#and then i rly liked what i drew so i said fuck it and kept it

[ask6mukuro9]

its cute that fuuta still calls dino nii-san...

who does torikabutos nails. fierce. go off queen.

what uhm. what kind of juice do you think they keep these guys in. if it were me id like apple juice

for mukuro they kept him in pickle brine. he was being pickled

thjis is so funny. i want them to start spitting and hissing at each other like cats

at the time i was too embarrassed about completely forgetting basil, but now. what the fuck is he doing here. who made the decision that past basil needed to be here and now just grown up basil. is he dead. 

cuties...

fightingallycats.mp4

JHFEJHDSXUDXCVJUKDXCVJU THIS SI SOOOO STUPID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

even tsuna, who swears up and down that gokudera is his friend and his subordinate, being surprised. ... interesting

i got rly excited abt the varia coming back.. but then i remembered squalo got obliterated in the vongola base.. whatever.. i didnt want to see him again. it doesnt matter.......

lussuria being the only one to ask about squalo.. luss being close enough with squalo that he can take over being the captain.. breasties

phrasing

THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EVIL..... HES FIVE

GET ON THE HYDRAS BACK! GET ON THE HYDRAS BACK!

......

I DREW THIS LIKE A WEEK AGO SDEIKHDGHG always stay committed to the bit

IM SO OBSESSED WITHT THE WAY FRAN BOUNCES OFF OF MUKURO

oh?

chrome engaging in very lesbian behaviors 

i................. i.. did he juszt snap tsunas neck..... my jaw has actually dropped in shock... wh.......

WH.... HOLD ON. WAIT. STOP. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. I NEED A SECOND. HOLD ON... DID TSUNA JUST RECOVER FROM A SNAPPED NECK????? BECAUSE REBORN SAID HE NEEDED TO????????????

come back from this one idiot

boo they brought him back too early. the blood was still pumping

.. this is a little much. i need you to tone it down a bit.

ok... they look dope.. and?

... extremely weirdchamp..........................

YEAH!!!!!!!!! GET HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......................................

.......................................................................................... how nice *irritated*

#khr reread

[diaryofseraph]

weeeee 9/16

on friday, he came over after he realized it was empty at his work and it caught me off guard because he texted me when he got to my apartment complex, not when he left

so cue a flurry of me cleaning and tidying up my apartment while he dicks around on my desktop, working on photoshopping a picture of me he took while we were hiking, the one where i look like a boy LMAO

then i show him pictures of us that i drew, and honestly i appreciated how he took his time looking at them and even memorizing what they said/consisted of (e.g. imitating the thumb biting from one strip GHHGG)

i told him that i had a secret collection of more drawings but rly was lying HAHA, but i do plan to draw something for a 1 yr anniversary (june 13??) if we get that far ^_^ it’s always been my dream to do something like that for a SO, esp since i never was able to do it for kunal,,,

then i didn’t know how to initiate sex so i just resumed my usual headpats, and he cheekily let me know that my head was “10 inches too far from where i should be aiming” lmfao

so cue me going down on him, undoing his belt, kissing his underwear, and god it was really hot how he kept looking at me and didn’t really take his eyes off of me. when i put him inside my mouth, i loved how he thrusted into my mouth (honestly he could be rougher with me like when he pulled my hair back into a ponytail and thrusted as well -- that one time was like GAD DAMN). i also think i’m getting better at deepthroating because i’m getting more used to the sensation of things hitting the back of my throat, so yay for practice :p

then he pulled me up so we could make out, and he rubbed me while i was on top. 

thennn he got on top of me

“this is the hardest i’ve ever been”

“you’re so fucking hot”

“where do you want it”

and me being rly hesitant but saying inside me

and then him saying i’m so dirty and wondering if it’ll show up on the tsa scan LMAO

and him saying “fuck” as he finishes inside me

[cheswirls]

a wildfire from this fic

#drawing is difficult #op #/cries i did this for a warmup #then i went back to it and spent the last 2 days finishing it #rip last week of inktober ig #okay but! i did rly like how the words came out i had so much fun w that #also the mask is like. not the same ik i was messing around bc ive never done a mask before #and then i rly liked what i drew so i said fuck it and kept it #me: i know what a color scheme is #also me: am i willing to ruin this color scheme for the sake of a red hat? yes yes i am #god also i tried something dif w shading that i rly liked #bc the coat and bg are black i colored in all the light and then blended it #i rly like!! how it turned out #even tho it ended up as the bg playing more of the shading #also i spent like a good 30m trying to get a white border and then decided the lines were too light and it wasnt working #i should still have it on the file... but not this vers hah #i rly wanted his metal arm somewhere then i remembered gloves #i actually had to go back and see which one it was rbwglwhgw im still rereading thru it #i was prepared to have the left sleeve all wavy then i was like wait.. is it the left #and then wait.. didnt he get a new arm #anyway you cant rly see it but theres grey poking out from the right glove thats supposed to be metal #this came out a lot darker (colorwise) than i thought?? oops #ANYWAy im glad im done w this i had fun but i need to do other stuff now

[masoqueen-official]

October of paperhat (inktober) 2021

Day 26 - Heat

"𝕀 𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕀'𝕞 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕦𝕟, 𝕀'𝕞 𝕤𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣."

Sorry for taking so long I was binging villainous crack xDDD you know how it is

Guess who got 30 fucking shark teeth when they though nothing would happennnn (like omg i was almost about to give some away- I WAS HOLDING AT LEAST 300,000 YEARS IN MY HANDS PEOPLE-)

But more about that later...

I did it! I actually made this one beach themed and a literal representation- jesus christ, the amount of times i re-did bh's eye (i redid his mouth once lol) HhuhajIiJjm, pMmm

My dad actually gave me some inspiration for this one and i said, "y'know what you actually gave me an idea for half of this thanks-" he basically said something about an aura around a person, but i think this works better. XD

Flug doesn't even know how to react anymore and bh is just like: "I may hate shorts but I'm notgoing to look stupid ✨" i also apologize for the filter pff idk

You also see how i snuck in that shark tooth canister and bag to compare to what i did? Yeahhh

I was thinking about giving him some fancy device to aid him in the sun but i was braindead so you get teeth instead-! Fun huh?

Speaking of fun, here's the other part-

The beach i went to was casperton(?) in Venice, Florida (calm down calm down i wanna go to) since we loaned some gear. And I gotta tell ya', it's as pretty as pretty can get that's not tropical blue water but instead has a bunch of seaweed *shivers* (i don't like touching seaweed)

((I'm about to loose my shit because the paragraph i typed is gone and I'm going as fast as i can GODDAMN IT so you get the simple simple version))

- Active decaying pufferfish and crabs were cool (it was)

- big scoop of "masochism give me strengtHhhh" and a sad washed away pile except it wasn't sad because big tooth was there :)

- CLEAN ASS SANDDOLLAR YAYYYYY

- i think that was it

- we thought we found 2 megladons but the first one (which i fohnd for the record U_U) looked like a rock so i got rid of it and the other one we kept because my dad was so confident and i was like okAy Then

- there was also black (grey) sand which was c o o l but woosh erosion got me like 😩 In the ocean

- also you know that feeling when someone has a lot of something or is rly popular in so,e public place or doing something usual and you're like m a n i wish that was me, well walking around with -30 something teeth might do the trick XD

- oh yeah and while we were heading out we (me, i did) noticed so many teeth in the concrete (cuz they put shells in stuff in them there) and it was such a tease, especially because one tooth was sticking out and you could feel it but it was stuck 😭😭😭

ANYWAY

I WROTE

A LOT OF STUFF

SO HOPE YOU LIKED IT Gtg now BYEEEE

(oh yeah and the sand pic i drew next to a flug sand pic on anpther day lol)

#gal3xystar #iza #I'M WRITTING AS FAST AS I CAN OKAY #rip that good paragraph #inktober 2021 #shark teeth #art #drawing #tradtional art #inktober #paperhat #paperhattober #phtober #beach #memories #Ink #pen #black hat #flug #villainous #October #Day 26 #heat #misssnake visual art #me with #The wrong #prompt

[zeni-chu]

Warmth

Zenitsu Agatsuma x Reader

A/N: this is entirely self-indulgent 😂 I love him so much and I get cold rly easily myself so I couldn’t help myself 😌

Pairing: Zenitsu Agatsuma x Reader

Warnings: None rly!

Words: 1900 

The blizzard winds howled as the sky powdered the earth with little white flakes of frost, chilling you to the bone. Your hands tightly gripped your arms as you cross them over your shivering frame, trying to hold in whatever body heat you had left. Walking beside you was your comrade and best friend Zenitsu, the two of you had been sent on a mission to a village high in the mountains. His teeth chattered as he too wrapped his arms around himself to keep himself warm however he could. The coats the two of you had brought gave you a bit of warmth but did little to block out the piercing cold of the icy storm. You were always one to get cold easily, so the situation you had found yourself in was hell, seeing as you were absolutely positive there was going to be no way you’d be able to get any sort of warmth on this journey.

“Th-this sucks! We’re going to freeze to death out here!” He whined, a panicked undertone to his words. You half agreed internally, yet kept your thought to yourself as you attempted to respond in a way that would calm his worries, “I think we should find shelter and wait out the blizzard!” Having to raise your voice to be heard above the storm, your throat stung from the cold air you were sure was in the negative temperatures. You received only an eager nod in response, turning your gaze to scan the area around you for any semblance of a shelter. Your eyes landed on what looked to be a sort of cave in the side of the mountain you were ascending, pointing towards it with hope, “There! Come on Zenitsu let’s hurry!” You grabbed his hand to tug him towards the cave causing him to blink in surprise and pushed down the pink that dusted his cheeks to focus on following you.

Shuffling hurriedly through the deep snow, the two of you stepped through the mouth of the cave, pushing forward to the back wall to put distance between you and the blizzard. Your breath puffed in clouds but the lack of strong winds and falling snow was a welcome change.

After catching your breath you decided to build a fire using the sticks you had packed in your bag. “You brought firewood with you?” Zenitsu broke the silence with a curious tone.

“Well, yea. I knew we wouldn’t make it to the village in one day, and it’s on a snowy mountain,” you stated in a matter-of-fact way, “I decided to play it safe and bring some stuff with me in case anything were to happen. And lo-and-behold!” Ending with a slight smile, you struck sparks onto the patch of kindling, gently blowing on the small flames to help them grow. Placing the kindling under the firewood and making sure they stayed lit, you sat back with crossed legs and moved your bag to the side to give yourself room, all the while honey-colored eyes watched your every move subconsciously. As you shivered and warmed your hands against the flame you felt his gaze and looked up to match it, casting him a smile that warmed his cheeks. He looked away bashfully as he too and held up his hands to the fire, not a sound between the two of you other than the howling winds and crackling firewood. The silence between the two demon slayers left Zenitsu to his thoughts, all of which seemed to wander to (Y/N). The way your contagious smile could brighten his mood to matter what, the way your angelic laugh made his heart squeeze, the way you never ran out of patience for the boy and his antics, the way kindness seemed to drip from your very being; everything about you was absolutely infatuating to him.

“Zenitsu?” The boy was dragged out of his thoughts by your call, concern lacing your tone.

“Y-yes?”

A soft sigh made its way past your lips, which curved upwards in a gentle manner, never once losing your seemingly endless patience. “I said I’m going to try to get some rest, silly. Are you okay?” (Y/N) leaned forward and put the back on their hand on their partner’s forehead, “You feel a bit warm, did you catch a cold?”

The blonde-haired boy gasped and quickly leaned backwards, his blush deepening to a cherry-red and his hands shooting up to frantically wave off your concern, “N-No! I’m fine, really!! You don’t have to worry, just get some rest!”

A small chuckle escaped you and you leaned back as you agreed and unpacked your belongings for the night. With your futon rolled out and bedding set up you turned to Zenitsu whose face was still basically steaming as he stared intently at his hands still being warmed, “Hey Zenitsu,” you called out hesitantly, “Can... Um, c-can you turn around for a bit please? I want to change into my yukata so I can sleep.”

“Oh! Y-yea! Of course!” Whipping around to face the rock wall, he desperately tried to focus on anything but the sound of fabric falling to the ground as you undressed. Slipping on the sleepwear, you turned around to let him know you were done. “I’m done now, Zenitsu. Thank you!” Mumbling a response he turned back around to face the only source of heat in the hollow as you crawled under the covers of your bed. Before you could close your eyes, you realized something that made you sit up and stare at the boy sitting across from you with furrowed brows, earning a confused look from him.

“Hey, Zenitsu, did you bring your futon?” You could practically hear the gears turning in his head, and eventually, with a stroke of horror he realized he hadn’t brought it with him and let out a scream, his hands gripping his head and tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

“I didn’t!! I thought we would’ve gotten to the village by now so I didn’t think I’d need to!! I’m going to freeze to death out here! I’m going to freeze to death and it’s all my fault!”

“Sleep with me.”

His frantic cries stopped as your words processed through his brain. Immediately a blush so bright it was nearly glowing flushed over his face, ears and neck as you too blush at your misconstrued statement, “N-not like that of course! I just thought, well, since I’m the only one who brought a mattress and I don’t want you to freeze... You could sleep next to me..? There’s enough room...” Your voice trailed off near the end of your sentence, muttering under your breath, but Zenitsu heard. He heard every word, and with every word he grew impossibly redder and his heart rate sped up.

“You don’t have to right now, think about it for a while if you need to.” Your restful tone and tender smile certainly wasn’t helping the boy calm down.

‘Sleep!? With (Y/N)!? They’re okay with that!?’ he thought to himself, ‘They actually care about me enough to do that?’ Of course he knew that you cared about him, but he had his doubts and insecurities that he struggled with. The fact that you had been so willingly open about being concerned for his wellbeing threw the butterflies in his stomach into a fit. Removing his shoes and belt that carried his katana as quietly as possible, he decided that he’d rather nearly have a heart attack lying next to his crush than freeze to death as he padded across the cold cave floor. Gulping, he crouched next to your sleeping form, your back facing him. Swallowing his anxiety and embarrassment, he silently slid into bed next to you covering himself with the blanket while making sure you had more than enough for yourself. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment while he struggled to calm his racing pulse but quickly snapped open as he heard the one next to him shift around to face him. Somehow, he wasn’t sure how, but somehow you were even more beautiful in the warm light cast on your features from the still burning fire that burned behind him.

You smiled sweetly, “Thank you Zen, I was worried about you.” 

The nickname you had given him made his heart flutter, ‘I should be the one thanking you,’ before he could respond you shivered and pulled the blankets draped over you closer, attempting to draw in the small amount of heat your body had created. Getting cold easily was already annoying to deal with, but being stranded in a cave with a raging blizzard outside really looks you in the eye and gives you a big ‘Fuck You.’ Even though you had started a fire and were swamped in the blanket you had brought with you, you still struggled to generate enough body heat to keep yourself warm.

He frowned, seeing you unhappy and shivering cold made him hurt, he had to think of a way to help. Taking a deep breath to steady himself he shakily drew you into his arms, swathing you in his haori and the blankets. You gasped as your face heated and your heart skipped a beat, “Zenitsu?” you questioned. “Y-you were cold and you offered to share this bed with me and s-so I wanted to keep you warm!” You could see the nervousness behind his golden eyes and couldn’t help your lips curving upward, he was too cute for his own good. The smile was sweet and held an expression he couldn’t quite decipher, “Thank you,” you whispered in a tone that dripped of affection.

“Of course... I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable. I-If I am I can move-” you cut him off by snuggling closer into his chest and giving a soft sigh, finding comfort in his scent, “Can we stay like this?” you spoke timidly, your voice barely above a whisper. He froze, if his hearing weren’t so great he would swear he misunderstood. You want to stay cuddling with Him? Of course it’s not like he would turn down the request, he would stay like this with you in his arms forever if he could. It was simply the fact that You, (Y/N), the most incredible, beautiful, kind, and lovely person he had ever met, enjoyed laying in his arms breathing in his scent.

“Yea...” his tone grew faint, “Yea we can stay like this,” finally answering, his pounding heart slowing ever so slightly as he relaxed. It was as though you were made for him, your frame fit so perfectly in his arms. His haori was just the right size to hold you in. This moment was just so perfect. You were so perfect.

“Hey Zen?” You broke the comfortable silence briefly, mumbling sleepy words. “Yes, (Y/N)?” he replied meekly. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Zenitsu smiled and looked down at you laying against his chest to reply only for his heart to swell with warmth as he found you fast asleep curled into him. Instead of replying, he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead and snuggled closer, closing his eyes. 

Suddenly the storm outside didn’t seem cold anymore.

#was this self indulgent? #yes. #do i regret it? #no! #i love this boy too much #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #zenitsu x reader #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #zenitsu agatsuma #reader insert #constructive critism welcome #my words

[every1studio]

REQUESTED: “a secret within a secret” [ateez: seonghwa ft woosan]

(do not read if you are UNCOMFORTABLE with this type of content)

genre: SMUT

ficstyle: bulletpoints + series  [PART 1] [PART 2] [SPECIAL]

request: “ ARE YOU GONNA MAKE A PART THREE FOR THAT WOOSAN SMUT it’s ok if u don’t im just curious but wHEN I TELL YOU I LITERALLY C A C K L E D SO FUCKING LOUD BECAUSE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE END LMFAOOOOO I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCKKKKK FJDJSBAJDNKSKAKS i was so surprised but it was so good !!! i rly rly enjoy that fic, i wasnt expecting a part two hhhdhdb “

note: THIS IS ALL A WORK OF FICTION AND ISN’T MEANT TO BE PORTRAYED IN ANY OTHER WAY + THIS WAS HIGHLY REQUESTED SO I THOUGHT I WOULD INCLUDE IT AS A SPECIAL + I’ll try to get to the requests in my inbox as soon as I can more ideas for them!!! 

you didn’t know how to enter into your classroom the next day 

was it because you couldn’t look at your teacher’s desk knowing what you did San and Wooyoung?

or was it because your young and hot teacher found out that you were fucking with other guys on HIS desk?

all of the above; would be the right answer 

you were usually the first one in class but you couldn’t be alone in the same room with your teacher after what he told you yesterday 

you stood outside the classroom waiting for more of your classmates to walk into class before entering 

San and Wooyoung cocked a smile when they saw you

“hey there, kitten”

“hey there, baby girl”

they both said at the same time, causing them to look at one another 

“kitten fits her better!”

“Y/N told me that she likes baby girl better than kitten!”

they started to yell; causing everyone to look outside to where you were, including your teacher, Mr. Seonghwa Park

you tried to quiet them down before your teacher could step outside your classroom

Mr. Park placed his hands on their shoulders, “I’m sure you don’t want the whole school knowing what you call Ms. Y/N, right? you should get to your class on time~”

the boys rubbed the back of their necks in embarrassment

San pinches your cheek before leaving, “see you after school~”

Wooyoung had to 1-UP San so he pecked you on the cheek before dragging San by the arm

“polyamory relationship, Ms. Y/N? you don’t strike me as the type..” your teacher speaks softly only for you to hear as he shoos your classmates back into class 

“I’m not in a relationship...” you murmured; it was said out loud but you weren’t expecting your teacher to be so interested in your love life

Mr. Park turns to cock a brow at you, “interesting..”

and with that, he started class and you had to push any unnecessary thoughts aside to focus on school 

every time that your mind was clear from all distractions, you would catch your teacher staring at you

you nervously look away when he would lick his lips as he kept eye contact with you; he’d pull out his chapstick so other students wouldn’t suspect any reason for him to constantly lick or bite his lips other than having “dry, irritated” lips 

it was like you were ready for that bell to ring for lunch; the moment you heard it you tried to bolt out of your seat and out the door

“Ms. Y/N, please come meet me in my office please,” Mr. Park announced 

you furrowed your brows as you sighed in compliance 

Mr. Park’s office was on the third floor at the end of the hall

you had 60 minutes of lunch; it took less than 2 minutes to get there 

you felt chills sent down your spine as you heard your teacher lock the door behind him

his room was dim from the curtains that shield the place from the light outside; it was fairly organized

“so, Ms. Y/N, what will you do for me?” he asked as he grazed his hands on his desk 

“I-I’m not sure what you mean, Mr. Park..” you lied

your teacher waves his phone in your face, “you know exactly what I mean..”

you tried to take it from him but he raises his phone over his head, way to high for you to reach without getting on the table 

“we shouldn’t even be doing this.. you’re my teacher...” you couldn’t hold eye contact with your teacher 

true; it was extremely good-looking and you weren’t the only one who had secret fantasies with him 

but he was a well-respected teacher; one of the youngest teachers in the country; he was at most only a couple years older than you 

he leans forward so that he’s face to face with you, “so are you saying that you’d be okay with it if you weren’t my student?” 

...

you couldn’t help but keep silent 

“I guess I’ll just turn it in to the board then..” he shoves his phone in his pocket before walking to the door 

you grabbed onto his sleeve with teary eyes, you were scared, “please don’t..”

Mr. Park sighed before turning to you, “maybe I’m just being selfish.. I grew up too fast, excelled in academics without living through school for the experiences.. so when I saw those heartbreaking troublemakers take you away from me, I just got jealous....”

you couldn’t believe what you just heard, “take me away from you?”

your teacher kept his eyes on you as he cleared his throat, “I’ve always noticed you..I was the one to notice you first.. but you always saw me as a teacher and only a teacher..and you know..”

he closes in the distance between you and the wall behind you, “I’m not that much older than you.. and if any of this really bothered you, you would’ve made a scene against me..”

he tips your chin up to look at him, “can I show you how much I’ve wanted to be with you?”

you didn’t know what to say or do; you started to tremble with confusing fear

“I never want to make you uncomfortable, I just let my jealously cloud my-” you interrupted him by pulling his lips onto yours by his tie 

he was quick to return the action by pushing his tongue into your mouth 

neither of you frantically wrestled to take off any clothes that were in the way 

your teacher peppered a constellations of kisses from your lips down to your faint love marks from Wooyoung as he took the time to unbutton your uniform

“M-Mr. Park-”

“Seonghwa,” he said, returning his lips onto yours, “call me Seonghwa..”

“Seonghwa,” you mewled, “ we don’t have a lot of time-”

Seonghwa smirks at what you were trying to get at, “I bet I can finished what I started.. if not, I still have all the time in the world after school~”

he picks you up and places you, back flat, onto his desk

he pushes you skirt up, leans into your pulsing heat

at this point you were impatient for any attention for pleasure, you were sure that he was going to rip off your panties and dive his tongue right into your pussy 

but he catches you by surprise

you could see his bare his teeth to nip your panties

you could hear him take a big whiff of your essence as he pulls off your panties, by the teeth 

he lets the panties fall from his mouth and shoves it into your mouth 

“you’re gonna have to try to be quiet if you don’t wanna get caught,” he leans in next to your ear; not taking the time to warn you that he’s going to shove his fingers into you at a rapid pace

your sounds were kept to a muffle because of your makeshift gag

your hands held onto his wrist to at least slow him down, but he wouldn’t budge by your touch 

his fingers were scissoring into you as he uses his thumb to apply pressure to your clit 

the moment Seonghwa catches you throw your head back and clench around his fingers, he pulled away

you started to tear up from the dissatisfaction of not being able to cum 

Seonghwa licks your tears off of your face, “you’ll get there, I promise you..”

he looks up at the clock, “I got more than enough time to get you there..” he sucks on his fingers that were covered with your wetness, “okay?”

you nodded, but you were still impatient, so you pulled him into you by wrapping your legs around his waist 

Seonghwa unbuckles his belt and leans forward to tighten it around your wrist, “I know how much you love to act like you’re in control, but that’s not what I’m gonna let you do today. you’ve been quiet a tease, kitten.. or should I call you baby girl?”

you shivered at your pet names as Seonghwa pulled out his cock

if it weren’t for your gag, your drool would’ve been escaping the corner of your mouth 

it was a heavenly combination of San AND Wooyoung’s cock combined; long, thick and veiny 

you could feel your eyes roll back as he pushed his way into you 

“I should call you a slut for all those guys that you used for pleasure, huh?” he grunted as he gained speed, filling the room with repetitive, lewd sounds   

Seonghwa didn’t give you time adjust as he began rut in and outside of you 

he didn’t even falter when you began to clench around him

it caused to you cum before he did; your body shook as waves of orgasm hit you and rippled through every nerve of your body 

but Seonghwa didn’t stop, causing you to wring by overstimulation 

he saw that, he truly didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, so he leans into the crevice of your neck as he continued to jackhammer into you

“ju-just hang in there.. I’m almost-” as if he couldn’t go fast and harder, hitting your g-spot every. single. time, he went past that point you thought was his limit 

you clenched around him once again; felt him bring you over to another round of cumming 

Seonghwa pulls your panties from your mouth and latching his lips onto you, “you’re so perfect, princess.. you’re everything a man ever needs-”

you tear up from cumming quickly for the second time

Seonghwa was so distracted by pumping his overflowing cum into you to realized that until he opened his eyes 

he slows down his heavy breath as he rides out his orgasm; smirking as he sees the damage he’s done on you, “you want to tell me, princess, could San or Wooyoung satisfy you like I do?”

you bit your lower, swollen lip as you shook your head, no

“so,” he pulls you up so that you’re sitting upright; he’s still inside of you, “what do you want?” 

you drew small circles on his chest, not being able to look up at him, “I don’t know..”

Seonghwa scoffs

“how about this,” he pulls out of you and walks to the drawers of his desk, pulls out a pair of panties, “you wear this, since your other ones are completely soaked, and tell me what you want after school, in the classroom?”

you compliantly put it on; you felt like there was something different about the panties but you didn’t think about it 

Seonghwa helps tidy you up; making you look like the perfect student everyone thought you were 

“I’ll see you in class, Ms. Y/N..”

and you were right

the moment Seonghwa returned back to the classroom after lunch, you felt volts of vibrations coming from your panties

you had to lean on one side of your chair to keep it from vibrating against the chair 

Seonghwa had his left hand in his pocket for the whole duration of class; fluctuating the levels between low and high, keeping deprived of a release 

you would look up at him with desperate, teary eyes but he wouldn’t even take a glance at you 

you looked up at the clock and cursed under your breath, “you’ve got to be kidding me..”

somehow you managed to pull through to the end of the day without getting any sort of release      

“see you later, Y/N! hope you feel better!” your classmates waved good-bye as they knew they had to leave you to do classroom duties 

that was when the vibrations stopped; you were finally able to catch your breath 

“kitten~ did Seonghwa-hyung play with you too roughly?”

your eyes widened, you knew that voice 

you looked up to see Wooyoung sit in the seat right in front of you, “I knew I chose the right toy to use on her, Seonghwa-hyung..”

you shook from fear as you looked up at Seonghwa, “wh-what’s going on?”

Seonghwa tosses the remote to San, who turned it up the a relatively high level, “Seonghwa-hyung caught us fucking you on his table over there and got jealous~”

“and so we told him that, we’ll share you..” Wooyoung wipes the drool coming from your lips

“even though I saw you first,” Seonghwa announced as he wrapped his arm around you 

“okay but we fucked her first!” Wooyoung snapped back

“w-wait ho-how did you all-”

San turns up the level up to the highest setting, as he smirks at Wooyoung and Seonghwa

“you wouldn’t know this but.. we’re all brothers,” Wooyoung’s lips traces over yours

“we’re okay with sharing you, but are you alright with being with all three of us, kitten?” San holds you hand and starts to kiss each and every finger

Wooyoung pulls away to glare at San, “she likes baby girl!”

Seonghwa furrows his brows at the younger kids, “she’s a princess and that’s that!”

you were irritated that all of their attention wasn’t on pleasuring you 

you pouted as you spoke up, “you guys talk too much...”

they took that as a cue that you were willing to be shared as long as you were satisfied

End.

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez san #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #ateez series #ateez smut reactions #ateez hard hours #ateez suggestive #ateez dark hours #ateez wooyoung #ateez seonghwa #san smut #wooyoung smut #seonghwa smut

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

#huntingtonintro #death tw #grief tw #overdose tw #drugs tw #addiction tw #hospitalization tw #hypersexuality tw #murder tw #religion mentions #mental health tw

[viktcrr-archive]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL / NONBINARY. — viktor samuels is really making a name for themselves as a tier 3 shepherd. i think that he/they are studying english + visual arts in their senior year at lockwood, living in peregrinis. originally from rochester, new york, viktor is known to be observant & ingenious, but can also be reticent & dependent. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

3/5 !!! once again ... little edits

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

stayed out of school until very recently b/c he just … didn’t want to go back. didn’t want to deal with it. didn’t want to be known as the dead girl’s twin. but then his mom kinda just was like ‘u go back 2 school or god so help me’ n he was like FINE.

so ya !! viktor’s back after being gone since tatiana’s body was found. that’s it, that’s him, a lil glimpse of his life.

trying to finish his senior year b/c he … obviously left before he could.

finding out that it was george who killed tatiana has ultimately ... caused viktor to spiral. his lows are some of his lowest, his highs are ... very high, but very bad. unstable & unpredictable in his actions it’s ... a whole thing :/

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / his twin sister, other half - the only one able to control viktor.

george craig iii / close family friends ... they could appreciate each other, when viktor wasn’t being an outright asshole.

hana williams / ‘friends’ with benefits, their relationship was rocky at best but she was a good lay. have often fought due to their clash in personalities and viktor’s history with christoph.

christoph wainwright / an ex-hook up, an infrequent occasion whenever christoph wanted to tick off hana. viktor was often on board, never the one to consider others’ feelings.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

#wshintro #grief tw #death tw #overdose tw #addiction tw #hospitalization tw #hypersexuality tw #religion mention #mental illness tw

[unclejuho]

sf9 in london event + concert experience ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

this is my 5k essay on what happened 190512 // enjoy reading!!!

so i got to the venue at 11pm the night before bc i was so stressed by the other concerts (ppl at la started lining up at 6pm??) i really wanted to be near the front since im coming all way from the netherlands anyways i better go big or go home!!!! so like i waited there for an hour amongst other fans who were still waiting from a diff concert and when they left other fantasy arrived so we started queueing up. i rlly have to thank sf9 uk casue they were so nice to me and they kept letting me use their hotel next door to let me go to the bathroom and change ♥️

i ended up getting nr1 (or nr21 ig isbdhs) so!!!! we did it LMAO succesfully got a good spot even though my feet and butt were dead by the time anything even happened,, its so hard to wait for 16+ hours to go to a concert but its sf9 so who cares about health 🤡 we didnt get knifed and a lot of ppl came up to ask who the fuck we were waiting for hdbshsh it was so funny

so i started handing out my juho stuff ofc and ppl seemed to like it!!! so im glad haha eventually even i didnt have any anymore so i was happy ppl liked it!

skip to like 1pm which is when the members arrived at the venue, i was a lil late noticing cus i was waiting for those signed narcissus albums but i ran to the front anyways n saw youngbin chani tae leave the van (like what they posted in the travel preview) so that was!!!!! jdbdbsb they were so unbothered it was so cute so i went to get my albums and came back to line (i got all hwiyoung pcs oshshah) 

also there were so many other fans handing out fanmades it was so sweet the entire atmosphere was fantastic bc everyone was nice to eachother, rlly everyone i talked to was super sweet!!! also so many fansites with slogans or fans so i went broke once more but it was all worth it theyre so pretty...

at like 4.30 was the special event which lmao i rlly was so tired and i got sooo nervous i had my already signed fanfare from mwave bc if ure gonna sign any album it should be fanfare (looking at ALL the ppl that gave them narcissus) sooo us 20 were led upstairs to some sort of bar area and they had a long table w water bottles so we had to wait a lil while the staff checked our signed items if they were ok and then we had to form a line to wait (they were late) i met another dutchie so that was nice hdhshsh

finally the members walk out and im shaking bc baek ju is the first to enter the room!!! he was wearing that leopard sweater and i didnt even hate his mullet seeing it upclose...

jae was wearing that stupid unbottoned shirt skbssbsb and he came in giving ALL the fanservice like him and inseong were here for the entire thing osbdbsb the other members just sat down and sociaized with eachother like yb kept being adorable and pulling faces at the table it was everything and i couldnt see rowoon bc ppl were standing in front of him but i was!!!! shaking already bc whos idea was it to start off this event with fucking rowoon lmao is like immediate heart attack! ju was last which was oof...

so i had like ideas of what i wanted to talk abt w each members but lmao??? i didnt talk abt any of it to any member my mind was so shook...

first up was rowoon and he just hdhshsh???? the eye contact of this man and just seeing him upclose was so intense tf he rlly was.. so gorgeous n bc of his hair up his eyes looked even bigger n shimmered and the pics rlly dont do him justice... so the first thing i said was wow so handsome bc why not.. i was gagged indeed hdbdbsb he said like woooow our debut album and you already have it signed oabdbs i didnt explain the entire mwave thing bc wud he understand haha but he opened n he saw the pic of himself hes like what do u like better me now or me here??? me being myself im like fanfare bc ur hair down is so cute oahdhshs i rlly not a narcissus hag anyways but fanfare was best rowoon as always... so rowoon did his sign and i asked him to do sky castle impersonation he didnt understand so i just repeated sky castle he was like ah the voice thing im like yes cha minhyuk isbdbsh so he did the fucking thing and i was dying lmao great to have seen it in the flesh ofc...

after rowoon was taeyang and taeyang!!!! was so hyper and attentive like hdnsb whenever u see him in vids hes usually very casual but he was soooo sweet and he too was like ahhh fanfare he took a while to say but he said his heart was still in there hdhdhsh so i was 🤧🤧 i just asked tae if he was doing okay or if he wasnt feeling tired and he said he was doing great bc i was there im like dying hdhshsh so i said yah me too!!!! 

jae was after taeyang n jae was jdhshshs soooo into it i know korean fans say ppl change biases to jae after meeting him and i have to say i can see why!!! i didnt rlly know what to say to jae beforehand but he said oooo i really love london and im like haha i dont like it here im like im from the netherlands so he was shocked he said thank you for coming to travel here and he held my hand isbdbsbsb

next was inseong and... the eye contact level was sooo severe he rlly threw all into it hes like hi thank you for coming so much so i was wearing this shirt w a 🥩 on it and im like inseong do u like my shirt bc i know u love meat iahdhahsh so he was laughing n said yea wow this is my favorite shirt oshdhshs rlly had me going LOL he asked if it was my first time seeing them im like yea but im going to korea in the summer tho oshdhshs he said that was great n asked how long i was staying for,,, so im like im going a month so he asked why i was going so long im like im going for u!!! hdbshsb he gave me some hearts and i moved on ndhsbsab

so chani was next up and he looked so shy,,,, im sad bc i forgot to say everything i wanted to say to him at the beginning and i was just like chaniiiiiii and he laughed and signed my album before i went i quickly pushed in a URE MY FAVE DANCER n he highfived me hdhsbs

so youngbin was next and i... lmao... i was weak haha he just read my name hes like hiiiii gia im here being depressed saying HI YOUNGBIN I LOVE U SM thank u sm for everything u do for us and i shit u not my eyes like tearing up oshdbsbs yb asking me how im feeling im like YEA GREAT tears in my eyes oabdbs i rly couldnt speak otherwise id actually have them roll down my face so i just nodded and moved on iabsbs

hwiyoung im so sorry... i was still emo from yb and i even forgot to say happy birthday like pls hit me... hwi cheered for the fanfare album and im like yess hwi i love ur hair here i love the blonde;; hwi thanked me for coming 

next up was dawon and jdbsbs i came in saying hi fantasy president so he said yeeee fantasyyyyy and hes an unbothered legend oabbdhssbn he signed quickly and within a minute i was away again jdhdhs

so juho.. my god oshdhshwh hes so:((( pretty let me breathe liek... i came there im like juho i love u oahdhshsh hes just nodding his way going to sign my album and he drawing that heart stickman so im like i have a question can u draw— hes like this is my signature drawing LUCKILY i drew the jucasso next to my name so im like pointing at it being like lmao boy we dont want this heart flop bdhdhsh so he quickly drew it and i said i hope u feel better soon and i was off again,,, rlly dawon and juhos signing went so quick...

so we moved on to the pictures and they were grabbing the chairs and ju was standing all way back at first but then no members went to sit on the chairs oahdhs so JUHO THE MAN WENT FOR THE SEAT NEXT TO THE MIDDLE HDHSHSH and hwi on the other side and jae behind so im blessed like juho... he rlly did it... hdhshsh i quickly go to grab one of my banners bc im like bitch i gotta fucking rep for it now otherwise i wudnt know a pose anyways oahdhshs so i quickly took off my glasses as well

so its my turn im going up and sitting down and like handing this banner to ju and hes like ???? oh???? he quickly reads it n was impressed hdbsb so there was one pic and tae was sitting next to ju and wanted to read what was on the banner so he turned to us but then we had to take another pic so he had to turn back quickly again oahdhshsh and then i had to go again but as i walked away ju was explaining to the members what was on my banner so i :(((( 

after everyones picture was taken they said goodbye and waved and inseong stayed behind a lil to joke abt drinking beer (i rlly hate him but also me?) and then they left and we got our merch bags n went back downstairs

so i quickly ran over to my bestie to tell her abt it before realizing we had to line up to go inside for the concert so i was like stressed running away i rlly almost lost my first spot LOL but we were let inside the venue i had like 50 bags but i ran to the front and BLESS IT there was like tiny space left at the left side which is were i wanted to be bc juwoon!!!!!! so i rly did get barrier thank god i could put down all my bags as well and the fantasy next to me were great as well!!!!

// i’ll add the concert later as im tired rn and this is already 5k osjbhdbhjas

#sf9 concert #thsi is sooo long wtf #hate this oashjbdbajsd

[ursoself-satisfying]

do you think eugene is maybe scared of long boat trips? i was thinking about it the other day, maybe he plans on going on holiday with his s/o and the only way to go abroad would be on a boat right? but maybe he would get a little (a lot? im not an expert on this) ptsd while being on the boat and his s/o supporting him but not fully understanding because lets be honest, no-one apart from the soldiers fully understand this sort of stuff, and maybe there's another veteran on-board who helps him?

Before we get into it I wanna say I totally agree n that unless u actually have experienced that ur rly not gonna understand what the person is going thru n this applies to all kinds of trauma but just bc u dont understand doesnt mean u cant do ur best to or that u cant still love support n help them handle it n it doesnt mean they're not gr8tful for ur involvement even if u dont understand,, writing for post war eugene is always tricky cus I dont wanna assume ik how any of this goes or the extent of what it entails i havent done this I've barely done any research its heartbreaking tho n unfair n I just wanted to say all that before u get into this cus it's a combo of both asks but also more of a touchy subject than I feel like I've addressed here so that's just a heads up but enjoy!!

Omg eugene my bby

I def think hes still afraid of boats big time,, so when the two of u decide to go abroad for ur honeymoon it's a big decision for u two to make one w lots of beforehand discussions n considering all ur other options but in the end the push of ur families n the pull of the convenience of a boat eases u both into the decision, even tho nothing about it u kno is going to be easy,, Eugene is p nervous cus I mean the nightmares have lessened n u both have been learning how to handle his flashbacks n the like but u had never tried anything like this yet so on one hand it could be a good time to test the waters but on the other hand neither of u have any idea how itll actually go

Even just in the car on the way there he starts to get shakey n then on the dock it gets a bit worse but ur hands r on him somehow the whole time either locked in his or on his leg or arm or stuck in his pocket n that comforts him, ur touch anchors him n keeps him from drifting to worse thoughts it keeps him thinking about u instead,, its till hard tho just thinking about it being back on that boat forcing himself to remember hes going to France n it's not occupied n hes not alone n hes going to get to see the sights w his wonderful wife n thoroughly enjoy those bright French mornings n that it's going to be quiet, no more bombs or raids or alarms just u n him under thin sheets hot n sticky n just together n safe

But first,, the boat

On the boat? It was rough,, every bit of turbulence n every odd sway made him anxious n as much as u tried to entice him to enjoy more of the boats activities like a cabaret show or even just playing some chess out on the deck n tho u could get him out a few times n he did enjoy himself,, he spent most of his time in the cabin trying to ignore the fact he was on a boat at all,, the rest of his time not being coaxed out by u he spent napping in a deck chair w u often lounging beside him n watching over his sleep carefully, also making sure he didnt burn n lathering her exposed skin in sunblock as much as u could as he slept

U two kept busy in the cabin tho I mean it was ur honeymoon after all ;;;))) so he ravaged u as often as he could bc not only were u a comfort but also a distraction,, u did other things as well tho like laying n listening to ur favourite radio shows or playing guitar to him or sketching him or dancing together or once even doing a silly little fashion show where he def tripped after putting on ur heels

He did have a few attacks tho but u had prepared as best u could n even if some of ur cabin took a beating in an outburst u had always managed to talk him down n he spent a lot of time in ur arms

His breakdowns btw would come suddenly when something would trigger him like a sudden movement or a splash against ur window n then he would get angry n scared n become protective of u until his aggression bubbled over into hot tears drowned out by ur soft words of confirmation trying to tell him u were on a modest cruise liner n u were going to Europe n that the guns n the bombs n the tropical climate were all far away n u would pull him into a cold shower w u n he would often (fuck u hard first then) just cling to u n cry until he could calm down n fall asleep n if he stirred in his sleep u would repeat the process until he could sleep soundly

He was gr8tful to finally be off the boat n back on land tho n once in Paris the two of u could rly enjoy ur honeymoon beginning w breaking in ur hotel bed ;;;)))

But then the two of u got to see the Eiffel Tower n the Seine n the Louvre n Notre dame n it was all so amazing!!!! U spent half the time w ur head in ur sketchbook n he spent all his time taking photos of u w ur head in ur sketchbook lol

The photos were brilliant n sweet n excessive n there were def a few of u bare n freshly fucked (pardon my french) w the Parisian skyline out the window behind u, the morning like shining thru ur messy hair like a halo,, but there were also many of him from the perspective of u kneeling over him n many more of both of u playfully holding up the tower or picnicking in front of a cathedral w u plucking at ur guitar or him w a bottle of wine at his lips

It was all v picturesque n romantic n perfect n u thought he deserved nothing less n he thought the same for u ::""))

U spent about 4 weeks there together n he had throughly used his time to fuck u in every way possible n use every toy u brought with but then it was suddenly time to go home n u were concerned about eugene being back on the boat but he seemed less nervous when u got on n he admitted to feeling a lot better after the first trip n this time he actually went out w u n u played board games w other passengers n danced in the halls n sang w the cabaret n he still sunbathed n napped n made love to u n wrecked ur cabin n u still listened to all ur radio shows n drew n sang but ur lives felt more full somehow after this experience

Oh n u def showed off everything u had bought is Paris n as much as he loved that silk dress on u he loved peeling it off u even more ;;;)))

He rly did feel better when u were finally home to ur little cottage for the first time together as a globetrotting married couple ::"")) he felt better that he hadnt handled it nearly as bad as hed expected n urs n his trip abroad left u feeling loved n cultured n more experienced in life plus u both had taken a huge chance n now u were better for it n felt more capable n confident that he was getting better n it was an affirmation that u would take care of him n that u would always be there for him, just as u had said in ur vows ::""))

He was happy to consummate ur new marriage in ur own bed for the first time tho lol n on top of that gr8 feeling it was just gr8 that he felt less held back w u there w him especially after the boat experience

So yeah a quick note I rly do think he would be terrified of ever stepping foot on a boat again n would refuse it n be vvv adamant about not doing it again for a vvv long time but I think he could be worn down n would EVENTUALLY be ok w it but maybe not this fast n tho I dont feel like I go into much detail here he def has a hard time on the boat as well like hes just agitated the whole time n probably was prescribed some medication for it if just some motion or sea sickness meds n maybe anxiety but i would say it prolly makes him drowsy so hes kinda out of it which keeps him calm but doesnt stop certain flashbacks n maybe he lashes out n hurts someone once in a while cus it's incredibly traumatic returning to that environment but anyway yeah he would be v fidgety n not like it but in this scenario hes willing to take a chance given how well hes been recovering n how much he trusts u n how much u have helped him n the option had pull so that's why but rly I dont think irl he would have gone back on a boat anywhere near that soon but this is romantic fiction so ::))

Also I have a v specific image of who eugene is w if u cant tell lol so I'm sorry for that specificity but I'm so whipped for him n his gal I lov sm I hope u enjoy n guys I'm so motivated to finally write out the storyline I have for him I'm gonna finally get out his fic ok I promise

#she has a voice!!! #joe mazzello #not queen #nut #the pacific #eugene sledge x reader #eugene sledge #anon asks #answered asks #send asks #send me asks #asks #anons #anon me too wow #anon #send me anons #anonymous

[musashi]

why'd you stop talking to velv//etvi//olence

ooooh this is the kinda spicy invasive drunk ask i love lmao

the timeline is like....... god i need to really fucking remember, ok so

so i saw her in the pokeani tag and was like oh she seems chill, invited her to my rocket server, everything seemed mostly alright but she had this tendency to like, dominate conversation that i think i was sympathetic to because i also do that without trying. she cut me a lot of times (usually by interrupting me mid-sentence or just like. changing the topic when i was infodumping) which kinda sucked but i didn’t rly think much of it at the time

i think at one point i did get kinda upset w her a few times but i mostly kept it to myself, we talked it out once and she was pretty chill and i was like cool. that’s the only time i can ever really remember it like, even coming close to conflict.

but then she just kinda disappeared from my life. she left my server, stopped following me, stopped interacting with me. i have abandonment issues like woah but i tried to like. get over myself i guess? cause i rly liked being friends with her. but seeing her on my dash all the time (i was still following her cause... friend? idk) was starting to weigh on me. at some point she started interacting hardcore with another rocketblogger who was just really mean to me out of the blue 

(tothestarsabove/fairy-feather, who basically hardblocked me and when i asked why said it was because i was an elitist dsfgsdf.... when i asked them what they meant they basically cited how i don’t like genwunners. which, like, whatever i guess, if hating genwunners & gatekeepers makes me an elitist then cool, ill get that word tattooed, fuck you & ur celebrating of negativity)

and so i unfollowed her because shit just got too painful. around that time she went on a vagueblogging spree where she basically implied that i “drove her out of the pokeani fandom” and i vagueblogged right back because like... wtf dude. in the time since i’d stopped talking to her, i found out she made a NUMBER of my friends wildly uncomfortable--a lot of them felt talked over and made smaller whenever she’d get online, and several of them cited instances to me where she’d literally just backhandedly insult them and pretend it was friendly or constructive criticism. we started combing through reviews she’d left on our fics, and found that a lot of these reviews were just, like... her talking about herself, and her opinions, and then leaving some subtle sneering comment and saying NOTHING good about the artwork. the only person she didn’t do this to was me, the most outspoken and confident of all of us. it was... weirdly predatory. one of my friends in particular confided to me that whenever she would get online, they would leave the chat, cause her mere presence made them feel like utter shit.

a little while after i made my vagueblog abt rachel she was creeping on my blog like she does and she saw some art i drew of me & a friend (one of the aforementioned friends who was in the chat w/ us) and she literally SENT THAT FRIEND A MESSAGE UNSOLITICED, OUT OF NOWHERE, that just said ‘are you and madi dating?’

this made me livid, for a number of reasons, like

1. she insists on using the name madi. people in bad graces with me LOVE doing this. they KNOW that name is reserved for my close friends, they KNOW i do NOT allow people to use it unless they have earned it. they always go out of their way to disrespect me by using it. ALWAYS. it is such a subtle way to insult me.

2. the picture i drew with this friend was completely platonic. it was me and my closest canonmate, dressed in our kintype’s outfits. in the description, i talked about how happy i was to know this friend, to have met them again. it was like, romantic in a poetic sense, but it was nothing i would not say to any other close friend, regardless of gender. the words were just, like, sweet and purple? like most of my words are?

when u consider these facts, the statement ‘are you and madi dating?’ is incredibly fucking gross. what grounds does she have to fucking ask something like that 1. to someone she hasn;t SPOKEN to in months and 2. to someone minding their own business just trying to move on from the terrible fucking experience of knowing her? like, i’m gonna be fucking blunt: it was lesbophobic. it was MAJORLY lesbophobic. one of the most COMMON stereotypes about lesbians is that we prey on women. she saw a lesbian write a sweet message for a close female friend, and she could not POSSIBLY comprehend the idea of a lesbian NOT jumping said friends’ bones. her immediate assumption was that we HAD to be dating.

not to mention, she more or less circumvented the fact that i blocked her by sending this message to a former friend of hers who DIDN’T. and when said friend sent me a screenshot of this message, like “holy shit, can you believe she SAID this?” rightfully appalled, she tried to guilt trip this friend ( “how could you? why would you screencap that? i trusted you!” )

the more i’ve distanced myself from her the more i realize i agree with my friends. she was incredibly mean to me and she made me feel small and afraid to speak up. her defense for this is that i ‘constantly vagueblogged’ about her which is absolute bullshit. she even told me herself that she had anxiety and ‘automatically assumed every single subtweet’ was about her. to this day, she sticks to this story. that i vagueblogged about my friend, even though i’ve never ever since my YOUTH vented about a friend in a public place where they might see it, where it might hurt them. she didn’t even upset me enough when we were friends to warrant that, all the vagueblogging came long after she left my life.

anyways when i called her on this she had the audacity to say she wasn’t a raging lesbophobe. as if she has a right to speak over a lesbian on what is and isn’t dykephobia. she’s not a lesbian. she lost the argument before she opened her mouth.

anyways her fic fucking sucks and she writes the most ooc jessie i have ever SEEN and is probably fandomhopping as we speak but yeah girl is made of red flags and reeks of potential abuser and every time i think about her i really fucking feel like i dodged a bullet. stop reblogging her shit and supporting her. it was a mistake for me to be her friend and a mistake for me to keep her around for so long. i possess immeasurable guilt for exposing half of my closest, kindest friends to her knowing the damage she has done to some of them. i can never fuckin get that time back.

#n0 rebl0gs #wendy rants #Anonymous #wendy answers

[macdvnald]

[ CHRISTIAN SERRATOS ] • [ SHE/HER ] | is that [ MARY MACDONALD ] , the [ NINETEEN ] year/s old [ GRYFFINDOR ] alumnus , walking down diagon alley ? I heard that the last time they had their fortune read, they drew the [ HIEROPHANT REVERSED ] , which seems [ UNLUCKY ] . hopefully they won’t come to any harm, considering their recent choice to ally themselves with [ THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX ] . they’ll probably be fine - I know they’re [ PERSISTENT ] , though apparently they can also be [ RUTHLESS ] . what’s the worst that could happen ? | 

LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist PARALLELS: johanna mason ( the hunger games ), jessica jones ( jessica jones ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), ellie ( the last of us ), rosa diaz ( brooklyn 99 ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), kat edison ( the bold type ), sarah manning ( orphan black ) HELLO and welcome to the mess that is this intro!! on the bottom are some plot ideas & besides that its a big old mess! but we love disorganisation! hit this up with a like if u want me to hit u up for plots and i sure as hell will <333

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in? this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her chin up.

the entire mulciber situation is up for change, should we get a mulciber, or if it doesn’t correspondent with the plot/rp canon! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a year. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but i chose that trait for her app because she is --- in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things --- she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means. 

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win.

and she’s also like --- mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

mary also works part time at quality quidditch supplies because the girl loves quidditch ---- though not as much as she loves football.

a proud scot. probably lives in scotland, but i’m ... going to keep her living situaiton open and segue into Wanted Plots!

plot ideas

roomies ----- so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc ----- mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc! 

party pals ---- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together ---- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club ---- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas ---- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc ---- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

#ootp.intro

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, PIKA! You’ve been accepted for the role of PORTIA with a faceclaim change to JESSICA VU. Admin Rosey: Be still my heart, for it has been captured ruthlessly and quite brutally by your interpretation of my darling, my sweet Pandora. “ …there’s a hubris to pandora that intrigues me. everybody sees life through a window, and pandora is no exception. she prides herself on her pragmatism and her ability to cut through the whimsical bullshit that others fancy. and maybe that helps her see the world more clearly.” It was in the beginning of your application that I noticed you captured the cruz of her character and for that, I thank you. I can’t wait to see our machina on the dash!  Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

Out of Character

Alias | pika

Age | mythic. timeless. 18+ lol

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers or they/them/theirs, i’m not picky!

Activity Level | hoo man i try my best but i’m a full-time student with a bunch of stuff on my plate. I’m really good about tracking the dash on mobile, and i promise to be on to write every other day unless i let you know otherwise!!

Timezone | pst/gmt-8

Current/Past RP Accounts | jake. hugo. mallory.

In Character

Character | PORTIA, or pandora linh phan, with a fc change to jessica vu! (you might need to age her down a year bc jessica is only 19 but idk if it’s super feasible for someone that young to be a captain?? oof idk ur call adminnies!! or if it comes to it i’m ok with using jolie LOL i just prefer jessica.)

What drew you to this character? |

listen, i fucking love portia. the paradoxical free spirit who binds herself to the most minutiae of the rules? someone who simultaneously adheres to and flouts convention? a lawyer who uses her words for mercy? BADASS.

and then. AND THEN. you all reimagined her to be even more badass, which is certainly impressive. pandora isn’t a direction i would have imagined portia to be taken in. this is not a woman who would manipulate the law as an agent of mercy (though i imagine she certainly could, if she so chose to). no, this is a portia who has chosen to use her keen intellect in pursuit of the truth above all else, a product of the machinations imposed on her throughout her entire life. as an heiress, there have been strings cast upon her since birth. she has simply grabbed them to take control of whatever facets of her destiny she could.

but to return to the question, i think what really drew me in to pandora’s character was the lingering paradoxes you teased in her skeleton. for all she appears to be an unstoppable, calculating machine of a woman, a part of her still fears the inexplicable. though she might seem callous toward even her family, she wants to use her influence to help others—i imagine that in a world where she was not sent to the mob, she would have ended up a major humanitarian. i think it’s easy to be misled by pandora, to see only her calculating exterior and not dig into her underlying belief systems. she may be sharp enough to see and understand things about the world that the rest of us may not pick up on, but that ability has almost certainly strongly shaped her own views. the possibility of exploring the inner workings of someone so complex is something that makes me giddy on its own, and that’s before you even factor in the possibility of character development, because…

…there’s a hubris to pandora that intrigues me. everybody sees life through a window, and pandora is no exception. she prides herself on her pragmatism and her ability to cut through the whimsical bullshit that others fancy. and maybe that helps her see the world more clearly. but i think it gives her a very deliberate blind spot when it comes to her own weaknesses and the strength of mankind; she can predict what man’s folly will lead to, but i don’t think she’s had enough experience with positive relationships to understand the strength of human bonds. so there’s a lot to explore there, as well! and all of that’s before you start talking about her role within the mob and its interplay with her pre-existing heuristic reasoning omg. this is a girl that was forced into a war and turned it into a game. there are just a lot of layers to explore within pandora, is what i’m trying to say, and conflict between the various aspects of self that make up her identity.

ALSO HAVE I MENTIONED I LUV BADASS LADIEZ BC WOWOW I RLY DO UNF

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

foul is fair and fair is foul:

to build off of what i introduced in the previous section, i think that a major underlying theme within pandora’s character is the notion of control. she is so used to having it—over others, but most importantly over herself—and fears losing it so much that i would love to see it wrested from her. pandora considers herself above verona’s war, in a way; as a captain, she doesn’t touch blood, and as a phan, she knows (or assumes, at the very least) that she has a way out. she is inherently analytical and never impulsive. but this is a game where logic fails in the face of the whims of faux gods, of ambrosia and warfare and the hands of witches. pandora’s been lucky so far in how the world has kept to its unspoken rules, but silly girl. the very otherness that separates her from verona’s darkness may very well doom her to it. let her see she that the best-laid plans have nothing against the hand of god. let her see that she cannot play a game where the rules are a sham.

the quality of mercy is not strain’d…:

pandora is a young captain, especially for only having been a montague for three years. surely, there are mixed feelings about that within the montague ranks. i think her relationship with castora is notable because of how unexpected it was for her to pick up castora as a mentee and how pandora herself wanted someone to show her the ropes. she clearly has ambition and intelligence, but she isn’t necessarily agreeable, nor particularly concerned about crossing the line into insensitivity. what i’m trying to say is that in the mob it takes a certain willingness for action to rise as quickly as pandora has, particularly as someone who isn’t part of one of the traditional mob families. despite what some of the rumors say, it is certainly not because of her wealth or her engagement, what has she done to position herself so valuably in so little time? who has she made enemies of? allied with?

and more importantly, what consequences will these actions have now, particularly during the unrest?

…it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven:

because of how quickly pandora has made herself indispensable to the montagues, i feel like it’s easy to overstate her loyalty to her fiance’s family. but loyalty isn’t necessarily something logical, and pandora’s first loyalty is to her logic. i don’t think it’s impossible for a party to shift her loyalties, whether it be to the capulets, to the montagues, or to finding peace another way. she may have her mind set on serving the montagues but her eyes are not closed to the complex reality of the situation she’s in. perhaps a compelling argument could shift her view.

oh romeo, oh romeo:

pandora’s relationship with roman is something i’d like to explore bc i’m a slut for romantic-coded plots because love seems antithetical to everything pandora values. there’s no logic to love, no real value that seems to be had from it. furthermore, it requires a relinquishing of control, and that more than anything is enough for it to be completely unattractive to pandora. she certainly respects, and to a certain extent cares for roman, but it is duty that binds them.

so i say, let her fall. it’ll be against her better judgement, certainly, and maybe it’ll end well, or maybe it’ll end with disaster. maybe she’ll finally learn to trust roman, and maybe that will lead to something more. perhaps she’ll fall for someone else, a rival, maybe, and their story will end in tragedy. either way, there is something to be said about how love can derail the best-laid plans.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | lol sure i guess as long as there’s some kind of like plot sense to be made yknow

In Depth

In-Character Interview:

The girl they send to interview Pandora-—and make no mistake, it is unmistakably a girl—looks like she could be Pandora’s age. Her blouse is crisply ironed, but the collar is slightly crooked. Her pen is cheap, and so are her shoes. Her earnestness is palpable. She is pretty, but she wears her youth in her face. Perhaps a person in the habit of indulging whimsy could have pictured the two women as roommates, recent graduates worried about internships and graduate school applications. Pandora, however, is not one of those people.

Their passing similarities are increasingly eclipsed by their differences the longer the women sit, the still-nameless girl fumbling with her notes, Pandora perfectly still. It’s easy for Pandora to mask her annoyance with indifference, less so for her to silence the disdain on her tongue. But she does, sympathizes with the girl, even. She does not belong here, that much is clear. Perhaps this is how Athena felt when she was challenged by Arachne.  

Eventually, the girl finds her footing. “What is your favorite place in Verona?” she asks.

There’s a moment that, on anyone else, would have been considered hesitation. On Pandora, it reads like anticipation, like the world is taking a moment to prepare itself for the words she is to say. “Would it be surprising for me to say Verona’s library? It contains a rather incredible collection of historical Roman documents.” It’s not a lie, not really. The library fascinates her, but not for the stories it holds in its walls. Rather, it’s the stories that unfold in its shadowy corners that draw her interest. If the girl isn’t a total fool, she can figure out the rest.

And apparently she does, or she is at least willing to take the answer at its face, because she presses on. “What does your typical day look like?” she asks.

“If you’re looking for a jetsetting life of glamour, I’m afraid you must go elsewhere.” Pandora feigns a sigh, twirling a lock of hair around a finger. “I wake up early, drink tea—I’ve recently given up coffee, you know—and meditate. If I have business for the wedding, I’ll tend to that; if not, I’ll study.”

There’s a look in her conversation partner’s eyes that seems akin to doubt. Ha. Certainly a recent graduate, then. Pandora smiles benevolently, but her eyes are cutting. The girl has shown weakness. “You seem surprised,” she says lightly. “I know it’s been going around that I’m taking a year off of schooling for the wedding, but you don’t think I’d be content as a trophy wife, would you?” Her parents had, and look where that had gotten all of them. She doesn’t sneer, but it’s a close thing.

The girl can’t meet her eyes, so Pandora continues. “Anyhow. I’ll usually spend the afternoon attending to family business, either my own or the Montague’s.” And wasn’t that the truth. “I try to meet with my fiance in the evenings. And at night?” She tilts her head coquettishly, but on Pandora, the action reads almost predatory, the gaze of a panther deliberating a strike. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”  

“And what of Montague’s more…nefarious business dealings? Do you have any comment on those?”

Huh. Perhaps the girl has more backbone than Pandora credited her with. A single, impeccably groomed brow rises.

“I do not.”

The girl swallows, then continues. “Okay, um…well…What has been your biggest mistake thus far?”

Pandora laughs, and the sound is beautiful but out of place, uncannily youthful from a creature that seems to transcend conventional labels. It’s easy to forget that Pandora is young, barely out of girlhood herself, worlds apart as she is from her interviewer.

“Darling,” she says, “I don’t make mistakes.”

She knows what they say about her, how they call her bella macchina, how they quaver before her ruthless pragmatism. Was it so bad to lean into the reputation? There were worse things to be associated with. And looking at her, content in her realm, a spider in the orb of her nest, it is so, so easy to believe. It is easy to forget that it is not her dominion, that Verona is not her land and the Montague-Capulet fight is not her fight, in the strictest sense. But nobody is as acutely aware of the reality of her situation as Pandora is. She is but a tool.

And thus, her mistakes are not her mistakes. It’s logical, really.

She has shaken her interviewer. That much is certain. But Pandora must give the girl credit, because she pushes on. “What has been the most difficult task asked of you?”

Pandora could recite a litany, if she so wanted to: becoming a Montague, being the Phan her parents intended, swallowing her knives instead of spitting them, unlocking the gilded cage her birth placed her in.

“Taking a break from school.” She sighs, and this time there’s a sort of truth to her wistfulness. It isn’t that she dislikes taking a more prominent role within the Montague family—to the contrary, it has been one of the most exciting experiences she has been able to apply herself to. There’s something about the unpredictability of mob life that challenges Pandora in a way that few other things have been able to. Though she likes the satisfaction of conclusions predicted, of victory strategized four steps in advance, there’s something exhilarating in being kept on her toes. However, she has a raw love for learning—for bettering her understanding—that is unique from her love for the game. There’s a comfortable reliability to the rules in academia, a safe expectation of how things are to react. And recently,  she sometimes misses the reliability of writ law, despite the new opportunities Alvise’s death has unlocked.

Perhaps it would be more apt to say that coming to Verona has been akin to opening Pandora’s Box. What a joke.

The interviewer pushes Pandora out of her thoughts. She has been saying something that Pandora could probably recite later, but didn’t particularly care enough to consider. Eventually, she reaches another question. Her last, if Pandora remembered correctly. And Pandora always remembers correctly. “What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?”

Pandora averts her eyes; she is not so proud to pretend that she is a good enough actress to hide the hunger in her eyes. “I don’t understand it.”

It’s not a lie. War, as a general concept, is inherently paradoxical—and that fascinates Pandora. The way that man has tried to civilize it, put rules to it, when it is ultimately a series of acts that defy basic human ethics, the one set of laws all decent men ought to follow. The attempts to moralize it. The strategy involved, the balancing act between victory and order and understanding. Understanding the philosophical notions of war is one of the few universal perplexities that Pandora itches to scratch, a puzzle that she can’t immediately solve.

Of course, in the meantime, there’s always the art of war to busy herself with. That, on the other hand, comes naturally to Pandora, almost frighteningly so.

She finally meets the girl’s eyes. “You can understand my concern, of course, especially for my fiance.” She clutches her hand in a gesture that could be mistaken as one of disquiet. “Dearest Roman…as long as this rages on, there’s a target on his back,” she says entreatingly.

Of course, she neglects to mention that there is a matching mark on her own.

Extras

a playlist:

control - halsey // runnin’ (interlude) // kehlani // pride - kendrick lamar // oh no! - marina and the diamonds // biking - frank ocean // woman (oh mama) - joy williams // talking to myself - gallant // never catch me - flying lotus feat. kendrick lamar // bite - troye sivan // power - kanye west // keep ya head up (jhene aiko cover) - tupac

hcs & misc. bits

Pandora graduated summa cum laude from her undergraduate program, where she studied economics and public policy. Technically, she’s a law school student—as her day job, if you will—but since Alvise’s death, she’s taken a break to focus on her work as a captain (or, depending on who’s asking, to focus on her engagement).

Pandora is fascinated by the Witches. They fall under the category of things she cannot explain, and that simultaneously frightens and attracts her. She spends a fair amount of time at the Museum, as a result.

Pandora is notoriously dismissive of things she finds wasteful, but she’s actually very into fashion and art.

Pandora is pretty skilled with languages. She’s fluent in Italian, English, and Vietnamese. She’s passably conversational in German and Mandarin, and can speak enough Japanese to conduct business.

Pandora doesn’t touch drugs or alcohol if she can avoid it. She’ll partake in wine socially, but otherwise avoids mind-altering substances. After all, her mind is her greatest asset. What is she without it?

mbti: istj-t

enneagram: type 6

likes: documentaries, oolong tea, louboutins. being right. victory, as a general concept. puzzles, especially crosswords. granita.

dislikes: people who chew loudly. empty rooms. foolishness. coffee. being called dora.

aesthetic: the click of heels on a polished marble floor. the smell of lavender at night. the rush of air that leaves your lungs when you exhale. a piece of ice melting on your tongue. the pre-dawn hour, when the world is a breath from still and light barely dusts the sky. falling, falling, falling down a rabbit hole. the knowledge of victory. gold on steel. the refraction of light through a shattered glass.

#accepted: portia #accepted

[theday]

mx in sg: the experience

FHJGDGHSHGFGGHD as usual starting off with the keyboard smash anyway! ill be talking about my experience seeing mx live yesterday (3/3) second part is abt when mx were on stage but its quite dry bc i dont remember much

ill be going in chronological order so [jooheon voice] lets get it

i was gonna meet my friend (karissa) at 3:30 because we were going to meet the person selling us our tickets at 4pm but that got delayed until like 5pm which was fine though

anyway i met her and we started queueing because although official queuing was supposed to start at 6pm they pushed it forward to 3pm (which was unfortunate for those who were busy and couldnt come until much later - the organizer never released an official statement saying the queuing started earlier) 

so as soon as karissa and i arrived at like. the place (near the venue) we got lost for about a whole 5 minutes lmao so i texted james asking him where the hell . they were and we made it and joined the queue immediately (we were the last few people of the second batch) 

we just sat there and. collected freebies and our banners (for the fan events) while we waited for the seller to come give us our tickets 

when they came i was like . fucking screaming because one of the seller was someone i knew from primary school (4 years ago) and i was likeudghdgghdhsh??????? that was the highlight of the daydhfhs

after we bought the tickets and shit we were slightly concerned they wouldnt work lmao but they did god bless

while we waited for the doors to open and stuff a group of people did dance covers of mx songs and later other groups too everyone was cheering for them which was nice fgfghdgh

the hype died down and we just waited quietly until it hit 6pm and i started listening to the day6 stream LMAO but after 4 songs i had to stop because suddenly everyone was standing up?? 

for nothing though because we sat down like 30 minutes later at around 7? 7:30? everyone stood up again and this time people were given wrist tag things u kno.. ya there were three (?) kinds i think gold for those who held a superfan ticket, pink for general admission and some other colour for those who got tickets for free and could sit on chairs dhdghs 

it was a free standing event in an outdoor space so superfan ticket holders got to stand closer to the stage? and those with general admission had to stand behind us and it was separated by a barricade 

we entered at like 8pm because we were the second batch (there was a third batch behind us) and it was already filled?? not exactly but from where we were standing we couldn’t really see the stage 

in the end we were in the middle which wasnt exactly the best but its definitely better than those standing all the way at the back rip 

i think at like 7:45 they started playing the music videos and everyone was shouting the lyrics it was cute i loved it but my throat told me to die after i yelled for like all of their mvsjhdgdghd 

also when all in played u bet my ass i jumped up and downdhg

also water wasnt allowed inside which i think is normal so i chugged mine down as fast as i could before entering (i had a little left and the lady let me in with it thanks queen) (i drank it all before they even came on stage)

the hype was real though and it was great 

when it hit 8:30pm the introduction video started and suddenly i was getting pushed forward and wow . dont go if ur not a fan of people invading your personal bubble. i wish fans had more sense to Not push around and stuff but what can we do rip 

other than that when they came out oh gOD when they came out i was likebfhgddgs??!?!??!?! i had to stand on my tip toes to see them

they started with beautiful and i was liek. dissociating i jsut sang along and shit it was amazing?????? 

the first person i saw was kihyun and then minhyuk?? i dont remember who else i saw but iw ss losing my fucking mind over how good everyone looked

anyway after that was um.............. fuck. .... i dont know..........

IFMFHGHSGF IM CRYING MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DIE

white love maybe? i think they did like an introduction of themselves ??

anyway ill figure the songs out later they started playing games i think or was that another time im bad at this clearly 

ask james for the details of the songs i dont remember shit from that i just remember singing along to the songs badly and moving my arm back and forthhfgsgh 

also team work makes the dream work because karissa was recording and i helped her to zoom in and ensure they looked human with the brightness and stuff fhjdgsgh 

but !! everyone did the fanchants really well it was so heartworming 

also during white love they made us do that one part u know the one and it was awesome!!!!! during white sugar they threw m&m’s and i got to get a good look at their faces without having to look at the screen!! 

honestly was good too god im so happie 

hm. they did a mon-story time and showed us pics from previous eras (trespass > i dnt remmeber fuck > beautiful world tour > mxray > first win) ?? might be wrong dghdgs and they talked about stuff that happened i blanked out though so i dont know what they said 

also when they flashed the first win part they started throwing hands @ each other usual mx shit dhjgsgd

we chanted monsta x and they chanted monbebe back at us :-( i love them

i think changkyun said he doesnt wnat to do another season of mxray LMAODHFGHHGS fucking loser 

the translator made me laugh he was super monotone fhgdghfsh

then they played mon-ccaso dghghfsh and drew what they wanted to eat with singaporean mbb!!

there was a bug in front of wonho and he got !!!! fhdgh cute .

shownu: ????? what was it ?? a drink it looked like a cocktail and kihyun was like “non alcoholic” dghffsgs

wonho: ice cream!!! hes so cute his drawing was so cute also he wrote monbebe before they announced the game his handwriting is so pretty tf

minhyuk: ramyeon lmao (in his words: traditional korean noodles) 

kihyun: uh oH HE DREW A CRABFGHGSHS and said chili and pepper crab!!!

hyungwon: he drew a shrimpfhggdgs fucking . it was so cute

jooheon: mandu!! or dumplings :D

changkyun: water. JHDHGDGSG KING HONESTLY IW AS LIKE JUMPING UP AND DOWN IN EXCITEMENT!! love me a water stan 

anyway they talked about what they drew and when it came to minhyuk’s turn he was like guess and everyone just shit on him DHJDHSHG 

some examples: “hair” Gghdhg and some fans (including me) screamed cucumberhjfghgs let this man live 

minhyuk also tried to make fun of jooheons drawing but it failed bc none of us understood his joke

so they made us vote by screaming and they each stood up while holding their sketchbooks and we’d scream

winner was changkyun (i yelled my heart out and jumped bitch)

FHGSGG W INNER HAD TO DO AEGYO THOUGHDG played urself

they did oppaya and i think there are fancams somewhere

then they made wonho do it hhdggs best 1 minute of my life

after that was uhh??????? brain machine broke i dont know im not even going in order anymore

they either did from zero first or the fan videos were shown first

if so the fan videos were of fans talking about how much they love/appreciate mx and it was sweet after that we raised our banners for the fan vid

and then the CAKE came for wonho and we sang happy birthday to wonho (kihyun asked us to sing once too at the start hjdghgsg we did that in english this time it was in korean) 

also funny hfgdhgs thing... they talked in korean and a lot of people replied in korean so they got shockedhfgh FUCJ DAY6 ok safe im listening now

i think they (minhyuk?) asked who thought/if he was handsome and got rly happie when we said yea

after him someone asked too LOLJHDGSG

back 2 whatever fdsh um oh yeah the cake was done to look like ramyeon in a pot :D ill add a link

wonho cut himself with the knife D-: babie 

he kept wanting to eat it though so hopefully he liked it 

maybe after that they did from zero???? ufhffghsgghdg idk

after that was hero!!!!!!! god we were all so pumped 

shine forever next 

and then they stopped to take a break i thinkfhgshgd 

at some point they asked fans (a jooheon stan and a wonho one) what songs they liked :-D the jooheon one said beautiful and the other said ill be there if im not wrong

they also made the rappers sing bits from some songs hfgsg i dont remember which songs tho hdhs

changkyun tried his besthjdg

they did their ending ment and went to dramarama!! 

after that it was silent for like 5 minutes max as we chanted mx and for encore

they came out and did ill be there (?) (first verse to chorus) and talked again before doing 5:14! 

they were dressed in casual tshirts which was a relief hjghgdh because it was reallly fuckng hot hdh changkyun mentioned the weather too sorry dude thats life

they waved at fans and played amongst themselves kihyun dumped water on jooheon LMAO i got a clear view of that

stay hydrated !

they just kept dumping water on each other i love a family :-D

and then they said bye and left

jooheon kept going byEE though dhgdhs hes so cute :-( 

ok heres what i thought abt the monstas themselves

kihyun looked especially good with that tie by the way 

jesus i got to see wonho with dark hair i truly. died

ALSO SHOWNU LOOKS SO HANDSOME IRL!!!! MY WIG WAS SNATCHED!!!!!!!!!!!

hyungwon was rly cute too when he interacted with the fans :-(

there was one time wonho smiled and it was caught on the screen i . felt my heart burst in that moment

alsowwhen minhyuk took center position for their choreos he has this ?? charisma ??? its amazong like the one smirk/grin he does u know that? yeah i saw it in beautoful and died

joohoen and changkyun also did their best hyping mbbs up by yelling to sing along and stuff ihdjgf i love them

this is just mx loving hours 

also kihyun did the DHDHHSH EYE SMILE!!! HE DID IT SO MANY TIMES HE WAS SO HAPPIE I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didnt get to see jooheon much but he was so playful with minhyuk it was so cute!!!!!!! 

they all look so good and sound even better live!!! kihyuns adlibs god help me. 

i love them so much. i really do fhhdghghs im happy i went no more regrets and no more telling myself i didnt have a blast because i!!!! i loved every second of it even when i got someones hair stuck to my arm LMAO 

after it ended we immediately left for the exit andggdghs WOW standing up i was fine but moving?? moving was HELL my legs hurt so bad

ok so we got home and thats that but like.... heres where my self reflection comes in

so you dont have to read this part

i think. the reason i dont remember much is because.. i dont want to? like. at some point i got a clear view of wonho in the Flesh and i was thinkng about how i was really seeing them? for real????? and i got. really sad i think?? 

so to prevent myself from getting sad i probably tried to forget? everything?? theres also my bad memory of course but i cant even remember their faces i feel like its because im trying to forget or some deep shit 

anyway i think im also makig myself not be happy??? this is phrased v bad but its like im trying to kill the fun and only think abt the negatives of the whole event

which wasnt even much so its like. my minds blankfhjfhd

talking about it here helps though like i get to. share and actually talk about what happened so yeah i can say that i had fun even though i couldnt see them i had a blast singing along it was awesome

the only bad part was how i didnt like watching from the screens because it felt like i wasnt seeing them live?? ooMGHDDS DAY6 ARE DOING BETTTER BTTER

tldr; im not that upset over it now thank god and i can proudly say i had fun and although i cant remember much it was a great experience

thank you for coming to my tedtalk if you did <3

#180303 #moon texts #NOW #i can reblog pics #sorry i dont have any vidoes/pics i mean i do but theyre potato quality ill see if i can post some when karissa sends them

[starkissr]

would u look at that I just had my first break down in a rly long time

today I honestly thought that things have never been worse for me. but u fucking know what? fuck my anxieties. fuck my fears. fuck every doubt and insecurity that's been replaying in my mind. I literally don't fucking deserve to put myself thru this emotional turmoil anymore than I already have. Friday started stressful. yesterday I relapsed back into my bad bad habit. I didn't even mean to but I couldn't stop it. I knew I was doing it and I couldn't care less and altho I just realized it but the level of dgaf I was abt it and how it got so bad literally so quick scared the fuck out of me. now I see it meant I didn't care abt myself anymore. I did see it was wrong but I rly didn't trust myself to take care of myself so my plan was to tell my most trusted friend n roommate here abt my problem so she could also look out for me and help me a little n yesterday I thought abt it but brushed it off. today I texted her and told her I needed to tell her something when were alone. I was so proud of myself for telling her that bc I was like ok now I can't back out of it and I rly rly have to speak up abt this. I guess I should've emphasized that it was v important to me but anyway she left before we got a chance to talk and that was yet ANOTHER thing that went wrong. I swear I've heard like just numerically more bad news today than I have in my life I think. everytime something else came up n I thought shit can't get fucking worse another thing would pop up n fucking emotionally destroy me all over again. but this one was so shitty bc this girl is MY GIRL n the only one I feel comfortable enough talking abt this and I even told her how I desperately needed a solid cry 2 n she wasn't fucking here for me when I needed her. I'm not mad at her like she's been thru v srs shit as of late too n ik she was stressed and why we weren't able to talk but it still fucking hurt bc all day when the hot tears would flood my eyes I kept trying to tell them and all my shit thoughts to sh go away. I would tell them at the end of the day u will come flooding out and I would stop torturing myself and not hold anything back and just say out loud every fucking last thing that's going wrong rn but then it would be ok bc at least it'd all be out of my head. so like I said I'm not mad at her bc that would just be selfish of me but I'm still hurt and i hate so much that I don't feel comfortable having that conversation w her anymore. I'm scared that no one here knows that I don't feel like I can take care of myself rn. I actually decided right now that it's ok that I don't wanna tell her anymore. I rly can't force myself to make myself feel uncomf and tell her something that deeply personal when I don't have the desire to anymore. but the only reason why I'm ok w that is I just compromised n I'm gonna go to talk to the psychologist at my school tm. even tho I rly can't afford to waste a fucking second of my time this week I literally have to go tomorrow or I'll never go. I've been telling myself for legit 4 years that I would start seeing someone but when it came down to it I would never go bc I would tell myself it's not like I have any like life or death problems anyway n when I would think abt making an appt since it would be scheduled in like 2 weeks I automatically would assume whatever the issue was would go away by then. but I fucking need to do this for myself so even tho I'm not planning on killing myself or anything I honest to fucking god need immediate attn rn and everytime I would consider doing the emergency mtg b4 I would be like oh I'm taking that time away from someone who honestly might wanna kill themself n since of c my problems aren't nearly as valid as that I would just be wasting everyone's time. but I need to be selfish this once. I need help I know I desperately fucking need it but I fucking can't stand myself that even tho ik that I still feel like I'm not worthy of going and getting the help I need. I'm still gonna make myself go but like shit man I should not be thinking that way abt myself. whatever idk I'll try to work on it

anyway I still rly did need to talk to someone even if it wasn't to tell my secret I still needed to vent abt all the other million things that had just gone to shit. I had a weird thing that wasn't a fight but like we never fight so it was just even weirder that happened w my best friend who I never have a problem spilling my heart and my soul to so that also was like ugh but I still woulda been down to call her until I remembered how she just started grad school n has more going on now than ever and that rn wasn't a good time for her. there's this other girl here who just within like the past couple of weeks I've gotten to know better n we just vibe so I thought abt dumping my shit on her but then I felt stupid bc I was literally just w her all day n of c now after she left I feel like bitching abt all my shit but I was like that's not a good enough reason to not talk to her so I decided to reach out

I honestly dk what I would've done if she hadn't been there for me. if ur actually reading this ridiculous thought process no like I said I wasn't gonna kms but that anxiety attack was sooooo bad n I've had my fair fucking share so I don't say that lightly but regardless I'm sosososoosososo grateful to her for being there n hearing out all my irrational concerns and being patient n eventually talking sense into me. I felt so vulnerable at first bc even tho she already knew abt some of what went down I honestly felt ashamed abt these problems I'm facing n it takes me a while to warm up to ppl and be THAT open even if it may not seem like a big deal to some I'm super private w somethings idk but she was so fucking amazing I even did kinda preface or hint or like not in as srs of a way but still did lightly bring up a lil part of my secret. she prob didn't even know it but that was so cool n felt liberating tbh. I'm so happy bc while we were studying earlier today, in a moment when those tears found my eyes again n I was tryna keep my cool n not bawl my eyes out in the library n just take deep breathes I drew this simple as can be flower at the top of my page with a cute smiley right in the flowers center in an effort to make myself feel better n showed it to her n when I was showing it off I decided i would want nothing more than to have this be my next tattoo. she laughed n we just talked n then I was like no but I'm not kidding I rly am getting it. to me it was so real that I was having a day from literal hell but that lil silly flower smiley lit up my insides n made me feel soooooo happy I can't explain n it was just a nice thing to try to redirect my thoughts to bc I already love flowers but idk this drawing is like literally a stroke of genius idc if it sounds crazy n anyway she looks at it longer n told me she honestly rly liked it too n said she would get it tatted n I told her again like I'm so srs this thing is giving me LIFE n she surprised me n said yeah me too n so we decided we would get matching tats n I thought abt all the past friends who I've had this convo w like obv abt diff tattoos but I was just asking myself if I rly would want to share this lil treat w her n I can't explain how but all the other times I've talked abt getting matching tattoos w good friends it just felt like a game and not real but this felt different. I'm so stoked were gonna do this together n the fact that I'll have one of my own doodles on my skin like I just love every bit of it. n I thought abt how it's gonna be so magical even when we graduate how the same smiley flower on me will go and see the world thru her eyes. she's from Dubai so even tho it's sad we can't live in the same city forever idk I genuinely feel like I'll be connected and there w her no matter where we go. it's unbelievable to me just how much of the same person we are n how close we've gotten so fast I'm so blessed to have her in my life

wow what an experience. hopefully tm is better

#mind

[survivor-junglerun]

RIGHTS OF PASSAGE

TJ- Hi!! I'm still so sorry for targeting you really early on but i'm glad to have met you and got to know you better thru pressure cooker! You were such a strong competitor in that and its so sad to see that you got the placement you got. Totally undeserved and robbed from this season.

Richie- Heyyy! You def pulled a fast one on me with the tribe haha but you were totally robbed and ngl hot lol

Jake- Ur a snake bitch and U KNOW WHAT U SAID ABOUT ME U WHORE.

Chris- Omg ily so much I hope college is going good for u! Good karma coming ur way

Carson- Hi carson! Coming into the game I totally wanted to be your like ride or die bitch but sadly the votes weren't there for me at that time and we fell out. Right as I return, you leave! I hope you have been doing well bc ur a sexy bitch and ily and u have a great personality and ur super friendly!

Gavin- Hi! You are such a nice person honestly and I hope everything went well for u these past few weeks in school. AND I REALLY HOPE everything went okay with you and your dog. Tht is super heartbreaking and I totally have been thinking about you and hoping everything went well for you! xoxo good energy always

Chrissa- MY SOUL SISTER. MY WIFE. FEMINIST ICON. LEADER OF WOMENS RIGHTS. I was fucking HEARTBROKEN when the men tore my soulmate away from me in this game. I wish there was more I could have done honestly because it truly upset me so bad seeing you go out. You KNOW ur my favorite person ever and I wanted to only do right by you and try my best to make it as far in this game as I could for you and all the women. I hope I can get this check bb because WE ARE GONNA GO TO BORA BORA AND B SIPPIN ON SOME MARGARITAS WOOOOOOO TEQUILAAAAAA

Noah- You were probably one of the most open and nice people when I first came back into merge. Like I wouldn't be where I am right now if it wasn't for working with you honestly. You totally had my best interest at heart 100% and even wanted to help save Chrissa with me bc u knew it upset me ppl were targeting her. I'm so glad I got to meet you and make a new friend! xoxo good energy always

Dan- Honestly you were probably like the BEST liar ever! I believe you EVERYTIME you spoke to me. Like I am convinced you are some super genious or something like that because like strategically you were amazing. Like you have gotten me out, and like LEGIT the night you left I totally was going to fall thru with your plan 100% if it wasn't for me going off on Brandan. I love you as a person too! You are always hilarious and beautiful. good energy and vibes xoxo

Brandan- Hi!!! I first of all want to apologize for your vote off. I know I lied when I said I was going to keep you and I was really wanting to, but I soon realized numbers weren't there to do it, and Drew is just an amazing talker. I really love your energy and your personality 100%. I believe you were probably the nicest person here and I like 100% respect tht and love you for it. I hope ur not mad at me and we can still be friends! xoxo

Drew- Okay first of all I love u bitch, second of all i'm really sorry I couldn't help you at all during f5. Belive me I did ask people and say I was considering keeping you and that is 100% true. But people just called me insane like always and it didn't work out. I love u as a person and always will. I am sry I called u a skank tht one night I was in a bad mood and was probably drunk on like a four loko or something idk. But you rly are like the best competitor ever, and you are super smart. I love u always and forever. xoxo

Gavin - I feel so bad. We never really got to talk. Brandan - I hope you finally figure out one day that snaking, then playing victim really isn���t a good strategy. Noah - you were always so nice!! I wish we talked more. Drew - ily. Thank you for always having my back in this game. Carson - CARSOOOON please don’t die :(

Chrissa - Queen. Robbed queen. Ilysm. Dan - we were crushing it until there was a snake in your boot. You did so well this season. I’m proud of you. Chris - ugh I really did want to stay loyal to you. But that’s hard to do when a majority wanted you gone. Emily - who? Jake - errrm? Devon - I’m so sorry, I don’t remember you either. Megan - I don’t know you either (worry)

Richie - I don’t understand why people gunned for you like that. It made zero sense. We kept losing. You were our ticket to win. I’m sorry man. TJ - bruh!! Communication is a two way street.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GKpupsDTUkKk4nKbQNVB_hgZ3Sc3NSJdekwqR_xpbA0/edit?usp=sharing

#JungleFever