"C'mon," Eddie said as he twisted the doorknob and grabbed Steve's hand.
The smell of rain hit Steve's nostrils when they stepped through the front door onto the porch to experience firsthand what they had been watching from behind the door. It was breezy and warm out due to the late spring storm rolling through their Indiana haunt, making the big metal wind chimes clang in low tones. The rain fell thick but with far more grace than Eddie did onto their glider, pulling Steve down with him and making him land awkwardly with an oof that Eddie definitely felt, judging by the wheeze he let out.
"How's your spleen?" Steve joked, shifting into a more comfortable position, his back against Eddie's chest, feet up on the footstool.
"A little banged up," he groaned out with a voice of somebody who had lived centuries, but that melted away when Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve's waist and held him close and spoke, grin evident, into the shell of his ear, "but I've got my favorite heating pad."
Steve's skin prickled to life and he smiled, eyes closed as Eddie rocked the glider into a slow motion. Thunder rolled lazily in the distance.
This was new. Not the two of them being together, but the two of them having this. A big porch. A glider. Those ridiculous wind chimes that Steve thought he'd never get used to but would now miss if they were gone. Their modest plot of land sprawled with more trees than lawn, but there was a big enough clearing to have a garden that they had taken full advantage of. There was privacy there. It was home, and Steve melted into Eddie's hold as they took in the steady, heavy patter of rain around them.
They stayed out there for a while and watched the way the rain bled down the tree trunks and saturated the soil. The leaves already looked more vibrant due to them soaking up the nitrogen the lightning provided, while the taller flowers sagged under the weight of the water trapped in their throats and coating their foliage. Despite the added weight, there was no denying how much better they looked already. It had been a couple of weeks since the last rain, and, honestly? Faucet water just wasn't the same.
"We needed this," Eddie muttered quietly into the crook of an all but dozing Steve's neck.
The only sign of life was his breathing and the lazy drag of his fingertips over the skin on Eddie's arm, still wrapped around his waist. Steve hummed in agreement, unable to resist adding on, "Alright, gramps."
He could feel Eddie's smile against his skin, could feel his teeth nip at what was probably a mole because Eddie was predictable and weak.
Which Steve couldn't say a thing about, because as Eddie's breath washed over and heated his skin, adding to their own humidity, Steve couldn't be paid to move.
And, god, that thunder. Every time it rumbled, Eddie's lips brushed against Steve's shoulder. Steve didn't even know if Eddie was aware he did it, and there was no way Steve was going to point it out and risk it stopping. The fear was totally unfounded (it's Eddie), but still he would keep it close, shelter it like a greedy dragon, because, like clockwork: thunder; feather light kiss. Or a nose rub. And sometimes, Eddie would sigh with contentment, too, chest rising and slowly falling, making Steve sink back into him. No troubles, no worries. Nothing but the rain, thunder, humidity, and mutual adoration.
Eddie was right. They needed this.
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Fuck it Friday
Tagged by @diazsdimples who posted a whole ass fic! Go and give it a read, it’s a fun one 😁
Have some more from when your heart releases, you won’t fall to pieces aka the Eddie breakdown fic. The writing beans aren’t beaning for this wip, even though I’d really like them to be. Still .. thought I’d share something I wrote for it a little ways back (this is just after the scene from canon where Eddie says he’s scared he’ll never feel normal again.)
“What if I can’t find normal again? What if this is my new normal, Buck?”
“I’ll still be here. I promised to have your back and I meant it. Nothing is going to scare me away from you.”
Away from loving you.
Eddie’s eyes widen slightly, his mouth going a bit slack as he stares at Buck in a way that looks an awful lot like awe. Buck’s starting to think maybe he said that last part out loud. It doesn’t matter though, because it’s true. Nothing he learns about Eddie will scare him away. Every bruised and scarred piece of Eddie that he’s ever been shown has been carefully gathered up and placed with the others, all held within the safety of Buck’s heart, their edges slotting in perfectly beside his own.
Buck clears his throat to break the moment, now is not the time for Buck to cut himself open and pour his love and devotion for Eddie out at his feet. Not when Eddie is so fragile and Buck has a girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
He has to keep reminding himself of that, which is probably not a good sign about the vitality of their relationship. But now is not the time to think about that either. Right now he needs to focus on Eddie and making sure he’s okay. Hopefully convince him to get some sleep, because he looks like shit. Buck thinks there may be bags under the bags under his eyes.
“Right. You’re going to shower and then you’re going to sleep. Everything else can wait until the morning, okay?”
“And you’ll be here? In the morning?” Eddie’s voice sounds so small. Buck’s heart cracks at the sound of it.
“I told you,” Buck reaches across the table and squeeze his hands, “m’not going anywhere.”
No pressure tagging: @steadfastsaturnsrings @hippolotamus @wildlife4life @nmcggg @puppyboybuckley @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @rainbow-nerdss @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @spotsandsocks @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @try-set-me-on-fire @tizniz @rewritetheending @athenagranted @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @fiona-fififi @giddyupbuck @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @homerforsure @honestlydarkprincess @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @bekkachaos @lover-of-mine @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @captain-hen and anyone else I may have missed or who wants to share something!
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inspiration saturday
tagged by my beloveds @spotsandsocks @honestlydarkprincess @monsterrae1 @loserdiaz 🩵
—i know i haven’t been around lately, but i’ve still been working away on chris doesn’t come back au, so have another random snippet of that 🫶🏼
Eddie shook his head as he stepped toward Buck, tapping his finger close to where Buck’s rested on the counter.
“I didn’t mean—I love that you asked about [redacted]. It’s—you’re always worried about others, because you care Buck.
“Yea I…well I’m not sure that’s such a good quality.”
Eddie tilted his head in confusion. Buck removed his hand from the counter and twisted to lean back against it with his arms crossed.
“If—if I wasn’t so concerned about other people, I wouldn’t have lost Chris that day.”
He tried to look away, but Eddie was quicker, bringing his hand up to cup Buck’s face so he could twist it back towards him.
“Hey, you did everything you could Buck. If you hadn’t have saved them, you know how many more people would be dead? How many more people wouldn’t have gotten back to their families?”
Buck knew he was right, and that if he could go back, he’d no doubt do the same thing. But he still hated it, still had regrets.
He shook his head. “I don’t—you weren’t there Eddie.”
Eddies thumb brushed beneath his chin, soft and endearing.
“Then tell me about it Buck, please.”
Buck found himself leaning into Eddie’s touch, closing his eyes at the warmth and familiarity.
“We-we were safe, playing-playing I-Spy. Chris told me that uh, that he didn’t give up, like Dory.” Buck paused to take a breath, the water seemingly still creeping in on him. “The wave it-it came back. I should’ve-should’ve held onto him…should’ve—let the others drown.”
The last word came out almost a whisper, haunting even Buck himself.
tagging: @redlightsandicedtea @onward--upward @wikiangela @bi-buckrights @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @bibuckbuckley @wildlife4life @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @underwaterninja13 @giddyupbuck @jacksadventuresinwriting @father-salmon @bigfootsmom @devirnis
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So I see folks pointing out that Louis' circle A tattoo is more likely an aesthetic choice than an announcement of a political commitment to anarchism, and saying basically that that maybe makes him a bit of a poser and I mean- I GUESS. But I don't like to look at things that way and I don't think it's useful. As I see it the subversive sexiness of the symbols of resistance have ALWAYS been gateways for people who are drawn to the struggle in vague ways and that's GOOD. Aligning yourself with those values is good no matter the reason, in my book, especially given the wretched options available out there, but also the journey doesn't necessarily stop there. Gatekeeping queerness victimizes people who are just trying things out and starting to discover that it may run deeper than just trying on a new look who should instead be welcomed and helped along their path, and I fail to see how gatekeeping political affiliations is any different (plus how counterproductive to actual movement building is that?)
ANYWAY. What I really want to say about Louis is that while I KNOW that Louis is probably not secretly a theory reading anti-state communalist anarchist, I think that actually Louis' optimism and idealism (and his unwavering commitment to allying himself with the working class and embracing those roots) are a perfect fit for the philosophy and always have been. I know that anarchism is mostly understood as being about throwing molotov cocktails and fighting the state (and the allure of its symbols are that they signify this, a terrific aesthetic for him to choose to sign on with in my book), but that's honestly largely cartoonish stereotyping that comes directly from anti-anarchist state propaganda. That resistance is necessary in this hellscape of oppression we live in and is super important, but in its heart anarchism is only about the state in that the state and capitalism currently stands in the way of its goals. The whole point of anarchism is that it's NOT about the state! It's about being able to imagine something better than a state, it's about how we live and about how we SHOULD live, it's about HOPE and picturing something utopian and something free of the ways capitalism pits us against one another! What could be more Louis than that?
"I need you and you need me and I love that" is as beautiful a way of talking about the cornerstone of anarchism that is mutual aid as any long winded essay I've read (even if what he meant was contextually different), and I think when he talks again and again about how special the space fans have made around him is he is expressing an intuitive understanding of the importance of autonomous zones, places and moments outside of the shitty life imposed on us by the system (also a huge part of anarchist thought). Maybe I'm just being an optimist but I think that Louis DOES understand that caring for people and wanting self-determination and freedom for all and allying himself with the working class involves a certain amount of resistance to and positioning yourself in opposition to the state. Thinking the symbols of smashing that state are cool isn't meaningless; it's a CHOICE. There are other cool symbols out there and I just happen to think that feeling a resonance with certain ones is something in and of itself, even if at this moment he does not choose to start a fight with the media about it all.
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