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spoofymcgee · 1 year

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star trek fic recs:

(i've never done this before so bear with me)

TOS:

- Spoctoria series by @waldorph and @screamlet

WC: 78k / Rating: Explicit / Status: Complete / Relationship: Spirk, Spock & Sybok, Spock & T'pring / Genre: Longform Plot, Falling in Love, Royalty AU

Summary: "Spock is heir to the Federation throne, Jim is Prince of America because his fucking brother abdicated, and the Klingons are on the verge of blowing shit up--a love story."

(listen. listen. literally anything by these two authors will be the best thing you've ever read. but this series? blew my fucking mind with how good it was. something about the the way jim and spock are written, combined with the setting they're in and various bits about the universe is just so delightful. it's been three months and i still think about this series every day)

- The Longest Year series by A_Noone and Hinya_O_Elena

WC: 140k / Rating: Explicit / Status: WIP / Relationship: McSpirk / Genre: Longform Plot, TOS Structure, Self-discovery

Summary: "Leonard McCoy has been through some shit. A terrible divorce, losing his kid, and terrifying life-long spooky weirdness due to having his psionic potential catalyzed by God-Knows-What in high school. When his best friend, James Kirk, finally took command of the Enterprise, things seemed to be looking up -- right up until that damnable green blooded hobgoblin got involved.

This is the Second Year of the Five Year Mission as it could have gone, with angsty romance, harrowing adventures, metaphysical revelations, and McCoy discovering that James Kirk and Spock care more about him that he'll ever know."

(this is one of my favorite hidden gems. it manages to pull of first person pov so excellently, it's dry and witty and funny, the plot is constructed really well)

- To Catch a Fish by Darksknight

WC: 15k / Rating: Mature / Status: Complete / Relationship: Spirk / Genre: Crack, Humor, Fluff

Summary: "Spock’s realized that while he treasures his deep friendship with Jim, he’s come to desire more. He sets out to tell Jim of his feelings, but finds the task... considerably more difficult than he'd first imagined it to be."

(spock is in love with jim. all that's left is to tell him. unfortunately, jim's having a little bit of trouble getting that through his head, so spock has to figure out how to say it in human terms. it's. it's great, go read it. spock catches him two fish and literally sweeps him off his feet, sarek quotes spice girls, and. just read it, please. i promise you won't regret it)

- love is an affliction by WerewolvesAreReal

WC: 5k / Rating: Teen / Status: Complete / Relationship: Spirk, McSpirk / Genre: Crack, Humor

Summary: "“A condition – you're sick? With spontaneous flowers? How do I get rid of them?”

“You do not."

(Or: Hanahaki disease is not fatal, but it is exclusive to Vulcans. Honestly, death would be more dignified.)"

(DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GO READ THIS RIGHT NOW. it's the funniest fucking fic on the entire internet, and i love it with a passion. all of the author's stuff is excellent, especially their fic Ni'Var, but this one lives rent free in my head and i love it beyond words)

- Compromises (The Bridge Between) by purpleeyesandbowties

WC: 30k / Rating: Teen / Status: Complete / Relationship: Spock & OC, Spirk / Genre: Character Study, Coming of Age, Self-discovery

Summary: "There were only three Vulcans at Starfleet Academy. One was a professor. The other was a third year science student, finishing up two credits before a mid-year graduation. The last was T'rin. There had been other Vulcans in the past, but all had graduated before T'rin enrolled. They were all Science track. T'rin was Command track. Her advisor, S'chn T’gai Spock, recommended she enroll in Introduction to Vulcan: Language, History, and Culture, co-taught by himself and a Professor James Kirk.

In which there are cats, classes, compromises, and an unacceptable number of highly emotional conversations.

(i have a fuckin huge soft spot for old married spirk, but that aside, t'rin is the best y'all. i love her so much. she's so cool)

AOS:

- Graduate Vulcan For Fun And Profit by @lazulisong

WC: 15k / Rating: Teen / Status: Complete / Relationship: Jim & and OC, Spirk / Genre: Humor, Character Study

Summary: "It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

The members of the Kelvin's crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them."

(hhhhh this fic made me feel so many things. the characters are written so well and the structure of the writing is so cool. everything by lazulisong is excellent but this fic in particular is my favorite)

- Sacra Familiae series by Joules Mer

WC: 22k / Rating: Teen / Status: Complete / Relationship: McKirk, Pike/Boyce / Genre: Character Study, Relationship Study, Slice of Life, Recovery

Summary: "It makes the skin on the back of his neck prickle— the strangeness of it. There’s a lassitude in his limbs and a tightness in his chest and as a confused shock of jumbled memories and pain come back Chris hears a heart monitor give a little blip of alarm and can’t help but wonder, Am I dead?"

(this series contains some of my favorite pile fics ever. it manages to capture his character so well and the relationships in it feel so fleshed out despite the fact that it's fairly short as a series. it's sweet and a little sad and it made me cry a bit)

- hexagons impromptu trek week 2k21 series by @hexagon

WC: 23k / Rating: Teen / Status: Complete / Relationship: Pike & Kirk, QPL McKirk / Genre: Character Study, Slice of Life

Summary: “"You’ve been so brave, James,” he whispers, and Jim lets out the slightest exhale of shock, his mouth falling open.

or: captaincies and self-doubts and chris finally getting to tell jim he's proud of him"

(this is, hands down, my favorite st slice of life fic. no contest. the dynamic between pike and jim is. indescribable, but it did make me cry quite a bit. the relationship between mccoy and kirk is happy dance worthy, and i don't say that lightly)

- Everything That Disappears by @sagesiren

WC: 20k / Rating: M / Status: Complete / Relationship: McSpirk / Genre: Character Study, Relationship Study, Slice of Life, Falling in Love

Summary: "Jim dropped his duffel and grinned at him. “You’re still calling me ‘kid,’ even though you have a kid now? I love the hair, by the way,” he said, coming over and running a hand through it before turning, smiling down at Jo in the high chair. “This her?”

“No, she’s the decoy kid. I’m hiding the other toddler somewhere else,” Leonard said, rolling his eyes at him.

Or, the one where Leonard is fresh out of gender affirmation surgery, given custody of the daughter he didn't know he had, and in an open relationship with Jim where they don't tell each other anything about their partners."

(ahhhh!!! this fic. just. all of it. jo is such a realistic baby, which is a weird holdup, but i hate when kids are talking dolls instead of the tiny little dumpster fires they are in real life. bones is written delightfully well, the twist at the end is so good and all around an excellent fic)

- VaYehi series by @trekkele

WC: 10k / Rating: Gen / Status: Complete / Relationship: Jim & the bridge crew, Jim & Spock / Genre: Character Study, Slice of Life

Summary: "Every starship Captain has their quirks.

This is less about Kirks, and more about what lies at the heart of it.

In which Jim has his secrets, McCoy is overprotective, the crew learns something new, and Spock is curious. Of course he is."

(these are my absolute favorite jewish trek fics ever. the bridge scene in the first one lives rent free in my head and i actually spent all of wednesday afternoon drawing it instead of studying for midterms. i love the examination of jim's relationship with his judiasm–how he's proud of it but scared of people knowing. it really touched a thread in my heart)

#tos #star trek #star trek tos #aos #star trek aos #jim kirk #mr spock #bones mccoy #spirk #mcspirk #chris pike #fic rec #star trek fic rec #star trek fic recs #star trek fanfiction #i love all of these so much

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justalittlerandomartist · 6 months

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intro

my birthday is in 5 hours, so I’ll introduce myself since you don’t know who I am.

My name is Vicky, though you can call me D.C. if you’d like. I’m a Scorpio and I like to draw and write. I’m currently writing 2 web series, and might release finalized designs later. I adore rgtk and Wordgirl, also rottmnt. My bestie is @urlocalweirdperson1232 and you should go follow them. That’s about it. Oh, and my pronouns are she/they. I take requests for any of the fandoms specified here: rottmnt, tadc, Wordgirl, tts, rgtk, and some others listed in my bio.

I am quadrilingual, trying to become a hyper polyglot. I speak German, french, spanish, and english. I may learn arabic but if anything my fifth language will be klingon.

side blogs: @thathastagbiotch(fanfiction)

@hellsfavoriteradiodemon

@h3llish-highschool

@ang3l-margi3

@numberonehorselover

@no-im-not-royalty

@hells-bell3

@h3lls-b3ll3

BTW I AM A MINOR, NOTHING HORNY HERE.

#intro post #introduction #introduction post

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thelandswemadeofpaper · 6 months

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Authority

Alliance

Evil Power Vacuum

In Its Hour of Need

Playing/Running Both Sides

The Man Behind the Man

Voluntary Vassal

The Missing Faction

Lonely at the Top

Civil War

Enemy Civil War

Brain Drain

Sorcerer's Apprentice Plot

Ambitious Lesser Noble

War and Battle Trophy

Isolationism

A City Sacked

Peace Treaty

Ban on Magic

Royal Decree

Envoy

Trade

Garrison

Siege/Besiege

Restoration

Servitude

Slavery (Race? Mooks?)

Submission

Tame

Dowry

Honor and Reputation

Rumors

Good Princess, Evil Queen

Demilitarising

Monopoly of Resource (can be a more abstract thing, like the Sun?)

Devasted Land After War

Inheritance

Fallen Princess

Finders Rulers

Rightful King Returns

Orphan Heir

Inadequate Inheritor

Superior Successor

Disinherited Child

Lost Orphaned Royalty

Denied/Stolen Heritage

Denied Position/Candidate

Passed-Over Inheritance

Mother Makes you King

Hidden Backup Heir

Spare to the Throne

Rejecting the Inheritance

Only Surviving Candidate

Royalty Superpower

Former Rulling Dynasty

Nepotism

Royal Blood

Long Lost Heir

Second Son

Position

Conqueror

Tyrant

Rulling Couple

Puppet King

Alleged Boss

Fake King

New Master

Shared Position

Unaware Position

Questioned Position

Unwanted Position

Klingon Promotion

Demoted to Dragon

Stripped of Titles

Dragon Ascendant

Offered the Crown

Abdicate the Throne

Abdication in Shame

Regent for a Life

Weak Leader

Naive New Ruler

Reluctant Ruler

We Can Rule Together

Rash Grey Ruler/Bait-and-Switch Tyrant

Throne Battle (cousins? siblings? uncle?)

Heir-in-Law

Usurper/Usurped (what happened to the usurped? Run Away? Locked Up? Killed?)

Successor/Predecessor (how the they got the position? Their relationship?)

Disgraced

Stolen Lands

Second Place

Vacant Position

Rebellious Rebel

Society and Nobility

Social Hierarchy

Colony

Capital

Split Folk

Foreign

Fantastic Caste System

Ethnicity Monarch

Foreign Ruling Class

Interclass Friendship or Romance

Class Segregation

Nobility Marries Money

Nouveau Riche

Rags to Riches/Royalty

Rich Suitor, Poor Suitor

Crapsaccharine World

Adopted into Royality

Royal Bastard

Minor House

Branch House

The Outsider Befriends the Best

Impoverished Patrician

#authority #power #society #political #tv tropes

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ao3feed-spirk · 1 year

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because you saw me when i was invisible

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44136702

by arsoney

Some days, James T. Kirk has good days. There's no-one in medbay, the Klingons aren't attacking, the science department is buzzing over some new breakthrough they're just on the verge of, and he'll play chess with Spock as soon as their shift is over. That's great. Those are the best days.

Some day, James T. Kirk has bad days. He, or worse, someone else, is in medbay, the Klingons shoot first, the science department's latest breakthrough goes horribly wrong and there's no time to play chess with Spock. That's fine. He can deal with that. The day is always saved.

And some days, James T. Kirk doesn't listen on an interspace Zoom call, accidentally signs up to court the new Vulcan High Prince, and Sulu won't stop laughing at him. And, even worse, Spock's gone away for "family matters".

(Or, spirk royalty au princess diaries-style romcom literally no one asked for except me)

Words: 1945, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Nyota Uhura, Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, Michael Burnham, T'Pring (Star Trek), T'Pau (Star Trek)

Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, background Nyota Uhura/T'Pring - Relationship, Crew of the Starship Enterprise & Everyone, Michael Burnham & Spock, Spock & T'Pring (Star Trek)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Romantic Comedy, T'hy'la, Oblivious James T. Kirk, Arranged Marriage, kind of, minor kidnapping, Canon-Typical Xenophobia, Leonard "Bones" McCoy is So Done, Vulcan Culture, Empress of Vulcan T'Pau, Prince Spock, Suitor Jim, Accidental Marriage, except it's accidental signing up to be a suitor, Alternate Universe - Princess Diaries Fusion, princess dairies from michael's pov if it is a fusion but i'm still tagging it, Dancing Lessons, BAMF Nyota Uhura, help i can't write summaries, no beta we die like none of these characters canonically did RIGHT, Not Canon Compliant - Star Trek: Discovery

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44136702

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #spirk

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icarusthelunarguard · 1 year

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This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

Aries

You had a great time in High School Orchestra, but always felt there was something missing, right? Well wonder no more! Because the Stars have provided closure for you. There actually ARE Marching Bands composed of Symphonic Orchestra instruments. Except for the bass and cello players, everyone can carry their instruments easily. The basses can wear a harness and play sideways, but cello players? Have you ever seen someone play side saddle in a mini skirt? That’s why you don’t have marching orchestras. Viola players? We’re being nice to you this week… Remember that!

Taurus

This weekend is going to be stressful for you. The weather will turn colder with rain and high wind at night. You don’t have to worry about the power going out, but strange noises might keep you awake. The sewage exhaust pipe out the top of your house is going to make the water levels in your pipes do weird things and make strange sounds. Unless you hear water splattering, you’re OK.

Gemini

You asked for a holiday-Themed ‘Scope, so here we go. For those of you that like store-bought eggnog, trust us when we say Home Made Is Far Better! Learn how to do it first, expect to make a few mistakes like scrambling the eggs, but… once you’ve got it, it’ll be amazing! And the extra calories will be just what you’ll need to handle the upcoming cold snap.

Cancer Moon-Child

On the old Addams Family TV show, Gomez loved blowing up his trains. Had a crank detonator and everything. These days you could do something similar, but with all those electronics you still have lying around. Get a couple old barrel capacitors, wire them up to a sufficiently-strong power supply, and you’ve got a low-grade explosive to simulate sticks of dynamite. The big question is, What Gauge Trains To Get? O, HO, S, or G?

Leo

Remember the movie “City Slickers”. Couple guys from the ‘burbs decide to try guiding cattle across the countryside without getting killed in the process? What does it say that the old guy, who’d done the job for years was the one to die in the end. Or, you know… NOT die in the sequel. OH, screw you! We’re not giving “SPOILER” warnings for a movie that’s been out since 1991!

Virgo

Nothing to be afraid about. There aren’t going to be tarantulas in your bagged bananas. What you should be worried about is how radioactive those things are. Yes, Potassium-40 is radioactive, but the amount of bananas you’d have to eat to notice it would be… Let’s just go with the scientific measurement of, “A LOT!”

Libra

Here’s a few things to remember: a “Klaxon” is an alarm, “Flaxen” is a version of blond hair color, and “Klingon” is a race of aliens from Star Trek. Plus, and this is really important to remember… The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true. Just remember that at your next family gathering.

Scorpio

There are different driving conventions once you get into the rural parts of the country during bad weather. During the day the center-line divider is more a suggestion than a rule when there’s drifting snow. This week just remember which side of the road you’re supposed to be driving on… especially if you’re visiting France from England.

Sagittarius

Your hubris is at an all time high this week. Remind yourself to slow down, listen more, talk less, and for crying out loud! If you don’t know anything about a topic just shut the hell up. Yeah, this is your Tough Love Wakeup call for the week. You’re welcome.

Capricorn

People are going to treat you like royalty this week. Don’t be flattered - it’s how some store employees earn bonuses on any sales you make with them. Extended warranties on electronics really aren't needed, Buy-One Get-One sales on DVDs aren't so bad, but please just pass on any food-stuff items in the grocery store “Clearance” section. Unless it’s chocolate!

Aquarius

You’ve been good for the last few weeks, not buying any on-sale snacks. But it’s December and you’ve earned it. Splurge just a little on… ok, you didn’t hear this one from us, but… Get yourself the Ferrero Rocher Grand Holiday Hollow Milk Chocolate and Hazelnut Ornament. Imagine this; it’s a chocolate geode with hazelnuts on the inside! ENJOY!

Pisces

Movie Soundtracks are annoying to buy. Are you going to get the one with the orchestral music, or the popular music from the movie? If it’s going to be a gift, you better ask the sales staff which disk is which… then buy them both since they won’t know either. Spending the extra $20 isn’t the worst part: it’ll be when the recipient asks what a CD is. Start holiday drinking now.

And THOSE are your Hobble-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.

#horrorscope #horoscope #parody #humor #funny #chocolates

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ambassadorquark · 2 years

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in dungeonscum of course there’s no concept of evil races bc that sucks but i do think goblins tend chaotic bc they’re funny little guys and it’s cute to me if they love mischief. and with the exception of like ancient goblin royalty are historically, like, anarcho communists. and orcs are super lawful bc they’re just klingons in my setting sorry

#beep boop #i have a webcomic tag

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depizan · 2 years

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I'm not a fan of Protagonist Centered Narrativium. I want the "rules" of a work of fiction to be the same for Random Citizen #125 as it is for the main character, and it bothers me in works where that clearly isn't true.

I don't mean things like, say, Carrot having certain narrative advantages because he's The Rightful Heir (despite working as a city guard instead) in the books that originated (or at least named) the concept of Narrativium. Any Rightful Heir on Discworld would get those same advantages, for good or ill. I mean the narrativium equivalent of protagonist centered morality - works where it's super clear that the world just works differently for the protagonists as opposed to the common folk.

I guess I could also call this "What Measure is a Mook? The Plot Edition. (Since it's not so much about what the protagonists do or don't do as what the plot does.)

And I know that all fiction has this to some extent, but in some works it's subtle, and in some works it's a 50 foot flashing neon sign. In hot pink. Or, to be more thematically appropriate to many of those works, blood red.

I've even complained about this before, though I didn't have a catchy name for it then. At least I'm pretty sure my complaints about a historical mystery series that I consumed like popcorn (while complaining about it the whole while) included this issue. In that case, as in many, what it basically does is drop the work in a different place on that alignment of story/setting chart I'm so fond of depending on whether you look at what happens with the protagonists and what happens to everyone around them.

That historical mystery series wanted to be a little gritty and "realistic," except when it came to anything to do with the main character. If a random person survived being attacked with a bladed weapon, they got a scar. If the main character did, he somehow didn't. (Perhaps he's Wolverine's ancestor...) Being hit on the head might cause realistic brain damage if it happened to a random person, but our hero could be bonked on the head as regularly as Magnum PI (original flavor, no idea if it happens as often in nu! flavor) and suffered no ill effects. It's a dung ages version of history with grimdark outcomes for everyone but the main character and his family, who are somehow having a more noble experience. Possibly even a more bright experience, what with the magically healing wounds and all.

It's the problem I had with Jupiter Ascending, where the world is a gritty awful one unless you're the main character, at least once the plot runs into her. (And, yeah, maybe you could argue that it's supposed to be like Captain Carrot, what with her actually being space royalty by reincarnation and all, but it feels very different. In Discworld, it feels like you could have a book where there was an antagonist who also was a Rightful Heir which would lead to interesting trope shenanigans. In Jupiter Ascending, it feels like it's all about the main character having kind of a weird fairytale after having the most depressing what the fuck grimdark origin story ever.)

I feel like a lot of things I've tried that are on the grittier/grimmer/messier/whatever end of things have a real problem with this. Everyone around the main characters only exist to further the main character's (s') story - they're there to get splatted to make sure we know it's grim, while the Narrativium sweeps in and saves the protagonist(s).

And I know it's not unique to gritter things. It's arguably also the origin of Star Trek's red shirts and their unfortunate fates. Welp, we need to show that things are serious/the plants are carnivorous/there are Klingons lurking about. Guess we'd better off Ensign Whazizface. And suddenly away teams are only dangerous if you, as Guy so accurately put it in Galaxy Quest, don't have a name.

I guess I'm just a bit put off by fictional worlds in which only the protagonists have names. (Or very nearly.) I don't know. I feel like a lot of the tropes I don't like come down to some variant on the people as things problem, or some people being more people than other people. Chosen Ones, superheroes, Protagonist Centered Narrativium... Maybe it all boils down to knowing I'm Random Citizen #125 and not a protagonist, so I end up having too much sympathy for the people the plot expects me to accept as nothing more than props the protagonist's (s') journey.

#long post #Mac vs tropes #I guess it's tropes #on protagonist centered narrativium #I have really weird takes on fiction #Mac vs fiction

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rikerxworf · 2 years

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Space Royalty x Bodyguard AU where Will is the free-spirited prince trying to escape his father’s stranglehold, and Worf is the assigned Klingon bodyguard, all stern and dutiful but falling for the prince’s charm and recklessness

#there is a disney movie in here somewhere I Can Feel It #or trashy netflix christmas movie take your pick #text post #AU #headcanons #riker x worf #*#also bonus points if at one point will throws himself in front of worf to protect him from a phaser or smth

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honeysuckle-mc · 2 years

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Outfit 1

The challenge of this outfit was to use lace thigh-highs without creating an overly-sultry look. My favorite item here are the red leather heels, which really make the outfit with their glossiness and vibrant color. Their red is echoed in the sunglasses and handbag. The look corduroy blazer lends a dignified modesty to the look. The yellow top gives it a mod touch, and the blue of her necklace ads a cool note to the otherwise entirely warm toned outfit.

From top down: Vinyl Round Star Sunglasses, Millionaire Mansion Sunflower Turtleneck Top, Epiphany Eye Necklace BP, Bonjour Bizou Corduroy Blazer, Bonjour Bizou Houndstooth Skirt, Velvet Orchid Archived Reds Puzzle Bag, Callie’s Pop Up Shop Lace Thigh High Tights, Rio Archived Patent Red Mules.

Outfit 2

I styled this outfit around a very distincvtive black denim and plaid skirt.

I was a bit dissapointed that the studded belt on the skirt didn’t show more, but the fringed vest continued the Western theme the best out of all the alternative layers I looked at. The high white leather boots add glamor that’s echoed in the jewelry, but the star glasses bring whimsy. The outfit is completed with a bonnet with an oversized under-chin bow that feels like a risque choice, but it adds freshness that diverts it from falling into the typical “glammed country” look.

From top down: MS.TG Bonnet Hat, Spectacular! Star Glasses, The Jetset Gold Chain Necklace, Callie’s Pop Up Shop Klingon Vest, Velvet Orchid KISS T-Shirt Black, Fallen Angel Checked Denim Skirt, Epiphany Leather Arm Braclet Black BP, The Jetset High White Leather Boots

Outfit 3

This outfit was inspired lightly by the 1930s and 40s period murder mystery shows I have been watching lately. The earrings, neck scarf, and belt have a warm vintage feeling that is balanced out by the chunky geometric neutrals of her shoes, skirt, and bag. I loved the circular bag, and it is complemented by the orb earrings that actually have a scarab beetle at the top.

From top down: Epiphany Bug Gold Earrings BP, Pearls Yellow Scarf, Royalty V Checked Top, Trails Dancing Queen Leather Belt, Limited Adiciton Gray Skirt Man, Epiphany Richie Bracelet, Bonjour Bizou Archived Moss Green Chloe Inspired Bag, Vinyl White Socks, Bonjour Bizou Laced Up Heels

#stardoll #fashion #stardoll lookbook #not mc #my post

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shabba-zams · 4 years

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I'M NO MANIAC

Hold big regard for kinship, tradition and culture, I could give a lecture

I'm sky high - herbivore, like a turkey vulture I'm a carnivore

Canibal, I mean omnivore coz I love greens, like Popeye And Spinach, I lick bean

Flick flick, root Chakra, keep you grounded, kiss your forehead, illumination

Wham bam, burn incense this instant

Smoke in house, reminisce about my late aunt, Eugenia

Healing from a heartbreak of a love that never happened

Should never happen, wait what just happened?

You a bad bitch, downward doggy, hit it from the back, is that good B?

Meow-moo, look at that arch, Doja, Cat-Cow mi amor

Heart's aching, beneath I'm hurting although surface looks perfect

Instantly regretting the mistake I made, egghead getting laid

I was broke, couldn't think straight, Im still great, it's just that I hate

Constantly stressing, hope you not late, I'm Wylin, red fox

Sorry mate, don't put me on the spot unless we hot box

You a hot mess, you burn, guilt trip, in hell I burn, 12 stroke soul snatcher, soul searching,N2O, inhale, I burn, I'm trippin

My goodness, Zulu goddess, Tsonga royalty in her DNA, your highness hello, hi, my love I profess

Pussy power tricking, that tightness, finesse crazy like madness, she drippin

Her cookie jar I'm Double dippin, like yes ya, I praise ya, I'm smitten

You praise Ja, pet name for your small pussy... Poor lil kitten

Obsessed With fitness, admire her loyalty, I stay under her spell

First We gel, then repel, we then rebel, plz say you could not tell I fell for you girl!

I confess, your strange quirks remind me of my old ex

Guardian angel, I see your halo, okay bye! In darkness you my star

Naledi always shine bright, never dim light, eyes can adjust right?

No girl, tell me how could I not fall for you girl?

If I see you all day and night? Medicate then meditate

Last and first light I see you, it's hard to wake me up, ICU

Namaste, send u love and light. Hugging u gud nyt then imma go unless it's midnight, my pants is tight right and u hug me tight tight cutie, in my ear, QTip, u whisper get the light, deep throat gimme the green light, tonight you looking so tasty

It's not right, lockdown got me all thirsty, see, I'm nasty

I'll eat you out, gimme a big tip, face chair, take a sit please

Gangsta champagne, notorious bubbles I sip sip, are you pleased?

You a tall glass of sexy B, I mean u sassy B, sexy beast I gotta drink, drunk

In love with your positive energy, you love the inner me and you know I'm not the enemy, I love you

Juju, like bad energy, shoo shoo, telling me to go, I don't go

Feeling ur feng shui imbalance, tryinna find balance, yoga

So much green in my blood stream, feelin like Hulk or Yoda

I'm 1 with the force, a gulf stream directing ur flow, go

Heavy flow that weigh a ton, period. I go deep, you flow deep like the Nile, you lovin it

Tid bit in denial, plz don't judge unless you take a 9 mile walk if the shoe fit

Wise mentor, needed to blow off steam, oh no you make me sing, I never meant to...

I'm spiritual, Ultralight beam, living the life of Pablo, green

I see no light, stuck in the dark, this don't feel right

Fight what I feel, fight! I know you like what I write, right? I'm still Steve like Biko, because I write what I like

You're spiritual, Ivy crown it'll be alright, fight!

Where you been? Spiritual journey, Wrote you a song of love, don't panic, it's platonic agape kind

You're kind, im sorry, please forgive me, God bless us

Never meant to sex ya, sext ya, yes ya I never meant to

Hurt ya, my day 1 let me be in your team, I'm your hype man and you my wing man, who knew, man?

I'm a new man, never wanna be in u ma'am, that's Truman, like Harry

Like Harriet, You talk truth ma'am, ur woke now, mental slavery chain breaker

Lead, take leash, give me my freedom, Tubman. Ass like Baartman, I'm joking, I'm through man!

Is it true man? You got a new man?

I'm glad you found uThando & Peace!

I see your glow in the dark , I watch you grow, from head to toe

Lock down, No sexercise, just exercise, oblique workout, body shaping up, you shake shit up

Look down, fvck shit up, I fantasize under the mistletoe, kiss kiss that phat pet peeve,

I mean the size of that cameltoe, kiss kiss like it's NYs Eve

Family Feud like Steve, We lip lock, she bad bad like Eve

Stuck with you like gridlock, bad bitch my ride or die!

The love you show, I dunno who to tell that u just ring my bell

Blue balls, plain torture, ungshaya ding dong, that just rings wrong

Playing mind games like ping pong, saw my dp then ask for my dick pic like "Big Z u got big dick print"

I tell her to quit playin and show her it's just resting, I'm a grower

Picture a Big black gun in your hand, click glock

Lick big black cock in my hand, and get a big tip

Love your big tats,small tits, nip slip, vrm vrm, you own me like pinkslip

4 play lick clit, that pink pink

Big lie like, just the tip, truth is I just wanted to hit twice, then dip twice like, dip dip

Double Pussy grip, like grip grip

Our late night tap dance routine like

Double tap like, tip-clit-grip-grip, skip, tip-clit-grip-grip

Sending mixed signals, wearing no bra, black tank top, Grey gym pants, exciting my BBC then saying NO BRA!

Apple bong is crack bong, big flop wearing your pink flip flops, I need a drink,J walk drunk, hit, bong, bang, drive, buy smoke, fly, sky, high five, YouTube The Fives, whats the matter? GBV

All lives including those you call low lives matter, no 1 deserves murder.

Deep chats kid, Katt Williams crack me up, have a break Kit Kat

I'm a lil sad but real glad u not mad at me brick brack, red fox

Need my quick fix, Red on Netflix like Raymond, cross you off my hitlist, at least at last, the blacklist, NBC

No chick flicks miss, unless you aiming to get this, BBC

I don't aim, shoot shot once and don't miss, easy, ABC

Cupid tryinna shoot me dead but misz, shit shot, no Mrs, thank God

Thot thought she a hot shot coz she smoke pot, no BS she not hot

Cold as horse shit that's not hot, bust a nut, I might not

I'm a lit lad who thinks they a big bad, Wolf, with a sick head

You heard? Sometimes it's hard when u in my bed, think with other head instead like getting head

Play dead after I beat meat, you knock-knock, I'm cumin, you come in, your bad timing is not charming

I see myself in you, pun intended, idea planted in my head

For real tho, I see your hoeish ways, long gone are my hoeish days

Sometimes I think u poison like Ivy, I'm batman, no avengers

Scavengers, a mad woman and a bad man, Savages in our own league

First punch throwers, they hate us, crack bong hitters, they not us, we avenge us,

You lead, I school ya, screw ya, liquids in ur insides like IV

Drip drip, said fuck it, big deal, do u even care how I feel? Bad state of mind, took shrumz, now I'm havin a bad trip

Craving a road trip, cruze down memory lane, replay bad clip, is it weird that I loved that silhouette video? Press play

Get liquid withit

Going toe-to-toe, I kill and bury Big Trill, made my 1st mil

Then blew it, dead lyricist, I'm just a ghost writer

I see changes, a stoner girl turn to a rave girl as the nyt ages

I once told her, trust the rock of ages like John

Serial killer with rage on Pages, I was angry at God like Sean

Now i'm easy like solving for X- Kid'o,

That's annoying, ward off tiny mosquito

Go against me, that's a non starter, kiss my ass lips

I talk shit, no stutter or slight lisp like L-Tido

In the city of gold its all or nothing, that's a no brainer

No brain huh? Black lip bastard, faith like mustard seed

Don't call me bastard, transform to Luke Cage then hit rib Cage like

Nicholas, can't stop me like an urban legend... Ghost rider

I sound fictitious like ghost busters, but I'm quite real like Klingon

I stick like glue, here's a clue:

Day of the week: Monday

Feeling: baby Blue and itchy

Scratch my balls I'm jiggy, sweet melanin black queen like B

Fluent in your love language B, catch 22, paradoxical

Hypocritical, stereotypical, philosophical.

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chrispineisagoddess · 4 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Trek (2009) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Characters: Nyota Uhura, Montgomery “Scotty” Scott, T'Pring, Sarek, Sybok, Madeline (Star Trek), George Samuel Kirk, Aurelan Kirk, Christopher Pike, Leonard McCoy, Gary Mitchell, Gaila (Star Trek), Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu, Number One (Star Trek), Winona Kirk, Original Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Blanket Permission Series: Part 1 of Spoctoria, Part 1 of Author’s Favorites Summary: Spock is heir to the Federation throne, Jim is Prince of America because his fucking brother abdicated, and the Klingons are on the verge of blowing shit up–a love story. - Finally finished this… CHEFS KISSES SO HARD.

#Spirk Fanfiction #Spock/Jim Fanfiction #Spock x Jim Fanfiction #Spirk #k/s

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ao3feed-spirk · 1 year

Text

you saw me when i was invisible

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44136702

by arsoney

(Or, the spirk royalty au romcom literally no one asked for except me, yes, the title is a princess diaries quote)

Words: 1945, Chapters: 1/10, Language: English

Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Nyota Uhura, Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, Michael Burnham, T'Pring (Star Trek), T'Pau (Star Trek)

Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, background Nyota Uhura/T'Pring - Relationship, Crew of the Starship Enterprise & Everyone, Michael Burnham & Spock, Spock & T'Pring (Star Trek)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Romantic Comedy, T'hy'la, Oblivious James T. Kirk, Arranged Marriage, kind of, minor kidnapping, Canon-Typical Xenophobia, Leonard "Bones" McCoy is So Done, Vulcan Culture, Empress of Vulcan T'Pau, Prince Spock, Suitor Jim, Accidental Marriage, except it's accidental signing up to be a suitor, Alternate Universe - Princess Diaries Fusion, princess dairies from michael's pov if it is a fusion but i'm still tagging it, Dancing Lessons, BAMF Nyota Uhura, Not Canon Compliant - Star Trek: Discovery, Getting Together, james t kirk is embarrasingly in love with spock, what do you mean that's not a tag, No beta we die like redshirts, James T. Kirk Has ADHD

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44136702

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #spirk

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

Text

Shooting Fish In a Barrel

by Dan H

Thursday, 01 May 2008Dan has yet another go at JK Rowling~This is going to be short, because frankly there's not a lot to be said except "JK Rowling is so terminally stupid that she needs to purged from the gene pool for the good of humanity."

For those of you who haven't been obsessively following everything that infuriating woman does, she is currently suing the guy behind the Harry Potter Lexicon.

Now I'll try to be fair here. If the guy has genuinely reproduced text from the Potter books without attribution, then he's breaking the law and he needs to correct that, but the guy's a professional librarian and frankly I trust his ability to credit sources properly far, far more than JKR's ability to identify genuine plagiarism.

On the other hand her complaints are so utterly asinine that, well, that I'm completely unsurprised but I'm going to be rude about them anyway.

I think the most telling example of JK Rolwing's complete failure to understand anything, ever, from birth is this:

For instance, she said, the Ogre entry simply said, "Ron and Hermione think they see an ogre at Three Broomsticks." A superior entry, Ms. Rowling testified, would have pointed out that "An ogre in European folklore was a flesh-eating giant."

Say it with me now.

What the fucking fucking fucking fuck?

Seriously JK: how fucking stupid are you, you stupid, stupid woman.

The Harry Potter Lexicon is a guide to the Harry Potter books. Your proposed encyclopaedia is probably going to be a guide to the Harry Potter world. The fact that you can't tell the difference is testimony to how utterly stupid, stupid, stupid you are. It is also why your books are so

very, very bad

The only information we have about ogres in the

actual text

of Harry Potter (as opposed to the magical world of JK Rowling's brain, where Dumbledore is gay, and the series is a protracted plea for tolerance) is that which is provided in the lexicon: Ron and Hermione think they see an ogre at Three Broomsticks. Adding a pointless piece of trivial information would not, in fact, create a superior entry. It would create an inferior entry.

Rowling's objections to the Lexicon boil down to an inability to understand that "Harry Potter" is an artefact which exists in the world, it is a series of texts and commentaries on those texts by the author, and the purpose of the Lexicon is to catalogue and make accessible that

textual

information. Rowling seems to somehow expect the Harry Potter Lexicon to contain information which is not contained in the Harry Potter books, but that simply isn't its purpose.

As far as Rowling is concerned, Harry Potter is not a series of cultural artefacts existing within the world, but a world that exists in her imagination. This is why she feels so free to amend, interpret, and justify the text after its publication. As far as she's concerned (and, as other FB articles have discussed, as far as a depressingly large number of other people are concerned) the Harry Potter universe has a distinct, external reality and the process of reading about Harry Potter is a process of bringing your understanding into line with this distinct, external reality. Essentially a person's appreciation of Harry Potter (as far as Rowling is concerned) can be judged exclusively in terms of how closely it matches her own.

The Harry Potter Lexicon is something altogether different. It is a guide to the

text

(and also the metatext and commentary). It does not seek to define or redefine the boundaries of the Wizarding world, merely to gather together, in one place, textual information about Harry Potter. Calling this "plagiarism" (or to use Rowling's infuriatingly cutesy term "pilfering") is roughly analogous to calling

Easton's Bible Dictionary

blasphemy. And just like the Harry Potter Lexicon, Easton's Bible Dictionary contains some very, very short entries, for example:

Pahath-Moab: Governor of Moab, a person whose descendants returned from the Captivity and assisted in rebuilding Jerusalem (Ezra 2:6; 8:4; 10:30).

No doubt JK would suggest that a superior entry would add "Moab is a place which appears in the bible".

It gets crazier. When the counsel for the defence pointed out to Ms Rowling that actually, putting a bunch of information into alphabetical order so that it would be easily accessible is exactly what lexicons, dictionaries, and encyclopaedias are supposed to do, the exchange went something like this:

"Have you ever read a dictionary, Miss Rowling?" Mr. Hammer demanded. Alphabetical order, he continued, "is what the Encyclopedia Britannica uses, isn't that true?"

To which Ms. Rowling retorted: "What are you accessing in these A-to-Z's? Aren't you being suckered out of your hard-earned cash?"

That's right folks, she actually just said that

dictionaries, encyclopaedias and reference works

are a waste of money. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the champion of children's literacy, the great new hope for the education of a generation, Ms Joanne "I don't think dictionaries are useful" Rowling.

Rowling has also said that the whole business has been crushing her creativity, and she is not sure if she has "the will or the heart" now to publish her own encyclopaedia.

I guess there's an upside to everything then.Themes:

J.K. Rowling

Books

Topical

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

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)

Wardog

at 12:20 on 2008-05-01Apparently Mr Vander Ark cried on the stand - I can't believe JK Rowling is suing this poor bastard librarian from nowhere. It's actually pitiful, he clearly adores her and the whole Harry Potter thing.

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empink

at 22:39 on 2008-05-01

That's right folks, she actually just said that dictionaries, encyclopaedias and reference works are a waste of money. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the champion of children's literacy, the great new hope for the education of a generation, Ms Joanne "I don't think dictionaries are useful" Rowling.

*stares* This is more like shooting one sedated fish in a specially shaped barrel that only allows enough of an opening for your bullet to enter :P

Otherwise, though? I'm heartened to see you going against JKR here. I don't know if you've seen the commentary on the case in fandom sources, but considering the ridiculous nature of what she is trying to do here, the way so many people have come out in blistering support of her actions makes me boggle. The unfounded personal attacks against the other side are even worse, especially considering that this lawsuit should not have happened. Reference works of this kind are fair use, and no one has ever been this bothered about just for that reason. If she doesn't like the Lexicon reference book, nothing stops her from finishing her own encyclopaedia and releasing it. It just makes no sense.

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Dan H

at 10:46 on 2008-05-02

I'm heartened to see you going against JKR here. I don't know if you've seen the commentary on the case in fandom sources, but considering the ridiculous nature of what she is trying to do here, the way so many people have come out in blistering support of her actions makes me boggle.

I like to think that I can be relied upon to come out against JK Rowling. It's practically my party trick. I'm not surprised that fandom is out in support. Hell, even Mr Vander Ark is out in support and he's the damned defendant

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Wardog

at 17:01 on 2008-05-02(Yes, we have entertaining parties in this part of world)

I don't really pay much attention to fandom, except when they agree with me or when they write something exceptionally pretty (i.e. depressingly better than JK Rowling - which is actually pretty often) ... but I'm genuinely mind-boggled that they would *agree* with her actions on this one?

Surely she doesn't have a legal leg to stand on? (Is there a a lawyer in the house?) And it's just plain pissy.

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Jamie Johnston

at 01:35 on 2008-05-07[Warning: simple answer to simple question turns into lengthy musings on the nature of stuff.]

Intellectual property may well be the area of law I know least about, but I think from what I've heard about the case that the problem is something like this:

If you published and sold one of the Potter books without permission (and without paying her royalties), you'd be making money from what would be almost entirely Rowling's work and very little of your own work. If you translated the same book into Klingon and then published and sold the translation, it would be more your work and less hers, but still the plot, characters, pacing, structure, and probably even some elements of the prose style would be hers and she should probably get a substantial cut of the proceeds. If you wrote a twenty-page summary of the book (in English) and published and sold it, the balance would be further in your favour, but still you'd be using a lot of her work, so arguably she should still get a share. You see where this goes: Warners are basically arguing that all Mr Vander Ark has done is summarize and rearrange Rowling's material.

Which is kind of true. Of course that seems to have nothing to do with what Rowling herself thinks is going on. Her comments quoted above have nothing to do with the legal issues in the case as far as I can see, and are pretty imbecilic. Of course there *is* a legitimate response to the question about encyclopedias, but it's not 'encyclopedias are a con', it's 'the things an encyclopedia puts in alphabetical order are facts about the real world, which nobody had to put any effort into inventing'.

But that raises another question, which is not so much about whether Rowling is stupid (no further debate needed there) as about whether intellectual property law is stupid. Is there really such a categorical difference between the statement "Quidditch is played up on broomsticks up in the air" (http://www.hp-lexicon.org/quidditch/quidditch.html#Rules) and the statement "A cricket match is played on a grass field, roughly oval in shape" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket)? In a sense one is a fictional statement and the other a factual statement; but you can put it another way and say that one is a factual statement about a fictional world and the other is a factual statement about a real world. Both are equally true, provided you read the former sentence with the implicit preface "In J.K. Rowling's 'Harry Potter' books" (which obviously you do, because that's the whole point), and they have exactly the same ratio between the amount of work / inspiration / usefulness contributed by the person making the statement and the amount of work / inspiration / usefulness contributed by the person who invented the game in question. Yet we wouldn't say that the inventor of cricket (if cricket had been invented by one specific person) should be entitled to a share of any money made by the person making the statement about cricket pitches being grassy ovals.

So in a sense Mr Vander Ark has more or less just taken the products of Rowling's mind, paraphrased them, and arranged them in a thematic rather than a narrative order. His work relies entirely on Rowling's work and no one would want to read his book if hers didn't exist. But, at the same time, that's exactly what makes the case, and the law it's based on, ridiculous. His work is so entirely reliant on hers that it in no sense undermines, subsumes, or replaces her work. It won't stop anyone buying her books, and in fact it may well encourage more people to buy them. It doesn't take away any of the money she earned by writing the books, and it doesn't stop her earning more money every time another copy is sold. What she's really demanding here is that she be paid twice for inventing Quidditch: once for writing about it in the 'Potter' books, and a second time for Mr Vander Ark writing about it in the 'Lexicon'.

The problem is that the whole idea of intellectual property is a philosophical nightmare. Of course Rowling has to be able to make money from her ideas. Otherwise writers would starve. But on the other hand the whole exercise is based on the assumption that the more money Mr Vander Ark makes from her ideas, the less money she makes from her ideas. Money is ostensibly a zero-sum game. If I give you 10, I'm 10 worse off. There appears to be no way for me to cause you to acquire my 10 without myself losing my 10. But, we cry, ideas aren't like that. Ideas are infinitely reproducible and infinitely transferable. I have an idea, I tell it to you, now we each have that idea. Where before there was one person with one idea, there are now two people with one idea each. Arithmetic says there must now be two ideas, but of course there's still only one; and yet it's not that we have half each, or that we each own a half-share in one idea: no, each of us has one whole idea. Now, if my idea is worth 10, then here is how I can give you 10 without losing 10: I give you my idea, and then you can sell it for 10, and I still have my idea, which I can also sell for 10, and now we have 10 each. But wait, it's not so simple after all, because if I give you my idea for free then you can give it to someone else for free, and he can give it to someone else for free, and she can give it to someone else for free, and pretty soon everybody in the world has free access to my idea and nobody wants to pay be 10 or even 10p for it. Although giving you my idea didn't look like it would make me any worse off, it actually has. So now how am I supposed to make a living out of having ideas?

The most obvious solution is for me to refuse to give you my idea for free. In stead I charge you 10 for it. Now I am 10 better off. I still have my idea, however, so in theory I can go on doing this indefinitely, charging people 10 each for something that I don't lose by giving it away. I could get as many 10 notes as there are people who want my idea. But there's a flaw here too, because once I've sold you my idea you can then, if you want, give it away for free, and just as before anyone can get it free and no one needs to pay me for it. It's not as bad as the first scenario, because I've still for 10 from the first sale, but once might think I was entitled to more.

The intellectual property solution is to say that nobody is allowed to give away my idea. Anyone who gets it must get it from me, and if I want you to pay 10 for it then that's the only way you're going to get it. The problem is that this is (1) very very difficult in practice to enforce and (2) entirely contrary to the whole point and essence of ideas (which is, as mentioned some time earlier, that they can be given away without being lost). It effectively seeks to make ideas as easy to deal with as physical property by making it illegal to take advantage of what makes them different from physical property.

I can't claim to have a fully developed superior solution. It would seem more in tune with the nature of ideas if I were just to charge you a sufficiently massive amount of money when I first sell you the idea that I can survive quite happily until I get my next idea and I needn't care if I never make another penny out of that first idea again. The problem is that now you've invested a massive amount of money in my idea, and I can prevent you making any of it back by simply telling my idea for free to a bunch of other people. After all, I've already had all the money I'm going to make out of that idea, so there's no reason why I shouldn't give it away for free from now on. So what's your incentive for buying the idea from me in the first place, when you can wait for some other chump to fork over the cash while you wait in the queue to get the same idea for nothing? In fact, although it may be in everyone's collective interest for the idea to get bought, it's in nobody's individual interest to buy it. So if we carry on down this line of thinking the only solution seems to be for the state, being the representative of the collective good, to use tax-payers' money to pay writers one-off lump sums to write books that can then be distributed for free (or for nothing more than the cost of producing the physical copy of the book).

I don't know. It's very hard to see a solution. But it's not hard to see that there are some real problems with the current attempt at a solution, because if there weren't then people like Mr Vander Ark wouldn't be weeping in witness-boxes.

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Arthur B

at 10:37 on 2008-05-07To be fair to intellectual property laws, you have to look at two aspects of the idea - the idea itself, and the presentation.

Pretty much none of the actual

ideas

in Rowling's books are her own. Kid who discovers magical abilities and goes to a special school?

The Worst Witch

, come on down. Kid discovers that he is the last scion of a lost family and is destined to defeat the Dark Lord? Well, there's

almost every epic fantasy written since the 1970s...

In copyright law, which is the specific area of the law we are dealing with here, it's not just the idea itself which is important but the presentation (in the case of the HP books, what Rowling actually sat down and wrote). If Rowling had just sat in that cafe and wrote "A boy discovers he is a wizard and goes to Wizard School; he fights the Dark Lord" on a napkin and tried to publish that nobody would buy it. What makes the Harry Potter stories valuable - and, in essence, what makes the copyright valuable - is the specific presentation, the fact that (at least in the earlier books) Rowling is actually capable of writing a good story that people are willing to pay money for.

Now, if Jill Murphy wrote

The Worst Witch at the Inter-School Quiddich Match

, in which the Worst Witch and her school go off to a sporting event hosted by Hogwarts and she meets Harry and Snape and the rest, she'd clearly be breaching Rowling's intellectual property rights; even though the general idea of a magical school isn't new to Rowling, and the particular style of school arguably originated with Murphy, the particular presentation of the idea we see in the Potter novels - Hogwarts, Dumbledore, Snape, rotating cast of Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers and all - originates with Rowling.

On the other hand, I'm aware of several unofficial Harry Potter publications out there (I could have sworn I saw a "Guide to the Harry Potter World" in The Works a few years ago) which quote liberally (or as liberally as the law allows, which is more than sufficient for most criticism purposes) from the books. Heck, there's even books that are all about how Harry Potter is evil and Rowling is a foul temptress leading the youth of today astray. I don't see how the

Lexicon

is any different from those books except for these three points:

1: It's more thorough than earlier guides to the books, at least partially because it's based on all seven books.

2: It appears to be ambiguous as to whether it is a guide to the Harry Potter books (in which case it's just reporting a bunch of facts about them, and it's on somewhat sturdier ground) or whether it is a guide to the Harry Potter universe - in short, whether it is reporting on the word of Rowling, or whether it is attempting to claim an authorial authority over the Potter universe which only Rowling can really claim to have.

3: Rowling happened to want to do an encyclopedia of the Potter world herself, and feels that the

Lexicon

would either make such a project redundant or make it less profitable.

I suspect that point 2 is the origin of many of the legal arguments in the case, but that point 3 is the actual motivation; it'd be pretty weak to rely on point 3 in court, since it'd put Rowling in the difficult position of trying to assert intellectual property rights on the basis of a book she hasn't actually written yet.

Of course, if Rowling had just trademarked "Harry Potter" we wouldn't be in this mess; then you couldn't put something like

The Harry Potter Lexicon

out without being accused of "passing off" - making out that your product is an official Harry Potter (TM) product when it isn't. Actually, for all I know she has, and these are the grounds the suit is being brought under - but I suspect she hasn't. We'd have seen far less unofficial guides to the Potterverse were that the case...

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Dan H

at 14:44 on 2008-05-07

Of course Rowling has to be able to make money from her ideas. Otherwise writers would starve.

Actually, I think that's where the problems arise. Legally speaking (as far as I understand) nobody is entitled to make money from their *ideas*, they're entitled to make money from their *works*.

It pretty much has to work this way, because otherwise Jill Murphy really could sue JK Rowling for use of the "magical school" idea and Joss Whedon could sue the makers of Alias, Tru Calling, Wonderfalls and Veronica Mars for the "Teenage girl kicks ass in a TV series" idea.

IP law only protects the presentation, not the idea.

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Arthur B

at 18:15 on 2008-05-07Exactly. You can't patent a plot.

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Dan H

at 19:32 on 2008-05-07

Of course, if Rowling had just trademarked "Harry Potter" we wouldn't be in this mess; then you couldn't put something like The Harry Potter Lexicon out without being accused of "passing off" - making out that your product is an official Harry Potter (TM) product when it isn't.

Actually, I'm not sure even that would make any difference. "McDonalds" is a registered trademark, so is "Microsoft", people write books about them all the time. That's basically where this problem seems to be coming from: you obviously have to be able to write *about* somebody else's intellectual property, otherwise there would be no such thing as literary criticism. It is, in fact, totally legitimate, for a third party to write a lexicon, guide, or criticism of any work of intellectual property. The *only* legal recourse JK could possibly have here is (a) if the poor bugger has used too much of her original text, but I doubt he has or (b) if she can show that he had somehow claimed that she endorsed the book when she didn't (you might recall that this second issue was the way that Fox News tried to sue "Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them").

Not only is she trying to assert her IP rights over a book she hasn't written yet, she's also trying to claim that those rights include the right to prevent the publication of competing product. It really is like Jill Murphy trying to sue Rowling because the Potter books might harm sales of the Worst Witch.

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Dan H

at 19:52 on 2008-05-07

Yet we wouldn't say that the inventor of cricket (if cricket had been invented by one specific person) should be entitled to a share of any money made by the person making the statement about cricket pitches being grassy ovals.

Sorry to double post, but this actually highlights another important point (which admittedly we've already mentioned, but I thought I'd repeat anyway). Not only would Lord Sebastian Cricket, inventor of Cricket not be entitled to a cut of the profits from a dictionary which includes a description of a cricket pitch, he would

also

not be entitled to a cut of the profits of a cricket match.

Again, it comes down to the fact that you can't copyright an idea. Even if Cricket *had* been invented by one man, it would be impossible to say that the *idea* of playing a game where two teams of men hit a ball away from stumps in an effort to score runs was his and his alone. Contact juggling was pretty much invented by Michael Moschen (the guy who was David Bowie's arms in

Labyrinth

) but it's grown well beyond him and he has no ownership over the idea.

In fact if you *could* copyright ideas, there'd be huge enormous problems. Since Mr Moschen, for example, has lost all interest in contact juggling (he just sees it as something he did for a while in the eighties), if he maintained exclusive rights to the idea, nobody would be able to do it. If you could patent not only inventions but also the ideas *behind* those inventions, there would be nothing stopping people developing ludicrous monopolies (imagine, for example, if Microsoft held not only the patents for "Windows" and "Microsoft Word" but also for the ideas of "Operating Systems" and "Word Processors").

Lord Sebastian Cricket would hold the copyright on

Lord Cricket's Concise Rules to the Cricketing Sport

or whatever other works he chose to publish about the game he had invented, but he would not and should not own the game itself, because that would give him the power to decide, on a whim, that nobody was allowed to play Cricket any more.

The scary thing about this case is that Rowling is claiming for herself not only the right to be acknowledged as the creator and originator of Harry Potter, but also to actually

control what is said about it

and that's actually rather scary.

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Arthur B

at 21:58 on 2008-05-07

"McDonalds" is a registered trademark, so is "Microsoft", people write books about them all the time. That's basically where this problem seems to be coming from: you obviously have to be able to write *about* somebody else's intellectual property, otherwise there would be no such thing as literary criticism. It is, in fact, totally legitimate, for a third party to write a lexicon, guide, or criticism of any work of intellectual property.

This is very true.

I suspect that Rowling's lawyers will present the argument that the

Lexicon

does not fall into the category of criticism or discussion since it does not voice any actual opinions about the matters at hand; it simply provides a long list of details about the Harry Potter universe without comment. This is frankly a somewhat shaky argument - there's plenty of, say, unofficial episode guides for TV shows which rely on providing a list of facts about the shows in question, and I've never heard of any of them being taken down - but a) she's rich, she can afford good lawyers, they'll probably dress it up a bit and b) the fact that I can't think of any instances where people have tried to stop

The Unofficial Guide To (Whatever)

might mean one of two things: either my memory is sloppy, and there have been instances, in which case there's precedent they can call on, or nobody's tried to prevent this sort of thing from happening before, in which case they might be hoping to set a precedent.

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Rami

at 10:23 on 2008-05-08

Actually, I think that's where the problems arise. Legally speaking (as far as I understand) nobody is entitled to make money from their *ideas*, they're entitled to make money from their *works*.

Yes, that's exactly how it should be. The law is rather less than clear about it :-( -- yet another argument for

copyleft

;-)

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Arthur B

at 15:00 on 2008-05-08To be honest, I'm glad that Harry Potter didn't come out under copyleft, on the basis that:

- The very thought of the sheer number of thinly-disguised Potter imitations makes me cringe. At least in the current situation anyone who wants to get onto the children's fantasy bandwagon needs to be creative enough to write something different.

- If anyone could write about Potter we would have a million Rowlings making ridiculous declarations about the series instead of one. And one is more than enough.

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Rami

at 15:56 on 2008-05-08True enough, I expect the arguments in favor of / against copyright in literature are somewhat different from the arguments that are relevant in software ;-)

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Dan H

at 09:15 on 2008-05-09

The very thought of the sheer number of thinly-disguised Potter imitations makes me cringe. At least in the current situation anyone who wants to get onto the children's fantasy bandwagon needs to be creative enough to write something different.

Actually, copyright doesn't protect against thinly disguised imitations at *all* - if it did half the Fantasy novels on the market would have to be taken down for ripping off Lord of the Rings.

The reason that copyright actually *is* a blessing is that otherwise

every single publishing company in the world

would be cranking out Harry Potter books at a furious pace. This would then give them no reason to look for new authors of their own, it would make it impossible for smaller companies to survive in the market (Bloomsbury was only saved because it "got" Rowling - if another company had just been able to decide to publish its own copies it would have sunk years ago).

Copyright and patent law exist to protect the investments of people who spend a lot of money developing things which then become instantly reproducible. Without it, publishing would become financially non-viable.

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Arthur B

at 13:27 on 2008-05-09I meant imitations as in "things close enough to Harry Potter as to be actually indistinguishable." Like that Tanya Grotter series from Russia and the Chinese bootleg where Harry turns into a dwarf.

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#Why won't this one format right?#J.K. Rowling #Harry Potter #The Harry Potter Lexicon #Dan H #Ferretbrain

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