#again i do not mean for ppl to talk about their trauma at like...idk a grocery store

[traumatizeddfox]

i hate the word trauma dump because now people are afraid to reach out, or talk to someone about their trauma. Not everything is trauma dumping, its okay to talk about your trauma, and i don't think we should be shaming people who talk openly abt their trauma. Like yes there is a place and time for everything, but also let ppl just vent it out ?

#again i do not mean for ppl to talk about their trauma at like...idk a grocery store #or people they may not know #but if youre talking to someone you trust #you should feel like you can talk about it #or even on the internet #trauma #trauma dumping

[lqnar]

ngl i am mentally ill

#thinking about cuttign myself #wanting to be 15 and self destructive again. #talking to the people who only wanted me for my body #lmfao. #i was trauma dumping and venting to ppl and they were ok w it as long as i did what they wanted afterwards #it’s not cute or funny but i’m not sure if i rly was a victim or whatever. #like i used to think about it as abuse but idk i mean. i could have done more to stop it #but i was stupid and wanted attention and love and being told i was good enough #and i know it technically could be grooming. and i knlw it’s not ok #to do those things w/ someone who’s 15 #but like it wasnt real sex lmfao like it was online #and i was forced but i wasn’t like. actually forced. like i wasnt tied up in their basement #idk it’s so stupid to think about but i genuinely was traumatized by it for a while #lol like it’s not funny but i also feel incredibly silly for caring

[maldito-arbol]

It’s time for Mal to Talk in the tags again because I’m too tired to do homework or write so I’m gonna use my energy for this

#ranting online is kinda therapeutic since I can’t get therapy? ok so I just wanted to mention this and ramble #i about cried talking to my himbo friend over the phone the other day because he told me. the day I read that chapter (well. 1/4 of it) #to my discord server in the vc he came in and checked on me a few times and he said he hasn’t seen me look that happy in so long and it #hurts because I had to end that event early because I couldn’t breathe but I had so much fun talking to ppl and doing the reading bc I get #✨dramatic✨ and shit and yknow overall it was just such a great experience except for the not breathing part (the gods are punishing me for #the Bye Bye Air Collar from WJH) and anyway it just reminded me all over again how Unhappy I am constantly. i have spent my entire life #being treated like complete dirt by family and friends and bosses and coworkers and classmates and everyone under the sun so the second i #feel appreciated by Anyone I break into tears it’s So Bad. so like I enjoy going to work because even tho it’s so tiring and it’s so hard #dealing with customers sometimes I love it anyway because like. i feel appreciated there. by my boss and a handful of coworkers at least. #and that’s so much better than being in this house and feeling like I’m the devil’s spawn all over again sent to ruin everybody’s life by #merely existing. so work is a double-edged sword because it’s another source of Pain but it’s ALSO an escape which is Totally Healthy but #then there’s my fanfics. writing what I wanna write and sharing it with you guys and tormenting you and my blorbos is a kind of happiness I #will never find anywhere else. reading that to the server was one of those moments of pure euphoria even if I was plagued by Stage Fright #at the same time. so yeah. it really really really deepens my already horrid depression that I can’t write and I can’t release content rn #bc it means that source of pure happiness is gone with it and I’m left feeling all worthless again. idk how to fix all this. idk if I can. #I’m just so so so tired;;;;; #i forgot where I was going with this I feel like I keep repeating myself but anyway that’s all for now I’m gonna go see if I can cry #oh! one more thing. i haven’t talked to my Blood Family (apart from my sisters and Rarely my dad) SINCE I GOT KICKED OUT but last night my #aunt called me and we talked about my mother and she had a breakdown to me over the phone so I remembered all over again what it was like #living with my mother and maybe realized I never actually processed any of that trauma. it’s all just coming pouring out thru my writing. #all the Abuse themes going on in CMTO? 100% projection so sorry u had to witness this guys 💜 but anyway she told me I rlly helped validate #her own feelings and apologized for crying to me ab this but I told her what I tell everyone—that Crying Is Good For The Soul #and maybe that’s why I’ve been crying so much lately. because I need to. and I need to stop holding everything in. my friends are genuinely #worried and I somehow convinced myself that they have better things to do than listen to my whining. so anyway I’m gonna go cry 💜 #for self care purposes. ok done for real this time see y’all soon next time I decide to rant in the tags again #mal rants

[alle-ni]

My thoughts about goodomensverse (I'm clinically insane) (my personal opinion) (long post)

Book Crowley:

- absolute disaster

- lonely boy

- grumpiest

- he's so in love with Aziraphale but didn't even realised yet

- a bit dumb sometimes ngl

- very tired

- he's trying so hard save earth and everything he knows but everytime he tries to explain why it's always AZIRAPHALE

- sometimes he's like... your old gay uncle, the old gay uncle of the family except it's a 6000 years old gender fluid demon

- HISS LIKE A SNAKE GANG

- got called dear once and them died (figuratively)

Radio Crowley:

- flirty

- "Humm have you ever seen me in a dress~~??"

- he's like flirting with Aziraphale 24/7

- 0 patience this man is a BOMB

- if Aziraphale ever EVER got slightly flirty with him back he will EXPLODE

- smartest of them all, he's very intelligent

- HISS LIKE A SSSSSNAKE GANG

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and it makes him SO FRUSTRATED

- his Aziraphale is the hardest one to reach, maybe this is why he's so deliberately obvious and direct with him (he's resilient, he will never give up)

- he's like a tsudere teenager collegial except he's a 6000 years old demon with serious issues

- not called dear yet poor soul </3

TV Crowley:

- SILLY

- he's the dumbest of them all, sorry 😭

- red hair

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and everyone notice it's SO OBVIOUS

- he's the most affected by The Bookshop Burning ™ event

- the only one who got to kiss the angel, good for him ig, or sorry, idk

- anxiety bomb he literally (literally) EXPLODE

- strongest soldier bc his Aziraphale is IMPOSSIBLE

- got dumped 2 times more than the others someone pls help him

- the most brave tho

- doesn't hiss a lot :/ free him from this madness let him hiss

- he's like a puppy with giant yellow eyes except it's a 6000 years old snake demon that lies all the time

- protective as hell this man wouldn't let anyone near Aziraphale if possible

- got called dear but at what cost??????????????

Book Aziraphale:

- Anxious all the time, religious trauma except the god is your father and he left you and never talk to you again and the guard angels are your siblings and they want you do be dead

- He's so soft he wants so bad to comfort Crowley but he's really hard to reach

- his Crowley is the most difficult of all of them, he needs to circle him a lot to get in touch

- this man got called names so often I don't think he even cares anymore

- he's very nerdy

- he's the calmest of them all

- really chill

- everyone is so mean to him for no reason

- he has 1 braincell tbh and it's really bad bc his Crowley is not that brilliant too they're both stupid sometimes

- he really REALLY wants to be with Crowley and Crowley only, he sounds almost obligated to be with heaven

- he is really kind to others even when they don't deserve

- he called Crowley dear once and then implode

Radio Aziraphale:

- full of himself

- bastard

- the most closed and oblivious of them all

- he tries to play cool with Crowley all the time (he's slowly getting insane and someday he will jump on this man)

- he's the most self sufficient one he barely holds on Crowley to anything and they're pretty independent

- Crowley can say shit like "Miss me angel~~??" and he would keep a bored face and not react at all (he screamed with the walls 4 hours later)

- he's also a tsudere collegial but he at least try to look cool and composed in public

- he's the Aziraphale that most believes in heaven, he's sure they are good and selfless and the right side

- he's not so brilliant tbh but he got a lot of spirit

- the most active Aziraphale ?? He really put his hand in the dirt and do the things alone

- the most angry and bad tempered of them all, bro scream "WE ARE CLOSED LOOK AT THE DAMN SIGN" when ppl barely touch the bookshop door

- he has a lot of patience with Crowley, not deserved tbh bc he thinks it's his personal job to get in Aziraphale's nerves

- overall he is polite

- he's really proud of their "arrangement" there not only one chance he let go without saying that

- he likes to provoke Crowley sometimes too but not as much as the other way around

- if he ever call Crowley dear he will explode

TV Aziraphale:

- bitchiest

- this man need to be sedated what the fuck Aziraphale

- most nuts of then all he's CRAZY

- he's the most up to do shit with Crowley they're insane together

- he doesn't let Crowley rest he is flirting and being cute and hitting on Crowley all the time

- he's so obviously in love with Crowley its embarrassing

- he's the fruitiest he's the entire salad

- the most... indulgent, if I can say, of them all

- more like an employer of heaven, different of book Aziraphale

- he's the only one with almost white hair

- he got kissed but at what cost

- he's the most intelligent of all of them how can he be this dumb

- he loves little things about earth and humans and life and he seems to be the Aziraphale that most love EARTH itself, like, the life, the humans, the food, the little pleasures we have, the little time of happiness we have between all the shit that is happening... he really loves humans <3

- he's conflicted about heaven, he seems to know that there's something WRONG with how heaven works but still doesn't understand what exactly it is

- "oh but saving me makes him soooo happyyyy~~~"

- overall kind and sweet, in a excited way

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #crowley #Aziraphale #radio omens #good omens radio #good omens book #thats my opinion #more like some thoughts i have been collecting since im hearing radio omens #not really accurate #does this count as character study???? #lol I think not #maybe i have a preference for radio Aziraphale i wrote so much more about him and ended up erasing it all bc it made me look insane #shit its 2 am I'm so sleepy

[padawanlost]

just saw a text post about how leia killing a slave master when anakin was a slave himself is cool but i find it interesting how ppl can find rational things to point out for stuff like that but when its anakin disliking a sandy planet like its ridiculous thing for him to say? but made so much sense cause you know... he's been enslaved there with his mom as a kid. idk i guess im still bitter of hayden/anakins treatment of his character

I get it but I believe the key here is to understand this weird moment we are a living right now (suddenly the prequels are cool and *everyone* had always loved them) by separating the old negative crap we were used to, from the genuine takes coming from the new found love the prequels are getting.

What I’m trying to say is the people who are excited by the prequels, who are discovering the value of the movies for the first time or just rediscovering it after so long, are not necessarily the same people who trashed the movies and made fun of Anakin’s “sand issues” or Hayden’s performance. So, to me at least, there’re two different issues here:

1 – for the longest time PT fans and Anakin fans had to deal with unfair amount of criticism, hate, mockery and even attacks. These behaviors came from part of the fandom and the media because for the longest time hating on the prequels made you cool and a “real star wars fan”.

2 – we have a bunch of new fans (literal new fans but also old fans who didn’t like or didn’t want to be seen liking the prequels) who are now vocal about the PT-Era, who want to talk about it, to engage, to discuss and, you know, just share their appreciation for the movies.

I try not to mix the two, especially in this particular case. From my own experience with this fandom, the people who trashed Anakin for not liking sand didn’t understand his character enough to get the impact slavery had on the Skywalker family.

I’ve talked about the “sand issue” here before:

But, to sum it up, the meaning behind the “I hate sand” is pretty obvious once you look beyond “Anakin is whiny/The prequels suck/George Lucas ruined my life”.

“When I was in Level Three, we used to come here for school retreat,” she said. She pointed out across the way, to another island. “See that island? We used to swim there every day. I love the water.” “I do, too. I guess it comes from growing up on a desert planet.” He was staring at her again, his eyes soaking in her beauty. He could tell that Padmé sensed his stare, but she pointedly continued to look out over the water. “We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us … and try to guess the names of the birds singing.” “I don’t like the sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere.” Padmé turned to look back at him “Not here,” Anakin went on. “It’s like that on Tatooine—everything’s like that on Tatooine. But here, everything’s soft, and smooth.” As he finished, hardly even aware of the motion, he reached out and stroked Padmé’s arm. [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

It’s about childhood trauma, privilege and systemic injustice and inequality. The sand physically represents everything Anakin loathes about his home planet, specially when compared to Padmé’s own childhood and home planet:

“This is Anakin. Anakin, this is Ryoo and Pooja!” The blush on the pair as they shyly said hello brought a burst of laughter from Padmé and a smile to Anakin’s face, though he was equally ill at ease as the two children. The girls’ shyness lasted only as long as it took for them to notice the little droid rolling behind Anakin, trying to catch up. “Artoo!” they shouted in unison. Breaking away from Padmé, they rushed to the droid, leaping upon him, hugging him cheek to dome. And R2-D2 seemed equally thrilled, beeping and whistling as happily as Anakin had ever heard. Anakin couldn’t help but be touched by the scene, a view of innocence that he had never known. Well, not never, he had to admit. There were times when Shmi had found some way to produce such moments of joy amid the drudgery that was life as a slave on Tatooine. In their own way, in that dusty, dirty, hot, and smelly place, Anakin and his mother had carved out a few instants of innocent beauty. Here, though, such moments seemed so much more the norm than the memorable exception. [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

[Ahsoka] was hyperalert again, all her instincts firing. One of these millennia she’d make a pretty good Jedi, probably. Provided he could smooth the rough edges off her. “Yes, Master,” she said. “You can trust me.” He frowned down at her. Was I ever this young? Was this how I used to look to Obi-Wan? He doubted it. Slaves lost their innocence while they were still in the cradle. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

Of course, because it became a meme used to “expose” George Lucas inability to write, direct or even understand what Star Wars is all about (eyeroll), that’s what most casual viewer think about when someone says “I hate sand”. But, on a more hopeful note, I do believe we’re doing good work claiming it back, by talking about it and even making memes about it in a way that’s not offensive to the characters, actors or fans. There are healthy, fun ways to laugh at Star wars  without diminishing the experiences and feelings of others.

Anakin represents so much different things to so many different fans it’s impossible to put everything in one single answer, but I hope you know I do understand exactly how you feel. I’m also very protective of Anakin, flaws and all. And it does annoy me to see people dismiss him and Hayden’s work in ways that can be very…cruel. But, Prequel/Anakin’s fans are awesome and now we’ve reclaimed the prequels proper place in history as peak star wars, we are unstoppable!! So let them come!

They just can’t accept how incredible Anakin’s story is, and that’s their loss.  

“Anakin had always hated sand. It was one of the many things about his Padawan that Obi-Wan understood better now that Anakin was dead. That was the horror of losing someone: Understanding came too late.” [Obi-wan Kenobi in Jude Watson’s The Last One Standing]

#ask #anon #sw meta #anakin skywalker #meta: anakin #mine #txt

[spicypopcornfromhell]

IF I GET NERFED FOR BEING TRANSFEM MY DISCORD IS POPCORNFROMHELL (mutuals only) if not ask first

This blog is safe for systems and/or otherkin. Yall are valid idc what the feds say fuck em neopronouns are also fucking dope. Idc what you look like your hot and if you see this you get one (1) kiss and one(1)headpats. Also im like trans now. It took me 18 yrs but i figured it out

This blog is also pro therian(idk if spelling is correct)

If i say no animals yalls are excluded welcome to the blog

2024 jan 8th( i think)

I has a discord if mutuals wan it ig

Thanks for making me realise, a list of contributors:

Other trans ppl

Femboys

Furrys

Irl cis women ik

Egg irl

Traaaaaaa

Funny kink list( it dosent apply to you so if ur not into it I understand lol, a good example is my piss kink. If you aren't into that kink, I would avoid it whenever I talk to/reference you. Thus rather focusing on what your into if it fits my criteria)

Hell you dont even have to be horny here, this space exists as my "I'm a adult and interested in my own sex life" blog.

Last edit 2023dec

So I reblog alot of porn or written thoughts and sometimes memes. However it is like a cursed pendulum it changes at random the ratio I post and what I post. Today it has just been hentai. Tomorrow it might me horny thoughts of myself or other peaple please keep that in mind uwu

Before we begin:

Hiiiii it's me I'm pop but pet names and nicknames are also chill👍 I'm 89.9% submissive and I can top in a subby way though I'm mostly bottom ❤ I have they/them pronouns and such but use like any pronouns you'd like,(neopronouns welcome) HOWEVER pls pls pls try not to use masc pronouns bc I'm girl now heheheh yayyyyy!!!!!!

dude is gender neutral here👍

Oops I forgot to add I wanna try bottoming sometime lol bc am virgin

Dec8 update. Ok maybe domming is cool but im still a submissive bitch. Tho i can be a dom amongst subs

Dec19

Heyyyyy i saw other people say this but like

I struggle messaging first alot of the time and like im sorry mutualssssss

Hii yes you found my kink exploration and h3nt8i blog+y1ff so theres that

I like

Toys

Furrys

Furry toys (those tail things and cat ears and such)

Casual hj

Casual nudaty ( basicly only thighighs or such idk)

Good vibes in public (literal) app controlled lol

Mutually getting off casually

Calling my dominant master ( or any dom name idk)

Causal free use between partners

Biting( any participant)

Clamps

Fingers in mouth kink

Choking

tounge biting

Tied up with other subs (bc group activity is fun uwu)

2 domms but like at once

Watersportsss( both top/bottem)

freeuse( again, yes)

Being manhandled (rough)

Ear licking( I get the asmr now) + endogenous zone

Neck biting/kissing

Ik I missed ALOT of kinks so ye sorry bout that

Tbf I'm into most things kinky but I have my limits so discuss first uwu

I do not like

Transphobes ( dni like go die painfully )

Maps(pedos) ( no no no dni die)

Chasers (VERY FUCKING RELEVANT NOW)

Verbal degradation (do it physically rather ig)

Like you can call me slut and what not but bc of trauma dont like say I'm shit or not enough and such bc nah

Beasiality/zoophilia ( kids and animals dont belong in kink )

Minors( join my sfw blog but FUCK Off from here)

Age regressors are fine tho welcome hiiii

If you didn't get it the first time animals and kids do not belong in kink.

I'm putting down these limits because I want this to be a safe space for kinky (vannila is also chill)queer peaple and if you are a proper ally to lgbtqa+ then cis peaple are fine here but straight peaple are gonna struggle finding their stuff here . I mean ur welcome but like I'm trans, and if you cant be fine with the fact I'm trans then leave.

In other words, cis peaple are welcome. Respect my boundaries, i respect yours. Also respecting boundaries are hot btw

I talk alot about t4t and gay shit both ways. You wont find relatable stuff here (unless you're into the hentai/yiff) nothing personal ofc

Also also final thing is you can call me any pet names but please, try going for the more feminine complements and pet names and nicknames 2024 update no more masc terms byeeeeeeee am so trans it hurts

Do not call me this,(slurs) unless you are trans them we can be ironic about it

tranny

, if you are cis NO, i kick you. In crotch. The unpleasant way. Transpeaple that reclaimed this can be ironic about it lol

, sissy cuntboy or shemale ,

No. I kick you in crotch. The bad perma injury way.

Heyyy I did a thing yall

Also sorry for the mispells bc website flags words on posts I thinks

Aight this shit bout to get updated for my safety bc of what happend

Commandments of my dms

If ur lgbtqa+ ur chill come say hi even

I accept Cis ppl that are chil and accepting (chasers die)

If ur straight tho then this place ain't really for you (affectionate bc I have straight besties that actually are nice)

Do NOT just storm into dms with an exception of pics, being freeusse is a bedroom fantasy I do with CONSENTING peaple. If I havent given you a go ahead then you talk to me like a person

I'm here to make queer gay bi/pan and trans besties. Chill cis peaple are also chill because I realise that allies exist and that gay/lesbian/bi pan peaple also exist

Also If ur sapphic i do also reblog waifus so everybody profits from this blog, still do chat with me bc I like meeting new peaple. No being horny isint rlly a requirement bc I use this blog to Express my more sensual and sexual side sure, but like we can just like for example gush about our fantasies and traumadump to eachover.

Also I forget to mention if you are a mutual you basicly already have most of my trust

Anything below marked in red is mentions of trauma and venting ignore if you wish

I like shit when its consensual but I dont like rape, idk why but it's a serious topic for me .27nov2023 I saw someshit depicting it and not only did it kill the mood I legit felt shit the whole morning, I get cnc but non consent is fucked. It affected me when I was young , it still affects me today. I wasent touched and I may be a softie but having a bathroom door forced open while I was doing my stuff in there, even today I struggle to pee in public bathrooms oh and I got bladder infection from that. Long story short rape is fucked and if you condone actual rape I hope to whatever is out there you die. Once more I reiterate but cnc stuff is fine. Actual stuff is not.

Ty for understanding ig

This piece of shit pinned keeps growing huh

Hehe( vanilla means treat me like a prince/princess/gender neutral term for those)

Big words bc eng is my 2nd language. Idk what half of those means

I'm guessing hostility means I'm a brat uwu

If you red this far for some reason then I'm proud of youu❤ also even tho I'm a sub TOPS and dommes also deserve praise

Also 3 dec edit: ive been giving it thought and i knew i wasent cis, but im like, super trans. Its comforting knowing who i am after years of doubt.

Also new pronouns just dropped!!!!!!

@meandering-rook im not leaving that response to die in the tags uwu this is like top tear complements

Like

Woah uwu

2023last edit 29dec

Ummmmm im trying a feminine alias

Call me poppy or Silova or any feminine name your brains conjure

[petefromarma]

Dont get me wrong but that course of events you laid out sounds like a mostly good thing? Gabe saying anything even kinda resembling an apology is already better than the Absolutely Nothing I was expecting

i’m putting this under a cut as it’s long

yeah i mean i do think them donating to a relief org would be the absolute best thing possible bc like as of rn nothing abt this is materially helping palestinians. it’s all just noise which honestly i probably shouldn’t be contributing to bc i always knew this was going to happen and i’ve always known what pete and gabe are like. i’ve also always known what the other three are like but pete and gabe are the only ones who have done and said things prior to this incident (other than being silent) irt palestine that warranted outright criticism. anyway my main problem rn is w gabe’s statement.

the reason i’m unimpressed w it is bc i feel like it’s smth either he or an intern paraphrased in like two minutes (again, always knew this was going to be the response if any), and doesn’t address what the majority of the problem was imo, which was that he was parroting blood libel propaganda put out by the israeli govt re oct 7th. i haven’t gone and looked at the post myself recently, only seen screenshots of his comments, so idk if he took that part down, but that to me is the greatest issue. i never had a problem w him mourning the civilian casualties/hostages of oct 7th.

like addressing the discontent at all IS a good thing but i don’t believe his comment covers anything that he actually needed to apologize for and i’ve already seen teenage westerners who clearly learned abt palestine for the first time like. five months ago. trying to speak on this situation with authority that is not earned and not deserved.

and i’d like to be clear and say that i don’t believe all or even most blunders re saying something ignorant online require a full apology; i think that in most cases, deleting whatever was said is enough. i don’t think pile ons or bullying are conducive to rehabilitation or a change in behavior. however, to me, this is a special situation in which i believe a full retraction is necessary bc as i said before, he was spreading israeli govt propaganda.

none of what he said was new to me either. i know he’s the descendant of holocaust survivors, and more than that, i know his family had to flee europe and later uruguay. i know that like many jewish families do, his parents kept a box in their home in nyc filled with their passports and valuables in case they needed to get out of the country in a hurry; he needs to realize that this and so much worse is the reality that palestinins are living every single day.

the israeli govt preys upon and exploits the generational trauma of jewish individuals/families/communities in order to sow fear, terrorize palestinians, and further the colonization of palestinian land; i have complete understanding of how he’s been radicalized to this point, but it doesn’t excuse what he’s said and done and i think the only real way of fixing this is putting his money where his mouth is and making a public donation. again i’m not demanding anything of him, i’m not saying this will or won’t happen, i’m just saying what i think SHOULD be done and what would be the most effective from a harm reduction standpoint. can he come back from being radicalized to the point he was/is? i don’t know. i’d like to think so. all i know is that that statement didn’t address what i think it should have addressed IF it was supposed to be considered at all meaningful and i think the way ppl have been reacting to it is inappropriate.

anyway, sidebar bc i’m going to attempt to stop talking about this after this post and go back to focusing on initiatives that actually benefit ppl in palestine rn, but i think fans (who are not palestinian) who were shocked by this were living in a fantasy world and i think the way those fans esp those on twt have reacted toward meredith has been abhorrent. as i said a lot of this has just been noise rather than any action that is meaningful in any way and i think that while we should be realistic abt what we are going to get from them we should also be able to acknowledge where any actions of theirs are lacking.

#also if anyone has a problem w me using the term blood libel i’m not sorry bc it is what the israeli govt is doing

[liquidstar]

Ok so, I have only ever watched one episode of Adventure Time, and it was on a hotel room TV, in terrible hindi dub, and I barely remember it on account of being 10(?) but it horrified me.

I remember the MCs trying to get Ice King a girlfriend or something, but he keeps being a gross asshole so they take him to a lake and point at some swans to try and explain love to him. They point to two swans kissing like ':D' and he's like 'ewww' and then the male swan suCKS IN AND EATS THE FEMALE and IK's like ':)))' while the boys stare in horror.

IDR how the episode ended or how much I watched, but I remember thinking 'wow american cartoons are hardcore. I'm sticking to pirated pokemon from now on.'

And you are telling me that show had lesbians in it leter????

oh my god im so sorry but imagining you watching that swan scene as a 10 year old is so fucking funny, i can understand why you stuck with pirated pokemon LOL

adventure time is absolutely very fucked up in a lot of different ways. the early seasons leaned into that type of absurd shit you just described a lot more especially. while the later ones actually started getting more existential and building on the worlds lore.

there wasnt exactly a focused plot, per say. i mean, there was, but it wasnt something methodical and planned out, it was played by ear. and i think it really worked. the way they did it turned out a really cool magic system (based on the idea that reality is just collective perception, and magic users are aware of this and can manipulate perception ergo reality. but the more cosmic knowledge you have the more insane or depressed you become etc especially if youre mortal), and also cool world building (it takes place in a post apocalypse after a nuclear war, now far into the future the face of the earth has completely changed but the horrors unleashed still impact it today), and also a lot of really amazing themes (the world is always changing and nothing is ever permanent, but no matter how things change things also stay the same, in a different way. especially where bonds and love are concerned. everything stays.)

and YEAH there are lesbians (i mean i always hc marcy as bi but still). and they also come from the shows improvisational nature. theres a lot of genuinely really amazing relationships and plotpoints born out of that to me. like, as the show starts to get a lot more thematically dense later on it can seem like a weird shift. some ppl say it got pretentious over time bc its not as goofy (its still pretty goofy lol), but i think it worked... like... perfectly.

because its a coming of age story where the main character actually ages, it actually feels so right that the world around him begins to seem different too. it makes sense that when he was 12 we were doing stupid goofy adventures, when he was 15 we were watching him deal with a lot of really fucked up trauma, and when he was 17 we watched him learn to grow as a person who thinks beyond simple terms of good and evil.

i know im tottaaallly rambling at this point but theres really an insane amount to talk about with adventure time. the timeline alone is ridiculous. but mostly i think my passion comes down to the fact that i was also growing up with the story, always around the same age as the mc going through similar stuff... even now, the story is focusing on a depressed 20-something trying to find whimsy in her life again. and technically the last episode timeline-wise is about accepting death lol

so like idk how exactly id recommend it to a new viewer, its really possible that a lot of ppl wont be able to really tolerate the early seasons as adults (i mean, i think theyre charming, but i have nostalgia goggles lol). that being said i think that its a series totally worth a shot for everyone... eventually. if it sounds interesting you just gotta accept the goofiness at first and trust that youre in for something wild in a totally different way later on. and totally unique and cool and special in a way nothing else has really been able to capture for me since.

TL;DR: no yeah the show was incredibly fucked up and that swan did eat that other swan. but it does have themes and also lesbians.

[arowrath]

speaking of psychosis- i wasn't speaking of it here but i was speaking of it- i've been trying to figure out what was up with the great psychotic episode of freshman year, because i had assumed it was a trauma-induced psychosis type of deal, but it occurred to me that i was definitely having sort of thought broadcasting types of beliefs, probably some other stuff but i can't remember atm and don't feel like digging thru my old vent account lol. (ramble continues under the cut this got VERY long)

(line with text so tumblr doesn't eat the image. idk if it still does that but better safe than sorry)

(the months with "2" are split into first and second half of the month bc it was relevant, couldnt figure out how else to signify that succinctly)

i cut out the labels of each belief for safety + in case that's triggering to ppl but each row is a different belief i had that in retrospect was probably some sort of delusion? top two are very similar but different enough i tracked them differently. bottom two might have just been anxiety+ptsd but i do really think they're connected to this

it was definitely at its worst mid nov-end of jan, but started in september and didn't really let up til like june

anyway like i said i had assumed it was a combination of trauma and being off my meds and isolation that made the perfect situation for me to go fucking crazy, but i hadn't really thought about it that hard . but now that i Am thinking about it, again, i was definitely having these kinds of beliefs before The Trauma

and in my past self's defense. one thing about my thought broadcasting beliefs specifically was that i was straight up being essentially cyberstalked at the time and didn't know, so i was completely right that certain people knew more about me than i had told them, but i was wrong about the reason why

anyway i was reading up on schizospec disorders for class (kind of. also just for fun) -- also important context schizophrenia does run in my family i think on both sides? but my parents are weird about talking about it. so that's part of this also.

but i noticed that of the three labels i was looking at- brief psychotic disorder, schizophreniform, and schizophrenia- (i didn't look into schizoaffective bc i dont think i have many bipolar symptoms, and didn't look into stpd bc i don't think it counts as a personality disorder if it lasts like 10 months lol, and delusional disorder because i do think i had some negative*&cognitive symptoms (*psych term meaning absence of things present in nonschizospec people, not literally just bad symptoms lol)-- though to be fair, that may have just been a combination of situational aspects & autism?)-- either way, it's not on this beautiful and awesome diagram in mspaint i made so i could illustrate the timeline aspect of the diagnostic criteria:

bc a diagnosis of brief psychotic disorder requires symptoms to only last a month, and schizophreniform for 1-6 months, whereas schizophrenia is lifelong .

basically the problem is- while the worst part of my psychotic(?) symptoms lasted ~4months, they were definitely there in some form for around 10 months, which is too long for a diagnosis of schizophreniform, but i don't feel comfortable just, assuming it's schizophrenia lol, especially when most of the symptoms i experienced dont affect my life anymore? it does make me nervous though that this happened right around the typical age of onset.

this might just be a problem with diagnoses being too specific to cover the entire spectrum of human experience, and i might just be outside of any area where a specific label could be applied . also, i know it's been written about but not become an actual diagnostic label- but there are places where ocd and psychosis can over lap, and schizo-obsessive disorder has been suggested as a diagnostic label, but not officially used anywhere afaik..

i think my main concern at this point is just, whether or not i should be concerned about it coming back. like, is it possible to be in various stages of active psychosis(?? it still feels very strange to refer to it that way but i guess that's what it was, so) for ~4-10 months, and then just be chilling after. or should i be worried. was this a one-time thing starting because i was off my meds and being worsened by isolation and trauma or is there a possibility of this happening again. and i think that's a question that can't be answered with any certainty, probably

#text #health tag

[anti-ao3]

okay, sorry to hammer on the topic of bullying, but the whole "bully with a sad backstory" belief is extremely harmful to victims/survivors.

idk where it started, but firstly, i do think that school shootings influence this belief. everyone always says that school shooters have been bullied and/or abused at home, which might be true sometimes. but that isn't the root of the problem. the root is white supremacy. it's lack of gun control. because if all victims of bullying became school shooters, then where are all the marginalized groups, like black kids, disabled kids, women, lgbt+ kids etc.? if anything, though, they would probably be demonized. since most school shooters are white, then you'll see them being treated like poor little guys on the internet. i'm talking mainly about the usa, but here in brazil, where i live, we also have school shootings and we learn that the shooters were part of neonazi communities online.

fiction does reinforce this, to the dickheads who think "fiction doesn't affect reality". there are too many bully characters to possibly mention here. but most of them have something in common, they're abused and/or neglected at home, or maybe they're also bullied. but trust me, that is very uncommon in real life. i only had ONE bully who was also mistreated. all my other bullies were privileged, rich kids that just loved making my existence unbearable. and again, many of the victims of bullying i knew, including myself, weren't white, or they were disabled and/or fat. before anyone says it, yes, i'm very aware that bullies learn from their parents and families. but that doesn't always mean they're ABUSED, too. if anything, their families probably encourage their kids being an asshole to minorities.

the reason i'm saying all of this is that bullying is not treated seriously at all. i've been dismissed and ignored several times when i tried to open up about my bullying, including to my school and actual therapists. ppl often tell me it wasn't "that bad" or i'm exaggerating, and it was just "kids being kids" or "boys being boys". or worse, they'll tell me that i have to acknowledge that maybe my bullies/abusers had a tragic backstory too, and i have to forgive them. which is absolute bullshit.

bullying ruined my life. on top of my abusive household, i've become insecure, terrified of social interactions, of group assignments, of presentations, parties and so on. i'm always expecting everyone to hate me. i keep thinking everyone is looking at me and laughing at me behind my back. basically, i've become paranoid. i can't trust anyone. and that probably explains why i seriously hate bully characters and the way society treats bullies overall. i actually remember making a post about bullying on tumblr, and some idiot tried to make it about the bullies and how "they're victims, too".

maybe i'm being too unfair or too harsh because of my personal experience, but i feel very unwelcome in fandoms where bully characters are beloved. nobody thinks my trauma with bullying is valid. society tells me it's not actually abusive or traumatic. no matter how many lives we lose to bullying, nobody cares. and to be reminded of that when i want to interact with a media i like is so daunting.

#i'm sorry for the long post i hope this makes sense #lotus.txt #bullying tw #shootings tw #suicide tw #self-harm tw #self harm tw #sh tw #long post #personal

[itsjaywalkers]

hi laurie <3 how is your health? do you feel better?

there’s another big discourse about regulus character, what is ooc for him, what is not, was he right, did he deserve redemption or did he deserve to die as villain. you know, same old conversation, but it made me curious about your vision of his character! how do you view him in canon? do you think he was more morally dark than grey or more grey than dark? tell me everything please <3

hi lovely!! my health's fine, i'm completely recovered!! it was a tough week but i survived that stupid chest infection

oooooh u know i don't care about discourse but i love how u just brought it up to . turn it into a nice lil debate and ask about my portrayal of a character <333

we obviously don't get a lot about reg in canon but i think we get enough!! a couple of what could be core traits (since what we learn of him is all from sirius pov who's . quite biased) and some of his backstory!! so yes, he's kind of a blank slate of a character, which is incredibly fun when it comes to fanfiction but also . i truly believe there's a foundation here, even if a tiny unstable one yk??

anyways, to me, regulus is quite morally grey, but i don't think . he's more dark or more grey . the lovely kat (@messrsage) wrote a very interesting post about this a while ago, they talked about how the black brothers are both morally grey, and that sirius isn't more good or regulus more bad. they move up and down the spectrum, depending on who they keep as friends, on what influences them and their environment. i think the word kat used was morally fluid?? or something along those lines. and i absolutely agree!!

i don't believe sirius was better or inherently good. i just think that they had different responses for the same trauma. that they surrounded themselves by very different kinds of ppl. neither of them is in the right or in the wrong, yk?? they're both victims!! regulus thought that . obeying and listening to their parents and doing what he was told was the best course of action and there's nothing wrong with that

sirius implies that reg wasn't . capable of thinking on his own . that he was 'soft enough to believe them' (referring to their parents) which has always made me think that . despite reg definitely believing in blood supremacy and all that bullshit, at least for a while, it wasn't because he rationalised the whole thing all by himself and thought it was True and Right and Genuine, but that walburga and orion said this was how the world worked and he didn't think of questioning it. sirius did and look where that got him, right?? and besides, those are his parents, and despite how strict and cruel they can be sometimes, they love him, regulus knows they do, so why would they lie. i think he was comfortable, in a way, in the life that his parents made for him, and if not fighting back and agreeing with everything also stopped the abuse then even better

it's like the death eater thing. i'm sure his family had a lot to do with it!! and sure, it was also implied that reg had this weird nerdy fixation with voldemort, but i don't think that means . he was bad . voldemort was such a powerful wizard, and his family, or at least part of it, supported him and chose to follow him, so why wouldn't he find him interesting?? or even worthy of admiration?? he ended up betraying him and sacrificing himself the moment he realised what voldemort actually intended to do. besides, he was a fucking kid. people tend to forget that he was literally 16 when he joined the death eaters. and idk about u, but i was a fucking idiot at 16. not awful or anything, ofc, but i still did and said a lot of shit i'm not proud of, simply bc i didn't know better. but the thing is that i wasn't expected to!! bc again, i was just a kid!! doesn't excuse any of my mistakes, but i do think it's a fact that u gotta take into account when u try to judge someone

i think regulus wasn't a hero, but he wasn't a villain either. i think he was a terrified boy trying to survive. trying to make his family proud. and by the time he finally realised his mistake, it was too late. he still tried to fix his shit, and i think that matters. does that make him a good person?? nah, not really. but i think it makes him human

on a more surface level, my regulus is . proud . stubborn . spoiled . posh . mean in a non-targeted way, it's never personal to him (or not usually) and he's not trying to hurt anyone, it's just . a defence mechanism?? part of his personality, in a way. he isn't trying to be cruel on purpose. i think he's also a curious person, but it's a part of him he tends to ignore or supress, bc his parents don't like it. i think he's a follower and that he hates being the centre of attention, but at the same time, he's jealous of the way sirius seems to have everyone's eyes on him when he enters a room. he can be petty and resentful, but he's also shy and quiet and so very soft. it's a side of him that not a lot of ppl get to see, bc it's weak, but it's very much there, and i think that's the regulus that sirius knew most of his life. the regulus that he knew (or at least wanted to believe) was still there, which probably make him speak of him in such a . gentle way?? like yes, he called him an idiot but he has no qualms about cursing the rest of his family out, and he's pretty mean to all of them (with good reason) except andromeda and regulus. to me, that means he still loved his brother, and if sirius is still capable of . caring about regulus, at least to a certain degree, without even knowing about his change of heart . well . he couldn't have been that awful

there's also quite the debate about the kreacher thing, and whether reg was actually kind-hearted enough to believe and defend elves' rights or if it was simply the fact that it was kreacher, his house elf, and nothing else. personally, i don't think it matters that much. whatever his reason was, he still decided to betray voldermort over it, and tried to do the right thing, even tho the risk was High and he didn't know if he'd make it. that's what i believe says more about his character than what his exact tipping point was

and god i'm gonna shut up now, this turned out to be so ridiculously long i just . find regulus so interesting SORRY NONNIE😭

#asks #anons #regulus black

[pokedext]

Toxic positivity is real. I feel like I’m seeing more as a lot of ppl forget friendships are a two way street. Like sometimes your self care is leaning too heavy into selfish and address that. Feels like so many young ppl want life to just be good vibes and no rain. A good friendship has support and jokes. It doesn’t mean drain yourself. But legit had a person go off about needing a warning for injections. I’m thinking okay you asked and I answered… I’ll humor this situation it’s not that bad. Deleted the comment and amended to not mention it ever again without a warning. Regretted it because they proceeded to go off how my whole hospital stuff is uncomfortable. I set off on them at that point. Im sorry you asked about it you can’t be mad. Sorry the answer was a surprise life is not just a trigger warning in advance. That’s just not possible for everything. I have no idea what will set someone off. I promise it was more trauma to go to the hospital then you having to hear about it. All I said is I went to the hospital for my spinal pain cause I had cardiac issues/paralysis. It is scary but it’s just a sentence. This person has never had to deal with anything like that and it’s offensive they feel their comfort should be a consideration for something they asked about. Like just be a supportive person. Just feel compassion or something that I lived that instead of talk about the thought of it bothering your mental health. I didn’t ask you for therapy on it I have a therapist/pysch for it. Where do you think my mental health was? Fuck these type of ppl. Your self care/toxic positivity are blinders for easy living. But the friends I appreciate most we give equal support/listen when we can, and don’t start this kind crap with each other. If they are that emotionally bothered they could have made it come across a lot less callous then they did. I didn’t bring it up. Why am I punished for answering and the answer being uncomfortable. Like mentally address life might have some uncomfortable conversations. I didn’t need help, I just answered a question grow a spine and a heart. Im just depressed enough as it is I try to just vent to the void/therapist/pysch/chronic pain groups because this type of thinking is common unfortunately. I also do understand it’s a lot to process. But I didn’t get too much into the grit of it. Ppl just don’t want to think about problems outside their own these days. It’s fucking toxic. I think I need to rearrange my friendships. I have friends I love hanging out with. Got a friend we pick a place to eat and do vent sessions. We get along great. Have fun too. Idk where to find ppl. The ppl I have that are great like that for support are like 30+ years. Is it just young ppl that don’t have the emotional capacity to be adults with other adults? Do I need to limit the amount of young ppl I hang around with the uptrend of this self focus culture. Am I wrong? Am I overacting? Do I have shitty friends?

#long post #vent

[misaverawrites]

Hi, can you write an Andrew Deluca x reader? (hot...)

Crush, Crush, Crush (Andrew DeLuca x Reader)

summary: You have enough of all the teasing towards Andrew and you. Andrew finds it in himself to clear up the rumors.

tags: friends to lovers, your fellow interns keep teasing the two ppl who don't know the other one has a crush kind of trope, kissing, old grey's elevator drama lol, sudden passionate expressions of love.

a/n: idk he's kinda growing on me tbh

You love the hospital. You always had since you were a kid. While it scared other kids, it fascinated you with all the machines, doctors, and all of the excitement.

Working at the hospital as an adult undergoing your surgical residency? That was a different story completely. It was competitive and now that the excitement was happening to you, it was a lot less fun. It was even worse considering how gossipy the hospital could be, everybody spent all of their time here, and thus, it made them concerned with everything happening to everyone else who worked here.

That concern, unfortunately, did not stop with you. Or your love life.

"Can you just finally go there?" Levi asked you as the two of you walked side by side, He was on Dr. Pierce's service whilst you were going to work with Dr. Hunt in trauma for the day, hoping to get your certification.

"Go where Levi?" You asked suspiciously to your friend as he grinned at you, "You know exactly where I'm talking about, with who to be more precise. DeLuca." You sigh, rolling your eyes, "Yeah right, he doesn't like me like that. Besides, you just have a new boyfriend in your brain. Don't make it your project to get me a boyfriend." You did like Andrew, but you resigned yourself to never being enough for him. He needed someone better than you, at least you felt that way.

You clicked on the elevator button and when the doors opened, there was Andrew, standing there with his stupid, perfect smile and eyes. Levi gave you a knowing smirk, you wanted to punch him but stepped into the elevator with him by your side. "What floor?" Andrew asked the both of you, giving you a warm smile, "I'm going to the pit, he's going to floor 3." Andrew nods, "I'm in the pit today too! I think Hunt likes my experience, I'm not sure if I'm gonna go into trauma though. Y'know?" You nod, gritting your teeth at Levi hanging all over you, "Yeah, I do, DeLuca." The air was tense between you two, as Levi coughed subtly, "I'm working with Doctor Pierce today... Cardio's not my thing but, I find the heart interesting. Don't you, (Y/N)? DeLuca? I bet you both do.”

You turn to glare at Levi, “I am begging you, Levi, please, stop talking.” Levi stops but not before the doors open and he shoots you a smile, you roll your eyes and try your best to ignore DeLuca’s gaze. It feels as if his eyes gaze into you for a moment and then he asks, “Am I missing something, or has Levi finally lost it?” He laughs a bit and you sigh before turning to face him, “Levi’s like that. You know?” Andrew squints a bit, quizzically.

“No, because, Levi isn’t like that. I mean- he is, especially right now with the new boyfriend but I think you like me because Carina hasn’t shut up about you all of this morning and I know you and her work together a lot and… I think you like me.” Andrew looks proud, if not a bit nervous. He’s definitely not as confident as he’s trying to come off right now. You press the elevator stop button and turn to face him, “I do like you, Andrew but, you need someone better than me. I’m not a great surgeon like Meredith Grey or Amelia Shepherd and I think-!” Andrew cuts you off with a kiss, swift and impromptu, but a kiss nonetheless. You gasp, of all the things that you thought would be happening today, kissing Andrew DeLuca was not at all it. "Look, I really like you, I want you with me, you're going to be an amazing surgeon." With that, he kisses you again, pushing you against the wall tenderly.

"Wait, people are gonna get pissed if the elevator stops for that long, also... I want to wait until I can shave my legs and have a night of sleep and all that," You both laugh a bit as he pushes the button to get the elevator running down again, when the elevator doors slide open, there's a minorly sizable crowd outside, people stare at the doors, a bit miffed at the wait as the two of you walk out of the elevator and get to the pit, hand and hand.

#grey's fanfic #andrew deluca fanfic #andrew deluca imagine #andrew deluca #andrew deluca x reader #greys abc #greys anatomy #grey's anatomy #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

[moondragon618]

So uh. I think I've decided that I want to be a little bit more open about some things on here bc honestly trying not to acknowledge it is just causing me a ton of unnecessary stress (and I'm sure as fuck not acknowledging it irl lmaooo) so yeah. So I'll start with this: I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents (mom and stepdad) and my younger but also adult brother (they all have some form of income but it's only just barely enough to get by). Now on its own the whole all of us living together thing should not be that big of a deal apparently according to what I've learned from hearing other ppl's experiences in similar situations. Unfortunately my parents do not think like this. My mom especially is convinced that we are literally ruining her life so y'know that's fun (:

Okay but seriously. I'm about to sound like I'm trying to downplay this (and maybe I am bc. Yk.) but like a good 80% or so of the time it's. Fine. We get along okay. But I know that's only bc we never acknowledge The Problems outside of the few bad days and we always just go on like those never even happened. And here's what I mean by bad days btw: ""Family Meetings"". Yeah that phrase is literally a fucking trigger for me now it's fucking bullshit. When I was younger it meant "me getting screamed at about how fucked up I am and how fucked I'll be in the "real world" and how I'm just "a soft spoiled little bitch bc I never got my ass beat" (like my brother. bc he's definitely fine and has no issues at all lmaooo) (and usually without the bitch part aside from once when I was a teenager) and now it's more "me getting screamed at by my mom abt how I'm ruining her life and her marriage" etc. etc. So yeah. My stepdad is a little better in that he only yelled at me one time when I was like 12 I think? And then never again. And he seems to at least understand that if screaming at still hasn't "fixed" me after 25 fucking years then it's probably not going to so yeah. And he did actually kind of stand up for me during the last one (in late September-ish) which I know isn't much but it's still way more than anyone else has done so I do appreciate it.

Anyway the last one was really fun (terrible) I got the usual + being told I being disrespectful for not coming out to the living room bc I was having a panic attack and quite literally frozen and unable to move 👍👍👍 And I've also been limited to just my phone since then bc my mom took my computer (bc god forbid we consider there might be a reason I'm on it so much) and still hasn't given it back and tbh I think I'd rather kms than ask for it back so that's fun too (:

I am aware that this is abusive behavior and that screaming at your child for any reason is in fact child abuse btw. It took me until very recently to come to terms with that even while knowing that (and I'm probably still not fully there tbh) but I know. It's that fucking generational trauma bullshit yk. My mom's side of the family is Fucked Up like her parents were terrible and their (mostly her dad's idk the other ones lol) parents. Yeah I'm not even comfortable talking about them right now that's like a whole other thing lmao. But yeah I know that doesn't even remotely make it okay.

And yeah like the day after shit like that happens we just never acknowledge it again until everyone's losing their shit again because nothing ever changes. Believe it or not being screamed at does not help me figure out how to navigate getting a source of income or how I'm supposed to do anything when we sure as fuck can't afford another vehicle or how I'm ever going to be able to afford my own place to live lmaooo. And I also literally cannot even talk to them about any of this without losing my ability to speak so that really doesn't help either (: I sure as fuck haven't tried calling out the bullshit either bc fuck that there's no fucking way that's going over well and I couldn't even if I wanted to (: (: (:

So I'm just kinda stuck here ig. It's really not too bad (most of the time). I'm not saying that to minimize or invalidate anything either I just want you all to know that it's not like super urgent or anything, I'm not in danger, my mental health isn't great obviously but I'm not at risk of hurting myself or suicide or anything. Promise <3 I'm a tenacious bastard sticking around out of pure spite and a desire to keep creating things if nothing else lmao :)

God this is kind of a trauma dump lmao but that about sums it up ig? I'm also very much open to advice if anyone has any <3

#srry if I come across insensitively with my jokes and stuff btw #I'm not trying to be I just cope by making fun of how absurd the logic is now that I know it is lol #vent #tw abuse #tw suicide mention #tw victim blaming

[thestobingirlie]

To add to to anon about Nancy's common sense or lack thereof in s4. Idk if it's on the Duffers but yet again Nancy just exhibits reckless behavior when investigating Chrissys murder. Like bfr you are writing for a high school paper, you have zero investigating journaling experience (aside from Murray) and you drag in another guy who has even less experience. What high school paper would also publish this article? It's literally about one of their students. The parents would probably sue them. Again I see people saying it's her trauma of needing to solve things fast because she failed Barb but still. She should have known better than to drag in another person, after what happened with Jonathan and them getting fired for all we know the high school could have suspended them if the article went through. It's like she doesn’t think about the bigger picture. I would love if that would be addressed in the show, that Nancy's tunnel vision is a negative trait she needs to unlearn because she caused so much hurt with it. But that would require the writers to acknowledge Nancy's lack of empathy as well. (Ppl claim Nancy talking to Wayne shows how she's such a sweet and caring person, when in reality she manipulated him to get her story and clues. She's very selfish which I love but I would like it even more if it was portrayed as a negative trait with consequences)

Then later after Vecna revealed his plan to Nancy, she shot everyone down (Steve and Eddie) who were like nope this plan sucks. Steve literally is their best fighter (with Hopper and El) if he has reservations the group should listen to him. Nancy's need to be right and not listening to others got us in this mess and I hope they address it and she can learn from it in s5. I hate when people say well Steve is just against everything, he doesn't care look how dismissive he is when in reality him putting a stop to things is him trying to keep the group save. Besides Steve, nobody really has common sense, they are smart nerds but they need people like him who can strategitize. I mean he was captain of the basketball team and swim team, he's a leader with good ideas.

Nancy also getting a gun instead of a flamethrower shows she doesn't have common sense. When did her guns help anyone? In s3 in the cabin it was Lucas and Jonathan who got El out from the Mindflayers grip and she couldn't disable the car. It's established since s2 the Mindflayer/Vecna hates heat, guns don't do anything only buy you some time. And I hate that Nancy's moment of shooting Vecna was framed as the most iconic and important moment in vol2, when it was Steve and Robin who lit him up and did the most damage. Without that they would have been dead. Nancy saw him covered in vines primary to that moment, she should know vines especially don't care about bullets, if Vecna has them as his body armor why tf would she use the gun.

yeah, it is funny that she investigates a murder as if she’ll be able publish it in the school paper, and she lies to wayne about who she is, saying she works for a ‘small paper’. girl, you’re in journalism club.

i definitely think she feels like she has to solve it because of barb, though honestly i don’t really understand why she drags fred along. like, she doesn’t know chrissy’s death has anything to do with the upside down, and she seems to bin fred off pretty quickly to talk to wayne. and i would’ve thought that after last season she would’ve decided she was better off investigating alone. she doesn’t even seem to like fred much, why bring him along?

i definitely think that would’ve been a better story line, that nancy decides to work alone, and realises that you just can’t do this kind of stuff alone, and that she does need people. because nancy’s development relies on her making friends, so why cut her further away from others when she could have a realisation that she needs steve and the kids. instead the duffers just killed off another teen in close proximity to her to make her feel guilty.

yeah, nancy totally gets tunnel vision and is selfish, which is a super interesting character trait, if it were acknowledged!

the way steve literally said it was a shit plan, and then they ended up losing. but will that be acknowledged? no.

but yeah, steve was a team captain, he should be good at delegating and deciding the risk of things, and i don’t think it makes sense that nancy should be in charge of a group. in the same way that i wouldn’t put murray in charge of a group. nancy is smart, but like you said earlier, she gets tunnel vision, she struggles to recognise a situation outside of her own opinions. she’s not the most empathetic, and i think she often cares more about being right than other people feelings, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not a great personality trait for a leader.

i’m so tired of the gun thing. it never works! it’s used to try and make nancy look badass and then she never even kills anything! everyone else has to do the killing while she shoots her useless guns. lucas literally chopped the mind flayer with a fucking axe, but people only ever care about nancy with a shotgun in her arms. give her a fucking flamethrower, that’d be awesome.

#nancy wheeler critical #steve harrington #stranger things #asks #anon

[softpine]

i mean, elaine was also there when that women committed suicide. and obviously jada is affected the most by her mother’s death (and not preventing that other women’s death), but they all saw her mom die in a car crash at a very young age iirc. now, i know this is a story where we have characters who see dead ppl all the time, but like damn.

i get what anon meant kinda, so don’t wanna claim they said that in bad faith. nor do a wanna pit the gangs traumas against each other. but also idk the phrasing “she doesn’t have anything bad going on” is weird/lacks depth to me; yes elaine is the most immature and she’s been through less, but also she’s still impacted like everyone else from the shit she’s been through. if anything i’d argue she’s partly like that not from innocence but because of trauma.

like part of her and stevie’s friendship is built on the trauma that they probably feel like no one else will understand besides the 4 of them. so while i don’t agree with her, i understand why she said stevie is her problem.

and i’m saying this a someone whose least favorite character in the gang is probably elaine, and who agreed with austin through 90% of that argument until the end. also, i repeat, i’m not trying to bicker with anon as a fellow frozen pines enjoyer 🤝 i hope i didn’t misread yours or anon’s points.

tldr; idrc that that anon doesn’t like elaine, but yeah their reasoning could’ve been way better (also u don’t have to post this if u rather move on from the convo)

okay yeah i have to answer this because i 100% agree. me when i have no trauma 🤪

originally i had written a paragraph about how the bar for being considered "traumatized" in frozen pines is extremely high by comparison, so even though she isn't being re-traumatized every day, she's still been through hardships. if we plopped her in an ordinary teen story, elaine might actually be the one who has seen the most shit. but i erased it because.. idk. it feels icky to say that there's a certain amount of trauma a person must experience before they're allowed to act a certain way / be forgiven for the way they act. but let's talk about it, because you're exactly right that part of the way elaine acts is a trauma response.

there was a huge time skip after aileen died, so we don't know exactly how elaine dealt with the aftermath, but we do know this:

elaine's only goal was to cheer jada up, so she didn't get into her own feelings about aileen's death, she just wanted jada to know that she's not the only one haunted by the memory. their friend group is bonded by this memory that no one else understands – hell, even the girls don't understand what happened that day. only asa knows the truth. so they're bonded in uncertainty too.

when austin fails to show up to a date on time, elaine thinks: "What if he got in an accident? Did he forget his seatbelt again? Oh, God, I told him! He’s dying in a ditch somewhere and I’m sitting here all annoyed at him!" and when she visits austin's house for the first time, she realizes he lives right next to the train tracks where aileen died, and thinks, "I wish he didn’t live so close to the train…" (btw he lives VERY close to the train, so elaine has to hear it outside his window every time she spends the night)

it's been years, but aileen's death is still at the forefront of elaine's mind. it also shows that she turns that trauma into worry for other people. we've never seen her worry about her own safety in this way, even after she starts driving.

after she witnesses the woman die from jumping off the bridge, austin gives her a bunch of advice for how to survive a big fall, which comforts her a lot, but she's horrified to learn that austin has also jumped off that bridge for fun. it's one of the only times we've seen her be truly pissed off, and it's because the fear of losing austin in that way terrifies her. she can't believe he's being so casual about it (and cocky, honestly. he says: "It was sick. I didn't break anything. [...] You could do it too if you practiced.") again, elaine doesn't find it distressing to imagine herself in a dangerous situation, but as soon as she imagines someone she cares about doing it, she panics.

no doubt about it, elaine lacks awareness when talking about gruesome deaths with other people. while stevie makes jokes about her trauma, jada avoids the subject like the plague, asa channels his trauma into helping ghosts... elaine overshares and downplays death. she's interested in true crime because she's already seen the horrors of death and now she just wants to understand the why and how of it (she even says: "Death isn't so scary when you understand the science behind it.") she doesn't believe in religion, she's not spiritual, and she doesn't believe in ghosts. all she can do is cling onto the physical effects of dying and everything that she can learn from it. the way she's able to cope with the things she's seen is by treating it like something that happened to someone else, far away from her. can this be insensitive? yes, absolutely. but this is something she can definitely learn from and change. again, she's only 17... she's gonna have some wacky views about mortality.

so that's what we know so far about elaine's trauma and how it changes her behavior. but without spoiling anything.... in a short time, you're about to see the effects of her trauma in a big way, so it's good to put this out as a refresher!

#ily anon this was very well said #sorry to always be analyzing my own story lmaooo it's just because i can think of all these scenes off the top of my head #because my memory may be bad in literally every other scenario but when it comes to my story it's downright photographic #asks #anonymous #nonsims #brandi answers #death tw #suicide tw