#and it's so funny that a movement is a ship name LMAO

[ooowyn]

wretchedness

#i have no idea how to draw either of them #i've drawn obi wan like 2 times before cause he's just #chef kiss #but anakin is my type of character to draw and i love that bitch of a man #this ship has consumed me since i got back into starwars LMAO #wups! #aniobi #obiani #the fuck is their ship name anyway i know aniobi is a staff move (that my roommate has learned and i kinda did) #and it's so funny that a movement is a ship name LMAO #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #starwars #obikin #i think i've seen this tag used before #aoniobi shippers please help me out ur my only hope #ooowyn art

[kitchenalia]

it's all so funny because two people can say they're into cottagecore. the first is someone who loves growing her own food, tries for sustainable habits, believes in anti-consumerism, and just enjoys connection to nature. the second buys aliexpress/wish fast fashion dresses because they look #aesthetic, posts about mushrooms and being feral but is essentially afraid of going outside, watches hours of internet content about cutesy cottagecore shopping hauls, and doesn't really subscribe to any anti-consumerist actions whatsoever. i don't really understand a "cottagecore aesthetic" that's all about getting new plastic junk shipped to your house because it's Cute and Totally Cottagecore.

to me, cottagecore was initially just a name for a deep-seated longing for nature, connection to the earth, sustainability, self-sufficiency and community building, fighting food insecurity, and pointing out how capitalism divorces us from nature and encourages us to be exclusively reliant on a giant chain full of exploitation and slavery. and there always WAS content like that among people interested in it, but the core of it (lol) ended up being high-strung impulse shoppers who deflect any criticisms of their lifestyles with "corporations though." they post about wanting a simple life, but the reality says grubhub, cheap amazon junk catered to the trends, and arguing against the people who try to post about making your life better. (literally the only time they espouse anything resembling collective politics/anti-individualism is when it can be used to deflect criticisms of their harmful habits; go figure, self-evaluation is rejected in favor of navel-gazing).

this is why i mostly stopped engaging with anything cottagecore-related, despite liking the aesthetics of old, 'rustic' things (things that i see as practical and environmentally friendly, at least). i mostly read about the simple living/voluntary simplicity movement, global movements for food justice, community/grassroots movements, and people working for the environment now instead, as well as whatever i can find about lesbian domesticity and women's land. i get a lot of the same aesthetics (and room for other people's lack of patience for aesthetics, which is also cool!) but with actual teeth and willingness to put in the hard work. let's be real, reblogging the random "omg i hate capitalism" post does nothing if you're just feeding back into the cycle in the name of validating your identity as a cottagecore girl or whatever. get outside, make your own food, stop buying everything you want in impulse, learn about the tedious politics behind your movement (no, i don't mean people on tumblr saying cottagecore is fascism lmao).

#yes i am being blunter than usual on this topic #i am sick of seeing ridiculous mass produced novelty items being Cottagecore #and the cottagecore bloggers refusing to talk about lifestyle changes even while being 'anti capitalism' #literally go start gardening or something. go give away some food. go pick up trash by that local pond.

[lotus-mirage]

Trigun Stampede episode 7 liveblog

Man I said this two-parter is really focused on Wolfwood, but this episode has his name as the title

Oh I see the destination is an additional threat to him. Huh. I wonder what the purpose of that is? Like just to mess with him, or to make the journey seem appropriately menaced, or what?

I didn't notice before, but it is incredibly funny that the letters front and center are B and L

I feel like half of Wolfwood's gun is like ammo storage lmao, he goes through that fast

Oh actual emoting from Livio! Not looking particularly cognizant, but it's something.

Oh there's Meryl and Roberto! Would not have figured that's how they managed to tag along, but if it works it works haha

The boing noises as the desert raiders are thrown around are fantastic

Vash is wielding his gun, backhand, like a blunt weapon. Possibly as a gauntlet idk. Still. Makes sense for him, but not something I've ever seen before lol

Mmmmhmm and now the "monsters" and "not human" assertions are being foiled.

Between Livio and Rollo, seems like they kinda get stuck on a single sentiment?

"It would have been better without you around" ...ah. I did not expect that and don't know how to respond to it.

Wow, uh. I mean we knew Vash was incredibly accurate at aiming before, but to redirect someone else's gun to land a clean shot (particularly one that has as much heft as Wolfwood's) is rather uncanny.

that method of getting another Worm actually made me gag ugh.

wait hold up what was happening with Livio's reflection. I don't think I recognize it?

Eef. Thought that was how it'd end, but didn't expect him to shoot and fall over the side. (I suppose it's possible that the 'if there isn't a body, they're probably not dead' rule applies here though)

"I just wanted to spread the good word. That's all." You know I think this does in fact hold true to the, uh. Real world weight? That this sort of phrase carries.

Okay this is the first we've heard of a topic that Wolfwood apparently has disagreements with the Eye of Michael over. ...Actually that was on an assumption that it's a decision on an action, not a religious thing. It's Wolfwood's initial verbal disagreement on religion, isn't it.

Switched to Eng dub for a second 'cause I wasn't sure who said the next couple lines, but yeah I think it's clearer that it's about Wolfwood's denial.

Wait speaking of that's also a Christian term too right. Like Judas denies Jesus or something? I know the term is used in relation to those two in particular but I don't actually know the specifics. It's like "one of you will deny me" or "one of you will betray me" and I don't remember which.

Not sure if that really matters in this case, though, since I don't think Bluesummers quite maps to Jesus lol. Anyways.

Okay yeah "Punisher" is definitely being used in relation to Wolfwood himself. Noted.

Lmao the "Hi!~" being in English really sold it

Ooh, worldbuilding. Spacefaring age, okay.

Wait if they're running around to all the controls, where are the people originally driving the ship?

Yay, character exploration and development from Meryl! (and Roberto to a lesser extent)

Oh wait the kid that fell in the first town is alive?? I guess I saw him moving a bit at the end there, but it was a long fall and I thought maybe it was his mom's movements while carrying him.

:0 Vash's arm fractured! Frankly I didn't know it could do that. That's not good.

Oh lmao it's the disproportionate response "Wolfwood..." that kept being memed on.

Oh NOW the title comes up!

Actually wait I saw something on this a while ago, too. They were talking about he asserts he's "the Punisher," then "Nicholas the Punisher," and then the framing basically hits him with a "no :)" That's so funny. Also kind of tragic. But still funny.

Oh hey this is the first time we've seen Vash in this sort of situation since he was a 'plant technician' in the first episode.

it can move in there!?

oh that looks really painful

it's humanoid already!?

maybe I leaned too far into the "oh it's kind of egg shaped" assumption lol

Oop, yep, I guess Livio's not dead. Or uh. Might be dead but isn't out of the picture?

Alright yeah Vash looks pretty out of it.

...was that him hitting the ground? oof.

End Notes:

Again not really much to say here! We got some character details, some worldbuilding details, lots of character development & solidification of relationships, and now some immediate threads to be followed up on (Vash's arm and the Plant reveal thing). Feeling much more invested than when I started the series and interested in seeing how this conversation goes!

I will say. The plant did not look uh. very intimidating. kind of reminds me of the... neopets fairies? I don't think that's right, but like some similar franchise kind of had similar vibes, shape-wise.

...is this the first time the Plant stuff got fully revealed in the show? I went in knowing and haven't been keeping track. I know it was established that Vash is a) non-human b) fell from a spaceship onto the planet and c) had 'relatives' in pods on said spaceship. Not to mention his twin also having pretty obvious markings. But I'm curious about the reasons for the pacing of these reveals, since we got so much of Wolfwood's backstory just last episode.

#trigun #tristamp liveblog #my thoughts

[deeaselriel]

Why do people take the few interactions of Az & Gw*n and make it romantic or say that it hints their so called relationship, but completely deny THE OBVIOUS romantic coded scenes of Elriel? Those scenes where he goes basically to death FOR HER, the way she only opens up to him, their smiles and time spent together, the unusual ENERGY there is between them? That’s also mentioned by Feyre and not only. Even in ACOSF we have PLENTY of signs, but yeah, focus on the nonexistent ones bc y’all just want it SO BAD for Elain to not be with Az. That desperate you are!!LIKE WHY ON EARTH? Y’all just wrote EVERY SINGLE PARAGRAPH where Az’s & Gw*n’s name appear “together” and called it a day. Called it a “build up to their relationship”. Said it’s “so obvious they’re endgame”. No cuz I, ships aside & as someone that analyzes texts A LOT, I truly feel offended?! What books are y’all even reading? 😭😭😭😭 And how can y’all turn some simple interactions into some romantic sh!t that’s not?! It’s like saying that Feyre and Az have romantic feeling for each other bc they smile at eo or protect eo (Az more ofc). It’s plain… dumb? Like I’m sorry. 😂😂😂 What’s funny is that y’all don’t see (or pretend to not see maybe lol) the possible red flags & that whole light singer theory that actually makes sense. Now, that’s where you can say it’s hinted, cuz it happens TWO times; with different people. Guess who. 😂

No cuz as an Elriel girlie I have NO PEACE. On every single platform I’m bullied and I have things thrown at me that don’t even make sense. About this whole ship war. Read the f*cking books a billion times more and realize that YOU KNOW that Elriel is endgame, it’s just that the hatred for Elain is SO huge that y’all have to find any single reason to pair Az with someone else. And if I’m allowed, I’d go soo much more into detail about this whole Elain hatred movement, and say it as it is: Y’ALL HAVE INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY! On a scale that I can’t even pronounce it. And don’t say it’s not that, bc I SEE how y’all keep degrading her character bc she’s girly, feminine, sweet, kind, minds her business etc. Yall say she’s boring, but funny enough, she’s kinda just like Az, only that we know a little more about him. But yeah, she’s “boring” and “plain”, but he’s “mysterious” and “hot”. THE HYPOCRISY. I love them both to death, but y’all are HYPOCRITES and pick sides with d!ck having usually, and ONLY like women that have traits THAT MEN USUALLY HAVE. Explains why y’all complain all day and all night that Elain is not some warrior, doesn’t get all excited for fighting with swords or BEING A B!TCH! Cuz yeah, I also saw how much y’all like the mean asf characters. Makes me question a lot about y’all! 👀 It’s pretty telling for me what kind of people y’all are if you hate on a kind and feminine woman that minds her business. Like what on earth did she do so bad? Besides the things with Feyre, that even Feyre understood lmao, she’s a saint in comparison with the other characters. But she’s still the most hated in the fandom bc of misogyny and y’all can’t change my mind. I’ll repeat myself: ✨It’s ok to love ONLY b!tchy characters that are mean for whatever reason that fight left and right and have these traits that MEN usually have, but it’s OUTRAGEOUS to even LIKE someone that is FEMININE in every single way, that doesn’t put a sword in her hand and that is not a warrior 24/7✨This is how y’all sound. I guess y’all hate yourselves (aka women) so much that it results into this. SAAAAD. Y’all even invalidate Elain for killing the king of hybern, just like Nesta did and everyone around her. (El) SJM is teaching y’all a lesson through these books bc y’all put Elain down EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YALLS PATHETIC LIVES. It’s in the books, if y’all wanna look. But it’s subtle asf, and it’s only for the ones that can interpret a book. Not for many of you I guess. 💀😂 Oh, and btw, SJM, the author herself said that out of all the characters Elain would be her best friend. She’s just that character that a normal human being would love to be around. Bc she’s chill, sweet and kind. She just brings so much peace around her. That’s the vibes. But ik, even with this y’all would disagree. 😂😂😂😂😂🙄 Bruh.

Whatever, I wrote so much and I don’t feel BAD AT ALL. Some things have to be said Ffs. Y’all are getting too brave for hating a genuine kind woman that likes to bake and plant flowers. 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Don’t even @ me or anything bc I know I’m right with everything I wrote here. And I have every right to also speak about this whole thing since many, MANY of you wished death to me, or told me I deserve to be R word just like my fave deserves. Aka Elain. Y’all are despicable people that don’t deserve sh!t and I hope karma gets y’all. 🌸🌸 The flower princess & the 👩‍🍳 of velaris says that we need to k!ll people with kindness. I think she’s a fan of Selena Gomez. 😂😂😂😂🌸✨ BYEEEEE.

#acotar #elain archeron #pro elain archeron

[wovenstarlight]

Hi! I just finished your role swap AU, where Yoohyun is the F-rank and Yoojin is the S-rank.

It was amazing, my gosh, the little 8th chapter that explained everything in more detail was so nice. It’s such an interesting idea, and I think you executed it really well! There were funny moments, silly moments, and gut punching moments all wrapped up in one! In particular I love how everyone is able to use sign language, and how it just shows their love for each other.

Yerim being pissed that she’s 15 again is so funny, who would ever want to go back to highschool/middle school after being an adult? Certainly not her! Also the way that the guild members didn’t know her, and Soyoung also didn’t know her was so sad! Because most of the others don’t really form close friendships outside of the group, it’s always fun to remember just how outgoing Yerim is and how many friends she makes!

Also, not to be ship-y on your interesting and well thought out AU, but I am curious as to how exactly the relationship between Sung Hyunjae and Han Yoojin has changed? What is the dynamic between them post-regression? How about pre-regression? Was shj just another person going hunting with Yoohyun back then?did Han Yoojin have any feelings about him at all?

Also also, is Song Taewon a little less repressed in this AU? Because he is a low grade, meaning there’s less chance of him viewing himself as a monster, or does he still have atrociously low self esteem? And I love how you brought back his younger brother, he was such an interesting side note in canon so I’m glad he has a name now! and is alive!

WAHAAA THANK YOU VERY MUCH.... im glad you liked it!! also lol your mention of the sign language thing reminded me of a fun fact i didn't get to work into the fics, which is that while the F-ranks and Dodam high-rankers picked up some sign through exposure by being around the (fluent) Han brothers, they routinely get annoyed with Yoohyun. that's because he's developed a habit of turning away or signing answers where they can't see him--it's because he's used to Yoojin being able to "see" his movements through skin no matter what angle he's facing. lmao.

i did answer the rest of your questions but <- guy who has a terminal need to ramble on and on. answers are under the cut

ALSO i'm adding all the stuff i've talked about here, and any other rankswap stuff i talk about in the future, to the last AO3 chapter as well! they'll all go under the "answered questions/additional thoughts (WORK IN PROGRESS)" heading :3 you can check back to that for any further info!

ok time to get to the rest of it!!

Yerim being pissed that she’s 15 again is so funny, who would ever want to go back to highschool/middle school after being an adult? Certainly not her!

YEAH Yerim was really sad about redoing school... she had a hard time of it for a while but having her family back was definitely worth the trouble. the F-ranks actually discussed how far back to go for a while there, though we didn't see it. they all knew they had to go back far enough to undo Yoojin's death, but that wasn't so far, a day at most so they could call off the raid--but hey, while we're at it, why not reverse far enough back to resurrect Yerim's parents? that's a lot further back, but we can use that extra time to help with other stuff... and let's save Chief Song's brother and MHA's teammates, too! and so it turned into a much bigger regression than first anticipated, and the kids were so caught up in all the things they'd get back that they didn't realize the other stuff that came along with it :P

I am curious as to how exactly the relationship between Sung Hyunjae and Han Yoojin has changed? What is the dynamic between them post-regression? How about pre-regression? Was shj just another person going hunting with Yoohyun back then?did Han Yoojin have any feelings about him at all?

oh feel free to be shippy! i will put as a disclaimer that even my canon thoughts on SHJ have him being demisexual or generally aro/acespec, so i'm still somewhat handwavey on whether he and HYJ have a romantic thing going or if it's more of a QPP situation in any given storyline.

as for in this AU, specifically... well, pre-regression, SHJ was just another one of the hunters accompanying Yoohyun from HYJ's POV. not much more interest in him than that, though he did enjoy their back-and-forths, as did SHJ. (i thought i had a line in their post-reg reunion where Yerim thought it must be killing SHJ not to pick up on their usual banter, but I must have deleted it in the final draft...) SHJ, meanwhile, definitely had some sort of crush on him in that platonic/romantic gray area, but he sort of... never followed up on that? he was happy with their dynamic as is.

post-regression, their dynamic gets a little more intense. MHA has her raid team and STW has his security work at Dodam. that makes SHJ the adult with the most free time on his hands, and he also has one of the best memories for stuff pre-reg--as such, SHJ spends a lot of time with HYJ working out the pre-reg timeline and identifying useful information. they definitely get a lot friendlier over that time, and hey, even if i ditched the idea of making it a formal skill, maybe SHJ figures out how to act as a mana battery anyway, making him a significant asset for HYJ in battle and endearing him further to HYJ.

Also also, is Song Taewon a little less repressed in this AU? Because he is a low grade, meaning there’s less chance of him viewing himself as a monster, or does he still have atrociously low self esteem?

ahahah... well, STW is definitely not repressed for the same reasons as in canon? but he is still. going through it. all that canon self-loathing didn't come from nowhere, and if i had to guess then the Monster aspect was added after the Awakenings, but the root of it was there even before that. so he doesn't think of himself as a monster and inhuman, no, but he's definitely very hard on himself. that flawless track record throughout school and university and work would have taken a lot of effort, which means he must hold himself to exacting standards of perfection, and then when his parents and his brother died, he took that really badly. pre-regression, he was stern and serious and quiet just as he is in canon, particularly touchy about the subject of risk-taking and particularly so when it regarded dungeons/monsters. but he softened and opened up with time as he grew closer to the other F-ranks, and he'll do so in earnest now that he has his family back :D

and yes!! little brother is back with a vengeance!! i like to think of Song Cheolmin as an upbeat balancing force to STW's more serious attitude. he's just about the only person who can coax STW into really breaking free of that seriousness, and has gotten him to aid and abet more than one childhood prank or chocolate thievery. if we get a canon name for him and i have to change all my fics/headcanons AGAIN i will be so so angry <3 love and light

#answered #anonymous #star.txt #rankswap au #my sranks #bak yerim #han yoohyun #sung hyunjae #han yoojin #song taewon #song cheolmin #sorry for going on at length. my bad #<- guy who will absolutely definitely do it again without remorse

[jamaisjoons]

love alive ⤑ jjk | m.

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 a year after you and jungkook break up, the two of you meet at your brother’s party. 〞post break up au. exes to lovers au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: jungkook x reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 17k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: mentions of alcohol, swearing, so much angst, pining? i guess, they’re both broken up but still love each other so there’s that lmao, reader emotionally cheats a fair amount, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, sub!reader, pussy eating, hair pulling, fingering, dirty talk, this was supposed to be soft sex but idk what happened, okay it’s kinda soft but also feral, tender feral sex, aka the seraphjoon vibe, unprotected sex, riding, creampie, multiple orgasms

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: YEEEHAW LOOK I DID SOMETHING !! i had sudden inspo for this fic and while it HURTS it doesn’t hurt too bad i dont think. anyway, i hope you enjoy it but its like 3am so i’m going to bed now hawyeet

⇥ part of the mixtape series

⏤ edited by my wonderful beta @shadowsremedy​

One late Friday evening, Jungkook finds himself in his apartment. He’s currently sat on the sofa, simply staring off into space as he waits for his date to return. Jungkook doesn’t really remember much about her, they’d just been to dinner and try as he might, he just hadn’t been able to focus on the conversation. One reason being none other than it had been a completely stilted conversation - first dates were always awkward - but paired with the fact he barely knows her, and that he’d been on about seventeen different first dates in the last three months, he’d found himself unable to really keep the conversation going.

Of course, the second - and more major - reason, would be that she’s not you.

But Jungkook would rather not think about that right now.

“Do you have any wine?” Jungkook’s date calls out. Breaking out of his daze, Jungkook’s eyes come back into focus as he trains his attention back onto her. Eyebrows slightly furrowed, he scrambles for her name. Jiha? Jihyo? Jihye! That’s it. Jihye looks at him expectantly, waiting for his answer.

“Uh, maybe. I don’t know,” comes Jungkook’s distracted answer, “there may be some in the bottom cupboard on the left-hand side,” he continues nonchalantly - not really thinking about it. He thinks he remembers seeing an open bottle there, but again, he doesn’t drink wine all that often so he doesn’t really care. He watches Jihye rummage around in his kitchen, her short black dress riding further up the backs of her thighs - and Jungkook knows he should feel some sort of attraction towards her - she’s incredibly beautiful - not to mention her body’s practically perfect - and yet, he feels… nothing.

Why is he on a date with her again? Oh yes, because she frequented the same gym as he did and had asked him out randomly earlier in the week. Jungkook lets out a little sigh, his head falls back onto the back of the sofa. Staring up at the ceiling, his mind casts back to all the dates he’s had recently. Most of them approach him and he doesn’t really know why he keeps saying yes - but he has an inkling it’s to do with the fact that he’s still not over you. Though, that doesn’t really matter.

You’re long gone, and the last Jungkook had heard about you, was that you’d met someone else - someone willing to give you more than he could - someone willing to give you what you want. His heart constraints at the thought of you, but he shakes the thoughts out of his head. He needs to move on - it’s been long enough. Almost a year. Well, it’s been exactly seven months, twenty-three days and nine hours since you walked out on him, but who’s keeping count? Certainly not him.

“Oh! I found some. It’s already open - do you mind if I have some?” Jihye asks, and reflexively, Jungkook finds himself rolling his eyes. If he hadn’t wanted her to have some, he wouldn’t have told her where the wine was. Biting his tongue, however, Jungkook just lets out a non-committal hum. Once done pouring herself a glass of wine, Jihye returns to him while taking a sip of her wine. Suddenly, she stops, her face twisting in disgusting as she spits her wine back into her glass. Own features twisting in disgust, Jungkook regards her through guarded eyes, wondering what was going on.

“Gross! Why does this wine have pieces of cork in it? Also, I think it’s gone off - it tastes weird,” Jihye gripes as she takes her glass back into his kitchen. Barely paying attention to her words, Jungkook stares in unsettlement at the bottle. The dark green glass glints under the warm kitchen lights, his heart lurching as he recognises the bottle.

With unfocused eyes, he stares at the bottle, unmoving as his mind buzzes with what feels like static. Hazily, he registers that Jihye is speaking, but through the thick fog of his memories, Jungkook’s mind barely notices what she’s saying. Nonetheless, the exact moment Jihye begins tilting the bottle over the sink, attempting to flush its contents, Jungkook jumps to his feet.

“No! Don’t throw it out,” Jungkook’s voice thunders, his long legs carrying him into the kitchen swiftly. Jihye startles, looking at him in dumbfounded incredulity.

“What? Why? It’s got pieces of cork in it, and it tastes funny,” Jihye replies, turning back and beginning to pour the wine again. Abruptly, Jungkook snatches the bottle out of her hand, causing Jihye to jump.

“It’s not off, it just tastes like that. It’s bad wine,” Jungkook mutters as he puts the stopper back in the neck of the bottle.

“All the more reason to throw it out?” Jihye suggests, Jungkook’s jaw flexing at her words.

“I’m not throwing it out,” Jungkook replies, his voice hardened. Jihye cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Come on Jungkook, I think you should throw it out,” Jihye says coyly, a smile crawling onto her face. Imperceptibly, Jungkook’s eyes narrow. The flirtatiousness in her demeanour isn’t lost on him, nor is the fact that she likely thinks he’s joking. But Jungkook isn’t joking. He’s not throwing the wine out - whether it has pieces of cork in it, whether it tastes bad, or even if it had been off, he’s not throwing it out.

“No,” Jungkook says, his voice full of resolve. Jihye startles as she realises he’s not being playful. She raises her eyebrow once again, cocking her hip to the side.

“What’s so special about it? It’s just a bottle of wine,” Jihye points out. Of course, to anyone, it would be just a bottle of wine - but to him, it’s so much more.

It’s the last thing he has left of you.

When you’d broken up with him, ending your five-year relationship, you’d moved everything out of his apartment. The stupid cushions Jungkook hated - really, they only took up more space on the sofa, meaning he couldn’t lounge about properly - your hundred and one towels, even the sheets: the ones that had smelled like you. They’re all gone, along with all your clothes and belongings, leaving a half-empty apartment, and a hole in Jungkook’s heart. Every and any trace of you had slowly been removed from his flat and consequently his life. And now, he’s left with just this bottle of wine. - the one you’d forgotten about because it’d been hidden at the back of the cupboard.

“Jungkook? Are you listening to me? What’s so great about this bottle?” Jihye asks. Once again, however, Jungkook’s mind wanders to you. Unable to pull away from the bottle, Jihye fades from the world, her voice becoming distant and hazy as he recedes back into his memories.

Flashback - three years ago

A knock resounding at Jungkook’s door, he takes a deep breath. Looking at himself in the mirror one last time, he brushes the non-existent lint off his blazer. Then, running his fingers through his hair, he nods at himself and leaves his bedroom. Approaching the door, he swings it open, a large smile painted on his face as he spots you.

“Hello, beautiful,” Jungkook greets the moment he spots you. However, the moment he actually sees you, he finds himself stopping. Dressed in a flowing sundress, a dazzling smile on your face and bright, twinkling eyes - you look positively radiant. A loud whoosh of air escapes his nose, his eyes softening at you, “you look gorgeous,” he breathlessly says, his voice low.

Your smile brightening, you grin up at him, “Happy third anniversary!” you call out cheerily. Jungkook bites his lip, and unable to stop himself, swoops down and presses a kiss to your lips.

“Happy anniversary,” he mutters back, his lips brushing yours with every movement. Pulling your lower lip between your teeth, you chew on it while giving him a smile. Even three years into your relationship, Jungkook still managed to set butterflies aflutter in the pits of your stomach with the slightest touch.

Swiftly, you step into his apartment, easily navigating your way towards his kitchen as you place the bags of food and wine onto his counter. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out?” you ask curiously, peering at your boyfriend through the corner of your eyes.

However, Jungkook only steps up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, ��Nope!” he happily replies, popping the ‘p’ sound, “you said you’d rather just have a quiet night in. Besides, we went out for the cruise-ship dinner thing last year,” Jungkook continues, humming in thought at the memory. A smile curls on your own lips and you twist in his arms, winding your own around his waist as you place your head on his chest.

“Mmm, that was a good anniversary. But if I remember correctly, someone ended up being seasick from drinking too much,” you say pointedly, tilting your head to look up at him, your chin resting on his sternum. Despite his cheeks flushing a rosy shade, Jungkook scowls.

“It’s not my fault… the alcohol was stronger than I thought it was,” he mumbles under his breath. You shake your head in fondness, but then, your lips curl into a slight frown. Every anniversary, Jungkook had taken you somewhere - your first, he’d taken you on a ski trip, your second, he’d taken you on a weekend break to Jeju island, and of course, your third had been a cruise-ship dinner. This year, however, you’d been recently promoted to the department head of your company, but that had meant additional stress and weight to an already heavy workload. As a result, you’d asked Jungkook if he was okay with just a quiet night in - because there was nothing you wanted more than to just spend some time with your loving boyfriend.

“Are you sure this is okay? If you want to go out or something, we still can,” you ask. However, Jungkook only shakes his head once again while pulling you closer into him.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. Honestly. I just want to spend some time with you. Whether that’s here in my apartment, or in yours, or on an expensive date, or even in a garbage dump, it doesn’t matter. I just want to be with you,” Jungkook grins before smacking a sloppy kiss on your forehead. Face twisting in disgust, your earlier doubt about Jungkook being happy with your choice of date fades away, and you playfully smack him before pushing him away.

“Ew gross! You just slobbered all over me,” you gripe, rubbing the wet spot on your forehead.

Waggling his eyebrows, “and there’s more where that came from,” Jungkook playfully teases. A light snort escapes your lips as you shake your head before turning around.

“Yeah, whatever. I bought wine and steak for dinner. It’s not much but I don’t know, I felt like being classy,” you casually shrug while turning to the bag of groceries Jungkook hadn’t noticed. Head cocked to the side, he grimaces at the bottle of wine. Suddenly, you stop, your lips curling in a frown, “Although… in hindsight, I should have bought more food - knowing your bottomless stomach,” you sigh, looking at him from the corner of your eye.

“Yeah, you probably should have,” Jungkook deadpans. Lips twisting into a pout, your shoulders deflate at his words. Jungkook sees your disappointment, his heart dropping in his chest at the thought of upsetting you. He’d meant it as a joke - really, he had - but you’d clearly taken it seriously. Stepping up to you, Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist once again, his chin resting on your shoulder and hands clasps around your belly.

“I was only joking, sweetheart,” Jungkook says lowly, his face nuzzling into your hair while he presses a kiss to the outer shell of your ear. “Wine and steak sound good. Very classy,” he continues, pressing another kiss to your flesh - this time the column of your throat.

Instantly, your lips curl into a victorious smirk, “Okay, great!” you say, your shoulders immediately perking up. Jungkook blinks at your sudden change in demeanour, his nose scrunching when he realises what’s just happened.

“Hey! Did you do that on purpose?” he asks, his eyes narrowing into slits, his gaze full of accusation. Face twisting into a picture of innocence, you smile at him coyly - and if he didn’t know you as well as he did, he’d buy it - but Jungkook sees the sparkle of mischief in your eyes.

Before he can open his mouth, however, you’re already cutting him off, “Where’s your corkscrew?” you ask, rummaging through his drawers. Jungkook watches you search through the utensils, your lips curling downwards in concentration.

His own lips twisting, Jungkook approaches you, helping you look for the corkscrew. However, after a few moments, “Oh. I don’t think I have one,” Jungkook finally says. Eyebrows furrowing slightly, Jungkook wonders if he ever even bought one, but he doesn’t think he has.

“Kook! How are we supposed to drink this now?” you whine, a pout forming on your face again. Shrugging, Jungkook whips out his phone.

“I’m sure we can like, find another way,” Jungkook replies, already googling a way to open the wine bottle. Curiously, you peer over his shoulder, Jungkook’s arm instinctively wrapping around you as he scrolls with one hand. Head tilting upwards, you smile at your boyfriend, his features slightly scrunched in concentration. Unable to help yourself, you lean up and press a kiss to the bottom of his jaw. The moment your lips brush his skin, the corners of Jungkook’s lips twitch before he twists his head and presses a kiss to the temple of your head.

Arms wrapping around his waist, you lean your head on his bicep, “find anything yet?” you ask, Jungkook humming in response.

“We could use a blowtorch,” he replies casually.

“Do you have a blowtorch?”

“Fair enough. We could smack it against the wall using something to cushion it.”

“And risk breaking the bottle? No thanks.” Like that, Jungkook continues reading out suggestions: from pumping it out using a bicycle tire pump, all the way to slapping it out with a shoe, only for you to refute them. Eventually, however, with no other option, you and Jungkook eventually try using a screwdriver. Which brings you to now, almost fifteen minutes later.

“Oh my god, I think I’ve got it,” Jungkook yells in triumph. You’re currently sat on the kitchen island, your legs dangling as you watch your boyfriend struggle with the bottle. About five minutes after attempting to open the bottle, you’d conceded defeat. Your boyfriend, however, is much more competitive than you are, and he’d downright refused to let the bottle win. Thus, for the last ten minutes, you’d watched your boyfriend futilely dig, and twist, the screwdriver into the cork.

Quirking your eyebrow at your boyfriend, your eyes rove over him. He’s currently stood with a victorious grin, the apples of his cheeks bunched up around his eyes. He’s holding out the wine bottle, the metal head of the screwdriver stuck into the neck of the bottle. Hell, the cork isn’t even in one piece anymore - bits and pieces of it littered on the floor around him from where Jungkook had dug it out in an attempt to bury the screwdriver into the wood stopper.

“Have you now?” you drawl sarcastically. It certainly doesn’t look like he’s got it. For one, the cork is still in the bottle.

Sneering at your snide tone, “Watch this!” Jungkook calls out, and then, grabbing the handle of the tool, he pulls as hard as he can. A loud pop resounds through the air and you startle slightly, watching as Jungkook holds the screwdriver - with half the cork attached to it - in the air.

“Oh my god! You did it!” you call in surprise, jumping off the table and walking towards him.

Puffing out his chest, “and you didn’t believe in me! But I did it anyway,” Jungkook says proudly.

You roll your eyes before gesturing to the half-broken cork, “yeah barely.”

“Tomato, tomato. Potato, potato. The point is, I did it, and we can have wine now” Jungkook replies. With another roll of your eyes, you cross his kitchen and pull two wine glasses out of his cupboard.

“Yeah, yeah. My knight in shining suit. Now come on! I’ve literally been waiting twenty-five minutes to drink this,” you say, holding out the glasses towards him. Nodding, Jungkook pours the wine, filling the tumblers halfway before placing the bottle back on the island.

He takes the glasses from your hand, placing them on the dining table and you follow him, placing the plates of food onto the table. The two of you take seats opposite each other, Jungkook raising his glass towards you in a salute. For a few moments, the two of you tuck into your food, the muffled sounds of your joint chewing filling the air.

Then, “this steak is cold,” you grumble, a grimace settling on your face. In hindsight, after spending all that time trying to open the wine, the two of you should have heated your food - but in the triumph of actually opening the wine, you’d both forgotten.

“Yeah, and this wine is fucking gross,” Jungkook gripes, his own features twisting in disgust. Blinking owlishly, you reach for your own glass, sipping the burgundy liquid. The minute it washes over your tastebuds, you find yourself gagging. It’s sour - the acrid stench of it only burning your nasal cavity and intensifying the bitterness of the wine.

Forcibly, you swallow it down before spitting and sputtering into your hand, “yeah, and it’s got pieces of cork in it. Gross, what a waste of a hundred and fifty thousand won,” you scowl. Immediately, Jungkook baulks.

“A hundred and fifty thousand won? For that trash?” Jungkook yells in incredulity. You look at him in surprise, the two of you simply staring at each other. Then, all of a sudden, the two of you burst out laughing. Neither of you has any real reason for why you’re both laughing. Perhaps it was the ridiculous price of the incredibly poortasting wine, perhaps it was that Jungkook had spent a good fifteen minutes struggling with said wine or perhaps it was because even after all that struggle, neither of you could stomach the taste. Either way, the absurdity of the situation isn’t lost on either of you, and you both can’t help but laugh hysterically.

“Man, I can’t believe you spent that much money on that shit,” Jungkook giggles, wiping away at his tears.

Lower lip pulled between your teeth, you grin at Jungkook, “I can’t believe you spent so much time trying to open it,” you quip. Shaking your heads, you both resume eating your food, forgoing the wine.

Once the two of you are done, you help Jungkook clear the table. Jungkook watches you throw out the leftovers before placing the plates into the sink. The kitchen lights are dimmed low, the amber light reflecting off of your skin and silhouetting you in its glow. The bright walls off his kitchen only help to highlight your body, the hem of your dress swishing around your thighs with every movement. His darkened, lust-filled gaze rakes over you and he can’t help but swallow thickly when his eyes rest on the smooth curve of your ass.

Helpless against his desire for you, you feel Jungkook’s arms wrap around your body. Loosely, his hands rest on your hips, the pads of his fingertips gently digging into your flesh. “Do you wanna head to bed?” Jungkook asks, his voice breathy as he begins peppering kisses along the column of your neck. You raise your eyebrow at his sudden change in demeanour. Nevertheless, you’d be lying if you said his light, attentive touch wasn’t clouding your head in hazy lust.

“All of a sudden?” you ask, your tone light and teasing. Jungkook responds by digging his fingers harder into your hips, pulling them back so your ass is flush against his crotch.

“If I’m being honest, I’ve wanted to get you out of this dress as soon as I saw you in it. You look beautiful. I love you so much,” Jungkook rasps in response, lightly nipping at the sensitive flesh just below your earlobe. Twisting in his hold, you wind your hands around his neck, carding your fingers through his hair at the back of his nape before lightly playing with the locks.

“I love you too,” you breathe out, “take me to bed and I’ll show you how much,” you breathlessly whisper back. A shuddering exhale escaping his lips, Jungkook’s mouth descends onto yours. Instantly, the two of you lose yourselves into each other; the wine bottle long forgotten.

“Jungkook? Are you even paying attention to me?” Jihye suddenly calls out, her hands waving in front of his face. Blinking blankly, Jungkook’s vision comes back into focus. He looks around his apartment - it’s still the same as it was two years ago. The kitchen lights are still low, and his walls are bright, and that same bottle of wine sits on his marble counter - practically mocking him - but you’re not here. It’s not you standing in his kitchen.

“I- you need to leave,” Jungkook chokes out, his voice hoarse and his throat thick with emotion. Jihye looks at him in dumbfounded bewilderment. She opens her mouth to argue, but then stops, her words dying on her lips. Taking in Jungkook’s distant gaze, Jihye notices his attention is once again on the bottle. With a scoff, she rolls her eyes before snorting. Then, grabbing her purse, she stalks out of his apartment - but not before slamming the door.

Jungkook doesn’t care.

Instead, he stares at the dark bottle of wine. His reflection glints back at him, his distorted face mirroring the despair and sadness etched onto his face. Once again, he loses himself into his memories. Memories of when the two of you were still together, memories of you smiling at him, of you kissing him, memories of the two of you, when you were both happy - and together. But not anymore. Now, those memories that he’d once cherished - once taken for granted - are tainted: bruised and tarnished with the restless memories of you leaving; of you walking out of this very same apartment and leaving him all alone.

The warm memories that had once been his saving grace, now leave him cold, with a deep ache in his chest.

With one final glance at the bottle, Jungkook buries his head in his hands, and then lets out a heartwrenching sob.

In the comfort of your own home, you lie in your bed, staring up into nothingness. The bedroom is completely bathed in darkness, not even a single sliver of moonlight peeking in through the blackout-blinds you had installed. After your third anniversary with Jungkook, you’d moved in with him, and your ex-boyfriend had hated any and every inkling of light while he was trying to sleep. He simply couldn’t sleep unless he was in complete darkness. Of course, after two years of living with him, you’d also gotten used to it - and now, you aren’t able to sleep without complete darkness either.

Yet, you still aren’t able to sleep. There are many reasons for your lack of sleep. Many of them are to do with your ex-boyfriend. It’s been just over half a year since you and Jungkook broke up. Almost eight months now since you walked out of his life. Eight months since you reluctantly broke off your five-year relationships. But you had no choice. You and Jungkook had wanted different things in life and though heartbreaking, you knew it was best for the two of you to go your separate ways then and there.

Of course, knowing that didn’t make it any easier. Nor does it help qualm the crushing bitterness, nor the misery, you feel at Jungkook’s absence in your life.

Though, you figure, those feelings are a given. After all, the two of you had been together for five whole years. Five years is a long time to spend with someone - and for the entirety of those years, Jungkook had been your one and only - the man you had loved with your entire heart. The man you still love with all your heart. It’s not like you could just forget five years of love in a day - nor in eight months. Hell, you don’t think you could forget him, nor the love you feel for him, in your entire lifetime.

Thus, in the absolute dark of your bedroom, you stare up at the ceiling. Though, you don’t really see it. No, all you see is darkness. A low sigh escapes your lips and you shift on your bed, trying to find a comfortable position. But try as you might, you simply can’t find one. And it has every reason to do with the man occupying your bed - if you remove your residual feelings for Jungkook out of the picture. Tilting your head slightly, you turn to your side. Even in the darkness, you can make out the obscure outline of your current boyfriend’s - though you use that term loosely, because really, he’s a family friend you’ve known a while and your mother had set you up with - face as he snores lightly. With another sigh, you turn your head back to stare at the ceiling.

Other than thoughts of Jungkook, one of the main reasons you can’t sleep is: you’re on the wrong side of the bed. For as long as you’d been with Jungkook, even before you lived together, Jungkook had always slept on the left, and you’d slept on the right. It wasn’t like you’d purposely decided on that, it’s just how it had worked out. Jungkook always slept on the left, and you on the right - before the two of you had even met. And after you’d met? Well, it had just clicked - as if the two of you were made for each other.

But now, you’re on the left.

And Minhyuk is on the right.

And it’s not right. Nor does it feel right. In more than one sense of the word.

Shifting once again, you lowly groan when a sting of pain shoots through your lower abdomen, bringing you to another reason you can’t sleep. You’re on your period, and with your period, comes the cursed cramps. No matter how much you try, you simply can’t seem to find a comfortable position to lie in. That, paired with the fact that you’re on the wrong side of the bed, and the plaguing thoughts of Jungkook, has insomnia gripping at your head. Momentarily, you’d considered getting up and heating up a hot water bottle to soothe your pain, but you simply can’t find it in yourself to get out of bed - not when moving only seemed to fuel the fire in the pits of your uterus.

Once again, you turn to Minhyuk. Briefly, you consider waking him up and asking him to bring you the hot water bottle, and you even open your mouth to call him. But then, you pause, the words dying on your lips as your throat constricts. This scene is almost too familiar to you, and in the dark of your bedroom, you can’t stop your mind from wandering to the past.

Flashback - two years ago

Shifting uncomfortably, you’re woken from your sleep by the searing pain in your lower abdomen. Through the haze of your sleep, you let out quiet whimpers and continue shuffling in bed, trying to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep in. However, try as you might, you simply can’t seem to find one. This time, when you shift again, you feel Jungkook’s arm lazily wrap around you.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jungkook asks while shuffling closer towards him. His words cause you to still, your shoulders relaxing as you feel his warm presence surround you. Your boyfriend moves his head to just over your shoulder, his hand sluggishly rubbing circles over your stomach. He nudges your t-shirt to the side - really, it’s his - and presses a tender kiss to the skin of your shoulder that he’s just exposed. Before you can even say anything, or alert him to exactly what is wrong, “do you have bad cramps again?” he sighs out. Despite your pain, you find your face softening, a soft smile curling on your lips at the sleepy tone of his voice.

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t wanna wake you up,” you reply lowly. Jungkook only shakes his head, his long hair tickling the flesh of your collarbone.

“Tis okay,” Jungkook slurs sleepily. Then, before you can tell him to go back to sleep, Jungkook is already crawling out of bed. You hear a loud thud, followed by a pained groan, “I’m okay. I just- didn’t see the end of the bed,” Jungkook mumbles through the haziness of his sleep. Instantly, his words cause concern to well up in your chest, however, before you can ask him if he’s okay, he’s leaving your bedroom.

Left alone, you flick the lamp on your bedside table on and sit up in bed with a wince. You take in short, deep breath, trying your best to soothe the vengeful cramps in the pit of your stomach. If you didn’t know better, you’d almost think your uterus was tying itself into knots. Another sharp sting and you let out a low whimper, doubling over in pain as you clutch your stomach.

Moments later, you feel a hand soothingly rub your lower back as your boyfriend - now more awake - crouches down beside your side of the bed. Large, doe eyes stare at you in concern as he passes you your hot water bottle. “Here you go, baby,” Jungkook says softly, placing the fuzzy bottle on your lower stomach. The warm heat instantly soothes your cramps, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you feel the pain begin to subside.

“Thank you,” you rasp out, but Jungkook only shakes his head. Then, he thrusts his hand and a glass in front of your face.

When you quirk your eyebrow at him, “painkillers,” Jungkook merely responds. Your face crumples, your heart speeding up in your chest. Gratefully, you accept the pills from him, popping them in your mouth before chugging down the glass of water. When you’re done, Jungkook takes the glass from your hand and places it back onto your bedside table. Once done, he helps you shift back down into a laying position as he tucks you into bed. Then, he crawls under the sheets himself.

You feel the left side of the bed shift before Jungkook slides in. Rolling closer to you, he presses his chest against your back while throwing an arm to rest loosely over your waist. Lazily, he rubs his hand over your hips, soothingly massaging the skin while pressing tender kisses to the back of your shoulder. “Are you feeling better?” Jungkook mumbles. His voice is low, heavy with sleep, and you can’t help but shudder as it reverberates through your eardrum.

“Mmm. Much better. Thank you,” you whisper back, more than grateful at his thoughtful gestures. If there was one thing you absolutely adored about Jungkook, it would be his utter thoughtfulness. More often than not, you just wouldn’t need to tell him what was wrong; after almost four years together, he could simply read you like a book. He knew what you wanted and when you wanted it. He knew when to leave you alone, or when to help you. He could read your moods as if he was well versed in all things that surrounded you. More than anything, however, Jungkook was simply empathetic towards you - and it made you fall for him all the more.

“I love you,” you whisper, the words easily falling from your lips. You feel Jungkook’s lips curl against your shoulder, an indolent smile playing at his lips.

Without even a moment of hesitation, “I love you too,” he mumbles back. Then, the two of you fall back into silence: with you clutching the hot water bottle to your uterus, and Jungkook genially rubbing circles into the flesh of your hips.

Another sharp pain ricochets through your uterus, pulling you out of your reverie. A low whimper escapes your throat and you shift in bed again. However, unlike Jungkook, Minhyuk stays fast asleep. Once again, you contemplate waking him up and you don’t want to, but the pain is almost too much. Before you can stop yourself, “Minhyuk?” you whimper out while gently shaking him.

Minhyuk lets out a groggy groan before, “what’s wrong, ____?” he asks, his voice heavily laden with sleep.

“C-can you go into the kitchen and get me my hot water bottle, please? I’ve got really bad cramps,” you whisper hoarsely. Minhyuk only groans in response.

“____… I’ve got to wake up for work in three hours. Can you not get it yourself?” Minhyuk asks sleepily. There’s no malice in his tone, nor upset or anger, just drowsy question - and you know he doesn’t mean anything by it - but still, you can’t help the way your stomach drops at his words. Biting your lip, you suck in a sharp breath, the movement making you whimper in pain again. Clearly, Minhyuk hears the sound escape your lips, because he’s sliding out of bed - albeit begrudgingly - and leaving your bedroom.

Five minutes later, he walks back and passes you the hot water bottle. With a small voice, you thank him, Minhyuk grunting in response. The right side of the mattress tilts and you feel Minhyuk slide back into bed. “Goodnight,” Minhyuk mumbles, though you can tell he’s already falling asleep again. Briefly, he pecks your cheek before turning his back towards you. Short moments later, his light snores fill the quiet air of the night, leaving you alone once again.

Chewing your lip, you place the hot water bottle onto your stomach, allowing the warm, soothing sensation to assuage the pain of your cramps. Your mind casts back to Jungkook, and the way he took care of you on nights like this, and then you turn to Minhyuk once again. You can still feel his lips on your cheek - from where he’d kissed you - but it’s not the same. Minhyuk is nice, and though reluctantly, he still got out of bed to get you your water bottle.

But it’s not the same.

It’s not the same when he kisses you on the cheek, or brings you your water bottle. It’s not the same when he buys you flowers, or takes you out to dinner. It’s not the same when he kisses you, or when you sleep together. It’s not the same, because while nice, all of his gestures are empty. There’s no love in them, no thoughtfulness, no passion. Minhyuk is nice - and he does things out of nicety - but he also does them out of obligation.

And it’s not the same.

Because there is no love in them.

Because he’s not Jungkook.

Because he won’t ever be.

A month and a half later, you find yourself nervously staring at the brass-gold number plates of your brother’s apartment. You haven’t seen Hoseok in a few months - well, nine months to be exact. Nine months on this day. Wow. It’s really been nine months since you broke up with Jungkook, huh? It definitely feels like it’s been longer. If anything, it feels like an eternity. Though, you suppose, it must, since you’d gone from spending almost every day with him to suddenly not seeing him. It had been hard, and multiple times, you’ve wondered if you should just go back - but you know you can’t. You’d broken up for reasons - serious reasons - reasons that had meant a lot to you.

All these months, you’ve tried avoiding him as best as you could. Anything and everything that was within your power, you had done: from avoiding all of your friends because they reminded you too much of him, to moving to a different part of the city just to avoid running into him by chance. It had been hard, and god had it hurt - stillhurts - but you knew you had to do it. But now, standing in front of your brother’s apartment, you know you can no longer run from him anymore. Today is Hoseok’s birthday - and you know he’d be heartbroken if you didn’t turn up.

But you also know Jungkook will be here - because there’s no way Hoseok hadn’t invited him.

Funnily enough, you’d met Jungkook because of Hoseok. The two of them had met at the swimming club in your university, and the two had gotten along well. At first, you’d been fearful of admitting to Hoseok that you were seeing Jungkook - but to your utter surprise, your older brother just hadn’t cared. He liked Jungkook and he trusted Jungkook to treat you right - and he had. For five years, Jungkook had been the best, sweetest, most perfect boyfriend anyone could have asked for. Until that day. That fateful day, nine months ago, when you’d walked out of his apartment - and consequently his life.

“____? You okay?” Minhyuk asks, waving his hand in front of your space. Pulled out of your thoughts, you stare at your boyfriend - though once again, you use the term loosely. Minhyuk stares at you in confusion before gesturing to the door. The very same door you’d been blankly staring at while reminiscing about your brother and boyfriend. Looking at Minhyuk, you can’t help the way your stomach tosses at the sight of him.

Momentarily, you wonder what Hoseok would say. Hoseok absolutely adored Jungkook - to the point where you’d find your brother cuddling with your boyfriend, or kissing his forehead. You shudder just thinking about it. That had been a funny day. One day, you’d decided to surprise your boyfriend by spontaneously turning up at his apartment. However, to your utter surprise, you’d turned up just to see your boyfriend and your brother snuggling while watching Netflix. Sure, it was a cute sight, and ordinarily, you would have been touched. If it weren’t for the fact that your brother was cuddling your boyfriend.

So yes, suffice to say the least, Hoseok absolutely loved Jungkook - and throughout your entire relationship, he’d completely rooted and supported the two of you. Even when you and Jungkook would fight, even when you’d drive each other crazy, Hoseok would speak to the both of you and calm you down and make you see reason. Reason being that you both loved each other. Which is why, dread settles in your stomach as you stare blankly at Minhyuk. Once again, you wonder what Hoseok would say. You know he knows that you’re seeing Minhyuk - your mother has to have told him.

But knowing and seeing are two different things and you have no idea how he’ll react to Minhyuk. You love your brother, you really, really do - but Hoseok has a bad habit of not being able to bite his tongue - and that paired with the fact that he absolutely loved Jungkook - and still does - has trepidation settling deep within your stomach. It doesn’t help that it’s so soon after you and Jungkook broke up either. Nor does it help that Hoseok already knows Minhyuk - he is the son of your mother’s friend after all. But you’re twenty-seven now and you’re not getting any younger and you have to move on with your life. Whether that be with Jungkook or not. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely distraught that it turned out to be without your sweet boyfriend. Or well, ex-boyfriend, you remind yourself.

Once again, Minhyuk looks at you expectantly. Drawing in every ounce of courage you can muster, you take in a deep breath and then knock on your brother’s door. You don’t know how long it takes Hoseok to answer. Realistically, you know it’s only mere moments - but that doesn’t stop it feeling like an excruciating eternity.

The moment Hoseok’s door swings open, you’re met with the sight of your brother. Smiling shyly at him, you awkwardly wave, “Hey Hobi,” you greet. However, Hoseok isn’t looking at you. No, he’s looking at the taller man stood next to you. Shuffling from foot to foot, your gaze flits back and forth from your brother to Minhyuk. Minhyuk for the most of it, looks a little lost and unsure of himself or what to say. Oppositely, your brother simply stares at Minhyuk, looking him up and down, his face a picture of passiveness and his usually warm gaze completely guarded.

“H-Hobi?” you choke out, clearing your throat as you try to get your brother’s attention. Hoseok blinks for a minute and then turns to you.

Momentarily, he regards you with his passive gaze before his lips quirk, and then suddenly, he’s beaming and pulling you into a hug. “____! I’ve missed you!” you brother practically screams, and despite the slight wince as he almost bursts your eardrums, you find yourself letting out a breath of air you hadn’t even known you’d been holding. The minute your brother envelops you in his arms, you feel yourself getting choked up - you’d missed his warmth. You’d desperately craved his affection when you’d broken up with Jungkook, but you had no idea what to say to him - or even how to approach him.

“Come on in. It’s a pretty quiet thing. There’s booze and snacks in the kitchen just help yourself to it, music’s mainly in the living room if you just wanna chill but if you need somewhere more quiet, the balcony or spare bedroom are available. ____ will tell you where to hang up your coats,” Hoseok says, smiling at Minhyuk. You bite your lip at Hoseok’s tone - it may not be obvious to others, but you know your brother like the back of your hand, and you can see the stiffness in his smile, and the chilled politeness in his tone. “Let’s catch up later on, yeah?” Hoseok says, turning back to you. Stiffly, you nod at him, already knowing he wants to talk about Jungkook.

Both you and Minhyuk enter Hoseok’s apartment and you can’t help the dismay that streaks through you. Hoseok wasn’t kidding when he said it’s a pretty quiet affair. About twenty people are milling about, the low thrumming bass of Hoseok’s music vibrating through the air. It’s loud enough to be heard throughout the apartment; not enough to cause the neighbours to complain, but more than enough to not really be able to have a decent conversation with someone.

Scattered about the crowd are a few people you recognise - Namjoon: Hoseok’s best friend from high school, and of course, Seokjin and Yoongi - his other best friends from college. Momentarily, you spot Jimin and you find yourself reeling at the familiar face. He’d been Hoseok’s friend from dance school when your brother was still in middle school. Your eyes continue scanning over the crowd before you find yourself stopping.

A rush of heat courses through your veins, the rushing of blood resounding through your eardrums when you spot Kim Taehyung - Hoseok and Jungkook’s other friend from swim team. But it’s not Taehyung that has you stopping. No, it’s who he’s speaking to.

Jungkook.

Knees buckling at the mere sight of him, your face crumples with the weight of your emotions. It’s only been nine months, and yet he looks so different from the last day you’d seen him. His hair is much longer now - so long that it falls into his eyes and you watch how he flicks the soft strands of hair out of his face. The motion of his hair practically mesmerises you and you can’t find it in yourself to look away from him. With his smooth caramel skin, soft features and gently sloping lips, he has your heart constricting between your ribcage.

Then you spot it. The black leather jacket. The same one you’d gotten him as a birthday gift four years ago. It’s still preserved beautifully, not a single piece out of place. The leather still shines like it’s brand new, and it still sits on his body as well as it did the first time you gifted it to him. Taehyung says something and Jungkook laughs in response, and the moment that he does, you let out an inaudible gasp. His head falls back, his features twisting into an expression of pure joy while his bunny-esque teeth are put on display. He looks happy - carefree - and you can’t help the sting of nostalgia that spikes through you. The music is loud, and you can barely hear anything. But somehow, his laugh resounds in your ear: ingrained in the memory of your eardrums as it plays like a record, over and over, while you watch him.

“You wanna get a drink?” Minhyuk asks. Instantly, your world comes crashing around you, and you turn to your current paramour. Blinking owlishly, you stare at him in confusion. He’s awfully close to you - a mere hair’s breadth away from you and instinctively, you find yourself backing away. Minhyuk looks at you oddly, and with a sheepish look, you nod to him. You’d gladly accept something to drink - you know you’ll need it if you wanted to survive the night.

An hour later, you find yourself standing over the Seoul city skyline. Leant up against the glass railing of Hoseok’s balcony, you simply stare at the sunset painted across Seoul. The large skyscraper buildings obscure most of it, the artificial bright lights dimming the dusky colours of twilight - but you don’t mind so much. Even obscured by the towering modern glass buildings, the dark shades of amaranth, copper and violet vividly paint the sky enough for you to take it all in.

“You okay out here?” comes a soft voice but you don’t need to turn around to see who it is. You could recognise your brother’s voice in a heartbeat.

Humming non-committally, “fine. I just... needed some space, I guess,” you mumble out with a sigh. If you’re being completely honest, you wanted space from Minhyuk. The minute he noticed your gaze on Jungkook, something in him changed - he’d become a tad overbearing, not to mention that he hasn’t left you alone all night. His sudden attachment wouldn’t have been a problem - if it weren’t the fact that you’d been maudlin about seeing Jungkook again. Thus, while he was busy entertaining a small crowd of Hoseok’s friends, you’d slipped out from under his nose and isolated yourself onto the balcony.

A loud chorus of laughs rolls across the quiet balcony and you let out another sigh. Hoseok leans against the railing next to you as he faces his apartment. “Minhyuk seems to be doing well,” comes Hoseok’s casual voice.

Another sigh, “please don’t,” you whisper. You already know where Hoseok’s going with this. Turning his back to his apartment, Hoseok joins you in basking under the quickly setting sun.

“What happened? You never told me, and Jungkook… well, Jungkook refuses to talk about it. To talk about you,” Hoseok sighs. Through your peripheral vision, you note the almost defeated look in Hoseok’s eyes. Heart clenching at his words, you grip your beer can tighter while staring dully into the distance. You don’t blame Jungkook for not talking about you - you haven’t spoken about him either. Sure, you think about him. Every. Single. Day. But thinking about him and speaking about him are two different things - the latter of which is far too painful.

When you don’t respond to his question, Hoseok simply sighs. “Okay fine, we don’t have to talk about that. But-” he begins.

Before he can continue, however, you turn and look at him, “Hobi, can we just not speak about this?” you ask quietly. Your brother looks at you pointedly, his eyes scrutinising you. With your slumped shoulders and the desperation in your eyes, Hoseok finds his eyes softening. Instantly, he wraps his arms around you, pressing your head to his chest. Automatically, you own arms wrap around him and you bask in your brother’s comforting embrace.

“You still love him,” Hoseok breathes out. There’s not a single hint of accusation in his tone, just plain understanding. More than that, it’s not a question; it’s a statement. One that has your fists curling tighter into his shirt, your shoulders tensing. You wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t say anything else. Rather, he just holds you, letting you seek as much solace as you need from his hold. Frozen in his hug, you breathe deeply as you try to hold yourself together.

Eventually, you find the strength to pull away. Hoseok looks at you with gentle eyes. “Are you happy, at least? With Minhyuk?” Hoseok asks. Opening your mouth, you move to reply, but find yourself stopping. Eyebrows furrowed, your face contorts marginally as you consider Hoseok’s question. Are you happy? Honestly? You have no idea. You haven’t felt any real happiness since you walked out on Jungkook - but you’d chalked it up to the fact that you were still getting over him.

Hesitancy evident in every fibre of your being, Hoseok looks at you pointedly. “Alright. You don’t have to reply because I already know the answer to that,” Hoseok  sighs. He pauses for a moment, and you can see the uncertainty in his eyes. Yet, he continues anyway, “I know mom pushed you towards Minhyuk,” Hoseok begins, causing your eyes to widen. You open your mouth to reply, however, he cuts you off once again, “But I trust you to do the right thing. Not for anyone, but for yourself. You’re strong, ____, but you’re also smart. Smart enough to know what you want,” Hoseok finishes. Before you can reply to him, however, you hear the balcony doors sliding open.

The two of you turn around to the newcomer, your heart fluttering when you see Jungkook. “Oh. Sorry, I’ll leave,” Jungkook quickly says, already turning around. Abruptly, however, Hoseok walks up to Jungkook before clapping him on the back.

“Nah it’s okay. I was just heading inside. You can keep ____ company if you want,” Hoseok says brightly. Internally, you despair at your brother’s words. What the fuck was he thinking? Nonetheless, before either of you can say anything, Hoseok disappears back into his apartment, consequently leaving you and Jungkook alone.

Jungkook turns to you nervously, and you can practically feel the hesitancy exuding off of him in thick waves. Pulling your lower lip between your teeth, you send him an awkward smile before gesturing for him to join you. Jungkook looks at you in a mix of worry and trepidation, but ultimately, takes Hoseok’s space beside you. The two of you stand in silence, facing the Seoul city skyline as you stare at nothing. Frazzled by his presence, you internally grasp for something to say, anything to break the thick awkward tension that surrounds the two of you.

Then, all of a sudden: “How have you been?”, “So, what’s up?”, you and Jungkook ask at the same time. You stare at each other in surprise for a couple of moments. Then, all of a sudden, you both burst out laughing.

“God, this is so weird,” Jungkook says, running a hand through his hair. Biting your lip, you nod in agreement before turning back to look at the cityscape.

With the tension broken, “so, how have you been?” you find yourself asking. From the corner of your eye, you notice Jungkook shrug listlessly.

“I’ve been… okay, I guess. How about you?”

“Fine. Alright. I guess,” you reply, mirroring his previous sentiment. They’re simple niceties - and you both know there’s a hint of deception in both your words - but neither of you says anything about it. Once again, the two of you fall into silence. Though, this time, the atmosphere isn’t thick with floundering awkwardness. Rather, it’s thick with confusion and uncertainty. Where do you go from here? What do you even say to your ex-boyfriend - one you still have feelings for?

Deciding to take a chance, “how’s work? I saw that your company released a new game,” you finally say. Jungkook’s head snaps towards you, his eyebrow rising at your question.

“You keep up to date with my company?” he asks. The incredulity in his voice surprises you and you look at him pointedly.

“Of course I do. That company means a big deal to you,” you reply easily. Despite the situation, Jungkook finds himself chuckling, even as his heart constraints at the thought of you checking up on him - even if it’s from afar.

“Yeah. It’s doing really well. Made me a lot of money. How about you? Dohyun from your department still being an ass because you’re the one who got promoted or?” Jungkook questions casually, causing you to laugh.

“Ah, man. Gotta love Dohyun. No, yeah. He’s still being an ass - but at least he doesn’t openly question my authority anymore,” you reply with an easy smile. Then, “actually, I have you to thank for that,” you softly say.

Jungkook looks at you in surprise, “me?”

Nodding, “yeah. I took your advice and threatened to fire him if he ever publicly undermined me again. That shut him up pretty quickly,” you chuckle. Jungkook snorts, the two of you laughing.

“Good! He deserves it. I know he has a problem working under a woman, but man, you deserved that promotion. You were far better qualified than him,” Jungkook compliments. Ducking shyly, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ears before smiling gently at him.

“Thanks. It means a lot,” you mumble under your breath, making Jungkook shake his head.

“No. ____, I’m serious. No one deserved it more than you. You worked so hard for it. There were days I was even worried about the stress you were under because you’d forget to eat, or you wouldn’t sleep. But I guess it was worth it in the end, because you got the promotion,” Jungkook responds. Then, he pauses, a teasing smile playing at the corners of his lips, “even if it meant there were days you’d ignore me,” Jungkook sighs dramatically. That causes you to snort, and before you can stop yourself, you playfully smack his arm.

“Hey! I gave you lots of attention. Or did you forget that time when I skipped work just so we could play hooky and go snowboarding?” you ask. Jungkook bites his lips, a tinkling giggle escaping his lips at the memory.

“Oh, that was good. You were terrible, and you fell so much I was worried you’d break something,” Jungkook reminisces, a soft sigh following his words.

Giggling to yourself, “Yeah, well we can’t all just pick up a sport and instinctively be good at them,” you snort in response.

“You’re right. Really, it’s a curse being perfect at everything,” Jungkook nods sagely in agreement. Jaw dropping, you look at him in amazement before the two of you burst out laughing.

Suddenly, a new voice breaks “What’s going on here?”

Turning around, you freeze at the sight of Minhyuk. Alternating between looking at you and Jungkook, Minhyuk’s face is a picture of passiveness, his lips set in a thin, grim line. At the sight of Minhyuk, you sense Jungkook deflate, the easy atmosphere once again thickening with tension.

“Minhyuk… this is-” you begin, ready to introduce the two. However, Minhyuk snorts.

“Yes. This is Jungkook, your ex-boyfriend. I know. Which begs the question, why are you alone out here with your ex while I’m inside?” Minhyuk asks. You reel at the accusatory tone in his voice as you double-take.

“Excuse me? We’re just out here speaking,” you exclaim and once again, Minhyuk snorts.

“It looked a little more than that,” he points out. Jaw dropping in bewilderment, you scoff at him, your eyes narrowing into thin slits.

“Uh, I think I should leave the two of you alone,” Jungkook says quietly as he begins making his way towards the balcony door.

Seeing him walk away breaks your heart, and you want to tell him to stay. Nevertheless, you know you have no right to. Not now anyway, when you have bigger problems at hand. Bigger problems namely being Minhyuk. “What’s your problem?” you ask, directing your attention to your boyfriend.

“My problem is that despite the fact that you’re going to be marrying me, you’re out here with the ex that you were seeing for five years. How do you think that makes me look?” Minhyuk argues back. At Minhyuk’s words, Jungkook finds his blood freezing as he’s brought to an abrupt halt - just before he can escape the balcony. You, yourself, are at a loss of something to say.

“We’ve barely been seeing each other for two months! Why are you bringing that up now?” you cry in astonishment. Really, where had the come from?

“But isn’t that why our mother’s set us up? Because we’re both looking to get married? Isn’t that where this is supposed to be going? Yet, here you are. With your ex-boyfriend. Who you’ve paid more attention to than me this entire night, by the way,” Minhyuk points out. Spluttering at his words, your cheeks heat as you know you’ve been caught. The hairs on your arms stand erect, and immediately, you know that Jungkook is staring at you - but you refuse to look at him. You don’t want to see the expression on his face right now.

Instead, you decide to keep your attention directly on Minhyuk, “yes, this is where it’s supposed to be going, but-” you reply, only for Minhyuk to cut you off once again.

“But nothing. I like you, a lot. And I know we’ve only known each other two months, but I can see us having a life together. Is that not what you want? Isn’t that the reason we’re together in the first place? Do you not want to marry me? Say you’ll marry me and I’ll drop this right now,” Minhyuk finally says, his previous anger and insecurity at seeing you and Jungkook together dissipating. He levels you with his sincere gaze, the unanswered ultimatum heavy in the air.

Unable to help yourself any longer, you momentarily shift your gaze to Jungkook. It’s brief - barely a second - but it’s all you need. The utter look of despair is clearly evident on his face, a mixture of heartbreak and anguish painted so very clearly across his features. It reminds you of the day you’d broken up with him; reminds you of how he’d looked when you’d walked out on him.

Flashback - nine months ago

One lazy Sunday, you find yourself in the apartment you share with your boyfriend. The two of you are sprawled on the couch, barely dressed: Jungkook with only his boxers and socks, and you in his large t-shirt and panties. You’d both considered getting dressed, but had decided against it - especially since neither of you had any plans to leave the house. Hence, you find yourself pressed against Jungkook, your back comfortably flush against his strong chest, your head easily finding the perfect resting spot in the crook where his collarbone meets his neck.

Absentmindedly, Jungkook plays with the hem of your underwear, fiddling with elasticated lace as you scroll through Netflix. The film titles pass in a blur as you look for something to watch. Catching the attention of one title, you can't help but fixate on it for a bit. "Kook?" you call out to your boyfriend softly. You angle your head to look up at him while shifting your head onto his shoulder, so you can see him clearly. Jungkook hums non-committally as he glances at you from the corner of his eyes.

"What's up, sweetheart? Wait- if this is just to ask me if we can watch Zootropolis again, you know my answer is always yes," Jungkook says, his eyes twinkling in excitement. A light giggle escapes your lips but you shake your head.

"No. I just- we've been together five years now, yes?" you ask, turning your head back to stare at the TV. Jungkook's eyebrows furrow slightly, and he moves his head so he can better look at you.

"Yes? What about it?"

"Well-" you begin. Briefly you pause, worrying your lower lip, "do you think we'll get married?" you breathe out. Jungkook stills, the hand that had been mindlessly playing with the lace material of your underwear coming to a halt.

"What?" he asks, his chest rumbling under you.

"Well, have you thought about us getting married? Like, we've been together a while now, but I don't think we've ever really spoken about it," you sigh out. Ideally, you wanted to marry Jungkook - because, after five years, you're sure he's the one for you.

"Honestly?" Jungkook asks. Anxiousness pools in the pits of your stomach as you hear the slight trepidation in his voice. It's barely there - but you know Jungkook well enough to spot the tell-tale sign of his worriment.

"Honestly," you reiterate his statement, letting him know you want nothing but the truth.

Jungkook sighs, "honestly, I've never really thought about it," he breathes out. Immediately, you jerk, sitting up as you twist to look at him. Shifting so you're in a more comfortable position, you sit on his stomach, your thighs straddling his waist. Instinctively, Jungkook's hands fall onto your thighs. You look at him in a mixture of shock and disbelief, Jungkook returning his own expectant gaze.

"You've never thought about us getting married?" you sputter out, completely baffled by his words. How has he not thought about it? You've been together five years now. That's an awfully long time - surely, he's thought about it at some point. Not to mention, you're both twenty-seven now, almost thirty. So how has he not thought about it? You know you have. In fact, you dream about the day you walk down the aisle, Jungkook on the other side. Hell, you dream about a life with him; a family - because you know he's all you want.

"Sweetheart-" Jungkook starts, and you look pointedly at him, "listen- it's nothing to do with you. It's just, we're still young. I do love you, you know that, but I just never really thought about it," he continues. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you cock your head in question.

"Never?" you enquire. Jungkook simply shrugging.

"Not really," comes his simple reply.

“How?” you question, looking at him in confusion. Distinctly, you remember having light conversations with Jungkook. Conversations where you’d joke about being married, conversations about your wedding or your future together.

“What do you mean how?” Jungkook asks dumbly, causing you to frown.

“I mean- I know we’ve joked about it before. I’ve mentioned wanting to get married before, I know I have,” you point out.

“Yeah… but I thought you were joking and other than that, I’ve never seriously thought about it,” Jungkook says casually. You suck in a sharp breath at his words. He hadn’t ever seriously considered it? Fear settles in your stomach at his words. You’d always just assumed you and Jungkook would eventually get married - but he hadn’t ever seriously thought about it?

"Well... do you want to get married?" you ask plainly. Jungkook smirks at you, the corners of his lips twisting into a teasing, lop-sided smile.

"Are you asking?" he jokes. However, you're in no mood to play games. This is important to you - because your boyfriend of five years just admitted that he hadn't ever considered a future with the two of you together.

"Jungkook, I'm being serious," you say - your voice is soft, yet firm. Sensing the seriousness to your tone, the smile on Jungkook's face falls and he sits up. His movement displaces you from his stomach, and you find yourself moving to sit on the couch while looking at him expressionlessly.

"____, I don't know. As I said, I've never really thought about it," Jungkook reiterates.

"Well think about it now! Do you want to get married or no?" you ask, anxiousness bubbling in your veins. This conversation certainly hasn't gone the way you had expected it to. When you'd first asked Jungkook, it had just been an off-handed question, because really, why wouldn't he have thought about getting married. Now? You're not so sure.

"I- I don't know," Jungkook mutters. Face falling in despair, you get up off of the couch and walk into your bedroom. What did he mean he didn't know? Five years. You've been together five years, and he still doesn't know? Without a second thought, Jungkook follows you into your bedroom, watching in confusion as you begin getting dressed.

"Sweetheart? Are you mad at me?" he asks, causing you to snort derisively.

"Are you really asking me that right now?" you snap in response. Jungkook reels back at the irritation in your voice.

"Why? Because I said I don't know if I want to get married? Why is that a problem? I still love you- you know that," your boyfriend argues.

"The problem isn't that you love me Jungkook. It's that you just admitted you haven't thought about our future together," you cry back. Sensing your upset, Jungkook quickly walks up to you. He places his hands on your arms, gently rubbing up and down as he cooes gently at you.

"Baby, that's not what I meant. It's just, we're still young you know? And it's not like we have to get married to each other to prove anything. I love you, and you love me, isn't that enough?" Jungkook asks softly, trying his best to placate you. Tears forming in your eyes, you shake your head and push his hands away.

"But I want to get married Jungkook. But you don't even know if you want to get married," you reply back, your bottom lip quivering. You take in a deep breath in an attempt to hold yourself together.

"But I could... maybe," Jungkook replies. Though, you both hear the clear uncertainty in his voice. His words, paired with his tone, only has your heart breaking.

"Do you? It doesn't have to be now, but do you see us getting married? A simple yes or no. That's all I'm asking for," you breathe out.

Through tear-filled eyes, you watch your boyfriend contemplate your question. One minute passes. Then two. But he's no closer to giving you your answer. With every second that passes, your anguish grows into grief-stricken distress. Multiple times, Jungkook opens and closes his mouth, and each time, hope blooms in your chest, only to die when he closes his mouth. Long, excruciating moments pass, and you all but abandon hope, when finally he says something.

"I don't know," Jungkook replies. The very moment his words ring in your ears, that small inkling of hope within your chest in crushes. A sob escapes your lips and you feel your knees buckle. Distress painted on Jungkook's face, he reaches out to comfort you, but you back away from him, causing your boyfriend to flinch.

"Will you ever know?" you whisper hopelessly.

"I don't know," comes Jungkook's answer once again.

"Then I don't know if I can do this," you whisper back. Jungkook's head snaps up to you, his eyes wide as he looks at you in disbelief.

"What? What do you mean?" he chokes out, barely able to get the words out. Throat constricting, you swallow thickly as you choke back a sob.

"I don't know if I can still do this. Jungkook, I want to get married. I want to marry you. I dream about walking down the aisle to you, I dream about children - our children. I dream about a life with you. But you-" you stop as your voice cracks with emotion. Taking a deep breath, you pull yourself together once again, "but you don't know if you even want to get married and that... that just tells me you haven't thought about our future together," you finally manage to say, your voice strained.

"We're still young. We have so much time to think about that," Jungkook argues, causing you to shake your head.

"We're twenty-seven Jungkook. We've been together for five years. That's a long time, so why haven't you ever considered us getting married? Not even moments ago you admitted that you've never thought about it. How do you think that makes me feel?" you cry.

"I don't know! It wasn't on my mind. I think about you but I- I just don't know if I want to get married. Why is that a big deal?" Jungkook asks, even as anguish colours his veins at the sight of your heartbreak.

"It's a big deal to me! It's a big deal because like I said, that's what I want!" you practically yell. Taking another deep breath, you sniffle, "I don't think I can do this," you repeat once again. Again, your voice cracks, but Jungkook despairs at the resolution in it.

"What are you saying?" he chokes out, not wanting to believe it. You can't mean it. You can't be saying what he thinks you're saying.

"I'm saying- I'm saying we should break up," you finally say. You practically have to force the words out of your mouth - because, despite everything, every fibre of your being is still in love with Jungkook - still wants to be with Jungkook. But this isn't something you think you can compromise on.

"No," Jungkook blurts out. "N-no. Please, no," he practically begs. Once again he steps up to you, and once again, you step away from him - desperately needing the distance between you. "W-why? Why can't we wait until I know? Please, why can't we wait until I'm ready?" Jungkook pleads. Sucking in a deep breath, you shake your head as you look away. You want to. You desperately want to take his word for it, want to fall into his arms and forget this conversation. But you just can't.

"I c-can't," you express, "because what if we continue for another two, or three or five years, only for you to tell me you still don't want to get married? I don't want to start all over again in my thirties, Jungkook. I don't want to be in love with your a few more years, only for you to eventually decide you still don't want to get married," you reply softly.

"But we don't know if that'll happen!" Jungkook tries arguing and this time, you turn to him. Jungkook freezes at your face, the resolute sadness in your eyes breaking his heart. His heart constricts in his chest as he sees unwavering stubbornness, mixed with heartache and sorrow, in your eyes.

"Exactly Jungkook. We don't know. If you don't know now, after five years of being together, I don't know if you'll know in another few years. And I can't take that chance," you finally utter.

"____, please don't do this. I love you," Jungkook sobs brokenly. Unable to look him in the eyes anymore - unable to stand the utter devastation written on his face - you look away.

"I'm sorry," you whisper softly.

And then, you walk away.

By the time you’re drawn out of your reverie, Jungkook is long gone. In his stead, stands Minhyuk, who looks at you expectantly. ‘Say you’ll marry me.’ Minhyuk’s voice once again rings through your head and you can’t help but feel queasy at the statement. You had broken up with Jungkook because you wanted to get married - and you do. But, is Minhyuk who you want to marry? As harsh as it is, marrying Minhyuk feels like… you’re settling - and that doesn’t sit well with you. But what do you do now? What if this was your only chance? You’re twenty-seven now and you hadn’t lied to Jungkook when you said you didn’t want to wait another five years only for things to fall apart if he decided he still didn’t want to get married.

But this doesn’t feel right.

You and Minhyuk stare at each other, Minhyuk patiently waiting for your answer. Except, you have no idea what you want to say. Your skin flushes with heat and you feel panic set into your bones while your stomach flips. Blood rushes through your ears, the sound drowning out everything else as you simply stare at Minhyuk. Though, you’re not really looking at him. No, because even now, with Minhyuk standing in front of you and Jungkook long gone, there’s only one person on your mind.

The same person who’s been on your mind the entire night.

Abruptly, Hoseok’s words ring through your head. ‘You’re strong - but you’re also smart. Smart enough to know what you want.’ Your brother’s voice plays over and over in your head - like a broken vinyl - until it’s all you can hear. Then, a spark of epiphany courses through your head, and the dawning of revelation washes over you.

You do know what you want - more than anything.

And you know what you have to do now.

It's almost two in the morning when Jungkook finds himself outside of your apartment. He doesn't know how long he's sat there, back against the wall and knees up to his chest as he stares at your flat door. After he'd left Hoseok's apartment, he found his feet walking to a bar, and after about an hour of drinking, he'd walked home. Well, he'd meant to walk home. But, somehow, in his tipsy-fogged mind, he'd automatically walked to your building and then up to your flat. A while after that, he'd just sat outside your door, contemplating whether he should knock or not. The largest part of him desperately wanted to knock - and multiple times, fueled by the courage of the alcohol - he almost had. However, each time, the smaller part of him would stop himself, unable to actually follow through. What if you'd said yes to Minhyuk? What if you didn't want to see him? What if you're with Minhyuk? Jungkook doesn't know what he'd do if he knocks, only to find Minhyuk on the other side of the door.

Head repeatedly banging against the wall behind him, Jungkook stares at the gold plated numbers of your door. With every second that passes, the alcohol in his system slowly fades away and Jungkook finds himself sobering. But still, he doesn't leave. He can't bring himself to get up and walk away. It's late enough that sleep should begin fogging his mind, but again, not knowing whether you said yes or no to Minhyuk would eat away at him - and he knows he'd be restless and unable to sleep until he finds out. Yet, he just cannot bring himself to knock. So, instead, he just sits outside your apartment. Waiting for something. Anything.

For you.

Another hour passes and you still don't come. Jungkook lets out a shuddering breath, his head falling into his hands. Mentally, he draws up a pros and cons list of knocking - and yet, each time, he scraps them all. Even with all the cons: you could be engaged to Minhyuk, you could be with Minhyuk, you could be moving on with Minhyuk; Jungkook can't help but consider the pros: you could have said no, you could be alone, you could be waiting for him. It's that last one that he dreads. There's a small chance you couldbe waiting for him and that has hope flaring in his chest. But in this situation, hope is the most crushing thing in existence - because it's only a small chance - and his hope could be crushed the minute you answer the door.

A part of him believes you had to have said to yes - you just had to have - because that's what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted to get married. So, what reason would you have to say no? But that small, niggling voice in Jungkook head won't stop speaking - won't stop telling him that he's a reason you would have said no. Nevertheless, Jungkook knows that voice comes from his hope - and as he's mentioned - hope is the worst thing he has right now.

"You can't keep doing this, Jungkook. It's been nine months. You should move on- like she is," Jungkook mutters to himself out loud. He has no doubt that if anyone sees him, they'd think he was some sort of crazy person, but Jungkook also doesn't care. Over and over, he repeats the sentences to himself and eventually, he gets up, ready to leave.

But then he stops.

Turning back to your door, he takes in a shuddering breath, and before he can stop himself - or even rethink his spontaneous decision - he finds himself knocking. Because he desperately needs to know if he's lost you once and for all. Then, he waits again.

And still waits.

Time moves excruciatingly slowly - the seconds agonisingly passing away. Momentarily, Jungkook considers knocking again - maybe you're asleep, maybe you didn't hear him. But the adrenaline-induced courage has long since faded after he knocked, and once again he finds himself turning away.

However, then, he hears it: the clinking of a chain.

The door creaks open slowly, Jungkook sucking in a sharp breath as he spots you. You're dressed in a large hoodie - and hope flares in his chest as he recognises it. It's hishoodie. He thought he'd misplaced it a while ago - but no, apparently it was just with you. But why? Why hadn't you returned it to him?

As soon as the door is wide open, you stare in disbelief at the sight in front of you. Rubbing your blood-shot eyes, your mouth drops slightly as you realise you're not imagining it. Jungkook is standing in front of you. Why is Jungkook standing in front of you?

"J-Jungkook?" you stutter out, bewilderment heavy in your voice.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook blurts out. Taken aback by his sudden apology, your eyebrow furrows.

"W-What? Why are you sorry?" you ask, unsure of what's happening. You'd just been crying in bed - desperately wishing for Jungkook - so, when you'd opened your door only to see him, you'd thought you were dreaming. And now? Well, now you're just confused. What does he have to be sorry about?

"I made a mistake. You were right- I didn't- I never thought about our future together. I never considered getting married, or whether we'd have a family together and it's because I was comfortable. I grew comfortable in our relationship and I took it for granted. I took you for granted," Jungkook breathes out. His words fall so quickly from his lips, he practically rambles, and you really have to strain to understand his words. "After five years together, I just got so used to us. I thought I'd always have you, and so, marriage or a family didn't even cross my mind - but it should have. I should have thought about our future together. I'm sorry that I didn't, and I'm sorry that I thought about it too late," Jungkook continues. Once again, he pauses, taking a deep breath as he thinks about what to say next. But if he's being honest, he doesn't really know what else to say.

Shoulders deflating, Jungkook runs a weary hand through his hair, and suddenly, he looks more harried than you've seen him in a long time. "I'm just- I'm sorry I didn't think about it back then. I'm just sorry," Jungkook finishes lamely. There's more on the tip of his tongue: I miss you, I want you, I love you; but he can't bring himself to say them. Not when you could be happy with Minhyuk. He can't do that to you - he'd broken your heart that day - when he'd openly admitted he'd never thought about a future with you - and now, you have a chance with someone else. And he can't take that away from you, even if it breaks his heart to let you go. Left reeling by his words, they play over and over in your mind, and it takes all your brainpower to reallyunderstand them - but in your stunned daze, you don't say anything - and Jungkook doesn't know what to make of it.

So, instead, "I guess, that's what I wanted to say. I- I hope you're happy with Minhyuk," he chokes out. Sluggishly, you realise that Jungkook is walking away - and that's all it takes to restart your brain.

"W-what if I'm not happy? What would you do if I wasn't happy?" you rasp, your voice straining. Jungkook freezes at your words, his blood running cold. Then, he whips around so quickly, you fear he'd get whiplash. However, Jungkook doesn't care. Rather, his eyes swiftly rake over your face, searching for something, anything to confirm what'd he'd just heard. He finds it in your eyes; in the way they silently beg him to continue, plead with him to say everything on his mind.

Helpless under your imploring gaze, Jungkook finds his tongue unravelling as he lays his feelings at your feet. "I'd ask for a second chance. A chance to make you happy and give you what you want," Jungkook breathes out. Your eyes widen in the slightest at his proclamation.

Is he saying what you think he is?

Incredulity painted as clear as day on your face and sliver of hope evident in your eyes, Jungkook's face softens slightly. He wasn't lying - when Minhyuk had proposed the ultimatum, Jungkook had felt his heartbreak - and when he'd sat in the bar, all he could think about was you. More importantly, all he could think about was the missed opportunity. He imagined what you'd look like on your wedding day. How happy would you be? Would you look as radiantly beautiful as he imaged you to be? Would you smile in that carefree, captivating way that you did? But then, he grew maudlin - because he realised that if you did, it wouldn't be for him - and that broke his heart. It broke his heart to imagine you marrying someone that wasn't him, smiling for someone who wasn't him, creating a family with someone that wasn't him.

Nothing but sincerity in his voice, Jungkook continues, "I'd ask for you to take me back and to marry you. Because that's what I want - as long as it's with you," Jungkook finishes.

Throat clogged up with the heavy weight of your emotions, you swallow thickly, "then ask," you choke out. Your words are simple - and practically inaudible - but in the stillness of the empty corridor, and the quiet of the night, Jungkook hears it as clear as day.

"But- But what about Minhyuk?" Jungkook asks, unsure about whether he should or not. Hope flares in his chest at your words - but he doesn't want to believe them. Not yet, at least.

"Ask anyway," you simply say.

"Will you-" Jungkook begins, but the instant he opens his mouth, you're cutting him off.

"Yes," you reply - not even waiting for him to finish. It doesn't matter what he said. It doesn't matter if the words to follow are 'give me a second chance' or 'marry me' because all that matters is that he's back. All that matters is that he's willing to think about your future together - and right now, that's enough for you.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say-mpf," Jungkook begins, only to be stopped short when you pull him in for a kiss.

The instant his lips touch yours, you feel your entire body become electrified. Your veins are set afire with love, Jungkook's soft lips pressed against yours in a sweet kiss. Instinctively, Jungkook's arms wrap around your waist, his hands pulling your body flush against his as he feels you for the first time in months. You taste the same as you always have - temptingly sweet - and your body against his feels exquisite: your curves and contours fitting perfectly against his body. Sinking into this kiss, and consequently Jungkook, you sigh against his lips while you let your hands wander across his broad shoulder, before carding them into his hair.

Brief moments later, Jungkook breaks off your kiss; his forehead falling to rest against yours as he stares deeply into your eyes. His hands move to cradle your face, his thumb brushing your cheek tenderly as he lazily peppers soft kisses against your lips. Despite the softness of the moment, Jungkook can't stop wondering about Minhyuk - a sentiment he expresses to you in concern.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't say yes," you reply, your eyes holding nothing but the truth. Jungkook's eyebrows knit together, and you find yourself giggling at the adorable expression. After a light peck against his lips, you move to rest your head against his chest, your eyes slipping shut as you feel his steady heartbeat under your ear. "I couldn't do it, because even then, you were all I could think about. I thought I wanted to get married, and I did - I do - but I realised, I didn't want to marry just anyone. I wanted to marry you," you confess. Jungkook's heart soars in his chest and helpless under your spell, he finds himself pulling you in for another kiss.

However, this time, it's different. This time, your kiss isn't slow, or soft. No, it's needier - Jungkook’s pouring out his entire heart into your kiss as he bruises his lips against you. Gasping against his lips, your fists clench around Jungkook’s leather jacket - using the material to pull him closer into you. You pull away from Jungkook’s lips, breathing heavily against his lips as you stare up at him through the thick of your eyelashes.

“Do you want to come in?” you breathily ask. Jungkook pauses for a moment.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to-” he begins refuting. However, you’re already pressing kisses against his jaw - lightly nipping the sensitive spot just above his Adam’s apple.

“I’m sure. I’ve missed you,” you rasp out, your voice coming out breathier than you anticipated. Jungkook’s eyes dilate at your words, and before you know what’s happening, he’s leading you into your apartment.

The both of you barely make it into your apartment, before Jungkook is slamming the door shut and pushing you up against the hard wood. Caging you between his arms, Jungkook’s lips fall upon yours again, his lips moving in a frenzied fashion this time. Instinctively, your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer into you. Jungkook lets out a soft growl against your lips before pulling away. Peppering kisses along your jaw, he trails down the column of your throat before nuzzling his face into the juncture of your shoulder.

“God- I’ve missed you,” Jungkook whispers as he breathes in your calming scent. Own hands threading into his hair, you lazily play with the locks at the nape of his neck.

“I missed you too. A lot,” you moan out as Jungkook begins to suckle bruises onto the tender flesh of your throat.

“Is that why you’re wearing my hoodie?” Jungkook asks, curiosity winning out on him. Not that you don’t look good in it - in fact, seeing you dressed in his clothing is one of Jungkook’s favourite things.

“Maybe,” you reply coyly, “what are you going to do about it?” you continue. Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath at the teasing lilt to your voice and immediately, drops to his knees. You jerk at the sudden movement, your eyes widening marginally at the sight of Jungkook on his knees.

“If this was any other time, I’d teach you a lesson. But right now, I’ve missed you too much, and you look good enough to eat,” Jungkook groans out as he runs his nose along the exposed flesh of your inner thigh. Your breath hitches at his words, Jungkook’s large hands slowly wrapping around your thighs before he parts your legs. Tenderly, his hands run up the back of your thighs, and gripping the flesh of your ass, he pulls your hips further into him.

Running his nose against the cotton of your panties, Jungkook takes in a deep breath before groaning as the heady scent of your arousal runs through his nose. He pushes his hoodie further up your hips, his lips gently tracing his way up the length of your thigh. Positioned just over your hip, Jungkook places a tender kiss above where your bone is. Then, he bites down on the waistband of your panties before slowly sliding it down your legs. When he gets to the crooks of your thighs, he lets go of it, letting the material drop to the floor.

You step out of your underwear and spread your legs - making more room for Jungkook. Gripping one of your thighs, he pulls it to rest over his shoulder, exposing your pussy to his gaze. Dark, lust-filled eyes rove over your folds, Jungkook shuddering as the scent of your arousal deepens. Your sex is slightly dewy, glistening in the low lighting of your living room. Biting his lip, Jungkook edges closer to your folds before tentatively licking a line: all the way from your core to your clit.

“Oh fuck,” you groan out, your head lolling back while one of your hands shoots out to tangle into his thick hair. Hearing your low groan, Jungkook smirks against your pussy before repeating the action. Spikes of pleasure run up and down your spine, your eyelids fluttering as you lose yourself into the pleasure he brings upon your body.

Moving one hand, Jungkook presses two fingers against the petals of your sex before parting his digits in a ‘V’ shape and consequently your folds. With your pussy exposed, Jungkook once again licks a thick line from your dripping, honeyed entrance, all the way to your engorged bud. He licks harder this time, his tongue lapping in a broad line as he gathers your heady essence onto his tongue. Your arousal bathes his tastebuds, and with his nose pressed against the hood of your clit - all he can taste, all he can breathe is you.

Soft lips wrap around your clit, Jungkook pulling the sensitive bud into his mouth before lightly suckling on it. His ministrations cause you to gasp - the sound quickly morphing into a heavy moan when his nips your throbbing clit. Tangling your fingers further into his hair, you slowly undulate your hips, pushing them further into Jungkook as you tug on his hair, trying to get him to move fast.

Sensing the urgency in your movements, Jungkook rakes his teeth over your clit in warning once again. Then, breaking away with a pop, “Be patient, darling,” Jungkook breathes out. The lusty fog of your desire rolls thickly into your head, clouding your mind and setting your flesh aflame with want and through your wanton need, you barely hear Jungkook’s words. Instead, the feel of Jungkook’s warm breath wafting over your wet folds has you shuddering in pleasure.

“Kook,” you whine needily, desperation heavy in the high pitch of your voice.

With his face buried between your thighs, you can’t see his face. But you don’t have to. You can feel the smirk on his lips. Not that you really care - because he’s currently swirling his tongue around your clit tantalisingly and subsequently driving you to the brink of insanity. Lightly, he moves the two fingers that have you spread open. You shudder at the featherlight touch, feeling him softly ghost his fingertips over the outline of your folds before circling your entrance. His touch has your core clenching, your pussy walls fluttering around his fingertips.

“Fuck- I forgot how fucking sensitive your pussy is,” Jungkook moans against your clit. His words are slightly muffled, and the vibration of his voice shoots straight from your clit to the pits of your belly. Loins heating with pleasure, you feel your stomach twist and knot as Jungkook laps kittenish licks against your clit. Teasingly, Jungkook continues circling his fingertip against your entrance, feeling the way strings of your sticky wetness drip out of you before they cling to his digit.

Drawing away from your clit, Jungkook slowly pulls his finger away; his throat drying as he watches the thin, filmy strings of your arousal drip from your pussy and onto his finger. The thick rivulets stretch as he pulls away - and the moment one of them snaps - Jungkook is unable to stop himself from pressing his head back between your thighs. Tongue plunging into your core, his swirls his wet appendage around your cunt, groaning as thick streams of arousal drip onto his tongue.

“Oh fuck- Kook,” you mewl, your head falling back and hitting the door with a light thud. The pain barely registers in your mind, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as your pussy flutters around his tongue. Helpless against your needy whine, Jungkook pushes two fingers into your depths, your body jerking at the sudden intrusion as you tug at his hair reflexively. Twisting his fingers into you, Jungkook pumps his digits in and out, relishing in the feel of your silken, pulsating walls around his appendages as he continues eating you out - almost ravenously.

Gripping his locks tightly, you gyrate harder into his mouth. Waves of pleasure flit over your skin, your blood boiling with ecstasy as you feel the warmth in your belly begin to heat up. When Jungkook spreads your entrance using his fingers, his tongue plunging deeper into you, you let out a cry of pleasure. God, you’d forgotten just howgood Jungkook’s mouth was. Mouth and throat running dry, you swallow thickly before panting out his name over and over again. The once dull warmth begins burning your loins; searing, white-hot pleasure running up and down your flesh, your skin prickling with goosebumps as you feel your orgasm approaching.

“Please-” you groan out, the guttural sound intermingling with the wet, sloppy sounds of Jungkook eating you out. Thighs quivering against his ears, Jungkook pushes his fingers deeper into you. Expertly, he finds the sweet spot inside you, his fingers crooking at the knuckle as he strokes the spongy spot. Reflexively, your hand tugs his hair harshly while your knees buckle under the euphoria of your approaching orgasm.

“Are you cumming, baby? You wanna cum on my tongue?” Jungkook taunts, a teasing lilt to his voice. Swallowing thickly, it’s all you can do to simply rasp out his name. Knowing he has you on the verge of ecstasy, Jungkook doubles his efforts - his fingers pistoning inside you quicker as he wraps his wet lips around your clit.

“God, your pussy tastes so fucking good. I missed you - missed the way your pretty little pussy feels around my tongue,” Jungkook grunts out. Another whine of pleasure escapes your lips, your hips jolting into his face when the pads of his finger stroke your g-spot.

“Cumming-” you gasp out, your voice cracking under the pleasure.

“Then cum baby- cum all over my tongue. I wanna taste you- wanna drink you up,” Jungkook urges. The filthiness of his words, paired with the way he harshly sucks your clit, instantly has you cumming.

A loud mewl escaping your lip, you whine out his name. Your eyes roll back into your skull, your visions filled with white spots as your orgasm ricochets through you. Feeling you come undone above him, Jungkook rips his fingers out of you, his hands gripping your flesh and fingers digging into your skin as he holds your violently trembling thighs. The scent of your arousal thickens deeply, and Jungkook watches with dilated eyes as thick ropes of cum drip out of your cunt and down your thighs.

Placing his lips against your entrance, Jungkook slurps at your cum, swallowing it thickly and relishing in your taste. You whine out his name, your knees buckling from the power of your orgasm - and if it weren’t for Jungkook’s strong grip, you’re sure you’d drop to the floor. Gasping for air, you slowly come down from the high of your orgasm, Jungkook patiently waiting for you to descend down to reality.

Tenderly, your boyfriend places affectionate kisses along the length of your thigh, softly cooing at you while he whispers sweet nothings against your flesh. A soft smile tugs at your lips and you untangle your fingers from their vice-like grip on his locks. Instead, you softly play with the strands, marvelling at their silk-like texture. Jungkook always had beautiful hair, but with how long it is currently, you can reallyadmire it.

“Kook- want you,” you mew. Jungkook chuckles at the soft neediness in your voice.

“Come here, sweetheart,” Jungkook says before he gathers you in his arms. Gently, he brings you to the floor with him. Still swimming in the haziness of your orgasm, you feel Jungkook swiftly divest himself off his clothing, until he’s left naked. Once done, Jungkook gathers you into his arms once again. He shifts you so your thighs are straddling his, your body propped against his strong chest as his back rests against the door to your apartment.

Unable to help yourself, you rest your head against his shoulder, your hands indolently running over his skin as you finally feel him under your touch. You trace every muscle of his upper body - from the corded flesh of his biceps, to the taut skin of his abdomen; and then towards his broad, defined shoulders. Jungkook’s arms wrap around your waist, his hands running up the hem of his hoodie and flitting up your skin before he divests you off the article of clothing - leaving you both naked.

Shuddering at the feel of the night’s crisp air against your skin, you snuggle closer into Jungkook’s warmth, letting his presence wash over you. “I missed you,” you mumble against his skin. Jungkook’s face softens and he nods, his head dropping so he can press a kiss to your shoulder. His long hair tickles your skin and you relish in the featherlight touch.

Not wanting to wait any longer - and more than desperate to feel him inside of you - you flex your thighs, picking yourself up. One hand feels out for Jungkook’s cock, and easily finding the shaft, you grip the base before pressing it against your entrance. Feeling the bulbous head push against your entrance, you let out a soft whine before slowly descending down onto him. Slowly, he spreads out your walls, his thick girth stretching you out for the first time in months. It’s been a while since you’ve had Jungkook and the sheer size of him has a dull pain stinging at your pussy walls - but you don’t mind so much. No, in fact, you cherish it - because you’d sorely missed how transcendent he’d felt stretching out your pussy to its brim.

“Oh fuck- God, you’re so fucking tight. You feel so good,” Jungkook groans out, his cock twitching with every inch he sinks into you. Jungkook’s arms wrap around you, holding your naked chest flush against his as you continue your descent onto his cock. When he finally bottoms out, his balls resting just under your ass, you let out a little whimper, your fingers clawing into his shoulder.

“You good, baby?” Jungkook asks, his lips skimming the outline of your collarbone.

“Yeah- you feel- so good,” you gasp out. Jungkook gives you a couple of moments to adjust to the feel of him - and then, he’s gripping your hips before lifting them up for you. You cry out in pleasure as you feel his cock retreat out of you, only for Jungkook to thrust upwards, plunging the entire length of his shaft.

The two of you begin moving in tandem with each other: Jungkook helping you move on top of him while simultaneously impaling his cock into you. With every one of his movements, you feel pleasure run through your veins. Every time he plunges the entirety of his cock inside of you, you let out short gasps, your toes curling in pleasure. Moving slowly, you take the time to simply feel each other - the ardent fire of your lust and love burning bright in the pits of both your bellies as you sink into unadulterated pleasure.

Your slow, sensual pace continues for a little while longer - but you can slowly feel Jungkook’s desperation increasing with each thrust. His hands begin wandering over your hips and around to hold your ass. Fingers digging into the soft flesh, he grips your ass tightly before bouncing you harder ontop of him. Need fills his every movement - Jungkook’s thrusts becoming rougher. You bounce on top of him, your entire body shaking as Jungkook thrusts harder and harder into you. Changing the angle of his hips, Jungkook plunges his cock against your sweet spot, the head of his cock brushing it with every impalement of his hips.

“I’m cumming, baby,” Jungkook warns. Not that he really needs to, you can feel his cock throb erratically inside you, twitching every now and then as your walls clench rhythmically around his shaft - massaging his entire length.

“Cum, baby. Cum in me. Wanna feel you deep in me,” you say softly, your hands softly massaging his shoulders. Jungkook lets out a little groan, pulling your hips harder down onto him as he tries to push his cock as deep as he can into you.

“Cum with me. Play with yourself. Wanna feel you cum around my cock,” Jungkook urgers, and you find yourself growing wetter at the authority present in his voice. Unable to deny him anything, you twist one arm between your body and begin expertly playing with your clit. The additional pleasure has you crying out in ecstasy. All of a sudden, you feel heat rush through your veins, your lips parting in a silent scream as you cum for a second time.

Feeling your walls clamp around him tightly, paired with the gushing of your cum around his cock, Jungkook let’s out a little groan. “Oh fuck,” he moans. Then with two stilted thrusts, he plunges his cock as deep as he can into you before cumming with a soft roar. His cock twitches inside your walls before he shoots rope after rope of hot cum inside you. You groan at the feel of his warmth, your toes curling in pleasure as the base of your spine tingles.

Jungkook holds you to him tightly, clutching your body to his as you both gasp and pant for air. The haziness of your euphoric high slowly abates, until you’re both left clinging to each other. Eventually, the white spots in your vision clear and you slowly pull away from him. You take in the sight of Jungkook, completely spent and sweat-soaked locks clinging to his forehead. Hearing you giggle, Jungkook opens one eye to peek at you.

“Stop laughing at me,” he pouts. Once again, you giggle at him, and then let yourself fall against him. Exhaustion weighs down your muscles and you find yourself snuggling into Jungkook’s chest, sleep already replacing the lust-filled fog that clouds your head.

“I can’t help it if you’re so cute,” you mumble sleepily. Jungkook bites his lips, lightly snorting through his nose. However, he simply doesn’t have the energy to argue with you. Instead, he sits quietly while attempting to catch his breath.

Eventually, he decides he’s had enough of a rest - but when he turns to you, you’re already deeply asleep, a small smile on your lips. Tenderly, Jungkook tuts, but there’s no real ire in it. Gathering you in his arms, he picks you up, wincing when his muscles protest the movement. Ignoring the pain, he carries you into your bedroom before gently depositing under the cover.

Fatigue quickly overcomes him, and it’s all Jungkook can do to not collapse beside you. Holding off, however, he manages to sluggishly pull himself under the cover. Once under the thick sheets, Jungkook shifts closer to you before he pulls you into his arms. You’re both sticky - your skin covered in a light sheen of perspiration - and it’s slightly uncomfortable, but Jungkook doesn’t care.

He’d be damned if he spent one more night without you in his arms.

a/n: owo i hope you enjoyed it! please don’t forget to tell me what you thought 🥺

⇥ Masterlist

#bts smut #ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #kwritersworldnet #btsguild #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #ksmutclub #smutcentralnet #magicshopnet #bangtanhq #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #bts jungkook smut #bts jungkook fic

[redxblueihateloveyou]

i'm curious, what are your top 10 favorite rinharu moments in high speed and high speed 2?? i love the books. i don't understand why people say is impossible to ship rinharu if you read them...

Lmao who are those “people”? As in multiple? And are they from Mars? I do not get this. You cannot be serious. You probably meant “impossible not to ship”?

I don’t know about top ten, I love all of their interractions tbh, they just remind me of my fav type of romance in general. I know what are my top 5 I think, but after that I love everything, so it’s hard to rate.

1. My absolutely favorite moment will forever be the one, where Rin describes the way he sees Haru in the water, I’m seriously forever in awe, because, I’ve read a lot of books, and like... even period dramas got nothing on Rin Matsuoka, when he describes the love of his life. I mean, seriously, find yourself a person who sees you the way Rin sees Haru lol

Rin felt like he was touched by the light, that surrounded him with warmth. He turned around to see Haruka, who was glowing. Shining. Haruka was shining with every strong and confident stroke that he made. The outstanding energy, emitted from him, surrounded Haruka with the dazzling light and Rin froze, unable to look away. Rin’s heart was beating so hard in his chest, that he forgot how to breathe. Haruka stole his heart. And the further away he got from him, the more distance grew between them, the more uneasy Rin felt, like he was losing the control over his emotions. He was possesed by Haruka’s shining. His strokes looked as if he was hugging the water, his leg movements were so effortless and so elegant, as if water herself was moving him to the finish line. But in all these deceptively smooth and unhurried motions were so much strength and power and such incredible speed, that all his opponents didn’t stand a chance. His swimming was that transcendent reality. He was like a bird dancing in the sky with its wings spread wide.”

Dude... I’m like... still speechless. I mean, and not just this, but everytime Rin talks about Haru, even when he jokes about his stupid habbits, you still feel that he finds him so beautiful, inside and outside, that it just makes my heart melt. 

2. When Aki tells Rin that if you put him and Haru together, you get a perfection. 

“That guy has no sense of humor. He should learn by watching me, don't you think?" Rin joked lightly.

Aki laughed a bit at his words. "It's true. Add the two of you together and divide by two, and it would be perfect."

But I mainly love that moment, because like... Aki starts telling him, that Haru is not what he's pretending to be (like for some idiots in the fandom who call him selfish, that was the explanation for them xD) and how everyone always want something from him, and he never asks for anything in return and doesn’t have anyone to lean on (yup that’s what I said all along, too, with Makoto’s dumb behavior in difficult situations, he’s on his own there lmao). And she waits for Rin to deny it or like be surprised, but it turned out that that’s exactly how Rin sees him and that he cracked him from the very beginning. BTW, here’s your addition to the ask about Rin loving Haru for who he is and seeing him for who he is. I’m just in love with that moment, because I’m happy that he just... not only he knows him, but bc he’s not one of those many idiots who just don’t get it.

"Nanase-kun seems like he can do anything all by himself, doesn't he? He's good at studying and sports and even art. He really can do anything, right? That's why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn't it?"

Rin certainly thought this was true. He had only just transferred, but the image that Rin had of Haruka was exactly that. But even if Haruka didn't have the will to go out and get involved with other people on his own, it wasn't like he was completely isolated. On the contrary, he was considered the most reliable person in their class, and when people relied on him, he always did his best to meet their expectations. This was the strange balance that people around Haruka had to maintain.

3. The one when Haru calls Rin by his name for the first time. And I honestly for some reason didn’t even realize that this moment was in the anime until my 3rd rewatch (lol), but, man, little Rin’s reaction is the most adorable ever. I cry.

4. When Gou meets Haru for the first time and immediately goes “ah so you’re Haruka Nanase, the one, who my brother talks about 24/7...‘Nanase is so cool, Nananse is so fast!’” and Rin just goes red lmfaaaaaooooo.

5. When Haru says that he feels the fever running through his body each time he just sees Rin, but he doesn’t understand what it means... ahem.... OH WELL

6. When Rin tells them he’s leaving and Haru gets absolutely furious and calls him a selfish jerk, but then he feels his legs giving out and he thinks that he needs to be in the water, but then he realizes, that for the first time in his life it won’t save him and he’s so lost and fucking crushed. "you can’t just mess up my whole life and leave me like that” and “this can’t be true, I can’t be this weak.” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fucking hellish angst... that mix of emotions was seriously hideous, at first he was so confused and in denial, he couldn’t even think, he literally went “who is leaving?” and then it just all blew up. Poor baby.

7. Just all the little moments, when Rin notices everything Haru does and falls in love a bit more each time. Like when Haru slowed down, when he saw that Nagisa is having troubles of keeping up with him.

Nagisa was earnestly trying to keep up with Haruka. If he kept up that pace, he wouldn't be able to run next to Haruka for the whole trip. That was how it had been yesterday. Nagisa's breath was coming short, and when Haruka saw him slow down a pace, he lightly turned his eyes downward. I guess that's as far as he goes.

A sigh mixed with Haruka's long breaths. Then, by just a tiny increment, Haruka let his pace slacken.

"Oh?" Rin said quietly. Haruka could almost hear him saying "You're so nice, Nanase," and he tsked inwardly. Nagisa caught up to him, smiling as if it hurt a bit. It looked like he'd lost the energy to keep talking.

Just cute, and they watched each other all the time, it’d be a bitch to count each one, but god, all of them were cute.

8. All the moments of Haru pulling Rin’s pigtails... hilarious, especially the RinRin one, but the funniest and my favorite was when Nagisa turned to Haru to ask him for a permision to call Rin Rin-Rin, like... all the rights to Rin belong to Haru and vice versa lmao I agree. “I’ll allow it” lolz shut it, Haru.

9. This moment: “Something happened inside of him that made Haruka incredibly angry, he was so pissed, that he didn’t even want to swim anymore. To think that someone like Rin could make him feel such powerful swirl of emotions and make him such a mess... he felt disgusted with himself.” Yeah, Haru, love is dat bitch when you’re 13 lol

10. The one where Haru whispers “sorry for making you feel that way” to Rin? The one where Rin’s grandma doesn’t want to go to see the relay, but then she suddenly does, when she finds out that her grandson’s future husband is in it? The “he at that moment realized that the only thing Rin was concerned about was Haruka” one? I don’t fucking know, you pick haha ANY MOMENT, ALL THE MOMENTS XD

______

BUT in all seriousness, I do not get how you can love Makoharu after the novels. Like do people just ignore these moments:

“Haru waved Makoto off like an annoying fly”, “feeling annoyed by his obnoxious care, Haruka went right past him”, “feeling like Makoto’s smile could turn into tears any second now, Haru turned away and went to the showers” (fuck this shit I’m out lmao), “complitely ignoring him, Haru kept walking”.

??????? is this... does anyone find this amazing??????!!!!!!!!!!!

Or when Haru was literally fucking losing it, cause Makoto just repeated everything after him and how he just lost all the respect in that moment.

“I feel like I should also get into running.” Makoto said it as it was a joke, but Haru knew for sure that it wasn’t. More than that, he knew, that Makoto was going to ask him that ever since the moment he found out that Haru was running this morning. Haruka fel annoyed, because he couldn’t find the excuse to refuse him.

Or this moment:

“Makoto was late and Haruka didn’t have any reasons to wait for him. Makoto can catch up with him on the way, they’ll meet at the swimming club either way. For both of them it’ll be better, if Haru went by himself, than stood there and waited Makoto, slowly losing his temper.”

“Haruka felt uncomfortable, cause Makoto looked at him, as if was a weak”

Or this:

"Did you know I was going to come out here?" Even though he knew it was impossible, Makoto couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Nope."

"Then, why…" are you standing in a place like this?

"Watching the sunset."

and I can go on and on and on

and the fishies... oh my fucking god, the fishies

***

I’m just saying, all these moments are not even funny. My point in all this, that like no matter how much Haru loves Makoto as a friend... or got used to him is what I personally think, I don’t think he’s ever gonna idk how to say this... respect him as a human being? admire him? And this whole situation... I just can’t appreciate such kind of relationships even in a friends way. 

1stly because Makoto’s behavior in general makes me have war flashbacks to some of my real life experiences (and yeah, I confess, it affected me and that’s why I don’t like his character a lot; because I don’t think many people know what it’s like to deal with these kind of people in general). 2ndly, cause Makoto fans keep trashing Haru and many call him selfish bc of the way he treats him, but what they don’t understand is that if it wasn’t for Haru being this harsh, Makoto would literally became even doormat-y than he is now (yes, it’s possible lmao). 

P.S. my favorite in the novels tbh is all the Haru “I’m surrounded by idiots” moments, like when they started to dig the frozen soil with little scrapes and he was looking at them like they’re morons and then just silently walked away and came back with a giant shovel... “if you keep doing this with your tiny scoopers, we’re gonna be here all night” and they then they just watched him as he did everything himself LMFAO I just love him so freaking much. I also think his relationship with Nagisa are incredible and so underrated, since it’s a huge and incredible part of the books. I just keep saying, Haru’d be an amazing dad, so I can’t wait for him and Rin to adopt xD

P.P.S. And what about the Free! novelization????!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #Free! #free! iwatobi swim club #free #rin matsuoka #nanase haruka #sharkbait #Haru x Rin #rin x haru #did i not get something? wasn't the high speed a horrible thing for mh? #cause it seemed like that to me

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

I’d love to request a ship :) I don’t have a gender preference, I am infp, my pronouns are she/her, and I’m biromantic asexual. I’m 5’3, long brown hair with bangs, I wear glasses. My style consists of short skirt/shorts, and cropped tops, nothing too defined however. My favourite books are the heroes of Olympus series by Rick riordan, and I like the song ‘good old fashioned lover boy’ by queen. I like listening to rock classics but also pop music from the 2010s. If I was in X-men, my mutation would be healing and/or telekinesis. I hope that’s enough details for you, I really enjoy your blog :) BTW, the roof fix is literally my favourite work of yours, I re read it sometimes and every time, it still makes me emotional.

I ship you with Peter Maximoff!

It all started after you became friends with Jubilee.

Peter had a habit of running around campus, stopping (very briefly, though to him it probably felt like hours) to say hi to some people on the way to his destination.

So one day, while walking with Jubilee to the class that you and her shared, Peter ran by.

"HiSparklesByeSparkles!!!!!"

You were very confused to say the least.

"What was that? Also- who's Sparkles?"

Jubilee responded: "That was Peter, ignore him. I'm 'Sparkles'- he likes to make up weird nicknames for his friends- it's both an honor and annoying."

"Oh. Well- congratulations and also I'm sorry?"

"Exactly! You get it."

Later that night, you went down to the kitchen with your walkman on to grab a snack. Of course, by "grab a snack" I mean grab dinner now that whatever weirdos were in the kitchen earlier had left to study.

And who did you find? A weirdo. The weirdo, if you will.

The boy who you had earlier learned was named Peter and Jubilee were sitting eating snacks on top of the island counter.

You considered trying to sneakily back away, at the moment you really just wanted to listen to your music and be in peace, but alas. The stomach calls as strongly as the heart does. So you take off your headphones, and walk inside.

Jubilee greets you immediately, and Peter looks slightly horrified. You look at him perplexed then try to start a conversation.

"Hey... guys..." Wow, smooth start. "What were you talking about?"

Jubilee jokes in response, "We were gossiping about you, better watch out, we're planning some pretty nasty rumors."

Peter remained frozen, as if his lack of movement would make his borderline hilarious expression invisible to you. Until he jumped- "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

Jubilee gritted her teeth at him, "What was what for? I didn't do anything. Introduce yourself."

"You kicked me under the table! I'm wounded!" He feigned he was in great pain.

You saw the opportunity for a dad joke, so you took it, as any honorable person would. "Hi, Wounded. Nice to meet ya. Sorry that was horrible, but you did walk right into it."

Finally, he addressed you directly. "Haha, very funny. It would be funnier if I wasn't just attacked, but still. I'm Peter but I think you know that."

"Very presumptuous of you, but okay."

"No! Not like I think you know about me because I think I'm important or anything. We were just talking about you and I asked Sparkles what she told you about me-"

"You two were talking about me?" You wiggled your eyebrows sarcastically at him.

This interaction of course led to you two bantering, and Jubilee sneaking out of the room to give you two some privacy. Jubilee's real power is being the ultimate wingman, what can I say.

So I might have accidentally written a whole drabble for your meeting lmao- but I had some other details I didn't fit in but I wanted to share:

Peter messes up your bangs when he runs by, he thinks it's hilarious when you get annoyed by it. He also always denies that it was him.

Whenever you need to reach things off tall shelfs he runs in to help you. You always have to remind him: "I could have literally gotten that with my mind- you don't have to help, though I appreciate the gesture." He just smiles proudly in response.

He calls you nerd, and everything you like nerdy. You know how in movies they put the word "quantum" in front of everything? That's him with "nerd".

Whenever he speeds in to sit or stand by you, he puts his arm around your shoulders and says the inevitable: "Hey nerd."

"Ooh, how's your nerd book coming?"

"You're doing you're homework, wow. Nerd alert over here!"

"Jamming out to your nerd music?" You smile at him, "You like Queen just as much as I do, why do you call it nerd music?" "Because you're listening to it, and you're a nerd." "Ok, but why am I a nerd?" "Because you wear glasses, duh." "Oh my god."

If it ever remotely upset you he would stop, but every time you act unamused he can tell you're hiding a smile, and he wants to see that every chance he can.

I really hope you like this, sorry it's so long, this is just the first ship request I've written and I got kinda overzealous! <33

#ppppFFFFTTT 'the stomach calls as strongly as the heart does' #ngl #at the dad joke part #i almost had him respond 'no #my father is wounded- you can call me peter' #ship requests #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff fluff

[florencesmachine]

tell me what's going on

Why tumblr user donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie is an embarrassment: a Masterpost

Hi if you’re here it’s because you’ve heard that tumblr user donottearmedown is an embarrassment and you’d like to know all the details! Let me break it down. It all started with this post by @minacarstairs (Tessa (yes @minacarstairs’s name is Tessa sorry if that makes this post confusing)), in which donottearmedown originally reached out to Tessa by sending her something along the lines of “Do you ship heronstairs/herongraystairs?” And Tessa replied with something along the lines of “Yeah lmao herongraystairs rights!”

(I wanna note that Tessa was being very polite, and continues to be very polite to people who disagree with her opinions on heronstairs/herongraystairs. She even began her original conversation with dont tear me down by saying it’s a matter of personal interpretation :) it’s donottearmedown who made the conversation mean-spirited)

(Also Tessa pls correct next if I’m wrong on any of this thnx)

And then sometime later, the conversation above ensues in which donottearmedown, seemingly perfectly reasonable at first, disagrees with the ship and offers a link to look at. (She throws this link around any chance she gets. She really fucking loves this link.) I got involved because in her answer, Tessa replies back with a link from a post I made from my own blog starting back in 2018, and then continued to add to it until my account got terminated (long story). You can read through both posts and check out all the replies! But basically we realized during this interaction that donottearmedown wasn’t looking to have a friendly conversation and was, in fact, batshit crazy. They were saying some absolute brain dead shit like that people shipping heronstairs is the same as people shipping Alec x Clary. Here’s the screenshot:

donottearmedown came back the next day to reply on several of Tessa and mine’s post which she wasn’t even tagged in, such as this one, and this one that had absolutely nothing to do with her because I make that same post every year. Here’s a screenshot from my old account last year via Instagram:

(there are more posts she replied to but I can’t be bothered to look for them, I’m sure you can find them on their blog if you can spare the braincells)

Racism by donottearmedown:

So, Tessa received this anon which tipped us off to some of the other tomfoolery on donottearmedown’s blog. We decided to look for ourselves and lo and behold, here’s the post of donottearmedown accusing Cassandra Clare of having a “Chinese kink” for writing Jessa:

Which, first of all, makes no sense because there’s like 2 Chinese characters in TSC total. If anything CC has a straight white boy kink lmao. But by saying this she was basically implying that the ONLY way Tessa (book!Tessa), or anybody who loves Jem, can love him is if they have a “Chinese kink”. Which donottearmedown can’t seem to be able to understand is an incredibly racist thing to say and think.

They also reblogged this BLM link and proceeded to tag it with absolute nonsense like “#smoke weed #lose weight #wessa”. I don’t know if her intentions were to mock the BLM movement but I still found this to be so incredibly disrespectful and tone deaf.

I also feel like I should mention this ask sent to Tessa in which donottearmedown implies she ~could be~ Asian, but it’s “none of her business anyways” (as if being Asian would absolve anyone of being racist akjsksjsj), but based on the fact that she has a track record of lying and pretending to be a person she’s not (as you will soon see :)) I call bullshit lmao:

I think that was the last of our interactions until today? Tessa and I were distracted because we have, you know, real lives.

But anyway, that brings us to today.

donottearmedown started replying to posts from mine and Tessa’s blogs which she wasn’t tagged in, again, and made several days ago. This one literally wasn’t even about her, it was about someone else that had engaged with one of Tessa’s posts. I made that post over a week ago and had already forgotten about it, but clearly donottearmedown never stops thinking about us 😳

NOW I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THIS POST SPECIFICALLY.

Why? Because donottearmedown and luciequeenofelfame (now luciehervndaie) interacted on this post, as 2 seperate entities. luciequeenofelfame had also interacted with Tessa and I’s original posts at the beginning of June (you can check the replies on the posts!) coming to donottearmedown’s defense, and praising her for her opinions and other shit like that.

Here’s the screenshot. As you can see here, luciehervndaie reblogs from donottearmedown and adds on to their opinion:

Now here’s the kicker: donottearmedown and luciehervndaie are the same person.

As in, this bitch literally made up a second blog so that she can pretend to be someone else agreeing with her own opinions and cheering herself on.

Here’s the proof:

I made this post calling out donottearmedown on their racism. I didn’t bother tagging her in the original post because I knew she was stalking my blog and would see it eventually anyway. 😌 And they took the bait, as you can see.

AND THEN I got the notification that luciequeenofelfame had replied to my post. Here’s the reply:

Now here’s where donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame made an oopsie! 😳

Notice where luciequeenofelfame says “1. I didn’t delete it lmao”. She’s responding to my tags on this post where I’m calling out donottearmedown on her racist post, and my tags read:

“#the fact you went and deleted this post because you KNEW you were about to get slammed #comedy”

(context: @wilhelminacarstairs looked on donottearmedown’s blog recently looking for the post I screenshotted in the link above, and he couldn’t find it so I assumed she deleted it so that I wouldn’t call her out on it. Although she claims she didn’t delete it, so! Maybe it’s still up! Feel free to look for it and let me know lmao)

Now, in the tags I am obviously talking to donottearmedown, correct? So then why is luciequeenofelfame replying that she didn’t delete anything? 🤔 AND JUST AS IM ABOUT TO REPLY-

Wow, looks like I can’t reblog the post. Why? Because luciequeenofelfame has deleted it, and then IMMEDITALY changed her url to luciehvrondaie, hoping it would cover her tracks. Little does she know, tumblr notifications are forever:

As you can see, donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehervndaie realized they made an oopsie, so she deleted her first response and posted it again from the blog she actually MEANT to post it from. Damn if only she knew that @minacarstairs @wilhelminacarstairs and I keep screenshots of e v e r y t h i n g :/ Then she might have gotten away with it! 😩

But yeah lmao here are the posts I made about it immeditaly afterwards calling her out on it because I thought it was funny: X X X X

She defends herself on some of them saying shit like “wow so I’m just making up blogs for support wessa? The majority of the fandom supports Wessa so I’m all of those blogs according to you? I’m thousands of people?!” Or just trying to change the topic back to heronstairs and ignoring the allegations altogether. Like, no luv we’re not saying you’re every single Wessa blog ever. We’re just saying you’re these 2, and we’re right lmao. If you look through both their blogs they also post about the same fandoms, and more damning, make a lot of the same spelling errors. Seriously their speech pattern is exactly the same. Feel free to look through them if you want, and if they don’t start mass-deleting post trying to cover their tracks.

BONUS:

I don’t know how true this is, but according to @fair-but-wilde-child on this ask, donottearmedown is ALSO the infamous twitter stan that complained to CC about TLH having too many gay characters.

EXTRA BONUS:

luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie (donottearmedown’s second account 😌) is the account responsible for that wessa vs jessa comparison chart that went around a while ago LMAOOOOOOOO embarrassing

tl;dr: donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie is a biphobic racist who’s opinions are so bad she has to make a second account to agree with herself

🥺 tragic

Also I wanna say for the record, as @minacarstairs ans @wilhelminacarstairs will testify, I guessed a while ago these accounts were the same person when I noticed their speech patterns were eerily similar, and how luciequeenofelfame always seemed to reply to donottearmedown’s posts IMMEDITATELY after they were posted. 

So the lesson for today? Cinthia is always right. 😤

#WHEW this took a while but here u go #feel free to scroll back through my blog and see the posts #also ive tagged almost everything from these interactions with her url #donottearmedown #replies #bidrewtanaka #long post

[avengersassemble-fics]

Lost and Found

part 05/10 “a weapon”

masterlist

previous part

word count 5k LMAOOO

an: jesus lmao im so sorry this is up late today, i almost had it done last night but wasn’t feeling too hot so i went to bed. but this.. oo man i love this part. we get to meet a new sith character, anakin comes clean about something, and things get..well..haha you’ll see :)

spotify playlist to listen to while you’re reading!

Anakin looked at his Master with a worried look, and Obi-Wan didn’t quite know what to say to him at that moment. His arm was still raised as your voice cut out, and something twisted in his stomach. He looked to the Ivey cave entrance you had disappeared into and tried calling your name through the comm. But there was no answer.

“I’m going in,” he told Obi-Wan. He lowered his arm and Obi-Wan took a step towards him.

“Anakin you know we can’t interfere in this matter—“

“If there’s a Sith in there she could be hurt, or worse killed,” he said back quickly. He looked at him on his side and Obi-Wan pursed his lips.

“I’ll have Rex call for backup,” he stated, and Anakin looked back to the cave, “but the Chancellor will have to be notified of this. And of her.”

Anakin looked down to his feet for a moment, and then back to his Master, and offered a shrug, “The Council couldn’t hide her forever.”

The comm on your wrist glowed green, but you chose to ignore it as you stared at the man across from you. He watched your fingers wiggle at your side, and looked back up to meet your gaze.

“What’s your name?” He asked you simply. You looked him up and down, the breaths you both released letting out noticeable vapor. You could indulge him a bit, and maybe try to get some answers of your own.

“My name is (Y/N),” you paused when he nodded, “and you are?”

“I go by Dash,” he answered smuggly, his overconfidence oozed off him and made your skin crawl more than the cold did, “my Master gifted me this name.”

“Gifted,” you chuckled a bit to yourself, “that’s some gift then.”

His smirk fell and eyebrows narrowed a bit at you. What he gave off now was irritance, but that was good for you. You could easily push his buttons.

“Are you a Jedi?” he asked. He spoke perfectly, a slight accent you couldn’t place, and you nodded at him.

“Are you a Sith?” you questioned back.

He smiled wickedly at you, glancing at the lightsaber on your hip, “Beautiful craftsmanship.”

“Thanks,” you replied, “works as good as it looks.”

“I have no doubt of that,” he said, and began to walk back and forth slowly, “I know that the only Jedi who come here are simply Padawans,” he looked at you, “but you’re too old to be a Padawan and too. . . simple to be a Jedi Master.”

You shrugged, “And you feel too weak to actually think you’re Count Dooku’s, padawan,” you paused, “but I guess the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.”

“Count Dooku is more powerful than your Jedi will ever be,” he spat at you, “the real weak ones are those who don’t see the truth. The Dark Side is the only answer.”

“I’m not here to argue with you whether you think you’re right or not,” you replied. He stopped in his tracks, and moved his long robe behind him.

“Then what are you here for?”

You nodded behind him, “I can’t let you leave with those kyber crystals.”

He chuckled, “Let me? I wasn’t asking for permission.”

“See, that’s the problem with some of you Sith,” your fingers grazed the hilt of your lightsaber, “you take things that don’t belong to you just because you think you can.”

You could see anger rise in his chest as he took a power stance against you, and he grinned, “You have no idea what we are capable of,” his hand gripped his lightsaber and pulled it from his hip, “the weapon we are creating will devastate your Order. And the Republic with it.”

“So that’s why you’re here,” you straightened, “you’re building a weapon with the kyber crystals.”

“What--”

You smiled, “Thank you for that.”

Before he could reply you extended your arms, force shoving him backwards. He landed several feet from where he stood and slid against the ice. You turned your back to him and bolted to the gap you crossed, and jumped across it. His yell echoed around the ice, vibrating under your feet as you ran back the way you came. As you lifted your wrist back up, the comm started to play from the other end.

“(Y/N), come in! Now!” Anakin’s voice rang.

“I’m here,” you breathed and rounded a corner.

“I’m closing in on your location, just hold on,” his voice said again.

Suddenly, the ice beneath you caved in and you yelped. The new hole under your feet had opened up to an icey tube, which you fell down in a rush. You turned a corner one way and then another before the tube flattened out into an open cave. You spun and slid across the surface for a moment until your back collided into a solid icey rock, which knocked the wind out of you. You sat there for a moment to collect yourself, but the impact made your head feel fuzzy. The image of someone sliding down the same iced tube was all you could focus on.

Just as you were going to call out Anakin’s name, your lightsaber flew from your hip. You blinked, trying to clear your vision and saw Dash instead, holding your lightsaber in his hand. He chuckled and you pushed yourself off the ground, one foot in front of the other as you blinked him into focus.

“Pathetic,” he smiled, looking over your hilt, “but this will be a trophy of my first Jedi kill.”

You flexed your hand out, palm open and your lightsaber flew from his grip and back into yours. He glared at you and ignited his weapon, a red beam igniting the area. Before you could ignite yours, a figure dropped in front of you, which made Dash freeze. You faced Anakin’s back, but the surprise from Dash’s body made you grin.

“Anakin Skywalker,” he voiced, turning his lightsaber behind him, “I should’ve known this scum was with you.”

You moved to Anakin’s side, and he glanced at you for a moment. There were no noticeable wounds on you and he looked back to the Sith in front of him, and waved his hand.

“Why don’t we make this easy for the both of us? Surrender now, and you won’t get hurt,” Anakin offered. You looked at him and his eyes darted to you for a moment, and you smiled and shook your head.

“You’re not as funny as you think, Skywalker,” Dash replied. Anakin shrugged and pulled his lightsaber from his hip.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said and ignited his own blue lightsaber. Just as you were about to do the same, he extended his free arm before you, and moved you behind him. Before you could protest, Dash charged forward towards you both, and Anakin rushed to meet him halfway.

Dash attacked first, swinging his red saber towards Anakin, who dodged and blocked each of his swings. Their lightsabers clashed together, Dash pressed into Anakin, and Anakin pushed him backwards a step, before their lightsabers disconnected. Suddenly, Dash leapt into the air, behind you both, his lightsaber coming down to lunge into Anakin, but it got caught by something else. Anakin spun around and was faced opposite you now, your lightsaber clashed against the red.

The white saber made him hesitate, but your focused eyes were trained on Dash. You took a couple steps forward, and forced him to back towards the open cave. Anakin looked past the fight and saw droids coming from where he guessed they were extracting the crystals. Dash was forced to back up a few steps, closer to where the droids were lining up, and he shoved his lightsaber harder into yours, which sent you back towards Anakin.

Dash grinned at you two, and turned to run towards the ships. You ended up beside Anakin again, and he looked from the incoming number of droids to you.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“I’m fine,” you nodded to the droids, “what do we do about these guys?”

“We fight,” he answered, twirling his lightsaber and gripping it in his hand while his other lifted his comm link to his face, “are you planning on joining us anytime soon, Master?”

“I’m working on it,” his voice said back. You gripped your lightsaber in your hand as the droids moved in closer, and they began to fire their blasters. Both of your stances changes as you deflected blast after blast that came your way. Some of the ones you reflected back managed to knock a few droids down, but by your estimate there were still 3 dozen left.

“This wasn’t how I imagined this mission going,” you called out over the blaster fire. The line of droids neared Anakin and you, and he glanced your way.

“How did you imagine this going?” He asked.

“Well,” you paused as one blaster fire ricocheted off your lightsaber and into the droid nearest you, “you know. Casual walk through this ice cave, maybe face some kind of obstacle like my fears or something. I guess what they say about you two is right.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anakin called out.

Before you could answer, the droids had closed in enough that Anakin moved to start attacking them. You mirrored his movements and began to slash through the hunks of metal easily. One dozen down, then two. Only a few were left standing as you both worked your way through the crows of droids, until the roar of the Separatists freighters shook the ground. You swayed a bit and lost your balance for a moment. You didn’t hear the droid come up behind you, and when you turned too late to look at Anakin the droid disintegrated in front of your eyes. Behind it was Master Kenobi, and Anakin rushed over to you two.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Master,” Anakin joked, the group of three turning their lightsabers off.

“I figured you could handle a squadron of droids on your own,” Obi-Wan replied, then averted his attention to the large freighters pulling off from the ground. This cave had opened up to the sky, and the two freighters looked to be slowed by the weight they carried.

“What do we do?” You asked, and looked to Obi-Wan. Anakin did the same, and his Master sighed.

“Unfortunately, there isn’t nothing we can do,” he looked back to the freighters, “we must report back to the Council.”

Obi-Wan began to walk away, and Anakin looked at you. Your eyes followed Obi-Wan before you looked back to Anakin, who offered you a sad smile, and placed a hand on your shoulder briefly. He began to walk away too, but you didn’t move. You squeezed your fist a bit as you debated your next action.

“I’m sorry Master Kenobi,” you suddenly said. Obi-Wan and Anakin both turned to look at you, but your back still faced them.

“Sorry for what, exactly?” Obi-Wan asked. You shifted your feet to look at them, and shrugged your shoulders lightly.

“For the fact I’m about to disobey your orders,” you replied, and turned back to the freighters. Before Obi-Wan could question you further you ran off. Right towards the freighters. Anakin grinned as his Master tried to find his words. Your feet pushed against the snow covered ice until you were closer to the other side where the freighters once were. You squinted into the sky and slowed your breaths before extending your hand forward and closing your eyes.

The sound of metal filled the air, and the two Jedi looked into the sky. One of the freighters looked to be pulled back, and Anakin could see the engines struggled to pull forward. He smiled to himself.

“What is she doing?!” Obi-Wan asked feverishly. Anakin looked at his Master and jogged backwards.

“The right thing!” He called. Anakin turned and sped off behind you. He occasionally glanced up at the freighter that hadn’t really moved since he heard that metal sound. He slowed his steps as he got closer and extended his arm forward and focused on the large freighter. His power with yours started to pull the freighter back towards the ground, and Anakin ended up right by your side, and your eyes fluttered open to glance at him. He offered a smile at you, and you chuckled a bit before looking back to the freighter.

The Force between the two of you felt like it twirled together and worked to pull the freighter back. The more you concentrated the more you felt Anakin’s pull. It was like your two connections danced together, but his felt more controlling. The freighter wasn’t moving much more back to the ground then before, not until someone else stood by your side. Anakin and you glanced to your left side at Obi-Wan, who was also focused on the freighter.

“Don’t lose your focus,” he said. Anakin held back a laugh while you smiled. Now, with the three of you, the Force you used was stronger. The freighter let out a cry from the pressure, coming backward towards them. The three staggered backwards and continued that struggle until the engines had had enough. Smoke began to come from it, and it began to fall on its own. As it crashed against the ground, the three of you held your arms up to block the shock wave of wind it sent towards you.

When the smoke cleared, and a Republic ship arrived at Illum, they were able to recover a large amount of kyber crystals. Unfortunate for the three of you, you had the Council to answer to back on Coruscant. As you stood in the Council chambers, Anakin by your side and Obi-Wan on his other, you listened to several Masters argue back and forth.

“What do they need kyber crystals for?”

“Now that the Chancellor is aware of her-“

“What are the Separatists planning?”

While they were talking over one another, you shifted your weight from one foot to the next, and glanced sideways at Anakin. He did the same, and lightly shrugged his shoulders. He just wanted you to relax.

“Calm, we must be,” Master Yoda finally said. The Jedi in the room were silenced almost immediately, and relaxed into their chairs. He looked at Anakin and you and motioned his hand around.

“If true this news is, we must inform the Chancellor,” he said, and stood from his seat. The cane he used he placed in front of him, and nodded, “speak with him I will. For now, rest you must get.”

The three of you nodded, but he wasn’t done speaking.

“Master Kenobi, if you can join me, hm?” He asked. Anakin and you glanced at Obi-Wan but he nodded in agreement. With one final bow, the two of you left the chambers, and you released the tension you held in your shoulders. Anakin watched on, and placed a hand on your arm.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

You nodded, though that fuzzy feeling entered your head once more, “I’m fine, think I hit my head after the ice caved it, but nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t know,” he said, glancing over your frame, “maybe we should get you checked out. Y’know, just in case.”

“Ani, I’m fine,” you tried to reassure him.

A mild concussion. When Anakin was able to drag you down to medical, and the droid said that out loud you fared at the object. Anakin though, was thrilled he was right, and had a smug look on his face, while you just sat there and glared.

“So what does that mean?” He asked, laughter evident in his voice and it took all of the strength in you not to smack his arm.

“The patient just needs to rest for now, any exertion or stressful interactions should be avoided for the next 24 hours at most,” it said, and you grumbled a bit.

“We can make sure she avoids exertion,” Anakin said and nodded his thanks. He helped you off the table and you mumbled a thank you as well. But as soon as you both exited the medical bay he laughed.

“Anakin, you are the definition of stressful interactions,” you said, which only made him chuckle more.

“You just hate to be proven wrong,” he smiled.

“That’s not what we’re talking about here.”

Anakin’s smile made your heart ache. The way his eye twinkled when he laughed, that happiness that radiated off of him made you smile too. He was also the walking definition of attraction, and being in his presence just made you happy.

Of course, that happy grin of his seemed to disappear as he looked behind you. As you noticed, you turned around to see the same Senator from before. You looked back at Anakin who had gone almost completely stone faced, and raised a brow at him.

“Anakin?” You asked. His eyes averted from the incoming woman and looked down at you.

“What?” He asked. His voice was deeper and sharper. You frowned at him.

“What’s going on?” You asked.

“Nothing,” he cut you off, before the woman was near, “Senator Amidala.”

“Padawan Skywalker,” she greeted with a soft smile on her face. You looked back at Anakin, who tried to show no emotion. But you saw through it. He was nervous.

“I just heard about what happened on Illum,” she said sweetly, and glanced at you for a moment, “the Chancellor has asked me to check in on you and Master Kenobi and,” she paused when her eyes landed on you, “I’m sorry I don’t know your name. Padawan..?”

“(Y/N),” you answered, “just (Y/N).”

“Pleasure to meet you,” she smiled. You nodded.

“Pleasure’s mine, Senator.”

She looked back at Anakin, “Do you have a moment?”

Before he could answer, you cleared your throat, “Yes he does. I was just returning to my quarters,” you glanced at Anakin who looked to clench his jaw but you nodded again at the Senator, “it was nice to meet you.”

You couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That tension you felt from the both of them made you uncomfortable. You just had an inkling that something was going on. The way she looked at him reminded you of, well, that way you looked at him. As you returned to your apartment, or quarters, you felt light in your head. What it meant you weren’t sure but the tears that stung your eyes were of something you couldn’t admit to yourself.

As you stripped from your clothing and went to the refresher, you stayed in it as long as you could. The hot steam washed away that days icey touch and the goosebumps on your body. You don’t know how long you were in there but when the temperature started to drop you turned it off and stepped out. The steam in the room covered the mirror, but the towel you grabbed you easily wiped it off before wrapping yourself up in the fabric.

The things that had filled your mind were that of jealousy, sadness, and resentment. As much as you tried to clear your mind it wasn’t working. Instead, through the steam that was rebuilding on the mirror you looked at yourself. You pondered the thought of what Anakin thought when he looked at you. Sometimes you could’ve sworn he looked at you like when he saw you for the first time on that Republic carrier. It made your cheeks hot to think of when he had seen you just awhile ago in this very situation.

But you cleared those thoughts from your mind. Just thinking of it made you feel uncertain. You carefully stepped into the bedroom and glanced into the open living area. Part of you hoped Anakin was there, but then seeing he wasn’t made the other part relax. You grabbed a soft silky sleeping gown and removed the towel from your body, and let that silky texture cover you. It didn’t take you long before you hung your towel back in the bathroom, and your arm began to shake. Maybe today really had taken its toll.

You pulled the blankets on the bed back and slid under them, resting on your back as you tried to relax. Your heart beat hard in your chest, enough to where you could feel it in your ears. You closed your eyes and tried to welcome the darkness of sleep. It wasn’t long before you heard the light beeping at the door.

Your eyes opened slowly as you forced yourself back up to your feet. Carefully you walked to the front door and paused before it. You didn’t need to open it to know who stood behind it. Your hand hovered over the control panel for a moment before it fell on top of it and the door whisked open. Your arms stayed on the wall, and you looked up at the face on the other side.

Anakin stood there and looked at you with kind eyes. You couldn’t help but smile softly at him, even in the darkness. You took a step aside and he came in.

“You didn’t have to rush off,” he said carefully.

You removed your hand from the panel and the door closed and locked behind him. You looked at him and shrugged.

“Honestly, Anakin. . . When she’s around something shifts in your behavior.”

He sighed, “I know.”

You crossed your arms, the space between you two was a comfortable amount, by the pressure in the room wasn’t, “So. . . What is it?”

“We uh,” he rubbed his face, “we used to be together, Padme and I. The Senator, I mean. But, not. . . Anymore.”

You nodded, that heavy feeling lifted off your shoulders, “I see.”

He shook his head, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that, I know it isn’t the Jedi way.”

“Well,” you looked at him and smiled a bit, “I’m not a Jedi, remember.”

He chuckled a bit but it felt forced, you took a few steps over to him and grabbed his hands in yours, “Ani, I understand. If you’re worried I’ll tell anyone, I won’t.”

He looked down at you, and in the darkness his blue eyes looked deeper. His fingers threaded with your just a little bit before he pulled them away gently.

“Thank you, I-I’m sorry if I woke you,” he said quickly, moving to the side like he was going to leave.

“You didn’t,” you said rather fast, which made him stop in his tracks, “can you. . . Stay actually? I’m not feeling that great.”

He slowly nodded and you extended your hand out to him. He looked from your face to your hand before taking it in his. You led him towards the bedroom, before releasing his hand and moved to the side of the bed you originally laid on. He hesitated, but only because you glanced back at him. He had removed his robe and held it when your eyes met his, and you giggled softly.

“Sorry,” you mumbled and turned your back to him to face the window over the bed.

Anakin smiled to himself and folded his robe neatly to place on the chair in the room. While he undressed, his eyes didn’t leave you. He looked over your back, from your shoulders down past your soft folds and over your arms. You were breathtaking in the moonlight. He removed his boots and placed them gently on the floor in a soft thud, his belt was next and he placed it next to his robe, and then finally came his shirt. He pulled it over his head and folded it neatly on top of his robe. But, he glanced down at his gloves, and then back at your back.

“Ani, can I turn around now?” You asked him.

He kept them on, and cleared his throat, placing his hands behind him. You took that as a yes and turned around. You glanced at him for a moment before you got into the bed and under the covers, but sat up and stared at him.

He was broad and toned, even you could see that in the darkness. But the way he stood made you raise a brow at him, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said and walked to the opposite side of the bed. He hid his arms from you, but when he pulled back the covers you noticed the gloves still covering him. One went up his forearm, and the other stopped at his wrist. He carefully placed him a fair distance from you and put his arms in his lap. You looked from his hands to his face.

“Anakin,” you carefully said, and he just said a light mhm, “why are you still wearing your gloves?”

He was silent for a moment, and his head fell slightly. You frowned, inching a bit closer to him.

“I’m. . . Ashamed.” He answered. You shook your head.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to see me like this,” he said. You watched him speak and the hesitation that lingered in his voice. You looked at his hands once more, and carefully pushed yourself up on your knees to face him. His head whipped to you as you moved, but he froze when you grabbed his hand, the one barely covered. Your fingers worked on removing the black cloth, and his hand was exposed to you, but that wasn’t the one that worried him. When you slowly grabbed his other arm, his free hand suddenly grabbed your wrist. You froze and met his gaze. But his grip was loose and welcoming, and you carefully began to peel the glove from this arm.

The metal that met your sight made you slowly near his automatic fingers, but you placed the gloves to the side either way. Your fingers ghosted over the metal palm, and you shook your head.

“How did it happen?” You asked quietly. Anakin was taken back by the way you graciously and softly handled his metal arm. You hovered over him in a way that made his mind feel cloudy.

“I thought I was stronger than I was,” he paused as you nodded, “I was foolish.”

You looked up and met his eyes after he finished, and smiled sadly at him. You carefully grabbed both hands in your and held them close to your lap.

“Can I show you something?” You asked him.

“Of course,” he whispered. The distance between you two had closed significantly, but you released his hands and turned from him, still resting on your legs. He whatcha as your back faced him and your arm snaked out of your dress. He sat up straighter, seeing the fabric fall to your hips as your hands went to cover your breasts with the blanket on the other side.

You looked over your shoulder at him, and Anakin edged closer to you. Your back was illuminated by the moonlight, and the image before him made his stomach drop. Cuts and lashes covered your back, leaving scars scattered across your perfect skin. He didn’t realize it as he used his hands to trace over the little and bigger marks over your back, but the way your skin tingled under his touch made something in his core harden. He was close enough to where his breath hit the nape of your neck, and shot goosebumps down your arms.

“These scars tell a story about us,” you whispered, turning your head slightly, Anakin’s face was near yours, hovering just above your shoulder, “it’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

His lips were close enough to kiss. The way his hands trailed over your back made your thighs press together under the dress. The look in his eyes made you want to just drop the blanket and turn to him right there. Right now. But you looked down for a moment, and Anakin let his eyes wander over you in secret. Your dress laid at your hips and he could see your chest lift and fall with your breathing. All that stood between him was your hands, and he could quickly pin those above you.

You moved first and shifted yourself slightly to alleviate the throb between your legs, and Anakin moved back a bit to grasp the sleeves of your dress in his hands. You let him pull the dress up, his fingers gilded over the sides of your body and made you shiver. Anakin grinned a bit to himself as you carefully pushed your arms through the dress. Now fully covered you moved so that you faced him. Anakin was inches from you, his hand still ghosted over your arm closest to him. Your eyes locked for a moment, and it was enough for him to retract himself from you.

“We should rest,” he said quietly, and you watched as he laid down on his back, just flat against the bed. Silently, you laid down as well, and curled onto your side away from him.

“Goodnight, Anakin,” you whispered.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep, but Anakin stayed wide awake. He laid there with one arm under his head and one by his side. Beside him you slept and he listened to you breathe evenly. His mind raced at the thought of what happened just earlier, the feeling he wanted to act on. He didn’t know what it meant, and he knew he couldn’t act on it--

You shifted next to him and his thoughts froze. He watched as you rolled over to him, past his arm, and into his side. He had to lift his arm before you impacted and he held it there for a moment as he tried to gauge what to do. But it was instinct. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer, and that’s when he finally fell asleep. He was at peace.

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[starlightinhumanform]

Breaking Point

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ships: Loceit (could be interpreted as platonic or romantic)

Summary: Sometimes being a light side just does’t cut it. After a particularly aggravating argument, Logan begins… changing. (Logan centric angst fic with guest appearances of most of the others,,,, but mostly Janus).

Warnings: Negativity/Coldness/Miscommunications Throughout, Mild Language Throughout, Some Mentions of Injury/Illness Used as Metaphors

Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

A/N: This was written for the wonderful Spring Fling event here on tumblr! It was so much fun and I can’t wait to participate again! I know I’ve been very inactive lately and I’m very sorry for that (mental illness can be a real kicker lmao), but I’m trying to get back into my groove of writing and posting!! Stay safe and healthy. I love you all 🖤✨

Ao3 Link   Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

Logan was not a stranger to emotion. Despite popular belief, he experienced them like any other side. The difference was his ability to tamp them down, keep them from clouding his logic; it was an ability he prided himself on. Sure, sometimes his anger got the better of him when the others were being far too ridiculous. But for the most part, he was clean, calculated, cool.

Right now, though, his head was pounding. Virgil was shouting hoarsely and Roman was yelling back even louder. Patton just whimpered, trying to get the two to stop fighting but failing miserably as he flinched back from both of their raised voices. Thomas stood in the middle of it all with glazed eyes.

And Logan, what was he doing? Standing to the side. Being completely useless, it seemed. He pressed his fingers against his temples and tried to massage away the pain. His efforts once again failed and he turned his attention back to the situation.

Thomas had to choose whether or not to go to a Broadway audition and wanted to consult with his sides to get their opinions on the opportunity. Unfortunately his plan had backfired and now the choice was even less clear. It was a debate, they were trying to make a decision— Logan should have been leading the entire thing. Instead, he had been shoved to the side as Virgil and Roman turned the discussion into a fight.

“It’s too big of a risk! If Thomas fails at this, he may never audition again. Think about how that would hurt Patton. Think about how it could ruin his whole career,” Virgil hissed.

Roman answered too clearly, over-pronouncing his words as he spat them out like they tasted as bitter as his tone, “You’re suffocating me. You’re keeping Thomas from achieving his dreams. Your worries are simply too much. If anything is going to ruin his career, it’s going to be you.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows and gave a cold laugh, “Oh, I’m sorry? I thought we agreed it was my job to protect Thomas? So why don’t you just back the hell up and remember your place.”

“My place? And where exactly would that be?”

“Safety comes before your stupid fantasies.”

“This isn’t even about safety! This is about you being a coward!”

The room went quiet. Quiet, not calm. It was like the moments of silent after a lightning strike when everyone holds their breath, waiting for the roar of thunder. Logan needed to interject before things got even worse and this was his best opportunity to do so.

He cleared his throat, “If you two would like to pause this illogical arguing for a moment, I would like to make a few points.”

All eyes turned on him. He was nearly taken aback by the amount of anger in both Virgil and Roman’s gazes, suddenly turned on him instead of each other. It burned against his skin as they both glared at him. Patton tried to give him a smile but it was far weaker than usual. Thomas’ eyes were the worst— dazed from all the yelling, confused and torn apart from his aspects disagreeing so violently. Logan felt like he had failed; failed them all, but especially Thomas. It was his job to keep order, to weigh the pros and cons, to unravel problems, to make things clear. And when the others needed him the most, he had let it all fall into the hands’ of chaos.

“I just think there are better ways to make this decision. You two have been yelling each other for over half an hour and it’s gotten nowhere.”

“Yeah, because he refuses to admit that he’s wrong!” Roman interrupted.

Logan gritted his teeth, “Please try to restrain yourself from talking over me.”

Virgil was the one to break in this time, “Logan, maybe this isn’t the type of argument that you belong in.”

“Not the- not the type of argument I belong in?” Logan could almost laugh, “This is the exact sort of discussion I need to be included in because otherwise we end up in a mess like this!”

“Logan,” Virgil growled, “I don’t think you’re understanding what’s going on here. This is an issue me and Roman need to settle. No matter what that means.”

“No matter what that means?? Are you even listening to yourself? That’s the sort of talking that causes disaster!”

“No, Virgil’s right about one thing,” Logan turned his attention to Roman as he was interrupted once again, “This is between the two of us. Don’t get yourself involved.”

“If I don’t get involved, you’re going to tear Thomas apart trying to get your ways!” Logan could feel his temper slipping away from him just as his control of the situation was slipping through his fingers. These idiots had their heads so far up their asses, they couldn’t even see the damage they were doing to everyone else.

“Logan!” Roman snapped his name to get his attention, “Maybe you should just go.”

He scoffed, “Go? You really think you can solve this problem by yourselves?”

“Go.”

Logan glanced at the stairwell where Virgil had snarled a singular syllable at him, “Excuse me?”

“He said to go,” Roman was glaring at him, “And, in this case, I agree with him.”

Logan’s mouth fell open. It was ridiculous. They needed him, but apparently they just couldn’t see it. They needed him, but they didn’t want him. He shook his head. A laugh was rising up his throat but he couldn’t figure out what was so funny.

He looked around the room, “You really want me to go? Fine then.”

Thomas and Patton both seemed distressed but said nothing to stop him. Roman and Virgil didn’t have to say anything; the anger boiling behind both of their stares communicated plenty.

And that was all he needed. Logan sunk out of the room without another word.

He reached the mindspace in a matter of seconds, appearing in the dining room. The laugh that had been trapped in his throat bubbled over and crashed to the floor as it morphed into a cry. He clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles mixed with sobs and spilled past his fingers, filling the quiet room with hiccuping whimpers. It was just too much for him to wrap his mind around. His beautiful, perfect mind. And somehow they had managed to reduced it to this— a wreck, an absolute mess, emotions crashing into each other and spilling over onto his face so he could do little more than grip the back of a chair until his knuckles were white and he couldn’t even see through the ocean in his eyes.

His skin felt hot as the tears rolled over his cheekbones and directly onto the floor. He was not a stranger to emotion, but this— whatever the hell “this” was— felt brand new. New like new boots, the type that leave your skin blistered and red and raw. His body was shaking and his stomach turned and he was sure that if he sobbed any harder he might start retching.

He felt so vulnerable; he was a scar that had been scratched at so many times it had finally ripped open and started bleeding again.

Logan was angry. Angrier than he had been in years. He just wanted to help. Why couldn’t they see that? Why wouldn’t they let him help? But more importantly, why couldn’t he help? Was he useless? Was he a tool that had no purpose, tossed aside by the others like a spare screw that didn’t fit anywhere?

“Logan?”

His head shot up, back straightening and squaring up in under a second. Janus was standing on the other side of the room like he had frozen in the middle of his movements. His eyebrows were woven together in what seemed like concern.

“You don’t look ok?” His expression was a painting of confusion.

Logan rubbed at his eyes from beneath his glasses, “I- I assure you, I’m perfectly fine.”

Janus just laughed, silky and self-satisfied as always but maybe a little softer than usual, “Lying’s kind of my thing, remember, Logan? You look... great.”

Logan let his head hang, not even trying to keep up appearances now that Janus had called him out. He glared at the other side from over the rim of his glasses, “Can I help you? Or are you done ridiculing me?”

Janus took a couple hesitant steps forward, tilting his head to the side like he was absolutely fascinated by Logan. He began speaking slowly but it was obvious from his intense stare that his focus was very far from the words leaving his mouth, “Ridiculing? Oh dear, no, that was not my intention. What’s the matter? Something must be incredibly wrong to have put you in such a state.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Logan snarled, “Am I not allowed to act as irrationally as the rest of you? Is sanity expected only of me? Maybe I’m tired of it! Do you understand how exhausting it is to carry the weight of responsibility with no one to lend a hand? In fact you all fight against me, pushing me downhill and spiraling Thomas further and further away from stability. Well, maybe I’m tired of it. Maybe I’m so damn tired of yelling until my voice is hoarse, just because I’m trying to look out for the well being of everyone else only to be discounted because ‘it’s not fun’ or because I couldn’t possibly understand, being the cold and unfeeling robot that I am. I am sick of it!”

“Logan, I’m going to need you to calm down.”

Logan blinked back into the present.

Janus was standing in front of him, hands raised to hold Logan’s face. Logan was startled to find his cheeks damp once again with tears beneath Janus’ quivering fingers. Janus was staring at him with a combination of fascination and terror.

“Logan do you know what’s happening?” Janus’ voice shook nearly as hard as his hands as he drew them back to his chest.

Logan could feel his forehead crease as he stared back at Janus, “What do you mean?”

Janus laughed but it had lost its honeyed qualities; just a humorless, sharp exhale, “Look around you.”

He raised his head at Janus’ cue, taking in the room around him. A glass that had left on the table was now broken into pieces. The glass of picture frames hung on the wall now lay shattered on the carpet. Items scattered on shelfs throughout had tipped over or rolled onto the floor.

Logan’s mouth fell open, “Did I— How— What— Did I do that?”

Janus nodded his head slowly like he wasn’t sure to believe it either, “The whole mindspace started shaking.”

“What does this mean?” Logan reached out slowly to pick up a shard of the glass. His hands trembled as he studied the piece, turning it between his fingers as if he could find an answer in its angular edges.

“Well, sometimes when a dark side is distressed enough, they can negatively affect the environment around them,” Janus had been speaking in slow, almost broken segments as if he had been constructing the sentence word by word, choosing carefully and cautiously. Now, though, he started rushing his words out like they burned his tongue, “You know, like the screaming thing Remus does or when Virgil makes the whole room go dark, that sort of thing.”

“Wait. Janus, you said ‘dark side.’ And don’t try to lie to me, I have a perfect memory and I know what you said.”

Janus winced and tried for a smile, “Yes, well...”

Logan arched one of his eyebrows, “You are aware that I’m not a dark side, yes? And unlike Virgil, I was never once in my existence a dark side.”

“No, no I know that,” He clasped and unclasped his hands together serval times as if the awkward movement could fill the even more awkward silence, “I’m implying that you might be becoming one?”

“Oh, please,” Logan scoffed, “Is that even possible? And how have I even done anything to deserve the title of being ‘dark’?”

Janus mirrored Logan’s raised brow, “Oh, and I’ve earned such a label? The point is, you’re starting to act more and more like us. Whether or not any of us are actually deserve that title is a debate for another day.”

Logan studied the face in front of him. Janus was a master of deception— of course he was— but in this moment he seemed completely open, completely genuine. And if Janus was being honest... well, that could be a bad thing.

He opened his mouth to speak but the words were slow to come to his tongue, “So, assuming this hypothetical you’ve proposed, how could this happen? How is such a shift even a possibility?”

Janus gave another humorless laugh but at least he didn’t sound terrified this time, “I really don’t have the answer to that one.”

Logan stared done at the floor, eyes roaming the pattern of the carpet but his mind incredibly far away. Was that possible? Could a side go “bad”? More importantly, could he go bad? Was he bad? Had he failed Thomas so much, hurt the others so much, provided so little use yet so much ill-will that—

“If anyone has the answers, it’s going to be you.”

Janus’ voice broke through Logan’s thoughts, “What?”

Janus pulled out two chairs from underneath the table and faced them towards each other. He took a seat in one and pointed at the other, “Something is obviously wrong. Tell me what’s going on.”

Logan stumbled into the chair, stunned by the commanding note in Janus’ tone. He sat down and stared blankly across at the other side, unsure of where to even start. He pursed his lips for a moment, “Why does it matter?”

“Because you knocked my favourite mug off of its shelf and I need answers,” Janus rolled his eyes, “If what I think is happening is happening, that’s a huge change that could affect everyone— including Thomas. Now stop avoiding the question.”

Logan glared down at his hands gripping each other in his lap. His vocabulary had abandoned him. This simply was not a familiar situation to him. He shared facts, advice, outside information; but feelings, his subjective truth? That stayed locked away.

“Let’s start with why you’re crying, ok?” Janus’ voice was gentle but his question was still very clearly an instruction.

Logan jerked his head up as he realized there were tears running down his face. Again. He cursed under his breath as he rubbed them away, “I don’t even know. I guess I’m just not used to doing this, this sharing of emotions.”

Janus nodded, “And why aren’t you with the others? It sounds like there’s quite an argument going on up there. You usually jump right into the fray.”

“I don’t know,” Logan pinched his nose and tried to ignore the burning ache in his chest. It was strange, the emotion so raw and intense that it had the effect of a physical wound. It was like the tissue of his rib cage was being torn apart, “I tried to join in, to try and add at least a little reason to the discussion... but they refused to listen.”

“Logan, have they ever listened you about anything?”

He let his head fall back down to avoid looking at Janus, “Not really. I can’t help but think I’ve failed Thomas.”

Janus placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder, “No, no that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to know if the others took your advice.”

Logan raised his gaze to make eye contact with Janus, “Well, sometimes.”

“But do you have to work to get them to even hear you?”

Logan laughed, “Oh, yeah.”

“And to they ever listen to you about you? Do they even ask?”

“Why would they?” Logan paused, “Wait, should they?”

Janus stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, pity swimming in his eyes, “I think I see the problem. I think your negative interactions with the others is causing you to turn into a dark side. It’s almost like a defense mechanism or something.”

“But my interactions with the others haven’t been negative. They can be frustrating, yes, but they’re the closest things to friends that I would ever have. At the very least, they are my companions. Right?”

Janus grimaced, “From what you were saying about ten seconds ago, their treatment of you hasn’t exactly been positive. I’m not say they’re not your friends, just that... maybe they don’t act like it as much as they should. They don’t seem value you or what you have to say.”

“But I need them to,” Logan spoke slowly, deep in thought, “How else am I supposed to help Thomas, to fulfill my purpose?”

Janus said nothing and Logan continued he train of thought, “I guess it makes perfect sense for me to do what’s necessary to be heard. I can’t protect Thomas from their violent irrationality if they don’t listen to me. I guess this is just the natural course of action.”

Janus seemed hesitant as he nodded, “I mean... yes, I guess so.”

“Besides—,” Logan shrugged, “—maybe being a dark side isn’t so bad.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan smirked, “Sometimes you need to raise your voice to be heard; if I need to scare the others a little to cut through the chaos, then so be it. And it seems that I’ve been given the perfect tool to do so.”

“Logan, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea... ”

But Janus’ voice was already fading away as Logan rose back into the argument. He had been ignored for the last time. Never again would he be brushed to the side for being the cold outcast. They would listen to him— whether they liked it or not.

Logan was not a stranger to emotion. And right now, he was smiling. Grinning, in fact— ear to ear, power flickering in his eyes. He was the voice of reason and no longer would he be an accessory to their foolishness.

If you want to be added to my Sanders Sides fic taglist, just send an ask or reply to this post :p 

~ @phan-fander @abi-beehive @fandomfan315 @cas-is-a-hunter @reggieleigh07 @endless-rain-of-words @vicdehart @im-actually-ok @softnic @catolicabuena @icequeenoriginal ~

#loceit #platonic loceit #romantic loceit #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides angst #ts janus #janus sanders #ts logan #logan sanders #logan angst #logan sanders angst #dark side!logan #logan x deceit #starlight writes

[courier-sux]

20 OTP Questions

tagged by @potatocrab​​​, thank you!! these two deserve something sweet after all the stuff i put them through lol

tagging: @ani-stark​​, @synicalchaos​​​, and anyone else who’s got a ship they wanna gush about <3

Jackal & Boone — “Problem Solvers”

1. Who can out-drink the other?

They’re the same height, but Boone is definitely more of a unit than Jackal. He’ll always have her beat even if she does hold her liquor pretty well.

2. Who says “I love you” more?

For a long time, the main reason Boone doesn’t tell Jackal how he feels is because of the lingering belief that saying “I love you” out loud is just asking for the universe to screw them over. It takes a while for him to grow out of that mindset — even when he does, Jackal says it more often. After keeping her mouth shut for so long, the novelty of being able to say it whenever she wants never really wears off. She knows how he feels long before they’re able to talk about it (and I’m not giving away who cracks first), but it’s appreciated when he says it back.

3. Who has trouble sleeping alone?

Both of them really struggle to sleep alone. Jackal is prone to paranoia and sleeps fitfully without anyone around to protect her. Meanwhile, Boone has a hard enough time falling and staying asleep even when Jackal is near due to his anxiety, insomnia, and PTSD — holding/being held by her is a much-needed reminder that they’re both safe, and a great comfort when he wakes up from a nightmare.

4. Who swears more?

Jackal, if only because she’s more vocal in general. Boone’s no saint either.

5. Who does more of the housework?

They split it pretty evenly. It’s easy to give Jackal a tool and direct her energy into doing something productive, but it’s just as easy for her to get distracted or forget what she was supposed to be doing. She’s the type to let things pile up before dealing with them all at once. Boone’s able to reliably stick to a routine.

6. Who forgets their anniversary?

They don’t really have an anniversary until they get married, about five years after their first meeting. Until then it’s somewhat up in the air as to what it would be — whether it’s when they confessed, when they first slept together, when they told their friends, etc. I can’t really see either of them forgetting, though Jackal can be somewhat absent-minded at times — Boone would just find it funny and wait to see how long it took her to remember. He’d probably hear her yell “WAIT, TODAY’S OUR ANNIVERSARY” from the other room as soon as she did.

7. Who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Boone, and this was something Jackal learned pretty quickly the first time they shared a bed. She gets revenge by sticking her cold hands up his shirt when he wakes up. In the meantime, she’ll just end up human backpack-ing.

8. Who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

It’s a good thing Jackal usually falls asleep first, because Boone snores often, especially if he lays on his back. She hates doing anything to disturb him while he’s sleeping and has gotten pretty good at tuning it out, but if it’s really keeping her awake, she’ll try to turn his head so he stops.

9. Who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?

Jackal, 100%. This only gets worse once she has kids, because they do the exact same thing and Boone has an even harder time saying no to them. They end up with like four dogs, two cats, and a gecko.

10. Who usually makes dinner?

Boone. I’ve mentioned Jackal’s questionable cooking skills before — basically, if you want to avoid a fire or a mess, it’s best to leave it to someone else. She usually helps out by chopping ingredients (as she enjoys any excuse to use a knife), doing dishes, or just keeping him company.

11. Who plays their music out loud?

Jackal has her Pip-Boy (or any available radio) tuned to Radio New Vegas almost all the time, especially if she’s traveling or working on something — it helps her focus. Even when there isn’t any music playing, she’ll provide her own by humming, tapping her foot, or singing under her breath. The familiar sound of her voice/movement helps Boone get to sleep when it’s her turn to keep watch.

12. Who hogs the bathroom?

Definitely Jackal, especially if she’s dressing up or trying to look nice. That hair doesn’t style itself.

13. Who gives the most compliments?

It’s the resident smooth-talker, Jackal. She’s not afraid to point out when she thinks Boone looks particularly handsome, and it always puts a smile on his face. Boone is more likely to silently admire, but the rarity of his compliments makes them carry more weight.

14. Who usually starts/causes arguments between them?

Boone usually causes arguments, while Jackal’s temper is what escalates them. His tendency to try to shut her out is incredibly frustrating to her at times. Before they finally get into a relationship (and both go to therapy lmao), they have some pretty bad fights, often ending with one or the other storming away before they cool off and apologize — luckily, this means they don’t have nearly as many fights once they’re together.

After they get married, their main argument tends to be in regards to Jackal being reckless and Boone being overprotective because he’s terrified of something happening to her — especially once she’s pregnant. He gets angry, but it’s all a result of the fear of losing his spouse and child again. Though Jackal doesn’t like feeling controlled or stifled, she tries to be more careful once she realizes why he’s upset.

15. Who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?

Of course it’s Jackal. She definitely tries to use cliche pick-up lines on Boone or whispers stuff in his ear to make him flustered.

16. Who gives the other cringe-worthy pet names?

Jackal, and this starts well before they’re in a relationship as a result of Boone’s refusal to give her his first name. Most of them are just words that rhyme with his name — Boone Moon (or Blue Boone), Kaboone, Boonedocks, etc. As they grow closer, Jackal starts referring to him using her limited Spanish, either with terms of endearment/compliments (cariño, guapo), or good-natured insults (tonto, idiota). These confuse Boone for a while, and it doesn’t help that she usually lies about their meaning while Raul refuses to explain because he thinks it’s funny. Once they’re together, she usually refers to him as cariño or Boonie — calling him Craig is reserved for when she’s pissed at him.

17. Who fusses over the other when they get sick?

Boone is one of the few people who can get Jackal to actually stay in bed when she’s sick — otherwise, she won’t take it seriously and will end up getting worse. He’s more of a worrier just in general, so he does his best to take care of her when she needs it.

18. Who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?

Boone has a hard time staying mad at Jackal. She’s too damn charming, especially if she’s actively trying to get on his good side again. I think I’ve referenced this video before, but Julien dancing with Jenna to distract her and her inability to stay angry (“I can’t stand you when you’re like, so charming and sweet” / “Wait, I was mad a second ago!”) always reminds me of Jackal and Boone.

19. Who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?

If one of them is sad, scared, or panicked, the first thing they do is turn to the other. Jackal’s more likely to seek that comfort out, but she can tell when Boone needs it too — whether it’s shame or guilt that stops him, he appreciates it when she reaches out first.

20. Who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

Both of them are very physically affectionate, as they share physical touch as a main love language. It’s pretty common to see them casually touching in some way or another when they’re together — whether it’s holding hands, putting an arm around the other, or simply sitting close enough for their thighs to touch. Jackal is usually the one to initiate more intimate gestures, but Boone returns them tenfold. He has a much easier time expressing how he feels when he doesn’t have to use words to do it — it’s the best way for him to show his love.

#i love these idiots so much #boone x courier #otp: problem solvers #oc: jackal #boone #oc memes

[halcyonmusings]

eris x teague for the ship ask, please 💕👽

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Teague gets invited to the Golden Gato by other overseers which LOL but Teague wanted to fit in and not give away anything of his ulterior motives. He literally chose Eris because he thought she was the prettiest girl.

What was their first impression of each other?

Eris was taken aback at an overseer being at the Gato and she thought he looked bored/mildly uncomfortable while he was being pressured into picking a girl. Then when she took him to her room he stayed several feet away from her and didn’t attempt to make any moves on her which she weirdly liked lmao. Teague like I mentioned just thought she was very pretty but beyond that he didn’t think much of her and didn’t really want to talk to her at first until he made small talk with her and thought she was clever/funny.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

No one really knew.. I mean the girls at the cat had inklings but they didn’t talk about it. They did tease Teague when he’d visit by saying “Let me guess, you’re here for Eris? ;)” Other than that no one had expressed for them to not be together. 

Who felt romantic feelings first?

Eris.... dumb hoe. It happened after Teague had been taken to his bdsm trap at the square but of course Eris didn’t know that. When he returned after he’d been rescued, she Knew that there was something more because if it had been anyone else she wouldn’t have cared if they came back, but with Teague, she’d been relieved to see that he returned to her, so from there her feelings for him grew.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Eris did mainly due to her not wanting to get close to any of her clients. Teague just buried the feelings deep down knowing there couldn’t be anything more between them.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Teague would ignore it, Eris would believe it.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Teague did, but it was kinda funny the way he asked. Mainly due to her being a courtesan, so she did have clients... but he was like “Could you.. ask for clients that don’t sleep with you?” and was like “That’s how I get paid....?” so she had to get clients who asked for massages or like footjobs idk it was pretty funny though

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

They can’t really date, but he did take her out once on a walk around the Cat.. nothing eventful lmao but Eris had a nice time getting to be out of the cat and have a conversation with Teague with their clothes on, so.

What was their first kiss like?

Eris kissed Teague when they first met. He’d been acting standoffish with her and she kept getting close to him and asked him if he’d ever been with a courtesan before. He told her no and that he had no interest. She was gonna give him a kiss on the cheek but when he’d seen her coming close to her he was going to ask what she was doing, but the movement of turning to see her made her kiss him on the lips but she went all in. Teague got a boner from it and ran off rhfkjlfjflf

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

I’d say this was Teague’s first relationship where he genuinely cared for his partner and fell deeply in love with.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Eris is 5′8″ and... I’m not sure how tall Teague is... I’ll say 5′11″, so there’s not much of a height difference there. I wanna say Teague’s in his late 30s - early 40s... Eris is 27 or 28 when dh happens so.... go grandpa ig........

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

They never met each other’s families, except for Teague meeting Clara, but they both like each other.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Teague.......... Eris loses her temper very quickly and she’s not very social. Teague’s the charmer who gets everyone’s attention if he wants it.

Who gets jealous easier?

TEAGUE HJFKLGHJGKLG he tries not to be, but he’ll see someone flirting with Eris or he’ll hear her laugh and he’ll be like >:( HMPH and be passive aggressive towards her when they’re together.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Eris... she did write it in a letter to him, but when he came to get her, she asked him if he read her letter. He told her no, so she got mad and then just told him right there.

What are their primary love languages?

Just knowing each other’s routines, what ticks the other off, remembering what the other likes.. for example Eris will make him food and be like “I remembered you mentioning you liking this before, so I made it for you.”

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

In the beginning, they wouldn’t be affectionate in public, but once they’re living in Karnaca they’re almost always holding hands or he’ll kiss her at random times when they’re out for their walks around the docks.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Cooking, slow dancing, Teague reading while Eris plays the piano.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Teague. When she’s upset, he’ll let her vent about her problems, listen to her, sometimes offer advice. Rarer times when she cries, he’ll stay at her side and not leave.

Who’s more protective?

Teague. When he becomes high overseer, he sends a few guards to keep an eye on her and report to him if anyone tries anything on her.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical.... Eris is a hoe for it.. literally eheheuheuehueheuhe but yeah, she likes to kiss or be kissed, to be held, holding hands, all that stuff. After meeting Eris, Teague’s become a fan of physical affection, the man cannot get enough of it.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

cinnamon girl by ldr, always forever by the cults, cocoa hooves by glass animals

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Eris likes to call Teague “darling” and Teague calls her “my love” every so often 🤮

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

Teague proposes. He says it when he comes back for her after the lighthouse event. He rushes in to the cat to see her and he’s like “come with me, let’s get out of dunwall, we’ll get married, have children, grow old and forget about this place” and Eris is like “You wanna marry me? :’)” idiot!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

It’s a private wedding tbh. Clara and Mateo are there though.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

They do have two kids, but one is from a previous relationship, so technically they’ve got one together. Funny enough Mateo acts more like Teague. Mateo and Callum are four years apart but they’re really close and are always found together. Mateo uses his charm to get out of trouble, while Callum is a little more chaotic, but at the end of the day he’s a mama’s boy :^)

Do they have any pets?

No.. but Mateo and Callum find a hound  who they name “Lux” and sneak out to feed him late at night. Teague knows about it, but he doesn’t tell Eris.

Who’s the stricter parent?

Eris, but she’s not that strict. Teague’s just a little more lax when it comes to either of the boys misbehaving unlike Eris, but she hates getting after them. Callum fortunately listens to her and doesn’t like to upset her. Though he and Mateo know to go to Teague when they want to get away with something.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Teague, but if he’s not around, she’ll do it. Sometimes she’ll get Callum to do it for her.

How do they celebrate holidays?

Eris likes to go big, she’ll decorate their house very extravagantly. does that universe have holidays? maybe... idr i know there’s the fugue feast but you know.................. yeah. w/e they celebrate whatever holidays there are.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Eris. Teague is always up earlier than she is, but she’ll reach around to find him in bed and when she doesn’t she’ll get up to look for him and be like “come back to bed :(” and 9 times out of 10, he will.

Who’s the better cook?

Eris, but she doesn’t like to cook unless he or the boys help her out.

#roberthouses #asks #WHEW.... #this took a while but i will never tire of talking about my original clowns! #thank you naomi!!

[bobbyischill]

My Relationship With Andi Mack

Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, my GSA advisor was telling me and a friend about a Disney Channel show. She hadn’t watched it yet, but apparently one of the main characters had just come out as gay! I was really happy for Disney and glad that queer kids all over the world had someone like them to look up to. However, I, a 15 year old, a mature teenager, wouldn’t really enjoy a kids show, right? So I went about the rest of my day without giving it a second thought....

Until I went home and opened up Tumblr. One of the first posts I saw was someone giving props to Disney for making such a diverse, inclusive show that was actually GOOD. They said it reminded them of Girl Meets World, except it was a million times better and diverse. Okay fine, I thought. I guess I’ll check out Andi Mack. (BOOYY I HAD A BIG STORM COMING)

I opened up my iPad around 10:30pm and decided to watch an episode or two, depending on how tired I was. After the very first episode, I recognized that this show was special. Like, REALLY special. The characters were fleshed out and unique. There was the “twist” about Bex being Andi’s mom. The friendships and relationships felt real. I knew I was going to binge the whole show that night.

That night, as I continued on with the show, I fell in love with each one of them. They all had their own quirks, they were all nuanced. I fell in love with how competitive, protective to a fault, and caring Buffy was. I fell in love with how awkward and goofy and relatable Cyrus was. I fell in love with how kind and oblivious Jonah was. I fell in love with how hard-working and funny Andi was, and how much she cared about certain things and the people around her. I fell in love with the dynamics between certain characters and how they were always changing. I loved how it tackled racism in school (Buffy had to change her hair or be sent home), how unfair dress codes are to students (especially girls), how you need to take a stand for what you believe in (the prison uniforms), and how stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, even if you get hurt (Andi watching a horror movie and being terrified, but not regretting it). This was all in the first season.

This show already meant so much to me. And then Cyrus looked back at Jonah. In the words of Jonah Beck, “I cried”. Just that hint of representation was more than I had ever scene on Disney or any other show marketed to kids.

And then Cyrus came out to Buffy. I, a pansexual who was out to my friends but not any of my family and who still struggled with intense internalized homophobia, burst into tears. I related to how ashamed and afraid Cyrus looked. I needed to hear Buffy’s heartfelt response. “You may be weird, but you’re no different.” That phrase was constantly bouncing through my head for at least the next few days (and if I’m being honest, it still is). I wrote it all over my notes and assignments because it was literally all I could think about for such a long time. I saw the sign on the wall that said “G: for General Audiences.” That showed me that Disney (or at least Terri Minsky, my queen) truly felt that I wasn’t a freak. I didn’t need to hide my identity from anyone if I didn’t want to. My identity wasn’t a mature subject; it was for general audiences. (Also, I just want to add that Sofia and Josh’s acting in this scene was absolutely fantastic. It was so raw and emotional, and it still makes me cry every time I see it.)

And then in that same episode Cyrus and Buffy talked about his crush on Jonah. They did it so casually, and my mind was blown. At this point, I had honestly never seen so much gay representation in a show as this.

That night, I stayed up until 5am. I was rewatched Cyrus’s coming out scene about 10 times. I fangirled about it on Tumblr. I added “Tomorrow Starts Today” to my Spotify playlist. I even wrote a diary entry about it. (I only write in my diary when I’m feeling very intense emotions that I need to write down in order to figure out.)

The next day at school, I told all my Gay Friends about Andi Mack and how amazing it was. A few of them got into it, and it was fun talking to them about it, but after a while I was pretty heavily hyperfixated on it and I needed more. And I felt like I was bothering my followers with constant posts about how much I loved Andi Mack. So I made this blog. @cyrus-made-tshirts. I haven’t changed the name since. That’s how I became an official part of the friendom.

I love this fandom. I don’t even know many people personally or have made many friends through it, but this fandom was everything to me. I loved the posts, the crackhead theories, josh’s account. I loved the crackships, the real ships, the overanalyzing of every line, of every movement, of every promo. I loved watching the reactions on YouTube. I loved making posts about the show and having hundreds of people relate to it or find it funny, especially the gay ones. My very first post to get more than 50 notes was one about how Miranda and Bex would make a cute couple (this was before Miranda was revealed to be a snake.)

For the past year and a half, Andi Mack has been my life. I have survived the many ship wars. I have survived the months-long hiatuses. I have survived the ominous tweets and posts Josh has made and the frenzy of panicking everywhere that followed it. And I have loved every minute of it.

I’ve seen these characters I love grow up before my eyes. They’ve all changed and evolved and matured so much. There’s so much more representation since I started watching the show. There’s a character with a learning disability, characters with anxiety, a homeless character, a deaf character. There’s been multiple episodes celebrating Jewish and Chinese culture. I’ve seen Cyrus go from nervously nodding in agreement that he liked a boy to unprovokingly telling his friend he liked that boy to flat-out telling his ex-crush he is gay to holding hands with his crush in public. I’ve seen all of Cyrus’s friends support him unconditionally. I’ve seen him find his happily ever after (for middle school, at least).

And then the last episode aired. I knew I was never going to be prepared for it, but HOLY SHIT, it’s over. And the finale was like a fanfiction it was so good. I watched it live on Thursday night at midnight. I freaked out about it online for three hours, then watched it on Disney Now. I pulled an all-nighter because I just kept rewatching it online until Friday night, when I watched it air on Disney. The way Cyrus and TJ sang Born This Way with the rest of the characters cured my depression, cleared my skin, and watered my crops. The bench scene was so fucking beautiful and romantic it caused me to hyperventilate. The acting from both Luke and Josh was incredible. Honestly, Luke crushed it the entire time as TJ and the bench scene was the icing on top. This scene meant more to met than some people could ever know.

A couple months ago, I was in a pretty shit place emotionally and mentally. Literally the only thing stopping me from killing myself was the guilt of leaving my friends and family behind. I needed another reason to stay, something to keep me grounded. And that reason became Andi Mack. I promised myself I would live to see the day Tyrus became canon. And I did it. I’m in a much better place now, and I’m not going to do anything stupid now that Tyrus has become canon (TYRUS HAS BECOME CANON!!! AAKDBEISSHSB I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED THAT YET!!!!). But at the time, I really needed Andi Mack to help me keep fighting. And it was there for me. And I will always be indebted to it for my life.

This show has helped me in so many other ways. It’s helped me drastically reduce my internalized homophobia. It’s given me a community of people that understand me. It’s created so many characters that I love. So thank you to Terri Minsky for creating this show and amazing characters that I will love forever. Thank you to Disney for funding it and not completely censoring it. Thank you to the crew for working tirelessly to make this happen. Thank you to Peyton, Emily, Asher, Josh, Luke, Lilan, Trent, Garren, Sofia, and every other actor for pouring their heart into this show. A special thank you to Josh and Luke for making me feel safe and loved and for caring so much about their story arcs. (And their political activism is pretty awesome, too.)

I’m really going to miss screaming about this show with you guys. I really hope that some people keep creating fanart and fanfics and keep making memes and crackships. I hope the friendom never dies. Because every one of you is so special and fun to hang out with online. And I’m really gonna miss it. And now I’m crying, and this is getting WAYYY too long, so I’m gonna stop talking now lmao. But I want to say this show has changed me in so many ways and I’m grateful to every single person involved, including the amazing friendom. I’ll love you all forever. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#andi mack #thank you #thank you so much andi mack #my relationship with andi mack #personal

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Lola Thomas

Will she friend us on Facebook yet? Lola has been accepted! Send in your blog and faceclaim!

out of character info

Name/Alias: lexi (yeah im gonna try this again because looks like the negativity is GONE. BLESS.)

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 18

Join Our Discord: Yeaaaah

Timezone: central

Activity: 7 ( i do work so activity will prolly bump before 2pm and after 8pm lmao )

Triggers: nada

Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass ;))

Character that you’re applying for: Lola Thomas

Favourite ships for your character: going in this with a clean slate so try and give me a favorite ship? ’,:)

in character info

Full name: Lola Diane Thomas

Birthday: May 20th.

Sexuality, gender, pronouns: pansexual, female, she/her

Age and grade: 16 (almost 17) && senior.

Faceclaim: Taylor Hill

Appearance:

Head: Lola is what you call a tall glass of water. She’s refreshingly attractive. Her eyes are neither blue or green but a weird combination of the two colors, making them pop against her naturally darkened complexion. Her hair is soft and wavy and like to tangle near the ends by the time Lola is out of school and on the way to work. It’s color likes to change with the rare sunlight, meaning if she is outside in the sun all day every day natural highlights will appear in her honey chestnut tresses. Her nose is like a little button that deserves to be booped constantly. Her lips are full and plump- to that she owes genetics. Lola believes it is her only good trait.

Body: A natural looker. She stands at about 5'8, so be prepared if you’re tiny. She will tower you with her legs for DAYS.  She doesn’t have particularly large assets but they are there. And it’s a nice handful on either side of the equator. You just gotta look for them behind her non-stop barrage of sweaters. She likes to say she has a white girl booty- its cute && snooty. Her shoulders and cheeks are very, very, lightly dusted in freckles you can only see in the winter. Despiter her tall figure, Lola is NOT a bean pole, she’s slim thicccc weighing about 145 pounds and it’s not in her face.

Style: Lola dresses like she lives in Goodwill, trendy and thrifty. She would kill for knee socks and button up blouses. She aims to look like ‘The classic look of a teenager in the 90’s’. Her shoes will never don a heel for she believes she is 'too tall’ for them. She likes to keep a mellow color scheme for all her clothing items. Tan, green, white. Sometimes she looks like the first instagram post you see tagged * v i n t a g e. *

Personality: 

First off let’s get this straight, with Lola it’s not a personality but more of how she adopts a personality to fit each social clique she is suckered into that day. If you dig deeep deeeeeep down pass the meme references and pop culture shout outs- she’s awfully shy and hates making the first move in ANY kind of situation. She is sympathetic to most of the problems she hears- other than relationship ones. What’s a feeling for someone else other than your cat? She doesn’t get it. Skittish doesn’t even cover how much of a fraidy cat she is.. One little boo when she’s not expecting it is enough to get Lola to shriek and jump three feet into the air. She does have a nuturing instinct, finding it rather difficult to see anyone lonely or upset.

Once you get to know Lola, she is a sweetheart with a soul of gold. She would freeze in the frigid temperatures to keep her friend warm. She’s the girl who will sneak you into her house so you dont have to go home if you’re scared too or can’t. She is quite snarky however- as if a dam broke and every witty thought ever spun in her head rushes out. Once you get her talking about something she is personally interested in, good luck shutting her up. Lola is also a very superstitious person. Never one too step on a crack or split a pole. Her biggest quirk would have to be her need for reassurance that her jokes are funny. She thinks of herself as a comedian but is already sure everyone thinks she is trying too hard. She is a rather dull girl on the outside, moody and solemn. But if you can crack into her cold shell there’s an ooey gooey sweetness inside. Lola is often easily upset- movies to road kill make her tear up. Anytime she even gets mad the salry reminders if her lameness well up in her eyes. And that only pisses her off more.

Despite having a cool exterior she can and will snap- just push the right buttons. 

History:

Lola wouldnt deem herself an outcast yet she would always feel that way. Whether she was cheering with the girls or writing lists with Jenny, her feelings were uncontrollable. Her anxiety makes it impossible to determine if someone is being nice to her or if they have a plot to harm her. In middle school, Lola secretly dreamt of becoming a goth kid- going as far as painting her nails black for two years. But her fears never made her set out to do it. Plus everyone was a little then so isn’t that technically confirming? Her school work was the only thing Lola was ever certain in. Work was easy, you couldn’t fuck it up by being a complete oddball. It was practically memorization. After starting high school, Lola was practically a wallflower. Hell she was the wall and the flower all wrapped in one. She dropped every friendship and dedicated herself to her studies and her pets. After she got a job she was allowed to have them finally and her fur babies were the only things she cared about truly and deeply. For they could never hate their mother.

Things were always tough for Lola, socially or economically, but that didn’t mean her childhood sucked. It just meant instead of a Barbie dreamhouse for Christmas she got the summer edition Barbie. Not a house. Just the doll. Jealousy is an emotion often clouding her anxieties and judgement on people. It caused her to lose her best friend since.. Well, as long as she could remember. Lola grew jealous and almost possessive over Jenny. She probably didn’t mean too but when she saw Jenny getting along with people when she couldnt caused a burning rage to settle in her chest. It got so bad Lola didnt even speak to anyone for a week before blowing up and ruining her only real friendship.

Just because she looks innocent doesn’t mean the brunette is. There are probably a few flat tires and keyed cars residing in South Park that are Lola’s own doing. Not to mention she is a total bystander. You wanna skip school? Cool, yeah I’ll watch for a teacher. You wanna smoke pot in the bathroom? It’s all good as long as she gets a hit. These are all childish 'bad behaviors’ but as Lola sees it, there’s no point in trying that hard to be bad. After all the one time she tried it, the poor thing almost died from hypothermia after blindly listening to a slumber party dare.

You aren’t supposed to sneak out in slumber parties. Or streak in Wal-Mart. Or jump of a bridge into negative temp waters. But these are all things Lola did too prove she was cool. And it ended up with her grounded, being hospitalised for pneumonia, and gaining a large fear of heights. And a hatred for party games.

Sample paragraph:

Of course, it was another cold blustery day. Chestnut tresses fluttered in front of her sight along the whole way home, it didn’t matter how many times she forcefully blew the bangs out of her face- they always flopped back down. Numbing fingers clutched tighter to the soft cloth lining of her jacket pockets. The index fingers and thumbs of both hands pinching at the materiel. Gosh- why is it always freezing? Dull orbs flittered around the blank scenery of the all too familiar path from her house to the school. The only sounds Lola could hear were the crunching of her flats against the snow and the wind whipping furiously around her. Boring. It was all white and boring. Lola was tired of being bored. She imagined that would be the only feeling she could muster for the rest of her life and it made the corners of her glossed lips tug down.

She shook her head as if to clear the thoughts instantly, humming a tune to distract herself as she continued on her trek.

One step, two step, three step…

…Sixteenth step-

Lola really needed a friend. A small sigh lifted her chest and as it billowed past her mouth she noticed movement in her peripherals. Was she really looking down this whole time like an idiot? How embarrassing! She clenched her hands into fists, further rumpling the jacket from its own pockets. Avoiding any kind of eye contact she swayed over to the side near the street and hurried her steps along. Too fast to count now. She passed the figure and her hands slowly unfurled. The blood rushing to her digits made them quite warm and her face flushed as well. God she was awkard.

Just as she thought she was in the clear, Lola felt a tap on her shoulder and her heart stuttered in its cavity as she stumbled to a stop. Fuck.

Headcanons:

🌟 owns a bike but rarely rides it.

🌟 has one cat- a black kitten named sparrow.

🌟 also two rats- yin and yang which are little chocolate colored sisters.

��� 3.8 GPA

🌟 wants to learn french

🌟 owns a polaroid camera kinda girl

🌟 gardens in her free time

Anything else:

Im really insecure so if it takes me time to reply its cuz im demeaning myself and my baby and my words. 

#accepted #submission

[boethiah]

okay i’m going to post my idea for my ridiculous over-indulgent potential new eso char 

his name is HJALAND THE RAVENOUS, he was a Tongue around the same time as the nordic demons/during the succession war. the nords were getting a bit desperate around then and hjaland was one of those who got “creative” with their thu’um. hjaland was pals with hoag, who was at the front of the thu’um creativity movement, what with his necromancy and all. inspired by hoag’s tales of morrowind, hjaland decided to meddle with daedric forces.

a lot of contact with dremora and interesting new torture of the earthbones later, hjaland had tentatively developed a shout that would allow him to blast things right out of reality. forceful eviction from mundus: the thu’um. or so his servants of clavicus vile pals told him. nords being nords, he didnt question this.

long story short, when he tried the shout, hjaland blasted himself out of the mundus and ended up in The Gorge, the boundary between clavicus vile’s realm and boethiah’s. naturally he was immediately killed and ended up as a vestige. in the gorge. which wasn’t ideal. but he also had a ridiculously high willpower and, with some quick spur-of-the-moment creative use of the thu’um and some very loud shouting, he anchored himself to The Gorge. thanks to his ridiculously high willpower and his thu’um, he anchored himself so thoroughly to The Gorge that a part of it sheared off and became, essentially, a very small pocket realm, with a disembodied first era nord tongue at the helm. 

side note: a headcanon about The Gorge i have is that, “it continuously gnaws on the skin of the mundus” is kind of literal. yes, its the manifestation of the intersection between need and hunger, but it can move and squirm and basically writhes around chewing on mundus like a leech trying to break skin. the part of it that was broken off by hjaland shared this property, but, being no longer confined to the boethiah/vile intersection, was able to take off and start skittering about oblivion trying to sate its all-consuming hunger. and hjaland, having anchored himself to it, now shared this all-consuming hunger-need

so hjaland, being a nord, did the reasonable thing, by converting his new little realm into a voidship called the ravenous, recruited some dremora, and became an oblivion pirate. 

anyway that’s this guy. an undead nord tongue consumed by greed and hunger who spends his days skittering around the void in a demented boethiah-spawned leechmobile looking for pocket realms to suck the mana and/or loot from. he’s not actually in control of it, just along for the ride, but he and his crew are always gung-ho about invading whatever it decides to latch onto. along the way he’s met fa-nuit-hen, velekh sain, and even boethiah herself, whose response was a casual “i find this whole situation really, really funny so i’m not going to do anything to stop it”. he’s had the ravenous try to latch onto the clockwork city and was promptly evicted. he probably ended up in coldharbour because his stupid little ship accidentally gnawed its way into mannimarco’s palace. he can fit a whole ham in his mouth. 

i just needed to get this out lmao. im not gonna do anything with this guy but its fun to think of his potential adventures when im jogging yknow 

#hjaland the ravenous