#and there was a lot more angst in the arsenal as well

[luuxxart]

evil win! the ones plotting for your mysterious death are uncle and nephew!

#persona 5 #persona 4 #goro akechi #tohru adachi #uncle Adachi au #this came from the idea of apophenia #which means connecting dots that aren’t there #every time I see these two in fanart I go ‘wow . Adachi is so uncle coded here. akechi is totally his nephew. everyone is thinkign this’ #false. my au has not reached enough eyes #so I just idk wanted to draw them next to each other to inspire further apophenia in both me and perhaps my followers lol #i was inspired by someone who like. literally just drew them beside each other and I was like. yeah i could do that #NO I COULDNT. NOT EASILY #my brain was like ‘you should do a comic abt how Adachi can’t help but see his sister in akechi bc they look almost exactly the same’ #and there was a lot more angst in the arsenal as well #took me forever to just. draw this. like literally I thought I was gonna go insane #i cant. not. draw. a comic. or something with the vaguest of stories it is SO HARD idk why #so this was definitely a struggle. hope y all like it

[magics-neptunes-things]

Collide (1)

Hello everyone!

Here we are finally in the series I talk about a few days ago. After the votes you chose Leah, but I might have kept some ideas for Alessia afterwards.

I have the beginning of the story and the end, but I have not yet decided exactly what would happen in the middle, so I am unable to tell you how many chapters there will be in this story.

I hope you will like it and as usual, I gladly take your comments, requests and suggestions :) Don’t hesitate to write to me.

Happy reading!

World count : 4.8k

TW : Mention of breaking up and angst. I think nothing else but if you notice something please let me know!

PART 2 I PART 3 I PART 4 I PART 5 I PART 6 | PART 7

The news of your transfer to Arsenal was like a little bomb in the football world. You were on the verge of another contract extension with Manchester City when the London club contacted your agent, offering you a contract that you couldn’t refuse. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, you thought about it long before accepting. You asked for the advice of your parents and friends footballers perhaps a little more experienced than you. Including Ingrid Engen, one of your best friends since you started playing on the Norwegian national team.

After weighing the pros and cons, you decided to accept and say goodbye to Manchester City. Some things will obviously miss you. Starting with some of your teammates that you consider your friends and who seemed really saddened by your departure.

You quickly got along with Laia Aleixandri and Leila Ouahabi, the spanish womens taking you under their wing just arrived in Manchester. They made your life easier and helped you include yourself in the club much more easily than you could have hoped. Leaving your home country at almost 18 wasn’t easy, but if you wanted to continue to follow your dreams, you really had no choice. Norwegian football being less in the spotlight, when you had the first proposal from an English club, you didn’t hesitate a single second. Your parents and relatives encouraged you to accept this offer as well.

Your life in Manchester has been pleasant and you can’t help but be a little nervous about moving to a new city. With other people, other places… In short, to start almost from the beggining. The only thing that has changed between your settlement between Manchester and London is that you have undoubtedly developed your athletic abilities and skills in all areas necessary to be able to play football properly.

Your contract was signed just after the end of the World Cup, so you were the last to announced at Arsenal. This didn’t allow you to find an apartment in time and that is why you find yourself in a hotel room for your first nights in London. It’s a little strange, but you’d rather that than take an apartment that wouldn’t suit you. It’s important for you to really feel at home when you cross the threshold of your door and you haven’t found the one who gave you this impression in those you have visited for the moment.

You only have a few things with you at the moment, all your furniture is stored in Laia’s garage in Manchester, ready to be sent as soon as you find what suits you. Very soon, let’s hope.

********

It’s a little nervous that you leave the Uber that accompanies you to the Arsenal training center for your first day under the colors of the club. You have already made the promotional photos, so you have already met several people belonging to the staff. You’ve already had a meeting with Jonas, but you haven’t met a lot of people officially when it comes to the players.

Last night, Alessia Russo contacted you via Instagram (you didn’t even realize she was following you on social media) and offered to wait for you at the entrance to make your way together. You quickly accepted, even if you also quickly understood that it was for you more than for her. Alessia knows a lot of people on the team, unlike you. But the gesture made you happy. Alessia having played at Manchester United while you were playing at Manchester City, you might have had a bad connection with her, being clubs enemy, but that’s not the case. Leila and Laia always took you with them when they were going out with Ona and her friends and that’s how you met Alessia. From saying you’re friends with her there’s a world, but you appreciate the blonde’s personality.

Alessia is already waiting for you when you arrive and you smile at her when you reach her height.

"Hi" you say with a slight smile, responding willingly to her embrace.

"Nervous?" asks the blonde, glancing at you.

You answer with a simple grunt that makes her laugh, before you go to the conference room where you meet the rest of the team. She asks you about your Summer and you ask questions back, learning that she went in her family in Italy.

Several of your teammates are already present when you enter the room, including Jonas who greets you both with a big smile. You find yourself following Alessia around like a lost puppy in the room, but she doesn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, she introduces you to people she already knows.

You’ve come across some of them on football fields in previous games, but aside from a few words exchanged with them, there’s never been anything more. You talk to Laia Codina, whom Laia and Leila described as an adorable girl, when a new trio arrives in the room. Lia, Leah and Katie.

"Katie terrifies me" Alessia jokes in your ear before Leah spots her and leads the other two in your direction.

"Do you know Y/N?" Alessia tells Leah after they greet each other with an embrace.

"Not really" Leah replies with a smile. "Welcome to Arsenal!"

"Thank you very much"

When your eyes meet, you feel a wave of shivers running through your entire body. Nothing to do with the terror that Katie can inspire in Alessia, but what it can mean does intrigue you no less. But you quickly recover, greeting all three. You realize too that Leah’s embrace lasts a few seconds longer than the others, her hand dragging in the hollow of your back when she laughs at a joke Katie made.

Shortly after, Jonas and his assistants arrive in the room and ask you all to sit down. You find yourself next to Alessia and Manuela Zinsberger and listens wisely to what he tells you. This mainly consists of a warm welcome from the new players, a reminder of the goals set for the team this year and the introduction of new staff members. After that, everyone is invited to a brunch and you find yourself around a big round table, once again with Manuela but also with Frida Maanum, who seems delighted to have a compatriot with her on the team.

"We’ll be able to show Stina and Amanda who the real Vikings are" she told you, amusing the people around you.

The least we can say is that you quickly feel comfortable.

Finally you were wrong to fear the introduction into your new team. You haven’t trained together yet, but you feel it won’t be a problem for you to fit in here. Despite you, your eyes are a little too turned towards Leah Williamson, who has lunch at an another table. You didn’t expect the injuries one to be here today, which was stupid of you. They’re just as much part of the team as you are.

In the middle of the afternoon, after visiting the different rooms and the training ground, you are free to leave. You stay a little longer than the first ones who do though, having fun making passes with Alessia and Manuela, while Leah, Lia, Beth and Viv stay a few meters from you to discuss. When you finally decide to leave the field to go home and you don’t follow them to the parking lot greeting them nevertheless, you see Leah arching an eyebrow.

"Where are you going?"

"Taking the subway? I don’t have a car yet" you answer smiling, shrugging your shoulders.

"Bullshit. Someone can bring you back" Leah says, turning to your teammates.

"I’m not going to force someone to make a detour for me, Leah, but that’s very kind, thank you very much."

Something in the blonde’s gaze makes you think that if she had been fit to drive, she herself would have made the detour, but being driven by Lia she doesn’t have the opportunity to do so.

"I can" says Alessia nicely. "Where do you live?"

A new wave of surprise attacks your teammates when you give them the name of your hotel.

"You live in a hotel?" Lia wonders with her kind voice this time.

"I didn’t find an apartment for now" you shrug your shoulders."It all happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to anticipate things properly."

Well, you must also say that you wanted enjoy your holiday without bother yourself with it.

"We have a guest room if you want to come and live there for a few days, the time to find something" proposes Manuela.

But before you have time to answer, Alessia suddenly resumes speaking, slapping her forhead, as if she had just remembered something.

"They’re looking to rent the apartment in front of mine, on the same floor. If it’s like mine, it’s really nice!"

********

It turned out that the apartment in front of Alessia is indeed very nice. A bright living room (Very rare for London said Katie when she was sent by Leah to come make the counter-visit with you to scare the seller in case of scam attempts), a bedroom, another room that you used as a guest room, a third to make you an office and a living room with open kitchen. You even have a small balcony overlooking the inner courtyard, separated from Alessia’s by a transparent wall. "We’ll have to do a housewarming party" several of your teammates got excited. And that’s how you end up with most of the players on the team crammed into your living room, laughing while watching a reality show chosen by Jen. You ordered pizza and a supply of beer and other drinks has been flooding your balcony since last night. But you feel good and that’s all that matters. At the end of the show, you don’t know who offers a drinking game, consisting of taking a shot of alcohol if we did more than the person says. For example, you find yourself having to drink when Lotte says "I took more than three yellow cards last season." "Katie should drink like five shots" jokes Viv towards. Katie glare at her as laughter rises around you, but the game continues. Finally, when one of them says "I slept with more than two people" you are surprised to see that finally not many of you drink. You do. "Y/N?" Manuela turns to you with a disbelieving smile. "We never said we had to justify ourselves" you answer pulling your tongue at her. A new round is quickly thrown after that, but you cross Leah’s eyes a few seconds later. She also drank, which is probably not surprising given the small reputation that precedes her.

After clearing your throat, you look away with a slight blush on your cheeks.

You regularly saw Leah, between the parties organized by the different team members and during training. If the blond doesn’t follow those in the field, she has her appointments with her physiotherapist at the same time as you play. And she now participates in strength training and physical maintenance.

You talk to her regularly, but you have a hard time staying away like you promised yourself to. Leah seems like a very passionate and kind person, but some of your former teammates in Manchester City have made you aware of her flirtatious nature. And a one- or two-night thing, are really not what you’re looking for right now.

A little later in the evening, when at least half of the squad has returned home, you find yourself tidying up a little in the kitchen accompanied by Lia, Leah, Alessia, Manuela and Frida.

"So you have more than two conquests?" teases Manuela, leaning on the central island of your kitchen.

You have the impression that Leah’s eyes will pierce your head when she hears Manu’s question.

"I’ve got like three" you says, rolling your eyes. "It’s not the end of the world"

"It’s not" Lia laughs.

Hoping to divert the conversation, you offer once again to drink to your teammates slash friends. But that was without counting on Manu’s spontaneity.

"Oh but it wasn’t you who dated Alina Meier who play in Aston Villa? Lia’s swiss teammate?" (n/a I don’t want any problem with anyone, this girl is all invented)

You feel your stomach contracting a little bit to her name. Manuela isn’t mistaken, but you usually avoid talking about your ex. Any of your interlocutors could feel the tension emanating from you, but Lia is the fastest.

"Can I have another beer please?" she cuts the conversation with a big smile.

You willingly accept and pivot towards the fridge to dive in. Alessia takes charge of changing the topic of conversation and you sigh of relief when your hear that it works. You spend two seconds more than necessary to take out the beer, taking a large breath before leaving the fridge. Alessia puts a comforting hand behind your back and you find yourself once again stuck in Leah’s eyes when your eyes cross.

An hour later, it’s just Alessia, Leah, Victoria and you. Manuela fell asleep on the couch and you will probably find her in the same place tomorrow morning. Vic and Lessi are in the middle of a conversation about a band when you find yourself on your balcony, enjoying some fresh air.

"Mind if I join you?"

Leah. You obviously invite her to join you, despite yourself very intrigued by the young woman. You’re not stupid, or at least not stupid enough not to realize that she seems intrigued by you too. She speaks at you more often than Manu for example and behaves differently with you than with Lia or Alessia. You can imagine how much she looks about you and to be honest you’re interested about her too. But on your side it’s not only physical interest, which changes everything.

"Are you okay?" asks Leah with sincere concern. "You seem a little down since Manu mentioned Alina."

You look at her thoughtfully for a split second before shrugging your shoulders.

"She doesn’t bring back pleasant memories. But it’s ok" you finally confess, looking at the sky.

It’s difficult in London to observe the stars, between pollution and public lights lit everywhere. You miss it a little.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Well… Everybody in the football world knows, no?"

Another disadvantage of dating a well-known player, in the end. It’s impossible to keep your privacy private.

"I don’t think so?" said Leah, frowning. "I don’t, anyway." You look at her again for a few seconds and it doesn’t take you any longer to understand that she’s telling the truth. "We dated for almost a year, until I found out she had been cheating on me with someone in the man team from her club for almost four months." "Oh... I’m so sorry" A new glance in her direction allows you to understand that she really is. Frowning, she seems upset by this story. Like all the people to whom you tell the truth of your break up with Alina. You assumed that everyone knew why, but it would seem that they didn’t. It kind of cheers you up to be honored. "Jordan’s playing with her now" you say thoughtfully. Leah grunt at the mention of her ex and you take advantage of the fact that she looks in front of her to observe her. Leah is a very beautiful woman, it’s not surprising that people like her so much. You see regularly video on her in your "For you" on Tiktok. "You’re not the only one having a bad relationship with your ex" ended up sighing Leah. "Do you want to talk about it?" you ask, repeating her words from before. "There’s not much to say. She’s just, you know... gone." Maybe you shouldn’t get close to her to put your hand on her shoulder, her proximity triggering strange sensations throughout your body. You realize that the joints of Leah’s hands that are attached to the fence are white, and your hand quickly leaves her shoulder to be laid on one of Leah’s, stroking it. When Leah turns her head in your direction, you realize how close your faces are. Your breath is cut off and the infinity of the blue of her eyes makes you lose yourself. When Leah puts her hand around your waist to take you against her, you feel like your heart rate has never been so fast.

But it’s nothing compared to how you feel when her lips land on yours. One hand is automatically behind her neck and the other on her cheek. Your lips begin a passionate and sensual dance and that’s exactly how you imagined things when you thought about how Leah kiss.

The blonde takes advantage of a wimper from you to deepend the kiss and request access to your mouth with her tongue. You leave it to her, carried away by these waves of emotions and sensations that make you turn your head. You find yourself quickly having legs in jelly and you can’t tell how long this moment happened.

You need all your concentration and willpower to break that kiss, snatching yourself from Leah’s arms.

"I’m sorry" you mumble out of breath, facing Leah’s surprised face. "I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry"

With one last mumble, you hurry back inside. If the remaining guests suspect something, they don’t show it. You take the excuse to clean up a little more to mask your trembling hands and let your heart rate returning to normal. Five minutes later, Leah came back inside, excusing herself and leaving your apartment, calling it a night. She didn't even look at you and well, that's hurt. But it shouldn't, aren't you the one who pushed her away?

After kissing your cheek and saying goodbye, Alessia left you too. You throw a blanket on Manu’s sleeping body, you go to your room. It’s late, but you know that Ingrid sometimes stays up a little later than other people.

From You Are you asleep?

From Ingrid 🩵 No. are you okay?

From You Can we call each other?

You don’t get messages back, but Ingrid tries to call you while you’re brushing your teeth. You pick up, mouth full of toothpaste and greet your friend with a hand sign when her face appears on the screen.

"What are you still up at this hour?" smiled Ingrid

"I could ask you the same question" you point out to her after rinsing your mouth.

Ingrid just turns your phone screen and you realize that she shows you her living room, in which she seems to be installed with Mapi and Baghera watching TV.

"Hola Mapi!" you smile to the tattooed when she greets you with a wave of hand.

"What about you?"

"I invited the girls to my apartment to celebrate my move in" you explain before leaving the bathroom and going to lie on your bed.

"Was it nice?"

You hum for any answer, the memory of the kiss you just exchanged with Leah coming back full force. After spending years paying attention at you, Ingrid knows you very well and she realizes in the second that the reason you called her is related to this evening.

"What’s going on, Søtnos?"

Mapi being next to Ingrid, you are relieved that you started this conversation in Norwegian. Since Leah’s name is rather all-purpose, you hope that when you mention her, Maria will not realise. You never understood why there is such tension between the Spanish women and the English women, at least for some of them. But Mapi will probably never be friends with Leah.

Ingrid is a person you could easily confide in, even if there are parts of your life that you have never talked to her about. But you trust her with your life and you know that she will always be able to see things in a neutral and mature way. Which is not always your case.

You explain the situation to her, trying not to take too much time while giving her all the necessary information to have a clear vision of things.

"For summary" resumes Ingrid after your monologue "You like her, she seems to like you too. She kissed you, you pushed her away and she left without looking at you?"

"Uh… yeah"

"And you’re surprised?" laughs softly the brunette shaking her head.

"No, on the contrary. I should never have accepted that kiss in the first place, it was a serious mistake on my part."

"Why?"

"Because she doesn’t see things the way I do, I guess. Leila told me to beware of her and she didn’t want anything serious for a long time" you sigh as you roll to the side.

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"No, we didn’t have time between the kiss and the moment she left my apartment slamming the door" you laugh.

"Be careful with your bad attitude" warns Ingrid pointing at you.

But you smile at her in return. You know she doesn’t scold you for real.

"Anyway, I doubt that she will want to speak to me again after that" you sigh again.

This information shouldn’t depress you as much as that, but still. And this doesn’t escape the keen eye of your compatriot once again. She smiles softly at you.

"I like Leila and I don’t doubt that she means what she says, but trust me, you’re never better served than by yourself."

Her look from the side and you know she’s looking at her own girlfriend. You remember perfectly well that Ingrid was also told to beware of Mapi. But when you see where they are today, you tell yourself that she did well to trust her own idea.

"You have a better conscience than me to judge people" you remind her.

Ingrid answers you with a grunt and you know that she thinks about what happened previously in your love life. You make a grimace and decide to change the subject, questioning her rather on Mapi, her trainings and what she has to tell you again in her life.

Your call lasts another ten minutes before you decide to stop, promising to call you back quickly. What you usually do once a week at least, determined to keep in touch despite the fact that you are not in the same country.

It’ll be a long time before you can fall asleep that night, Leah deep in your mind. Part of you is bitterly sorry you pushed her away, but on the other hand, no one can blame you for wanting to protect you, right? No one knows your past and what you went through before you came here. But you can’t help but feel guilty, despite the little time you spent with Leah, she confided in you about her relationship with her ex and even if it was just a few words, you feel like she wouldn’t do it to just anyone. Your last wish is to hurt her, she asked nothing for it.

You will have to wait until the sky clears, heralding a new day for you to finally find sleep, long hours later. Little did you know that Leah experienced the same thing in her own bed.

********

As you have imagined, Leah was particularly cold the next time you saw her. She greeted you, but only from a distance. Her affectionate smile and the little touches if attention she offered you on a daily basis now seem to need to be evoked in the past. And it bothers you too much for your taste.

This obviously caught the attention of the girls you were closest to in Arsenal, starting with Alessia.

"Is everything okay with Leah?" she asked you one day when you ended up in her apartment after a game.

"Yeah, why?"

Thank God you were on your phone and you were able to use this pretext to pretend to be absorbed by what was on it. Otherwise Alessia would have seen the slight panic take hold of your gaze.

"I don’t know, I think she changed her behavior with you… It’s not so much in her habits"

Alessia is far too observant, but given her character and personality, it doesn’t surprise you. It's also probably thanks to this that she saw your hesitation and she got closer to you before starting to speak again.

"Leah is my friend but you are too, so if you need to confide in someone, you can do it with me ok? I know how to keep secrets"

"Even for Tooney?" you asked while arching an amused eyebrow.

You met the energetic Englishman recently, when she came to London for an interview and took the opportunity to attend a match of Alessia.

"Even for Tooney" laughed Alessia gently shoving you with a shoulder.

You laughed too and you both went back to your respective phones, but in truth Alessia’s remark began to spin in your brain.

"Thanks"

Is all you added before you letting your head on her shoulder. Alessia responded by tapping you on the top of it, without taking her phone out of her eyes. And that was enough.

********

"Your tattoo is amazing!"

Katie’s exclamation makes you turn in her direction and you smile timidly when you see her watching your back carefully.

"Thank you?" you whisper in response.

Even if you prefer showering at home, this is not the first time you change in front of your teammates. So you don't know it Katie have never dared to ask you about it or if they have never really make attention the tattoo you have on your back. Yet it’s hard to miss. Drawn on all your right shoulder blade, it goes down to the hollow of your hips and shows up to your right shoulder.

"Wow, invite the girl on a date before" jokes Manuela when Katie advances towards you, without detaching her eyes from your back, her head slightly tilting on the side to have a better view.

"Sorry, I already put an option on it!" Caitlin exclaims at the back of the locker room, causing a general laugh.

Katie rolls her eyes, but you realize that she has been joined by Lia and Leah, all three of them carefully observing your tattoo. Your gaze lingers on Leah, who seems to resist as much as possible her desire to come and look closer. She stands behind Lia and when your eyes cross she silently observes you for long seconds before shifting her attention to your back.

"Sorry about the invasion" Lia smiles gently.

"It makes me think of a painting" Leah thoughtfully made next to her.

"By Van Gogh yes. The Starry Night. It was my grandfather’s favorite painting. Well, it’s a modified version obviously, but the inspiration is there"

The surprised look of Leah doesn't escape you. Lia is watching you silently and next to you Katie and Manuela have started a conversation about tattoos. As for Alessia, she finally emerges from the shower after her eternal routine of care.

"Do you like painting?" Leah asks carefully, looking at you with the same apprehension as if your gaze could ignite her alive.

"My grandfather was a painter, not very well known but he introduced me to this world" you answer by shrugging your shoulders.

"What she paints is incredible. She has a room dedicated to this at home, behind her bedroom" Alessia intervenes.

You turn in her direction, frowning. It's a part of you that you don't really want to share with everyone, fearing their jugement. You don't think you're a great painter, but you like painting. It's sort your mind. Your glance is quickly captured by your friend.

"What? It’s true" she mumbles, shrugging.

You roll your eyes and turn around to finish dressing, putting on a t-shirt and a sweatshirt to accompany your ripped jeans. The little troop that surrounded you has dissipated, but Leah’s gaze remains thoughtfully on you. You cross it when you glance in her direction and you blush slightly.

The effect that woman has on you… It might be a good idea to talk to someone about it again instead of thinking desperately about her every night before you fall asleep.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson

[inuyashaluver]

Hey, would you write for Leila Ouahabi, where Spanish reader plays for arsenal and is really close with Katie due to being 2 years younger than her so Katie took the reader under her wing when she joined from Barca and Leila accidentally harshly tackled reader and katie is really protective over reader and this fuels some sort of jealousy in Leila.

You don’t have to. Also I Love your writing amor x

jealous girl - leila ouahabi

leila ouahabi x reader

description: in which you see your girlfriend jealous, a rare occurrence in your relationship

warnings: slight angst if you squint, mentions of jealousy, injury, swearing and suggestiveness, a little long, spanish in bold italics

a/n: ahhh thank you for the love and support lovely, please enjoy!!!! don’t know how i feel about this but we persevere!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your girlfriend, leila, were next door neighbours in spain when you were just kids. you would peer at each other over the fence, both of you would be practising football drills and wanted to play together but you were both too shy. you finally met when she “accidentally” kicked a ball over to your side, the girl climbing over the fence to retrieve it.

“hi” she breathes out, one of her legs hiked over the fence as you stared up at her with wide eyes, holding her ball. “hi” you smile, she finally drops herself onto the grass in your backyard. you shyly hand her the ball in your hands and she smiles at you appreciatively. “do you want to play together?” she suggests with a smile, “yes!” you exclaim a little too enthusiastically, the girl just giggles at you, throwing the ball on the ground and kicking it to you.

ever since then, you were inseparable. you and leila played at all the same clubs, eventually moved in together, pined over each other for years until she asked you out when you were 20 and leila was 24. it was easy to say that you knew each other like the back of your hand. you both had so much trust, love and respect for each other, feeling so comforted and secure in your relationship, until it wasn’t.

when you and leila played for barcelona, you both felt it was time for a change, your managers were looking at transfer openings and landed you both one in arsenal and manchester city.

you were each others biggest supporters, it was a no brainer that you could do long distance, sure you’d never really been apart but you could visit each other often, you both trusted each other and knew it would be okay, the girls in both of your teams helping you settle in nicely.

katie mccabe, in particular, took you under her wing, claiming that you reminded her a lot of her younger sisters. it’s notoriously known that katie is a defender, and a good one at that, whether it was on or off the pitch, she would defend you with her entire being. leila was grateful that katie was there for you, acting as your protector while she was in manchester, though her heart would slightly crack that it wasn’t her.

—

it was the last game of the season, manchester city vs arsenal. whenever you and leila had to play against each other, it made you extremely nervous. you were a winger, leila was a defender, she would be marking you and that was scary for not only you, but your girlfriend as well. you knew how the other played, you could barely get a goal when your girlfriend synchronised all her moves with you, it was nerve wracking.

you’d both met up before the match, engulfing each other in a tight embrace. as soon as you saw one another, bright expressions were prominent on your features, you’d seen each other a week before but it was too long for both of you.

“mi amor (my love)” leila coos, cradling your face in between her hands, moving your head around gently to take in your appearance.

“you got prettier, how did you get any more beautiful?” she tutts, gently shaking her head.

you giggle at her lovingly, wrapping your arms around her waist and littering numerous kisses on her cheeks. “you’re so gorgeous, bebé (baby), i missed you so much” she smiles so brightly at you, surging forward to press a sweet kiss to your lips, moving your mouth along with hers gently until she slightly moves away, “i missed you more” she whispers, the words hitting your lips as she spoke.

you grin when she kisses you immediately after, unable to hold your giggle when she slips a hand under your jersey to graze her nail on the skin of your waist. she grins when you lean into her, pecking your lips multiple times before she pulls away. “give it your all,'' she flickers her eyes between yours, she speaks so softly, you almost don’t hear her. “you as well” you kiss her cheek gently one more time before pushing her from you.

“you’re in my residence now, ouahabi, gunners only!” you wave your finger around, the emirates stadium walls full of arsenal memorabilia. you grin at her cheekily, she shakes her head at you and blows you a kiss before running off to her change room, you doing the same.

“with your little girlfriend, aye?” katie smirks when you walk in with slightly swollen lips and flushed cheeks. “shut it, katie” you mumble, giving her a playful punch when you sit down next to her in your cubby.

“all right, girls, let’s do this!” kim glances around the room, all of you cheer and make your way to the tunnel.

—

you and leila were both starting, you couldn’t help but smirk at her when she walks up to high five you in the line just before the match, you were last and so was she, so when she got to you, she throws you a cheeky wink and interlaces your fingers quickly, giving your hands a quick squeeze before walking off.

after a quick team huddle, you walk towards your girlfriend, she was marking you on the pitch. when you walk up to her, both of you have identical smirks gracing your features, all of it friendly competition.

when you finally take your place in front of her, you feel her hands seeking refuge on your hips, the girl giving you a light squeeze before placing a hand on the small of your back when the whistle signals the beginning of the match.

the game was going well, leila was keeping you hot on your toes. you knew your movements all too well, completely synchronised with your footwork and your tactics, after all, she’s been playing with you for over 10 years.

when she clears the ball from you for the fifth time, you can’t help but let out a groan of frustration, the girl behind you giggling and running her hands all over your sides, mockingly, leaning to whisper in your ear. “nice try, lindura (cutie)”, you shake her off you and try and get the ball back.

arsenal was in the lead and it was a relief, you were always on the ball but leila just had you running in circles, your teammates were equally frustrated. half time gets called and you grab leila’s hand, dragging her into the tunnel to get out of the public eye. everyone and their mother knew that you were dating, being long time partners in crime, you just didn’t want them to see you scolding your lovely girlfriend.

“leila” you start, letting go of her hand and pacing in front of her. she cringes when you use her first name, she was definitely in trouble. “you need to stop distracting me and take me seriously!” you groan, pointing at her accusingly but all you were met with was a shit eating grin from your girlfriend. “leila!” you exclaim, looking at her expectantly for a response.

“amorcito (little love), i am taking you seriously but i haven’t seen you in so long and you’re killing me in these shorts” she puts a finger in the waistband, pulling it back slightly to let it snap back on your skin, you both flush a little in the cheeks. “nope, not gonna work, we’re not girlfriends right now, i’m your opponent” she nods begrudgingly, moving forward to kiss your lips quickly.

your eyes widen and you look at her in disbelief. “so you go around kissing your opponents? you have a girlfriend!” you gasp, she can’t help but smirk, moving to whisper in your ear again, “if they look like you, maybe i’ll consider” you give her a light shove, going to your change room and shaking your head as you hear leila’s bright laugh following you.

—

the game continues, it was currently 2-1 and everyone was getting frustrated, especially manchester city, their play style was getting slightly rough and reckless, including your girlfriend. leila finally let you have a chance to the ball, you pass to kim, and she does a small play with victoria before making eye contact with you to press forward.

you instantly move up, running the long distance when you see alessia open and ready with an opportunity, when you receive the ball, you send it to her, and, as it leaves your foot, you get clipped at the ankle. a searing pain causes you to instantly fall to the ground, lying there hunched up in a ball. you hear the roar of the crowd, alessia had gotten the goal from your assist.

when you open your eyes, your team was celebrating, until you hear shouting from next to you. your girlfriend and katie were getting into it during the goal celebration. as it turns out, leila had clipped your ankle, completely by accident, and just when she was about to pick you up and apologise, katie bounded over to her, giving her a harsh shove to get her away from you.

“what the fuck was that, ouahabi?” katie exclaims, giving your girlfriend a shove on her chest. leila’s eyes widen in confusion, “what are you talking about?”

leila scowls, giving katie a way less aggressive shove, “you know what the fuck i’m talking about, that’s your girlfriend and you fucking hurt her like that?” katie’s pissed, her eyebrows furrow in anger, “katie, please” katie and leila whip their head towards you, you were fine.

they both let out relieved sighs, katie giving you a quick kiss on your head before sending leila a warning glare before walking off, she knew leila meant no harm, but seeing you hurt just pissed her off on another level. leila moves towards you, guilt ridden in her features as she hesitantly grabs your hands. you give her a reassuring squeeze, looking into her eyes to assure her that you were okay.

“bebé (baby), it’s football, i asked you to play seriously and you did” leila frowns at your response, “yeah, never again, that was awful, i’m so sorry, mi amor (my love)” you give her a quick kiss to her cheek,

“it’s okay, i promise” she nods at your response, you quickly go over to alessia and give her a quick hug, the girl lifting you up quickly before placing you on the ground. “you’re too good” the blonde exclaims, giving you a playful grin as she passes you your water.

everyone was having a quick water break after your injury time, getting right back to the game. arsenal wins, 3-2 and a good game for the most part. you went around to exchange greetings with the manchester city team, saving leila for last. just before you’re about to go to her, you see katie approach leila, giving her a clap on the back with a quick exchange of an apology. you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

leila beckons you over, you run up to the two girls, katie slinging an arm over your shoulder. you couldn’t miss the way leila’s smile slightly dropped, she wanted to hold you like that but katie beat her to it. after a quick conversation, katie gives you a quick kiss on the top of your head before running off to find caitlin.

leila watches as she leaves and you grin at her cheekily. “what?” leila scowls, her eyebrows slightly furrowing. “you seem a little jealous, ouahabi” leila scoffs at you, crossing her arms over her chest. “as if” you grin at her, poking her crossed arms with your finger.

“oh, you so are, look at you all grumpy” you move your hand to pinch her cheek and she swats your hand away, “no i’m not! i’ll meet you at the car” she quickly moves from you, roughly taking out her shin pads as she walks, tightly clenching them in her hands, you lightly giggle as she walks away, she’s jealous, something you’ve rarely seen in her.

due to it being a home game for you, it only made sense for leila to stay over, and since it was the last game of the season, she was staying with you for a bit. you wait for her by your car, smiling when she approaches, your girlfriend slightly sulking when she arrives. you let out a little smirk but it washes away when your girlfriend glares at you, opening the driver’s side door, indicating she was driving.

you watch as she harshly grips the steering wheel as she drove, her knuckles turning slightly white, her veins popping through the skin of her forearm.

“muñeca (doll), what’s wrong?” you say cautiously, placing a gentle hand on the middle of your girlfriend’s thigh. her breath hitched at your action but her scowl stays strong amongst her features.

she doesn’t talk to you the entire ride, light music playing in the background while you both sat in silence. when she arrived at your house, she wordlessly grabs both of your bags and heads inside, leaving you utterly confused.

she changes into a pair of your shorts and a shirt and goes to sit on your couch, turning on your tv and watching mindless television as she sulks while viewing it. you can’t help but pace around her, utterly terrified of how you were going to approach the situation.

you hesitantly move to stand in front of the tv, looking down at the girl expectantly but she just glances at you before redirecting her head around your figure to continue watching the program.

you huff out in frustration, moving to straddle her lap and settle your weight on her to keep her there. she looks into your eyes with an unreadable expression. you cradle her face in between her hands, “bebé, katie is just a friend” you trail your eyes all over her face, leaning in to give her a sweet kiss on her right cheek.

she slightly clenches her jaw. she knew katie was just a friend, there was just something about how she wasn’t the one comforting you in that moment. she gives you no reaction, her eyes boring into yours as you smile softly at her. you give her another kiss this time on her left cheek. still no reaction. you give her a kiss on her forehead and her nose, giggling when it lightly scrunches up at your contact.

she fights a smile and it goes unmissed by you, placing a sweet kiss on her lips, grinning when she immediately gives in and kisses you back. only, she wasn’t returning your sweet gesture, instead, she kissed you with all her pent up frustration. she grips the back of your head, lightly grazing her teeth on your bottom lip before giving it a gentle bite, causing you to open your mouth slightly, the girl immediately slipping her tongue into your mouth.

it was a clash of tongues and teeth, the girl kissing you with all her emotions, you show her all the love you have for her. when she pulls away, she just looks at you. pink cheeked and swollen lips with dilated pupils, she knew you were hers and hers only.

“mi tigre (my tiger) is jealous, hm?” you grin mockingly, she can’t help but roll her eyes full of amusement.

“maybe a little” she shrugs, letting out a little giggle when you lean in to press a trail of kisses up her neck and across her jaw.

“tu tigre (your tiger) can make it up to you?” leila smirks suggestively, you slightly move your hips on top of her thighs so she knows you feel the same.

you lightly trace the bridge of her nose with the pad of your finger, running it gently over the top of her lips, letting out a little yelp when she bites it playfully. “hm, okay” you smirk, leaning in for another kiss, leila flipping you over so your back was pressed into the couch.

let’s just say, both of you are grateful for katie riling up your girlfriend.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill ;)

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[kithtaehyung]

and f*ck you, too (m) (teaser) | pjm

title: and f*ck you, too (m) (teaser) pairing: fuckboy assassin!jimin x assassin!reader(f) rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; work rivals!au, assassins!au, enemies with benefits  summary: you despise each other. and yet, you can’t seem to stay away. which is fine, since both of you are completely fine walking the line where it’s drawn. fic warnings: (smut warnings under the cut) language, violence, angst, blood/wounds (reader’s, jimin’s, and others’), cocky!jimin, cold!jimin, baddie!reader >:)), weapons: knives/guns, alcohol/drug mentions, reader has fast cars :))), ties to chairs, chains but who is shocked??, jimin has fast motorcycles🙄, angst, yoongi as a weapons specialist gets his own warning a ha ha, jimin looks too good in tanks, and without a shirt at all, this jimin is a warning in itself, did i mention angst? note: lmfaooooooo this is just assassins getting in each others’ ways with a generous splash of filth and a side of angst :)) WE ARE GETTING A PROPER JIMIN FIC, Y'ALL!! est. word count: 15-20k | teaser wc: 908 est. drop date: oct 2023 18+ taglist: sign up here (i check all blogs)

smut warnings: explicit scenes, biting, bondage (ropes, pillowcase), scratching, angst, slapping, hickies, body worship, piercing play, spit play, orgasm denial, pussy spanking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, face riding, slut/whore mentions, edging, oral (m/f rec), thigh riding, possessive but they won’t admit it</3, choking, angry sex, angst lol, hair/head pulling, protected/unprotected sex, praise kinks galore, easy access, cowgirl, hitting from the back, rough sex, spanking, teasing, creampie, chains (stay on!!!!), multiple orgasms, aftercare when it’s least expected👀 

Glass. 

Bullet casings.

So much broken glass.

As you listen in the scattered silence, you’re careful to skirt around the tiny shards making an ocean out of your villa.

Well. It’s now more of a wreckage than a beautiful seaside vacation home, but nuances mean nothing when you’ve only used it to store an eighth of your arsenal.

And your fucking pink McLaren that’s now face down in the nearest reef.

You are going to end this man. 

“Come out, my love…” 

Fuck him for double-crossing right when you were getting along.

At least, you felt like you were.

Maybe it was just a lapse in judgment, and the last goddamn mistake you’ll ever make around Park Jimin—assassin, playboy, sole occupant of the top of your hit list.

“Your target’s on the run, you know.”

Of course you’re fucking aware. But he won’t trick you a second time.

As soon as he gets a clear shot, he’s taking it.

And despite rivulets of sweat and blood running down your arm and a fresh gash on your upper chest, you are poised to do the exact same.

“Shouldn’t you be following them? Awhh, wait, your ride… What a shame.”

The gritting of your teeth almost gives you away. 

Think.

Based on where you hear Jimin and the layout of your place, he’s somewhere around the foyer. 

And hiding in an open hall next to your kitchen, there’s no way you can get him from where you’re poised.

So wait.

“What to do… Ah! I can call a taxi to pick you up! How does that sound?”

Wait, goddamn it. 

Don’t fall for his shit.

Watch for any dark waves in the debris-riddled floor. Hold off until he’s in a good sight line. 

Fuck, your wounds hurt. 

Hot exhaustion warms your mouth as you wince, blood starting to harden along your slick skin.

“Or you can just let them get away. This would be Chance Zero, though, so. You’d end up getting a geo-bounty on your file… but it’s your decision!”

Breathe.

Geo-bounties aren’t too bad if they’re low. 

Only when they evolve into Global status should you be worried. And that only happens if the Council deems it. 

You’ve stayed on their good side… other than screwing up the missions Park Jimin has ruined. 

“Come on, love.”

He sounds closer.

“Be a good girl.”

A lot closer.

Now you just have to wait until he… rounds the… corner.

…What happened?

Where the fuck did he—

Your body reacts before your mind does, ducking to avoid a strike into hard spackle. 

Twisting, your forearm prevents the next swipe of Jimin’s blade as you retrieve your side dagger, and four boots trample the glass below in a violent dance of combat.

Above below swipe left dodge right parry parry lunge parry.

When you aim at his chest, your gun is quickly shoved, bullet firing into one of the last kitchen cabinets left standing.

And your opponent has the nerve to look appalled.

“You were gonna shoot me?”

All you do is tsk.

Clashes ring out again as you dart forward, and you go for a opening while mapping out how the hell you’re gonna catch up to your target before—

Fucking hell! 

Chilling pain sears across your shoulder from the cut Jimin makes, and you half-stumble, half-crouch to avoid his killing blow. 

Taking the risk and rolling across your favorite broken vase, you slide and fire again, the kickback hurting your arms like a bastard. 

“Fuck!”

Finally.

Through slitted eyes, you can tell you just grazed Jimin’s thigh, and he collapses to a knee while you struggle to stand upright. 

Crinkles of glass echo throughout the hall as you both haphazardly collect yourselves, with him breathing hard and you grunting through stinging pain.

Shit, he’s cursing like you’ve never heard before. 

But you can’t let that distract you from your goal. 

Up first, you aim your weapon just in time to face his expression.

Those wide eyes.

You have the perfect shot.

And yet…

You hesitate.

Time bends as you vascillate between decisions, your moral compass going haywire and refusing to align with any direction. Electricity fizzes and pops while another patch of your ceiling falls, but neither of you move.

Spare him. End it. Kiss him. Finish the kill.

Your heart squeezes the trigger.

And you fire at the light fixture above him before fast limping out to your garage. 

Curses ring in the falling shards while you make your getaway, fingerpainting the walls with swift red strokes.

Get there get there get there. 

Jimin won’t be far behind.

Ripping open the back door, you grit through the pain while swinging a heavy hand onto a glowing pad. 

After the blooming beeps, you swipe in a password before hitting Floor, and find ponderous support on the door while you wait.

Breathe. Breathe. Holy shit, everything hurts. Breathe.

At your feet, the solid garage foundation slides open to reveal a car rising on a platform. 

The other McLaren that Jimin didn’t launch off the nearest cliff.

Lamenting the leather interior already, you drag yourself to the drivers side with a series of groans, swiping a roll of wrappings and a couple gun magazines from a counter along the way. 

Run run run.

He’s probably right behind.

In seconds, you’re zooming out of the driveway.  

And with a bruised as fuck heart, you blast holes in Jimin’s motorcycle wheels for good measure.

-

-

tbc. :)

-

what do we think bc i already wanna fight this man lol | join the taglist!

a/n: thank you all for reading! if you did enjoy, please interact however you can! even a like is okay at this point, but all tags, reblogs, comments, and messages are super super appreciated :D see you at the droppppp hehehe ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ writing updates board

#here we gooo! #bts fic #bts imagines #bts reactions #jimin fic #jimin x you #jimin x reader #pjm fic #in which both parties are stupid and attractive and despise one another lol #bts smut #bts angst #jimin angst #jimin smut #ryenwrites #*latest #*ryenfictalk #*teasers

[samkerrworshipper]

Medication - Leah Williamson

fluff, little bit of angst, anxiety attacks, mentions of depression, 3500 words

balled my eyes out to black fridays by tom odell and then this was birthed.

blurb:

your a rookie on the lionesses squad, who suffers from anxiety and when you stop taking your meds after learning you are starting a game in the euros everything goes downhill for you.

i am so sorry for how vague this was lol i’m writing this and publishing at 2:30 in the morning

I’d never liked gamedays. Everything felt different, all the feelings and emotions heightened. The pressure was insurmountable, especially when you are playing for your nation. Especially when you are one of the youngest, one of the least experienced, one of the youngsters. Today, we were playing Norway, my first game as a Lioness where I was a part of the starting line-up. It was a must win game, the stakes were high for us to win these Euro’s, especially considering it was a home euro’s for us. If we wanted to progress to the finals we couldn’t lose, the pressure was on.

I’d understood that as soon as I’d been notified that I was to start the match, understood that everything changed as soon as you were actually on the pitch. Our one point win over Austria had been great, but we were all hungrier for more, hungrier for the points that we needed to get us ahead in the competition. Sarina knew that there was an expectation for us to win, we all knew that.

I’d been feeling it all week, feeling the anxiety thrumming through my veins as we practised and went about our normal routine for the week. Something was different, it was my first year as a senior Lioness and I’d never been named as a starter. That was a big deal, a really big deal. That was all I could think about. What if I fucked it up? What if I messed up and they told me that I wasn’t going to be welcome back. What if Sarina saw me on the pitch and thought that I was worthless, useless, bad. That was all I could think about as we were standing in the tunnel getting ready to walk out. I was sandwiched in between Lucy and Beth. My hands shaking in my pockets and my breath quickening subconsciously. If I wasn’t aware of it then apparently the defender behind me was, because just as we were about to walk out I felt one of her hands fall to my shoulder, pulling me back into her just enough for her to be able to press her mouth to my ear and whisper,

“You’ve got this amore, you’re going to do perfectly fine,” Lucy’s voice was so strong, but so comforting. She was like an older sister to me, and had been since my first day at training camp. She had been the first person to believe in me besides my Arsenal teammates, the first person to really advocate for my future. She was also the first person on the Lionesses team besides Leah to learn about my struggles with anxiety, adhd and depression. She’d been a light in my life, texted me to make sure I was keeping up with my medication, or just to check in.

In the wake of the Euro’s I’d stopped taking my anxiety meds. I took Lorazepam, which worked really well for me, but it also tended to make me really drowsy and fatigued. Things that are not ideal when you are training and playing almost everyday for your country. It had positive effects, I definitely found it a lot easier to train and play my hardest, but there were a lot of negatives. Like how I was feeling right now. Like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, my hands getting clammy with sweat and shaking non stop like I’d just shot up on steroids. The sound of the crowd at Brighton didn’t help either as we walked out onto the pitch. I struggled to get through the national anthem and the pre game pleasantries, my chest and body hurting from the anxiety that was building up inside of my body.

I was grateful but also not to step out on the pitch properly. It felt like I was on a different planet, my senses overly heightened and my brain short circuiting almost everything.

I could feel Leah’s gaze on me as we all lined up to start the game, she worried about me, a lot. I was also her Arsenal teammate and she’d taken me under her wing beyond football, we’d become very close in our time spent together. I ignored her sidewards glances though, tasking myself with showing our nation that I deserved to be where I was and some jitters weren’t going to affect that.

My first half was rocky, normally with the mixture of adrenaline and endorphins my anxiety subsided when I started playing but this time I must have been too far gone, too much pent up anxiety built up for it to just fade away. It reflected in how I was playing, but our forwards had been flawless, slotting in six goals which put us in a lead that was pretty much untouchable. Clambering into the rooms at halftime was a charade. Everyone besides myself seemed ecstatic and hyped about our lead, I was on the inside but I was also wrapped up in my own bubble. I took a seat on the floor of the change rooms, taking in Serena’s speech about keeping our heads and just continuing what we were doing. I allowed Lucy to pass me a drink bottle, obliging her request for me to hydrate myself. She could tell something was up, she’d been hovering around me on the pitch, covering me. When one of the Norwegian girls had taken my feet out from under me she had immediately been at my side, pulling me up and then yelling at the umpire about how it had clearly been a foul if not a yellow. Leah had to pull her away just to ensure Lucy wouldn’t get carded herself, all whilst I stood there absolutely helpless as result of the amount of effort I was having to put into not collapsing from the amount of pain in my chest.

Leah kept it pretty brief after Serena, sticking to what she’d said and putting an emphasis on a few things before we headed back out. She managed to snag a grip on my jersey though as I trailed with the girls at the back of the group.

“Are you okay?” There was a little bit of captain in it, but it was mostly gentle, her voice a little bit rugged from the amount of yelling she’d done on the field.

“I’m fine.” Her facial expression was enough to tell me she didn’t believe a word I was saying.

“I’m telling Serena to sub you off, you clearly don’t look well enough to be playing.”

“I told you I feel fine Cap, I can play out the rest of the 90, please let me play it out.”

Leah looked conflicted, conflicted with what to do and how to react to my plea. I wasn’t one who begged very often, I didn’t see the point in it.

“Fine but y/n, as soon as anything happens out there, you put yourself in danger or someone else in danger you are going off, understood?”

I didn’t have any other option but to nod at Leah.

“Yes, captain.”

My voice had held some sarcasm as I tore her hand from the bottom of my jersey and started jogging back up the tunnel to catch up with girls that I’d previously been chatting to.

The last ten minutes of the second half was when bad transitioned to really not good. My body began to catch up with my over exertion and every second on the field became a battle. It was a blessing that the ball wasn’t really travelling down my end, Less and Toony had both been substituted in and were having a field day in our forward half kicking it back and forth to run the clock down. The Norwegian girls were giving it their best but you could tell they knew it was over. As the minutes passed though and we went into extra time I could feel my body really starting to get heavier, you could blame it on the lack of hydration and the english heat that we were playing in but I knew it was my body betraying me. I’d been denying my body for too long and it was catching up with me. I didn’t even know how many minutes of extra time we had, my vision was slowly blurring, my steps becoming wobbly and the pain in my chest becoming overbearing.

I could hear my opponent, I think it was Maren, or was it Guro? Asking me if I felt alright. I didn’t really comprehend it though, I couldn’t hear anything properly, it felt like I was underwater, my ears ringing out and my vision blacking over as I fell face first into the turf. Maren managed to catch me before I fully face planted into the grass, helping my limp form down to the ground before starting to yell out for help. It was then of course that the whistles blew and the match ended. I could make out the sounds of the crowd going nuts, maybe even my teammates on the sidelines yelling in triumph. I couldn’t open my eyes though and I definitely couldn’t make out the voice of Maren on the ground beside me trying to ask me questions and attract the attention of a medic. It was all mellowed out as my body succumbed to a coma like state that I’d forced myself into.

Leah and Lucy were the first two from my own team to locate me, passed out on the ground with Maren trying to provide as much privacy for me as possible whilst also pressing her hand to my throat to make sure that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. It was Maren, Guro had been subbed off at the 84’ minute mark. I remembered that because I’d silently been wishing at the time that Serena would do the same, but she’d made her final changes and taking me off apparently hadn't been one of them.

“Y/n, can you open your eyes for me? Or squeeze my hand?”

I could feel Leah’s own hand fall into mine and I squeezed it as best as I could, it was enough for me to tell her that I was conscious enough to make out what she was saying to me.

“Good y/n/n, the medics are about to be here, can you try and open your eyes and talk for me?”

I tried my hardest to crack my eyes open, when I did finally muster up the will to open one of them I was met with the brightness of the stadium lights. I groaned almost immediately, being forced to take in my surroundings. I was surrounded by our trainers, who were draping different towels over my body in an attempt to cool me down and cover me. My cleats had been removed from my feet and someone was soaking my socks in cold water, something that I was not pleased to be awakened by.

“Good sweetheart, stay focused on me yeah, eyes on me.”

My eyes snapped back up to Leah, who was crouched above my head, Serena and Lucy’s heads were beside her own, staring down at me.

“The medics are going to come look at you and you are going to let them, okay?”

I almost immediately shook my head at Leah but she kept her jaw clenched and her stern face up.

“I’m not asking y/n, you just passed out on the field, you need to be assessed.”

I shook my head again and Leah rolled her eyes at me.

“An-n-xiety.”

I could hardly make out my own words in the stadium full of noise and the words themselves made me realise how much I was struggling to regulate my own breaths.

Leah nodded knowingly, suddenly everything seemed to come into perspective for her.

“You stopped taking your medication, didn’t you?”

I gulped and nodded at her, trying to block out all of the distractions that were happening around me. She looked annoyed at me, I cowered a little bit with the glare that she was giving me. After the last time I went on a sabbatical from my medication I swore to Leah I would never do it again.

As the medics crouched down next to me I shut my eyes again, it all becoming too much for my head. I let the medics fuss over me, I blacked out somewhere in between them putting me on a stretcher and getting me off the pitch.

I reawakened with sweat dripping down my body, all of the oxygen depleting from my body and my chest aching like it never had before. I choked a little bit as I sat up from my spot, gasping for air to enter my lungs. It took me a few seconds to recognise where I was, sitting inside the makeshift medical room at Brighton. My head was pounding and my whole body was aching.

“Y/n, look at me, you're having an anxiety attack, deep breaths.”

“Wh-what.” The words came out in a gasp as I struggled to take in any air, looking at Leah for guidance.

“We’re at Brighton, we just played Norway, you had an anxiety episode on the pitch. You’re having an attack right now, I need you to take deep breaths, follow me, in and out.”

I watched Leah as she exaggerated some deep breaths, if it hadn't been for the circumstance I probably would have laughed at her.

As I slowly started to take in more air she tried a different tactic.

“Good y/n/n, your doing so well my good girl. Can you tell me five things you can see?”

It was deflection, something that Leah had picked up on from her therapist.

“Serena, you, the light, Lucy and a drink bottle.”

Leah nodded at me encouragingly, rubbing slowly up my back as she continued.

“Good, you’re doing so well, how about four things you can feel?”

“Your breath, the scratchy blanket, my wet socks and I don’t know.”

My words were still choken as I used up whatever oxygen I was taking in to get the words out.

“That’s okay, that’s good, you are doing so well for me angel, how about three things you can hear?”

I tried to focus fully on Leah, on her words, her rubbing my back, her breath against my neck.

“Serena tapping her shoe, the heart monitor and the music from the changeroom.”

It was faint but if you focused in enough you could just hear the sound of my teammates in the change rooms, getting up to god knows that with the absence of their captain and manager.

“Perfect, you are doing absolutely perfectly. How about two things you can smell?”

“Antiseptic and your perfume.”

“Good, last one, one thing you can taste.”

I could feel my breath and body evening itself out, it felt like I was a piece of linen that was slowly but surely being ironed out, all of the crinkles and creases leaving my body.

“I don’t know.”

“Last one y/n, I know you can do it.”

“Metal, the iron taste from blood.”

Leah nodded at me, plastering a kiss on my forehead. Her words and actions being enough to bring me back down to earth fully. I very slowly took in my surroundings properly, Serena, Lucy and Keira were all sitting at the end of my bed, watching as Leah did her thing. I was hooked up to a few different things, cords and wires poking out of my extremities. A saline drip, heart monitor and another machine that I wasn’t sure the purpose of.

“Hey my girl, you back here with us now?”

I pushed my head into Leah’s chest, trying to hide from the world that I was now a participating member of.

“No hiding, not here,”

I groaned as Leah pushed me out of her chest, annoyed by the loss of contact and the confrontation of having to be put in front of some of the people I respected most.

“You gave us a fright back there, I think you came close to killing Maren.”

I gulped nervously, hanging onto every word that left Serena’s mouth, just bobbing my head in agreement because what else was I supposed to do.

“M’ sorry, didn’t mean to, just wanted to prove that I deserved to be here.”

Serena’s face held a kind of understanding, like she’d seen girls before me who had been the same, willing to die to prove their worth to the dutchwoman who we all regarded so highly.

“You wouldn’t be here in the first place if you didn’t deserve to be. It’s one thing to push yourself but to the point where you black out on the field is another thing. If it ever happens again y/n y/l/n then I can swear to you now that you will be benched, am I understood.” I nodded meekly at Serena,

“Yes ma’am.”

She nodded at me, she’d gotten her point across.

“Leah tells me this happened as a result of you not taking your medication?”

I pushed my head back into Leah’s chest, grunting at her when she pushed me out of it. I couldn’t do much else but nod at Serena.

“I get side effects ma’am, it makes me drowsy and sleepy, I didn’t want it to affect my game.”

Serena was very quick to fire back at me,

“You take medication to ensure that you feel well, there is no shame in that. If you are having a problem with side effects then you are to bring it up with one of our doctors, not boycott your medication entirely. From now on I am going to be responsible for your medication, you will come to me everyday to take it so I can ensure that you are receiving the correct doses so something like this does not occur again, is that understood?”

I gulped and nodded at Serena. She smiled at me knowingly in return.

“You are an elite athlete y/n, it is imperative that you care for your body. Or something like this happens, something with such magnitude that it can’t be overlooked. Your health and wellbeing comes first, always.”

I nodded at Serena once again, allowing her to give me a hug before leaving the room to give us some privacy. As soon as the door closed behind her I shed a few tears, I hated confrontation, it was one of my biggest fears.

“She’s right y’know, this could have been a lot worse, what if you’d put yourself in a really dangerous position because you were in a bad headspace and ended up seriously injured, you can’t just stop taking your medication randomly y/n, it’s not safe.”

Leah’s voice was murmured against my forehead, her lips staying plastered to the oily and cold skin.

“No one else on the team relies on medication to function, I thought I would be fine, I feel so stupid always being the one having to rely on shit to get through the day.”

I could feel Leah rolling her eyes from above me.

“No one else on the team struggles with intense anxiety and depression like you do, we are all different, we all function differently. There is no shame in needing medication y/n/n, Lucy uses an asthma puffer, does that make her stupid?”

I looked over at Lucy, it was different.

“No but it’s different.”

“How?”

Leah’s answer was fired back at me and I struggled slightly to recover from her sudden reply,

“Lucy has a physical problem, mine’s just in my head.”

“What you went through today seemed pretty physical to me.”

I was stumped by that answer, looking across at Kiera and Lucy who nodded along with what Leah was saying.

“You struggle with your mental health, there is no shame in that. You rely on medication. So what? Good for you for listening to your body and acknowledging that you need that to help you make it through the day. Y/n, there is absolutely nothing wrong with using medication to help you. If I felt sick, with the flu, and I needed antibiotics or whatever, would you think that I was weak for using them?”

I shook my head at Leah almost immediately, the question was a no brainer for me,

“Exactly, because I’d be taking the medication needed to keep me well and functioning. All you are doing is the same thing y/n, keeping yourself alive and well.”

#leah williamson #lionesses #woso #leah williamson x reader #serena wiegman #lucy bronze #fluff #anxiety attacks #medication #angst #i love leah williamson #golden retriever leah vibes #supportive moms #england lionesses x reader #lionesses x reader

[pers1st]

you open yours

pt 2 of when every door closes

pairing: leah williamson x reader

notes: mentions of ed, j*rge vilda, lots of angst

Settling into Arsenal again was difficult, but it couldn’t have been more difficult than leaving, once more, for international break. The World Cup qualifiers were coming up quickly, and despite the fact that it felt as though you still hadn’t dealt with your early out in the Euros, there was no time to dwell on the past as Jorge Vilda made sure every player knew the gravity of the next few matches. With more and more players from Barcelona filling into the squad, you were subconsciously worried for your position. It was no secret that Barça was dominating European football, but somehow, for the qualifiers, you kept your head and spent every last second of every match on the pitch, even when the physios concluded you were very close to tearing your hamstring, much to the dismay of your teammates. It wasn’t that they didn’t want you to play- you had quickly proven to be a valuable part of the team, not quite the brick wall Mapi was, but an agile defender that solidified every win with perfectly-timed tackles and a good oversight of the play.

It was rather the fact that you so desperately needed a break, and everyone saw it but you. Every step you took on the pitch hurt, and if it wasn’t for María telling you to cut back on the painkillers, you possibly wouldn’t have even noticed if you’d torn your hamstring fully. You had, in addition, settled back into your club well enough to rely on nutritional energy yet again, with the help of your girlfriend, your teammates and the club’s psychologist, but all of that went to waste the second you saw Jorge Vilda before boarding the bus towards the team’s camp.

You weren’t done yet- Leah had told you as much after the Euros. You weren’t where you wanted to be, not with the Spanish national team, at least. A World Cup was the least you could achieve to compensate for everything you were going through, but during the camp, you and many other girls realized that there was a lot more you should, or well, a lot more you had to reach for.

So, to you, it wasn’t surprising when you came home with an open letter to the RFEF and a vision of how maybe, one day, playing for your country wouldn’t be your nightmare.

“Are you sure, love? I mean, aren't there like, really bad consequences?”, Leah asked confusedly, her hands around yours as you sat on the couch, you still wearing the same sweats you had worn on the plane.

You nodded, wandering back to the monologue Mapi had held about all of the possible outcomes of what you were about to do. Her voice had been hushed as she explained the ban you could face, which would affect all of your teammates, except Ona and Lucía, more than you. Not playing in the Spanish league wouldn’t hurt you as much, so long as Arsenal stayed your home, which you intended it to. Not playing for the Spanish national team- well, you trusted Alexia when she said that no one would face a ban, and you didn’t particularly want to think about what would happen if she was wrong. You were possibly throwing your national career away, and your stomach turned at the thought. But either way, you knew that playing in the environment that had been created recently, you would rot away anyways.

“I don’t know. Maybe. But what can be worse than this?”, you chuckled bitterly. Knowing well how dangerous it had been, truthfully, to play all those minutes, you knew that you would stay on the bench for a significant amount of time to recover, but you also knew that no matter what you, or your hamstring did, you would be called up for the next camp.

You couldn’t risk your career, not while you were this young. And if everything went according to Irene’s, Mapi’s and Alexia’s plan, you wouldn’t have to.

“If you’re sure, I am, too. And no matter what happens, I will support you. You know that, right?”, Leah asked, almost desperate to reassure you, but all you could do was nod absent-mindedly.

You were different, this time. Different from how you’d been after the Euros, but your girlfriend didn’t dare to ask what had happened for you to be this- reserved, almost. As if you still didn’t dare to speak, guarding your tongue harshly as if your manager was just around the corner, ready to jump at you for whatever it was you couldn’t say.

The night you spent tossing and turning didn't guarantee much sleep, but you were still surprised that your absence had woken Leah up, as she slung her arms around your shoulders slowly in her dark flat, the only light illuminating the kitchen from the little nightlight near the coffee pot. 

“Come back to bed”, your girlfriend mumbled, voice still thick with sleep, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Your stomach warmed slightly at the gesture, but you were too encapsulated in your phone to really react to her presence, not letting her pull you back into false comfort. Nothing of what was about to happen, in merely four hours, would be comfortable. 

“Can’t sleep”, you gave back, your fingers tapping away on your screen as you replied to Ona’s message, who seemed to sleep as little as you did.

You knew that Leah didn’t know Spanish, and you knew that she was still staring at your screen, noticing how your phone lit up once more with a text that even you could barely detangle. Taking a deep breath, you clicked the call button right next to Ona’s contact, barely noticing how Leah detached herself from you to start a pot of coffee.

Ona’s words were messy, and you were barely able to understand anything besides the gut-wrenching fear that filled your apartment, all of a sudden. Her Catalonian accent was thick, and you knew that her emotion was taking over her, more so than it was affecting you. You had, sort of, gone numb.

“Ona, va a estar bien. No te preocupes”, you tried to calm your friend, who you could tell was biting back tears.

“Ale said it’ll be okay. Do you trust her?”, you asked as you didn’t receive an answer.

“Sí”, Ona mumbled, to which you nodded, forgetting the fact that she couldn’t see you.

“Then it’ll be okay. What are they going to do? Ban sixteen of their best players?”

“No sé. Maybe they are going to ban just me”, she huffed.

“No, Ona. That won’t happen”, you calmed her yet again, and stupidly enough, you actually believed yourself. 

The open letter went online while you were at training, which you were quite grateful for. None of your teammates had a clue, except for Leah, of what was about to happen, although they could all tell something needed to happen.

In the short twelve days the team hadn’t seen each other, you had lost a noticeable amount of weight, and hadn’t touched your breakfast, blaming your lack of appetite on the lack of sleep you had gotten. You stuck to Leah’s side like glue, more so than you usually did. And by the time the team was ready to step onto the field for the first training session of the year, you mumbled an excuse to leave the changing room into the wrong direction, and headed to the physio room without looking back.

After sending Jonas a text in the early morning, somewhere between your phone call with Ona and Leah dragging you back into bed, the physios were very well aware of your hamstring issue, and spent a lot of time analyzing your muscles and how bad exactly your injury was. It seemed as though it was quite bad, as most of the treatment was silent, and none of the physios reacted to how you flinched every time any of them even reached out to touch you, but you hoped they wrote it off as a mere reaction of you being in pain. You didn’t know if they could handle the truth. Didn’t know if you could handle the truth. 

Still, the events of the day couldn’t take your mind off the fact that your phone was likely exploding with notifications as the public and the RFEF reacted to your protest. Sixteen players were withdrawing. Sixteen. You didn’t believe Alexia, although she had promised there would be no serious, no negative

consequences.

And you were right not to do so.

Leah picked you up from the medical room, in which you remained long after the treatment, scrolling through twitter and multiple Spanish news outlets in hopes to absorb every single comment, every single word in reaction to your letter. 

“Hey, you”, she smiled softly as she found you lying on the bench, phone in your hands as it always seemed to be, allowing for it to drop onto your chest as you smiled back at her.

“Hey”, you mumbled back.

“How bad is it?”, she asked, and you didn’t know whether it was her calf or everything else she was responding to.

“Grade two tear. Eight weeks, at least. They don’t want to risk anything.”

The fact that your hamstring actually was a grade two tear should’ve surprised you more than it had, but at this point, you didn’t put it past the Spanish medical team to actually hide the information of your injury from you. You didn’t put it past Jorge to let you play on an injury that potentially worsened with every step you took.

“I’m sorry, love”, Leah sighed, gently moving closer to you.

“It’s okay. Home?”, you asked, hesitant to accept any kind of gentleness from your girlfriend. At this point, you weren’t sure whether you deserved it or not. That’s how far Jorge had gotten into your head.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go”, Leah smiled as she stuck out her hand for you to take, and you reluctantly accepted it, the warmth being unfamiliar to you.

It took a few days for the RFEF to formally respond to your protest, and in the meantime, you drove your girlfriend insane. She had no way of reaching you, although she tried her hardest. Holding you as she slept, only for you to slip out of her arms once you knew she was lulled in sleep. Getting up in the morning without you just to find you in the kitchen, drinking coffee and being glued to your phone as you over analyzed every detail that was revealed to the public. By the time Arsenal’s first match after the

international break came around, she was truly at her wit’s end.

“I don’t know what to do anymore. She won’t talk to me, won’t tell me what’s going on, it’s just- I really don’t know”, she tried explaining to Kim, who had, in the past few days, begun catching a glimpse of just how bad of a situation you were in. It was clear as day to the whole team that you were struggling again, but the others quickly grew used to your reserved nature, though it was so unlike you.

“What can we do to help?”, Wally asked, gently crouching down in front of your girlfriend and rubbing a circle over her knee comfortingly, her face as somber as Kim’s.

“I don’t know. I tried giving her space, but I’m not really sure it’s helping. It’s like she’s just drifting away”, Leah cried, gently wiping a tear from her cheek. She needed to be strong, now. For you. Crying would be no use.

“She’ll come back to you. Wait for the RFEF’s response, and see how she is afterwards. Maybe she just needs to reach a breaking point”, Kim tried to reassure her vice-captain, but the only reason Leah nodded was because she didn’t have a better idea, although she didn’t like the idea of waiting for you to crumble completely and being there to pick up the broken pieces. It proved, though, that this was exactly what you needed.

The official response of the RFEF came while you were sitting in the cafeteria, slowly picking apart the food Leah had gotten for you as an ice-wrap around your thigh forbade you from walking too much. Your phone lit up with a message from Alexia, and at once, you dropped your fork, instead focusing on the little device in front of you.

¿Has visto?

No, you hadn’t seen. Not yet, anyways, but at the notification, you reached for your phone, quickly opening the internet to search for an article reporting on the matter. It didn’t take long to find, and your stomach turned at the sight your eyes met.

El futbolista Y/N Y/L/N le prohíbe jugar al fútbol por España.

Your breath caught in your throat as you read the words over and over again, your vision blurring until the letters tumbled in front of your eyes, spinning in circles as you drowned out the world around you. You weren’t aware of how Leah, Kim and Wally were glancing up at you, didn’t register how Leah’s hand

caressed your knee as she noticed your breath quickening, didn’t hear the words of your teammates surrounding you, asking what was going on, as you kept skimming the article, desperate to know more.

You were the only player out of the sixteen to be banned. It was because you had just begun playing, had been cared for during your injury and were disrespecting your country for diminishing their efforts. If you’d had any air to, you would’ve laughed. But you didn’t have any. Leah’s eyebrows furrowed as she caught a glimpse of your screen, moments before you rose from your seat, clenching your teeth in pain as you got up and left the cafeteria, leaving behind a group of confused women, none of whom dared to find you, right now. None except for Leah. She was on her feet within seconds, calling after you to slow down as she could barely keep up with your strides. You didn’t care about the fact that you bumped into Jonas, almost making him tumble over as you were focused on your phone, didn’t hear how he called after you, didn’t hear how he called after Leah. You simply kept walking and walking until you found the media room, which you knew would be empty right now, and slipped through the door, letting yourself slide down the wall.

“Love? Hey, talk to me! What’s going on?”, your girlfriend’s voice rang through from what felt like a thousand miles away. You felt as though you were under water, waves washing over you and trapping you in your head. You couldn’t answer, couldn’t force any words out of your mouth as you, instead, choked on a sob.

Within seconds, you felt arms around you, pulling you into your girlfriend’s chest as you sobbed, struggling to breathe.

“I’m out. Leah, they banned me”, you cried out, gripping fists of her shirt as you desperately tried to fight the way your head seemed to spin. 

Leah’s soothing words fell on deaf ears as the noise around you was quickly becoming far too much, and you fell into your own little word, sobbing into her shoulder as she held you tightly. It felt like hours until you calmed down, but slowly, your breaths began to even and as you drew away from your girlfriend, your lips twitched upwards at the realization that she was still there.

“Hey, baby. You’re back with me?”

You nodded at that, slowly letting go of her shirt as you leaned your head back against the wall. It was pounding, as though knives were flying through your scalp, but you didn’t have the energy to complain.

“This isn’t forever, love. We’re gonna keep pressuring them, Alexia is gonna keep pressuring them, and one day they’ll fire Vilda and you’ll be back. Okay? I promise, it’s going to be okay”, she spoke, hands landing on your cheeks as she tugged your face towards hers. 

“And no matter what happens, I’ll be with you, for every step of the way. I won’t leave you, okay?”

“I can’t do this on my own”, you mumbled, the weight of the situation hitting you, though less quickly, more deeply now that you knew you’d need to face it.

“You don’t have to. I’m behind you, and so is everyone else. You don’t have to do anything on your own, my love”, Leah promised, bringing your head into the crook of her neck once again as she closed her arms around your fragile frame.

Leah’s words quickly came true, as you realized that each and every one of your teammates, whether it was from Arsenal or Spain, voiced their support for you. Whether it was Jonas in a press conference, Alexia via an Instagram post or Ona via countless text messages and insisting on coming to London to see you. Slowly but surely, you recovered from your injury and found your footing again, suddenly enjoying the time you got to spend with your or Leah’s family whenever she was gone for international duty. The World Cup was a totally different story, as you flew to Australia with Leah to watch every one of the Lionesses matches, but none of your own nation. You skipped the final as well, not able to let yourself daydream about being on the pitch again. Though you were happy for Ona, Alexia and your other friends, you couldn’t help the anxiety over the fact that Spain was just as good of a team without you, Mapi, Pina and Patri.

And although you were still anxious, you reluctantly accepted when the RFEF lifted their ban after Jorge’s sacking, proposing for you to wear your nation’s colors another time. 

#leah williamson oneshot #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal #lionesses #lionesses x reader #woso community #woso #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso fanfics

[so-so-woso]

i wanna be the one | part 1

Edit: Changed title. Thanks to Dru for the suggestion. From the song "Things We Never Say" by the Bad Bad Hats. Great song, potentially relevant maybe who knows.

Summary: Reader is an English-American GK who joins the Arsenal squad and ends up in an interesting back and forth with Leah Williamson. This chapter is mainly set-up for the future. The vibes will probably be very different going forward lol

Warnings: Angst, swallowing self-doubt, and mentions of parental death in the first section.

Word Count: 3,284

London felt just like Seattle. You were expecting it to feel different, more European (whatever that meant), but when you stepped out of the airport and that familiar January rain hit your skin, it was a welcome feeling. It wasn’t quite Home – you hadn’t had one of those in a long time – but it was definitely welcoming, and nice enough that you didn’t bother with an umbrella. It would’ve been hard enough trying to carry one along with all your bags anyway, although by the look on your driver’s face he really wished you had at least tried. It was nice that the team had sent a car to meet you, especially since you didn’t really know anyone here that well, but you supposed they would do that for any new signing. The driver helped you get your bags into the car and then you were off to the club to dot some Is and cross some Ts to make everything truly official.

Wistful thoughts crept into the back of your mind as you were chauffeured through the streets of London, and you decided for the first time in a long time not to fight them. Not here, anyway – not now. Not after everything it took to get you here. Get you here again, technically. You were born in London after all, and raised in Sheffield where your mother had grown up. Your father was an American, from Dallas, who came to England for graduate school and stayed for the woman he fell in love with. He often teased her about “real (American) football” but she converted him to Sheffield United fan, though he would never admit it – at least not until you were born. Match days became a family event as soon as you could stand up on your own, even though you were still too young to really remember anything at that point, but by the time you could run you wanted nothing more than to play. You were always bigger than the other kids so they made you play with the boys, but you knew a lot of the women’s national team players had played on boys’ teams growing up, so you didn’t mind it. You were never upset about that, but you were upset when they made you move to the goalkeeper position when you were eight. It was the boring position and you never got to do anything, but you were the only kid on the team who didn’t seem scared of the ball when it came flying at you, so the job fell to you. Many years later, it would prove to be the right choice, but for a while you thought it felt like a punishment from the universe. Then you found out what that kind of punishment actually felt like.

You were only eleven when your parents died. It was a car accident; your mom was driving. She took the brunt of it and was gone by the time the ambulance arrived. Your dad was in the hospital for two days, but he never woke up. You had been in the back seat. Heavy bruising, a busted ribs, broken collarbone, and a big gash across the side of the head was it for you. You were in the hospital too, for a while. Your paternal grandmother came all the way from Austin to pick you up and take you to live with her. Your mom’s parents had been gone for a while now, and GiGi – what you had called your father’s mother – was all you had left. You had only met her a few times before, but you didn’t really have another option, so across the pond you went.

It would be a massive understatement to say that Texas was different from Sheffield. It was truly a whole different world, but kids are resilient enough. You were famous for a while, because of your accent, and then you were weird for a while, because of your accent, and then eventually you became just one of the kids. Your GiGi was supportive as well, more than you had expected her to be. You didn’t know much of the specifics as a kid, but you knew she and your father had had some sort of falling out and weren’t as close as they had been when he was younger. You always thought it had to do with him choosing to stay in England rather than come home to America. When you got older it seemed like maybe there was more to it than that, but GiGi wouldn’t talk about it. She did help you get into therapy, so that you could learn how to process what had happened and all the big changes that came with it. You didn’t like it at the time, but in hindsight it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She even started trying to learn about football – soccer – too, because she knew you liked it, and she made sure to sign you up for the local league. You think maybe that time doesn’t heal wounds, but it sort of scabs them over enough that they only hurt when you pick at them, so eventually you learn to stop picking at them, and after that life became kind of normal.

You eventually played soccer in high school – goalkeeper, naturally – and were good enough to get recruited to the University of Texas. From there, the NWSL draft sent you to Seattle for the OL Reign. You spent a season as the third-string goalkeeper, then a season as the second-string, and then were presented with an opportunity you couldn’t dare turn down. It had been Kim Little’s idea, apparently. She had only played with you in Seattle for a month or so, and you never really hung out, but she knew you had grown up in England and that you had really wanted the chance to play football in Europe. She would tell you later that she was impressed with your resilience, something you had heard often growing up, and that you had a “dead brilliant reaction speed” which you guessed sounded good. So when Arsenal’s back-up goalkeeper transferred out and they were weighing their options, she suggested they give you a look. She had said it offhandedly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you would wager she fought harder for you than she let on. You had only played a handful of games in two seasons, and while you were admittedly good, the offer from the English club still came as a massive surprise. They were up front and adamant about your status as a pure back-up to Zinsberger, and while you would’ve had a decent chance to win the starting spot in Seattle, you just couldn’t say no to European football, to England, to the Arsenal.

That’s how you ended up in the back of a dark car being driven through the streets of north London in the pouring rain. Your fingers fiddled absently at the chain around your neck and the two golden bands that hung from it while you considered everything that led you here, hoping that you made the right choice. Only time would tell, you thought, as the car squealed to a slow stop. You hesitated for a long moment before tucking the necklace under your shirt and moving to exit the vehicle. The driver met you at the car door, an umbrella extended overhead. You were taller than him, so you had to awkwardly bend your neck as he moved to close the door behind you.

“This shouldn’t take long,” he said, “Then we’ll get you home.” You thanked him and stuffed your fists in the pockets of your coat as you followed him up to the club, your stomach slowly rising higher and higher into your throat as the series of decisions you had recently made began to congeal rather quickly into a hard reality. It was some grotesque mix of nerves and excitement and fear that just fully slapped you in the face when you stepped inside the building. You hadn’t felt like this in Seattle, or on the plane, or in the car, but now that you were here, physically, it’s like everything else was physical too. It wasn’t some amorphous Choice floating in the metaphorical ether of your life; it was a foreboding Presence leering down at you, clawing at your shoulders from behind, and whispering ‘you don’t deserve this’ into your psyche. Nausea began to swell up, to the point you were just starting to feel dizzy. Out of instinct you reached forward and put your hand on the driver’s shoulder, who stopped walking to turn and see what you needed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a distinctly Scottish, “Oh ‘ey, Tex!” behind you.

You both turned to see Kim Little striding down the hallway, followed closely by Jonas and one of the other coaches. You swallowed hard, all the torturous feelings slowly fading away as you saw a familiar face. “Hey, Little Kim, “ you retorted. She scoffed and faked a jab towards your ribs before she reached up to hug you.

“Welcome to the party,” she said, stepping back to introduce the coaches, who shook your hands. They welcomed you as well and explained that the evening would be brief, they were sure you’d be tired from the flight, but just needed to finalize some things on the business side and then Kim would give a tour of the facilities. You thanked them, probably too many times, and went with them all to finish your paperwork and pick up your official training gear. Your kit wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow since they’d have to put your name on and weren’t sure what number you wanted (you picked 18 because it was available and made sense for a goalkeeper). Kim showed you around, asked about the flight, and made you feel as welcome as she thought she could. It was nice to talk to someone for a while. You weren’t exactly an extrovert, but you were Southern enough you enjoyed being around people, and being able to talk to Kim, even if it was more or less small talk, made you feel better, and by the time the tour was done all of the earlier feelings were forgotten. You started to think that maybe this whole thing was a good idea after all.

“So no rest for the weary – first training tomorrow, yeah? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Since you won’t have a car, Uber’s always an option, but until you get sorted, you can get rides with me,” Kim said.

“Sounds good. Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m picking you up extra early tomorrow – the girls’ll want to meet you before kickin’ balls at your head.”

“Well, I guess that’s only polite.”

You both laughed and hugged goodbye before heading your separate ways, you pulling out your phone to look up your new address to send it to Kim. This was a good decision, you thought, this was a good decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your apartment – or flat? – was nicer than you expected it to be. You had done a Zoom tour while you were still in Seattle and it looked fine, but you had tempered your expectations to be safe. Turns out, you didn’t need to. It was a two-bedroom and furnished with the basics, so there was plenty of space for you and plenty room to decorate as you saw fit. You had what was sometimes described as an eclectic taste by your friends, mainly because you liked to decorate with things that made you happy. That seems like an obvious thing to decorate with, but you were kind of – literally – a giant dork, which meant you had a lot of “nerd shit” as your friends would tease. You expected the Arsenal girls would do the same if they ever started coming over, but all of that would be a long time coming. Tonight, all you wanted to do was collapse into bed, which is exactly what you did.

Kim wasn’t lying when she said she’d pick you up early. At least she had the decency to bring you coffee, but she was completely taken aback when you admitted you didn’t really drink coffee and actually preferred tea. “Guess there is some English in you after all,” she had joked as she drove. She asked about your night and how you slept, and pointed out all the important-to-know shops and stops between your apartment and the training center. When you finally arrived, you asked her if she accepted tips for her tour knowledge – to which she responded with “only big bills”. You laughed as you retrieved your bag from the back of her car, and the two of you headed in.

The next few days were an absolute blur. You were introduced to everyone, and they all seemed pretty nice. McCabe kept talking about how tall you were, but from how everyone else acted that was normal. Manu was happy to have another goalkeeper in the squad despite the fact you would both technically be competing for the starting spot, even though you were explicitly hired as a back-up. At least it didn’t seem like there would be any weird hurt feelings or anything there, so you were glad for that. All your other time was spent trying to discern personality types and team dynamics, and also actually training. The coaches had told you they wouldn’t expect you to go full on for the first few days to give you time to acclimate to everything. You thanked them, of course, but that didn’t stop you from diving in head first.

By the time your official day three was over, you wished you had taken it a little easier. It felt like jet lag hit you late, on top of the normal physical tiredness of training. But that evening as the team as the team filtered out of the locker room, Katie McCabe slapped you on the back and said, “Drinks on you tonight, mate!” You turned to look at her, but before you could ask, Kim interrupted with a sharp “Katie–“

“Hold on, hold on! I don’t mean a big to-do, but we gotta welcome the newbie right, right?”

A couple of the other players voiced their agreement and Kim rolled her eyes. “Two drink maximum.”

“Four.”

“Two.”

“Three?”

“Two, McCabe.”

“Two and shots?”

“…”

“Two…and shots?”

“…one shot.”

“Fuck yes, best captain ever! You’re riding with us, Y/N!”

A mix of confusion and amusement spread across your face as you looked between the two of them, and Kim just shook her head and waved at you to go with Katie, so you let yourself be pulled away into whatever the night would bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite telling you that you were paying for drinks, Katie was nice enough to only make you buy the shots, and despite Kim’s hesitance at you all going out mid-week, it was a surprisingly calm evening. You ended up sitting at a table with just a handful of your new teammates. Most of them were joking around with each other, teasing and taunting. You sat quietly, unsure of how inserting yourself into the dynamic would come off. You thought of a few quips throughout the conversations, but made sure to hold your tongue, choosing to sip on your beer instead.

“You always this quiet?”

You glanced over in the direction of the voice, inadvertently locking eyes with Leah Williamson. You knew who she was, obviously – won the Euros and all. What you hadn’t known was that she was even more attractive in person. You didn’t even know that was possible, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise.

“Not usually,” you responded, drawing in a breath. “Just can’t get a word in edgewise with this one goin’ off.”

You gestured towards Katie, who didn’t even register the comment. It did get a chuckle out of Steph and Foord, though, which made you relax a bit. Looking back at Leah, she was still looking at you, but didn’t seem to react otherwise. You paused for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, before deciding to just go for it.

“So in the summer do you ever get a weird tan on your forehead from frowning so much?”

That did draw Katie’s attention; you could tell from the way she practically guffawed.

“Oy, she’s got you dead to fuckin’ rights!” she said, leaning over to elbow at Leah. The Aussies had laughed as well, as did Kim. Leah didn’t look impressed at the remark, but from the twitch of her lips you would swear she was biting back a smile. She had nice lips. Were you staring at her lips? Your eyes flashed back up to hers and she was still looking at you. She would’ve been able to tell where you were staring. That’s…embarrassing. You swallowed hard, and quickly looked away, taking a long swig of your drink. If anyone else at the table noticed the interaction, they didn’t react. Katie started in on you immediately, dragging you into whatever she had been talking about before, and from there you spent the rest of the evening integrating yourself into the team.

The bar was really only starting to fill up when Kim decided it was time for you all to get a move on. There was some light-hearted grumbling, but everyone was professional enough to know how to behave. You had popped into the toilet before leaving, and when you came out of the stall, Leah was washing her hands. You hesitated for a brief moment before moving up to the sink next to her to wash your own hands, the little bit of alcohol you consumed tonight just enough to embolden you.

“Man, Williamson, what kind of a world is this where you’ve got those legs and no rhythm,” you teased, quickly busying yourself with the most thorough hand-wash you’ve ever done so you didn’t have to look over at her and see how poorly she took the remark.

“You spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”

You froze. It would seem she didn’t take it too poorly at all. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you turned off the sink and turned to look at her. She was staring at you again. Seemed like maybe she did that a lot.

“Yeah, maybe,” you finally said. She hmmed a bit and cocked her head to the side. The glint in her eye was the only thing that kept you from worrying you were being too forward, and you silently prayed it wasn’t a trick of the fluorescent lighting overhead.

“You think you’re being all charming, with your little jokes?”

“No, not really,” you shrugged. “I think I have the personality of a 14-year-old boy and it’s the only way I know how to flirt with you.”

Leah changed at that. Her posture shifted. Her shoulders dropped slightly. The glint in her eye was gone. You fucked up, you thought. You’ve been here for four days and you already fucked up.

You moved to apologize at the same time Leah moved to respond, but both of you were interrupted by the door to the bathroom slamming open and a group of girls rushing in. You turned around and pushed yourself up against the edge of the sink to get out of the way, but Leah dipped her head down and shoved out past them, taking the opportunity to escape without you being able to stop her.

Yep. You fucked up.

#woso #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #woso fanfics #woso x reader #arsenal x reader #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson

[eimids]

Your worst enemy

Arsenal x reader

Reder is suffering with depression and doesn’t want her teammates to know.

Warnings: depression, mention of suicide (nothing happens tho), HEAVY on the angst, hurt/comfort?

words: around 3k

Your thoughts had been spiraling for a while, first you didn’t even realize it. Starting with only tiredness and some not so good days. You just brushed then off.

Your depression wasn’t back, it couldn’t be it.

Last time it got so bad that you were almost hospitalized. So this time it couldn’t get to that point. You changed your whole life after your last depressive episode. You changed from Manchester United to Arsenal. You cut contact with toxic people in your life, especially your ex.

But without you even realizing, it became more severe. Not having any energy, going to sleep at 9pm and sleeping for almost 12 hours every day. You were also getting irritated really easily. If something didn’t go your way, you were ready to fight (and cry). Practice was the only moment you had to be energetic. You couldn’t let things affect football. You didn’t want to be with your teammates, the bonding nights only seemed like a lot of work to keep a happy surface.

During best days, everything felt almost normal. But just almost. Something felt always off. Sounds were too loud, lights were too brightbut you were happy. You were supposed to be happy. Why couldn’t you just be happy. Everything was good, what did you have in your life for you to be depressed? Absolutely nothing.

You tried your best to not let anyone notice but you failed miserably. Alessia was the first one to notice and tried subtly to talk to you about it. You were closest to her at Arsenal. You transferred with her from Manu so you knew each other from there. Although you were only 19 you and Less where getting along really well. After practice she offered to grab coffee with you, then have a nice girlsnight with her.

“Oh it’ll be fun. We can just go to my apartment to watch some movies and order your favorite food” The older woman tried to convince you.

You were hesitant at her suggestion. After the long day you were already overwhelmed and tired. You just wanted to sleep away the never ending tiredness. You hadn’t had even that long day. Only practice and recovery. Then some quick media stuff. But even that made you exhausted. Wanting to just rot away in your bed you made some excuse for Less.

“I’m sorry i’m just really tired today and I’m gonna have to call to my parents about them coming to visit” You said as casually as you could.

Lessi almost believed it, but she knew something deeper was going on. She’d seen you get more and more tired during the last months and she didn’t really know what to do about it.

“You know you can always talk to me if you have something on your mind?” Less blurted out.

You were pondering your options. You could say that things were ok and not to worry about you. But you could also confess the hard truth. Your depression was back. But Less would have to tell that to Leah and Kim, who were obligated to tell Jonas and the team management.

“I know Less, but I’m doing okay” You said and smiled. Then you just grabbed your kitbag and left the training grounds.

It was already 8pm and it was getting dark. You still didn’t have your drivers license so you couldn’t drive by yourself. You could ask a lift from one of your teammates but most of them had left or were still doing media. Uber felt useless waste of money so you decided to walk home. It was only four kilometers so it wasn’t anything too bad. You started your walk on the quiet roads of England. There was some pubs and bars you walked past to. Hearing the usual catcalls from some gross old men. You tried to ignore them you put your music louder in your headphones and continued walking.

Your phone was on ‘do not disturb’ mode as you continued your walk. You didn’t really notice anything around you. Not even truly caring about anything. You just wanted the numbness and tiredness to go away. Somehow you managed to get to your apartment. You took your shoes off and walked straight to your bed. Not caring that you were still wearing your day clothes. Your apartment was a mess so you didn’t even bother to look for any other clothes.

The next day you woke up and it was already 10am. Another 12 hours had passed with your sleeping. You knew you were going to be late but still didn’t bother to get up. You decided to check your phone only to find 3 missed calls from Less and texts.

Lessi🤍

8.47pm

Viv said you didn’t ride with her back home? Don’t say you walked! I could’ve driven you home..

9.12pm

Please answer to me that you are okay y/n. I just want to know you got home safely.

10.39pm

I really hope you are already asleep at your house. I’m worried please call me when you can.

You were alarmed when you heard something from your kitchen. You quickly got up and went to look for the sound. Your kitchen was cleaned, the living room was cleaned, what was happened.

Alessia. She stood there in your kitchen making you breakfast. You were confused about everything even though you had given Less your spare keys.

“Morning y/n, we need to have a talk” Less just said. Clearly not happy.

“Well yeah, you can’t just show up to my apartment” You answered.

“Yea I can when I’m worried sick about you. I asked almost everyone on the team if they had taken you home but no. Did you walk home? You can’t be that reckless, something could’ve happened. So when you didn’t answer I decided to come over to see what’s going on. I’m glad I found you safely home, sleeping” Less started her lecture.

“I didn’t walk” You lied. “I ordered an uber and got home safely” You continued with the lies. You could see the anger and worry on Alessia’s face turn to guilt. “I was tired and didn’t want to bother anyone so I just ordered the uber. You don’t have to worry about me Less, I’m okay” You said with a smile. You were trying to be convincing although all that came from your mouth was lies.

“Oh i’m so sorry y/n. I don’t know what got to me but you’ve been acting weird lately and I just got so worried when you didn’t answer. Maybe I should get going, I’m sorry again” Alessia said and started to grab her things.

You stopped her by hugging her. You weren’t mad at her, although you didn’t want her to be worried about you, I felt nice to know that she cared about you. “You can stay Less, have breakfast with me” You said to her softly.

So she did. You ate your breakfast in a comfortable silence and then talked about your next match that you were going to have in couple days. You were supposed to leave to Manchester later that day. After you ate, Less grabbed her stuff again and left. You were happy with yourself that you convinced her that everything was okay.

You and Alessia both missed the team meeting of that morning but were on time to get to your bus to leave to Manchester. You got a little lecture from Jonas but didn’t really care. Wasn’t the first time.

On the bus most of your teammates were on the back of the bus listening to music and chatting. You however were sitting in the front. Headphones in listening to Taylor Swift and trying to sleep. It wasn’t hard with how exhausted you were. Sleep came nowadays always easily.

At some point you were woken by Kim sitting next to you. You tried to just act like you were sleeping but the skipper knew better.

“I know you’re awake y/n. Why don’t you come to the back of the bus with the others and have some fun, you have missed a lot of team bonding nights lately and the girls miss your company” Kim stated to you. You could hear Katie singing in the back of the bus and laughed a little.

“Okay I can come for a while. But I really need my beauty sleep” You tried to joke. Kim laughed a little before walking back to her seat. You followed her and were welcomed with teasing from your teammates.

“Well good to see you y/l/n, feels like I haven’t seen you in ages” Katie teased as she saw you walking to the back of the bus. “Come sit next to me” She continued.

You really didn’t want to hear the teasing from Katie but decided to still take the seat next to her. In front of you were Beth and Viv. In the next booth of four were Less, Leah and Kyra. Music was blasting and you saw as Katie was filming a tiktok about the her day. She filmed you in it with the something along ‘She’s alive’. You smiled for the camera but actually you wanted to cry. You were tired af the teasing. You were tired of everyone fussing about you. Why couldn’t you just enjoy some peace and quiet.

You zoned out for a while and next thing you realize was that Leah was gently waking you up.

“Wake up sleepy” Leah said quietly and smiled to you.

“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep” You said while looking around. Everyone else had left the bus, you were at your hotel.

Leah just hummed and helped you get your stuff and then walked with you to the entrance. Your teammates were sorting out rooms. You were hoping to get a room for yourself all alone. When you’re name was called at last you found out that you were paring with Leah. Kim and Leah changed looks that you didn’t notice.

Some of your teammates, mainly Viv, Beth and Less had went and talked to your skippers about your weird behavior. They had all noticed the signs of depression. Especially Less who had known you when you had your latest episode. They had made a small plan to get you to talk. Leah would be rooming with you, Kim would encourage you to be more with the other girls. Viv and Beth where just like parents who took notice about your behavior and made sure that you took care of yourself. They didn’t want to talk to you yet about it. They want you to come talk to them, or to anyone at that matter.

The rest of the day was a blur. You had a practice on the pitch, some recovery in cold pool, dinner. At practice you were almost benched because you were playing recklessly. Taking stupid risks and tackling people. A lot of your tackles were not even towards others, more so you could get yourself hurt. They were stupid and you knew it but just didn’t care.

After dinner your head was a mess. You felt overwhelmed and you couldn’t really take a notice of your surroundings. Kyra was walking next to you to the elevator. For the next couple of hours you were supposed to spend time with your teammates. You knew you had to show your face there for people not to get suspicious but you were in a bad mental state and just wanted to be alone. You walked hand in hand to the meeting room where pretty much everyone was in already. You smiled and talked for a while before trying to make an excuse to leave.

“Don’t leave yet, you just came here” Viv said to you. Trying to find someone else in the room who was in on the plan. She saw Leah and waved her over.

“I’m just not really in a mood to be here, I was thinking about having a shower and just going to sleep” You answered. Not having the energy to make up excuses.

“Y/n it’s not even 6pm, can’t you just stay here with us for a little while longer?” Leah asked hopefully.

Everything was just too much for you. The music in the background, Leah and Viv asking too many questions. Your breathing started to pick up pace. You knew that if you didn’t get away now, you would most likely end up having a panic attack. So you left. Without a word to Leah or Viv. You just turned around and walked away. You ran to your room and quickly closed the door. You fell to the ground and couldn’t help the tears in you eyes starting to spill.

You hated it, hated it all. You hated your mind for not being normal. You hated yourself for not accepting help from the other who clearly were just worried about you. You hated your teammates for trying to help. You hated the feeling in your head that just didn’t go away. You just hated it all.

Leah and your other teammates decided to give you some time for a while. Letting you calm down. But they all knew that they needed to do something. Leah and Kim decided to talk to the team management the first thing the following day. They knew you needed help and couldn’t watch on the side as you were slowly ruining yourself. After sometime Leah decided to come back to your shared room. She expected to find you sleeping but was concerned when you weren’t in the room. She checked the bathroom but no. You weren’t there. She got worried quickly. Her mind went first to the worst scenarios. Did something happen to you, did yo do something to yourself, was it too late for her to come look for you, she was blaming herself instantly.

“She isn’t hear” Leah said in a panicked voice as soon as Kim answered her call.

“What do you mean Leah?” Kim asked worriedly.

“She isn’t in our room, what if something has happened” Leah worried.

“Okay let’s not panic yet. Come back to the team room and we’ll make a plan” Kim said to Leah. Being the captain she knew she had to stay calm. They talked as Leah walked back to the team room. Kim had asked most of the girls to go back to their rooms and have a chill night. Not wanting to consern them.

Viv, Beth, Katie, Alessia, Leah and Kim were the ones to stay. They knew you the best and right now all they wanted was to find you.

“Has anyone called her?” Beth asked.

“Well yeah but she didn’t answer, it went straight to voicemail” Leah answered.

“She’s an adult and can leave if she wants, right now there isn’t much we can do unfortunately. Leah I suggest you go back to your room and see if y/n comes back. Inform us immediately if she comes, Viv and Beth can you go to the restaurant and bar to check if y/n’s there?” Kim started to make a plan.

Kim, Less and Katie stayed in the teamroom. Alessia was crying. She knew how bad it could get for you. Last time, about two years ago, she and Ella Toone had found you on the roof of the hotel, ready to jump. After that you started to get better. You were put on antidepressants and went to therapy for a year. She was happy that you were getting better. She didn’t want to believe the signs of depression when she first noticed them again. She didn’t want you to go through that again.

The team didn’t have to look for a long time before you showed up back in your room where Leah was pacing around. She stopped immediately when she heard the door open. Next she saw you with tears in your eyes standing there. Looking so fragile.

“I think I need help Leah, please help me” You said with the tiniest voice, lips quivering but Leah heard you. She came running to you before you collapsed on her embrace. You cried as she carried you to the bed and then continued to let you cry against her.

She quickly found her phone in her pocket and sent a quick text to Kim that you were back. Then she ignored the respond she got and just continued to hug you.

“I’m here for you and I’m going to get you the help you need” Leah whispered in your ear.

—

This was supposed to be longer but I don’t really know how to continue this so I might do a part 2 where reader sorts with the aftermath about everything. Would you be interested in part 2?

#angst #leah williamson #woso x reader #x reader #alessia russo #katie mccabe #kim little #beth mead #vivianne miedema #arsenal wfc

[bloodyjuls-blog]

Goodbye my lover

Leah Williamson X Reader (y/n)

I suggest to listen to this song: goodbye my lover by James Blunt.

⚠️Warning ⚠️ Angst, sad. The baby's picture makes sense but it's not related to sadness story with the baby.

"Y/n this can't continue like this, things have changed a lot and I think the best thing for us is to get divorced"... Leah said very seriously while y/n's tears began to form around her eyes.

"If that's what you want, that's fine, but let it be clear that I wanted to fight against everything and be able to make you and the little one happy" I said between sobs. To tell the truth, my mental health was in shit, in the deepest hole, and the fact that I now have to go through a divorce makes it much worse. What worries me most lately is my physical health has also worsened and Leah's anger towards me makes our friends hate me, not to mention my job at the club. It is more than logical that I will not be able to continue there.

Flashback

"Hey y/n, I want to talk to you about something, please come with me to the office," Jonas says calmly, like always. Once in the office "what I wanted to tell you is that as a club we are not going to tolerate any type of bad behavior not only at the level of colleagues and even less tolerate how you emotionally affect Leah and your son, we understand that you are going through hard times but I insist, Your behavior has bothered the management, and much to my regret I have to tell you that we no longer want you to be part of this squad, we wish you luck in everything and you have today to take your things. Regarding your settlement, you will be effective in a couple of weeks with the respective compensation" says Jonas seriously. "But Jonas, my personal things here have nothing to do with it," I said, a little shocked because I didn't feel like there was a logical reason to kick me out. I got ready to pick up my things while the girls were at the gym and I went home.

What a bad taste all that had left in my mouth. Once at home, I sit on the couch and watch any boring series while it's dinner time. I know Leah is having dinner with Lia while I talk to my agent about what happened.

Hours later Leah arrives with the little one and I smiled when I saw him, so beautiful and he is only 3 months old. My little one. I reached out to pick up the child. "Leah, I assume you know what happened today?" I commented to her, a little upset but hiding it because of the baby. "Yes, I made the suggestion and I don't regret it," she says, super annoyed. "But why did you do it?" I say a bit borderline. "Your life is getting out of your hands and you're not doing anything, this can't go on like this, I don't even want to see you in this house anymore. You know what? take your things and leave. Don't come back, eveeeer..."

End of the flashback

And here I am, in a park with the car parked while I think about what I'm going to do considering that she didn't even let me take out a coat or my wallet and my cell phone is about to turn off. While my mind was assimilating what was happening to me, I felt a very strong pain in my chest but I deduced that it was due to the stress of the situation. "When I thought I had it all, I ended up ruining it" "I'm worthless" "I couldn't take care of my family" "I'm sure she has someone else" "Will I ever see my child again?" "Arsenal realized that I was a failure as a footballer and decided to kick me out" "where will I go if I don't have anyone" "the girls at the club surely bow down to the captain" and more thoughts circulated through my mind as I cried and was consumed by the cold. It was clear that Leah's car had the best heating.

I decided to take the reins and go to a hotel and that has been 3 months ago. I can't stop thinking about how everyone is doing, the child, my wife or well, ex-wife, Amanda, Jacob, and all the people I appreciate even though they don't like me right now. I see my name in trashy magazines, that I take drugs, that I'm a slut, a drunk, etc. And the truth is that my behavior is erratic because most times during the day I am overthinking and I am attacked by remorse that leaves me at my lowest and so asleep. As if she were gone. I get a message from Leah...

My all and more <3

Y/n I need you to come home so I can serve you with the divorce papers so we can decide custody of the child.

I read the message with great sadness because that was not what I wanted for my little one. I have always idealized a happy family with everything it implies. How wrong I was.

I head to Leah's house and see a car in the garage that I've never seen before, nor did it belong to any girl at the club.

I rang the bell and a girl comes out with Sage in her arms "hello, good, eh, is Leah here?" "Are you the babysitter?" I ask timidly and softly. "No, you must be y/n her ex-wife?" "My pleasure, I'm Sophie, Leah's new partner, come into the living room and she'll come down," she tells me, between annoyed and angry. I head to the living room of what was once my home. "Hey Sophie, can I hold Sage?" She said calmly. "Of course not, Leah has given me orders not to do it" she tells me a little harshly. "Leah what?" "Girl, I'm the little one's mother and I have the same rights as her, you're crazy, let me take the little one please" "no y/n, you don't understand" and she goes with the baby to the second floor.

Leah comes down and looks quite upset.

"Hello y/n, as I told you in the message, here are the documents, sign them and you are free, what do you think about custody?" She says so calmly and taciturnly that it seems strange to me. I feel dizzy and with the same incessant pain in my chest, I want this to end now "whatever you think is appropriate, in the end you are the one who lives with him, but I want to see the baby" I said seriously. "You're not going to see it, and I think you should give me full custody, since I see that you don't even have a job, there's no point in being the perfect mom when you haven't even been able to maintain that," she tells me angrily. I feel more dizzy than before "You're absolutely right, apparently the baby wants a lot of Sophie and I'm no longer relevant to this family" I said a little hurt by the whole situation. "I'm going to let you see the baby today while you sign everything and then you forget about us," Leah says as she calls Sophie. Once I have Sage in my arms, I pamper him, give him kisses, hugs and gestures of love that will never come back. While I'm with the little one I feel like I'm slowly running out of air but I play dumb so I don't have to leave and raise suspicions about what's happening. The only person who knows is Lucy and Ona for obvious reasons. "Leah, can you bring me a glass of water please?" I said very slowly so she wouldn't notice my body discomfort. When she approaches with the glass I prepare to take it and she tells me in a worried tone "you look a little pale, are you okay?" "Yes, of course, I'm just a little tired, this child is very big and doesn't stop" "It's been a while since he was just born, I can't believe it" I say between nostalgia, sadness, concern for everything that is happening to me. "Oh okay" Leah tells me very calmly.

I feel a very strong puncture on the left side of my body, in my arm exactly. And the most sensible decision I make is to hand the child to Leah and prepare to leave. "Well Leah, it's time to go. I want you to know that you are doing very well as a mother. I know that the child will have a good education and upbringing. I would have liked to be a part of everything a little more but hey, that's life. And I hope you forgive me for not being enough. I know I never was. I hope with all my heart that your plans work out for you and you can be everything you set out to be" I say with labored breathing, tears but mostly because of the pain in the chest and arm that makes it impossible for me to stay upright. "It's a shame that everything ended like this, thank you for signing and for thinking about the little one's well-being," she says happily, as if he had lifted a weight off her shoulders. At that moment I noticed the hindrance I was causing to her. Not even 3 months and she had already found another one. I thought that while I moved my left arm and wrist to see if the pain would go away a little, nothing. I get up and go to the baby, I give him a kiss and wipe the tears from my eyes, I try to appear calm that I don't have inside.

And that's when the puncture makes me double over, but I try to hide it while I get in the car to head to my hotel. Which I can't because once I'm sitting behind the wheel I get more punctures in my heart and my breathing decreases drastically. For me it could have been an hour or five, the truth is I wasn't paying attention. What is true is that when I finally manage to get going, my heart feels strange, I was sweating as if I had played 90 more games, I felt tight, everything was burning. My neck, my back, my head, everything hurt and I was spinning. I felt strange, like I was in another body, my body is generally healthy. What was the purpose of all this, having depression, getting divorced, losing my son, my wife, missing the baby's first months, where he doesn't even consider me his mother. Losing my job, my friends, my club, my football. I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how but I managed to get to the hotel and I feel like I'm on the verge of something strong, my heart hurts too much and not just because of the losses, physically too. And a lot. I'm starting to notice that my back is falling asleep, my arms feel weak. I decided to call the only person who knows what to do "come on Lucy, answer gal, damn it" I say to myself when I see that she doesn't answer me. I look at the clock and see the time is 3 in the morning. I know I'm having a massive heart attack but I can't do anything, I can't move. I call Leah and she answers me super angry "what do you want y/n?" "I wanted to hear your voice one last time, I'm sorry things ended like this, I wish you the best" I said, choked by pain. "You look strange, are you on drugs or something?" She says upset. "No, no. Forget it, I shouldn't have called you, it might be too late (not referring the hour but the life)" I said in a small voice. And I hung up and turned off the phone. I lay flat on the bed and fell unconscious with the only memory of an angry Leah and a wasted life.

#woso #lionesses #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #england lionesses #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #arsenal women

[magics-neptunes-things]

Collide (2)

Hello everyone!

Here is the rest of Collide, you can find the first part here, I obviously advise you to read it if you come across this part first… Otherwise you will surely not understand much!

A big thank you for your support, this story is longer and more thoughtful than the ones I have written so far, so it takes me much more time.

I really hope that all of you are having or will have a wonderfull Christmas. Take care of yourself and your loved ones ❤️

I hope you'll enjoy this part :)

TW : Alcohol, Angst and I think it’s ok like that!

World : 5.4K

PART 1 I PART 3 I PART 4 I PART 5 I PART 6 | PART 7

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Time has gone by nicely since you arrived in London and your integration into the Arsenal team is no longer in doubt. You get along well with everyone, you participate willingly in the parties organized by your teammates and you even managed to make yourself appreciated quickly by the fans. Which is not a difficult thing as long as you play well. And without wanting to throw yourself flowers or play the presumptuous, you are more than satisfied with your performance on the field right now.

Alessia has become a very close friend and the fact that she’s your neighbor probably helps a lot too. You often go to the training ground together and it happens regularly that one finishes at the other apartment in the evening. You have become a bit of an essential element of each other’s apartment decor. You are also close to Manuela, your goalkeeper, and Viv makes you die laughing. You also enjoy spending time with Lia, even if she is very close to Leah who continues to torment your thoughts. Katie and Caitlin are great mates too.

After some time of tension between Leah and you following your defection during your kiss, you managed to find a cordial relationship. You can’t help but look at her when she doesn’t see you, you still feel very attracted to her. And it’s not just about physics, you find her funny, interesting and you have the impression that your souls are made to get along. But you’ve never been alone with her since the party. And you feel like it suits Leah like that.

You were getting ready for practice when your phone rings, somewhere in your apartment. After a few long seconds of research, you end up finding it under a cushion of your sofa and answers without taking the time to look who may try to contact you.

"Y/N, hi!" makes a joyful voice.

"Wally, what’s going on?" you ask, sitting on your couch.

You hear from the noise around her that she’s definitely driving somewhere noisy.

"I had to pick up Leah to take her to practice but I’m stuck in traffic and I don’t think I’ll be on time myself. Could you go get her, please?"

No? Out of question to find myself with my crush in the same space clot for twenty minutes without interruption miss Wälti, I am not sure to survive. Have you see this girl? The way her face light up when she smile make me want to...

"Oh, yes, of course" you answer, pinching your nose. "You’re telling her I’m coming?"

"Yeah, yeah, no worries. Thank you very much Y/N, see you later."

"Drive carefully. See you"

Your voice is just a mumble at the end of your sentence and you hang up before Lia has time to say something else. You always go early when you drive alone like today, Alessia having an appointment before training. You have plenty of time to get Leah, but you’re still very worried.

So you nervously take the wheel, driving to the blonde's house where you’ve already been to for one of your evenings. Before the kiss. When you park in front of her house, you take a few seconds to take a big breath before getting out of the car.

You press the doorbell a first time before sliding your hands in the pockets of your sweatshirt and you press a second time after a few minutes, when you realize that no one comes to open. You know Leah lives alone so maybe she just didn’t hear the doorbell the first time.

But your ear is drawn to a piano melody that makes you frown. Since when has Leah been playing the piano? You don’t have time to question yourself any longer, though, since your captain’s voice ends up in your ears.

"Come on in Wally, it’s open!" Leah screams

Ouch. So either she didn’t get Lia’s messages, or Lia just forgot to warn her. Whatever it is, you’re hoping Leah won’t take your presence at her place badly. You end up slowly entering inside, carefully closing the door behind you. Leah’s home is different in the daylight and you mechanically follow the melody of the piano that resounds in the house.

You end up finding Leah in a room that probably serves as her office, actually installed behind a piano. This woman is full of surprises. You don’t dare interrupt her, so you cross your arms and lean on the door frame until she’s done. You recognize a song by Shania Twain, but you can't remember the title of it.

When she’s done, Leah turns in your direction with a satisfied little smile. That quickly turns into a surprised frown when she sees you there. "Hi" you say before clearing your throat. "Lia is stuck somewhere in London with her car and asked if I could pick you up. She was supposed to warn you. Sorry, I guess she forgot to" "Oh, okay" Leah replies, getting up "It’s been a while since I looked at my phone, I may not have seen her message" You nod thoughtfully, tightening your arms around yourself mechanically while waiting for Leah to check her phone. You see a new smile lightening her face and you imagine that it is by seeing the message of the Swiss woman. You’re kind of jealous about the ease of their relationship, to have a friendship as strong as they both have... No, actually, it’s not a friendship you’d like to have with Leah. But you have to stay wise. Anyway, you doubt it’s what the blonde wants on her side. She’s not one to be in a long relationship. "Shall we go?" Leah’s voice cuts you off in your thoughts and you simply nod, taking off against the wood you were always leaning on. You pick up Leah’s bag mechanically as you pass the front door, which seems to both surprise and amuse her. "I can carry my bag, you know?" "Oh... I just thought with your leg... sorry" Leah does not answer, content to laugh gently closing the door of her home with a key. You mask your red cheeks by storing her bag in the trunk of your car and you hope to have found a casual face when you sit next to her. "I didn’t know you played the piano" you say after a few minutes of silence. Leah looks at you briefly and you feel like she’s holding back from saying "There’s a lot you don’t know about me," which is probably true. "I started it during the lockdown. I’m not really good, but I like it."

"What I heard was very good" you countered, looking at it in the corner of your eyes.

"Well thanks" Leah laughs and you feel your belly make a somersault "But I’ve been repeating this song for a long time. I have no right to tell you why for the moment"

"It’s a piece by Shania Twain, isn’t it?"

"Yes. You’re still the one"

This time, you see her turning in your direction to be able to better observe you. Is it done voluntarily or not, you do not know. What you do know is that you’re happy to have started a conversation that allows you to exchange without having disturbing silence in the car.

"Do you like country music?" asks the blonde

"Not really. All I know about country is that Miley Cyrus has a father who does. Does it count?" you ask with a laugh.

"I could hit you right now"

Leah has a smile when she says that, and it makes you laugh again. A new silence comes between you, but this one is nice. You are finally relaxed with each other since your party and you feel you can breathe more easily.

"We’re going to a Luke Combs concert next weekend. You could come with us, it would open you up to the country world?"

You bite your lip thoughtfully. You know many of them are going. Leah, Lia, Alessia, and so on.

"Less offered it to me a few days ago but I refused saying that I didn’t like to go to concerts if I could not sing the lyrics" you admit thoughtfully.

Your gaze clinging to the dense traffic in London doesn’t allow you to see the disappointment read for a few seconds on Leah’s face.

"I guess I’ll have to revise quickly"

To be honest, what also made you turn down that offer was not to make Leah’s evening unpleasant. You quickly understood how she can’t stand being away from others on the field and how these shared moments with your teammates are important to her. But that she still wants you to come also makes you exceedingly happy.

During the rest of the trip, Leah asks you about your own musical preferences and you tell her that you got stuck with the old rock and pop-rock bands you used to listen to when you were a teenager. A little Norwegian variety also thanks to your parents, whom she has never heard of but that doesn’t surprise you particularly.

********

"Looks good, your integration into Arsenal" Leila’s voice says from your phone as you cook yourself something for dinner.

"Frankly, I have nothing to complain about. They are all adorable" you answer sincerely.

"Adorable is not a term I would use for Katie McCabe"

You laugh softly and shake your head. You know perfectly well the reputation that Katie has outside the field, you have heard about it since your arrival in the English champion.

"She’s like a bulldozer on the ground, but outside she’s really nice. A hell of a character maybe, but I’ve never seen someone as loyal as her"

"Look at her, completely on the enemy’s side"

Leila laughs and you smile, rolling your eyes. Sometimes keeping friendships isn’t easy when you’re away or playing on opposing teams, but you’re glad to see that you seem to be keeping your bond with Leila for now. You obviously hope it lasts.

Two shots are taking at your front door before Alessia comes inside to drop on your couch. It’s become such a habit between you that you don’t even react to her presence.

"How was the concert?" asks Leila.

"It was good, sincerely. It’s not the music I used to listen to, but I liked it."

That’s the truth. You honestly didn’t expect to have such a great time. The good relationship between Arsenal players also exists outside the field and this spirit makes you feel like part of a family. From someone so far from yours like you, it’s more than pleasant. And that night you spent gave you an opportunity to spend some time with Leah too. Like a child who tests his own limits, you try to determine where the line is that you must not exceed. As if she were reading your thoughts, Leila resumes speaking as you mix what you cook in your pan. "What about Williamson?" "What about Leah?" You ask, taking a quick look at Alessia to see if she’s listening to what you’re saying. "Huh? Since you kissed, is..." You don’t hear the end of the sentence, jumping on your phone to cut the microphone. But it’s too late and you see Alessia’s face turning into a surprise. The amazement, rather. "I call you back Lei" you mumble to your friend before hanging up. "You kissed Leah?" Wide-eyed, Alessia has made her way to you. A big smile appeared on his face, but you startled when you heard him scream half. "Shh!" you tell her, as if you were afraid someone else would listen to you. "Why didn’t you tell me? When was that?" Alessia put her two hands on your shoulders and she shakes you gently, apparently more than willing to have answers to her questions. "At my moving-in party" you end up sighing. "And she kissed me." Well, you didn’t reject it to be honest. Well, at the beginning anyway. The rest, no need to remind. "Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your place?" laughs Alessia. "Why does it look like you killed someone when you talk about it?" "Because nothing has happened since then, we are probably not looking for the same thing. Not many people know, Lessi, you have to keep it to yourself please"

"Of course I will. But maybe Lia knows too, Leah say her everything."

"Maybe" you shrug.

"But still. You kissed Leah Williamson"

********

The break for international competitions arrive at à great time. You were able to see your family again, especially your parents and seeing your friends from the national team also make you happy. Your reunion with Ingrid was filmed and posted on social media, your embrace being visible to everyone. You don’t know what makes people not think there’s something going on between you, but you’re grateful that it’s going on like this. You like Ingrid as a friend and you don’t want to have to think about how to behave with her so you don’t hurt her girlfriend.

The results of your national team didn’t live up to your expectations however, despite the goals you were able to score. The disappointment must have been visible in the message that you tried to shoot positively on Instagram. You got some messages of encouragement from your friends, from Arsenal or not. You also received a message from Leah, the first one she addresses you directly on a Whatsapp band.

If you were sad to have to say goodbye to your best friend again, finding your Arsenal teammates is a pleasure. This feeling of being at home warms your heart.

"Hi Frozen" tease Katie at you when you see her for the first time, making you roll your eyes with fun.

This time again, the hug that you exchange with Leah lasts a little longer than the others and you smile at her when she pinches you affectionately the cheek. Maybe you missed her too much.

In the next game, against Aston Villa, you feel like Leah’s mind is somewhere else, but yours too. This is the first time in a long time that you will find yourself facing your ex and you know that Leah will also have to live with the fact that Jordan will be around.

Even though the blonde is still not playing, Leah participates in the briefings and is always around when you play at home.

No wonder, her love for the team and the club is now known to everyone. You haven’t been thinking particularly about Alina lately, Leah taking a lot of time in your thoughts. But you have to admit that to see her again, even from the back, training with her teammates, it does you something. You no longer have the slightest feeling of love for her, of course. Everything magically disappeared the day you learned about her infidelities. But you still have trouble swallowing betrayal.

"Are you okay here?"

You recognize Leah’s voice easily, but the hand on your shoulder makes you jump. Crossing her eyes, you quickly understand that she understood and you just shrug your shoulders.

"Yeah, I know. Come on, let’s go."

Leah’s hand slips on your back as she takes you to the small group forming by Alessia, Katie and Kyra. You find yourself regretting the feeling of her hand in your back when Alessia puts her arm around your shoulders in a comforting embrace. You nevertheless let yourself go against her, looking over Leah’s shoulder. From a distance, you have the impression that Jordan Nobbs was looking in your direction.

The game was hard, Aston Villa scored first and your team have trouble to find the back of the net. It last almost until the end of the game, until you caught Leah’s eye in the bleachers. From there to say that it’s her who gave you the impulse to go and score the goal, there is a world. But still, it’s only a few seconds later that you score. And a few minutes later, Alessia scored the winning goal, allowing Arsenal to win the match.

It’s probably cruel for the other team, but honestly you don’t care. You don’t get asked to show your joy, celebrating with Wally, Kyra and Alessia. You watch while a smiling Leah jumping into Alessia’s arms just before Katie comes to offer you a hug in her own way, passing an arm around your neck while strocking your hair with the other hand.

"Manu’s organising a party for tonight, are you coming?" says you a happy Katie.

When she gets your positive answer she releases you, literally pounding up to Caitlin. It’s by following her with your eyes that your eyes cling to a silhouette that you know very well despite yourself. Alina, standing in the middle of the field with her hands on her hips, looking disgusted. As you said, seen from the other side, the defeat must be bitter.

When she looks at you too, you hurry to turn your heels, only to rush straight into Jordan Nobbs.

"Oh… sorry mate" you mumble by rushing to run away.

You are relieved to see that the person who pulls you by the arm right after is Alessia, carrying you away from this situation. An amused smile is visible on her face, and you feel that she restrains herself from saying something.

"Don’t"

Alessia laughs and can only smile when hearing it, gently shaking your head. The fans in front of which Alessia trains you claiming photos and autographs, that make you forget easily what has just happened.

********

A few hours later, you’re in a nightclub with almost the entire team. Although we have to admit that everyone was a little scattered throughout the nightclub. Maybe you drank too much, too. Leah is here, of course. When she came to sit next to you with her big smile and her sexy outfit, you almost fainted. You feel like she’s doing it on purpose. But it’s nothing compared to the wave of chills that runs through you when she looks at you to say "Pretty goal, superstar". The ambient music forces her to have this behavior, but still.

It’s not the ambient music that will make her invite you to dance with her. If you refused at first, claiming not to know how to dance, you couldn’t resist her any longer. And you also noticed that others girls don’t seem against keeping Leah company. Of course, you have absolutely no right to be jealous, but that definitely tilts the scales.

You’ve been dancing with Leah for a long time now, to be honest, you’ve completely lost track of time. Your teammates are far too drunk around you to pay attention to you and none seem to have realized how your body seems unable to detach from Leah’s. Your body is attracted with the strength of a magnet by hers and as long as you had your back against her, you managed to fight against yourself and keep an almost clear mind. But when the last song changed, you stupidly turned around and you were hypnotized by the captain’s gaze. Your heart rate is faster, your breathing is more complicated and you have to fight with all your strength not to lean in her direction a few centimeters more to be able to kiss her. Her hands on your hip and in the hollow of your back hold you all against her and the arms you tied around her neck may not help either. It’s as if your mind and your body wanted two things and you were pulled from two sides at the same time. You’ve obviously noticed Leah’s eyes slipping regularly on your lips, seemingly wishing nothing but to kiss you. The message is very clear, it would be for anyone. But when Leah tries an approach and touches your lips with hers, you step back. You obviously realized that Leah didn’t even look at a girl other than you tonight, but the fear of getting screwed again is stronger than the rest. You only stepped back a few inches so you could look into Leah’s. If you haven't saw Alina today, maybe you would have kiss her. You certainly read a part of disappointment, perhaps even a little rejection, but also uncertainty. Does she think that she misinterpreted the signals you send her? That is not the case, of course. You are undeniably attracted to her, you don't want to lie to her either. Or worse, let her start thinking that you’re the one playing with her feelings.

"I’m sorry. I don’t want to be an extra number on your hunting board, Leah."

By your position, you feel Leah’s breath against your lips and it makes you half crazy. When you gently detach you from her, she lets you. You can see her jaw is tight, but you don’t feel like it’s anger. You can’t take the time to figure out what it is, before you decide to get out of there. You pick up your jacket and bag and go out, even unintentionally bumping into someone who hasn’t asked for anything on your way.

"Are you alright?"

A voice next to you makes you jump and you raise your eyes on a couple that was probably out smoking. The girl looks at you with special attention and you realize at this moment that your hands are shaking.

"Yes, yes, it’s okay" you mumble taking a deep breath.

"Sure?"

You nod again, both surprised and touched by so much soliscitude. Maybe there is still some hope in the human being?

"Do you know where I can get a cab?"

The one you imagine being her boyfriend points at you the end of the street. You thank and greet them, walking quickly going in the right direction. It only take you twenty minutes to return home, your mind haunted by the image of Leah, the sensations felt when your face was only a few inches from you. Regrets mix with relief and you still don’t know if you made the right decision.

You don’t even take the time to remove your makeup before hiding under your duvet. You want to call Leah, but this is the second time you’ve pushed her away in a short time. You will never dare to return to the training ground without having a terrible fear of running into her. You were wondering if you are going to contact your agent to ask him to propose you for a loan with another team when you hear someone knocking on the door of your apartment. "Y/N?" It’s Alessia’s voice and you realize no one saw you leave, except maybe Leah. You hiss when you feel the cold ground under your bare feet when you answer, finding yourself facing an Alessia who seems both relieved and annoyed. Her phone in hand, she seems to finish reading a message when she reports her attention to you. "Why didn’t you say you were going home?" Her tone is accusing and you pout, feeling like you’re being scolded by your older sister. But you can understand the worry. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you." Alessia still looks at you for a few seconds while squinting before sighing and slipping into your apartment. She hugs you before she lets you go. "You and Leah were missing, we were worried" she explains before going for a glass of water. "Leah too?" In spite of yourself, you feel the anxiety rise suddenly. If something happened to her because of your behavior, you will never forgive yourself. Worry is easily detectable in your voice, as Less hurries to comfort you. "Yes, but she’s home. Lia found her there. What happened?" "What do you mean?" You mumble looking at your feet. "Well you both disappear, you’re closer than you’ve ever been... But you don’t have the face of someone who had a nice evening"

"I screwed up" you sigh softly as you cross your arms on your chest.

Your gaze is always fixed on your feet and you frown, trying to remember the meaning of your memories and thoughts. Alessia knows what happened with Alina, the deception and everything, it’s not for nothing that she remained close to you physically speaking today. In the field, at least.

Alessia doesn’t answer anything, waiting patiently to see if you want to continue to explain yourself or not.

'I panicked. There’s this kind of attraction I’ve had for her from the beginning and the more I try to fight it, the bigger it gets. It’s like every thing she did or said is what I expect her to do, without me even knowing it."

You looked up at the blonde this time and she watches you talking, holding her half-empty glass of water in her hand. Her eyebrows are ruffled, but she looks more pensive than upset this time.

"We managed to catch up with the bond we had after I pushed her back. But tonight… I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about what happened with Alina all day and… I panicked. I don’t want to be heartbroken again."

This time it’s a compassionate smile that appears on Alessia’s face, which is content to extend your arms as the very first answer. You accepted and snuggled up against her, sighing softly. She didn’t steal her nickname of Lessi Bear.

"I think you should talk to Leah" Alessia says after a few seconds.

"I doubt she’ll want to talk to me again"

********

You were right. You don’t know if it’s voluntary or not on Leah’s part, but you haven’t seen her since the nightclub. She seems to have changed her physiotherapy and training schedules so she won’t run into you again. And you have to admit that it hurt your heart. But again this reaction is probably very selfish, if you are both there it is only your fault.

Your mood has deteriorated throught the days when you feel someone sitting next to you in the locker room. You look up expecting to find yourself in front of Caitlin who has her locker next to yours, but instead it’s Lia who addresses you one of her famous smiles.

"Are you okay?" she asks and you ask yourself in the first place if she’s not making fun of you.

But it would mean not knowing Lia at all.

"Good. What about you?"

Lia nods, still armed with her smile, while you finish putting on your sneakers. The training session has just ended, you are showered and changed and ready to go home.

"I was wondering if we could talk together?"

"Of course."

You get up and follow her, wondering what it is. Lia trains you with her in the cafeteria of the team, currently completely deserted. After having caught yourself drinking and sitting at a table, you look at her with an undisguised curiosity. If you really like the Swiss woman, you’ve never really exchanged one-on-one.

"Is everything okay?" You can’t help but ask her, afraid she’s in trouble.

"Oh, yes. It’s not me I wanted to talk to you about, it’s Leah."

You make a slight grimace but nods gently, your look staying on the cup of coffee you ordered yourself.

"I’m sorry if I intervene in a way that is not my business and you will have the right to scold me later, but I think it’s time someone did"

You look at her again a little surprised. Faithful to her country of origin, Lia is far from wanting to conflict with anyone. However, the fact that she wants to take the risk of doing so is a testament to the importance of what she will say.

"Leah told me what happened between you two"

Lia gives you an apology smile, but you told Alessia and Ingrid about it so you just nod. It would be rather inappropriate for you to resent Leah for needing to confide to someone.

"I don’t know who told you things about her, but what I do know is that Leah has been my friend since I came to Arsenal. She was always loyal and honest with me. When my ex and I broke up and I was lower than earth, she came home every night to try to cheer me up. She is sincere, kind and much sweeter and more tender than what people want her to be."

You know, you’re uncomfortable. You are one of those people who preferred to listen to what people was saying about Leah at the worst time, when she showed you during all these weeks that she is the girl that Lia has just described to you.

"I don’t know your past Y/N and I’m not judging you. But I really believe that Leah is genuinely interested in you. If it were just for one night, she would have moved on for a long time especially after you told her you don’t want a one time thing"

You remain silent for a few seconds, during which you assimilate what Lia has just told you. Passing a hand through your hair, you end up looking up at her.

"Anyway, it’s too late now. She must hate me, right?"

"I think you should talk to her about all this"

You bite your lip, realizing this is the second time you’ve been advised to do this in a few days. Unfortunately, this could be complicated.

"How? She doesn’t even want to see me here anymore"

Your desperate look seems to amuse Lia, or at least she smiles while rolling her eyes.

"By extraordinary luck we’re in the 21st century. You can either contact her via your phone or go to her house to talk to her"

Lia’s amused tone makes you smile slightly. She’s right, but it’s not so much your style to impose your presence somewhere. Your interlocutor must understand your reticence, since she puts her hand on your arm, making you look at her again.

"I will not speak for her, but she also suffered in her past. The only thing holding you both back is a lack of communication. I’m sure it can be fixed."

********

Right in front of Leah’s house, you don’t remember being so nervous for a long time. After thinking long and hard about the conversation you had with Lia, you then had to think about how to approach Leah. The blond continues to flee you like the plague and even if contacting her by message would probably be easier, you are not sure if she answers you. If the blonde has many qualities that have made you fall under her spell, she is still atrociously stubborn and resentful.

You turned in your head several scenarios, again and again until you became half crazy. Then you had enough. Sitting on Alessia’s couch in front of a particularly lame reality TV, you suddenly got up. Alessia gave you a worried look but you just threw at her while leaving her apartment

“I’m going to see Leah”

Your voice was clear and determined, making her understand that your decision was made. After shrugging her shoulders, Alessia lay down again in front of the television.

“Okay. But maybe change your pajamas first.”

Interrupted in your way, your hand freezes on the doorknob of the stricker’s apartment. Your eyes slide on your polar pajama bottoms with avocados drawn on them.

A grommet escapes from your lips as you open the door, triggering Alessia’s laughter behind you.

_____________________________________________________________

Merry Christmas you all 🎄❤️

#woso x reader #woso imagine #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson #woso fanfics #woso #woso imagines

[bugs1nmybrain]

Bipolar!Shigaraki Tomura Headcanons

I'm writing it. Because I CAN

Before I start, I am writing these headcanons as someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 for almost three years now. I frankly could not care less if people don't think he has Bipolar Disorder, I'm writing this for my comfort and that of others who either have Bipolar disorder or just resonate with the idea that Tomura does.

and I'm also very aware of Bipolar Disorder being stigmatized as something that affects "bad" people. I'm not trying to suggest this, but that Tomura is someone who is neglected of treatment.

Warning: Bipolar disorder as title suggests (Tomura's symptoms relate to type 1 more), talks of depression, mania, psychosis, suicidality, etc, angst?

Tomura has never been given a formal diagnosis and likely has no clue that he has bipolar disorder himself. He doesn't know much about it, either, other then the stereotype that people with general mood swings are "so bipolar."

The doctor knows, AFO does too, but for them, they see it as more ammo for their arsenal to make sure Tomura's life is nothing but agony. He's never been treated with medications or therapy. Nothing.

Because he isn't medicated, his episodes are pretty strong. His manic episodes sort of blend in with his everyday behavior to a lot of people.

It's during this time that he finds himself planning out grand operations against the heroes. Some of his ideas seem unrealistic and not well thought out. They're more just ideas thrown around, and he jumps to gather people and means to carry out his goal before actually having a calculated plan.

He's up all night doing this. But if he's not, he's likely gaming. He huddles up in his room with multiple cans of energy drinks (as if he didn't already have way too much energy).

(semi-canon) will text his comrades at godforsaken hours either asking, demanding, or just rambling about stuff. If he gets an answer, the recipient often finds themself confused because Tomura just talks and talks and talks, and when he's in the heat of some plan or project he doesn't really stop to compose his sentences or even take a damn breath.

He impulsively buys things, like copious amounts of in-game purchases. Or DoorDash. If he's feeling reeeaaal bold he'll go for a whole-ass gaming console if he can, even if his current one is perfectly fine. Or assembling as many thugs as he can and feeling generous enough to overpay them when they definitely don't need the amount of money he's giving them.

You can see how when AFO was arrested, his lifestyle shifted in this regard.

Tomura is already an irritable guy, and so his mania can make it worse. He gets very overstimulated with all of his sensations that little things, like accidentally stubbing his toe, can make him mad as fuck for a good thirty minutes.

He also gets very paranoid about others. When he talks to people, he's already convinced that they are tricking him somehow and he'll read every cue he can to confirm it, even if the proof isn't even there.

Even when he's out in public and by himself, he thinks everyone is mocking, judging, and looking at him. That also comes with being the most wanted villain around, but that's beside the point.

When something finally goes his way, he is HAPPY. Sometimes the League will catch Tomura smiling his face off for no apparent reason (odd for him), and will ask what's up, only for Tomura to CACKLE back with, "ehehAHAH NOTHING!! THAT's just IT!"

They look at each other like, but just let him go about his day. They'll later hear him giggling to himself in his room, and sometimes talking to himself. He'll deny and just tell them he was on chat (his devices are not open and he is standing in the middle of his room).

Because he's not medicated, his mania can trickle into psychotic symptoms. Especially if he's going through more stress than typical. He hears voices that tell him mean things. Sometimes they're the voices of his dead family.

And because he doesn't sleep much, he sees detailed shadows and things moving that aren't. It disturbs him, but he accepts it and tries to just push on. But sometimes if he hears voices more than he'd like, he gets sad and has to grip his head and whisper "shut up shut up shut up" to negate them.

He's delusional, too. AFO's grooming and constant monitoring of his whole life have definitely emphasized his distrust of everything around him. Sometimes he'll think that the people he's gaming with online are secret hero spies trying to get him to reveal himself. He also has a fear that someone is watching him in every location, and he'll think that even the silliest things are cameras or microphones, or that those around him are also spies. Later on, it becomes paranoia that his master is everywhere.

Then comes the doom of depression

For Tomura, he's technically always depressed. But when he goes into a depressive episode, he's pretty lifeless.

He's complacent about his goals. Sometimes he'll get a tiny idea that makes his brain go !, but then he thinks of all the planning behind it and immediately slouches down on any nearby furniture

He'll lay in bed for a long period of time doing nothing. Sometimes he'll try to play a game on his phone but he gets bored quick.

Tends to eat more during this time because it's the only joy he can get. And he gets bored. He is SO BORED

Anhedonia is a bitch

His brain dwells and rambles, yet his thoughts don't make sense to him? He's constantly thinking about how fucked up his life is, how better other villains are, and how much he hates All Might and heroes altogether. He tells himself that if it wasn't for all of that he wouldn't feel this way (relating to the depressive episode).

It overwhelms him and he tries to sleep it off, but he's somehow so depressed that he's UNCOMFORTABLE. His itching gets bad.

He is very suicidal during this time and hurts himself to try and subside it. If you asked him his reason for living, he'd tell you "to see this world crumble." But he's too busy crumbling in his bed.

Psychotic symptoms can occur during his depression, too. Especially if he hasn't slept.

His lack of medication usually causes him to swap back to mania somewhat soon (2 months or so). He definitely has rapid cycles.

Because his condition isn't managed, his brain is sort of in an in-an-out stance when it comes to his literal sanity. He has moments where he can definitely be level-headed (he gets rrly confident when he notices it) but when his anger and stress fuel him more than usual, he spirals and quite literally sees red. Sometimes he can't even tell if he's dreaming or not. Often mistakes the date and day of the week.

:(

I might write a fic of the reader comforting bipolar tomura. I don't think I've ever seen a fic like that for any character.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki tomura headcanons #tomura shigaraki #tenko shimura #shigaraki headcanons #bipolar shigaraki #the league of villains #shiggy #shigaraki x reader

[the-shinysnorlax]

One thing I don’t really see people talk about enough when it comes to Roy Harper is his fear of abandonment.

Anytime I see something about the Titans or whatever group he’s in disband or considering it, Roy is the most vocal voice.

And I mean, why shouldn’t he? Ollie abandoned him when he needed it most. Jason abandoned him after red hood/arsenal. Even the titans, his closest friends, disbanded and abandoned him at a time of need. So many friends and family left him in hard times in his life.

Granted, they all did apologize and make amends (Except Jason didn’t apologize but I’m just chalking that up to shitty writing like the rest of *that* era of Roy) but Roy will forever have a fear that all his friends will just leave him behind like how everyone else has his entire fucking life.

And I feel like it’s not really shown in the comics cause well. Roy’s really good at masking his emotions.

We really only see him show his fears in Arsenal (In a flashback) and it was when he was in an extremely emotional and vulnerable state.

Keep in mind, Roy was much younger in this scene (At most probably only 18) and so much more has happened since then that this fear has escalated, most likely to the point where he has some major trust issues.

I feel like this fear of Roy’s isn’t really explored on a lot within the fandom (Probably cause a lot of people focus on N52 Roy which guys please no) which is such a shame cause there is some great angst potential here (Writers TAKE NOTES)

#Snorlax rambles #dc comics #roy harper #arsenal dc #my Roy playlist is a lot of angsty songs about this exact topic #it’s such an underrated part of Roy’s character that I don’t really see explored much on

[gunnerfc]

We Can't Both Win | Cloé Lacasse x Reader

Man City v Arsenal in the semi-finals of the Conti Cup, arsenal wins (cue the angsty) then Arsenal wins the Conti Cup and the reader can’t help but be happy for Cloé

WC: 2032

based on a request!

Warnings: none other than a little angst but there's a happy ending!

partially inspired by ENG v NED / Beth v Viv but in a less high stakes game that doesn't involve the olympics lol

Getting to the semi-finals for the Conti Cup in your first season with Manchester City was exciting. You just had one game until you reached the final and hopefully, a trophy to show for the season you were having with Man City. The one downfall of this semi-final was that your opponent was Arsenal, but more importantly, your girlfriend, Cloé. 

Sitting in the City locker room at the Emirates waiting for everyone to get dressed for warm-ups, you tried your hardest to focus on prepping for the game. With each thought of the game, a different thought of Cloé quickly replaced it. You knew one of you would be walking away with a loss and the other would be playing for the Conti Cup trophy. 

You were so in your head that you hadn’t noticed that your teammates had started filtering out of the locker room. It wasn’t until Alex called your name with a light tap on your shoulder that you snapped out of your thoughts. With a little shake of your head in an attempt to refocus, you stood and followed the defender out onto the pitch. 

In the middle of taking a practice free kick, the stadium got louder as the Arsenal players took the field to start their own warm-ups. You took a quick glance as they started stretching, looking for your blonde girlfriend, but quickly looked away when she made eye contact with you, as she was looking for you as well. You wanted your team to win, but you also wanted your girlfriend to do well and not be upset over a loss. You continued your warm-ups, sparing a look in your girlfriend’s direction every so often and catching her staring in your direction each time. As warm-ups finished and both teams made their way back to get ready for the game, you felt a hand brush yours as someone walked past you. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was, but still turned to your left, finding Cloé giving you the same look you were sure you had given her during warm-ups.

“Good luck today, y/n/n.” the blonde reassured as she gave your hand a quick squeeze before following her teammates into their locker room. 

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as you entered the locker room, quick to get dressed and ready to join the other starters. After a few encouraging words from a few players and your coach, you were lined up waiting to walk out on the pitch. You took it upon yourself to have a little chat with your mascot while waiting, wanting to be nice and use it as a distraction tool. When the conversation was finished, the Arsenal players had joined City in the tunnel and of course, your girlfriend was across from you. You turned to meet her eyes, mouthing a “you too” knowing she would understand it was in response to her words of encouragement earlier.

When the whistle blew for the game to start, you could tell this was going to be a long ninety-plus minutes. The game went back and forth, with no one getting a shot on target despite both teams having decent opportunities to break the deadlock. After a long forty-five minutes, the ref finally blew the halftime whistle. You weren’t doubting your teammates but knew that if everyone didn’t pick it up, you were going to lose this match. The messages at halftime echoed your thoughts and your team knew that they had to put in a lot of work in the next forty-five. 

The second half started the same way the first ended, both teams having chanced but not capitalizing off them. It wasn’t until a failed Man City corner in the 70th minute that Arsenal got the ball and took the opening they saw. With a quick pass from Katie McCabe to Kim Little the ball was back in your half. A pass from Little to your girlfriend who was quick to put the ball in the back of the net to give the Gunners a 1-0 lead. Part of you was ecstatic for Cloé and her goal, but the other half of you hated being down a goal. The next twenty minutes were going to require a lot of work from your team if you wanted to stay in this game.

As the clock ticked closer to ninety, the score line remained the same, Cloé’s goal being the different maker. It was in the 87th minute when City were given a free kick within scoring range, an opportunity to make the score line equal again. You stepped up to take the kick, it was almost a carbon copy of the free kick you took during warm-ups. You had a pretty good conversion rate this season so it came as a surprise when the ball just barely hit the crossbar, sending it over the goal. Your hands immediately shot up to hold your head, disappointment in yourself settling in.

With five minutes of added time, Arsenal was smart and knew to run the time down until the final whistle blew. When that finally came and the stadium erupted in cheers for the home side, you fell to your knees, feeling like you had let your teammates down. You could feel the presence of two of your teammates on either side of you, trying to offer some sort of comfort but it fell on deaf ears as you tuned them out. They let you be as they went to shake hands with the Gunners, their spot being immediately replaced by your Canadian girlfriend.

“You played so well, baby.” Cloé’s attempts to comfort you were met with a scoff from your lips. You looked up to meet her eyes, shrugging her hands off your shoulders. 

“I missed an easy fucking shot, I don't think that’s considered “playing well.” you snapped, your anger and disappointment taking over your rational thinking. 

Cloé’s eyes widen in surprise at your tone, you’ve never spoken to her in that way before. You went to stand up, forcing the blonde to do the same. You quickly stuck your hand to offer a quick fist bump, mumbling a “good game” before leaving her standing alone in the middle of the pitch. Her teammates were quick to replace you, wanting to celebrate their goalscorer who helped secure their spot in the final.

You knew it was unreasonable to be upset at Cloé, you knew at least one of you was going to be going home and the other to the final. But your disappointment in yourself overshadowed any reasonable thinking. You ignored most of your teammates in the locker rooms, quickly showering and changing into something comfortable. You were the first on the team bus, claiming a seat in the back, putting your headphones on to drown out the world. 

You didn’t mean to give Cloé the cold shoulder for a week, ignoring her texts and declining her calls. Once you made it back to the hotel that night, you were still wallowing in defeat, hating that you missed the free kick. However, in the morning you were more upset at yourself for how you spoke to your girlfriend, instantly regretting it. You weren’t sure how to make it up to her and in hindsight, practically ignoring her probably was not the best decision. 

Which is how you found yourself sitting in the stands for the Conti Cup final, donning a red and white “Lacasse 24” kit. Cloé wasn’t starting this match, so she hadn’t been able to see where you were sitting, which was closely behind the Arsenal subs. It wasn’t until a few players stood to run through a couple of warm-ups on the sidelines did the blonde threw a glace towards the stands hoping to see you somewhere.

When your eyes met, you gave her a small, hesitant wave. All you got in response was a small smile before she was pulled away. 

Arsenal were tied two-two against Manchester United at halftime. With the players back in the locker rooms, you were tempted to send Cloé a quick text, though you were unsure of what to say right now. However before you could decide on what to say, a text from the blonde popped up on your phone: “thank you for being here x.” A small smile graced your face, sending a quick “of course x.” knowing that the conversion you needed to have needed to be in person and that you didn’t have time at the moment. 

Cloé was subbed on at the break, coming in to replace Caitlin Foord who picked up a small knock in the first half. Every time your girlfriend had the ball, you were on your feet, ready to celebrate if she socred. A goal for the Canadian came in the 72nd minute and you were sure you were the loudest person cheering. Her goal would be the game-winning goal if everything were to remain the same. As the Arsenal players surrounded your girlfriend to celebrate, the Arsenal supporters started singing her song and you couldn’t feel prouder of her. When her teammates let go of her, Cloé found your eyes again, this time sending you a wink. A light blush dusted your cheeks, blowing her a kiss.

The scoreline remained at 3-2 until the final whistle blew, your girlfriend with the game-winning goal. You couldn’t help the big smile that took over as you watched the blonde celebrate with her teammates. A small feeling of regret once again washed over you, upset at yourself for how you acted for the past week. You watched on as Arsenal were given their medals and lifted the Conti Cup trophy, your disappointment growing, knowing the longer you went without apologizing, the more it would grow.

As Arsenal players made their way towards the stands to greet their families and friends, you stayed in your spot, not knowing if the Canadian wanted to celebrate with you. You didn’t have much time to think before your girlfriend was jumping into your arms, wrapping her arms around your neck. Your arms were quick to wrap around her waist, trying to keep the two of you balanced. Your arms tightened around the blonde before you whispered “I'm sorry” in her ear. 

Cloé pulled her head away from where it was placed on your shoulder, she could tell by the look in your eyes that you meant it and she could see the regret that was still lingering written across your face. The blonde let out a content sigh, giving you a quick kiss on your cheek before saying “I know.” 

“I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you. I was upset at my performance and I took it out on you when all you were trying to was comfort me.”  You apologized, not wanting to go too far into it, knowing you were still surrounded by a lot of people. 

“I know, I hate losing too, especially in a game like that. But I meant it when I said you played well. Yes, the free kick didn’t go in but it was because of you that there was only one goal for us. You made it so much harder for us with your defending.” Even when you were supposed to be the one comforting her, she made sure to help take away some of your insecurities. 

“We can talk about it more at home later, but right now I want to go celebrate with the girls and with you. Please?” The blonde asked, wanting to make up for the week of no contact. 

You quickly nodded, wanting to do anything she asked to make it up to her. A big smile appeared across both of your faces, Cloé’s leaning in for a quick kiss before you let her go so she could go shower and change before heading out for whatever celebrations the Gunners had planned. You knew you had a week to make up for and had a lot more apologizing to do but you were glad that your girlfriend was as understanding as she was.

#woso x reader #awfc x reader #canwnt x reader #cloé lacasse x reader #cloé lacasse

[doormuncher3]

Ch 2

Warings: Lots of angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Mentions of sex, Fingering, Thigh Riding, Praise.

Link to Ch 1 : https://www.tumblr.com/doormuncher3/736411453167484928/youre-scared-and-overwhelmed-youve-been-waiting?source=share

It's been 3 weeks since she left and she's the only thought consuming your mind. It was 5am you lay on her side of your large cold bed. You didn't sleep well just like every other day this week. Your eye bags, dry lips and  red eyes are remnants of how much of a mess you were without her. You laid on the bed wearing her sweater for warmth, but mostly because it held her smell.

You could see the gray melancholic sky through your old casement windows from where you laid. Your window wide open lets the cold breeze from outside into the room. From where you laid you could see the vast open grounds and the trees in the distance. Your home was a small way out of the city. Although not remote it was built on a spacious piece of land. You and Ambessa picked it out right before she proposed. You wanted to be outside the city closer to nature and she just wanted to see you happy.

As you laid there under your thick white covers thoughts coursed through your mind, hard to subdue. Horrible questions about her tormented you. "was she was hurt?", "or captured?" or "even dea-"

"My lady" A gentle voice came from the door frame interrupting your awful thoughts. "How are you doing today?"

You didn't get up to look as you knew it was only Marissa, your lady's maid. After Ambessa left she sent over more  guards to look after you and most importantly keep you inside the house where it was safe. With them came a short young woman who was charged with taking care of your daily needs.

You never had anyone to look after you before. Although you grew up in a well off family and had everything you needed at your disposal you were never fond of the idea of having luxuries like personal maids. The thought turned you off ever since childhood. Being the daughter of an ambassador you were forced to mingle with Noxian elites who would not shy away from displaying the arsenal of staff at their disposal whenever you'd go to their over the top galas and homes. This overt display of pompous grandeur made you uneasy to say the least.

That was until you were stuck with Marissa.

"I- I was meaning to ask if you wanted a bath run my lady, it's quite cold and I thought it might warm you up a bit" She spoke in a  soft voice.

"Im fine, thank you Marissa" You quietly affirmed

"Would you like some breakfast brought up then?" She inquired and before you could answer you were met with the loud blaring sound of a horn and the noise of guards running towards the front gates. You sprung out of bed running to the window facing the courtyard and yanking it open to see what this was all about. You saw men scrambling to open the gates and that's when it hit you.

She was back. You ran out of the room and out of the house arriving at the large entrance  to see the wooden gates finally open and reveal your lover. She stood there wearing a black mock neck without the sleeves, her arms harboring a number of new wounds and cuts, she wore the same pants she left in with her sword on her hip.

You walked up to her with determination, your breath caught in your throat, and she stayed still waiting for your arrival. As you came to a stop you could now see the exhaustion she harbored. Her face pale with a fresh cut on the corner of her left brow. She looked at you with hooded lids staring into your eyes. She leaned down slowly into the crook of your neck and before you could process her presence she lost consciousness dropping forwards onto her knees. You fell on your knees with her trying desperately to hold her up with your hands on either side of her ribs.

You could feel the blood saturating your hands as you tried to hold her up while screaming for help. Her head laying in the crook of your neck exhaling soft shallow breaths. Two guards quickly rushed to you both, picked her up, and moving to drape her arms over their shoulders guiding her quickly inside.

The guards holding her barged into the kitchen laying her down on a large wooden table, you followed in with 3 other guards. They cut her shirt off, exposing the large bandage on her torso. The awful scent of blood filled the room, the saturated bandages on her torso now crimson red. They proceeded to cut open the badges and that's when you were confronted with the large gash on her abdomen. You were in a state of shock standing by the door, unable to hear anything but muffled noise and unable to see anything but her body laying on that table.

A soldier started applying pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. That's when Marissa came in jolting you out of your haze.

"I called for the physician he'll be here in 10 minutes" she exclaimed out of breath

Those 10mins felt like hell as you stood there watching soldiers scramble to change the gauze they held over her wound, the blood seemingly endless. You were helpless watching from behind them. You were not built for this. You were built for a life of politics and discourse. A life of pleasantries and agreement. A life where you didn't feel like the world was constantly crumbling beneath your feet.

The doctor came in hurriedly dropping his black bag on the ground as he moved the soldiers out of the way asking for one to heat up any piece of metal he could find and for the others to fetch some more gauze and water.

"You four come and hold her arms and legs down!" he demanded to which the soldiers obeyed without question

He then took the red hot dagger handed to him and proceeded to sear the open wound shut. And as soon as he touched her skin with the red hot iron Ambessa jolted awake a guttural scream leaving her. The soldiers scrambled to contain her movements as she tried to break free. After a minute she passed out again from the shock and the doctor stopped.

It was 9pm when Ambessa woke up again. She looked around the room before trying to sit up straight, feeling a jolt of pain on her left side and opting not to. She looked to her right to be confronted by your sleeping form. You laid your head on the mattress right beside her semi bandaged arm while you sat on a chair. She looked at you for a second before proceeding to run her hand through your hair moving the hair out of your face for a better view.

You woke up feeling her touch, startled by the feeling you jerked up, to be greeted by a small smile on her chapped lips.

"Come here my love~" she cooed at you in her hoarse voice. Opening her semi bandaged right arm to let you into her embrace. You quietly slipped into her side, logging your face into the crook of her neck starting to cry from relief. She ran her hand up and down your back as she felt your tears and heard your sniffles.

After a while you both settled into a comfortable silence, then she spoke up.

"You were the only thing on my mind, you're always the only thing on my mind~" she whispered in your ear continuing to rub your back. Then moved her head to look at the seling. You lifted your head slightly looking at her, tears staining your face and your eyes red. You stared at her face for a couple of seconds, and feeling your eyes on her she turned to look at you.

There was a moment of silence as you stared at each other, before you reached towards her your hands carefully now holding her face. Your eyes were half lidded and your breath shaky, finally meeting her soft lips in a gentle kiss.

The kiss progressed into a hungry makeout session, fueled by your lust for eachother, you could feel yourself getting wetter by the minute. You were touchstarved to say the least, unable to contain yourself.

Ambessa herself couldn't hold back, opting to slide her left hand up the back of your thigh groping the plump flesh of your ass, while her right hand crept up the inside of your sweater feeling up the skin of your back. The feeling of her hands made your breath hitch a harsh exhale coming out of your nose.

You were insatiable. Vivid memories of the times when her calloused hands traveled all over your body, the way her long thick fingers would tease you, the way they felt inside you as you cried for her to give you more, flooding your mind.

She promptly moved her right hand towards your chest, now playing with your perked nipples.

"Fuck,a- ambessa" You broke away from her mouth to moan out her name bucking your hips on the large thigh, you had subconsciously straddled.

You released her face and positioned your hands on either side of her head, raising your upper body up. She grinned at you, taking  this as an invitation to move both her hands and start working on your breasts pinching,tugging, and needing at the flesh.

“Are you enjoying yourself my love~” she asked with a smirk on her face pulling at your nipples harder making your head fall back, your eyes rolling into your head and shutting as you exhaled a guttural moan. 

Chuckling at the sight ambessa moved her right hand slowly down your abdomen reaching the seam of your pajamas and shoving her hand into your soaked underwear.

She met the wet hot heat of your cunt groaning deeply at the feeling of you at her fingertips.  

“Did you miss me this much my love, is this really all just for me?” She asked lust dripping from her voice, her face amused and turned on by your reaction.

“Y-Yes, for you!” You stuttered out. Your mind empty, consumed by the unrelenting pleasure. 

She kept a brutal pace on your clit. Your hips bucking on her hand, and your moans getting louder. She moves her nimble fingers gathering enough of your slick to massaging your entrance.

“D-Don't tease, ple-se mngh!” you exhaled, and with a small hum ambessa complied, shoving her long thick fingers into you with a savage trust. Your head dropped onto her shoulder with a scream of her name. Back arching and your thighs shaking with pleasure. Her pace was picking up she stretched you out on her thick index and middle fingers pumping in and out of you filling your sopping heat. 

“Mngh p-please oh my god!” you screamed as she rubbed your clit with her tumb.

“Look at me when you cum, pretty girl” She whispered into your ear making you shudder.

And you complied eyes half lidded you raised your head up to look at her. The speed of her thrusts were hard and slow working in an unbroken rhythm that had you going crazy. She stared into your eyes, mesmerized by you, her own arousal growing from the fucked out expression on your face.

“That's my good girl” She spoke, and you walls clenched on her thick fingers as she fucked you with reckless abandon finally sending you over the edge, screaming out and cumming all over her fingers, before you collapsed on her chest. A shaking mess.

Thank you all for reading!! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments :)

#ambessa x reader #ambessa medarda #arcane #angst with a happy ending

[tsukimefuku]

❅ Sand and Snow | Chapter 4

ALL CHAPTERS HERE | PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE.

In the city of Odate, Akita, there have been multiple deaths in the past few weeks. The first-grade sorcerer Nanami Kento is sent out to investigate the snowy city, not knowing that it would be his last mission as a Jujutsu High student.

OR

Why Nanami left Jujutsu High to become a 9/5 corporate slave.

Tags: Murder/mystery, canon typical violence, POV Nanami, Post Star-plasma Vessel Arc, Canon compliant, Angst but I'm not Gege

Gojo and Nanami shenanigans ensue. They find out more about the Yamadas.

WC: 3.4K | on AO3 here.

The curse-user had claimed yet another victim, 28-year-old woman Takahashi Mio. Given that the killings were timely spread apart, Gojo and Nanami decided it was best if they went alone to investigate this latest death. Gojo provided Shiori with his burner phone number, just in case.

"So, Nanami, could you get me up to speed on what is going on?" Gojo asked.

"Didn't you speak to Yaga principal? I've been giving him daily reports."

"No."

How could the supposedly strongest jujutsu sorcerer of our age not get any information about the mission before he got here? Gojo's irresponsibility was particularly bothersome for Nanami most of the time.

"And did you talk to Ijichi?"

"Oh, that I certainly did! Before yesterday, actually!" 

Nanami remembered Ijichi's demeanor on the phone. "Well, did you threaten him in any way?" He asked.

"I strongly suggested he didn't report his findings to you on Jujutsu High's phone anymore." Gojo grinned.

Earlier that day, when they were at Shiori's house, Ijichi relayed to Nanami all of his findings about the Yamada family. Obtaining this information was particularly difficult, because Jujutsu High's archives that he could search did not offer a lot of information about the family, something that was unusual, so Ijichi faced a little more digging around than he was accustomed to.

Gojo helped (with a healthy dose of strong encouragement called "try to look in forbidden or somewhat classified archives" right before he left).

According to Ijichi, the Yamadas did not have the best relationship with the Jujutsu Society established by Tengen and frequented by the clans. The Yamadas didn't even consider themselves as a clan, given they wouldn't keep most of their jujutsu traditions or preserve their name during the centuries, and started to spread as non-sorcerers throughout Japan, while most of them stayed within Akita's prefecture. Those that remained were mostly the ones born jujutsu sorcerers.

It seemed that the main reason the Yamadas and Jujutsu Society did not get along was because Yamadas never surrendered their cursed objects or tools to them for safe keeping. There was one object worth noting, specifically, that the Jujutsu Society was keen on having, as it involved the ability to guard cursed objects, tools, and nearly anything with cursed energy above a certain threshold in a very convoluted way. Ijichi didn't quite find what it was, unfortunately, and questioning Shiori served little to no purpose for that matter.

Nanami was starting to suspect Shiori might've been withholding information.

And about her parents, they were apparently the most well respected members of the family up until their disappearance, serving as the informal leaders of the Yamadas. They had twins, Shiori and Shiro, both born with the ability to see curses and manipulate cursed energy.

"Could this object be like Toji's cursed spirit? The one that kept his arsenal?"

Gojo went silent for a moment. "Yes."

Even though Gojo's silence was usually something Nanami longed for during most of their interchanges, this was actually sorrowful. He felt bad for Satoru and the memories that might've evoked.

"So, we are working with the hypothesis that this is a mission for retrieving cursed objects, and not actually exorcizing anything or capturing anyone?" Nanami said.

"No!" Gojo promptly answered. "Nanamin, quiz time!"

"You don't know anything about quizzes." This roundabout way Satoru had of getting his points across was incredibly obnoxious. Nanami wasn't feeling so empathetic anymore.

"What were we sent to do in Odate?" Gojo asked, with a child-like smile on his face.

"What I was sent to do while you were unavailable was to investigate these deaths and deal with what was causing them."

"Correct! We were sent to do just that!"

Nanami sighed. "Ok."

"Next question: what is the probable cause of these deaths?"

Nanami was questioning if this was actually leading anywhere.

"A curse user, most likely."

"Correct again!" Satoru responded like he was in a trivia TV show.

Nanami put his fingers in between his eyes, fighting an emerging headache as they walked in the streets of Odate. "Can you please just say what you're thinking?"

"I'm teaching my underclassman!" 

"I do not respect you as my upperclassman."

"I need to train my teaching skills!"

Nanami dreaded the image of Gojo Satoru being a teacher, as that implied he'd be the most responsible person in the room — that room being a classroom.

Gojo proceeded, "We're here to capture a curse user and take him in for questioning, preferably. What does that tell you about what Jujutsu High wants from us?"

That they want us to take this curse user to them, who probably knows how to find the actual object of their interest, Nanami completed in his head.

"I see your point. What is your plan, then?" Nanami asked Gojo.

Some girls were walking by and started commenting on "the tall guy with white hair". Gojo lowered his glasses and winked. The girls went mad. One of them fainted. Nanami sighed heavily.

"We get to that object first and retrieve that. I'd like to know what it is and how it works. Information is important, you know?" He answered, pushing his pitch black glasses back into position.

Gojo seemed like an uninterested idiot at times, yet he was definitely not dumb, nor easily manipulated by Jujutsu High's leadership.

"Hey, Nanamin!"

"Stop calling me that."

"We should go eat after we finish this, I heard they have the best Kiritanpo here in Odate!"

Nanami sighed, yet again, for Gojo had started with his foodie shenanigans. At least the cold breeze helped with the headache.

As they approached the scene, the same hectic scenery ensued. The building was surrounded by curious people, some news reporters, and the entrance had police tape around it. 

"Gojo, we should check the perimeter first. Last time this happened, the curse user got away from me."

"Sure. I teleport myself in, and you go and do your checking."

It actually was a good plan.

"Fine." Before Nanami finished the word, Satoru had already vanished. He then started walking around the building to look for any suspicious activity, or even the motorcycle. There was not much going on other than what he had seen already, and no trace of cursed activity on the outside, so he decided he would simply wait around and see what Gojo found.

However, as he was about to just sit and wait, he saw something. Haru, that fox from the first day, was right on the other side of the street, looking at the apartment complex.

What is going on?

Nanami started walking towards the animal, but as soon as Haru saw him, it just bolted away. Given that it was not anything of importance, He decided to let it go and keep waiting for Gojo to come back.

"I'm done!" Satoru said, as he appeared back right beside Nanami. "Found some interesting things. Let's take a look."

First, he took out a small wooden box, just like the one that was in Nakamura's office. It had cursed energy traces all over it. 

"I've seen one of those before, at the last murder scene." Nanami said.

"You have? Well, how about this?" Gojo said, as he took some papers out of his pocket. He figured that if the last victim was a Yamada that had changed his surname, this was also a possibility in this case. And he was right.

The high school conclusion certificate read Yamada Mio.

"This is concerning".

"Definitely." Gojo responded. He then took his burner phone and called Ijichi. "Ijichi, we have a request. Search all the victims, see if they've changed their names and were previously Yamadas. Also, please, check similar death's throughout Japan in the past few months."

"Last three months." Nanami said.

Gojo looked at him. "Last three months" he said before hanging up. "Why that time frame?" He asked, looking straight at Nanami.

"Come. Let's have lunch. I'll fill you in."

***

"So, this lady is pretty sus, huh?" Gojo said, as he had three kiritanpo rice sticks stuffed in his mouth.

"She doesn't seem like a bad person." Nanami responded.

Gojo thought about it. "You're usually not a bad judge of character" he said, as he pulled the three sticks out of his mouth at the same time, completely scraped clean and started talking with his mouth full. "But someone can be a good person and still do bad things. People find all sorts of justifications for their shit." He wasn't wrong.

"There are some things that are not adding up." Nanami pondered. 

"What about this brother? Have they not contacted the police or anything about his disappearance?" Gojo grabbed three rice sticks simultaneously.

"Apparently, they haven't. But that could be explained by the fact that he probably would be dealing with cursed spirits involved in their parents’ disappearance. His sister seemed aware of that possibility." Nanami grabbed a single rice stick and started eating at a normal rate.

"I see." Gojo responded with his mouthful of rice. "Hey, Nanami..." his tone shifted to a more serious one. Nanami noticed it.

"What?"

"How is this mission working out for you?" He lowered his glasses so he could look directly into Nanami's eyes as he waited for a response.

Nanami contemplated if he really had an answer for that question, as he started to speak without really knowing what would come out of his mouth. "At first, it was angering to see they'd put me up for another mission that seemed above my capacities." He meditated for a moment. "But I'm fine now. I simply want to finish this mission. Why?"

Gojo smiled. "Nothing. It's nice to see you still have a good head on your shoulders." He said, giving Nanami a little tap on his back as he got up. "Well, let's detective Conan this!"

Satoru was back to using references. Nanami was not pleased.

Gojo's phone rang, and he picked it up. It was Ijichi. Satoru's demeanor went from playful to serious, as he said, "ok. Thanks for letting me know." and ended the call. "We have to go back to that house now."

"Why is that?" Nanami asked.

"All the victims were Yamadas". Gojo answered, as he put his phone away. "If my thinking is right..."

"She could actually be the next target."

***

As they got back to the house, the sky grew grayer. The sun was about to set, and they knew they had to question Shiori for real this time. Nanami knocked on the door, but before Shiori could open it after unlocking, Gojo just barged in screaming Good evening!

"Hey, guys! You're back." She said, greeting them with a smile and feeling startled as a giant dude with white hair had just let himself into her house unceremoniously.

"We are." Nanami responded. "And we have some questions for you."

Shiori looked at him somewhat confused. "Let me just feed Haru."

Gojo looked at her confused.

"It's a fox, I feed it sometimes." She clarified.

"Oh."

After Shiori went outside with a bowl of food for the animal, she walked back into the living room, where they were waiting for her. "Well, ok. What would you like to know?"

"Firstly, what you really might know about all these deaths." He answered, bluntly.

She sighed, resigned. "You said something about a venomous shikigami, haven't you? Well, I know something about that."

"What do you know?" He asked. Gojo was just standing in the corner of the room, watching the conversation.

"I know there is a shikigami technique that runs in my family, one where we can summon poisonous creatures. Most of us summoned flying snakes. Some curse users in my family might be the culprit."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Nanami asked.

"I... I don't know." Shiori said as she sat down on a chair, feeling embarrassed. "I've never really been able to trust or rely on anyone other than my brother. And I barely know you!" she said, looking at him. "And we kind of met when you were being a creepy stalker and I had a gun."

"Please, stop saying that." Nanami replied while he sighed.

"Stalker? Gun? What?" Gojo asked, seemingly puzzled.

"And you're from Jujutsu High, on top of it all. I don't know if you're both aware of that, but my family never got along very well with you guys. I never had much of a reason to trust anything you told me." She said.

Nanami stood silent. After all, she wasn't exactly wrong.

Shiori looked at Gojo. "Can you imagine if you came into my house and I said, 'hey, one of my relatives might be the murderer?' What would you do to me, then?" She sighed. "And to be fair, I still don't trust you both completely. So, yeah. What else would you like to know?" 

"Is there any special cursed object in your family?" Nanami asked.

"... Why do you want to know that?" She retorted.

The answer was clearly yes. "These killings might be related to it." Gojo answered from across the room. "The murderer is collecting cursed objects at the crime scenes and leaving these behind." Gojo showed her one of the wooden boxes. 

"Oh, I see."

"Do you know what these are?" He asked.

"Yes."

They were all silent for some time.

"Will you tell us what they are?" Gojo replied.

"No."

Gojo wanted to smack her.

"And you both are 'good guys', I can tell that much. You won't beat me up for information."

She was right. He still wanted to smack her.

"You should know that all the victims were Yamadas." Nanami said. "You could very well be the next target."

She was taken aback. "All of them?"

"All of them." Gojo said, trying to sway her stance from that bit of information.

She considered her options for a moment. "Shit." If she gave them the entire information, they would probably catch the culprit and just leave. She wouldn't be in danger's way anymore, but would probably have to surrender things her parents left her to Jujutsu High. On top of that, her brother was still missing, and after learning that Yamadas were dying left and right, he could possibly be in danger. There was another option. 

"Well, that's life. I can die in my sleep." She shrugged. "But I do have valuable information. I just need you to help me with something first." Shiori said.

"What?" Nanami asked.

"Help me find my brother." These guys, while a dynamic team themselves, were clearly good at their jobs, and she could sense that Gojo was a particularly powerful sorcerer. She knew this was the best — and, maybe, only — bet at finding her missing brother. 

We just got side-quested, Gojo thought, as he groaned and made his way into the kitchen. He hated being pulled into situations he couldn't simply solve by using his powers and beating or exploding things. "Are there any cookies left?"

"Can you both help me find my brother? Please?" She asked, worriedly waiting for an answer.

Nanami and Gojo said "yes" at the same time. Both of them sounded defeated.

"Fine. Then let's get talking. We need to find the remaining Yamadas in town. As much as I want to find my brother, I don't want anybody to die because of that." Shiori said. "There were 9 deaths, right?"

"There were 12, actually." Nanami replied.

"What?" She was very surprised. "What do you mean by twelve deaths?"

"They happened in other cities, with the same M.O." Gojo responded from the kitchen. He sounded like he was munching on something.

"And they were all Yamadas?" She said.

"Yes."

"Well, I need their names, right now." She opened a drawer and grabbed a key. "Come, follow me, you two."

They all went upstairs, following Shiori's lead. She then went inside the main bedroom, which was a little unkempt, and seemed unused for a while now. "Now, where was it...?" She started stomping on the ground, until they heard a hollow board. "Here!" Pulling it up, the woman grabbed a chest and opened it. Inside it, there was a small black notebook. 

Before she could do anything, Gojo grabbed the notebook.

"What the hell?!" She yelled, surprised. Damn, he's fast.

"We need to be absolutely certain you're not withholding important information again." He opened it. There was a huge list of names. The pages were yellowy, and the small notebook seemed pretty old. "What is this?"

"The list of people that might be targets, from what you both have told me. Flip to the last pages, the most recent ones are there."

He did, and instantly read many familiar names under those that were already struck out. Nanami approached and looked at the notebook too. The name "Yamada Itsuki" popped out. 

"Your mother's name is here." He said.

"I know. Let's cross out that, and also everyone that has died. Whoever doesn't have their names crossed will be the next targets."

"And how do you know that?" Gojo asked.

"I just do. You told me that people were dying and getting cursed objects stolen from that box, right?" They stayed silent. "So I'm sure that list is what we need. People usually just change their surnames, and keep their first names. This should be easy enough." 

Nanami and Gojo asked Ijichi to send them the list of all the deceased's names, and after striking out those, there were only 2 names left. Miyuki Yamada and Ayako Yamada. They relayed that information to Ijichi and asked him to search for residents in Odate that went by the names Miyuki and Ayako, who were or had been married.

"Well, now we wait." Gojo said, sitting down and resting his face on his hand.

"I guess." Shiori replied, while her mood shifted. "I'll be going downstairs for now."

She did, while Gojo and Nanami shared a look. Gojo's look meant, what do you think? Nanami said nothing and followed Shiori downstairs. She was sitting at the table, looking very upset and poorly hiding it. Nanami sat beside her and waited to see if she would say anything.

"I just realized something because I'm an idiot, and I'm very angry at myself right now." She said. "If I had trusted you, even if you took me away for questioning or to Jujutsu High, or something else, that woman might still be alive if I helped sooner." Shiori clenched her fists. "I'm such an egotistical idiot."

Nanami realized she was truly saddened and furious at herself because of that.

"You only knew where to look after we told you about the cursed objects being stolen. There was nothing you could have done." Nanami replied.

Shiori looked at him and sighed. "Thank you."

"I just stated a fact." He said.

She smiled, still somewhat upset. "Yeah. I guess so. I was just scared that-" She choked up a little. "That I wouldn't be here for when my brother came back, whenever that happens."

"How do you know if he is still alive?" Nanami asked bluntly.

"Well, you're kind of abrasive sometimes." She replied, smiling. "I just do. I can't explain it to you factually. It's a twin thing. I know he is alive, I'm completely sure."

He wasn't going to question it. As a jujutsu sorcerer, he sure had seen weirder things.

"I want to help when you guys go save those two women." Shiori said, out of the blue.

"You will hinder us. You have no combat training." Nanami pointed out.

"Well, you will follow us no matter what we say, won't you? Just like you did today." Gojo said, as he came down the stairs.

How did he know that? And was he hearing our conversation all this time? "Yes, I will. Exactly like I did today." She answered frankly. There was no point in lying.

"We're not carrying dead weight, and we won't jeopardize this, because people might actually die. Do you understand?" He asked, staring at her. His tone was serious. She felt like he could see through her soul, and it sent shivers down her spine.

The way this man shifts between 'pretty boy' silly demeanor and this menacing aura is eerie, she thought. "I understand. I don't want to put myself or other people in harm's way anymore, but I still want to help."

"Fine. Then, show me what you've got." He said, hiding his eyes back behind his glasses and grinning widely.

End notes:

I started to go down that path where I'm hating everything I write, so it took me forever to be done meddling with this chapter before posting it. Ugh I hate when this happens (hope you enjoyed it, still).

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