#and it also doesn't help much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foolishnpd · 6 months

Text

hmmm I've noticed that a lot of my I'm The Best thoughts come out when I'm angry/upset. I guess superiority is a coping mechanism? it's like a way to comfort and bring myself back up to a good level again

#lilyroaring #npd safe #like literally sobbing and seething in anger #while reassuring myself that I'm the best and everyone else sucks and I deserve everything and fuck everyone else they don't deserve me #which... probably looks pathetic looking from the outside #and it also doesn't help much #but that's always what I default to when I'm pissed off or upset #just a weird little coping mechanism I suppose #of course it comes with the side effect of looking like a stupid edgy kid #like someone criticizes me #I start sobbing in my room and laughing to myself like an evil villain #because hehe they don't know who they're criticizing I will destroy them with my mighty awesomeness #they aren't even worthy of my presence #silly cringe behavior 💀💀

8 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 1 year

Text

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

29K notes · View notes

dollopheadsandclotpoles · 1 year

Text

The Ealdor episode is so fucking wild. Like, Merlin hears his village is in trouble and his mom is having a tough time so he’s like ok bye I’m going home forever and Arthur is like…. wait you're never coming back? So his besotted ass just follows him there. Like he's the ONLY heir to the throne and he says nothing to his father, just leaves in the middle of the night to go to some random village that isn't even a part of his kingdom. He goes up against a bunch of ruthless bandits with a village full of utterly untrained fighters just cause he wants to bring Merlin home I'M

#gay ass episode I swear #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin x arthur #arthur x merlin #ya'll always talk about how Merlin would do anything for Arthur #but Arthur would also literally do anything for merlin #merlin doesn't even ask for his help #Arthur just can't bear the idea of never seeing Merlin again #ACTUALLY THERE'S NO CONFIRMATION THAT MERLIN WOULD EVEN COME BACK WITH HIM #he just loves him so much

6K notes · View notes

kasterarts · 24 days

Text

Moving Forward. (Spoilers for YTTD up through 3-1b)

398 notes · View notes

trappednyourheart · 2 months

Text

The wrong DNA test

( what if, Sheila wasn't really Jason's mother? The system is already corrupted, then what about the test?).

A huge brawl containing every rogue had started at the time of Halloween, causing the people from downtown to fled there home's as joker had clownized the whole neighborhood with his goon's.

Every bats had taken to groups to take out the three parts of Gotham's as the rogue's had started to make alliances, some had lasted quite long while had conflicts, and causing a big damage to Arkham asylum,

It didn't take long before they captured all of them, none of the bats questions as they observed Jason glowing green eyes starting to flick, they thought it was the pit again, growing wary of the cooperation, but Crime alley was involved and that mean business to Red hood's turf.

Catherine todd love her son as her own even if not biological, Jason knew that. But her thing with drugs couldn't make her stop.

Sometimes after that, they could hear Jason humming a tune,a nice melody from Damian's statement saying that Jason muttered to him “ lullaby” as Jason continued to read his book, maybe it could be from Catherine,

they knew how Jason's past with Catherine todd, his mom even if not related, Catherine loves her son like her own kid but her doing drugs and... overdosing couldn't be stop.

Maybe Jason just remembered his mother maybe reminiscing atleast something familiar...even if it was a bad time.

Jason had constantly have been hearing a woman's? Man's? Voice, singing him a lullaby...it soothing, like as if he known and loved this melody...and that's where the dreams kept coming, there was a person, giving him kisses, Talkin to him stories, singing him lullabies and soothing him, he could dream that he was actually a baby, a baby from a normal couple, well don't count the luxurious baby room.

Jason had took out a conspiracies why he was getting this dreams, ( he swears he's not becoming Tim) and voices, maybe like a misshapen memories from the pits of victims? No it's to peaceful for that, maybe magic? He already contacted Constantine but surely hang up after knowing who it was-

Just how is he getting this dreams? Unless it wasn't.... So he proved again his point, he started a DNA test, again but none had records...of Sheila being his biological mother...that was weird, last time he had a test was from the time as robin..and before his-

So he went to that hospital who had said where Sheila had given birth to him, and most of shock is that no one knows a mother giving birth named Sheila haywood but had a document of a baby, of one Jason jay nightingale, the most believing part was that it's the same day he was born in.

His mother, Daniel F. Nightingale was said to be trans as the doctor who help his mother safely delivered him, And saying that his mother loved him,

one Sheila Haywood had the constant trick to get him and taken him as his own, because his mother's family was a wealthy one they practically sold him to her.

Jason had thought that maybe his mother's family never wanted him to have a son with a man from Gotham's crime alley.

Meanwhile Danny had just been YEETED to the DC universe before the start of Batman's justice thing and had been adopted by a very wealthy fruit loops couple as there kid, so he stayed as the couples daughter even pretending, because he owed ghost writer a favor for the last time, and as DC universe exist so it's story, and one thing for sure the child he had to give birth in this universe has a very complicated fate,

he did the one night stand from his supposed friend Willis Todd? He had to befriend him as Dalia F. nightingale the supposed Wealthy daughter who fell in love with a peasant trope, and gotten pregnant making it a scandal, and reaching to his ‘parents’ circle and getting that drama.

But he never thought he would care for his child, his little jay, his ghost side would purr in delight when they held Jason, he was a very hard sucker especially from his pacifier or his breast, it's so weird being in a women body,

but the way his ‘parents’ sold his son to the women who was supposed to get his son killed and being revived by cheap parody ass of ectoplasm.

He went feral, he had an argument to his ‘parents’ but all fell deaf ears, he couldn't find his son in one of the hotels nearby where that BXtch was.

And that time was where his part of the script was fulfilled, ghost writer already took him, both sides of his, were angry.

He. will. get. his. baby. back.

#dcxdp #Danny phantom #dcxdp crossover #Mom!Danny #Batfam #Jason todd #portraits #When the bats find this they decided to help find Jason's Mom only to find out she went missing #his Jay Nightingale now #yes- im getting of topic #so lets just say that clockwork has also has some things involved with his #dcdp #batfam #and ghostwriter #so if this doesn't go to your timeline aus or smth or cannon idk what to say #when the bats found out about Jason's investigation to find his mother #they gladly help but after finding where jason's grandparents who sold him to Haywood #they meet with them #and the whole revealed was much more depressing because His mother died/missing/suicide #Ghost writer was the one who plan the...The death scene.#so jason is sad #and very much wants his momma #because thats how ghost parents shit is right?#yeah i dont think im educated enough #So the grandparents are like grieving for there son (yes they accepted his trans btw).#and let jason and the rest of the batfam in there manor/castle ( cause there seriously old money) and introduce jason to his mom's things #portraits of danny #telling stories of danny in his youth.#but they avoided the way he ‘died’ for ghost writers plot conveniences but they mention #green...like ectoplasm but they just called it green liquid.

420 notes · View notes

sysig · 5 months

Photo

Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Gaster #Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol #Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird #Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth #Not to mention the trauma #And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0 #I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting #But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment #The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats #And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached #How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember #Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol #Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft

618 notes · View notes

lemonduckisnowawake · 8 months

Text

You know, it's a tragedy that there are no (or very little) Vampire x Christian stories out there, not for angst or theology or forbidden seductiveness or whatnot but for the sheer comedy of it all. I mean, the Christian would technically be immune to all of the vampire's shenanigans, like for example...

Vampire: Fool, I am the most powerful vampire in the West. Nothing but the force of an entire holy temple could even deign to scratch me Christian: Idiot, I AM a holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19, fear me and the Spirit inside that can burn you to ashes

#this thought was brought on by a conversation i saw on the km shea discord #and also my need to theologize everything #it would be so funny to me too if we added the fact that the human Christian was also anemic #(not because anemia is funny. especially not if it's chronic. just the fact that the vamp couldn't bite the human)#truth be told it doesn't even have to be a romance to me. just a chaotic comedy duo #lemon duck quacks #lemon duck tales #yeah this is funny #for the words!#one day i will write all my deranged supernatural story ideas that involve way too much Christian imagery and comedy #but for now....#anyway how to make the most unbiteable human that you cannot help be drawn to as a modernized vamp?#Christian and likely chronically iron deficient #i am very sorry if this is offensive #but you know #vampires

1K notes · View notes

zorionbbq · 5 months

Text

sujimon, subzero sonata, redraws, etc!

#fanart #like a dragon #yakuza #yakuza spoilers #<- again not really but still #ALSO SPOILERS IN TAGS ->#apparently it's not normal to take 90398401 tries to beat the jima bros but i am simply built different #(goes in almost 20 levels too low with no group heal and refuses to grind until i die one million times)#and now so much plot is occurring AND [REDACTED] APPEARED FOR SOME REASON? HELLO??? I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU!!!!!#ALL THE REMIXES ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD GOODNESS GRACSIOUS #Y7 AND ICHIBAN ARE. EVERYTHING (PLANET EXPLOSION NOISE)#also why is saejima's face the hardest thing to draw ever i can't get it right at all.... doesn't help that everyone got smoothed

595 notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months

Text

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #a-qing #The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing #They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope #Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses?#A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot'#Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population.#a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent.#Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually.#through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known?#The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan #So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help #Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative?#What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia)#Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back.#(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)

975 notes · View notes

ruporas · 1 year

Photo

soft (and some bittersweet)

#trigun stampede #trigun #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #i think they both spent majority of their lives in solitude and ofc vash went town to town and made friendships promises and etc along the w #way + he had his home and whatnot in the long years he's been alive but he still just seemed so lonely.#in prior versions of trimax he had friends at home at least and maybe he mightv made some but luida and brad are basically just his #guardians in this adaption. like brad used to be a homie.... vash watched that little dude grow up.... and jessica too.... but he doesn't #have that in this adaption. nor a town like july where he had grown close to the townspeople and shaped that tragedy to be closer to his #heart. and wolfwood spent years fighting under the eom and doing shit under their jurisdiction when we saw him so adamantly try to reject #and fight back against that fate. i dont think he had a second at all to get familiar with townspeople or even care to #so its just these two lonely ass souls and vash immediately seeing the good in ww and points it out #ww who is under orders again to be involved in vash's business but he's also SO touchy about it bc vash is so careless and lack that self #regard and also just is not seeing the world that ww is seeing. but then vash helps him and saves him by sharing a piece of what /he/ sees #and it fucking. rescrambled ww's brain for a sec. HE GAVE HIM HOPE!!! he gave him hope!!!! and in turn ww gave vash hope too and its #all done in like 3-4 eps. there's so much fervent attachment in what they managed to give each other in such a short time #but theyre limited to the contract to the inevitable confrontation with knives - so while theyd want to give into that chance to love this #person who managed to give them smth special they just can't at all #ruporas art

2K notes · View notes

somegrumpynerd · 3 months

Text

When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen

Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.

#UTDR #UTMV #My Art #Truce au #Killer Sans #Nightmare Sans #Remember when I said I wouldn't have that comic done? Sike I finished it earlier #Anyway you ever accidentally name a guy and don't realise until years later when he brings it up #Killer loves it because he feels special for getting his own name that's not just his au #(and also because he wants to be Nightmare's favourite and this is his evidence)#Nightmare hates this. He did NOT mean to name his henchman like a pet he feels awful #Maybe down the road Dream can convince him how much Killer loves it and he'll let it go #Killer absolutely hates being called sans he doesn't want to think about his old life #So the new job and name were kind of just what he needed at the start #Anyway I'm rambling. I just thought it was interesting Killer was one of the few to not be named for his au #And given the name it might be something Nightmare had a hand in #He also helped him find his signature look with the inverted clothes colours but we'll get to that another time this is already too long

378 notes · View notes

tsunael · 18 days

Text

wolcred week | 1. 'the first.'

They all knew it was coming. Either their brightest star would claim the last of the Light, or the Light would claim her.

What were they to do but careen to their inevitable deaths? He had sacrificed one lamb for another, and now a third was to be laid upon the butcher's block. How many must die so that another might live?

He would not forget the sight of the woman before him, holding her outstretched hands aloft as the curtain of Light parted one last time to reveal the night sky in all her glory. Menphina smiled down in a smirk of a crescent for their efforts, and just as she had appeared, was the curtain drawn once again.

He didn’t need an aetherometer to see that Tsuna was suffused– the aether was thick, cloying enough to be seen. The ewer of her body failed to contain it, finally splitting at the seams for a means of escape.

Their ascian friend dealt the final blow. The Exarch, in his well-meaning duplicity, left for dead. And then Tsuna slumped to the ground, just as lifeless.

He ought to be angry– furious– for Urianger’s joint deception, for his own empty hands, or for the cards Sister Fate had dealt them time and time again, but the queer feeling roiling within him was not one of anger, but of fear. He stood there, powerless, shaking to his core whilst the twins rushed to Tsuna’s aid alongside Ryne.

Even Minfilia could not wholly extinguish the Light– she could only freeze it in time– and as Ryne sank to her knees beside the supine woman in hopes of doing the same, he could only watch in abject horror.

“Give her room,” he barked, though the twins were undeserving of his ire as he approached. They still took a collective step back.

Brilliant white blood readily trickled from Tsuna’s nose, and by way of her laboured breathing it was evident that she was being torn apart by a force of which a layman could not hope to see. Something within Tsuna was stirring, whether it was brought about by her own will, or by Ryne’s suppression, he couldn’t know.

It began first in her hands as they twitched and grasped for purchase, then her spine as it coiled. Her eyes snapped open, hungry and searching, as she lunged for the Oracle’s throat in hopes of supping upon the wellspring.

Thancred fell to his knees, wrestling the woman onto her back as an inhuman screech tore from her throat. “Don't stop!” he cried out, harsh with concerted effort. There was an unnatural strength burgeoning within her tiny frame that even as a man grown he struggled to contend with, and if Ryne did not finish the ritual, it would swallow them whole.

Ryne was shaken, but nothing if not determined. The power flowed through her once more, and Tsuna’s struggles came to a head. She thrashed upon the ground against his weight, spitting blood, and gnashing teeth. She would bite her tongue if it kept up-- he could barely hold her steady long enough for Ryne to work in her magicks.

“In our lifetime, please!”

"I'm trying!" "Ryne made a frustrated growl of effort as a bead of sweat rolled down her cheek. The very aether about them seemed to compress, tangible enough that even he could feel it become leaden as it coalesced.

Tsuna cried out one last time, waning to a whine as she pushed wildly against his arms, seizing. Her legs writhed as if a sudden, great pain knifed through her. And then all was silent.

Ryne immediately flagged, catching herself on the marble. Her power had all but been exhausted whilst he held the aftermath limp in his arms. Y’shtola and Urianger had begun to crowd about, to inquire, to plan, to move, but all he could do was hold the small woman in his arms, and pray to the Twelve, unseen, that the Light did not break through once again whilst their last bastion was too weak to hold.

“Ryne,” he called, softly, intently. Apology was writ together in his tone. “Are you all right?”

She nodded, though he knew she waned, looking close to tears from it all.

He swallowed thickly, realising he shared in the sentiment.

Adjusting Tsuna’s body in his arms, he felt just how cold she had grown. They needed a chirurgeon's assistance, and to get off this Godsforsaken rock, but more than that they needed a miracle. His hands would not stop trembling.

“Ryne, you know that I would not deign to ask a favour of you.” He breathed for a long moment, hanging his head low in penance. “Gods–” He swore. “You have to help her. I– We can’t lose her to this.”

Ryne stared back at him, having caught her breath, eyes wide, and glassy. She was searching him for something he couldn't know.

She opened her mouth, before aborting the question. Finally, she pursed her lips, looking uneasy in a way that only managed to make him feel worse.

“I’ll do what I can,” she whispered, and he had no choice but to believe.

#gpose #barfs this is so...#nay I shan't say it... (cwinge)#ANYWAY IT BEGINS........... welcome to my wolcred week #7 days of hell #thinks about when he called wol their brightest star haha anyway #please help her ryne she ate so much glue #i should just make this tunasan week so it doesn't get conflated with the other one but #who gives a hoot #ALSO THANK YOU @sileniadream for giving me a tip for getting this gpose arena set up-- couldn't have done it without your crimes 🫡🫡🫡🫡#wolcred week

155 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 11 months

Text

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

3K notes · View notes

spielzeugkaiser · 11 months

Note

So if it nears winter time before they find Jaskier, would Geralt take Milek to Kaer Morhen? Or does this timeline take dubious place after TW3 game, and ah, events have occurred?

[MASTERPOST] - (context for when Jaskier and Vesemir met) Milek already was at Kaer Morhen at one point! But. Ahhh. Events have occurred 😬

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier lovechild #vesemir #the witcher wild hunt #ciri #VESEMIR in this AU is a tricky thing once he does know and Geralt is back #once Geralt gets to know the truth he won't blame Milek or Jaskier that much for not telling him - he will definitely argue with Yennefer #BUT VESEMIR. that is the one that will sting the most - and he can't talk it through with him #but Milek has seen Kaer Morhen - although he won't say it at that point he doesn't know how to explain that one #also Jaskier seeing Kaer Morhen (probably? I haven't decided on that one yet) the first time #certainly the first time after their fallout - without Geralt #that must be a strange feeling #also remember how I said somewhere Mileks shit health is some aftereffects of the trials?#Vesemir tries to help her but Geralt would also be furious because I think a lot of what happens there alchemy wise is #at least sort of #close to what the trials were

654 notes · View notes

brzaski · 1 year

Text

on March 14th 2023, a Polish abortion activist Justyna Wydrzyńska was sentenced to eight months of community service for helping a woman in an abusive relationship access abortion pills

Poland has one of the strictest abortion laws in Europe.

if you can, please consider donating to ADT, the organisation that helps people in Poland access abortion!

edit: i see this post got reblogged into the terf teritory. ADT is trans friendly. please just donate and be quiet <3

#luckily they still can appeal and it's better than jail still but like.#it's so stupid that so much time is wasted on those absurd trials #i know that community service doesn't sound that bad comparing to some other things happening around the world #but still at first she was told she could face up to 3 years in jail #idk those women are heros and make me feel much more safer and less stressed living in Poland #because I know if I ever needed an abortion they would be there to help me #and also 5 dollars is almost an equivalent of a minimum hourly wage in Poland #polish currency is weaker so even 2 dollars count a lot!#and the judge was a woman! same as the leader of the constitutional tribunal that made abortion more illegal #feminism #abortion #poland #human rights #reproductive rights

2K notes · View notes

fredoesque · 2 months

Text

see the THING about goodsir and stanley is that goodsir may be way less inclined to act cruelly but he has a far greater capacity for it.

#no listen to me bc stanley is cruel out of uncaringness #oh your toes are getting snipped off? well don't expect any coddling he's got better things to do #but that's the extent of it he doesn't care to hurt anyone either #(and yes obviously carnevale shows that he very much can hurt people but even then the hurt is not his /goal/#it's a necessary evil so he can help people. of all things)#in contrast with goodsir who cares so so much about things and about doing them right #including. when pushed far enough. cruelty #the terror #i hope people know whenever i make a mean post about goodsir i do like him #i just think one of his best qualities is that he kinda sucks <3 #also tbc having a capacity doesn't mean living up to it. it just means you could

145 notes · View notes