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#and i always get stepped down and every single pain i feel is ''nothing''
sleep-nurse · 6 months
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I hope you're able to get out of your situation soon and find a community of people who will care about you and take your pain seriously/gen
thank you 😭😭 literally the only people who care about my wellbeing is legit just you guys it's insane
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blughxreader · 11 months
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Soft yandere Miguel O’Hara
cw: noncon, breeding, kidnapping, m masturbation, biting, SPOILERS. Headcanons and drabble. 1.4k words.
Mean dom Miguel is so hot, but I find that soft yan Miguel has so much overlap with canon.
This man still does all the sick and deplorable things a villain does, but in a way that's strangely tender.
I mean, you simultaneously have to be a sweet man and a stone-cold motherfucker to step in the shoes of your dead counterpart and con his family into thinking everything is fine. Like, he (eventually) fucked a dead man's wife, adopted his child, and seamlessly integrated into his shoes.
While certainly calloused, it also reveals a profound desperation for love and a willingness to do anything for it.
Enter you: a Spider from a random dimension that got caught up in an anomaly's destruction. Maybe your world was destroyed or it's emotionally difficult for you to return, so you end up spending a lot of time at HQ.
Miguel doesn't notice you for a while. There's hundreds of Spiders milling about the base, so it's only until you befriend Peter B and his baby that you get acquainted.
You draw him in without trying, no matter the walls that Miguel puts up. He needs to focus—everyone's very existence is at stake, dammit,—but by month five, you're the only thing he can think about.
His advances start off slow, bogged down by his own exasperation at himself. You're ordered to give in-person de-briefs in Miguel's office and get invited to lunch with him and Peter B, giving you the impression of an upcoming promotion. Miguel is as poised as ever, not letting a single stray emotion color his expression, and talks to you in an aloof, polite manner.
However uninterested he might seem, his insides tighten and flutter at your growing friendship. Every time you smile or secretly share a bemused look, he sinks deeper and deeper in his desire to have you.
Proximity-wise, Miguel vacillates between sitting next to you, close enough for your elbows to brush, and standing 30 feet away on his podium for the next week.
His involuntary, physical reactions startle him, and it becomes another contention he internally wars about. The second he thinks it's harmless to brush against you, it divulges into grabbing—cupping—pinning—fucking—ruining.
God, he fucking loathes the powerless feeling you inflict on him, but he doesn't have the strength to put an end to your friendship. He furiously jerks off after every meeting, biting into his hand to punish himself as he comes to the thought of you swollen with his child.
He thinks of all the deplorable ways to make you pay for causing these feelings, but he ultimately knows the blame lies within him. You see him as a boss and friend, nothing more. You would never intentionally drag him down to this state, so he bottles up all these feelings for your protection.
It takes a particularly bad mission for his control to break.
Whatever reservations he had about locking you in his bedroom evaporate when he sees you covered in blood and rubble. Protecting you from himself was one thing, but the thousands of universes?
You didn't realize what happened until you woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom, weary from pain medication.
He takes your fear, anger, and tears in stride.
While he can't shake his bitchy personality, his annoyance always fizzles out to mumbles and sighs. For months, he takes your verbal abuse and outbursts with resigned acceptance. Miguel didn't always like what he had to do, but he would commit any atrocity if it meant keeping you at his side.
He moves some of his work at home to spend more time with you, just content to occupy the same room while you adjusted to your new situation.
Your shared apartment is quiet most days, save for sporadic outbursts of rage from you, and Miguel daydreams about having a few little kids running around to fill the void.
He stares at you most evenings, watching you curled up on the couch pointedly ignoring him. Miguel thinks you wouldn't be so belligerent if you needed him for something, if you craved his presence and help in some way.
Miguel's mind always drifts back to his favorite fantasies on nights like these: you nine months pregnant and too big for anything other than his shirts. His eyes drift down to your stomach, to the place where you could make his dreams come true.
Patience is something Miguel prides himself on, which is why he puts up with the loneliness for nearly a year after bringing you home. You were given ample time to warm up to him and he's been nothing but kind. Every broken plate and spoiled food, every scratch across his face, every insult—he let you have your way in hopes that you'll eventually recognize him as your lover.
But no. You complained and struggled every step of the way.
Miguel could never hurt you, but he realized that more permanent and assertive measures had to be taken to make you see that you need and love him as much as he does you.
---
When he finally takes you, there's hardly any space between your bodies. There are months of touch starvation to make up for and Miguel is compensating all at once.
His entire 6'9" stature pins you to his bed, locking you between arms as large as your thighs. Miguel is the only thing you see or feel, as his hands caress every dip and curve of your body and his cock grinds against your slit.
With your legs helplessly hiked up around his waist and one of his hands pinning your wrists above your head, he makes love to you with a slow burning intensity.
Your fear and disgust are palpable, but between his sweet voice in your ear and his fingers somehow knowing the rhythm and speed to play with your clit, you're more wet than you've ever been.
"Shh, shh, mi cornazón. I have you." Miguel kisses your jaw, his cock rocking in and out of your aching heat with an agonizingly slow pace. "Just breathe steadily and let me take care of you."
He's too big inside of you, and your grunts of pain make him linger in place to help you adjust. When his stride picks up and the wet sounds of sex fill the bedroom, disgust roils in your stomach. Yet fuck, fuck, fuck, your body temperature rises with each stroke.
Miguel kisses you deeply, using his free hand to hold your head in place. He says, "It's time. I've been so patient. Be brave for me and take our baby."
He swallows your horrified pleading with another scorching kiss.
Your pussy clenches around his dick and your breath catches in your throat. Miguel hugs you tighter, his nose pressed into your hair as he angles himself just right. When the first waves of your orgasm make your head dip back, the sharp edge of fangs scratch your neck.
You barely register his mantra of, "Te amo," when his jaw clamps down on your shoulder. Blood spurts from between his teeth, and you cry out in confused pain as your orgasm shakes your body.
Miguel moans into your flesh seconds later, pumping his cum deep inside you. His thrusting is uncoordinated and rough, too blinded by pleasure to notice how powerful his pounding is. The mattress springs whine beneath you two, and you can only cry from the overwhelming treatment.
He milks every last drop of cum into your cunt before he begins to slow. Both of you gasp for breath, your chests heaving against one another's as sweat cools on your hot skin.
He keeps you plugged up for a while longer to give the conception time. His bloodied lips drag across the wound on your shoulder, peppering you with kisses as he trails red along your neck.
A sob shutters in your chest as Miguel runs a palm along your stomach.
"You'll understand soon. I promise. This will be the best thing that's ever happened to us."
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steddieas-shegoes · 3 months
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It’s been done in every which way but Eddie being in an accident of some kind that leaves him paralyzed, but his doctors believe he could walk again with intense physical therapy
He’s stubborn and absolutely hasn’t dealt with any of the trauma of the accident and takes it out on his physical therapist, Steve, who is used to patients being pretty angry about their situation
He always meets Eddie where he is though, tries to keep a smile on his face and joke when appropriate and even shares his cookies from his lunchbox with him
Eventually, Eddie starts making some progress, but instead of being happy about it, he panics and cancels all his PT appointments for the week
Steve tries calling, texting, emailing, doing everything he can to encourage him to keep going, but it all goes unanswered until Gareth, one of Eddie’s closest friends, calls him on Eddie’s phone
He’s depressed and he won’t get out of bed, he’s given up. He’s tired of being in pain and having to try to so hard just to move his damn legs a little
Steve isn’t usually this personal with clients, and tells Gareth he can’t discuss anything medical with him due to patient confidentiality, but insists he should try to drag him to the office the next day before it opens
And somehow, probably through guilt, Gareth manages to wheel a very sullen and grumpy Eddie into the side door entrance to the office at seven in the morning
Steve tells him to come back in an hour to pick him up and Eddie ignores the goodbye Gareth says to him
And Steve pretends nothing is wrong at all, goes through the usual temperature and blood pressure check, asks how he’s feeling and gets a grunt in response, asks if there’s any pain and gets an eye roll
But Eddie met his match in Steve because Steve then pushes him to the center of the workout room, where a large mat is out and a walker is set to the side
“What’s that?”
“Your walker.”
“I don’t need one seeing as I can’t fucking walk.”
“You are today.”
And Steve knows he’s pushing and he hates being pushy
But he knows what his clients are capable of, and he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Eddie is ready to use the walker for five to ten minute increments. He has the leg strength and the stubbornness, he just needs the belief in himself
“Do you want me to hurt myself worse?”
“Of course not. And if you get tired, the seat on the walker is right there. But you can walk and you will walk.”
“And if I call Gareth to come get me right now?”
“Then I don’t believe my services are of value to you anymore and I’ll wish you the best.”
It pained Steve to say it because he knew he was fucking good at what he did, maybe the best in town. His clients often had to wait for his availability to open for weeks or months at a time because of how many people were referred to him
But he said the right thing because Eddie huffed, groaned, and cursed under his breath before wheeling himself to the edge of the mat to hold onto the walker
He pulled himself up
His legs were shaking from not being used for the last few days more than the bare minimum, but his determination was clear
Steve slowly pulled the chair away as Eddie unlocked the brakes of the walker and glared at Steve as he took one step, then two
Sure, he was relying pretty heavily on the walker, maybe more than Steve would’ve liked to see, but he was moving
He made it across the mat and then locked the brakes, sat down on the pad on the walker, and gave a sarcastic grin to Steve
“Happy?”
“Are you?”
And maybe Eddie wasn’t ready to be asked that because he was suddenly sobbing, covering his face as tears flowed down his cheeks
Steve gave him a few seconds before moving to kneel in front of him, pulling his hands away
“You deserve to have your life back, Eddie. You’ve been lucky to have the chance to walk again. Let’s not waste it, okay?”
Eddie spent the rest of the session walking across the mat and taking breaks every two minutes or so
It was better than Steve even expected, but he reminded Eddie not to do too much at once
Eddie didn’t miss any more appointments with Steve, and every appointment, he seemed to be more charming and flirty, more like “the old Eddie” according to Gareth, who drove him most days
Steve never admitted it out loud, but he knew what he felt for Eddie was different from other clients. It felt more personal, and it felt like it could be more someday
When Eddie graduated to a cane, Steve’s services were officially no longer needed
And Eddie decided that he should probably take Steve out on a date
“Since I can walk and hold your hand now,” he winked.
Steve should say no, but he doesn’t
Because holding Eddie’s hand feels even more right as his boyfriend than it did as his physical therapist
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flanaganfilm · 2 years
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Good day Mr Flanagan. please what does "the rest is confetti" mean to you and in the context it was used in hill house??
Okay, here we go. Buckle up for a long read.
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To answer this, I've got to explain a little bit about what was happening and where I was when I sat down to write episode 10 of The Haunting of Hill House.
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Hill House was not a fun shoot. The picture above is from very early in production, when I was still chubby and happy.
It was my first foray into television. I was absolutely terrified that I'd mess it up. So I'd opted to direct all of the episodes myself, figuring that - if nothing else - I'd have no one else to blame if it went south.
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It was the most grueling professional experience of my career. The shoot was by no means a smooth one, every day was an uphill battle from a budgetary perspective, and between the three giant production entities involved with the production, I spent a lot of time fighting over the creative and logistical elements of the series.
I began losing weight. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.
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By the end of the shoot, I had dropped almost 40 lbs.
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I was very depressed. Every day was a battle, and for the first time in my career, I wasn't excited to go to work in the morning. We were fighting for basic resources, fighting for the show we wanted, and even fighting amongst ourselves by the end. It was grueling.
We hadn't written all of the scripts when we started production. I believe we had finished through episode 7, but the rest of the scripts had to be finished while we were already shooting.
We'd mapped everything out in the writers room, and I had great support on the other episodes, but I was writing the finale solo. I'd thought I'd be able to juggle it with everything else. I quickly fell behind.
I finally got to the script about halfway through production. I'd work on it between takes at the monitor, and then get home to our tiny rental house in Atlanta, where Kate was waiting with our baby son. (One of the rare bright spots of this shoot came when Kate found out she was pregnant about halfway through production. We even named our daughter Theodora, in honor of her origins.)
I'd typically fall down from exhaustion when I got home, but I had to push through it and work on the script. My weekends were spent shotlisting and prepping for upcoming episodes. We didn't have enough time to stay ahead of prep, so every available day was used for that... I went three months without a single day off at one point.
I'd sit up late staring at the script. I was in a dark, dark place. Overwhelmed, exhausted, and feeling like I lived in an eternal present. Each day bled into the next and it didn't feel like there was an end in sight. That feeling of unreality was heightened because we kept returning to the same sets, same locations, and even the same scenes throughout the 100 shooting-day production. Stepping back into the exact room we had shot in days or weeks or even months ago made the whole thing feel absolutely surreal. Making movies is always an non-linear experience, but this one felt particularly so... it was like the days of our lives were happening to us all out of order.
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I remember feeling something like despair creeping into my daily experience on the show. And I remember dwelling on that when I got into the scene work of episode 10.
As I worked through the draft, I recall that despair coloring a lot of what was on the page. My filter was breaking down. There's a monologue at the beginning of the episode where Steven's wife Leigh (played by my dear friend Samantha Sloyan) spews out a torrent of eviscerating insults about Steve's value as a writer. That is just me vomiting onto myself. She was voicing all of my deepest insecurities about myself at the time, and of what I was doing with this series.
She says "Is anything real before you write it, Steve? The things you write about, they're real. Those people are real, their feelings are real, their pain is real - but not to you, is it. Not until you chew it up, digest it, and shit it out onto a piece of paper and even then, it's a pale imitation at best."
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This was the mindset I was in for a lot of the shoot. The writing became a reflection of a lot of that turmoil, and I knew who I was referring to in that monologue - I was talking about my family. I was talking about how much of their lives I'd used as building material for this show. I was talking about the fact that I'd lost two loved ones to suicide, and seen what it had done to my mother in particular. And I knew I was using - possibly even exploiting - those people for this series.
There's a lot of despair in this episode. The Red Room, as we conceived it, was a place that would feed upon those emotions. Grief, sadness, loss... those were the real ghosts of our series, and where our characters find themselves at the start of the finale. They're being slowly digested - eaten alive - by those feelings.
So finally, it came time to write Nell's final scene with her siblings. I knew from the outline we'd constructed in the writers room what this was supposed to accomplish - she was supposed to be their salvation. She was supposed to take all of these feelings that we'd been wrestling with and finally provide catharsis... finally say something that would free everyone.
I remember sitting with a blinking cursor for a long time. The Crain siblings had just turned and seen Nellie standing by the door, and suddenly were able to hear her speak. But what should she say? What would I say? What would I want someone to say to me?
What she ultimately says lays bare a lot of what I was thinking about when it comes to grief. It exists outside of linear time, much as I felt I existed at the time. That sense of eternal present, that sense of a nonlinear eternity of moments and memories - it all came out in her speech to her brothers and sisters.
I remember feeling, looking at my insane present and looking back at my past, how strangely overwhelmed I was by memories. That I wasn't experiencing time in a straight line, and hadn't been for a while - for the better part of a year, I'd felt more like I was standing in a whirlwind of moments. "Our moments fall around us like..." Nell said, and I recall sitting back and trying to find the words.
"Rain," for certain, but there was something too uniform about that. The moments of life as I experienced them weren't that orderly, they weren't that small. They didn't fall the same way. Some sailed by, fast and unremarkable, while others lingered in front of me, twisting and stretching. So it was a good word, but not the right word. I left it on the page though.
"Snow" was my next attempt. Better, in that I imagined the snow blowing in the wind, swirling and dancing and feeling more organic. More chaotic. More like life. But for some reason, the word that stuck with me, the word I felt Nell Crain would connect with was...
"Confetti."
And that was because I was thinking not of Victoria Pedretti at this point, but of Violet McGraw.
Violet played Young Nell, and I wondered what she might have said if she experienced time this way. As an adult, Nell was despairing. Nell was overwhelmed. But as a child... there was an innocence to the word. There was a joy to the word.
I imagined moments falling around her, this little girl with the big smile and the wide eyes. Her moments would be colorful. They would be of different shapes and sizes, some falling fast and some falling slow, flipping and turning and dancing in the air, independent of the others. Sparkling, whirling, doing lazy summersaults as they sauntered down to Earth.
I thought of myself, and of the members of my family. I thought of those we'd lost. I realized what I hoped for them, and for us all, in the end... was to look upon that mosaic of experience, that avalanche of days and minutes and moments... and to smile with some of the joy we had as children.
And this, I thought, was something that gave me hope. This gave me a glimpse of some kind of salvation for them. This was also how I hoped my life might seem if I was a ghost - a cascade of color and light and shape and movement, something I could dance in.
So Nell smiled and said... "or confetti."
It stuck with me. The rest of her monologue gets heavy again, and gets to the real point of the show - the point of the whole series, if I'm honest - and that's forgiveness.
I figured the only thing that would let the Crain children out of the Red Room was to be forgiven. I thought of the losses in my own family, and I thought of what I wished for my mother and for my aunts and uncles and cousins and I tried to pour that into her final words.
"I loved you completely, and you loved me the same," she said, "that's all." And this was the point I wanted the most to make. That at the end of our life, if we can say this about each other, the rest doesn't matter. The rest is that rainstorm, or that blizzard, that fell around this one central truth, and maybe built itself in piles around it, to the point we lost sight of it along the way.
And I thought again of that little girl, and almost as an afterthought, wrote "The rest is confetti."
I liked the way it sounded, but I was insecure about the line. I almost took it out, in fact. I remember asking Kate to read the scene and talking about that last line with her. "Is it too cute?" I wondered. She was on the fence. "Depends on how it's acted," she said, and I figured she was right. We could always take it out if it didn't work. The scene could end with "I loved you completely, and you loved me the same. That's all."
Why not shoot it and see what happened.
I turned in the script, we published it quickly so that we could start breaking it down and prepping it. And the next morning I was back on set. I'd deal with episode 10 when it came down the pipe again, sometime in the coming months. We had a lot of shooting to get through before I had to worry about it.
I recall Netflix asking me to cut a lot of that monologue, and I remember them also having questions about the "confetti" line. I pointed out that it didn't cost us any extra to shoot it all, it was only words, and fought to keep the script intact.
Ultimately, they insisted I make a series of cuts on the page. I begrudgingly agreed, but left Nell's speech alone. I made superficial cuts around it, throughout the draft, and even considered changing the font size to fool them into thinking it had gotten shorter (I ultimately was told I wouldn't fool anyone and not to risk starting a war). But Nellie's final goodbye stayed intact.
It must be said - Victoria Pedretti SLAUGHTERED this scene.
By the time we got around to filming it, things had never been worse for the production. There was almost nothing left for a lot of us. Tensions were sky-high, resources had been exhausted completely, and we were all ready to give up.
Filming in the mold-ridden Red Room was depressing, morose, and led to a lot of arguments and unpleasantness. The room itself just felt gross, always, and we were in there for days at a time. The last thing we had to shoot in there was Nellie's goodbye.
Victoria came to set having to push through pages of monologue, and she did so with captivating bravado. I recall being teary-eyed at the monitor watching her work. And when we finally made it to the last line, I watched her deliver it with... a smile. A sincere, innocent, longing, joyful smile. A smile informed by the sadness, grief, and loss of her own situation, of her own life... but a smile that finds forgiveness and grace after all. Pedretti knew how to say the line, and how that word would work.
And as she said it, I knew it would stay in the show.
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Over the years, that sentence has become something of a tagline for The Haunting of Hill House. I'm always a bit mystified and touched when I see people approach me with the line on T-shirts, or even tattooed on their bodies.
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I started signing it with autographs back in 2020 after enough fans asked me to. Now it's my go-to when I sign anything related to Hill House.
The line, for me, represents a lot of things.
It's about the insane, chaotic, non-linear experience of making that show. It's about trying to find and hold onto joy, even in the grips of despair.
It's about the way the moments of our lives aren't linear, not really, and how we may be unable to understand them as we exist in their flurry. It's about finding hope, innocence and forgiveness in the final reckoning.
And it's about how, outside of our love for each other, the rest is just... well, it's fleeting. It's colorful. It's overwhelming. It's blinding. It's dancing. And, if we look at it right, it's beautiful. But it's also light. It's tinsel. It flits and dances and falls and fades, it's as light as air.
The rest is the stuff that falls around us, and flits away into nothing.
It's the love that stays.
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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 24 days
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Standing a step behind you, watching you from afar, is already my biggest happiness.
Sorry for spamming I accidentally put the post in queue two times, this is the proofread and correct one the previous one is not :']
Price + Ghost*Reader
Price
Price doesn’t want to bind you to him. He’s nearly 40, plus the rank difference between you two, he’s a mature superior, no personal feelings should be involved in the workplace.
Not to say, he doesn’t sense even a tiny bit of romantic love from you, every time he tries to hide his affection towards you, he only sees respect for comrades in your eyes.
Even till the day you jump out and take a bullet for him as he gets knocked down accidentally, which ends up with the enemy dying, but you become lifeless in his arms, blood painting his palms and gear, he still believes you just view him as a teammate.
As he steps into your silent quarter and reads the words written in the journal, he slumps onto the bed, speechless as sorrow swallowing him that he needs to bite his lips until he tastes the bitter to stop him from crying.
“Personal feelings won’t be allowed, I can see Captain comply with this rule without exceptions.” “but it’s okay if it means I can stay beside him.” “It’s already a bliss that I can watch him from afar.”
He’s seasoned with gravel and pain, which ends up making a choice to free you from caging with him and hide his love, but unknown to him, you’re better at secreting yourself.
Ghost
He’s an expert at hiding and perceiving other’s feelings, not a single human —even his captain— is able to conceal the true thoughts running in their mind from him.
He knows he views you differently , not the family love like he owns for other 141 members, but the need to stay beside you forever, become old together if you both are pardoned from dying on the field at a young age.
The emotion plants a seed in his heart, sprouting as time flows, and when he realizes, the branches are already entangled with his heart.
Yet he chooses to lock those feelings inside the deepest part of him, he stares at you secretly with an amount of distance, always got your six and protects you, but never closer.
He’s afraid if standing too close to you, the sentiment will break through his mask and reveal it to you.
No one left behind, that’s his motto, yet he derogates it the moment he watches you shove the enemy badgering him off his body and over the railing, but he can’t catch your hands as he helplessly witnesses you tumble over inevitably.
You leave nothing, not even your body has been found, since the bomb exploded and perish you and the enemy together.
But when he flips through your journal in your room, he takes off his balaclava, letting it fall to the floor carelessly, as he discovers it does nothing to hide the truth from you.
“Something’s holding Ghost back, but I can wait, until he’s comfortable enough to take a step, even if it means years.” “I imagine we getting old together, but am I provided with such privilege?” “Maybe not, hence I’m already extremely satisfied to have a chance to watch him from afar.”
He assumes he’s excels at observing people, but what he’s unaware of is after he stares at you across the room and turns away eventually, your eyes land on him and never dart either.
a/n: thx for reading, have a nice day/night! :D
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arieslost · 4 days
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MONACO | cl16
summary: aries’ gift to you all after she watched her favorite driver win his home race <3
word count: 802
masterlist — join my tag list here!
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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the finish line at monaco has always been more of a daunting sight as opposed to an exciting one. you spent every single lap of every single monaco grand prix with your fingers tightly crossed, your lips colorless from how hard you’d press them together, just for a disappointing circumstance to rear its head.
you do the same thing today. but today is not last year, or the year before, or any time you’ve watched your boyfriend race in the heart of his hometown. today is the 26th of may, 2024, and charles leclerc is crossing the finish line as a winner.
every time he’s won has been special, but nothing holds a candle to this. it’s monaco. the streets of his childhood, the track he dreamed of winning on since he could remember.
“we won it! finally!” brian shouts over the radio, and immediately you can hear charles screaming back, crying out “YES!” over and over.
pascale, standing shoulder to shoulder with you as she had been for practically the entire race, reaches over and pulls you into a tight embrace.
“congratulations,” you say loudly in her ear so she can hear you over the cheers of everyone around you. “i can’t imagine how proud of him you are.”
“i think you can,” she replies, kissing your cheek and running her hands up and down your arms with a wide smile. “you’ve been by his side through every obstacle, just like i have.”
your eyes well with tears, and she hugs you again. “you’d better get out there. you know he always looks for you first.”
simultaneously, brian appears at your shoulder and takes your hand. “come on, come with me!”
you take a moment to hug him, the two of you jumping up and down in each other’s arms before you’re both running through the crowds of people to get a clear view of the podium, namely the top step.
you try to hold it together, because you know that a camera could focus in on you at any time, but when charles takes his place between carlos and oscar, his flag draped over his shoulders and a smile on his face that looks almost painful, you realize you never had a chance. the tears stream down your face, but you don’t even bother wiping them away. you can’t tear your gaze from the beautiful sight of your charlie at the top step in monaco. monaco.
his eyes find you as everyone sings along to the italian national anthem, the two of you included. you try to convey everything you can’t say to him yet through your eyes, and something about his expression tells you that he understands.
finally, after the ceremony is concluded and everyone is thoroughly doused in champagne (you and everyone in your general area as well, courtesy of charles), you’ve made your way back to ferrari’s hospitality and are now sitting waiting as patiently as you can to congratulate charles yourself.
thankfully, you don’t have to wait very long.
charles practically comes barreling through the door, first place trophy still clutched in his hand, race suit and hat drenched in champagne, and you don’t even feel the stickiness of it when you meet him in the middle of the room, both of you laughing hysterically.
adrenaline still pumping through his veins, charles wraps his arms around you and lifts you high in the air, spinning you around as many times as he can before he feels like he’s going to fall over. breathlessly, he sets you down, pressing his forehead to yours and closing his eyes.
“i’m so proud of you, cha,” you breathe out, fingers brushing through the hair at the back of his head before cupping his cheeks. “wow, i had so many things i wanted to say to you and now i can’t remember any of it.”
“c’est bon, mon amour,” he whispers, tilting his chin up to capture your lips in a slow, languid kiss. “just hold onto me for a minute.”
you don’t have to be told twice. you loop your arms around his neck, keeping your forehead firmly pressed against his, breathing in tandem with him and accepting every kiss he presses against your lips while his hands caress the slope of your back.
“i think you have some jumping in the harbor to do,” you say eventually, though you wish you could stay like this forever.
“with you?” he asks slyly, raising his eyebrows.
“i don’t think so,” you laugh.
but in the years you’ve spent with him, you’ve learned that when charles leclerc wants something, he will get his way. and that’s how you find yourself tightly gripping his hand as you leap into the monaco harbor with your race winner without regretting it for a single second.
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note: oh guys. i cried today. i really did. i’m so happy for him and so damn proud. the first monegasque driver to win his home race in 93 years. tifosi, we celebrate <3
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dividers by @/saradika
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a-b-riddle · 2 months
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A Simple (Mis) Understanding Chapter Two: Numbness & Pain
Daisy
I always used to think it was an exaggeration of how pregnancy is a constant state of exhaustion. But it was a lot of work growing a tiny human. Add in the fact that I'm still working 40 + hours a week and, of course, something is always causing some sort of discomfort or pain.
Swollen feet, back pain, nausea; I can't even find any solace in sleep. The 32 week mark felt so close, yet still so far. Another eight or so weeks of this seems like a drop in the bucket compared to how far along I am, but still. That still another two months. So far away when you want to be done, but still too short compared to everything I still have yet to do.
Another two months to set up a crib and wash her new clothes. Another two months to figure out a name and make decisions that I always envisioned making with a partner. Another two months of struggling to do things like picking up shit off the floor or staying on my feet long enough to make a decent meal.
But right now, I wasn't worried about the two months ahead of me and all the things I still have to do. Right now, I was looking forward to a three day undisturbed weekend. The pain in my feet and sciatica was becoming so bad, I had taken Friday off to see a doctor and spend the rest of the weekend doing nothing, but sitting in my modest little house and watching mind rotting television. I might even indulge in some spicy reading. Heaven knows its been too long.
Or at least, it hasn't been since them. That day in the office, but... that really didn't count. I often wrestled with myself about it. That one time erased any feelings I had for any of them. But I felt a bit pathetic how it now tainted every good memory I had with them. Kyle bringing me something to snack on when he realized I hadn't gone to the mess hall. Price always having a cup of earl grey tea cooling for me first thing in the morning. Two packs of zero calorie sweetner and a bit of honey.
Sweet like you.
I couldn't stand the smell of it now. I blamed it on the hormones. A lot of things made me queasy, but something about the smell of the bergamot, made me sick in a completely different way. A feeling not of nausea, but of... fear. Like the same way a pentagram could summon demons, earl grey could summon mine. As if John Price was somehow there any time the scent lingered in the air.
But he wasn't. None of them were. Fuck. Why did my thoughts always go back to them at some point? No. This was going to be a relaxing weekend god dammit. Fuck them.
Almost angrily, I hit the garage key fob, shutting the door and engulfing me into darkness; a thin line of light leaking through the bottom of the garage door. When I had opened my door, I could at least see a path to my mudroom. I grabbed my purse, ready to go in, when I felt it.
Hundreds of needles. Stabbing and digging into my feet. Not just the soles, but the entire fucking foot the moment I bared any weight on them. I pulled off my flats and it was then I noticed how angry they looked. Red and swollen and all but screaming at me to sit my fat ass back down. I wiggled my toes, trying to get some blood flow. Fuck. Why didn't they hurt while I was driving?
I manage to get onto my feet, using the car door as support. Steading myself until I was ready to take the first step. By the time I had managed to all but crawl inside, ten minutes had passed since my initial arrival time. I got off at 5:00, but usually didn't log off until almost 6:00. Granted, I work from home, but I had run out of a few essentials. Essentials now that were in the boot of my car.
Fuck.
10 minutes won't hurt. Not like there is any thing frozen. Speaking of which, I forgot my ice cream... dammit. I really need to start keeping a list on the fridge. It's hard to remember when pregnancy brain (or stomach) takes over and I slam a container in a single sitting.
Grabbing a pillow from the couch, I went to the kitchen. Which considering the town house, or terraced housing I suppose now, was perfect for a single and expecting Omega it was cozy. Not like the base where going from the common area to the chow hall was about a three minute stroll.
I get down and lay on my back. Carefully maneuvering so my ass rests against the cabinets before I hook the back of my heels unto the counter top so I could rest my feet a bit. Not the most sanitary, but it wasn't like I had guests. It was just me. For now.
It took a few moments to adjust. My back ached against the hardwood, but I could already feel the relief from my feet and legs. It wasn't all that shocking that I was having a hard time with them. I had gained a considerable amount of weight during my pregnancy. When I had brought it up to the OBGYN about possibly cutting back on food, her suggestion was to simply not weigh myself at home. Now when I went in for a visit they made me turn around before taking my weight.
It was hard. I've always had a problem with how I looked and now adding pregnancy then taking away the option to diet and exercise didn't exactly help.
I pulled out my phone and was preparing to open my kindle app when I saw a tiny red bar in the top right corner of my phone. Of course. I get nice and settled and my phone is on 2 fucking percent. Whatever. I tell Alexa to set an a timer for fifteen minutes and take a little nap. Maybe meditate.
A knock on the door quickly brings any possibility of relaxation to a pause. Margaret next door was dropping off Winnie off early to go to her book club. Margaret was a widow and a recent empty nester. She had spent her life as a mother and a homemaker. When I got custody of Winnie two months ago, she had quickly stepped up in helping me with everything from child rearing to managing my pregnancy.
"Hello, Maggie!" I greeted from the floor. "Hello, Winnie Darling." Winnie had the same sand colored hair as me and bright green eyes. Her face was a shade of red and I could smell her from the entryway. Someone would need a bath today. Fantastic.
"Oh, Dear!" Maggie fussed, setting Winnie down on her feet before coming over to me. "Are you alright?" Winnie didn't bother stopping to hug me like she normally would before making a beeline toward the potty. She usually was a creature of habit, but nature calls I suppose.
"Feet are a bit swollen." I waved off. "Just resting them a bit."
"I don't have to go tonight." She set her bag down. A deep green corduroy shoulder bag that always had just what you needed in it. A wet wipe, hand sanitizer, a spare tissue and even a stain pen when a spill happened at the most inconvenient time. "I'll stay and-"
"Maggie." I said, trying my best to sound at firm, but it was hard with her. No one told Maggie 'no'. "It's alright. Just a bit of water retention. Nothing to fret over." And it wasn't. I could already feel the pain from earlier subside.
"Really, it's no bother." She argued, bending over to unstrap one of her shoes. "It's a bloody stupid book anyway. I just go for the gossip really."
"Maggie." I tried again. "Really."  "It's getting close to the due date and I don't want to burn out on me just yet." It was a lie. Even with her greying hair, a deepened laugh line, Maggie didn't burn out. She was one of the few Omegas I had met in my life and she could run circles around any of them, myself included.
The sound of flushing sounded from the bathroom followed by the faucet. She huffed before slipping her shoe back on. "If you insist."
"I do." I encouraged. As much as I loved having Maggie's help, I hated feeling like a burden. She had raised her children. It was time for her to do things for herself. "Besides, we'll see you tomorrow after my appointment tomorrow." The bathroom door clicked open, revealing my little Win with the front of her smock covered in water. Fantastic.
"Hi, Mommy." Winnie finally greeted. Her freshly washed hands dripping water droplets onto the hardwood. "What are you doing?"
"My feet hurt so I'm just letting them rest." I explained, looking up at her. Winnie was rambunctious as most four-year-olds without a sense of self preservation are, but when I explained to her how careful she had to be now that I had her sister in my belly, her nature had become more gentle.
It worried me as much as it warmed my heart. 
"Why don't you sit on the couch?" She asked. Her head tilting to the side, face etched as if she were trying to figure out my reasoning.
"Because it helps when you lift your feet up high in the sky, Winnie Pooh." Maggie explained before looking back at me. "Well if you're sure-"
"I am. Go." I urged. "We'll see you tomorrow. Lunch around noon?" Spending time with Maggie didn't make me feel like such a parasite when I knew she enjoyed the company. Her children had all moved away, only one staying in the UK. She wasn't so alone, but neither was I.
"Wouldn't miss it." She gave a soft smile. The laugh lines around her face deepening. "See you tomorrow, Dearies." She said, retreating back outside. The soft sound of the door clicking behind her.
Winnie had laid down beside me. Yep. Definitely going to need a bath tonight. "How was school today?" Winnie went to a pre-school that was luckily covered under my insurance. Perks of being an Omega. I'll take it where and when I can.
She talked about going to the playground and painting. All the usual bits. Who she played with and new things she learned. Then came the question. A question she had asked before in passing. A subject I changed with ease before. 'Have you brushed your teeth? How about another episode of Bluey? Put on your trainers (because we can't just say tennis shoes anymore) and we'll go for a walk to the park. I had skirted around the question with ease. 
"Why don't you have a mate if you have a baby?" Winnie was too young to get the answers to a lot of life's difficult questions. Why did Tiffany not like us? Why didn't she get to see her daddy anymore? Why did that man look at you weird on the train, mommy?  I wish she would just stay this little. That she never needed or want to know the harsh truths about me, us.
"I..." I wracked my brain for an answer and just came up short. I couldn't think of a way to sugarcoat it. We almost had a mate. Mates. We almost had a pack that would have walked you to school on the mornings my feet were too sore or I was already running late. They would have loved you. "It... it's complicated, Darling." Is what I chose instead. The other worrisome fact is that Winnie was too young to understand the concept about mates. I had never broached the subject which only means she probably heard it from some little shithead at school. 
Wonderful.
"I'll explain it when you're older." I promise, closing my eyes and letting her snuggle into the crook of my arm. "Do you wanna rest your eyes with me?"
"Like when I'm five?" She asks putting one of her hands underneath my shirt onto my belly. It had become a thing she had started since I told her about the baby.
"Maybe six." I said, looking down at her. She gave a yawn before closing her eyes.
"I think five is better."
"Okay, Win." I said. "When you're five we'll talk about it." It was a promise I hoped she would forget. But I didn't want to negotiate with a four-year-old about something future me could deal with. I wanted just 15 minutes of this. I order Alexa to set a timer to make sure we haven't dozed too far off. Winnie still needed to shower and eat. I still needed to get the groceries out of the car. But I could spare another 15 minutes.
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arachine · 1 year
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♡ ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و 。・* . . . their firsts .ᐟ
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ᥫ᭡ featuring :: neteyam, lo’ak and kiri sully
ᥫ᭡ includes :: their first kisses & times !!
ᥫ᭡ genre :: mature
ᥫ᭡ general tags :: sexual content (nothing explicit), fluff
ᥫ᭡ content warnings :: characters are aged up, dry humor
ᥫ᭡ note :: depending on the attention this receives, i may or may not make a part two with spider, tsireya, and a’onung >_<
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♯ first…kiss with neteyam .ᐟ
+ neteyam’s got that older brother charm. a real gentleman, through and through—which isn’t the least bit surprising because he’s neytiri’s son, after all. and given this, he just…naturally excels at most things, even kissing. when it happens, it’s kind of almost unreal, sort of like a fairytale. he’s just so…good at it, doesn’t rush you, or force his tongue down your throat, or do anything that would even slightly make you uncomfortable. 
no, he’s slow—methodical. takes his time with you because he wants to taste you, and commit it to memory. i’d like to think he even makes you laugh before he goes in, because he’s just like that, you know? like, yeah, he’s got neytiri’s whole face but he’s still his daddy’s son—he’s got the smugness and attitude to prove it. 
♯ first…time with neteyam .ᐟ
+ god, i don’t even know where to begin. every fiber of my being believes that he’d make it the most comfortable, painless experience ever. usually, most people dread their firsts—simply because their partners didn’t: 1) prep them properly, 2) make sure that they finished, or 3) provide aftercare—but neteyam? yeah, he’s going above and beyond, and checking off every single one! you being in pain and miserable was simply never an option.
as previously mentioned, i’d like to think he’d try and calm your nerves by making you laugh. just a few jokes here and there, just to get your mind off of the initial stretch of his fingers working you. 
— “who’s the prettiest girl on pandora?” he teases, leaving zephyr-light kisses all over your face. you think he’s so corny, but giggle anyway, shoving lightly at his chest. 
“stop it!” but he’s relentless, still peppering your face with kisses, still prodding your slit. you’re so distracted by his attempts to calm your nerves, that you don’t even notice his finger is all the way in. not until he pulls it out and praises you for opening up for him.  
— “see, look at you,” a gentle hand rises to caress your cheek, “so pretty.” 
♯ first…kiss with lo'ak .ᐟ
+ the concept of patience is entirely foreign to him. patience and him are like oil and water. they just don’t mix. he’s a here, now, and fast type of guy, always has been. and when the moment arises between you two, he’s the first to initiate it—however, it’s no fairytale moment. it’s toothy, wet, and inexperienced. 
i’d like to think it’s you who has to take the initiative when it comes to kissing. and through this, he begins to get a sense of the things you like: how slow he should go, how much tongue, where he should hold you, and how he should move his lips. eventually, he gains enough confidence to kiss you the way he’s been wanting to kiss you—which is hard, and rough, and passionate—just a lot less toothy and wet. 
♯ first…time with lo'ak .ᐟ
+  it’s all baby steps and hand holding with him in this department too. this is the one instance in which i don’t think he’d charge into. i think after kissing you for the first time, he’d use some of that knowledge to decipher how he’d go about it. at first, he’s like incredibly scared to touch you, just hovering over you like a sheet of paper, scared that if he uses just the slightest amount of strength, you’ll break or something. 
— “does that hurt?” / “can you feel that?” / “maybe if we try it this way…” / “am i in?” 
the sentiment is cute, thoughtful even. because don’t get me wrong, a man that takes the time to ask you how he should touch you, where he should touch you, and how you’re feeling during sex is amazing. bravo to any guy who does it (it’s the bare minimum), but lo’ak does it to the point where you’re questioning if he’s scared of pussy. overall, i think this is something you’ll have to take the initiative for too.
— “lo’ak if you don’t touch me right now, i swear to god i’m going to kill you and then myself.” 
♯ first…kiss with kiri .ᐟ
+ my sweet girl. my bestest girl. i just know it’d be so fucking cute. like actually, the type of kiss where your leg slowly springs up (i.e. the princess diaries). yeah, it’d be that good. girls just do everything better anyway, and it’s kiri, so the expectations were already high (duh). the thing about kiri is, when she kisses, she really commits to the kiss. she doesn’t do half-assed, because kissing is like dessert. 
it’s supposed to be (especially first kisses) sweet, and airy, and dizzying—and it is! the amalgamation of her tender touches, and the little giggles in between, and the teasing ‘run and follow’ your lips do…are all things that add to the experience. a kiss with kiri will literally have you on speed dial with uhaul, trust and believe!
♯ first…time with kiri .ᐟ
+ like neteyam, she’d be so attentive. just making sure you’re comfortable, reassuring you, whispering words of encouragement, and checking in on you mentally. she knows that sex can be exhausting (both physically and mentally), so i’d like to think she’d spend extra time on foreplay and aftercare than she would during the actual act itself—not that she had to spend much time on you anyway, because getting you to finish wasn’t something she considered to be much of a feat. 
also, kiri is a princess, she’s literally the first born daughter. she may often appear to have a tough exterior, but…it’s just a front. dote on her and shower her with the same affections she showered you with, treat her like a little doll and watch her crumble underneath your fingertips from the smallest of praises. 
— “such a sweet girl, staying open for me.” / “could watch you do that all day.” / “nobody touches me the way you do.” 
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© arachine 2023
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stevieschrodinger · 1 year
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Eddie goes zero to sixty when he wakes up. He expects to be dead, so the strong smell of disinfectant and boiled hospital food comes as a shock that, at first, he doesn’t believe.
But then the irregular bleating of the heart monitor next to him starts to sink in, the beeps sounding way too fucking fast and that stresses Eddie out even more. He tries to escape out of the bed, gets tangled in tubes and wires, agony burning up his side and through his stomach, practically falls out of the bed when his own legs won’t hold him.
The floor is rock solid and stone cold, and that just ratchets Eddie’s panic further, because now he’s stuck and he can’t escape and there are people – people he doesn't know – touching him, all talking all over each other and it’s so much, too much to handle, the overload -
“Holy shit kid,” a voice Eddie would recognize anywhere, mostly because he’s been warned by that voice so many times about getting caught dealing and carrying and, “Jesus, give him some room a second.”
“I thought you were dead,” Eddie rasps out, voice totally fucked.
“Yeah, well, thought the same about you kid,” Hopper answers, stoic and honest as always.
“I can’t stay here,” Eddie finds his hands twisted up in the material of Hoppers jacket.
Hopper nods, knowingly, “back into bed, give me half an hour.”
Eddie agrees, holds onto that, because the lights are too bright and the noises are all so fucking loud and even the sound of his own breathing is annoying.
“Kid,” Hopper raps on the door frame, and every fucking pair of eyes in the room swivels to him because literally everyone rammed into Max’s room is a kid to Hopper. He narrows it down a bit, looking at Steve, “Munson’s awake.”
Half the people in the room shoot up, Dustin’s fastest despite his fucked up ankle, so Hopper sticks an arm out, wraps him up, stops him even though the kid is screeching and wriggling in his hold, “just Steve, the rest of you stay here.”
There’s a roomful of complaints, but something in Hoppers tone must relay the urgency, because they do obey in the end.
“So, he needs somewhere to go.”
Hopper nods down at Steve, “Owen’s can wrangle it, but it’s got to be somewhere known, somewhere that has the space, somewhere...private.”
Steve gets what Hopper’s laying down, his place is the only place that makes any sense, “yeah, of course.”
Because there’s no question.
Eddie limps across the threshold, most of his weight supported on Steve’s shoulders. They take one look at the mountain of stairs and divert straight to the couch. Steve can see that Eddie’s in pain, that he’s restless, that he can’t settle, “what can I do?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Feel like there’s...fire ants or something, crawling all over, under my skin.”
Steve tuts. Not having a suggestion for that. Eddie’s face contorts again and he’s sweating. The nurse was very fucking clear about the pain meds, and Eddie can’t have any more for another couple of hours at the earliest. Steve doesn’t state that out loud; he’s pretty sure Eddie doesn’t need reminding.
He comes back with a cool sodden towel, feeling helpless, but the second it hits Eddie’s skin Eddie practically screeches and they know that isn’t the answer, so Steve throws it in the laundry.
“I don’t know what to say man, shower? Like, a hot one?”
“Dressings,” Eddie bites back, white knuckled and almost writhing now on the couch.
“Maybe...we should take you back, maybe they can-”
“No. Fuck no,” Eddie’s words bitten out, panicked.
“Okay okay,” Steve surrenders, palms up flat, “what then?”
Eddie’s eyes flick over the back of the couch, he can’t see the stairs from there, there’s a wall in the way, but his expression looks pained just at the thought, “I’ll try anything once.” He tries to make a joke of it, tries to make out that he’s okay, but he’s clearly in fucking agony and Steve has no idea what to do for him so he agrees readily.
Making it up the stairs takes them fully half an hour, Eddie having to wait, panting, on every single step. Steve’s never felt so helpless in his life (excluding that one time Max floated in the cemetery), it’s torture watching Eddie suffer, watching him try and keep in all the pained noises, only to fail miserably.
He manages a half hearted joke about King Steve giving him a sponge bath when they make it to the turn near the top, the wider step on the corner giving Eddie somewhere safe and secure to lean.
Steve doesn’t laugh, “how are you feeling now?”
Eddie swallows, throat clicking dry, “it’s worse. It’s like there’s...like something's under there, moving around,” Eddie draws in a hissed breath, face crumpling, “hurts. So fucking much.”
Steve doesn’t even know what to say to that, so they get moving, and those final four steps are worse than all the others combined. They shuffle through Steve’s bedroom and into the bathroom, and when Steve clicks on the light Eddie makes an agonized noise and Steve clicks it off again immediately.
“S’bright,” Eddie mutters, squinting at the floor, greasy, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. He looks ill. Washed out. No, gray. He looks like he’s gone gray in the dim light coming through the small bathroom window.
“Okay, okay, no problem,” so Steve turns to get the water going, trying to figure out how the fuck they’re going to do this considering Eddie looks exhausted and half dead already. He hears Eddie make a noise, there's a soft thump, and Steve turns back, concerned.
Eddie’s gone.
He’s just...gone.
His clothes are in a heap on the floor, bloody dressings mixed in, and Steve yells, hopping backward and nearly dragging down the shower curtain, when the pile shifts. Wings emerge. Tails.
Steve recognizes it instantly. It’s a fucking demobat.
“Fuck. Fuck fuck,” Steve backs away, edges his way through the door, thinking of the nail bat in the boot of his car. He usually brings it everywhere with him, when he can, but he was too concerned with getting Eddie into the house to think of it.
He doesn’t take his eyes off the thing as it flops around, trapped in Eddie’s clothes. Steve darts the rest of the way, scouring his room for a weapon and giving up fast; the kitchen, a knife; that would be easiest.
Steve runs for it, closing his bedroom door tight so the thing can’t escape. He runs down the stairs, grabs the biggest knife in the block and then takes the stairs two at a time on the way back up.
Steve opens his bedroom door cautiously, point of the knife sliding through the gap, just in case the thing is flapping around in his bedroom. It’s not, it appears safe.
But Steve knows the danger, he was nearly killed by just one of those things so he isn’t taking any chances. Steve waits a second with the door open...he realizes he can hear it. It’s not making the horrible high pitched screech that he’s used to, it sounds more like...well, it sounds like a whimper. It actually sounds kind of pathetic.
Steve creeps closer, only to find the demobat hopelessly tangled in Eddie’s clothes, it’s struggling only making it worse. Steve stands for a moment, staring. Eddie’s gone...and now that little creature is in Eddie’s clothes.
Eddie. Shit, Steve has a terrible feeling about this, “Eddie?”
Steve creeps a little closer, still pointing with the knife, “Eddie, man, if that’s you, you’ve got to give me something here,” Steve begs desperately. There’s still no response, “oh fuck me, I’m loosing my godamn mind.”
Steve kneels, moving a little closer, “Eddie?”
The Demobat’s strange, worm like head appears from under Eddie’s shirt and sort of...mewls. It’s pathetic, really. The open, rounded mouth in filled with rows of tiny, razor sharp teeth. It’s got four eyes, two above the mouth, and two more set behind that, and they all blink in turn, strange slits opening and closing slowly.
It makes another little noise. “Okay. Okay, lets, try...oh man I am so dumb. Dustin’s never going to let me live this down,” Steve slowly offers the back of his hand to the thing, reasoning that if it bites him, the wound won’t be too debilitating than if he looses a finger or something equally terrible. He waits, watching, poised to drag his hand back at the first sign of danger. He doesn’t need too though, because the demobat potentially formerly known as Eddie, snakes out a too long, thin black tongue, and licks a sticky smear on the back of Steve’s hand.
And that’s all. It sits still, staring up at Steve will all four of it’s beady black eyes, watching expectantly.
“Okay. Okay. I’m going to trust you. But if you bite me I swear to…” Steve mutters to himself as he carefully untangles the bat from the pile of clothing, it’s tails and wings well and truly wrapped up with the material.
It’s not awful. It feels kind of cold, but the skin isn’t like, moist, or anything, it’s very dry and kind of scaly. The wings are more leathery, and the tail is...well, it kind of feels weirdly hollow.
“Okay, I got you Munson. God that’s so weird,” Eddie’s body snakes up Steve’s arm a little way, wings flapping clumsily as he tries to right himself. Steve has to fight his instinct to throw the thing off, the last time a demobat was this close to him it nearly strangled him to death.
Despite climbing all over Steve, Eddie wraps his tail around his arms and chest...but not his neck. Not even close. Kind of like, even in this form, he knows.
Eddie ends up hooking the ‘elbows’ of his wings into Steve’s shirt and just...huddling there. Not doing anything, tail wrapped firmly around Steve’s arm, one wing against Steve’s chest and the other against his back, hugging Steve’s shoulder.
Steve stares at himself, and Eddie, in the mirror, “well, fuck.”
With no idea what the hell he’s supposed to do now, Steve heads to bed. It’s been a bit of a day, and whatever the hell this is can wait until tomorrow. He crawls into bed, carefully lying down. Eddie seems to get it, movements still slow and very clumsy, he shifts completely onto Steve’s chest, sort of walking on the joints of his wings, curling up.
Steve lies there, staring at the ceiling in the dark, “I guess this is...maybe not the weirdest thing to happen?”
Eddie makes a soft trilling noise.
Fuck.
Steve wakes up slowly, very aware of the warm weight on top of him. He blinks, vision filled with a mop of brown curls. Eddie.
Steve is hugging Eddie. Eddie is mostly on top of him. Eddie is very naked under Steve’s hands and his very obvious erection is digging into Steve’s thigh and, “Eddie, you’re people again!”
Eddie lifts his head, squinting, opens his mouth and says, “mrrrrp?”
It’s eerily reminiscent of the noise he’d made last night, as a demobat.
“You’re a dude again, dude.”
Eddie blinks. It seems to take a long time to process before he finally, finally croaks out, “coffee.”
Steve wholeheartedly agrees.
Steve slips out of bed, Eddie either isn’t acknowledging or hasn't noticed his boner situation, so Steve figures there's some sort of bro code here and just ignores it too.
While coffee is brewing, Steve figures his only possible course of action is to call the smartest person he knows. He will never admit that out loud, but luckily Henderson answers on the second ring, like he’s been waiting for Steve to call him.
“Dustin-”
“Can I come see Eddie yet?”
Steve sighs, “I’m great, thanks for asking, so cool of-”
“Steve.”
“Yeah. Yes, come over.”
The little shit doesn’t even say goodbye. He just hangs up.
Steve takes a coffee up to Eddie, who is buck naked and sprawled ass up over Steve’s bed, “okay, Eddie come on, Dustin’s on the way.”
Eddie groans, crawling out of bed, Steve heads over to his wardrobe to dig out something for Eddie to wear so he isn’t obviously staring at all of Eddie’s nakedness. There’s a thump and a, “shit,” that has Steve spinning back around, Eddie sat on his ass on the floor, looking confused.
“You okay?”
“Legs. Apparently you can forget legs really fast.”
It hadn’t occurred to Steve when he woke up, but it does now. All of Eddie is pristine; there’s not a wound, mark, scar bruise, anything on him anywhere. Steve has to step closer, kneeling in front of Eddie to prod his chest, Eddie swats at him, “you’re all healed up.”
Eddie stops swatting at Steve and prods himself instead, “holy shit. I am.”
“Well...that’s a positive, right?”
Eddie hums, and Steve goes back to digging him out a sweater and some sleep pants and boxers. That’ll do for today. Eddie’s a little wobbly when he stands, so Steve hovers in grabbing distance, but Eddie gets dressed without incident.
Steve offers him the coffee from the nightstand, now cool enough to drink. Eddie takes an enthusiastic mouthful and Steve watches as Eddie’s face goes through a series of...something, his mouth obviously full of coffee. His face is definitely doing something. And then Eddie just opens his mouth, “bleaugh,” letting the coffee just...run back into the mug.
And then he hands it back. To Steve. Who takes it reflexively, “I’ll just...I’ll go and get rid of this.”
“Where is he?”
“Okay, okay, firstly, I need you to not freak out.”
“Steve,” Dustin stares at him, “saying that is guaranteed to make anyone freak out.”
“Yep,” Steve agrees, “I mean it though, Eddie is absolutely fine, I swear it.”
“But. There’s a but isn’t there, Steve why is there always a but with-”
“He turned into a demobat last night. Like just, was a bat. And I didn’t know what to do, so we went to sleep, and then this morning he was Eddie again.”
Dustin’s face is a process, before he finally settles on, “are you sure?”
Steve rolls his eyes, “yes, yes, I’m sure. He was Eddie, then bat, the Eddie again. It wasn't complicated, just fucking weird.”
“Right...so where is he?”
Steve opens his bedroom door to find...absolute carnage. His bed has moved, the mattress is off the frame, there’s blankets and pillows strewn everywhere, feathers swirling in the air.
“Eddie?”
Eddie pops up on the other side of the bed, shirtless and frantic looking, “I didn’t, I didn’t do anything, it just, it just...it just exploded.”
Steve stares, the feathers settling. Eddie’s actually naked again and appears to be building some sort of fort on the floor of Steve’s bedroom, Steve blinks, “the pillow doesn’t matter Eddie.”
Eddie nods decisively, “good.” Then, after a moments thought, “do you have more?” And then he’s back on his hands and knees rearranging his fort, like a feral racoon or something.
“Dustin’s here, do you want to maybe come and talk to him?”
“It’s the scientific method Steve!”
“We are not throwing anyone off a roof, anywhere, any time, ever.”
They both turn back to Eddie, watching as he eats another spoon of raspberry jelly straight out of the jar.
“You got any ketchup?” Dustin asks, going back to food again.
“That won’t prove either theory, ketchup is red and sweet.”
Dustin turns to him, “Steve, that is possibly the most intelligent thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Steve’s ready to slap the little shit at this point, but Dustin’s face is earnest. Apparently Dustin actually means what he just said. Like, sincerely.
So Steve lets it go, and Dustin suggests, “we need something sweet but not red, and something red but not sweet.”
“We should go to the store,” Steve adds, then stares at Eddie for a minute longer; he’s basically fucking the neck of the jar with his tongue, “I’ll call Nancy to go to the store for us,” Steve adjusts.
Dustin nods, turning the page of his notebook.
Nancy drops grocery bags on the counter while Robin hops up next to her, “so, I thought we could make red jello and add a bunch of salt or something, I got some soup for him to try, some more jelly just in case, and some more ketchup since you said he really likes that. Two tubs of salsa…”
Steve rummages in the bag next to her, when Eddie pops up next to him, Steve hadn’t even heard him come into the kitchen. Eddie wedges himself right in there, pushing Steve back with a hand and then...hisses. Hisses at Nancy. Like, makes a hissing noise and bears his teeth. Steve just moves, lets Eddie push him back, while Nancy watches, wide eyes and surprised.
She takes a few Steps back herself, closer to Robin, and tries a tentative, “Eddie?”
He just hisses again, before snapping, “mine!” at her.
And then he disappears, there’s a light thump on the kitchen floor. Everyone watches as bat Eddie extricates himself from his clothes, movements much better this time around. He half climbs and half flaps his way up Steve’s body, until he gets to around waist height and Steve grabs at the thickest part of Eddie’s body to help him out. Eddie climbs the rest of the way, draping himself around the back of Steve’s neck, tail wrapped under one armpit, Eddie standing on his wing joints on the opposite shoulder. He hisses at Nancy again.
“Holy shit,” Nancy says.
Dustin is frantically scribbling in his notebook.
Robin, once she’d got over the shock of Eddie’s transformation, laughed and laughed and laughed. Even Nancy was smirking at them. The way Steve was absently stroking over Eddie to keep him mollified, and that Nancy couldn’t come within ten feet of them without Eddie getting all riled up again.
“So, you and Eddie huh.”
Steve just rolls his eyes.
“He’s feeling plenty threatened by Nance,” Dustin adds, really, really, unhelpfully.
“Probably because they were a thing,” Robin speculates.
“So you and Eddie are like, dating?” Dustin asks, and whatever Steve’s face does makes Robin laugh and laugh and laugh again.
Eddie actually manages a graceful glide off Steve’s shoulder and onto the nest/fort/thing Eddie had constructed earlier. Steve was going to try and tidy it before bed...but from the way Eddie is wing walking across it, pathetically dragging the edge of a pillow in his tiny mouth, Steve guesses that he’s not.
It’s also been a bit of a day, and he can’t really be bothered.
He climbs into bed, Eddie flapping out of the way and then climbing his way carefully up onto Steve’s chest.
This is my life now, Steve thinks, as he stares at the ceiling.
And then gets winded, when the very small demobat lying on his chest is suddenly a full sized man again. Eddie nearly headbutts Steve in the chin and Steve rolls over to dump him off, panicked and with the breath knocked out of him. Eddie makes a pathetic and somehow accusatory trilling noise, like this turn of events is all Steve’s fault, before he rolls over and flops over Steve again.
Apparently, cuddling is a thing they do.
Eddie makes a noise like a purr when Steve rubs his hand up and down the naked skin of Eddie’s back.
So, yeah, this is Steve’s life now.
There is more of this series on AO3 - Stevieschrodinger
2K notes · View notes
digital-domain · 7 months
Text
edging w/ your jjk men
a collection.
total word count: ~3.8k (1200-1300 each)
pairing(s): gojo x reader, geto x reader, sukuna x reader
content tags: all nsfw (obviously). Details for each ⬇️
Gojo: choking, biting, a lil bit of begging, whole lotta teasing, eating out, simultaneous orgasms
Geto: slowwww teasing, bondage, bit of slapping (thighs), eating out + fingering through panties (and then eventually without them)
Sukuna: ok so - fingering, eating out, heavy degradation, honorifics, begging, biting, choking, dacryphilia, throat-fucking, facial, orgasm denial, literally stepping on you, i think that’s everything??
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been working on this for a while, hope you enjoy...
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GOJO.
He’s almost always sweet to you, precisely because he knows how powerful he is. He shows it off to the rest of the world, but with you, he doesn’t have to. He wants you to feel good, wants to make you cherish every second you spend alone together, wants to make you come, sometimes multiple times in a row, until you have nothing else to give - and like everything else, it’s easy for him. He’ll wrap his arms around you when it’s all over, bury his face in your hair, tell you that he loved every second of it just as much as you did. Almost every time, that’s how it ends.
But then there are the other times, when you see that feral spark in his eyes, and realize that you’re about to be his outlet for everything that he’s been holding back. It starts with the little things - instead of caressing your face, his hand curls around your neck, and his kisses are rough, his teeth sinking without warning into your bottom lip, his eyes still open, shining far too bright. He unbuttons his shirt and undresses you in seconds, plunges his hand between your thighs, grins when he realizes how wet his onslaught has made you, cackling at the shock in your eyes. He throws you onto your back, and for a moment things are just the same as always - he’s eating you out like he’s starving, and you know that it won’t be long before you finally get the release you’ve been craving - it never does take long with him. Not unless he decides to drag it out. He’s not dragging it out today - you can already feel your body tensing, preparing for the wave of pleasure that’s about to roll over it -
He moves. Unnaturally fast. His mouth is at your neck, instead of between your legs, and you’re confused, disoriented, crying out in pain as his teeth sink into your skin. He pushes himself up on his hands, hovering over you, and that wild grin flashes across his face once again.
“Satoru…”
“Yeah? You want something?” His face is so close to yours that your eyes cross trying to look at him, and he cackles again, his tongue darting over his lips. “You gotta ask nicely if you want something. How am I supposed to know otherwise?”
You glare up at him - there’s far too much pride in his voice. He’s so pleased with himself, and you think you might hate him for it.
“What? You mad?” He bites his lip, and slithers back down between your legs, tracing a single finger up your inner thigh. “Want me to make it up to you?”
You stay silent. Inside, you’re burning, desperate for him to finish you, but you can’t tell him that. You’ll never hear the end of it.
“No?” He sighs dramatically and rolls over your leg onto his side, smirking slightly as you gasp at the sudden pressure. “Guess I’ll just leave, then.”
You stare, horrified, as he stands and does up the buttons of his shirt. He slowly makes his way towards the door, not throwing so much as a glance in your direction. Without thinking, you sit up and call out after him. “Satoru!”
“Yeah?” He turns his head over his shoulder, smiling innocently. “You wanna kiss me goodbye?”
“No.” You mumble something unintelligible, and he crosses the room in an instant, diving on top of you and pinning you to the mattress, wrapping his hand around your jaw.
“Hm? I didn’t hear you!”
You take a deep breath, your eyes still narrowed in anger, resenting the firm grip forcing you to look at him as you speak. “I said, I want you to make it up to me.” He tilts his head, waiting, and you grit your teeth. “Please.”
“There you go.” He twists his free hand through your hair, holding you in place as he kisses you, sloppily, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. You can feel his hard cock pressing through the fabric of his pants, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding against it, although you’re all too aware of the effect your desperation has on him. The hand grasping your face slowly slides down to your throat. “You want me to make you cum?” He effortlessly flips you onto your stomach and falls upon you, one hand undoing his trousers while the other stays firm upon your neck. His cock brushes against your inner thigh, inches from slipping inside you. With his trousers discarded on the floor, he slips his hand under your hips. His fingers circle your clit, making you gasp and squirm beneath him. He leans in close, breathing heavily in your ear. “You wanna cum around my cock?” He’s teasing you, stroking his cock slowly over your entrance, sighing tantalizingly as he feels how wet you are, how ready you are for him. His hand tightens around your neck, urging you to speak before he squeezes the breath out of you.
It’s all too much for you to resist. “Yes,” you gasp. Your voice muffled by the sheets beneath you. You raise your voice. “Yes. I - I want you to fuck me. Wanna cum for you. Please, Sato-“
The last of the air leaves your lungs as he thrusts into you, ravenously, as if he’s been waiting for hours instead of just minutes. His fingers stroke at your clit as he nips haphazardly at your neck and ear, sighing with pleasure as he pounds at your cunt, and you suddenly realize that he’s been just as desperate as you this whole time - he’s just much better at hiding it. Good enough to make you beg for what he’s wanted all along. And you don’t care - what he’s doing to you feels far too good for you to think about it anymore. You can feel yourself practically drool onto the sheets beneath you, surges of heat sweeping across your skin as he presses into you, somehow touching every inch of you at once, from your hair to the edges of your thighs.
“Talk to me,” he whispers, urgent and intense - this time, you don’t hesitate for a moment.
“‘S so good - please keep going. Thank you…”
He’s so satisfied by your response that he practically hums in your ear, his hips driving into you with such force that you cry out in pain-and-pleasure, your hand scrabbling desperately at the sheets, a fresh thrill of heat spreading through your core. “You’re gonna cum with me,” he whispers. "Yeah?"
“Y-yes. Thank you. Yes.” Your legs twitch beneath him, and your orgasm radiates through your body, lingering as his cock spasms inside you, his grip tightening - he groans heavily, and you take his cum inside of you, basking in your own afterglow as he finishes and collapses over your body, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
You stay like that for a long time, pressed up against each other, uncharacteristically silent.
“Worth it,” you murmur, half hoping that he won’t hear you. Of course, he does.
“I know.” You can practically feel that self-satisfied grin spreading over his face. “We’ll do it again.” His voice softens. “You did good for me.” He nuzzles his face against your skin. “Did I do good for you?”
You sigh, sounding nearly as dramatic as him. “Yes. But don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late.”
You groan, and half-heartedly try to push him off of you. He doesn’t move an inch.
“You just say the word when you want it like that again,” he murmurs. “Until then, I’ll be sweet. I swear.���
You believe him. After all, this time has ended just like all the rest. Whispered reassurances, his arms wrapped around you, fingers stroking through your hair. You could never really be mad at him. He’s far, far too good for that.
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GETO.
He knows how to take his time. There’s no reason to rush - he knows that he has you for as long as he wants you. He’s slow to undress you, running his finger up the side-seam of your shirt before pulling it over your head, tracing a hand over your stomach just above the waistline of your jeans before he even undoes the top button, running his hand up your thigh and teasing you through the stiff fabric, daring you to grind into his palm. He lays you down and kisses you slowly, but not gently - his tongue probes into your mouth, and he tugs at your bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls back. As he finally takes off your jeans, you become very aware of the fact that he’s still fully clothed. His hands slide under your back, undoing your bra, but he keeps your panties on - for now. You squirm, restless, unable to hide your eager anticipation of his next move.
“Be patient.” He’s exploring you at his leisure, kissing your forehead, your lips, sucking at the side of your neck. You involuntarily writhe beneath him - you can tell that this is going to leave a mark, but you don’t care about that right now. If anything - it’s not quite enough.
“Be still.” His voice is utterly soft and controlled, starkly contrasting with the whimpers that escape from your mouth as he kisses your breast, flicking your nipple with his tongue, and slides his hand between your legs, teasing you over your panties - you’re wet already, and infuriatingly, his touch seems to lighten as he realizes this.
You reach up, desperate to touch him, to see more of him. But he catches your wrists and pins them above your head. “Still having trouble, hm?” He smiles condescendingly, shaking his head. “I thought you would’ve learned by now. You’re only going to draw this out even more.”
He kisses you hard, swallowing up the protest about to issue from your mouth, his grip tightening around your wrists. As soon as he lets go, your hands jump to his hair, and again, he catches them. His eyes narrow, his voice deathly quiet. “What did I just say?”
Sometimes, you just can’t resist making a bad decision. “That you’re gonna draw things out?” Your voice is too loud, too defiant - and far more confident than you feel. “As if I mind spending more”-
He slaps his hand over your mouth. “You don’t mind yet.” There’s an unusual smile on his face, unlike any you’ve seen from him before. It’s almost scary, the way his dark eyes seem to pierce right through yours. “But you will.”
You cringe as he reaches for the drawer of his dresser and pulls out a couple short lengths of cord. He’s tied your wrists before, and not being allowed to touch him is always agonizing. But you can handle it. You have before. And the emergence of that rope usually means that the teasing is nearing its end. After all - even he can’t hold out forever.
But to your surprise, it’s not your wrists that he takes hold of. Instead, he grabs your ankles and effortlessly folds you in half, pulls your arms up to meet your legs - you struggle, slightly, but not nearly enough to give him any trouble. In an instant, two tight loops pull your limbs together, pressing your forearms to your shins, your feet in the air, the ropes tight enough that you know they'll leave an impression when he removes them.
But that won’t be any time soon. You can barely move, can’t keep yourself upright on your own, and you know better than to speak again. He steadies you, wrapping his arms around your legs, parting them, and drags his tongue carefully down your inner thigh. Then, finally, over your cunt - but the lace of your panties is still in the way, and you grind desperately into his mouth, only becoming more desperate as he smirks up at you, his nails digging into your vulnerable skin. “So worked up already…I think it’s a good thing we kept these on. Wouldn’t want you getting overwhelmed.”
You whine pathetically as he presses his face into you once more, continuing his slow tease, his hand slipping from your thigh to circle your clit, tugging back and forth at the thin fabric covering you, refusing to push it aside. There’s an awful heat growing inside of you, begging for more. It’s not enough - but at the same time, entirely too much. You’re falling apart in his hands, his tight grip the only thing holding you together.
The worst thing - you might be able to come like this. Without him ever touching you directly - it could end. He has that much control over you. If he wants it to happen, it will - the realization only drives you closer to the edge.
“Pretty girl,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to the top of your thigh, his hand still tormenting you with its slow, delicate strokes. “You’re close, aren’t you? I can see it in your face.”
You don’t doubt it - you can feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, flooding every inch of your skin.
“And I can feel it.” He slips a single finger under your panties, sliding over the mess beneath, drawing a sharp gasp from your mouth. “Do you even realize how much you’re shaking?”
You hadn’t - your attention is entirely on him. “Please…take them off…wanna cum…”
He laughs softly, eyes darting to the place where your wrists meet your legs, your hands curling white-knuckled around your ankles. “How would I do that?”
“Then…pull them to the side…”
“A much more reasonable request.” He adds a second finger to the first, and curls them inside you, that strange smile spreading once again over his face as you squirm and sigh in a mixture of desire and relief. After so much denial, it’s not going to take much - you can already feel yourself clenching around him, his fingers working you up to the point of no return. “But then again…” He drops his gaze, following the line of his wrist, and - without warning - completely stops what he’s doing. “I’m not always inclined to be reasonable.”
Your mouth falls open in shock as he pulls back entirely, the gathering pleasure inside of you replaced by a stinging pain as he strikes the back of one thigh, then the other. His other hand holds your legs together, securing you by the ankles. He presses on, scattering red marks across your thighs, until he finally gets the satisfaction of hearing you cry out.
“That’s right.” He trails the back of his hand across your skin, then finally grabs the scrap of lace between your legs, yanking it up just enough for him to drag his tongue over you, luxuriating in the shuddering breath that seems to ripple out across your entire body. He’s not teasing anymore - he’s relentless, and you melt completely, only praying that he doesn’t stop again before your mind goes entirely blank.
He doesn’t stop. Not this time. Before long, you’re shaking again, only aware of his tongue, and his hands gripping your thighs, and -
You tense one final time, and then the wave comes crashing down over you - and he doesn’t stop, even as your head falls back into the mattress beneath you, a glowing sensation spreading over you from the inside out.
Only when he’s taken everything you have out of you - only then does he sit up, untie you, and flip you onto your side, wrapping his arms around you, pressing his face into your hair. He doesn’t say anything - and you don’t feel the need to, either. Like with everything else - you know that there’s no need to rush.
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SUKUNA.
Oh. You poor, sweet thing. You’re so fucking naive. Sukuna doesn’t give a shit about your pleasure, but he’s going to act like he does just so he can rip it all away. You’ve been so good for him today, on your knees, taking his cock down your throat over, over, and over, and when it’s finally finished - when your face is such a sloppy mess that you can’t tell whether it’s spit or tears or his come running down your neck - you’re sure that you’ve finally earned the orgasm he’s been denying you for days. And he’s being so much more generous than usual - he pins you to the ground, wraps his arms around your legs, and buries his face in your cunt, tongue finding your clit, sharp nails digging into your thighs, sending you hurtling towards the most intense climax of your life. You grab his hair and grind into his mouth, wanting more, more, more -
And at the last moment - the last possible moment - he stops. He stops, and he smiles. Ferociously. Teeth bared. His hand wraps around your throat - in a second he’s on top of you, the tip of his cock teasing you open, his face hovering menacingly over yours. “You want me to do it again.” It’s not a question, but you nod as if it is, and his fingers tighten dangerously against your neck. “You want me to make you suffer.” Again, you respond, this time with a fervent shake of your head. “Hm? Is this too much for you already?”
If you tried to speak, it would come out as a wretched gasp, so you wait in silence, your entire body tensing in anticipation of his next words.
“How unfortunate. I didn’t think you were that weak.” He presses his lips to your ear, and jabs two fingers into your mouth, laughing cruelly as you gag and writhe beneath him. “We’re not done. Not even close.”
His body glides slowly over yours, and this time, you feel a sinking feeling of dread as his tongue brushes over you. “Please…”
“That’s right.” He looks up at you for a moment before sinking his teeth into your inner thigh, and you hear yourself wail in shock and despair. “Beg me. Tell me how badly your worthless little cunt wants to cum.”
“Please…Ryomen…”
As soon as his name falls off your tongue, you know that you’ve made a mistake. He revels in it, doubling his assault on your thighs as he slides his fingers inside of you, their every twist and stroke bringing you closer to the precipice you know awaits you.
“Use my name again, and I will make sure that you spend your entire life like this. All pent up with absolutely nowhere to go.” Your cunt clenches around his fingers, and he pulls back a second time, running his knuckles over the dark marks slowly forming on your skin. “You have one more chance.”
“Master…” You feel like your mind has been ripped away from you. And it doesn’t matter - your fate will be the same no matter what you say. “I - I can’t…”
“Such a shame.” He reaches up to your face and parts your lips once again, forcing you to taste yourself on his fingers. “Little brat can’t even do the one thing she’s supposed to be good at.”
This third time, you wonder if maybe - just maybe - he’ll make you cum by accident. You’re so worked up - it won’t take much. But he’s going so slow, alternating between his hand and his tongue, not giving you nearly enough of either. You can feel tears welling up in your eyes, and he seems to sense them, pulling away from your thighs for a third time, suspending his face over yours, staring intently, a cruel smile spreading across his face.
“It’s so easy to make you cry.” His cock teases over your cunt again, and you sob in desperation, closing your eyes, trying to shut out some of the stimulation that’s coming close to driving you insane. He cracks his hand sharply against your cheek, and your eyelids flutter open. “Don’t hide. Even you know better than that.” He pushes himself back onto his knees, straddling your chest, and wraps his hand around his cock, his grin widening as you instinctively part your lips.
“Please…master…”
He strokes his cock over your face, taking immense satisfaction in the desperation written across it.
“Please. Fuck me. I…I need you.”
He tilts his head for a moment, like he’s considering, his hand slowing but never stopping. Your stomach sinks as his tongue flicks over his lips, exaggerating the ferocity of his smile. “No. You’ll cum if I fuck you.“
You whine - it sounds pathetic even to your ears. “Why won’t you let me?”
His eyes narrow, and he spits in your face, his grip on himself tightening as he watches it drip down your cheek. “You exist for my pleasure.” He hurtles forward, and his nails twist through your hair and dig into your scalp. You open your mouth without a thought, and he thrusts deep into your throat - you try to bolt backwards, but his grip is firm, and your weak efforts to struggle only drive him deeper into you, the sounds escaping from your lips only spurring him on. “For all I care,” he hisses, “you could go the rest of your life without ever having that release again.“
At the last moment, he lets go of your hair, and as the back of your head scrapes the hard ground beneath you, his cum spurts across your face - before you have a moment to breathe, he’s flipped you onto your stomach. Your clothes are lying discarded somewhere nearby - he rips a strip of fabric from your shirt and ties it tightly around your wrists, securing them behind your back.
“You exist for me,” he murmurs, his voice so low that it sends a fresh shudder through your body. “Not for yourself. When you’re not serving me, your fragile little life is worth nothing at all. So…” He rises to his feet, and presses the sole of his foot into your back. “You’re going to wait here until I’m ready to use you again. I suggest you spend that time thinking about what you’ll say when I return.” He steps over you, the weight of his body pressing into your spine as his sole pushes away from your body, and he laughs again as you squeal in pain. “Such a pathetic little creature. You’re lucky that I’ve found such a good use for you. Maybe I’ll even fuck you next time, if I like the way you beg.”
He retreats into the shadows, leaving you face-down, face ruined, still squirming, thighs clenching around nothing, your entire body still burning with desire. You’ll be good for him when he returns. He says that you exist for him…. and after this, you have no choice but to believe it.
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808 notes · View notes
andvys · 7 months
Text
I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 20
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Warnings: angst, kinda mean!Eddie, mentions of an ED, fluff at the end
Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader, Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Summary: Tension arises between you and Eddie when Steve steps back into your life.
Word count: 8k+
A/N: If there's any typos or mistakes, you didn't see them! @hellfire--cult thanks for feeding me ideas, I'm blessed to have you
series masterlist
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You can’t explain the awful feeling in your stomach or the suffocating feeling in your chest.
You have trouble understanding why it all feels so wrong when it’s all you have dreamed of for so long. Steve kissed you in a way he had never kissed you before, not even when you had just started dating did he kiss you with so much passion and love the way he did last night. 
His touch was gentle, his lips were soft and he was so desperate to feel you against him – you were just as desperate and the kiss just showed how much you still love him, how much you still want him, how much you crave him even after everything that happened between you both. But, not even the passion of the kiss could erase the things he had done to you. 
The moment it all caught up to you, the moment something else came to your mind, you pushed him away and you ran, you ran away from him and now you feel guilty for it but you couldn’t stay, you couldn’t stick around any longer. 
You found Robin and Chrissy, blabbering out what happened to you before you begged them to take you home.
Now, you are laying in your bed, staring up at the white ceiling. You’re glad that you haven’t had much alcohol last night. The sharp pain in your lower stomach is already bad enough, you wouldn’t want to deal with both a headache and the awful cramps. 
You don’t know how, but you manage to drag yourself out of the comfort of your bed. When the pain in your stomach gets sharper, you suddenly regret the plans that you had made with your friends for today. 
Your heart leaps to your throat when your phone starts ringing. You don’t bother to hurry down the stairs to pick it up. You know who it is but you aren’t ready to talk to him. 
Eddie had done nothing wrong, he had never done anything wrong. 
But the thought of talking to him or even facing him fills you with an awful feeling, one that you can’t describe. You know you can’t run from it, you had made plans with Robin, Chrissy and Eddie. 
You let the phone ring and disappear into the bathroom, you close the door and drown out the voice of the shrill sound. 
You hope that a hot shower will help you get rid of that sickening feeling but your mind can’t rest and every time you think back to that kiss, you feel that immense guilt. Why? You wanted it, you wanted it just as much as he did. 
Steve is single and so are you, there is not a reason for you to feel guilty about something that you had wanted for so long. 
Or, maybe you feel guilty for doing this to yourself… again. Because why are you letting him back in? Why are you giving him the chance to hurt you again? 
It doesn’t matter how he feels about you, it doesn’t matter how much he loves you, it doesn’t matter, not anymore. 
He hurt you too many times for you to just let him back into your life like this. 
You cannot give him the chance to hurt you again. 
The clock strikes 2 when the doorbell rings. You furrow your brows when you look at the watch on your vanity, the one you never wear. Eddie is always on time when it comes to you but never when he picks up Robin first, she is always running late. You take one last look at yourself, fluffing out your hair a little more before you drop the lipgloss on the table. You smoothe down your skirt and reach for your little purse, picking out your favorite cardigan on the way out. 
The doorbell rings again when you walk down the stairs, “I’m coming!” You sigh. 
When you open the door, you don’t expect to see him on the other side. The smile that tugged at your lips instantly falls and tension arises in your body. 
“Hi.”
Steve. 
Your shoulders slump as you take in the sight of him. The soft and apologetic eyes, the hopeful look in his features. The messy hair. 
“Hey,” you whisper. 
“C-Can we talk?” 
You’d rather not. The fear that he will pull you back in is too big. 
“What about?” 
You keep holding onto the door, staring at him as you try to calm the feeling in your chest. He had already walked you home last night, even though you tried to protest against it, he could’ve talked to you then but he stayed quiet, you did too. 
He licks his lips as he looks down nervously. The atmosphere around you had changed yet again. You were ready to let him back into your life. You smiled at him again, you talked to him again, you wanted to be his friend – he ruined it all with a kiss and he knows it.
“I-I’m sorry, sweetheart.” 
As you look into his eyes, you know, you just know, he is genuine about it. There’s remorse lingering in them and fear – fear of losing you again. 
“Steve,” you sigh. 
“I-I wasn’t – I wasn’t thinking about how much I would hurt you again a-and, I-I just wanted, no, needed to kiss you again. I messed up, I was a selfish prick. And I promise, it won’t happen again if you don’t want it.” He is pleading with his eyes as he looks down at you, “I loved every second of it b-but I shouldn’t have done it. I-I just, please forgive me, dolly.”
Steve had never begged for forgiveness when you were still together, he had done so many awful things, he hurt you so many times but he never begged for forgiveness, he just dismissed them and moved on and acted like he had never done anything wrong. 
“I won’t ever do it again,” he says, even though kissing you is all he wants to do. “I just, I don’t want to lose you again.”
You don’t want to lose him again either. 
Something about the look in his eyes and the sadness in his voice makes you feel guilty. 
You nod. 
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, “just, promise me that you won’t kiss me again.”
“I promise!” He exclaims with wide eyes, “I promise, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I-I know that we’re not exactly friends but I-I’d love for us to be friends again.”
Right now, you don’t see the Steve that hurt you. You see the boy you used to play hide and seek with. The boy who used to pick flowers for you. The boy who used to pick you up in the afternoons to get sundaes at Benny’s. The boy you made a pact with when you were little kids – that you would stay friends, no matter what. 
And Steve really needs a friend. He doesn’t have Tommy anymore, he doesn’t have Nancy anymore – who is left?
“Steve?” 
“Yes?” He asks, furrowing his brows when you completely dismiss his words. 
“Who do you hang out with?” 
“No one,” he says without a single moment of hesitation. 
It might be his fault but you still feel bad for him. You and Tommy were his only friends and now he has neither one of you left. 
He has no one. 
No friends and not even his parents to come home to – they are never there.
Maybe it’s the image of him alone or maybe it’s just the look in his eyes that makes you feel heartbroken, sad for the man in front of you, the one who used to be your everything. 
Suddenly, you feel the need to keep the promise that you had made as kids. 
You open your mouth to speak but the sound of a car – a van pulling up to your driveway makes you freeze in your spot. Your heart leaps to your throat and you swallow harshly. 
Eddie.
Oh no. You had been ignoring his calls all day, breaking the promise that you would call after every party – you didn’t, at least not last night. You couldn’t. 
He gets out of the van and closes the door. You are so focused on him that you don’t see Chrissy and Robin on the other side of the van. Eddie stares at Steve’s car with a frown on his face and when he looks your way, he freezes. 
Steve notices the panicked look in your eyes, the nervousness is written all over your face. He turns around. Eddie stands there with a frown on his face, anger in his features and disappointment.
Robin and Chrissy share a look when they find Steve on your front porch. They are the firsts to walk towards you, glancing at Eddie nervously. 
You tear your eyes away from Eddie when Chrissy walks up the stairs, brushing past Steve, completely ignoring his presence. 
“Hey!” She smiles but with a questioning look in her eyes. You know what she is thinking; what is he doing here? 
“Hey Chris,” you smile and greet her with a hug. She places her hand on your shoulder when she pulls back, eying the skirt you are wearing, her eyes lighten up, “oh my god, is it the one we bought last week together?” 
“Yes!”
“I love it, it’s so cute!” 
“Don’t you have the same one?” Robin asks, chuckling as she approaches you, eying Steve weirdly. 
He rolls his eyes and sighs. 
“Yes but it’s not the same color, Robs!” 
Robin gives Chrissy a teasing smile before she looks over at you, “hey wild child, are you good after last night?” She tilts her head in his direction, raising her brows at you as though to say ‘what the fuck is he doing here?’ 
You would’ve laughed at the nickname she just gave you if it wasn’t for the intense look that Eddie is giving you as he walks up the stairs as well. You see his clenched jaw, he is angry – angry that you ignored his calls, angry to see him here. But there is also a hint of sadness in his brown orbs and you can’t take it – you can’t stand to see even a sliver of sadness in his eyes. 
He quickly masks it with something else, just the way he always does. 
“Thanks for the call, sweetheart,” he says sarcastically, furrowing his brows with a fake smile on his lips, “I mean for thanks for letting me know that you got home safe. Oh and super nice of you to keep ignoring my calls all day too.” 
You can’t even look at him so you look down. 
Steve’s brows stayed furrowed, the tension and the awkwardness isn’t hard to miss. Eddie looks at him in a way that almost makes him shrink under the weight of his eyes. So he turns back to you. You are blinking, chewing on your bottom lip and breathing heavily. You feel guilty, so guilty that you can’t even look at Eddie. Steve’s heart drops a little. He remembers how he felt when Nancy kissed him, how he couldn’t look into your eyes without feeling like the guilt was eating at him. He felt horrible, even when it wasn’t a kiss he initiated or even let happen, he still felt guilty, just as guilty as you are feeling, right now. 
But you and Eddie are just friends, right? 
Robin and Chrissy look at each other awkwardly. 
“Eddie, I-I’m sorry,” you say softly, “I had the worst headache–”
“Yeah, I can see that,” he mumbles, glancing at Steve.
Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie’s attitude. 
“Look, can we just go?” Robin asks, wanting to escape the awkward situation. 
“Yes please,” Chrissy mumbles. 
You look up, slowly looking between your friends. You already know that Robin and Chrissy are both going to be too busy with each other and Eddie is clearly pissed – you have seen him angry before but the anger was never directed at you and you know very well how he can be when he’s pissed.
Before you can stop the words from spilling, you look up at Steve. 
“Steve is coming too.”
All four of them turn to you, looking at you wide eyed – as though you had gone crazy. 
Chrissy looks annoyed, Robin looks confused, Eddie looks at you in disbelief and Steve, he stares at you with softened eyes. 
“I invited him,” you lie. 
Steve shakes his head at you, he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to include him, this is not what he came here for. He just wanted to apologize and make things right. 
Robin looks away with a clenched jaw and Chrissy looks down to hide her eye roll. 
“Can I talk to you, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, tilting his head. 
“Yeah,” you whisper, nervously. 
You walk past Steve and the girls, clutching your cardigan tightly as you step out on the porch. Eddie places his hand on your lower back and leads you down the stairs and towards his van. 
“Eddie, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to ignore you–”
“Did something happen?” He asks and finally swallows the anger down. He can hear the trembling in your voice, the shakiness of your hand which might be caused by something else. 
He feels the urge to cup your cheeks so he can see your eyes but you keep looking down at the graveled ground. 
You simply shake your head. 
“Why didn’t you call me?” He asks softly, this time. 
“I was really tired and I drank too much, I wasn’t thinking.”
You raise your head a little, daring to look at him. 
“You’re lucky Robin called me otherwise I would’ve broke into your house.”
Your lips twitch and you break into a smile, “wouldn’t be the first time.”
He can’t help but smile back at you, his anger melting away. 
“I-I’m sorry for inviting him, I know none of you want him around.”
“Then why did you invite him?” He asks, not out of anger but out of curiosity.
You can see the annoyance lingering in his eyes, the same annoyance you saw in Chrissy’s and Robin’s eyes. 
You don’t know why you feel the need to explain yourself but when you look at him, you know you have to. 
“He is just a friend now, I promise. I-I don’t want him like that – he’s just my friend.” 
Eddie’s eyes skip over your face. Your brows are furrowed, eyes pleading and filled with honesty – he just doesn’t understand what the guilt is for. 
“I still don’t understand why he has to be included.”
“He’s alone, Eddie.”
His brows knit together and he shakes his head. 
“No, he isn’t? He’s with Nancy and bitchy Carol and fucktard Tommy–”
“He broke up with Nancy and he doesn’t have friends. Not anymore.”
Oh. 
If there is one thing Eddie knows, it’s loneliness. And he can’t help but pity him. There isn’t much that he knows about Steve except for the things that you told him and his absent parents – it’s something that he unfortunately can relate to. He knows what it’s like to have no one. But fear grows inside of him at the news of Steve being single. 
“Fine, don’t expect me to not mess with him though.”
You roll your eyes, snorting at his words. 
“You two will be menaces to each other.” 
Whenever Eddie felt vulnerable, angry or hurt, he’d put on a mask, he would hide his true feelings by putting on a front. He had never felt that need to do that with you, not until now. 
He watches you with a weird feeling in his chest when you walk back to Steve. 
Robin gives Eddie a pitiful look but the latter refuses to show how insecure or sad he is. He puts on a fake smile and looks over at Steve. 
“I always wanted to take your girl for a ride.” 
Steve’s head snaps towards him, halting his movements, he stops jingling with his car keys and gives Eddie a weird look. 
“Excuse me?” 
Robin and Chrissy look at you before they turn to each other, erupting into a fit of giggles at the double innuendo. 
Eddie briefly glances at you before he nudges his chin into the direction of Steve’s BMW. 
Steve squints his eyes, “yeah, keep dreaming, Munson.”
Eddie chuckles, “I will.”
“Wait, are we taking your car?” You ask, turning to Steve. 
Robin mumbles something under her breath and Chrissy shushes her in response, nudging her shoulder. 
“Can we talk, y/n?” Steve asks.
“Yeah, at the movies.” 
You know exactly what he wants to talk about. He doesn’t want to intrude and he probably feels awkward to be around your friends. 
“Come on.”
Steve sighs, knowing that you won’t take no for an answer, he just gestures for you all to get in his car. He expects you to take the passenger seat but instead, you take Eddie’s hand in yours and lead him to the passenger side. 
“You can sit in the front,” you smile at Eddie as he looks down at you in confusion. 
“I’ll sit in the back with Chris and Robin.”
“Uh–” 
“Let’s go before the movie starts!” You say before anyone else can protest. 
Eddie and Steve share a look, not a very excited or happy one, it’s more one of annoyance. Neither of them want to spend time with the other. But they get in the car nonetheless. 
Chrissy and Robin get in as well, begrudgingly so. 
“Are we still going out for pizza afterwards?” Robin asks, looking between Chrissy, Eddie and you. 
Steve looks at you through the rearview mirror, seeing the way you scrunch your face up in disgust. 
“Yeah, we can order some when we get back to my place,” you mumble, “I definitely need some McDonald's today though.” 
Robin raises her brows in surprise, “what, is that hangover food for you or something?” 
Chrissy chuckles beside her. 
“Not exactly.”
No. It’s not your hangover food. Steve knows it. You only ever craved McDonald’s once a month. 
“Hey Robin, did you tell y/n about your new job yet?” She asks, trying to ease the tension in the car. 
Your lips part when you look over at your friend, “wait, what new job? You found something new?” 
“Yes!” Robin says, pretending to be excited, “I’m starting next week.”
“Where?”
“Scoops Ahoy!”
Chrissy smiles, nodding in excitement. 
Steve turns around, looking at you, surprised. His lips twitch and you almost laugh. Eddie glances between the two of you.
“Oh,” he furrows his brows, “the ice cream shop, huh?” 
“Yup.”
Robin doesn’t even acknowledge him properly, just nods into his direction. Oh, this is going to be interesting. 
“So, have you met your co-workers yet?” You ask. 
She twists the rings on her fingers, shaking her head. 
“Nope, I guess, I’ll meet them on monday.”
“You don’t have to,” you giggle.
“Huh?” 
The look of confusion amuses even Steve. 
You point your finger at Steve, who waves at Robin mockingly. 
Her eyes widen, for a moment she looks shocked before she lets out a groan of annoyance, “you gotta be kidding me..” 
“Hey there, co-worker,” Steve says, unable to hold back his chuckle. 
She slumps back, looking very miserable before her eyes light up and she sits back up, “wait! Does that mean that you have to wear one of those sailor uniforms too?”
At that, Steve groans and looks away. 
“Sailor uniforms?” 
“Come by on monday and you’ll see Steve in a pair of skimpy sailor shorts,” Robin winks at you. 
While you and Chrissy laugh and even Eddie joins in, smirking at Steve, “are you gonna wear some slutty shorts, Harrington?”
“Shut up,” Steve mumbles, closing his eyes. 
“Alright, alright,” Robin mumbles, “can you start the car, dingus? We’re gonna miss the movie!”
“Yeah,” he sighs as he starts the car.
-
The drive to the movies wasn't the most joyful one you’ve been on. Eddie kept pestering Steve about his music choices. Steve kept rolling his eyes at him and Chrissy and Robin kept whispering to you. 
‘Why is he here?’
‘Why did you invite him?’
‘Are you with him again?’ 
‘What about –’
You never got to hear the end of Robin’s question, Chrissy slapped her shoulder before she could finish it. 
Walking into the movie theater has always been a nostalgic feeling to you, it always takes you back to your childhood. It’s oddly comforting. The smell of popcorn and butter makes your mouth water and you can’t wait to dig into the sweet treat. 
After buying the tickets, Chrissy takes your hand and leads you over to the lounge area while the others go to buy the snacks. 
The moment you take a seat, she starts bombing you with questions again. Rambling and throwing one after the other at you, not even giving you the chance to reply. 
“Chrissy–”
“No, please don’t tell me that you’re getting back with him,” she says, crinkling your nose. She watched you cry over him more than once, even before the break up. 
You shake your head, “no,” you mumble, taking a look at the others as they stand by the counter. 
“I just – he’s different now.”
Chrissy scoffs at your words, rolling her eyes. 
“Right, they all change when they get dumped.”
“He didn’t get dumped, he broke up with Nancy – and it doesn’t even matter! I don’t want to date him, I-I just, we’re friends now, I guess.”
Chrissy knows that Steve had always been more than just your boyfriend. He was your best friend, long before she became friends with you. 
“I just don’t want him to hurt you again, y/n.”
You tilt your head and smile at her, “please, don’t worry about me. I won’t let that happen, not again. We’re friends. That’s all.”
She nods at your words and glances at the others. Steve and Eddie seem to be fighting about something, she can’t help but chuckle in amusement. 
Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, leaning closer to him to mock him about something. 
“What’s so funny?” 
She tilts her head at you, “well, I guess, Steve tagging along makes things more entertaining.”
With furrowed brows, you take a look at them – Eddie is holding a bag of popcorn in one hand, throwing some at Steve with the other.
“Guys!” You hear Robin’s annoyed voice. 
You snort. 
Robin is the first to come back, annoyance written all over her face,“they are so immature.”
She hands Chrissy the bag of popcorn and a box of Reese's pieces. 
“They’re men, what do you expect?”
“You’re right,” Robin says to Chrissy. 
“Sweetheart, tell Steve that you prefer salted popcorn,” Eddie says when he comes back, “he insisted on sweet popcorn.” 
Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie, stopping next to him. 
“Here we go again,” Robin mumbles under her breath. 
Steve already knows your answer so he doesn’t even look at you expectedly. Eddie seems to look like he knows your answer too and he does, but today it isn’t the right one. 
“Uh.” You get up and look at your best friend with an apologetic look in your eyes as you reach for the bag in Steve’s hand. “I’m sorry…”
Eddie’s eyes flash with confusion and his face falls. If you didn’t feel so guilty already, you would’ve been amused by the look of betrayal on his face. He is so dramatic. You’d be lying if you said that it’s something you don’t love about him though.
“W-What?” He scoffs as his lips set in a pout, “we always get salted popcorn!” 
“Yeah and it’s my favorite but I’m craving something sweet today. I’m sorry, Ed’s.”
Eddie rolls his eyes and looks away from you, “and how did you know that?” He asks Steve. 
Steve could have been smug about it, especially, seeing as it makes Eddie mad. 
He shrugs, “it’s just something that we always used to get when we came here,” he lies. 
Suddenly, you want to run, you want to escape. So you grab your purse and leave the group, pretending to look at the ticket that you were holding all this time. Chrissy gets up to follow you and so does Steve. 
Robin and Eddie stay back though, glancing at each other.
It’s not that they hate him. They don’t. But they know what he did to you, they know how much he hurt you, how much you suffered because of him and he had done nothing to earn your trust back. He just weaseled his way back into your life and you let him. 
And despite his jealousy and the fear of losing you, Eddie still isn’t as angry as Robin is – because he thinks about your words; ‘He’s alone, Eddie.’
Eddie and Robin follow the three of you, he watches you, he watches how you interact with Steve and Chrissy, laughing at something he said. 
“I’m so fucking pissed,” Robin says. 
“Why?” He asks but keeps his eyes on you. 
“Because he will just hurt her again. I can’t believe she feels bad for him after the shit he did to her.”
“Well, can’t really fight her when she’s this stubborn,” Eddie shrugs. 
“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to be friends with her – I mean, when Billy kissed her he was like all rough and shit, and then Heather – fuck, when Heather told me she kissed Steve, I was fuming!” She says, looking up as she groans in anger. 
Eddie feels like someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water over him. He freezes and halts in his tracks, eyes widening as he feels his heart sinking to his stomach. 
“W-What?” Eddie mumbles. 
Robin stops walking when she notices that Eddie is no longer beside her. She glances at the three of you before she turns back to him and sees the look of confusion and sadness in his eyes – fuck. She should have known. She should’ve known that you didn’t tell him. That is why you didn’t call him. That is why you didn’t pick up any of his calls. 
“S-She kissed Steve a-and Billy?” He asks with widened eyes, “please, tell me you’re joking, Robin.”
Robin’s own eyes widen as well and she starts shaking her head wildly, “no! It was spin the bottle.” 
A part of him feels relieved but the other part is still tense. His eyes begin to hurt. 
He curses at himself for not being there last night. You wouldn’t have to kiss Billy if he was there, you wouldn’t have to kiss Steve. 
“B-But it was just a game, right?”
A guilty feeling overcomes Robin and she already begins to regret that she even mentioned it. 
She wants to say ‘yes, it was just a game’ but Robin was never a good liar and even if she tried, he would know that she is not telling the truth. 
“It was just a game,” Eddie repeats, “her kissing Steve was just a game, right?” 
He doesn’t even care about Billy, the kiss with him was just a game. 
“Eddie–”
“Come on, Robin,” he mumbles, shakily. 
He knows he has no right to be upset over a kiss. You are not even his to lose. But he always hoped, deep down, he always hoped that there might be a chance for him someday. 
“She told me that he kissed her again afterwards – outside.”
Eddie’s shoulders slump, his heart feels heavy in his chest. He feels so stupid to think that you wouldn’t do this. You could only resist him for so long. Steve Harrington still has your heart after all. 
“But Eddie, I don’t think that it meant anything to her. She rejected him and then came to find me.”
Her words do nothing to make him feel better. 
Robin looks at him, anxiously. She knows how resentful Eddie can be when he’s hurt and by the look on his face, she knows that he is deeply hurt. 
“Are you guys coming?” Chrissy asks, interrupting Robin who was just about to say something. 
Eddie looks down with a clenched jaw. He doesn’t even want to be here anymore. 
“Yeah. Come on, Eddie.”
Eddie follows begrudgingly. He knows that he shouldn’t feel that way. It shouldn’t hurt as much. You are still just friends after all, you are not his girlfriend, you are not his, your heart isn’t his. 
You never gave any signs that you wanted him back, not even once. 
He shouldn’t be this upset. He shouldn’t feel so jealous. 
But it isn’t just the kiss or the kisses. 
You have only spent one evening with Steve, kissed him twice and you are already distancing yourself from him. Ignoring him and his calls. He is already losing you. 
His mood only gets worse when he finds you sitting next to him, giggling at something he said to you. He rolls his eyes and sits down on the other side of you. 
You turn away from Steve and towards him, smiling at him, “hey.”
“Hey,” he grumbles. 
He doesn’t even see the creased brows or the saddened look in your eyes, he’s staring at the white screen. 
“How was the campaign last night?” 
“Good.”
“Okay,” you mumble and lean back again, you frown in confusion. Is he this upset over some salted popcorn? 
Steve looks over at Eddie, his jaw is clenched, he blinks faster than usual, he is pissed. He was pissed before but not like this, he seemed to have calmed down on the drive here and even while they were at the counter, buying snacks, he seemed fine and even laughed and teased him, now he just looks angry. 
He glances at Robin who sits next to him, she is chewing on her bottom lip and bouncing her knee, completely ignoring Chrissy’s rambling. The room might be dark, but Steve can see the guilt in her eyes. 
“Hey Robin,” he whispers. 
She rolls her eyes at him, “what?”
“You didn’t tell Eddie about the kiss did you?” He whispers, careful that you aren’t listening. 
She freezes a little and that is enough of an answer. Shit. Steve doesn’t really care about Eddie or about what he feels. He understands him but he still doesn’t care. 
He cares about you. Back at your house, he saw the way you avoided Eddie’s eyes, the way you looked so scared and guilty, you were scared of his reaction that’s why you avoided him. You didn’t want him to know. 
Now he knows and you don’t know that he does. 
“Are you not gonna tell me about it?” Steve hears you asking him. 
Eddie doesn’t even glance at you, he only leans further away from you. 
“I would’ve told you if you picked up the fucking phone last night.”
You’re taken aback by the anger in his words, by the curse words that he never ever directed at you. 
Normally, you would have said something but the guilt that you are still feeling makes you unable to talk. Besides, you are too intimidated to say anything back, scared that he will lash out on you because, clearly, he is deeply upset about something. 
Steve watches how you turn away from him, you roll your eyes but the sadness gives away how hurt you are by Eddie’s attitude towards you. 
Steve glares at Eddie, the urge to whack him across his curly head is strong. 
He nudges your shoulder and gives you a soft smile when you look at him, “you okay?” 
You hesitate, “...yes.”
Eddie narrows his eyes to look at the two of you and he keeps doing it during the whole movie. 
Normally, you would comment on certain scenes, so would he. Normally, you would laugh together and you would lean your head on his shoulder, he would wrap his arm around you. 
Today, he leans away from you and after a few attempts to talk to him or make him laugh, you give up when he keeps brushing you off. You lean away from him as well. He doesn’t comment on anything and neither do you anymore. He is still pissed and you are still tense, your mind is filled with thoughts that you don’t want to think about and despite the painkillers you took earlier, your stomach is still cramping. You are hurting today. 
Despite the funny moments in the movie, you cannot laugh, in fact, you feel like crying – whether it’s your period making you overly emotional or just Eddie.
Eddie is giving you the cold shoulder and it hurts, it fucking hurts. 
He had never done anything like that to you before. 
You have been close friends for almost a year now and not once had he said or done anything to hurt you. But now, he is giving you the silent treatment, the cold shoulder and you can’t stand it because it’s something that Steve used to do to you. 
Whenever he was upset about something, he wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t tell you what was going on in his mind, he wouldn’t tell you what you did wrong, he would simply give you the cold shoulder and ignore you for the rest of the day.
And now Eddie is doing the same to you. 
Eddie who you thought would never do this. 
The moment the credits start rolling, you jump up from the seat and push past Eddie. You rush out of the room after making up some excuse that you have to use the bathroom. 
“Is she okay?” Chrissy asks Eddie. 
“How would I know?” He snaps at her and gets up as well, leaving the others behind as he makes his way out as well. 
Chrissy scrunches her face up and looks at Robin, “what’s gotten into him?”
“Jesus..” Steve runs his fingers through his hair, “what a brat.” 
“Who?” Chrissy asks as she takes a proper look at his face for the first time today, “Eddie?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re right,” she mutters under her breath as she gets up, “I can’t believe I’d ever agree with you.”
Steve isn’t offended by her words. He knows that your friends never liked him and he doesn’t blame them. They have always been protective of you and of your feelings, something that he wasn’t when you were dating. 
“Let’s just go,” Robin says, “I need the pizza now.”
After some internal pep talk and five minutes of trying to keep yourself from breaking down, you leave the bathroom and step back into the empty hallway – almost empty hallway. You are almost startled by his presence. Out of all your friends, you didn’t expect to see him waiting for you. 
You halt in your tracks. He is looking at you the same way he did when he just came to your place. 
Eddie looks at your eyes, he notices the glassiness right away, whether you cried or not, he feels awful, despite the jealousy and the anger that he is still feeling. 
“Who pissed in your coffee this morning?” You finally snap at him. 
If he wasn’t so on edge already, he would’ve laughed and he would’ve loved the cute frown on your face. 
If he didn’t have a sleepless night, he maybe wouldn’t have been so pissed but the sleepless night was your fault. 
Even through the angry haze, he can see how beautiful you look today – you always look beautiful but something about the way you look today makes his heart race even faster. Maybe it’s the new skirt or maybe it’s the way you did your makeup or the fact that you are wearing his ring – you always wear it but, somehow, it means even more to him that you are wearing it today, even after the kiss with him. 
Eddie never gets to answer your question. 
Your friends join the two of you and interrupt your little tense moment. 
“Let’s go, we’re gonna order some pizza.”
You tear your eyes away from his, sighing as you walk past him. 
“Yeah, can we order? I don’t feel like eating there.”
Robin and Chrissy nod. They pull you away from Eddie and Steve. 
Both men stay behind for a moment, Eddie looks at the ground, a mixture of guilt and anger still deep in his features. 
Steve wants to say something and he opens his mouth but decides against it. Anything that he will say, will only anger the metalhead even further and he doesn’t want to risk making things worse.
So he turns around and walks away. 
You are surprised to see Robin and Steve sharing a knowing look when you all get back into his car, they both take a look at Eddie, who is silent, unlike on the drive here. 
Chrissy leans closer to you, she cups her hand over her mouth, “did something happen between you and Eddie?” She whispers, giving you a look of concern and confusion. 
You shake your head at her and shrug. You are just as confused. 
Her eyes soften when she sees the worry and the hurt in your eyes, she gives you a sad smile and takes ahold of your hand, trying to comfort you. 
Your lips twitch, you squeeze her hand back before you turn away, looking out the window instead. 
The day started off good, the sun was shining and the breeze was warm but, just like your mood, the weather had taken a turn for the worse. The clouds appeared like dark shadows over the pretty blue sky and the breeze turned into a harsh wind. It isn’t raining yet but you know it’s about to start falling any minute.
Somehow, the weather always matches your mood. 
“I thought we were getting pizza?”
You were so focused on watching the clouds move, you didn’t pay attention to where you were driving. 
Your eyes light up a little when you see the McDonald’s sign. 
“Y/n doesn’t want pizza,” Steve says as he pulls into the drive through, “she wanted burgers.”
For a moment, you forget about Eddie’s anger, the pain in your stomach or the guilt. Your eyes widen and a smile tugs at your lips, you have been craving burgers and fries all day. 
“Oh! Fries too, please, Stevie!” 
You don’t hear Eddie’s scoff over Steve’s chuckle, “I know, dolly.”
Eddie rolls his eyes and clenches his fist.
“Does anyone want anything?” 
Eddie mumbles a ‘no’. 
Robin simply shakes her head and Chrissy leans closer to Robin to look out the window, reading the menu board. 
“Oh, can I have a strawberry milkshake?” Chrissy asks shyly, already reaching for the walled in her purse but you stop her, placing your hand over hers. 
“I got it, Chris.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Steve mumbles, looking over his shoulder, he glances at you both, “I’ll pay.”
She raises her brows, forcing a smile as she mumbles a quiet ‘thanks’. 
Robin is awfully quiet and you just notice it now when Chrissy leans back and you get to take a look at her. She keeps running her fingers through her hair, looking out the window with tense shoulders, just like Eddie. 
What the hell is going on?
Chrissy looks just as clueless as you though.
When Steve hands you the bag and the milkshake, a few minutes later, you almost squeal in excitement. Chrissy laughs at the look on your face and takes the milkshake from your hand. 
“Do you wanna share?” She asks, offering you the drink after taking the paper off the straw. 
“No thanks, I need the fries now.” You rip open the bag, the smell of greasy food makes your mouth water, “I’m so hungry,” you mumble as you reach for the fries. 
“Want some?” You ask Chrissy and Robin, “I’ll share, it’s too much for me anyways.” 
Robin shakes her head, “nah, I’ll wait for the pizza.”
Chrissy takes some, “you’re missing out, Robin.”
“Right?” You mumble through a mouthful, “you gotta dip them, Chris.”
“Not in a strawberry milkshake though!” She laughs, “it’s gotta be vanilla.”
Steve glances at you through the rearview mirror. His heart flutters when he sees the smile on your face. 
“Do you guys want some?” You ask, offering some to Steve and Eddie.
“It’s all yours, hangry,” Steve chuckles, using an old nickname. 
“I’m not hangry!” You slap his shoulder. 
“You want some Eddie?” You ask softly. 
He shakes his head, continuing to give you the cold shoulder. So he really is mad at you. Eddie never says no to fries, he steals some from your plate every time you go out to eat – or he finishes the ones that are left on your plate when you get too full to finish eating them yourself. 
You exhale and slump back in your seat, feeling sad all over again. 
You look down at the fries, suddenly, not feeling as hungry as you did before. Still, you continue snacking on the fries, choosing to save the burger for later. 
Chrissy looks at you worriedly when you frown and look down at your food, sadly, not as happy as you did a few moments back. She knows that you had been struggling in the past few months, you haven’t been eating as much and whenever you do, you quickly lose your appetite. Whether it’s the past memories that take away your appetite or something else – you have a problem. A problem that Eddie usually tries to help you with. 
She doesn’t know what happened but she can’t help but glare at the metalhead. 
But Robin is acting off too, so when you finally arrive back at your place and you all walk into your house. Chrissy takes Robin’s hand and pulls her away to the dining room to talk to her. 
“We’re gonna order the pizza!” Chrissy shouts as they disappear in the hallway. 
“Uh – okay.” 
Throwing your cardigan and your purse on the dresser, you walk into the living room. 
“Should I get some drinks?” Steve asks you, following you. 
“I can do it–”
“No, sit down, I’ll get some,” Steve mumbles, giving you a smile before he walks past you, disappearing in the kitchen. 
You reach for the remote to turn on some music on the TV, you always need the background noise, even in a room full of people. From the corner of your eye, you see him. You are surprised that he’s still here, you figured that he’d take his van and leave the moment Steve parked the car in your driveway. 
A part of you wants to say something but the other part doesn’t. You don’t want to give him the silent treatment back, you are just scared of his explanation. 
On the way home, you kept trying to figure out what made him so angry. 
Did he know about the kiss? Did Robin tell him? Is he upset about that?
Even if he knows, he can’t be upset about it – even when you think about what Nancy said to you, it still makes no sense. Why would he be upset? You aren’t together. You are not his girlfriend. 
Then again, it doesn’t explain your guilty feeling either. Just like you aren’t his, he isn’t yours. You have no reason to feel so guilty about kissing Steve – you can kiss whoever you want. 
Besides, you went on a date with Ray and even kissed him before he turned into a major douchebag – Eddie never got upset about the fact that you wanted to go on a date. So he can’t be upset about this either, right?
It has to be something else. 
Is he sick of you?
Did he finally realize that you aren’t worth his time?
Did he have a sudden change of heart just like Steve did when he went from loving boyfriend to awful boyfriend overnight?
Did your radio silence piss him off that much?
He is still standing by the doorway. 
You can’t help but roll your eyes at him and of course, it doesn’t go unnoticed by him. You still don’t say anything though, too afraid to make things worse. 
The tugging in your chest gets even worse, if that is even possible. 
“What’s wrong, dolly?” 
All appetite is lost the moment you hear the mocking in his voice. You still blame your emotions on your period but deep down, you know that it’s not that. 
You feel the coil in your throat, the hollow feeling in your stomach and the sickness in your chest. You don’t know whether you want to throw up or break into tears. 
You can’t take this, not from him. 
His words weren’t even bad or offending in any way but to hear the tone in his voice, to receive the cold shoulder from someone who you wouldn’t hesitate to give your everything to, makes you feel like you’re taken back to Halloween – where it all fell apart.
“Did you have fun last night?” 
His question makes you frown. For the first time, you look at Eddie with a glare. 
“I did.”
“Yeah, I figured,” he scoffs and looks away. 
What the hell?
Chrissy and Robin walk into the room, both looking a little tense. 
“Uh, pizza is ordered,” Chrissy says awkwardly. 
She notices your heavy breathing and the way you are blinking quickly. The way you keep glancing at Eddie who refuses to look at you. 
Steve comes back into the room with a few cans of coke, he places them on the small table. Steve’s presence seems to anger Eddie even further and Chrissy is starting to get annoyed by the attitude that spawned out of nowhere. 
“Hey, are you okay?” Chrissy asks you. 
Eddie is not looking at you. He isn’t even glancing at you. He doesn’t care. Why doesn’t he care anymore? What happened? 
Your eyes burn. You can’t sit here any longer, you get up and walk away. 
“Hey, do you not want to eat your food?” Steve asks, pointing to the takeout on the table. 
“Not hungry,” you mumble. 
“But, you haven’t eaten all day!”
Suddenly, Eddie feels even worse than he did before. He let his anger control him, all fucking day. 
Steve sees your trembling lip and the tears in your eyes when you look back for a split second before you brush past Eddie and disappear into the hallway. 
Chrissy calls out for you, jumping up from the couch, she runs after you, bumping into Eddie on purpose with a death glare. 
He looks down with a sigh. 
Steve has had enough of his behavior. He shakes his head in disbelief before he walks over to him, startling Eddie by grabbing his shoulder roughly, pushing him forward. 
“What the fuck, dude?” Eddie snaps at him, trying to push Steve’s hands off of him but the latter has a strong grip on him and he pushes him towards the entrance, ripping the door open, he pushes him out. 
For a moment, Eddie thinks that he’s getting kicked out. 
Robin jumps up, looking panicked as she watches them both leaving the house. She follows behind, opening the door that Steve just slammed shut. 
“What the hell is your problem?” Eddie asks, pushing Steve’s hands off with force.
“What’s my problem?” Steve chuckles in disbelief, pointing to himself. 
Eddie scoffs and looks away. 
“Get your fucking jealousy in check before you keep hurting her!” Steve yells over the harsh rain that is falling. 
“She is not – I-I’m not..”
“Yes, you fucking are. You were fine before the movie, so I’m guessing you –” he points at Robin, who breaks eye contact right away and slumps, “told him something and I have a pretty fucking good idea of what it is!”
Eddie’s shoulders slump, he looks down, his eyes are burning. 
“It’s just–” Eddie’s words get cut short because what can he say? How can Eddie tell him he is mad because he can’t compare himself to Steve Harrington? How can he tell him that he isn’t just jealous but also hurting? How can Eddie say anything at all when he has no chance whatsoever? 
For a split second, Steve is able to see through Eddie, the look in his eyes gives it all away. 
“Eddie,” he sighs, hurting himself with what he is about to say. He could lie to him, he could leave it all like this, be your knight in shining armor and pick you up after today but he won’t use Eddie’s insecurities and your vulnerability to weasel his way back into your heart. 
Steve looks up, taking a deep breath. 
“She pushed me away when I kissed her and I think we all know why.” 
Eddie’s eyes widen. 
“Now get your ass up there and fix it,” Steve says angrily. 
A million questions run through Eddie’s mind but now is not the time to ask them. Steve won’t take no for an answer. He simply nods before he walks back into the house. 
Robin crosses her arms over her chest, she is impressed by Steve. She’s a little surprised, she expected a fight to break out, she didn’t expect this to be cut… so short.
“Good job, Dingus.” 
He rolls his eyes at her, “let’s get inside.”
Chrissy is standing in front of the bathroom door, leaning against it as she keeps trying to convince you to come out. 
“Please, y/n,” she sighs, softly. 
Eddie eyes the cheerleader warily, for someone with such a kind face, she sure gave him the kind of death glare that even intimidated him. 
He takes a deep breath. 
“Can I try?”
She turns around at the sound of his voice, snapping her head up with a frown. Her brows knit together, her mouth twists and she rolls her eyes but steps away from the door nonetheless. 
“Yeah,” she mumbles, “don’t mess it up, Munson.”
That is a threat. Yeah, with the look on her face, it definitely is a threat. 
He really messed up. 
He knocks on the door softly, closing his eyes as he tries to calm his breathing. 
“Sweetheart,” he speaks with a much gentler voice than before, “can we talk?”
Silence. 
“Please?”
He opens his eyes when the faint click of the lock sounds through the hallway. He grabs the doorknob and twists it, he opens the door and steps inside. You are sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wiping away the tears that keep rolling down your cheeks – because of him. 
But why? Why would you cry over him? 
You look up at him with glossy eyes and you rise to your feet. 
“D-Do you hate me Eddie?” 
His eyes widen and he shakes his head quickly.
Eddie doesn’t even hesitate, he immediately pulls you into a tight hug. His own heart breaks, not once in his life did he think he would hurt you but, here he was, causing you pain because of his own selfishness.
He can feel you clinging to him, your arms are wrapped tightly around him, your tears are seeping through his shirt but he doesn’t mind. 
“No baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being stupid,” he sighs, not even noticing the nickname that rolled off his tongue so naturally. 
“I don’t want to lose you, Eddie.”
The trembling in your voice and the sadness makes his heart hurt even more. 
Not once in his life was anyone ever scared to lose him, yet, here you are, the girl that he loves, scared to lose him. You could have anyone, you could have Steve but you are scared to lose him. 
Whether it’s platonically or not – you are scared to lose him and that has to mean something. 
“You won’t lose me, I promise, you won’t,” he whispers and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so sorry – fuck,” he blinks his own tears away, hating himself for what he did. “I’m such an asshole.”
You only hug him tighter in response. 
“No, you’re not,” you mumble, “just don’t do it again.”
“I won’t. I promise, I won’t.”
“I’m so–”
“Stop apologizing. Just hold me,” you mumble into his chest, “we can talk later.”
“Okay,” he whispers, hugging you even tighter. 
This is what you need. To be held and comforted by him. 
You lean your chin on his chest and look up at him, “will you stay with me tonight?” 
For some reason, your question has him stunned.
You have had sleepovers before, many sleepovers in fact. But, something feels different. He doesn’t know what it is but something has shifted. 
Something has shifted between the two of you after last night, he felt it earlier already and he feels it now as well.
His heart thumps wildly in his chest and he’s sure that you can feel it because he can feel yours.
“Yeah, I’ll stay with you.”
-
tagging mutuals
@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @succubusmunson @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked
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scribblesofagoonerr · 1 month
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Finding Light In The Darkness
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Anon requested angst, I wrote it... I hope this suffices!
I secretley loved to write this one-shot, not sure if I'll make another part to it, but let me know your thoughts.
Pairings: caitlin foord x teen reader, katie mccabe x teen reader Warnings: heavy angst.
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You've always found life hard, you'd not exactly had the best start in life, it had been cruel and you'd always felt unwanted.
You finally found a real family when you're taken in by your adoptive parents, Katie and Caitlin. You finally thought you had found happiness.
It was all going so great, until it wasn't.
Word began to get round your school about your recent adoption, your true idenity was whispered throughout the school and as a result, you were also left with hateful comments all over your social media.
It was easy to ignore at first, you blocked them out. You remembered the words that your mam would always tell you.
"Ignore them, Y/N/N. They're just jealous"
So you did just that, you put your head down and focused on the positive things in life, things seemed better... Or at least so you thought.
You should have known that nothing in life was so simple, nothing was.
"You don't deserve to be adopted by them"
"You're nothing but a waste of space"
"They'll send you back eventually"
Sitting there on your bed, you couldn't help but scroll through the various messages that bombarded your recent Instagram post, it was a harmless family photo. Why was there such negative comments on it?
The tears were quick to well up in your eyes as you read each and every single comment, feeling the weight of them like a heavy burden on your shoulders.
Through the last several months, you had picked up on several bad habits that you were successfully able to hide from your mom's.
You were desperate for the escape, you craved something to numb the pain and you found yourself reaching for your vape that you had cleverly hidden away.
Taking a deep inhale, you let the thick clouds of smoke fill your room but it did very little to ease the ache in your heart.
It just wasn't enough anymore and you needed something stronger.
Routing through your wardrobe, you successfully found the bottle of Vodka that you'd hidden and you don't waste any time in unscrewing the cap of it and taking a short swig. The liquor brought a burning sensation to your throat, but at least it did the trick to provide a tempory distraction.
Being the daughter of two professional athletes, you should have known how dangerous it was to vape, but the delicious flavours were enough to keep you hooked and keep going back for more.
Taking another swig of the bottle, your tears falling freely while your lost in your own thoughts, so you don't hear the door creak open and your mum poking her head round the door.
"You okay, kiddo? You're quiet today" Caitlins' expression is full of concern while her voice is gentle and soothing, yet to notice the bottle of vodka that you're quick to shove behind your pillow.
Your heart clenched at the worry in the older woman's eyes and your quick to wipe away the tears, trying to compose yourself, "Uh yeah, I'm fine, Mum. It's just been a bit of a rough day" You replied, trying to force a smile on your face which didn't quite reach your eyes.
Caitlin stepped closer towards where you slumped on your bed, her hand reaching out to brush a loose strand of hair out of your eyes, "You don't seem fine, kiddo. We've barely seen you since you got in from school" she noted, gently. "What happened at school? You can talk to me, kiddo"
You were hesistant to tell either of your mums what was going on, you didn't want to worry either of them with the weight of your own struggles pressing down on them, "Just the usual stuff, I'm okay" You mumbled, fumbling with your hands.
Caitlin didn't seem quite so convinced as she furrowed her eyebrows in concern, "Y/N/N, kiddo. Please talk to me" she tried to get you to open up, but it wasn't any use.
"No, I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine!" Your quick to lash out, flinching and pulling your hand away when your mum tried to hold it as you flash her a scowl, "I don't want to talk, mum. Please just leave me alone!"
The Australian woman is shocked with the change of your behaviour, "Y/N, I just want to help you, but I can't do that if you won’t talk to me, kiddo" she told you honestly.
"I told you that I'm fine, I don't want to talk about anything!" Your still screaming and lashing out, the spirit bottle falling down and it was now on clear view for your mum to be able to see.
Before you have chance to hide it again, your mum noticed it, "Y/N, have you been drinking?" she asked, the concern was clear in her voice, "How... Where did you even get this?"
Having heard the commotion from downstairs, Katie rushed upstairs to find out what was going on, shocked to hear the tailend of the conversation.
"You've been drinking?!" Katie was enraged, shocked to find you with a bottle of vodka that you had somehow got your hands on.
"It's not a big deal" You shrugged your shoulders, trying to avoid giving any type of explanation about this.
Katie's eyes widened in disbelief with your sudden streak of reckless behaviour, "Not a big deal? It is a big deal when you're 15 years old!" she said, frustrated with your carless attitude, "How could you be so stupid to do something like this-- What else have you been doing?!"
"Katie! Calm down. We need to talk about this rationally" Caitlin turned to look at her partner, knowing it wouldn't be any good to be frustrated about any of this, "Kiddo, talk to us, please? Where did you get the alcohol? You shouldn't be drinking when your underage, kiddo"
"I'm... I'm sorry" The tears stream down your face, the raw vunerability evident in your voice, clear as day.
"Talk to us kiddo" Caitlin's gentle presence was like a lifeline and you found yourself able to open up to them both.
"The hates too much, I can't cope... The bullies at school, the trolls online; I needed to find a way to numb the pain. It's too much" You tearfully confess to them, no matter how much you try and keep the tears at bay, they just just keep streaming down your face.
"It's okay. Its' going to all be okay" Caitlin is quick to embrace her daughter in her arms, wanting to just take her pain away.
"Oh kiddo" Katie spoke up, her worry now outweighing her initial frustration that she had at first, "Kiddo, I know it's a lot to deal with, but listen to me, yeah? Drinking isn't something that will make the pain go away, nothing like that. We're here for you, no matter what"
"Exactly, we're here for you. We'll go down to the school and we'll sort it out. It's going to be okay, kiddo" Caitlin chimed in, brushing your loose hairs out of your face as she just held you in your arms.
You felt a wave of relief wash over you now that you had confessed what had been going on; You were finally safe, you had your two mums' by your side and you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would now have the strength to face them head on.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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xxbimbobunnyxx · 5 months
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It was just a dream
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(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
Summary: So this is based on This request that @taintedcigs got and she gave me permission to write it because it’s kind of heavy. The request is based on reader dreaming about crying at Eddie’s grave but I did change it to you having a dream about the day he almost died. That’s just the way it came to me personally. You have a dream about the day Eddie dies, but you wake him in his arms, and he comforts you in every way possible. WK: 3k.
Warnings: In beginning of the fic although it is a dream I do describe Eddie’s death so read with caution if that upsets you, unprotected p in v, love making, fingering, hurt/comfort, Eddie being the sweetest goofball, fluff. 18+MNDI!!
A/N: I’ve never written a single thing where I acknowledge “the scene” or Eddie dying, ever. Like I always write AU with no upside down. But after seeing those photos yesterday I’ve been feeling very emotional and I saw this request and idk it just kinda came to me. I did cry writing it, but it also comforted me a lot. But pls pls read with caution if this might be upsetting for you. Thank you to my lovely @babygorewhore & @bimbobaggins69 for beta reading for me. Sending everybody love.🖤
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The muscles in your legs are screaming and your lungs burn with each step you take. The grey particle filled air feels like it’s filling your organs with each intake of breath. But it’s nothing compared to the tearing feeling in your heart, the anxiety and fear coursing through you pushing your aching body to keep running. The massive bite shaped gash in your calf is a distant sensation as your eyes zero in on the swarm of bats, eagerly searching for any signs of him.
“God fucking damn it, Eddie. Fuck!”
Tears stream down your cheeks and your throat is raw from the curses and screams you’ve been letting out for the last few minutes. At least you think it’s been minutes. It truly felt like it’s been hours since you watched him cut that rope. You screamed so loud you felt like your ear drums were going to burst. You scrambled back through the gate, injured leg be damned.
The minute you hit the ground, you didn’t stop. Not when you heard something in your shoulder crack, not when you heard Dustin screaming after you. You didn’t stop when one of those bats flew directly at you, you just ran faster, jabbing your spear directly into its heart as you went. And you weren’t going to stop. Not until you reached Eddie. You couldn’t. They’d have to kill you first.
The adrenaline in your body continued to push you forward, only a few feet away from the swarm now. You tried your best to focus your eyes through the endless streams of tears falling from them, and it took a few seconds but you finally saw him. Your heart lurched when you saw he was still standing, his shield held above him. It somehow gave you the strength to run faster, your spear slashing through the air at the bats to get to him.
“EDDIE!!!!!!!!!”
His head whips in your direction at the sound of your voice, a shocked look on his face. In the same moment he looks away a bat lunges at his side, taking a large bite out of him, causing him to cry out in pain.
“EDDIE NO!!”
You shove your spear into the bat that’s latched onto him and it lets out a shriek as it dies. Your relief is short lived because there’s a sudden stabbing pain in your already stinging shoulder and another one in your bicep.
“BABY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! FUCK!”
Eddie can’t believe you’re here, you weren’t supposed to follow him. He knew he wasn’t making it out of this, and now he was going to take you with him. He never should’ve cut that rope. He slams his spear against the bat on your shoulder, while you shove your nails into the one on your bicep. But it’s no use, you’re surrounded. Every time you get one off, two more are on you, and he’s starting to feel weak.
In that moment he does the only thing he can think to do, he wraps his arms around you, tackling you to the ground. His covers his body with yours, his arms on each side of your head, his face hovering above yours so your eyes can meet.
“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” Tears fall from his eyes and onto your cheeks, pooling together with the ones leaving your own eyes.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You soothe him, your bloodied hands reaching up to cradle his face. His eyes are shut now, his body tensing over and over as he uses it to shield yours against the bats attacks. “At least we are together, yeah? Kiss me.”
He obligees, his dirty sweat stained lips meeting yours in a desperate kiss. He kisses you over and over until he physically can’t anymore. His head lulling to the side against your chest. You hold onto him for dear life, barely even feeling the chunks you’re sure are being taken out of your forearms. You feel like it’s never going to end, until suddenly it does. The attacks all stop at once, a chorus of thuds sounding around you. Then you hear Dustin’s voice calling your names, it’s distant, but it’s there.
“Eddie, Eddie, they’re dead.” You shake him slightly and he groans. “You gotta get off me so I can take a look at you baby.”
“Oh my god!! Are you guys okay!?” You see Dustin’s panicked face standing over you and you wish you had it in you to make a sarcastic remark about how you’re obviously not, but you don’t.
“Dustin! Help me, help me roll him over, please.” You practically beg him, your sobs still haven’t stopped, the shallowness of Eddie’s breath taking away any relief you felt about the bats being gone.
Dustin bends down, rolling Eddie off you as carefully as he can. Eddie whimpers when his back hits the ground and you immediately shoot up right, leaning over him.
“Eddie, sweetie, can you look at me?”
“Bad, huh?” He groans, a slight smirk still somehow present on his face.
“No no, Eddie you’re gonna be okay.” Dustin is on his knees how, trying to access Eddie’s injuries through his panic.
“I didn’t run away this time, right?” Your heart breaks at the sound of his voice, this can’t be fucking happening.
“No, baby, you didn’t. But we’re gonna get you okay of here, okay?” You grab rub your thumbs over his temples, resting your forehead against his.
“Yeah, we just gotta get you to a hospital, come on, you guys gotta get up.” Dustin begs, tears fall from his eyes and it breaks your heart even more. You hate that he has to see this.
“I just… I need a second.” Eddie groans, his hand weakly reaches for your face, cupping it like he’s done a thousand times before, like you’re scared he will never do again. “I love you, I love you so much baby. You’re my everything, I’m so sorry.”
“I love you Eddie, I love you. It’s gonna be okay don’t apologize because it’s gonna be okay.” You rub your nose against his, he feels cold and his breathing is more shallow than ever.
“Dustin…” he turns to his young friend with a found smile. “You’re gonna have to look after those little sheep for me, okay?”
“No, no, you’re gonna do it yourself” Dustin’s sobs cause a new wave of your own to wrack through your body, shaking every bone.
“Nah man… you’re gonna do it for me…” Eddie smiles, patting Dustin’s cheek with all his strength. “Baby girl… you’re gonna be okay, okay? I’m … so sorry. I love you.”
His hands start to slip from both of your faces, his eyes falling shut.
“Eddie? Eddie!! No, no, no, no. Baby stay with me.” You shake his face, but this time you get no response. Your hands clutch onto his hair, your head falling to his chest. “NO!!! NO! NO NO NO NO!!! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!!! EDDIE NO!!!”
You feel like the world is shaking around you, you feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest. You can’t lose him. You feel warm hands on your shoulders shaking you as someone says your name over and over again. You push them off. You aren’t leaving him. They’ll have to leave you here.
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“Baby!!!! Wake up!!!! You’re dreaming, it’s a dream, I’m here.” Eddie’s voice finally gets through to you, and your dream hazed mind vaguely starts to recognize the feeling of his arms around you. You come back into your waking body slowly and then all at once, shooting straight up with a shriek.
You look around the room panting, it’s still dark, and you’re in bed. With Eddie. Eddie is alive. He didn’t die. The others got to you in time. You’re in your new fancier than you ever imagined, government tip off home. That you share with Eddie and Wayne. Eddie is alive. You start to repeat the mantra that’s become all to familiar to yourself in your mind as you feel strong arms wrap around you from behind.
“It’s okay baby, you’re okay, I’m here. It’s just a dream.” Eddie soothes you, pulling you into his lap so he can cradle you. He rocks back and forth, his hands running over every part of you, he makes sure to keep his grip strong, remembering that you said it makes you feel grounded. It makes you feel like he’s really here.
“Oh Eddie, it was so real. It was like I was really there again.” You sob into his bare chest as your hands desperately caress his skin. Some of it still has the same smooth texture you always remembered, most of it is rough from scars. But it’s just another thing that grounds you to reality, another reminder that he’s real and the dream wasn’t.
“I know sweetheart, I know. But it’s okay, I’m here, I’m always going to be here for you. I’m so sorry.” Eddie’s crying now, the guilt of leaving you, of putting you through this plagues him constantly. The dreams aren’t every night like they used to be, they’ve finally started to space out after almost a year. But it still pains him deeply that he put you through this. That on nights like this you scream out for him, because of him.
“It’s okay Eddie, it’s okay.” Your hands loop around his neck, pulling him close. You hate that he beats himself up, you understand why he did it and you’re just glad he’s alive, glad he’s here with you. But your unconscious mind couldn’t seem to get the memo. No matter how much you understood, no matter how much mental and physical healing you did in the waking hours, the dream always found its way back to you. “I love you. So much. I love you so much Eddie.”
“I love you baby, more than anything.” He wanted to apologize again, until his lungs gave out, but he knows you hate it when he does that. That you’ll just tell him there’s nothing to be sorry for, even though he will always feel like there is. So he does what he always does, he decides to show you how sorry he is without his words. To remind you how here he truly is.
He cups your face in his hands gently, like you’re porcine glass that could break at any moment. He rests his forehead against yours, just reveling in the feeling of being close to you. He takes deep breaths and you follow, you’re basically breathing each other's air but you don’t even care, you want it that way. He kisses you sweetly, once, twice, three times. The fourth kiss is more firm, but still so gentle. Your fingers lace through his hair as you shift your body so you're straddling him. His tongue softly licks across your bottom lip and you immediately grant him access, tangling it with your own.
He kisses you leisurely, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth as his hands roam your body. Your thin tank top is the only thing separating your skin from his but it feels like the thickest winter coat right now so you break the kiss to quickly pull it over your head. You press your chest against his, his skin against yours feels like a breath of fresh air and you sigh at the feeling.
“My beautiful girl, you’re so beautiful, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” His brown eyes are soft and filled with love as they look into yours. He gives you a gentle kiss before his lips start to travel down your jaw and neck. Gentle caresses of his lips and flicks of his tongue pull breathy gasps and needy moans from you. “Let me show you how much I love you.”
“Yes Eddie, please.” It’s all you need right now, you need him as close to you as possible in every way. You need him.
“Lay back for me baby.”
You oblige, rolling off him and onto your back. You situate your head on the pillows and he climbs over you with a sweet smile on his face.
“Look at you, you think I’d ever leave someone as sexy as you? Not a chance baby.” He leans down and kisses you, his ringed hand caresses your inner thigh and you shiver. He brings it to your core, running his knuckles along your underwear covered slit. “I don’t think I could go a day without you.”
“You went like… almost two months without me when we were healing.”
“Shhh… that’s besides the point, that was like forced, doctor ordered, celibacy and it was almost more torture than the healing process. Don’t remind me of the dark times, babe.” You giggle at him, your heart warming at him just being Eddie. He stayed that way, laughing and joking, making D&D references through it all.
“You’re so dramatic. But, you’re not wrong. I missed you so bad when I couldn’t have you.”
“You can have me now babe, all the time, forever, whenever you want. I’m not going anywhere.” He smirks at you as he pulls your panties down your legs, you kick them off your ankles and spread your legs for him. He groans at the sight of your slick pussy, bringing two long fingers and running them through your lips. You moan and your back arches off the bed when he inserts them inside you, immediately curving them to hit that perfect spot.
“Fuck.” His fingers thrust in and out of you at the perfect pace, his thumb comes up to circle your clit and he leans down to place gentle wet kisses along your throat. “Oh god.”
“Yeah baby? Is that good? You gonna cum for me?” His fingers speed up and he gently nips at that spot on your neck that makes you crazy, his cock ruts against your thigh and it sends you over the edge. Your body tensing underneath him as moans rip out of you. “That’s it, good girl.”
He fucks you through your high, only pulling his fingers from you when he feels your body relax. He holds eye contact with you as he inserts the digits into his mouth, sucking your juices off them with a groan.
“Eddie… I need to feel you, please.” You reach for the band of his sweatpants, tugging at the material.
“No need to beg sweets, I’ve got you, I’m gonna take care of you.” He pushes his pants off, freeing his cock and taking it into his hand, stroking it a few times. He runs the tip through your slick folds, bringing it up to circle your clit before slowly pushing inside you. Once his hips are flush against yours he connects your lips again, kissing you passionately.
“Oh fuck, Eddie. Yes.” He starts to roll his hips, not pulling out of you, just reveling in the feeling of being inside you. You clutch onto his back, pulling him down fully on top of you, just wanting to feel his weight on you.
“Mmm you feel so good, so so good, pussy is always so good for me.” He’s kissing every inch of you he can reach, your cheeks, eyelids, neck, collar bones. He finally pulls his hips back, slowly pulling his cock almost all the way out of you before shoving it deep inside you again. He repeats this action a few times before thrusting into you deep and hard. He still has his weight on you, and he’s not fucking you fast, just taking his time feeling every single part of you. With his hands, his cock, his lips,
“Eddie, I love you, I love you, you feel so good.”
“I love you so much baby girl, more than anything, I love fucking you.” He picks up the pace a little, his hand snakes between your bodies so he can rub your clit.
“Oh fuuuuck, yes, Eddie I’m - I’m gonna cum soon.”
“Yeah, cum for me, I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum undone on my cock.”
His lips crash against yours, his tongue immediately licking into your mouth, he’s hitting that perfect spot over and over again and his fingers continue to circle your clit. It’s all so good, and it sends you over the edge. Your orgasm crashes over you, you let out needy moans and gasps against Eddie’s mouth as your pussy clenches around him. He pulls away so he can see your face, and the sight has him spilling inside of you. He falls forward, his face buried in your neck. He places gentle kisses there in between panting breaths.
The position reminds you of the dream, the memory really, but this time it doesn’t sting, because Eddie is alive. He’s alive and he’s panting on top of you for the best reason, instead of the worst.
“Thank you.” You sigh, wrapping your arms around him, squeezing him tight. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”
“Psh! Don’t be sorry, I got to be here for my girl and I got to have bomb sex? Seems like a win win to me.” You feel him smile against your neck and it makes you laugh.
He rolls off of you onto his back, and you have to push the thoughts of that day from your mind again but you don’t have long to think about it because he’s pulling you into his chest, running his hands down your back and placing a kiss on the top of your head before your mind can fully go there.
“But in all seriousness, don’t be sorry, okay? You know I’m always here for you. No matter what. Especially on nights like this. I’m all in, always. I fucking love you so much. I’m not going anywhere.” He puts his fingers under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. He smiles at you sweetly, placing a kiss on your nose, then your lips.
“I love you Eddie. I’m always here for you too. I’m never letting you go. Ever.”
You nuzzle into his chest, just happy to feel him. Just happy he’s alive. You might both be scarred, mentally and physically, and they might not ever fully heal. But at least you’ll always have each other.
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The apparition
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a/n only fitting for to me come back with an angst after a month of disappearing. Do I think that this should have never seen the light of day? Yes. But oh well… Sleep token made me do it. Also, this a one shot. Won’t be writing a part two to this. Pain is pain for a reason. 🥹
warning: forbidden love, addiction, toxic love?, past trauma, brief mentions of sexual intimacy.
The part in italics is the glimpse of the past.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
He felt like a kid. Pushed aside once again. A rock. Kicked carelessly by the side of the road. Mindlessly misplaced. Carelessly ignored. Azriel knew his tendencies. That desire to be loved. To be wanted. To be longed for. That same feeling had him crawling after females who never reciprocated his affection. Yet he crawled back. No matter the amount of stabs his heart took. He always found himself reaching.
Was this something his brothers had warned him about? Yes. Cassian repeatedly sat him down like a youngling, pointing out the damage he was creating. The wounds Azriel was tearing open. The self-inflicted pain he was causing himself. Yes, yes, and triple fucking yes. But it was like a drug, and he was an addict. Addict that was so far down the line that the withdrawal was scarier than knowing that every morning his bed was cold, his arms were empty, and his heart had been bled dry. 
The corner street door creaked open. Alerting the lost spymaster. His senses perked up. Azriel doubted that it was true, but even now, even without catching a glimpse of you, he was convinced that he sensed you. But nothing compared to that wave of familiarity that crashed into him when your frame came into view. Chasing the last bits of air out of his lungs. His hands reached out in a frenzy of muscle memory.
“Azriel?”, and it’s the surprise—the hints of horror, almost pain—that sounded in the way you said his name. But his mind was too far gone to register that. So much of an always-alert spymaster. “Oh, no, no," you dragged your hand out of his grip, “You shouldn’t be here”, you shook your head, putting distance between you two. "Please," and here goes that plea. The desperation. “No, Azriel, we had a deal, remember? Last week was the last time," you hissed at him, turning to look over your shoulder. 
“This will be the last time," Azriel muttered. A lie. He knew that. But maybe you didn’t. Maybe he could lie to himself to the point where even the ones around him believed him. “Oh, no, I know how this goes." You shook your head repeatedly, “I warned you, you stupid fool." He could feel the frustration flowing through you. The panic. “You promised me you were decent. That you had a hold of your mental shields." There was nothing sweet in your tone as you hissed out, reaching to open the door leading to your shop.
“They were. They are," Azriel muttered, stepping after you. “Don’t lie to me. You can’t fool me”, you huffed, looking through the drawer, cursing as loose pieces of paper swayed, falling to the floor. And Azriel just stood there, watching. Drinking in every single movement. “When?”, you asked, wild eyes looking up at Azriel. And he knew exactly what you wanted to know too. Should he lie? Alter the date? Hide a symptom or two. “Last month," his mouth betrayed him, however, and he had a first-seat ticket to watching your face fall. “But it’s not bad; I have it under control," Azriel quickly jumped in, hoping to defuse the situation, “It just flared up tonight, I promise." Another lie. But if he wanted to get what he was looking for, he had to push this narrative in a convincing enough manner.
“I’m telling Rhys," you muttered. "No,"  Azriel cut in so quickly that it made you jolt. “No need, plus he is aware that I am seeing you," he added in a much calmer tone. “Seeing me or seeing me now?”, you pushed. It was the mess with Elain that had made him crumple. Had taken him out for months before he found his footing once again. Even if he knew that the relationship had an expiration date, the mating bond always won. No matter the stories others showed down one’s throat about the chance of rejecting it.
“All of it. Knows all of it”, Azriel nodded. Just one more, he thought, just for tonight. “I’m saying this as a friend. You can’t keep coming back," you whispered, “This needs to stop." It was Rhys who had found you. An illusionist manipulating people’s emotions, threading together images that felt real to the depths of one’s bones. An alter of wished they called you. People and even high-fea prayed at your altars for Mother's sake. You were something some feared and others were ready to sacrifice themselves for.
“What illusions do you obtain from?" It was your fifth meeting, and Azriel, much to your dismay, had pushed the idea of getting to know each other. After all, he would have to let you into the depths of his soul. So that had been his one rule—befriend me first. You had stayed silent for a long time. Twirling the red wine in your glass. “Of love," you muttered, and Azriel could have never imagined that those two words would alert all of his life. “Why?”, was a question brought up by pure curiosity back then, with no implied intentions. “It gets messy, and the falsification of love feels wrong. Such feelings shouldn’t be tainted by magic," you said, pushing your hair over your shoulder. You glowed even in the dim light. The curves of your body were breathtaking as you lounged in the day bed on the balcony of Azriel’s apartment. It was a lethal kind of beauty, and with a handful of heartbeats, he knew that he was already slipping. 
“I saw Elain today; she... we spoke, and I just..." It was a hell of a lie he was choosing, but the need won out in his logical sense. “Mend it for me; I can’t keep feeling as if I have nothing," he breathed out. His eyes filling up with tears. “Just this one time," Azriel said, sinking to his knees. He saw your walls cracking slowly as you rounded the table. Fingers reaching out to cup his face. His hands reach to hold onto your hips. Pleading eyes burning into you. “I should have never said yes, and I hope you know how much I regret this," you muttered, clawing at his heart. 
“Admit it, I’m a fun company." Azriel leaned closer, making sure you could hear him through the music. You had no clue how he managed to drag you to Rita’s of all places, but here you were. One of the finest silks on your skin. A private booth. The lights. The drumming of the crowd. You shook your head, suppressing a smile. “You’ve gotten cocky," you observed, “Who knew you had that in you." Azriel leaned back, undoing the first button of his black shirt. "Oh, there’s so much more you don’t know about me, baby," he said, speaking into thin air. Knowing that you could hear him. He had leaned in only to feel you closer to him. Smirking as he lifted his glass. 
His hands reached out, taking hold of your legs as he pulled them up, draping them over his lap. Caught by the sudden movement, you were forced to reach out. Hand on his shoulder as you steadied yourself. That’s when he caught that unrehearsed glimpse of need in your eyes, but it was quickly pushed back. “Now this is crossing the line," you huffed. But before you had a chance to move, Azriel clasped his hand on your thigh. “What are you afraid of?” He threw that question absentmindedly, not realizing how deep that root of pain was. “Wasn’t that what you asked me the first day we met?” Azriel smirked before averting his attention back to the crowd. Leaving you slowly breaking down beneath the feeling of him. Beneath the fear of yourself.
“I should have never given in," you said, lifting his chin, and he obliged without a fuss. “You liked this too. Admit it," Azriel bit back, his hold on you tightening. He would fight hell in hopes of being able to keep his hands on you. In hopes of keeping you. “We had a deal. No falling for one another," you hissed, nails digging into the sides of his face. “I warned you that my kind doesn’t do happy endings and picket fences, Azriel," you huffed. “I don’t need that from you," he argued, “I just need you to chase Elain away. That hasn’t changed. I still love her, not you." Another lie for the night. A bitter chuckle slipped through your lips, “You’re one shit of a liar, dear spymaster of the night court.”. 
You were to blame for this just as much. You should have stood your ground. Should have never been entertained by that wimp. Because Rhys had warned you. Told you about Azriel's tendencies. So the fact that he had asked for a night that would make him feel loved should have been a red flag. But it was the empath in you that buckled at the feeling of his sadness. The loneliness that could drown out the whole army. The crippling emptiness. The way he broke down crying as he held onto you.
But all that could have been forgiven. Could have been managed. But it was yourself that you threaded into that glimpse of hope for him. Something you had never done before. It was always a made-up face you used while creating an illusion. It was the safest way. But you had been just as selfish. Nights spent getting to know each other left you wondering what it would feel like to know the touch of a man who wanted you. Who craved you. Who chose you even though loving you was a forbidden act of insanity.
And then it felt as if sending a ship you knew was destined to sink set sail. The next time Azriel stopped by, he was barely through the door as his hand grabbed the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. It felt so raw. So powerful. Whatever was happening in that small corner shop was way too big for it. Too big for Velaris. The whole world. As his hands danced over your body. Unraveling parts of you no one had seen before. Laying you bone bare beneath him. “Make me feel," he had whispered over and over. That sad lost man, making you break your own rules as you wrapped him in the sense of eternal peace as he made love to you over and over again. Digging a grave for each of you.
“If loving that silly girl with flowers in her hair had an explanation date, this has the date of your death engraved on your gravestone," you whimpered, your eyes burning as you held back tears. You warned him. Kept on warning him. In hopes of being able to wash your hands clean afterward. Because he knew the consequences. Loving you wasn’t something that could ever happen. But it only dragged you deeper. “I know. I  remember everything," Azriel muttered, pressing ghost-like kisses over your stomach. His hands already slipping past the hem of your dress. Fingers skimming over your legs. You pressed your own hands over his, “Just an illusion this time, nothing more." You reached to pull back from his touch, but his grip on your thighs only tightened. “Let me make love to you," Azriel pleaded, and if you could justify the opium your magic gave him before, it was oozing out in ugly sores now. You had doomed him. Pained tears fell down your cheeks as you kneeled in front of him. Cupping his face with both hands. You let yourself take in the sight of him. Both because you knew that you would never meet another man like him and so you could torment yourself with guilt for fracturing him for the rest of your existence. 
“You’re all better now," you muttered, smiling up at him. Azriel’s eyes grew hazy. “Do you remember the night we danced in your apartment after way too much wine?” You pushed the damp curl from his forehead, biting the inside of your cheek so you wouldn’t break down alongside him. He nodded eagerly. “You’re there, my love, in that moment," you said, taking a steady breath. Savoring the warmth of him. The feeling of him being close. “But you’re not there with me. Because I’m not real, Azriel," his shoulders sagged at your words. You could feel him trying to pull back, but you kept your hand on his neck. “I was never here. Never with you. You dreamed me up, baby," you said, pressing your lips to his forehead. You closed your eyes, feeling your own heart shatter, “But it was a nice dream, Az, and you will wake up way lighter tomorrow.”
Those same words were like a broken record as Azriel jumped up. Body aching and drenched in sweat. He turned aimlessly, as if in hopes of seeing you there. But he was in his room. The black sheets covered his body. "No," he grunts, yanking the black silk off him. Without a second thought, he winnowed. To one place that had been calling for him all of these weeks. And he’s nearly falling to his knees as the side of the wall comes into view. No windows. No sign. A solid concrete wall. “I know it’s your doing," he screams angrily into the depths of night. Hands pushing against the solid foundations. But there’s nothing. Not even a breath of you. As if it were never there. As if for the entire time it was just the corner of the street.
“You can’t push me away," he roared, beating his fist till the skin of his knuckles cracked, “You’re a fucking coward; that’s what you are." There was no way he had dreamed it. That you were a fleeting image of the night. Drafted by his brain. “You promised...", Azriel sank to his knees. His hands still pressed against the wall as he leaned against it. “I know it was real; you can’t make me believe otherwise," he crocked out, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. Falling to the ground, he pressed his back against where the door of your shop used to be. His wings sagged on either side of him. And he just sat there. The stars up above keep him company throughout the rest of the night. He wasn’t gonna move. He won’t go. He wouldn’t go. The wind kissed his damp cheeks but he was numb to it. You watched him from the other side of the alley. Hand on your mouth as you drowned the shattering waves of pain within. You watched until the night took you away forever.
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badaleesbish · 2 months
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Bully bada smut PLSS!!
Pretty Little Kitty. | Bada Lee x Reader
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°CW:
𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆, 𝙼𝙳𝙽𝙸, 𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 (𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜), 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗/𝚎𝚍𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍, "𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢/𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗" (𝙸𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 😊), 𝙳𝙸𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙵 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳‼️ 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝚁𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂‼️
°AN:
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝙵𝙰𝙽𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽. 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚗𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝙱𝚎𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕 𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜. 𝙾𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙰𝙽𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽‼️ 𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽‼️ 𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜... 𝙴𝙽𝙹𝙾𝚈!!
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You always try to stay out of their way, especially her way. You tried to make yourself as small as possible, keep to yourself, and be unnoticeable. Smart choice, right? Wrong, it just gave them more of a reason to mess with you and make your life miserable.
This uneasy feeling sat over you as you could feel her eyes burning a hole into the side of your face. You looked at her desk that was surrounded by seven other females, her followers, her minions who literally worship the ground she walks on. Whatever Bada says, they do. Wherever Bada is, they are there, following like lost puppies.
Bada gave you a smirk followed by a wink while the girls around her chat on and on about their problems and relationships.
"What the fuck are you looking at, stupid bitch?" said the short blonde who was sitting at the edge of Bada's desk.
Without utter a single word, you quickly looked away from Bada's glance as the voice of the blonde startled you. You were afraid of what would happen next if you spoke but also afraid to even speak. Your body stiffened as the sound of the blonde's tennis shoes hit the floor with every step she took as her shoes appeared in your line of sight. A fist full of your hair was pulled until your eyes met with the girl.
"Answer me, you dirty whore. What the fuck are you looking at?" She said as her fist tightened its grip on your hair.
"Nothing..." You said, whimpering from the pain of the grip on your hair.
"Are you sure because I think you were looking at our leader over there." The girl's grip only got tighter as she whipped your head around to look towards the direction of Bada and the others.
"She doesn't fucking want you. You're too much of a dirty slut for her." The blue haired female said as she walked over, forcing your face towards hers as her nails dig into your cheeks. "Get on your knees."
"Please... don't make me..." You sob as the grip of each of the girls only tightened. This is so humiliating. You're getting bullied in front of your peers as they watch on instead of interfering, making this shit stop.
"Why not? You should be used to it by now since you have slept with almost every guy at this school." One of the others said as she and the other girl gathered around the back of your seat, forcing you out of your seat by pulling the seat from under your body.
"Yeah, I heard that you have been passed around like a blunt. Everyone has put their mouth on you."
"Minah, I'd say more like ran through. One after another."
The blonde and blue haired girls forced you to the floor. Your vision was blurry as tears began to well in your eyes. All you could do was cry. If you tried to leave, they would just chase you down and bring you back. If you tried to fight back, they would beat the shit out of you, so you cry until it ends.
"Shut the fu..." The blonde didn't even get to finish her actions as she lifted her foot to kick you in the back before Bada's voice stopped her.
"TAEYOUNG, DO NOT!" Bada yelled, causing the room of somewhat chatty students to fall silent. "Sit the fuck down. Are you fucking crazy?"
"Unnie..." Taeyoung said
"Did I ask you to speak?" Bada said as she leaned forward in her seat, eyeing Taeyoung.
Taeyoung just shut her mouth and sat in the empty seat beside the others, her head hung low in shame.
"Now back to you." Bada said as she turned her attention back to you. "Look at me. Stop crying. You look pathetic. We didn't even do anything bad to you."
You gripped at the skirt of your school uniform as you slowly lift your head to look at Bada. You flinched a bit as Bada's hand pushed the loose strands of hair out of your face. You knew she would never hurt you. Just reflex, you know.
Bringing her lips close to your ear, Bada whispers so softly. "You should stop crying, kitten. I would never hurt you, you know that, right?"
"Yes..."
"Now, go clean yourself up for me. Come see me tonight, hmm?" Bada said as she brushed her fingers through your messy hair, placing a kiss against your ear.
You nodded subtly, aware of what Bada meant with that statement.
"Okay, see you then." Bada said, kissing your cheek as she stood from her seat as the bell rang.
The other students filed out of the classroom, and the minions followed behind Bada, all except one, the youngest of the group. She stood in front of you as you sat sobbing your eyes out, crouching down to your level she pulled you into her warm embrace.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know why they do this to you." Soweon said, hugging you tightly as you sob into her shoulder.
"SOWEON!!" Bada yelled from the hall, causing Soweon to release you from the embrace as she scrambled to her feet and ran out of the classroom, leaving you in the silent room, alone.
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It's not like you didn't want to. It's just... complicated? Confusing? She is confusing, in front of everyone, she, along with her crew are so mean to you, but behind closed doors it's...
"You're mine, baby. I want you so bad."
"Let me fix it, sweet girl. I'll take care of you."
Like what the fu...
"Hey... you just gonna stand there? Come sit." Bada said, gesturing for you to come over as she sat on the middle of her bed.
"Okay..." You pulled yourself from your thoughts as you walked over and sat at the edge of Bada's bed. "Bada..."
"Why are you acting so shy? This isn't anything new for us. We do it all the time, right?" Bada brought herself close to you, moving your hair from your neck as she attached her lips onto your neck, kissing softly.
"Bada... I..." The feeling of her lips moving against your skin was heavenly as a small moan left your mouth. You wanted to talk to her, but it feels so good.
"Bada... I... talk..." You manage to form words as Bada's hand trails down your body, making its way between your legs.
Bada slipped her hand under your skirt, rubbing her palm against your clothed core. Your hips began to grind against her, pathetic just fucking pathetic, but you wanted it. You could feel her lips form until a smirk against your neck. She has you wrapped around her finger, and she knew it.
"Will you lay back for me, kitten?" Bada said, removing herself from your body, giving you space to get onto the bed. "All the way up, right on those pillows, sweet girl."
You crawled onto the bed, placing your head onto the fluffy pillows as you waited desperately for Bada to make the next move. Bada placed herself between your thighs, pulling your skirt up over her head. She pressed her lips against your clothed clit giving it light kisses causing you to gasp.
"Let's take these off, okay?" Bada said, removing the skirt from over her head and hooking her fingers into the waistband of your skirt, pulling it down along with your panties. "Now that's better."
"Oh, look how pretty." Bada dragged her fingers up and down your folds, bringing her lips closer to your pussy as she parted your lips with her fingers. She latched onto your clit, sucking and dipping her tongue through your slit. Bada eased her fingers inside of you as she kissed up your clothed body to your neck.
"Bada... uh..." You moaned as her fingers slowly thrust in and out of you, her thumb rubbing your swollen sensitive clit.
"Does it feel good, kitten? My fingers in your pretty little pussy?"
You nodded as Bada's thrust quickened, the sounds of your wetness filled Bada's room. Bada placed her lips against yours, slipping her tongue through your lips as she continued to thrust into you. Your moans fill her mouth as you grip onto her wrist, arching against the bed as tears threaten your eyes, and your legs begin to shake.
"Bada... I can't... too much..." You said as your legs closed around Bada's arm, but she pushed them back open, never stopping wanting to finish her job.
"Keep those legs open for me, pretty girl." Bada said, continuing to thrust into you. "Come on, I know you can do it. Do it for me."
"Oh... Bada..." Your body began to heat up as something snapped inside of you. It spilled out of you like an overflowing sink, onto your thighs, her hand, and her covers... well, that was new. Bada removed her fingers from inside of you as your legs squeezed together as you began to slowly come down from your high.
"Look at the mess you made, baby. Should I clean it up for you?" Bada said as she ran her cum soaked fingers across her lips, slowly wrapping her lips around them cleaning you from her hand. You bit your lip as Bada licked her fingers, pulling them from her lips into yours as she watched with smirk on her lips. Releasing them from your lips, you pulled into a kiss as she held you close to her chest. See, she is sweet when she wants to be.
You may never get the answers you wanted from Bada. Why is this so complicated? Why do you treat me this way behind closed doors versus not? Are you just using me for your sexually pleasure? Will I ever be good enough for you? These questions may lay unanswered and unheard, but at the end of the day, you knew your place.
You knew that she was always going to your bully that needed stress relief, and you were always going the punching bag that was her stress relief.
She has you wrapped around her finger...
Her Pretty Little Kitty.
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yandere-sins · 7 months
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Favorite
You are Astarion's favorite blood sacrifice. He decides to reward you for it.
Characters: Yandere!Ascended!Astarion x GN!Reader Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Warnings: Yandere, Vampires, Reader nearly dies, Blood being mentioned in all manners, Biting, Death mention, Minor sexual hints, Desperation, Possessiveness, Obsessiveness, Minor violent acts (not directed at reader except biting)
a/n: I don't have a big Halloween story for you guys, but I've been trying to get back into writing more and I've been working on this story the last couple of days, so I hope you enjoy it ♥ (I mean it's vampires so that's almost Halloween-themed right???)
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Darkness is a vampire's best friend. 
It shields them, hides them, benefits them—all without expecting something in return. It's nature's way of making up for all the pain and suffering it put its less loved children of the night through, and they welcome it, moonlight glistening on their skin, their perception so much sharper without the fear of sunlight's burn. 
Like eager partners in crime, a vampire's gifts are amplified by what the darkness provides. They stalk in the shadowy coat of the night; see the prey that wants to stay unseen. Their voices, mellow and honeyed, sound even sweeter, whispered in the ears of those who wander into the vampire's hunting grounds as the creatures lure their prey with promises of grandeur. Fame, money, lust. It seems to be all that their food desires. What more could someone want who's unaware of being tricked? And so they follow wherever the masters of night command them. 
Deeper and deeper into the darkness.
"Hello, darling."
You came to hate it—all of it. The darkness, the night.
The whispers and touches, promises and the hunt. You knew he had many more like you, living blood banks stored in cold, dark cells. You heard them scream every night when the bell rang twelve, the darkest hour of the day. Sometimes, you recognized the cries as the ones from days before, but you never knew when would be the last time you'd hear the poor souls lost in the darkness. New ones came and went, but you were the only one that remained after every night. 
Somewhere between three and four months, you lost count of the days spent here. You tried to remember how many times you'd been visited, but one miscount, and now you didn't know if it had been one or ten years. You would have expected to get mad in the darkness, alone and aching from your shoulders to your ankles, with no place on your body unbitten. But Astarion was punctual—perhaps the only good quality about him. That was the only thing to keep you grounded down here.
He didn't miss a single day of feeding or, as he called it, spending time with you. 
Alongside your meal, he showed up at exactly midnight every night, someone always there to close the door behind him without fail. You had never seen his face, but you had felt it plenty of times beneath your fingertips, enough to know he was one of those handsome bloodsuckers who kidnapped and locked you here. At least for now, as long as you were pretty enough in his eyes as well. Eyes that you felt creeping over your body the moment the only door to the outside opened, only more darkness waiting behind it. They mustered you, devoured you perhaps, an appetizer before the main course. 
You knew nothing of your nightly visitor besides his punctuality and his name. There was no face to associate it with, just the feeling of his cold skin and the sharp pain of his fangs in your memory. And yet, something told you he was special even among his kind. Somewhat… superior. He still had the capability to be gentle if he wanted, never causing you to cry out in agony like the other sacrificial lambs did. And more importantly, after all this time, you were sure he was the one keeping you alive.
"Astarion," you greeted him, simply, calmly. Hiding the shiver in your voice despite the room growing colder ever since he stepped inside. It was hard to say if you were still afraid of death when it was a constant threat like a noose hanging above your head. Perhaps you dreaded surviving more than dying if you thought about it, your heart growing heavier with fear and loneliness every day. But at the same time, you grew more and more desensitized to the screams and pain and more used to the darkness.
Hugging your body with one arm, you used the other to walk along the wall to your chair, the wood creaking as you sat down, scooting it closer to the table. He liked it when you did what he wanted without him having to ask you to. Astarion's steps were non-existent, but you needn't wait for or invite him to join you. You could always count on his chest pressing against your back the moment you sat down as he leaned over you from behind. It was a familiar yet suppressive feeling. A reminder of your position. 
You were below him, prey to be consumed. Yet, he treated you more like a pet, almost beloved, but at best, you were well-cared for. You doubted he could feel anything towards you that wasn't belittling. You'd not thrive in the darkness on your own, but Astarion knew how to keep you alive. A waft of roasted chicken drifted into your nose, hearty and mouth-watering, and you had no doubts it would be accompanied by sides that would nourish the dire lack of vitamins you had. He had always insisted on you finishing your plate, feeding you himself if he had to. It couldn't go that you'd not eat what he graciously provided. But this was the only meal you were given every day, and the loss of blood made you too hungry to strike.
You tried once. For almost a week, you starved yourself until you could not do it anymore. Continuing not to eat when you were starving and food was served in masses to you cost too much willpower that you didn't have. Likewise, eating the food with the condition that you had to sit on his lap and thank him for every measly pea he fed you one after the other was enough humiliation to never try that again. And Astarion had been happy since with your plate wiped clean.
"You smell delightfully today," he mused as he drew back from the table. You felt his lips brush over your bare shoulder, your breath hitching when he pressed them to the nape of your neck. You'd not put it past him to eat before you, even though he seemed satisfied waiting for you to finish most of the time.
"Garbor gave me new soap today. Roses, I think," you breathed, reaching forward to the cutlery that, no doubt, laid beside the plate Astarion brought. It just appeared, almost magically. But you were pretty sure it was there all along, Garbor, the guard, probably cleaning and switching it out while you were asleep. You didn't even know if his name was Garbor; you merely decided to call him that. After all, no one would speak to you here aside from Astarion, even if you knew they existed in the shadows. 
"Sure, if that's what you want to believe," Astarion chuckled, his comment profoundly unsettling as you knew what he meant when he said you smelled nice. Your blood. To him, you must have smelled as mouth-wateringly as your meal did to you. You had always empathized with animals, wishing for them to live their lives as best as possible, even if they were destined to be slaughtered. Ironic, now that you were cattle to a vampire, likely being fed according to Astarion's tastes. 
"Next time, I think I'd like something citrusy again. The last soap was divine."
His hands driving up your arms made you nervous. They were unfettered by your movements as you aimlessly tried to pierce meat and vegetables onto your fork, your eyes never adjusting to the complete darkness of the basement cellar. You weren't a vampire, after all. Despite the time spent down here, the broken fear and authority between you two, he could still make you nervous. And you talked when you were anxious, to the point you wanted to bite your own tongue off.
A mix of a chuckle and a scoff escaped him as he wrapped his fingers around your neck, his nails resting softly against your throat while his thumbs ran up and down the sides of your spine in feathery touches. Slowly, reassuring you of his presence. And the ability to snap your neck with this formidable cut-throat necklace. He readjusted his touch a few times until his pointer fingers pressed against your pulse on one side, your gullet on the other. Enough for you to eat and breathe, but you didn't dare to move your head. 
"I shall tell… Garbor, to fetch that for you. Anything else? Another pillow? A new shirt? Would my darling fancy some earrings? We just so happen to have someone donate a wonderful pair of rubies that would look so beautifully dangling from your ears."
A shudder went through you; the word 'donate' was not one to take kindly. People donated to charities and beggars. Not to someone who could put meat on a plate every day for you and obviously had no saintly bone in his body. Gulping down the chicken that got stuck on your tongue as you listened to the sultry voice of your captor, you put down the fork for a moment to think, clearing your throat as best as you could with his hands still pretending to be a necklace. 
"A candle maybe, and a book. I feel like now's a great time to pick up a new hobby."
You heard the grin spread on Astarion's lips as he chuckled, his thumbs curling inwards until you felt his nails press against your skin. "I do so very like those entertaining ideas of yours, sweetling. But alas, I'm afraid I cannot give you that. You'd end up preferring the book over my company!"
"How could I ever, Sir? I wasn't planning on going on a paper diet."
This time, he actually burst out into laughter, hands disappearing into the darkness as you presumed he held his stomach from the ache of amusement. You wasted no time to stuff two more bites into your mouth as long as you had the freedom that was oh-so short-lived. His hands banging on the table in front of you created an explosive sound in the small confinement you called home. Compared to the cold body pressed against you, his breath skimmed your ear warmly, his voice like honey dripping right into your ear. 
"That's why you're my favorite. Those little witty comments of yours have saved you so many times, you know?"
The food you were so eager to sneak into your mouth now threatened to fall out of it as you couldn't find the strength to swallow. Some instinctual part of you waited for him to attack, exploit your vulnerable self. It readied you, muscles tense, body paying attention to everything it could perceive (which was shamefully little with your senses so inferior to the vampire). But then there was the rational part of your brain, currently occupied with the warmth of his breath gracing your ear and cheek, and his words. 
Favorite. You were his favorite.
You forced yourself to finish chewing, slowly, embarrassingly aware of Astarion waiting for another 'witty' remark from his favorite. Favorite late-night amusement? Favorite person to take care of? Favorite blood bag? You felt his eyes drilling into your jaw expectantly as you chewed your food properly before you leaned forward to reach for the cup of water that was unmistakably always on the table. Perhaps because of the darkness, you were so very aware of your hair brushing his nose and the deep inhale it caused Astarion to take before he pressed his face into it, gripping a bunch of it with one hand and forcing you to halt. 
"You're my undoing, pet."
"Really?" you said in your most convincing, surprised voice, trying your hardest to sound as fake as possible. Revealing his thoughts to you might have given you a chance to bargain with him, even though this cell and the darkness had long become much safer than anything he could offer. In reality, you knew better than to trust the words of a vampire, yet found yourself truly surprised about the reverence they were spoken with. "It's hard to imagine I could do such a thing. I'm just sitting here."
Astarion hummed, amused, satisfied with your remark once again. Another chance at life, how you noted duly. Perhaps he liked the challenge of you playing his game, neither of you ever speaking the whole truth and coating your words in sarcasm and fake friendliness. Or maybe vampires were accompanied by madness that made them prefer prey who didn't cave as easily into a begging, sobbing mess. Prey like you.
 "It's been years—no, decades since I last took a liking in someone, and you have no idea how much I longed for companionship like yours. It's exciting and a bit of a tease. I couldn't bring myself to kill you yet."
"How very gracious of you," you praised, hoping he didn't pay close attention to your face, a grimace edging into your features.
"You know, I might even be convinced to return you to the light. If you ask, nicely."
And suddenly, there it was. You gulped as you felt your stomach twist anxiously, suddenly attacked by something you had long abandoned. Hope. A glimmer of it, at least. You remembered the days when you had still banged at the door, demanding and reasoning with anyone who'd hear you to release and let you go home. The early nights when you dreamed about the sun and the warmth of being surrounded by people. And now the time had finally come to reclaim those wishes, almost bringing you down to your knees. 
You knew you couldn't be so foolish as to retort to being a boring, begging nobody. You had to be his favorite. Crawling over the dirty floor and clinging to him for dear life wasn't going to cut it, no matter how much you wanted to. Because yes! Yes to the surface, yes to leaving all of this behind. Escaping him would be much easier when you weren't locked in the darkness. You had waited so long for the sweet embrace of death and endured so much pain when you were forced to survive pitifully like this. You even became his favorite. And now it was paying off—if you played your cards right.
"Ah… I don't know," you sighed. You could hear your own voice, thin and nervous. Excited. Your mouth was dry, but your heart was banging against your rips. Undoubtedly, he knew that, but you hoped Astarion would forgive your very appropriate reaction. Maybe even fancy it.
Every flinch of your muscles and every word carefully uttered was driven by a hope that Astarion could easily crush if he disapproved. You never saw yourself as exceptionally talented with words, but if that was what he wanted, he should have it. Your mom would scold you for being a brat, but this vampire here favored your attitude enough to keep you alive, so it had to be good for something. "I was just starting to get comfortable here. It's so… cozy."
"Well, I have it cozy up there as well. Cushioned chairs and silk sheets—only the best for my best."
It was strange to hear his voice in the same tone as his usual banter, even though you could detect another tone swinging in the background. It was but an insignificant waver, one of uncertainty and doubt. Desperation. Maybe not as much as you, but he wanted you to agree, his reasons unclear. And yet, your heart setting out a beat must have given away that you recognized his wish since he added, "You were always a marvel. But imagine how good you'd look by my side up there. My consort. My favorite."
"W-Well, are the beds soft?" you pressed out quickly, trying to avoid the sensual allure of his voice being murmured into your ear. You didn't mean to stutter, biting your own tongue before deciding to calm yourself with deep, quiet breaths that you hoped he didn't notice. But you knew that everything he said went straight to the unreasonable part of your mind, the one a vampire knew to manipulate so well. But in your desire to get out of here, eagerness and giving in too easily could cost you everything. 
"Very," he mused, and you were relieved to hear him still in good spirits, his next words almost a lilt. "Soft and warm. Like you."
"And the food?" you asked, gulping. You didn't care for the beds or the food. 
"Oh, the food!" 
His exclamation caught you by surprise, as did the sudden disappearance of his body. For a moment, you thought you had ruined your chance. Had gone too far with your hesitance. But next you knew, you felt his hand fall to your shoulder again, running down your arm until he had your wrist in his palm, lifting it to his face. Astarion planted one kiss below your thumb, then moved on to kissing the pulse beneath it. 
"It's delightful! Delectable! The best you ever had. And me for dessert. You won't lack anything,  I promise."
His promise meant very little to you, and yet, as he littered your wrist with kisses, you couldn't help but cave. It was everything about this situation, the hope, the reverent kisses, the empty promises, that blinded you from the danger. You hadn't questioned his intentions or the price you'd have to pay. Not when he spoke to you as if he was laying the world at your feet, promising you the moon, the stars, and everything beyond.
"Ask me, pet, and you can have it all. The luxuries, the world, me. All you have to do is ask, darling."
There they were, the simple, honeyed words every human wanted to hear. All feeding into your own desperation so perfectly as if they were made just for you. As if you were the only suffering fool in this world, and perhaps to Astarion, you were. The grin curling his lips upwards against your wrist revealed just how much of a fool he took you for when you opened your mouth again.
"I…" you hesitated. But not long enough. You had too much to lose, despite not knowing what you were going to lose agreeing to this. "I want to go to the surface."
"Do you now?" he smirked, and you felt the hard edge of his teeth as his lips parted in a wide grin. 
"I want to, Sir. I want to be your favorite. I want to be by your side. Please take me with you."
For a moment, there was silence, then Astarion let out a hum of satisfaction followed by a deep breath.
"Oh, you are, darling. You are my favorite. I've longed for this moment for so long, yearned for it every damned day and night, and finally, it's here. Let's be together forever, alright? It'll hurt only a little, and then we'll always be together."
"What will hurt?" you asked before you felt the sharp pain of his teeth sinking into your arm. You knew this pain, the searing burn of his fangs piercing your skin. You had felt it a hundred times, no, a thousand. But this one was short-lived, blood dripping from your hand as you bit your lip, holding back the tears. No one liked tears, and you were too close to your goal to ruin it now. 
"Endure it," he purred, and it was almost a shame that he noticed, considering how much you fought yourself to keep your composure. "You'll have to bare this beautiful neck of yours if you want to be mine, darling."
There was another moment of hesitation, the taut skin of your neck always hurting the most if he bit it. But why even did he have to bite you? What good were two more bites of you in this dark cell when he could assume you'd be at his beck and call upstairs as well? Astarion couldn't know of your feeble escape plans yet, so he had no reason to doubt your devotion. And even if he did, wouldn't he enjoy feeding from you in one of the more comfortable beds he mentioned?
But pondering was of no use to you. You had to comply if you wanted your dreams to come true. Turning towards him and laying your head to the side, you could feel your hair fall out of the way, baring your neck so beautifully. "Yes, Sir," was your short, meager reply, and yet your arm immediately fell to your side, one of Astarion's hands wrapping around the back of your head while the other weighed down on your shoulder, keeping you in place. 
 "That's a good pet," he mumbled, face inching closer to your body with every spoken word. You braced yourself for the pain, the burning, the mess it would make, and you took it like a champ, which you probably were after all those bites—at first. However, all the bites before eventually ended. They never lasted more than a few minutes at worst. But not this one, and that's when you realized your mistake. 
You gasped as you reached for him, grabbing his clothes like a lifeline to hold onto. Tears fell freely as the pain didn't stop, your body growing lighter while Astarion had little problems keeping you in place. "It hurts!" you sobbed as your thoughts became less reasonable, less controlled. Everything began to swim, and though you were sitting, you felt like you were going to fall. But even as you struggled to stay conscious, Astarion didn't stop, didn't care. 
By the time you realized you were going to die, it was already much too late. Your life was drained out of you with all of your blood. At least you didn't have to feel the pain of your crushed hope or the desperation of, once again, being stuck in this cold and lonely darkness. If you were honest, you looked forward to escaping all of this, as had been your destiny for so long. At least this way, you'd be free, too. Differently than you thought, but free nonetheless.
"Mhm, darling. Even now, you're ravishingly beautiful."
You could hear the voice, but your body had no blood left to supply your brain, so it could understand anything. You didn't even feel his uncharacteristically warm fingers smear a thick fluid to your lips, slipping in to coat your tongue, reflexes working even when you were as good as dead. 
"And you're mine. All mine."
At least you wouldn't have to die in this dark cell, though you had no strength left to think about what shithole you'd be thrown into instead. Your body was but a sack of skin and bones in his arms as he carried you outside, your head empty like your blood vessels. But even as you lay dying in Astarion's arms, getting carried away, you knew one thing for sure: You hated it. The pain and the blood. The cold and this evil man that had held you like a cattle for so long only to kill you just like everyone else in the end. You hated him. You hated everything.
And most, you hated the darkness that continued to surround you, enveloping you mercilessly as it cooperated with your murderer. Unaware that you, too, were meant to succumb to it. That your dying body was changing into that of a child of the night, a spawn to the very same lonely vampire you so willingly promised eternity to in exchange for what you believed had been your path to 'freedom'. The same freedom you'd never have now.
Because you were his favorite.
And he'd never let his favorite spawn leave.
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