#I'm just playing pretend folks this isn't real

[gobbogoo]

Everything We Know About Who Pyro Is/Was:

Obviously Pyro remains ​​⁠​⁠​⁠an enigma and I'm not going to pretend I have much in the way of definitive proof, however there ARE aspects of their background we can reasonably assume based on the skills and behaviours Pyro displays. First and foremost, we need to understand the extent of the disconnect between their consciousness and reality. Most folks understand it as mainly auditory and visual hallucination, however if you look at side-by-side moments in Meet The Pyro, you'll realize that there's a clear disconnect between Pyro's physical stance:

What Pyro believes they are doing with their body and what their body is actually doing can be entirely disconnected. Furthermore, if you listen closely to Pyro's more comprehensible dialogue, you'll notice that what they say lines up more with what they're actually doing, and not what they THINK they're doing:

Put together, this implies Pyro possesses not just a disconnect from reality, but also a full-blown division of personality. There's Conscious Pyro, who is the bundle of joy frolicking through Pyroland, and then there's Unconscious Pyro, who is the maniacal murderer actively interacting with reality. Both of these personalities seem to play a factor in Pyro's behaviour. While Conscious Pyro clearly seems to possess a degree of control over how they act in Pyroland, the fact that all those actions also happen to be very effective methods of murder in the real world says that Unconscious Pyro is steering these decisions.

Now, these two are not ALWAYS so disconnected or extreme. When not actively burning things, Pyro's perceived reality seems to line up more closely with what's actually happening from a visual, auditory, and physical standpoint:

Conscious Pyro's whimsy and Unconscious Pyro's murderousness both seem to drastically tone down in these circumstances, however both never fully go away. Pyro is ALWAYS capable of extreme violence/destruction:

Speaking of extreme violence, Conscious Pyro DOES share Unconscious Pyro's capacity and willingness to cause harm. This implies that the difference between the personalities' behaviour is more-so the result of their perceived environments, not demeanour.

To summarize, Pyro's disconnect from reality becomes more powerful when in the presence of fire/destruction, and this causes a divergence in Pyro's perceived and presented personalities. Moving on to in-game lore, it is stated that Pyro built/improvised the majority of their weapons (mainly out of stuff found in a garage.) This is immediately clear if you look at the individual components of their flamethrower:

The primary exception to this is their shotgun, which is a standard weapon they nonetheless operate with a trained familiarity:

Building a flamethrower is no easy feat. Besides being extremely complicated and dangerous, all information regarding flamethrower construction and schematics are strictly controlled by the U.S. government. Therefore I'd say it isn't much of a leap to suggest that Pyro's ability to construct and operate improvised military-grade incendiary weaponry must have been the result of formal training.

This is further supported by the fact that their flame-retardant suit is not equipment provided by Mann Co, as they continue to wear it even after being fired. All this together implies that before becoming a mercenary, Pyro had a job that provided them with both the knowledge and tools of an incendiary specialist. This more-or-less confirms that Pyro was not ALWAYS so insane, as at some point they were considered stable enough to be trusted with such a dangerous job. Since Pyro seemingly hasn't taken the suit off since that job, it can be deduced that whatever triggered or inflicted the madness they now suffer from must have occurred during their service. It would also explain why all of Pyro's incendiary weapons are homemade while their suit is standard-issue. After being fired they obviously weren't allowed to keep any weaponry, meaning they had to construct their own.

There are a lot of ways to interpret all of this, but my personal theory is that Pyro was at one point part of some Cold War experiment. One that sought to disconnect soldiers from the reality of their actions during combat, while ALSO allowing them to operate with brutal efficiency. Considering this was the era of the Vietnam War, a way to make soldiers not feel guilty or resentful while being ordered to commit atrocities would have been an invaluable tool for the USA's military. Pyro being a highly trained candidate for such an experiment is the only explanation I can think of for how they could be simultaneously highly trained in incendiary weaponry AND be too blatantly insane to ever justify such training. This would ALSO explain why Pyro is both so frighteningly dangerous and unstable, yet still somehow employable as a mercenary. While extreme, they remain capable of understanding and following instructions from superiors. Even if said instructions have to be delivered in a slightly different manner:

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #headcanon #tf2 pyro #pyro tf2 #pyro #tf2 comics #tf2 lore #Youtube

[oliversrarebooks]

Fitz's Volunteer Part One: The Act

In which a vaudeville fan volunteers for Phantom Fitz's show, ready to play along with some fake hypnosis tricks. Because magic isn't real. Right?

Masterlist

November 1923

TW: mind control, hypnotic induction, mild humiliation, extremely self indulgent

You've always loved going to the vaudevillle. The songs and sketches, the dancers and acrobats, the comedians and the dramatic actors. It's such a good way to take your mind off your troubles -- of which you unfortunately have many -- for just a few hours and relax.

"...and that was the Astounding Flying Lloyd sisters! Give 'em a hand, folks!" said the announcer. "Up next is the mysterious and charming magician and mesmerist Phantom Fitz!"

You've seen this act before, and it was fun and very interesting. He calls up a volunteer from the audience and hypnotizes them into assisting his routine, teasing them and giving them mildly embarrassing bits of business to do. You know it's either a plant or someone told to play along, of course -- you're no gullible rube who believes in magic.

Still, it seems like it must be fun to be led around the stage, pretending to be in a hypnotic trance. It doesn't hurt that he's easy to look at, with a slightly wicked smile and a cheeky sparkle in his eye. What's the harm in being a bit of a fan of a vaudeville performer, after all?

"Now, I'm going to need a willing assistant from the audience to demonstrate my mesmeric power on!" he declares with a flourish of his cape. "Who would like to find themselves completely and helplessly under my power? Don't be shy. I promise I don't bite, unless you want me to." He gave a big wink to the audience.

Hands go up all over, and you briefly consider raising yours. But you'd be too shy to actually go up on stage and do those things, if you were even chosen to begin with. Fitz is scanning the crowd, probably looking for his plant.

But then his eyes stop right on you. He smiles.

Does he want you to volunteer? Why you?

You're curious now. Before you can think twice, your hand raises.

His smile gets much bigger. "You, there," he says, pointing. "Don't be shy, you're perfect for this. You're going to be a natural at following my instructions. I can tell." He beckons you forward, and with all eyes on you, you leave your seat and walk up the stairs onto the stage. As soon as you step up, he takes your hand. His own hand is freezing cold, but something about it feels oddly reassuring, putting you at ease, making it easier to block out the presence of the crowd.

"Thank you for volunteering," he says. That wicked grin is even brighter now that you're close to him. "What's your name?"

You tell him.

"That's a lovely name. Shame you won't be needing it for this performance," he says, leaving you wonder what that means. He reaches behind your ear. "Oh, you have something stuck in your ear, hang on." 

He's pretending to pull out colorful scarves, one after another, and you're pretty sure they must be coming out of his sleeves, but his fingers are so fast and nimble that you can't even quite tell when you're this close. "Not to embarrass you, but perhaps you should wash behind your ears better," he says, as a rainbow of scarves pools at your feet. The crowd is laughing.

You're not sure how to react, and before you can really say anything, he's pulled the scarves away and is leading you over to a chair center stage. "And now, if you don't mind having a seat, we can get down to the important business of molding you into the perfect assistant for me."

"All right," you say nervously, not sure what you're supposed to do. You had assumed this was a plant. Are you going to have to play-act being hypnotized? You've never been very good at acting, and you're worried you might spoil the act.

"Now don't you fret," he says, standing behind the chair and placing a soft hand on top of your head. "No one is able to resist my mesmeric powers for long. All you need to do is sit back and relax." He leans in closer, and you assume he's going to whisper instructions. Instead, he says, "Do you mind if I touch you like this? I need to keep your head steady in case you start to doze off."

"...No?" you say, surprised. Does he actually think you're going to fall asleep, that his hypnosis will work in truth?

"Good," he says, and produces a heavy brass pocketwatch, which he dangles in front of your face. It's finely made with a pretty face, and it ticks softly and rhythmically as he swings it back and forth before your eyes. "Now just watch the pretty pocketwatch, dear," he says. "Keep your eyes focused as it swings back and forth, back and forth. Focus on nothing else but the watch and my voice."

Wanting to do your best, you let your eyes follow the watch, and you feel something strange, starting at the top of your head where Fitz is holding his hand. It feels warm. Relaxing. Dizzying. Almost like sinking into a warm bath.

"Yes, that's right, you're doing so well," he encourages. "I knew you'd be so good at this. You're already starting to get sleepy, aren't you? So sleepy and drowsy. That's my mesmeric power starting to work on you, dear."

Of course, you're not actually going to start falling asleep on stage in front of an entire audience just because of a pocketwatch and a few honeyed words...

Of course you're not...

"That's it. Such a good assistant. Every swing of the watch making you sleepier and sleepier. So drowsy. So relaxed, so tired, such heavy eyelids..."

You shake yourself out of the daze you're falling into. What's happening? It has to be your imagination, but you actually do feel sleepy. You can't tear your eyes away from the watch, and it feels like Fitz's commands are sinking deep into your mind. This can't actually be working on you, can it?

"You're just so tired and drowsy, tired and sleepy. Your eyelids are so heavy, drifting shut, like they want to stay closed... getting sleepier and sleepier..." The hand on top of your head gently strokes your hair, and the drowsy daze intensifies, your head drooping forward before you catch yourself. "You're so drowsy that you're starting to fall asleep, dear."

It's hard to think through the haze. You can't see the audience very well past the heavy, swinging watch, but your mind is trying to alert you to the fact that you're being mesmerized in front of an entire crowd. It feels so real, so hard to keep yourself awake.

"You're getting so, so sleepy as I cast my magic spell on you," he says, and even though he's speaking loud enough for the audience to hear, he feels so close, like he's only talking to you. "Wouldn't it be nice to shut down those heavy eyes, to relax completely, and to listen sleepily to my voice speaking to you?"

You feel yourself nod. Yes, yes that sounds so nice. You're so drowsy and relaxed and everything feels so warm and good. It makes you feel especially nice to agree with what he's saying. Falling asleep and listening to Fitz just sounds perfect. But --

But -- !

Wait! You're actually falling asleep. You're actually following his commands. He's actually hypnotizing you. It's no trick, it's no act. He's putting you under his control up on a vaudeville stage, in front of a packed theater. Your cheeks flush, and you regain enough of yourself to flinch away from the pocketwatch. You should regain focus before it's too late and you fall completely under his mesmeric influence.

"Oh, dear," he whispers softly in your ear. "It's not the pocketwatch that's putting you under my spell. And I think it's a bit too late for you to resist."

A deep, irresistible drowsiness crashes through you. Your shoulders slump and your head tips forward as you struggle to keep your impossibly heavy eyes open. It's too late -- too late to resist -- you're being hypnotized --

"Shut your eyes, dear," he says, his hand petting you. "It's time to let your heavy, drowsy eyes shut, and remain shut, just like they want to, to relax and fall asleep and listen to me."

Any fight you had left in you has gone, replaced by a hazy feeling of bliss. Closing your eyes feels far too good to fight. Falling asleep and listening to Fitz's voice sounds so, so nice. Why even bother struggling against it? Why not just fall asleep...? 

"Good, good, you're such a natural at this," he says encouragingly. "Your sleepy little eyes want  to stay closed. They're far too heavy to open again. You might want to try, but if you do, you'll find that you can't. It's like they're glued shut. Can you try for me?"

Your eyebrows furrow as you try to open your eyes. Not only are they heavy, but they feel too relaxed to even respond to your commands. It's impossible.

"You can stop trying now and relax. You're doing so well. Such an ideal hypnotized assistant," he says, and you feel yourself practically glowing with the praise. "Now I'm going to have you imagine you're at the top of a staircase. Can you see it? There are ten stairs, and we're going to walk down each one of them, and with every step, you're going to go deeper asleep and deeper into hypnotic trance. Ten... nine..."

You can't believe how it feels to float in a comfortable cloud of sleep and relaxation, absorbing every word Fitz says. You could happily stay like this forever. 

"Five... your hypnotized mind is so obedient... four... it feels so good and natural to obey..."

You don't even need to stay aware of what's happening -- he tells you it's perfectly fine if you're deeply asleep, that you can still listen so carefully while you doze. He's so encouraging and kind and that hand on top of your head seems to just radiate delicious warmth.

"...and you're going to forget you name, dear. You're so deeply sleepy and hypnotized that you can't even remember your own name. It's hidden away in your mind, in a place where you can't reach, and it feels good to forget and sink more deeply into sleep..."

Mmm, yeah, it feels good to forget. Anything Fitz wants you to do is fine with you.

"...and when I count to three, you're going to open your eyes, slowly, so as not to disturb your relaxation. You're going to open your eyes, but you're going to remain deeply asleep and deeply hypnotized, and you're going to forget the audience and focus only on me. Three... remain deeply asleep... two... relaxed and hypnotized... and one... open your eyes."

Your eyes pop open so easily as if you weren't just in the deepest sleep of your life. Or maybe you still are? There's a fuzzy blur in front of you and you're not quite sure where you are until Fitz gets your attention. 

"How are you doing, my sweet little assistant?"

"Very good," you say, eager to please.

He grins, and you feel like a million bucks. "Can you sing a little song for us, just to prove to the audience that you're back in the land of the living?"

Well, of course you can. You can sing the song that's been trapped in your head ever since you heard it on the radio this afternoon. "Yes, we have no bananas," you sing out. "We have no bananas today!"

"That's perfect, dear," Fitz says, laughing. You hear other laughs in the distance, but they aren't important. "Now I seem to have dropped a penny. Would you mind getting on all fours and picking it up?"

You drop to your knees, carefully looking across the stage floor, but you don't see any sign of a penny.

"Never mind, I've already found it. You're very, very good at following instructions, though. I wonder why that is." He winks, and there's another loud laugh in the distance. 

Fitz offers a hand to pull you up, and you feel so wonderfully lovely as he does. "You've been such an excellent assistant so far, simply perfect," he says, letting you bask in the pleasure. "But I have to apologize, because I seem to have forgotten your name. Could you remind me?"

Of course you --

The word dies in your throat. It's at the tip of your tongue, but for some reason, you can't produce it. What is your name? You want to tell Fitz, but it's a complete blank. How could you forget your own name? Just as you feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, he smiles and cups your face so gently. "Shhh, it's okay. It's okay that you forgot your name. I don't mind at all. You can just relax and not worry about it."

What a relief! Another wave of sleepy, soothing calm washes through you.

"I'm just going to call you dear anyway, is that all right, dear?"

"Yes."

"So agreeable! Folks, you can't just find good help like this. You have to make it yourself." He releases you and steps back. "Now, just to prove what a hypnotized little thing you are, I would like you to do a trust fall. I'm going to stand here, and on the count of three, you're going to feel all your muscles give way, and you're going to fall backwards right into my arms."

"A trust fall...?" you say, a little apprehensive.

"You trust me, and you want to fall for me, don't you?" he says, with a wicked smile in your direction, and despite your overall relaxation, you can feel your heart flip. "Now then. Three... two... one."

It's so easy. On the count, your body just falls backwards entirely on its own, right into his strong, cold arms. He smells like fancy soap and floral cologne and stage makeup. Some part of you wouldn't mind staying pressed up against him longer. But he sets you upright to the sound of cheers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, my assistant is now utterly, helplessly at my command. Isn't that right, dear?"

"Yes, Phantom Fitz," you agree.

"I'm going to have you help me with a few magic tricks. You're such a good assistant that you won't need to think about any of them with your conscious mind. You can just relax and let me direct you, and with every command, you'll feel more deeply asleep and more deeply hypnotized."

You nod drowsily, and let him take you by the shoulders and direct you over to a card table. It feels good to be near him, to listen. He calls up a few more people on stage and you're shuffling and holding cards while he does some tricks you can't quite follow. It's so easy to follow his directions. So easy to focus and listen. 

"Can someone from the audience suggest a pose for my wonderful assistant?" he says. You hear shouts, but you can't take your attention from Fitz. "Oh, that's a good one. Yes, why don't you pose like you're a pretty ballerina?"

You stand on tiptoe and put your arms up in a circle over your head, doing your best to imitate a dancer. He looks you over, appraising you as if you're a statue, adjusting you here and there with a light touch. Finally, he laughs, picks up the line of scarves from the floor, and drapes it around you. "A brilliant work of art, don't you think?" he says to the crowd with a flourish. "This is the kind of statue that you can only see in the finest galleries of Paris, but I've brought it to you right here."

He bows, and then touches your arms so gently. "You can relax now, dear. You've made an excellent statue."

He then has you lay down on a table, his hands pushing your shoulders down gently, and you feel yourself being levitated in midair. There's some kind of platform underneath you and you stay absolutely still just as Fitz ordered. He waves a hoop around your body, and then gently brushes the hair from your face as you lay there, dazed and immobilized.

You look up into his gray-blue eyes. You're so helpless, entirely at his mercy. And that smile makes you feel weak.

You're lowered back onto the table, and he helps you to stand again, your knees feeling wobbly. He holds you up discreetly as he bows to the audience. "Please give a round of applause to my hopelessly mesmerized little helper!" he says, gesturing to you, and you can just see the crowd beyond your lidded eyes as they cheer.

Fitz takes you by the shoulders and is standing oh-so-close. "I'm going to wake you up now so you can go back to your seat, but you're still going to feel drowsy and hypnotized, and you won't quite know why," he whispers, barely audible over the noise of the audience. "Once the show is done, you're going to come find me backstage. You won't remember these commands, but you will act on them. Do you understand, dear?"

You nod. You feel so lovely that you really don't want to be woken up, but you like the idea of getting to see Fitz again. 

"And now you're going to wake up from my mesmeric power when I snap my fingers in one... two... three..."

He snaps his fingers near your ear, and the world snaps back into focus. A whole packed audience of people, men, women, and children, are laughing and cheering for you. You remember the things you did and said, how completely entranced you felt and how powerless you were to resist Fitz's commands. How you couldn't even remember your own name, and how you let him put his hands all over you...

"You feel fine after all of that, don't you?" he says with a smile.

Your momentary humiliation fades, but you're still so woozy, like it's hard to think straight. "Fine. Good, really. Like I've had a really good night's sleep," you say uncertainly.

He leans in to whisper in your ear. "You did an excellent job playing along."

"Playing along?" you can't help but blurt out. He can't possibly think that -- he must know what he did, what he's capable of --

"Here, let me help you off the stage."

You're not sure why, but you let him take your shoulders and guide you to the stairs as if you're a docile little lamb. You're so dazed, nearly tripping over your feet as you stumble back to your seat. 

"What was that like?" says the stranger in the seat next to yours. "It seemed so real. Did he actually have you under?"

You don't really want to admit to a perfect stranger that you were under an actual mesmeric spell. She'd think you're making it up. "No, it was just pretend," you say.

"I figured. You did a good job with it! I don't think I could pretend to do all those things if I were on stage."

You nod. You don't think you could, either, not if you actually were pretending.

Playing along...

You weren't, were you? It felt so real. You can hardly remember most of it, and you genuinely felt that you were in a deep, entranced sleep. You remember that all you wanted to do was agree with Fitz and obey his orders. Wasn't it actual hypnosis? Or are you just so weak-willed that you fell under the fake spell of a two-bit vaudeville performer...

Fitz has picked up his props and gone offstage, and a couple of comedians are doing a bit now. You watch without paying the slightest bit of attention. You're so tired after all of that excitement. So sleepy.

There's something you need to do after the show, but you can't quite remember what it is. You hope that you can remember when the show ends.

Masterlist >> Part Two

Thank you for volunteering for Phantom Fitz's show. Next time, we'll see what happens to our victim volunteer as they go to meet him backstage.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining-blog @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity

#whump #vampire #whump writing #mind control #hypnosis #hypnotic induction #magic show #stage hypnosis #vampire whumper #rare bookseller #fitz

[ponett]

Got a spoilery ask about SLARPG regarding Melody's character arc and, to a lesser extent, the ending, so I'll put this below a read more!

Anonymous asked:

Heya! I adore adore adore SLARPG, and have latched pretty hard onto Melody and Harmony's dichotomy for a while... I was wondering whether you saw Harmony more as an obstacle to Melody's growth, or something to be worked on and reconciled with more like Madeline and Badeline from Celeste? Unless it's spoilers of course. It's one of the few threads left open after the game, and as a plural woman myself I was just curious. X3

I'll say up front that I've generally avoided stepping in and telling people what The One Correct Interpretation is for a lot of things in SLARPG. I didn't intend for Melody to be read as plural, since in the story Harmony is a parasitic outside force, but I also understand where that interpretation comes from and won't tell folks they're wrong for relating to her like that. That's just the beauty of art. We can relate to things however we want. I just wanna make sure my personal framing is clear before I talk about the thought behind Melody and Harmony's relationship

Harmony is more of a literary device than a character. While she's not an alternate personality for Melody, she's also not really a full person in her own right. I don't think about Harmony having her own arc. She's a magical force that occasionally externalizes Melody's darker, more self-critical thoughts for the audience, where normally she would keep them to herself. She has her own design and name to make the dialogue boxes easier to follow. I also keep it intentionally vague whether or not other people would be able to see Harmony because I find that understated uncertainty more fun.

On a literal level, Harmony is a magical parasite, and therefore an obstacle to be overcome. She's not supposed to be there, straight up. But because she's just the embodiment of dark thoughts that Melody is already having, there isn't really much point in "defeating" Harmony to me - which is why things play out the way they do.

Even if Melody got rid of Harmony, she would still have to deal with those feelings. It would be a purely symbolic victory. And symbolic victories like that are often satisfying as hell in fiction, but in real life you can't defeat your shadow self to stop those 3am "what if my friends are only pretending to like me" thoughts. So instead, Harmony is something Melody needs to cope with and minimize. It's not about getting rid of bad thoughts forever, but rather learning how to deal with them better. And that's an active, life-long process. And so Harmony remains, but Melody is working on having healthier relationships with both her loved ones and herself.

I'll also say that, while I love Celeste, Madeline and Badeline's arc is mostly irrelevant to the way I write Melody and Harmony. (I don't think this ask is accusing me of plagiarizing Maddy Thorson or anything, to be clear. I'm just on a tangent since the comparison was brought up.) SLARPG began development in 2015, so the Harmony scenes, and Melody's arc as a whole, were already planned before Celeste came out. While I worried about getting compared to a much more popular game, I stuck to my guns, knowing that my story was different enough to stand on its own. If anything, I just avoided specific phrases like "reflection" or "I'm a part of you" to try and keep people from just pointing and going "Celeste reference!"

Unfortunately the "wow this is just like Celeste" comments were unavoidable, as were the newfound generalizations about what all indie games about trans girls with anxiety must be like because there are two (2) whole games that share some common story tropes, and it seems like the ending may have thrown some people off because of expectations created by Celeste. But what are you gonna do? I at least avoided my absolute nightmare scenario of Deltarune Ch.2 doing glitch aesthetics or giving Susie and Noelle a kiss mechanic lmao

#anon #ask #slarpg asks #slarpg spoilers

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Look. I'm fucking done here.

I'm fucking furious. I've had ENOUGH of people shit talking Kristen Reidel for being "antibuddie".

Newsflash you imbecils, it's OBVIOUSLY blatantly untrue!! She's been here for us, from the very start, to lay out the foundation for queer Buck and Eddie. She's written, directed and been the executive producer for some of the most monumental buddie moments!!

Maybe take a moment to understand that these shows are huge and one person does not have all the say for how things work out. These people do not work in isolation, doing whatever they like!

Let's remember that the show used be on Fox, which is arguably one of the most conservative networks there are!!!

The show already had several main queer characters and romances when Eddie's character entered the show in season 2. We also know that the main target audience is fairly tradional, and the show is freaking expensive to make without a huge profit in return. We KNOW it has repeatedly struggled to get renewed due to that.

Let's remember that creating a show like this is not an existence of stress-free creative indulgence - you are actually responsible for HUNDREDS of jobs! The show's survival! People's income! The crew isn't just a couple of known actors, it's also everyone else making the show, and these productions are HUGE. It's so many families income at stake.

So WAKE UP and realise what they've been against, creating this show.

I'm like obnoxiously queer but even I would get nervous at the idea of similtaneously airing several queer ships on a show about emergency responders, on freaking Fox!

Seriously, just stop to think. What if they had gone for blatant buddie early on?

The show would have had to juggle... let's do some math...

Hen, Karen, and Eva being queer and raising a rainbow family,

Michael's coming out storyline, then his and David's romance, Josh being very much gay and dating men... Add to that Buck and Eddie, and that's MANY prominent queer characters, story arcs and romances trying to compete for air time... ON FOX, in a show about firefighters!

The risk of the the largely conservative, homophobic audience on a conservative channel going "it's too much" and abandoning the show was REAL, don't you pretend otherwise.

Sure, there are other less easily intimidated audiences, but how would they know if the leap into the unknown would pay off?

I think in those circumstances they made a very sensible decision to focus on the other queer characters anf storylines first.

Again, it's hundreds of people's incomes at stake!!! There must have been people, funders, bosses voting against adding more blatantly queer storylines to the current situation because it was just not the right time.

So Kristel Reid was CAUTIOUS when she gave interviews. Remember, the future of the show has been uncertain from the start with how expensive it is to make!!

She did not want to give false hope to the viewers hoping for buddie come true. She did not want to be accused of queerbaiting. She very sensibly made sure to appear neutral about buddie, and give the UNTRUE impression that her head canon is that meh, they're just straight friends to her.

Quite frankly folks... NEVER PLAY POKER WITH THIS WOMAN, I think she'd eat you in a minute!!

She LIED. Fucking absorb that information. Breathe it in! You can do it! She's been obviously rooting for Buddie to happen for AGES.

Why do I say this?

Well here's my fucking powerpoiny about it!!! Read this and take a minute to consider her innocent "oh they're the very bestest of friends"-front against her actual work on the show!!

She WROTE 5x18, you know, with Ravi's line to Hen:

"I think it's sweet that Karen was defending you. I mean, isn't that what we all want in a partner, knowing they have your back?"

She's no spring chicken, she wrote this fully knowing the memory we buddie shippers possess!!!

She WROTE the scene in which Eddie comforts Buck at the hospital after Maddie's kidnapping.

She WROTE 3x01, that's the scene in which Eddie bursts into Buck's apartment when Buck's feeling down and has Chris hang out with "his Buck".

She co-wrote Eddie's disgusted reaction to meeting Abby, she co-wrote Buck hearing that Chris is going on a two-week school trip and freaking out like a mother hen,

She WROTE freaking 4x14 - You know, the episode SURVIVORS, in which Eddie is shot by a sniper!! In the queerest way possible!!

She WROTE Desperate measures, you know - the episode in which Eddie breaks up with Ana, freaking oozing repressed queer subtext all over the place!!

Have you even watched the talk Buck and Eddie have before the breakup?!!! It's INSANE.

---

Buck: Ah. I thought you'd be the first one out the door. Christopher know you're coming?

Eddie: Not yet. I haven't figured out what I'm going to say when I get home. To Ana.

---

Try telling me that "door" isn't the door of a closet, I challenge you!!

She freaking co-wrote 5x17!!! The META of Taylor, in 5x17 "promising" she won't "run the story", and then breaking that promise.

That same episode has Eddie visiting his home btw, and paints a very illuminative picture of the environment Eddie grew up in - it practically spells toxic masculinity, compulsory heterosexuality, catholic guilt. Really, that episode basically screams "This is why Eddie is such a repressed onion."

THAT episode also has THAT insane closet door scene, Eddie opening a closet door as Buck says:

Buck: You know, your parents will understand!

Eddie turns to stare at him.

Buck: ...They should understand. *Plays with a toy dinosaur as he's talking, and pretends it bites his finger.*

... And again, after that episode she wrote 5x18, the one with "Isn't that what we all want in a partner, knowing they have your back?"

An obvious parallel to Buck and Eddie meeting and promising to have each other's backs!!!

....

Seriously, Kristel Reidel has had our back from the very beginning and I'm fed up with people talking shit about her!! I think it's no coincidence that one of the emergencies she wrote was "someone stuck in a freezer", that's fucking meta. I bet she's wanted to fucking hit the pedal but she's been forced to bide her time, and it's been fucking agony at times.

And don't even get me started on Tim fucking Minear, who people have ALSO shit talked because "hE jUst liKes tO QuEerBait".

BE FUCKING GRATEFUL FOR KRISTEN REIDEL, YOU utter... *censored*.

BE GRATEFUL FOR TIM MINEAR. They are our freaking GOATS and they deserve our love!!!

Edit. After reading up some more about the power structures of media networks like these... I would really not be surprised if it turned out that the people running this show (such as Reidel and Minear, the people listed next to the episodes) have had even less say on what sort of stories they get to do than I've thought.

After all, these people we fans focus on and know by name... They're really not nearly as influential as we think. There are still plenty of big chiefs higher up in the food chain. I've heard some vague rumours before that the network has meddled with the show's creative decisions a lot in these past years, and would not be surprised if it was true.

#kristen reidel #tim minear #911 on abc #buddie #911 buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie 911 #evan buck buckley #911 abc #eddie díaz #DONE WITH THIS SHITTALK!!!

[crusherthedoctor]

Get a Load of Traits - PART 2: Dr. Eggman

It's that time again, folks. Time for another analysis you didn't ask for.

I explained how the setup goes with my previous installment revolving around Sonic, but to recap: for the sake of not dragging things out too much, I’ve decided to keep it all thematically consistent by sticking with 9 main points per character, in terms of what I personally consider the highest priorities for each of them. These will usually not be listed in any particular order of importance or relevance unless stated otherwise, and while there may be other major traits that might not get mentioned (in which case, feel free to bring them up yourself if you see fit), this keeps things simple and focuses on the points that have the most flexibility with how much of the character they encapsulate.

It should also be noted that these posts are made with the game portrayals in mind, because the games mark the core of the franchise, and as such, they objectively contain the purest essence of the cast. Adaptations generally like to play by their own rules, some more gratuitously and inexcusably than others, and this will inevitably crop up with certain entries. All that being said however, I’ll attempt to stay focused rather than devolve into another rant about this adaptation or that adaptation, only directly referring to them if I feel it’s necessary for the point being made.

Anyhow, for today’s installment, the spotlight shines on everyone's favourite villain that they pretend isn't a villain: Dr. Eggman.

He's larger than life.

Where could he be???

He's shaped like an egg. He laughs and bellows like it's going out of fashion. He proudly announces when he's in the room for no other reason than to inform everyone that he's in the room. He takes sadistic glee when you don't have enough memory in the memory card. Why would you want to sawdust away this side of him? What are you, a Hollywood writer?

Just as Sonic is a fun hero, it's integral that Eggman is a fun villain. He's all about the colour, the spectacle, the raw energy. This is non-negotiable. If you approach this character and think he needs to be made grounded because he has a silly name or something, then you are going about this the completely wrong way. Villains like Eggman get praised all the time for being vibrant and wacky, so frankly, there is no excuse to write him off for it.

He is genuinely smart.

"Oh yeah? Well if you played nice, I wouldn't need to transform you into a tedious gameplay mechanic that appeals to furries and is guaranteed to give this game negative reviews from IGN. Haha, gottem."

Look at the screencap above. He was able to turn the tables against Super Sonic right when it looked as though he was thoroughly cornered. How was he able to achieve this? By planning.

*leans closer to the mic*

P L A N N I N G.

Yes, he is not literally omniscient. Yes, he can be prone to the occasional oversight. Yes, unexpected events can transpire that would be difficult if not impossible for him to account for. But all that aside, Eggman is a genius. He does have an IQ of 300. He talks a big game, but with all the amazing tech he's created over the years, and with all the ways he's pulled a fast one over the heroes, he has proven that he can play the big game. Need I remind you that this is a human, and his arch-nemesis is the fastest thing alive, not some dude on the street. He would need to be on his A-game in order to last.

And yes, it is indeed him who does all that brainstorming. Ever since day 1, he's always been very hands-on with his operations, not needing to steal the credit from another scientist or force a hostage to do it all for him. His plans? His weapons? They're all him. Would a mere bumbler be able to subdue the Time Eater?

He is genuinely evil.

"What's this shite I'm hearing about a Mr. Tinker...?"

We've got the Triforce of Funny Man. We've got the Triforce of Real Intelligence. Now here comes the hardest pill to swallow: the Triforce of Actually Malevolent.

For reasons that can be pinned on certain portrayals that are coincidentally more commonly found in adaptations, fans are all too willing to remove agency from Eggman's villainy. When they're not claiming an amnesiac personality that peaced out as quickly as it arrived is his true self, they're claiming he has all these heated gamer moments for the purpose of avenging his Wasted™ grandfather, Professor Gerald Robotnik. Or they claim he's not as bad as other villains in the franchise because he "only" wants to conquer the world, rather than destroy it.

Now how can I put this gently...

No, I am not just saying this because I personally happen to favor Eggmen with proper villainous balls to their name rather than glorified frenemies with Sonic at best. Even when exorcising myself of all potential bias, the Eggman we see in the games is still a very different fellow from what a concerning number of fans say with a straight face he is.

He stuffs animals inside robots on a regular basis. He lies, cheats, and backstabs on a regular basis. He fired a laser at the planet with the intent to fracture it, with no consideration for destruction or fatalities. He conquered other planets just to reduce them to self-indulgent attractions for his theme park. He drove a friendly robot to insanity after they were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to destroy Station Square right out the gate, with the only difference come the end of his rope being that he changed tactics to more suicidal means out of desperation. When the Deadly Six were defeated, and the world remained in a dire state, his only reaction was to express relief that there was still something for him to lord over. And although Forces may have glossed over much of his rule, it's clear that it wasn't pleasant for anyone other than himself. Throughout all of this, he rarely brings up Gerald in a consistent manner outside of SA2 and ShtH, and in fact, even in those games, it's pretty clear that he only cares about Gerald's scientific legacy and how that makes him special in the process due to being his grandson. He's never been shown to give a damn about the rest of Gerald as a person, including the philanthropist he was at heart prior to his last days.

Not wanting to destroy the world is not an act of kindness. It's simple logic: he can't conquer something that's not there. And is treating the population to a lifetime of slavery really that softer than a quick and (relatively) painless death? I'm sure TV Tropes would say yes, but what do you think?

He's a self-made man.

Egg Jameson confirmed.

Our horizontally enlightened fiend did not start with a kingdom of his own. He was not a test tube baby who could shoot lasers out of his hands from day one. He was not born a demon, nor did he hail from a bloodline of gods. When he began his path in life of being a furry shamer, he had only his gadgets and tools to work with. Yet, he has managed to carve himself a bountiful list of pro gamer moves over the years despite his mortal human status, including harnessing the Time Eater as mentioned, bringing his dream Eggmanland to life in all its glory, and the engineering marvel that is Metal Sonic... and almost never suffering from financial troubles despite the frequent destruction of his machines at Sonic's hands. (Keep Sonic 4's name out your fuckin' mouth.)

And speaking of that last part, there has been evidence across the series that he has more than one way of ensuring the moolah keeps rolling in. We've seen him set up casinos, carnivals, Extreme Gear companies, newspaper factories, and other facilities to extend his reach. We've seen his robots mine for resources all over the world, and occasionally other worlds. We've seen him own a literal ocean of oil. We've even seen him sell his stripped down robots to chumps who don't know any better. For all his childish ways and penchant for plagiarizing the Death Star, he's surprisingly good at money management.

Then there's his specific approach to scheming and beating Sonic. Winning on its own is never enough for him: he wants to win on his terms, by doing things his way. So he might steal a shiny gem, but he'll use it to power the tech that he made. He might wake up a sleeping beast, but he'll have an Egg Carrier operating alongside it. The doc is always pulling his weight no matter the game, because if he didn't, how could he back up his self-admired intellect without it ringing hollow? You know he wouldn't be having that.

All of this goes a long way to explaining how he grew a knack for being so pro-active as a villain in the present day of the games proper. Instead of having it easy by being born an almighty superbeing, he had to work his way up using nothing but his brain. Because Dr. Eggman is a man with quite a few admirable qualities. Just a shame that morality is not one of them, no matter how much I've been gaslit by fans into believing otherwise.

His ego is his motive.

Don't say it.

As we discussed, for all his manufactured admiration of his late grandad's genius, he doesn't mention him as often across the franchise as fans would lead you to believe. But you know which moustached gentleman he does mention a lot throughout the franchise...?

An overfilled sense of pride is to be expected for a pure villain. Regardless of their motive and their means to fulfill said motives, they're expected to think highly of themselves to some degree. But Eggman is not your everyday egotist: he IS the ego. Many villains have made statues of themselves, but how many do you know who have defaced historical monuments and plastered their visage on them? How many villains do you know who call half of their machines Egg Something? How many villains do you know who make up every single boss in more than one installment?

That's because Eggman's ego isn't just part of his character: it's the source of his drive. Everything he does, everything he wants to do, is fueled by how much he loves himself, and how displeased he is that the rest of the world does not feel the same way. He wants everyone to bow down to his excellence, he wants to conquer the world to satisfy his lust, and even that wouldn't keep him satiated forever, since evidence has shown that he would just make a grab for the whole universe if he got bored. He cannot picture a world where anyone else matters, because they're not him. Over the span of three decades, his inflated self-worth at the cost of everyone else's agency and wellbeing has not diminished one iota, and unless SEGA decides to pander hard to the Eggdad standom, this is not likely to change anytime soon.

Which leads me to my next point...

The consequences are irrelevant to him.

Quote by Billy Mitchell.

Part of the recurring problem with Eggman being woefully mischaracterized as not such a bad guy when you get to know him is because people like to suggest that since he rarely shows outright sadism while committing his evil deeds (except this is also not true; see Tails' story in SA1, or the sheer ecstasy in his tone when he betrayed Emerl's trust in Battle), that means the results that spring from them are more excusable than the likes of Mephiles, Starline, Disney, etc.

Putting aside the fact that he's still willingly committing these deeds to begin with - with no regret at that - let's assume they mean in reference to ordinary citizens and the like. Now maybe it's true that he's not known to dedicate much of his career to making things personal with random nobodies. But let me ask you something: when he declared his intent to destroy Station Square with Chaos so he could build ROBOTNIKLAND THE ULTIMATE CITY WHERE I WILL RULE IT AAAALLLL COME ON CHAOS LET'S FIND ANOTHER EMERALD SHALL WE Eggmanland over its remains... did he say anything about letting the residents evacuate? Did he provide a means to help them evacuate?

What you need to keep in mind is that Eggman showing little interest goes both ways. He doesn't give any thought to these folk period. If his giant mech killed people who were in his way, or he fired a cannon at Whocaresville and the people living there didn't have time to get out of dodge, he's not going to shed a tear and call for a moment of silence. Because, as we've already established, the only person that matters is him. So long as he gets what he wants, and so long as there are still other people out there to worship him, what's the big deal if some kid is now without a parent or a home?

He is not a good master.

"Also, I did create a vaccine. That's what you get for listening to our loving fans who hate us."

Well, at least he shows a more caring side to his creations, right? Sure... if you don't pay any attention to how it plays out onscreen.

My dude is certainly willing to shower his creations with high praise, but what advocates of Good Guy Eggman fail to note is that he praises them because he made them. An achievement for them is an achievement for him, because how would they be so brilliant and competent if it weren't for who built them that way? And you know what else? That praise conveniently only manifests when the creation is doing their job: the moment they fall short of his lofty standards, he flips like a switch. Can it truly be considered sincere and from the heart if he's that willing to turn on them that easily?

Of his many robotic stooges over the years, two that he held in high esteem were the E-Series and Metal Sonic. He made a show of tasking the former with an important mission, and the latter has been recognized repeatedly as one of his crowning masterpieces. And yet, all of the E-Series bar Gamma were discarded and essentially left to fend for themself in an unfamiliar world, with Beta being forcibly modified without a second thought. Gamma was only spared because, you guessed it, he was the one with a victory to his name. As for Metal Sonic, for all his longevity and special treatment, he too is not immune to punishment in the event of failure or disobedience.

And Infinite? His prized right-hand man during his six month conquest? Whisked away without a word after one bruh moment too many, followed by making a point to show off his own mastery over the (real) Phantom Ruby.

Needless to say, this is a stark contrast from the goofy dad you often see in fanart.

His will is equal to Sonic's.

"I'm gonna have to reset, that was a practice run."

Being a regular human does not serve as a limitation for Eggman's status and capabilities, unless you're a hack writer who believes superficial power levels are the instant-win key to a good antagonist, or a well-crafted story in general. On paper, a hedgehog with Sonic's level of power should have dealt with this silly old man once and then never again. That happened with aliens. It happened with gods. It happened with talking ballsacks. Yet Eggman is still around. Despite being subjected to a wide selection of situations that should have Big Oof'd him, with Sonic normally not considering saving him from said perils a high priority, Eggman keeps surviving, and he keeps trucking on.

Why? Because main villain immunity, yes, but compared to Bowser the fire-breathing turtle, and Ganon the occasional boar-shaped demigod, a human scientist managing to persist for as long as he has is still impressive even without the out-of-universe justification. This detail of his character is even incorporated into his boss fights: the Egg Viper battle ends with a kamikaze attack. The Mega Death Egg Robot had a second machine stored inside it, keeping up where the fight left off as the first one conks out. S3&K in its entirety was practically dedicated to his absolute refusal to call it quits.

He doesn't give up. He never gives up. And he's not the type to piss his pants either. When the odds are stacked against him, he will either give it his all with much gnashing of teeth, or he'll retreat because it's the tactically sound thing to do. What he doesn't do is show fear and plead for his life. (Unleashed doesn't count, that was a Wily ploy.)

He hates Sonic.

Or else he wouldn't have made this.

You would think this would go without saying. You have not spent enough time in the Sonic community. I wish I was you. (Then again, I met my friends through it...)

There are many people - many, many, many people - who will vehemently drill into your head with the trustworthy assurance of a SonicTuber that Dr. Eggman, arch-nemesis of Sonic the Hedgehog, world's longest Attempted Sonic Murderer champion, secretly likes the guy deep down, and would never wish for the Blue Blur to actually kick the bucket for good. They claim that when push comes to shove, the old doctor would never fully commit to world domination, because he simply enjoys his bouts with Sonic too much.

For X!Eggman? Probably.

Boom Eggman? Definitely.

Game Eggman? The Eggman? No.

Eggman hates Sonic. Eggman loathes Sonic, and he loathes the rest of his multicolored accomplices just as fiercely. The amount of times he has tried to bust a cap in Sonic's ass is plausibly in the triple digits. He has subjected Sonic to all kinds of threatening, terrifying situations with the explicit purpose of either killing him or hitting him where it hurts. He shows happiness when Sonic is in pain, or has appeared to have been vanquished by his efforts. What about any of this suggests that he likes him? Because of respect?

Now yes, that much is true. It's evident that Eggman respects Sonic as an opponent who can keep up with him, and it's true that he enjoys their battles to an extent. That's not the same thing as actually liking the guy on a personal level. For all the respect he may wield, he would still gladly rid himself of the hedgehog the first chance he gets. Remember the big moment in SA2 in which he launched Sonic into space? He bid his farewell, in a semi-mocking tone, then went right back to business like it was nothing. And what about Forces? What did he plan on doing with Sonic once he got bored of waving his victory in his enemy's face? That's right, he planned on slamming the red button on him. Sorry you had to find out this way, that's what happens when you don't Play The Game.

Ivo Robotnik is a jovial man, but his goals are dead serious. He wants his empire more than anything else in the world, and he will get it. For whatever thrills their encounters may provide, he would piss on Sonic's grave without a moment's hesitation in order to make progress with his ambitions. If he wasn't serious about taking over the world... why the fuck would he do all that he does? Do you really think he spends all that time researching ancient tablets because he wants to be Sonic's friend? Do you think he enslaves alien races because it's not like he likes Sonic or anything baka kawaii desu (please don't unfollow me, I won't do it again)? I don't think so, chum. There'd be no game, and no franchise, if Eggman wasn't coming up with ways to put him in an early grave. And then probably vandalize the grave after.

---

If you understand all of these points, and if you can take to them, then I believe you should have what it takes to write a good, or even great, portrayal of Dr. Ivo "EDP445" Robotnik. No portrayal is going to be one-and-one with that of another, there'll always be subtle distinctions depending on the writer, but you'll be fine as long as he's not a softie or a fool who only exists to be replaced with a gay platypus.

Oh and, one last thing...

Heroes manual lied to you. Sorry, English fandom.

#Get a Load of Traits #Opinion #Dr. Eggman

[mordcore]

oh also it just hit me why queer men *and* incels like anime

anime doesn't have the same toxic gender ideals as mainstream usa media has. probably has different ones but men are allowed to not be performing toxic masculinity and not be immediately troped as creepy perverted weirdo who's weird and freakish about sex and in general (i hate hollywood so much).

there's even a kind of anime trope about a guy whos a big loser and over the course of the story he gets to be cool and badass and maybe even the things that made him a loser inspire his power later on (i'm thinking about SAO right now but only got the abridged version in my head so im not 100% certain kirito is cast as an irl loser in the og sao too but for sure the "likes videogames" is what gives him the advantage).

and the thing about men is that there's two classes of men. the incels call them chads vs virgins or alpha males vs beta males. queer men might call them cishets vs queer people. or privileged men vs opressed men.

the two classes thing is true about women as well btw, mainstream feminists these days will pretend there isn't two classes of women but who got bullied in highschool vs who got bullied is by no means random and it works the same way for men. it's about how gender conforming you are perceived to be. are you "a real woman"/"a real man"? or are you a defective one?

queer man and incels are groups that are very different obviously, but they share the trait of being in the class of "defective men". they can't measure up to toxic masculinity standards because they're gay or they don't even like all that stuff or maybe they do but they just suck at imitating it. the difference is that queer men, once they (we) identify as queer, often learn to embrace this second class as liberating and stop trying to match up to societal standards. same goes for queer "defective women" people and when the freaks from both sides join forces gender roles get thrown in the garbage and only taken out to play with and that's why -- in my personal experience -- among queer folks the gender you are or were or whatever doesn't really set you apart from your peers as much as it does in cishet/ "first class gender" circles. or at all even.

but the incels somehow didn't find that liberation and instead hunkered down in their toxic blackpill communities making each other worse. they know they are defective men and their analysis of gender conformance among men has some good points, but. i don't know maybe they are too authoritarian to even consider that breaking social norms can be a good thing or maybe they're too white and cis-straight to even want to join the same group as the queer freaks or i dont fucking know why someone becomes an incel instead of joining forces with other freaks and lift each other up.

to return to anime. i think it's because anime gives what men from hollywood-poisoned societies can perceive as freedom to be a second class man and still being a person.

anime conventions are strange places, i don't know any other places where so many queer and queerphobic people occupy the same spaces. (anecdotal evidence: all but one queerphobic remarks i've had said to me in public (men's) bathrooms were at anime conventions)

(wip but posting cuz i dont trust drafts)

[giacofmanytrades]

Happy International Asexuality Day! My contribution is just some AJR lyrics, because I'm going to see them this month and a few lines have stuck in my brain for years now:

All of Turning Out i, ii, and iii. Prominently more on the aromantic side, because I'm an aromantic asexual and most of these songs are about questioning how much of our behavior in these relationships are imposed by culture ("I grew up on Disney, "I think I probably wasn't in love with you/I think I probably loved the idea of you", "Oh I'm spiraling now, let's get kids and a house/Though I'm riddled with doubts, is this how we turn out?") You do get lines like "And I can't have sex and we both get quiet/Boy I must be one fucked up guy" from iii that tie the knot with compulsory sexuality, though.

Next Up Forever has "I kinda wish I was still a virgin/Time to finally see what sex is like", referring to the expectation of sex not living up to the real thing. Like Turning Out, this song plays too into the idea that sex is a milestone of growing up that is expected but doesn't match the hype ("I'm a little kid and so are you/Don't you go and grow up before I do" VS "My god, are you growing without me?") Sex is made out to be this urgent badge of adulthood, when it feels like anyone who isn't 100% on board even if they do have it is somehow behind.

Finally, OK Orchestra has 3 O'Clock Things, probably the most blatant riff on sex being not what it's cracked up to be: "And maybe sex is overrated/But we're too shy to ever say it/So we pretend we're all amazing/It's 3 AM, I should be sleeping". It's not subtle and it's in a song that's pretty much just a series of worries about what fans might think of an artist who can let them down (see their song Role Models for another exploration of this theme).

NOTE: THIS IS NOT ME SAYING ADAM, JACK, OR RYAN MET ARE ASEXUAL. Just some lyrics that have lived in my brain for a long time as an asexual aromantic listener. You could honestly make the case that they play in feelings relevant to a lot of aspec folk because of the fact that their songs portray adulthood as confusing, arbitrary, and more complex than we're lead to believe as children. I think it's cool that sex gets a spotlight in some of these songs, and that they're willing to talk about the fact that sexuality has a compulsory pressure that's not great even for allosexuals.

#asexuality #international asexuality day #ajr band #completely just me having a moment to talk a thing i've thought about a while #i've been listening to this band since The Click and it's kept coming up enough over the next four albums that i've had to talk about ittt

[thydungeongal]

Hey friend! Didn't want to clog up your feed with too big a reblog back-and-forth, so I just wanna say I agree with your take! It scans with some of the born-out-of-fear overoptimization I saw from folks years back. Trying to make it so the GM can't hypothetically ruin it for them by making their character as ludicrously strong as possible. Honestly, it makes me wonder how much of the "discourse" in TTRPG tables is folks bringing their hobby-trauma and hobby-dogma to people who have less/more/different trauma/dogma on their end. People always talk about how our emotional baggage from IRL can influence how we play. But I don't see a lot of folks talking about how emotional baggage FROM PLAYING can feed into itself in practice.

...This isn't really an ask, but I'm sending it as one in case you have a take you feel like sharing, with my explicit permission to do so.

Happy Sunday!

I think the idea of hobby dogma and hobby trauma is a part of it, although, in my humble opinion an equally important part is that these sort of exaggerated characters we encounter more through discourse than actual lived experience are more prevalent in stories than real life, and those stories reinforce the idea that these characters are some universal lived experience in the hobby.

Like, that is not to say that "bad" rules lawyer don't exist, but in my more than twenty years of playing I can say that the big bad rules lawyer of character optimizer out to ruin the fun for other players isn't as prevalent as online discourse may make it seem. People tend to exaggerate for various reasons (and this happens on both sides of the discussion: see the most rules lawyery types talking about people whose table culture is more about improvisation as "magical tea parties" or whatever), mostly to garner sympathy for themselves who have been wronged in whatever situation.

But even more important factor causing discourse in my opinion is that... the biggest game on the market, D&D, tries to market itself as the game for everyone and that can support any type of game. It's bound to fuel discourse when you have a rules heavy rules lawyer's dream game with lots of potential for obtuse readings of rules also marketing itself as the game for people who just want to pretend to be elves with their friends.

So D&D's big tent nature very much leads to a situation where you have people who want to play by the rules rubbing shoulders with people who consider the rules a very expensive set of guidelines. A lot of discourse could be made healthier if the illusion of D&D's big tent nature were shattered, but that would actually go against WotC's marketing goals. (This is one of the many ways in which I feel that D&D as a product owned by WotC is actually bad for the hobby as a whole.)

Also thank you for the message! :) I always like getting these and answering them is fun

#long post #thydungeongal answers

[taviokapudding]

Someone asked me why BTS haven't made an official statement and I-

My brothers, sisters, and pals in kpop hell, the SK military and government are besties with the US and Israel. Like SK solders could train in Israel and vice versa if both governments wanted. Also while all 7 are starting or in military service, they'll be monitored by a government who's had beef with them for 10 years and no protection from UN security on top of not being together 24/7 like they've been

Like I genuinely don't blame them for not making individual/a group statement (nor really any SK citizen who identifies as he/him and will do/are doing/just recently finished required military service) for their recent silence (they have like 10 years of making it clear + have a history of doing donations privately that get leaked) given the circumstances; especially after that one bitch pretended to be military medical staff & "vaccinated" Jin. Plus there's like 3+ decades of using SK celebrities being used as scapegoats by the SK government. There's socio-economic & political history around BTS & kpop as a whole that I don't expect locals and 70% of the international kpop community (who really only came about post Gangnam Style) to know because of the SK media propaganda + twitters downfall destroying access to 2 decades of it

Then you gotta remember BTS are a special case because they were invited to the White House to meet genocidal Joe & are still very much hated by the English speaking music industry- whatever they say can cost people across the industry their mf jobs; they, their lawyers, staff, and BH need to be all together & not under mandatory government surveillance to say something at the end of the day- and that's gonna take a while. This isn't a 1:1 situation of untouchable US citizens like Beyoncé, Rihanna, & Taylor Swift who can do stuff freely because of monetary protection & choose not too, SK plays by different rules.

The real question we should all should be asking is which SK celebrities/idols/infulencers have completed their requirements, have no ties to the SK government tourism division's money, and aren't in a unit who must wait for the rest to finish their requirements that are being silent? Those are the folks you should be actively not giving money nor supporting anymore.

I'm calling it now, BTS probably donated a fuck ton in secret like they did BLM and we won't find out until a leak happens or after all of them are done with their military service time.

#mun post #it's a valid question but it's super obvious why certain nations and certain celebrities are being quiet around the world #here in TX you literally can be denied work and i am constantly taking a risk with every tag post and share #and there's rumors the US will implement a law to start monitoring people like they used to right after 9/11 happened to basically track al #pro Palestinian US citizens and inhabitants #and this post doesn't just apply to the guys- this applies to 50% of the sk celebrities unfortunately #it's the they/them and she/her celebrities in SK who haven't said shit or their labels got them unable to say shit that angers me #especially the over 18 ones- most of the famous minors are under management's strict rules and probably can't speak up for safety reasons #i wish the rules on autonomy as celebrities was more like the US but kpop idols in particular got some INSANE SHIT in their contracts #the original big 3 still got a portion of these famous adults in some crippling debt and BH normalized paying 50% - nuance is necessary

[herrscherofmagic]

IMO, the current story arc in HI3rd might just be my favorite one so far. i've got a lot of thoughts to share on it, so I present to you this post! But first, a preamble :)

This is a really long post, I think I used the right tags for this? idk

I'm basically just copying over a post that I made for Reddit, so idk if this is way too long for tumblr or what. I've got a habit of writing pointlessly-long things on Reddit and idk if the Tumblr folks appreciate this or not x-x

but without further ado! my thoughts on the whole "city of salt and sand" story we've got going on right now.

P.S., this is mostly spoiler-free; I don't make any specific references to events in the story, except for Susannah's feelings but even that is really vague so it shouldn't reveal any plot twists or anything like that.

I remember how confusing and awkward it was when I first started playing HI3rd.

I didn't have a clue who any of these characters were, some parts of the story seemed weird, or convoluted, or had no explanation. Over time I caught up through reading the manga and catching up with the story; I looked through past events to figure out the story of the Captainverse; and I've been thinking plenty about the story of HI3rd and the other Hoyo games, trying to piece together different ideas and themes.

With all that in mind, I feel like this story arc has been probably one of the strongest pieces of storytelling in all of HI3rd, and maybe even across all the Hoyo games (that I've played, at least).

I'll make the obligatory disclaimer that yes, sometimes the technobabble gets a bit confusing. Thankfully I can understand a fair bit of it because of some exposure I've had to math and science, but I can't pretend to be at Schrodinger's level.

But I think this chapter did a great job at presenting some of these ideas in a way that felt natural to the progression of the story, while also making it understandable. We might get a statement that makes 0 sense, but you can usually figure out what's going on through context clues, as well as the analogies that some characters have been making.

I think the cast chosen for this arc has also been a huge help. This is probably the single most diverse cast we've had, in terms of personality, behavior, and mindset. Whether it's Kira repressing her "dislike" of Misteln, or the banter between Senti and Seele, there's been a lot of fun moments where these characters aren't all thinking on the same wavelength. Instead they need to find ways to understand each other. It really feels like there's an effort being made by these people to understand the situation they're in, and every step forward or misstep backwards feels meaningful. It's that variety in beliefs and personality that really spices things up and makes it feel so much more lively to me!

Building on that, I've also really enjoyed some of the themes being presented here.

Especially Susannah... oh boy do I have a lot to say here!

I think Susannah's development has been phenomenal (though it's absolutely criminal that a lot of it is limited-time events... THREE events now). In fact, while this isn't quite as serious of a situation, I'd go so far as to say that it's vaguely comparable to Kiana's experience in Arc City.

Yes, the severity is different.

But the thing that made me love Honkai was how we saw Kiana grow very slowly. It was an imperfect journey and it took tremendous effort on her part, but she was able to keep moving forward. Sometimes it felt like Kiana made progress (such as her training with Fu Hua), but this progress masked deeper problems that she couldn't run from (her sacrificial nature). This led to that emotional back-and-forth, where Kiana had real victories and real defeats over time. It wasn't just "The power of friendship!" saving the day in one fell swoop, but instead it felt like a much more realistic take on how difficult it can be to recover from trauma.

Susannah doesn't have to deal with the freakin' Herrscher of the Void inside of her, but her own mind puts up a big fight nonetheless. The more I see Susannah move forward and stumble back time and again, the more I feel a stronger connection with her as a character. For crying out loud, just in the last week or two I've lost count of how many times I've felt like I've been making great strides in my art one day while being a complete emotional train-wreck the next day.

Seeing Susannah breaking down but picking herself back up and moving forward nonetheless... That is why I put so much of my energy towards the idea of storytelling. It's why I play games and obsess over stories and analyze characters and dissect settings and come up with theories and headcanons and fanon and more. Being able to see these characters go through these struggles and seeing how that can relate to my own experience in life is something that has genuinely made me a better person over the years, and might have even saved my life in a way. I want nothing more than to be able to tell stories just like this someday, so that perhaps others might be able to learn and grow from my own stories that I conjure up.

While Susannah is the one I personally relate to the most, I've still been able to appreciate the rest of the cast, too. It's enjoyable to see the way they interact with each other, but I also feel invested in every single person here. There's even a particular someone I've especially grown to love here, but there's leaks and spoilers a-plenty out here in the internet right now so I don't really want to push that subject.

For the sake of keeping this spoiler-free I've been avoiding specifics, but honestly there's just too much for me to talk about even if I wanted to dive right into it. From the setting and stage design, to the character interactions, the development of the plot, the conflicts and resolutions we've had so far, it all just feels so satisfying to me.

I guarantee that there are some objective flaws somewhere in this story arc, and I wouldn't be surprised if others were to start pointing out those flaws. But I'm still enjoying the story, so even if I can't say "This is an objectively great story", I can still say "This is a story I love", and that's good enough for me~ ^_^

#honkai impact 3rd #long post #really long post #text heavy #i hope these tags are enough to make it clear that this is a really long post at least by tumblr standards i think?

[royalwilmon]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

thank you so so much for tagging me @skibasyndrome <3333333

do you make your bed?

almost never. like, when i wash my sheets, and then never again. cant be bothered!!!

what's your favourite number?

i dont really have one but ive been saying 36 for yearssss. from the glee days. iykyk

what is your job?

im a software tester!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

you couldn't pay me to

can you parallel park?

i mean. technically. i avoid it at all costs and if there is someone behind me witnessing me parallel park i will Fully Panic. but i can do it. mostly.

a job you had that would surprise people?

i worked at dunkin' donuts for three years. which isn't surprising, i live in new england. what does surprise people is when i talk about how much i genuinely loved that job and miss it Every Day

do you think aliens are real?

i guess i definitely think there are other life forms out there. hard to say what they'd be like, though

can you drive a manual car?

nah, i've never tried. don't have much of a reason to!

what's your guilty pleasure?

lmaooooo gut instinct is to say jimmy buffett. my spotify wrapped this year is going to be WILD

tattoos?

not yet! once i find an artist i trust, I'm going to get the comet chandelier

favorite color?

blue! i describe the shade as the darkest shade of blue the sky gets

favorite type of music?

my taste of music is absolutely all over the place, this is nearly an impossible question for me to answer. i have a lot of specific pockets of interest. i love anything that came out of laurel canyon -- really, a lot of 70s music i picked up from my dad. obviously i fuck with showtunes big time. and then lately i have a handful of artists im obsessed with that float somewhere in the indie/pop/jazz/folk world. like, so vague, i just cant say any sorta word that would sum it up. oh, also, omar?? seriously, i'm all over the place

do you like puzzles?

yeah! my sister loves them more than i do so i mostly only do them when I'm hanging out with her

any phobias?

birds!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate them!!!!!!!! im so afraid!!!!!!!!!!! so so so scared!!!!!

favorite childhood sport?

i played softball and basketball as a kid, but like. ehhhhhhhh.

do you talk to yourself?

oh, always. look, i work from home most of the time, and my roommates have very different schedules from mine so im home alone a LOT. i like to keep myself company. i am alwayssss chattering to myself. 100% of the time, just nonsense babble

what movies do you adore?

ohhhhh tricky question. i'll pretend im doing one of those letterboxd interviews and I'll give you my top four. fried green tomatoes (1991), camelot (1967), dirty dancing (1987), and everything everywhere all at once (2022)

coffee or tea?

coffee! like i said, i worked at dunks for three years. I'm one of those maniacs that drinks black coffee. i wish i liked tea, i really do, i just. dont

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

HAHA i don't know if it was the first but the story my mom always tells is how i wanted to be a cake decorator at Walmart. specifically walmart. she would encourage me to aim higher, like. 'why don't you be a cake decorator at the white house or something', but no. walmart. i was probably, like. five.

Onward tagging: idk!!!!!!!! im always late to these!!!!!! @goldenwilmon if you haven't done it yet??

#tag game

[transzilla]

On modern art

Art isn't really any material thing, it's more like our behavior, our reaction, what we do to make art possible. There's a time and a place for a banana taped to a wall, sure, like on your mom's fridge. When you're taking up space at an art museum and people are pissed because it looks like shit, sure, it's art alright, you made it. So is anything. you can be pretentious and act like they don't get it all you want but art is the participation. Like you're under fire too, if your expression is tasteless and crass you kind of asked for it showing people, you can embrace it or cry about it. If you tried and put effort I'd feel bad and give encouragement but drawing one line over the middle of a canvas... You see the same exact shit everyone else is seeing, you're not fooling anyone putting it in a fancy museum. You're not Michelangelo. So don't pretend like you are.

Michelangelo's David is a fucking rock that looks like a person. So what. I pulled a carrot out of the ground and it had two legs and a dick and nobody cared. People lose their fucking minds because of the skill and dedication that a person put into it, his whole life spent mastering different arts on different materials, banging his head against the wall against rejection because he wanted to impress people. And he did! Love is real! Progress is real! He did it!

There's a time and a place for making shitty art! Shitty art can be respected, it can be understood. We all start out like shit. Nobody should rip you down for making shitty art, maybe you're just doing it for fun, maybe you don't want to be Michelangelo, you're just trying to make it through the day and that's fine. But shitty art shouldn't be honored. Especially, above anything, if the intention is what's shit. If the message is trash, if a piece of shit person made it, the art is trash too, maybe you're trash for enjoying it. Like stop sucking Kubrick's dick, he's not a "twisted genius", he's a misogynist that loves rape scenes. Criticism is necessary here.

Plus, you shouldn't celebrate shitty art for being shit. Like I know all ya'll trans people love folk punk, they all say the same thing, I like it because it's bad, that's the point. How the hell are you going to be so pretentious and gatekeepy over music that you admit is dog shit? Bad music is awesome when you're down to earth and you're making friends and getting better together, observing and celebrating progress and community. You compete in a race where you make the most mediocre music, you're going to win, real fast. Folk punk isn't even bad in a way that's so bad it's really funny, some music I'm impressed because it resembles music but it's so offensive and obnoxious that it really isn't. Nah, it's the same shit over and over cause if it doesn't sound exactly like this it's not folk punk, the same ukelele riff and talking about having anxiety. If you're gonna be an egotistical city boy hipster and act like your shit is so much better because it's mediocre, the first person interested in skill and progress is gonna eat you up like nobody's business.

But hey, at least you're not pretending like you're not mediocre. It's a huge risk trying to find skill and make good art. If you shoot for the moon, and land in a huge pile of shit, it hurts that much more than if you just wanted to jump and play in that pile of shit. Sure, you can embrace shit. Play in it all you want. Maybe eat some of it. But are you really that wrong for wanting to land among the stars?

Our ultimate expression of art is our identities and our ego. We make it all up. The art is the artist, it's also the people observing. So what the hell kind of shit are you going to make?

#forcemasc #i hate folk punk #you call it folk punk i call it SHIT because its ASS

[just-another-frender-blog]

Out of curiosity, how would you say that Bender deconstructs toxic masculinity and robot tropes? 🤔 Bender having a "normal" human voice definitely applies to the second one. It was a brilliant decision because his character wouldn't have worked if he droned on like a typical robot.

This is a great question, thank you for asking it!

I want to preface this by saying that my interpretations regarding Futurama are unique to me. They stem from my love of critical analysis of fiction, and I really love overthinking fiction (my parents think I'm annoying af for this). I also think that all forms of interpretations of fiction are important and that I don't think my interpretations are canon or factual. They're just how I perceive the show and these characters.

Before I watched Futurama, I thought I would hate Bender. I usually don't like characters like Bender very much; I had this idea that he was nothing more than this stereotypical asshole. The only thing I knew about him was that he threw his son into Hell without hesitation and that alt-right people on Twitter use him for memes. When I actually started watching, I was really impressed because even though he is an asshole, the show takes great lengths to emphasize that he genuinely cares about people other than himself.

Bender works so well for me because he's so evil and awful, which is exaggerated to a comedic effect. He really doesn't have a lot of redeeming qualities, but he does have his friendship with Fry, and to a lesser extent, Leela. And his friendship with Fry is not only very genuine and played very straight, but it avoids a lot of "no homo" ideas I grew up with in fiction and irl. They're physically affectionate with one another on-screen, and they even say "I love you" verbatim (Bender says it twice).

Bender also goes out of his way to better himself for Fry or to help Fry, which isn't something he does for anyone. They confirm that Fry is the only person Bender cares about more than himself, and is the only person Bender would die for in the CC era. I don't often see this type of affection displayed in a canonically platonic male relationship, and I didn't expect this from a show that came out in 1999. And I really didn't expect this from a character like Bender, who's supposed to be the face of adult cartoon edginess.

There are quite a few hints that Bender has a more feminine side to him. He likes feminine things and he likes talking to Leela about her love life. He's incredibly sensitive and secretly cares for animals and children, despite claiming to hate them so much. But Bender has this tough guy, asshole persona he pretends to keep up, so he seems to be in denial about this side of himself. The infamous episode "Bend Her" (which I have mixed feelings about) provides a lot of evidence for this interpretation.

Now I'm really going to get into why I love Bender so much as a robot character, and why I think he subverts so many robot tropes. The show often jokes about how he's an emotionless, soulless machine, but he is the most emotional character by far. He's extremely needy, he's oversensitive, easily gets his feelings hurt, wants Fry and Leela's approval/attention, etc. I think he resents humanity because he's just as emotional as a normal human, but his emotions are constantly dismissed because he's a robot. We see this in episodes like "Obsoletely Fabulous," and "Beast With a Billion Backs."

Another thing I really adore about Bender is that he's a robot but he's dumb. He's all emotion and no logic. He's also super artistic. He has a lot of hobbies like cooking, folk singing, songwriting, and photography. And not only that, he's really pretentious about his hobbies. He gets into arguments with people about "real art" and he uses darkroom equipment for photography (even though he has a built-in camera... Bender is a very charming character lol). He's not programmed to have all these hobbies, he's not programmed to be best friends with Fry, he does it because he wants to do it.

Needless to say, Bender is probably my favorite robot character of all time other than Octus from Sym-Bionic Titan. There really is more to him than he appears on the surface. And kudos to the Futurama writers to make a robot character feel so human while simultaneously still having him deal with his struggles as a robot. I hope this answers your question about why I think he subverts traditional masculinity and robot tropes. And I apologize for writing you an essay; I had a lot to say!

#futurama #asks #bender bending rodriguez #long post #i could honestly go on longer #but the post was getting way too long already

[kaleidiope]

Something that I've been stumbling upon recently, and I love, is drawings of people who unapologetically look human And, like, I love them?? Unreasonably so! Like, alright so, something about me is that I love seeing pores on people. When someone has lil' dents and stuff that isn't being concealed by products, 'cause we all have pores, and when I see an actor or something play a role where having perfect skin would be a little weird and their pores are shown, it's so pretty?? I love visible pores, little facial lines and imperfections, veins under their eyes, bags under ones eyes, uneven colors, creases when they smile and laugh, brows with little hairs sticking out not being perfect, beards with hairs that aren't following suit perfectly, peach fuzz on their faces, I just love when humans look human I've been seeing drawing with folks who have some hair around their bikini line, and stretch marks by their tummies, of which aren't flat. You have skin, you have hair, you have some body fat, that is normal and is beautiful! Those veins and tendons in your hands are beautiful! Having a tummy is beautiful! Having marks and dents, divots and lines, color variation and imperfections in your skin is beautiful! Having some fat in your face, a non-chiseled jaw, is beautiful! Having off-white teeth is beautiful, your bones don't look like pearls after all, and even then real pearls aren't pure white! Real pearls aren't fully round or a solid color, they are perfectly imperfect! Having your scalp show through your hair is beautiful! Having hair in places besides your scalp is beautiful! Being human is beautiful and I'm tired of pretending, of being told, it's not!! You're so beautiful, the real you is beautiful <3

#I love those who live #this world is cruel evil and dark #But I will find beauty in all #Even if such kills #Society is ugly humans are gorgeous #Be unapologetically human have humanity and live your life in a way where you love it #You deserve to love this life #positivity

[theautismgoblin]

Okay more rant time, so I've noticed the ASD community has again decided to grab something by the Figurative strings for dear life (The Amazing Digital Circus) which has happened quite a few times in the last two years, with it happening a total of like four times at this point in that timespan. Anywho, I think I know why, it's something I've been running through my head for a few weeks. So I think I'll explain, it's the isolation and confinement factor. What do I mean, let's take a look at all the fandoms I'm talking about

First is The Amazing Digital Circus, where the characters are all effectively isolated from the outside world, and trapped there.

Next, is Welcome Home. Now this one is depending on the theory people have, since it affects how you view the main character, Wally Darling. If you believe the isolation theory (where Wally is trapped and alone inside Home, and is using the restoration project to try to escape). But the same concept exists, trapped and isolated and alone .

Third, is DHMIS I don't even need to explain this one. But I will, all three puppets are trapped inside the house, and each of them is also isolated from others, only having each other to rely on.

Finally The Stanley Parable, once again, Stanley and The Narrator are literally trapped in the Parable. They are isolated from anyone other than each other, with them sometimes isolating themselves completely (like the not real ending, or the escape ending, the skip button ending, just all of it)

Now what does this have to do with autism, wellllll, a lot actually. Now this is just from my own experiences so it doesn't fit every one, but I know that it applies to plenty of autistic folks, but many folks with ASD have been isolated from our peers throughout our lives, even if we could mask really well. We were picked on, when we ranted or talked, we immediately got weird looks. So many of us got ostracized from social groups, hell sometimes we isolated ourselves by hiding in our rooms or closets to get away from others. And then the trapped factor. This is another one, many of us have felt trapped in our own lives (yes it sucks). We had to play pretend with everyone, just to not get isolated and even that didn't work (but the kicker, was it was hard to stop masking). Many of us got forced to sit still, the touch or eat things that hurt, to drain our social batteries for gatherings. And when you're a kid, which is where most of the trauma comes in, you got little to no say in what you and your family did. I know on multiple occasions I was forced to go to festivals I didn't want to go to, and was exhausted when I got home (yet still expected to clean afterwards sometimes, depended on the day though)..

Anyways, this sore of sympathy and empathy I think extended very specifically to characters even more than where their from. In most of these case the main premise has the idea already there (with the exception of Welcome Home, though their puppets so that absolutely plays a factor), but there are plenty of characters who are isolated or trapped in their respective media, like The lonely Wizard, Goobert, P03 (look I have seen multiple people call P03 out, and you can't tell me you don't love Goobert or Lonely Wizard). Chara and W.D. Gaster was another one, Gaster makes sense, and Chara is only heard by one person (the player) so yeah isolation. You also have Suns and Moon again they are stuck in the daycare (Moon's iffy, but Sun's definitely there). Bill Cipher was another one, I think not sure about him (could just be my bias)

And the best part, the majority of these characters are also viewed as having ASD or ADHD, which those two things go together too well, which adds to the empathy even more. But I do want to point out that what I just stated isn't a requirement at all, but it does help.

#the amazing digital circus #tdac #welcome home #dhmis #tsp #dont hug me im scared #the stanley parable #the stanley parable narrator #autism #fnaf #analysis #wally darling #isolation #trapped

[grineerios]

Insomnia won and I got around to writing things down about my Operator and Drifter instead of just letting my thoughts do laps of my brain. So uh. Long-ass backstories, I guess?

I do have memory loss so I'm not entirely sure how canon-compliant this is, but I guess there's no harm with a few tweaks if I had fun doing it lmao

New War/Duviri Paradox/Main Story quests spoilers(?)

(I do not have names for these nerds, but I'll update whenever I figure that bit out. I've debated calling them Sigma (O) and Lavan (D) after railjack parts, but it just doesn't suit them. I guess only time will tell)

Both Operator and Drifter are He/They, and AroAce. I haven't figured out their gender(s) yet, because gender is hard.

THE DRIFTER

Drifter is a very different man when interacting with Duviri and the Operator, versus everyone else. To most of the world, he's a stubborn individual with a streak of having a short temper. His seemingly obsessive need to have some kind of control can easily get on folks' nerves, making him a hard person to work with. Occasionally, though, one can see a small glimmer of the man behind the persona.

When it comes to Duviri, as well as with The Operator and other children, a laid-back, almost jovial man emerges. He has a very strong "what happens, happens" philosophy. When faced with adversity, he mocks it. When faced with hardship, he pushes through with a stiff upper lip. When faced with loss, he waves his hand dismissively.

But this isn't the full truth either.

In reality, The Drifter is an extremely anxious person with a desperate need to protect The Operator, especially after the events of The New War. This manifests as him flip-flopping between letting the Operator do what they want, and needing to control and have a say in everything the Operator does.

When in Duviri, this anxiety manifested slowly over time, starting with the Void's subconscious influence on Duviri. The landscape's shape was the first to change, next the sky turned to Void-like clouds, followed by the fracturing point- the Zariman itself appearing in the sky.

Up until this point, the Drifter was a mere side character in Duviri's story, a manifestation of an unimportant and uneventful life far away from the horrors of 10-0. Primarily, he was a Tammherd, moving flocks across Duviri's verdant islands, even as the Void's influence poked and prodded at the memories he'd repressed.

After the 10-0 appeared in the sky, however...

Everything changed. No longer could he pretend that things were well, that the Void-spirals didn't poke at his mind, that the Void-forsaken ship wasn't real, that Duviri was all he'd ever known.

As his anxiety grew, Dominus Thrax became more and more maniacal, pushing new laws and standards that began crushing at Drifter's soul and personality, hardening him into apathy after being hunted again and again for seemingly infinity.

Long forgotten were the days of falling asleep under the stars, having nothing but a Tamm for a pillow- no, now his days were split between the void-contaminated Zariman and being hunted and executed by Thrax. The songs of Void Angels and the scream of arrows and blades set the soundtrack for his life, replacing the shawzin music he'd formerly enjoyed playing.

No matter how Thrax decided to execute him that day, he'd always wake up, lost in the world foreign to him of the Zariman, a horrifying feeling tugging at his mind as he wandered the halls, confused and lost. But.. he'd always find his way back to Duviri. Through a vent, a door, a mirror, or a broken screen- it didn't matter. He always found his way back into his personal hell away from hell, doomed to live in his damned loop forever.

On one of these loops, before Teshin beats into their thick skull that yes, you can just leave this situation dumbass, while stuck in the Zariman, he was injured by either a void-touched item or a Void Angel. Throughout subsequent spirals, void crystals began to grow from the wound. And it hurt like a bitch. If he'd ever let you look at the wound- or the scar, as it presents itself in the Origin System, you might faintly see the curled spikes, if you squinted, as they're mysteriously mostly invisible when exposed to direct and indirect sunlight. Under artificial light, they're slightly more visible, but the Drifter intentionally wears clothes with baggy sleeves so as not to worry The Operator. Regardless of where he is, undercroft or origin system alike, the crystals feel like it buries itself deeper and deeper into his flesh when he uses transference.

We all know how the story ends. With the help of Teshin, the Drifter finally Gets A Fucking Grip On Things and is able to voluntarily exit and enter Duviri at their leisure. The only real difference is that instead of Lotus' hand granting the Drifter Transference, it's his void injury that allows for weak Transference within the Undercroft. He must make physical contact with a Warframe to transfer into it, even after his Void abilities are strengthened in the New War.

THE BEFORE

Before the void-jump incident, and before Eternalism made the Operator and the Drifter, there was the Before.

The Before was an isolated and distractable child. He didn't do well at school, often losing himself in thought and awe over whatever was outside the nearest window. His parents were botanists and agricultural specialists who helped to tend to and monitor the Zariman's agricultural biomes. Sometimes, much to his parents' frustration, he'd skip school to watch them work. They often would joke that they wished he'd pick a normal activity to skip school over, like Lunaro.

Although he did eventually pick up Lunaro and tried to learn shawzin, he never was far from the agri-zones if he could help it. There was something that pushed away his fears. Besides, if these plants could grow here, then who was to say he couldn't thrive cultivating life in Tau?

Aaaaand then the void jump incident happened.

Of course he wasn't paying attention when it happened. He was wayy too distracted by all the amazing colors in Saturn's rings. Melica's words all sounded like the same stuff he'd hear her say after day. Blah blah blah Entrati this Golden Masters that and who could forget the Seven? Drivel. Meaningless drivel. It mattered a lot to the adults but not to him at all.

The jump hit him like a truck, when the force knocked him out of his seat, and when beautiful Saturn was replaced with the eerie, wispy void. That's when he felt fear nag at him.

In the time before Wally made their deal with him, he somehow managed to get a grip on his emotions and channeled that fear into taking control of the situation, despite shaking the entire time he was checking in on folks. He buried his emotions, focusing on the new drive in his heart, to protect the others. Even if he was a little... Blunt. Or rude. Or aggressive about the whole thing. No matter how hard you try to hide intense emotions, they'll bubble out somehow, and I doubt the Void helped with that very much. But, his practical and stubborn mind kept most of the kids he was with safe- until the Orokin dubbed them Tenno for the Operator, or until he decided to go search for more survivors alone in the Zariman, wandering the vents while the others were found and taken away; Left behind, becoming the Drifter.

I don't think the Drifter ever forgave himself for letting that happen. Even if it was because Wally twisted words.

THE OPERATOR

In the present, the Operator is less angry, and less socially isolated than the Drifter. What they lack in comparison to the Drifter's temper and isolationist tendencies, they make up for in flippancy and spite.

He took well to transference, and his training as a Tenno under the Orokin empire gave him a sense of purpose. He'd protected his kind on board the Zariman, and he'd continue to protect them even now. With the help of his warframe, a Volt, he'd stand by their sides, and ensure everyone made it out alive. They were his Tenno fellows. His Clan.

As time went on though, his faith in the Orokin evaporated, as he saw how little they actually cared about his friends and himself. Vowing to never trust Orokin word again, he relished the Night of Naga Drums, when he finally got to strike back at the Orokin for their foul play.

His distrust of the Orokin carried over from Margulis to the Lotus, instead, looking up to the Dax remaining after the fall of the Orokin empire, knowing that they too had likely been manipulated and used by their Golden Masters.

Even knowing he'd been hurt and exploited by the Orokin, he had (and still has) a hard time seeing himself as anything but an Orokin weapon, the confusion and intensity of which only became more overwhelming after awakening from the Second Dream.

Things only got worse from there, really. His distrust of Lotus burned into outright hatred and he isolated himself from his fellow Tenno, occasionally doing mercenary work for syndicates like the Arbiters of Hexis and Steel Meridian. What purpose the Lotus had offered, he rejected, leaving him with a void in his life. Depression set in, and all he could do was wait for purpose to find him.

THE PRESENT

(My memory is fuzzy on details of The New War, so I'll need to replay it before getting into specifics about what Drifter and Operator were doing at the time. but.)

In the aftermath of the New War, the Operator has brought himself to understand that Lotus too was manipulated by Orokin power. This doesn't completely nullify his feelings, but does certainly mellow them out a bit more, to the point that he willingly participates in Tenno culture once more.

Drifter and Operator are working together, although Drifter insists on doing most Tenno missions, saying that the Operator should "catch up on being a kid" while they have the chance. This of course, does not help the Operator who desperately needs to get out and do things, as they're prone to going stir-crazy if they can't do anything for even short periods of time.

Despite having the transference circuits damaged in the Old War, the Operator almost exclusively uses his Volt, who's probably the closest thing he has to a best friend post-New War.

In the times when he chooses to, or is forced to use transference, the Drifter uses primarily an Oberon, followed closely by a Kullervo and Excalibur Umbra, the latter being an ideal choice as he doesn't require transference to be useful.

TL;DR

My Drifter is typically stoic with a hotheaded streak and a tendency for intimidation as the solution to problems. This, of course, is all fueled by a desperate need to protect people, and keep the Operator above all, safe. He's kind at heart, but it's a side rarely seen by anyone other than children or animals.

My Operator is an immature ball of spite, nigh-dependent on other people for his purpose in life. He shares Drifter's anger and aggression, but it's tempered with a strong sense of justice. He's deeply bonded to his Warframe, and the two are nigh-inseparable. Has an insatiable thirst for action, and is high-energy.

Both of them desperately need therapy and ADHD meds.

#warframe #personal oc lore #grineerios drifter #grineerios operator #all of this Subject To Change (tm) of course #im very sleep deprived i'll fix any glaring lore errors or typos when i wake up #long post