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#tw victim blaming
traumasurvivors · 2 months
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You are not a bad person if you chose not to report. I am so tired of hearing people say, “if you don’t report, it’s on you if they do it to someone else.”
No, it is absolutely not.
It is on the person doing it.
You are valid, and what you decide to do is up to you. Whether that is reporting now, later on, or never at all.
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akindplace · 2 years
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The abuse you went through was not something you deserved, it wasn't punishment, it wasn't karma, it wasn't fate, it wasn't meant to be, you didn't manifest it, you didn't invite it. It was abuse. Even if people say you placed yourself in that situation, you still didn't deserve it, it was still wrong for others to abuse you and neglect you. It wasn't your fault. It was your abusers' fault.
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a-whumped-tea · 28 days
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"Look at this. Look at what you've done. You caused all of this by being your fucking hurtable self. I was normal before I met you, but you fucking infected me with these thoughts and impulses.
You did this to me. This is your fault. You're not the victim here, I am. You've ruined me, not the other way around.
You messed up my mind to the point of doing this, and honestly? I think you deserve this for manipulating me like that."
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bugflies00 · 2 months
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christ i can't believe we even still need to make posts like this but if you're genuinely saying shit about how the ABUSE shubble described isn't even that bad i need you to hard block me right now. saying that neurodivergent people bite is just so not the fucking point. yes of course some people bite each other as a sign of affection. biting in itself was never the fucking problem. but it is abusive to intentionally cause someone pain when they've communicated repeatedly they want you to stop. to make up a safeword to use against them. that is abusive full stop in itself, and it wasn't even the only thing shubble described. i don't want to see anymore posts trying to discredit that when shubble has already been through so much.
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oh, and did i mention attempted murder?
as you can tell, i'm gonna be using this meme format a lot
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suncaptor · 6 months
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like I cannot emphasise enough that a major point of repo man is that what makes coping with his hell trauma impossible for Sam to handle isn't the intensity of what happened or the hallucinations or the time but rather the idea that he is not actually a victim and that he wanted it.
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I mean this so genuinely. Regardless of how you feel about Sam, arguing that he wasn't a victim of demon blood is a willful misinterpretation of the text. From six month old Sam being forced to drink demon blood in the crib to Ruby swooping in to groom Sam when he's suicidal and get him hooked on an addictive substance to being locked in a room and forced to endure torturous detox. Recognizing that Sam is a victim deprived of autonomy =/= removing all culpability from the decisions he made.
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whump-queen · 1 year
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whumper using victim blaming dialogue as a humiliation tactic—
“well I wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t make it so fucking easy.”
“if you weren’t so pretty when you begged and cried.”
“if you didn’t take abuse so well.”
“I just hit you and you whine like that— I mean, what am I supposed to think?”
“you know you deserve this.”
“go on, tell me you deserve it.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
and who knows— eventually, whumpee might start to believe they’re right
.
[shoutout to @unorganisedalienrubbish for coming up with like half of these]
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fuwushiguro · 10 months
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I Can Be The Eye Of The Storm
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chapter six | masterlist | chapter eight
Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader | Megumi Fushiguro x f!Reader
Genre: Smut & Angst with horror/thriller elements Notes: thank u everyone who sent love about this series it’s been fun to get back into it! hope this chapter was worth the wait hehe 💕 Warnings: 18+, rape/noncon, major character death, false imprisonment, violence, attempted murder, blood mention, misogyny. Words: 4.4k
Synopsis: You meet a handsome older man while partying in Paris with your best friend. Going home with a man you've just met isn't usually your style, but looking at him is more than enough to dispel any doubts. But maybe you should have listened to your intuition.
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“Toji please!” you cry, pounding against the door. “PLEASE!”
You keep hammering at the wood, you assume it will break if you carry on. But in truth you know you’re the one who’s going to break. You’re exhausted, you’re hurt, you haven’t fully processed everything that’s happened. And now the man who said he loves you is keeping you locked up in a room in the same building as your attacker.
And still, you can’t stop.
No matter how much your arms ache. Despite your voice becoming hoarse and your legs wanting to give out from under you.
You don’t stop.
“She needs a muzzle.” Gojo smirks, flipping through a deck of cards as he sits comfortably on a couch in the living room. The spot you’d been sitting in eating hashbrowns hours earlier without a care in the world.
Toji gawps at him. A little dumbfounded by his sheer audacity.
“What’s wrong, big man?” he asks as he starts to organise the cards. “Didn’t realise she was such a handful? I knew she was trouble from the second I saw her.”
And now, Toji has had enough. He hadn’t been able to sit down, instead pacing around as he heard your pleas and cries of his name. This is so fucked, but he couldn’t think of another way. But hearing what Satoru has to say is making his blood boil, and he’s no better than a caveman despite wanting to be.
“Shut the fuck up!” he lashes out, he approaches Gojo so quickly he’s barely registered their close proximity. He just looks up, and Toji is towering before him. And another second later, the cards are flying out of his hands as Toji begins to throw punches. “You raped my fucking girlfriend and you’re wondering why she’s screaming. Are you fucking kidding me?!” he yells.
“That’s enough.” Nanami breaks them up.
“Easy…” Gojo replies, his face bloody with a busted lip as he tries to regain his composure. “You sound like a pathetic old man, girlfriend? Please, you’re twice her age. It’s embarrassing.”
“I love her. I let you hurt her.” he rakes his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t invite you here for this.”
“So… why did you invite us?” Gojo stands up now, levelling his stare with Toji’s. “You said she’s slutty, and you’re willing to share. I took advantage of what you said and fucked her.”
“Not like this.” Toji responds immediately. “You did take fucking advantage. And you’re not even sorry. You’re not even fucking sorry about what you’ve done to that poor girl.” he argues. He begins to pant out of frustration. Nanami can do nothing but watch the two men argue. Gojo runs his tongue along his top row of teeth before deciding to speak again.
“Either way, we can’t leave her locked in there forever.” Gojo reminds him.
“I should let her call the police. I cannot fucking believe you’ve done this you stupid fuck.” Toji carries on with his barrage of insults. His gaze keeps flitting between the men he’s with and the stairs to the bedroom you’re locked in. “I don’t think a little bit of coke is going to matter to the police when there are bigger things to focus on.”
“You’re not calling the police.” Nanami speaks.
“Right, you’re not going to call them. Because you know it’ll blow all of our shit up and it’ll fuck yours up the most. So shut the fuck up, sit down and shuffle the cards. We can think about what to do in the morning.” Gojo orders him.
“I’m not fuckin’ playing.” Toji tells him. He retreats to the kitchen and grabs himself a beer, cracking off the top with his teeth. He’s only just realised his knuckles are bleeding and his hands are shaking. He puts down his beer and holds his head in his hands, his head pounding with the gravity of the situation.
Nanami picks up the cards that Gojo had dropped and begins to shuffle again. He hands them all out between to two of them, thinking snap is probably the easiest and low effort game to play.
“How can you sit there and play cards knowing what you’ve done?” Toji asks, emerald eyes vibrating as he stares over to Gojo.
“Just having fun, Toji.” he smirks again, “Just a little fun.”
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A few hours pass and you know Toji isn’t coming. He’s hiding from you, he’s ashamed. Not that you know that, though. To you, he’s having fun with his friends and laughing at your expense.
You gave up kicking and punching the door a while ago. Now, you’re crumpled in a heap on the bedroom floor. Is this all you can do? Give up and accept this is it for you? That Toji might keep you locked up in this place until you agree to their terms? They can’t… they can’t make you.
And then a harrowing thought crosses your mind.
No one knows you’re here.
One of them alone could easily shut you up for good.
And there are three of them.
“To—” you stop yourself before his name becomes louder than a whisper. He doesn’t care about you. He isn’t going to help you. It’s all about self-preservation, for him. Toji is too scared of facing prison to help you out of this mess.
It’s got to be you.
You pull yourself to your feet using the bed frame, your legs are still shaky, but you know you’ll have to find your nerve soon. There’s no one coming to save you, nobody is going to undo the damage that has been done. If those three are all about self-preservation, you have to be to.
But nothing is catching your eye. There isn’t a single thing you can use to your advantage. You think about battering the door down using the armchair in the corner of the room, but you can’t imagine you have enough strength to keep repeatedly hammering away at it.
You instinctively reach for your phone, forgetting Toji had taken it from you.
“Fuck.” you mutter and begin to pace around the room. All you can think about is Nobara. What would she do in this situation? But that question immediately vanishes when you remember she wouldn’t be stupid enough to get herself into this mess. She didn’t trust Toji from the get-go and you shouldn’t have either. Tears begin to well in your eyes and spill over as you realise your momentary injection of heroism has been snuffed out. You’re stuck here like the useless idiot you are.
Your breath hitches as you look at the windows in the room. The same windows Gojo attacked you against. Your heart race quickens as you replay it in your mind. You can’t help but feel sick. It’s as though you can physically feel the weight of a bowling ball in your stomach as you relive the incident that occurred hours ago and think about the only thing people will see you as if you manage to escape.
A victim.
You place your hands against the window, and then your forehead, closing your eyes and beginning to sob violently. What had you done to deserve this? You know you’re stupid. You’re gullible and a fool and you’re just so fucking useless. But is that really a crime that deserves such a severe punishment? Is being a failure truly worthy of what Satoru Gojo had done to you?
As your eyes slowly begin to flutter open, you notice the pool illuminating your skin as it had with Gojo in his room earlier. It’s dark outside now, the cyan water even more bold than it was this morning. It looks so inviting…
It looks so… warm.
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“Snap, I win.”
“You’ve gotta be cheating, Kento. You’re killing me.” Gojo laughs.
Toji is still leaning over the breakfast bar as he watches them both play their tedious little game of snap. He’s thinking about going to see you now. Checking on you, seeing where your head is at. He thinks maybe if he grovels, you two might be able to work something out. He’s drunk, he’s coked up, everyone is coked up. But surely there is some arrangement you can come to so that he can make things right without involving the police.
“I’m gonna head up.” Toji announces, shoving his fifth bottle of beer to the edge of the counter. “I need to check on her… try and do some damage contro—”
The three men pause, almost frozen in time as they look at one another to confirm they all heard that. Did they all really hear the sound of glass shattering from upstairs? They can’t move. None of them can bring themselves to snap out of their daze and move. What the hell was that?
And then, the sound of the crashing glass is followed by the familiar sound of water splashing. Toji finally manages to move himself, standing with Nanami and Gojo as they rise to their feet and stare at the bubbling blue water they can see out of the window.
Nobody says a word. They just stare and continue to stare.
Suddenly, you rise. The water is wiped from your eyes, and you see all of their eyes fixed on you. You too, are frozen. All you can do is kick your legs to keep you afloat. You know that your fear of them chasing you will be realised as soon as you make a break for it.
But you can’t stay here.
You swim as fast as you can to the edge of the pool, and your prediction comes true. As soon as you start swimming, they’re running for the front door. They’re scared, they’re panicking, this turn of events hadn’t even been in the equation for them.
Before they can unlock the front door, you’re already out of the pool and sprinting in the wrong direction. You’ve become disorientated but you know that you can’t double back on yourself, you’ll only fall into one of their arms and end up locked in a room without a method of escape. You have one chance to get away, and this is it.
Despite running through the wilderness in your underwear, you’d been smart enough to put on a pair of trainers and a jacket. You’d have covered yourself more, but you thought the water would weigh you down and give them more of a chance to catch you. That’s not a chance you can take.
“Princess!” you hear Toji bellow in the distance. There’s a gap between you for now, but you know it won’t be long before they close the distance. You don’t think hiding is an option, you have to keep running.
You run.
You fucking run until you feel your lungs empty.
You run until your legs are cut to shreds by the brambles and thorns through the trees.
You run… until you can’t.
You’re staring over the edge of a cliff; another step would mean certain death and your stomach plummets at the thought of accidentally falling over. Looking left and right does little good as you know you’ll ultimately be met with the same fate no matter which way you go. The snow begins to nip at your skin. The adrenaline is wearing off and you’re starting to feel hopeless once more.
As you take a deep breath and contemplate your next move, you feel a strong grip on your wrist.
“Caught ya.” Gojo smiles, menacingly. You let out a scream and try to yank your arm from him, but it does no good. Toji and Nanami aren’t around, they must have split up to search for you. It’s just you and Satoru. And your legs begin to give out under you once again. “Squeezing your thighs f’me, hm? That excited to see me again?”
“L-Let go.” you try to sound confident, but your stuttering earns a pitiful laugh. This is the worst-case scenario. You can barely process what he did to you let alone what is about to happen. And Toji, once again, isn’t here to stop him.
“You’re no victim, look at you. Even now you’re running around in your underwear like a slut. Do you love the attention that much? You know anyone could be out here, waiting to fuck you. But that’s exciting to you, right? I get it, being desirable is the greatest feeling in the world. That’s why I couldn’t keep my hands off ya.”
“You raped me.” you say, your voice refusing to falter. “You know what you did, and you have to live with that until the day you die.”
“It doesn’t bother me, sweetheart. I wanted something and I got it, that’s how I am. It’s my right. And you were begging for me to fuck you.”
“No—”
“Yes.” he interjects. “Girls like you are good for one thing, and you know it. You’re just a cunt to be fucked. You’re barely a person. You’re a hole to be filled and make men feel good about themselves. You don’t think Toji loved you, do you? He loved having a pretty young thing wrapped around him and being able to brag about it. You’re nothing.”
“I— I’m…” you don’t know what to say. Partly because you think he might be right. You’ve always known it was ridiculous for Toji to be saying he loved you after barely knowing each other. It was some Disney romance you’d built up in your head to be more than it was. It wasn’t and isn’t love. It’s just lust.
You’re nothing.
You’re nothing.
“At least I’m not a rapist.” you tell him, your eyes focusing on his as you refuse to back down. “I’ve never had to have sex by force. I have loved and been loved. You just hurt people.” he grunts, forcing you closer to the edge of the mountain. It makes you smile, laugh, even. Knowing that you’re getting under his skin.
“You should be careful how you speak to people when you’re in such precarious situations.” he warns you. It’s a threat, and you see the gleam in his eye which tells you he isn’t afraid to follow through.
“I don’t give a fuck.” you smile. “You can’t do anything worse to me than you already have.”
“Wanna bet?”
“If I die, if you murder me, I promise… I’m going to haunt you until the end of time.” you start. “Whether I’m the first, only, or last of the people you’ve hurt like this. I will fucking haunt you until you lose your mind. I’ll always be with you, like your own personal stalker. And I won’t stop until you get what’s coming to you.” you speak with so much conviction, you hear a shallow and panicked grunt settle in his throat. He finds his steel once more, looking at you with disdain before allowing himself to smile.
“Go ahead and try,” he pushes you away from him. “I don’t believe in ghosts.” and with a final kick to your abdomen, a harrowing, involuntary scream tells you both that you’re not long for the world.
The air bites at your skin as you fall. He watches in horror as he realises what he’s done. What he has actually done. He’s killed you. Your eyes lock as you continue to fall. There’s no reading either of your expressions. Though he imagines you’re in shock, he is too, after all. He can’t turn away until he hears a thud, a disgusted gasp leaving him before he turns to look again. The white snow around you has been stained red, and your eyes are staring daggers up at him.
“Shit.” he speaks, pacing around as he tries to contemplate what to do.
For the first time in his life, he thinks he might actually be experiencing regret. His knees buckle, just as yours had after he assaulted you. His eyes fill with tears as he crawls on his hands and knees to peer over the edge and see your lifeless body staring back at him. He covers his mouth with a hand as he tries to keep it together.
You’d spoken with so much conviction and certainty. And now Satoru Gojo is experiencing… remorse? For the first time in his fucking life. Could you have been right about haunting him? Is this your doing?
“Have you found her?” Nanami asks, emerging from behind.
“Her footprints disappeared, she’s smarter than we’ve given her credit for.” Toji announces.
They both look confused as Gojo can’t pull himself away from the edge of the cliff. All they see is a pathetic, snivelling man on all fours. A sight neither of them had ever expected to see before. Toji’s brows furrow, and Nanami’s eyes widen as he realises what’s going on in record time.
“Try to stay calm.” he puts his arm across Toji’s chest, doing what he can to calm the situation before things get out of hand. But Toji is confused, he doesn’t understand why Nanami said something so random. He is calm. But they need to find you before things escalate even further.
It finally hits Toji when Gojo turns to look at them. Cheeks sparkling with tears in the winter moonlight.
“I f-found her like this.” he lies, effortlessly.
“No, no no…” Toji panics and hurries to look over the edge with Gojo. “FUCK!” he bellows as he witnesses the same sight Gojo had been staring at for quite some time. Nanami joins the two of them, standing on the other side of Toji as all three men look down at you with nothing but contempt.
“It’s regrettable, but I doubt anyone will find her out here. It seems we’re in the clear.” Nanami tells them, cool and collected as always.
Toji can’t stop himself from crying, his lip quivering as he stares down at you. He can’t feel the sting of the freezing wind and nothing else is happening between him and the woman he genuinely fell in love with, in a bloody puddle beneath him.
“I didn’t do it…” Gojo sniffles. It’s the only thing that can break Toji out of his trance as he starts to see red other than the blood surrounding your body.
“Is that what you think?” he mutters, his lips in a tight line as he feels more tears spill over and down his cheeks as he carries on staring at you. “You think you didn’t cause this?”
“She must have slipped while she was running.” Gojo lies, again, it comes too easy to him and Toji can see right through his crocodile tears. He kicks him to the ground so he’s flat on his back, and he can’t stop himself from delivering a multitude of brutal, heavy-handed punches directly into his face.
“You think this isn’t your fucking fault?!” he yells as he continues. He warns Nanami to back off when he tries to separate them again. “I should fucking kill you, you think she’d be running for her life out here if not for you? You think she’d be dead if you hadn’t—” he can’t even say it, covering his sorrow with more anger as he beats Gojo to a bloody pulp.
“You made your point.” Nanami interjects, consequences be damned. “The last thing we need is another dead body out here. We need to get back and figure out what we’re going to do about this.” he speaks, managing to tear Toji away from Gojo.
“Fuck sake, fine.” Toji grunts, walking ahead of them both. Nanami helps Gojo to his feet and helps him walk back to the house.
You’re so still. So statuesque as their voices fade from being clear to quiet mumbles. And then finally to nothing. But you don’t move, you just continue to lie still, soon to be a memory to all who knew you.
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The atmosphere in the cabin is damn near disgusting. Nobody has spoken a word in hours, and the black sky is starting to fade. Toji can’t tear his gaze from the crackling fire while Gojo continuously dabs tissue on his gushing wounds and bleeding nose.
“I fucking loved her.” Toji grimaces, not sure if he’s talking to himself or letting Gojo know what he’s taken from him. “I don’t really give a shit what you thought of her or us… I know how I feel, and I loved her.” he finishes, wiping a lone tear from his eye as he tries to wrap his head around the fact that he brought you here and you’ve been murdered for it.
“Please try not to kill each other.” Nanami orders the two of them as he takes his cup of coffee and a cigarette outside. The two men watch him go before their eyes return to the aggressive flames in the fireplace.
“Sure you did.”
“Don’t push me, Satoru, or I’m gonna turn your face inside out.” he warns him.
“Whatever. It’s done now, she’s gone. What’s happened, has happened. We need to think about what we do next.” he tries to reason with him. “We’re going to have to pretend everything is fine and normal. We’re going to have to make sure nobody knows this ever happened.”
“I’ve got her phone so I can cover things for a while… and her car keys are—” he thinks for a moment as he tries to recall the last place he saw them. He checks inside the bowl at the entrance only to discover they’re not there. “They must be in our room.” he runs upstairs to check. The reality of how much covering up they’re going to have to do hits him as he sees your luggage littered around the room. But he tries to focus on searching for the keys. “Shit.” he speaks quietly as it dawns on him that you’ve taken them. He leaves the room, spotting Gojo at the bottom of the stairs.
“Well?”
“She must have taken them.” he alerts him. “She must have been planning on going for the car but ran the wrong way.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, shit. We’ve got to burn her stuff and figure out a way to dump the fucking car.” Toji speaks, visibly getting agitated again. “You’ve fucked us.” he yells at Gojo.
“This is not my fault! It was you who—”
Again.
Another splash in the pool.
You watch on in horror as Nanami’s lifeless body falls into the pool. That beautiful aqua colour becoming stained with red. But you don’t have time to watch this. You don’t have time to stand around and watch a dead man drown. You drop the heavy log you found on your way back to the cabin, the edge stained with Nanami’s blood. You knew it would kill him. You knew you’d become a murderer the second you picked it up no matter who you struck with it. He hadn’t bothered to save you when he could have. He decided to be ignorant, and he had no qualms in leaving you for dead back there.
Why would you grant him anything but the same?
You flee before you can be spotted, getting your car keys from your pocket, and hurrying inside. Once Gojo and Toji see Nanami’s body gushing blood in the pool, they know what’s happening. As they rush outside, they both spot you behind the wheel of your car, headlights beaming as you prepare to pull away. Toji rushes over to slam on the hood, begging you to get out so you can talk. You shake your head, barely able to look at him. Your eyes are more focused on Satoru Gojo.
He’s horrified.
You’d think he’d just seen an honest to God ghost before his very eyes.
And you will fucking haunt him.
You flip them both off before reversing as fast as you can and driving away.
Toji drops to his knees, he thinks he might be having a panic attack. He has emotional whiplash from everything that’s just unfolded. He was convinced you were dead, everybody was. And now… Nanami is gone.
“This isn’t over. She’s not going to let this go.” Toji practically heaves as he explains through panicked breaths.
“She’s really going to haunt me.”
“Yeah, we need to count our fucking days.” Toji continues. “You’ve fucked us.”
“I’m sorry.” Gojo answers.
“What good is sorry now, Gojo? We’re dead men walking.”
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You drove, you don’t know how long for. So long that you thought you might crash if you had to keep your eyes open any longer. For some reason, you thought you’d been driving home. To the safety of your father and brothers. The security of your home and the money your father would ultimately use to guarantee justice for what you’ve been through and shield you from you suffering the consequences of what you did to Nanami.
But you’re not home. You’re parking at a house that you recognise, though. Your legs are moving on auto pilot as you get out of the car, not even bothering to close the door behind you as you approach the front door.
You don’t even know what time it is, so you can’t find it in you to care as you press the doorbell and begin to pound on the door repeatedly. There’s not a word you can say, not a single thing to speak of as you continue what you’re doing and wait for somebody to answer.
“I’m coming! Do you know what time it is?” you hear from inside as the stairs creak beneath their feet. “What is it?” she asks as the door opens.
“Nobara…” you manage to speak, your voice absolutely shredded to pieces. “Do you have a cigarette?” you ask before collapsing into her arms.
“Oh my God… Oh fuck, hey, hey hey. Don’t die on me!” she begins to cry as she tries to lower you carefully to the ground and hold you in her arms. “Maki! MAKI! CALL AN AMBULANCE!” she screams before turning to look at you again. Your eyes begin to flutter, and you can’t keep them open anymore.
“I love you…” you whisper, before fully closing them.
“Please don’t die!” she sobs, cradling your body close to hers. “I love you too, dummy. Hear me? I love you so much… so please don’t die.”
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© 2023 fuwushiguro
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justbreadmeman · 3 months
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(this little story involves victim blaming and teenagers)
You just turned 18 and now you’re naked, nipples uncomfortably pressed into the wall while your r@pist keeps using your silly little cunt. You’re crying because this is the only thing you ever wanted to give you purpose.
So afterwards he promises to be back, you’re ashamed of how many times you came on your r@pist’s cock. And your legs feel weak when he lets you go.
Weeks pass and your period is late, so you take a test. Two lines. You’ve conceived a baby due to your r@pist. You here your mother’s words against ever becoming a teen parent, but you also don’t know if you want to get rid of it.
And sure enough, your r@pist returns and you have to tell him you’re pregnant before he manhandles you. He seems indifferent as he pushes you to know knees and grabs your head to use your throat. Your face is covered in throat grool from gagging until the anxiety makes you puke. But you had been fasting so all that comes up is water.
Afterwords you start to starve yourself out of shame and fear of your body carrying your r@pist’s baby. Another month passes and your period still hasn’t come you notice, so you take another test. Still pregnant.
You panic and call your mother, and she calls you a slut and tells you it is all your fault. She’s no help and has no support for you or sympathy.
And your r@pist returns and uses you again. And again. And Again. You’re leaking cum from every hole after he is dine with you this time.
So then that is how it is, you’re on your own as your r@pist sees you about once a month until his baby has your belly so swollen you can’t get around without waddling. He even starts playing with the milk that leaks from your tits.
Your r@pist did this all to your body and doesn’t hold any regrets. You give birth and you give the child up for adoption. You refuse to say how the child was conceived or tell them about the father.
And once you’ve healed and your r@pist sees you healthily moving about, you live in fear of it happening all over again.
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lesinquietes · 4 months
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Erwin Smith is of the opinion that no one person ought to receive special treatment because everyone is equal — except when it comes to you. He understands his hypocrisy when he warns you about military plans so you can make it out in time, in case anything goes south, or when he keeps you in a location in the innermost part of the wall, furthest away from all possible entry points. No one receives special treatment but you, and the reason is rooted in your vitality to his crumbling sanity.
Erwin knows he needs you to function. If you died, it would be worse than when he lost his father. There would be nothing left for him. He already lost his arm in battle, rendering him partially useless. The next expedition would be his last. He would misstep and be killed, most likely taking an entire battalion of good people with him. The fault would rest on your shoulders.
So, if you care about the state of humanity within these walls, you’ll stay by his side for the rest of your life.
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akindplace · 8 months
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Abusive people often know what to say/do to make you feel at your worst. The hurt they inflict is their responsibility, always, and it's not a matter of "people can only hurt you if you allow it". In an abusive situation, you don't have control over the hurt they are inflicting. It's not "just words", it's not casual like someone making a critical comment. It's abuse. It's traumatizing. And abusers often taken control out of people and then gaslight them to making them believe it's their fault. The guilt you feel about yourself or the victim-blaming actions of others is very damaging, but the blame is never the survivor's, the abuser is always, always, the one at fault, and there is never any way around that fact, though people may say otherwise and you might feel guilt. Please don't blame yourself. Please don't dismiss your feelings.
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Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 28)
Tw: Non con touching and kissing, reader blaming themselves for said non con touching and kissing, religion mentions
Gimme anon asks and comments n reblogs
vote below i will only consider first 20 voters
Part 28.5
Evangeline and Montgomery seem disappointed when you said you're not interested in either clubs.
They wanted to say something, but you told them you're heading to class. You retrieved all your items and rushed to leave.
"Wait a minute, darlin'. You forgot somethin'." Said Montgomery.
You fell for his bait and turned around.
Your blood pressure spiked when he pressed his dry lips against yours. Lucky for him, he pulled away before you could deliver a sucker punch to his jaw- you tried, but you missed.
So you spit in disgust, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve.
"Here." He grabbed your wrist and shoved two $20 bills again. You mentally calculated the total amount of money he gave you so far. it's around $125 at this point "This time, I'll call ya'."
He grinned, patting your head like a dog before pressing another kiss on the forehead. You pushed him away this time, but he was unfazed.
"Wow, Monty! You're a true Christian, molesting a student that's probably three decades your junior, I know a lot of pastors do that!" Evangeline was loud enough to make heads turn in the library. Murmurs started resonating throughout the building about what they just heard.
"You fuckin' bitch-" He whisper-yelled, but was cut off by Evangeline.
"Fuck off, old man. Take a bath while you're at it." The dissonance is jarring, she was smiling so politely and kindly, but her tone and words described her otherwise.
Montgomery stormed away, not sparing you or her any more glances.
You turned to the Blonde. She was giggling to herself like she just witnessed the world's funniest joke.
__
In the end though, you told Evangeline that you're going to skip your lecture and go home.
"Well, can I hang out with you at home?"
You scratched the back of your head and grimaced.
You told her no and muttered a short apology.
"Aw." She pouted. "That's okay."
You nervously turned around and walked to the car park. However, she wrapped her arms around yours and followed you.
You asked her what was she doing.
"Oh, since I have nothing to do here, might as well get on the same ride. Daddy will send me home after dropping you off."
You asked if she has to be this close to you. Her chest is pressing up against your side as she hugs your arm. It's soft and too warm for your liking.
"We're friends! Nothing more, nothing less. This is totally normal." She leaned her head against your shoulder.
You told her to please not touch you. She frowned.
"You're not letting a man dictate your life, are you? I think Sir Yves is too controlling, besides, I'm not doing anything bad, I'm just walking with you to the parking lot!" She's not letting you go, maintaining her iron grip on your arm despite you obviously trying to wrench it away. She is deceptively strong.
So you became silent and complied. Wanting nothing more than to go home, lock yourself in your air-conditioned room and cry to Yves. Perhaps even spend all your allowance just to fly to Yves. You can't take it anymore, everything is so scary, weird and confusing.
Yves would know what to do.
You were trapped in your own mind as you made your way to Mr. Jones's car with Evangeline clinging onto you.
She finally released you as you opened the door. Evangeline went to the other side.
"Hello Mx. (Name) and... Evangeline." Mr. Jones sounded down. He kept giving you and her anxious glances, mostly disappointed ones towards his daughter.
But Evangeline's sunshiny demeanour never faltered. She greeted her father as she buckled her belt.
He drove off without a word.
There was a blanket of tense silence draping over the three of you. When the car came to a stop at a traffic light, Mr. Jones was the first one to break the quietness.
"Sir Yves called me earlier. He was describing your behavior, Evangeline." He sounded careful, not wanting to offend his beloved daughter or his important client.
She sighed. "I know, daddy. It was wrong of me to do that. It won't happen again."
"He sounded very unhappy, Evangeline. I... I'm sorry for talking about this in front of you, Mx (name). I just... I'm..." He trailed off, struggling to find the words that he wanted to say.
You told him that it is okay. You don't mind, he can continue on.
"Thank you, Mx. (Name). Please don't be pressured to stay silent, tell us if you're uncomfortable and we will stop." You nodded. Suddenly, Evangeline's cheery attitude darkened.
"Daddy, you're not being professional. (Name) is still your client, you should not mix personal matters with your job."
You knitted your eyebrows in concern. What is going on? And what a hypocrite! Evangeline literally hopped on the same car as you, if anything, she's the one who isn't professional.
"I know, sweetie but... this is concerning Mx. (name) and your actions and... what's going on?" He asked, he is worried that his daughter is going through something that's causing all these issues.
"What do you mean, daddy?" She was feigning ignorance.
He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when his eyes landed on your figure. Best to settle this in private.
"I'll talk to you later. I'm so sorry you had to hear that, Mx. (Name). I just want to find out what's happening in my daughter's life. You understand, right?"
You said yes and told him you have no problems with this. To that, he breathed out a relieved sigh.
"Thank you, Mx. (Name)."
Neither of you shared any words as he drives on. You saw Evangeline boringly looked out of the window as she props her cheek against her fist.
She doesn't seem mentally present here, but her other hand is sensually stroking your thigh up and down.
You alternate between her and her hand. Holding onto that glimmer of hope she will realize what's she doing is fucking crazy and snap out of it.
It seems like she isn't stopping anytime soon and neither is she paying attention to what she's doing.
You looked at Mr. Jones. He's doing his job, not noticing what's happening in the back seat. He has a troubled expression on his face as he handles the steering wheel.
Only when her hand got too close to your crotch, only did you pretend to drop your phone. You pushed her hand away as you bent down to pick your device up.
But she didn't care to have her eyes on you. Opting to stare out into the distance instead.
You let out a loud shriek when she slid her hand down the gap between your skin and the waistband of your pants.
"Mx. (Name)!? Are you okay!?" The sudden alarm almost caused Mr. Jones to swerve his car.
You were about to point at Evangeline and accuse her of touching you, but...
Poor Mr. Jones. He's already having a rough day, you can see it in his eyes that he's about to cry if anything else goes wrong today. He's been nothing but nice to you, it would definitely crush him to know his daughter is a predator.
You looked up at Evangeline. She wasn't smiling nor frowning, you don't know what she's feeling at the moment.
So you... just said nothing. You composed yourself and made a barrier between you and her, using your increasingly bulky bag. Without Yves, you're just stuffing everything inside that sad sack.
Eventually, the energy in the car was lowered. Everyone calmed down and the ride was completed without any further hitches.
Unbeknownst to you, Evangeline was staring at you through the window's reflection this whole time.
__
You cocooned yourself in your blankets and stayed far away from your phone. It's buzzing like crazy, it could either come from Yves, Montgomery or Evangeline.
You didn't want to face any of them. The latter two for obvious reasons. Yves, because you don't know how to explain to him what has happened.
You haven't told him about Montgomery's daily visit and touches. You don't know how he will react to them especially when you're the one accepting his food, money and keychain. You could have said no to both of them, but you let them stay regardless.
You were spineless enough to let them drag you around and You're afraid as to how Yves will react to your uselessness.
Feeling betrayed and saddened, you thought Evangeline would have protected you. But she was flip flopping between Yves's side and Montgomery's. Now, you have to protect yourself from her.
Maybe Yves is going to be upset at you instead, for physically and emotionally cheating on him. For not doing enough to stop it. For not telling him earlier. Making you complicit in their predatory behaviors.
The buzzing from your phone wouldn't stop, so you covered your head with a pillow. Sobbing into it and yearning for comfort. Doubtful that you could get it from Yves anymore.
You were about to drift off to sleep in a puddle of your own tears until suddenly...
"(Name)! Wake the fuck up, you lazy ass!" Your housemate banged their fist on your door.
Hopping out of bed, you screamed that you're coming. Great, now what? Is she going to fight you for shedding hair around the house? You frowned, wiping away the tears and sniffling.
You opened the door just to suddenly have a phone aggressively shoved into your face. You were about to take a swing at her until a very, very familiar voice rang out.
"(name), dear?"
You gasped, instinctively reaching out to try and hang up. But your housemate was too tall, too fast.
"Hey, your boyfriend's been calling you and you weren't picking up. Go talk to him and tell him you're not dead!" She scolded you.
Running out of energy, you gave up and she slowly lowered her phone to your hands.
"I'll be back in like, twenty minutes. Switch to your own phone if you guys aren't done by then. Don't break it!" You nodded and slammed the door shut behind you.
You took a deep breath and called out for him.
"You were crying."
Your heart skipped a beat when he said that. You were rendered speechless as you tried to keep your sniffling at bay.
"(name)." He whispered.
You gave him no response.
"Jones told me what happened." You held onto a breath as your eyes shot open.
"It was not your fault." Yves softly assured you.
This made you cry out noisily, out of relief, fear and shame. You sobbed and hiccupped, wiping your eyes with your palm.
You're starting to feel anger rising up. He saw it? Why didn't he stop Evangeline from doing what she did? Or at least acknowledge it and tell her off? You understand that you would excuse your own flesh and blood for a lot of things, but not this.
You told him you were sorry through shaky breaths and weeps, apologizing for not telling about Montgomery, about choosing to eat his food because you forgot to bring Yves's premade meals, about enabling his behavior even though you shouldn't.
You told him everything that has happened during his absence. Not a single detail left out, you begged for his forgiveness and promised that you wouldn't keep anything from him again. You just wanted help to get out of this situation.
"(name). I am not blaming you for what Montgomery or Jones's daughter did to you." His calmness is helping you slow your heart rate.
"None of it was of any fault of yours." He repeated.
"They are fully responsible for how they act." He continued. "It sickens me that they dare to accuse you of influencing them, when you have done nothing except to protect yourself."
You sniffled and wept harder. You didn't understand, you told him that you didn't run or fight them. You must be partially at fault, at the very least. You were compliant and you should have been firm with your rejections.
"I know you, (name). You tend to freeze and fawn in stressful situations. You were merely protecting yourself, and you shouldn't think otherwise." You could only hear the compassion, sympathy and love in his voice. There wasn't a trace of mockery or disdain. That realization that Yves is truly not criticizing you, gave you an intense, never-felt-before surge of consolation throughout your body.
While allowing you more time to let everything out of your system, Yves deactivated the hidden cameras and microphones he installed in Mr. Jones's car. You will not be using his services anymore.
You berated yourself for being so weak. You wished you had a fight or flight system instead of... freeze or fawn. Yves should be enjoying his time overseas, relaxing before his conference, but he's stuck fixing your problems.
He is better off not having you as his partner. That way, he would be unburdened by your inability to survive without him. You think Yves is going to find someone else who knows how to stand up for themselves, someone respectable--
"(Name). That's enough." You were instantly snapped out of your self-deprecating spiral by his stern voice.
"Thoughts that do not serve you have no place in your mind. I vowed to always be there for you. I am not a man who would go back on his words. I mean everything I say." Yves's strictness was evident in both his tone and uttered syllables.
"Don't you dare think for a moment that I would ever leave you." Yves's words are akin to a subdued thunder, dangerously threatening and gravelly. This marks the first time witnessing a taste of Yves's fury, it rattled you to the bones and you were grateful that your eyes were spared from seeing his unimaginable expression.
In the end, your brain felt... empty. You were whimpering, but it's almost like you're afraid to commit a thoughtcrime against Yves. You become extremely cautious of what goes through your head.
The sounds of him scribbling something on a notepad filled the silence. You coughed a bit from your mucus and tears as typing could be heard in the background.
You're now sitting on the floor, cross legged. Fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you're content having him on the line as company.
You have no other words to say and neither did he. You're okay with that, much to your surprise.
You heard him softly take a breath,
"(name)." His intonation is now back to being gentle and nurturing. You acknowledged that you were listening.
"I want your absolute honesty." You gulped, fearing what he's going to say next.
"Do you want me to return home earlier?" Direct and straight to the point. You started stammering, that is such a loaded request. You can't possibly tell him to cut his trip short! Yves probably hasn't even stepped foot into the conference hall yet--
"(Name)." The hardness of his voice suggests that you be quiet and listen to what he has to tell you next.
"A yes, or a no."
Yves gave you some time to think after his curt addition.
You licked your lips and made your decision.
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What about a hero whumpee currently captured by the villain whumper, and villain gives them a scar for each person killed by villain or their henchmen {or just non-natural cod} while hero’s there.
Of course, it’s not actually their fault but nevertheless; the hero blames themself for each death and it’s only reinforced by the villain cooing “you deserve it.” right in their ear as they cut each and every scar
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pt. 2 to answer @altofmoth 's question (click here to see pt. 1!)
5. mind control
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mind control is a classic villain's move but when that villain is supposed to be sympathetic and who later gets into a relationship with the same person they tried to control... yikes.
catra is visibly happy about adora going through excruciating pain because of the virus, she shows no concern or remorse over hurting her former best friend/love interest this way. and she is completely willing to take away adora's freewill if it means defeating the rebellion.
6. attempted murder
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yeah, i don't think i have to explain this. again, notice that adora has attempted to murder catra very few times. adora's main objective was just to defeat catra (or get her to join the rebellion) while catra's objective was to always hurt adora in any way possible.
7. catra brags about adora being easy to manipulate
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these are just three instances but it's not very romantic to talk about how easily you can manipulate your s/o and take advantage of their weaknesses.
8. weird incestuous undertones
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adora and catra were both raised by shadow weaver and has an obvious scapegoat - golden child dynamic. catra especially seeks out shadow weaver's love and validation, and she's jealous of adora because shadow weaver favours adora more.
this is a very common trope between fictional siblings like zuko and azula, cassandra and rapunzel, soren and claudia, etc. and of course, it's a very common dynamic between siblings in real life too, when they are raised by an abusive parent. all of this makes the idea of a romantic relationship between catra and adora pretty icky.
9. catra's redemption or lack thereof doesn't help with this whole situation
catra's redemption is all lipservice. she does actually change at all. let's see,
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she still holds adora responsible for things that she didn't do, and acts like adora is a hindrance.
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she still uses physical violence on adora for absolutely no reason.
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she abandons adora when she's about to die because adora doesn't return catra's romantic feelings (and she later blames adora for always leaving people behind).
not to mention, catra's confession is so guilt trippy. the fact that she apparently loved adora all this time, when she was abusing, manipulating, gaslighting, trying to control and trying to kill adora, is the biggest red flag.
it's not like catra only started liking adora in s5. this confession reframes their entire relationship and implies that catra tortured adora physically and emotionally because she was in love with her. and again, the whole “just this once, stay” implies that catra still thinks that adora abandoned her, after everything that happened.
so yeah, i hope this answers your question!
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suncaptor · 3 months
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is there really a difference? or is wanting it just how you're damned?
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