#and the fact that victoria could be cruel in his mind? breaks his heart

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

"You're so pretty."

Victoria's movements are soft, half formed, as though she'd not quite thought the action out before it started. She feels her ears heat up with embarrassment. It had been happening more often lately - moving before she can think clearly, as though dealing with two separate entities within herself, brain and heart. Perhaps Jennyanydots' amused diagnosis of "twitterpated" was not too far off the mark; there had certainly been enough reasoning to back it up.

Plato blinks, slow and confused, as though being pulled from a dream. And perhaps he was; he'd been staring at Victoria for the better part of an eternity, focused, but very clearly somewhere else. He did that sometimes - disappear somewhere she couldn't quite follow him, eyes hollow and dark. Victoria wishes she knew where he went; perhaps one day he'd tell her.

The staring, she couldn't fault, however; she'd been staring at him right back.

"What?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"Pretty," Victoria signs again, submitting to having been caught, exaggerating the movement so he'd get it. Perhaps he'd been half paying attention, and only seen the tail end. "You're very pretty."

Plato wasn't much for laughing, Victoria had come to know - smiling, yes; Plato had developed such an easy smile over the year spent with them when they could coax it out of him. Laughing, on the other paw, not particularly, though he was never able to put quite into words why that was. Perhaps he was self conscious of the way it sounded; perhaps he hadn't much in regards to a sense of humour.

Be that as it may, for some reason, that affirmation plasters bewildered scrunches between his brows and his eyes practically disappear under his eyelashes. It even gets that odd, wheezing noise he'd make when particularly amused.

The queen could only be partially annoyed and a teeny bit embarassed - he was very handsome when he smiled, afterall, one fang hanging slightly lower than the other. An in consequential flaw that did nothing, Victoria thinks, flustered, than make him even prettier.

Victoria huffs. "What's funny?"

Plato tosses the motion back haphhazardly, as though brushing the thought aside. "You're funny."

"Not funny." Victoria frowns. "I'm serious."

Plato sobers immediately, smile gone as quickly as it came - it's like a candle being blown out; a night and day difference. The temperature in the clearing seems to cool as he continues to study her. There is an undeniable feeling creeping at the back of Victoria's neck that she may have mis-stepped somewhere, but all she'd said was...

She presses on, feeling an ache begin deep in her chest. She repeats herself, motions firm. "You're very pretty."

"I am not," he says after a long moment. There is an expression on his face that is difficult to read - he does not look embarrassed or pleased, even humbly so; he almost looks as though he is about to cry.

"Yes you ar-"

"You-" he points at her firmly, cutting her off, jaw set. The motion towards her is quick and harsh as a result, unsheathing his claws in the process. He startles as she does, horrified, staring at the space that has swelled between them; he is a breath away from scratching her.

"You," He points to her again after a moment, claw carefully pulled back this time. "Are very pretty. Not me. Look." He motions to the whole of himself, as though that were enough to dissuade her feelings. It only steels her resolve further.

"You look-" she insists, touching her paw pads to the delicate skin of his cheek to demonstrate. Plato flinches as though she'd hit him in retaliation; it looks to have been a struggle for him to resist moving away, but the desire is clearly there. There is fear burning in his eyes -anger and remorse and upset - like a bird trapped in a cage of teeth, waiting for its bones to snap in on themselves after the hunter had toyed with its prey.

Victoria pulls back, tangling her paws in her lap. The ache becomes a gnawing hurt. The fear in Plato's eyes burns hotter, guilt shining just beneath the surface.

"Please." Plato sets his jaw, and the fear fizzles slowly - forcibly - last of the flame suffocated. But he does not get near her again. He is gone to that place she cannot follow. "I cannot...do not lie to me."

"I am not lying," she manages, tears at the precipice of her eyelashes. The silence grows even heavier between them

"Then," he continues at last, breath hitching eyes wide and astonished, and Victoria feels ice settle at the base of her spine. After a moment, his expression dulls again. The smile on his face returns in a flash, a plaster over a wound, but it is bitter, cool. Empty. "You are being cruel? I did not think you had it in you."

#have this half finished nonsense too idk #Plato #Victoria #platoria #my fanfic #fanfiction #plato has body and self worth issues due to years and years of abuse #You walk in another world #Everything that touches you is moonlight and stardust; turns to gold in your grasp #I could only hope that being in your presence should do the same to me #I am stupid to think so #hahaha i'm sad #about this universe i mean #idk if this requires a tw but like plato has a very poor opinion of himself #and he's not mad at victoria - not at all - he is devastated that even she (in his twisted minds eye) would be cruel #and play with his feelings because he can't tell genuineness from a hole in the wall #but thing is victoria is 200% serious and besotted #not meant to imply any abuse or anything like that - macavity is just very close to plato's surface #in more ways than one and it terrifies him that he'll hurt her like macavity hurt everyone else #and the fact that victoria could be cruel in his mind? breaks his heart

[waterforlorn]

day six. october 12th.

been driving most of the day, i think nico's happy about it. he seems... i dunno, i think he doesn't like driving much. he feels restless after a while like he'd rather be ANYWHERE else than driving the car right then. told him i don't mind driving at all and he let me take over. well, i had to promise i'd drive wherever he said, which... sounds to me like he's got more stuff planned. i need to get away to like.. do something or pick something up, don't i?

BUT HOW?

nico's on my ass 24/7. maybe when he picks up food next time. hm. maybe that's my window of opportunity. i'll think on it. it's like evening now, we're back on the interstate, in iowa. we could've made it to camp jupiter days ago, but ... i think that's just like... the endgame target location. i'm starting to think that like... he's not planning to get back to camp for a while... longer than i anticipated and i'm not sure how to feel about it.

they ...need us, don't they? i mean sure they can handle themselves, but what if something happens while we're away and it takes someone ...well, someone good from us? what if we come back and find out we could've saved someone we care about? i mean i know i only got a select few i'd die for in camp, but i know nico cares about quite a bunch of the kids. i don't really. not in the same way at least.

now that i think about it... hm. holli, obviously. not even sure how she managed to weasel her way into my heart head, but i got the feeling she ain't gonna leave it like.. ever again. i know kit's important to nico, which... yep, same for me. grey's been through enough. i feel like.. if i ever decided to have a kid.. they would've been a little like grey. wild, untamed, a little killer. fucking steadfast. although i guess my kid wouldn't have been, they'd never have to see the same shit i did growing up. then again.. i would've likely messed them up just as badly, which only make me agree with past me. NO KIDS FOR ME.

i'd not wanna see a child deal with the same rage i did if it's truly genetic, which i mean.. nobody's ever been able to say cause RAMON ramon couldn't fuck off for even just for a day. therapy and meds can only fix a kid when there's hope. but the rage never went away, so.. maybe i was just born with it and it's been made worse by this. no fricken idea. it doesn't matter anyway. unless scientists find themselves with the biggest fucking breakthrough in the history of breakthroughs i'm not gonna have a kid. pedriod.

and that's okay. let the rojas bloodline die out. sadly it won't stop ramon from making more little monsters to spew hate at the world. some days i wonder if he'd have been the same way if i was his, but i don't think he would've been. the fact i wasn't just .. gave him the justification he needed to feel like he was doing the right thing. both him and victoria can rot in hell for all i care. they always say a child loves its parents .. no matter how cruel they are. guess i'm truly broken, cause when i think of victoria... i feel nothing. anger, maybe. disappointment. but not even enough to go see her.

i know they're both alive still. fucking miracle nobody's taken ramon's head yet. i just ... don't care enough. i could go back home and feed them both a bit of their medicine, but what's the point? what's done is done and while i know i'd fucking LOVE feeling ramon's bones break under my fists... what would it get me? he wouldn't get it and compared to him... i'm not into inflicting pain upon others weaker than me. i'm no coward.

there's something in iowa nico wants me to see. well, he said experience. we'll see i guess. not SURE. but not today. we've checked into some weird-ass motel not long ago. the looks we got for just wanting ONE bed. hah. i wouldn't be surprised to find the receptionist barging in and throwing his bible at us while we're fucking. i never really cared about the WHERE, or someone watching. i know nico does, though, so i'm gonna behave tonight.

JUST TONIGHT THO

#vacation journal things

[blush-and-books]

but it will never be enough

short riff based off of ribs by lorde

Julie doesn't know how she manages it - somehow, through a tonic of begging and teary eyes and demands, she coerces her father and aunt to let her go straight home after graduation rather than some grand grad party.

They can celebrate all weekend, she tells them.

Just not tonight.

He needs her tonight.

It was an unacknowledged chasm crackling in the space between her and Luke: Eighteen years old, graduating, college. Her life progressing because the world keeps spinning for people with beating hearts, just not those without.

Every night, she went to bed fearing the worst would come. He breaks up with her, he crosses over, he resents her and blames her for everything.

She just wants to be sixteen again. And it's not enough for her to just feel that emptiness, feel that longing - she wants it back.

He does, too. It's driving him crazy.

Her mind is on Luke, on the boys, as they wait patiently to start their graduation rehearsal and she feels isolated as Flynn is sharing a kiss (or ten) with Carrie from the sheer victory of finally making it out. Nick comes up to her with a bottle of Gatorade, and splashes some on her dress as he stumbles, and she's grateful for the requirement of grad gowns as her misery plummets even farther.

The blonde boy apologizes profusely.

Politely, she forgives the mistake, and runs to her best friend.

During the ceremony, Julie finds it in herself to get carried away in the excitement and sentimentality of the event marking the last of her high school days. Principal Lessa makes a tear-jerking speech, gives Julie a hug instead of a handshake when the singer accepts her diploma, and Victoria and Ray wave with pride as she makes her way across the stage.

And into her future.

A fleeting smile spreads across her face.

When they all get home, and Julie insists she's exhausted enough to go to bed and that the next night can be the biggest party they want to throw, she stumbles up the stairs while trying to take her wedges off and throws herself through her bedroom door.

Luke is waiting on her bed.

"Hey," he says, sounding impressively calm. His smile is ingenuine, but she can forgive it. "There's my graduate."

Her responding smile is equally as empty, but oh well.

They make small talk as she lets the graduation gown slip off of her shoulders and unzips her dress - Luke shifts his eyes away, a respectful move that he only made in the early days - proceeding to throw one of his baggy, sleeveless shirts over her body and push her toes into her dinosaur slippers.

The cushion of her mattress is a welcomed surface when she lays down at last and rolls into his body.

"Tired?"

His hand trails up her bare arm. At least he's touching her.

"No," she whispers, "happy you're here."

"You didn't think I would be?"

... Silence is her best option to respond, and the one she sticks with. Her mind is urging her to talk about their fears whilst demanding that she don't utter a word that could shatter her heart that she's grown used to sharing.

"It'll be nice to have lots of time for the band the next few months," she finds herself saying instead, like she's commenting on the beauty of blood orange flames while standing in the burning building. "So many gigs, we can finish our album..."

Luckily, Luke rolls with it. "You think Flynn could hook us up with the recording stuff?"

"Definitely. Finally we can release a whole body of work. Get more label attention."

His hum tickles her cheek, her arm. They could do this all night: Build a fantasy of a divine future where growing up isn't an issue, talk like everything is good. Like everything is going to be good.

And, with a growing pain in her chest, they manage to do it.

He makes her laugh, so hard that her cheeks are sore and her ribs are tough around her lungs. Stories about what Reggie could do whenever they toured and how fans could react every time Luke and Julie shared a microphone. How funny Alex could be in talking breaks during a show and how four of them on a tour bus would be nothing short of a mess.

They share the bed that night; he never leaves. In fact, he holds her, without a word, but Julie can feel in the tremble of his matter just how terrified he is of what happens when he lets go.

As she's on the abyss of sleep, she hears it:

"Are you scared?"

For her own sanity, and his protection, she hums with a low tone.

"Tired," she mumbles. Maybe he'll think she's too delirious to understand the question.

But in reality, she's scared. Getting old, and what comes with it and what it means, is scary.

A cruel part of her is jealous of the fact that Luke managed to avoid it.

#jatp #juke #jukebox #juke drabble #jatp drabble #julie and ​the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson

[headinthestaticsky]

Frozen Within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 11.

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

Authors note:I was reading up on the Newborn Battle and saw that it took place in June... I get that snow storms can happen on mountains but why is everyone else wearing jackets in the battle haha.

"When the mako flies Up from the bottom in your eyes Then I know the twilight skies Are not so broken hearted."

Stylo by, Gorillaz

Today was the day, they would finally arrive ending the constant tension of the inevitable battle. We all stood tense in the field, the wolves were hiding so they weren't immediately sought after.

"Fleur, do you think you could track Riley? We need to know how close he is." Esme asked.

"On it... They aren't to far from here, it'll take them about... 2 minutes before they find us. They're falling for Bella's blood trap quite easily."

"That's good, we don't need them finding her." Carlisle said.

I felt someone grab my hand I turned and looked at them, Jasper was staring back at me.

"We're gonna be fine." He said. I turned my head due to the sound of rustling coming from the far side of the field. I looked back at him and smiled.

"I know we are."

I then saw the crowd coming toward us, they all were yelling. We then began to run toward them as soon as the got close enough both Jasper and I punched two of the vampires heads off. The rest of us had separated at that point as the new born vampires spread out. Two vampires came toward me both of them trying to take out my head. I dunk under them both easily and took out there legs, leaving them defenseless. I then took off both of there heads, another vampire snuck up behind my and grabbed me by the back of my neck, I grabbed both of there hands and flipped them over, crushing there head into the ground and shattering it.

I looked around me and saw Paul with two vampires on his back, I quickly made it toward him. Kicking two other vampires in the process and flipping over another one that was being chased by a wolf before making it to him. I ripped the first one off his body taking it's head clean off with it. Paul had gotten the other one off of him and looked at me quickly before running off again. I ran toward a tree and rock, suspecting someone to be hiding there. My theory proved to be correct, I saw a girl coming out of the little nook.

She looked about 15 years old and scared out of her mind. I stopped myself from attacking her and saw Carlisle and Esme next to me, we were unsure about her.

"Let's leave her here...I really don't think she'll try anything. She looks absolutely terrified." I said Esme and Carlisle nodded. I then ran back toward the fight. I was in the midst of a power struggle with one vampire, my arms, shoulders, sides of my neck, and cheeks began to crack from the pressure. It was unbearable, it was as if a thousand needles were stabbing each individual nerve rendering it useless. Suddenly the pressure was gone and angry amber eyes looked down at the vampire's dismembered body. I healed quickly thankfully and Jasper and I ran off together to defeat the remaining vampires left. They had all been taken out with ease with the exception of a few. Before we both could react a vampire bite Jasper right on the neck, trying to tear apart his skin. Jasper had let out a yell due to the pain and I quickly pushed him off of Jasper, stomping his head in. Emmett and Paul took out the last vampire. When we all dragged them to the middle of the field to burn them I noticed I never saw Riley.

"Hey... did any of you guys run into Riley?"

I saw uncertain faces on the Cullens, which gave me the answer.

I decided to track him, to see if he was still around. I saw him stalking up a mountain, Bella and Edward suddenly came into view.

"Riley... listen to me. Victoria is just using you to distract me. She knows I’ll kill you. In fact, she’ll be glad she didn’t have to deal with you anymore." Edward stated.

Bella looked terrified behind him. I saw Victoria come down a tree landing on a rock covered in snow.

"Don’t listen, Riley. I told you about their mind tricks." Victoria persuaded.

"I can read her mind. So I know what she thinks of you." Edward interjected.

"He's lying."

"She only created you and this army to avenge her true mate, James. That’s the only thing she cares about. Not you."

Riley turned his head to her, and an unsure look was on his pale, deadly face.

Victoria froze, her eyes slightly widened.

"There's only you, you know that!" She said.

Riley then began to walk toward Edward again, Both he and Bella backed up.

"Think about it. You’re from Forks, you know the area. That’s the only reason she chose you. She doesn’t love you."

"Riley, don’t let him do this to us. You know I love you."

Riley turned his head back to Edward a smirk was on his face.

"You're...dead."

I broke out of trance before a fight could break out.

"Guys...They're both with Edward and Bella..."

All of the Cullens's eyes widened with shock.

"Look I got a plan, Dean, you're the second-fastest in the family so you need to get that girl out of here take her back to the house... I have a feeling the Volturi are going to show up and I don't think they'll spare her. I am going to get as close to the fight as I can from the mountains and try to get Victoria to hallucinate again. We don't have any time to waste, MOVE IT!" I demanded before running toward the fight. I could hear Jasper in the distance as I kept running.

"That's my girl..."

As I ran it felt like I was having deja-vu, it reminded me of the ballet studio situation 2 years ago. That same mantra was going through my head. "Please...let me get there in time." No matter how cruel and unkind Bella could be...I couldn't stand the thought of her getting killed by the cold hands of revenge.

Flashback: 4 years ago.

"THAT'S IT... I CAN'T STAND TO BE AROUND YOU TWO ANYMORE!" I yelled at Bella and Renee.

"OH GET OVER YOURSELF, YOU'RE THE ONE ALWAYS CAUSING TROUBLE AROUND HERE!" Renee yelled back.

"Causing trouble....CAUSING TROUBLE? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO THIS TIME?"

"YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG LADY! I HAVE RAISED YOU FOR 15 YEARS!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GOOD MOTHER!"

"How dare you..."

"What did I do.... what do I always do? Want love? Reassurance? Someone I can trust? That's not "causing problems"... that's something a parent should give to their child. Oh sorry... both of their children!"

"Well...it's hard to give that to a child you just can't stand. You act just like your father..."

"You say that like it's an insult... my father is an intelligent, compassionate man, I'm glad you left him... I didn't want to see him get abused like me."

Bella just sat back and smirked, enjoying the chaos that was in front of her.

"If you love him so much why don't you go live with him."

"Fine... I will just buy the damn plane ticket and I swear I will never come back here again!"

"I will... Bella will finally be able to get away from your poisonous mind."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes before speaking again.

"Goodbye Renee, I'll see you at my wedding. I know you won't be able to resist showing up, you'll have so much fun at the open bar being the boozer you were meant to be. Your speech will probably be you upchucking on the stage. It'll be a hit with the guest."

Renee and Bella's eyes widened with shock. Renee decided to speak up.

"Like you'll ever get married... no sane person would want to be with a disgraceful woman such as you."

I ignored her, I stopped at Bella and looked at her.

"Isabella... get away from her, you'll end up just as toxic and abusive as she is." I then ran upstairs and started packing my bags... eager to leave.

Flashback: OVER

I ran up the mountain and saw a glimpse of the fight, Victoria and Riley held Edward by the arms and neck. Bella stood there paralyzed in fear. I prayed that this plan would work, I tried creating that image of James again but instead... my body changed turning into him. I stood there for a second shocked before making my way up to them. Victoria froze in fear, Riley looked at her in confusion, and Bella and Edward didn't know what to think.

"J-james... how... how are you here? She isn't here is she?" Victoria asked.

I prayed my voice would've changed along with my appearance before I spoke.

"Who? Fleur... no no no, she's too busy dealing with the army you created with... this pipsqueak. I said, my voice was not of my own.

She dropped Edward, which in return made Edward throw off Riley who was then dragged away by a wolf... it seemed to be Seth.

"VICTORIA!" "VICTORIA HELP!"

Seth pulled him down the slope, I could still hear him scream on the way down. Edward just observed us, pulling Bella behind him again.

"James... you have to understand I did this for us, I thought you were dead. Why didn't you come and find me?"

"I did find you...but then I saw what you were doing, whoring yourself out there after you came back from Texas... persuading that man by kissing him the same way you kissed me. You're disgusting!"

"James no... please don't do this."

"You should know...we began this by me hunting you... you've always been my prey. And now..."

My voice switched back to my own.

"I will take you out the same way I intended to from the beginning."

Her eyes widened but before she could escape I snapped her neck, ripping her head off a few seconds later.

"Whoa..." I heard Bella say meekly.

Edward handed me a lighter he was carrying, I lit it and threw it on her body, it busted into flames. I saw Seth carrying Riley back up, he too was dead. I threw him in the fire too, making sure both of them were taken out.

"Fleur... Carlisle said you could make hallucinations... but you completely morphed into James." Edward said in shock.

"T-that's the first time I have ever done that..."

Before either of us could say anything Edward gasped.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"Alice needs us to go...NOW!"

#jasper whitlock x oc #jasper whitlock #jasper hale x reader #jasper cullen #jasper hale #jasper hale x oc #carlisle cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #alice cullen #edward cullen #twilight saga #bella swan #twilight

[daisy-chain-gardens]

Exchange Romance - Chapter 19

A/N: Here it is, the final chapter. Sorry for the delay but I hope this makes up for it (and makes up for the cruel cliffhanger I left the last chapter on).

Ginormous thanks to Jenna ( @allskynostars ). You are a true superstar and I love you a lot. Thank you thank you thank you, this fic wouldn't be what it is without you <3

READ IT IN AO3

Betts: Are you free to talk?

Juggie: …

Juggie: Yep. Gimme a minute to set up my laptop

Betts: ok

“Hey Betts. Sorry it took me a bit to reply, I was just having dinner.” Jughead sat down in front of his computer, slightly out of breath after sprinting up the stairs as soon as he saw Betty’s message.

“Don’t worry about it Jug. I just wanted to catch up. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages.” Betty was sitting in her bedroom, hair still wet from the beach as she wrapped her towel tighter around herself, using it as shelter from the cool summer breeze that was drifting through her window.

“It’s only been a week,” Jughead said with a chuckle, reaching up and tugging his beanie off his head before running his fingers through his hair.

“I know, I know,” Betty replied with an exaggerated sigh, rocking onto the hind two legs of her chair as she leant away from the screen. Jughead could tell there was something on her mind, something that she wanted to share. He hadn’t seen her in person in a year and a half but he could still read her like an open book.

“Betts, what’s going on?” His voice was low and teasing, that playful smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he waited for her reply.

“Well…” she started off, sitting properly on her chair again as she contemplated how to tell him her news. “Guess what came in the mail today.” Jughead’s face immediately lit up, his smile causing his eyes to sparkle as he ran his fingers through his hair again.

“No way! It showed up today?”

“It did! I got home from my exam and it was in the letterbox! Oh my God, Jug, you have no idea how excited I am about this,” Betty squealed as she waved the letter around in front of the screen, jumping up and down while still holding her towel tight.

“Betts, that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you.” She calmed down enough to sit at her desk, the smile on her face was anything but calm. Her eyes skimmed over the letter, despite having memorised it after she’d read over it a hundred times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

Dear Ms. Cooper, Congratulations! I am delighted to offer you admission to our Bachelor of Arts course at Victoria University, starting March the 5th, 2019. Your academic accomplishments, extracurriculars…

“How was the beach?” Jughead’s voice broke her out of her daydream as she looked back up at the screen, a confused look on her face.

“Huh?” Betty asked, not quite able to put two and two together.

“How was the beach? Your hair’s all wet and I can see your bathing suit under your towel,” Jughead explained with a light chuckle, shaking his head slightly at her obliviousness.

“Oh, right. It was good, a lot of fun. Kev and I went to celebrate him finishing his last exam. We talked, we swam, we sunbathed. You know, the usual.”

“Say hi to Kevin for me next time you see him. And good luck for your last exam tomorrow. How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad actually. I did pretty good on my mocks and I am kinda good at Media so I’m not stressing out … yet.” They both laughed, knowing she was referring to how she always freaks out at the last minute, worrying she isn’t prepared enough and wishing she’d stayed up an extra half hour the night before, only to walk out of the exam room with an excellence every time.

“Well you would think they wouldn’t let you study it in college if you weren’t amazing at it Betts. Give yourself some credit.” A delicate blush spread across her cheeks at the compliment, her smile softening. She still wasn’t used to the offhand comments Jughead would make that always seemed to make her day just that little bit brighter, her smile that little bit wider. He lived for her smile, and knowing he was the one that caused it made his heart swell.

They sat in silence for a few moments, just looking and memorising, both of them itching to reach out and touch the other, even if only for a second.

“You know what today is, don’t you?” He said it so softly the speaker distorted his voice, forcing Betty to strain to hear the words she didn’t want to, a reminder she didn’t need. She nodded slightly, her eyes never leaving his as they both took a deep breath.

“A whole year Jug.” Betty’s voice was thick with disbelief, the words tumbling out of her mouth before her brain could approve of them.

“We’ve been broken up longer than we were physically together,” Jughead said with a short chuckle, laughing at the irony rather than the situation itself.

“I miss you Jug,” Betty breathed out, knowing that Jughead would hear the I love you hidden in her words.

“I miss you too Betts.”

--------------------

“Merry Christmas!” Betty chirped once Jughead accepted her chat request. His smile instantly lit up the screen as he took her in; her red and white striped top perfectly matching her santa hat.

“Wow, did Santa’s elves kidnap you or are you dressed like that voluntarily?” Jughead teased while wiping his screen.

“Haha very funny. It’s 26 degrees here so Christmas sweaters aren’t really an option,” Betty clarified and she fixed her hat.

“You now that 26 means nothing to me. If you say 26 I’m thinking less than freezing and that's obviously not the case.”

“Right. I forgot. Give me a sec,” Betty said as she pulled out her phone, opening up the conversion app that had gotten a lot of use over the last 18 months. “About 79 fahrenheit. I know that's not super hot but trust me, that’s practically boiling in Wellington when there’s no wind.”

“That whole summer Christmas thing is so strange to me. How do you have snowball fights and hot cocoa and s’mores?” Jughead asked bewilderedly, breaking into a grin once Betty realised he was joking.

“In short, we don’t. We just get to hang out at the beach and have barbeques instead.” Her voice sounded smug and matter of fact as she pulled out the parcel that had been hidden under her desk since the postman had delivered it a week ago.

“Alright Jug, I know this is what you’ve been itching to do since you got yours. You ready to open presents?” His eyes grew wide with excitement as a rushed to the closet and pulled out his own parcel, the one that Betty had wrapped in brown paper and Christmas coloured string.

“I feel like we should be doing a countdown or something,” he heard her mumble light-heartedly as he sat back down in front of his computer.

“No need for that babe, you go first.” That both froze at the endearment; Jughead with a look of terror on his face that he’d overstepped their unspoken boundaries while Betty tried to carry on as if nothing had happened, sending him that soft smile of hers that instantly melted all of his fears.

The tremble in her hand as she carefully unstuck the tape wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Jug, this is beautiful,” Betty exclaimed as she finally unwrapped the festive paper, revealing a brown leather journal.

“Open it,” Jughead instructed quietly as he watched her, trying and failing to anticipate her reaction.

“Oh my goodness.” She was completely out of words as she undid the elastic band and opened up to the middle of the journal, Jughead’s familiar scrawl filling the page in front of her. She flipped through the second half of the pages and found the same thing; black ink in the form of Jughead’s words filling up the white pages.

“Juggie, what is this?” She could feel the tears threatening to spill over the edge as her eyes finally met his. Seeing the confliction in her eyes scared him, made him wonder if he’d done the right thing by sending it to her. He’d written in it most days since that fateful Friday night when everything had changed but somehow nothing did. He’d sent it to her on an impulse, after spending most days over the previous two weeks on the lookout for the perfect present, only to come home empty handed each time.

“It’s … it’s us, it’s our story.” She stayed quiet as she stared down at the journal in her hands, unable to tear her eyes away from the note he’d left for her on the first page.

Betts, Last year I promised to love you and always be there for you. Even without you here with me, I still plan on keeping that promise. This is for us, for you, mostly for you. I miss you, Your Jughead

Her fingers were running over the paper as if it would help her memorise the words, help the soak into her skin so she could wear them forever.

“I’m sorry Betty, I didn’t mean to overstep. I just … I thought you should have it,” He trailed off quietly as she kept staring at the ink stained pages, his fingers relentlessly pulling at that misbehaving strand of hair that refused to leave his forehead.

“No, Jug, this is … I have no words,” she managed out through a hiccup, looking up at him. “This is perfect Jug, really.” He let out the breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding at her reassurance, relieved he hadn’t ruined whatever was happening between them.

“Your turn,” she said with a soft smile as she carefully redid the elastic and placed in on the side of her desk, saving it for later. He managed to pull the string apart as he ripped at the paper, Betty laughing at his enthusiasm.

“Betts,” Jughead drawled as he held his gift up to the laptop so she could see it, his smile wide on his face. It was a scrapbook identical to the one he’d given her at the airport, the same picture of them atop the Empire State Building gracing the cover. The only difference was what was inside, his professional looking photos that proved his eye for art were replaced by her photos, the goofy selfies she’d forced him to take and the photos she’d sneaked in when he wasn’t paying attention. This was her version of the story, their story.

“You should have,” he said with a grin as he lay it down on the desk, flipping carefully through the pages as he skimmed over the pictures. “This is great Betts. Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas Jug,” she said with a gentle smile.

“Merry Christmas. I miss you,” he replied, echoing her tone.

“I miss you too.”

--------------------

“Jug, I can’t hear you, there’s too much noise in the background,” Betty yelled to her computer as she watched Jughead turn up the noise on his laptop, people wandering in every direction behind where he sat. “Where are you anyway?”

“Oh um…” Jughead trailed off, looking around him to figure out how much she could see. Everything, she could see everything. “I am, uh, at the, uh, at the airport actually,” Jughead stammered as his hand reached up to run through his hair, twirling the strands determinedly.

“The airport?” He could hear the surprise in Betty’s voice and all he really wanted was to change to subject and stop her from asking anymore questions. He knew her well enough to know that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. “Why are you at the airport?”

“It may be hard for you to believe but I’m actually waiting to get on a plane,” Jughead quipped over the noise, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Haha very funny. I’m not that stupid thank you very much. I mean where are you going?” Now Jughead was really beginning to panic. He couldn’t tell her the truth, could he? No, no he couldn’t.

“Uh, Veronica decided on an impromptu trip to New York but the chauffeur is sick so she booked us on the next flight?” The question in his voice gave him away and as soon as the words fell out of his mouth he wanted to stuff them back in and lock them away.

“Are you asking me if that’s what’s happening or is that what’s actually going on?” Betty teased, that curious glint in her eyes telling Jughead she was onto him.

“Definitely what’s going on. Mhmm. The absolute truth.” Jughead nodded enthusiastically, making him look more like a dog then an actual human being as he tried to convince her of his lie. “Anyways, enough about me. How’s it going for you Betts? You excited for Monday?” Jughead asked quickly, hoping to distract her. Her eyes narrowed as she studied him, almost as if she could see the truth swimming around in the depths of her eyes. He could almost see the cogs turning in her head as she tried to figure out what he was up to. Eventually, she seemed to realise he wouldn’t tell her and moved on to answer her question.

“I’m good, always good. I’m super excited for Monday, constant butterflies in my stomach kind of nervous. I can’t believe my first day at university is only a couple of days away, it’s insane.” She settled back into her usual self as she filled him in on everything that had happened since they had talked the week before; moving into her flat, her crazy vegan flatmate who insisted all of their animal products be moved to a seperate fridge so it didn’t ‘contaminate’ her food, various last minute shopping trips, and her time spent with Kevin.

“Well I’m glad you’re happy Betty,” Jughead said softly, Betty hearing the support in his words even over the hustle and bustle of the people in the background.

“I really am Jug. I haven’t felt this way in a while and it’s so … refreshing. I don’t feel like my mother is watching my every move and I got into my top uni and I have a job that doesn’t look like it’ll be going anywhere and I … it’s just really nice, to be independent, you know? I feel like I’m finally doing something purely for me and it’s really exciting.” Her eyes were twinkling as she talked, letting Jughead know that she meant every word of it.

“I just wish you could be here with me.”

It came out as a whisper, a thought spoken aloud as she fiddled with the tassels on one of the pillows on her bed. Such a short confession that almost broke his heart. Almost.

“I do too. I miss you Betts, so much, and I’m super sorry but I have to go because they’re about to call my flight. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Have a good flight, we’ll talk later,” Betty promised as she started shutting her laptop.

“Talk later,” he signed off before the screen went black.

Only one thought was floating around Betty’s usually crowded mind; Riverdale didn’t have an airport.

--------------------

Betty quickly glanced at herself in the mirror before she walked out of the door and towards her first class. The butterflies in her stomach wouldn’t calm down as she smoothed down her hair and straightened her jacket, took a deep breath, and grabbed her keys off the hook in the hallway before she could psych herself out.

The walk to the campus only took a handful of minutes and Betty spent the whole time caught up in her thoughts, barely noticing the asphalt under her feet or the birds chirping in her ears. She found the right building and walked up the two flights of stairs to her class, a path she’d memorise the night before after spending hours pouring over the maps the university had provided for first-year students.

She was 20 minutes early, perfectly on time for her ‘mental health and disorder: interdisciplinary perspectives’ class. She hadn’t been entirely sure what it was about but after reading through some of the resources that the professor had sent them the week before, Betty was fairly confident she wouldn’t be completely lost during this first class.

She pulled her book out of her bag and started reading, figuring she might as well kill some time and try to distract herself before her other classmates arrived. The words of ‘The Princess Bride’ drawing her in immediately as her eyes flew over the pages, taking comfort in the familiar words.

“This is true love. You think this happens everyday?” A male voice pulled Betty from the pages, forcing her back into the real world as she looked up beside her to where the voice was coming from. And standing right beside her, in the middle of the now fairly crowded corridor, was none other than Jughead Jones.

“Jug?” Betty asked in disbelief, her eyes wide open as she took him in. Before he had a chance to give her a sarcastic response, her arms were thrown around his neck as she crushed herself against him, holding him tightly as though he was going to disappear in the next breath. “I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispered into his ear, immediately making him relax as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

“Surprise,” he whispered back, feeling her smile into his shoulder. They eventually untangled themselves as someone around them coughed loudly, hinting not-so-subtly that it was time to break things up.

“But - you - what, what are you doing here?” Betty stumbled over her words as she tried to make a mess out of the jumble of thoughts in her mind. Jughead was here, in Wellington, right beside her, in her university? This was going to take a lot of explaining.

“I uh, I’m studying here. I got into the film program on a scholarship and I guess our programs share some courses. I was planning on telling you but then I made the mistake of letting Arch know and, well, you know how it goes. He told Ron and then Ron took it upon herself to watch my every move to make sure I didn’t tell you to keep this a surprise,” Jughead summed up, knowing that wouldn’t be enough of an explanation for Betty but hoping it would be okay for now as the professor was now walking down the corridor towards the class.

“I’m really happy you’re here Jug,” Betty said softly as she slipped her hand into his, letting their fingers intertwine.

“I am too,” Jughead replied as his thumb brushed over the back of her hand, bringing her that certain kind of peace she only felt when she was with him.

“I missed you,” she whispered into his ear as they made their way into the lecture hall, the rustle and bustle of everyone preparing their things giving Jughead enough time to whisper back as they slipped into their seats.

“I missed you too.”

--------------------

As soon as the professor finished his lecture, Betty raced to pack up her things and made her way out the door, dragging Jughead along behind her. She stopped abruptly as soon as they got out of the building, looking around for a moment before finding a park bench nearby and leading him to it, sitting down facing him before taking a deep breath.

“Okay, so Jug, I need you to start from the start and explain this entire thing to me because my head is spinning. This is so insane and I am so happy you’re here with me and that you flew all the way to New Zealand is just unbelievable and I just s-”

“Betty,” Jughead said through a laugh, reaching for her hands to cut off her ramblings before he had to fight any harder to get a word in edgeways. “I will answer all of your questions, I promise. There’s just one little thing I have to do first and then I’m all yours.” Betty’s animated expression sunk a little at his words.

“Oh, yeah, okay. I could meet up with you later at the Mojo on the corner if you want? How about in an hour? Wait, you probably don’t know your way around yet s-” Jughead’s lips came crashing onto hers, his hands now cupping her face so as to pull her closer. Her eyes widened in surprise before fluttering closed once her brain realised what was happening, bringing her own hands up to play with the stray hairs at the nape of his neck.

Jughead pulled away slowly, reluctantly, breathing in as much of Betty in that moment as he possibly could. His hands stayed on her soft skin, gently stroking her blushed cheeks.

“Okay, now I’m all yours,” Jughead announced with a sly smile, proud that he was able to bring up enough courage to actually go through with his plan. Betty sat there, slightly stunned, as she realised that was the thing he said he had to do.

“That was incredibly smug Jones,” Betty shot back, failing to keep any hint of malice in her tone as she failed to control her grin. Jughead stood up and draped his arm across her shoulders, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss on her temple as they started walking towards the exit.

Betty wasn’t exactly sure what would happen, she wasn’t even sure how it happened. All she knew was that she suddenly felt like she could do anything, and with Jughead by her side, she knew she would.

#exchange romance #bughead fanfiction #bughead fluff #betty cooper #jughead jones

[robronsecretsanta]

Fanfic: warm on a cold night.

for @robertjacobsuggers. merry christmas, lucy! 🎄💛

“and i can´t help but wonder how we ended up alright, and i love you like no other and this has never felt so right.” - warm on a cold night by HONNE

“So is this when you finally tell me where the hell we’re going?”

It was late december, that week between the years when it feels like time isn’t passing at all and far too quickly all at once, when the excitement of Christmas hasn´t properly worn off yet, but everyone is already ramping up for the craziness of New Year´s Eve anyway, and Aaron and Robert were driving down a country road in the Dales that Robert couldn’t quite place. Now at 5pm it was already pitch dark out, the street only illuminated by the fairy lights in people’s front yards that they passed every now and again and the cone of light in front of them, created by the headlamp of Aaron´s car. Snow was falling slowly and in thick flakes, a light fog lying over the fields around them. Even with the heating in the car on, the cold was starting to creep through the soles of Robert´s leather boots, making him shiver. It was the perfect weather to be cuddled up on the couch under a warm blanket with your husband, a cup of tea in one hand and a good book in the other. So Robert really didn’t understand why they were finding themselves in the car, decked out in their winter clothes, instead of in the warm, cozy comfort of the Mill.

“Quit being so impatient, you’re not four,” Aaron muttered, trying his best to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t stop a small grin from tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Petulantly, Robert buried his nose deep in his scarf and grumbled. “You know I hate surprises.”

“Well so do I, but I still ended up marrying you without a proper warning, didn’t I? Seems to me like you owe me one,” Aaron argued, a smug smile forming on his face that could almost rival his husband´s trademark one.

“Guess I do, huh.”

The memory of that afternoon over five years back now always made a warm, homely feeling settle in Robert´s stomach that left no room for arguments. As badly as they had messed things up for a good while afterwards, neither one of them ever regretted the vows they´d made to each other in Cain´s garage that day. Breaking them had been part of the journey that had brought them where they were now after all, and an important one at that.

They drove a little while longer, Aaron continuously giving Robert the side eye as his leg kept jiggling from some mix of nervousness and excitement, before Aaron took a left turn straight into the forest. Muddy snow was thrown against the windows as Aaron took the sharp corner with a little too much speed and the car started to shake as they drove over the bumpy soil. “If this were our first date, I’d be worried about you being an axe murderer right about now,” Robert said lightheartedly. His nose was pretty much pressed against the window now in his attempt to scour their surroundings for any hints as to what his husband had planned for the evening. “I think I read somewhere that you´re far more likely to be murdered by your spouse than some random stranger you’re meeting for the first time,” Aaron deadpanned, his eyes never leaving the narrow pathway.

Robert turned his head at that, unable to hold in a huffed laugh. “Good to know, I s´pose.”  

Aaron looked over at him and grinned. As his right hand found Robert´s knee he let his finger´s softly draw small circles there in a gesture of reassurance, before giving it a tight squeeze to stop his husband from fidgeting, “innit?”

The moment was broken when Robert was distracted by a sliver of light shining somewhere in the midst of the black of the trees, only a few hundred meters out. He turned his head in wonder, trying to make out what he was looking at. “Is that it?” he asked.

“Huh?” Aaron played dumb. His eyes were once again focused on the narrow, snow-covered path to make sure they weren’t going to end up dead in a ditch somewhere, before his plan had even had a chance to come to fruition.

Robert pointed into the woods. “The lights over there,” he specified, his voice now so much like that of a small child in the early morning of Christmas Day, full of awe and excitement,”that where we’re going?”

“Might be.”

His suspicions were proven right when Aaron took a left at the next possible junction, leading them further into the forest, but more importantly, closer to the lights. The closer they got, the less Robert could believe what he was seeing. There, between the trees out in the middle of nowhere, was a small ice rink no more than 10 meters wide, surrounded by a wooden picket fence with a tiny shack working as a pay booth up front facing them as they parked. What made the whole set-up look even more magical was the lighting though. Meters and meters of fairy lights were strung along the fence, wrapped around the cross braces, immersing the entire rink in a soft, yellow glow as the lights reflected off the ice.

“Out with you then.” Aaron gave his husband´s shoulder a small bump with his fist, before he opened up the door and got out. Robert wasn’t even sure for how long he’d just been staring.

“Right,” Robert muttered, putting his hat and his gloves back on as he got out as well.

Aaron was standing at the back of the car, the lid wide open in front of him, pulling his bobble hat down over his ears. Robert joined him there and watched as his husband pulled two bottles of beer, a thermos that Robert could only assume was filled with tea and a tupperware box from the backpack sitting in the boot .

“Did you bake?” Robert asked incredulously, noticing that the content of the see-through box looked a whole lot like christmas biscuits.

“Nah,” Aaron shook his head, “Vic did. I wanted them to be eatable, ya know.” He sat down on the edge of the boot then, his legs dangling a little above the ground, poured both of them a cup of tea, the travel mugs steaming from the heat, and opened up the tupperware. He stretched out his arm and held the box full of what were unmistakably some of Victoria´s famous christmas biscuits, the ones she made after their grandma’s old recipes, under Robert´s nose, offering him one.

Robert took out a chocolate-dipped gingersnap, still unable to wrap his mind around what was in front of him.  “How did you-”, he started, taking a bite of the biscuit, “What´s-”, he tried again, seemingly unable to find the right words.

There was a shy smile on Aaron´s face as he answered. “Remember when you told me about how your mum would take you, Andy and Vic out to skate on the lake in the winter?” he asked. Robert only nodded, his mouth almost as full as his heart at Aaron’s question. He and his siblings had treasured those days out, Victoria twirling on the ice for hours and hours with her hand in her mother´s, while Andy and Robert had kicked a makeshift hockey puck, made from one of their dad´s empty tobacco cans, between the two of them with sticks. “Thought you might fancy another go after all this time,” Aaron explained, nodding towards the two pairs of skates leaning against the inside of the boot right behind him.

Robert sat down next to his husband, grabbed the warm cup of tea with one hand while the other one reached out for Aaron´s and held on closely once their gloved fingers intertwined. “Are we even allowed out here?” he asked between two sips of tea.

“The guy who owns it owed me a favour,” Aaron told him, smiling, “didn’t really like the idea of having a crowd around, seeing as I’ve never actually done this.”

“A favour?”

“Nothing criminal, mind,” Aaron explained, Robert only smirking at him (like he would ever mind), “he owns a farm a short way away from here and I got rid of a bunch of scrap for him a while back. Paid him a little more than its worth, cause he was a bit hard-done by,” at that his eyes grew sad, “talking about not having the cash to get his kid a birthday pressie.”

“Course you did.” That was just like Aaron, all kind and big-hearted, so much unlike Robert. It was one of the things Robert loved most about him, the fact that even after all the hurt and pain and injustice that Aaron had suffered, he´d never turned cruel, but instead just did whatever he could every single day to make sure others wouldn´t ever have to feel the same way.

Robert´s thumb rubbed over Aaron´s ring finger then, where he could feel their wedding ring through the soft material of his husband´s gloves. “I didn’t miss an anniversary, did I?” he wondered.

“You know you didn’t.”

Aaron was fairly certain that Robert had even the tiniest milestones of their relationship marked in the black, leather-bound planner he carried around wherever he went. There was no other way his husband was able to keep track of all the dates he deemed relevant enough to warrant celebration on a yearly basis the way he did, never letting one of those days pass without taking Aaron out to one of his favourite pubs, on a trip out of town, or at the very least surprising him with a card and a night in for just the two of them. He´d never forgotten a single one of them in the eight years that they’d known each other now (even though he hadn’t always been in a position to actually celebrate them with Aaron), not even the ones so small that Aaron needed a bit of a reminder as to what their significance was.

(Christ Robert, second, third and fourth first kisses really shouldn’t count, considering the number of times they´d broken up and made up again.)

“So what is it then?”

“Can’t your husband just do something nice for you?” Aaron shrugged as he let go of his husband´s hand and grabbed a pair of skates, busying himself with unlacing them.

Robert only gave him a look. “Your idea of nice is a cold pint and a film.”

It was.

And Robert loved it like that. As much as he himself enjoyed coming up with lavish romantic gestures to show Aaron the depths of his feelings, there was something quite beautiful about his husband´s more subdued take on the whole romance thing. Aaron´s love for Robert wasn´t big or showy, but it was always clearly visible, at least to the trained eye. It was visible in the way Aaron always had a cup of tea waiting for Robert when he stumbled out of the shower in the morning, with just the right mix of sugar and milk, or in the way he ran his hands through Robert´s hair, massaging that spot above his right ear in just the way that helped his husband relax while Robert was stewing over Home James´ invoices at their kitchen table late at night. There was something incredible about how just one small touch or gesture from Aaron had the power to make Robert feel more settled, loved and at home than the expensive Rolex that Chrissie had gifted him for his 25th birthday or the fancy holidays she´d taken him on ever had.

“Wow, right, blame a bloke for trying,” was the retort he got as Aaron raised his eyebrow at him, but it didn´t carry any real bite.

Persistent as ever though, Robert couldn’t let it go. “No, it’s brilliant, just-”

“You were up two to one.” Aaron conceded with a heavy sigh.

“What?”

The confused, wide-eyed look on Robert´s face elicited a lopsided smile on Aaron´s. “The year´s almost over and you were one big romantic gesture up on me.”

“You’re counting?” Robert´s brows furrowed in worry at his husband’s admission. “You do realize it’s not a competition, right? I never expect you to-”

And he did.

Aaron knew that Robert was being truthful. No matter how many times throughout their relationship Aaron had felt like his gifts were lacking in comparison to Robert´s, or how many times he had berated himself for his inability to put his feelings into words in the way that came so naturally to his husband, there had never been a single moment in which Robert had made him feel like he wasn’t doing enough, or like he didn’t trust the depth of Aaron´s feelings for him.

“I know you don’t, but I wanted to,” Aaron told him. Because as nice as it was to know that Robert didn’t need him to change, that knowledge didn’t stop Aaron from at times envying the ease with which his husband navigated the world of big, hollywood-worthy romantic gestures and it certainly didn’t stop him from wanting him to experience that same tingly, stupidly-in-love feeling that he himself felt in his bones whenever Robert surprised him.

“I love you more than I know what do with most days, figured I should at least try every now and again. To show you, I mean. Cause you do. All the time.” And the way Robert´s eyes lit up in that very moment and his cheeks glowed red not only from the cold as he bit his bottom lip was what made trying so damn worth it for Aaron.

Though Aaron Dingle was still Aaron Dingle, no matter how much his husband of five years managed to make him feel like a lovesick teenager, which meant he had to follow his moment of soppiness up with a dig at Robert, only to balance things out.

So he did.

“That and I can’t let  your head get too big, thinking of yourself as some big shot romantic hero or whatnot, can I now?”

Part of Robert wanted to pick up on the whole “romantic hero” thing, because it made him sound like some low budget Hugh Grant, which really wasn’t what he was going for whenever he tried to put his feelings for Aaron into actions, but that wasn’t important right now.

“You don’t need to show me, Aaron, I know.” And Robert truly did. The only thing in his life that he was more sure of than Aaron´s love for him was how much he loved Aaron right back.

“Course you do,” Aaron stood up and grinned at his husband,”still, it can’t hurt, can it?” And that was as much as he was going to say on the topic. “Now stop overthinking it and get those skates on.”

They both put on their skates in silence, before they stumbled towards the rink on their blades and carefully made their way onto the ice.

“If you let me fall on my arse, I’m gonna divorce you before the year´s over,” Aaron grumbled as he gripped the fence tightly with both of his hands, desperately trying to find some balance on the ice. Robert on the other hand seemed right in his element, taking a few long strides across the rink right away before he turned back around to face Aaron.

He skated up behind him and put his hands around his waist, pulling himself closer until his chest was pressed against Aaron´s back and he could rest his chin in the crook of his husband´s neck. “Can’t take that risk,” Robert whispered lowly, pressing a kiss against the sensitive spot right under Aaron´s left ear.

“You better not,” Aaron answered softly and turned his head a little so he had enough room to steal a quick kiss from Robert.

“Trust me?”

There was barely any room between the pair´s lips as Robert spoke and his breath puffed small clouds into the freezing winter air. When Aaron nodded in response, their cold noses brushed against each other, “course I do.”

Robert took a step back then, giving Aaron some room to move before he held out his hands for him to hold. Aaron turned around shakily, his back still resting against the fence. Slowly, he loosened his death grip on the cross braces of the fence and stretched his arms out towards Robert, still too unsure on the ice to trust himself with actually making his way over to his husband, even though there was less than a meter between the two of them. So it was Robert who moved closer again, with his hands outstretched, and the moment their fingertips touched, Aaron pulled him in and held onto his arms tightly.

“Nice and slow, okay? Just one foot after the other,” Robert advised, before he started to move, skating backwards like it was nobody’s business.

“Right.”

For he first few meters, Aaron just let himself be dragged across the slippery ground by his husband, far too focused on keeping his feet steady and balancing his own weight on the narrow blades to worry about anything else. But then, spurred on by the encouraging smile on Robert´s face, he started to move his legs. Nothing close to the smooth, long motions Robert was making on the ice, but his feet started to move one after the other nonetheless, until somehow, the two of them were slowly gliding in unison, face to face.

Left. Right. Left. Right.

“See, you’re already getting it,” Robert grinned and Aaron couldn´t help but match his expression.

“Got a good teacher, I s´pose.”

“Good enough to let me turn around, you think?”

Before Aaron knew what was happening, Robert had loosened his grip on his arms and pulled away, taking Aaron´s left hand into his left and sliding next to him where he wrapped his free hand around his husband´s waist, pulling him into his side.

The shuffling around however caused Aaron to lose his balance and before he had a chance to figure out a way to stop it, his foot slipped and gravity was starting to work its magic on him, pulling him towards the cold, hard ground.

Just in time before his arse hit the ice, Robert caught him, both his arms resting under Aaron´s armpits.

“That´s a no then,” he laughed while pulling him back up, before he made his way back in front of Aaron, who was breathing heavily. “Not funny,” he muttered, but it was hard for Robert to take his anger seriously when his hands were making their way under Robert´s sweater. Tentative, gloved fingers holding onto his waist, pulling him in and closing the space left between them. “Kind of funny,” Robert grinned, his forehead resting against Aaron´s.

Then the look in his eyes turned serious as he let his hands slide into the back pockets of Aaron´s jeans, “I´d never let you fall,” he reassured and Aaron could feel his warm breath hit his face as he spoke.

Finally, Aaron closed the space between them, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss.

What was only supposed to be a quick peck, considering how unsteady Aaron was on his feet in the middle of the rink, turned into more as Robert lay his head to the side a little, the ice-cold tip of his nose resting against Aaron´s warm cheek. Aaron leaned into Robert´s touch, getting lost in the warmth of Robert´s body under his fingertips. He let his mouth fall slightly open, an invitation that Robert took immediately, the two of them easily moving together, the way they had hundreds of times before as the tip of Robert´s tongue gently brushed over Aaron´s bottom lip before pushing into his open mouth. Robert´s hands found their way to Aaron´s face, the way they always did, pulling him impossibly closer, their tongues playing with each other until a small moan escaped Robert´s lips, causing Aaron to smile.

He pulled away just an inch, still lingering, to give them both a chance to catch their breath before he responded. “I know you wouldn’t.”

#robron fanfiction #Robron #emmerdale #aaron x robert

[cassiekallas]

⇋ Name; Cassandra Kaisa Marika Kallas.

⇋ Age; 22.                                                                           

⇋ Birthday; August 23, 1997.                                                                  

⇋ Astral Sign; Virgo.                                                                         

⇋ Nicknames; Cassie.                                                                      

⇋ Sexuality; Pansexual.                                                                      

⇋ Eye Color; Blue.                                                                          

⇋ Hair Color; Brown.                                                                             

⇋ Height; 5'4.                                                                                      

⇋ Identifying Marks; One scar above her left eyebrow, a few other miscellaneous scars from life and accidents while growing up..

⇋ Occupation; Princess. ��                                    

⇋ Nationality; Estonian.                                                                          

⇋ Marital Status; Single.                                                                    

⇋ Faceclaim; Victoria Pedretti.

— Personality; Cassie’s a sweet and generally optimistic girl. She likes to look on the bright side of things and tries to be as positive as possible regarding situations. Compassion and empathy are two of her main traits. When someone is suffering in any way, she needs to be there to try and help them. Whether it’s bandaging a wound or giving comfort to help a broken heart, Cassie is the first one to be there for a person, even if they’re a perfect strangers to her. She is probably one of the more relentless people in helping others, and it is one of the few times she doesn’t find herself being more sensitive or reactive to rudeness. If she sees someone in danger, she disregards her own safety and wellness to ensure they’re okay. Cassie is generally a more sensitive person. While name calling doesn’t affect her a lot, sometimes if they strike a chord in particular she’ll be affected. Though Cassie is brutal for hiding her pain and often just bottles away her feelings. She’s quick to respond with a sassy remark and go on. She’s a very playful person and doesn’t consider herself held back by her royal status as without a great deal of seeing her dad involved she wasn’t always raised in the royal way. In Croatia it was obvious she wouldn’t get the throne so she didn’t bother being prim, proper and snobby. She’s got no problem letting her hair down and having fun. Though a part of her always has to be controlled. She often doesn’t drink until blackout or do drugs of any kind. She doesn’t ever dress too provocatively or she refuses to spend too much money even though she has plenty. Along with this, Cassie often experiences moments of dissociation. This is heavily due to the fact that despite the fact she bottles things up as to not remember them, or her amnesia now, she still is suffering from PTSD from what has been done in the past.  Sometimes it’ll be as little as not responding a lot in conversation. Other times it can be a full on, staring off into space check out. Cassie also has a habit of being slightly paranoid and does things she doesn’t have a reason for. Such as locking the door for most rooms she is allowed to. Or sitting in the back corners of rooms. All things related to her PTSD that she isn’t aware she has. 

— Biography; Cassandra’s parents were one of the few couples who actually fell in love and got married. They had both been engaged at the time. With Cassandra’s mother being a wealthy lady whose father was a lord, and her father being the crowned prince of Estonia, champion of all of his siblings. After meeting, they broke off their engagements and talked their parents into agreeing to allow them to be engaged. Cassandra’s paternal grandfather’s were reluctant to accept, but allowed it nonetheless. The first years were happy, after being married for two they had their first child, Cassandra. She was the light of her parent’s lives, even her grandparents were happy to meet her. They loved her dearly. She was given just about everything she wanted, though her mother was determined to teach her about work ethic so she encouraged her to do things for herself, bonding with her by teaching her life skills like baking and cooking, all supervised of course.  At four years old, Cassie’s father inherited the title of king, and she became the princess and one of the next potentials to be a ruler of Estonia. At six years old, Cassie’s mother and father told her she was going to have a new baby brother or sister. She was over the moon with excitement, overjoyed to be a big sister. To her it was an honor, and she couldn’t wait to meet the new baby. Tragedy struck, and her mother suffered a late term miscarriage, one that resulted in the loss of fertility. After that, things began to grow strange. Cassandra’s father, once enamored by Cassie and her mother seemed to want nothing to do with either of them. He was always away on business, or meeting with other royals. She barely saw her father, though part of her thought it might have been worth it. He always seemed angry, or he was yelling at her mother. It wasn’t something she felt entirely comfortable with. Cassie’s mother seemed sad, but she didn’t stop trying to be a mother to her child. One night, her father was out and Cassie was given the go ahead to stay with her mother that night. It hadn’t happened since her mother had lost the baby, because her dad said dependent children didn’t make good rulers. That night, her father showed up drunk. His walking through the bedroom door woke her up. She stayed quiet as she watched him try to talk her mother into going to the other room. When her mother said she wanted to stay with the kids and repeatedly turned him down, he punched her. Cassie screamed, and while the fight was quickly broken up by a few house servants, Cassie was changed. Three months later, Cassie’s parents announced to her they’d be getting a divorce. Cassie’s mother would be leaving to stay in her estate house, and Cassie would go with her for now. For about a year, Cassie lived like this. She only saw her father occasionally, and it was always awkward. About a year and half later, her mother announced that she was to be arranged in another marriage, to the fiance she had rejected years ago to be with Cassie’s father. He was recently widowed, with a young child of his own and he understood Cassie’s mother hadn’t wanted to marry him for love. He was also a King, in Croatia. Cassie’s mother accepted, and they were soon headed off for Croatia. At first, her father put up a fight but it was quickly dropped when Cassie’s mother threatened to tell everyone what he did. Cassie liked Croatia. She even liked her new step father. Cassie watched her mother start to fall in love with the man she’d married, and she knew they were happy like Cassie had never seen her mother before. Soon, Cassie’s step brother came home from boarding school in England. He was strange, there was no doubting that, but she didn’t mind him. Slowly but surely, they adapted to each other. Most tabloids painted it as a story for the ages, love in unexpected places, and a family found from nothing. Before her stepbrother left again at the end of the summer for boarding school, he told her he liked her a lot. And he kissed her. She didn’t exactly return the feelings, and she was deeply confused by what had happened. This was not the end of the strangeness. Whenever her stepbrother would come home, things like this would happen. He’d taunt her, pull on her clothes. He did a lot of things that made her uncomfortable, like walking in while she showered. Cassie felt more estranged from her father than ever, but her paternal grandparents were desperate to try and keep her around him. So she’d go visit them, and often see her father. These visits were awkward, uncomfortable and sometimes he was downright cruel to her. But she was always happy to go home. She could even ignore her stepbrother. Even if he made her uncomfortable, kissing her and touching her when she didn’t want him to. It was only when he was home. And he wasn’t home a lot. So she justified it, considering this normal. When she was fifteen, her stepbrother was kicked out of boarding school. He came home for good to attend a private school in Croatia. Things got ugly. The small things that she had brushed off were harder to brush off. He was always there, all the time, doing things and growing more bold each time. One night, they were attending a gala and after having a glass of champagne she felt dizzy and woozy. Her stepbrother took her to her room, and finally all the weirdness came to a climax after he forced himself on her. She woke up in the morning, confused and uncertain of what had happened when he asked her if she enjoyed herself. It happened three more times. The drinking and feeling woozy, him carrying her away. She could never stop it. She just constantly told herself that it was normal, and that she wanted to do this with him. Yet, despite the lies she told herself, she convinced her mother, who was too busy with her relationship to notice what her daughter had been going through to send her to boarding school. Sure enough, she agreed and Cassie went away. Slowly but surely, Cassie suppressed all the horrible memories of her stepbrother. She forgot them, whether through willful ignorance or the trauma hurting her so badly that she’d break from the memories, so her mind was protecting her. She went on and got through school, eventually graduating and going on to start some general studies programs her mother wanted her to complete. She might not have needed it, but her mother wanted her to have a degree of some sort. On her twenty second birthday, she was home from the university she’d been attending. After a night of having fun with her friends back home, she returned home and went to bed. Later that night, a hangover driving her, she was woken and went to sip from a water glass on her nightstand table. A familiar feeling washed over her. That dizziness. The room was spinning than her step brother walked in. This time, she was lucid enough to fight him off, realizing all those memories she denied herself for years. She finally remembered all that he had done to her, and now after getting out of the world, she knew that what he had done was not right or normal. She confronted him rather violently about everything he’d done, and decided she was too much of a liability now he started to beat her. He staged it so it looked like a ‘rogue’ guard had done it. When she woke up from the coma three months later, she couldn’t consciously remember nearly the last year of her life, or what her step brother had done for her. After two weeks in the hospital, her grandparents came to her and told her that her father was sick, and soon she may be considered for a royal position. They wanted her to be their choice to endorse as their heir. Her mother didn’t agree to the idea of having her daughter who just woke up hauled away. But something told Cassie to do what her grandparents wanted. She agreed to study to become Queen. They started the ball rolling by sending her to The Estate, where they assumed she would end up receiving an education while also recovering her health.

[teenageread]

Review: King’s Cage

Synopsis:

Mare Barrow is a prisoner, powerless without her lightning, tormented by her lethal mistakes. She lives at the mercy of a boy she once loved, a boy made of lies and betrayal. Now a king, Maven Calore continues weaving his dead mother's web to maintain control over his country—and his prisoner.

As Mare bears the weight of Silent Stone in the palace, her once-ragtag band of newbloods and Reds continue organizing, training, and expanding. They prepare for war, no longer able to linger in the shadows. And Cal, the exiled prince with his own claim on Mare's heart, will stop at nothing to bring her back.

When blood turns on blood, and ability on ability, there may be no one left to put out the fire—leaving Norta as Mare knows it to burn all the way down.

Plot:

Mare Barrow is a bird locked in a cage. A nice cage, one with good food and books to read, but it is a cage, nonetheless. The only person that visitors her is occasionally Evangeline, and Maven. But not her Maven, her Maven was a trick, an illusion, the real Maven was a cruel boy who killed his father and grieving for his mother. Some twisted way Maven believed that Mare belongs to him, and while he was preparing to marry Evangeline, he wanted Mare by his side through all of it. Where she can see her Maven in there, deep away, she still wants to kill him. Yet, her faking reliance on Maven gets them closer, to a room when it is just the two of them, even if she is still in shackles. Hoping her team comes to rescue her, Mare baits Maven to tango with the lightning girl, who is waiting for any storm to strike.

Cameron is in deep with the rebels, but she does not want to use her powers, only to find her brother. After Mare forced her to help them break into Corros Prison, Mare then gave herself up to Maven, leaving Cameron with the rebels, who were desperately trying to take down the kingdom. Between dealing with Farley’s pregnancy emotions, their silver ex-prince Cal who is raging that his brother took his girl, and the fact that everyone is afraid of her, Cameron's life was the best it could have been. Desperate to get to her brother, the rebels watch in waiting as Maven uses Mare as a puppet, waiting for the right moment to cut her strings and unleash her onto the castle.  

Thoughts:

Victoria Aveyard is ramping up to something, and what that something is, for both sides, is not going to be pretty. With a point of view mostly from Mare, seconded by Cameron, and a bit from Evangeline near the later chapters, Aveyard takes this book on one massive journey. However, this whole book felt like Aveyard was ramping up to something, that item coming in near the end of this book, and will have a major part in the fourth, and final, book, leaving the taste of what is to come. Shockingly, even though this is near the end of the series, Aveyard put a lot of effort into character interactions with each other. Making every time Maven and Mare talk, have you holding your breath, and Mare and Evangeline making you want a catfight to break out. Along with Mare diving into the twisted mind of Maven, to see how this boy she thought she loved to be so cold. Aveyard pulled a twist showing us a softer side to Evangeline, making you realize that she is around the same age as Mare, and just a girl trying to make her family proud and having her own heart be stomped on in the process. Our golden boy Cal also has some dark twist up his sleeve, and no matter how much he loves Mare, that boy was born to rule, so can Mare be worth more than his birthright? I guess Aveyard will let us see. Her writing was quick and fast, making these interactions between the characters worth the middle three hundred pages where nothing major was happening. With a marriage happening, one that you probably saw coming but did not want to, alliances formed and broken, hearts filled and then left shattered, Aveyard is preparing us for the final book, one that I do not think any of us are ready for.  

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#King's Cage #victoria aveyard #book review #Red Queen

[imgilmoregirl]

A Thing Between Light And Darkness (Chapter 12)

AO3 Link

Rumford couldn't see anything and it frustrated him like nothing else could. He was used to keeping an eye in everything that happened around Storybrooke through Pongo's eyes and it always made him feel powerful, because he knew everything about everyone and had all the secrets and information the residents wanted to hid. However, now sitting at the Lunae Libri with Belle in his arms, he was paralyzed, the echoes of the conversation Gideon had with Victoria Belfrey making his head spin, because even all those miles away from his house, Rum could feel that his boy was in danger and that there was magic in that woman.

He looked down at Belle, curled in his lap, analysing the chain he had brought while she procured something in one of her beloved books, completely unaware of what was happening in his mind. Belle mumbled something under her breath, flipping up a page and Gold slid his hands down her arms, bringing her close to his chest in a fail attempt to calm his descompassed heart. Breathing in the sweet essence of her shampoo he gave herself the luxury of fearing for just another second before he did what he should.

"There is something wrong with Gideon," Rumford forced himself to whisper to Belle.

She dropped the book to her lap, turning her had to take a look at his unexpessive face, appearing to be trying to understand if she in fact had heard him right.

"What?"

"There is someone dangerous in the house," he repeated and this time he lifted her petite body alongside with his as he stood up and disappeared from the library, leaving Belle alone, confused and terrified.

Gold materialized in the front door of Isabelle's house, getting a hold of the handrail when he felt his knees get weak; he hadn't used that ability in a long while because it took a lot of his strength and left him in need of feeding himself again. But at least he was there, right where his son needed him. And apparently Rum hadn't been the only one who came in Gideon's rescue, because he saw Alice appearing magically down the street. He had to admit that she was getting better in controlling her powers, although he wasn't much happy to see her there, putting herself in danger.

But glancing away from his niece, he could see the woman that tried to break into the house, dressed in fine clothes, her short hair perfectly straightened behind her ears. Rumford grunted at her, moving into Victoria's direction with a swift movement. He abruptly pressed her against the wall, hands closing tightly around her arms, enough to hurt, but it only caused a wide calm smile to take her lips and that was when he felt the tingle of magic and recognition on his fingers. Then, that deep laugh he so remembered came from the woman's throat, but in a voice, that wasn't Belfrey's at all.

"Hello, Rumford."

She dissipated from there as if her body was made of smoke, and Rum's hands hit the cold wall as he felt like the research Belle spent so many time making, was finally showing up, like an old prophecy. For a long moment, he was just frozen in place, until Alice passed by him, running through the opened door and he followed her as quick as he could, having his first vision of his son laying flaccid on the floor.

"Gideon!" Alice exclaimed kneeling beside her cousin. "Oh, Gideon, wake up!"

There were tears in her eyes; she was clearly afraid of what might happen to the boy. Alice never had real friends, she was a very closed person and the fact that people always noticed how odd she was made them keep their distance, so Gideon was the first to be there for and Gold knew that losing his friendship terrified her. However, the prospect of something bad happening to his boy didn't do any good for Rum either and he needed to be sure that Gideon was fine.

"Get out of the way, Alice," the Incubus commanded.

Alice stepped back and he used his powers to lift his son's body to the couch. His niece followed him to the living room and sat by Gideon's side with a haunted expression in her face.

"He is pale," she murmured.

"He fainted and bumped his head,' Gold answered noticing some traces of blood in the back of Gideon's head. "Go fetch some water for when he wakes."

The girl gave him a glare that clearly said this was the last thing she wanted to do, but Alice knew better than to disobey her uncle, so she nodded and headed to the kitchen. Rum slid to the centre table, taking a seat while watching for his unconscious son and though what he should do now.

"Rumford?" He heard Isabelle’s voice calling from the doorstep and suddenly remembered that he had left her alone in the library.

"In the living room!"

There was a muffled noise echoing in the corridors, which he was sure to be the attrite of her high heels against the floor and then, Belle appeared, dropping her hand-bag to the floor and immediately rushing to Gideon’s side, her hair falling to her face when she took their son’s hand in hers and kissed his knuckles.

"Oh, my poor boy," she whispered, touching his pale face.

They watched as Gideon suddenly jumped on the sofa, sitting quickly, scanning the living room with wide eyes, not even giving himself the needed time to awake properly.

"Where is she?" He questioned exasperatedly. "Where is Victoria?"

"Yeah, explain him where she is," Mrs. Potts said as she entered the living room, carrying her grocery bags and being followed by Alice, who was coming from the kitchen.

The challenge was explicit on the housekeeper’s tone. She and Gold had never been on good terms, both because in the past each one claimed to know the best for Belle and that was the opposite of what the other had in mind, but also because, her, as a human who used magical sources for protection and foreseen, loathed the ones linked with the darkness.

"Gideon, that was not Victoria Belfrey," Rumford started, carefully. "It might be her body, but she was someone else, just disguised."

"Who?"

"Eloise," the Incubus answered.

At this information, Alice got startled, glancing directly at him for the first time since she had come back with the water.

"Eloise, like my mother?"

"Exactly your mother," it was Belle who answered, gently petting Gideon’s hair and avoiding the girl’s eyes.

She hated being the one to tell this to Alice, but she also felt like it was her duty, and only hers, to share this information, because it was Belle who found out, that not just Malcolm, but also Eloise was alive.

"But I thought she was dead," Alice mumbled, confused, blinking her eyes repeatedly to keep her tears from falling down her cheeks.

Reaching for the pocket of her coat, Belle took the chain from there and handed it to Rumford, who held her glance for some long seconds, before nodding understanding, because they both knew it was time for the secrets of this family to end.

"Take it, you two,” Gold said, offering the chain to his nice and gesticulating for Gideon to come join her, “it might explain some things."

Standing up, Gideon made his way to Alice and closed his hand right above hers, where the chain rested and they were dragged, like every single time before, to another place in another time. But today they were inside a beautiful, cosy living room, with pastel-pinkish walls, dark golden curtains and wooden brown furniture, however, the scene happening in there was very far away from being beautiful.

A tall, dark-haired man with intense blue eyes, dressed all in black stood in one of the ends of the room, a baby girl wrapped in a red blanket in his arms. A woman stood before him, some of her hair braided and falling around her shoulders; she had a cold expression in her face as she made a quick flourish with her left hand and the curtains started to burn, alongside with most of the furniture.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?” the man shouted at her, angrily. “Eloise, stop it."

"No," she shook her head, eyes narrowing with determination. "I fought darkness for long enough."

Lowering his gaze to the child in his arms, the man, who as mad as he seemed to be with Eloise, still looked surprisingly fearless, for the first time appeared to be pretty aware that the house was getting full of smoke and the flames approached him at each passing second.

"But the baby - " he started, unsure, rubbing the little girl’s back repeatedly. "You can't do this to Alice."

Eloise’s eyes stopped in Alice’s little form. She was a very calm baby, and was distractedly sucking at her thumb, head laid against her father’s chest as she faced her cruel mother.

"He told me if I let go of this family, then I can be in control of myself. No more fights with a fate I didn't choose."

"Eloise, please,” the man begged, “you can't let Malcolm delude you this way. This is a lie and you know it!"

"If I can't trust my father, then I'm lost," Eloise said, stepping back. "I'm sorry, Killian."

The image got blurry and suddenly they weren’t inside the Jones’ living room anymore, but in the middle of the wreckage the house had become, reduced to ashes. Two people stood there in the dark of the night, facing the doomed place while the rain soaked their clothes.

"She destroyed this place," Regina murmured, folding her arms against her chest, feeling cold, "and everyone inside."

There was a loud squeal and Rumford stepped forward, using his powers to remove some of the ruins that were hiding the tiny babe, which cried aloud, probably starving by now. He bent and picked her up, facing her dust covered face.

"No, not everyone," he mumbled, both to Regina and to himself. "Hello, Alice."

The vision dissipated and in the next moment, they were back to Gideon’s house and Alice was letting the chain fall to the floor as she took a step back, shaking her head and allowing some tears to ran free down her face. Rumford stood up, coming closer to touch her arm, but she shifted away from him.

"Alice."

"You lied to me," the girl accused. "She killed my father and she tried to kill me!"

"I wanted to protect you," Gold tried to defend himself.

It hurt him to see her suffering, because Alice was the closest thing he had of a daughter; he raised her ever since that day when they found her alone in the rain – one he was pretty sure her powers must have invocated at some point, as it was the only explanation for her being the only survivor in that fire, when her father, who was a powerful Caster, couldn’t make out of there himself – he had spent more time with her, than he did his own child. Rumford didn’t want to see her hurt and he knew the truth was painful.

"That's not protection, uncle Rum," Alice cried. "Why is she after Gideon?"

"Because what I feared the most happened. Malcolm knows that Gideon is my son."

"And why would that matter to him?"

He took a longer breath, knowing this was the time for truth, it was now or never and if he wasn’t sincere with them now, he would probably end up being hated by all the people he loved.

"Malcolm is trying to create a new species of Incubus, one which light doesn't bother them in any aspect, one that can live without having to feed so often," Rumford explained. "He tried combining Incubus and Succubus with every kind of powerful Caster he knows, but he didn't try breeding with a Mortal."

"Gideon is what he is looking for," Belle concluded.

The boy blinked.

"Am I?"

"We don't know yet, sweetheart," she tried to give him a little smile. "But as you grown old we will be able to find out."

"However," Mrs. Potts added. "No one will be able to find anything out if Malcolm takes him away first. We need to protect ourselves; Victoria only didn't enter this house because of my protective methods."

"Marking the door with salt and evoking the death never made anyone a hero," Rum remarked, narrowing his eyes at her.

Mrs. Potts bounced between the tips of her toes and the balls of her feet, apparently trying to control himself before she could manage to attack Rumford, in a surge of rage. She walked dangerously slow to him, resting her hands on her hips.

"If I were you I wouldn't question me, because Gideon would most certainly be a part of my death brigade if it wasn't for my own ways of protection."

"Old witches," Rumford grumbled under his breath.

Belle poked him on the ribs with her elbow, giving a fake smile to the housekeeper, in an attempt to keep them from killing each other. Alice was still crying; Gideon was still in shock. There was a lot to settle down and the last thing they needed was to have another matter to deal with.

"Mrs. Potts, you can go to sleep," Belle suggested. "I can take care of this."

The housekeeper gave her an angry glare.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow, Isabelle," she warned, then making her way to the kitchen to quickly leave the grocery on the counter, before going to her room.

A sigh of relief left Belle as she turned around to face the other expectant faces, two which didn't get exactly what they wanted that night and seemed to be pretty angry.

"Who wants a cup of tea?"

"Mama, the last thing anyone wants right now is a cup of tea," Gideon breathed. "I'll take Alice upstairs, so she can calm down."

Getting a grip on his cousin's arm, Gideon dragged her upstairs, as Rumford hugged Belle from behind hiding his face on her hair.

"Did they just cut us out of their conversation?"

"We are the bad parents right now, sweetheart," Rum shrugged.

"Yeah, so it seems," Isabelle agreed with a snort. "Will you take my tea?"

"Of course."

Departing from him, Belle went to the kitchen, where she settled all the groceries Mrs. Potts had brought on their right places, before managing to find the teapot and putting some water to boil. Rumford sat by the breakfast table, watching her do those methodical, simple things and wishing life could be just that easy. He couldn't help wishing to be only human.

It took no much time for them to be sat side by side with cups filled with hot tea in their hands, sipping and thinking, minds too far away from there. The presence of the other was calming for them, soothing, even, and they didn't need much but to have this quiet moment. However, it was impossible for Rum to keep in silence for much time.

"I'm sorry, Belle," he started, reaching for her hand, "I wish there was something I could do to stop my father."

"We will find a way," she guaranteed him with that secure smile, which was always able to make his heart race.

Belle was a safe haven for him. He had no idea how he managed to spend so many time away from her, but he didn't want to lose that woman never again. She was neutral, she was rational, she was a thing between light and darkness where desperation didn't exist and he hated the fact he was the one ruining the peace she should have.

"He is planning in using both of them," Gold told her, rubbing circles in her soft skin. "Gideon and Alice."

"Alice?" Belle inquired.

Rumford nodded.

"Her birthday will happen in the day of the most powerful eclipse in two hundred years. The first ever since the one that cursed our family."

He saw when things made sense in her mind, her eyes shinned as they always did when she reached some kind of wanted acknowledge and she left her teacup aside, moving in the chair so she was looking right on his eyes.

"Do you think she can choose Light or Darkness?"

"I think my father might be betting on that, yes," he confirmed, pulling her close. "Come here."

Passing a leg each side of his, Belle kissed him passionately, giving a little of the strength he had lost while using his powers earlier. His fingers carded her hair and she spread kisses along his jaw, nervous hands stroking his back.

"I love you, Rum, but I'm afraid," she confessed.

"Don't worry for now, alright?" Gold whispered, promessing: "I'll take care of this."

And he never in his life broke a promise he did, so obviously that wouldn't be the moment he would choose to do so, but there was a price, he knew it very well. When the time came and Rumford had to inevitably face his father again, he would make sure the rest his family stayed safe, but he never promised safety for himself.

#rumbelle fic #rumbelle #mine #writing #rumplestiltskin #belle french #gideon gold #alice jones #ao3 #fanfiction

[gaysparklepires]

15. Pressure

It was spring break in Forks again. When I woke up on Monday morning, I lay in bed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I’d been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn’t some kind of tradition forming.

Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push. I’d spent Sunday mostly on the beach, while Charlie hung out with Billy at the Blacks’ house. I was supposed to be with Jacob, but Jacob had other things to do, so I wandered alone, keeping the secret from Charlie.

When Jacob dropped in to check on me, he apologized for ditching me so much. He told me his schedule wasn’t always this crazy, but until Victoria was stopped, the wolves were on red alert.

When we walked along the beach now, we always held hands.

This made me think about what Jared had said, about Jacob involving his “boyfriend.” I supposed that was exactly what it looked like from the outside. Yet, the truth was I didn’t know what Jacob and I were. We were friends—best friends. I trusted him implicitly, and I adored Jacob. He meant so much to me, he had been so important in my healing process, and he accepted me for who I was—broken heart, and all. Did I mind that we looked like a couple from the outside? Even if it wasn’t really true? I knew Jacob would have loved for things to be what they appeared. Either way, his hand felt nice as it warmed mine, and I didn’t protest.

I worked Tuesday afternoon—Jacob followed me on his bike to make sure I arrived safely—and Mike noticed.

“Are you dating that kid from La Push?” He asked, poorly disguising the resentment in his tone.

I shrugged. “Not in the technical sense of the word, I guess. I do spend most of my time with Jacob, though. He’s my best friend.”

Mike’s eyes narrowed shrewdly. “Don’t kid yourself, Beau. The guy’s head over heels for you.”

“I know,” I sighed. “Life is complicated.”

“And life is cruel,” Mike said under his breath.

I supposed that was an easy assumption to make, too.

That night, Sam and Emily joined Charlie and me for dessert at Billy’s house. Emily brought a cake that would have won over a harder man than Charlie. I could see, as the conversation flowed naturally through a range of casual subjects, that any worries Charlie might have harbored about gangs in La Push were being dissolved.

Jake and I skipped out early, to get some privacy. We went out to his garage and sat in the Rabbit. Jacob leaned his head back, his face drawn with exhaustion.

“You need some sleep, Jake.” I ran my hand through his hair.

“I’ll get around to it.”

He reached up and took my hand in his. His skin was blazing on mine.

“Is that one of those wolf things?” I asked him. “The heat, I mean.”

“Yeah. We run a little warmer than the normal people. About one-oh-eight, one-oh-nine. I never get cold anymore. I could stand like this”—he gestured to his bare torso—“in a snowstorm and it wouldn’t bother me. The flakes would turn to rain where I stood.”

“And you all heal fast—that’s a wolf thing, too?”

“Yeah, wanna see? It’s pretty cool.” His eyes flipped open and he grinned. He reached around me to the glove compartment and dug around for a minute. His hand came out with a pocketknife.

“No, I do not want to see!” I practically shouted as soon as I realized what he was thinking. “Put that away!”

Jacob chuckled, but shoved the knife back where it belonged. “Fine. It’s a good thing we heal, though. You can’t go see just any doctor when you’re running a temperature that should mean you’re dead.”

“No, I guess not.” I thought about that for a minute. “…And being so big—that’s part of it? Is that why you’re all worried about Quil?”

“That and the fact that Quil’s grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on his forehead.” Jacob’s face turned hopeless. “It won’t be long now. There’s no exact age… it just builds and builds and then suddenly—“ He broke off, and it was a moment before he could speak again. “Sometimes, if you get really upset or something, that can trigger it early. But I wasn’t upset about anything—I was happy.” He laughed bitterly. “Because of you, mostly. That’s why it didn’t happen to me sooner. Instead it just kept on building inside of me—I was like a time bomb. You know what set me off? I got back from that movie and Billy said I looked weird. That was all, but I just snapped. And then I—I exploded. I almost ripped his face off—my own father!” He shuddered, and his face paled.

“Is it really bad, Jake?” I asked anxiously, wishing I had some way to help him. “Are you miserable?”

“No, I’m not miserable,” he told me. “Not anymore. Not now that you know. That was hard, before.” He leaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head. I instinctively moved into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He was quiet for a moment, and just held me gently. I wondered what he was thinking about.

“What’s the hardest part?” I whispered, still wishing I could help.

“The hardest part is feeling… out of control,” he said slowly. “Feeling like I can’t be sure of myself—like maybe you shouldn’t be around me, like maybe nobody should. Like I’m a monster who might hurt somebody. You’ve seen Emily. Sam lost control of his temper for just one second… and she was standing too close. And now there’s nothing he can ever do to put it right again. I hear his thoughts—I know what that feels like…

“Who wants to be a nightmare, a monster?

“And then, the way it comes so easily to me, the way I’m better at it than the rest of them—does that make me even less human than Embry or Sam?”

“No, it makes you more awesome.” I tried to smile, but it was hard.

I still felt a soft chuckle rumble in his chest. “Thanks, Beau.” He sighed deeply after a moment. “Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m losing myself.”

“Is it hard? To find yourself again?”

“At first,” he said. “It takes some practice to phase back and forth. But it’s easier for me.”

“Why?” I wondered.

“Because Ephraim Black was my father’s grandfather, and Quil Ateara was my mother’s grandfather.”

“Quil?” I asked in confusion.

“His great-grandfather,” Jacob clarified. “The Quil you know is my second cousin.”

“But why does it matter who your great-grandfathers are?”

“Because Ephraim and Quil were in the last pack. Levi Uley was the third. It’s in my blood on both sides. I never had a chance. Like Quil doesn’t have a chance.”

His expression was bleak.

“What’s the very best part?” I asked, hoping to cheer him up.

“The best part,” he said, suddenly smiling again, “is the speed.”

“Better than our motorcycles?”

He nodded, enthusiastic. “There’s no comparison.”

“How fast can you…?”

“Run?” he finished my question. “Fast enough. What can I measure it by? We caught… what was his name? Laurent? I imagine that means more to you than it would to someone else.”

It did mean something to me. I couldn’t imagine that—the wolves running faster than a vampire. When the Cullens ran, they all but turned invisible with speed.

“So, tell me something I don’t know,” he said. “Something about vampires. How did you stand it, being around them? Didn’t it creep you out?”

“No,” I leaned back to look at his face, “I guess it didn’t.”

Something about my tone made him thoughtful for a moment. He took my hand in his again.

“Say, why’d your bloodsucker kill that James, anyway?” he asked suddenly.

“James was trying to kill me—it was like a game for him. He lost. Do you remember last spring when I was in the hospital down in Phoenix?”

Jacob sucked in a breath. “He got that close?”

“He got very, very close.” I stroked my scar. Jacob noticed, because he held the hand I moved.

“What’s that?” He traded hands, examining my right. “This is your funny scar, the cold one.” He looked at it closer, with new eyes, and gasped.

“Yes, it’s what you think it is,” I said. “James bit me.”

His eyes bulged, and his face turned a strange, sallow color under the russet surface. He looked like he was about to be sick.

“But if he bit you…? Shouldn’t you be…?” He choked.

“Edward saved me twice,” I whispered. “He sucked the venom out—you know, like with a rattlesnake.” I twitched as the pain lashed around the edges of the hole.

But I wasn’t the only one twitching. I could feel Jacob’s whole body trembling next to mine. Even the car shook.

“Careful, Jake. Easy.” I put my hands on either side of his face. “Calm down, ok?”

“Yeah,” he panted. “Calm.” He looked straight into my eyes and took a few deep breaths. After a moment, only his hands were shaking.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, almost. Tell me something else. Give me something else to think about.”

“What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” He had his eyes closed now, concentrating. “The extra stuff I guess. Did any of the other Cullens have… extra talents? Like the mind reading?”

I hesitated a second. This felt like a question he would ask of his spy, not his friend. But what was the point of hiding what I knew? It didn’t matter now, and it would help him control himself.

“Jaspar could… sort of control the emotions or the people around him. Not in a bad way, just to calm someone down, that kind of thing. It would probably help Paul a lot,” I added, teasing gently. “And then Alice could see things that were going to happen. The future, you know, but not absolutely. The things she saw would change when someone changed the path they were on….”

Like how she’d seen my dying… and she’d seen me becoming one of them. Two things that had not happened. It almost seemed like so long ago now, being here with Jacob, it almost seemed like a whole different life. Almost, but not quite. For all the progress I had made, a part of me still ached if I thought too deeply about my old life with Edward and his family. A part of me—my heart, probably—was still cracked, still a little broken. The breaks hadn’t been enough to shatter me, but enough to still make me hurt.

“You’re sad.” Jacob’s hand reached up and stroked my cheek.

“How can you tell?” I asked, somewhat surprised. I thought I was keeping my emotions in check, at least outwardly.

“I can always tell with you,” He wrapped his big arms around me. “I know you, Beau.” He pulled me closer to him. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s hard to think about them too much,” I confessed. “It hurts. It’s like… It’s like tapping on a bone that hasn’t completely healed after a break… does that make sense?” It was surprising how much I could tell Jacob now. We had no more secrets.

He smoothed my hair. “It’s okay, Beau, it’s okay. I won’t bring it up again. I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine.” I breathed. “It happens. I’m just trying to heal, I guess.” I relaxed into his arms. “But sometimes I worry that if I have one more break… That I’ll just fall apart.”

“We’re a pretty messed-up pair, aren’t we?” Jacob said. “Neither one of us can hold our shape together right.”

“Messed up, that’s us,” I agreed.

“At least we have each other,” he said, clearly comforted by the thought.

I was comforted, too. “At least there’s that,” I smiled a little.

And when we were together, it was fine. But Jacob had a horrible, dangerous job he felt compelled to do, and so I was often alone, stuck in La Push for safety, with nothing to do to keep my mind off any worries.

I thought about inviting Jessica or Angela to come spend time with me on the beach, but the thought of putting them in danger made me feel sick to my stomach. A phone call was all I could bring myself to do. I pulled out my phone and sent Jessica a text.

           Hey, you up for a phone call? –Beau

 I waited for her response, sitting on the porch of Billy’s house. I felt awkward taking up space inside, and Billy wasn’t one for much conversation so I preferred spending time outside. I didn’t feel like sitting in the long, awkward silence with him.

My phone rang suddenly. The sound of it startled me—I wasn’t use to it going off much these days.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Beauregard Swan,” Jessica’s voice sounded vaguely annoyed. “long time.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m sorry, Jess.”

“Oh, shut up,” I could hear her smirk over the phone. “I’m teasing you. To be honest, I was getting worried about you. If I didn’t know for a fact that you were spending time with your friend, Jacob, I would have been seriously worried!”

“Jacob’s been great.” I admitted. “He’s kept me… above water, I guess.”

“I’m glad, Beau.” She sounded genuine.

“But, that’s not really an excuse for not talking to you much lately.”

“Oh, Beau,” she sighed, “I mean, I totally appreciate that—like, it’s really sweet of you to say…” She paused. “But I still see you at school, and a few texts here and there. I’m good, Beau. Don’t worry about it!”

“Thank you, Jess,” I felt a bit of a lump in my throat. “I mean it.”

“If you’re doing good, if you’re still doing okay then that’s all that really matters. I know it’s been hard.”

“Yeah, it has.” I sighed.

“But Jacob’s been helping?”

“So much.” I smiled, thinking about him.

“Oh, yeah?” I could hear the amusement in her voice. “That’s very nice to hear.”

“Knock it off, Stanley.” I smirked.

“Come on, Swan,” she laughed. “You’ve been spending all your time with him, and I can hear it in your voice when you talk about him.”

“What in my voice?”

She laughed. “Tell me when you figure it out, and we can talk about it then.”

I was confused, I wasn’t sure what she meant. Did my voice change that much when I talked about Jacob? Was it so noticeable?

Jessica and I talked for about an hour. She gracefully changed the subject from me and Jacob to the various gossip going around at school, catching me up on everything I had missed. Angela and Ben had gone on a few dates, Lauren and Tyler. Logan was as awful as ever. It all felt so mundane, so everyday… so normal.

After we said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone, I was immediately overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness. I promised myself I would spend more time with Jessica, Angela and all my friends at school when everything was sorted out.

I tried hanging out at Emily’s place Wednesday afternoon, for a change. It was kind of kind of nice. Emily was a cheerful person who never sat still. I drifted behind her while she flitted around her little house and yard, scrubbing at the spotless floor, pulling a tiny weed, fixing a broken hinge, tugging a string of wool through an ancient loom, and always cooking, too. She complained lightly about the increase in the boys’ appetites from all their extra running, but it was easy to see she didn’t mind taking care of them.

“It’s nice,” she said suddenly. “Having someone who worries as much as I do.”

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I feel like they don’t worry enough.”

“They don’t.” She shrugged. “But that’s boys for you, I suppose.”

“I know they’re confident, but still…”

“You don’t need to tell me,” she sighed. “But that’s what I signed up for, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” I nodded solemnly. “Me too.”

“Did you?”

I was surprised by her question.

When I didn’t speak, she continued, her face solemn. “Yes, you’re here. But is this a life you could commit to?” her scarred hand twitched slightly and I was unsure if it was a conscious movement or not. “It’s a lot of worrying, and a lot of danger.”

I thought about her question for a long minute. “I’d be a hypocrite if I said the danger was a deal breaker, wouldn’t I?”

I could see the hint of a smile on the un-scarred corner of her mouth.

“I guess we’re both part of the pack, in our own ways.” I shrugged.

“You’re an interesting person, Beau.” Emily smiled at me, and I smiled back.

Sam showed up then to check in. I only stayed long enough to hear if Jacob was fine and if there was any news, and then I excused myself. I wanted to give them a moment alone. I knew that every brief moment they had was precious, and they didn’t need me hanging around.

I decided to go wander the beach, pacing the length of the rocky crescent back and forth, again and again.

Alone time wasn’t good for me. Thanks to the new honesty with Jacob, I’d been talking and thinking about the Cullens way too much and it was still—still, even after all this time—too soon to give them that. No matter how I tried to distract myself—and I had plenty to think of: I was honestly and desperately worried about Jacob and his wolf-brothers, I was terrified for Charlie and the others who thought they were hunting animals, I was getting in deeper and deeper with Jacob without ever having consciously decided to progress in that direction—none of these very real, very deserving of thought, very pressing concerns could take my mind entirely off the pain I felt in my heart and I hated it. I wondered if maybe almost losing Jacob before we had made up had set me back. Maybe in my panic of losing him I had let myself slip back into old habits and old heartbreaks. I was beyond frustrated with myself, beyond angry with my heart. I sat down on a patch of semidry rocks and hugged my knees close to my chest.

Jacob found me like that, and I could tell from his expression that he knew how upset I was.

“Sorry,” he said right away. He pulled me up from the ground and wrapped both arms around my shoulders. I hadn’t realized how cold I was until then. His warmth made me shudder, but I was grateful for it.

“I’m ruining your spring break,” Jacob accused himself as we walked back up the beach.

“No, you’re not. I didn’t have any plans. I don’t think I like spring breaks, anyway.”

“I’ll take tomorrow morning off. The others can run without me. We’ll do something fun.”

The word seemed almost out of place in my life right now. “Fun?”

“Fun is exactly what you need. Hmm…” he gazed out across the heaving gray waves, deliberating. As his eyes scanned the horizon, he had a flash of inspiration.

“Got it!” he crowed. “Another promise to keep.”

“What are you talking about?”

He let go of my hand and pointed toward the southern edge of the beach, where the flat, rocky half-moon dead-ended against the sheer sea cliffs. I stared, uncomprehending.

“Didn’t I promised to take you cliff diving?”

I shivered.

“Yeah, it’ll be pretty cold—not as cold as it is today. Can you feel the weather changing? The pressure? It will be warmer tomorrow. You up for it?”

The dark water did not look inviting, and, from this angle, the cliffs looked even higher than before.

But a small part of me was thrilled by the idea. The idea that, for as helpless and not in control of my life as I felt, I could grapple it all head on; I could be brave, and adventurous. I could step outside of my normal limitations of comfort and do something so insane as hurl myself from a cliff into the dark waters below. Why not do it? I had wanted to once and I was tired of being afraid all the time. I wanted to be brave.

“Okay, sure. I’m up for it.”

“It’s a date,” Jake smiled, and draped his arm around my shoulders.

“A date,” I repeated. “Now, let’s go get you some sleep.” I didn’t like the way the circles under his eyes were beginning to look permanently etched into his skin.

 I woke early the next morning and snuck a change of clothes out to the truck. I had a feeling that Charlie would approve of today’s plan just about as much as he would approve of the motorcycle.

           The idea of a distraction from all my worries had me almost excited. Maybe it would be fun. A date with Jacob. I felt the strangest sense of excitement in the pit of my stomach; a thrill, almost. I realized I was looking forward to the idea of a date with Jacob. As soon as I named the emotion as excitement, I felt a strange twinge of guilt. Guilt for my excitement, guilt because I was willing to acknowledge our day together as an actual date. I couldn’t understand why I felt that way. I was unattached to anyone, I had every right to go on a date with a boy. So why did I suddenly now feel like it was a breach in trust? A horrible thing? Jake could say what he wanted about us being a messed-up pair—I was the one who was truly messed up. I made the werewolf seem downright normal.

I expected Jacob to meet me out front, the way he usually did when my noisy truck announced my arrival. When he didn’t, I guessed that he might still be sleeping. I would wait—let him get as much rest as he could. He needed his sleep, and that would give the day time to warm a bit more. Jake had been right about the weather, though; it had changed in the night. A thick layer of clouds pressed heavily on the atmosphere now, making it almost sultry; it was warm and close under the gray blanket. I left my sweater in the truck.

I knocked quietly on the door.

“C’mon in, Beau,” Billy said.

He was at the kitchen table, eating cold cereal.

“Jake sleeping?”

“Er, no.” He set his spoon down, and his eyebrows pulled together.

“What happened?” I felt my stomach drop. I could tell from his expression that something had happened.

“Embry, Jared, and Paul crossed a fresh trail early this morning. Sam and Jake took off to help. Sam was hopeful—the redhead’s hedged himself in beside the mountains. Sam thinks they have a good chance to finish this.”

“Oh, no, Billy,” I whispered. “Oh, no.”

He chuckled, deep and low. “Do you really like La Push so well that you want to extend your sentence here?”

“Don’t make jokes, Billy. This is too scary for that.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, still complacent. His ancient eyes were impossible to read. “This one’s tricky.”

I bit my lip.

“It’s not as dangerous for them as you think it is. Sam knows what he’s doing. You’re the one that you should worry about. The vampire doesn’t want to fight them. He’s just trying to find a way around them… to you.”

“How does Sam know what he’s doing?” I demanded, brushing aside his concern for me. “They’ve only killed just the one vampire—that could have been luck.”

“We take what we do very seriously, Beau. Nothing’s been forgotten. Everything they need to know has been passed down from father to son for generations.”

That didn’t comfort me the way he had intended it to. The memory of Victor, wild catlike, lethal, was too strong in my head. If he couldn’t get around the wolves, he would eventually try to go through them. I felt the panic rising in my chest.

Billy went back to his breakfast; I sat down on the sofa and flipped aimlessly through the TV channels. That didn’t last long. I tried to steady my breathing, but the small room was making me feel claustrophobic. I needed to see the outside.

“I’ll be at the beach,” I told Billy abruptly, and hurried out the door.

Being outside didn’t help as much as I’d hoped. The clouds pushing down with an invisible weight that kept the claustrophobia from easing. The forest seemed strangely vacant as I walked toward the beach. I didn’t see any animals—no birds, no squirrels. I couldn’t hear any birds, either. The silence was eerie; there wasn’t even the sound of wind in the trees.

I knew it was all just a product of the weather, but it still added to the threat of a rising panic attack. The heavy, warm pressure of the atmosphere was perceptible even to my average human sense, and it hinted at something major in the storm department. A glance at the sky backed this up; the clouds were churning sluggishly despite the lack of breeze on the ground. The closest grounds were a smoky gray, but between the cracks I could see another layer that was a gruesome purple color. The skies had a ferocious plan in store for today. The animals must be bunkering down.

As soon as I reached the beach, I wished I hadn’t come—I’d already had enough of this place. I’d been here almost every day, wandering alone. Was it so much different from my nightmares? But where else to go? I trudged down to the driftwood tree, and sat at the end so that I could lean against the tangled roots. I stared up at the angry sky, fighting my uneven breaths. I waited for the first drops to break the unbearable stillness.

I tried not to think about the danger Jacob and his friends were in. Because nothing could happen to Jacob. The thought was unendurable. I’d lost too much already—would fate take one of the best things to happen to me since having my heart broken? That seemed unfair, out of balance. But maybe I’d violated some unknown rule, crossed some line that had condemned me. I was reminded of the guilt I felt that morning. Maybe this was my punishment. Maybe it was wrong to be so involved with myths and legends. Maybe…

No. Nothing would happen to Jacob. I had to believe that or I wouldn’t be able to function.

“Argh!”  I groaned, and jumped off the log. I couldn’t sit still; it was worse pacing.

Why today did my heart decide to remind me of those cracks? The breaks that hadn’t fully healed. Was it because I dared to be try and truly be happy again? Was it because I was at risk of completely moving on? Jacob wasn’t here to take my mind off the cracks, and they ached with every breath.

The waves picked up as I paced, beginning to crash against the rocks, but there was still no wind. I felt pinned down by the pressure of the storm. Everything swirled around me, but it was perfectly still where I stood. The air had a faint electric charge—I could feel the static in my hair.

Farther out, the waves were angrier than they were along the shore. I could see them battering against the line of the cliffs, spraying big white clouds of sea foam into the sky. There was still no movement in the air, though the clouds roiled more quickly now. It was eerie looking—like the clouds were moving by their own will. I shivered, though I knew it was just a trick of the pressure.

The cliffs were a black knife edge against the livid sky. Staring at them, I remembered the day Jacob had told me about Sam and his “gang.” I thought of the boys—the werewolves—throwing themselves into the empty air. The image of the falling, spiraling figures was still vivid in my mind. I imagined the utter freedom of the fall… What I wouldn’t give feel that freedom, to be so carefree, to not feel the mounting panic in my chest.

There had to be some way to calm myself. Some way to free myself of this pain. It was growing more and more intolerable by the second. I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves.

Before I realized it, I was sprinting back along the beach to my truck.

Jacob had promised me cliff diving. He had promised me a date. I so desperately needed that distraction—needed it even worse because Jacob was out risking his life for me. If it weren’t for me, Victor would not be killing people here. The wolves would not be running. Jacob would be safe. If anything happened to Jacob, it would be my fault. That realization stabbed deep. The cracks in my heart flared anew. The panic was nearly unavoidable.

I was in my truck, driving as fast as it could handle. I wasn’t even sure where I was going. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t have another breakdown. The storm was moving in quickly now. How fitting it was. The brewing storm seemed to match the storm inside of my body. Churning, building, and threatening to explode. I shouldn’t have been driving. I was in no state. I slammed the breaks and skidded to a stop just off the road. I collapsed into the steering wheel. My breathing erratic.

When I looked up, I realized I had driven to the cliffs. I felt an irresistible pull. What was I doing? I sighed—or, rather, tried to sigh; it came out more of a whimper. I would wait here at the cliffs for Jacob. That’s what I would do. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to call Billy and leave a message for Jake. I was having a hard time focusing. The world was starting to minutely shift before my eyes. I was dizzy, and I needed to get out of my truck.

The wind was finally beginning to touch me, the clouds pressing closer to the ground. I realized I was trudging along the path towards the cliff’s edge. Jacob would find me here, and everything would be fine. I had called Billy, hadn’t I? I couldn’t remember but my phone wasn’t in my pocket anymore.  Just as I reached the place where the dirt path fanned out into the stone precipice, the first drops broke through and splattered on my face.

Why now? Had I been pushing down all these emotions? This panic? Maybe Victor’s dangerous proximity had triggered this. The thoughts flew through my head at dangerous speeds. I thought of my friends, my poor friends who had been so patient. Especially Jessica and Angela. I thought of the pack, out running to protect everyone and putting themselves in danger. I thought of Charlie who was so worried about me since my last breakdown, Charlie who cared so much about me. I thought of Jacob. Sweet, warm, wonderful Jacob who was out running with his brothers to protect me. Risking his life, running on no sleep. Yes, it was his duty as a member of the pack but I knew the truth, he was running for me. The panic was verging on hysteria now.

And all this, all this danger, was all because of the Cullens. If they had never come to Forks, then maybe the La Push boys wouldn’t have become a part of the pack. They could all be normal boys, chasing girls, going to school, whatever it was they had wanted before their lives were decided for them. Poor Sam would be happy with sweet Emily and she wouldn’t wear the scars of his momentary failure. Maybe I would have learned to be content with Forks and my friends at school on my own. Charlie wouldn’t have had to go through the heartbreak of nearly losing me in Phoenix or watch me fall apart.

The wind blew stronger now, whipping the rain into eddies around me.

And there it was. If I had never met Edward Cullen maybe, just maybe, I would have had a normal life. Maybe I wouldn’t have had my heart broken. Or, at least, not broken so very severely. How could I have been so foolish as to let him have so much power over me? How could I have let him break me so completely? It destroyed me, even now after all this time, that he could do that to me. I dared to think that maybe—if things had been different—I would have ended up with some sweet, kind, normal boy.

I had wandered close to the edge of the cliff now; my eyes had been locked on the horizon but now I glanced down at the empty space in front of me. My toes were barely caressing the edge of the rocks. I thought of the freedom I had been so excited for this morning. The careless joy of diving from the cliffs with Jacob.

Jacob. Maybe I could have been happy with… I drew in a deep breath and held it.

“Beau.”

My eyes flew open and I stumbled back away from the cliff edge. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Everything came crashing back to reality. The panic subsided, my breathing became more regular.

No. I didn’t answer out loud. I couldn’t acknowledge that voice. That horrible, torturing illusion of a voice. He sounded so real, so close. Every memory I had tried so hard to let go of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonations—came flooding to the surface.

“Beau, stay back from the edge,” he pleaded.

Why? I asked the voice. Why can’t I be careless? Why can’t I be free of you?

“Please, Beau.”

No, he didn’t get to tell me what to do anymore. He didn’t get to hold such power over me—not anymore. I was going to be free of him. I would be free of Edward Cullen. I looked back at the cliff edge. Freedom, carelessness.

“Don’t do this,” the voice pleaded.

Why not? I need to be done with this. I mentally sighed in response.

“Please. For me.”

Edward didn’t get to ask anything of me. Not even the memory of him. Especially not the memory of him.

I took a defiant step toward the cliff. I had to be crazy, but I couldn’t help but think that taking that dive represented something. Represented me letting go of everything. It represented me being truly, unabashedly brave.

“No, Beau!” his voice was angry now, a tinge of desperation in the tone.

“You wanted me to be human,” I reminded him. “Well, watch me.”

I would be brave and I would be free. I would be free of the fear, I would be free of the anxiety, but most of all—and most importantly—I would be free of Edward Cullen.

I took a deep breath.

And I flung myself off the cliff.

I let out a loud cry of shock as the exhilaration of what I was doing rushed through me. The wind resisted, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, pushing against me and twirling me in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth.

Yes! The word echoed through my head as I sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than I’d feared, and yet the chill only added to my high.

I was proud of myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn’t had one moment of terror—just pure adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn’t scary at all. It was cleansing.

I surfaced and gasped in air. I looked up at the cliff that, only moments before, I had been on top of. It was taller than I had thought. I felt a bit of guilt then; it had been stupid of me to jump from so high. I was so wrapped up in my head that I hadn’t even realized it.

I only had the briefest of moments to consider the dangers of such a high jump before I was suddenly back under the dark water. A wave had crashed into me with all the force and anger of the storm.

And then the current caught me.

I’d been so preoccupied by my thoughts, my anxiety, that I hadn’t even considered the danger of the dark water waiting below.

It felt like the waves were fighting over me, jerking me back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling me into halves. I knew the right way to avoid a riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did me little good when I didn’t know which way the shore was.

I couldn’t even tell which way the surface was.

The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness to direct me upward. Gravity was all-powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves—I couldn’t feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung me round and round like a rag doll.

I fought to keep my breath in, to keep my lips locked around my last store of oxygen.

It didn’t help that my delusion of Edward was there. Of course, he would be there, if I was dying. Ironic, almost, since that was whole reason he left me. I was surprised by how sure that knowledge was. I was going to drown. I was drowning.

“Keep swimming!” Edward begged urgently in my head.

This was cruel. Did I really, deep down, hate myself so much that I’d conjure some phantom version of Edward to feign care for me in my last moments?

“Stop that!” he ordered. “Don’t you dare give up!”

The cold of the water was numbing my arms and legs. I didn’t feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more of just a dizziness now, a helpless spinning in the water.

But I wouldn’t die here, not like this. I forced my arms to continue reaching, my legs to kick harder, though every second I was facing a new direction. It couldn’t be doing any good.

“Fight!” he yelled. “Damn it, Beau, keep fighting.”

I’m trying, dammit. Just leave me alone.

I felt myself fading. I couldn’t fight much longer. How stupid was I? How could I have been so selfish. I’d survived a vampire attack—vampire venom! Now I was going to drown because I had to prove something to myself. Idiot.

I thought briefly of the clichés, about how you were supposed to see your life flash before your eyes. It was so much more heartbreaking than that.

I saw everyone I loved. I saw Jessica and Angela, my sweet friends. I saw my mom, crying over me. Charlie, broken and destroyed by this. I saw Jacob—my Jacob—sweet, laughing, holding his hand out to me.

I saw him, and I knew it was the end. It was so clear, so much more defined than any memory. My subconscious had stored Edward away in exact detail. A mental representation of everything I hadn’t let go of. I could see his handsome face as if he were really there; the exact shade of his icy skin, the shape of his lips, the line of his jaw, the gold glinting in his eyes.

“Beau…”

My ears flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. If nothing else, in this final moment, I would let him go. I would truly be free of him and make my peace with everything that had happened. Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I felt a strange sense of ease.

The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock, invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me down, deeper into the dark, ocean floor.

Goodbye, Edward, was my last thought.

#New Moon Revamped #Gay New Moon #Twilight Saga #Gay Twilight Saga #Beau Swan #Jacob Black #Edward Cullen #BeauxEdward #BeauxJacob #Twilight Revamped #Twilight Reimagined #Twilight: Life and Death #2.15

[swan1974-blog]

Swan and Victoria

Swan says,I can hear them. I can hear all of them. Calling out to someone, calling out to the big guy upstairs, trying to make a bargain, promising to stop old habits, start doing something they should have been doing in the first place. I can hear them calling for the doctors, the nurses, to "someone in charge", to "anyone who can help". When they get what they want they thank God more than they thank the doctor. Almost everyone in this building is asking for one thing, time; they don't know it but time is all they're really asking for, those patients asking for a quick recovery are asking for more time to do whatever the hell they want, the woman waiting for her son to come out of the surgery room is asking for more time with her son, the doctors praying for a successful surgery as they wash their hands are also asking for time; it's up to me to decide how much time will be given to them, that is if I decide to give it to them in the first place. I'm not a time lord, though that would have been a better title; I am Film Swan. I am the Grim Reaper, the blond devil, the blondie; I have been named hundreds of times by hundreds of civilizations and religions and have been recognized before the dawn of the Sumerian. Most of you consider me as an evil entity, others say I'm good; honestly I am not sure myself. Tonight I'm here for a woman, I'm standing in front of her husband, he is sitting outside the delivery room while the doctor and nurses work on her; they told him that he can't be inside the delivery room right now. I can hear her husband beg for more time, I can hear the pounding of everybody's heart as the sound of the ECG tries to fill the small gaps of silence in the room. I step inside and stand behind the doctor, trying to figure out what to do next as she tries to make it look like she knows what she's doing, the nurses were doing great they didn't panic even though this might be the first time for them to witness a the death of a patient. Her heart rate is fast, soon it's going to stop. Her face shows struggle, I can tell she's asking for something too but she's not asking time for herself. I can see tears flowing down her cheeks, connecting the dots of sweat. This woman wants time, not for her but for her child. She's screaming out in pain, she's just about to give up but she wants her child to live first. I can see the timer above her, the sands of time is dropping and it's telling me she has two minutes left. "Please God." I can hear her call for help, it's louder than the screams she makes in the delivery room. "Let my baby live." She's begging an entity that doesn't have the time to listen to all seven billion prayers all at once. Heck, I don't have the time to collect every soul who's due to die in the next 5 minutes. Why do you think there's a higher birthrate than death rate? I look at her then reflect on myself, I rarely do this but we're talking about two lives lost if I take her on time. Sure the doctor and nurses can try to save the child but there will be too many complications and it'll be too late for the infant. I've ran the scenario through my mind, three hundred and thirty-two times within the last quarter of a millisecond I've ran that scenario over and over again, there's no saving that baby if she dies. But... what do I care? It's not like she's going to be there to take care of the little thing, watch the child grow. It would be a mercy for her to pass on with someone to accompany her. The doctor moves aside as her heart rate slows down, she's looking for something but I don't really care what it is; her heart rate is still not stable. Not the kind physicians would want to hear. She's not screaming anymore. Did someone sedate her without me noticing? She looks like she's going to pass out. "Please, I beg you." I hear her again, she's looking at my direction. We make eye contact. No. Impossible. What was that? Did she literally look death in the eye and ask for my help? Her time is almost up, the countdown begins and I'm still undecided. I can still think a googolplex of thoughts before her time runs out and still be unsure what is right and what is wrong; I've been alive for an eternity and yet I still face this problem. @tekahlouk The countdown starts at five, and I move closer to her. Four, she turns as if she can see me. Three, she smiles, a very complex smile. I can tell she's been through hard times and that her husband has been the only thing good in her life. She's happily accepting the fact that she does not have to suffer in this realm any longer but weeps for her child. Two, I reach out to her, she raises her hand and reaches out to me. One, I can see her lips move "Please." she mouths. I grant her five hours, for a little longer this beautiful creature will have to endure her mortal vessel. Within that time she will forget about me and about her close encounter with death. Her body reacts to the feeling of life coursing through her again; she screams as she pushes. Twenty minutes later she gives birth to a healthy baby boy. Perfect in every way. Later she is retired to her room, her husband sitting next to her and her baby lying next to her. She smiles, the kind of smile that shows hope and dreams. She's probably thinking she's going to see her baby boy grow up to be a man, grow old with her husband, see her grandchildren, look into a mirror and count the silver in her hair. I feel like this has been a cruel joke, giving her the time she needed gave her hope and that is the last thing she could need right now. Hope is a very dangerous thing; it has led many mortals to their death, unprepared and oftentimes unaware. The final seconds of her life starts once again, she tells her husband she feels like sleeping. He takes the baby from her side and cradles him in his arms. He kisses her on her forehead, he tells her to rest and hums their song to their baby. To the tune of "Moon River" She closes her eye, she smiles; believing she'll wake up later, check out of the hospital, and walk out with her child. Life leaves her body, I can see the green little light fly out of her. It flies to me, waiting for me to collect it. I reach out to grab it, for a second there I thought I saw her soul smiled at me, thanking me for the time I gave her, for the time I gave her son, and for the time I gave her husband; thanking me for my services. I hold on to her soul, place it between two pages of my book and cross her name out of the waiting list. My job is done, she's just another story in the book of life now, just another job. I look at the time and head out, there's a man about to receive the death sentence in a minute, it would be very strange if I'm late for that one. Was it kindness that I allowed the woman to deliver her child into the world and let her spend that special moment with her husband? Or was it cruel of me to let her die, and make her wait for her child to die, so they can be together in the afterlife? Was it cruel of me to let a little boy grow up without letting him know what his mother was like? Swan smiles at his mother’s grave and cried. A female voice says,I'm here swan... he barely heard a voice that sounded exactly like Victoria's, but Swan only thought he was hearing things. His head still bowed, he cried, I need my mommy. "SWAN," the female voice said a little louder but still kind and gentle. He hugs the gravestone tightly. Swan says,I may love my daughter more, My love for my mother is forever But a mother’s love is forever and ever since birth. A mothers love will never end. It is there from beginning to end. Swan looked up to see Victoria's ghost, healthy and young. Victoria says with sobbing,choking up, I’ve been with you since before your birth. I’ll stand by your side, as long as I’m on this earth. A mother’s love is special, a never-ending gift. A love that’s always there if you ever need a lift. I think of you often, never missing a day. My love is forever, and always sent your way. You’re never far from the caring thoughts in my heart. No matter how many miles ever try to keep us apart. A mother’s love, your gift, the gift I’ll always give to you. As we watch our lives go by, no matter what you say or do. Swan cried and loudly sobbed at hearing his mother. He felt her warmth embrace comfort him. Swan laid on Victoria’s chest and sadly smiles. Swan says in a child like Voice,mommy? Please hold me and never let go of me.. You said you will be here for me always... Don't leave... Victoria gets tears in front of swan,hearing swan’s child like voice breaking her down in tears. She wipes swan’s tears and says, I love you No matter you are bad or good You’re always my son forever and ever Like you did with Sam, We’re forever. Swan smiles and closed his eyes. Swan says,Your love is consistent and patient, it will never fade. A mother's love is warm and compassionate, even in the shade. A mother's love will always help you through the weakest hours. A mother's love is always like a bouquet of flowers. A mother's love is strong and will never steer you wrong. A true mother's love is beautiful in many ways. A true mother's love is sincere and it takes a mother's love to conquer our fears. A true mother's love knows the depth of love. A true mother's love is contentment, just like God's love. My mother's love is absolutely all of the above. Victoria sniffed and tightly hugged swan, Swan felt content that he felt love he yearned for so long His Mother's love..

#swan #phantom of the paradise #paul williams #son and mother #emotional #son and mommy

[gwenore]

Beneath the Skin. Chapter 27.

Chapter 27: Sleeping with a tail cause problems for Mr. Gold when he wakes up. 

Synopsis: Mr. Gold is feared by the population of the small town of Storybrooke north of Milton in queen Victoria’s England. Known as the Crocodile for his cold blooded nature and his cruel actions, Mr. Gold knows the true horror he can become if something set a fire in his blood. However no one has been able to do so, but then he runs into a young woman who owns a bookstore and something he thought long buried starts clawing its way to the surface.

Though asleep Mr. Gold’s rest was not easy. In fact it was something which made his sleep uneasy. A certain coldness which went up his spine. It was not enough to wake him completely, but enough to stir a more instinctual part of his mind.

It was seeking out the warmth of the woman that was laying next to him. Already his arms had started to wrap around her. As always she in her sleep would always turn towards him, laying her arm over his back, feeling the fabric of his shirt, taking in the smell of him even in her sleep.

Though he felt her warmth against his chest and limbs… it wasn’t enough… the chill remained in his spine.

Slowly this instinctual part of his mind moved his tail further under the blanket towards the greatest source of warmth in the bed.

Her.

Belle let out a slight murmur as she felt the brush of scales against the soft fabric of her nightgown. Mr. Gold started become more comfortable with his tail resting against her… but… he desired her warmth even more so, trying to feel more of that comforting warmth, bringing her closer to him.

Belle was more than willing to move closer but still feeling the tail nudge against the back of her legs. Insisting as it was and on the verge of waking her from her sleep she absentmindedly parted her legs and felt something place between her legs. Though she could not place it in her sleeping mind, she still felt comfortable and slipped back into deep sleep.

Mr. Gold let out a soft gasp as he felt a pleasant warmth spread up towards his spine. Letting out a relieved breath he felt himself relax. Finally he felt warm and comfortable and with that he was completely at ease.

So it was like this that he slipped deep into sleep, his arms around the woman that he adored so greatly, the one that had both doomed and saved him. Thus the night passed with the maiden in the arms of the man with his tail between her legs.

  It was Mr. Gold that woke first in the morning light. Already he could hear the scurrying of the imps milling around the room. They were not supposed to be in the room, though with how Belle was treating them, constantly bringing them with her everywhere, including into the room, putting them on the bed to snuggle them, so there was no wonder they had gotten confused. Luckily they shunned away from the bed as they did not enjoy sleeping and then all the sudden get a knee or elbow poking them.

Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking a bit as the light offended his sensitive reptilian eyes. Glancing up he saw the large imp sitting on his nightstand looking down at him.

“What do you want…?” he muttered. The large imp leaned its head to the side before it jumped down. He sighed softly shaking his head.

He was not aware of what time that it was, nor did he really care. He was far to comfortable to even begin to get up yet. Mornings like this, having her rest so easily in his arms he felt at peace, her warmth seeping into his cooling body and how he felt it run up the length of his spine…

He blinked before he realized just what he was feeling.

Lifting up the blanket he found his tail having pushed up her nightgown so that her nude exposed legs were around it as it had placed itself between her creamy thighs.

Mr. Gold was in a state of silent panic. Fair enough he was not awake and aware of just what he was doing, but in his mind this did not in any way excuse why his had touched the young maiden in such an indecent way.

His situation were not helped that like most mornings he found his one arm trapped under her and her still resting against his chest while her arm was laying across his side.

Still he could not have her wake up to find out just what he had done in the throws of sleep. Still how to remove the offending tail without her waking up…

It seemed almost impossible and he would have no excuse if he was to be caught.

Slowly he then uncurled his tail from her leg, though it seemed almost unwilling to do so and a part of him simply wished remained there… feel her warmth… perhaps simply shift his position slightly so that she would be under him, her body pressed against his and the mattress below.

He did not want to think such things. The young woman had been kind enough to be willing to share his bed, but this did not mean that he should ever be allowed to do something like this to her.

But at the same time it had been so easy for him to fall… he had known how much he adored her for a long while though he knew that he could never have her. Still her heart was pounding loudly each time she joked about them being a family. That she enjoyed her time in his mansion so much that she would consider it her home.

If he could have one wish… he would wish everything she said could be true.

Still now was not the time for such foolish thoughts. Slowly he started to pull his tail out, doing his best to do this as slowly as possible so that she would not notice it.

A slight gasp from her soft lips made him freeze, unable to breathe for a moment as he feared that she had started to wake. But it seemed that she had simply stirred, though her legs had clamped even further around his tail, he feeling the gentle pressure of her against it.

He felt himself grow warm, his blazing reptilian eyes looking upon her face as he continued to try to pull away his tail, but it was now getting near impossible. Not that he couldn’t… it would be very easy for him to rip the tail away from her, but then he would be caught.

The beast within him was also fighting him, wishing to feel her closer and he felt that he was loosing the fight against himself, instead pressing against her, finding his tail continuing to curl around her leg instead of continuing to remove itself.

Leaning his cold body against her, he found herself delighting against the warmth of her, taking in the smell of her skin.

He knew that he should not… he knew that he was breaking the trust that she had placed upon him when she had agreed to share his bed. His hand was caressing her arm gently, his head leaning closer towards her, nuzzling her neck, the beast within drooling at her smell.

Mr. Gold was certain that he almost felt his heart stop when he lifted his head and his golden eyes met her blue eyes. The shock left him unable to speak and it did not lessen as he felt her hands brush against his sides, moving onto his back.

There was a questioning look in her blue eyes, a strange curiosity, but there was no fear… if anything it was an… eagerness… a willingness.

The beast inside was snarling at him, compelling him to claim her, to press his lips against her own and use those sharp claws that he had been granted to rip her dress apart. That she was willing…

“Mr. Gold…?” she murmured softly, continuing to caressing her hands across her back.

“Belle… uh…” he was stuttering.

“Is there… is there something that… that you want to tell me?” she questioned, a bit more uncertain, but… not because she was frightened. She felt her breath grow rapid as she felt herself move against him.

“Um… the imps are in the room… and uh… I am very sorry, but it seems my… my tail is sort of…” he was at this point so flustered that he was unable to continue. Belle let out a slight blush as she realized.

“Oh… sorry…” she stuttered releasing her grip on his tail, him quickly removing it as they scrambled away from each other, both of them pretending that everything was as it was always was, a perfectly normal night.

“No… seemingly it was drawn to heat… seems it has become a instinct of mine… and… guess I am not used to… well… the tail,” he ran his claws through his hair, trying to recollect himself. Belle sat on her side of the bed, glancing over at him and giving a smile and reached out her hand, resting her hand on his shoulder gently.

“Not the worst sort of instinct… after all… I know of no one who really likes to be cold… and you don’t do so good in the cold,” she continued to stroke his shoulder. He gave her a small smile… how could she be so comforting with what that he had done.

“Never really enjoyed the cold… but that dislike has only grown lately,” he huffed slightly. She had no other choice other than the slight giggle.

“Guess that is only natural, you know… with the scales and all,” she giggled with a shrug smiling softly. He simply gave a shrug.

“I guess,” he repeated, taking a glance over at her as she turned to see that the imps had opened the door to get into the room, the door still ajar.

“Wonder why they felt the need to get into the room though,” she muttered as she patted the bed, getting some of the imps to jump up, her awarding them with petting when they did as she wanted.

“You have spoiled them too much, so now they believe that us sleeping in entitles them to come inside as their morning petting is delayed,” he mused towards her, the large imp jumping up next to its master, looking up at him. He met its eyes and he understood.

There had been intruders during the night.

They had of course been easily dispatched of. The imps were small… but many and with humans being unsuspecting prey… well… the imps had been eating well.

But they were protective over their master and his dearest, their instinct driving them to keep close. The evidence had been hidden, they were good at that.

Still… time was running out.

There could no longer be any waiting.

#rumbelle fic #beneath the skin #tail fluff #imps

[authorkylehartman]

Liberated (short Story)

The first part of what I have been thinking of making a trilogy. The second which will come pretty quick. Either tonight or tomorrow, All Downhill.  Here is the first part again.

Alex and Haley, a good friend of his, walk out of Victoria Secrets. Haley wanted to buy a few things, although Alex feels like she had more of a reason to have him there with her, however he was not going to turn down going to a store like that with an exotic light brown skinned Asian woman with deep amber eyes and amazingly silky long black hair that is currently pulled back in a bun. However, Alex loves it when she has her hair down, even if he hasn't told her this. It is a cool spring day, about sixty degrees with a slight breeze. Though that has little bearing on them inside this large mall. Alex is Caucasian and has bright blue eyes. He has a medium sized body build with short light brown hair. Haley is slightly tall for her very small frame and has perky fair sized breasts. Alex is much taller than she is however, in fact he is a whole head taller than her. Alex is also three years older than Haley. Though despite all this, Alex is lost, in his own head. The young man has something else on his mind, something that is always there. Though when he is with Haley there are two things on his mind. Things he can't stop thinking about. He knows she really likes him. That she is constantly thinking about him, like he does her, when he is around her. She is an amazing person. She is caring and loving. Alex looks over at her, both of them smiling. Looking into Haley's eyes, Alex once again tries to take in all her beauty. Everything from her ears and cheeks in, but mostly deep in her big amber eyes. Every time he does this he finds it increasingly difficult to contain himself. She is so gorgeous inside and out. They do a lot together and he loves being around her. Actually just now, she grabs his hand, but he pulls his away. She wants to be together, but that wouldn't be fair to her. He knows she wants it bad. Real bad, but he cannot do it. Alex can't be with her. He wouldn't be all in mentally. There is something blocking it for him, though he knows just what that is. Deep down, Alex does really like her and knows it would be a good relationship, but he can't get passed this one thing. “Alex, why don't you want to hold my hand?” Haley asks with her accent, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. Alex knows it hurts her that he does this; which in turn hurts him, maybe it's time to discuss the elephant in the room. Walking down the corridor, Alex is trying to think of the best way to say this, “Maybe we should go too the food court. We can talk there.” Looking over at her, he attempts a smile, but fails seeing her face. Not the look, but just that he knows what she wants and how badly. Though he hates the look on her face, it seems like it is etched in his mind now, even looking away. “I would like to know right now, Alex. You have known for months that I want to be more than just friends, so why have you not said anything. You don't need to jump in with me, but I've been hoping for months. One of us can transfer at work.” Alex can hear the words, even the unspoken ones. The young man can't even look over at her. Instead he just looks up, seeing the food court come into view... and something else. Instantly the room around disappears and there is an eerie silence. The only thing that could erase his mind and what he is thinking. Allie. Before he can even warn Haley, Allie looks up just in time to see Alex standing in front of her. “Allie” Alex says with as much disdain as love in his voice. Glancing over at Haley, Alex can see that she now has different questions for him. “Hi” Is all Allie can say as she stares at Haley. Knowing that she doesn't care who Haley is, “How have you been?” He glances at her friend now. “I'm fine.” This is just like every time he texts her or calls her. She has nothing to say, like the time they spent together wasn't incredible. Like it wasn't something special, meant to be. Just like in recent attempts to talk to her, Alex cuts his losses, wrapping his arm around Haley and guiding her past Allie and her friend. Vaguely with his poor hearing Alex swears he hears Allie say something, but he hasn't tried to talk to her in two weeks because of encounters like what he just endured. He doesn't stop to ask, only keeps moving. She is trying, too late. Once they are out of the mall, “Alex!” Haley pleads and he now realizes he has his arm around her. The young man promptly lets her go, looking at the desperate look on her face and feels his heart sink into his guts. “That's it, isn't it? That's the reason you won't go out with me, huh? How long ago did she break up with you?” The words cut Alex deep, but not because he's been caught, but because he is ashamed of his feelings. Ashamed that he does really like Haley and knows she deserves better than this. Thinking about how deeply this must hurt her, Alex can't talk. His brain is trying to process so much information that his head begins too spin. Finally he just stops, shuts it all down. He turns to head for the car. “Alex!” Haley pleads again trying to keep up. “I'll take you home, I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to hide this. Just didn't want to talk about her and how she makes me feel.” He looks at her just long enough to confess this. “I'd still like too know about this situation. I would like to hear you out and how you feel about Allie. All this time, I thought it was just work and one of us having to transfer out.” Haley looks down focusing on her legs, it is becoming a struggle to keep up with him. “You know you never spoke of her before.” Looking back up at the back of his head, she whips away a tear. “Can you please slow down?” Haley asks nearly pleading trying to ignore her own pain now. Finally he stops and turns to Haley and embraces her. Without a thought she reciprocates the action. “I know; I know I never did. I've been drowning, trying to pull myself out, away from my demon. I dated Allie nearly six months ago; Which is as long as we actually dated. I have known her over a year though. Shall we get to the car? It's just over there.” Alex points and she can see his brand new black Nissan. “Sure” She tells him and they both let go. Once they are in the car, Alex looks at her, turning the engine over. “I'll answer any questions you want to know. Okay?” He looks her in the eye for only a moment. “I want to know your feelings towards her, now?” Haley begins the interrogation. This is the first time she has really gotten much out of him, at least from last year. “Well, I still feel like I love her, but I can say with just as much certainty that she is the most cruel and hurtful person I have ever met. Those two feelings have caused a lot of disdain, bordering on hatred.” Alex looks over to gauge her reaction to what he has confessed. Haley looks away, but just for a moment, “Six months made you feel this strongly for her?” “Yes. It was the most incredible time in my life. I've thought of her as the one. I don't know how to describe it. I had a three year relationship that was really good, but she meant more than that one did. In fact my friendship with her caused Alison to break things off with me, even if nothing happened between us.” Now Alex thinking about Haley and her feelings, “I know you hate hearing this.” He can  no longer look over at her, doesn't want to see the hurt on her face. Alex knows she is trying to hide it, but she isn't doing a great job. “I do, but I have to ask, where does this leave me? Would you take her back if she wanted it?” She is looking out the window and it hurts Alex knowing what he is putting this beautiful, loving woman through. “No I wouldn't take her back. She has pulled this shit too long for me to ever take her back.” Alex looks over at Haley again, “I can't answer where this leaves you. I really like you. I mean a lot and we have a lot in common, but I don't know. I can't answer that question right now.” She nods and closes her eyes, “I think you need to talk to her. Not about getting back together, but just so you can move on.”

A few hours pass by and Alex can't take it anymore, he calls Allie. “Alex, that was rude early.” “Oh ya, that was rude. Right and I haven't been stepped on repeatedly. You can handle it once. We need to talk, now.” He closes his eyes knowing she isn't going to go for it. “I don't think we should. You enjoy that girl that you never introduced me too. Have fun with her.” Alex shakes his head, “Allie, I wasn't asking. I'm telling you, we need to talk.” “I'm still hanging out with Beth.” Now he raises his voice slightly, “Allie, I will say it again, I am not asking. I am tell you. We are going to talk. Meet me at Old Chicago in thirty minutes. Please, for once trust me.” Alex hangs up the phone, knowing she will do it, because he called her out and challenged her.

Alex walks into Old Chicago about ten minutes before she is supposed to show up. Once seated the waiter comes up to greet him, “Good evening, are we waiting for one more?” “Yes” Alex begins knowing this is going to sound a bit strange, he extends his credit card out to him, “Could you run that for two soda's, but bring two waters?” The waiter takes the card and nods his head, “Very well.” He responds as he walks away. A few minutes later he brings the waters and lays the bill down in front of Alex. “This will only take a moment and then you can ignore this table.” Looking down at the bill he sees that it comes up too three dollars. Alex writes down a five dollar tip and eight for the total. “Thank you” He tells the waiter as he hands him the bill and now he just waits for Allie to show up. A smile comes across his face knowing that what ever happens, this is it. He's done with her and he isn't going to be afraid to rip into her. Oh yes, the countdown has begun in his head. Five minutes after he had asked her too be there, she still is not. Alex feels his phone through his pants, thinking about calling her to talk since she isn't woman enough to meet him. As he decides to get up and leave, his phone vibrates. Alex doesn't have to look at it to know that it is her. Looking up, he sees her enter the building and head towards him. Like her, he can't advert his gaze. She is probably the most stunning and beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. Not only has he fallen for her, but specifically he loves her long dark curly hair and her lip piercing. She is also nearly a head shorter than he is. Though his favorite thing had to be her personality and how she acted around him when they were together and before. Truthfully he had started falling for her while he was in the midst of a three year relationship and that took a lot to happen. It was because of how special and amazing he found her too be. Her doing what she wants attitude. Though still caring about the opinions of the people closes to her, who care the most about her, but that has changed. Now he wonders if she cares about anyone. “Well, I'm here, can we make this quick?” Allie asks finally looking away, as she sits down. “It will only be as quick as it can be. Trust me, I'm not exactly enjoying myself either.” Alex shoots back and surprisingly he finds himself thinking of Haley. “Well, I have Beth waiting outside, so it can't take to long.” Alex can see right through her smile. “Another perfect example of how you won't be able to redeem yourself once you see what you have fucked for yourself. Shouldn't you trust someone who not only has your best interest at heart and has far more experience than you do? Obviously that is an absurd idea. Look, I knew that because of the path you were going down that you would have to go through a few relationships before you realize what you fucked, but the way you have been treating me. You wanted to be friends, but friends don't constantly fuck the other person. They don't ignore or try to make them feel like shit. You have done a perfect job of that.” “I wonder though if you knew that I would be able to help you cope? I know you have issues of abandonment. You haven't seen your mother in five years, but you have to learn to fucking trust someone. You will find it extremely difficult to find a relationship half as good as what we had. Oh, don't get it twisted, you are through. You have fucked yourself real good this time. I know you are only twenty-one years old, but you know what? When you find that one fucking person, you do whatever it takes to work through it.” “Shit, you should at least try if the relationship is half decent, again I know you are only twenty-one. Remember the person I dated before you? Three years, I never told you that we were engaged. Actually the wedding was scheduled for the same day you broke up with me. Though I have to say, you effected me more than that did. Though I have to wonder, why should I try when you don't give a fuck. When it feels like you only want to torment me. Make no mistake about it, I'm fully capable of walking away forever, find someone else and see you in a shallow emotionless relationship, knowing that you fucked yourself. Allie, I promise, I am not trying to be mean, but this is the pent up anger from knowing that you don't give a fuck and are enjoying what you are doing to me. I have to say this though, there is a reason not a lot of people like you or want to get close to you, it's because of this right here, what I am seeing now. That is why most people will never like you. I knew what you were capable of before we started dating-” “Then why did you twist me in the first place?” Allie pleads in tears hearing all the hurtful words. “Everything you did made me like you more and more. Until I had to have you, I had to experience you-” “Don't interrupt me, again.” Alex strongly informs her in a low voice, “Even knowing about this fucked side of you, having seen you at the bottom, why would I still want you?” Alex looks away trying to hide a tear instinctively, though knowing it is over he looks back, uncaring. “I would think you are smart enough to figure that one out, our did we both over estimate your intelligence?” Allie whips her face that is now becoming red and swollen. “Why? I don't get it and just so you know, I am getting no pleasure out of it. This still hurts me too. It's not fair to tell me that it doesn't.” “Well, this just shows how immature you still are. I agree with you, you are not ready for a real relationship. Damn straight not good enough for me. You have a funny way of showing that you care about me. Don't get me wrong, I still care about you and love you, but the way you have been treating me when I pour my heart out to you, and not just my feelings, but anytime I try to talk to you, is unforgivable. Back to the question though, why would I still want to date you knowing how cruel and uncaring you can be? I have seen you at your worst even before we dated, but I can truly tell you I never did see you at your best, not even when we dated, though I know it's there. I hope you are happy because you will never have that side appear. You made sure of that.” Alex smiles, but not because he is proud of himself, but because he is disgusted with both of them. “Are you saying you would have brought that side out in me?” She asks once again whipping her eyes. “Eventually, remember you told me you never felt that down when you were with me? It was only going to get better. Honestly I'm still not sure if you ended it to play a game. Maybe you wanted to see if I could lift myself back up and in turn help you do the same, but you should have seen that I was already doing that for you. Wasn't it nearly everyday you felt down and depressed before we started dating? I don't recall seeing that, but maybe once at the beginning and it's because you found someone strong enough to absorb all your sadness and more importantly wanted nothing else than to do that for you. I got happiness out of that. I did screw up though, I wasn't strong enough to make it so that even a blind motherfucker could see it. I never thought you were weak enough to relapse.  Like I said, I'm not to worried about upsetting you now.” “I've been thinking a lot about one thing. The day you did what you felt was right, not knowing it was the worst thing you could do. On that day, I said something that truly upset you. Something that anyone else in the world would forgive, because more important shit is at steak. Though most people are strong enough to not let that fucking statement effect them too much. I've said all I need to say, but one thing that I would like to repeat,” Alex closes his eye, savoring the moment the he finally completely sheds himself of this situation. The moment he finally feels free again, “Fuck you.” He states emphatically as he opens his eyes. Now he stands up and looks down at her, “Just so you know, I would have taken anything you dished out with a smile. Even fifty/ sixty years from now. All with a smile. Strength never fading. I never would have thought about giving up on you. I just wish you wouldn't have underestimated my strength. One day you will realize what you did, one day, but when that day comes and I'm not there anymore, try to carry on, don't give in. You do have a lot to offer the world. I promise you do, beautiful.” Now he finally walks away leaving it all behind him. Once out in the fresh air he feels like a new person. He'd been happy-ish the past few weeks and had moved on, but now he truly feels liberated. Though quickly the smile fades. Thinking completely clear now he knows what he must do, but fears he might be too late. Alex must talk to Haley, despite any conflict of interest at his Walgreen's store, the twenty-five year old Assistant Store manager knows what he must do. He must try for Haley.

Driving down the dark road with the only illumination coming from headlights and streetlights Alex pulls into the parking lot of the store. Allie is working tonight, but he isn't exactly here for her, it's more than just too see her. Parking his car he gets out and walks into the building, “Alex!” The person on the register hollers at him, the store is 24 hours and by this time, nine, it has died down. Though despite the time he knows his boss is still in the store. First though Alex sees Haley over in cosmetics, she is looking at him, having heard his name. Haley is surprised that he is right there in front of her. With a smile he walks over to her, “Hey Alex, how's your day been? What brings you up here on your day off?” Alex catches her trying to hide whipping her eye's. “Haley, I came up here for a reason that you, I am sure have guessed.” Alex stares into her eye's once again gauging her reaction. “Alex, don't. I don't think it's a good idea anymore. You still have feelings for your ex. I don't want to have to remind you that I am with you, not her. I don't want to be your back up. Please just forget about it. I was wrong.” Haley confesses turning back to filling the perfume wall. “No, I was wrong as always. You were right. I just needed to talk to her to finally feel completely free of her. You are worth far more than a back up plan.” A huge smile stretches across the face of Alex, “As clear as I stand before you, Haley, I want to officially give this a chance.” His pocket vibrates and Alex curiously pulls his phone out. It's a text from Allie, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I hadn't realized what I was doing too you. Truthfully I had figured out what you had done for me Though I didn't feel like you deserved to go through that Can I get another chance? “It's her, isn't it?” Haley nearly whispers in a defeated voice, As Alex puts his phone back in his pocket. “Go ahead and run back too her. It's okay.” “Haley, I just told her off. Of course she is going to want to come back. It won't happen though. I know the same shit will just happen again. She'll fuck it up. Forget about her, I don't want her. I feel too liberated. I am going to say it again, Haley, I stand before you as your Assistant Store Manager, asking, officially  for a chance with you?” Haley giggles a little and Alex is hoping it is because of the way he said it; Which is what he had intended. “I say give it a try, life's too short.” Both of there heads snap to the side, Alex to the right, before them stands the store manager. The smile never leaving the face of Alex, the feeling of freedom and being able to do anything rushes back to the surface seeing the look on her face. “We were going to come talk to you in the office in just a moment, I just need confirmation from her.” Alex informs the Store manager. “Well, I will continue to pretend I know nothing about this and will conveniently be sitting back in the office talking to Nick.” She replies turning around and walking away. Nick is a shift lead, however that information is neither here nor there. The two turn back to each other, “Come on Haley. I know this deep down. This is worth the chance. I can't pretend to know that it will work out in the end, but I know there is a lot here and it's worth trying.” Haley says nothing, just continues to stare at him, “Come on, I've never begged before, but I not afraid too, my ego can handle it.” Alex's nerves are nearing there peak and he is getting close to losing them. He can see in this situation now; What Allie can't in there situation. Haley laughs, “I know how big that ego is, it wouldn't even put a slight dent in it.” She smiles looking around before continuing, “So, earlier today Brittany asked me what was going on. I'm sorry I'm not trying to change the subject. I guess though that she could see that I was upset. I didn't tell her anything, but she guessed that it had to do with you. She guessed that we are closer than we should be.” “How? We don't act like it at work.” Alex asks curious. “She said she could see it in my eyes whenever I would mention you or you would be around she could see me light up. Anyways she guessed it and confessed tonight, so I came clean. She is totally jealous though.” Haley giggles like she hasn't all night. “I figured she would be, though that doesn't calm my nerves. I would like an answer, but first I must confess, after the last two months, I can't hide this from you, I'm starting to fall in love with you.” Alex walks around the counter to stand next to her. Haley only stares at him, before a tear rolls down her cheek. Alex quickly and gently wipes it away. “I have to confess then too, I'm not just falling for you, I have. I love you.” Haley informs him rubbing her cheek against his hand. Instinctively Alex opens his hand, upon the request. She now rubs her cheek against his palm. “Lets go talk too Shannon now.” Alex smiles at her slowly moving his hand from her cheek, down her arm, until he reaches her hand. Haley turns her hand around as he gently caresses her opisthenar. As quickly as she can, to not let the moment pass, she grabs his hand excitedly. Alex can't help but smile seeing the joy on her face. “Okay” She whispers not wanting to speak in this moment. “Shannon” Alex begins as the couple enter the backroom and they release each others hands. “Oh Alex, what brings you in tonight? Haley, I found another display box for you in the backroom.” “Okay, I'll get it in a moment.” She flashes her smile at Shannon momentarily as the couple sit down opposite her. “So,” Alex begins, “I guess at this moment it is no longer a secret.” “Oh I have figured for the last month that this day was coming.” Shannon smiles at the young couple. A bit surprised, “That's the second time, how did you figure it?” He asks not sure how long or deep the charade is going to go on. Shannon laughs, “It was Haley that gave it away. I might be busy as you are when you’re here, Alex, but like you I can keep my eyes on a lot of things. I could see the way she got happier just by you entering the room and contain your ego here Alex, but It wasn't just because of how funny and charming you are. There was actually something too it. Not only that, but when she would talk about you or look at you. Anyways so what are we thinking here to resolve the conflict of interest? Alex, you already know that there is an Assistant Store manager opening at the location closest to you. I could get you the spot. Also, the store up the street a couple miles has your cosmetics manager position open, Haley. There is no doubt that you are knowledgeable and friendly enough to transfer there. Eric would love you as his cosmetics manager.” “Now, now, if that is what we do, I guess I'll have to have a little talk with Eric.” Alex laughs not really caring which option is chosen. He has gotten what he wants already. “Eric is a close friend of yours, I think he would laugh at any threat.” Shannon jokes back. “I believe that would be an accurate assumption of his reaction.” Alex states looking over at Haley, “I got what I wanted already, you make the choice.” As he speaks, Alex grabs her hand and pulls it over to him. “Lets not have you too holding hands or anything until after we get this resolved. Though I am confident you two can continue to work together without conflict for the next few days, until the transfer is finalized. “Then I choose to stay. Alex already has a far longer drive than I do. At least I can be here in seven minutes. This way he doesn't have a half hour to drive.” Haley smiles up at Alex. “Well, I just have one thing to say, if you just move up the street, on days we work the same hours, there would be a chance we could take our lunch together.” Alex smiles back at Haley. “Okay, lets do that.” Haley announces triumphantly. “Then I will send Eric an email informing him of the situation and that I found him a cosmetics manager.” Shannon informs them. “Now. Back to work Haley, Alex I will see you tomorrow.” “Oh yes you will. I'll be very tired, but I will be here in the morning.” The couple get up to leave the room, “Nick” Alex says looking over him. “Yo, Alex” He greets him back casually. Haley nudges Alex gently, “Why will you be very tired?” Her curiosity getting the best of her. Because in forty minutes when you get off, I will be taking you out on our first official date. I'm thinking Upstream brewing. I know you love there food and are starting to enjoy there beer.” “Why yes I am, but I will need to go to my place to change. This is not acceptable attire for that place.” Haley smiles as she reaches up and kisses Alex. After she pulls away, “I'll have to change too.” He reminds her. “No, you don't have too. You live to far away. I'm okay with what you have on, besides it would be acceptable.” “But it's our first official date and I want to, for you.” Alex informs her feeling full of himself, but still down to earth. “I love you.” she simply states as she kisses him again. “Tisk tisk you too.” Brittany giggles. “You still work together as of now you know.” The young blonde is standing at the other end of the isle. “Brittany, get back to work or I'll find something for you too do and you won't like it.” Alex messes back. “Maybe I will like it.” She winks as she walks away. “Oh I am so going to get her.” Haley remarks though not upset at all. “Just get your display box set up so that you can get out of here. This won't be like the last two months. When you date me you get the best of the best. You won't be able to control yourself.” He winks at her. “I find that hard too do anyway. Though you've know that weakness for a month now.” Haley laughs back with a wink of her own. “I know. Though seriously you will have an incredible time.” “I always have with you. Anyways bye baby.” Haley kisses him once more before watching him leave the building.

#writing #writer #short story #liberated #love story #story

[afoolsingenuity]

Frostblood // A Really Fab Fantasy Which Had Me Hooked (Even If I Had Some Grumbles)

Frostblood – Elly Blake

Published: 12th January 2017

Source: Book Box Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult My Rating:

The first in a page-turning young adult fantasy series perfect for fans of Victoria Aveyard's Red Queen and Sarah J. Maas's Throne of Glass series.

In a land governed by the cruel Frostblood ruling class, seventeen-year-old Ruby is a Fireblood who has spent most of her life hiding her ability to manipulate heat and light - until the day the soldiers come to raid her village and kill her mother. Ruby vows revenge on the tyrannous Frost King responsible for the massacre of her people.

But Ruby's powers are unpredictable...and so are the feelings she has for Arcus, the scarred, mysterious Frostblood warrior who shares her goal to kill the Frost King, albeit for his own reasons. When Ruby is captured by the Frost King's men, she's taken right into the heart of the enemy. Now she only has one chance to destroy the maniacal ruler who took everything from her - and in doing so, she must unleash the powers she's spent her whole life withholding.

Frostblood is set in world where flame and ice are mortal enemies - but together create a power that could change everything.

I have a lot of feelings about this book and they aren’t all positive.  I think my expectations may have been slightly too high going in so I was disappointed and I was also suffering through a bit of a reading slump where I was reading because I knew I had to but didn't want to, so reading this did feel a bit like a chore. That being said, it is a really fantastic YA read and each time I get my teeth into reading it I was sucked into the story. I think I was just letting my feelings in regards to one book affect my feelings to this one as well. I enjoyed the book and I really liked the characters and the plot was interesting.

First Of All: The Characters Rock

I was pretty certain I was going to like the characters going in after reading Nick’s review of this book and I was proved right. Ruby was amazing. She was sarcastic and funny and flawed and I just loved her. She was a girl who lost her mother and had a major guilt complex with her survivor’s guilt only exacerbated by the fact she was the one the soldier’s were after as she was a fireblood. She was stuck surviving through terrible things such as depravation in prison and being taken by utter strangers who expected her to achieve the impossible goal of killing a king when she never once knew how to control her powers. She doesn’t trust these strange monks and she doesn’t understand why she could care about their mission. I have to say, I agreed with everything she did, I would have been the same. Too often in YA fantasy you have these MCs who make grand sacrifices for people when they have their own shit to deal with and I don’t understand all the self sacrificing. It was nice to see Ruby feeling a bit selfish and wanting to put herself first (and avoid further harm to the monks) and then see her reasoning for coming around to the idea of helping them. Character growth and solid explanation for why she does what she does.

Throughout the book, I was cheering for her getting things right and making good choices and I got why she struggled so much because she is left alone without knowing what's going on and she has to make the best of a bad situation. She is a favourite. I was like her, mistrusting everyone she came across because who knows who you can trust when you live in a kingdom where everyone hates your kind?

I know a lot of people loved Arcus and Ruby’s romance with him, as well. I liked that romance but I didn't feel it was a sparky and passionate as some have said. Ruby and Arcus do have fun banter-y conversations and they do bounce off one another but I kept waiting for an incendiary spark between them and it didn't happen. Hopefully, in the next book where they get to spend more time together without secrets I might like them a bit more. That being said, I did like Arcus and the fact our romantic interest had his own secrets and his own hang-ups and wasn’t this flawlessly perfect person (a la Brooding YA Hero) he felt like a fully fledged character with personality who wasn’t always happy with the choices Ruby makes. I can definitely get behind two characters I like getting together, it’s why I hope the romance gets interesting in the next book as it wasn’t enough in this book.

My Issue: The Plot

That makes it sound like I didn’t enjoy the story, and that would be a lie. I enjoyed the book and the characters, but I was annoyed that what were meant to be plot twists were glaringly obvious to me five chapters ago. I don’t mind figuring things out but I figured a lot of things out way before they happened and that bothered me. I would have liked a bit more mystery and a bit less predictability. I mean, this may have stemmed from the fact this is a well trod genre and it’s hard to be completely original in YA fantasy and it’s hard to avoid the usual plot points. I may be being too critical, but I did feel like it was following a path which had been done before and that was a bit frustrating.

It’s Not All Doom And Gloom

I did really enjoy Frostblood. I was hooked but suffering from a slump which left me not wanting to read. Basically, this is a really fun YA fantasy which fans of that genre will enjoy. It isn't ground-breaking. It will never define the genre. But why does every book need to be new and amazing? I liked it a lot and would easily recommend it to others, surely that means it's a good read, right? I will definitely be sticking around for the next book, anyway. I need to know what happens next and any book which hooks you like that deserves some love in my eyes.

Have you read this and what did you think? And tell me I’m not alone with needing to be blown away with a book to still be able to thoroughly enjoy it.

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#a fool's ingenuity #books

[authorkylehartman]

Liberated (Short Story)

Alex and Haley, a good friend of his, walk out of Victoria Secrets. Haley wanted to buy a few things, although Alex feels like she had more of a reason to have him there with her, however he was not going to turn down going to a store like that with an exotic light brown skinned Asian woman with deep amber eyes and amazingly silky long black hair that is currently pulled back in a bun. However, Alex loves it when she has her hair down, even if he hasn't told her this. It is a cool spring day, about sixty degrees with a slight breeze. Though that has little bearing on them inside this large mall. Alex is Caucasian and has bright blue eyes. He has a medium sized body build with short light brown hair. Haley is slightly tall for her very small frame and has perky fair sized breasts. Alex is much taller than she is however, in fact, he is a whole head taller than her. Alex is also three years older than Haley. Though despite all this, Alex is lost, in his own head. The young man has something else on his mind, something that is always there. Though when he is with Haley there are two things on his mind. Things he can't stop thinking about. He knows she really likes him. That she is constantly thinking about him, like he does her, when he is around her. She is an amazing person. She is caring and loving. Alex looks over at her, both of them smiling. Looking into Haley's eyes, Alex once again tries to take in all her beauty. Everything from her ears and cheeks in, but mostly deep in her big amber eyes. Every time he does this he finds it increasingly difficult to contain himself. She is so gorgeous inside and out. They do a lot together and he loves being around her. Actually, just now, she grabs his hand, but he pulls his away. She wants to be together, but that wouldn't be fair to her. He knows she wants it bad. Real bad, but he cannot do it. Alex can't be with her. He wouldn't be all in mentally. There is something blocking it for him, though he knows just what that is. Deep down, Alex does really like her and knows it would be a good relationship, but he can't get passed this one thing. “Alex, why don't you want to hold my hand?” Haley asks with her accent, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. Alex knows it hurts her that he does this; which in turn hurts him, maybe it's time to discuss the elephant in the room. Walking down the corridor, Alex is trying to think of the best way to say this, “Maybe we should go to the food court. We can talk there.” Looking over at her, he attempts a smile, but fails seeing her face. Not the look, but just that he knows what she wants and how badly. Though he hates the look on her face, it seems like it is etched in his mind now, even looking away. “I would like to know right now, Alex. You have known for months that I want to be more than just friends, so why have you not said anything. You don't need to jump in with me, but I've been hoping for months. One of us can transfer at work.” Alex can hear the words, even the unspoken ones. The young man can't even look over at her. Instead, he just looks up, seeing the food court come into view... and something else. Instantly the room around disappears and there is an eerie silence. The only thing that could erase his mind and what he is thinking. Allie. Before he can even warn Haley, Allie looks up just in time to see Alex standing in front of her. “Allie,” Alex says with as much disdain as love in his voice. Glancing over at Haley, Alex can see that she now has different questions for him. “Hi” Is all Allie can say as she stares at Haley. Knowing that she doesn't care who Haley is, “How have you been?” He glances at her friend now. “I'm fine.” This is just like every time he texts her or calls her. She has nothing to say, like the time they spent together wasn't incredible. Like it wasn't something special, meant to be. Just like in recent attempts to talk to her, Alex cuts his losses, wrapping his arm around Haley and guiding her past Allie and her friend. Vaguely with his poor hearing, Alex swears he hears Allie say something, but he hasn't tried to talk to her in two weeks because of encounters like what he just endured. He doesn't stop to ask, only keeps moving. She is trying, too late. Once they are out of the mall, “Alex!” Haley pleads and he now realizes he has his arm around her. The young man promptly lets her go, looking at the desperate look on her face and feels his heart sink into his guts. “That's it, isn't it? That's the reason you won't go out with me, huh? How long ago did she break up with you?” The words cut Alex deep, but not because he's been caught, but because he is ashamed of his feelings. Ashamed that he does really like Haley and knows she deserves better than this. Thinking about how deeply this must hurt her, Alex can't talk. His brain is trying to process so much information that his head begins to spin. Finally, he just stops, shuts it all down. He turns to head for the car. “Alex!” Haley pleads again trying to keep up. “I'll take you home, I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to hide this. Just didn't want to talk about her and how she makes me feel.” He looks at her just long enough to confess this. “I'd still like to know about this situation. I would like to hear you out and how you feel about Allie. All this time, I thought it was just work and one of us having to transfer out.” Haley looks down focusing on her legs, it is becoming a struggle to keep up with him. “You know you never spoke of her before.” Looking back up at the back of his head, she whips away a tear. “Can you please slow down?” Haley asks nearly pleading trying to ignore her own pain now. Finally, he stops and turns to Haley and embraces her. Without a thought, she reciprocates the action. “I know; I know I never did. I've been drowning, trying to pull myself out, away from my demon. I dated Allie nearly six months ago; Which is as long as we actually dated. I have known her over a year, though. Shall we get to the car? It's just over there.” Alex points and she can see his brand new black Nissan. “Sure,” She tells him and they both let go. Once they are in the car, Alex looks at her, turning the engine over. “I'll answer any questions you want to know. Okay?” He looks her in the eye for only a moment. “I want to know your feelings towards her, now?” Haley begins the interrogation. This is the first time she has really gotten much out of him, at least from last year. “Well, I still feel like I love her, but I can say with just as much certainty that she is the most cruel and hurtful person I have ever met. Those two feelings have caused a lot of disdain, bordering on hatred.” Alex looks over to gauge her reaction to what he has confessed. Haley looks away, but just for a moment, “Six months made you feel this strongly for her?” “Yes. It was the most incredible time in my life. I've thought of her as the one. I don't know how to describe it. I had a three year relationship that was really good, but she meant more than that one did. In fact, my friendship with her caused Alison to break things off with me, even if nothing happened between us.” Now Alex thinking about Haley and her feelings, “I know you hate hearing this.” He can no longer look over at her, doesn't want to see the hurt on her face. Alex knows she is trying to hide it, but she isn't doing a great job. “I do, but I have to ask, where does this leave me? Would you take her back if she wanted it?” She is looking out the window and it hurts Alex knowing what he is putting this beautiful, loving woman through. “No I wouldn't take her back. She has pulled this shit too long for me to ever take her back.” Alex looks over at Haley again, “I can't answer where this leaves you. I really like you. I mean a lot and we have a lot in common, but I don't know. I can't answer that question right now.” She nods and closes her eyes, “I think you need to talk to her. Not about getting back together, but just so you can move on.”

A few hours pass by and Alex can't take it anymore, he calls Allie. “Alex, that was rude early.” “Oh ya, that was rude. Right, and I haven't been stepped on repeatedly. You can handle it once. We need to talk, now.” He closes his eyes knowing she isn't going to go for it. “I don't think we should. You enjoy that girl that you never introduced me too. Have fun with her.” Alex shakes his head, “Allie, I wasn't asking. I'm telling you, we need to talk.” “I'm still hanging out with Beth.” Now he raises his voice slightly, “Allie, I will say it again, I am not asking. I am telling you. We are going to talk. Meet me at Old Chicago in thirty minutes. Please, for once trust me.” Alex hangs up the phone, knowing she will do it, because he called her out and challenged her.

Alex walks into Old Chicago about ten minutes before she is supposed to show up. Once seated the waiter comes up to greet him, “Good evening, are we waiting for one more?” “Yes” Alex begins knowing this is going to sound a bit strange, he extends his credit card out to him, “Could you run that for two soda's, but bring two waters?” The waiter takes the card and nods his head, “Very well.” He responds as he walks away. A few minutes later he brings the waters and lays the bill down in front of Alex. “This will only take a moment and then you can ignore this table.” Looking down at the bill he sees that it comes up to three dollars. Alex writes down a five dollar tip and eight for the total. “Thank you,” He tells the waiter as he hands him the bill and now he just waits for Allie to show up. A smile comes across his face know, whatever happens, this is it. He's done with her and he isn't going to be afraid to rip into her. Oh yes, the countdown has begun in his head. Five minutes after he had asked her too be there, she still is not. Alex feels his phone through his pants, thinking about calling her to talk since she isn't woman enough to meet him. As he decides to get up and leave, his phone vibrates. Alex doesn't have to look at it to know that it is her. Looking up, he sees her enter the building and head towards him. Like her, he can't advert his gaze. She is probably the most stunning and beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. Not only has he fallen for her, but specifically he loves her long dark curly hair and her lip piercing. She is also nearly a head shorter than he is. Though his favorite thing had to be her personality and how she acted around him when they were together and before. Truthfully he had started falling for her while he was in the midst of a three year relationship and that took a lot to happen. It was because of how special and amazing he found her too be. Her doing what she wants attitude. Though still caring about the opinions of the people closes to her, who care the most about her, but that has changed. Now he wonders if she cares about anyone. “Well, I'm here, can we make this quick?” Allie asks finally looking away, as she sits down. “It will only be as quick as it can be. Trust me, I'm not exactly enjoying myself either.” Alex shoots back and surprisingly he finds himself thinking of Haley. “Well, I have Beth waiting outside, so it can't take to long.” Alex can see right through her smile. “Another perfect example of how you won't be able to redeem yourself once you see what you have fucked for yourself. Shouldn't you trust someone who not only has your best interest at heart and has far more experience than you do? Obviously that is an absurd idea. Look, I knew that because of the path you were going down that you would have to go through a few relationships before you realize what you fucked, but the way you have been treating me. You wanted to be friends, but friends don't constantly fuck the other person. They don't ignore or try to make them feel like shit. You have done a perfect job of that.” “I wonder though if you knew that I would be able to help you cope? I know you have issues of abandonment. You haven't seen your mother in five years, but you have to learn to fucking trust someone. You will find it extremely difficult to find a relationship half as good as what we had. Oh, don't get it twisted, you are through. You have fucked yourself real good this time. I know you are only twenty-one years old, but you know what? When you find that one fucking person, you do whatever it takes to work through it.” “Shit, you should at least try if the relationship is half decent, again I know you are only twenty-one. Remember the person I dated before you? Three years, I never told you that we were engaged. Actually the wedding was scheduled for the same day you broke up with me. Though I have to say, you effected me more than that did. Though I have to wonder, why should I try when you don't give a fuck. When it feels like you only want to torment me. Make no mistake about it, I'm fully capable of walking away forever, find someone else and see you in a shallow emotionless relationship, knowing that you fucked yourself. Allie, I promise, I am not trying to be mean, but this is the pent up anger from knowing that you don't give a fuck and are enjoying what you are doing to me. I have to say this though, there is a reason not a lot of people like you or want to get close to you, it's because of this right here, what I am seeing now. That is why most people will never like you. I knew what you were capable of before we started dating-” “Then why did you twist me in the first place?” Allie pleads in tears hearing all the hurtful words. “Everything you did made me like you more and more. Until I had to have you, I had to experience you-” “Don't interrupt me, again.” Alex strongly informs her in a low voice, “Even knowing about this fucked side of you, having seen you at the bottom, why would I still want you?” Alex looks away trying to hide a tear instinctively, though knowing it is over he looks back, uncaring. “I would think you are smart enough to figure that one out, our did we both over estimate your intelligence?” Allie whips her face that is now becoming red and swollen. “Why? I don't get it and just so you know, I am getting no pleasure out of it. This still hurts me too. It's not fair to tell me that it doesn't.” “Well, this just shows how immature you still are. I agree with you, you are not ready for a real relationship. Damn straight not good enough for me. You have a funny way of showing that you care about me. Don't get me wrong, I still care about you and love you, but the way you have been treating me when I pour my heart out to you, and not just my feelings, but anytime I try to talk to you, is unforgivable. Back to the question though, why would I still want to date you knowing how cruel and uncaring you can be? I have seen you at your worst even before we dated, but I can truly tell you I never did see you at your best, not even when we dated, though I know it's there. I hope you are happy because you will never have that side appear. You made sure of that.” Alex smiles, but not because he is proud of himself, but because he is disgusted with both of them. “Are you saying you would have brought that side out in me?” She asks once again whipping her eyes. “Eventually, remember you told me you never felt that down when you were with me? It was only going to get better. Honestly I'm still not sure if you ended it to play a game. Maybe you wanted to see if I could lift myself back up and in turn help you do the same, but you should have seen that I was already doing that for you. Wasn't it nearly everyday you felt down and depressed before we started dating? I don't recall seeing that, but maybe once at the beginning and it's because you found someone strong enough to absorb all your sadness and more importantly wanted nothing else than to do that for you. I got happiness out of that. I did screw up though, I wasn't strong enough to make it so that even a blind motherfucker could see it. I never thought you were weak enough to relapse.  Like I said, I'm not to worried about upsetting you now.” “I've been thinking a lot about one thing. The day you did what you felt was right, not knowing it was the worst thing you could do. On that day, I said something that truly upset you. Something that anyone else in the world would forgive, because more important shit is at steak. Though most people are strong enough to not let that fucking statement effect them too much. I've said all I need to say, but one thing that I would like to repeat,” Alex closes his eye, savoring the moment the he finally completely sheds himself of this situation. The moment he finally feels free again, “Fuck you.” He states emphatically as he opens his eyes. Now he stands up and looks down at her, “Just so you know, I would have taken anything you dished out with a smile. Even fifty/ sixty years from now. All with a smile. Strength never fading. I never would have thought about giving up on you. I just wish you wouldn't have underestimated my strength. One day you will realize what you did, one day, but when that day comes and I'm not there anymore, try to carry on, don't give in. You do have a lot to offer the world. I promise you do, beautiful.” Now he finally walks away leaving it all behind him. Once out in the fresh air he feels like a new person. He'd been happy-ish the past few weeks and had moved on, but now he truly feels liberated. Though quickly the smile fades. Thinking completely clear now he knows what he must do, but fears he might be too late. Alex must talk to Haley, despite any conflict of interest at his Walgreen's store, the twenty-five year old Assistant Store manager knows what he must do. He must try for Haley.

Driving down the dark road with the only illumination coming from headlights and streetlights Alex pulls into the parking lot of the store. Allie is working tonight, but he isn't exactly here for her, it's more than just too see her. Parking his car he gets out and walks into the building, “Alex!” The person on the register hollers at him, the store is 24 hours and by this time, nine, it has died down. Though despite the time he knows his boss is still in the store. First though Alex sees Haley over in cosmetics, she is looking at him, having heard his name. Haley is surprised that he is right there in front of her. With a smile he walks over to her, “Hey Alex, how's your day been? What brings you up here on your day off?” Alex catches her trying to hide whipping her eye's. “Haley, I came up here for a reason that you, I am sure have guessed.” Alex stares into her eye's once again gauging her reaction. “Alex, don't. I don't think it's a good idea anymore. You still have feelings for your ex. I don't want to have to remind you that I am with you, not her. I don't want to be your back up. Please just forget about it. I was wrong.” Haley confesses turning back to filling the perfume wall. “No, I was wrong as always. You were right. I just needed to talk to her to finally feel completely free of her. You are worth far more than a back up plan.” A huge smile stretches across the face of Alex, “As clear as I stand before you, Haley, I want to officially give this a chance.” His pocket vibrates and Alex curiously pulls his phone out. It's a text from Allie, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I hadn't realized what I was doing too you. Truthfully I had figured out what you had done for me Though I didn't feel like you deserved to go through that Can I get another chance? “It's her, isn't it?” Haley nearly whispers in a defeated voice, As Alex puts his phone back in his pocket. “Go ahead and run back too her. It's okay.” “Haley, I just told her off. Of course she is going to want to come back. It won't happen though. I know the same shit will just happen again. She'll fuck it up. Forget about her, I don't want her. I feel too liberated. I am going to say it again, Haley, I stand before you as your Assistant Store Manager, asking, officially  for a chance with you?” Haley giggles a little and Alex is hoping it is because of the way he said it; Which is what he had intended. “I say give it a try, life's too short.” Both of there heads snap to the side, Alex to the right, before them stands the store manager. The smile never leaving the face of Alex, the feeling of freedom and being able to do anything rushes back to the surface seeing the look on her face. “We were going to come talk to you in the office in just a moment, I just need confirmation from her.” Alex informs the Store manager. “Well, I will continue to pretend I know nothing about this and will conveniently be sitting back in the office talking to Nick.” She replies turning around and walking away. Nick is a shift lead, however that information is neither here nor there. The two turn back to each other, “Come on Haley. I know this deep down. This is worth the chance. I can't pretend to know that it will work out in the end, but I know there is a lot here and it's worth trying.” Haley says nothing, just continues to stare at him, “Come on, I've never begged before, but I not afraid too, my ego can handle it.” Alex's nerves are nearing there peak and he is getting close to losing them. He can see in this situation now; What Allie can't in there situation. Haley laughs, “I know how big that ego is, it wouldn't even put a slight dent in it.” She smiles looking around before continuing, “So, earlier today Brittany asked me what was going on. I'm sorry I'm not trying to change the subject. I guess though that she could see that I was upset. I didn't tell her anything, but she guessed that it had to do with you. She guessed that we are closer than we should be.” “How? We don't act like it at work.” Alex asks curious. “She said she could see it in my eyes whenever I would mention you or you would be around she could see me light up. Anyways she guessed it and confessed tonight, so I came clean. She is totally jealous though.” Haley giggles like she hasn't all night. “I figured she would be, though that doesn't calm my nerves. I would like an answer, but first I must confess, after the last two months, I can't hide this from you, I'm starting to fall in love with you.” Alex walks around the counter to stand next to her. Haley only stares at him, before a tear rolls down her cheek. Alex quickly and gently wipes it away. “I have to confess then too, I'm not just falling for you, I have. I love you.” Haley informs him rubbing her cheek against his hand. Instinctively Alex opens his hand, upon the request. She now rubs her cheek against his palm. “Lets go talk too Shannon now.” Alex smiles at her slowly moving his hand from her cheek, down her arm, until he reaches her hand. Haley turns her hand around as he gently caresses her opisthenar. As quickly as she can, to not let the moment pass, she grabs his hand excitedly. Alex can't help but smile seeing the joy on her face. “Okay,” She whispers not wanting to speak in this moment. “Shannon” Alex begins as the couple enter the backroom and they release each others hands. “Oh Alex, what brings you in tonight? Haley, I found another display box for you in the backroom.” “Okay, I'll get it in a moment.” She flashes her smile at Shannon momentarily as the couple sit down opposite her. “So,” Alex begins, “I guess at this moment it is no longer a secret.” “Oh I have figured for the last month that this day was coming.” Shannon smiles at the young couple. A bit surprised, “That's the second time, how did you figure it?” He asks not sure how long or deep the charade is going to go on. Shannon laughs, “It was Haley that gave it away. I might be busy as you are when your here, Alex, but like you I can keep my eyes on a lot of things. I could see the way she got happier just by you entering the room and contain your ego here Alex, but It wasn't just because of how funny and charming you are. There was actually something too it. Not only that, but when she would talk about you or look at you. Anyways so what are we thinking here to resolve the conflict of interest? Alex, you already know that there is an Assistant Store manager opening at the location closest to you. I could get you the spot. Also, the store up the street a couple miles has your cosmetics manager position open, Haley. There is no doubt that you are knowledgeable and friendly enough to transfer there. Eric would love you as his cosmetics manager.” “Now, now, if that is what we do, I guess I'll have to have a little talk with Eric.” Alex laughs not really caring which option is chosen. He has gotten what he wants already. “Eric is a close friend of yours, I think he would laugh at any threat.” Shannon jokes back. “I believe that would be an accurate assumption of his reaction.” Alex states looking over at Haley, “I got what I wanted already, you make the choice.” As he speaks, Alex grabs her hand and pulls it over to him. “Lets not have you too holding hands or anything until after we get this resolved. Though I am confident you two can continue to work together without conflict for the next few days, until the transfer is finalized. “Then I choose to stay. Alex already has a far longer drive than I do. At least I can be here in seven minutes. This way he doesn't have a half hour to drive.” Haley smiles up at Alex. “Well, I just have one thing to say, if you just move up the street, on days we work the same hours, there would be a chance we could take our lunch together.” Alex smiles back at Haley. “Okay, lets do that.” Haley announces triumphantly. “Then I will send Eric an email informing him of the situation and that I found him a cosmetics manager.” Shannon informs them. “Now. Back to work Haley, Alex I will see you tomorrow.” “Oh yes you will. I'll be very tired, but I will be here in the morning.” The couple get up to leave the room, “Nick” Alex says looking over him. “Yo, Alex” He greets him back casually. Haley nudges Alex gently, “Why will you be very tired?” Her curiosity getting the best of her. Because in forty minutes when you get off, I will be taking you out on our first official date. I'm thinking Upstream brewing. I know you love there food and are starting to enjoy there beer.” “Why yes I am, but I will need to go to my place to change. This is not acceptable attire for that place.” Haley smiles as she reaches up and kisses Alex. After she pulls away, “I'll have to change too.” He reminds her. “No, you don't have too. You live to far away. I'm okay with what you have on, besides it would be acceptable.” “But it's our first official date and I want to, for you.” Alex informs her feeling full of himself, but still down to earth. “I love you.” she simply states as she kisses him again. “Tisk tisk you too.” Brittany giggles. “You still work together as of now you know.” The young blonde is standing at the other end of the isle. “Brittany, get back to work or I'll find something for you too do and you won't like it.” Alex messes back. “Maybe I will like it.” She winks as she walks away. “Oh I am so going to get her.” Haley remarks though not upset at all. “Just get your display box set up so that you can get out of here. This won't be like the last two months. When you date me you get the best of the best. You won't be able to control yourself.” He winks at her. “I find that hard too do anyway. Though you've know that weakness for a month now.” Haley laughs back with a wink of her own. “I know. Though seriously you will have an incredible time.” “I always have with you. Anyways bye baby.” Haley kisses him once more before watching him leave the building.

#writing #writer #reading #story #short story #author #kyle hartman