#a perfect example really

[queen-scribbles]

add this to the list of things that annoy me about Lana*

#queen in space #*i guess it's more how bioware *utilizes* lana than the character herself? #there are some things about her that annoy me #(not enough to outright dislike/hate her like liara and some others #just enough to stick her in the ambivalent camp with koth ''valkorion fanboy'' vortena) #but that they use her as the easy way out of ''why can't i X?'' or ''why would i do Y?'' situations with a handwavy ''lana said so'' #like this is a good example #a perfect example really #rather than have lana turn away a (back-up) sis contact who's on slightly less shaky standing than theron #(who LEFT the sis during your carbonite nap) #which feels like an ooc move for your canonically pragmatic advisor #lean into the fact jonas mentions being on denon while the trooper's running sor #we know things got REAL messy there during arcann's reign #use that (i have plans for the conjunction of those two facts in a longfic :3) #he got tied up there in some sense #OR he was on a deep cover op since he clearly still feels the sis is where he can do the most good #given he stayed throug hall of saresh's fuckery #(and not wanting to lose his job puts limits on how much he #helps with tracking down the deadeyes on jorgan's questline so there's precedent for him putting high priority on his job) #idk i just think there are many better explanations for jonas not joining than ''lana wouldn't let him get in touch with you''?????? #and there's other spots where they use lana as the handwave ''bc i said so'' character bc they wanna streamline the story #i understand wanting to streamline the story there's way too many variables to let us do *everything* #(I say as someone who desperately wished elara mentioned aleksei in that bonus 1-on-1 the trooper gets with her #TELL ME HOW YOUR BROTHER IS DOING) #but they put like 85=90% of the explanation for why/how they do that on lana #and just hope she's enough a loyal badass people don't question it #she basically has plot armor at this point since they put in the option to let theron die in nc :| #she's drifting dangerously close to ''bioware assigned bestie'' territory #and it has me very 'eh' about a character i would normally like a lot more #(i do wanna be clear about that.

[maxsix]

Details of DPR IAN | For GQ Taiwan (2024)

#dpr ian #christian yu #GQ magazine #tattoos #dream perfect regime #for the 2 people who asked about Christian posts #i can't imagine him as an Idol #he's an example of a guy whose vision and intent just doesn't really fit the boxes of kpop #his whole life is a mood

[ahalliance]

i think a crucial aspect of the codebreakers dynamic that is sometimes overlooked is how likewise enamoured phil is with étoiles . like étoiles is the god of praising and hyping people up so people tend to focus on how much étoiles thinks phil is the coolest guy ever but do not forget that phil also thinks étoiles is the coolest fucking guy to ever guy he will never pass up an opportunity to talk about how cool and strong and funny étoiles is . their relationship is built on their mutual ‘WOW this guy is awesome’ feelings for one another and it is amazing

#qsmp #philza #etoiles #étoiles #codebreakers #random 2:30 am thoughts #it is so important to me how similar these two are and how mutual their affection is #étoiles is just louder and more dramatic about it sometimes but do not be fooled lmao #also sorry im aware that like. other stuff is happening lore wise . with forever . but im off in my own world OANDKSJD #étoiles has this aura about him where people really want to impress him and catch his eye #looking at team green gay pandas . soarinng ethan blushing twirling their hair at every opportunity #and even though he’s more subtle and laidback phil is like that as well do not be fooled #like PERFECT example of this is when phil etoiles bad and pierre were hanging out at the coliseum mob spawner thing #and etoiles gave gifts to bad and pierre . phil saddled up all sly to étoiles and was like ‘well i don’t NEED a gift étoiles your sense of #humour and personality are incredible as is’ #and étoiles just started yelling at him /pos and asking what gift he wanted OSJDKSKS #i love them

[uncanny-tranny]

I think this topic is underdiscussed in the trans community, so I'd like to talk about it.

It's okay for trans people to mourn that some of us don't have the option to have children the way we'd like to. It is okay if a trans woman mourns that she is unable to become pregnant, for example, and there is no reason to shame her for how she feels. Equally, I think it can be inappropriate to tell us that there are other options besides "traditional" means of conception, like adoption. We know that there are other options, and that isn't the point.

I go back and forth on if I even want to be a father, and in both mindsets, I mourn that I don't have all the options I want to have children. It sucks. It really, really sucks. And it's hard to accept that this isn't my fault or my body's fault. That's the hardest part for me. But whether or not it's hard to accept, it isn't my fault - it isn't your fault, either, if you feel the same ways I do. Our bodies and our selves aren't the problem. We are not broken because we don't have all the options we'd like.

No matter how you feel about this topic, just know... you aren't a problem or a burden. No matter what your journey looks like, happiness and fulfillment can be found, eventually.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #dysphoria tw #i kind of ignored my distress about this but i think it's irresponsible of me to do that to myself #because i deserve to express my greif and anger about this. i'm allowed to and it is healthy for me to do so #i brought up that example because far too often trans women* are shamed if they wished to bear children through pregnancy... #...asterisk because it isn't only trans women who have this wish but unfortunately i only have so many characters per tag #i'd probably adopt but the adoption process is far from perfect and some of the shit adoptees have opened up about is really upsetting #adoption can be beautiful but it isn't a perfect solution and it isn't always going to be perfect #this has just been on my mind and i really wanted to talk about it #parenthood in the trans community matters and i wish it were discussed more

[torturedpoetemotions]

TIL that not only did Taylor get an interim contract with SAG AFTRA and meet all their requirements to create and distribute her Eras Tour film without strike breaking...

Not only did she give life-changing $100-$200k bonuses to all of the workers on the U.S. leg of her tour when it was finished...

Not only did she donate money to food banks in every city she toured in (which I learned when working with food banks in my previous role is a massive help to them and something they rarely get enough donations of)...

Not only is she undoubtedly releasing one of the films that will help keep movie theatres from going under while the AMPTP sit in their office buildings refusing to negotiate...

Not only is she, with that film, demonstrating the viability of what I genuinely believe is going to end up being the way forward for at least some of the entertainment industry, which is to cut the AMPTP out entirely...

But way back in 2018 or 2019, when she changed labels and negotiated her contract with Universal, she negotiated it so that if Universal sells any of its stake in Spotify, it has to share those profits not just with her, but with ALL of the artists on the label.

#taylor swift #she really did all this #like she isn't perfect but i do believe she genuinely tries to be a good person #and she CLEARLY supports workers and her fellow artists #it's a damn good day to be a swiftie #and she's such a big and visible name that when she does something other big artists do feel pressure to follow her example #she is setting a standard for artists operating at her level of money and power

[heartbeatbookclub]

I think, in a lot of ways, Monika and Sayori are reflections of each other.

Really, I think all of the girls are similar in a lot of their issues (self-esteem, anxiety, etc) and that's something emphasized in a lot of the stories, and a big part of why they all gravitate towards each other and work to create the club as a safe space for all of them, but I think Monika and Sayori in particular are just very much alike.

I think Trust really emphasized this similarity in the reveal of Sayori's poem, Become the Flower.

Prior to shifting focus onto the poem, Monika talks to herself about her real vision for the Literature Club. I think here, Monika points out what Sayori actually meant when she said that Monika was "trying to make the club [she] needs the most, out of anyone", even if she doesn't actually realize that yet. It's pretty clear that when she says that literature is a window to the real self underneath the person who's "forced to always smile and blend in", and is "forced to be perfect", she's really talking about herself.

I think that a lot of Monika's character throughout Trust is expressed more subtly, often in a roundabout way like this. A huge part of the story is centered around Monika's own personal struggles expressing herself, and that trait is pretty well exemplified in this indirect way of talking about her own struggles. I think that the reason why Monika's characterization here is so subtle overall is reflective of this.

And I think it's pretty blatant that this is statement is also meant to be reflective of Sayori, given that we immediately move from this statement onto the poem which reveals to Monika that she's been hiding her own problems. In this way, I think Team Salvato wanted to explicitly point out how similar they really are, and draw your attention to it.

I think that the way that Trust as a story is put together is meant to really emphasize just how similar they are even in their differences; spending a great deal of time focusing on Monika's own problems, to then showcase Sayori as the mirror to them.

I think the two of them make a very interesting pair in that respect, because a big similarity they have is that they very much place others above themselves, so they both end up individually building each other up while they put themselves down. It creates this strange back and forth where they each insist they suck and the other is great, when the reality is that they're both pretty fantastic.

In the statement Monika made to herself about her vision of the club, while it's clear she's talking about herself, she frames it in the context of somebody else getting those benefits out of the Literature Club, rather than herself. Throughout the entirety of Trust, she speaks dismissively of her efforts and her problems alike, while pointing out that Sayori is providing a lot of help. Sayori by contrast spends most of her time hyping her up and points out, explicitly, that Monika doesn't give herself enough credit. She also dismisses her own efforts, pointing out in most things she does, up into the climax, that Monika is a lot better than her at whatever she's doing. And when Sayori's problems are actually revealed, she explicitly says that she doesn't want Monika to worry about her, and that she doesn't want to have this conversation.

I think this all really shows that both of them are averse to tackling their own problems head-on, and I think this comes out of a fear of being vulnerable, since that's directly mentioned several times in Monika's issues openly expressing herself.

I think what makes Monika's particular brand of self-negging quite so disheartening is that she dismisses it out of hand as her being silly and dramatic, and in that way, she doesn't actually address the fundamental problem underlying it, nor does she actually address the statements themselves as incorrect. The amount of time she spends talking down her own problems as something trivial and silly, particularly in comparison to Sayori's problems, are a manifestation of her own desire to avoid the vulnerability of even having these problems, and it's just...heartbreaking. Sayori's denial is its own can of worms, but Monika's ability to so consistently minimize her issues when they are clearly still impacting her is so uniquely troublesome.

I think a big difference between the two of them in that respect is that Monika wears significantly more of her heart on her sleeve, so Sayori finds it a lot easier to directly target Monika's problems than Monika does in the reverse, but their individual habits of avoidance are coming from the same place.

I'm traveling a bit aimlessly in this essay, trying to tie things together nicely as I see them, but there are just a lot of similarities I notice between their actions and the way they think that showcase that they have a lot of the same problems, and a huge theme in Trust is expressing oneself, which both Monika and Sayori struggle to do, in much the same way.

I think a key similarity between the two of them is their tendency to catastrophize over a situation when left alone, mostly revolving around seeing the worst possible scenario for how they could've personally messed up the situation. I'm just rewatching Trust for this little essay, so there are two major moments I see Monika doing this, but I remember Sayori doing this...a few times, actually, throughout the side stories.

I think the spiral Monika goes into after reading Become the Flower is particularly important, as it exemplifies the habit of dismissing her own problems fantastically; in this case, she has an excuse. It's true that Monika's issues with her perfectionism seem silly and trivial in comparison to Sayori's, but that's exactly the thing: She shouldn't be comparing them in the first place! Her problems are real, and they clearly cause her distress, but because Sayori's own issues appear so much more serious than hers, she dismisses them wholesale as her being dramatic and silly. Because Monika's problems seem so small, she doesn't see them for the problems they really are. In the same way, because her own accomplishments and work seem so small, she doesn't see them for the accomplishments they are.

This spiral showcases Monika's biggest problem, the reason why she has such trouble expressing herself, and conversely, the exact same problem Sayori has. She doesn't want to be the center of attention.

Put another way, she doesn't think she deserves to be the center of attention. Her problems are so trivial; her accomplishments menial. Her fear of vulnerability isn't a fear that others will hurt her; it's a fear of being selfish.

Sayori is very similar, in that the reason she actively works to avoid showing any possible sign that anything is wrong is because she doesn't want anyone to worry about her. She doesn't want other people to dedicate time and energy to her.

I think that for both of them, this comes from low self-esteem. Sayori is self-explanatory I think, but I'd say Monika's perfectionism makes it exceptionally difficult for her to really feel accomplished in anything she does, which, coupled with her constant preoccupation with how she appears to other people (I think Monika places very high expectations on herself. I mean, Trust literally starts with her frantically apologizing and saying "I normally don't ever do this!" when Sayori finds her napping) makes it very difficult for her to feel confident in herself.

The fear both Sayori and Monika have in being vulnerable isn't that people will use that vulnerability to hurt them.

It's that people will try to help them.

And I think that's a really big part of why Sayori feels like she can trust Monika with her darkest thoughts, because she understands that they're the same in a lot of ways.

Monika created the club which she needed the most...and it was also the club Sayori needed the most, for the exact same reason.

I think it's kinda easy to overlook a lot of this because of the sheer amount of focus placed onto Sayori and the more explicit issue Monika has (insofar as the plot is concerned), but I think Sayori is exactly what Monika needs just as much as Monika is what Sayori needs.

#i'll probably be making a lot more of these sorts of essays on different characters + side stories #i just noticed this and thoughts it was really interesting to look at #i think there's not a whole lot of focus given to monika as a character through the side stories in general outside of this #probably because the base game gives so much #i think this is a really interesting showcase of the pressure of this expectation which monika has of herself to be perfect #one thing i didn't mention here is that monika seems to outright reject the authority/seriousness of the club president position #i think another similarity between the two of them is that monika seems to use humor to soften things which make her uncomfortable #which based on the flippant way she talks about setting an example as club president specifically #it seems like she's not exactly confident in acting as an authority in her position #idk i really have a lot to say about them. both individually and together. #musings #ddlc monika #ddlc sayori #ddlc #doki doki literature club

[thermodynamic-comedian]

its understandable that people characterize elias as a stereotypical annoying bitch disney villain, but i feel like the canon was trying to do something so much funnier with him. his main personality trait was never being petty or overtly evil. it was being boring and corporate. this is not loki, this is like. the narrator from the stanley parable. ok. this is mr. does budgeting for fun. he is an automatically generated manager who just so happens to be a 200 year old evil false prophet.

#the three things we as a fandom fucked up: #1. making elias a stereotypical charming flamboyant villain when really he's the boringest guy ever #2. making martin a morally pure soft boy when really he's an excellent example of trope subversion #3. making gertrude a grandmother figure when she's a single old woman with no family. she's perfect how could we do this to her #im probably guilty of all of these at least once too but trying to be better #tma #the magnus archives #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #tma meta #tma analysis

[paellegere]

"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them

#.txt #i've gotten to the point of relationship anarchy where i no longer understand the obsession with labeling relationships #there's a post floating around like 'it doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic the point is that they love each other' #and i get the message. however may i propose that distinctions such as that don't even have to matter. consider #bold claim probably. but whatever i didn't have the choice to think about love in a normative way and as a consequence i have thoughts #of course i am thinking about wincest but it applies everywhere. jopzier even #jopson views crozier as a surrogate parent but in an inherently queer way. does that mean he want to fuck his mom? probably not #but the fixation and need for redemption turns the traditionally familial relationship into something far more #do you understand #once you leave the normative behind labels become useless #do sam and dean love each other romantically or platonically or familially? consider: it doesn't matter. there are no words to describe it #their love is queer in the sense that it extends beyond normativity. society holds no sway over them. they are ungovernable #i find it ultimately unhelpful to discuss fiction in normative terms when the characters themselves exist outside of normative society #shows like supernatural and the terror are perfect examples. sam and dean were never normal and franklin crew left normal behind #the arctic doesn't care if you fuck your mom. the impala doesn't care if you kiss your brother #this isn't really about anything i just saw that post the other day and i was like. why doesn't this Hit for me. well this is why #however it IS helpful to discuss fiction set within normative society in relation to normativity. it's relevant! #most stories are not however set within the bounds of normativity. that's kinda the whole point of a lot of fiction #baby i explore relationship anarchy in ways that you couldn't even imagine #<-tldr #i have a tendency to write essays in the notes every time i post something. sorry about that. it feels safer here and i am skittish

[sweetest-honeybee]

Some people do kinda suck but I find a lot of joy in giving people really specifics compliments at my job and it makes their whole day sometimes c: 💛

#I had a very enthusiastic conversation about a lady’s hair and the way it was cut #she cut it herself! #I often like to tell some women that their purse is very nice and they’re usually very proud of their purses I’ve found #I will tell some people sometimes that the color of their shirt is so fitting for their skin tone and was a great choice that day #I expressed once to a customer that I loved the prints of his shirts and he came by one day in this one particular shirt #hoping I’d be there apparently because he wanted me to see the shirt because I love his style! #it’s so nice #I had a lady blushing once from head to toe because I said she looks like the perfect example of a woman #that face every artist draws for that reference #she was so beautiful #haha I like compliments on men’s facial hair too! #they’re proud of their facial hair a lot of the time #even soemthing as simple as they look amazing for their age which I’ve said many many times #like I said some people suck and I have yet to truly meet the bad eggs but man I just really like seeing them light up #when you compliment the littlest things they put hardly any effort into and think maybe nobody will even notice #I like pointing out those things

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but why haven't we had a time travel/fix it fic where after some shenanigans everyone decides to take down shinra, they split up to take out the important figures, sephiroth obviously takes hojo for any and all of a dozen good reasons.

And then hojo pulls a winter soldier sleeper code on him.

And then everyone is suddenly dealing with a brainwashed sephiroth.

-

Hojo has to have some way to control sephiroth as he grew into his monstrous strength and power, yes? And learned helplessness isn't enough of a reassurance your prized military leader powerhouse isn't going to wake up one day and realise just how easily he could paint the labs walls red with chunks of you. And because hojo is obsessed with total power and control, dealing with a murder machine with huge mental issues, it'd only be fitting he create his own emergency shutdown.

In the most needlessly traumatic and mentally violating way, of course. Would sephiroth even know, if he couldn't remember? Would he have long stretches of emptiness in his memories that never get explained to him, or would he wake up where he'd blacked out, just another day in the labs?

Imagine, his allies watching on the cameras, as sephiroth stalks into the labs, a predator sighting its prey, exchanging a few cold words with hojo, raising masamune... And then hojos mouth opening, sephiroth going stiff like an animatronic, rearranging himself on the floor where he stood, face hidden behind his hair. Hojo leaves the room and he doesn't move, doesn't respond to any comms or passing scientists accidentally rolling a cart over his coat and hair.

Hojo ordering sephiroth to reveal their plans, their allies, their resources. Sephiroth doing it. Hojo deciding to punish sephiroth for the rebellion with lab procedures, or hojo ordering him to hunt down his co conspirators and end the takeover. Sephiroth doing so, heavy in his steps, crashing through walls and doors, heedless now of morals or civilians, silent, unresponsive. So completely unlike the jenova malice they'd been prepared to fight, that sephiroth had been bracing against. No arrogance, no mocking, no dramatic battlefield or hungry glowing eyes.

The puppeteer becomes the puppet, and with it, every trace of holding back. The perfect soldier.

I imagine the first trigger word would be lucrecia.

#Hojo: *making his reunion theory* if you can't mind control naturally store bought is fine #Anyway there's no way hojo didn't have some backup plan for if his greatest experiment went rogue #Unfortunately sephiroth never went against his will even when he went jenova crazy. Because that WAS the plan all along #But fix its always have hojo unable to do anything against sephiroth and idk hojo is a Threat of the highest order #BECAUSE he's so staggeringly unethical but clever and has a tendency to shatter his victims minds #Like look at the falsified nibelheim library. The 'jenova' photo in EC. He knows precisely how to break sephiroths psyche open like an egg #And the winter soldier is a perfect example of what he could and would do #I imagine he made good use of it too. Whenever sephiroth acted out or if they couldn't restrain him for whatever reason #Or if hojo was too tired to do the injections himself #I doubt sephiroth would really know what was going on until it got caught on camera by people who'd show him the footage #sephiroth #final fantasy 7 #ffvii #final fantasy vii #ff7 #Also I just really like hojo/jenova parallels to go with the lucrecia/Vincent parallels #Hojo is basically the human version of jenova anyway. In terms of raising sephiroth. #ff7 remake #ff7 rebirth #ff7 crisis core #ever crisis #ff7 ever crisis #ff7 ec #sephiroth ff7 #sephiroth crescent #ff7 au #fix it au #In this case: everyone thinks it's a fix it au until it abruptly goes horribly wrong

[swaps55]

Not sure what it says about me that I am more alarmed people don't know how to download files from Google Docs than I am about Google's policies.

#fuckery #i keep hearing about how younger generations don't understand how to use computers #but seeing examples of it on my dash wooooo boy #granted #google drive's structure is a perfect example of why it happens #and why i hate using it #the sharing features being so convenient are about the only things it has going for it as far as i'm concerned #organizing files is cumbersome and unintuitive #finding things is atrociously and needlessly difficult #THIS IS WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND FILE STRUCTURE AND ORGANIZATION #word has plenty of flaws don't get me wrong #but i know where my shit is #and moving it around is really simple #i think i'm losin the thread here #ANYWAY

[leahdrawsstuff]

the fact that I just saw a tweet that was like “what character/piece of media do you think is a media literacy test where someone’s opinion on it shows if they can be trusted interpreting media”, someone replied with Toradora and OP replied “nope taiga is an asshole” bestie u failed your own test

#not art #Toradora is literally the perfect example for that original message and yet even the person who wrote it doesn’t understand #and btw taiga IS an asshole #that’s kind of the point of the show? but it doesn’t mean it’s a bad show lol #anyway if you think Toradora is a bad show because the spoiled brat main character is a spoiled brat pls just watch Kimi no Todoke instead #the reply got ratioed too like wow everyone really is stupid #I will defend this show with my life #Toradora #media literacy #anime #taiga aisaka #anime romance #rom com

[filmnoirsbian]

I think largely it's assumed that poetry and fiction, more than really any other artistic medium except perhaps for music, must be autobiographical in some way. If a story or poem is sad, the writer or poet must be sad. If a story or poem is romantic, the writer or poet must be in love and writing about the person they're in love with. In reality, sometimes a poet just wants to write about grief, even if they themselves are not grieving.

#richard siken perfect example #tcp #I've written many poems about fathers dying and this has led a lot of people to assume my father is dead #when really he's perfectly fine and currently building furniture on a farm in new york #there was a very good essay abt this topic i read once which was specific to women writers who get this treatment a lot #i wish i remembered the author's name #writing

[uncanny-tranny]

It's honestly fucked up to me how everything associated with wellness, like fitness and what have you, is associated with "being skinny."

I told somebody how I wanted to go to the gym after work, and it was surprising to me how they responded, "What for, you're already skinny," as though your only goal at the gym should - or can - be to "get skinny"

Diet culture and whatnot is a fucking disease.

#diet culture #fatohobia tw #ask to tag (genuine) #i thought this was a perfect example of the attitude so many have about fitness/eating/overall wellness #it's as though no other reason exists outside of 'lose weight' and that's fucking horrifying to me #like am i overreacting or reaching. like. genuinely is there no problem with this? #i was also really sad when that person talked about how they saw themself as fat (as a bad thing if that wasn't clear) #and :( #:( genuinely

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc. #Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ?? #Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

[inazumaclown]

kidou is more shy than gouenji about it but he's never beating the doting older brother allegations

#and haruna deserves it #wish they had more interactions #inazuma 11 #inazuma japan #inazuma eleven #kidou yuuto #kidou really is an example of perfect level5 charadesign #haruna otonashi #i love them so much #my art