#and I think we're trying to be a derogatory here as possible

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Episode 3 Preview (aka Boston's Reign of Madness)

So this week's upcoming instalment is where this train to hot-mess-ville is well and truly about to kick off. Boston is really gunning for first prize in the chaotic red flag olympics for fuckery and shit-stirring. We get a brief but loaded glimpse into the many possible showdowns and throwdowns.

Boston VS Mew (Competition)

In Episode 2, Boston pointedly stares at a photo he took of Mew and Ray. From what we see, he chooses to incriminate his two best friends purely in a bid to drive a wedge between Mew and Top.

I really can't decipher what Boston's end goal is here. Is this purely, 100% egotistical, petty jealousy due to Mew 'one-upping' him for once, when he's usually the person who gets all the action? I don't necessarily think Boston wants a boyfriend in Top, so this is a lot of chaos to cause for very little, especially as Top seems rather indifferent about Boston other than sexually. I think Boston's absolutely right in that he and Top are two peas in a pod - they love being at the 'top' of their game, and they hate being bested. If he thinks this is going to get him exclusivity rights to Top junior, he's insane. He's clearly not bothered that his two best friends may end up as collateral in the process.

Top VS Ray (Rivalry)

This is a classic case of we both hate each other but we're trying to keep it on the downlow for Mew's sake. Ray's jealousy is more valid, because it's partly fuelled by genuine concern around Top's motives. Whereas Top's jealousy feels possessive. The way he interacts with Ray is a clear indication to 'back off, you're stepping on my property'. With Boston's false intel, he's only going to feel more justified to be combative with Ray.

Top also makes a comment about Sand's band which sounded derogatory. Either a snide little dig at Ray (already knowing he invited Sand), or just a plain dig nonetheless. If so, I'd highly welcome Ray to defend his boyfriend's honour. This is an altercation I would truly love to see. I want Ray to go full feral on this man. Because I swear to god Top, if you try to hurt my son, I will yeet you into the goddamn sun. (Force is doing a stellar job of plastering that incredibly punchable smug-ass expression across his face. My hands are itching to smack him one).

Sand & Ray (Friends or Boyfriends?)

The preview is cut to look like Nick finds Ray and Sand kissing in the car. But the shot of Nick is at the hostel. Whereas Ray and Sand are kissing in the garage outside Sand's apartment. It's unlikely anyone is watching them at that location.

Ray drives Sand home after being slighted by Top, and tries to seduce him (and unsurprisingly succeeds). This is also the scene where Sand says "I'll never take someone like you as my boyfriend". (Pretty presumptuous of you to assume Ray would want to take you as a boyfriend, unless he's the one to suggest it? Unlikely). If Ray's proposition breaks his personal rule of "I've never slept with anyone who's not my lover more than once", then in Sand's head he's going to start thinking of them that way, even if he agrees to just 'one more time'. This conversation is potentially where the two really muddy the waters on what on earth this is.

It's also going to get more interesting when someone from the group finds out about their relationship. Worst case scenario would be Boston finding out. Because the last thing we need is for him to have more leverage to pull strings in this tangled web.

Boston & Top (Lust)

Notoriously, we're going to get our two resident red flags committing adultery together. This happens the same night as the pool party. Something happens between Top leading Mew away from Ray, to Top vouching for some rigorous car seat action with Boston. Mew is seen taking a call in the preview, and it wouldn't surprise me if Boston has something to do with this. He sees Top lead Mew away, and potentially intercedes with a ploy.

Can we talk about how Boston is acting all sweet with Nick and kisses him on the cheek (in the same car) earlier in the day and then proceeds to bounce the living daylights out of Top that same night (in the SAME car)?? This boy doesn't give a shit.

Nick VS Top ('The Favourite')

Nick finds the photobooth strip of Boston and Top. Now if I was Nick, this does speak volumes. Boston comes across as very blasé about his sexual partnerships. He takes a lot of photos of other people (including Nick), but from what we've seen, he's always the one behind the camera. Which also maintains this unconscious power dynamic he exerts over most of his lovers. Whereas the photobooth shots feature Boston with someone else. He's not the observer, he's the subject. The fact that he's kept this memento, with the caption 'hot night' means it was so memorable that he held onto it. This is pretty clear proof that no, Nick is not 'his favourite' as he was led to believe. And yes, Nick is slightly naïve to believe that in the first place, but he's seeing through rose-tinted glasses.

Nick's jealousy is tricky, because he's backed himself into a corner by trying to play it cool and going along with being just a 'fuck buddy' and nothing else. He knows he'll risk affronting Boston almost immediately if he starts demanding for more.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends ep3 preview #ray x sand #sand x ray #top x mew #mew x top #nick x boston #boston x nick #khaotung thanawat #force jiratchapong #first kanaphan #neo trai #book kasidet #mark pakin

[scoobydooisadetective]

Hi. I just wanted to ask if it's possible for you guys to post the English translation of the Spanish posts? Tumblr doesn't have the translation option like X or Facebook

Hi! I'm guessing you're speaking about this post. Sure, no problem. I think it's relevant for everyone to know how long he has been in these kind of situations. I'll try to do my best w/ translation and offer some context.

Luz said in her post:

"I don't have a Twitter, I consider it an intolerant and racist world, this is the social network where Tenoch has the most bots against him, he receives a lot of hate and they generate that hate. But yesterday in a group they sent this picture, it's a publication about a radio host saying Tenoch apologized to him for being a person "without education and without ethics" according to his words.

(In the tweet: I share with you the picture when #TenochHuerta apologized to me for behaving as an uneducated being, without ethics and as the chairo without words he has always been. If I had known, I would've charged $1,800...

Note: Chairo doesn't have a translation, but it's basically derogatory way to to describe an individual who holds a far-left ideology, specifically any person who thoughtlessly defends, idolizes, and fawns over a populist politician and demagogue with an attitude similar to that of a religious fanatic.)

I thought it was weird and I found a publication made by the director Alonso Ruizapalacios in 2015 where he explains what happened that day

(full text here: https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02fkKp1ZGWvpcweaavk8e13ke4HQj2k616EPv75JrrExeEB49DUGPL7m31WJzGDqqil&id=1369494912&mibextid=Nif5oz)

"COMMERCIAL BREAK!

A few hours ago, me and Tenoch Huerta went to promote our movie GÜEROS at the radio show "Charros vs Gángsters", hosted by Jairo Calixto and some José Luis Guzmán "Miyagi" (I confess I didn't know about him until today).

Since we arrived at MVS Radio in Polanco, we saw patrols and riot policeman surrounding the radio station and preventing the production van from passing through. The driver suggested it was "because of that reporter that they are going to fire."

Despite this rarefied atmosphere, the inteview about the movie went like most interviews in radio and TV he (Tenoch) helped with in Mexico: wih cordiality, but with simple and unexciting (no preparation), but overall with the hysteria that characterizes a large amout of the communicators in our country - a kind of perpetual nervousness about not leaving even a moment of pause, to "fill the air" with whatever, with an incessant strident chatter that passes for irreverence and freshness. Despite that, we promoted our move without problem, between jokes about the Partido Verde and bestiality.

At the end of our interview, Tenoch took the floor and said: "Before we leave, I'd like to comment something in a personal capacity, I think it's necessary to have dialog to clarify the situation about the communicator Cármen Aristegui and her firing from this radio station." In that moment "Miyagi", who had not heard a single word about Güeros nor had he looked up from his iPad during our entire conversation, ordered: "Let's go on commercial break!" and it was obeyed immediately in the cabin. After a awkward painful silence, Tenoch and I realized we had finished. After a painfully awkward silence, Tenoch and I realized that we were done. We approached to say goodbye to our hosts, who barely shook our hands, without looking us in the eyes. But before leaving Miyagi told us: “We opened the microphones for something else, not so that you could continue with that…” To which Tenoch responded “We just want to know what is happening with Aristegui.” And nothing else was said.

We went out of the MVS with our heads spinning aournd, trying to understand what had just happened. And we still continue to not understand...

My interpretation: We're still trapped in this climate where communicators -even those who brag about being irreverent- fear (maybe justifiably) about their continuity in the enterprises that pay their salary. We're still living in a climate of very litte solidarity and a lot of intolerance.

Maybe "Miyagi" simply made a mistake and acted on impulse, a byproudct of the frustration from reading trolls against him since he didn't defend Cármen Aristegui. Or maybe the sushi upsetted his stomach... But what he did was censorship, it's indisputable. Turning your back on such a valid and relevant question and go on commercial break when things get awkward, in true Televisa style, was something surprising to witness live.

I don't have information to venture an absolute theory about all of this, nor to affirm that it is censorship that comes from above, or if it's rather self-censorship, a product of fear. But that there's something rotten in Denmark, I have no doubt.

While I appreciate the space that was opened to talk about our film, I deeply regret the continuation of this state of fear we live in.

I'm sorry that our communicators don't look at us in the eyes. I'm sorry there's no room for pauses. And I'm sorry there's no time to listen.

Context on who is this journalist and why this happened:

On 12 March 2015, two journalists from MVS, Daniel Lizárraga and Irving Huerta, were fired after they used the station's brand name without permission in a newly created website known as MexicoLeaks, which leaked reports on government corruption. Aristegui issued an ultimatum and threaten to quit if MVS did not reinstate her two staff members. Four days later, MVS fired Aristegui after considering that she had crossed the line for issuing an ultimatum to the MVS management.

My friend Tenoch says: My name is José Tenoch Huerta Mejía, mexican.

I love who I am, where I live and with who I live.

I don't like what's going on in my country, it's not the country I grew up in, nor the one I want to live in.

I don't understand a lot of things and as many more I'm scared about what we're living.

It hurts my soul to know that thousands are no longer hugging their families when their time had not yet come.

I wonder what's up, what can I do so everyone can be alright, the truth is I don't know but I decided to talk and ask.

I have nothing against any politician or people in power, I just want a different country.

I don't want one where we're all poor to be equals, but one where we're rich at heart, pockets and tummy to decide what to do with our time in this land.

Yersterday I asked something I needed to know, the mic was open and I asked.

Today, someone went to my house, intimidated me while hiding their face behind a brown scarf and a newspaper. They took photos of me, laughed mockingly at me and then disappeared into the hallways of the place where I live and have called home the last four years of my life.

What did I do wrong? Ask, say that I don't like any of this, thinking that we could have a better life, think?

A lot of people supports and helps me, but what about those that don't have the fortune to be visible?

I write this and I cry because I don't want to live like this, we don't deserve to live like this.

Mexico hurts my guts.

My little corner on land that gives me food and air to breath, that gives me a house and family.

I love my country, I love my people and even you, who doesn't understand we can live in a better way.

Thank you for your support, for being there and might our voices and hearts always sing.

We deserve something better.

Then, Luz adds:

What really happened was that exactly 8 years ago, in that booth, there was no freedom of speech, Tenoch tried to speak about a topic and was quickly cut off. Another account later shared that Tenoch had reported that he was being followed and photographed.

What I'm trying to say is that they have always hated him for telling them to their faces what he thinks about some topic and that makes them angry, they "can't stand it." Now that he is doing a little better, they are trying by all means to ruin his career. Tenoch himself has mentioned it in many interviews, and they have paid the media to destroy him.

I think we have to be careful, those media and haters are always aware of all the publications about him and if it is something controversial they can manipulate, they will do it, have no doubt about that, even if it is from years ago.

Do not react, do not comment or retweet, only report the publication if it has racist content. Never try to talk to them, it's not worth it. (Personal note: Please listen to this!! Especially twitter folks, since it might be counterproductive. By fighting them, you're offering them more interactions because that's how the algorithm works).

---

Hope this helped!

#tenoch huerta

[thefirstknife]

So I’m a little confused by the cutscene from today and I know you’re usually the best person to ask for lore stuff, are we absolutely sure this was the traveler standing it’s ground and saying “I’m here come and get me” or was the traveler going to leave and try and run?

Super hard to say. Really, we have no clue. We've not heard anything from the Traveler in a while. In a way, it feels definitely deliberate, making us come to our own conclusions about its actions.

Given the fact that it stayed the moment the nukes were gone, I'd say it was standing its ground. Or possibly trying to at least minimise damage. From all we know, it could've just left and kept going as far as it could, although it is true that the chances of leaving the system are almost zero. However, it could've probably avoided the immediate warsat damage if it flew further away. But it didn't!

The movement feels more like a precaution than anything else, especially with it hanging around in orbit. Ofc, it might still move again later, but for now it's still with us and that really says a lot.

A lot of people will probably call it cowardly or evil or whatever other derogatory names and I'll always maintain that they simply do not understand what the Traveler is or what it does.

The Traveler is its own being with its own feelings and character and goals. We do not own it, we have no inherent rights to it and we were never supposed to keep it forever. It should be free to leave whenever as its gifts to us have far exceeded any gifts anyone has ever received. People need to realise that the idea of eternal and rightful ownership of the Traveler and the idea that it should do what we say is the idea of our enemies.

The fact that it still hangs around with us (it could've left once it woke up after Red War or when it healed fully in Arrivals or even after Witch Queen and of course now) means that it chose to do so. And one day it may choose to actually depart. Perhaps one day when we defeat our enemies and it's safe to move around the universe and we're no longer in any danger, the Traveler will feel like it can continue on its quest. Until then, it is very likely standing ground with us.

But also keep in mind that interpreting the Traveler is the setting's most coveted ability and nobody has been able to do it without fail. Whatever its plans or goals are right now, we have no idea and can only extrapolate from what we already know. I think most are in agreement that the most recent move was a defensive action, for itself and for us.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the seraph spoilers #traveler #ask #i immediately saw so many comments online about how the traveler is evil and like. pls #it didnt even leave fully. but even if it did it would be fine? like it's allowed to save itself #if it dies we all go down with it so it's not exactly an entirely selfish action to protect itself #by protecting itself it also protects ghosts and guardians #it's super chilling actually that it's still here with the entire fleet descending on us #and we know that next season there's pyramid cities on earth #genuinely i am so scared for the traveler and would've been happier if it moved further away #it's so exposed here now. i am very concerned for it

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Please enjoy some Snape body-swap AU ideas that have been rattling around my head for a week; I do like body swaps with Sirius, but imagine the possibilities if it was someone else. - Severusish's "Western AU" Anon

= = =

During the 2nd War/Harry's era:

Petunia "I CAN'T HAVE MAGIC!!!! I'M NORMAL!!!" Dursley and Severus "Tuney is going to ruin everything! Got to get back to Hogwarts now!" Snape (ft. Snape chewing out Vernon and having to navigate by muggle means while Petunia is just having a crisis)

Remus "it's a full moon and I'm not in pain, but damn you live like this Severus???" Lupin and Severus "I'm downing a whole gallon of Wolfsbane as soon as I can" Snape

Rubeus "everything is so large and heavy :( " Hagrid and Severus "everything is so small and breakable >: ( " Snape

Narcissa "I'm off to the Ministry to make history" Malfoy (in Lucius' body), Severus "do I really have to attend all these parties?" Snape (in Narcissa's body), and Lucius "your quarters at Hogwarts are spartan and all you have is four cloaks in the same color and style in your wardrobe; this is an intervention" Malfoy (in Severus' body)

Gilderoy/Severus "You're not taking my body anywhere dressed like that" Lockhart/Snape (ft. Lockhart trying to steal Snape's potion ideas)

[5th/6th year] Tom "an opportunity has fallen into my lap" Riddle and Severus "NO! NO! NO! NO!" Snape (ft. several failed attempts to kill Harry through increasingly stupid dumb-luck means)

= = =

During the 1st war or Snera:

Lily "what do you mean I can't kill Voldemort at the DE meeting?!" Evans (in Snape's body), Severus "if I have to spend one more moment with Black/Lupin/Pettigrew, I'm committing murder" Snape (in James' body), and James "I think we might be pregnant! What do I do?!?!" Potter (in Lily's body)

Peter/Severus "HE'S THE TRAITOR!?" Pettigrew/Snape

Severus "I've never been this popular (derogatory)" Snape and James "I've never been this unpopular (derogatory)" Potter [though, this is funnier if one of them is having a good time and the other is not, or they both end up having a good time and are uneasy about that]

Remus "Sirius! James! Peter! Stop! It's me!" Lupin and Severus "Unlike some people, Lupin, I'm not going to just stand here doing nothing like a coward" Snape

Regulus "Stop making my body slump! Blacks don't slump! Have some decorum!" Black and Severus "I am taking full advantage of your family's dark arts library while we're stuck like this" Snape

Petunia "SUCK IT DUMBLEDORE! WHO CAN'T COME TO HOGWARTS NOW!?" Evans and Severus "She's going to get me expelled or, worse, murdered!" Snape

Albus "Severus, my dear boy, it is critical that we return to our original bodies" Dumbledore and Severus "Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, you are expelled!" Snape

New obsession

I love this so much omg 🤣🤣🤣

The Lily, Snape, and James one is so *chefs kiss*

Also, Remus and Sev switching bodies is a MUST SEE😭😭

I never considered body swap aus until now. Thank you, Western au anon 🙏🏽

#western au anon #severus snape #pro severus snape #pro snape #snape community #hp fandom #snera

[izamationbroker]

Gee, I wonder who they're talking about! ☆

Now, before I get into the nitty-gritty about this post, I want to make clear of one very important thing:

I don't care whether they headcanon Izaya to have ASPD or not.

In fact, this post isn't really going to be much about Izaya at all. Sorry if you were hoping for a big debate, but per my disclaimer about fandom discourse, I really don't care when people disagree with me. Everyone has their own headcanons, and they're free to enjoy those headcanons however they want.

However,

What rubs me the wrong way about this post is the vaguepost slander and blatant ableism they cite as their evidence.

The language they use to describe people who headcanon Izaya as having ASPD is consistently and intentionally derogatory in an attempt to emphasize inexperience and discredit. That's crossing the line for me from "let it be" to "stepping on my lawn". I know they didn't directly mention me, but it the statement above it's hard to think of anyone else they could have possibly been referring to. That's a deliberate attempt to put me down and start beef from my perspective.

I addressed this at the very beginning of my original essay on Izaya, making clear that I was not a psych professional and that I relied a lot on basic research and the experiences of loved ones who had ASPD. I admitted that I hadn't read all of the novels. I wrote that essay in response to an ask from a friend who wanted me to go in detail about it. Naturally, differential diagnosis is a thing, and on top of that, this is a fictional character we're talking about. It's only fair that different people will interpret the text in different ways.

I was in no way trying to make the case that it was canon, because the only way one could argue it's canon is if Narita said so himself. I won't step on other people's toes about their headcanons if I don't agree with them. Just because I don't personally headcanon Izaya as autistic doesn't mean I'm going to make a long-ass post "debunking" the very possibility and vague the guy who did a writeup on how Izaya fits the criteria (No, in fact I was actually inspired by that post for the format of my own on ASPD).

This person, on the other hand, felt such a visceral disgust to the very notion that this fictional character could possibly have ASPD, that they felt the need to make a post to "debunk" it, like some kind of gross rumor. What does that say about how that person views ASPD and the real people who have it?

That brings me to my second issue with this post: The blatant ableism.

This post makes two main points about why Izaya couldn't have ASPD, and both of those points reek of ablism. "Lack of remorse" is a complex issue in the realm of ASPD, and I see it all the time with my brother and partner, who both have ASPD. From what I understand from the post, the poster seems to believe that people with ASPD are simply incapable of feeling remorse. That is really not the case. In fact, the quoted diagnostic criterion in the DSM V they are referencing says this:

"7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another"

It's more than just a "lack of remorse," the DSM expands further to describe that this criterion is met when some either displays indifference or otherwise rationalizes their actions. Furthermore, there is a marked difference between regret, guilt, and remorse. Like I said, it's a complicated matter.

I know my partner has talked about it already on their own blog, but I wanted to restate it here: People with ASPD are capable of feeling remorse is select situations with select people. For example, in my essay about Izaya, I mentioned that he regrets how Mairu and Kururi turned out because he raised them. They're his family, and very close to him. It makes sense that they would be important to him and exist as an exception to his tendency to rationalize everything he does.

My brother and partner regret things all the time, but usually that's more because of outside consequences rather than internal belief that what they did was wrong or that they hurt someone. Sometimes they feel guilt, but it's quickly rationalized away before they could ever take action on it. In certain circumstances, they have felt true remorse, and because they almost never deal with it, it's probably one of the most painful things they've ever experienced. To make the blanket statement that people with ASPD simply do not experience any form of this complex emotion is extremely dehumanizing and ableist, disregarding the possibility that people are complex and should not be limited a stereotype.

The second point this poster made was that Izaya's disregard for social norms could be explained away by his IQ, and to that I say

What year are you living in?

IQ is a funky little quiz that tests your logical and spatial reasoning rooted in eugenics as an excuse to dehumanize people who don't score high enough. There is nothing social about it, and even if there was, science in this day and age have discarded its relevancy. It's been reduced to a quirky number that puzzle game apps use in their mobile ads to entice you to download them. "People with an extremely low IQ are not capable of understanding the social norms"? Just say they're r*tarded and call it a day. Seriously. Autistic people everywhere (myself included) would be disgusted at this display.

TLDR: Don't gossip and spread ableist propaganda. Oh, and

Stay off my lawn.

#tw ableist language #tw ableism #aspd #discourse #the broker speaks #I'm not putting this in iza's tag this has nothing to do with the headcanon itself

[khodorkovskaya]

24.12.22

im so excited for christmas! even tho im orthodox so i don't celebrate it now. but my stepdad does so we're gonna cook traditional christmas dinner tonight and it's gonna be lots of fun! also my friend from zurich is here and he suggested to go clubbing tonight and im gonna dress up as santa, im gonna have a beard and everything, it's gonna be great! i hope he's not gonna cancel last minute bc im so hyped for this!!! will post pics to show you guys my costume! 🎅🏻

anyway, yesterday i went shopping with my stepdad for the upcoming christmas dinner and i thought about B quite a lot. bc something is missing from my understanding of the whole situation. explanations such as "it was the age difference" or "you're very different" or "it's his culture" just don't convince me. although sure, many of these factors don't help. (apart for the """cultural difference""" argument bc it comes from my racist father and he can fuck off. like say what you want about B but his ethnicity has nothing to do with any of this.)

so i thought a lot bc it is weird. i was with this dude for 5 and a half years and, as id concluded the other day, i was unhappy all along. was i just so in love for five years that it didn't bother me? why did i stay and not say anything? and if it wasn't love then what was it? why couldn't we make it work for so long, causing me to pack all my belongings and move out all of a sudden without an explanation? so much of it doesn't add up if i think about it. and what's even weirder is that if someone asks me to explain why i left him, i often don't know what to say apart from half-heartedly repeating what everyone around me has been saying like "ohh we weren't compatible". but staying with someone for five and a half years and then moving out is a huge decision. so why can't i explain it, without my explanation not feeling genuine?

i tried to remember how i would feel every time B would do something that frustrated me. my process would be to (1) feel sad/angry/dissatisfied, (2) think about how to tell him about it or attempt to tell him, (3) not find a reason why or a way to explain it and (4) let it go and move on bc, after being unable to find a valuable reason for my frustration, my feelings didn't feel valid. and because this would happen on almost a daily basis, id quickly go through all those 4 steps and move on, never bringing up the things that bothered me.

now, why could i never find a proper way to explain my feelings? i think it all comes down to my superficiality and lack of values. (i don't mean it in a derogatory way. i was a teenager for most of our relationship and due to my lack of life experience, i lacked depth and hadn't had the time to discover my own values. it's all very natural i think.) i had always had difficulty telling right from wrong and forming opinions. and because i function in terms of efficiency, always naturally trying to find my way out of things that require a lot of effort, id never want to put in the effort into digging a little deeper to find the answers. it's much easier to move on and forget, instead of actually going through with trying to understand your feelings. and, when you don't know right from wrong, understanding why you feel a certain way is an even harder task.

B, on the other hand, functions with the carrot and stick method and has issues with empathy. if you don't explicitly tell him what to do and insist on it very harshly, he will continue to do otherwise and not pick up on any possible ques. plus, for most of our relationship, he was in an obsessive episode that i was encouraging by not speaking up. i couldn't tell if his obsession was right or wrong and, again, it was much easier to let it slide than to actively try to find the tools to get him out of it. again, i didn't want to dig deeper and question what was happening bc i never even questioned my superficial approach to life in general.

now the question is, why am i superficial? one of the reasons B thought that our relationship didn't work out is because im hypersensitive. honestly, i believe this hypothesis bc, as B pointed out, i have adhd and it's super common for people with adhd to have sensory processing sensitivity. and plus ive always felt like i perceive everything x100. when i was little i couldn't wait to grow up bc i was a big crier as a kid and i thought it would go away as i got older. but it never went away. i still cry almost every day and often have to hide in the bathroom at social events bc something makes me want to cry lol. hot girlies have SPS, okay? when lana said "pretty when you cry", she was talking about us hypersensitive girlies.

but anyway, isn't it a bit contradictory that im superficial and let everything slide and yet im super sensitive? well, i think it makes a lot of sense. since i experience everything x100, it's hard to tell right from wrong bc it's all just too much. and bc i cry for no reason, when i cry for a reason, i can't tell which situation is more important. hence, i just want to avoid any kind of sensitive situation and that's also why i refuse to dig deeper and have a less superficial understanding of things.

QED ⬛

anyway, the last time i thought this much about myself was when i was like 13 lol. so far ive done 2 days of self analysis and it did help me answer a lot of questions about me and B. and now i feel a bit more at peace. and, sure, now that i reread it all it does come off as a bit cringe at times. like i don't want to come off as if i think im special or anything. and it was just a bad/mediocre relationship and it's not that deep after all. but im glad im finally evolving and thinking and analysing, it helps me grow. merry christmas xoxo 💋

#december #the mathematician in me is very happy with this analysis #also im not saying B did nothing wrong! #but i think that now i finally understand why i reacted the way i did

[saewokhrisz]

......amadis/avad.....👀

[head in hands] is this who we are ?! is this what we represent ???

but i guess this is the little boat ill be rowing, thanks @foibles-fables

also just to preface i am engaged with these two on such a surface level but its also SO intruiging as a concept, but also hard to imagine an indepth characterisaqtion for amadis cuz he doesnt have one so we'll make shit up i think suits as we go, mostly basing on the comics cuz he was too wishy washy in "need to know" for me

who is more likely to hurt the other?

girl help amadis will upset the soft hearted king first ill put my money on it

who is emotionally stronger?

neither and i will stand my ground on this, theyre just have lots of bottles to package emotions in, like a liqour store (also amadis has 0 emotional inteligence im sorry)

who is physically stronger?

avad OBVIOUSLY

who is more likely to break a bone?

amadis cuz hes an idiot like that, but also definietly out on the field more

who knows best what to say to upset the other?

amadis, like have yall seen how he talks to talanah in the comics mans is so mean and for what

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?

avad. its avad. again, 0 emotional inteligence for amadis (but he can try and learn with time)

who treats who’s wounds more often?

the one who is most likely to break his leg is also the one most likely to get treated, and what is love if not learning first aid (when as royalty u literally dont have to) so u can patch up the idiot carja trapper u managed to find as ur boyfriend

who is in constant need of comfort?

amadis hisses as the idea of someone comforting him, and avad is a well adjusted (debatable) man , but yk when ur mean cat will come into ur room to sit inconveniently close to u when ure in a shitty mood? yeah that

who gets more jealous?

amadis, we're talking about THE sun king, cmon, how many possible courters could marad find him is unknown, but he does not handle the idea of that remotely great

who’s most likely to walk out on the other?

amadis LMAO?

who will propose?

avad, as we know, is not shy about doing so at all LMAO

who has the most difficult parents?

can we get an ouja board in here?

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?

avad (much to amadis' dismay)

who comes up for the other all the time?

amadis is so insufferable (derogatory) about nessa/rittaka and WILL also be insufferble (affectionate) about avad, and also i mean, when u live in meridian, with the sunking...hard to avoid hearing abt him in conversation!

who hogs the blankets?

the boyfriend from the caves vs his radiance the sunking? avad obviously

who gets more sad?

constant sad boy hours for these two theyre so annoying (affectionate), but im leaning towards amadis, esp during that adjustment period of moving into the sundom and accepting that rittaka moved on with her life

who is better at cheering the other up?

avad !!

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

leaning on royal/noble upbringing for both id say neither are likely, but id think amadis would have a broader body language??? esp after time at the carja millitary that noble upbringing gets washed down a bit

who is more streetwise?

Mr. Man of the Woods

who is more wise?

avad! (when he doesnt leave his braincells home, which uh was apparently not the case when aloy returned to meridian, sir why)

who’s the shyest?

...no comment. its amadis.

who boasts about the other more?

sunking "i will hype up my pathetic little boyfriend from the caves" avad, but seriously i think he'd talk quite fondly of him :(?

who sits on who’s lap?

poor avad tries to get his screeching racoon of a bf to sit in his lap at least 3 times before his dumbass realises he actually likes it, after that its just free seat at most occasions, when no ones around

#oh my God #welp. #i kinda wanna draw the last one i think itd be FUN #avad/amadis #avad #amadis #thanks foibs and robin this was a Journey #would do it again tbh #asks #ask meme #hfw

[ruindunburnit]

Can we talk about my biggest pet peeve in the House of Night series? Thanatos was said to be almost 500 years old. Why the effing hell does nobody talk about the fact that she was born shortly past the middle ages!? You're telling me there are adults in that school who have lived through wars and those old victorian paintings, the discoveries of science and there are literal immortals running around and the kids aren't all over that? Has Nyx seen dinosaurs? Why is no one talking about that? What were the fucking middle ages like? I wanna know so badly! Why and how did nobody ever ask about that!?

Okay but this is a fantastic point and I would love to talk more about it! There's such a strange incuriosity that the fledglings -- and vampyres in general -- have around history and historical events that it just completely baffles me. Because you're right! There's surely no way that the younger characters wouldn't give more than half-a-whoop to finding out "what really happened" way back then! And if a real teenager had a chance, surely they would ask Nyx if She saw the dinosaurs and what She thought to them, and if Spielberg's films captured them very well at all.

I've taken a little while to think about this ask because I really wanted to chew on it, and I think I have two ideas as to why it possibly is as it is, going strictly by the Cast canon, but I don't like what they say.

The first is a Watsonian explanation: there's very little focus on what these ancients know from the past because the big conflict of the series story is (at least supposedly) "how do you take a culture that's old and imbued with tradition and keep it alive and contemporary?" It's not a bad question to base a series like HON around, and it is something that many old and ancient traditions and religions have been trying to answer. And you do see that from different characters, from Shekinah and the High Council (it's okay to be modern, but these are what we do and we don't enjoy most change if any), to Neferet (let's go back to the older ways and isolate even more), to Sgiach (there are parts of the traditions you refuse to acknowledge and I will be over here until you're ready to acknowledge them), to Zoey (they're great and precious but we're not modernising enough and we're too insular). But as a result, it does mean that we don't even give a thought to the history that all these traditions come from, or the memories and voices of the past that inform the present. I (as I often do) also wonder where the Burning Times figure in all this and if it may have shortened the cultural memory somewhere -- as cataclysmic, apocalyptic events suffered by an entire people tend to do (and there are a few very real ones we could refer to here as examples!) -- but since it's almost as though the authors don't know what it involved, I'm not going to ask about it. (My own thoughts are all headcanon, and ergo, apocryphal to this discussion).

In any case, it's kind of hard to take that central thesis statement seriously when we don't have a lot to compare it to, and what we have feels either thrown in or, well, not very well done. As a result, the conflict of tradition versus progression is hamstringed by the lack of historical evidence on offer.

This brings me to my Doylian explanation: the characters are incurious about history because either the Casts are, or they're at least aware of their limitations in portraying it properly.

What do I mean? Well, we know the worldbuilding in the HON series is truly a sight to behold (derogatory), so what doesn't surprise me is that almost no one mentions what the context of having Known Vampyres running around might have done to change the events of history as we know it. I think that's the question we seem to dodge in the fandom (or one that I personally haven't seen asked), partly because we can infer from the series canon that very little (if anything) differs between their world and ours, yet if we think for more than five minutes, having an entire species of power-imbued Person running around, known openly to the world as vampyres, should have surely changed a lot! If almost nothing in history differs, and yet the existence of vampyres is the same, that tells me that these vampyres, who are so powerful and benevolent, saw the horrors of the past centuries being inflicted on their human siblings and, well, did nothing. I personally think that this aspect wouldn't be a bad thing to have as part of the canon, since trying to incorporate historical differences could have led to a Revisionist rewriting of history that would have been executed really poorly or at least been dubbed incredibly insensitive (which no doubt it would have been, given their track record). I can see why the Casts went along the route of "vampyres leave the human world behind and do their own thing" on that score, although it doesn't explain why nothing of historical events differed at all, since vampyres would have had to interact with the human world at some point anyway. That is, I think having that complexity and shame to vampyres taking a bystander stance to the human world and its problems, when they know they can do so much good, would have been interesting to explore! However, for the Casts to realise that this state of unchanged history in a world with vampyres in it would require vampyres to be bystanders to misery, and acknowledge it, they would have found it very difficult to reconcile it with the image they hold of their vampyres as ultimately good and wonderful.

Meanwhile, the other problem is that when the Casts have tried to give voice to history, such as with the backstories and flashbacks of various characters like Neferet and the Lankfords and Lenobia, it's turned out so, well, bad! The inaccuracies alone have been so outstanding, I have to assume they were writing by the seat of their pants the whole time and hoping you couldn't see the cracks, and I can see why they hesitate to delve into it.

That is, I assume they don't have the young characters asking about history because the older characters would, by their characterisation, be required to answer, and P.C. and Kristin Cast simply do not know the answers and hesitate to find out. Because they don't know enough about history and don't seem to know how to go about finding the answers, they haven't asked how much it would have changed with vampyres in it, and they hesitate to bring it up.

In short, sadly, the answer is incompetence and ignorance. I would love to know what you think to this long, slightly rambling answer, though!!!

#House of Night #Theories and Headcanons #ask #this was an excellent one #history and vampyres #the yikes fodder if they had tried would have been off the charts #and may have involved some white saviour nonsense

[heartofspells]

You care about your friends, and that scares me sometimes? Not in a bad way! But I am sometimes afraid to accidentally say something insensitive and have you yell at me?

I do like how you speak up for them, and won't let shit slide but I am also kind of ~waves from far away~

Do I yell? I don't really try to do that, but I'll be the first to admit I get very defensive because I don't like seeing the people I like and care about hurt and demoralized for any reason, especially pointlessly. There's never a reason for that, senseless attacks that come from nowhere about things that shouldn't matter.

But here's the thing: I'm not the one to immediately jump to conclusions about things. If you say something that could possibly read as insensitive, I'm not going to automatically launch an attack. I'll read it over and over again, try to think about it from multiple points of view. I'll talk to my friends about it, especially if it relates to one of them specifically, and get their takes on it if necessary. I'll also ask you directly about your meaning behind it. We're adults here, at least the people I associate with. We can handle things maturely. I'll only ever lash out if it's clearly hateful and derogatory with no other possible meaning behind it. I'm a protective person of those I care about, and always have been because I've had to be. That part of me isn't changing.

BUT, maybe you should look at it this way. Instead of waving at me from afar, if you come a little closer, you'll get brought to that other side of the line and I'll be just as protective of you, just as I am with everyone I like for whatever reason. I'm like a giant creature with impossibly long arms. I wrap people up in them and try to shield them as best as I can.

Send me something on anon you've been too scared to say to me.

#anon asks #ask #answer #lovely anons #but yeah i CHOMP the baddies #sorry not sorry #i love my people

[thegittelbug]

Got back online after shabbos to a particularly nasty message from my sister in law saying a bunch of false and derogatory things about my marriage, how she and her father both disliked me, and how if I wanted to have a relationship with her I would have to do better.

For context, she and my husband had a bit of a fight while their dad was selling their childhood home and she told him to stop speaking to her (I wasn't involved, but heard about it from him). We gave her some space to cool off. I reached out to say I was thinking of her, hoped she was doing well, and asked how her grad school classes were going, and that's when she replied with the above.

I have a particularly low tolerance for drama.... It's just not something I want to deal with, especially when the family is separated by thousands of miles and multiple time zones, we're just not able to remain in close contact the way you could if you were in the same city. It's kinda lonely, sure. I talked to my husband and she's been struggling a lot with her mental health and lashing out inappropriately at others for a while now. I'm trying to be as charitable as possible to her about this, communication misunderstandings over the distance, etc. But this was a) completely out of the blue sort of accusations, b) super inappropriate (not to mention false) for someone to say that sort of stuff about our marriage, c) nothing concrete that I had done, just general complaints about how I was mean and disappointing and ignoring her. The "best" way I can reasonably read her message is that she's hurting and taking her anger out on me, and like, my heart goes out to her for her hurt, but I am not here to be someone's punching bad. My husband was also pretty upset and wanted to reach out to her for me. I asked him not to just yet because I'm not really sure what to say and don't want to react out of anger and have the whole situation spiral. So. Gut voch everyone, I guess.

[ahoysailorsteve]

I wish I was on Tumblr/twitter after S2 aka at the height of the Steve revolution, he was so fucking iconic in that season( he always is but still) I'm sure the love for him was overwhelming not that people don't love him now but it maybe calmed down a little? Especially with everyone having another white boy to thirst over 😂 I think all in all when you take everything in he's the general audience's favorite but I'm thinking the S2 hype would have been unparalleled.

okay get ready for an annoyingly long post.

so I joined the fandom in 2018, almost a full year after s2 came out, so I didn't experience the immediate reaction. but I WILL say that 2018-june-ish 2019 was my favorite time in this fandom, especially among steve lovers (possibly until the past few months where it appears we're getting a renaissance.) I made some really amazing and talented friends on here that have since either deleted or just straight-up abandoned their blogs over the hiatus. but I would log on here every day to amazing fanart and fics and general unhinged nonsense and it was just so FUN to thirst and be weird openly on each other's posts. like, if you think my tags are ridiculous now you should see the stuff I said there back then, openly, under the many smut fics I would reblog from my friends who were just as crazy about him as I was.

now, its not like the talented creators and amazing work have just disappeared, I know SO many creators that write amazing fics and make fanart and gifsets that blow me away. but like, the ✨️culture✨️ (derogatory) has unfortunately changed so much on this site that sometimes it feels weird putting ns//fw or even just thirsty stuff on my blog now. like I know these amazing creators are putting their work out into the world but reblogging it I get......shy??? is that possible even though y'all don't actually know me?? idk. but I don't engage with content the way I, and so many others, used to. and I know that's a discussion being had in the creative communities too, that engagement is down because people aren't reblogging and sharing content the way they did 2-3 years ago, so I'm trying to work on that to support everyone making amazing content for us.

I really think it's not so much that people have calmed down, they've just moved those unhinged thirsty thoughts to discord chats or DMs or whatever makes them feel more comfortable, not the dashboard for the world to see. maybe we need to get back to that though, because the collective fandom losing our minds over s2 steve was the highlight of my tumblr experience, and I think with the right feral audience we can bring that back 🖤

#I've been thinking about this a lot lately actually #I dont really have a group here anymore and I hardly interact with anyone outside of occasional replies and reblogs and stuff #so sometimes I feel like the weird girl sitting in the corner shouting about thirsty shit in the tags while everyone else has like #message convos to do that in #I'm not complaining bc I never reach out to anyone either #but sometimes I get really self conscious about posting my actual thoughts or the content I like so I just...... #backspace and exit out of the post screen lmao #and with fics and stuff idk. I just get SO shy about it sometimes but??? why??? yall's writing is so good??? #maybe I'll ease into reblogging unhinged content again #anyway tl;dr old fandom lady waxes poetic about the way things used to be #steve harrington #anonymous #answered #sidenote. I miss pepper. my first fandom friend. </3

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

A weird stereotype I've noticed: at the motel I work at, I keep seeing super rich young couples, always a blonde Hispanic girl and a really thin muscular black guy, late teens to early 20s, they drive a European sportscar worth more than my parents' house, they wear designer clothes, they look like Influencers™ (derogatory), and they absolutely HATE each other! Over the last year I must have seen at least four couples like this, maybe five, I've lost count. And no, it's not the same couple each time, unless they give out fake names with new phone numbers and different cars (which for all I know could be a possibility when they're that rich). They do nothing but fight for days on end, yelling so loudly I can hear it through the walls. And when they're not yelling at each other, he's yelling at people online because they always bring a PS5 or an Xbox, and he RAGES like a 12 year old hopped up on Mountain Dew and red dye from Cheetos. They curse at each other in lightning fast Spanish, and she drops the n-word more than the aforementioned 12 year old.

I don't know if this is a nationwide thing, but it happens so often down here I have to wonder what the deal is? Was there a glitch in the matrix and the NPC generator got stuck in a loop? I don't think they're runaways, but they're clearly trying (and failing) to stay low because why else would they come to the cheapest hole in the wall motel in the entire Florida Keys? They're probably from Miami, almost certainly from rich parents; doctors, politicians, real estate developers, you name it. How else do you explain their apparent fortune? How many couples are there like this? What are they hiding from? They always book a room for as long as possible, extending their stay for as many weeks as they can until we hit a weekend when we're sold out, so it has to be more than just an impromptu vacation. Maybe mommy and daddy cut them off and now they're coasting on their "meager" 6-to-7-figure savings.

I don't get it.

#my work #my job #motel #you see all sorts of colorful characters down here #rich kids #weird couple #couple #miami #florida keys #the keys #i'm 95% sure it's a different couple each time

[queerpyracy]

My poet buddy of mine who is an ex-logger and ex-environmental activist, likes to tell an anecdote about the time he was blowing down Interstate 5 along with the director of an environmental activist group. His passenger came suddenly unglued as they passed a log truck loaded with big old-growth #1 Peelers.

"You motherfucker!" the director shouted while flipping the driver the bird, "We're going to shut you down, you tree-killing sonovabitch!"

Maybe the truck had a bumper-sticker that he found offensive or maybe it was just the sight of those fat logs that set the director off and turned some poor schmuck of a truck driver into a scapegoat for all that was wrong and frustrating in the director's pitifully small world. Yet many log-truck drivers also "reduce, re-use and recycle" and the target of that up-thrust finger may have been stacking his newsprint in a recycling bin for years. Maybe the director's contorted face and his one-finger salute confirmed the trucker's worst suspicions about environmentalists and their alleged, "socialist agenda." In all likelihood, the driver never even noticed.

My neighbors find it unremarkable that mill workers, loggers and log-truck drivers recycle. To them, anyone who thinks that timber workers don't love the land is just another ignorant (and arrogant) outsider trying to tell them how to live without bothering to first learn about their lives.

#

Another friend, a tie-dyed-in-the-wool middle-aged flower child, runs a health food store in a local small (population: 1,100) town. A half-dozen years ago, when spotted-owl fever was running about 109.7 degrees Fahrenheit, he was "encouraged" to place a dayglo-green placard in his store window reading: "This Business Supported by Timber $$$$."

"Screw the mill owners," he told the committee, "They've been shafting everyone around here for years--running the gyppos out, cutting wages, killing the fish. Now they got their tits in a wringer and they want me to help get them loose?"

As the only business on Main Street that didn't display the placard, he found himself isolated and boycotted. During those days, two Earth First!ers from Santa Cruz showed up in his store. No doubt feeling more comfortable in the store than they'd been out on the sidewalks, they started loudly voicing their views on the old-growth question, blaming it on "asshole redneck loggers" who'd been "duped by the timber-nazis."

"You guys don't know shit," my friend told them, "You're the only assholes around here. Quit bad-mouthing my neighbors and get the fuck out of my store."

Robert Leo Heilman, "Talking Trash" from Overstory: Zero: Real Life in Timber Country

Quick note about the term "gyppo": It occurs a few times throughout Overstory: Zero, and is explained as a term that refers to a kind of independent logger that was most common after WW2 and largely no longer exists. It does ultimately derive from the anti-Roma slur, and though came to be used neutral-to-positively later, was derogatory at the time of its origination. I've tried to avoid posting selections with this term, but felt it would be weird to make an omission in this passage without ultimately having to explain why. I've left it intact for this passage, because it's not my job to sanitize someone else's writing and I felt that it would flatten the nuance of the piece, but I will continue to largely avoid occurrences of the word where possible.

#robert leo heilman #overstory: zero

[nikethestatue]

hey nike, this is one of the first anons i've sent you, and i'm a bit nervous. hope all is well and you are healthy!

i have a problem, and i'm hoping you can help! i'm a multishipper, and don't really feel at home in the acotar fandom. i feel like elriel would be amazing (and is most likely canon) but i struggle to fit in--online. i have pretty severe mental illness, and it can make my life difficult--what i ship often depends on my mindset.

being a multishipper (especially right now) means i'm ridiculed and given a hard time. i'm exhausted, and i wanted to know what you would do--if people were giving you a hard time. Gwynriels have been A LITTLE more welcoming, and i'm trying to find my home-but don't want it to be with a ship that confuses me/that i don't like.

i had a huge issue last winter where i was called out and ridiculed for not knowing what to ship after acosf. and the truth is the book really unsettled me--it was like sjm turned the ACOTAR world upside down. i hated what the stans and SJM did to nesta. she could have been amazing--and they turned her into little more than a hole for cassian to fill.

if I'm honest, i don't want to ship gwynriel. i don't think what azriel did for gwyn was romantic--think about what it would mean for azriel to have ONLY HELPED GWYN because she's beautiful and he saw her being used. this preoccupation with gwyn's trauma and using it as a romantic tool upsets me greatly (I'm a C$A/r*p* survivor). Anyway... all food for thought and I wish I could be friends with more elriels.

Gwyn does deserve a healing arc (as all r*p* survivors do) and she deserves love. But forcing her into a relationship especially (she's less than a few years post-trauma like GODDAMN let the girl breathe!!) so soon after everything--leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

I wish I could have a rational conversation with gwynriels but I don't know what to do.

(I could also dive into Lucien's $A which no one seems to like to talk about. What if /he/ doesn't want Elain--especially after what Ianthe did to him--from what we're led to believe his $A was repeated over months) ANYWAY. yeah. I'm tired and I don't want the word rape bounced around my dash like it's a basketball--but there are some important things that need to be discussed. If I send another anon I'll sign it with a 🥀 emoji.

Sorry for the rambling nature of this ask. I'm exhausted.

So first of all, thank you for having the confidence to sent this. I am sure it wasn't easy.

I am a multi-shipper as well, and I absolutely understand. The fandom could be vicious. I personally don't understand why I have to hate Feyre to like Nesta, or hate Nesta to like Feyre, or like Elain and hate Nesta...you get the point. Yes, I will never be a Gwynriel, but beyond that, I like everyone and am able to appreciate all the characters' complexities, shortcomings and problems, without putting anyone down or hating on all of them.

Now, that aside, I think my general recommendation and that goes for everyone and for all social media--this is supposed to be FUN. Reading, discussing, shipping, whatever--it's not supposed to cause you anxiety, keep you up at night, make you feel inadequate in ANY shape or form, it should make you feel ashamed. Because realistically speaking, it's not real. All these little silly shipwars, arguments, pettiness--it's all over something that's fantasy, over made up characters.

That's why I am always rabidly against bringing up real life social issues into this sphere. Things like racism, any type of phobia, or whatever--doesn't belong here, because the characters live in a world that is not compatible with ours, so I don't waste my breath talking about hefty topics when it comes to these characters. Firstly, because it's nonsense, and second of all, you will inevitably hurt someone. I've been called every possible derogatory name and offensive stereotype, accused of absolutely insane things, by people who've never been in my shoes, yet feel that they have the authority to opine on things that they have no knowledge or experience with.

Now, I have thick skin and I don't typically care, because I have the presence of mind to understand that this is all fantasy. I've been in this fandom for a damn long time and I've only been truly upset once. Which is pretty good.

Now, what can I recommend? Honestly, you need to think of yourself, of your mental health. Some people remain lurkers forever, and never engage. And I understand the desire to engage, so I would say try to create content, maybe comment, but I wouldn't necessarily jump into attempting to be friends with people, until you are comfortable. Also, you ship what you ship. No one, other than you, cares. It's not serious, it's not life and death, and you'll never meet 99.9% of people that you come across on this or other platforms. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. You want to ship both Elriel and Gwynriel--do it! Who is gonna stop you? You dont have to answer to anyone, because again, this is supposed to be entertaining, fun, maybe inspiring to do something with art or writing. It shouldn't cause you heartache, sadness and distress. Also, I recommend blocking accounts that post things you dont like or find uncomfortable. And if you only follow 5 accounts, then so be it.

You should be #1 in your head--you are what matters. Not the opinions of strangers online. You have to make yourself happy with the content that you consume.

x

#anon response

[surpriserose]

Hi Chris! Live action stone ocean :]

NoooooOOOOOO 😭😭😭

God okay jts under the cut its so long i hate it so much

Jolyne is played by chloe bennet who i only know from the stupid powerpuff girls cw thing which would basically end up being powerpuff girls riverdale but i dont think its happening anymore. Anyways someone who is willing to be on the cw is willing to star in this im sorry

Hermes is played by Aubrey plaza who is apparently Puerto Rican so the producers can say theyre trying even though hermes still has dreads and it looks really awkward. Also not everyone sees hermes as butch but since i do and i want to cause as much psychic damage as possible hermes is advertised as very masc but its definitely these vibes

And it leads to so much discourse about how women can still be feminine and kick ass uwu 🥺🥺🥺. Also hermes kisses some random woman who is VERY MUCH NOT jolyne so they can say they have gay rep. Jolynes bisexuality is completely erased </3

Foo fighters im giving to kaitlyn dever who...i only know as the love interest from dear evan hansen and she probably deserves better than that </3 but anyways shes kind of got a baby face and idk a lot of people love to give that to foo so. Also foo is not nonbinary here and uses she/her pronouns 😔😔😔 and shes probably just some random prisoner since they dont want to spread the cgi budget too thin. Also foo is so so normal in this im sorry shes guy some lady (derogatory) you are not gonna see her doing any of the weird shit she does

Anasui is god i think i have to go for tom Holland who has no swag and anasui definitely needs to be played by someone with swag if you want people to even tolerate him so </3 it doesnt matter tho its tom holland he gets a dedicated fanbase the second the cast list is out and anasui becomes an uwu soft boy. Also hes got short hair now and wears like an actual outfit 😡 i dont even think they would dye tom hollands hair you cant mess up his image at all he needs to he so so marketable so they manage to make anasui as cishet as possible

Weather report ....idk but i want to say oscar isaac? Like its another case of i can definitely see it because no matter how much of a tumblr sanction man he becomes hes still a good actor. I want to say more but its definitely spoilers just know this causes so much discourse and its actually justified

Emporio idk who are the kid actors nowadays??? I want to say like fucking one of the stranger things kids but theyre all like 20 now or some shit. I think instead of going for finn wittock again theyre casting gavin matarazzo because emporio is now the comic relief kid im so sorry

Pucci....hmmm the first name that came to mind was Jonathan majors and like idk i can see it? Which is kind of the problem thats too good i like him and i technically wasted my one good casting card with oscar isaac except not really but also i cant have two good actors here oh christ i thought about don cheadle......no i cant do that to him but like hes actually closer in age to pucci than anyone else coming to mind omg i like don cheadle but omg....idk i cant see it so its don cheadle for pucci

Idk who the fuck i casted for dio and jotaro but like sure theyre probably still the same im not casting the minor villains im so sorry except i think they get andy serkis the weird cgi man to play lane wrangler

Other points

So many orange is the new black references especially if we're going for netflix adaptation vibes and not cw vibes

Kiss has boobs now 😔 so does stand foo fighters now probably 😔😔😔

Everyone looks so boring now but thats a given...i think they give anasui khakis

They probably get a camilla cabello song for the opening and oh god i remembered camilla cabello Cinderella....NO OH GOD BILLY PORTER IS LIKE OLD ENOUGH TO BE PUCCI TOO 😭😭😭 HE CANT PULL IT OFF IM SORRY move over don Cheadle youve been spared billy porter pucci hurts me more...

Anyways!!!

Lots of #girlboss and #girlpower feminism like...think the random shot of all the marvel women in endgame for 10 seconds and then they all lose or whatever its like that like they probably give anasui and weather more fights and screentime but jolyne is men am i right 🤪

Jolysui is canon and it is so so cishet </3</3</3 theyre definitely having a big climactic kiss

Jolyne probably has the whole biker gang stuff erased from her backstory so shes sweet and innocent uwu and its replaced with a father daughter bonding montage so the audience can go awww jotaro rly does care....🥺🥺🥺

Im torn between them making conservative pucci real and or gay and homophobic pucci real...probably the second one and its definitely played for laughs also puccis probably just some guy like this stone ocean is not gonna go off the rails

Jolynes mom still doesnt have a name

#Jjba #Stone ocean #Ask to tag? #Im so sorry this is so painful....

[babylooneytoonz]

Warnings: Bucky has a nightmare, more truths revealed, Dark Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier mode .

Note – The dialogues in 'bold italics' are not mine. These are their quotes from the comics.

Link to Coffee Stains Masterlist here.

You welcomed this newly found relationship that had blossomed between you and the Winter Soldier. The two of you were inseparable, joint at the hip. If he was at the gym, you were somewhere around, and the two of you couldn't stop either giving giving each other googley eyes, or licking your lips at the sight of the other one; or bicker at something or the other like an old married couple. The Avengers were all used to your sassy comments now, and more so, Steve Rogers. It was funny how he had stopped chastising the two of you when you started using a derogatory language with each other.

"Who the hell keeps their stinky socks in their shoes and does not wash them for over a week?" You threw a glare towards your boyfriend, who was engaged in a hand to hand combat with Steve.

This was a casual scene for the Avengers now; listening to the two of you.

Bucky grunted, muttering something under his breath as he dodged a blow from the Captain and fell to his knees, rolling over his back, trying to avoid Steve's blow.

"Ask her, she doesn't even have that many hair on top of her head, and yet the fucking drain in my bathroom's blocked," he spat, pushing himself up on his feet as he flexed his arms and ducked, grabbing Steve by his waist and slamming him against the ground, making it look as effortless as possible.

You groaned in annoyance, filling up your palm into Sam's bowl of caramel popcorns, ignoring the way he just gave you a look of pure betrayal.

"Hey! That was my popcorns, did you guys see that? This woman just stole my popcorns?"

"Sam–" you turned towards him, your eyes narrowed, as you hissed, "Caramel popcorns aren't good anyway, I'm only doing you a favour by sharing these with you."

"Sam–" Bucky interjected, "this woman has a thing for taking over the things you love the most. She's taken over my wardrobe, and now my bed, last night, she kicked me off the fucking bed," he grunted, his arms held in front of his face as he blocked a punch from Steve.

A series of spins, kicks, blocks and counters followed, and by the next five minutes, the two super soldiers were smirking at each other, drinking water from their chilled water bottles as the two walked up to where you were sprawled on the couch, tossing popcorns carelessly into your mouth.

"Sam, tell your friend, he doesn't have the right to complain, I would be able to fit into my own damn clothes, if he hadn't stuck his dick in me."

"Whoa, hey! You two, knock it off. Listening to the two of you is like taking out dirty laundry, it just keeps getting dirtier," Sam commented, grabbing his bowl of popcorn, when you weren't looking and placing it on the coffee table next to him so you couldn't reach it.

To add a cherry on top of it, little Buchanan Barnes always chose to kick you hard against your ribs at just the weirdest of times.

"Well fuck," you cursed, your face contorting as a scorching, burning pain, something that reminded you of acidity, sizzled from inside of you, and your palm instantly flew to your bump, your body almost doubling over, as the team started to crowd over you, including your boyfriend.

"Well Barnes, I swear to God, if your spawn kicks me one more time .. Oof–" you groaned again, when the rebellious little punk kicked you once again, your palm now kneading over the fabric of your.. Bucky's sports fit t-shirt that you had taken over.

Wanda giggled in glee, leaning over you so she could feel the kicks too, and so did Sam.

Bucky just smirked, his arms crossed over his chest, as he towered over you with a look of triumph washed over his face that you managed to catch, "what you smirking at, Mister?"

"Nothing, atleast my kid knows how to shut you up." He lowered himself next to you, his arm coming to rest around your shoulder as a peace offering and you sighed, leaning into him, letting the rest of the Avengers gush over the kicks while you just took a deep breath and groaned every time the kick became brutal and you felt an urge to slap Bucky for injecting you with his super serum swimmer.

"Pesky bugger," you muttered under your breath, watching your boyfriend grin next to you and run his flesh hand over your stomach, before quickly kissing the back of your head.

"Well, what was that for? I thought I clogged your drain." You grumbled.

"Yeah, you do. But that doesn't mean I don't love you two." He leaned in to quickly peck on your lips before he stood up and threw out his palm towards you and you took it, stepping up to your feet.

"Yeah I feel like a fucking whale," you grumbled as the two of you walked out of the recreation room, towards your apartment.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You pulled the blanket closer over your body, letting out a soft gush of air as you rolled over on your back. Your ears perked up when you felt slight movements next to you, and your eyes fluttered open.

"Нет, пожалуйста, не делай этого."

You pushed yourself up on your elbows and swiped your palm over your sleepy eyes, trying to listen to the words shooting from your left but you couldn't understand them.

Bucky was most likely having a nightmare.

You leant over him, gently placing your palm over his chest, and your other hand stroking over his sweaty forehead, as you tried reaching him out, "It's alright, Bucky. It's okay, my love. They can't come in here. Wake up."He stirred in his sleep, but your words seemed to be working on him; he visibly relaxed, and his breathing steadied.

You sat hunched over him for a few more minutes, just stroking over his warm head with your fingers, but soon, your back had started hurting, and you felt the sudden urge to pee. Discreetly, you pulled back your hand, pulling the blankets over Bucky's bare chest, as you started sliding out of bed when suddenly, his metal arm found your wrist and he pulled you back, and you tried to pull your hand away, whispering to him, "Bucky, babe.. wake up please. You have to let go of me."

You struggled to pull your wrist away but he just gripped onto it harder, and started mumbling some barely incoherent words , in Russian, "оставляй меня, Natalia." Although you couldn't figure out anything that he had whispered, you had heard just the word you never wanted to hear from Bucky's lips, Natalia. Roughly, you pulled your wrist away from his grip, and slid out of bed, tiptoeing into the bathroom and bolting the door from the inside.

Pulling your underwear down, you lowered yourself onto the WC, and your hands flew to your head, your eyes clenched shut. Your heart was drumming inside your chest, and you were suddenly feeling not so good.

Natalia.

You had a glimpse that James Buchanan Barnes knew Natasha Romanoff from his days at the Red Room, but that's all you knew. There were no details, and never did you feel the need to ask. But you couldn't help it now, it kept stinging at the back of your head, again and again, and you felt you had to know.

"Natasha?" You knocked on her apartment door and stepped back, when you heard a groan from the inside and the shuffling of sheets, before soft footsteps reached your ears and Natasha unlocked the door, rubbing her eyes as she glanced at you, top to bottom.

"Can we talk?"

"Can't it wait?" She grumbled, under her breath, but a part of her knew, that this was bound to happen someday, only she hadn't realized it would be so soon. You were bound to ask questions, but neither she, nor Bucky had thought that it would be so soon.

"He called your name in his sleep, Natalia," you bit back on your tongue and looked away from her, not wanting to break down in front of her but you could see that she was looking at you with concerned, soft eyes and she had moved out of the way, so you could step into the room.You stepped into the dimly lit room, ignoring how Natasha had taken your arm and was now dragging you to her bed.

"I knew this would happen, eventually. I didn't think it would be this soon."

"What are the two of you hiding ? What happened at the Red Room?" Your voice came out broken, and cracked.

"Listen Y/N," Natasha's voice was soft, as she sat down next to you, and reached for your hand, causing you to stiffen in response, but you didn't draw your hand back, you waited for her to tell you, what you didn't know yet.

"You do know that I and Bucky were a part of the Russian Organization."

You stared into the darkness in her room, and hummed in response.

"Well, Barnes was one of my trainers, who trained me to become who I am today," she continued.

You blinked, feeling your eyes start getting glossy, and you forced a laugh.

"This is the non scandalous part of it all, isn't it?"

"There are some things love, there is no point trying to mull over them. Whatever I had with Bucky, it's not there anymore."

"So you had something with him." You pointed out, your lower lip trembling.

"I know ..how he thinks. We were both weapons once.. to be used."

A sudden silence took over the two of you as you two sat there, contemplating when she slowly turned towards you.

"You don't have anything to be worried about. James Buchanan Barnes and Natalia was a one time thing, we couldn't work out, and we realized that we worked together better as friends, and nothing more."

You stood up, straightening Bucky's tshirt, pulling it over your thighs and Natasha followed suite, the two of you making your way towards the door.

"Besides, it's not my place to tell Y/N, this should all come from his mouth, I hope we're good?"

You nodded, looking at her, "yeah." You mumbled in a low voice as you stepped out of her apartment and disappeared out of her sight.

You took a little detour, up on the roof and reached Bucky's apartment almost an hour later. You had expected Bucky to be asleep, but when you stepped in, he was already getting dressed in his jacket by the mirror, and he turned, giving you a look of perplexity.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"You could've woken me up."

"I tried to, but you were having a nightmare and you were calling out Natalia's name."

The way he looked at you, it looked like the words had left him. He stared into your eyes, searching for how you were feeling, but all he could see was a hollowness inside of you.

"Listen, I.." he began, but shut his mouth, when you looked away and slowly went to sit by the edge of the bed, withdrawing your gaze from him. It was as if you were stuck underwater, everything was slow to understand as he ran his hands through hair in exasperation.

"There's nothing between the two of us, you know it. You know that I am in love with you."

Although you could sense the sincerity in his words, yet , something at the back of your mind kept nagging at you.

"Then why did you not tell me about your relationship with the Black Widow? Why did you hide it from me?"

He was contemplating whether to walk up to you in the back of his mind. Finally, he took a step closer, and another one until he was walking up to your side of the bed and lowering himself next to you, so the both of you sat side by side, "I just didn't tell ya, because there was nothing to tell. I loved her once, but it was long time ago."

You stood up, as fast as you could with your baby bump, your hands on your back as you glared at him, "how is it so easy for you to say you loved her? Loved? And now you live under the same roof with the woman you used to love."

"With the woman I currently love!"

That came out wrong, Bucky knew that you would interpret his words in the wrong way as you pressed your palm to your lips, trying to suppress the whimper that you wanted to let out.

"Currently? Until another one comes along? And you toss me away?"

"Jesus, you're the first woman I ever fell in love with, ever since things between me and Natalia ended," he tried to explain, trying to reach out so he could take your hand, but you crossed your arms over your chest.

"That's supposed to make me feel better yeah?"

Bucky took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a brief second and looked up at you again, his eyes expressing a foreign emotion that you had never experienced before. Was it regret? Or was it the same thing that he had with Natasha and did not have with you?

"A long time ago, Natalia Romanova made me remember what it was like to feel human. And they punished us both for that, in different ways," he blinked, his eyes suddenly cold, as though he was lost in a distant memory. "This is why I didn't tell you, because I didnt want you to react this way. We've all had pasts, doll."

"Your past is sleeping on a floor below me right now, while mine is cold in his fucking grave."

You huffed, sniffling slightly, as you grabbed your pillow, and started making your way out, when Bucky stood up, and dashed after you, slamming the door shut so you couldn't leave, "You're overreacting."

"Bucky, I am not in the mood, not right now. We're gonna talk when I've cleared my head, I'm gonna go up to the roof and just clear my head. Please don't follow me."

He nodded, as he didn't want to make this any worse for you. He moved out of your way, and you passed through, dumping your pillow in your own apartment on your way back as you made your way up to the roof. Stars were scattered all over the sky like little snow-flakes in the night. You couldn't help but smile, feeling the wind blow your hair into a tousled mane as you pulled out your phone, and dialled Fury's number.

"Y/N? Is everything alright?"

You didn't know if everything was alright; all you knew was you needed to let this all out, as it was killing you from the inside.

"Fury? Guess what, almost no one gets out of love alive."

"Y/N, what the hell are you talking about? Where's Barnes? What did he– "

"I'm gonna go now. I just need to clear my head. Take care, Fury."

"Y/N–"

You disconnected the call and slid your phone into your pockets. Fury, once your call was abruptly disconnected, called up Bucky, telling him everything that you had just told him. "I'm going to make your life hell Barnes, I don't know what you've done, but I swear, if anything happens to her, and you're the one responsible for it, I will make your life hell."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

"Hey, what's such a cute little pup like you doing out here at the park early in the morning? Don't you have a home kiddo?" A stray little pup had made its way to your bench in the park, and was now laying on its back right where your feet were, and you were tickling its belly with your fingers.

Bucky stood behind a tree, his hood drawn over his face, as he watched you. He was worried beyond anything, he was scared that what you'd told Nick Fury was something really suicidal, but here you were sitting in a park, talking to a pup. His heart broke for you, for he could see that this was affecting you badly and he should have told you all this before. But with everything that had happened so far, he could not. And now, you had found out.

You sat back up, when you heard the sound of leaves being crushed underneath someone's boots, and Bucky stiffened, his hand flying to his gun as a reflex when he heard it too.

Your alert eyes glared at the sudden intruders in your private space, and you stood up, your eyes narrowed towards the intruders with a look of hate in your eyes.

"We thought it would be difficult to reach you, but you chose to walk yourself to us, what a nice surprise," the man with the Russian accent called out.

"Dream on, I would never make it this easy for you."

You neither had a gun, nor were you agile and flexible enough to fight them alone in a hand to hand combat. You knew you were screwed, so you had to use your mind, or maybe just run.

You took a step away, but the man was fast, he lunged at you, trying to catch you, when a gunshot sounded from behind you and the man flew back with the impact of the bullet that pierced right through his chest. You didn't need to look back to know who it was, and a part of you was relieved to see him here. Instinctively, you turned towards him and he tossed you a spare handgun that you caught midair.

Men in HYDRA uniforms kept coming towards the two of you, and Bucky had already pushed you behind him, forming a human shield around you with his body, while you aimed your gun, taking down as many HYDRA soldiers as you could, and he kept trying to deflect the shots that were fired towards the two of you mostly him, using his metal arm.

"No matter what happens, you don't step into their view, stay behind me, yeah?" he shouted at you just as you squeezed the trigger, and the bullet from your weapon hit a man's forehead, before he could shoot Bucky in his chest.

"They're too many."

"Nothing I can't handle," his words were dark, and coated in venom and for once you didn't know who it was that you were speaking with, was it Bucky, or was it the Winter Soldier. 

At first, Bucky snapped their necks with ease. Bullets rained down on him, but he deflected them with ease, and one by one, bodies were scattered all around you. It was like he was on fire; he was growling, screaming and grunting in the most animalistic way, while you kept yourself behind him at all times, but shot anyone that you could within your range.

However, somehow, neither Bucky, nor you noticed, that two of them had managed to creep behind your back, hidden underneath the shadow of the trees, and were now directly behind you.

"Bucky!" You screamed, when a sudden prick in your neck caused a surge of electricity to fly through your body, and a foreign pain filled you up. You had been tasered, and Bucky was in a pool of men, trying to fight them off while you were being dragged away, your mind barely conscious as pain rang through all your body.

The pain, however, was not from being tasered; but rather, it felt like your stomach was being stabbed brutally, and you couldn't help but cry out in anguish, kneading your fingers against the fabric that clung to your bump. The pain was so bad, you couldn't even bother rolling yourself away as the two corpses landed next to you, the minute Bucky shot them and they collapsed on either of your sides.

You didn't know what was wrong, but something wasn't right.

Bucky knelt in front of you now, trying to feel your body for any injuries, when you cried out loud, almost digging your nails into the flesh on his arms, "Buck, something is wrong with our baby."

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