#WHAT A WILD RIDE THAT WAS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 10 months

Text

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT FOLKS, SINCE I’M INSANE MY REACTION WILL BE SPLIT INTO FOUR PARTS FOR READING CONVENIENCE FOR Y’ALL BUT I AM GONNA WATCH IT IN ONE SITTING I AM FULL OF FEAR BUT LETS GET STARTED

PT 1 OF THIS NONENSE “THE EMPERORS WRATH” THAT IS INSTANTLY CONCERNING

OH WAIT THAT’S THE NAME OF THE FULL SPECIAL THIS IS “A LIFETIME OF MISTAKES” I’M BEING KILLED

OKAY LETS SEE WHAT THESE LUNATICS ARE UP TO

MONKIE KID THEME SONG MY BELOVED

OH I’M EXCITED

FEAR

OMINOUS MUSIC AND REALITY ITSELF SEEMING TO BE TEARING APART AS AZURE TRIES TO STITCH IT BACK TOGETHER? HORRIFYING

HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S HAVING SOME TROUBLE THERE

YELLOW-TUSK LOOKING TIRED AND CONCERNED

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OLD MAN

I confess I did watch the first like ten seconds yesterday which was funny cause Yellow-tusk showed up and my brain completely ignored Azure to go “ A GRANDPA :D”

SCREAMS

ITS THE CREW

MY BELOVEDS

I WANNA KNOW WHAT YELLOW-TUSK THINKS OF ALL THIS

AND IF AZURE’S REMAINING BROS ARE GONNA TRUN ON HIM

“AT LEAST ITS PRETY” MEI ILY

“yeah if ya ignore the strong end of the world vibes” Pigsy, you ave my entire soul, i love you I LOVE TIHS MAN

THE PIG MAN IS RIGHT

I love how like, killing the Jade emperor apparently means you get to take his place, like dang alright, the Santa Clause movies vibes, all you gotta do is push Azure off a roof-

and exactly no one will understand that reference but i swear i’m funny guys i promise-

Azure @ the Jade Emperor: ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND ALL DAY AND MOOCH OFF OTHER PEOPLES SUFFERING Azure, after sitting in the Jade Emperors seat: oh shoot hol up this is so much harder than i thought I’d be breathing is hard-

That’s hilariousGH;LASF

NEZHAAAAA BLESS FOR BANDAGING THIS DUDE UP HE NEEDED THAT HE’S NOT DOING SO HOT BUT GODSPEED YOU REALLY FOUGHT FOR THIS STUFF YOUNG MAN

MONK

I LOVE HOW EVERYONE IS CALLING TANG MONK THIS SEASON DESPITE THE FACT HE’S NOT REALLY ACTUALLY A MONK RN HGL;F;JAOWIEFJSDF (or is he...?)

wait wait

before they turn around he’s asking about the scroll

are they like, putting bandaids and bandages on the scroll pls it’d be so funny-

YUP

YUP AWFUL TAPE JOB

WELL DONE

ILY TANG

THERE AINT’ NOTHING A BIT OF TAPE CAN’T FIX (they can’t say duct tape for legal reasons- /j /j /j)

NEZA UDNERSTANDABLY OUTRAGEDHGL;SDKFJ

NEZHA FEELS LIKE HE’S THE ONE GUY WITH A BRAINCELL HERE AND HE’S RIGHT

I MISSED YOU SM

LOOK HOW FLOOFY HIS HAIR IS

BLESS YOU MONKIE KID ARTISTS

MEI

WHEEZINGNS;DLFMSDF

MK PAYING V CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE’S SAYING BUT NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT

SHE CAN’T EVEN FINISH THE SENTENCE PLS HGLSDJFD

HER FACE

WHOEVER DREW THAT EXPRESSION I’M SHAKING YOUR HAND

I’M

I’M WORRIED NOW

HECK I’M WORRIED NOW

ITS MONKEY KING HE’S FINE THAT GUY IS INDESTRUCTABLE

IS HE THO??????

I SURE HOPE HE IS BUT THE MUSIC THAT WAS PLAYING ALONGSIDE WHEN HE SAID THAT MAKES ME SO SO VERY CONCERNED

WOW I’M WATCHING THE SPECIAL THAT JUST HIT ME

HOLY CRAP THE SPECIAL IS OUT

HOLY CRAP I HAVE IT

OH MY GODS I’M INSANE

this season is my fave for how they draw these guys they are just so shaped and so wonderful

MAGICAL TAPE

HELPGLSKMFSD

NEXHA LOOKS READY TO FIGHTOHHMYGODS MACAQUE

RIGHT

HE’S HERE

OH HE’S STILL HERE LETS FREAKING GO

I DONT’ KNOW WHY I WASN’T EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE MY YOUNGER BROTHER IS GONNA BE SO EXCITED HE LOVES MACAQUE I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL HIM HE’S MAKING AN APPERANCE THIS SPECIAL LETS GOOOOO

MACAQUE’S FACE

IS SO PUNCHABLE

WHATCHA THINKING ABOUT THERE MONKEY

ABANDONMENT?

its nice he doesn’t come out and tell Mk he’s wrong tho y’know? THAT’S WHAT WE CALL G R O W T H !

NEZHA IN

SCREAMS

MACAQUES COMING??? FR??

OH MY BROS GONNA LOSE HIS MIND WE GET MACAQUE

I can’t believe Macaque is actually making sense, who are you and what have you done with the monkey- /j /j /j JOKING

HE MAKES A GOOD POINT! I LOVE HOW HE BELIEVES HE’S ENOUGH TO POSSIBLY TRIGGER WUKONG’S MEMORY LOVE THAT

Ngl it’d be super funny if like, macaque being there didn’t help at all it’d be so funny, but i’m rooting for it does help but also if Wukong has to like, relive a bunch of stuff in order to remember OH BOY LETS SEE HOW THIS GOES

HELPGN;LKMSD

MOOD

I’M MK

THO MAC BOI I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE MUCH BETTER BUT WE’LL SEE

BIASED PERSPECTIVE CAN WARP EVENTS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED QUITE A BIT AS TIME PASSES SO GL WITH THAT I’M VERY INTERESTED TO SEE IF HE REMEMBERS THINGS RIGHT OR IF WUKONG REMEMBERS THEM RIGHT OR IF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IS LOST TO TIME WE’LL SEE HOW THIS GOES

“Your criticism is harsh but fair, ALRIGHT-“ MACAQUE’S FACE IN THAT SHOT PLEASE WHO DREW HIM THERE I’M CRYINGL;SDMKFDS

LEGOOO THEY’RE USING THAT SO MUCH THIS SEASON I NEED TO MAKE A COMPILATION MY GODS

Tang’s got some confidence with his powers now that’s great!!

So…

Wait is it just Mk and Macaque?

HOL UP IS IT JUST THEM GOING??

OH MAN

OPH MAN WAIT

OH MAN WAIT THIS IS FIRE ITS MK AND MACAQUE

WHAT A CHOICE

OKAY

OKAY YEAH

HERE WE GO

CANT’ TAKE TANG HE’S GOTTA BE THERE TO GET THEM OUT OF IT

OHHH I’M SO NORMAL

OHJ MY GODS THEY’RE GONNA RESCUE WUKONG I’M GONNA CRY

hello transitions for AMV’s <3

SNORTS

“wuuukoong, what have you done-“ WDYM HE’S TRAPPED IN A SCROLL CHILLAX BRO

oh ;-;

tearing his way through-

HOL UP IS THAT GONNA HAVE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS ON HIS MEMORY???

IS HE TEARING THROUGH HIS OWN MIND TO TTRY AND GET BACK TO MK??

SCREAMS??

OH THIS SPECIAL IS GONNA WRECK ME I’M NOT READY

Also, one again, Macaque voice actor, nothing but respect, he’s doing really well

You have got to be kidding me i’m only two minutes in I feel like this has been a whole episode already I am not mentally well HG.,SDJFSKLDF

HELPGNSDFNA;OWEMF

THE DRAMATIC

ATTEMPT AT TAKING OFF AND JUST

OOP THERE HE IS! :D

RIP MACAQUE WHEEZINGSKLMF

Actually Macaque hanging with Mk and the team and being subject to the slapstick that hits the heroes is so freaking funny, welcome to being a hero-warrior macaque, you are now the butt of the joke- HGL;KSADJF;JWEF

I will cry right hecking now

IS A MONKEYYYYY

MK’S BIG SMILE PLS

SOBS LOUDLY

HELPGJSJKF

THAT’S JUST A MEMORY

HE’S JUST A SILLY LI’LL MONKEY

IM WILL CRY RIGHT NOW

RIGHT NOW YOU’LL SEE ME SOB

HELPGN;DFM

I REALLY WISHED THEY’D USED MAGIC TAPE THAT’S SO SILLY

CHOKES

“I’ll know the real wukong when we find him” OH YEAH MACAQUE? WILL YOU? KNOW HIM THAT WELL DO YOU?? Again what an interesting choice to make them so close

very funny Macaque, you look like you smell worse I’M JOKING I’M JOKING- HGKL;SADJF;AWHEFM

i GASPED

I ACTUALLY GASPED

FIRST PROCESSING HOW EXICTED WUKONG WAS TO SEE HIS MONKEYS AND THEN

BAM

MONKEY SO EXCITED TO SEE WUKONG ONL FOR HIM TO DISSAPEAR

ITS

HECK ITS ONE OF THE MONKEYS I’M GONNA CRY

CHOKES

HELPGNSLFMSD

MACAQUE’S FACE

I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MONKEY SO EXCITED TO SEE SOMEBODY

MONKEY KNOWS AND LIKES MACAQUE THAT’S SO SILLY

MAN

YUP

WELCOME TO SLAPSTICK MACAQUE

I’M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

MK’S ARM SUDDENLY TEN FEET LONG I’M DYINGNSDL;KMSD

YEAAAHHH RIGHT INTO THE SMASH

HELPNMSLDKMSDF

MACAQUE TRYING TO BE FUNNY

ABSOLUTELY DEADPAN THIS WHOLE TIME

I’M SO INTERESTED IN HOW THIS’LL TURN OUT HECK

Wow thanks for catching him Macaque- HGL;KZSJFL;ASF

…looks at who drew the jump through the cracked yellow light

ily

aNOTHER MONKEY

PROBABLY EXCTIED TO SEE MACAQUE TOO

BARRELS WORTH

HELPGKLMSD;OFEWF

.heck

that

that hurts for some reason heck

“dont you like it :D?”

OH BOY

HE’S SO CUTE

YEAH

REALLY GOTTA READ THE BOOK

I LOVE HOW MUCH THEY’RE SAYING THIS HELP

(Crew’s not so subtle wink wink nudge nudge at the fandom READ THE BOOK (joking joking)) (but no seriously read the book its a banger)

ITS MACAQUE

MAN THE ALMOST SHRILL SOUNDING MONKEY KING

MACAAAQUE! DOIN OKAY BUD? :D

MK MAKING FUN OF HIM HELPGMLSDFLKM

THE MONKEYS HELPGNSDF;AFE

MONKEY KING PLEASEJGLDF

THIS IS KILLLING ME Y’ALL

HE’S SO

HYPER

I LOVE HIM

NOOHOHOOOO maybe a little

THE CREW REALLY HAD A BLAST ANIMATING THE SILLY LITTLE GUY

heck dude “thats not the point! its so we can never worry about anything or anyone every again!!”

THEY’RE SO SILLY

THEY WERE SO SILLY

yeah that’s fair

Okayyyy

OKAYYYYYY

NOT BAD

STILL MACAQUE’S OPINION THO WHICH I DON’T FULLY TRUST STILL

ITS SO HAAARDDDD

CAUSE MACAQUE LIKES TO SAY EXACTLY WHAT WUKONG WAS THINKING IN FEELING BUT HE DOESNT’ ACTUALLY KNOW SO HE MAKES HIM OUT TO BE THIS HYPER AWARE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS LEAVES HIS FRIENDS BEHIND GUY, WHILE AZURE MAKES HIM OUT TO BE THIS LITTLE GUY WHO’S COOL AND WOULD MAKE A GREAT LEADER BUT DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE WNATS OR WHAT HE’S DOING AND NEEDS GUIDENCE SO WHICH IS THE REAL MONKEY KING HUH? MY BET IS NEITHER OF THEM REALLY KNOW

Rn tho I’m definitely leaning towards what Macaque’s describing because ITS NOT INFANTILIZING HIM SO I’LL TAKE IT

HOLYU CRAP IS THAT HTE MOUNTAIN

HOLY CRAP IS THAT THE MOUNTAIN

THEY SHOWED THE MOUNTAIN?/???

THEY’RE SHOWING THE MOUNTAIN???

HOLY CRAP??

MACAQUE CAME TO VISIT HIM IN THE MOUNTAIN???

HOLY CRAP???

Small beef here, but the whole point of Wukong’s punishment was so that he could see the world move on without him like, the worst case of FOMO (fear of missing out) you ever done experienced, watching stars die and new ones be born and landscapes change and people pass and not being able to be a part of that. Being totally underground kinda defeats the purpose of that bUT THAT’S SUCH A NITPICK FOR ME TO MAKE BUT I ALWAYS DO WHENEVER THERE’S A VERSION WHERE HE CAN’T SEE THE SKY OR TIME PASSING- DANG WHATS WITH THE CHAINS I’MGBSDLFKMD

man its how angry

HOLY

WOW

HE’S SO BITTER

THIS IS AMAZING

THIS

YES

OKAY

YES, WUKONG BEING THIS BITTER? YES ABSOLUTELY, HE’S IN TIME OUT AND HE’S ANGRY ABOUT IT

AND OFC YOU TAKE IT OUT ON THE ONE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY COMES AND CHECKS ON YOU BECAUSE THEY’RE THE ONLY PERSON NEAR YOU THAT YOU CAN BLAME [BANGS FISTS ON TABLE] M A N

OKAY NOT BAD

WE VIBIN

HOLY

THAT WAS SUCH A SATISFYING EXCHANGE TO SEE ACTUALLY

OKAY FINALLY WE’RE GETTING UNBIASED NARRATION I’M GONNA CRY

OH MY GODS THIS IS SUCH A RELIEF I’M SCREAMIGNFL;KMSF

THIS SHOW IS REALLY DRAGGING ME AROUND LIKE A CHEW TOY I SWEAR

ONLY THING I WOULD HAVE ADDED WAS JUST

WUKONG DOING LIKE, A SCREAM AFTER HE LEFT Y’KNOW?

JUST REALLY LETTING OUT THAT ANGER AND BITTERNESS AND DESPERATION YEAH WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT

HECK

MAN WHAT’S WITH YOU MACAQUE

ITS SO FUNNY

BELIEVED AS IN PAST TENSE

OH FINALLY

FINALLY

OKAY MK FINALLY HAS SOMEONE WHO’S NOT TRYING TO PUSH THEIR VIEW OF WUKONG ON HIM SURE ITS SOMEONE WHO’S DONE IT LOTS IN THE PAST BUT HECK I’M ACTUALLY OKAY WITH THE FACT ITS MACAQUE Y’KNOW??

ALRIGHT FOR NOT VILLIANIZING WUKONG SO MUCH LETS GOOOOOO

I am so basic my gosh hGLK;SAJDF

Macaque’s suddenly got such quiet open narration here its heck

WOW THAT

THAT’S QUITE THE POWER THEY GAVE THE TANG MONK IN THIS

OH THEY JUST HAD HIM SLAP IT RIGHT ON BEFORE HE’D EVEN GOTTEN A CHANCE TO ZOOM AROUND

Tbf it did look like he was lunging for the monk- HGKLSDJFJ

OH WWO THERE’S A SCREAM

YEAH OKA Y

HOLY CRAP DUDE

WELMCOME TO MONKEY KING LETS GO

MAKING THOSE GOOD LIFE CHOICES

ARE WE

FINALLY

GETTING

THE FOR REALSIES BACKSTORY LETS GO MK IS ALL OF US FOR FOUR SEASONS SCREAAAMS

Okay heck i gotta process some of that, path of self destruction we all were that’s great, the monkeys all there jsut as curious as mk, the shots of the jttw crew vibin, Wukong looking more and more carefree as they go AO LIE IS STILL JUST LOOKING AT WUKONG Y’ALL I THINK THAT DRAGON BRO IS ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT HIM AND I STILL DESPERATELY WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR THEM THEY’RE SO GOOD

“Every choice has consequences kid, for someone” MANS IS JUST ANGSTING OVER EVERYTHING HE CAN WE LOVE TO SEE IT

its so funny cause its like YAY GOOD STUFF!! o-orrr noooott noooooo WHEEZINGLSDFMS

THIS IS GREAT I’M ACTUALLY ENJOYUING THIS SO MUCH

HELPGMLSFMSD

MK IS US FR

MACQQUE JUST WALKING OFF

CAMEL RIDGE

WE BACK

NICE

NOW WE GOT THE

OHHHH

OKAY

WE’RE USING MACAQUE AS THE

GUY FROM THE SIDELINES SEEING THE CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYONE’S ACTIONS WHILE ALL THEY SEE IS THE GOOD HE SEES THE EFFECT AROUND IT NICE NICE INTERESTING APPROACH OKAY COOL YES NICE

NICE

OH WE SAW

WE SAW HIM FOR A SEC

HANG ON GOING BACK

HECK

WHAT IS THAT THE JADE EMPEROR OVER HIM??

HECKING

HOLDING HIS HEADL IKE THAT SCREAMS THE MONKEY THE MONEKYT HE MONKEYGDFMSJ;BHGA;OIWEFB;EF

THE SNIFF

HELPGNSDLKMFSD

JUST MAKIGN SURE HE’S REAL

I WAS GONNA PROCESS MORE AZURE AND CHAT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW HE’S EVEN CONVINCED HIMSELF LINE BUT HECK IT ITS’ MONKEY TIME SHUSH

AAA ITS HIM ITS HIM WHAT IS HE DOIN GIS HE JUST SITTING THERE IS HE OKAY I’MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOKS LIKE HE’S RELIVING MEMORIES IN FLASHES

OH HE LOOKS SO TIRED

I’M GONNA CRY RIGHT NOW

HELPGMNSDLMF

SORRY THE FLASH BETWEEN HIM AND MK IS JUST SOME GUYS RIPPED PECS I’M WHEEZINGNSDLKF;MWOEF

actually that hair- I think that might be azure’s ripped pecs- \DOESN’T MATTTER MOVING ON

HE SOUNDS SO TIRED

MACAQUE STANDING THERE WITH THE MONKEYS, WUKONGS MONKEYS, MACAQUE WITH WUKONGS MONKEYS IN THAT AREA ALL STANDING THERE WATCHING

HECK HE SOUNDS SO TIRED AND BROKEN?? VOICE ACTING?? HELLO???

HOLY CRAP DUDE

THE LITTLE GUY APPEARING IN FRONT OF MACAQUE

AND MACAQUE REACHING FOR

HECK DUDE

HE MISSES HIS FRIEND SO MUCH HUH

HE REALLY

SEEMS TO ACHE FOR THOSE TIMES WOW

NO LONGER EXIST THO

THAT SIGH

WUKONG

WHAT IS THIS

WHO DREW THESE SQUISHY GUYS

Wukong, having a moment where he’s so so tired of messing up

Mk, absolute ball of nothing but sunshine and good vibes: GOOD THING YOUR’E IMMORTAN THEN HUH :D LESSGOOOO

I DON’T THINK HE REALIZED MACAQUE WAS ACTUALLY THERE TILL HE CAME AND STOOD BEHIND MK

HECKING

WE JUST NEED TO LEAVE THINGS A LITTLE BETTER THAN WE FOUND THEM YEAH

WORDS I LIVE BY GENUINELY

MK’S FACE

WHEN HE SAYS HE’S NOT READY TO NOT HAVE A MENTOR

SOBS LOUDLY

STAFF BACK

SOBS THE

I’M SORRY I SCREAMED

THE LOOK AT MK

AND THEN THE LOOK AT MACAQUE

BECAUSE HERE’S SOMEONE WHO HAS FAITH IN HIM FOR THE FUTURE AND SOMEONE FROM HIS PRESENT WHO BELIEVES IN HIM AND WANTS HIM THERE, AND THEN THERE’S SOMEONE FROM HIS PAST AND HECK DUDE IF ANYONE REALLY KNOWS HE CAN DO BETTER IT’D BE SOMEONE FROM THEN RIGHT? SOMEONE WHO’S SEEN EVERY MESS UP HE’S EVER DONE BUT STILL CAME?? EVEN AFTER TRYING TO KILL HIM?? KILL EACH OTHER?? SURE?? AND THE

HECK THE SMILE???

THE

HECK IT WAS LIKE HE WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOEM KIND OF REASSURANCE AND DESPITE RELIVING A LOT OF HIS OWN TRUAMA AND HURT MACAQUE STILL PUSHES THAT ASIDE JUST A BIT SO HE CAN GIVE HIM A SMILE CAUSE HEY, THEY ARENT’ PERFECT OR EVEN IN A GOOD SPOT, BUT ITS BETTER THAN BEFORE AND HE KNOWS HE NEEDS THAT LITTLE EXTRA SUPPOT AND REASSURENCE I DON’T KNOW MAN I’M JUST YELLING WORDS RN I’M HAVING A MOMENT

THE SMILE BACK

HE’S BACK BABBYYYYYYYYYYY

THE BREATH

OKAY

WE FINE WE FINE WE FINE I’M FINE I’M GONNA CRY OH MY GODS WHAT AN EPISODE THAT WAS EVERYHTING I WANTED OKAY I’M SO GLAD HECKINGSDFL;AWOF STILL NITPICKING TINY THINGS BUT ALL TOGETHER THAT WAS GORGEOUS

I’M STILL LIKE, HAVING MACAQUE AS BEING SO CLOSE TO MONKEY KING IS STILL KINDA NEW FOR ME EVEN THO ITS BEEN YEARS BTU THIS IS STILL THE ONLY VERSION IV’E SEEN WHERE MAC PLAYS SUCH A BIG ROLE, BTU THEY HANDLED IT PRETTY WELL THE HIM SHOWING UP UNDER THE MOUNTAIN TO BRING HIM FRUIT AND WUKONG JUST ABSOLUTELY HECK DUDE THAT WAS

THAT WAS AWESOME

NICELY DONE

MAN

I just spent like half an hour talking about this ep to two different sibs and hecking i’m insane MY ENTIRE SOUL IS DEVESTATED, THE VOICE ACTING IN THIS EPISODE IS INSANE

MAN OKAY INTERESTING THAT THEY LIKE

PUT AZURE IN THERE KAY CAUSE

ITS BASICALLY BIG OLDER DUDE SAW YOUNGER DUDE THAT PEOPLE LIKED AND WHO’S FAMILY WAS DEDICATED TO THEM BECASUE THEY WERE STRONG AND A PROTECTOR AND WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO PROTECT THEIR FAMILY AND AZURE SAW THAT AND WENT “i can use this” AND PUSHED HIM INTO SOME STUFF WHICH IS INTERESTING BUT WORKS SO WELL WITH THE DIRECTION THEY CHOSE TO TAKE THIS I’M INSANE

OKAYOKAY I GOTTA GET WATCHING THE OTHER EPS IF I WANNA FINISH THIS ALL TODAY WISH ME LUCK THIS EPISODE WILL BRAINROT ME FOREVER

KNOX OUT

#knox rambles #Knox reacts #Monkie kid season 4 #Monkie kid season 4 special spoilers #Lego monkie kid season 4 special #WHAT A WILD RIDE THAT WAS #OKAY I HAVE WATCHED THE FULL THING #BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPAM ALL MY REACTION POSTS SO I'M GONNA POST ONE AT A TIME OVER THE NEXT THREE DAYS #OH M A N #DUDE

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loviatarsluv · 3 months

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An Acquired Taste

“You play a twisted little game,

but I know in a way,

you need to complicate

believe that though we never eat,

we still know how to feed,

we still know how to bleed”

Astarion x AFAB female rogue tav (third person, no super descriptive features aside from hair color and body)

takes place earlier into act 1, long before the grove party (I have plans for that)

rating: VERY mature (smut incoming lets go besties!!!!!!)

CW: threats of bodily harm (eheh), lots of sexual tension, choking, fingering, oral, some light knifeplay

a/n: I’m gonna be 100% honest w u I have not written in forever so I’m admittedly very rusty, but I have not seen enough enemies to lovers with astarion and I just needed it so thus this was born ^.^

in summary: astarion and tav butt heads constantly and get into a blow up fight where they both say shit they shouldn’t, tav is overwhelmed by everything and he is not helping, so she goes to blow off some steam once they get back to camp and he, of course, petty as he is, cannot let her have a single moment of peace and follows her. she threatens to slit his throat and he gets horny. as one does 🤷‍♀️ (just like me fr)

word count: 7.6k (i'm so sorry i was possessed writing this apparently)

(I have no idea where I got this gif from if someone knows tell me and I’ll tag the op!!)

The trek back to camp is mostly silent, save for the odd comment about the weather or spew of stream of consciousness by Karlach, which provided at least a tiny bit of comic relief.

The air was thick and suffocating between the party’s leader and the vampire who just loved to piss her off - it almost always was slightly tense, but today in particular was much different than what was usual for them.

As soon as they reach the camp, the group splits, all scattering across the site to their own chosen sections of it, Astarion nonchalantly strolling off to his own tent, which just so happened to be the closest one to hers. She audibly growls in frustration, earning a few concerned stares from her companions. She can’t even find peace in her own tent.

Before any of her companions can stop her or inevitably approach her with questions about what happened between her and Astarion or unsolicited and, quite frankly, unnecessary advice, she slips off to the place that had been the one piece of solace she had been able to find as of late. The clearing in the forest near the water's edge that was just outside of camp.

The usually ataractic smell of petrichor mixed with the misty air near the running stream fill her nose as she trudges through the muddy soil, her leather and metal plated boots feeling ten stones heavier than usual. She sets her sights on a fallen tree near the water, sinking down into the dirt before it, releasing a long and deep breath that she didn’t realize she’d been holding for what felt like days.

She slowly strips off the outer layers of her lightly plated armor piece by piece, goosebumps prickling her skin with each new bit of skin exposed to the crisp evening air. She discovers a few new bruises and scrapes that hadn’t been there previously when removing certain parts of her gear had become painful, her skin tender and sore beneath it. Her entire body ached, and she was utterly sapped.

The previous few days had been more challenging than anything she’d experienced in recent history - their predicament unfolding before them all in increasingly bleak shades of stormy gray and blood red with each new bit of information they receive regarding the mystery surrounding the parasites that writhed within their skulls. She’d be lying if she said she still held the same amount of optimism toward the prospect of a cure as she had in the earlier days of their expedition. No, that was long gone.

In fact, the only emotion she seemed to feel lately was anger. Rage.

She knew that the world was going to shit prior to being abducted by the mind flayers, but she had never seen for herself how truly doomed it was the way she had since then. It was sobering, to say the least.

She never considered herself to be particularly altruistic or even virtuous by any means, having only been able to survive by picking pockets and slitting throats that stood in the way since her early teen years. She wasn’t proud of it all, and her mind was not unburdened with the guilt that came with some of it, but it was necessary at the time. It continued to be necessary, even more so now.

An image of home flashes through her mind - Baldur’s Gate. The bustling streets, the busy taverns, the upper city where she procured the majority of her coin. She chuckles to herself as she thinks of all of the nobles whose pockets she’d made lighter who were none the wiser - hells, most of them probably never noticed as gold was never in short supply for them the way it was for the rest of the population. They were easy targets only due to their noses being so high in the air that they didn’t notice those beneath them, scrounging the streets for the crumbs they crushed beneath their perfectly polished boots.

All she had to do was bat her eyelashes, whisper the same sweet nothings that worked on every single one of them, and expertly slip her hand into their pockets while they were enchanted by her every move. It was easier than easy, it was effortless.

She almost misses it - things were simpler, then. It had all become routine after so many years of it. Of course, there was still the threat of death looming over her at every turn but at least she could put up a fight against the daggers and swords that were held to her throat - there was no fighting this. She couldn’t threaten the tadpole with knives or swords or warfare, and she certainly couldn’t fight off ceremorphosis by sheer willpower. Sure, she could cut through every goblin, drow, or cultist that dared cross her path if they didn’t offer a cure or information for a cure, but none of that mattered as the creature inside her was nothing more than a ticking time bomb. Every second that passes could be her last without tentacles and an insatiable appetite for brains, and she’d be rendered nothing more than a soulless monster, doomed to follow every command given to it by an even bigger monstrosity.

Her hope and faith in finding a solution deteriorated more and more as the days passed with no answers, no leads, the prospect of making it out on the other side of this predicament seeming ever more distant.

She groans loudly to herself, tossing her head into her hands as she brings her knees closer to her chest, wishing she could shrink and disappear. Wishing the mud below her would form a sinkhole and just swallow her, that way it didn’t matter anymore, nothing would.

“Fuck,” She whispers through gritted teeth as she feels tears starting to well up in her eyes, much to her physical and internal protest.

In spite of her throbbing muscles and aching bones, she pushes herself up from the ground, refusing to resort to wallowing in self pity and mourning her once simple life.

But her chest feels as though it were caught in a vice, clamping down on her ribs and lungs and it felt as if she were fighting for every breath. Her fists were clenched so tightly and her nails dug into her palms so deeply that they were on the verge of drawing blood. She felt the need to scream, to cry, to break something - even though none of it would alleviate the weight that rested on her shoulders so heavily. Nothing that was within her reach could.

She felt like everything had come crashing down on her all at once and she was helpless to fight the barrage of what ifs and the potential outcomes of them flooded her mind.

Then, to top it all, her earlier argument with Astarion resurfaces in her mind.

“Apologies for not being as keen to remove the thing that has given me what I’ve been deprived of for two centuries. I’m only saying that we should—“

“So you’d trade feasting on rats in a dirty cell for feasting on brains at the command of some start-up god? You must really be desperate.”

His crimson eyes that were typically bright and playful were now dark and malignant, his jaw clenched and fangs bared. He looked as though he were about to lunge at her, before Wyll grabs him and pulls him back.

She regretted it the moment it left her lips, but she was too angry and too prideful to take it back. But he was seriously irking her - he provoked it out of her, she could hardly blame herself or feel sorry.

“What about you? Roaming the streets, scrounging through the garbage and the dirt for table scraps, stealing from nobles - you’re no better than the rats I fed on, the only difference is that the ones I fed on were more tolerable.”

It was then her turn to get pulled away, as within an instant her dagger was unsheathed and pointed in his direction. She couldn’t tell who it was that grabbed her - perhaps Gale, she thought, who was much stronger than he looked as he subdued her fairly quickly, wrapping his arms around her and dragging her backwards.

It took a lot of talking both of them down to diffuse the situation enough to safely make it back to camp in one piece, both of them too stubborn and prideful to let the matter rest until they just couldn’t stand to be near each other anymore.

His voice echoes in her head, reminding her of every person she’d ever reached out to for help in her life, degrading her to nothing more than a street rat begging for scraps. Her temper rises as she replays his words - “you’re no better than the rats I fed on” - over and over, finally tipping her over the edge.

She retrieves her rapier from the heap she’d discarded her armor and clothes in, rushes toward a large oak tree, swinging it into the trunk over and over until there’s large slashes in the trunk, the bark flying in shards and bits.

She steps back, breath ragged and heavy, eyes burning with tears that she refused to shed, especially over him and his damned opinion.

She's too enthralled in her own outburst to notice the footsteps approaching in the forest behind her.

“And what exactly did that tree do to deserve your wrath?” Astarion taunts, slowly stalking up behind her.

She doesn’t turn to face him, nor does she acknowledge him at all, tossing her weapon to the ground and walking back toward the stream.

“Tsk, I’m getting the silent treatment now? No scathing insults or cruel comments regarding my past?” He continues to prod, following a few steps behind her.

“Fuck. Off.” She growls through gritted teeth.

He chuckles, the sound bitter and disingenuous, goading.

“Oh, darling. You couldn’t possibly think that we wouldn’t have to kiss and make up after our little spat earlier. We’re stuck with each other in this sordid endeavor, after all.”

Her knuckles have gone white with the force of her clutching onto the fabric of her undershirt that she’d thankfully left on, on the off chance one of her companions came to check on her. Much to her dismay, of course it was the one companion she wished she had never laid eyes on to begin with.

“I’d rather kiss a leech, darling,” she spits, her tone coated in vitriol. “I have nothing more to say to you, unless you’d like me to return the favor of holding a dagger to your throat.”

When they’d met outside the nautiloid crash, and the elf held her at knifepoint demanding information, assuming she was a thrall or working with the mind flayers, she thought perhaps they would get along. She immediately recognized him as a kindred spirit as she knew that she would’ve done the same in his shoes, hells, she was even attracted to him.

Oh, how wrong she’d been.

Well, not about the attraction. That, unfortunately, did not dissipate.

If anything, it only made her hate him more.

He almost cackles, stalking in ever closer, closing the gap between them step by step. She resists the urge to step backwards to increase the distance between them once again, and stays planted in place out of spite, digging her heels into the dirt for extra support.

“I think there’s a lot that we both want to say and do to each other - the question is who’ll be the first to act.” His voice is equal parts threatening and sultry - something only he did so well.

He could make you loathe him and lust him in one fell swoop with ease. It was one of his biggest strengths, and a large reason why she hadn’t told him to piss off and find another group to leech off of. He was useful in and out of battle, much to her dismay.

“The only thing I want to do with you at this very moment is throw your pasty ass in the river and hope that you’ve forgotten how to swim.” She spat.

He continues to stalk closer, their bodies now less than a foot apart.

“You’re stubborn. I like that about you. You don’t accept defeat easily, even when it’s knocking at your door. It’s quite admirable, really,” he pauses to lean forward, lowering his face so they’re eye to eye.

“Admit it, dear, you’ve met your match with me.” He grins a devilish grin that she wants to slap off of his pretty mouth. If he were any closer, she might have.

“This isn’t a competition. I want to be rid of this damned thing and you want to step in the way of my and everyone else’s survival at every turn just for your own selfish sake!” She seethes, her voice raising and echoing through the woods.

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t act as though you give the slightest bit of a damn about anyone’s survival but your own, altruism isn’t a good look on you, pet. You and I are cut from the same cloth, whether you want to admit that to yourself or not.”

Her once empty fist was now grasping the handle of her dagger that she had sheathed and strapped to her thigh, as she always did, a habit that came in handy more times than she’d like for it to.

“I am nothing like you.” Is all she manages to hiss before he finally closes the gap between them, his face merely inches from hers, basically towering over her - their stark height difference being something only he had noticed and fully planned on using to his advantage.

He feels the heat radiating off of her, and he tells himself that it’s due to more than just anger to stroke his own ego. He knew that she was attracted to him, he’d caught her eyes lingering on him when she thought he wouldn’t notice - when he’d change into his evening clothes just outside his tent, when he would traipse off into the woods to hunt at night, and in general throughout their days traveling he would catch her eyes on him, watching him. It made it all the more exciting for him, knowing that even though she despised him, she’d let him have his way with her if the opportunity arose. He was just biding his time for the right moment and preparing all the perfect words that he knew would reduce her to putty in his hands.

“Keep telling yourself that, if it’ll help you sleep peacefully at night.” He whispers, his eyes dark and hungry - she couldn’t decipher whether it was for her or her blood in one way or another.

“How can I sleep peacefully knowing there’s a bloodsucker who hates me in the next tent over from me?” She half jokes, not letting this closeness falter her composure, despite the way her heart was racing a million a minute.

He flashes that damned smirk that he does when he’s up to something, one of his fangs peeking out over his bottom lip as he does, glinting in the golden glow of the sunset. He almost looked human, in this light. His usually pallid skin is nearly lively and his crimson eyes almost appear to be a shade of dark brown instead. Although, she thinks that his eyes were probably blue, before. Not that it mattered, not that she cared.

“What makes you think that I hate you, darling?” His face flashes a feign innocent expression, in spite of his eyes still holding that same intense darkness that bordered between disdain and desire.

“I certainly don’t think that you like me, by any means. And don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.”

His smirk widens into a sadistic grin, both fangs now on display.

“On the contrary, sweetness. I think we need to stop lying to each other if we’re going to continue this little adventure of ours together,” his voice is low and breathy, rumbling in his chest almost like a growl. He brings a hand up to trace the side of her jaw gently, and she flinches away.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” He continues, his once gentle caress turning into a rough and forceful grab as he forces her to look at him, his blood red eyes boring into hers.

“I only watch you because I don’t trust you. I thought that’d be pretty clear.” It was a lie. She knew it was a lie, but it was only a half lie, technically. She didn’t trust him, she hadn’t since the beginning.

He lets out another cruel laugh, and she knows that he caught on.

“Hmm. You know, I’d assume you would be a better liar - how disappointing for you, but delicious for me.”

This was the last straw for her as she promptly unsheathes the dagger that her finger had been itching over since he made his unwelcome appearance into her life, pressing it to his throat, slowly pushing him backwards until his back hits the nearest tree.

His demeanor doesn’t falter for an instant, his face still twisted into that same demented sneer - the bastard was enjoying this.

The air between them was so thick it would have had to be cut with a great sword as their eye contact never breaks, neither of them intending to surrender.

“Give me one reason not to slit that pretty throat of yours.” She snarls behind gritted teeth.

He swallows hard, his Adam's apple grazing against the cool metal of her blade. He stares down at her and can’t help but admire her - eyes wild, long raven black hair uncharacteristically disheveled with some strands sticking to her forehead due to leftover dried sweat and grime, her pressed against him hard with only a flimsy shirt shielding her body from him. He doesn’t even try to hide it, letting his tongue slip out to wet his bottom lip, an undeniably lustful look in his eyes.

It takes her a moment to notice when she finally comes back to her senses after her adrenaline settles, a scowl painting across her face as the realization hits.

“You’re disgusting.” She hisses, pulling away from him, lowering her blade.

Despite her words, the way he was looking at her sparked something in her - something she had done so well to disregard and push down up to this point, but her resolve was weakening under his gaze.

He doesn’t respond, eyes never leaving her as they trail up and down her body, constantly returning back to her bare legs and thighs. And from the angle she stood, with the sunset behind her, her light colored linen shirt was nearly opaque and he could see the outline of her body. He feasted his eyes on her delicate curves, the way her hips jutted out and her waist dipped in above them, her toned arms flexing, muscles clenching. She was unquestionably sexy, and his craving for her had doubled if not tripled at the sight of her in this way, even after she pressed her dagger to his neck. Hells, even then.

She starts to back up as his gaze only intensifies - hungry eyes trailing her body felt like hot coals being dragged across her skin.

Before she can make it more than a couple inches away, his hands are grasping her waist, fingers digging into the soft flesh to a bruising point, pulling her back to him and flipping them so that her back is flush against the tree where his had been, effectively switching the roles and asserting his dominance over her, as he’d been dying to do for what felt like centuries.

His icy hand comes up to her throat, closing his fist around it firmly but not enough to entirely restrict her breathing and pinning her against the wood, his face now close enough to feel her hot breath against his cheeks.

The rough bark digs into her scalp and back, his fingers press into the spot just below her jaw near her pulse point. He feels her pulse thrumming rapidly against his fingertips, he can hear her heartbeat racing in her chest.

“You wound me, pet… I almost believed that one.” He purrs, his cold breath and the tone of his voice sending a chill down her spine, and an unwelcome heat through her, pooling low in her core.

With one hand still on her throat, his other hand rests on her waist before languidly roaming the parts of her body that weren’t covered by his own pressed against it.

She feels helpless under his touch, all of her previously built up walls and her icy facade start to melt beneath him, but not without her brain chiming in and reminding her who he is and how bad of an idea this was.

“Let me go.” She whispers plainly, unable to muster enough nerve to yell or scream or fight back, settling for no emotion at all.

He smirks at her, his hand advancing upwards, his fingers laving over the side of her breast, causing her nipples to harden, peaking against the soft linen fabric of her shirt.

“Is that what you really want, darling? Your body tells a different story,” he hums, his finger now grazing her nipple agonizingly gently, disrupting any thought or intention of fighting him off.

She's unable to find a word that could suffice in telling him to stop, but also dear gods please keep going. Her body was taking the reins, and she blames it on having not had any sort of intimacy since long before the nautiloid. Only to avoid the prospect that she was truly enjoying this.

Her silence doesn’t suffice, though.

He tightens his grip on her throat, pressing his index finger and thumb on either side of her jaw to direct her face so their eyes meet.

“I need you to tell me what you want, pet. I can’t do anything for you if you don’t tell me what you want.”

She bites down on her bottom lip almost hard enough to bite through, a slight metallic taste hitting her tongue. Her body was trembling with the effort it took to contain herself, to not give in to him but it was proving to be an insurmountable task. The logical side of her brain wants to say no just so he doesn’t get the satisfaction of her begging for him like he wants, but she can’t. The part of her brain that is apparently driven by the spot between her legs and the rest of her body is screaming over any logic and telling her everything she doesn’t want to hear.

“Harder.” She barely manages to choke out, her voice strained against the pressure of his hand on her throat.

He freezes, his body stilling and tensing up.

“What was that, darling? I couldn’t quite hear you.” He grits his teeth, his voice low and his mouth centimeters from her ear.

“Harder.” She says louder, placing her hand over his and pressing down.

Gods, he could’ve come undone right then and there.

Without another word, their lips collided in a frenzied and feral kiss, one that was inevitable, they both learned, judging by how effortless the kiss was - their lips melding and their tongues in sync as if they’d done it a million times before. Her fingers ran through his ivory curls, tugging at the roots and eliciting a groan from him that sent a chill up her spine.

He obliged her request, slightly closing his fist tighter around her neck, which chokes a moan out of her that he quickly swallows in another kiss. His free hand greedily continues to roam and grab at anything he can - her thighs, her ass, her breasts, her hips. He can't get enough of her, he swears even being inside her wouldn't satiate his desire for her. He wants to mark her, he wants to claim her, he wants her to be his, even if it was only for this purpose alone.

She hooks her leg around his, pulling him flush against her and feeling his hardened cock straining against his breeches as it presses to her lower stomach.

She almost gasps, disappointed but secretly pleased to discover that he was big, from what she could tell through his clothes at least.

She had hoped she could at least say he was small or that the sex sucked after it was all said and done, but she had an inkling that this was just yet another thing she would have to begrudgingly give him his due credit for.

He notices her reaction to the bulge in his pants, and smirks as he presses a wet kiss to her jaw, then rocks his hips forward to press himself against her even harder.

"This is your doing, you know," He breathes, a smirk evident in his voice.

Annoyed by his arrogant words and gesture, she digs her nails into his shoulder, a noise that's somewhere between a moan and a frustrated growl escaping her as he continues to suck on her neck, grazing the skin with his fangs.

“I’m starting to think you like having your life threatened a little too much.” She breathes.

He chuckles, lips still hovering over hers. “Only by you, darling.”

He palms at her ass cheek roughly, surely leaving a slew of intentional bruises so that she has a reminder the next morning, then smacking it - his frigid touch adding to the sting of the rough contact.

She yelps slightly, biting her lip in an attempt to stifle any noises she may make. He shakes his head, releasing her neck and bringing his hand up to trace her lips with his fingertips.

"No, no, sweetness, I want to hear that pretty voice of yours. For now, at least." He has a look as if he was planning something that instantly set her on edge - she never knew what to expect from him, especially not in this sort of circumstance.

"You're such an ass," She grunts indignantly, before he dips a finger in between her parted lips.

Almost as if on pure instinct, she sucks on his digit, swirling her tongue and laving it in her spit. His breath hitches as he stifles a pleased groan. She smirks pridefully, his finger still in her mouth.

"And yet, here we are, darling."

In rebuttal, she bites down on his finger just enough to hurt him, which causes him to hiss in pain. He shoots her a warning glance, then relaxes when he sees the amusement on her face.

“So feisty.”

He rubs her bottom lip with a second finger, a silent plea to add another into her mouth, which she promptly obliges.

She gives the second finger the same treatment as the first, her mind running wild with images of his cock in place of his fingers, how he might taste, the way it already weeps with arousal for her - it felt so wrong, yet she couldn't seem to get enough.

He pulls his fingers out of her mouth with a pop, his crimson eyes holding hers in an intense stare as he brings his still dry hand down to hook her underwear to the side, the cool breeze hitting her drenched cunt and making her suck in a breath. He makes a show of bringing the two fingers that had just been in her mouth down to rub her soaking folds, making sure that she was watching his every move.

"Fuck, you're already so wet for me." He moans, his voice low and gravelly as he slowly begins to spread her apart, the filthy sounds of her arousal like a song to his ears.

A loud moan rips through her as she throws her head back, the slightest touch embarrassingly already almost too much. Maybe it was the anticipation, maybe it was because it'd been so long since she'd been touched like this - or maybe it was just another testament to how badly she needed him. His touch.

"Rather sensitive, aren't we, pet?" He teases, dipping his head down to place a kiss to the part of her chest that was exposed by the low neckline of her shirt.

"Shut. Up." She growls, her hand gripping the nape of his neck and pulling him closer. The rumbling of his laughter echoes in her chest as his mouth stays pressed against it.

He presses wet kisses further and further down as he slowly moves his face lower, sinking to his knees in front of her.

She can't contain the gasp that escapes her as she peers down at him - his typically pristine and well groomed silvery white curls were a disaster as a result of her hands ravaging them, his eyes were dark and lidded, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Not to mention, the satisfaction that came from him being on his knees below her, knowing what he intended to do - gods below, it was almost too much to bear.

He raises her shirt higher, holding it up between her breasts and getting just a small peek of the underside of them - the temptation to rip the wretched thing off of her and completely bare her to him crossing his mind. He decides against it, unsure if she'd want to be fully exposed in case someone decided to come check on her.

He, personally, wouldn't mind any of the others finding them this way - that way they would know that he was staking his claim on her. He was well aware that he was far from the only one in the camp that had dreamt of touching her, and he planned on being the only one who gets to.

He straightens himself up so he can trail another line of wet kisses down her abdomen, stopping just above the waistband of her underwear. His eyes flick back up to hers, finding that she had been watching his every move - satisfied with how quickly she catches on to his desires, as if it were natural to her.

He hooks two fingers beneath the fabric on each of her hips, waiting for her to protest. She doesn't, instead she reaches her hand down and attempts to pull them down herself. He grabs her wrist, stopping her.

"Ah ah, allow me." He commands, his voice equal parts soothing and threatening. She drops her hand back to her side. "Good girl."

He rips the fabric down her legs, letting it pool at her ankles before he hooks an arm under her thigh and lifts it so that she steps out of them. He pushes them aside, keeping her leg lifted as he pushes her night shirt out of the way once again, revealing her drenched and throbbing cunt to him, at long last.

He practically salivates at the sight, his eyes burning trails all around it as he drinks in every inch of her newly exposed flesh. This causes her to blush for the first time during this encounter, suddenly feeling self conscious about her most intimate area. She feels the urge to cover herself, her leg instinctively moving to clench against the other. He stops her quickly, pressing her leg up even higher, stretching her already sore thigh muscles.

"Absolutely perfect. To think you’ve been keeping this all to yourself." He coos, his voice now softer, reverent, even. As if he were quietly admiring the finely crafted sculpture of a goddess on display in the foyer of a tabernacle.

With her leg now draped over his shoulder, he continues his attack of wet and hungry kisses up her leg. He toys with the knife strapped to her, running a finger along the hilt of the blade, then biting the leather strap on the innermost part of her leg, his lips brushing against the skin and causing goosebumps to prickle up.

He slowly continues trailing up to the apex of her thighs, pausing at the very top of her thigh and nipping at the plush skin.

Her arousal and frustration had started to truly boil within her, him taking his damn sweet time was beginning to piss her off all over again and she knew he was doing it deliberately. He was trying all that he could to get her to beg.

"Astarion, if you don't eat me out right now, I'm going to kill you."

She wouldn't beg, no. Threatening, though? Easy.

"Patience, darling. Good things come to those who wait."

She scoffs. "I'm starting to think you're stalling. Scared that you won't be able to live up to your reputation?" She taunts in an attempt to anger him enough to finally oblige her.

His eyes narrow, his once smug face falling into a scowl.

He quickly unsheathes the knife on her thigh, grabbing it by the blade. Her eyes widened.

"What the hells are you doing?" Her voice held a bit of unease as she watched him gently tap the tip of the blade, as if he were testing the sharpness.

He grins wickedly, his eyes flicking from the dagger back up to hers. "I'm going to shut you up. Open," he commands, bringing the hilt of the dagger up to her lips.

She shoots him an uncertain look, confused. He sighs, frustrated, then presses the hilt further until her lips parted, and she took it between her teeth.

The sun had finally dipped below the horizon, the golden light shifting to a cool blue glow, the reflection of the moon glinting off of the recently sharpened and polished blade. She hadn’t realized just how sharp Lae’zel made it, and having it so close to her face this way truthfully made her nervous.

A twisted part of her enjoyed it for that fact.

He looks up at her, the sight of the hilt of the dagger that she'd threatened him with only minutes prior, now held between her teeth both ironic and unequivocally erotic.

"Much better. Shall we try this again?"

Satisfied with the outcome of his bright idea and the muffled groan of frustration from the only one who’d been plaguing his thoughts when he was alone in his tent, he returns to his prior ministrations, starting his trail of kisses right back where he'd begun them just at the side of her knee.

He repeats the process identically to how he'd done it previously, except this time he bites the top of her thigh slightly harder, eliciting a whimper from her, nearly causing the knife to slip out of her mouth.

"Careful, pet." He warns, a slight smirk playing on the corners of his lips.

With his face still right at the crest of her thigh, cool breath fanning across her burning hot flesh, he brings his even colder fingers back up to tease her folds. She jolts at the sensation, involuntarily crawling upward onto the tree, now on tiptoe with her leg that's still on the ground. He tightens his arm around her thigh, pulling it down on to his shoulder slightly as if to warn her to stay still. She obliges, flattening her foot back down and relaxing her posture as best as she can manage, the thought of making this take even longer agonizing.

His deft fingers work her slowly, touching everywhere but where she needed him most. The sounds of her slick arousal seemed much louder now that they’d both gone mostly quiet apart from their heavy breathing, and she feels that damned blush creep back up to her cheeks once again.

She involuntarily yelps when his fingers tease her entrance, her walls instinctively clenching around nothing. She disobeys him by wriggling slightly, then realizes and quickly tries to cease her movements. He lets his thumb rest against her swollen and throbbing clit, refusing to move even an inch until she settles down.

“Look at you,” he coos. “So eager for me. I almost want to take that dagger out of your mouth and hear that sweet voice moan for me again.”

She bites down even harder into the hilt of the dagger to stifle the moan that threatens to escape her throat, certainly leaving teeth marks that she’ll have to hide in case anyone needs to borrow it later.

He chuckles, his eyes still trained on her face as he pushes ever so slightly against her entrance, his thumb pressing harder into the over-sensitive bud - savoring her every reaction to him. The way her brows knitted up, the way her glossy eyes widened, her hands clutching the fabric of her shirt and holding it close to her chest, the way the dagger shifted slightly in her mouth as her jaw clenched around it. She was a feast for his eyes and he intended to savor every bite.

Finally, he decides to show her mercy and push his fingers further in, careful to move slowly and give her time to adjust. Her eyes blow wide and her head falls back against the tree, giving him a full view of her neck that makes his mouth water.

Next time, he thinks to himself.

His fingers are just barely not too thick for her - the stretching only slightly uncomfortable and otherwise euphoric. He pumps in and out at a lazy pace at first, quickening over time as he feels her fully adjust after a while. She’s perfectly tight, her velvet walls clenching his fingers with every plunge into her depths. He can barely think straight, all rational thought having left him ages ago. All that he can think now is how badly he wishes it were his cock in her rather than his fingers - but as he’d told her, good things come to those who wait.

She feels herself creeping ever closer to her peak as his movements become more and more rhythmic and deliberate, his thumb rubbing circles around her clit as his fingers piston in and out, hitting all of the right spots and driving her wild. Her body is buzzing, her legs trembling. She wants to resist how incredible this all feels, but gods, does it feel incredible.

Everything that comes after this is a problem for later, right now, all she wants is to—

“Aah!” She yelps as he curls his fingers, the dagger slipping from her mouth and thankfully dropping to the ground beside them.

He grins, continuing his ministrations. “Are you gonna come, pet?”

She takes her bottom lip in between her teeth, scared to say yes in fear that he may stop and deprive her of her release just to spite her.

“Answer me.” He commands, his voice coming out as a low growl.

She reluctantly nods.

“Use your words. Answer me.”

“Y-yes. Gods, yes. Just… don’t stop.” She whines, trying her damnedest for it not to come out as a beg, but rather a command. It was mildly successful.

To her surprise, he speeds up the pace, pumping in and out of her hard and fast - the way she so desperately craved it. She feels herself right at the edge, her orgasm impending - he can tell, as she writhes and whimpers over him. Just as he can tell she’s about to hit the peak, he stops.

She keens at the sudden loss of friction and movement, her walls clenching down around his fingers even harder, her cunt throbbing and dripping onto his hand.

“Why…” Is all she manages to say, her breathing ragged and her chest heaving.

“I want you to come on my mouth.”

That alone could have sent her over the edge.

She nods fervently, her hips bucking forward toward his face.

He considers punishing her for being too hasty and too eager, but he couldn’t care less any more to keep up the game - he needs to taste her. He needs to devour her.

He moves his thumb, making way for his tongue to replace it. He expertly strokes his tongue across her folds, her essence sweet and tangy on his taste buds. He swipes across her clit, causing her to jerk into his mouth, a string of incoherent curses leaving her lips.

She drops the fabric of her shirt and threads her fingers through his hair once again, gripping it almost painfully. He groans against her, the vibrations of his voice against her causing her to see stars.

He lifts her shirt out of his way once again, mouth never breaking from her, and growls in frustration at the piece of fabric that kept dropping into his face. Taking his growl as a silent command, she rips the fabric over her head and tosses it aside, now completely naked and bare to him as well as the cool night air.

His eyes widened at the sight of her, finally getting a full view of her breasts and the rest of her that was previously unrevealed to him. He breaks away from her cunt for a moment, both hands moving to palm her full breasts.

“You are exquisite.”

She’d almost prefer if he’d insult her, be cruel to her, say the worst things he can think of - that way she wouldn’t have to grapple with these new feelings that are bubbling up to the surface at how generous of a lover he’s proven to be, when only minutes prior she was sure that they shared a mutual hatred for each other. Maybe he was just putting on a show for her, like he always did.

Yes. He’s putting on a show. He has to be, she thinks.

She hisses through her teeth when he finally brings his mouth and hand back to her mound, wasting no time in resuming his prior crusade to make her come, pumping his fingers at a punishing pace, his tongue circling her clit in tandem. He keeps his free hand on her breast, pinching her nipple hard, causing her to roll her hips into his face.

“That’s it, love. Take what you need.”

For fucks sake, he’s going to be the death of me.

His words, his mouth, and his dexterous fingers are a wicked combination - every single movement, every single word, every lap at her needy cunt is nearly too much for her to bear as she uses every bit of her remaining strength to keep from crumbling into a heap in the dirt.

As requested by him, she continues to rock her hips forward, grinding down onto his fingers and mouth, his fingers hitting all the right places to drive her over the edge. She grips at his shoulder, nails digging into the fabric of his ruffled evening shirt, chest heaving as she creeps ever closer once again, and silently prays he has mercy on her this time.

“Astarion, I’m—“

“I know, love. Come for me,” he says, muffled with his mouth still tongue deep in her.

As if on command, she shatters, tumbling over the edge into free fall towards the hardest orgasm she’s had in months, perhaps even years.

Her body shakes and writhes as she gushes on his tongue, but he doesn’t slow his movements, still pumping into her as she rides out her orgasm, pangs of unbridled pleasure crashing over her like tidal waves.

Her legs quiver, the leg that she was using to stand begins to buckle at the knee as all strength she’d had left from the day has finally been sapped from her body. She slowly slides down the tree into his lap, eyes closed and still reeling.

She manages to weakly tilt her head forward, looking him in the eye for the first time with new eyes - unsure what that meant for her yet. She was half sure that she still hated him. Half.

He grins at her, his own chest still heaving as he catches his breath, ruby irises lighter than before, a look in his eyes that she doesn’t quite recognize.

“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been dying to do that since the day I met you.” He says, popping his fingers into his mouth and licking her slick off.

She swallows hard at the sight, her still sore and sensitive core starting to flutter again as he licks his fingers clean.

“I still don’t like you, you know. You’ll have to do more than make me orgasm to change my mind.” She says, her tone unusually calm and amicable toward him despite her words.

“Oh darling, who said we had to like each other to do that? In fact, I think it makes it all the more thrilling.” He brings his hand up to her cheek, gently caressing it and swiping his thumb across it.

She puffs air out of her nose, a wry smile on her lips. “Who says we’re going to do that again?”

He grins, bringing his still wet lips and face closer to hers, his breath smelling strongly of a mixture of her essence, wine, and a bitter metallic smell that was undeniably blood - she assumes he hunted not too long before he joined her in the woods.

“You can hate me all you want, my sweet, but I know that nobody has ever made you feel the way that I do. It’ll only be a matter of time before you’re crawling back into my bedroll, begging for another taste.” He taunts, his voice in that same low and sultry tone he did so well, the one that he knew had the power to melt anybody right into his hands.

She narrows her eyes for a brief moment - then an idea flits into the back of her mind, a mischievous smile following suit. The game was now set, and she was ready to play.

“We’ll see who begs who first, darling.”

part two - ♡︎

#this was a wild ride #lmk if u like it hehe #astarion #astarion ancunin #spawn astarion #astarion fic #astarion fanfic #astarion smut #bg3 #bg3 fanfic #astarion x tav #astarion x f!tav #astarion x f!reader #if u squint #enemies to lovers #idk what else to tag this lol #my fics #aat

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