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#and i would explain it to a friend/mutual but these are literal strangers!! if you demand a stranger recount their life story to you in ord

luminoustarlight · 7 months

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Passionfruit | Anakin Skywalker

Ingesting a foreign fruit leaves you and Anakin feeling strange.

rating: explicit | pairing: anakin skywalker x afab!jedi!reader | wc: 2.1k | read on ao3 warnings: literally no plot, just porn, SMUT [sex pollen of sorts, mildly dub con due to sex pollen, mutual masturbation, blowjob, cum swallowing, anakin spits in readers mouth, unprotected p in v, creampie, dirty talk], swearing

kind of but not really inspired by passionfruit by drake but covered by scary pockets. i really just use song titles as my titles bc I'm uncreative and lazy.

As soon as you and Anakin reach the ship, you both know something is wrong.

It’s in the way your conversation halts, the way Anakin looks at you with inky pupils bleeding into his blue eyes, the way you suddenly feel like you can’t breathe. Your first thought is that you’ve been drugged. You’ve been together the whole day, you haven’t encountered any suspicious beings, you’ve eaten the same things— “The fruit…” you mumble.

Anakin is peeling off his black robe because his skin is so hot, he feels like he’s going to burn right through the fabric. “What?”

“The fruit!” you repeat, tugging at the collar of your tunic. The symptoms wash over you like a tsunami making landfall. Instantly and violently. Sweat has formed across your brow, your entire nervous system is on fire and your cunt has started to ache.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Anakin shouts, now undoing his utility belt and taking off the rest of his layers. “Maker, why is it so fucking hot in here?”

He doesn’t mean to be cross with you, he’s just so fucking confused. Nothing makes sense. He has one singular thought. I need to fuck.

He’s so painfully hard, he’s not sure if he has ever felt this miserable. This desperate. He needs his hand around his dick or better yet, slipped inside a tight pussy. He’s pretty sure it’s the only thing that will make him feel better.

With Anakin’s broad chest and chiseled abdomen on display, it makes it impossible for you to make sense of the mess in your mind. You feel drunk, weak knees wobbling as you literally cannot resist the urge to touch yourself.

Before you’re even conscious of it, you’re ridding yourself of your Jedi robes and everything else except for your bandeau and underwear. It’s an out of body experience realizing that you’ve stripped yourself almost bare without consciously thinking ‘ I’m going to take my clothes off ’.

You’ve read about certain flora and fauna like this in the library at the Temple. Certain foods and flowers are known aphrodisiacs, containing a chemical that puts the person who is exposed to it in the mood. However, there are some that are so potent, it quite literally makes the person so aroused, the only way to remedy the symptoms is to orgasm. If you try to explain all of that to your Jedi companion, the one you’ve known since you were younglings, the words would come out as mush.

“Fruit… horny… we need to-fuck,” your already weak train of thought gets even more derailed once Anakin starts palming himself over his pants.

Anakin’s brow furrows but he doesn’t stop running his hand over his bulging dick. I want it in my mouth, you think. Although the fruit has left you and Anakin with the insatiable need to fuck, you feel a pit of shame in your stomach. Sex is not forbidden as a Jedi, but it’s not something you regularly practice. You usually take care of it yourself, as you’re too afraid to partake in something so intimate with a stranger. It makes you wonder if Anakin simply uses his hand or goes out of his way to find someone to have sex with…

Possession quickly swallows up all of the shame you were feeling. Imagining Anakin with his lips on someone else, his cock inside someone else, making someone else cum— it makes you want to puke. You want him all to yourself. He’s your best friend, you’ve saved each other’s skin countless times, your bond is like no other. And now it’s going to be irrevocably changed because of something you ingested. Not because you finally acted on your true feelings for him.

“The- the fruit made us… fuck,” Anakin groans. “I need to take my cock out, it hurts so much.”

“I know, Ani,” you watch him intently, impulses absolutely impossible to ignore. As he removes his pants and takes a firm hold of his cock, your hand slips beneath the waistband of your underwear and you begin rubbing quick circles over your clit. “Oh…” you whimper, even though you’ve barely scratched the surface of satisfaction.

“Take it off,” he says darkly. His dick is throbbing and leaking an obscene amount of precum. His hand moves up and down with ease, brushing his thumb over his tip with each upward stroke. “Take off the rest of your fucking clothes, Y/N. I need to see you.”

You nod, wriggling out of your underwear and slipping your bandeau over your head. Your fingers are back inside of you, prodding as deep as you can go. Anakin is going feral watching you fuck yourself with your fingers. Pretty tits on display for him, even more perfect than he imagined.

Maker, he’s in awe of you. He always thought you were cute growing up. But then you seemed to blossom overnight and suddenly you were a woman. He wants to worship every inch of you, run his hands over the hills and valleys of your body, and then he wants to fuck you stupid. To fuck you so hard you’re screaming nothing but his name and seeing stars.

“Keep touching yourself, Ani. It’s the only way we’ll feel better.”

The wet sounds of both of your sexes fill the hull of the ship and you think briefly, that this is one of the worst places to experience the effects of a foreign fruit. At least it’s just the two of you on this mission. Just the two of you, the most mischievous Jedi pair the Order has ever seen, mutually masturbating in a Republic commissioned ship. And it’s not enough. Your fingers have never felt so pointless and disappointing in your entire life.

“More…” you mumble, pulling your fingers from your cunt as they were doing you no good. “Anakin, I need more.”

“Fuck,” he breathes, bottom lip catching between his teeth. Your pussy clenches pitifully as you imagine what it’d feel like to be filled with Anakin’s cock. He’s thick and long, and you’ve never particularly thought of dicks as pretty, but Stars, if Anakin’s isn’t the definition of pretty then you don’t know what is. “I’m gonna cum- I can’t help it, angel. It’s- fuckfuckfuck-”

You’re in front of Anakin in a flash, dropping to your knees and throwing your mouth over his cock just as he begins to cum. Anakin can’t help but push you further down his length, groaning loudly when you choke on him. “Shit- that’s it, choke on my cock, baby.” Anakin pushes your hair away from your face to see you looking up at him with the wickedest eyes. He knows you need more and even though he’s just cum himself, he doesn’t feel too much better. It’s a good thing he was going to fuck you regardless.

Your nose is nuzzled against his tuft of hair and the musky scent of him makes you dizzy. You’re rubbing your clit again, but it’s no use. Nothing is going to make you feel better but Anakin. You’d settle for his fingers or even his mouth. You just need him.

Once Anakin is sure he’s milked everything out, he pulls his cock out of your mouth. There’s still cum on your tongue when he leans down to kiss you, pulling you up from the ground with just his hand around your neck. Your tongues dance around each other briefly before Anakin breaks away. “Open.”

You open your mouth and Anakin spits the cocktail of your saliva and his cum back into your mouth. It’s the most erotic thing you’ve ever experienced. It makes your whole predicament worse. It’s actually cruel that Anakin has already cum and you’re still miserable. You’re still suffering the effects of the fruit. “Ani, please. I need to-”

“Get on the floor,” he orders. “On your back.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You hiss at the cool metal flooring of the ship, but it’s honestly like an ice pack on a battle wound. It feels amazing against the burning inferno you’re feeling from the inside out. This isn’t how Anakin imagined ravishing you. Ideally, he’d make you writhe against the mattress with his fingers, then with his mouth. It isn’t until you’ve cum at least twice, does he go about making you cum around his cock. But unfortunately, urgency is of the utmost importance.

As he lifts your leg over his shoulder, his cock brushes against your folds. You whimper at the all-too-brief contact with his weeping tip. He’s going to stretch you out, going to hit so deeply you won’t be able to fucking walk for a day. “Oh my Gods, Anakin, please. I feel like I’m dying.”

His perfect pink lips form a devilish smirk before he finally, finally pushes himself into you. Immediately, the fire feels like it’s beginning to extinguish. He hasn’t even begun to move yet. “Need my cock to save you, baby?”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you wish you cared enough to come up with a retort but it just feels so good to have Anakin inside of you. “Sh-shut up,” you clench your walls to tease him back. “Fuck me, Anakin. Hard.”

“You’re gonna get it hard for being a little bitch just then.” Anakin nips at your ankle as he draws his cock almost entirely out of your cunt before ramming back in so forcefully it makes you scream. Like, bloody murder scream. “Louder, honey. I can’t hear you,” he taunts.

“Fuck!” Your arms stretch above your head, gripping onto the grated floor so you aren’t pushed away with each demanding thrust Anakin delivers. There’s no finesse to it, really, he’s just fucking you hard like you asked. His knees are probably aching from the uncomfortable surface of the floor but he doesn’t seem to give it much attention.

“Is this how you wanted it, then? To be fucked so hard you’re basically just a toy?” Anakin leans down, which makes your hamstring stretch and sting as your knee is practically next to your face. The new angle with which Anakin’s cock is entering you is divine. You feel like he’s in your stomach with how deep the tip of him is hitting.

“Mmmm,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around Anakin’s neck. You tug at his grown-out hair, bringing him down to your mouth. He still tastes a bit like his cum, along with the salty sweat that has formed over the top of his lip. You drag your hands down the expanse of his back, muscles tensing under you with each thrust.

He’s driving into you with strong, punctuated movements. He kisses along your neck, over your racing pulse, and bites down. He hollows his cheeks to leave a mark that will remind both of you of the time you ate a fruit that made you carnal for each other. He soothes his tongue over your new bruise before leaving a butterfly kiss on your jaw. When his mouth settles over your ear, his hot breath sends a new wave of tingles down to your toes. “Feels so good, angel. Maker, your cunt is perfect. Just the tightest little hole for me to use.”

“All yours, Ani-” your thought is cut off when Anakin’s gloved hand presses against your clit. Your back arches off of the floor and you know it’s only a matter of seconds before you finally reach your peak. Anakin knows just how to rub you so it pushes you along. Your long-awaited orgasm explodes like a firecracker. It jolts through your body, your pussy pulsates rapidly around Anakin and that sends him over the edge, too. He’s cumming for a second time and thankfully, he actually feels satiated. He just hopes you do too, because he’s exhausted and aching.

It takes you several moments to calm down from your orgasm but the fog has finally begun to dissipate from your head. Anakin pulls his softening dick from you and collapses next to you on the floor. His chest is heaving from the exertion, which is understandable. But then he just starts laughing.

You turn to look at him, totally puzzled. “What?” you can’t help but smile too, because his laugh is just that infectious.

“I just can’t believe it took eating a fruit for us to finally make a move.”

“We kind of didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah,” Anakin sighs.

“Wait,” you prop your head up on your elbow. “You wanted to… you know…with me before eating the fruit?”

Anakin mirrors you. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you?”

You roll your eyes. “Could you be any more conceited, Anakin Skywalker?”

“Actually, I could.”

Yeah, he could. That was a stupid question. So your suspicions were right, after all.

You and Anakin have always been close. A bit too close for the Council’s liking if we’re being honest. They would be lying if they said they weren’t worried about the two of you.

It’s a good thing they will never know about the mess you two made in this Republic star ship.

◂ anakin masterlist ▸ main masterlist

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker fan fiction #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin skywalker x f!reader #anakin skywalker x afab!reader #anakin skywalker x jedi!reader

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sebuckyverse · 1 year

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for a good time, call [4]

modern!rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

series summary: Eddie Munson is a burnt out rockstar, touring the country. When he finds a phone number written on a bathroom wall, he strikes an unusual friendship with a coffee shop barista who has no idea who he is.

warnings: 18+ cussing, m!masturbation, dirty talk, flirting, self-doubt, misunderstandings, mutual pining, angst, strangers to friends to lovers word count: 5,2k

an: the penultimate chapter!! i'm sorry for... the ending mwahaha, i love pain y'all know that. anyway i hope you like it as always, pls let me know. don't forget to reblog babes! <3

chapter three ♫ masterlist ♫ askbox

chapter four ♫♪♩·.¸¸

Eddie's in New York. He loves this city, the one that never sleeps. It's so different from Hawkins. New York is fast paced, bustling crowds full of people rushing to wherever they were going. Eddie feels like he blends in, no one pays attention to him because they don't have the time typically. The past two weeks have been quick, time is flying by with the end of the year in sight. Eddie's been busy too. Besides his usual routine of touring, he's been silently seeking new management. He's had a couple meetings with potential new managers, under the radar of course. They were both successful, he'd say. But there was one woman who he really liked. She was a bit older, in her 40s maybe, but she was smart, experienced and compassionate when Eddie talked about his professional struggles with his current team. She kind of reminded him of his mom, too...

The two shows they have in Madison Square Garden start tomorrow and to be honest, he feels bittersweet about it. This is literally his dream coming true, both shows have been nearly sold out too. While he's extremely grateful to be playing at one of the biggest stages, he feels guilt and shame, it's been gnawing his stomach the moment they arrived in the city last night. He didn't get much sleep over it, either, and he gave up trying when the sun first peeked out from the horizon.

It's only a little after 7am, when he takes a walk through the concrete jungle, walking past the Garden with the Empire State Building looming behind it. He's in comfortable clothes - light blue jeans, ripped at the left knee and right thigh, a simple grey hoodie pulled over his head, with his hair in a low bun underneath and his signature jean vest pulled on top, rocking a pair of white high top sneakers on his feet. And since it was early morning and he wasn't in work mode yet, he had his glasses on. Round shaped with thick, clear rims. From his left pocket, he pulls out his phone and finally dials the number he's been avoiding like the plague.

''Eddie? Is that you, son?'' Wayne's voice shoots out after a couple of rings.

''Yeah, it's me.'' Eddie sighs, thankful he was outside as he could already feel his chest tightening. ''Before you say anything, j-just let me explain, please.''

Wayne doesn't say anything and Eddie takes a deep breath before letting go, ''I've been stupid and selfish. I've let other people control me and my life for so long now, when I should've been the one in charge. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I trusted the wrong people. I pushed you away because you were the only sensible thing I had left and I didn't want you to see the loser I had become. Unbeknownst to them, someone has helped me see the things a bit more clearly. I'm still figuring some stuff out, but I just wanted you to know that I'm really fucking sorry and I miss you.''

He feels like a ton has been lifted off his shoulders. Eddie sniffs and clears his throat. It takes Wayne a minute to process, so he just keeps walking in silence.

''First of all, you're not stupid. You're young and making mistakes is part of growing up. Now I would have appreciated if you had figured things out sooner, but I'm glad you did. I didn't want to push too much, I knew you needed to fight your way out of this yourself. I've been keeping tabs on you, some kids showed me the way around a computer.'' Wayne chuckles and it makes Eddie huff along, too. ''I miss you too, son. You're the furthest thing from a failure, Ed, and I'm very proud of you. You're a brilliant young man, I need you to remember that.''

Eddie swallows thickly, fixing his glasses. ''You're the one I look up to, so whatever I may be - it all came from you.''

''Oh, I don't know about any of that,'' his uncle drawls, ''you were always independent, looked out for yourself. I was just there when you needed me.''

''I always need you. I'm in New York right now, we're playing the Garden... Like I always wanted,'' Eddie says, his voice getting quieter.

''What's the matter then? You don't sound too happy about it.''

''No, I am,'' Eddie defended, ''It's just weird without you here, I guess I always pictured it differently. I was thinking - maybe I could fly you out for a show?''

''I'd like that. Not tomorrow though, I'm working,'' Wayne replied and Eddie smiled to himself, blinking away the (happy) tears that threatened to fall.

''That's fine, the day after tomorrow then? It's two shows.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

''Shit, okay. Let me work out some details and I'll text you later?''

''That's fine, Ed. Listen, I'm thrilled that you called but duty calls. I have used up all of my smoke break minutes for today,'' Wayne joked.

''Yeah, okay.'' Eddie chuckled. ''I'll see you in two days, then.''

''Two days,'' his uncle confirmed.

They said their goodbyes and Eddie hung up, unable to process what just happened. He mentally kicked himself for not doing this sooner, he would have felt a lot better a long time ago. With a lot more prep in his step, Eddie googled the nearest coffee shop. He needed the caffeine for today and his stomach was grumbling, he left the hotel way before breakfast was served. After following the instructions his phone told him, he arrived in front of a corner shop with. He stood in front of it, hesitating. Is this were you worked at? What would he do if you did? He could already see a girl behind the counter - was that you? He had no idea what you looked like. Would he recognize you by just your voice? Only one way to find out.

He pulled the door open and stepped inside, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm bread hitting him in a wave.

''Good morning,'' the girl behind the counter cheered. She sounded similar, sure, but he couldn't tell 100%.

''Uh, hi.'' Eddie stepped closer to the counter, pretending to look around.

''What can I get- oh, it's you.'' the girl gasped and Eddie froze. ''You're Eddie, right?'' she whispered.

Oh shit, was this it? Was it you? He didn't feel like it was you. He had a special feeling whenever he talked to you, which you two had been doing almost every day now. He had started feeling shitty about not coming clean about who he was, you had opened up so much already, when he had only given you crumbs. You didn't seem to mind though, or if you did you didn't show it.

''Yeah..'' Eddie blinked, playing with his glasses, his hands shaking a little bit.

''Wow, you're really cool. I saw you and your band live a few weeks ago. You're great!'' she said coolly, a polite smile on her face.

Eddie smile back politely, hiding his disappointment. It wasn't you, obviously. He was stupid to think he'd find you at the very first coffee shop he set his foot in. ''Oh, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.''

''Yeah, I have to admit I wasn't a fan before, but my girlfriend dragged me along. Anyway, I actually really liked it, so...''

''Hey, that's cool. Anyway,'' he cleared his throat, ''you got any good coffee?''

''Oh, for sure. Here or to go? What kind of coffee would you like?''

Eddie gave his order and she typed away on her screen. Black coffee, medium size, two sugars, to go. His empty stomach also didn't go unnoticed. ''Got any pastry recommendations?''

''Sweet or savoury?'' the girl asked, sliding his cup towards him on the counter, topping it with a lid.

''I'm not sure. Sweet maybe?'' Eddie cocked his head, looking at the display of shiny golden bread in front of him.

''I'd recommend the chocolate croissant or the almond buttercream eclair. The croissant is our most popular one, but the eclair is my friends favorite.''

''I'll go with the eclair then,'' he decided, pulling out his wallet and digging for some cash.

The girl packed his pastry in a box and placed it on the counter next to his coffee. Eddie threw her a twenty, even though his bill was 11 dollars. ''Keep the change. You've been most helpful...''

''Robin,'' she finished.

''Robin, thank you. Hope to see you at another show!''

Eddie walked the long way back to the hotel, sipping his coffee and munching on his eclair. Both of which were incredible, by the way. He figured he'd go back if he had the time. When he got back to his room, he had finished the food and took the last sip of coffee, throwing it in the empty basket under the desk.

.•♫•♬•

You were out of the city, in Brooklyn, near Brighton Beach where your parents lived. You had taken four days off work to come dog sit your parents dog while they went on a 3-night spa getaway. You were walking Dolly, your parents' 4 year old French bulldog, through the all familiar streets of where you grew up. There was a farmers' market in town, so you headed there, Dolly leading the way. You picked up vegetables for a soup you were making later, some herbs and a whole bag of kiwis.

Making your way back to your parents' house, your mind drifted to where it always was these days, Eddie. You'd been speaking for a while now, and there was an itch at the back of your mind. You were holding back the urge to google him. It was natural, you though, you could then easily put a face to the voice you had been speaking with. Any normal person would hop straight on the internet when they find out they're talking to a celebrity, right?

You didn't want to be that girl, but you did wonder what kind of relationship you had with him. It's been what, like a month, you went from complete strangers to friends, to him coaxing you to an orgasm over the phone, to... what? You couldn't call him just a friend anymore, it felt more than that. Friends don't have phone sex, either. You had feelings for him, romantic ones. They were simmering, like hot soup under a lid. You didn't want to bring it up first too, asking the age old question - what are we? That would scare him off for sure.

You got back to the house just before it started drizzling rain. You removed your coat, hat and gloves then cleaned Dolly up and let her roam the house. You grabbed your purchases and made your way to the kitchen, where your phone was charging on the island. You saw that you had a message from Robin, multiple messages actually. You grabbed the device and unlocked it, swiping through her messages.

11.52am - Robin ''OMG you have no idea who I met this morning!''

11.52am - Robin ''I would call you but we're so busy today, I'm literally peeing right now so I could text you.''

11.52am - Robin ''EDDIE MUNSON was here, I can't believe it. I texted Cherry too, she's been here since 8am. Said she's gonna be here all day in the off chance he comes back. She wants a pic.''

11.52am - Robin ''Anyway, he's from that band we saw about a month ago. Really sexy up close!!''

You blinked, staring at the screen. You were only focused on two words, a name really. Eddie Munson... From a band. A musician, then. Your heart thumped in your chest. Was it him? You didn't really believe in silly coincidences. Finally breaking, you quickly pulled up the search bar and googled the name. A ton of pictures, videos, news articles popped up. You only intended on looking at pictures, you didn't mean to look at the news articles. But once you started, you fell down the rabbit hole, unable to get out.

Corroded Coffin star Eddie Munson seen leaving restaurant with Victoria's Secret model.

'Eddie Munson snorted coke off my ass' ex-girlfriend Madeline claims!

Corroded Coffin frontman leaving band? Manager denies claim!

You read through multiple articles, all accompanied with pictures of him. A woman next to him in every photo, tall, skinny, perfect skin. You didn't concentrate too much on the women, otherwise you'd only hurt your own feelings. You looked at him, marveling at different angles taken of him on stage, his long wild hair flipping in the air.

''Oh shit,'' you gasped as you remembered a few weeks ago, when he first called you. You had walked by a poster of him without even knowing who it was. But looking at the pictures on your phone, you knew it was your Eddie. You felt it in your bones.

You went to Youtube and searched his name there too. You noticed a late night interview he had done, uploaded just last week. You clicked on it and watched the whole thing. You felt strange watching him like this. He wasn't just some faceless fantasy you had developed feelings for, he was real. He talked animatedly with the host, talking about their tour.

''Yeah, we're super excited. Very grateful to be playing Madison Square Garden next week, two shows. It's wild.''

Madison Square Garden? New York? Next week - this week, then? This was the first time you were hearing about any of this. It was already the middle of the week. You went to Instagram, searched up Corroded Coffins account (surprisingly, you didn't find Eddie's personal account) and clicked on it. There was a new picture uploaded, just an hour ago. Eddie was standing in front of the arena's entrance, his back facing the camera. And there he was, in your city, without telling you.

You took a deep breath. It's fine, it's only the afternoon. He's probably busy. You followed the account and looked through their stories. There was a reposted story of someone else's, it was a picture of a girl holding two tickets. What caught you off guard, however, was the caption of the photo.

''Thanks for the VIP tickets Eddie! Can't wait to see you tonight!!''

Then you noticed the girl's username and it seemed familiar. It clicked to you that it was the same Madeline you read about earlier, his ex then.

Your stomach dropped. He hasn't mentioned anything to you about being in New York, but invites his ex to go see him, probably backstage too. God knows if they were even broken up, you certainly wouldn't know. You felt betrayed, stupid for not being cautious enough. You believed every word he had said, never having a reason to doubt he might be lying about anything. Were you just some distraction for him? Was he just pulling you along because he was bored? Maybe this is why he was hesitant to reveal who he was, maybe he was scared you would find out who he was and catch on to him.

Just as you felt tears of frustration pool in your eyes, he texted you, almost like he could sense something was wrong.

13.01pm - Eddie ''Hey Kiwi girl, how are you? Miss you!''

Frustrated that he could still make your stomach turn upside down, you called Robin instead.

''Hey babe, called at just the right time, I just went on lunch. It's a madhouse today. Did you see what I texted you by the way?'' Robin rambled on the other side.

''Yeah.. I know him.''

''What? No, you don't. You don't listen to that kind of music.''

''Rob, I know him. He's the guy I've been texting,'' you admitted.

''What?!'' she shrieked. ''When? How?''

You sighed, dropping onto the living room couch, bringing your legs underneath you. ''I just found out myself. He told me his name was Eddie and that he was a musician but that's all I knew. I just put the pieces together when you texted.''

''That's insane!'' Robin replied, her words muffled as she was crunching on something. ''Are you going to meet him, then? Are they playing a show?''

''Yeah, tomorrow. He didn't even tell me he was coming, though...''

''Really? That's strange. I thought you said you liked him.''

''Yeah, I do! I don't think he feels the same,'' you swallowed the lump in your throat. ''I found out he sent his ex some tickets though.''

''No fucking way,'' your best friend noted.

''Way.''

''Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding,'' she offered tenderly.

''Pff, or maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe I was an idiot, like always.''

''Hey! You are not an idiot. If everything you said is true then he is a scumbag and I'm on your side, always. I can let Cherry know, too. She'll probably pepper spray him the next time she sees him.''

''I don't condone that, but thanks,'' you chuckled, picking at the woolly fabric of the armrest.

''What if you just asked him about it?''

''I don't know,'' you dragged out the words, letting Dolly hop on the couch and snuggle up to you. ''What makes you think he'd tell the truth?''

''Would he have a reason to lie?'' she asked.

''No? I'm not sure.''

''See - that's why you have to find out! You don't even know what's going on but you're already jumping to conclusions. That's not fair to him either.''

''Why do you always have to make so much sense?'' you sighed, feeling guilty that you had assumed things too quickly. Maybe she was right, Eddie had mentioned things being written about him in the tabloids. Most of the times, the media grasps onto any straw they can, whether it be true or false. You couldn't allow yourself to fall into that trap. ''So I just tell him I figured out who he is?''

''Might as well. How long can you guys keep this anonymity up, anyway.''

''That's true,'' you quipped, deep in thought. ''What did he order today, by the way?''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie was nervous. He sent you that text five hours ago and you had yet to reply. You hadn't even opened it. It's unusual for you to not reply for this long, Eddie was starting to get worried. Had something happened to you? He's been trying to buy plane tickets for Wayne for about an hour now, without luck as he keeps getting distracted. He decided to take a break when he typed in his email address incorrectly, three times. He had a list of things he was supposed to get done today, but so far he had managed to do nothing. He needed to pick out an outfit for tomorrow's show, he had to ask someone to get him a new pair of contacts because he lost his, get tickets for Wayne obviously.

Just as he was about to send you another text, you called him. He picked up instantly.

''Y/N, hey. I was getting worried.''

''Sorry, I was... I was actually ignoring you.''

Confused, Eddie sat up straighter. ''Why? Did I do something wrong, did I say something to upset you?''

''No, it's actually what you didn't do,'' you sing-songed in response. ''Enjoy that eclair today, Eddie?''

Time stilled, the Earth ceased rotating, Eddie stopped breathing. ''H-how do you know about that?''

''My best friend Robin told me,'' you said matter-of-factly. Eddie almost dropped his phone. This wasn't happening. Robin? Rob!? He couldn't believe he didn't put two and two together this morning, even as it was staring at him right in the face. He was there, where you worked. He talked to your best friend. Eddie felt like he was in that movie The Lakehouse, where the two characters were at the same place, but at a different time.

''You didn't tell me you were playing at the Garden tomorrow,'' you teased him but he could also hear the note of sadness.

''I'm sorry,'' he blurted out, ''I meant to tell you, I swear! It's just... You're so good and I didn't think you would be interested in me, apart from this,'' he gestured to the phone as if somehow you could see it, but you still seemed to catch on.

''Oh, Eddie. That's not true. Look, I can't lie to you. I did google you after Robin called me and said that the famous Eddie Munson came by.''

Not gonna lie, his full name sounded heavenly coming from you. He was relieved, mostly, that now you knew everything. He didn't have to hold back anymore.

''And I saw some things, for sure. Did you really snort cocaine off of someone's ass?''

''Oh my fucking God,'' he groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. ''That is the worst rumor I've ever heard about myself. I definitely didn't, you can trust me on that.''

''Okay,'' you giggled and Eddie felt lighter already. ''But, um, would you like to meet, then? It's okay if you don't, there's-''

''Yes.''

''Oh, okay, good,'' now you were the one who sounded nervous, breathing uneven into the microphone.

''Can you come to the show tomorrow? I'd see you right fucking now if I could, but today won't work out for me. I can put your name on a list, you just say it at the door and they'll let you in.''

''Yeah, I can do that.''

He smiled, biting his bottom lip. ''Can't wait, sweetheart.''

''If you think you're off the hook that easy, Eddie Munson, think again.''

Wiped that smile right off his face.

''What are you doing right now?'' you asked.

''Uh, nothing, just at my hotel room.''

''Good, can you lay down on the bed for me, pretty boy?''

Shit.

Eddie followed your command and laid down, resting his head against the soft pillows, his legs splayed wide on the bed.

''Now I want you to take out your cock and stroke it 'til it's hard,'' you instructed, voice smooth as honey. ''I saw pictures of you, you're real pretty, Eds.''

Eddie whimpered at the compliment, his cheeks flushing. He switched his phone so he could push his sweatpants down, just enough so he could free his already half hard member. Spitting in his hand, he wrapped his fist around himself, pulling on it slowly, smearing his spit all over the head.

''Such a good boy, I can already hear it. Does that feel good?''

''Y-yeah,'' Eddie's hips bucked as he ran his fist up and down, gripping tightly at the base and then running back up again, brushing his thumb over the slit, pre-cum dripping.

''Keep going, tell me how good it feels.''

''So good,'' his chest heaving, bolts of pleasure shooting up his veins, he continued to pump himself. ''Wish it was your hand instead, o-or your mouth or pussy, fuck.''

''What about my ass, Eddie? Would you fuck my asshole too if I asked?''

''Jesusss...''

''Tell me when you're close,'' you moaned out, just to stir him on.

''I'm about two seconds away from busting.''

''Stop!'' you barked.

''What? What happened?''

''Oh, you don't get to cum. Take that as your punishment,'' your evil laugh ranged through the phone.

''Fuck, you're mean,'' he groaned, fisting the sheets below him to stop himself from going back to his cock. ''I hope this isn't too forward, but I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tomorrow.''

.•♫•♬•

The day is here, finally you would meet Eddie. This whole thing has been fast, you admit, it's only been a month or so. Somehow that didn't scare you, like you thought it might. You were buzzing with excitement, even a little nauseous. You were a little anxious as well, it always made your tummy sensitive, so you had a small breakfast that morning.

Robin had agreed to come watch Dolly while you were away, probably dragging Cherry along, too. The day seemed to drag on and on. Robin promised to be there an hour before you had to leave to hype you up - that's what she said.

You didn't sleep last night, thinking how tonight will go. You weren't so much nervous to meet him, you already know what he looks like, who he is. What tugged at the back of your mind was, what would he think of you. You didn't look anything like the girls he had been pictured with. You didn't think you were ugly either, you were just... you. Would you be enough?

When you decide it was time to get ready, you showered and shaved every inch of your body, Eddie's promise last night very fresh in your mind, still. Since you didn't expect to go to a rock concert tonight, your outfit would have to do with whatever you packed. You were torn between a skirt or pants. Figuring the atmosphere would most likely be.. heavy, you went with the safe option of your black jeans. You matched them with a graphic tee, paired with shiny black Dr. Martens boots. Make up simple, as again, you didn't prepare for this and didn't have time to make a stop at home - mascara, some powder, a nude gloss.

Robin knocked on the front door just as you were screwed the cap back on your lipgloss. You let her in, Cherry following behind just as you thought. ''You look bomb, but just so you know, I would much rather be at the show than babysit some smushed face baby seal.''

As if Cherry had blown a dog whistle, Dolly appeared from the living room and trotted right up to her. ''Oh, hiii.''

You rolled your eyes in amusement. ''Your girlfriend is weird.''

Robin pulled you into a hug. ''She's just upset she can't go to the show. But I told her we're helping with the love story of the century and she caved. Cherry loves love.''

''Don't be dramatic,'' you huffed.

You walked Robin through the basics about Donna, what and how much to feed her, when she wants to go outside. Cherry was meanwhile busy rubbing baby seal's belly.

You slipped on your jacket and said your goodbyes, Robin wishing you good luck and hopped in your car. The drive back only took about 20 minutes, but it was enough time to fill your body with nerves. It took a few minutes to find a parking space, but you were lucky as you found one pretty close to the building. People were already lined up, but it looked like the line was moving at a normal pace, the doors were already open. You followed in line with others, seeing the entrance up ahead, Corroded Coffin's name on the billboard above it in big bold letters. You got to the front considerably quickly, the security guard asking for your ticket.

''Um, I'm supposed to be on the list, I think.'' You told him your name and the guy scanned his tablet, then nodded and let you through after taking a quick glance at your crossbody purse.

The floor was open plan, seating only on the upper floors. You made your way somewhere to the left hand side, as the first floor was already full of people. It was a bit far, but you could still see the stage. The microphones were already lined up, drum set at the back of the stage. It was 5 minutes until the opening act, when you got a text.

21.55pm - Eddie ''Are you here?''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Yes.''

21.56pm - Eddie ''What are you wearing? ;)''

21.56pm - Y/N ''Idiot.''

After a couple minutes, the lights went out and the opening act took to the stage, to a lukewarm reception. The band was alright, you guessed, you had never heard of them obviously. You bobbed your head to some of the songs, even took a few pictures. The set went by quick and now you only had to wait 30 more minutes for the main act, to the one you were here for.

By the time it was time for the main event, more people had filled the arena and now you were pretty squished, girls and guys on every side of you. You squeezed past some people, looking for more room at the back. You found a big enough space and settled there. The lights went out again and this time, the crowd roared. Music started playing and the drummer came out first, followed by three other guys a minute later. There he was, in all of his glory, guitar strapped over his shoulder. He smirked at the crowd and hit the first note on his guitar, followed by the high pitch eruption of women in the audience.

The show started, and though this music was not your prefered genre, you were absolutely mesmerized. Eddie's stage presence was magnetic, he owned the the entire arena. All eyes were on him as he strummed different notes and flipped his hair around, screaming, singing and even moaning into the microphone. People yelled, jumped, pushed around. Not to mention the mosh pit in the middle of the floor.

As Eddie sang the songs, his eyes kept looking around. Was he looking for you? You wanted to scoot closer, but it was impossible. The crowd was wild even at the back, you couldn't even imagine what was happening at the barricade.

They played for more than an hour. As the show came to a close, you clapped and cheered just like everybody else. He was amazing, the band was amazing. They all bowed, the bassist threw his picks at the girls in front of him. Eddie thanked the audience, his voice tired and raspy and so sexy. ''Hey Kiwi girl, come find me.''

You blushed, though nobody knew he was talking about you. You waited a while, watching the crowd slowly pushing out, before you had any room to made to the front. You made it to the barricade and and called another security guard over.

''Hi, I think I'm supposed to go backstage.'' You told him your name and that you had an invite from Eddie himself. He took a sceptic look at you and spoke something into his walkie talkie before ushering you closer and helping you over the railing.

He asked you to follow him and lead the way from the stage through a door, into a long corridor. Your ears were ringing from the loud music and your heart was doing flips. ''It's the last door to the left.''

You thanked the guard and he left. You took a deep breath and walked to the door, raising your hand to know, but the door flew open before you had the chance.

''Oh, sorry. Are you looking for someone?'' a guy, who you recognized as the drummer, asked. His face was all sweaty and he was holding a towel in his hand. There was commotion coming from the room and you looked over his shoulder, your breath hitching as you saw Eddie sitting on a sofa.

But he wasn't alone, far from it. Sitting next to him was the same girl, Madeline, her arms on his shoulders. Kissing him.

.•♫•♬•

tags: @hellfirewhore @ceriseheaven @feralgoblinbabe @ethereal27cereal @mystars123 @munsonsuccubus @alizztor @tlclick73 @nojamsonmytoast @b-irock @harringtonshairychest @hellkaisersangel @mcueveryday @other-world-s @santheweird @nightless @hiscrimsonangel @ali-r3n @latenighttalkingwithgrapejuice @tayhar811 @sarawithasword @eddiesluvt @maddieluvseddie @hellfires-harlot @dollalicia @donnavivienne @ashlynnkennedy @dumbblonde1630 @sanzu-holic @dontslayfay @eddieswife16 @bebe0701 @ganjababie @sidthedollface2 @brittanyyydamnit @lezzy-bennet @bibliophilewednesday @qcueef @rogers-sweatbands @christalcake @episcogoth @beep-beep-sherlock @milkymil-k

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie #for a good time call #sebuckyverse

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jjkeverlast · 1 year

Text

only when you're lonely | jjk (m)

➳ pairing human!jk x succubus!f.reader

➳ genres/aus supernatural au, demon au, college au, college party au, humor, smut, sub!jk, fake dating au & angst

➳ summary jungkook has never dated anyone, because of you and you're soft touches that bring him to orbit. it's all it's ever been, just sex between you. although, it brings an unexpected turn when jungkook accidentally blurts you out as his girlfriend to his college friends which results in them expecting you to an upcoming party. what jungkook doesn't know is that you're much more than just someone he meets when he's lonely.

➳ word count 7.5k

➳ author's note alright, this is for all my dominant besties who love to make a mess out of a man. 🗿

part of to love a monster collab !!

Jeon Jungkook might’ve fucked up.

Scratch that. Jeon Jungkook fucked up.

It’s determined how badly he did, when Taehyung exposes his boxy smile paired up with Hoseok clapping cheerfully. Here they are, being his best friends supporting him while he didn’t even think twice about lying to their faces.

The lie, of course backfired and now every nerve in Jungkook’s body is panicking.

Although, he did cause this towards himself.

‘’Come on Jungkook, bring her!’’ Hoseok encourages him once again, after Jungkook announced that he was seeing someone, actually no that wasn’t exactly what he said. It was more something along the lines of; ‘’I have a girlfriend.’’ Instead of being completely honest about his absence towards his friends.

The truth is, Jungkook had met you, a random night while he struggled to study and his roommate was out to yet another party. He loved being by himself, but for some reason, the empty dorm only pushed him to feel lonely and that’s when he decided, a walk could be a great escape to this sneaky feeling that was about to rest itself within him.

When he had walked out, you were standing in the middle of the hallway, looking like a lost puppy but glowing regardless. Jungkook had been infatuated with you ever since he saw you. There was just something about you that made his breath hitch, his heart increase its beats and palms starting to sweat. He has never felt like this before.

Which explains him catching himself talking to you, despite being an introvert and casually avoiding strangers and transgressive conversations. But with you, somehow it was easy.

You both walked around all over campus, until the cool air was unbearable for a nice stroll. Jungkook had taken the initiative to bring you back to his dorm, mostly because his roommate wasn’t there but also because he just couldn’t seem to let you go so soon.

One thing he never expected from you was how bold you were. Jungkook was explaining to you about his friends, until the conversation turned silent and you kissed him. Everything in Jungkook’s body jumped by the touch of your lips, emotions swirling around and mind clouded fully.

The moment lasted longer when you began to straddle his lap, running your delicate fingers through his hair making him moan against your mouth while holding tightly onto your waist. Jungkook was uncertain if you wanted to proceed, but before he even had the chance to ask you, you were grinding down on him and that was more than enough for Jungkook to follow your lead.

Your bodies were hot and flushed against one another, your hips slamming down to meet his own at a rapid pace and Jungkook lost his breath, voice clogged when his orgasm was about to reach him. You would whisper praise to him, take care of him in the moment, letting him feel the immense pleasure you would give to him.

The moment was short, but Jungkook felt special. The lonely feeling from earlier vanished ever since he had seen your curious eyes, studying the hallway as if it were an odd painting at a museum.

What Jungkook hadn’t expected was the aftermath. Here he was, being vulnerable in front of you and you were in a rush to leave. Jungkook started to doubt himself, the kiss, the sex… everything that had happened within those few hours with you.

Yet again, you proved him wrong, kissing him before leaving which made him stay hopeful to catch you around campus soon.

And he did, whenever that unsettling feeling of loneliness would grab him by the throat, he’d see you.

‘’Jungkook. We know you don’t like parties, but just this once.’’ Taehyung gave him his puppy dog eyes that worked like magic. Jungkook could never say no to either Taehyung or Hoseok so he nodded.

Class was starting, making them part ways and that’s when the panic seeped through for Jungkook.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He couldn’t possibly bring you to this party. Not when neither of you have discussed what this is. Jungkook really likes spending time with you, and letting you fuck him as you please but dating you was out of the question.

There weren't any moments that could lead to something more. You’d always leave in a hurry after sex and Jungkook would let you.

Now Jungkook had been too scared to admit to his two best friends that the reason he hasn’t had any time for them, is because he’s too busy fucking.

Which explains the terrible lie Jungkook had laid out without even thinking twice. He should have, if he had thought about it for a bit longer, he wouldn’t be fidgeting in class, bouncing his leg up and down in worry.

He is indeed, fucked.

Hoseok’s party had started two hours ago, and Jungkook hadn't moved an inch. He’s currently admiring the tiny holes in the ceiling, counting them down when he starts to feel bad. He had thrown a promise to his friends, who are highly waiting for him to walk in, yet he’s currently ditching them.

Jungkook fidgets with his rings, almost sulking in bed over the current situation and how he hasn’t managed to find you anywhere today. Before he can think any further, there’s a knock at his door and he immediately starts to panic, thinking that Taehyung probably came all this way to scold him personally and afterwards dragging him to the party before he protests.

However, it isn’t Taehyung with a frown that he’s met with, but you.

‘’Hi.’’ You greet, throwing yourself on Jungkook with an intimate kiss that could lead to much more than a simple welcoming kiss.

Jungkook would love for this to go further, still, he can’t ignore his friend's request and his promise. It makes him pull away from your warm grasp, and that makes your brows turn to a frown.

‘’Is something wrong?’’

Jungkook gulps down, stressing internally on how to bring the issue to the table.

‘’Yes, I mean no. Wait, okay, maybe.’’ He winces when you remove yourself, standing awkwardly in front of him and a tinge of guilt begins to form.

‘’I want to continue. It’s just, I promised my friends to come to this party.’’

‘’Party?’’ You repeat, sounding uncertain yet curious. Jungkook nods softly, nerves tempting him to continue.

‘’I may, okay fuck, I lied to them.’’ Jungkook gulps again, fidgeting with his rings while staring down at the rug covering the dorm.

‘’That’s great!’’ You smile at him, but when Jungkook frowns, you begin to doubt. ‘’Right?’’

‘’Well, no.’’ Jungkook comments on the obvious response, and you nod awkwardly.

‘’I told them you’re my girlfriend.’’

The words hang heavy in the room, and he doesn’t know what to expect from you. Maybe anger, irritation or leaving him with no words in return.

‘’Girlfriend? What’s that?’’ Your eyes open wide, awaiting for Jungkook to respond and he’s rather uncertain if you’re being honest or messing with him to bring him to a better mood.

‘’You know… dating.’’

Your eyes squint, biting down on your tongue. ‘’Dating.’’

You’re not following and Jungkook’s patience is running on a thin thread, due to him being extremely late to the event.

‘’Fuck it, just follow my lead.’’ Jungkook grabs your hand in his, your skin burning his palm within seconds.

‘’Um, Jungkook, what are we doing?’’

He doesn’t slow down his steps, nearing the party which is easy to tell because of the blasting music being heard from miles away.

‘’We’re gonna have some fun. Don’t overthink it.’’ Jungkook manages to smile at you, despite internally screaming at himself to run back and curl into a ball.

The party is bigger than he expected, but then again Hoseok has never thrown small parties. The social butterfly knew so many from campus that Jungkook had lost count, and Taehyung was just like Hoseok. Which explains why many were surprised to learn how the three were close.

Jungkook was the opposite, leaning behind them and keeping himself in his room most of the time. Even though he preferred to be within the company of himself, Hoseok and Taehyung managed to push a side of him he wasn’t even aware of.

The living room is cramped when Jungkook drags you inside, and the first thing that catches your sight is people dancing, grinding down on one another as if people can’t see them clearly.

Jungkook isn’t pleased by the sight, trying to ignore the shameless adults in the corner whereas you’re smiling at the sight.

‘’Jungkook! You came!’’ Taehyung’s voice booms through the speakers, catching Jungkook and you off guard. Your palm is still resting heavy against his, warm just as earlier.

The minute Taehyung catches you behind Jungkook, his eyes light up.

‘’Hi, I’m Taehyung. Nice to meet you.’’ You step forward to greet him properly.

‘’I’m Y/N!’’

Taehyung notices the intertwined hands, and Jungkook’s shy smile peaking through. It’s odd seeing his best friend having a partner, especially because he knows how Jungkook gets around people, except for him and Hoseok.

So, to meet you has him thrilled and he definitely understands why Jungkook fell for you. Your curious gaze and excited state glows in the room for everyone to see.

Hoseok comes running from behind, carrying to welcome shots.

‘’Finally you show up! Thought for a minute you were gonna ditch us.’’ Hoseok’s eyebrows raise, and Jungkook tries his best to be subtle that it was his ulterior motive to ditch his friends in the end. But now he’s here, and the lies only continue to pile up. He really has to stop doing that.

‘’Never, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.’’ He squeezes your hand, and you greet Hoseok respectfully before catching the small glasses he’s holding up, filled with a form of substance.

‘’Well, it’s very nice to meet you.’’ Hoseok quickly glances at Jungkook, approving with his eyes while you’re too blunt to notice.

‘’Now, bottoms up!’’ Hoseok hands you both the glass, and you study it for a bit too long, whereas Jungkook had already chugged the alcohol, hissing by the burning sensation settling in his throat.

‘’Is something wrong?’’ Taehyung asks you gently, and you look up, realizing all three have their eyes on you.

‘’Um, what is this?’’

Hoseok stifles a laugh at your question. ‘’Just drink it.’’

You shrug, taking it in one go. Jungkook notices how your features barely react to the alcohol.

‘’Damn, someone knows how to take a shot!’’ Taehyung jokes, hitting you with his shoulders in a playful manner.

After that one shot, Hoseok and Taehyung challenged you against them in a chugging competition. For Jungkook, he’s standing by the sideline, watching the chaos slowly unfold in the cramped kitchen.

It somehow warms Jungkook’s heart to see how much fun his friends are having with you. Even though you’ve acted a bit odd regarding the situation, you surely know how to handle alcohol because not once have you lost your composure.

The way you handle alcohol, catches the attention of multiple students who were walking by. When they begin to cheer, you continue to chug, beating Hoseok and Taehyung who’ve already given up halfway through, the alcohol going against them. For you, you’re still standing, a smile to your lips while the liquor slowly vanishes with time.

‘’Jungkook! Your girlfriend is fucking wild.’’ Taehyung slurs, clutching himself lazily on Jungkook, who’s still keeping his sight on you in the middle of a cramped circle.

‘’Yeah.’’

Your eyes meet him in the crowded kitchen, the view half blurry for Jungkook, but regardless you shine through and his body almost melts at the sight. Hoseok throws an arm around you, pushing through the unnecessary crowd.

Jungkook doesn’t know if Hoseok pushing you towards him is on purpose or not. But he grabs you carefully, making sure you don’t stumble and you delicately look at him. It’s then that Jungkook notices how much life there is in your eyes. Your eyes are lighting up, and it reminds Jungkook of the first time he rode a rollercoaster and his mother took a picture while he was waiting in the queue.

‘’Hi.’’ Jungkook whispers, for only you to hear.

‘’Hi.’’

‘’Okay lovebirds. Let’s play a game of beer pong.’’ Taehyung breaks up the cute moment, and you laugh but follow their lead.

Hoseok is kind enough to explain the rules, noticing how confused you are by the cups in a triangle shape.

The first serve is done by Taehyung, landing perfectly in the middle and he cheers in victory while Hoseok dances next to him happily. Jungkook looks beside himself, and your gaze has softened along with your features. You seem to really be enjoying yourself, but something else seems off.

You look sad.

‘’All right, come on Jungkook! Give us what you got.’’ Taehyung encourages, his ego flying higher by the minute whenever he lands yet another cup.

‘’Blow on it.’’ Jungkook holds the beer covered ping pong ball, guiding it towards your lips.

‘’Why?’’

‘’For good luck.’’ You then proceed to obey, blowing carefully on the ball and Jungkook begins to aim for the outer cups. Luckily, the ball lands on the cup he purposefully aimed for and Jungkook grabs you from feeling excited.

You’re taken back by the sudden hug, but Jungkook is too drunk to notice.

The game continues for a little longer, you nailing almost every cup in sight and Jungkook is surprised that this is your first time. Taehyung and Hoseok continue to look at them in admiration and before Jungkook can manage to enjoy this moment, he remembers that it’s all fake.

‘’Victory is yours if you get the last cup.’’ Taehyung explains as you hold tightly onto the tiny white ball.

‘’Blow on it.’’ You repeat Jungkook’s words from earlier, and he chuckles before doing so.

With a deep breath, you swing your arm, letting go of the ball. There’s a silence in the air for a short moment, until it lands perfectly and you spring up.

‘’Jungkook! I did it! We won!’’ Your arms wrap around his neck, while his arms wrap tightly around your waist. His face buries itself it in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent that he’s grown to like throughout the time of spending time with you, or more so having you fuck him as you please.

Jungkook quickly scolds himself for thinking about that when you’re currently sharing a very soft moment. One that isn’t exactly real.

The moment is cut short, when you pull away creating distance. You look uncertain, not daring to meet Jungkook’s eyes, and it changes the sudden atmosphere. Jungkook tries his best not to let it get to him, after all it has never been more than sex between you. Bringing you into a situation that can unravel awkwardness between your so-called relationship is a risk. But somehow, you seem to indulge easily, not only with Jungkook but his friends as well.

Taehyung is a savior, slinging his arms around you both, too drunk to stand up by himself. One thing is certain about Taehyung, alcohol is not his best friend. But he always lets that go whenever Hoseok throws parties, the ambiance somewhat always fitting for drinks with a bunch of other students that are familiar with Hoseok mostly.

‘’Taehyung, didn’t I warn you about drinking soju too quickly?’’ Jungkook jokes, earning an eye roll from his best friend.

‘’Haven’t I warned you to shut up?’’ The small banter makes you chuckle, nevertheless the sadness glimpses through your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart tense at the sight.

The music turns up a notch, a more lively dance floor forming in the pits of the living room. Hoseok had bought too many lights to count, and you’d quickly think you’d stepped into a club rather than a cozy apartment. Do not ever underestimate the powers of Hoseok when it comes to throwing an actual party.

One thing Jungkook has always adored is how Hoseok manages to make everyone feel comfortable. Most people are letting loose, some more than others, and Jungkook didn’t miss out on how you didn’t mind the erotic scene some students weren’t afraid to showcase, despite almost showing absolutely no mercy.

‘’What are you guys still doing in the kitchen? Come dance!’’ Hoseok shouts across the kitchen, making all of your heads turn and no one can ever say no to the Jung Hoseok, so they trail behind catching up before they’re met with a scolding from him.

It’s comical for Jungkook seeing you stand straight while others dance with no shame, bumping into you once or twice. The curious gaze you carry never gets tiring for Jungkook, he really admires how you’re taking notice of how people move.

‘’Do you not know how to dance?’’ Jungkook shouts through the music.

You shake your head, holding onto your form nervously while the fluorescent lights shine down on you, making your skin glow in different colors.

Jungkook pushes a hand through his blond hair that has turned damp and he catches how your mouth slightly drops at the sight. The tension is unwanted, but it’s visible, as a thin thread clutches you both.

‘’I’ll show you.’’ You seem to hesitate, before grabbing onto Jungkook, following the rhythm of his body. Taehyung and Hoseok are too busy in their own world with silly dance moves, to notice how the room grows hotter because of Jungkook and you.

Once you’ve gotten used to moving along with the beating rhythm filling the room, Jungkook almost forgets how to breathe. Your warm skin trails on his exposed arms, while your hot breath lands on the side of his neck. Jungkook is uncertain about the situation and how an innocent dance lesson makes his head spin. He knows deep down it’s because it’s you. It’s you leaning into him, you affecting every body part of his by the slightest touch and no one else.

Jeon Jungkook is fucking whipped.

The intimate moment is cut short when you lose your sudden composure. Jungkook thinks for a second that the earlier chugging game had finally caused an effect, but from the looks of it, it’s much more than that.

The lights aren’t exactly helping. It’s hard for Jungkook to really see you, but you can barely hold yourself up. Jungkook offers some help, holding onto you and that’s when he notices how cold your skin feels.

‘’Hey, hey, you okay?’’ He whispers carefully, studying your eyes that are begging to shut, eyelids drooping down despite you trying to keep them open.

‘’I don’t— I don’t feel so well.’’

The sentence sends an alarm in Jungkook’s body, making him drag you out of the dance floor and into Hoseok’s room who’s off limits to everyone — Jungkook and Taehyung have always been an exception.

He leaves you for a moment, grabbing some water in a hurry and he comes back and you're sprawled onto Hoseok’s bed, lying completely still.

Jungkook grabs ahold of your head, making you lean upwards and he takes the opportunity to make you drink water. Your skin continues to grow cold, and it worries Jungkook who’s perfectly warm and even sweating through his shirt.

‘’Are you doing any better?’’ Jungkook keeps his hands on you, scared you’ll collapse onto the bed.

‘’No.’’

‘’Do you need me to call someone? Take you home?’’ Jungkook mumbles, studying your face that worsens the longer time passes.

‘’Jungkook.’’

‘’I’ll take you home, clearly you aren’t doing well and I just—’’ Jungkook’s words make a stop when you grab him by the forearm.

‘’Jungkook.’’ You breathe out, struggling to speak. ‘’And here I thought it was a fucking myth.’’ You mutter under your breath, leaning on the covers again.

‘’Myth?’’

‘’I haven’t been completely honest.’’ You wince, the pain worsening with time and frankly your body is running on a clock.

‘’Honest? About?’’ Jungkook is still worried, wanting to take you somewhere more safe, almost desperate to have you okay.

‘’I’m, fuck, I’m a succubus.’’

Maybe it's because of the alcohol, or maybe Jungkook is just downright stupid because the next thing that comes out of his mouth doesn't exactly help the current situation.

‘’Suck a what now?’’ Jungkook’s eyes grow wide, still half panicking because here you are, cold as ice and wincing in pain while he’s trying to figure out what you had just told him.

‘’Jungkook.’’ A small laugh manages to fill the room, even though you’re currently in pain. ‘’I’m a sex demon.’’

‘’Oh.’’ Oh.

Jungkook feels the air getting knocked out of him, because truly demons can’t be real and Jungkook really doesn’t have the time to indulge into supernatural elements when you’re barely there, tuning out as the longer time passes.

‘’Listen, this fucking pain is getting worse and I just—’’ You groan, having trouble breathing. Jungkook surges forward, embracing you out of worry. He can’t lose you. He won’t.

‘’Tell me what to do. There must be something I can do for this pain to stop.’’ Jungkook’s fingers delicately graze above your cold cheeks, holding onto you as much as he can.

‘’Jungkook, it’s– it’s much more complicated than that.’’ You sigh, removing your eyes on him, almost as if you’re avoiding something and it pains Jungkook.

‘’No, no please tell me.’’ Jungkook cannot believe the shit he’s saying, not after you literally admitted you aren’t an actual human being, and that maybe there aren't just demons lurking on earth, but vampires and— oh my god what if there're werewolves?

And now he’s scolding himself internally for even thinking about that, when you’re turning almost to ice.

‘’The myth… the myth is that if you don’t complete your task, you’ll be in excruciating pain until you manage to do it.’’

‘’And that explains how you’re…’’

‘’Currently in pain, yes. I- I think so. Fuck.’’ You wince, clutching yourself tight onto Jungkook’s wrist.

‘’Is… Is your task for you to fuck me?’’ Jungkook’s words are uncertain, but with the way your eyes blow wide, he knows he hit the jackpot.

‘’Jungkook.’’ You seem guilty, as if you don’t want to force Jungkook to have sex with you, only because you’re in a lot of pain and won’t be better if he’s not there to help you. Afterall, you’re here because of him.

Only him.

Jungkook doesn’t respond, instead he kisses you gently. It’s a small peck to begin with, and already from that simple touch, your fingertips begin to feel warmer against his skin.

But despite Jungkook doing that, you still pull away with very little force, still wearing the heavy guilt that glimpses behind your eyes.

‘’I don’t want to use you Jungkook.’’

He completely understands where you’re coming from. It does seem as if he’s letting himself be used by you, only because you’re in a lot of pain and probably on the brim of dying. But, Jungkook always wants you, has never stopped wanting you and truthfully he was waiting for you to pull a move at this party because fuck.

‘’You’re not.’’ Jungkook carefully kisses you again, for reassurance. It works, and you softly melt into his touch, moving your lips with his.

‘’Okay.’’ You whisper, before continuing and pulling Jungkook above you. As time runs with every kiss shared, your body begins to gain the warmth you’ve always carried and Jungkook takes it as a good sign.

You’ll be okay.

It isn’t weird for Jungkook to be hovering over you, but it’s new. Jungkook has always felt more comfortable with being taken care of, having you on top of him and doing whatever you please, which always ends with an unforgettable orgasm.

Your delicate touch turns into pulling, showing you’ve gained more force and Jungkook lets you. He can’t get enough of how desperate you are to please him, and make a mess out of him under you.

Jungkook whines when you buck your hips upwards, wanting to feel more of him. Your lips trail further, settling for his neck and sucking on the soft skin which turns red.

“Be good for me, and lay down.” You demand, and Jungkook obeys, rolling over so you can straddle him.

When you do, Jungkook loses his breath over how beautiful you look above him. Your hands roaming on his chest, and fiddling beneath the shirt, a signal you want it removed. When Jungkook moves upwards, he removes his shirt with ease, throwing it on the ground.

Your hands already feel warmer, as they settle on his chest before you grind down on him. The way you move your hips, has Jungkook breathing heavily because god, you feel fucking amazing.

He isn’t even surprised when he’s already semi-hard from a bit of grinding, and you bite your lip, indicating you can indeed feel how hard he gets by the minute.

“Look at you.” Your eyes study him. Until you pull on his belt, getting it undone so that the waistband of his boxers come into view.

Lifting your hips, Jungkook has an easier time taking off his pants and boxers. It’s not that either of you are in a rush, but your skin is still cold in some places and that makes Jungkook worry.

The worry that threads into Jungkook, is quickly gone when you get undressed, your bare core exposed. The energy in your body is growing with every step, so you’re able to stand up, removing anything that’s in the way.

You settle back down, grinding down on Jungkook’s cock, and fuck. Jungkook can feel just how wet you are.

“Ah— fuck.” Jungkook bites back a moan, yet you? You don’t exactly keep quiet, letting him know how good his cock feels bare against you.

“Such a good boy, baby.” You praise, leaning down to kiss him again. It fuels something inside of Jungkook, tasting your tongue as he can feel every inch of you.

“Please. I need—“ Jungkook is impatient, sue him. He just can’t hold it in himself any longer. He’s basically obsessed with how you feel around him, the way you squeeze him so easily, and how warm you feel.

“Hmm?”

“Please, ride me.”

Something Jungkook has learned when sleeping with you, is that you won’t do something until he asks.

So, when he asks gently, almost whining when you stop kissing him, you comply.

As you grab onto the base of his cock, Jungkook feels the warmth of you wrapping him by the second. It’s an unexplainable feeling, all Jungkook knows is that he won’t last long. He can’t possibly, not when you feel this fucking good.

You begin to move, your hips rise and fall and whenever every inch of Jungkook is inside of you, he whines out of pleasure. Your hands are pressed down onto his chest for support, breathing heavily as you continue.

Jungkook grabs onto your hips, feeling how warm you’ve turned. You never stop, keeping a good pace that sends Jungkook into a whirlwind, his brain fuzzy and unfocused.

Your fingers thread into his hair, pulling the roots as you go back to kissing him harshly. Jungkook can barely kiss back, too overwhelmed with the way you feel around him. It hasn’t even struck him that he’s literally being fucked by a demon. For him, it’s just you.

Heavy pants are being exchanged, as both your lips are parted. Jungkook’s body tenses beneath you, a signal that he’s almost at his limit.

“I want you to come all over yourself.” You say, as you lean your forehead against his. Jungkook’s eyes are looking down, admiring the view of how he slowly disappears inside of you.

“Can you do that for me, baby?” You’d love nothing more than to see him so messy beneath you, covered in his own cum.

“Y-yeah.” Jungkook moans against your lips, his breath beginning to hitch and that’s when you feel his cock twitching inside of you.

You make him pull out of you, pumping his cock until Jungkook loudly whines, coming undone all over his abs.

Jungkook is still high from the feeling, trying to catch his breath. You wait a bit, wanting him to be present when you make your next move.

“Holy fuck.” Jungkook says as he exhales loudly. You smile at him, before leaning down and letting your tongue run freely over his abs.

When Jungkook notices you licking him clean, he groans. How are you even fucking real?

“Thank you.” You express right after, sitting back down.

“What happens now?” Jungkook’s brain is still half dizzy, but now he knows much more about you than he ever thought and he wants answers.

“I have to go back to hell. But before I do, I think we need to talk.”

Jungkook nods, following your steps into dressing up. When you’re both fully clothed, you sit beside each other.

“Normally, someone summons succubus or incubus if you’d want a man.”

Jungkook’s ears turn hot at the comment. He’d never imagined that they were not only women who do this.

“But you, you summoned me in another way. Remember the first time we met?” Jungkook nods, keeping his lips sealed shut.

“That lonely feeling you carry, it somehow summons me. That’s why whenever you felt lonely, I’d show up.”

Jungkook needs time to process. He wasn’t aware that he could do that, but it all somehow makes sense.

“Because you don’t know that you’ve summoned me, I’m not supposed to tell you what I am. It’s against our contracts.” Your eyes show a glimpse of sadness and Jungkook’s stomach turns uncomfortably.

“Now you know, which means we won’t be able to see each other anymore. I’m sorry, I wish things were different. Especially after getting a glimpse of what life truly is. I’ve never had this much fun before.” Now it clicks for Jungkook. Your sad eyes whenever Taehyung and Hoseok would do silly things, and especially during beer pong when you shone with light.

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Jungkook’s tone is pleading. He really doesn’t want to say goodbye, not after he realized just how much he likes you.

“I’m sorry Jungkook.”

It’s the last words that come out of you, before you disappear and Jungkook is left all alone in the bedroom.

The first week without you, Jungkook feels empty. Hoseok and Taehyung notice quickly, but don’t comment on it. They know Jungkook would tell them if anything was bothering him. Somehow their gut feeling is telling them that it’s something to do with you.

Jungkook finally gains courage, and lies once more to his friends. Telling them that you had to go back home, because of family issues and Taehyung and Hoseok easily fall for it.

Again, Jungkook feels like absolute shit that he hasn’t only lied to his friends, but he didn’t even admit how much he likes you. A gut feeling inside of him, tells him you feel the same. But, to protect his little poor heart, he ignores it and tries to continue with his life.

Time passes quickly, and Jungkook is at another party, hosted by Hoseok. He already regrets coming, because of all the memories this place holds. The first time he ever saw you excited, but mostly happy. The most genuine happiness he has ever seen in someone. He wishes things were different. He wishes you’d live the life you wanted, instead of the one you were assigned to.

After trying to get something out of tonight, Jungkook decides to leave and go back to his own dorm. An itching feeling inside of him, tells him to research everything there is about succubus.

So, he does. He stays up until 3 a.m, despite having a morning class the following day. Jungkook learns a lot that night. He learns that demons in general can choose to become humans, but it would have to go through Satan himself. It’s possible for them to walk on this earth, no longer being immortal.

Maybe, maybe you’re thinking that you’d want nothing more than to stay here. After finally getting an actual glimpse of what life is all about, maybe you would change your mind.

Jungkook can only ever dream of that being possible.

A month.

It’s been exactly a month since Jungkook last saw you, felt you close and was able to smell you. The empty feeling Jungkook carried the first week you were gone, turned even deeper. He wasn’t feeling lonely, only missed you. Jungkook would be walking around on campus, and seeing some girls pass by him, only in hopes of seeing you.

The whole thing made Jungkook lose his touch with life. He’d stop partying, hanging out with Hoseok and Taehyung and do anything that was remotely fun.

Jungkook’s last class for the day just ended. He walks slowly to his dorm, wanting to drop dead on his bed and sleep. He’s felt a different kind of exhaustion ever since he had to see you go.

When he opens the door, he sees you, sitting on his bed fidgeting with your fingers. No, you’re not here. He’s fucking hallucinating again because of how much he misses you and—

“Jungkook.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. Holy shit.

“Y/N? Is it really you?” He moves closer with caution, and when he feels your soft hand touch him, he knows this is real. You’re here.

“I’m here. It’s real.” You smile softly, not removing your firm grasp around his wrist.

“I– why are you here? I thought–’’ Jungkook starts, confusion laced in his tone.

“Jungkook, when I left that day, I felt terrible. When I realized why, I knew I couldn’t stay in hell. I wanted to live, to be a human and…’’ Your eyes avert somewhere else, too shy to look at him. ‘’And to be with you.’’ The last part is barely a whisper, but Jungkook catches it quickly and his heart almost bursts out of his chest.

Jungkook steps closer, cradling your face with his hands. “I want to be with you too. I can’t believe this is real.” Jungkook is in disbelief. You’re here, to stay.

“I want this. What was that thing you called it?’’

“Dating.”

“Yes. I want that.” Jungkook doesn’t respond, only leans forward to press his lips against yours. The heavy dreaded feeling of sadness is no longer here. Not when you’re in front of him, with him and wanting him just as much.

“Holy fuck.” Taehyung lets out, when Jungkook had admitted everything. Hoseok is still sitting with an open mouth out of shock.

“So, all this time you were just…” Taehyung begins, and you respond with a simple nod.

“Okay, wait. So, demons are very fucking real. Are vampires too? Werewolves? Shapeshifters?”

“They’re very much real. But, don’t tell anyone. It ruins the fun.” You wink, obviously joking, because yes, you were a demon for many years but you have absolutely no clue about other supernatural creatures. It’s just fun to tease Taehyung and his gullible self.

“Fuck, I’m gonna summon a sex demon and Hoseok you’re gonna help me.” Taehyung pulls on his arm, signaling him to get up.

“Taehyung I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Hoseok speaks, his voice a bit rough from having his mouth agape for too long.

“You’re no fun.” He starts pouting, yet somehow he manages to convince Hoseok. But it’ll probably end with Hoseok convincing him it’s a bad idea.

When they’ve left the table, Jungkook turns to you. “Are there actual supernatural creatures?”

You try to bite back a laugh but fail. “Obviously not. It’s just funny to tease Taehyung.”

Jungkook’s cheeks grow hot at how easy it is for you to have fun with his friends. It’s only been a few weeks of dating, and Jungkook and you have mostly spent time revising everything that there is to know about human life.

“You’re ridiculous.” Jungkook comments, and you turn around with an offended expression.

“Wow, and here I was ready to give you a certain surprise. Might as well forget it now.” You shrug as if your words hadn’t affected Jungkook.

You’re always up to something that Jungkook can’t even guess what it is you have up your sleeve.

“Tell me baby.” Jungkook nudges his nose against the crook of your neck, and you try your best not to show a smile.

“I don’t think you deserve it.” You stand up unexpectedly, and Jungkook begins to follow. You’re not speaking to him, but you don’t seem to mind that he follows you back to his dorm room.

When the door closes, Jungkook notices a box by his bed. He wonders if what’s inside is your surprise, but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he stays quiet, following your lead.

The moment you are still, Jungkook stops as well.

“Why don’t you open that box?”

Jungkook swallows down a clump forming in his throat. He doesn’t exactly know what to expect, but his excitement keeps growing when his fingers trail on the box’s opening.

“Don’t be shy, just open it.” You grin, standing now beside him as he slowly opens it. When the box opens, Jungkook looks at you with widened eyes.

“You can’t be serious.”

The items in the box are matching. The handcuffs are pretty in metal, paired up with a black silk.

“Been thinking about my pretty baby all tied up.” You whisper, your lips touching his earlobe and Jungkook’s body shudders from the sensual touch.

“Fuck, don’t say that.” You grin when you catch Jungkook trying to hide his excitement.

“Come here.” You grab onto the nape of his neck, planting a soft kiss to his lips. Jungkook hums in content, always loving how delicate you are when you kiss him.

What was meant to be a tiny peck, turns into more when Jungkook presses himself against you. You don’t seem to mind, only pushing it further when your hands roam all over his chest.

“You want this?” You ask, although your question has zero second guessing because you already know the answer. You just want to hear it.

“Mhm.” Jungkook’s a bit shy when it comes to admitting how much he loves to be played with. But you don’t force it out on him, instead you continue to kiss him and drag him to bed with you.

Jungkook already knows that you want him to lay down, so he does it with ease.

“Take off your clothes.”

His eyebrows lift at the request, but he does as told while you grab the handcuffs and the black silk. Jungkook keeps his boxers on, too shy to be fully exposed while you’re still fully clothed.

With the handcuffs and the black silk in hand, you move upwards to straddle Jungkook. It doesn’t even surprise you that he’s already growing hard and you’ve barely done anything.

“Excited baby?” You tease as you grab onto his wrists to cuff him.

“I—“ He looks away, too embarrassed to admit it and moments like these make your heart flutter. Here he is, being open for some fun, yet looks so cute you want to squish his cheeks. God, Jeon Jungkook and his fucking duality.

“What’s the silk for?” Jungkook questions, his arms above his head, playing the role of being completely restrained to move.

“For this.” You gently wrap it over his eyes, covering his view as you tie it behind his head.

“Oh.” Jungkook’s response is low, probably not expecting to be blindfolded as well.

You sit back on him, taking a minute to admire the boy in front of you. Jungkook feels your eyes on him but he doesn’t comment, instead he trusts you and follows your lead.

You start slowly, kissing his neck and moving lower to his chest. Jungkook has always had a nipple piercing since you first started hooking up, but you’ve never had a chance to actually feel it. Instead, you take courage into your own curiosity, kissing the brown bud covered in metal.

Jungkook gasps from the touch, not expecting for you to give attention to his sensitive nipples. The feeling is new, Jungkook having no idea how good it actually feels for him. But that’s what he likes about you, you show him new things with ease, being cautious in the beginning but once you get the signal he’s loving it, you go at your normal pace.

With a soft bite on Jungkook’s bud, you move further down, trailing your lips and tongue over his abs. The muscles tense, and you smile against his skin.

“You’re so pretty.” You comment, reaching further to his waistband where your fingers toy with it. You’ve always loved to tease, and Jungkook has grown to like it with time. Because yes, it might make him impatient and needy but it makes the feeling much stronger when he finally gets what he wants.

Jungkook is uncertain if it’s because he’s currently blindfolded and tied up, but the sensation grows much more than he ever imagined. Only being able to feel you, makes Jungkook solely focus on how you please and touch him.

You’ve always been extremely patient, but seeing Jungkook in this state makes you lose it completely. So, you give in, already taking his cock out of his briefs. He’s already fully hard, ready to be taken care of.

With the first lick, you already know you won’t go easy. Jungkook’s cock is soft against your tongue. It’s a feeling you’ll never grow tired off, continuing to taste him all over. Jungkook responds with a few low whines, not wanting to distract you.

Jungkook isn’t surprised when you easily take his cock in your mouth. The warmth from your mouth is just as similar as from your pussy. For Jungkook to be able to imagine both at the same time, due to the blindfolds, only makes it harder for him to last long.

“Fuck—“ Jungkook chokes out when the tip of his cock lands in the back of your throat. It always happens unexpectedly and feels fucking great.

“You like the blindfolds baby?” You ask with a grin, exchanging your mouth with your hand instead.

“Mhm…” Jungkook’s mouth parts, his brows are furrowed but it’s hard for you to see because of the black silk.

His hips buck forward, almost fucking into your hand, and the neediness he showcases makes you squeeze his thighs. He looks so fucked out, and you haven’t even fucked him yet.

When you decide you’ve had enough of teasing and pleasing, you remove yourself completely to strip. It’s a bit weird for you to remove your clothes and not see the way Jungkook’s eyes widen when you do so.

Jungkook’s confusion is cut off shortly, when you buck your hips forward, slicking both of you ready.

“You feel so wet.” Jungkook realizes, biting his lip when you respond with a moan over the feeling of his cock about to enter you.

You sink down with ease, letting Jungkook’s cock stretch you out. The both of you moan in sync when your hips meet his. You’ll never grow tired of this, or simply just Jungkook in your life.

“Feel s’good—“ Is the only thing you manage to say before Jungkook mindlessly bucks his hips upwards. The movement stuns you. Never once has Jungkook taken charge, yet here he is, gaining that friction he so desperately needs to cum and you’re letting him.

When you don’t stop him, Jungkook continues, thrusting upwards in desperation as your hand stills on his chest for support.

“Ah— shit.” Jungkook winces when your hips move down to meet his. The sound in the room is filled with Jungkook whining whenever your bodies touch, along with your heavy breathing.

The more you move, the higher you reach a need to finish. You can already feel it, the way your body tenses, the sweat growing on your chest and forehead. It’s reaching from beneath you, and just as Jungkook slows you pull on his hair.

“Please— I’m so close. Don’t stop, fuck.”

Jungkook’s pace goes back to before, giving his all before he himself is about to come undone. But he wants to hear and feel you come all over him, so he makes it his life mission not to stop.

Your grip on Jungkook’s roots turn harsher before you still, coming undone and letting the feeling sink into your skin.

Jungkook has never heard anything prettier than your voice when you come, and even better when you come because of him. The realization makes Jungkook grow hotter too, his thrusts turning sloppy before he himself finishes.

“Shit.” You let out, trying to catch your breath while Jungkook is in the same position.

This had no right to be that good.

You help Jungkook with the blindfolds and handcuffs, and he smiles when he sees your fucked out state in front of him.

“Maybe you need to be the one with blindfolds next.” Jungkook grins, but you slap him lightly on his shoulder.

“In your dreams baby.”

perma taglist;

@sailoryooons @yoongukie-ff @kookstempo @jinsquishes @moonbeamjin @sugarwithtea @gimmethatagustd @sxtaep @here4btsfics @saweetspoiled @chaoticabstractism @ruinsofangels @pamzn @hollyweird0 @ellesalazar @dunixxd @aliceisabelx @copycat-namjesus @vsnnstuff @parkdatjimin @codeinebelle @wolfvmin @shimisushi @hobiiihope @synnfulqt @theladyblue @burnahtsw @bellaiscool @valkyrie418 @diorjgguk @guk97butterfly @tornparts @koostarcandy @starling7 @squishyfor7 @moonchildjooniee @sugaluvmyg @butterflieshee

[ if your tag doesn't work nor show that means i either can't find your username or can't tag you, sorry :( ]

#jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #bts jungkook smut #jungkook #jeon jungkook fanfic #bts fan fiction #bts fan fic #bts jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts jeon jungkook

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from-izzy · 5 months

Text

[17:58] | tbz kim sunwoo

» PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x gn!reader (proofread a couple of times but pls tell me if i missed something!) » TROPE/AU: friends to ??, friends to strangers, friends to 'just classmates', miscommunication (?) trope, i'm sorry i have no idea how to explain this tbh..., high school au!, non-idol au! » GENRE: angsty hurt but fluffy comfort, 'friendship' breakup (with the intention of coming back together when time is right!), they both say "i love you" to each other and it's meant to be platonic but it can be interpreted romantically, if you do interpret it romantically then mutual pining that is somewhat figured out in the end???, sunwoo is also very comforting, loving, patient and understanding to reader's own worries and trusts reader in their personal journey as they figures out their own hardships in life » WORD COUNT: 3576 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: 13 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): hardships with past relationships with others, anxiety and fear regarding making bonds with other people, running away as a mechanism to escape reality

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

how blessed i am to have you beside me when real life doesn't work out. how blessed i am to be able to go on the main chat and just be myself. how blessed i am to be able to call you my friends. how blessed i am to be accepted by people over the internet, who ended up supporting me in one of the hardest times of my life.

i love you all. i'm sorry that i'm unable to include everyone but i hope you know that in friendship groups, everyone has an effect on one another. even if person a isn't close to person c, person b may be the reason why you're still in the same group together. we all influence each other and i love you all so much.

i'm so sorry for everything.

"So what? That's it?"

The solemn tone in his voice makes the hues of orange and pink in the sky behind him take away the beauty of the scene you both love. It seemed that even the birds that would usually sing beautifully at this time stopped as soon as you opened the door of your house, knowing well who used his entire fist to bang on your door.

Sunwoo's bangs stuck to his forehead well, showing the physical exertion that his body took to get to your house. His school blouse is half untucked and you realise that maybe he rushed out of gym class in the last period because of his mismatched buttons and how his tie wasn't around his collar properly. His eyes flared with a hint of sadness though the confusion and anger masked most of the emotion behind. Your eyes diverted down to his untied shoelace. Usually, you would scold him and he would give that annoying smile to you, shrugging his shoulders and being completely relaxed whilst answering you with a "You're going to do it for me anyways." Judging by his slumped-over school bag, you guessed that he probably threw it to your 'welcome' carpet as soon as he arrived—even though he knew that he probably wasn't considering that you've been avoiding his entire presence for a whole month.

But even when Sunwoo looks at you with that heartbroken gaze straight to your tired, cold eyes, you don't utter any words to him. The slight bounce of your head made him turn his head away, clenched fists beside his body. You also found your arms crossing around your waist, palms hooked around your figure and your fingers wrapped around your body to ground the tears that you knew would flow if you didn't keep telling yourself to 'keep it together'.

"Don't you think I deserve some kind of explanation?"

Just from a glance at him, you note the tiredness on his face even with his furrowed eyebrows. Not once did he raise his voice at you even though you can see how he's holding back with how tense his jaw is.

"God, Sunwoo." You exclaim to him with a sarcastic laugh after, "I get that we literally became the best of friends as soon as we met two months ago but shit happens and you can't expect an explanation for everything that happens."

"Of course not!" Sunwoo's voice rises though it doesn't seem to shock you. "Shit happens, I know! But at the same time, I never thought our friendship was so weak and insignificant that you could ignore me for more than a month. I know you read my messages! The app can't show me that but I know!"

"Ok fine, I did!" You spill the truth that you've been holding back. "What are you going to do about it? They’re my messages, not yours!"

Sunwoo didn't know how to counter that. Maybe there wasn't a way to counter the statement because it's true. But you both knew that the unresponded messages were only the tip of the iceberg of why Sunwoo finally decided to confront you for your isolation from him.

"What happened?" Fragile and weak, shoulder dropping closer to the ground, "Talk to me. I'm here for you."

And he breaks.

The tears that he only released in his bedroom were finally showing itself. He didn't think that it would be infront of you first. He thought that maybe his other friends would see it first but that one tear that escaped was the start of his waterfall.

"You wouldn't understand." You slightly scowl at the innocent boy, forcing the words between your teeth, "I mean that wholeheartedly and not from some cliche teen romance movie shit."

The venomous response he gets to his genuine question only makes Sunwoo frown further and he verbally starts to express the tears from his eyes. Seeing him cry and swallow down his whimpers struck a chord in your own confusing heart as well.

The truth is that you're scared.

You're scared as hell.

You're scared of the fact that even though you met Sunwoo two months ago, you grew so fast to him.

There were days that sometimes he would understand you more than your best friend of five years.

Do you know how scary that is?

To connect with someone so fast that sometimes all you want to do after a long day is to text them about all the minuscule things to the bigger things that would make your jaw drop.

To open that messaging app, spam him with short sentences, and feel the guilt of passing the dot beside the other messages that your other friends sent first, to just open your conversation with him first?

The confusion that you finally felt at home with someone so quickly and that you felt that when you never expected it to happen? All you ever wanted from your relationship with others was to be included.

Kim Sunwoo did just that in a span of a month compared to five years.

You would spend nights figuring out how it happened but no matter how much you thought of it, you couldn't find that one specific message and timestamp both in your phone or memories of how you would wake up and just hope for a chaotic message from him.

One mutual turned to two, which turned to three and the euphoric feeling increased exponentially. However, so did the fear escalated further when you got included in the group chat with the friends that he had before you both met.

You have always been amazed at their friendship. Despite the small age difference here and there between each person, despite using honorifics to still respect that age gap, it never stopped the radiant chaoticness that they brought everywhere they went, in everything they did. Their personalities that are so different but work together so well to the point that it makes you believe that opposites do attract.

Their differing body clocks that would mean that the group chat never dies no matter where the clock hands land. Being able to connect with them, making genuine bonds through all the bullying (that is full of love), heart-to-heart or supportive conversations, relatable life struggles relating to schoolwork and living, fangirling about their achievements in life, asking for help with things that you’re confused about, the fun flirtings that would leave the others speechless—you realise that this is all you've ever wanted and the fact that you received it when you were at your lowest guard, scared every single part of you.

The very first few moments when you came, you were jealous of their bond, wondering how they became so close even through their differences. Then, as time passed and you inserted yourself in the conversations, it felt like you were flying across a cloudless sky, feeling reassured that your wings wouldn't get wet from the rain. After, you became scared of your presence with them, scared of ultimately breaking them apart.

But, do you know the irony of it all?

You were the one who decided to ignore not only Sunwoo but every single kind-hearted person there. No one pushed that on you. But whenever they would post their photos on the group chat for distribution, reminisce their memories together, or when you would hear one of them talk about it with people outside the group chat, you find yourself jealous and hurt that you weren't part of it all.

Does anyone understand the confusion, guilt, self-hate and pain that it all brings?

"How do you know if I would understand or not if all you've done is left me on read in an app that can't even tell me that?"

Your breath hitches and your voice box only lets out a small gasp. Everything Sunwoo is saying is correct because everything is due to your insecurities and fear that everything will just fall apart. You truly believe in the fact that nothing lasts forever. That belief alone is the reason why you have trouble making friends.

Because for you, why would you put yourself in so much happiness that your cheeks would hurt from the laughter and smiles when you know that everything would end anyway?

But at the same time, your heart is trying to pull you in the opposite direction. Because in a similar logic, if you know that nothing lasts forever, why can't you just accept that fact and cherish him, the memories and the times that you could potentially spend together?

"Sunwoo," right now, you allowed the facts to speak out for you, refusing to follow what you truly wanted, "you have been blessed with the most lovely, encouraging and supportive group of friends. You and me," your index finger points to your chest after pointing at his, "we have experienced totally different friendships."

Sunwoo is beyond confused. Of course, he would be. You've never even given him a chance to understand your experiences. What you did was isolate yourself from him and the group chat that has given you hope that maybe, just maybe, this is your group of people. Your heart broke beyond what you could even comprehend when some of them personally sent a message to you, asking your whereabouts and hoping that you were doing well. On lonely nights as you monitor the cheerful group chat, all you can do is intertwine your hands together around your phone, the tips of your fingers turning white due to the pressure as you hold yourself back from including yourself in the fun conversation.

"Sorry but maybe I'm just not ready."

Sunwoo watches your blank stare, your eyes that used to be so full of glimmer and happiness are now void. He took in the fact that you were probably half-conscious at the current moment as you just stared at whatever was just above his shoulder in the distance but he didn't need to turn around to know that you were not focusing on anything in particular.

He wipes the tears that clouded his view of you before carefully asking, "For what?"

Your shoulders rise but they hold their position for a second longer before falling back down, "For whatever this friendship is."

Your eyes catch the way his eyebrows crash together as well as the audible nervous gulp and shaky lips, "Is our friendship just 'whatever' to you now?" The volume decreases with each word in the question.

The heaviness in your heart that you carried the past month started to take its toll on your head and you closed your eyes to focus on the chilling wind hitting your face. Sunwoo watches quietly, still waiting patiently for you to ground yourself back to the present. The boy watches your arms untangle from your chest, dropping back to the side of your body and he finds himself wishing that if he stepped forward and opened his arms, you would reciprocate the same loving action back.

But he knew you wouldn't. Not now when you flutter your eyes open so delicately with an emotion that he has never seen from you.

"I'll always love you, Sunwoo.”

These are the words that manage to both break and put the pieces of his heart back together. There is no way he could admit it to you now, especially with how things are going but deep down in the lonely past month that he spent, it’s the exact words that he has been waiting and wanting to say to you as he wishes that he could hear it back from you. Now that he has heard it straight from you, not through written text or a voice message, but face to face, his world starts to rebuild itself slowly.

You both only focused on each other’s faces like it would be the last time you both would ever be able to do so. You straighten your back, no longer slumping and cowering away in fear now that you’ve said the words that have always been on your mind. With your slightly newfound confidence and a somewhat lighter heart, Sunwoo sees a bit of colour start to paint your once-pale skin. Your slightly pink cheeks that are in the same beautiful shade as your lips. Your eyelashes that flutter silently in the cold weather around you—and he finds himself wanting to bring your body in a hug to bring some warmth for you both—and finally, your eyes that held all the stories, ones spoken and unspoken, the same ones that he would eventually find himself thanking the teacher for assigning your seat next to his.

In the silence that held many meanings for you both, you observe your best friend as well. Your neck tilts slightly to accommodate the height difference, watching how some of his bangs are now free from his sweat and are now in a mess due to the wind, his big round eyes that would disappear mischievously whenever he would tease you about something, only to soon have his bright, wide smile mirrored back to your face. You realise now more than ever that you may never see that cute gummy smile of his anytime soon.

But you needed to be true to yourself. You needed to figure out your feelings first before you could commit to another friendship that could tear you apart once again.

You needed to learn to love yourself again before you could go and introduce yourself to others.

Through your friendship with Sunwoo, though short and sweet but still special, you promise that after this, you will never put someone else in this kind of feeling ever again. Things would change from now on and there’s very little that you can do regarding your friendship with Sunwoo now, especially when you were the one who made the mess.

Maybe now after this revelation, he wouldn’t want to be near you anymore or maybe he will wait for you. Maybe he won’t tap on your shoulder anymore during class when you’re dazing off into the gloomy sky and just let you get in trouble with your teacher who will have called your name multiple times. Maybe as he passes by the hallway, his arms around his friends, he won’t even spare you a glance, reserving his smile for just them instead.

But again, there’s nothing you can do now. The words have been said and actions regarding the words have already been carried out.

Did you regret it?

The shortest and fastest answer: Yes.

Maybe you could’ve just come clean and told him how you feel. Sunwoo would then do that thing where you both would walk to the nearby park by the school and listen to your rants patiently, straightening and bending his legs as he sits on the swing to give him a bit of momentum, nodding thoughtfully to your worries. Then after, he would stretch his arm from behind the chains and pat your slumped back rhythmically. Just like every single time after that, you would both go for a bubble tea run before Sunwoo would panic text you about an assignment or homework that he forgot to complete and you would panic with him, helping him through the all-nighter that you both have gotten concerningly used to.

…gosh, why didn’t you just do that?

If this friendship was going to end anyway, why didn’t you take the easier, non-confusing, less painful way for the both of you? Why did you have to drag others through so much heartbreak just because of your cowardice? Why did you have to be so unthoughtful and unfair to everything and everyone that you genuinely love? You don't care if you have to get hurt as long as they're fine.

Please…just not them.

You are so unfair, unkind and selfish. He was the one pulling the weight of the friendship and you led him on blindly with that fake smile of yours, pretending that everything was fine. The audacity of you to even wish during the times when you cried alone underneath the blanket that he would forgive you.

You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t—that thought also extended to your other ten dear friends too.

A few more minutes pass and you are the one who breaks the prolonged eye contact after putting the features of his face into your memory. Sunwoo could only let out a solemn smile, his feet planted still on the ground even though his legs shook a little bit and he clasped his hands together infront of him, looking down at the grey pavement of your entrance for the first time since he arrived.

“Okay.”

The words seemed more permanent than both of you liked but it was the only response that Sunwoo could give to you at the moment. He missed the way you dropped your head to face the ground. Your body moves to lean over to one side of the doorframe, both your hands reaching over to clench the white metal to keep your posture and emotions somewhat stable.

The bag that was in your field of vision gets dragged away from your figure and you know from the shadow that Sunwoo is dusting off the dirt, ready to walk away for the day—from the friendship that you ruined. The sun behind him has almost fully hidden itself behind the taller buildings that you would have always thanked whenever you were in your room, wanting to get away from its scorching heat and intense light but now, you wished it would stay around longer…just a little bit longer.

But maybe, Sunwoo is your sun and he hears your internal pleading because he steps forward, his everyday school sneakers coming into your view.

“Whenever you’re ready, alright?”

Maybe it was your growing heartache and headache but the way he mutters it, just a volume above the singing crickets as the birds retreat their song for the day, seemed genuine. Most importantly though, it didn’t seem permanent at all. It’s almost as if Sunwoo is telling you indirectly that he will always wait for you. To tell you to figure out your internal fight first but that he’ll always give you a helping hand and that boba treat if you ever call him for help. To tell you that he will always get you in trouble during class and stick his tongue out if he’s successful. To tell you to stop ignoring him in school now that he is getting some sort of closure from you.

Thankful for the memories and comfort, your head rises from the depths of your darkness and Sunwoo shines brighter than the huge star behind him. For what you both know will be the last one in a while, Sunwoo purposely lets out a loud sigh, one that is playful and is accommodated by the upturned corner of his lips before resting his open palm on the top of your head.

“I will always wait for you.”

To his words, the stars in your eyes fell and for once, you were glad that you finally showed your tears to him. You hoped that he would know just how much you are genuinely sorry for all of this. Giving him an actually convincing nod that he seemed to accept. You watch your best friend stuff his hands inside his pocket, turning away from your front door and walking his way back down the stairs to being just classmates—just for now.

No more words were exchanged after and everything seems to pass by excruciatingly slow. Neither of you had the courage and strength left in your being to call out for the other anymore. Sunwoo would go back to his friends and you would be left alone but that’s alright because you love them all. You would gladly kick yourself out of the picture if it meant that there would be no awkwardness or unsettling feeling in the group.

As soon as Sunwoo disappears from your sight, he takes all the happiness and warmth that he would offer to you unconditionally, but you also hope that he left all his worries and frustrations here at your front door. The clicking of the door when you close it is empty and the dragging steps that you take to the other end of the hallway to your room are still heavy. You had no more words for the devil in your head that laughed at you victoriously, the insecurities bouncing from the purple walls of your room as you sat at the edge of your bed.

But when your phone turns on with a notification that you didn’t expect, you know that the angel inside your head will be working their hardest to strengthen your mindset. There, visible from your lock screen is a new message from Sunwoo. Between your sniffles, you manage to let out a momentary chuckle at the new profile picture: Sunwoo behind you wrapping his arms around your neck, holding his phone out on selfie mode for the both of you to smile at—it’s the latest picture of you both. Your eyes then divert to the new message, one that would push you to keep going until you could face him once more and be back in his arms:

“I’ll always love you too.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

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mechanical-aristocrat · 7 months

Note

What are your thoughts on Screwllums letter to Svarog? I'm open for discusstions.

[OOC:]

My immediate thought upon reading it was "this is super wholesome and cute" and yeah, I still definitely think that, but I've got a lot more to say now that it's been sitting in my brain for few days so buckle up:

First off, this man is so totally autistic /aff (as is literally any robot character in any piece of media, you can't convince me that an allistic robot is a thing that exists). Over explaining to make sure the exact point he's trying to get across does so as accurately as possible and apologizing in advance for accidentally crossing boundaries (considering that at this point in time Svarog is basically a complete stranger), as an autistic person myself it's very relatable to see.

Second, I think it's really funny that he only knows of Svarog's existence because he watched what is essentially an E-Sports tournament, which he only watched because Silver Wolf practically begged him to (because I think we can pretty safely assume that the "Stellaron Hunter friend" he was referring to was her); that just adds onto the relatability for me because I also do not give a flying fuck about E-Sports, he's so real for that. I love Screwllum and Silver Wolf's dynamic with each other, they give off uncle-niece vibes and it's very fun (what I don't understand and will never understand is people shipping them with each other, it makes me really uncomfortable for several reasons, but for the sake of my sanity I'm not going to get into it).

Third, the letter honestly just confirmed some of the headcanons I had once I sat down and read all the lore regarding the Machine Emperor Wars about a month ago (which I highly recommend btw it's super interesting stuff). I guess I sort of had the fear that Hoyo would try to make it so the IPC just completely dropped every last bit of their idea to exterminate all mechanical life the second Screwllum proved to them that robots aren't inherently harmful to humanity, and that everything was just magically okay after that and humans and machines could live in perfect harmony with absolutely no conflict whatsoever. Thank fuck they didn't do that because that would've been both super boring and super unrealistic, Screwllum acknowledges within the letter that there are many places where robots are regarded only as tools, they don't often have the same sort of foot holding in society that humans do, and he hopes that changes someday.

(one of the headcanons that I have regarding this is that there's a secretive group of people within the IPC that are specifically trying to fuck up Screwllum's reputation and the reputations other robots who are also massive public figures that advocate for robot rights, but especially in Screwllum's case they haven't found much success because that man does not have a single problematic line of code in his programming)

Lastly, I would kill to see Screwllum and Svarog properly interact in the future, I think they'd get along so well and their dynamic would be so fun. I don't necessarily ship them, but more power to you if you do, honestly I might eventually be convinced to ship them if more stuff like this shows up, this was super cute (also, before anyone reading gets confused, the "we will come to call each other "brothers"" bit at the end of the letter does not mean anything that would make shipping these two characters quote-on-quote "problematic". The word "brothers" in this context purely refers to a strong bond of friendship and mutual understanding. I honestly should not have to explain that, but considering that the internet is the internet, I figured I ought to).

#I've never gotten to answer an ask like this #this was super fun thank you #honkai star rail #screwllum #svarog #ooc | out of character #hcs | headcanons #cinamoncoffecup

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eleni-cherie · 9 months

Text

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - intro

"so eager to be in a headlock again?"

"only if it's by you."

he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.

[sequel to 'among thieves || bts • pjm' - can be read independently!!]

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

Tainan, Taiwan

Yoongi was mindlessly tapping his finger on the stirring wheel, feeling sweat beads forming on his forehead despite the car window being cranked down. The car wasn't moving, being stuck in a traffic jam. Nothing new in that city. Making open windows quite useless and the broken a/c wasn't helping. At least he wasn't on his motorbike, he tried arguing to stay positive, the car shielding him from the sun.

He dragged a sigh, resting his arm on the window frame and letting his elbow peak out into the sun light. The summer warmth was close to unbearable to him, the heat literally visibly ascending from the asphalt and creating a hazy atmosphere.

His hand reached out to the water bottle on the passenger seat and he took a few long gulps. It was disgustingly warm as well, but better than getting dehydrated.

He switched on the car radio then in hopes of getting any information of what was going on and why they weren't moving. Hoping he wouldn't have to wait more.

"- looks like the car is being picked up right now and police prepare to open the road again. A spokesperson said the incident wasn't severe with no one getting injured, so the regular flow should be restored soon. Stay tuned for more lo-"

He immediately switched it off, groaning despite the glimpse of hope they could move soon.

Only merely twenty minutes had passed since he had returned to the city and he was already regretting it. Missing the lower and more comfortable temperatures in the mountains along with the peace and silence of the temple he had spent those past few months at.

He needed to return, though. Not only because he had to resocialize again since being totally disconnected from anything and everyone and only focusing on meditating and his sword training would eventually turn him into a hermit. He had also missed his friends. And food that wasn't just composed of vegetables, broth and rice. He'd missed meat.

His phone rang then and he didn't need to look at the caller to guess who it was.

"Hey! So you coming back today, right?"

"Yeah, I'm already in the city," he explained with a sigh, "There's a traffic jam though, that's why I'm still not home."

Taehyung hummed on the other side. "What a bad timing," he mumbled, before his voice became cheerful again. "But I'm glad you're finally back. We missed you."

Yoongi smiled. Yeah, he had missed them, too. Taehyung, Cassandra, Jimin and even Arabella. Who would've thought he'd ever miss Arabella. "Yeah, I missed you guys, too," he quietly said, coughing then. "They said it'll move soon."

"Okay, well.. if you want, you can come over later. Or we can go out."

"Sure."

"Alright, see you later then?"

"Yeah, later."

And they hung up.

Yoongi tossed the phone back on the passenger seat. His gaze back to the honking cars in front of him. Noticing some in the front to be slowly moving and he sighed in relief. Finally-

He was about to start the engine as well when the sound of the backdoor opening caught him off-guard. His eyes widened, ready to grab his sword from the passenger seat when he caught a young women panting and stooping in the backseat, sinking as low as possible without falling over the edge.

"Drive!" she whisper-shouted. Sticking her head up just a little bit, only to duck it down just as fast again. Her eyes growing round in panic and she sunk more into her seat. Causing Yoongi's forehead to cease in confusion about who that women was and why she was in his car.

"Wh-"

"Don't look at me! Just drive!"

"Hey, listen I don't-" However, he was cut off by the sudden yells and his eyes spotted numerous men squeezing themselves between the stopped cars in the side mirror. Seemingly in a hurry.

"Go, go, go! She must be here somewhere!" one of them shouted while running ahead and appearing only two cars behind them. The women shot Yoongi a pleading look and he instantly understood. They were looking for her. And they didn't seem like wanting to award her. No. They rather seemed like throuble. Serious trouble.

He sat back in his seat, his eyes staring ahead again. Making an effort in looking as casual as possible while his hand slowly reached for his sword, just in case.

The suspicious looking men came closer, scanning through the numerous stopped vehicles in search for her. Yoongi observed her from the rareview mirror. She had her eyes darted outside and she slid further down, as if she tried turning invisible. He could only assume she was scared as her face didn't show any signs of it anymore. Her jaw was tense and her eyes fierce. Looking determinded to jump onto anyone who dared opening the car door to try drag her out.

His eyes wandered to the side-mirror again, noticing one of the men had almost reached them. His gaze darkening as his thumb slid the shaft of his katana out when he saw the cars right in front of them moving. The traffic jam having dissolved.

Without thinking twice, he instantly switched gears and floored the gas pedal. Rushing off before anyone could even catch a glimpse of his backseat. Finally sensing a somewhat cooling breeze against his damp skin as the car sped up.

A long breath escaped his lips then, feeling relieved for some reason despite not being the one getting chased or even knowing what was going on.

"That was close," he mumbled then and peeked at the rareview mirror, seeing the women also dragging a long sigh in relief. "You should be good now."

She slowly pushed herself up the seat, sitting straight. Taking one last glance over her shoulder to assure her chasers were out of sight. Her lips forming a small grin then and she looked back at him. "Thanks for the help." She threw her head back then, closing her eyes for a moment. "I really thought they'd get me this time."

He arched a brow at her as he left the main road. "'This time'?" he repeated. "So this happened before?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, they're quite persistent."

He hummed, focusing back on the road. He figured she wouldn't tell him, a stranger, who those men were and why they were after her anyway, so he didn't even try.

"You can drop me at the next traffic light," the women said then and leaned forward. Folding her arm on the corner of his seat while pointing ahead.

He frowned at her.

"You sure? I can drive you home if you want. In case you encounter those guys again," he offered, being genuinely worried for the stranger with the feline eyes and raven hair. She shook her head though, declining with a smile. "It's alright. Can't go back home anyway because of them."

"Then maybe a hotel?"

She glanced at him for a moment, narrowing her eyes on him while trying deciphering his intentions. "You're quite sweet for a stranger, unless you're a murderer and that's why you're being so friendly," she giggled then, "But no, seriously, it's fine. I can handle myself."

He didn't show how flustered he felt by her calling him something as random as 'sweet'. Only humming at her response. And the car came to a halt right when the traffic light turned red.

"Thanks again for.. you know, being my getaway car," the women waved when she got out and before he knew she had already walked off. His brows furrowing at direction she had disappeared to. "What a strange girl.." he whispered to himself.

Driving off as soon as the light turned back green.

»»»

next chapter: 0.1 here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback!♡ It motivates me to keep writing :)

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ccrowsiie · 5 months

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I've decided to explain what's been going on with me for the last few months. I figured I owe it to my mutuals since it's definitely going to affect my behavior going forward. I feel it's fair to say something now and maybe even apologize in advance.

In a nutshell: My best friend of 12 years ghosted (me and only me) for people he just met, destroying our relationship. In a coconut shell: One of the most important people in my life allowed our relationship to not just stagnate but actively die, willingly and knowingly breaking our social contract and my boundaries in favor of the adoration and attention from strangers and newer, fresher friends. The fallout sent me into a several months-long spiral that regressed my mental and physical health and led to the relapse of my most self-destructive addictions.

The full story, abridged (if you can believe it):

1/? CW, mentions of child abuse, drug use, mental health.

For clarity's sake, I'll be referring to him as 'Bestie'.

In the hierarchy of closeness, Bestie was right under my husband. Our relationship was 100% platonic but emotionally watertight. We had our disagreements like any pals would, but for the most part, we were siblings. We'd gone on vacations. We'd cooked meals together. We hung out for hours and hours over the many years of our friendship. It's safe to say that he was the closest thing I've ever had to an actual brother. …Because my real one totally sucks ass. I don't have a good relationship with my family. At. All. The majority of our interactions are made out of obligation. It was my dad's literal dying wish to at least try and reconcile with my mother after a lifetime of drugs and abuse. I've been trying my hardest, but dear God she makes it hard sometimes. My sister is alright, I tend to keep her at arm's length because she's a control freak (eldest daughter syndrome + history of abuse) but to say that my relationship with my brother is antagonistic would be a massive understatement. I usually say 'We don't get along' and keep it at that, but it goes deeper. We barely tolerate each other… for reasons I can't understand. I was born dead last in my family, the next oldest sibling is 13 years my senior. Despite the age gap, I may as well have been born the middle child, because bro didn't give up his youngest spot. Both he and my mother show signs of classic narcissism.

You may be thinking to yourself, "Crow, not everyone you dislike is a narc just because your personalities clash~' Save it, please. Don't speak on what you don't know. My mother and brother are a classic narcissistic binary star system. Mother and her golden child. They revolve around each other in a borderline emotionally incestuous way. They do drugs together. She coddles him to an insane degree. He did not move out or get his first job until his 40s. Mom didn't parent me so much as she let me live in her house so she could collect a check from my dad. When I wasn't being actively abused by her husband (won't go into detail here, but know that he was my primary abuser, as he was also her abuser and to a lesser extent my sister's) I was almost always being actively neglected, sometimes in favor of brother. Like, locked out of/into rooms or told to go away whenever she didn't need me for something. Especially in my formative years (age 5-10), when mom was still shooting dope and leaving me alone for days at a time or bringing me around the men she'd shoot up with. I almost lost her to drug-related violence and she almost lost me to the state a couple of times. Eventually, she found a way to have her cake (me, child support check generator) and eat it too (heroin and crack). While she gained sobriety from hard drugs just before I entered middle school, the neglect and other forms of abuse persisted through the remainder of my childhood, until I enlisted in the military out of desperation.

So with all of that boo hoo hoo shit out of the way, it's safe to say that I have a bit of a -thing- surrounding abandonment.

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donnerpartyofone · 9 months

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I just had the misfortune of seeing that 100k post where someone is commanding Twitter migrants to reblog all the fan art they see, on the premise that if an artist has a reblog:like ratio of 1/50 or something then they'll be so discouraged that they'll quit. OP then reblogs their own post to say that there's someone who sometimes reblogs the first post 200 times a day--which like, my reaction to that was "wow that's completely unhinged and not good", but what OP meant was that we should all cater to whatever that person wants to make them happy. I generally don't see the point in yelling at strangers on the internet, but I really had to restrain myself from pointing out that this was the stated motivation on the Staff post about fucking with the chronological feed: that if we all have too much power to curate what we see, then some users will feel unpopular. Which is like, completely normal and acceptable, in reality. There are just so many problems with this attitude:

Nobody owes you attention. Most people don't enjoy random waves of applause just for existing, and most of us have learned to live with this and place importance on things other then validation from strangers.

If your principle reason for making art is NOT the art-making itself, and if you know that you would stop making art if it never got you some form of fame and fortune, then you should literally stop making art. Just stop right now, and find something to do that is more rewarding and less psychologically perilous for you.

If you have ever tried to work in any creative industry at all, then you should know that it can take absolutely forever to get good at something. And it might never happen. And even if it does happen and you turn out to be a genius, still, people might not notice or care--especially if you're really original. There's a reason it's become cliche for people to remind each other of how famous writer X wasn't published until he was 50 or famous painter Y only became important posthumously. If you can't take the heat, see above.

If you're just begging your personal friends to help circulate your work, that's between you and them. But you can't order people who just got to this platform five minutes ago to fill up their accounts with stuff that maybe they like enough to hit the like button, but they don't like it enough to add it to their own page. People are allowed to like your art on a limited basis.

If you're so emotionally dependent on popularity that you think its acceptable to strong-arm strangers into shilling for you, then you should probably take some time to get to know yourself better and figure that out, before you rake yourself over the coals of social media conflict about it. I used to have a mutual (not an artist, just a guy) who had really serious behavioral problems in this department: One day I reblogged a very popular post that had been making the rounds, and suddenly this guy was up my ass with righteous anger about why I didn't reblog it from him personally. I actually took the time to explain that the post itself was doing a lot of traffic, I had no idea that he was one of the thousands of people who had reblogged it, and I can't bother to go combing through his blog every time I see something I like just in case I can reblog it from him individually. Incredibly, he didn't even get what I was saying, he was so invested in the idea that I should conscientiously use my blog to pay tribute to him, and eventually I had to block him for being rude like this all the time, and he was really sad about it. Don't be like that guy.

And finally, the post I'm referring to counted as art things like gif sets and "edits" (a vague concept I think barely counts as creative work but whatever) from TV shows and all kinds of other fan posts. And like, that is just a bridge too far. I shouldn't even have to explain why. And I won't.

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turn2tech · 7 months

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what the fuck just happened

ok um sorry for posting this on tumblr out of literally anywhere else but i just got out of a really WEIRD relationship and im honestly not sure what else to do!!!

tws: possibly toxic relationships? (past) physical/emotional abuse

holy shit wow where do i even start

this all happened so fast!!!

ok me and my bf of 1.5 years have broken up!!! It was our homecoming dance i invited them as well as our mutual best friend, and when they got there they told me they thought it was going to be a date. They acted very upset throughout the entire thing brought down the mood all together. I'm not saying that they aren't allowed to express their emotions, but the thing is, they were there when i invited the best friend. After that, i broke up with them while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up (we're freshmen). We agreed to stay friends.

After all of that, i invited the best friend over to my house, mainly so i could complain about how they were kind of a manipulative asshole throughout the entire relation (dw, ill get to that later) and we got to talking, eventually coming to the conclusion they we should also stop being friends with them.

Me, being the irrational and impulsive prick that i am, told someone that max was close too! I told him the next day at school, not realizing i forgot to tell him that the confrontation itself was going to happen at a later date, and him, confused, went to class and asked my boyf what happened.

blah blah blah yada yada yada i said some stupid shit in a group chat, insulted them while trying to explain the situation, and was just kind of bitchy about the whole thing. Without hearing my side of the story, everyone immediately took max's side and kicked me. I understand it to an extent, but even to this day they refuse to get my perspective which is really concerning to me. I had someone i knew inside the group chat still, and they sent me screenshots of everyone saying how they never liked me in the first place and how AND I QUOTE "only ever talk about cartoons and video games." Like... damn. I would genuinely rather be punched in the face and have my nose broken by a complete and utter stranger on the street then to see that.

A few days after, the friend that started this all insisted that apologizing to the bf directly would fix everything. I gave a whole ass SPEECH about how i was in the wrong about the things i said, but i still felt our relationship was unhealthy for me. They didn't add me back to the group chat, nor did i ever have someone ask me for my side. Oh, and the inside friend? refuses to defend me in fear of getting kicked out as well.

The mutual best friend actually made amends with the bf so they aren't on bad terms, but in truth they are only there to report what he has said about me. He has said the following:

that i was emotionally distant

i ... smelled bad????

i didn't give them enough "physical affection" (i frequently said no to making out)

And that just got me thinking. The entire reason i was emotionally and physically distant was because of, well, physical and emotional abuse ive suffered in the past. Ive had terrible relationships, and even more terrible friends. I told them about this several times, and that it's not their fault im this way! clearly they don't care and have decided to take it personally, which is not my problem.

So you know what? ive got a couple of gripes with you too.

you never(rarely) showered and actively admitted that to me

you were a compulsive liar that lied about fucking EVERYTHING

you frequently emotionally presured me into staying with you, using the phrase "I'd probably kill myself if we ever broke up haha" frequently

you faked being scene (dressed the part, did not listen to the music LMFAO I JUST REMEBERED THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS MITSKI HELP)

AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,

YOU FUCKING FAKED BEING TRANS TO DATE ME

yes, you read that last part right! the NIGHT we broke up they went to all their social media accounts and changed the flags in their pfps, as well as the pronouns in their bio, oh no, im sorry, HER BIO. I am pissed and angry and mainly sad that i didn't see the signs earlier. And hey, if you read this far, thanks.

Anyways, there's actually a lot more inbetweens to this story, including the collapse of an entire friend group, rumors, and a musical (not fucking kidding), but im tired and typing this just made me really sad. goodnight.

#so uhm #hows your day going #turn2tech #VENT #vent blog #personal vent

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asmoonlightthroughthepines · 9 months

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8 Shows To Know Me

Thank you @maplefiasco for tagging me *months* ago 🙈 Do check her post for excellent shows recommendations!

If you see this post on your dash, please consider yourself (no-pressure) tagged, whether we’re in a follower, mutual or complete strangers situation :)

Coming up with "shows to know me" was more challenging that I thought? In the end I chose shows I have often rewatched and that never fail to cheer me up. In no particular order:

Remington Steele

This show is a delight and a half. For years growing up it was on channel 3 in France every summer, and every rewatch makes me feel like the happiest teenager. Expect RayBans and vintage cars, because this is 80s LA with an Old Hollywood, Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn inspiration. Unfortunately it's become impossible to find in Europe/France, and my entire family laments this fact on a monthly basis.

The Newsroom

If you get one thing out of this post, it’s to give The Newsroom a try. Not everyone loves Sorkin, in fact several of my friends hate this show, but I LOVE it. It’s chaotic. It’s fast. It’s idealistic. Everyone is a genius at their job and an idiot in their personal life. And the cast! Emily Mortimer, Jeff Daniels and Sam Waterston are superb! Olivia Munn and Thomas Sadoski are spectacular! Dev Patel and David Harbour are delightful! And the supporting cast - Jane Fonda! Chris Messina! Terry Crews! BJ Novak! Only this show would make me use so many adjectives and exclamation marks.

Hart of Dixie

This is my guilty pleasure, “won’t tell people about it because they’ll think I’m a basic bitch" show. It’s super cozy, the clothes are great, the dudes are hot, there’s a pet alligator called Burt Reynolds, the folksy-country soundtrack is fun, everyone is nice and walks around the WBros PLL and Gilmore Girls lot fake southern town with a pastry and home-baked pie in hand, and nothing really bad ever happens. Truly the happiest of basic bitch shows.

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

I ignored Mrs Maisel for years because I’m not a big stand up or 50s style person, but it turned out to be one of the shows that’s made me laugh the most in the history of shows. It’s funny, it’s warm and it does more for Jewish humour than most pieces of media (The Nanny is the exception) since Annie Hall’s Easter lunch scene. I didn’t care much for s4 (style really took over content for me) and s5 is.. well I just don’t know how they explain a lot of those choices there. But man, s1-2 is something I would (and will) happily rewatch on a regular basis.

Friends It’s not original, it's "90s diverse" but sue me. I’m old enough to have watched it with my siblings when it first came out (VHS, baby!) and it’ll never not feel cozy and fun. I won’t catch it on tv because ad breaks will reduce it to unfunny, memeable catchphrases, but every few years I’ll pop a couple of seasons in the dvd player (DVDs, baby!) and it’ll still make me laugh like it’s my first time watching it.

Arrested Development

Do I need to explain? Yes s4 was half good/half bad when it was released (and somehow made mostly bad when it was re-edited) and I pretend s5 doesn’t exist. But seasons 1-3 are the definition of perfect tv! And in case you didn’t know, Jason Bateman and Will Arnett host a podcast (along with Sean Hayes of Will and Grace) called Smartless; the episode with Tony Hale (Buster) as the guest had me in literal tears.

Chuck

There’s a scene where Chuck’s best friend Morgan says that he’s spent years devising a work system that allows him to do as little as possible at his job, and he’s not about to ruin that by accepting a promotion. My entire family quotes this on a regular basis. I have watched s1-3 at least half a dozen times and just typing that makes me want to watch it again. Love the music, the ridiculous spy adventures and the unhinged background characters. Also Chuck looks exactly like one of my high school best friends which makes it even funnier.

LOOK. I did not expect this show to take over my life the way it did, and tbh I don’t really have an 8th show that hits both “will rewatch this many times” and “makes me feel warm and happy”. So I went for the one that currently has 12 drafts sitting in my fic folder. It’s violent and ridiculous and is equally funny (see ridiculous) and angsty. It got me through the 2nd lockdown, on the edge of my seat while live texting all nearly ten seasons of it to friends. But watch s1-4 and tell me you’re normal about Tony x Michelle. I dare you.

#tumblr games #what almost made the list: alias/cougar town (it was my safe place for a few years! despite ccox’s botox)/the persuaders (the 70s show)

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newbie-whovian · 2 years

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Hello Again, hope you are well and doing good. Could I get a second part please? If not that all good, love your work. 😀 this song reminds me of the Doctor. Hope you enjoy it

(Aighty 👌 sorry it took forever for me to finish this, band ate all of my time, I swear I'm still alive)

Strange Magick pt. 2 - Featuring The Tenth Doctor

Donna watched the Doctor disappear into the TARDIS and shook her head, rolling her eyes with a smile. She held the strap of her bag and strode into the marketplace, standing near the back of the small audience that had formed around you.

You continued to perform your tricks, conjuring small glittering butterflies from your palms and causing the children to light up in delight (some of them literally). It reminded Donna of a magician her mother had hired to perform at her tenth birthday, only that chap had been pulling flowers out of his sleeve, plain as daylight, and you didn’t have any sleeves at all. She watched as you wove an image of a dragon spitting a plume of smoke, swooping low against the ground before exploding in a shower of sparks, and the audience cheered. You stepped off of your box and smiled mischievously, giving them all a deep bow with a flourish of your cloak.

The audience dropped small coins into your hat before slowly dispersing, and Donna stepped closer. “How do you do that?” she asked with a smile, “I mean, I’ve seen sleight of hand or whatever, but that’s not what you’re doin’.”

You grabbed your hat off of the ground and pocketed the coins, vanishing the hat away with a flick of your wrist and giving her a smile. “A magician never reveals their secrets,” you said, picking up your soapbox and beginning to walk through the market.

Donna followed and said, “That’s all fine with me, drives my friend there bonkers though,” gesturing back towards the TARDIS.

You smirked and said, “He’s a Time Lord, from Gallifrey?”

Donna nodded and crossed her arms, saying, “How’d you know that?”

“The only time I’ve ever seen something appear out of nowhere by someone’s means other than my own, it was a Time Lord,” you explained, “They’re all dreadfully stuffy and a bit close-minded.”

“Yeah, ironic, innit?”

In this case, the TARDIS was about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine, which was to say not very helpful at all.

The Doctor paced around the console as different tests were being run, and one by one, they all came up with no useful information whatsoever. He frowned and muttered to himself, “Oh c’mon, it’s got to be something,” resting his hands on the console with a huff. He found his pair of reading glasses (that he didn’t need, but that was none of anyone's business now, was it?) and slipped them on, taking a closer look at the monitors.

The TARDIS hummed at him indignantly, and he whipped off his glasses with a frown, saying out loud, “No I will not calm down! There’s no way it’s ‘just magic’, magic doesn’t exist, never has, never will.” He looked back at the monitor and tugged it closer, mumbling, “There’s a logical explanation, there always is.”

The TARDIS hummed again smugly as yet another test came up negative, and he shot her a glare.

You walked with this stranger, the woman who called herself Donna Noble, bonding over your mutual disdain for Time Lords.

“I dunno what that one would do without me around, probably get himself blown up or somethin'," she said, looking at each stall as you passed them.

You frowned and said, "Blown up? But I thought they were more likely to stay cooped up on Gallifrey rather than be out in the universe. It's odd enough seeing one off of Gallifrey in the first place."

Donna shrugged. "That's the Doctor for you. Never really been one for the rules. Also thinks he's a bit of a god."

Something seemed to occur to her and she stopped for a second, saying, "Come to think of it, I guess he counts as the average Time Lord now, y'know, since the rest of them are dead."

You stopped in your tracks. "Dead? How?" you asked, and Donna gave another shrug.

"He doesn't talk about it, and I can't much blame him, can I?" she answered, quickly getting distracted by a display of jewelry.

All of a sudden, the man you'd seen standing by the blue box, this "Doctor", stepped his way out of the crowd and spoke up. "Donna, come on, we're leaving." He gave you a wary look.

Donna protested, placing her hands on her hips, "We've only just got here, and you already want to leave?"

He nodded exasperatedly, reaching for her hand and rolling his eyes as she held it away.

"Now hold on! I'm not done lookin'! You promised me a day of shoppin' after that disaster on Peladon, and I'm not lettin' you cheat your way out!" she said, and you couldn't help but chuckle.

The Doctor gave you a wary look before Donna crossed her arms, saying, "Well? Not backin' out on me, are you?"

"Alright, alright, fine, but we're not staying in this district," he said, "not if there's magic users."

You raised an eyebrow. "Magic users? Well if that's what you're so worried about, you'll have to leave the planet. It's full of us."

He froze. "Hold on. The whole planet?"

You nodded.

"But that's impossible, the Time Lords-"

"We don't exactly advertise it, 'come to Libopin III, see the magic show!'"

"Then how come-?"

"I've got to make a living, haven't I?"

He shrugged. "Fair point."

Donna spoke up, "C'mon, it's a fabulous market. Who cares if there's a few street performers, eh?"

She turned to you. "No offense."

You shrugged and said, "None taken."

"And besides, if we leave here, you might send us into a black hole or a lava pit or somethin' like that. And I'd appreciate a little break before we go back to the crazy," she said, crossing her arms again.

The Doctor paused before letting out a dramatic sigh, saying, "Fine. But I don't want you," pointing at you vindictively, "pulling any funny business."

You held up your hands and said with a smile, "Of course not. I'll keep my spooky magic tricks to myself."

Donna tried and failed to smother a snort.

#doctor who #doctor who fic #tenth doctor #10th doctor #donna noble #me: posts wip update #also me: posts fic and immediately makes wip update inaccurate #👍

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slasher-male-wife · 2 years

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This is just a trans rant because I don’t have anywhere else to go and a lot of cool trans people are on here.

Obviously talking about transphobia in this and strong language is used, brief mentions of an ed and toxic relationships

I hate having to tone down my gender identity for cis people. If I explain to them that I’m like more of a genderfluid man who uses he/they/it pronouns they get confused and ask a ton of questions or just judge me for using it/its pronouns. My mutual @the-slasher-madame described gender the best by saying its a sea creature at the bottom of the ocean made of mystery meat that jiggles when you poke it. That’s kind of like gender for me. I know I am 100% not a woman but I prefer more general labels like genderfluid guy because that’s what I am.

Don’t get me started on how annoyed people get about me not sticking to the gender binary. Other trans people often are like “You’re the reason people are transphobic” like mf you have a single wrinkle in your brain if you think transphobes didn’t exist before it/its and neopronouns. Like why do you care if I use masculine and gender nuteral terms even though I’m afab. I’m literally a 5′4 17 year old who can’t do a push up and is scared of thunder storms and the leper from it, calm your fucking tits I’m not going to murder your family or make you transition.

Don’t get me fucking started on people constantly sexualizing me for being trans. I think it’s the combination of me being trans, chubby and sometimes being fem that makes people think it’s ok to call me sexual terms even though I clearly state I am a fucking minor. Even if I was an adult it’s not fucking ok to call a stranger a slur I don’t want to say becaus typing it let alone saying it makes me feel gross. I had an interaction with an ex of mine who complained when I told him to stop misgendering me because he “finds it really hot” and “thought I was into it”. Also speaking of exes I have had many exes try to explain to me, a trans person, how gender dysphoria works and how I don’t have it because sometimes I wear a skirt and do makeup and don’t bind 24/7. A lot of my exes have been from the UK which makes me want to hate the region as a whole but Brahms Heelshire and Christian Bales exists (along with other actors I’m forgetting) are from the UK so for now they get a pass.

People act like because I’m a minor I don’t know I’m actually trans but the moment I become and adult I’m “grooming” kids by talking about being trans. Hrt and other gender affirmations have saved my life. For the first 14 years of my life I thought I was a girl was hell for me. It only got worse as puberty went on. If I could have gone on hormone blockers before I started puberty I would have 100%. I remember being excited for puberty because I always felt like something about me was off so I thought thats what would fix it.

Also I don’t have to and am not going to debate my basic human rights and happiness with you. I deserve respect as a trans person and I deserve healthcare. On a side note America should step up like most other wealthy nations in the world and make heathcare free. Also I hate the fact the only trans men I really ever see are skinny, masculine and maybe cis passing trans men. Along with gender dysphoria I have body dysmorphia which makes me feel even worse about my body. It crushes me to think about how I’ll never look like other trans men or even cis men because of how big my rib cage is and how my shoulders are never going to be right. How I can’t get rid of stretch marks and I most likely will have to pay out of pocket for facial masculineization surgery. I struggle to lose weight for many reasons which has led to eating disorders and so much fucking guilt.

I remember being told by an ex that I’ll always be an ugly fat t slur and I often think back to those words. I’ve never felt healthy true romantic love and I feel like I never fucking will because I’ll always be an ugly, fat t slur. Even in friend groups I’m the odd one out, even among other trans people. I have to constantly explain I can’t do this or that because of my bone structure and weight and how I can never feel comfortable wearing anything and most of the time all the “help” or “tips” I get is equivilent to me asking for maple syrup and everyone telling me to go lick a maple tree.

This kind of explains why my comfort characters are slashers along with Carrie White and Ben Handscome. I can relate to what they deal with and while none of them are trans men (canonnicaly) I can still find comfort in knowing that someone else understands what it’s like. I know this is kind of over sharing and literally no one cares but I just have to vent these feelings somewhere and this is my blog where I can do what I want.

#ziggy shut up #ziggys rambles #im sorry this is so long

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hirsheyskisses · 2 years

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oh my god, yes hello! so glad there’s other luxiem writers pumping out stuff. i know it’s hard within school, so don’t feel pressured. i do some partial, sfw fics with plot but nsfw is personally easier with my experience, and since they do get more interactions as well.

it is pretty embarrassing letting my mutuals know, “oh hey! i buy designer bags, make copious amounts of money, and write porn”. especially since there are some younger writers i give advice to and check up on, well, since the internet is rather dangerous from my experience.

sometimes friends aren’t enough, and children need adults. not necessarily to get close to them, but just to make sure the people and how they interact online is safe for them mentally.

i pretty much made an anonymous side blog for porn;; i tried pulling it up on my main and got embarrassed, and privated it right away. i feel more comfortable writing anonymously, but im going to be a bit real.

no one is going to fucking do anything about you posting porn online?? or whatever you post. if it doesn’t hurt anyone, fine! in the end, cyber bullying is just criticism from across the screen from strangers you couldn’t bother to care about. doxxing? i’ve been there before. honestly, if they even cared enough to buy a ticket? come over for a play date pussy. name calling, hate crimes, or whether insolent bullshit sent to you— nothing will affect you if you don’t let it.

— neptune, or @shus-armpit . i should reallyy change my irl because i made it while i was on something;; but it’s rather funny.

Yeah, classes are a pain in my rear. But they're fun in the end, just leave me with little free time. (I'm sure you know the drill- studying, then the actual-work, classtime, all that fun stuff.)

BENBHFNS, that's relatable. My irls don't even know i write this sort of stuff (they know I've been working on creative writing, since i scuddin suck-) but like. I can just imagine it: "Oh. Yeah i write fanfics-" "you.. you WHAT?"

But also, the internet is a dangerous place. I personally tend to avoid people too much younger than me (personal reasons- the few minors I interact with I'm either related to, know their parents, or for online it's maybe five minutes of interaction). But they do need adults, I agree with that- I remember when i was a kid/teen (in that general age range) i trusted most of the adults around me to help me grow. Hell, i still go to people older than me for advice. And especially now- I feel like kids are so, laxx on the internet. Just the other day I'd been playing a game that had side-chatrooms, yk i was vibing, and then this kid- just listed their age, dob, and pob and i just sat there dumbfounded, and had to explain like, "hey.. that's not ok" and the dangers of like, doing that stuff

But in all honesty- yeah.

I never was one that got affected by bullying- like, i was a weird kid i mean i still am, just not a kid anymore- idk. I just have this irrational fear of like, my friends finding me here (which, they could never. my username has literally NOTHING to do with my irl identity, an online friend gave me the name)

and yeah. if someone finna try and find me and fight me, let em come, like in reality why would someone be so desperate anyways, half the people who participate in cyber-bullying would never have the balls to say the things they say to someone face-to-face.

also, the name is perfect and very funny.

#talks w hiryur #neptune you're a cool person

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