#also it's hilarious to me that in both situations it's probably julian who's being the reasonable one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queen-erika-the-songful · 4 years

Note

001 Barbie! xx

As you wish! They’ll mostly be from Barbie movies but I’ll probably include other Barbie media as well

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

I guess it’s obvious, but Erika’s always been #1 in my heart. She’s brave, loyal, and on a personal level got be through a lot of rough times. But if I had to choose another, it would be a tie between Starlight (Barbie of Para-Den) and Mariposa.

Least Favorite character:

Probably Ryan from Life in the Dreamhouse. He just won’t shut up about how much Ken sucks and how cool he is and how he’ll steal Barbie away. At least most of Raquelle’s shenanigans were about proving she was better than Barbie in general, not just as a romantic partner. Plus she was way funnier and *gasp* showed remorse every once in a while.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

1. Every combo of the Princess and the Pauper OT4 (Julian x Anneliese x Erika x Dominick) because they all work so no you can’t make me choose!

2. Every combo of the Mariposa OT4 (Willa x Carlos x Mariposa x Catania) because again I ship them all so you can’t make me choose!

3. Starlight x Sal-Lee. I mean it’s a classic “tough girl lets her guard down for this one person” idea that I adore, plus through Starlight Sal-Lee ends up opening up to everyone else as well, meaning she’s taking influence from Starlight. I also think they just have a lot of good chemistry. I wish SLA had it sequel so we could see more of their interactions.

4. Tori x Keira x Liam. I think I actually like this one more than Anneliese x Erika because they get so much more time together onscreen. And omg that time together is just oozing in adorable interactions. The winks, the sly smiles, the gushing, it’s just too cute. I also just think Liam is so sweet with Keira and you can tell from the “Perfect Day” montage and the scene with Tori in the carriage that he really loves Keira’s company. I like to think that Keira ends up casually dating both of them for a while - because she’s a BICON! If you really wanted me to choose just one between them though, sorry Liam, but I’d be Troi x Keira all the way.

5. I’m including Summer x Raquelle here because like I’ve said before I love the chaotic energy they’d have. I think if they ever got together Raquelle’s ambition combined with Summer’s competitive nature would lead into hilarious schemes of proving that there's "obviously" the best couple and Summer getting all defensive if Raquelle’s goals aren’t going her way.

Character I find most attractive:/

I have to admit, I think George (Dreamhouse Adventures) is pretty handsome. I think I just have a thing for men with dark hair and glasses.

Character I would be best friends with:

Oooh, so many to choose from! Okay, if I just pick one it would probably be Marie-Alicia (Alice). We’re a lot alike in some ways, shy about our passions, softspoken but not afraid to throw down, and struggling with confidence issues. I would love to spend calm afternoons with her sitting by the windows in Millicent’s Fashion House, working on my latest videos and musical aspirations while she worked on new designs. And then maybe we’d go for dinner or coffee and treats after!

a random thought:

I’m don’t think I’ll ever be over Barbie Live! In Fairytopia and Barbie LIVE! The Musical being limited releases with no proshots (proshot just means filmed musical/play). I mean come on even BARNEY had a proshot for one of his shows, so why not Barbie too?? Not only would everyone have gotten to see it but it would’ve helped to make back money for the production as well.

An unpopular opinion:

I love ALL Barbie movies and I don't think they "went downhill" after Three Musketeers. Sorry y'all.

My Canon OTP:

Barbie x Ken because I’m basic but I mean can you blame me??? They’re adorable in Life in the Dreamhouse, and I’m actually loving the slowburn in Dreamhouse Adventures despite how overused the trope is. They’re just so comfortable with each other and it’s clear how strong their bond is, even just as friends. Love them.

My Non-canon OTP:

Merliah x Kylie but honestly, you can’t convince me they aren’t canon. I mean come on, Merliah has NO male love interest and Kylie and her are a classic “rivals-to-lovers” trope. They kind of remind of me of Annika and Aidan at the beginning of Magic of Pegasus actually, because those two idiots were really trying to hide any attraction with snark and it just didn’t work. That’s how I see Merliah and Kylie; they pretend to be all tough and dismissive because neither wants to admit they’re actually head over heels. Plus I mean Kylie almost DIED to protect Merliah and the whole ocean, could you really blame me for shipping them after that?? Aw man they’re one of the best f/f ships out there.

Most Badass Character:

I’d say of all the badass characters in Barbie, I’ll choose Rosella. She learned how to provide for herself on the island, she can *parkour* (lol), and most importantly she never gave up trying to help Apollonia’s animals no matter what. Even when everything was against her, she stood up for what she knew was right. Also, she never said one bad word against Luciana. I know that may not seem like much but too many movies with love triangles pit the women against each other and I’m just not fond of that unless one of them is supposed to be really nasty or villanous.

Most Epic Villain:

I’m going with Preminger because he honestly scares me. Similar to someone like Adagio Dazzle, he’s almost always one step ahead and easily molds the situation to fit his needs. Every time a wrench is thrown into his plans, he finds a way to adapt and continue being the one in control. He’s undoubtedly clever and cunning.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

i know I’ve said this before but UGH Kara/Super Sparkle x Wes Rivers. I don’t care if he’s supposed to be her “Lois Lane”, he’s a wannabe newshound who exposed her identity without a second thought to boost traffic to his blog. That is the NUMBER ONE thing you do not do to a superhero because it can and WILL endanger not only the life of the hero herself but also anyone she knows. He’s not a journalist, he’s just a one-man papparazzi with a phone instead of a camera. Absolute worst Barbie movie love interest.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Barbie in Puppy Chase. First, she brings the puppies with them to Hawaii for no good reason. Seriously, there’s a lot of work that goes with bringing pets on a plane, so unless it was Chelsea that begged her to take the puppies, which I seriously doubt, there was no reason to waste any time/money on doing that. Secondly, she didn’t reserve a car beforehand. That’s...just common sense. Third, she completely ignored Chelsea every time she said that it was HER trip, for HER competition, and SHE wanted to go straight to the hotel. There was time to see the horses and whatever else, sure, but they should’ve done it AFTER checking in at the hotel. Not to mention, what if their room had been given to someone else because they were no-shows? This movie just made Barbie look like an insensitive idiot and I can’t forgive that.

Favourite Friendship:

One of my favorites is definitely Erika Juno and Princess Olivia. I made a longer post about it a few years ago. I really like how they teach each other and how they grow thanks to each other’s influences.

Character I most identify with:

Right now, Starlight & Erika. I’m jittery, unfocused, and at times really unconfident. At the same time, I also feel trapped inside and music is really my escape from both the world and my own sorrows.

Character I wish I could be:

When I get older, I hope to be like Aunt Millicent - the “cool” aunt that inspires her siblings’ children, like how Millicent inspired Barbie to be a strong woman. I mean I’dl ike to be inspiring to my own children as well, but I chose Aunt Millicent specifically because I’m not sure if I myself will ever be ready to have a child, so right now I’m preparing more for being the best Aunt I can whenever my little sibs have kids.

#asks #barbie movies

22 notes · View notes

jcmorgenstern · 5 years

Text

Rambly not-review of QOAAD

Lol so tumblr is on fire and so am I so here’s Some Thoughts on QOAAD, mostly about the not-crispy boy, not as annoying and bitter as I usually am:

Bottom line: CC did right by me, y’all. Whether or not she did right by everyone else I can’t really say, but half of the time reading this book I felt she was catering to me personally, and y’all know how esoteric ‘catering to me personally’ is. There is some Wild Fuckening Shit in this book, and I for the most part loved it. A lot of my old gripes still apply, but tbh? for a kid’s book CC has really delivered some absolute gems and as critical as I often am, I really enjoyed reading this book.

Spoilers for the entire TDA trilogy, especially QOAAD, below.

Okay so for those of y’all who have read the book: let’s just get that whole thing out of the way. Yes she did in fact write three chapters of an AU where Sebastian won, is shacking up with a deeply unhappy Jace, and yes, I did in fact die irl. Like honestly I understand that’s problematic, and that the whole situation was about as fucked up as it gets, but honestly? I don’t give a shit. I was Thriving and even though I had to read Seb’s dumb ass dying again it was totally worth it 10/10.

Also Ash? Dark Jace? Biggest nut.

Basically, my criteria for liking the book were: (1) Ash can’t be a carbon-copy of Sebastian (2) Kieran doesn’t die and gets with Mark/Cristina (3) Diana and Gwyn stay together and (4) Kit and Ty keep being adorable. Bonus points were for (1) Dru and Ash interaction (2) more Dru content in general (3) Aline and Helen (4) that hint of Sebastian content she kept teasing that I never believed would actually materialize and (5) Julian and Emma breaking up so I never had to read another word about their “true love” at age 16 ever again (I’m a bitter asshole).

I honestly expected to get pretty much none of these and I was shocked to get everything except (5) from the list and so much more. So without further ado:

The whole Thule thing was a lot, tbh, starting with Maryse’s execution (I won’t lie, when Sebastian says “I killed my mother for Jace, and now he can return the favor” my dumb ass did in fact squeal out loud in a public bookstore) and ending with Sebastian’s really, really, really bad parenting skills. As a side note, the show must have had an advance copy of the book, because you may recognize the song little Jace sings with Izzy in....whatever episode they go into Jace’s head as the song Maryse sings before she dies. As far as I recall, that hasn’t been mentioned before (as well as the Malachi Configuration) so clearly the show got confused with the book release date. I’m sure that made CC very happy.

Like honestly Thule!Seb is just COHF!Seb taken up to 11, which is honestly a terrifying and hilarious thought, complete with a still-kicking designer clothes fetish and an inability to dream up a setting that isn’t a club. Sebastian’s designer suit fetish never really made much sense to me in terms of his personality--it always seems to remind me that I am, in essence, reading The Draco Trilogy with the names changed. But there are a lot of little details that recall COLS, which is always a plus for me, but also seem to indicate that he’s never really progressed or ‘matured’ beyond that. The return to the club setting as a callback to club in COLS, dressing Jace like a paper doll. While Thule itself is an imaginative setting, Sebastian’s presentation and behavior hasn’t changed at all, which shows that ultimately CC’s view of him is one of being completely static and inhuman.

I always really hated that, but here it works--it gives the impression that even though he’s won and destroyed the world, he’s living in the past, attempting to recreate COLS best he can. That mind-controlling Jace, going for a romantic murder or two with him, and chatting with Clary about how much she hates him is the happiest he’s been, the closest thing to family he can conceive of. I think one of the most fucked up parts of COLS, and one of my favorites, is that the Magic House is a darkly genteel reflection of the warped view of family Valentine has, that Sebastian has symbolically completed.

Valentine’s wardrobe full of clothes he’s bought for Jocelyn for “when she returns,” all with the tags still on, is possibly the most chilling part of the entire book. He views his family--Jocelyn, Jace, Clary, as a thing to accomplish, to control, to collect and arrange in a seemly manner. He truly seems to think, or at least want to believe, that after he’s destroyed the entire downworld and the entire shadowworld government that they can all go play happy families. That his family would want to play happy families with him, or even be anywhere near him. It’s both terrifyingly cruel and self-aware and completely naïve, that he believes he can make his family love him, or at least pretend.

It’s that same mindset that Sebastian inherits--“I will bend him to my will and teach my sister to love me” pretty much sums it up, although he manages to be a bit more petulant about it. Although he seems to emphatically reject Valentine, he’s become Valentine, inherited his sword, his ring, his creepy shrine-to-Jocelyn house and his mindset and view of family. The same entitlement and sense of ownership Valentine displays to Jocelyn (and in a different way, Jace), Sebastian shows to Clary (and again, to Jace).

Valentine never saw his “vision” through, but Sebastian symbolically completes his father’s vision of their family, not as a son but by becoming his father, and Clary her mother. CC emphasizes and repeats this over and over, how Clary looks like her mother and Sebastian like his father, exactly like his father. Sister Magdalena even comments on it (“Why, you look just like your parents,” when Clary expects her to comment on their difference or wonder why Clary is in the company of a murderer). One can suppose that given his feelings towards Valentine and how he always resented Valentine’s lack of approval towards him, Sebastian craves “love” more than anything--or at least, his conception of love, which we all can agree is pretty fucked up. The completion of the “family” is thus probably what Sebastian sees as fulfilling, that control and coercion is as close to love and belonging as he can understand, or that he’s experienced.

There’s a very interesting sense in which in creating the Endarkened and going on a path of world destruction, Sebastian himself loses all sense of self or free will. It always bothered me that Lilith’s blood is used to abnegate free will in the Endarkened when Lilith herself is often interpreted as a symbol of free will (and feminism--that’s a rant for another day). But there is very much a sense that the Battle of Burren is Sebastian’s moral event horizon, that in trying to rape Clary or force all free will out of her and others he cements himself as ultimately irredeemable. I’ve often complained that his motivation for destroying the world is...well, non-existent, but in a sense it reflects an erosion of person-hood, that he is less a person in himself with his own self-directed wants and goals than a shadow or echo of Valentine embracing senseless (demonic?) destruction.

I know I’m going completely off the deep end, but I recently studied Milton and although it seems pretty clear that CC is more a Virgilian than a Miltonist (tbh I really don’t think she’s read Paradise Lost because if she had, she wouldn’t stop quoting it), Milton’s conception of Lucifer is really a prototype here. One reading of Satan in PL is that the personified Sin and Death (his “offspring” so to speak) are really just solipsistic echoes of himself and his hubris, and I think there’s a very interesting sense in which Sebastian could be read in a similar way to Valentine. In many respects, to me, Jonathan represents a sum of Valentine’s greatest sins--bigotry, hatred, cruelty, pride, and really bad use of the experimental method.

I get the impression that CC struggled with Seb’s characterization in COHF, and in large part that’s because he has no character, no motivation beyond destruction and a certain rapaciousness towards Clary. As I’ve derisively said before, wanting to fuck your sister is not a sound core personality motivation for a character. The way he’s written in the books, there’s not a lot of poignancy in his character, and although people do seem to feel sympathy for “green eyed Jonathan” (uwu), he doesn’t really exist any more than Sebastian does. Although CC claims through Clary that Sebastian wants to destroy the world to make it something that can love him, what she misses is that Sebastian in COHF is not really a character but an Endarkened version of himself--a shadow. He doesn’t seem to be much of anything.

Thule is the result of that hollow destruction, an Endarkened shadow of canon, and for that reason it completes COHF in that we truly see what CC means when she says there wasn’t enough good in him left for him to live--what I think she could also mean is that there isn’t enough of Jonathan left, or there never was. Valentine aborts his development (in...many ways: stay tuned for reports from the frontlines of developmental psychopathology, which I am taking) and what’s left is a solipsistic reflection or echo not of Jonathan’s demonic parentage but of his human father. And there’s something understatedly tragic about that cycle coming to a close with Ash, with Sebastian behaving the same way towards his son as his father did to him--with callousness and a desire to exploit. CC explicitly calls this possessive, which is of course a callback to how he treats Clary, but I think he’s more reflecting the father role he inherited from Valentine.

And Ash closes that cycle by killing Sebastian--just as, I would argue, that Sebastian in some sense wanted to kill Valentine. More and more I’ve been leaning towards a reading (and I hope with absolutely no confidence that the show leans towards this reading as well) where Sebastian’s obsession with Clary is at least partly due to the fact that she has done the thing that would symbolically complete him--kill Valentine. Sebastian hasn’t killed Valentine, literally or symbolically, and the cycle repeats; in this way, Ash as a Morgenstern takes more after Clary than he does his father.

Is this edgy, pseudo-academic, piss-poor, completely incoherent bullshit? Absolutely. The point is, god is dead and if I want to compare Paradise Lost, one of the eminent works of the English canon to a YA series based on fanfiction I can. Also, Thule may suck but Sebastian did canonically destroy the world financial system so is he really that bad? (Yes).

#i love a crispy boy #this is seb meta at it's best: rambly incoherent and complete and utter unsupported bullshit #just how we like it here at seb-verlacs!!#anyway uhh #qoaad spoilers #queen of air and darkness spoilers

12 notes · View notes

fireheartblackthorn · 5 years

Text

SPOILER REVIEW OF LORD OF SHADOWS

* This is my second time reading Lord of Shadows

STARTED: 12/01/19 FINISHED: 21/01/19

I have so many feelings, probably too many feelings on this book and I gotta get them off of my chest, holyyyyyy. All I’m saying is that I would sacrifice myself to save the Blackthorn family, they deserve the entire freaking world, I adore this series so much. Honestly one of my favourite series I’ve ever read, it still doesn’t beat TID (Cassie Clare went above and beyond on that trilogy) but its deFINITELY UP THERE. These characters, this plot, everythinggggg about this damn book got me. I have bookmarked and sticky-noted specific parts of the book that hit me right in the feels ( Both gOOD AND BAD EMOTIONS) and here they areeeeee!!

THINGS I LIKED (in particular):

* Christina, Mark and Kieran’s relationship. I was a sucker for Mark and Kieran in lady midnight + was super conflicted about mark falling for christina but woahhhh is it weird to ship them all together?? Lol idc, i still do. They all just fit together, so nicely. Ngl I’m low-key worried about whats going to happen to Kieran, I feel awful for him. Now that he know’s the truth, and he didn’t even testify but he’ still being hunted by the unseelie court, he can’t return to faerie nor can he stay in Idris and he wants things done with Mark. That gets me!!! I love how Christina is able to calm both of these angsty faerie boys ;)

* The low-key (but kinda not even low-key) throwbacks to TID and Will’s generation (JUST ALL OF THE WILL + Jem bits). I love how Clare kept referring to Jessamine in the London Institute, and the small will bits. No character as ever affected me the same way will herondale has, and how Kit was talking about “some idiot called will” who wrote in all the first editions and how Emma was looking at a picture of jem and will together. I feel like i’m dying whenever their relationship is mentioned. When tessa was advising Emma on getting someone to stop loving you, I just realised she was referring to what Will tried to do in TID. :( Alsooo, um how tf is Bridget still alive!!!!!!! She’s actually ancient and I’m confusedddd. When Bridget giggles at the plate of scones + she’s thinking of Sophie and Gideon aw

* Gwyn Ap Nudd! (+ Diana’s relationship) Those two have single-handedly made me believe in love. I love how Gwyn Ap Nudd may be the ancient leader of the wild hunt and yet he’s still a good “man” who shows kindness to Mark, and has honour. I wish everyone was like Gwyn. My favourite part of this freaking book was Gwyn being all cute and shy to Diana when he asks her on a date. Adorable!

* Diana’s back story. She deserves the entire freaking world, I hope she’s able to sort it out with the clave, I don’t want it to be used against her in the future. And I’m so glad she found someone like Gwyn who likes her and doesn’t care that she was born in a man’s body.

* The gayness in this book + the LGBTQ+ representation. We loving raging bisexuals, lesbians, gays, pansexuals + transgender peeps. AND I STAN A WOKE AUTHOR

* Lol all I could think of when kit, ty and livvy went to blackthorn manor was how it was originally the lightwood’s house and thus the worm house. All that was going through my head was HAH ITS THE WORM HOUSE

* Freaking mark + kieran’s language, + post-faerie talk + actions (if that makes sense). Like when Mark was staring distrustfully at the garden gnome, equally parts hilarious and cute

* Emma’s talk, easy-going nature: she reminds me of will lowkey and wow I’M CRYING AGAIN. Her ability to difuse tension in situations and her wit made me enjoy this book so much more. Maybe she even reminds Jem of his parabatai aw.

* TIBERIUS BLACKTHORN AND CHRISTOPHER HERONDALE AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE END

* The poetry that was Julian’s feelings and words towards Emma. It was beautiful, and he’s such a soft boi. Especially when he talked about how they were made from the same stardust, how freaking adorable!!

THINGS I DISLIKED:

* How believable it was that the cohort was plausible and full of facists and bigots, I bloody hated Zara Dearborn (to the point of swearing at my book). Its too realistic that a group like that can exist within the nephilim, and how it can exist in the real world. I read fantasy books to escape reality, and suddenly I feel so attacked by these characters. If I wanted this bullcrap I’d just read the news omg. (how do you make me feel this way cassandra)

* People (namely bridget) being rude to my girl Dru about her weight, she cute and curvy

* Dru lying to Jamie about her age, well not exactly lying but hiding it from him. I kind of just wish she had let him know who she was. I mean I get that she wants to be treated like an older person and not as a baby but ughhhh.

* FREAKING LIVVY DYING OFC AND PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINE LIKE THAT. I knew this part was coming and yet I still sobbed and dampened the pages with my freaking tears. I know that it was in Livvy’s nature to stand up and go to help her brother like that, but it doesn’t make it any better. Ty’s reaction as well, after he just agreed to be her parabatai. It was just after their family got reunited also :(. It kills me that to Julian its like he’s lost his own daughter, his baby sister and when he was cradling her and calling out for her to wake up :((((((( But then I think of how Livvy said that legend has it, when the clock chimes the hour the gates of heaven open for a moment. Livvy died when the clock chimed the hour + now I know that she’s up there at peace

* The fact that at the ending, Kit still doesn’t know what’s happened to Livvy, he just thinks something bad has happened in the chamber

* NOW THAT I’M REREADIng I know that Julian thinking about future life watching everyone growing up with Emma by his side is not gonna happen bc livvy is dead and it cuts my heart out at the hope he has that his family will be happy and reunited and safe

* I thought at first that Christina was a pretty boring character, kind of there to be able to patch up the loose ends and hold the team together but in hindsight, she’s pretty freaking incredible and I think this book more so shows that off and her qualities, than Lady Midnight does. It's a freaking talent to be that understanding and empathetic, her ability to do that beyondddd impressed and shook, kind of like how Keiran is feeling about her

* I don’t like hOW MUCH I FEEL sorry for Malcolm, He was so warped and caught up in his love, his need for vengeance, his hate and grief to be able to mourn Annabel, let go of the past and move on. I mean I’d have a pretty tough time doing that too but how his love for her eventually killed him was so awful. I couldn’t believe it the first time I read that part.

* How Annabel killed Robert, his death was like meh at first, okay. But at the same time, Alec’s reaction broke my heart + he was going to help Emma and Julian!! I don’t know if he had the time to start preparing for her exile but probably not and now the next inquisitor probably won’t react the same way

STILL 5/5 OVERALL, I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH.

#lord of shadows #this v long #lord of shadows review #book review #LoS #lady midnight #the dark artifices #TDA #LoS spoilers #QOAAD #cassandra clare #tda review #blackthorns #goodreads #julian x emma #shadowhunters #fuck you zara Dearborn

2 notes · View notes

brinnanza · 6 years

Note

Now for something completely different! Your favorite Star Trek character for the meme!

first of all how very fucking dare you make me choose amongst my children

second of all, if I were to actually pick a fave in terms of like, time spent thinking about them, it would probably be julian bashir but also I feel like a good 80% of my trek blogging is julian bashir headcanons so.

idk here’s bones, my fave star trek grump

Headcanon A: realistic

He and Spock get into a knock down, drag out fight of an argument (relatively speaking anyway) approximately once a week. It’s 60% just to annoy each other and 40% to fuck with the rest of the crew because they’re both horrible trolls. When they do actually properly fight (because they’re actually angry - or because Bones is actually angry, something he, at least, will /admit to/), it’s not loud at all and the only reason anyone can tell is because Bones gets approximately 500% more aggressive about dragging crew members who’ve been avoiding him into sick bay for their physicals. (Once when Bones and Spock were in a particularly nasty snit, Bones marched right onto the bridge and hauled Jim out by the ear mid-sentence.)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Bones and Scotty built a still in the bathroom between their quarters and they regularly compete to see who can create The Worst Alcohol (meaning the highest proof, with bonus points if it gets you fucked up in other ways). Bones’s banana bag equivalent is the envy of the entire ship, but he steadfastly refuses to give it out except in extreme emergency situations.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

If given the choice between testing an experimental drug or medical procedure on himself or letting someone die, he will inject himself 100% of the time. Since he’s usually the one coming up with brand new medications, he knows the risks, knows that one of these days his number will come up. Better him, Bones thinks, than the person he’s trying to save. To do nothing betrays the oath he took as a doctor and every principle he stands for as a person.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

This isn’t unrealistic at all, but Christine Chapel is the de facto CMO on the Enterprise, and literally everyone except Bones knows it. Bones has no idea how much work he doesn’t have to do thanks to Christine being extremely good at her job. She can talk almost anyone into showing up for their physical (she leans on Bones’s reputation and it doesn’t work on Jim, but her success rate is pretty high). Obviously Bones knows she’s extremely capable, but he’s unaware of the extent of what she gets done.

#tos #I love my grumpy son #*hands*#here's this #Anonymous

5 notes · View notes

toobadforthefacts · 7 years

Text

Louis, Harry, Family and Friends’ Denials of Larry (as a Whole or as a Theory) and Confirmation of Elounor

(@seirral4) [Updated 13/08/2017]

[DISCLAIMER: this post has been recreated due to 1arry-isnt-rea1′s deactivation. Everything has been compiled and written by them, except when stated otherwise: the version retrieved was old, so some debunks went missing, and the situation needed to be mended. Also some links were updated, some denials reorganized, and some lexicon actualized: Larry Shippers --> Larries to avoid confusion. Give credit when you share some else’s contents.]

—————————————————————————————————

Larries seem to think Harry and Louis have not denied Larry. They have, yet Larries still make up excuses for it.

I wanted to make a post showing all family or friends who have denied Larry at some point. This post is not only Larry denials, but confirmations of Elounor or denials of a theory of Larry (i.e. tattoos and such).

I never see people talk about most of these denials.

Guess why?

Like I have always said, Larries only see what they want to. They ignore everything that disproves or doesn’t support their ship.

I can also hear every Larrie scream, “THEY DIDN’T SAY ‘LARRY ISN’T REAL’ THOUGH."

That is a USELESS excuse. They do not need to say those three words to convey the same message. If that is your excuse for everything you will see in this post, you are helpless and clueless. Do not bother reading.

Lastly, if you are a Larrie and consider anyone in this post "irrelevant,” just remind yourself that you believe day old Twitter accounts who claim to have seen Larry with no proof. Everyone in this post has met the boys multiple times, is a good friend of the boys, or are family members. Not random people behind a screen who can easily make up lies.

[Image and video heavy.]

***Quick Note: I will post old screenshots if the reply was hard to find on my iPhone version of Twitter. Sometimes it just shows his or her tweet (which I would specifically search for) but not the original tweet he or she had replied to, then I will also post a screenshot on the current version of Twitter to show it is real. If the current version of Twitter shows both the fan’s tweet and his or her reply, I will only post that.

—————————————————————————————————

Stanley Lucas

Stanley had replied to Louis’ tweet about Eleanor and his anniversary. Shortly after that, Stanley’s started replying to Larries who were spamming and harassing him with tweets talking about how Larry is real and Elounor is fake.

He started by just replying with “weird” to fans. Then he tweeted the following picture:

This tweet has been deleted. If you are doubting whether or not it’s real, go type in his tweet and @ name. There are tons of quoted tweets from that day on that time. It was real.

He then tweeted the following:

He continued to reply to many fans about different things. I’m only showing the ones about Larry or Elounor. In the following screenshot, you will see the fan’s question and his answer.

Next, the screenshot is of the current version of Twitter. You can look up this tweet yourself to verify that it is real.

He continued on and on. Here is yet another.

Once again, here is the screenshot from the current version of twitter.

The Larries really did harass him that day. He continues on.

Love how he called the theory of Larry “rubbish.” Now here is the screenshot form the current version of Twitter.

Then one fucking idiot said believing in Larry was an opinion, and Stan was wrong even though he has known Louis for years. He replied to her as well.

Now the current screenshot.

One again, he replied to a Larrie. This time it included Harry.

I could not find the tweet to take a current screenshot when I searched for it. I didn’t scroll through his account. I don’t know if it was deleted or not, but it was real. There are many quoted tweets from it on the same day and time.

In the next one, he tells a Larrie how crazy her theory is.

Then he continues to tell Larries that Louis is straight because they are STILL NOT GETTING IT.

Once again, he sets Larries straight on the difference between a fact and an opinion.

—————————————————————————————————

Max Hurd

Max Hurd is one of Eleanor’s best friends. As far as I can tell, she has known him before she met Louis or around the same time.

On September 9, 2012, a Larrie harassed him by calling Eleanor a beard. He had the following conversation with them.

If you don’t believe this happened, feel free to search up the tweets. They are still there and ver underrated. Almost no one even noticed this conversation.

Next one. On February 27, 2014, Max again replied to a Larrie who assumed Eleanor was his girlfriend. Apparently, if you are a girl and a boy, you can’t be friends without people thinking you’re fucking. He replied with this:

Again, this got barely any attention. I wonder why. Once again, feel free to search up the tweets. They are still there.

Now let’s move on to Max’s Instagram comments. I will first post a screenshot of the picture the comments are located on, so those who want to look them up themselves can. Then I will post a screenshot of the comment he replied to and his reply.

Yes, this is his real Instagram. He has had it forever, and he is constantly uploading new pictures.

These screenshots confirm Elounor more than deny Larry, but just wait, those are coming up.

I like how he added the, “Deluded, weird, blocked,” at the end there.

These are really funny to me because the whole Gretchen and Tina thing is beyond hilarious.

Anyways, again, he does not have to say “Larry isn’t real” to tell you the same thing. Also, he only confirms Elounor once again. How many times has he done that so far?

“I am not going to answer any of your larry bullshit because I actually cannot get my head around how screwed up and cruel you are to accuse my friend of being hired to be someone’s girlfriend.”

“You need to open your eyes and stop seeing what you want to see and realize what is actually there. Which is a long term relationship between two people who love each other."

”…so piece together some weird fantasy for yourself"

Larries, look up the word fantasy if you don’t understand how this is a denial.

Next.

All of these started because Larries continued to harass Max about “Gretchen” and “Tina” even though he has already addressed it.

Max comments “Y'all need Jesus,” so a Larry Shipper comments, “Max needs to get dick out his ass and be more mature and Jesus isn’t real so no one needs him.”

Max then replies with, “Neither is 'Larry’ so you need to find a different obsession to waste your life on.”

DID YOU READ THAT, LARRiES? He just told you Larry isn’t real without using those words. Stop using your bullshit excuse of needing those three words in the same order.

Last one, finally.

Before anyone loses their shit, he did mentioned the girl again and apologized for the “Die in a hole you fucking peasant” part.

Anyways, he again does not say the exact words, “Larry isn’t real” but I think, “something that is as real as the tooth fairy” is descriptive enough for Larries to get the point.

—————————————————————————————————

Sasha Malik

—————————————————————————————————

Julian Bunetta

Julian is one of the boys’ songwriters and producers.

No, he does NOT work for Modest. He would work under the label.

Yes, this is his twitter.

No, he is not verified, but the boys have mentioned him in tweets before.

In the first screenshot, a fan is annoying Julian with questions as to whether Larry is real or not. He replied:

This is a perfect example of something I said at the beginning of the post.

No, he did not say “Larry isn’t real”, however he said it in a different way. You guys do realize what the word “imaginary” means, correct?

Also, if Larry was real, he would not have responded. He has no obligation to reply to fans on Twitter. He gets tons of questions, especially when he begins answering many fans at once. He did NOT have to answer, but he choose to. I wonder why.

This tweet is still there, you can look it up if you would like.

—————————————————————————————————

Simon Jones of Hackford Jones PR

I could not find exactly what Simon’s job title is. He definitely works at HJPR, he might even own it since his last name is in the company’s name. Regardless, his role at the company is a very important one. On July 19, 2014 he tweeted this:

I wanted to verify the fact that this company represents One Direction. The screenshot below is from their website. I highlighted the part that says they do in fact represent the boys.

No, this is not a denial of Elounor or Larry, but it is a denial that the company has even purposely fabricated a relationship. That would include Elounor, Zerrie, Sophiam, Haylor, and so on.

Also, I found this on their website. It’s a testimonial from Modest Management.

—————————————————————————————————

Fizzy’s Best Friend, Tasha

This happened only a few days ago, feel free to look it up. It is real.

Before you start questioning if this account is real, it is. Her Ask in linked to her Instagram, which Fizzy follows.

If you are a Larrie, before you lose your shit, she later said she knew Larry didn’t actually destroy their friendship. However, it still did affect it.

I don’t want to hear how Fizzy’s best friend wouldn’t know anything. My best friend knows everything about my life. When I am talking about shit that pisses me off, she is there to listen. I’m sure it is the same way with Fizzy.

—————————————————————————————————

Gemma Styles

No, this is not a direct denial. However, I do think it is telling of what Gemma thinks of Larry. Remember, she did not need to reply to this. She has fans tweeting her tons of things, and she is not obligated to reply to any of it. She choose to reply to this, and it was probably to deny the ridiculous rumor that she was “hinting” Larry was real. Notice how all their proof is assumptions that they believe are hints?

[Added Aug 2017]

But Larries can’t have nice things, so it was a matter of time really for Gemma to end up denying Larry. It was on Tumblr after she received this ask:

It’s been since then deleted, but that doesn’t take her words back. People that believe in Larry are a WASTE.

The next one is not a proper Larry denial, but more like the first example. Around week after Freddie Tomlinson was born Gemma liked this on IG:

Larries immediately took it as a sign, claimed she was shading “babygate,” and that it meant the denial of Freddie being Louis’ son was coming SOON (yeah, they always say that.) Of course nothing happened, and asked to clarify Gemma said this:

The mentality that implies that everything is connected to the thing that matters to them is actually a trait of conspiracy theorists’ mentality. Anyway, as we all know, “babygate” didn’t “end”, thus this became another sort of Larry denial, and proof that the family of the boys are pretty aware of how Larries work. She got to hear a couple of more complaints about it.

More recently, in 2016, Gemma posted a picture of a graffiti on IG:

Even if in the graffiti both human forms have blue eyes, some Larries jumped in, claiming that it proved Larry. Again, everything is about them and Larry, even if it’s Gemma’s IG and she has, like, HER OWN LIFE.

Yes. See the green and blue hearts so characteristic of the larriedom, and Gemma’s reaction. Sadly, instead of backing off at her reply that the post had nothing to do with Larry, they went after her and called her ableist, just because she dared to deny Larry. One moment they love you, the next one they hate you.

There’s no winning with these people. All we can do is wonder when the next denial will come.

—————————————————————————————————

Keith Tomlinson

Before you begin questioning if his account is real, it is. No, Louis does not follow him. However, other family members do, and he has posted never before seen pictures of Louis and himself.

I really don’t give a shit if you don’t consider him as Louis’ real grandfather anymore just because he was only his grandfather by marriage. Louis grew up with him. You don’t need to be related by blood to consider someone as family, that’s just fucking stupid.

Louis visits him often. He denies Larry. Get the fuck over it. Stop making excuses for it.

Remember, this post is of denials of Larry and confirmations of Elounor. Keith confirmed Eleanor with the very obvious, “Goodnight disbelievers” to all the Larries out there.

Go ahead, search it up to verify it’s real if you need to.

This next one is not a denial of Larry or a confirmation of Elounor, however, I thought I would add it in here to show the frustration with Larries.

Keith has absolutely no chill with Larries. (Personally, I think it was not necessary, but I think it’s just really frustrating to family and friend of especially Louis.)

Again, search it up on Twitter to verify it is real.

Keith literally has zero chill.

[Added: Feb, 2017.]

Keith passed away early 2016. He had a last quarrel with a Larrie who was spamming a tweet of Harry about a terrorist attack with “Larry is real:”

Keith wasn’t here for the disrespect and lack of boundaries. And neither should you.

—————————————————————————————————

Lottie Tomlinson

It isn’t even funny anymore. I honestly don’t know why some Larries continue to harass Lottie.

There was so much drama in the fandom when this happened, oh my gosh. Eleanor also commented, but we are just focusing on Lottie.

Yes, I know this is not a direct denial of Larry. however, like I said before, they do not need to say, “Larry isn’t real” to portray the same message.

I think “SHUT UP YOU DELUDED F R E A K S” and “Sit down and shut up because you people do not know A THING” will suffice. Next.

This screenshot is from when Lottie accidentally favorited a gif of Harry and Louis with the caption, “boyfriends”.

Of course, all the Larries lost their shit and seemed to have completely forgotten about the time she called them deluded freaks.

Lottie quickly un-favorited it and tweeted that. She deleted the tweet minutes after she posted it. You can search up the tweet and see a bunch of quoted tweets on the same day and time to verify it was real.

No, this isn’t a denial. However, she did tell Larries to go away and she admitted it was a mistake.

—————————————————————————————————

Fizzy Tomlinson

The first one I have is from when Fizzy did a Twitcam with her friend.

Fizzy did a twitcam in June of 2012. During it, she talks about Louis’ sexuality.

She says, “I don’t say it’s a bad thing to be gay. It’s just kind of rude to me because I know he’s not gay, and you’re all just like ‘No, your brother’s gay.’ Like, no he isn’t. Shut up.”

She then reads a comment that says, “Louis is clearly gay,” to which she replies, “He has a girlfriend!” (It is cut off).

You can watch it HERE.

Yes, I know. She only said he isn’t gay, and I can hear Larries say, “He doesn’t have to be gay for Larry to be real.” You are right.

However, Fizzy did confirm his relationship with Eleanor. I do know one can have a girlfriend, yet still be interested in men too. However, one cannot be in a relationship with his best friend and girlfriend at the same time.

Next.

I went through Fizzy’s Ask.FM. I did not scroll all the way to her very first answer because I found plenty before than. There are tons, and some of them (about Eleanor specifically) I did not add because it was not directly about Elounor or Larry.

Keep in mind. Fizzy gets tons of questions all the time. It’s her choice on which ones she wants to reply to. She clearly wanted to reply to this for a reason.

Let’s begin the long list of answers. They are not exactly in order.

The link was to the clip where Harry grabs Louis and kisses him on the cheek during an interview. Fizzy replied with, “Do you think if he was being serious he would do that in the middle of an interview?”

“Larry isn’t real but ship what you want,” THERE YOU GO LARRIES. THERE ARE THE THREE WORDS YOU ACTUALLY DON’T WANT TO HEAR.

This is something I always say when family members or friends deny Larry. It is ridiculous to say they are lying when they would just avoid answering at all.

“He doesn’t hate you, just your ship.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, Elounor is true love, and Larry is fake,” There you go, once again.

“You just see what you want to see,” HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID THIS? YOU GO, FIZZY!

“If Larry was real, I would ship it but it’s not so I don’t haha"

Well, that was simple.

Simple answer.

There is most likely even more than just these. I only search back a little over a year and a half.

—————————————————————————————————

Niall and Josh

During a Twitcam from over two years ago, Josh was reading comments on the Twitcam he was doing will Niall.

One comment talked about Zayn and Liam’s ship name, which is Ziam. Josh then realized what Larry was. Niall says, "Alright yeah,” with a very dead pan face. They then begin talking about something else. Niall reads a comment that asks if Larry is real. As soon as he reads the comment out loud, he shakes his head and flips his hand as if to show he is annoyed. Josh then says, “I’m pretty sure Larry isn’t real, guys,” while Niall laughs.

I find this funny. This was only a few months after the first bullshit tweets. Niall is clearly like, “Do they not get it…?"

Josh did not even know what "Larry Stylinson” was. Wow! It must be soOOooOOO real.

If you read the comment sections, it is full of Larries who say Niall could have flat out said no, but he didn’t. Honestly, his reaction was telling enough, but I understand where they are coming from.

The whole, “If Larry isn’t read, why haven’t they denied it,” thing, is a different story for a different post I have in the works.

Whether you think Niall’s reaction was a denial or not, Josh denies it too.

You can watch it yourself HERE.—————————————————————————————————

Liam

I LIVE for Liam’s denials of Larry. Let’s begin.

The following picture is an old screenshot. In the current screenshot, it won’t show the tweet Liam replied to. I posted both so you could see what he replied to and see that the tweet is still there. You can still search for the tweet and find it.

The next picture is the current screenshot.

Next.

No, he didn’t deny Larry as a whole, but I don’t want to miss anything. So many people don’t even know most of these things in this post happened.

Next.

Yes, I know screenshots of DMs from either Instagram or Twitter can be faked. I almost never trust any DMs because they are faked quite often.

However, this one was real. The girl who Liam messaged back took a video of his DM and posted it on her Instagram. Her Instagram is now private, but I found someone else who took her video and posted it in their account.

If you are going to say videos like hers can be faked, please show me your receipts. I have NEVER found any. I have had many Larries act like know-it-all-shits and then go ghost when I ask for proof.

The DM is real. Next.

Once again, I would not trust this DM unless the girl had a video, which she did.

The link to the proof that the DM was real is HERE.

Let me explain what happened with this DM because many people were confused. This girl (@rtsophiam) was followed by Liam and Sophia. She had messaged Liam, asking if Larry was real or not. He unfollowed her. He then, being the kind hearted boy he is, re-followed her and messaged her that.

You can go check. She still has her Liam follow and she had it before the DM incident occurred.

Now, I know Larries were only say it was Modest. That will be their excuse for these DMs. Let me remind you of Liam’s tweets the same night this happened.

His tweets sound exactly like Liam. Go look up all of his tweets from October 2, 2014.

Also, notice his tweets about crazy DMs that are either fun, shocking, or strange? Hm. I wonder what DM he is referring to.

Lastly, during an interview, when asked to explain what Larry is, Liam said, “He’s imaginary.”

Again, do I need to write the definition of imaginary for you, Larries?

[Added: Feb, 2017.]

On his solo interview for Attitude Magazine (Sept 2015,) Liam had some words for the Larries, concerning Larry and Louis’ impending parenthood:

“People think of the Louis and Harry thing [that they’re secret lovers,] which is nuts and drives me insane.” The idea of Larry is, according to Liam, “nuts.” But he goes forward and call the Larries a “conspiracy” and a “cult,” telling that people make every gesture [of Louis and Harry] about them being together, and he knows “it’s not true” and it makes him “mad.” He knows “what’s what” [he understands the inner jokes and gestures] but has to hear “all these crazy theories.”

“I get tagged in drawings of Louis and Harry being together.” The 4th wall is broken. Well done, Larries. This is not fandom; this is not support. This is, as Liam says in his comparison, a conspiracy theory: “Imagine you’re the man who lands on the moon and you come back home to hear some people saying you didn’t.” Put yourself in these people’s shoes for once and imagine how it would be having people denying part or the whole of your existence. Liam stated Larry is not real and compared you, Larries, with conspiracists and cult people. He also stated that Louis was happy to become a dad, as he’s been for over a year now. When will you get the cue that your invasiveness is not welcomed?

—————————————————————————————————

[Added: Feb, 2017.]

Zayn

In the interview he gave to the Fader in 2015, Zayn had the chance to talk about some of his experiences in One Direction. The conversation quickly moved to the fans’ culture.

Talking about shipping culture and fan theories Zayn stated:

“There’s no secret relationships going on with any of the band members.” This is a direct quote from Zayn, that established that Larry (or any of the other ships, even those not majorly tinhatted, like his own ship with Liam) is not real. But he goes further and says the fan theories had an effect in the way the boys behave in public: “It’s not funny, and it still continues to be quite hard for them. They won’t naturally go put their arm around each other because they’re conscious of this thing that’s going on, which is not even true. They won’t do that natural behavior.” It’s not the gay rumors that affected Larry’s public bond, but the constant harassment and invasiveness, the fact that there are tons of denials and people still spams every single post of the boys (and friends and family) with Larry’s claims. It’s the same Liam said for Attitude, it’s the constant watching and interpretation that exhausted them; in Zayn’s own words: “knowing that everything you do will be parsed for subtext is a terrible mindfuck.” Congratulation, Larries, you played yourselves and ruined Larry for the world.

—————————————————————————————————

Louis

[Reorganized Aug 2017]

16/09/2012: Bullshit 1.0

Louis calls Larry’s theories conspiracies, and implies that the people involved in it aren’t lovely. He also addresses how those people give the fandom a bad name, thing that’s been proven to be a massive issue intra fandom and with media and GP’s perception of it and fannish behavior. He also refers to Larry as the “biggest load of bullshit.” The impact and following tantrum was so big that, to be able to cope Larries called the episode “bullshit 1.0,” because even if it should have ended that very day, they carried on, leaving room for even more denials left and right, and “bullshit 2.0.”

As I said, Larries got so defensive they ended up attacking Jay because, as always, she dared to speak up for her son and his girlfriend. Louis had to return and address the harassment again. His mother, people.

The issue ended that day with Louis making clear that HE DOESN’T CONSIDER LARRIES REAL FANS, and that any claim about anyone else but himself tweeting was inaccurate (sounds like he knew already the kind of theories he was dealing with):

Sept 2012: Chatty Man’s denial is reported in this article. The words quoted directly from Louis are consistent with everything Louis’ said on the matter to this day, that Larry makes things difficult for Harry and him, and that it’s disrespectful to his girlfriend.

“I just think it's really degrading towards her,” he explained, mentioning Eleanor again. What's most fascinating is that he admitted that he'd known about the pairing for a while, but that after a while it became more taxing than fun: “This is a subject that was funny at first but now is actually hard to deal with, as I am in relationship. Me and Harry are best friends. People look into our every move—it is actually affecting the way me and Harry are in public.”

Oct 2012: Louis calls Larry Stylinson “a conspiracy of fanfiction.” When Unreality TV asked about Larry rumors, Louis said:

There’s also a recorded interview with thehothits.com around the same period of time of Louis talking about the matter HERE. I leave you a transcription:

“I’m sure if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that every now and again I’m quite outspoken. I think it’s important to speak your mind, and I’ve had a few rants recently. You know, people who have been horrible to my girlfriend Eleanor and to my mum, and I just don’t think people should be able to get away with it. I don’t go to bed and worry about it, I just think that people if they want to be like that, should be put in their place.”

We know you’ve been working on it, sweetie, but these people are so self-absorbed and selfish they don’t listen to anyone but themselves.

Nov 2013: Louis called Larry “a fucking annoyance.” Talking about fan theories and conspiracy theories, Zayn and Louis went off:

Looks like someone was pretty tired. You can read the whole interview HERE.

Do I really need to look up the words conspiracy and fiction for Laries to get the point?

21/07/2017: Louis denies Larry in an interview with The Sun. You can watch the video HERE (starts at 00:31.)

After relating the phenomenon to conspiracy theories, Louis states that “obviously there’s there’s not truth to it” [Larry’s conspiracy theory] glancing directly into the camera (like Larries always dreamed about) around 01:05. If there’re still doubts about it, or you don’t want to watch it, here are the gifs made by @slowhandsmp3:

And again a transcription:

Dan Wootton: Can you tell me what your view is on these people who are obsessed by a “Larry” conspiracy?

LOUIS: I’ve never actually been asked about it directly. It’s a funny thing. People can believe what they want to believe. It comes across as a little bit disrespectful to the ones that I love, like Eleanor. It’s like anything, if you google a conspiracy on iPhones, you’re gonna get a conspiracy. It’s one of those things people love to buy into, but in reality, obviously there’s no truth to it, obviously.

The same day The Sun published an exclusive interview where Louis went deeper in the issue:

“Louis and Harry’s friendship was also dogged by a ridiculous five-year conspiracy by a group of determined fans known as Larries.

They believe that the pair are in a romantic relationship that was covered up by 1D management, SIMON COWELL and even me (I promise you I’d have been delighted to report that Harry and Louis were an item if that were the case).

Sadly, Louis admits the pressure from Larry conspiracy theorists was a factor in their friendship struggling, especially given the serious relationship he has with girlfriend Eleanor Calder.He says: “I’ve never actually been asked about it directly. It’s a funny thing.“

"It kind of happened naturally for me and Harry because a certain amount of the fans drew up this conspiracy.

"When it first came around I was with Eleanor, and it actually felt a little bit disrespectful to Eleanor, who is my girlfriend now.

“I’m so protective over things like that, about the people I love. So it created this atmosphere between the two of us where everyone was looking into everything we did.

“It took away the vibe you get off anyone. It made everything, I think on both fences, a little bit more unapproachable. I think it shows that it was never anything real, if I can use that word.”

Louis again refers to Larry’s fan theories as conspiracy theories, and blames the fans involved in these behaviors (again called disrespectful) for the public, notorious separation that happened between him and Harry. This is consistent with the things expressed by Louis throughout the years, and also Zayn, for instance, who claimed fans made impossible for Harry and Louis to be spontaneous and physical with each other while in public. So congratulations, Larries, yet another confirmation that you killed what you loved the most.

31/07/2017: Louis’ denial of Larry Stylinson in an interview with Andy Cohen. As the media picked up The Sun exclusive, Louis was asked again about it, now in USA soil. No more excuses, Larries. Louis want to shut down these theories once and for all.

You can listen to the actual audio with words coming out of Louis’ mouth HERE.

Transcription HERE, but here’s a caption:

Not fans. Not anything, but “these people.” That’s how Louis refers to the people that come up with conspiracies about him. It’s over, people. You are not Louis’ fans if you deny his real relationship and his son. He warned you in 2012. Nothing really new to it. Just more denial coming up from the Larries. As Harry would say, SAD.

—————————————————————————————————

Harry

[Reorganized Aug 2017]

During an interview for 60 minutes Australia, the interviewer tells Harry, “Look, Harry. I’ve got to ask you about this one. This is Famous magazine. This says you and Louis are a couple. There’s pictures of you kissing!”

Liam, Niall, and Harry begin explaining that the pictures are photoshopped and that it has happened to all of the boys.

She then asks Harry, “Oh, really? So you and Louis, there is nothing going on?”

Harry replies with a simple, “NO.“ Yes, Larries, hold on. I’ve heard all of your excuses, and I will address them. But first see it for yourselves, I swear it doesn’t bite:

youtube

Before you say, "Harry had to lean into to make sure they didn’t have actual pictures of them kissing,” let’s talk about the interview where they asked if Harry was having an affair with Obama.

Looks pretty similar to his reaction in the Australian interview, doesn’t it? So, is Harry fucking Obama too? Of course not. If you go up to anyone, claiming to have pictures of them kissing their best friend, they are going to look. It’s just a natural reaction. Keep making excuses.

Also related to this same interview, Larries spread the lie that there is a picture of Harry crying from right after this interview.

NO, THERE IS NOT.

The picture Larries spread around claiming to be of Harry crying are from a completely different interview where he has been sick for a few days. The exact same shot is at 9:13, and it is actually of Harry and Niall laughing. It is not a picture of Niall comforting Harry because he was crying. You can check it for yourselves HERE.

See how deceiving pictures (and Larries) can be?

Let’s move on. Larries don’t acknowledge this denial, and they thought they were lucky enough not to go through the same again due to Harry’s reluctance to talk about his personal life. It was a gift that kept giving until it stopped. It happened again.

In April 2016, a Venezuelan fan asked Harry is Larry was real while facetiming and he said “NO.” It was referred through Twitter by user @kingcasique_ and reported by media in at least this video:

youtube

Sadly, these tweets happened between Victoria, the girl that chatted with Harry, and her friend [I can’t provide a link because the girl has been suspended on Twitter]:

These types of implications are NOT acceptable. NO means NO.

Troubles continued for Larries, because life’s a b*tch for them, since during the promo of his solo career (May/June of 2017,) in which Harry remarked again and again how honest his album was, he was asked if his solo song “Sweet Creature” was about Louis.

So Harry denied Larry again, stating that he would “lean toward NO” in the subject of the song being about Louis. Listen to his reply (starting to speak quite upset) at 00:10:

youtube

Teen Vogue picked it up and you can read the article HERE. But here’s a transcription of the statement for everyone to acknowledge it.

“Lean toward NO” is as much as a categorical statement as a single NO. The word NO is right there. And you respect the word NO, because NO means NO.

Asked about the fan theory a second time in USA Today, Harry said “Oh, is that a thing?," completely snubbing the rumors. And went further: “Well, whatever it is that it makes one feel. But I think if you listen to the lyrics, you can work out what it’s about.” Oh, Harry, you unlucky bastard. You have a tendency to catch hay fever and Larries.

—————————————————————————————————

Louis and Harry

[Added Feb 2017]

HERE is one of the first interviews in which Louis and Harry casually dismiss the rumors about Larry being a romance (the one of the “genuinely believe.”) There’s a politeness, a clear intention not to create drama with the denial, because at the time rumors were just starting to get fueled, but they still weren’t a proper conspiracy theory, as Louis would refer later when talking about Larry. It wasn’t the only time the issue was addressed in a relaxed manner, trying to shut down rumors, but with an intention not to alienate the fans. And here’s another:

youtube

This is what the YouTube poster of the video wrote as a caption:

“I ship Larry, honest I think they are so cute and I would love them to be together... but if they say that its not true, that it is annoying them, going too far or that they are happy with their girlfriends then as fans we should respect that and let them live their lives. If they aren't gay then it will upset them and their girlfriends, and if they are then its obvious that they can't or don't want to talk about it so really either way shoving your opinions in their faces and their family and friends faces doesn't help. I'm not saying you don't have a right to think that or have an opinion, but sometimes you might want to think about who its affecting and respect what they are telling you, whether you believe it or not.”

Enough said.

—————————————————————————————————

Alright. I think I have gotten most of the ones I could find.

I figured I would actually discuss them more in depth since I can kind of predict what Larries will say about it.

First of, yes I do realize people can lie. However, people do not go so far to call Larries vile, deluded freaks, fake fans, disbelievers, deranged, stupid, a lost cause, bitter, lonely, and fucking peasants. They would also not go so far to call the theory of Larry strange, ludicrous, bullshit, weird, as real as the tooth fairy, a fantasy, imaginary, fan fiction, rubbish, and a wasted obsession. (I personally do not believe everything said about Larries was necessarily appropriate, but it happened.)

Like I have said before, if they didn’t want to out Larry, there was no reason to lie. It can simple be avoided.

Second of all, if you believe their family and friends are under contract, go ahead and read these posts:

Larries’ Contract Theories I

Larries’ Contract Theories II

It is not only about Harry and Louis, but that Act protects their loved ones as well.

Also, like I said before, these are all people who have known Harry and Louis all their lives or are very good friends or are people they work with. These are not random people who claim to have met Louis and claim to have been told that he hates Larry or that Elounor is real.

I find it really doubtful that these people would not know the truth, and I think if you are telling yourself that, you need to really think about that.

[Added Aug 2017]

After reading all this, there’s no denial that the only constant in the seven-year-long 1D history has been these people denying the existence of a romantic relationship between Louis and Harry. And I’d dare to say that the only constant in the 1D fandom has been the abuse and harassment they have subjected these persons to because of it.

WORDS MATTER. RESPECT THESE PEOPLE’S WORDS. RESPECT THEIR TRUTH. STOP THE DISRESPECT AND THE ENTITLEMENT.

#larry #larry stylinson #larry denials #louis tomlinson #harry styles #original 1arry-isnt-rea1 masterpost #one direction #1d

306 notes · View notes

dweemeister · 6 years

Photo

The Happening (2008)

Some of my favorite movies are B-movies. Whenever titles like Beach Blanket Bingo (1965) and The Tingler (1959) air on Turner Classic Movies (TCM) during convenient hours for me, I sit down and usually tune in for at least a few minutes. Neither film is ever challenging to be the Great American Movie, but it is hard to tear myself away from the campiness of ‘60s kids frolicking on a Southern California beach without parental supervision or one of the silliest premises ever seen in a horror movie. Before the release of The Happening, director M. Night Shyamalan said that he wanted to, “mak[e] an excellent B movie.” His intentions – premeditated or otherwise – aside, The Happening will receive no such goodwill from me.

Two years before a crime against art known as The Last Airbender (2010) and five years before the shambolic After Earth (2013), a film like The Happening should have put the director into the cinematic sin bin. If there is anything redeeming about this horror-thriller, it is somehow not terrible enough to be noxious to the senses. Instead, first-time viewers should prepare for laughter – you won’t even need certain recreational substances (depending where you live, perhaps legal substances!) to enjoy the kick this movie provides. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

The Happening opens in Central Park as an inexplicable mass suicide strikes the surrounding area. Initially, an airborne chemical toxin is suggested as the cause. Philadelphia-based high school science teacher Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg; whose character comments about a student’s appearance and accepts the most quasi-intellectual answer any student has ever bullshitted) has learned about the supposed bioterrorist attack and decides to leave for Harrisburg with his wife, Alma (Zooey Deschanel), teacher friend Julian (John Leguizamo), and Julian’s young daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez). Julian, hearing that his wife is in trouble in Princeton, New Jersey, leaves Jess to the care of Elliot and Alma – parental figures in Shyamalan’s films are awful. It is up to Elliot, Alma, and Jess to survive the unknown, unpredictable chemical menace stalking the American Northeast.

Other important characters include the reclusive Mrs. Jones (Betty Buckley), a plant nursery owner (Frank Collison), the nursery owner’s wife (Victoria Clark), and teenagers Josh (Spencer Breslin) and Jared (Robert Bailey, Jr.).

Usually my synopses do not end that early in a film’s plot, but considering that The Happening reveals the plot twist about a quarter-ways into the runtime and the fact that I am averse to spoiling movies, that will have to do. The trademark Shyamalan twist seems not to be the twist itself, but the timing of the twist. Shyamalan’s screenplay is a disaster of organization, imagination, and characterization. Already packed with sharp turns in mood, some of those tonal shifts are distractingly arbitrary – such as when Elliot teases the vice principal about being a wicked lady before receiving the news of the events (something bound to see any other teacher disciplined), Julian relinquishing Jess to Alma before seething at her intentions (”Don’t take my daughter’s hand unless you mean it.”), and an aside about packing and the deliciousness of hot dogs just after the twist is revealed. Elliot and Alma are dreadful judges of imminent dangers and mystifying behavior that a viewer can draw one or both of the following conclusions: that the leads are socially inept or that everyone in this film – by virtue of being proximate to the titular happening (or perhaps just by being in a Shyamalan movie) – is socially inept.

What happened to all of the characters in Shyamalan movies from here to The Last Airbender to After Earth? No one in any of these three movies – and the only three Shyamalan movies I have seen in their entirety – possesses even a whiff of charisma, good humor, or likability. If surviving a cataclysmic event means that we have to be devoid of all these qualities, almost everyone who is reading this is probably doomed. Did Shyamalan save all of those personalities for a rainy day so that he could use them in Split (2016)? Spare a thought and a silver lining for some, however, as awkward teenagers and nerds looking to exact revenge on jocks should rejoice! Unlike the characters in The Happening, you can take the simplest of hints!

Now, the lead actors; neither of them assisted by the screenplay.

This movie contains the worst performance in Mark Wahlberg’s hot-and-cold career – worse than Planet of the Apes (2001) and the two Transformers movies he has appeared in (admittedly, I haven’t seen the entirety of Age of Extinction or a second of The Last Knight, but I can – by betting the farm, the barn, the silos, and the livestock – almost certainly guarantee you those Wahlberg performances cannot be as bad as this). Wahlberg always looks worried, his face never relaxing, his eyebrows and wrinkles curved downward. Wahlberg’s dialogue delivery is some of the poorest within the last decade. The most infamous example of which happens just before Elliot and Alma sleep over at Mrs. Jones’ house for the night. Any child – not even a child actor – could convince Mrs. Jones about their intentions better than that. Who in their right mind (Wahlberg? Shyamalan? thought those lines were delivered as well as they could be?

Then there is Zooey Deschanel, also providing audiences with the entertainment of a most disastrous, inhuman performance. She has the most nonsensical lines in the movie (”We’re not gonna be one of those assholes on the news who watches the crime happen and not do something! We’re not assholes!”) and is found too often blankly staring at someone or something – her eyes like saucers at a Thanksgiving dinner. Prepare to be hypnotized by her eyes; not romantically, but curiously and eventually devolving into unintended hilarity. She has no chemistry with her co-star, as Elliot and Alma are sniping at each other with the aftermath of an unexplained marital conflict. But, of course, they get back together by the film’s end. Regarding her dialogue delivery, Deschanel’s timing is only slightly better than Wahlberg’s, but not by much.

Instead, it is Betty Buckley as Mrs. Jones with the creepiest performance in The Happening, as the tonal inconsistency of the screenplay actually helps her character. There is a lesson to be learned here: whenever a movie sees a plastic plant act better than the top-billed star, it probably sucks. So if Hollywood ever produces a new version of Paint Your Wagon, I fully expect Mark Wahlberg to be cast as Pardner, so he can sing “I Talk to the Trees”. If any other actor is cast as Pardner, I will consider a twenty-year sabbatical from watching any movie.

Is there anything redeeming about The Happening? Barely. Tak Fujimoto’s (1991′s The Silence of the Lambs, 1999′s The Sixth Sense) cinematography, though blandly lit, provides audiences with a handful of harrowing images: the opening scenes in Central Park and the construction site in particular. Again, I must be careful of spoilers by walking on tiptoes in noting that something about the weather proves important to the movie. Some of the greatest director-cinematographer collaborations have made sunlight oppressive, the rain foreboding, the wind terrifying, the snow ominous. Fujimoto and Shyamalan fail to make that terrorizing aspect about the film’s weather a character, though I suspect most of the fault here lies with Shyamalan

Also, is The Happening trying to be a horror-thriller hybrid? Because it barely registers the frights needed for the former, nor the excitement expected for the latter. It inspires enough eye-rolls and laughs for a comedy, but nothing in The Happening suggests the film wants to be interpreted that way. Away from strict genres now, is The Happening a veiled message movie? If so, Shyamalan has never spoken about it in that way. One suspects that this film might be commenting on how people react after a mass catastrophe, like a terrorist attack or a natural disaster. There are references to the bystander effect (a psychological phenomenon where people are less likely to help an individual in distress if there are others around) and social situations that should raise questions about what is the right thing to do – but these depictions do not inspire controversy or personal inquiry.

Movies like The Happening make me wonder how do producers and executives allow calamitous films to be released. Shyamalan’s film has a workable premise left in tatters the moment Wahlberg’s character is introduced. It never recovers the lethal momentum of its introductory scenes’ framing. Thus, The Happening should be a staple of movie marathons where the theme is hilariously bad movies. I guess there are Shyamalan movies worth watching – recall that I’ve only seen this, The Last Airbender, and After Earth in their entireties – and that I will get to them someday. I will let you know when that happens.

My rating: 2/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

#The Happening #M. Night Shyamalan #Mark Wahlberg #Zooey Deschanel #John Leguizamo #Ashlyn Sanchez #Betty Buckley #Spencer Breslin #Robert Bailey Jr.#Tak Fujimoto #My Movie Odyssey

2 notes · View notes

kelasparmak · 7 years

Note

Odo and Garak for the situations ask?

Fake dating/marrieds: there are two options. one is that odo is excruciatingly uncomfortable and people start taking garak aside to give him unwanted relationship advice for his fake marriage, or they slip odo cards with a divorce lawyer’s name on. garak finds this hilarious at first but, because it’s garak and he is a vain vain man, quickly becomes appalled at how everyone assumes odo has fallen out of love with him and he’ll be left heartbroken. maybe he’s moved on to greener pastures, guys, didja think of that?alternatively, and maybe less likely, garak is for once determined to properly be a good friend to odo, who in fairness has always been a good friend to him, and not do anything that might push his boundaries. odo on the other hand is a noir detective in his heart of hearts and immediately gets super into the roleplay/disguise element, and is surprisingly good at playing the part (because playing the part is what odo has been pressured to do for as long as he’s been conscious and self-aware).either way, it’s not what people expect it to be, and it’s sort of hilarious.

Bodyswap: odo uses his security codes to turn up the temperature in his room, breaks it, and causes environmental problems. o’brien gets pissed off with him, then figures out why and is sympathetic, and then goes right back to pissed off because garak has turned into goo to get into places he shouldn’t and hear things he shouldn’t, and o’brien just found him in his goddamn alamo replica.

Telepathy: ANGST. angst happens. probably they bond over having daddy issues, but resolutely pretend not to be able to hear each other’s thoughts because they are stubborn pieces of shit who Don’t Do Sadness.

OH NO only one bed at the hotel: odo doesn’t use a bed so this is maybe not an issue. if it’s during the humanoid!odo time though, i can see a cuddling-for-warmth scenario arising. only they refuse to call it cuddling and come up with completely absurd periphrastic overcomplicated bullshit to make it sound like Serious Stuff that was unavoidable and doesn’t mean they’re friends or anything.

Accidental time-travel: oh jeez. i mean, probably the awkward bisexual disaster that is teenage garak turns up, right? that is generally the best use of time travel. no matter who he runs into he develops a crush, because it’s practically asit!canon that that is garak’s whole thing at that age. just crushing on everyone in the entire goddamn galaxy.alternatively, an au of ‘things past’, in which odo’s unresolved guilt about the things he did/allowed while an unwitting/uninformed semi-collaborator is actually addressed. if anyone’s in a position to talk to him frankly about Doing What You Gotta and not feeling worse about it than you have to, it’s sisko and garak. sisko, because he’s a good person and a bit of a martyr, might make odo feel worse, though he’s self-aware and empathetic enough not to do it as much as he could. garak, i imagine, could find the words to make odo feel more okay with what he’s done (if only because he knows that garak wouldn’t just say these things to make him feel better, though actually that’s 100% what garak is doing).

Their first kiss: hmmmmmm. can kinda see it happening near the end of ‘the die is cast’, just after they escape the trap laid by the founder, both of them very confused and not totally okay with what’s going on. but that’s not going to have been a great first kiss, so maybe… okay, a few options:a) they hang out a lot while garak’s in jail, because i don’t remember if it was ever clarified but if garak was in jail on ds9 that is potentially horrific, the holding cells we see on the show are tiny and have no privacy; hopefully a longer-term cell would be nicer but either way leaving that aside it’d mean he was spending a lot of time with odo. if he was in jail on a different station, which would prbably mke more sense, i like to think odo would still visit him pretty often, maybe even more than julian because i think odo ‘gets’ him more but relates to the lying etc less, which makes it easier for him to sympathise than julian, who empathises a lot but pretends he doesn’t and wishes that he didn’t. anyway they get really close over that time and when garak gets out they have excruciatingly awkward small talk and then a ‘uhh, hey, so… how ya feel bout… touching mouths…’ and then they smooch.b) also sad: when garak and kira realise odo’s dying just after they all leave for cardassia prime. everyone’s poly and that’s not an issue. odo is dying and that is an issue.c) they discuss odo’s awful romance/smut novels and the terrible descriptions therein, and it quicly comes up that odo’s never really kissed anyone before, so garak offers to help him get some experience, fully expecting it to be taken as a joke (as intended!), but odo’s like ‘yeah actually i do need some practice? this is one of those solid things?’ and……. the obvious fanfic ensues.d) the episodes ‘my way’ and ‘our man bashir’ mesh perfectly into one episode where they are both nerds in tuxedos who make out in an early/mid-20th century themed holosuite.

Meeting the parents: this has happened on one side already. i like to think that garak would be very very cutting to dr mora, with no reservations about how he has to be nice to odo’s ‘dad’ and not cause problems in their already fraught relationship. also probably sabotage several little things to make sure that his stay on ds9 is awful, though nothing that’d actually damage him. probably. maybe a lot of ‘accidental’ electric shocks from ‘accidental’ wiring faults, though. turnabout’s fair play.

Moving in together: odo puts his bucket in garak’s room. garak tucks several blankets and a space heater under the desk in odo’s office. DOMESTIC AS FUCK.

A crossover of my choice: oh boy. okay, let’s take some creative license here, cause this is sort of more of an au, but… white collar. odo as the dedicated and sort of boring-seeming cop with a strong sense of justice and commitment to law & order, but who in his heart believes that people really can be redeemed, and also kind of grudgingly admires criminals like master forger & art thief garak, who is so fucking talented and creative and twisty-mindedly a genius, and who seemingly by coincidence takes care not to put anyone’s wellbeing on the line if they’re just trying to make a living and haven’t done anything to deserve it. together, they solve crimes (and drink a lot of wine).

An au of my choice: again, i have such a fondness for the white collar au i was just talking about, though i don’t think i’d really considered it in any depth before just now, other than ‘oh hey, this neal guy reminds me of garak, and if he’s garak then i guess this superficially by-the-book but secretly-a-loose-cannon cop is probably odo’. i love this au now.but because that wasn’t exactly a crossover i feel like i’ve gotta be really strict and come up with a canonverse au for this one. so, either:a) dominion!odo au, where odo rejoins the link willingly the first time he meets them back in ‘the search’, and for the rest of the series is a semi-enemy who genuinely believes the founders can impose order on chaotic and harmful forces like cardassian expansionism and prevent atrocities like those that that happened on bajor from happening again. this brings him into conflict with the regular ds9 crew, obviously, though those conflicts never come to violence because both odo and the rest of the ds9 crew realise that the other has good intentions and they don’t want to hurt each other because they’re friends. garak has no such qualms - anything that might jeopardise cardassian interests, no matter how well-intentioned (and no matter how badly-intentioned he thinks the current cardassian government might be), is fuckin’ going down. this could be a very long fic with a lot of drama where everything turns out okay, or it could be a short one where, lbr, garak fucking dies because he tried to kill an entire planet of near-invulnerable shapeshifters, again.or b) deep dish nine, the One True AU in every niner’s heart. my initial thinking is that this hypothetical fic would relate to odo being involved in an ongoing attempt to shut down a drug operation in the neighbourhood, which he did not realise that that odd but strangely easy to talk to tailor who lives in the basement was involved with. either he talks to garak (who has probs already been talking to julian about this whole Drug Problem Sitch) and convinces him to help with the sting, or he doesn’t find out until the middle of a raid or something. again, this one could end well or it could end badly. i like to think it ends well.

If you like, another trope/scenario of your choice: i mentioned it earlier but it’s canon that odo reads a lot of terrible smut (despite being probably ace, which perhaps surprisingly is not an uncommon combination, even though it’s not an intuitive one at all). and it’s semi-canon (thanks, andy) that garak is a hopeless romantic, a bisexual disaster, kind of kinky, and (full canon now) v into reading as a form of escapism. so, their breakfasts together definitely end up being a second replimat-book-club for garak, only in this one they might pretend it’s Highbrow Literature but genuinely all they discuss is like, bad housewife erotica. they know it’s garbage but they also both unironically love it. (quark overhears more than he wants to but like hell is he telling them that since breakfast time is quiet he can overhear certain frequencies if he’s near the exit of his bar - which he is, more often than he needs to be these days. he’s not suicidal enough to try blackmailing either odo or garak without a damn good reason, but having some material on them doesn’t hurt).

#ds9 #everythingandanythingisgood #long post for ts #odo #elim garak #this is such a late reply i'm so sorry #i reblogged a ton of ask games right before being busy for weeks because i'm dumb and i thought i'd think out my replies on the train or bu #i didn't i just completely forgot about them #i'm sorry! here's a reply like three weeks late i hope it helps

16 notes · View notes

snarktheater · 7 years

Text

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown — Bonus (short story)

Someone requested it, so I'm doing it. I ended up liking The Coldest Girl in Coldtown more than expected, so I'm actually glad to be taking a look at the short story that came before the book. We'll see what it's worth.

The story opens with a girl named Matilda, who is drunk, and apparently this is not a rare occurrence for her. A guy tries to pick up on her (and the story immediately tells us that she is in fact underage, so…ew), and she goes along with it because…I don't know, either she has an agenda, or self-destructive urges. Possibly both.

The guy is named…Mark, or Dan, or Dave, Matilda isn't sure, and she settles on Mardave, because the author thought this would be hilarious. He's also with a friend, Ben. Because…it's more fun to sexually abuse a drunk underage girl with a friend, I guess?

It would be easy for her to close her eyes and pretend Mardave was someone else, someone she wanted to be touched by, but she wouldn’t let herself soil her memories of Julian.

So…yeah, self-destruction mixed with unhealthy coping mechanisms. Okay.

As they head for Mardave's place, Matilda sees streams from Coldtown on the televisions in a storefront, and so the book delivers the crucial information about the world. Remember, this came before the book. Also, wherever they are, Matilda and the boys are currently near Coldtown.

“We’ll protect you,” said Ben, smiling back at her. “We should do what other countries do and blow those corpses sky high,” Mardave said. Matilda bit her tongue not to point out that Europe’s vampire hunting led to the highest levels of infection in the world. So many of Belgium’s citizens were vampires that shops barely opened their doors until nightfall. The truce with Coldtown worked. Mostly.

Hey, why the Belgium hate? And yeah, I've complained about this in the book too, but I have a very hard time believing that Europe would devolve into vampire hunting while the United States of fucking America would choose the diplomatic route. It bears repeating.

Anyway, Matilda is sick…and by "sick" I mean she's probably Cold, judging by her symptoms and the surrounding descriptions.

Now she was the one who was counting. Fifty-seven days. Eighty-eight days. Eighty-eight nights.

I'm…honestly no sure what this is supposed to mean. Has it been fifty-seven days for her or did the book just throw the number at random?

Matilda ends up being found by a guy named Dante while she waits for Mardave and Ben to buy more booze. Dante knows her and has been looking for her, because everyone she knows thinks she's dead. She tells him she is indeed Cold, and cue more infodump as she explains to us why she ran away (which is…basically the same reason Tana did).

Dante tells her that Julian (who is Matilda's boyfriend, in case the earlier reference was too subtle for you) and his sister Lydia ran away together, with Lydia at least looking to turn into a vampire. Matilda doesn't really want to bother with other people's problems when she still has to hold out for thirty-seven days without biting people, but Dante ruins her plans for the night by telling the boys that she's infected. Well, dodged that bullet, I guess.

We get a flashback to fifty-seven days ago, when she got bitten by a vampire at a party, and then some infodump about Caspar Morales for good measure. Then it's back to the present, with Matilda coercing Dante into buying her alcohol so she can keep he bloodlust at bay.

“You can’t keep going like this. You can’t just stay drunk to avoid your problems.” […] “Let me spell it out: if you don’t get me some alcohol, I am going to bite you.”

After he gets her a drink, he explains his sister's situation in more detail: she used to be scared of vampires, then decided to become one, and Dante went looking for Matilda hoping she would have turned and that…what, she could turn his sister for him?

Yeah, pretty much. Lydia was already looking for vampires to bite her through online ads, so getting someone they could trust to do it is a better alternative, I guess? As for Julian…

Dante shrugged slim shoulders. “Maybe he was looking for you.”

Right, whatever you say.

We get some infodump about the token system for humans to get out of Coldtown, in order to establish the stakes: if Matilda and Dante can't find Lydia and Julian before they make it to Coldtown, they won't be able to get them out without hiring a vampire hunter, which they or their families can't really afford.

Also, this:

“Why did Julian go with her?” She tried to keep the hurt out of her voice. She didn’t think Dante would understand. He DJed at a club in town and was rumored to see a different boy or girl every day of the week. The only person he actually seemed to care about was his sister.

Is this a thing with Holly Black, that her male characters are bi? Or is it just this particular case, because the short story more or less inspired the book and so some elements are lifted from it?

They hit the bars around Coldtown looking for someone who might have seen Lydia and Julian, and eventually pick up their trail from a girl, from whom they bought blood that they could use for the transformation once they find a vampire to bite them. Um…ew.

“Said she was tired of waiting.” “What about the guy?” Matilda asked. […] “He said his girlfriend was a vampire,” said the girl.

Yeah, well, he obviously didn't do his research well, did he?

Dante checks his sister's blog to find that she made a new entry titled "One-Way Ticket to Coldtown", and…that doesn't really change anything to the stakes, but okay, I guess?

Instead, we go on a tangent about how Matilda should tell more people about her method of resisting the Cold by being constantly drunk. Because sure, that sounds like a good idea. Make the people infected with something that makes them violent lose all their inhibitions. I can't see that go wrong ever.

Dante also points out that Lydia's never going to be turned inside Coldtown, because the vampires need a food supply and not more competition. So Matilda makes a decision to save Lydia and Julian: complete the transformation.

Crawling over, she straddled Dante’s waist before he had a chance to shift positions. His mouth tasted like tobacco. When she pulled back from him, his eyes were wide with surprise, his pupils blown and black even in the dim streetlight. “Matilda,” he said and there was nothing in his voice but longing. “If you really want your sister, I am going to need one more thing from you,” she said. His blood tasted like tears.

I'm…not really sure why I quoted this passage exactly, but I just had to do it. There's something about it that's brilliant and poetic while also being insufferable. You're welcome.

So she goes to Coldtown to turn herself in in exchange for a voucher for a human to leave. They force her to wait until her transformation is complete first, and then, they do indeed let her in with a token. Cue descriptions of the place, and…Coldtown sounds a lot nicer than it did in the books, but then again, this might be a result of Matilda being a vampire and experiencing her new vampire powers. In fact, she's so overwhelmed that she almost stays out as the sun rises, if not for a random girl who spots her and gets her to come inside her place.

Said place is inhabited by a group of humans who trade on the black market and with the Coldtown guards. They immediately demand that Matilda bites them in exchange for shelter from the sun, and Matilda only agrees to do it at night, though mostly because she's starting to need to feed.

“Why would you want me to do that?” The girl’s expression clearly said that Matilda was stupid. “Who doesn’t want to live forever?” I don’t, Matilda wanted to say, but she swallowed the words.

So Matilda gets settled in for the night, gets a message from Dante (which means he is indeed okay), and sends a message to Lydia asking to meet. She goes to sleep for the day, and when she wakes up, Lydia replied and gave her a rendezvous point.

But first, Matilda has to deal with her hosts. By which I mean she bites one of them as promised…and then feeds on her until the girl dies. Oops?

The worst part is: this doesn't even discourage the others.

Another girl grabbed Matilda’s arm. “Wait,” the girl said, eyes wide and imploring. “You have to bite me next. You’re full now so you won’t have to hurt me—” With a cry, Matilda tore herself free and ran up the stairs—if she went fast enough, maybe she could escape from herself.

Which, for some reason, strikes me as pretty realistic. Right? Everyone thinks they would be the one who does it right.

But as the quote says, Matilda manages to run away, and goes to the Festival of Sinners, where Lydia told her to meet. And she does indeed find Julian and Lydia there, and explains what she did.

“I wasn’t in Coldtown,” Matilda said. “I came here so that Lydia could leave. I have a pass.”

Unsurprisingly, Lydia disagrees with that plan, since…you know, she wants to be a vampire. As for Julian, he doesn't look thrilled at the idea of being here with just Matilda, so…yeah, I guess this is an unofficial breakup right there.

Since Matilda won't bite her, Lydia…takes Julian hostage with a knife. Um…okay, that's a little extreme, girl.

So Matilda caves in…well, kind of. We get a scene break right after she bites Lydia, leaving some ambiguity as to what happened as the narration recaps that Julian ran away from Coldtown with the token after giving Matilda his money and credit cards.

As for Lydia, turns out Matilda didn't drain her dry. Instead, she locked her up to stream her going Cold.

You’ve probably seen lots of video feeds from inside Coldtown. […] Here’s what you never see. What I’m going to show you. For eighty-eight days you are going to watch someone sweat out the infection. […] It’s not going to be pretty. […] This is the real Coldtown. I’m the real Coldtown. You still want in?

And…that's it. That's the short story. And for what it is, it's…all right, I guess. It can't really play upon the same strengths as the book because it just doesn't have the time, but it does what it does well.

Honestly…that's about all I have to say on the subject. The short story's available online for free, so I'd say it's worth reading even if you went through this post, if only to check out if you like Black's writing for yourself. It's not quite as good as the book, but it should still give you an indication of what to expect.

And with that, I'm signing off and moving on to…the next book on the snark pile. shudders

#the coldest girl in coldtown #holly black #young adult #ya books #books #young adult books #book reviews #ya #reviews #book #book review #review #novella #novella review #st: the coldest girl in coldtown

14 notes · View notes

fangirlmomentsandmytwocents · 7 years

Text

Reservations by Kindle Alexander Cover Reveal

Title: Reservations

Author: Kindle Alexander

Genre: M/M Romance

Release Date: Coming Soon

Wildly successful entrepreneur, Thane Walker is stubbornly set in his ways. Adamantly resistant to the shackles of commitment, he’s seen enough unhappy endings to learn the best way to play is by keeping his men on the payroll.

Levi Silva’s dream of graduating from one of the country’s top medical schools is in his grasp, until news from home changes everything. Now, he’s raising his two teenage brothers and trying to keep everyone’s head above water, emotionally and financially.

When Levi’s new job puts him in Thane’s path, their chemistry explodes, but their fear of being involved in relationships keeps them apart. Unfortunately, despite the intense desire drawing them together, neither man can move forward until they get past their own…Reservations.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

His mouth watered thinking about that vinegar coleslaw, and his stomach growled a little louder. Damn, he was starving. He should go out there and fix himself a plate, but he wouldn’t. That would only open a line of personal communication, and this restaurant had too much of that going on. Everyone but the customers were friends.

Instead of doing that, Thane buckled down and opened an email from Arik Layne. The email was to both him and Chef Ferico. The subject line read, “Whole Foods and HSN, Bitches!!!!” That instantly had Thane smiling. Arik had become a force in his life. The guy didn’t seem to understand the value of hesitancy. Arik was a mover and shaker. Their joint venture of infused olive oils had taken off like lightning. Arik had secured sales on thousands of bottles before manufacturing had started. Now that they had production underway, they were blowing and going like wildfire. All Arik had to do was pick up the phone, and he secured another sale.

Thane scanned the message, reading how Whole Foods planned to add them in a test market now, with mass distribution the beginning of October. That was all great news. Arik had also secured a spot on HSN in November, about two weeks before Thanksgiving. Somehow he’d managed to squeeze them into an already set schedule on foods for the holidays. They’d also be given time on the sales floor. The anticipated sales were around twenty-five thousand bottles.

Wow. Okay.

The last lines on the email made Thane squelch the urge to laugh out loud, not wanting to undermine the stern tone he’d taken with his staff, but, man, Arik was hilarious. He listed ten reasons why he’d be a better choice than Thane to go on the HSN broadcast with Chef Ferico. Every single bullet point ended with “because I really want to sample all the foods made that day.”

Literally, a man after his own heart.

Out of nothing more than the need to make Arik squirm, he decided to tease him. Thane quickly typed how glad he was for Arik’s effort, along with a note that they should at least flip a coin for the TV slot. He chose tails. Grinning, he pushed send as his cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket. With a glance at the screen, he saw Julian’s name and swiped to accept the call.

“Hey,” he said, putting the call on speaker before fishing his Bluetooth out of the computer bag and hooking it around his ear.

“Hey, yourself. You still coming here?”

“I am. It’ll be a few weeks though. Everything okay?”

“Of course, you know I run a tight ship, but I might have to break protocol.”

Thane began shaking his head no as if Julian could see him.

“I can almost hear you shaking your head no.”

“That’s because that’s what I’m doing. Absolutely no rule breakage, Julian. You do it one time and that opens the door…”

“Hang tight, Papi Chulo. Don’t get all bent. I’m telling you before I do it. That should count.”

The happy place he’d found after reading Arik’s hilarious message was on the fast track to crashing and burning as Thane sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why?” he asked, instead of giving Julian the same dressing-down he’d just given this management team on the failures of flouting established protocol.

“Remember that kid I told you about months ago. My PT assistant, the one who got me into free counseling?”

Thane had to really think which was kind of funny. Julian’s care had been grossly expensive. He’d have thought he’d remember someone who’d saved him so much money in free counseling. He shrugged, lifting his brows, giving himself a break. He could vaguely recall the key components. “Maybe…”

“He needs a job.”

“We don’t hire our staff like that, Julian. Remember your training. Your guys…”

“Boss, slow your roll. He’s a med student taking care of his family, and he’s hot as hell. His body alone’ll make the customers very happy. Happy customers equal more money.”

“Is he in your previous line of work?” Thane asked, completely confused and trying to catch up.

“No. I want him for waitstaff at the club. I saw him last night, and he’s losing his job. He’s coming to the club tonight to take a look around. I’ll send his info off for a background check, but I’ll probably put him on the floor as early as tomorrow,” Julian stated matter-of-factly. That was another huge issue he was having with Julian. The guy was a beast at work. He kept sticking his nose in every other manager’s responsibilities, causing all sorts of ill will. Julian was a man on a mission. He governed that club with an iron fist, all to try and repay Thane for the expensive care. “Have you talked with Dave about whether he needs more waitstaff?”

“Dave-the-douchebag quit today. You didn’t hear?” Julian said casually.

“What?” Thane pushed his fingers through his hair. Why was he just now hearing about this?

“Don’t worry. I got this. I’ll fill in until you figure out what to do. I, of course, think you just need to let me handle all personnel…”

“Stop, Julian. First, no one’s hired without passing a background check. I’m not watching anyone go through what you did again. And second, you better stop pissing off all my people. Until I talk to Dave and see if I can get him back, you can handle the waitstaff scheduling, but you aren’t…”

“Equipped to handle personnel issues,” Julian said, finishing his sentence. “Are you getting laid regularly? Because I’m pretty sure you’re not. You need to come on over here and bend me over this desk—”

“We have rules. I’m not having sex on that property, and I better not catch you having sex on that property!” Thane shot out, cutting Julian off. “You’re a very difficult man, Thane Walker,” Julian replied, not missing a beat. “I’d say hard, but I have no way of truly knowing that.”

Best Selling Author Kindle Alexander is an innovative writer, and a genre-crosser who writes classic fantasy, romance, suspense, and erotica in both the male/male and male/female genres. It's always a surprise to see what's coming next!

I live in the suburbs of Dallas where it's true, the only thing bigger than an over active imagination, may be women's hair!

Usually, I try for funny. Humor is a major part of my life - I love to laugh, and it seems to be the thing I do in most situations - regardless of the situation, but jokes are a tricky deal... I don't want to offend anyone and jokes tend to offend. So instead I'm going to tell you about Kindle.

I tragically lost my sixteen year old daughter to a drunk driver. She had just been at home, it was early in the night and I heard the accident happen. I'll never forget that moment. The sirens were immediate and something inside me just knew. I left my house, drove straight to the accident on nothing more than instinct. I got to be there when my little girl died - weirdly, I consider that a true gift from above. She didn't have to be alone.

That time in my life was terrible. It's everything you think it would be times about a billion. I love that kid. I loved being her mother and I loved watching her grow into this incredibly beautiful person, both inside and out. She was such a gift to me. To have it all ripped away so suddenly broke me.

Her name was Kindle. Honest to goodness - it was her name and she died a few weeks before Amazon released their brand new Kindle ereader. She had no idea it was coming out and she would have finally gotten her name on something! Try finding a ruler with the name Kindle on it.. It never happened.

Through the course of that crippling event I was lucky enough to begin to write with a dear friend in the fan fiction world of Facebook. She got me through those dark days with her unwavering support and friendship. There wasn't a time she wasn't there for me. Sometimes together and sometimes by myself, we built a world where Kindle lives and stands for peace, love and harmony. It's its own kind of support group. I know without question I wouldn't be here today without her.

Find out more by visiting www.kindlealexander.com or email me at [email protected]

HOSTED BY:

FGMAMTC

Fangirl Moments and My Two Cents

Website / Facebook / Twitter / Google+ / Pinterest / Goodreads / Tumblr / Bloglovin' / Instagram

var addthis_config = {"data_track_addressbar":true};

#Kindle Alexander #cover reveal

0 notes

fangirlmomentsandmytwocents · 7 years

Text

Reservations by Kindle Alexander Cover Reveal

Title: Reservations

Author: Kindle Alexander

Genre: M/M Romance

Release Date: Coming Soon

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Wow. Okay.

Literally, a man after his own heart.

“Hey,” he said, putting the call on speaker before fishing his Bluetooth out of the computer bag and hooking it around his ear.

“Hey, yourself. You still coming here?”

“I am. It’ll be a few weeks though. Everything okay?”

“Of course, you know I run a tight ship, but I might have to break protocol.”

Thane began shaking his head no as if Julian could see him.

“I can almost hear you shaking your head no.”

“That’s because that’s what I’m doing. Absolutely no rule breakage, Julian. You do it one time and that opens the door…”

“Hang tight, Papi Chulo. Don’t get all bent. I’m telling you before I do it. That should count.”

The happy place he’d found after reading Arik’s hilarious message was on the fast track to crashing and burning as Thane sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why?” he asked, instead of giving Julian the same dressing-down he’d just given this management team on the failures of flouting established protocol.

“Remember that kid I told you about months ago. My PT assistant, the one who got me into free counseling?”

“He needs a job.”

“We don’t hire our staff like that, Julian. Remember your training. Your guys…”

“Boss, slow your roll. He’s a med student taking care of his family, and he’s hot as hell. His body alone’ll make the customers very happy. Happy customers equal more money.”

“Is he in your previous line of work?” Thane asked, completely confused and trying to catch up.

“Dave-the-douchebag quit today. You didn’t hear?” Julian said casually.

“What?” Thane pushed his fingers through his hair. Why was he just now hearing about this?

“Don’t worry. I got this. I’ll fill in until you figure out what to do. I, of course, think you just need to let me handle all personnel…”

I live in the suburbs of Dallas where it's true, the only thing bigger than an over active imagination, may be women's hair!

Find out more by visiting www.kindlealexander.com or email me at [email protected]

HOSTED BY:

FGMAMTC

Fangirl Moments and My Two Cents

Website / Facebook / Twitter / Google+ / Pinterest / Goodreads / Tumblr / Bloglovin' / Instagram

var addthis_config = {"data_track_addressbar":true};

#Kindle Alexander #cover reveal

0 notes