#What?? No abuse this time??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.

#What?? No abuse this time???

inkskinned · 7 months

Text

hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

10K notes · View notes

teaboot · 2 months

Text

There is an odd sort of desperation in trying to make up for being an awful, critical, abusive, shitty teenaged caregiver by being patient and careful and better when you're all grown up

I was a kid, and it shouldn't have been my job to be a good dad for you, but it was my job, and I fucked up, and I wish that you'd tell me you hate me for it because then at least I'd know you understand that you deserved better

And maybe if you could hate the person who I was, I'd know you'd be safe from it happening again, now that this better version of me isn't always close

#I was their favourite for a long time #Till things got worse and I couldn't keep it up #And in hindsight it made sense #Objectively I was doing my best with what I had #But that doesn't make it better for you #It never should have been like that #Blegh #Sorry #Venting #Abuse CW #Messed up families

500 notes · View notes

seagreenstardust · 2 months

Text

“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”

Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.

His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.

Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all

#perfect stories about perfect people who never do anything wrong are usually boring #stories about growth and mistakes and redemption and forgiveness and progress are lit #bkdk #bakudeku #the quote is from cinema therapy on YouTube btw #love them so much #they look at media and talk about what is and isn’t good from a real life human perspective #and boy did this quote slap me in the face #anyway this is my thought literally any time anyone says something about shipping Izuku with his abuser #if he was still being abused then I get it #but he’s not #and saying he needs protection from Katsuki is honestly doing his character dirty #and this is not to say that every situation with an abuser and a victim should turn out romantic #obviously not #the world is not black and white and neither are people #sometimes you have to get yourself out and never look back and that is valid and healthy #but sometimes you’re talking about two boys in a manga who literally cannot stop thinking about how good and incredible the other is #bro I get it #surface level chapter/episode 1 Katsuki is literally the worst #but his glow up has been literally meteoric

415 notes · View notes

bonefall · 5 months

Note

⭕️Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?⭕️

I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.

But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom I’ve known portrayed Crowfeather’s neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: “Wow, that’s pretty bad. That’s…actually abusive.” I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.

Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didn’t know this part of Crowfeather’s character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeather’s abuse on Breezepelt I haven’t mentioned and/or don’t know right now as well if you want.

I’m SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!

OH LET'S GOOOO

Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.

The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.

As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.

BIG POST. Glossary;

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.

But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,

From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.

Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.

He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.

(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)

As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.

In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;

Crowfeather.

Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.

(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)

So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.

We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.

The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.

When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,

Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.

And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.

All this to point out,

Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.

We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.

ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.

In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.

Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.

They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;

They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.

When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...

Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.

But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?

Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.

Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.

Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.

The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.

Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).

Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.

I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.

In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.

At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.

EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.

Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.

The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.

And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,

And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"

Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.

This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.

It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.

It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.

Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.

That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.

As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.

But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.

Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.

When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.

When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."

Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.

Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.

We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;

The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.

This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.

At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.

A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.

Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.

In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.

But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.

Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!

(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)

#This is headcanon territory here. But one day I realized I can read Breezy-P with BPD and he became a blorbo.#Never been able to unsee it and it massively endears him to me... Breeze Pelt Disorder...#I actually REALLY hate how his arc was resolved and strongly feel that he should have progressed into a bigger problem #But I equally strongly feel that being redeemed is the ideal ending for him #so if it was between him being pure evil/redemption death or the awful halting we got at the end of oots....#I'd pick the halting over him being pure evil or a redemption death.#I think BB made me REALLY fall in love with him. He's my sweet cheese. My good time boy.#Bones when he sees an angry black cat: ''i can fix you. first i must break you. but then i can fix you''#Like. what i dislike about where he went is that even if your anger issues came from abuse. you STILL are responsible for your actions #but in the end getting that Shitty Dad Approval fixes him. Not his own growth or self-reflection.#it feels like BREEZE gets his agency stripped away for HIS ABUSIVE DAD'S character arc #It retcons in a reason why Breezepelt is not still a problem and then he faded into the background.#while Crowfeather continues to get supporting roles and every now and then Breeze now looks at him fondly #BLECH.#Crowfeather #Breezepelt #Abuse #Child Abuse #Warrior Cats Analysis #And now you know anon!!

544 notes · View notes

txttletale · 2 years

Text

[pouring myself a drink from a fancy pitcher] so like it’s simplifying to the point of uselessness to say ‘reading comprehension’ is why people say shit like ‘lolita is problematic!’ because clearly the salient points to consider what aren’t they comprehending and why? and i think it probably lies in an unwillingness to approach critically the cultural understanding of ‘the child predator’ as someone that exists wholly outside society, someone who is an obviously deviant Other that enters from the fringes in order to commit terrible crimes--and so when nabokov puts those crimes into the person of a well-spoken, well-read, ‘respectable’ family man, they respond by saying ’well, this must be a favorable portrayal of child abuse, putting its justifications in the mouth of someone so authoritative and respectable is obviously apologetics’--because they’re unable or unwilling to critically confront the actual idea presented here, that ‘the child predator’ exists within society and is in fact often enabled and abetted by society.

humbert anchoring his attraction to children in the mythology and literature of the Western Canon says, ‘this is embedded in our culture, these are not the acts of an Otherized interloper’--but if you cannot put yourself at a critical distance and dispel the myth of that interloper of course you will read that and say ‘well since all these things are self-evidently good and cannot be the sites of violence, tying humbert to them is nabokov inviting this deviant external evil into the fold of what’s good and accepted’. when of course the call has been coming from inside the house! the entire time!

[i take a sip of my drink--fruity, airy, with hints of earth] so yeah ig to talk seriously about the dynamics of abuse we need to divorce ourselves entirely from the discursive fiction of the ‘child abuser’ as a marginal figure so that we can honestly assess how abuse can be reproduced in the key pillars of our culture and society. but that’s hard so let’s all keep arguing about a vague notion of ‘reading comprehension’ until the earth explodes amen brother [i pour you a drikn from my pitcher and it’s just room temperature coca cola]

#child abuse cw #shoput out to tumblr user gothicenjoyer for reminding me that htis book exists and its good #every time osmeone makes a post about reading comprehension even though i usually agree i think they should be imprisoned i na glass box #and asked 'what are they not comprehending and why?'#this would fix all critical discussion of lolita and nabokov on this bad website forever i think #best of

6K notes · View notes

jamiesfootball · 9 months

Text

Actually I will say this in regards to Beard, Wembley, and James Tartt Sr

I think Beard After Hours really shows how much the tone of Ted Lasso is seen through framing lens of Ted himself. Even if Ted says the story wasn’t really about him, the thematic weight of the show is absolutely about Ted. And Beard After Hours may be a crazy hallucinatory version in its self, but it’s still basically our only glance into this world when it’s not actively being Ted’s World.

And i think it being Ted’s World is why at Wembley, we only see the implication of violence. It’s always been the undercurrent when Jamie tells people about his dad - that he pushed him to dominate, that he’s a dick - but in that locker room scene? Man. Despite the show avoiding using the word ‘abuse’, everything from the acting to the staging to the dialogue fucking SCREAMS the impending threat of immediate violence from the top of the scene onwards.

I don’t think I have ever seen anyone disagree on the reading of that scene. The way Jamie tells him ‘don’t talk to me like that’ — we all agree that that’s something he learned from Dr Sharon. We are all in agreement, after watching him punch his dad, that it was the first time he’s ever fought back. And we all believe it, that when James got up saying ‘you can have that one for free’ that the threat was immediate and very real.

But before it can reach that point it’s cut off. Beard pulls James away. It’s a tense, hard scene to watch, but the actual violence shown is very minimal.

And then we get to Beard After Hours, where James has followed Beard out of Ted’s world, and we see the actual violence that just as easily could’ve taken place, and likely has before, in a world where Ted Lasso was not the lens with which we viewed things.

#beard after hours #coach beard #james tartt #jamie tartt #ted lasso #special shout out to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia because I think what they’ve done with the word ‘implication’ is the most subversive #aspect of that show #it has literally ruined the word for me it has neutered it’s ability to hide otherwise dark subjects #under the word ‘implication’. because Sunny made the word ‘implication’ as bad as the words it was hiding #but that is another essay for another time #abuse cw

883 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 6 months

Text

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face #but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me #while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning #while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep #and then she was like - ur just like my abuser #bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights #and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child #i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off #like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend #pushed me down in the fucking hallway #but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced #bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE #i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED #godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic #i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.

754 notes · View notes

mitskijamie · 2 months

Text

So like. Jamie comes to watch one of Phoebe's matches, and she completely eats shit the entire time. Can hardly hold onto the ball for two seconds, trips over her own feet more than once, shoots twice and misses both times, passes to the wrong person, etc. and her team is just completely annihilated. Like. 0-7 annihilated. Demolished

As soon as time is called, she immediately walks off the pitch in tears and goes to Roy, who of course picks her up in her wet, muddy kit and kisses her forehead and tells her not to worry, there's always next week, she did him proud going out there and giving it everything she had, etc.

And Phoebe looks so small and innocent and pitiful, crying and cold and wet in her tiny little kit, and she's already so disappointed in herself and heartbroken over the score and all she wants is comfort and warmth and Roy gives her that without even thinking about it because she's a fucking child and it's a fucking game. And she knows he'll pick her up and comfort her so intrinsically that she doesn't hesitate a single moment.

Jamie just watches them and thinks about all the hours he spent crying inconsolably in locker rooms after losses, so anxious he'd throw up, stalling, not wanting to leave because he knew his father would be waiting for him when he did. Knowing there would be no comfort until he could see Georgie again.

And seeing it from the other side - being the adult in the situation - just gives him this renewed wave of fury and disgust for his father because how could anyone. How could anyone look at a precious, defenseless little child in that state, crying and desperate for comfort, and beat and berate them until they bled and cried and begged for forgiveness. Over a fucking game. How could you even think to do that. How could anyone.

#oc #tw child abuse #people always talk about growing up and understanding why your parents did what they did but I feel the opposite #the more time i spend with children as an adult the less i understand how anyone could put their hands on a child #jamie tartt #roy kent #phoebe o'sullivan #james & jamie

281 notes · View notes

merp-blerp · 4 months

Text

I know it's late to say, but I hope that Hbomb's video will encourage people to not only cite their sources but also have a good source to begin with. Don't tell me Snow White is 14 years old and then show a screenshot of a featured snippet from Google that leads back to Screenrant.com. Don't tell me Judy Garland was forced to take drugs and smoke 80 cigarettes a day by MGM and have your source be social osmosis or "Hundreds of other videos say so!" Where's that info from? Does it's source truly make sense as a source? Are there more reliable routes for sources to take outside of looking online, like reading books about the subject from people involved or seasoned/trusted in the topic? I know "Google is free", but that doesn't mean it's always good for research. Try Google Scholar at least...

#the way the source for the snow white fact is an old outline of the film from 1934 apparently #the film went through so many changes between 1934 to 1937 #her age was clearly just left unsaid by the time the film was released #and no the grimm bros ver. doesn't factor into what her age in the film would be—disney took many liberties from the source material #and how would it make sense for Judy to smoke 80 cigs while working—her break time probably wouldn't even be long enough to smoke 80 cigs #not to mention she was staring in a musical where she had to have a clear voice unaltered by the amount of scratchiness 80 cigs would cause #and judy's mom began her abuse of prescription drugs not mgm #think if the facts you hear make sense #plagiarism #misinformation #hbomberguy #plagiarism and you(tube)#plagiarism and youtube #james somerton #iilluminaughtii #internet historian #disney #snow white #snow white and the seven dwarfs #the wizard of oz #the wonderful wizard of oz #judy garland

288 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

storishh

Storishh

ataamohmmadmomin

Ataamohmmadmomin

palerem-nants

Palerem-nants

cherrybomb02250801

Sidney Wu

donnablouse4

The Journey of Bigum 572