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sepdet · 10 months

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Have you SEEN the original moon landing feed, especially the scary bit near the end?

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Now stay with me. I grew up hearing about these few minutes from my parents (in fact I took the TV they watched it on to grad school; DS9 and Babylon5 worked well in b&w).

This is even crazier than it looks like.

My parents were both scientists, my grandmother a planetarium director, and my dad was just about to land his job at a rocket company that built 95 small rockets that were part of the UpGoer Saturn V. (Yeah. Just the small ones. Saturn V was a BEAST.)

So my parents had a fair idea how dangerous this was, how Neil going manual was a bad sign, and just how close he was to running empty and crashing. They knew the problem that every ounce of fuel you carry requires even more fuel to lift off, so the Eagle was built light, carrying no excess weight even in fuel (it had to lift off the Moon with no rocket, after all).

But they didn't learn until years later just how jury-rigged and bespoke Apollo technology was. Every vehicle and part was designed like a Mythbusters build: extremely customized for the procedures it had to accomplish, using parts and even technology invented for specific mission tasks.

rope memory, predecessor to modern silicon chips: 1s and 0s woven by women (of course) at a Massachusetts textile plant

At the time, computers were the size of rooms and very touchy. Apollo's computer memory was core rope memory, never used before or since, to save space. The read/write guidance computer, too, was woven: physical media could better survive the rigors of space travel. (I suspect even my parents don't know it also used some of the very first integrated circuits, soldered by hand under a microscope by Navajo women).

Spacesuits were (and still are) designed and hand-stitched by Playtex bramakers. The lunar rovers' wheels were titanium meshes woven with piano wire to let dust through, and even had a clever navigation system despite no GPS or magnetic north.

They couldn't test these rigs with computer modeling. They didn't know for sure what the moon's surface would be like, apart from basic parameters like low gravity and near vacuum and a temperature ranging from 250°F in the sun to -250° in the shade. And it was nearly impossible to test for or practice in those conditions on Earth.

And then there were the unknowns. A massive solar flare between Apollo 16 and 17 might have killed or sickened them too much to operate their ship.

While the spacesuit and to some extent the rover design carried on, a lot of these hacks were so unusual that they might as well be alien tech. (I'm sorry woven technology fell out of vogue for several decades.) That goes some way towards explaining why humans haven't left Earth orbit since I was two.

The other problem, of course, is expense. Tech for human space exploration requires as much R&D and testing as fighter planes, which have developed through a century of multiple countries' military budgets. Human space programs are lucky to last two presidents; the next president usually doesn't think giving glory to his predecessor is a good use of money.

So for 40 years, NASA has mostly worked with other countries on human spaceflight or built robot explorers that can be launched in 3-4 years before Congress or the president can axe the program. They're less likely to shut down a mission when 99.99% of the money's been spent, and all that's left to do is download data and uplink occasional instructions.

TL:DR; Congress and the White House keep flashing the equivalent of that computer error message, every time NASA gets ready to send humans into space again. Overload. Abort mission.

Unless, you know, American citizens start saying Go. Go. Go. Go. We have some pretty important priorities down here on Earth (which Amazon and Disney and oil companies should be footing the bill for, though they try not to), but I bet the military can cough up the cost of a few fighter jets.

#happy moon landing day #apollo 11 #space #Long post is long #I hope this is a good read despite fibromyalgia making my brain turn to fuzz #but this is so much cool stuff

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anitacoknow · 3 years

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I'm feeling my emotions pretty hard today (June 14th, 2021), so it might be a good idea to start writing.

Trigger Warning:

This text post mentions suicide, death, abortion, and could be an uneasy read.

About two months ago, I almost died during a routine abortion. The way that sounds, my stomach turns and it makes the tears fall like a monsoon. Nothing about getting an abortion is easy, it is humiliating and it's a huge personal hurdle to deal with - my heart goes out to any woman who has been in that tough position. That being said, I'm not writing this for sympathy nor am I looking for negative comments or death threats, I put myself through that enough already with my own mental.

Starting this attempt to release my emotions is difficult because I'm not even sure what to say to myself. I guess I am also hopeful someone will have the right words through experience or just in general because I'm struggling to find the words within myself.

To begin, I can't have children anymore and that is the worst part; I made a decision that took future decisions, future generations, future plans away from me. So, to anyone who wanted to go in on me at the sight of the word abortion: fate ironically beat you to the punch.

I made a decision that my heart wasn't wholly in and it almost cost me my life and it cost my daughter's life (I don't need scientific fact proving she was just a clump of cells and hadn't begun processing pain or emotion or whatever, doesn't change shit as far as empathy goes, so please shove it).

Her birth name was to be Juniper.

To give some insight, Washington State allows abortions up to 28 weeks. For those who aren't aware of pregnancy cycles/trimesters, 28 weeks is still half way through the pregnancy and the beginning of the second trimester. The fetus during this stage has become more human like and all that science stuff. I had my abortion at 21 weeks, in a clinic and the process shouldn't have gone the way it did.

On the second day of my procedure, I was put under anesthesia and when I woke up I wasn't all there. Before this, I had never experienced being put under anesthesia to my recollection, so what I thought I was feeling was normal. It wasn't until I realized I had been losing conciousness that things started to feel unnatural. I was laid on the floor of the "recovery room" and I started to regain conciousness fast. There was a lot of blood between my legs and mentioning it to them seemed to make the blood pool more. It wasn't long after that the doctor that performed the procedure squated next to me to tell me she needed to put me back under.

For the next bit, I apologize to the squeamish.

There was another woman in the room with me who had just come out of her own anesthesia, she was ironically a CNA, who started to show signs of worry when I wasn't making the anticipated recovery. The doctor had her removed from the room and leaned back in to tell me that they couldn't locate the fetal head and a few limbs. When they attempted to have me walk back to the room, I fainted and was placed back on the floor. The nurses wheeled me into the surgical room and helped me back on to the table, to which I protested them allowing me to see my ride. I'm hesitant to mention the father in this because it is sensitive, so I apologize for how he is mentioned in further comments. It wasn't until I saw him that things started to blur and I started losing conciousness again.

I feel it is also important to explain what I felt, which was extremely cold. My nipples were harder than they had ever been and despite the numerous blankets, warmed and otherwise, that were placed on me, my body didn't feel warmth until the EMTs carted me to the ambulance and the sun touched me; and again when I was placed on the surgical table at the hospital. Mentally, I don't think I was aware of anything bad happening to my body. Even after hearing they lost the fetal head, I don't think I ever reacted. If I had to say, I was mentally blissful - which isn't something I have ever experienced. I literally couldn't care less, everything was a joke (which is also part of my personality when dealing with assumed stressful situations) to me up until I arrived at the ER and they put me under before telling me that they might have to remove my whole uterus. My last words would have been: "oh, this table is so warm!" to the doctor who saved my life. When I woke up 24 hours later, there was a tube in my throat and I was tied to the bed (which Hollywood doesn't show in movies or T.V. so when you are experiencing it, it is really scary and it fucking hurts.) in ICU.

So, what the fuck happened?

Well, my uterus at the time of the abortion was about 2 pounds heavy and 2 feet long; Juniper was about the size of a sweet potato to give you an image. During the abortion, the doctor perforated my uterus, the length of the tear was about a foot long according to my surgeon/aftercare doctor. The abortion itself was supposedly no more than 10 minutes, but I was apparently under for roughly an hour. My ride expected me out in two hours, but after speaking to him, started to worry when I hadn't responded to texts and the elapsed time came to four hours. During the removal of the fetus, after perforation had occurred, I laid there internally bleeding for several hours. The human body can hold minimum 5 litres of blood (or to give you an physical idea, a gallon [US] of milk about) depending on the size of the body and health. A human can die from losing 2 litres of blood, but I survived after losing 4 litres internally, which is probably what saved my life. I vaguely remember being lifted on to the gurney and I vaguely remember the ride to the ER. I was given 7 units of blood, my uterus was stitched in 8 layers and the fetal head had nestled itself behind my kidney, so I had an emergency cesarean, plus a JP drain placed to remove all the blood that pooled in my abdomen.

The hospital experience itself is a different story and makes the whole ordeal just as sad. The only solace I had were two nurses that really didn't judge me, outside of that, everyone there had an opinion and wore it on their face and in their treatment. My last interaction with one of the doctors who helped performed my "miraculous" surgery and was probably the most surprising bit because it included a little racism. My partner is white and he is cisgender. Before his appearance, said doctor largely made fun of my pain tolerance when removing surgical tape from my incision area and inner thighs. If you haven't had a cesarean or don't know exactly what it is, after making the initial incision, the doctors have to literally tear the muscles apart to get to your uterus. In my case, I also had to have my intestines removed to get to my kidneys. Needless to say, my midsection was very sensitive outside of my low pain threshold. During the stint, he very angrily asked me if I wanted to remove the bandage myself while showing his frustration in his whole body and face. At that point, I just said fuck it and let him tear the bandage from my body with a little skin along with it. After a quick look, he stood up and asked if I cared if he left to deliver a baby and he didn't wait for a response, I assume because my face probably said exactly what he wanted. I sat there and cried until my partner got there and when he showed face again, his bedside manner gave me whiplash. He released us after I made a large fuss about my care and I left holding back tears until we were out of sight of the hospital.

The day before I almost died, I sat with the owner of the clinic who also doubles as a nurse there, and cried to her about my fear and the little consolation I had because she was kind. I have had two previous abortions during a previous marriage that I also didn't want to have, but being in an abusive relationship, you give and take a lot, that included. I confided in her that those two experiences, both at Planned Parenthood, were riddled in racist bedside manner and left me uneasy about abortions and clinics in general. Being a woman of color herself, she cried with me and assured me that things would be fine, in fact the woman doing my abortion would also be a woman of color. She called me two days later, I could hear her sadness, but it also left me in such a state of panic that I ended the conversation without saying much.

Women of color do not have great mortality rates when it comes to medical intervention, especially during pregnancies/child birth. However, uterus perforation during an abortion only occurs at a rate of .3%, so I'm part of a medical anomaly (it isn't an anomaly at all, she just fucked up). Beyond that, women of color, specifically black women are more likely to suffer from medical racism during aftercare. One of the biggest glaring problems being that black women are percieved to have a high pain threshold, something a lot of people lack.

Since this experience, which is missing a lot of detail, I've gone in an out of depressive mania. Which, to say the least, I can handle because I've dealt with it for years. What I can't handle are commercials, or even cherub faces in person, or the fact that my step-sister announced her pregnancy to our parents on mother's day. I can't handle the notifications of memories from my pictures that spotlight some of the photos I took during my pregnancy. I can't handle that my neighbors had just moved in and had just given birth right before being released from the hospital. Movie montages about children growing up making lumps swell in my throat. For the first few weeks I would wake up screaming, or crying, or begging whoever not to take my baby from me. I tried to cope with sex that I couldn't realistically have because I was healing. I took up smoking cigarettes again because it is the only thing I could physically feel relax my incision area. My daughter, who is 9 years old, asks me how I'm doing when I don't realize I'm zoned out and crying.

Overall, I wish they would have let me die. It isn't like I haven't tried to kill myself before and I always secretly hoped I'd find a way to just go peacefully. Of all my attempts at suicide, the most serious was drinking bleach and all I got from that was minor chemical burn in my esophagus.

Sitting there during my last follow up, knowing damn well I wasn't going to get good news, I asked the doctor who saved my uterus and life if I could safely get pregnant. I was told by another I could have a child, but it would most likely be harrowing because my uterus wouldn't be able to house a full term fetus and they would most like be born premature. There was also another possibility she kept from me, which my doctor with a penchant for being very frank said: "would end up taking my uterus or almost killing me."

Word for word: if I get pregnant, my uterus would rupture at the healed incision.

And what, what am I supposed to think or feel now that my worst fear finally materialized? I'm realistically mad at myself for materializing my greatest fear. I also hate myself for being so upset at something I caused because I know others are in my situation for reasons beyond their control.

I thought writing this would make me feel better, would make it so I wouldn't have to mentally relive it, but I just feel worse. My partner lost his job because he took a leave of absence to take care of me and that's to say nothing of him taking time off at the beginning of the year because he needed brain surgery. The job I had interviewed for earlier in the week kept my position open, but on returning to work found I couldn't keep my anxiety to a minimum and eventually asked for leave of absence. So now, we are struggling financially and I blame myself for that too, which I know I shouldn't.

I can't begin to explain how unsure and confused I feel every day. Some times I find myself pacing or walking around and I don't even know what I'm doing. Hearing or seeing emergency vehicles makes me panic. I've had to force myself to look down during driving because I'm so fucking scared.

Idk, I'm sorry to whoever is reading this. I just needed to vent.

#mentally drained #near death experience #abortion #black lives matter #selflove #mental dump #creative release #writing therapy #mental heath support #mental wellbeing #talking to myself #talking it out

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digitalmarketing173 · 3 years

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Things about Seo

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After putting an advertisement, you can track every view, like, comment, click, and conversion it receives. To find out more, take a look at, Recap Increasingly more individuals are spending bigger portions of their day online, and all you need to reach them is a net connection and a smart device or laptop computer.

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And, if you can't find a means to stand apart, you'll mix into the crowds of other brand names competing for interest in your market. Once you know the why as well as the that, you need to deal with the how. Just how will you reach your target market? What do they intend to discover, what troubles do they need to resolve? Study search phrases to target to obtain found in online search engine results, and find topics that have an intrinsic rate of interest for your target market before you create any type of web content.

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As soon as you have topics, keywords, a distinctive voice, and a target market, you can produce web content. Nonetheless, if your material isn't truly great, you're wasting your time. Get help if you need it, invest the moment to fine-tune as well as best your output, as well as constantly produced the most effective web content you can.

#Internet Marketing #SEO #Digital Marketing

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kyndaris · 3 years

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Little Miss Know-It-All

It’s only been a month into 2021 and yet nothing feels that much different to the end of 2020. I know that many wrote 2020 off and looked ahead to the new year for a fresh start. COVID-19, however, has not made that as readily possible as one would hope. In fact, the United Kingdom (as of time of writing) is on the verge of collapse. Back in the Southern Hemisphere, Queensland, Australia’s sunshine state, has put the major city of Brisbane into a three-day lockdown due to a quarantine worker testing positive with a more infectious strain of the virus.

Unfortunately, unlike video games, the world doesn’t reset after each new instalment. The actions of the human population have consequences.

As for the United States of America, well...let’s not go anywhere near what happened at the US Capitol in Washington D.C. Or mention the blatantly seditious act of far-right activists hoping to put a stop to democracy - and that it was incited and, mostly condoned, by an incompetent failure of a man and world leader.

Instead, let’s turn this post towards my personal exploits and frustrations. Like work. That’s mostly innocuous, right?

Now, my job isn’t anything fancy. It pays the bills and helps fund my dreams for the future, despite how unrealistic they may be. Of course, perhaps if I can find the courage to just nudge myself into sending my stories to publishers, I might happen upon someone that will be willing to give me a chance. Alas, my own worst critic is a foe that I’ve not yet been able to defeat and I’m reluctant to put myself out there. Rather, I’ll post my work on the internet and not get paid a penny for the different worlds in my head.

(In all honesty, though, I write the stories that I kind of want to see but don’t often get to see published. Then again, there are so many fantasy novels out there, my ideas might have already been published and I simply haven’t stumbled upon them. And in many ways, it’s fun to have a story writing hobby. There’s no pressure except the ones I PUT ON MYSELF.)

Back to work.

Some might say that my job is of great assistance to a lot of people. Yet, as the months went by during 2020, I couldn’t help but feel like what I did was repetitive and a little dull. There was nothing about what I did that sparked in me, a honest to goodness millennial, a sense of fulfilment. I go to work, do what I’m paid for and come back home.

To be perfectly frank, I’d rather get paid to pursue my actual interests. Like video games or writing. As with everything in life, however, you don’t always get what you want.

None of this is helped, of course, by the fact that people seem to gravitate towards me with a handful of questions. At my workplace, I’m a fount of knowledge that is tapped from old veterans to recent hires. I’m not entirely sure how I managed that, considering that I’m no enthusiastic hand-waver like a certain Hermione Granger. But, I suppose that going to a selective high-school prepares me to absorb information and regurgitate it to anyone within close proximity.

And while it’s not always a bad thing, I oft feel like I’m a mini-manager without any of the perks. People from far and wide come to me for my expertise - whether I actually know something or not. Kyndaris, you’re young, you must know technology. Or, Kyndaris, could you explain the step-by-step procedure for this very simple task? When have I ever expressed a sense of self-confidence that you would look to me? I AM A LOW SELF-ESTEEM PUDDLE OF A PERSON! STOP COMING TO ME WITH YOUR ENQUIRIES! But yes, Google tells me that if you restart your computer, it should work. Also, you need to do A, B and C before you can arrive to D. Here, let me go through it with you so you might finally be able to remember. Did you hear that? You did? Great. That was my passive-aggressiveness reaching another level. It’s now over 9000.

This is not helped by the fact that I’ve been designated a subject matter expert on something that EVERYONE should be trained on. How else are they expected to do their jobs when those specific factors come into play? What’s worse is that even my team leaders tend to tell everyone and their mother’s, ‘Oh, just leave it to Kyndaris. They know what to do, so we won’t bother to train you.’

It’s been a very frustrating experience. And one that is likely to carry on during 2021 as I prove to be reliable and flexible in the workplace. THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON, OTHER PLACES THAT DIDN’T HIRE ME!

So, here’s my cry for help:

STOP RELYING ON ME! IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE! ONE OF THESE DAYS, I’LL FAIL TO LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND CRUMBLE INTO A HEAVING PILE OF TEARS! I AM THE IMPOSTOR! IF GOOGLE DIDN’T EXIST, I WOULD BE NOTHING!

But, if you really must know pi to two decimal places, it’s 3.141592...

Darn. I did it again, didn’t I?

#personal blog

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roofcell83 · 3 years

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mari-beau · 3 years

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PSA: IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID & SEEK MEDICAL FOLLOW-UP, KNOW YOUR PATIENT RIGHTS TO REFUSE UNNECESSARY TESTS

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SUBJUGATED TO THE AMERICAN HEALTH SYSTEM

IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR COVID RECOVERY, DO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION!! IT IS IMPORTANT. YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS.

BUT DESPITE ALL THE MOCKERY AND DERISION FROM THE MEDICAL FIELD, DO SOME RESEARCH YOURSELF (FROM LEGIT MEDICAL AND SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTION’S WEBSITES/SOURCES)

DOCTORS ARE JUST PEOPLE. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT SMART. (AND YOUR DOCTOR IS NOT NECESSARILY SMARTER OR MORE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING THE VIROLOGY AND BIOLOGY OF YOUR SITUATION THAN YOU ARE). QUESTION THINGS. MAKE THEM EXPLAIN AND JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS.

MAKE THEM LISTEN TO YOU!

MY STORY HAS BEEN PLACED BELOW A BREAK

Because TRIGGER WARNING for people with Hospital/Medical PTSD

I tested positive for COVID-19 well over a month ago. I got moderately sick. I did not need to be hospitalized (thankfully). And was able to manage it with cold medicine. It was in my lungs. I had a high fever that cycled on and off for days, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue. By day 11, I was recovered enough and deemed no longer infectious by Public Health’s certified nurses (who know and understand COVID guidance/pathology).

It still took me awhile to completely bounce back. And surprise-surprise, my work is extremely stressful (I work for a local Public Health Department, the ones tasked with doing all of the non-direct patient care pandemic work, such as case investigations, quarantining, helping the public, inspections, answering every single question of every single member of the public). So it was taking me longer to be at normal levels of health. And I was noticing I’d be fine for days, but when I started to get a little worn down from work, I’d start coughing again.

My coworkers were concerned and had one of our nurses encourage me to seek follow-up in case I had a secondary infection as a result of my COVID infection, such as bronchitis or pneumonia. I tried calling the practice where my doctor used to be (living in rural area, the doctors maybe last a year before leaving), but the receptionist said they had no providers until following Monday (I was calling on a Wednesday). She was also baffled by my spiel:

“I tested positive for COVID-19 on November 24. I was cleared by Public Health on Dec. 4. I feel fine most of the time, but when I get tired, I start coughing again. I would like to be checked out to make sure I don’t have bronchitis or pneumonia or lung damage.”

I’m not so sure what’s so difficult about that. I had to prompt her... Should I call back on Monday then to see if I can get checked out?

My coworker used to be practice manager for that group of practices. And she was like WTF? and called over to confirm that they had no provider covering the practice through the New Year’s weekend.

But to be honest, it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d gotten through to them, because come to find out, the whole “Health Systems” conglomerate in our region funnels anyone who has had COVID to the Main Hospital ER. My mother’s doctor, who she asked to follow up because she is older and had concerns about complications, was likewise sent to the “COVID unit” in the hospital, despite the fact that she was no longer infectious and in recovery.

Anyway, the nurse at work encouraged me to get checked out that day. So I called the Urgent Care. Again, the receptionist was baffled by my spiel. As was the nurse she had speak to me. The nurse informed me I had to go to the main hospital.

Fine. I thought. I’d just get my lungs checked out and get it over with. If I had a secondary infection, they could give me a steroid inhaler or stronger cough medicine or something.

WRONG!

I show up to the Hospital, they funnel you through precautions (which is great). I give my spiel to the receptionist, adding on how I tried my primary care and urgent care, and they told me I had to come here. They give me to intake person, who asks me the standard questions and checks my vitals.

My heartrate is high.

I have panic attacks in hospitals. I can’t even visit people in the hospital. It’s not a conscious issue. And it’s completely outside of my control. I can attempt to manage with anxiety coping mechanisms, but to be honest it doesn’t work.

I inform the intake nurse/doctor/whoever that my stress levels have been high from work, specifically Monday I was in the call center getting verbally abused by our wonderful community members all day long. And that I have panic attacks in hospitals. And was likely in early stages of panic attack. He replied to me that was on Monday and it’s Wednesday (someone who had no clue how anxiety works). And I of course sounded perfectly calm then, because part of how I cope is trying to keep my shit together and not freak out.

They admit me for having a high heart rate. (BECUASE DOCTORS DON”T LISTEN, ESPECIALLY TO WOMEN).

SO, SUMMARY SO FAR: I HAVE BEEN ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN I JUST WANTED SOMEONE TO CHECK MY LUNGS.

They stick me in a negative pressure COVID room because I had COVID a month ago (and they don’t seem to understand I am no longer infectious, or how viruses work; yes, some people remain very sick and infectious longer; I meet all the criteria of no longer being infectious).

I have to change into hospital gown, etc. Doctor checks my lungs. Everything sounds fine. My 02 stats are 100%.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED AT THIS POINT. I SHOULD HAVE REFUSED ALL FURTHER PROCEDURES AND TESTS. BUT I HAVE HOSPITAL-INDUCED ANXIETY AND AM IN NO STATE OF MIND TO QUESTION ANYTHING BECAUSE I’M BARELY KEEPING MY SHIT TOGETHER. NO WONDER I’M FUCKING TACHYCARDIC.

Next up is the nurses, come to hook me up to the heart monitor and EKG.

AND DO THE ONE OTHER THING THAT CAN SEND ME INTO A FULL ANXIETY ATTACK.

They ignore me when I tell them they need to use a pediatric needle on my veins. All of my mom’s family has small, hard to find, fragile veins. THEY BLOW OUT TWO OF MY VEINS IN ONE ARM WHILE A LAB PERSON IS TRYING TO DRAW BLOOD OUT OF MY OTHER ARM.

I AM FINE WITH VACCINES/SHOTS. AND IF THEY CAN GET A NEEDLE IN AND DRAW BLOOD QUICK, I CAN KEEP MY SHIT TOGETHER. I HAVE NO CONSCIOUS FEAR OF NEEDLES OR BLOOD. BUT IF THEY MESS AROUND WITH MY ARMS TOO LONG, IT SENDS ME INTO FULL HYPERVENTILATING, CRYING HYSTERICALLY, LEG THRASHING PANIC ATTACK.

ALL THE WHILE, I’M APOLOGIZING TO THEM. AND HATING MYSELF FOR MY REACTION.

The nurse keeps trying to comfort me as she blows out another vein in my arm for an IV I DID NOT NEED. I keep saying “I’m sorry. It’s stupid. It’s so stupid I get like this.” As I’m sobbing and hyperventilating.

The nurse gives up after blowing out several veins in my arm when doing the saline wash. (This does not pardon me, but only buys me a reprieve).

Lab Guy exits with some blood he managed to get out of one of my arms.

I have been repeatedly questioned by doctors and nurses so far about having had another COVID test. I tell them no, since I can test positive for up to 3 months afterwards, it’s quite literally pointless.

THEY GIVE ME ANOTHER COVID TEST.

My first one when I was actually sick, was just mildly uncomfortable. THIS TIME THEY MANAGE TO GIVE A PRETTY SPECTACTULAR BLOODY NOSE. AND PROMPTLY LEAVE THE ROOM AS I CALL ‘MY NOSE IS BLEEDING’ AFTER THEM.

I HAVE TO USE THE MASK I WORE IN TO TRY TO STAUNCH THE NOSEBLEED.

I THINK IT WAS HERE I HAD MY FULL ON PANIC ATTACK. IF YOU HAVE THEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY FULL-ON. I WAS ALONE. (WHICH I PREFER BECAUSE THEY EMBARRASS ME).

A different nurse finally comes back for some other reason (I don’t remember now). I ask her from some tissues. She hands me some paper towels. She leaves. She returns, gives me a washcloth to clean all the blood off my face and neck. Another nurse is with her.

ROUND TWO OF DRAWING BLOOD & IV ATTEMPT

These ones do better. But I am calmer having just had the full-on panic attack. They have to use veins in my biceps to draw the blood. And finally get an IV in. (Mind you, it’s an IV I really didn’t need). They give me a bag of fluids and some anti-anxiety/sedative to try to bring my heart rate down (letting me go home would’ve worked far better).

They’ve already done the EKG. They put me through a CT scan and echocardiogram. And finally a chest x-ray (which would’ve been in the more necessary scope of treatment/evaluation for my complaint/concern about residual lung damage).

There’s a good wait time in between these.

I was already hydrated. I drink a lot of water. And so I had to pee very badly.

Because, guess what the COVID test came back positive and they’ve stuck the official notice on the negative pressure COVID room door, I have to use the little commode chair thing in the room. The nurse puts a little bedpan/measuring catch thingy in it. She takes some of my urine to test (so yet another unnecessary test).

They give me another bag of fluids. Which makes me have to pee very badly again. I try to call a nurse. My bladder’s about explode. But I’m hooked up to machines and not sure if I’m allowed to leave the hospital bed. She glances in at me. Tells me it’s okay to go.

I fill up the little bedpan.

I will have to pee very badly again by the end of this ordeal, and have more than half a mind to go pee/overflow the bedpan into the rest of the ‘commode’.

But finally whatever doctor assigned to me comes back, says everything is fine and I can be released.

Mind you, my heartrate has remained low 100s for hours and hours (a little high for me, but I was in a fucking hospital and having panic attacks and my anxiety was still quite high).

I wait another half an hour for a nurse to come and disconnect me from everything and do a ‘verbal’ discharge.

SO MANY TIMES I HAD WANTED TO YANK EVERYTHING OFF ME AND LEAVE. I NOW WISH I HAD DONE PRECISELY THAT.

My parents showed up and were waiting for me in the parking lot to drive me home and drive my truck home. My mom said it looked like I had been through a war. She’d never seen me look so terrible.

I went into work that morning feeling worn down from work. And I was coughing a little. I came out of the hospital 8 hours later feeling the worst I have in my life. Worse than when I was feverish and struggling to breath from COVID infection.

The public health nurses at my workplace advised me to file a complaint against the hospital. They agreed/informed me that what the hospital did was medically unnecessary.

I HAVE BRUISES ALL UP AND DOWN MY ARMS. I HAVE BURST CAPILLARIES UNDER MY EYES AND ACROSS MY CHEEKS FROM CRYING SO HARD. I HAVE WOKEN UP EVERY MORNING SINCE WITH A TIGHT KNOT OF ANXIETY IN MY CHEST. MY HEART RATE (WHICH I CHECK WITH A PULSE OXIMETER) HAS NOT RETURNED TO ITS NORMAL LOWER LEVELS. IT HAS BEEN FIVE DAYS.

SUMMARY:

I HAD COVID AND RECOVERD. I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT POSSIBLE COMPLICATIONS SUCH AS BRONCHITIS, PNEUMONIA OR LUNG DAMAGE BECAUSE I HAVE A RECCURRING SLIGHT COUGH.

NO HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS UNDER THE CONGLOMERATE THAT IS OUR ONLY CHOICE OF MEDICAL CARE IN OUR REGION WILL SEE ANYONE WHO HAS HAD COVID. THEY SEND THEM ALL DIRECTLY TO THE MAIN HOSPITAL ER COVID UNIT TO DO A SLEW OF UNNECESSARY TESTS AND RACK UP THE HOPISTAL BILL.

I WENT TO GET A SLIGHT COUGH CHECKED OUT. INSTEAD I WAS SUBJECTED TO UNNECESSARY TESTS AND TREATMENT JUST TO BE TOLD I AM IN FACT PERFECTLY FINE. AND NOW I HAVE TEXTBOOK PTSD.

FUCK YOU, AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM.

**EXTRA REMINDER TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AND FOLLOW-UP IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID AND ARE CONCERNED. JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE RIGHTS AND OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM’S MAIN FOCUS IS MAKING MONEY**

#american health care #covid-19 #coronavirus recovery #hospital ptsd #panic attacks #anxiety #tw: anxiety

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aspoonofsugar · 5 years

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What do you feel about Kogami from Psycho Pass?

Hello anon!

Sorry for the late reply, but here I am!

It has been a while since I have watched the series, so keep it in mind when it comes to my answer. I will also link to my Akane meta and my Makishima meta because I have talked a little bit about Kogami in both.

I think that to analyze Kogami’s character one should consider the fact that he has an internal objective:

And an external one:

And that these two objectives do not overlap:

Akane: “He said that he wants to be a detective rather than a hunting dog, but the look in his eyes…was unmistakably…:

In short, what Kogami wants is to go back to be a detective and to stop being a “hunting dog”. As he himself tells Akane, a detective is a person who does not act because of duty, but because of a personal idea of justice.

Kogami is a person who values justice a lot and is ready to take personal responsibility for the choices he makes to reach it:

What is Kogami’s idea of justice?

He wants to protect people and in order to do so he wants to catch criminals.

In short, in his mind protection and killing/catching criminals are two ideas which can not be separated, but this is also why he struggles at maintaining an equilibrium between them.

This is made clear in episode three where his methods are compared to Ginoza’s ones.

Kogami and Ginoza have opposite approaches when it comes to them solving a case. They are both extreme, but in opposite ways.

-Kogami is ready to do everything to catch a criminal to the point that he is self-destructive. At the same time, his behaviour ends up putting his colleagues in danger as well.

-Ginoza follows the procedure no matter what and the story makes clear that he does so because he wants to protect himself. He does not want to become a latent criminal like his father and Kogami and, even if he assumes an antagonistic behaviour towards Akane, it is implied that he does so partially because he is worried for her wellbeing and he is scared she might end up like Kogami.

It is interesting to highlight that Akane ends up finding her own way to be a detective which lies in the middle between Kogami and Ginoza’s ones. On one hand she manages to develop her own idea of justice and to stick to it. On the other hand she manages not to become a latent criminal like Kogami.

The fact that Akane’s psycho-pass does not get darker after going through an experience very similar to the one Kogami has had is a key difference between the two of them.

What is the root of this difference?

After all, both of them happen to lose a friend by the hands of Makishima Shogo, but Kogami ends up becoming a latent criminal, while Akane does not.

To try and find an answer, let’s start by the fact that the two of them have opposite ideas of justice:

Akane thinks that people should protect the law, while Kogami thinks that the law should protect people.

I would like to highlight that their different conclusions must both be considered valid even if one might prefer one over the other:

What is more, we should consider that the two different concepts of law and justice Akane and Kogami reach are coherent with each character’s personality.

-Akane is not a violent person to the point that she prefers not to kill people and I think she avoids doing so throughout the whole season. This is also probably among the reasons why her psycho pass is so clear.

-Kogami has a violent side he has shown multiple times and it is probably because of him being unable to control this side after the death of his partner that he became a latent criminal.

Let’s make clear that I think it is wrong to say that Akane is a better person than Kogami because she is less violent. At the end of the day this is what the series wants to criticize about the Sybil System’s approach:

Latent criminals are people just like everyone else and the Enforcers especially are described in the end not like animals, but like people with different ideals and a different conception of justice from the one commonly accepted by society.

In short, Akane and Kogami both have a personal idea of justice, but the one Kogami has leads him to enter into a conflict with Sybil and society in general, while the one Akane has can coexist with the system, at least for now.

So, every idea of justice is necessarily linked to a person’s personality, at least under certain aspects.

The problem is when these aspects of a person’s character ends up becoming limitating.

For example, if Akane had shot Makishima she would have saved Yuki, but she does not both because by that time she has still to mature and to become completely independent, but also because she has a very low tendency to violence. This is shown once again when she refuses to kill Makishima when she and Kogami catch him on the top of the tower.

In other words, if Akane’s not violent side can lead her to struggle under certain conditons, Kogami being violent makes so that he does under others and this is his major struggle throughout the series.

Let’s once again consider what led Kogami to become a latent criminal. It is not that he used profiling and so started thinking like a criminal and it is not that he became so close to an Enforcer that he was changed by the latter’s personality. In short, it was not because of the things Ginoza keeps advising Akane to pay attention to. It is because Kogami could not overcome the loss of a friend and let himself be consumed by revenge. This is something which could have happened to Kogami even if he were not an investigator. It is simply that deep down he has always had the potential to react in this way to this specific kind of trauma. Feeling rage for the death of a loved one and wanting to punish the one who is responsible for it is not a wrong response. However, it is clear that in Kogami’s case these feelings have taken over him and have consumed him.

In short, it is made clear that by the end of the series Kogami is acting because of a personal need of taking revenge rather than because of a wish for justice. To be more precise, it is possible that these two things (just like the wish to protect and to kill criminals) have ended up becoming one and the same in Kogami’s mind.

Let’s consider this scene:

I think that it perfectly illustrates Kogami’s struggle between him maintaining his own idea of justice and him wanting to kill Makishima himself. Let’s highlight that these two concepts are both present in Kogami until the very end. He wants Makishima to be stopped no matter what, but he also wants to be the one to do so. The result is that he leaves some hints behind, but he does so in a way that it might be difficult for his ex-colleagues to find them. All in all, it is a compromise he comes up with to balance out his two different desires.

At the same time, the story shows that Kogami ends up doing selfish things in his pursuit of Makishima.

For example, he tells Akane to kill Makishima on the top of the tower despite knowing perfectly that if she did she would have probably become a latent criminal. Similarly, he involves his ex-teacher whose crime coefficient rises up after Kogami’s visit and ends up being arrested as a result.

There is also the fact that, despite perfectly knowing Sybil is an ambiguous system, Kogami never tries to unveil the truth behind it:

Rather than fighting the system he focuses his attention on Makishima because it is with him that he has a personal grudge. Despite Makishima writing him that he has figured out the truth behind the Sybil System, Kogami never tries to ask him what is it that Makishima has discovered. He does not do so even when he is about to kill Makishima and it is already clear Makishima has no way out. All in all, Kogami never shows any interest in it.

All of this is meant to highlight that, despite Kogami saying that he is acting out of a desire for justice and despite the fact his actions superficially end up being coherent with his own ideals, he is really acting out of personal feelings:

Kogami himself knows deep down that killing criminals is not the same as protecting people, but in the end he is not able of letting go of his desire for revenge.

This is interesting also when one considers his foiling with Akane during the last couple of episodes. At the end of the series both Kogami and Akane are running after a fugitive criminal and they are both shown to be able to perfectly read their target’s way of thinking. Kogami’s target is Makishima, while Akane’s target is Kogami himself. Kogami wants to kill Makishima, while Akane wants to save Kogami. In short, Akane is the one who is acting to protect someone, while Kogami is acting to bring someone down.

Finally, let’s highlight why Kogami is similar to Makishima.They are the same not because of their intelligence or their philosophy, but for their most human qualities. Both characters are intelligent, have a sophisticated vision of people and of the world and claim that they are acting because of it, but in the end they are motivated by far shallower and more intimate reasons.

They even end up telling each other what these reasons are:

On one hand Kogami tells Makishima that he is acting the way he is for no other reason than his willingness to be accepted by society and by others. Makishima feels lonely and he is throwing a tantrum because of it.

On the other hand Makishima tells Kogami he is lonely as well since he decided to cut the relationships he had to run after Makishima.

In short, Makishima is unable to create positive relationships even if he desires them deep down, while Kogami despite having many important people in his life leaves them behind in order to run after Makishima. In a sense, he chooses the relationship of hunter and prey he has with Makishima over the ones of friendship and comraderie he has in society. This is because deep down Kogami wants an enemy rather than a friend:

He needs to keep fighting to keep himself together.

In short, Makishima is so twisted that the most genuine relationship he can build is the one with a person who wants to kill him, while Kogami is able to have healthier relationships, but still chooses the most unhealthy one over the others.

This is why Kogami ends season one not as a detective, but as a hunting dog:

He succeeds in his external objective of killing Makishima, but fails his personal one of going back to be a detective.

Thank you for the ask!

#psycho pass #psycho pass meta #kogami shinya #akane tsunemori #shogo makishima #asksfullofsugar #anonymous #my meta

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neurodiversenerd · 5 years

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How to Include Autistic Women in Your Feminism

Hey, given that this is an activist post, I might be mentioning certain issues that might be triggering to some. Check the tags and stay safe. Ily. ❤️

Ever since activist and feminist Audre Lorde devised intersectionality as a way of describing the experience of multiply-marginalized women, feminism has adapted to include women of color, trans women, queer women, disabled women and religious minority women. Although white, non-intersectional feminism is still pervasive and is the dominant ideology carried on by cishet white women, a significant portion of the feminist movement has embraced the identities and diversity among various groups of women.

Intersectionality allows for us to look at the various ways womanhood affects those experiencing it, instead of just slapping one catch all experience of femininity onto all women. It lets us understand that a woman of color, for example, has less amounts of racial privilege than a white woman and must deal with the burden of specific stereotypes around being a woman of color. Intersectional feminism centers the women with multiple identities, or “intersections,” that society considers unfavorable or marginalized.

However, with all the strides intersectional theory has made in social justice circles, the plight of Autistic women is largely ignored by even the most inclusive feminist circles.

Disabled women as a broader group are often lumped together, even though cognitively disabled, intellectually disabled and physically disabled women contend with incredibly different forms of ableism. Alternatively, the feminist movement also tends to cater to physically disabled women who often have more visibility (which, granted, isn’t a lot) and acceptance than those whose minds are thought to be lesser.

It’s common in the disabled community for people to justify their humanity by asserting their neurotypicality, while erasing and oppressing non-neurotypicals. The pro-Autistic movement itself is mostly made up of women, queer individuals and people of color, and yet somehow it always ends up headed by cis white men. In both feminism and Autistic advocacy, women (especially ones with multiple intersections) are ignored and pushed to the sidelines despite typically facing greater oppression than cis autistic men.

Thus, it’s important to make sure to be inclusive towards autistic women and GNC individuals in both feminism and disabled activism. Here are some ways that I’ve compiled on how to make your feminism both inclusive and accepting as a queer, Autistic feminist.

1. Mention Autistic Women and Bodily Autonomy

Women’s rights to their bodies are an important topic to discuss in feminism, but Autistic women deal with specific challenges in regard to consent and access to care and their bodies, so it’s important to bring up these issues in your discussions.

For starters, the court case Buck v. Bell still stands to this day. The case itself took place in the early 20th century during the eugenicist movement, and the court’s ruling allowed the forced sterilization of anyone labeled feebleminded. It’s legal for parents and guardians of the disabled to sign paper and sterilize anyone under their control regardless of whether the person in question consent to it even now. This is especially unsettling for women of color, who have historically been abused by eugenicist doctors. (See The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks and the book Imbeciles for more information on these topics).

In the medical industry, there are also barriers Autistic women must deal with. Today, there are still ableist debates about whether Autistic and other disabled people deserve emergency medical treatment and organ transplants. Once again, this is especially bad for women of color who deal with medical abuse and malpractice committed against them in modern times.

The gist is, the most vulnerable Autistic women often don’t have the ability to consent to harmful and damaging procedures.

For transgender Autistic women, the burden is tenfold. Many Autistic trans people on social media have shared their stories about how people struggled to believe that they were trans because of their neurological difference. This makes transitional care and access much harder for GNC Autistic people and trans people, as their gender identity is viewed as a symptom.

2. Talk About Consent

Along with consent to medical procedures, there’s also the fact that Autistic women are particularly vulnerable to the whims of violence against women. Here are some ideas to mention when talking about consent.

First off, many Autistic women use alternative methods of communication. Neurotypical women can usually say an explicit ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ though they still face violence. For Autistic women who are nonverbal and communicate through AAC, in a victim blaming culture such as ours their hindered ability to consent can be used against them.

Through ABA therapy, Autistic women are also further taught that their ‘no’ doesn’t matter. True ABA therapy, created by Ivar Lovaas, is essentially legal conditioning. The aim of this psychological form of abuse is to train Autistic children into seeming more Neurotypical instead of embracing their unique neurology and changing their environment to fit their needs. These kids are taught to obey authority at all times, or else they’ll deal with the use of an aversiv e. This of course, discourages their active consent to a situation and puts Autistic women in a dangerous position.

If they are physically as well as cognitively disabled, they may not physically be able to resist or run from an attacker. In many cases, an incidence of assault is justified by the perpetrator claiming that the victim wouldn’t have had a consensual encounter otherwise because they are “ugly” or unworthy of a healthy relationship. Autistic women are often considered to be such..

Trans women and women of color, who are often assaulted more frequently than cis white, women are of course very vulnerable when it comes to this issue. As such, it’s vital to mention this at any discussion of consent.

3. Know that Toxic Femininity Affects Us More than Neurotypical Women

To preface this, I want to say that there’s nothing wrong with being feminine. I myself identify as a femme woman, out of my own personal fashion sense and aesthetic. I like being a feminine woman and wearing dresses and having long hair, though these also aren’t the only ways to be feminine, of course. Embracing femmeness does not mean that someone is servicing the patriarchy, and embracing androgyny and/or butchness also doesn’t mean said person has internalized misogyny. Everyone is entitled to the way they want to present, and feminism should be about uplifting how people choose to present themselves instead of putting down women they don’t think look “liberated” or “feminist” enough.

That being said, the patriarchy tends to enforce feminine roles on cis women and police the feminine expression of transwomen to make them “prove” they’re really trans and “sure” about being women. I like to call this “Toxic Femininity,” the way that women are pressured to conform to Eurocentric femininity regardless of how they actually want to present, but then oppressed for both their femmeness or their alternate presentation if they disregard the aforementioned. Either way, women can’t win.

Abiding by gender roles is exhausting for anyone, but for Autistic women who have limited energy to go into their daily activities and deal with sensory issues and neurotypicals. As such, gender presentation is often pretty low on our list of priorities. Autistic women are often unable to conform to society as our hindered social skills prevent us from perceiving these norms. It’s hard for us to fully conceptualize what’s acceptable and what’s not. As such, it takes extra effort for us to live up to Toxic Femininity.

With our sensory perception, certain clothes are uncomfortable for us and it’s sometimes a necessity to wear certain textures. Men’s clothing or androgynous clothing are often more comfortable, so it’s not uncommon to find us wearing those. As such, we are often labeled butch or non-femme regardless of how we actually identify our presentation. We are cast aside by Toxic Femininity.

This is of course, even more true for fat women, trans women, and physically disabled Autistic women, who’s bodies already don’t abide by the unattainability that Toxic Femininity forces us to live up to.

4. Downplay the Voice of Neurotypicals in Autistic Women’s Issues

Despite their position of being privileged oppressors of the Autistic community, most of our advocacy is done by parents and relatives of Autistic people who believe that they are more entitled to our community and voices. They are the “Autism moms” and those with blue puzzle piece signs in their backyards, constantly yelling over us.

Most of the Autism organizations are run by these people, who often don’t consult with Autistic people about the needs of our community. Even though most of them don’t think they hate Autistic people and may even share common goals with the community, they still oppress us because they’re centering the voices of the privileges instead of the voices that are affected no matter how supportive they are.

An Autistic inclusive feminist space means downplaying Neurotypical rhetoric, meaning stopping the use of hate symbols like puzzle pieces and functioning labels. Cut out the influence of ableist organizations and monitor the use of words like “retarded” in your space. This will be difficult in a pervasively ableist society, but it will be worth it in making a more united social justice movement.

It also means allowing Autistic people to have input in their own issues, and allowing them to reclaim their agency. Know that no matter how many Autistic people you know, if you’re Neurotypical, you will never truly experience being Autistic even if you know more about the condition.

5. Autistic Women Can Still be Racist, Homophobic, or Transphobic – Don’t Be Afraid to Let Them Know

There are usually 2 stereotypes Neurotypicals believe about us, and strangely enough, they’re complete opposites. We’re either hyperviolent, unfeeling school shooters to them or perfect innocent angels who never do anything wrong. Obviously, these are ableist because they assume that all Autistic people are the same, but most people tend to look at us as the latter stereotype because it’s more “politically correct” even though both viewpoints are hurtful in different ways.

As such, when Autistic people are genuinely oppressive, they aren’t held accountable. I’ve had interactions with homophobic Autistic people who accepted me for my Autism but not the fact that I was a girl who loved girls. I’ve met misogynist Autistic men who viewed me as an object and wouldn’t respect my boundaries and right to say ‘no’ to a relationship. As an Autistic white person, I myself hold institutional power over Autistic people of color and as such, am able to be racist.

Autistic people shouldn’t be given a free pass for their bigotry, and assuming that they should denies them their agency and oppresses others in that space.

Autistic women have a lot to contribute to feminism, and neurotypical women should allow them the opportunity to rise against their own oppression. Thanks for reading and for making your feminism inclusive –

Trust me, it means the world to us.

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flyswhumpcenter · 4 years

Text

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you may have sent me requests according to this marvelous card!

We've always been fucked up because nature is, in fact, a dirty little bitch who enjoys itself with abnormalities. She gets amused by giving birth to men in women's bodies or does the opposite, sometimes.

This story absolutely isn't for the faint of heart. It openly and severely deals with gender dysphoria. It may be phrased with my usual dose of purple prose bullshit sparkles, but that's kind of it. It's still raw. Needless to say it's based on personal experience. Also, hahaha, guess who got stuck with his stupid ideas. I don't even remember why I picked "Forced Out of the Closet" back in August. I think I was planning on making this an original work thing, but it ended up never panning because I switched fully into fandom mood shortly thereafter. I'm pretty sure I was saying that about my first card back in April for "Panic Attack", no? Well, it ended up becoming this thing. I don’t know what to make of it yet.

It's a really weird note to end my 2nd BTHB card on. Until now, compared to the first card, I've been much more focused on physical pain. This has none of it and only 2nd POV narration and angst. I originally started it in a 3rd person POV, but it didn't work out and I thought it'd be worse if I wrote it in a 2nd person POV. It is. It's vivid and it's painful. I love it. Again, thanks to my Writing Crew for the support despite me being an edgy-ass bitch. I guess yiu can also call us the Derek Suffering Crew?

The title of this was what I wanted to give to the sixth chapter of Earth Never Stops, but it ended up not really ringing right with that chapter in particular. I feel like it fits here much better. And of course we gotta go with a rewritten Angie because, y'know. Canon Angie is canon Angie...

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Like Honey in a Cup of Acid

Summary: You may have explanations to give to your assistant now that she's discovered something wasn't exactly normal, Derek. (You may also like not to do so because you want to forget).

Fandom: Trauma Center Relationship: Pre-rel DerAng

Wordcount: 2K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo (Thank you so much for having me for a second time!)

AO3 version available here.

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A sort of weight immediately hits you when Angie asks you if you can have a little talk now that your thoughts aren’t just a painkiller-induced mishmash of words and incoherent thoughts with neither head nor tail. She looks concerned and perplexed, puzzled even, her eyes never truly looking into yours. Almost as if, for once, the fierce and daring Angie is intimidated by something about you. Sounds farfetched, right?

Well, there could be a number of reasons. You did almost just die on her a couple days ago and surely you can’t look much better than your own patients at the moment. You know, the usual: pale face, dark rings under the eyes that look like trenches, reddened eyes… She could just be very concerned for you like Kimishima has told you before when checking if you were still amongst the living.

When you finally have the “little talk”, it’s in your hospital room, with you still bedridden and her on a chair to your left, next to the IV drip still inserted into your wrist, her hands pinching her skirt or clutching a notepad against her chest when she holds it. You’re not sure if there’s something even written on the thing, wondering if it isn’t just her way to cope with stress and whatever is making her anxious. Her fingers are shaking and the hair on her exposed forearms is risen. How come she’s so terrified? Do you really look this awful?

“What did you want to tell me about, Angie?” You ask, in a gentle tone, making sure you aren’t forcing on your throat so you don’t worry her even more. The tense silence in the room and the lack of noise in the later hours of the evening helps your low voice to be heard.

“I… Huh… Well, it’s just that… I was curious!”

“Curious? About what?”

Angie looks away, red creeping on her cheeks, breath hitching in her throat. She gulps, shakes her head, takes a deep breath in, another out, and finally, looking at the ground, starts speaking again.

“When Dr Kimishima started the operation I…” She hides her face in her hands, her notepad and pen clicking against the ground. “I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it since your operation!” Well, this sure is going to be a dirty secret, as Tyler would have said. “But, when she started the operation, I noticed something on your chest, and…”

Your heart skips a beat. You forgot about that, haven’t you? You forgot she’d notice such a thing, didn’t you? Alas, it’s a bit too late to pretend like she didn’t see what she must have seen. Kyriaki nor Paraskevi are known to leave stains on one’s skin, they aren’t Tetarti.

“What did you see?” You ask, feigning ignorance.

“Ah… I don’t know how to describe them well… But they were two weirdly shaped scars around your pectoral muscles. They kind of looked like –”

“—crescents, right?”

“Yeah!”

Angie picks her notepad back into her hands, avoiding eye contact, much to his satisfaction. You really, really don’t want to have this conversation, this awful, rotten conversation you’ve had a couple times already. If it’s never ended too badly, even with your own mother, you still don’t want to live through it again. Alas, did you really think you’d escape it forever, especially with someone you hold so close to your heart (and in more ways than one too)? You’d have had to tell her one day anyway, so better get on with it, right?

Wrong. Your hands are trembling and your throat is tied into a knot. You don’t want to utter these forsaken words. You want that part of you to remain a secret from the entire world. But, alas, you also don’t want to lie to your trusted nurse, to your best friend during surgery procedures. In any case, she’d eventually guessed you lied to her, so popping the bubble off now or later is kind of the same. But, even with that knowledge in mind… It doesn’t make what’s about to happen any less dreadful.

Derek?

What if she isn’t as accepting as she seems? What if she stares at you right in the eyes like a freak, like a circus monster, like a broken doll that was badly stringed back together, like something that shouldn’t be, like, like…

Huh… Derek?

And, hey, what if she thinks you’re not fit for you job because of this? You’re technically experiencing a state of distressed triggered by the littlest things. It’s about faraway childhood memories, whenever you see a father with his biological child, when someone mentions a monthly event you’d have rather never known… Hey, what if that happened during an operation?

Dereeeeek? Are you still here?

You can’t ignore the existential dread coursing through your veins. You know, the one that happens when you remember that your father never called you by your right name, what was written on your birth certificate, what they called you in high school, how you look on all the pictures your mom won’t set fire to like you wish you could do… Yeah, that dread. That toxic, lava-like dread.

Hey, Derek, what’s wrong?!

Her urgent tone makes you snap back to reality. She’s staring at you with big, full of concern eyes, her hands on your shoulder, gently shaking it.

“Ah, sorry, I… must have zoned out. Sorry for worrying you, Angie…?”

“Are you alright? You’ve got tears in your eyes…”

You realize you have to look dumb and weird, so you take your glasses off and rub the water away.

“What were you saying, then?”

“Ah, huh… I was talking about the scars you had on your chest… I’ve never seen such specific shapes before. So…” Her hands tangle together. “I was curious, that’s it. Feel free not to reply, if it throws you in such a state of distress…”

“No, it’s… It’s fine. It’s just… difficult to explain.”

Your voice breaks when you try to push the words out of your tangled throat. You aren’t ready for this. You’ve not found your way out of there yet. You’ve been pushed into a corner and the only way out is to find the right words at the right time while not knowing how she’ll react. Maybe she’ll really think you’re the error of nature you are, you whose brain and body weren’t able to match, you whose chromosomes and spirit never agreed before your birth, you who has had to fight your way out of the mess your own biology threw you into before you were even born.

Her fingers are cold against your feverish skin, against the goose-bumps that your medical gown doesn’t hide well. You’ve made it this far only for your world to perhaps crumble again and the existential dread appears again. What if she never accepts you again? What if she calls you “Mr Stiles” again, starts staring at you with an amused glare? What if this supportive glance she gives you and the kind words she’s offered since you got over your differences disappeared as soon as she knew? Why is it that you always have to throw a shot in the dark when the truth of your story comes back to bite you?

You need to trust in Angie, don’t you? She’s been kind of your guardian angel until now, would she give up on you for this? Do you believe so little in her for that to happen? Aren’t you too harsh on her, aren’t you getting too caught up in your own web?

“I… got them from a surgery I had in med school. As far as I know, only Tyler and a couple other people are aware I have them.”

“From what kind of surgery?”

Here it comes. The nausea’s already here, twisting your stomach, squeezing your heart as it increases in pulse, choking your throat shut. If you weren’t in this bed, surely your head would spin.

“…Top surgery.”

Angie seems fairly confused, until her eyes snap open, glimmering in realization.

“You mean, like a mammectomy?”

“…Yes.”

Your voice almost fails you again. You feel tears you want to dry again burning your retinae, blurring your vision and the candid face of the nurse who’s just realized what you really were. You fucking liar.

“For…”

“Part of gender dysphoria treatment,” you reply trying to pretend to be an encyclopaedia, to be the internet pages you read in your teenage years when puberty got confusing and warped into a lucid nightmare.

“Oh my God…”

Angie’s face distorts in what you can only qualify as distress, horror or disgust. She tries looking at you, fixating on your bandaged chest, her gaze struggling to even meet with your face. You wish you could pat her head, tell her it’s fine, that she didn’t know, that you’re sorry for being that and not telling her before, that she’s right to feel betrayed if that’s the case; but your hands are numb and dirty, covered in acid and black mud, and you can’t dirty her like that because you, yourself, are a special kind of a biological and anatomical failure. She’s a collection doll, you’re a broken toy.

“I’m sorry, Derek, I’m… I… I shouldn’t be like that!” She stumbles on her own words. “You’ve just told me such an important thing and I… I…”

“It’s fine…” You try to sound reassuring, but the truth is that you’re still shaking, terrified and apprehensive.

“I should’ve known! It’s such a sensitive topic, I… God, Angie, you need to pull yourself together and stop being so noisy!”

He clutches her hand at last.

“It’s fine, really. I’m… at least glad I could tell you by myself…”

That’s not entirely wrong. You just wish you didn’t feel backed into such an uncomfortable corner. It’s not her fault, of course, she was just concerned for an abnormal thing about you… A lot of you is abnormal, after all.

“I’m still me, though.” He wants to assert that with that shaky voice of his. “It’s just something I don’t like… talking about, per say.

Angie takes a deep breath and focuses back into a state of stability.

“Of course you’re still you, Derek. You’re still the surgeon who saved the world from GUILT. I would never stop thinking that. You’ve always been Derek to me, why would that change now?”

The warm smile he gives her make the hair on his skin calm down, little by little. It’ll be okay, eventually.

“I’m just… so sorry I forced you to confess like that.”

“I’d have had to tell you anyway, one day, I suppose…”

“You didn’t have to. At least, not this early…”

“It’s fine anyway. I forgive you.”

“Thanks…”

For the first time since she’s entered the room, you can exhale with a relieved heart and a normal pulse, profit from the rainbow that shows up after the rain. The dread is still there, hiding like a snake in your stomach, ready to bite into your throat at any moment of vulnerability you show in front of it; but, now, you have a new ally to help through the storms.

“Just promise me you’ll never tell anyone, okay?”

“I never planned on having that secret exit this room. Not even the walls of Caduceus will know about it!”

You chuckle.

“I like your spirit.”

You want to thank her again, but it feels like overkill, and you want to have the snake finally resting, asleep in the pit of your abdomen. For now, a serene silence is enough. It’s more than enough after all this trouble, all the turmoil and all of the acid rain that drenched the both of you…

There’s no need to worry anymore when you have nothing left to hide and no one but a guardian next to you; so relax, now. It’ll all be fine, from now on, now that the lead prison around your chest is gone…

#trauma center #derang #bad things happen bingo #derek stiles #angie thompson #forced out of the closet #emotional hurt comfort #angst #angst with a happy ending #otp: nice work dr stiles

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granite-pills-blog · 4 years

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the-ethereal-serpent · 5 years

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Crystal Healing Or Crystal Harming?

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

This post was created by Ruby Sol on the Pagans & Witches Amino.

This is the link to their profile : http://aminoapps.com/p/r17v8b

I have been given permission to repost this.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

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It's one of the most frequently discussed subjects in the new-age world, and for many, it is the 'gateway drug' to witchcraft. Much like astrology, crystals and semi-precious gemstones have burst into a market worth billions, and their popularity is only increasing with the Instagram-worthy aesthetic, celebrity and influencer endorsement, and the attractive fashionable wonder of the metaphysical.

However, there are a number of issues within this metaphysical trend that I believe are not discussed or considered nearly as much as they should be. In the past, I've been quite vocal about these issues in discussion, however I've never actually brought it up in a dedicated post. So today I will be discussing some of the key problems stemming from the market.

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Disclaimer: I own crystals and semi-precious stones, loads of them! I am not suggesting you throw out all of your lovely stones! They are beautiful, and I love my collection. However I have made the choice, based on what I'm about to discuss, to no longer purchase any more. I now find all my crystals from natural places such as beaches or in naturally exposed rock. You don't have to make the same choices as me, I just ask that you consider some of the evidence.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

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Harm To Ecosystems

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Question : "What crystals should I buy to connect to nature?"

Answer : "None!"

It's no secret that humans are having a huge impact on the welfare of our planet, and the process of mining crystals and gemstones is just another way this is occurring.

There are very few mines that seek only crystals and gemstones, usually they are collected within larger scale metal-ore mines. All mines regardless of size WILL have a negative environmental impact to some degree, which can result from soil contamination, destruction and erosion of land, ground and air pollution, and waste management. Larger mines will obviously have a greater impact.

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It was only recently that mining became more strictly regulated, but as a result adbandonned mines cause massive pollution problems, as companies were under no obligation to restore the surrounding land to any kind of sustainable eco-positive condition. When water enters the mines it can create large amounts of acidic and metallic runoff that contaminates and pollutes landscapes, killing wildlife and affecting ecosystems.

Mining can and does cause great harms to our planet. Furthermore in countries such as Brazil, governments are often encouraged to turn a blind eye to the breach of regulations, so often despite new rules being in place, these may not be adhered to.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Isn't it ironic that we will buy a stone to "connect with nature", but in doing so may actually contribute to a great harm done to the natural world?

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Harm To Workers

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As stated, there is a distinct lack of regulation into the mining of metal-ore and subsequently crystals and gemstones. This does not just affect the environment, but also the people who work in the mines.

Many mines are situated in developing countries, therefore the mining jobs are often the only option for people living in poverty. As a result, employers get away with paying the workers extremely little. These low paid jobs can also be incredibly unsafe - without the limited regulations, safety procedures are not closely adhered to, meaning unstable mines, breathing in poisonous dust and gases and fumes, and risk of physical injury.

There is also the issue of child labour - in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where citrine and smokey quartz is collected in the cobalt and copper mines, it has been reported that children as young as 7 years old are working in these unsafe underpaid conditions. It has also been suggested that the Taliban earn up to $20m a year from Lapis Lazuli mines.

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Sourcing

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Now you might be thinking "but Ruby, if I make sure to buy crystals from ethical sources, then what's the problem?", and you're right IF you can track precisely where and how your crystals came to the shop and it is ethically sound, then there is no problem!

The issue lies in the fact that it is very very difficult to know where crystals actually came from - many suppliers will not even know for certain! With a distinct lack of governing bodies to regulate the accountability of the industry, accurately tracking and understanding the source of your stones is significantly more difficult than say, checking the source of your eggs to make sure they're organic and free range.

European importers tend to buy from dealers, and not directly from the mines. They therefore have to trust the dealers to be honest about the mining conditions their stock came from, and can never be truly certain of this.

If you do know a local supplier, who you KNOW is vigilant about ethically sourcing their gemstones and crystals, fantastic. They might even gather their own stock if they live near a source of naturally exposed quartz! Furthermore, you might even live near somewhere where you yourself can gather your own crystals, minerals, and gemstones. However, if you are not certain, is it not better to be safe than sorry?

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Evidence

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Now this is the really controversial point. The evidence predominantly suggests that while yes, crystal healing CAN work, there is NO evidence that this is due to any specific energies or vibrations from stones - it's actually the placebo effect. Crystal Healing is, in short, a bit of a pseudoscience.

I don't want to suggest that the placebo effect isn't powerful or useful - it is incredibly powerful! I think one could even class the placebo effect as a type of magic - believing something so strongly that you experience the results, what's not magic about that?

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

The point of this isn't "don't bother with crystal healing because it doesn't work", my point is that you should use the benefits, but maybe you don't have to spend large sums of money on expensive crystals that come from ethically questionable sources, when a pebble from the beach will do the EXACT same thing!

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

And again, a lot of this does come down to what we choose to believe. For me, there is not enough scientific evidence to make me believe that rocks have "vibrational frequencies" - I personally think its nonsense. However, what does that say about me, as I do choose to believe in magic, gods, goddesses, faeries, and ghosts? These similarly have no shred of evidence, indeed they are all unfalsifiable beliefs. But please consider, do you need the pretty shiny pink stone, or will a smooth pebble do the same job?

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Conclusion

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It is evident that there are significant issues with crystals and gemstones that are not as widely discussed in the Pagan and witchcraft community as they maybe should be. Many pagans and witches preach about wanting to be connected to nature - but then hypocritically buy into a market that actively harms ecosystems. It could be argued that for those who follow the wiccan rede, buying crystals from an unknown source is contradictory - for how can you 'harm none' when buying into a market of child lab

#Crystal #Crystals #Environmental #environmentalism #environmental crisis #Witch #green witch #crystal witch #witchcraft #witchy #witch community #Pagan #Wiccan #Crystal Healing #Metaphysical

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letshomecleaningserviceslov-blog · 4 years

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Benefits of Hiring a Home Cleaning Service

If you are restricted with the measure of time you need to put resources into the everyday house cleaning tasks, an expert local home cleaning service may be a significant help to depend on. They will have the option to let loose a great deal of your valuable time to empower you to appreciate other progressively ideal exercises. Since you will give somebody access to your home, you truly need to verify that you can enlist the home cleaning company. Subsequently you need to ensure you can lead the fundamental keeps an eye on the picked organization to guarantee they are altogether dependable.

Here are a few stages engaged with the way towards home cleaning service:

During the time spent contracting the correct household administration you truly need to bend over backward to guarantee that you are utilizing the administrations of an equipped and solid organization. Perhaps the most ideal approaches to find a quality help is to depend on the individual referrals from companions or partners that may have utilized a comparative assistance before. Yet, in the event that that choice is a practical choice, you can utilize the Internet to scan for the privately based organizations that can offer a cleaning administration that appears to get a decent number of positive remarks and tributes from existing and past customers. It may likewise profit in the event that you can set up the procuring strategies utilized by the different cleaning organizations all together that you can get a thought of the sort and nature of cleaner that may be sent to your home.

A wide assortment of cleaning administrations is probably going to be exceptionally attractive. Regardless of whether you are searching for a comprehensive residential cleaning administration which can clean the house start to finish, including such exercises as cleaning the broiler and the windows, to the more standard tidying and vacuuming, you shouldn't have an excessive amount of trouble in finding a quality assistance ready to take on want cleaning obligations. Preceding concurring an agreement with the cleaning firm, you need to verify that you can completely layout the cleaning administrations required and that these are completely pleasing.

Get the correct cost for the cleaning administration. At the point when you are leading your quest for get it done home cleaning service, the charges joined to the various administrations are probably going to change altogether. You along these lines need to verify that you can concede to a cleaning bundle that can offer the ideal cleaning duties and the normality of the cleaning day visits is set at the perfect interim.

How to Choose a Great Home Cleaning Service and Ensure You Get Top Notch Service

Alright, so you are prepared for a support of clean your home. Bravo! In any case, notwithstanding needing first class administration at a reasonable value, you may ask: "How might I confide in somebody in my home, or even better, with a key to my home?"

The interest for proficient home cleaning administrations keeps on developing. An ever increasing number of individuals understand that re-appropriating these, occasionally not exactly alluring undertakings, can have an incredible degree of profitability. Frequently, the greatest result for enlisting a home cleaning administration isn't only the time you are not cleaning, however the complete time - and vitality you recover in the past spent fearing or abstaining from cleaning.

Employing a support of clean your house is a significant choice, with numerous contemplations. Trust is crucial since it is, all things considered, your own space. Very frequently clients are not posing the correct inquiries or getting their work done.

Two Big Issues

Manage an expert organization - There are numerous people or "private gatherings" that will clean your home and may work admirably. Be that as it may, in the event that you procure an individual instead of an organization to clean your home and pay them a specific sum in a year; you are their boss. In the event that they neglect to pay appropriate expenses on target you pay them, you could wind up being subject (also whenever you are up for a bureau position, this makes certain to wind up all over CNN!) Also, on the off chance that somebody comes into your home to work for you, and is harmed or harmed, you could be obligated.

At the point when you employ an expert house keeper administration, you are, preferably, staying away from every one of these dangers. The administration proprietor should worry about the concern of finance assesses, Worker's Compensation, and risk protection. An expert assistance will likewise offer preparing for their workers. The entirety of the hazard and risk is never again your duty as the client. That sort of significant serenity merits an extra $20. Right?

Go for proficient, yet not on picture alone - Just in light of the fact that a business has polished business cards, and a Web webpage that rivals Microsoft, you despite everything need to get your work done. Remember these inquiries when settling on your choice on which cleaning organization to enlist:

1. Who will clean my home? Do they use workers or self employed entities? Whatever the appropriate response is, you need consolation that you are getting the securities that should accompany an expert assistance. Do they use people or groups? Ask them for what valid reason they utilize the model they do. Diverse plans of action work for various reasons. Simply be certain the organization you need to employ is doing it for the correct reasons. The IRS has a valuable guide on their Web website to figure out what characterizes a worker and self employed entity relationship.

2. Do they perform criminal personal investigations and pre-screen workers? Each help ought to have an arrangement for historical verifications and pre-screening workers. With the present innovation, even the littlest organization approaches minimal effort instruments over the Internet. You will need to know the arrangement they follow and what their procedure is for due determination while enlisting.

3. Is it true that they are appropriately safeguarded? Protection incorporates general obligation protection and Workers Compensation. It doesn't damage to request a duplicate of protection endorsements. As much as protection costs, they ought to gladly demonstrate it to you.

4. Do they offer a fulfillment ensure? What does it involve? To what extent after the administration is performed, do I need to call to report issues that should be tended to? Regardless of how great an assistance is, or how extraordinary the worker preparing program, it is defective people cleaning the house. As the client, you ought to have consolation that if the group has a "terrible day", the organization will make it right.

5. Who will have the way in to my home? What is the arrangement? How might I be certain I am protected? This ought to be a tremendous concern, and most clients don't think to pose this inquiry. Are the keys marked out every day? How are the keys kept at different occasions? Where are they kept? Is it accurate to say that they are bolted up? Who is liable for them? If they somehow happened to be lost or taken, are there any markings that recognize where they go? Ensure there is nothing to distinguish your location on the key. Likewise, ask in advance, in the occasion the key is lost or taken, what is the supplant/re-key approach?

6. "Are you fortified?" Please don't solicit this, and tell the entirety of your companions, family, and friends and family this isn't the inquiry to pose. In all seriousness, don't try asking this. It truly makes no difference with the exception of in extraordinary cases. How a bond functions is that it is bought (it isn't protection, however protection specialists issue them) for the most part for as meager as $200 every year for a little organization. For what reason is a bond so modest? They are low in cost in light of the fact that there are once in a while any cases paid out on them. A bond will pay if a representative is found taking, is attempted, and sentenced. In the days prior to the data superhighway, altogether looking into an individual's experience was past the methods for most little organizations. In years past, the contracting procedure was difficult to explore and "circumstances" would happen. With the entirety of the instruments accessible today, every entrepreneur has simple access to assess whom they are employing to clean your home. All things considered, most home cleaning organizations feel free to purchase the bond essentially in light of the fact that it is simpler to spend the $200 bucks a year and obligingly answer when asked, "yes we are fortified", instead of going into the above account. Likewise, simply envision how cool you will look when you are in a gathering talking about this at the mixed drink party, when the subject of tidying administrations comes up!

7. It is safe to say that you are both in the same spot? Very regularly, the guilty party of the cleaning administration client relationship going south is an absence of correspondence. A clever cleaning administration proprietor should walk you through what their administration will accomplish for you and your home and give you an away from of what you can anticipate. Be certain that you focus on what they let you know. Even better, maybe they have showy print materials that likewise pass on what their administration can offer you. Everybody has their "hot catches" (what clean intends to them); what one individual believes is perfect may not be "spotless" to someone else. It's simply human instinct. For certain individuals it is the bed made the perfect way; for other people, it is a spotless sink. Make sense of where you tumble from one end to the next in the range of being exacting. On the off chance that the main thing to you isn't being done, bring it up. You ought not just expect that it will be done and that they should "simply know".

8. What would it be advisable for me to do in the event that I am not content with the administration I get? Maybe it isn't until the primary, second, or third cleaning that you find what your cleaning "hot catches" are. (Side note: focus on what these are. It can spare you YEARS of treatment on the off chance that you give close consideration to what they are).

I trust that a portion of these disclosures will be beneficial things your expert cleaning group has done that you didn't hope to affect you the manner in which they did. Be that as it may, in the event that you discover "things" that grind your nerves, you should address them. Ensure it was not just the day at the workplace that is influencing your point of view. CALL, express your interests to the proprietor/administrator. In all honesty, the best help proprietors APPRECIATE and welcome valuable analysis. It is the most ideal approach to manufacture a superior business, and experts will consider your to be as a blessing. On the off chance that it is something little, let it slide until the following visit. On the off chance that it does make a difference to you, at that point ask that they send the group back to address it. They ought to be glad to do as such when sensibly conceivable. Keep in mind, this is a close connection and connections require correspondence; connections without correspondence come up short!

Presently you recognize what to ask (and you have a couple of other spontaneous bits of extraordinary counsel for sure). Pose the correct inquiries; get the incredible help you require and appreciate. It makes certain to add to an amazing nature. A little knowledge: the greatest days will be the point at which you overlook the professional apartment cleaners are coming and you confess all good smelling home.

#house cleanig services #usa #home cleaning service

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ketobodytoneofficialsite-blog · 4 years

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Keto BodyTone - Improve Your Diet Today! | Special Offer!

These days, we can see that "stoutness is spreading rapidly among the whole populace." There are only a few homes left where people aren't fat. Something else, each family unit has an overweight individual.

"As indicated by this logical investigation, weight is like illnesses. It's spreading in the whole body in the blink of an eye and gives huge amounts of incidents. That is the reason specialists consistently direction to get away from low quality nourishments, undesirable food sources, do an exercise, and a mess more."

There's not need to educate you about the thought processes regarding corpulence in light of the fact that each overweight individual knows about the wellspring of stoutness. Yet at the same time, they're not getting center around it. Remember that "you can't lose overabundance weight until your head isn't focusing on weight reduction."

Is it accurate to say that you are mindful of why we can't diminish weight? There might be resulting reasons:-

A few people have faith in lessening weight, however because of the nonappearance of time, they despite everything can't focus on weight reduction!

Loads of individuals endeavor to diminish weight, yet a few people today wash their musings by expressing, "corpulence is a regular issue"!

Some individual cases they might want to diminish weight, however they haven't such power and continuance to perform work out!

While the quantity of them is controlled by only a weight reduction supplement that is an untrustworthy endeavor!

Along these lines, there are bunches of reasons making individuals not ready to decrease weight. At that point, what do you have to do at this stage? Is there any nourishing enhancement that could help you? Or on the other hand you have to live consistently with this specific heftiness? All things considered, not! Since Keto BodyTone is here to determine your stoutness issue. Peruse the underneath article to know one of a kind things about it.

What Is Keto BodyTone?

It is safe to say that you are keen on a keto diet? In the event that yes! This is one of The absolute best and best strategies for getting in shape. It's figured under the more noteworthy thought of their certified researchers. A great deal of people are appreciating this enhancement since it drops 10 to 30 and pounds that is the explanation it's so normal. It will supply you with countless favorable circumstances.

Does Keto BodyTone Work?

At the point when you have to expend fat snappy, the ketogenic diet is an extraordinary weight decrease substitute. Additionally, keto pills can permit you to uncover indications of progress impacts. According to the Official Keto BodyTone Website, these pills could bolster you:

Get Active Fat Burning

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Furthermore, that is just a glimpse of something larger!

There are these immense amounts of potential outcomes to keto! 1 assessment even conveys that utilizing the keto diet can extend your absorption and help control craving. This way, on the off plausibility that you're solid and steady to appreciate these high keto pills could work for you, click any picture or get on this page to begin before arrangements are no more!

The best strategy to Use Keto BodyTone Pills:

To get live activity results with keto, you Will Should be effectively utilizing an appropriate ketogenic diet. Else, you are not prone to watch the outcomes which you're searching for after. Keto BodyTone Weight Loss could work with the correct eating schedule. Thusly, here are two or three hints to empower you to begin:

Get Fat: This may appear to be silly, anyway by augmenting fat to 70 percent, you're accepting that you have adequate fat to pick the vitality you want in the midst of ketosis.

Cut Back: To effectively achieve ketosis, you're probably going to need to chop down carbs to 5 percent. Else, you are not expected to watch the outcomes that keto can give you.

Push Yourself: Nobody meets its points by giving up. Keep driving yourself to continue utilizing the keto diet; be that as it may, when things get irritating.

Fixings List Of Keto BodyTone:

Apple Cider Vinegar:- With this mixture, ketosis can't come into nearness. It's an absolute best mixture for upgrading weight decrease. Beside it, this fixing can help control cholesterol level that assists with treating your heart. As a general rule, it's likewise helpful in controlling diabetes and upgrade the dissemination of blood. It keeps the ketosis method for additional time.

Beta-Hydroxybutyrate (BHB):- This is an exogenous ketone which assists with creating loads of hormones. These hormones help decline greasy layers in the human body, and it's likewise gainful in working ketosis strategy. This fixing likewise will help change the starting point of vitality from sugars to extreme fat.

Coffee Eliminate:- This is valuable in improving the assimilation procedure. On the off chance that you have any issues connected to the stomach related tract, at that point this implantation is helpful. Also, it helps scholarly prosperity which differentiates among body and brain.

Lemon Extract:- There's no compelling reason to illuminate the properties regarding the imbuement. It's an enemy of oxidant that assists with killing poisons and wastages in the body. This fixing is useful in detoxifying your whole body.

Hydroxycitric Corrosive:- This component will assist with lessening hunger packs by checking hunger. It permits you to thin and coordinate by making you want. Furthermore, it helps keep your body hydrated and vivacious for the whole day.

Cell Reinforcements:- This imbuement battle against free radicals and furthermore lessen additional fat. This helps with improving the force and stamina in the human body.

Cases Benefits Of Keto BodyTone:

I trust you will like this Product and need to get it in the wake of perusing its advantages. How about we uncover its criticalness in detail.

Lessen The Weight: The primary Goal of this Item is to Eliminate weight, which may You reach in the wake of using this #1 plan. I'm certain it will filter your whole body, and you'll feel satisfied with it. As this ketogenic weight decrease supplement gives you a perfect body form, in just half a month. At that point you'll feel sure to wear your preferred dresses.

Changes Fat Into Pure Energy: When this equation enters the human body, it starts the ketosis procedure that consumes your store fat as a fuel to create vitality rather than starches. This dietary enhancement upgrades the age of ketones from the liver, which cultivates up the reason for the gut and will assault these districts where fat is gathered in the sort of fat tissue.

Lift Metabolic Rate: The absolute first approach to Drop weight would be the fitting working of the stomach. This will expand the adequacy of the gut. At the point when you have a healthy gut, you'll get your point. As you understand that gastric brokenness is among the huge issue of corpulence. Nonetheless, moreover, it will unravel this problem.

Lift Body Strength: This dietary enhancement is valuable in upgrading the body power. As it gives you a lot of vitality, so it helps with making muscle slim and hearty. That implies you can play out your home employments promptly with more viability.

Lift Mental Clarity: This #1 ketogenic weight reduction supplement is the most ideal method for expanding the ketones degree inside the human body, which works as a catalyze that builds the metabolic rate and consume off the overabundance fat. It produces vitality in the put away fat of your own body that is a fabulous wellspring of vitality to your psyche. Accordingly with this healthful enhancement, you are probably going to feel a remarkable increment inside the human body and great mental lucidity, which would trigger the job of the cerebrum.

Prudent steps Of Keto BodyTone:

In the event that you're pregnant and pregnant, at that point you aren't allowed to utilize it.

This thing isn't took into consideration under 18 decades.

Try not to utilize other human services pills together with it.

Not for alcoholic and medication addicts.

Faqs:

Q. How to utilize Keto BodyTone?

It's to be acquired before hitting the sack every day. It Doesn't Affect dozing customs and craving. Our product is a supplemental nourishment substance, thus it gives you the fundamental ketones as well as with all the overabundance vitality to the human body. In the wake of getting the ideal outcomes, you're ready to lessen its portion gradually. You need to take two pills every night with milk and keeping in mind that diminishing the treatment, 1 pill every night or each other night.

Q. Is Keto BodyTone Diet Pills Safe For Use?

Indeed! It's sheltered to be utilized in light of the fact that the majority of the individuals that have Used this Product they've asserted it is a lot of incredible and safe for your wellbeing.

Q. Is Keto BodyTone Available In the USA?

Truly! It's offered in 20 different nations, for example, the USA.

Is It Safe For Females?

No, it is ok for the females yet hazardous just for the nursing moms and under 18.

Are There Any Side Effects?

Everything in this world incorporates a terms and conditions Tag, same habits there are very few symptoms which might be comprehended in a touchy body. There could be a few pimples on face by virtue of the release of oil from fat stores. There could be a little loss of rest in view of the consuming sensation expedited by the consuming of inside fat linings. In this way, There may likewise be a feeling of no longing because of fat stockpiling getting scorched, providing the body with vitality which nourishment gives.

Q. Is Keto BodyTone Effective?

This might be addressed just once you take it yourself. The Product incorporates the wellbeing of weight decrease and getting you the favored body. There are different audits on the web about it where people state it is incredible and works fine. That implies it's conceivable to be rest sure of it working and getting you the dream body structure.

Client Reviews:

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Where To Buy Keto BodyTone?

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Last Verdict On Keto BodyTone:

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#ketobodytone #ketobodytonereview #ketobodytonediet

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