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elizevanniekerk · 9 months

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The Subtle Art of Finding Joy in the Mundane

In the dizzying whirlwind of our modern lives, with its notifications, deadlines, and endless to-do lists, it's easy to overlook the little things. Our quest for big achievements, exotic vacations, and grand celebrations often overshadows the understated moments that make up our daily lives. Yet, there's a profound beauty and solace in the mundane, waiting to be discovered.

The Magic of Morning Rituals

Consider the simple act of brewing your morning coffee or tea. The aromatic scent that wafts through your kitchen, the warmth of the mug against your palms, and that first invigorating sip – it's a ritual that beckons a new day, filled with possibilities. It's not just about the caffeine kick, but the quiet moments we grant ourselves before the day's chaos ensues.

Nature's Everyday Theater

Look out of your window. Even if you're in the heart of a bustling city, nature is putting on a daily show. The radiant hues of a sunrise, the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze, or even the rhythmic patter of rain against the windowpane. These are nature's gentle reminders of its cyclic rhythm, urging us to pause and sync our own rhythms with the world around us.

The Joy of Daily Tasks

Believe it or not, there's a meditative quality in mundane chores. The rhythmic act of washing dishes, the soft hum of a vacuum cleaner, or the therapeutic act of decluttering can be grounding experiences. They tether us to the present moment, offering a break from the incessant noise in our heads.

Conversations and Connections

Everyday joy is also about connections. A brief chat with a neighbor, a spontaneous phone call to a friend, or even the simple act of greeting your local grocery store cashier can forge bonds. It's in these fleeting interactions that we find a shared human experience.

Rediscovering Your Space

Sometimes, joy is about rediscovery. Re-read a favorite book, revisit old photographs, or rearrange your furniture. Familiar spaces and objects can offer new perspectives and insights when looked at with fresh eyes.

Wrapping Up

The art of finding joy in the mundane is essentially about shifting our perspective. It's about appreciating life's quiet moments and finding depth in simplicity. It's recognizing that while milestones and grand celebrations are significant, there's immeasurable joy to be found in the spaces in between.

In the words of novelist Alice Walker, "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." Life's everyday surprises, no matter how small, are the threads that weave the beautiful tapestry of our existence. So, let's cherish them.

#Everyday joy #finding happiness #morning rituals #Beauty in simplicity #mundane magic #daily routines #Mindfulness practices #nature's beauty #Meditative chores #Rediscovering memories #Joy in simplicity #Grounding experiences #living in the moment #Cherishing daily life #Therapeutic tasks #human connections #Shifting perspective #Appreciating small moments #Life's surprises

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daydreamslikewaves · 2 years

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Little mothers, bigger daughters.

So this is quite personal but it’s something that I want to post, because sadly I know that there will be many, many women out there who this is going to resonate with. It’s all about a realisation I’ve had which is helping me deal with /manage some not great behaviour which is just not ever going to change - and maybe it’ll help someone else out there. I feel like it’s personal growth for me to have reached this point, too, and it felt like a safe space to share.

TW: parental toxicity, talk about weight, food, body image.

My mum is a solid and reliable person. She is loyal to a fault and passionate about family and a very strong-willed woman. A force of nature. She is fierce. She’s gone through slightly more personal tragedies than the average human. One hundred percent, she would kill for me and my dad. All in all, we have a good relationship. But there is one aspect that has always been difficult to deal with.

I think we all know that it’s unwise for parents to comment on their children’s weight/body/diet. Even if there are genuine concerns, there are ways to tackle said concerns and ways not to. And this goes for any child/person, of any body type. But it’s something I have particularly struggled with as someone who has a very different build to my very petite mother. I am tall and athletic while my mother is absolutely tiny. There has been a lot of vigilance regarding my body, always. ‘That doesn’t look as good as you think it does’. ‘Are you sure you want to eat that.’ The ‘big-boned’ comments were meant as ‘compliments’ but were neverending. As was the focus on my posture, and how inelegant I was, and the emphasis on that I always needed to be active as if there was an undercurrent of concern as to what would happen to my body if I stopped exercising. All of this focus on my body which in turn made me hyperfocused on it. I’m that person obsessively watching myself in every reflective surface to make sure I’m standing normally. Because usually I don’t; I tend to shrink in on myself in an effort to seem physically smaller. I slouch in photos to make myself small, too.

I won’t go into detail about all of the comments I’ve received over the years, because they did get progressively worse. Some of them were extremely damaging - especially over the last two years. Me gaining 8kg over quarantine sparked endless debates.

Recently, though, I’ve come to the realisation that a lot of these comments might not actually come from a terrible place after all; and not in the way that all those Psychology Today articles suggest (’they do it because it’s their way of loving you, even though it’s flawed, unsolicited advice etc etc’). What they say goes some way when it comes to explaining it, but.. I simply have started to believe that sometimes, it’s as simple as this:

As a petite woman, my mum just can’t comprehend what it’s like to not be petite.

She has no frame of reference. Every woman on her side of the family is relatively small. She has been taught that petite is petite and that not-petite is big. That big can be negative. Needs someone to keep an eye on it. She does not understand what it is like to be the tallest in the class and how working out requires you to eat more to keep energy levels up. For her, good food and no bad food/less food + ‘moving your body’ (cardio only) = weight loss. No matter how much I try to explain that strength training combined with cardio is much more effective in getting leaner, she is horrified at the idea of me getting muscly because ‘that should not be your goal’. She is not a fan of tattoos but one big concern she has in relation to mine is ‘why would you want to show off your body?’. It is not said with disgust, more like a genuine question bred from genuine curiosity - she can’t fathom it. It isn’t out of spite that she feels these things but more because she a) has been taught certain things about how women should be and b) as a smaller woman her experience is completely different to mine.

I am trying to actively remember this as I go to visit my parents this weekend as undoubtedly, the fact that I posted a bikini holiday pic on instagram will be a pressing topic of conversation. I am trying to remember that she doesn’t know how tall/curvy women experience the world. I’m trying to see it as something that makes her really confused - because this is ultimately easier than seeing it as a constant slight against my physical appearance. It helps that I now think this is the genuine reason for her comments all these years. Just wish that it had taken me less than thirty years to figure it out.

Anyway, water off a duck’s back.

(I would like to add that this may not be the case for everyone experiencing a similar situation. Some people are just shitty to the core. But for others, the situation is much more complex. This is just my perspective on my own experience.)

#personal #mother-daughter relationship #TW: body image issues #TW: toxicity #TW: relationship with food #TW: talk of weight #shifting perspective #personal growth #parents

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chaosnoirjpg · 2 months

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youtube

absolutely love this video

many gems in this one

#think outside the limitations #shifting perspective #healing #philosopher #what if the opposite was true #emotional liberation #ayandastood #Youtube

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mydairpercabeth · 3 months

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rollercoasterwords · 2 years

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the tiktokification of ao3

or: some of you fundamentally misunderstand ao3 and it really, really shows

i was talking about this with a friend a few days ago and since then i've seen multiple posts of various sorts that have just made me think about it more, so. here is me breaking down a disconnect i see particularly with younger members of the marauders fandom (i say marauders specifically just bc that's the only one i'm plugged into):

okay, so i've seen many (usually younger) marauders fans either talking online about how they wish ao3 was more like social media (specifically regarding algorithms) OR talking about ao3/fanfiction/fanfic writers as if they are operating under the same etiquette/guidelines/assumptions they would bring into social media platforms. this ranges from being mildly irritating to genuinely harmful, and i want to talk abt why.

first - you have to understand that social media, in this day and age, exists in a profit economy. and when i say social media here, i'm referring to platforms like tiktok, twitter, instagram, etc. all of these platforms exist in a profit economy where content is a product that can be monetized. this leads to a few important distinctions:

people posting on these social media platforms are generally posting with the intent to get their content seen by as many people as possible, as quickly as possible

they post with this intent because once their content is consumed by enough people, it becomes a product that they can monetize

therefore, if that content gets popular enough, these people can become influencers, where content creation is an actual job and their audience are, in a sort of vague and obscured way, similar to consumers purchasing a product

because of the profit economy surrounding social media, there are certain assumptions + forms of interaction that bleed across almost all social media platforms. the ones relevant to this little essay include:

operating under the assumption that anyone posting anything on the internet wants to go viral, ie. be seen by as many people as possible as quickly as possible in order to grow an "audience"

these influencers are creating content for us, their audience, so they should want to please us. they should also be trying to appeal to the broadest possible audience. therefore, if we dislike their content, we have a right to make that very, very clear.

in that same vein, we have a general right to critique content creators, as they are making a profit and we are the consumers purchasing their product--much like you might feel entitled to a certain standard of service in a restaurant where you are paying for the food.

when you carry these assumptions over to a platform like ao3, it creates problems. why? in a nutshell: because ao3 exists outside the profit economy

ao3 is a non-profit. it does not have an algorithm because it is not trying to sell you anything. this means that the writers posting their work on ao3 are not making a profit. we are not influencers. we are not creating monetized content to sell to a consumer-audience. where consuming content on other social media platforms might be comparable to eating at a restaurant, reading fanfiction on ao3 is more like coming over to someone's house and eating cookies that they made for free. you are in their house. the cookies are free, given as a gift. so what happens when those assumptions outlined above start to bleed over from other social media?

assuming that anyone posting fanfiction online wants their work to go viral -- i've seen this with popular fic writers getting questions like, "are you worried x isn't going to be as popular as y?" those questions are usually not ill-intended, but they demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding about why writers post work on ao3. it's not to go viral. it's not to build any sort of online following. most of us who post on ao3 have jobs or schoolwork or other commitments, and writing fanfiction is something done for fun, out of a love for writing. those sharing their work online might be seeking community, but that is fundamentally different from seeking an audience, and in no way involves internet virality. if someone is posting fanfic on ao3 with the hope that it'll "go viral," then they likely either won't continue writing fanfic for long or will reach a point where they have to re-evalute their motivations, because seeking joy and validation by turning your art into a product for consumption just isn't very sustainable.

influencers are creating content for us, so we have a right to let them know if we don't like it -- nope!! fic writers are not influencers. yes, even the popular ones. no matter how much other people might blow their work up on social media, fic writers are still outside the profit economy. they are not creating content for an audience. they are not creating content for you. they are writing because they love it, and they are generously sharing it. if you don't like it, don't interact with it. you are never entitled to loudly and publicly proclaim how much you dislike a fic. i talk about this more here

we have a general right to critique fic writers, the same way we do with content creators/influencers -- again, no. you should not be treating fic writers the way you would treat an influencer on another social media platform, no matter how popular they may be. this is not to say fic writers are beyond all reproach; rather, it is a call-in to check your entitlement. fic writers are not little jesters entertaining in your court. they are not subject to your whims. they do not have to do things for you. they do not have to write things you like. in that post i linked on point 2, i talk about what etiquette might look like if you're really concerned that a fic writer is doing something harmful, but that is not what i'm talking about here. i am talking about the proliferation of negativity i have seen, especially on twitter and tiktok, where people essentially just talk shit about fics or fic writers as though they are entitled to have those fic writers working to please them. this is gross, and it needs to stop. you wouldn't go over to someone's house, eat the cookies they baked to share, and then spit those cookies back in their face and start shouting about what a shitty baker they are. or maybe you would--in which case, congratulations! you are Not A Good Person.

anyway, at the end of the day, a lot of this can be boiled down to: Because ao3 exists outside the profit economy, fic writers are not influencers, and you should never be treating them as though they are. i think i see this disconnect largely with younger people just because they've maybe only ever really understood social media within this sort of influencer-consumer-culture economy, and genuinely don't understand how to interact differently with the internet. so, consider this post a call-in to reevaluate the way you interact with fic writers and the etiquette you use when it comes to engaging with fanfic on ao3! i promise that ao3 being different from social media is a very, very good thing, and also a very, very rare thing, so let's treasure it and focus on fostering community rather than trying to morph it to fit the mould of influencer-audience dynamics that we see almost everywhere else <3

#tldr: fic writers aren't influencers #stop acting like they are #it only creates problems!!!!#anyway if you have engaged in some of these behaviors that doesn't make u a bad person #it just means u should maybe shift ur perspective moving forward #capitalism is a lifeless desert that grows every day and ao3 is a little oasis #let's all enjoy it while we can #instead of trying to place it within a consumer economy #ranting and raving #txt

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opticalforum · 2 years

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Adapting To The Changing World Requires More Than Shifting Perspective It Needs Transition

Adapting To The Changing World Requires More Than Shifting Perspective It Needs Transition We live in an era where change happens so quickly and its effect is so unpredictable that leaves everyone with different experiences and new challenges to execute what they have learned. In the business world, change is a situation that happens to an organization and the people inside it. Change is…

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#Change #Optical Forum #optometry #Shifting Perspective #Transition

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idolomantises · 4 months

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i keep getting weird passive aggressive comments about some comics not being centered on Dot and Arachne... does anyone read the description anymore? I never advertised Bugtopia as being exclusively about them.

#txt #i feel like the immediate perspective shift to other characters should've made it clear that this is meant to be sort of an anthology serie

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baskeigh-ball · 1 year

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Bonus Page 2/2

BEGINNING | PREVIOUS

Mikey’s intuition knows no bounds

And with that I bring part one of Mutant Manhunt to a close! There’ll be more coming, trust me, but probably not a multi-part comic like this one for a while (just to give myself a break, lol). In the meantime I’ve got plenty to share about this AU, so feel free to stick around :]

#bro i was so excited to do background rendering #and then i actually did it #and i hated every second of it #there was supposed to be even more perspective shifts to like. the actual battle nexus #but i decided i liked myself too much to go through such torture #so yeah live and learn ig #mutant manhunt au #rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt april #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mayhem #my art

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themarginalthinker · 9 months

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completely normal thoughts on how one line in The Lost Boys changed the entire fucking view of the Boys

very totally normal how before, for nearly 90% of the rest of the movie was just 'bad boy vampire bikers' and 'wouldst thou like to live to sick 80s rock backdrop and leather' and 'come to the dark side of your lust and aggression'

but then

in the last fifteen minutes

Paul says something that a horror movie monster shouldn't, and it forever altered how every watcher viewed the supposed antagonists of this story and sparked every fix-it fic I've yet read in this fandom

"You killed Marko."

the pain. the accusation. the revenge for what we can only now see as a fallen family member

very, very normal thoughts.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #paul tlb #auhghgh nooooo my boysss #this is only partially me joking #I'm pretty sure this line alone is what shifts the perspective #we loved the Boys as sexy cool badboy temptation monsters #but this gave them *depth*#like oh #oh they like #care about each other

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earlgodwin · 1 month

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— If you create us a kingdom, we will write the book of our future. The future of the Church, of the world we live in will be ours, yours, and your children's. You say nothing? Why do you think we wished you a cardinal? So you would be Pope one day. Carve us out a kingdom, Cesare, and be both king and pope. I am stunned into silence.

#this scene is just so powerful even though cesare didn't have lines #cesare was proven wrong after all the time he was thinking juan was the favorite...#he came to the realization that even though rodrigo saw so much of himself in him...#he still planned from the beginning to make cesare his true heir!!!#in this scene he was brought relief and a sense of validation after years of feeling inadequate...#like he always intended for cesare to succeed him in the church from the very startwhich was the only way that truly mattered to rodrigo #but ces has always viewed being the leader of the papal army is The prestigious position so he envied juan thinking rodrigo was favoring hi #and when rodrigo shared his dream of creating a papal bloodline to be passed down to cesare and his own son?#cesare's perspective shifted <3 #the borgias #theborgiasedit #cesare borgia #cesareborgiaedit #perioddramaedit #tvarchive #tvedit #cinemapix #tvgifs #tvcentric #by jen

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oddthingsndaydreams · 2 months

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Somedays the artblock wins. Somedays inspiration smashes you like a cadillac on a random dashboard recommend. @transformers-synergize your redesigns are so pretty ;^;

#Transformers Fan Continuity #Transformers Synergize #Moonracer #Augh ;0; her design is so pretty and so clever too!#Moonracer is one of my faves she looks SO good #Like a lil templar so I gave her a standard to bear cuz I needed something to balance the legs of the original pose #And then I died on perspective and ended up simplifying it back down -sobs-#I hope the interpretation is to your liking ;^; I don't think I captured the likeness in her face but if I kept fixing it I'd never post #The legs and the 'coat' and the segmentation of her chest and the tire placement and her antenna I'm ;0; I love love love the redesign #Also you have such a fantastic grasp on color theory. The analogous colors with complimentary details and the general shift towards #Orange/Green is so pretty! Such rich soothing colors #I'm sorry some of the shapes are off btw I misread her shoulders entirely and didn't realize until my motivation died again

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cock-holliday · 3 months

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Thinking thinking thinking about Leslie Feinberg in Outlaw talking about gender and zie described hirself as a “transgendered woman.” Leslie had ID’ed as “trans” but I had not heard til that interview zie saying “transgender(ed) woman.”

I know zie considered hirself still a lesbian, and something under a trans umbrella, and while many were quick to assign “trans man” or “transmasc” onto hir, I knew that somewhere in a sense of womanhood, zie identified with a woman-adjacent label still.

I had not considered zie would combine hir sense of womanhood with the label of trans but it makes complete sense, and gives a whole new layer to hir sense of sisterhood with (amab) trans women!

Zie was a woman in a transgressive, transitional, transgender(ed) way. A trans woman.

What a concept of gender and transness that would make so many spaces spit blood. But it makes total sense!

Oh, to have more people recognize the trans umbrella (and frankly entire queer umbrella) as a spectrum of transgressive gender and not as mirrors for cisheteropatriarchy.

#leslie feinberg #outlaw 1994 #I’ve seen clips but never the whole video!!#in 1994 no less #damn wish id seen this sooner #leslie continuously rocking my world when it comes to gender understanding #the shit zie and Kate Bornstein did—partially just by existing—has had such a profound impact on me #everything both said was either relatable as hell or so jarring but understandable when I shifted my perspective #which forced me to accept the odd parts of myself #dare I say…the queerest parts

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golvio · 6 months

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Tried the Damsel route today.

This shot and the sequence leading up to it is probably one of the most disturbing things in the whole game. It's to existential horror what the Prisoner sawing her own head off was to physical horror. If anything, the Prisoner's autodecapatation is now less horrifying, in retrospect, because at least she got to keep her personality and free will throughout the process.

But, also...even in the routes where we don't mean to hurt her, where we do everything in our power to avoid physically hurting her...we still hurt her.

Even if we came in here with the very best of intentions and tried to "do the right thing," we still hurt her by our thoughts and desires hollowing her out until she was reduced to...this.

Going through the "happy" version of the ending didn't feel so triumphant, after that. Not just because the ending wasn't quite as satisfying from a narrative standpoint without any sort of conflict to struggle against, but because the whole time it felt like she was following a script. Apart from the vague impulse to leave that all Princesses possessed, she'd been hollowed out of everything that had made her...well, her, before Chapter II. She didn't panic when the door shut, she didn't stop smiling when we suggested she might end the world or have to cut off her arm a second time. The only thing we noticed about her in Chapter I was her lack of response to pain and her sweet smiles, and our fantasies hollowed her out until she became nothing but that.

Can we say she was "happy" if she lacked the capacity to be anything but "happy" with our choices for her? Can you call that love? Or is it something that's even lonelier than outright being alone?

Honestly, it was a relief when the Shifting Mound took her. Seeing her made so shallow felt incredibly cruel, given who she was before she was flattened, and what she would've been capable of if we had done literally anything else. At that point, "You molded her to love you" and "She has served her purpose" felt like both an observation and an accusation.

But, given that my time with the Damsel was paired with Shifty's third vessel dialogue...it got me thinking about what She wants.

She says She doesn't want anything, that She's governed by the whims of whatever force is shaping Her at the moment, but...is She really happy, having who She is be subject to the whims of who's perceiving Her? Is She okay with not being able to hold a shape She's discovered she likes as soon as someone else perceives Her to be something different? Would She ever want to take a break from...all that? After all, She's drawn to us. The Long Quiet. The god of eternity and order. On a certain level, She craves stability.

Is her "gift" to us what She's secretly wanted all along? The power to choose Her own fate, Her own identity, and the power to change it if She doesn't like the path She's on? And what does that say about our gifts? Do we yearn for the completion we offer her through the vessels, given that we keep shattering to pieces every time we go back into the breach and start the loop again? Is this some kind of wacky flipped-upside-down Gift of the Magi situation where each of us gives the other what they yearn for but lack due to our being permanently separated into two beings against our will?

#long post #slay the princess #slay the princess spoilers #stp spoilers #the damsel #the shifting mound #existential horror #i mean tony didn't exactly specify that *we* were the only one having an existential crisis here #just that SOMA was an influence #new perspectives run

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chaosnoirjpg · 2 years

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// how to not give a fuck //

// HOW TO NOT GIVE A FUCK // - what do you value? that is what you give a fuck about. - value is what you choose. choose what you value and don't give a fuck about anything else - suffering = pain x resistance - everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting adversity - pain is unavoidable, when we resist pain is when we truly suffer - mindfully tolerating distress is less painful - it is not about taking the path of least resistance, it is about taking the path that has the type of pain you want - you are always choosing what you care about - being selective of what we care about is a sign of maturity - adversity is necessary to create and appreciate happiness, it we have no problems the mind will create them - pain is how we avoid mistakes in the future - does not hope for life without problems instead hope for a life full of good problems, problems never stop they just get exchanged - everything comes with certain dis/advantages; its about choosing which dis/advantages you want to life with - power, privilege and oppression are not mentioned or touched upon in the book by the author so take advice with a grain of salt - you pain doesn't make you special, you aren't alone in your suffering - bad values: superstitious, socially destructive, not immediate or controlled and external; i.e. pleasure, material success, being right - good values: reality-based, socially constructive, immediate and controlled, achieved internally

// GOOD VALUES // 1. take responsibility: blame and fault is past-tense but responsibility is present 2. accepting uncertainty 3. growing from failure/pain 4. accepting rejection/boundaries 5. the contemplation of mortality

// Notes on Good Values // - choosing a problem is better than being forced into a problem - choosing = empowered - fated/forced = victimized/disempowered - no matter the external circumstances, we are individually responsible for -everything in our lives - blame - moral high horse, warped victimhood - fight confirmation bias-confirming what you already know, no room to grow or explore, safety zone, it is masked insecurity to feel like you are right all the time

// make yourself uncertain that is where you will find growth // - what if I am wrong, what would that mean? - would being wrong worsen or improve my current problem for myself?

// editional notes // - action proceeds motivation - so do something, then you'll feel better about it - Act according to your values: if you value honesty then practice unadulterated expression, unpleasant honesty, freedom and beauty is in being blunt and honest, this action breeds trust and honesty - other ppls feelings are not your problem; other ppl must learn how to regulate their own emotion - healthy relationships: both parties need to be able to say "no" and hear "no"

How to not give a fuck - https://youtu.be/HNE2HBUHbK0

#how to not give a fuck #good values #psychology #healing #shifting perspective #spiritual healing #spiritual #my post #my posts #chaos noir #chaos noir jpg #art of abe #abe the artist

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luna-lovegreat · 4 months

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I love Jojo's new totk comic

Because the part of Tulin flying with Link