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jinkicake · 2 years

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Somebody’s Watching Me

What happens when you ignore him after a fight (#groveling).

Diluc Ragnvindr x Reader

Kaeya Alberich x Reader

Xiao x Reader

A/N: I actually wrote this back in July bc i wanted angst and tension and I meant to post it then but I didn’t have the balls to (still dont but--)... it took me three hours to write less than 3k.... im not who i used to be its so- whateverrrrr,,, as always more of my thoughts are after the tags kekeke, can you tell i still adore angst?

WC - around 2.7K

~~~

Diluc R.

Baby daddy Diluc would love to give you space after a disagreement but, he can’t. He finds himself distracted with everything and anything, nothing can get done when you’re upset with him. Without your forgiveness, he becomes a lost soul! He follows you around like a kicked puppy, he can’t help it! Listen, this man is protective as shit and refuses to be in your bad graces. He’ll do anything to make it up to you, even giving you space if you really want it (although that is the last thing he wants). If you ignore him for too long tho, he might just melt into a puddle of goo and wipe out!

“My love, please-”

“No, Dliuc!” You push away his gloved hand being held out to you, the one that so desperately yearns to cup your cheek, you scoff at it. You scoff at him and Diluc feels his heart aching deep in his chest. “You might not think much of it but, I do. Leave me alone.”

The words harshly slap against him, leaving the man speechless as he pathetically opens and closes his mouth to say anything to get you back. His feet feel as if they’re made out of stone and he knows that no weight could ever keep him from running to you but, now, with the hurt on your face; he feels too ashamed to do anything but watch you storm out of the Winery.

He didn’t know that a snide comment about his brother would snowball into this, you and your unmoving anger.

You’re just so stubborn, so beautiful, that it makes him want to tug at his fiery roots until he yanks his hair out. Diluc knows he said the wrong thing, that maybe talking so lowly of someone you consider a dear friend wasn’t the right thing to do but, he simply could not help it.

Because Diluc watches whenever you step into his field of vision, makes sure to keep you within a safe distance beside him so then he feels comfortable enough to carry on with whatever he was doing.

The same thing happened earlier in the night, everything was fine after his usual scan of the room, but then he heard your laugh. Your charming laugh, one that he thought was reserved for him was instead being spoiled by his brother. It’s a miracle the glass he was drying in his hand didn’t shatter at that moment. Diluc is more than aware of your close friendship with Kaeya, he knows of all the commissions the two of you share and he hates it. Your relationship irks him in a way that he can’t comprehend and he’s aware that he needs to fix that. Fix his jealousy. However, it’s clearly taking much longer than he thought.

Instead of worrying, Diluc focuses on organizing the newly cleaned glasses he left after dinner. One by one, he sets them up perfectly on the shelf before carefully placing each napkin in its rightful stack. It’s become his ritual of cleaning the Winery each night. But, now he’s just distracting himself from the inevitable feeling that has already begun to set in. A mix of worry and guilt, inevitably overpowered by rejection.

His strong fingers thump against the clean dining table and for a moment, Diluc distracts himself from the one thing he wants most. You. It’s a distraction short-lived because he cracks a single finger before making his way deep into the office. Perhaps his paperwork will give him a large enough headache to distract him once more.

The numbing pain building in his temple is nothing compared to the hollow ache blooming in his chest. The mundane task works, the countless amount of numbers he checks over and over again do their job until he hears the gentle sound of the door opening. For a moment, he thinks he may have imagined it but then he hears your footsteps and Diluc is out of his chair and pushing the door out of his way to meet you.

Even if you glance at him and ignore him, walking further up the stairs to create more distance, Diluc already feels the ache starting to soothe over. He follows you after you, keeping a safe amount of paces behind you. Quietly, he moves as if you won’t be able to notice his six-foot frame doing so.

“Beloved,” He starts and you greet him with the bedroom door closing in his face. The action causes a small smile to appear on his face, but Diluc quickly shakes it away. “please,”

It’s nearing midnight and neither of you has time for this. The last thing Diluc wants is you going to sleep upset with him.

He sighs softly before following you into the bathroom, the man feels ashamed and it burns brightly in his chest,

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs against your neck, slowly breathing in the alluring scent entangled with your hair. “please forgive me.” In his own selfish way, a side he can only show towards you, he doesn’t really give you a choice. Diluc’s strong, muscular arms are wrapped around your waist and holding onto you so tightly. You couldn’t get away from him now without a fight. “I’m working on… my jealousy. Darling, please.”

Even you have to admit how hard it is to deny Diluc when he is begging so earnestly.

You lightly place your hand on top of his own, squeezing him gently before glancing back to place a gentle kiss on his jaw. He sighs with relief.

“I won’t forgive you so easily next time.”

“I know. I will hold you to it.”

Kaeya A.

Kaeya, my forever #1 in this game, would need space after a heavy disagreement. If you walk one way then he will walk in the other direction until he cools off. However, it usually takes him about ten meters before he realizes that he should escort you wherever you’re going so he just follows while silently stewing in his own anger. Kaeya doesn’t show it, he never does because he doesn’t want to displease you but, his upset feelings are there. But, he loves you and would kiss the ground that you walk on to prove it to you.

“Fine then.”

“Fine!” You shriek, and how it got to this, Kaeya isn’t really sure. He watches as you turn away and walk towards the entrance of Mondstadt, his stare lingers for a few moments before he heads towards the cathedral. The two of you always know how to make a scene, even when no one is around and it is late into the evening and all the shops around have closed. He finds that to be a good thing, he didn’t want an audience tonight. Not like this anyway.

His blood is still rushing through his veins, he can hear his heart thumping in his ears. He can still recall the fire burning in your eyes and the distinct way that your hands trembled by your sides every time either of your voices got louder. The captain feels guilty above anything else, anger is still there but he knows it’s an emotion that will fade away quickly.

“Damn it, (Y/N),” Kaeya sighs before tilting his head back, giving himself the view of the starry sky. You always did love the night sky. He knows what he said was wrong, that maybe he shouldn’t have insinuated that you needed support on such a lowly ranked mission but, he couldn’t help it. Kaeya does not like to take chances with you and he would rather underestimate you than overestimate, even if that makes you burn brighter in fury than his brother’s hair.

He just didn’t expect you to get so angry, he thought that maybe you would understand and take it down a notch. Kaeya can’t stand to see you get hurt, to find you fighting multiple monsters all by yourself at once. There’s nothing in this world that could save him if something happened to you, why don’t you get that?

Any unresolved anger gets put on the back burner of his mind, Kaeya decides to make it his priority to look for you. He’ll be damned if you don’t want to be found.

“Stubborn ass,” He murmurs as he heads out the gates, there are a number of places that you could be. Kaeya finds himself so focused, consumed with this one thing he wants so badly, that he doesn’t even blink as he passes the darknight hero.

The redhead beside him lets out a noise that is somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.

“(Y/N),” Kaeya calls when he sees you on the other side of the bridge outside the walls of Mondstadt, feet hanging off of the side while you stare at the ducks in the lake below. He sounds playful and that instantly causes your face to sour. Your lips purse at his voice, eyebrows furrowing together, you merely blink at Kaeya before turning your attention back to the water. “don’t ignore me, sweetest.”

In a way, Kaeya is still trying to level his own anger. He’s still processing the effects of your previous conflict while balancing your current conversation. It takes him a moment or two to find the right footing.

“What’s got you bothered, babe?” He sits down beside you very close to the point that there are mere centimeters that keep your thighs from touching. You look at him with a blank expression but Kaeya can see the irritation embedded in your features. “Oh?” He sounds amused when you ignore him once more but, that could be further from the truth. Kaeya is neither entertained nor delighted by this, no, he’s pissed. “Come on, talk to me,” He urges again and this time, he wraps his arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. “you wound me, (Y/N).”

“You wound me!” You finally snap at him, eyes filled with a rage that clearly hasn’t left you from before. “You think I’m weak!”

“I do not, my darling. I just think you need some extra help whenever I can’t join you.” Kaeya’s words do little to soothe your anger, in fact, you just become more irritated. You attempt to push yourself up, to stand up and walk away from him but the captain pulls you tightly into his chest. “You’re not running away from me again~” Had you not been so upset you would have caved in at his honeyed words, taking a rest in his strong arms. “I just want you to stay safe, you get that, don’t you?”

Some part of you can understand that.

“I’m sorry if I had upset you, sweetest, but I want to make sure nothing happens to you.” Almost as if he is trying to emphasize his words, Kaeya’s arms squeeze around you tightly. “Please let me protect you,”

“I can protect you too, okay?” You stubbornly stare at him and the challenge that rests within your eyes makes his heart flutter. “and myself.”

“Do you promise me?” Kaeya dips his head down, brushing his lips over yours.

“I promise.”

And he seals that with a kiss.

Xiao

If, for some reason, you end up in a disagreement with Xiao and you tell him to politely ‘fuck off’; he will respect your wishes. Xiao will respect it and you by keeping a safe distance of 50 meters between the two of you. Sorry to say this (teehee not really) but the adeptus will not let you out of his sight. He makes it his duty to protect you so when he ends up being the one that hurts you, he works tenfold to make up for it. Quietly, he will follow until you’re ready to come back and talk with him once more.

“Leave me alone, Xiao.” You didn’t have to even look over your shoulder to tell he was there. Still, you frown when you see your boyfriend behind you perched on the top of a large rock. Irritation blooms in your chest and you hastily try to swallow it down by taking a few more steps down the dirt path.

“Okay.” His voice is soft, almost as it if he speaks it like a promise. You sigh out in relief, feeling a weight lifting off of your shoulders because sometimes you just need space. But then he appears on another boulder in front of you, teleporting, and it almost feels as if he is mocking you.

Xiao watches you carefully, he doesn’t let his amber eyes leave your sight for even a second as you continue to aimlessly walk through the Bishui plain. Had you not known him so well, you would have thought he was angry. His face is hard as his hollow eyes stare and stare to make sure you feel his presence all around you.

This is a normal Xiao. Protective and kind, always worrying about you almost more than needed. No amount of arguing or convincing could get him to see that you’re fine without him hovering around you every second of every day. The mere thought makes you wince and ache blooms in your chest at the harsh words spat between the two of you earlier in the evening.

You shouldn’t have called him obsessive and paranoid.

He shouldn’t have called you weak and helpless.

Carefully, you glance over your shoulder to look at him. Xiao looks lonely on the rock, he feels distant as his eyes wash over you. Almost to ask what’s wrong, he subtly tilts his head.

You’re not ready to give in, not yet. You keep walking, ignoring the gentle breeze of air transporting around you until you reach a familiar rock.

The earthly object is not hard to climb, it sits low enough that you can place yourself on it without any work. It provides such a pretty view of the plains, and the gentle green and yellow accents never fail to provide you with comfort and a sense of stability.

Xiao lets you have your breath of air, he watches as you stare longingly at the scene in front of you. He doesn’t glance at it once, he’s meant to protect Liyue and will do so with his entire being when it comes down to it but-

But, something claws in his chest and urges him to protect you even more.

If you want space, he will give it to you. However, he will always see to it personally that you get home safely. His mortal treasure is more precious to him than duties.

He can only stand you angry at him for so long.

Xiao’s footsteps are silent, he moves so quietly that you don’t hear him but you always feel him when he is near. You know that he is now standing beside you, just a little behind so that he doesn’t impose on your view.

“Are you ready to forgive me?” Xiao, as much as he doesn’t know about mortal emotions, knows how this needs to go. He asks for forgiveness, you grant it to him then you’re not angry with him anymore. He sees the scene play out time and time again between couples at the Wangshuu inn, but he would never admit that he pays attention to them.

“Have you even apologized yet?” You glance back at him, brief judgment in your eyes but any of your fighting spirit had diminished hours ago.

“Oh,” Xiao quietly gasps, hiding the noise as he gently sits down next to you, he forgot about that part, didn’t he? “I apologize.”

“I’m sorry.”

You both blurt it out at the same time and a heavy air descends upon the two of you. Xiao shakes his head before tilting it away from you as he lets his eyes glance over rock to rock.

“You’re not weak.” His soft tone almost makes you melt and the quiet murmur makes your cheeks burst with heat. “I don’t want anything to ever happen to you. If you call for me, I will always be there.”

You smile, you smile at him and he feels the stiff heart in his chest thump.

“I know, Xiao.” His eyes widen as you rest your hand over his own, how can you be so kind and understanding? “I shouldn’t have called you those things, I didn’t mean it, I was just angry and took it out on you.” Xiao almost finds it hard to focus, your touch is so soft and your lips are so full underneath the moonlight. Oh, how can’t he kiss you at this moment? “I like my space but, only if you’re there to share it with me.”

#diluc ragnvindr x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #xiao x reader #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #xiao x y/n #genshin x you

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onlyjaeyun · 14 days

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i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

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kaisworlds · 1 year

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taking deep breaths because Tumblr deleted my draft while working on this twice now im going to try and write it in one go so this is unedited

Top dom male reader as always

names in red mean they stop acting like a brat and lose them selves in the pleasure

names in blue means they stop being shy and let out their moans

new: names in orange means they are all up in your ear no shame at all

PT. 2 of who fits the standard

pt1:

Eustass "Captain" Kid

cw: hair pulling.

do I even need to explain why his name is in red

this man's pride and ego is taller than mount Everest i swear it would take some convincing to even let him bottom and he wouldn't let you know he actually wants it

when he eventually agrees he is stripped down laying on his stomach before you order him to get on all fours he clicks his tongue mumbling something under his breath turning around

as you look at his ass you see he already prepped himself when asked about it he stammers out "i want you to get over with it" looking forward hoping you dont notice his flushed cheeks

before all of this he would constantly say things like "you think that small thing can pleasure me you must be out of your fucking mind" you were in fact not small

when pushing into him you notice his thigh muscles tense up so you rub his lower back unknown to you kid is loosing his damn mind no one ever touches him as gently as you do (that won't last for long we all know kid likes it rough come on now)

as you bottom out kid rests his head on the pillow holding in his moans as best as he can "y-you're terrible at this i can do it better" knowing he can't.

as you set a steady pace one fast enough to keep him hard but not fast so he cums wanting him to be more vocal "come on captain let me hear you~"

kid refuses to give you the satisfaction looking back scowling at you "you dont deserve-"

he is cut off by a strong hard gripping a hand full of hair yanking him up so his back is flushed against your chest he lets out a loud groan biting his lip to quiet himself down while you speed up.

"now that wasn't so hard was it?" keeping a harsh grip on his hair tugging the roots he leans his head back onto your shoulder groans and pants slipping out of his mouth

he is very red by the end of the session

"Red-Haired" Shanks

cw: biting, scratching.

he is very open to trying anything you bring up.

asking him to bottom gained an easy yes from the curious man and he knows he can trust you

prepping him was quiet easy he tensed up a little on entry but rubbing and kissing his inner thighs while stroking his dick every once in a while helped

eventually he was ready for you, staying in missionary since it was the easiest position and you wanted to search his face for any discomfort during it.

after fully pushing your self in shanks smirked looking up at you "that's all? I thought you had more in you?"

you furrowed your brow starting with slow thrusts as shanks pretended to be boerd with it you gradually increased to a more brutal pace

he lost his composure really quickly wrapping his arms around your neck pulling your head closer biting on your shoulder his back arching off the bed as your cock brushes over his prostate

he gets really loud really fast his toes curling feeling no shame leaving scratches on your back.

Sabo

cw: frotting, overstim, aftercare

my baby he is very vanilla and a heavy virgin

you were his first everything and very patient with him when he wasn't ready to go all the way

it was around 1 am and you guys were having a make out session on the couch sabo pulls back his lips slightly red from the rough kissing, "i want you" he mumbles out before realising what he said his eyes widen and his face goes red along with your eyebrow raising "are you sure sabo?" he locks eyes with you feeling calmer immediately, he nods.

moving to the bedroom wanting him to feel comfortable you light some scented candles (idk if those exist in one piece but idc) with his favourite flavour

he sits down on the bed staring as you approach him, you sit down placing him on your lap kissing him gently lifting his shirt off over his head your hands roaming his chest.

you guys are now left in your underwear he tugs on your waistband as you are kissing his neck so you lift it down, your dick springing up to slap your stomach.

looking at him you speak "can I touch you..." he quickly nods desperate for your touch he takes out his cock which is flushed at the tip pre cum dribbling out he avoids eye contact embarrassed with how hard he is "you're so beautiful you know?" he hears you mumble his blush growing

you wrap your hand around both of your dicks adding lube jerking your dicks off against each other sabo bucks his hips into your hand biting on his tongue to keep his moans in bet when your thumb circles his tip he lets out a quiet moan and almost a small sob as he cums as you stop not wanting to over stimulate him he wraps his hand around yours jerking faster the grip tightening he leans his head against your shoulder moaning your name

when you and him finish up he is pretty just asleep on top of you so you pick him up taking him to the bathroom cleaning him and your self up before cuddling in bed

koala knew what happened as soon as she saw you two

I feel like this was shit but Tumblr deleted my drafts so idek man

hope you enjoyed

#dom male reader #top male reader #amab reader #one piece kid #one piece shanks #one piece sabo #bottom one piece #fuck tumblr #please tell me what you think of this

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softxsuki · 1 year

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hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you.

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him.

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain.

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead.

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you.

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

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boredandwiredkitty · 5 days

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Listening to old favorite songs and getting some inspiration to write again.

For the longest time ever and and still a bit now I've been into omegaverse. Found some of my favorite kinks from it. Im a little ashamed to admit. I always wanted to incorporate it into some of my own fics and have made a few but I have yet to publish any of them. Maybe I will after this one.

I also highly recommend listening to the song as you read my little drabble. You don't have to but it might help you see the headspace I went in while writing. I really wanted to explore a bit more of the feral side of wheeljack. What if you both tried to deny what you both wanted. That push and pull. It all began as one scene in my head and the song morphed it into the whole fic that you see.

This is part one since I accidentally made it too damn long of a two part story

As always Minors DNI! This is a 18+ rated fic with NSFW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

This fic does contain most omegaverse themes so if you're adverse to that this might not be for you.

Reader is AFAB if you're wondering.

Heavy panting and heavy footfalls were the only things you could hear over your pounding spark.

Stuck again in the same dream that you get time to time. You were always running. You weren't quite sure why. Was it to something? Was it from something? Was it both? Only the pull in your chest urged you forward. Unsure if it was fear or inclination.

Just as you were about to stop and turn to see if something was behind you the rug was pulled from under you. Abruptly feeling the sensation of falling.

You awoke with a jolt. Clutching the bed underneath you confirming your stability. You were not falling nor needing to run. Everything's fine.

Sort of.

You only got that dream periodically. Right around every time your body goes through a particular change.

The limiters were off and all hell was about to break loose.

As familiar symptoms began to creep throughout your frame trepidation mixed with it.

You couldn't calm your rapid spark as your internal temp was faintly yet steadily rising. The damn dream was always a warning. A premonition of sorts.

"Please dont" You murmured to yourself. Though it was futile. You didn't know how to stop it once it was set in motion. Especially without outside help.

But who were you going to ask? With such sensitive information no less? Was there anyone you trusted enough to ask for help from? Let alone even know HOW to help you?

It was the early hours of morning before the world seemed to wake up. Dawn had yet to break over the horizon. It wasn't much time but just enough to either find help or put enough distance between yourself and a certain other.

You weakly swung your legs over the side of the bed. Becoming even more aware of your incoming heat. You even wondered if it was coming too fast.

Did shockwave have something to do with this?

The first couple of times this happened was back in shockwaves lab. Every time you started showing noticeable signs he would quickly administer some sort of drug and it would seem to vanish without a trace.

The first time it happened you were obviously concerned and immediately went to the scientist with complaints of your new alarming symptoms. The uncomfortable warmth paired with mental fog and a strange urge that burned through your body. The urge to go looking for someone so strong it overpowered everything else. You didn't know who or what but you felt like you had to find what your body needed so desperately. A feeling like you absolutely depended on it for survival.

The unconcerned tank mech only stared at you in response with his one glaring red optic when you approached him that day. Only to turn silently and cluncked to a place in the lab to began working on something. Not bothering to utter a single word to you. Not too long after he arrived with a needle loaded up what you guessed was more energon mixed with something else due to its ever so slight opaqueness.

You squirmed and questioned how he couldn't just make it into something you could drink.

"This is more effective. Injecting it directly into your bloodstream will nullify your heat immediately."

"Heat?" You asked him incredulously as he pushed the plunger carefully.

"Yes. It seems are you are beginning your first heat cycle. No matter, I have made a temporary cure for your cycle and you shall be back to normal operation in a moment."

You winced as the fluid entered your body. You hated the invasive cold feeling of liquid forcefully entering your veins. "Will it be gone permanently?"

"No. It will only prevent symptoms this cycle. Do not worry. Your systems are still functional. You just are no longer under the affects."

"Great to hear." You stated sarcastically as he moved away to go back to his current project. He was looking at a strand of CNA next to a strand of human DNA. Probably another part of your cyberformation project.

After that every heat you had; depending on how quickly your symptoms set in; he would either give you the injection or a ingestable variation. You hated the injections but you had to admit it was much nicer that relief was almost instant. The medicine would take much longer and sometimes waiting for the symptoms to dissappear was unbearable. You would not let yourself drop to degrading levels around the emotionless logic fueled scientist. You would rather die before it got to that point.

Now you sat up in the darkness of your room back at autobot headquarters. Without shockwave or any medication to get through this.

You wanted to ask ratchet for help but you didn't know if he had anything to help you or even knew how to make it. Given your circumstances it was probably only shockwave that knew.

Ratchet knew of your technorganic body but he was still learning of all its ins and outs. It was only fairly recently that you showed him shockwaves handiwork. You were patient as he would carefully examine you and run different tests to see the extent of the cyberformation. But you doubted if he knew anything about your current predicament.

You stiffly got up. There's no harm at trying.

You walked out in the dimness of the base and found the medic looking over some files.

"Hey ratchet." You quietly called out to him careful not to startle the poor older mech.

His helm quickly turned to you noticing your weary looking frame. "What are you doing up?"

You suddenly felt bashful. "I um." You squirmed under his worried gaze. "I'm getting my heat cycle. And I'm hoping you could help me."

The flush over his face made you realize you should've been more clear. "I do not think I would be the right mech for such a task. Why don't you ask w-" He began before you cut him off from saying his name.

"Nonono! That's not what I'm saying. Can you give me some medicine to alleviate the symptoms?!" You exclaimed while waving your arms frantically in front of you.

"You want me to make a medicine?" He queried.

"Yes. That's what I meant," You confirmed back.

Ratchet stood there in deep thought for a moment. Murmuring to himself before looking back up at you.

"I'd hate to ask but what would shockwave do when this would happen? Or is this the first time?"

You shook your head. "Shockwave had different remedies. Sometimes it was an injection. Sometimes it was a medicine that I would drink. It depended on how bad the symptoms were." You told him truthfully. Hopeful he would find something.

"What exactly are your symptoms?"

Your eyes darkened. What a unpleasant question.

While you spent your time here you noticed something you never would've back at the lab. Something you would only have realized once EXPOSED to it.

The mech that plagued you. That you were injected with their energon. Repeatedly. Invading your veins to begin the cyberforming process. Their biomatter mixed with yours. How your body called out to theirs as if they were a homing beacon. You were a moth and they were the flame.

You took a deep breath. Attempting to calm your fretful spark. Trying to figure out how to tell him. "I start to feel a bit feverish." You began and ratchet nodded at you in acknowledgement. Silently urging you to keep going. "I get mental fog. My body feels a bit weaker than usual," You continued. Watching as ratchet was listening intently to every word you said.

Ratchet gazed at you probingly as you stopped listing anything else. "Is that all? Are you sure you're not having any other symptoms than that? Because if that were the case it could be something else besides a heat cycle."

You scowled. "No" you grumbled. Feeling defeated at confessing this out loud.

You raised your head to look ratchet better in the optics. "I get the most desperate and embarrassing URGE for a certain autobot."

You watched his optics widen a bit. "Who is it?"

You bit your lip as you felt a sudden tug in your spark. "Who do you think?" You snapped defensively.

Ratchet nodded in understanding. "I'll see what I can do but I cannot guarantee that I will have anything ready by the time you fully get your heat. In that case what do you want me to do?" His voice was professional. Like any medical practitioner.

"Send me away." You quickly spoke with a sweep of your arm. "Just get me out of here before something happens! I don't care where. Hell, inject me with whatever concoction you come up with! Anything to stop this heat from happening! I'll even drink the nastiest medicine you make!"

Ratchet jolted back aghast. "Are you sure that's what you want? Do you not want to try anything else?"

You nodded solemnly, "What other choice do I have? I don't want to inflict my heat on anyone else."

"Has it affected anyone before?"

You wrinkled your nose in thought. "Not that I'm aware. It never really seemed to bother shockwave. But that mech is rather stoic so it's hard to tell. Maybe the vehicons if I'm further in my heat but I'm usually isolated from most others."

Ratchet turned to start typing on his console. "That could either be because either you don't produce pheromones to attract other bots or.." He trailed off as he typed. Then looking over at the exit of the hangar. "That you affect only ONE mech. Given your symptoms that you described."

You choked on your spit and deadpanned. Currently the said mech was out on a mission. But when they come back what will happen? Will he be unaffected or completely taken over and forced into rut? Was that something you wanted to take chances on? It was getting harder to tell as clouded thoughts started to flit through your mind. Maybe it would be interesting to see if he would react. But what then?...

"If you wish to stay somewhere else after they get back I'll be sure to move you before letting them return to base."

You nodded politely. "That would be preferable thank you."

With that ratchet extended a servo to which you climbed on as he took you to his medical work station.

You tried not to put up much of a fuss as he did various scans. Typing different things on his monitor.

"Will you be adverse to me taking an energon sample?" He asked gently.

You made a face. You hated injections and getting fluids drawn. "I'd prefer if you didnt." You grumbled honestly.

"Unfortunately it would be much harder to get an accurate suppressant made if I don't get all the information that is stored in your genetic makeup."

You grimaced. Aka he needed your blood. If he didn't have it it would be as useful as taking a shot in the dark. You really wanted to avoid needles as much as possible though.

Ratchet sensed your unease. Being shockwaves captive is no joke. He didn't want to think about what that mech put you through. "Don't worry. I'll apply the techniques that nurse Darby taught me in case I ever had to help with the kids."

He then activated his holoform and brought out a small kit for drawing blood. "I'll try to make this as painless as possible."

You tried to be still and not fight ratchet so much but you couldn't help but flinch away when he brought the needle close to your arm.

"Why don't I turn on the TV so you have something to distract yourself." He asked you gently while moving the needle away.

You tried to sit up straighter. "I don't know. I'm not used to having a distraction. I don't know if it will work."

"Here." Ratchet then removed his holoform and picked you up. Placing you on the couch and turned on the TV. Setting it to a low enough volume. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

You now we're settled next to ratchets holoform again as you faced the TV on the couch they had for the kids. Some early morning cartoons were playing that you remember seeing as a kid and felt a wave of nostalgia wash over you. A sense of familiarity as you stared at the screen.

"It's kinda hard to find anything to talk about anything right now." You gave a light chuckle. "The brain fog is slowly taking over." You confessed still focused on the TV.

"Is it bad?" He asked as he carefully pierced your skin with the needle and watched you wince.

You shook your head. "Not that bad yet. But I bet it's only going to get worse."

"Probably." Ratchet agreed as he continued focusing on drawing your energon mixed blood. "But I will do my best to prevent it."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"You're very welcome." He told you with a smile. "How are you feeling besides the heat? Any issues with the cyberforming?"

"None that I'm aware." You stated. Glancing over to look at him for a moment. Doing your best to not look down at what was happening with your arm.

"Well while I have a sample I'll be running some tests to make sure everything is doing alright. I'll probably have June look over at your panels as well."

"Sounds good" You told him. Noticing how he was already moving to stand up. "Done already?" You asked incredulously.

"Yep. Already got enough samples for testing. You're good to go."

Samples? As in plural? You looked down at your arm and saw a little bandaid, then to his hand where he held five vials of your mixed blood.

"No way!" You whispered in astonishment. Reaching out to hold one of the warm vials in your hand. "This is so trippy." You laughed as you lifted it up to examine it closer. Trying to use the light from the TV to see through the vial.

"Wasn't too bad was it?" Ratchet asked as you handed him back the vial.

"No you did good. But I wonder if me going into heat is particularly to blame. I think I'm starting to go mentally numb to my surroundings."

"I'm going to go start running the tests. You can sit here for now. Let me know if the symptoms get worse or if you need anything."

You nodded and watched as he left. You couldn't help but wonder why you didn't feel anything with anyone else. There was no pull. No longing. No lust. Nothing. Which you were thankful for. But you felt nervous how bad it would get with HIM in proximity while you were going into heat. His lingering scent was already making you feel the warmth between your legs.

"Maybe I will ask smokescreen to take me out somewhere to keep me out of the base." You mumbled to yourself. He was a good and trusted friend. With that thought and uncomfortable feeling coiled in your gut. Like the thought of being alone with someone else repulsed you. Which made no sense since you were fine being alone with ratchet. Maybe because the scenario is different?

You couldn't make heads or tails of it. It was getting harder to think deeply. So you just relaxed as you started to watch the next show that played. Numbing your mind to everything but the screen infront of you.

As you went through different episodes the more you felt the warmth radiating from your body. Did your spark always sound this loud? What were you doing again?

You moved to stand up but then remembered you were waiting on ratchet. How much longer till he would be done? How long do normal cybertronian heats last? How long does it usually take for symptoms to get bad?

You were about to call out to him to ask when you realized he had already been calling your name.

You blinked at him. "Um, yes?" You asked stupidly.

"They are requesting to return to base. Do you want to go somewhere real quick?"

Your mind lagged. Go?... Go where? Where will you go? Making a decision felt difficult.

Your mouth fell open but no words came to mind. "I dont....." you trailed off. You couldn't think. All you could think about was how uncomfortable you felt and how your clothes felt too warm. You wanted to cool off. A cold shower sounded nice right now.

"Shower" You told him.

Ratchet looked at you incredulously. "What?.. nevermind," Ratchet sighed shaking his helm. it seemed your heat was coming on faster than expected. It was only a matter of time before you would be incoherent. He needed to find somewhere for you to stay in the meantime. but housing a technorganic in heat would be no easy feat. Considering this would be your first time fully going into heat. Who knows how your body would handle it. He wanted to keep you close by to check on you. Since it was obvious you weren't producing any pheromones that affected him. He was your physician and he wanted to help in any way he could.

He quickly picked you up and activated the ground bridge. Rushing you out to the barracks to get washed up. Maybe a hygiene ritual will help cool your symptoms. Even if for a bit. At the very least it would dampen the intensity of your pheromones for short amount of time.

He set you down. "Let me know if you need anything else. I will have Fowler be helping you." And with that he swiftly dissapeared back to the hangar.

You blinked as you just staired at the direction he went. Your mind trying to keep up. What just happened?

You shook your head and slapped your cheeks. Trying to regain your senses.

Shower. You were here to shower.

You went inside and found a stall. Pulling the curtain you stripped your clothes and hung them on the divider wall. Maybe a shower will help. You could only wish silently to yourself as you turned the knob.

Back at base ratchet arrived as everyone was stepping through the bridge. First Magnus strutted in. Looking completely unaffected followed by smokescreen who also seemed completely unaware of any potential pheromones in the air. Leaving ratchet to muse that maybe his hypothesis was right.

It was when wheeljack walked through he staggered. Seeming to be completely thrown off the moment he entered the base. With bulkhead looking over at him concerned.

"Whoa Jackie. You alright?"

The white wrecker blinked in a daze before coming to his senses. "Yeah. I'm alright."

Ratchet could only hum in thought. So he WAS right. You could only affect wheeljack. So all he had to do was keep you both separated. Since that seemed to be your wish.

Wheeljack spotted the medic seeming to be in deep though and walked over. "Whatcha working on?" He couldn't help but notice the closer he got the stronger the smell. Was it ratchet? He had to wonder and find out for himself.

"I'm just going over (name)'s charts."

He looked at the screen to see a strand of CNA mixed with DNA along with another strand of CNA next to it. "Is something wrong?" He couldn't hide the worry in his voice.

"No nothings wrong per se. Just looking over some things for her since she asked." Ratchet stated while typing on the screen before turning to the wrecker. "Why? Is something the matter?"

Wheeljack looked caught off guard again. "Nah its just..." He paused for a brief moment. Thinking of what to say. "It's nothing. Just wondering." He then looked around. "Is (name) around?"

"She just went out. She will be back later." He stated and turned back to his work. The faster he can make the suppressant the faster your symptoms will dissappear. As well as your pheromones.

Ratchet didn't even realize wheeljack was halfway out the door before he frantically called back to him. "And where do you think you're going?!"

"Just out for a moment. I'll be back." He stated without turning around. Causing poor ratchet to bristle over his flippant retort.

"I need you to stay here for the time being. The others may require backup." Ratchet snipped

"Awe c'mon doc. I just got here. Don't tell me you're going to send me out again." He complained loudly. He was desperate to see if you were the source of those enticing pheromones.

"I just might now get back here!" The medic snapped at the white mech. "And stop calling me doc!"

You were standing there just letting the water drum over you. The coolness seeping into your skin. The running water helped with the uncomfortable warmth you felt but it didn't help the thick fog your mind was swimming through or the absolute urge to go looking for the mech that your body was calling out for.

You rested your head against the cool tiles of the stall. You wanted these symptoms to go away. If only you were back at shockwaves lab. He would administer the shot without a second thought. You should've grabbed some medicine before you escaped. You figured if the scientist felt emotions he would be laughing at your predicament right now. Or maybe. This is exactly what he wanted. But why?

Subconsciously your hand had found itself between your legs. Fingers sliding inside the place that ached as your mind wondered to your wrecker. Your fingers didn't offer much but the thoughts of it being him helped. A stifled moan caught in your throat when you heard a sound outside and decided you were in there long enough. It not like you weren't in the desert right now or anything and that water was not usually something of abundance. Nor should you be entertaining such dangerous ideas.

You lamented on how the coolness quickly left your body and struggled to dry off and redress.

You left the showers to find Fowler waiting for you. "Ratchet informed me you weren't feeling right and had me look over you for the time being. Is there anything you need?"

"Something cool. Or maybe a nap." Or maybe a third that shall not be mentioned.

"Would you like me or one of the bots to take you into town to get some ice cream then?

Your eyes lit up for a second as a certain wrecker crossed your mind before you quickly dismissed that thought.

"I'm not sure." You told him truthfully.

You didn't know what you wanted. Nothing sounded appealing to you. All except for the carnal urge to find the white lancia and make him yours. To sink your teeth into him. Intertwine your body with his. To feel his spark beat against yours. But such an intimately deep and primal urge scared you. You were scared of the unknowns. You were still intigrating yourself into team prime. Slowly becoming comfortable with everyone around you. Being thrust into a situation like this was alarming.

"I'll just hang out in a different hanger and try to get some rest." You told him. All in all you didn't feel like being around anyone. Well all except one mech. But you weren't ready for that. You were starting to remember him better. Rekindle your close friendship. Such a commitment was not something to take lightly. You would do your best not to give in.

You ended up at an adjacent hangar and the others were polite enough to lend you an office to crash in. They even were kind enough to lend you a pillow. Once you seemed settled in enough on the small couch Fowler left to go back to his own office.

"If you need anything just give me a call." Fowler told you before leaving.

You hummed in acknowledgement and watched him dissappear from the doorway. Closing the door behind himself. Leaving you by yourself with your thoughts all over again.

You wanted to rest. Even with the malaise wearing down your body you wouldn't be able to relax. Not with the desire to seek out relief plaguing your hazed mind. Picking and nagging at you. But you wouldn't be caught dead pleasuring yourself in public like this.

You laid there for what felt like hours. Trying menial mental tests to keep you sane. You feared the moment you slipped up you would lose control. But as time ticked by your mental awareness shrank to next to nothing. Even your short term memory started to fail. It was getting to the point you would get up to leave. Only to stop yourself when you remembered just WHY you placed yourself into quarantine to begin with. Then found yourself pacing as you battled your own body. It felt like chains were constricting your body. Hot, heavy, and extremely uncomfortable. All with that mech on the other end tugging at you to come closer.

You didn't want to be caged up any longer. You've had enough of that back with the decepticons. The air was too stuffy. It was getting harder to breathe. You were sure soon the walls were going to start closing in on you.

You walked out to notice that the hangar was vacant. All military personnel had already left for the most part. How long were you in that office? Was it already night? There's no way. You stepped out and felt unease wash over you. It was uncomfortably quiet. You had gotten used to the hustle and bustle of hangar E. How there was at least one living being in the hangar at all times.

You left the hangar quickly. Not wanting to stay there much longer. The silence was suffocating.

What you weren't expecting was finding yourself wandering mindlessly over to the outside of hangar E. It was dark outside but like usual inside the hangar it was relatively lit. You wanted that familiarity. Something about it was calling you. Or maybe it was your instincts. It was getting harder to tell. You didn't even know what you were doing or why you were even there in the first place. Your self controll must really be slipping now.

You shook your head. You wanted to ask ratchet but thought better than to just waltz right in. You needed to go back before making a mistake. Turning to trudge back to the hangar you found yourself unable to take a single step. You would go back; Only that you had to conveniently forget which one you had actually stayed in.

Fuck.

You wanted to cry in frustration. What were you even doing? Where were you? Why were you still so freaking warm. And where was ratchet with your suppressant. "Just hurry up with the damn suppressant already!" You cried out to no one in particular. Well no one in earshot. At least that's what you thought.

The scent. Oh Primus the scent that started filtering into your nose. It made you feel weaker. it made the heat of desire burn hotter, stronger, heavier. A vice tightening with every vent. Like a starved animal. It clouded everything out of your mind. You turned around and was met with the sight of wheeljack standing just outside hangar E.

Just as you opened your mouth to say something you clamped your hand around it. No! Don't draw him closer. If you do you will lose the very shred of self control you had left.

He spotted you and began to make his way to you.

At first you stumbled towards him. Drunk off of his scent. It coaxing you sweetly while pulling you in. Calling to you. Beconing. Only for you to regain your senses enough to run.

And run you did.

To be continued...

Part two

#tfp wheeljack x reader #wheeljack #tfp wheeljack #valveplug #prime wheeljack #transformers prime #tfp #maccadam #transformers #transformers wheeljack

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avacadokin · 6 months

Note

Pssst I think you should write that fucked up fitpac thing

aughhhhhhhhhhhh fuck but im literally in the middle of writing another fitpac smut rn and ive got class, so instead im just gonna dump my ideas here and hopefully come back to them later

ok uh fuck pac uses his control over fit's mech dick (he made it after all) to overload fit with pleasure in purgatory to the point he cant fucking move at all, trapping him and taking him out of the fight until his 5 hours are up in purgatory.

or fit just fantasizing about how pac could do that, at any time just take advantage of his past trust and reduce him down to a pathetic moaning mess, taking him back to past encounters in 2b2t, how he successfully fought them off back then but wishing he wouldn't win for pac

fit going out to hunt, ambushing tubbo or some other blue team member not to realize that pac was there, killing the other blue but getting so low and his armor so broken he's completely at pac's whim, trying to run and falling horribly

fit getting called "big daddy" condescendingly by pac, just to rub it in his face how far he's fallen

a big fight between both blue and green ending with them being the only two left, covered in quickly drying blood of their friends and enemies (though at this point what's the difference?)

circling each other like starved dogs

ripping and tearing into each other pulling and scratching at anything they can reach when they finally collide

pac using the sharp hard edges of his prosthetic to kick fit wherever is closest, fit biting hard on his other knee to remind him how he lost his first

pac disconnecting fit's prosthetic arm, or just disabling it, he's repaired it enough times to know how to break it easily

tearing away his weapons and clothes, enabling some fun features he added like auto-lube and vibration before fucking fit on his own hand

pac hastily (he wants this to hurt) preps himself with fit's hand (slapping away the flesh one whenever it gets close) before shoving it back inside fit

if his prosthetic arm still had any feeling left in it it would burn from being trapped against the dirt beneath fit and from the angle his wrist must be at to get his fingers anywhere near his prostate (pac wishes it still had feeling)

pac getting fed up with the interference from fit's working hand, so he rearranges himself to pin it under his prosthetic leg, hoping the rough edges leave cuts and bruises, marking fit's entire body as his

then he sinks down onto fit's cock in one smooth motion (only lightly hampered by the blood dripping its way down from somewhere, pain is pleasure at this point so he doesn't care)

fit's hips buck up at the sensation, lifting pac up with him (the knowledge that he has so throughly conquered someone so strong does things to pac's brain)

one of pac's hands is busy restraining fit and acting as leverage for pac to fuck himself on fit's cock, but the other, pac brings up to the top of fit's bald head and scratches a bloody path from there, to his cheeks, over his pecs, and down his abs before resting atop pac's dick

pac gathers the pre-cum, blood and who knows what else that's settled there, before smearing it along a messy path up to fit's neck, where he just holds as he rides fit

when he feels fit cum inside him he doesn't stop, pac just grips even tighter onto fits throat, praying he's cutting off his airway as he rides to completion

then idk maybe they kill each other so they dont have to clean up, maybe they clean up and apologize and its terribly sweet for the situation they're in

#qsmp #fitmc #fit mech dick #yeah this actually turned into a whole story thing oops #this is very fucked up actually yeah please head the warnings #fitpac #this is not pg at all minors do not look #pactw #qsmp fic #qsmpnsft #bloodlust does something to my brain ok #anon #asks answered #artvocado #artvocado (writing)

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lotus-flowerz · 2 years

Text

deadweight

TW!! INSECURITY, FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION AND NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH, ENDED RELATIONSHIPS (NOT WITH DILUC), SUCIDAL THOUGHTS, GETTING DRUNK

diluc x reader hurt/comfort

F/n- Friend's name

a/n- sorry for the amount of self indulgent fics, i don't feel comfy talking ab it with most of my irls because i dont want to worry them or push them away- im writing this because a (now ex) friend of mine just cut me off to focus more on their partner and because i was more of a deadweight (hence the fic name) than a friend

sorry for the dump ty if you actually read it LMAO

You were walking back towards Mondstat. Another lonely day, doing commissions and helping other people with their problems. All you could even feel nowadays was jealousy and hair-ripping stress.

The sun was setting, the colors of the sky mixing together to form a light purple. It was truly gorgeous. You stood on the bridge to Mondstat looking at the sky with a sullen expression, not like your normally happy one. You found thoughts flitting through your mind- thoughts you weren't supposed to be thinking:

"What color sunset would I make?"

You shook your head to rid yourself of the thought. You had been having these suicidal urges and tendencies for a while- just no one had exactly picked up on them.

You took a deep breath and walked through the gates of the city of freedom. It didn't feel like freedom to you, though. It felt like endless lonesomeness and work.

"Oh, F/n! Hey!" you called. You hadn't seen them in a while since they had started to recover from their own mental illness. You heard that recently they had a new partner!

"Y/n, hey."

"How have you been?" you asked, smiling at them.

"Good. I've been meaning to come talk to you actually- I think it's best if we go our separate ways- you know, you're a bit of a downer sometimes, no offense."

You felt your heart shatter- again, it happened again. A deadweight.

"Right. That's okay, if I'm not needed anymore then by all means, we should go our separate ways." you smiled again, trying to show that there was no harm done.

"Thank you for understanding. You're a good friend, and I'm thankful that you helped me recover."

"Yeah, anytime!"

You both waved and you hurriedly walked towards Angel's Share. You needed a drink. You and your boyfriend, Diluc, had been strained for a bit- only because you were both never home. Both of you were busy, and you weren't really a drinker. You didn't know he was supposed to be bartending tonight.

You took a seat at the bar and ordered a death after noon. One turned into two- and you nursed the second drink for about an hour before finishing it.

You were certainly an unusual patron at the tavern- and seeing you holding a particularly strong drink, sitting in silence and staring at the table was definitely not what Diluc expected to see when he came to help out Charles that night.

You laid your head down on the bar and just held your drink, not wanting to look at or talk to anyone. It was easier to look drunk than to explain why you were there.

But what you didn't expect was that the death after noon took a bit to kick in- you WERE drunk- and you knew you had to get out of that tavern.

Diluc knew you hadn't noticed him. His heart dropped when he had first seen you in the tavern and he was still worried about you as you shoved yourself up from the position you were in and left a tip on your tab. He looked at it out of curiosity and- 3 DEATH AFTER NOONS???

"Charles-"

"Go, you don't have to explain, just go"

"Thank you."

He tore off his apron and threw it behind the bar. He came up behind you and scooped you up bridal style with ease. You made a tiny struggle but he held you tighter.

"It's Diluc. Calm down."

He felt you relax in his arms and he began the trek to the dawn winery.

"Hey Diluc." you slurred out

"Hm?"

"Why do you have me?"

"You're drunk."

"No. Why are you with me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I weigh you down. Both of us are depressed, but I slow down your recovery. Helping me isn't an easy task and I don't need anyone else leaving because I made them. So if you want to leave just put me down and let me find my own way home. Go live your life without a deadweight pulling you down all the time."

Good god- the alcohol had really loosened your tongue

"Excuse me? Oh Barbatos- darling, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. I love every part of you, mental, physical, personality, you're YOU and I wouldn't change that. You've helped me in my recovery process. You found me at my worst and lifted me up. Why wouldn't I do the same for you? I will never let you go unless it is something that you truly want- and this? This is coming from a different problem. I don't know how long exactly this has been brewing in your pretty little head, but whatever has happened will pass, and whatever will happen, we will be together. I promise."

He kissed your forehead, and looked down at you to admire you. You had wet, tearstained cheeks, your head was leaned against his chest, and you looked as perfect as ever.

"It's okay. I've got you." he whispered.

After arriving at the winery, he cleaned you up and slipped you into your pjs. He put you down in your shared bed. You were only partially awake and aware of what was happening, but you knew you felt something you hadn't felt in a while. A warm fuzzy feeling that welled up from your stomach. You found new tears slipping down your cheeks but you didn't know why.

After telling the maids to prepare a hangover remedy for you to drink in the morning, Diluc joined you in bed. He noticed your starstruck expression and tears, and used his thumb to wipe them away.

"I've got you now. You're alright. Just rest. We can talk about this in the morning, when you're coherent."

He pulled you into him, the smokey scent from his vision mixed with the vanilla shampoo he used filled your senses. His warmth enveloped you, and you felt your eyes begin to close as he combed his fingers through your hair.

"Goodnight, dove. I love you."

#diluc fluff #diluc x reader #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc comfort #diluc x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #genshin comfort

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actualbird · 1 year

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woop i guess here i go− does it ever bother u how they don't really ever quite explain what's going on with luke's illness other than "aAAAH he'S sUDDENLY in PAIN!!1!1!" and some sort of nerve damage and what not... not that it doesn't make it any less sadder... BUT!!! sometime ago i looked up the symptoms of nerve damage and apparently it says stuffs like sharp pains (which we see happen often to luke through out) BUT ALSO numbness, tingling, loss of muscle strength, and suddenly dropping stuff??? so i'm just wondering if you have any headcanons on luke's illness? DO YOU THINK HE'S JUST IN CONSTANT STINGING PAIN, AND HIS PAIN KILLERS ARE SO STRONG IT JUST NUMBS HIS WHOLE BODY??? OR DO YOU THINK HE ALTERNATES BETWEEN FEELING NUMB AND SUDDEN SHARP PAINS??? this has been my personal hc ever since jfjsjd i'm sorry you could see i'm a luke stan cause all luke stans are angst enjoyers /hj i just wanted to share my brain rot to the world thank you

hi anon!!! first off, i deffo wanna say uve come to the right place both abt luke hcs (because im a luke enjoyer first, a human being second) AND thoughts about his illness

tho i wouldnt say im bothered by how they dont explain the symptoms of his illness much since narratively, i can see how this would be necessary to maintain a certain amount of suspense on the NXX drug

however, ur so right in bringing up those other symptoms, bc ive got a bunch of thoughts and feelings about this!!

for context, i also have a longtime undiagnosed-after-years-of-tests neurological condition, but it's not serious and more just a lifetime inconvenience. i experience muscle myoclonus, which means that at any time without warning, my legs, arms, or neck can suddenly jerk into movement and ive actually got a bunch of those symptoms u mention haha!

but enough about that! lemme go thruuuuu

some of my thoughts/hcs on luke's illness

wc: 1.7k

before i start, this is whole thing is going to be mixing fiction (tot's story) and fact (IRL information on certain illnesses, medications, etc). the fiction bit is important because while tot describes luke's condition and shows us its effects, does Not name what it is, and the whole thing is still shrouded in a lot of mystery. but the fact bit is important because there are real conditions out there that are similar to what luke has, based on what we know.

among them, Fibromyalgia seems like the closest real world condition to what luke has got, but since it's not outright stated in canon, i'll be making some stuff up. still, it's important to me to have like, a somewhat sensible system in making stuff up, which is why im laying down all this ground work jhvjdhsfd, and because in the hc portion of this post i'll be riffing off of some of my own experience

anyhoo, let's REALLY start with what we already Know

what we know of luke's illness thus far from all the available story information from the global server

key words in that above title are "global server", because im aware that main story episode 9 in the cn server looks like it'll give us more info on this, but i dont like to or want to spoil myself for tot's future main story. so i'll be working within global server parameters!

so heres everything we know (...or rather, what i was able to remember in the course of me writing this response HAHA), as its been outright said and confirmed in canon:

luke's condition is currently diagnosed as terminal

luke's condition mostly manifests in sudden pain episodes that happen randomly and without warning. these pain episodes are not described to be coming from any specific body part, just that it's pain in general.

these pain episodes happen without any external trigger (i.e. luke doesnt have a pain episode when somebody bumps into him suddenly, but he can have a pain episode out of nowhere just doing something as passive as sitting or standing)

immediately after a pain episode, he takes his meds

these meds are analgesics (painkillers) and he was prescribed them by his previous doctor (the one who was handling luke and his condition before aaron)

even now that aaron has taken over as luke's primary physician, luke still takes painkillers immediately after any pain episode to manage the pain

luke's condition was caused by the NXX drug. after a mission where his team was attacked with toxic gas, he was the only survivor and the medicine he was given was somehow contaminated with the NXX substance

the NXX drug causes damage to the central nervous system, and luke's condition is confirmed to be related to his nervous system because in SSR Under The Milky Way, he describes his condition very specifically with the lines "[The contaminant] caused irreversible damage to my nervous system." and "[I] will constantly suffer from intermittent nerve pain."

hcs on The Experience Of The Condition

the main physical symptom we see in canon is pretty clear: sudden and randomly occurring debilitating pain. i like to think it's of the stinging variety!! but dialed up to 10000000 because it's always shown to be intense enough that always luke reacts to the pain. and luke's pain tolerance is High. in personal story 4, he didnt even flinch when mc was stitching up his gash, but he did double over in pain, trembling and shaking, when he got hit with one of the pain episodes.

in addition to the pain though, i totally second the motion on the symptoms of numbness, tingling, loss of muscle strength (which then leads him to train more to compensate for any loss, because luke is a madman with low self worth and one of his skills is his physical strength so he needs to keep that up for as long as he can), and suddenly dropping stuff, the ones you mention. a

those are my thoughts on possible physical symptoms. but with a condition as heavy as this, there will be psychological/emotional ramifications too

because of how tot's canon shows luke experiencing the Pain Symptom, the pain itself is put front and center. but personally i also think that the fact this symptom occurs Randomly, Suddenly, and Without Warning is on the same level of "oh god why this" as the pain

in general, not being able to know when your body is going to start working against you really really sucks! you cant prevent it, you cant avoid it, and you cant see it coming. sure you Can prepare for its random eventuality through out the day, which is what luke does by carrying around his painkillers everywhere with him, but even then, that only alleviates the specific instance currently happening and not the overall trend of It'll Happen Again! When? Secret....

it's hugely frustrating. in my case with involuntary movement, eventually i tried to constantly and impossibly try to expect it so that when it does happen, i dont knock over glass to the floor or fall down the stairs

but always trying to expect something you cant predict causes tension and anxiety.

luke's condition is much more severe and painful than my quirk. so keeping a mental background program, so to speak, always running and looking out for a pain episode of his condition must suck bigtime.

because he'll basically always be bracing himself for pain, even when nothing is happening.

and on a metaphorical level, being constantly braced for pain even when things are fine is something luke does A Lot. luke is always worried and preparing for worst case scenarios, luke is always trying to think ahead to have various backup plans to ensure people's safety, and luke seems more used to pain and bad things than he is prepared for happiness and good things.

bracing himself for pain gives luke a semblance of control over something that is terrifyingly out of his control completely. at least if hes always thinking about its inevitability, he'll have things that can help mediate its effects. but the price for that control is a constant tension and dread building inside of him every second, because hes always waiting for the other shoe to drop

my ideal hope for luke's story when a kind of treatment for his condition is found

i dont actually want for the condition to be completely cured. like, dont get me wrong, i obviously want the Terminal aspect of his condition treated because i love him and want him to live a long and happy life, but i dont want all of his symptoms gone. personally, i'd find it much more compelling narratively if his condition is treated and will no longer kill him in a few years, but still causes him pain that needs to be managed with meds and other treatments. and why i want this is because:

1 ) given the sheer struggle of his condition in the story thus far AND the fact that luke himself literally said the damage done to his nervous system is Irreversible, having a medical miracle like that happen feels a teensy bit like a deus ex machina to me. (sidenote: ofc, ur free to disagree with me! and feel free to disagree with this whole post in general, we've all got different opinions and thats chill)

2 ) in general with stories, i am less drawn to super neat resolutions and im more drawn to resolutions that are more like "and things werent perfect and they never will be, there will always be problems, but our characters will be okay and theyll keep getting better and better, and it's in this push and pull of struggle and learning and progress and getting through where their happiness lies"

ever since luke was a kid, even before he developed his condition, hes had the fear of being a burden to his loved ones. and when he does get his terminal condition, this fear is worsened and he starts to see his existence in other people's lives as a whole as a burden of pain and grief that isnt worth the trouble. and...i dunno, i just like the idea of him continuing to live but also continuing to have these problems that still spark fear inside of him and still take so much work to manage every day. and out of habit, he braces himself for pain, not just for the kind his condition gives him but from Life because Surely, His Loved Ones Will Get Tired Of All Of This, Of Him and The Problems He Comes With, Right?

but surprise surprise, they dont. because they care about him. because this should not and is not a dealbreaker for them continuing to care about him.

aaron creates treatment thats more on the preventative maintenance meds angle so luke doesnt have to just wait for a pain episode to pop up and then dry swallow painkillers every time. it's not infallible , but sometimes luke can have hours, even a whole a day sometimes where the pain hes bracing himself for doesnt come.

mc always reminds luke to take his meds whenever luke gets too busy or caught up in a case. he worries at first that it's an inconvenience to her for her to have to remember his routines for him just in case, but that worry becomes quieter as luke realizes she reminds him in the same tone as she says "good morning" or "have you had lunch yet? wanna join me?", just this casual and loving thing thats now integrated into both their lives

the team are always ready to help too in their own way. when luke gets a pain episode in hq, marius offers distraction in the form of idle chatter on (harmless) internal pax gossip while luke waits for his painkillers to dull down the stinging. when luke feels uncomfortable tingling crawling across his whole body while out with vyn, vyn subtly helps luke move from a crowded area to a quieter one where outside stimuli cant further overwhelm luke's senses. when it's a bad grip strength day and all luke wants to do is punch something and fuck his useless hands up even more, artem tells luke about custom silicone grips that exist for things like pens or knives or such and that they could look for some next time they go shopping.

it is not perfect. but luke's life, even with the pain, is still worth living. everybody is trying to help and eventually, luke learns how to start helping him self along with them too.

soooo yea theres my thoughts!! thanks for the ask, anon :D

#tears of themis #luke pearce #tot luke #xia yan #sorry this ask took forever for me to answer btw huhu...im always ded these days orz #asks #anon

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mirukutchi · 2 months

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Attempt 2 at writing this lol bc the first one got deleted by accident

I wanted to add my experience to that last post I rbed, bc it resonated with me, particularly the first part where men will call eachother 'girl' or 'feminine' as an insult(this is the only part im commenting on as i am not a transwoman so i have no input on that part of the post. )

I have pcos. I always have. I have a very strong masculine face/jawline. I always have. Ive always had a deep voice, as someone who was born a girl and identifies(at least in part) as a girl. I want this to be known bc its context lol

Guys are not the only ones who misgender as an insult, or to dehumanize others. Girls do it too.

When i was in elementary school i didnt have female friends bc all of them would laugh at me and say they didn't want to be friends with an 'ugly boy'

When i would go to the bathroom in-between classes, other girls would push me out, or yank me out physically and say that 'ugly boys' are not allowed in the girls bathroom.

My mom always made me have short hair, and she always made me wear jeans(and boy shirts bc they are more durable than girl clothes. This part was. Okay. I guess. I liked pokemon and ben 10 so my little brain didnt understand.) I was not allowed to have long hair and i was not allowed to wear dresses or skirts(ever since i was little ive wanted to wear only dresses but i was not allowed to...)

I talked like a baby(high pitched voice) for a good part of my childhood bc i knew that my voice was ugly and deep. When i started to go to speech therapy, i started speaking ""normally"" and my voice got so deep... i remember one of the last times i used my baby voice it was with a teacher and another student, and the student said "hey teacher, listen to (deadname?)'s REAL voice, she sounds just like a boy!"

That was a defining moment in my life.

In middle school, when i still wasnt allowed to have long hair and dresses, girls in my health class would look at me and laugh and whisper about how im actually a boy, and that i shouldnt be there. My face started changing too, my jaw got stronger... my voice got deeper.

I think in highschool people were too focused on other things to really bother me too much, plus people *generally* by that time knew me as a sweet and quiet person, not to mention i was the 'art kid' so that gained me some friends lol, also by highschool i was allowed to grow my hair out, down to my butt almost! And i was allowed to wear dresses and skirts and leggings(mostly leggings at that time bc i was still super skinny lol)

After highschool i had a crisis and shaved my head and tried out being a guy(ftm) but it was, personally, an identity crisis. I didnt know who i was, i had been abused, emotionally and sexually, all through high school by a guy i thought was my friend(i wish i had left sooner...) so i was struggling with what was 'me' plus i thought to myself 'everyone calls me a guy anyway so fuck it' but it gave me advanced dysphoria to be a guy :/

My hair is long now. Past my butt, i can sit on it. I only, exclusively, wear skirts and dresses. I wear a skirt to work bc i begged them to let me(i have autism and pants are a sensory nightmare but also i hate the way i look in them also i will look more like a guy)

Do you know how often i get misgendered? Admittedly not often, but it still happens. Usually its kids, but sometimes i get people calling me 'sir'. I want to scoff and be like 'how can they mistake someone with long braided pigtails and a dress for being a man' and then i remember my childhood.

Also im not writing this to detract from trans experiences, im writing my own experience as a woman-thing with pcos(if you dont know, it basically means that the cysts on my reproductive organs cause me to produce extra testosterone and not enough estrogen) who has frequently been misgendered by other girls

I want to clarify that im also only responding to the first part of the post, im not trying to say my experiences are in some way comparative to trans experiences!

Terfs do NOT touch this post ill shoot you on sight!!!!! Pew pew!!!

#pcos #my nyas

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fearowkenya · 5 months

Text

Winds of Change

Chapter 3: When it Rains, it Pours

The gentle babbling of running water is dissonant in Ryo's ears as everyone slowly starts to regroup, making their way toward the middle of the central path, where—his breath hitches, sharp and cold against the inside of his throat—Shuuji is staring at the ground, head bowed and shoulders taut.

What happened in the waterway left its mark on everybody, and Ryo's doing his best to watch over his friends in the aftermath. Unfortunately, he doesn't have eyes in the back of his head, and neither does Shuuji.

ao3 link in the source, extended post-chapter commentary below! (:

i had a whole bunch of stupid temporary names for each section of every chapter during earlier stages of writing to help keep track of what order the segments were in. like i said on ao3, the working title for this chapter (the middle segment, specifically) was "The Gang Misplaces The Baby". Other notable ones were "be gay do crime hold egg" (ch1 pt1), "Get Punched Idiot" (ch1 pt2), and "EGG" (ch3 pt3).

ive been sitting on all my silly kunemon dialogue for WEEKS. im still not sure how i feel about it - on one hand, i kind of like it when you can only figure out what kunemon's saying through context, usually via ryo. but also i think it's really fun to explore what kunemon's voice sounds like in dialogue - if you translated all of kunemon's kews, would he speak the same way as jewelbeemon or banchoustingmon? it's hard to say, given that theres basically no time in-narrative save for the evolution event where banchoustingmon is center stage. that's part of why i think it's a shame that ultimate and mega stage evolutions are affinity-dependant rather than story-depedant. that said, i've heard that the development cycle for this game was BRUTAL, so i dont fault the devs for it. besides, it's kinda fun to try to figure out how to change ultimate and mega evo scenes so that they fit into a specific area of the story. i won't get into it now, but i have MANY thoughts on the subject.

i also have many thoughts about ryo. i know ive talked about this before, but he was the one to surprise me the most in truthful. i truly was caught off-guard at how much of ryo is hidden behind the walls he puts up at the very beginning. it's so delightful to me that this rough, foul-mouthed, prickly guy is arguably the most emotionally intelligent of the group. i bet he has no idea that his ability to read people is so impressive, and likely views his eye for detail is nothing out of the ordinary. i think these skills are both things that he started to hone at a young age, and now they're just second nature. although. i do think these skills completely go out the window when he's in distress.

also on the topic of ryo - i will die on the hill that he and saki have some kind of shared history. i dont think they go to the same school; there's a few references to saki probably being at the same one as takuma and minoru, and then at the amusement park in truthful, theres a bit of dialogue between minoru and ryo that suggests that the two of them go to different schools. so instead, i've mostly committed to the notion that they're …hmm… childhood "friends" is a strong word. probably closer to childhood "acquaintances". childhood "other kid i kept seeing over and over at the same place, and since theres no one else my age around here i dont have any other options". childhood "best available friend".

anyway, I think they were familiar with one another through their parents. it makes sense to me that one of saki's parents worked with ryo's mother or had some other kind of connection to her that faded after she died. or maybe ryo and saki ended up running into each other constantly while ryo's mother was in the hospital. in either scenario, a much younger saki and ryo would have been together frequently enough that they got to know each other pretty well as kids, then grew distant after their families' paths stopped crossing, not seeing each other again until the start of the camping trip. i think thats a decent reason for why ryo's not quite as temperamental with saki as he is with the others rightrightright at the beginning, and it would explain why he doesn't seem to mind her following him around and saying stuff like "idk what you'd do if i take my eyes off you" without him getting all that annoyed (relatively).

but yeah, this chapter was a LOT of fun for me to write. i really liked the idea of getting the immediate aftermath of the fight with wendimon from ryo's perspective. it was gonna be from shuuji's at first, but i think he would have been too caught up in shock and grief to be paying much attention to any of the others. ryo, on the other hand, is extremely observant and perceptive even though he's also pretty upset.

i had a great time writing shuuji listening in on kunemon and ryo's conversation. obviously i loved the duality of shuuji having no idea what kunemon is talking about while we the reader know that ryo gets whiplash between trying to cheer up a gloomy kunemon, exchanging stuff they've noticed about their friends, then being personally attacked about his feelings concerning a specific person (whose identity i hope was at least somewhat discernible without kunemon goggles). shuuji can understand the words ryo is saying just fine, but the information he learns catches him off-guard, and it occurs to him just how much distance there is between him and most of the group. this gave me a fun opportunity to think about what it's like to be shuuji at this specific part of the story - he's just had this horrible brush with death, and even though he's doing much better than he was before, he's at a point where he hasn't grown close with most of the others yet. we don't see much of shuuji having to build or rebuild his relationships with his peers immediately following the waterway - iirc the bulk of what we get is after those 10 days takuma was gone, and by then, the way he interacts with the others is much, much different.

i also really enjoyed getting a bit silly about the game mechanics in the last segment. finding random shit like plates of ribs and weird bananas isn't really addressed much beyond acknowledging that it was found. i think theres been SOME commentary about how the thing is weird, but to my knowledge, WHERE those weird things were found isn't acknowledged. nobody ever sits back like "hey so why the fuck did i find a pineapple inside of the piano" and i thought i could play with that a little!!

all right, thats gonna do it for this week. as you may have noticed, my ability to accurately gauge when i can post chapters is… hmm… questionable at best. i currently plan on posting chapter 4 on monday, but theres a small local con this weekend so i can't say for certain. my usual weekend chores will likely be pushed to monday unless im able to get them done tomorrow (highly unlikely), so we'll just have to wait and see!

thank you for reading, and as i said on ao3, im really really grateful for the comments ive gotten, even the ones in tags on tumblr. im always happy for more, and im so curious to know what stood out to people the most.

#digimon survive #digimon #ryo tominaga #tominaga ryo #shuuji kayama #kayama shuuji #kunemon

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gaywiththesauce · 9 months

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Wait one more thing oh my god I’m so sorry I was rereading your thoughts on my fic remembering Giyuu doing CPR on Sabito while I was writing I was like “wait his whole head got. Mega Smooshed. Why would he be doing CPR what is he stupid (yes)” but then. I pictured little Giyuu like dragging Sabito(‘s body) away from the battle and he isn’t an idiot he can tell he’s long dead but he just can’t accept it and tries and tries and tries and tries anyways bc he didn’t even GET to try with his sister so he has to try he has to and when he gets home to Urokodaki (alone) Urokodaki just takes one look at him sees all the blood on the sleeves of his little training robe thing and KNOWS because his eyes are so far away he’s just completely catatonic and doesn’t speak for like. Weeks probably.｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Anyways. IM ANIME ONLY I DONT EVEN KNOW IF THEY EVEN WENT THROUGH FINAL SELECTION TOGETHER AT ALL so this is all just bullshit but. I’m so sorry please ignore me I just had to put that out into the world so it wasn’t torturing my brain anymore ok bye again I’m so sorry

I KNOW I WAS LIKE "did he??? did he actually?!!??!??" and I'm anime only as well but like they have the same pattern so that's my excuse. I say they went through Final Selection and now Giyuu cries alone :) also THANK YOU for sending me this bullshit, one person's trash is another person's food and oh boy is this the Good Bullshit!

I'm inspired for the angst after my long day today sooo

(No graphic description of violence or gore.)

Giyuu knows that it was useless to try. It was completely useless. Urokodaki's technique was only for people whose heart stopped beating and their chests stilled with the lack of breath. It didn't work for people who were bleeding out. It didn't work for people missing body parts. It wouldn't work for Sabito.

But, he couldn't give up. Sabito never gave up, so he couldn't either. The sun dawned on them for the sixth day, meaning things should get better now. The sun was a good sign, wasn't it?

His little hands couldn't move faster than the rate of the song he hummed to himself through broken sobs. The song Urokodaki taught him for the correct rhythm of a beating heart. Sabito's heart didn't beat like that right now. Sabito's heart didn't beat at all.

He couldn't give up despite his rational mind screaming at him the truth. It was right in front of his eyes, so he closed them and counted in his head until he had to force air into Sabito's lungs. Gently, he did so, but gentle wasn't in Sabito's vocabulary. He doubted if it would even work for him if he had a chance to save him.

Soon enough, his hands- entwined like he practiced on straw dummies- wouldn't go as deep as he urged them too. He didn't know what else to do. This was his only chance to try, he would never get another after this. He had to do something. The sun moved positioned and he could barely breathe with his efforts. He slumped forward, struggling to keep his eyes open as he passed out from exhaustion.

It was midday when he awoke again. Flies circled around both of them. Giyuu only had one thought in his mind. Sabito's body would not be eaten. He didn't have any tools other than his sword, so he went to digging a small hole in the ground. It was almost sunset when he made it deep enough to keep him level with the ground.

The shallow grave was covered with loose dirt and leaves. Giyuu did his best, he really did, but it was quite obvious that something was hidden underneath. He kneeled down, said a short prayer for him to rest in peace and to keep his body hidden, and turned around to face the moon.

Revenge wasn't his to enact, but one day, someone would be strong enough to decapitate the hand demon...

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chiyoso · 8 months

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I HONESTLY DID NOT EXPECT TO HAVE SO MUCH GREETINGS THAT ITS OVERWHELMING ME TO THE POINT WHERE IM GUSHING WITH SO MUCH JOY ??????????????

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVELY AND UPLIFTING WORDS

i thought my birthday was going to be dull this year with all the whole pandemic, getting sick thing and burnout shinanigans — but creating a growing community... was one of the best decisions i have done in my whole nineteen years worth of choices to do. i love you all, so so much. strangers we might be, acquaintances from afar, friends from behind the screen — it doesn't matter, kindness goes far beyond through each word we speak.

and all of your words have reached me. (cough your lie in april reference without the dying)

this is my first time letting out media of my adventures and personal life, but yesterday was such a special day and i plan to do more today (birthdays over here typically last a few more days since only a day of celebration isnt really enough, depends on the person/environment though 🤭)

Chocolate Taiyaki Strawberry Pocky Pork Katsudon

Mochi Ice Cream Wendys Coffee

ME AND GOJO MERCH I BOUGHT HEHE

(will buy genshin impact birthday gifts for myself)

the name of the restaurant on the right reminded me of lyney, scara and me.

i will not elaborate further.

(also why am i so good at taking pics)

hehe. once again, thank you all so much for the support, i've been planning mentally so much that perhaps i just needed a little break from writing (the sickness and my bday proved a very nice break for me)

writing things

cynosure's ascendance

• i have no idea if people still remember this series of mine, but i do remember starting it out of desire to create a character of lust, battle and trauma and laying it bare for the xianzhou luofu to witness (cough jing yuan) so this series WILL be continued out of self interest

the mara's will

• the direction of this series will take a dark turn. it wont all be happy, but since its inspired by honkai impact... you're going to see more of powerful reader, and come to me in inbox, should i refer to old gods as herrschers? make this timeline where the universe of star rail will be tested by the imaginary tree's schemes and threaten to fall it towards the sea of quanta? i primarily have a good understanding of the whole imaginary tree thing, and i can see it applies to hyv games, thus leading me to the question of — are all connected somehow? (hsr welt's from hi3 after all)

• so yeah! i'm just conflicted as to what direction ill lead tmw with, so please, indulge me with your ideas and help me make sense of the timeline for it.

• (option 1) star rail, a universe that fought off the very, very ancient forces of what people of the infinitely old called honkai, and since the eradication of the ancient forces, they have been thriving ever since, hence the start of new technologies combined with long forgotten ones (previous era combined with stellar resources today) but all had forgotten about them in the process, them being the houkai, and the imaginary tree will soon test this 'bubble universe' (hsr) because simply; it is its law, it is its nature.

• (option 2) no bubble universes, no honkai impact timeline, just hsr itself with elements INSPIRED by the game

• (option 3) come to me! (told you im so conflicted hehe)

stellar chasm

• nngh im making a few ppl wait with this series, but trust me, i'm just studying and playing honkai impact to get a better grasp of hi3 abilities, how herrschers work, the lore and etc. and i honestly really want to involve durandal in mc's progress, we all know durandal is so fucking, so damn strong to the point where she can hold off kevin (im in that part or after so i have no clue if something happens to her, PLEASE DONT SPOIL ME THO) so yeah! i have already an idea as to how will mc will become a herrscher + getting the divine key abyss flower 😌 juuust... let me study more of hi3 🥹 also i have kind of scrapped the HoV personality? i'm going for an eden but more flirty, sensual (not purposely) type — that's all i'm spoiling!

i have 4 upcoming fics as well!

• It starts with a glance (Neuvillette, dark content)

• For you, Ma Moitie (Neuvillette oneshot)

• Neuvillette, your colleague (Headcannons)

• follower milestone with self aware!blade

that's all for now! once again, thank you all and LOVELY PROSPEROUS DAYS TO ALL OF YOU

love,

hiraeth

#🎂|·❍✧⃝·° H. — Birthday Archives (090123)#🪧|·❍✧⃝·° H. — UPDATES

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natasha-in-space · 10 months

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Hey so i too read your yooseven hc post but I wonder how would seven show his care towards yoosung cuz in that post i mainly see yoosung is like mainly the who is the "giver". And im not saying its bad (please dont take my words negatively) because i can also see seven himself feeling like yoosung is the one who "does more" than him in the relationship and perhaps may feel insecure about it from time to time because he never really had someone go this far for him, its not something he is used to.

And at the same time, while seven for most of his life have been the "caregiver" mainly because he is aware that he is the stronger twin and the one who could do something (so its more out of necessity) yoosung on the other hand has the innate need to be needed and be the "bigger" person even tho unlike seven he never had to feel the compulsion to be the said "bigger" person out of necessity because he has always been the youngest both in rfa and his family but he wants to be someone his loved ones can rely on because thats what makes him feel personally fulfilled, thats his love language. I hope im making sense

So i can see yoosung struggling in that aspect in the relationship with basically anyone he is been with including seven so I also wonder how it would be like in their relationship with seven as a dynamic

Hmm, yes, yes, I can totally see what you're talking about, anon! Relationships are messy, romantic or platonic, so it's only a given for both of them having to face a few difficulties, these ones included. Now, this is only my personal interpretation based on how I portray these characters, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt!

All I can say is that it's a process. A messy one. It all depends on the context. Do they confess their feelings to each other before taking care of Mint Eye? After? Does Yoosung have to deal with Saeyoung's avoidance like his mc's do during his route? Or do they have no time for that? Small details like these do matter in the long run. There are many, many ways you can write them getting together, and that's what makes it fun to play around with in the first place.

When it comes to the already established relationship... I believe they'll make it work. Not without a couple of mishaps, of course. Yoosung, in comparison to Saeyoung, is someone who is very open to communication, and he has no problem with openly talking about his feelings and asking Saeyoung to do the same. Saeyoung, on the other hand, will have some struggles with that aspect. It'll take him some time to move on from his previous ways of dealing with any difficulties, however big or small. This might lead to some conflicts between the two.

It's always hard to see your loved one pretending like everything's alright or outright denying that there's a problem when you know they don't have to do it alone. Saeyoung does this from the place of love, he really does. He doesn't want to burden anyone with his struggles and he'd much rather use this anxious energy to make his loved ones happy instead of making them needlessly worry. It's not healthy, but it's the only way he knows how to deal with his issues. For Yoosung, this might come across as Saeyoung not trusting him to understand what he's going through, and that stings. It's like Saeyoung thinks he's not strong enough to handle it. Yoosung has a... personal grudge against anyone keeping secrets from him. For a good reason. So, yes, this can become a major problem for them.

But, that doesn't mean they can't make it work. They care about one another. Saeyoung is not smothering Yoosung with gifts or putting up a lighthearted facade in front of him out of annoyance. He's doing it because he genuinely believes that's the right thing to do. I truly think Yoosung can figure it out. He's a deeply empathetic person at heart. He might get frustrated at times and he might need some time to get his thoughts in order, but he knows Saeyoung cares for him. And he knows when he's having a hard time. The tricky part is figuring out how to have this important talk.

It's really about balance. No relationship is perfect, just like none of us are perfect. Neither Yoosung nor Saeyoung had a serious romantic relationship before, so it's going to be very clumsy at times, but that's okay. At the end of the day, Saeyoung would never want to hurt the ones he loves most. He is willing to take notice when his actions start having a negative effect on Yoosung, and he is more than willing to apologize. As for Yoosung, he wants to know the real Saeyoung, more than anything. He might get a bit heated and pushy at times, but he will learn how to be more mature.

As for the way they show affection to one another... again, it's about communication. Saeyoung is the type of person who will show his love through his actions, while Yoosung is more on a verbal side. I truly think they know each other well enough where these differences won't be a problem. Saeyoung doesn't mind getting all mushy and romantic at times to see Yoosung blush and giggle. Meanwhile, Yoosung knows Saeyoung's gifts are so much more than just physical objects.

I guess you could say... they are learning together?

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #saeyoung choi #yoosung kim #yooseven #yoosung x seven #saeyoung x yoosung #mia talks #i hope this makes sense anon!#my thoughts can go all over the place once i start thinking so sorry if i didn't address smth #i love pondering over different dynamics with these characters #sorta like playing in the sandbox!

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