank you so much, it feels so good baby, just like that…” You punctuated his thrusts with explicit compliments and loud moans. Growing confident, he leans back and places his hands on the back of your thighs and pushes them up to your chest. He speeds up his hips and you feel his thick cock reach the perfect spot at this new angle. 

“Sanji! There!” You were screaming at this point. Sanji had half a mind to cover your mouth, knowing every other person on the Sunny could hear you calling out his name in pleasure… but the other half? The thought of everyone knowing that HE was the one giving you such intense pleasure that you can’t help but shriek his name throughout the ship? That was the half that was winning. 

You feel like you’re about to explode. It was right there, you could feel it. Tears begin streaming down your face as your love cook destroys your sloppy pussy with vigor. 

“My love you’re so close, I can barely pull myself out… Please cum for me? Mon amour, I need to see it again. I need to feel you cum on me, please? You’re so beautiful when you cum, you’re perfect, darling, please?” Sanji was shamelessly begging you to release on his cock. He desperately drilled his hips into you, pushing your further up into a pretzel. 

“Yes Sanji I’m right there, fuck baby I’m cumming, SHIT-“ you screamed. The orgasm ripped through your entire body, unlike you’ve ever felt. It was an almost painful, intense pleasure. Sanji continued to plow into you, so incredibly close to his own peak, trying to talk you through it but your ears were ringing. 

“So perfect baby, such a perfect, gorgeous pussy. My perfect little pussy, so good for me…I love you so mu- oh my darling, I’m going to cum, please let me fill you!”

Your brain short circuited, so broken by your orgasm, body almost numb. “Yes of course, I want all of it Sanji please! I want your cum inside of me.”

And with that, he did. He moaned your name loudly as he slumps forward meeting your forehead with his. He lets your legs fall comfortably, but stays on top and inside of you. Nothing but heavy breathing and the sound of waves hitting the side of the ship could be heard. After a few minutes he pulls back and he looks into your eyes, seeing the relief, that you’re finally rid of your pain, he smiles. You smile back. You both start laughing. 

“Sanji, thank you.” You finally breath out after catching the giggles, not even believing what just happened. 

“It truly was my pleasure, darling. Just… just promise me you won’t do anything that stupid again?”

“After how incredible that was? I can make absolutely no promises.” You laugh. “Hey remember when you said you loved me?”

Sanji buried his face in your neck with a groan, clearly embarrassed and hiding his shame. It wasn’t a lie, he just knew you didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t know what to say, he wanted to throw himself into the ocean outside the window just to get away from confronting this. He pulled out of the crook of your neck to look at your face. 

“Y/n I-“

“Shhh…” you press your finger to his kiss-bitten lips. “Stay here tonight. We can talk tomorrow.” You assure him while stroking his cheek. Sanji sighs in relief, kissing you gently and laying his head on the pillow next to yours. With nothing left to say you both drift off to sleep, limbs tangled together on your mattress. You can talk about this in the morning.

xx

#one piece smut #one piece #one piece netflix #one piece live action #one piece fanfiction #one piece fandom #one piece fanart #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #black leg sanji #sanji #one piece sanji #sanji vinsmoke #sanji smut #one piece anime #one piece manga

[tropes-and-tales]

Not Real Just Yet

Day 14:  Breeding Kink (Bob Floyd x F!Reader)

(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!) 

CW:  Breeding kink; the appearance of dub-con but with clear consent discussed; smut (PiV, unprotected); 18+ only. Again, this is a breeding KINK with an element of dub-con (but consensual), so if that isn't your thing, pass on this one.

Word Count:  1513

AN:  This was requested by an anonymous person! It was also not edited in any way!

It’s not real. 

It’s not real just yet because Bob is active duty, often deployed for long stretches.

It’s not real just yet because you’re in a PhD program that requires long, long hours:  as you TA for undergrad classes, as you pore over old archived papers buried in colleges across the U.S., as you spend late nights on your thesis.

It’s not real just yet because you and Bob are sometimes just ships passing in the night, and you both hate it, but you’re both committed to each other and see this current pain as paying off in the near future.

It’s not real just yet because Bob, modern though he is, has old-fashioned ideas.  He wants to put a ring on your finger first, wants to carry you over the threshold of a shared home, wants to settle into a nice stretch of married life as a couple before adding to your family.

It’s not real just yet.  It’s just a fun way of playing around in the bedroom, and it’s more about the power dynamics of the breeding kink.  You have an implant, so the risk is minimal, but it’s still fun to pretend.

Bob, the back seater who often feels powerless:  he gets to take the dominant role. 

You, the harried student who often feels like there’s too much piled on your shoulders:  you get to take the submissive role.

-----

It’s not real just yet, but it sure as hell feels real.  Bob is finally home from a tour around the South Pacific, and you’ve finally turned in pages to your thesis advisor.  You each have the luxury of time, for once, and you turn your respective life frustrations on each other in the best possible way.

It’s easy to forget it’s not real when Bob slides inside you, the wet silky heat of your pussy and not a single barrier to stop him from feeling every sensation.  The delicious slickness of your arousal, the molten warmth, the way you bear down when he’s buried in you and whispers in your ear.  He whispers the filthiest things he’s ever said in bed with anyone, and sometimes he’s embarrassed in the morning when he remembers it, but the embarrassment never lingers—because he loves you, because he feels safe to explore this side of himself with you.

I’m gonna breed you, sweetheart.

Just take it.  Good girl, take it.

Gonna look so good, full of my baby.

Gonna make you a mommy. 

Take all of it.

Taking me so good.  Can’t wait to see your belly all round with our baby.

Just lie back and take it like a good girl.

He fucks you slowly, deep, purposeful thrusts that he punctuates with his dirty talk.  He knows it’s not real, but it’s so easy to fall into the fantasy, especially when you whimper at his words, when you cling to his shoulders and whine out your answering script.

Wait, Bobby…wait…

Maybe we shouldn’t…

It’s all a game, of course.  It toes the line of dubious consent but Bob knows it’s all consensual because you never utter the safe word and neither does he.  And sometimes he thinks maybe it’s sick, maybe it’s twisted, and maybe no one else would understand it, but when he voices those concerns to you, you always allay them.  You always cup his face and tell him that what the two of you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business and no one else’s.

“Besides,” you told him once.  “You have no idea what your pals in Top Gun are into when it comes to kinks.  I bet Bagman is a foot fetish weirdo.”

So he pushes those doubts aside because fuck if it isn’t the hottest thing he’s done, exploring all the weird and surprising twists within his own sexuality and yours.

Your first orgasm is always the strongest—maybe because you pretend to fight it, pretend you don’t want this.  Bob notices all of your little tells:  the way your fingertips dig into the blades of his shoulders until he knows he’ll have dusty little bruises there in the morning.  The way your arousal absolutely soaks his pistoning cock, soaks the thatch of rough curls at the base of him.  The way you whine out no, please, as if your body is betraying you, and isn’t that part of the fantasy too:  that he fucks you so well that you can’t fight off the orgasm he works from you?

“Good girl,” he whispers against your temple.  “Good girl, coming for me.”  He slows his thrusting, savors the spasms of your aftershocks, allows you to recover. 

“Please Bobby,” you breathe out.  “It’s too risky—”

He closes his eyes and kisses your temple, feels the sweat making your hair damp.  “You think too much,” he murmurs.  He shifts his head, nips at your earlobe before he whispers in your ear, “just take it like a good girl.”

“Bobby—”

“You’re going to look so fucking hot, swollen with my baby.”  He says that staring into your eyes, which are wide in mock-fear, part of the game, but he can see how wide your pupils are too, your eyes damned near black, and it’s a reassuring reminder that yes, you are into this game too, you’re enjoying it as much as him.  And sure enough, there’s the answering clench in your pussy, the way you unconsciously bear down on him as he starts to resume his slow, firm rhythm of fucking you.

And now that you’ve come once, he takes it up a notch, ratchets the moment higher.  He gets an arm under your knee and hoists your leg up and out, spreads you out more for him to bury himself in you.  It grants him that extra bit of depth into your pussy, and each time he hilts his cock in you, it draws out a low groan from you, a throaty growl that makes the coil of tension in his gut tighten.

Here is usually where the game falters just a bit.  Bob’s never had this with any other girlfriend before; sex was always a fraught, anxious thing for him.  He always worried about his performance in bed.  Most of his girlfriends before you usually laid in bed like a starfish, limp and unresponsive, and it took Bob a long time to realize that it was them, not him, that was the problem.

But sex with you is always good.  Sometimes fun and playful, sometimes intimate and soulful.  Sometimes, like now, it’s both of you working through your own personal demons—him and his feelings of inadequacy, you and your feelings of overwhelm—but doing it together.  Exploring shadowy sides of yourselves in a perfectly safe, perfectly loving way.

How could he not want to put that ring on your finger, carry you over that threshold?  Bob could travel the world for the rest of his life and never find anyone half as suited to him as you.

And now, your second orgasm approaches.  Now your hands shift from clutching at his shoulders.  Your palms lay flat on his chest and you push lightly against him, the climax of your game timed to the climax you’ll share with him.

“Bobby, please,” you pant out.  “It’s not s-safe.  Pull…pull out—”

But he doesn’t because it’s part of the game, and a beat later, when you arch underneath him, when your eyes flutter shut and you wail out his name, he pushes into you and stills.  He feels his own tension snap, and he comes with a pained fuck, baby, take it, and it’s absolutely perfect:  the way your pussy ripples against his cock, how it pulls the thick ropes of his cum deeper into the confines of your body.

Here is where the game falls apart.  Or, rather, it ends.  Sex is a release for both of you, but since you are generally more stressed and wound-up than Bob, you have the habit of giggling directly afterwards.  Which might make a lesser man wither, but the tic charms Bob, and now he chuckles along with you.

“Oof,” you breathe out once the laughing passes.  You wrap an arm around his neck and pull him down to you.  “That was great.”

Bob is still half hard, so he shifts his weight carefully to avoid slipping out of you.  He leans his weight on one forearm and gazes down at you with a smile.  He brushes gentle kisses across your warm face.  “I missed you.”

You smile up at him.  “I missed you too.  I’m glad you’re home.”

Home.  Right now, it’s just a crummy little apartment near campus, but as Bob settles closer to you, he can already picture the future with you:  a better apartment or maybe even a house somewhere.  You with your PhD, him with his military career.  Each of you with rings on your fingers, vows made and received, maybe a dog adopted from a shelter.

And maybe, after that, you can play at your mutual kink for real.

#bob floyd #bob floyd imagine #bob floyd x reader #robert floyd #robert floyd imagine #robert floyd x reader #top gun maverick #kinktober 2023 #tropes and tales

[fuumiku]

Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization

The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.

If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:

Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.

Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.

It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.

Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.

#Dungeon meshi #Ask #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Marcille donato #chilchuck tims #Marchil #You me the parking lot after i finish and post my arc analysis #Sobbing……… we’re 20 over here in the rarepair pit come on. Like do u not see how obsessed i am. Do u think they like. Mean nothing to me #Do u think it’s all incidental and i slipped and the 10 thousands of words I write for them had no thought or feelings behind them or #Their arc is so beautifuuuuul they come to see each other and her standards become more real while he allows hope and openness #Into his heart again 😭😭 not the way two of their scenes lowkey read as a proposal… #Anyways I hope this makes it clear I’ll fight to my dying breath for them. #I don’t want trouble and i imagine you don’t either so just don’t come shitting on my doorstep #In positive news my fic Grind Me Down Sweetly recently reached 100 likes and 1k hits <3 it can also be read as just platonic so if you like #Them as a duo even as friends give it a shot #Every time I see someone shitting on marchil I start making marchil content faster btw #Not art

[devine-fem]

As someone who likes Damijon as both platonic and romantic…I don’t understand the obsession of certain antis bring up whole age gap thing when it comes to Damian and Jon. It’s getting really old and pissing me off at this point.

I can’t recall a fandom I’ve been in where antis kept bringing up an age gap between two characters.

Idk if I’m talking out of my ass but it sounds like as if antis think the fandom puts Damijon in sexual situations 24/7 when that’s not the case.

Jfc no one is forcing you to ship them if you don’t (it’s not even canon!) but don’t go around accusing the fandom as p*d*s just to make a point. ( I know in fandoms there some weirdos too but it doesn’t make up a whole)

Let the Damijon fandom enjoy whatever crumbles they are getting right now…because it’s really just crumbles at this point.

If those antis also consist of those who are our rival ships (they know who they are) like yall are getting canon content rn from DC if you’re upset with the quality of it speak with your wallet idk…???

Sorry for the rant it’s just for the most part Damijon fandom has been pretty chill (excluding Twitter that’s another can of worms) and I hate the accusations parts of the fandom love to make.

Yeah… people don’t talk about how Jon had to be 11 to Damian’s 13 before he left for space because they only read super sons, they never really look at any other source or think about their ages as more than that because tom taylor said out his mouth that they were 3 years apart when dissing the ship BUT he admits himself to not know their exact ages and that it could be a 2 year age gap.

So I just think of it as two years, and with two years I don’t really care because personally even in my youth I’ve been with people who are two years older with no issue because age alone doesn’t determine whether or not someone is taking advantage of you for obvious reasons. Age gaps are not tangible things, to some people what you consider weird is normal to someone else.

Then there’s the fact that neither Jon or Damian have birthdays. Damian was aged up for teen titans which people don’t seem to care about. Among other things like how Jon and Damian are the same age in most other universes… did you know that? Also, people like to say theres a maturity gap but forget that Damian was the immature one that picked fights. Plus, when characters grow up beside each other then it’s less ‘weird’ cause then they are expierencing similar traumas. It’s probably lots smaller then we think.

When I talk about them with a three year age gap then its probably platonic but sometimes romantic, two years then its sometimes platonic or romantic, one year, platonic or romantic and I stay between these because their age can slightly change their dynamic. It’s for fun, its exploring their platonic dynamic if it had elements of romance to it. Its interchangeable to me but for the most parts its two.

They are barbies that I play with at my own free will. They are not real people, they may imitate life but they do not infact replicate it.

So yeah… when they are young I only ever have really seen or interacted with media where J and D have not done more than maybe peck. Its just supposed to be cute and sweet.

Do people not understand the concept of the fact Jon and Damian should not be getting into a serious relationship while they are young or else it would go horribly wrong? Do they not understand that a lot of the ships appeal in the childhood friends TO lovers factor?

It kind of bothers me to be having to put the fact that I l hate Jonjay and like Daminika in my bio so people can get a feel for the type of person I am. And “rival” ships? there’s no rivalry, I don’t feel threatened by other peoples ships at all… especially if they’re canon… unless its like jonjay where the origin of the ship is inherently problematic, substanceless and built on character assassination… but we hate damijon and praise THAT? We say that damijon is worse than that? I’m sorry but jonjay to jon kent is jayroy to roy harper to me.

Twitter is very strange, very very strange people on that app to which this morning I had to uninstall because I KNEW that they would feel threatened by damijons today and hate profusely in response to it.

Although, you guys gotta put that age gap shit to bed…

Dami look 14 here to you? If Damijons are the ones who don’t read comics then how do we know that they are well in their 20s and 30s here. They are both consenting adults in main continuity that can do as they please here. You simply cannot say anything. No arguement can be supported now because now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

There was no point in hate the age gap really in the first place since time was always gonna heal it anyway???

But part of me kind of understands hating it if you experience fandom through twitter which is not a fandom app at all. Damijon stans are annoying and gross on twitter, I get it but not everyone is inherently horrible for obvious reasons.

#please read #asks #super sons #damian wayne #jon kent #supersons #jonathan kent #dc comics #superfam #batfam

[velvet4510]

I guess I’m one of those weirdos who so deeply feels the essence of an instrumental leitmotif from a film score associated with a particular character or couple, that I start associating said leitmotifs in my head with ANOTHER character from an entirely different film/book/series. And I’ve built up a whole library of leitmotifs for LOTR characters even though I ADORE Howard Shore’s original score for the trilogy. I consider these leitmotifs to be add-ons, NOT replacements.

Nor do I intend to completely dissasociate all of these themes from their intended films/characters; some of them are perfect fits for the films they were written for. It’s just my mind going wild like usual. (But I admit, in some cases, the pieces are from films I dislike, and thus I would rather see these great songs associated with something of LOTR quality rather than what they were actually stuck with, especially when the lack of lyrics gives you the freedom to let the melody take you wherever it takes you, personally.)

In the case of Silmarillion characters and relationships, well, it’s a different story - it really is my attempt to cobble together what could be a hypothetical score, if it were brought to the screen. Obviously it’d never be this exactly, but I would hope a composer for a potential screen adaptation of The Silmarillion might be inspired by themes like these.

In some cases, the characters these themes were originally written for don’t resemble the corresponding LOTR characters very much, or at all. Also some of them have titles that by themselves could not be more different from and unfitting for Tolkien’s world. It’s just the melodies on their own, without context or even name, performed by these gorgeous orchestras, that have come to remind me of particular Tolkien figure(s).

I also have found lots of “love themes”, both romantic and platonic, for character relationships, as you’ll see. I’ve included romantic themes for canonical couples, as well as for pairings that I personally ship. I know Shore already gave Aragorn and Arwen a theme, but as I said, these are all extra additions and not replacements.

And yes I have a lot of Star Wars stuff in here, because I love Star Wars…but I love Tolkien more.

For the heck of it I’ll share some of these, with links to each song on YT. It’s hard to explain why I made these choices/associations, but maybe you’ll get it if you listen to some of them.

CHARACTER THEMES

Frodo = “Romeo” by Nino Rota

Sam = “Rey’s Theme” by John Williams

Aragorn = “The John Dunbar Theme” by John Barry

Gandalf = “Yoda’s Theme” by John Williams

Legolas = “Rose Tico” by John Williams

Lúthien = “Once Upon a Time in the West” by Ennio Morricone

Éowyn = “Marion’s Theme” by John Williams

The Valar = “Guardians of the Whills Suite” by Michael Giacchino

THEMES FOR LANDS/LOCATIONS

The Undying Lands = “Out of Africa” by John Barry

ROMANTIC LOVE THEMES

Frodo x Sam = “Love Theme from Ben-Hur” by Miklos Rozsa

Beren x Lúthien = “Speak Softly Love” by Nino Rota

Faramir x Éowyn = “Han Solo and the Princess” by John Williams

Aragorn x Arwen = “Love Theme from Cinema Paradiso” by Ennio Morricone

Sam x Rosie = “Love Theme from Dances with Wolves” by John Barry

Bilbo x Thorin = “Midnight Cowboy” by John Barry

Thingol x Melian = “Indecent Proposal” by John Barry

Fingon x Maedhros = “Wuthering Heights” by Alfred Newman

Finrod x Bëor = “The Scarlet Letter” by John Barry

Aegnor x Andreth = “Laura” by David Raksin

Túrin x Beleg = “Across the Stars” by John Williams

Tuor x Idril = “Conversation Piece” by Bernard Herrmann

Eärendil x Elwing = “Tennessee” by Hans Zimmer

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP THEMES

Legolas & Gimli = “Rain Man” by Hans Zimmer

Boromir & Faramir = “Luke and Leia” by John Williams

Bilbo & Frodo* = “The Mother’s Love” by Miklos Rozsa

Elrond & Elros = “Brothers” by Hans Zimmer

I may edit this as I think of more.

* Bilbo & Frodo’s melody is heard in the first minute of the linked track, 0:00–1:01, and again towards the end; also, the love theme I associate with Frodo & Sam starts playing at 1:03, making this whole thing fit all the hobbits even better.

#lotr #jrr tolkien #lotr books #lord of the rings #film music #frodo baggins #samfro #frodo x sam #bagginshield #bilbo and frodo #legolas and gimli #eowyn x faramir #eowyn #aragorn #gandalf #luthien tinuviel #beren and luthien #aragorn x arwen #boromir #faramir #valinor #nienna #the valar #bilbo x thorin #farawyn #leitmotif

[angelmichelangelo]

so i just want to talk about the whole donnie and april thing from the 2012 series since i have a lot of thoughts on them both and need somewhere to just. get it out my system.

so off the bat im gonna say i’m pretty neutral about the april/donnie ship. i.. don’t really care for it but if it’s there it’s not gonna overly bother me. i’m pretty much on the fence for most things tmnt ship related (though, big exception for woodyangelo just cus. lol) that being said i do have some thoughts about how it was handled in the 2012 show.

as most people might agree, the writing for these two wasn’t great. i think, just in my humble opinion, that the writers kinda ping ponged back and forth depending on fandom criticism of the ship. one minute the relationship seemed to be slowly developing, a nice easy slow burn and then it’d take a sharp turn and it was back to a lot of uncomfortable pining and uncertainty as to where they would both end up. i think the writers wanted to appease both ends of the fandom here by making it somewhat ambiguous but it kinda blew up in their faces. big time.

so then you have the people who put all the blame on april for this. “she’s leading donnie on!” “she’s playing with both donnie and casey!” “she just wants the attention!” and, yeah. maybe. but here’s my defence: (bad writing aside for a moment, let’s pretend that all of this was done on purpose) april doesn’t know what she wants. when we meet april in the show it’s evident that she’s a little dorky and uncool and she doesn’t have ANY friends. she has irma but it seems to be one of those friendships built out of pure convenience. “oh you don’t have friends, i don’t have friends. cool. let’s hang out.” in every scene they have together it’s awkward and weird because they don’t really seem to click. april has like, as little social skills as the turtles. she doesn’t have friends let alone have TWO guys show her any appreciation and affection. how is she supposed to know how to deal with all that? she’s a teenage girl, feelings are complicated.

and some people might blame donnie. “he kept persisting even when she gave clear hints” “he was being a weirdo about it” “he made her uncomfortable” donnie is a teenage boy who happens to be a mutant. a mutant that lives underground and had never even MET a girl until they saved april. donnie’s only point of reference for romance is what he’s most likely seen on tv or in books. it’s that really cheesy affectionate stuff that might work in movies, but in real life is just strange. donnie has even less social skills that april. he’s only ever had his brothers and dad to talk to. he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings properly because up until he met april, he probably never even knew what it was to have a crush on somebody

my headcanon for these two is that donnie is clearly autistic. he’s very overly empathetic towards april but can’t understand why his efforts aren’t paying off like he thinks they will. i think april being a young teenage girl with a lot on her plate, might not recognise why donnie is acting this way. ive seen a lot of people also headcanon that april is aromantic which i totally 100% love and agree with. i don’t think she recognises this in the way donnie recognises his own autism. it causes them to clash, and neither of them really understand why that is, and can’t quite communicate it to the other until they’ve figured themselves out.

a lot of people say that 2012 ruined the donnie and april friendship that was pretty strong throughout the franchise but honestly, even the 2003 show had pepperings of donnie’s slight crush on april, even back then. it’s not as obvious but it was definitely there. obviously it never got brought up, which imo is a little heartbreaking to think of poor don harbouring these secret feelings for his friend and then having to just. get over it when she marries casey but i think their friendship is still pretty special to them both that it eventually stops becoming an issue for him.

2012 donnie was a social wreck. he had no clue what he was doing and i think the writers could have done waaaay better in making that less of a fault and more of just. idk. just something that made people hate him a little less. it’s in the same vein as mikey’s adhd. i think the writing was a product of its time and that’s why mutant mayhem tackles those issues way way better than 2012 ever did.

it could also be said that donnie and april don’t even really have a lot in common, like some iterations. she’s smart but she’s not a scientist, and donnie’s crush is first of all born out of just physical looks, meaning that maybe donnie just happened to latch onto her because he felt a teeny glimpse of normality (“i could love a girl and she could love me back”) and kinda just held onto that. any of the other girls in the show, donnie doesn’t really draw himself towards but that’s because the other girls are mostly his brothers love interests and donnie is a firm believing in sticking to the bro code lmao (although maybe just from mikey’s perspective, but donnie does seem quite friendly with renet but that might have just been a 2003 callback perhaps, but they have more in common than her and mikey do)

all in all, the donnie/april thing could have been handled way better, especially with casey thrown into the mix. but is there one person solely responsible for the way their relationship played out? absolutely not. they both crossed some boundaries and both made some mistakes that backfired but like i said, they are far from perfect and looking back on their arc together, it’s a little heartbreaking to see how.. unsure they both are, of themselves and of each other. but that’s just my two cent on the whole thing.

i don’t think female characters were the 2012 writers strong point sadly and april suffered as a result but i genuinely think in her good moments, she shines. and donnie isn’t a creep, he’s just a good kid that wants to find his own happiness, even if he looks in the wrong places, both their intentions are good, i believe.

okay rant over sound off in the tags/replies what you think of the donnie/april dynamic in 2012 😎

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt apriltello #tmnt donnie #tmnt april #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt #tmnt meta #tmnt 2012 meta

[schrijverr]

My Stab Wound, Not Our Stab Wound

When Ed gets stabbed on his way to work the rest of team Mustang realize just how high a pain tolerance he has.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: chronic pain, blood, injury, wound care

~~~~

Edward is having a Bad day. Yes, capital B bad. It just sucks from top to bottom from the second he wakes up.

It starts before he even opens his eyes, when the air has him groaning and 99% sure it’s going to rain later today, because there is an ache in his stumps that his automail keeps tugging at.

The groan alone would have been enough for Al to try to talk him out of going to report, but Al isn’t here right now and the sooner Ed goes to report to colonel bastard, the sooner he can go save Al from his own kindness.

The town they had followed yet another busted lead to the philosopher's stone in is in the middle of setting up for a festival and Al is very useful when it comes to lugging heavy pieces of stalls and a stage around. So, naturally the younger had stuck around.

If he’s honest, Ed would have loved to stick around as well, but alas he had been called back to eastern command instead.

Colonel bastard had kindly – read in his usual asshole-y manner – explained to Ed that he is behind on his reports and paper work. Until he is caught up, the colonel is not giving him another lead and he does have another lead. Ed can’t afford to waste those few days to catch up to help with the festival alongside Al, so he went to back to East City alone.

Of course, Al wanted to come with him. He was ready to go the second Ed told him he had to, but Ed couldn’t bring himself to ask Al to go, no matter how much he would have loved the company of his little brother.

Because the festival reminded both of them of the sheep festival back home. Of the good days of their childhood. And it was clear how badly Al wanted to stay. Ed couldn’t take that from him. Not after everything else he’d already taken.

So here he is, groaning in pain and all by himself in his dorm bed.

For a second he contemplates listening to the Al in his head and staying down for today. However, getting to command today is to save time, not add more to it. Besides, it isn’t raining right now and the pain is still manageable, who knows how bad it’ll get when the water does start to fall.

Still, he allows himself a moment of misery, before forcing himself out of bed, cursing his way through his morning routine.

He is still grumbling when he walks down the streets towards eastern command. His foul mood is radiating off him, so most people give him a wide berth, something Ed is grateful for. Because of this, it comes as a surprise as someone bumps into him harshly, sending him sprawling to the ground with a loud thud, pain radiating from his shoulder.

“Hey!” he exclaims, getting up and glaring at the guy that ran into him. “Watch where you’re fucking going, asshole.”

For some reason the guy gets very pale, looking almost stricken. And he doesn’t reply to Ed’s comment at all.

Ed follows his gaze, spotting his watch, which is now dangling from his belt instead of tucked into his pocket like normal. He shoves it back and rolls his eyes, sighing: “I’m not going to arrest you or some shit just because ran into me. I’m not a dick.”

The guy looks like he can’t believe it, but before Ed can say anything else, he has turned on his heel, running away as fast as he can.

“Weirdo,” Ed mumbles to himself, before continuing the journey.

There is still a pain in his shoulder – the left one this time – from where the guy bumped into him, which must have been harder than Ed thought. It’s another layer of shit on his already shit day, because he was planning on writing with that arm, shittier handwriting be damned. He still probably will, but it will suck ass.

Sour mood pertaining, he stomps the last leg of his journey, blessedly alone in the streets, since most are off at work at this point.

The command center itself also isn’t as busy as it usually is, most still catching up on yesterday’s work. Ed feels relieved that he doesn’t have to greet people as they pass. Al would call him rude, but sometimes he’s just not in the mood to be nice. That’s perfectly normal, in his opinion. Al can stuff his manners.

Angrily he kicks open the door the office, allowing a small sense of satisfaction at the loud bang it produces.

That satisfaction is immediately wiped away by Mustang’s smarmy voice as he says: “Ah, Fullmetal, how nice of you to ruin my door again. What did it do this time? Call you short?”

Ed glares at him, not sure if he’s even in the mood to snap back at him. He normally would be flying off the rails, but he’s sore and tired and he just wants to get today over with. It’s already shitty enough without having to deal with colonel bastard on top of it. He just wants to get through his paperwork in peace.

He knows it’s suspicious not to get mad at Mustang and he does feel annoyance coursing through his veins.

But the atmosphere looks peaceful, with most of them diligently working, except for Mustang and Havoc, since the colonel is leaning against the latter’s desk. They’d been likely chatting before Ed came in. However, maybe it was work related, since Hawkeye isn’t shooting at either of them.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, colonel bastard,” Ed settles on. “Just give me my damn paper work so I can get out of here as soon as I can.”

Now, Ed isn’t so stupid that he doesn’t see the rest of the team share a concerned look with each other at his lack of response. However, he’s also not admitting that he’s hurting because of the rain and missing his brother. That would be childish and he’s not childish. He’s not.

In his own way, it is kind of sweet that Mustang tries to get a rise out of him by saying: “Really, no more attitude? Who are you and what have you done with my subordinate? I mean, you’re shrimp-y enough, but I don’t know…”

“Like you’ve ever been thrilled to do paperwork,” Ed snaps, not in the mood for Mustang’s mind games and teases. “And I’m not shrimp-y!”

Mustang pulls a face that screams ‘fair enough’ – because it’s not like Ed is wrong – before he pushes himself of Havoc’s desk to go get his pile.

Ed goes to follow him. He doesn’t have his own desk, since he’s rarely there, so he’ll often catch up on paperwork at the colonel’s coffee table, spreading over his couch, which honestly sounds like a lovely space to drop down after the shitty morning he’s had.

However, the second he turns, Havoc lets out a loud: “Holy fucking shit, Chief!”

Immediately Ed whirls back around again, thinking it might be a cry for help. But nothing stands out, except for the white faces of the others. As if the blood as been drained out.

He is about to ask what’s wrong when Mustang exclaims: “What the fuck!” Before demanding: “You didn’t tell me you were injured, Fullmetal. What happened?”

“Injured?” Ed asks, confused, because, yeah, he’s hurting, but he’s not visibly injured as far as he’s aware. “I’m injured?”

For a moment, all he gets are shocked expressions, as if they can’t believe what he’s saying. But, luckily, there is Hawkeye, who says: “You have a knife sticking out of your shoulder, major. I believe it’s the flesh side.”

Ed has no memory of being stabbed this morning – and it must have been this morning, because he does distinctively remember laying on his back in bed and he’s sure he would have noticed a knife then.

Absentmindedly he reaches back to check as he goes through this morning, before he gasps: “That asshole!”

“What?” Mustang demands as he hovers around him, which is annoying and un-bastard-like.

“Some guy bumped into me this morning, I thought it must be a stupid accident, but he just failed to rob me or some shit. Probably stumbled instead of threateningly sliding up behind me,” Ed explains. “No wonder he was so nervous.”

“How did you not notice getting mugged?” Fuery explains, looking a little green around the gills.

“Not the point right now,” Havoc cuts in. “We need to get you to a hospital!”

Hospital seems to have been the magic word, because it seemingly catches up to all of them that Ed has a knife in his back. And that is not good.

However, the last thing Ed wants is to be stuck in a hospital, so he quickly says: “It’s not that bad you guys, no need for a hospital. I’m sure one of you knows how to stitch someone up. We can just patch me up right here.”

“You can’t seriously-” Mustang starts, before he is cut off by Hawkeye: “Havoc is the team medic, but I can do it too if you’d prefer.”

“Lieutenant!” Mustang exclaims, sounding appalled that she is even entertaining it.

“He is not going to the hospital unless it’s screaming and kicking, sir. Better to minimize the injury,” Hawkeye explains in her matter of fact tone.

“He needs to see a medical professional,” Mustang protests. “There’s a knife in his back.”

“Uhm, he is right here,” Ed pipes up with a scowl, annoyed that they’re all making a big deal out of it. “And I don’t wanna go to the hospital. Just stitch me up here and I’ll be fine. The longer you argue, the more I’m going to bleed.”

Ed isn’t sure which part of the comment wins Mustang over. He wants to claim it’s his stubbornness that colonel bastard knows he’s never going to win from, however, a small part of him can’t help but think it’s the bleeding part. That Mustang might be genuinely concerned about his well being and safety. Which is absurd and he won’t entertain the thought.

“Fine,” is what Mustang huffs in the end. “But Havoc is doing the stitching. He’s the trained professional here and we’re doing it by the book.”

Hawkeye seems to be fine with that decision and orders Ed to her chair, while she goes to get the med kit for Havoc, who is also getting his ass in gear to assess the wound.

“We don’t know how long it is, but based off the blood flow, it hasn’t hit anything vital. Just some stitches and taking it easy for a bit will probably be enough. But no cheering yet, if it’s really far, we might still take you to the hospital, chief,” Havoc says.

“I don’t wanna,” Ed whines, knowing it is a little childish, but he doesn’t care. He isn’t in the mood for a hospital – granted, he never is, but it’s worse without having Al there.

“Well, you might not get a say,” Havoc counters, luckily not sounding patronizing, but just realistic. “If it looks like it might have messed with your shoulder too much, we’ll have to. Or you’ll be out of commission for even longer.”

That gets Ed to quiet down about it and accept his fate. He can’t afford to waste time being out of commission. They have to get their bodies back. Al has to get his body back.

Hawkeye returns with the med kit and Havoc prepares the needle. Ed pointedly doesn’t look at said needle, trying not to think about it. Stitches are somehow better than shots, but they still suck and not having to see them helps.

Once that is done, Havoc gets in position, warning: “I’m about to get the knife out and your clothes off so I can see the wound. You ready? Need a count down?”

“I’m good, just pull it out,” Ed replies, bracing himself.

Havoc does just that, tugging the knife out of Ed’s body. Now, his pain receptors have admittedly been out of whack ever since he lost his limbs, so only a little stab of pain goes through Ed at the action. Not enough to flinch.

Ed helps Havoc in getting his layers off, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of warm, sticky blood sliding down his back. Ugh, it’s what he hates most about getting injured.

Under instruction of Havoc, Hawkeye puts pressure on the wound, while Havoc puts on some gloves and preps the stuff to clean the wound.

Meanwhile, Mustang is still hovering in a way that Ed isn’t thinking about. The colonel asks: “Are you doing okay? You sure you don’t need the hospital?”

“I’m fine, bastard,” Ed rolls his eyes. “Look, the knife wasn’t that big at all. Was an amateur mugging. I might even have been his first.”

“That’s not at all soothing, Fullmetal,” Mustang sighs, sounding exasperated, fond and exhausted at the same time.

“Who says I’m soothing you, asshole? I got stabbed, shouldn’t you be soothing me?” Ed shoots back.

“Do- do you want me to?” Mustang asks, sounding cautious and uncertain, but like he means it.

It makes something weird twist up inside Ed and he explodes: “Of course I don’t want that, you bastard. Don’t make it weird.”

“You came in with a knife in your back, kid. Pretty sure it’s already weird,” Breda pipes up.

“Oh shut up,” Ed says, though he’s calmed down a little again. “It was a minor stab wound.”

“How can a stab wound be minor?” Falman wonders out loud as Fuery besides him gets even paler as he watches Havoc clean Ed’s wound with alcohol, while the teen only hisses a little bit.

“Is Fuery okay?” Ed asks, once Havoc has put the wipe down again “He’s looking a little pale.”

“I’m good,” the young sargent squeaks, though he proceeds to pass out when Havoc first stabs the needle in Ed’s back.

Ed can relate, needles suck. He has seen too many in his lifetime already and he’s glad he’s not seeing this one. The sensations aren’t that bad and without the visual, it’s easier to ignore the fact that it is a needle.

Mustang watches on, looking a little horrified, but also impressed as he asks: “How are you not even responding right now?”

“It’s just a little prick,” Ed says, barely stopping himself from shrugging. “It’s not like you can really feel it.”

“Most definitely would feel this,” Havoc informs him. “I’ve seen grown men cry, because of stitches. You’re a real tough cookie, chief.”

Ed doesn’t really believe that and sends an incredulous look over his shoulder to Havoc. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s not as bad as the stabbing and I thought that was either because the guy bumped into me or because it was my automail radiating through.”

“Your automail?” Hawkeye asks and if it was anyone other than her, Ed might have gotten defensive or avoidant, honestly.

Instead, he just says: “Yeah, it’s going to rain later, so my ports are reacting to the air pressure or some shit. It can radiate through from the port. Just thought it was that.”

“It gets that bad?” Mustang frowns.

“It’s not bad,” Ed snaps, defenses up again. “I can function just fine. It’s not even raining yet, so I am perfectly okay. I just gotta do my paperwork and then I’m gone again. No need to get all tied up, colonel bastard.”

Mustang doesn’t look like he believes Ed, but he also doesn’t push under the force of Ed’s glare (which pleases him intensely).

“Okay, all done,” Havoc announces from behind, applying a bandage while cutting through the tension.

“Great! Thank you, Havoc,” Ed says, getting up and putting his clothes on again. They’re a little crusty with blood, but a little alchemy fixes that right up. Then he gestures to Mustang: “You were getting my paperwork.”

“Are you sure you’re able to work?” Mustang asks.

“Yes! I am!” Ed explodes again. “It’s just a fucking stabwound, Mustang. It’s fucking nothing, you’re all being so dramatic about it. Just let me do my work so I can get the hell out of here. Not all of us have time to laze around.”

Ed can see in Mustang’s eyes that there’s a war waging inside him. He holds his breath as he waits to see how the colonel will react.

After a moment, Mustang dawns a smug look as he says: “Well, I guess it fits. A small stab wound for a small alchemist.”

That sets Ed off again, but this time, the explosion chafes less. Instead it feels familiar, a well worn melody they’ve played a hundred times. A nice way to be angry and frustrated without needing to be vulnerable. Just what Ed needs to feel like himself again after all the concern that had wafted off of the group.

He ignores how the colonel knows that about him as he follows him into his office, sprawling on the couch to catch up on paperwork.

Later, he’ll get berated by Al for not going to the hospital after he was stabbed and for not taking it easy when his ports hurt. But Ed doesn’t mind, he’ll listen to Al be worried a thousand times over as they ride off to a new lead. He really feels like this one might be it. And no time wasted in East City, the whole goal of the stunt.

And the rest of team Mustang, would never underestimate Ed after that day. They already knew the kid is a little insane, but holy shit, can Fullmetal take a hit. He probably has the highest pain tolerance in that office and all of them know and respect him for it.

Even if it hurts that Ed has already hurt so much that it doesn’t register anymore.

~~

A/N:

I can’t remember where I saw it, but Havoc as the team medic just rings so true for me, so I had to put it in here xp

Also, if you get stabbed, go to a hospital pls and let people with actual medical knowledge look at it

#rr writing #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist #edward elric #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #jean havoc #team mustang #bamf edward elric #edward elric has chronic pain #automail #automail hurts #tw: blood #tw: injury #tw: wound care

[andro-dino]

axel you will regret this,, kyoya + 7, 14, 15, 16, 22

I’m too lazy to copy and paste all the questions so I’m just gonna put screenshots lolz

I like that the trans guy Kyoya hc is pretty universally agreed upon that makes me happy. Besides that though, at least for the side of the fandom that I’m on, I am so happy that people are so willing to make fun of him. Like yeah he’s cool occasionally but he is SO lame and SUCH a dorkass loser most of the time and I’m so glad that everyone’s in on that. I don’t think I’d be able to survive if the majority of the fandom tried to defend him tooth and nail when he is so clearly so very stupid (I say this mostly of love (mostly))

14. I guess grunge is the main one that comes to mind? idk for as much as I like fashion I am so bad at thinking about different styles and actual names of aesthetics. my takes on Kyoya’s fashion sense are that he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t actually know how to dress and just puts some kind of jacket on top of some baggy, ripped clothes and calls it a day and hes just lucky it works out so well for him

15. oh golly gee I sure do wonder. there’s a lot of Kyoya ships I’m insane about but kyohyotsu is still my #1 they mean so much to me. I’ve been thinking a bit more about kyomado again recently too I’ve been meaning to draw them again but haven’t gotten around to it

16. There’s a lot of kyoya ships that exist and there’s a whole lot of those that I REALLY don’t like, all for different reasons, but 🦁🪽 and 🦁🐉 I think are the ones that inspire the most visceral reactions in me. I’ve kinda already said my piece on why I don’t like both of those a while back before so I don’t really wanna go into it much again, and of course that’s no hate to the people that do ship those (except the weirdos. both of those have a lot of weirdo shippers), I just personally really dislike both of them.

I like kyoya as a dork ass loser in love who doesn’t know how to handle being in love it’s really funny. I like silly fluffy ship fics more than anything and taking super serious and cool and strong Kyoya and putting him in that scenario is so golden. I guess when it comes to dislikes with him, i really don’t like when people flatten down his character a ton to just make him 100% needlessly aggressive 100% of the time, it just really does his character a disservice I think. There’s a lot of ways people do his character wrong as a whole but I think the main thing is that a lotta people don’t know where the balance is when it comes to his aggression.

#axel’s silly little thoughts #what a guy this guy is #I’m gonna be so real #ik the reasons why I dislike 🦁🪽 I just don’t know why I dislike it to the degree I do #LIKE GENUINELY THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THE SHIP ITSELF BUT IT JUST MAKES ME UNCOMFY IDK #I truly do not know what it is bc it really is not that serious

[atopvisenyashill]

So I came upon your blog while looking through the asoiaf tag and explored it a bit. Would you please explain to me how are you against Targaryen incest, but find Jonsa fine? I’m genuinely curious, as I’ve just started reading the books (I’m half-way through a storm of swords) and find nothing fine about any form of incest, whether it is or not considered as such in-universe. I also find little to no Jonsa moments. Could you help me? Thank you!

okay so first of all i got sent an ask forever ago about what the appeal of jonsa is and i’ve been working on explaining basically where i see the plot going and why it’s thematically relevant and is2g i’m still actually putting it together it’s just doing that in a middle of a reread is tough bc my ideas are kinda all over the place lmao (just like this ask is about to be sorry!) (also once again, sorry if my tone comes across very weird, i swear i reread like twelve times to make sure i don’t sound too snarky and wasn't just vomitting up a thousand words of nonsense lmao!!).

BUT. Well there’s three points to this: what the characters may feel, what i feel about jonsa, and what i feel about targ incest. so first the characters:

I think it’s important to point out that first cousin marriage (and auncle/nibling marriage, esp if it’s a “half” relation) are not considered true incest in westeros and in many parts of our world. rickard and lyra, ned’s parents, are cousins. joanna and tywin lannister are first cousins. jonnel and sansa and edric and serena are uncle/nieces, and you’ll note that when alys karstark comes to jon for help, he is disgusted that her uncle is trying to steal her inheritance and not that he’s her uncle attempting to marry her. i point this out because not only is there nothing legally stopping a jonsa marriage, the characters themselves may also see it that way (as not incest). and if your next point is “well they grew up thinking they’re siblings” my answer is - yes and? One of the influences on this series is Mervyn Peake, who wrote gothic medieval stories, and both incest and pseudo-incest is very much a big part of gothic stories! A lot of the storylines in this world are dedicated to exploring incest as a force of socialization and romanticism, from Naerys pleading to live “as brother and sister” and Aegon insisting “we already are” to Alysanne’s “Alyssa is meant for Baelon” to Jaime’s “he heard none of it" in the sept. I don’t think it’s that far of a stretch to posit that two characters we have POVs for will fall in love and grapple with what that love says about them, about society, about their role in the world - and in fact, about half of Jon’s most popular ships are between him and a female relative. Sansa makes more sense to me because she’s closer to his age than Arya, has a more troubled relationship with him, is involved in the political aspects of the story just as much as he is, and isn’t likely to immediately start setting people on fire after they meet.

Now as for me, basically - i think both types of incest are the result of socialization + extreme trauma, and I fully expect that if Jonsa goes canon it will have a tragic ending. I think Jonsa takes some of the inherent misogyny of targ incest and plays around with it - Jon having significantly less societal privilege than basically every other Targaryen and what that means for Sansa as an heiress - but just because I think an exploration of that dynamic will be interesting, doesn’t mean I don’t expect it to be rife with problems.

because the problem with incest is the power dynamic ultimately, and you cannot escape that power dynamic bc people don’t exist in a vacuum. For all the Starks have some fucked up skeletons in their closet, Lyanna doesn’t show up in Ned’s bed naked and ask him to stop her betrothal to Robert, does she? This is the fundamental difference between targ incest and Jonsa or even Lannicest; Lannicest is rampant with toxicity from both of those deranged weirdos but they feel entitled to each other's bodies because of their own trauma surrounding their tumultuous childhoods (and probably some normalization of incest from their parents and proximity to Aerys/Rhaella/Rhaegar), but no one is saying "Jaime you are owed Cersei's body" or "Cersei your womb belongs to your brother and your brother alone." So I don't feel the need to sit here and go "Lannicest is toxic" like yeah? Clearly, lmao, these two feel like they are so damaged, and made so special by that damage, that they can only love one another, that's not what anyone would call healthy. I don't think it's necessary to sit here and explain that dynamic has abuse problems; it's right there in the text!

"well what about the power dynamic between jon and sansa?" YES WHAT ABOUT IT. that's the point! i'm interested in how a dynamic that is inherently abusive will play out between two people who were raised to believe some types of incest are okay but not others, who are victims of abuse and societal alienation themselves. because at the same time that i condemn targ incest, there are obviously real feelings and genuine care in these relationships and in these people, because again, people don't exist in a vacuum. daemon backs rhaenyra into this corner and then crucially does not kill any of her children because he realizes that's a step too far, she'd never forgive it, perhaps even because he grew to love them (i mean, Lucerys and Joffrey likely barely remember any other father but Daemon!). maegor is a monster who very specifically never harms rhaena's daughters! aemon is a useless pos but it seems likely he had a hand in raising naerys' son to be better than aegon because he could see the harm he and his brother were doing to naerys even if aemon was too much of a coward to actually stop that harm in any meaningful way! the difference, to me, is that jon will see that this relationship built on trauma and grief may be the only love he and sansa will ever allow themselves to feel but it is not healthy for them, and jon will leave! and sansa will realize she is not the impassive, frozen, detached symbol that the men around her want her to be, but a living, breathing person with her own wants and desires and agency, and will let him go!

Ultimately, while i think romanticizing and sexualizing the taboo is fine and even healthy, for me, there has to be some acknowledgement that you are in fact romanticizing the taboo. This is why the shitty dudes in asoiaf work for me in a way shitty dudes outside of asoiaf don’t usually - my general bitching about parts of the narrative that don’t click for me aside, there’s firm condemnation of the people engaging in these behaviors, from cersei sexually abusing lancel to sandor creeping on sansa. just because the narrative also shows us and wants us to feel empathy for sandor and cersei and why they’ve become bad people doesn’t mean what they’re doing isn’t bad. that’s what i like! i don’t want a story that holds my hand and drags me to the moral nor do i want a story that presents a god awful person who is supposed to be morally upright and not mean for us to dig deeper into them!

(this is why i like the pt but not the st of star wars, if you want an example - for all the prequels are um. flawed. lucas has an overreaching story about the effects of war, slavery, and interpersonal abuse that he’s dedicated to, and we are meant to be horrified by anakin choking padme just as surely as we’re meant to mourn their relationship and love for each other when palpatine gleefully tells anakin she’s dead and ani destroys the room in grief. vs like. what were the sequels even fucking doing man).

So the thing here is that I actually do in fact find Targaryen incest interesting while being morally repugnant as a practice, and I'm positive Jonsa will play around with both the morality of incest and the romanticism of it in a way that I find just as interesting, varied, romantic, and fulfilling as like, the Jaime/Cersei(/Brienne/Tyrion) mess or the Daemon/Rhaenyra/Laena/Harwin debacle! I like incest and I also hate it! I contain multitudes!

#asks #anti targaryen #jonsa #stone and snow remains #AND CAVEAT. I LOVE AND RESPECT MY JONSA MOOTS WHO BELIEVE IN HAPPY JONSA. i am not about to play these fandom games #of 'well i'm not like those bad jonsas who only care about their ship' absolutely not. i think happy jonsa atp doesn't make narrative sense #TO ME. but i GET the people who see the path. i'm not about to posit myself as the 'rational jonsa' bc that's stupid. #(not saying anon is doing that but i am saying i see that happen a lot and i think it's annoying!!) #this is just a rant. i am so sorry. i cannot figure out how to cut it down.

[datonetf2rarepair]

Let’s talk about FruityCrits

First off, i am in no way associated with SmokeNSoda, I like their work and that's about it. We're not even mutuals/friends

Alright let's dive in shall we?

FruityCrits has this big obsession over SmokeNSoda and SpyScout

He did some witch hunts in the summer of 2022 on twitter, which the tweets related to the hunts have since been deleted

In this screenshot, he says those that ship SpyScout gets an instablock

Days later, he said he has blocked who he needed to and wanted to go back to do his lusting

Months later, he stirs shit up again

I remember FruityCrits making some rumour-type tweets about unwinden, trying to smear their name because of the above, FruityCrits has deleted those as well

As pointed and stated, and is it really incest if they're ocs and unrelated? Some people don’t see a problem with that. FruityCrits here however seem to be childish about it

They're someone's ocs, and both ocs aren't related. They're not the canon characters. But according to him, all ocs are not ocs and are all canon characters? wut?

This just screams "I'm covering my ears and SCREECH”

Now remember that he said he would block, and instablock even! Anyone who ships SpyScout?

This doesn’t sound like has blocked SmokeNSoda, how would he know all about this? Either he hasn’t blocked SmokeNSoda or he secretly loves SpyScout and/or has a secret account that follows SmokeNSoda

These tweets above don’t seem to make sense, either there are deleted tweets or he is just delusional

Now fast forward to recently

Checking the person you seem to have a huge hatred for on a regular? Why would you look at things that really upset you? Unless you secretly love SpyScout

The weirdo here seem to be Fruitycrits since he has this big obsession over SmokeNSoda and SpyScout. He never stopped despite saying that he was done. Because here he is, almost a year later, he is still talking about this

For someone who is in his late 20s, he acts like a preteen, who probably isn’t ready to be on the internet yet

----

I get people don’t always want to see the ship. That’s why tags exist, that’s why people use those tags for content and trigger warnings. That’s why you block those tags if you don’t want to see it.  It’s that simple.

Sometimes people make content you may not agree with, but that doesn’t mean you have start attacking people for it. Do you know how easy it is to click the unfollow or block button? But apparently some people are so stupid they prefer to screech instead of click one single button

Also, some of them make the claim that fiction is reality. Fiction is not reality. Yes, fiction can impact reality,  but it isn’t one and the same. If you can’t distinguish fiction from reality then, well, you’re either not ready for fiction or not old/stable enough to be able to tell the two apart.

If fiction really IS reality then so many movies and books would have been banned, or the writers of those must have been in jail by now, right? Writing a book about a fictional serial killer does not mean the writer is planning to or already has committed murder.

YOU are in control of what you see on the Internet. Don’t like a certain type of content? BLOCK IT! or just, STOP LOOKING AT IT! it’s not that hard!

#FruityCrits #tf2

[desertfangs]

Of course you must do Armand, The Special Boy himself, for the character ask thing. ❤️

I got two requests for Armand, so this is for both of you anons!

Sexuality Headcanon: I think Armand is fascinated by sex and the many aspects of it and what it means and how different people react to similar stimuli. I think he explored this a lot with Daniel and learned a lot about what he personally still enjoys as a vampire in that way. I think he and Daniel are the most humanly sexual of the vampires together because even though their bodies don’t work in the same way anymore, they have so much history of sexual activity between them and that kind of intimacy is just second nature to them. (But don’t misunderstand me, I said most humanly sexual, not that they are the only pairing that plays with those things.) 

Gender Headcanon: Gender? Who’s that? 

A ship I have with said character: Armand/Daniel obviously. I can bang my ‘they’re soulmates’ drum again but I’ve probably covered it. Daniel allows Armand to be himself completely and loves him for it, messy parts and all, and I think that’s something Armand had needed for hundreds of years until Daniel came along: someone who would unabashedly love him for the little weirdo he is and want him as desperately as Armand wants him back. I also think Armand needs reassurance and Daniel is very tactile and affectionate and so he gives him that. Daniel is the lover and partner Armand deserves.

I also love Armand’s dynamic with Lestat. I admittedly love Armand pining for Lestat because it’s delicious but I do think they’re fun together in a more traditional sense too, lovers who constantly bicker and squabble and fight and then have super hot makeup sex. And of course his relationship with Louis is fascinating and intriguing.

A BROTP I have with said character: Bianca is sort of his bro? Bro with benefits? I think she’d be a voice of reason and a stabilizing force for him in the post-canon era. 

A NOTP Not Right Now TP I have with said character: I don’t ship Marius/Armand right now, in the post-canon era, as things stand. But it’s not a NOTP it’s a “Boys, you need to work some shit out, Daniel needs to lock you in the cellar of TG and you have to hash out some crap first” situation. And I think they will. They have a lot of issues that go bone-deep, right down in the marrow, and that’s not even counting Marius turning S&B, so… they just need to work some things out. But I’m rooting for them! 

A random headcanon: Armand likes to sneak out onto the roof of Trinity Gate and look up at the stars on clear nights, particularly when the activity inside gets to be too much and he just needs a moment to himself. Sometimes Daniel will go up there and join him and they’ll sit quietly except to point out constellations and maybe share some random gossip they just learned. 🤫.  General Opinion over said character: Armand is amazing. He has the most fascinating and complex character arc in the entire series, he’s a delightful weirdo who does stuff his own way, who wants to know everything about the world. He’s often the voice of reason in the later books, even if he’s brushed off. He loves deeply and cares so much about his loved ones. He’s just an incredible character and he’s so fun to read about and write about and I love him a lot.

#armand #the vampire armand #anonymous #answers in the desert #vc headcanons #armand/daniel #vc #vampire chronicles

[katyspersonal]

Re: This post

First off, congrats on three years, girlie!! This is so cool, man. I love seeing Soulsborne games change people’s worlds and give them passion and inspiration for years afterwards <333

(Now hurry up and get to over ten years like me you scrub 😎😎)

Asfghajsdg but in all seriousness, I love that we both started getting active around the BB tumblr fandom around the same time, because even though I was a Soulsborne junkie, I had never found a stable group of lore-friends to enjoy it with, and throughout 2020-2021, I was just drifting aimlessly after watching my old fandom community collapse.

I had been only using tumblr for random shit on another account before this one, but one day I looked up something about the Doll and Gehrman, kinda wondering if the whole “Even the Doll” creep-theory had any other interpretations. I just didn’t like the idea that Miyazaki had written his main “sad old man” of Bloodborne to be a weirdo because it didn’t sound…right? Something felt really off lol. His “sad old men” types usually are dark because of their grave mistakes that led to the deaths of people they cared about/innocent people.

It’s always more tragic than it is gross, and Miyazaki is big on that type of story-telling. He likes his refinement. Sure enough, that gave me the hunch that the Doll wasn’t…ya know.

And voila! I stumble across your brilliant post! I think it was one of the things that made me finally create a Soulsborne blog because I wanted to reblog it. I’m not sure if that’s the exact timeline, but it was definitely part of what drew me over here.

And now here we are, going strong, trying to move on after going through fandom drama hell, and it’s been three years!

Honesty? You are kicking ass <3

Girl you say this, but at the almost same time, Fantomette also started scouting the fandom and figured she wanted to stick with me over that post :pensive: That post makes me extremely nostalgic! It was just... so chill, so nice, so leveled. 0% fatigue. Where did that nice version of me go and who is this angry unlikeable bitch typing this ask response now? xD

But yeah, overall, Soulsborne games are just written in such a way that it genuinely helps to know all of them on at least basic story level to understand each of them individually! The more I learned about reoccuring themes in other games in the series, the better my lore understanding became. You know I would not do shit on Research Hall and Deep Sea without DS3, or better grasp ER characters without entire DS trilogy! If you don't want to play, just learn their themes and story, I promise it helps a lot!

Anyways thank you for the nice words; I had not even noticed how fast the time went by! It feels like I have not done "enough" considering three years span, but maybe I am underestimating myself and focusing too much comparing amount of my drawings compared with faster and more talented artists. After all, fandomry is first about discussions and passion, and I've had nothing BUT that on the way x) So yeah, let's just give up and die watch fandom crash and burn. Because, you know what? THE very "system" that made it crash and burn to begin with will also, eventually, crash and burn, and something good will sprout from the ruins. And we won't miss it! Except, that good era will also crash and burn eventually. And then the thing that destroyed it will. And then what people build from THOSE ruins will. And then another thing... and another thing... and another thing.....

STILL I want you to be there for me through every turn of the downward spiral, you chicken <3 *stabs u affectionately*

#fandomry rambles #ask replies #lmao sorry this brador's line is like my whole personality

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

sorry im gonna send you another ask cos im Obsessed with you. now do star trek. um specially ds9 but also tng pls and thank you also i love you . And you can answer for tos too if you want 😋

KICKS MY LITTLE FEETS IN THE AIR FOREVERRRRR 🤭🤭🙈🙈🙈 YAAYAYY MUTUAL OBSESSIONNNN ❣️❣️❣️❣️ILYYYY

Favorite character: tos is spock tng is data ds9 is quark HEEHEEEE 🤭🤭🤭

Second favorite character: tos is jim tng is UHM. IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE. BUT MY SWEET ANGEL WESLEY 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 OR MY SILLY ANGEL WORF 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 and ds9 i loveeee jadzia… 💙💙💙

Least favorite character: tos i dont dislike anyone on the crew so probably mudd bc even tho i really love his eps hes a good villain hes also a misogynist </3 tng is pulaski like SORRYYY to all the thinkpiece bitches out there saying its not feminist to hate her bc shes basically the same as bones its like. 1. okay so shes kind of badly written bc they just tried to rip off bones and 2. her thing with data isnt the same as his with spock bc spock was bitchy right back but data just didnt get it. so she was just being straight up cruel to him all the time and nobody defended him. YEAH SHE GOT ME HEATED. and ds9 i got distracted by so many other tv shows shes been on hiatus for a bit but kai winn booooo we hate your ass 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

The character I’m most like: now. Uhm. literally fighting one million years with myself to determine kirk or spock and i never fully decided so we will leave it at they are two sides of the same coin and that coin is MEEEE ^_^. tng is hard to say bc i love them all but none of them ever grabbed me by the throat and shoved me into a mirror like so many other shows have done. i think either data geordi or picard (minus his leadership skills) would be the closest fit for me. and well as those who were here for biquark url know. 😏🤭

Favorite pairing: tos is obviously spirk 5ever and always like it changed the world. they are the fucking blueprint for everything they invented gay people. tng literally everything is so fun i think everyone has huge chemistry such interesting dynamics with each other. deanna and riker invented t4t bi4bi love but then geordi and data invented my lovely robot wife but then rikorf invented silly boy and autistic boy love and then qcard invented me and my wet crumpled paper bag weirdo boyfriend. HOW COULD I DECIDE… 💔💔 and ds9 quodo is everythang… i love you sillies ❤️

Least favorite pairing: this has less to do with tos and more the crimes of other trek series using tos characters but. spuhura i guess you had some moments but why did they do both your characters the disservice :(( and tos chapel and spock was so nice and hurting like i love her she crucified herself for the right to love a stoic alien (girl i get ittt) and snw fucking slaughtered her. literally feel sick thinking about how horribly they adapted her. evil and sick and twisted. anyways. tng i didnt love geordis weird hologirlfriend and also barclay stay your ass away from any woman on board. ds9 whaaaleeeee i dont really hate anything at the moment ^-^ i guess when i swing back around to it i may have more to say…. 🧐

Favorite moment: OHHHOHHHHOHHH. WELL. tos pretty much anything with spock he is my beautiful angel. but ill say the entirety of city on the edge of forever its so insanely good and has me vomiting up blood. oh also i love kevin riley when he goes crazy and is singing to the ship :•) tng oh god when data is on that planet with the little girl hes pen pals with. ingrained in my brain forever. but there are honestly so many moments i could name like i think they might be my favorite crew ever like i said the chemistry between each and every character is so fucking amazing. and also horny. i love you deanna and riker 🫶🏻 and ds9 frankly im obsessed with quark and the undercover girl ferengi bc hes so bisexual with her in drag well um. who said that

Rating out of 10: 10/10 fucking all around forever theyre my three beautiful weed smoking girlfriends. We Dont Have To Talk About The Movies.

#alsoooo teehee in good omens when she calls crowley a good lad and he says neither actually #it reminded me of when sulu called uhura fair maiden and she said neither #LIKE!!! TEEHEHEE THEY SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDSSS 🤭🤭🤭🤭😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️ #asks #I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVAARRRRRRRRR

[allthingsfook]

Hi there - I'm wondering if I can get a ship please?

I am 5' 7", a little on the curvy side, long dark brown hair cut in a shag (I had it before Jake, so there). I have freckles everywhere and my eyes are green.

I love being out in nature - hiking, exploring, and just absorbing the stunning beauty of a variety of landscapes. At home, I'm typically curled on the couch though, learning about something that has caught my attention. My typical interests involve history and cultures. I'm a bookworm and usually can be found with either a book or laptop in my hands as I read constantly. I'm one of those people who can rattle off strange historical events. When I vacation, I love going to either national parks or cities for museums, parks, learning. I'm a plant mama and do garden when the time strikes. I love music. I can listen to anything from classical and opera to death core, and everything in between - with just a few exceptions. *cough, cough* pop *cough, cough*

I am a weirdo (meant lovingly) for long haired men who have confidence, but also are adventuresome. A man who is not limited by always having to look a certain way and can laugh at himself. I love to cook and bake with my partner - and cook huge for family and friends. Holidays would wipe the kitchen out for weeks!

I'm typically the quiet one in the group of friends, though my laugh can be mighty. I'm a bit shy, but can be counted on and have been know to be too loyal. I love quickly and deeply. I try to find joy in the little stuff always. I'm a family centered person, although most of my family right now happen to be found in friends as I live quite a distance from my family.

Thank you ahead of time! 😘

Howdy! You most definitely can get a ship!!! I’m sorry for not getting back to you promptly, but I hope that this ship will make it up to you and find you well!!!

Without further ado, I ship you with….

Sammy!

This was tough deciding between Jake or Sam, but my gut said Sam for various reasons. Let’s dive in!

First off, Sammy does not have a type! I think he’s in love with women as a whole and those who are more than what meets the eye grip him. I think Sam would swoon over your curves and emerald hue eyes.

One of the many things you and Sammy could enjoy together is basking in Mother Nature!!! He would always be game for getting out of the city to hike the hills and explore the country side. I can imagine Sam being extremely in touch and loving on those trips. Mostly because he is escaping from all the distractions of his career. He can bask in life’s beauty as well as yours! Sammy is definitely one to tell you that too! I can see the both of you spending the afternoon hiking in the hills with Rosie leading the way. You’d come to a break in the trees, leading out to a rock overlook. Extremely breathtaking. The both of you would stand in silence for a moment, until Sam breaks the silence and comments on how the view doesn’t compare to you. He’d then embrace you until Rosie barks with jealousy.

You’ll meet your match when it comes to diving into history and culture. I think we often forget how smart and inquisitive Sam is. He puts himself off as a goofball, which he is, but he’s much deeper than that. You’d be shocked by the knowledge he’d contribute to the conversation and fun facts he’d randomly blurt out of no where. Sammy is much like a sponge, always looking for an opportunity to learn and expand his mind. Sometimes it’s great and sometimes not 😂

The garden and house plants the both of you would care for would be both of your prides. Between the plants and Rosie, it’s like having kids!!!! It would make your morning to wake up to him hunched over dainty plants; pruning and carefully packing soil. He’d be so enveloped that he wouldn’t notice you standing in the doorway until you say good morning in a groggy voice. He’d startle and greet you with a warm hug and invite you to try some homegrown produce.

One statement that solidified the Sammy ship was your vast music taste with the exception for pop 😂 such a Sammy move. ALTHOUGH I think that’s a facade for him. I truly do think Sam loves select songs from every genre, it’s just a matter of finding one that resonates. Shockingly Sam might be the one that turns you on to a great pop song….. who knows!!!

And the mold you have created for your dream man, how well does Sam fit into that?

Long hair ✅

Confident and Adventurous ✅

A man that doesn’t take himself too seriously ✅

Someone who enjoys to cook/bake ✅

If you weren’t sold already, are you now? I mean no matter the style or length, Sam’s hair has always been beautiful, but I must say his current facial hair to hair length ratio is hitting different 🤌 Sam has such a secure outlook on himself. Not that he’s cocky… far from it, but he is so authentically himself and not ashamed of it. Building on that he’s always living! Sam is certainly a person who takes advantage of his time on earth and wants to leave nothing unwritten. How excited life would be with him 💕

As outgoing and theatrical Sam is, he certainly needs a little balance. No doubt you could be the source of that. Don’t get me wrong, I think you guys would compliment each other well. I think Sam sometimes might need a reminder to come home and take care of himself, and you may need a reminder to go on that impromptu trip you’ve always wanted to take.

Another key point that made me decide on Sam was the fact that you said you often love quickly and deeply. That screams Sam. He’s so sure of people and willing to find them a special part of his life. His love seems like a whirlwind experience. Though it might be chaos at times, it’s the most beautiful and pleasurable relationship you’d share.

I so hope you enjoyed the ship! As usual, pleaseee let me know what you thought and if it correlates to your lane (if you have one). I will also include a collage and song ship that reminds me of Sam!!!

#greta van fleet #gvf #gvfships #gvf moodboard #songships #greta van fluff #gvf imagine #joshkiszka #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #josh gvf #jake gvf #samgvf #danny gvf #samkiszkaship

[mayasdeluca]

Thank you for linking to that fantastic Carina video, I’m sort of new to the show and I get all the news and links from you and I always appreciate everything you bring to the fandom.

I absolutely love Cam’s work from other ships/characters’ vids and I never thought about checking if she ever did some for Marina/Carina and she did and they are all amazing ❤️

I have to say reading the comments for the Carina vid showed everything I can’t stand about this fandom. The Maya stans who hates Carina because we know she only there to be loving and supportive of Maya 100% of the time, the second she has her own feelings and might be ~~mean~~ to poor defenseless Maya she’s a monster. They really watched a 8 minutes video about her to say how much she sucks! That’s commitment!

I know “shippers” like this from other fandoms (tbf it’s not a new thing) and I always think they are a bunch of unpleasant weirdos. The ones who loathe one character of a ship and keep shitting on them all the time because they relate to the other character to an embarrassing degree but wow Maya does get a lot of them.

That's so nice, thank you! ❤️

I've been following Cam since the Wynonna Earp days and loved her Wayhaught edits so I was very excited when she started watching/editing Marina. She does such great work!

I saw the one long comment in particular from a Maya fan that was destroying Carina and blaming her for everything that Maya was going through and I just don't have the patience for those kind of people, they're idiots. If people can't understand that Carina didn't abandon Maya when she left her at the hospital at this point then they'll never get it or understand Carina's character and they clearly don't want to. They just want to blame her for everything. Like calling her controlling and arrogant? Where?? And I'll never understand either how people will do that to a character when they apparently like the ship...like how do you not like both characters then? Makes no sense. They must not truly like Marina and only care about Maya because why would they want Maya to be with someone so awful in their eyes 🙄

#asks #anon #its not carina's fault the writers have maya mess up more than carina in their relationship #it doesn't make carina a terrible person -_-