#also I swear when he appears on the tv some parts of the effects vaguely shape like walrider's face sometimes

[rika-mortis]

I can’t resist myself to draw this magnificent bastard

#outlast #outlast trials #hendrick joliet easterman #dr easterman #the outlast trials #my art #fanart #he's pretty neat as an outlast antagonist if you ask me #really want to know more about him #also I swear when he appears on the tv some parts of the effects vaguely shape like walrider's face sometimes #idk I could just be trippin tho

[fleetingpieces]

My One in a Million Chapter 3

Well, this took longer than anticipated! Somehow I kept rewriting this cause it wasn’t turning out how I wanted it to, but it’s here! And to compensate for the wait, it’s slightly longer than the other chapters :D

Thank you Nayla and @inloveoknutzy for proof reading and your help, I love you guys 😊

And thanks again @lumosinlove for your amazing characters and universe, quite a few of them make an appearance today!

Wether you celebrate christmas or not, I hope you all had a wonderful day ❤️ Enjoy!

CW: Mention of past hospital stay and mild panic attack. Please look after yourself  ❤️ (If you want to skip that part stop reading at the end when it says “Remus trailed off, his voice dying down.” and start again when it says “He stood up suddenly.”)

Chapter 3 - Halloween

The slap of Remus' feet against the ground was a steady beat in the morning air. The cool breeze fanning his face felt refreshing, fully waking him up as he and Lily made their way between the trees in the park.

Remus had always been used to jogging alone, but since Lily had started going to his clases she was quickly becoming a very good friend, and spending time with her was something he really enjoyed. They liked going out for coffee and talking a lot, and Remus had already learned quite a bit about her: she wasn't really dating Sirius, but a guy named James, who was Sirius' best friend. She lived just a few blocks from his apartment building, worked in a bookshop not too far from there, and was one of the most kind and cool people Remus had met so far. She reminded him a bit of Leo in that aspect.

She was also incredibly stubborn.

"You are coming to the party tonight, right?" 

Remus groaned. He'd hoped Lily would have forgotten about it in the past two weeks, but clearly he'd underestimated Lily Evans' will power when she got something in her mind.

"I told you already Lils, he and I don't get along very well."

Contrary to Lily’s, his relationship with Sirius was only getting worse. They’d run into each other a couple of times, and it was always a very tense affair; Remus ignored him as best he could, and Black had not teased him again but had gone back to being a grumpy jerk. After Lily's insistence, he'd told her why he was against being anywhere near her friend, all the annoying things he did, but he didn't add that he had made a complete fool of himself in front of Black and that there was no way he would willingly show his face into his home.

Lily sighed, "I know, but it's not been a good month for Sirius. I'm sure you guys would get along great if you met under different circumstances."

"Maybe," Remus conceded, although he wasn't so sure about that, "but I have plans with Leo already, and I haven't seen him since he helped me move in."

That was longer than they usually spent apart, but it couldn't be helped. Leo was studying and he lived a bit far away, which made everything more complicated. But he would be arriving in a few hours to stay over for the weekend; they were gonna walk around, grab pizza at Sid's and then they would do a horror movie marathon. And even if Remus enjoyed Lily's company deeply, he'd much rather spend Halloween in the comfort of his own house with his best friend, than in a party full of strangers and with a man that made him feel embarrassed and on edge all at once. Remus wasn't used to having his emotions all over the place like this, not since his last boyfriend. He didn't like being reminded of how he’d felt then.

Raising her hands in surrender, Lily dropped the subject without another word, which surprised but pleased Remus greatly. He didn’t think he could have kept giving her excuses without explaining the whole situation to her.

He should have known better than to think it would be that easy.

That evening, he was coming back home with Leo after stuffing their mouths with the best pizza ever, pineapple of course, still catching up to what he’d missed in the past few weeks.

"How’s your mum, Leo?"

"Oh God, I swear since you left both our mums have gotten worse. They get together all the time, gossiping and baking. It’s like they are our age again. And your mum’s convinced you’re seeing someone," Leo said with a smirk.

"You and I both know that my dog is the only one around here that I’m seeing," Remus rolled his eyes.

They stepped into the entrance hall, saying hi to the concierge at the front desk with a smile. The man smiled back, but he looked tired. More so than usual, and it wasn’t even that late, which struck Remus as weird, but he figured working night shifts must take its toll on someone.

It wasn’t long before they were on the lift going up, but it was only when the doors opened on Remus’ floor that they heard the deep bass notes coming from the end of the corridor.

“What the…” Leo muttered in surprise.

Remus frowned as they walked into the hall, passing by a few people in costumes with drinks in their hands who were chatting excitedly, and a couple making out next to Remus’ door.

“I can’t believe this. What’s the deal with that guy, how did he manage to get the administration on board with this?”

“What the hell is going on?” Leo asked, clearly confused.

“Halloween party,” Remus replied, trying to keep his blood from boiling. He hadn’t thought it would be such a big party, he wasn’t even sure they were allowed to do something like this. He was pretty positive the building’s rules were against it. Maybe Black had bribed someone. “He could have at least warned me that it would be this bad,” Remus said grumpily, eyeing the couple by his door like he was ready to shove them aside.

Leo must have noticed this, ‘cause a second later he patted Remus’ back and fetched the spare keys Remus had given him.

“C’mon, let’s go inside.”

Using his smile, and patience that Remus didn’t have right then, Leo got rid of the lovebirds and was about to put the key in when Remus glanced around and saw Lily leaning against the wall at the end. She looked amazing in her Rosie the Riveter costume that exposed her lean arms and legs, and was talking with one of the guys that Remus had seen wandering around the building. She was making big gestures with her hands when she looked up and locked eyes with Remus.

“Fuck.”

Leo turned around to look at him quizzically just as Lily screamed “Remus!” and started making her way over to them.

The man next to her followed behind. He was wearing a white and gold toga that barely covered his thighs and showed a lot of his broad chest, with golden bands on his forearms and sandals.

Remus heard the sound of keys crashing against the floor, and looked up to see Leo’s slightly wide eyes and open mouth as he stared at the two people getting closer to them. He coughed pointedly and Leo blinked again and bent down to pick up his keys as a flush started creeping up his neck. Oh, how he would tease him for this. 

But that was for later, right now he had to deal with a grinning Lily Evans.

For half a second he considered just going inside and avoiding all of this, but he couldn’t do that to Lily, and it was already way too late to pretend he hadn’t seen her.

“Hey, you’re here! How was your dinner?” 

Remus wondered if she’d been waiting outside just to catch him, but she seemed genuinely happy to see him, and he couldn’t help smiling back at her.

“It was great, thank you. Leo and I were just gonna go chill for a bit, so…” he threw a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at his flat, but Lily tilted her head up to focus on Leo and her eyes got a knowing look that couldn’t be good.

“Hi, I’m Lily, and this is Logan,” she smiled coyly as she placed a hand on the man’s shoulder who, Remus noticed, was alternating between staring at Leo and down at the floor; but he smiled warmly when Leo gave him a shy wave.

“Salut! Are you guys joining the party?” he said with eager eyes, and it was then that Remus managed to place Black’s accent, as it was so similar to Logan’s. French. He had to fight not to groan.

“Ah, sorry, but well,” Remus said vaguely, “we don’t really have costumes.” It was a lame excuse and he knew it, but it was the first thing he could think of. Leo snapped his eyes to him, a conflicted scowl settling on his face.

As expected, Lily waved a dismissive hand, “costumes are not mandatory. C’mon, I promise you’ll have fun.”

It felt like all three of them were staring at him with pleading eyes now, and Remus had no idea why. Well, he had an idea in Leo’s case, but still. Remus glanced at his best friend and could read his face as if it had subtitles. Please, Remus, just for a bit? Remus raised an eyebrow in response, and Leo turned on the puppy eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Logan almost choking on his drink.

“Ugh, fine, I guess we could stop by for a bit.”

Clapping her hands happily, Lily guided them over to the front door and opened it for them. Meanwhile, Remus was taking a deep breath, wondering how the fuck he could keep a straight face and not die from embarrassment.

Inside, there were more people going about, a table full of cups and all sorts of bottles where Lily immediately fixed them with drinks, and some music on the background that a few people were dancing to. Overall, it wasn’t as wild as it seemed from the outside.

The main crowd appeared to be gathered around an entertainment center in the living room, where there was a huge TV surrounded by a big and comfy looking couch, and a few too-huge armchairs. There were people sitting on them, on the floor, and perched on the arm and backrests; and among all of them Remus saw everyone he’d ran into in the previous weeks. Logan went straight to sit next to the redhead, who had a controller in his hands that he was tapping furiously, as he was taking part in a fighting game.

Remus didn’t pay much attention to them though, ‘cause he’d spotted Sirius in the room and stopped short at what he saw.

Sirius' costume was simple but effective. He was wearing jeans that seemed barely able to contain his powerful thighs, a white tank top splashed with blood, dog tags hanging around his neck, a cigar between his pink lips and fake blades sprouting from his knuckles. It went without saying, he made a very enticing Wolverine.

But that was not why Remus couldn’t tear his eyes away —at least not the main reason why. Black was sitting right next to the guy in glasses, who was leaning into him, whispering something in his ear as he played the game, with his eyes still on the tv screen and his fingers flying over the controller. Sirius was laughing freely at whatever the guy was saying, head thrown back and eyes crinkled, which was something Remus had not seen before.

And it took his fucking breath away.

Black was always so serious, barely any expression on his face, but now he was shaking his head, looking at the other guy with such unmasked fondness, that Remus felt a spark of curiosity light inside of him.

But then Sirius looked up, frowned, and the spark died.

He watched as Sirius’ eyes travelled down his body and then slowly all the way up, and Remus swore he saw something in his face before his scowl deepened. Suddenly feeling extremely self conscious of his big comfy jumper and fitted jeans, Remus bunched the sleeves to hide his hands, worrying the hem. He started turning around to go somewhere else, already thinking of ways to escape from the party, but Lily put a hand on both his back and Leo’s and guided them exactly to where Sirius was sitting on one of the armrests.

“What’s this, Lily?” the man said in an accusing tone, setting the cigar down on the table in front of him.

Lily just rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t be such a party pooper. Remus lives next door, I just thought it would be good if you two actually got to know each other like two civilized people. And y’know, introduce him to the gang, so he doesn’t freak out every time they invade your home.”

“Wait, how do you know him?” the guy in glasses suddenly looked up.

“Oh, he’s the teacher in my new yoga class.”

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” he pouted, and Remus figured this must be James. He was proven right when Lily smiled at him, going over and sitting in his lap. The game was suddenly forgotten; James didn’t seem to mind that he was now losing very quickly.

“Pots, focus!” someone yelled, but James only had eyes for Lily as she leaned in and kissed him.

“Are you worried?” she teased.

James scoffed. “Of course not. I trust you with my life Lils, but it’s such a weird coincidence.”

“Wait, no no no! Oh, come on!” There were laughs all around as the redhead next to Logan threw the controller down and turned to mock glare at Lily and James. “Lily, what did I tell you? Don’t distract him when he plays on my team!”

“Stop crying and pay up, O’Hara!” a guy from the other team yelled, before giving a high-five to his partner.

Between all the ruckus and bickering that followed, a tall girl with curly blond hair came to stand next to them with a curious look. 

“Who’s this?”

“Oh yeah,” Lily sat up, getting the attention of the whole room. “Everyone, these are Remus and Leo. Remus is Sirius' new neighbor, so be nice to them!”

Remus laughed awkwardly at the motherly introduction and pulled at a loose thread on his sleeve. “Thanks Lily. It’s nice to meet you all.”

"Hello," Leo smiled brightly, earning himself a dopey smile from the boy next to Logan.

The blond girl that had approached them smiled a wicked grin, “you guys just stepped into the lion’s den. I’m Marlene, by the way. These are Talker and Kasey,” she said pointing to the pair that had just won. The guy named Talker smiled broadly, but didn’t wink at Remus like he had the first time they had seen each other. “And the sore loser over there is Finn.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Pots has the attention span of a two year old!”

There were a lot more people sitting around, whose introductions were lost under the chirping war that ensued as the guys put in a new game. Remus’ face lit up when he looked up at the screen.

“Is that the new NHL game?”

Most heads turned his way, and the guy that was changing games even stopped in the middle of the action as if Remus had just announced to the whole room that he wanted to dance around naked.

“Yeah, do you play?”

It was Sirius that had asked, which surprised Remus since it was the first thing he’d said directly to him since he’d entered the room. Black looked surprised, his body completely turned to face Remus as opposed to the sideway glances he’d been throwing his way.

“I’ve been thinking about buying it for a while, but I’ve never tried it before. I loved the previous version though.” At Sirius’ shocked expression, Remus raised an eyebrow, “Is it so weird that I enjoy playing video games?”

“No,” Sirius choked out, and then cleared his throat. “No. It’s just that we don’t usually meet people that seem so eager to play with us rather than getting buzzed out of their minds.”

Remus scoffed, “I very much prefer this type of party to be honest.” His thought was echoed by laughs and nods of agreement all around.

Settling more comfortably on the couch, Sirius removed the fake claws and bent down to grab a controller, turning to offer it to Remus. “Play with me?”

The guys in the room looked at each other in a way that Remus thought was a bit suspicious, which made him narrow his eyes at Black, who rolled his and waved the remote between them. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I don’t bite y’know.”

Remus stared into those silver eyes and was lost for a second. There was a fire burning in his gaze, he seemed more earnest than he’d ever seen him before. In that moment, Remus forgot that this was the guy he was trying to avoid, the one that got his emotions in complete disarray, and he absentmindedly took the control in his hands before sitting down next to Sirius. Leo sat at his other side, slapping him on the back.

“Kick his ass, Loops.”

Finn’s head lifted at the same time that Remus turned to grin at Leo, and Remus had to keep in a chuckle. Boy, Leo was really getting some attention tonight.

Sirius chose to play with Pittsburgh, while Remus chose Dallas, and before Remus could properly think about what he was doing, the game had started.

For the first few minutes, Sirius controlled the pace and took the lead with a smug expression on his face, punching the buttons almost lazily. The corner of Remus’ mouth quirked up. Sirius was good, really good, but he was too conceited, and soon he would regret that.

Indeed, right after that, Remus scored a goal and Sirius’ face dropped. Leo whooped, giving him a high-five while Sirius sat forward and leant on his elbows, his eyes set on the TV. It was a very heated deal after that.

Both of them fought like it was a life or death sort of situation, bumping their shoulders occasionally and chirping each other as if they were actually on the ice.

“Don’t you think Sirius looks an awful lot like Letang?” a shocked James whispered into Lily’s ear, but everyone around heard him.

“Oh wow, that’s terrifying,” Finn was looking from the screen to Sirius’ face with wide eyes.

Remus snorted, and he was surprised to realize he was actually enjoying himself. If he was being completely honest, he hadn’t had so much fun with anyone other than Leo in a really long time; it was hard to keep the wide grin from his face as he started catching up to Sirius.

“C’mon Rem, you almost have it,” Leo encouraged when they were tied.

Sirius threw a side glance their way with a frown, just as Remus shot the puck and scored another goal. The game finished not too long after with a scream of “Yes!” from both Remus and Leo, who laughed together and hugged each other, Remus giggling when Leo ruffled his hair.

“Finn...dimples,” Remus heard the whisper from somewhere in the room and looked up to see who’d said it, but was instead met by a disbelieving gaze. Sirius was almost gawking at him, his eyebrows raised and mouth slightly open, but his eyes were bright and Remus ducked his head when he felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

Then he glanced around and realized that other people in the room were staring at him in different states of wide eyes.

“What?”

Finn was the one to break the short silence, “Just...bitch ass moves, Remus.”

That prompted an onslaught of questions.

“How did you do that?”

“None of us has ever beaten Sirius in that game before.”

“What do you do again?”

Remus looked at Talker, rubbing the back of his neck, “Um. I’m a PT and a yoga instructor.”

"Well, shit," Talker nodded approvingly. Remus supposed he didn’t really look like a gamer, but he didn’t get what the fuss was all about.

“He’s pretty famous too, a lot of people are waiting in line for his classes,” Leo added with a note of pride in his voice.

“Oh!” Remus turned to look at Kasey, who had his eyes trained on him. “That’s where I know you from! My girlfriend Natalie is obsessed with your videos. She says you’re a great teacher, and not at all bad to look at,” he said with a straight face.

Remus’ cheeks flushed a deeper red in a matter of seconds and he looked down to avoid everyone’s gazes. Especially those grey eyes that seemed to look into his soul.

“Mon dieu, il y a des vidéos?” Sirius muttered, making Leo laugh. Sirius’ head snapped towards him, his eyes widening as Leo replied something in french with a smirk etched on his soft features, something that Remus didn’t understand but it made Sirius choke on his words.

“What’s that?” Remus asked, but Leo only shook his head, still laughing, before his eyes drifted off and found Finn and Logan staring at him. A blush appeared on his cheeks, and Remus could practically hear the other two boys swooning.

There was a deep scowl on Sirius’ face again, who was still very much staring at Remus. Was it because he didn’t like Remus? Or because he didn't like losing? What a sore loser, Remus thought, but he felt squirmish under that gaze. Why is he still staring at me?

But then he saw Black glancing at Leo’s pride bracelet, his expression going harder. Oh God, that would be the cherry on top if he was a homophobic, wouldn’t it? He was about to ask if he had a problem, but someone spoke first.

“I believe the word used was hot,” Natalie’s voice drifted in as she suddenly appeared in the doorway. Remus pulled a face at her.

“Nat, you can’t just go saying those things!”

“What? It’s true,” she shrugged. “I mean, I won’t if it bothers you, but that aside, you’re definitely better than half the people out there.”

James threw his hands in the air impatiently. “I still can’t believe you beat Pa-” he started, but was interrupted by a death glare and he cleared his throat, “Sirius. I can’t believe you won against Sirius.” Then a mischievous smile slowly spread on his face. “I mean, Remus, you could probably beat that Padfoot guy, and he does that for a living.”

Remus snorted, “as if. There’s no way I could ever beat Pads.”

He saw eyebrows being raised, and the scowl completely disappearing from Sirius’ features, to be replaced by a perplexed expression.

“You...you know about him?” he asked, with such awe in his voice that Remus frowned.

“I...yes? I’ve followed his channel since before he got famous,” he shrugged.

“Isn’t that interesting?” James said with a smirk, turning to look at Sirius, who punched him in the arm. James’ smile just widened and Remus’ frown deepened as he continued, "I wonder what you could possibly like about him."

“I personally think that Padfoot is a stuck-up,” Logan said off-handedly, ignoring the daggers Sirius was shooting his way.

“Yeah, he thinks he’s all that, but he’s a bit annoying really,” Finn added, barely keeping in the laughter.

Leo raised his eyebrows, glancing sideways at Remus when he noticed him tensing up, his fists clenching.

“That’s a load of bullshit,” he finally said, causing the laughter to die down. “Padfoot built himself from the ground up, he didn’t have any outside help. And he’s not a stuck-up! Even in the face of all the nonsense criticism he gets, he helps a lot of people in all sorts of situations without even...” Remus trailed off, his voice dying down. He felt like he’d been thrown underwater. He stared off at nothing, his eyes getting slightly unfocused as he tried to think solely of breathing, but he couldn’t avoid being suddenly thrown into a memory.

The cold bed with rumpled sheets. The beeping of his own heart in the hospital machine. His mum’s painting on the nightstand. The smell of antiseptics and dull walls closing in on him. Not being able to get air into his lungs.  A retreating back, walking away from him. Being left alone, alone alone al–

He stood up suddenly, finally taking a shaky breath in.

“I should go check on my dog.” Leo glanced his way, and Remus gave him a reassuring smile, “You can stay if you want to. You have the keys.” He gave him a little nod to convey the answer to Leo’s unspoken question. I’m fine, don’t worry.

Remus turned around and exited the room with a dull ‘bye’, completely unaware of Sirius’ utterly soft expression as he watched him go.

#wolfstar #wolfstar fic #My One in a Million #Sweater Weather #sweater weather lumosinlove #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #sirius x remus

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 7x18 Dirty Girls

aka gotta have faith

We did it, guys! We made it to the last season! Also, hello if you’re new, and stumbled upon this without context. As usual, these impromptu text posts are the product of my fevered mind as I rant about the episode I just watched for an hour (okay, sometimes perhaps two). Anything goes!

And in today’s episode, our secondary villain is finally revealed made of pure misogyny, and Faith is here to make everything better.

So... Dirty Girls. We really are in the finish line of the season now.

This episode opens with two scenes that I’m not sure were intended to have the connection I made, but let’s do it anyway. In the first, we’re introduced to Caleb, a priest with extremely misogynistic views of women, who is revealed to be an agent of the First. And one who’s been pulling a lot of its strings in our world at that, like blowing up the council, or organizing the Bringers.

I guess Caleb hates humanity as a whole - he is aligning himself with the First after all -, but he directs pretty much all of that hatred onto women. He calls the Potential he picks up with his truck a ‘whore’ and ‘dirty’, and from his fantasies of his past, you get the idea that he specifically targeted young women using his authority, seduced them, and then turned it around and punished them for it.

Misogyny as a theme happens a lot on the show of course, Buffy fights the patriarchy after all. But when it comes to overt depictions of it, it’s often a bit… well, overt. You want to cheer Buffy for punching the douchebag in the face, but you’re also aware of how it’s an exaggeration of reality, made to get that fistbump reaction out of you.

And actually, that’s something that I think is worth re-examining too. A few years back, when the Supergirl TV show was about to premiere, there were a lot of discussions around this type of overt feminism. When I watched the pilot, I experienced some of these cringe moments myself. But, despite some of the many actual problems of the show and its feminism at the time, it also got me thinking.

Why? Why do I actually feel cringey about this?

And the answer that I found was that I was imagining watching the show from a perspective other than my own. Kind of like watching the 1992 Buffy movie back in the 90s with my brother made me hyperaware of its many faults, instead of giving me a chance to enjoy its culty ridiculousness.

So, while considering other perspectives can be essential in forming critical thought of your media, there’s a difference in trying to understand a minority perspective for instance, and feeling the need to put yourself in the shoes of the dominant culture, and base your opinions with that in mind.

But that’s a tangent inside a tangent.

Disregarding all that, imo the show’s most successful and impactful depictions of misogyny arguably come from characters who don’t always act like monsters. I actually like the bad guy from Reptile Boy for instance. He acts charming and nice to lure Buffy in, and only reveals his true nature, once he holds all the power.

Caleb in that sense then, is the show’s best and most horrifying example of that type of misogynistic evil.

(And yes, we could also talk about the Trio here, but trying to fold them in would be yet another tangent, and it’s time to talk about the actual episode at this point.)

Caleb says to the First that he doesn’t lie... but that’s a lie. He does lie. By wearing the symbol of authority, of someone you can confide in, he tells you that he can be trusted. And yes, there is very much a commentary here about the evil of religion and Catholicism, but the point being is that for someone in that community, Caleb’s appearance signals no threat. And Caleb uses that assumption to his advantage.

He only gradually reveals his true nature to Shannon at the beginning. First by calling her a whore. Because hat that point, he knows that he holds the power in their interaction and that he doesn’t need to pretend to be anything but the monster he is in order to lure her in. Shannon’s guard is down, and he knows that she can’t escape.

Caleb’s misogyny is disturbing because it’s still believable in all of its overtness. He does what he does because he knows that he can. He has the power, and that power reveals all of his deepest darkest thoughts with nothing to keep him in check.

And right after this scene, you get Xander’s dream. Where he dreams about two Potentials coming onto him in a threesome situation (and specifically with the two women also getting it on with each other in front of him, because I guess fetishizing lesbians is still a thing that Xander hasn’t internalized despite his best friend being one), while the rest of the girls are having some sexy pillow-fight in the other room.

So… I guess we’re pairing up scary misogyny with “”fun”” misogyny?

Of course, since this is a dream, we can argue that Xander can’t really be held responsible for it. We don’t have power over our dreams after all. It’s where our subconscious works through stuff, and that doesn’t reflect our persona wholly.

Except then the question still remains – why is this scene here? Why would someone write this scene in, especially in an episode full of these themes? When Xander wakes up, he’s immediately faced with the reality, where his role is to fix the toilets. It’s supposed to be funny. Look how powerless he actually is, compared to the girls.

But then he also gets the big speech moment in the very same episode, supporting Buffy, and then loses an eye to Caleb. How are these things connected? And if they’re not… why is that scene at the beginning there?

I mean, you could interpret Caleb removing one of Xander’s eyes as a punishment for Xander having these ‘urges’… Except Caleb’s comment before doing that doesn’t reference that. It references Xander’s speech from Potential, where he’s telling Dawn that he sees a lot by being underappreciated.

So, that’s probably not what they were going for. And it’s a stretch of an interpretation. In the end, there’s little to no reason for that scene to be there, and therefore I’m left with the impression, that the writers weren’t even aware of the misogynistic angle of Xander fetishizing all these young women in his dream. They just thought it was funny.

God, I wrote 1k workds already, and I haven’t even got to Buffy’s storyline in this.

This episode is setting up the pre-finale twist of everyone turning against Buffy, which I kinda hate. And that bleeds into my thoughts of Dirty Girls, unfortunately.

Like, I get it. Everyone kept telling Buffy that this was a trap, that it was a bad idea to bring the Potentials to confront Caleb without knowing more, and she ignored them. And that got a whole lot of them injured. At least two of them dead. It was a bad call.

On the other hand, didn’t Giles keep telling her in the last episode that she needed to make these hard decisions? That she needed to think big picture, and accept that there would be losses? And now, when he advises her against action, and she makes the damn ‘hard choice’ and ‘acts like a general’ I guess it’s still her fault, huh.

I swear, nothing Buffy ever does is good for these people. And maybe that’s the point we’re making, that leadership is lonely and hard and whatever the fuck, but I’m tired and I kinda hate it.

Buffy fucked up, yes. Okay. But instead of dealing with that, instead of having an honest conversation where we can explore these things, we just vaguely hint at how this is driving a wedge between her and the rest of the group.

Thanks, I hate it.

But hey, at least Faith’s here! The way Eliza Dushku delivers this line in particular is an absolute highlight:

SPIKE:  “Not all that tension was about you. Giles was a part of a plan to kill me. For Buffy's own good.” FAITH:  “Well, that makes me feel better about me… worse about Giles...kinda shaky about you.”

The show also addresses the fact that no one told Faith about what the fuck was going on. Which… is a bit of a problem, and paints each and every character on Buffy in a pretty bad light? Willow’s whole explanation about how, well, Faith was in prison and they thought she was safe there falls pretty flat (especially since Faith was in fact attacked in prison due to this), and the characters know it. More than anything, it just feels like they all forgot about Faith, and how this whole plan of the First to murder the Slayer line affects her.

And yet, to be honest, I couldn’t help but feel like it was the writers that actually forgot? Or at the very least, thought that it was inconvenient to share this information with Faith, before both shows came to a point where they could integrate her character into the story again?

Anyway, whoever you blame this on, it’s kinda bad.

Overall, Dirty Girls is still chilling and effective, and Faith is a breath of fresh air in this final stretch of the season. I’m just not a big fan of where we’re taking Buffy’s arc here before the big finale, and that shows.

Next up: Wine mom and vodka aunt fight over the kids’ love.

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

[thordodaday]

Deliver Me

Summary: After Thanos' Snap, Thor retreats to new Asgard and into himself. He becomes a drunken angry recluse. But after a bender, he comes across Wren, someone else who has seen loss and been traumatized by the snap. She is angry and in a similar dark place as Thor. She is in need of his help and Thor's natural desire to do just that overcomes him but she is less than grateful when he brings her back to New Asgard to recover. But could this be the beginning of something more despite both of them? Are they just what each other need to heal?

Warnings:  Rated M for suicide attempt/talk, eventual smut, characters with PTSD, possible language

(Not sure if this will be a one shot/short story or will be longer yet)

Thor was pulled from his semi-conscious state by a loud scream. Upon first hearing it, the sound was hazy, just a part of the background and the fog that constantly filled his mind; and all the noise that he tried to numb by being in a constant drunken stupor. The screaming continued, becoming clearer until it was no longer just a part of the fog. As Thor continued to lie there sprawled on his back, he realized he was not alone in the woods just outside of New Asgard where he wandered off and passed out. His ears perked up despite himself and he slowly pulled himself to his feet fighting against the pounding between his ears. He stumbled until he got his bearings and he slowly headed in the direction of the sound.

                                          *****************

           Wren looked down at the blood dripping from her hands. Her heart was pounding against her chest as she struggled to catch her breath. Tears poured down her cheeks as she clenched her aching fingers into fists again and turning her rage and anguish on the large blood streaked tree in front of her again. She let out another cry of agony as her hands connected with the huge trunk of the ancient tree. She looked at the bottles of pills strewn on the ground at her feet as she sank to the ground, clawing at the trunk of the tree. “I changed my mind.” She sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She pressed her cheek against the tree. “I didn’t mean to.” She continued to talk to carry one her one sided conversation as she sobbed; lying against what she thought was her best friend as she kept talking. “I thought you were gone. I wanted to be with you. How did you get here? I never would have done it if I had known you could come back.” Her words began to slur together as her head lolled back .

                                      ******************

           Sounds of shouting filled Wren’s ears. It vaguely reminded her of the sounds her brothers used to make when they played video games and that aching emptiness hit her in the gut like a someone had knocked the wind out of her. But the sounds were distorted. She felt like she was underwater, or the sound was. It was disorienting. She felt at once numb but very aware of her head. It felt so heavy. She wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or if she was fully conscious. All she saw was black but she didn’t know if she was staring into the dark or at the back of her eyes. She was faintly aware of someone lifting her arm. She tried to speak but her tongue felt too big for her mouth and like it was covered in peanut shells. Someone patted her arm and she heard soothing sounds in the water along with the video game shouting before everything faded to black again.

           Wren would wake during her haze and swear that her best friend was lying on her side smiling at her and her heart would break all over. She squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that burned her cheeks and willed herself back into the darkness.

           When finally her head felt clear and her stomach growled, her eyes fluttered unwillingly open and she stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. Her nose wrinkled involuntarily at the odor that filled her nostrils, a mixture of dirty socks, B.O. and something else she couldn’t and didn’t want to identify. She had no idea how long it had been since she’d attempted her overdose and she had only been vaguely aware of the stranger who’d approached her just as she’d lost consciousness or at least she thought she had seen someone; she couldn’t be sure. She also thought she’d seen-Wren pushed those painful thoughts away. All of her limbs felt stiff and she slowly started to rotate her ankles to help ease some of the ache in her joints. She slowly sat up and pushed her  matted rainbow colored hair out of her face and took in more of her surroundings. She felt like she was inside a hut or a cabin. It was incredibly dark and incredibly messy. As she became more aware of her senses, she also became more aware of the overwhelming stench and she pulled the blanket over her mouth but she let out a gagging cough before she managed to cover her mouth.

           “Hey man.”

           Wren jumped when she heard the sound from the darkened corner near the flashing lights of the TV. She saw an extremely large shadowed figure in a headset holding a video controller elbow another large shadowed figure who sighed extremely loudly before tossing his headset and controller, standing and walking towards her.

           The figure ambled closer to her and once he was in the light, she sensed a familiarity about him but she wasn’t sure why. The large man was in a pair of dirty plaid pajama pants that his belly hung over. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his chest and arms held the faintest lines of once being firm but were now covered with a layer of fat. His soft cheeks were nearly hidden by a long unruly beard and equally unkempt long blonde hair that had sectioned itself off and twisted into long tangled curls. But underneath all the unruly hair, he had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. One was a shade of blue that she couldn’t even describe, the other was golden with flecks of green and brown. She thought that even with the dirty hair and beard he was unbelievably good looking and that with a bath; she wasn’t sure she would be able to handle the potential beauty that this man standing in front of her offered. As she stared into his beautiful eyes, she realized there was an immense sadness in them that he was trying to hide as he stared back at her and she wondered again why he seemed so familiar to her.

           “You’re awake.”  He finally uttered.

           “It would appear.”

           “Hungry?”

           “How long was I out?”

           “Almost a week.”

           “A week?!” Wren gasped. She tossed the blanket off her and heaved her legs over the edge of the bed. But as soon as she tried to stand, she became very unsteady and felt like she was going to pass out. She grabbed his forearm and he gently grasped her upper arm to steady her.

           “I’ve had my healer coming in to check on you every day. She’s the one who revived you and reversed the effects of all those pills that you took.”

           Wren looked up at him, her brow wrinkled in confusion. “Healer? Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you?”

           Thor helped her sit back down on the bed and then offered her a cup of water. Wren studied the cup carefully and hoped it was clean before taking a tentative sip. “I could ask you the same thing. How did you get here? And who are you?”

           Wren lifted her chin defiantly, “I asked you first.”

Thor chuckled. He liked the confident glint he saw in her eye in spite of the extreme sorrow that he could feel rolling off of her in waves. Thor didn’t consider himself picky when it came to a woman’s shape; he just enjoyed women, but he did have to admit that if he had a preference, it would be a thick woman. Despite the depths of despair that he’d been in and her own crisis when he’d found her, he had to admit to himself his physical attraction to the large woman who landed in his backyard. She had just a hint of a waist, large breasts and backside and long, wild hair. Her left arm was covered in tattoos and she had a nose ring. And just this small interaction, he realized a big personality to match, which only made his attraction stronger. It felt good to feel even the tiniest bit like he did before even if just for a moment.

“You’re in New Asgard. I’m Th-.”

Recognition crossed her features before Wren’s eyes narrowed to slits. She felt angry tears burn her eyes as her heart pounded against her rib cage and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “I know exactly who you are.” She stood up again and glared hatefully up at Thor as her chest clenched and she dug an accusing finger into the flesh of his chest. “Everything that happened,” she paused to wipe the tears that streaked her face. “It’s because of you. You and your superfriends…you failed. It’s because of you…” Wren stopped, she just continued to stare up at him, a mixture of grief and hatred on her tear streaked face.

Thor’s face darkened; after everything with Thanos, he blamed himself and retreated into this hut; unable to even properly rule New Asgard. He was plagued by nightmares, seeing his friends and family killed in front of his eyes, then turning to dust-he relived that horror over and over every night. So he stopped sleeping and started drinking and eating and playing video games.

He tried to fight it, but his eyes filled with tears, his nose burned and he swallowed around a huge lump forming in his throat. The beautiful woman standing in front of him had stopped speaking but her eyes said more than any words ever could.

“I need to get out of here.”

Thor wiped at his nose, “Go then.” He growled, trying to sound angrier than he felt.

Wren took a step, her legs still feeling shaky but she squared her shoulders and marched towards the door and left, making sure to slam it loudly when she left.

                                               ******************

Thor grabbed his large mug and filled it with beer before dropping defeatedly into his chair. He swallowed it in one gulp then reached for the cask of ale, pulling it closer to him. “I don’t want to hear it, Korg.” He sighed when he felt his large friend looming over him.

“Hey man.” Korg began. “You gotta go after her.” Thor heard Miek’s chirp of agreement from the corner. “I know what she said was hurtful.”

Thor blew a raspberry with his mouth, and poured himself more beer. “She did not hurt my feelings.” He scoffed.

“But you know what it’s like to be going through a hard time, man.”

Thor rolled his eyes and grunted before gulping down the rest of his beer as he reached for his shoes.

Also on my AO3 account:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20359414/chapters/48278761

#Thor #Thor fic #Thor fan fic #Thor fanfiction #Endgame Thor #Endgame Thor fanfiction #Thor/OC female

[ryewi]

Trip Down Our Memory Lane - pjm

Summary: As if compiling clips from different points of your friendship in a short video wasn’t a good enough rollercoaster of emotions, you decided that after leading the man of your dreams through nearly twenty years of footage, a confession seemed like a perfect way to end it.

Genre: Best friends to lovers!au , F L U F F

Words: 3k

Warnings: none!

Early A/N: The summary bloody sucks but I don’t even know how to summarize this,,, help

Planning and implementation of amazing and innovative surprises, were always considered as your specialties. Although your friend circle and family tree weren’t huge, you took that as a chance to put additional effort and work harder to make each surprise better than the last one. Whoever was blessed to get a present from you, would turn into a gasping and astonished mess in a matter of seconds. Sometimes, they were extremely emotional, causing a few tears to fall here and there, but usually, that kind was intended only for those who you’ve known for a long time.

Today marked the 13th of October, also known as one of the most important dates throughout the whole year. It was Jimin’s day, the day of your best friend of nearly two decades. The only problem was, Jimin knew you inside and out, knew how observant you were and was often next to you during creative times. That usually led to his surprisingly accurate predictions of gifts/surprises, which frequently caused trouble with planning Jimin’s own present without being found out.

This year, you decided to do something special and amongst two other beautifully wrapped boxes, prepared a twenty-minute video. Jimin mentioned a thousand times how your regular midnight birthday texts were his most favorite part of the day. Deciding that it was time to step up your game, you created a more powerful version of a birthday, recalling-the-history-of-our-friendship, message.

“Now, miss excuse me, who are you and what did you do to my best friend?” As if on que, Jimin carelessly walked through the door, knocking a long-forgotten act between the two of you. For a quick moment, you pondered what his statement was about, when Jimin decided to bring up the answer himself. Holding up his new iPhone, he let you read a painfully short dialogue of four sentences that were exchanged between him and a person nicknamed “no.1 hypewoman ✌”.

no.1 hypewoman ✌ - 09:42

⇢ Happy birthday! You free today?

You – 09:55

⇢ Hey, thanks, and uh, depends when

no.1 hypewoman ✌ - 09:57

⇢ 5pm? I’d like you to come over?

You – 10:06

⇢ Sure

Jimin was slightly taken aback to say at least, you acted distant the last few days, the last two texts that you sent were three days ago. Quick and short ‘good night xxx’ and ‘ew I’m never using x’s again’ delivered a few minutes before midnight. But it was okay, Jimin was an extremely considerate person, yet, he couldn’t help feeling slightly annoyed at the lack of communication on such a special date. Of course, you hadn’t forgotten, but such a vague message when all he was used to were paragraphs and paragraphs of adoration sent the moment the clock ticked twelve.

Surely, he could only be overreacting, but there was also a certain amount of interest lacking from your side. Or was there?

“Your best friend is right here, flesh and bones, Mr. Park” your hands ran over your body, as to emphasize the words and their effect. “Now I’d please you to move to the living room, I have something to show you”. You disappeared into your room, letting the boy seat himself on a white sofa, placed right before your television. Jimin’s eyes lit up at the indirect mention of a present, you actually had something for him, therefore your apparent lack of attentiveness was only an act. Gosh, of course that it was, you’re so naïve to your own deceiving Jimin.  

Once you came back, and the USB was safely connected with the huge screen of your new TV, you switched a couple of channels, finally finding the one connected to the detachable object. Jimin’s eyes were firmly fixed on all the colors flashing before them as your fingers fumbled with black buttons on a small television remote. He wasn’t aware of what you were doing, nor what kind of present you had for him, but he let you be, nervously anticipating whatever was to come. Finally locating the video amongst thousands of others, you pressed play and watched as all shades faded away.

Suddenly, an extremely old picture of the two of you appeared, making you smile. Just like now, Jimin’s eyes were transforming into thin lines while laughing at the sight of your beautiful face and soft, tiny hands covered in mud. You were wearing a thin summer dress that was thoroughly covered in dirt, while Jimin seemed to be entirely clean, not even a drop of mud decorating the expanse of his fancy summer set.

“I’m pretty sure that the both of us wouldn’t be able to describe what was happening if it wasn’t for our mothers that would repeat it on every single family gathering”, your voice suddenly rang throughout the room, slightly scaring Jimin. He turned to face you, still unaware that the sound wasn’t live, it was pre-recorded and put in as a continuous part of this beautiful video. Motioning for him to avert his gaze back to the TV, you smiled, noticing that he was vaguely mouthing each and every word.

“This was nearly two decades ago, when we were little kids, as obviously shown on the picture. I used to have a special hiding place in one of the playgrounds in our city, that no one really bothered to explore, hence I took it as my own prized piece of land. Until you, Park Jimin, didn’t walk in through the bushes and began arguing that it was your own space. Frankly, our argument was a casual exchange of “I’m going to tell this to my mom!” and “I got here first!”, without any action actually taking place. That’s when I decided to sit down on the ground, refusing to move from my territory and completely ignoring the fact that my bottom was positioned deep inside a puddle of mud. I tried to scratch the itchy spot on my nose, which resulted in my face becoming a muddy canvas. You were such a snake and began laughing, loud enough to draw the attention of your mother that was apparently nearby and always carried a camera around. Shortened, this is our first picture and place in which we met”

Jimin’s wasn’t blinking, eyes wide open and fixed on to the disappearing pictures. You moved closer to hug him, watching as the screen faded away into pitch black, only to reveal the next part.

Once again, it was a video, although this time, you were nowhere to be seen, while Jimin was in full shot. It was a recording taken the night of your graduation. Being best friends for the longest time ever, both of you were obviously each other’s choice for prom. That night, Jimin looked like the most beautiful angel, which could be an ironic statement because of his fully black attire. Jimin wore a black button-up shirt that was neatly tucked in his black dress pants. Equally as dark, but shinier than the rest, Jimin’s shoes were polished to true perfection – you could swear it was possible to see one’s reflection in them. His hair was side parted and freshly dyed, an ashy-silver shade now covering his previously dark strands.

Through the beginning of the recording, it wasn’t possible to see the way you were dressed, but you could still remember being the most flattering female on the whole party. Your dress was perfect for your figure; a pitch black, floor length piece, lace decorating the top of it, while also creating thin, but long sleeves. The patterns on those sleeves were beautifully detailed roses, which were always one of your favorite flowers.  

“Jimin”, your voice once again sounded through the speakers, “are you ready?”. The man had his back turned in your direction, slightly bending over and fixing something on his shirt. Upon not receiving an answer, you let yourself walk further in, peeking around to see what he was up to. Jimin noticed you approaching, and after realizing that he will need some help, decided to ask you for it (in the end really, who else was there to ask?).

“I need help with my tie” Jimin replied, turning around and audibly making you gasp. The sensitive microphone attached to the top of your DSLR, caught even the smallest of shallow breaths that left your lips. He looked like God and Devil combined. So pure, but so sinful at the same time.  

Setting the camera on your bed-side table, you turned it around, still letting it record the small pre-prom interaction that was promised to have much meaning in the future. At least to show your kids how nice it was to have someone like Jimin in your life.  

“You’ll never learn how to tie them, will you?” You asked, laughing while untying the tight knot Jimin somehow managed to create.  

“Well then, I wouldn’t have the pleasure of you doing it for me, would I?” He bit back in a cocky manner, biting his lip and raising an eyebrow. Just in that moment, through the sudden glint of your eyes, when they found Jimin’s, it was possible to note the moment in which you fell into an abyss. The exact second when your brain connected the dots in a quick impulse, sounding an alarm that screamed danger obnoxiously loud.  

Although red lights were going off before your eyes, demanding immediate action and distancing from the Devil himself, you smiled and with shaky hands, continued to tighten the material around Jimin’s neck.  

And although it was supposed to be wrong, it didn’t feel like it.

You could swear that there was a thin layer of tears painting Jimin’s eyes, but to be honest, you were holding back from letting your own tears fall. Even though you were the one who hand-picked these clips and put them together, they always managed to bring back the feeling of nostalgia. That kind of emptiness that makes you miss every second from the past, that makes you realize how old you’re actually getting, how all those moments you’re looking back as memories now, were taken for granted.  

You wanted to reach out and wipe his tears, to kiss his cheeks and tell him it’s not supposed to make him cry. You wanted to hold his small hand in yours, to trace calming circles and assure him that the video was only meant to be throwback material. But way too soon, the screen was fading to black and then fading in to another clip once again. A series of short videos that were taken through snapchat played one after another, showing different scenarios with random and “quirky” captions.  

“He believed me this was an exotic and special cocktail, when it’s ketchup mixed with tequila,,, someone pick this drunk man up” The shot was shaky, your laughter barely audible in the background, muffled by exceptionally loud music. Jimin was drinking some thick red substance from a transparent plastic cup - how convenient for an after-prom party.

“One devastatingly sad and one extremely attractive skeleton” In this one, Jimin was leaning on your shoulder, smiling into the camera as both of you showed off the messy but special Halloween makeup. Honestly, being so last-minute, Jimin had to come up with a very original “couple” costume, aka usual skeleton makeup and black attire that was spray painted in shapes of bones (more like stick figures). Somehow, your best friend managed to wear your own artistic creature way better than expected, while on the other side, he kind of failed paying you back. You had a lot of fun, that’s what mattered the most.

“She helped an elderly woman pass the street, then came running back and asked “will God accept me now?”” Jimin was holding you so tight and recording from a weird upper angle (that somehow worked out for his handsome face), while you were laughing quietly, face buried into his chest, enjoying the fluffy fabric of his hoodie.

“Someone audition him up, because this man is such a pussy” The recording angle was once again, strange, your body comfortably positioned on the sofa, while holding your small device way too low. Jimin was playing Just dance 2017, chasing the unobtainable megastar in Scream & Shout. Although every time, Jimin rocked your ass, you still challenged him often. Being competitive didn’t help neither of you in this situation.

Many more videos rolled in quick, reaching the last one relatively fast. Now, the doubts about it arose again, anxiety bubbling up and second thoughts pilling inside of your mind. It seemed like a great idea a few days ago, but is it really?  

The video didn’t have any caption, plus whatever was on the screen was barely visible. It was 2am, if to believe the analog clock that was caught in the shot for a short moment. Obviously, it was from your point of view, and soon enough it was clear why. Jimin was snuggling close to you, under the covers, hugging your waist tight, eyes closed. Just then, as if reserved, slight peek of the moon through thick clouds allowed its shine to light up a small portion of your room. Jimin’s hair was all over the place, cheeks puffy while nose red. It was the night of his extremely hard breakup. He remembered now.

“She might’ve not loved you, but believe me, my angelic boy, I always will” you whispered quietly, turning around and kissing his forehead; taking a second to stare at such a divine prescience next to you. Gosh, you loved him with your everything.

“And whenever someone crushes your heart, mine will always be there to mend it”

At that line, Jimin’s tears fell, quiet and unnoticeable, for some unidentified reason. Was it because of the flashbacks to the most heartbreaking moment of his life? Was it because he knew your love was platonic, and that whatever was about to happen will only hurt you? You couldn’t tell and the suspension was holding your heart in a choking hold. It was only a good idea to let him know you’ll always be there, always next to him if needed, but also how much you cared while doing so. On the other hand, it wasn’t a good idea to confess if all that you’ll get in return are empty words of pitiful comfort.

Yet, Jimin’s hand found yours and without any hesitation, held it tight. Then, he turned around, locking his teary eyes with your lost ones, letting the clip, and with it the whole presentation end. He bit his lip, uncertain which words to use in his expressions, hell, he was even uncertain about his feelings right now.

“Why?” He asked, scared that one wrong word could ruin everything, when he really didn’t want to. “Why me? I’m not someone you deserve, I-”

That was your yellow light, the one that you’ll rush through before it turned red.

“I got so used to having you next to me, it just felt so right to not want anyone else but you”, starting, your words began to jump over each other, creating the slightest bit of trouble for your tongue that tried to emphasize each of them perfectly. His eyes, although glassy, provided so much comfort, even in crucial or important happenings like this; they once again served as a remind as to why your heart beats only for him.

“Holding your hand is an extremely familiar feeling that’s always somehow new each time it happens” shrugging with your shoulders, you smiled, motioning towards his hand. “Much like now, your hand has been in mine hundreds of times, but has it ever been like this? No”. Jimin smiled, tightening his hold and nodding along. That actions once again gave you a slight rush of confidence, the previously yellow, now green on the next street light.

“I’ve always thought that you were the best thing that has ever happened to me, you know? It’s a really cliché thing to say, but where would I be if I hadn’t met you?” Truly, this was a serious statement, there were so many things that have happened in your life in which you just felt so, lost. Lost and afraid. Yet, Jimin was there, to redirect you to the right path and always bring up the “you’re not alone” mindset. “Who knows when I would’ve given up trying to stand up, if you weren’t there to pick me up and remind me it’s okay to fall, that bruises will heal?”

“For all these years, I was nothing else but content with being in love with you”, you stated, immense amount of courage washing over your body in a matter of moments. With the way Jimin attentively listened to every vowel and consonant that rolled off your tongue, you chose to pick words carefully, taking time to find perfect terms for description.

“I fell in love with the special way you sing when you think no one is listening, or the foolish way you drag vowels when we sing together. How your eyes turn into thin lines while truthfully laughing, or how you take into account every little detail before creating an opinion of something. How considerate and understanding you are, wanting to hear everyone’s thoughts before making a decision. Your 6th sense of identifying what’s wrong in a of a quick snap of fingers. Gosh I-”

There were so many little, but also big things that made Jimin this whole lovable and divine creature. And really, you were about to continue on for days, only if the speech wasn’t rudely interrupted by -

Jimin’s lips on yours.

“As much as I’d like to hear more of my great qualities, kissing you seems so much more attractive to me”

“Yeah? But I was spilling my heart out to you and you interrupted me, that’s rude-”  

“But you love this rude boy”

“Yeah I do”

“That’s cute”

“Say it back you coward”

“I love you, I always have and I always will”

AN: So I was supposed to release this for Jimins birthday but wasn’t satisfied with it so I edited it and released it today (way too late fk),,,,,, anyway I had something else in preparation but that kind of flopped so,,,, we aint releasing that lol,,, see you guys next time, ily!

#jimin #park jimin #jimin scenario #jimin fluff #jimin fanfiction #jimin imagine #bts scenario #bts fluff #bts fanfiction #bts imagine #kpop fluff #kpop scenario #kpop fanfiction #kpop imagine #kim namjoon #namjoon #rm #kim seokjin #seokjin #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope #kim taehyung #taehyung #v #jeon jungkook #jungkook

[vio1315]

Copy and pasting what I sent to my friend this morning about a dream I had

(Took me 50 minutes to write apparently ha)

” I had a dream with you, oh myy goodness. It was so stupid detailed So I got a call from the job who fired me and they were willing to rehire me, and you decided to ?? Come with me ?? or something (I don't remember what you wanted to do) But you could drive so we were going separate, and I was right behind you all the wway sown [road near my home]. We had a lot of times where we could have separated or passed, but chose not to and had a good time. [It was summer?? There were palm trees??] (Your car could jump like in Mario Kart despite being a real car, and you kept doing it and I got upset cuz I didn't want you to get pulled over) We stopped at a mall and watched a movie in the theater. I don't remember tons about that, but we used a vending machine afterwards, and there was something important about it. So we continue down [That road], but it's entirely wooded and not at all developed, except for this one building. (Irl it's a little past Taco Bell) And we stop there. I check my phone and see that it's 3PM and I was supposed to be there at 8am. You feel bad but I'm like 'nah, I'll tell them I thought they told me to come in tomorrow?' Even though they didn't even text/call. (At one point I say 'I'll say I thought they meant Renaissance, not medival' to express this

so I ask you if you want to go to the gas station because it has a Taco Bell in it (this was vivid. I had my arm propped up on the pole to the overhang, and was resting my forehead in the crook of it while thinking) And you felt bad for me and were just 'No...' You mentioned that the gas station didn't used to be there like even a month ago, let alone a Subway, it was all woods. And I was like 'weird, I ate at this Subway a bit ago' (and I actually did earlier in the dream, but that's all I remember) (Yeah the dream only called it a Taco Bell once, but it was Subway the rest of the time. Not just in name onl either) And you went to your job interview inside. At this point in time, idk who interviewed you, but it was an?? Animal? But pokemon ish Def legendary vibes (And it cut away to Doug an Scott Walker and us eating at a Subwaay and it was the best thing we'd ever experienced? And it was the Taco Bell gas station, but Subway now and in the middle of a beautiful town. My mom mentioned that there was no Subway there, but she was in our living room, and I don't know if it was even a phonecall or not)

Anyways, so they tell you they wanna hire you like right then and there, and so you start training. There's one other girl with you in the gas station in the Subway segment. It has a few desks and chairs, and the legendary has a teachers pointer while a video plays on an old TV which is mounted above where the Subway and gas station connect. (The Subway has Nothing, no signs/decoration/food, and the gas station does have shelves but they are all empty. Nobody is at eiither but you three. But it's so glossed over I didn't nnotice in dream. Though "I" was still outside.) And you're shown an overhead map of the gas station with surounding woods on  the TV, and its pointed to, and explained that long ago there was a ?? fire or something which destroyed the front of the store (I forget this part exactly) but then not long after a nuke was dropped on it, so the whole building was wiped out, and the surrounding forest took over again before they rebuilt. (The map kept up to date with all this ye) 

WHile this was being explained, irl me/narrator me vaguely wondered at the importance of this kind of training, ultimately deciding it was useful to know the place you work fors history, in case a customer has questions.So you have the job and the legendary just ?? Adopts you. I don't remember how it was decided, or if you had a choice, but you were happy about it. Outside I was stressing about commission stuff and how to balance it with the new-old job, assuming I kept it after such a day 1 blunder. 

Your new mom starts showing you around the house which has replaced the Subway, but also hasn't. Because at one point we're like 'when did this gas station get stain glass windows?' and the two slowly morphed, or grew from each other. It is still refered to as a Subway after this, and /sometimes/ the inside is still the empty Subway. But you follow your new mom outside and around the now cathedral-y building and up some new stairs which lead to a deck and back inside. I'm reflecting on how I even ate at this Subway when it didn't exist a month ago. (I think this happened during training but I forget. They let you and the girl (and I was there for this bit) decide on a logo for the Subway, since they are renting it and so can decide their own details)

And so we're all discussing it, but legendary-mom is like 'no you're right, we have to go in a new direction' and I predicted th one she'd pick, because I swore I saw it at the Subway I ate at back when it wasn't supposed to exist, and I was right, she picked that logo. Dream me is very suspicous. 

 Anyways so you go up the stairs and are shown around. You meet the dad and two other ??? people??? who will be your siblings. Everyone's really cool. You come tell me goodbye, and I'm happy for you, and we discuss life plans and our next meetup a bit. I seem to realize that lying is a sin, so I can't tell my employer I got the day wrong, and I decide to pray about what to do, thinking I'll be fired again. So I leave conflicted. 

You go back with your new family and take pictures of the outside of the place at your new brothers request. You notice the lights turn on inside as it gets darker, and this spooks you for some reason. It's all stain glass though so it looks cool. You see your sibs walking in the hall, casting shadows. The mom says something that you hear. Eventually you decide it's too dark to keep taking pictures and go inside. 

When you do there's a giant glowy portal which looks like a Halloweentown effect kind of. Red is the dominant color though. A giant creature comes out which looks mildly like the X legendary [Xerneas], but real, plain horns and more realistic legs. (But it's blue and glowy and impressive feeling. The horns especially /feel/ glowy. As the lighting gets more intense, they especially look red) Honestly the visuals get crazy weird and reminds me of Thumper a bit.

I think this startles you and you think you're being chased or ?? Anyways you get spooked and skedaddle. I forget how, but you realize there were 3 possible ways to get to that scene, and somehow you're able to play another, where instead of going throgh the front to an interview, you go to the back door where you get adopted faster and so get to bond more with your siblings before this. I forget the bonding scenes but they were really good and you ended up liking them a lot by the time you were done. 

So you're back at the scene where this creature jumps out at you, but this time you notice something off, and see your adoptive mom hanging out, who by now looks veery like this new creature. And you're a little confused, but then you see the creature coming again, but this time it has subtitles, and you realize you're lookin at a TV screen, and you keep trying to look at your new family who is by you, trying to convince you it's Really Real despite how they don't know how to turn off the subtitles. (This all has a playful mood now, like a 7 year old failing at a prank) 

You realize your dad looks a lot like the creature but smaller, and so figure out it's just been them basically. It then cuts to you going to sleep at this new house, and despite its size, you're laying on the ground by the bedroom door (there is a bed right next to you. This whole room, bed included is pink. It has some bows on it) Your new brother is laying by you, and in between you is a tiny doll cradle. In the cradle is an egg the size of your head, pink, and with an actual face. This is your mom. Dream decided this is just who she is now.

You guys discuss stuff but I forget what. You deecide you like being adopted though and are happy. You leave the room, and it plays the scene with the giant creature even though you're not over there, but you notice puppet strings now, and soon it's a photorealistic muppet show (none of my dreams have a realistic aethstetic, they usually appear at least a little bit drawn, so this is especially weird looking. All the muppets are giant) You watch, kind of acting in on it by now, like you get what this is. You figured it out. 

It cuts to a sun mascot who laughs at a groaning audience, as this audience also figured it out. He laughs a really dumb kids show laugh and is like 'don't be mad at us! Now you can rewatch and look for clues!' [I swear to you it’s the Raisin Bran mascot]

Then it cuts to me, Doug and Scott Walker outside of the town-Subway we were in earlier. We're walking around the back. We were discussing how amazing that Subway was, and how it was the best food we'd had in our lives, but now we see the whole town was a computer 3D model (shown by seeing it unrendered on a computer. [a really oldschool computer too] Forget if it appeared that way irl or not while we were walking around it) 

Scott is kindaa laughing but goes 'DANG IT! That was all from my mind! That's why it was so good!' And we all have a good laugh. And that's about where the dream ends

There was the stuff that came before which is majorly blurry. Basically I was following my dad around at a party, and I'd see some woman who was gonna try to stab someone, and I would jump in to stop them way before they could do any harm, and my dad never noticed, though I sometimes needed help 

A lot of times I was a cat at these times, and thinking back to these human memories, in order to help me know how to take down evil cats for my clan (very warrior cats)

Oh yeah, the dream ended with my sitting by a car repair, studying the logo (which I thought sucked) and stressing about going back to the job

#Vio's Personal #Vio's Dreams #The architecture of this dream was so vivid but as per usual everything else was Not

[chibipika]

Oh my god, I’m digging through old files on my backup harddrive and I found this dream from 2011 in which me, @antialiasis, and a baby dragon are on the run from The King of Everything.  It is absolutely batshit and I love it:

Okay, so for some reason I was hanging out with Dragonfree.  What the hell, subconscious?  Why do you always stick my online acquaintances into my dreams?  (I think it’s a side effect of that time in my life where all I had were online friends and the fanfic forum was pretty much my entire life, even though that was like 6 years ago.)  But at least this time it sort of makes sense—I’ve been working on an off on the Ouen dragons piece a lot lately, adding little touches here and there when I’m bored, so people often ask me what it is, so I frequently launch into explanations of, “Oh hey there’s this writer with a cool fanfic, and I’m doing fanart of it.”  “Hey what’s it about?”  “Well, it’s kind of hard to explain the plot because it’s basically an awesome reworking of silly ideas from when she was 12.” “ROFL THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU.” “Erm….yeah.  -_-“

Okay then, random tangent aside I was hanging out with Dragonfree I guess.  No explanation given.  At least my dream self wanted an explanation, though never actually got one.  I was at my home house instead of my school house which makes slightly more sense (If I were European I’d sooner visit the US East coast/NY area than the friggin Midwest.)

Kay, I swear the plot was awesomely detailed and amazing but now it is starting to sound really silly and I’m not sure why I’m writing it down. Dangit.  It started out like...pretty mediocre at my house (or what was supposed to be my house but looked nothing like it, what.)  I think there was some subplot involving something going wrong with her website (some of the layouts weren’t working which was apparently a sign of someone currently stealing things from it?  What??? Also one of the styles was really cool and best described as a matrix Articuno.  YES.)  I dunno. And then there was a hilarious part where my sister walked though the kitchen into the computer room and said something like “When did Beth get here?”  And I’m like “Wtf, that’s not Beth.”  But then I walked into the room and it was. (So now Beth was somehow at my house too?  How did all these people get here?)  Dragonfree was in fact back in the kitchen on the computer that was for some reason there (no, not my laptop…a random desktop in the kitchen), and Beth did not appear for the entire rest of the dream. *shrug*  Though amusingly at this point I wondered, “Hey since this isn’t the internet, should I call you Dragonfree or by your real name?”  but never actually asked it.  So I went the whole dream without addressing her by any name (not as weird as it sounds—I don’t use people’s names often.)

But all of this random crap quickly derailed into something involving DRAGONS HOLY CRAP.  Okay, so I actually can’t remember how the dragons plotline started dang.  I think there were like, different types of dragons (one for each element?  This was completely unrelated to Pokémon, however. In fact, I don’t think anything Pokémon ever came up, other than that random bit about her site.  I don’t have Pokémon dreams often.  What the hell, subconscious.)  I think we had the earth dragon or something except I guess it was a baby.  And then like, the queen of the world ordered the dragons (she had a lot of them I think) to kill people, except each dragon’s power was only effective on certain people, and the Earth dragon was supposed to kill us.  I think I ran and hid in a bush (yeah…because that would save me from the elemental dragon…) but since the Earth dragon was just a baby its power didn’t kill us (and I was confused about why the other dragons’ attacks didn’t hurt because I didn’t know about the whole only-effective-on-certain-people thing).  So then I emerged from my hiding place and I think a lot of time had gone by because I saw the events in a slow, limited-animation cutscene type thing (hey…sorta like that game concept art my group’s been planning.)  Well the earth dragon was now an adult.  I met up with Dragonfree at some sort of dessert table where a servant was putting together sweets for the king.  Things like chocolate covered pretzels and bananas. I guess I felt like trolling the king or something, so I stole one of the chocolate bananas, and then we ended up having the guards sent after us (yeah, way to go dream self.)  We hopped on a train (like an old style steam engine) except it was rather small, and intended for little kids.  Well lo and behold my youngest sister was there.  We rode on the train for a bit until my sister climbed on top to check something and was doing it all very not-carefully like someone who has totally climbed on top of a train and started opening hatches a hundred times in their life.  Well something went wrong and then she fell off and got tangled in some vines and then the train tried to go through an insanely small tunnel and started shrinking, so we had to get off.  And then we found the earth dragon!  Except he was a baby again OKAY THEN.

(Thus far there hasn’t been much dialogue only because I can’t remember it.  Everyone was actually talking a lot more than this implies. They weren’t all just standing there.) Also I think I spent most of the dream wondering when Dragonfree was going to go back home.  Because “oh yeah we’re on adventure and running for our lives, but hey please don’t leave in the middle of all this I wanna hang out some more.” Uh huh.  This makes even less sense when you consider that there are no countries and the king of everything is after us.

Well this time the queen was there with the guards so we ran away into this sort of maze of stairs vaguely like a kids’ play area except kind of more serious business.  Some of the stairs were in fact escalators that were broken down, and others were so small that we had to slide down then and we were doing pretty good at avoiding the guards.  We all regrouped and figured out a way onto the third floor, at which point we were feeling pretty clever, but then WE RAN INTO THE QUEEN OH SNAP.  But she was actually on our side the whole time! I think this made more sense in the dream (maybe she knew the earth dragon wouldn’t kill us with its attack? But what about all the people killed by the king’s fire dragon?)  Well she did something to the stair area to prevent the guards from getting through while she made a deal with us.  So then we had the queen with us, yay?

We were now heading up a mountain!  I have no idea what we were looking for at the top.  Except first we had to go though some sort of summer-camp type area, where they made us go though inspection (okay?)  This involved pushing us under streams of water which I thought were going to be freezing but were actually kind of warm.  Kay then.  During the next part we were all in a building (at the camp I guess) and a bunch of the campers were watching tv. At this point I thought to myself “Hey it’s weird how this dream is still continuing even though I’m awake.” WHAT?  So I thought this part was real, but I was still dreaming it…even though it was real?  Now, there have been times I’ve been able to continue a dream while awake and have it actually fit in the dream, as opposed to the lame crap you usually try to add to a dream shortly after awakening until you realize “wait my logic works now and this is stupid.”  But anyways…I think around this point was I finally going to ask Dragonfree, “Hey we’ve been running all over a crazy kingdom all day and I’m still not sure what to call you since this isn’t the internet and all.”  But at that point I woke up.  Well…damn.  I mean, it’s better than when you have a dream end at a super-suspenseful point (since we were kind of just wasting time at a camp and I don’t even think the earth dragon was with us anymore).  But still I felt the need to go run and grab my laptop and start writing all this down and highly confusing my roommates in the process.

And holy crap LOOK HOW MUCH I WROTE IN HALF AN HOUR.  Why can’t I write my fic this fast?

#dreams #I like how I spent an entire paragraph justifying why it was totally Not Weird that Dragonfree was in a dream of mine #we had only just started chatting on IM and I was Super Paranoid about ruining my chances to be friends with senpai #ah 2011... :P

[choccos-database]

Browsing TV Tropes for tropes that line up with Project: Proclo (still a WIP)

!!!DEFINITELY HAS UNCENSORED SPOILERS!!!

Aerith and Bob: April and Ida compared to about every other main character. April’s name is even Earth-specific, considering it’s one of the months of the Earthean year. Then, we have all the rest of the characters: Skatra, Sarlife, Eyn, and Pillia, for examle.

Ambiguous Gender: Doc’s gender has never been specified. In most cases, they’ve been referred to as “he” and “they”. Similarly, Vee and Odell also aren’t male or female, either. (By the way, I hope I’m doing this right. If I’m not, please lemme know!)

Badass Bookworm: April leans more towards being more of the brains than brawn, but that doesn’t stop her from her physical ability.

Badass Longcoat: Eyn and Mr Skatra are hardly seen without one. Doc also manages to pull this off, even with a simple doctor’s coat.

Bastard Bastard: Mr Skatra’s a bit of a douche. It also just so happens that his parents were never married, either.

Big, Thin, Short Trio: Matro, April, and Pillia, and in that order. Wyra, Doc, and Ida fit here, as well.

Boomerang Bigot: Doc believes that robotic life is inferior to organic life, despite being an android themselves, and continuously building devices and modifications to help robots experience what organic life experiences.

Catchphrase: Farqua’s “[any object, but most often] screws in my ports”

Cute Bruiser: April’s small, but can really kick robot butt! Wyra can fit here, too. She’s definitely not intimidating to look at, but you don’t wanna mess with her.

Dark Action Girl: Eyn’s on what you’d consider the bad side. And she’s a girl that’s all about action and beating stuff up.

Dead All Along: April pretty much died before she was a cyborg.

Deadly Doctor: Doc doesn’t fight often, but when they do, you oughta be careful. They may know things you don’t.

Deadpan Snarker: Doc is especially prone to sarcasm.

Dr. Jerk: Doc’s pretty rude to pretty much everyone that isn’t Wyra. They also have a soft spot for kids, so they’re not rude to them, either (except April)

Dude Looks Like a Lady: Farqua’s got a very traditionally feminine look. His long lashes, rosy cheeks, and his bit of a curvaceous figure makes him fall under this trope.

Eaten Alive: [SPOILERS] Happens after Pillia gets injected with eggs from these short-lived yet fast-growing creatures that eat her from the inside out. For better or for worse, she survives this, even after a great deal of damage.

Embarrassing Nickname: Doc gets nicknamed “Bilby-doc” by April. They absolutely hate it.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Mr Skatra is a loving father to Eyn. [SPOILERS] And though what Doc’s doing may sound really heartless, they’re doing it because of a huge dilemma they had to make. They care very deeply for everyone in the building, especially the other doctor bots and creatures that work with them that they consider as family.

Family-Unfriendly Violence: Thankfully, a majority of the characters, especially involved in fighting, are machine, or at least part machine, otherwise, the comic would’ve been strictly for mature audiences. Not to mention, Farqua’s dismemberment especially wouldn’t have been able to work out.

Fantastic Drug: The effect chips that robots take.

Fantastic Racism: Farqua is very vocal about his hatered towards specifically humans, and goes as far as to telling April that she’s “pretty cool for a human.”

Four-Man Band: The four “rooftop robots” in the main cast: Doc’s the “Smart Guy,” (clearly), Matro’s the “Butt-Monkey,” Wyra’s the “Casanova-Wannabe,” and weirdly enough, Farqua’s the “Only Sane Man” of the bunch. I guess, his whole “ARE YA ACTUALLY STUPID?!” type of lines gets him this place.

Future Slang: Of course, it exists in year X766, light-years away from planet Earth.

Hair-Trigger Temper: Even the slightest things get Farqua totally ticked off.

Heel-Face Turn: [SPOILERS] Despite being an enemy in the first part, Farqua sides with April and co, after some sort of rehabilitation. Doc & Wyra would count here, but the difference between them and Farqua is Doc & Wyra were fighting for the same cause as April the entire time.

Idiot Hair: Check out Mr Skatra’s “stupid hair antennae.”

Intergenerational Friendship: Matro’s considered both a father-figure and a close friend to Pillia.

Interspecies Romance: Near the beginning of the story, Eyn, an android, hints to have a slight crush on Pillia, an alien.

Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Each Mr Skatra, Eyn, Farqua, and Doc. Skatra’s a loving dad and extremely family-oriented and Eyn will do anything to make a friend. Doc’s clearly still got a lot of care and consideration in them, while still being rude from time to time. And once you get to know Farqua better, it turns out he’s a real sweetheart.

Lady Looks Like a Dude: Eyn’s very tomboyish and she’s aware she comes across looking and acting more typically masculine. This is supposedly because she likes to dress up as her favourite character who is a typically masculine guy.

Pardon My Klingon: "Gozzuck,” “splubber,” “schtutt,” “xuelk,” and “chtidrat.” They’re all completely fictional.

Plucky Girl: Pillia, in most cases. For example, she’s literally tried defending herself from aggressive robots with a small shank. Wyra can fit here, too.

Punny Name: Some characters, more clear than others. April Dejonas' a protagonist. Matro Sivastes does metro services. Farqua Pells is kind of ironic (fuck apples). Now here are the reverses: Abarran Skatra - you’ll get something close to “scatterbrain.” Pillia Katru’s design inspiration’s from a caterpillar of some sort. Dr Sarlife Aufel’s pun is a bit more vague: “apples are life.” 

Really 700 Years Old: A lot of the service robots that live in the building are obsolete models that have existed for 30 and longer. Some of them are well over 100, but are still depicted as to being in their, say, 30s.

Real Men Wear Pink: Farqua’s kept to his more traditionally feminine appearance ever since, even with his macho attitude and his tough-guy voice.

Red Is Heroic: April's the protagonist and she wears a lot of red.

Ridiculously Human Robot: All the androids that live in the home building behave in a way that are scarily human-like. Ida even looks as if she actually IS a human.

Robot Hair: Matro, Doc, Ida, and Wyra are all examples of this.

“Second Law” My Ass! When Matro tells Farqua to override his system to speak the truth over his pre-programmed responses given to him by Mr Skatra.

Sir Swears-a-Lot: Farqua and Doc tend to swear a lot more frequently compared to the rest. This also includes the robot-specific profanity.

Super Strength: Farqua’s claimed to be strong enough to lift up a tree (which is true!) April’s quite strong, herself. But that’s exclusive to just her robotic parts, though. Also considering his old job, Matro’s here too.

The Ditz: Matro’s overconfidence and smugness can cause him to fall under this trope.

The Driver: It’s Matro’s job.

The Engineer: Don’t get me started on this one.

The Quiet One: Avus hardly talks. Ever.

“The Reason You Suck” Speech: April to Mr Skatra. [SPOILERS] April tells him she never asked to die and ever intended ruin his life, and elaborates on that.

The Rival: Eyn is to April.

Token Evil Teammate: When Farqua’s found out to be working for Mr Skatra, April and co. decide to force him to tag along with them to give them directions. So, in a way, he’s a teammate.

Token Human: Out of everyone involved in the main story, Mr Skatra is the only one built 100% out of human flesh and blood. April may count as this, too, since she still considers herself pretty much human enough.

Vitriolic Best Buds: Matro and Doc. Their exchange of dialogue and shared dry humour may sound like they’re on the verge of a broken friendship, but to the both of them it’s just fun banter. Matro and Farqua’s got this, too, but this happens after they start to re-develop their friendship as you get further in the story. And also: Wyra to the three of them.

Weapons of Their Trade: A lot of the robots that get in April’s way are service robots that used to work jobs for people. For example, Farqua. His shovel’s probably his favourite.

Wide-Eyed Idealist: Farqua believes that robots will be considered people one day, but given the context in the world he lives in, it’s probably never going to happen.

#Project: April and friends #TV Tropes #Project: Clonerion #Project: Proclo