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therecordconnection · 5 months

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Some Thoughts Regarding James Somerton

I know I'm rather late to the conversation and some of these points may have already been talked about in some form elsewhere on the site, but if you don't mind, I have some thoughts of my own regarding the subject of hbomberguy's latest video and I would like to take time to voice. This blog is normally dedicated to music and music writing, not posts about disgraced Youtubers, so I apologize for the detour in regularly scheduled programming.

First, I think it's important to make the distinction that Somerton isn't just a case of "problematic Youtube guy got owned... twice" but rather a genuine case of academic dishonesty, which is several grades above youtuber drama. This isn't something like Tati Westbrook getting angry at James Charles for sucking dick and cock at a birthday dinner. This isn't Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas or whomever having beef. It's not Charlie Critikal talking about some stupid drama of the day or someone just using Youtube videos to say a bunch of gross and problematic stuff. No. This is a fucking grifter who not only lied, cheated, and stole his way to the top, but also did it by using a vulnerable community that has long had their voices snuffed out and their history completely rewritten or wiped from existence altogether. What history he didn't plagiarize, he twisted and outright lied about. He just made shit up to suit his own gross agenda.

A lot of things about James Somerton left me absolutely livid, and I admit that I didn't even know who he was until hbomberguy's video. I think what makes me the most mad is that I went to undergrad and grad school with a number of jackoffs that were just like him. People that didn't give a shit about the art of writing and research and just treated academia and the pursuit of knowledge and how to critically engage with art and media into a stupid game that only chumps take seriously. Somerton pisses me off because I AM a writer. When I write the Ranting and Raving series of posts on here, that stuff doesn't just fly out of my ass. I have to sit with a song, study it, research it, and make sure I know what I'm talking about so I don't look like a clown. I also have to make sure that I link and credit where I'm getting information from. It's not just important for my own satisfaction, but it's important for anyone who stumbles upon a post on this blog and takes time out of their day to read it and/or reblog it.

I think that's the part that makes me the most mad. That he and Nick Hergott have so little respect for the work that goes into researching and writing about a topic that other people are really passionate about. Spending time with something, studying it, and figuring out an interesting and unique perspective on it is a great feeling. Sharing what you find or how you see something with others and having them either like or reblog your work is an even greater feeling. That's my writing that somebody enjoyed and thought was worth sharing with others. Fuck fuck fuck Somerton for thinking you can take a million little shortcuts to get to that result.

While I'm on the topic, I don't think Hergott gets a pass for Somerton's actions. I've seen some people make the argument that he isn't complicit and there's a chance that he genuinely had no clue that Somerton was doing this... but I don't buy it. There's no way he didn't know and wasn't in on it in some capacity. Even if he wasn't, as Todd in the Shadows pointed out in his video on this situation, Nick is, whether you like it or not, an accomplice to Somerton's lies and he is complicit in the blame, due to his name being included in the "Written By" credit of a lot of those videos with Somerton. The way I see it, I find it hard to believe that he couldn't have known. I imagine part of Hergott's signing on with Somerton was that in the event that shit hits the fan, Hergott would be used as a fall guy to help deflect accusations of plagiarism.

To return to Somerton, in a way, he's almost worse than AI/Chat-GPT because, really, an AI has no morals. It can only do what someone punches in and tells it to do. Somerton is a guy who does have genuinely insidious ambitions and knows fully what he's doing. That shit about "only the boring gays who didn't mess around in the eighties survived the aids crisis" is the wildest and grossest accusation I've seen about gay people in some time. The wild takes about the Nazis (especially all the wrong things he said about fitness relating to Nazis) should also raise a lot of red flags. I'll say this though, I don't blame anybody in the slightest for not fully realizing Somerton was saying shit like that or doing all of what he was doing until hbomberguy and Todd presented it a certain way and made it all very clear. It's easy to not notice it when Somerton buries it by ripping stuff off from other, better writers. So, if you were someone who was a big fan and was genuinely shocked by the things Todd had to fact-check and debunk and worried that you're a bad person for having not caught any of them, trust me, you're not. Nobody should blame you for not catching it. <3

While I'm ranting about this, I want to say that Somerton's patreon grift was really gross to see exposed as well (through Dan Olson's really great thread, which can be read here). I understand the allure of wanting to buy expensive gear and thinking that's somehow needed in order to make Good Content™️, but there's a stark difference between someone saying "I think I need to shell out a little money in order to get something of higher quality" and "I need to have the appearance of looking like my stuff is being made with high quality stuff." As someone who has been experimenting with trying to turn his writing into video, I did some audio tests this weekend and realized that maybe (just maybe) the old Turtle Beach microphone my brother left behind when he moved out isn't going to cut it. If I want to record something I can be happy with, I'm gonna have to bite it and look at getting something decent, but somewhat affordable from a Best Buy or something. You don't need the best tech in order to make something great, but you can't use copper tools forever if you have the means to be able to enjoy using iron ones, you know?

Somerton's grift reminded me of guys like Onision and Spoony. Grifters who looked to Patreon and other creator donation sites for an easy pay day and would bitch and cry and complain that it's your fault when they don't get it. Somerton making poor financial choices ON TOP of it being money that he scammed from a community of people that were looking to invest in a voice that they genuinely thought was speaking for them in a meaningful way, only makes the grift more disgusting and foul. Even if he's just "some Youtuber," Somerton still had a responsibility to his audience to present queer topics in an ACCURATE manner. He didn't and we all have the right to be angry with him about it. This isn't just silly youtuber controversy, this is academic dishonesty in it's purest form and if it gets you expelled from any college program, it should get you expelled from being able to show your face on Youtube as well, which is how Somerton's story will end.

I've been on the internet for many years. I've seen some of the worst, most problematic creators of all time find a way to bounce back from all kinds of controversy and find some kind of success again. I don't think that will happen for Somerton. Not one bit. What he's done is something you can never come back from, no matter how much you try to reform. If two different youtubers can make two completely different videos about why you suck, I don't think there's any recovery. What happened this weekend is a now classic episode of World's Most One Sided Fist Fights Caught on Film.

This post has gone on for a while, so let me wrap it up. I mean this without hyperbole and without exaggeration: James Somerton is a disgrace to both media criticism and the art of video creation. I genuinely hope he remains propped up as a cautionary tale of what can happen when you fully decide you have absolutely no respect for the Humanities and decide that lying, cheating, and stealing your way to the top, all while scamming and being incredibly shitty towards a community that has long suffered and is STILL suffering greatly to this day, is better than any kind of academic honesty. I understand that Somerton is just "some youtube fraud" to some people, but the problem lies more in what Somerton's actions and motivations represent. I really think hbomberguy's video on plagiarism is going to do a lot of good. It's going to help a lot of people avoid doing it as well as help people become more aware of what it really looks like and all the damage it can do.

Thank you for your time.

P.S. It doesn't really need to be said at this point, but make sure you support the queer voices and writers that did the work Somerton thought was good enough to just copy and paste into a video. They're the ones that suffered the most through all of this and my heart goes out to them, from one writer to another. <3

#original post #plagarism and you(tube)#james somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows

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stell404 · 7 months

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𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞𝗦

𝗧𝗢𝗠 𝗞𝗔𝗨𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗭 𝗫 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

🎧

synopsis: Late night talks. word count: 624 notes: hope you guys like this!! this was supposed to be really short with 100 words only but i got carried away and started rambling ab my own thoughts💀 this is lightly inspired by their song 'reden' it's one of my faves, that's where the "deep late night talks" idea came from. also please leave reqs for tom kaulitz (or the other fandoms i right for)!!!

🎧

The low grumble of thunder was what initially woke Tom. A flash of lightning from inside the clouds illuminates the room for a brief moment, the weather has been rapidly changing these past few weeks. Sudden snowfalls happening out of nowhere or lightning in the middle of the day—though the lightning never really hits the ground, always just in the clouds.

He reaches his hand to the other side of the bed where he was hoping to find his girlfriend—[Name]. A frown wrinkling his face when he feels nothing but the soft covers of the bed.

Another lightning brightens the dark cozy apartment, it startled him a bit but it did him a favor, it lit up the room as he looked over to the window and there she was. [Name] was sitting on the bay window seat hugging her knees to her chest, looking at the view. Though it was late at night and it was snowing and thundering, the city still was lively, red lights emitting from the cars on the street, warm lights from the tall buildings which allowed you to make out dark figures of the people inside.

Tom walks over to her "Room for one more?" he murmurs.

"Of course" she nodded, shuffling to the side to provide Tom space to sit beside her. Once he's settled, she leaned on his shoulder. Tom didn't really understand what she was doing, but nevertheless, he still joined her.

"It's wonderful isn't it?" she asked as she looked at the city in front of them.

"What?" he sounded confused.

"The people."

"I guess?"

She pointed to a small group of people—which seemed to be friends—walking the streets drunkenly, wobbling from side to side, "They probably just came from a club, group of friends escaping their lives temporarily."

Tom squinted his eyes, their apartment was pretty high up, but you could still see the people on the streets.

Then she pointed to an apartment complex, this one had warm yellow lights and a figure of what looked like a grandma knitting, "She looks lonely."

Tom chuckled in response, "You like watching people?"

"It's interesting isn't it? Everyone out there has their own lives, own problems, they're all the main characters of their story. We all have our own problems and we get too caught up on it to realize that it's not just us here, we exist with other people, other species. It really puts you in perspective, makes you realize that you're never really alone." she rambles, still looking at the vast city beyond them.

He thought for a while before speaking up, "Yeah...it's nice," he said though he really doesn't get how she's interested, but he was willing to listen just to make her happy.

She continued to ramble about deep topic involving humanity, talking about how "humans have always been humans", and "the human instinct to mark the world derived from a need for community or to be remembered greatly by society", all these are topics Tom didn't find interest on, but nevertheless, he listened, he always does.

So there they sat, on the bay window seat, looking out into the vast world beyond them, their words and occasional laughter echoing around the apartment. It was then they both realized how lucky they truly are, what are the chances they could've met? A guy like him and a girl like her? It's something you'd never expect. Something only from the movies or the pages of a book. The way the world worked was something that will never cease to amaze her—amaze both of them.

"I love you," he mumbled, pressing a kiss on the top of her head as she leans of his shoulder.

"I love you too."

#tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #dearstell

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visualtaehyun · 5 months

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Had some more notes while watching the rest of ep. 5 so this is an attempt to put them into one halfway coherent post before ep. 6 airs tomorrow and my brain will inevitably have moved on djshdsjh

This is gonna be highlighting word choice as well as a bit of meta. I'll be color-coding words referring to Day and Mork like this again for ease of understanding.

Disclaimer: not a native speaker, still learning 🙏

Day and August

The word choice in Thai is just as intentionally ambiguous as the subs make it out to be. Both Day and August use the word คู่ /khuu/ a lot which can be used for anything that comes in pairs, is matched against each other, is equal/even etc. After observing the two of them the entire episode, Mork very fittingly remarks that if Day wasn't talking about Badminton, he'd think Day was talking about his ex.

- คู่ของผมเอง /khuu kaawng pom eng/ -> Day doesn't even feel the need to specify what kind of partner, the subs added the word 'badminton' - เขาขายเป็นคู่ /khao khaai bpen khuu/ - นี่กูเป็นพาร์ทเนอมึงนะเว้ย /nee guu bpen partner mueng na woei/

- มึงไปหาคู่ใหม่เหอะ /mueng bpai haa khuu mai huh/ -> หาคู่ /haa khuu/ = find a partner - กูก็ไม่ได้อยากจะคู่ใครหรอก ถ้าไม่ใช่มึงน่ะ /guu gaaw mai dai yaak ja khuu khrai raawk, taa mai chai mueng na/ = I don't wanna pair with anyone if it's not you.

ทุกวันเนี้ย เวลาเล่นยังคิดถึงมึงอยู่เลย /thook wan niia, weh laa len yang khit thueng mueng yuu loei/ -> คิดถึง /khit thueng/ literally means 'to think about/of' in a yearning kind of way so it's often translated as 'to miss sb./sth.'

August holds Day's hand and asks Mork (??!) for permission and then Mork's face after letting go of Day's hand and walking behind them hoo boy

An observation: With August it's monochromes, just as the headbands he got for the both of them are black and white. With Mork it's blue and orange and pink and just- vivid colors! I love that Day is caught between them in terms of feelings but also in terms of colors and clothing and framing while Mork is caught in the middle in this shot here, observing, relegated to the background, an outsider. P'Aof is so 😩👌

Cars & Care

Mork is thinking about his sister's car and how he feels responsible for taking care of it now because it's all he has left of her after he couldn't take care of her. Meanwhile, Day is remembering the fight he had with his brother in this same car and how it doesn't matter if he's taking care of the car if he doesn't really care for his own brother. I'm certain both their perspectives here are gonna come to a head once Night and the mom show up again or once Mork fully opens up about Rung.

Mork with Day

เราก็ว่างอยู่อะ /rao gaaw waang yuu a/ -> another instance of 2nd person pronoun เรา

He calls Day คุณหนู /khun noo/ (=young master) and uses polite male ending particle ครับ /khrap/ in both these instances. The first use of ครับ /khrap/ here is more teasing and sarcastic, the latter is just one of many instances during their practice date where it makes him sound sweet, the way you might use it with a partner.

subbed as baby is the word ที่รัก /thee rak/ = literally beloved, a term of endearment like darling, honey, sweetheart - layin' it on thick to tease and flirt lol

When Mork holds Day's hand under the menu, he calls him เธอ /ter/ - an informal 2nd person pronoun that's used a lot in songs, poetry, literature etc. and so it has a bit of a romance trope connotation. Outside of that, it's also used between female friends and by teachers to refer to students, for example.

พี่ว่าถ้าเดย์ผ่านด่านบอสเป็นสเต็กแล้วเนี่ย พี่ว่าเนี้ย หวานเจี๊ยบ /phi waa taa Day phaan daan boss bpen steak laao niia, phi waa niia waan jiiap/ = I think if you made it past the boss level that is steak then this is a piece of cake.

That's not a literal translation but I had to because I can't believe they didn't seize the chance to substitute a slang expression/meme with a pun at least lol - หวานเจี๊ยบ /waan jiiap/ basically means very sweet but หวาน /waan/ can also mean easy.

Mork the sunflower

Mork asks why Day likes sunflowers (him) when there are so many pretty flowers out there (better men) - Day says it's the flower's (Mork's) refusal of darkness, instead always turning its face (Mork's!) to look at the sun. 🥺 Mork is that positivity for Day!!

When Mork offers to buy the sunflower for him, Day declines - he can't see it so he thinks he can't appreciate it (MORK) the way it (M O R K) deserves (Day: น่าจะมีความสุขกว่า /naa ja mee khwaam sook gwaa/ = It'd be happier). About liking August he also said- I should've told him sooner so I'd still get the chance to see his face.

I can't wait for how ep. 6 is gonna unfold, this show has me insane 🫠

#last twilight #thai bl #jimmysea #local woman harps on about linguistics #this one feels significantly more chaotic than my last post but that's bc i literally hastily took these thoughts down after the ep. lol

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nolita-fairytale · 25 days

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so my darling | sydney adamu x the restaurateur (unnamed male oc) | oneshot

summary: sydney falls in love with a restauranteur (one played by pedro pascal). song title inspired by so my darling by rachel chinouriri.

warnings: swearing, unnamed ocs, talking about sex, use of she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, two original characters (the restaurateur & the pastry chef), the pastry chef is the mc from make my heart surrender, wong kar-wai films, ambiguous ending

wc: 4.8k

a/n: ok, so i'm not entirely back, but this photo of pedro pascal and ayo edebiri at the sag awards quite literally haunted me and made me write something about it. also i've really missed all of you. and i've missed these characters. and i miss this world. this oneshot feels really different to me than a lot of the things i've written for the bear and there isn't much inclusion of the other characters because i really, really wanted to write from sydney's perspective. it's limited storytelling in the way that it's mostly her experience of being charmed by the restaurateur but i had a lot of fun with this and i hope you enjoy. fic inspired by the pic below:

nolita fairytale's masterlist

Sydney doesn’t expect to win, yet her name is called out anyway, followed by the phrases: “James Beard Rising Star Award” and “the winner is.”

Most of the night is a blur. Somewhere between winning the biggest award of her career to accepting congratulations from the best chefs in the world, Sydney’s still trying to gather her bearings. It’s not until Carmy’s girlfriend, the woman who picked up her life and moved to Chicago to be with her exec chef, tugs at her arm.

Sydney doesn’t mean to completely reduce the woman to just Carmy’s girlfriend.

She’s also become many other things: the head pastry chef at The Bear, a colleague, and most importantly, a best friend.

“Hey, Syd! Carm wants to introduce you to someone,” she says, before giving Sydney a chance to politely excuse herself from the previous conversation she’d found herself in.

As The Pastry Chef leads her away from her present company, Sydney follows with a soft smile, half expecting it to be yet another celebrity chef—someone in Carmy’s network that reminds her why she began working at the Bear when The Bear was The Beef.

What she doesn’t expect is to meet him, her breath hitching in her throat as she and her best friend who’s dragged her over here, find themselves standing across from Carmy and an unfamiliar man.

“I see a congratulations is in order,” the man greets her, tipping his half-empty glass of champagne in her direction with a smile so charming she has to do a double take.

“To this year’s newest Rising Star chef.”

He’s handsome, sure—but that’s not what catches her eye.

The first thing Sydney notices about the man is his soft, dark curls—much cleaner than the unruly ones that belong to her head chef. He wears thick-rimmed rectangular glasses and has a perfectly groomed mustache that surprisingly works for him. It’s not usually her kind of thing, is all. In a white button down, perfectly tucked into his pristine black trousers, it's somehow still black tie with a touch of rebelliousness for forgoing a tie and a proper suit jacket.

He can’t be much older than Richie, she thinks to herself. What? Ten… maybe fifteen years older than herself?

Reality comes back to her, as she realizes that she hasn’t said a word, wondering just how long she’s spent caught up in her own head over the handsome stranger.

“Oh uh, yeah. Thanks,” Sydney replies with a smile and a nod, snapping back to her senses.

“Syd, this is… probably one of the few mentors I’ve had in my career. Well, him and Terry, ‘course,” Carmy begins to introduce, shyly. He’s not used to the one doing the introductions. “From Malibu.”

“Fairest Creatures,” the man clarifies with a hearty chuckle, citing the name of the restaurant they worked at together. “Way, waaaaaaay back in the day.”

Right.

The restaurant that put Carmy on the map, winning himself the same award that year that Sydney’s won tonight.

That’s when it clicks for her.

An old mentor of Carmy’s.

Not Terry.

And no, not that one—not the asshole from New York—to put it nicely.

The Restaurateur from California.

“No, I-. Yeah! I’m a big fan of your work, yeah,” Sydney scrambles to say, a glimmer of recognition in her eyes as she reaches out to shake his hand.

“Carmy was one of my early boys—look at him now. The student has far surpassed the teacher,” the chef adds, implying he’s mentored plenty of then-up-and-coming chefs back in the day.

“Oh thanks, but uh. Nah, I don’t know about that,” Carmy mutters, quick to brush off the older chef’s compliment.

Sydney can feel The Pastry Chef nudge her playfully, letting out a chuckle in response. The two exchange glances as Sydney follows her gaze from Carmy to his mentor.

“Oh they’re just being modest. Don’t think I’ve ever met two humbler chefs than these two,” the pastry chef adds with a playful eye roll, shooting her lover a look that doesn’t go unnoticed. “Which… if you ask me, is practically unheard of in this industry so… I consider us lucky, Syd.”

Sydney lets out a small, nervous laugh in agreement, before raising her own champagne glass to her lips as she finds herself, suddenly, parched.

She sees him again, weeks later, when the pomp and circumstance of winning a James Beard award has almost died down. She’d been quick to assume that, like many other chefs that weekend, he’d only been in town for the award ceremony, but as Sydney listens to the man tell Carmy that he’s moved to Chicago for “the foreseeable future,” she wonders why she never asked in the first place.

The Restaurateur had come in to say hello, for a meal, and Carmy had quickly declared that it would be on the house—eager to feed the best mentor he ever had in his California fine dining days.

“Yeah, I’ll be steppin’ in for Cuadros… when he goes on paternity leave… and we’re talking about expanding—what that could look like. Well, you know how it goes, Carm. Right now I’m just hangin’ out, helping out where I can between the two restaurants he’s got now,” he explains to Carmy with a nonchalance, as if he’s not a restaurateur whose reputation precedes himself.

“Ah, man. That’s cool. Well, you let us know if you need anything. I’ll give you mine and uh… Syd, you cool if I give him your number too?” Carmy asks, catching Sydney off guard.

“What do you-, I mean-?” Sydney begins to ask, unable to hide her surprise.

“Since he’s new to the restaurant scene here in Chicago. Can help each other out, you know?” Carmy returns, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess I-. Sure,” Sydney nods, forcing a small smile in an attempt to shake the ‘deer-in-headlights’ look she’s sure her face has involuntarily contorted itself into.

She watches her head chef carefully, as Carmy continues to interact with the restaurateur in a way that she’s never seen before. She’s never seen him this eager to try to impress someone—hell, sometimes she wonders if Carmen thrives on pretending like he doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks—so it’s sends her head spinning as she tries to reckon with this newly-revealed side of her business partner.

“That means a lot. Thank you–the both of you,” The Restaurateur replies, genuinely, bringing her back into the conversation.

“Sure,” Sydney manages to get out, still caught up in her head—exploring this new side of Carmy she has yet to see. “Anything for a friend of Carmy’s.”

“I’m at Amaru most of the time these days,” the restaurateur continues, his eyes shifting from Carmy then back to Sydney as he adds one last thing.

“You should stop by sometime.”

They exchange a few texts here and there, but it’s all business.

Who’s your preferred vendor for kitchen towels?

You guys see success with extended weekend hours?

Thoughts on being open on Monday?

“He likes you,” The Pastry Chef insists one day, in between lunch and dinner service. Sydney quickly shoves her phone back into her apron pocket, as if she’s a kid again—one who’s gotten caught texting in class.

“What? He does not! I-. This is-, it’s not-, we are two professionals… talking shop,” Sydney dismisses, because it’s easier to push those thoughts aside than to entertain them.

“Syd. He could be texting Carm but he’s texting you,” the her friend continues, completely and utterly unconvinced. Sydney finds herself on the receiving end that says, ‘cut the bullshit’ as The Pastry Chef continues.

“Even if it is… just about work, I think it says something that he’s texting you, Syd. I mean, do you know how long it took me and Carmy to-.”

“Okay, but not all of us are you and Carmy!” Sydney interjects, letting out an uncomfortable laugh as a means to break the tension.

Off her look, her friend just chuckles with a shake of her head, reminded of a time that she too could live this far in denial.

“If you say so,” The Pastry Chef resigns herself, accepting that she won’t make much progress on this one today.

She waits a beat, focused on cleaning up her station as Syd unconsciously checks her phone to see if there’s a notification from a certain someone yet.

“When are we going? To his restaurant, I mean,” The Pastry Chef speaks up again with a quirked eyebrow.

Could she really have noticed that? Syd wonders.

This time, Sydney only groans in response with a mumbled, “Fuck off. I am sick of you,” earning a bigger laugh this time from her pastry chef friend.

But the conversation seems to be the push she needs. It only takes a week or so longer for their days off to align, and Sydney’s the one bringing up the idea: that they should do a happy hour at Amaru to “show support” (and nothing else — really, no ulterior motives at all).

The Pastry Chef is more than enthusiastic about the idea, easily suggesting that they make it a girls’ night.

Which is how Sydney finds herself here, seated between her two biggest cheerleaders, Sugar one side of her, and her pastry-chef-colleague-turned best friend, at the bar of the Pan-Latin American neighborhood spot. She’s sure that Sugar was recruited for said girls’ night, in an attempt to get a second opinion on whether the handsome, older restaurateur is or is not in fact, into her.

She doesn’t hate the idea of it, for the record, but she wonders if they’re reading this all wrong—hesitant to get her hopes up.

But after the first plate—a gift from the kitchen—and the aperitif sent their way, both on the house, Sydney can only assume that The Restaurateur has something to do with it.

Of course, it’s easy to chalk it up to good hospitality. After all, hadn’t they done the same when he visited The Bear, a few things on the house Carmy insisted they send out? Isn’t it customary?

Sydney thinks back to how easily Carmy had given her number to the older chef, eager to extend as much support as possible to his previous mentor as he transitioned into the Chicago market.

But he wasn’t texting Carmy all that much. Just her.

She tries not to brush off yet another excuse: because she’s the CDC, not Carmy; because maybe he thinks Carmy, as the exec chef, doesn’t have the time when she does. Syd thinks she could go on and on like this, and instead, for a split second, she allows herself to think that maybe, just maybe, it’s because her friends aren’t all that wrong about this.

“You’ll have to forgive me. I wanted to come say hello earlier, but. Well, you know how it goes,” The Restaurateur says, earning the attention of all three women. While he acknowledges both of her friends warmly, he makes sure to he’s look at Sydney as he concludes with:

“I’m glad you came.”

“Oh, yeah. Thank you for everything. Seriously. Everything’s been amazing,” Sydney answers, wondering why it suddenly feels five degrees warmer inside of the restaurant.

Sugar snickers and the knowing look shared between her and The Pastry Chef doesn’t go unnoticed.

She just might have to kill her best friends later for this.

The Restaurateur smiles, and with a polite nod of his head, mutters a ‘thank you’ before her friends chime in with compliments, kudos, and their own respective ‘thank yous’ for the superb hospitality. Syd listens as he picks The Pastry Chef’s brain on their newest dessert addition, while Sugar enjoys what feels like a well-deserved second margarita. As The Restaurateur explains the most recent dishes he’s added to the menu since taking over as CDC, she notices that somehow, his focus and attention always seem to return to her.

He can’t visit for long, The Restaurateur apologizes—it is a busy night of service—and before she knows it, he bids his goodbyes before disappearing to the back of the house for the rest of the evening.

“Well he definitely likes you,” The Pastry Chef declares, as soon as he’s out of earshot.

“Oh. So obvious,” Sugar adds with a knowing smirk as the two exchange the exact same glance from earlier

“I’m gonna kill you guys,” Sydney mutters, her head hanging low as she feels a heat rush to her cheeks. She can’t make eye contact with either of them—not right now—or she might just burst into flames.

“Well, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you! That’s for sure,” Sugar clarifies, earning a nod of agreement from The Pastry Chef.

“See! This is what I’ve been telling her since… shit, since he came to The Bear a few weeks ago!” the pastry chef exclaims, sharing another looking with Sugar. “I think he likes you and I think you like him.”

Sydney opens her mouth to say something, but instead, just lets out an exasperated sigh, earning another round of giggles and exclamations of ‘I knew it!’ from her best friends.

They don’t stay for much longer, knowing they’re all due back at the restaurant in the morning. The three women say their goodbyes before parting ways, and as Sydney sits on the train, on the way home with her phone on do not disturb, she notices a few notifications waiting to be read.

A text from Carmy about the prep list.

The pics from tonight waiting for her to open in the group message labeled: Girlies.

And then, from the Restaurateur…

Thanks for bringing friends! It was great to see you.

There’s a familiar heat that warms her cheeks as her fingers race to reply:

Thank you for everything. The meal was incredible.

She waits before adding:

I’m glad we stopped by.

And almost instantly, there’s a reply:

Come back any time. :) With or without friends.

Come back any time. With or without friends.

The words linger in her head over the next few days. She lets them settle in, tossing them back and forth in her mind, while holding what feels like a fragile kind of excitement in her hands that’s somehow seemed to have buried itself deep inside of her.

So he is flirting with you, she thinks to herself, coming to the conclusion that her friends were perhaps right about The Restaurateur.

She doesn’t want to completely misread the situation, but she’s not sure how else she should interpret it either.

It takes Sydney two more weeks to work up the courage to go back to Amaru on her day off that week. Part of her wonders whether it’s been too long—if she’s missed her chance—and part of her knows that in the business they’re in, the days blur together, and two days become two weeks, become two months, and that he probably hasn’t even noticed that’s been that long. Her and The Restaurateur are both on Kitchen Standard Time, right? She’s not sure what takes over her, but she’s somehow mustered up the cajones (she can practically hear Tina’s voice in her head as she hypes herself up) to show up, this time, without friends.

Her risk does not go unrewarded, when he comes out to say hello. This time, he’s not alone, introducing her to his soon-to-be-business partner, Chef Cuadros, the owner of Amaru and his other venture, Bloom. They exchange pleasantries and congratulations (you know, over the huge fucking deal of an award she’s just recently won) before he pats The Restaurteur on the back, excusing himself back to the kitchen.

The Restaurateur chuckles, noting how much he’s looking forward to joining Cuadros’ restaurant group.

“Rodolfo’s a great guy,” The Restaurateur sighs, contently.

“Yeah, he seems great,” Sydney agrees, almost just to be polite.

“Yeah. Really leads by example. Rare to find that in this industry,” he chuckles, before changing the subject.

“Speaking of. Cuadros is closing up tonight which means I’m off, starting now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You wanna get a drink?”

She doesn’t even have to think about it.

“Yeah. I uh-, I’m in.”

“It’s devastating!” The Restaurateur declares, the passion evident as the words escape his lips.

“I mean, the transitions are a little choppy. And even they can’t take away the fact that: It. Absolutely. Without a doubt. 100% ruined my life,” Sydney wholeheartedly agrees, completely captivated this conversation—one that she finds incredibly sexy.

“I cry. Every single time,” the man that sits across from her says, a dopey smile plastered to his face and a heat to his cheeks from the second whiskey on the rocks he’s nursing.

“Every single time!” Sydney emphasizes, just to drive the point home.

“Because, well-, I mean, they just can’t catch a break! Always just a moment too late. It’s like… well, it’s like they’re never supposed to end up together in the first place,” The Restaurateur clarifies, in reference to what about the film is so goddamn devastating.

Syd nods with a sigh, examining the idea in her head cautiously, knowing that he’s right—even if she doesn’t want him to be.

A beat.

She leans in, the corners of her lips beginning to turn up into a smile.

“Have you seen Chungking Express?” she asks, because she’s ready to start this whole thing over again.

“Have I seen-? Are you-, of course I’ve seen Chungking Express,” the Restaurateur answers, building on their shared excitement about finding common ground outside of the kitchen. “I love Wong Kar-Wai so much I even put myself through My Blueberry Nights.”

“Okay, chill. It’s not a competition,” Sydney jokes, earning a full bellied laugh from The Restaurateur.

“You’re funny,” he states, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles back at her.

Her heart skips a beat, her breath caught in her throat.

The way he says it is genuine. It’s real. It feels… more earnest—more intimate than what should exist between two colleagues.

Then again, she didn’t exactly say ‘yes’ to drinks thinking it was just as colleagues.

“I-,” Sydney hesitates, scrambling to find the right words when it feels like so many of them could burst out of her at any minute.

Instead she settles on, “Thanks,” feeling more like Carmy than she’s ever felt in her life.

There it is again—that flutter in her belly.

This man is most definitely flirting with her, a thought that only mildly causes her to panic.

The moment feels almost too tender for either of them. Sydney shifts nervously in her seat while The Restaurateur takes another sip of his whiskey, before clearing his throat.

“I uh. I should probably get going. It’s uh… yeah. It’s getting late,” Sydney says, finding the words to excuse herself.

She’s not sure what she wants out of this—it’s maybe why she takes the out in the first place, thinking it may be best to end the evening here. Tonight was… more than she expected it to be, and she’s torn between wanting to stay and wanting to flee the great state of Illinois.

Better pause while we’re ahead, Sydney thinks.

“Yeah, no, of course,” The Restaurateur agrees, easily, before insisting that he pick up the tab.

“No, I-, I couldn’t let you-,” Sydney begins to argue.

“Please,” he insists, his tone once again rendering her once again at a loss for words. “You’ve been more than helpful to us over at Amaru since the minute I got here. This is on me.”

Syd spends the next few days going back and forth over whether or not it—whatever the hell the other night was—would be a good idea. She eventually concludes that she can’t stay away—from the high, from the way he made her feel when he insisted on paying the bill (a moment she’s replayed in her head over and over again), from him. She doesn’t tell anyone: not Nat, not The Pastry Chef, and certainly, not Carmy.

She sends the text before she can chicken out one Saturday night, as she finishes closing up.

Heading to Green Door Tavern for a night cap.

He puts her out of her misery, quick to respond as always, almost as if he was expecting her to (or waiting for her to, which, she decides is a little too much of wishful thinking).

I was just thinking about you! Just rewatched 2046 the other night. Want some company?

Yeah.

Let me close up. I’ll let you know when I’m on the way :)

The smiley face.

The fucking smiley face.

She discovers that the same dopey smile finds its way across his lips as soon as he enters the bar. The two of them quickly find themselves in yet another deep conversation about foreign films over, for him, a whiskey on the rocks, and for her, a tequila soda. There’s that same buzzing in the air between the two of them—chemistry, one might call it—as they move from Wong Kar-Wait to Jean-Pierre Jeunet with an ease that feels good to her.

Really good, actually.

So good that as soon as Sydney realizes it’s getting late, she doesn’t run in the other direction. She’s not sure what she’s expecting, but she thinks this time, she could stay. This time, she could talk to him till the sun came up, allowing herself to get lost in his soft brown eyes she finds more comforting than she should. It’s not till he brings it up that she notices again that:

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh shit. Yeah,” Sydney agrees, reluctantly, because she doesn’t want this night to end. Before she can say anything else, her body moves to get up, just half an hour away from last call.

The Restaurateur stops her, reaching out a hand that feels warm against hers as she pauses, her eyes locked with his.

“I hope it’s not uh, well, I hope it’s not inappropriate of me,” he begins, clearing his throat as he pauses.

“No, I-, I don’t want the night to-, you know… I lost track of time too and I-,” she stammers through, unsure of what she wants to say.

He smiles warmly, his hand moving to grab hers, as if, in spite of the fact that she can barely get the words out, he understands exactly what she’s trying to say.

“You can say ‘no,’” he prefaces with, a sure nod as his gaze returns to hers.

“Can I take you home?”

And the only response that makes sense to her is the biggest, most enthusiastic:

“Yes.”

Maybe it’s just a one time thing.

Okay, a three-time thing, considering it happened that night, then two more times after the sun came up.

But to Sydney’s surprise (and delight) he texts her later that day, and the one (three) time thing becomes a one to three times a week kind of thing (schedules permitting, of course).

They fall into a rhythm—and she likes this rhythm—they cook, work at their separate restaurants, and then she lets him fuck her into his mattress like they didn’t just work their own respective twelve-hours shifts.

The Pastry Chef lets out a laugh, noticing that it’s the third day in a row that Syd’s come in having ‘not gotten enough sleep’ yet still glowing.

“How’s the sex?” she smirks, shooting Sydney a look.

In return, Syd rolls her eyes, like she isn’t getting laid on the regular, her best friend waiting patiently for a proper answer.

She checks over both shoulders to ensure no one else is listening before lowering her voice.

“It’s the best sex of my life.”

She finally moves into her own apartment a month later.

Of course, it’s a decision she’s made on her own volition and has nothing to do with the hot Restaurateur who seems like he might have some kind of staying power—the same one that’s giving her the big bang of orgasms, but that’s besides the point.

No, it most certainly has nothing to do with that.

With Chef Cuadros officially out on paternity leave, The Restaurateur somehow still manages to find the time to help her move in between running two restaurants while developing the concept for a third.

It’s the first night he spends the night and they sleep—just sleep—since she started seeing him, though they christen the place in the morning.

“We’ve been talking about a full nixtamalization program. For the new spot,” The Restaurateur explains over breakfast tacos one morning—ones he made for her in her new apartment because, of course, they had to christen the place in more ways than one.

“Shit. That’d be dope,” Sydney replies, as they continue to bounce ideas back and forth. “Do you think you could pull it off in that small of a space?”

“I’m so glad you asked!” The Restaurateur grins, before going into a near-monologue about the handful of creative solutions he’s come up with, eager to soundboard a few ideas off of her.

But Sydney finds herself a little distracted.

It’s not that she’s not listening… but she’s got something else on the tip of her tongue that she’s been holding back. The Restaurateur is in the middle of breaking down the logistics, contemplating whether or not they could pull off what he’s labeled, Idea B, when Sydney finally musters up the courage to blurt out:

“I want to cook something for you. Like not in a restaurant, or anything. I mean. Here. I want to cook something for you here.”

“Yeah?”

A beat.

“Yeah, I mean. It doesn’t have to be like-, I don’t know, this big thing or anything. But. You’re always cooking for me,” she explains, unsure of why she feels so nervous as she continues. “I kinda want to return the favor.”

He only smiles.

“Then it’s a date.”

It started as the best sex of her life, but it’s as if he’s carved out a place in her life without her noticing, seamlessly woven himself into her life, and she, his, in a way that she can’t imagine what it was like before.

It simultaneously excites her and makes her feel uneasy.

Fuck.

She doesn’t really even know what she should call ‘it’ anyway.

They haven’t really talked about it—haven’t given it a label—but with shifts at The Bear for her, running two restaurants for him, and fleeting nights spent at each others’ places before it was time to do it all over again, it’s not like they’ve had the time.

She finds herself in late Fall, almost Winter, all dressed with a newly-done silk press at yet another James Beard fundraiser. Her coat was checked in long ago as she bares her shoulders in the near-off the shoulder, gingham-printed dress, with The Restaurateur by her side. He wears thick-framed glasses, his white-collared shirt unbuttoned low enough that she’s more than ready to head back to her place to undo the rest.

It practically gives her deja vu—the two finding themselves in an all-too-familiar place—as they stand across from Carmy and The Pastry Chef, sipping on their fancy champagne and making small talk to the best of anyone’s ability.

“Hope you guys don’t mind. Can we get a few pictures?” the event photographer asks as he approaches, noting that a picture of this year’s Rising Star award recipient is a must on his shot list.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Sydney replies, a kindness in her voice even through her discomfort.

It’s not lost on her that Carmy’s more than relieved that he doesn’t have to be in the spotlight anymore, eager to step out of the way.

She poses for a few photos solo before both Carmy and The Pastry Chef are encouraged to join in, taking a few more shots with her.

“And then can we get one of the two of you?” the photographer asks, this time gesturing towards The Restaurateur.

Sydney opens her mouth to protest, to let him off the hook, because what would that mean? Before she can say anything, The Restaurateur has happily agreed, wrapping an arm around her, his hand on the small of her back.

She exchanges a look with him, something that says, ‘are you sure?’

He only nods in response, a supportive smile and a softness in his eyes that puts her at ease as if to say, ‘of course.’

Instinctively, she reaches for him, his right hand landing softly against his midsection. She feels the warmth of his palm as his hand slides up, landing somewhere above her wrist, making another point of contact. Well, now they certainly look like a couple.

“Great! That’s great, you two,” the photographer grins after taking a few more shots, his eyes fixed to the screen on his DSLR as he plays back the last few photos. “Thanks so much.”

What could this mean?

What could this be?

She doesn’t have all the answers.

Not yet, at least.

But she’ll take a wild guess—one that fills her with a certainty that she can feel in her bones.

Because tonight, he stood proudly by her side—his hands all over her as if she were his, in a photo she’s sure will make it out of Adobe Photoshop—meaning maybe, just maybe, The Restaurateur could be here to stay.

#nolita fairytale's masterlist #sydney the bear #sydney adamu #sydney is the main character #sydney adamu x oc #sydney x male oc #sydney adamu fanfiction #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #the bear fanfiction #ayo edebiri #pedro pascal

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 1 year

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first of all, happy new year! i love your work and i hope you have a wonderful year! ❤️✨

second of all... I've been having such a brain rot from this picture. i cannot function thinking about it... to make matters worse, I've been listening to some old playlists and i came across this song. and idk i feel like the pic and the song kinda...pop off together. so i was thinking if you could write something based on the pic or the song or both maybe?

Hello lovely! It is great to hear from you. Very rare that anyone reaches out off of anon. I admire that!

Poor Aemond! He has been airbrushed to death here. He is beautiful as is. But unedited, I agree, this is a great photo of him.

I'm not really an Ed Sheeran fan, but I Googled the lyrics to see if any inspiration came to mind and picked out the following: "Yeah, I've been feeling everything From hate to love From love to lust From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you So I hold you close to help you give it up"

Hope you enjoy the little fic I have put together for the lyrics and picture!

Give It Up

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x female character (third person perspective) - strangers to enemies to lust to potential lovers Warnings: Mild smut. Mild violence. Dub-con if you squint. 18+ Word count: 1150 Eternal thanks and handies to @emlikestolurk & @lady-phasma for casting their eyes over this and tossing my word salad into something palatable. Love you.

______________________________________________________________

For weeks now, things have been going missing around the Red Keep.

First, an emerald brooch belonging to Alicent disappears. She cannot find it when she searches her jewellery box. Helaena is then devastated when she sees that her favourite necklace is gone, a Valyrian steel chain with a pendant in the shape of a spider, a ruby for its abdomen. She only took it off for a moment while she went to bathe, but when she came back to her bedchambers, it was no longer on the dresser where she left it.

The servants are questioned sharply and their quarters searched - however, nothing is found, and so the mystery remains unsolved. Aegon feels particularly aggravated upon waking one morning to find his beloved silver wine goblet has been taken from his bedside.

Additional guards are placed around the Keep to man all points of exit and entry. Yet, things of value continue to vanish into thin air.

It is early evening when Aemond returns to his chambers, having spent the afternoon in the yard sparring with Ser Criston Cole. He freezes when he sees the cloaked figure. He knows immediately that this is the culprit of the recent thefts. They disappear through an opening in the wall upon noticing his return, a passage into his chambers that Aemond never even knew existed.

He knows it would be wiser for him to raise the alarm with the guards and have them chase down this thief. But he also knows that every moment he wastes is another moment that they get further and further away, decreasing the chances of their capture. Without another thought, he throws on a cloak of his own to conceal his identity and gives chase.

The opening in his bedchamber wall leads to a winding stone staircase. He races down it, catching sight of the person as they reach the bottom and run out through a wooden door. Aemond hastens his pace, he pursues them down Aegon's High Hill via the twisting path of Shadowblack Lane.

The thief's pace is no match for Aemond's long strides and he quickly catches them up as they attempt to lose him down an alleyway at the bottom of the hill.

Angrily, Aemond yanks them back by the shoulder, spinning them around and slamming them back into the wall.

"What did you take from me?!" he demands, his hand seizing their throat as he awaits their answer.

Aemond's eye goes wide as their hood falls back, revealing a young woman - a beautiful woman. He had not been expecting that. Previous experience with miscreants convinced him that he would be apprehending a man.

Her eyes are fiery with anger; she juts out her jaw in defiance as she looks up at him. "Let me go, Prince!"

She spits the final word with such venom, as though it is an insult. It shakes Aemond from his state of shock, and he tightens his hold on her throat with renewed annoyance.

"Show me what you took." His voice is cool and calm sounding; however, his brow is furrowed with irritation, his nostrils flaring.

"Is the spoiled Prince going to miss his little trinket?" she pouts mockingly, holding out a silver dragon head cloak pin on the upturned flat of her palm.

Aemond's eye flickers downwards and she uses the momentary distraction to push back against him, attempting to escape. He is much too quick for her though, crowding her back against the wall, unsheathing his dagger and pressing it to her throat.

"Is the wretched little street rat going to miss her life, when I take it from her?" he sneers at her.

She says nothing. She is not afraid to die. She stares him down, maintaining eye contact, a silent challenge. Do it, I dare you.

Aemond had fully been expecting her to scream or at least plead for her life. He is stunned once more as he looks upon her, his face mere inches from hers.

She does not miss it when his gaze drifts to her lips, hesitantly lowering his blade. She lunges forward, sinking her teeth into his bottom lip so hard she tastes blood, before making another run for it.

He drags her back by the hood of her cloak and surprises even himself when he pulls her against him, kissing her hard.

She is taken aback by the Prince's actions at first, but finds herself melting into his embrace, the metallic tang of his blood hot in her mouth as she kisses him back. She breaks the kiss, letting out a light gasp when she feels Aemond's hands wander beneath her cloak.

Aemond lets out a satisfied "mmm" as he gropes at the warmth of her body through her clothes. She is soft and pliant against him. When their lips are no longer touching, he dives in to mouth hungrily at her neck. Ordinarily, he would never behave in such a depraved manner, but this woman's open defiance of him has seemingly awoken something within him that he is unable to render dormant again.

She fights hard to keep her wits about her as her body betrays her with its wanton response to Aemond's attentions, her head becoming foggy with lust. Deciding to take matters into her own hands, she uses his unguarded stance to push him back against the wall. Their lips meet once again, a sloppy mess of blood, teeth and tongues as her hand creeps its way up his solid thigh muscle.

Aemond's breath hitches as he feels her fingers wandering up his leg. He grunts as they slide home to grasp at his cock. He is hard. Of course he is; how could he not be when this temptress has been taunting him since he first laid eyes upon her?

She smirks as she feels his want for her through his breeches. Their lips cease their movements, but do not part as they pant against each other. Her hand takes a firm grasp of him through the material, moving it up and down.

Aemond's eye flutters closed as he voices a groan. Her touch builds a pressure at the base of his spine. His hips buck to meet her hand. And then she is gone.

His eye snaps open in time to catch a glimpse of her running full speed away from him down the alley. He does not chase after her. Shock keeps his feet planted firmly to the floor as he struggles to catch his breath and bring himself back to reality.

It's then that he realises he is no longer in possession of his dagger - he never got his cloak pin back from her, either.

"Shit!" he exclaims quietly, turning and heading back to the Red Keep.

When Aemond returns to his chambers that evening, he leaves the door to the passageway in the wall slightly ajar. Should she ever choose to come back, he'll be ready for her.

#aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #aemond one eye #aemond stannies #hotd #pro aemond targaryen #prince aemond targaryen #hotd aemond targaryen #aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen smut #hotd smut #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen fan fiction #aemond targaryen fanfiction #hotd fanfic #hotd fan fiction #hotd fanfiction

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foxykatie425 · 3 months

Text

Jedi: Fallen Order - The Musical (Act 1)

Wait, hear me out…

Alright look, I am fully aware that trying to turn Jedi: Fallen Order into a musical is a dumb idea. I am fully aware that Star Wars in general would probably not benefit from the musical treatment. And I am fully aware that even when people hear me out, there’s not a single human on this earth that really cares or has interest in this idea. And honestly, why should they? It’s not even like I have songs to offer, because despite my music degree, I am a really lousy songwriter!

However, all that being said, I really enjoy the problem-solving challenges that come with adapting a story for a very different medium than originally intended! And when I get my stupid ideas, I want to share them and get them outta my head! So while I have a captive audience, I’m gonna share some of my main ideas for Act 1 of Jedi: Fallen Order - The Musical! If anybody actually cares to read, please like this post, leave comments, reblog or whatever so I can find my drive to finish writing out my main ideas for Act 2! (And if you are not interested in reading 4500 words of my incoherent brainstorming, go ahead and keep scrolling. I will not be offended!)

Act 1

To start the show off, I think it would be somewhat poignant if, at the end of the overture, a single light comes up on Cal and he says the line “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…” before immediately transitioning into Bracca.

I imagine the introduction to the scrappers guild to be a Newsies style dance number, although perhaps not quite as happy.

The opening scenes on Bracca need to lay the foundations for the audience: who were the Jedi? What happened to them? And what is the current state of the galaxy? We have to assume, to an extent, that the audience has no background knowledge of Star Wars.

We also need to establish Cal’s current state of mind- fearful and alone. His only goal is to stay alive. He doesn’t trust anyone, but at the same time he does have friends that he cares about, such as Prauf.

Speaking of Prauf, odds are he’d be adapted into a human or humanoid character for this show. There’s nothing saying his character has to be an Abednedo, and it would be a lot of work to turn an actor into this alien character when said character is killed very early on. The actor would likely join the ensemble for the remainder of the show.

Let’s talk about Cere. Not much about her character would need to change, but without video game restraints confining us to Cal’s perspective, it becomes easier to flesh out Cere’s character arc a bit more. We can have the chance to see inside her head, and we can also have one or two scenes where she has the stage to herself.

Cere’s backstory can also be expanded on. Not only would I have her tell the story of how she tried to lure the imperials away from Trilla a bit earlier in the narrative, I would also have the scene play out onstage from Cere’s perspective so the audience actually gets to see young Trilla (and it foreshadows later when we get to see the exact same scene from Trilla’s perspective). There could also be two or three scenes throughout the first act where we get to see more flashbacks of Cere being a master. Perhaps as she gives advice to Cal, she reflects on times she had to give the exact same advice to Trilla (which could also have the added side effect of making Cal and Trilla interesting foils to each other).

Now Greez you could portray on stage a few different ways. I probably wouldn’t turn him into a humanoid character like with Prauf, because 1) he’s in the show for a lot longer, and 2) if all of your main characters are human it makes it difficult to portray the setting as “a galaxy far, far away.” For an alien species that’s meant to be so short in stature, you could potentially do him as a puppet, kind of like the way Olaf is done in Frozen the Broadway Musical, but I’d probably lean away from that because with a story as serious as this one, some strong emotions could get lost in translation. More likely, I’d try to cast an actor who is shorter in stature (most likely not quite Greez sized, but we just suspend our disbelief) and give him some prosthetic makeup and an extra set of arms that can be puppeted to mimic his real arms. (You might also be able to create his short stature by having the actor on his knees, like Lord Farquaad in Shrek the Musical, but again, you start to risk turning the character into a joke.)

As far as Greez’s character arc, it unfortunately comes off as a bit of an afterthought in the game (aside from the Haxion Brood level) but there is a bit that can be expanded on. He started off accepting Cere’s charter in an effort to pay off his debts, but he eventually comes to believe in her and in her quest. It’s not highlighted very much in JFO because a lot of that growth happened before Cal came into the picture. The most we get to see is his underlying dislike for Cal at the beginning grow into respect and eventually care. In a stage show, his arc would still have to be secondary to Cere’s and especially Cal’s arc, but he could definitely be played as a Han Solo-type character who took a job for money that slowly comes to mean more to him.

You can’t have a Jedi game, or a Jedi musical, without Cal’s best buddy BD-1. Now being a droid, and a very small droid at that, BD-1 would be puppeted onstage by an actor in a similar style to the characters in Avenue Q or Finding Nemo: The Musical. I tend to imagine BD-1 being played by a petite young woman (namely, a dancer) but nothing says it has to be. Since BD-1 doesn’t speak English (sorry, Basic!) it would be a silent role with BD’s beeps and trills being produced by a soundboard, probably controlled by someone in the booth rather than by the actor. However, the actor would bring life to BD-1 through their motions and facial expressions. And despite being a non-speaking and non-singing role, I do imagine BD-1 being front and center in every dance number!

The puppet for BD-1 would need to be lightweight and maneuverable. Due to the distance between the stage and the audience, it would probably need to be larger in scale than BD-1 is necessarily meant to be. It could feature some color changing lights that would likely be controlled by the actor. The entire puppet would be independently controlled by the actor rather than being attached to Cal’s back, however there could also be another version of the puppet that could be strapped to Cal’s back for scenes where BD-1’s absence wouldn’t make sense but a lack of contribution to the scene would make the presence of the actor onstage somewhat awkward (for example, some more personal scenes between Cal and Merrin).

Next character to discuss is Eno Cordova. He would likely have about the same level of involvement as he did in the game, although some bits of his instructions may be altered somewhat to make his quest a little less of a wild goose chase. (I mean let’s be real, he coulda just said “you need an Astrium to unlock the vault, there’s one on Dathomir, go get it.”) He would probably not be a singing role, but he would be portrayed by an actor on the stage, with the hologram effect being achieved by simply highlighting him with a blue spotlight.

Okay, now we get to the bulk of the story and our three main planets: Zeffo, Kashyyyk, and Dathomir. There’s a lot to talk about with these three locations, both individually and collectively, but let’s start with set design. For any show that features as many different locations as this one, you’d be best to have a unit set that doesn’t move that can function as all of those locations. I imagine this show having a large set with several different levels of platforms (it is a “platforming” video game after all) and the primary visual indication that we’ve changed locations would be different colored lights illuminating the cyclorama, the white backdrop at the back of the stage. Likely the choice of color for each planet would match the color of each planet on the holomap in the game (green for Kashyyyk, red for Dathomir, etc). There can also be props brought onto the stage that help indicate a change of setting, such as bringing out Greez’s pilot chair when we return to the Mantis.

As I hinted at before, Cordova in the game basically sends Cal out on a wild goose chase. Yes it’s meant to test him, but ultimately the only one of those three planets where Cal actually retrieves something tangible he needs to complete his quest is Dathomir. Now that works for a video game where there’s things for the player to do along the way, but for a passive audience who is watching rather than participating in the story, there needs to be a better reason for Cal to go to each planet. That’s not to say that Cordova should give him all of the answers, but perhaps there is something that Cal needs to retrieve from each tomb. Perhaps the Astrium comes in three different pieces. Yes, there are two tombs on Zeffo and none on Kashyyyk, but Cordova was here first after all. He wasn’t going to put back whatever pieces he found, but he also didn’t get all of them because he found another Astrium somewhere. Cal knows this because he found that Astrium destroyed in the vault. So he goes to Zeffo and through the Tomb of Eilram only to find that Cordova already took the piece that was there. BD plays the recording where Cordova talks about Tarfull and Kashyyyk, leading Cal to believe Cordova left the piece there and that Tarfull would know where to find it. He goes to Kashyyyk and fights alongside the Partisans, but he is unable to find the piece without Tarfull’s help, so he will have to return when the Partisans find him. Out of other leads, Cal remembers Cordova saying something about Dathomir, so he decides to search there. When he reaches the Tomb of Kujet, he finds that he needs the other two pieces of the Astrium to enter so he can retrieve the third. (Because in this context we can’t really use game mechanics like double jumping as a reason for why we can’t continue.) At the same time, Cere hears about Project Auger being restarted, and they return to Zeffo to search for the Tomb of Miktrull. Beyond this, the sequence of events would largely follow the remainder of the game.

Zeffo would probably be the hardest of the three planets to adapt to the stage because, with the exception of Cal’s confrontation with Trilla, not much really happens there. Much of your time on Zeffo in the game is spent traversing the land and solving puzzles in the tombs, all of which is less than exciting for a passive audience. Some kind of story beats would need to be added to Cal’s time on Zeffo (especially the first visit) that makes up for all the combat and platforming that doesn’t really translate to the stage. The story of JFO already has the slight inconvenience of being largely concentrated in the second half of the game, while in most musicals the first act tends to be longer. (And the game provides a perfect built-in spot for an intermission when Cal gets captured by the Brood, so I don’t really want to change that either.) There aren’t a lot of people for Cal to meet on Zeffo, so you could create a new character(s) and give them their own little subplot, but that runs the risk of creating one too many plot lines for the audience to follow as well as having little impact on the overall story. So more likely you would use that time to teach the audience about the Zeffo and have constant communication between Cal and Cere.

Believe it or not, at one point I considered cutting Kashyyyk entirely. But it’s important to show the early stages of rebellion against the Empire and have Cal get a taste of fighting back. Plus, the Partisans create an opportunity for a pretty fun dance number! However, I probably would cut out Saw Gerrera, simply because the more iconic the character is, the harder it is to translate them to the stage. (Obviously we’re gonna run into that same problem with Darth Vader, but we’ll discuss that when we get there.) Instead, I’d probably single out Mari Kosan as the leader of this group of Partisans, but mention that she is working under Saw. The great thing about Mari is that she’s so minor a character in the game that she can be a completely different character in an adaptation. You might even call her a completely new character with only her name being borrowed from a background character in the game. In this sense, we’d get to see the extremist side of the Partisans through her actions rather than Saw’s, but probably not until Cal returns to Kashyyyk in Act 2. (Also, if it proved necessary for the narrative, you could get away with killing off Mari, something you couldn’t do with Saw.)

I talked about iconic characters not translating well to the stage. Well, let’s talk about Wookiees and Stormtroopers. We certainly can’t go to Kashyyyk without seeing some Wookiees, but we’d want to keep their stage presence to a minimum. Creating their look in a live setting, while certainly possible, is not necessarily easy, and it quickly runs the risk of appearing fake to the point of being distracting, thus breaking the audience’s suspension of disbelief. Stormtroopers, on the other hand, would be a very easy, iconic look to recreate. Too easy, in fact. Despite the fact that they tend to be the butt of every Star Wars joke, the presence of Stormtroopers still needs to be felt as a threat, and that threat can be very quickly undermined if they are overused onstage. Not to mention, the moment you put Stormtroopers in a dance number, it becomes Star Wars Weekends at Disney World. So we’re gonna leave the dance numbers to the scrappers, the Partisans, and maybe the Dathomirians.

Speaking of Dathomir, we have to get there early. Obviously in the game you have the option to go there early on, but you don’t have a story reason to go there until much later. In the game, the crew returns to Zeffo right after they first visit Kashyyyk because Cere gets word of the Empire finding the other tomb. But in this case, let’s say she doesn’t hear about that until after Cal first visits Dathomir. We need to get to Dathomir early because 1) Merrin is far too important a character to be introduced in the second act, and 2) as previously mentioned, the second act is very story heavy and we need to shift some of that into the first act to make it slightly more balanced.

Finally it’s time to talk about Merrin! Her character in the first game was so underused and this adaptation offers the chance to expand on her story. (Although I need someone to hold me back a little, because she’s my favorite character but I need to be reminded that this is not her story. She cannot be a bigger character than Cal or Cere.) Introducing her earlier gives the audience more time to think of her as an antagonist, as they watch her repeatedly reject Cal’s attempts to reach out to her.

Let’s talk special effects, because Dathomir is where that really gets fun. Much of the appearance of Merrin’s magick can be achieved with the use of clever lighting and purposeful staging. Her ability to teleport can be mimicked by having her enter the stage in darkness and then using green lighting and perhaps some fog to illuminate her. Magick flames in her hands can be a combination of lighting and some classic magician props. (Disclaimer: Serious safety precautions would have to taken if we’re considering playing with actual fire though!) And the effects of her magick on her eyes and mouth can be achieved with black-light makeup that is invisible in regular lighting.

Now if there’s one person that tries to convince Cal that Merrin is a threat that can’t be reasoned with, it’s Malicos. As in the game, Cal would encounter this “wanderer” on the path to the Tomb of Kujet. He tells Cal that he was marooned on this planet when he came to study the Dathomirian culture, and that he has been hiding from the Nightsister, who he claims has repeatedly tried to kill him without hearing what he had to say (much like she tried to kill Cal upon their first encounter). Cal offers to help him escape the planet, but Malicos rejects this offer, stating that he has not yet completed his research on the planet (red flag # 1). Cal explains his mission, and Malicos explains that the ruins are surrounded by darkness and the magick of the Nightsisters. He tells Cal that Merrin will throw everything at him to keep him from entering the Tomb, and he tries to convince him that the only way to complete his quest is to kill her before she kills him (red flag # 2). But Cal, beginning to suspect he has ulterior motives, dismisses him and continues on to the Tomb. What Cal doesn’t know yet is that Malicos is also pulling the strings on Merrin’s side and actively trying to pit them against each other in the hopes of solidifying his control over whoever came out on top, as well as to keep them from uniting against him, which he knows would likely happen if his lies to Merrin about the massacre were exposed.

I debated a bit whether I should try to work in the romance between Cal and Merrin. Putting them together in Fallen Order definitely runs the risk of coming off rushed, and the way it was handled in Jedi: Survivor was perfect and probably could not be outdone. However, musicals don’t tend to get sequels (unless it’s Love Never Dies) and especially if we’re expanding on Merrin’s character, you can’t really write her and Cal together without there being sexual tension, and the audience will want to see that resolved, so I guess we’re going for it! (And besides, it’s my musical and I want to!) However, I still want Merrin to be an antagonist for most of the story, and prior to fighting Malicos I don’t want slip into the overused tropes of “he saved her life” or “they had to work together to survive.” The dynamic I’ve come up with instead bears a slight resemblance to Rey and Kylo Ren (cuz let’s be honest, Merrical is everything Reylo wishes it was!). Their first encounter is basically the same as the game, where she tells him to leave and sends the Nightbrothers after him. Take note that when I envision this scene, I have Merrin standing above Cal on one of the higher levels of the set (she had the high ground!). However, I’ve created a new scene between them in Act 1 while Cal is making his way back to the Mantis to return to Zeffo. He stumbles upon her praying to her fallen sisters for guidance, having taken off her hood and cloak. (Metaphorically, it’s almost like he catches her indecent.) Caught off guard and scared, Merrin prepares to defend herself, but Cal shows her that he has no intention of fighting her right now, and Merrin, knowing she wouldn’t win any fight she started in this moment, stands down. This scene gives an interesting visual representation of the power dynamics between the two of them, because where she stood high above him in her first scene, they now stand on the same level, which is made even more interesting if the actor playing Cal happens to be taller than her. Cal explains that he is leaving, but will return, and Merrin proclaims that she will be ready to face him when he does. He tells her about his mission and informs her that the Jedi have been wiped out, but importantly it never comes out that she believes the Jedi killed her family. They sing a counterpoint duet detailing their differing points of view, with Merrin stubbornly refusing to believe Cal’s Jedi “lies.” (This is actually the only song I’ve named: “Fool Me Once.” Fill in the rest of the saying.) By the time the scene ends, the audience should not yet be thinking that Merrin will eventually become Cal’s ally. However, the scene would definitely include noticeable sexual tension during their argument, mostly being in each other’s personal space for a hair too long and some extended eye contact.

Now that I’ve beaten that scene into the ground, let’s go back to Zeffo. Cal explores the Tomb of Miktrull and finally finds the first of the three pieces of the Astrium before encountering (hang onto your hats) the Second Sister, aka Trilla Suduri, Cere’s former Padawan! (Dun dun duuunnnn!!) Nothing super noteworthy changes in this section of the story except that Cal doesn’t encounter Trilla until after he explores the Tomb.

Remember those flashback scenes I was talking about with Cere and Trilla? This is what they’ve been leading up to. In the game, when Trilla takes her helmet off, the only reason we know who she is, is… well, she says so. However, if we see flashbacks of Trilla earlier in the show, now the audience recognizes the face under the mask. Now I know what you’re thinking: “won’t the voice give it away?” Not necessarily, if you’ve got a good enough actress. For all intents and purposes, Trilla and the Second Sister, much like Anakin and Darth Vader, are two different characters and should be treated by an actor as such. A good actress could make her tone and delivery so different between the two characters that first-time viewers wouldn’t put them together (as long as the playbill doesn’t give it away). But even if the audience does figure it out, I don’t think the fact that Trilla became an inquisitor is the biggest revelation in this scene. Because let’s be honest with ourselves, in terms of Star Wars plot twists, that one was a little predictable. But no, the bigger revelations are that Cere betrayed Trilla by giving up her location, she used the dark side in the aftermath, and perhaps most damningly, she has been keeping secrets from Cal.

Alright let’s talk stage combat. For this fight in particular, much like the game, it would get cut short and end up being more talking than fighting. But in general, stage combat tends to be more dance-like movements than martial arts. We’re not going for prequel-style lightsaber duels here. Plus, on stage, you only get one take, so you can’t exactly afford for anyone to get hurt halfway through. We’ll talk a little bit more about lightsaber effects later, but suffice to say, the stage combat, while important, comes second to the emotions surrounding the scene.

So BD-1 cuts the fight short by activating a laser gate between Cal and Trilla. Trilla reveals her past and sings about how you can never trust anyone before leaving. Now on stage alone, Cal finishes out the song by briefly lamenting why Cere didn’t tell him the truth. He hears another disturbance just offstage and prepares to defend himself before being hit by a stun grenade and knocked out by an unknown bounty hunter. Blackout.

End Act 1

So those are my notes on Act 1 of Jedi: Fallen Order - The Musical. I’ll be posting my Act 2 notes in the near future, but before I go, I want to quickly discuss the vocal ranges of each of the characters.

- Cal: Being a classic male hero, Cal would almost certainly have to be a pretty high tenor. However, he shouldn’t be like a squeaky tenor, for lack of a better phrase; his tone should be more round and even. (I’m just gonna say it- Cal probably shouldn’t have gay voice! I’m sorry, I don’t mean that in an offensive way, I just don’t have a better way of describing what I mean!)

- Cere: She would definitely be a low alto. (If we’re talking Broadway, I’m picturing Heather Headley or someone similar.) Not only would that be a good match for Debra Wilson’s voice in the game, but a lower singing voice is often used to portray age. It helps give the audience the impression that she is older and wiser than Cal.

- Greez: He’s a little tricky, but I’d probably put him somewhere in the mid-range, maybe a high-end baritone. I’m not locked into that though, I could also possibly imagine him as more of a low tenor.

- Merrin: Okay some people are gonna disagree with me here, but I would not make Merrin an alto. She can’t have the same range as Cere. That’s not to say I think she should have a super high singing voice, more like low mezzo soprano. But her voice should be powerful; I’m thinking like an Idina Menzel-style belter. (I mean, she is a witch, after all!)

- Trilla: Lemme start by saying that Trilla would not sing with her helmet on, so her first song probably wouldn’t be until the Act 1 finale. I imagine her having a very similar range to Merrin, with perhaps a slightly darker tone.

- Ninth Sister: We’ll talk about her more in Act 2, but she would definitely be a very low alto. She’s a big character, and generally the bigger the instrument, the lower the pitch. She also leans very heavy on the melodrama.

- Malicos: Now odds are he wouldn’t sing until Act 2, but he would definitely be a low baritone, if not a bass. I’ve been comparing him to Claude Frollo from Hunchback, both in terms of his character and his voice. So I would definitely imagine his voice sounding a bit aged, although the actor would also need to be able to do at least a small amount of stage combat, so he might have to be slightly younger than we might imagine the character.

- Sorc Tormo: Speaking of Hunchback, here we’ve got our Clopin Trouillefou. Eccentric and dramatic, Sorc Tormo would be the one to have that squeaky tenor voice that I didn’t want for Cal. (Now HE can have gay voice!)

- Jaro Tapal: I’ll throw him in because I haven’t decided whether or not he would sing, but if he does, he would most definitely be a bass.

One other note about casting: I am in my mind imagining the characters being played by actors who look similar to the actors in the game, with Cal, Greez, and Merrin all being white, and Cere and Trilla being people of color. However, the beautiful thing about a story like this is that there is absolutely no reason that you couldn’t colorblind cast every single one of the characters.

But I think I’ve rambled on enough for now. If anyone is actually still reading up to this point, thank you for indulging me! You are my favorite! Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments, because I have no one to discuss this topic with and it would make me really happy… 🥺🫶

Act 2 coming soon!!

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salty-an-disco · 6 days

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hello! i remember you making a post featuring songs you associated with each of the chapter 2s from slay the princess way back in… december, i think?

did you ever make a post for songs you associated with the chapter 3s? if you did, i couldnt find it; but then again, tumblr’s search system is famously garbage, so… 🤷‍♂️

if you did make a post like that, would you mind linking it here? i’d be very grateful if you did 🙏

I did post about that, but I also can’t find it anymore (damn you Tumblr search system), and since I formed a lot of new opnions since then, anyway, might as well do it again–

Anyway– songs I associate with the Chapter 3’s, version 2.0!!!

The Wraith: What Could Have Been by Sting (something something, continually denying the princess even a chance turns her into a bitter monster of your creation)

The Fury: Snakes by Miyavi & PVRIS (the ‘You’ve Fucked Up and Now I Hate You’ track)

The Wild: Exhale Inhale and All is Soft Inside by AURORA

The Thorn: Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

The Apotheosis: A Good Song Never Dies by Saint Model

The Eye of the Needle: Get Up by Mother Mother (fits both Skeptic and Hunted’s variation, to me, as they’re both coaching you on to remeet the Princess)

The Den: Villain by Stella Jang (chose this animatic in specific, cuz I think it fits really well with Beast in general)

The Burned Grey: A Dangerous Thing by AURORA

The Drowned Grey: Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! by Will Wood (Skeptic’s perspective), Unknown / Nth by Hozier (Prisoner’s perspective)

The Moment of Clarity: The Silent by Tragic Tantrum, and Almost Human by Voltaire

The Arms Race: When Everything Went Wrong by Fantastic Negrito (originally put this one as Razor’s song, in general, but I think it fits much better as just the Arms Race. I see Normalize by Mother Mother as more of a Razor song now)

The Empty Cup: Turn Out the Lights by The Crane Wives (when you think about it, it really fits with the route where Quiet manages to reign in his thoughts and humble the princess)

#slay the princess #stp princess #the shifting mound #songs association #mailbox #I think you can really tell the full range of my music taste through these kinda posts lol

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 9 months

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I love to see my biases get the BB 1s, but when one starts making that their goal, hmm that kind of disconnects me from them as an artist.

I won't say more. I just wish artists I stan placed more focus on the art. Let charts happen naturally.

You're blog isn't like the blind fandom, so I am saying this here.

It's not hard to see through things. Chapter 2 has been interesting so far. I am not making any opinions based of things that are happening, but if it becomes a pattern with the artist, well... that's a problem.

Anon, we both know who were're talking about, lol. I'm gonna use the names, for the sake of making it easier for me to write a response.

A few weeks ago, I was watching this documentary about Wham. Some light entertainment for me initially, but it did offer me the chance for a fresh perspective. I don't exactly remember the details, but they've reached a point in which George Michael wanted to have 4 songs to reach number 1 on some chart, the fourth being Last Christmas. He was a bit obsessed with this and he also wanted to be a bigger artist. In later archival interviews, Michael actually mentions it was his ego as an artist because he knew he could. And he did, he outgrew the boyish band and the situation was almost ideal because Andrew, his bandmate, also knew that. It also meant getting away from their carefully constructed image, the object of desire for teenagers and women everywhere. For George, it was also about stepping away from performing a specific type of heteronormativity that can be found in boy bands. It never crossed my mind while watching it that his ego is too big, or why is he so obsessed with the charts. Maybe because it was all in the past and I've seen what the future would hold for him. Or that when I heard him talk about what he wants to achieve and his inner struggle, there was sincerity there and also that drive that only someone really young can have when they believe they can do anything.

I've read Jungkook's Weverse interview and listened to what he had to say during the Seven promotions. And while there may be some comparisons to be made to how George Michael came across when talking about his musical career, there were also some differences.

I'm glad to see Jungkook being more confident. I remember some of the things he used to say in the past, about his self worth, a lack of confidence and meaning outside the group. That wasn't healthy. And to hear him now, especially on Suchwita, it's a 180° change. But in his case, there's a very fine line between being confident and becoming cocky. And that's not a good look. It's almost like he's trying to project an image of a new Jungkook but one that is still in the works and not all parts fit perfectly together. He's going through a transformation ever since the hiatus, which I expected. It was about having to adapt to a different pace, life after 10 years of being part of a group. Jungkook was always trying to find his identity and this single is only one step in that journey.

But that doesn't mean that I as a fan and as a person, have to like it. If it doesn't match with what I'm looking for in the artists that I'm interested in, then so be it. I will talk about it, but I'll also not follow that person's musical career anymore. If I don't like the artistic direction and I don't like this overconfident, slighly exaggerated bravado, then that's it.

It's also impossible to not make a comparison to Jimin. Not for some dick measuring contest (it's what pjms and jjks are doing), but because there is room and justification for it. Both are from the same kpop group, both have embarked on a solo career and both chose a more mainstream pop music, as opposed to their older bandmates. And both got that BB 1. And what we can compare is song quality, artist reaction and how the company's response came across into fan spaces.

In terms of the songs, I could write entire essays because at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter. It's all subjective. There is no rule that says a number one song should be about some personal experience, or the singer should have writing credits on it. And I also can't take away my subjectivity. I will chose Like Crazy over a song that not only sounds like a Bieber tune from years ago, but also has lyrics as if they were written by the boys from Larry Clark's Kids.

As to the reaction, Jimin did exactly what I expected him to do. He was humble, grateful and emotional and we saw that when he turned on the livestream. It's what makes him who he is and how he always behaves. As opposed to that, Jungkook wanted to be appear cool. And for what? Especially when later he said how excited he actually was but he refrained from expressing that. Where's the authenticity that he seeks so much through his livestreams? Because he released a song about sex for which he never officially performed live the explicit version, that means that the attitude should match that? I know the next day he was live and he was really nice. But that entire event is tainted in my mind with this almost expectation and confidence that he'll get that no. 1 and after he got the western validation, they decided to remember there's fans at home too and went to Inkigayo.

Which leads me to the last point that shows the obvious bias and preference that cannot simply be denied when it comes to BH. It's even more obvious because the entire BTS brand was that there are no favorites, which is not the same strategy as with other companies and groups. And now, all of a sudden, there is. It's great that BH celebrates an artist's success and they can immediately put on a show. But it doesn't justify how the first one to have the achievement was ignored. I have to admit, I was happy when Jimin got his no. 1 because I thought it only meant more promotions, more Jimin, more of everything. Just to be left utterly confused.

I've put that all in the past and I really try not to get too emotionally involved because as an individual, it has no bearing on my personal life and it doesn't have that many negative effects on my fan engagement.

I side eye Jungkook for how he presents himself in official promotions, but then he goes live and all of a sudden, it's the Jungkook that I'm used to. The guy who is a dork and funny and grateful to his fans. The one who cries hearing fan songs and who still beats himself up for hours because he messed up a song. I do criticize some of his actions and statements, but I'm not slandering him. The guy seems like a genuinely nice person and I still like him. He's still one of my biases for many reasons. But me having this reaction to content catered specifically for fans to create a more intimate connection is something BH was always good at. We only have to look at all the BTS footage out there. They've perfected the way in which personality comes first a lot of the times. It's what draws fans in (aside from music) and what keeps them interested. I'm part of that.

I'm convinced that it's most likely that a Jungkook fan or army or whoever disagrees with me, will read all this and believe I hate Jungkook. Which would be a shame because all I'm trying to do is explain how complex this situation is. It's never as black and white as solo stans would like everyone to believe and it's not a debate that can be generalized and tossed aside as solo talk by the ot7 chorus. I'm sure there are a lot of reasonable people in this fandom still who are able to have more than one thought in their head and see that only through a naunced discussion we can look at facts, see what's an exaggeration and what's false. To be able to distinguish between facts and personal opinion and also to admit that. That's not possible if we're not looking at these people as complex beings, instead of victims and villains.

#m thoughts #jimin #jungkook #bts solo careers

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blurryfce300 · 2 months

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i need to get these thoughts out of my brain before i explode okay

so clancy huh? it’s quite a bit more violent than i think any of us were expecting for the final dema story album, isn’t it? not in terms of the music but really in terms of where it tells us the story is headed. and it feels odd to me that the supposed end of this story is centered arøund fire and absolute destruction. like youve got clancy (whø i will be calling tyler før the sake of simplicity but he is also clancy i have a whole post about that) whose main goal currently is to recruit from inside dema and destroy it. then the character who we’ve seen as the leader of the rebellion, the torchbearer (josh) is standing off to the side? he’s just in tyler’s periphery, hence him being blurred in every promotional image we’ve had minus the apple music ones.

so tyler wants complete and total destruction of dema, or at least of its structure. he wants revenge. the problem with this is that he is trapped in tunnel vision so badly that he døesn’t see what’s happening to him. “i fly by the dangerous bend symbol” the dangerous bend symbol is there tø warn yøu that you have a high chance of making a serious mistake, and in some defintions, a common mistake. tyler is ignoring every warning sign being shoved in his face from every direction, and it’s turning him into what he wants to take døwn. he’s using the same methods the bishops use (psyhokinesis) to recruit peøple, which is alsø sømething the banditos never did. they dø nøt gø intø dema and recruit, they ønly help thøse whø already want to escape.

tyler says in overcompensate that he’s døne running, but this is a blatant lie. he’s going back to trench, the place where he ran from the things he is fighting against. he’s using psychokinesis to trick himself into thinking he’s done running.

so what do i think will happen? simple. tyler is going to continue to ignore every warning sign and play into the cycle, he’s going to førget who he was and become blurry again, and the cycle will repeat. i believe what we are seeing in clancy is høw the cycle usually ends and restarts itself. tyler finds psychokinesis and gets so obsessed with destruction and thinking he’s a weapon now that he becomes the very thing he thinks needs to be destroyed.

there are two songs on clancy that corroborate this. “backslide” and “snap back”. backslide means to relapse into bad habits. i think that clearly says tyler will slip back into blurry, and he will stay there for a bit, until “snap back” where someone cømes to help him “snap øut” øf this low point, øf this mindset of destruction. and even if that does happen, it won’t be an instant fix. it will be hard to cøme back after what has happened and pivot to a different direction.

nøw, løøking back at this from a non-lore perspective and one more based in what the story represents as a whole, destroying the things yøu hate abøut yourself isn’t that great, nøw is it? yeah you don’t like these things, but just outright trying to eliminate them is eliminating a part of yourself, and that døesn’t sound gøød. so what is the better solution to this? acceptance and understanding. learning to live with the parts you hate rather than total destruction.

but i think we need to see this total destruction as a show of the incorrect path for tyler and for the story, before someone else cømes in to rescue him. the banditos are representative of your friends, family, yøur support networks. tyler is ignoring them, choosing to fight this battle alone, and this is not the correct way to go about this, but it’s sømething we need to see happen. it’s a message of what not to dø, and we need to see høw bad øf a path it is to ensure that message is heard.

tldr: tyler/clancy’s path of destruction is VERY bad, he is going to fall back into blurry again and the cycle will repeat unless he allows øthers to help him change cøurse. but he’s ignoring every warning sign, and in the end, this is sømething we need to see happen to him.

#twenty one pilots #clancy #blurryface.txt

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hit-song-showdown · 3 months

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My favorite songs of 2023

I am putting together my favorite songs released in 2023. I started off doing a project where I listened to as many new albums as I could (and recording my findings in a spreadsheet), but that project tapered off around June when my move + school year started. But even though I wasn't able to listen to every album that came out, I still came out of 2023 with some of my favorite musical projects of all time. Also as another disclaimer: I am not a professional music writer.

I am also limiting this list to 1 song per album/project.

1. Scaring the Hoes by JPEGMafia and Danny Brown. I wish I could go back and experience again what happened to my brain when I first heard this track so I could properly convey it with text. When I first saw this project was announced, I knew it would take over my life. When I heard this track before the album was released, I knew I would have to form some kind of religion around it. The reason why I'm limiting this list to one track per album is because Scaring the Hoes has 14 tracks so I wouldn't be able to fit them all (other songs I would have given the number 1 spot include Burfict!, Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up/Muddy Waters, God Loves You, and Kingdom Hearts Key). But the title track is the perfect introduction. It's less of a single and more of a thesis statement for the entire project. The production throughout this album is incredible, but STH hits different. The rhythmic, almost menacing handclaps (fun fact: those aren't handclaps--that's the sound my asscheeks make when this song comes on) and the horn sample which I can only describe as Blood Money era Tom Waitsian, it is by far my favorite beat of 2023. Combined with Danny and JPEG's charisma and the way they bounce back and forth, this song is a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart. Also I saw them live and that experience elevated a 10/10 to a 20/10 for me.

2. Prof. Aronnax' Descent into the Vast Oceans by Ahab. I started seriously listening to German nautical funeral doom metal band, Ahab around early 2022 so this was the first new release I got to experience. Even though I loved what I heard previously, nothing could have prepared me for this. The opening track is everything I want from a doom metal song. It starts out with a frantic onslaught of screaming and inhuman growls before mellowing out into a serene instrumental before the mournful vocals kick in. It really feels like the initial shock of your body slamming into the water, then having to slowly drift among the waves as your muscles give out and you're taken deeper into the depths. That's what I like about doom metal: it's music to decay to. This track (and by extension this album) hooked me from a story-telling perspective right away, which shouldn't be a surprise as it was based on Jules Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. The story presented in this album intrigued me so much that I had to read the book for myself. Then I read it again. Then I read two different translations. Now I'm working on a visual novel adaptation. I know metrics for album rankings are subjective, so I'm willing to give an album an extra bump if it gets me to read a 19th century novel at least five times in less than two months and learn Python coding. (Other tracks I would have included: the album is at its strongest as a single listening experience, but I especially enjoyed Mobilis in Mobili and Ægri Somnia).

3. What A Man by Debby Friday. This is a track off of Nigerian-Canadian electronic musician Debby Friday's first album Good Luck and holy shit, what a debut. This is such a well-formed project I can't believe it. I was already enjoying the album throughout the first few tracks. It brought me back to listening to 2000s club music and thinking "wow I wish I got invited to parties." But then I got to What A Man and the world screeched to a halt. I think I was posting on my main blog at the time, so anyone unfortunate enough to follow me had a chance to see my incoherent screeching in real time. This track is incredible. Debby's warm and sultry voice, the spacey production, THE ELECTRIC GUITAR? The first time the guitar kicks in, that's just a teaser for what ended up being one of my favorite music moments of the year. The electric guitar feels like an oncoming storm and Debby is standing strong before it, taking on the wind and rain as her voice becomes louder and almost yearning. Then the song builds with Debby yelling to the high heavens as the guitars wail around her before fading back down into the low bass and rhythmic breathing motif found throughout the album. This track is an experience, and the music video is gorgeous too (the picture I chose for the banner is from the video itself) and the fact that it has less than 20K views hurts me. (Other tracks I would have included: I Got It, So Hard To Tell, Let U Down)

4. Bite Back by Algiers (ft. billy woods and Backxwash). Speaking of songs that build... This is the sixth track off of Algiers' album, Shook and by this point I was already feeling pretty good about the release. I was already prepared to put the opening track, Everybody Shatter on my top 20, but when Bite Back kicked in, something changed. Here's a recreation of my initial reaction: "this sounds pretty good, I like the way this intro...is that billy woods??") Just to be transparent: billy woods' involvement would have been enough to give this an automatic top slot for me, but it helps that his verse is fantastic. His flow is slower than the introductory verse, but that only makes his lyrics stand out more. From the opening lines "One hand wash the other, they both wash the face / Centrifugal force and inertia keep everything in its place / Slowly, spinning in space, speeding, lead foot on the brakes" I knew I was in for something special. One thing I really appreciate about this track is the production. billy woods has a very steady flow with an almost menacing quality to it depending on the subject matter of the lyrics, and the beat shifts during his verse to reflect that. It sounds like it could be a billy woods beat, but it doesn't sound like one of his beats was carelessly shoved into an Algiers song. It's like the beat ebbs and flows with the artists involved. The production gets gradually more intense as billy picks up more ferocity in his delivery. A detail I really like is when billy says "claws rattling, delicate as roaches' wings," the percussion on the backing track picks up an almost rattling quality, but it doesn't sound corny or too obvious. Then billy continues, the backing track picking up even more intensity until it feels like each noise is blasting at full power...and then the tension releases and settles down with Algiers frontman, Franklin James Fisher, delivering the second verse. His delivery contrasts wonderfully with billy woods' too, with his faster, almost whispered vocals allowing the track to pick up momentum again after the previous release of tension. This track knows when to breathe and it's fantastic. But it also knows when to take the air from your lungs as Fisher goes all out with the vocals in the hook and third verse, reinstating what an absolute powerhouse vocalist he is. And just when the track is at its peak ferocity, in comes Backxwash with the steel chair! If billy and Fisher were allowing the beat to gradually shift under their performances, Backxwash grabs the song by the throat and makes it do whatever she wants. Her verse then trades off into Fisher delivering the outro, operating at full power in his delivery. This song is so well-crafted and none of the artists feel out of place. (Other tracks I would have included: Everybody Shatter, A Good Man, Irreversible Damage)

5. Billions by Caroline Polachek. As of writing this, I haven't been keeping up with other people's year end lists, but I know this album is going to make everyone else's. So I feel a bit intimidated to talk about it, but I will try. The production on this album is so good my brain can't even comprehend how it was crafted. I've seen it described as "maximalist," but that doesn't fully capture how well this album knows when to pull back and let the tracks breathe. Billions is one of the more sparse tracks compared to some of the others, but that only makes each production decision stand out more. The second time Caroline says "give me the closure," you hear a little musical sting in the background (probably some kind of synth, but at first listen I thought it was an electric guitar) which didn't show up after the first time that lyric was sung. It's that attention to detail and letting the production build on itself that makes this project incredible. And it goes without saying that Caroline is an outstanding vocalist. She sounds like a siren. It's ridiculous. (Other tracks I would have included: Welcome to My Island, I Believe, Hopedrunk Everasking)

6. The Black Seminole by Lil Yachty. Opening track off of Lil Yachty's psychedelic rock album, Let's Start Here, and what an opening track on a fantastic project. It should be clear by this point that I love songs that build, and holy shit does this song build. I first listened to this album while I was on a plane, and this track synced up with my takeoff. So while the plane was lifting off the ground and I was being pressed against my seat, Lil Yachty gave the final line before the electric guitars and the female vocalist kicked in, both wailing with equal ferocity. Top 10 music experiences of the year, but even going back to listen to that same track when I'm not on an airplane delivered the same euphoric experience. (Other tracks I would have included: Drive Me Crazy, Should I B, We Saw the Sun)

7. Xena by Skrillex and Nai Barghouti. I debated whether to put this song or Hydrate on the list, but Xena was the first track that made me fall in love with this album. With vocals by Palestinian singer, Nai Barghouti, Skrillex delivers an absolutely outstanding dubstep track. Like Billions, it's the kind of music production that makes me have to step back and fully appreciate the craft. The song is incredible at building intensity, but he also knows when to pull back to let the tension build again. And Barghouti isn't just a feature--she is the heartbeat of this song. Her voice melds with the production so well, but in a way that sounds like she's commanding it. My absolute favorite part of the song is when she starts singing in her lower register as the production turns to more naturalistic instruments. Sometimes I see electronic producers robbing their singers of their voices for the sake of cohesive production, but that isn't the case here. Nai Barghouti's voice is crisp, unique, and perfect. It's a fantastic melding of producer and vocalist that makes way more sense than it should. (Other tracks I would have included: Hydrate, Rumble, Ratata)

8. Babylon by Bus by billy woods and Kenny Segal. I already talked about billy woods, but he was a feature so this still counts. Everything I already said about billy woods' skills applies here as well, especially now that he has full control over the track. billy's flow sounds both effortless, and that he knows the perfect word to use for each line. And he uses interesting words. "Glistening waterbug on clean counter / Plague mask, gave the place a cursory glower / He ran away, I gave chase but gave up and sat on his gate for hours" I love this series of bars. He is a storyteller. And then, the beat pauses after billy's first verse, with low menacing notes, a clattering of naturalistic metallic percussion, and then the switch up??? Seriously the way the beat ramps up for SkrapKnel's verses takes the song to another level. The way the Curly Castro and PremRock pass the mic back and forth to each other is outstanding. This doesn't feel like a guest verse; this is a fully realized project. The shamelessness is even more apparent when billy takes the mic again for the final verse, but now with more ferocity in his delivery as if he's building off of the energy created by SkrapKnel. This song is masterful. "I take care of these words, Munchausen by proxy / Somehow beat the tox screen / God save the queen, but that train doesn't stop here anymore" (Other tracks I would have included: FaceTime, Year Zero, Soft Landing)

9. Drain You Empty by Cannibal Corpse. I listened to this album right around midterms and I needed it. But this was the song I kept coming back to. For one, it's fun. Obviously: it's Cannibal Corpse. But I love the way the song opens with a full minute of just blasting you before the drums, riffs, and screams really kick in. Good god the drumming on this album is so good. I absolutely love Corpsegrinder's delivery on this track. The way he shifts from bellowing growls to shrieks, the way he speeds up his delivery to match the pace of the drums, it's so good. I'm sorry I don't have a better analysis. It's fun. (Other tracks I would have included: Chaos Horrific, Overlords of Violence, Blood Blind)

10. Crossing Guard by Model/Actriz. This is a song that made me wish I went to gay clubs more. Yes, it's a killer dance song, but what draws me in is how chaotic the production is. It starts out slow and quiet, then bam! The production starts screeching at you in a glorious onslaught of noise, held together with a fantastic bassline. I love the vocalist too. He can be monotone and subtle, but he also knows how to raise his voice to match the ferocity of the production. I listened to this song countless times last year (often while crossing the street and trying not to get hit by cars), and the line "Like Germanotta, Stefani / Pull the weight from under me" will be stuck in my head forever. (Other tracks I would have included: Donkey Show, Amaranth)

#music #2023 music #jpegmafia #danny brown #ahab #ahab band #debby friday #algiers band #caroline polachek #lil yachty #skrillex #nai barghouti #billy woods #backxwash #kenny segal #cannibal corpse #model/actriz

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kellycataclysm · 4 months

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The story so far for Stardust and Harvey

This is long so settle in.

The Words We Never Say is the story that started it all and it still isn't finished, because in my attempt to bring two characters together, I need to first determine where they came from. I'd say we are over half way through.

You could read it if you like, or you could start back at the beginning in Year Zero/One.

Allow me to give you a suggested storyline to follow. Please be reminded that the content I write is NSFW as I am writing adult relationships and they contain adult situations.

Meant To Be - A little 'What If...?' tale set in the summer of Year Zero, of the turning point in Lyra's life, backstory giving us a glimpse into the events that would eventually lead her to the Valley. As she navigates her last day at work, before taking a job for an evil un-named corporation, she has a chance meeting with someone that may leave a lasting impression...

All you need is love and a good cup of coffee - Year One in a nutshell, from Stardust's perspective - how two people came together over several cups of coffee. Of course, it had to be coffee.

Steal Your Heart - Year One from Harvey's perspective. Written around three memories that he recalled when they moved in together, three moments in their 'friends to lovers' relationship. Two chapters of flirtatious fluff, and a third very, very spicy chapter of their second night together.

Ask Me Anything - coming soon. Placing these two flirtatious friends in the accidental sleepover trope before they get together should be fun, right.

Whispered Dreams of Stardust - The night of their first kiss and what happens next, with a little time jump too, forward to when they are living together. A little story inspired by a line from another fic and suggested by my good friend @jessielightyear8.

I Really Should Go - The words of two very polite people who really don't want to leave. I decided to have a go at writing very not safe for work content. Harvey and Stardust's first night together should be ok, right?

Walk of Shame - exactly what it says on the tin. Takes place directly following the fic just above, the morning after their first night together. I decided to place Harvey in an awkward situation as I wrote my first piece from his point of view. I found I really liked writing Harvey and getting into what he could be thinking.

Always in my Dreams - entirely gratuitous because I found I quite enjoyed writing these two in adult situations. I don't know how this happened but here we are. Takes place after they said those three little words. (Let's get coffee... no, you know the ones I mean. ily.)

Picture Perfect - Many fic writers send Harvey away to [insert medical conference here] at some point and I decided that would be a lovely way to have him explore his feelings for Lyra, as he scrolled through his camera roll. I also wanted to establish that my Harvey is a man of experience in spite of his evident self-esteem issues. Add in a friends with benefits encounter and here we are.

One Weekend in Winter - This started out as a one-shot and morphed into a multi-chapter story as I wanted to write more entirely gratuitous content for my lovers, but also having discovered their names, I wanted to weave them in. So, how about a proposal story! I also wanted to establish that these two fell for each other very passionately, so here's hoping I made them so hot they could set the world on fire!

The Magic of Falling Snowflakes - This one was inspired by the spectacular art that I was gifted by the amazing @henarikat as part of our Discord server Winter Star gift exchange. I decided to write this little story directly after the events of the proposal in the fic above, in which Harvey is moving in with Stardust. I wanted to explore how he is feeling about finding his home, and to establish how her playful nature had an impact on him. A special shout-out goes to my good friend @mysteryfeesh for helping me find their song, Dizzy on the Comedown by Turnover. This will also be significant to a special moment that is coming soon in my long fic.

A Sense of You - A little story of pure fluff, taking place just after Harvey has moved to the farmhouse. A playful debate over a t-shirt of all things, in which Stardust lets him know just how much he means to her.

Mirror, Mirror - coming soon. Slow dancing to Billie Holliday. Champagne kisses under a sky full of stars and fireworks. New Year's Eve for Lyra and Harvey.

Wild Hearts in the Wildflowers - Placing my two lovers firmly in their honeymoon period, they attend their first Flower Dance together just two weeks after getting hitched. Lingering touches, longing glances, everyone in town surrounding them when all they want is to be alone. Let's see what fun they can get up to.

And so here we are. My long sad fic takes place at the end of year six, in which Stardust and Harvey have been together for five years and need some help remembering what brought them together in the first place. Don't worry, I intend to help them find that, as I love them too much.

Year Six also includes a small one-shot, told through the eyes of their daughter, called The Fairy Garden.

#stardew harvey #sdv harvey #stardew valley #stardew farmer #sdv farmer #sdv #stardew stardust #stardew lyra #lyra and harvey #stardust and harvey

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wellmaybetheresworms · 7 months

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I’ve been listening to Narcissus Under the Knife by Jessica Law. I’ve been feeling very Normal about Narcissus Under the Knife by Jessica Law. I’ve been writing an analysis-ish thing about Narcissus Under the Knife by Jessica Law. I’ve also finished it, and if anyone wants to read it, that’s what this is. So. TW: mentions of mental health issues, namely Orpheus’ depression and Narcissus’ extreme Narcissism. Also plastic surgery. Also this is basically just incoherent rambling.

You have been warned.

Narcissus Under the Knife is a song by Jessica Law. It’s based on a fiction by the Mechanisms called Orpheus and Narcissus Go on a Trip to the Seaside. It (Narcissus Under the Knife) is written in first person from Narcissus’ perspective. Instead of talking to someone, or telling a story of some kind, it’s Narcissus’ own thoughts and reflection about his relationships, with Orpheus, his friend, and Echo, his ex, as well as his own relationship with mental health and his appearance.

My mind was ringing with echoes

When I told you to let go

When I sent you from me

The first verse is about Echo. In Orpheus and Narcissus Go on a Trip to the Seaside, Narcissus tells Orpheus about Echo, his ex from seven years ago. He says that he only realised that he truly loved her after she’d left him, saying that he loved his reflection more than he loved her, and had thought about her ever since. Orpheus said something about him only loving her once she became unattainable, but Narcissus never addressed this with anything other than a glare.

Now sitting here at my mirror

With the light getting dimmer

I can see myself clearly

You see, it’s ironic because the lights are getting dimmer. But it’s also ironic because his mirror is broken. Narcissus said that Echo broke it when she left, and that he never got around to getting it fixed. But, in the fiction, Orpheus thinks he sees an older, more beaten down and aged version of Narcissus for a moment in the reflection. He chalks it up to the drugs he’s on and the lack of nutrition, but that’s likely similar to what Narcissus sees in the mirror: a combination of how he looks and a distorted version, what his mind shows him.

And I'll never reconcile

Those bright eyes and flashing smile

With the mind that whirs and winds

And finds fault in all I see

But I think I'll stay awhile

Sit and stare and sulk in style

When Narcissus looks in the mirror, he sees himself. Sometimes how he physically looks. Sometimes his mind’s own version. Physically, he’s very attractive, young, obviously upper class. However, all he can see is what’s wrong with him. Yes, that makes no sense with what I said earlier about how sometimes he’s seeing what he actually looks like, but that’s why he can’t fit that version of him that everyone else sees with how he sees himself. He looks in the mirror, and what he sees is different from what he is. A young man with years and years ahead of him, perfect. Nothing about that is meant to imply someone who stares in the mirror for hours looking for faults. And it doesn’t, since no one is that kind of perfect without any insecurities.

And I never said that everything would be the same

And I never promised I would be OK with change

And I never meant to hurt you

But if you feel no pain, then

That's enough for me

Here, Narcissus is struggling with change. He knows it happens, and he isn’t denying that, but that doesn’t mean he’s alright with the changes in his life. This whole verse could be about Echo or Orpheus, and it’d fit just the same. Echo left. It’s unclear if he actually realises that he hurt her, but either way he didn’t mean to. (Doesn’t make it okay, but there’s a reason Narcissism is called Narcissism.) And if she wasn’t really hurt by him (his perspective. Obviously that hurt her feelings), then he has a chance of her coming back. It also fits Orpheus because of Eurydice’s death. Since she died, Orpheus got careless, depressed, suicidal. He changed, and Narcissus wasn’t ready for it. And at the end of Orpheus and Narcissus Go on a Trip to the Seaside, Narcissus is actually the one to suggest that Orpheus try and get Eurydice back from the Acheron. Because Orpheus ended up dying before he could do anything, Narcissus never found out if it worked or not. So there was equal chance of his suggestion failing, hurting Orpheus more, and of it succeeding, in which case Orpheus would feel much better.

Looking is all I am doing

I would face my own ruin

If these looks didn't stay

Narcissus’ entire livelihood relies on his physical appearance. His job is people being attracted to him. His job is how he gets the money to throw fancy parties. (And, as is implied in the fiction and later in the song, plastic surgery). His fancy parties get him exposure, and exposure helps him keep his job. HE DOES NOT HAVE BACKUP MONEY. If he loses his looks, he loses everything. Also, the “Looking is all I’m doing” bit is a reference to the original Narcissus myth, where he has a pond instead of a mirror. Touching his face in the water would cause ripples that would ruin his otherwise perfect reflection. In the song, it’s less of an actual thing that could happen, as just touching his face or reflection couldn’t actually do anything to ruin how he looks. It’s just his fear that if he disrupts his perfect reflection, it’ll shatter everything he’s done to maintain his appearance.

I can't decide if I miss you

There are more pressing issues

Like remaining this way

So I think this bit is more about Orpheus than Echo, but could, again, be about either. About Orpheus: his best friend is missing, likely dead, possibly having killed himself, and Narcissus can’t stop maintaining his appearance for long enough to think about him. About Echo: Narcissus has spent so long keeping himself looking the same for when he thinks Echo’ll be back that he hasn’t thought about whether or not he actually loves her/wants her back.

And I'll never sympathise

With that place behind my eyes

Cells that order me to lie

And buy time with money

But I'm kind of mesmerised

By the face they hide behind

Narcissus’ actual reflection is perfect. Just like his face. But this is a mix of the actual reflection and his mind looking for something wrong. The something wrong here is what he sees behind his eyes. Y’know the whole ‘the eyes are a window to the soul’ thing? Pretty sure that’s the reference. Narcissus looks at his soul, who he is as a person, who he really is, and he doesn’t like it. The cells are his actual cells. He’s ageing. There’s a bit more allusion to him getting plastic surgery here, because it costs money and plastic surgery can hide ageing. So he’s forced to alter his face artificially in order to look younger. A sort of lying. Then the last two lines are him admiring his face. For anyone who’s ever dyed their hair, it’s kinda like the bit of time right after it’s been dyed where you pull it in front of your face because it’s a new colour and that’s interesting. He doesn’t feel like it’s his face. It’s a marvel, it doesn’t change, it’s constantly new.

And I know I need someone who feels and thinks the same

And I know that person isn't real and can't be named

And I never meant to spurn you

But if you feel no blame, then

That's enough for me

The needing someone who feels and thinks the same is because he knows it would be good for him to talk to someone who went through/is going through what he’s going through. But there isn’t anyone he can talk to. (In the fiction, Orpheus thought about how he could have helped Narcissus, but wasn’t in the right mental state to be able to.) The spurn bit: he ignored Echo in favour of his own reflection, and he sort of did the same to Orpheus. Not as much, but he did leave him waiting three hours. But if they don’t feel any blame, then that’s good enough.

I know they'll soon come and get me

You would never have let me

Reach the state I'm in now

Narcissus is going to end up in an asylum. He knows it. Orpheus knew it. He believes that either Echo or Orpheus could have helped him get better.

Counting the cracks in the pavement

One more day of enslavement

To the lines on my brow

He counts the cracks, he counts his wrinkles, he only steps on the black tiles in his house. Every day he sees something new wrong with him, namely wrinkles, and hyper focuses on it. All he can think about is his imperfections.

Just another little tweak

Rolls the clock back one more week

If I could I would rewind the time I was with you

All those years I can't reclaim

But my youth I shall retain

So this is the big plastic surgery thing. “Just another little tweak” and all. One little change, and he’s so much younger. And the “my youth I shall retain” bit. He’s using plastic surgery to look younger. Obviously. Kinda. Already implied that. Whoop. But there’s more Narcissusism here. The 3rd and 4th lines are basically him saying that if he could take back all the time he spent with Echo/Orpheus in favour of his youth, he would.

And I'll never have that natural glow or natural grace

And I'll always have to cast my spell in other ways

And these dotted lines are painful

But that's the price I pay, and

That's enough for me

That’s enough for me

That’s enough for me.

Last verse! He can’t have a natural glow or grace because his looks aren’t natural. So everything he does has to be accentuated by something artificial in order to keep up the facade of effortless beauty. He has to spend hours on makeup and hair. He has to pick out fashionable clothes. He has to walk right, he has to speak right, everything he does, he has to do because if he doesn’t, people will see right through him, right through what he wants, no, needs them to see. Anyways, next line! More plastic surgery shit! When someone gets plastic surgery, the surgeons draw dotted lines around the area they’re doing surgery. The dotted lines are guide lines. The price he’s paying is both the price for the surgery, and also the ever so slight price on his soul that comes from living longer than he should have. Which makes sense for something related to the Mechs. Themes of the consequences of extended life and life in general are common themes in their stuff. If someone who’s reading this somehow hasn’t listened to them, Then What Are You Doing, Go Listen Now. Anyways, continuing to look young and pretty is all Narcissus feels he needs. It’s reaffirmed by the fact that he only says “That’s enough for me” three times, one of which as the last line of the song. Every other time that line has popped up, it’s been sung twice. Like he’s trying to convince himself. But here, it’s sung three times. I’m taking it as convincing himself, convincing himself, convinced. Especially since the last one’s sung differently than every other time he sings that line. And there’s nothing else he needs to say after that. The whole song has been building up to and backing away from a sort-of admission of his own obsession, and now that he’s finally said it, there’s nothing else to admit.

Also, I really like that the song’s slow with lonely-ish melancholy vibes. Really lends to the contemplative aspect of it.

Wow! You stuck around! Wasn’t expecting that for my nonsense!

#narcissus #narcissus under the knife Jessica Law #the mechanisms #sort of #orpheus #Echo #analysis-ish #Izza song #that I’m Normal about #and itza buncha nonsense!#ramblees

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justkending · 10 months

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Found Memories. Chapter 1.

Finding Memories Sequel: (I advise you to read the 1st series for context).

Series Summary: Following the aftermath of Finding Memories, Bucky tries to complete goals he feels she would have discovered for herself as a way to let her memory live on. However, he never expected to find someone very close to who he believed she would have been if given the chance of normalcy. A journey of mourning someone he lost, turned into a journey of discovering someone new, happens upon the soldier. Maybe this whole normal thing isn’t as bad as he had pictured it in his mind. Maybe he had a better shot at it than he ever tried to imagine.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader insert

Chapter Word Count: 4000+

A/N (PLEASE READ): So I may or may not have gone back on my deal to not post until I finished writing it all, but I'm 15 chapters in, and though I have a ton more to write, I wanted to drop the first chapter for my Finding Memories people to have some closure, and also to see where Bucky's story plans to lead.

This series is told through 1st person unlike a lot of my others, but I realize I like this style a lot more. So all this is from Bucky's perspective in this chapter. I also understand this may seem a little confusing with this being a reader insert for both these stories, so using Y/N will make it harder to tell the difference between the characters. I’ll be calling our previous Y/N from the Finding Memories series, Sloan, just to avoid confusion. But please don’t let that take away from any of the personal aspects of the story. This is just a continued story of Bucky finding happiness after the ending of Finding Memories. (Just think of it as him falling for you 2x ;) There is a note at the bottom after reading so please read that when you finish!

Last note! For each chapter, I am connecting a song from the playlist our last reader left and Bucky took on his own. The song will play off the vibes of each chapter. You don't have to listen if you don't want to, but it is here as a little piece of Bucky's theme (sometimes thought processes and feelings) in each chapter. Enjoy!

Playlist song: At Last by: Etta James

Chapter 1:

4 years and 364 days had gone by since her passing.

Almost 5 years, 2 weeks, and 4 days since I had rescued her.

I think the reason it stuck with me was that this was one of those missions that carrying on like normal afterwards, wasn’t really an option.

When you lose someone on the field, whether you know them or not, a piece of you is saddened that someone lost their life. Normal. Human. Emotions.

However, you feel depressed and emotionally stuck when it’s someone you had become familiar with and plan to continue to grow familiar with.

It hurt even more when it was someone who deserved to go far in life and learn so many things about themselves in a healthy and safe environment. It was a stab to the heart to know she never saw that for herself and had made a decision no one should be put in the position to make.

But it happened. In the very likely chance someone was to find her and use her for her powers again, she erased all possibilities of it getting into the wrong hands. And with it erased all chances to experience the good in the world as well.

After she died, Bruce and Tony tested her blood to find what the other mutation was even if I knew for the most part.

We didn’t have much time to understand it, or for her to really explain all the pieces that came with her enhancements that she seemed to remember the day before her ultimate fate. But from what she had passed onto me in the last moments of her life, I feel like I had some kind of grasp of it.

Her hand over my heart seconds before her powers consumed her was more than just a sentimental goodbye. She shared within that touch her fears, her intentions, her understandings, and the peace she found in her decision.

It was something I could never explain in words to someone else, but it was a feeling that made me understand why it all had to come to the end that it did.

She had told me the night before, that her powers were created from the cosmos, and it was a power that could bring an end to society and the world we try so hard to keep afloat in what feels like constant choppy waters.

She didn’t have to go into too much depth about what all that meant, but it would soon be proven within hours of explaining to me that we would not get the end we hoped for.

I can’t lie and say I never expected things to take the turns they did. I live the life I have constantly considering the worst-case scenarios, and her death was always one of those scenarios as soon as we saved her in that hidden terrorist facility.

Bruce and Tony confirmed that her gifts were something that could be world-ending and quickly incinerated her blood so that no one could get ahold of that kind of power down the line.

The wishes she made on her deathbed were met and I was trying to meet all the other ones she had made and never got the chance to do herself.

It took me a while to go into her room and start to clean out the few personal items she had slowly gathered in the short time she was there, but really there wasn’t much to clean.

She had a few plants. I took one and Wanda took the other. Her clothes were either taken by Wanda or Nat and the rest were donated.

She had some books that had been gifted to her about random things she had found interest in while trying to find herself. A cookbook, a book on herbs and plants she used to read to put a name to the plants on the compound during her walks, and some history books Parker was kind enough to loan her so she could catch up with the world around her.

The only other thing of significance I found, and didn’t realize was something she kept, was a journal. It was in the nightstand drawer, but it had been hidden under all the other books she had collected.

Inside, it was a list of notes she made about those she had become close with.

1. Wanda is from Sokovia and she had a brother named Pietro whom she misses dearly. 2. Nat had a sister that’s on missions across seas and sees her every other month, but they keep in contact when able. 3. Bruce has 7 PhDs but has test anxiety. 4. Tony blast rock music that can be heard 3 levels above. (check songs to see if they spark anything…) 5. Bucky acts like Sam annoys him, but I secretly think they’re just as good of friends as he and Steve are. 6. Steve and Bucky grew up together and from what Nat said, “One looks for trouble the other follows cause he still sees Steve as a 90lb Brooklyn kid.” 7. Sam is from Louisanna and mentioned making a shrimp boil… (Still need to look that up...) 8. Bucky likes to prank Sam and Steve in small ways that they never figure out and it drives them slightly insane. 9. Spiderboy is incredibly smart but is also somehow very naive to the teasing he gets from everyone else. 10. Movie nights are something that everyone gets excited about and they all have very different tastes in movies to show me. So far, I've enjoyed the comedies the most. (Peter picked the movie Grown-ups and some of the things they do make no sense and are extremely goofy, but I think that's why I liked it...)

The list went on for about five pages of random things she discovered and felt were important to know about the team and sometimes even herself.

But in the back, only found if you looked through each page of the small journal, was a list of things she wanted to try once she felt ready and was given the chance to.

It didn’t feel right ripping the pages out for myself, or taking the journal and ruining it with my scribbles, so I copied the list in a notebook of my own and added some things I think she would have enjoyed if I was given the chance to show her.

She only got about 24 things written that she wanted to experience in the real world. Most of which were simple things most take for granted having the choice to do any day.

Right now I was looking at number seven;

7. Go to a coffee shop and try different drinks with cinnamon in them. Find a favorite, so I can eventually say, “I’ll have the usual,” like they do in the movies.

It was hard to know what her favorite would have been, but I did the best I could. Eventually, I had a usual at the coffee shop I started the adventure on.

“He’s back.” The barista whose head was in the pastry display shot up and smiled toward me. “It’s been a minute since we’ve seen you. Life or work in the way this time?”

“What’s the difference?” I responded though it came across a little more melancholy than I meant.

Luckily, Trudy, the shop owner, had become familiar with me enough to know it’s just how I talk.

“Get him the usual, dear,” she said to the worker at the front as she wrapped a muffin and handed it to a customer waiting on the side.

When the worker just looked at her wide-eyed and freaked out, Trudy laughed to herself and pointed her to another task.

“Forgot she’s only been here for 2 days,” Trudy’s New York accent was strong as she typed in my regular order. “So. Any big bad guys in the world I should be worryin’ about or do you have it handled?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, Trud,” I smiled as she grabbed a cup and wrote one of her new names for me on it. She was clever with what she could come up with depending on the day. “Sorry, I haven’t been in. I was sent overseas for a bit the last few weeks.”

“You haven’t come in a month,” she said with a raised motherly eyebrow.

“Hate to break it to ya, but there are bad guys I have to take care of over here too. They keep me just as busy sometimes,” I chuckled, moving out of the way in case someone else needed to order.

“Yeah, yeah,” she groaned, grabbing a pastry and wrapping it up for me. “I made a new recipe from my Italian side of the family. Give it a try,” she stuck a sticker on it to seal the bag and came around the counter to give it to me. “Tell me how you like it.”

“How much?” I went on to grab cash knowing she likely wouldn’t let me pay anyway.

“Cost ya a review on Yelp,” she pushed it on me more. “I had someone come in the other day and try and cheat the system to get free stuff, and when I wouldn’t budge she lowered my rating on the damn website.”

“I don’t think one bad rating will hurt ya, Trud,” I sighed, taking it and putting the cash in the tip jar instead.

“Eh, I like to counter it with a good one where I can. Plus, I’m running out of fake emails to do it myself. Help a gal out.”

I laughed knowing she may have been a small hole-in-the-wall business, but she got enough foot traffic to keep her afloat even if she joked about going under if I didn’t give her reviews and tell my friends about it.

Before I could give her peace of mind knowing I’d help in any way she asked me, the bell rang as another customer came in.

I looked back absentmindedly and saw a woman with her head down while she talked on the phone, but was kind enough to go to the side and finish her conversation before walking to the register.

“That drink ready?” Trudy shouted to the back and just in time a barista walked out with the cup of my “usual” drink and handed it off. “I’ll be seeing ya sometime soon, right?” She withheld the coffee until I confirmed.

“Tomorrow,” I promised knowing I had one thing planned and I knew it wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Good. Have a good one, Boomer,” she winked and I looked to see the name matched on the cup.

“What does that mean?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Something the kids are calling old people like you and me,” she shrugged. “Figured if I was going to be called it, you should too.”

I rolled my eyes playfully before giving a final goodbye and heading toward the doors. The woman that had come in was hanging up the phone and happened to look up at the same time I passed.

She had soft eyes and smiled up at me in a polite way before sidestepping and moving to the counter.

I couldn’t help but stop with my hand on the door handle as I looked at her trying to grasp who she reminded me of.

She had kind features and her light smile was what made me do a double take. I may have imagined it, but something about her beamed at me in a way that I couldn't shake.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when someone else tried to come in and I quickly opened the door for them and moved out of the way. But I looked in the shop one more time seeing Trudy smiling back at the woman and sharing a similar banter she had with me.

I honed in my hearing some and caught the middle of the conversation.

“I would ask if you want your normal order, but it’s been so long I’m not sure if it’s the same,” Trudy teased.

“The move has been great. Thanks for asking Trudy,” the woman remarked with a laugh.

It would become creepy pretty quickly with me just staring and eavesdropping in the doorway, so I moved on even if I was intrigued to hear the rest of this conversation.

I took my time walking to my car since the woman’s face was sticking in my mind. Something seemed oddly familiar of her, but I couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

________________________

“Hey, I was looking for you!” Sam’s voice sounded as soon as I walked into the kitchen.

“I’d rather you weren’t,” I said back, going to the trash to throw my cardboard cup away and grab a snack from the fridge.

“Hardy, har, har,” Sam responded. “But really. I need help with a file I can’t access.”

“Maybe you can’t access it for a reason,” I gave a smug smile to him as I shut the fridge and took a bite out of the apple I stole from it.

“You're really channeling that clown energy as Parker would say today, aren't you?” he gave me a straight face before pulling papers I hadn’t noticed beforehand and passed them to me. “It’s just some notes on a mission we did last week, but I need to tweak some things. For some reason, the file isn’t giving me access so I was going to ask if I can go through your account.”

“Have Tony look at your account. Maybe the clearance level got mixed up. He had a new protection server put in the other week and a few accounts were tweaked.”

“Well, he's not in his lab.”

“Ok,” I dragged out. “Sounds like a personal problem.”

“Barnes, just let me on your account for two seconds to fix it and then I’ll go and find him. It won’t take me longer than five minutes,” Sam groaned.

I could continue to give him a hard time, but I needed to get some things ready for tomorrow and wasn’t in the mood to keep up my normal antics.

“Fine. Where’s your computer?” I huffed, biting into the apple again and waiting for him to bring it to me.

He smiled like he won, even though I could still say no if I wanted, and grabbed the laptop on the counter and handed it off to me.

I logged in like normal and went to the file, but was stopped when I came to the same problem he had.

“What the hell?” I glared at the screen and tried a few more tricks but this new protective program Tony had installed was foreign to me.

“Damn it,” Sam crossed his arms and sighed. “You’re the third person now. Why won’t it let me see this damn file?”

I looked at him waiting for him to explain.

“I asked Nat and Wanda too. No luck,” he shrugged.

That was strange. It was a file from the mission we had done last week. A thief that had been stealing intel from some division in the SHEILD operations over some classified information, but we had captured and incarcerated the hacker.

“Friday,” I asked into the void and her voice followed.

“How can I help, Sargent Barnes?”

“Why aren’t we able to get into these files?”

There was a pause as she tried to find the answer.

“It seems to be in a classification you don’t have access to. Clearance levels are not high enough. Would you like me to call Mr. Stark?”

Sam and I shared a look that showed we were on the same page. There were very few things we didn't have access to, so the system was screwed or not modified after the update. At least that was to hoping it was something that simple.

“No. Where’s Tony at?” I asked instead.

“He’s headed to the lobby. He has an appointment with Ms. Clark.”

The name didn’t sound familiar, though there were a lot of people Stark talked to that I never cared to learn about. He was the face of the team anyway, so luckily he handled a majority of the social aspects of our job.

“Thanks, Friday,” I nodded my head to the exit.

Sam nodded in agreement and we made our way to the lobby to find him.

It wasn’t a portion of the compound we were usually in, so seeing people in business suits coming and going always reminded me of the mass amount of workers who never did fieldwork that came and went.

“Stark,” I shouted once I spotted him at one of the reception desks talking with the secretary that was handing him papers she had just printed.

He turned at his name and looked at us both confused as to why we would be there.

“Got a question for ya,” Sam started out.

“Can it wait? I have a meeting with someone I actually like,” he said sarcastically.

Before I had the chance to spit something back at him and give him a taste of his own medicine, Sam took over.

“I need access to a file of the mission report we just came back from, but it’s not allowing me to get to it,” he summed up.

“Strange,” Tony hummed, looking at the papers he was previously handed as if our issue was nothing for him to worry about.

“It won’t let me through either,” I said and he eventually looked up rolling his eyes before putting the papers on the counter and giving us his attention finally.

“Can this wait like 20 minutes?” he asked.

“It might be because of your new and overly complicated-” I started and once again, Sam saved me from saying something that would probably have Tony ignoring us the rest of the week if I wasn't careful.

“We’ll wait,” Sam nodded. “We’ll be over there.”

He pointed to a few chairs off to the side and nodded his head for me to follow. Though I was against the motion, I obliged to not make matters more annoying. I’d give him 20 minutes, but I was just as intrigued by this issue as Sam was now.

Tony went back to the secretary and grabbed the papers looking through them before grabbing a pen and sloppily marking random things out before handing it back.

Just as he turned back, he seemed to have spotted who he was looking for to begin with and I followed his eyeline.

Walking in and looking around marveling at the size of the place before seeing Tony and smiling at him, was the same woman who I had seen at the coffee shop. The same one who was talking to Trudy about a move.

I must have been staring while she and Tony met in the middle and started casually conversing. She reached into the tote she was carrying and handed Tony what looked like a sweater and a folder, but he only took the piece of clothing leaving her with just the folder still in hand.

My stare must have been unmoving cause Sam nudged me with his shoulder and gave me a weird look when I broke out of my trance.

“What are you gawking at?” he asked, looking where I was and raising his eyebrows. “Oh, I see.”

I furrowed my eyebrows and gave him a disapproving look to show his mind wasn’t in the right place.

“Shut up,” I grunted, slouching some in my spot, but only to show disinterest in an attempt to push him off my case.

“No, I get it. She’s a pretty lady,” Sam chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning back in his own seat. “Just didn’t see you looking for something like that anytime soon-”

“Don’t get any ideas,” I cut him off. “I saw her at a coffee shop earlier today and she just looked familiar. That’s it.”

He looked from me back at the girl and turned his head as he analyzed her.

She was smiling at something Stark was saying and shaking her head about whatever it was he was grinning about. I wasn’t sure what the conversation could even be about, and with the loud echoing space, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what was being shared.

“I have an idea,” Sam spoke up after a second and stood up without any hesitance, and walked towards the two.

“Sam, wait! Stop! What are you doing?” I whisper shouted sitting up and looking around as if someone else was in on this idea with him.

When he didn’t turn back or let up in his steps, I was quickly on my feet trying to get ahead of him to stop him, but he was walking faster causing us to interrupt the two abruptly and throw them both off.

“Hi,” Sam smiled kindly at her then back at Stark.

“I told you I would help you after I talked with-,” Tony started, but Sam patted his shoulder and made him pause.

“Sam Wilson,” he went on to introduce himself while putting his other hand out for her.

The woman seemed surprised by the introduction, but she was kind nonetheless and extended her own hand before introducing herself.

“Y/N Clark,” she smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

Sam turned to me and she followed his look. I wasn’t prepared to talk to her, but I wasn’t going to be rude and just sit there silently and stare at her.

I extended my hand as well and she smiled at the motion.

“James Barnes,” I gave a tight smile, but it wasn’t because of her, it was because I was seconds from punching Sam right in the chest for putting me in this position.

“Mr. Barnes. Nice to meet you,” she nodded, returning the handshake and it was surprisingly firm.

I would have paid mind to the detail, but now being in close proximity to the woman, I was seeing features that I hadn’t taken in before.

She had Y/H/C hair, Y/E/C eyes, and her smile was one I had seen before. She was wearing a bright red checkered winter coat that sat on top of a tan sweater tucked into a nice pair of brown slacks. It seemed fitting for her even if I hadn’t known anything about her. But something in her persona showed she was kind and had a welcoming nature.

Tony rolled his eyes once again and decided to go ahead and introduce us.

“Cyborge and Birdman, this is Ms. Clark. She’s Morgan’s teacher. Ms. Clark, these are two of my most impatient coworkers,” Tony motioned to us. “Who I asked to give me a second before I talked with them…” The glare he was giving us pulled me away from staring at her longer than what would have been socially acceptable.

“Thank this one for the interruption,” I shouldered Sam harshly which he became slightly unbalanced from and gave me another glare.

“Just seemed rude to not introduce your colleagues,” Sam gritted through his teeth, talking to me when the comment was directed to Tony.

“It’s fine,” Ms. Clark spoke up, breaking the growing tension between us three, and I immediately turned my attention back to her. “I was here to just drop off these two things anyway.”

“Yeah, well, I had a few things I wanted to discuss without,” Tony continued, only taking a second in between to send us yet another death stare, “this interruption.”

“I appreciate what you’re offering, but I’ve already told you I have a job set with another district after this year,” she smiled professionally, and I couldn’t help but smile myself at seeing someone say no to Tony.

“Yeah, but… Money.” His eat-shit grin worked on the weak-minded, but clearly, she was not that.

“Money is great and all, but it's not what this is about, Mr. Stark,” she chuckled, readjusting her tote on her shoulder. "Maybe after winter break and I get some paperwork back from the new school I'll be at, we will better understand what I'll have on my plate."

“That sounds like a well-worded way to put this conversation off,” Tony smirked.

She returned it which proved he was right, but she wasn’t falling for his schemes still.

“It’s Christmas break, Mr. Stark. Have a great vacation with your family and happy holidays,” she nodded, turning to walk out, but not completely turned away. “You two as well. I hope the world is kind enough to give you all a break as you deserve during this time.”

“If I know anything about teaching, I know you’ll be needing a break just as much,” Sam shouted in her direction with a smile.

She laughed at that and it was a sound that made it hard not to smile as a reaction to it.

“Happy Holidays,” she said one final time, waving kindly and moving to the exit.

“Well, she seems nice,” Sam grinned in a teasing manner and turned to face us both by taking her place.

“This is why I haven’t brought her around here,” Tony sighed heavily and ran a hand through his beard. “Now, what do you two want?”

Sam followed quickly after Tony, who was already walking back to the lab, but I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes from the red checkered jacket that was out the doors now and walking down the steps.

It was another feeling that I couldn’t quite put into words…

I unfortunately don't have a release date for the next chapter as I am going to stick to my promise of finishing the series before I post any further. This is just to give an idea of what's to come! As always, any likes or reblogs, and comments (even if just a heart or a gif) makes my blood, sweat, and tears for this series feel validated :') ANYWHO!! I'm excited to share with you all the stories to come with this series and these characters because in writing them, I've fallen in love with them myself.

Let me know if you want to be tagged by sending me an ask here!

Finding Memories Taglist:

@tinkerbelle67 @a-beaverhausen @caruhleener @fanfictionjunkie1112 @sjsmith56 @nancymcl @kaygilles @laisbeltrans @matchat3a @ambrosia1846 @peachiestevie

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @livstilinski @basicallylool @starryeyeseunbyul

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter1 @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk @billyseye @hallecarey1

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia @stopjustlovethemcu @enchantedbarnes

It's being weird with the tagging so please let me know if this tagged you!!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes sequel #finding memories sequel #bucky barnes #justkending #bucky barnes series #marvel series #marvel fanfiction #reader insert #marvel #mcu #mcu series #bucky barnes x reader insert #finding memories #bucky barnes 1st person #bucky barnes new series #Found Memories

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