#Yea its ugly but i wanted to draw it anyway

[howlingaround]

Little Cousin Dodo on an adventure

#Faction Paradox #My Art #Yea its ugly but i wanted to draw it anyway #Not happy how it turned out but maybe i will redo it with colours when i get good at art #Also i hid the rest under the cut because it might upset some people but i dont know what trigger warnings should be used for that thing?

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I’ve spent the past few days eating up all the Yves content I could find on your blog he’s just so perfect oh my god??? I don’t know how to put it but he sounds like the type who’d always have the best posture and the way he walks would feel feathery.

I did not see this question from the gazillion asks I read but if something similar has been asked before you can ignore this.

How would Yves be with an artist reader who mostly has time for him but completely becomes detached for hours or sometimes days while working on a drawing? Sorry if it’s too specific you can go with different scenarios too.

Also sorry if I randomly drop a fanart of him one of these days

oh man i would be honoured to receive a fanart of yves and hell yea i love yves thanks for reading thru the madness, yea hed like walk so fluidly n shit its like unreal

but anyways getting to da meat:

He would be happy if you have a lot of time to spare for him. Yves would never take a single second for granted and he will cherish every moment with you.

Through his observation and your own assurance, he is secure in the relationship. So he wouldn't mind you disappearing into your room for days on end to complete an art piece. He will let himself in to provide you your meals or do parallel work; he will bring his laptop over and do his own thing while you do yours.

There is an invisible timer that dictates when you should go to the bathroom, eat, rest, or sleep. If you're cooperative when he greets you with a kiss and reminds you to come to bed, eat dinner or to relieve yourself after an entire day of not visiting the toilet once, he will continue to use that method. He doesn't mind having to babysit you for ages, Yves actually likes it.

He would take pictures of your progress. When you start to think that your work looks horrendous, Yves will show you the photos of your earlier stages. Praising you for how far you've come, telling you that he personally thinks it's beautiful. But he is in no way a pure 'yes man', it depends on your goals. If you want to create photorealistic paintings or drawings, he will provide the best constructive criticism on how to improve your proportions. You can simply describe what you want to create, Yves could be your muse if you want him to. He is willing to stay in a singular, muscle-straining pose for hours if you ask him to. Or, he could gather reference materials for you. Yves does have a strong background in photography too. No concept is too absurd for him to capture or even sketch.

However, if you react negatively to his reminders, such as harshly shoving him away or screaming at him to leave you alone, Yves will be resorting to reality bending. Depending on how much you hurt him, he will either make you cry 'on your own' by manipulating you into thinking that your work is terrible no matter what you do. You can't accuse him of saying derogatory remarks, because he wasn't even in the room. You shooed him out earlier.

He messes with the lighting to make your artwork 'ugly' in your eyes. Yves toggles with the humidifier or dehumidifier to make it harder to work with your art medium. The temperature in Yves's studio either seems to be sweltering or freezing. But the thermostat says otherwise. Either way, you can't create in these atrocious conditions. So you give up and retire for the day.

Everything will be back to normal tomorrow, but if you pay closer attention, you will start to feel upset over your artwork every three hours. Specifically, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, and inevitably give up by 10pm. You would only have the urge to continue after enjoying breakfast with him past 7am. Strange, don't you think?

During your breaks, you would automatically seek Yves out for lunch, tea time, and dinner. He will not visit if you express your extreme displeasure with his presence while you work, Yves gives you the 'freedom' to choose to meet him in his office. He is always there if you need him.

Regardless, in the end, you will never fail to appreciate your own work no matter how tough the journey was. Yves ensures that you know your creation is valuable. He is supportive of your passion and is willing to finance any and all of your essential (and nonessential) materials. You could even ask him for advice, unlocking a previous chapter of his life where he used to paint under a pseudonym, for the wealthy, the enthusiastic, and the eccentric. Best to keep your mind open and not undermine him in anything, or else you might miss out on fascinating Yves lore. He wouldn't bring these up on his own if you never asked. It's always a good thing to learn from someone much older than you are.

Your jaw would be on the floor if you knew that his old canvases were now retailing for billions of dollars at auctions. But he deems it unnecessary for you to learn of that, all you need to know is Yves can draw human hands wonderfully and accurately in any pose, in under five minutes with no reference.

#yandere male #yandere concept #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere x you #tw yandere #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader #oc yves

[stiffyck]

Hi stiff!! I was writing this as a comment but I think it’s a better ask. It’s very long and I will not be upset if you don’t answer! :3

I think part of peoples aversion to it is that it doesn’t conform to the style people are used to seeing online by popular artists. There’s this sorta phenomenon I’ve noticed where people tend to move their style towards a very cartoon/anime ish style with little variation because it’s pretty and that’s what people/algorithms like. People gravitate moreso if they intend on selling their art though.

So, when someone has a stylistic choice that doesn’t really fit that mould people find it “weird”. Exaggerated features (or in this case and many others like, a feature people just have???) are often seen as ugly or strange. An example of this is the person on TikTok who drew characters with big foreheads and lower eyes and got bullied off the platform for it! Another example could be “the tumblr art style” where commentary channels bullied artists who drew any minority ever or “ugly” features. It really exemplifies to me how online culture (especially on western apps) views western standards of beauty as the only way people can be beautiful. And why, in their mind, would someone create art that isn’t beautiful in that way unless they’re trying to be weird or make a statement? When, in reality, the beauty is in that they’re drawing what they see, what they want to see, and what they think is beautiful. Without diversity in what we consider beauty there is no beauty.

In this case it also feels a bit. Weird. To have the big nose be such a big issue. I don’t see people getting mad at hooked nose scar? How is this any different? There is nothing different about the way you draw scar now and the way you drew him before aside from that. You’ve always drawn him with body hair and fat and with these details that really just. Humanize him. And I think the point I’m trying to make here is that drawing people with big noses or crooked eyes or acne scars isn’t bad or weird and only adds to your art. It only makes you a better artist and I’ve genuinely watched you improve really really fast as you’ve drawn these characters with so much body diversity. Anyway. Big nose scar sweeeeep

honestly yea. sometimes when i see people draw certain characters it almost feels like theyre afraid of making them "unattractive" if you know what i mean? like i dont know how else to describe it but its really weird.

making their nose smaller, giving female characters bigger eyes and fuller lips, drawing only skinny characters, drawing older people with less wrinkles then they actually have or should have etc. and like people can draw whatever they want of course but tbh i see those "unattractive" parts as beautiful.

like i genuinely think wrinkles are pretty. i think big noses, hooked noses, small noses, crooked noses or just any kind of noses are beautiful. i think someones lips dont have to be full to look pretty. i think fat people and skinny people and just all kinds of people are beautiful. acne scars and and skin markings of any kind are beautiful.

idk just all those things and imperfections even make people beautiful to me.

like i find diversity beautiful and its kinda sad that some people dont see it that way? not everyone is skinny and buff, not all women will have the perfect hourglass figure or full lips etc.

those body types are beautiful too of course but sometimes i feel like people should see beauty in other body types and features as well.

anyway thank you for the ask it was very sweet and i do agree with you <3

#stiff talk #asks

[maoam]

I'm starting to wonder if there was any need for me to panic at the release of this novel. Whenever I see a panel, sasuke looks as if he is ignoring suckura 98% of the time (I mean he does in canon but i thought they would change that in this novel, at least a bit), the prisoners seem to show more interest in her than he does, he always seems displeased or even... annoyed? (Maybe its the way they draw his expressions that make him look like that) Suckura acts more like a 14 yr old girl than a mature woman (Shes not mature in canon but you'd think that they would write her to be good in her own novel). On top of that, Suckura is drawn ugly a lot of the time (I'm not saying this cause of my hate for her, I genuinely think she looks bad).

If a novel like this got released for my ship I would not consider it a win. Isn't she meant to be a mature, smart, sexy girlboss that takes no rubbish from anyone? Why is she acting so ridiculous? Why is sasuke not showing much emotion towards her? Like i said before, i thought this novel was to make them look good? Like yea, the whole novel is rubbish but i thought they would show sasuke caring for his 'wife' more than he does in canon, in this novel his expression towards her is always indifferent. They don't act like a couple in their own novel. And they're drawn ugly on top of that. I think sasuke said some rubbish like 'do a married couple need to be with each other all the time?'. Like HUH? Doesn't sound like you miss her.

It's not really a win for ss is it? It just made suckura look dumb (displaying the uchiha crest and going 'omg, he must'av used earth style jutsu to make this', like girl WHAT?), immature (sasuke was injured and she wants to play peekaboo), and the whole thing just makes them even look more like they're not in love (On sasuke's part anyway). The way she was blushing when she received the ring reminds me of a schoolgirl getting her first kiss, not like a couple that have been with each other for a long time that care and love each other ( and the way sasuke just gave it to her and was like 'wear it', no smile or emotion, reminds me of my mom when she buys me clothing I don't like but still says 'wear it'. He also looks freaked out when she holds her hand up to view it).

Sorry, this was a mouthful. Me freaking out of the release of this rubbish had been for nothing, in fact, it dragged ss through the mud even more.

I also don't get why they make Sakura so unlikeable in it.

She insults Tsunade in it (which is not out of character for her but again, I thought this manga would try to make her look better).

She is dumb and wears the Uchiha crest undercover.

She acts like a little girl, actually worse. She's blushing like crazy over the ring made out of dirt. Like isn't she already married to Sasuke anyway... why is she acting like he's senpai?

She's playing peek-a-boo with an injured Sasuke, like hello? Even if she were a teenager that would be cringy.

Also it still doesn't change the fact Konoha wives do wear wedding rings, so Esaka just did not do her research or she tried to bullshit.

And again I don't know if the artist just doesn't know how Sasuke is supposed to look when happy or what, but it does look odd. Sasuke is looking at Sakura like she's a weirdo (which she is, but again I thought this was supposed to make SS look good).

The manga makes Sasuke look like he's being held hostage or something. Like he looks like 😐 or like there's no life in him lol. And Sakura does look kind of ugly, I agree, and I don't even think she looks ugly in the original manga. But in this manga she just looks cringe.

I mean it's not canon and if I was a fan of Sakura I wouldn't want it to be canon because what?? It will make people mock her more if anything.

#anon #anti ss

[iwaasfairy]

Fae fae when did you learn to draw digital? Like do you have any tips I’ve been practicing but honestly it’s so hard haha

I remember sometime early 2021 I think you did a lot of haikyuu art and it was amazingggg wow

-🪐 anon

fAE FAE pLS dgusgfus I LOVE THAT??? heLP but uhmm honestly i think the main reason why my art looks better now is because i've been practicing my basics a lot? and like, its a constant battle to get better and hate your old art yk,, but i'm glad i did it and i can't wait to see how much i'll improve in the future! BUT! as for practicing tips, i would recommend splitting up exactly what you want to tackle first.

digital drawing is a very different skill than sketching. coloring is a very different skill. backgrounds are a skill in itself. drawing bodies,, etc etc etc,, and it was really frustrating to draw sometimes bc it feels like they all go hand in hand? but splitting them up and practicing solely on that- can really help make it feel more doable yk

also drawing on paper is v helpful to me personally. get urself a practice sketchbook, even tho they are two separate skills they kinda are tied together. if you improve one it will also show in the other

and yEA i did do some art in 2021 that i was really proud of. but i do gotta say looking back, those arts took me like 72 hours and so much references that it always felt extremely overwhelming and scary to draw. i like them a lot still, but i dont remember finding it very fun to draw back in 2021

and sometimes it's embarrassing for me to look back at old art and not shudder in shame, but the fact is,, that i was happy with my drawings back when i made them. he reason i'm not happy with them anymore is bc i've practiced, and become better, yk? for fuck sake, atsuko used to look like this (left) and now he looks like that (right)

be a little kind to yourself. it's hard to admit that you can be good at and suck at something at the same time. your improvement will be directly linked to how often you can stomach to be bad at something tbh hahahah i stopped coloring the way i used to in 2021 because i loved doing it but i actually sucked at it. and im still in the middle of practicing coloring, and most of what i draw is ugly and i hate it,, but thats okay. i hopefully will find value in it once i start noticing some improvement

anyway sorry for the ramble the point is, find your weak points and target them. and then, practice. practice practice practice. dont believe these tiktok artists who say "oh i started drawing in 2021" and bust out the most amazing portraits in the history of ever. that isn't the reality for most people;

#i just realized i didnt even answerthe first q: so 2015 is when i got my tablet #i only drew like 3 times a year back then bc of phone addiction #i think i started drawing a liiittle more in 2018-2020 #and then bc of my friends encouragement mainly 2021 had more art #my areas of improvement were 1) more complex body positions #(i used to only draw bodies standing bc i couldnt draw anything else) #2) hands and feet #3) coloring #and im still working on all of those but i'm having a lot of fun #honey mail #🪐 nonnie #im sorry i rambled so much itS late my brain is poop

[zhuhongs]

Ah yes, space. I’ve always lived my life thinking that i was the type of person that didn’t really take up much space. Physical size aside, I had always lived in rather small places. Well small compared to the average american. I ate so little, did so little, and consumed really so little compared to my peers. When people talked about how compact Taiwan and most East Asian cities were, i figured space and size would be no problem. But even with how tiny i thought I was I realized that westerners, especially were raised used to a certain degree of space that just didn’t exist here unless you were very rich or lived in the countryside. Like I’m used to sharing a room but i’ve always lived in a situation where i was home a lone alot. So I could go in the living room and sprawl out all of my stuff and have a large space to exist in. Even though it was small compared to most Americans it was rather large. I had no clue, I never had that sort of perspective. Or if I was walking around I always sorta expected to have a big sidewalk to walk around on and to be far away from everything. Or if I wanted to listen to music I didn’t need to use headphones, or if i walked around with a drink it wasn’t a big issue. But here you really can’t carry much around with you, or if you do you need to be careful about those around you, because every space is shared. Its things like being in a small classroom and dropping your stuff because the desk is too small to fit all of our books, pens and everything. Or things like buying food on the street and expecting to eat it when you get back home because theres nowhere to sit. If you sit on the side of the road and eat you will very likely spill unless you are very careful. And I was never a very careful, graceful person even back in the US when I had so much space afford to me. So being here right now I often feel very embarrassed about how much space I take up. Like I know obviously there’s nothing wrong with that, obviously we all deserve space, but it’s more embarrassing how visibly Western i am. Like i’ve gotten adjusted to this aspect of living in Taipei quite a bit but man, somedays it really gets to me. Like i’m such a disorganized and clumsy person, those are not sins by any means but man do I feel strange about it. Like I wish I could just be better at living in a more organized, well planned out way. But everything I do feels sloppy and like it messes up the people around me. I shouldn’t care about that, I should only are about me but when it’s a constant feeling, I can’t help but notice it. It makes me realize how the US is so different from a lot of the world.

I feel like this lack of space affects me a lot more than i realize. I get really frustrated about it sometimes. Like I want to goplaces and do things but like I feel like it’s so inconvenient to eat or to go study or go out and draw and as such all I really do sometimes is stay on my phone and it’s so… yea. I’ve been going through a massive art block recently too. It feels like nothing I draw looks good, or I can’t bring myself to make any art because I can’t allow myself to be messy and occupy an ugly space in my sketchbook. I want it all to be beautiful but since it isn’t, i just don’t draw and don’t draw and as of recent the only thing I do is write in my journal. And I love writing too but sometimes I think that too much introspection is a bad thing for me and it makes me more miserable than happy. I just want to have the space to exist, or to get rid of the part of my that is embarrassed to be myself in the presence of others. But I’m still bothered by it, and being here has def exacerbated that fear I’ve always had of being too much. This isn’t to say that Taipei is a bad place, its great. It wasn’t healthy for me to have this fear anyways, if I stayed in the US I’d def still have this latent tendency to make myself small, but now I moreso need to learn to accept myself as it is. My issues are just being pointed out to me because I can no longer have the advantage of knowing my surroundings to a T. Now I’m in a new place and I can’t hide from myself anymore. So I have to lay it bare and make peace with it. That’s good but it’s just a bit miserable. But i’ll be okay. I’ll figure it out. I just need to verbalize it and none of my friends are picking up and I don’t want to sit at my desk and physically write so this one will go onto the internet for everyone to see.

#🐌.txt #this was prompted by me getting on the bus with all my stuff and just feeling so unomfortable and yea... but its good. #i wanted to stay at starbucks but I just didn't have all my art stuff so I couldn't draw properly so now i'm just home and i'll make it work

[davekat-sucks]

Hi im that anon, ok i had assumed she had a big ass because Caliborn had said exactly "when the female rump starts getting more mileage out of its widenss attribute". I also had assumed so because of that one drawing of her with huge hips in game over before Jake took the sword for her. Now yea it's pretty hypocritical of me to use one thing Caliborn said but not the other but he had stated he found her attractive through antagonistic means. You know who else finds Jane physically hot? Dave, Roxy, Gamzee, Jasperosesprite, and probably Dirk. None of those characters ever mentioned finding fat people attractive once, now im not saying fat people are ugly or a thing everyone even thinks about when it comes down to attraction but unless these characters all got a thing for chubby or fat people i think they would have said so, no one here ever said it was for her personality. Idk about the diet argument because Dirk drank nothing but soda and only had a small square to run around on and roxy is never given a beergut despite her alcoholism. Ask for the Dirk titty grab, yea that dudes a creep (still ship it anyway) lol but the sexual harrassment gets played up for a joke which is whatever but damn Jane's got a chunk of scenes being objectified. Anyways this whole rant is like pretty gay and weird in retrospect and it makes me think of that one sped up gif of that black kid facing forward and talking, but yea this is no big deal if someone draws Jane fat, like if they're reasoning comes full stop from Caliborn calling her fat, the pesterquest sprite, her baking, and that Vriskagram pic of her then thats fine and fair but there are also plenty of examplesof her being busty. It wouldn't even be unfair to say im reaching here, either way people want to fuck Jane still

Then it should be fine if others depict Jane as skinny or skinny with large tits and the person she is shipped with (Dave, Roxy, Dirk, Jake, Gamzee, etc) still finds her hot. No one is fatphobic or anything. Which means any sprites here I use for Jane when I post ships involving her should be fine, right?

The same applies for other characters Terezi or Feferi that have a recent fanon of fat depiction.

#Jane Crocker #Homestuck #Homestuck fandom #Pesterquest #Namco High

[hinamie]

hi hina! i hope you've been well 🩵 for the art asks: 5, 6, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23 🎨🖌️🖼️

Mariam !!! It's so good to hear from you I hope you've been well also <3 <3 <3 this will get long

5. Anything you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

oooooh I've had an idea in my head for an s/e piece inspired by visuals from the blood sweat and tears mv for like 5 years but no matter how hard I throw myself at it I can never get it to look right so i've just been waiting until i manage to catch lightning in a bottle i guess :< (((I also found a few notes in an old "to draw" folder from like 2 years ago that include but are not limited to: jjk band au with guitarist brothers yuuji+sukuna/bassist megu/drummer nobara; gojo in crocs. ))))

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

HHHHH its the same crowd as usual i am so hides face in hands bc they intimidate me /pos :'))))) vacuumchan, ohprcr, gloomyhome, trickywagon, meru90 to name a few ANYWAY RUNNING HIDING

15. Biggest artist pet peeve?

this is a tough one im such a hater and everything inconveniences me ,,, when the perfect csp brush costs money >:C,, when u cant find reference from this One Specific Angle >:C,, when u dont realize youve merged the wrong layer until you've been working for hours and all of a sudden your folders are out of order and its a mess >:C SPEAKING OF MERGING LAYERS hot take i think that they should invent a way to let u merge layer modes without converting them all to the same type. let me put my multiply with my glow dodge !!! cowards.

16. What’s the most daunting part of your process?

rendering :') so much of it is trusting the process and there are so many ugly phases that make u wonder if u were ever good at art to begin with

17. What inspires you?

hdsj i mean im a fanartist so i think it goes without saying that I'm mainly inspired by the content I like ,, but i also am very inspired by fashion !!!! saw a guy walking the other day with a hoodie that said CASH FOR SOULS | COLD HARD CASH | CA$H4SOULZ.com and i had to take a picture of it like a creep bc tht + Sukuna ??? hello??? anyway yea ive got a pinterest board dedicated to insp-y clothes and a notes folder dedicated to jotting down cute outfits I see in public

18. Do you have any larger projects you’d like to pursue?

I've always wanted to do speedpaints ! but even more than that I want to do something aNYTHING with my ocverse but alas...time.....planning....plot.. so in the meantime they simply live in my head bouncing around like globs of wax in a lava lamp

19. Favourite character(s) to draw?

megumi jjk gojo jjk sukuna/yuuji jjk kotori love live rina love live ichigo tokyo mew mew + shiro n eden from My Brain ,,, im crying the duality of my fav chars is either feral shounen twink or idol/magical girl and eden is both simultaneously actually

22. When is your prime time to work on your art?

usually mid to late afternoon but it depends on the season because it gets so HOT in my room in the warm months which I dread >:( How it works is if I start in mid-late afternoon then I'm able to hit my stride and draw basically through the entire evening (also because of the aforementioned Heat I vastly prefer drawing in fall/winter because that means I don't have to evacuate my room at 4pm sdfhdgshd)

23. Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what’s your favourite?

I have to have music or something on while I'm drawing or the fans in my cintiq will drive me insane . Sometimes i listen to music that matches/drastically contrasts the piece I'm working on but most of the time I can't be bothered and just throw on my youtube mix which consists embarassingly of mainly vocaloid and utau ,, though sometimes if a piece is kicking my ass and I need to just hunker down and get shit done then I'll put the entire discography of an artist I like on shuffle (some favs include 1D/waterparks/former vandal/harumaki gohan) and for some reason the Predictability activates intense productivity mode?? I cant explain it gdsj its like I have music on that I like but it's not jumping around between artists so I don't get too distracted or excited whenever the song changes

#kikuism #thank u so much for sending !!!! ily i wish u good things always <3 #ask meme

[phoenixblack89]

Secret Crushes

My second one shot is pure filth. Gotta warn ya. Might make a sequel... Dunno... But the lovely Travis is getting one next.... Then that amazing bad boy Mac.

@lilythemadqueen @fandomsaremykryponite enjoy sweeties!

Warning: Pure smut. Feels. Arsehole sibling. Underage drinking.

Fuck knows how many words this is cos ain't got a clue.

Edit: I've fixed the fucking errors I saw and added some to it. And got the read more to work! Yus! Enjoy sweetums

PART 2 Part 3

The party was in full swing and you hated it. Why your older sister had insisted on throwing a wild party while your parents were away was beyond your understanding. Must be a cool girl thing you thought as you wandered down the stairs to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. The house was packed to bursting with her friends and their friends. Hell, you're sure some of the teenagers weren't even from your town, not recognising the vast majority. Word of mouth had turned it from a small party for her classmates into a full on rave.

Sighing you pushed your way through to the kitchen your mother would no doubt be dismayed at seeing at the moment. Your mother was somewhat house proud and the kitchen was her pride and joy. Never ever letting dishes pile up in the sink, the shiny chrome polished within an inch of its life. You secretly couldn't wait for the fallout in the morning when they got back and saw the spilled alcohol, cigarette butt's and various other less savoury things spread from the party. Your sister was in soooo much trouble.

"Watch it fat bitch!"

You grit your teeth at the oh so creative insult as you shoved the jerk away from you. He glared down at you from his 6 foot height.

"What's an ugly fuck like ye even doing here?"

"I live here arsehole." You spat back, shouldering your way past and out the back door. Taking a deep breath you wandered the gravel path down to your secret escape at the bottom of the garden, hoping no one had tried to get in. Smiling as the old barn came into sight you felt the tension ease. As you neared you slowed, hearing two distinct and familiar voices. Your mouth suddenly felt drier as your heart pounded.

"Oh Connor!" Your sister moaned and you froze. 

She wouldn't... Would she? 

She knew you had a somewhat strong crush on the elder MacManus brother. His blue eyes and kind smile making butterflies in your stomach every time you saw him. Tears sprang to your eyes at her betrayal and you hurried your steps past the barn, hearing her shriek in shock. Connor and her eyes following you as you stormed past.

"Sis!"

"Fuck off Sara! Get back to the party!" You called after her, as you broke the treeline at the edge of the property. Tears fell slowly and silently as you pulled out a crumpled and almost empty packet of cigarettes. You slipped suddenly and fell head first down the bank to the stream running at the bottom of the hill. A shriek escaped as you braced for the very cold and surely sudden dip. You stopped quickly and waited for the impact against the icy water but it didn't come. Opening one eye you realised you were being held up by a pair of strong arms. A deep breath of relief came from you as the arms set you down on the ground gently.

"Ye alright?"

Your head turned and you gave a weak smile. Murphy's eyes were lined in pink hues, almost as if he, himself, had been crying like you.

"Could ask you the same."

"Aye... Just... Connor ye know."

"Yea... Sara."

He bit his lip and offered you a cigarette. You took it and shuffled to sit beside him. You both smoked and cried silently together. Both content to not mention the fact you were crying to the other, taking the comfort from each others pain and not judging.

"Older siblings, am I right?" You tried to joke, wiping at your eyes. "They sure know how to hit a sore spot."

"Connor's younger than me." Murphy laughed, wiping at his own cheeks. You smiled weakly and shrugged.

"Here's me thinking ya were twins."

"Aye... But I'm older. Fuckin' bastard knew I liked her as well." He sighed and ran his hand through his shaggy dark hair. You nodded and flicked your cigarette into the water, watching silently as it floated away.

"Yea... My sister she... Erm... She knew I liked Connor. Well... Was..... Damn... That I had a bit of a crush on him... Sorry."

"Yea? Bitch. Ain't a good sister doing that when she knew ye liked him" Murphy said, wrapping his arm around your bare shoulders at the shiver that ran you with the cold. He smiled as you wrapped yours around his lower back. "What a pair we make, eh? Our siblings are over there fuckin' like rabbits and here we are wishing it was us instead"

"Nah. We know better... Sara is just a bitch and Connor... He'll soon learn she's one too."

"Yea? What about you? Don't think I caught ya name lass?"

"Y/N. Everyone called me other things though." You gulped, biting your lip and giving a shaky sigh.

"Oh aye? What's that then?" He smirked at you, thinking it was some cute nickname.

"Mostly fatty, bitch, ugly... I'm not pretty or slim like Sara and I get why Connor would see her before me. She's everything I'm not."

"I... I don't... You are pretty. And so what if ye not some skinny bitch... I like ye and any one who can't see how amazing ye fuckin' are don't deserve ye time." He smiled sweetly down at you, his fingers grazing under your chin to make you look at him as you ducked your head.

"Thanks. But that's not true."

"Course it is! I say it is! And I always, always tell t' truth." He smirked, puffing out his chest. You giggled and shook your head. You leaned your head against his shoulder and sighed.

"I just wish someone would see me for me... And not what they always see. Fat ugly little bitch... Wish he'd of seen me..."

"He ain't worth ye time."

"She's not worth yours..."

"Aye. I see that now." He shuffled down to lay on his back, pulling you with him and smiled.

You lay in quiet contemplation for a while, the distant sounds of creaking wood and stifled moans making both your hearts ache.

"We should go get a drink! Drown our sorrows." You suggest, despite being not keen on alcohol. Murphy laughs and sits up, reaching into the pocket of his coat and pulling out one of your dad's whiskey bottles.

"Damn. Read my mind lass." He smiled and opened the bottle, gulping it down without a grimace before handing it to you. You choked down a mouthful and smacked his chest lightly as he snorted at you.

"I'm not a big drinker like you MacManus!"

He smirked and leaned over you so your faces were mere inches apart, a smirk curving the right side of his lips upwards.

"Aye... What else ain't ye big on then?"

"What?! What the fuck does that mean?" You feel your cheeks burning in embarrassing red.

"Well... I'm here and ye here.... Thought we could forget our sorrows another way... If ye up fer it?"

"You mean... In.... What way? I mean... I... Fuck" 

You sound like a fucking fool, stumbling over your words as his hand draws patterns along your waist slowly. Biting his lip he closes the distance between you and his lips meet yours. It's different to how you imagined your first kiss to be. You always imagined it to be a burning passionate, uncontrolled thing but this was soft, unurgent and gentle, sending a thrill of something to your core.

"How old are ye anyway, lass?" He asked, pulling away suddenly. You bit your lip and avoided his eyes until his finger brought your face to his once more. "I don't wanna get in trouble..."

"I just turned 18... You?"

"19... You... Have ye ever done this before?" His blue eyes searched yours for a moment before he sighed.

"No... But... I... I... Want to... If... If you want to leave you can. I won't stop you. I get most guys don't want someone so inexperienced."

Murphy glanced around for a moment, seeming to decide on the right course of action before slugged his long leather jacket off and laying on the ground beside you. He nudged his head to the side, your eyebrows creasing in confusion. He gave a smile and a chuckle before lifting your hips and sliding you on top of his jacket. His lips find yours again as soon as you shift yourself over on to his jacket fully and you wrap your arms around his neck. Gasping slightly as his hand drifts under your shirt and traces along your ribs. Pulling back slightly you take in his eyes, now darken with needful desire. He kisses your cheek softly and runs his palm upwards slowly and bits his lip, his white teeth shining brightly against their rose hue.

He licks his bottom lip as he tugs your shirt upwards and lowers his head to kiss along your stomach, you squirm in embarrassment. You hate the extra fat that gathered along your stomach and hips. His head raised to your face and he sighed.

"Ye beautiful lass. Every single inch..."

"Don't... I know its not true." You reply, tears coming to your eyes again in frustration. Anger at yourself for the lack of control you have over your own eating habits. You comfort ate, it was a habit nothing seemed to break you of. Murphy kissed you gently again and gazed down into Y/E/C eyes softly. His thumb running along your cheek softly.

"Told ye. Always tell t' truth. Believe me... Ye beautiful... Absolutely... Beautiful." He whispered between giving you soft kisses along you jawline and down your neck. You moaned as he kissed a sensitive spot. He smirked against your skin and focused on that one spot, sucking, licking and grazing it with his teeth. His hand reached under your shirt and stroked gently over the chubby plains of your torso to your chest.

A sharp gasp released from your mouth as his fingers ran along the edge of the unattractive sports bra you wore. Smirking against your collarbone he slipped his fingers inside and tweaked your nipple. A flood of arousal dropped into your panties and you moaned, arching upwards into his touch.

"Ye like that lass? Feel good, aye?"

You nodded and pulled his lips to yours. He groaned, your hips bucking upwards into his at the sensations he was causing to rush through you.

He pulled away and leaned back onto his knees, his hand running down your body to your covered core. He licked his lips and glanced at you as he ran a finger along your jeans button. Nodding at him, he smiled and flicked it open before dragging the zipper down slowly. His hands slipped inside and tugged them down over your hips as you bit your lip in nervousness.

You sat up slightly and reached for his belt, eyes boring into his blue ones as you pulled his belt from his jeans, tossing it to the side carelessly and reaching for the waistband. Shuffling slightly he helped you ease them down over his hips before laying you both down again. Only your underwear separating the heat of your bodies as he kissed you passionately, his hips rocking slowly into yours. Your hands found their way into his hair and tugged slightly as you both began panting at the friction of your hips. Your underwear was damp with your slick.

"Are ye sure ye want this lass?" Murphy panted into your mouth as his hand reached between you to cup your wet core, rubbing it hard causing you to gasp and squirm under him to get more pressure, more friction, more... Something, you didn't know.

"Please... Murphy..."

"I got ye lass." He whispered as his finger reaching under the elastic of your plain cotton underwear and ran through the folds of your dripping core. His fingers slid into you as his thumb found the bundle of nerves at the centre of your thighs. Rubbing his thumb in smooth, lazy circles he kissed against the spot he'd sucked a dark mark onto on your neck. His pants and moans echoing loudly in your ear as his fingers thrust in and out of you in time of his circling thumb. Your heart sped up and pounded against your ribs as a totally new sensation began building in your gut. "Cum fer me beautiful."

It felt like something inside had snapped and your body tensed all over, your legs shaking around Murphy's strong arm, your breath caught in your throat and as sudden as it began, it ended and you felt yourself more relaxed than you could ever remember being before. 

"Good girl."

"Fuck... Murphy..."

He raised his head and smiled cockily down at you. He bought his hand out of your underwear and raised it to his mouth. You could see the glint of your moisture coating his long, graceful fingers in the weak starlight as he began to lick and suck his fingers clean. Your jaw​ fell open at that sight. You had heard of people doing it but to see someone do that, and with your juices no less, caused a rush of shame and desire to course through you.

His face lowered to yours once more and he smirked against your ear.

"Maybe next time... I'll lick this delicious pussy out..."

"Murphy..." You gasped, feeling slick pooling once more.

"Aye lass?"

"Please..."

He kissed you once more, hands finding the waistband of your underwear and gently lowering them down and gazing down at your core. Your legs closed in shame as your cheeks heated. He chuckled and pushed them apart again and studied you intensely.

"Fuckin' perfection."

He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet, fishing out a condom and ripping it open with his teeth. His eyes found yours as he shuffled out of his boxers and grasped his hard thick cock in one hand, pumping it up and down for several moments, his eyes never leaving the sight of your bared core. He rolled the condom down his cock and leaned over you once more.

"Are ye absolutely sure beautiful?"

"I'm sure Murphy." Your voice replied, an edge of nervousness obvious in the way your voice sounded so quiet and wavered slightly. He smiled and kissed you, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you felt his cock brush against your mound as he positioned himself between your thighs.

His tip ran along your slit as he guided it and you gasped at the foreign feeling. His eyes held yours as he slowly pushed into you. A sharp cry of pain came from you and your body tensed under him. He reached for your hand, which was clawing at the fabric of his coat and grasped it in his own. Holding himself still and steady until you adjusted. You nodded slightly as his lips ran along your cheek, kissing away the tears that had slipped from your eyes. His cock inched slowly deeper into your unexplored pussy and he paused again to look you in the eye, making sure you were okay with each slow thrust.

"Ye alright?"

"Hmmhummm." You replied, gritting your teeth as you felt the burning grow sharper as he inched forward more. He gave a groan and shook with restraint. His heart was pounding in his ears at the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing his cock. He had never been with a virgin and but knew from Connor's numerous boasts that they felt tighter than anything else. He was by no means a virgin himself and was determined to make this a pleasurable experience for you. 

Even if it killed him.

He gave a loud moan as he finally bottomed out inside you and kissed you passionately allowing you a moment or two of adjustment. You ran your fingers through his hair over and over as your tongues battled. You felt his cock twitch deep inside you and gasped into his mouth as his thumb once more began circling your clit.

"Murphy please..." You moaned, twitching your hips to encourage him to begin moving. His thrusts were slow and steady against you, taking his time to build until you both were absolutely sure you felt no pain anymore. His hand held one of your thighs around his hip and the other circling your clit, pleasure building slowly for the both of you. Sweet kisses left against each others necks as he began thrusting a little faster with each thrust.

Your back ached up to his chest as he hit a spot inside you that made you feel a sharp jolt of pure bliss.

"Ohhh... Fuckkkk.... Murphy..." You gasped into his mouth as he began aiming for that spot over and over, increasing his circling thumb's speed and pressure. Your toes curled in your boots as you suddenly were blinded by white light and your orgasm ripped through you. A loud shriek of unadulterated pleasure ripped from your throat. Murphy smirked and thrust harder, chasing his own release now he'd made you have a chance to cum over his cock. The walls of your pussy fluttering around his cock and your clit twitching under his thumb. His hair hung around his face in sweat soaked strands and you brushed them away to kiss him, still shaking in post orgasmic bliss. His body tensed against yours and he came, a guttural moan echoing loudly around you. His breaths coming sharp against your neck as he slumped over you and gave a little huff of pleasure.

"Fuck lass. I've never had one like that before."

"Huh... Guess that means it was okay?" You panted, suddenly nervous again. Would he feel satisfied? Did he really enjoy it? Was it good? Were you good?

He pushed himself onto his elbows and kissed you deeply, fucking your mouth with his tongue.

"Beautiful, I ain't ever lettin' ye go! Not after that."

You smiled as you kissed again with a laugh.

"MURPH! WHERE ARE YE?!"

You both froze and looked at each other. Murphy quickly pulled his cock from you, grimacing at the slight splattering of blood on the condom as he pulled it off and pulled his boxers and jeans on as you, too quickly dressed once more. Footsteps and the sounds of snapping twigs coming closer.

"Murph?!"

"Aye! I'm 'ere!" He yelled back as you stood and dusted down his jacket, handing it to him so he could swing it back onto his body. He grabbed your face and planted a sweet kiss on your lips quickly and smoothed down your hair as he gave your cheek a sweet kiss.

"There ye are! Oh..."

Connor paused and glanced between you two with an eyebrow raised.

"What’s going on here then, Murph?" He smirked. Murphy pushed his brother back in the direction of the house.

"I was helping her. She seemed upset. Dunno why though." He glanced over his shoulder at you and winked cheekily. "Kid needed a shoulder t' cry on. That's all."

"That right... Well come on. We best get home before Ma sends t' alarm out. Ye know how Uncle Silas is."

"Aye."

The brothers walked away and you followed slowly, Murphy glancing back over his shoulder at you with a happy but shy smile ghosting his face every now and then. Connor waved goodbye at the door to Sara and blew her a kiss in return to the one she'd blown and you rolled your eyes at the pair. Sara tried to grab your arm as you passed and you shrugged her off, rushing upstairs to your room and locking the door. You went to the window and watched as the twins walked down the drive.

Murphy paused before he left the gate, looked up and smiled widely at you and raised his hand. The streetlight lit his face up and you smiled, giving a small laugh as Connor shoved him ahead with a laugh and a glance upwards. You ducked away from the window quickly and lay on your bed, a ridiculously wide smile bracing your own face as you bit your lip and gave a small laugh.

Maybe tomorrow at school wouldn't be so bad. Not now you had a secret thing going on the darker haired MacManus.

#normanreedus #smutty goodness #murphy macmanus #Murphy macmanus fanfiction #Bds fanfiction #Murphy x reader #Bds smut #Murphy macmanus smut #PhoenixBWrites #boondock saints fanfiction #boondock saints smut #Secret Crushes

[fanfictionaries]

Giiiiirl, I am CRAVING some baking with Bucky. Like some good old recipe from his mom or sisters, eating half the batter, being all innocent and goofy. Maybe Reader introducing him to the world of cupcakes with a second batch of batter they make. Just a sweeeet baking day ❤️

I made myself happy sad with this one. XD 

Might be a little more angsty than you were looking for, but all the sweet fluff is there as well! 

Inspired by my own great great grandmother’s recipe. 

Orange Rolls

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: None, just the fluffiest fluff you can imagine; slight angst. 

Author’s Note: I loved doing this, so please people. Send me more requests! ALSO this is an actual family recipe of mine. I recommend trying it! 

I recommend listening to this song while reading this: https://open.spotify.com/track/7pR7yPgbYcipmTUHT5g68p?si=nQZeCOmoTcm43qOI1YRPNA

***

Step 1. Dissolve 2 yeast cakes in ¼ cup warm water.

The room was alight in the glow of soft warm sun. Nestled in your blankets, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and yawned widely, stretching and turning to snuggle into the familiar warmth of Bucky. Firm muscle, soft skin, ticklish arm hair – all missing. Instead only cool sheets, drawn back on his side of the bed. You didn’t have to check the time to know it was early, but you rolled over to the bedside table to check your phone anyways. Five AM. Much too early to be up on a Sunday morning, even for your early bird of a super soldier. Rolling onto your back, you stayed quiet, attempting to hear any signs of life in the small apartment. Perhaps he’d only gotten up to use the bathroom. The sound of heavy items falling and a string of curses coming from the kitchen brushed away the thought. Jumping out of bed, you pulled one of Bucky’s large sweatshirts over your head and stepped into your slippers.

When you rounded the corner, the first thing you noticed was the expanse of your pantry laid out onto the floor. The second thing you noticed was Bucky, sat cross-legged in the middle of the array of flours, sugars, and spices, head in his hands. You knew this look. This crumpled, defeated look that so few had the privilege to witness. Everyone saw the stoic, cold Winter Soldier. So little saw Bucky Barnes, a kid from Brooklyn. Tiptoeing around the spilled bags of sugar, flour, and sprinkles, you stood beside him, leaning over and placing a gentle hand to his back, rubbing soft, slow circles.

“Nightmares?” you asked, moving your hand up to thread through his freshly cropped hair, scraping your fingernails against his scalp. Bucky tilted his head back, leaning into your touch like a cat leaving its scent. You could see the telltale signs; red rimmed eyes, pink tipped nose, raw bitten lips.

“No, no nightmares. I uh…I had a dream about my mom,” Bucky answered, the end of his sentence biting off in a short, harsh laugh. You held your breath. It flattered you that Bucky felt comfortable enough with you to share the gory, ugly details of his past – the things that kept him up at night. The things he thought you couldn’t love him for. But never had he talked about his family. The only memories of his past life you ever heard were the ones Steve brought up, the rowdy stories of two young men up to no good in 40’s Brooklyn. Yet on his own, Bucky remained silent about his life before the war. You never pushed him. It would be cruel of you to press a subject that was most likely too painful for him to think about. Now, the waver in his voice and the tears that welled in his eyes told you that that assumption had been correct.

“I was sittin’ in my old kitchen and uh—” he sniffed, taking a moment to clear his throat “—it was Easter. I know it was Easter ‘cause ma made orange rolls. She only ever made them on Easter. And it—it was the best damn orange roll I’ve ever had. I woke up and I remembered Steve brought over some boxes of my family’s old things, stuff Rebecca left behind I guess, and I found this.”

In his hand he held an aged recipe card, stained from years of use. The yellowed card stock was bent and torn, but the writing still held clear, thick and messy in some places as if it had been traced over multiple times. It was well used. Well loved. At the top, clearly labeled in large looped font, were the words ‘Orange Rolls’.

“I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth. I figured I’d try to make them, but I wasn’t much for the kitchen back then, let alone now. And—and you don’t have any yeast cakes. I can’t make them without yeast cakes (Y/N). It’s the first ingredient and I can’t—” The words broke off, catching in the back of his throat. He wrapped his arms around your legs, clinging to them like a broken child. Rolling off of him in waves, the permeating sadness and longing washed over you, breaking your heart with each hit.

“I don’t think they make yeast cakes anymore Bucky—” you spoke slowly, choosing your words carefully. At the statement, you felt his arms tighten in a panic. You were quick to placate him “—but I have some dry active yeast that I think should work. Why don’t we clean this up and then see what we can do, yea?”

Step 2. Warm 1 cup milk, add ½ cup sugar, 3 Tbsp shortening, 2 tsp salt.

Turns out, a single yeast cake is equal to approximately 4 and ½ tsps of dry active yeast. After this joyous announcement and your internal praise to Google’s ever living library of knowledge, Bucky was up on his feet, standing in front of the stove over a saucepan of milk.

“How do you know when it’s warm?” he asked, looking curiously down at the pan of milk in front of him.

“Stick your finger in it, if it feels warm, then it’s probably warm,” you answered sarcastically, reaching into the depths of your pantry for the Crisco. A rarely used, but very important staple for any kitchen.

“What? I’m not sticking my finger in it,” said Bucky, watching with rapt horror as you walked up beside him and dipped the tip of your pointer finger into the warm, white liquid.

“I think it’s warm enough to put the sugar in. What?” you asked him when you saw the look of exasperation on your boyfriend’s face.

“You put your finger in the milk.”

“And? My hands are clean. You watched me wash them. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of catching cooties. Cause I hate to break it to you but, you probably already have them.” Lifting on your toes, you placed a sweet, soft kiss to his lips. Catching you around the waist before you could drop back down, Bucky kissed you back with slow purpose.

“Is that right?” he asked teasingly, breaking away from your lips ever so slightly.

“Afraid so,” you murmured against the soft, heat of his mouth.

Step 3. Beat in 3 eggs, 2 cups flour, and add dissolved yeast. Let rise for 1 hour.

The wet dough sat on the counter; a kitchen towel draped lightly over it. By this time, the sun had fully crested over the city skyline, pouring blinding light into the small space of your kitchen. The two of you sat at the kitchen island, sipping your coffee as you waited for the dough to rise. Your bare feet sat, propped in Bucky’s lap, the thumb of his metal hand absentmindedly rubbing the arch of your right foot as he spoke animatedly.

“You should have seen her. Becca was so mad; I thought her head was going to spin all the way around!” laughed Bucky, the creases at the corners of his eyes making a warm and welcome appearance as he regaled a story that you had never heard before.

“Well that’s what she got for touching your stuff,” you said, taking Bucky’s side in the long forgotten sibling argument.

“Thank you! See, you get it. I wish I could say the same for my parents. My pa gave me such a lickin’ and then ma sent me off to bed with no dinner. All for putting worms in her bed!”

“Did she get in trouble for letting your pet frog loose?” you asked, enraptured by the story.

“No! Do you know how hard it was to find a frog in Brooklyn?”

“Impossible. I don’t even know how you did it.”

“Well, really it was Steve that found him—”

“Him? Did he have a name?” you interrupted him with a cheeky smile.

Bucky scratched the back of his head, a light pinkness appearing on his cheeks, “He might of…”

“Aaaand?” you pressed, wanting to know the name even more at the prospect of it being embarrassing.

“I don’t know if I wanna’ tell you. I think you’re just gonna laugh.”

“I won’t! I promise!” you exclaimed, drawing an invisible cross over you heart.

Bucky looked at you skeptically, a raised eye trained on you before answering, “Fine. It was Mr. Ribbits.”

You tried your hardest, really you did. But a snort escaped your nose before you could stop it and then Bucky was playfully pushing your legs off of his lap and turning away from you, “See! I knew you’d laugh. You’re such a bad liar!”

“I’m sorry!” You reached for him, still attempting to stifle your giggles as you pulled at Bucky’s arm, turning him back towards you. “Really, I am. I think Mr. Ribbits is a respectable name.”

“Thank you. It is.” His tone was resolute, but it didn’t take a trained eye to spot the small smile working its way onto the corner of his lips. “But no, Becca didn’t get in trouble. In fact, my pa said I was too old to be picking up animals off the street anyways.”

“How old were you?”

“I think I was about ten.”

Step 4. Add 3 cups flour and beat in with spoon. Let raise 1 and ½ hours.

“We have to wait again?!”

“Yea, we have to let the dough rise, otherwise the rolls will be tough and there won’t be enough to roll out,” you explained, placing the towel over the bowl once again and reaching for your empty coffee cups.

“But I thought we just did that,” said Bucky in confusion. You tried not to smile at him, but the cute little scrunch of his eyebrows made you a weak and gooey fool.

“Baking is more of an art in patience than skill. Especially any kind of bread, babe. Don’t worry, once they’re done, they’ll be more than worth the wait,” you reassured him, patting his cheek gently.

“Well…can we make something else while we wait? What’s your favorite thing to bake?” Bucky asked, his innocent tone making him sound like a wide-eyed child.

You smiled, big and happy, and walked over to the recipe box that sat atop the fridge. Taking it down and setting in on the counter in front of you, you dug into the baking section and produced a handful of recipe cards.

“Take your pick soldier.”

Step 5. Roll out dough and spread on icing – 2 cups sugar, 1 orange: rind grated and juiced, 6 Tbsp melted butter. Roll, cut, and place in muffin tin. Cover and let raise 20 mins.

“Stop eating all the batter!” you scolded, whacking the back of Bucky’s hand with a spatula. The impact had no effect, the sneaking man having had the forethought to use his metal hand.

“If I wasn’t supposed to eat it this way, then why is it so delicious?” he argued, sneaking another finger into the chocolate concoction and bringing it to his mouth.

“Because it’s five pounds of sugar and fat,” you laughed, grabbing hold of his wrist and bringing the chocolate covered finger to your mouth instead. “Also – how is it gross for me to dip my finger into the milk but you can have these grubby little paws buried deep in my brownie batter?”

The question caught Bucky off guard. Raising his hand up, he wiggled the vibranium fingers in your face, “Metal arm – they’re, uh, sterile.”

You guffawed, absolutely tickled by the lame response, “Sterile. Okay. Well, preheat the oven Mr. Sterile.”

Using the spatula, you scraped the double chocolate chip brownie batter into the greased pan. Strong arms wrapped around your waist and a head came to rest on your shoulder, watching you scrape the sides of the bowl. Nuzzling his face into your neck, he placed a gentle kiss just below your ear.

“You know, you’re getting pretty mouthy these days. I have half a mind to take you over my knee,” Bucky growled playfully.

Before your brain could connect with what your body was doing, the spatula had already lifted away from the bowl and made contact with the side of his face. The wet splat of batter to skin sounded plainly through the kitchen. Releasing you from his hold, Bucky stepped back, his expression vacant and shell-shocked.  Dropping the spatula back into the bowl, you covered your face with your hands as you tried not to lose it. He looked positively ridiculous. Chocolate covered the left side of his face, dripping down from his brow bone to his chin. You watched as he brought a hand up slowly, touching his face and bringing it back down to examine it. He stared at the chocolate proof on his fingertips for a few moments as you waited with horrific anticipation.  

“Oh, that’s it, doll. You better run.”

The menacing words sent your heart rate soaring. A playful shriek escaped your lungs as you bolted from the kitchen, Bucky on your heel with a growl in the back of his throat.

Step 6. Place in the oven at 375 for 10-15 minutes. Makes around 3 dozen.

The brownies, already baked and cooling on the counter, were long forgotten as Bucky sat in front of the oven. Arms wrapped around his bent legs, he watched as the orange rolls slowly rose in their muffin tins.

“When are they gonna be done?” he asked you, staring into the depths of the oven like a fortune teller stares into their crystal ball. Like if he looked hard enough, he’d find all the answers to the universe.

“About five more minutes.” You sat down beside him, leaning into his side as the two of you watched his long-forgotten memories rise. You were excited to try the rolls. It was a recipe you had never heard of, which was a rare thing. But most importantly you were excited to try a little piece of Bucky’s life. A piece of the man, the boy, that he used to be before life happened. It felt special and intimate.

“What if they’re not as good as I remember?” The words were soft and honest. You could feel the same sadness and apprehension as earlier that morning drift from him to you. Leaning against him firmer, you took his hand into yours. Threading the warm flesh into your own, you continued to stare into the heat of the oven.

“They will be.”

Step 7. Enjoy.

The rolls were a beautiful sight. Small, golden brown swirls in a neat, compact shape. The sugar filling had melted down into the bottom of the pan, creating and thick and chewy caramel layer at the bottom of each one. A delicious detail that Bucky said was supposed to happen, but also made it incredibly difficult to pry them from their tins. Still, with the help of a butter knife and a lot of patience, the two of you were able to get most of them out unscathed. A buttery orange scent swirled through the air, causing your mouth to salivate as they sat atop of the wire cooling rack. The two of you sat at the kitchen island, staring at the rolls in silence – you with a look of anticipation, Bucky with a look of confusion.

“What is it?” you asked, wondering if he still doubted that they would hold up to his dream.

“I’m pretty sure they had frosting.”

While the recipe didn’t call for it, Bucky insisted that they always had a frosting on them. After a few minutes of questioning about what kind of frosting it was, or at least what it looked and tasted like, you came to the conclusion that it was most likely a simple glaze. A few minutes later, you each had a plate in front of you with a single, gooey, glistening orange roll sat pristinely on it.

You were starving. You’d been up for nearly five hours and you hadn’t eaten anything yet. But you didn’t dare dig in until Bucky had his first bite. Reaching out tentatively, he picked up the roll, twisting and turning it, inspecting it with a warry expression. Holding your breath, you watched as he brought the baked good to his lips and took a generous bite. He chewed, and chewed, and chewed – each second leaving you with more consternation than the last. When he finally swallowed, he set the rest of the roll down onto his plate and heaved a heavy sigh. Your heart dropped.

“No good?” you asked, fearing you already knew the answer from the way his shoulders bunched over the counter.

Looking to you, tears once again welling in his eyes, Bucky did something unexpected. He kissed you. A firm, chaste kiss that lasted only a moment but formed butterflies in your stomach before he pulled back.

“They’re even better than I remember.”

The proclamation sent your heart soaring. You let out the breath you’d been holding, feeling your own tears of relief and joy begin to well. Blinking them back, you smiled at him, blinded by the dazzling smile you received in turn.

“Well then, let’s eat them all because I am famished,” you replied, picking up your own orange roll and taking a giant bite. The mix of soft, warm bread, zesty orange, chewy caramel, and sweet frosting set your taste buds alight. As you chewed, you envisioned a ten year old Bucky sitting in his mother’s kitchen on Easter morning. Curly brown hair, all teeth and dimples in his Sunday best and as happy as a kid could be. Why?

Because this was the best damn orange roll you’d ever had.

Marvel Taglist: 

@caffiend-queen

@hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall

#requests #fan fiction #fanfic #fluff #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #memories #baking #angst

[quackspot]

i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear 

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me” 

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful. 

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now 

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground. 

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??” 

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.” 

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could. 

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene 

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake 

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn 

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie 

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed. 

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs. 

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????” 

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin 

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im  tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku 

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca.  ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.” 

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could  do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC #like i went broader then refocused in at the end #so if you want the basics its just. right at the end #my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine #melon-official

[alphaedd]

What's your opinion about the red leader/tord design?

ohhh, I’ll give it to you with pleasure anon ! I hope you’re ready, long rant ahead bc im an art student and that means, I’m Overly Technical, I Throw Personal Opinions Around, And I’m Probably Too Mean For What Eddsworld Is

for those who did not see it :

anyway

so let’s start with starters. shape. when you first look at the design you notice immediatly : it’s triangles and rectangles (aside from the lonely ass knee pads. and belt which are just “shield” coded) what the fuck this mean ?? well, triangles = DANGURUS, S H A R P n shit. you get it, the codes for danger and stabby shit. it’s also the code for hierarchies n such cause pyramids. this guy is high in the hierarchies, this guy is made to step on people and shred them. curvy + pointy = teary. simple designs maths. its ideal for cartoon characters who are pretty outside = inside coded. after, ngl, they went /super basic/, whats “expected” when you go with that. rectangle legs and feet, triangle torso, square jaw, yadda yadda… they laid down the stereotypes and called it a day.

now let’s see the colours, which are treated pretty much the same. you have classic black for darkness, evil and death, classic red for blood, war and yadda yadda, eletric blue for electricity and basic robot aesthetics, gold for power and wealth and royalty, and of course because tord is a basic tankie bitch who wears the communist colours. theyre p average but at least they aren’t at full saturation so-

anyway. next layer of rant. the “themes” for the clothes. ok its just, obvious magneto copycat with a mix of the clothes from typical centurion outfit but robot and your average modern army clothes. we get it, honour, strenght, war, evil, yadda yadda. extra average. looks like the phantoms from the zelda franchise too. symetric but not too much cause arms. and tbfh they bother me- the robotic one just…. doesn’t make sence ? you have precise groups of muscles that are set in a precise way to move one way or another. and this arm simply just doesn’t respect them at all and they dont seem to be any sort of functional whatsoever in their setup. I’m not sure how he could lift his arms with his shoulders pillons setup this way. I also fail to understand how the robot exoskeleton on the other arm works, and I honestly find it God Damn Ugly like bitch ! that aint following no movement whatsoever. it’s fucking shapeless, yikes ! yea point being, nice try but it’s super average and the arms would need a Lot of work. also capes are terrible in modern fights because they get stuck everywhere and if there’s wind they can make it harder to be stable which is shit if you need to aim at stuff but w/e.

however, what’s interesting is a winks about the previous stuff, namely the black hoodie. it’s funny cause tord’s developpement went a bit like this, when you look : nerd who faps at hentai and loves guns -> asshole who doubles as miracle scientist with dreams a little too big to be good -> kylo ren- okay okay that was a joke. but point stands still, total dictator who is a little too edgy for his own good, literally wants to rule the world as an absolute god. it’s very stereotypical but if they had made part 2 of tord’s developpement a lil more funny, I bet it’d have gone well. they switched tones and its where it just didnt work. eh well.

so yeah summed up, its a very average design. hard to distinguish from your average mary sue. but, guess what ? mary sues can be pulled off with the right universe. they can go and make him a villain that smashes everything with little thoughs and… itd be perfectly in line with what he did previously. I mean, cmon. we’re talking about “I moved in the house of my ex friends and bugged them for ages and bullied them and blew up their house when i couldve just pretended to come for a visit of a day or just broken in to get the robot and be done with it, aka im an edgelord doing unecessary shit just for the sake of wrecking stuff”. of course that guy would want overdone outfits that barely look functionnal ! of course hed be like these stereotypical brute leaders ! hes a walking parody of them- after yeah, couldve done it better. couldve either pushed the evil even deeper into the stereotypes to make it ridiculous just like that outfit. i could see it with the new costume. that or, tord trying to be evil, but his outfit just… keeps getting in the way. stepping on the cape/getting it stuck in doors, barely being able to move his arms, constantly suffocating under the headgear, etc… could work. but I can’t see tomska make it work, sorry. i say a lot of things here but ngl, I’m 90% sure they didn’t think of even half of what I said when they did the design. so lol.

anyway, hold my faygo. i have the rep of being a wizard able to make anything look good n hot. so sit down and watch while i demonstrate. see also : tweaking a lil the design

(didnt turn as good as planned so will give another shoot tommorow. i still cant draw hoodie hoods fdjskdjdsk)

Big Sib, [06.02.18 23:30]he goes out and poledances in the same outfit, probably

#ew tord #ew red leader #red leader #eddsworld #penguin dumbo scribbls #art

[jackofftao]

Jeno Boyfriend AU !

It’s been a while since I’ve done this so excuse the rust that clouds my writing. It shall clean with time. (lmao that made no sense) 

anyway 

lets get to it !

OKay so we gonna do a like getting together story because I’m a lonely roll

School ! no one loves it 

except for that one weird kid in the back of your class

you ride the bus alone 

and you meet your friends when you get to school, suffer for a bit, eat lunch, suffer a bit more, cry, -lmao you get the point

then you ride the bus home again

alone 

someone bout to change that

Jeno hardly goes to school because of schedules 

and crazy fangirls lmao 

promotions had just ended tho 

so now he’s stuck in this hell hole with everyone else

he rides the bus with Renjun and loud ass  Chenle

also Jisung but he has to stand up because that boy too tall 

Renjun is usually drawing, Chenle is doing last minute hm, and Jisung is trying to figure out how to kill himself with that hand strap thing if he has to stand up while riding this god forsaken bus one more time lmao 

tHATS WHEN 

he notices that theres a girl who goes to their school (and doesn’t chase them down like a maniac) and always sits alone in the back of the bus 

so he gets his nerves out of the way and asks if he can sit next to you because he hates doesn’t want to stand 

and ofc ur like “Ya sure my dude” 

Things are honestly v quiet and weird to start off with 

and he always is looking at you with his mouth opening and closing like a dam fish 

so you start up convo 

“whats ur name ?”

“Jisung”

“Nice, I’m y/n”

Jisung is honestly relieved because obviously you don’t know who they are if you asked for his name. 

“What are you listening to?”

you hand him one of your ear buds and thats how u two become friends 

You two listen to EXO all the time on the way to and back from school 

The group™ asks where he’s been and Jisung is just like “I made a new friend” 

The group™ watch you two like all the time lmao

especially Jeno

soon enough you are talking about classes and such 

“Hey! You have the same classes as my friend Jeno!”

jeno ???

Jisung never really talked about his friends tbh 

you figured he didn’t have any since he was standing all alone 

LMAO RIP JISUNG

anyway so you ask to meet his other friends and he’s like suRE

He told you that they ride the same bus 

u were dumbfounded 

you agreed to meet them after school at an ice cream shop 

The ride to the ice cream shop that day was like playing where is Waldo

“Is that them?”

“no”

“Them??” “still no”

“The bus driver ???”

“What- nO”

“well I’ve guessed everyone on this bus so i just figured-”

“Oh my god you’re the worst” 

When you finally got to the ice cream shop you were kinda annoyed because you had guessed them but he said no 

“You owe me ice cream now”

“for what”

“,,,,,ummm,,,,emotional distress” 

“You’re so dramatic lmao”

he still didn’t buy you ice cream 

When you all sat down it was really quiet and weird 

You and Jisung sat next to each other on one side of the table sharing earbuds and everyone else was on the other side 

“are u 2 dating or what” - Chenle

“No oh my god they’re ugly” - Both u and Jisung 

everyone ended up laughing 

“My name is y/n, nice to finally meet you all. Tbh I didn’t even know you guys existed till this morning.” 

Chenle gasped and held his chest and pretended to have a heart attack or something but it just looked like a dolphin out of water

then Renjun body slammed Chenle into the ground while Jisung cheered Renjun on by yelling “WORLD STAR WORLD STAR WORLD STAR” 

thats when you knew these were a fine™ group of boys 

while the younger ones are off trying to keep Chenle from jumping all over the place

you strike up convo with Jeno 

“Hey ur in my grade right” 

turns out you have the same first period and 5th 

you two hit it off nicely and get really involved in convo 

you two don’t even notice chenle, renjun and jisung leave 

until you look at your phone to check the time and see a text 

From: Jising sang sung

Have fun on your date lmao

Que you laughing but also planning his murder

Jeno walks you home because you live close 

what a gentleman 

the next day at school you sit next to Jeno in first period 

for the next month you two get close 

group projects, free time, ext 

you even start sitting with him at lunch 

he even replaced Jisung on the bus 

bye bye Jisung

Until one day 

Jeno isn’t there 

neither are the boys™

SO your dumb ass finally put 2 + 2 together 

Jeno was an Idol 

so you did some Research™ 

If found my new punch line its ™

and BOOM 

The boys™ are actually NCT Dream

so you start watching some of their MV’s 

and like wow 

Jeno is a visual ?

And he can Dance?

And hes super sweet 

Thump thump is that a crush growing ?

i think so 

You decide to keep it a secret that you know

and wait till he tells you 

after a week you text him 

To: jeNO Bub where you at :(((((   Still Sick ?  To: jeNO I miss you and  >:’0 GET BETTER SOON HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME

He didn’t reply till like 3 am lmao 

and it was just “Oof ya its a real uh nasty cold,,,,be back soon !!!”

and ur like laughing because you know that he has a comeback soon but he out here pretending to be sick lmao 

what a dork 

After a month you start becoming really impatient 

and he still hasn’t replied to your 50 unread messages 

after the second month you stop texting 

on the third month you stop saving his seat 

on the fourth month you move back to your old seat 

you check your messages one last time and you see that your 125 unread messages remain unread 

a couple of weeks later you hear a roar of girls in the halls

and they are comping your way 

and u don’t know why tbh and ur terrified 

but they just run right pass you????

escaped death

but you just continue to the lunch room to sit with your friends

but someone grabs your shirt sleeve panting 

“y- y-y/n” 

“Jeno ??????”

And ur like happy but also pissed 

“You mug where were you ??? Why didn’t you answer my texts!! Ive been worried you know that! I checked my messages every day for 2 months ! Two months Jeno ISTG u better explain urself rn or I’m deleting your number” 

“I know I know Just its- I don’t know how to say this but uh okay follow me and I’ll explain everything”

So he takes you to the fountain our front and explains that he’s an idol and everything and he got really busy with comebacks and felt bad for lying to you about being sick and he didn’t want to keep that up for four months because he would have to have some real bad illness for it to last four months and he didn’t want to have to pretend to be in the hospital and everything just because he had promotions but didn’t wanna tell you because he was afraid you would look at him differently and- 

tbh u were like shut up you mug I already knew you were an idol but it still hurt :( 

and he was so sorry this poor kicked puppy 

“How can I make it up to you?”

“A date would be nice”

“A-a date?”

“yea I think the ice cream shop would do, you’re paying btw”

“Wait you like me??”

“,,,well ya ? I wouldn’t have asked you on a date otherwise”

“Oh okay good. I like you too!”

“Can I call you my boyfriend now or???”

“I’d like that, Girlfriend” 

“Stop oh my god you’re greasy”

and he just laughs with his eyes like crescent moons

#lee jeno #nct jeno #jeno scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno x reader #jeno bf au #jeno boyfriend au #nct dream #nct scenario #nct scenarios #NCT Dream Scenarios

[stayextrafrosty]

Real One

Summary: Your friend gets meet and greet tickets for her favorite band and wants you to come with. Fall Out Boy is a great band that you also like but don’t know much about. Then you finally meet them.

Pairing: Patrick Stump x Reader

Reader: Female

Warnings: mentions of depression, smut

Words: 7056

I sat on the ugly yellow couch in the small square room that was my therapist’s office. Temporary but it was still uncomfortable. There was only one small window and it was facing a building. I’m not claustrophobic but it felt small.

“So, you said that your friend is taking you to a meet and greet for this band, Fall Out Boy? Are you at all excited,” she asked me? Janna Thompson was a sweet lady and I liked her instantly. She was always willing to talk with me about pop culture. She would let me get off track if she knew I needed it. Today wasn’t a rough day so it would be short.

“I mean, I guess. I like the music they put out. I just hope they aren’t entitled rock stars. Mara seems to really like Pete so I’m happy she’ll get to meet him,” I said, shrugging. “I mean, we’re 23. I am all for her liking something like this but I feel weird. I feel like a kid or something.” Janna nodded.

“If it’s something you like, then it’s not weird and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Same thing applies to your friend, (Y/N).” I smiled and nodded. She was right. “Oh, and be sure to tell me all about them when you get back.” I laughed. She knew just how to help me relax.

-

The day of the concert came and I was attempting to straighten my hair. It wasn’t very long and tended to curl when I didn’t want it to. Mara came bouncing to the bathroom wearing a shirt she had gotten at their last concert.

“Come on, (Y/N)! We don’t wanna be late. Here, I’ll help.” I chuckled as she took the flat iron from me. I loved seeing her so happy. Reminded me that things weren’t all bad. Her nails were painted purple and she had managed a purple smoky eye that I envied. I could only manage eyeliner and even that wasn’t always great.

She managed to tease my hair into a presentable state and she pulled me out the door not long after. She blasted their new album and we sang along. She knew more words than I did but at least I was having fun.

“So, this is called “The Last of the Real Ones” and honestly it’s so amazing. It’s one of those songs where you just try to imagine the guys saying it to you. Pete is a genius.” She giggled. I rolled my eyes at her.

“Well what about the singer? He’s the one delivering all this emotion into the song.” I listened to this singer pour his soul out to some girl.

“Patrick. He’s an amazing vocalist. One of the best in today’s music if you ask me. Then there’s Joe and Andy who complete the band and are super talented.” I listened to the music and the lyrics. Patrick really gave it his all.

“I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me?”

Patrick, huh?

We stood in line with the rest of the fans that got the passes. Apparently, we were super lucky. There were less passes this time around. I stood with Mara as she talked excitedly with everyone around her. I told a few people that I was just along for the ride. I didn’t know the band well. They welcomed me mostly. Then the security guard came out to lay down some rules.

“You are all going to get the opportunity to take a picture with them. Then they will be able to sign one item. One line please. And do not push. We don’t want anyone to get hurt or thrown out.” Everyone whispered to each other.

“No girl here can touch Patrick but me. I will push if I have to.” A girl next to me was whispering to her friend. I tried to not laugh out loud. Why did some girls get so possessive over a guy they have no chance with? “Got a problem with that,” the girl said? I realized she was talking to me. Guess I did laugh out loud.

“I just think it’s funny that you think you have a chance with a big-time rock star. He probably has a girlfriend already. Believe whatever you want I guess.” I turned away from her.

“Says the girl who doesn’t even know who they are.” I ignored her. There was yelling as I saw first member come out. I recognized it as Pete. I felt a shove against my back and I tumbled forward and out of line. I tripped over my feet and fell to the floor.

I could feel my cheeks turn red as I tried to pull myself up quickly. There was some quiet laughing but it suddenly stopped. I stood and came face to face with blueish hazel eyes. I widened my focus to a boy with blonde hair and wore a fedora. His eyebrows were drawn together.

“Are you ok? I saw you fall.” His voice was smooth. Not super deep but it sounded like comfort. I stuttered.

“Uh yea. I… I’m sorry. I… didn’t mean to get out of line… um… I’m alright.” He smiled and I lost my breath. He was perfect. I smiled back and looked away. I stepped back into line with Mara, hiding.

“This is why we don’t push,” The security guard said. The boy returned to the other three. He was part of the band? How did I not notice?

“Dude… You know that was Patrick Stump, right? The singer? You shoulda laid one on him! You had the chance,” Mara whispered to me. That was Patrick. I glanced over to the band again. They were laughing with each other. Then Patrick glanced back toward me. My face flushed and I turned away again. Mara was grinning at me. “You’re so into him.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“Watch where you’re going in the future. You inconvenienced Patrick. You just looked desperate for attention,” the rude girl from before said. I turned toward her slightly. She was smirking at me. It was probably her who pushed me.

I kept my head down and talked with Mara. The line went pretty quick. As we got closer, I got more nervous. What did Patrick think of me? I bet the girl was right. I probably just look like I want attention. Not that I really cared what he thought. I shouldn’t care anyway.

“We’re next, (Y/N),” Mara whispered excitedly. I couldn’t help but get excited for her. I smiled as they called us up to the guys. Mara ended up introducing us both.

“So, I’m Mara and this is my best friend, (Y/N). She knows your music but isn’t super familiar with the band.” I looked toward her, embarrassed.

“Hey, no need to spill everything…” I laughed awkwardly. Pete laughed and stuck his hand out to Mara, then me.

“I’m Pete. It’s awesome your friend brought you along.” I shook his hand and smiled.

“Joe.”

“Andy.”

I shook their hands, feeling much more comfortable. I looked toward the last guy. Patrick.

“I’m Patrick. We met earlier in a bit of a weird way.” I laughed awkwardly and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Yea, someone pushed me. I’m alright though. I appreciate the concern.” I didn’t want to call out the girl that pushed me. That would be mean and I wasn’t going to fall to her level. He glanced over my shoulder momentarily then smiled at me.

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s do this,” Patrick said. Mara suggested hugs and I agreed. I wasn’t going to spoil her chance with Pete. We stood next to each other, laughing slightly. Pete wrapped his arms around her and Joe hugged Pete’s shoulders. It was a funny sight to watch. I felt a pair of arms grab me, pulling me against a sturdy and warm body. I turned my head to see Patrick with a grin on his face.

“This ok,” he asked? I giggled a bit. Oh god, what was happening to me.

“Yea, it’s fine.” I smiled and turned towards the camera. It was quick and the security guard was telling us to move along. Patrick’s arms dropped from around me slower than normal, like he was lingering.

“Talk more in a bit.” I was going to respond but Mara was pulling me to the next line. She had this grin on her face and put her hands on her hips.

“Ok. There is no way that’s he’s not into you. You better try and get his number. I saw the way he looked at you. And look at this,” she pulled out her phone to show me the picture we took. Everyone looked like they were laughing at the camera except for Patrick. He was looking at me. I flushed.

“So, he forgot to look at the camera, doesn’t mean he’s into me,” I said. Mara rolled her eyes at me. The last time a guy was interested in me, he just wanted me for sex. I looked back to see what the guys were doing. I watched as the girl that pushed me kissed Patrick’s cheek quickly. Some of the other fans in both lines made unimpressed sounds. I heard a girl in front of us speak.

“You’re not supposed to do that. It makes things uncomfortable for everyone. And if one person does it, other people will think its ok when it’s not.” I looked over at Patrick and he was smiling but you could tell he was uncomfortable.

The girl seemed proud of herself as she shamelessly flirted and held onto Patrick. The security guard had to step in briefly. He didn’t have to pull her off but she was trying to take as much time as possible.

The girl gave me a smirk as she sauntered up to me. Mara and I rolled our eyes at each other. I attempted to ignore her for the rest of the meet and greet.

The guys sat down at a long table and pulled out pens and markers. This went slower than the pictures it seemed. Some fans gave them small gifts or asked for handwritten lyrics. Others cried and told their whole life stories. All the guys were sweet and patient with every fan they talked to. Mara practically bounced up to Pete who was the first in line. I chuckled at her enthusiasm. She thanked him over and over again for his lyrics and told him how amazing it was that he talked about mental illness.

Then she began to move on and I stepped up to the table, handing my autograph book to Pete.

“Hey, you’re the new girl, right? (Y/N)?” I laughed awkwardly. Great, now I was the ‘new girl.’

“Yea. Course I kinda wish Mara didn’t spill that little secret.” He laughed and signed my book.

“Can I tell you a secret? Just promise you won’t tell Patrick I told you this. He likes you. Ask him for his number. It’d be funny to see him flustered over a girl.” Pete glanced down to the end of the line where Patrick was accepting a small drawing from a fan. I blushed and Pete winked at me. I took my journal and moved on to Andy.

“Pete’s right ya know. It’s been a while since he’s been interested in a girl.” I glanced down the line again.

“I like your tattoos by the way. They’re super awesome and colorful,” I told him. He laughed and told me where he got some of them done.

Joe and I talked about his guitar and various types of music. I didn’t think he heard what Pete had said but as I went to move on he winked and nodded his head toward Patrick.

“Hey, hope the other guys didn’t scare you off.” I smiled and handed him my book.

“Well they certainly like to make you a joke. You all must be great friends.” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“What did they tell you about me? Am I going to have to yell at them,” he looked concerned but still lighthearted.

“Nothing too bad. Just that you were actually mean and use autotune,” I said. I tried to keep a straight face. He laughed and rolled his eyes.

“I mean to them. You’d need to get to know me and decide for yourself.” He signed my book and it looked like he hesitated before closing it and sliding it back to me. I took a deep breath and before I could talk myself out of the dumb idea, I spoke.

“Well you could give me your number and I could get to know you,” I said quickly. His head snapped up to me and a blush spread on his face. He stumbled over his words and tried to look anywhere but me.

“Um… well… I’m not really… I’d like to… but…” He cleared his throat and looked back up at me. “I can’t give my number out. Security reasons and all.” He grabbed my book back and found the page he wrote on and scribbled something below it. I nodded and took my book.

“Well I hope to see you again Patrick. I really look forward to the show tonight.” I smiled and walked away. Mara looked at me like I had grown two heads. A grin spread across her face.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe you asked him that! When did you get so bold?” She pulled me toward the rest of the fans. I giggled with her.

“Honestly, I don’t know. The rest of the band kept telling me to ask for his number just to see him flustered. He’s cute but I don’t know. He seems like a good guy but he is famous.” She started freaking out.

“The other guys told you to ask him? Oh, he SO has a thing for you,” she said quietly but excited. I opened my book to the page he signed. I almost choked when I saw what was scribbled under the signature. A line of numbers and a note that said ‘It would be amazing to know you.’

“(Y/N)…” Mara was looking at the page. I lifted a finger to my mouth to let her know to keep this quiet. I’m sure my face matched hers. She nodded and I shoved the book into my bag. Soon we were all ushered out to find our seats for the show.

Mara hadn’t been able to get pit tickets but because of the way the stage was set up, we were still a couple rows back from a part that stuck out. The lights went out and the opening act launched on stage. Everyone was suddenly standing. People still came and went often. Once the opening act was done, there was a thirty-minute gap before Fall Out Boy came on. Mara ran and bought us both t-shirts. The lights dimmed again and everyone screamed.

They launched into “Sugar, we’re Goin Down” and everyone sang the opening lines for them. I watched Patrick who had the biggest grin on his face. He looked like he was having the time of his life. They jumped around on stage and laughed. The energy was contagious. They rolled through their hits and the new songs.

Patrick ran out onto the “catwalk” during “Centuries” and everyone reached for him, myself included. He looked into the front rows and sang to us. Our eyes met and he stood in that spot for a moment. I waved and smiled. Then he was gone, running back to the main stage.

Once the song was done, Pete started to introduce one of the new songs. “The Last of the Real Ones.” But Patrick cut him off. Everyone went silent.

“Ok, so. Generally, I leave the introductions to Pete but I have something to say to someone in the crowd. Maybe this is really cheesy but this next song is a weird love song. You know who you are. I guess I’m singing this to you.” Mara grabbed my arm and I just looked at her. How was I supposed to respond to that? Would I even have the nerve to talk to him after that? Patrick sat at the piano and began.

The whole time he was singing, I tried to hide. I know that no one knew I was the person but I couldn’t handle having all of his attention. I was on his mind as he sang with this fiery passion and I wanted to shrink away. Of course, I was flattered but I didn’t know how to talk to him now. Patrick ran to both sides of the stage during the chorus before skipping back to the piano.

“I will shield you from the waves, if they find you. I will protect you.” I listened as everyone sang the lyrics back to them, my eyes focused on Patrick. I watched the big screen and saw him glance toward the crowd. Then he was up coming down the center again.

“You’re the last of a dying breed. Write our names in the wet concrete.” We locked eyes again. And he gave me this shy grin and I couldn’t help but smile back. Whenever Patrick came down the catwalk, he would give me some sort of grin or even a smirk. He tossed a pick into the crowd and I watched as everyone went crazy trying to find it.

The rest of the concert was amazing. But as we were leaving, there was a lot of conversations about the “person” that Patrick mentioned. There were the usual jokes about it being Pete but I tried to keep my head down anyway.

-

A couple days pass before I ask Mara what to do with his number. Was I supposed to text him that night? Or was it still too early to text him?

“Dude. This is Patrick Stump. You should have texted him that night or yesterday! Make sure he knows you’re interested. He’s a shy guy by nature. Normal rules don’t apply.” She sipped her drink as we watched the commercials. I sighed and opened a new message. I still didn’t know what to say. There were rumors all over the internet about the “person” the song was for.

“Start simple. Don’t want to scare him off,” Mara said. I nodded.

Hey, Patrick. It’s (Y/N) from the meet and greet in (city).

I showed Mara before I sent it. The reply wasn’t instant like I hoped, but I’m sure he’s busy. The anxiety started to show its face. I had waited too long. It didn’t matter because he gave me a fake number just to get my hopes up. He wanted me to think I was somehow different.

My phone buzzed and I tried to look disinterested while preparing myself to see who it was from. Patrick’s name lit up the screen and my heart pounded.

Hey! I was worried you wouldn’t contact me... I may have been a bit forward…

Mara squealed and neither of us were paying attention to the t.v at this point.

You surprised me, that’s for sure. And what happened to not being able to give out your phone number for security reasons?

Well. I determined that getting to know you was more important.

My face turned red as Mara freaked out. She was bouncing on the couch.

“Ok now you have to flirt back! Just a little bit. Remember to be witty.” I rolled my eyes at her. She knew that my family grew up learning sarcasm as a second language.

Mr. Stump are you flirting?

I sent it before I could rethink. It was risky. We waited impatiently for a response. It took a bit longer for it to come and that had me worried. Did I push too far?

Maybe. Are you?

I guess so. I’m a sucker for sweet guys like you.

Hey! I can be mean, too. Don’t underestimate me!

Oh, really? You’ll have to prove it to me ;)

I should have gotten popcorn for Mara. I wasn’t sure about sending the wink face but it had gotten playful and I was feeling bold. The fact it had gotten like this so quickly had me thinking he just wanted sex but at the same time, he didn’t seem like that kind of person.

Now let’s not get into this so fast. Let me take you to dinner first. You deserve it.

As long as it’s something like pizza, that would be great.

I smiled and tried to hide it. I told Mara about it and the fangirling began. Was this really happening to me? My phone buzzed again.

It’s a date. I’ll let you know when I come back to town. I gotta get to rehearsals for tonight but I’ll talk to you later.

-

Weeks passed like that. We would talk for a bit and then it would get playful. Patrick would always pull back early on. It was sweet but also a bit concerning. Did he not find me attractive enough? It was a stupid fear but it nagged me. I would tell Janna about us. I just never told her the name of the guy.

I told Patrick about my depression and family struggles. He told me about his battles with past relationships. We became close. We had started talking on the phone on a semi-regular basis.

“Hey, so I found some free time between shows. I figured I would come in and we can go out for pizza,” he said. A grin split across my face.

“That would be amazing. I’ve only been waiting forever now.” I laughed and I could hear him chuckle.

“Then I guess I’ll see you next week. Goodnight, babe,” he said. I froze for a second. He never gave me a nickname before. “Too much?” I shook my head but realized he couldn’t see me.

“Not at all. Just surprised me. I liked it. Goodnight to you, too, baby,” I said. He laughed and hung up. Mara poked her head in my door.

“So, you guys are officially a thing now?” I shook my head at her eavesdropping but shrugged anyway.

“If that’s what nicknames signify then I guess so. I hope so, honestly.” She smiled and left.

-

The next week dragged. Thursdays and Fridays were my days off from work so Patrick said he would come get me on Thursday. It also happened to be the day I went to see Janna. And the day my parents decided to stop by.

“Janna, what am I supposed to do? I tried to tell them I was busy but they insisted. I’ve been waiting to go out with this guy for weeks now and they just show up and ruin it.” I ran my hands through my hair.

“Did they say why they were coming,” she asked. I shook my head.

“Probably to nag me about not finishing school and tell me how much of a disappointment I am. Unlike my older sister,” I said, standing up and starting to pace.

“Just remember what we practiced. Kill them with kindness. If they see that you’re happy with your life, they will be happy for you, too.” I nodded and promised that I would try.

“And this guy that’s coming to see you? Does he know about your relationship with your parents,” she asked?

“Yea. He knows the general stuff. I just hope they leave before he shows up. They try to sabotage every date I have.” Janna nodded. The session didn’t last much longer.

-

My parents showed up just before Mara left for work. Great, now I had to be alone with them. They exchanged pleasantries but I knew they didn’t care for her that much. They claimed she was a bad influence. She gave me a sympathetic look and headed out.

“I told you guys that I had plans tonight. I don’t have anything planned for dinner.” I tried to be as polite as possible but my mom just rolled her eyes and turned her nose up at me.

“And we said we were coming over. You should be making time for us after all we did for you.” I tried to not groan. Instead I smiled.

“Well maybe on another night. I can’t really change the plans. I need a bit more notice than one day.” I clasped my hands together to keep myself from strangling them. My father crossed his arms.

“What could you possibly be doing that is more important than family? It’s not school and it’s not a job. Your sister would make time for us even while she was doing those things.” I tried to stop my face from showing my true emotions.

“Well I’m content with my job and life as I’m living it. I would really appreciate it if you supported me.” I tried to smile as I said it but it came out a bit harsher than I intended. But of course, they caught the change in tone.

“I don’t like your attitude young lady. After supporting you while you wasted time and didn’t go to school,” my father continued. I ignored his comment and walked to the kitchen.

“Would you guys like some water?” I pulled out some glasses and filled them with ice. I changed the topic so the focus wasn’t me. I asked about the bank and apparently, my father was now a manager of a building. My mother told stories about being a nurse.

“There are so many sad people that come into the hospital for their next drug trip. It’s sick. All the riff raff has access to things they shouldn’t.” I clenched my fist.

“You know Mom, these people really do need help.” She laughed and my anger flared.

“They’re just criminals. But the hospital can’t turn anyone away.” I stood suddenly, My chair flaying back.

“Get out. I don’t want either of you here. I have a date tonight and the last thing I need is to be in a bad mood.” My parents looked at each other and stood.

“Trying to trick another poor boy out of his money? Have something to offer before you start dating, sweetie.” My mouth dropped open and they made their way to the door. I hurried to open it. I just needed them gone. As I tried to kick them out. I came face to face with Patrick.

He held a small bouquet of flowers. He wore skinny jeans and a button up shirt with converse. A baseball cap instead of a fedora. My mother looked him up and down with a disinterested look on her face.

“So, you’re whoring yourself out for a chance at fame? Band members are always trouble…” She trailed off and I exploded. She was not going to do this in front of Patrick. Not him.

“Oh, my fucking, god. Just shut up already! What part of get out did you not understand? I don’t want you here! I have never wanted you here! If I’m such a disappointment, then why waste any more time on me? You have done nothing for me! Nothing! All you do is tear me down.  If you can’t be happy that I might actually be happy for once, then you don’t belong in my life. Don’t come back until you’re ready to actually be a family to me.” Tears started falling down my face and I couldn’t stop them.

My parents looked at me, astonished. They left without another word. I couldn’t look at Patrick. He shouldn’t have seen that. I probably just ruined everything. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. Patrick led me back inside and we sat on the couch.

He held me in silence while I cried into his shoulder. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there. Until I calmed down.

“Um, those flowers were for you, if you want them…” I couldn’t help but laugh. He was perfect. He pulled me close and I hugged him.

“Thank you, Patrick. I’m so sorry you had to witness the mess that is my family.” I felt him kiss my head.

“Don’t worry about it. I just got to see how strong you are. You stood up to them and that is truly amazing.” He pets my hair gently and I closed my eyes. He was so comforting. I could sit like this all day. I felt my stomach rumble. Food was annoying sometimes. I finally got the courage to look at him. I tried to smile reassuringly.

“I hope you’re still up for pizza. Because I’m starving.” We laughed and he helped me stand. He stood there, holding my hand for a moment. He gazed at me as if he were thinking of something. He shook his head and started to pull me out the door.

“Let’s go get this pizza. I know a good place. It won’t be Chicago style but it should be good.” I let him pull me to his car. He let me play 2000s alternative and would even sing along with me. I tried to convince him to sing along when “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” came on but he refused.

It was a nice evening of talking about music and tv shows. He was the lead singer of a world-famous band and this felt almost normal. But I had to ask.

“How have the paparazzi been? Still grilling you about who the mystery person is?” He glances at me with a shy smile on his face.

“Yea. Probably not one of my best ideas. But I would do it again if that meant winning you over. You’re different. You don’t care that I’m the lead singer in some band. You understood when I said I couldn’t give my number out. Even though I did it anyway. You’re real. You care about my interests. You wanted to know me. Not just the part everyone sees.” He fiddled with his hands as he stared at the table. I reached over to take his hand. He looked up at me.

“I’m so glad to know you, Patrick. You’re amazing.” He blushed and called for our check. I offered to pay for half but he wouldn’t hear it. We walked back to his car in silence. It seemed like something was off. Patrick looked deep in thought. He spoke before I could ask.

“I had a really nice time tonight, (Y/N). I want to do this again. But I also want to try something else. Um…” He took his hat off his head and tossed it on the car. He fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, I completely understand if you don’t want to, uh… I just figure… We’ve been talking for a while… um… I was wondering… could we… like… would it be ok if I… kissed… you?” He was adorable when he was nervous. Then the reality of what he asked me set in. I could feel my face turn red. He was looking at me with intense but worried eyes. He needed an answer, so I gave him one.

I stepped closer to him and ran my hands over his arms to his shoulders. His breathing picked up slightly. I began to lean my head closer to his. I whispered, “What are you waiting for?”

His mouth was soft on mine. His hands held on to my hips and pulled me closer. He made me melt. He pulled away and rested his head on mine. He had a goofy smile on his face and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Well don’t stop…” I joked. He laughed and kissed me again. It was firmer this time and my arms wrapped around his shoulders. I felt my back hit the car. I didn’t even notice he had moved us back. He pulled away again and his eyes were heated. I was like he was staring into my soul. I was trapped between him and the car and there was no place I would rather be.

I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him. He held me against the car and his lips were urgent. I nibbled at his bottom lip and I swear I heard him growl.

“(Y/N)…” We were both breathing fast and his mouth trailed down to my neck. I sighed happily. Then he was gone completely. He almost slid down the car from the sudden lack of support. He had stepped back and his eyes were closed. It was like he was trying to compose himself.

“Patrick? What is it?” I tried to step closer to him again but he backed away. I was hurt. Did he not want me? Was the kiss a test run and he realized that he doesn’t want this?

“Look. I just…” Here is comes. I braced myself for heartbreak. “I don’t want to rush you into this. I don’t want you to feel obligated to do something if you don’t want to. I just don’t want to screw this up. I really like you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking shy again.

“So, this isn’t because you don’t want me,” I asked? His head snapped up to look at me. He was in front of me in a second, my face in his hands.

“That’s not it at all, (Y/N). I want you. I want you more than anything. I just don’t want to force you into this. If you’re not-“ I cut him off by kissing him. His tongue was in my mouth and we were grabbing at each other like we were drowning. I was pressed up against the car again and then someone honked. That broke both of us out of our craze. We were both panting and then we started laughing. I had no idea if they were honking at us but I knew I wanted to move somewhere more private anyway.

“Take me to wherever you’re staying. I want you, too, Patrick.” He nodded and kissed my head. I hurried to the other side and jumped in. The ride was quick and comfortably silent. Patrick held my hand the whole time.

We went in through the side entrance to avoid attention.  He said that he never knew if the paparazzi would show up. We rode the elevator to the third floor. I tried to not giggle as I watched him get more impatient. I wrapped my arm around his waist.

“It’s really cute to watch you get so impatient,” I joked. He shot me a playful glare as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. He pulled me along down the hall as I laughed. Then I was against the door with Patrick’s mouth on my neck. My laughing turned into sighs and I heard a door open down the hall. Patrick broke away from me and we watched a couple walk past us. The woman looked at us with a knowing smile and I blushed.

“We should probably take this inside, huh?” Patrick pulled a key card out of his pocket and opened the door. The room was spacious with a king-sized bed in the middle. There was a window covering the far wall and it overlooked the highway. I wandered over and dropped my bag and jacket on the chair. I heard Patrick open one of the cabinets and turned to see him pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He noticed me watching him and raised his glass to me.

“Want some? I’ve had better but Crown isn’t that bad,” he said, taking a sip. I shrugged and walked over to him.

“Can I just try a bit of yours,” I asked? I had never been much of a hard liquor person. Not unless it was mixed into a fruity drink. He grinned and handed me his glass. I took a sip and started coughing almost immediately. It was too strong for me. Patrick tried to hide his laughter. He took the glass and set it down, rubbing my back.

“We’ll try again another time,” He said. His hand trailed down to my lower back and I licked my lips. His eyes followed the movement and he reached up to stroke my face gently. I removed the hat from his head again and set it down.

Patrick kissed me tenderly and I wrapped my arms around him. He walked us backwards until my legs hit the bed and I fell onto it. I kicked my shoes off as he crawled on top of me, kicking his off as well. His mouth landed on mine again and I fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. I felt him grin and bite my lip.

I arched my back toward him, trying to get as close as possible. His hands moved down to my waist and under the hem of my fitted t-shirt. His fingers on my skin startled me and I sighed against his lips. He stopped kissing me briefly.

“Are you sure about this? I can always stop.” I took his face in my hands. He was beautiful, honestly.

“Thank you, Patrick. But I know what I want. I want this. You.” He smiled and he was kissing me feverishly. I responded with the same passion. He pushed my shirt up to my breasts and I helped him remove it the rest of the way. He gazed at my body and smiled. I hid my face but he pinned my arms to the side. I’m sure my face was red. He kissed my neck and moved down over my collarbone and chest.

As soon as he let my arms go I tugged at his shirt. “I can’t be the only one losing clothes,” I said. He laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. Our bodies pressed together and they just fit. Patrick didn’t have chiseled abs or super defined muscles but he was warm and sweet and still sexy as hell. The rest of our clothing came off quickly. We laughed as my jeans got stuck on my ankles and Patrick tripped over some of the discarded clothing.

Then I was on top of him, both of us in our underwear. Our tongues danced as I rubbed my hips against his. He was clearly aroused and that turned me on. His hands fondled my chest as I traced lines on his skin with my nails. He laughed and he flipped us again.

“That tickles you know.” He entwined his fingers with mine and I giggled.

“Yea. That’s why I was doing it.” He shook his head at me and kissed and nibbled at my neck. I laughed and squirmed beneath him, pressing against the bulge in his underwear. He groaned as I wrapped my legs around him.

“Patrick please. I need you,” I whispered. He looked into my eyes and nodded. He kissed me softly as he started to pull my panties down my legs. I helped him kick them off. The cool air against the heat between my legs made me gasp. I started to push Patrick’s boxers down. He helped me and once they were completely off, he broke away. I felt his hand against my center and couldn’t help but moan. He teased me with one finger, then two. He moved slowly even as I begged for more. His fingers were gone in the next moment. He leaned down to my ear.

“Told you I could be mean…” He nipped at my ear and I half laughed. He was bringing up our first conversation. I could hardly make out the word, ‘please’ and then he was positioning himself at my entrance. I ran my hands over his shoulders as he pushed into me. I groaned and wrapped my legs around him. Patrick leaned over me as he moved in and out of me. He started slow at first but picked up the pace as he went. My arms were wrapped around him, my nails digging into his back. Our gasps of pleasure were all I could hear.

“Fuck, (Y/N). I’m gunna…” He trailed off as his thrusting became erratic and rough. It felt amazing and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came, too. He tried to drag it out as long as he could but couldn’t hold back anymore. He moaned as he exploded. I could feel him inside me and it was almost enough to send me over the edge. Then his thumb was rubbing against my clit. He moved his hips slowly but pressure against my clit was enough to drive me crazy. He kissed me as I came and moaned into his mouth.

After my spasms had died down, Patrick pulled out and laid down next to me, stroking my face. I curled up against his now sweaty body. I was comfortable. The soft glow of the lamp made this all the more sweet.

After a few minutes, I felt Patrick freeze. His whole body went rigid. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

“(Y/N)… I… I’m so, so, so sorry… I forgot a condom… Damnit, I’m such an idiot…” He threw an arm over his face. I froze for a moment too, then relaxed again.

“Patrick,” I began. He didn’t let me finish.

“I’ll take you to the store tomorrow. We can get you plan B or anything else you’ll need. I promise I would run away from this. I’ll take care of you. I’ll…” I cut him off this time.

“Patrick!” He stopped and looked at me, worry written all over his face. “I’m on the pill, Patrick. It’s ok. We should use one in the future but it’s ok. You don’t need to worry.” I kissed him softly and the worry turned into relief. He took my hand and kissed my fingers. We pulled back the covers so we could lay beneath them. We cuddled and talked about nothing and everything. A bit later we hit the lights so we could get some sleep. I thought of something and smiled.

“Oh, and Patrick?”

“Hmm?”

“My therapist does know everything about you.” He laughed and rolled over to kiss me again.

#patrick stump #patrick stump imagine #patrick x reader #band imagine #fall out boy fanfiction #fall out boy #i know it's long #smut #fanfiction #feedback always appreciated #requests welcome

[wardans]

It's Tag Time!

Rules: Tag people you want to know more about!

Tagged by: @aspiring-to-be-a-cat thanks babe ( ˘ ³˘) im so sorry this took so long orz

Were you named after anyone?

Well, i was named after some french actress named Anouk Aimee. The name is very popular in the Netherlands but not so much Canada 😢

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday actually. I was sitting outside (bad idea it was hella cold) talking on the phone when i started talking about atlantic cod and i dont remember what the joke was but it was so funny i made myself cry from laughing too much

Do you like your handwriting?

Hmm it's ok i think.. Its gotten neater over the last few years so thats good. And it's readable so bonus points ✌Dont even get me started on cursive tho... I learned it maybe 2x a week for a month in gr4 and then it was taken out of the curriculum so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What’s your favorite lunch meat?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAMM !!!!!!!!! Im just a sliced ham sorta gal

Do you have kids?

Well i certainly hope not! ;D nah im barely an adult anyways. But kids love me for some reason tho

If you were a different person, would you be friends with you?

Idk tbh. I would hope so. If we were i would pray to literally anything that other me could cook so they could teach me their ways. My family? Great cooks, etc. Me? Not so much. Anyways we would both enjoy memes and singing to disney movies and mamma mia and dreaming of sleeping forever (and riding the bull ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

Do you use sarcasm?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Do you still have your tonsils?

Indeed

Would you bungee jump?

See i think it would be cool but i wouldnt actually go through with it. Unless i was blindfolded. Blindfolded means i cant see myself fall to my death

What’s your favorite cereal?

I just eat cheerios with raspberries;; although when i was younger my mum would occasionally buy Reese's Pieces I think which werent so bad

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Sometimes yes sometimes no

Do you think you are a strong person?

Surprisingly yea actually. Listen i lifted my friend one (1) time who weighs like 230+.

What’s your favorite ice cream?

I just had it like 5 minutes ago. Berry sorbet!!! I also really like lime. Sorbet icecream is my saviour ty.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm something that sticks out. It always depends on the person really. Some people i dont notice anything. But like one friend, something i always noticed was her eyes (the prettiest ever) or her smile! Or my mum has got her big german nose which is hard to miss. I just realized that i love peoples noses cause they can be so different and unique i love it. One friends nose literally reminds of Sera's it's adorable

What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself?

.... My eyebrows... Like they go from dark to light but it's so abrupt that it just looks like half is shaved off TT-TT so makeup it is and oh it does wonders. Oh and probably my hands... theyre so small, theyre like tiny sausages i hate it and my feet are super small.. like size 4.5 or 5 if im lucky

What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now?

Im wearing grey track pants that i totally didnt steal from my friendo and Iron Bull shirt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (thanks bioware)

What are you listening to right now?

...... What is Love by Haddaway

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Black, like my soul

Favorite smell?

Hmm, melted cheese.... And when the Khans (family friends) make Biryani or Samosas or Tandoori or Curry they are the best smells ever..! Hm the cold crisp air and pine trees in winter as well!

Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?

My friend actually! (sorry mum)

Favorite sport to watch?

Haha sports? What sports? Ok i have watched football (european) with my family. Europeans are crazy about football my god. I was there during the world cup and oh dear when the Netherlands lost....

Hair color?

Well naturally im blonde but i dyed it red violet last december which is essentially hot pink but with more purple in the mix but then i tried this lighter almost pastel pink. Idk if i should go back to blonde or do something else tho :0

Eye color?

Blue like my mamas

Do you wear contacts?

Nah just glasses when i remember to :D

Favorite food?

I had mac n makhani last night and idek what it is but it was good so yea that. And lasagna. What can i say i really like cheese. Oh ooh and butter chicken! And this pulled pork poutine i got from a Jamaican restaurant one time.... It was so good....

Scary movie or comedy?

I hate scary movies. When i first watched Jaws when i was 13/14 i had nightmares for months. So comedy. There was a comedy/horror that i loved tho; Tucker and Dale: Forces of Evil or something like that.

Last movie you watched?

I wanna say Thor: Ragnorak (so good) but it was actually Moana (again for the 100th time)

What color shirt are you wearing?

It's grey with one of Bulls tarots on it (blessed). Its got a little bit of paint on it tho :'(

Summer or winter?

Winter. Oh, worm? Although i love spring because it rains so much hell yesss

Hugs or kisses?

I deprived myself of affection for years, thanks! depression! So now i make up for it hugging all the people i care about. Occasionally i'll give friends smooches on the cheeks if theyre comfortable with it too

Book you’re currently reading?

Haha whats reading? I havent read anything in forever. Im still trying to finish The Danish Girl, The Outlander series, The Serpent of Essex and The Girl of Fire and Thorns which I got like 6 years ago at a scholastic book fair

Who do you miss right now?

My mum and my cat and my friends and family T-T and Asra & Nadia & Oleg & Parthurnaax pls let them be safe and happy and basically ever vg character that i love ;u;

What’s on your mouse pad?

Ive never used one of those ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but my german oma and opa got me one a long time ago with some famous german mouse thing on it. Kinda cute kinda not

What’s the last TV program you watched?

This tv show called Blackish was just on tv. It's hella funny omg. Also i turn on American Dad just for backround noise if that counts

What’s the best sound?

That music that plays when Asra is around, like in that cave.. It just sounds so magical ;u;

Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

Well i did just go to a Beatles Tribute concert 2 weeks ago sooo.. The Beatles it is 👍

What’s the furthest you ever traveled?

Austria cause for some reason we stopped there when going to visit family but it's farther than the Netherlands so like... what...?

Do you have a special talent?

Drawing I guess. Being outta school and barely drawing sort of took me outta the loop... now everyhing i draw looks ugly :/ I guess my hidden talent of writing for one ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ I learned to make coffees i didnt even know existed at work as well so?? Yes?

Where were you born?

Toronto actually :/ I was almost born somewhere else because my parents travelled a lot up until i was born but they came back... Goddamn

I tag: @queenlydweeb @ridethefrostback @mrjennety @backwardszombie ;D

#this is long & overdue aahhhhh #thats for the tag babe. ( ˘ ³˘) #how do i tag this uuh #the onion speaks #aspiring-to-be-a-cat #queenlydweeb #backwardszombie #ridethefrostback #long post #im sorry everyone most likely read this stuff orz. ... #mrjennety #hey gheykobé surprise it's me

[artslip]

1-92 enjoyyy

😑…. why you do this to me 😂

1) I’d rather not, that’s my mother

2) yup, he’s my friend and he sits next to me in music

3) no I haven’t

4) yea I do have a small issue with trust but I have many people I trust :)

5) I didn’t, I don’t like anyone that way at the moment

6) I’m excited for the school holiday. Just think of all the naps!

7) I went to my dance class

8) I haven’t seen girls get wasted yet, I’m a 15 year old loser XD

9) I guess a certain amount of confidence is cute? Over awkward like me isn’t great XD

10) water

11) I fully trust @kieran-sw and he is the opposite gender

12) all my jeans are skinny even though they’re not full on skinny on me, it’s hard to find the right size for my short ass XD

13) I’m gonna sleep until I’m too hungry to sleep, eat, try to draw, play the ukulele, play the piano, cuddle a cat, scroll through tumblr, watch youtube videos, listen to music and go back to sleep. It’s a busy day XD

14) I have no idea what I’m gonna buy next. Probably food knowing me

15) Im not going out with anyone and I haven’t kissed anyone sooooooo no

16) everyone changes so maybe. But I personally don’t change a lot for some reason? Even my face hasn’t changed much in about 8/9 years or so because looking back at pictures I look pretty much the same and my personality is also pretty much the same and I’m rambling and you get the picture so imma shut up and move on

17) I feel most comfortable talking about everything to @kieran-sw and my friend since we were even smaller @drawsmaddy

18) I’ve never felt so bad that I’ve felt broken but the closest I’ve been to feeling that way was a few days ago?

19) I haven’t no and I’m not planning to

20) I’m starting to realise that mY HAND REALLY HURTS! I damaged it back in March (on my birthday too) by playing against my own team in hockey (I hated them all) and I tackled someone and the impact of my stick clashing into theirs “bruised” my hand. It’s not broken but I think it’s something to do with my tendons. It was worth it though, my team lost each time XD i’m getting my hand checked out in the holidays though so I’ll find out what it is soon XD

21) I am in a good mood >:3c

22) I would love to swim with sharks! I was going to when I was about 4 but I couldn’t swim well back then so I freaked at how deep the tank was. But I can swim now and I would love to try it as I, missed a great opportunity!

23) My dad’s are green, but a different shade. His are more normal, mine are strange XD

24) I want a snack

25) I’d be a bit sad but I’d be happy for them both, and I wouldn’t really say anything. Their life, they do what they want :D

26) ,y current hair colour is a dirty blonde and that’s also my natural colour. I don’t see myself in any other colour, I’d look wierd XD

27) If they didn’t make me laugh then probably not. I’m a jokey person I want someone that I can joke with

28) The last thing that made laugh was my own joke :| I’m one of those people yes, I’m sorry

29) I quite miss @drawsmaddy, I don’t see her very often but when we do meet up its great XD

30) depends what they do.

31) no! @kieran-sw is a great hooman!

32) I don’t have feelings for anyone yet so I guess not because I don’t know him either

33) I’m not, it drink too much. But my dad keeps buying it so now I think I’m addicted to caffeine….

34) at the moment, my cat purring very loudly ^w^

35) I write my working out in pencil and when I’m at home and there’s no pens then I use a pencil because I have more pencils than pens

36) ask future me, she probably still won’t have kissed anyone XD

37) I do. It happens all the time to me. I’m just going about my day and then a dog comes by or a cat sits around somewhere and I’m overwhelmed with love at first sight ♡ (for humans though, no I don’t)

38) My mum

39) a bunch of people in my dance class just now

40) because they didn’t exist :)

41) around June 7th to June 10th?

42) I hug my mum all the time :D

43) honey I am an embarrassment ;)

44) I don’t tan, I’m like paper on a bonfire when I’m in the sun. So I stay so pale that I blinded myself when my arms are uncovered in the sun all year

45) I haven’t had my first kiss

46) no I didn’t actually. I usually do but last night I didn’t for some reason, I just slept

47) My mum, again hehehe

48) I do sometimes. When I’m home alone I do. When someone’s in I don’t. I don’t want to make their ears bleed XD

49) I do dance in the car when I’m travelling and I’m bored and get a burst of energy and have nothing better to do than embarrass my sister in busy traffic XD

50) I have used a bow and arrow and very badly. I’m better at rifles XD

51) I think I was 10 when that was last done

52) not all musicals, I’m obsessed with quite a few ;D

53) Christmas is stressful when I’m getting gifts for friends and getting asked what I want

54) eat a what now?

55) I’m not a pie kinda person. Soggy fruit/meat? No thanks

56) I wanted to be an animator, and I still do!

57) no but kinda? I dunno. Sometimes I guess

58) I do quite a lot yes

59) no I don’t, the only thing I swallow daily is a hayfever tablet XD

60) I don’t like wearing slippers so I don’t wear them. So I wear socks instead

61) I don’t wear a bath robe they get in my way. I wear a jumper like thing instead, it’s so cozy :)

62) I wear pj’s. But if I’m too hot I wear my old PE shorts and a vest

63) a concert that I’ve been a part of? I’ve never been a part of a concert. But I have been in shows in school productions and the local theatres since I was very little XD

64) I’ve never been to any of those, I’m brittish

65) I don’t care, as long as the stuff does its job

66) never had any of them. I’ve actually never heared of fritos either, what are they?

67) I used to eat sunflower seeds a lot. Not anymore though

68) I don’t really have one XD

69) I take Highland. But I used to do ballet, tap and modern dance classes too until I quit because even though I passed all my exams, so they’d never move me up so I’d be stuck with younger kids. Plus a boy kept pinning me into a corner calling me “hot” and i didnt like it and he clearly needed to get his eyes tested because I am definitely not hot, I’m a small potato XD

70) I’m 15, I’m not looking that far forward yet

71) I can. I can also made a triple curl in my tongue to make a clover shape, it’s wierd XD

72) I’ve never had a spelling bee

73) I have, I do that quite a lot actually

74) the maze runner series is quite good. Those are the last books I read and I enjoyed them so I guess those are my favourites XD

75) It depends what it is I’m studying really

76) I don’t burn it at all but a couple of friends do and I like it

77) once? I think?

78) I don’t know, I’ve seen quite a lot of people. I’d probably really wanna go if dodie did one? But I probably wouldn’t be able to go

79) it was one I went to with guiding. Saw a bunch of cool people

80) I don’t drink tea or hot drinks

81) the answer is basically the same as 80’s

82) ooooh… That’s a hard decision… white chocolate chip maybe? There’s so many!

83) I can swim well yes, I even had lifeguard training at one point :D

84) it’s pretty easy to hold your breath without holding your nose, is that a thing? Do people have to do that? Huh, I learned a thing today hehehe

85) I’m quite patient when I want to be. I’m patient enough to get through all these questions so I must be hehehe

86) I don’t know, I’ve only been to 2 wedding receptions and both had a DJ playing some pretty cool songs

87) I win the adults photography competition quite a lot. Never the kids one, I think they tend to go for the school’s photos instead of one’s taken with a big camera and not a tiny one hehehe. The prize is the same anyway

88) despite my ugly face, I wouldn’t have plastic surgery unless I got acid or serious burns on my face and it was necessary

89) ew olives

90) people can do what they want, as long as they’re sure that they’re ready then that’s fine by me. Athough underage sex isn’t really the best idea in my opinion but still, you do what you want, your life, live it how you want as long as it doesn’t effect other people

91) at some point yes I do :)

Finally! That took some time XD