MY INSTAGRAM FEEDING ME WELL WHAT?!!!? LOOK AT HIM!!!
i may have a boyfriendโฆ but dear god ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ
THE TONGUE?? THE HAIR?? THE GRIN ??? ON THE FLOOR JAW DROPPED HOUSTON IM DECEASED
youโve blessed me thank you ๐๐ผ
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man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.
I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"
it's just... lonely and sucks bad.
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I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.
Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.
The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letterโ emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"
I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too
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๐๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ค๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด/๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต :((.
๐๐ต ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ! ๐๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐บ ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ฎ๐ด ๐ด๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ญ๐ฆ, ๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ.
"๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐บ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข." ๐๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ญ๐ถ๐ด๐ฉ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ. "๐-๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ..." ๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด, "๐๐ฐ ๐ค๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข."
๐๐ฆ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ! ๐๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ป๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ด, ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ :((.
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ! ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต'๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ด ๐ด๐ข๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ช๐ต!
"๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ข' ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข?"
"๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข."
"๐๐ช๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ด๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข."
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ณ๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ! ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ด๐ญ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ป๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ!
"๐๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ช๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข."
"๐๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ช๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข."
"๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข."
๐ฆ๐ถ๐บ๐ผ๐ป'๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐/๐ผ ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ ๐บ๐ฎ๐บ๐ฎ! <๐ฏ๐ฏ
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i'll be honest the "man vs bear" thing is so fucking funny like the only way you've never ran into a man in a forest is if you've never been in a forest. when i'm in a forest and i run into a man (happened so far every time i've been hiking in a forest) what happens is i say "good morning" and he says "good morning" and then we continue on our way. on the other hand if i ran into a bear in the forest i would shit myself.
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Coworker pronounced gigabyte as "jigabyte" today and I've never seen a room full of engineers so immediately ready to fight
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