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gunsandspaceships · 1 month

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Tony Stark’s achievements

Childhood:

“Brilliant and unique mind”

At age 4 built his first circuit board

At age 6 built his first engine

Cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare

Went to college at 14

Built cool smart robots (Dum-E and U) when he was a teen

At 17 graduated summa cum laude from MIT

Polyglot

Before Afghanistan:

“Da Vinci of our time”

Became an owner and CEO of Stark Industries at 21

Successfully ran the company for decades

Advanced the world of technology, not only in weaponry and robotics but also:

created advanced AI J.A.R.V.I.S.

created holographic interface technology

created repulsor technology

Participated in charity

In and after Afghanistan:

“I’m sorry, I’m not Tony Stark”

Survived an open-heart surgery in a cave, without general anesthesia

Lived with, in fact, a debilitating wound, shrapnel, and a huge and dangerous technological device in his body for years and was willing and capable of doing not only his usual work but also being a superhero and doing all these next things...

Did not give up under torture and fought with his captors

Invented and built a miniaturized Arc Reactor, in a cave, with a box of scraps

Invented and built Iron Man armor, in the same cave, with the same box of scraps

Escaped from captivity by himself (with help from Yinsen, but without any armed assistance)

Became an expert in piloting and driving

Saved people in Gulmira

Saved a USAF pilot

Probably the best hacker in the world, was able to easily hack networks of the Pentagon, US government, AIM, and SHIELD

Fought with Iron Monger after nearly died. Defeated him and saved many lives. Was ready to die for that

Built many more different Iron Man armors

Fought terrorists between IM and IM2 (IM2 tie-in comics)

Saved a submarine crew (IM2 - newspapers in Vanko’s home)

Saved a woman from a fire (IM2 - newspapers in Vanko’s home)

“Stabilized East-West relations” (IM2 - newspapers in Vanko’s home), so the world was “enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years”

Organized Stark Expo

Was able to keep Iron Man armor in his safe hands despite the government’s and HYDRA’s attempts to take it for themselves

Defeated Ivan Vanko in Monaco

(Re)Discovered a new element

Synthesized it, by building a particle accelerator, at home

Revolutionized energy industry and science. Gave clean energy to the world

Defeated Vanko in New York with Rhodey, Natasha, and Pepper and saved many lives again

Saved Peter Parker (IM2)

Made it so that the Abomination would not leave prison and join the Avengers

Built Stark/Avengers Tower powered by Arc Reactor technology

Saved Steve Rogers and many civilians in Germany from Loki

Was able to fight with Thor on equal terms

Biggest brain on Earth, arguably - in the Universe:

best scientist on the team, in SHIELD, on Earth, in the Universe

expert in nuclear, particle, and quantum physics

was able to learn very quickly – became an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics in one night

Successfully tracked Tesseract by its gamma radiation with Bruce

Saved Helicarrier with the Avengers and SHIELD agents on board, almost died

Saved Rogers from a merc right after that

Fought with Chitauri, killed many of them, saved a lot of people

Was able to blow up a Leviathan by himself

Saved New York City by redirecting a nuke to the wormhole

Saved the world by destroying Thanos’ Chitauri army, almost died again

Founded The United States Department of Damage Control to clean up after battles

Rebuilt Stark Tower into Avengers Tower and gave each team member their own quarters

One of the best biologists and biomedical engineers on Earth, even if it’s not his main area of expertise:

helped Maya with Extremis back in 1999, because knew more in her own field, and even didn’t remember that

was head hunted by Aldrich Killian to work on Extremis with/instead of Maya, who was the leading expert in tissue regeneration

improved and stabilized Extremis, so it became safe regenerative technology, and with it…

cured Pepper

healed extensive injuries in his chest

invented and implanted devices for remote control of his suits (into his forearm in IM3, and most probably into his brain for Mark L armor in Infinity War)

invented build-in diagnostic system in his suits

Invented many devices for protection purposes (ex. bomb disposal)

A capable detective. Figured out the cause of explosions in IM3 on his own

Saved Pepper instead of himself by putting Mark 42 on her during the attack on his Malibu mansion

Survived the attack with a barely working prototype suit. Shot down a helicopter with a piano

Was able to fight with enhanced fire-breathing regenerating terrorists without armor and weapons in Rose Hill. In handcuffs

Knowledgeable and skilled in medicine:

saved a kid with his arc reactor in a deleted scene from IM3, selflessly pulling it out of his chest and performing defibrillation under electric shocks

knew how to recognize hyperglycemia when Harley was eating 3rd bawl of candies

closed his wound in Infinity War with nanoparticles

performed first-aid on Bruce after his snap

Built a lot of stuff from random things he bought in a store for the assault on the Mandarin's mansion. In a motel

Successfully stormed the Mandarin's mansion full of armed and huge security guys with dogs. Alone. Without his armor

Successfully escaped captivity in the Mandarin's mansion with just a few pieces of armor on

Saved all the people who fell from the Air Force One

Stormed Roxxon Norco ship with Rhodey, without a suit. With one handgun

Saved the US president

Defeated Killian and his Extremis-enhanced terrorists, saved many lives

Built quinjets

Created Iron Legion

Became the benefactor of the Avengers, provided them with everything, was a combatant, and also the team’s pilot, hacker, engineer, medic, and scientist

As an Avenger saved many lives on missions, including destroying the rest of HYDRA in AoU

With Bruce’s help created Veronica and Hulkbuster suit

Defeated a rogue Iron Legionnaire with a fork

In contrast to other team members was able to function after Wanda played with his mind

Defeated mad Hulk. Saved a lot of lives in Johannesburg

Easily hacked nuclear codes in Nexus and found J.A.R.V.I.S. “in the world’s biggest haystack”

Created advanced AI F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Many advanced AIs

Created Vision

With the Avengers defeated Ultron and his army

Evacuated people who were left in Sokovia

Saved a falling evacuation shuttle with people on it

Together with Thor saved Earth by destroying the falling Sokovia

Rebuilt Stark Compound into Avengers Compound for the team in Upstate New York

Invented several medical devices, including leg braces, blood toxicity detector

Sponsored the development of technology for psychotherapy (B.A.R.F.). Prevented it from being used for harm

Funded all the students’ projects at MIT

Did everything possible to legally, politically, and physically protect the team before, during, and after the Civil War

Was able to disarm Winter Soldier without a suit, with only one armored glove

Figured out Spider-Man’s identity

Created Spider-Man’s suits

Mentored, sponsored, and looked after Peter Parker

Saved Peter Parker (SMH). Twice

Saved the ferry from sinking

Invented nanoparticles

“Earth’s best defender”

Went to space to save Peter, Strange and bring back Time Stone

Saved Peter Parker (IW)

Saved Strange on the Donut spaceship. Killed Ebony Maw

Cloak of Levitation chose him as his second favorite (deleted scene with Tony wearing Levi and Strange in Mark L)

Was respected by Thanos himself

Withstood when Thanos hit him with a moon

Fought Thanos, made him bleed, kept fighting even without armor

Survived a severe injury thanks to his own invention

Was able to function, tried to fix Benatar, and return home while injured and ill with an infected wound

Built a lab for Bruce and helped him to become one with Hulk (combine the best of both worlds)

Became an amazing dad

Became an expert in time travel physics

Discovered/invented (controlled) Time travel

Built a time machine

Went on Time Heist and stole Tesseract from a guarded military base

Created his own Infinity Gauntlet

Thus brought half of the universe back to existence (Bruce snapped and partially sacrificed his health, but nothing would be possible without Tony)

Saved Bruce’s arm by providing emergency medical care

Fought with Thanos again and…

Saved the whole Universe

#tony stark #iron man #mcu #marvel #the avengers #avengers endgame #captain america civil war #avengers age of ultron #iron man 2 #iron man 3 #spider man homecoming #avengers infinity war

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askagamedev · 5 years

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Have you ever worked on a "shovelware" game, I.E. one of this cheap licensed games where most of the game's budget just went into securing the rights to Spiderman/Dragonball Z/etc. and then the developers are left with a shoestring budget plus a very tight schedule to finish the thing? If so, how did you feel working on a game you knew from the start would be terrible?

The feeling of just about any game developer I’ve ever worked with is and has always been “Let’s make this the very best game that we can possibly make it”. We might have to do it with a ton of grease and shoestrings, but we do it and we try to make it the best game that we can. For me, it’s because I know that somebody is going to play it and I want that person to have as good a time as I can feasibly give them.

Once upon a time when I was still a baby dev, I got to work with one of Atari’s original programmer-designers - he was once a one-person dev team for the Atari console games. He did all of the art, design, programming, sound - everything - for many games that are still fondly remembered today. In true “Tony Stark built this in a cave with a box of scraps” fashion, he could build compelling gameplay by himself within all of those limitations in a short amount of time. I still look to his example as inspiration for fostering creativity and fun within an extremely limited scope - budget, schedule, team constraints, etc. I might not be that broad or disciplined in my skill set, but it’s something to aspire to and measure myself against.

We just have to take what we can from each project as a learning experience - I learned to do this better, I now understand about that, in the future I have to remember to do this, and so on and so forth. Working under these sorts of restrictions often makes me a better game dev because I need to be more creative and more careful about expending resources. And hey, sometimes the game actually ends up being pretty fun for the target audience, despite all of its shortcomings and restrictions.

[Join us on Discord]

The FANTa Project is currently on hiatus while I am crunching at work too busy.

[What is the FANTa project?] [Git the FANTa Project]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

#technical constraints #design constraints #game budgets #shovelware #Working in the game industry

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ad1thi · 5 years

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i just rewatched im1 and im2 last night

and i have some thoughts

- While in the Fun-vee, Tony attempts to make the soldiers around him calm and relaxed

- Despite being a “playboy” he doesn’t immediately hit on the only female soldier, and shows her an immense amount of respect

- Tony has no interest in flashy awards. But what is important from the awards ceremony, is that the Rolling Stone cover on a young Tony Stark says Tony Stark wants to save the world

- When Christine Everhart confronts Tony about being a war profiteer, he deflects her answer by bringing up Stark Industries’ intelli-crops and advancements in medical technology, like he genuinely believes the only reason he needs military funding is because those parts of SI can’t sustain themselves

- In Afghanistan, when he’s presenting the Jericho; he quotes his father’s view on weapons

- also what i think is so interesting; is that Tony is CEO?? Even though he’s a genius and stuff CEO’s aren’t usually expected to develop new products- especially when they have multi billion dollar companies and employ thousands of people. But since Tony is captured not for ransom but for his brain, it’s so clear that R&D simply synthesises and tweaks designs that Tony makes. So imagine how hard Tony must’ve worked before the events of IM1 since his designs are literally what the company runs on

- he builds an arc reactor!! in a cave!! with a box of scraps!!

- he is under immense pain!! because he’s just had reconstructive surgery for his chest!! without his consent!!

- he’s got actual metal inside him!!

- he carried around a car battery!!

- the first time we see Tony show any outward emotion in im1 is when Yinsen dies (which means for 3 months despite all the torture and pain Tony maintained his press face)

- the look of pure relief on his face when Rhodey wraps his arms around him is so precious

- the whole press conference scene!! tony literally says that he built weapons to protect american soldiers

- in Tony’s head- he’s doing his patriot duty by building weapons big enough and bad enough that american soldiers don’t have to risk their lives. but if they are going to; you best believe they’ll be outfitted with the best

- he tells Obie i think we need to look into arc reactor technology again because he’s already pitched the idea of taking the company in a different direction before

- he calmly and patiently talks Pepper through switching out the arc reactor while going into cardiac arrest

- you can visibly see the disappointment and hurt in Tony’s eyes when Rhodey tells him that he needs him to get his head right, and how he so quickly shuts down and deflects with a smile

- It’s after that scene with Rhodey that Tony moves his plans for the iron man suit onto a private server because he doesn’t know who to trust right now

- also, im1 proves literally just how hard it is to pilot the armour? tony goes through routine flight simulations and was learning how to regulate the fire power of the repulsers? the iron man armour is clearly so hard to navigate and use? plus i’m sure its ridiculously heavy since in the desert scene multiple people are seen pulling various pieces of armour back to the Ten Rings hold

- the entire gala scene. the dance. the rooftop almost kiss. christine everhart. tony almost crying after he finds out that his company has been double dealing for years and he’s just let it happen

- also; we get to see a bit of undersuit in im1 and i just wanna say; it was amazing

- tony risked being caught and possibly shot at with multiple missiles to save (1) pilot’s life

- his entire conversation w rhodey; and the actual-facts relief that you see on his face when, instead of lecturing him, rhodey immediately works on protecting him

- i shouldn’t be alive. not if it was for a reason. i’m not crazy Pepper, i just finally know what i have to do. and i know in my heart that it’s right.

- the naked and blatant guilt that tony feels because his company was double dealing and he never kept a close enough eye to make sure that they weren’t

- also; anyone else get really annoyed by the sheer amount of times coulson showed up? SHIELD didn’t even give tony a day before they tried to debrief him after 3 months of captivity and then coulson refused. to. let. it. go

- well i’m sorry. i’m not tony stark

- the whole climax; but mainly the part where tony was willing to die if it meant that obie also died and that pepper was safe. despite how important his missions were and how badly he wanted to fix his mistakes- he valued saving pepper’s life from obie over that

- i am iron man

that’s it!! that’s all my thoughts for im1

its basically just a list of all the scenes that i thought showcased the complex creature that is tony stark and his backstory the best.

stuff like his press face, the effect his dad had on him, his true opinions on SI being a weapons manufacturer, his relationship with Rhodey, Obie and Pepper

also

watching im1 and im2 made me realise how much i acc despise SHIELD

like i enjoy fanon natasha and coulson but not canon coulson and natasha??

or canon fury for that matter

anyway tune in next post to discover what i think about im2 i guess

idek if anyone’s gonna read this but i felt like making it

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wits-writing · 5 years

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Avengers: Endgame (Movie Review SPOILERS)

Avengers: Endgame, directed by Anthony and Joe Russo with a screenplay by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, has a clearly delineated story structures, basically splitting its story among three different genres to bring in so much of the scope that’s been built up in 21 previous movies. Even accounting for its three-hour runtime, how much payoff and experimenting with the character dynamics from throughout the MCU’s history has been fit into this one astonishes. Each segment has ways of managing tone and dealing with the finality at play that warrant discussing how they work on individual levels. I’m going to try something different by doing exactly that with this review, followed by highlighting my favorite performances in the movie. This will mean spoilers, but the stuff I want to discuss requires that and I won’t give away the biggest moments Endgame has up its sleeve.

Final Warning: If you don’t want to be spoiled on anything about Avengers: Endgame, turn back now but know this is a satisfying finale for everything the MCU has built.

[Full Review and SPOILERS Under the Cut]

Act 1 (Prologue/Post-Snap World):

The prologue of the movie effectively tells the audience what the movie will not be about. When Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) arrives at Avengers HQ after saving Tony (Robert Downey Jr.) and Nebula (Karen Gillan) from being stranded in space, Endgame goes through the motions of the most obvious follow-up to Infinity War. The heroes regroup with their new powerful ally to kick Thanos’s ass properly this time around with the intent to get the Infinity Stones and undo the Snap. Things get complicated with a revelation when they go to find Thanos on the idyllic planet he’s retired on after achieving his twisted idea of “balance.” The Mad Titan used his second act with the Infinity Stones to self-destruct them, so the Snap can’t be undone. After Thor kills Thanos in a swift act of rage, the Avengers are left with no solid idea of what their next move will be.

That’s when the next major reveal of Endgame’s premise occurs, it’s set five years in the future from where the prologue left off. The time-skip effectively jumps us into a new status quo the characters have settled into and how some have dealt with the Post-Snap world better than others. Some of the Avengers had more invested in the mission than others and either desperately seek a new one or completely close themselves off due to lack of purpose. Others have managed to find renewed purpose through rebuilding their personal lives, finding a sense of balance and moving on, even if guilt over being unable to stop Thanos has stuck with them.

This act represents the movie at its most somber and considerate. Even the humor that does manage to creep into this part of the movie is more subdued or the product of characters lashing out in frustration. We get the most time inside the heads of the characters in the opening stretch and we’re given a sense of what they still have to lose in the aftermath of their greatest failure. However, things shift gears into the second act, when the heroes get the chance to start making things right.

Act 2 (Time Heist):

Endgame starts reintroducing the type of fun that’s more expected from the Avengers movies by way of reintroducing the audience to Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), aka Ant-Man. He emerges from the Quantum Realm after the mid-credits cliffhanger from Ant-Man and the Wasp, but the five years only felt like five hours to him. After catching up on what he missed and reuniting with his loved ones, he decides to go to Avengers HQ with his revelations about the Realm and how they could use it to bring back everyone dusted in the Snap by tracking down the Infinity Stones throughout time. Which ends up meaning the Avengers taking a tour through the events of past MCU movies.

The buildup to the actual trips through time transition from the more dower tone of the opening by turning the middle of the movie into a heist. Like any decent entry in that genre, it begins by bringing the team together. This is where the last couple of heroes that haven’t made appearances in the movie yet make their return and they’re the ones in more amusing positions post-time-skip. Some of the team use this as a chance to pick themselves back up as having a new mission breathes new life into them. Others still have some heavy lifting to do in that area that has to wait until they’re already on the MacGuffin quest. They determine which times are best for picking up the Stones as efficiently as possible with the limited resources at their disposal.

Once the time travel begins, how much an audience member gets out of it will inevitably be tied to how much they have invested in the MCU as a series and the entries being revisited in particular. I can’t be impartial about how well this would work for the casual fan of these movies, since I’ve watched most of them multiple times over the years. It’s about as blatant as fan service can get and represents the movie at its lightest tone overall. Even if specific events aren’t being revisited, there are nods, winks and cameos from past characters aplenty to go around as Endgame pays tribute to every storyteller that’s added something to this universe. My personal favorite bits come from how the movie uses this time to answer retroactive questions of “what was X-character doing during Y-event”, especially during the part that revolves around the Battle of New York from The Avengers.

It’s not all jokes and continuity nods, since going through ones own past presents plenty of opportunity for self-reflection. Characters get the chance to see how far they’ve come, reexamine their regrets and bring relationships with other characters full-circle. The exact mechanics of what can and can’t be done in the past are loose but usually in service to the character arcs being brought to fruition. Since it wouldn’t be a heist or a time travel story without something going wrong along the way, this is also where the buildup for the final act of the movie occurs.

Act 3 (Final Battle/Epilogue):

If the second act was examining the MCU’s past compared to how far they’ve come, the final act is about showing off the full spectacle of what’s been built from that past. It’s a sight to behold as stories get payed off and called back, all while the scale grows to a level that makes the battles from even the biggest superhero movies of the last twenty years look miniscule by comparison. The cathartic execution of this battle is awe-inspiring and goes beyond anything else I can remember seeing in my life. All of it leads into the movie’s epilogue as the characters are left to consider what they’ve sacrificed to win the day. The final stretch of this movie emphasizes a sense of finality on par with the multiple epilogues from Return of the King. Even as the MCU inevitably continues after this, there’s a sense that the story that began with Tony Stark in a cave with a box of scraps has concluded.

The Characters:

Since Endgame’s mainly a conclusion for what began with Phase 1 of the MCU, the original six Avengers get the bulk of this movies character work. Keeping things focused to a core group of characters makes this movie ultimately feel more satisfying for them than Infinity War, where they were mostly a reactive force to Thanos’s machinations.

Tony’s presented as the one with the most to lose before they go on their time travel mission, since he’s put the most work into rebuilding his life after the Snap. When he’s first presented with the time travel plan, he dismisses it as a pipedream of a Hail Mary pass. His own desire to make things right eventually wins out and he’s the one to put the finishing touches on the devices that make their mission possible. He’s paired up with Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) for the mission as it takes them on a tour of the intersections in their personal histories. Theirs is probably the strongest of the segments that makeup the second act of Endgame and serves as a worthwhile reconciliation for the two after their falling out in Captain America: Civil War.

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) has been stuck dealing with witnessing everything he ever defined himself by crumble with the weight of his failure to stop Thanos as his breaking point. He’s given up on any version of Thor he thought himself to be in the past, not the arrogant prince we first met him as nor the hero he became. He’s retreated from himself and that makes him the most reluctant to go along with the plan to fix everything. His depression is played partly for laughs and given signifiers of letting himself go like overeating and alcoholism. It’s likely a divisive decision to do this with Thor, but I enjoy the way it pays off. He also continues his great dynamic with Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) from Infinity War, which plants Rocket in the rare position of being the mature one in the situation.

Natasha (Scarlet Johannsen) spent the past five years actively throwing herself into mitigating the chaos caused in the wake of the Snap. She’ll take any problem as an excuse to keep herself busy rather than dwell on how her efforts to do the right thing as an Avenger added up to a zero-sum when it counted most. In the time between those dilemmas, she’s busy tracking down Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner). He lost his entire family in the Snap and it broke him. He’s gone on an international killing spree of any major criminals spared from being dusted. The two reunite for the sake of the mission and are both prepared to give up anything to make up for the sins of their respective pasts.

Bruce (Mark Ruffalo) is probably the character there’s the least to say about. The position he’s in after the time-skip is amusing. He’s managed to make peace with his Hulk-side and now permanently hulked-out with a more affable demeanor overall that suits Ruffalo’s performance perfectly. It’s a fun decision, showing one of the characters taking the perspective granted by experiencing a cosmic tragedy to work through his personal issues but it leaves him with little to do but exposit about the plot mechanics of time travel. There are some great bits where he struggles to imitate the past-Hulk’s rage to stay incognito on their time travel mission that make this decision the most worth it.

Aside from the original Avengers, the character given the most material to work with is Nebula. The character and Gillan’s performance have been a consistently underrated aspect of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, but the spotlight she’s given here makes her best showcase yet. The time travel segment ends up showing how far the character has come since her first appearance. It’d be difficult to discuss much more without going into further spoilers than I have already, but she’s definitely Endgame’s secret weapon for why it works as well as it does.

Conclusion:

Honestly, I don’t know what else to say at this point. Avengers: Endgame makes an effective celebration of everything the Marvel Cinematic Universe has built up. If you’ve read this far past my spoiler warnings already, you’ve either already seen it and made up your own mind or wanted more details about what the experience of this finale is like. This is a curtain call on eleven years of evolution for superhero movies as a genre and I’m happy I got to see it happen. Part of me will never believe they actually pulled it off, but they did and these characters have earned a permanent place in film history for it.

If you like what you’ve read here, please like/reblog or share elsewhere online, follow me on Twitter (@WC_WIT), and consider throwing some support my way at either Ko-Fi.com or Patreon.com at the extension “/witswriting”

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anotherhumanmess · 5 years

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Why Tony Stark is a Ravenclaw

There are still people out there, who think, that Tony Stark is a Slytherin, and I’m gonna change their mind.

I’m starting to explain, why he perfectly fits the definition of a Ravenclaw. After that I’m gonna explain, why I don’t think, that Slytherin is the right house for him. Please, don’t be offended by any of that, I adore every single house, I just think, that Tony’s not a Slytherin. If that’s still your opinion after all, that’s absolutely fine.

Okay, what is the first thing you get in mind, when you think about Tony Stark? I think it’s very clear, it’s his mind. He is a genius, we’re all aware about it, right? Okay, two of the biggest qualities of a Ravenclaw is their intelligence and their wit. I think, I don’t need to explain, why that fits.

So, next there’s the wisdom. Well, to be honest, I think Tony’s smart as hell, but he’s not wise. He does a lot of stupid and irrational things, and if you’re going to ask him for an advice, he would probably give you a stupid one.

Next one are creativity, originality and individuality. Okay, let’s have a look at Iron Man 1. You’ve been captured in a cave with nothing more than a box of scraps. You are forced to build a missile and you are connected to a car battery. Of course you are searching for a way to get out, but what are you gonna do? Try to escape through a tunnel? Try to knock out the guards? Build a weapon or a gun, to shoot your way out?

Not if you’re Tony Stark. He built an armour, the first of its kind. Because he always has his own ways to do things. Always had. That’s why Stark Industries always been so successful, why it was always on the top. Because Tony’s always the first one doing things, he invented so many things, because of his creativity. He built the Iron Man suit all on his own. There’s no one like him and there’s nothing like his mind. Because he is original and individual and I can’t imagine someone, who didn’t see that.

I don’t know if that’s an official Ravenclaw characteristic, but Pottermore and other websites talking about learning, so let’s check that. This is a fast one, because Tony is always learning new stuff. Remember this scene? From Avengers (2012)?

Yes, he became an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics over night. Because he learned about it. Just as he learned about the arc-reactor and new elements in Iron Man 2, and a lots of other stuff. Not mentioning how much he learned to get his PhDs.

I know, the Harry Potter Wiki says there is another quality - acceptance. But I’m not quit sure, what that’s about, I’m not a native english speaker, so if some of you could explain this to me, that would be great. But I think, everyone understands why I think, that Tony fits very good in Ravenclaw.

Let’s get to the Slytherin part.

I totally understand, why people get Tony sorted into Slytherin. He has resourcefulness, absolutely. I don’t think anyone can doubt that. And he is clever, no doubt here.

I would give him the cunning one, although he got tricked by Maya Hansen in Iron Man 3. So I wouldn’t say that’s one of the characteristics of Tony, but I can see, why people are going for it, so that’s okay.

Ambition and determination are the next ones, and to be honest? I don’t fully agree to that. I mean, he can be ambitious and he can be determined, but I think for that, he gives up to easy sometimes. In Iron Man 2 he would’ve died, if Fury, Phil and Nat didn’t tell him to get up and do something. There are also a view hints in endgame, but I won’t talk about that, because I don’t want to spoil anything. So, I wouldn’t say, ambition and determination are basic qualities of Tony.

Fraternity is problematic. I won’t say, Tony is a team player. I mean, yeah, he works with the avengers, but it took a while, to get him there. He was always more like a lone wolf, the only exception might be Rhodey. I wouldn't say he is very fraternal.

Traditionalism is absolutely none of Tony’s traits, and I don’t think, I have to explain that. He invented a lot of new things, he changed the course of his whole industrie and he didn’t care about traditions at all. Like christmas for example. I mean, did you saw a christmasy Tony in Iron Man 3? Like, the whole movie sets around christmas and I always forget this, because there are no signs. Tony is a very modern person, I’m sure about that.

Leadership quality. Well, no. I mean, he is good at co-leading, I have to give him that, at least with the avengers. But Tony himself said, that Steve is the boss and it was always Steve who lead the avengers. Because Tonys decisions are too irrational to actually lead things. He cares too little about important stuff, I mean, he was not a great CEO for Stark Industries, that’s why he made Pepper CEO. And because she deserved it ofc. He is not good at diplomacy and moreover, I doubt he wanted to lead anything. I think he doesn’t care for something like that, which brings me to my next point.

Pursuit of power. I know, that’s not an official one, but it was available on Pottermore and they’re websites, that have that on their lists. So, just wanted to say that power’s nothing, that Tony ever wanted. He was one of the most powerful men on earth, still is, but he gave up on his CEO position. He never became Iron Man because he wanted power, he became Iron Man, because he wanted to do something right.

And last but not least - self preservation. Well, nope, nope, nope.

Remember the missile from Avengers (2012)?

Remember him giving up his life in Iron Man 2?

Remember this avengers poster?

Tony always had a self-sacrificing side, he would always lay down on the wire and let the other guys crawl over him. Always. So I don’t give him that.

So, what does that say?

Tony totally has a few Slytherin traits, but mostly, he has almost every Ravenclaw trait. And I think, the characteristic that pops up in your head, if you’re thinking about Tony is his mind, his intelligence and his individuality. There will never be a second Iron Man. There will never be a second Tony Stark.

That’s why Tony Stark is a Ravenclaw.

#tony stark #avengers #iron man #harry potter #hogwarts #slytherin #ravenclaw

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ajmoser · 5 years

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Avengers: Endgame Review

Avengers: Endgame

This review contains spoilers.

Endgame is the capstone to a 22-movie cycle of superhero films set in a singular self-contained universe, starting in 2008. In 11 years, two movies have come out each year, some of them origin stories for newly introduced characters, others sequels that told more about the adventures, and included team-ups and crossovers. This final piece, does have some strong potential, but rather than the film focusing on the strength of characterization, the film literally rests on its laurels, looking backward, rather than making a coherent and progressive film within its genre.

Through the three hour piece, which I believe was far too long, I sequestered three sections of the film: 1) Infinity War aftermath, 2) Time Heist 3) The final battle.

The film begins with Iron Man, War Machine, Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Rocket Raccoon, Black Widow, and the newest member to the team, Captain Marvel, as they find out where Thanos is, but it is too late, and he has already destroyed the magic gems that has killed all their friends. In a fit of rage, Thor kills Thanos.

Five years pass, and the Avengers sit and mope, accepting defeat, and trying to move on. The first hour of this movie was filled with dreary, dark landscapes. The characters speak to the audience like action figures, their lines pulling from years of context and easter eggs, rather than speaking to any sort of character development and actual human involvement. The writers were more interested in making a joke that Dr. Strange lived on Bleeker Street in Manhattan, rather than ever acknowledging Thor murdered Thanos in the first 20 minutes of the film. The actor’s lines were stale, blurting out plot details that seemed to be for the sake of the plot than have anything for the actors to do. Most of the cast were going through the motions and speaking with plastic, generic lines. Not one point did I feel like they really lost something. I was just being told it by these broad strokes of character development. I would argue you could exchange the lines of Black Widow with Captain America, or Ant-Man with Iron Man, and there would be little to no difference at all.

The second hour, the time heist, was something unique to the films, with the characters traveling to different eras of the MCU, such as the Battle of New York from the first Avengers film, or the planet where Star Lord finds the Power Stone from Guardians of the Galaxy. While I enjoyed the trip that they took, I also felt like it was a self-indulgent masturbatory romp through their past films. In one end, it could be interesting to see Hulk see how frightening he once was when he had less control of his powers. Or Iron Man seeing at one point where he nearly died in New York. But instead, the film brings more attention to calling out easter eggs, and revisiting past favorites played in different angles. Most of these scenes felt like they were just for the audience to say, “Hey, remember this,” and reward the viewer who can sing along to the Guardians soundtrack, and name every line from Avengers.

That isn’t to say everything is so bad. There’s a strong sequence where Tony Stark goes back to the 70’s and sees his father, while Cap enters the office of Peggy Carter, his love interest from a film that came out in 2011. To me, these were the highlights of the second hour, and for a brief moment, you remember that Tony Stark once built armor in a cave, with a box of scraps, because he needed to live for himself, not because he had to save the world.

All of this leads to Endgame being just a love letter to a world that was created, rather than focusing on the individual heroes who elevated it. What I think I enjoyed the most about Infinity War was that it was a twisted hero’s journey. Thanos was the main character who grew and progressed in order to achieve his goals, killing his own daughter in order to save the universe. Although his concepts of morality were as unrealistic as the MCU’s concept of space travel, he was about as developed as any other superhero that these movies had. Yet, when Thor kills him in the beginning of the movie, all of that is wiped out. Thanos could have been replaced with Ronan from Guardians, or anyone else, and it would have made little difference. In that last hour, he became just another emotionless space villain to the audience.

The final battle is a spectacle. Every character gets an action moment. Pepper Potts dons Iron Man armor. Black Panther runs, jumps, and kicks through a crowd. Spider-Man turns on an instant kill function in his suit. Every character pretty much gets a shining moment. Even Captain Marvel returns to go toe to toe with Thanos at one moment, a fight that many fans were waiting for. It’s a little bit of a shame the film resorted to washed out grey tones and dark colors, replacing what was supposed to be upstate New York with a nameless dirt battlefield, making the entire fight a series of grey blobs punctuated with the occasional laser beam. Where are the bright, exciting colors that made the battle of New York in Avengers so great? Or the vibrant orange and greens from Guardians? It was great seeing robot arms pop out of Spider-Man’s suit, but unfortunately, it was so dark and bleak, it looked like a bunch of grey sticks poking through play-doh. Thrilling stuff.

Of course, at the end, there are some deaths, both good and bad. I wasn’t particularly emotional at the end, but I understand it’s a goodbye to a character. Heroes live. Heroes die. Heroes grow old.

This was a Marvel movie that was about the Marvel movie. An ensemble piece at its best, or perhaps its worst. It has some good moments, but overall it is overstuffed, overfluffed, rewarding the the viewer for lasting 11 years, 21 movies, and three hours, at the cost of a good story with characters that were defined by better movies that than this one.

Back in the day, Marvel Comics used to give out something called a “No Prize” to readers who figured out obscure trivia, or spotted certain references. Receiving a No Prize is a badge of honor for the nerdiest and self-indulgent. Like the fabled No Prize, Endgame is a slip of paper, that does very little other than titillate the mind of the individual who gets gratification for being the ultimate fan.

#Avengers #avengers endgame #movie #review #spoilers #avengers spoilers #mcu #marvel #marvel movies

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brobi-wanwrites · 6 years

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Out-Dated Review: Iron Man

A decade ago life was a bit more simple. I was turning 15 and besides finding time to play GTA IV and high school I didn't have a care in the world. My birthday was never a big deal but earlier that year I got my first PS3 and was desperate to start a Blu Ray collection. I told my mother the one thing I wanted for a gift that year was Iron Man. She delivered. That night after reading the case over a dozen times me and my best friend would sit down and watch the movie that jump started the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

At the time I knew as little as you could about Ironman. I spent most of my time reading Spider-Man, X-men and Batman comics so the only things I really knew about Tony Stark was that he was a rich alcoholic and was really prevalent in 2006s Civil War which was in my backlog of comics. Going into this movie I really had nothing to go on besides the great reviews it was getting and that I was always excited to see a comic book character get their chance on the big screen. After credits rolled like many people my expectations were blown away. I watched it again and again enjoying every minute of it. I then dove into my comic backlog and read Civil War and any other Ironman story I could find. It’s safe to say that the first Ironman reinvigorated my and many others love for comics, all while starting a universe that would have as deep of lore as the comics they adapted from.

So ten years later, does Ironman hold up?

(SPOILERS)

Lets start things off with the story.

We’re introduced to Playboy Billionaire Weapons Designer/Manufacturer Tony Stark and he’s just as much as cocky jerk as you would think he’d be. Skipping out on an award presented to him so he could gamble, sleeping with a reporter who’s writing a hit piece on his company and giving little care to the crew of his private plane as he arrives late for its departure. Couple this with how he almost gloats at the amount of death and destruction his weapons bring you would be safe to assume that Tony is unremarkable cliche villain, except he’s not.

I don’t know if it’s his charm alone, his acting chops or how relatable he is to the character but Robert Downy Jr. makes Tony Stark probably one of the most believable and entertaining personality in the MCU. He brings so much life and fun to Tony even before his good guy turn in this movie. Easily stealing every scene he’s in, RDJ was undoubtedly destined to play Tony Stark.

Speaking of good guy turns.

Things go astray for Tony after a weapon presentation in Afghanistan as he’s fatally injured and kidnapped by a terrorist group known as The Ten Rings (more on them later). He awakes in a cave with a car battery attached to his chest, powering an electromagnet that’s keeping the shrapnel away from his heart and other vital organs. Parties amirite? He’s made aware that The Ten Rings are his “loyal customers” and have been using all his weaponry and is then forced to build them his latest weapon. Tony reluctantly agrees and uses the supplies and resources to build something a bit more powerful, a miniaturized Arch Reactor. An invention of his fathers that’s used to power a factory, Tony designed his to be a little more compact. It has enough power to keep the magnet [in his chest] charged for a thousand lifetimes or something big for ten minutes.

Thus Ironman is born.

Even for ten years old at this point, the CGI still holds up. The suits in this movie, whether it’s the Mk I, II or III all look fantastic and just completely seamless. I never once even questioned if they built an actual prop suit or not, it looked so good i assumed they did. Coincidentally the first Ironman is the only movie they actually built the full suit, every subsequent movie they used mo-cap primarily.

After 3 months using only weapon parts and presumably some scrap metal Tony builds the Mk I and kicks some serious ass in his escape. He’s quickly reunited with his friends and coworkers back in the States and damn does he want a burger. Also he announces very publicly he’s done with making and selling weapons. This is Tony’s big turn, he realizes the real cost of him profitting off war with his weapons and decides he is alone responsible for making things right. His business partner and his deceased fathers long time friend Obadiah Stane advises him to lay low for awhile after crashing his companies stock with his big announcement.

The Stark Employee Roster.

RDJ may steal the whole show but Ironman boasts a pretty big and talented cast. Gwenneth Paltrow as the remarkable and composed assistant to Stark Pepper Potts, she’s a joy to have on screen and perfectly bounces dialogue off RDJ. Terrence Howard plays Stark's best friend and military liaison Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Howard plays this character really cool and I have a hard time seeing Rhodey as much as I see Terrence Howard. His chemistry with RDJ is phenomenal off the bat though, something that takes Cheadle & RDJ about another movie or so to get right. Paul Bettany lends his soothing voice to articulate Siri knock-off known as JARVIS. While his role obviously becomes more expanded upon in later films, Bettany brings a simple yet appealing approached to the A.I. here that pairs well with Tony’s persona. Rounding it out you have the rugged Jeff Bridges playing Tony’s mentor and eventual madman Obadiah Stane. Bridges brings something to this role that I can’t quite put my finger on, he just fully leans into this character and I can feel his presence on screen. He does however have a very sudden change of character entering the third act, he goes from conniving business man to super villain so abruptly I may have whiplash (wink) now.

Bored and nothing to do.

Stark finds himself in isolation and does the only thing his obsessive brain lets him do, work. He begins designing and testing an updated version of the suit he escaped imprisonment with. The Mk II is a thinner, shinier and more airborne suit than its predecessor. It just isn't up to snuff for Tony though, so after a quick flight test with some icing issues, he completely redesigns the suit. After seeing on TV that someone is throwing a party without him, Tony decides laying low just isn’t for him and crashes the party. Thankfully the party is hosted by Stark Industries so Tony can just walk in with no real problem. It’s here that Tony learns that his mentor and friend Obadiah Stane filed an injunction against him and is trying to force him out of the company and may be dealing weapons under the table.

Tony decides take the moral high ground and hops in his new suit the MkIII which must be the coolest getting dressed montage I’ve ever seen, then flies for 6 hours back to Afghanistan. He proceeds to just ruin the Ten Rings day by destroying their weapon caches, which include plenty of Tony's own weapons. After surely making the locals think he’s some sort of alien or metal angel he flies back home, only to be intercepted by two fighter jets. What ensues is an entertaining little game of cat and mouse for a minute until Rhodey, whose job is seemingly just to be convenient to Tony shows up and Tony informs him he is in the suit that the fighters are chasing. Rhodes clears everything up as a trainig exorcise and Tony makes it home.

It’s here our big reveal happens, Obadiah is a bad guy and he hired the Ten Rings to kill Tony but they didn’t like the deal, so they altered it like Vader. Now they want to alter it even further and have Obadiah build them Metal Soldiers like the one Tony escaped with. Obidiah smiles and politely kills this faction of the Ten Rings and figures he might as well build his own suit with his own arch reactor.

Back at the factory while speaking to his team of scientists about their inability to replicate Tony’s miniaturized Arch Reactor, Jeff Bridges delivers the best line in the movie.

“TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAAAVE, WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS”

After this everything starts to happen real fast. Pepper finds a video that directly incriminates Obadiah, he panics and politely tries to kill tony, Rhodes shows up to try and save a dying Tony but he already saved him self. Once he catches his breath Tony hops in his suit to go find Obadiah. Terrence Howard takes a look at the MkII and decides it’s better that Don Cheadle gets to use it. Pepper while accompanied by some agents finds Obadiah's lab only then to be ambushed by Obadiah in a what can only be described as the offspring on the hulk-buster armour and war machine, Iron Monger.

Tony flies in with no time to spare and saves Pepper. A street fight ensues between Iron Man and Iron Monger with them chucking cars at one another. This fight seems oddly small scale now, having been spoiled by the massive fights we’ve seen in recent MCU movies. The smaller scale and one on one fight does feel more personal though and given that this is Iron Mans first outing it makes sense.

The fight goes airborne after Tony realizes he’s no match for the strength of the Iron Monger suit. Much to Tony’s surprise Obadiah has upgraded his suit as well and its now able sustain flight but as a call back to earlier in the film, the Iron Monger suit has an icing problem in higher atmosphere. Tony's suit begins to lose power as they fall back to the roof of the Stark factory. Tony sabotages Obadiah's suit so he cant shoot straight and Obadiah squishes Tony's helmet. Rude. The two men begin to fight with there wits and the bare minimum of their suits. Tony tells pepper to overload the Arch Reactor beneath him and Obadiah and after Tony begs she pushes the bug red button. Boom. Obadiah's suit short circuits and he falls to his death into the Arch Reactor causing it to explode.

I am Iron Man

I gotta give credit to this movies ending. Setting itself up like Tony is going to become your average secret identity super hero but in perfect Tony Stark fashion it subverts that by Tony declaring to the world he is Iron Man. It’s easily one the most memorable moments in all of the MCU. We also get our first name drop of SHIELD here, which at the time blew my mind because up until then super hero movies were so self contained. Credits roll and a Marvel tradition is born as the credits finish and we’re given another scene as Tony walks into his house to see a someone standing in his living room. NICK MF FURY.

“Think you’re the only super hero in the world? Mr.Stark you’ve become part of a bigger universe, you just don’t know it yet.”

One of the single most important lines in all of the MCU. When I saw this my 15 year old brain melted and while at the time I was ignorant to who owned what in regards to film rights my mouth foamed over the idea of all marvel characters existing together in a shared movie universe. It only took ten years and a couple billion dollars but all the marvel are finally gonna share a universe together.

Does it work?

With full retrospective Iron Man is your cut and paste Phase 1 MCU origin movie where the bad guy is basically just a different color pallet than the good guy, which is totally fine. There’s a reason they use that formula, it establishes characters perspective and personality along with their skill set to the audience. It could be because it was the first or just the combination of Favreau and RDJ and all the other cogs in the machine but no movie uses that formula better than Iron Man. I’m in awe of how much fun I had with this movie, I highly recommend going back and watching it again if you haven't recently. It holds up as it’s own movie but with the added benefit that you can clearly see how the whole MCU evolved from the style of Iron Man.

VERDICT

You should already own this, go make some pop corn and watch this./10

#marvel mcu #marvel #iron man #infinty war #mcu #review #movie review #tony stark #robert downy jr #shield #nick fury

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thelimpingalpaca · 5 years

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Iron Man Infinity Stone: None Villains: The Ten Rings, Obadiah “Iron Monger” Stane The Ten Rings cell that had Tony is dead, so is the group that Obie had executed by his guys (something that is never brought up again, are they like Black Water?), Raza is unknown, Obadiah is killed by Pepper.

Back In Black! I’d forgotten it started with the convoy kidnapping A whiskey tumbler in a humvee? Be a little more ostentatious Tony. This is an excellent introduction to his character Oh that phone. So 2008. The pressure wave from that explosion should have liquefied him Las Vegas- 36 hours earlier That’s not the Howard we know Is Rhodey supposed to be younger than Tony? “My great mentor.” Happy is so young. “And what about The Merchant of Death?” Christine Everhart is not fucking around. “Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy.” Howard is just the worst. That mansion really is fantastic. Pepper is fucking brutal and I love her.

His flight should have left at 5:30, it’s past 7 MIT commencement in June- so March-ish Deflect and absorb. That’s Tony in a nutshell Rhodey has been waiting for three hours at what appears to be a Stark Industries private airport Rhodey is salty and it is well deserved. Tony is being a dick. Bagram Air Base- Afghanistan Stark Industries Freedom Line Proprietary repulsor technology Tony’s a little racist with that line about the bad guys not wanting to come out of their caves. Oh that Verizon phone The funvee Tony’s the goddamned luckiest man alive. Having an operation with minimal anesthetic in a non-sterile environment and not getting taken out by a staph infection Ugh not the nose tube Yinsen is a genius Headed into your atrial septum Electromagnet keeping the shrapnel from entering his heart “How did they get my guns?” at least he really believes that his company is good. “Welcome Tony Stark, the most famous mass murderer in the history of America.” They hold his head underwater to get him t build the missile and he hears Pepper call his name “When you’re done he will set you free.” “No he won’t.” “No, he won’t.” Yinsen lectures him about not dying like this. About a last act of defiance. But he thinks he’ll be dead in a week. “Well then, this is a very important week for you.” Yinsen gives him the low down on the Ten Rings Palladium. .15 grams. He needs 1.6 at least. Are you just now learning his name? WTF Tony? 3 gigajoules per second I have always heard this line as it could warm your heart but I think it’s supposed to be run. Which makes more sense. I’m still not sure why the magnet wouldn’t eventually extract the shrapnel on it’s own. But I don’t think I’m supposed to think about it that hard. Yinsen is from Gulmira. He has a family. Tony does not. A man who has everything and nothing. They have until tomorrow. Tony the blacksmith. It’s a good look Is nobody watching the camera feed? He as to memorize how many steps and turns to get out. The timeline is accelerated “I’m gonna go buy you some time.” “Stick to the plan.” And then Yinsen breaks my fucking heart by firing at the ceiling the whole time. He can’t kill these men even to save himself. You should be afraid of the dark. That is how you do a reveal I missed this part in the theater cause I had to pee “This was always the plan, Stark.” “Thank you, for saving me.” “Don’t waste your life.” There are so many parallels to Steve holding a dying Erskine. Tony burns it all and flies away from the explosion like a badass. Almost And then he wanders the desert like Jesus Which I think makes Rhodey God That hug And Pepper’s tears Tony! Go to a doctor Their relationship is just the best He was in captivity for 3 months “Press conference. Cheeseburger first.” Hey Coulson SHIELD wants to debrief Stark “I never got to say goodbye to my father.” Tony has doubts This whole speech is great and his character just keeps circling back to systems with no accountability What is that look on Rhodey’s face? Is it disappointment or sadness? Worry? Tony wants to do better They haven’t had a breakthrough in arc reactor tech in 30 years (so 1980?) “No more of this ready, fire, aim business.” God, Obie’s manipulation hurts Tony why is your PA helping you perform open heart surgery on yourself? This is not acceptable. He’s going into cardiac arrest The way she says “It’s going to be okay. I’m going to make this okay.” While freaking out “I don’t have anyone but you.” Tony, you are lying about not being nostalgic Spring break 1987 Tony wants to bring Rhodey in on Iron Man Rhodey wants him to take time to get his mind right What are those glyphs on his keyboard? Why do you keep the bot if it’s not helpful? Is that possibly nostalgia? The fire extinguisher gag never gets old “I thought you were done making weapons?” “This is a flight stabilizer.” And he goes flying. A+ writing “I didn’t expect that.” Stocks dipped 56.5 points He has controlling interest in the country Day 11, test 37 Does lecturing the bots make you feel better? “Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.” Listen to your AI Tony, you built him to care about you and he would like you to not die. There’s a built in sort of parachute function that stabilizes him while he’s falling and the suit is dead. What happens to that function? I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t have fallen through the roof and the floor but it’s funny And the fire extinguisher Proof that Tony Stark has a heart Seraphim tactical satellite Tony Stark’s 3rd Annual Benefit for Firefighters Rumor is that he’s been bed ridden for weeks Jarvis, I love you Estimated completion time on the new suit is five hours Obie you monster “Give me a scotch, I’m starving.” 24th at 7pm at SI Tony being utterly distracted by Pepper in that dress He is taller than her and it is laughable Coulson is judging you Pepper’s freak out is completely reasonable Tony doesn’t get it And she tries to kiss him and he doesn’t reciprocate “Like, at least 3 olives.” Oh look, the last woman he slept with. He thinks this confrontation is about sex and is reasonably panicked It’s about Gulmira “Well I’m not my company.” Tony had no idea about the double dealing Obie locked him out. Filed the injunction and then claims it’s about protecting him Tony hate watches the news That is shockingly clear news footage The Ten Rings is ISIS When did you have time to build that assembly machine? Also his tactical scuba suit It’s a badass looking scene though Is it snowing or is that ash? 8 dead men “He’s all yours.” Is too libertarian for me. A shot from a tank can’t kill him. At least 5 more dead Edwards Air Force Base, California They can’t figure out what agency the bogie is with Col. Rhodes from Weapons Development Get better at lying maybe? Whiplash One He can go super sonic and has flares for misdirection And he destroys a billion dollar jet with his abs F22 inside a legal no fly zone Rhodey wants plausible deniability The training exercise bit “This is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.” Her horror at the bullet holes That sonic emitter is cool But why leave Raza alive and kill all of his men? Tony needs Pepper to hack “I’m gonna find my weapons and destroy them.” “There is the next mission and nothing else.” Where is this man during the Avengers? “I shouldn’t be alive unless it’s for a reason.” She doesn’t want to watch him die. But she’ll help him do the right thing, cause he’s all she has too And I love that they tell each other that Sector 16 She finds out Obie paid to have Tony killed At least she’s a good liar Obie wears his pants like a racist “Tony never did come home did he?” Why would you have that stuff on the SI server? Coulson’s there so it must be 7 on the 24th And Pepper is smart enough to take the agent with her “Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave with a box of scraps!” And Obie is the worst. When did he become indifferent enough to Tony to do this? What is that thing that extracts the arc reactor? Did he get it from the basement? “Your father, he helped to give us the Atomic bomb. Now what kind of world would it be today if he was as selfish as you?” a better fucking world! We did not need the atomic bomb. Tony’s face “Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would’ve preferred that she lived.” Does he like her or is it just caue killing them both is too messy? Pepper to the rescue And Rhodey just accepts what she’s telling him He looks so miffed that the bot was helpful “Good boy.” Pepper has five agents as back up “Keep the skies clear.” What are all those chains for? The super villain aesthetic? Pepper runs like a boss over grating in four inch heels And Obie climbs out of the ground like a horrible bug “Your services are no longer required.” Obie, please The family in the van is very Spielberg Power 19 percent “For 30 years I’ve been holding you up!” “I built this company from nothing and nothing’s going to sand in my way.” Was he running the company while Howard was off at SHIELD? Cause the company existed in the 40s. So… “Sir, it appears his suit can fly too.” Jarvis, please “I know the math!” Rhodey and the training exercises The icing problem He’s on emergency back up power Pepper needs to overload the reactor and blow the roof “Trying to rid the world of weapons you gave it its best one ever.” Pepper Kills Obie That “Tony!” is the same one from the cave God-titanium alloy SHIELD is covering it up, Rhodey is helping They’re saying Obie is on vacation and his small plane goes down They have a moment and Pepper drags him like she should. “Will that be all Mr. Stark?” “Yes, that will be all Ms. Potts.” “That would be outlandish and… fantastic.” “The truth is… I am Iron Man.” Fade to Black Sabbath Post credits “You think you’re the only superhero in the world. You become part of a bigger universe, you just don’t know it.” Boy has he been waiting for fifteen years to say that “I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”

#Iron Man #IM #notes #marvel rewatch #mcu #tlap

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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25 Hilarious Batman vs. Iron Man Memes

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/25-hilarious-batman-vs-iron-man-memes/

25 Hilarious Batman vs. Iron Man Memes

by Justin O’Hanley

– on May 27, 2018

in Lists

That MCU/DCEU crossover is coming for us all. It seems like an insane idea right now, but flash forward to 2035 where, in the wake of a disastrous box office performance for Rocket Racer 2: The Return of Big Wheel, Marvel is going to have some serious soul searching to do. And an event level Batman v. Iron Man movie is going to wind up looking like the best way to recapture those 2018 glory days. There’ll be logistics and legal mumbo jumbo to work out, but there’ll also be a lot of money to be made, so the studios will find a way.

Batman going toe to toe with Iron Man on the big screen is a long way off, but we have excellent news; you can get a little preview of what that confrontation might look like with this collection of memes. And it’s surprisingly easy to imagine – Batman and Iron Man are in many ways opposite sides of the same coin, they were both born into wealth but it’s easy to imagine how their personalities would clash. Maybe they’d have a playful rivalry, maybe the conflict between them would be more serious, and either way there’s already lot of fanart. Many of these were found on DeviantArt and if you like what you see there’s plenty more where that came from, so be sure to check all of these artists out! With that in mind, here are 25 Hilarious Batman vs. Iron Man Memes.

25 Gadgets

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“Where does he get those wonderful toys?” There were generations of moviegoers who assumed that Alfred was the one designing all the Bat-Gadgets. But 2005’s Batman Begins brought Lucius Fox to the big screen and suddenly the idea of Batman became a lot more logical to audiences. Not that we doubt Batman’s technical expertise – he was able to fix the Batwing autopilot just in time for the climax of The Dark Knight Rises, but there just aren’t enough hours in a day for him to personally manufacture every single batarang. Knowing he has a secret R&D department at work for him makes a lot of sense.

Tony Stark on the other hand is a true Renaissance Man, we all saw what he was able to do in a cave with a box of scraps, after all. Which makes the idea of him cribbing off of Batman’s work in the above fanart even funnier. There’s no need for him to rip off the Batwing design, he seems to be cheating just for the sport of it. Batman, despite being drawn in the style of Frank Miller’s fearsome interpretation of the character in The Dark Knight Returns, appears helpless to do anything about it.

In what will become a recurring theme in many of these memes, Spider-Man is in the background, quietly keeping his head down like a kid whose parents are arguing again.

24 Casting

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Even though there are those of us who recall Robert Hays with a certain fondness, as far as audiences are concerned there’s only been one Iron Man. Iron Man is synonymous with Tony Stark, and Tony Stark is synonymous with Robert Downey Jr. The whole Marvel Cinematic Universe arguably wouldn’t have gotten off the ground if not for that single instance of perfect casting.

So with that in mind, we think Iron Man is being a bit passive aggressive in this piece of fanart. Sure, he’s acting like a supportive friend, trying to keep Batman’s spirits up in the wake of 2013’s controversial casting of Ben Affleck. But what better way to twist the knife than to remind him of all the many miscast Batmen we’ve seen over the years?

George Clooney couldn’t pull it off, but the star of Jersey Girl and Surviving Christmas is going to do just fine, Iron Man seems to be implying.

The drawing is from 2013 and it’s prescient enough to raise the spectre of a Ben Affleck directed Batman movie. There are many who feel Affleck fared well in the role even if they had problems with Batman v. Superman and Justice League, but the idea of him pulling double duty behind the camera is very exciting as well. We’re still pretty bummed it’s not happening.

23 Breakout Year

Technically the superhero movie craze has been happening since the start of the millennium, it just took them a while to get organized. If we may, we direct your attention to 2007’s crop of comic book films; Spider-Man 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and Ghost Rider. Yeah. Hard to imagine, but back in 2008, The Avengers was still just a gleam in Kevin Feige’s eye and based on the Marvel movies that had come out one year earlier, audiences didn’t have much reason to expect Iron Man to be anything special.

X-Men had fans, Spider-Man 1 and 2 had fans, we’re going to meet the guy who liked Hulk any day now, but Batman Begins at that point was the most “respectable” comic book film of the 21st century. We could use it as a means to symbolically take Iron Man down a peg. This meme has been floating around the Internet for several years now and while we can’t trace it all the way back to 2008, it wouldn’t surprise us to discover that some huge Batman fan was taking a shot at Iron Man without knowing what he would lead to. Probably all in good fun, though the image has been re-appropriated as a bit of “Take that” at the MCU.

22 Fears

Each of the three Christopher Nolan movies were built around a central theme and all three gave Batman a villain to fight who was the embodiment of that theme. Bane was the embodiment of despair in The Dark Knight Rises. The Joker was the embodiment of madness in The Dark Knight. And of course, Scarecrow, under the control of the League of Shadows, was the embodiment of fear in Batman Begins. From beginning to end, Batman Begins was an exploration of fear as much as it was an origin story. Bruce used what he was most afraid of to become Batman and the League literally tried to weaponize fear against the general population.

Iron Man 3 didn’t try for as much depth, but it did give us a Tony Stark who was dealing with post traumatic stress disorder after the invasion of New York. The glimpse he had of what was out there beyond our planet continued to resonate into Age of Ultron and Civil War, as he became obsessed with building more powerful weapons in order to ensure that Earth would never again be caught off guard. And given what Thanos was able to do in Infinity War, it seems as though his worst fears have finally come to pass.

The artist’s idea that Iron Man fears portals to an alien world while Batman is scared of fruit bats might be a little flippant, but it rings hilariously true.

21 Crossover Movies

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It did seem as though DC was eager to get its own big superhero crossover off the ground, but they may have jumped the gun. Justice League’s entire worldwide gross was exceeded by the opening week box office of Infinity War. And the thing of it is, it didn’t need to be that way. A few more successful solo films like Wonder Woman and audiences would have flocked to Justice League.

Batman emerged from JL unscathed, as Batman is known to do. But what if he got fed up with the DCEU and tried to join The Avengers?

We love this little piece of fanart, as the child versions of The Avengers are absolutely in keeping with the characters we’ve gotten to know over the course of these many movies. Especially note Hawkeye’s suction cup bow and arrow, Black Widow as the token tomboy who’s a bit apart from all the boys, and Iron Man splayed out as the mischievous alpha male of the club. If he spoke, he’d sound like T.J. from Recess. Their personalities just leap out of the picture, and we would watch that show.

The Kid Avengers are probably right not to let Batman into their treehouse. They’re a less tortured group and how much fun would they really have with Batman around?

20 Plotholes

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The third act of The Avengers set a new benchmark for superhero movie mayhem. Fans returned to the theatre over and over to see Hulk swing Loki around like a rag doll or Iron Man’s full body enema takedown of the Chitauri, or Hawkeye’s… we’re just kidding no one was there for Hawkeye. But the more viewings we went to, the more we had to gently bat away some small gaps in logic. The assault on New York City could have been prevented before it even got started and, in this meme, Bruce is on hand to point out a particularly simple solution. True, Stellan Skarsgård was on the roof with the Tesseract, but if you want to prevent an alien invasion you have to break a few of Stellan Skarsgård’s bones. Eggs, we meant to say.

However, Stark could turn it around and ask Batman why after he rescued Rachel he didn’t just grapple back up to that fundraiser The Joker crashed and nab him. Or why no one in Gotham City puts it together that Batman also disappears any time Bruce Wayne leaves town or becomes a hermit.

We’re not saying turn your brains off, but superhero movies attract a small subset of fans who would rather be pedantic than let themselves get immersed in an experience. If you spot a plothole on your fourth viewing, that doesn’t invalidate the three times you enjoyed the movie before. It just means there’s some skillful storytelling at work that prevented you from seeing it before.

19 Privilege

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The key difference between Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark is that Stark actually was the playboy that Bruce Wayne was pretending to be in The Dark Knight Trilogy. They were both born in positions of extreme privilege and wealth. Both had idealized, sheltered lives growing up, before they were forcibly pushed outside their bubble and got a brutal taste of the world as it actually is. Both dealt with their pain in unhealthy ways.

Bruce was orphaned as a child, while Tony lost his parents when he was a young adult. Bruce appears to have internalized his grief and as an adult was driven to dress up as Batman and go out to fight crime as a means of therapy. Tony submerged his grief and lived a reckless, carefree life until he got kidnapped and saw the impact Stark Industries was really having. So he decided to use his wealth to try and positively impact the world.

Two different billionaires with somewhat similar early lives, both fighting for different, but equally compelling reasons. But at the end of the day, it’s still nice having a lot of money, so it’s nice to see that, according to the image above, they don’t take it for granted.

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18 Vs. Movies

This is the first and last time in this article that we’re going to come to the defense of Zach Snyder’s Batman v. Superman, so here goes – too much was made out of the “Martha” moment. Without having seen the movie, you’d assume Batman and Superman literally decided to become friends after finding out their mother had the same name. But there was a solid enough in-story reason for Superman to bring up Martha (though him saying “My mother…” would have made more sense), hearing it gave Batman pause for a moment, and the two stopped fighting long enough to realize the bigger story.

And if you can tell us what that story was, you’re a few steps ahead of us. Jesse Eisenberg was in there, so something to do with Facebook, maybe. Wait, he was playing Lex Luthor? That can’t be right…

Bruce and Tony didn’t fight head to head, but if you look at these movies as a proxy battle, it’s another victory for Iron Man.

Civil War, released in theatres soon after BvS, fared a lot better critically. It had just as many characters, but the groundwork had been laid a lot more carefully. We knew who almost all of the heroes were and there was a great deal more emotional investment when we saw all of them clash dramatically in the third act. Snyder knows how to bring an interesting aesthetic to his films, but the storytelling in Civil War was a lot more skillful.

17 Shared Competition

There’s something bittersweet about aging icons who start to become eclipsed by a new generation. T’Challa, a.k.a. Black Panther, has been around since 1966. However, MCU-only audiences first met him in 2016’s Captain America: Civil War, then saw him explode onto the landscape in this year’s Black Panther. Batman and Iron Man have years of iconography and that’s hard to beat, but there’s something impressive about seeing the flashy new kid command an audience right out of the gate. Moreover, you can’t really say that Batman or Iron Man have ever appeared in a film that could be classified as a cultural phenomenon in the way that Black Panther was.

As pointed out in the image above, Black Panther’s vibranium suit is suited to both stealth and combat. Plus any team with Letitia Wright’s Shuri on it has an automatic advantage. Wakanda has taken steps towards sharing their technology with the world and Tony is likely to take full advantage of it, but he’s got a learning curve ahead of him. T’Challa has been using vibranium all his life.

Of course, everyone who saw Infinity War knows that Tony Stark has one very distinct advantage over T’Challa right now. But we’ll see where things stand this time next year…

16 Music Video Parodies

Maybe we’ve been trying to generate conflict where conflict doesn’t exist. Who’s to say that Batman and Iron Man would fight? Just because they’re two big personalities, it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be friends. For all we know, they’d get along like Kanye and Jay-Z in “Otis.” This possibility has already occurred to artist Marco d’Alfonso over at DeviantArt, who’s created a shot-for-shot recreation of the Spike Jonze directed music video.

Jay-Z and Kayne West are long time friends and their 2011 collaboration was met with huge critical acclaim. Sadly, some tension exists between them right now, but Jay-Z maintains that there is genuine love between the two men and indeed their friendship, as well as the easy way they play off each other and trade verses back and forth in “Otis,” is evident for the world to see.

Whatever sort of first impression Batman and Iron Man would make on each other, maybe they’d quickly put it aside if they shared some sort of common, Jesse Eisenberg type enemy (we’re still having trouble with that one). We don’t expect them to appear in a music video together, but thanks to Marco’s excellent drawing, we have no trouble imagining it.

15 Shared Cast Members

In the summer of 2008, Iron Man and The Dark Knight were the two seminal films that kicked off our current era of comic book films. If you were a character actor that year you had two goals; keep it on the D.L. if you appeared in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and see if you could book parts in one or both of the year’s biggest superhero movies.

Joshua Harto played a nondescript role called “CAOC Analyst” in Iron Man, but showed up in the far more substantial part of Coleman Reese in The Dark Knight. This guy was deducing Batman’s secret identity when Joseph Gordon Levitt was still in diapers and when he threatened to reveal it on TV, he wound up in The Joker’s crosshairs. If someone doesn’t end Coleman Reese in one hour, I’ll blow up a hospital, promised The Joker.

Coleman Reese was the Ryan Chappelle of the Nolanverse, and his open ending combined with him knowing Bruce’s secret intrigued the fans. We noted his name. Coleman Reese. Mister Reese. Mysteries? Mysteries like riddles? As it turned out, The Dark Knight was the last we saw of the character, and Harto had to settle for reprising CAOC Analyst in Iron Man 3 five years later.

14 Secret Identities

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Tony Stark is kind of a bigger threat to the notion of a superhero than any supervillain ever could be, as he risks giving the whole game away. So many superheroes assume they need to have secret identities in order to protect their loved ones or to avoid getting in trouble with the law because they’re technically being vigilantes. Blah blah blah. Tony Stark just runs around fighting crime and everyone knows who he is. He doesn’t hide in a cave, he lives in a building with his name on it. Come at me, bro.

A hero keeping his identity secret is a nice way to whip up some easy Jiffy Pop character conflict by having him constantly keep secrets from the people he cares about.

Really, how different would Bruce’s life really be if everyone knew he was Batman? He’s outed in the epilogue of 2015’s Arkham Knight and pretty much everyone is like “Keep on being you, Bruce.” Tony Stark blows the lid off of the whole Batman mythos and reveals that Batman is probably just antisocial more than anything. Being put in jail for wanton property damage worries Bruce a lot less than being asked by random strangers to show up for their kid’s birthday party.

13 Senses of Humor

Of all the memes on this list, this might be the one that most gets at the heart of who Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark are. No matter the incarnation, Bruce is a dour guy. He’s got one liners sometimes, but he’s not really intentionally funny ever. Even in the most overtly comedic screen interpretation of Batman, the 1960s Adam West show, Batman himself was never funny. He was comically serious in the face of all the madness around him.

Tony Stark is funny. That’s one reason why he made an impression as a character at a time when Christopher Nolan’s ultra serious Batman was seen as the benchmark for superheroes – he didn’t try to compete in the same playground. He doesn’t take much too seriously, which is most evident in the first Avengers movie. Tony Stark doesn’t have to carry much of the dramatic weight in that movie, he’s just the team smart aleck and the movie is better for it.

That might be why we like this meme, we can imagine this exact exchange happening if the characters met for real. Tony is flippant, Batman injects some earnestness into the conversation, and Tony undercuts him so fast Batman’s head would spin. Or at least turn from side to side, finally.

12 Money Fight

If you come to a Zeppelin concert, you expect to hear “Stairway to Heaven.” If you come to a compilation of Batman vs. Iron Man memes, we’ve got to show you the Money Fight. It’s an oldie but a goodie, as this is a meme we’ve seen around for quite a few years, and it’s still liable to get a laugh for its sheer, unvarnished cruelty.

For all that we’ve been talking about their character flaws, Batman and Iron Man are fundamentally heroic people.

Oftentimes, superhero and supervillain origin stories are impossible to distinguish, and we can certainly imagine Bruce and Tony redirecting their anger towards the world at large and using their resources to really do some harm. But they continue to do good, which makes the idea of them having a money fight fundamentally entertaining – it’s so out of character it’s hilarious.

Spider-Man is of course caught in the middle. Look at the sadness in his eyes. Is he upset that it’s come to this for two of his heroes? Or is he disgusted with what he’s been reduced to? Either way, he’s caught between two flagship superheroes and he has money raining down upon him. Cheer up, Spider-Man. This is the American dream.

11 Looks

There’s always someone better. Bruce and Tony have got money, they’ve got all the technology in the world, and they’re eligible bachelors. But for whatever reason, they’ve committed to hiding their good looks behind a couple of masks. Thor is a beautiful man, he knows it, Natalie Portman knows it, and the rest of the world knows it too.

Thor is also arguably the strongest hero to ever come out of Marvel or DC. In the first Avengers film, he even clocks in the least amount of screentime among all the non-Hawkeye superheroes. He doesn’t make his first appearance until the movie is already forty minutes old and drops out of the action for a while in the middle after the attack on S.H.I.E.L.D. Could it be that his presence is too comforting? We don’t worry as much about Loki or alien invaders with him around.

Not only that, the word Thursday literally means Thor’s Day in Old English. We’re not going to get a Batday or an Ironday any time soon. And Thor 2 wasn’t great, but it was still a lot better than Batman and Robin.

Batman and Iron Man might be a little bit outgunned, in every sense of the word, on this one.

10 Brains

You can name quite a few real life, very high profile examples of people who were born into obscenely wealthy families and still turned out to be very, very dense. And that’s why you have to give it to Tony and Bruce. For all their advantages, for all their money, they’ve earned their place in the world.

No less an authority than we here at Screen Rant have already take a look at the intelligence of these two superheroes. Bruce Wayne is an expert in a wide range of subjects and there’s seriously nothing more satisfying than becoming Batman in Rocksteady’s Arkham trilogy, going into Detective Mode and hearing him say things like “There’s a chemical compound in this residue that can only be found in a single orange grove over in southern Florida” (Paraphrasing). We ranked him the third most intelligent superhero, Iron Man had to make due with seventh place.

However, Tony often calls himself a futurist. He can’t see into every potential alternate reality like Dr. Strange, but he can anticipate and solve problems before they’ve even happened. So he actually probably would have an advantage in a chess game with Batman, but we’d like to see their battle of wits play out in other venues as well.

9 Understudies

Iron Man and Batman are the loftiest ideals for every child fantasizing about being a superhero. They are what you could be if only you had unlimited money and unlimited access to tomorrow’s technology. Spider-Man is something that seems attainable. Who’s to say that science won’t advance far enough to turn you into a superhero? Who’s to say that you won’t become smart enough to figure how to whip up your own batch of web fluid, so long as you stay in school and study hard?

Spider-Man: Homecoming was one of the most creatively successful superhero films in years, not only because it captured the feeling of Spider-Man being an ordinary ground level superhero, but because it placed him in a universe already populated by massive larger than life figures such as Iron Man. Although he had something to aspire to and he wanted to please Tony Stark, his day-to-day concerns were easy to relate to.

If Iron Man has Spider-Man, we suppose Batman has Robin, and even that’s not nearly the same. It sucks that Robin’s parents passed, but at least he’s got resources.

This meme is a bite sized encapsulation of everything we just brought up. Iron Man and Batman have all the toys and money in the world. Spider-Man has to make due, but he’s kicking ass all the same.

8 Overhead Costs

Let’s get into the weeds a little bit. The folks over at MoneySuperMarket.com have broken down the actual cost of being Batman and Iron Man, and if you’ve got superhero ambitions, this infographic is going to bring you crashing down to Earth.

It would take obscene wealth to become Iron Man. You don’t really think about the four jetpacks in his costume and a nuclear power source in his chest until you see a breakdown this clean. The $110 million dollar cost of a single suit is over half the budget of Iron Man 3 in its entirety, and that movie is essentially just a story about Tony Stark trying and failing to get into a long series of Iron Man suits. It’s one to have one suit, but what about all those duplicates?

On the other hand, in direct comparison, becoming Batman seems like a perfectly attainable goal. Especially if you make your own cape and decide that maybe you can live without the Custom Graphite Cowl. But then, almost as an aside, we find out that Batman’s vehicles (which we assume encompasses the Tumbler, the Batwing, and the Batboat) together cost $80 million dollars. Maybe you could leave those out, but what would a Batman story be without any bat-vehicles?

It’d be 2011’s Game of the Year Arkham City. Point taken. Keep that dream alive!

7 Predecessors

It’s fun to go back to your childhood and discover strange parallels between old and new fandoms. Darkwing Duck never particularly came across as a parody of Batman specifically, but he lived in a kind of mock heroic version of the same playground the Caped Crusader was occupying at the time.

Something that never occurred to us is whether Darkwing Duck’s frenemy Gizmoduck was a send-up of Iron Man? The similarity must have occurred to the writers and the animators at some point, but Iron Man wasn’t quite the commodity that Batman was in the early 90s. We’d already had the two Tim Burton films, and Batman: TAS was redefining what we thought a superhero cartoon could be. Iron Man and Gizmoduck may just be a coincidence.

Iron Man comes out on top surprisingly often in the memes we’ve gathered up, but seeing echoes of Batman in an early 90s show like Darkwing Duck does remind us that he may be winning the war. He’s been in the public consciousness for a very long time and you can’t take that away from him.

But here’s the real takeaway from this meme, the 90s was a fantastic time for animated superhero shows. Batman: The Animated Series was great. Darkwing Duck was great. Spider-Man: The Animated Series was… another show that we watched.

6 Grammar

For the grammar obsessives among us, keeping track of superhero names is a nightmare. Batman is already a word, so that one’s easy. Iron Man is very clearly enunciated. But why did they put a hyphen in Spider-Man? Who has the time to remember hyphens?!

This is something that has not escaped the attention of an artist with the nom de plume of CuttingRoom over at DeviantArt. As he puts it:

“I’m not sure why different heroes do it differently. Is Batman more bat than Spider-Man is spider? By making Iron Man two words, is Tony Stark trying to put distance between his machine and his humanity? Who knows? I do know that I love super heroes, and I love grammar. So that’s something.“

CuttingRoom has managed to channel this madness in a healthy direction, and has given the world this wonderful piece of fanart. This is technically a Spider-Man vs. Batman meme, but even though Iron Man is supposedly the impartial referee here, you can tell that Tony is itching to wade into those grammar wars. These three heroes had better be careful, if their fight gets too violent they might wind up in the hospital with all sorts of broken participles and dangling modifiers.

5 Reputations

This meme is elegant in its simplicity. It’s a perfect little illustration of the legend that has built up around Batman. An invincible green monster is roaring in your face, but Batman just has to point out he’s Batman and that’s all you need to hear to realize the playing field is equal. To say anything more about it would ruin it.

So we’ll go on a quick tangent. There weren’t any memes out there that directly compared Batman Begins and Iron Man 3, so we’ll shoehorn in this question before moving onto the next one; why was the Ra’s Al Ghul twist received so positively and the Mandarin twist so hated? It wasn’t all that different to have Ken Watanabe positioned as Ra’s, only for him to disappear from the story early on and have Liam Neeson reveal himself as the true villain. Arguably, Ben Kingsley’s performance as the unmasked Trevor Slattery is so hilarious it makes up for the feeling of “Wait, really?” and Guy Pearce winds up providing a formidable threat. Conceptually both twists are pretty much the same, was it all just in the execution? Or is the Ra’s/Ducard twist not aging well for fans either these days?

Let us know in the comments.

4 Expertise

Here’s an open secret no one wants to talk about: Batman is boring. Or rather, Batman by all rights ought to be boring. You’re not supposed to write a story about someone who has impossible mastery of everything. When you set aside his backstory, Batman is kind of a wish fulfillment character in the same way as James Bond, someone who always has the exact right gadget or skill set or tidbit of knowledge to allow him to survive a situation with ease. A scene in which Batman gets knocked over by a gunshot only to rise up with his wings spread wide is practically guaranteed once per movie. The Batman series is at its most compelling when it either leans into the fantasy, like in the Arkham games, or when the stakes revolve around the future of Gotham City more than Batman himself, like in the Nolan movies.

Batman listing off what he’s good at is impressive, but Tony may have secretly already won this particular war.

Iron Man certainly has a particular set of skills and his suit can take an awful lot of punishment, and when he’s costumed we rarely fear for his life. So you’ll notice that Robert Downey Jr. puts in a lot more face time in the movies than the Iron Man mask. This lets Tony’s charisma shine through and, frankly, makes him more of a dynamic character than Batman often is.

3 Children

The best thing about this strip is the tiny “Hn” that is Batman’s only line in the whole thing. It’s a testament to how much Batman has penetrated our popular culture that we all know exactly what that “Hn” sounds like.

The idea of either Batman or Iron Man with a child is very alarming to us. In a previous list, we mentioned that Bruce does indeed have children that he’s raising to fight crime, a pretty horrifying thought that has never been explored on the big screen. You would hope having another human to care for may let Batman begin to heal as he finds someone to fill the void left by his parents, but anyone with hobbies like that has a few problems to work out.

We cannot find any evidence that Tony has a kid outside of an alternate universe or a dream sequence. So this cute (at first) comic strip shows us what might happen if Tony Stark as he currently is took in a child. Look at how adorable Iron Kid is. It only makes the dark ending even funnier. The artist has a few other pieces of fanart that cast Batman as sort of the exasperated straight man putting up with Stark’s antics. We only went with the one image but check out the rest of B-Smitty’s work right here.

2 Real Life Children

Ooh, we were having fun up until now, but this one gets Real. Movies are movies, but this picture is liable to make a grown man weep.

It’s the most common late night talk show anecdote in the world, beloved celebrity fathers whose kids are less impressed by them than the rest of the population. Judd Apatow’s daughter doesn’t think he’s funny, Bruce Springsteen’s kids had other musical heroes, and even Barack Obama’s daughters never particularly looked like they were awed that their father was President. Robert Downey Jr. can hold his head up high, he’s the latest in a proud tradition.

All kidding aside, there’s no reason to assume that his son isn’t also a fan of Iron Man. That kind of binary, “You love Marvel or you love DC” attitude only really comes from a particularly vocal, particularly intense section of the Internet. But Robert’s son walking around in with a Batman shirt and a Batman belt buckle was sure to kick up a bit of a hornet’s nest and Robert Downey Jr. looks as though he knows it too.

And we see evidence of a trend among Marvel fathers, take a look at Chris Pratt and his Captain America loving son. That’s just adorable.

1 Actors

Life was pretty good for Christian Bale at the 2011 Academy Awards. That legendary video of him shouting on the set of Terminator 4 was a distant memory, he’d played Batman twice and was getting ready for a third, he’d just won a Best Supporting Actor Award for The Fighter. And Iron Man was there to see it.

Bale and Downey Jr. were photographed chatting together outside the theatre and all seemed perfectly cordial between them. Why wouldn’t it be?

But that didn’t stop us from having a bit of fun contrasting their pleasant interaction with fan art of their characters facing off.

Nowadays, the picture drives home something poignant; we may very well see Batman and Iron Man together on the screen someday, but it won’t be with the two actors who arguably played the biggest role in legitimizing and popularizing the comic book film genre. Bale has long stepped away from Batman and although we can only guess at Downey Jr’s future after 2019’s Avengers 4, there is a certain appeal in the idea of seeing him go at the height of his popularity. If nothing else, it’d give him more time to take on some more daring or comedic roles like Tropic Thunder.

Let’s keep a candle lit in our collective souls for Marvel and D.C. Presents: Batman vs. Iron Man. But if it never happens, these two characters individually have already given us so much.

—

Who do you think would win in a fight? Batman or Iron Man? Let us know in the comments!

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