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viperwhispered · 18 days

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Cannot stop thinking about how Fernando was the first one to hug Seb after Monza 2008:

#two men who are not afraid to hug with both arms sjfklfl #but seriously fernando especially is always going full in on hugs(rather than the typical one handed) and i respect it #BUT GODDDDDD THAT HE WAS THE FIRST!!!!!! LITERALLY MURDERED ME #ive literally watched this race before and i didnt even notice #i think i wanted to see if there were pics of them from before 2009 and came across this and was so OH?????#fun fact if you look at my gallery from during the past gp +#its literally a mix of sad reaction pics and vettonso pics. what singapore does to a man. :')#but god i feel so abnormal about this hug. its just veru sweet to me okay!!!#vettonso is fun bcs theres not as much content so every little bit is very precious and important to me <3 #likeeeeee how close they hug each other and the way theyre still close when they pull back to look at each other!!!#i wonder what theyd be like if they hadnt been rivals. but tbh on the other hand their animosity is why I like them !#but ofc very sweet to see them when the slate was blank bcs then im like hmmm how long until 'fuck you my boy' happens #well! you guys know theyre my brainrot nowadays :D #watching 2010 will be fun bcs its literally primetime for all my ships #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #we do a little bit of f1 #2008 italian gp

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anna-scribbles · 27 days

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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work

unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion

#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad #because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid #i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back #i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades #i might be able to snag a short nap before work #but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen #WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE #well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway #OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently #emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it #and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry #so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m #so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point #anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari #after escaping her british nobility life #and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known #and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time #also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w #but at least he’s still obsessed with her #this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml #anna rambles #asks

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camellcat · 30 days

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some doctor who cyanotypes I made for my photography class that I just realized I never shared

#I don't actually know if anyone else will find these as cool as I did #but my tablemate and my teacher thought these turned out super good looking #so I wondered maybe if I showed them to people who actually watch doctor who that y'all might like them as well #I mean I know they're dead messy but it was soo fun to do #if you've got the chance to make a cyanotype you totally should. fantastic medium #btw the first is titled “the doctor(s)” if ur curious lol #I'll be honest I'm not the biggest fan of the second one but it certainly got me some compliments so #I'm thinking it's an “I made this therefor I do not like it” and less of an “it's trash” issue #is this art? does this count as art?#I won't tag the fanart tag ig since idk but I'll use my own since I still technically made these with my own two hands #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor who #my art: oil paint pawsteps 🐾#ohh. I also just realized I never shared my clara collage I made for this class either #I'm not going to show that one bc it IS trash but I think it's funny how clara is just my ultimate muse in all of my projects

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a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 9 months

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Nimona headcanons plus little bonus part 2 electric boogaloo

After Nimona found out about Ambrosius' allergies they demanded to test every single meal he eats

They’ll take the plate away from him and have a test bite and only after they deem it “safe” will they let him eat it

Doesn’t matter if they're out eating or at home she does this every time

He can literally say “Nim Bal made this for me it’s not gonna have anything I’m allergic to” and she’ll respond with “You don’t know that he could finally be sick of you and the only thing saving you is me”

Ambrosius and Bal will share literally everything they eat

Whenever they go out they’ll usually order something they know they’ll both like

And if they know the other one is between two options they’ll just order one of the options and share both meals

It’s a pretty normal thing that they’ve been doing since they were kids so they don’t even question it anymore

Nimona jokingly calls it sickening as she steals food off their plates

No one in the trio is neurotypical

Bal is autistic Ambrosius has ADHD Nimona is a mix of both

Talking to these dorks is absolute hell

It’s kind of like the interrogation scene except it’s not one topic

They often get sidetracked and lose the plot of the conversation

They’ll have 10 different conversations at once and only finish like 5

Bal forgets a whole bunch of shit because he has long-term brain damage and Nimona and Ambrosius forget shit cause of the ADHD

It’s not uncommon for someone to say “Hey remind me to” and then they’ll be cut off by the other person who just says “You know I won’t remember that just put a reminder in your phone”

Their house is covered to the brim in sticky notes and random pieces of paper for reminders

The grocery list is on the front door the chore list is in the kitchen and random little tasks are scattered around the house

When Nimona doesn’t want to do something he’ll just erase his name from that task

He fooled the boys for a while but Bal started keeping score of who did what and when and called his sneaky ass out

Little bonus part 2 electric boogaloo: this time it’s my sister and my mama and my sister also was acting like I was killing her firstborn not asking her to watch a movie

Me: “look mama it’s the siblings” my sister: “but they’re gay” me: “yeah but people thought they were siblings” my sister: “if you ever look at me like that I’m calling the cops” (the scene on the catwalk)

“Yeah you better cheer” (when Bal was getting knighted)

“I knew something was wrong with the sword” “So did Bal” “Yeah but I knew first”

Apparently both my Mama and my sister didn’t know that Ambrosius cut off Bal’s arm so I got to see both of their reactions

This was my Mama’s “damn what happened to being a lover not a fighter” “he’s a knight Mama” “Who cares!!”

This was my sister's “Wow really took the whole arm huh?” “That’s how they were trained” “And?”

My mama was talking to my sister when Nimona met Bal “Who does that remind you of?” “Roo” “Exactly”

“Oh look it’s tiny dick!” (Talking about Todd)

“What a fucking bitch” (when she found out the director swapped the sword)

This was when Bal and Ambrosius were fighting Me: “Is there anything gayer than having an argument in the middle of a sword fight” My mama: “They’ll fight with their other swords later”

“Who fucking asked” “bla bla bla I’m a racist bitch” (when the Director went on her monologue in the office)

She saw Ambrosius’ username and laughed for like two minutes straight

After the sword fight my sister would pretend like Bal and Ambrosius were making out every time they were on screen together

“Because I love you *making out noises*” at the tavern

“Oh there’s their third wheel (Todd)” “Nah he’s racist as fuck” “Who isn’t in the institute?”

When Ambrosius tried to stop the director she said this is what he meant “No you can’t set off the laser that’s my kid!” (She believes the trio is a family too)

“Awe they’re hugging *more making out noises*”

She called it cute in the end and I made fun of her for bitching about it

I asked my sister who her favorite is and she says “what’s his name balls?” I started cackling my ass off and she goes “I’m joking I know his name is Ballister and he’s still my favorite”

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister boldheart #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #i keep remembering different things she said and adding them #so if it looks like it’s changing it’s cause it is #I told my mama you founder her funny and she said and I quote #well of course they do I’m hilarious #I love my family so much #they're so fucking funny #there is nothing batter than watching movies with them #it's always fun to watch them pretend to hate it for the first five minutes and love it for the rest of the movie #she deadass called this guy balls #she actually remembered his name tho so you know he’s her favorite #I know I’m gonna get thirst edits in the middle of the night now

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lesbiankordian · 11 months

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Why did Dazai put his hand on Chuuya's forearm?

(ID in alt)

because when someone's choking you, you grab their WRIST, to put the pressure from your throat, not their forearm. (wise words from this video. i actually did research for that. what's more is that at first Dazai did put his hand on Chuuya's wrist but changed it a panel later. he could've put it lower on the glove but he didn't do that and instead had it on his forearm until Chuuya punched him. also idc if he's not really choking Dazai bc even so for sb who hates pain this cannot be comfortable. also Chuuya why are you doing that if you don't wanna actually hurt him huh?).

and the way Dazai's touch can't even be called a grab bc it's so light... this man really just wanted to touch Chuuya's skin - otherwise he'd have gone for his wrist (which is gloved)...

(ID in alt)

and an additional thing that's probably me overanalyzing but oh well:

i know that in the 2nd pic, after their fight with Lovecraft, the touch was needed, but it's interesting how Dazai touches Chuuya at the very same place that he did in the PM's basements. let's say that's where he would touch him while nullifiying corruption most times. soo imagine that the Dazai from the PM prison scene touched Chuuya there - so lightly, as if checking if he can still do it - as a way of asking Chuuya if he still trusted him with corruption and their partnership. that touch holds memories of so many of the double black's battles and, most importantly, of the trust that used to be - and maybe still is, that's what Dazai's checking (and what will be confirmed during the fight with Lovecraft) - between them.

#hahahahahha they make me unwell #(btw I watched some other videos too and in most other martial arts the wrists are where you grab as well)#I'm not done abt the 1st pic actually #bc first of all we can't see his eyes and that's an important thing in manga (cough cough CHAPTER 101) but we know he's looking at chuuya #who's really pissed #so maybe that touch is also supposed to put Chuuya's mind at ease? at least a bit #bc not only is it Dazai's touch but also it's THAT part of his forearm #bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #god no also the fact that Chuuya's forearms are bare but Dazai's are covered #but it's the opposite with their hands #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #skk #bsd 11

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