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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 days

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AITA for "forcing" my best friend to break up with his boyfriend?

🧸

I (22 cis m) and my best friend 'A' (21 ftm) have been friends since we were 10 years old and I love him more than anything. He’s genuinely the sweetest, most thoughtful, and funniest person I’ve ever met. He means everything to me and we’ve been there for each other through the hardest times of our lives so far and I plan on staying until the end.

It’s always been us two. Btw, everyone mentioned here uses he/him pronouns exclusively.

A has been with his boyfriend (21 cis m) for about 2 years now, and from what he told me, things were going great. Even if I’m not too fond of his boyfriend. A few days ago, we got pretty drunk at a friend’s housewarming party. A and I live together, and as soon as we got home, he suddenly started rambling about how he wishes his boyfriend cared about him the same way I do.

Legit felt like I was in some dumb romance movie for a moment there. I felt a little uneasy and asked him to elaborate. In short, his boyfriend essentially treats him like a doll instead of a person with real emotions. He feels as though his boyfriend just uses him to get his daily fix of physical affection and sex, that’s it. The only positive thing his boyfriend can say about A is that he’s cute, which boggles my mind. It’s true but there’s so much more to him as a human being.

A is an incredibly talented artist, super kind, super emotionally intelligent, and has a plethora of interests he loves to infodump about. I’m trying my hardest not to make this entire post about how amazing he is. He’s helped multiple friends clean their depression apartments and took them out to get fresh groceries etc. because it’s basic decency to him. He has such a big heart and holds so much love in it for everyone in his life. Being around him is just so easy and makes life worth living.

He’s just an incredible person all around and every single person that has him in their life recognizes that, except his boyfriend. They’ve had issues in the past because they’re not sexually compatible, which led to some miscommunication and made A feel like he was coerced into things he didn’t want to do. He just did them to make his boyfriend happy. He does a lot of things for his boyfriend, actually. He’s constantly buying little gifts, remembering what he likes, and plans cute dates for them to go on. His boyfriend does none of these things.

I want to mention that A has bpd and avpd. He has an intense fear of rejection and will do everything in his power to appease others so they won’t leave him. I always take the time to reassure him that I love him for who he is and not what he can give me. Basically just making sure he feels loved. Keep in mind, his boyfriend is aware of this but he just gets annoyed when A seeks reassurance from him. His behavior has made my blood boil several times in the past already, but I always kept it to myself for A’s sake. If I was vocal about disliking his boyfriend, it probably would’ve caused A a lot of distress and emotional turmoil.

Still, I don’t think this relationship is healthy for A and I know him well enough to know he won’t break it off on his own. It’s just his combo of personality disorders that makes it impossible for him. I told him about my concerns and he agreed, but said he feels bad for his boyfriend since he apparently doesn’t have any friends outside of A. From my POV, it just looks like his boyfriend knows A is out of his league and is grasping at straws to make A stay with him out of pity.

This is where I might be the asshole. I got a little frustrated and raised my voice, which I severely regret. I don’t want to blame it on the alcohol but it definitely had a hand in it. I finally told him about all these grievances I have about his boyfriend, how much I dislike him and how A deserves so much better, etc.. At one point, I essentially gave him an ultimatum. It’s me or his boyfriend. I didn’t really mean it, it was just a heat of the moment thing I spat out. I would never leave him like that.

A started crying and begged me to calm down, at which point I realized how shitty I was being and immediately began apologizing. We hugged, I comforted him, and we spent the rest of the night cuddling and talking about how he could approach the breakup.

Now that I’ve sobered up I feel like absolute shit. I know it’s not my place to tell A what to do with his romantic relationships, even if I’m his best friend. Plus, I want to be 100% honest here and say I might have romantic feelings for A. I think I have for a long time, but I always wrote it off as intense platonic love. So I may be biased in this whole conversation about his boyfriend.

I didn’t say these things because of that. I genuinely think his boyfriend is a huge dick and full of shit, no matter how sweet and loving he pretends to be. It’s all in the way he treats A. He’s one of those guys that paint their nails (nothing wrong with that but you know the kind of guy I’m talking about), pretend to be feminists, and steal their romantic partner’s personality to seem cooler. He even asked A to stop taking testosterone because he didn’t like how hairy A was getting or some shit like that.

He’s pansexual but has only ever dated girls and started dating A before A began medically transitioning. There’s obviously nothing wrong with that and changes nothing about the fact that he’s pansexual, he just pisses me off when he criticizes A for being 'too masculine'. You can have a preference for feminine people but don’t make that shit your partner’s problem when they just want to pass.

I feel like A’s boyfriend just thought A would always stay the smooth, baby-faced twink he was before going on testosterone and now makes him feel guilty for looking like a grown man. Some people don’t know how to appreciate hairy tummies.

Sorry for making this so long but I just want to be as honest and informative as possible to get proper opinions on the issue. A is now dead set on breaking things off because he now knows that I actively despise his boyfriend and he always puts my opinion above everyone else’s.

Was I in the wrong for doing this or am I just protecting my best friend? I’m glad he intends on ending things but I feel a bit like a conniving snake considering everything. It feels like I’m taking advantage of his mental state even if I’m not doing it consciously.

#aita #am i the asshole

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thetarttfuldickhead · 2 days

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There was this post a little while back suggesting that Beard gets kicked out by Jane and moves in with Higgins and that’s very narratively satisfying and right, given that Leslie’s the one person daring to tell Beard that his relationship with Jane isn’t, you know, great. However, I’m a Roy & Jamie girl at heart, so I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Beard instead moved in with his fellow fan of few words, ie one Roy Kent.

Say, for instance, that Roy and Jamie are fucking/dating/what have you and Jamie gets it into his pretty, silly head that they can somehow hide the fact from Beard. Roy tells him stop being an idiot, of course he’s going to know if he’s staying here, only way to keep it from him if you keep away until he finds another place to live, and fuck no, I’m not moving in with you, how the fuck would I explain that, and anyway your fucking headboard would give me a migraine.

Well, Jamie says mulishly, I’m not staying away.

Fine, Roy says, secretly a little relieved. So he’ll know. Big fucking deal.

And in this version of events Roy really is cool with it, because it has to come out sooner or later and he’s not ashamed and it’s not like Beard’s gonna say anything (Roy may or may not be mistaken in this assumption), and anyway, he’s Roy Kent, he does whatever the hell he wants, okay. Only Jamie doesn’t accept that, because he has this strong and somewhat misguided notion that he needs to defend Roy’s honour by not letting anyone suspect he’s fucking his player. So Jamie starts making up increasingly absurd excuses as to why he should show up at Roy’s place like having some work done at my house and Roy was concerned I’d be breathing in poisonous fumes, yeah, so he said I had to come over here and um, Coach, I think I strained my calf today, could you maybe take a look here in the bedroom ‘cause my back hurts too and I need to lay down and yeah, Beard’s eyebrows are not as psychotic as Roy’s but they certainly climb and climb and climb. Later in the evening he just glances at Roy, so, you and Jamie, huh? And Roy shrugs, unconcerned, yeah, and pours himself another cup of tea. He doesn’t tell Jamie that they’ve been made, though; it’s still kind of fun watching the muppet make a fool of himself. Besides, the idea of their encounters being particularly illicit seems to really get Jamie going, so.

Alternatively, Jamie agrees to stay away, and then proceeds to do everything in his power to set Beard up with someone else so that Beard can be happy and move in with his new friend and Jamie can go back to shagging his grumpy old boyfriend all over the house. The attempts are predictably absurd, but also oddly sweet (‘cause Jamie wants the relationship to last, right, so that Beard doesn’t come knocking on Roy’s door again anytime soon, so obviously he needs to find someone properly nice, but it’s hard for him to figure what nice means to someone as odd as Beard).

(These two scenarios work if Keeley’s part of the mix, too, btw. She can either join in Jamie’s antics because she’s a weird girl at heart, or she can be the voice of reason if a voice of reason is what gets you going.)

Or say that Roy and Jamie really are just friends (for the moment, at least) and it’s Roy that gets a little nervous about Beard realizing just how close they are. Like, he’s reluctantly cool with everyone knowing that Jaime is his favourite player (though of course he’d deny it if someone dared say it to his face) or them knowing that Roy spends stupid amounts of time torturing training Jamie, but he’s not quite comfortable having people know that they also just… hang out. That Roy cooks Jamie dinner. Leaves Phoebe with him when Roy’s busy with a coaching crisis. That they watch stupid shit on the telly together, and that Roy doesn’t complain (much) when Jamie curls up to him like a cat. That stuff’s private, all right? So he stops having Jamie over, starts brushing him off, and at first Jamie’s undeterred because if he let Roy’s grumpiness get to him he’d never not be gotten to, but Roy persists and Jamie starts to wilt, hurt and confused. In the end, Beard – wise, all-seeing Beard – fixes Roy with one long stare and notes that there’s nothing wrong with having a friend, Coach. Plenty wrong with being shit to the ones you’ve got, though, and Roy doesn’t even yell fuck he just stands there, stony like, until he jerks a short nod and stalks off to make things up to Jamie.

Anyway, the idea of Beard bearing witness to Roy and/or Jamie being particularly ridiculous about each other is very funny, to me.

(I tried to hunt down that original post because even though I didn’t want to add to it and derail OP’s poignant take with my Roy & Jamie obsession, I still want to credit them for the original idea. Couldn’t find it, however, but please give me a shout if you have a link. Aha! @coachbeards is the original galaxy brain!)

#it's royjamie crack o'clock again #i just like it when one of them is being very silly/very fucked up you know?#they take turns #roy kent #jamie tartt #coach beard #royjamie #roy & jamie #my stuff

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chrollohearttags · 1 day

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Mic Check: Miami Heat | The Trailer

hello all and welcome to the reality show au (within an au) for reverb! This is a little bonus mini series that I’ve had in the works alongside the upcoming chapters of the story. These are some of the excerpts from dialogue of the show. I’m really excited for this one, even though it’s been ages since I’ve worked on it! I hope y’all enjoy! as always, reblogs and comments are HEAVILY APPRECIATED! it’s very hard to keep motivation for long winded series and fics when we don’t feel like anyone is paying attention.

side note: blue = narration

pink = dialogue from the ‘show’

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══ ══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°

When you think of Miami…you think palm trees, South Beach..the glitz..fame..

“This house is literally perfect. It’s my dream home..” “it better be for $5 mil..”

“AMG is hosting the very first music festival of its kind. No other record label has done anything like this. Last year, the talent agency reportedly earned $7.2 billion—“

“You grew up sailing on a yacht. That’s some next level shit, dude!” “Yeah, it was definitely crazy.”

“You know you’ve made it when you can ride back through your old hood in a McLaren.” “And that bitch paid for too.”

“People asking for pictures and autographs when I go out is ‘sum I don’t think I can ever get used to. It’s all still new to me.”

“You’re the it girl now, get used to it.”

..and the glamor. The home to some of the biggest names in the music industry and they’re showing everyone what they’re all about..

“This is our year..believe that.”

“We’re doing our first international tour, dawg. This shit crazy.”

“This next album has to be my best..I owe that to everybody who’s supported me for the past ten years.”

“I’m gonna prove to them why I deserve to be here. This is just as much my passion as everybody else’s.”

“We’re more than just stripping or dancing, this is our art and we wanna show the world what Pole Assassins is all about.”

“You ever thought about making a solo album while Atelier Kiss is on hiatus?” “I don’t even know what that would sound like.”

“Dead Boys for Life. We doing this shit till we in the dirt.”

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══ ══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°

..Welcome to the Magic City, like you’ve never seen it before! Watch your favorite stars as they navigate careers..

“AHHHH! IT’S SO PRETTY!..” “That's all you, baby. You earned it.”

“EJ the Don is the motherfucking blueprint. Everybody in this game has tried to imitate your style.” “There’s only one though.”

“Thank y’all so much for getting me to one million! I’m so happy right now—“

“This could be a huge opportunity for you..I think you should go for it. You could become the next big name in the modeling world if you play your cards right.”

“They want me to model for Playboy—“

“I’ve never done anything like this before..”

“I get one song to show them why I belong here. I can’t fuck this up.”

“You’re really nervous, aren’t you?” “Yeah..” “..don’t be, you earned this for a reason.”

“Can I throw up now? Because I feel like I want to..”

..love

“I just really love spending time with you. I always have so much fun when you’re around.”

“When are you gonna let me make you mine?” “When you stop playing games and ask me to.”

“That man really got you smiling like this! It’s so cute.” “Maybe I’m feeling him a lil’ bit.”

“I get to spend the rest of my life with you and that’s all that matters.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with me..” “I can think of a couple things actually..”

“I swear, he’s everything I could ever want. I’ve never felt like this, I don’t know what to do.”

“Can I kiss you right now?” “You didn’t even have to ask.”

“After 20 years of marriage, how do you keep the spark in your relationship?” “I don’t think I can answer that on the radio.”

“I think you’re falling in love.” “What if I said I already am?..”

“All eyes are on us now. Everybody knows we’re dating.” “So let’s give them something to see, baby.”

..and..their biggest challenges! They’ll be tested beyond their limits and some..may even break.

“You abandoned me! I didn’t even know who you was..now you want to be a fucking mom?!”

“You were never a fucking dad to me. I barely even saw you and you wanna tell me what I’ve done wrong with my life?!”

“It’s been seven years since she passed away. I can’t even bring myself to go because it’ll all come back to me.”

“They tryna give me life behind this shit, dawg.” “That’s the thing about making it out. Everybody else gets left behind. The only way you can ever visit them is behind glass or at their grave.”

“I never forgave him for what happened and I don’t think I ever will. It’s some things you don’t talk about as a man.”

“Nah, I’m done playing these fucking games with you! Leave me alone.”

“My dad is sick and he wants me to take over his company. I don’t know if I can handle that responsibility.”

“It’s okay to be angry or cry, that’s what healing is all about. You’re not perfect.”

“Are you sure you wanna quit making music?” “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“I’m just tired of feeling like I'm not being taken seriously. I’m just forever going to be the guy in second place.”

“Could we see another Mika ASH album in the future?…” “I don’t know if Mikasa Ackerman can survive that. It might kill me..”

“I’ve been fighting this addiction alone and I just can’t do it anymore.”

“I can’t afford no shit like this to happen right now. I don’t wanna go through with it..”

confronting their biggest fears..and each other.

“I always felt like you had a problem with me.”

“You just fake as hell and I can’t fake like I’m with all that.”

“You’ve always been a pussy. I don’t expect much.”

“I ain’t switch up on nobody. I grew up and that’s some shit you don’t know nothing about.”

“All you’ve ever gave a fuck about is music, nothing or no one else..” “Music is the only thing that’s never let me down. More than I can ever say for your sorry ass.”

“You let that bitch disrespect me in your face and said nothing to check her. I could never be with a man like you.”

“You gon’ tell her you’ve been fucking her man or do I have to?”

“Everybody keeps saying you’re bad for me.” “Maybe you should listen to them.”

“Bitch, I’m from that other side. I don’t do no back and forth!

“Either we all in this or Pole Assassins is done. I’m not bringing any deadweight with me to the top.”

“It just feels like I’m working so hard for nothing. Like this shit never gets easier.”

“You’ve always had a nasty spirit on you and I see why you have no friends.”

“Do you really even want to marry me? Or do you feel like you have to because you couldn’t have who you really wanted?”

“I can’t do this..oh my godddd!”

“I wonder why I’m still here sometimes. I just feel like I don’t want to see another year.”

“He’s lost his fucking mind, truly..”

“It’s them..or me. Make your choice.”

“Everybody in this room can kiss my ass. Fuck every last one of y’all and I mean that from my soul.”

Welcome to Miami!

“This is going to be crazy.”

New episodes every week!

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stiles-o-dylan24 · 22 hours

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It's Always Been You Bonus Scene 1 - Wolfsbane Hallucination

Author: @stiles-o-dylan24 Pairing: Stiles x Addy McCall Word Count: 3.1k Requested: Can you maybe write something about Addy telling Stiles what she saw during the hallucinations in season 2 at Lydia's party and having a Staddy fluffy moment? I don't remember but I think after that moment it never brought up again and kinda always wanted to see how Stiles would react, if it's okay for you of course! And obv if you want to write it take your time, don't rush it! 💕 A/N: Here you go sweets, it's been forever and a day but hopefully you're still around and you enjoy this! I'm putting this as taking place at the end of season 4 so you have an idea of the timeline of everything! Any other deleted/bonus scenes you guys want please don't hesitate to send them in bc I'm fully on my IABY bullshit while I edit the whole series to be ready for binding. Love you all!🩵

Another day another Lydia birthday party is in full swing– which is already a better turnout than the impromptu lake house party a couple of months ago.

That night we found the deadpool list and now we’re back from Mexico and Lydia promised a gathering to make us celebrate the fact that we’re all alive.

Stiles and I are in the backyard and he’s leaning back against one of the beams attached to the overhead pergola while I lean my back against his chest. He’s got his arms wrapped around my shoulders and my hands are gently gripping onto his forearms.

The party is more so taking place inside since it was raining earlier– which is how Stiles got me to come outside with him. I’ve got the smell of rain, the pergola fairy lights and best of all my Stiles… so I’m pretty happy right now.

Stiles is silent though and I could think he was just enjoying the quiet with me while the thumping bass of the party sounds in the house behind us, if it weren’t for the noise he just made. The noise is one he makes when he’s thinking about something that’s bothering him and once that noise is followed by him kissing my temple and squeezing his arms around me a little more… I know it’s something about me.

I move my thumbs against his forearms a little, leaning my head back against his shoulder as I ask him “What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing” Stiles replies too quickly and I throw him a look “Come on, at least lie better than that”

“I can’t lie to you” Stiles chuckles softly and I nod once, turning in his arms to face him while I smile brightly at him “I know.” I set my hands on his chest and slowly slide them up to wrap my arms behind his neck, asking him “So then tell me what’s on your mind”

Stiles makes a noise and takes a deep breath, slowly releasing it as he sets his hands on my hips and pulls me a little closer “Do yo– do you remember Lydia’s birthday party?”

“This one?” I laugh softly and he throws me a look “Obviously you remember this one or we have bigger problems right now concerning your memory, cutie.”

I snort and smile at him “Alright so not this one– which leaves last year because we’ve only been to two of her parties”

“Right,” he clears his throat, nodding his head ever so slightly and connecting his eyes with mine “So last year when we were all kinda…” he trails off and I nod once, my stomach dropping as I stand up a little more “Oh… umm yeah, the night of the wolfsbane” I smile softly at him, instantly hit with what I saw and really hoping he doesn't ask me about it.

“The hallucinations, yeah” Stiles clarifies and I nod slowly, trying to smile like it’s no big deal while also imploring “What’s making you think about that night?”

Stiles doesn’t answer right away, just moves his thumbs against my sides as he moves his eyes between mine. He licks his lips quickly and tilts his head a little to the side “Well I was just thinking back… and I– well you never said what you saw that night… when I asked you what you hallucinated, you told me it didn’t matter, remember?”

“Because it didn’t” I say gently, smiling to soften the blow of my deflection, however, he just narrows his eyes in thought at me “Right but it does matter. What we all saw was something that we were deep down afraid of actually happening or being true so I’m just curious I guess… why do you say it doesn’t matter?”

“Sty, come on” I breathe out, looking around the backyard for an escape plan. I feel him keep his hold on me so I don’t step away from him as he asks me in a soft whisper “Was it your dad? I mean from how he was when we were kids?”

I look back at him, breathing in deeply and slowly releasing it as I barely shake my head and answer him softly, “No, it wasn’t about him.”

“Ok then what was it?” he questions gently, looking at me with so much love in his eyes. I can tell how much this means to him but I can’t shake the nerves and embarrassment of actually telling him what happened in my mind. I mean he saw his dad blaming him for his mom’s death and Scott saw Jacksanima hooking up with Allison on the stairs and I what? Had a phenomenal kiss and then ultimate whiplash as he said it would never be right? No way I can share that with the person I’m now dating.

“Why are you remembering that night in particular right now?” I ask and he shrugs, looking around the backyard “We were standing basically right here with Scott that night. You looked…” he trails off, shaking his head and breathing out a soft huff before he connects his eyes with mine “Fuck, Adds, you looked gorgeous in that maroon lace dress and your black leather jacket.”

“You remember what I was wearing?” I say softly, my heart doing that little flutter thing that only Stiles can make happen and he makes a noise “Uh yeah I remember with vivid clarity the moment I walked into your house and I saw you. You made me stop breathing and I’m pretty sure I passed out because I think Scott hit my shoulder and said something but I couldn’t hear him and next thing I knew I was driving us to the party.”

I chuckle softly, knowing my eyes are sparkling as I look up at him and he continues “I mean you always look amazing, Adds– but something about you looking all sexy badass that night…” he trails off, breathing in deeply as his fingers dig into my sides a little more and he pulls me against him “Yeah, I almost blurted out that I was in love with you.”

“You did not” I chuckle softly and he makes a face like I could not be more wrong, “Uh yeah I did, ask Scott– the way he looked at me was the only thing that made me not because it wasn’t the right time. I also wasn’t aware he knew at the time but either way we were drinking and that wouldn’t have been the right time– right?”

“No it wouldn’t have been the right time” I agree with him, scrunching my nose up a little as I continue “Especially since you’re right we were drinking and I fully thought you were going to say Lydia’s name and I drank even more because I couldn’t handle hearing your declaration of love about her again at that moment.”

Stiles snorts and looks up to the covered lighted up pergola above us, breathing out “Of course you thought that” he shakes his head and looks at me again “So you were drinking because of me being a dumbass–”

“No, I was drinking because Lydia was being mind controlled by Peter and was sweetly forcing us all to drink spiked wolfsbane punch” I interrupt and he narrows his eyes at me “That may be why you took the first drink but I was the reason you drank more” I make a noise to argue, however, he just grips onto me a little more and doesn’t let me say another word as he rushes out “Which means you hallucinated what you did because of me which means you should tell me what you saw that night.”

“Why is this so important to you right now?” I ask, trying not to be defensive but I can’t help it when I’m just flooded with the memories of that night. “I mean,” I clear my throat and soften my voice, because even through the embarrassment taking hold on me I do know he’s just being his amazingly sweet self, “Why is it all of a sudden bothering you enough to want to know now?”

“It’s always bothered me, Adds,” he answers without missing a beat, his eyes so sincere I melt against him a little more while he continues “I’ve always wanted to know– since it happened to you.” His thumbs brush against my sides again, succeeding in lifting up my shirt so he’s touching my skin “The look on your face that night when I found you again has been burned in my brain. All I wanted to do was hug you and comfort you but you wouldn’t let me– I mean, you wouldn’t even look at me. Then fucking Matt almost drowned and we figured out he was the– you know, then the night and following days got crazy but that didn’t change the fact that I wanted to be there for you. Now I feel like I'm allowed to be there for you and comfort you even when you tell me nothing is bothering you– I’m allowed to be there for you in ways I wasn’t before and dammit woman, I want you to just let me.”

I chuckle and kiss him softly, “Okay” I murmur against his lips and he repeats “Okay? Like okay okay?”

I nod and pull back just enough to narrow my eyes playfully at him “Yes– okay as in I’ll tell you but after I do you have to drop it because half the reason I didn’t want to say anything was because I was embarrassed”

“Embarrassed?” Stiles scrunches his face up adorably and I throw him a look “Yes… now promise.”

“I promise after you tell me I will drop it” he repeats and I nod once “Thank you.”

Stiles kisses me quickly and says “Now tell me what you saw and were embarrassed about” he smiles wide “Please”

“Jesus you’re persistent” I grumble and he winks, his hands gripping onto me a little more “It’s why you love me”

I playfully glare at him, murmuring quietly “Yeah, yeah, yeah” and he gets impatient “Come on, tell me already”

“Oh for fucks sake” I throw him a look, and he smiles even wider at me. I chew on the inside of my cheek for a few seconds, taking a deep breath to try to calm my nerves before I rip off the bandaid and rush out quickly “I hallucinated that you kissed me.”

Stiles’ brows raise instantly with my words “I kissed you–” he licks his lips quickly “You hallucinated that I kissed you?” he repeats, a bright cocky smile starting to come over his features and I grimace since I have to tell him the next part “Well that’s not all so don’t get too cocky.”

“Oh my god was it a bad kiss?” he draws his brows in on his own embarrassed grimace “It was wasn’t it? Is that why you waited so long to actually kiss me?”

“Nope– it was a good” I release a shaky breath “A really good kiss actually.”

“Oh really?” he says, cocky smile back on his face and I narrow my eyes at him “Stop it”

“Sorry” he murmurs, half smiling as pulls me more against his chest “Tell me how it played out then.”

I look up at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes and I breathe out nervously, shaking my head as I look away and focus on his chest “Well I was walking through the living room and you stalked towards me through the crowd of people with these deliberate I’d burn the world down for you steps until you set your hands on my hips and backed me against the wall… then you kissed me” I breathe in deeply, not really wanting to keep going “But then you…” I trail off quietly and Stiles’ voice is softer, more gentle as he asks even more quietly “Then what happened?”

I squeeze my eyes closed and grimace “Just as quickly as you kissed me you stopped and when I opened my eyes, you were looking at me but the look on your face… it was like you–” I clear my throat, my voice barely above a whisper as I tell him “It was like you just made the biggest mistake of your life”

“Adds–” he tries but I shake my head and look at him sadly before I drop my eyes again and look at my hands on his chest “Then you said ‘You’re not her and that this isn’t right’ you dropped your hands from my sides and you stepped back throwing in the next gut punch of ‘This will never be right’ before you walked into the crowd of people in front of us. I went to follow you but then it was like I was thrown back into this reality and the music was suddenly blaring again and everyone was dancing not even paying attention to me.”

It’s silent after I finish telling him what happened and I want to disappear with explaining everything that I still unfortunately remember. Stiles takes a few more silent seconds before he murmurs “Hey” and I make a little noise to acknowledge him and he chuckles softly “Come on baby, show me your blues”

The corners of my mouth lift a little as I silently curse him for somehow always getting me to listen to him and I slowly look up at him. When my eyes connect with his I don’t see anything but reassurance and love looking right back at me “You do realize that you never have to worry about what was said being true right? You have and will always be the only her in my mind– there will never be anyone else”

I smile softly with his words, nodding a little and he squeezes me to him a little more “You could have told me what happened that night”

Shaking my head I scoff lightheartedly “Sty, come on there’s absolutely no way I could have told you”

“Yes you could have!” He insists, chuckling a little “Then I could have told you that you were crazy–”

I snort and level him with a look “Yes brilliant idea to tell the girl who just hallucinated her first kiss with the guy she’s in love with that she’s crazy.”

“Okay we all were hallucinating that night” he tries to reassure me and I narrow my eyes thoughtfully at him “Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better”

Stiles laughs softly, clearing his face of any humor as he gets a little more serious “Adds, if you told me that night what happened I would have told you right then that I was in love with you and only you”

I make a noise and ramble lightly “Well I wouldn’t have ever explained what happened that night because I thought you were in love with Lydia, so that just screams awkward trying to have you comfort me and my feelings when you love someone else but don’t want to hurt me and those feelings that just got dumped on you.”

He just blinks a few times and groans frustratedly, resting his forehead against mine “I can’t believe I was so stupid as to ever say something in your vicinity that would ever make you think you weren’t the only girl for me.”

I chuckle and move my nose along his “Yes, well… even Sherlock has his off days” I say gently and he connects his eyes with mine, breathing out a soft little chuckle.

He moves his eyes between mine before he lifts his head off mine and smiles like he just got a great idea “C’mere” he mumbles, reaching up and grabbing one of my hands in his before he starts walking me across the patio “Where are we going?” I ask, quickly moving my feet to keep up with him.

“Just follow me, babe” he says over his shoulder, keeping his hand tightly around mine as we walk into the living room. I flinch back a little from the loud music and talking noise, staying right behind him as he guides us through the crowd.

He walks past everyone that’s standing around talking and dancing on and near the staircase before he leads us over to Lydia’s dad’s old office. Figuring Lydia would have locked these doors I draw my brows together curiously as he opens one of the french doors and leads us inside.

I walk further into the office towards the bookcase on the far wall and I turn around to look at him as he closes and locks the door. I raise a brow and look from the lock and up to connect my gaze with his “What exactly are we doing in here?”

Stiles just keeps his gaze locked on mine as he murmurs simply “This” and recreates the I’d burn the world down for you steps I told him about and quickly stalks towards me. I make a little noise when he sets his hands on my hips and presses me back against the bookshelf, smiling in his adorably sexy way before he kisses me.

Yeah I may have thought the hallucination was a good kiss but I didn’t know any better because kissing the real thing is unlike anything I could have imagined. I set my hands on his sides, feeling him lift one hand to cradle the side of my face in his palm as he pulls me impossibly closer and moves his lips against mine.

I can’t even help the whimper that I make as I kiss him back, my hands gripping his shirt at his sides. Stiles responds with his own soft moan at my response and uses his hand to gently tilt my head and deepen the kiss.

He pulls back just enough to rest his forehead on mine, gazing into my eyes as he moves his thumb against my cheek “Nothing has or will ever feel as right as this does, Adds. You are it for me and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how true that is so you will never question it, okay?”

“Yup” I sigh dreamily, wrapping my arms around his middle and licking my lips quickly as I smile softly up at him “I understand you loud and clear.”

He chuckles, his eyes dropping to my lips as he licks his own and murmurs “Good” before he gives me another earth shattering kiss.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Always love to hear your lovely people’s thoughts & if you’re not comfortable with that a like/reblog gives me just as much life! Please let know what you thought I'm so sorry to any and everyone who would not wished to be tagged anymore. Wasn't really sure how to tag this so just figured the last like I had for IABY and the IABY movie coming up would be ok. But please let me know if you would prefer to not be tagged in any IABY stuff in the future!

IABY Taglist: @lettersofwrittencollective • @brien-odylan @softpeteparker • @biles-bilinski-24 • @thatsuperherosidekick • @tothestarsandreams • @puppershnupps • @stilessarcasmqueen • @fandom-princess-forevermore • @glittercoveredsouls • @hueycat2004 • @fortunatelydelicateearthquake • @thehall0wqueeen • @kateeee0817 • @anoddsightcomeoutatnight • @marauderskeeper • @shantayok • @peachyinparis • @emichelle • @humbledarkness • @24-stilinski • @all-will-be-well-love • @screamxqueenx94 • @genius2050 • @soccersarah07 • @vikshee • @slothcat67 • @stilinski-fucking-obrien • @lemmereaditall • @redsalv20 • @the-winchester-girl02 • @missdicaprio • @awkwarddoctor • @cutiepiemimi13 • @thejourneyneverendsx • @xceafh • @michellebarista • @wandascarlett • @musicxlover97 • @fan-girl-97 • @theholydestiny • @nalu-ismyjam • @piccasoe • @bilesxbilinskixlahey • @nikki1dxx • @screaminggoatsposts • @kiwihoee • @teen--marvel @hogwartsstar • @sheerfreesia007 • @kmc1989 •

Do not copy and paste my writing anywhere without my consent. This work is property of @stiles-o-dylan24. These characters, with the exception of Addy McCall(homegirl was all me), aren’t mine but this fanfiction is. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher.

Posted 14 May 2024

#it's always been you #Stiles stilinski #teen wolf #stiles stilinski x oc #stiles stilinski x addy mccall #staddy #IABY #IABY bonus scene

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st4rymoon · 3 days

Text

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ୨୧ ༉‧₊˚.

✶ 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘺 𝘔𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘹 𝘍𝘦𝘮 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

・preview: After you and Joel make it to Jacksonville, he gives you strict orders that Tommy’s off limits. But since he never told Tommy you were off limits, no rules would be broken if he made the first move.

- warnings: 18+ , flirting, p in v, jealous Tommy, unprotected sex, mid-outbreak, creampie!, make out sesh, oral (m receiving), Joel catches them in the act 🫣, language, pet names, Joel and readers relationship is platonic!!

When you and Joel made it to Jacksonville the both of you finally took a breath of fresh air. After dozens of fungus infested cities and arguments later you found the safe haven anyone would love in such dangerous times.

Joel and you were nothing but companions, you’d both met out of the walls of the Fedra and decided having someone to travel with was far better than being alone. He was a hard one to convince you were worth trusting but after the dozens of escapes from death he’s had because of you, Joel came to trust you.

He’d go on and on about his little brother. Tommy and I had our ups and downs but he’s still my brother is what Joel would always tell you.

So the day you and Joel walked into Jacksonville, you were happy to see Joel finally found his little brother. “Tommy!” That was the happiest you’ve ever heard Joel.

You watched from behind as you noticed the handsome brown haired man turn, his eyes lit up as he noticed Joel. Both of them ran into each other’s arms, both of them seeming to relax at the realization they are safe.

You were surprised when Joel called you over and introduced you two “nice to meet you” you smiled at Tommy, your eyes taking in every feature on his face. He was gorgeous.

“Thank you for gettin’ my brother here safely although I doubt he was easy to deal with” Tommy joked as he patted Joel on the back “you get used to it” you shrugged as Tommy’s eyes shifted toward his brother.

How the hell did Joel manage to find such a pretty little thing?

“You definitely do”

Tommy didn’t know if he should ask Joel about the two of you, he knows Joel doesn’t cozy up with just anyone. He watched as you and Joel would have friendly conversations, he’d try to analyze his brother. He didn’t know you well but he sure did know Joel.

Joel saw you as nothing but a great friend he’s made along the way but his lack of affection towards everyone made it difficult for Tommy to truly understand his intentions.

“Ya’ know where Joel is?” You heard from behind as you sat at the bar. You perked up at the sound of Tommy’s voice “why would I know I’m not his momma” you shrugged as you sipped on your beer.

Tommy rolled his eyes “you sure ain’t’ and I don’t appreciate attitude” he hissed. You gave an unapologetic hum as Tommy glared at you as he leaned onto the bar counter “hey I’m talkin’ to you” his fingers snap infront of your face.

“I can see why you both are brothers” you chuckle as you don’t react to the action “If I take a wild guess he’s probably with that pretty lady who takes care of the horses, they’ve been getting cozayyy” you tease with a wiggle.

Tommy’s eyebrows raise at the statement “does that bother you?”

You let out a loud laugh “god no that man needs to get laid! I hope it’s more than just some hook up though I think it’ll be good for him expecially after everything he’s been through.” You admit.

He smiled at that response, you both aren’t together. Good. “And what about you?” Tommy quietly spoke “what about me?” You sighed.

“I was expecting you and my brother to be together and now that I know you aren’t, why aren’t you?” Tommy questioned.

You tried not to laugh at the barbaric question, straight forward he definitely is. “Well firstly Joel is a good looking guy no offense to him but not exactly my type. I also tend like ‘em with more agile, more stamina, I’d tire out that old man” you mock.

Tommy’s eyebrows raised at the comment, were you talking sex? “Stamina?” He chuckled “mhm, I also tend to like ‘em with dark hair, beards, a bit of freckles” you tease.

The signs you are giving were clear as day and Tommy was embarrassed by the way his cheeks began to blush. You chuckled at the way his face turned a soft shade of pink but he wouldn’t let that get to him.

You gasped as Tommy’s leg pushed between yours, his thigh shifting your body so the stool could face him. His boot cuffed the chair and pulled it forward causing you to grip onto your seat for balance. Now you were the flustered one “I don’t think Joel would enjoy me this close to you, he always told me you were off limits” you pouted in hopes to save yourself.

“He didn’t tell me nothin’ about keepin’ away so if I instigated this his little rules aren’t broken yeah?” Tommy cooed.

You know Joel is going to kill you. He trust you with his secrets and his past and here you were perched on the lap of his brother.

The trip from the bar to Tommy’s place was a blur, the residents of Jacksonville give you and Tommy the side eye as he had an arm around you and his other on his belt.

As soon as you both stumbled through his door it was like you’d both been touch starved for centuries. Tommy was sitting on his couch, your legs straddled on his as you swayed your hips softly onto his jeans.

His hands were gripping your face and neck, lips ravaging yours as you both took deep breaths between each kiss. The kisses were sloppy and hungry, saliva stringing from your mouths as your tongues messily swirled.

“You sure are a good fuckin’ kisser” he panted as you pulled from his lips and began to press kisses down his neck and onto his rough skin. He let out a frustrated moan as you began to bite softly his skin, his hands planted on your ass to keep you swaying on his lap.

You could feel how hard he was through his jeans and it was making you salivate. You don’t know why you feel so hot, it’s like you were burning up in his arms. “You not talkin’ sweetheart?” He chuckled as he began to slowly undress you.

You hummed as you came up from his neck, his calloused hands tugged your shirt up and planted on your bare skin “you just feel so good” you gasped. “I’m not even doin’ nothin’ to you love” he teased as he kissed up your ribs and between your breasts. Your shirt was somewhere on the ground as he began to sucked onto your plump tits.

“Tommy please” you pleaded as he uncupped your breast and began to roll his soft tongue over your sensitive nipples “mmhm” is all you got out of him as he fiddled with the clasps of your bra.

You managed to unbutton his flannel by the time he had you on your back, his hands now running down your tummy and stopping at your jeans.

The way you stared up at Tommy was making his jeans uncomfortably tight so he unbuttoned his jeans, you let out a squeal of excitement as you began to think he was going to fuck your mouth.

Tommy froze when you saw you open your mouth, nasty little thing you were “you wanna suck me off really? God you really are somethin’” he tutted.

He was in heaven. Maybe he’s in a dream? He had to be. You were between his legs, mouth wrapped around his cock and a fist full of your hair in hand as your pretty doe eyes watched him.

You hummed and moaned onto his cock as his thick length stretched your mouth, he could tell you were trying not gag as he dragged you lower on his cock “fuckkk darlin’ yeah just like that, jussst like tha- ah” he seethed as your tongue traced every curve.

A pathetic whine escaped Tommy’s lips as you pulled back, his eyes widening with question as you pulled yourself up “was just prepping you up” you cooed as you kicked your jeans off.

Tommy let out a growl as he yanked you forward “teasin’ me with some head huh?” He chuckled as he straddled you into his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist and placed you onto the carpet “need to see you without all the pillows and cushion covering your face” he purred with his eyes trialing over your form.

“Now would you look at that” Tommy teased as he cuffed your panties with his finger “made a mess” he sighed. Tommy slowly dragged your ruined panties down your thighs with a lick of his lips, the sight of you naked under him was sinful.

“I have a few birth control pills left from a pharmacy we raided, don’t need a condom” you whined as you noticed Tommy look for his wallet. “You sure?” It almost came out in a moan as he thought about it “yes yes I’m sure” you nodded as he began to settle between your legs.

“Such a sight to see” he purred as he noticed the sticky strings of cum drip out of your hole, his fingers stretching and scissoring your folds as he played with your cunt.

You let out the prettiest moans as Tommy’s calloused fingers rubbed small circles on your swollen bud, his eyes growing dark as he watched you clench around nothing as he picked his pace up.

“If you wanna stop or it hurts just let keep know yeah?” He nodded as he stroked himself slowly, cock in hand as he began to rub himself between your folds. The both of you let out a pornographic moan as he teased you with his cock “please Tommy stop teasing!” You cried.

“Whatever you want” he purred as he pushed into you. The stretch of was euphoric as he held onto your hips for dear life as he rocked his hips onto yours. His eyes scrunched shut as he settled deep inside you, his thrusts staring off slow as he planted himself back into reality.

“God you feel so fu- so goood” he groaned as he pounded you onto the carpet. Your hands flew to his wrists as his thighs lifted you up slightly, the angle he was fucking you at was making you go dumb.

His angry tip nudged at your gummy cervix, continuously hitting your g-spot as he thrusted sloppily. Tommy watched hypnotized as you pawed and whined with each of his thrusts. “Feel that? Right here darlin’ feel it” he cooed as he reached for your hand.

He held your hand onto your tummy with slight pressure, allowing you to feel him nudging through you. You cried out in bliss as he leaned down and kissed sloppily onto your neck, his hand still on top of yours.

“Tom- Tommy o- oh my god” you cried as he rubbed your clit softly, it was beginning to get to you as he rubbed big circles. Your legs shook as you rode out your orgasm, your loud moans filling Tommy’s ears.

“TOMMY? You there?” Both of you froze as you heard Joel’s voice from behind the door. Tommy’s hand flew onto your mouth, his thrusts never coming to a halt as his brother knocked on the door.

“Lucky I closed the curtains” Tommy cooed as he kept his pace rough but quiet enough to not be heard from outside. “Tommy!” God Joel wasn’t giving up.

“Just keep quiet, he’ll leave” Tommy whispered as he kept your mouth covered. Your eyes were watery and hair was a mess as he kept you quiet, his cock twitched at the visual below him.

“I- shitt” Tommy seethed as he grew closer to his own release. Your legs locked behind his hips, locking him in as he buried his cock inside you “fuck! Ah ah-” Tommy let out a loud moan as he came inside you.

Now you were the one trying to cover his mouth in a weak attempt to not let Joel hear. Tommy dropped onto your chest as he pulled out, his sticky seed spilling out of you as he reached for his jacket to cover you up.

Joel gasped as he stood behind the couch. You hid under Tommy’s jacket as he tucked himself back into his boxers. “Out of all the people you two could fuck, it had to be each other?”

#smut #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller smut #tommy tlou #tommy miller #the last of us

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sysmedsaresexist · 1 day

Note

What you're doing is incredibly brave. We really appreciate the risk you're taking sharing your journey. It's awesome to see someone so vocal and with such reach openly change their stance.

We wanna know some of your thoughts about something you've been saying in all of this, about CDDs being separate from endogenic plurality. Specifically, your thoughts on when the two do meet. Like, endogenic systems that get traumatized and develop CDD symptoms? Or CDD systems that practice headmate creation, and find created headmates working like the rest of their system? Or folks in either category that relate a lot with those in the other?

We're curious because we exist in that in-between; a system with DID due to trauma, but that doesn't view our plurality itself as coming from trauma.

And if you're not at all interested in that area of overlap, or in sharing those thoughts, no worries! Have a great day!

This is a pretty nuanced ask and each mod has a different view on things, so we'll all answer!

Mod Signal: I believe that endogenic plurality and the plurality found in CDD systems works differently, but that intersection you're talking about can exist. The majority of resources for CDD systems involve how to deal with trauma and different alters reactions to it. If an endogenic system goes through some shit and gets trauma later in life, and can get use out of grounding guides, or how to deal with flooding, I say use those guides (and literally anyone can improve their mental health from therapy as long as the therapist. You know. Isn't a cunt.) That being said. There are also endos who are very certain they're endos when they may have.... a bit more trauma than they thought. And that's normal. Incredibly so. But endogenic communities can lead to a bit more harm than good occasionally with those systems if they insist that the system in question isn't or couldn't be a cdd system, or encourages them not to look into resources on how to deal with trauma.

As far as purposefully created alters, they absolutely exist, and I know CDD systems that have created alters with it going ok, and CDD systems who have been *horribly* hurt trying. I've seen some tulpamancy guides out there that made me wince the whole time I've read them. Not because they're cringy, but because any time a CDD system fucks around with purposeful dissociation, it's Incredibly easy to fuck yourself up by accident. Even some guides to meditation can be harmful to systems if you don't go slowly and pay attention to your body (something that's already very, very easy to ignore if your system, like mine, is made of 90% pain holders lol).

It's for that reason that i haven't changed my pinned intro as "endo-neutral". I dont doubt endogenic plurality at all, but I still find a lot of critiques in the way the two communities mix. The labels are fucked anyway lol so. I dont know what label would best fit that stance. The problem does seem to be slowly fixing itself though. I'm happy that a lot of endos are leaning away from terms used by CDD systems. I view these problems for the most part as growing pains that will smooth themselves over as plurality in general becomes more accepted and more research about both sets of systems comes out.

Mod Quill: I’m feel like that’s a great jumping off point for me, someone who is so weird with syscourse that labels don’t fit me. I believe in endogenic plurality, I really do, but I also know this community has done so much harm to CDDs and vice versa. Part of me wants everyone to go to time out corners and think about what they’ve done.

In terms of the overlap between endogenic and CDD systems… I think defining it, at this point, is frankly meaningless, particularly for the reasons Signal stated. There’s so many endogenic systems who are actually CDD systems. On one hand, I want them to be able to access CDD spaces because, well, they have a CDD… but on the other, as someone who’s been horrifically damaged by endogenic spaces, who has spread a lot of misinformation and been fed a lot of misinformation due to those experiences… I’m wary of letting someone like that into a highly fucking traumatized space. (But I also have feelings about CDD spaces in general…)

At the end of the day, I feel like it’s not my place to draw that line. It’s up to each individual and their own system where they draw the line, and so long as it’s in-line with current understandings of CDDs and they don’t speak their personal experiences as if they’re gospel truth for all systems, I have no issues. If someone says they have endogenic DID (as in, they formed DID with absolutely no trauma), it’s not my place to directly confront that person and tell them that’s not possible; but if they shout from the heavens about how people are ignoring the truth, I’m going to post the truth as I know it, with sources to back it up.

The same goes for this overlap. A system who says “Hey, I have created alters, and I’m a DID system, and those things overlap?” Cool! Awesome! That’s actually my type of system. A system who goes, “Therefore, DID systems should split new alters for the benefits it has”? Allow me to traumadump about how my system completely destabilized due to that practice. The overlap is there, but it’s not for me to define for others; not unless they make their experiences universal.

Mod Robo: Oh boy, I have a lot of Thoughts on all of these questions! It's stuff I think about often. I love talking about all the in-betweens and overlaps, and I'd love to hear about your experiences too. Unfortunately, I don't think I can jam all of my thoughts in this post (it's already long enough) so I'll just talk about your first question.

First off, I want to say that I don't think it's all that unusual for someone with a CDD to feel like they've always been plural, even before their CDD. Of course, spiritual beliefs can play a role in that. Let's put spiritual reasonings aside though and look at it from a purely psychological view. It's our belief that all of our alters -- everything that can be them, will become them, etc. -- it's all there from the start. We don't believe that alters come out of a vacuum. All of my alters were born the day our body was born. Many of us did not exist as alters yet, but the foundation for us existed!

To give a personal example: some of us have memories of childhood that predate our existence as alters. These memories predate our knowledge of being a system or having DID. We've wondered how it's possible to have memories that predate our existence as alters. How is it possible for several alters to have these same memories, and feel as if it's their own but also not? How is it possible that we can't really attribute "who" those memories belong to other than just...us? All of us? It didn't fit into the mainstream idea that alters are supposed to be these distinct, clear-cut people sharing a body, with separate memories and no overlap, no utterance of our existence before becoming a separate alter.

Children aren't born with an integrated self. You probably know the whole spiel -- the mind integrates as you get older, blah blah blah. So, in our opinion, we were never not plural. We had an unintegrated mind full of parts as a child, and we grew up into an adult with an unintegrated mind full of parts and eventually a DID diagnosis.

I get that some people don't see themselves as existing before their CDD and that's okay, I understand that. I also relate to that, in a way! It can be weird to consider because you as the alter didn't exist until later on. But you as the brain did, if that makes sense.

All that being said, I believe that "endogenic CDDs" are a completely separate concept from "endogenic systems with CDDs." CDDs are diagnoses -- they have specified symptoms, diagnostic criteria, and treatment. Diagnoses are not people. You are. That's why plurality is such an incredibly personal thing, after all. We're literally talking about your own mind. Your self/selves. Your internal reality. No duh there are gonna be people who conceptualize and talk about it in different ways. Like, I firmly believe that's NEVER going to be clear cut and easy to understand.

OG Dude: First, I have to say, thank you to my mods. Their responses are fantastic, I support all of them. I brought them all in pretty early, and I wouldn't be where I am without them. Their pro/endo patience while I went back and forth, screamed and yelled... I love them. I love that they saw the good in me and decided to help me run this blog.

I agree with all that they said. For clarity sake, I'll give my own thoughts, even if they overlap or repeat.

I've posted from the beginning about how a lot of things that endogenic systems talked about were actually really normal in DID systems. Created alters, characters that take on life, MADD, loving your system, dysfunction in different areas of life, on and on. I think there's more intersection than a lot of people realize, but I really like how Robo talked about personal views. It took a really long time to realize that people defining their experiences in different ways isn't necessarily a bad thing, though it's unfortunate that sometimes this confuses systems that are still learning.

Yelling and screaming isn't going to help, though. There's another ask coming, this one about my thoughts on sophie, that I think will tie into this point and expand on it a lot more, so for now, I'll move on.

I don't have all the answers. I think CDDs are something extremely specific-- I think in a few more years, diagnosis will involve brain scans, biomarkers, and we'll be able to say with a lot more certainty where that line is, and what's different.

For now, I think I've learned that the best thing I can do for myself, and everyone else, endo or CDD, is just keep pumping out information.

A couple users on here are really good examples of these lines. They have CPTSD, PTSD, whatever else they've got going on, but they still hold the belief that their plurality and CPTSD are unrelated. It took a long time to come to terms with balancing respect for that self-determination, and my expectations of technology and the specificity of CDDs (meaning like, specific biomarkers).

In the end, I realized that it boiled down to, "are people getting the help they need?" Because in the end, that's all that matters, and if someone doesn't think they need help, why am I arguing? If someone does, who am I to keep them from resources?

What if that technology doesn't reach the mainstream, what if it's decades before it's refined enough to be financially feasible in diagnosis? What if people come out with the exact same brain structure as someone with DID and still refuse to admit that the plurality is related?

Well, shit, I don't know, but I'm guessing the answer is still going to be, "Don't yell at them, respect their self-determination."

I still firmly believe that plurality and CDDs are different things. I think that treatment for CPTSD and PTSD are different, and many endos without longterm, repetitive trauma in childhood have PTSD, and would benefit more from those spaces and resources than CDD/CPTSD spaces. However, I also admit that a general PTSD space isn't going to be prepared for the complex interplay of plurality and PTSD. All that said, it's not my job to tell someone which they have, my job should be to present information on both to everyone and let people come to their own conclusions.

It's hard, but it's a skill I'm still trying to learn. Seeing more people talk about their experiences is probably the only thing that's going to help make it easier.

#syscourse #syscourse stance #mod signal #mod quill #mod robo #mod dude #team effort #also mod dude would like to apologize if his part seemed to cut off suddenly #he got distracted by a piece of shit floating down an otherwise pristine river

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