#and it does mess me up that i have to see this woman with a bow and arrows

[strangersmunsons]

read 'em and weep #5

you're acting weird. Eddie decides to do something about it.

Chapter 5 Eddie x Bookworm!Reader Series Read Ch. 4 -> Here!

Contains: Eddie x Reader, fem!bookworm!reader, mix of fluff & angst, romantic gestures, idiots in love, communication breakthrough, shy babies working out some kinks. No mention of reader's appearance, no use of y/n. Warnings: Discussion of Eddie's past, mentions of poverty, drug use, allusion to violence. Mentions of food & eating. Word Count: 4.5k sometimes I think I make him too soft in this series, but I can't help myself. are you guys tired of lovesick!eddie yet???

Eddie wakes up late on Sunday — it’s well after noon when he rises from bed with a sticky yawn in his throat and sleep in his eyes. In his rumpled t-shirt and boxers, hair a tangled mess, he pads down the hallway and into the kitchen, where Wayne is dropping scoops of pancake batter into a sizzling pan on the stove.

“Mornin’, Ed.”

“G’morning,” Eddie grunts back. He plops into one of the seats at the tiny table, rubbing his eyes.

“Sleep okay?”

“Like a rock.”

Wayne nods approvingly. “Figured as much. I could hear ya from the living room.”

Eddie scrunches his face in annoyance. “You could not.”

His uncle smiles, mirth buried in his whiskers.

“Well, you deserve a good night’s sleep. You’re always out and about these days.”

Wayne flips the last pancake, lets it cook, then adds it to the stack he’s already piled up. He sets the plate of cakes and two cups of coffee onto the table, and takes a seat across from his nephew.

They begin to eat in silence. That’s not unusual, as Eddie has a tendency to inhale his food — the boy’s got a garbage disposal for a stomach — but he’s not scarfing it down the way he normally does. Instead, he pushes his breakfast around his plate in between taking small bites, looking moody.

Wayne pauses in between sips of coffee, #1 Uncle mug hovering halfway to his lips. 

“Everything okay?”

“Uh…I think so. Yeah.”

Wayne raises an eyebrow skeptically at him. “You sound like you’re not sure.”

Eddie shifts uncomfortably in his seat, frowning at his pancakes.

He doesn’t want to push, lest Eddie shut him down completely, but Wayne’s curious. Sue him.

“Somethin’ happen with your girl last night?”

Eddie blushes and sits back in his seat, voice pained. “Wayne —”

“We don’t have to get all touchy-feely. It’s just a question,” he tells him sternly. “And believe it or not, kiddo, I have known a woman or two in my lifetime. I can give you advice if you need it, y’know. I’m not a eunuch.”

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “Gross, man.”

Wayne laughs, a gruff chuckle that reverberates around the small kitchen. Eddie smiles in spite of himself.

“So what’s the problem?”

Eddie drums a nervous rhythm against the table with his fingers, naked without their bulky rings. “I don’t know, really. She was just kinda weird yesterday.” He pauses for a moment, searching for the right word. “Distant.”

Wayne listens intently, fist tucked under his chin. “Distant how?”

Eddie fills his cheeks with air, and lets it out in a long, slow exhale. “Well, she was fine in the morning, but last night she was really quiet. Especially when we were alone, which I don’t understand.” If you’d been nervous to spend time with his friends, then he’d get it, but you seemed fine at Benny’s. It was before and after, when you were by yourselves, which strikes him as odd.

He gestures helplessly with his hands, words flowing faster now, confusion leaking into every syllable. “She’s usually really excited when she sees me. All happy and stuff, y’know? And we always talk a lot, but she hardly said a word to me. And at first I thought she just had a tough day at work, but then —” Eddie stops abruptly, clamping his mouth shut. I didn’t get hardly any kisses, he finishes miserably in his head.

Rather than verbalize the thought for Wayne, he just throws his arms up, letting his flailing limbs speak for themselves.

Wayne gives him a solemn nod, determined to keep his expression neutral. If he reacts too strongly either way, then Eddie might not feel so inclined to discuss his love life with him again. Ever the sensible one, he asks, “Did she have a tough day at work?”

Eddie looks sheepish. “That’s what she said,” he admits reluctantly. 

“But you don’t believe her?”

Eddie’s bottom lip juts out petulantly. “It just didn’t feel like she wanted to be around me.” His face falls, and his voice becomes softer, the hurt more pronounced. “Like she couldn’t wait to get away.”

Wayne heaves a sigh, and thinks it over. “Personally, I think you’re readin’ too much into it,” he finally responds. “If she tells you she had a hard day, then she probably did.” He rubs his stubbly chin thoughtfully. “Although, you might be onto something there….”

Eddie’s face crinkles in despair, mouth falling open.

“Now, hang on,” Wayne adds hastily, seeing his kicked-puppy look. “I just mean to say, that you’ve been spendin’ an awful lot of time together, right? And you haven’t really known each other that long, but you’ve hardly gone a day this summer without seeing her. Maybe she’s runnin’ out of things to say to you,” he jokes.

Eddie clicks his tongue in distaste. “C’mon,” he complains.

“She might just need a little space, is all I’m sayin’.” The older man shrugs. “Doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, or that she doesn’t wanna be around you. Just give her some breathing room. And then, in a few days, if you still feel like things are off, talk to her about it.”

Eddie squints at him. “Can I just do that?”

Wayne shakes his head in disbelief. “Boy, I swear,” he mumbles.

After breakfast, Eddie mulls over what his uncle told him. Now, he’s the first to admit that he doesn’t really know how to be a boyfriend, but goddamn it, he’s trying.

Is that his problem? Is he trying too hard?

Okay, fine, he’s a bit of a smother. But it’s difficult for him not to be; he’s spent far too long navigating life in this thankless town alone. Now that he’s finally found you, he can scarcely bring himself to let go, even for a second.

“Breathing room,” he mutters to himself. Fine. No biggie. He can deal with that.

For the next few days, Eddie resists the temptation to call you first, or visit you unannounced at work, which is a task that would be much easier to accomplish if you were giving him literally anything in return.

But you haven’t called. Not for an evening chat, which was customary on days he didn’t stop by the library. Not to check up on him, not to find out where he’s been, or why he hasn’t visited…it’s like nothing is out of the ordinary. 

Evidently, you’re not missing him at all.

The phone has only rung twice so far this week. Once it was Henderson, and the other one was a telemarketer that he promptly hung up on. His ego took a huge hit every time he came home and asked, “Any calls for me?” and had to see Wayne shake his head no.

Disappointed, and overwhelmed by a creeping sense of dread, Eddie concludes that your radio silence could mean one of two things: either you just don’t feel the need to be around him as much as he does you, or he did something to upset you. 

He can’t figure out which is worse. The internal debate plagues him morning and night as the days keep rolling by.

Up until now, you haven’t seemed to mind his clinginess. If anything you were nearly always overjoyed to see him — so much so that it startled him, and he often found himself looking back over his shoulder, to see if there was someone else standing behind him that you were smiling at instead. Has the novelty of Eddie Munson worn off so quickly? It didn’t seem like you, so kind and attentive towards him, but who was he to expect you to want to be with him twenty-four/seven?

Unless it was something else entirely, something he had done that didn’t sit right with you, that was causing this. He tries to think of what he could possibly said or did that may have offended you, but he keeps coming up empty. 

And then, in the midst of his warring thoughts, inspiration strikes.

“Uhhh…hey, Wayne?” 

Wayne calls back from his spot on the couch, where he’s immersed in the latest episode of The Joy of Painting. “Yeah?”

Eddie shuffles into the living room, lips pursed. He tries to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible. “Would it be…ill-advised…to show up unannounced at her house with a grand romantic gesture?”

Wayne stares at him. “You know I said space, right?”

Eddie starts packing up a brown paper grocery bag with everything he thinks he’ll need, while Wayne hovers in the kitchen, watching him with his arms crossed. He’s simultaneously disapproving and amused.

“So you’re just gonna ignore my advice, huh?”

“Wayne,” Eddie sighs, “I appreciate your sage words of wisdom, I really do. But unfortunately, I am not a patient man. I need resolution now, or else I’ll die.” He pulls out another snack from a cupboard and stows it away in the bag, alongside the sandwiches he made and some other morsels scrounged up from the kitchen. He’ll get your favorite drink, too, when he stops for flowers at the gas station —

“You? Impatient? Naw.”

“Ha, ha,” Eddie replies sarcastically.

Wayne shakes his head. “I sure hope this works out for you.”

Eddie hesitates. “I mean….” Suddenly insecure, he looks over at Wayne, anguished expression on his face. “Is it a completely horrible idea?”

Wayne softens immediately, and silently curses himself for discouraging him. “No. No, I don’t mean that. I’m actually…well, I’m mighty proud to see you treatin’ a lady so well.” Eddie turns scarlet, grimacing at the praise, and Wayne continues. “I’m just worried you might overwhelm her, with…how well you’re treatin’ her.”

Eddie rakes a hand through his hair. “I just…don’t like the way things feel right now. And I don’t wanna make the mistake of ignoring it, hoping it’ll go away, and have things get worse.”

There’s a pang in Wayne’s heart. He really is a good kid, isn’t he? “Aw, hell, Ed. If this feels like it’s the right thing for you to do, then I say do it.”

When Eddie finally arrives at your house, the nerves have really kicked in. He understands that this is kind of a gamble, but subtlety has never been his forte. Slinging his acoustic guitar over his back, clutching the grocery bag in one fist and a small bouquet of dyed carnations in the other, he manages to rap lightly on the front door without dropping anything.

Eddie holds his breath as the seconds tick by, heart thumping in his chest.

Finally, the door swings open slowly, revealing your figure and Eddie immediately feels warm, in spite of the cool air that seeps out from the house. You look startled to see him, even more so when your eyes drop down to the flowers in his hand, mouth popping open in surprise.

“Hi,” he greets you nervously. “Uh, I hope it’s okay that I’m here, I-I know I didn’t call you or anything first. But, um, it’s a nice day out, so I thought we could have a picnic?” It comes out like a question. He jostles the grocery bag, and you can hear the contents shift around inside. “If you’re not busy or anything. And these, um, are for you.” He thrusts the flowers forward, palm sweating against their plastic wrapping.

You stand there in silence, not saying or taking anything, just gaping at him. Eddie’s stomach drops. And he’s totally unprepared for what happens next.

Your face crumples, and you burst into tears.

“Oh, Jesus.” Eddie sets everything down onto the ground and lurches forward, arms outstretched to touch you, but he hesitates before making contact, his hands fluttering around your figure uncertainly. “I — sweetheart — what?” he stutters, entirely out of his element. 

“Sorry!” you sob, clapping your hands over your mouth. “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t apologize,” he says automatically, completely bewildered. His hands finally come down to rest on your shoulders, and he leans closer to you, like maybe proximity will cure whatever this is. “Is something wrong?” He winces, and shakes his head. “Sorry, that’s stupid — what’s wrong?”

You sniffle in response, fat tears dripping from the corners of your eyes.

Watching you tremble with emotion breaks his heart, and it’s stronger than his panic at being unexpectedly confronted by a crying woman. “Oh, baby,” he says tenderly, wrapping his arms around you fully and pulling you in close. “Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

“Sorry,” you repeat in a watery voice, slightly muffled by you pressing your face into his shirt. “You’re just…you’re so sweet, Eddie. That’s all.”

“You don’t have to say sorry for crying,” he says, chuckling breathlessly. “Although I was kind of aiming for a smile with all this, not tears.” He pats your back gently, and moves his lips to your ear. “It’s been a while. I was missing you.”

You shudder. “I missed you, too.” You let out a choked laugh, and pull back a little, dabbing at your eyes. You audibly try and swallow the lump in your throat. “This isn’t how I usually greet company, I promise.”

In the small, sunny backyard, Eddie lays out a faded gingham tablecloth onto the grass. It’s tattered at the edges and bears quite a number of stubborn stains, maybe not great for their tiny kitchen anymore, but perfect for an outdoor blanket. While he sets up his little surprise date, doling out food and plates and napkins, he steals glances at you, visible through the kitchen window, where you’re arranging your new flowers in a vase. When you come back outside to join him, he doesn’t miss the way you swipe at your eye one last time, trying to rid yourself of the final remnants of your outburst.

He offers you a soft smile, and pats the spot on the ground next to him.

You sink onto the blanket with a sigh, looking tired but pleased to see him nonetheless. And there’s a trace of something else in your eyes, some unknown emotion that he can’t quite put his finger on. You reach gingerly for the sandwich he packed for you — your favorite, you note right away — but Eddie simply watches, wondering if he has to ask or if he should wait for you to explain.

“So, how’re things?” you ask innocently, and take a small bite.

Eddie raises his eyebrows, but he keeps his tone light. “Well, I’m a little concerned, naturally. We gonna talk about what just happened back there?” 

You chew slowly, stalling. He waits patiently.

“I wasn’t expecting all this,” you finally say, gesturing around at the spread before you. “It’s…it’s really, really nice of you,” your voice breaks again on the last word, but if you’re threatened by another wave of tears, you don’t succumb.

Eddie shrugs modestly, but remains curious. “It’s no big thing. Just wanted to surprise you,” he says, and hesitates before continuing. “I, uh, haven’t heard from you in a while, so I wasn’t sure if…maybe you were upset with me, or something, I dunno. Like, if I did something wrong.”

Abruptly, you fix your gaze on your lap, but not before Eddie sees them widen in alarm.

He peers closer at you. “Were you upset with me?”

Your blanche. “God, I’m such an asshole,” you mumble, throat tightening again.

Eddie’s thoroughly confused now, and he chuckles uncertainly. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m a little lost here. Why are you calling yourself an asshole?” The idea is absurd; it’s hard for him to even fathom.

You wring your hands nervously, unable to make yourself look at him. “Eddie, I — I’m sorry. That I haven’t been reaching out to you lately.” You struggle with what to say, feeling ashamed, but you force yourself to continue. “But…Marissa — from work, y’know? — she…she told me some stuff about you.”

Eddie’s insides turn to ice.

“Stupid, gossipy stuff,” the words come out in a rush now, like you’re desperate to get the truth out and over with, “most of which I didn’t even really believe, anyway, but I guess I couldn’t help feeling…anxious, after it happened? And I didn’t know how to talk to you about it, so I just…didn’t. I’m so sorry.” You take a deep breath and shake your head, frustrated at your own actions. “And then you come here today with an entire picnic, and flowers, and your guitar, and I feel like the biggest jerk on the planet. I can’t believe myself.”

Eddie falls silent for a moment, his dark eyes big and sad. It’s not what he was expecting, though he supposes he should have been anticipating something like this happening eventually. Gossip about him had improved — or affected him less, at least — when he finished school, but there were still whispers about him amongst the townies, he knew.

“What did she tell you?” he asks dully. “That I’m the spawn of Satan?”

A knot twists in your stomach. “Something like that. Of course I know that’s bullshit.”

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek. “Oh, yeah? What did she tell you that was so impressive, then?” When you flinch at his words, he cringes inwardly at his own snarkiness, and reminds himself who he’s talking to.

You scratch at a dark spot on the blanket, fidgeting under his stare. “She — she said that you were involved with someone named Chrissy, and the way she mentioned it really freaked me out.”

Upon hearing her name, Eddie’s eyes bulge with panic. Oh shit, oh shit. Low blow from Marissa. Because unlike the far-fetched devil worship accusations, there’s some substance to that rumor, no matter how convoluted the truth became. He starts to mentally scramble for a way to explain, but you continue on before he can speak.

“I guess I just couldn’t stand the thought of you having another girlfriend,” you admit guiltily. “I didn’t wanna find out, because I didn’t think I could take it, if I knew you were seeing someone else.”

That catches him off guard. “Oh, you —” Eddie fumbles with his words, “you thought that I was…dating her?”

You frown. “Well, yeah. When someone tells you ‘ask him about so-and-so’ in that kind of tone, that’s generally what comes to mind.”

Eddie blinks, then groans, and flings himself back on the blanket. He drapes one arm over his eyes, hiding the world from view. He heaves a great sigh. “Nothing like that ever happened between Chrissy and I,” he says quietly. “Never dated, never hooked up. Never even so much as kissed.”

“Oh.” You process this, wondering at her significance. “Who is she, then?”

“Just a girl in town,” he mutters. “We went to high school together.” He sighs resignedly again, and pulls his arm up, just enough so he can peek at you. “Listen, Wayne and I, we don’t have a whole lot to our names. In case that wasn’t obvious.” He snorts humorlessly. “I…used to deal, for a bit of extra cash. Help out with the rent and stuff. Did Marissa tell you that, too?”

“She did,” you affirm. “But Eddie, I don’t care about that either, I swear.”

He moves on without acknowledging your remark. “Chrissy was a cheerleader. Queen of Hawkins High, basically. And she was looking to buy one day, so we met up after school. I was just gonna sell her some pot, but she asked me if I had anything, ah, stronger.” He wets his lips with his tongue. “I didn’t usually sell harder shit to other students, but I had some Special K laying around, for my own…personal use.” He doesn’t dare look up again to see your reaction to this tidbit. “And I sold it to her…and then she disappeared.”

You stare at him. “She…disappeared?”

Eddie sits back up and nods, face hardening. “For a few days, anyway. Ran away. Her family’s got a good name, and a lot of money, but that doesn’t always make for a good home life, y’know? I don’t know what was going on with her, exactly, but she wasn’t okay. And when she skipped town, everyone pointed their fingers at me.”

He doesn’t need to elaborate; the implication is clear. Still, you ask, “What, they thought that you…did something to her?”

“Yeah,” he deadpans, staring off into the distance. “All but brought out the pitchforks and torches.”

Indignance on his behalf hits you like a truck. “Teenagers run away all the time!”

Eddie rubs his face in distress. “Yeah, they do, but when Hawkins’ golden girl is last seen entering the town freak’s trailer to buy ketamine, people tend to jump to conclusions.”

A wave of sadness washes over you, as you try to picture it in your head: they truly believed that sweet, doting Eddie was capable of hurting a young girl like that? 

Eddie, who played fantasy games with kids six years his junior simply because they asked him to, and fed the strays in the trailer park, and spent many a Sunday making banana bread with his uncle? Who he chose to live with instead of moving out, because he loved him and wanted to be close in case he needed him? Was it even possible, for people to be so blind?

The very thought of it makes you sick. “That’s horrible….”

“S’okay,” he mumbles. “She came back home eventually. A little worse for wear, I heard, but she was fine. Told everyone that I had nothing to do with her leaving, or whatever happened while she was gone. But,” he shrugs, “people will believe what they wanna believe. The Munson reputation precedes me.”

You reach for his warm hand, and clasp it in yours, savoring the feel of his calloused palm against your own.

He casts you a desperate glance. “I swear I never did anything to her,” he whispers. 

Your chest aches for him, and you squeeze his hand. “Of course you didn’t.”

His breathing hitches. “I guess it’s obvious,” he says, voice trembling slightly, “that there’s a lot of stuff I haven’t, um, told you about yet. And to be honest, I don’t think I’m ready to tell you all of it right now, either. But I will, someday.”

There it is. The notion that Eddie wants to be in your life long-term, and that he wants you to be in his, finally spoken.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to,” you reassure him quietly. “It won’t change how I feel about you, anyway. I think you’re really wonderful. I-I like you so much, Eddie.”

A silence falls over the two of you. Eddie watches the bumblebees fly lazily over the white clover dotting the lawn. You try to think of something else to say, something you can tell him that’ll make the pain go away, erase the hurt that this town has caused him. You suspect that this incident with Chrissy is just the tip of the iceberg that is Eddie’s trauma — for how long was he treated like this by those around him, and how harshly?

Before you can come up with the right words to soothe him, Eddie speaks again, his voice a little stronger. “So you, uh…heard that I was a drug-dealing cult leader, but got upset because you thought I was seeing someone else?”

At last, some brevity. You make eye contact across the blanket, and you’re relieved to see the corners of his lips have turned up into a tiny smile.

Heat blooms in your cheeks as you nod. “I did, yeah.”

He attempts husky laugh, though he still looks weary. “Damn. You got it bad, huh?”

You shrug. “What can I say? You’re a catch, Munson. I don’t think I feel like sharing.”

He hums softly, and he relaxes a little, body sagging as he finally releases some of the tension he’s been holding onto all this time. “Sorry for snapping at you,” he offers needlessly, biting at his thumbnail.

You dismiss it immediately. “Don’t apologize —”

“Nah, I get it. Hell, I wouldn’t blame you if the cult rumors or the dealing really did bother you, even. I mean, that’s some pretty jarring intel to hear from your boss about the guy you’re dating. They’re not really things people tend to look for in a partner.”

You shake your head. “I should’ve talked to you about it as soon as it happened. But it just felt so…crass to come right out and start interrogating you.” You scoot closer to him on the blanket. “You have to believe me, Eddie, I don’t care about what anyone else has to say. I feel like I know you,” you pause, and reach out with your free hand to cup his cheek, “even if I’m a little fuzzy on the details right now.”

He sucks in a quick breath, closing his eyes, and rests his face against your palm. “I have to warn you,” he says, “that if we’re together, and people know about it, then this might not be the last time someone tries to talk to you about me. And I’m asking you to — to trust that I’m not what they say I am.”

“I do,” you promise. “I trust you.”

You lean in and press a soft, quick kiss to his lips. He rests his forehead against yours, and chuckles weakly. Although the reassurance was needed, he’s feeling all too vulnerable for his liking, so he changes the subject. “You know, while we’re hashing things out here, can I ask you an unrelated question?”

You smile indulgently. “Shoot.”

“So, I guess we know now that this wasn’t really why, but Wayne told me that the reason you weren’t talking to me is because I’m up your ass all the time, and that I need to give you more space. That’s why I didn’t come sooner. I know I kind of smother you, and I was worried that maybe, maybe you needed a break from me, or something?”

Rubbing your thumb against his cheekbone, you whisper, “Oh, gosh no. You’re like…my favorite person, Eddie.” You nod shyly, as though affirming it to yourself for the first time. “Yeah. You’re the person I want to be around the most, um, at any given moment.”

Eddie blushes, and something inside of him shifts at those words, making him feel impossibly soft. “Me too,” he returns.

Your turn. “And I have a question for you, too.”

“Shoot,” he echoes.

“Were you gonna play me something on that?” You gesture to his guitar, forgotten on the grass behind him. 

Eddie lets out another laugh, the most carefree one he’s uttered today. “I was. Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s hard for me to imagine you playing acoustic music. I’m intrigued.”

Eddie grasps the neck of the guitar with one hand, and drags the instrument into his lap, situating himself into a playing position. “You’d be shocked, sweetheart. I can make just about anything sound metal.”

Your eyes sparkle wickedly. “Are you gonna play me some Joni Mitchell?”

Eddie purses his lips. “No, I was thinking KISS. It, uh, translates pretty well, actually.”

You cross your legs on the blanket, rest your elbow on your knee and tuck your hand under your chin — giving him your full attention.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Let’s hear it!”

thank you for reading!! <3

taglist: @eddiesgirlforever @eds6ngel @sheisahauntedhouse @lokis-tardis-companion19 @teary-eyed-egg @whenshelanded @nanaminswhore @witchwolflea @destinationwanderlust @kores-mun-son-n-more @clairesjointshurt @fishwithtitz @wickedscorpio22 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @lexr86 @cultish-corner

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson x reader series #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x bookworm!reader #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson fluff

[pspaura27-blog]

Uncle Sukuna!

Feat. Teacher!

After his graduation, Yaga asks if he wants to be a teacher, citing that he is strong and all, but Yaga actually prays that Sukuna will get a bratty student so he can suffer, too.

Sukuna doesn’t want to live in Sendai, Jin’s PDA with the damn woman and all, so he agrees.

Then, he meets his Karma, the triple S: Satoru, Suguru, Shoko. Urgh.

He is late 3 minutes to the first homeroom class and Gojo breaks the window in a damn fight with Geto.

“Now, who the fuck did that?!”

“Sensei, I—”

“Fuck, you know what? I don’t give a shit, go run laps, all of you brats!”

Gojo Satoru is very bratty, confident in his own strength, and he likes to flip Sukuna off. So, the two duel it out in the training ground.

Sukuna is old and he also wins(?) in canon, so he knocks Satoru to the ground and mocks him.

“Ha! So this is all the Six Eyes holder can do, huh? I guess you are fucking overrated, brat. Now, get your ass up and go do the fucking report!”

He regrets it later when Satoru wouldn’t leave him alone, determined to win against him one way or another.

Satoru seems like the type to knock his room at 3 in the morning for a round.

And he has to clean up after their mess.

The Star Plasma in particular. Sukuna knows it. Geto Suguru is as fucking reckless as his buddy, that’s a fucking apartment he blows up! And who deals with paperworks and those fucking elders? Him!

[[Sensei, it wasn’t me—]]

[[I’ll chop you into damn pieces, brat! Better be prepare for an F!]]

God, does this mean he fight with Toji?!

Sukuna is waiting at the gate for his students to return with Riko. Then, he lets Gojo get stabbed because—

“You didn’t see that, huh? That’s pathetic. You better train harder if you wanna call yourself the strongest.” Sukuna scoffs and throws him to Geto. “Get out of my way, brat.”

“…” Riko thinks she knows where Gojo gets his attitude from!

After wrecking buildings, Sukuna wins and gets Megumi..?

He feels his veins throb, does he look like a charity person or something? Hello, he even has a face tattoo! Take care of your own damn brat because he will not do that!

Probably heals Toji so he doesn’t have to take Megumi.

“Our teacher might look like that but he is a softie.” Suguru smiles softly. “When he told us about this mission, he said that—”

“Do it, brats, if you’re so weak that you need another brat to protect you. I dare you!”

“And the elders—”

“I don’t take order from those weaker than me.”

“Oh, I didn’t— expect that.”

Suguru hums. “He likes kids, actually.”

Sukuna goes to visit his bratty nephew that month. Yuuji is 3 but he runs to tackle his leg like a little octopus.

“Un-cal Kuna!” Yuuji squeals. “Whoa, me misses you s’a lot! Kuna, you bwing me owange candies?”

“Are you missing me or candies, brat?”

He grumbles but still pulls out a bag of orange candies for his toddler nephew. He doesn’t spoil the brat. He just doesn’t want to listen to him complaining.

“Oh, dear, how are you here?” Kaori walks out to greet him with a surprised smile. “I thought our elders fried you alive by now. It was Master Tengen after all.”

“Like those wrinkle bastard can do anything to me.”

That star brat is, like, 10 years older than Yuuji. Deep down, he thinks it’s just wrong, it could have been Yuuji, but he will never admit it.

Yuuji chews on his candy, mumbling a new word under his breath. “Bash-tard.”

“Don’t repeat that, brat!”

#jjk #jjk 257 #sukuna #uncle sukuna #yuji itadori

[mykoreanlove]

pillow talk

“Taemin, you missed a step.” “Taemin, you are off beat.” “Taemin, did you forget your own lyrics?” “Taemin, where is your head at?”

Angry eyes watched him mess up again, for the hundredth time this evening. The ace of kpop was far from being a rookie but tonight he was far from being professional either. He couldn’t concentrate, messing up all the steps and forgetting his own lines. Frustrated, he run his fingers through his dark hair and sighed out in annoyance. “Where is my head at”, he mumbled absentmindedly…

“Have you told your friends about me?”, you whispered into his chest. Taemin’s breathing paused for a split second which you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t already delicately wrapped around his lean body. His hands caressed your naked figure while his puffy lips were busy pampering you with sweet kisses. “Certainly”, he replied. “What did you say?” “I told them I met someone, unexpectedly. I told them how I met a woman that has taken my breath away.” He paused for a brief moment, triggering the impatience brooding within you. “That’s it?”, you asked offended. He chuckled sweetly before continuing. “They asked me about you, what you were like. And I told them that you were beyond beautiful. Incredibly sexy. Cute as honey. Horny as the devil. Very, very smart. Emotional. Full of passion and desire. Empathetic - always caring and observing. Funny, oh my god so funny, making me laugh all the time. Interesting, seeing a lot of things differently than I do. Basically, I mentioned every positive attribute I could think of.” Taemin didn’t notice the gigantic smile that formed on his lips as he recalled gushing over you. You didn’t see it either, but you felt it, it was impossible not to. “And then they asked me what was going on between us, like if we had a future?” Now you were the one forgetting to breathe – did he catch that? “And I told them that my life is quite chaotic at the moment and that I need to figure out a lot of stuff. I explained to them that I want to concentrate and focus on me, primarily, but this is getting harder and harder to do. I told them that my mind always wanders back to you, thinks about you and misses you. I keep finding myself neglecting my goals to rather be with you…” His voice was filled with serenity, yet you could sense the anxiety in him. “I love spending time with you, getting to know you. The way you think, the things that move you, the things that scare you and make you sad. I want to understand everything about you. And that sometimes scares me.” There it was, the fear that was eating him from the inside. “What does that mean then?”, you asked cautiously.

“Ideally, I’d resist you and move on. I’d memorize your beautiful eyes and luscious lips as a sensuous adventure that I would never forget. But I can’t. Not with you, y/n.” Taemin’s fingers landed on your chin and tilted it up, he was directly staring into your soul now. “I will let you use me.” “Use you?” “Isn’t this what this is?” You gulped, feeling utterly exposed. “Is that why you only told them all the positive aspects about me?” Taemin nodded while placing another kiss on your swollen lips. “I know you’re bad for me. But I can’t help myself. You love me the sweetest only to push a cruel blade into my flesh.” His eyes were glistening, shining almost as bright as the full moon outside. Taemin spoke slowly, putting a lot of emphasis on every single word. “Soothing. Loving. Hurting. Over and over again.” His voice got even deeper, barely audible as he whispered his heart out to you. “And you let me, y/n. Why do you? I come back every time, like a brainwashed puppy. Does that turn you on? Is that your definition of love? Taemin took your hand into his and placed chest kisses on your knuckles before laughing manically. “Because I think it’s mine.”

#mykoreanlove #taemin fanfic #shinee taemin #taemin imagine #taemin oneshot #taemin angst #lee taemin smut #taemin smut #taemin scenario #taemin shinee #taemin drabble #taemin fluff #taemin x y/n #taemin x you #taemin x reader #taemin boyfriend #shinee angst #shinee smut #shinee x reader #shinee fic #shinee scenarios #shinee fanfic #shinee fluff #taemin edits #shinee requests #shinee reactions

[claire-starsword]

you've heard of "this series has inconsistent designs between the art and in game sprites", now get ready for "this series can even get the writer and illustrator of *a single book* to understand each other

#bloodline of the sacred dragons #sf karin #wondering if there''ll be some reason for it #because right now the idea that suezen just ignored a whole description to draw a blue eyed blonde is like #bad #and it does mess me up that i have to see this woman with a bow and arrows #like bestie this is shining force. everyone's supposed to be posing for a manual here

[time-like-tears-in-rain]

god i relate so hard to martha rewatching her episodes is fucking rough.

#i too got fucked up over a skinny bland white boy in a nice coat while #trying to get my career started #and was dragged backwards and into all of his shit #and figured oh god if i fuck this up he's gonna die #he's gonna kill himself #i'm never getting a relationship with him but i can't leave and also i kinda like it here #and my parents violently hate each other if i'm not here for one of my siblings than no one is #and my other sibling is a bit of a mess so i have to be the good child the smart successful child and my career has to come first #but i just want for fucking once to have a fling with adventure #a fling with whimsy i'm so desperate for it #and i'm stuck between my parents and yeah i also hate my dad's new woman but i literally cannot change shit #and this guy is saying hey lets go do something fun and stupid that does nothing but eat time #and i'm like sure!!!! #even though he's fun around other friends he's quiet and withdrawn with me and dumping on me about another woman #and it's like..... #I'T S LIKE...... #just me and my leather jacket against the world #yeah rose is my favorite and you'd think that my favorite would be clara bc she was the evil one #and i relate to donna's listlessness and perceived ineptitude when she just needs her fuckin adhd diagnosis and to get away from her mother #but god. i hate seeing the fandom #belittle the heartbreak part of martha's story because you don't get it #she thought she loved him and even though it started as just liking him AS SHE FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS UNATTAINABLE SLOWLY OVER TIME SHE WAS #ALSO FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM SLOWLY OVER TIME. #i get it i get it i loved it and it fucking SUCKED. #annie irl

[pineapple-lover-boy]

I swear Bryce is just so incredibly beautiful. Often times I don’t have crushes on characters played by real people but she is it.

And I’m not saying this cause she’s played by a man and I have shown a love for feminine men on this blog.

Brandon plays his characters so well that I legitimately see her, Cathy, and Helen as women. All his characters share the same type of comedy and sometimes do or say similar things (first thing that comes to mind is a lot of his characters say “Well… shit” and runs when bested in some kind of way) but all of his characters have different personalities.

And now that he’s doing backstories for his characters, it only adds more to each of them.

What he does is a work of art and my favorite piece is the badass former CEO, Madame Ex-President, Bryce Tankthrust.

#as much as I love her side stories in all of the series #I really want her to get her own with Bobby #she usually takes the spotlight and so having her as a mc could be a bit much if not handled well #but I doubt Brandon would mess up #we got depth in Sam & Stuff #we already got her backstory in Blame: The Hero #we’re seeing how far her feelings can go when she truly loves someone in Normal British Series #pulling a ‘bad guy turns good’ for a series ending wouldn’t work for her #it would go against everything she does and is for plus we already know she has a heart (pun intended) #seeing how low she is willing to go for Bobby is making me wonder if I’m a series of her own #she’ll get torn so down that she’s basically the everyday person but with a terror!st for a boyfriend #and she fully realizes that while she’s still bad being poor or even middle class isn’t the end of the world #idk if you’ve gotten this far what do you think? #I’m absolutely in love with that horrible bloodlusting powerful woman and I will never stop talking about her #brandon rogers #bryce tankthrust #bobby worst

[floralovebot]

I talk a lot about how different fanon!Helia is from canon!Helia but not enough but how bad it is for all the characters.

Like you have Riven going from this insecure teenage boy who lashes out at anyone who challenges him to this suave bad boy who could kill the winx. People seeing Stella as a stuck up brat, thinking that she loves Bloom more than the other winx, or that she would ever choose to be selfish in ways that hurt the other characters. Or Flora going from this fairly confident young girl who loves to meet new people and hangout with others to an introverted shy mess who never speaks up and would never say something sarcastic. Not to sound like a bitch but I really do think it's time the fandom stops pretending we're better than other fandoms and don't have Fanon Versions because we do and it's messing with y'alls perception of canon so fucking bad

#theres a time and place for fanon and its not pretending that fanon IS canon #and like listen #there's a big difference between having headcanons and fanonizing a character so badly that theyre basically a different character #im not saying its Bad to have headcanons or to disagree with canon #everyone does that its normal and healthy for fandoms #that sounded SO online good god #but also recognizing that your headcanons are Just headcanons is also necessary? #and recognizing that sometimes headcanons have been disproven by canon or aren't backed up at all #and not acting like your fanon version Is canon or is better than canon? #like genuinely think some of you dont even like canon winx and you just like the fanon versions of them in your head #like no sorry but flora isnt the fumbling shy mess who can't even speak to the others #stella isnt the dumb selfish princess who can't fight and wouldn't protect her friends #aisha isn't the Super Independent Woman who hates all men (also a very racist trope) #musa isnt that I Hate Everyone bitch who would dropkick the winx and physically abuse riven #i could go on and on like im sorry but the fanon versions of them are So Bad rn its so weird to me #like... fanon has always existed but i dont think its ever been this bad? usually Extreme Fanon only happened when someone hated a characte #like people usually only mischaracterize them when they Hate them but now im seeing people who Love them do it #i dont understand what happened why has fanon gotten so bad recently?? #also Im Sorry if any of this sounds targeted or extra bitchy i promise im not talking about anyone specific and im not Trying to be mean #i just really hate going into a character tag and seeing post after post of people going 'riven would kill sky if he got the chance' #and i dont mean the clearly joke posts i mean the Very Genuine Headcanon posts like what the FUCK are you people talking about #i genuinely think some of you got your degrees from the fanon university instead of the canon uni #please rewatch the entire first three seasons at your earliest convenience or your degree will be revoked #ajhdglagd #like not to sound mean but i think there was an influx of people who only vaguely remembered the show and got the rest of their info #from random tumblr posts instead of yknow. the actual show #oh i am very complainy today time to do something more productive and less chronically online

[qqueenofhades]

Lord, do I resent being forced to put up with this nonsense for some very part-time barista work so I can barely pay most of my bills. Jesus.

#hilary for ts #personal #vent post #my boss is younger than me #has never lived anywhere other than this tiny rural town or done anything else #she is nice but also a TOTAL flake #constantly forgets or is late paying me #i reminded her yesterday it was due. she said she couldn’t find my hours. i found them in two seconds. she promised to leave a check #surprise surprise got here this morning! no check! she has again promised to bring it by later #we will see #she forgets or doesn't order or messes orders up so we are always out of something #pretty sure she has some kind of weird stalker guy or other nuisance person that she has not told me about #other than not to let him in if he shows up! helpful. #so she changed the locks last week and forgot to tell me or give me a key until i had arrived for work yesterday #her boyfriend is an ex con with five kids #how does this woman have so much drama in her life #we live in a town of 600 people 100 miles from anywhere #ugh i am so frustrated #this is a barely over minimum wage coffee shop job! #which i can't quit because otherwise i really am screwed! #the lord is testing me etc but also for the love of fuck someone give me an actual job #okay rant over #in conclusion 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[donewiththisshitplsstop]

Hey MV fans, we'd probably like you much better if you actually held your guy accountable, didn't constantly make excuses for him, and stopped calling out other drivers mistakes as a means to defend your driver. Also, the calling other drivers mentally weak just ain't it. The reason those drivers can go into their car in front of their family and friends despite knowing death can be right around the corner (literally) is because they're all so mentally strong, including Max. So stop discrediting someone's mental fortitude to big up your driver, because ironically enough, I'm pretty sure Max respects his colleagues enough to recognise their mental strength. I don't understand why you guys can't do the same, it won't kill you to respect the fact that all 20 members of that grid plus all the other men and women in motorsports are incredibly strong people, both mentally and physically.

#f1 #anti verstappen i guess #even tho its lowkey anti verstappen fans who enable his behaviour by not holding him accountable so he can't grow as a person #all people mess up (ive said this before) theyll only ever change if someone tells them #or actually punishes them properly for a brake check #because when you have newey calling it a silly mistake and then christian is excusing it and helmuts denying it #then we already have a guy who thinks well i cant be wrong bcs the people close to me arent telling me that im messing up #and all these people who are calling me out are just haters #and look the fia just validated all these opinions by only giving me 10 secs instead of disqualification #and when you look at it like that its easy to see why max does what he does #but yall fans of his should wanna see him grow as a person (which he is deffo capable of) so dont just enable his behavio #also for the love of god stop defending the people associated with max because u think hate on them is hate on max #take a step back and realise that ur fully defending a child/woman abuser

[mrfoox]

Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...

#miranda talking shit #Uuuh i was kinda rightfully anxious? I told him about how i am a little freak and i basically am down to date 90% of my friends #But i got told by Oliver that it could be i act that way bc i dont want to be abandoned/left so im willing to compromise however they want #Me to... So talked about that with him and yep. We finally got into the whole... 'what are we' business. Or well kinda not directly #He said he didn't want to bring it up but we basically are on the subject so... And how hes worried that i will think too much about him #'i worry the more time we spend together the more your life will revolve around me and you'll value me so much more than i do you' #'it doesnt seem fair to you so ive occasionally not talked with you because i worry about that. You're a great friend but I know how much #You think about people. And im worried if you think about me too much you'll develop feelings or I'll mean more to you than before' i... He #Isnt wrong? Thats kinda how i work. The more people prioritize me the more ill value them and cherish them? But also... Idk if he understod #That i dont actively think about kissing or dating my friends? Its just a thing i know that if anyone asked I'd be down for it. But i dont #Daydream about it or anything. But then again he said some cryptic fabian shit like 'i dont have anyone else to compare with so i assume #What we have is normal. I sometimes want to cross the line to see where i still stand with you after doing it' like bro... Im so sorry i am #I am so far from 'normal' and him having me as his biggest both friend and female/woman in his life is probably such a mess i am crying #Me: ok then cross the line and see how you feel. 'but thats the problem. You dont have a line you're so open and down with everything you #Dont really react badly' I know i... Probably am making things hard for him sometimes but this was an holy shit moment /: hes worried to #Spend too much time with me bc of how i can potentially feel? Meanwhile I'm basically 80%+ of all his social interactions 😭 at one hand i #Appreciate him thinking of me and worry i guess but... Yeah. I told him: listen Fabian. My life does not revolve around you and youre not #The only one i think about. You are safe.' his and mine relationship is my favorite but also i definitely worry bc i know how much what we #Have or talk about or act is his... Only reference for girls basically. I mean outside his mom. He's not had any other girl friends and no #Actual girlfriend. So his reference to whats... Okay and appropriate is basically dictated by me and im seeing that very clear now im kinda #Afraid. Like... Im not normal on any level. If he's basing his view on women on me hes going to have an awful time truly... Idk if i should #Be offended or flattered that he thinks he's the center of my world 😭 like hes not completely wrong. I talk with him multiple times per #Week. But i can also say hes not all i think about at all waking hours lol. I obviously love him and care so much about him but im not #In love with him. Not as far as i know anyway. I dont think of him how i do people i have crushes on for example so yeaah. It bothers me #More that he couldn't just say 'im not into you' bc thats fine. He added the whole element of 'im not sure' like buddy now im going to be #Anxious about that in the future. I guess he have no reference to crushes so he cant tell but like... How do you want me to act so you can #Tell? I want an solid answer putting in an maybe is cruel even to me. This is funny bc tbh i dont even know if i would be able to date him #Even if he said he wanted to. Bc i know his biggest wish is to be a dad and i have nog fully embraced that idea even /: 'i can feel how ego #Centered i am. Assuming im the center of your world like that' at least youre self aware sweetie. Sounded like he was at peace with all we #Said and im here like... Binch there's so much to think about i wish i could read your mind i need more information to understand all this

[theweirdhybrid]

Oh, my favorite One Piece character? Sanji! Unless he opens his mouth. Then my favorite is Ace.

#i love sanji in THEORY #and then whenever he's on screen he goes “OH NAMI-SWAAAAAAAN” in that really annoying voice and i immediately want to punt him #i know how zoro feels now #watching the anime did irreparable damage to my love for sanji #my eye twitches preemptively whenever i see him now #i'm like zoro in that i can't stand sanji but i would also fight to the death if it meant he lived #not even romantically just like in general. also like zoro #but it's gotten so bad that my dad's taken to speaking in sanji's annoying 'love mode' tone of voice just to piss me off #he's a great character! i just wish he'd stop talking #i specifically wish he'd stop the love mode thing whenever a woman breathes #but i'd also physically recoil if he ever actually stopped like WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BOY #actually oda could totally use that if sanji really DOES lose his emotions #but yeah sanji's my favorite. but my favorite is also ace. i live in a cruel world #bc one is a borderline womanizer and the other is fucking dead #anyways i'm gonna shut up now if you read all this i am a blubbering mess on the floor

[ridingthatd]

○o｡ MASTER TOJI

○o｡ tojixfem!reader, nsfw, heavy smut, master toji, toji is kinky, possessive toji, old days toji, filthy toji

toji fushiguro. toji fushiguro was a known master, a master who's job was to go after wanted man-woman whether they're bad or not, his mission was to kill them brutally and get their head to whoever paid him to kill them- their head as a proof, a proof of what he's capable of doing.

toji is known for his cold and calculating personality, which makes him intimidating- he does not hesitate to use his immense strength and powerful cursed techniques to defeat his enemies.

but then there's you- you who has him in your gentle little hands, your soft hands that always try to release the knots on his back- but always fail because of how small they are, compared to his muscular board back.

toji adored you- adored everything about you, from your long crazy curls, to your plumpy thick thighs that he always love to leave his marks on. you drived him to break a line he never thought he would break, he was a jealous- possessive man with you, he wants to be the air you breath everyday, he wants to be the only reason why you smile, the only person who can see it, who can hear your sweet giggles- your hideous laugh that he would die for,

he was such a jealous man, he wants you all for himself, he doesn't want anyone to be part of why you're happy other then him- toji knows and he's aware of how mentally deranged that is but it was very much how he truly felt.

he such a possessive man, that he wouldn't let you pleasure yourself- he doesn't want the sweet honey that comes out of your cunt go to waste, he only wants you to cum on his huge cock or his tongue, squirt on his face as you stroke your wet cunt on his nose- ridding it as he licks-coat your pinkish asshole with his spit.

it even got to the point where he made you a dildo to the exact shape of his cock, so you can pleasure yourself with it while he's gone to a long mission- he would always use it to stretch your ass to, while he pounds inside of your cunt, making you pass out from being to stuffed in both of your holes by his cock.

it's been a whole two weeks since toji last saw you, and it got him into a bad temper- a really bad one- he only could receive letters from you, telling him how much you missed him and your sweet cunt needed your master.

today was the worst day so far for him- and it's like you knew that, because as soon as he made to the cabin he was staying in, he received a letter from you, and it was heavier then usual like it contains something- toji frowns confused on what would his sweet angel send him.

his cock harden poking out his kimono, eyes dark as he clenchs your red wet panties, he looked at what you wrote in the letter and he shudders, wave of pleasure hitting his body, making his thighs shake and his balls to release his seeds, cumming- cumming untouched.

~ dear master.

I know that you have been having a really hard time so I decided maybe I should send a little gift of mine, sorry for the mess on the panties, I couldn't help but squirt on them as I imagine you being here with me while I fuck my ass with the huge dildo of yours.

from your dear y/n. ~

"little fucking slut" he groans out as he grabs the wet panties to his tongue and suck-lick on your sweet cum as he free his leaking cock stroking it hard- tugging on it fast.

his cabin was filled with his pathetic moans- his mind is blank, drugged on the taste and smell of your panties- he was filthy for you, so filthy that he places your panties on top of his cock- stroking his cock with it, using your left wetness as a lube, he can't help but jerk his hips up- to lost in pleasure as he spills his hot seeds in your panties, moaning out your name.

he lays on his bed- this was the best orgasm he had in those last two weeks, he looks at your ruined panties and slowly smirk at the idea he had in mind.

you stare at tojis letter and the suprise he left you- eyes widen as you take a look at the red panties you sent him- not even red anymore it was filled with his cum, clearly showing you a sign that he very much enjoyed your gift.

~ dear y/n.

my love, I was very pleased with your little gift, I expect you to be spread wide open as I make my way to our house tomorrows afternoon, don't forget to plug your sweet ass with the dildo. enjoy my suprise.

from master toji fushiguro. ~

toji came as he promised, as he makes his way toward the door of the bedroom, hands placed inside of his kimono- while his cock was raging hard more than ready to breed his little filthy slut.

and here he finds you- on the bed spread wide open, your poor little cunt was wet and drenched with your sweet honey, twitching- clenching around nothing craving the cock of her master-

you clearly came from having his cock dildo shoved fully up your little hole as he told you. such a good girl.

"my poor little baby did you cum from having this pathetic of a dildo up your little ass?" he coo at you as he strokes your curls out of your face- your fucked out face, you had been waiting for him for awhile now.

and his cock has also been aching for you for awhile now.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ end ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ

#toji smut #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro #toji fushigro x reader #jjk toji #sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso x reader #choso smut #jjk choso #choso kamo #choso #itadori x reader #itadori yuji x reader #itadori smut #itadori yuji #jjk itadori #gojo smut #gojo x reader #nanami x reader

[alyakthedorklord]

Batman the Playboy

Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.

The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.

Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“

Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”

Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”

Green Arrow: (offended noises)

Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”

Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”

However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)

So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”

Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”

———

Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.

GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”

Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”

Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”

Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”

GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”

Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.

Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”

Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”

Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”

Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”

Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”

Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️

“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”

Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!

The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.

And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.

(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)

Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.

#a few months later GL brings it up #like ‘ha ha remember funny joke’ #batman: ‘…joke?’ #justice league #😳 #yes joke #autistic batman #batman #brucie wayne #justice leauge shennanigans #batman the playboy

[enha-cafe]

I <3 NERDS (c.s)

PAIRING: nerd! soobin x afab! reader SUMMARY: just y/n not expecting nerd! soobin to be a sex god inspired by this very long thought with @gyuthmics WARNINGS: smut, basically no plot, afab! reader, switch! reader, dom! soobin, big dick! soobin, oral (m rec.), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie (please it's soobin i can't not include it), usage of the words "slut", "baby", "good girl", snowballing, literally like one spank WORD COUNT: 1.7k

you thought playing around with the cute little nerd in your class would be funny. he was absolutely harmless, you thought, blushing whenever you made eye contact with him and always watching anime in the back of class. all you wanted was to make him your partner for the project and watch him get flustered at every moment. so now you're left wondering: is this really happening? are you really getting the best dick of your life from some guy who has openly said his favorite anime is bunny girl senpai? how did he manage to have you crying and screaming his name?

you remember how his cheeks and ears reddened when you invited him over to your place to "work on the project," when you just wanted to see how long it'd take before he'd beg for your pussy.

oh, how you've missed having someone to play with. you wore a low-cut tank and shorts, leaving little to the imagination. gently patting the spot on your bed, inviting him to sit beside you. relishing the way he stutters each time he looks to talk to you. constantly looking up at him with doe eyes, brushing your shoulder against his, and pushing your breasts into his arms. how badly you're just waiting for him to snap. look at you through those overgrown bangs and grovel for you to give him a sweet release.

he did break, just not in the way you were hoping.

it was a swift motion, with soobin taking you by the wrists and pinning you down. "well, someone is acting like a little slut today." never would you have thought this absolute nerd would have you at such a loss for words. those words make you have to take a pause and leave your mouth slightly agape. "what's wrong? cat got your tongue?" he says this, cocking his head to the side and chuckling.

you're completely lost as to who the man in front of you is; this isn't the nerd you were toying with all day. this is some sort of demon you decided to summon. "c'mon, baby, use your words. i know you want this; you've been messing with me all day. don't back out now." he says, staring into your eyes, and all you can do is let out a broken please. "that's what i like to hear," he says right before planting a kiss on your lips.

you're needy for him, and soobin can't help but chuckle. the way you try to grind down on his knee between your legs, he thinks it's cute how you're slowly becoming putty in his hands. he wants to—no, he needs to ruin you. he's having to hold himself back, and you can tell. for now, he's content with just the taste of you. moving his lips from yours to your neck, you can't help but let out a moan and squirm more. "you're absolutely insatiable; tell me what you want." you're not sure how, but he's already managed to make your head dizzy. "i need you—i need you inside me, please, soobin." you can feel him smile into your neck as you plead. "of course, baby, but i need something from you first." he says letting your wrists free and using his other hand to unbutton his jeans. "get on your knees and suck my cock like the slut you are."

you feel like a woman possessed by how quickly you get on your knees for him. staring up at him in anticipation and hoping he won't notice as you rub your thighs together. when he pulls his pants down, it almost hits you in the face, and you can't help but stare. he's huge. "soobin, you're going to break me." he nearly throws his head back and laughs, "i thought sluts like you were supposed to like big cocks. c'mon, don't be shy now. suck." his order sends a jolt of electricity down to your core.

opening your mouth, you try to take as much of him as possible, and what you can't, you wrap your hands around. bobbing your head up and down his cock, your eyes never leave him. the way his breathing becomes gradually more labored as he groans. his eyes are hungry as he looks at you. "good girl, i knew you could take me," he tells you, and you can feel your walls clench around nothing, and you can't help but moan around him. it's enough to make him curse and grab the back of your head. you can feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as he pushes your head down. feeling his head hit the back of your throat and his cock twitch. you barely have a second before you feel hot cum spill down your throat.

soobin pulls you off his cock and places a hand under your chin. forcing you to stare up at him through those thick-rimmed glasses and overgrown fringe. he pulls you up to him and forces his lips on yours. swapping his cum between you before you finally decide to swallow it. "you're nasty," he says before giving you a light spank, making you let out a yelp. he grabs you by the hand and guides you back to the bed.

his eyes are blown with lust, and suddenly your clothes feel too hot for your skin. you're telling him to pull off your shorts as you tear your top off, and you're left in only your underwear. soobin is quick to start marking and playing with your breasts, telling you how perfect they are. feeling his right hand on your clothed core, you can't help but grind against it. he notices the way you grind on his hand and moves your panties to the side. watching how drenched you are, he decides to dip two of his long fingers inside you, and it has you reeling. 

feeling his fingers inside your gummy walls is enough to have you screaming for him. he reaches places your pathetic fingers could never reach. he's so mean and fast with them too; the noises made by them are so lewd, you'd be embarrassed if you weren't enjoying it so much. you think you can't get enough of his fingers until he uses his thumb to circle your clit. the stimulation is so great that he has you chanting his name. his name is dripping like honey from your lips as you try your hardest not to cum. soobin knows you're close; how couldn't he? with your walls fluttering against his fingers and your thighs trembling. "it's okay, baby, you can let go for me," and it's almost as though that was the final piece of a puzzle. you're suddenly seeing stars, and your walls are convulsing around him as you cum.

"is that all you can take, or do you want more?" he asks you as if he doesn't already know your answer. without a second thought, you're screaming once more for him, "please, soobin, i need you inside of me—going insane—need your big cock inside me." you're so needy and desperate for him, it's borderline pathetic. "okay, let me just grab a condom," he says, going to get up, but you grab his arm, pulling him back in to stop him. "no, i need you raw." such a simple sentence, but it's enough to make his cock twitch. "you really are insatiable," and his lips dive back into yours.

as you kiss, you can feel him lining himself up with you, his large cockhead teasing your opening. moaning into the kiss and telling him to put it in already, only making him smile against your lips. when he slips into you, you swear you see heaven. the stretch like nothing you've ever felt before; he's so big, and he's already hitting you so deep. when he bottoms out, you're already grinding against him, begging him to move. soobin is more than happy to oblige, digging his fingers into your hips and slowly pulling out of you, only to ram back in.

you think he'd be rough with just that one thrust, but he continues to be hard and fast. as he thrusts his cock inside of you, you can't help but stare. he makes your head fuzzy, and all you can do is lay there and moan. feeling him lay his hand over your stomach and press down has you clenching around him, making him twitch deep inside you. "god, you're so tight, and you take me so well, like you were made for me," he says. all you can do is moan at his praises, making you teeter closer to the edge.

his groans sound like heaven, his glasses are foggy, and his fringe slightly hangs over them. you don't think you've ever seen anyone look hotter. you don't realize how long you've been staring until he says something like, "see something you like?" and in that moment, you realize you're drunk on him, and you don't ever want to get sober. he chuckles and gives you a smirk right before playing with your clit again. "i can feel the way you're clenching down on me; I know you're close." he's acting almost as if he isn't close, too. "please, soobin, i need to cum—need you to fill me up too, please, soobin." you punctuate your words by wrapping your legs around his waist.

his thrusts become sloppier, and his head falls into the crook of your neck. feeling his hot breath as he curses. "cum for me, y/n" it's not a request but an order. your legs tighten around him as you cum, locking him in as you let out loud moans while your body is wracked with pleasure. you barely get a second to recover before soobin's hot cum floods your insides. there's so much, and you don't think you've ever felt fuller than you do in this moment. after he slips out, you can feel his cum starting to dribble out of your hole.

your head is fuzzy, and you're barely coherent when soobin tells you he's going to grab something to clean you up. however, even with the burn in your legs, gasping for air, and cum spilling from your hole. you can't help but think there's no way this absolute sex god of a man is a damn nerd.

but god, you love nerds.

perma tag list: @hoonslutt @moonlighthoon @love4heejayke @jouliejihan @majestyjun @yizhoutv

#txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #choi soobin smut #soobin smut #soobin hard hours #soobin hard thoughts #txt imagines #txt x reader #txt drabbles #txt reactions #soobin imagines #choi soobin x reader #soobin x reader

[dolldefiler]

C/W: Exhibitionism, possessive

Heya, babe, you’ve met my friends, haven’t you? You see that particular one, don’t you? Give him a wave for me. Well, tonight I’ve found out that he’s got a little crush on you. I can’t have that, can I? So, sweetie, I’m going to fuck you in front of my friends. Tonight, I’m going to show them who you belong to. Who you’ll always belong to. Aww, no, you don’t have to take your clothes off. Just sit on my lap. There we go. That’s a good girl. Yes, yes of course you can face my chest, baby.

Gosh, are you wet already? Does being fucked in front of Daddy’s friends turn you on that much? Well, I can’t keep you waiting, can I? Mhmm, shit, you’re as tight as ever. Do you hear that fellas? That’s the sound of a happy woman. That’s the sound of-- FUCK, of my woman. DON’T-- baby, you’re fucking milking my cock right now. Don’t even think of laying a hand on her. She’s mine. Mine. MINE. Do you like that baby? Do you like it when Daddy gropes you like a piece of fuckmeat in front of his friends?

Tell them who you belong to. Tell them whose cock you love. Tell me what a filthy, depraved cocktoy you are for Daddy. God, you’re so hot. Your cunt’s the perfect fleshlight for my dick, baby. You know that, don’t you? Tell them what you are. No, lads, don’t look down. Look at us. Look at what a perfect slut she is for me. Tell them, baby. That’s right. You’re Daddy’s personal cum dumpster. That’s what you are. You’re mine.

Are you going to cum, sweetie? In front of all my friends? They’re watching you, you know. I can see how badly they want to fuck you. But I’ll never let them. You will always be MINE. FUCK, cum with me baby. I need you to cum, fuck, YES. Oh shit, yes.

Mhm, you’re perfect, princess. Go clean Daddy’s sticky, cummy mess from your pussy. I’ll finish up with the boys and fuck you until the sun rises.

Well, gentlemen, I hope that’s cleared up where I stand on the matter of sharing my girlfriend.

#exhibition kink #praise k!nk #rough kink

[fuckaperioddrama]

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Warnings: Theodore / Asshole? | Mentions of Oral Sex / (female receiving) | Sex (P in V) | Fingering | Me Ranting | Curse Words | Let me know if I missed something?

Fem!Reader

Author’s Notes: Kinda realistic, but you have to be a little delulu with the Slytherin boys. FIRST POST!

Proofread, but there's probably still mistakes.

Mattheo Riddle Headcanons

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons

Blaise Zabini Headcanons

Tom Riddle Headcanons

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

Masterlist

Minors DNI | 18+

___

Theodore Nott | Physique

6’5 - 6'6 | Sorry, he’s just super tall in my head. I'm a tall girl so let me have this.

Lean, but lanky? He's in the in-between stage.

He doesn’t have a lot of muscle, but you can still see muscle? 

He's a little insecure about his body, especially since Mattheo and Lorenzo are more on the buff side.

Would never go to the gym though, he only works out during Quidditch. 

Resting bitch face, but I feel like this is established. 

HOT AS FUCK! HOT! I MEAN HOT AS FUCK! | Shameless Theo girl. SHAMELESS! |

Theodore Nott | Personality

He’s an asshole, but he’s funny. He’s more on the quiet side, but once in a while, he’ll say something witty that’ll make everyone in the room laugh. 

Don’t get into an argument with him. He has a comeback for everything. It’s actually really fucking annoying. 

So blunt. He won’t share his opinion unless asked or if it’s important to him but don’t ask him unless you want the complete and total truth. 

Plays the piano and guitar. 

He loves books. He reads a lot of romance, but he would never share that with anyone. 

He’s very smart. He studies a little here and there, but mostly he just understands everything naturally. He doesn’t even really have to pay attention that much in class. Something else that’s really fucking annoying. 

I feel like he's not amazing at DADA. He's not bad at it, but he gets in his head sometimes and will mess up.

He’s a homebody, but he’ll go out to parties every once in a while. Mainly to hang out with his boys and keep up appearances. 

He’s prideful. He comes from a good family and he likes to make his presence known. 

A chaser in Quidditch and is ALWAYS showing off. It pisses Draco off so much. 

He smokes, but not a ton. I’d say a pack every 2-3 days. 

Smokes weed though. He’s not reckless with it, but if he’s at a party or relaxing without shit to do? He’s lighting up.

Eats SO MUCH. Especially when he's high. He is always in the mood for food.

Theodore Nott | Casenova

He does have a lot of sex, but it’s usually one woman for a couple of weeks. He doesn’t talk to her outside of their meetups and will (and has) embarrassed a couple of women who even thought it was okay to approach him. 

He’s an ASSHOLE!

The reason why these women keep crawling back? Theodore Nott fucks you like he loves you. He’s so attentive.

A MUNCH! Theodore Nott is a munch, through and through. He's so good at it too.

It's because he speaks Italian. Anyone who speaks the tongue of romance also speaks the tongue of absolutely devouring some pussy. I know that's not true for all, but let me DREAM!

He's also skilled with his fingers. | Piano and guitar player. Duh. |

As previously mentioned, this man is prideful. He will spend hours on a woman pulling out every sound, causing every jolt, and basking in the way they scream his name because it feeds his ego.

He's not doing all of that because he cares, he just likes knowing he's good at what he does. And he is good. 

He’s a dom, and he is ROUGH, but he talks them through it the whole time. SO MUCH PRAISE!

This pussy is mine, toria. All fucking mine. There isn't a single man on this Earth who deserves to feel you like this.

I know, baby. Just cum on my cock one more time. That's all I need. Let me feel you just one more time. 

Fuck, bella, you make me feel so good. 

He'll have them thinking their vag was crafted by Aphrodite herself, meanwhile he's pulling these lines on every woman he fucks.

And when he starts speaking Italian? These women EAT IT UP!

I might be a strong woman, but I'd let this man use me too.

They eat him up too. Not just figuratively. It's become a guessing game for the boys trying to figure out who his hickey came from.

Theo isn't one to kiss and tell. He just smirks and lays his head back, exposing his hickey covered neck as his friends keep asking questions they'll never get the answers to.

And after sex? He’s the perfect, sweet lover. So time after time these women come crawling back despite how he treats them in public and he uses them over and over again. 

Then he gets bored, he moves on to the next woman, and the cycle repeats.

Theodore Nott | Friend

Closest to Mattheo and Blaise 

Talks a lot more around his friends. Jokes left and right. 

Always doing some dumb shit. Pranks with Mattheo? His favorite pastime. 

He likes going out with his boys, being reckless, blowing his money, and just being young. 

He loves his friends because they remind him what it’s like to be free. 

He’d never admit it to any of them, but meeting them was one of the best things that ever happened to him. 

His friends (Aka Draco and Lorenzo) are bullies, but he couldn’t be bothered with that. He’s more of a fuck around a find out type of guy. 

Yes, I believe Lorenzo Berkshire is an asshole. Please don’t come for me. Or do.

He takes care of his friends silently. He won’t ask them how their day is, but he’ll show up with their favorite things whenever he notices them feeling bad. 

Very attentive. He is very in tune with the needs of the group.

Theodore Nott | Boyfriend 

UGH, I LOVE THIS PART

He is used to being an asshole toward women so he’s not sure how to navigate his first relationship 

Gift Giving and Acts of Service

He doesn’t know how to properly express his feelings so he just buys you shit and does stuff for you 

PRINCESS TREATMENT 

I’m talking back rubs, foot rubs, | If you want that. I know some people have a feet thing. | putting on your shoes, zipping up your dress, washing you in the shower or bath, doing your hair, carrying you when your feet hurt. Something broke? He’ll fix it. You need something? Baby, I’ve got it. 

He serves you first in the great hall. He puts your food on your plate first and makes sure you have all of your favorites. He likes to give you food. He likes to eat so he likes it when you eat. 

Buys you flowers. He always keeps a flower from the arrangement so he can tell when yours is about to die. 

Dates 2-3 times a month. 

Always buying you gifts. He will FORCE you to take them. Why should I not spoil you? 

He can be a little misogynistic when it comes to taking care of you.

He's more of a feminist. He doesn't give a shit and thinks women can do whatever they want. However, some gender roles are just ingrained in him.

Do not try to pay for dinner. Don't try to pay for anything while you're out with him. Do you want these people to think I can't take care of my girl?

Will not let you carry anything heavy. In private he might let you get away with it if you argue, but not in public. He's a man and it's his job to act like the man. | I don't mind men like this too much. Like I'm an independent woman, but I'm also a damsel in distress. Please do everything for me.

Anything his baby wants his baby gets. He has a big protector/provider mindset. He will do anything for you because you’re precious and you shouldn’t have to do anything yourself.

Teddy, I’ve got it. 

I know, cara mia, but let me do it. 

His hands are always on you. Physical Touch.

When you first start dating it’s subtle. Hand on your back, hands grazing in the hallways. 

He can be a little possessive. Or a lot. 

He used to fuck the girlfriends of the guys he didn’t like so he doesn’t like when guys come around you. He keeps you close as a way to claim you. 

Toxic

When he gets more comfortable around you it’s a hand on your waist, arm around your shoulder, occasionally smacking your ass.

He’s a thigh guy, but he appreciates everything. Boobs, butt, thighs, neck, arm, whatever. The female body is beautiful and he loves every inch. 

Greets you in the hallways by putting his arms around you from behind. 

Neck. Kisses. Always kissing your neck. Licking your neck. Biting your neck. 

Kisses you like it’s the last time he’ll ever see you. Sometimes it looks like he's swallowing you, your friends think it's kinda gross.

Walks you to each and every class and makes out with you before them 

He just loves to spend time with you. 

Quality Time 

As I mentioned before, he’s a homebody. He loves just staying in with you. After your last class, he always goes to your dorm or you go to his. Study together. Astronomy Tower dates.

He follows you around like a lost puppy. He’s so lover-boy-coded. 

He didn’t pay attention to the girls before you, but he has no problem giving you his full attention whenever and wherever you need it. Call him a simp? He doesn’t care. That’s his girl. 

He can be a little controlling sometimes. He likes to know where you are, and who you’re with. 

He walks you everywhere. You’re meeting up with your friends after he spent two hours railing you against a wall? He’s walking you the whole way, he can't miss a second of you.

And afterward, he always gives you a kiss and a hug goodbye. I’ll miss you, amore. Like you two won’t see each other in a couple of hours. Then he'll keep pulling you closer to him every time you try to break free because he needs just one more kiss. 

He’ll always make you late. Sometimes it's because he is smothering you in kisses. Other times, he spends a good ten minutes holding you and telling you how much he loves you. Words of Affirmation.

Once Theodore Nott is fully and completely comfortable in his love with you he will NOT shut up. He can be so cheesy too, he comes up with the most eye-roll-inducing stuff.

I know I won't make it to heaven, but at least I was given a taste before I go. 

I think someone might have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes.

Then there's the unhinged cheesy ones.

Why should I waste time studying herbs with the power to heal wounds when the only healing power I need is right in between your legs?

Are you the witch who lost her broom? I couldn't find it, but I have something else long and hard that you can ride. I've heard it can last all. night. long.

ON AND ON. HE WON'T STOP.

Then of course you have his more serious declarations of love. Usually when you're sleeping because whenever he tries to say this stuff when you're awake he feels like his heart is about to backflip into his ass. 

When I look at your face, I feel as if the sun finally rises. My world fades from dark to light and in that moment; and only in that moment, I find happiness. I am not a good man, I don't know what I did in life to deserve you but I promise to spend every second making sure I'm worthy of keeping you.

| Alright, that was a little cute. Maybe a little too cheesy, let’s move on. |

Theodore Not | Committed Lover 

Tongue shoved in between your legs 24/7. On his knees in the closet, with you above him sitting on a desk, laying down between your legs, you sitting on his face. Anytime, anywhere he is tasting you like it’s the last thing he ever could do. 

He is so good with his fingers. | Once again guys, he plays piano and guitar. | Fast fingers working you open every chance he gets. 

Seriously every chance he gets. 

He loves fingering you in the middle of class, by the lake, in the hallways, and anywhere in public. | With your consent of course.

I SAID IT ONCE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN! ROUGH!

He loves doggy. Having you bent over while he smacks your ass raw and dicks you down like a fucking animal.

I mean leg up, holding you back by the ties around your wrist while he thrust his huge ass cock | At least 8 inches and THICK | into your SOAKED and achy cunt because you know he took his TIME getting you ready. 

Literal hours sucking on your clit while he fucked you with his nicely long and thick fingers

Now he’s pounding into you at an unthinkable speed while you’re screaming, tears running down your face, and mind going blank as he fucks you dumb.

He lets you ride him sometimes. He loves seeing you on top, but he still never fully gives you control. He keeps his hands firm on your waist or ass and you can never get away with teasing him for long before he holds you in place and fucks into you like a man possessed.

He likes the soft stuff too. 

Hands holding onto your hips as he grinds his cock into your pussy. 

Head stuffed into your neck as he continuously moans. I could stay here forever. You’re all I need. 

___

A/N: Overall, Theo is a toxic asshole but it’s okay because he magically becomes the perfect gentleman (not really) when we start dating him.

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