#WHY ISNT HE REAL????

[madwcman]

i just actually need remus to become real and then fall in love with me and be my boyfriend 😞 is that too much to ask for????

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus is my bf (REAL!!) #kiyahs daily rant about remus 🎀 #WHY ISNT HE REAL???? #i’m so obsessed with this man it’s sickening #crying sobbing throwing up #why am i so obsessed 😭 #kiyah talks a lot​‧₊˚ ✩ #remus lupin x me 🙄‼️

[opikiquu]

#he is being a good big brother #go lyney!!! gooo!!!!!!!! #★ my art #art #genshin impact #genshin art #freminet #lyney #lynette #fontaine siblings #<- i didnt know that was a tag. #i have a headcanon both lynette and freminet are taller than lyney #i donr CARE her model is shorter than his!!!! #if i dont see it it isnt real 🗣️ #lynette is sitting thats why he looks taller dw i wonr ever do it again #he deserves to be called out for the shortstack he is

[autismsupersoldier]

a non-exhaustive list of my dunmeshi cast headcanons, as well as a fun exercise in censoring genitals in creative ways. below the cut you can see a list of notes and explanations. hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed watching the anime!

important to preface:

now, lets get into it.

thanks for lookin! here are some sketches too:

some more falins because shes my favourite!

#marcilles veins are visible under her skin because i think #it would be cool if that happened for people who were powerful/experienced magic users #it would be a cool way to show it visually #btw laios binding incorrectly is just true and real in my mind you can never convince me otherwise #my boy is wearing his binder while he runs and sleeps in it. chilchuck beats him over the head with a stick. its just how it is #falin has broad shoulders and thick arms because of her protective and kind nature :-) #generally im very happy with how i drew them here #i love drawing naked bodies #esp hairy & fat ones! #i hope this helps someone feel more secure in their body #it helped me :-) #the reason why laios isnt that hairy is bc im a tboy too #and im not as hairy as id like to be #that is all #:-) #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #falin touden #marcille donato #laios touden #chilchuck tims #senshi #cw nudity #artistic nudity #nudity cw #let me know how i shld tag this

[snenbubs]

I did it. I did it and nobody stopped me. I'm unstoppable.

I love this horrible big man spider christmas tree ass guy, a bit too much. I've alr done general romantic HCs but IT WASNT ENOUGH.

... so here. Mammon (Helluva Boss) x GN reader NSFW headcannons. I need severe help, but so do you, so....

NSFW Under the cut! 18+ Only!

♡ I've seen a few people claim he'd he a lazy lover, nd whilst i see where they're coming from, i completely disagree. He's the embodiment of Greed, not Sloth! I think, if anything, he's more like an overwhelming, smothering kind of lover ykwm.

- I've said this before, and I will reiterate it, his hands are gonna be on you, all over you. Four hands, might I add. 😋

- I like to think he'd keep one pair on your hips, holding you in place as close to him as he possibly can, because he just NEEDS every inch of you and the other pair would be constantly roaming your body, finding places to squeeze or hold.

- In addition to this i think he'd like any kind of position where he can be as close to you as possible. Your presence overwhelms him and he needs all of it at once so you better be prepared to be pressed flush against his fluffy body.

- His mouth? Always on you. He likes being able to taste you, in more than just one way; biting, kissing... and more...

Also, his tongue is forked. Just thought i'd mention it. Yk. A lil fun fact for your day.

♡ In regards to biting however, i mentioned in my other HCS that he's pretty possesive and that applies here too;

- He gets jealous easy and when he gets jealous he bites harder. Its like a mark, his special mark. He wants people to see you with those bruises, hickeys and bite marks coating your pretty flesh because it means everyone knows you're his.

- If he gets jealous, and bare in mind it does not take a lot to make him jealous, expect not to be able to walk in the morning.

- I feel, due to his needy nature, he's quite a rough lover. I want to believe he tries to be gentle because there will almost definitely be a size difference between you two and you could get hurt, but he can get caught up in the moment and i think he often ends up quite rough.

- Even rougher when jealous.

♡ In general though?

- He deffo drools. You can say "ew gross" all you want but to me? its hot, and he does it, and im the one writing this so theres NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

- He definitely has a thing for master/pet relationships BUT i think he also gets a big kick out of hearing you cry out his name.

- I also don't think he's too loud during the act. He makes some noises, probably grunts and maybe a whine if your lucky, but he's mostly silent. If he has his hat on then the sound of jingling bells will probably be extremely overwhelming.

- The thing is, he has to be quiet! Because if he isn't quiet, then he can't hear the sweet sounds you'll be making. And oh, he just LOVES them. He could get drunk off of them. He DOES get drunk off of them.

- By no means though, will he shut his trap. He likes making fun of you, mocking you, making jokes and being generally mean. It's just who he is you gotta accept it.

- His voice is hot though so its a win.

- He probably has a control problem, in that he has to be the one doing everything. If you beg, he might let you take the lead for a bit but ultimately he'll take charge.

- Often though its probably just because you aren't doing things fast enough for him, he has a very high and extremely greedy libido and he knows what he wants.

- Webs. WEBS.

- He is not against tying you up with them, all you have to do is ask. A lot of time, he'll so it so that he can be ever closer to you than he already is.

- But like i said, its your word. If you give the thumbs up then he'll have you bound in no time at all. I'll leave it to your own imagination.

Thats all for now... mayhaps in future i'll do more, make a pt2 or smth but honestly i'm outta ideas.

#helluva boss x reader #Mammon HB x reader #Mammon HB x reader smut #Helluva boss x reader smut #GRRRWOOF WOOF WOOF #I NEED HIM SO BAD #WHY ISNT HE REAL

[bellinghamism]

oh.my.god.

#i cannot #jude bellingham #real madrid #WHY ISNT HE MINE

[lovnaei]

You and simon cuddling on the couch together while watching a show, your leg hitched up on his lap with his thigh in-between your legs. moving around to get "comfortable" when in reality, you just wanna hump your pretty little clit on his thigh until you explode🩷

#why isnt he real #cod smut #cod x reader #cod x reader smut #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley smut

[robinmage]

one thing i really appreciate about jinshi's character is how he has NEVER once actually had any intention of succeeding the throne. every time the idea is brought up he immediately detests it. so hes giving maomao as much as he possibly can, even though maomao has many qualms about it due to their difference in social status, but jinshi DOESNT CARE because hes NEVER cared about or wanted the status of crown prince! its been nothing but a burden to him! from his perspective the ONLY thing keeping the two of them apart are outside influences. he has no doubt within himself-- hes horribly down bad, in fact. but unfortunately his stupid JOB is getting in the way of him skipping off into the sunset with his favourite little cat

#jinshi literally maiming himself infront of the emperor and empress: “can you please fire me so i can marry the girl of my dreams” #emperor: “no. now go to the west capital relatively unsupervised with the girl of your dreams andpromise REAL HARD u wont something stupid” #also not to mention i think maomaos problem isnt that she doesnt want to marry jinshi bc she doesnt care about him-- she cares abt him A LO #which is precisely why shes convinced herself she cant marry him. she wants whats best for him and #she wholeheartedly believes that marrying her is the EXACT OPPOSITE of whats best for him. #like she has. yknow. not the prettiest of backgrounds. growing up in a brothel might do that to you #shes mentioned before- shes basically a commoner. she has her biologicaldad but hes more of a wildcard selfmade man with no real connection #and she doesnt even like him. #but she just CANNOT comprehend that someone would sacrifice so much for her and ask for nothing in return but her company #i just love them a lot your honour. #the apothecary diaries #the apothecary diaries spoilers #for the anime/manga onlies #READ THE LIGHT NOVEL #kusuriya no hitorigoto #kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers

[skitskatdacat63]

I've decided to do myself what the cowards at Aston won't. Behold.

#GAAAAAAHHHH REALLY HAPPY WITH THESE #GRRRRR I WANNA EAT HIM #not to pat myself on my own back too much but god he looks so fucking hot #woof woof woof man why isnt aston fernando miami 2004 redux not real :((( #only exists in art form :) teehee #ty for everyone who voted in my poll for this even if you didnt know it was for this! #apologies for not picking the most voted one. however...i didnt wanna draw it LOL #theres smth sexier to me about him wearing the unbuttoned shirt OKAY #was pretty fun to design the aston version of the shirt! lmk what you think #also small gripe: it sucks ive put all this work in and its probably gonna end up getting less than the poll i spent less than 10 mins on #idc that much abt notes but ugh the fact that lower effort notes tend to do better sucks :( #unless you wanna make this post more popular than the poll- be my guest :) #anyways god i though renault fernando was hot in these outfits and i obv still do but ggrrrrrr old man fernando when i get you #as i said yesterday. if he wont do well on track he might as well do well off track. so here i am. objectifying him #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2024 miami gp #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art.

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Tim and Kon the type of boyfriends to respond to declarations of love by saying " cringe" like ratio.

For ex.

Tim being overcome with sappy feelings™ for his boyfriend looks up at Kon like " hey, I love you"

Kon looks at him and lifts an eye brow and says " cringe"

But he's also holding Tim's hand so.

This exchange also works the other way!

Ex.2

Kon being over come with a warm fuzzy emotion after seeing Tim round house kick a baddie to the ground is like. " Damn I love you!"

And Tim sweaty in his robin gear glares at him from behind his domino and says " Cringe"

They take turns being the emotional one and the chronically unable to show affection one. It's balance! It's Gen Z! It's two local rat dudes macking on each other!

#i like to think tim and Kon are separately the most annoying guys people know and when they come together its worse #theyre making fun of you for not being able to ollie when they unironically have tried to skate holding hands #they still try to dress like its the 90s and not in a cool way #tims wearing like a hollister polo shirt and khakis from the gotham good will this isnt cool. #worst part is you cant tell him shit about it cuz even in that fit hes got more game then u #conner hates that guy fr thats why hes engaged to him cuz hes a real hater #timkon #dc #batman #superman #superboy #conner kent #tim drake #red robin

[dreamsy990]

some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

#doodles #kingdom hearts #roxas #axel #olette #aromantic #asexual #aroace #do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel #ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you #also not tagging soriku and namixi #i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so #anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette #i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette #so let me clarify about this comic #im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before #im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts #thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes #im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while #anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive #sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow #this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled #drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024 #btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately #schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time #i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times #alright i think thats it bye now

[personwhowrites]

König slamming his big cock into your gummy walls. Praising you for being his little cum bucket, as your eyes roll to the back of your skull. Your poor swollen clit overstimulated from who knows how many rounds. His praises becoming rougher as he slams his hips against you, telling you ‘to take it like the cum bucket you are’. But can you do? You’re just his little toy, his play thing to serve him until your body is trembling.

#cod könig #cod fandom #cod #konig smut #könig smut #perosnwhowrites #im sucker for this man 🙄 #why isnt he real

[xenussx]

HIS SMILE🙏🏻🚑

IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM SO NORMAL I SWEAR YOU GUYS…….

#ratchet my wife #my favorite old man #RATCHET #AGH SOMEONE PLEASE SEND HELP.. #I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE #WHY HE ISNT REAL… #transformers #tfa screenshots #macadams #maccadam #transformers animated #tf animated #tfa ratchet #RAHHHHHHHH

[whinesandwhimpers]

gaz spanking you while scolding you for being a brat, making you promise to be a good girl, all with that smooth fucking voice UGHHH

#literally why isnt he real its not fair #gaz x reader #i need to write the one shot im just physically incapable right now

[filurig]

i rarely ever get the Anatomy Worldbuilding Brainworm but suddenly i was struck by it bcs i had been thinking about the weirdness of basilisks and in particular how the whole Ability to change sex through shapeshifting works so. Yippe

#worldbuilding #creature lore #speculative biology #spec bio #speculative evolution #bestiary #pareidolia tag #this is why arvo is like the transiest cis trans guy ever. he was born female but has a male human form #at the same time the human form is still very different from a real human so like #despite being “cis” in that form hes still trans af. You get what i mean #also ik the anatomy here probably isnt 100% accurate or makes sense im no anatomy expert just erm. I just wanted to roughly visualize

[bestworstcase]

the perennial Tai Discourse is really interesting to track bc, speaking broadly, the two major camps are just:

those who focus primarily on ruby’s recollection of her childhood and relationship with her dad (and filter what yang says through that lens such that “i had to pick up the pieces and keep things together when i was five” gets diluted into “yang had responsibilities as a child”)

those who focus primarily on yang’s memories and her arc in v4 (and tend to just ignore or minimize the things ruby says that suggest a positive relationship with tai, in particular often just flat out disregarding how excited ruby is to spend time with or receive care packages from him)

when it’s like. yeah that’s. literally the point. that ruby and yang had profoundly different childhoods.

they’re half-sisters in a story about fairytales and only one of them had a decent dad. rwby is unsubtly interrogating the fairytale archetype of the Evil Stepmother/Dead Mother with raven (not dead, but absent) and summer (villain, presumed dead) and that archetype quite literally requires its counterpart archetype of the Neglectful Father who remarries and tacitly participates in the Evil Stepmother’s abuse of his child from his first wife

tai is as much an exploration of the fairytale Neglectful Father as raven is the Dead Mom and summer is the Evil Stepmother. that’s. a core aspect of the narrative surrounding the rose xiao long family.

the Dead Mom often reincarnates as a bird or tree or similar spirit to watch over her child; rwby turns this on its head by reimagining the Dead Mom as an absent one. raven watches over yang in her bird form because she is too afraid to be meaningfully present; she isn’t dead, but her absence in yang’s life is so complete that she might as well have been, and the fairytale tension between the Dead Mom’s death and her lingering presence is explored through these cramped and inadequate half-measures raven takes in trying to have it both ways.

the Evil Stepmother is a vehicle for making the fairytale heroine miserable; she has no identity nor any reason for her monstrous treatment of the child who is not her own. rwby, again, flips this over with the mystery of summer rose. who was she, really? did anyone know? she was a good stepmom—she loved yang like her own daughter—but now she’s gone. she left. she never came back. she lied. she joined salem. why? what expectations did she feel on her shoulders? what broke her? why did she do the things she did?

lastly, the Neglectful Father must either be a love-blind fool or a weak, contemptible man with no love or loyalty to his own blood; he forgets his motherless child at the behest of his new love. rwby turns this on its head too by rendering tai as a human being—messy, flawed, fully-realized. wicked stepsisters exist for the purpose of being spoiled by the Evil Stepmother in juxtaposition with her cruelty to the first child, who is kind and good because she remembers her mother’s lessons. the fairytale children of these archetypes function as repetitions of their mothers. rwby makes that the central conceit of its spin on the Neglectful Father: what if he loved both the Dead Mom and the Evil Stepmother so much and then both of them broke his heart in mirrored ways, leaving him a single father to both of their children? if he sees raven in yang and summer in ruby, how does that color his relationships with both girls? if you take away the Evil Stepmother but not her daughter, does the Neglectful Father remember his first child? or are people more complicated than that?

and with all three, the narrative engages with these one-dimensional archetypes by constructing complicated, multi-faceted characters on top of them; by tossing the simplistic moral didacticism of a fairytale and presuming, first, that everyone is trying their best, that bad choices can be made from good intentions, and that no one gets it right all the time, or even most of the time. love and profound dysfunction can coexist.

ruby and yang had very different childhoods. that’s the narrative foundation the whole rose xiao long family is built on, because they’re a deconstruction of the archetypal fairytale blended family.

#this is also why every permutation of ''tai isnt rubys Real Dad'' is nonsense btw. ruby being yang’s half-sister instead of step-sister is #on purpose. the condemnation of the archetypal fairytale Neglectful Father is he mistreats his own blood in favor of another man’s children #and rwby uses his blood relation to both his daughters to question that framing; #the dynamic doesn’t become any Less dysfunctional if the favored child is equally the father’s by blood

[infiniterotting]

david's "i know baby" ☹️☹️☹️

#in the sick vid #this man is gonna be the death of me #i love him #WHY ISNT HE REAL #redacted audio #redacted david