#and once again ve just. has no way to cope or handle this!!!!

[fanartfic]

Holding Tight and Letting Go

Tav and Halsin finally act upon the bond growing between them.

TW: None, this is all shameless fluff.

CW: Mild act 3 romance spoilers.

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Tavya strode through the market on a mission. It had been a ten-day since they had defeated Orin, and she felt a little bit more comfortable making her way around the city alone, despite the Iron Watch clunking their way here and there. Halsin had finally agreed to move the camp back outside of the city to help him cope with the urban surroundings. He was why she was now in the market, hoping to find something to cheer him up a little.

In the talks they had had since coming back to Rivington, he had said he liked whittling, but she had never seen him do anything while at camp. Perhaps he was missing his tools? Tavya made her way to where she knew a Wood Wright's shop was and walked in to find the carpenter hard at work on a bookshelf.

“Good afternoon! I'm in the market for some tools.” Tavya said as she approached the counter that separated her from the rest of the shop.

“Ah, I have those in plenty. What do you need?”

“Small tools for whittling.” Tavya replied. “Tho the person using them has big hands.”

The carpenter thought for a moment then knelt down behind the counter. He rummaged about for a bit before bringing out a rolled up leather case.

“Old commission that never got picked up. The handles are a bit larger than usual.” He explained. “10 gold and it's yours.”

“Done.” Tavya dug into her purse and handed over the appropriate coin. “Thank you.”

“Nice doing business, please come again!”

Tavya wandered the market a little bit more. Stopping every once in a while to steady herself as a brainquake shook the city. She knew that they were on a time schedule for finding and defeating the elder brain, but after a long and hard fight with Orin, the group had decided to take a break.

Tav was coming into a more familiar part of the market, where she and her family sold the wares from her farm. She looped Terryns scarf, which she had started wearing again, over her head, hoping to not be recognized. She felt a pang in her chest when she saw her old cart, still sitting in its place along the wall.

How long had it been there? It had been so many ten-days since she had been here. Tav was honestly surprised that it was still there. As she looked over the cart, another vendor nearby caught a glimpse of her and eyed her suspiciously.

“Oi! That ain't yours!” She barked. Stalking over to her. “You don't touch Ms Tav’s cart ya hear me?”

Tav turned towards the vendor. She knew this woman. A soaper who would buy honey and animal fat off of her. Tav flipped back her scarf.

“It's me, Vez.”

“Tavya?”

Ves looked at her in complete shock before tears brimmed her eyes.

“You're alive! Oh thank the gods!”

Vez grabbed Tav up into a fierce hug as she cried into her shoulder.

“Yes, I'm alive. You can let me go now.” Tav patted Vez in the back.

“H-how tho? Last I saw you a tentacle came down from the sky and turned you into dust!”

“Well, I wasn't dusted, I was transported to an Illithid ship. But I'm alright now.” Tav looked at her cart again. “Have you been keeping this safe for me?”

Vez nodded. “Oh yes. I knew you'd be back for it, so I made sure the city guard and their oversized clankers didn't touch it.” she waved her hand towards the stable. “Your mule is in there, boarded and well fed.”

“Gods bless you, Vez.’ Tav smiled. Hugging Vez this time. “I'll be sure to pay you back.”

“You'll be taking them then?”

“Yes. It's time to take them home.”

Tav looked in the cart and noted that she still had a crate of honey in there, well sealed, and hidden from the sunlight. She hauled it out, then emptied half of it into another crate.

“Here, for your trouble,” Tav handed one of the crates to Vez. “I'll bring you more payment later, but for now I need to get going.”

“Oh, you don't need to do that,”

“Just take the crate, Vez.”

Vez begrudgingly took the crate. “Alright… but take care of yourself, ya hear?

“I'm doing just that, don't worry.” Tav nodded.

After collecting her mule and hitching up the wagon, Tavya made her way back to their camp. It was quieter out in Rivington, and everyone seemed more comfortable. As she drove the cart into the nearby ruined barn, Halsin approached her, a confused look on his face.

“Where did you get the cart and mule?” He asked.

“Actually, I reclaimed what was already mine,” Tav explained. “A friend of mine took it upon herself to look after Chauncey here for me after I was taken.” She patted the mule’s neck and the beast turned to nuzzle her. Tav let out a chuckle and kissed the beast between the eyes. “Later friend. Once I get some.” She turned eyes glittering with laughter to Halsin. “Chauncey here has a sweet tooth.”

Halsin let out a deep chuckle and came up to the mule. “He loves you very much. The sign of a good master.” He said, stroking Chauncey’s neck.

Tav watched Halsin for a moment before shaking herself out of her thought. “Oh, I almost forgot!” She climbed back into the cart and retrieved a bundle from under the seat. She jumped back down and handed it to Halsin. “This is for you.”

Halsin slowly took the rolled leather package. “What is this for?” He asked, a smile spreading across his lips.

“Well, you said you liked to whittle, but I’ve never seen you doing it around camp, so I found you some tools.” Tavya loosed the leather thong that bound the bundle together and unrolled it in Halsin’s hands, revealing an excellent set of carving tools. “I thought it would cheer you up, since the city isn’t exactly your cup of tea.”

Halsin stared at the tools in his hand, running one of his calloused fingers over the finely carved handles. “Tav, I-I cannot believe you remembered.” He looked up from the tools and onto Tav’s eyes. He swore they were sparkling in the sunlight that filtered through the broken roof.

“I'm glad you like them.” Tav said as she went to the back of the cart. She flipped back the canvas and grabbed a crate. “Now I got to get this to Gale. He’ll have a use for it, I'm sure.”

Halsin caught the golden glow of honey as she walked by. “Is that?-”

Tav stopped next to him, the crate on her hip

“Oh yes, can't forget about your sweet tooth either, eh?” She said, a sly smile spreading across her face as she reached in and pulled out a glass jar full of honey, with a piece of honeycomb nestled in the bottom. “It's from my bees on my farm. Enjoy.” She said, as she placed the jar in Halsin’s empty hand.

Halsin gave Tav the biggest smile she had ever seen from him. “Oh, I'm sure I will,”

Tav chuckled and turned to go.

Halsin looked down at the jar and tools in his hands. His mind flashing to her arms around him, her tears wetting his cheek, a kiss on his forehead that had brought him back from fearful darkness, and the other that had given him hope again, although he knew Tav hadn't meant for him to feel it.

Then later that night, when the terrors he had faced were haunting him, she had come to his rescue yet again, comforting him through his troubles, and assuring him that his long time of being alone was over.

He shook himself out of his thought just as Tav was leaving the barn.

“Tav?”

“Yes?”

“Would. . . Can we speak later, more privately?” Halsin asked, almost nervously. Tav didn't seem to notice. She was more concerned in that moment with how her own stomach was fluttering. “Sure. After dinner?”

“After dinner. Meet me down by the river.”

Tav nodded and turned to go. The crate on her hip, and her free hand brushing a wisp of hair back behind her ear as she passed him.

Halsin watched her go about her business around camp. Even now, she made it a point to speak with every member of their group, making sure they were supplied and doing well. She disappeared into the barn where she had set up her bedroll.

Halsin let out a sigh and shook his head.

“Oak Father preserve me. . . I'm behaving like a young cub,” he muttered as he headed back to his tent. The little plants he had been keeping needed tending, and Yenna, their newest young charge, had requested some herbs for a soup she was planning to make.

After a delicious dinner made by Gale and Yenna, Tav made her way back to where she had set up her bedroll on a stack of hay bales in the abandoned barn. As she stripped off her armor for the day, she heard Halsin talking to Astarion in the distance, saying he was going for a walk.

Tav glanced over her shoulder as Halsin wild shaped and lumbered off in bear form. Her heart fluttered, as she knew he was heading for the riverbank.

Tav took stock of the clothes in front of her. They had been stashed in her cart, safely hidden away. As she changed into the laced cotton shirt and long green skirt, she couldn't help but let out a sigh.

This was how her life should have been, she thought, as she undid her long braid and pulled the top half of hair away from her face. Her bangs she swept to the side. They had been getting long as of late and needed a trim. She reached for the laces at the collar, but then shrugged. It had been a while since she had shown much of herself. She rolled the sleeves up to her elbow to be more comfortable. The last thing she did was put on a wide belt, and tuck her dagger into its band just below her bust.

This was how she once was. A wife, mother, and farmer.

As she turned to go, she hesitated..she picked up the locket from her chest in her hand and sighed.

“Time to move on,” she said quietly.

She slipped her wedding band off her finger and placed it on the silver chain. Then she stashed it with her belongings.

Her departed husband didn't need to be with her this night.

She kicked off her boots, electing to go barefoot as she made her way down the path to the river. The compacted dirt felt cool on the soles of her feet. The peepers and crickets were beginning their nightly songs, and the fireflies were beginning to blink in the growing dark. It was pleasantly warm, but not too warm. Tav caught gusts of a faint cool breeze wafting through the trees.

She reached the bottom of the earthen bank and walked out into the floodplain of the river. The sound of flowing water reached her ears as she headed towards the shore. The moon had risen early that night, scattering it's light across the rippling water.

She paused at the edge of a clearing when she spotted Halsin. He was standing next to a large tree by the riverbank, his hand on its smooth bark. His eyes were closed as he appeared to be listening to it. As Tav stepped into view, he opened his eyes, turning to face her.

“You came. . . I wasn't sure that you would.” he said, smiling with relief.

Tav shrugged. “Well, when a big handsome elf asks you for a moonlit stroll, it's hard to say no,” she smiled in reply, walking up to him.

Tav swore she saw Halsin blush as he held his arm out to her. “Shall we?”

Tav looped her hand through his elbow and they began walking down the riverbank, stopping every now and again to admire a flower, or watch a herd of deer as they grazed nearby. Tavya let go of Halsin’s arm to approach the deer, her hand held out for the buck to smell. He sniffed nervously, then came closer, enjoying the scratches behind his ear as Tavya spoke soothing words to him. He twitched as Halsin approached, but sensed his druidic nature and let him stroke his sleek pelt a few times before wandering off with the rest of his herd.

“Beautiful animal,” Tav marveled, looking on as the deer disappeared into the woods.

Halsin looked down at Tav.

“Hmm. . . Beautiful indeed,” he said, paying no mind to the creature.

Tavya turned to look up at him. Halsin met her gaze, gently brushing her hair behind her ear.

“The Oak Father has blessed you with a connection with nature that is unique. You understand both worlds well enough to know and respect them. As you have known and understood me far more than any have taken the time to in the past.”

Tav looked up at Halsin skeptically. “I can't be the only one.”

“Within recent memory, at least.”

“Come now, that isn’t true.” Tavya nudged his arm.

“It is true. I have never been blessed with a long-term partner, or a family of my own.” Halsin said, a hint of regret in his voice. “You have had that deeper connection to someone though. You truly became one with them, shared yourself with them. . .had a child with them. I can claim no such thing.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Tav raised an eyebrow. “Over your long life, not one of your relationships resulted in a family?”

Halsin shook his head. “No. . .never have I had such happiness. Such opportunities passed me by, unfortunately. Swallowed up by the burden and responsibilities of an Archdruid.”

Tav stared at the leaves that littered the path in front of her. “From experience,” she began. “The day that Japheth was born was the happiest of my life.” She said, hugging her free arm close to her chest. “Which makes the day I lost her all the more painful.”

She kicked a loose stone and watched it scuttle down the path. “So painful that I fear reliving it.”

She felt Halsin reach an arm across her shoulders, his large hand cupping her shoulder. “Forgive me. I did not wish to make you relive your pain.”

Tav shook her head. “You didn't. We’re just talking.” She said. “And I haven't been able to talk about this with anyone. . . Save you.”

They continued on in silence, enjoying the fresh breeze and the songs of the birds above them. At length, Halsin spoke.

“Tavya. . . I. . .” He paused, unsure of how to continue. “I have lived a long time. Over 350 years, I have taken many lovers.”

Tav raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was getting at. “So you have said,”

“But my heart does not stir lightly.” Halsin stopped her on the trail and gently touched her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Not like it does now.”

“I think your heart might stir more easily than you think,” said Tav.

“Then tell me I’m wrong, and I'll leave the matter to rest. I do not wish to sour our friendship, but I have to know if I can be something more. Especially after. . . After everything. The goblin camp, Shadow Curse. . . Bhaal’s temple. Every time, you have been at my side aiding me. Your face was the first I saw in the darkness every time.”

Tav stared up into Halsin’s hazel eyes. They stared back at her in nervous anticipation.

“I’d be lying if I said you were wrong.” She answered, taking the hand that touched her cheek and kissing the calloused knuckles. “I just. . . don't know how to say you are right.”

Halsin let out a shaky sigh of relief as he pulled Tavya into his chest, holding her tightly. He buried his nose into her hair and breathed in deep, enjoying the scent of citrus and clove that he had smelled the night after coming back from Bhaal’s temple, when she had embraced him while soothing him from a nightmare. She had revealed more of her care for him then, while he wondered how she kept going the way she did, still helping everyone else around her before herself in spite of everything.

It’s time to change that. He thought, as he felt Tavya’s arms wrap around his thick waist. It was time someone did for her, what she did for everyone else.

“Thank the gods. . . I feared I was merely behaving like a lovesick 90yr old again,”

Tavya laughed as she hugged him tighter.

“Gods, you couldn't have said it any better!”

Halsin pulled away a little so he could see her face. Her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and the shoulder of her tunic had slid off of one shoulder, revealing the scar on her collarbone from Myrkul. His hands slid down her back to her hips as he leaned over to kiss it.

Tav gasped quietly at the gentle touch of his lips on her skin, her hands gripping his arms. Halsin moved up the side of her neck, gently kissing along the way until he paused in front of her mouth.

“Is this alright?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “Is this what you want?”

Tav sighed shakily as emotions and sensations she hadn’t felt in a long time welled up in her. Her heart raced as she looked up, catching his gaze. The tip of her nose brushed against his as her eyes shifted to his mouth, the apples of her cheeks beginning to blush.

”All I want is you, Halsin Silverbough.” She replied, as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Halsin captured Tavya’s lips with a moan, finally being able to show her how much she meant to him. She relished every sensation: The feel of his large hands as they moved to her thighs, picking her up like she was as light as a feather: The faint taste of the honey he had with his bread after dinner on his lips: The smell of herbs and leather that clung to his clothes and hair.

She wanted all of him.

Suddenly, Tav was dropped back to her feet as Halsin stumbled back. He groaned as he seemed to struggle with himself as he fell to all fours.

“Halsin?” Tavya reached out to him.

“No!” He growled as looked up at her one more time, his eyes aglow with golden light as fur sprouted from his body. In a flash he wild-shaped, startling Tav, and sending her backwards to the forest floor.

Tav pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked on in shock as the cave bear regarded her. In a moment there was another flash, and Halsin slowly got to his feet, stumbling backward.

”Forgive me, I lost the run of myself. Sometimes, when the blood runs hot, it’s difficult to tame the beast.” He looked away, unable to bring himself to make eye contact with her. Tavya got to her feet and approached him.

He looked so ashamed and disappointed in himself for losing control of his bear form, but as she drew nearer, Halsin finally looked at her with a tinge of fear in his eyes. Fear that she would leave after such a display.

“It’s alright. . .I actually might like it.”

Halsin looked up in surprise. “You. . .like it?”

Tavya sidled up to him and took his hands in hers, guiding them back to her hips.

“Yes, I’m glad to know I have that effect on you,” she said, once again wrapping her arms around his neck. “Let’s save it for another time, shall we?”

Halsin smiled in relief.

“Come here to me,”

#fanfic #baldurs gate tav #my tav #baldur’s gate fanfiction #bg3 halsin #halsin x tav #i might be obsessed #illustration #sorry guys this is the most scandalous i get #digital art #digital drawing #fan art #bg3 fanart

[oathofthebedtime]

gonna be thinking about this scene for a while.

#its just. auberon is So mad right now #so unbelievably angry and upset #i doubt auberon walked out of the room being able to see straight #and once again ve just. has no way to cope or handle this!!!! #it's. family drama so ve has no desire to draw anyone else into it. #even if ve did ve literally Just Met Kobus #camille is weird to talk to about. parent complaints as she doesnt have any #and cerise is preoccupied right now #fasach is well.... auberon really just doesnt trust Anybody or is close enough to Anybody to go to about this #ve would leave the city and just go #be Out Of Things for a while which is what ve would've done back at home #but its still not the same because Parent's not there !!! #and thats who ve would talk to!!!! #or at least thats who ve could be around long enough to calm down #but theyre so far gone at this point! #and ve can't even leave the city because the sorcerers are leaving in half an hour #and also that would be bad for appearances #so ve's just stuck!!!!! in a room!!! #just stuck in this absolutely awful loop !!! #crop #update im adding more onto this #i just remembered ve. lost a fucking finger yesterday and also all the giants dying #and also walking into church #maybe kyoto phoebe bridgers will become an auberon song... #dnd is a GAME crop is a GAME im having the time of my LIFE

[chanceorchesspod]

Hello! Playing devil's advocate here, but surely we'd at least have had an announcement for s5 by now if tjlc was real and s5 was really coming? Doesn't it maybe seem more likely that the signs pointing to s5 and tjlc were a combination of being led on ("fans will be desperate for s5"), queerbaiting (some of the more obvious (which, tbh, most were) indicators of johnlock), reading too much into things (some of the less obvious indicators) and coincidence (the whole fourth pip thing)? Again, devil's advocate - I personally do think there are a couple too many loose threads for no s5 - but I'd be interested in your answer

Hi there. We’re not sure what kind of answer you’re really looking for and what your knowledge base/experience is with tjlc, so we’ll try to answer in the simplest way possible while covering our bases.

First, if any part of you is asking these questions because it’s coming from a place of insecurity and needing confirmation before allowing yourself to “hope,” then we’re not the people to ask. That is not a healthy way to engage with a TV show theory, nor is it an objective way to engage with it. It’s important to not doubt your ability to cope with being “wrong.” As my therapist once put it, “confident” people don’t have confidence that they will never make a mistake, rather they know they can handle their reaction to mistakes. Mistakes will not shatter their happiness or make them a total failure. It is the fear of doubt and being wrong which will hold you back more than healthy skepticism ever will (This advice may not apply to you, but it does apply to a fair number of people past and present).

That being said…there isn’t one single piece of evidence (or even two or three) I could offer that would sell a potential series 5 without the added context of everything tjlc related. If you’re waiting for S5 to be announced before you fully engage with tjlc on an intellectual level, then there’s nothing I could say. If you are still willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, then the most complete argument for S5 (& tjlc in general really) is to look at BBC Sherlock holistically as having a five-act structure. With some emotional distance, it was much more obvious post-S4, but this analysis goes back to July 2016 if not earlier.

Besides this, the argument that it “seems more likely that the signs pointing to s5 and tjlc were a combination of being led on . . . queerbaiting . . . reading too much into things . . . and coincidence” cannot be simply contested in just this one post. We’ve argued against these things ad nauseum for years. If S5 is announced, this will not make all doubts about tjlc dissipate over night. It will not convince people of tjlc on its own and, frankly, nor should it.

“surely we'd at least have had an announcement for s5 by now if tjlc was real and s5 was really coming?” I do not have a bullet-proof answer to this nor do I pretend to fully understand what their reasons have been for waiting. They could have waited to announce it simply because they are in no personal hurry, because of Martin & Ben’s schedules and/or the pandemic (at least in part.) Regardless, there’s too much we don’t know to definitively say what their reasons are or are not.

The most compelling argument imo for why they have waited this long at all, has always been the inescapable fact that there are multiple Sherlock Holmes stories which remain under copyright until 2023. Even in 2020 Doyle’s estate tried to sue Netlfix because Enola Holmes depicted Holmes as ‘respectful of women,’ as well as too ‘emotional’ and ‘empathetic,’ arguing that he only fits these descriptions in the stories which were under copyright at the time. Their argument is terrible and there are definite holes so thankfully it was dismissed. But if these are the sort of details they would be willing to squabble over then surely an adaptation that dared to depict and "re-interpret" canon to say Holmes is gay would no doubt kick up controversy at the very least and probably lawsuits. As far as I know there wasn’t the same controversy/lawsuit over Watson being secretly in unrequited love with Holmes in The Irregulars, but Holmes' sexuality is another story altogether especially since many would sooner argue he did not have one at all.

Given all of the above, at this point why not wait until 2023 to bring back the show at all? Especially, if they plan to reference the specific stories under copyright. Even if they thought the estate would lose, why risk it or the hassle? Maybe they will announce it this year or 2023, or maybe not. If they don’t, our opinions won’t change any time soon, but nevertheless we cannot argue that they absolutely must have already announced S5 by now for our theory to be right that they plan to make a 5th, let alone tjlc.

[borkthemork]

In Dreams - Steven’s Dream Analysis

The episodes have taken out my kneecaps, so it’s now time for another symbolism analysis post!

Of course, I’ve been waiting for a long time for an episode such as this so I’m gladly jumping it; however, what we should keep noting is how dream interpretation will always branch out when it comes to connotations. So when we discuss “In Dreams”, any interpretation could be plausible since the elements found in the reveries could be viewed in differing ways depending on the angle of perspective.

I’ll be jumping around a lot since this won’t be the casual essay type of thing with transitions, it’ll more so be different portions where I bring my own interpretations into the mix and feel free to add onto it!

Anyway, let us begin!

Dream One (The Beginning)

For dreams, we usually have an intention or metaphorical usage found in different ways actions or scenes are being portrayed. The first dream is able to encapsulate a great deal of what Steven wants: the ability to live his life without feeling like his purpose of being present could only be done in the circumstances of heroism.

You see this play out with how Steven arrives at his own home, a place of familiarity. What is being shown is the ideal situation, what Steven wants to attain in the conscious world; it even shows the feeling of comfort or homeliness in the characters found inside of the building too!

Most of the people found inside are perceived by Steven to be enjoying luxury or a path of success. Lars definitely emphasizes this if we go back to how Steven, no matter how composed he had to be for Lars’s departure, still has a harm time coping with the fact that Lars is out there with his own objectives and goals — something new to pursue without Steven in the picture.

This opportunity of entry disappears from him. In dream interpretation, this is actually seen as a lack of entry towards a goal or objective and how one sees their ability to get to it.

The cookie cat has a chock full of content when it comes tothe placement of where it is in the dream. For one, there’s always the consideration of size difference, which always perpetuated the emphasis towards control, stability, the amount of domination in the situation.

What we’re seeing here is cookie cat looming down on him, while he’s very small compared to it, a classic showing of lack of control, the inability to feel dominant in a situation.

Secondly, the cookie cat is a specific symbol because if we could connect this to Steven, this could be seen in a few ways: his childhood innocence or his past.

“Steven, no one needs your help. So why are you still here?”

Cookie cats were always some form of correlation to a younger time, a childhood where it wasn’t tainted by the responsibilities towards the Crystal Gem motto, and since it’s been told numerous times by people that cookie cat has a backstory that parallels Pink Diamond (seen in the lyrics of leaving his family behind and the visual division of cookie cat’s colors) it is akin to seeing the past come back to tell him that he’s not allowed, that he doesn’t deserve, the opportunity of being happy with his friends and family.

That the only way for him to be happy with them is to be useful, helpful, and seeing the cookie cat — being very domineering and controlling of this principle — remove him from any access to that opportunity goes to show what Steven is internally feeling at the moment.

And then there’s the falling.

Falling in dreams always came back to the feeling of control in one’s situation, and Steven doesn’t feel that way (no shit).

He’s been told by his childhood paradigm that he can’t be happy, that people won’t be with him now that he’s perceived worthless in their eyes, and having him fall into an endless abyss away from his source of happiness and opportunity shows that feeling of helplessness so well.

Dreams 2-5 (CPH Dreams)

Now, there’s a post that explains the second dream a lot more for the potential dream symbolism of the Diamonds appearing. I’ll link it in the reblogs just so we can get it out of the way.

However, there’s a lot of significance in a few key pieces of imagery being seen that point to the fact that the past is coming back, and repression won’t help him now that it’s slipping into the conscious.

For psychology, repression and suppression are always an interesting topic to discuss because there’s always discussion on the idea of how even if someone attempts to cope and push away the origins of one’s anxieties into the unconscious, there’s always a way for them to slip into the forefront. What we’re seeing here is that: Steven finding the sources of his pain (or events he never had full closure over) being brought up again into remembrance.

What I also find interesting is that even though the montage shows such a comedic viewpoint, there’s an underlined grizzly context to many of the other occurrences found throughout it. 

The use ofDogcopter (another piece from Steven’s childhood) as a form of visual symbolism of separation, especially when it’s integrated into the shape of his three main caretakers (who influenced his Atlas complex heavily), continues the underlying fear that Steven still believes that he will be alone — that overall his childhood is disappearing and his connections are assumed to follow suit in that matter.

The imagery of baby Steven brings up an interesting tidbit about Carl Jung’s view of children when it comes to adulthood and care, especially if it seeps out of one’s subconscious into the conscious mind.

In every adult there lurks a child — an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole. -Carl Jung (Vol X. No. 10)

In other words, there’s a potential for yearning for care that hasn’t been fully given ever since childhood or that there’s a wanting for development, for something that can fulfill one’s character to its full completion until we can go into the next cycle of our life.

We could also interpret symbols to the state of hopelessness, lack of control, etcetera, so there are many more ways to view this when it comes to Steven and his current storyline. However, for the sake of keeping it short, I’ll bring the sources to the reblogs.

Dream 6 (The End)

Prior to the beginning of dream six, the fear of Steven’s usefulness to Peridot becomes a major concern for him as the episode goes on. He doesn’t want to lose another friend or become distant to them, and sadly, it shows a lot with this last dream shown.

However, before we can do that, let’s talk about Connie.

Now, I could joke that this is dream symbolism for Steven wanting to be stepped on, but there are a few ways to interpret this fully.

For one, this is another example of size difference being used as a form of dichotomy between control and lack thereof. For the first interpretation, since Connie is imprinted into the face of Obsidian, we could see this as another concern in Steven’s mind: that Connie has a handle on her life and what she plans to do while Steven feels helpless to what he even plans to enjoy or partake in now that his main task of Crystal Gem recovery has now been completed.

One could also say that this is another form of anxiety wrapped in another source of concern when we remember that Steven and his family got stepped on in CYM before Sunstone could save them. That was another moment where he almost died so it wouldn’t be surprising to see the idea of it getting placed into his subconscious as well, even if it’s very unlikely for me to interpret it as such.

Now let’s go to Peridot.

Before the introduction of her dream self, use of childhood imagery comes back once again with Steven’s old bedroom. Waking up in it could be seen as one harboring thoughts or a mindset that still permeates in the past and the prior, something that still hangs in one’s thoughts even in adulthood.

For Peridot’s dream self, even though the static is from real Peridot’s attempts to disconnect Steven from the dream, this plays once again to the imagery of vision and the soul in Steven Universe’s world. The disconnect to one’s person (soul and mindset), the feeling of being unable to reach out to a person, is there. He’s afraid; this is what he feared: Peridot is going to leave him now that he has failed, that he didn’t play the part for what she wanted him to do — he’s scared shitless of another person leaving him behind to pick up the pieces.

He believes that she has the opportunity to go forward into the future, to her own life, while there’s him, his opportunities closed off, unable to climb them from how arduous they are in scale.

Unable to touch her, to be able to keep close contact.

Unable to stop her from leaving.

But these are all fears, assumptions, and anxieties.

It doesn’t have to be like that. It doesn’t have to define you.

#steven universe #suf #su #steven universe future #suf spoilers #peridot #steven universe analysis #bork speaks

[gcldenchild]

Eyes to the floor. Shame in his expression. Hurt....depression. It's radiating in his heart. He's chewing on his bottom lip before he speaks. There's tears threatening to fall but it's them and only them. No one is around to hear from the safety of what has become their room and their bed.

"I...wanna know...Sol....why ya....left m'."

@alchemic-elric | what do you want to know? | accepting.

tangled limbs and hushed words. the twins are buried deep in their safe place, sun and moon hidden away where no one dare threaten them, never again.  this room is their HAVEN. this nest is their HOME.

there’s a pull on his heart, though. it is home only because luna has allowed it to be. it is home because he, by some miracle, never lost nest privileges after his utterly stupid action - one that they still hadn’t talked about, be it out of fear or pain. so when that tug on their bond happens, when those tears start welling up - oh, god, he knows. it is the only thing to prepare him for this conversation that they’ve avoided for weeks - no, months now.

he said he’d never leave. he promised he wouldn’t. and then he did anyways. there’s not much he can remember from that hellish week. he’s attributing that to getting beaten senseless, of course, but ... even despite how much damage he sustained, the promise still rings true.

he remembers the argument with verna that made his little balancing board break in half. he remembers the uncontrollable spiral that threatened to kill not just himself, but luna, alphonse, and humility, too.  it’s always after a meltdown that he does stupid things. he’s self-destructive, ignorant to the world around him. ignorant to how he makes others hurt until he’s driven all of them away or until it’s TOO LATE.

luna wants to know why he left. why he would break his promise.  and though it’s not said ... he can just feel it. he can just read it. 

as gently as he could possibly be, the sun goes to hold his moon’s hand, his metal thumb rubbing into the palm of his other half. his other hand goes to hold his own precious item - the necklace that glows a faint blue above his heart.  it’s time to make it all clear.

“ ... i was bein’ stupid.  there was a lotta shit goin’ through my brain then. i know y’ don’ ... go numb - y’ can’t, really - so y’ probably won’ be able t’ fully get what ‘m sayin’. ‘ll try m’ best t’ explain it. after i got - turned back int’ m’ again. an’ i rushed t’ help y’. i know y’ felt it lun’ - m’ heart ... everythin’ was fuzzy f’ me. it didn’ feel right. tha’s how i am after a meltdown. m’ emotions, m’ will t’ care ‘bout things that should matter an’ i KNOW should matter ...

it all goes away for a while. i ... usually ... takes me ‘bout two weeks t’ fully come outta it. at minimum. if - i f i rush it, or someone rushes m’, i ...  i get selfish. i get stupid. i get dumber than a bag’a rocks an’ think everythin’ would be better ‘f i wasn’ around ‘cause ’m a fuckin’ suicidal bastard, lun’.

i hate gettin’ like that. but - all those voices, everythin’ pushin y’ because y’ took m’ in, everythin’ that happened t’ y’ with humility ‘cause i managed t’ run int’ y’ ...  all th’ pain y’ were feelin’ ‘cause’a shit that wouldn’t have happened ‘f i wasn’ ‘round ... an’ the pushin’ of those grey bastards ... it was pushin’ me int’ “recovery” faster than i should’a been. i - i couldn’ handle it.  i don’ think i even remembered where i was anymore. all i could remember was that - i was the one causin’ problems. m’ existence is what brought all those fuckers there. in some dumb fuckin’ move i thought - i thought goin’ away would make them go ‘way too. my dumbass decided t’ make an assumption about how y’ would feel when i was in a state i COULDN’ feel shit in. ”

“ there ... there’re no excuses f’ what i did, lun’. only explanations. this shit - ‘s MY FAULT, utterly an’ completely. ‘m the one who asked th’ general t’ “go home” which killed y’ an’ nearly killed m’ several times. ‘m the one who let th’ general tell vern’ on his own and didn’ think t’ ask vern if he told y’ where we were goin’ at all. they were complicit but i was th’ fuckin’ source.

‘s not your fault. ‘s mine. it wasn’ because y’ had one’a your bad days that i left - it was ‘cause th’ depressed n’ damaged part’a me that leads after a meltdown couldn’ cope with all of m’ own stupid guilt. 

i broke m’ promise t’ y’ and i don’ expect forgiveness f’ it.

i hurt y’ an’ there’s no goin’ back from that. y’ did everythin’ y’ could t’ help m’ after reachin’ out and findin’ that fuckin’ mess’a emotions n’ i went an’ broke that promise that i KNEW the weight of. ‘ve got NO EXCUSE.

... bein’ separated from y’, nearly dyin’ ... feelin’ y’ respond t’ m’ calls even after what i did. tha’s ... tha’s what helped m’ break through. feelin’ our bond again.  i didn’ know how serious it was until then when it was so fuckin’ obvious.  tha’s ... tha’s why i started workin’ on that bracelet. why i kept it hidden until i finished it. i didn’ want it t’ be an apology.  i wanted it t’ be somethin’ special f’ y’ after i went through everythin’ i needed t’ in order t’ be able t’ hold y’ ‘gain like we do now every night. 

i was drownin’ in guilt but i wasn’ gonna subject y’ t’ that. not after i already did it once. it was m’ fault this shit happened but leavin’ was a dumb fuckin’ impulsive decision made without considerin’ anythin’ in th’ world ‘round me. 

i love y’ so much, lun’. more than ‘ve ever loved a’yone n’ m’ life. y’ mean everythin’ t’ me.  so i don’ want y’ t’ ever think that y’ deserved th’ hurt i caused y’, alright ? it wasn’ your fault. ”

#long post #suicide mention #tw suicidal ideation #cw suicidal ideation #death mention #tw death #cw death #{|❂|} THE START OF A NEW ERA | ic. #{|❂|} MOTHER'S TOUCH (HOW CAN YOU TRUST ME?) | alchemic-elric #{|❂|} TO BE WITH YOU ALWAYS | timeless dance of the eclipse verse. #holy FUCK sol you gave me so much for this

[trainsinanime]

It's hilarious how Desperada was this episode of Miraculous Ladybug that so desperately (heh) tried to set up Lukanette, and yet all anyone remembers from it was the Ladrien.

Like, the start of the episode had several scenarios where the correct thing for Marinette to do was to choose Luka over Adrien, and she refused. Then it came time to hand out a new superpower, the correct choice would have been Luka, and she choose Adrien again, and as a result she ended up loosing the fight 25,913 times. Finally she chooses Luka, and everything is solved. The moral of the story, because every Miraculous Ladybug episode must have a moral, is, "Sometimes you have to choose Luka, even though you clearly don't want to, because otherwise the gods of the universe will keep torturing Adrien until you do". We've all been there, right?

(Mind you, she had no way of knowing that Adrien was the wrong choice for the Miraculous. In that case her choosing him over Luka actually made a lot of sense; she knows him far better, regardless of her crush. But the episode completely ignored this, and so will I.)

But if we judge the episode by that goal, by trying to convince Marinette (and in turn us) that hey, maybe Luka could be a valid choice as well… it kind of failed. A little bit. At least as far as I can tell from the fandom reaction.

The first major problem is that all the Ladrien, Adrinette and Ladynoir content in there is just way too adorable. Well, I say "problem", you know what I mean. Look at how much love Adrien has for Ladybug! Look at his despair whenever she gets captured!

The other problem is that this episode honestly doesn't treat Luka as a character. In this episode, he is simply a prop.

At the start of the episode, the point of view character is Marinette. All her actions are focused on Adrien. Luka is also there, ready to be her chosen, but he doesn't do anything relevant to the plot. Neither does Adrien, but Marinette's focus on him means that their relationship develops, while hers with Luka is left hanging.

Then we get the fight, and the focus shifts to Adrien. It's all about his actions, his kind of stupid decision to take the Miraculous, and his love for Ladybug, which helps develop their relationship. Luka, once more, is there as well.

When both Adrien and Marinette finally decide that they could've handled this better, and the Miraculous gets handed to Luka, the character development focus is on… nobody. It's all just CGI fight scenes. Luka does some stuff, but there is no sense of him developing any sort of relationship with Ladybug and/or Chat Noir outside of the purely professional. The pairing of Aspik and Ladybug was very intimate because it was two people who already knew each other and had giant crushes, and who were always in peril. With Viperion instead, we get three people, no intimacy, and just a lot of success all around, which is awesome to see but doesn't really leave room for heartfelt love confessions.

So while the text of the episode is all, "Marinette learns that Luka is also a viable option in specific circumstances", the relationship that it actually develops is that between Marinette and Adrien. And it does that very well.

The show wants to act like Luka is the big romantic fake-out option, but when it comes to allocating screentime, it'll always pick Adrinette first. So it keeps trying to build up Luka, but actually just keeps undermining him. (Compare and contrast Kagami, who is completely different, but that's really a whole other post) Oh well, I'm sure he'll cope by strumming a few meaningful chords on his guitar.

#miraculous ladybug #adrinette #adrien agreste #Marinette dupain cheng #aspik #ladybug #mlb meta

[elsawiththegoodhair]

A First Kiss -

When: Post Daken’s Attack on Kurt Where: District X - Bobby’s Staff Office With: Kurt @daddybamf

Desc: Bobby and Kurt talk about their feelings, decide to take things slowly and Kurt tells Bobby about Daken’s jealousy.  

Bobby: Bobby was incredibly relieved to have his powers back, even if they scared him at times they were such a massive part of who he was he couldn't imagine his life without them. That and God he hated feeling the cold. It was awful! He didn't know how people actually managed with it. Still, it seemed like the District was back to normal already. Classes were back on, kids were running around and training was in full swing. Bobby was trying his best to forget about the whole thing and move on so they could all be prepared. Trouble was, the night in the safe house with Kurt wouldn't leave his mind. They hadn't done anything except sleep next to each other (him hogging all the blankets) but seeing the other standing undressed in the mirror seemed to have clobbered his mind with the fact that Kurt was damn attractive, not just when he looked like a regular guy, but when he was himself, more so when he was himself. And he was one of the kindest guys he'd ever met... God dammit, he needed to stop this. He sighed over his marking and looked up as a knock sounded on the door, "C'min!" he called, wondering who it was.

Kurt: Kurt hadn't felt this nervous or awkward since he was a teenager first arriving at Charles' school. The teleporter fidgeted outside Bobby's door - debating whether or not he wanted to knock on it. Things had felt... different, ever since that night in the safe house. Whenever he looked at Bobby now, there was an undeniable interest he could feel; but he didn't know what to do about it. Kurt had always been the devout Catholic - and attraction to the same sex was just something that wasn't supposed to be 'right'. But did any of that matter anymore? He had insider information about the cosmos; did playing the fanatic faithful really do him any justice anymore? Finally, the three-fingered hand reached out and rasped on the door. Hearing Bobby's response, it took Kurt a few seconds before he opened the door and peaked his head inside. "Hey." The word felt like it came out quieter than it really did. Looking at the blonde now, Kurt had to question if he had always felt this way about the male and just chose to ignore them on principle. Bobby had always been good-looking, but he really came into his looks over the years - and Kurt had a front-row seat through their awkward late-teenage years and even through the Schism up until coming to Star City. Kurt shoved his conflicting thoughts aside and put on a smile as he stepped into the room. "Are you doing okay? Eferyvon seems to be normal; powers returning properly." He spoke.

Bobby: Bobby looked up and instantly felt a little coil in his belly when he recognised Kurt on the other side of the door. Ever since they’d ended up sharing a bed when their powers were out of commission it was like he’d started to see the other in a different light and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. When he’d had any feelings about Warren back in the day they were buried so deep in his own denial he didn’t even register them as something at all. Now though, everything was out in the open and he could have those feelings about Kurt. He just wasn’t sure it was a very good idea, especially if it made him uncomfortable. “Hey yourself.” He said with a small grin after a moment’s pause. “O-oh yeah, everything’s ship shape and shiny. I can finally wear t-shirts again.“ He gestured at the thin, light-blue t-shirt he was wearing that was just the right side of too tight, “Wearing all those layers was so uncomfortable. I hated it.” He chuckled a little and tapped his pen against the desk, “What about you? Happy being fuzzy again?“ Even if things had been ‘normal’ for them all for a little while now, he and Kurt hadn’t seen much of each other aside from sharing looked in the hallway or their usual meetings. “It’s nice seeing you as yourself again.”

Kurt: Hearing that the other had recovered from the incident as well put Kurt at ease. It seemed the inhibitors hadn't come with any sort of permanent side effect - and that was good news to him. He shifted his feet slightly and gave a small laughter at Bobby's joking about his clothes - though he felt his eyes linger just a few seconds too long at the tight-fitting shirt the male currently wore. When he peeled his eyes away, he quickly nodded to the blonde's question. "I am. Kind of sad to be back to 'normal' too if I'm being completely honest, ya? I was kind of getting used to looking normal to ze vorld visout needing my inducer." He admitted.

Bobby: Bobby nodded at the other's words, "Yea, it's much easier to get by in this world when you look like just another average white guy." Hell, he knew that better than most; so long as he wasn't recognised Bobby could blend into a crowd easily, he'd been told a few times he has a pretty 'generic' face. "But I think you look better like this," he said after a moment's pause, "Y'know, you would be you if you weren't a blue fuzzy elf. That's my friend." And now they were back in the District there was no more need to hide it. It was just sad the rest of the world couldn't be like that. "So... You came to uhh, check up on me?" he asked with a little smile. It was nice to know Kurt had been thinking of him.

Kurt: Kurt looked down at the ground shyly, knowing he would have blushed if his furred skin would allow it. "You...do? You don't prefer me ze ozer vay...?" He questioned, unable to put his curiosity to rest. The teleporter moved further into the room; walking over and hopping up on the nearest surface to crouch on. "Of course I came to check on you." He offered a smile at the other's words. "We really haven't seen much of von anoser since... vell, you know."

Bobby: "Wha? Why would I?" Bobby asked, for once any connotations about his words going over his head, "Ever since I've met you, you've been blue, fuzzy and with a cool tail, I'll always take you like that." he said with a grin, "Human You is cool but it's like Logan suddenly being super nice or Scott being laid back, it just isn't you." He chuckled when Kurt needed to perch on something, "Well, thanks. But I'm good. I didn't wanna be around you loads in case I uhh... made you uncomfortable that night..." he mumbled a little, now it was his turn to look down.

Kurt: The notion that Bobby preferred and thought of his mutations as Kurt's 'normal' brought a smile to the other's face. When Bobby voiced his concerns about that evening, Kurt softly shook his head. "You didn't make me uncomfortable Bobby. I vas... flattered, by your compliments." He explained softly. "I... I just... I don't...." He couldn't figure out what he wanted to say or how he wanted to say it and closed his mouth into a pinched frown for several silent seconds. "You didn't do anysing wrong." He finally sighed out.

Bobby: Bobby sighed, he could tell he'd done something wrong, or at least changed their dynamic from what it'd been before. Hell, they'd been great friends but now there was this tension and he didn't like it. "But I did, didn't I?" he asked quietly, "And I get it, you've never been shy about your faith and it means more to me than I can say that we're still friends even after I came out, but that doesn't mean it's fair to put... attentions on you that you didn't expect." he cleared his throat, nervously tapping his pen on the desk, "We can uhh... just try and forget it if that makes things easier?" he asked, eyes flicking from Kurt's lips back to his eyes.

Kurt: Kurt let out a quiet sigh and remain silent for a moment; letting Bobby finish talking before he started. The crouch suddenly dropped into an actual sitting position and Kurt kept his gaze focused on the floor. "My faith vas eferysing to me. It vas a pillar of who I vas, ya?" He spoke. "After I died zough... and ze sings I haf learned since coming back - about Heaven and Hell... about vat exactly ze cost vas... I don't know vat to belief in anymore." Kurt explained gently. Finally, his gaze lifted to the blonde. "I don't vant to forget... but I don't know how to act on... zese feelings." The words were soft. "Looking at you, eferysing... feels different. I sink I've alvays felt zis vay? I sink I just ignored zem...because it is vat my faith taught me for so long." He tried to explain his thoughts properly.

Bobby: Bobby tilted his head slightly, doing his best to listen and take in what the other said since they were talking about such a huge part of Kurt's life, "You uhh... you don't talk much about that." he said after a pause, which he understood, Warren, Jean, they'd both died and come back, it still wasn't a topic they would open up about. "W-wait wait wait-" he dropped the pen and gestured slightly, "You have uhh... feelings?" he squeaked a little, shocked to learn this wasn't all one-sided. "I mean uhh, whatever you feel is valid y'know. It umm, it took me a long time to try and come to terms with who I was. Hell a me from the past had to confront me about it," he laughed a little nervously, "But... You can't rush anything I mean, you have to come to terms with who you are now and that's hard." Bobby knew that. "And uhh... Even if some people say it's against God... I'm pretty sure the pope was okay with it?" Maybe he'd seen a tweet about that ages ago? Given his own childhood Bobby didn't engage with religion unless he had to.

Kurt: "It's.. hard to talk about coping with a sudden restless immortality, ya?" He remarked off-handedly, but took each word Bobby said and listened to them deeply. "I... ve haf known each ozer since ve vere teenagers, Bobby. How could zere not be some sort of feeling? You... really grew into your looks, ya?" Kurt questioned softly. He thought for a moment and finally spoke once more. "I don't sink... I'm as concerned about who I am. Zis is just me... but, it is more concerning vat am I supposed to do vis ze vay I feel." He tried to clarify. His gaze was locked onto Bobby for the longest time. "I... yeah, I sink so..." Kurt rolled his shoulders slightly. Was this one of those moments he needed to cut ties with his old sense of 'morality'? If he was to spend his life waking up at the Bamf's discretion, was it truly worth it to live such a pious existence without the promise of the rewards at the end of the journey?

Bobby: "I can imagine..." he didn't like to think about stuff like that much. He knew he aged outside of his ice form but he didn't think he could age when he was iced up. And now he could stay in that form so easily it he could (in theory) keep it up forever. "I-I uhr... I did?" he made a face at the idea; Bobby had never considered himself good looking (he'd grown up with Scott and Warren for God's sake, he knew what handsome men looked like) and aside from being in good shape thanks to constant training that was all he reckoned he had going for him. He swallowed, feeling a red flush begin to cover his cheeks and immediately wanting to talk about turtles cause that was his damn go-to in the face of nervousness with hot guys... He tried to keep Kurt's gaze and ended up looking away as the blush spread, "W-well. I can't tell ya what you should do Kurt, that wouldn't be right and I''d be a little biased... But umm, think of it this way: love's a good thing, right? And you wouldn't be hurting anyone. So if being with a guy- any guy made you happy, what would be the bad part of it?"

Kurt: Kurt fidgeted - fumbling his hands together as he listened to Bobby. "I... yes, I suppose you are right. It vouldn't be harming anyvon and maybe it vould make me happy? I vouldn't know unless I gave it a try, ya?" The teleporter let out a small breath once more. He chewed on his lip, tail idly waving from one side and slowly back to the other as he sat there. Then there was silence once more. Kurt wasn't sure how to fill it and finally made a motion to stand up. "I... um... maybe I should...." The words trailed off as the gazed at the blonde. Kurt didn't want to just find some guy and see if it made him happy. He wanted to be happy - with Bobby. He couldn't deny that that was the feeling that kept his stomach doing flips.

Bobby: "Ahh, yea... That's a thing you should probably do, hehe." The nervous chuckle did a bad job at covering how much he wanted to bash his head on the desk in punishment for his own ineptitude. Kurt liked him (bugger if he knew why). He liked Kurt. And it seemed like Kurt was doing his best to try and take something further and he wasn't helping at all. "Okay umm uhr..." he cleared his throat and rose from his desk, fingers clenching and opening at his side, "How bout something like this." Bobby took a deep breath, his heart going like a jackhammer and (with plenty of time for Kurt to back away if he wanted to) closed the distance between them and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, feeling the other's warm skin against his own colder mouth. It was, slow, short and gentle and as he pulled back he blinked a few times and felt as though his face as on fire with his own blush, "So umm... yea... that's a thing."

Kurt: Bobby's movement to rise to his own feet caught Kurt off-guard and he eyed the way his fingers clenched and opened at his sides. When he moved in to close the distance between them, however, Kurt couldn't move. Zis, is happening. His mind alerted him as Bobby moved closer. He felt the chill resonating from the other male's body - like a personal air conditioner, and the lips on his made his eyes widen. A shiver went down his spine from both the chill and the sensation. He blinked as Bobby broke away and swallowed hard. "I nefer realized how chilly you vere." Kurt said softly - that was what his mind chose to react to first.  "I... vant more of zat... ya?" The mutant finally stated. "But, uh, I don't sink I can move my body right now." His legs wouldn't budge no matter how badly he commanded them to.

Bobby: Bobby let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding and it ended up being a laugh at that. "Yea, I'm a uhh, a chill dude." he couldn't help but make the awful pun since humour was a safety net for him. "Glad it umm, doesn't bother you." Judah hadn't liked it and they hadn't even slept together, just cuddled. He licked his lips and a shy smile curled up when Kurt admitted he'd like more, "Well that's uhr, that's great- that you want more! Not that uhh, you can't more much." Another nervous laugh followed. "I mean, we should, y'know, take this slow yea?" he asked, "It wouldn't be fair to push you and I don't wanna move too quickly." Despite him being a bit of a playboy back when he'd had girlfriends he didn't want to act like that anymore. He swallowed and took a step back, "Are you... are you gonna be okay?" It was kind of a big revelation after all.

Kurt: Kurt laughed - harder than he thought he would - when Bobby chose now of all times to work in an 'ice' pun. "It...uh, it definitely does not boser me." He stated sheepishly before giving him a small nod. "Yes. I vant to do... whatefer zis is between us; ze right vay." The blue mutant smiled and finally his body stepped closer to Bobby's. When Bobby asked if he was going to be okay, he answered by - hesitantly, of course - closing the gap between them to lock lips once more for a more lingering peck. "I..sink I vill be just fine. Maybe." He said softly as he broke away - but suddenly he frowned. "Vat... about Daken sough?" He asked suddenly. "He made it pretty clear when he invaded my Danger Room simulation, that I vas threatening him somehow by just looking at you..." He couldn't help but ask. If Daken had eyes on Bobby - and Bobby felt the same way - Kurt didn't feel right about starting this up. No matter how much his body was screaming 'Yes'; Kurt would respect if Bobby was interested into someone else.

Bobby: Bobby couldn't help it, he made jokes all the time and was bad at handling nerves. Still, Kurt seemed to take it well and that helped him relax. "Oh well uhh, that's really neat." he said with too many nods 'neat' ... he needed to stop saying that word. "I'm glad, that makes two of us course y'know," Bobby cleared his throat and an arm came up to rub the back of his neck, "I've dated a few guys-" like three "But I haven't umm... y'know." he really didn't wanna say it, it made him feel like he didn't know what he was doing. He'd had sex before, with ladies, and he's seen porn, how hard could it be? Heh, hard. He chuckled a little as his own internal joke before Kurt mentioning Daken caused the smile to drop from his face. "I'm sorry what?" he asked, blinking several times, "Daken in the danger room? He was in the school?! Kurt what did he do?" he didn't understand, sure he'd seen Daken hanging around the District once but he'd made very clear he wasn't interested. "And there's nothing between Daken and me, there never has been. For god's sake he stabbed my last boyfriend when he invaded the school."

Kurt: Kurt choked on his breathing slightly as Bobby spoke and quickly shook his head. "I... haf not.. you know, eiser... not vis a man." Kurt quickly assured the other, looking anywhere around the room in total embarrassment. He was almost thankful the conversation shifted over to Daken for the time being - but he found himself growing quiet at Bobby's questions. "He hijacked a training session I vas hafing... zere vas a lot of fighting." Kurt explained. He still had the marks where the cuts on his arms were healing up. The teleporter stepped away from Bobby - taking several steps before he stopped and finally shook his head. "Bobby, zat man is literally insane... he says zat he doesn't efen vant you, but he threatened to kill me if I got near you..." Kurt explained.

Bobby: Well, he’d managed to embarrass them both thoroughly with that one, great wonderful maybe he should kick Kurt in the shin while he was at it to make this as horrible as he could. “Well I uhh… no office but I figured, y’know you and your faith and… stuff.” He shrugged, hoping that didn’t come off as rude. Though his awkwardness soon melted away to worry as Kurt told him what Daken had had the gall to do. By the time Kurt was done though Bobby wasn’t worried, he wasn’t even mad, he was furious. The temperature in the room had dropped significantly. “Let me get this straight, Kurt. Daken, broke into the school, assaulted a tech, messed with the danger room, assault you with the intent to kill and tried to claim me as his own like I’m some sort of pet?” The question was posed calmly, too calmly and while the room was chilly there was no ice on the walls. It was so uncharacteristic of the usual jovial man that it signified all too well lines had been crossed that couldn’t be undone. “Is that correct?”

Kurt: Kurt cleared his throat. Bobby had a point - it was pretty obvious that the mutant was inexperienced with same-sex relations. The fur along Kurt's body stood on edge as chills coursed through his body. Was the room getting colder? When he had finished explaining what Daken had done, Kurt was certain the room was a lot colder than it had been minutes earlier. "Bobby..." Kurt said slowly and with a heavy frown as the man posed his question. "Daken and I have never gotten along... the kid is notsing like Logan..." Kurt tried to play the situation off on a less serious tone. Bobby's excessively calm demeanor was unsettling, even for Kurt.

Bobby: Bobby seemed almost eerily calm as he listened to Kurt speak, in his mind he’d already come to a decision. Daken had crossed a line Bobby hadn’t even expected a person would have to draw, he’d put a member of their staff into hospital and endangered Kurt. Something needed to be done. “Kurt, you’re right, Daken is nothing like his father. I frankly don’t care what he’s like but I do care that he has hurt one of our own and tried to kill you.” He took a breath, “I will deal with this. It can’t go any further and I will not let that man think he can attack us without recompense.” He put a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, the touch almost icy, “Please, let the others know what’s happened so we can increase security protocols. I will deal with Daken myself.“ And with that, Bobby moved to the door and left, the chill lingering even after he was gone.

#Convos #Convo:Kurt #daddybamf #A First Kiss #Discord Post

[roshdy93]

Macon Personal Injury Attorney

What To Do If You`ve Been In A Car Accident In Macon

Being in a Macon vehicle accident is not merely stressful but also quite chaotic. You may be wondering what you should do and exactly how you can approach the accident. This really is much more challenging if you`ve been badly injured of when there is significant problems for your automobile or problems with another driver or other involved parties.

The actions which you take right after a car accident in Macon are incredibly important. In the event that you will be not in the wrong or otherwise not completely at fault, then it is possible that you can file an insurance claim. However, to carry out this, you need to compile information for your claim.

In this posting, we shall have a look at what you must do on the day of your accident plus the day after.

Tips On What You Must Do Right After The Accident in Macon

When you know how to proceed after any sort of accident, it will can make the complete process of filing your insurance claim a great deal simpler. So, when you are ready, you will certainly be within a stronger position to handle accident and get the proper evidence in order to submit your claim.

We will now examine several items you should immediately do right after the accident.

1. Remain calm and remain in the scene

You should stay put on the scene from the accident even when it is a small accident. You need to never just drive away or forget to report it. Should you leave the scene, this is certainly an offense where there are penalties that you could suffer including having your license suspended as well as having to see jail. If you live in Georgia then according to the Georgia code section 40-6-270, you really need to quit once a car accident has occurred there is any damage to the automobile, accidental injury or death. You should get in touch with a personal injury lawyer in Macon.

Additionally, you should also place yourself in a safe location that will guarantee that you can forget accidents occur. This basically means that you need to wear the hazard lights on your own vehicle, drive to the side of your road and employ a flashlight in the night when coming out of your automobile. In case your car or truck cannot move, then you definitely should leave the automobile and visit a safer place that may be not on the roadway.

2. Obtain the information of the other Macon driver as well as provide your own information directly to them

Just after the accident, you need to exchange information together with the other driver, passengers as well as other involved parties. Which means you should have their full names, phone numbers, record the make, color and license plate amount of the vehicle, drivers license info, insurance info etc.

Now, the authorities officers that reply to the accident can get this data but you need to get it yourself just in cases where they lose it.

After the accident, if there is anyone which is unconscious or hurt, you must get these people to a hospital as soon as you can.

3. Allow the Macon police know as soon as possible

You ought to report the accident once you can and this is certainly legally needed in the vast majority of states. It is actually mandatory in the state Georgia, particularly if anyone is injured or when there is property damage that is certainly worth over $500.

You must call 911 as a way to report the crash, even if it is a compact accident. This will let the police to create up any sort of accident report which happens to be absolutely essential to your insurance claim. So, make sure you tell law enforcement officer at length everything that you remember along with the exact sequence of events that cause the accident.

You must never fabricate any details or try to make guesses to what occurred. Should you don` understand how to answer questions or if perhaps you don`t determine you`re injured, then you should just tell them that you`re not sure as oppose to giving a specific answer.

4. Take numerous photos

Thanks to modern technology, the majority of people generally have their smartphone along with them which can be fitted with cameras. So, upon having a camera you should take as many photos as is possible. Some of the items you should take pictures of include:

- Injuries you possess along with injuries of other persons involved

- Damages in your vehicle

- The scene in the accident

Through photos from the accident, it is going to provide a great deal of evidence to exhibit the damages incurred due to the accident. This helps quite a lot with any injury claims you could file. In case you can`t take photos immediately, be sure you drive them at the earliest opportunity.

5. Get the information on any witnesses in Macon Georgia

If you can find witnesses to the accident, you need to talk with them and have their contact details. By having witnesses who are likely to testify, they are going to help your case a great deal.

6. Don`t talk excessive using the other involved Macon party/driver

While you really should be polite and speak with other driver, you ought to limit your communication. Many people are usually quite emotional immediately after any sort of accident so you want to do the best to settle down. You ought to be careful of what you tell the other driver and make sure you never admit that you just were responsible for that accident as well as apologize.

This is very important because whatever you decide to say can be utilized against you from the other party or their insurance provider.

Where To Start A Few Days Following The Motor Vehicle Accident in Macon

While you will have recorded evidence on the scene, you must not stop gathering evidence. After a few days have passed, make sure to consider pictures of and record some other injuries or bodily damages maybe you have. When you have a major injury because of the accident, then it is highly advised that you just engage a motor vehicle accident attorney who can help you.

Next, you need to visit a doctor at the earliest opportunity. Simply because nearly all injuries would not be visible or known soon after the accident. Normally it takes a couple of days or even longer before injuries reveal themselves. Consequently, it is essential that you visit a health care provider without delay following the accident and even if you`ve already seen one, you ought to obtain them again when you experience more pain or other issues.

By seeing the physician, they will likely have got a professional take a look at injuries and treat them immediately before they become worse. This will make sure that your disease doesn`t worsen and this the price of your treatment is minimum. Additionally, attending a doctor as soon after your accident will help the insurer to determine that this injuries you possess are because of the accident. You need to record all your doctor visits, treatments, medical expenses etc.

Make Certain You Have Your Macon Records

It is recommended to possess a designated folder where you could store all the documents related to your accident. This folder must have your debts, notes from your doctor etc. It will likewise have:

1. The total name of your own claim`s insurance adjuster

2. All of the contact information and names of relevant parties

3. Every one of the receipts you have from expenses as a result of accident

4. Your individual insurance claim number

Legal Advice

It is vital that you will get legal counsel from a lawyer that will help you through the process after your accident. This is important because insurance claims can be very complicated and hard to cope with. Additionally, you will have to deal with the other party`s insurance provider and you will probably need proper legal guidance to find the best result.

So, once you hire a skilled attorney, they are going to take you step-by-step through every step and possess your interest at heart.

Let your  Macon Insurance Carrier Know

In many instances, you will have to let your very own insurance carrier know about the accident. They may be quite helpful if the other party doesn`t have insurance or maybe if they left the scene without offering you their name and make contact with information.

Accidental Macon Personal Injuries Claim

Lastly, you will have to file your insurance claim to help you be compensated to the damages you incurred as a result of accident, in the event the other party was at fault. However, do be aware that you merely have as much as 2 years to accomplish this.

Be sure you maintain the above guidelines in mind and be sure get in touch with an automobile accident lawyer that can help you through this challenging process.

Kenneth S. Nugent, P.C. 487 Cherry St #200, Macon, GA 31201 [phone]

#Macon Personal Injury Lawyer #Auto Accident Attorney MAcon GA

[mlovesstories]

A Family Attitude Part 8

Warnings: panic attacks, emotions, child/adult fight, language maybe

Word Count 2000

Jensen x Daughter!reader

Jared x Niece!reader

Danneel x platonic!child reader

Psychologist!Dr. Wiley x child reader!platonic

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“You okay?”  Jared held YN into his chest.  Her chest heaved, and she controlled her breathing.  

“Yeah… I think so.”

______

“She needs a more structured setting, dude.  Her panic attacks have gotten worse,” Jared told Jensen in his trailer.  “She’s not doing any better.  Please let me get someone else.  I love her, but I can’t watch her suffer like this.  I got better because someone told me I couldn’t do it without clinical help.  Please do this.  She needs it.”  

“She’ll hate me.”  

“At least she’ll be healthy, buddy.  You’re job is not for her to like you,”  Jared expressed honestly. “How many times did your parents do things you hated but it worked out in the end?”

“You’re right.  Give me the guy’s number.  I need to fix this.”

_______

Jensen, Danneel and YN were laughing in the trailer when Jared knocked on the door.  The taller actor entered with a very professional-looking man.  He looked to be in his 30s, short hair with a button down shirt and tie. The shoes gave him away.  

“No.  Jared, get him out of here.”

“This is Dr. Wiley.  He is my psychologist.  He’s here to-”

“No.  Dad, I told you no therapists.” YN yelled at her father.

“I know, but you’re still struggling, and he can help you.  Please.”  

“Hi, I’m Dr. Wiley,” he smiled.

“Eat me, Hasselhoff.” She tightened her jaw at the man. ”Were you all in on this?”  YN angrily surveyed their faces.  They weren’t giving in, and she felt betrayed.  “Wow, this is a new low, even for you, Dad.  I hate you.”  YN stood up and stormed out of the trailer.   

“That went about how I thought it would.  Sorry, Dr. Wiley.”

“That is not the worst reaction I’ve gotten Mr. Ackles, I’m not worried.”

“Can you just hang around?  Show her you’re not leaving just because of her attitude?”  Jensen practically begged.  

“You should join my practice, Mr. Ackles,” he chuckled.  “She and I will be just fine.”

_______

Danneel saw YN and approached her in her hiding spot behind the actors’ trailers.

“Did you know about this too?”  YN gritted her teeth.  

“I knew Jensen might enlist the doctor’s help, but that’s all I heard.”  

“And you and I were just getting along…”

“You may not be able to see it now, but we love you.  If you can push through-”

“Shut up, Danneel.  You’ve hated me since my dad started dating you.”

“That is not true!  I have fallen in love with you both!  You are just mad because we are helping you in a way that you don’t like.  You want to feel better, right?”

“I’m not helpless!  I can handle this!”

“No, you can’t!  We’ve done everything we can, and it isn’t helping!  Do you want your life back or not?”

“I’m fine!”

“Obviously.  It’s not like you have a panic attack every night!  I don’t mind staying with you at night, but do you want to feel better?  Tell me!” Danneel screamed.

“Yes!”  YN gave in, crying in defeat.  “I can’t.  I’m so tired.”

Danneel sat next to YN on the ground, leaning against the trailer wall.  

“I don’t hate you.  I love you even if you don’t know it right now.”

_______

“Why are you still here?”  YN asked Dr. Wiley after calming down.  She walked up to him under the tent and sat at the lunch tables across from the doctor.  

“There are a lot of people that love you.  They care about you, and they know I can help you.

“I’m not some psycho case,” YN said defensively.  

“None of my patients are,” the doctor grinned at her claim.  “I promise, I will not treat you as if you are weird or different.  You are a person who needs to learn some coping mechanisms.  You have anxiety, and I can help calm you down.  Would you like that?”  YN relaxed her expression. 

“Um, yeah.  That would be great, actually.”

“Imagine if you had some things to use when you feel stressed out.  Would you feel better?”

“I think so.”

“Great.  You ready to get started?”

________

Jensen climbed into the van that would take him and his daughter back to their apartment.  As he and YN sat in the second row, she huffed.  

“Hey, you okay?  I know today was-”

“I’m fine.”  YN growled.  “I’m tired of talking.”

“I’m sure.  Just tell me that you know I love you.  I know you were surprised, and I’m sorry.  I just love you so much.  I don’t want you hurting anymore.”  Sorrowfully, Jensen looked up from the floor to his daughter.

“I still don’t like you.”

“Okay, I’ll take it.”  

———

I want you to get some exercise once you leave. It will decrease your stress and make your body tired.”

“I’m not fat,” YN didn’t like his insinuation.  

“I’m not saying you are.  I’m saying that instead of having an attack that causes your body to react, use energy so that your body is too tired.  And breathe.  Normally.  When you’re in the moment work on realizing it will end.  Try out those things, and report back to me the next time we talk.  I think it will help.” He smiled at her.

“That sounds stupid.  I can’t think like that when I’m on the floor scratching my leg.”

“Okay, how about this?  Count.  If you can count in order, do math problems in your head.  Or if someone is around, have them quiz you.  Do what works for you.  We’ll try some other techniques if these don’t work.  Does that sound more manageable?”

“I will try, but I don’t think it will work.”

“Just try, that’s all I ask.  I want to talk to you two times a week, okay?  I know you go back and forth from Austin to Vancouver, so phone calls will suffice.”  

“Yes, sir.”

_______

“I’m so glad you chose to participate, YN.  I will talk with you soon.”  Dr. Wiley smiled as Jensen and YN walked out of his office.  

As the Ackles’ walked to the subway, Jensen looked his daughter and her relaxed state.  

“You seem more calm.  Do you feel a little bit better now?”

“Yes.  He seems nice.”

“I can already tell you are happier.  I think the new exercises will be a benefit, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” YN agreed.  “I hope someone is there next time something happens though.  I’m afraid I might freeze.  

“I’m sure it’s scary, but we’ll work through it.  We always do.”

______

Jensen heard unusual noises coming from YN’s Vancouver bedroom. He sprinted through her door entry to assess the situation.  She was awake but on the floor, violently shaking.  

“Hey, I know you can hear me.  Can you talk?” Jensen made eye contact with his daughter. She shook her head, but he barely noticed.  “Okay, this will end. We just have to endure this right now. I want you to count in your head, okay? Every time you say a number in your head, squeeze my hand.”  Jensen took her hand but she rolled the other way, pushing him away. “No, come on.  Please.”  He tried to keep an even voice.  Once she calmed somewhat, he had her count out loud.

“You’re doing great.  You will be fine.  I love you.”

“‘Ve you too,” she gave a tired smile. Her dad stood up and extended his hands to her. “I am tired, Daddy.  Can you stay?”  She asked slowly, matching her thoughts with her words.

“Sure, sweetheart. Stand up, let’s get you back in bed.”

_______

The next day, Jensen took YN into the gym trailer on set.  Between setups, they did some simple exercises that used her physical energy.  

“Good girl, keep going.”  Jensen encouraged his daughter as she punched the pads on his arms.  “1-2, 1-2, nice job.  Water break!”  

“Thanks,” YN was handed a water bottle by her father.  

“How do you feel?”

“My muscles aren’t as tight.”

“Good, that’s what we’re going for.  I’m so proud of you.”

“We’ll see if it works though.”  She let out a breath, defeated.

“Hey, look at me.” Jensen hated her doubtfulness. “We have to try different things.  That’s just part of it unfortunately.  But I love you.  You’re doing so good.  I hope deep down you see that.  You’re fighting to get your life back.  That’s a good thing, YN.”

“I know, it has just taken a long time.”  

“It has, but you’re more calm, and you know why you do the things you do when you get anxious now, right?  Dr. Wiley has told you that it’s okay and it’s not uncommon for someone who has lost a parent to go through this.  You aren’t alone, you know.”

“You’re doing fine though, Dad.  You don’t have to deal with this.”  YN felt her muscles tighten.  

“We are not having that discussion right now.  I can see you getting amped up. Don’t compare yourself to me.  We all handle things differently.  Let’s get back to it so that you can get loose again.”

_______

“How do you do it?”  Yn was lying on the couch with her dad in their Austin home.  

“What?”

“With Mom being gone.  You never had anxiety or anything.”

Jensen took her hand.  

“I prayed, honestly.  I talked with Jared, and I had a therapist come to set sometimes.”  

“And you didn’t tell me?  Why?”  YN sat up and quizzically looked at her father.  

“Because you don’t need to worry about me, sweetheart.  I’m sorry I didn’t help you enough earlier on.  I guess I just didn’t do enough.”

“No.  Please, Dad.  You couldn’t have known.  Dr. Wiley told me that it’s normal for anxiety to happen years after Mom died.”

“He told you that?”

“Yeah.  Not your fault, Dad.”  She kissed him on the cheek.  

“Thank you, sweetheart.”  He tried to keep his tears at bay, but a few crossed the barrier onto his face.  

“Dad, it’s not your fault.  Don’t blame yourself for any of this.  It will be okay.  Dr. Wiley will help.”  YN smiled and wiped away the few tears that came down toward his chin.  

“You’re an awesome kid, you know that?”

“Yeah, but my dad is way cooler than me,” she chuckled.  

“Not true!”

“Yes, it is!”  YN gave her dad a belly laugh.  

_______

“Did the exercises help?”  Dr. Wiley asked YN via Skype on a Wednesday.

“A little.  My dad was there.  He calmed me down.  He also took me boxing.  It felt good.”

“Have you had any panic attacks since?”

“One last night.  But it wasn’t as bad.  The nanny helped me.  My friend Ally has been working out with me, so I think that’s why it wasn’t as intense.”

“Wow, that’s amazing YN.  I’m very proud of you.  Now that we have worked through your attacks, do you want to talk about anything else while we are in session?”

“My dad feels bad,”  YN frowned.

“About you having anxiety?”

“Yeah.  I told him it wasn’t his fault.  He calmed down after I told him it was normal to not feel the symptoms until years later.  My mom’s been gone for a few years now.  It makes sense.”

“So what did he say?”

“He said he was proud of me, but he hasn’t talked to me for a few days.” 

“Would it help if I talked to him?”  Dr. Wiley asked.

“Maybe.  I’m not sure.  I think he would like that.”

“Okay, we can definitely do that.”

________

A Family Attitude Series

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All You Need to Know about Adobe Experience Manager Sites Developer Expert Certification

Adobe Experience Manager Sites Developer Expert Certification Exam Credential, A in demand developer who used the pseudonym closeByuu closing ages acquaint a cheep thread excoriating the on-line forum Kiwi Farms for excessive terrorizing and adumbrated they had been activity to kill themselves. The thread became shared greater than a thousand times and lit up the gaming arena after experiences that near later died with the aid of suicide.

 Kiwi Farms bills itself as a,community dedicated to discussing eccentric americans, even though researchers who study extremist communities say it be infamous for degrading and afflictive its targets – regularly those they perceive as aberrant and a lot of of whom battle with existing mental health concerns.

 Wayne Beckett, founder of Hong-Kong-based mostly Datapower development, referred to near, whose full name changed into David Kirk Ginder, become an worker and confirmed Ginder s death to united states nowadays. Beckett pointed out Ginder, who identified as nonbinary, shared that they have been accepting crisis with threatening on-line, though did not absolutely name Kiwi Farms. Beckett mentioned the company offered to assist Ginder, however they noted they were coping with it.

 Kiwi Farms architect chaff Moon posted a statement on his web site abstinent responsibility, and referred to in an electronic mail to u . s . a . these days that,there is not any facts of any aggravation.

 consultants at the American association of Suicidology say it be inconceivable to set up a right away hyperlink amid poisonous on-line cultures and a suicide attempt or completed suicide. although, they accent that now not adequate attention is paid to terrorizing, aggravation and anti-informal behaviors on-line, and how they might also boost an individual s suicide possibility.

 immoral habits frequently looks in less adapted online forums such as Kiwi Farms, chan and chan however has seeped into more boilerplate systems, displaying up in tweets and direct letters, in addition to in feedback on news studies.

 From heroes to unexpectedly ... a villain : How on-line harassment became to accessible fitness officials

 The bar is low for the affable media business : right platforms are risky for LGBTQ neighborhood, new record says

 daaeccfeecaefed,toxic online cultures are seeking for to alienate or different certain communities whereas preserving exclusivity for the americans that approach towards them, said beau Pinkham, armchair of the American affiliation of Suicidology s Tech and improvements board. when these cultures are weaponized by using certain actors to goal selected people via doxxing or other strategies it can also be specially alienating and worrying for these afflicted individuals who once considered the online space a secure area for them.

 Ginder wrote of their cheep cilia on June that. every few months, it s whatever new. a new dox, a brand new cilia, a new tangent.

 This isn t the primary time Kiwi Farms has been accused of enjoying a task in a person s suicide. In , a transgender lady died by suicide in Portland, and pals informed The Oregonian the victim, Chloe Sagal, become pressured with the aid of Kiwi Farms.

 boilerplate media platforms even have an issue with on-line aggravation. Media character Courtney Stodden stated in may additionally she turned into confused on by way of Chrissy Teigen. Stodden mentioned Teigen would. about tweet about wanting me to acquire a mud nap but would abreast DM me and inform me to kill myself.

 throughout the pandemic, fitness affliction people tasked with speaking COVID health precautions had been the target of on-line harassment to the element of using some out of the personnel. TikTok influencers have announced out about rampant aggravation on the platform, and one architect advised BuzzFeed they have been advised to,accomplish suicide.

 i m very very indignant – livid with Kiwi Farms, Beckett informed united states of america nowadays. I just need them to appreciate the force of what they ve achieved. They definitely contributed to Ginder s demise. ... They have been fairly precious to us. How do you exchange the irreplaceable?

 hector Martin, a friend of Ginder s, talked about Ginder turned into time and again burdened by using Kiwi Farms clients on and off the discussion board, sometimes with feedback. alongside the traces of kill your self, even though Martin stated Ginder became most disturbed by using what they claimed had been Kiwi Farms makes an attempt to suicide bait one among their chums.

 us of a nowadays discovered a few posts on Kiwi Farms advancing Ginder and calling them aspersing slurs. afterwards information of their suicide, one consumer acquaint, This also-ran more advantageous accept an after birthday celebration the place his family unit dances over his corpse.

 April Foreman, a medical psychologist and board affiliate at the American affiliation of Suicidology, spoke of individuals who engage in trolling and harassment are also a population at high chance for suicide themselves. From a public health point of view, it behooves blockage experts to stronger understand the anti-warm behaviors at play.

 websites that ridicule others for amusement aren t tremendous on your wellness. besides the fact that you are now not suicidal, spending lots of time affianced in delinquent behaviors is generally now not respectable, Foreman referred to.

 greater than % of americans accept experienced on-line aggravation, in response to a Pew research core analysis posted in January, and % of those who pronounced severe afflictive behaviors mentioned their best recent event turned into extraordinarily or actual abashing.

 And in line with the ADL s “online hate and aggravation” report, % of respondents document that harassment become based on their identification.

 genial media is the most ordinary location of harassment, in accordance with Pew s survey, even though experts say it be abounding on much less mainstream websites reminiscent of Kiwi Farms and some of the extra regular. chans, which delight themselves on chargeless accent.

 Moon noted in his statement in accordance with Ginder s demise that. users on this site are average individuals who need to watch the trash television of the cyber web. With confined exception ... there is no need to peer people harmed.

 when a target to harass is recognized on a given discussion board, specialists say commonly users will broadcast them on other platforms. research shows victims of cyberbullying are at a superior risk than nonvictims of suicidal behaviors.

 The intention of these websites is trolling, aggravation and extremely severe terrorizing, spoke of Megan assist, a professor of laptop science at Elon institution and a senior social at the Southern abjection law center.

 Foreman mentioned people who participate in toxic on-line communities are pushed by means of complicated motivations.

 empathy and benevolence responses vary from adult to person. individuals with array B issues – characterized via a brush aside for others emotions and which include antisocial personality sickness and ambiguous personality ailment – battle with empathy and perspective and accept issue with answerability and regret.

 Some americans who demonstrate an absence of affinity may additionally accept a maladaptive acknowledgment to apathy. adorning experiences corresponding to abuse can additionally prohibit individuals from performing in prosocial ways.

 Ginder noted of their cheep thread that they d been suffering a very long time, however Kiwi Farms,fabricated the aggravation orders of consequence worse.

 daaeccfeecaefed,it s escalated from attacking me for being autistic to advancing and doxing my pals, and attempting to suicide allurement one other, just to get a reaction from me, Ginder wrote. The internet is not a game. it be true life. i m a true grownup. these items in fact hurts.

 Pinkham mentioned the accent of suicide has lengthy been current in communities online. Acronyms like KYS annihilate yourself are omnipresent, but with suicide baiting, the language is weaponized.

 A baby examine in , Suicide baiting in the cyber web era, analyzed suicide makes an attempt in front of webcams and found forty two% of audiences baited suicidal individuals.

 when you ve got somebody who s on the top of a alpine constructing and that they say they will jump and a huge army gathers, some people will suicide allurement, she said. This isn t alike just a digital habits. this is a human behavior, and that s the reason what bothers me, I believe, about one of the most in reality naïve annotation about hail media. ... it s as if they consider digital habits is so divergent, and that i don t know so that you can say that. In true lifestyles, individuals will suicide allurement and different individuals will say, please don t do it.

 abounding clients who retweeted Ginder s cilia expressed shock, unhappiness and horror at the ache expressed. abounding assailed Kiwi Farms for what they perceived because the website s complicity.

 Lauren Alexander, a senior communications supervisor at cheep, pointed out,cheep doesn t enable people to promote or encourage cocky-hurt on the carrier. Alexander mentioned cheep encourages users to reach out to any one announcement about suicide or self-hurt without delay. in the event that they don t believe relaxed, they can acquaintance to report threats of suicide.

 Martin referred to many americans close to Ginder approved to intervene when they saw their thread, however Ginder become acutely inner most and few people knew their home handle or mobilephone number. nobody became capable of find Ginder in time.

 In Ginder s cilia, they stated they,approved every thing to control their struggling, including treatment and therapy.

 The question is never, does Kiwi Farms cause suicide or not, Foreman said. this is an individual who may actual neatly were at risk for suicide, no matter if we are living in the digital era or now not, but, she spoke of, I don t feel any one would disagree that there are some actual violations of congenial norms and informal expectations.

 squire stated for those experiencing harassment online, it may also be useful to admire they don t seem to be by myself.

 it s a extremely inappropriate scene, and it needs a lot more examine, she noted. I feel a lot of people get definitely worked up concerning the agitated extremists ... but the harassment and trolling aspect of these websites are in reality harmful.

 In Ginder s thread, they noted they hoped eventually Kiwi Farms would be held liable for its culture of corruption.

 I pray that a person, at some point, will do whatever thing about that website, they mentioned. there may be too many people struggling, and no person appears to care because we are relative nobodies on-line.

 if you or someone you understand can be combating baleful thoughts, that you may name the U.S. countrywide Suicide prevention lifeline at --talk any time day or night, or babble online.

 disaster text band also provides free, , private guide by the use of textual content message to individuals in disaster after they dial .

 if you’re experiencing or witnessing on-line corruption, Pen the united states s field manual offers concrete concepts for the way to safeguard yourself and others.

 this article in the beginning appeared on us of a these days: How toxic online cultures, trolling and insulting make contributions to suicide

#Adobe Experience Manager Sites Developer Expert Certification Adobe Experience Manager Sites Developer ADOBE Experience Manager Sites Develo

[willidothefandango]

My big “Get Happy” stevetony rec list

So this is mostly my own personal go to list of fics for whenever I need a dose of happy to get by, so the criteria is pretty much just fics that make me happy. This post will probably edited with more recs in the future. (Crossposted in dreamwidth if I figure it out). Be sure to check the tags, and kudo and comment :

EDITED: 23/11/2017. I`ve been meaning to clean this up a little. Also added a couple of new fics! Newest ones are marked with a 🌺

Blank Slate - A Tony Stark Mystery by navaan 🌺

He doesn’t remember who he is or who his friends are, but he knows he’s in a Nazi prison and needs to get away. He doesn’t remember anything about Captain America either, but the man seems to be the kind of guy you trust.And apparently they share more history than meets the eye at first glance.

(Iron man Noir makes me so happy and navaan always writes such amazing stories. This was such a fun read that I didn’t want to finish it at all)

Terrible Idea by MountainRose and szzzt 🌺

Steve and Tony get captured by AIM. Steve can handle bad wine and worse monologuing, but when he gets back to the cell, Tony's not quite how he left him.It doesn't slow them down much.

(Oh wow this story. It’s like pure hurt/comfort. With Feral Tony and Steve, and the team that have to cope with them. I love this seriously. Can’t wait to re-read it once again)

Clan (of the Stranger and the Outcast) by greymantledlady 🌺

The Stranger holds out his huge hand towards Tony, palm outwards and upwards.Tony watches him warily, baring his teeth a little, not yet a snarl but a warning. But the Stranger simply holds his hand there, waiting, waiting; and his knife is lying on the ground between them, and there is no threat in the lines of his body.Tony lets out a little breath he’s been holding. And he’s trembling, but he slowly reaches his own hand out, tentative and uncertain, and brushes the fingertips against the Stranger’s calloused palm. And the Stranger smiles a little, his eyes soft, and wraps his fingers around Tony’s.~(The one where Neanderthal!Steve and Homo Sapiens!Tony imprint on each other like baby ducklings.)

(Awww this is so sweet! Steve is so protective and really, this idea is super cute and makes me grin just with remebering the fic)

Everything You Said I Ever by blue_jack  🌺

The first time Tony asks him out, Steve is . . . . well, appalled is as good a word as any. 

(Oh god I just love their relationship here. Tony flirts with Steve but does’t push him, and yes. I love it)

tie a ribbon 'round my finger (to remind me i'm yours) by  MusicalLuna 🌺

Steve has forgotten something important and he's not sure he's going to figure it out on time. 

(agh yes. Look I completely see Tony as the more romantic of the two, and Steve can be kind of, not all that great with that stuff in my head, and yes, this fits perfectly that headcanon. This just makes me happy, it does)

baby doll I recognize you’re a hideous thing inside by grue. 

"It's probably a prank," Tony says. He's got his suit on and is taking scans, he doesn't really think this is a prank, but the dear Captain looks like he's going to sneeze blood in his fury so downplaying is the way to go."It's a threat," Steve says. He's got that glare dialled up to eleven. Tony is pretty happy that it's not directed at him this time.

(This made me smile so much while reading it. And the bad guy is so perfect!)

Threshold Consciousness by magicasen. 

Tony's acting strangely—short, snappish, and dangerously distracted.Steve needs to figure out what's bothering his friend, and he'll do anything to help—up to and including (literally) falling into bed with him 

(I have this fic saved with a note that says “Magic makes them cuddle”. It makes me want to have a nap)

Dutch Courage by ballpoint. 

Tony's secret is revealed, Steve is at a loose end and well... they make out? 

 (Ultimates! So this is more on the bittersweet end, but it still has that softness, Ugh ultimate, all the pain. This one has that cozy feeling but a sort of bitter tangy end note)

Things you never knew by nightwalker. 

Tony needs to stop assuming the worst of his friends. Steve needs to get better at this emotional stuff. Clint... Clint needs to stop talking before he's had his coffee.

 (Oh man Tony is such a big sap and the sweetest and Steve has an internal monologue about how much he adores Tony and how soft and happy he looks. Everything is perfect)

It Might Almost Be Worth It by nightwalker. 

Tony couldn’t decide if this was more humiliating or frustrating, but either way it was easily the worst thing that had happened all week. 

 (This is just a great take on the whole sex pollen trope, with asexual Steve and not all that much sex really)

Repairing by nightwalker. 

Steve's used to expecting the unexpected, but after everything that's happened between them, he'd never expected Tony to turn to him for help. 

 (I have a weakness for stories that mention Tony’s alcoholism and how protective Steve gets of Tony. Hits right in the spot)

art reminds us (that our plans are meaningless) by theappleppielifestyle. 

Neither Rhodey or Pepper think much of Steve when they meet him.(Or, Steve and Pepper bond over art and Rhodey gets in a push-up contest with Captain America.) 

(A characther study of Steve and his relationship with Pepper and Rhodey. Just lovely)

Meet Your Heroes by Wordsplat. 

Tony gets rescued by a highly concerned, very handsy Captain America. This is confusing for a number of reasons. 

 (AHh Identity porn with established relationship! Tony getting kidnapped and cap being all handsy and Tony rejecting him because he already has a great boyfrined thankyouverymuch. I can re-read it over and over)

Captain America, Undone by laireshi. 

Steve thinks he can seduce Tony before Tony seduces him.He's very, very wrong.

(My note for this says “When you’re sad read this, it’s what I picture getting punched by the sun in the heart must feel like, but nicer”)

But I Still Feel You by penversuswords. 

Tony knows a lot of things about Steve. He knows that Steve is a stubborn pain in the ass, he knows that he's got a heart of gold, and he knows Steve would rather punch his way out of a tricky situation than talk himself out of it.But the one thing Tony knows the most: he's hopelessly, tragically in love with Steve.In which Tony is impulsive, Steve is confused, and they work it out in the end. Eventually.

(Tony blurts out a confession and Steve doesn’t know how to feel about it. So Tony is all heartbroken and Steve misses his best friend and nothing is right. Untill things are. Also Rumiko is perfect here)

The Naked Truth by magicasen. 

Steve and Tony get stranded in the Savage Land. Nudity and dinosaurs ensue.Also, did you know pterodactyls like shiny things?

(They’re in Savage land. Steve’s pov is great, just love it, and just picturing him running carrying Tony around naked and escaping a dino? The best thing to happen ever)

Ain’t No Drinking Man by archwrites. 

Steve’s skinny and asthmatic again, thanks to AIM. On the plus side, he can get drunk for the first time in seventy years. On the minus side, he kissed Tony, and now he’s skinny, asthmatic, and pining for his best friend. The first two conditions may be curable. The third is giving him some trouble. 

(Steve’s de-serumed and angry and snappy. He gets drunk. There’s some misunderstandings. It ends in a happy time for everyone)

I’ll Give You Gifts Until You Know My Name by Amuly. 

Mr. Stark is an extravagant gift-giver: he has the money for it, after all. As Iron Man, Tony has the opportunity to gift Steve even more presents that, while less expensive, are more heartfelt. Having a secret identity means Tony gets to have his cake and eat it too when it comes to showering Steve with presents.Until Steve starts developing feelings for his armored companion, and all the benefits of living a double life are turned on their head for Tony Stark.

(Identitty porn! Tony is cheeky and uses his double identity to give Steve all the gifts. Has me smiling every time I read it)

They Call Me Dad by fandomfrolics. 

The team's taken to calling Tony by a very strange nickname and he's a little afraid to find out why. 

(I looove team shenanigans. And this has all the rom-com goodness)

The Significance of Carbon Filters (when you work with Jessica Drew) by MountainRose. 

Tony inadvertently gets a full dose of Jessica's 'villain suppression' brand pheromones.Steve, Clint and Natasha keep him together afterwards.Original prompt: ANYTHING with sub Tony. Throws ALL the sub Tony prompts at you. Especially ones where he needs to be helped out. I’ve been looking for anything that covers him coming home from a bad experience, still under and needing help with one of the three (Clint, Steve or Nat) helping him back up

(I love this fic. I’ve re-read it tons of times. There’s something about Tony kind of out of it all subby and the team taking care of him that just makes me happy)

Dreaming Together by often_adamanta. 

Just because his future involves more penis than he’d expected doesn’t mean that Steve’s given up on happily-ever-after. 

(I like kids. I also know I won’t be having any. It’s nice to see a story that doesn’t equate happily ever after with kids. Also I relate to Tony kind of freaking out a bit)

Trophies for the Wall by Amuly. 

Steve's been in the 21st century for about a month now, and Mr. Stark has something he wants to show him. When Tony reveals the Captain America memorabilia room, Steve expresses his gratitude. 

(Set in a time close to when Cap meets Mr. Stark. With some flirting and cute bantering. Also bossy Steve, eager Tony and some hot action in Howard’s trophy room)

Treasure, Explosions and Romance by  runningondreams . 

There are three main ingredients to a good adventure. The fighting for your life and running away parts are just added fun. 

(For when you’re down, nothing better than noir!adventurer Tony with Steve having a huge crush on him and all the explosions. And flirting of course, all the flirting)

Ten Romantic Valentine’s Day Ideas for Busy People by BlossomintheMist. 

Steve and Tony do their best to celebrate Valentine's Day together. They're busy and it's not perfect, but it ends up surprisingly romantic all the same. 

(In my book everyone should read every single thing written by BlossomintheMist. It’s like the best hug or feeling cozy in a warm bath, but most of the times pornier, and better for it. She gives them this gentle intimacy, and can make you feel better in seconds. I fear the day the fics go away so like a dragon I hoard them and have them saved up in my computer. And mail. And kindle. And pendrive. You never know)

Vanilla Human Problems by manic_intent. 

Written for the prompt: "AU where Tony isn't Iron Man. He's a consultant for the avengers, so they still live in his tower, he still builds/improves their gear, but he never invented Iron Man. He's still close to the team, and is still a genius, so as the non-superhero member, he gets kidnapped. A lot. The team becomes increasingly protective of Tony." 

(Tony isn’t Iron man but works as a consultant for the avengers and still gets kidnapped. I don’t know what is about this story but every time it gives me fuzzy feelings. Just a sweet and happy thing to read)

Exactly under theStars by posyvanilla. 

Complete AU; takes place in a future in which humans have begun to colonize planets, and borrows heavily from situations in current Marvel canon. New Avengers meets Dark Reign meets Firefly. Norman Osborn is ruling the (not so free) world, Tony Stark is leading a motley crew of superheroes in an attempt to regain their freedoms, and Steve Rogers may not be as dead as everybody thought. 

(Space opera AU! Sometimes you just need a story with spaceships and stars and angst)

Let Yourself by BlossomintheMist. 

Shortly after Tony gets Extremis, he and Steve end up stranded in the Savage Land, with Extremis mysteriously not functioning and Tony barely functioning, either. Established relationship, set early in the first New Avengers run. This was inspired by a piece of art by Shaliara. 

(Savage Land and nudity and sick Tony and established relationship. And it’s by blossominthemist. You know it’s gonna be good)

signed, steeped, delivered by gyzym. 

Tony was pretty sure nothing like this had ever happened to him before. 

(Steve has a tea cozy and Tony freaks out. Like drinking a warm cup of tea)

And the Tough Guys Tumble by captainshellhead and vibraniumstark. 

"You're not getting better, are you?" Steve asked, reaching out to stop him.“No, I’m not.”What-if in which Tony doesn’t just simply reboot to get rid of the Harvester at the end of Captain America and Iron Man: One Night in Madripoor.

Heart Burn by nightwalker 

There was a dragon and now Tony's mostly naked and it's all Reed Richards' fault. 

(Ahh. They just write the sweetest fics, with all the pining. And there’s a dragon in this one!)

Variations in Modern Dance by Pookaseraph. 

There's only one thing in the world that Steve has decided the 21st century isn't alright with: not wanting to have sex. Sadly that seems to be the one thing the Serum couldn't fix, and it's playing hell with his ability to deal with his feelings for Tony. Thankfully Tony is a brilliant engineer, and he might be able to find a solution, or maybe he'll realize there's nothing there to fix. 

(Asexual Steve makes me happy. Asexual Tony makes me happy too. Really, this one only has ace Steve but Tony is so sweet with him. This feels like hugging your dog after not seeing him for a week, good and happy all around)

The Tower of Yesterday by manic_intent. 

Tony is the WWII hero waking up in the future. Iron Man Noir. 

(Noir!Tony is the WW2 hero that froze over and Steve the XXI century man that introduces him to the future. Noir!Tony is such a great Tony and the idea for this fic is perfect and done perfectly by the writer. I have to read it at least once every 6 months)

99 problems (and the dice ain’t one) by kellifer_fic. 

Tony's life is almost perfect. He lives in a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), has a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things and a regular Friday night campaign. If his best friend, Steve Rogers, hadn't moved away to New York and left him behind, then perfection would've been achieved.Tony can roll with the punches though and he's almost all the way over that little bump in the road (shut up Bruce, he totally is) when Steve moves back, looking taller and broader and more confident than ever and Tony's left with a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things, a regular Friday night campaign and the uncomfortable realization that maybe he's in love with his best friend and has been since he was sixteen.

(It has D&D and a bit of a reclusive Tony that doesn’t do great with change and feelings. It has a light feeling and had me smiling all along)

The More Things Change by cookinguptales. 

Steve's not entirely sure how seduction works nowadays, but he's learned from the best. 

(Tony helps Steve seduce the persone he likes. Also Tony happens to be the person that Steve likes. Things work out well for everyone. It has a fluttery feeling to it)

Extinction by valtyr. 

The first time Tony met Captain America, he was riding a dinosaur. After that, things got weird. 

(Everything valtyr writes is amazing, but this has a special place in my heart. There’s a scene with stars that is just incredible. And yeah, it’s a Night at the Museum Au)

How To Excel At Supervillainy (and lose your heart to America) by Zekkas. 

And that's how Tony's supervillainy hobby got way way way complicated. 

(My note on this says: “Tony is a villain and cap is a hero and they still fall in love. With the appearances of DrunkTony, OverworkedTony and AmIhallucinatingAgain?Tony“)

New Traditions by nightwalker. 

Tony's starting to think that tackling the whole teamwork thing, the sobriety thing and the holidays thing all at once might have been overly ambitious. AKA: Steve and Tony throw the first Annual Avengers Non-Denominational Winter Holiday Party. 

(I kind of love stories that mention Tony’s alcoholism, because it’s something that he struggles with and hurts and he tries to be better, to be a hero despite his flaws, or maybe because of them. Here Toy pushes himself, Steve tries to help, and there’s a horse with too many legs. Utterly fantastic and like warm soup for your soul.)

Get Some Now by sineala. 

Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can't figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren't helping matters any. 

(Choosing a single fic by sineala is like choosing a single chocolate: I don’t want to and I’d rather eat the whole box in one sitting. So go read them all and read some of her Eagle fics while you’re there too. Having said that, when I think of happy fics this is the one that pops up. The picture of Tony being sorrounded by kitties is just too much, it makes me so very happy)

————————————————————————————————–

Don´t know what to comment on a fic? Fear not! Here are 4 templates you can use:

-UGGHHHH

-Love this!!!!

-I really like the part with _____ and _______. You´re amazing, thanks for writing this.

-I wish I could use the neuralyser from MIB to erase my memory of ever reading this fic and THEN READ THIS AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD. I’m in a puddle of joy and lack human words to explain how much I love it and will now make an idol of gum and proclaim you my god

#stevetony #stony #fic rec #rec list #long post #superheroes are rad #There you go! That's much better and far more organized than before. #The first version was pretty much a list of fics I put on a draft post and put comments so I could find them easily in the future #And then I just posted it pretty much like that. So yeah messy

[ohstardust]

I’ll Be Seeing You

REQUESTS: 

1. Can you do a Collins imagine?😻

2. Maybe after the war they meet?

A/N; Okay, so this is waaay longer than I expected it to be. I think I fell in love with Collins all over again. It’s 01:35am and I cannot be judged for my imagination at this time of the morning. Good god.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In late 1945, there had become much cause for celebration on British shores. With the ending of the war, civilisation returning as much to normal as possible and soldiers returning home to their families, it was a time to appreciate all that you still had and clung onto.

Unfortunately, with the good, often comes the bad. The sadness and sorrow hanging heavy in everyone’s hearts, the lost loved ones and the devastation of everyone’s lives being torn apart. With triumph also comes loss. A statement and a deep feeling that you were all too familiar with.

“There’s so much comfort to be had knowing we aren’t alone in our losses, but how horrific is it that the vast majority of us have been personally affected in some way?” You debated to the bartender, swirling your double measure of whiskey around your glass, a feeble attempt to drown out the memories the date brought, “If that’s the only common ground I can find with someone, I’m not interested,”

“As sad as it may be Miss, we can’t undo our history, we now have to rely on each other to continue living - especially for those we’ve lost,”

“I suppose you’re right, it’s normal to feel tremendously lonely though, isn’t it?”

“Without a shadow of a doubt,” The cracked Scottish voice travelled from the right of you, sounding as utterly defeated as you felt.

You let out a soft sigh before tilting your head to face the stranger that had inserted himself into your mild ramblings. His slightly overgrown blonde hair covered a fair portion of his face, only a dimple in his cheek and a hard set lined mouth were clear to you.

“Does it sound too cliché to tell you that hearing you say that has slightly lessened my loneliness?” You questioned, glancing at his slumped figure once more before bringing your glass back to your lips for another sip.

You felt his gaze focus on you as you placed your glass onto the bar, suddenly all too aware that you had struck his attention despite intending to spend the evening drowning your sorrows – alone.

Fixing your attention onto the man beside you, you were able to detect features that could only have been hardened by war, soft looking skin and piercing blue eyes that lightly set you on edge.

“If I were anyone else I’d probably be inclined to say ye’, but given it’s me I can’t help but agree with ye,” He shared a soft smile alongside his honesty and you were completely taken aback. It had been so long since a man had looked at you so kindly with such understanding given the circumstances of the world’s affairs in the recent years.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N,” You stated, lifting your glass once again but in a mock salute, a smile dancing on your face.

“Jack Collins, but everyone just calls me Collins,” He replied, mimicking your gesture.

“Dennis, same again for this gentleman here, please and one for me.”

Collins started to protest until you handed over the money in exchange for the drinks and clinked your glasses together, “To new friends who ease the ache.”

“To beautiful women,” He smirked, his eyes twinkling.

“To handsome men,” You took a large gulp of your drink before turning back to the man, sliding off your bar stool and holding out your hand to him.

Collins turned to look at you questioningly before understanding your intention. He shook his head lightly before letting out a small laugh. His drink was drained in seconds and he clasped your hand into his, following your lead into an empty spot in the bar. 

He placed his free hand on your lower back as yours rested on his shoulder and you began to sway in time with the soft music playing around you.

“I love Frank, his voice is so beautiful. I can momentarily lose myself in his music and for those few minutes I feel that I can be anywhere but here. I feel like I’m back home with my family, with all that laughter and love.”

Jack pressed himself closer to you and rested his head beside yours.

“Where is home?”

“Lancashire, somewhere in the midst of the district, you may be familiar. North West of England,” Nostalgia was flying over you in waves and you were swallowing back the tears, “Have you always lived in Scotland?”

“Yeah, apart from past few years, I’ve remained in the same town. Born and bred in these parts, ‘ve found no reason to leave as of yet.”

“What was your position?” Collins remained quiet for a moment, memories creeping into his mind that he’d fought so hard to lock away, to never think of again.

“Royal Air Force, Spitfire pilot.”

“Thank you,” You whispered, resting your head on his shoulder, the meaning evident.

“How did you wind up in this small town then?”

Your eyes slipped shut, you were so completely at ease with the man holding you that the words flowed, “War killed my father and both of my older brothers between ‘42 - ‘44, my mother couldn’t cope where we were living, the memories too much for her to handle. She was raised in these parts so it seemed natural for her to return, and with nowhere to go, I had no other option to follow.”

Collins pulled his head away from yours, both of his hands resting on your cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the few teardrops that had spilled, “I’m so sorry for all of that loss and pain, I can’t imagine losing that many people so near and dear to me. Selfishly I’m glad that ye followed ye mother though, without that we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Without sparing a second thought, you raised up onto your toes and press a firm kiss to the mans lips, completely lost in the feeling of his presence and his comfort.

He responded instantly, his left hand cradling your head and he passionately kissed you.

You had never believed in love at first sight, the idea seeming laughable in your mind, but at this moment in time you were a firm believer in falling in love with another over the course of an evening.

When you feel at your lowest, life tends to have an interesting way to help you regain your happiness. And right now, your happiness solely lay in the form of one Jack Collins.

#collins imagine #dunkirk imagine #jack lowden #jack lowden imagine #collins x reader

[knightofbalance-13]

Get Your Crap Out Of My Tag

http://myrtenasterrose.tumblr.com/post/165531891579/ptsd-the-right-and-wrong-way-greys-anatomy-vs

Yeah, this is NOT Crtq at all.

Rewatching Grey’s Anatomy, I realized that it was the perfect show to compare/contrast how PTSD was handled to RWBY.

Except Grey;s Anatomy is a show with vast resources of writers, actors, time and money, backed by a major network and live action whereas RWBY is made by a group of people that are barely above indie level, have extremely limited time, money and writers and is animated so there is a lot more factors to worry about than in live action. So comparing these two ISN’T a good idea.

I’m skipping most of the Grey’s anatomy parts because I don’t watch the show but I will address anything that comes up with RWBY.

Like here:

While this may seem like a larger scale trauma than Yang losing her arm in RWBY, it’s only because Grey’s had its trauma affect multiple characters, not just one. If you look at the trauma each character experienced on an individual level, Yang faced just as much trauma as they did.

Still, Grey’s Anatomy was able to pull off accurately showing PTSD for multiple characters while RWBY couldn’t even handle one.

So you say that it doesn’t matter that Grey had multiple people affected...but then say it does matter that multiple people are affected. Nice double standard: It only applies if it supports me.

This all happened in Grey’s in the two-part finale of season 6. During the first few episodes of season 7, we see how everyone is coping after the event. We know several weeks have passed since the shooting, just as we can assume how much time passed after Yang’s trauma. The only evidence we get to Yang’s PTSD, however, is one nightmare, one flashback from a broken glass, and one act of hesitance in accepting her new arm.

And here’s another problem: Grey’s Anatomy is complete, RWBY is not. The very instant that RT touches again, something they have a HISTORY of doing, your point here becomes invalid. Well, MORE invalid because RWBY also shows that a lot of time has passed since then, several MONTHS in fact and Yang’s condition is shown in both Epsiode 3 and Episode 4. You also ignore her talk with her father, Port and Oobleck which was centered around her depression and fear of going back into the real world so...yeah, you kind of look like a liar here.

Meanwhile, in Grey’s, one character has a complete mental breakdown, one refuses to take the elevator anymore, one we are told repeatedly wakes up during the night screaming from nightmares, and one sees the ghosts of bullet holes in the walls, even after they had been plastered over.

And Yang was completely changed as a person, was terrified of doingw hat she loved, she woke up FROM nightmares and was triggered by a broken glass. The only way RWBY fails here is that this is just one person but as you showed: That shouldn’t matter.

Christina’s trauma is probably handled even better, because it shows the complete deterioration of her character. She is probably one of the “toughest” characters on the show, like Yang. She was a surgery junkie, and lived to cut, just like Yang lived to be a huntress. Yet, after operating on her best friend’s husband while being held at gunpoint, she no longer can enter an OR without being triggered. Her trauma is so bad that she even considers if she could love herself while not being a surgeon, and questions whether Owen–her now-husband–would continue to love her as well. She is also pushed by Owen and others back into the OR too soon, and as a result, truly breaks by collapsing to the floor of the OR in the midst of surgery after a fellow surgeon knocks over a tray of instruments.

Ah huh, and Yang is afraid to fight, lacks confidence, is meek and easily starled, vunerable and quick to cold fury. All unlike what she was before and mirroring your example. Funny how you don’t mention this, almost like your point doesn’t work in context and with truth.

This is where Grey’s and RWBY differ–and it once again comes down to “show, don’t tell;” something I’ve already addressed in my “Jaune vs. Pyrrha dying” post.

Except you have shown to ignore the show part of RWBY when you never talked about the above, as wella s ignoring the tell since you completely ignored Episode 4. SO less like “Show don’t tell” and more like “I’mma gonna stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes while watching RWBY.”

To accurately depict PTSD, we need to see the effects it has on the characters, and what we are shown from Yang simply doesn’t cut it. While a nightmare, flashback, and refusal are accurate responses to trauma, it’s over so fast for Yang that we question whether she was truly ever affected at all. It takes multiple 40+ minute episodes for Christina alone to regain her confidence–never mind the other characters–whereas we are only given less than ten minutes of Yang’s suffering in total.Â

And yet Yang was able to display all the same symptoms as Christine and get over them, while being made on a much smaller budget, by less experienced people and in a medium that requires more effort to achieve the same result all in a much smaller timespan. Not to mention since you have shown a bias against RWBY, your word here doesn’t count for anything, compounded on how you ignore both timeskips in Yang’s story: First being months at a time and second being several weeks showing that she took even longer to get over than Christine. 

Funniest part about this thou: you MAY have hade a point with the showing part but since you have showna a bias against RWBY, you can’t be trusted again. Funny how manipulation of facts fucks you over huh?

For RWBY to have accurately pulled off PTSD, much more time and emphasis needed to be given to Yang. Grey’s Anatomy proves that you can pull of PTSD representation in the time slots you are given, and if Shonda Rhimes was able to do this for multiple characters so well, I don’t see why CRWBY couldn’t as well for just one

Less time, less money, less writers, less experience, more pressure. That easy to think of.

Yang should have been shown to have been suffering from nightmares on more than just one occasion. We didn’t even need to see each nightmare, just her waking up crying, screaming, or gasping; or even just her fighting off sleep in order to avoid dreaming. More resistance should have been shown to not only putting on her new arm, but using it as well. Fighting is who Yang is, just as surgery is who Christina is. Yet, Christina refuses time and time again to go into an OR, while suddenly Yang is wearing and using her new arm with no struggle, doubt, or guilt. Compared to Christina, Yang simply glossed over her PTSD in favor of moving on with the plot.

Except that she stated to have been training with her father for weeks as shown in the very first scene of Episode 9. All this does is prove your post cannot be taken seriously nor can it be used for any critical analysis. Especially as you admitted she resisted but now Yang doesn’t resist: because now you want to make RWBY look worse.

I realize that not everyone may agree with Grey’s Anatomy depiction of PTSD like I do, but from my critical standpoint, Grey’s did a much better job of depicting the disorder. The acknowledgement in RWBY, meanwhile, was almost non-existent.

But that’s just me.

IE this my personal, biased opinion that holds no weight as I will ignore facts and outright lie to prove my point, showing that I HAVE no point. In fact, all you did was remind me of how good the body language is in RWBY so thanks, all you did was reinforce the show.

#rw/de bullshit #myrtenasterrose

[looselucy]

MA / 6889 words

Childhood friends - Dunkirk Harry

Part One

Unknown number: Little Lulu Lamb, is that you? Lulu: Who the hell is this? Unknown number: Your mum passed me your number. Although the reply hadn’t exactly answered my question, I thought I might have known who it was, just because of the name. Little Lulu Lamb. It was something I hadn’t heard for years. I scowled down to my phone, because although I’d taken a guess, I manged to talk myself out of it very quickly, given it had been years since we last spoke. He’d gone off and auditioned for The X Factor, and then the boy I’d grown up with just wasn’t around anymore. I hadn’t even seen him since, and I wasn’t sure it was because we’d just missed running into each other, or because we’d never really tried to see each other. All I could think was that it couldn’t possibly be him. Why would he bother getting in touch now?

Lulu: Can’t trust Susan Lambert with anything. Unknown number: Is it true you live in Swanage now? Lulu: I’m not feeling too comfortable about revealing my location to a stranger… Unknown number: Let’s just say I went back to Holmes Chapel, bumped into your mum, she grabbed my cheeks, like she always has, and we got to chatting. “Fuck!” I squealed, throwing my phone away from me as though holding it was burning my hand, because it was him. It was actually him. I continued to curse away to myself, because I didn’t exactly know how to deal with what was happening. He’d become a bit of an enigma at some point over the years, this boy I’d known growing up suddenly becoming this world-wide celebrity. Even when he was back in Holmes Chapel, most of the time he was like a ghost. There’d be whispers of him being back, but hardly ever any proof. The boy I’d once known became the man I didn’t. Eventually, I picked my phone back up, unsure what to say, so I just went with the obvious. Lulu: Harry Styles. Unknown number: That’s Haz to you. I quickly saved his number, wanting to kick myself for getting so giddy over this miniscule interaction, but there was something so overwhelming about it. I didn’t know whether to speak like I knew him or ask the boy questions about his career, his life, what he was doing, like I was bloody interviewing him. It was like he was my friend, but at the same time, he wasn’t. Lulu: Are you stalking me? As soon as I’d sent that, I slapped my phone against my face, furious that I’d tried to crack a joke because there wasn’t a chance in hell it was funny. Haz: You’re notoriously hard to track down. Lulu: Me? That’s rich. Haz: You are! Do you ever go home anymore? Lulu: I live here now! (Yes, I live in Swanage.) Haz: Well I’ve had some time off, so I’ve been up North a lot (where you belong) and I was hoping I might have bumped into you. Lulu: Sorry to let you down. Although I was still a bit shaky, and in shock, our texting had rapidly become a natural flow. I was texting quickly, and his replies were coming through just as fast, and I could picture him, sitting there with his phone in his hand, just waiting for my replies so he could bite back, always trying to be the wittier one, the funnier one. It didn’t seem like he’d changed too much, regardless of everything. Haz: Here’s the thing, I’m going to be in Swanage over the next few days. We’re doing some filming. I figured it would just be a waste if we don’t see each other. It’s fine if you’re busy, but if not, I think it’d be really cool to catch up. I got all nervous again. Just when I’d felt myself calming down, he suggested the two of us actually meeting and I was left stranded for something to say. Of course I wanted to say yes, but I was bloody terrible with conversations at the best of times. I’d get all nervous and stay quiet, and suddenly I was speaking to a boy I hadn’t seen for six years and considering seeing him again and it seemed so ludicrous. I could meet him, yeah, easy, but could I talk to him? Totally different question. But I couldn’t pass it up. Lulu: That sounds good. Lucky for you, I’m free as a bird. Haz: Lucky me. I don’t know if being in public is the best idea, so, would you be okay with rekindling our friendship at your house? Lulu: My humble abode is just a flat, unfortunately. Will that suffice? Haz: Hm. I’m not sure. I’ll judge it when I get there. If it’s subpar I’ll just leave, is that fair? Lulu: Seems fair to me. I sent over my address, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it was Harry I was texting, and that I was actually going to see him again. I lived down the road from him when we were growing up, and one day I’d crashed my bike outside his house, and I was crying with blood on my knees, and he ran out, first-aid box in hand, and helped me. That was beginning of our friendship. We’d play out on our bikes together, walk to and from school together, whenever he saw me in the corridors walking to and from different classes, he always tried to pull the bobble out of my hair. We’d had a really simple friendship, one that I’d cherished. Haz: So I’ll see you tomorrow? Late afternoon probably, we should be done filming by then. Lulu: Sounds great. This is weird. Haz: It is a bit. Looking forward to it though! I gotta go, jumping on the plane now. Nice to speak with you after all these years, Little Lulu Lamb. Lulu: A pleasure. See you tomorrow.

Part Two

I was sat rigidly on my sofa, tapping my feet, trying to control my breathing, but the thought that Harry Styles would be knocking on my door at any minute was making it incredibly difficult for me to relax. I kept glancing to the clock on my wall, wishing I could shush the seagulls that were causing bloody havoc outside my windows, unable to concentrate on the music I had playing because I knew he was going to be turn up soon and it was too much. It was all far too much for me to handle. I could have been meeting up with any of my old friends from Holmes Chapel who I had lost touch with over the years, and I’d be nervous. But I was meeting with the one who’d made a name for himself and become this untouchable person and he was going to be there in my home and I was freaking out. When there was finally a knock on the door I almost collapsed. “Okay. Fuck.” I whispered to myself, getting to my feet but spinning on the spot a few times. “Shit fuck shit bastard damn fuck shit OKAY!” I scurried over to the door, hoping that by the time I opened it I’d be calm, and able to act like a normal human being. Impossible. I opened my door and he was there, covered in dirt, hair wet and slicked back, smirk just about lifting his crooked smile, his right arm held above his head so he could lean against the doorframe in the outside corridor, looking down to me with those piercing green eyes. He’d grown up so much, and I’d seen a lot of it through pictures and TV appearances, but none of that compared to the real thing. He was so much taller than me now even though we’d always been a similar height when I knew him, and his cheeky grin had become this knowing smirk, and I was flustered, automatically. Eventually, I found the stamina to smile back up to him, watching his eyebrows drop. “Have you grown at all since I last saw you?” His smirk lifted even further, revealing his teeth. “Fuck you!” I gasped. “I mean… probably not, but still, fuck you!” “So tiny!” He teased. “Oh my god you’re still the worst!” I giggled. Laughing, he stepped in and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a sweet cuddle as I threw my arms around him too, the two of us swaying from side to side a little bit, the embrace only lasting a few moments. “Oh shit!” He cried, distancing from me. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot I’m totally covered in fucking dirt.” He looked at my face with caring eyes, before pressing his thumb at my cheek, wiping gently. “You’re all good.” He’d always been confident and charming, and I shouldn’t have been surprised that those characteristics had amplified as he got older. I wasn’t sure how well I’d be able to cope with him. “Why are you covered in dirt?” I asked, stepping aside, and shutting the door behind him. “Well, I was going to have a shower before I came, but the fans um… they were all outside the hotel and I just didn’t really have the energy. So, I came straight here.” He was wearing a baggy grey hoodie, some black skinny jeans and black boots, looking around my flat with a small smile, glancing through the glass windows onto my balcony. There was a small table and a couple of chairs out there, the view of the sea crashing upon the shores was perfect, and the seagulls were still fucking noisy. “I have a shower you can borrow.” I pointed my thumb over my shoulder. “Towels and everything.” “Towels and everything?” He repeated back to me with a sarcastic twist to his tone. “Someone’s doing very well for themselves.” “I own three whole towels.” I tweaked one brow. “Excluding tea-towels.” “How many tea-towels?” “Two.” “Well, you’re living the dream.” He shrugged casually. “I like to think so.” I had a fast moment of realisation, that I was actually doing well, managing to talk to him like a normal person, and that quickly stopped me in my tracks. He was smiling down to me, his overbearing grin still something that took over his entire face, and I lost myself. He was kind of easy to get lost in. He’d been in my flat for a matter of moments and I was completely wrapped up in him, bouncing off of him. It was like it just rapidly dawned on me that it was Harry Styles I was talking to, and suddenly my throat went tight. “So… Uh, my shower is… just through there… through my bedroom.” I swallowed. “You can use it if you want.” “I promise I’ll be a better guest in like, five minutes.” He smiled, unaware that internally I was melting. “Just let me get cleaned up.” “It’s okay. Take your time.” He winked at me before scooting past my frame and into my bedroom, completely confident and blind to my inner turmoil. He’d always been confident, and full of himself in the best way possible, even when we were young. I didn’t think he could ever find himself feeling awkward or stumped within a conversation, because he could always pull it back with that undeniable charm. I think I remained screwed to the same spot, trying to find my sanity until I heard that he’d turned the water on, and that’s when I finally moved, busying myself and trying not to think about him being in my shower. I pottered aimlessly around my flat for the entire time he was showering, flicking the kettle on and off numerous times and trying to find a way to occupy my body and my mind, questioning how the hell we were even going to spend our evening. If I’d had half a braincell I would have thought of something we could do that was more entertaining than just watching a film or something else just as benign, but I’d been completely unprepared. He’d knocked me off my feet the second he’d text me and I still hadn’t managed to get back up. When I heard the shower shut off I immediately jumped onto my sofa, attempting to act as nonchalant as possible, turning up my music just slightly from my phone which linked to the speakers. It was then that I made the mistake of looking towards my bedroom door, purposefully spying through the gap. I caught his profile, the towel wrapped low around his hips, and I took my eyes upwards, biting my lips as they ran up his toned body, then seeing him stroke a hand through his short hair. “Mother fucker.” I whispered to myself. Thankfully, he moved, meaning he was out of vision whilst he dressed himself, which was the only thing that could have possibly stopped my gawping. He left my room a few minutes later, unfortunately fully dressed, and squeaky clean, and I was pretending to text, trying to look uninterested. “You’re a star.” He said, jumping down on the opposite side of the sofa to me. I tucked my feet up, smiling across to him, and there was only one question I could think of that kind of summed everything up without feeling like I was just being intrusive, or asking the wrong thing. “How’ve you been?” I asked, the question casual and completely not at the same time. He grinned, totally understanding the poorly hidden implications on my question, also putting his feet up on the sofa, his toes almost touching mine. “I’ve been really good.” He said, a beautiful honesty in his voice. “Things have been… busy, since I last saw you, but… amazing.” “So, pretty quiet then?” I sneered. “Really quiet.” He joined the joke. “I’ve been laying low for a few years.” “You’ve done well. I’ve heard barely anything about you.” He smiled down to his lap, pulling at the bottom of his hoodie, and I liked that he could joke about it. I liked that I didn’t have to pretend that I didn’t already know about his life and what he’d been doing. We could just joke about it, ease the situation. “What about you?” He sighed. “How the fuck did you end up in Swanage?” “I went to Bournemouth Uni,” I giggled. “And… I dunno. I guess I just liked the change. I liked being somewhere different. I’d visited here a few times and… I liked it. So when uni finished, it was like… the perfect time to take a risk. I thought… I best do it now before I get stuck somewhere I don’t wanna be.” “A bit selfish.” He shrugged. “Selfish?” “Yeah. I missed seeing you around back home! Did you think of me once?” He tried not to crack a smile. “I’m not sure I took you into consideration, to be honest.” “I knew it. Selfish.” I kicked him with another shy giggle, and it felt like we were just kids again, poking fun at each other and hardly able to have a serious conversation. We flowed like that though, it was what we were familiar with when it came to one another. “Sorry.” I rolled me eyes. “Are you happy though?” He asked. “Being here and stuff? Does it make you happy?” “Very.” He grinned again, and I could tell it was just nice for him to hear I was doing well, in the same way it was nice for me to hear it from him. Away from cameras and the media and all that bullshit, he’d said he was happy, that he’d been doing well ever since he took off when he was sixteen. We were both happy, and even sharing that happiness in the simplest of ways, was nice.

Part Three

“I did not!” I argued, almost spilling my red wine. “Is that genuinely what people thought?” “Hands down. I believed that to be a fact until this very day.” He held up his free hand as a sign of honesty, his other hand clasped around his glass that hovered before his lips. “JAMES TURNER WAS NOT MY FIRST KISS! JAMES TURNER ATE CRAYONS! HE ATE THEM! WHY WOULD I KISS HIM?” “That’s just what I heard.” “Matthew Lord was my first kiss! You remember him? He didn’t eat crayons!” I finally informed him of the truth, after years of him and everyone else from our school thinking I’d shared my first kiss with a boy who once killed a bird out on the schoolyard. “The rumour mill was cruel to you.” Harry’s smirk creeped upwards. “I’m very sorry.” Our legs had intertwined at some point, a half-eaten tub of ice cream left abandoned on my coffee table, Harry on one side of the sofa and me on the other, facing one another. We were working our way towards the end of a second bottle of wine, Simon & Garfunkel playing as soft background music. I’d leant him some pink fluffy socks, and with our legs all tangled in the middle of the sofa, I could feel him softly brushing his foot against the outside of my thigh, back and forth, soothing me. “I can’t believe everyone we went to school with thinks that I kissed James Turner! And I’ve only just now learnt about it.” “Some people will take that fake knowledge to their grave.” He widened his eyes. “Fuck off.” I kicked him gently, watching him over the rim of my glass as I took another sip. “So who was your first kiss?” “Amy Miller.” He then grew a shy smile. “Really? Fuck, she was really pretty. Y’know she works at Disney now as one of the princesses?” He nodded, looking down to his drink as he took another hefty swig, scrunching his nose momentarily. I didn’t know that he’d done that whilst considering whether or not he should tell me what he was about to. It was the shyest I’d seen him looking all night. Fuck, it was the shyest I had ever seen him look. “I wanted you to be my first kiss.” He shrugged, not looking at me. I think he was expecting me to have something to say. I think that Harry thought that I’d be able to make a joke out of what he’d told me and twist it around so we could both laugh about it, but I hadn’t been able to hurdle the honesty within his voice. He wasn’t joking. He wasn’t just saying that. Our silence felt eternal, but Harry quickly realised that I wasn’t able to make a joke, so once again, his charisma shined through, leaving our stunned silence behind. “But then I found out that you kissed James Turner and I thought I might not be your type.” I let out a stammered laugh, kicking him again, and then going back to trying to wrap my head around what he’d told me. I downed the rest of my wine, and immediately reached for the bottle so I could fill my glass again, and Harry quickly mirrored my actions, holding his glass towards me once it was empty so I would fill his too. “You wanted me to be your first kiss?” I eventually swallowed once our glasses were full. “I did.” He admitted again, and the second time, it knocked the wind out of me. “I had a bit of… A bit of a crush on you.” “Fuck.” I gasped subconsciously. “I… I didn’t know that.” “No. I kept that one pretty quiet.” He breathed. “Until now.” “There are a lot of truths coming out tonight.” I finally managed to joke. “I know. It’s intense.” Intense felt like an understatement. He’d always been cute, the girls at school used to flock to him, with those powerful dimples and that baffling cheek he possessed. When he was in his band all the girls used to go to all the tiny shows they did, stand at the front and scream for him like he was a rock-star long before he really was. I would have been lying if I said that I hadn’t felt the pull of his magnetism, but it hadn’t even been an option that I could be the north to his south pole. The small crowd of girls at those lousy gigs had turned into thousands of girls screaming at arenas and stadiums across the world, and yet there he was, legs locked with mine and pink splattered across his cheeks, admitting to me that he had wanted me, of all people, to be his first kiss. “I went home for New Years.” I cleared my throat, feeling a need to change the conversation before I physically fainted. “I thought I might see you but… you weren’t about.” “No, I… I was busy.” “I saw.” I smiled, because I think everyone had seen the pictures of Harry on that yacht. “She’s beautiful.” “Yeah, she’s a nice girl.” “How long have you been together?” “We’re not together.” He said quite firmly. “That’s not… happening anymore.” “Oh!” I gawped. “I’m sorry.” “I’m not.” He grinned. Once more, the only thing I could do was drink much more of my wine than my delicate stomach was prepared for, seeing that he was finally coming back round, and that my flustered state was making him smug as all hell. I reached for the wine, seeing that the bottle only had a few sad drops left in the bottom. “I think I definitely need some more wine.” I heaved breathlessly, sparking a cute giggle from Harry. “I think we both do.” He said, a fucking sparkle in his eyes that was slowly driving me crazy.

Part Four

I’d never known someone be so dramatic over such a minor cut. Harry had been singing along to Eye Of The Tiger, using an empty wine bottle as his microphone, and of course when he’d leapt onto the sofa in an attempt at being dramatic, he’d dropped it, and of course, it had smashed, and of course, I had cut myself whilst trying to tidy the mess. It was literally miniature, and was only accompanied by a slight sting and a microscopic amount of blood, but as Harry held my hand and under my tap, letting the cold water beat down on what could barely be considered and injury, he was treating me as though I’d nearly lost a limb. “Harry, I’m fine!” I laughed. “I’m sooooooo sorry.” He apologised for what felt like the millionth time. “I just… I get so into it. Honestly. I once sang that song on karaoke in a bar in Tokyo and got so into it, I ended up whacking a little old lady in the face.” “What?” “Flailing arms, too many drinks, please don’t ask.” I giggled away to myself, trying to retract my hand but he yanked it back under the water, his brows furrowed as he checked over the small cut. “I think it’s time to call it a night.” I smiled, reaching my spare hand and turning off the water. “Can you forgive me?” He asked, voice low, altering our wet hands so that his fingers slot between mine. After more jokes, more laughter and more reminiscing and more wine, I was suddenly finding it easier to voice my thoughts rather than keep them trapped within my timid smiles. “Haz, why do you insist on trying to make me blush?” His very best smile was the one that appeared when he was somewhere between bashful and cocky. He’d drop his head and crinkle his nose at the same time as looking completely self-assured and it made my stomach flip every single time. “I like the colour.” He said, lifting his eyes to mine. I rolled my eyes, untangling my hand and forcing my smile back to the point where it was painful. I grabbed one of my two tea-towels and dried my hands before throwing at him, knowing that his eyes followed me around the room as I moved to turn off the music and just clear things up a little, putting the ice cream back in the freezer and our empty glasses on my kitchen counter. “Thank you for having me.” He said, dropping the tea-towel down by the sink. “Hopefully, the crowd outside my hotel will have given up by now.” “You… You can stay here, if you want?” I blurted. “Wh-what?” “On the sofa!” I muttered with speed. “You can stay on the sofa, because it’s late and then… y’know… you wouldn’t have to take photos or anything.” “Are you sure? I don’t want to get in the way.” “You’re tipsy as hell and you must be exhausted. I’m doing you a favour.” “You’re amazing.” He sighed. “I’d love to stay.” Quietly cursing to myself, I scurried off into my bedroom to get the spare sheets so he could wrap up warm for the night, hating myself for being such a bumbling fool and always shooting myself in the foot. I returned a few minutes later with his things, feeling composed until I saw that he was pulling the hoodie he’d been wearing off his body, lifting it over his head and revealing his perfect, toned frame to me again. I didn’t have to spy through the gap in my door this time around, he was right there in front of me, his hair dishevelled and messy once his arms were back down by his side, his eyes back on me. I managed to drag my eyes away from him and arrange his things, making my sofa look better than any hotel bed ever had. Well, the hotels in Swanage at least. I looked back up to him once it was prepared. “So… I guess I’ll see you in the morning.” “You will.” I was backing into my bedroom, but I noticed he was following, taking small footsteps that tracked my own, the distance between us remaining exactly the same until I was finally in my room, at which point I stopped. Yet Harry continued his journey, not stopping until he was stood in my doorway, looking down to me, our bodies just inches apart. “It’s been really good to see you.” I whispered. “We waited too long.” He spoke just as quiet, his voice seeming even deeper. “Promise we won’t wait that long again.” “Maybe you should stay in one place more.” “Maybe you should come back home more.” “Fine,” I reddened. “I promise.” He leaned into me, my eyes automatically closing as he pressed the most delicate kiss imaginable to my left cheek, his lips new to me but somehow feeling incredibly familiar, like his plump lips had lavished the area numerous times before. He pulled away, and I beamed looking up to him, wetting my lips. “Goodnight, Little Lulu Lamb.” “Goodnight, Harry.” We were so quiet it hurt, our words hardly reaching past our lips they were so soft. I reached for my door without taking my eyes off him, starting to slowly close it, shutting the two of us apart for the evening and ignoring the way my stomach was twisting because I had no idea what it as trying to tell me. The door was nearly back within its slot before he spoke. “Lulu.” He simply said. I continued to gaze at him through the small gap, silent and nervous, but it was only for a split second. He forced the door open again, immediately clasping his large hand at the back of my neck and pressing his forehead to mine with force, making me stumble back, my legs crashing against my bed and my throat tight. I think he was waiting for me to falter, or ask him to move away or ask what he was doing, but I didn’t, I couldn’t, and he took that as his sign. Slowly, he moved his lips forward, my eyes falling shut as they gently pressed against mine, breathing him in, unsure where to place my hands. When his lips met mine, his grip at the back of my neck tightened somewhat, feeling the intensity of our sweet kiss. I noted how his plump lips compressed against mine, his free hand pulling at my waist so the front of my body collided with his, and the second he did that, he pulled his lips away from me, hovering close and screwing his brows tightly. “I’m sorry.” He breathed. “Shit, I crossed a line, I’m sorry, I just-” “Harry, it’s fine.” “No, I’m sorry, I-” “Kiss me again.” I gasped, a confidence I hadn’t been expecting included alongside my desperate exhale. “Just kiss me.” He didn’t take much persuading, within a second he pushed his lips back to mine, fierce this time, almost immediately widening his mouth and brushing his tongue against my lip before I widened my own and lets our tongues greet, my arms finding themselves hooking around his neck, my body rolling against his. He rapidly moved his arms, lowering them to latch at the top of my thighs, silently forcing me to jump up and wrap my legs around his hips. I let out the most pathetic squeal against his lips as I leapt, not expecting him to be able to catch me so easily, but he barely moved, his strength showing. Once I was there he held me up, and I let my fingers trace his jaw, our tongues working together wonderfully, soft and hard and eager and patient all at the same time. It felt like this was the repercussion of the two of us not kissing in our younger years, when he’d first wanted to, when I’d convinced myself I didn’t just because it just made me a part of a really long list. Kissing him felt like a dream. The way I could feel his skin twitch ever so slightly beneath my touch felt like an illusion, because in a way, this should have happened years ago. It should have happened when we were clumsy and young and hopeless, that’s when we should have shared our first kiss. But it was like something had brought us back together, like this kiss couldn’t be ignored or missed. It should have happened then, but it was happening now. He balanced his knees on the end of my bed before he fell down on top of me, the mattress bouncing beneath us and his hands searching down the side of my body. “Maybe we should stop.” I gasped, lolling my head back, but that only encouraged him to kiss my neck. “Maybe we shouldn’t.” He grunted, licking and kissing at the skin. “Harry, I don’t-” “I know I can trust you.” He panted, lifting his head and looking down at me. “It’s not often that I meet people who I know I can trust. People have fucking ulterior motives all the time, it’s… Fuck.” He’d found himself suddenly stuck between two emotions, his anger and his sorrow, maybe recalling times where people in his life had abused his kindness and fractured his trust. I hated that thought. “I’m sorry.” I shuddered. “I know I can trust you, and… I want to use that trust.” He grinned a little. “Can I?” I couldn’t even imagine what that was like, having to be able to have full faith and trust within a person even if you just wanted to spend one night with them. I’m sure years of mistakes and fake friends had brought him to this place, and to know I held his trust felt almost like an honour, and I didn’t want to break it, or even let it crack. I nodded, stroking my fingers through the short hair at the back of his head, and then he lowered his mouth back down to mine, once again consuming me with a lax kiss. I could feel that he had a soft smile, happy that I had accepted his trust and silently promised to keep it intact. Having his trust meant that we could lose ourselves for one night, and I knew not only that it would be an honour, but it would be a pleasure. I lifted my hips off the bed, my skin developing tiny bumps as his hands ran down the sides of my body again and then hooked into my pants, biting sweetly at my bottom lip, and I could see him changing, from the sparkling, foolish boy with bright green eyes, to this man with complete control, pitch black eyes and dark groans. My loose pants slipped off my legs once I’d gently kicked them off the bottom of my feet, Harry trailing his fingers up the inside of my thigh and then stroking between my folds, delicately feeling at my warm, wet heat. “Fuck.” I gasped, loving the smug confidence that appeared in the lines of his face. He suddenly pushed upwards, knelt upright on my bed, biting his lip as he unfastened his belt, refusing to take his eyes off me because he knew what he was doing to me. He fucking knew it and it almost hurt. I reached my hand down, gently touching myself as he pulled the belt from between the slots of his jeans, then taking one hand and holding together each end of the belt, before he pulled at the hoop he had created and snapped the leather together, the sharp sound causing electricity to shoot through my body. “Widen your legs.” He groaned, his voice causing my stomach to knot. I did as he asked, finally taking my eyes from his and watching him lower the belt to my core, pressing one hand down on my stomach hard. He then slapped the leather against my wetness, hard enough to make my neck snap back and a shattered whimper to mass in my throat. “Holy fuck.” I heard him whisper. He then threw the belt away, now rushing to remove his jeans whereas all the movements with his belt had been so slow and torturous. He was getting desperate, and so was I, unable to watch him undress fully as I pulled my t-shirt over my head, just about seeing him kick his jeans off, his boxers hunched with them, and then he threw himself back to me, locking the two of us in a forceful kiss, rushed and frantic and messy. I felt at his chest as he reached down and took hold of himself, feeling the eager beat of his heart as he tugged up and down just twice, and then lined himself at my entrance. He watched my face as he pushed into me, his hips slowly tilting in my direction, my mouth dropping open and a hot beat of my breath pushing outwards, fluttering the loose strands of hair that had fallen over his forehead. He stayed motionless, breathing in the moment until I pressed my hips down into the mattress to spur him, keen for some movement from him, and his body reacted to mine, pulling outwards and then crashing back into me, letting out this staggered moan as he did. He started to kiss me again as he found his pace, each thrust as harsh as the last, jolted and exact. The feel of him inside me was enough to make me whimper continuously, the noise uneven and aching, my hands searching down his back as his tongue licked into my mouth. His fingers tangled between my hair, harsh with the loose strands, seeming to grip tighter every time he was inside me fully. Having him fuck me like that felt otherworldly. He was so tender at the same time as being harsh. The way he kissed me made me feel like I was magic, and I’d cast him under my spell, like my lips were all he wanted. Yet the way he thrust into me made me feel weak, like he held every single shred of power. The desire I felt was like nothing else. “Turn around.” He demanded breathlessly once his lips left mine. “Lay on your stomach.” I did as instructed, feeling empty for the brief while he wasn’t inside me as I twisted my body and fell back down to the mattress with a thud, my cheek pressed against my pillow as he thrust back into me, laying his body on top of mine, the movements now drawn out but powerful. He brushed some of my hair away and bit down on my earlobe, his unforgiving tug leaving me close to screaming. “Fuck, Harry!” I cried. “You like it when I fuck you like this?” He grunted, each pulse of his hips weakening me further. “Yes, fuck, please-” “Tell me you want it harder.” He groaned, biting my ear again. “Harder, please, I…” I could barely speak, my words tangled within my breathy pants and my vocal bliss, but I’d been clear enough. He pinched his hands at my waist, and somehow pushed even harder into me, my wet pleasure soon proving my climax, his skin beginning to slap against mine. He then put his body upright again, dragging my hips backwards so that my knees were bent, my breasts pressed to the mattress as he slapped his hands against my bum, holding me as his pace quickened and he began to peak, each groan that he emitted music to my ears. His final few thrusts were fast and hard, his nails digging into my skin and my screams heightening. “Can I come on you?” He growled. “Yes.” Ecstasy laced with my words at the mere thought. “Turn around.” He demanded again. So I did, soon laying on my back and watching him tug at himself with his eyes scrunched shut, just a few times before he released his pleasure onto my chest, his whole body cowering and crumpling in on itself. After his final few spurts, his body collapsed, just about catching himself before he fell down onto me, his arms tense either side of me as they caught his heavy build. “Fuck.” He gasped breathlessly, his forehead glistening, eyes closed. “Fuck… And I thought I crossed a line when I kissed you.” I laughed heartily even though I was still trying to find my breath, looking down at his release that glistened on my chest and my breasts, swallowing hard, like suddenly I was nervous and awkward again. “It’s fine.” I chuckled. “Stay here.” He told me. “Let me grab you something so you can clean yourself up.” “Use the clean tea-towel!” I grinned as he jumped off me and wandered into the other half of my flat, shooting me a cheeky grin over his shoulder. I looked back down to the mess he had created, feeling it beginning to go cold on my skin, licking over my lips and hoping he knew that I had liked what had happened, his finish included. He scurried back in a few seconds later with said tea-towel, throwing it to me before he sat on the foot of my bed, running his hand through his hair. I sat up, putting my legs beneath my sheets and cleaning up, watching him in silence, seeing him trying to calm down. “That was amazing.” I commented, smiling softly. He turned his head to me, letting himself smile a little. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” I nodded. “I can get pretty intense, I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.” I sighed. “I… I loved it.” “Okay.” He let his smile grow even more. “Good. I did, too.” “You can… stay in here, if you want?” I suggested, once again wishing I could smack my head against a wall as soon as I’d opened my mouth. “I mean… you don’t have to, but-” “I’d like that.” He cooed, his cheeks red again. I hutched to one side of the bed, happy to see fucking Harry Styles of all people crawling to occupy the other, the two of us soon tucking in together, laying on our sides so we could look clearly at one another, and I swear we both had the most ridiculous, dopey smiles on our faces. He noticed mine, gently pinching at my cheek. “Doooon’t!” I tittered, playing pulling from his touch. “Can’t help it.” He smiled. “Like I said, I love the colour.” I closed my eyes, snuggling in even more, knowing that he was still watching me, but absolutely exhausted. I hitched a little closer to him, blushing even further when he reached his hands and pulled my body so it was as near to his as he could. “Will you be gone in the morning?” I asked. “No. I’ll be here. I’ll make you breakfast.” “What a gent.” “Thanks.” He sniggered. We cuddled close together, our bodies easing in seconds, somehow feeling completely natural against his frame. “I’m glad you came.” I yawned, beginning to drift. “This New Years, I promise to go back to Holmes Chapel if you do.” I opened my eyes, seeing how serious he was, that he was silently saying that this could happen again, that we could find ourselves being this frivolous again. I moved, and kissed his lips fondly, just for a moment. “I promise.” I whispered, watching his smile grow.

#THERE YOU GO ACTOR HARRY ANON #TLATL1 #sorry if it's rubbish #The Lamb and the Lion #tlatl #me #mine #1dff #harry styles one shot #harry styles #dunkirk #one direction #writing

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7 Inspiring How to move ahead After a Breakup

7 Inspiring How to move ahead After a Breakup

Updated on 14, 2021 by Cyril Abello 17 Comments january

Just originating from a bad breakup? Yeah, it is difficult and there’s no shortcut to making the pain disappear completely quickly. Nevertheless, it wonâ€

t final forever. Quickly you shall move ahead and there’s no searching back. And believe me if you handle this situation properly if I say youâ€

ll end up a better person.

a failed relationship could cause self-doubt, sense of worthlessness, and anxiety about loving once again. Individuals involved with breakups, specially people who had been put aside, think they couldnâ€

t get on it and live without their ex. Nevertheless, after months of being by themselves, they understood they certainly were incorrect.

The Post-Breakup Syndrome

How will you understand if you might be going right through the normal procedure for overcoming a breakup? Well, you merely experience all or some of the after:

• You canâ€

t rest nor consume when it comes to first a couple of days. • either you lose or put on weight. • Youâ€

re checking your phone every 5 minutes hoping your ex lover sent you a note. • Youâ€

re asking your self everything youâ€

ve done incorrect. • You think if perhaps you’re more gorgeous or military cupid login handsome, then your ex couldnâ€

t have remaining you. • Your thoughts are fighting whether you need to erase your pictures together. • You remember your ex partner in almost every corner of your house, road, or basically every-where.

They are normal responses of a normal person in heartbreak, therefore donâ€

t be afraid of exactly what youâ€

re dealing with. They shall be over soon.

That will help you cope up with a breakup better, below are a few real means that could inspire and motivate you to go on.

1. Fight for the love unless you get exhausted. This appears stupid, silly, and pathetic, but actually, it could forward help you move without regrets. You fight for him/her even if thereâ€

s no chance of winning—at least youâ€

ve done your part if you truly love someone. Because of this, you are able to proceed without asking ‘what ifâ€

sâ€

or thinking ‘if onlyâ€

sâ€

.

Additionally, as soon as you have tired from fighting for a person who does not like to keep coming back, shifting becomes much easier just it and the person because you get tired of.

2. Stop being emotional. toss something that can remind you for the past. It’s not simple to do, but trust in me, it helps lighten your load up. If you fail to forget about keepsakes, it indicates you will be still waiting on hold. Nevertheless, then be brave enough to burn all the false hopes if you know itâ€

s pointless to hold on. Memories cannot bring back whatâ€

s gone.

Unless s/he asked you to, donâ€

t return the material fond of you. Theyâ€

re already yours. Should you choose it, your ex lover could be compelled to come back that which you offered him/her as well—and seeing those actions wonâ€

t do you any worthwhile. Then just burn or throw them away if seeing the stuff you shared with each other or you received brings back memories.

3. Donâ€

t be clingy. Then stop being clingy if what you want is your ex crawling back to you. People always wish to play difficult to get. Nonetheless, once they discover that the main one who likes them has stopped operating after them, they wonder why and pursue that individual.

Well, this is certainly additionally beneficial to shifting after breakup though, particularly if you donâ€

t want to try the suggestion that is first. At the very least, using this, you keep your pride preventing hoping.

4. Make use of this as a motivation to function as most readily useful variation of your self. This is quite typical among heartbroken people, but head you, it is actually the best benefit. Aim greater objectives on your own. Get rid of your frustrations and start to become committed. Make an effort to be perfect—this could be not possible—but you can be helped by the pressure correct as much flaws as you can.

Just advice though: donâ€

t do that since you want your ex partner to obtain back into you. Alternatively, try this as you have actually realized you donâ€

t deserve become dumped by just anybody, and also you deserve the most effective since you are the most effective.

5. Satisfy new and individuals, and work out more buddies. Fulfilling people that are new making new friends provides you with a way to find a far better person and just forget about your ex lover. Iâ€

m maybe not saying you appear for a rebound. You have moved on completely, so there will be no inhibitions before you enter a new relationship, make sure. Nonetheless, it is pretty good to be surrounded by a complete lot of buddies. Their business shall help in keeping you against loneliness.

6. Be career-oriented. Being solitary offers you a chance to concentrate on your ambitions and boost your profession. Love canâ€

t help keep you alive whenever you as well as your young ones get hungry as time goes on. So, attempt to be an unbiased, stable job individual. It will help improve your self-worth, as well as it would still be intact if you get brokenhearted again.

Additionally, being busy in your job after a breakup can distract you against reminiscing the last. Without your notice, months have actually passed by already, and also you understand youâ€

ve shifted.

7. Find a brand new environment|environment that is new}. Repeat this as long as after months breakup that is following you still canâ€

t function normally and youâ€

re too depressed. When your present workplace or neighbor hood reminds you a whole lot of the failed relationship, particularly when your ex lover is just about to happen, then going to a different spot isn’t that bad. You can easily choose to change the environment and start anew. A start that is fresh allow you to regain way for yourself.

You’ve got the control Yes, a breakup could be painful and hard. Nevertheless, it really is a normal section of life. As much as possible, donâ€

t allow it destroy you. Donâ€

t allow your feelings dictate the manner in which you should live life since you could expect your decisions become irrational. It should be head over matter.

After a breakup, attempt to live a normal life. Donâ€

t try anything self-destructive like drugs or committing suicide. Encircle yourself with individuals who are able to encourage you. Provide your very best in school or in the office. Glance at the side that is bright of always. Aided by the right point of view, you are able to move ahead without getting too broken.

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