#The idiocy is contagious. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

websterss · 8 months

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𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟏/? — 𝐖𝐄𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐓

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓: Omg maybe the plot of better than the movies but reversed? like it’s Wes trying to get with Liz so he asks Reader for help.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒): angst, fluff

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2,541

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Wes Bennett x fem!reader

𝐀/𝐍: I hope you enjoy it! @raggedyoldwitch here it is, love you lmfao!

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

You expected a lot of forecomings in life. Many a few involved getting selected as the head of the prom committee. Being at the top of your classes. Even managing the yearbook committee too. A busy life to you meant a happy life, it distracted you from your tragic reality, and it also saved you from getting through school without a social life. You expected it. You did. You saw it coming. You just wish what you could have seen coming was Wes Bennett soaking wet from head to toe outside your door in the middle of the afternoon. You had to blink a few times because this felt too good to be true.

“Y-Y/n, you’re looking well.” He threw up three fingers in greetings. That boyish grin you always had a hard time looking away from was plastered all over his stupid face. You looked down and cleared your throat before answering and said.

“Bennett. To what do I owe this–“ You gestured to him in general, trying to play along but your wall broke down immediately in displeasure, so you cut it short. “What do you want?” You quirked a brow at him. Still keeping him cold and drenched on your front porch. You felt your heart flutter hearing him chuckle.

“To the point I see. Remember that time I helped you walk back home after you fell off your bike and scraped your knee and you said if I ever needed anything to just ask?”

“Wesley we were nine…” You stare at him dumbfounded.

“So you do remember! By any chance…does your offer still apply to this day? I mean I helped you after all!” He defended.

“You pushed me off my bike and took off on it to chase after Liz.”

“Then I came back for you…” He said.

“After I wouldn’t stop crying!” Your eyes grew wide. “You bribed me with five bucks just so I wouldn’t blab to your mom.”

“And look at you! Y-You’re all better now. Beautiful and all grown up.” Oh, how you would have loved to have been called beautiful any other time, but not when he was just trying to be cute. You continued to watch as the rain pelted over his curls. It was a nice scenery.

“I have the scar to prove it.” You scoff.

“Which only shows just how strong you are. You survived! Can I come in?” He nodded past your shoulder dispersing the dispute and changing the subject. “I’m taking a shower out here.”

“Wha- No!“ Your mouth is left agape.

“Come on. You owe me!”

“I do not-”

“Wesley?” Your aunt cut you off as she approached you. “Oh my god Wesley. Oh my look at you all grown up. How are you?” She greeted him with a smile.

“Wet.” He squinted at you with a smirk. He fights a chuckle as you roll your eyes at him. He curled in on himself. The cold was starting to get to him.

“Don’t let him in, you'll catch his idiocy.” You warned, slamming your hand out to block the doorway. “Hear it’s contagious…” You shrug.

“Y/n let him in!” Meg shoved you aside. You stumble off balance catching yourself on the table beside the door and glaring at her. “S-Sorry.” She grimaces then turns back to the giant who walked through your threshold. The sloshing from his shoes makes him look down. He meets your annoyed gaze and grimaces. He takes off his shoes and starts looking around.

His eyes caught on to the mantle of pictures. He walks over to the middle of the living room. He inspects the frames that hold memories of your late parents. Some of you as a child and some with your aunt. He smiles at them, tapping a light finger to the glass, and backs up. His eyes now find the piano sitting in the corner. He slowly walks over to it

“So this is casa Y/L/N huh? It’s nice!” You watch as droplets of water continue to drip down onto the floor. You roll your eyes knowing Meg would make you mop it up later and throw a towel at him. It startles him but he catches it in time. “T-Thanks.” He laughs, and goes to rub the cloth against his head, then wraps it around his shoulders. “Nice piano by the way. You play?”

“No.” You walk away and up the stairs. Wes watches for a few seconds then tails it after you. Your soft climb was overcome by the loud thumps of the giant trying to catch up to you. You walk over to your room and plop down at your desk where you resume doing some homework. Wes stops at the doorway eyes taking in the fairy lights, the vinyls hung up on your wall under a record player, and various polaroids taped to different walls. The hues of green and yellows and whites combined satisfied his brain. It felt cozy, especially after seeing the fuzzy blanket at the edge of your bed.

“I’ve never been in a girl's room before. Not bad...” He walked over to your tall bookshelf. Poking and prodding anything that caught his attention. He uprighted a face-down frame on your top shelf. He brought it down to his view and looked it over. It was you and your parents. Your hands pulled down on a yellow beanie over your eyes, he swore he remembered you wearing it when you were kids but he wasn’t sure. Your smile was affectionate, it made his lips curl up. Your parents had each pressed a kiss to your cheeks. It was a cute picture of you, but it did make him want to ask why you faced it down. Was the memory of them hard to bear, hard to look at? He sighed and put it back. He was about to go for a collectible item when your voice scared him.

"I wouldn’t.” You hadn’t even turned around to see what he was doing.

“It’s cool.” He argued.

“And one of a kind.” That was all you said.

Wes stuck his tongue at you. Then reached for it again. He was caught off guard by a stuffed bear that collided with the back of his neck. He laughed and moved on to something else. That being your pictures.

“Quite the photographer I see...” He reached up to touch the string of lights and walked over to the headboard, most of your pictures lay above your bed.

“I like capturing moments.” You scribbled something down and read off your textbook.

“You don’t say...” He smirked turning his head to view each four walls covered top to bottom. Your room was practically a gallery. No space was left untouched by a picture. Except by your door of course. He looked back to your hunched-over frame. Wrapped up in your schoolwork made him smile. Anytime he’d see you around you were constantly doing something. He actually wondered whether you ever took a break. He smiled as his eyes roamed over you. You grew up beautiful, he wasn’t lying when he first saw you open the door. He cracked his knuckles as he worked up the courage to ask you for that favor. That was why he was here after all. To ask for your help. “Hey, Y/n...”

“What is it, Wesley?” The edge in your voice told him not to keep you too long.

“You know Liz right?” Wes panics as he sees your back straighten up. Your eyes meet his as you turn around in your chair. Scaringly slow. He tenses up.

“Liz Buxbaum? Our neighbor Liz, who we’ve known since childhood.” You laugh at his question. Wes rolls his eyes.

God, am I going to regret this?

“Do I know Liz? The girl you’ve had a massive thing for since the second grade. The one you spend your time bothering and annoying. That Liz? Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“You’re horrible a person.”

“I know it keeps me awake at night.” You swivel in your chair. The giggle you release makes his heart skip. A feeling he didn’t know he could have for you.

“You know what forget I asked-”

“No, wait- I’m sorry! Why are you asking me if I know Liz weirdo?” You let go of his arm you grabbed onto.

“I need your help.” Wes breaks down his barrier. He almost looked nervous.

“Wesley Bennett needs my help. That’s a first!” You lean back amazed.

“Y/n!” He whines. Literally.

“Okay, fine what is it?”

“I have a proposition for you.” Wes rubbed his hands together which caused you to pull a face.

“I’m a woman with self-respect, Bennett…” You feign offense by placing your hand on your chest.

“Favor then, god! What do you take me for Y/L/N?” He scoffed.

“You really want to know?”

“No, now shut up and listen.” You rolled your eyes and leaned back in your chair. You were curious, to say the least. Whatever favor he needed sounded serious, but then again when was Wes really serious? The only time you’ve ever really seen him be serious was when he was around Liz– Oh. You were starting to guess what the next words that would spill past his lips were going to be. Wes never usually conjured up a conversation with you. This was all new territory you were treading and fast. But if you were being honest, when would a chance like this ever happen again? So you’d take anything that he’d throw at you.

“You’re a girl right?”

Except that. What?

“What?”

“Shit that came out wrong, obviously you are, but that’s not what I came here to ask. Say. Look–”

“Is there a point to this?” Wes could see your eyes beginning to screw together, you were getting upset.

“I need your help with getting with Liz.”

Oh yeah, you were definitely screwed now. Anything but that, you pleaded. You could feel the thousands of arrows hitting you square in the heart right about now.

“Huh?”

“I need your help to get with Liz.” He repeated.

“Heard you the first time bud, Just don’t understand how I fit into this equation?” You gestured between the both of you.

“She thinks I’m this colossal asshole.”

“You torment the poor girl, Wesley. What’d you expect?” You exasperate in shock. “She embraces you with open arms and kisses?” You spin back around and face your notebooks.

He gets up and leans over your desk. “How do I change her perception of me? I’ve tried. Trust me I have, we just bicker back and forth. We’re literally a reality of her make-believe romance tropes.”

You peer up at him, giving him a once over then ponder what trope. “Oh no, you’re a living breathing enemies-to-lovers trope. May your chances with Flower Princess die!” You give him the sweetest grin you can muster. Wes looks just about ready to smack you. It was a funny sight, his stupid face all annoyed.

“You need to help me.”

“Why should I?” You look at him incredulously.

“The bike thing…” He tried cramming that back into the conversation again. You weren’t having his bullshit.

“You pushed me off it!” You exclaim. The audacity of this man.

“I was sorry!” He leans down and exclaims just as loud as you did in your face.

“No. I don’t owe you shit, Wesley Bennett. You made your bed, now lie in it. You want Liz to like you, be nice to her!” You slammed your books closed and stood up, closer and in his face more.

“Y/n please…”

“What help would I even be?” You shrug.

“Liz has always floated towards you since we were kids. You’ve indulged her state of thinking, that movie cliches could be connected to real life. You know her.”

“So do you.” You smirk. “But you understand her Wes. You’re trying to convince me that I have this sort of in with Liz, that I can connect to her in this special way, but it’s not even like that.” You shake your head.

“Please.” He sighs.

“No. We’re not even friends Wes, What makes you think I’d give you the time of day?” You take your books and walk over to your bed, wanting to be sprawled out as you try to finish what was left of your homework.

“I really haven’t been good to you huh?” Wes straightens up and walks over to your bed, he kneels down to be eye level from where you lay. Your eyes soften as he looks up at you. “How about another proposition then?”

“What now?” You groan.

“If you help me with Liz, then I promise to be a friend to you.”

“You could be a good friend without any terms involved.” You suggest with a pout.

“This is all I ask of you. Nothing more, nothing less. Please.” He begged softly.

“Fine-”

“Oh my god really?”

“-On one condition.” He was not expecting you to lay down your own terms, but if it got you to help him then so be it, he thought.

“What’s that? He blinked up at you.

“You have to promise...that we'll remain good friends after all this.” You say earnestly. You were a little disappointed when he brushed it off so easily. You figured he was only attentive to details when Liz was involved in the equation. Sadly, not for you…In this moment you were thankful he did not notice a change in your demeanor.

“Can't promise what I've already set in my heart." He smirked. "Once we get Liz to fall in love with me, I'll be the best friend you never had.” He nudges you playfully on the shoulder.

“Ouch.” You feign offense. He chuckles.

“I owe you, Y/L/N. Seriously.” Wes looks down at his intertwined hands. His sincerity was too much for your beating heart. You needed him gone before you'd jeopardize his plan. Your friendship. You sharply inhale as you look away from his eyes.

“Can you get the fuck out now, some of us actually take school seriously, okay?” You laugh as you push him back. He stumbles onto his ass, then springs up. His taller form towering over you now.

“Thank you!” He grins boyishly. Rocking back and forth as he backs out of your room. He starts overdoing it with the blow kisses. You swat the air as if to fan them away. This makes him laugh, and then he makes his leave.

“Yeah, whatever…”

“See you at school, Y/L/N.”

Oh, you were most definitely, positively screwed. You fall back onto your pillows, grab your squishy, and slam the frog into your face. Nothing but muffled groans of annoyance could be heard, as your aunt Meg paused in your doorway. Mortified.

“You okay?”

“Boys are stupid!” You screech into your squishy. “Why do they exist, Meg? I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them…”

“I’ll make us some cocoa.” She gestured over her shoulder, even though you couldn’t see her do so. She nodded and with that, you were all alone once again in the grave you just dug for yourself.

#wes bennett #wes bennett imagines #wes bennett imagine #wes bennett x reader #wes bennett x fem!reader #better than the movies #bttm imagines #bttm x reader #wes bennett oneshots #better than the movies imagine #my gif #writings by juls

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vagabond-umlaut · 11 months

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tick tock tick!

one's a fool, the other's a fool.

once a fool, always a fool.

you never imagined being thrown over the known limits of time and space, then back again, is what will make you grasp these two simple little facts — you don't appear to be very ruffled, though.

▸ gojo satoru x fem!reader; 2.8k wc; time travel; light-hearted banter and fluff; sassy-yet-concerned-bestie!student-shoko; living-in-denial!student-reader; pining-in-the-background!student-satoru; the grown-up reader's enjoying her time in the past but she really wants to return to her time; suggestive themes in the very end [it's implied & between grown-up reader and grown-up satoru back in the present]

▸ belongs to series we're the summer to our winter rain but you can read this as a stand-alone if you wanna!

▸ the element of time travel's been borrowed from the amazing oneshot 'time travel' by @seeingivy. tysm rc!!!! i love your works!!!! ❤️❤️

▸ the gif, divider and characters used ain't mine. please don't plagiarize, translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

idiocy – same as common cold; worse than common cold – is contagious.

weird take, isn’t it, for a person such as you on a day such as today?

gray skies. strong winds. light drizzles.

perfect day, really – a much desired reprieve from the sweltering tokyo summers, you muse – one you would have been content in whiling away wrapped in your blanket with a novel and a savoury snack. or perhaps, you would have gone on a drive through the damp streets of the city. or, better yet, you would have taken a nice long nap in the comfort of your home–

–the keywords in each being ‘would have’.

’cause you do not do either of these – rather, you cannot.

in a peach classroom you know was painted yellow last autumn, before a phone you recollect being broken in a mission last decade, looking at a face with a hairstyle you haven’t seen the likes of since five years ago – any and every plan you might’ve had go straight out your mind into the courtyard outside.

cigarette dangling from fingers, shoko blinks back at you. you offer a tentative smile.

“hey, shoko! long time, no see, eh?”

the girl lets out a long exhale of smoke and asks, “is this real or am i finally hallucinating from sleep deprivation?”

“the former, i’m afraid,” you say softly, then frown. “wait a sec–”

“won’t wait,” cutting you off, she huffs a faint chuckle. you give an unimpressed look at her nonchalant attitude, only to see it bounce right off her. not that you’re very surprised, you suppose. “i’ve had enough mothering from the present-you; any more treating me as a kid and i swear i’m going berserk.”

your lips dip into a faux-pout.

“aw, that would be a pity. the only healer we have, lost to the darkness. the society would be in shambles.”

that earns another chuckle from shoko and she reclines in her seat, eyes watching your features closely. unnerving, yes; yet you let her. it isn’t every day one meets the adult version of their kouhai, after all. [that and the fact you’ve always been rather fond of this friend of yours – both in your teens and twenties – something you reckon is too known to be voiced always.]

one whole minute elapses before the silent examination ends. you heave an inward sigh of relief, which grows into fatigue at the next question. a mere monosyllable but enough to make you want to hit your head against the window.

“how?”

you wonder what answer must you give to your former senpai.

should you say it was a mishap on a mission which led you here?

nah, too unlikely to occur for someone as warily careful as you.

from an encounter with a cursed item you knew nothing of?

the truth, of course, but with a pinch of salt here and a pinch of pepper there.

you settle on serving shoko the blandest form of the truth ever.

placing a dilapidated pocket sundial on the desk, you reply, “i came across this in the storeroom today while deep cleaning the house. now, i knew; this was soaked in cursed energy; besides, it looked too simple to be a weak cursed object. but–”

“your curiosity overpowered your common sense, and you fussed with it and ended up here,” the girl finishes for you. a lame nod paired with an embarrassed smile is the only response you manage. she shoots an unimpressed face back. “you’ve always been the smart one... since when did you become an idiot?”

“years of being with an idiot–”

“ieiri-senpai – what the fuck!? who the hell are you??”

the familiar screech, you never knew was so raucous until now [suguru was right], snaps your explanation in two and you cast a sideways glance to see the exact image you were expecting.

messy hair, black sunglasses [not yours], floral print dress and sneakers – accompanied by a gobsmacked expression and two wide eyes peeking from behind the shades – the younger you stays rooted to her spot in the doorway. you wave at her weakly. “kind of shocking, right?”

“i’m not dreaming, am i?” the target of your question breathes out. you shake your head. “no. i’m real and i’m here.”

the statement drains bits of incredulity from her form and you watch her slowly enter the class and take the seat next to yours. a frown makes its way onto her lips.

“how? and, more importantly, why?”

a short chuckle leaves you.

this is the age when you were the most into the genre of science fiction of everything... the poor student you must be thinking you’re here to warn her of an event in the future or something of the sorts. you debate for a while on if you should play with her concerns or not – then decide against it. she looks too innocent to be teased so cruelly; besides, you never had the slightest of masochistic tendencies.

you smile at her, reassuringly. “how... i grew too curious for my good and ended up fiddling with something i should’ve handled more carefully – hey, don’t touch it,” you slap her hand away from the sundial; she gives you a sheepish grin. you resume with a huff, “and as to why... i’ve no clue. i really wanna go back home and start cleaning again.”

your younger version wrinkles her nose. “ew, why’re you cleaning? just hire some help to do all that work, dummy.”

you resist the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. you really did hate doing household chores, hm?

“i do have help hired, but sometimes, you really wanna care for your home on your own, y’know? besides...” a tinge of loving exasperation sneaks into your voice. “there are only so many who have the patience to search for candy wrappers in every nook and corner of the– oh, shit. i mustn’t spoil the future for y’all.”

a cheshire cat grin and a confused little frown meet the tense smile you aim at your two companions. shoko drawls, “candy wrappers, huh? how’s living with satoru treating you? must be nice, living with the love of your life.”

“you’ll be the best one to know, senpai, what with barely staying in your rooms whenever iori-senpai's here,” the other girl cuts in with a sharp smile, which becomes soothing when she turns to you. “don’t you let those words get to you; these people are living in a fantasy world of their own, thinking every kind of godforsaken nonsense.” then tapers off, chuckling, when you watch her catch your knowing grin. “ah, sorry. i forgot you’re my future self; you’ll obviously know this.”

“i do,” saying so, you look at shoko. “’toru and i can be roommates too, you know?”

the girl makes no attempt to conceal the eye-roll, nor the scoff. “yeah, but are you? the two of you are literally in love with each other.”

“senpai...” the younger you whines, visibly affronted and annoyed, only to be interrupted by an obnoxious music before she can barely begin her rant. the older girl silently asks you to watch her kouhai – a request you fulfil with an amusement, the latter growing increasingly difficult to stow away with every moment you observe your glowing younger self.

yes, that’s right.

glowing.

from when she accepts the call and places the phone next to her ear, to when she hollers out a cheery “rise and shine, ’toru! you’re late!”, to when she exchanges animated dialogues, giggling, with the boy at the other end, to when she cuts the call and returns her focus to shoko and you, a wide grin blooming on her lips even while she apologizes for having to cut the meeting short — glowing is the only adjective, you think, will suit the teenaged-you.

you brush her apology away with a grin of your own. “it’s okay, go enjoy your day-off with your ’toru. a few more years and you’ll find such relaxing days hard to come by.”

“oh?” the girl pauses, grin melting away in disappointment – however, before you can even attempt to rectify or explain your statement, hauling her by the arm, shoko drags her away.

“off you go, lover girl,” she scowls, shoving her out into the hallways, “you’ve a date waiting; you ought to know better than to mope now.”

“this isn’t a date! and i ain’t moping!” comes the incredulous exclamation within an instant, soon followed by the reappearance of the younger you in the doorway, showing something between an exuberant beam and a worried frown as she inquires, “you wouldn’t call this a date, would you?”

a feeling, strangely similar to sympathy, creeps into your heart.

you hum, “you are going to the new chinese restaurant in roppongi, aren’t you?”

a nod.

shoko raises an eyebrow behind her, as if meaning to query you still remembering details from so long ago. the corner of your mouth lifts. “it’s the dress, ieiri. i seldom wore it so obviously i’ll remember when i did,” you explain, then return your focus to the other girl. she returns your gaze, anticipation brimming in hers. you shake your head.

“i wouldn’t call today’s meeting a date.”

“told ya, senpai!” the teenaged-you exclaims, and with that and a salute in your direction, jogs down the corridor, a listless tune resonating within its ancient walls as she goes humming. shoko shoots a particularly scheming look your way. “you said you wouldn’t call today’s meeting a date, so are there other meetings...”

a casual shrug is what you decide to counter her implications with. “maybe. maybe not. i’m not supposed to tell you.”

“perhaps, you aren’t,” the girl responds, an odd softness developing in her tone. you bite back whatever words you were planning on telling – a soft yet serious shoko is a blue moon, one you know well enough to not take not-seriously.

ignoring the sharp spike in cursed energy from the sundial, you train your senses on the young doctor-to-be standing before you and her solemn countenance as she regards you.

she offers a careful smile.

“perhaps, i too am not supposed to tell you this, but satoru cares for you. very much. and i know you too do. as much as him. but the two of you are simply shit at expressing it. your oblivious ass, more than that lovesick fool.” a chuckle escapes you at this statement – more at its exasperated tone than its words. smile growing freer, she continues, “it isn’t really funny, i’m telling you. it’s more painfully tiring than anything else for us, watching the two of you play this game since forever – something i’ve said to that blindfolded bastard more times than i can count and something i’ve implied to you repeatedly as well. but every word i might’ve said has bounced right off gojo’s thick skin and off your thick skull. however, now–”

the girl stills and you glance to your side to find the object shining. the clock seems to have begun ticking, huh? you choose to finish your friend’s unfinished sentence.

“however, now, seeing the older and more matured me, you decided to try one last time, didn’t you? thinking this might as well be the last chance to pop my bubble of ignorance and free ’toru from the pain of pining, yeah?”

shoko nods slowly.

plucking the sundial from the desk, you give her a smile – one, you hope, shows the true depth of gratitude you feel towards her. watching the way she returns your expression, you think it does. “satoru and i always count you to be one of our dearest friends,” you say, “thank you for always looking out for us, shoko. and as for our alleged feelings for one another...”

you toss her a wink.

“you never lose a bet you place on us.”

shoko’s jaw dropping to the floor is the last thing you see before the classroom melts into a swirl of colours, into the final beige wallpaper of the storeroom. the sundial sits innocently in the hollow of your palm – a funny little antique you feel less sorry now for coming across now. returning it to the open box lying on the floor beside you, you stuff the box back into the cabinet and rise, brushing dust off your trousers.

your flat desperately needs a deep-clean – and you’ve got to finish it in the shortest time possible.

’cause there’s an intriguing story, after all, waiting to be narrated by you to your ‘roommate’ once the latter’s back from work.

bonus:

a shocked gasp rings within the steam-filled confines of your bathroom. you giggle.

“don’t act so offended, ’toru! i had to say something to avoid awkward questions.”

“how can you be so okay with it, sweets?” the 6' 3" man whines, wrapping his soap-lathered arms round your midsection and dropping his head to rest it against yours. you lean back into him, eyes closing in comfort whilst you listen to him complain, “first of all, you didn’t wear your ring–”

“i thought we were over it, ’toru. i didn’t want the ring to get dirty or lost while cleaning.”

a tiny tsk sounds while your left hand is raised and a small kiss is planted on the gold. your heart goes swooning.

satoru’s grumbles continue, undeterred, “next, you blame poor innocent me for your error – even going as far as to refer to me as an idiot – that’s still okay, i guess. i’m willing to forgive. but to call me your roommate – that’s simply unforgivable, darling.”

you let out a tiny hum. eyes opening, you turn to kiss the downturned corner of his lips. it lifts a bit. “i know, baby. i know,” you attempt to appease him, “i shouldn’t have called you my roommate when you’re someone so much more than that.”

blue eyes peering down at you reflect the emotions coursing within yourself now.

“and what might that be?” he asks in a low whisper.

brushing the wet strands of hair away from his face, you whisper back, “my ex- fiancé. you’re my darling ex- fiancé. i should have called you that in front of them, right?”

your eyes blink a mere two times before a set of sharp teeth digs into your neck, pulling a shocked yelp from you, soon followed by the impression of a smug smirk onto your skin. the bath suddenly feels awfully warm – a sensation which intensifies with every little lick and bite pressed down the side of your throat and into your bare shoulder – before satoru lifts his head and a warm puff of breath hits the shell of your ear.

“that isn’t something you must call me, wife. you’ve made me very, very upset.”

“and what might i do to make up for it?” you inquire, though the words tumble out your mouth rather shakily – thanks to the shivers your husband’s wandering hands elicit, rough with callouses yet so gentle with the manner caress you.

“what might you?” gently swivelling your head with a light grasp on your chin, he brushes a thumb along your lower lip – gaze dark and ravenous, you note absently, as it darts over your face. your eyes flutter close at the feeling. “you can let me have a taste of my favourite snack, perhaps, you–”

“you don’t mean the kikufuku mochi, do you?” moving your face away, you ask, annoyed and worried — does satoru not know how much distressing his addiction to sweets is to you?

hold on you slackening slightly, your husband blinks at you.

you glower back. “you can be mad at me for an eternity if you want, satoru. but you aren’t getting another morsel of a sweet dish. you’ve already eat–”

“what makes you think i was talking of mochis, sweet cheeks?” the stumped question interrupts your rant. you let out an angry exhale. “oh, i don’t know. maybe it was you speaking of your favourite snack, satoru.”

“and you think kikufuku mochis are my favourite?”

you raise a brow in silent challenge.

dragging you closer to himself, your husband chortles.

“you think my idiocy is contagious, don’t you? well, breaking news, mrs. gojo, your obliviousness is incurable.”

the furrow between your brows deepens, however, before you can say or ask anything, a pair of pink lips descend upon yours, capturing it in a tantalizingly slow motion – which, needless to say, renders every thought of yours into a mushy white noise.

a turn of events, you reckon, you aren’t very upset with.

you can always bring up the topic, satoru’s trying to evade, tomorrow.

[you don’t, though.

it is very late the next morning when you finally realize, lips swollen and body sore, the meaning of your husband’s statement — and a loud groan falls past you into the hush of your shared bedroom. a husky laugh muffles itself into your hair.

your obliviousness really is incurable... isn’t it?]

▸ masterlist

#gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk fics #jjk imagines #gojo drabbles #gojo fics #gojo imagines #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #kit posts 📝

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ace-and-the-rpg-horrors · 2 months

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the real funniest W x S member is Nene just for "i see idiocy too is contagious"

#I GIGGLE EVERY TIME #SHE DOESN'T EVEN TRY BUT SHE'S THE FUNNIEST #banger lines always #project sekai #pjsk #nene kusanagi #nene pjsk #nene project sekai #ace's random thoughts :)

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joanthangroff · 2 months

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Writer asks: 5, 12, 19 <3

5. What's a tag you never want to use for your works even when it applies?

Hmmm, idk. I’m very open when it comes to tagging :D I guess something like „The author regrets everything“? Because in the long run I don’t regret my writing.

12. If you write in more than one language, what's the difference?

It’s been a while since I wrote fic in a language other than English… Back then my writing was not skilled at all in any language, so I think comparing it to now would be unfair.

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

“Your idiocy is contagious,” Hartley says in lieu of a hello, dropping down in the armchair across from Oliver’s.

#thank you!#Yas writes #Yas answers #sophiainspace

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gatitties · 2 years

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Gae

─ Dbd x gn!teen!reader

─ Summary: a small visit to the assassins ends in a hasty escape and a deal

─ Warnings: none

2 < 3 > 4

"Oh yeah wait a moment Mr Postman..."

"YeeEeeEh-"

You gasped with laughter as the Deathslinger continued unaware of the melody of the song you had sung, catching him completely off guard, grunting because you had recorded it and going off to his own realm after that. He'd like to pierce your throat and blow your intestines out with his weapon, but no one could be hurt outside of the trials —except for the creatures of the fog— or you'd be three meters underground long ago.

That's why when you poked your head into their fire most of them took off as fast as the wind itself, Freddy wasn't going to put up with your comments about charred things, Amanda wouldn't stay to watch any of your nonsense and the clown just couldn't take brats like you.

The ones who ended up 'accepting' or putting up with you the most were Danny and Susie, they shared a lot of energy in some moments of collective idiocy, Bubba, Max and Michael were able to tolerate you, the first two because they didn't understand shit about what you were doing and the other because he just wanted not to be next to the others, and most of the time you scared them away as if you were a contagious disease.

Anyway you find yourself sitting next to Trickster, since he was one of the neutrals regarding your presence, well, he even made fun of you sometimes, calling you 'bunny' for your first terrible trial with the fluffy pink bunny shoes in Ormond. He also liked to hang out with you at times since you seemed like the only person with internet access, so you met the K-poper showing you all of his macabre discography and complaining about other korean groups, he also liked to do silly Tiktok dances together to you, since most of the survivors were too tired to dance, it had only succeeded with Nea once. Not to mention that the killers weren't going to do something like that.

You were sitting on one of the logs, your gaze lost in the crackling fire as you drowned out the noises around you, as Anna sharpened her axe, as Danny and Frank fooled around with each other, or as Ji-woon Hak played around throwing his blades into the air. Your stream of thoughts was cut off when one of the man's colorful blades pierced your thigh, you just felt something cold pass through the place as the weapons pierced through as if it were a hologram.

"What has you so thoughtful, bunny?"

"Why are you gae?"

His golden gaze pierced you to the soul, he stopped all his actions, breathing heavily while all the few who were there fell silent, Danny slowly took out his camera hoping to capture some good photo of you probably being strangled like Bart Simpson.

"Who says I'm gay?"

"You're gae."

You reacted immediately when he raised his arms to catch you, going around the campfire in a circle trying not to get caught, when he was about to grab the collar of your shirt you just saw your savior, Pyramid Head had just materialized next to you due to a game finished, you hid behind him hugging his waist, he could only stay like a statue because he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"Protect me, your cake is big enough that Ji-woon can't reach me!"

"His what-?"

Now you left them both completely confused, PH didn't know what you meant by 'his cake' and Trickster stared as you highlighted the figure of the Executor as if you were exposing one of the wonders of the world, well it was normal, you would like to know what a routine he had in Silent Hill to get that damn ass. Taking advantage of everyone's attention in the figure of the imposing assassin recently arrived, you escaped from the camp to return to yours.

Arriving to find you being crushed in the arms of a concerned Claudette, needless to say they'all had to scold you for escaping alongside the assassins, they didn't care much before, but knowing that those creatures of the fog could attack you on your way made that they refused to let you make your usual escapades.

For this very reason you found yourself idly in your cabin, your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance because you seemed to have babysitters everywhere, Meg always had an eye on you, and if you managed to get rid of her Leon always caught you in the act of fleeing. You ended up throwing a tantrum because this was starting to get worse than having strict parents, except that there were more than two people meddling in your life decisions.

Your anger only led to a run of bad games and you ignoring the survivors completely, drama queen? maybe, but you were at the age of getting angry about everything and everyone. This led to Dwight, considered the leader, now being in your cabin.

"You understand that we are only worrying about you, right?"

You clucked your tongue in displeasure, glancing over your shoulder as the man fingered his tie, adjusting it nervously. He'd had plenty of miserable jobs, but he'd never know how to deal with a teenager.

"I don't need anyone to worry about me, you are worse than my parents!"

"L-listen we can reach a deal, you don't have to keep behaving like this."

"Deal?"

"Yeah umh... we thought maybe you can get away from the camp as long as someone comes with you."

"Who would want to go to the killers camp to bother?"

"I'm sure Nea, David, Yui or Ace wouldn't mind..."

You narrowed your eyes for a few seconds before nodding, hiding a mischievous smile as you watched as he let out a sigh of relief, you were going to keep your part of the deal, but that didn't mean you were going to keep it forever. For now you would take advantage of the opportunity to have companions on your travels.

#dbd x reader #dbd #gender neutral reader #survivorsxreader #x reader #killersxreader #platonic #platonic reader #dwight #teen reader #the trickster #pyramid head

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thevoidlord23 · 8 months

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I hate 28 Weeks Later. It's plot is...weak. Not to mention that the sheer stupidity of the general, while accurate, is infuriating. I will list his acts of idiocy below:

Ignoring his CHIEF MEDICAL ADVISOR when she advised against bringing kids into the Isle of Dogs by immediately bringing in children.

Giving a fucking janitor access to every area in the building, including a level 3 biosecurity lab. A janitor that has no fucking training to deal with dangerous biological waste and Class A diseases. We'll revisit this act of stupidity later down the list.

Not training his patrolling snipers with enough discipline to do their fucking jobs when someone leaves the quarantine zone. They're dealing with a deadly and virulent disease that had literally wiped its ass with the majority of Great Britain's population in 28 days.

Not revoking the janitor's access to BIOSECURITY LEVEL 3 LABS after finding his infected (and very contagious) wife alive. The all-clearance access idiocy is the gift that just keeps on giving.

Packing every uninfected person into a giant, unsecured parking garage like a can of sardines under the assumption that Don would not break in.

And do ya know what General Stone could've done to avoid all this shit? Oh, I know. HE COULD'VE LISTENED TO THE GODSDAMNED CHIEF MEDICAL ADVISOR!

#28 weeks later #the void hates 28 Weeks Later because its plot goes beyond normal horror movie levels of stupid #or i did #now I hate it for its accuracy in describing the US' incompetance

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hantengus-clones · 10 months

Note

Which one of you is the owner of the cutest voice while singing

Hey, hey, hey! You're asking about the nicest voice while singing, huh? Well, let me give you the inside scoop! So, there was this one time when we aaaaall went to a karaoke joint together...

Oh boy, that was something else. Picture this: Sekido on the stage, holding the mic like he's about to battle a hashira. But instead of a melodious tune, it was more like a raging storm of sound. My ears died that day and recalling it sends shivers down my spine… Needless to say, he is uh…

He is trying his best! But seriously, it was like a… thunder! But ten times rougher and, you know, harsh! I mean, he's got the power, but let's just say pitch and melody weren't his strong points! Sorry, buddy, singing doesn't suit you!

And then there's Aizetsu, on the other end of the spectrum. When he sang, it was like a whisper carried by the wind. You had to strain your ears to catch it, but it was so relaxing. Aizetsu's voice has this calmness that Sekido just can't convey.

Ah, Aizetsu!~ He is like a hidden talent! He'd make your heart flutter with those soft, gentle tones, and almost made me fall asleep, kakaka, it was almost as if he sang a lullaby!~ But shhh, don't tell him we said that. He's not one for attention, you know?~ He would rather not be in the center of our appreciation!

Now, now, Urogi, when it comes to you… Well, let's just say that when Urogi sings, you can't ignore it, no, no. It's like a fireworks show in your ears, kyehehe. Could even say my ears died for a second time that day, and this wouldn't be far from the truth too.

Heeeyyy, I take pride in my powerful vocals! So what if I'm a bit on the loud side? You gotta embrace the joy, my friend! Besides, you say as if you did any better!

Kyahaha! I can't deny your energy, Urogi. It's contagious, and makes me feel at ease. But even with earbuds, your booming voice still managed to rattle my eardrums a bit.

Well, at least I left an impression! Isn't that the point of such activities?

(Urogi and Karaku continue their playful banter, filling the air with laughter and good-natured teasing.)

Hmph! Me? A BAD singer? Absurd! You two, you obnoxious morons, are devoid of any sense of taste or judgment! To fail to identify great brilliance when it stands BEFORE you, your ears must be as hollow as your mind.

Karaku, your ludicrous snickering exposes your idiocy! Do you believe your pathetic attempts at humor can disguise your voice's total lack of melody? You are nothing but a clown, a joke, and a buffoon!

And you, Urogi, with your insufferable buzzing! You confuse noise for skill, believing that loudness can compensate for your total lack of finesse! It's an insult to all real vocalists!

#hantengu #hantengu clones #sekido #karaku #urogi #aizetsu #demon slayer #demon slayer rp #kimetsu no yaiba #kny rp blog #upper moon four #kny

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ashxketchum · 9 months

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Hi just curious about these koumi L's you mentioned, all I've seen are W's (pixiv, tri and the ending of 2020 say hi) hate to break it to you but Mimi is practicaly the little sister Matt never had which parallels Koushirou practically being the younger bro Tai never had, prettty sure mimato never even crossed kakudou's mind once during the og, anyway, everyone should continue to ship what they like canon or fanon

HI WORSTIE 😍

Glad you guys are curious about something since reading comprehension runs low on your side of the fandom!!! That Koumi L comment was directed at the shipper making an absolute irrelevant ruckus in the replies of the original post, dragging not just Mimato but every other Mimi ship and some more. It was not directed at the hsip itself. But clearly you failed to understand that, just as all other Koumi shippers fail to understand basic decency and decorum that a fandom needs to maintain in order to follow: "everyone should continue to ship what they like canon or fanon".

Your dear ship's event mod is running around leaving weird comments on other ship week's content, and if you feel like chalking up one incident to benefit of the doubt, then do you wanna talk about this ⬇️

The dates for Mishiro Week (who tf even calls this ship that 🤣) are the exact same dates for Michi Week and then the mod is saying "because we're jealous of other weeks" (- that being a motivation to hold an event and not the fact that you cherish these two characters and their relationship enough to celebrate it is a lil sus in itself🫣 -) clearly implies that they want to one-up another Mimi ship even though Michi Week announced their dates well in advance? You're talking about keeping things peaceful in the fandom, but maybe you should preach that to your own choir first!!!

And it's just your luck that you could've chosen anyone in the Mimato fandom to send your silly rant to but you chose me 🥹🫶🏻 The one person on this hellsite who has done their PhD in Digimon Adventure Tri, certified by Toei Animation themselves lmao 😇

Where do I even begin!!!

Content on a fanwork site Pixiv is considered a Win?? Then all the Mimato/Michi/Jyoumi/Taishiro/Koukari/Koura fanart on all fanworks sites are a Win too? Is that the logic you were going for, awww thank you 🫶🏻

And then let's talk about TRI! The series where Koushiro is checking Mimi out 24x7 like an object, he calls her egotistical/self centered for acting impulsively to save a friend - using the same wording that the mean girls in festival committee use (bully alert 🚨, he doesn't even apologise for doing that btw 🚩), only then shows up to stare at her in a cheerleader uniform, ignores all the concern that she shows for him despite him being rude to her and Meiko both and ends up having way more chemistry with Takeru throughout the series (KouKeru my beloveds 😍).

But it's important to mention the guy who does take a W for Mimi in Tri, JOU KIDO!!! He accepts Mimi for who she is, doesn't criticise her actions, understands that her aggressive love is filled with nothing but pure intentions, uplifts her mood when she needs it the most and showers her words of affirmation that eventually lead to Palmon's mega evolution. And for that he deserves a big squishy hug, which he gets from Mimi 🥰 Honourable mention for taking W's for Mimi in Tri will also go to Meiko, she becomes her ride or die in such a short time of knowing her because she sees Mimi for the kind soul that she is. She also deserves a hug, and she gets it from Mimi too 🥰

In Tri we also see Mimi refer to Taichi and Yamato as handsome (and she does ask Koushiro if he's interested in her cause she's cuter, man for someone with a lot of brains he sure does care only about her looks!🚩) She starts recording TaiYama the minute they get into that Ferris wheel, she and Taichi walk a lot of places together don't they, she and Meiko share a meal with Taichi and Yamato in the Odaiba Onsen must I go on ~ Please do a full rewatch to see how Koushiro proves he's not a good match for Mimi in Tri with his ficklemindedness~

Next up: The Reboot, my other lovechild, I kid you not worstie, me and the Reboot writers share the exact same braincells, like legit, in the entirety of the series run, the most worthwhile Koumi hint they gave was them sitting in a Garage together at the end 🤣 The amount of quality time she spent with Taichi on the other hand, chef's kiss, and the instant bonding with Jou where she could tease him from the minute they met, WOW A BIGGER CHEF'S KISS 😘

THE SIBLING PARALELL -omg where my Taishiro shippers at, will you guys take this slander sitting down? 😭

Listen worstie, Taichi and Yamato do not require sibling parallels because *news flash* THEY HAVE SIBLINGS WITH WHOM THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE FLESHED OUT THROUGHOUT THE SERIES LOL. And I also love love LOVE how you didn't hesitate to call Mimi a sibling coded friend for Yamato, especially when 99% of the fandom is telling Mimato shippers that Yamato and Mimi don't interact 🤣 Mimato haters please pick a struggle, are there no Mimato interactions in the series or are there so many interactions that we can safely conclude Mimi is the sister Yamato never had 🥹👉🏻👈🏻 *Takeru has left the chat*

As far as Kakudou's concerned, neither of us are mind readers so why even try and assume which ship crossed his mind and which ship didn't? Did you just add this comment because you thought it'd make you sound all edgy for knowing the staff's name or assuming you understand the thought process that went into making this series? If you did understand the latter, you wouldn't be in my inbox 🫶🏻

So anyway when you're done rewatching the actual series, you can come back to my inbox annnnyyytimeee, maybe even have the courage to be off anon who knows you might learn a thing or two from Taichi 🧡🧡🧡

Stay safe out there, idiocy is very contagious in this fandom 😷

#answered #anonymous #antikoumi #digimon #digimon adventure tri #sorry i'm allergic to dumbness 😔

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ugh-yoongi · 2 years

Note

hello darling, happy milestone reaching!

humbly requesting a crack crossover drabble of yousuck!jin meeting byob hsjk for absolutely no reason other than my entertainment 😌

love you

hello bee! thank you for gracing my ask box with the funniest request i have ever gotten. i hope this makes you chuckle. love u.

pairing: none, but features hsjk from boyb & vampire jin from you suck!

wc: 561

warnings: a reference to smth i wrote in the last chapter of boyb but you don't need to read it to understand. nothing else. this is pure idiocy.

Seokjin has lived a long time and has seen a lot of things.

A lot of weird shit, specifically, considering the world he inhabits.

He’s not sure he’s ever seen anything like this.

“Um,” he says dumbly, jaw snapping open and shut in rapid succession as he tries to put thoughts to words. “Uh,” is what he comes up with.

The man standing in front of him should, for all intents and purposes, be normal. He’s relatively tall, attractive, and people seem comfortable around him. Everyone at this party had smiled and cheered when he walked in and knew his name and various nicknames. So, yeah—he should be normal.

Instead, Seokjin watches in horror as this strange man before him stands in front of a mirror, eyeliner pen in hand, and draws all over his face. “What is he doing?” Seokjin asks you, voice hushed, like if he speaks too loud the weird man will realize he’s there and… do something. Attack, maybe. He makes Seokjin feel unsettled.

“Drawing tattoos on his face.”

Seokjin swallows. He knows what tattoos are, of course, and he knows why people get them. What he doesn’t understand is why this man is drawing fake ones on his face in the bathroom at a child’s birthday party.

“And why would he be doing that?”

You shrug. “No clue.” It’s your niece’s birthday. She’s turning four, and she loves Frozen, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, and Seokjin—in that order.

This is a strange display of human behavior and it’s driving Seokjin crazy. He crowds behind you, crouches down a little like he’s hiding or using you as a human shield, and whispers into your ear, “Can you ask him?”

“Seokjin, you’re like three-hundred years old. You’re a big boy. Ask him yourself.”

That’s just preposterous, and Seokjin says as much with a vigorous shake of his head. Whatever is wrong with this weird man is possibly contagious, and Seokjin doesn’t need to catch some incurable alien disease. “No.” He pouts, even though he’s behind you and you can’t see it. “I’m pouting,” he explains. “I’ve got the big puppy dog eyes that you can’t resist. Please ask him, he scares me.”

You huff in disbelief. Turn around so the two of you are face-to-face, and he wasn’t lying: he’s definitely got a pout and the puppy dog eyes. “You’re seriously scared of that guy?”

“Yes.” He shivers.

“You could kill him fifty different ways before he even has a chance to blink.”

Seokjin pouts harder. “He has weird energy. It makes me feel like I’ve got jock itch.”

“What the fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You don’t push it further. Instead, you turn towards the man and go, “Jungkook, what the fuck are you doing?”

Jungkook startles, accidentally draws a long, jagged line across face. “Aw, man,” he says, voice whiny. It feels like a jumpscare when he turns to the two of you with a wide smile. “I’m trying out a new character!”

You hum. “I see. And who might that be?”

He gestures to his face with one hand and to the dress he’s wearing with the other. “I’m Froze Malone!”

“Cool,” you deadpan. Then you’re turning back to Seokjin and fixing him with the meanest glare he’s ever seen you wear. “Happy now, you giant pissbaby?”

Seokjin does not understand humans at all.

#i love them your honor #two idiots one cup #milestone drabbles #fic: ys #fic: boyb #jewel answers

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