#and also the number of people who don't believe me when i say i struggle w restricting is :(((

[wosoamazing]

Gone

Summary: Based on this request.

Warnings: Mentions of Death

A/N: This is shorter than I would've liked, and I don't know it I really hit the mark with it. But hopefully you all like it, I also don't know why I had such troubles getting it finished but I did, also thank you to the wonderful anon who helped me with ideas. :)

You were sitting in the locker room when your phone rang, it was your Mum, she never called, she hates you, it must be an accident, you let it go to voicemail, however she rang again.

“Sorry it's my Mum, I should take it,” Alexia nodded but you knew deep down she would be confused.

_

“I’ve got some good news,” she cackled, “Well I guess you won’t think it's good news, your father is dead, he was hit by a car.” She hung up. Your dad was your number one supporter, he gave up so much for you, you really didn’t want to go to Barça and leave him but you did, you spoke to him every night, just last night he was discussing your game today with you.

“Everything okay,” Alexia asked as you walked back in. Alexia found out about your situation one night and took you under her wing, she became like a mother figure to you, so you knew it would be a struggle to hide this from her.

“Yep,” you said, putting up a strong fake front, hoping she believed it.

“Okay,” she replied with a weak smile, you just hoped she had believed you.

This match was for your Dad, you were going to play for him.

In the 80th minute of the game you took a corner, and for the third time that match you had managed to hit the back of the net, you had just made a hat-trick, as you run to your team to celebrate you kiss your hand and put it to your heart whilst pointing to the sky, a celebration that wouldn’t have been understood by a single person in that stadium. 

When the whistle blew, you felt a weight drop on you, as a single tear rolled down your cheek, you immediately panicked, you couldn’t break, you couldn’t break here, in front of thousands of people and your team. So you ran, you sprinted down the tunnel and into the locker room, quickly grabbing your bag before heading straight to your car, the press wasn't there yet thankfully. You ignored Alexia’s cries of your name as she followed after you trying to get you to stop, but you didn't. You jumped into your car and drove off, you could see defeated Alexia in your rearview mirror, as she dragged her feet walking back into the stadium.

_____

You were sitting on your couch, just staring blankly at a spot on your wall, you felt nothing, no emotions, you were just sitting there and starting. Until your ‘peace’ was disturbed by a pounding at the door. You got up and walked towards the door.

You opened the door and saw Alexia standing there, Mapi and Ingrid were behind her.

“Y/N, why did you leave early, you know that is not on, Jonatan is not happy with you, why did you go? You better have a very good excuse.” She yelled at you, you didn’t reply, just stood there giving her your blank stare.

“Bebita?” she says furrowing her brow, growing slightly concerned. You felt hot tears start to prick in your eyes, you felt your throat tighten at the emotion. You opened your mouth trying to say something, anything, but all that left was a choked sob, your knees buckled under you as you collapsed onto the floor, Alexia quickly responded by scooping you up, and sitting on the couch, placing you in her lap. You curled into a ball, trying to hide away from the world.

Alexia held you tightly, rocking slightly as she whispered reassuring words into your ear, sobs wracked your body as the reality of what had happened started to sink deeper in, breaking your heart more with every minute, your body was shaking, your breath was shallow and rapid, soon you felt dizzy.

“Y/N/N, can you take some deep breaths? Follow my lead.” You took a few deep breaths with Alexia.

“What’s wrong?” Alexia asked you, voice laced with concern.

“H-he’s, h-he’s d-de-dead.” You managed to stutter out between sobs.

“Oh Bebita, I’m so sorry, is that why she called?” you nodded, “Why didn’t you tell us?” You just shrugged, you didn’t want to respond to her, you didn’t want to admit why, but she knew and you knew she knew, but you still didn't want to actually admit it and say it out loud. With a tender touch Alexia lifted your head, your gaze met hers, you knew she would feel bad about herself for the reason so you continued to stay silent. “Amor, you can tell us anything.”

“I-I I didn’t want to be a burden, and I-I didn’t want to bring anything up for you before the game” you admitted with a quiet voice before letting out a shaky breath.

“Amor, you could never be a burden to us, you are familia, our familia, and never feel like you need to protect me Amor. It’s my job to protect you, and look out for you, even more so now. I promise you, we will never judge you, we all love you. Never not tell us something that is hurting you, por favour.” Her voice was unwavering, you nodded, Mapi and Ingrid came to sit next to you and Alexia.

“We will always care about you, you can tell us anything, any time no matter how big or small.” Ingrid told you and the other two nodded in agreement.

“I’m sorry,” you said with a small sniffle, Alexia didn't say anything, she just placed a kiss on your forehead.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #barca femeni x reader #arsenal wfc #barca femeni #barcelona femeni

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

So I was re-reading Nona. And. Have we talked about this yet? Have we gone through the implications of this section?

NtN John 5:4. Analysis under the cut.

I always assumed the tower was a part of the Ninth because right after this chapter Nona sees the tower in the River and after that drives the truck everyone is in to the Ninth. But nowhere does it say that the tower is the Ninth.

I mean, looking at the description it certainly sounds like it - all grey and death, which is why I assumed it was. The Ninth is tall even if embedded inside of a planet, one could argue shafts are towers. But why would a tower of the Ninth be in the River?

First things first; the tower in Tarot stands for sudden change, confusion and awakening - I don't feel this needs further explanation on why it's relevant (I might, however, someday do a Tarot Locked Tomb analysis because there is A LOT there). It also refers to the Tower of Babel, which was destroyed by God along with the uniform language of Earth so that people would not come so close to Him again, so that they stayed vincible. Sound familiar?

John did make a uniform language technically, but he also separated the population to different planets, rendering them unable to unite and overcome him not only due to instilled nationalism but also due to the faults in the Houses. We know that the Sixth is struggling to keep up their lineages and population number - we know the Fourth die too young to really leave anything behind - we know the Second is too busy fighting wars.

This leads me to believe that whatever the tower represents will be the end of the world as they know it - maybe through a new God and an end to the Houses, maybe the end of Godhood and Lyctorhood in general. Either way, something is piercing through the River - something that has the power to change it all.

NtN Chapter 30. Nona's mind knew what it was "above" and "below". Does this refer to Harrow and Alecto?

Now let's go back to that first passage from John 5:4. The parts that stand out to me are 'speared-through and mute', 'a tower that soared, impossible and deadly grey', and 'lurching out of the River as though gasping for air.' All of this sounds like Gideon.

GtN Chapter 37. Very much speared-through and mute.

NtN Chapter 16. Ramrod posture? Soaring, impossible and deadly grey.

NtN Chapter 25. And Gideon knows what's in the River. Chances are that the tower is a construct created by John for whatever purposes. Gideon is also a construct created by John - at least Kiriona is.

I obviously don't know how accurate this connection my brain jumped on is, but it honestly makes a lot of sense to me. There is something below the River, just like how 'reality' is above the river. Especially when considering Nona referred to a thought above and below that knew what the tower was, it appears to me like the below is a plane much like reality and the River where things exist and can continue to exist. I have not yet sat with or developed an opinion on what exactly might be there, but there is something there. I think it might be the cavaliers.

So what if Gideon ended up there? What if, when she ended up in the River at the end of HtN, Gideon ended up in the below once Alecto was forced into Harrow's body? What if John knew all along how to reach there and he finally decided this was the time to bring something - no - someone back?

But you can't really reach the other plane without the River, can you? We have seen it with the Resurrection Beasts - they travel through the River and exist in it while simultaneously being above it. And, if we look at Palamedes, one who has passed and is part of the River needs a container of sorts to be above. Perhaps, then, one can sink while tethered higher in the three layers, but one cannot soar from below without a container to carry them up. An integrated cavalier is forced down, not reaching up - they are buried in the below.

So let's say John brought Gideon back. Her corpse would obviously be the container for her above. The tower, then, could be her container for the River. Ianthe could be using Gideon's aberration in the River as a means to anchor herself as well. That could be why they are the Tower Princes.

Alecto would know the tower was a gateway of sorts. She would understand, like presumably any other Resurrection Beast would understand. But Harrow. Harrow.

GtN Chapter 36. I cannot let go of this passage in relation to the tower. "Instead, she was Drearburh." "She took the whole putrid, quiet, filth-strewn madness of the place, and she opened her doors to it."

Cavaliers' tethers are shown through the eyes, through altering the look of that which binds them to above - so, maybe through being Gideon the tower became Drearburh. Maybe Harrow saw it, and felt it, and she saw Gideon, and she saw home. So she walked, and she walked, and she knew that it would lead back to her.

The tower - Gideon, then, will be the changer of things in the end. Maybe Gideon and Harrow, but definitely Gideon.

#this ended up being so much longer than I was planning for #also the tower having a bell!!!!! muster call to get your girl #Ash does TLT Meta #the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb spoilers #tlt spoilers #gideon the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #tlt meta #tlt speculation #tlt theories

[thebroccolination]

People Think Krist Is Homophobic (but He Isn’t)

[TW: discussions of homophobia, death threats, "the rape filter joke", etc.]

Last September, I made a thread about The Whole Krist Thing, and I'd like to make a version here on Tumblr as well.

NOTE: My being a queer fan of Krist doesn’t override the feelings or opinions of other queer people. I fully understand that time on this planet is limited and you don't need to exert precious energy into researching an actor. The reason I'm making this is to provide context for people who are new to the fandom or just wondering why Krist is known as homophobic.

- Why I Made the Twitter Thread -

As a queer international fan living abroad, my understanding of Thailand, Thai culture, and Thai language is extremely limited. Like most of us, I rely entirely on translations, both official and fan-made.

After watching SOTUS for the first time in 2020, I saw English-speaking fans claiming that Krist Perawat, the actor who played Arthit, was homophobic. And it wasn't just one or two people saying it. It was dozens. Hundreds. That called for some research. I loved Arthit, and Krist's empathetic portrayal of him didn't mesh with the angry guy in the Instagram photo I was seeing passed around.

I'd made a number of queer Peraya fans on Twitter, so I went to them individually and asked, "What's this about Krist being homophobic?" As queer fans who were knowledgable and openly fond of Krist, I wanted to hear their side of things.

They sent me links and photos and videos and translations that thoroughly explained how Krist's reputation for being homophobic had gotten so out of control. The problem: those things weren't compiled in one place, and they were all on Twitter where the Asian Peraya fandom is most active. Interfans, meanwhile, took the worst of everything they could find and compiled it into contextless videos for Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, etc. Since the vast majority of Krist's fanbase is spread across Asia and many of them don't engage with the international fandom, it's no wonder to me that the homophobia thing has become so ubiquitous over the years.

It's a paradox where, in order to see the evidence of Krist's allyship, you kind of have to be a fan already. Or you have to know which keywords to use to navigate Twitter's nightmare of a search function (I know, Tumblr is worse). While I made that thread, I was regularly texting Peraya I knew things like, "Do you know where that one interview from 2019 is?" or, "Did you take a screenshot of the marriage equality post he made last month?"

The thread was difficult to make, and I'm a fan! What I know of Krist, I know because I've been a fan for three years and I have access to information that fans who have been here much longer can find.

I also procrastinated on making it for ages. I knew the amount of vitriol people hold against him, and I just wanted to enjoy my time in fandom quietly without calling waves of anger and hate to my carefully curated little corner of sunshine.

Then Krist was in a car accident.

And even though he was reportedly driving safely and slowly, Thailand is notorious for its poorly maintained roads and a high number of traffic accidents. Only months after receiving his first driver's license, Krist's car flipped upside down, and he had to reassure fans from the hospital that he was physically all right, just shaken.

Meanwhile, some international fans thought it was funny.

And that's when I started making the thread.

So, with all that said, let's start with Krist's allyship, because I know most of us agree that that's the bare minimum for an actor working in the BL industry and profiting off the queer community.

- Acts of Allyship -

In the early days of their SOTUS fame, Krist and Singto were interviewed about the LGBTQ+ community.

Acceptance and equality is something that the LGBTQ community still struggles to achieve up to this day. But both Singto and Krist believe that this should not be the case. “They are just humans. They are like me, and they are like everyone,” Krist claims. Furthermore, he mentions that we should all be given the freedom to love anyone we want to love. “It’s just natural,” he says.

“They don’t have to understand now,” Singto says, referring to those who can’t grasp same-sex relationships. “One day, when they find their true love, they will realize that love is the same no matter the gender.” Krist adds, “Gender is not relevant when it comes to love. But in case some people still don’t understand this in time, what’s important is that we all give due respect to each other at the end of the day.”

He's also educated himself in colors representative of the LGBTQ+ community.

When Krist and Singto attended an award ceremony for their photoshoot in the gay magazine Attitude, Krist shared a sentiment that he gave to a queer friend of his. "If no one accepts you, you can stay with me, because I accept you for who you are." [Paraphrased]

Despite Thailand's current government leaning on BL series as a new soft power, it's still very conservative, and its people are to this day fighting to see equal marriage recognized.

Krist often adds his voice to this fight on Instagram, specifically as someone who works in the BL industry. These were in 2021 and 2022:

And, like many young people in Thailand, Krist also seems to support the Move Forward party. Earlier this week, he used an orange heart in a tweet to encourage people to go out and vote in the most recent election. One of the many things the Move Forward party is pushing for is the legalization of same-sex marriage "with the same rights and responsibilities as their heterosexual peers", which the current military government actively does not.

- His Circle -

When I was making my Twitter thread, I hesitated before including mention of his queer friends and coworkers. I knew how that would sound, but in the same way I felt it was important to mention my own queerness, I also think it's important to highlight not just the presence of queer people in his life, but how comfortable they are with him.

As I said in my Twitter thread, having queer friends isn’t indicative of anything substantial, but I do think it’s important to look at how those queer friends interact with him. If you’re queer, you know firsthand which friends you’d be physically affectionate with. The entertainment industry is its own world, of course, and the weight and meaning of relationships and connections can be different, but for all Krist's fame and popularity, he's not so famous or remotely powerful that faking a friendship with him is going to get them very far.

Among his queer friends, you've got Jennie who babies him, Godji who treats him like her son, and Oat who still adores him years after SOTUS. All of them queer, all of them visibly affectionate in a way that feels authentic, at least to me.

On the professional side of things, I think the best example of someone who wouldn't bother with him if he were homophobic is Golf Tanwarin Sukkhapisit. In 2022, Krist worked on The War of Flowers with Golf, a nonbinary queer activist, former MP, and director of The Eclipse. Since they're not just a queer person in the industry but a vocal queer activist who's made incredible progress for the community in their country, I value their judgment of his character.

Again, the reason I bring up these people isn't to say, "Look! Queer people! He knows some!"

It's to point out that he's close to them, and it disrespects their judgment to casually assume that they’d cosy up to a homophobe.

It's a small point, yes, but it was important to me when I first became a fan to see that queer people who know him personally had "vetted" him.

- Growth -

For this next section, I'll address three things I see brought up most often: the rape filter joke, the rumor that Krist said he doesn't like watching men kiss, and the claim that he's only doing BL because rent is due.

1) The Rape Filter Joke

In 2017, Krist and Singto were on a live with (I think) two other friends. They were testing out different filters, and when they got to a blur effect, one of them (one of the friends, I think) said it looked like the filter they put over victims of sexual assault on the news. They all laughed, including Krist and Singto.

I can't find a video of the original event, but we do have a translation of the apology he gave in 2018, and the public apology he made in 2020 when the video resurfaced again.

While this is unfortunate, and it would be nice if he hadn’t done it, I’m more interested in how he responds to criticism and his growth afterward. The incident was in 2017, but even speaking on it in 2020, he didn't make excuses for himself.

He apologized, accepted culpability, educated himself, and has never repeated it.

2) Krist "Doesn't Like to Watch Men Kiss"

There's also a claim that goes around that Krist said he doesn't like to watch men kiss. But that isn't what he said.

The subtitled interview that this claim was taken from has been split into two parts, and I think a lot of people have only seen the first half, if they've seen either.

(Also, my deepest apologies, but I'm linking you to Twitter for the video clips.)

In the first clip, the hosts tease Krist about Singto's sex scene with another actor in Close Friends. I can't speak to the nuances of what Krist is saying in Thai, but in the subtitles, he's basically saying that as a guy, he doesn't want to watch stuff like that and just skips past Singto and his partner to one of the other couples, like the male-female pairs. With just this clip, I agree that it doesn't sound great.

But in the second clip, the hosts tease Krist until he admits that the "stuff" he doesn't want to watch is Singto specifically kissing people who aren't him. Krist's jealousy, especially when it comes to Singto, is a well-trod fanservice joke.

3) He's Doing BL Only for the Money

I mean, I have no idea, but it'd be very weird if this was true, because he hasn't been in a BL since 2018 (if you count Our Skyy), and he's doing very well for himself financially.

Listen, this is probably the least serious people get when they criticize him, but I'm including it because why not, this is already a thesis.

From what I understand based on actors' comments, BL roles don't make a lot of money for the actors. (Boun even quoted a surprisingly low daily salary recently, and I'll share it here if I find it again.) Of course, I imagine Krist has enough fame and clout that he gets paid more than most actors, but to be frank, he absolutely makes more from all his other work.

Apart from the acting work he's done, he hosts two music shows, he starred in a musical recently, GMM just flew him to Japan for the first leg of his Asia concert tour, he runs a restaurant with Wave, and he has a bunch of sponsorships. And that's off the top of my head. The car from his accident in 2021 was a luxury model, and he replaced it with another pretty soon afterward. I'm not bragging for him or anything, but the "he's just doing BL for the money" is an odd thing to say when he probably already earns more than most without doing it.

It would have been a better argument back in 2016 when Krist's family was deep in debt. Krist's said that his main motivation to join the entertainment industry back then was to pay off that debt for his family, and he did so with the money he made from SOTUS.

Krist has spoken in the past about wanting to do more BL roles, but GMM preferred that he work with Singto. Now that Singto's left GMM (likely to start his own agency), Krist is in Be My Favorite, so I think his explanation tracks.

It's also worth mentioning that you can do something for the money and also love what you do. In the case of SOTUS, Arthit wasn't just a role that made him money, he's the character who changed Krist's life. He honors Arthit to this day by always wearing the bracelet he wore to his audition and by naming his music studio "SUN St." after Arthit.

(This is a very minor point, but I don't think a homophobe would cherish a queer role to quite that extent even if it was their kick-off point. If anything, they'd probably try to bury the role and pretend their real success started later.)

- Perception of Sexuality -

I think the reason the IG story hits people so hard is because Krist's reaction makes it seem like he's horrified that people could even think he's gay. My understanding is that he was tired of people interrogating him about his sexuality.

Krist is very openly affectionate with the people he loves, regardless of gender, which is clear in the photos with his friends above. Thus, he's always been like that with Singto. They hug before every show, they sleep on each other, cuddle, what have you. All the stuff of people who have developed a tight bond over the years.

When Krist was asked if he was afraid that that would put off potential partners in the future (which, good god, the questions they're asked) Krist said he doesn't care how people perceive his sexuality.

This was in 2018, the year Our Skyy aired, and he's said similar things in passing before and since.

- Conclusion -

All of what I've posted here is just a slice of what's out there. This is just the stuff I could find with reliable English translations because I'm making this for an English-speaking audience. Krist's fans already know all of this, which is why he has queer fans in the first place, and a lot of them are just too tired by hate fatigue to keep correcting misinformation.

I'm not trying to get every person in the world to like Krist, I promise. He's not perfect. He's a loud mess, and while he has four cats who love him, they're also exhausted by him. I just happen to like loud, obnoxious people, especially when they're as kind as he is.

There are plenty of Thai actors I don't vibe with for any number of reasons ranging from serious to petty. You have my written permission to dislike some people.

The Instagram story he posted was a bad move, we're all agreed. He agrees. He's apologized multiple times over the years. Whether one accepts his apologies is each person’s right, and I understand if this is enough to turn people away.

I just hope it's clear that he's been a staunch ally of the queer community and remains so to this day.

Personally, I'm more upset about the question.

This isn't a question you ask anyone.

And this wasn't the first fan to ask him.

According to people who have been fans from the SOTUS era, Krist and Singto were both relentlessly dogged by fans about 1) their sexualities and 2) details about their relationship with each other. We've all likely seen it happen to actors today, but back in 2016, there weren't hundreds of BL actors vying for the spotlight, so the spotlight hit Krist and Singto in a way that we can't imagine today. Most of us, myself included, arrived in this fandom long after SOTUS's meteoric rise to popularity that ended up saving GMMTV from bankruptcy, but given how many fans still behave like they're entitled to know an actor's sexuality, I think it's safe to trust that it was relentless. Fans accusing Kit Connor of "queerbaiting" as recently as 2022 is proof of that.

At the end of the day, there are plenty of reasons to dislike Krist, just like there are to dislike any person on this planet. He's hyperactive, he's whiny, etc. He's not flawless, but I think he's more than shown through his actions that he isn't homophobic, either.

He's not some actor playing queer roles for clout. He's vocally supportive of queer rights, and he backed that up this week in the polls by voting for the most progressive party in his country who are actively pushing for marriage equality.

But like I said, you don't have to like him, so I'll end this post with a quote from a friend who doesn't like Krist for the funniest reason I've ever heard:

"I don't think Krist is homophobic. I just don't like him because he reminds me of every kindergartener who demanded my attention at the exact moment when I was carrying something that could spill – and then it did spill, and they laughed about it for five minutes."

#krist perawat #be my favorite #if you made it to the end then i love you #thai actor #thai bl

[sophieinwonderland]

Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?

I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.

Makes a girl feel special! 🤣

I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.

Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:

I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.

And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:

Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Echo chamber? LOL!

Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?

Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?

You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.

Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.

There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.

Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊

Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.

In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.

78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.

There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.

If it's not for you, then so be it.

But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.

And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.

This is actually pretty fair.

But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.

300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.

70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.

30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.

8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.

Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.

Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.

BOO! 👻

Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!

Liberté!

Egalité!

Fraternité!

And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜

#syscourse #plural #plurality #pro endo #pro endogenic #endogenic #systems #multiplicity #plural system #endogenic system #system stuff #plural community #systemscringe #fake disorder cringe #r/systemscringe #sysblr #system things #actually plural #actually a system #the future is plural #I dare you to post this to your hate subs! 😝

[kiefbowl]

hi, can i ask for advice? i think my little sister is in an abusive relationship :( she told me how a couple months back she and him were in a hotel room, he was drunk and in an argument and he beat her. shes in another town an hour away, so i rarely see her, she visits on some weekends but theyre always short visits, because i recently learned her boyfriend gets mad when she doesn't come back at a specific time. is there anyway i can help her? she depends on him for a home btw, she has no job and nowhere else to go

Yes, she is. Even if it was only once in your sister's eyes, it's possible she's hand-waving other "smaller" instances of abuse, and the abuse will escalate. You don't "accidentally" beat someone. You don't hit the people you love.

There are things you can do and things you shouldn't do. You must be patient, and you must respect her choices. This can be hard when you're watching someone you love get hurt, but please understand that her abuser has her ear far often than you do. If you condescend, demand, make ultimatums, try to forcefully intervene - you could end up with a severed relationship and no way to help her. You have to be the opposite of her abuser: kind, thoughtful, patient, slow to anger, understanding, willing to speak to truth, and above all respectful.

The fact that you still get to see her is very good. When you next see her, try to have a conversation around the abuse, but as best you can try to frame it like this: "After what you told me about what happened to you, I'm very worried about you. I'm always available to help you if you need any help." Having resources at the ready to hand to her is also good, but don't force her to take anything she doesn't want. These can be things like books, business cards for shelters, hotline numbers, etc. Again, you can't force her to take anything - respect her choices. She may want them but be nervous having them on her, and she might struggle to articulate that. If she knows you have them, she can ask for them later when she's ready.

When she talks about this or her boyfriend in general, do not correct her on anything. If she says "he loves me" don't say "no he doesn't." It is better to ask "can you love someone and hit them?" If she says "he's the only person who has my back" don't say "no he doesn't." Don't huff and say "what about me." Instead, it's better to say "I will always be here for you, no matter what." You have to be very thoughtful and considerate when you speak to her. Double-triple think what you're going to say before you say it. It's important that she sees you as someone who is willing to listen, someone who trusts her and believes her.

You can also use resources like hotlines. You can also read the books. It can never be stated enough how helpful the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancraft is to both the abused and the people who love them. Read the book, it can give you guidance.

Good luck, sis. I hope you're sister can find peace and happiness.

[sarucane]

Why didn't Ed always protect Stede?

I'm a bit late to the party and only really got into OFMD with S2, so I've started watching S1 really thoroughly only recently. And I've noticed that there's this narrative in the fandom that Ed and Stede are super protective of each other, particularly Ed--but as I've gone through S1 (number redacted) times, it's been driving me nuts how much Ed doesn't protect Stede.

Sure, there's the meme we all love when Ed stands in front of the firing squad--but for most of the scene before that, he's been standing and watching Stede beg for his life. He's upset, but he doesn't intervene until it's nearly do late. And before that, Ed doesn't say or do a thing about Calico Jack treating Stede like shit--sure it's believable that he just doesn't notice the passive aggression, but not even catching the "Steve" thing? That's something that isn't even intervening, Jack could be making an honest mistake. But the thing no-protection moment that's really driven me nuts is this moment

In the scene before this, Ed and Stede have just had an incredibly emotionally intimate conversation. Ed is clearly at least half in love with Stede at this point. This is a relationship that means something important to him, this is a person he cares for deeply. And…and Izzy almost murdered Stede in front of him, because of him, and he just looked away.

But at the same time, Ed does love Stede, he does intervene to protect him from the English--at great personal risk and cost. By the end of S2 Ed's much better about this kind of thing (though I'd argue he's never as super-protective as I've seen suggested).

So what was going on here? Ed's a total softie inside, especially with Stede, so why was he like this?

And I've got a theory! Here goes:

Mr. "greatest pirate who ever lived" is, in fact, an overachieving rule-follower (cough teacher's pet cough).

Ed doesn't intervene to help Stede because Ed conforms himself to the rules set by whoever has the strongest personality in a room, or whatever "code" is being pushed on him/is easiest to follow.

I think this is part of why Ed often struggles to identify what he wants, or hold onto a firm sense of his self-identity. And I think it's a lot of why he's so attracted to Stede, and why that relationship is so important to his development: Ed is much less likely to follow the rules when he's one-on-one with someone, and spending a lot of time alone with Stede gives him much more mental space to understand what he wants.

And just like Stede is most successful when he doesn't try to follow the traditional rules of pirating, Ed is most successful--in his relationship with Stede and outside it--when he doesn't obsess over bending to the rules, and instead picks and chooses which ones to follow and which ones to discard.

I have a partly-written super-long version of this where I go episode by episode looking at how the rules theme works with Ed's character mechanics, but I'm just going to focus on the topic question here (I might get around to posting the long version, but I also might be distracted by something shiny;) )

So let's start with The Art of Fuckery and the thing that was driving me crazy.

Ed's core conflict in this episode was whether he'd going to send Stede to "doggy heaven." Why would he follow Stede to doggy heaven? Because according to Izzy, Stede is categorized as a pet, and Ed has "a policy regarding pets aboard your vessel." It's a rule. Ed has to follow it.

And Ed fully intends to follow it, right up until the kraken turns up and the rules go out the window. And then he's in a safe space with Stede, drowning in memory of the good rules he broke (don't kill people you love). But Stede rejects the idea that Ed breaking that rule makes him a bad person. He appeals, instead, to friendship. And offers his own rule: that they could pretend the murder thing never happened.

Because that's the amazing thing about Stede: he lives at the intersection of aristocratic and pirate rules (which isn't supposed to exist, and which drew Ed to him), and he makes up his own rules.

When Ed's with Stede, he can follow different rules, unlike anything he'd imagined. Can even sometimes make up his own rules. Can actually pay attention to himself, think about what he wants, what he likes and fears.

But when Ed's in a crowd, or alone with someone trying to impose something on him, he conforms. So when Izzy invokes Pirate Rules and steamrolls Ed ("no you're not doing this,") Ed lets him.

It's a character flaw, and it's a serious one...but it's also one Ed works on when he stops complaining about the treasure hunt business. And when he and Stede discuss the idea of co-captains, and arrangement that would break the rule that "a ship has only one captain."

Which Ed is able to do because he's in a safe space. Calico Jack disrupts that, and introduces a succession of games with clearly defined rules, which Ed follows one after another. And Ed has so little self-awareness, is so easily swamped by Jack's personality, that he doesn't notice how Jack's treating Stede, let alone defend him, and he bows to every hint of pressure.

And all that culminates in Ed having to make a decision: follow pirate rules, where everyone's just at "various stages of screwing each other over," or do what he wants. Go help his friend, the guy he loves.

Which just ends up with him being absorbed right back into the pirate system of rules. He tries to use this at first, faking a confession on the grounds that he's a "life is cheap sort of guy." But Izzy's outsmarted him, and Izzy invokes pirate rules again: that Ed told him the rule for a first mate was "above all loyalty to your captain."

Ed doesn't call out for the Act of Grace until the last minute. He could have done it at the trial--he didn't. This is a hard thing for him to do, because he's surrounded by rule-following pressure, from Izzy and from Chauncy. The last time he was in a situation like this, Ed just looked away and let Stede die (he thought).

But the thing about Ed is that he's "half insane." For years, he used the combo of being considered "mad" and also having Izzy around to have his cake and eat it too with rules, to be the world's greatest pirate and also hang onto his own authentic self.

As a result, Ed got good at finding loopholes. Places where you can follow the rules and break them, at the same time. Getting run through, but in a place that missed "all the important bits." Being sentenced to death, but asking for an Act of Grace.

It's a big deal when Ed steps in front of Stede like that. He's acting against pirate rules, risking being absorbed by the rules set by the English.

He does it for Stede--and that starts to set him free. After that, Ed's never just following the rules again. He actually can't, even when he tries: his going kraken at the end of S1 and start of S2 is doomed from the start and full of contradictions, starting with the fact that he's on Stede's ship, the ship with hidden passages where rule-breaking can be hidden until it's needed.

Ed struggles a lot to figure out which rules to follow ("I will abide by the guidelines"), which rules to set aside ("Can we take it slow?"), when to make up his own rules ("So we're innkeepers now."). And Stede helps him, telling him things like "This can be whatever we want it to be," and "you're not a dick, life's a dick."

I don't really have a clever conclusion to this particular meta. It's a messy thing, and individual figuring out how to their life does and does not intersect with society. This theme doesn't resolve neatly, it just stops at the end of the season, like the tension between Ed/kraken/Blackbeard.

But there's a lot of hope here, I think. When Ed acts to protect Stede, and to fight alongside him, he's not just being a protective partner. It's a learned action, the physical manifestation of a decision Ed's made about who he wants to be in the world. Rules be damned.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #ed teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #izzy hands #gentlebeard #i swear there really is a much longer version of this this theme is hella iceberg #every single episode has references to rules guys this is A THEME running straight through EVERYTHING and i'm a moron for missing its size

[purplenidoqueen]

not to mention tme/tma is no fucking gender binary, the groups “transfems” and “non transfems; cis men, cis women, trans men, some nonbinary people, etc” is not a binary at all. if you don’t know what the terms mean or aren’t experienced with transfeminism, that’s fine, but don’t act like i hate men because you misunderstood my feminism.

The reblog that garnered these messages can be found here, and part one is here. Sorry if the tone was too sharp; I'm not super comfy playing defense for those who aren't here to defend themselves, but I'm sure as heck willing to do my best. I'd explained at the end of the post that garnered these responses that I am also a trans woman, but I don't mind that you missed it; I just feel that said experience is something to keep in mind.

Since this was split into two messages I'll have to respond in two parts, so bear with me. While I don't have much of an audience, it's important to me to head this off, so I'd appreciate it if anyone who reads this and agrees with my stances here also walks away with the message of patience and solidarity, and doesn't send messages her way for whatever reason. This isn't a callout and I don't believe in callouts; this is just how the inbox function works.

Anyway! Second:

"If you don't know what the terms mean"… I understand that some find comfort in the terms, but "transmisogyny exempt" and "transmisogyny affected" are years old and have gone through a number of phases. While they were well-intentioned at first, TMA and TME swiftly changed from inclusive terms to exclusive ones, used not only by trans women to exclude others from our struggle, but by others to exclude us from their own struggles. In many ways they are bullshit terms adopted and adapted by terfs and their allies, and when I say they are used to reinforce the gender binary, I mean it. They've been used at length to pit trans men, trans mascs, and AFAB nonbinary folk against us in an attempt to make detransition look more practical.

As for whether TMA/TME has any weight: Do you understand how many cis women have been hurt by transmisogyny? You can find stories about women ranging from Michelle Obama and Lady Gaga to Marie MacGowan, an eighty-six-year-old Irish cis woman with dementia who was assaulted and beaten by a transphobe for over forty minutes straight. Even men and mascs, cis or trans, can be hit by forms of transmisogyny if they don't meet the standards of masculinity to which society holds them! Trans men are routinely mistaken to be trans women and attacked by people who misunderstand the situation because only trans women have the spotlight in this patriarchal society! That's not to mention the complexities of growing up intersex, whether or not their lives were changed without their consent by "corrective" surgeries as infants. The binary of "affected" or "exempt" is too tidy to have much use. Fear-based hatred is too complicated.

Transmisogyny is a form of transphobia, which is at its root a form of homophobia, and we have to understand that segregating each other's experiences into exclusionary groups rather than inclusive ones is incredibly unproductive -- and exactly what the terfs, traditionalists, and other fascists are trying to enforce.

On the subject of transphobia as a whole vs transmisogyny, I was trying not to bring this up, but it's the only way I can think of to boil down my point in a way that matters. This is the post that convinced me to respond, in the hopes of sharing some thoughts and perspective.

Okay. This is important for one main reason: Why do you think it would be bizarre or noteworthy for trans men to react negatively to this tweet? I get the point of it, but it's phrased so poorly. Surely you can understand -- maybe you've experienced for yourself -- the feeling that arises when you try to live your happiest life as your chosen gender, only for terfs and their allies to say "You only feel like a X because you're a failed Y." Where does that stem from? Where does it lead? "Trans women are just men who are super gay." "Trans men are just women trying to climb the patriarchal ladder." It's disgusting! Maybe that's not a perspective that occurred to you in the moment, but that's why queer folk from all corners of the community should communicate our experiences to each other, isn't it? If your feminism includes seeing trans men "react bizarrely" to something you didn't understand, and giving them the squinty eyes instead of asking why, then it can't truly be feminism, because it can't truly be about equality.

This whole TME/TMA thing reminds me of the transmedicalist discourse, or of a decade ago when in some circles you weren't considered trans enough and "made the rest of us look bad" if you couldn't, or didn't care to, pass. Butch transfems, a cornerstone of the culture, used to get run out of social groups for being "fake women". It's all about finding the weakest link and cutting them out, over and over until the solidarity of a cohesive queer community becomes a more manageable series of dogpiles against smaller and smaller fragments of GSR minorities. Fuck that. None of us is worth sacrificing, not ace nor kinky nor enby nor queer.

It's been a long pair of long responses. Sorry for the wait, and for the attention. In any case, to boil my thoughts down in the least productive way possible:

"Individually we are weak like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty faggot!"

#inclusivity #intersectional feminism #transgender #trans pride #transphobia #transmisogyny #tma #tme

[bonnieisaway]

anyways while I was editing earlier we have almost a precise ranking of power for the shadow killers despite most of them not actually ever saying/their official ranking never been mentioned. and most of this is either just mentioned in passing or can be guessed from the way the show presents them. up to season 4 spoilers ahead btw

so like, obviously Seven (in his prime, at least - do you think the second spot ever took his when he disappeared btw? like do you think there was a time where he was just labelled missing for ages before somebody else became number one?) was rank number one, it's said and talked about like a million times, Seven was conclusively the highest ranked and most powerful shadow killer by 18 years old.

along with this we hear one other thing: Green Phoenix is mentioned to be the (physically) weakest Shadow Killer. given how much people are sticklers for the rankings we can presume this puts him at the lowest of the seven, even if he chose to appear weaker than he is and his focus is majorly on cunning and wit rather than martial prowess, I assume this is where he's offically ranked honestly

everyone else has never had their number mentioned - or if it was said in some obscure place i don't know it's not on the wiki, but let's be fucking for real nothing is on the wiki seriously one of us might wanna update that thing one day anyways - but I believe we can roughly guess where the rest of the killers rank given by their actions in the show and the order which the show presents them.

which - this might be a controversial one tbh - puts Redtooth fairly low on the list. he is physically more powerful than Green Phoenix, but Green Phoenix is able to outwit Redtooth twice, and Green Phoenix is technically the one who kills Redtooth. But also, Seven at fairly low strength was able to fight Redtooth and almost won on his own. Redtooth is also mentioned in season 4 that naturally, he was physically weak and actually struggled with picking up qi and such - he does not have a natural nor honed talent and his power ENTIRELY relies on the Blood Demon inside him. So he's easily outwitted, he's physically weak without the Blood Demon which, up until season 4 was still restrained heavily, Seven is able to handle him all the way back in season two. Notably, Dai Bo and the rest of the cast are unable to handle him however, even though most of them are built to handle aggressive opponents liked Redtooth.

But it's mainly the fact he appears and is 'defeated' so early in the show that makes me truly believe he ranks so low. Obviously we probably haven't seen the full capabilities of Redtooth and most of the cast however, and this is a ranking with the seal. Obviously he seems to be set up to absolutely rock White Fox's shit in season 5, but it's still really important to keep in mind that this is purely the Blood Demon.

after him the other shadow killer we have the most information on is Blackbird, who Seven ultimately beat into the fuckin ground but boy did we sure almost die getting there!!

So from what we know about Blackbird, from season three, is that unlike Redtooth, he is physically strong, and similar to Green Phoenix he's largely driven by his trauma and his need to validate something that's missing within him, but his weakness seems to really only be his own ego - his weakness (aside from the sun like a fucking vampire. cringelord) is when he can't win, when he is struggling, his frustration is ultimately his downfall. This is one of - if not the only - few fights where 'prime' Seven - or even just Seven as he is now - does not appear to be physically stronger than somebody, and he's actually just barely faster than Blackbird (being able to fucking FLY he's still got a bit of an advantage but Seven's reaction time is evidently quicker, and Blackbird comments that Seven's ambushes and speed used to be infamous - a prowess that Blackbird is almost capable to keep up with) but he wins the fight with wit and outsmarting them. And ultimately, Blackbird's weakness was himself.

Which is a lot to say he's really strong. But it's hard to place him anywhere on the leaderboard without a key thing that Manjusaka says:

"It seems you're the best after all," as she turns to Blackbird. This is (presumably) the direct translation, because in English Manjusaka actually says something different that I wanna touch on again later, but she turns to Blackbird and says he's the best after all. Which would imply: Blackbird took the spot for number one when Seven was missing. Blackbird had been second to Seven in the league - and some of his contempt for Seven may be because of that. This conclusively puts Blackbird in the number two spot for me.

The next three we have even less information on, so it's really hard to put them in precise spots. As for Manjusaka though we have this: she is very cunning and manipulative, and the other Shadow Killer we know to be infamous for their cunning and wit was the lowest ranked - because the ranks seem to have FAR more value in raw martial prowess and strength than wit. Along with this, Manjusaka never actually works alone. In English in season 3, when she turns to Blackbird, she says "I guess we're just better together," which puts a lot of emphasis on her working with somebody, and emphasis on the fact that she's USING the fact that Blackbird is so high rank so that she can be powerful by proxy. She's also the only one who seems to defend her other Shadow Killers - though they aren't immune to her own scrutiny, Manjusaka outright kills three people for shit-talking Redtooth.

Along with this - Manjusaka dies to Green Phoenix (coughprobablycough) and leaves her as an opponent Seven will never (probably) fight. The Shadow Killers have kept appearing in an order of higher and higher ranking, and Manjusaka is the third to ever appear, and of the three, ALL THREE have died and one came back. Just like, the order these characters have appeared in, they usually appear in increasing power and every season has ended with Seven fighting or about to fight a new, powerful Shadow Killer. Manjusaka dying already leaves her feeling fairly low ranked, given the pattern the show has exhibited.

Manjusaka is also tied to Shimen and are inseparable - what Shimen and Manjusaka lack the other make up for. Shimen appears slow yet viciously strong and stone faced, he's nothing but muscle and qi, and Manjusaka is fast and stealthy - she teleports around, she uses deception and poisons to best her enemies. They're also hardly ever depicted apart. They're only separated twice - when Shimen leaves the fight with Blackbird due to general disinterest, and when Shimen and Manjusaka split up in season 4.

(these two symbols fading into each other feel like they represent Manjusaka and Shimen)

They're constantly depicted together and fluently work together. They coordinate easily when that's not the normal for the Shadow Killers - infighting is banned and that's it, they aren't required to get along. But these two are two inseparable halves of one whole, they are both arguably strong on their own but they have glaring weaknesses that the other fills. Their weaknesses, to a point, are when they're separated. This also would seemingly put them next to each other on the ranking - together it feels like they make up one, unstoppable person, and it makes sense that separately they are at similar ranking/strength, just simply excel together, and weaker rankings would be the most likely to bond together to form stronger ones.

Not to mention, Manjusaka dies on screen at the end of the season four and that's it, and Shimen's fate is left entirely unknown because he doesn't appear again and only the leader approaches Green Phoenix. But during the opening for the entire season we see one shot of Shimen we never actually see during the season:

Shimen left alone and unconscious without Manjusaka. And he leaves the Blackbird fight unharmed, he obviously leaves the encounter with Ouyang Zang (is that his name ? straight up might've misspelled it sorry ) alive because he appears again afterwards, and it seems to imply that without Manjusaka, Shimen is left weak and vulnerable. So these two, to me, feel like they're exactly next to each other on the rankings - and possibly ranked somewhere in the middle

Which now only leaves White Fox, who we know the least about personality wise but we've seen some of his martial abilities (AKA: hey guys I can make a nitrogen bomb from my finger. wanna see) and watched him fight the prince of Stan, which does lead to the conclusion that he is fairly powerful, though it seems it's not really physical strength but his qi, speed, and reflexes that let him overpower his opponents. Given the rankings I've given the other Shadow Killers it naturally leaves him at a semi-high spot.

Which leaves me with my final (guesstimated) ranking of the Shadow Killers, with Seven during his prime, Redtooth's seal still not broken:

Seven

Blackbird

White Fox

Shimen

Manjusaka

Redtooth

Green Phoenix

Shimen and Manjusaka feel interchangeable in their spots, honestly? And I would almost put Redtooth above Manjusaka ...? But it kind of feels natural that he's below her. Also, I went back and skimmed the show to see if anybody else was introduced by ranking, given that a lot of people in the show had been previously, and I only found these scenes:

Which are all only labelled 'the seven greats' according to the translation, unless somebody here speaks Chinese and their rankings are actually said/implied in the Chinese characters and Netflix just didn't translate it which wouldn't even surprise me honestly Netflix just fucking does that sometimes

so yea 👍 that's my estimation on the rankings of the Shadow Killers maybe the show will prove me right eventually. this post took me like 2 hours to make. help

#scissor seven #killer seven #wu liuqi #seven #scissor 7 #analysis #manjusaka #blackbird #white fox #green phoenix #shimen #redtooth #bonnie is once again going stir crazy without content #absolutely nobody is surprised #honestly the rankings feel kind of weird #i supposed they're based only off kills or something similar.. ? #or maybe it's because we haven't seen the full potential of a lot of characters #but majusaka lowkey feels like she should be SO much lower #and shimen should be SO much higher #and i dont even know how redtooth truly is a shadow killer. i'm thinking the last one before redtooth called in sick /j #i mean they are all undoubtedly insanely powerful #i think just analyzing their combat and how theyre talked about for #the past 2 hours of my life has mentally isolated me from the fact that these are the 7 best in the world

[inthecards]

In the Cards - Chapter 5 Release

In the Cards is a WIP interactive fiction where you play a budding psychic learning how to use your powers. There are currently five chapters released, totaling approximately 147k words.

After receiving your grandmother's tarot deck, you start seeing hints that not all is right in the world of the spirits and fae... and you're about to be caught up in the storm that's brewing.

You've always had psychic powers. Reading auras, speaking with the dead, and channeling spiritual energy through runes - these number just a few of the things you're capable of. It's not an unusual gift in the kingdom of Khepris, though it's uncommon enough that you've only met a few other people with such abilities in your small hometown.

After a plague sweeps through the kingdom, unrest bubbles up in the realm known as the Beyond, home to fae and spirits alike. A group of fae who call themselves the Butterfly Court are testing the boundaries between your worlds, and they don't seem to care what harm they may be causing along the way.

With a deck of tarot cards imbued with mystical powers in your possession, you're pulled into the struggle against the Butterfly Court. You must join one of two organizations - the King's Guardians or the Hounds - in order to fight back against this mysterious court… or risk losing everything.

Select your own gender and sexual orientation

Befriend or romance one of four characters

Specialize in different psychic skills: intuition, mediation, or concentration

Perform castings - the human version of magic - to subtly influence the world around you

Collect tarot cards and consult with spirits

Uncover a hidden plot that threatens the border between your world and the Beyond

Investigate the Butterfly Court by joining either the King's Guardians, an elite guard loyal to the royal family, or the Hounds, an alliance of fae and humans alike

Although romance is not the main focus, I enjoy a good love story as much as anyone. The main character is 16-17 for most of the story, so the romance won't go beyond PG-13. If you're not interested in romance, no worries - it's not an essential part of the story.

Since these characters won't make an official appearance until a few chapters on, I'll only post their names and tagline for now:

Deigan, the Stalwart Squire (m)

Deigan is the sort to only speak when he has something to say, and being taller than most, tends to strike an intimidating figure. In reality, though, he is quite kind and considerate, and believes in using his natural talents for the sake of the kingdom.

Odissa, the Sharp-Witted Sage (f)

Odissa is a firecracker with a wit as sharp as a knife and twice as dry. Despite specializing in runes and sigils, she's not the type to hole up inside and drown in text. She has ambitions to become the city's most in-demand sage and the drive to make it happen.

Rekai/Reika, the Free-Hearted Fae (m/f)

R is young for a fae and enthralled with the human world. They enjoy traveling to different places and partaking in local cultures, particularly food and dance. They can get along with pretty much anyone and like to make friends wherever they go - but of course, that doesn't mean they haven't made a few enemies, as well.

Niran/Nira, the Gentle Acolyte (m/f)

Kind-hearted and patient, N tends to be shy, especially when meeting new people, but can be quite talkative once they feel more comfortable. They believe strongly in using their gifts to help other people. When you first meet N, they're studying to become an acolyte and later a priest of the World Temple in Tepar.

This game is rated roughly PG or PG-13 - some violence, topics around death (you're a psychic who can talk to the dead, after all), and other adult themes.

The demo can be found at Dashingdon. You can also check out the thread at the Choice of Games forum if you want to send me a message there.

Also, if you enjoy it, please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi.

#interactive novel #tarot #choice of games #if wip #choicescript #cyoa #if game #interactive fiction

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Handwriting Analysis

Hello everyone! I decided to take a look at the canonical handwriting of the various characters in DRDT. We've actually seen a good number of handwritings and it definitely seems like they are specifically written differently, so it's a fun new dimension of the characters we can look at. I've done my best to compile all of them in this post, but please let me know if I've missed any!

I'll be going in order of when we first see them, starting with:

Arei Nageishi!

Arei is our first handwriting reveal, which we know because she wrote the arm wrestling contest board in Chapter 1, Episode 2! She seems to write in all caps and has a slightly curvy style.

Min Jeung!

Whoops, murder time. Min's handwriting is seen on the "OUT OF ORDER" sign. We don't know it's hers when we first see it, but in the trial, it's revealed that she must have written it.

As far as I remember, we don't have another sample of her handwriting, which is unfortunate, given that I believe this is probably not what her real handwriting looks like. She's clearly printing in very straight lines; it's probably meant to look official. If it looked handwritten, it would lower the credibility of the out of order sign.

I also tried to see if you could tell what any handwriting looked like from the papers on the table in the Bonus Episode she's in, but I didn't manage to pick anything out that was actually legible. So, I guess we don't really know what Min's handwriting would normally look like.

Xander Matthews!

Xander wrote "Charles Cuevas' Motive" on this DVD, but a lot of it got smudged off when he planted it in the CD reader (god I hope I got it right I'm sorry Charles I'm trying to remember which is which).

He seems to use all caps. It's also not the neatest, given that the two Cs run into each other despite being on different lines.

Notably, there is a more filled-out version.

However, the red text isn't written by Xander himself, because he's dead at the time. As best I can figure, this is Teruko writing in an impression of Xander's handwriting. The image of the CD appears as Teruko says, "Hm, are you talking about this?" implying she's the one carrying it, and the rest of the writing is filled in when she says so. It might seem like it would be Rose, given that she's the one who figures out what it's supposed to say, but Rose instructs someone else to rotate it, so it can be assumed Rose isn't holding it. Teruko is the one to take the DVD out of the player at the end of investigation, so I'd really assume it's her.

...HOWEVER!

We actually have a specific example of Teruko replicating Xander's handwriting! She smudges it during investigation and re-writes it on. It seems to me like the creator went back to the original version of the CD in the trial (the little ink blot at the left of the O matches better with the first of the two images here, imo). I doubt there was much internal consistency given to how Teruko writes Xander's handwriting when trying to replicate it on this CD, but...

Teruko Tawaki!

Teruko's handwriting is bad-bad. It's very shaky and she struggles with letters. The O and C (as she thinks she's writing) that she replicates back on the CD have some more of the shakiness that this handwriting has, which implies to me that the creator knew at the point of the Chapter 1 murder that Teruko's handwriting wasn't smooth. The replication of Xander's handwriting in red back in Xander's section looks smoother than I think Teruko's would, which might be points towards someone else having written it. No clue who, though.

Notably for Teruko, I honestly wonder if she's meant to have dysgraphia? I don't know a ton about it, but it's a learning disability that makes it much harder for people with the condition to handwrite clearly. Just an interesting sidenote, if anyone with dysgraphia knows more/if this is wrong to say in some way, please let me know!

Charles Cuevas!

Back on track, I skipped ahead with Teruko to put hers next to Xander's. We don't technically have confirmation that this is Charles' handwriting, but it's very very heavily implied. It's written in cursive, which Whit says Charles writes in in the Chapter 2 trial.

This also implies that Whit has seen Charles' handwriting, which could add more to imply that this is his, but considering Charles has evidently seen Whit's (more in a sec), I don't think that means much.

Plus, as a fun note, Charles' custom weapon is the only one that isn't listed on the above handwriting sample. This is the biggest factor in me believing that it's Charles'. (Plus, I think Whit says something about getting it from a friend? I'm not reopening the episode sorry gang)

Whit Young?

Wait, where's the handwriting?

Well, as far as I remember, we haven't actually seen Whit's handwriting. We know from Charles that he dots his Is with hearts, but that's all we got. Sorry gang.

Eden Tobisa!

Eden literally gave us a handwriting sample. Thanks!

It's pretty cute! She has a curvier handwriting style with some irregular spacing, which I think gives it nice charm and character.

The Chapter 2 Killer??? (or accomplice)

Idk man! It seems like it has to relate to someone who's at least somewhat guilty in this whole thing, right?

I've written briefly about why I believe this is Levi's handwriting on @1moreff-creator's Levi accomplice theory post, but that would totally work for the popular theory that he's the killer, too. Either way, it's a handwriting sample.

Bonus!

NO WIFI! WHY LIVE :(

I have no idea who wrote this. From what I can tell, it might've been here when the cast got there...? The weird thing is that it changes.

Shoutout to @accirax for remembering that the white board changed, because I did NOT notice/remember. However, that begs the question...

WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS???

It's very possibly Veronika, as she's the one who's noted to, like, know and remember what Monokuma looks like. If so, that means we have a Veronika handwriting sample, yay! I really don't know who else would be drawing Monokumas. Maybe the mastermind...?

And that's all! Clearly there's no point to this post and I can wrap this-

Haha. You didn't think I actually made a post that doesn't have a theory to it, did you?

This has all been building up to me trying to figure out who the hell wrote this note. Because, I originally believed it made the most sense if it was a note that Xander wrote to himself, but accirax pointed out that we've seen Xander's handwriting, and it looks different. Then, I started noticing that we've been receiving various handwritings. Like, a LOT of handwritings.

I think that it's plenty likely that we're going to receive EVERYONE'S handwriting at some point throughout this series. Notably, all characters who have died thus far (Xander, Min, Arei, Chapter 2 Killer Even Though We Don't Know Who They Are) have already shown us their handwriting. This is probably because we're going to figure out who wrote this note at some point.

Does that mean everyone whose handwriting we've already seen thus far is safe? Maybe! I've gone through and talked about Xander, Arei, Eden, Charles and Teruko's with confidence. From what we know of Min's and Whit's, it doesn't seem like it's theirs, but I'd believe for either of them that it could be theirs if the devs wanted to pull a fast one on us (Whit could just... not write with hearts on the Is for this one. Min was replicating printed text).

I guess that means I'm saying that the most likely authors of the "Kill Teruko Tawaki" note are Mai Akasaki Ace, Rose, Hu, Arturo, Veronika, J or Nico, with Min, Whit and Levi also being possibilities that I just don't believe as strongly. I do want to note that, if Rose IS the one who wrote it, she could also easily be replicating someone else's handwriting. Ultimate Art Forger moment.

Conclusion

I compiled this image of all the handwriting I talked about with the purple being known handwriting and the gray being unknown.

I think it's really cool that the dev put time into giving each of the characters unique handwriting, and I think it's definitely a piece of evidence to keep in mind when theorizing about masterminds and killers and such.

Hopefully this was a fun read! I look forward to possibly figuring out the handwritings of literally every other character someday.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #fanganronpa #theory #drdt theory #long post #arei nageishi #min jeung #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #charles cuevas #whit young #eden tobisa #this took longer than i expected ngl #sorry if i missed any #but it's important i swear #i do really wonder who wrote that note to xander #bc i really thought it was him but idk why he'd conceal his handwriting if he's writing himself the note #also i think it's interesting that we don't get to see david's autograph #accirax pointed that out i forgot it happened #it would have been a really easy place to establish david's handwriting if they wanted #which makes me think that they have a reason not to/david is going to get a handwriting reveal later? #anyways this is too long already. enjoy

[fishyyyyy99]

OK, I seriously can't believe someone actually thinks this about season 4 of Never Have I Ever:

"In 2023, the message of the show suddenly turned into *"racism, white supremacy, patriarchy, and class inequity doesn't exist anymore. Devi did a Bollywood dance, got into Princeton, and a racist white guy said he loves her at the last minute, so everything is going to be okay (for Gen Z)."*

This is the opposite of the premise that the show started with in 2020, which acknowledged the brutal unfairness in the world."

Firstly, it wasn't a Bollywood dance. They danced to the Tamil dubbed version of a song that is originally Telugu. Tamil cinema is known as Kollywood, and Telugu cinema is known as Tollywood. Maybe people who comment so much on racism should learn a little more about not clubbing all of Indian culture together. As a Telugu woman who lives in Tamil Nadu, I'd like to say that I was really happy with the dance number. I was especially happy because it wasn't a Bollywood dance (season 1 just used Hindi songs, and that really annoyed me because Devi is Tamil).

The show literally acknowledged that Devi ("our little hothead from the valley") was happy in that moment. There was no claim about everything being okay forever. It's just that she is better equipped to deal with problems now. She will continue to grow non-linearly, just like she did throughout the show.

Of course, the show became less about dealing with intense grief as it went on - time heals. But they did portray that grief still lingers, despite that.

Also, the portrayal of familial relationships was great - Devi talking about how it's cool to live with three generations of women in her house, Nalini having to deal with empty nest syndrome, Nalini talking about her own struggle with having to start over in the US after being a top resident in India (but of course, the last season does not acknowledge how brutally unfair the world is /s) and how she was just trying to protect Devi from being devastated, Devi setting her mother up (showing how much she had healed and grown since season 2), Kamala being too attached to her family to move away and Nalini telling her that change is good (and even Kamala's coping mechanism of becoming overprotective of Nirmala), Kamala and Devi's sweet moments, the family's acceptance and joyous celebration of Nirmala finding love again, Nirmala calling Nalini out for being mean to Devi, and of course, the heartwarming scene of Nalini helping Devi pack and telling her she's proud of her. Devi's final monologue focused primarily on how much she cares about her mother. Did all of that mean nothing to some people?

Never Have I Ever is not an unproblematic show. But I still can't believe it's being reduced to this. I. Seriously. Just. Can't. Devi was so much more comfortable in her skin than when the show started, and was no longer obsessed with external validation. Her relationship with Nalini had improved greatly. She embraced her culture so much more. She was okay with not getting into Princeton, and realised that she'd always be connected to her father no matter what. I don't mind that she didn't completely give up on her Princeton dream. I don't think she needed to, to show that she had healed. She was able to tell her dad's story in a way that felt true to herself, and did not feel exploitative (she reclaimed her power from a racist white guy). She was truly happy when she prayed to the gods before leaving to Princeton. She was surrounded by people who cared about her and loved her, as she said. And she was happily in the middle of a fun game of Never Have I Ever before Ben showed up. She had learned to love herself and her life. The show having a happy (for now) ending does not equal them saying that everything is going to be okay forever. The world is still brutally unfair. Devi is just a little better at dealing with it.

I don't know who needs to hear this but Never Have I Ever had a TEAM DEVI ending! Just because Devi was not single at the end of the show/ended up with someone you dislike, it doesn't mean that the ending wasn't a win for team Devi.

TEAM DEVI FOR THE WIN! AND THAT'S WHAT WE GOT.

I'll acknowledge that there were issues with the show throughout all four seasons. But I can't see such an empowering show being dismissed in such a ridiculous way.

#devi vishwakumar #never have i ever #maitreyi ramakrishnan #nhie #paxton hall yoshida #jaren lewison #ben x devi #benvi #ben gross #nalini x devi #nalini vishwakumar #poorna jagannathan #kamala nandiwadal #richa moorjani #nirmala vishwakumar #darren barnet #ranjita chakravarty #nhie netflix #never have i ever netflix #never have i ever season 4 #nhie season 4 #team devi

[uroboros-if]

seeing your rant about how difficult it is to be somewhat rude without ruining your relationships in ifs WAS SO RELATABLE! It doesn’t feel real to be always good or nice to characters to be liked

I’m not saying you should be able beat them up and still romance without consequences but romance/relationships aren’t always perfect and peaceful!!! Disagreements/arguments should be something that can happen without it being at the cost of the relationship itself ugh because that’s normal come on >:| as an angst enjoyer, its so hard to have fun without the character being like “you dont agree with me? perish then”

so I’m even more excited for the game now that I saw your take on it because LETS GO!!!!!! <3

You succinctly explained what I struggled to! 😭

I will confess it's half self-indulgent, because I really enjoy relationships where the two must confront their conflicting ideals! I understand most seek other like-minded people, but what of characters who like to be challenged? Characters who can't help but be attached to someone they shouldn't be?

Even setting that aside, you are completely correct! As long as that topic isn't sensitive to someone and neither party is inflexible, people won't automatically like you less.

So not only does such an approval system lose out on angst potential, sometimes it's also unrealistic. There is truth in it as our opinions of others do adjust based on their actions, and those things add up! However, it's a problem when it's applied to even arbitrary choices, or it unnecessarily severely impacts your approval.

Under the read more is my "theory" on why some ROs in IFs are defined by a dynamic trope (rivals to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, etc)!! 💕

It is difficult, if not impossible for a numerical approval system to qualitatively judge your relationship dynamics; it can only judge based on the weight of each choice. It can't, for example, see you've transitioned from being rude, to softening up to the character after realizing they're not so bad. The game only sees the sum of all your negative and positive points.

Without a way to label your actions by anything but a number, a system that purely relies on numerics is incapable of interpreting the dynamics of your relationship, and therefore customizing future interactions with the RO.

Of course, I think most IFs don't purely rely on numbers. Some do a hybrid in which important decisions are tracked qualitatively and lesser ones are tracked numerically. However, even then, some romance is limited by a baseline approval you must achieve in a certain timeframe, and that leads to pressure to meet that mystery number.

Furthermore, these qualitative "important decisions" often have more to do with the plot than how it defines your relationship specifically -- things like "did you kill their father?" rather than "What were their first impressions of the MC?"

So I believe that without a way to interpret the MC's actions meaningfully, there's only one way to play a romance route. There's only one dynamic with that character, one way the relationship can really be. You can be different genders, have your relationship contextualized differently as the story changes from your actions, but rarely does it dramatically differ solely on personality. Rarely does it examine how your relationship varies from the different ways you interact with that character.

I think it's fine that some characters are like that! In fact, it's realistic that some dynamics don't suit certain characters. For example, it's not possible to have rivals to lovers with Salvatore, because they have no reason to see you as a rival, even if you hate them or try to compete with them.

However, taking Sal as an example, your relationship can vary widely by your attitude towards them. It can be a case of friends who lost touch and regret having lost touch; it can be one-sided, as Sal may view MC as a friend, but the MC is bitterly jealous of them. Perhaps MC doesn't think much of them at all.

That's the kind of meaningful interpretation of relationships I aim for--different dynamics rather than boxing in Sal as the typical childhood friends to lovers. There is no one way to play their romance; it should change as the MC is different.

I see how it's not for everyone, and I acknowledge that it is a Herculean task that may, in time, reveal the full extent of its complexity. But I strive for it because such a complicated relationship is central to the conflict of Uroboros. There is nothing more important an undertaking than character relationships in the IF.

Extremely long theory and rambling, but I am so happy someone shares my thoughts, at least as far as disagreements with the ROs!! ❤️❤️ Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share even more of my opinion, Anon! I'm thrilled you are so excited for the story!

#uroboros-if #uroboros #asks #anon #i adore these asks 🥺💕 #meta #interactive fiction

[blazinghotfoggynights]

I hope the 9-1-1 TPTB bring the drama.

There. I said it. I want to see angst, struggling, emotional turmoil, crying, maybe a few holes punched in the wall, again, screaming, arguing. Everything.

They have been freed from the conservative prison that is the you know what network. Why not go big or go home?

Now, some people will say read this and say I'm messy.

Okay. If you think that bothers me, good for you. (It doesn't. IRL, I am the most drama-free, non-confrontational person ever, but I like my entertainment to be a runaway rollercoaster. Don't keep it mentally stable and happy. So boring.)

I've been pretty open about wanting Buddie endgame. But we don't have to take the romantic, sweet, easy route. We can go offroad, turn on the 4x4, and hit the bumps full speed.

So, if Minear and crew (or Oliver and Ryan *waves*) see this, let me throw some messy ideas your way. You want mayhem and chaos? Let's look for some!

Everything below can be supported by canon up to ep 7x5.

1- Have Eddie question why his romantic interactions with women are always forced, initiated or encouraged by someone else, and unfulfilling. Shannon pursued him. Ana was there and familiar. Marisol was there and familiar. Eddie never pursues women due to good old basic attraction. He falls into relationships with those who send him signals they like him and are kind of shameless and thirsty.

We have NEVER seen Eddie actually genuinely excited to go on a date or spend time with a woman. There was always some ulterior reason. He was trying to give Christopher the stable home he thought his son deserved, or Bobby gave some cryptic advice, or Buck said Natalia is the only person who sees him. Ahem.

But Eddie was was all smiles to go hang out with Tommy. The man was bouncing. Bouncing! And every time he has hung out with Buck, he's relaxed and happy. Ijs.

2- I want to remind you that you created the character of Tommy Kinard, so his canonical history is not fandom's ideas. *points to show writers* They did it!

Tommy is canonically a racist, misogynist dbag. (See Hen Begins.) Sure, you can say he did it to fit in, but that also makes him a hypocrite now. He was always the first to follow in the former captain's footsteps when harassing Hen. Tommy wasn't a kid. He knew what he was doing was totally wrong and chose to be racist, misogynist, and possibly homophobic. I mean, I see that you have Hen and Chim forgiving him, which is fodder for a whole different post on retconning, backtracking, the forgiveness from minorities trope etc, but I digress.

I have always lived by the rule that when people show me who they are, I believe them. If you wanted to refer back to past Tommy Kinard, you could make him a total dbag.

It was obvious in 7x3 Tommy was not into Buck. At all. He didn't acknowledge Buck at all until Buck grabbed him. He barely spared Buck a glance when Buck grabbed his arm, pushing Buck's hand away, then looking back toward the direction Eddie exit the scene. That man was blinded by Eddie, who, see number 1, didn't give him the time of day. You could build on that and bring massive amounts of drama and pain.

3- If you really want to blow minds, have fandom go into a collective meltdown, be edgy, and create a storyline that would open the doors to all the main characters being involved, new bonds being cemented between characters who rarely interact, and serious emotional wreckage... just hear me out..

Give us an infidelity arc.

There are multiple options for this one. Some are pretty straightforward and relatively tame, such as Eddie and Buck realizing they are completely in love with each other and kissing, and some are just this side of being banished to Skinimax and HBHo, such as uncovering hidden facts that are scandalous, lying, and intentionally misleading others for your own purposes.

Those ideas could lead to enough material for seasons 8, 9, AND 10 if done properly. 😂 Certain watchdog groups and politicians will condemn you, but smart people don't like them anyway.

Fandom, what say you?

If you have an idea not up there, don't be shy about posting it in a response.

P.S.- I will not apologize for loving messiness. If others didn't enjoy watching messy situations, reality TV would not exist. So, I am not alone.

#9 1 1 buddie #buddie #buck x eddie #buddie 911 #eddie diaz x evan buckley #eddie x buck #evan buckley #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #buck buckley #evan buck buckley

[jesse-cosay]

pls share no exit au i want to cry

The no exit au is exactly what it sounds like. Jesse gets his first exit and Lake can't come with. There are not return trips on the train, not for impossible/unsolvable problems at least, and Jesse can't get back to them.

This was partly inspired by Weevilo's fic, which really got me thinking abt the possibilities of what would happen if Jesse hadn't come back!

In this au they didn't run into the apex, and were on the train a little longer because there was no Big Confrontation to push Jesse's number over the edge.

Jesse gets off the train and still tells Nate everything, Nate believes him to some extent, but his parents don't. Because really, who would? It sounds crazy and Jesse has been a missing person for months.

Eventually, he goes through some therapy (real therapy) once things settle down, but it's a struggle because everyone and everything is telling him to let go of Lake. To move on.

But Lake is still alive. Still out there. And it's a lot harder to move on from something (someone) when you know that they don't want you to.

Without any real support (because while his family loves him, they can't truly believe the stories Jesse tells them without proof), Jesse gets a bit depressed. He hangs out with Nate a lot more too, since Nate says he believes him.

Nate, consequently, feels a bit of responsibility towards Jesse. He sees how his parents not believing him hurts Jesse, he sees how distressed Jesse can be after a particularly bad day, and he sees just how sad Jesse is when he talks about Lake or the train. Like he misses it.

With Nate as Jesse's only confident, it takes a toll for him, too. And after a few years of the two of them stewing the train does come back.

But it comes for Nate.

Who (though not immediately) soon stumbled across Lake. A shiny metal person, just like his brother had described to him. Except different. Older and taller- not as warm and friendly as he'd pictured.

It doesn't take long for Lake to make the connection, to see the resemblance. Nate and Jesse looked so similar. They promise to help him off the train because Nate is a connection to Jesse they never thought they'd have again.

Nate gives Lake hope. He tells them stories, he's silly and happy to explore the train- something that Lake hasn't been in a long time.

And Lake sees the way Nate tries to take others pain and make it his own. They see the way Jesse's grief has become Nate's. How he feels responsible. And even when Nate is helping them, whether he realizes it or not, Lake reminds him that those problems aren't his. That he can't control other people or how they feel. That it's not his fault.

I should also mention that Nate's number starts out broken, because really his problem is that Lake is on the train (the reason the train picks up Jesse in canon), but once he learns not to make other people's problems his own, it zeros instead. Because Lake being on the train was never his problem to begin with.

Then it's Lake and Nate standing at the exit, with Jesse on the other side.

And it's- they can't touch. They can't go through the door, because it's Nate's exit. But they still talk a little.

"I waited for you. I was always waiting for you. I'm not gonna go anywhere this time."

Nate and Lake argue about his exit, because Lake wants him to go back and Nate has decided that- while Lake being stuck on the train isn't his problem, he doesn't really care. He may have learned his lesson and got his exit, but he isn't going to make the same mistake and leave them there.

So they go to the engine and confront one-one much like in canon, devising a plan before they get there instead of after.

And they all live happily ever after!

#infinity train #no exit au #jesse cosay #lake infinity train #jesslake #nate cosay

[pidges-lost-robot]

No one:...

Me: I have this idea on how to kind of improve the storyline of Pidge being picked on while adding a bit of a more complex type of relationship into the background of the plot cause she strikes me as a character that would fight back with viscious verbal responses. Basically one of the people that is mean to Pidge also has a parent on the kerberos mission (obviously with the result of there being more crew members) who dislikes her because she's sometimes a bit smug about doing so well on tests and it rubs this person the wrong way cause they're insecure about their struggling on tests and are mean to pidge as a result. But also pidge is the sort to really poke the bear when it comes to that, very much being quick to immediately zone in on this person's insecurity whenever they're mean to her andthis often results in things like being shoved or having her phone smashed.

No one still:....

Me: which ends up changing the conversation between pidge and her brother after a scene of this as a flashback where instead of being like "having brain is the best thing ever nerds will run the world" is actually the one to highlight the way pidge is quick to antagonise people especially by means of viewing her intelligence as making her better than them and suggesting that maybe there is another way to deal with this. Which is an example of bullying that can be underrepresented cause ultimately it is bad what this student is doing, but also shows the ways people can sometimes develop an unhealthy way to cope with it. We then see that Pidge, after really picking on this kid back and antagonising him about struggling to pass tests resulting in them getting angry and shoving her phone to ground and smashing, decides to apologise for what she said. The kid points out that they will never be friends and pidge says she knows, but that them being an asshole didn't justify her being an asshole in a different way.

No one:

Me: later when pidges brother and dad go missing in the mission she is left without much to focus on at school. Calls from the ship to families were prohibited from being stored or recorded. But one day from a random number she is sent some.pictures of a birthday of one of the crew members taken on a concealed phone. The bully's mums birthday. The bully when she asks about it in private denies sending her anything but it's clear that they did. They're still not friends but there's a begrudging respect there. And these pictures (I haven't thought of how cause I'm a hack) somehow lead to pidges theory that the garrison are covering something up

Still no one:

Me: now this goes further cause they find the bully's parent on their search for pidges family she's one of the only other crew members that survived but she unfortunately passes giving something yo pidge to give back to her kid if she makes it back to earth and when they eventually do, pidge decides to be the person to.give them the news about what really happened to their parent. She goes and they initially don't believe her but she gives them the message and the keepsake she gave her. They ask her why she bothered with how they were to her in school (it's been a few years since then obviously) and she reminds them of the photos they gave her that they sent her, tells them how it lead her to realise that garrison had been lying and thanked them for it and that it was only fair and right that she did this for them and how she's sorry about their mom. The bully tells her that this still doesn't make them friends and she nods. She leaves and Keith finds her on her way back, really upset and feeling like she should've done more and Keith assures her that there wasn't much more she couldve done. I just thought this could be a bit more interesting and true to her character than just getting called a nerd once and crying about it

No one: ..... what?

#voltron #vld #voltron: legendary defender #my headcanons #my rants #pidge vld #pidge #pidge holt #pidge voltron #vld pidge #pidge gunderson #voltron pidge #matt holt #matt vld #vld matt

[mokeonn]

I finally actually watched Hazbin Hotel because I was like "I really shouldn't be so judgey, how can I say I hate a show I haven't even watched?" And I can safely say after 5 episodes in:

I hate it.

So I will preface this rant about my feelings towards this controversial show with the following positive statements:

I understand why people enjoy the show, it's fun, the animation is really enjoyable to watch, the music numbers are pretty good, the voice acting is also good, and the whole thing feels like it was constructed around a fandom. Though that last part is a flaw in the overall series, I completely see why people enjoy it. If a series was practically built around making fanfiction, ocs, or fun redesigns, people are gonna have fun making those things. I literally can't blame anyone for enjoying this show. It should also go without saying that I don't think people are morally evil for enjoying the show. I do believe, however, that your taste in shows is bad if you love this show.

I came into this show expecting the WORST. Everything I was told about it was how it was such an awful show and all the horrible things it does. So I was expecting the worst thing I've ever watched to appear before me tonight.

So imagine my surprise when the first 3 episodes aren't that bad. They aren't good, but they're not awful. It's just mid! The animation is fun to watch, the songs are catchy, and the pacing is only a little off. There were a lot of little moments where we got payoff with no set-up. Things like a dramatic reveal of a character that appears to want to evoke a "oh woah, it's that guy!!" moment, but we don't even know who that guy is. A character belting out a dramatic emotional ballad that is also a duet with another major character, but we were introduced to that character earlier that episode and we don't know her well enough to really care about her heartfelt emotional song. Moments that felt more awkward than anything else. Other than that, the show wasn't too bad! I was enjoying myself! I was worried that I was going to enjoy this extremely hated series and how it was going to reflect on my public tumblr image!

And then episode 4 hit.

Episode 4 starts off very similar to the others, and all around, I think it's a pretty good episode if it wasn't for the ending, but we'll get to that.

Episode 4 is a heavier episode dealing with Angel Dust's abuse at the hands of his boss. It gets fairly graphic at points, but with the way people were describing it, I was actually expecting far worse. It has a catchy song from Angel Dust about this abuse, and towards the end, he falls into a self-destructive spiral and vents about how much he wants to basically crash and burn in the hopes that maybe the abuse would stop or he would become too fucked up to notice/care anymore. You know what? This is a pretty heavy hitting topic and really spoke to me as a person who is dealing with addiction and struggles with depression spirals. I felt a lot of what Angel Dust was feeling, even if our situations were completely different. What is the response our little pink spider friend gets? An admittedly catchy song about how he's right that he sucks and he's a loser, "but hey, I'm a loser too! So we can be losers together."

Now, I get what the song is TRYING to say. It's trying to say that you're not alone, that "if you're a loser, then I'm a loser too. But we can be losers together." Which is a nice sentiment and all... but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. It doesn't portray this idea that you're not alone in this world, and there's plenty of people going through similar experiences, so it's important to connect with each other. It instead focuses on feeling more self-depreciating, which is fine and all, but it feels like an inappropriate time to be self-depreciating.

If a person with very low self-esteem vents about their abuse and talks down about themselves, and admits to wanting to self-harm by committing self-destructive behaviors on purpose... I think "seld-depreciation" is the last thing I would want to do with that person.

I get it. The song is trying to be funny and silly with self-depreciating humor to lighten the dark mood and show how Angel Dusk and the weird deep voiced cat-boy (yes, I know his name is Husk) are now getting along and relating to eachother by making jokes about how stupid they were to get into their awful situations... but the song really leaves a sour taste in my mouth because it just feels... wrong. It feels like the wrong response.

The story makes it seem like the song breaks this cycle of self-destructive behaviors and allows the characters to make the first step towards redemption/breaking the cycle of abuse; The song does not fit this theme, it instead just continues that cycle while the story continues on as if it did something else.

I might not be conveying my reasons for WHY the song left a bad taste in my mouth very well, but all you really need to know is that the vibes were off and it seemed like there was something left on the cutting room floor or a mistake between the writers and song writers.

Episode 5 is where I stopped. Like, I can't even finish it. Those previously mentioned pacing issues were nothing compared to the constant wave of hits episode 5 gave me.

First off, we are getting payoff for something that was actually set up! Popping some bottles here! It happens a couple times in the other episodes, but here: a major character is revealed after being talked about and foreshadowed in previous episodes! This really was a first in the series as most of the time, characters were just introduced when the story needed them, causing those awkward moments where a villain or major character got introduced. Valentino was introduced in an episode with some build-up earlier in said episode, but having a character actually be hinted at in earlier episodes before a reveal felt completely new.

And then it was... disappointing. The payoff did not match the set-up. I will state it right now. Lucifer, as a character, caused me to entirely stop watching the show mid episode 5. When you have this big dramatic backstory about how he was an angel of creation who wanted to create, a rebel who went against all he'd ever known to meet another rebel and fall in love with her, a deeply sad man who hid away refusing to take part in ruling hell, leaving it all to his wife? The fact that this is based on Christian theology and Lucifer already has ages of connotation and lore attached to him? Idk I think, "self depreciating, awkward, sad man who doesn't know how to greet his daughter on the phone, and spends all his time making little toy ducks" is... a huge fucking let-down. I understand they're trying to go a more humorous route of "He isn't scary at all, he's just a huge dork!" But it doesn't work, and it just makes me cringe. This alone would be a lot to process in one episode... but Episode 5 still has a LOT of punches in it!

The episode first states that they only have a couple months before the deadline, implying that around 4 months have passed since the first and second episode. Nothing really implies that much time passing between episode 1 and 4, and in the episode, Charlie states all the things they have been working on. Which is things we have already seen in the show. Which tells me that they really haven't been working on anything offscreen during this sudden time skip, so what the fuck happened between episodes 1-4??

Anyways, I could have misread this entire thing and thought far too much into Charlie's stress and the "only a couple months away!". With the word "couple" and the stress the character is clearly going through, I assumed that they were 2 months from the deadline, but maybe I was wrong. I don't know. I didn't finish the episode, and I'm not watching any more.

The first major "hit by a truck" moment was when Lucifer makes his way to the hotel and suddenly, he gets into a feud with Allister. They both sing a song about who is the better Dad to Charlie, and I am sitting there confused because, huh?? Wha?? Where the fuck did this "Allister Dad" thing come from?? NOWHERE in the last 4 episodes (nor the pilot) imply this relationship. Allister is the tumblr sexyman Mary-sue who gets at least 1 new power every episode. Nothing about him out of his entire screen time was paternal. Just as my confusion reaches a boiling point... they introduce a new character suddenly with an unearned "it's ME!" Intro (although unlike past intros, it is ironic).

She's a sassy little flapper who is friends with Allister and whose only purpose this episode is to cause problems to come to the Hotel's way later in the episode, and to give Allister's backstory. A backstory that we really didn't need. Like REALLY didn't need. Seriously this entire show we have been told and shown that Allister is a powerful demon who is feared and not to be messed with. This backstory reveals that he is... a powerful demon who is feared and not to be messed with. The only purpose of this backstory is to reveal a spooky thing he does so he can use it as a threat later in the episode.

Husk confronts Allister about his friend because she always brings trouble, and he snaps at Allister, making a sassy comment. Allister threatens Husk with the previously mentioned spooky thing he is totally known for that was revealed in the backstory.

Lucifer does not approve of the hotel, which makes an awkward scene where Charlie is trying to explain her thinking and her personal experience to her absent father and Lucifer shoots her down by poorly hinting that it just "wouldn't work" because he knows from personal experience. I am not having a good time watching two characters communicate poorly primarily because I hate one of them so much.

The previously mentioned trouble comes their way, and Allister reveals new awesome Allister powers for the 3rd time this episode and goes off to fight off the trouble. Charlie uses this as a way to try to reason with her father. Allister finishes his fight and scolds his friend for using him to fight off the trouble she gets into like Husk said earlier. He then informs here that she either needs to leave or come and stay at the hotel to rehabilitate. She stomps off, and I feel so tired of a third huge payoff with not a lot of set-up.

Allister (who I probably have been misspelling his name this whole time and no I will NOT check) feels like he did a ton of development and growth... entirely off screen. This feels like a 180 to me. This entire show he has been this evil, off-putting guy, that vaguely helps at the hotel, does creepy things, threaten people, and use plot armor powers to save the day or do cool things. So suddenly having an episode where it's stated he has a paternal relationship with Charlie, which has NOT been shown or even HINTED at whatsoever, and where he suddenly turns away a troublemaking friend to protect the hotel he wanted to see fall apart? It's a total 180 from what I'm used to. One could claim that the sudden protection of the hotel was because he wanted to protect his investment, and he knew his friend was using him so he just sent her on her way or offered for her to be tortured in the friendship hotel. I can see an argument for why he didn't threaten or harm his friend when he has killed people or threatened to kill people for less (pretty strong friendship that goes way back when blah blah blah) I can argue about the inconsistencies in how he acts towards the end of this episode compared to the previous episodes of the show all I want.

But come on, you can't argue the sudden paternal thing. That came out of nowhere.

At this point I just, turned off the episode and called it quits. I have heard that the most glaring writing issues come later in the season, and if episode 5 was this bad, I don't wanna keep watching.

Part of me wants to continue watching, as the animation is really enjoyable to watch, and the music is actually pretty fun. But I just know that I'm not going to enjoy myself at all from here on out. It's all going to be downhill from here, and it'll frustrate me. I'm not gonna spend my time watching something I'll hate.

If I wanna watch something frustrating, I'd just watch Jerma play my favorite game for the first time.

#simon says #LONG post #under a read more for a reason #i just... REALLY wanted to complain and vent #also no i did not spell a bunch of names correctly #and also NO none of this is up for debate its all opinion #that one vine like #THATS MY OPINIOOONN #:/ :[ #anyways feel free to skip im probably gonna delete it in the morning #it's funny though #my friend told me he liked the show but sees why people dislike it #and I said I disliked the show but see how people can like it #we're both galaxy brained because that's just a normal take to have on things #no more discourse about it. just a simple 'this is my opinion but i get why people disagree with me' #which is the most milquetoast of takes