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clonemedickix · 7 months

Text

Rating: E

Word count: 5.7K

Pairing: Captain Rex x OC General Lara Lin x Arc Trooper Fives

Warnings: clone SMUT - Under 18 DNI, foreplay and banter, P in V sex, P in A sex, threesome, oral sex NOT SAFE FOR COSTCO

Excerpt Summary - Lara has a very interesting dream one day…

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@anxiouspineapple99 @blueink-bluesoul @523rdrebel @mandos-mind-trick @jediknightjana @moonlightwarriorqueen @wizardofrozz @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @dystopicjumpsuit @villanousace

Lara was sitting on her hill, peacefully watching the gulls skim over the waves fishing for their dinner. It was a perfect day. The weather was a pleasant temperature, not too humid, with a seaward breeze that came from behind over the land and made the air feel more crisp and clean. She took a deep breath and sighed, lying back on the grass in pure enjoyment. Nobody was looking for her at the moment, she had no jobs outstanding, Rex wasn’t due in for a few more hours from his latest mission. She could just lay here and peacefully exist, watching the waves and sea birds. It didn’t take long for her to dose off, the lulling sound of the ocean dragging her down to sleep beneath the dull roar of the waves.

She dreamed she was back home on Earth. Walking up the stairs to her bedroom, she sensed someone was there in her house, and she was curious who would be waiting for her in her own room. Stepping over the threshold, she spotted the familiar form of Fives. Her heart swelled to see him again; she’d missed him so very much since his death. He was standing in his blacks, no armor in sight, and Lara took a moment to appreciate the smooth, broad shoulders stacked with muscle, the strong back tapering to his rather narrow waist, to the beautifully rounded, firm buttocks. His thick, strong thighs made her fingers tingle at the thought of gliding over their hard surfaces, feeling the edges of the defined muscles beneath the springy hair of his legs.

Fives turned at her approach, smiling lovingly to see her there. He reached out his hands to pull Lara to him, crushing her to his chest in a tight hug. The smell of him; Lara took a deep breath in appreciation of his warm scent. He still smelled like Dr Squatch’s pine tar; it only added to his rugged charm. Fives buried his face in Lara’s neck, taking in the smell of her conditioner that was so singularly hers. It had been a spicy, flowery note to her aura that had always announced her presence; the scent would linger in the room like a ghost when she left, and Fives would always know she’d been there. It was a comforting detail to the clone.

Lara nuzzled her face into the crook of Fives’ neck, her arms around him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much Fives. Every day. Everything about you.” He pulled back a bit so he could look into her eyes.

“Everything?” Fives gave her his little rakish smirk that always made her laugh.

Lara laughed. “Every. Single. Thing.” She stared back into his deep brown eyes, a rising feeling of challenge and need starting to burn within her. Could he sense it?

Fives studied her quietly, the smile never leaving his lips. “I think I could do a little something about your missing me, if you wanted,” he said with a low murmur near her ear.

Lara’s eyes sharpened with focus, desire shining brightly in her luminous blue irises. “Could you?,” she breathed softly.

Fives leaned in and pressed his lips to hers gently, feeling the softness of her mouth, reminding himself of the feel of her after so long. He started to press a little harder, feeling her mouth open to him, her own pressure increasing as she pressed her body more tightly to his. Fives lightly brushed the tip of his tongue over her top lip, a tentative ask, to which Lara responded by meeting his tongue with hers fully. Their kiss suddenly leapt over the edge of gentle to passionate and eager like a brumby leaping over the edge of a cliff to gallop down a mountain. The two were clutching at each other like they had an appointment with the gallows, trying to make every second touching count.

Fives broke away from kissing Lara’s mouth to make a trail of kisses to her jawline, then down her neck. He felt her back arch at the sensation, and she dug her fingertips into the muscles of his back, her gasps almost a wheeze of overstimulation. Fives started to guide her back toward her bed, carefully paying attention that she didn’t trip in the blind walk - her eyes were closed and she was clinging to him like a life rope. At the edge of the large bed, he paused, his hands roaming the curves of her body, then digging into her mass of heavy curls, while she did the same - reacquainting themselves with the planes and curves of each other, both about to start tearing the restraining clothes off the other.

“What… um… what are you two up to here?” A voice spoke from the doorway, causing both Fives and Lara to have small coronaries. Fives was already a ghost; Lara was pretty sure she felt her soul leave her body for a brief moment at the sound of Rex’s voice behind her. Turning to face him, a little shamefacedly, she was about to speak, when Fives beat her to it.

“Lara was taking me to church, Rex. Just a little daily worship of my goddess. Don’t you feel the need to kneel and pray to her?” His tone was half joking, but his eyes snapped with something of desire and eagerness. Lara looked between them surprised - was Fives making a veiled suggestion like she thought he was?

Rex studied them for a moment, and then quietly walked over to the pair. He stepped up behind Lara and pressed himself closely to her, leaning in to kiss her cheek and then her neck. Looking up into her wide blue eyes, filled with shock and curiosity, he smiled a little cheekily and said, “I love kneeling before my goddess.” Rex sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Lara into his lap. Lara looked up at Fives with truly amazed, wide eyes - a situation of this nature had not arisen in her life in thousands of years. She’d never seen it coming from her clones. Rex reached forward and untucked the hem of her shirt, running his hands up beneath it to cup her breasts. Fives reached down and grasped the edge of the garment and lifted it over her head, dropping it to the floor beside him. He pulled his own shirt off as well, revealing his beautifully muscled torso.

Rex unclasped Lara’s bra and let it fall to the floor, his hands returning to form a shelf for her soft, full breasts. Fives leaned down and kissed a trail along her collarbones, then down to the top of her breasts, then gently took her right nipple into his mouth, sucking it lightly, grazing it with the edge of his teeth carefully. Lara moaned at the sensation. She had a moment of panic, unsure what to do with her hands. Reaching back she ran her hands over Rex’s hardening bulge; he widened his legs a bit to give her access, and she massaged his balls lightly through his pants. Leaning her head back on his shoulder, Fives suddenly stood a bit and dove into kissing and sucking on her neck and shoulders, dragging a groan from Lara and a shiver of need. He pulled Lara up to stand for a moment, so Rex could work her tights down over her hips, burying his face in the top of her backside for a moment, kissing her and running a hand over her abdomen sensually. Lara kicked off her shoes and the pants quickly, and Fives reached behind her to pull the blankets and sheets down on the bed. Directing her gently, he pushed Lara to lay back on the bed, shucking his own pants and briefs off, freeing his hard cock from its confinement.

Rex stood quickly and pulled his shirt over his head, watching Lara as he did so, wanting to see her appreciation of his body as he revealed it. Her eyes were fixed on him, watching him hungrily. He undid his belt purposefully, slowly, almost in a teasing manner, then worked to unbutton the fly of his BDUs, one button at a time. Kicking his boots off next, he slowly worked his pants down over his hips, his hard cock popping free of his briefs, a testament to how badly he wanted her. Rex crawled onto the bed and made his way to sit behind her, while Fives laid down next to Lara. Fives pulled her onto his lap, clear of his shaft, pulling her down for a kiss. Her hair drifted around his face, surrounding him in the scent of cedar wood and orange, spice and flowers.

Lara felt Rex place his hands on her hips, pulling at her lightly to get her to raise them up, spreading her in front of him deliciously. Fives gently pushed her back, seeing understanding light her eyes. Lara leaned down and licked the tip of Fives’ hard cock, then took the spongy head into her mouth, gently sucking at it and hearing him moan. Before she could do more though, she felt Rex’s warm breath mist over her sex from behind, just as he ghosted the tip of his tongue over her swollen nub, nipping at it lightly and then pulling it in for a soft suck.

Lara’s eyes flew open and she couldn’t stop the primal groan from rolling out of her. Fives laughed lightly, seeing her face, meeting her eyes with his own darkly dilated. Lara raised her head a little, feeling Rex’s caresses behind her, sighed deeply and then leaned back down to take Fives in her mouth again, this time curling her tongue around his shaft, working him deeper with a careful bob. It was almost too overwhelming to do this, with Rex behind her, and Fives before her; she was afraid Rex would do something that would distract her from being careful. She felt him run his tongue over her folds, then felt him enter her as deeply as he could get himself with his hot tongue, and she moaned again as she worked to give Fives the attention he needed. She pulled at him with alternating light and deeper suction, working her hand at the base of his shaft and to massage his balls. She curled her tongue around his head lovingly and could taste his salty slick in her mouth, as he panted beneath her, working to hold himself back.

Rex moved back to suckling Lara’s sensitive, swollen clit, inserting a finger carefully into her warm, dripping wet pussy. He reached for the slightly rough, spongy nub within her that he knew was the center of her most sensitive nerve bundle, and pressed and rubbed against it carefully, applying gentle and then firmer pressure, feeling her body clench around him greedily. She was so wet and ready, he struggled to have patience. He heard Fives’ moan and knew he was getting close as well, and pulling away from her sex, Rex leaned over her back and asked huskily, “Can you take us both?”

Lara was breathing heavily, her eyes dark with arousal, the smell of both these men filling the room sharp as the tang of something burning. And really, all three of them were on fire, needing release. She nodded a little jerkily, somewhat off balance from her lust and excitement. Rex knew how she would want them without asking. He lay down on his back next to her, reaching for her with soft hands, as she straddled his lap. Fives moved to kneel behind her, his hands on her waist, gently holding her and waiting for her signal.

Rex gasped like a man burned when Lara eased his cock into her slick pussy, taking him all the way in one slow motion, like sheathing a sword. She leaned down and kissed his mouth deeply, their tongues sliding over each other in a slow ballet. She felt Fives pressing against her from behind, and she held her kiss with Rex as she felt Fives gently insert one finger to stretch her, then another, waiting until the muscles relaxed, before withdrawing. He raised her butt a little, pressing the tip of his cock against her tight opening, then slowly, carefully entered her, purring deeply as he felt the tightness of her with Rex inside her as well. Lara moaned deeply, the erotic sensation of the two of them inside of her nearly sending her over the edge, and she felt Rex squeeze her shoulders to steady her. “Not yet, hang on,” he said softly.

The two men started to move in tandem, alternating slow, gentle thrusts. Fives leaned forward some and cupped her breasts, running the tips of his fingers over the nipples and feeling their hard edges snap back in passing. He held them up slightly, seeing Rex lean up to take one in his mouth, suckling her, pulling at her steadily and hard. Lara bucked slightly, thrusting Rex more deeply into her center, feeling the stretch of both men inside of her, filling her up to an impossible degree. Over her shoulder, Fives made eye contact with Rex - he couldn’t hold on much longer.

Fives thrust into her gently but firmly, feeling the tightness of her squeeze and the sensation of Rex’s cock slide past his, divided only by the thin walls of Lara’s body. His fingers dug into her hips, and he closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep steadying breath. Rex looked up at Lara and stared deeply into her eyes - she pitched forward to kiss him, passionately, sucking on his bottom lip and even raking it with her teeth. Rex kissed her back, hard, feeling his own climax rising. He squeezed her shoulders and then reached one hand back to her butt and another he placed over her breast, kneading the soft flesh there, feeling her take her in deeply even as Fives drew back and thrust in. The friction finally sent Rex over the edge and he gasped, kissing her deeply and groaning as he spilled himself inside of her, the spasms driving Fives to his own orgasm as well. As they both came inside of her, the feel of their cocks spurting within her sent Lara into orbit. Her climax hit like a tsunami, rocking through her so that she suddenly thrust down on Rex, crying out as she bottomed him out within her, squeezing him of every last drop of his cum. She felt Fives holding on to her to support her from behind; he didn’t want her to hurt herself in the grip of her orgasm, so he rode with her, hearing her cries and feeling the contractions of her body around him. He coudln’t help himself, he leaned over Lara’s back as she shivered and moaned. Leaning down, Fives placed gentle kisses on her shoulder, carefully withdrawing from her, as she in turn kissed Rex slowly, lovingly. The aftershocks of her orgasm still squeezed Rex’s cock within her, and he reveled in the feel of her tightening on him, his seed starting to drip around him, making her even wetter than before.

“I could keep going, my goddess. Do you want me to keep fucking you?” His voice was rough and scratchy after crying out with his climax. He was so turned on by her, so in love that he coudln’t believe he was still hard, not even feeling the effects of having come once. Lara nodded drowsily. Rex rolled her onto her back and moved to stand beside the beside the bed, pulling her towards him and raising her ankles to his shoulders. He thrust into her smoothly and firmly, as Fives moved to be closer to her head from behind. As Rex thrust into her, Fives leaned over and kissed Lara deeply, his hand reaching over to caress her breasts, flicking the nipples gently, then wandering softly down to her swollen, sensitive clit. Lara moaned deeply, feeling him make gently soft circles around it as Rex fucked her, his thighs slapping against hers. There was no noise she could identify other than a rushing of blood in her ears, the assertive smack of Rex’s flesh against hers, and Fives’ soft breath near her ear.

She felt the wave of her climax approaching again, as Fives leaned over to suckle her breast, alternating between her nipple and her mouth. He gave her his tongue, running it over her hard palate, exploring her, tasting her, gently taking her bottom lip and pulling at it. Meanwhile he kept up the pressure on her nub, circling and applying pressure, feeling her muscles starting to tighten up for her finale. Rex started to thrust harder, pushing himself as deeply as he could get, feeling her walls start to close in around him again, and he saw Lara suddenly arch her back and let out a choked scream. Her tight pussy suddenly clamped down on him in rhythmic spasms and Rex lost himself in her, spilling over into her depths again, even as her contractions squeezed at him, massaging his cock deliciously. He moved within her for a few more moments, more lazily, wanting to savor the feel of her aftershocks and warmth. Finally, not wanting to overstimulate her, he leaned down and kissed her mouth softly.

“That was so good, my love. You did so good for me and Fives.” Lara heard Fives murmur agreement next to her, as he softly caressed her belly with his hand.

“I think we owe her a nice shower, don’t we, Rex?” Fives asked quietly.

Rex smiled down into her eyes, answering, “Of course we do.” He stood up, watching Fives dismount the bed and head to the bathroom to get the water on and warming. Rex leaned down and scooped Lara up into his arms, carrying her gently to the bathroom. Once he stepped into the large shower, he set her on her feet carefully, making sure she didn’t slip. Fives stepped into the shower with them, picking up her loofah and dropping some of her soap on it. The scent of lavender and vanilla swirled with the steam of the large tiled stall, and Fives moved to stand behind Lara, while Rex took some soap on his hand and started to rub it onto the soft skin of her front, still supporting her with one hand around her waist. Lara relaxed into his grasp, feeling them tenderly lather her , gently washing her body. They cleaned up all evidence of their lovemaking, while planting soft kisses on her wet skin, making her tingle with the sensation of their touch.

Rex ran his hands over her curves again, relishing the feel of the planes of her bones beneath the muscle. His fingers trailed down her abs to her mound, gently cupping it and applying pressure to her there, feeling her sigh in contentment and want. His fingers advanced gently, and he slipped one inside of her, feeling her spread her legs a bit to give him room, as Fives leaned down and kissed her neck and shoulders, tracing back up to kiss beneath her ear. He gently took her lobe into his mouth, biting it lightly and hearing her gasp. Lara felt her legs weaken a bit at the feel of Rex’s fingers applying pressure to her G spot firmly, almost tapping it or dragging softly across it, eliciting a groan from her lips. Fives turned her head to himself and kissed her mouth as Rex leaned forward to kiss her neck and shoulder, the pressure of his fingers getting more insistent, the palm of his hand pressing against her clit in just the right amount. Rex’s kisses trailed down to her breast, his left hand cupping her right, raising it so he could take the nipple into his mouth. He licked it, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, lapping at it slowly and then sucking at it slowly.

His fingers dove into her more insistently, and he knew he was on the right track as Lara’s ability to stand started to waver. Fives grasped her at the waist, helping to support her and hold her up so that Rex could continue his ministration, even as Fives worked to kiss and bite her on the neck, raking his teeth over the sensitive skin. Suddenly Lara fell off the edge, her orgasm rocketing through her body like an earthquake. Shaking, Fives took her weight and held her, as her body spasmed around Rex’s finders, and she cried out, tears dropping from her eyes at the intensity.

Rex looked deep into her eyes and said, his voice deep and sultry, “Did you like that, my goddess? Coming on my fingers? Feeling me fuck you like that?” Lara opened her eyes to gaze into his, the liquid brown pools shot through with golden flecks that always mesmerized her. She nodded languidly, still coming down from her high, resting in Fives’ arms. “What do you want us to do now, General? How else can we show you we worship you?” He saw her look change to something of exhausted defiance for a moment - his question struck her as slightly demanding, but damn they were making her feel so good. Seeing her hesitation and fight, Rex said a little more sternly, “Come on goddess, use your words. Tell us what you want me and Fives to do to your body.”

Taking a deep breath, Lara stood with Fives’ help and steadied herself. “I want to sit on Fives’ lap while you take me from behind, Rex. I want you to fill me up again, until I scream or cry or both, and we can’t function after.” She felt Fives laugh softly, his breath ghosting next to her cheek.

“You’re gonna let me in that tight pussy this time?,” he asked her, turning her head so he could get to her mouth. Fives kissed her slowly, a simmering lust on the edge of their action.

When he released her she breathed, “Yes. I want you to in my pussy, Fives. Who knows when I’ll see you again, get to touch you again? I want to make this last.”

Fives glanced over her shoulder at Rex and nodded. Reaching back he turned off the water of the shower and Rex stepped outside to grab towels. They dried Lara off carefully, gently, wrapping her up in its soft fluffy length, then both hurriedly dried themselves. Fives stepped over to her and swept her up in his arms, carrying her back to the bed still wrapped in her towel. He sat on the edge of the bed and scooted back to lean back against the pillows and headboard, pulling Lara onto his lap. She straddled his hips carefully, leaning forward to kiss his mouth softly at first, then more deeply. Fives opened his mouth under hers, his tongue searching for her own. They glided over each other, making out heatedly, her hands around his neck, her fingers spreading out to cruise through his short, thick hair.

She felt Rex settle on the bed behind her, on his knees. He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder, her neck, alternating soft sucks and little grazing bites with his incisors. At one point he nipped her a little harder, as if to get her attention, and she straightened, turning her head to kiss him, leaning back into his chest as Fives reached forward and undid her towel, pulling it off of her and letting it pool on the bed next to them. Lara could feel Fives’ cock hardening beneath her, and when Rex pressed himself against her back, she felt the tip of his own shaft stab into her, letting her know he was ready as well. Reaching below her with her right hand, she grasped Fives’ hard cock and rubbed the tip along her wet, hot cleft, seeing his eyes close in bliss at the sensation. She adjusted her seat and slid him home, hearing his moaning sigh at her tight squeeze, taking him deeply within.

Behind her she felt Rex press the tip of his cock against her other opening, letting it gently stretch the muscle there, waiting for her to relax, then slowly thrusting himself into her. She was so tight, he wanted to lose himself immediately, riding her until she bucked and he came in something near an explosion, but instead he took a deep, calming breath and rested his forehead against her shoulder. They all took a moment to get used to the feel of each other, breathing quietly simply together for a moment.

Lara looked into Fives’ eyes and nodded, feeling him slowly start to move within her, working in tandem with Rex. Again, the push/pull of them inside of her, their cocks brushing each other with only the thin wall of her vagina to separate their actions stirred the men to their climaxes quickly. Rex reached around Lara’s body to gently stimulate her clit, moving in small circles and giving pressure as he knew she liked. Fives held her body to himself closely, watching her face as they fucked her gently, lovingly. They wanted to give her pleasure, they wanted to worship her with their bodies. She was their goddess, the love of their lives, and they would do anything for her. Fives could tell she was getting close as she started to draw deeper pulls of air, started to arch her back into Rex. Rex wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head back into the crook of his shoulder, relishing the feel of them filling her up with their cocks. Fives leaned forward to caress her breasts, again suckling at her deliciously and tasting the salt of her skin, the residual of her soap on his tongue. He started to thrust a little harder, wanting to get as deeply in her as he could, hearing her moan as her finish came ever nearer.

Rex was being gentle from behind. He could see Fives’ eagerness to fuck Lara, to pound her a little from below, and he didn’t want to turn their pleasure into pain for her. So he kept a slow and steady movement, feeling her body squeeze around him, glorying in the feel of her smooth skin, the curve of her hips. His finger still made small circles on her swollen, tight clit, and he felt it start to spasm the tiniest bit, knowing she was about to finish. Looking at Fives he said, “Now Fives, cum in her now. Give it to her.”

Lara’s eyes opened like a cat’s eyes, small slits of pleasure that showed the glowing blue beneath. As she saw Fives let go, releasing himself within her, she felt her own orgasm hit her as Rex continued to stimulate her nub. Even as her climax hit and she bucked, Rex held her, kept his fingertip over her, applying pressure in a button pressing fashion, feeling her lose control as the contractions rolled through her. She pitched forward into Fives’ arms as Rex began to finish himself, thrusting into her harder now that Fives was done, the last vestiges of her orgasm vibrating against his cock in her ass. With one final thrust, Rex came, spurting thick, hot ropes of cum inside of her, feeling his own delicious spasms squeeze the last of his white gold into her. Rex bent over, placing kisses on her shoulder, then pulled out, laying beside her on the bed. Reaching over he pulled Lara off of Fives’ lap and snugged her body to his, while Fives took the damp towel and gently placed it between her legs to keep her clean from their endeavors. He lay on his side to face her, both men snuggling into her body, sated, feeling safe and at home with the goddess. Lara felt herself drifting off to sleep, secure in their arms, a pleasant fullness in her body, satisfied and tired.

Lara woke with a start, her eyes a little confused and wild wondering where the hell she was. The sun was bright over her head and she covered her eyes with her forearm quickly to give herself shade. A shadow stepped into the bright light of the sun; when her retinas recovered from their shock at the blinding light, she was able to focus on Rex. He wore a very bemused expression, his eyebrows raised and his eyes full of question.

“What uh… whatcha been doing up here, Lara?,” he asked carefully.

“Pretty sure I was sleeping,” she said a little evasively.

“And do you feel rested, after that ‘sleep’ you just had?” Rex quirked one eyebrow up and studied her with a mischievous little smirk.

Lara looked at him gaugingly for a moment. “Okay what was I doing?” She was waiting for the shoe to drop now. Had she been up here writhing and moaning? How embarrassed should she be. Who might have seen her? Oh god. Who might have seen her? Her face took on a comically horrified expression as the questions started to tumble around in her brain. “Please god tell me whatever I did, only you saw.”

Rex laughed softly and looked up, glancing back down the hill toward the town. “Far as I know, nobody saw you. But you were up here moaning a bit, and I distinctly heard you call both Fives and my name. So again I ask - what have you been up to in that mind of yours?” He knew in her pregnant state she often got quite demanding about her needs, but she’d never done this before. He was very curious what had been going on in her head.

Lara sat up, as Rex crouched down next to her, watching her patiently. He could see the wheels turning behind her eyes as she groped with the lingering heat of the dream, while she tried to come up with words that might explain herself to him. “It’s a good thing for you Fives isn’t here.”

“Because?,” he said slowly.

“Because in my debauched state, I may have enticed the two of you to take me together …” Rex’s eyebrows shot toward the sky. “… More than once.” His mouth opened a little in shock. Intrigued shock.

Rex sat back a bit on his haunches, grappling with that mental image. “So what you’re saying is, I shared you with Fives?” He had the most interesting smile playing at the corner of his mouth, like he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea, or simply didn’t know what to do.

Lara cleared her throat, feeling a dull creeping flood of embarrassment hit her. She knew she was blushing, and she brought her hands up to her face for a moment to hide her errant grin and giggles. Rex was old fashioned; she doubted she ever had to worry about him sharing her in the bedroom with anyone in this life. But she could tell the mental images of her dream intrigued him, quite against his will. “Um, yes, Rex, that’s what I’m saying. As I said it’s a good thing Fives isn’t here.”

Rex watched her face for another moment then stood and reached a hand down for her. Lara took the help and stood, falling into his arms when he pulled her to his body, wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. Rex murmured into her ear, “I guess I could always go see what Primer was doing…”

Lara gasped, scandalized and smacked his arm in surprise. “You would not!”

Rex laughed, surprised at her vehement reaction. “I could call Echo, I guess, too - at least he would remember what you liked… But Primer definitely has wanted into the club, you know.” Laughing. He was laughing behind his eyes, and was barely keeping in a real fit of chuckles. Lara knew he was joking - the man would never share her in real life at the same time as another. He wanted her all to himself when they were alone. But he was entertained by her embarrassment at the moment and was really digging the hooks in. “Hang on I have my comm here, let me just get Primer called up.”

Lara turned on her heel to stomp off. Over her shoulder he heard her words float back, “Do that Rex, and I’ll fuck him and make you sit there and watch.”

“Ooohhh, exhibitionist now are we? What if I like that idea?!” He saw two snapping bright blue eyes flash back at him as her pace got more choppy and angry. He laughed out loud at that point. Running to catch up to her, Rex grabbed her by the shoulders and turned to trot backwards for a couple of steps until she stopped. He quickly took the chance to kiss her, passionately, snogging her thoroughly for a moment, before pulling away and smiling into her eyes. “I can’t provide Fives for you, Lara, but I can do my best to remind you of how much I love you, if you’ll give me a chance.” He saw her expression soften, and added, “But if you call me Fives I’m gonna be forced to bend you over my knee and smack that butt of yours.”

Lara’s face broke up into a laugh, and she let Rex hug her to his chest. She kissed him back, feeling her desire for him rise, knowing the dream might never be a reality, but Rex was real and present and here, willing to give her everything he had for a moment of shared bliss. She ran her hands over his tight butt cheeks, grasping them and pulling his body to hers tightly, feeling the slight bulge of his hardening cock against her. As a last gesture, she ran her hand over his package, grasping his length firmly and handling his balls like a soft coin purse. He moaned softly in the back of his throat, his kiss deepening dreamily. Lara pulled away, and he could almost see the snarky reply before it formed and bubbled to the surface. “Okay. I’ll call you Primer.” She gave him a wink moved briskly past his body and reached back a firm smack on his ass, then broke into a sprint, laughing as she ran from him like a thoroughbred from the gate.

She heard Rex’s bemused, half laughing yell from behind her, “You’re so gonna get it, Lara! I know where you live!!!”

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cee-grice · 9 months

Text

When White Crows Cry - WIP intro

Book 1 of a planned duology

GENRE — adult romantic fantasy

STRUCTURE — features a dual timeline with a dual POV

STATUS — editing

THEMES/FEATURING — science and its morality, blend between medicine and magic, the horrors of resurrection, magical mutations, bodily autonomy, mental health and its deterioration, a hard magic system with a scientific basis, the dark aspects of academia, queer characters and their relationships, neurodivergence

SYNOPSIS —

For a year, Quil tried to find a cure for Endra's condition that threatened to take his body away from him. At the end of the year, Quil died. And that was supposed to be that. ~ Exiled mages rarely get second chances. The dead, even more so. Quil finds himself with both when, a year after his death, he is revived in the city he'd been long since cast out of and presented with a tantalizing offer. Join a research project that may revolutionize magic itself led by his former academic mentor, and in exchange, receive full amnesty. The problem? He'd rather die again than work with his former mentor who dared to drag him back to a life he'd abandoned. The counter-problem? This project could put a target on Endra's back, and there is nothing Quil wouldn't do to avoid that. So, despite wanting neither second chance, he accepts. Caught between his new eccentric research team, the people who'd mourned him, and brewing societal unrest that brings back far too many ghosts, Quil barely has the capacity to adjust to being alive again. The question of Endra's fate following Quil's death remains a mystery, one that refuses to give him rest, and as its threads begin unravelling, he quickly finds he'd greatly underestimated not only the extent of his fate's mystery, but the one surrounding Endra and his condition as a whole.

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS: suicide ideation, depersonalization/derealization, depression, PTSD, self-harm, (light) body horror

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added/removed): @writerfae, @tate-lin, @iriswords, @sternenmeerkind, @thecrookedwriterspath, @pure-solomon, @moonshinemagpie, @arowanaprincess, @scribe-of-stories, @thesorcerersapprentice, @stuffaboutwriting, @doriians

#wip intro #wip introduction #writeblr #writers on tumblr #wwcc wip #updated this finally!!! aehehhe

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gamerwoo · 1 year

Text

hansol: the lovers playlist

characters: hansol x female reader

genre/warnings: idol au, best friends to strangers to maybe friends again??, possibly one-sided pining??, angst in the beginning, fluff at the end

word count: 1,316

summary: so maybe it's true that i can't live without you; and maybe two is better than one; but there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life and you've already got me coming undone; and i'm thinking two is better than one

tag list (italics are unable to tag): @anissanightyoung @aceofvernons @mythicalamphitrite @caratluvie @juliettechokilo @liemwantstosleep @rubyreduji @ohchangyu @mingyublues @kamalymaly @ru-lin @aikisbbq (if you’d like to be added to the tag list, please fill out this form!!!)

perma tag list (italics are unable to tag): @minluvly @honeyylin @miki-chi @heemingyu @noraehey @awkwardnesshabitat @floweryjessy @woozarts @anothershorthuman @shuabby1994 @vernxnsfool @ti--red @etaerealboy @plants-w0rld @futuristiccomputerkitten-blog @thepencilkorner @shmooooo @dejavernon @slut-for-dabi @pussymode @iamxelia

a/n: things in bold italics are song lyrics and dialogue in plain bold is korean

previous song | next song | back to playlist

_____🤙: where did you want to meet?

Hansol didn’t expect a text back -- your contact still had the same emoji by it since the last time you texted -- but you didn’t expect to ever agree to seeing him again. Maybe it was because you were over him. Maybe it was because your heart had healed enough from the situation.

Or maybe it was because seeing his name pop up on your phone gave you momentary butterflies. It had been so long since you’d gotten a text from him -- well, anyone in Seventeen -- and it made you feel...weird.

Either way, the unexpected was the reason the two of you found yourself meeting up at a small, family-owned ramen restaurant. It was a place you and Hansol had discovered while driving around one night before getting caught up in an unexpected rainstorm. Neither of you could see the road through the pouring rain, so you pulled over by the sidewalk and saw this place’s crappy neon sign and decided to give it a try.

The owners were an elderly couple, and their grandkids helped them run it. The pair of grandkids -- they were around your age -- had mentioned studying abroad in America, and you remembered the boy had even hit on you when bringing you the check for your meal the first time you were there. The middle The sister rolled her eyes and called him a ‘stupid moron’ in Korean before switching to English because her grandparents shouted from the back for her to not use that language in front of customers.

Not only were they funny, but their food was amazing -- especially after being drenched in the rain running into the small building. It was one of the many spots you and Hansol nonverbally declared ‘yours’.

Going inside, you’d noticed there was a third person working now. He seemed a few years younger than the two grandkids -- and you assumed he was related to them judging from the way the three spoke to each other -- and the two grandkids were trying to teach him English. So you two listened to them teach him while you waited for your meals in silence.

Well, until you heard a familiar guitar strum over the small, black bluetooth speaker they kept at the counter to quietly play background music.

“We don’t need to show him this mushy crap,” the brother groaned.

“Shh!” the sister sharply shushed him before quickly saying, “This couple hasn’t been in here for so long, I thought they died! I wanna set a good mood for them.”

Hansol bowed his head to silently laugh, but he was surprised to hear you chuckle. He lifted his head to glance at you, seeing you shake your head as your eyes looked at the table.

“I can’t believe they remember us,” he finally said.

“We were probably their only regulars,” you shrugged. “Most days, we were the only people in here.”

‘I remember what you wore on the first day; You came into my life and I thought, hey you know this could be something.’

Finally, for the first time since you walked into the restaurant and sat down across from him, the two of you looked at each other. Hansol looked the same -- maybe a tiny bit thinner in the face -- except for the fact his hair was now a grey-blue color. But his warm brown eyes were still the same, looking at you softly like they always did.

“How’ve you been?” Hansol asked you.

You looked down at the table again, breaking the eye contact first.

“The same, I guess,” you shrugged. “Lots of schedules. We’re somewhat planning a tour, which is exciting but really tiring. I dunno. What about you and the guys?”

Like you, Hansol shrugged and looked away when you looked back up at him.

“Everyone’s doing good,” he told you. “We just got back from a tour, and now we’re doing some new Going Seventeen stuff. We’ve had a lot more downtime lately.”

“Love that we’re basically the opposite,” you chuckled.

Hansol let out a quiet laugh, meeting your eyes again, “We used to be so good at planning, though.”

‘I remember every look upon your face, the way you roll your eyes, the way you taste; You make it hard for breathing.’

Looking at Hansol just made every single memory together come back to you. It gave you nostalgia and...other feelings that you had either locked away or thought you’d gotten rid of. You were doing so well, and now here he was with his dumb brown eyes and stupid lopsided smile to make your heart race all over again.

‘'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay; I'm finally now believing.’

“Remember when you’d get caught sneaking out on a curfew night, though?” you reminded him, pointing a finger at him.

He laughed and rolled his eyes, “The time they literally took my car keys away.”

“Times,” you corrected with a grin. “There were several.”

“I think I still owe you gas money.”

“And for the slurpee.”

“Then maybe dinner’s on me,” he offered with a sincere smile.

‘That maybe it's true that I can't live without you; And maybe two is better than one.’

It was crazy how you and Hansol just started...going back. It didn’t take anything to talk to him and joke around like how you used to. It was like riding a bike. You picked your friendship back up and kept going like muscle memory. You really realized just how much you actually missed him despite convincing yourself for months that you didn’t just to get over him.

‘But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life and you've already got me coming undone.’

But you were setting ground rules for yourself. You were not going to let yourself get hung up on Hansol again, even if you did decide to be friends again. No matter what, you weren’t going to let yourself get hurt again. You weren’t going to read into things and fall the hardest in the relationship. You were going to be cautious and smart this time around.

‘And I'm thinking, ooh; I can't live without you ‘cause baby, two is better than one.’

Hansol, on the other hand, was already set. As soon as the two of you started flowing again, he felt it. He knew he couldn’t let you go again. He knew this was it. He didn’t have anything like this with anyone else.

‘There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life but I figured out when all that's said and done.’

Ivory was a great person and a wonderful partner, but she wasn’t you. He didn’t love her like he loved you. He genuinely did think he did, but he was slapped with the harsh reality as soon as you walked out of his life and he didn’t at least have your friendship to keep him satiated -- though the realization probably would’ve come along sooner or later even if you stayed by his side. And as the two of you continued to go back and forth, hardly even paying attention when the girl came over to bring you your food, all he could think about was how much he missed you.

So he told you.

“I’ve really missed you, _____.”

‘Two is better than one.’

And you couldn’t help but grin back at him, finally picking up your chopsticks.

“Y’know, Sol,” you began.

He beamed his signature gummy smile hearing his nickname come from your lips again. The smile that you hadn’t seen in forever, and it made you smile wider.

‘Two is better than one.’

And for the first time in a long time, you admitted, “I really missed you, too.”

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basalamander-corner · 5 months

Text

❦ - The Shifting Tides: NEW WIP INTRO

We fight for a future we ourselves cannot see.

❝ Blood spills at the drop of a hat. Lives are taken every day. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to fight, or be devoured. ❞

Cursed by the blood of a goddess, Saran Turakina has known a life of being less-than-human. His people are holindal, once regular humans now given the ability to shapeshift into draconic forms. To improve relationships with the Kingdom of Askana, Saran’s grandfather has arranged a marriage with their prince. While on a seaward journey to meet his future husband, Saran’s boat is intercepted by pirates, and he’s taken prisoner for a ransom.

On a ship far from home, and with only his two closest friends for company, Saran is forced to come face to face with the pirate king: Viridian Kambiri, captain of the Howling Wolf and charming leader of the Wildlings.

As Saran traverses the maze of secrets and betrayals that fester beneath Askana, it doesn’t take him to realize there’s more to the oppression and hatred towards the holindal diaspora than the monarchy is letting onto. And the secrets they hide is one he must bring to the light. But if violence is the only way of stopping them, then does that not make Saran a murderer, like them?

And if so, how will he stop them without losing his soul in the process?

More info below the cut.

❧General Information

A series that has been on my mind for at least five years. The current version of this draft started in 2020 during COVID, although I’ve had this idea in mind since early 2018 at least. It’s currently taken some inspiration from We Hunt the Flame, The Tiger at Midnight, and Beasts of Prey, although it has evolved into its own story at this point.

I consider it somewhere between Young Adult and New Adult in terms of ratings: most content is aimed towards a 16+ audience. I consider the genre a low/mid-fantasy romance. There’s a bit of extensive worldbuilding, but canonically the series takes place in an alternate universe where the meteor that killed the dinosaurs ended up being imbued in magic. Said magic spread through the earth, and is what eventually caused the holindal mutation. In addition, this Earth has a ring system of a similar intensity to Neptune, caused by the colliding of Theia. If I have to describe the aesthetic, it is an Afro-Victorian world on the cusp of its own industrial revolution.

❧Featuring

The tropes of idiots to friends to lovers, found family, secret royalty.

Themes of coming of age, trauma recovery, rebellion and war, self-discovery, sins of the father, and the deconstruction of “if you kill them, you’ll be just like them”.

A transmasculine and vincian MC. A bisexual MC. A queerplatonic relationship between three major characters, one of the MCs included. An aro/ace major character.

A cast made up of entirely dark-skinned characters.

❧Trigger Warnings

Typical fantasy violence

Blood and gore

Childhood abuse

Physical and mental abuse/trauma

Panic and anxiety attacks

Queerphobia

Racism and xenophobia

Sexism

❧Tag list

Ask to be added or removed!

@sharliexth @thecrookedwriterspath @andromeda-grace @wildswrites @hottubraccoon @likegemstone @iriswords @starlightelegy @words-after-midnight @andromedaexists @writeintrees @thegrievingyoung @pure-solomon @aalinaaaaaa @tate-lin @gltownsend

#writeblr #the shifting tides wip #wip introduction #wip intro #writing community

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loosiap · 10 months

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🎶✨ When you get this, you have to write down 5 songs you actually listen to and post them. Then send this (ask or tag) to 10 cool ppl✨🎶

Thank you for tagging me @themeasureofasim ♡♡♡ I added your songs to my Spanish playlist 👀 I will never miss out a music game!

I Can Only Be Me by Mars Argo - yt | spotify [I'm obsessed since it came out]

Alien Blues by Vundabar - yt | spotify [does it make me basic? lol]

Tango by Decadent Fun Club - yt | spotify [Stamina is my fave song by them but this one is winning with MV]

Następna stacja by Taco Hamingway - yt | spotify (it's annoyingly censored on yt tho) [what can I say I love Warsaw-core anything, don't judge]

Devil is fine by Zeal & Ardor - yt | spotify [I have no explanation for this one lol] Ok EDIT I realized this song might be a little too wierd to recommend so different I often listen by Zeal & Ardor Death to the Holy - yt | spotify

Honorable mentions because I'm annoying and can't play by the rules apparently:

Do śmierci mamy czas by Kasia Lins ft. WaluśKraksaKryzys - yt | spotify [because it's such unexpected colab but I LOVE that it happened]

Hipopotam by The Pau - yt | spotify [because she's everything. and punk rock is everything.]

Tagging YOU and:

@elvisgrace @spell-bloom @irueone @itsyuna @burnedspaghettidrama @xwhitepolar @megamassikalove @krabbysims @analog-mothman @frottana-sims

Only if you want ofc 👉👈 Sorry if me tagging you is annoying

#Loosia rambles again

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succubusphan · 9 months

Text

Two Man Team - Chapter 13

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

This is basically the epilogue, thank you for joining me in this journey and I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 13: Two Man Team

January of 2019

Having spent the holidays with his family without telling them about Dan was harder than Phil had expected, but he needed to discuss the situation with Dan first. They of course knew that Dan had returned to YouTube and that they had rekindled their friendship, but Phil had avoided any further questions on the topic.

After a bit of back and forth, he and Dan decided that keeping appearances for Phil’s birthday at the end of the month was not really an option, so they sat down on the sofa fumbling with Phil’s phone, opening his mum’s contact and finally hitting the facetime button on accident when he almost dropped his phone to the floor.

“Child!” Phil’s mother said.

Phil scrambled to set the camera to his face without showing Dan. “Hi, Mum!” he replied, his voice cracking from the nerves as if he was 15 all over again. “How are you?”

“Doing well, you know, tending to the garden,” she smiled. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing?” he said, sounding like it was definitely something.

“Phil, I am your mother. Don’t try to lie, you are terrible at it.”

“I just - wanted to tell you something,” he said, biting his lip.

“Are you ill?” She asked, sounding quite concerned, her face falling.

“No! Not at all. I’m seeing someone,” he said and almost slapped himself. Dan gave him a reproachful look. They were a bit past the “seeing each other” stage.

“Oh!” She said, her smile returning. “You have a partner?”

“Yes! I actually misspoke. I do have a partner,” he clarified.

“Well, that’s quite nice. How long have you been together?”

Phil looked at Dan with wide eyes, there were so many possible answers to that question. Dan shrugged and mouthed an “October?” at him.

“Uh, October - ish,” Phil said, looking back at her. “We were seeing where things were going but we - made it official in October.”

“Why didn’t you bring them over for Christmas?” She asked.

She was trying not to push, Phil could tell, but after he posted his coming out, there was no need to keep beating around the bush. “He, Mum, we can say it. It’s a man.”

She laughed, letting out a happy sigh. “Oh, I’m glad, Child. I didn’t want to assume or offend you. You know how much your father and I love you, we just want you to be happy.”

Phil did know, but he smiled nonetheless. “Yeah…”

“What can you tell me about your partner - boyfriend?”

“It’s D-Dan!” he said, with a nervous laugh. “And… well, you know Dan.”

“Oh, dear! I love Dan! What a sweet boy! Oh, Phil, that is just wonderful,” she said, sounding genuinely happy. “Since October?” she prodded, narrowing her eyes.

Phil laughed and looked at Dan’s beaming face, gesturing for him to speak up, but Dan only made a silly face at him.

“Yes!” Phil said. “I swear, since October. We took things slowly because of… the time we were apart.”

“Hiiii!” said Dan as Phil turned the phone towards him.

“Oh, hi love! How have you been?” She asked, “Can you hear me?”

“Yes, he can hear you,” Phil said.

“I’m doing well, very happy,” Dan said, with that tone he’d always used with Phil’s mum. He had always been a sweet talker.

“That’s all that matters then! Phil, you have to bring him over for your birthday!”

“Yes!” Dan said before Phil could reply. “I accept the invitation!”

Phil poked his side as they both laughed. “We’ll be there for the weekend.”

“Martyn and Cornelia are coming as well!” She said.

“Who is that?” Asked Phil’s dad in the background.

“It’s Phil! Do you want to talk to him?”

His father didn’t reply to her and just grabbed the phone. “Hello, son,” he said merrily. “Are you coming to us for your birthday?”

“Yeah,” he said and hesitated for only a second but that was enough.

“He has a boyfriend!” His mum said, sounding almost more excited about it than Phil.

“Oh! A boyfriend! That’s nice. Is he treating you well?”

“No, he’s horrible to me!” Phil said, theatrically.

“Shut up!” said Dan, blushing and slapping his arm.

“I know that voice! Don’t I know that voice?” Phil’s dad asked away from the phone.

“It’s Dan!” said his mum.

“Yeah, It’s Dan,” said Phil, still giggling about his little joke and the effect it had on Dan.

“Hi, Dan!” His dad said. “You found yourself a nice boyfriend there?”

Dan squished his face to Phil’s to be in frame “Sometimes I’m inclined to believe that no,” he laughed.

“I’ll have you know I’m a wonderful boyfriend,” Phil said.

Dan gave him a look and a cheeky smile. “He leaves every cupboard open after making coffees he doesn’t actually drink until they are cold.”

“Spend a lot of time with him?” Phil’s dad asked, reading between the lines.

“He stayed over one day and never left,” Phil said, with a laugh.

“Don’t say that, they will think I’m just leeching here,” Dan said, swatting at him. “I moved in recently, when my lease was up.”

“You could have come for Christmas then,” commented Phil’s mum.

“His family wanted him with them as well, Mum. Don’t worry, I will drag him over soon.”

“Good, you do that,” Phil’s father said. “Dan, take care of him for me.”

“I will,” Dan said with a small smile.

“See you then,” Phil’s dad said. “Bye!”

“Bye!” Dan and Phil said in unison, making his mum laugh.

“Bye, boys!” She said and disconnected the call.

“That went better than expected,” Dan said, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

“It was good,” Phil agreed and wrapped his arms around Dan’s frame. “I’m glad that they were so calm about it.”

“It’s because they knew, or they suspected. Your dad definitely knew.”

“He has been onto us since the beginning.”

Dan tsked. “I don’t think we were as slick as we thought we were.”

“Probably not,” Phil snorted.

---

When the weekend of Phil’s birthday finally rolled around, he and Dan were in a bit of a panic.

Even though the phone call with the announcement had gone fairly well, it was a bit nerve wracking for Phil because he had never officially introduced anyone as a boyfriend. His family knew that he was gay but it wasn’t something that he really talked about. They had sort of figured it out on their own and were kind enough not to bother him about it. And Dan was nervous to see Phil’s parents again as Phil’s boyfriend, this was also a new experience for him and he was still getting used to being out of the closet.

As soon as they set foot in his parents’ house, Phil’s mum pulled Dan into a hug and pinched his cheek, which was quite hard because of the height difference. Still, Dan bent down and let her enjoy herself. He beamed as Phil’s parents welcomed him in without a hint of awkwardness.

“Go take your bags upstairs and come back down to sit by the fire, we’ll be right over with some tea,” his mum said, gesturing to the sofas by the fireplace on her way to the kitchen with her husband in tow.

Phil didn’t need to be told twice. With the wind raging outside and snow threatening to fall, by the fire was exactly where he wanted to be. He took Dan’s coat and put it away before leading his boyfriend to one of the two guest bedrooms. It was decorated in muted colours and consisted of a double bed, two bedside tables and a few decorative items. Phil looked around and sighed, wishing that they were still at his old family home; this one didn’t hold the same memories.

Dan wrapped his arms around him, hugging him from behind. “Everything ok?” He asked, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I was just thinking.”

“What about?” Dan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I wish we could go back to the old house.”

“Hmm, the place where we first got together,” Dan mused. “That would be nice, but we can make new memories here.”

“Yeah,” Phil said and turned around, resting his arms on Dan’s shoulder and leaning in for a kiss.

Dan shoved his cold hands under Phil’s hoodie making him squirm and jump back with a laugh.

“You beast!” Phil said.

“Better?” Dan smirked.

“Yeah, but I’ll get you later!”

“Can’t wait,” Dan said, wiggling his eyebrows and walking out the door.

Phil shook his head and followed after him, catching up to Dan who was already on the sofa and sitting at his side, leaving the two armchairs across the coffee table for his parents.

Dan stretched his arms towards the fire and rubbed them together. “I am finally starting to feel my fingers again.”

“I wish I could climb inside the fire,” Phil added and Dan gave him a warning look. “It was just an expression.”

He knew that Phil was not being serious but with how prone to accidents he was, they could never be too safe. “I miss having a fireplace,” lamented Dan and Phil made a mental note of that.

“At least we have an aircon,” Phil commented, rubbing Dan’s back.

“True, but it’s hard to appreciate it during the winter months.”

“Here we are!” Phil’s mum said, walking over and narrowly avoiding dropping the tray before setting it down on the coffee table. “Milk, Dan?” She gave them a little smile when she saw Phil’s hands on Dan’s back.

“Yes, please,” Dan said, clearing his throat.

His dad sat down and reached for his own cup, adding sugar and stirring before taking a sip and smiling happily.

“You look so handsome,” his mum said, handing the cup to Dan. “Is this your natural hair?”

“No, I got a perm,” Dan laughed and Phil saw him relaxing a bit into his spot on the sofa. He took a sip of his tea and hummed. “Yes, it is my natural hair. I just didn’t like it before.”

“I think it’s an improvement from your previous look,” she smiled, blowing into her cup as she stirred her tea.

“Oh, absolutely,” he said, pausing. “So, how are you two doing? Do you enjoy living on the Island?”

Phil’s dad nodded. “Yes, I think this is one of the best decisions we ever made. We loved our house, but this is the perfect place to retire to.”

“We like to go on walks around the cliffs on most days,” she added. “I find the sea breeze refreshing and calming.”

“Sounds like paradise,” Dan said.

Phil could tell what his parents were hinting at so he decided to stir the conversation away from that topic. “When are Mar and Corn getting here?” He said, finally reaching for his own cup and taking a tentative sip, humming gleefully when he tasted the honey.

“Tomorrow, sometime after 3, I believe,” his dad said.

“Good!” Phil replied. “I think he will be happy to see Dan again.”

“Does Martyn know?” His mother asked.

“No. I mean, he probably did, but no, nobody knew for certain. Just Mark and his boyfriend and we told Anja recently.”

Dan nodded. “We were not trying to be super secretive about it, but we wanted to make sure that things were working properly before we told anyone else, if that makes sense?”

“Can I ask something?” She asked.

“Of course, anything,” Dan said, and Phil was tempted to say that maybe not anything but kept quiet.

“You know, Phil never said anything to us, but I thought you were dating back in the day. Then it made sense to me that Phil didn’t bring any girls over, just you. And Anja.”

“It was not like that with Dan - or with Anja.”

Dan made a noncommittal face. “It was kind of like that, but not really. We liked each other, definitely, but we weren’t officially dating, I would say.”

“We weren’t,” Phil said. “And Anja is a lesbian; she has had a girlfriend since… 2011 I believe. I introduced them.”

“You didn’t date Anja then?” She asked.

Phil shook his head. “No, she stayed because I was her gay friend and she knew it was safe.”

“Oh, and then she came over with a girl… and you slept on the sofa.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I thought you were just embarrassed to send her friend to the sofa to have some privacy,” she said in wonder.

“Mum!” Phil said, feeling the heat rising to his face. “I would have never done that with you in the house.”

Dan laughed.

“Are all of your friends gay?” His dad asked.

Phil hummed. “Not every single friend, but I would say that most friends I’ve made in the last few years are gay. We just understand each other better.”

Dan nodded. “I grew up and found out that not only were some of my bullies gay but most of my friends too, even though none of us were out at the time, and some of us didn’t even know yet.”

“I suppose that you find people that you can relate to and have things in common, if that’s being gay, or knitting, or having a book club, right?” His mum asked.

“That’s a good point,” Dan said.

Then his dad looked at Phil and caught him off guard. “Dan stayed over quite often when travelled,” he commented with an amused smile, apparently realising what Phil hadn’t meant to imply before.

Phil coughed but his mum was thankfully ready to save him.

“It’s so wonderful that you are back together now,” She said.

Dan nodded. “It took some time, but he thankfully listened to me when I apologised and explained myself.”

“Phil can be a little stubborn,” she conceded.

“He was more than a little stubborn, but I deserved it,” Dan said. “It was not easy, but I’m glad he had it in him to forgive me,” he reached towards Phil and laced their fingers together.

The butterflies in Phil’s stomach were still there and he could feel himself blushing, but when he looked at his parents he saw nothing but acceptance and perhaps a little relief that he wasn’t going to die alone after all.

“You seem like a good match,” his dad said with a gentle smile.

Phil’s heart burst with happiness. He could hear the pride in his father’s voice, the pride he had wanted to hear his entire life. “Thank you,” he said, clearing his throat as he tried to not get overly emotional.

“So how is… work?” His dad asked.

“Quite good,” Phil said, feeling thankful to have something else to focus on. “I have exciting projects going and Dan too.”

“Anything you can share?” He asked.

“Not yet, but you will know soon enough,” Phil said.

“Please give us a warning if it’s something important so we don’t hear about it from the neighbours,” his mum said.

Phil winced and mumbled an “Alright.” He took a long sip from his cup. “I didn’t tell them before posting my coming out,” he mumbled in Dan’s general direction.

“You didn’t tell them before posting?” Dan asked, looking at Phil out of the corner of his eye.

“No, he doesn’t tell us much these days,” She said, a bit too dramatically.

“Don’t say that, I just figured you knew already,” Phil said, snorting. “And I forgot.”

“We knew but we didn’t know!” She said. “And then we watched Dan’s video - which was so wonderful by the way - and we finally got some idea of what went on in your life.”

Phil huffed, starting to get a bit annoyed.

“Thank you,” Dan said. “It was a lot of work but I’m glad that you liked it.” He squeezed Phil’s hand in support.

Phil was grateful that his boyfriend knew how to suck up to his mum and stir the conversation away from him and how bad of a son he was.

“It was very emotional,” she said. “I quite enjoyed it, even though it had some sad parts. I wish you didn’t have to go through that.” She looked at Dan with deep sadness in her eyes.

“Well, it all turned me into a person I’m proud to be today,” Dan said.

“We are proud of you too, Dan,” his dad said and before Dan could react, he continued. “Actually, if you could come with me, I want to show you something.” He got up to his feet.

“Of course,” Dan said and followed him to his office, throwing Phil a confused look over his shoulder.

“Come,” Phil’s mum whispered then. She grabbed their coats and took his hand, pulling him through the sliding door and out to the garden.

“It’s way too cold to be out,” Phil said, sipping his jacket on and pulling his gloves out of his pocket.

“Oh, it will boost your immune system,” she said, holding onto his arm as they walked slowly in circles around the garden. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I told you, I am happy with Dan.” He interlaced his fingers to make sure his gloves were properly fitted.

“I know, I know. You do look happy, but I worry sometimes,” she said. “After Dan left - you weren’t the same for a long time. I don’t think you are the same, even now.”

“Neither is he. We both went through quite a bit of pain together and on our own,” Phil admitted. “And nobody is the same at 31 than at twenty-something.”

“That’s fair. I am just a bit scared for you too, even though I know Dan is a good boy.”

“We will be alright this time, Mum,” he reassured her. “The thing you don’t understand is that with him in the closet and me being only partially out, things were never going to work. At the time Dan wasn’t even able to accept himself, so dealing with that publicly on top of our feelings was too much.”

“My heart breaks for him,” she said. “I’m sure the relationship will work this time.” She patted Phil’s arm

“You can never be 100% sure of anything, but it took almost a year to get back to a place where we were comfortable enough to start dating again and we haven’t had any major issues,” Phil said.

She let out a deep sigh of relief and smiled widely. “I’m glad to hear that, Child. You two deserve to be happy and it seems that you are determined to be together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing bad. You fought through any sort of problem that came your way to make it to the other side and I think that’s what matters. No relationship comes without obstacles, the important thing is that you work to sort through them.”

He nodded. “Do you and Dad argue a lot now that you are retired?”

“Not much anymore,” she said, patting his hand. “We know who we are and what to do to avoid creating arguments. And we still love each other.”

Phil smiled. “What’s your secret?” He asked.

Humming, she paused for a moment before replying. “Don’t hang on to silly tiffs and never go to sleep angry. Solve your arguments before bed. That’s what your grandma told me and It worked well.”

“I will,” Phil said, getting lost in thought when he realised that the two year anniversary of his grandma’s death was coming. He missed her so much.

His mum caught up to the reason for his silence. “She was very proud of you, you know?” She said, “A few years ago, she asked if you were dating anyone and I told her that I believed so. That made her happy, even when I told her that it might be a boy.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears briefly. He wished he’d had that conversation with her but she had gotten ill and passed before Phil could make his way back. He shouldn’t have waited so long to talk to her about it. At least now he knew that she supported him. “Do you think she would have liked Dan?” he asked.

“She would have loved to meet Dan, but she knew of him from YouTube,” she said.

Phil’s eyebrows burrowed into a frown. “How?”

“You have to remember that Dan was the only person you brought home so I showed her a few of the videos you made together.”

“Oh my god! What videos?” Phil asked, half amused, half horrified. A single tear slid down his cheek but he rubbed it away quickly. Sniffling through the laugh.

“Only the more innocent ones,” she said, raising one eyebrow at him.

“I can’t believe you showed her that. You like to gossip way too much,” Phil said.

She booped the tip of his nose. “And you took after me, so I don’t want to hear it, dear.”

“Alright,” Phil said. “Thank you for the advice and for showing grandma a part of me I didn’t have the chance to share with her. It means more to me than you know.” He turned towards her and pulled her into a hug.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she smiled. “Let’s go back inside, you are shaking like a leaf.”

They made their way back into the house and Phil could still hear his dad’s voice faintly mid-conversation.

“...You make him happy. We were so worried about him these past few years,” he said. “I wanted you to know that you will always be welcome in this house.”

“Thank you, Mr Lester,” Dan said.

“Nigel,” his dad said. “In your video, you said that your father didn’t take your … email very well. Right?”

“No,” Dan mumbled.

Phil followed their voices and stood in the hallway, shamelessly listening in.

“Sometimes the people we love are the ones that hurt us the most, but the good thing is that we can find other people to love. We are your family, Dan.”

“I -” Dan paused. “Thank you, you don’t know how much this means…”

Phil turned around the corner and saw Dan hugging his dad tightly. He stood there for a moment, staring at the scene with a shocked smile and retreated to the downstairs bathroom to give them some privacy and compose himself. He looked in the mirror and smiled, still a little moved by his parents’ reaction, he hadn’t expected this much support from them, and now he felt guilty for ever doubting them.

After a few minutes, he joined his mother in setting the table.

Dinner went without a hitch and it came with a much lighter tone. They shared a bottle of wine over pasta and played Scrabble past midnight when his mum finally deemed the night over.

They said their goodbyes and climbed up the stairs to the guest bedroom. The bed looked so soft and comfortable it was basically screaming Phil’s name. He slipped into his pyjamas quickly to avoid the biting cold and slid under the covers.

Dan snorted a laugh. “Cold?”

“Uh-huh. Aren’t you?” Phil mumbled, only his eyes peeking from under his burrow.

“Not that much. I think the wine got to me.” He took off his jeans and pulled on a different hoodie before getting under the covers and scooching closer to Phil. “Come here,” Dan said, pulling him into a hug and dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose.

Phil sighed happily, slipping his fingers into the curls on the back of Dan’s hair that was beginning to grow just a bit too long for Dan’s taste. “Love you,” he said, leaning in for a slow kiss.

Dan’s hold on him tightened, his hand sliding under Phil’s pyjama top and resting on his lower back.

There was no urgency, no heat, just comfort and familiarity. Phil knew that if he chose to push Dan in the slightest way, he would probably jump at the opportunity to have sex, but they would have their fun at home. Home. The flat they shared for the time being before -

He smiled and broke the kiss, staring into Dan’s eyes in the moonlight.

“Winter is my favourite. I love the cold because I can hold you like this and sleep without us drowning in a pool of sweat,” Dan laughed.

“We can do this all year, you just have to program the aircon fairly low. You are like a tiny oven.”

“I’m not tiny,” Dan pouted.

“You will always be the tiniest of babies to me,” Phil teased.

“Shut up, old man,” Dan said, letting out a yawn. “Big spoon or little spoon?”

“Mmmm, big spoon,” Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan’s torso when he turned around. He kissed Dan’s shoulders and threw one leg over Dan’s, tangling it between his feet and smiled.

“You’re a weird one, Lester.”

“Your mum is weird,” Phil mumbled and shut his eyes.

“Happy birthday, Babe,” mumbled Dan.

“Mmm, thanks.”

This was going to be his best year, he could already tell.

---

The following morning, Phil woke up to his mum shaking him by the shoulder. He threw a hand over his eyes to let them adjust to the brightness. “Mum!” Phil whines, stretching his hand in search of Dan.

“Happy birthday, love!” She said. “Dan is already dressed and sitting down for breakfast. Wouldn’t you like to join us?”

Phil groaned. Why did Dan have to suck up to his parents by getting up early too? It was his birthday, he could have slept in. “What time is it?”

“It’s eleven already, so up, up! Off you go to the bathroom,” she said. “I made pancakes!”

Phil’s eyes widened. The one thing his mum didn’t ruin or burn to a crisp. “Alright!” He said and got up, changing into a warmer hoodie and heading downstairs after a pit stop at the bathroom.

“A pit stop,” he mumbled to himself with a snort. He needed to stop watching Formula 1 with Dan.

“There he is!” his dad said as soon as Phil walked into the kitchen, making him smile. “Happy birthday, son.”

“Thank you,” Phil said.

Dan reached out to him and pulled him by the hand to sit at his side. He leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered a “Happy birthday, Love,” into his ear.

Phil smiled so widely he thought his face might just split from the happiness and then he made eye contact with his mum, who had watched the interaction closely and blushed.

At least she looked happy for him but it was a bit embarrassing. On the other hand, Phil couldn’t help but notice that Dan didn’t completely avoid PDA, he just kept them at a minimum. It was not something that they had discussed, but Phil wouldn’t have expected Dan to be ok with something like this after being in the closet for so long. It was a good birthday surprise.

“Sleep well?” asked Dan.

Phil nodded, reaching across the table for his coffee mug.

“Well, wait a minute,” his mum said, squeezing lemon on top of his pancakes and sprinkling them with sugar before handing him the plate.

“Do you want to share?” He asked Dan.

“I already ate mine. These are all yours.”

“You didn’t wait for me?” Phil pouted.

“I was hungry, bitch. I woke up at 9!” Dan teased.

“Wow, you should have woken me up!”

“Please, I know how you get - and it’s your birthday.” Dan gave him a look.

“I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfect angel,” Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes at him and snorted.

“Martyn will be here around 3 so that’s when I will serve the roast and we can cut the cake after. Is that ok?” his mum asked.

“Yes,” Phil said. “Our flight it’s not until 9 so we can leave around 7.”

“What a pitty that you couldn't stay a bit longer,” his dad said.

“I know, I’m sorry but we have work. We will visit again at some point,” Phil said.

“I hope that you can visit in a few months and stay over,” Dan said. “I am going on tour with a new project and I would love it if you could come.”

“Of course!” Phil’s mum said. “Will your mother be there?”

“Um, sure. We can get tickets for both families on the same date,” Dan said.

“Wonderful!” she said with a smile.

“When will it be?” Phil’s dad asked.

“Closer to the end of the year. I will let you know exactly when the producers tell me,” Dan said.

Phil looked between Dan and his mum, smiling at how sweetly she was pushing him into a corner to make a family reunion happen as soon as possible even with them living on opposite ends of the country. Still, he decided to rescue his boyfriend.

“Do you need help with anything, Dad?” Phil asked.

“Yes, actually! You can start chopping the onions and peeling potatoes,” he said. “Dan, do you think you can run to the store and get some more wine?”

“Yes, absolutely!” said Dan, surely aching to escape Phil’s mum’s interrogation.

“I will walk with you, dear,” she said, already reaching for her coat before Dan could say no.

Phil snorted and went in search of the onions. When he got back into the kitchen, his dad was waiting for him with a small framed art piece. He had to pause for a moment. He placed his hand on his heart and grabbed it with shaky hands. It was a charcoal drawing of the last picture Phil had taken with his parents and his grandma, but his dad had added Dan in. His eyes welled up in tears and he set the picture on the counter before pulling his dad into a tight hug with a choked sob. “T-thank you!”

His dad rubbed his back and Phil couldn’t remember a single time they had hugged like this since he’d been a child. He made sure to account for every detail of the way his father was holding him, comforting him.

“I’m proud of you, son,” he said.

“Thank you,” Phil mumbled. He didn’t want to have any regrets. One day his father would be gone and he wouldn’t have any other time to tell him. He remembered his vow to tell the people he loved the most just how much they meant to him, but his dad had somehow been skipped. Well, not somehow. They were men, they just didn’t do this type of thing, not since Phil had turned into an adult, but Phil didn’t want to continue on like that. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too,” his dad said with no hesitation.

They finished cooking side by side, swaying to the music playing in the radio in amicable silence.

By half past three, the roast was ready, Martyn and Cornelia were washing up, and Dan and Phil were setting the table. In one of Phil’s trips to the kitchen, Martyn caught him by the hand and asked him to follow him out to the garden.

Phil immediately regretted not taking a moment to grab a coat, but at least Martyn didn’t seem to be doing any better. “Fuck, Mar. What is it?”

“Shh! I don’t want Mum to hear. I just wanted to check something with you.”

“Yeah, what happened?” asked Phil, feeling a bit worried already.

“So - Cornelia and I have something to announce and we were waiting to do it in person but it’s your birthday… and I don’t think we'll be coming back here for a while so I wanted to check with you.” Martyn bit his lip. “Would you mind?”

“Announcing what?” Phil asked.

Martyn looked into the house, checking that no one was snooping on them, and whispered: “We’re having a baby!”

Phil’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to let out a squeal of delight but Martyn knew him too well and covered his mouth and nose for good measure.

“Don’t!” he whispered. “I will let you go but don’t scream!”

Phil nodded and once Martyn released him, Phil grabbed him by his jumper and shook him slightly. “I am going to be an uncle?!” he whisper-shouted.

“Yeah!” Martyn laughed and nodded, looking just as excited as Phil was, maybe even a bit more.

“Alright, that has to be the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. I am going to spoil your kid so badly, you’re going to hate me,” Phil said.

“I already hate you,” he said with a laugh and Phil punched his arm.

The sliding door opened and Dan peeked his head out. “Lester! Don’t leave me to set the table alone just because it’s your birthday.” Then he disappeared without waiting for a reply.

“He has you on a short leash,” Martyn said with an amused smile.

Phil nodded. “Yeah. Been thinking of running away…”

“Dork!” Martyn said and walked inside.

Phil followed after him, lost in thought at the notion that his brother was going to be a father. Dan gave him a weird look but Phil just shrugged and carried the Yorkshire puddings and black currant sauce to the table. Dan had already brought the meat and roasted potatoes.

His mum went around serving wine and Phil realised that she would soon notice Cornelia wasn’t drinking. “Oh, let me do that,” he said. “Dan, can you bring the Ribena from the fridge?”

“Sure,” he said with a frown but didn’t question Phil.

“You boys are not having wine?” His mum asked.

“I read that it can make you dizzy to drink before a flight when you are prone to migraines, so I’m not drinking today.”

“Oh, I’ll take Ribena as well,” said Cornelia.

“That sounds nice, actually. I feel a bit dehydrated myself so I’ll join you,” Martyn said.

Phil’s mum looked a bit upset that half of the table wouldn’t enjoy the wine she bought.

Dan returned with a pitcher of Ribena and placed it on the table. He took a seat next to Phil and eyed him suspiciously.

Phil took a moment to check his messages while his mum served the roast because he knew she didn’t like them being on their phones while they ate and he got a notification from Dan immediately.

“What are you up to?”

“What?” Phil asked, playing coy.

“What’s going on? You’re being weird.”

“I am always weird according to most people.”

Dan sneaked a hand under the table and pinched Phil’s thigh, making him jump. “Fuck!”

“Philip!” his mum chided him.

“Sorry! I think I pulled a muscle on my leg.”

“Well don’t curse and take an ibuprofen,” she said and continued serving.

Phil grabbed his phone again. “I will get you for that. Just don’t say anything, Martyn will announce it soon. He asked me not to tell.”

“Alright,” Dan typed before they were told to put their phones down.

Dinner went by smoothly, although Phil was anxious for Martyn to drop the news so that they could all talk about it. The secret was burning him from the inside. When his mum went to the kitchen to make coffee, he went along and asked if they could cut the cake already.

She was a bit shocked but accepted, so Phil got it from the fridge and set it on the table. It was all covered in candy with a small doll resembling Phil emerging from it. “Aww, that’s cute, Mum,” Phil called over his shoulder.

“I didn’t make it, I just bought it,” she replied.

Phil snorted. Once the coffee and the mugs were at the table, Dan lit the candle and led the happy birthday song for Phil.

In that moment, Phil felt frozen in time, looking around, his loved ones smiling, supporting him and his relationship with Dan, who was easily slotting into the family and he looked at Cornelia, who would soon give him the best gift he could ever get.

Dan laid his hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Make a wish!”

Phil smiled at him and leaned down closer to the cake. “I don’t need anything else,” he thought and blew the candle out. He stood up and looked at Martyn, trying to signal him to speak up.

“Corn?” Martyn said.

“We wanted to take a moment to tell you something since we are all together here - the entire family,” she said, looking at them all. “We are having a baby.” She beamed. “I am four months pregnant!”

“Oh, Martyn!” his mum said, rubbing a few stray tears away and hugged his brother briefly before pulling Cornelia into a crushing hug. “This is wonderful!”

His dad shook Martyn’s hand before thinking about it for a moment and pulling him into a hug and Phil could have sworn he saw a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Then it was Dan’s turn to congratulate them and Cornelia asked if he was excited to become an uncle which almost made Phil cry. He just walked over to his brother and gave him a big hug, then he joined Dan in hugging Cornelia who merely laughed.

It was his favourite birthday so far.

---

The following months were a bit of a haze. Dan had stopped taking new patients the previous year to allow him to continue to work with Young Minds, continue acting occasionally and posting on YouTube. He also focused on his mental health book deal, which he’d gladly accepted at a minimum fee and promptly got to work.

It took him almost six months to write and it stressed him out to no end, but he found that he enjoyed the process as well. Phil often read bits and pieces of the book, but Dan was a bit overzealous of his draft until it was completely edited.

He also had a stand-up show written and its tour was in negotiations for the second half of the year. On the other hand, Phil had started his own secret project in the works; he allocated his free time for it fully but he wasn’t going to share it with Dan until he was sure it was what he wanted and had a direct plan of action. He took advantage of the fact that Dan was working his butt off to form a very concrete proposal to buy property together. It would be a huge step for them and he knew that Dan would probably drown in the what ifs if Phil didn’t have at least some ideas of how they could afford such a project and what they would be looking for.

In May, Phil finally felt ready to broach the subject. He took his plans and sat Dan for a talk at the breakfast bar.

“What’s up?” Dan asked, looking nervous and quite pale.

“Everything is alright. I just wanted to ask you something,” Phil said, placing a cup of tea in front of Dan. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words. He let out a little frustrated sigh. “Well… I’m buying a house.”

“Oh?” Dan frowned.

Phil raised his eyebrows at his own stupidity. “For us. For both of us to live together there.”

Dan visibly relaxed. “Oh, ok,” he said with a little laugh.

“Yeah, the thing is… I want to completely remodel it, but I want you to see it and tell me if you like it, if you like the area and to help me design it.”

“Oh, wow,” Dan said, pausing. “I love the idea but, how much money are we talking about?”

Phil had considered paying for it himself, but he knew better than offering something like that to Dan, he would never accept it. “Here,” he said, getting the folder from one of the small drawers in the kitchen.

“You were hiding this in the kitchen?” Dan asked with an amused smile.

Phil shrugged. “Why would you even be looking in there? How often do you cook, Danny boy?”

“Fair,” Dan mumbled, skimming through the pages of the three financial options Phil had presented to him. “I like the 50-50 one if I can just transfer the money to you every month.”

“That was my favourite one too. Now look at the pictures,” Phil said, turning a few pages. Each picture came with handwritten notes of his plan and questions for Dan.

Dan’s face transformed, his smile growing as he turned each page. “It’s gorgeous. Ohhh, the garden, Phil!” Dan said in wonder. “The inside is very old-fashioned but I like the bare bones. Can we afford to remodel it? I think that it could be a bit much.”

“We have the merch store, ad revenue, sponsors, you have your book, we have savings. I know that construction can get out of hand but it will probably take at least a year to complete it so I think we can manage it,” Phil said and braced himself. “All you need to agree to is to let me pay rent completely, at least until your earnings are more similar to mine.”

Dan pursed his lips. Phil could tell that he didn’t like the idea at all but he was in no position to argue. He was still catching up on his metrics. “Alright, but I will pay it back.”

“Don’t,” Phil said. “Put it aside for a trip to Japan. We’ve always wanted to go.”

“I like the sound of that,” Dan said. “Thank you, love.” He leaned in and pressed three quick kisses to Phil’s lips. “I love you!”

“Love you too,” Phil said, letting out a small sigh and taking the first sip of his tepid tea.

---

June 2019

Dan was a bit scared of how the so-called phannies would react to his stand-up so he did a few pre-shows - with unrelated material of course - at a small pub and it went amazingly well. They loved his style and the crude jokes. As it turned out, their viewers had grown with them and made it fairly evident that there had always been people of their own age and even older watching their content. As Dan had simply put it: “They’re old.”

Phil had known that most of their viewers were queer for quite a while but seeing the army of -mostly- lesbians at Dan’s small shows was a delight. It was a freeing experience for both of them. Dan got to make as many gay sex jokes as he wanted and people often matched his energy which made him incredibly happy and Phil got to see Dan be himself fully, be confident in his own identity and sexuality which also turned into a bit of a surprising self-discovery journey.

Phil had thought that he had been confident in his own skin for years and years but being semi-closeted in aspects of your life plays a weird game on your mind. The little offhand comments you’d get, or having to lie by omission to some weird intrusive questions, having to come up with made-up stories in interviews, it was all very tiring. Phil found that he also loved to make crude jokes in public, perhaps not as much in his videos but in his everyday life. It was just something that brought him a lot of joy.

It was a relief to be so secure in their relationship that when Dan joked about people sliding into his DMs and living his hot boy summer, Phil didn’t feel jealous at all. He knew that Dan was loyal to him and that what they had was a priority for both of them.

Before things got too busy and with the excuse of Dan’s birthday, they took a weekend trip to visit his family.

Phil stood before the same door he’d stood almost a decade prior and smiled at the bittersweet memories it brought. He knew that this time things would be different. With Dan’s homophobic father long gone from the family home, they weren’t as worried about things going awry, so his mind turned to the first few months after they met in person, when everything had changed. Sharing Dan’s bed, flirting, playing hours upon hours of video games and filming. Phil let out a sigh as he remembered Dan looking at him, the golden specks in his warm brown eyes dancing in the sunlight as he laughed, his hobbit hair wild and free.

“Ready?” Dan asked, pulling him from his musings.

Phil simply smiled at him and nodded, but before he could ring the doorbell, Karen opened the door, welcoming them and wrapping them into a tight hug each.

“Oh, Phil! It’s so good to see you again after so long! I’ve been asking Dan to bring you over forever,” she said.

“Thank you so much!” Phil said with a huge smile. A side eye Dan’s way revealed that he had been, in fact, asked to bring Phil over, if his beat red face and neck scratching was any indication. “He keeps me hidden, what can I say?”

She laughed and swatted Dan’s arm.

“I don’t!” Dan said. “We’ve just been busy, Mum.”

“Of course you have.” Karen rolled her eyes at her son and ushered them inside.

She pointed Phil towards one of the armchairs and Dan to the closest spot to him on the bigger sofa, choosing the other end of it for herself. As soon as Phil had taken his place, he felt two soft paws scratching at his legs. “Awww, Hi Colin! Nice to meet you!” Phil said as he helped the pup climb onto his lap. He gave Colin a kiss and turned his attention back to Dan’s mum. “How have you been?” he finally asked.

“Oh, you know how it is,” she said. “Teaching is very difficult with this newer generation, they are quite unruly, but I still love my job. How are you guys? Any new projects?”

Dan reached his hand to pet Colin absentmindedly but kept his eyes on his mum. “My book is out already and it did very well. People are saying they enjoyed it and that it helped them manage their mental health a bit better, so I’m happy about that. The tour is about to start, I brought you tickets, as you requested,” he said, fishing them out of his pocket and handing them over to her. “You can go with Nana and Popsie; Adrian wants to go on a different date.”

“Your brother is such a loose cannonball sometimes,” she shook her head but smiled. “Will your parents be there, Phil?” Karen asked although it didn’t really sound like a question. Phil realised that this was not Dan’s mother talking to him, it was his “Mother in Law” letting him know that she expected him to make it work so that both families could finally meet after so many years. There were expectations.

Phil blinked but he didn’t let his smile falter. He was a bit nervous, but he had, gladly, made the arrangements to save everyone the pain of flying over another time. It was not quite a middle ground but it was the best option.“Yes, of course. They love Dan and they’re very excited to see the show. All of our friends are going on different dates as well.” He kept petting Colin, who was trying to take a nap on his lap but kept opening his eyes every time Dan or Phil touched him.

“Did you warn Nana that it’s rude?” Dan asked, picking at the fabric of the sofa cushion.

“Yes, but she has been watching your videos, so she knows what to expect,” Karen said. “You should have her on your channel, I think she would like that very much.”

Dan sputtered. “I don’t know about that.”

“Aw, that would be so cute!” Phil said. “Also the viewers loved her comment about the Ipad and the old home videos where she tried to scare you. I think she’d be a hit.”

Karen nodded. “See? Phil agrees with me!”

“He’s just sucking up to you,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “I would never!”

“Don’t be like that, Phil is very sweet and polite!” Karen said, patting Phil’s knee.

Phil stuck his tongue out to Dan.

The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of Dan’s grandparents and causing both Dan and Phil to stand and Colin to jump from his lap, throwing a reproachful look over his shoulder as he marched towards Dan.

“Hellooo,” Dan said, picking him up and going up to greet his grandparents.

Phil stood by his armchair and awkwardly waited for everyone to join him to shake Nana’s and Popsie’s hands as they sat on the big sofa with Karen, relegating Dan -and Colin- to the armchair across the room. Seeing Dan’s pout at being so far away from him made Phil regret not joining him on the big sofa when he got the chance.

Dan’s grandparents were extremely polite but a bit aloof at first. Dan had mentioned that they were open to the idea of him being gay but they hadn’t been in contact with any gay people per se, so they would have to try to act naturally to give them an idea of what they could expect. Basically, Dan had asked Phil to be himself and treat him as if they were alone at home, with as much pda or as little as he felt like doing.

“Phil, it is so nice to see you,” Dan’s grandma said, folding her hands on her lap.

Phil smiled. “Thank you,” he said and nodded at Popsie. “Nice to see you both again. I hope you remember me.”

“I do,” Dan’s grandma said, looking at Dan out of the corner of her eye. “Daniel couldn’t quite stop talking about you all the time so by the time I met you, I felt like I already knew you. That made it hard to forget you.”

Phil didn’t know what to say to that, so he smiled. It was a little bit funny, picturing Dan with his massive crush, going on and on about Phil.

“Nana, don’t make me sound so lame,” Dan said a bit too loudly, causing Colin to lift his head and huff. Dan looked at him apologetically and ruffled his fur.

“I am only telling the truth, if that makes you sound ‘lame’ as you put it…” she trailed off.

Phil burst out laughing and suddenly felt at ease with her. “You are delightful.”

“I’m going to be bullied the entire day, aren’t I?” Dan asked, pouting and flipping Colin’s ear inside out.

Popsie smiled at him and nodded before focusing on Phil. “So, what are your plans for the future?” he asked.

“For the future?” Phil asked, unsure of what to say, so he started speaking about work as per usual. “I have a lot of videos in the work, sponsors, my brother runs our merch company as well, but I do need to look things over. We are quite busy at the moment, especially with Dan going away on tour for a few months.” He looked at Dan across the room for any indication on how good of a reply that was but Dan merely shrugged.

“Well, that’s wonderful, but… we’ve been wondering if you two are going to get married, adopt children? I’m not sure how it’s done nowadays,” Popsie said with a small smile.

Dan sank further into his armchair, trying to make himself small and turned to talk to his mum, who completely ignored him in favour of listening to Phil’s answer.

Phil’s eyes widened, but he thought each and every single one of his movements carefully. He took account of how he was sitting, his posture, and his hands. He sat as a perfectly respectable human instead of a pile of goo; he squared his shoulders, laced his fingers on his lap and leaned forward trying to exude confidence. “Well, we haven’t discussed marriage quite yet, but we are buying property together this year.”

“You are?” Karen asked, beaming and looking between Dan and Phil.

Dan nodded but let Phil do the talking.

“Yes, it was my idea,” Phil said. “As you may know, Dan and I have quite a bit of history and it took us some time to repair our friendship and build a strong and loving relationship, so we are taking things slow to make sure that we are doing things the right way.”

“That is good! It’s important to take the time to consider things and not just jump into a wedding,” Karen said, looking pointedly at her mother. “A house sounds wonderful. May I ask if it will be under both of your names?”

Phil nodded. “Yes. We have already decided how we will split the cost, and since we are going to remodel it before moving in, it will probably be a long process.”

“Where are you buying?” Popsie asked, giving him what Phil assumed was an approving look.

“Kensington,” Phil said. “It’s a three-story house with a huge back garden.” He pulled his phone out and showed them a few pictures.

“It looks like a good place for a family,” Dan’s grandma said.

“Please, no mention of children,” Dan whined, pulling Colin to lay on his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

“Don’t you want children, Daniel?” she asked.

“Not right now,” Dan said with a frown. “We have a lot of work ahead. If it happens it will happen.”

“But how?” Popsie asked, cocking his head. “I don’t mean to be rude, of course, but I don’t understand.”

Phil saw a mix of embarrassment and anger forming in Dan’s face, but he could see that Popsie was just trying to understand, so he took over the conversation. “Well, neither of us will be getting pregnant,” he laughed. “But gay couples have different options, or rather, we have the same options as most couples dealing with infertility, like adoption, or getting eggs from a donor and paying a surrogate to carry the child, or simply to remain child-free. Like I said, at the moment we are focusing on ourselves and our relationship, anything else will come in the future, when we have the proper time and money to make it happen.” Phil ventured a look at Dan and found nothing but gratitude and love in his eyes.

“Yes,” Dan said, the smile slowly returning to his face. “I may be just a little selfish here, but I don’t want to share Phil with anyone at the moment, and if we decided to have children, a wedding would probably happen first. For now, we have our house to focus on and our projects.”

Karen smiled and patted Dan’s hand. “It sounds like you have a wonderful life together.”

“We do,” Dan said, his smile widening. “And I am very happy.”

“That’s all that matters then,” Dan’s grandma said and clapped her hands once. “Congratulations to you both.”

Popsie smiled and nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much, Daniel. It is a relief to still be alive to see you so happy.”

“Well, don’t take it as a sign to die,” Dan said, letting out an awkward laugh. “That would not make me very happy.”

“It’s not my time yet,” Popsie chuckled.

The doorbell rang once again and Karen walked over to the window, pulling the curtains back. “Looks like the pizza is here!” she said, giving Phil an apologetic look before walking over to the door.

“Karen! Pizza? While having company over? Why didn’t you cook something?” Dan’s grandma said, getting up and walking after her daughter.

“I’m not a great cook and I didn’t want to stress about it,” Karen said.

“But I am, I could have made something!”

Karen waved her off. “It’s fine and Phil loves pizza, don’t you Phil?”

“I do!” Phil added and finally remembered that as a guest he should probably offer to carry the pizzas. “I can take that to the kitchen,” he said.

“You are such a darling, Phil. Always so polite!” Karen said, handing him the boxes.

Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw Popsie sliding closer to Dan and whispering something as he placed a hand on his shoulder and watched Dan rub his cheek quickly to wipe a few tears as he nodded and smiled.

Phil let out a sigh of relief. Everything was finally falling into place. Both families had accepted them with love and respect for them and the relationship they shared. It was all they had ever wanted.

---

October 2019

October brought many milestones. They celebrated their first anniversary as an official couple and the 10th anniversary of the day they first met.

The celebration itself was more of an improvised dinner date at their new home, in which construction had just started, sitting on a blanket, basically having a picnic and wine. Maybe it would not be considered the most romantic set up by the majority of people, but to them it was. It symbolised so many achievements and the hard work that they had put on themselves, their friendship and their relationship, as well as being their first property. In a way, it was the most romantic celebration they could have put together. There were no aesthetic decorations, fancy restaurants or public displays, it was just them - together, sharing a moment.

Dan grabbed a slice of pizza and moaned dramatically as he bit into it.

Phil laughed at his antics. God, he loved how Dan made him laugh with the simplest gestures. He loved Dan, his curly hair, his warm brown eyes, that low voice he used when it was just the two of them. He loved Dan dressed to the nines or only in his joggers and a stained T-shirt, his eyes falling shut from how tired he was. He loved Dan naked too, when it was just him, no decoration, no masks, just Dan. He loved Dan so much that he sometimes felt his heart would burst out of his chest at any moment.

“What?” Dan asked mid chew.

Phil snorted. “You have stubble now,” he said, cupping Dan’s cheek and rubbing his thumb on his chin.

“I’ll get it tomorrow,” Dan said.

“Don’t,” Phil smiled. “I like it.”

“I thought you said it was too rough on your skin,” Dan said.

“Maybe I like it rough,” Phil said with an awkward wink.

Dan laughed and threw a piece of crust his way.

“Hey, be nice!” Phil said.

“I’m always nice,” Dan said, pointing at his bruised forehead. “Today I slammed my head into the cabinets again and I didn’t even yell at you about it.”

“Is that why you were cursing this morning?”

“Yes, but I let you have a lie in instead of going to you to complain.”

“You could have joined me,” Phil said, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

“I wanted to clean so that you don’t have to keep up with everything while I’m gone,” Dan said, his smile dropping a bit.

“That’s actually very sweet of you,” Phil said.

Dan pretended to retch. “Shut up,” he said, very fondly. It was the first time that they would be apart for an extended period of time since they got back together. Phil could hardly remember what life without Dan was like, but it was necessary. He would support every single solo project Dan had, and help him spread his wings, in the same way Dan supported him.

This was the time for Dan to spend some time with his followers without Phil’s presence, except in the occasional show.

“I’m going to miss you and go a bit crazy,” Phil admitted.

“You can always come to visit me on the road.”

“Maybe I will,” Phil said and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Dan’s lips.

“Please do,” Dan said, sounding a little smaller, perhaps like a lost child.

“Aww,” said Phil and gave him a quick succession of kisses on the lips. Three for good luck. “You will do amazingly, they will love you.”

“What if I fuck up on stage?” Dan frowned.

“Then they will laugh with you, which is the point of the show,” Phil said. “You know what to do already, just be yourself.”

“Sometimes I panic and consider cancelling.”

Phil nodded. “I know, I can see it in your eyes from time to time, but I also know that you were made to do this. You have to go out there and make little theatre kid Dan proud.”

“I know, but I could also just go live in the woods,” Dan said, only half joking.

“You are afraid of trees, and the show starts next week. It’s too late to back out now,” Phil laughed, patting his leg.

Dan snorted a laugh. “Yeah,” he said, shifting slightly and laying back onto Phil’s lap. “I love you, you know?” he asked, looking up at Phil.

“Yeah, I know,” Phil said, running his fingers through Dan’s curls. “I love you too.”

“Enough to keep my plants alive while I am away?” Dan smirked.

“I can’t promise that,” Phil laughed. “But I can promise that the house will still be standing when you come back - probably.”

Dan laughed, his eyes crinkling with happiness. “Probably.”

---

Dan’s stand-up show “We’re all doomed” opened to a full theatre of fans who had shown up to support him. Their excitement permeated the air and got into Phil. He was there to see his favourite person perform.

Phil danced in his seat while the pre show playlist boomed through the speakers. His smile widened when Dan came onto the stage. He felt a hand resting on his own, turned to his side and looked into his mother’s eyes, her smile matching his.

His heart sang as he watched Dan perform, giving it his all, working the stage and feeding off the audience’s energy.

He loved the show, he really did, but watching both of their families laugh along with Dan’s jokes and look at him proudly had to be one of Phil’s favourite memories from that night.

As the show came to a close, Dan came on stage one last time to thank the audience and looked up to the gallery where his people were. He made direct eye contact with Phil and placed his hand on his heart, smiling widely and mouthing a silent “I love you,” and Phil wanted to keep that image engraved in his mind forever.

It had taken such a long time to get to this point, but they were finally where they wanted to be, together, and even though Phil didn’t forget everything that had happened, all the heartache, all the hardships, he didn’t doubt for a second that it had all been worth it. God, he loved Dan so much, and he was going to spend the rest of his life making him happy - just as happy as Dan made him.

#succubusphan fics #phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phan au #dan and phil #ospbb 2023

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autumnalwalker · 1 year

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Find The Word tag

Thank you for the tag, @writernopal.

My words were: melancholy, opaque, repeat, mixture, & spell

Passing the tag to @cljordan-imperium, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @writingpotato07, @talesofsorrowandofruin, @talesofsorrowandofruin, @blind-the-winds, and an open tag for anyone else who wants in.

Your words shall be line, depths, internal, egg, & never

Melancholy: The Archivist's Journal, Day 223

It’ll be so nice to get to that spring. Possible healing magic aside, it’ll be a relief to wash off days of being sticky with salt water and sand. That said, I’m amazed that none of us are really any worse off than that. Four days now of being out on the open water with no shade and exposed to the breeze and splash of seawater, and I’d be expecting sunburns and chapped lips and cracked knuckles, but none of that so far. Closest to that is, upon examining myself, my arms and legs seem maybe a little darker, but then again, that’s not saying much given that I normally get less sun than anyone else in the Village, possibly this whole world.

The palms of Lin’s hands are looking rough though, threatening to blister if they haven’t already. She seemed to be trying to hide that though, and when I asked her about it earlier she shrugged it off saying that we’re going to a healing spring so nothing to worry myself over. And then she added that she does expect me to do more of the rowing on the way back. She laughed when she said that last part but I think it was less of a joke than she was trying to make it seem. I hope she’s not forcing on a happy face just for my sake.

Okay, enough of that melancholy line of thought. Going to go stretch my legs and walk this beach a bit. Maybe catch up with Cass. Haven’t talked to her much since this trip started.

Opaque Murky: The Archivist's Journal, Day 72

Our island has docked with and left that primeval forest.

It was after dark when we arrived, but we had unclouded stars and lantern light to go by. There had been a fair bit of discussion while we waited on whether or not to set foot on that approaching solid ground. We decided that as long as we didn’t get out of sight of the docking point we’d probably be safe to walk around for at least a few minutes. Assuming it was anything like the docking at the main island.

The docking point was another protruding cliff, much like Siren Overlook. Similar enough to make me wonder if both of them were artificial. This one however was overgrown with creeping vines and broadleaf ferns. (They looked like ferns to me anyway.) There was another matching arch here as well, but it had collapsed and shattered, now easy to miss except as raised blocky patches of greenery.

This rampant growth stopped as it met the treeline at the landward end of the cliff. Gazing into that forest was more like peering into the mouth of a cave. Little grew from the ground other than the great trees. Each of them was nearly big enough around at the base to fit my cabin inside, and it easily could have fit in the spaces between them with room to spare. I wouldn’t have expected such tall trees to be able to stand with expansive branches, yet up at the edge of our lantern light we could make out the bottom of the canopy and the branches of the trees tangled together with their neighbors in a dense web. A web that helps them hold one another aloft perhaps? But certainly a web that catches the sun. It would not surprise me if the forest floor is as dark at noon as it was while we were there.

As much as Cass wanted to, we did not walk beneath those branches this night.

While that choice was mostly a matter of not wanting to get stranded if the floating island left unexpectedly, part of it was the noises. Even at that hour we could hear a constant distant din of animal cries. Most came from the canopy far above, but at least one came from the murky depths and whatever it was sounded large.

And as a quiet compliment to that wild melody was another siren’s song. Quieter here than the one we were used to, even accounting for how that one dimmed in the presence of the floating island. But while the song back home was soothing, this one was energizing. Not a lullaby but a chant. Pounding, pulsating. A rhythm to run to. A song to hunt by.

All too soon the floating island started to shift and take off again. Lin and (surprisingly) Cass had already re-boarded again by that time. I was close behind. I wound up briefly stopping to turn and call to Maiko. For a moment, I thought she was going to stand behind. In the next moment I saw what she had stopped to stare at. Half-concealed by the shadows at the edge of the forest stood the Wandering God. Or else another being of the same essence.

That moment too passed and we ran back to the floating island, Maiko grabbing my wrist as she passed me and practically dragging me behind for all I tried to keep up. Needless to say, we made it. It wasn’t even that far of a jump, even if it felt like it in the moment.

Panting, we asked Lin and Cass if they’d seen anything beneath the trees. They did not.

We’re back at the camp in front of the mansion now. Lin and Cass are in their tents already and the chickens have already congregated where Maiko’s lying in the grass. She’s still refusing a tent.

I’ll be turning in soon myself. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll get the chance to explore that place for real someday. To hear that song for longer.

Then again, Pat said the Endless Abyss appears in dark places, and I’ve seen nowhere darker than that primeval forest.

Repeat: Empty Names - 11 - Afterparty

A series of rapid beeps emits from his breast pocket. What to do about that morsel is a decision that will have to be tabled for another time. It was hard to tell with how they blended together, but at a rough guess Sullivan would say about twenty. Roughly twenty people have just crossed the bounds of the perception ward around Lachlan’s lighthouse. More than he’d anticipated - even before he gave up on anyone showing - but not, he thinks, more than he can handle.

This morning it had taken the carriage roughly forty minutes to make the trip from the front door of the Manor to the base of the cliff below the lighthouse.

Alone, Sullivan figures he can make it in five.

He stands and his skin ripples and writhes from that which is beneath it.

Space warps and compresses to a single point in his vision.

He takes a step and is out in the hallway.

Another step and he’s at the far end.

A turn, a step, another hallway.

Cross rooms and repeat.

The internal labyrinth of Bridgewood Manor is not conducive to this mode of travel.

He doesn’t bother waking his friend or Ashan.

Outnumbered as he expects to be, he may do some things they wouldn’t approve of.

He’s faster alone anyway.

And he hates to disturb his friend’s rare sound sleep.

One minute.

He steps out the door into the night air.

One step to the edge of the forest.

Three steps to the correct tree.

He lets himself settle for a moment so as not to confuse the security.

A brief transit north through the dark of the bridge.

Still faster for the master of the house alone than it would be with others.

Rise from the weathered wooden floorboards to stand in an arctic wind.

No longer a storm but still enough to rattle the remains of the old collapsed cabin.

Two minutes.

The twisting beneath his skin resumes.

One step down to the shore.

Practically a leisurely stroll down the winding coast.

Faster than the wind whose bite is but a tickling nibble to him.

Three minutes.

The boom echoes across the water and off the cliffs from kilometers away.

The pillar of fire erupts high enough to pierce the perception ward.

The lighthouse’s last light.

He picks up his pace.

Four minutes.

The receiver in his breast pocket beeps twenty three times.

The beeps are more spread out this time.

He swears and rounds the bend in the coast.

The dragon and the bone ship are long gone.

A single, strained step takes him across the bay and to the top of the cliff.

The receiver beeps once with his passage.

He stands at the base of the lighthouse.

It looks like the door’s been kicked in and then lit on fire.

Five minutes.

Mixture: The Archivist's Journal, Day 130

In overall form, it was much as I’d pictured; a black-painted rectangle about as long as I was tall, and half as high with a tray jutting out and running along the bottom. Melaina handed me a chunk of chalk (or something close enough to it) and urged me to try it out. I had to press harder and with more resistance than I expected but I was able to write a quick “Hello, World” on its surface handily enough. Cass looked unimpressed, but I passed her the chalk and started waxing poetic about the usefulness of being able to write examples large enough that all the students could see and follow along with at once instead of relying on my own paltry verbal explanations. Before I got too far into that, Melaina handed me a damp cloth that I’d been too distracted to notice her retrieve and I took that as my cue to try clearing the board. Again, it took more effort than I expected, closer to scrubbing than the wiping my otherworld memories told me was the ideal, and there were certainly ghostly traces left behind if you looked for them, but it would get the job done more than well enough. Just might need a new coat of paint every now and then (some sort of mixture of eggs and charcoal I think Melaina mentioned). Still easier than working with the wax tablets.

Cass and I thanked Melaina - myself more excitedly than I ever expected to be regarding a blackboard - and she told us she’d get some help and bring it by the library the next time the rain let up.

I wonder if the children will be half as excited as I am about this?

Spell: The Archivist's Journal, Day 72

My curiosity got the better of me and I asked about that pouch she had hanging from a strap over her shoulder. Pointed out that I hadn’t seen it before she showed up asking to go on this trip.

The humming noise of one considering how to answer a question about something personal.

She said she normally keeps it at whatever camp she has set up so she doesn’t accidentally lose it or its contents while out and about. That she only takes it with her when expecting to set up somewhere else for a long time.

An acknowledgment of an answer from me followed by a mutual silence.

She asked me if I wanted to see the contents.

Only if she wanted me to.

Moving further away from the edge first, she unslung the pouch from her shoulder and carefully removed the contents one by one, placing them on the ground between us. A stone knife. Another stone for sharpening it. The cracked crystal I’d given her. A small wooden figurine of an animal I didn’t recognize.

I asked about this last one.

She said a word that didn’t “translate” and I have no idea how to spell. She’d never seen one herself but her mother had told her about them. Fierce, smart, loyal, protective. Good companions.

I said it sounded like a dog.

Maiko had never heard of dogs.

It occurred to me that I’d not seen any dogs in the Village, nor heard mention of them in my time here. I think I’m getting used to this sort of revelation. My existential freak out was considerably shorter this time.

We returned to the edge and went back to watching for islands while I tried to explain dogs.

#tag game #find the word tag #manuscript search tag #writeblr #my writing #The Archivist's Journal #Empty Names

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cateringisalie · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @subdee - thank you!

How many works do you have on ao3? 453

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 1,617,537

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Final Fantasy VII (and some of its associated spin-offs. Okay, I think I have ultimately written for: Advent Children, Crisis Core, Dirge of Cerberus, Final Fantasy VII Remake, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. No Before Crisis, Ever Crisis or any of the books), Bravely Default (and Second), Final Fantasy VIII, Avatar the Last Airbender/Legend of Korra

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

After the Wedding (341) – (rated T) – Kya/Lin

This remains somewhat bewildering. Coming as it does as a Tumblr askbox fic and not one I felt I did exceptionally well. I can only attribute this to catching the wave of sapphic output after Legend of Korra’s finale (not that the fandom weren’t already doing that beforehand, but looking at ao3, the demarcation between pre and post finale is startling in what it does to the character and content of the fics (book 4 did admittedly cause an increasing drift, but the change after the finale is dramatic)). I suppose it is a little risqué too…

Healing (320) – (rated T) – Genfic

The culmination of a frenzied writing process and a lot of misgivings of how Legend of Korra tied itself up. In all honesty, a lot of this fic’s popularity is probably slight misdirects of where it (and the two follow-ups) are going - with my own preferences conflicting with @danseru-kun’s in terms of subtext and implication. I am always a fan of alternate universe takes, so this was fun to re-work the series and try and give it more of a sense of an overall plot in a way other than the very make it up as we go feel the series had. As noted a lot, while this was a collaboration, I felt more like the director of photography since the major plotting was all Danseru’s. I had to render it into fic form and added my own flourishes here and there. There are probably a lot of mistakes in this as early on we sped up the chapter releases and it was extremely tough to revise completely in a week’s time-frame.

Return to the Scene of the Crime (226) – (rated G) - Genfic

This is just one of many fics that exist to deal with Zuko going back to Song (the herbalist in book 2) and dealing with his theft of her ostrich-horse. At one stage (not sure if still true) I was told it was the sole instance of Zuko going back as he originally met her and not in his capacity as the Fire Lord. Which just seemed righter to me. Also Iroh is here because Iroh has to be here. I do feel this is weak on re-reads; it feels a lot like I keep checking elements of canon to anchor it more firmly after the series and they feel a little redundant.

Sharing a Bed (211) – (rated M) – Aerti

Borderline smut! Which is not the entire mark of appeal (clearly given the other three fics up there), but the first bit of Aerti smut I wrote. Very much inspired by another fic (diane_b_taylor’s Breath of Firsts (Rated E) – and possibly took far too much from that fic) and also written for a prompt from the fan_flashworks community over on Dreamwidth. Which was ‘trapped’ incidentally (I vaguely remember the other inspiration that kept cropping up for the prompt was The Tunnel by Askerian (Rated E) which…).

Modern Love (200) – (rated E) – Clerith

Just smut. Okay, maybe not purely – there is more here (and a inelegantly edited version lives on fanfiction.net for as long as that site persists). This resulted as part of a conversation relating to dissatisfaction with a whole other fic (the name of which I do not remotely remember). And eventually it lead to a kind of out there question that nonetheless resulted in this: can Cloud and Aeris sleep together during the events of the first disc of the game without derailing canon? The debate turned to yes, but with specific caveats on just how their relationship would work – there are later events to uphold; how Aeris thinks of Cloud has to gel with what happens; how Cloud feels about her has to factor in things like the Highwind scene and all the implications there. The eventual solution was they could be basically sex-friends and take opportunities as they arose. I think this took me like a year to write in the end.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Eventually. I like comments and want to encourage more – and it feels like responding (and reasonably fast) should facilitate this. It does not seem to.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

(All fics mentioned T or lower rated – all genfic)

Ahead on Our Way has Sephiroth succeeding in the destruction of the Planet which might count. Metal has a deliberately second-act style conclusion as a setup for Lightning. Wait, its probably Soporific where the Bravely Default cast get addicted to painkillers (this makes… slightly more sense in context)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

On the Way to a Birthday (rated G) – Cloti

Pretty happy I think and one of the only Dirge fics, mostly because somehow Shelke worked for the attempted humour. Another for the pile of Cloti baby fics, though little Charis’s birth is somewhere past the end of the fic. Features cake and Turks and a trip to see an old friend.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

The closest was a comment in Spanish; I think it was a complaint that I had made Tifa have multiple previous partners in Words are Important Too (rated E - see below).

9. Do you write smut?

(all fic rated M or higher)

Modern Love and Sharing a Bed are described above.

Words Are Important Too (Cloti)

My read on Tifa’s mindset in the implied aftermath of the infamous Highwind scene (with desperate justification for why they are back outside as the sun rises and also dealing with the perceived idea of cabins in the Highwind that aren’t depicted literally anywhere in game. It makes sense to have them, just… where would they go?). Its smut but part of why I wrote it was thinking that Cloud and Tifa are at the end of the world and consequences are something to worry about if they live through tomorrow.

Maia Kendall (Aerti)

Owes a lot to a reasonably famous account of a blind-date in the Guardian newspaper, but also took big inspiration from Surprise by Asynca (rated E) (and fusing the two of them together resulted in Aeris and Tifa reviewing sex toys). Coming as part of a sporadically written AU where Aeris and Tifa meet years earlier (and well before the game start) this does veer into not FFVII fanfic territory anymore. Yes, its still Tifa and Aeris, but the setting could be (say) London in the mid-2010s for all the relevance FFVII’s setting has on the fic. The previous parts are more tied to the original setting and the environment and how that affects living in Midgar. But, that fell away in service of the smut.

First Time (Clerith)

Definitely a response to something, but is pretty much pure smut – with the same caveats as Maia Kendall – characters yes, and allegedly mid-canon, but otherwise completely divorced from the setting.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have!

(all fics rated T or lower)

Ignoring Kingdom Hearts (which is a complication all its own, though I will still slightly bemoan the lack of Emperor’s New Groove in the games):

The Second Amnesiac (Genfic)

The somewhat odd idea of Bravely Default only switching Tiz with Cloud Strife – and right after Cloud gets blown up at the climax of Advent Children. Its not exactly doing anything – Cloud wanders a similar path to Tiz, meets Agnes and Airy and then starts slicing cannonballs in half. Honestly this was not going to get any further than this, but it was again written for the fan-flashworks whose whole ethos was getting something written and that was what I came up with for that prompt.

Final Fantasy VII vs Bravely Second: Yuffie Kisaragi vs the World (genfic)

Deliberately silly fic after a Skype conversation way ahead of Bravely Second’s release. Back before names had been localized and the plot was way up in the air. Nevertheless; this was at least fun to do the crack thing and smash the two universes together. And then throw in a whole bunch of others. The point of connection was the Cat Master asterisk in Bravely Second and the cat house in Wutai. From there, if Yuffie gets a little power, the world will tremble! Not even Corvo Attano from Dishonored can stand against her.

Deliveries Take so Long These Days (Cloti)

Somehow came out of the prompt ‘red’. This was majorly inspired by a friend’s insistence so many years ago that Cloud was a consistent character across FFVII, FFT and Kingdom Hearts – that rather than being the same character used three times, he had a larger meta-narrative stringing the games together. This friend would slowly reveal themselves to have lied near constantly since I met them and the flimsy shallowness of said lies were bewildering in retrospect. But, the notion is not without its merits, though I avoided KH again. The major objective was to do the Tactics link which is largely overlooked these days, but it was fun to find people Cloud could deliver to across the FF series (especially Ultros).

Two Independent Contractors (genfic)

The teleporting/time displaced merchants of Final Fantasy XIII-2 and Bravely Default/Second meetup and talk. I think the theory for the Adventurer didn’t pan out at all, and in retrospect the way both try to keep the timeline consistent is probably pulled from one of the River Song episodes of Doctor Who.

Betrayal at the Shinra Mansion (Genfic)

Sort of FFVII meets Undertale by way of Betrayal at House on the Hill. The Undertale cast play a version of the board game which is distinctly FFVII themed. Not much more to the idea than trying to interpret a prompt in as unusual a way as possible.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I had some reposted to another site off Ao3 years ago though still under my name. I would be honestly surprised if anyone bothered

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not language-wise, but The Sex Education of Edea Lee (rated G) was read on a Skype group-chat which was fun to listen to. Did underscore how poorly parts of it worked for spoken-word, but I’m glad they enjoyed it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

(all fics rated T)

Say hi @danseru-kun and @materiodic!

With the former I wrote: Healing (as above), Metal (part 2), Lightning (part 3) & Iroh’s Favourite Aunt (prequel)! With the latter I wrote Beneath a Steel Sky – in which Aeris makes an effort to see the sky in Sector Five.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Aerti

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Inspired by the The Illuminatus! Trilogy, I have a fragment of what Elmyra was doing while FFVII was happening – up to getting Marlene back from Shinra. The intention was to wrap other side-characters through these events (The Illuminatus! Trilogy is convoluted structure-wise and I wanted to do something like it for FFVII). While I got Elmyra pretty far, I’m not sure I can remember who else was supposed to be involved/tying the narratives around each other might be very off-putting if you’re not into trying this weirdo structure.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hopefully unusual ideas and alternate universe setups.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action I struggle with. Endings are a thing I don’t do often (lot of starts in amongst the fics). Punctuation is very much I get the basic stuff but anything past commas, full-stops and speech marks, I am not sure I am using them right.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would probably cheat it somehow – either make it indecipherable from the POV character or make it clear enough to third person but have the communication fail. Not something that comes up hugely in the relevant fandoms, but absolutely could.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Mysterious Cities of Gold/Esteban, Child of the Sun. On a typewriter. Said small page(s) has been long since lost to time, but it was an immediate sequel to the series’ ending.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Symbiosis (rated G)

Let’s come up with a weird but somehow plausible reason of why Elmyra lives in a really nice house in the slums of Sector Five (outside of the aesthetics of arriving there being a break from what you have gone through en route and it not meant to be entirely literal. I am not taking any comments on anything that Squeenix has released post-1997 as relevant. You know what I mean), tie in some of the game’s infamous monsters and dabble in some Terry Pratchett-esque humour.

If the idea interests there are two alternates – Symbiosis represents the peaceful way to deal with a Hell House, but Aeris has to learn how to fight with a staff from someone, so maybe the house wasn’t in quite the best of states when Elmyra came to live there. Or an alternate universe post-game idea which could be a sequel to Symbiosis but is part of a vague setup where a key moment in game didn’t happen in quite the way anyone remembers.

Tag 20 people?! Of the ones who haven't been tagged then: @danseru-kun, @auncyen, @komatsujo, @lostchasingsilver and anyone else who would like to answer!

#subdee #asks #thanks!

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