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headkiss · 1 year

Note

hihi!!! back w more joel :)

could i req maybe something like a reunion in jackson?

lots of love!!!

hiii yes you can!!! tysm for requesting :D | 0.9k fluff reunion <3

You’d never want to complain about life in Jackson. Sure, it’s dull and repetitive, lonely for someone like you who’d shown up all alone and somehow stayed that way. But, it’s as safe as can be, with warm, running water and food in your stomach.

So, no, you’d never want to complain about Jackson even when you constantly feel like you're missing something, someone.

The people kept their distance from you at first, but you’ve since learned that they’re like that every time someone new shows up. They need time to adjust, to accept, to trust most of all. Now, they’re friendly and kind, always offering a ‘hello’ when you walk by.

Still, you feel alone no matter how many people know your name. You’re still walking into an empty house every night, still holding out for someone to walk into your life and stay there.

Unlikely, in these times.

The only real friend you have in Jackson is Tommy, and considering you’d known him pre-outbreak, you technically haven’t made any new friends.

Having Tommy around is a bittersweet. It’s incredible to have found him again, feels even better to have someone who knows the best version of yourself, the one that existed before the world went to absolute shit.

On the other hand, he’s a constant reminder of what’s been lost. Uncle to Sarah, who you can’t believe is gone, even after all these years. Brother to a man you haven’t stopped loving or hoping to find no matter how hard you try.

It’s impossible not to think about Joel when you’re with Tommy. The eye color they share, the accent. It’s nearly been a year since you ended up in Jackson and you still aren’t used to it.

You’ve probably dreamt Joel up thousands of times by now, imagined his voice even more.

This time, you’re carrying a box of stock into the bar when you think you hear it. The drawl of his voice, the tone you’d recognize anywhere. It sounds more real than ever. You’re losing it.

It’s a shout of Tommy’s name that has your head snapping over because there’s no way you could make that up. It was too real. And there he is.

Joel fucking Miller hopping off a horse and hugging his brother mere feet away from you.

Your heart’s racing faster and faster, the beat ringing in your ears. You blink tightly, again and again to make sure you aren’t daydreaming. Joel’s still there when you open your eyes. The box slips out of your hands onto the ground with a thud.

Joel looks over at the noise, and his breath gets stuck in his throat.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs, pulling away from his brother.

Tommy follows Joel’s line of sight and smiles, “I was just gonna tell you…”

“Joel?” You take a couple of steps forward, almost shy, like you’re not sure if he even remembers you.

Hearing you say his name again after so long feels too good to be true, but here he is, and here you are. In Jackson, of all places. Joel’s spent every day since the outbreak began building up walls, a defense around his heart. And yet, one word from your mouth and they crumble in an instant.

“Sweetheart?” He says. Though he knows Ellie is probably making some disgusted face behind him, Joel can’t bring himself to regret saying it.

“Oh my god,” you say.

You can’t stand there, away from him, any longer. You rush forward and throw your arms around his neck, and he’s just as eager, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. He feels solid, his shoulders broader with time, his hair grayer, but it’s him.

His arms have been around you countless times, but nothing has ever felt as good as this.

Joel squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face in your neck, like he’s hiding from everyone else and trying to get as close as possible to you.

“Fuck, I thought I lost you,” he says into your skin. So quiet only you could hear him.

“Not a single day has gone by where I haven’t thought of you, Joel.”

It’s like everyone else has faded away, and though they’re definitely staring, you can’t feel a single pair of eyes on you. All you feel is him. The relief of having him back, the immediate comfort, the rush of emotion and the swell of your heart.

Joel pulls back just far enough to see your face, and his hands move up to cup your cheeks. They’re calloused and rough, but his touch is nothing but soft and gentle.

“I fucking missed you, sweetheart.”

You pull his head down so that his forehead is pressed against yours. “I missed you, too.”

Joel’s changed, and so have you. Years of an apocalypse will do that to a person, make you tougher, colder. But at this moment, you’re the same two people you’ve always been. The same two people who love each other, who spent years learning every little detail about each other.

Because of that, Joel kisses you. It’s soft, and it’s quick, but it’s more than you could ever ask for.

Then, reminding you that you, in fact, aren’t alone, there’s a girl’s voice, “hey, how long is this gonna take ‘cause I’m fucking starving.”

Joel sighs, but there’s a fondness in his eyes you’d never miss.

“That’s Ellie,” he tells you.

“Hi, Ellie,” you wave sheepishly at her.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she says, and you laugh, covering your face with your hands. Beside you, Joel sighs again and sends Ellie a look.

Even hours later, sitting in the dining hall with Joel and Ellie, you can't stop pinching yourself, convinced you’re dreaming.

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ticklishfiend · 3 years

Note

Yay!! I love your fics and I’m excited to give you a prompt! Maybe Sero gets stuck in his own tape so Kirishima and Kaminari take advantage of finding out he’s ticklish when they try to get him free? Loved your last few fics by the way! I love all your fics but the last few were extra cute. 😊💖💖

aaahh tysm!! i absolutely adore your blog and all of the fics you post! tysm for this prompt, it was adorable, i love these boys sm lol

Sticky Situation (My Hero Academia)

Lee!Sero / Ler!Kirishima,Ler!Kaminari

Summary : Sero wants some help seeing if he can get out of his own tape. When he realizes he can’t, Kirishima and Kaminari just can’t help but take advantage of his little predicament.

Word Count : 1373

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!! MWAH <33

. . .

“And you’re positive this is safe?” Kirishima asked as he used the last bit of tape Sero extended to them to stick said black-haired boy to the wall. Both of Sero’s arms were stretched out beyond his sides, taped up to the wall spread-eagle style, Denki taking final precautionary measures by flattening the tape against his legs.

“Totally, man, I’ve done this to people tons of times!” Sero answered reassuringly, tugging at his arms to make sure he couldn’t escape. “I just need to make sure that if my tape is ever used against me, I can figure a way out of it myself. Wouldn’t be super heroic for a villain to trap me using my own quirk.”

“Makes sense,” Denki nodded, stepping back to admire his and Kiri’s handiwork. “So, uh...how do you plan on getting out exactly?”

Sero grinned widely. “Like...this!” Sero tugged harshly against his tape, pulling at his legs and arms for freedom.

He didn’t even budge.

“Uh...I mean...like...THIS!” he tried again, rougher this time, his neck twisting as all his muscles pulled and writhed trying to free himself from his own bindings. The strained noises escaping his throat made Kiri raise a brow questioningly, before Denki burst into his own fit of laughter, clutching his stomach.

“Holy shit! He’s stuck!” Denki cackled, pointing towards the raven haired teen who finally slumped against the wall with an exasperated sigh.

“Quit laughing, you idiot! I can get out of this! I’ve just gotta…” Sero tried twisting his arms this time, attempting to create some friction between his skin and the sticky texture of his tape. This only resulted in a gross burning sensation on his arms, so he tried flapping his arms up and down this time. This only made him look more like an idiot than he already did.

Kiri couldn’t help but chuckle at the boy’s predicament. “Doesn’t seem like you’re gettin’ any further there, buddy,” Kiri grinned, making Denki snort beside him. “Let’s just get you down from there before you hurt yourself.”

Sero sighed, looking away from his friends embarrassingly. “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Denki swiped a final laugh-induced tear from his own eye before walking towards Sero pinned to the wall, trying to unstick the tape from his arms. Sero hissed at this, his face wincing in discomfort, making Denki pull away fast.

“Shit, ow, wait don’t do that,” Sero said, clenching his fist a little at the pain. “Feels like your waxing my fucking arm hairs off.”

“Let’s try pulling him from the middle,” Kiri suggested, squeezing Sero’s sides in an attempt to pull. Sero’s torso jerked, the boy letting out a small yelp. Kiri pulled away instantly, thinking he had hurt the boy like Denki had.

“Oh, sorry man I didn’t mean to hurt-”

“No, no, you didn’t hurt me. Just, uh...felt kinda funny,” Sero said without looking directly at Kiri. Denki only raised a brow at this.

“Funny. Like...ticklish funny?” the blonde offered with a smirk, poking a quick finger into the boys ribs. Sero let out a high-pitched “Ah!” his torso trying to twist away from the prodding appendage.

“Ohoho, I see. Someone’s a little sensitive~” Kiri teased, wiggling his fingers in the air menacingly in front of Sero’s body. Sero’s eyes went wide, his struggles against his own bonds becoming a little more panicked.

“Guys, wait, please, don’t do this, I can’t take it-”

“Sure you can, Spidey! Maybe you’ll even squirm enough to worm your way outta this mess, huh?” Denki giggled, wiggling his index finger into Sero’s exposed underarm. Sero jerked with a yelp again, but when the sensation didn’t let up this time, small tittters started escaping his lips.

“Denki! Nohoho!” Sero pleaded, his eyes looking like a begging puppy’s.

“Denki yes!~” Denki retorted, adding all five of his fingers to wiggle into the sensitive pit. Sero giggled harder at this, his eyes squeezing shut in mirth. Kirishima decided he wanted in on some of the fun himself, lifting up Sero’s shirt just enough to scratch his nails against Sero’s wiggling lower belly. The boy sucked his stomach in as much as he could, but his overflow of now even higher-pitched giggles practically made his stomach tickle itself on Kirishima’s fingers.

“GAHAHAHA! NAHAHA! KIRISHIMAHAHA!” Sero cackled, throwing his head back against the wall, arms tugging uselessly against his bonds. Kirishima chuckled at the boy’s torment.

“Aww, whatsa’ matter Sero? We’ve barely even done anything!” Kiri teased, moving his fingers over towards the boy's sides, the boy’s torso shaking as his giggles frantically pushed out of his chest.

“I know, right? Poor guy’s so ticklish we barely have to touch him to get him to lose it,” Kaminari smiled, his right hand continuing it’s gentle but torturous assault on his armpit, while the other travelled to poke around his upper ribs. That sent a jolt through Sero’s body, his giggles turning to small yips and screeches. His nose was scrunched and his smile was so wide it practically ripped his face in half, eyes shut tight and he giggled helplessly.

“AHAH NAHAHA! NOT THAHAT!” Sero cackled as Denki turned to poking his ribs on both sides, playing them like a toddler would play a piano, sporadic pokes leaving the boy to jerk and writhe under his playful touch. “KAMIHIHI! IT TIHIHICKLES!”

“Aw, it does? What about this, does this tickle?~” Kirishima teased as he switched his gentle scratches to playful squeezes on the boy’s hips. Sero guffawed, doubling his body over as much as it could go in the bound position he was in.

“OH GOHOHOD! PLEHEHEASE! I CAHAHAN’T!” Sero pleaded and cackled, his knees bouncing up and down in a mock attempt to kick his legs out. Kirishima noticed this, and experimentally squeezed at one of his thighs.

Sero screamed.

“AHAHAH! NOHOHO! NOT MY THIIHIGHS! PLEHEHEASE! I’LL DO ANYTHIHIHING!” Sero begged through fits of hysterical laughter, his eyes opening to stare at the redhead in plead.

“Aw, but Sero, I can’t just miss an opportunity like this!” Kirishima giggled, moving both his hands to squeeze up and down the boy’s lean but tender thighs. Sero’s laughter reached a new level of hysterical. It was loud and boisterous, his knuckles turning white from how hard he clenched them out beyond his sides. Denki pinched at his ribs with no mercy, and Sero could barely hold on.

“PLEHEHEASE! GUHUYS! I CAHAHAN’T! IT’S SO BAHAHAD! TICKLES SO BAHAHAD!” Sero laughed, pulling even harder at his bindings. His tormentors were too caught up giggling along with their ticklish victim to hear the sound of tape unsticking to the wall in front of them. Sero tugged and pulled as he wiggled subconsciously, his sensitive body just trying to get itself away from the playful torment being put upon itself. Then-

-RIIIIP!-

Sero fell on top of the boys unceremoniously with a yelp and a loud thud, all three of them falling to the floor in a heap of giggles.

“That was so mehehean!” Sero clutched his stomach as he rolled on the floor, still giggling from the previous assault and from the hilarious fall they had all just taken.

“Sorry man, it was too easy not to,” Denki chuckled, laughing as he stood himself up from the floor. He offered two hands to the giggling boys on the floor, pulling them up with a huff.

Once up and off the floor, the boys noticed that Sero still had tape on his arms. He whined as he realized what he was gonna have to do. 20 minutes and a lot of whines and cries of pain later, Sero finally got all the tape off his arms, even if he did have to sacrifice some arm hair in the process.

“At least now you know how to get yourself out of your own tape! Just a couple tickles and you’re all good to go!” Kaminari smiled brightly at Sero who was rubbing at his now red and blotchy arms, the raven-haired boy not amused at his comment.

“I’ll get you both back for this, just you wait,” Sero said with a roll of his eyes. Yeah, he was definitely gonna get them for this. Too easy not to.

. . .

A /N : sorry if this was a little short! im trying not to overwork myself rn haha, hope you enjoyed it tho!! much love!! <33

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asterroidd · 3 years

Text

drabbles: them reacting to a surprise kiss

↬ includes: kaminari denki, bakugo katsuki, shouto todoroki

tysm for the request anon! Hope you enjoy! ♡

—denki kaminari would be smug albeit lowkey flustered

“Shoot back me up,” Denki mumbled, eyes glued to the screen while his fingers fervently tapping on his keyboard. At the current moment, he’s enjoying the semestral break and of course what better way to seize the time by spending most of it playing games? Sign Denki up because he would sacrifice his sleeping schedule just to play with his squad.

“Shit,” he cursed into the mic. “Behind the building!”

You, however, is not impressed with the current situation.

Sitting on his bed, you glared daggers at Denki’s back. Mentally cursing him for not giving you the attention you need. You dropped by his room to hang out with him; perhaps a movie or some kinky time, who knows? Heck, Denki himself was the one who invited you to chill with him. And what does he do? Yep, ignore your cute ass and sit in front of his computer like the jerk he is.

“Denki. . .” you lowly muttered, approaching him in a slow pace. “Gimme attention.”

You gently combed your fingers in his hair, making sure to massage his scalp in the process. Denki leaned in your touch, “Mhhmm! Just finishing this last game, babe.”

A line appeared between your brows, mouth curving down in a small frown. “You said that an hour ag—”

“kAcCHAN—Stop shooting me you ass!”

It took all of your sanity to not yank his hair right then and there. You wanted to throw a tantrum at him; to give him a cold shoulder for ignoring you. But then you thought of something better.

Still absorbed in his game, you leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Denki’s lips. He was startled at first, momentarily tearing his gaze off the screen to look at you with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but the look on your face was enough to answer his question.

You want his attention.

“Aww does my wittle baby mish me?”

“That’s fucking gross” you could hear Bakugo comment through his headset.

Nonetheless, the blond ignored his remark. Denki flashed you a smile, raising a hand to cup your cheek. Smooth as he is, he captured your lips in one sweet kiss.

“Gonna leave the round to you, my dudes. My baby needs attention.”

—bakugo katsuki.exe has stopped working

Ah, yes. Bakugo Katsuki, the man, the myth, the legend.

Contrary to popular belief, this personification of a hedgehog is an actual softie. It may not look like it, but Katsuki is adores you 100%. Though, it is understandable that most people wouldn’t believe you if you told them this man has the ability to blush.

Yes, blush. If one is lucky enough, they might witness such a holy sight if they caught him off guard. And that someone is you.

“No, no! You cream the butter and sugar first before the eggs!” he spat, hands darting out to stop you from cracking open an egg. Earlier that day, you suggested that Katsuki and you bake some cookies. It took an hour’s worth of begging, but you’ve managed to convince him to participate in your plan.

You’re quite a baker—if you do say so yourself—but Katsuki has zero confidence in your cooking skills. And so here you are, standing like an idiot while he continuously ridicules your knowledge in the kitchen.

“I’ll let you cream me, if you know what I mean.” You winked at him.

Katsuki stops with what he was doing to shoot you a look, “Don’t even get me started (____).”

You let out a giggle, pinching his cheeks despite his complaints. He mumbled curses under his breath after almost dropping the bowl. At this point, Katsuki’s doing most of the baking while you did most of the pestering. In your defense, how could you properly work on it if he keeps berating you every move you make?

“Aight explosion boy, what can I do to help you?”

He let out a huff, “Go get the vanilla extract.”

You hummed, turning around to search for the item he needs. At the same time, Katsuki opted to go and prepare the mixer for the ease of combining the ingredients later on. Just one problem, this one’s busted.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“What’s up?” you asked, placing the bottle of vanilla extract on the counter before leaning on it.

“Damn thing is not working” he gave the machine one firm smack as if it would help fix it. Katsuki’s nostrils flared, the corners of his lips pointing downwards. You would be lying if you said he doesn’t look cute when he’s angry. He looks like a little angry pomeranian.

Against your better judgment, you leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Now, this isn’t the first time both of you had shared a kiss. In fact, you and him had multiple times already as controlled by hormones. But that doesn’t stop a blush dusting his cheeks and ears.

You pulled away, a smirk on your face as Katsuki froze in his spot. He stared off into the distance, too flabbergasted to respond. It took one full minute before he regained composure.

“You—huh. What?” he stammered. “What was that for?”

“Am I not allowed to kiss you?”

“I-. . .” he sucked in a breath, finding it hard to form words. “Just— just help me with this will you?”

Note to self: always catch Katsuki off guard.

—shouto todoroki is confusion

The sky is as black as tar accompanied by nimbus clouds that slowly covered the whole city. It started with a soft pitter-patter of the rain against the window sill, until it gradually got loud that you have to increase the volume of the movie you and Shouto was watching.

With a thin blanket over your shoulders, both of you intently stared at the screen. A sappy yet heartfelt romantic film on play just the way you like it. The bowl of popcorn, now long rid of its content, sat in between your legs.

The movie had now come to that point wherein the two main leads confessed their love for one another. It was about damn time. The scriptwriters of the show truly did drag the plot way too long that at some point it became rather boring.

Shouto shifted in his seat. You opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong. That is until his arm wrapped around your form, resting his hand just above your hip. A soft smile made its way to your face. Whether it was his intention or not, Shouto had always pulled on your heartstrings and made your heart beat fast with his actions.

“Sho. . .” you called out to him. He hummed, turning his head towards your direction.

Without prior warning, you leaned to press your lips against his. It was short yet sweet, just an unspoken message to show how much you love him. When you pulled away, he had the cutest reaction ever.

He slowly blinked. Mouth falling open in shock. Shouto looked at you with a bewildered expression. Throughout the course of your relationship with him, kisses are barely shared. Hugs? Yes. Holding hands? You betcha. But the fact that he and you just started dating a few weeks ago, both of you were still adjusting to this change of pace.

“Why?”

You chuckled.

“Just wanna.”

He gave you a soft smile, brushing strands of your hair that stuck before placing a chaste kiss on your forehead.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #my hero academy #kaminari x reader #kaminari denki #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #shouto x reader #shouto todoroki #bnha drabble

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jiminrings · 3 years

Note

Can I request a drabble, hobi is kinda like a band singer and Y/N is like his old time friend and they like had a falling out bc he got super successful but years after they're like together again? IS IT TOO SPECIFIC UHM :")

parallel

pairing: hoseok x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: hobi’s kind of an asshole and is vERY much emotionally repressed, y/n’s serotonin is dependent on wearing bridesmaid gowns, the dwindling one-sided pining anD the everlasting question of where the fuck was hoseok when you needed him :D // gif is from pinterest!

notes: this drabble really hits close to home and tysm for the request babe!! even if i’m a month late yeesh :O

you can’t believe yourself either when you say it

but holy shit — weddings are definitely your thing!

there’s something about the union of marriage that gets your head into overdrive but in a gOOD way

there’s just something so pulling about last-minute changes and family drama and awkward trips to the restroom that make your mind mHMMMM THIS IS IT CHIEF

yea granted that not every wedding you go and participate in isn’t exactly straight out of a rom-com

lmao sometimes it’s so obvious that the bride doesn’T love the groom but hey!!! who’s keeping tabs :D

you love wedding environments so much that here you are, two years out of uni and a couple of gigs later — couples are LITERALLY fighting over you

heh not to brag but uh

you weren’t recognized as best wedding planner for two years in a row and have your face in multiple covers of bridal magazines and such

time magazine recognized you as one of the most influential people in the scene last year but hey !!!!! no big deal lads

“i am asking you for just one minute, y/n!! stop being a wedding planner and start being my maid of honor!!”

nayeon exasperates and tugs you by your sleeve, having already noticed your second nature of taking charge the moment you entered the hall

after all, this is just cake tasting! that’s why she’s brought her maid of honor to help her out, nOT immediately go fishing for a clipboard

“well if the planner you hired wasn’t so sloppy-...” it’s a fact! he relies too much on his tablet and doesn’t even have any paper with him, and even if he’s already using a tablet, he doesn’t even use different colors to mark out!

apparently nayeon can’t handle the truth because she’s stamping her hand to your mouth that’s already a frown, about to suffocate you if only you didn’t bite it

>:|

y/n - 1 | jisoo’s hand - 0

you’re just a lil bit cranky alright

the last wedding you’ve catered to was just three days ago, and well you’re thankful for your job!!! really!!! bc not everyone is as booked as you nor sought-for

but there’s something about her wedding that puts you off :((

she’s very kindly yet firmly told you that no, you would absolutely not be her wedding planner and coordinator

“b-but i-“

“i want you to relax! and it’s-...”

“we said-“

“we said when we were kids that we’d plan each other’s wedding, but we didn’t swear on it! and i want you to-...”

“y-you told-“

“i told you that we didn’t have a wedding planner yet so you’d intentionally clear your schedule for me! and here we are-...”

“i’ll cry-“

“aww you big baby, save it for the wedding! i told you, just relax, m’kay? let yoongi handle the planning, and you do the unwinding.”

goddamn yoongi

yoongi who’s a wedding planner in his sPARE time could fuck right off

you don’t care if he’s very persuasive and firm and happened to book nayeon’s wedding even it was peak season :((

you don’t wanna admit it, but being a wedding planner has basically been your personality trait for the past years and it’s hard to cope when your job is to not.... plan and worry

anyways besides that

you’re a little iffy because nayeon’s wedding is your wake-up call

you’ve been planning weddings.... but uh when the FUCK is yours

u are so tempted to put a sock over your head and just yell gIVE ME A RING!!! PUT IT IN THE BAG

unfortunately, you don’t even have someone in your life to readily propose to you

you would have had someone, actually —

if only hoseok didn’t wake up one day and decide to remove you from his life

if only your childhood friend didn’t suddenly decide that you’re not worthy of his attention and time!!!

god he thinks he’s a bigshot

and well yea ok he IS a bigshot

who doesn’t know jung hoseok at this point :((

you’ve always figured that he’d be successful at whatever path he chooses and for a moment, you feel sorry for him that he’s stuck in such a state of mundaneness

he’s stuck between home and school and since he has no choice — you

your each other’s day one!!! the moment your mom went home from the hospital, her first instinct was to knock on hoseok’s mom’s door and then iMMEDIATELY present you to her

the two of them are absolute best friends and why not make our babies the same way ya know????

the two of you were apparently so close as babies that when one was crying, the other would comfort

and you weren’t even a year old then????

you’ve shared cribs and milk bottles and clothes and everything in between with hobi

so why is it that when you’re just almost at the peak of your life with graduation, he just suddenly decides to drop you?

he’s suddenly too cool for you as if he hasn’t spent countless nights crying on your shoulder for any inconveniece that gets brought up

he can’t even meet your eyes :(((

that’s why graduation is the blandest and emptiest day you could recall

hoseok is over there with his bandmates looking the absolute hAPPIEST and you’re there by the corner.,.,. alone by yourself feeling like your cap has the words dropped by jung hoseok :D all over it

he’s at his peak and at the top of his life performing and touring, whenever and wherever

he’s happy

but without you in it :(

the irrational (and probably rational) part in your head is beyond infuriated at him because atleast offer an explanation!!! if you did wrong at one point, then he should tell you!!!

not suddenly pretend that you were nEVER in his life

even his mom feels guilty and ashamed over his son’s actions so she orders flowers from the shop signed underneath your company, then send it back to you

for awhile she tried to pretend that it was hoseok but no :((( that man will physically convulse if he doesn’t add (atleast) three hearts after his name

you hate him so much that you still religiously visit his instagram and wonder if he could see your likes despite a couple other million liking the same posts

you hate him so much that he’s number one on every single thing in your spotify wrapped

you hate him sO much that you wonder who’s behind the songs his band plays and how you’d wish that you’d be the one he’s writing about

“is the cake that... perfect?”

nayeon gently places a hand on your shoulder to which you flinch and she backs off because christ i’m nOT taking the cake away from you!!!

oh my god why are you tearing up

“yeah, yeah! it’s so good. you should try it nayeon!” you’re scrambling to scrape up your plate, almost shoving the fork into her mouth as she squeals with the sudden attack

yoongi has ???? hovering around his head but this is nOT about you my man

he sneaks a look to the bride’s plate and uh-huh... yup..... she has the same moist chocolate fudge cake with coffee ganache on her alright

the topic of hoseok that you bring up to yourself, one that no one knows (not even nayeon!!!), is just something that never seems to vacate your mind fully

it’s been two years and you’re still so touchy and you dON’T KNOW WHY

he probably doesn’t even think about you when he’s drunk and bored

“this champagne must be so... nice?”

nayeon thinks out loud as you’re once again crying into doing your maid of honor duties

she’s a lil worried if she’s being honest but you always whisk her away when she’s about to ask

like right now :D

“are you-...”

“i just can’t believe you’re getting married!! wow, you’re so cool. with the love of your life. then the two of you could be cool together after the wedding. you aren’t gonna forget me once you’re married, are you? nayeon do you think that i would ever be married-...”

you should just accept it now :((

you’re a little bit of a mess and a half underneath your pantsuits and walkie-talkies and the special pride you’d carry whenever the couple mentions you in their wedding speeches

absolutely WHY in the hell do you think about hoseok when it comes to weddings???

it’s almost a pavlovian response when you instruct the people to open the doors and the bride to start walking and your mind would iNSTANTLY think about him

it’s sometimes awkward when the couple would ask ah !!!! ms. y/n u are such a world-renowned wedding planner !!!! your own wedding must’ve been magnificent :D

aha actually about dat.,.,

you get tons of gifts of gratitude from just a single client alone and you don’t have hoseok and his stupidly powerful arms to help carry boxes back to your car

you don’t have him to give untouched and left-over flowers to

you don’t have him to remind you when you’re getting a little ahead of yourself over just talking to sponsors and trying to squeeze in as much as you could for an initial budge

you don’t have hoseok, in all his glory, to put his hand on the small of your back when you’re talking to how you need the fireworks to start the moment the band starts playing ice ice baby and the vendor does nOT need to know why it’s the song chosen by the couple

it’s what he’d do when you’re trying to fit two semesters’ worth of notes into a pricey A3 notebook that you’ve bought

and just how many weddings do you plan and coordinate, even within just a span of two week?

a lot.

often.

you think about hoseok a lot. often. oftenly a lot.

but aha nOT TODAY!!!

today’s nayeon’s wedding and you’re not gonna ruin it for her by projecting your yearning into your best friend’s wedding that clearly isn’t yours

10/10 she’d probably stop reciting her vows to ask you why you’re sniffling

your only source of distraction is your gown!!!

your maid of honor is the absolute pRETTIEST and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel gorgeous in it

it’s floor-length silk!!! fLOOR-LENGTH !! SILK !! GOWN

it’s in a deep mauve with an off-shoulder situation and a little risqué bit of cleavage!!! cinches right at the top of your waist and poofs a little and oh my god mayhaps you aRE pretty

god hoseok may have not written you a song, but sean kingston dEFINITELY did

nayeon knew you’d be catching everyone’s attention as much as her wedding dress would and she’s absolutely happy and fine with it!!

in fact she’s strategically practiced her throws for her bouquet so you’d catch it and your gown would nOt go to waste

having a wedding happen right where you are, but being in it as a guest instead of a planner, is just so much... calmer

you’re not fixing the chaos but you’re just watching it!!! if you feel a little more bubbly then you’re gonna partake in it hee-hee

yoongi’s actually not so bad

he could just be a little too lax which ends up with him being lost and distraught

you could see so much of you in him when you were just starting out and it’s endearing actually

(( nayeon’s told you in passing that she once told yoongi that you were her best friend and he looked both intimidated and awed at the same time ))

the only thing you help yoongi with is sending him a thumbs-up every now and then and he perks uP because that’s the signal that he’s doing a good job and not fucking up

nayeon looks so beautiful and you’re already tearing up fixing her veil :((

you know how wedding photographers and videographers LOVE people crying???? they r probably eating your shit up so quick that you won’t be surprised if you take up atleast half of the same-day edit of their wedding film

there’s something so serene about the hecticness everyone’s indulged themselves in

you’re grinning when you walk down the aisle because you realize that omg you haven’t doNE this in a long time!!!

the last time you did was testing out the aisle for a client that wanted it ala crazy rich asians and you had to walk back and forth cOLD-ASS water with damp rolled-up pant cuffs before they got the temperature and the levels right

nah you should definitely know how it’d be because after all :D you aRE the consultant for that scene in crazy rich asians :D no biggie :D

it’s such a serene blast to see everyone happy and in their element

you’re sitting the reception out bc yoongi very kindly pleaded to please give him notes and promising that he’d never tell it to anyone else

the whole planning process for nayeon and not oNCE did he bring a notebook..,., but he just hAPPENS to have one when you’re telling him how to say no to your client

“listen, you have to tell them in the sincerest way possible, that you tried everything. it gets them going when you tell them that you even pleaded with the vendors, but don’t go too low on your knees, alright? and then after that, you say a strict no. no, because their choice of flowers is absolutely sHIT for their tie-dye theme they’re so adamant about!”

yoongi has never listened so intently

not even when his roommate lists out their grocery checklist

“mhmm. and if they still push, should i give them an ultimatum? or tell them about a wedding that totally happened that did exactly what they were planning, and how much the guests hated it?”

okay nOW he’s talking

“what you do is...”

the buzz of the reception never really dies down because it’s barely even starting!! the couple’s still finishing up on their pictorial which gives everyone time to get to the venue and freshen up or get last-minute gifts lmao

you know that it’s starting when the band or the dj starts doing polished mic checks

mic check! one, two, three! sKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRA

no, no

there’s something definitely wrong

the rolling and the lull of routine words just seem so familiar

mic check! J-A-Y! H-O-P-E! J-HOPE! jung-...

fucking

gOD

that’s hoseok.

that is most dEFINITELY hoseok

you turn your back to see the stage set-up and god...... fuck

it’s someone you haven’t seen in the flesh for two years yet spent the years of your life with before that

he looks sickening in his black mandarin-collared suit with thick white lining on it wITH his hair styled up and parted to the site

it’s even more sickening for you because you don’t actually know if you can mANAGE to be here

you’re standing up abruptly and yoongi squawks at that because he is the furthesT thing from being finished about asking how to make the guests arrive on time without holding a field trip assembly-like type of line with the megaphone

the fastest way out was dashing through the front part and you must have forgotten that hoseok has a knack for catching things with his perfectly good eyesight

“y/n?”

ok what now

he mumbles your name to the mic, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes trail the speed-walking speck of mauve from in front of him

his little question to himself must have gotten people more than curious

they’re already mORE than curious because it’s his goddamn band that’s playing!!!! and the fees are not cheap and it’s practically impossible to book them!!!

but jungkook, their drummer, was a close friend of the groom’s and alright.,.,. okay maybe we CAN play at weddings now

ok hoseok’s mind is probably just playing tricks on him and he should finish setting up before the lights dim again for what they insist is the 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻

but then he can’t help but look oNE last time

then he sees the watch he’s gifted you on his wrist — one that he was supposed to give you at graduation but later made his mom give it to you instead and not say that it was from him

...

....

whew he might need his inhaler for this one and he doesn’t even hAVE asthma

oh my god what the hELL is hoseok doing here????

you haven’t seen him for two years, and the moment you do, it’s in your best friend’s wedding with no date present??

you’re clearly panicking and the only form of caffeine you’ve gotten is the pre-game of getting a few bites from the coffee ganache in nayeon’s wedding cake that she was munching on while getting her makeup done

you know what!! it’s fine

it’s totally fine :D

hoseok is just hoseok and you’re not gonna be intimated by the man you’ve been loving in the sidelines from practically your whole life :D

it’s not a big deal!

besides, people are looking for you bc you’re supposed to give the opening toast to welcome nayeon and her groom in

you’re walking, you’re talking, aaaaaaaand-

yeah this is not nOT a big deal

you’re crumbling from the inside out because seeing hoseok is just too painful after two years of wondering where you could’ve went wrong and what could’ve happened if the two of you didn’t fall out

you feel especially bitter when hoseok starts singing their famous song about love and everything in between

everyone’s sWOONING and on their feet and you’re literally just there vibrating with how furious you are

you keep downing the good champagne as iF it’s gonna get you drunk

yoongi has a clue that the server must be a little dizzy having to go and back forth to your table so he just offers his portion to you

you’re so goddamn busy and absorbed with loathing him that you don’t even turn your back to notice that his eyes keep flickering to you

even at the cheesiest lyric, hobi expects that you’d atleast LOOK at him for that one but nOOOO your champagne flute and the blondie beside you is just much more interesting

you’re buzzing with anger that you aren’t enjoying this reception At All

you fail to even recognize that nayeon’s intentionally had your favorite food to be served!!! and you have an extra portion delivered to your table!!!

you just want your suffering to eND wow absolutely how much longer could this go

you’re so busy with cussing the whole ordeal in your head that you didn’t even notice how the band isn’t playing anymore and instead everyone’s swooning over the cake

it’s lost in you that hoseok’s shooed yoongi from his chair, sitting right beside you and even scooting closer until his knees bump to your own

and that’s when it sinks in

hobi doesn’t even have time to tell you how beautiful you look because you’ve gone straight to seething him

“for the record, i want you to know that i hate you.”

...

okay hoseok didn’t expect that

for all he knows, the two of you even vOWED to never say the h word even if it’s meant jokingly!!

it’s a lethal word and the two of you collectively agreed to never play with it in regards to saying to one another

but well here you are

you’re saying it as if you’ve never been more sure of anything in your whole life

you feel actually relieved to say it to him right to his face, a miniscule weight lifted from your shoulders while your arms are crossed just by looking at him

hoseok does you one better with a timid chuckle, looking down on his rings that he’s fiddling with nervously

“yeah. i hate me too.”

.... oh

you’re perplexed at his reply so much so that you’re speechless

you’ve been keeping to yourself what you should say to him the moment you see him for two years and now that he agrees to what you’ve just said.,.,.,

oh fuck that

“i hate you so much, hoseok! i don’t even know what i did wrong and i asked even your own mother what’s wrong with me! did you know that you are, without a doubt, so fucking selfish???”

you exclaim as quietly as you could but that doesn’t stop people from glancing because the two most-known people in the room, besides the bride and groom, are having what seems to be an... intimate conversation with how close the two of you are??

“did you even try once to consider how painful it was for me to wonder why i just am the way that i am? or is that even too big of an inconveniece for you to think about because you’re so busy?”

“did you suddenly get too big for me, huh?” you ask straightly without malice, not even thinking about the double meaning because clearly, you’re too PRESSED lightly jabbing your finger to his chest

right he deserves that

hoseok’s fucked up big-time, that much he knows

his eyes are actually stinging right now and he would ask you for your handkerchief that you used to always carry for him but uH he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that

“why couldn’t you just tell me what was in your mind? you know that nothing would change whatever it was that-”

“i love you, okay?”

hoseok interrupts you with his mumble before he sets his eyes down once again on your watch

you’re speechless for long this time

“..... w-what?”

okay maybe he fucked up even more

“listen i-...”

“if you love me, a single text wouldn’t have hurt, hobi!!”

your chest doesn’t hurt anymore but it iS constricting with the amount of emotions and scenarios you’re trying to process

he’s kinda lost because oh my god you aren’t mAD anymore!!

and you don’t look fazed that he just declared his love for you

“i dropped you because i-i — i don’t want the people i love seeing me fuck up, y’know? i finished uni for the sake of it, and i didn’t even know if the band thing would work out!!”

“but baby it dID work out!!!!”

jesus christ hoseok may be a fucking iDIOT

you’re shaking him by the shoulders and he actually has to stand up so he wouldn’t fall by your ministrations

you feel so happy because your processing was just about to be finished, equal parts relieved and happy and maybe a tiny bit confused still

“it did work out because look at you now!! hobi, you could’ve just called me and i would’ve accepted the call before it even rings!!” you’re happily frustrated with him that you push him until the two of you are in the dance floor, his mouth curving up both in disbelief and giddiness

“i didn’t because i thought-...”

he’s interrupted by a swift and tight hug to his middle, his arms moving on their own to envelope you in his warmth

the top of your head still smells the same :D

his purpose is lost before he gathers his bearings once again, freezing in his stance before weakly attempting to push you off

“... you were married.”

the harsh sQUINT of your eyes you’re giving him prompt him to explain

why is he so nervous

“i-i go to your instagram? and well you uh, you posted this pic of you in the middle of the aisle???? you had your back turned and your silhouette’s seen then you were holding a bouquet!!! then after that, i-i never opened your account. jesus christ, is your husband here with you, y/n? what am i supposed to-...”

the realization’s starting to sink into hoseok because it’s something he’s shoved to the back of his head and now he’s seeing it straight-on

you’re throwing your head back laughing at him :D

great

now he’s both heartbroken AND a fool

there’s a gentle kiss on his cheek, one he didn’t expect and one he doesn’t hate

“i’m a wedding planner.”

god now this is just so fucking funny

the two of you fell out and remained distanced because of just a series of unprecedented miscommunications!!!

the whole thing is so ridiculous that it actually feels light and relieving to talk about

“you’re.... a wedding planner,” he mumbles once again for confirmation, his loose arms around your waist now tightening

oh my god

hoseok starts chuckling to himself out of delight, turning to full-on cackles with you at how much the two of you have just been beside each other like parallel lines

“i need to make up the past two years to you.”

he declares seriously as a promise, pressing a tender wet kiss to your cheek that gets you giggling

“only if you write me a song,” you do him one better, kissing him on the corner of his mouth

“don’t you know that most of them are about you? anyways, you should plan our wedding once it happens,” he’s forward with his words, having waited long enough that he nuzzles his nose to yours

you’re gonna do him one even better

you’re gonna go right for the kill, the truth spilling out of you before you kiss him longingly, for the first time that it feels that it’s been something you’ve always yearned for

“don’t you know that you’re in my mind for every single one?”

#feedback pls and thank you :D YEEEEET LAST PIECE FOR 2020!!!!#hoseok #jung hoseok #hoseok imagine #hoseok imagines #hoseok drabble #hoseok drabbles #hoseok au #hoseok oneshot #hoseok oneshots #hoseok x reader #hoseok x y/n #hoseok angst #hoseok angst imagine #hoseok fluff #hoseok fluff imagine #hoseok fluff imagines #hoseok fic rec #hoseok fic recs

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olivonie · 3 years

Text

biggest fan ; atsumu miya

(1) "maybe he's my laptop wallpaper"

synopsis ; you are the youngest bokuto, and the biggest atsumu miya fan in all history (self proclaimed) so just your luck that a threat from your older brother to go to his game ends in you meeting your celebrity crush, and trying to not freak out, but oh what chaos ensues...

perfumers guide ; is the best friend literally just me inserting into my OWN FANFIC?? W A BOKUTO LOVE STORY? yeah fuck off let me have what i want its my fanfic motherfucker,, u, our beautiful mc, are a fangirl/boy/them/idc,, also i referred to ur friend as ur friend the whole fic, might give them an alias later on but idk for now,, tysm to my loves @scouts-ahoy and my bestie indigo for betaing for me <3 ily guys sm <3

perfume ingredients ; light cursing, rlly funny friend, fanperson-ing???, idk tw atsumu miya/j, bokuto being a butthead brother, gn reader (hopefully it comes across as such), omi being a bad friend/j,, cheesy corny romance movie esc love story <33,, written like a wattpad fanfic so sucks for u

word count ; 1388 words

“I can’t believe he blackmailed me like that!” You cried out, standing outside the building of the volleyball game you were attending.

“Don’t pretend you weren’t gonna show up anyways. Besides, he got us front row seats! Isn’t that awesome!” Your friend of many years squealed, adjusting his shirt before turning to you with a smirk, “Plus~ after, we’re going to dinner with your future boyfriend~” They teased, and you squeaked, chasing after them as they laughed. You both got in line and entered the building, packed full of people as you talked while walking to your seats according to your tickets.

A week prior your brother, Kotaro, had burst into your room in the apartment you shared, jumping on the bed and shoving two tickets to his next game. You had said you would buy your own tickets, since you wanted to be independent and were sick of relying on "big bro ko ko" but he interrupted you, threatening that if you didn’t take them he would tell Atsumu, his teammate, about your “big fat enormous super fan googly disgusting mushy gushy crush” on him and so you begrudgingly took the tickets. You decided to go with your friend, who was more excited to see your brother than the actual game.

“I can't believe you’re a brother banger…” You murmured. Your friend turned to you, a look of mock betrayal on their face.

“Honey Boo Bear! You dare think I’d cheat on you my beloved snookums?!” They said overdramatically and very loudly. You giggled, playing along with their antics with a smile.

“Pumpkin wumpkin! I can see you have feelings for another who is not me!”

“No! My cuddle wuddle baby poo I would never!-” They said, cut off by your laughter, followed by their own. Of course, even if you were pissed at Ko for blackmailing you into going, you couldn’t deny your excitement to see the Atsumu Miya, who had been the apple of your eye since you first saw him play with your brother. You had created a fan twitter for him for christs sake! That fucking enamored. But, even if he was on the same team with Kotaro, you had never met him face to face.

You had dazed off and couldn’t see nor hear your friend, before they had shaken you back into consciousness.

“Oi! The game is about to start, dumbass!” They said, and you turned to look, seeing both teams enter the court. Your friend screamed and chanted when they saw Kotaro, who waved at the both of you with energy filled motions. And then, as if in slow motion, entered the “love of your life.”

He was like a renaissance statue, carved from the finest marble and shaped into this beauty. His eyes were filled with life as he waved to all his fans, and when he swept his gaze over to where you were standing, it felt as if time stopped. It was like that scene from every cheesy romcom movie where the main character’s heart pounded erratically, and just like in a movie, the breath from your lungs was stolen away. Were you in heaven? This is totally heaven right?

His eyes. Oh, his eyes. Like molten gold, the sun's reflection on a lake. Like the sweetest caramel, that you could practically taste on your tongue. Atsumu seemed frozen as well, before Shoyo came over and shook him awake, turning to the court with a single glance back at you.

“Oh my god I think I might die.” You said, practically falling into your companions arms, who raised a brow at you.

“Are you okay? What happened?” They asked, a concerned expression on their face.

“Did you not see?!?! We made eye contact!! For like! A minute! And now I’ve fallen in love with him and I want his children!” You screamed, and they clasped a hand over your mouth quickly.

“One, crowded area, don’t say that shit out loud. Two, what’s the big deal? Weren’t you already in love with him?” They said, tilting their head to the side to look at you.

“Yes but like we’d never made eye contact! And I’m like! His biggest fan!” You squeaked, your voice cracking as you cleared it, looking desperately at your friend.

“How big?” They asked, and you gave an exasperated sigh.

“Maybe he’s my laptop wallpaper..” You murmured, twiddling your hands together. “Laptop wallpaper” had been an inside joke between you two to measure the depth of your obsession. Laptop wallpaper being the biggest, and twitter profile picture being the lowest.

“Oh my god big big…” They whispered, and you two continued to talk over your dilemma as the game went on.

As the game came to an end, with another victory for the Jackals, the two of you ran down the steps with special access passes, also gifted to you by Kotaro, and ran to congratulate the team. There was a sappy moment where your friend jumped into Kotaro’s arms rambling about how amazing he was, as he walked over to you and raised his hand for a high five, which you begrudgingly gave.

“You suck, butthead.” You said with a smile, and he grinned at you, as you walked off to a brooding black haired man, who was staring off in another dimension before you called his name, “Hey Omi! You did great!” You cheered, and he turned to you with a semi-smile.

“Thanks little Bokuto.” He said, and you rolled your eyes.

“The least you could do is say my name!” “I think little Bokuto works just fine.”

“Omiiii! That is so cruel and mean! I am going to report you on Stop It!” You said, and he laughed. Kiyoomi has been your friend since high school. You didn’t like the idea of being overshadowed by your brother, so you chose a school where no one would recognize you as his sibling, and bumped into Kiyoomi. Literally. And decided to stick around the brooding loner who preferred to eat lunch on the rooftop away from the hordes of people.

“So, did you totally fitz out when Miya came on court?” He said with a knowing smirk, causing your face to heat up as you cried out in protest.

“I did not!”

“They totally did.” Shoyo interrupted, and you spun around to throw a fake punch at him. He dodged with ease and stuck his tongue out at you, and you did the same.

“Shut up!” You yelled, groaning when the two laughed at you, “I’m gonna wait outside for you guys! And Omi! You smell horrible!” You cried, grinning in triumph at his annoyed face, looking at himself covered in sweat and sighing.

You walked out of the gym, waiting outside the doors as you said you would, opting to scroll through your phone idly.

“Yer Bokuto’s sibling right?” A light voice asked by your ear, which caused you to jump and throw a punch out of instinct. A groan and head of blonde hair that you’d seen hundreds of times in twitter edits and your dreams made you gasp. “You sure know how to throw a punch huh? Yowch,” Atsumu grunted, holding his stomach as you panicked and apologized, to which he laughed, “It’s okay! I didn’t give no warnin’ so I scared ya! I get it!” He said, and you blushed profusely.

You just punched your celebrity crush in the stomach, there goes your dreams of a fanfiction type first meeting. You sighed, putting your hand out to shake his as you introduced yourself.

“I’m Atsumu Miya.” “Well obviously.” You said and then gasped at how rude that must’ve sounded. You were about to apologize again until he laughed. He looked at you with those eyes again.

“Yer real funny! I hope yer goin’ to dinner with us, it’d be totally boring without ya.” He said, and you nodded.

“Of course, I promised my brother.” You said, and he did a small fist bump, before pausing and taking out his phone, passing it to you.

“Put yer number in there, pretty please.” He said, and you nodded, typing your phone number and name. He smiled when you handed his phone back, checking the time before whispering curses, “Fuck, I still gotta change, but I’ll see ya at the dinner kay? See ya round pretty!” He called and you waved goodbye blushing at the compliment and chuckling before the realization set in.

“OH MY GOD I JUST GAVE MIYA ATSUMU MY NUMBER HOLY FUCK”

extra;;

"you are so loud..."

"shut up ko you're fat."

olivonie 2021

reblogs are welcome !! pls !!!!

#olivonie ;;#biggest fan ;;#atsumu miya ;;#haikyuu ;;#I AM SO TIRED THIS TOOK...FOREVER???? FOR WHAT???????#guys pls reblog like i beg u #i will kiss ur feet #also atsumu #help the yer brought me pjhysical pain....#why is he like this.......#ALSO IM SRRY FOR TERRIBLE CHARACTERIZATION I SUCK </333

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heart-suguru · 2 years

Note

hey i hope ur doing good !!! i hate hate hate people who rush writers on their works so pls do not take this that way but i was wondering when another part of "a side of sugar" is coming out bc holy shit i am just so in love levi ackerman AND ALSO APPARENTLY THE READER IN THIS STORY TOO ?!?!?! u made us so sexy to me holy shit :o anyways i hope u have a nice day or night or whatever and remember to take care of urself pls !!

hi hi anon goodmorning :D this ask literally sparked an idea in me for some reason so ty omg ;-;

BUT im honestly not sure when the next part will come out, ive been feel very unmotivated with asos because im kind of stuck with my writing even though i have the whole story planned out. its been hard to like— connect all the part together smoothly and ive already re-written the introduction to chapter 5 like three times T___T im trying tho!!

i hope seeing levi in next episode will give me more motivation LOL but tysm for reading i appreciate u sm :O <3

#berry’s mail #the way im sprinting to my docs to write down this idea b4 i forget #i just got up for work #and this message is so sweet #mwaaaa :*#♡︎berry’s works: asos #🍥fic updates

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midastouches · 4 years

Text

why i love long live (2010)

i really could break this down line by line but i will not micha this is for u honey enjoy <3

Long Live

I had this best guy friend, since like sixth grade. We really only became friends because he started dating my best girl friend and i actually dated his best friend for like a solid two weeks because well, sixth grade relationships :) ANYwho, me and this bgf would talk a lot because we spent a lot of time together because of my bff/his girlfriend. Anywho, eventaully our conversations got really deep and I developed a huge huge crush on him that I couldn’t admit because well, he was dating my best friend.

flash forward a few years later when i finally actually have my own phone and can talk to him, he and my best friend go through this huge messy breakup that essentially means I have to pick a side and can never talk to the other one. I pick the boy that this point i’ve had a crush on for four? years at this point of my best friend (this is actually one of my biggest regrets, and yes, me and girl bff made up later that year on valentines day wow im so bisexual woo)

we end up getting super close, and we talk a lot. i learn that he used to cut himself, except he would do it on his back so no one could see. i would tell him about how much i hate my body, how uncomfortable it makes me and how much i hate eating and gaining weight. we would talk about our depression and the things we hated about high school, and I really though he would fall for me, I did.

He didn’t.

I learned about his new girlfriend later that day at a winter strength and speed session. She was blonde, blue eyes, and i somehow convinced myself that she was essentially going to be someone he dated until I turned sixteen and would be able to date him. I recognize now how utterly stupid that was of me just to assume that, assume someone’s feeling were only a placeholder.

Anyway, high school goes on, and we’re still super close, but there’s now a buffer. I turn sixteen, he and this girl still date. He turns sixteen. They still date. My anorexia gets even worse and my junior years goes to shit. I find it in myself that I can’t talk to him, I can’t be that girl who obsesses over someone elses. So, I simply start to remove myself from him for my own well-being. I put my feelings for in a denial mode and I start to flirt with other people, other boys that make me think I’m moving on, but I’m not.

Because everytime I get a text or a snapchat from him, my whole face lights up and I know I’m fucked.

And to my credit, I was not othe only one trying to convince myself he felt something for me. Countless other people in my high school shipped us, countless other people could tell I had a crush on him and they would tell me all the ways they could tell he secretly liked me. It made the narrative continue and my feelings for him were still buried. I couldn’t tell him, I wouldn’t tell him. I was not going to jeopardize our friendship, his relationship with his girlfriend all because I had a dumb crush on him. I just kept thinking it’ll go away, it’ll go away.

It didn’t, but again, let’s go into the denial phase.

Hit senior year. We barely talk now except for in person stuff, mainly because I’m trying to convince myself that he doen’t care about me at all. We’re both in cross country though so August hits and I see him eevery day. Except that I think the crush has faded a bit, and I’ve got this other guy I’m talking to, one who makes me feel seen and compliments me and is just overall an amazing guy. Septemeber passes by, now I have a boyfriend and there’s homecing nominations coming up. He gets nominated, I get nominated. I joke to my boyfriend that I’m not going to win, I’m not part of the popular crowd. He bets that I will win.

This boy texts me in class later that month, after everyone’s voted and now the boy and girl our paired. He send a photo with the pairings and oh look, we’re paired together. All I can think is fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There’s a ton of homecoming events, lots of pictures, and we’ll be in every single one of them together.

(also one of the dress up days for homecoming that week is goth day and he gets smudged eyeliner put on him and i just about lose it)

spring forward to the pep rally and we’re all down there, facing eachother, me holding a rose covered in foil and tape with about a dozen other couples surrounding us. I’m looking at him, he’s looking at me.

They finally tell us to unravel the roses and i can’t. i’m struggling. just about every other girl has their rose unwrapped but I don’t hear any screaming yet, no winner has been declared. I’m looking at him and he’s got a damn smirk on his face watching me struggle when I finally get. The homecoming queen is announced when she is holding a red rose.

As I finally get the foil off and stare at the rose in shock, I realize it’s as red as sin. The whole gymansium goes up in a roar of celebration and all the sudden he’s hugging me so tight tight tight and I’m hugging him back just as tight but we’re being pulled from eachother and the other girls who lost are hugging me and I glance back and he’s just go this huge smile on my face and

holy shit we won. holy fuck shit. we aren’t popular in the way the others were. we were just a rag tag team of a girl and boy and we fucking won.

we’re crowned king and queen and the entire time long live by taylor swift is stuck in my head.

the photos of us are gorgeous. the candids, the staged. our crowns.

and everytime i look back at them i just think of this:

I said remember this moment In the back of my mind The time we stood with our shaking hands The crowds in stands went wild We were the kings and the queens And they read off our names The night you danced like you knew our lives Would never be the same You held your head like a hero On a history book page It was the end of a decade But the start of an age

flash foward to today. We don’t really talk at all. Occasionally I see him on a run, or at his work. Occasionally we’ll see eachother around, but it’s never awkward. He always brings the same grin to my face that makes me wonder if he ever knew.

I still love to look at the photos. Every smile, every laugh.

I think I’ll be in love with him forever. I think that a part of my heart will always belong to him, and I don’t think he’ll ever know. But I hope that sometimes, just sometimes I linger a bit too long in his mind as well.

Hold on to spinning around Confetti falls to the ground May these memories break our fallCan you take a moment Promise me this: That you'll stand by me forever But if God forbid fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine

Long live the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life with you

This is why Long Live is one of my favorite songs. It provides this amazing narrative for me to relate one of the greatest people who have ever touched my life. As far as I’m aware, he doesn’t have tumblr, so he’ll never actually see this, but yeah, that’s kinda it. if you read this far, tysm and I hope you have an amazing day <3

and for one moment a band of thieves and ripped up jeans got to rule the world.

#self harm trigger warning #anorexia trigger warning #suicide trigger warning #depression trigger warning #i hope i tagged these triggers right please lmk if i didn't ill fix them asap #micha hope u read this all #long live by taylor swift #ill forever scream this song in my car #i actually connect this boy to treachorous #the 1 #and a few other songs by taylor #but they all stem like this #he was the one that got away and now im too much of a coward to tell him how i feel #ive written countless letters #to him but i know i could never send them without hurting someone in the process #i don't know if he's ever felt an inkling of the love i have for him #but dear god i want him in my life forever #even if i cant #yeah this is me admitting that basically ive been in love with a guy for about eight years going on nine and ive never told him ahh fuck me #anyway enjoy reading this #<3 #to the mutuals that know me in real life u didn't see this for the sake of my humanity #and if any of u tell him i will execute u with a guilotine i am not going to wreck his happiness #he deserves the world

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