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samgiddings · 5 months

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@staff @support @engineering @music @books

Have you ever considered this is a really stupid layout to have when there’s no way to easily get your account back if you accidentally hit the wrong button???

#med mumbles #im mad actually what kind of UI is this #top post #I guess 😭😭💀💀💀#edit: @ing staff doesn’t actually do that much so try filling out a quick feedback form on their site #also #it doesn’t *ALWAYS* ask you for your password #yes it does in some cases but there are situations where if you link it to your email it doesn’t ask!!!#look through the tags and see how many people have accidentally deleted their blogs before you decide to be a smartass

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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saltpepperbeard · 7 months

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Stede + Being a Wonderful Dad Captain for @stedebonnets

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rongzhi · 5 months

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A winter reminder

English added by me :)

#eye strain #flashing #douyin #video #tiktok #含亮老师 #dlkafjkl you do not knooooow the intense whiplash these collabs always give me #idk if they do this on tiktok but it's such like a part of douyin culture lolol #that and the health reminders from celebrities #the women's pingpong team like PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN TAKE A BREAK #hmmm typo..... tied should be tidied....#but the vibe is kind of still there so it's good it's cool i don't care #psa #chinese weapons

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mayasaura · 1 year

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I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel #not knowing is one thing #erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different #like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way #and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr'#but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth #and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic'#and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience'#relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge #anyway. tl;dr:#if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!!#if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually #but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick #the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth

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soratsuart · 6 months

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I find it incredibly funny seeing some fans complain that the movie wasn't "lore accurate" as if FNAF has ever been consistent with its lore, like

Wow, the movie changes a lot of stuff and is not accurate to what we thought we knew? *looks at The Silver Eyes trilogy* I can't believe that, how horrible *looks at The Silver Eyes trilogy* Who would've thought they'd change stuff that makes us doubt what we know about the series *looks at the fourth fucking closet*

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #five nights at freddy's movie #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's movie spoilers #fnaf movie spoilers #like come on guys we knew this was gonna happen #so what if the characters aren't exactly how they are in the games?#(or how we theorise them to be)#that's classic fnaf storytelling at this point #instead of getting mad that certain points weren't like the game understand the movie like the original books #parallel timeline where things aren't like the games #but some events mirror each other so you can get new details and perspectives to stuff you thought you knew #you need to know the games lore to fully understand the movie #so why wouldn't the movie also have something to offer to the games lore like they've always done?#we just need to figure out what #or not and just enjoy the movie #FNaF is not the kind of media that needs a 100% faithful adaptation #mostly because its impossible with how confusing and convoluted the story is #so just. you know. get your popcorn and have fun #i promise it's a lot better when you have that mindset #soratsu speaks

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claraoswalds · 6 months

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The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userveronika #userteri #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor x clara #twelveclara #*#I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS.#ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO.#I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE.#anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like #she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too ->#he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal ->#look how far i went for fear of losing you #ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that

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teaboot · 2 months

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you have some really evil, selfish and toxic ideas irt whos allowed to have friends, you know? i see pop psy people like you all the time making lists of things that are clear and obvious trauma induced behaviour, and then immediately flip to how if you have a friend who ever behaves like this they are evil and need to be cut off, theyre not allowed to have support systems to get better! you really hate bad victims, huh? if someone isn't demure and cowering and self effacing in their symptoms they don't deserve anyone? i got assaulted and when my friend group threw me out on my ass and called me too fucked up for acting erratic and strange in the aftermath and being unable to communicate why they used your posts to justify it. its sick that people like you will look at someone uncontrollably acting out their ptsd and go wow you aren't doing this nice enough to be tolerated! people like you talk so much about compassion but when it comes to people in actual crisis you don't give a shit. no, theyre acting too problematic. just cut them off! no one should help their friends!

original post

Please allow me to take this opportunity to make some things clear.

First, you do not know me. You do not know anything about me. You do not know where I've been, where I'm going, or where I am. All that you believe that you know is extrapolated from information I have volunteered to share. Information that is, by clear and honest choice, edited for both safety and personal security. Remember this.

Second, and I say this in the kindest of ways, because I have had to learn this lesson myself:

Nobody Owes You Shit.

Have you ever saved someone from drowning?

I have.

Do you know that a drowning person struggling to get air will instinctively drag you under them?

It's hard to save people in the water. It takes specific skills and knowledge that not everybody has. Not everyone can save a drowning person without drowning in the process.

The lifeguard needs energy, and strength, and expertise, and persistence.

The swimmer needs self-restraint, and composure, and the desire to be helped, and the ability to do what they can to facilitate their own rescue.

I believe in kindness, and generosity, and compassion. I believe in trying persistently, and in giving the benefit of the doubt wherever possible. I believe that people are good, and small, and trying. And I believe that I can give all the energy I have inside of me to help someone and still come up short.

So you're drowning? I'm sorry. That must be terrifying. That must be miserable. You must be experiencing the worst moments of your life. I hope someone nearby knows how to help you. I hope they have a raft you can climb into, or a rope for you to grab, or a float you can cling to. I hope things get better. I'll call for help, and give you what I can to get you to shore.

But don't you dare drag me under water and curse me for saving myself.

Now get out of my fucking inbox.

#Negativity cw #I don't owe you my medical history #I don't owe you my personal history #You don't know what kind of person I've been #But I promise that person was not always pleasant #Kindness is a choice #Kindness is a blessing #And blessings can be withheld #It doesn't mean you deserve your pain #But nobody else does either #Yeah it sucks #But what are you going to do now #Nobody can rescue you #So what's the plan

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gunstellations · 3 months

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gentle mornings

#alternatively titled - when your papas have the audacity to cuddle without you #kazurei #buddy daddies #i like to think they didnt really do cuddles much except when rei has a rough night and kazukis warmth and safety is the only thing that #can let him get rid of the anxiety and nightmares #he wouldnt ask for it #it would be kazuki dragging him to bed at first #rei reluctantly but in his weakened will the times hes slept together with miri and kazuki has been the times hes somehow always #managed to go out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow #even he himself doesnt understand and he doesnt attempt to and he doesnt realise #that its safety and warmth and protection and peace #and thats the only reason he would let himself be dragged to bed #but #eventually when you have had the taste of something so good in the place of chilling nightmares and restless darkness that feels no less #safer than the light #your heart becomes indulgent #and rei will gently and wordlessly ask for an invite to the warmth again #its fulfilling and blissful when the three of them are together #but with just kazukis body enveloping him against the night its a different kind of comfort. even in his sleep he would clutch onto it #thats a tangent right there huh.....anyway. miri would be absolutely betrayed in the morning when she finds them snuggled up #she gets her cuddle time with her papas too then #one big pile of a warm and happy family #yes this is pre relationship yes they would do that yes it is possible #if you got this far thanks i guess jajdjfjs ill hopefully colour this soon but i dont know really so im putting it up here #my art

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Sharing is Caring!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #While listening to the Lotus Seed extra I was like 'aw this art is so cute.'#Post The Fanfic Fiasco (re: last comic's tags) I am haunted by the green orbs. WWX has a bag of edible green orbs and I am in hell.#First draft of this comic's script has JC saying 'dude you wouldn't even share with me!' and I love his little sibling indignation.#Middle child power is knowing that you don't have to share with your siblings. The little wet eyes and weak hand slaps do NOTHING.#JC probably already ate all of his lotus seeds. That's on you dude!#Part of me wants to get deeper with the metaphor of the lotus seeds here. It is a gesture of a certain kind of affection.#JYL gives something to WWX she does not quite share with JC. And WWX in turn gives something to LWJ he does not share with JC.#Really puts JC's line 'You're always eating...eating eating' into a very different light.#There are other kinds of starving besides hunger. There are other ways to be a glutton than just food and drink.#WWX's character pre-burial mounds is heavily focused on 'Indulgence'. Be it wine or flirting or hunting or eating-#-or receiving admiration; He is always indulging in ways we never see JC do.#I think the intentional contrast was with the Lan's 'Live simple and without indulgence' lifestyle. LWJ is the abstainer to wwx's gluttony.#But it does expand to JC as well! Both are locked into the role model position to have friction against WWX's apparent freedom.#I think LWJ and JC (at this point) see WWX as something they both want (in different capacities) and someone they want to be.#Yet despite the history between them it is not JC who WWX reaches out to. It's LWJ.#The boy already has an inferiority complex! Stop making it accidently worse!

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slavicafire · 5 months

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my biggest godsdamned pet peeve is the "slavic traditional folk attire" being somehow always paired with the gaudiest most horrid american mainstream make up. fuck off with the winged eyeliner and fake lashes and a bold plumped lip and pristine plucked eyebrows

#żmija gada #it always looks so stupid. I'm glad the girlies are on the hunt for 'authentic' 'folk' 'costumes'#but that makeup revolution pallette and nyx cosmetics matte lip don't go along with it. sorry #it's a bare face kind of look unless you want to pinch your cheeks bloody and smear some ash on your lash line.

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callisteios · 4 months

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I have a new uquiz for you, go on a pilgrimage with me. discover who you are.

#don't you want to go on a nice medieval pilgrimage?#don't you want to rest a little? answer some questions? learn something about yourself?#this was originally a pentiment medieval quiz and now it's this #it's pretty good imo though. i had a lot of fun researching it #yes there really is a biblio. ill write it up soon but its parts of the pentiment biblio plus some stuff i found myself #really thank you to everyone who made pentiment. you know how sometimes you find a piece of art at exactly the right time?#well i discovered pentiment just as my interests perfectly intersected with it. (those interests being history historiography and grief)#have fun etc. tag your results #that's always great #quiz #uquiz #pentiment #medieval #mine #sorry for being absent for a bit. holidays kind of suck #sorry abbie i couldnt fit the saw bathroom in thisone. i couldn't think of a way to do it naturally #i listened to SAVED! and SINNER GET READY the entire time i was writing this so yeah there's a ref. sue me

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souperluminal · 12 days

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Hello!! I'm a huge fan of your art and I thought I would ask about your colorwork, because it's genuinely super impressive to me how all your pieces have amazing palettes and they add so so so much to the general atmosphere. Do you have any process to pick colors for pieces? Like using picture references, gradient maps, etc or do you genuinely just eyeball them? I'm super curious :]

But yea I really love what you do and love seeing every new piece!! Have a nice day! Ty for reading <3

Thanks! I very much use references, though I don't use the color picker on them, gotta train the eye. I have an ever-expanding reference folder of photos and paintings with colors that I like so that when I start a new painting and I have an idea of the color scheme I want in mind, I'll already have some reference on hand. Good reference really makes a world of difference!

I also like to bias colors a little bit away from their standard versions:

The more blue green and the more yellow green are both more interesting to me than the "just green" green. Nothing wrong with that average green though, sometimes that's exactly what you need. It's always situational.

Lastly, a fantastic color tip for digital art specifically that I got from Mike Hernandez: Use the RGB sliders instead of the HSB color selection!

By default, Photoshop gives you the HSB (Hue, Saturation, Brightness) color picking setup which looks like this:

It's perfectly functional and has its uses, but it doesn't really feel like mixing color. On the other hand, if you use the RGB sliders:

Now you can add a little more blue if you think that's what the color needs, or you can take away red, add some green, etc. It gets you actually mixing color and thinking more about how the colors relate to each other. It can take some getting used to if you've only used the HSB setup before, but it's worth it!

#and thank you for your patience!#I know this and other questions have been sitting in my inbox for a while #these past months have been the type where there was always something (or several somethings) just a little more urgent on the to-do list #and once again thank you so so much to everyone who has sent in kind messages about my work!!#it would flood this blog if I were to respond to every one but know that I do immensely appreciate every one #they absolutely make my day

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markscherz · 8 months

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The eye of Uroplatus garamaso, the new gecko species my colleagues and I described yesterday. Check out that weird pupil! Four little diamonds in a chain.

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meownotgood · 7 months

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no even if it was the doggy position he'd lean against your figure and nuzzle his face to the crook of your neck, one arm embracing u tightly that man CANNOT even fuck you without making sure you know you're loved - bnuuy bunny bun

oh you're so right... I've always thought that too...

aki is just the sweetest to you, even when he's fucking you from behind he's still treating you so softly — he presses his body close to yours, practically leaning against you, and he grabs your chin and tilts your head up so he can kiss your forehead. he's so slow and gentle with every deep rock of his hips to make sure he won't hurt you.

and since he can't see your face from this position, can't look into your eyes, can't kiss you as easily as he wants to, he ends up talking a whole lot more; aki leans in close to your ear and mutters constant breathy words of reassurance, telling you how good you're making him feel, how perfect you are, how much he loves you.

god, you're beautiful, so beautiful, he's mumbling in his smooth tone, he holds your waist steady with one hand and drags his palm over your back, your side, down to your thighs, his touch so gentle it could only be his. you can hear him breathing hard in your ear, can feel his heart pounding in his chest when he wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer. he kisses your nape, rests his hand over yours when he sees you grabbing a tight fistful of the pillow, his fingers caress your knuckles ever-so delicately as he fucks into you nice and slow until his pelvis is flush with your ass. you feel so good, want you to moan for me louder- can you say my name baby? that's it... I've got you... I love you, love you more than anything...

#I was happy when I first saw your ask because I always think of this too lolol #he's just.... so soft....#okay maybe he could look into your eyes by making you tilt your head back and that'd be kind of hot #but that's super uncomfortable for your neck and he wants you to be comfy #he'll run his fingers through your hair while you bury your face in the pillow and scream #it's like... I've always thought doggy is kind of an impersonal position because you can't see each other (maybe u understand)#but aki makes it *very* personal #he's constantly running his hands all over you and making sure you're hearing his voice #aki. I need you #ask mags #aki <3 #aki hayakawa x reader #aki x reader #aki hayakawa smut #aki smut

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