#and fuck. you guys know me.

[gay-yosuke]

i apologise in advance if in the next 72 hours i post about naoto and invite devils into our home.

#i can feel it coming in the air tonight oooghg looord #me liteally like 30 minutate ago: ya its not really anything to me #me right fucking now: i think i want to post about naoto and his gender and This Definitely Wont Cause An Argument Online #i just wanna talk about how he can come around to it in a way that doesnt actually entirely void canon. #not for the sake of appeasing those who are Wrong but for the sake of . it's kinda a common thing to happen #and fuck. you guys know me. #i am The Guy who will Write That. Given The Chance. #ok the longer i sit here thinking about it the more i want to write it Time To Go Play Minecraft :)

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

#Dungeon Meshi #Delicious in Dungeon #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #Laios Touden #Dungeon Meshi meta #you can have him in the tags too. as a treat. #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply #this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps #I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate #but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know #also I included image descriptions! I did my best #I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys #musings with Dea

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that? #anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[zoneofsmites]

Im of the full (possibly delusional) belief that Durge is not the species that they physically appear to be.

You’re telling me this being crafted from nothing but bhaal’s flesh and his blood - this demigod - is actually a dragonborn/tiefling/human/elf/etc.

No. This thing is bhaal’s flesh and it just happens to look like that. They’re an imitation of a species, they’re not truly a (full)mortal being, they have no heritage aside from bhaal.

As a result I’m sure there’s some…oddities.

For example, a demigod child, not fully mortal. I doubt they adhere to the lifespan of whatever species they look like. Looking younger than they should. (less so perhaps with long lived races like elfs and half-elves where that is par for the course).

A dragonborn durge that by all accounts looks like a blue dragonborn but their breathweapon is acid. A tiefling durge that seems to be a Mephistopheles tiefling but they cannot cast mage hand, instead smiting like a zariel bloodline tiefling.

An elf or tiefling durge that doesn’t read as fey or infernal trough identification spells. Because they aren’t either of those things. Perhaps they could read as divine but not quite.

Members of a race that durge is supposed to be looking at them and sometimes when making eye contact they read as wrong. And some kind of uncanny effect triggers in their brain.

Give me more freaky durge who isn’t really what they appear to be at all. Just a little murder demigod crafted from dead god flesh to be the shape of something else.

#bg3 #durge #the dark urge #bg3 durge #bg3 the dark urge #bg3 dark urge #dark urge #bg3 headcanons #hall of wonders #zone of truth #this post is brought to you by me making my mephi-tiefling Durge mechanically a zariel tiefling to make them mechanically ‘wrong’ #and also by my thoughts of a durge who ages eerily slow for their species #(wdym this mid 30’s /pushing 40’s guy looks not a day past his 20’s???) #(how much would that fuck with gortash. when your partner who’s race is of a similar lifespan to humans hasn’t aged in the decade you’ve #that you’ve know them) #(personally. i would die a little)

[fabcreature]

you know what, since we've been talking about how annoying it is when people react like "what drugs were they on when they wrote this 🤪" when someone is creative, i just wanna say

everyone who says "HOW IS THIS A KIDS' MOVIE 😱😱", when a kids' movie is a little bit out of the box and features dark or deep imagery and meanings, owes me one thousand euros

#coraline #nightmare before christmas #return to oz #spirited away #secret of nimh #sorry you guys are fucking boring #kids can watch things with more artistic merit than paw patrol you know #children's media can be interesting and deep and dark #kids aren't made of glass. they can handle creepy things. they can Enjoy creepy things. #so you know. shut the fuck up and give me one thousand euros #eg posts

[whilomm]

i like to think that the tentacles in dungeon meshi are kinda like mushrooms or perhaps even lichens in that they are very confusing to identifty and have 200 completely different species that look very similar ("delicious brown tentacle vs BROWN DEATH TENDRIL") and you need to be an Expert to determine the difference between some of the more confusing species and some of them have like 300 different sexes and some of them are actually composite creatures composed of several different species and somehow yeast is involved and also no one really knows half of whats going on with them and in like 50 years someones gonna figure out that uhm actually these are two completely different types of tentacle creatures that arent related like at All they jusf happen to look similar and oh btw that one common house mold is actually a tentacle

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #i dont know enough about lichens to go into detail they confuse the fuck outta me #i love how the wikipedia page uses the words #'was UNDERSTOOD to be...' #'in 2016 research revealed a NEW PARTNER a yeast' #they sound like fucked up little guys #(looking at tentacle porn) huh i wonder about the scientific research on these guys #like it would explain how theres just So Many Types and its just a fucking mess every time they appear onscreen #oh sorry you thought this was a common docile soecies of tentacle that happens to be delicious but its ACTUALLY the voracious Sex Tenta

[yuri-puppies]

i was genuinely mad at gorgug for a hot minute there for calling mary ann a freak, but now that they've retconned that into autism4autism belligerent sexual tension i kinda really fuck with it actually

#we didn't know it at the time but she was thinking: you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid #and she was right!!!!! #“did it make you mad in real life” jfc the woman that you are mary ann #got me swearing in xtian #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #gorgug thistlespring #mary ann skuttle #gorgann #skuttlespring #<- what are we calling it guys #dimension 20

[thund3randrain]

"I respect you and won't stop you from being who you are" and "I'm not ready to call you by a new name and pronouns because it hurts me" can not co-exist when the speaker is your parent who has a huge amount of control over your life.

#this basically means the rest of the family can't know #no hormones or puberty blockers #no name changes in the school database #being referred to as a girl by every new person they introduce me to #basically i can't do anything until i move out #which is years away #so thank you mum for being so supportive of me #and so fucking helpful #-_- #jayden's thoughts #trans #transgender #trans boy #trans issues #trans man #trans guy #trans ftm #transmasc #ftm #ftm trans #transmaculine

[knifearo]

ppl are so quick to modify and soften and put qualifiers on aromantic people’s statements. i’ll say “love loses” and here come seven thousand people in the notes going “funny joke but love is good actually!” “romantic love loses but not platonic love platonic love is great!” “but platonic love is still good though…” no actually i said what i meant the first fucking time. is it so hard to let someone just say something ever

#this is not just about the love loses joke specifically but it is the one that i get the most often and it does piss me off #anyway. you guys know what i’m talking about i’m sure. #aromantic people will say anything and here come seven thousand assholes to play semantics. shut uppp you know what the fuck i meant #talking #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #like even with there being more OPEN AND OUT trans people there are still more cis people by volume #even in my high school with three trans girls and three trans guys (including me) and a few NB people... #...there were still a THOUSAND cis kids going to school with us. imagine complaining when cis people are still 'dominant' #i don't know what my secondary school's population is because it's a big campus so you can deal with high school stats lol #like thank gd we are beginning to live in a world where the trans population CAN grow #i want there to be more trans people. because trans people will continue to be trans #we will continue being trans no matter what laws you put into place. no matter how dangerous you make the world for us... #...we will continue to be trans whether or not you approve. and that's fucking beautiful. i want us to live. i want us to eat well. #i want us to not worry about anything in this world. and that's going to happen one day. it will happen just like the sun rises each morning #if that is a threat to you then that is your own fault - your own self-destructive and sad thoughts about people and our world #and that is not my burden to carry - i have my own.

[saintaviator]

something something gman tommy something something gordon in stasis. you know how it is.

#GOD TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING QUALITY. JESUS CHRIST. #This is a lil rough lookin cos it’s uhhhh . One it’s like a month old and 2 it took me like an hour w no real thought or effort #Anyway #I Feel Normal . Im normal. It’s whatever #THIS IS BASED ON NOTHING . other than this has been haunting me. The hypotheticaaaallllllsssssss aaauuughhhhhhbhhh #hl2vrai #hlvrai #tommy coolatta #should. I tag ol gordon here ? #I dont. Know. I don’t wanna Fuck up th hl tag #whatever. #hlvrai 2 #gordon freeman #gordon feetman #hlvrai gordon #hlvrai tommy #If they do do smth w stasis it’ll fuck me up so bad cos. ONE . #that means Gordon never got to go home. fucked up. Fucked up #TWO . It’s so. AUIUHGHH. It’s one thing w like. in the hl2 canon of Gman this like. Mysterious freak fuckin around w Gordon #Where it’s just an uncaring omnipotent Guy taking you in and out of limbo as he pleases #but with like. Dr coomer specifically tryna contact Gordon and TOMMY BEING GMAN. FUCK. it’s like. Now it’s your friends. #now it’s your friends who need you and are trying to help you along. putting you into place. THERES SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT THERE #this might be me reaching but it’s like. ohhhh my god #wgatever. What the fuck ever #EDIT: SOMEONE JST POINTED THIS OUT AND THIS WASNT ON PURPOSE I SWEAR TO GOD. HES KINDA IN TH FUCKED UP VR CROUCH POSE. FUCK . FUCK

[bastardlybonkers]

feetman

#hlvrai #half live vr but the ai is self aware #gordon freeman #gordon feetman #so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne #but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy #cause like to me #a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like #no actual stakes #dude is getting pissed for the sake of it #he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know #now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing #or how he got the game #is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows! #hes The Player #also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons #its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao #also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit #and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi #i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis #sorry for long tags

[dozydawn]

Mayerling.

Melissa Hamilton and Rupert Pennefather.

Lauren Cuthbertson and Thiago Soares.

Natalia Osipova and Edward Watson.

Melissa Hamilton and Rupert Pennefather.

Natalia Osipova and Edward Watson.

Sarah Lamb and Steven McRae.

#obsessed #mayerling #ballet #kiss #couple #fave pics #lifts #i’m so glad this is hitting w folks bc this sat in my drafts for months cause i thought this is a post Just For Me and it’ll flop #mostly it sat in my drafts bc i was like what the fuck do i write as a header ‘this one hot kiss lift from mayerling’ #in the end i just settled for the ballet title ok everyone knows what this is #you guys are conditioning me to release more pose compilations from my hellish drafts #oh and ​one more thing... ice dance interpretation of this lift WHEN? i need a mayerling ice dance program stat please #1k #kenneth macmillan #pose compilation

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #john gaius #harrow the ninth #this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL #this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships #(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think #the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real #but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed) #there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone? #yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't) #the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god #when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care #(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution) #and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on #it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there #while john is -- well he sure is being john huh #this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end #(with john slam dunked right into hell that is) #it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up #john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too