#I'm starting to think it may have been all the garlic

[renaissanceramblings]

All I ask is anything with M!Kylar- anything at all. I'm totally not obsessed with him or anything that would be crazy ahahaha totally don't want to hold him in a storage closet and milk him dry as I kiss his tears away

yas queen slay

I made this more of a reverse comfort + sex thing bc I need it soz

M!Kylar x AFAB!Reader

~+~

Taking Kylar to the mall was the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever done.

Godfuck, you knew he wasn’t popular, and you especially knew that your classmates weren’t kind, but you were never expecting to be in a situation like this.

Walking home quietly with his hand in yours, pretending not to notice his poorly concealed sobs and teary face.

The cruelty of the town you live in is always there, but sometimes it’s a bit easier to forget and pretend things are okay. Sometimes it’s a little easier to think that things can be good and kind.

But then you see people talking about Kylar, and prodding and poking at his every insecurity, every failure, every unsavory moment he’s ever had until he’s breaking down in public and people are looking at him as if he’s the weird one for it.

So here you are, at the door of his house pulling fucking garlic necklaces out of your bag so you aren’t torn apart by your lover’s parents while said lover is still choking on his tears.

It isn’t until you get to his room and you’re both sitting in his bed, still in silence (silence in the asylum, no one but yourself. too quiet so quiet make it stop make it stop make it stop-) that you decide to look at him.

His mouth is trembling, forced into a line to presumably hold back his cries. His face is stained with tear tracks, and his brows are furrowed, eyes red and watery and still spilling tears.

It breaks your heart.

Your hands cup his face, thumbs pressing into the skin of his cheekbones and rubbing soft, soothing circles into his skin. You look at him with a pitying, gentle glance.

“Oh, baby.”

And Kylar breaks.

Because everyone in this godforsaken place is vile, and you are his only salvation. Because everyone here is hard, and cracked around the edges, and you are gentle and soft. Because here, where he is safe, the rest of the town is outside, and you are here, with him.

He’s leaning into you, hanging onto you like a lifeline, and it’s all you can do to keep yourself from crying, too. (How long has it been since someone has held you without intent to hurt? How long since someone besides Kylar had held you so gently? Lovingly? Adoringly?)

You don’t realize you’re crying too until Kylar looks at your face and starts crying harder, at which point you’re both messes.

You hold each other with the kind of tenderness that only two broken people an possess, and you’re not sure whether to be grateful for this connection or mourn what had to be done to he two of you to achieve it.

“I love you.” You’re not sure who said it.

“Love you, love you, love you, love youloveyou-“

Your lips smash into his and there is no more words, only the desperate whines and pants of your lover and yourself.

Your legs come up on either side of him, straddling him and grinding down. His hips buck against yours wildly and his hands bruise you in his tight hold, but you can’t bring yourself to mind. (You are each other’s beginning, and you will make sure he is your end.)

Kylar lets out a moan against your lips—you swallow it greedily. Your hands tear at each other’s clothes and caress the skin underneath.

He removes himself from against your lips to mouth at your tits, your hands finding a home in his hair as your cunt drools against his thick cock pressed up against you.

“Kyla-ahn!”

He flips you over; desperate, frenzied, frantic, licking and biting like a man starved. He sucks bruises onto your skin with a passion, thinking of you all pretty on his cock, marked up as his, his, his. You’re moaning and writhing against him and Kylar thinks that the events of today may have been worth it, if he gets to see you underneath him like this.

Pressed flush against your skin, he thinks he’s going insane. (He thinks he already is.) “Let me fuck you, please let me fuck you, please please please-“

With lidded eyes, you look up at him.

“Fuck me, Kylar.”

And that’s all he needs.

One second you’re making eye contact and the next your head is thrown back as your cunt clenches around him.

God, he’s so big. No matter how many times you fuck, he always manages to force the breath from your lungs with the stretch that follows.

You feel like you’re breaking apart, he’s tearing you into two. And still, you want more, more, more. (More of his love, more of his devotion, more of his absolute worship of all things you. He’s going to ruin you for anyone who isn’t him again and you can’t fucking wait.)

His head is forced in the space between your neck and shoulders, drooling and babbling about how you’re his, and no one else’s. About how if someone tries to get in the way he’ll fucking end them and their entire bloodline, because he loves you. All the while he is rutting into you like an animal, grinding against your cunt as you swallow him whole.

He is frantic. You are desperate. Only one thought pervades your minds. You were made for each other. (A match made in hell. Pray that no soul is unfortunate enough to attempt to come between you.)

You are sent over the edge, spasming and shaking, moaning like a whore. Kylar soon follows.

You are filled up, hot and thick cum painting your walls white as his cock twitches and jumps within you. You hope he’ll never leave you.

Heavy breaths fill the room. He lifts his head up and leans it against yours. The two of you are sweaty and exhausted.

You look at each other, and a single word reverberates throughout the room.

“Mine.”

(You’re not sure who said it.)

#dol x reader #kylar the loner x reader #degrees of lewdity x reader #kylar the loner #dol #kylar dol #dol kylar #degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity kylar #kylar x reader #kylar the loner dol

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/17/24 Daily OFMD Recap

== Nathan Foad ==

More pictures of Nathan in Love's Labours Lost!

== Kay Buchanan ==

Our friendly neighborhood OFMD Master Leather Worker has more pictures for us! This time, maybe Black Pete's bag? Anyone know off hand?

SRC: Kay Buchanan's IG

== Taika ==

So these pictures are adorable, but be warned of a potential jump scare if you watch the rest of the video-- thank you @ofmd-ann for the awesome stills, I did NOT want to put the full video on here xD See her post here.

(via Ritas tiktok)

== Lesley Fucking Jones ==

== Vico Ortiz ==

Sneaky shot of Vico from behind <3 Img Src: @enbybruje's IG

== Dominic Burgess ==

Technically this would be Cats & Crew but I'll allow it because Dominic is such a friggn adorable cat dad and he deserves so much love for that.

Src: Dominic's Twitter

== Watch Parties ==

= Flight of the Conchords =

Bit of an adjustment at least on the RhysDarbyFaction discord server for FotC watch party, we'll be watching 3 episodes a piece Thursday and Friday so as not to run into the next week. Continues tomorrow with episodes 5, 6, 7, of season 2 at 4pm PT / 7 pm ET / 11pm BST

#FlagOfTheConchords

#OurFlagMeansDeath

= Palm Royal Season 1 =

A new watch party hosted by @lcwebsxoxo on twitter is up and running! Thursday Episodes 3 and 4 will be playing at 1 pm PT / 4 pm ET / 9 pm BST

#PalmRoyale

#OurFlagMeansDeath

#SaveOFMD

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Tonight's cast card features the other fisherman (Pedro Lope) that Stede robbed on his first "raid". We're gonna have a whole set of cards soon I can feel it @melvisik, thank you for these!

= TealOranges & Garlic Soup Week 2024!! =

Prompts are up for this years TealOranges & Garlic Soup Prompt Week! The week will run June 23-29, 2024 with themes and prompts for each day! This prompt week celebrates all things Jim/Oluwande and Archie/Jim/Oluwande/Zheng!

Plain Text for Prompts

Additional Information & FAQ

This Years AO3

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies-- I've had 3 hrs sleep today so the words on the screen are starting to run together. I'm still getting love notes from yesterdays request, and thank you so much, I promise i'm catching up to the messages, you all are the best crew someone could ask for. Thank you for spreading some joy in this crazy ass world.

Tonight I would like to send a reminder that we have not lost OFMD, as so many of said, we still have 2 wonderful seasons, and those boyfriends are currently boinking their way into oblivion in their inn, making their poor customers insane. But beyond that... had a discussion today with multiple dear friends / crewmates that made me feel a lot better about the whole thing too. I know it's months in the gravy basket now, but this is not the end for OFMD. Chaos Dad told us it was over, but in all honesty it still doesn't feel over. WBD is driving itself into the ground, Dad's been off at the WBD lot, it feels like things are moving in a better direction again. It may not be today, or tomorrow, or even the next few months, or a year or so, but I think we still have a chance to see the ending of our story.

And we've all said it before, but it bears repeating, even if it never happens, we get to make it happen. Stede and Ed live on in all our crazy ranges of work out there, that so many of you have been just CRANKING out lately, I've been astonished at how much new work I've seen from folks in the the fandom I know, and new folks I haven't met! It's so inspiring to see OFMD affect people so much that they felt they could put little pieces of themselves out into the world through art of all mediums.

I hope I'm making sense at this point.. if not, sorry about that! But know-- there's always hope. There's always S1 and S2, and the infinite universes we get to dream up from those two.

Rest Well lovelies. Img Src: @Chucklesandbleu on IG

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's theme - Bowties!

Gifs Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome and @sam-reid!

#daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #taika waititi #kay buchanan #nathan foad #vico ortiz #dominic burgess #ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #long live ofmd #adopt our crew

[the-guilty-writer]

Can I ask a garcia daughter where Derek and her have close relationship much like his and garlic, and just cute moments between them

I think this works better as headcanons so here you go!

Penelope had always wanted to do more to help children who had lost their parents as she had and she decided that becoming a foster mom would be the best thing she could do to help.

You were 10 years old and your parents had been victims on a case that the team was working.

It was a local case and you were brought in to be interviewed.

A social worker was supposed to be there to pick you up, but they were running late and the team had to spread out to different places so Garcia volunteered to watch you.

She brought you to her lair and shared all her fun fuzzy pens and figurines with you.

After a few hours the social worker finally showed up but you refused to leave Garcia's side.

"I'm actually a foster parent. I'd be happy to have her until she settles down." "Thank you. As soon as we find her a long-term placement I will let you know."

Garcia ended up being your long-term placement.

She adopted you not long after that.

Hotch gave her lots of time off so she could be home to help you adjust, but sometimes she had to bring you to work with her.

The team didn't mind one bit. they loved having you around.

Of course you liked all of them.

But it was no secret that Derek was your favorite.

He was the first person you always hugged when Garcia brought you to work.

If Garcia was busy you would sit on his lap while he went over files (telling you to close your eyes so you didn't see any crime scene photos of course).

And at the end of a long day when you were exhausted from running around the bullpen he would carry you to the car and be super careful not to wake you up.

At school some kids made fun of you for your parents being dead and only having a mom now and no dad.

When Penelope told him he was furious.

So for career day he went instead of Garcia and he pulled out all the stops- FBI kevlar vest, hand-to-hand demonstration, cool stories about catching bad guys (leaving out the not so kid friendly parts of course), etc.

And the kids stopped making fun of you because you obviously had the coolest uncle in the whole world plus he can arrest people, has handcuffs, and carries a gun.

He took you to the dad and daughter dance too.

When you get into a sport he coaches you.

As long as he isn't away on a case he would never miss a game/meet.

You always perform better when he's there beforehand to give you a peptalk.

He was halfway across the country right before championships and he knew he wasn't going to make it so he slipped away for five minutes to call you.

"I'm always with you, little baby girl. You can do this."

The photo of you holding up your champion trophy/metal sits on his desk.

Garcia is baby girl and you're little baby girl even if you get taller than her when you start to grow.

He got you guys tee shirts with your nicknames on them.

The older you got and the more you could understand things the more inside jokes you would have.

When you go on your first date Derek pulls the big scary FBI agent dad act and Garcia has to tell him to chill.

And when you have your first heartbreak he doesn't get angry and want revenge for you. He just holds you while you cry and tells you that it's going to be okay.

Penelope on the other hand absolutely makes that person's life a living hell for a few days by inconviniencing them online in anyway possible.

She may or may not have changed the passwords to all their social media accounts and signs them up for every spam email possible.

He helps move you into your dorm room/first apartment at college.

When it was time to leave he cried more than Penelope.

She had to be the driver home because he couldn't keep it together.

"my dear chocolate thunder, she's only a two hour drive away. She can visit on the weekends."

When you've been dating someone for a while and you bring them home you know Garcia will love them, but you really hope that Derek doesn't scare them off.

He doesn't.

A few years later when they want to propose they know they need his blessing too.

He cries when he walks you down the isle.

He cries during the dad daughter dance too.

"I don't care how old you get, you'll always be my little baby girl."

#criminal minds fanfiction #penelope garcia x daughter!reader #derek morgan x platonic!reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x platonic!reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x teen!reader #criminal minds x daughter!reader #criminal minds x child!reader #criminal minds

[anacecherry]

I was looking through the Fionna and Cake trailer to look for scenes we haven't seen in the show yet, and I noticed how most of them are most likely from the same episode. So, on this post, I will be talking about my theories/speculations for Episode 7, The Star.[Spoilers for the episode synopsis under the cut]

So this is what we know about the episode right now.

My first theory was that the title came from whatever happens in the gumlee subplot or maybe it was about Cake being "the star" of the vampire hunters, but then my friend Will reminded me how the previous episodes were all names of characters (Yes, Im counting Destiny idc), and said it could be a nickname for a pre existing character. Maybe it could be this world's Marcy's "Vampire Name". I dont know enough on the topic to be able to tell if it would fit in with the theme the vampires in Stakes had, but it does have an article at its start.

For the first screenshots we have these. The first image shows up near the end of the trailer, its 3 vampires attacking. I think these two are back to back, as the vamps are exactly the same. In the second image the third vampire is in the background and appears to have knocked Fionna down, with Simon standing next to the vampire. Maybe Cake does that attack in rage due to them hurting Fionna.

This is a one second scene and the frame where the explosions dont cover up the whole screen is very hard to catch, but these are the same garlic bombs Peppermint Butler had in Stakes. Maybe the Bubblegum of this universe, along with Pep But, is working with the vampire hunters.

Following up on what I said about Marcy having a "Vampire Name". When I first read the synopsis I assumed that Marcy was the one leading the vamp hunters, as it only makes sense. Being a Vampire hunter was a big part of her backstory that led to her *becoming* one. But I then realized, what's going on here, might be completely different. Not only is she already a vampire, both in the trailer and on the poster this Marceline looks pretty smug for someone presumably fighting for her life, and she has that dress which looks very "royal"(to me, at least).

I thought maybe she embraced being the vampire queen, and attacked the humans, but that wouldn't make sense. Why would she hurt the beings she wiped out an entire species for? And then it clicked: this Marcy never had a Simon at all. She was found by vampires instead of him. Remember the conversation Simon and little Marcy had at the beginning of episode 2?

Someone rich? Living in a castle? With people trained to tend to their every need? Sounds a hell lot like a king.

This conversation is going to come up again. Simon is going to find out that No, Marcy would NOT have been fine if he didn't find her. He's going to see what would really have happened to her if she never met him. In all the past episodes Simon's been constantly told that he sucks, that Ice King was "better" and "more fun". He's been feeling like he truly did not matter and had no value, that it would be better for everyone if he just went back to being Ice King. He's going to see that that's not true, that he does matter. That Marcy values and needs him, even if things are different now. Maybe he won't get it immediately, but he might start doubting his decision to wear the crown again. I'm so confident in this I will eat my door if it doesn't happen.

Human huntress wizard with a garlic arrow. Obviously its from this episode. She must be a hunter(duh) and maybe she's the leader as well. Or maybe Im right about Bonnie being there and *she's* the leader.

Im only assuming this scene is from this episode bc the background color scheme is similar, I dont have any other evidence for it. It may be after Cake beats the vampires, where she gets approached by the hunters to join in. Im kinda basing this theory off the voice line that goes along with it in the trailer ("Now that is a party I don't wanna miss" Who'd wanna miss out on the fun of hunting evil vampires?), but the voice line may be about something else and she could be praising herself to the hunters here (she just has that vibe in here).

A gun(?) Lowers down to face the gang. They smile at it nervously. The ground theyre standing on is wet, and so is Cake. I don't know the reason for that, because they didn't immediately come here after leaving the Winter Kingdom. They might have gotten their clothes wet on some other universe and then came to this world, or maybe this is after they fight the vampires and they somehow got splashed with water during the process. I came up with two possibilities of what might be going on here:

Option A) It is the vampires spotting and trying to kill them. If thats the case they might've destroyed the gun before it could shoot them, or maybe Fionna got shot and thats why she's down on the scene where Cake is attacking. Both end up with the 3 vampire goons attacking.

Option B) It's the vampire hunters seeing them, either after the fight or right as they arrive, and they think the gang are vampires as well until they show their teeth

This isn't from the trailer its from a magazine. I think its from this episode because of the background, like that Cake screenshot. This may be after Cake is recruited. Fionna seems to be annoyed so maybe Cake is doing something wrong and Fionna's disagreeing with her. Or maybe Cake's trying to annoy Fionna and it's working. My friend @weirdlizard26 said this about it, which is far better than what I came up with:

And that's it for the speculation! I wanted to talk about the rest of the scenes in the trailer as well but 1) this post is long enough as it is and 2) tumblr image limit is not being kind to me rn. I might make a separate post for those if I get the motivation. Untill then you'll have just one post of me going insane rambling about what could happen in a show about an old man having an existential crisis and a girlfailure with her cat.

#tagging time #at #adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #fionna campbell #cake the cat #marceline the vampire queen #marceline abadeer #huntress wizard #ace's cherry #fionna the human #<- I forgot she had 2 tags

[accio-victuuri]

(13) Fake Rumors - from the vault

I have been going through some old rumors from the fake house & decided to share some. whether these may be new to you or not, but i hope you still enjoy them as much as I did looking back. I feel like in the fandom, we’ve only ever been active when it comes to lrlg and the 49 fakes. the rest of the information that fall in between aren’t as talked about or depends on the topic. as with all other bjyx material, i want a place to store some parts of it. 🤍

these are sort of random, the ones that I had saved and found again. treat it all as fiction.

( someone please make an AU fic or edit for this xz and wyb. there is a story here. look at them. 😍😍😍 )

i have traveled a long way, you have dreamed a long time. many lonely nights drift like fallen leaves but it always finds a way….🍃🍂

(1) this one was posted for the new year 🎉

XZ: Get me a courier later

🧔‍♂️:Okay

====

🧔‍♂️:What is it? It’s so light

XZ: made-up parts, Legos.

*XZ talking to a staff so he can send out some lego parts. I think it’s light because what he is sending are “parts” that WYB is missing and he found them for him. I truly like the idea of XZ spoiling WYB when it comes to his hobbies and him being invested in it too even if he isn’t necessarily a fan too. true love! and well, reminded me of the rumored lego set gift during the early days of cql filming.

(2) have you eaten?

About the backstage live broadcast of a recent event on the same stage

WYB:Have you eaten yet?

XZ: *shakes head*

WYB: Come have dinner with me later

XZ: Who else? (Looking over it, I don’t know what I’m looking for)

WYB: Stop looking for it. I’ll send it to you next time.

Supplement: Teacher W watched Teacher X take off his makeup before leaving together.

*The usual WYB making sure that XZ eats and him waiting for his gege so they can eat with each other. Even after the CQL filming, as long as they are at the same event they will try and be together. Tho instances of that have been so rare to 0 nowadays because of the amount of eyes on them.

(3) the forbidden book lol

The crew's study period

WYB: Where is the erotic book? I want to read it.

XZ: Suddenly got up and left.

*This is one of my faves even if it’s so short! Library Pavilion behind the scenes & rumors is the gift that keeps on giving. I wouldn’t put it pass WYB to troll ZZ with this.

Here’s a GIF for you to bring you back to that time🤍

(4) call me maybe? 📱

There was a period last year where everyone had to learn rap, usually🐂 learned the fastest but he was absent-minded that time🐂 was looking at us eating delicious food while resting, it seems that he is thinking his rap, he seemed to be even more tired. At this time, staff handed over the phone and he left immediately to pick it up.

He called him, and when he came back he didn't have any special expression, but he felt refreshed. 

(5) praising

WYB: I really like to be praised by everyone and feel "wow" from everyone, so every time Da Zhen's family praises me crazily, I will secretly write it down and send it to him.

XZ: I am also a part-time praise captain. Every time I praise,None of them are the same.He can often keep up with the facts.

WYB: I don’t understand a lot of Internet slang.

XZ: I always hurt him by saying, "No, you don't even know this joke, so WYB doesn't go online?" Just. very good. Laughing, every time I feel hurt, I secretly say "He is better than me. I'm young, I know everything." What kind of tone is this? One time during a video, XZ sang "Darling, come and save me." Seeing WYB's ears slowly become red and coughed. Who can tell me what’s going on with these lyrics?

(6) baking shenanigans

The puff pastry made by XZ is very delicious, WYB will also work with XZ to help when he has time. He’s busy getting started, and they will also do some weird things. If there is a strange taste, try it with the people around you.

Once WYB squeezed minced garlic into the pastry and mixed chili powder, but forgot to mark it, XZ ate it, pinched the back of the neck and squeezed the flesh of the face "Teacher Trained WYB”

*IM CACKLING AT THIS OMG WYB 😂😂😂 what flavor of pastry is that????

(7) another one about eating

Aling period

WYB: Why are you back?

XZ: Come back for dinner, there will be a show in the afternoon

WYB: Aren’t you going to eat with your friends?

XZ: I didn’t agree when someone wanted to invite me, it was too stupid.

WYB: xls It’s so difficult to eat normally today

XZ: You haven’t eaten it, have you?

WYB: Nope. I just thought you were back.

(8) checking the weather

XZ: “The weather doesn’t look like it’s going to rain...(Look 📱)

👤: "It should be sunny..."

XZ: “I just saw📱the weather forecast showed it’s going to rain soon.

👤: How is that possible? It’s obviously sunny. "(春📱)

XZ: "Huh?" (👤♥Two people facing each other📱)

XZ: Overcast to light rain to moderate rain.

👤: What you are looking at is the weather

XZ: Oh my God, so embarrassing...

XZ forgot to switch cities. no one will know the city WYB was in that day if I don’t tell you.

*This one hits different cause for this rumor, they are in different cities but in the same country. Lately, there are times that they are in diff countries so do they look at the weather their too? 🥹🥹🥹

I can’t relate to their obsession with the weather, but if that gives them a sense of connection to each other then it’s fine.

(9) raining

💚Supplement: It’s when the temperature gradually rises. At that time, it rained in June.

💚Holding an umbrella💚❤️talking all the way

❤️Start standing on the right side of 💚

💚Hold the umbrella and tilt it in the direction of ❤️

❤️Thick clothes💚Left half of light-colored thin clothes

The edges are wet and very transparent.

❤️Just keep pushing the umbrella in the direction of 💚

I wanted to block 💚 a little more, but found it was fine.

After seeing the effect, I found an opportunity to move it to the left side of 💚

Then 💚 the right half also got wet

Both centered and symmetrical….…..

(10) them and their parents.

Regarding their parents, I currently know the older one’s mom and dad can also surf the internet, and talk about about their CP and their impression of WYB is good. But his mother actually really wants to have a grandchild. His father is very indifferent when the older one comes home. I'm sure his mother won't be able to bear it. She asked him bluntly, the older ones always focus on work to fool her in the past. In July this year not only did he tell the truth to his family but took the younger one back with him.

It’s time for dinner at home, and the younger one is very nervous. He is afraid that the family will think he is not good enough. He bought a lot of things and piled them up for backup. He sprayed perfume and dressed properly and pretended. The older one made him want to laugh when he looks at him, just fool around. The younger one calls him a big bastard.

The mother on the table was holding jianguo and said she could only count on her to give birth to a litter of grandsons.

* I know that talk about their parents is sensitive and would always lead to more discussion, but again, treat this as fiction. and tbh, who could resist WYB as a son in law??? It I had a son and he brings home WYB as a boyfriend I will be very happy. I also feel soft that XZ is trying to tease and make WYB laugh.

(11)

What happened last year

WYB: Is it delicious?

XZ: (nodding while eating) Yeah, it’s quite delicious.

WYB: What about others?

XZ: Wait a minute...Wow, I just ate that, this one has no taste.

WYB: Is it too spicy?

XZ: It’s okay, but my tongue is numb and I can’t taste other flavors.

WYB: Wait a minute, drink some water. Is it really that spicy?

XZ: Try it yourself. You didn't keep it for yourself? Wasn't it sent from you?

WYB: I didn't take it apart. Bring it to me.

Then XZ really ate so much that he left two packets and took them back to WYB.

(You send it to me and I will bring it back to you. What kind of trick is this?)

What happened this year

XZ: It’s been too cold these two days.

👤: Southern kids.

XZ: :Then northerners also feel cold. Cold is cold.

(Okay, I know you have northerners in your family, next one)

👤When teasing XZ and WYB, XZ’s response was, “Hahaha” and send out red envelopes. As expected of Boss XZ.

I saw other people's submissions and came to do some post-sale service. I heard that XZ sang to put WYB to sleep. I know that there is indeed mmxhn, and there is a six-character song related to snow. (There are probably others somewhere that I don’t know about)

(12) like a fairy

XXX was wearing Iwj's white clothes for the first time

XX: Fairy, descended to earth to overcome the tribulation

XXX: Isn’t fairy a dog? You have so much information but no good words.

XX: Compliment you for being good-looking and handsome.wls, wow, so handsome!

XXX: xls looks better than me, our xls is so beautiful, ancestor of Yiling

XX: Stop, stop, it’s so shameful

*My favorite kind of rumor is when WYB goes gremlin on XZ! 😂😂😂😂

(13) cravings

WYB has been craving for "cai cai rice" recently, XZ told him many times that spring is not so good to have wild vegetables, even if they are cooked. WYB said he doesn’t care about wild vegetables he just wants to eat the vegetable rice cooked by XZ, but I don’t have that. It smells good, I just want to eat it.

In the end, he still didn’t get the cabbage meal, but freshly baked dumplings. WYB got a bargain and acted nice, he was acting coquettishly while eating.

* Oh to be WYB and have someone like XZ cook for youuuu 😍😍😍😍

-END.

P.S : this ye mi and xiao zhan AU pairing is living in my mind rent free. 🥵🥵🥵

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #accio victuuri translation #if it wasn’t obvious enough — i love stuff from fake house lol #THIS IS A WEEKEND TREAT TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAD A TOUGH WORK WEEK ☺️☺️☺️ #YASSS LETS REFERENCE TAYLOR SWIFT FROM THE VAULT

[poppy-metal]

Here is just a broad concept of the my babysitters a vampire!au. The setup and dynamic im thinking of. May turn this into a series, who knows. Let me know how you feel about it!

"I'm telling you," Dustin says, completely serious. "My babysitters a vampire."

Steve shares a look with eddie, eddie just looks amused, like he might actually entertain the notion just for shits and gigs. Steve doesn't like to play pretend. "Uh huh, and I'm secretly madonna." He says, flipping through a magazine distractedly.

"Hey, now." Eddie says, holding up his hand in a 'far be it from me' gesture. "We don't presume what little stevie gets up to in his free time."

Steve rolls his eyes so hard he feels they might rock back into his skull and ping pong around. "What im saying, is the gates closed. For good, this time. That means no monsters. And it also means you, my friend-" he points to dustin "Are delusional. Didn't that new movie just come out with the beach town and kids thinking their neighbors are vampires or something?"

Eddie and Dustin look at eachother and then look at steve like he just said something absolutely horrendous. Eddie is shaking his head, wild hair moving as he does. He hops of the counter, which he'd been rudely sitting on, steve had nitpicked and nagged at him for it but Eddie had just waved him away with a ringed hand and called him 'mom' sarcastically and steve had snapped his mouth shut with another eye roll. His heavy boots slam onto the floor of the video store, and he walks over to a poster add that Robin had put up the other day.

He flicks it sharply with a finger. "This movie you mean. The one that's literally right here, glaring at you, right in your feild of vision. Big and obvious."

Steve looks at the poster. "Huh." He snaps his fingers. "The Lost Boys, that's right. See? I knew i knew it."

"Your lack of movie knowledge genuinely makes me sick, harrington."

"Anyway!" Dustin cuts in, glaring between the two men. "The movie is good, but that's not the point. My babysitter. Is. A vampire. I'm talking full blood sucker. Fangs and all. All the signs are there!"

"Wait, wait, wait." Eddie drawls, slicing his hand through the air in a X motion, coming back to hop on the counter, ignoring steves 'c'mon man.' He steeples his fingers and leans his elbows on his knees, keeping eye contact with Dustin. "What are these signs you speak of?"

Steve throws his hands up, "I can't believe you're encouraging this."

Eddie waves him off, again. "Quiet, mother, dear. I'm listening to our kids troubles. Go on, child, speak."

Dustin heaves a sigh and starts pointing out facts with his fingers, one by one. "First, she had to be invited in. Was totally weird about it, i even moved to the side and she just stood there. I was creeped out! Finally she said something like 'you gonna invite me in or what, kid?' And i did. I wasn't suspicious at that point, you see. Which brings me to instance number two."

Eddie is leaning forward, interest piqued, and Steve studiously goes back to his magazine, although he's loathe to admit his ears are perked and listening. What can he say? He's nosy. Maybe a little concerned, but that would mean he's starting to believe the kid and, no, he's not entertaining this wild idea that defiantly spurred from watching the found boys, or whatever, late one night.

"She can't eat garlic. I was willing to write this one off as an allergy, don't look at me like that steve, but it was the way she acted. I asked her to make garlic bread and she looked physically ill! Sick to her stomach in fact. This is when my little radar went off."

"Your little radar," Steve repeats dryly. Dustin and Eddie ignore him.

"Instance number three is probably the most telling one yet." Dustin pauses for dramatic affect. "She doesn't have a reflection."

Steve looks up from his magazine at this, frowning. "What do you mean, she doesn't have a reflection?"

"I mean she doesn't have a reflection!" Dustin whisper shouts back. "I walked in on her at my mothers vanity staring all creepy like into the mirror. And there was nothing reflecting back! Zilch. Nada."

The boy shudders, "She also can only babysit me at nights. Need i say more?"

"Yes" Steve says at the same time Eddie goes, "No, i think that about covers it."

They look at eachother. "Dude." Steve says, "We totally need more information before jumping to conclusions. I'll admit the mirror thing is weird, but really? A vampire in hawkins? A vampire at all?"

"You're right." Eddie allows and steve sighs in relief. Eddie taps his chin in thought, "She could also be a ghoul, of sorts, based on the information. The two are often mixed up."

The relief was short lived, it seemed. Steve blinks. "Often."

"You'd be suprised."

"I'm really not."

"Guys." Dustin interjects again, his tone chiding. "Back to the issues at hand please?"

Steve closes his magazine, "I don't see an issue."

"The issue where my mortal soul is in peril! Hello!"

Eddie pats his shoulder, "Alright, Alright. Steve and I will look into it, buddy. Your soul is completely safe."

Dustin sags in relief but steve is glaring at eddie. He'd planned on spending his weekend at home. Relaxing, for once. You know the thing he hadn't done in 4 years since this shit show started. Maybe have a drink, put on his comfy loafers and take a nap. "We're doing what now?"

He feels his relaxing weekend slip away from between his fingers and wants to weep.

Eddie just smiles, all dimples. It's jarring really, how easily a guy like eddie smiles. You take one look at him, and you think he'd be all tough as nails and steam blowing through his nose. But he's actually the sweetest guy steve's met. It's hard to stay foul mooded around him, and trust him, steve's tried.

Eddie knocks his knuckles against the counter, "We're gonna stake it out." He points at dustin, "Youuuu, carry on as usual. Invite her in, do whatever babysitties do. Steve and I will come over and say we just wanted to check on our dear old friend. We'll see for ourselves if this chick is fanged out."

Jesus christ.

Steve is rubbing at his temples when eddie sticks his hand out. Steve eyes it like its gonna bite him, frowning as much as he can frown.

"C'mon stevie," Eddie presses, "Lets go monsterhunting."

"Jesus, don't call it that." Steve gripes, but he puts his hand in eddies, lets the man shake it dramatically. "Fine. Whatever. Not like i had plans, anyway."

"We know." Eddie and dustin echo at the same time.

Meanwhile, you frown at the compact mirror in your hand, irritated by this whole no reflection business. Being a fledgling vampire is so annoying. How are you supposed to know if your makeup is okay? If your lipgloss is smudged? Your eyeliner? Its heinous. You'd think vampires, after being around for thousands of years, would have updated their terms and policies.

You guess there's relief in the fact its just dustin you're babysitting. No cute guys. Or girls. You'd given that up a month ago when you'd been bitten by your shitty ex.

No more dates, because the probability of them ending in bloodshed was high. Lust made your newfound hunger for blood that much worse. That's why you'd taken this gig. Nothing cooled the loins like annoying teenagers.

The bloodlust was still there though, steadily growing and creeping up on you as the nights passed. You could feel the empty pit in your stomach growing like a void.

You refused to go back to your maker, your ex, for help. You'd sworn him off after the whole turning you into a undead monster thing. Even though you knew, as a fledgling, you needed his help more than ever to guide you through this.

But he was a bad vampire. The kind in horror movies. The kind that would teach you how to hunt and kill innocents. You didn't want to be that. You wouldn't let Yourself.

You was just. So hungry. So very, very hungry.

#poppy speaks #my babysitters a vampire!au #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #st x reader #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #steve harrington

[soapbubbles511]

I'm trying to roughly order things from the teaser/trailer/stills based on outfits and such. I'm also trying to keep straight in my head which parts have the crew still separated and which parts they have been reunited.

All of the production stills for episodes 1 and 2 don't have any mixing of the two crews. And Archie starts with Ed's crew. Partway through episode 2 is probably the earliest that we could have the crews reuniting.

Raiding weddings is just Ed's crew (including Archie). This is in the first episode as the cake topper appears in a still for 2x01. The face paint seems to be only for dramatic effect during raids. So that bit where Ed throws the knife past Izzy's head is possibly right before or after a raid. I'm going to go with after and Ed has stolen the cake toppers and wants Izzy to leave him alone so he can cry with his dolls.

In all the stills for 2x01 Stede's crew are wearing the same outfits as the end of S1, except Stede has accessorized with a little red scarf. This includes the scenes of Stede finding the wanted poster and talking to Olu about how he and Ed were on a break.

Ed crying on the floor and then deciding to stop the drinking and drugs seems to be 2x02. I think he's talking to Frenchie there and it's probably connected to the scene with Ed intensely standing over Frenchie.

The storm is just Ed's crew on the Revenge. Ed is wearing the cravat here.

Chinese outfits

Stede is wearing it in some of the production stills for 2x02.

They're wearing them in this bit where Buttons goes between ships. And of note Lucius is with Stede's crew.

So this scene where they're all wearing these outfits could very well be when they find Lucius again (or all of the rest of the crew). Stede has a little headband here as well as in the EW still where his crew is looking happy on deck. None of the other shots in this outfit include the headband so he must take it off after. Possibly Stede looks less excited in these shots because Ed isn't with the rest of the crew and they don't find him until a bit later

They're wearing them in the crossbow scene and there's Archie in the background. It's cut with this other shot of Ed's crew

Stede is wearing this outfit in the headbonk scene with Ed. And the cuts on Ed's face are still bleeding here. Ed is also wearing the cravat in this scene. This may be when they first find Ed again, having already reunited the rest of the crew

There are various scenes of Izzy seemingly training Stede. Stede is wearing the shirt from 2x01, minus the red scarf this time. This is also what he's wearing when he throws the message in a bottle. After Stede found Ed bleeding, Ed told him to fuck off and ran off to the woods? So Stede reluctantly teams up with Izzy to try to get Ed to come back?

There are various scenes of Ed in the woods (possibly with Hornigold or ghost!Hornigold?). Ed firing a gun near his little shelter. Ed throwing himself off a cliff? Ed meeting his new bunny best friend. Ed has the cuts on his face but he's not actively bleeding in all these scenes.

Stede is wearing the same outfit when he and Ed meet with Anne and Mary. Ed smokes weed with them. Anne is trying to seduce Stede? Ed also has the cuts on his face here. This is when Stede finds Ed again after he emerges from the woods?

In this shot we have combined crews. Jim and Izzy. Olu and Pete. Lucius is there (I'm still not entirely sure which crew he starts with but I'm still choosing to believe Lucius in the walls)

And they all seem to be wearing the same outfits here. Olu, Jim and Archie are also wearing these outfits in the garlic scene.

And Stede is wearing the same outfit with Ed here

Slutty blue shirt

Stede's wearing it in the torturer scene (I suspect this is a fuckery but not sure). He does not yet have the earring. The crews are combined here.

Stede is still wearing this shirt during the battle on the beach. He has now acquired an earring. Ed is also here. The bit with Frenchie and Lucius grabbing a guy by the feet looks like it also belongs here. Stede is also wearing this shirt with earring in the bit where he's talking about having been a failure his whole life.

Ed is wearing Buttons' shirt at Spanish Jackie's so it would seem this is after the crews have reunited. And it would appear Swede has already become one of her husbands.

#this is mostly just for me #i'm eating breadcrumbs off the floor #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #stede bonnet #edward teach

[restinslices]

Could u write earthrealm guys with a vampire reader? And like sometimes she feeds on them 👀

*asks for vampire requests* *proceeds to procrastinate*

Johnny Cage 

Honestly it'd probably take him awhile to grasp how serious the situation is 

It's not that he wouldn't believe you, but he'd probably think you're joking at first 

Says something like “yeah and I'm a werewolf”

You insist that you're serious and something about the tone of your voice makes him realize you're being truthful 

He saw that crazy shit in Outworld so it's not completely unreasonable 

He's kinda jealous though 

You're gonna be young and hot forever? And you have powers? Sounds like bullshit to him 

He probably asks questions that have to do with your age and how long you've been alive 

I think he would weirdly find you drinking from him kinda hot, especially depending on when and where you drink from him 

Drinking from him shuts him up for awhile since he's all dazed, so it'd be understandable if you drank from him a lot 

I don't even think he'd cover up the marks. He treats him as if they're hickies 

He's probably told the other champions too because his mouth is big 

And knowing Johnny, he's thinking of all the movies you could be in since people love vampires 

Also knowing Johnny, if you can compel people, he'd use that for his benefit 

If all you have to do is say a couple words and his debt is forgiven, then he's definitely using that 

He sees how many pros there are and asks to be turned 

The thing is though, he's only looking at the pros

You have to continuously remind him of the cons but it goes in one ear and out the other 

He will not let it go at all. You don't have to turn him right away, but if you don't give him a specific date for when he'd be turned, he'd become insufferable 

Becomes Bella Swan lowkey-

Kenshi Takahashi

Probably also thinks you're joking 

Once it's clear you're not though, y'all can lowkey be a power couple 

Imagine it for a second 

You both cutting through the Yakuza and restoring his clan 

You being a vampire makes it a lot easier. He's fighting, you're eating. It's going great 

He's not too bothered by the whole vampire thing. There's a few quirks that may throw him off, but overall it's ok 

When it comes to feeding off him, uhhhh… he's a bit shaky about it 

I think that's a valid reaction too

You'd ask and he'd be like “um… do you have to?”

He'd occasionally offer you his wrist 

Otherwise he'd prefer if you didn't unless it's necessary 

Why do I get this vibe? I couldn't tell you 

I don't even think he'd really want to be a vampire 

It's not that he doesn't wanna be one. He just doesn't think about it 

He could be tempted if you said his eyes would heal and he'd have his normal vision back but that could depend on the day 

His sight is already restored but pretending to be blind may get annoying. Who knows

I still don’t understand how his sight works now. I gotta rewatch a play through

Being a vampire has its main perk which is living forever but idk if he’d want that. I can see Kenshi being someone who is both afraid of death but also is comforted by all life having a solid ending

Maybe his thoughts will change

I really don't think he'd be too bothered by you being a vampire though. Just don't make a mess on his carpet 

I think you having the ability to defend yourself would weirdly comfort him 

Not having to watch over you and make sure you're ok all the time is something he'd appreciate 

You're literally eating the opponents. This seems like a great deal 

Kung Lao

I wanna start this off by saying Kung Lao is the type of petty bitch to get mad at you and hold garlic to keep you away 

And he'll be in such shock if you walk over and slap it out his hand

You'll just be staring at each other in silence 

Kung Lao probably tests all sort of vampire myths on you 

“Get out the house then try and come back in” “Why?” “You can't come in if I don't invite you, right?” “This is our house though” “I don't get your point”

Prays over water then throws it at you 

Idek if Kung Lao is religious so idk why he thought that would work 

“Can I stake you through the heart?” “I'm gonna throw you out the window”

Puts a mirror in front of your face to see if you have a reflection. He’s upset either way

If you do, he’s like “wow. Another lie”

If you don’t he’s wondering how you manage to look decent still

It honestly can become obnoxious and I think he'd have the tendency to act as if he knows more about vampires than you 

Because surely all the movies he watched had to be somewhat right 

If you’re like a Twilight vampire and sparkle, he’s never letting you live it down

You can’t control this but he would find it comical. Out of all the vampires you’re similar to Edward Cullen?

When it comes to drinking from him, uhhh I don't really get a certain vibe 

Idk if he'd be down or against it. Maybe it depends on the day 

On the topic of feeding, I don't think he'd like seeing you eat people 

He knows it happens but doesn't wanna see you chomping on someone. It makes his skin crawl 

Overall, is he kinda obnoxious? Yeah. But he could've tried to kill you so a win is a win ig

As a side note, idk if he'd be interested in becoming a vampire 

It’s a thing he gotta weigh. On one hand he’d be in his best shape for the rest of his life. On the other hand he doesn’t wanna deal with all the inconveniences

Raiden

He might be somewhat uncomfortable 

He doesn't think you'll harm him but he probably doesn't want you to eat others in front of him 

What evidence do I have for this? None. 

It's just what makes sense in my brain 

He asks a lot of questions though. A lot of them are cliche based but that's ok 

“So… Garlic?” “It smells funny but that's about it”

I could see him forgetting honestly. He won't be really involved when it comes to feeding. Like he won't help lure people or be around you when you're feeding from someone and since he doesn't see that, it just slips his mind 

Especially if you're one of those vampires that look normal until you're aggravated or feeding 

He's only reminded by almost killing you. He pulls the curtains back on a very sunny day and is like “oh shit” when you scream 

When it comes to feeding from him… no❤

Idk why but I just don't think he'd be down unless you were dying 

He doesn't like how it hurts and how dazed he feels after. Find someone else to do it 

And it’s kinda awkward. He’s just standing there as you’re sipping him like a juice box

Probably isn't really interested in becoming a vampire 

Him and Liu Kang are probably the least interested but for different reasons 

Raiden just doesn't particularly care about the whole living forever thing. Maybe that's because he's young so he's not worried about dying but that's just how he views it 

I think him and Kung Lao are the youngest in the group so they probably have the “I’m young so I’m not worried about anything!” mindset

Can he be killed still? Yeah. But so can vampires. It’s just harder. He’s at an age where he’s not thinking about old age

Plus the negative side effects push him away even further. I don't see him as the type to be totally ok with having to drink blood all the time and look out for hunters 

You can be a vampire and not hurt innocent people but it’s harder I would assume. And if he didn’t drink from humans he’d be hunting down animals and idk if he’d really like biting animals either

There’s blood bags but now he gotta be a thief? It’s a no for right now

Liu Kang

He knew 

I'm not saying Liu Kang watches every single person born intensely but he probably saw it 

Here's how it'd go;

A) He saw you be turned when he was watching humanity 

B) He picked up on the evidence 

C) You were a vampire in the previous timeline and either he didn't change it, or he knew there was a chance it'd happen again 

If the situation was like C, then he wouldn't really be weirded out by certain vampire things, like feeding

He'd be similar to Raiden in the sense that he's not the type to help lure people towards you 

Your food. Your responsibility 

As long as you're not feeding from totally innocent people, then I think he wouldn't have a problem 

If you were drinking from kids or a civilian that's super nice and helpful, then he'd have a problem 

He might suggest animals ngl 

Feeding from him? It's another situation where I don't know if he'd be for or against that 

He probably won't be as dazed as the others since he's a god and whatnot but who is tryna get bit all the time?

In the same breath though, I can see him offering his wrist if you were thirsty and there wasn't good prey around 

So maybe it depends on circumstances 

No if there’s plenty of options around. Yes if it’s a bit dry around

Like Kenshi, he's glad you have the power to defend yourself. Chaos, violence and smoke follows this man so you gotta be a fighter 

He doesn't know how he feels about you eating the competition but whatever 

And don't even bother offering to turn him. He's already a god. What more does he need?

It'd be way more negative for him. He has strength, powers and combat skills. Now he has the need for blood, has to avoid sunlight and whatever other bullshit vampires gotta deal with?

Hard pass 

He'll just watch and live through you 

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #johnny cage #johnny cage headcanons #kenshi takahashi #kenshi takahashi headcanons #kung lao #kung lao headcanons #raiden #raiden mortal kombat #liu kang #liu kang headcanon

[finalmemes]

THE LOST BOYS. roleplay sentence starters of the 1987 film. feel free to edit according to scenario / pronouns. tw: violence, language, horror, blood.

hey, i liked that song.

how about this?

wait, that's from my era!

what's that smell?

smells like someone died.

i think you're really going to like living in [ location ].

any jobs around here?

looks like he's dead.

if he's dead can we go back to [ location ]?

this is a pretty cool place / for the texas chainsaw massacre.

have you seen a tv? i haven't seen a tv, [ name ]. you know what it means when there's no tv? no mtv.

[ name ], we are flat broke.

no running in the house!

rules! we've got some rules around here.

there are some bad elements around here.

you're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world?

well, let me put it this way. if all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once, we'd have one hell of a population problem.

read the tv guide, you don't need a tv.

excuse me, i wonder if you could help us.

we only come here to watch one thing.

i told you not to come in here anymore.

you have a generous nature. i like that in a person.

so how may i help you this evening? we have it all. the best selection in [ location ].

i look that needy, huh?

i'm at the mercy of your sex glands!

don't you have something better to do than follow me around all night?

just scoping your civilian wardrobe.

pretty cool, huh? / for a fashion victim.

listen buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen yogurt bar, it went out of business last summer.

where the hell are you from? krypton?

i don't like horror comics.

i thought i heard something.

nobody drives this baby but me.

that's as close to town as i like to get.

noticed anything unusual about [ location ] yet?

are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something?

you think you really know what's happening here, don't you? well, i'll tell you something. you don't know shit, buddy.

we are dedicated to a higher purpose. we're fighters for truth, justice, and the american way.

there's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.

if you want your ear pierced, i'll do it.

wanna get something to eat?

you don't have to beat me, [ name ]. you just have to try and keep up.

how far are you willing to go, [ name ]?

that's what i love about this place. you ask, and then you get.

i can never sleep with the closet door open, either. not even a crack.

don't sneak up on people like that!

how are those maggots?

you're eating maggots. how do they taste?

no hard feelings, huh?

you're one of us, bud.

[ 1st name ] wants to know what's going on. [ 2nd name ], what's going on?

bottoms up, man.

what time is it?

you need sunglasses to talk on the phone?

are you freebasing? inquiring minds want to know.

are you still in bed?

[ name ], would you do me a favor?

it's been a long time since somebody asked me out to dinner.

i'm gonna make you a sandwich.

all you do is give attitude lately.

what did you do to my dog, asshole?

you're a creature of the night, [ name ]. just like out of a comic book.

you're a vampire, [ name ]. my own [ sibling ], a goddamn shit-sucking vampire. you wait 'til mom finds out!

stay away from me, [ name ]!

you did the right thing by calling us.

you better get yourself a garlic t-shirt, buddy. or it's your funeral.

[ name ], i think we have to have a real long talk about something.

what's going on there? [ name ], i'm starting to get worried.

we should stay calm.

who's making that noise?

we've got to stick together, [ name ].

we're gonna work this out. trust me, okay?

you had me scared to death.

i can't believe you people.

can i sleep in here with you tonight?

what's happening to me, [ name ]?

we've been aware of some very serious [ creature ] activity in town for a long time.

[ location ] has become a haven for the undead.

as a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and werewolves occupy high position at city hall.

kill your brother. you'll feel better.

are we gonna have company again?

hi, i didn't hear you come in!

[ name ], what's the matter with you?

what's gotten into you tonight?

our batting average isn't terrific, is it?

if you ever want to see [ name ] again, you better come with us now.

initiation's over, [ name ]. time to join the club.

i have to talk to you. can i come up?

you drank someone's blood? are you crazy?!

why didn't you kill me last night?

what are you doing here? what do you want from me?

i got connections.

i don't want you going down there.

if something happens down there, i won't have the strength to protect you.

chill out, [ name ].

where did you say you met these guys?

we're on the right trail. flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns.

this isn't funny.

i'm not kidding! they're coming to the house as soon as it gets dark!

i better get cleaned up, then.

they'll be coming for all of us.

i say we terminate them right now.

you missed, sucker.

holy shit! it's the attack of eddie munster!

you afraid to face me, [ name ]?

don't let them see me like this.

nothing's changed.

has everyone gone crazy? what's the matter with all of you?

is everybody okay?

how much do you think we should charge them for this?

one thing about living in [ location ] i never could stomach. all the damn vampires.

#horror sentence starters #rp sentence starters #rp memes #writing prompts #horror prompts #the lost boys sentence starters #film sentence starters

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 3

Hunter: Knock, knock.  Omega: Who's there?  Hunter: Boo!  Omega: Boo who?  Hunter: Why are you crying?  Omega: I'm not crying Hunter: Hello notcrying, I'm Hunter. 

Wrecker: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.  Tech: So, you’re not going to share?  Wrecker: I’m not going to share.

Echo: What happened?!  Hunter: Do you want the long version or the short version?  Echo: Sh-short??  Hunter: Shit's fucked.  Echo: Okay, long.  Hunter: Shit's very fucked.

Crosshair, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.  Wrecker: You're kinda ugly. 

Hunter: Be careful about succumbing to these sorts of destructive... urges. Addiction can be a powerful thing.  Crosshair: So am I. Bow down before your new supreme overlord, bitches.

Tech: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.  Omega: Well, that was entirely predictable.  Tech: One of them punched a gang member.  Omega: Echo?  Tech: Crosshair, actually.  Omega: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. 

Wrecker: How’s practice going?  Crosshair: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.  Wrecker: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.  Crosshair: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.  Wrecker: Don’t tell me how to live my life. 

Tech: What's two plus two?  Omega: Math.  Tech: ...I will accept that answer. 

Echo: If you water water, it grows.  Omega: ...What.  Hunter: He’s got a point.  Crosshair: And here we see Hunter and Tech in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.  Hunter: Gaelic bread.  Tech: Grueling brad.  Hunter: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Crosshair: You're a lying piece of shit!  Hunter: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!  Wrecker: I'm leaving and I'm taking Tech with me!  Echo, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Echo, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Tech: But how- Echo, ignoring him: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Omega, texting Tech: I’m a theif.  Tech: Thief.  Omega: Theif.  Tech: I before E except after C.  Omega: Thceif.  Tech: NO.

Echo: What’s your body count?  Crosshair: Do you mean sex or murder?

Tech: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Tech: *yawns*  Phee: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.  Tech: Then you must be exhuasted.  Hunter: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Crosshair: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!  Echo: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.  Crosshair: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?  Echo: Somehow that's worse.

Tech: *accidentally eats something too spicy so his eyes start to water*  Omega: Tech, look at me. It's okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You're the best person I know.  Tech: I'm not crying?  Omega, hugging Tech's head: Shush baby, it's okay. Hunter is here and he loves you with his whole heart.

Hunter: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!  Crosshair: This unmitigated poppycock?  Wrecker: Extravagant hogwash!  Hunter: Okay, stop.

Wrecker: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Phee recently.  Tech: No, Wrecker, it's not what it looks like, I swear.  Wrecker: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?  Tech: No! You’re the only one for me.  Wrecker: Is that so?  Tech: I promise! Phee and I are just dating, okay? She’s my partner.  Wrecker: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?  Tech: You are still my one and only best friend! She’s just the love of my life, nothing more!  Wrecker: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?  Tech: Of course bro!  Wrecker: Bro...  Phee: What the-

Wrecker: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.  Omega: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

Hunter: When do you usually go to sleep?  Echo: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Crosshair: What are you doing here?  Wrecker: I could ask you the same question.  Crosshair: I live here. This is my house.  Wrecker: I should probably ask you a different question. 

Hunter: What’s the status up here? Crosshair: Fucked up, about to die, Tech's a nerd. The usual.

Wrecker: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.  Wrecker: And I started thinking.  Wrecker: Like, it was just trying to get food.  Wrecker: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?  Hunter: Are you ok?

Echo: *out cold on the ground*  Hunter: Oh my god, do you think he’s okay?!  Crosshair, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Echo’s face*

Crosshair: What do I get?  Wrecker: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.  Crosshair: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.  Wrecker: It won't be you.  Crosshair: I'll get my coat. 

Tech: I think I need a hug...  Wrecker: Good thing I'm hug shaped!  *45 minutes later*  Tech: You... you can let go now.  Wrecker: No, I absolutely cannot. 

Hunter: Why are you drinking?  Echo: I drink when I'm depressed.  Hunter: But you're always drinking?  Echo: *smug grin* 

Hunter, texting: Wrecker, will you please go to sleep?  Wrecker, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?  Hunter, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!  Hunter, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?  Wrecker, texting: I’m trying  Hunter, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH  Hunter, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :) 

Omega: The time to act is now.  Omega: Wink, wink.  Tech: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.  Omega: Oh, sorry.  Omega: Wink. 

*Wrecker falls over* Hunter: Wrecker! Are you alright? Wrecker: Is that you, God? Hunter: What? Wrecker: It's just, you sound a lot more like Hunter than I expected.

Echo: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.  Echo: *waves his finger and sings like he’s in a Disney Channel intro*

Crosshair, trying to comfort Omega: What’s the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I’ve been there.

Wrecker: Look, Tech, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and it's Monday.

Echo: :) Crosshair: >:( Echo: Turn that frown upside down! Crosshair: ):&lt; Echo: Not sure what I was expecting...

Hunter, texting Tech: *sends a voice message* Tech, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? Hunter: No, don’t worry, just listen later. *later* Tech: *presses play* Hunter's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Tech: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here. Hunter: Wrecker is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Tech. Wrecker: I feel like Tech is the more responsible one of us two though. Tech: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control. Wrecker: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Omega: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Hunter, watching Echo screaming, Crosshair trying to set a sleeping Tech on fire, and Wrecker choking on air: I don't know either.

Crosshair, laying in bed: Get out of my room. Hunter, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.

#incorrect quotes #bad batch #star wars #tbb #incorrect bad batch quotes #to drown the sorrows <3

[ryanscabinlife]

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted the May garden update. A lot of things has happened. Loads of wins and also plenty of failures. I guess I'll start with the progress of the ones I featured last month.

The hardneck garlic that overwintered are just about ready to be harvested. According to online sources, garlics can be harvested about a month after the scapes emerges. I was delighted to see the scapes as I was taking pics this morning. Can't wait to collect and make something out of them.

Oh tomatoes. I talked about how our weather has been awful many of times on this blog. After the dry May, they started showing some damaged on their leaves, and since they barely saw the sun this month, they did not grow very much. I panicked so I bought 30 more roma seedlings and 6 more cherry tomatoes. After a few days of sun, all of them are bouncing back to life and looking very healthy. Now I'm stuck with 60 romas and 12 cherries. Not the worst problem to have, really. All corners of the garden have tomatoes planted in them.

The beds where the trellis is sitting is now filled with plants. All of the beans and peas are looking great. The snow peas are about 4 ft tall and there's plenty of beans on the ground. The luffa that I was so excited about, none of them showed up. I bought a packet of 10 seeds for a whopping $4.99 and only 1 germinated. I'm currently babying it and waiting for the perfect time to transplant it. The cucumber is the other one I'm totally having hard time with. So far I've already used up the whole packet, and so far I have seen none. I planted the last 6 seeds yesterday but I'm not holding my breath. We have a neighbour (I'm using the word neighbour very loosely here, they're about 5km from us) who have a small road-side stand and in the summer they sell cucumbers. I think I'm just gonna have to rely on them for cucumbers.

The potatoes (all 30ft row) are doing extremely well. Some of them suffered from light frost and their early leaves died but they all bounced back. I think next year, I'll plant them even earlier.

It looks like the apple or crabapple (I still don't know) tree had a couple of successful pollinations. I think the reason for the lack of blooms is because the tree has been neglected and unkept for a long time. I've already been researching and watching a ton of videos on how to properly prune apple trees so I can prune it next spring in hopes that it will put out more blooms next year.

The border is looking a bit sad. Something to be expected on the first year due to the fact that most of the plants I have in it are perennials. I think they'll live though, I can only hope that they come out stronger next year. Looking closely, the wildflowers that I broadcasted are out. I see hundreds of them. I've added two smaller beds, I'm hoping to fill them up with the annual seedlings I'm currently growing. No progress at all on the potted garden in the background.

The brassicas are my favourites but also the main cause of my headaches. Thank god I have seeded a good amount of extras because these bitches have plethora of enemies! The first to attack was slugs. They destroyed a handful of seedlings (100% my fault coz I decided to plant them too young). I battled this with non-stop weeding and slug hunting. So far it's been working, I just go in early in the morning, remove all of the slugs and the weeds they hide into. Then the rabbits. I did not plan to build a fence this year but after the rabbit attack that ate almost half of the original plants, I decided to build a fence around the garden. Again, so far it's working. Then just when they start actually growing, the damn flea beetles happened. Yesterday, I ordered some food grade diatomaceous earth. I'm aware that it will kill all of the insects it will come across with whether they're good or bad but I guess I'll just have to be careful not to put it on any of the flowering crops so it doesn't kill the pollinators. Next year, to avoid using such measure, I plan to install netting on all of the leafy veggies. I don't wanna do that now because it will just trap in the ones I already have in.

Speaking of flea beetles and brassicas, these godforsaken creatures killed all of the arugulas and boy choy I planted at the end of April. I then replanted them a couple of weeks ago and lo and behold, all of them are damaged again. I'm leaving them on the bed for now to hopefully serve as food for the pests and in hopes that I'll be able to trap and kill them once the diatomaceous earth arrives. I'll try to grow them again in the fall when the temperature starts going down with netting. But for now, I planted some of my extra tomatoes to keep this spot occupied.

To my surprise, the asparagus are doing exceedingly well. Can't wait for 2025 when I can finally harvest some.

I have 3 tomatillos that survived and they're doing well. They're planted with the original cherry tomatoes and celery.

3 weeks ago, I though these celery plants were dead, but they managed to come back.

Peanut, another big failure. I planted a whole row of peanuts parallel to the row of potatoes. 30 ft of it and roughly 40 seeds, 3 germinated, 2 out of those 3 got devoured by slugs. So now I have ONE peanut plant. I scattered few sage and pepper seeds in the area as replacement. Let's see what happens.

After the small radish harvest yesterday, these is what's left. I'm gonna give them a week or so until I pull them all out. In preparation for their departure, I have okras and eggplants growing in between rows. I've already replanted the okra and eggplants a couple of times because slugs and birds keep on eating them. To avoid that, I just covered them with recycled plastic cups as protection for now.

On the same bed as the radish, okra, and eggplants are the softneck garlic. It's more or less an experiment. I was just curious if they actually produce garlic bulbs at the end of growing season. The garlic cloves I used are from Costco. They're not looking too bad.

Next bed over (where I have the failed arugula and bokchoy) are onions. I bought a pack of a hundred bulbs and shoved all of them in this bed. They just started emerging.

Next bed after that (my biggest one) are corn, zucchini, and butternut squash. The corns are doing alright. I dealt with poor germination with both of the squashes and when they show up, birds eats them. Nothing much I could do other than keep replanting seeds and protecting the seedlings with plastic cups. Looks like the ones I have at the moment are gonna make it.

Next bed after that are carrots. I planted these back in April, and this is what they look like now. They sure to take their sweet time to germinate.

25-Jun-2023

#ryanscabinlife #plantblr #plant community #garden blog #gardening #vegetable garden #garden #garden journal #garden diary #garden diaries #garden 2023 #my garden #gardencore #what's growing

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 5

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 4 🟣 Part 6 

A reverse harem vampire AU ft. Mikey, Marshall, August and Sherlock

Series summary: Somehow, you've managed to live with your boyfriend and his roommates for months before finding out they're vampires, but the real shock first comes when they find out you have a special quality. A quality the guys would love to make use of...

Warnings: Mentions of blood, biting, vampire stuff.

Word count: 3.5k

A/N: Buttload of information incoming!

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @summersong69

Elective courses on vampirism. Mind reading gifts. Vampires appearing out of nowhere. The strange urge to offer yourself up as dinner you hadn't been able to stop. The term 'blood whore' wouldn't leave your thoughts. Part of you wished Marshall had never shared that with you. And the suggestion that you play walking buffet for four vampires... Now there was something that definitely rubbed you the wrong way.

Thirty minutes went by quickly as you thought about everything that had happened, and not even a second after you caught yourself violently curious and longing for information, there was a knock on the door.

"Mikey told me to tell you that you don't have to scream," Sherlock said as he stepped into your room. "How are you feeling?" The question sounded less feverish than half an hour ago in the living room; he'd obviously calmed down again.

"I'm good. How is everyone else?"

"Gone," he said, "I told them to hit the road."

"Thank you." The last thing you needed right now was Marshall and Mike digging around in your brain. "Where do we start?"

"Curious, huh?" Sherlock asked. "That's good. I say we go through the topics, and you point out the need-to-knows?” Actually, that didn't sound like a bad idea.

"I still can't believe I am taking vampire lessons out of necessity all of a sudden."

"I'm sure you can adjust," Sherlock said, "your curiosity is a perfect indicator for it."

"I mean..." You could tell you were beginning to blush. "It's definitely interesting."

"Certainly," he said. "Now, first of all; thank you. I don't think I've said that."

"You're welcome." You were surprised by how much you genuinely meant that. "How come you were in such rough shape?"

"I was away for research over the summer, there hadn't been an opportunity to feed for weeks. I used my last bit of strength to get home."

"What were you researching?"

"Oh, I'll need to talk you through four more courses to make it understandable." His tone was friendly, and it made you like him even more. He wasn’t a condescending dick, like August.

"Maybe later," you laughed.

"What do you know?"

"Mike and the others brought me up to speed on the garlic, how turning someone works, a little bit about the gifts. And your... Food sources."

"Alright, so the basics. And our version of 'the talk'." Yes, you confirmed, that was pretty much it. "Perhaps a basic rundown of what you are wouldn't be out of place."

"I was hoping that would be one of the topics, yes." You just hadn't been entirely sure that it was 101 enough.

"You have a right to know, but it might be a bit complicated. Some things I may not be able to explain today, I hope you can accept that without thinking of me as a condescending arse?"

"I'm familiar with August, so I'm no stranger to a little derision." Sherlock laughed at your remark.

"That's a fair point."

"Anyway, Marshall called me a 'natural', was it?" If you were this curious about your classes, you’d be a straight A student, you were sure of it. Unfortunately for you and your grades, vampires were a tad more interesting. Especially since you were apparently wired to be food for them.

"Yes."

"Because being a vampire snack comes natural to me? Or 'us', I guess?" You definitely sounded more casual than you felt about the whole situation. There was definitely a lot to talk about, a lot to unpack, and a part of you really just wanted to hide from it all.

"Yes and no. Let me..." He took a tablet from the bag you had never seen him put down in the first place, and pulled up actual lecture slides. "I am going to try to make this an A to B kind of story. I am also going to warn you I'm not very good at those. I probably won't have to tell you vampires aren't the monsters humans once believed us to be."

"Mike took care of that... It took a me a minute to get on board with that." There was no point in lying to him, especially since your education had seemed to be a massive redeeming factor up until now.

"You were raised by the opposition, then?" Sherlock chuckled softly.

"Very much so, homeschooled and everything." Sherlock raised his eyebrows upon hearing your answer, and commented on the fact that Mike had done a very good job at changing your beliefs about vampires.

"There's still a lot to unpack,” you said softly while looking at your hands. It was all strange and new, and you were long past the option of walking away and pretending none of this had ever happened.

"Indubitably." There was something heartwarming about Sherlock’s smile you couldn’t quite put your finger on. He was a handsome man, slightly older than the others, though not by much, with a certain serenity to him that came with years – possibly centuries – of experience. How anyone was able to concentrate with him as a professor, however, you couldn’t figure out.

Somewhere along the way, your subconscious decided it was time to start asking questions, and pushed one to the front of your mind: "How did I become the way I am?" Sherlock patiently explained that you were born that way: It was an unusual, though not rare, mutation.

"What does it do?"

"If you'll allow me more than a single sentence in between interruptions, I'll tell you." Another charming smile gave you the weird urge to giggle – but you suppressed it.

"Sorry, professor,” you said jokingly, and he answered with a chuckle.

"As I was trying to say; humans and vampires have been coexisting peacefully for several centuries. Mike wouldn't even know of a time where they didn't, the rest of us have memories aplenty, and some scars for good measure.

"We made it this far, because we gradually developed a symbiotic relationship with your kind. Now, normally, these types of evolution take far longer than just a few short centuries, and to this day we don't know just what accelerated this change. It's especially curious because your kind is, as I pointed out earlier, quite unusual.

"Now, most humans who voluntarily allowed us to feed ourselves found it exhilarating, a thrill. Which was understandable because there was a significant risk of dying. There still is."

"Excuse me? Mike assured me that the only way to die would be if he… chose to…" Had he been lying to you when he said that dying wasn’t something you needed to worry about in your little experiment? You immediately felt embarrassed for asking. The details of your sex life were none of Sherlock’s business, after all, and you’d rather avoid this topic of conversation altogether – but it was too late for that, now.

"Ah, right. Bear with me for a moment, please? That relationship between vampires and naturals I described, tackles precisely that problem, and the one of the significant pain a normal human donor usually feels."

"Pain? There's no..."

"Not for you, not beyond the pain of the bite itself. For a normal human, even weakened venom would be painful. To willingly go through that would be indicative of serious masochistic tendencies." Sherlock also explained that this was precisely the reason that ‘unmedicated administration of bites’ – as he called it – was something usually reserved for erotic purposes. You appreciated the clinical, professional approach he took to explaining what was – in essence – more kinky vampire shit.   

"So when I offered without thought, you knew?"

"I suspected, and I do have to admit I was prepared to confirm my theory. Then I saw Mike's face. Marshall's commentary confirmed my suspicions. I'm fairly sure he got confirmation from Mikey's thoughts directly."

"And how does my… Condition… Tackle the problem of being drained?" Was ‘condition’ the right word? Existence? Nature?

"A fair question that's kept us occupied for quite some time. It wasn't a secret for long that some humans not only felt no pain when fed on, but also didn't seem to run out of blood. You can imagine what a commodity you were. Large sums of money were involved in the trade of your kind. You were stolen, wars were fought over you. Not to mention the crusades against you as much as us, because humans believed your kind's specific purpose was to feed vampires, and they believed that voluntary feeding was of the devil. They tried everything in their power to keep our feeding practices a crime."

"I'm afraid my family is still in that camp…" You shuddered at the thought of your parents finding out about your current living arrangements, let alone them finding out you were anything other than the perfect little girl they thought they had raised.

"Then I can't tell you how glad I am they never found out about your nature." Sherlock had an apologetic look on his face when he said it, and you decided not to push the matter, but it did make you feel uneasy. Luckily, it wasn’t hard to move on from the subject when the next question popped up in your mind.

"What causes it?"

"Right, the actual answer to your question. Your blood contains a chemical that, when it comes into contact with our venom, creates two other chemicals; one of which accelerates the speed with which your blood regenerates to the point where a vampire can't feed faster than you… replenish. Experiments have been conducted with two of us feeding simultaneously, and results showed it was not only dependent on the amount of venom in your system, but also a matter of habituation."

"Like… Breastfeeding?"

"An interesting choice to describe a basic supply and demand economy, but yes, and also very much no. Do you mind if we skip the technicalities for now?" He emphasized the fact that this would become a very lengthy conversation very rapidly if he were to explain everything in detail, though he didn’t want to put you off asking for further explanations, if that was what you really wanted. For now, however, you were good with the basics.

"If you bite me, I make blood faster, got it." The questions just kept coming, and you were really glad to not have asked for more details, because you were sure your head would overflow with information by the end of this talk, anyway. “What did Mike mean when he said he’d have to… drain me on purpose? mean, he didn’t know what I was at that point. Did he lie to me?”

“Ah, right. He didn’t lie. You see, he wasn’t feeding at the time. There would have been no reason for him to drink a large quantity of blood. Does that answer your question?" You nodded in reply to his asking. “Perfect. Moving on to the other chemical. That’s what is responsible for the… It’s been described as a ‘warm, fuzzy feeling’ you experienced during the… exchange. That one has an effect on us, too, if we take it in. It causes the overwhelming urge to take care of and protect you.”

“That’s what that was?”

Sherlock smiles apologetically. “Yes, it was. I’m sorry for not explaining it then and there, but it’s a very strong sense of protectiveness, and it had been a while since I’d fed in general, let alone from a natural. I was a bit preoccupied.”

“It’s okay,” you said, and you meant it.

“That chemical is also what made you so inclined to offer to let me feed. It was a rather strong urge, wasn’t it?” Indeed, it had been. So strong, even, that you doubted whether or not you would have been able to ignore it.

“And those things don’t happen when feeding on a normal human?”

“Indeed it doesn’t. We’ve managed to synthesize the chemical that serves as a painkiller and makes regeneration faster, which is what we now use to allow for safe feeding. But we haven’t been able to recreate the other one. Again, I unfortunately can’t tell you why. Efforts have been made. I suppose it’s hardly necessary to recreate that one, in fact it would be counterproductive to elicit that effect on purpose. Oh well…”

“So, voluntary feeders aren’t in pain, and you don’t have to worry about them afterwards. That sounds like a better deal than feeding on a natural.”

“It isn’t. It’s always better than feeding on an unwilling donor, or someone in pain – who isn’t enjoying that pain. But your kind have…”

“The a5 Wagyu of blood?” You couldn’t quite figure out whether or not that sounded like a brag, but it was out now, time to just roll with it.

“Exactly.”

"And feeding on another vampire? How does that compare? How is it even possible?" You were starting to feel awkward about your relentless curiosity, but Sherlock assured you that it was no problem whatsoever.

"Ah. We'll keep it simple. You know vampires drink blood."

"Obviously, I was lunch not even an hour ago." As if you could ever forget the most basic bit of vampire knowledge out there.

“Right. Logically, vampires can feed on anything that has blood.” “So vampires have blood?”

“Correct. Our metabolism works differently; it processes blood we drink and turns it into our own, which then functions as the fuel for our bodies. It’s as fulfilling as human blood, but the only way for us to come by more of it is to feed. We don’t make more blood. We also don’t taste as good. Alright, we taste very bad.” Sherlock laughed, and it sounded almost sarcastic.

“And human food?”

“That tastes absolutely fine, but metabolizing costs far more energy, because our system isn’t wired for it. It takes about five times as much food to sustain us than it does you.”

It looked like it was finally time to ask the question you’d been avoiding: “When Mike said you all hoped…”

“Ah,” Sherlock wasn’t surprised you asked the question. “When you said ‘McBloodDrive’, that wasn’t far off – conceptually. But it lacked a lot of depth and feeling. I understand your resistance to the idea, but would you allow me to explain?”

“Isn’t that why we’re here?” You tried to conjure up a smile – and failed miserably.  

“Good point. Where to begin… First of all; it’s like you said. You have the blood-equivalent of A5 Wagyu running through your veins. Can we at least agree it’s understandable they want a taste of that?” Alright, you couldn’t deny that without lying… “So part of it is a bit of jealousy towards Mike.”

“Mikey doesn’t… He hasn’t…” You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks again at Sherlock’s suggestion.

“He would have asked sooner or later,” Sherlock said, sounding fairly sure of himself, “knowing Mike, it would have been sooner rather than later.” Even you had to admit that that sounded entirely plausible.

“Besides, most humans get curious at some point. I mean. You did.” He made a vague gesture at your neck.

“Are you saying I would have asked him to feed on me at some point?”

“There’s a very strong possibility.” You had to admit you’d been curious, and as much as you hated to admit it now, there had been a part of you that had been wondering what it felt like if someone were to feed on you. Of course the events of this afternoon had satisfied that curiosity – but there was still definitely something inside you that wouldn’t mind doing it again.

Sherlock then went on to explain that these relationships were not just for the benefit of the vampires, but also for your kind. Adverse effects for you were minimal if not nonexistent – though in the olden days, a natural would have been expected to be available without question, at all times. You, however, still couldn’t fathom being anything other than…

“A McBloodDrive?” he asked with a sardonic chuckle. You shrugged. It was really the only thing you could come up with.

“You’re underestimating the nature of the relationship. They are really rather intimate – it’s inescapable. You wouldn’t simply be a food source. Dear Lord, how do I explain this… I can’t do this well, I’m sorry. I think I may need the others. Are you okay with that?” You nodded. Sherlock gave them a quick call, asking them to come back to the apartment before returning to your conversation.

“And… They were gunning for a steady thing, right?” The answer to your question was affirmative. From here on out, the questions that bubbled up in your mind were no longer coherent, the next no longer a continuation of the former – it was a mess, that was the only way you could describe it.

“Those… arrangements… are they common?”

“They are not. In fact, they’re quite rare. Many naturals capitalize on their assets, so to speak.”

“You can make money off it?”

“Oh yes. Quite a lot, too. Some of us pay good money for a steady arrangement with one of you.” He explained a type of relationship that was very reminiscent of a sort of sugar daddy type of setup – not something you were interested in at all. Others, he said, were just able to afford regular feedings from naturals, but the general setting for the establishments that offered those services was much more relaxed, more comfortable, and much more exclusive and therefore less crowded.  

“These arrangements… what are they like?” you asked when he explained all of this to you.

“What are you really asking me?” By now you had definitely learned that not much escaped this guy’s attention.

“Is it a sex thing?” You felt blood rush to your cheeks as you asked your question, but you had to know. And you didn’t find it weird, either.

“Is that what this afternoon felt like?” You quickly shook your head. That definitely hadn’t been sexual, although it was absolutely very intimate.

“The intimacy is a given in the kind of situation you would end up with us.” He said ‘us’, you noticed, so he wasn’t opposed to the idea, either. He did express that there was a possibility that such agreements occasionally did lead to deeper feelings of intimacy between participants. It led you to question whether one of you and four of them would be weird, to which Sherlock answered that the other way around would be much stranger.

“Have you ever been involved in such an arrangement?” you asked carefully. Your curiosity was really getting the better of you, and you didn’t know if you could contain it any longer. “You don’t have to answer! I don’t mean to pry. If it’s personal, by all means, don’t tell me.”

“It’s alright, darling, it is personal, but I am more than happy to share the story,” he said. It answered your question; it was obviously a ‘yes’. “It was just over five hundred years ago.” That shocked you, and you realized you had never asked the guys how old they were. Your surprise must have been apparent, because Sherlock answered the question you had never dared ask.

“I am just under nine hundred years old,” he said, “Marshall and August a little over four. Mike was born in the sixties.”

“He’s just a baby?” Somehow you found that incredibly endearing.

“Don’t say that to him. August would be quick to agree with you, though.” Sherlock let out another one of his dark chuckles. The sound of them was incredibly soothing.

“Where were you five hundred years ago?” you whispered. It seemed like such a strange thing to ask.

“English court,” he answered, “serving as a court physician under Henry XIII. The first Duke of Suffolk – Charles Brandon – was one of us, and he had… procured one of your kind – don’t ask me how, I have no idea and I doubt I want to know – to feed on. For services rendered he offered me… access, so to speak. It was a rather clean-cut business arrangement, as impersonal as could be. He refused to allow me to tend to her, afterwards, which made it hard on me, occasionally.”

“How so?” you asked, wondering out loud what would have happened if you had told him to back off.

“Nothing would have happened, per se, but it is a very strong, uncomfortable feeling of needing to do something, desperately wanting to take care of someone, and not being able to. It soured my mood rather thoroughly.” He chuckled softly again, but the sound had a melancholic ring to it, this time. The memories clearly struck a chord with him, still, and you weren’t surprised at all when he changed the subject.

“The others will be back soon,” he said hoarsely before clearing his throat, “I suggest you take another minute, because this wasn’t the last long talk of the day, I’m afraid.”

#mike hellraiser fic #mike x ofc #mike hellraiser #mike (hellraiser) #hellraiser mike #mike hellraiser fanfiction #henrycavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #henry cavill characters #walter marshall #hc sherlock #henry cavill sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes #august walker #august walker fanfiction

[french-teapot]

Hey all!

I really wanted to sit down and write this out, just in case it might help anyone. Since so many people were so kind to help with suggestions when I was suffering with that UTI, I found a couple of other options that may be beneficial to some people.

It might be a little long, so I'll put it under a read more.

I'm still not 100% back to normal, but I've done repeated urine tests at the doctor, and there isn't even an infection anymore. It seems to just be a really stubborn inflammation, and it was recently getting to a point where I was really just mentally and emotionally wiped from it. It was never super bad, but obviously if you feel uncomfortable non-stop for weeks it really gets to you eventually, and last Saturday I was in tears again just from the frustration, especially since we're due to go away in a few weeks and I just want it to be gone. Nothing I got from the pharmacy did anything.

Now, my boyfriend's mother, while not a doctor or anything, is very good with researching natural remedies due to her own ongoing ailments and reluctance to rely too much on medications. A lot of what she knows is very 'old-wives-tale' style knowledge, but especially when it comes to more natural options, she knows a lot about the history of the plant and how old cultures would have used them.

Please keep in mind that everything I'm suggesting may not suit you. These have helped me immensely in the last couple of days, but they certainly haven't cured me. They may also be things you're allergic to, or if you take medications, may react with them. So please take everything I say with a pinch of salt, and common sense.

So these are what she suggested:

The three main things I've been taking are dandelion (flower and leaves), plantain herb (leaves) and nettle (I just bought this in tea bags).

I brew a tea mixture from them, and they've helped so much already. Apparently they're all diuretics, and help with urinary support and health. But they've given me a lot of relief considering they're all just plants you probably already have everywhere in your garden.

Both dandelion and nettle can be bought as regular tea bags, so that might be easier, especially since there's special preparation for nettles due to their sting.

This might be more common knowledge that I think, but it's certainly something I didn't know about, and I definitely didn't realise how potent they are. And since the majority of plant-related uti advice I think most people hear about it 'drink cranberry stuff', there's not as much emphasis on these.

ALSO. I just started this today as well, but this is something I did know about - eating raw garlic. I've just been chopping a few cloves on some buttered bread, and it's delicious. Garlic is also pretty brilliant for a lot of things, so even just in general I would recommend eating it like that. Or with some honey, whatever gets it down for you if you're able to eat it.

I'd really really recommend if anyone suffers from bladder issues at all, please do some research on this, because even in a matter of like, two days, it's really boosted my mood and general wellbeing.

Obviously I'm still going to the doctor. That's not ruled out, and I'd never tell anyone to rely only on plant remedies when medication could do more. But these have just helped a lot in the meantime.

Thanks to all of you who helped me before, I just wanted to add something back! c:

#uti #diuretic #dandelion #nettle #plantain herb #uti help

[fox-and-fischer]

Ramblings on Intention V.S. Application

*note: All of my posts are going to reflect my personal practice and my experiences; my UPG. Nothing I say is meant to be interpreted as a rule or a fact of magic, but instead as one perspective out of many.*

The discussion on the importance of intent V.S. the importance of the physical tools, actions, and ingredients is one that's been going on for years, it seems. For what it's worth, I think both matter, but I did think of what I think is a decent analogy for how I view it: today, we'll be looking at a painting.

For the sake of this post, intent/intention is going to be defined as the mental, focused aspect of the spell, while the applied elements are going to be things like tools, items, spoken elements, methods, etc.

When I was coming up as a witch, intent was THE buzzword to use. Everyone talked about setting intentions, acting with intent, putting intent into something, yada yada yada, but very few people ever actually defined what it was or described what that looked like.

Doing something with intent means that there is an intentionality to it: you are focused, present, and aware of where your mind is and you have it directed towards a certain goal.

Let's use use our painting analogy: you're trying to look at a painting. You want to study at the color, the texture, the form, the technique; you want this painting to affect you in some way. You want be intentional in how you're studying that painting.

If your mind is aloof, you won't take in the full picture. You may notice the main elements, but subtler details will be lost on you, and you may even forget it if new works were shown to you. If you were looking at that painting with intent, you would start to pick up on the nuances and may even find something that resonates with you. In this case, your intent is what allowed the painting to have any impact on you.

In the case of magic, it's much the same. If you mindlessly throw rosemary, thyme, salt, black pepper, and garlic into a mortar and pestle, grind it up, put that powder in a jar, and melt a candle over the jar lid, all you have made is a spice blend. Maybe good for cooking, but magically, it's null. If you took those same ingredients and invoked them, however, you could definitely have something magically influential, because you acted with intent and care. You imbued those elements with a power to impact the world through your ritual focus.

That said, intent isn't everything, either. You cannot be impacted by a painting if there is no painting there. Expanding on that, it's unlikely that you'd be impacted by a painting that has little to no relation to what you're looking for: if you're looking for a piece that would really resonate with grief and a crisis of faith, a painting of a basket of fruit or a horse grazing in a field are unlikely to be helpful to you.

From the perspective of magic, that means that your ingredients and other physical aspects need to be harmonious with your intent. If you want to perform a blessing for a good marriage, but have blood, rusted nails, lemons, and dragon's blood jasper as components, it's unlikely that that working will be successful.

I hope this makes sense, and I'm more than happy to elaborate on things or discuss in general with other people! Do you agree? Do you not agree? Tell me why; I'd love to chat! :D

#witchcraft #witchblr #spellwork #spells #spellcasting #hemlock talks about its practice #from the witch's queue

[bonefall]

I mean fermented doesnt necessarily mean alcoholic - after all kimchi is made with fermented cabage and bread is fermented too. So is yogurt and a ton of other things we eat. Theres even some meats that are fermented for dishes too.

This is very true! And I did look into a couple of other things that are fermented-- but the problem with cats having anything fermented at all is yeast.

(CW: I talk about yeast, fermentation, alcohol, and the horrors of what yeast can do to a cat's belly. Skip this one if medical discussion of a cat in pain upsets you!)

In fact it's good you mentioned bread, because I was just looking at different types of unleavened bread exactly for this reason. If a cat eats raw dough, yeast can actually ferment in their stomach! This does exactly what you think it would, it turns their body into a chemical nightmare, distending their belly and causing alcohol poisoning

(doing research for these projects is like taking a class on how DURABLE human being are, it's insane! This isn't even unique to cats! Pure carnivores are so fragile!)

The baking process would kill all the yeast inside of the bread, but I decided that I would just not work with it. Unleavened bread and alternate rising agents are cool so I decided to explore those instead. I even found this one really interesting tidbit about how apparently bannock from Britain and bannock from American Indigenous people in America may have evolved independently, down to the linguistic roots being different.

BUT ANYWAY back to yeast

So when I was looking at fermented products, I was looking for things where there isn't yeast present, but also checked off my other rules; namely, that Clan cats are obligate carnivores.

-Kimchi is fermented vegetables, a lot of work for a Warrior to get no nutritional value. Not to mention that without pepper, garlic, and fish sauce it's just... sad cabbage. (also go watch this cool video I found about one of the last traditional onggi pot makers left in Korea because this is actually a very beautiful craft and my life has been enriched by seeing how much care goes into this process)

-This also eliminates sauerkraut, which is a more region-friendly take on fermented cabbage. No nutritional value to the cats.

-Miso can be made from barley but it requires a region-unfriendly type of fungus (Re: The reason I usually start with British tech and work backwards, another example of this principle in action)

-Yogurt and Cheese are dairy products. Warriors are lactose intolerant to begin with, but also don't have an animal they can milk on a regular basis. I don't think a nearby sheep or cow would stay still long enough for a warrior to sit and milk them

What I DID find that we could make, though?

-Vinegar. As long as it's used sparingly and diluted, it can be used as a basis for other recipes including Worcestershire sauce. Though from what I read, cat aversion to the smell of vinegar is legendary.

But I will rule vinegar-based sauces under the 'Stronger Stomachs' exception.

In addition, vinegar is an EXCELLENT cleaning product and something I can keep in mind as an excellent antibiotic next to honey.

-Hard sausage. Pepperoni, chorizo, salami... aside from finagling with the spices I have access to, hard sausage is totally within my reach and sounds like a perfect ShadowClan recipe.

-Something that breaks down poison. I'm willing to be a little bit flippant about the biology of one type of insect or animal to make a Warrior Cat version of hakarl, specifically because I want to show off ShadowClan's crafty food culture and how good they are at creative problem solving.

This one will be in addition to "slug-purging", because I learned some really neat stuff about how to make wild gastropods safe to eat and it'll be a really really cool thing to include in a "How ShadowClan can eat things other Clans can't" type entry

Come to think of it, fermentation would definitely be a very ShadowClan-based activity...

And lastly,

Alcohol

It just feels... wrong to me that there would be a culture of sapient cats who don't use any alcohol at all. Getting tweaked on purpose is practically the mark of a species' intelligence. Dolphins, elephants, monkeys, crows... all recorded finding ways to turn their terrible brains off.

So I do want to make an entry on alcoholic fermentation too, it's just like I said though, it'll take a while to get to because I have dumb math brain and a To-Do list.

But for right now, I've got another ask to answer that will give you a good "basic" alcohol for your cats if you so choose

#TW alcohol #Alcohol #Fermentation #Medical discussion #tw animal illness #animal illness #Clan Culture #Clan Culture Mini Entry

[fishsfailureson]

I made soup this evening

My parents had been out for several hours and I had realised that me and my older brother would have to sort dinner out by ourselves- so I decided that the best option would be to rummage through the fridge and the pantry, gather up what ingredients we had and throw them in a pot. We had no meat that was not frozen, but I could make do with vegetables.

I've made many improvised meals before- following the whims of my heart rather than any recipe (in fact that is how I normally prefer to cook). Generally I use the same building blocks but I tweak it slightly depending on how I'm feeing or what's available. I used beef stock this time simply because we had an open container with enough liquid for two people (and a bit left over). For the vegetables I used two small potatoes, a small white onion, a couple spring onions that needed to be used up and two brown mushrooms (we only had a couple). For herbs I used parsley, rosemary and thyme from our garden. I added some garlic, black pepper, salt and some spice mix that my mother and I bought in a farmer's market while on holiday. Because I felt like being a little fancy I added a small splash of red wine vinegar as well (we have way too many vinegars and oils in our cupboard- might as well use them).

As I stirred the soup, I started wondering about what brought upon the circumstances that created that moment. What echoes of the distant past could be heard in the soft swishing of the broth or the hum of the stove's fan? What tragedies and triumphs culminated in me standing there in my family's kitchen stirring a pot of soup? Frankly, it's a silly thing to think about.

When we think of consequences of historical events we rarely think of the smaller ones- which is understandable, as they're often a lot less noticeable. Sometimes these small consequences will have much greater consequences of their own- perhaps earning them a place in the history books.

It feels oddly surreal to me that something as simple as picking a handful of parsley might have long-reaching consequences. There's something both terrifying and comforting about that knowledge. Terrifying because I fear what pain I may bring upon this earth, but comforting, because it means that my life might matter a little. Maybe the consequences won't be so bad.

I'm sure when my great-great-great grandfather came to this country he had no idea that I would be able to search up his name on some bizarre device and find actual information about his life. He had no idea I would ever type our ancestor's name (someone who was important enough to get a short wikipedia page in Danish) into this machine and sigh in frustration because almost all the information is in his mother tongue- a language that I do not speak yet. I'm sure he'd have no idea that I would exist- and that I would be standing there in a kitchen, stirring soup, and thinking of him and countless other people who would've stared in wonder at the life I lead.

Maybe none of this makes sense. Frankly, I don't know what I'm talking about right now or why I'm typing this. It's late, and I've been doing a lot of thinking today. I wrote a poem about a house sparrow with a political message my parents would not approve of, I watched a video about wikipedia table of content poetry, I've drawn some art. But honestly? Nothing makes much sense if you stare at it enough, so I might as well go with the flow.

Oh, and the soup was nice by the way.

#uuhhh what do I tag this with #personal #food #soup #soup posting #my apologies to everyone who read this I know it's confusing #I'm confused by it as well.