#and today her and my mom were talking about how much weight she lost

[atlabeth]

true luck's kiss

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of tyche!reader

summary: luke is stuck with a streak of bad luck. what better way to get rid of it than with a child of tyche?

a/n: so this was supposed to come out on st patrick's day but unfortunately im the slowest writer in the world and ive also been doing nothing but watch basketball because we sleep in may. anyways here's a short fluffy blurb because it is getting way too sad in here with my hurricane fics lmao

wc: 1.2k

warning(s): none, this is all fluff. i know crazy coming from me

You grimaced as you pulled the arrow back. Sweat dripped down your forehead and you itched to brush it away, but you ignored the urge as you let out a deep breath. 

“Just like that.” Kimia nodded as she stopped behind you. “Perfect angle—now let it fly.” 

You did, and the weight lifted off your shoulders once the arrow embedded itself in the center of the target. 

“Ending on a bullseye,” she said with a grin. “Great work.” 

“Only way to do it,” you said, smiling at her. “Am I a worthy opponent yet?” 

She chuckled and patted your shoulder as she moved on. “Maybe one day you’ll be as good as Cabin Seven. Today’s not that day.” 

You shook your head with a laugh and took your quiver off your back. “Keep telling yourself that!”

A bow and arrow had become your weapon of choice since the moment you stepped foot into camp, and you’d gotten good over the years—so much so that it was a surprise when your mother claimed you. One day, though, you would get an Apollo kid to admit you were better than them. 

You’d just finished putting all your equipment away, and when you turned back, you were met with a mess of brown curls and shining eyes.

“Luke,” you said, pleasantly surprised. “Didn’t know you were in archery today.”

He shook his head. “I’m not. I didn’t come here for archery—I came here for you.”

You chuckled as you gestured with your head, and he got the hint as you started walking together. “How forward of you.”

“It’s a living,” he said with a smile. “How was practice?”

“And small talk?” You pressed a hand to your heart and shook your head. “It must be my lucky day.”

Luke’s smile widened as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “That’s what I came to talk to you about, actually. I do wanna hear about your day, though.”

You shrugged. “It was boring. Killed it at archery, nearly got killed on the climbing wall—I was gonna head back to the cabin to chill for a few hours before dinner, but it looks like you’ve taken that slot.” 

He chuckled. “So you are free?” 

“I’ve always got some time to listen to Luke Castellan,” you mused. “What’ve you got?” 

“I’m cursed,” Luke said. 

You stopped in your tracks and looked him right in the eye. “...Cursed.” 

He nodded. “I know it sounds stupid, but it’s gotta be true. I mean, nothing is going right for me. I’ve been off my groove with my sword, I’ve lost every canoe race, I nearly burnt my eyebrows off last time I was in the forge, and my team hasn’t won a game of capture the flag this entire month—” 

“I know,” you interrupted. “I’m in your cabin.” 

“So you know how bad my luck’s been lately!” he exclaimed with a gesture. “It— it was embarrassing, but now it’s just pathetic.” 

“You know I can’t fix it, right?” you said wryly. “I’m not my mom.” 

“That’s what Annabeth said,” Luke mumbled. “But— but I’ve seen the way you live—you’ve got luck on tap! Your strawberries are always the ripest, you somehow find drachmas on the ground, and your volleyball serves are better than anyone’s.”

“I play varsity back home,” you said. “No luck needed.”

“Still,” he emphasized, “you’re naturally lucky. You’ve literally got it in your DNA, and I’m fresh out of it. That’s gotta be worth something.” 

“Not really.” You crossed your arms. “So what do you think I can do about this?” 

Luke shrugged. “I dunno. Say something?" 

You barely managed to stifle a laugh. “Like what?” 

“Pray to Tyche,” he said. “You’re her only kid here—she’s gotta be listening.” 

You bit back your smile as you shook your head. “Fine. Just for you.” 

“Thank you,” Luke sighed, watching with bated breath as you cleared your throat, closed your eyes, and pressed your hands together. 

“Tyche, dearest mother, goddess of luck and fortune—I ask you to shine on Luke Castellan on this day. Smile upon my friend and break his very real curse. If you do this for him, in return, he will do all of my cabin chores for the next month.” 

When you opened your eyes, Luke looked quite unimpressed. “Very funny.” 

“Feel any luckier?” you asked with a smile as you started walking again. 

“I don’t think so,” he said, falling into step with you once more. “Especially because you’re putting conditions in your prayers. I didn’t know we could do that.” 

“My mom has a sense of humor,” you mused. “And I also think I might be her favorite.” 

“Not all of us have that privilege,” he said wryly. Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and he grabbed your arm to stop you.  

“I think I’ve got it,” Luke said. “How about a kiss?” 

Your eyebrows rose, but you couldn’t help showing your amusement. “Now it’s a kiss that’ll break your curse?” 

He shrugged. “Like I said—you’ve got luck in your DNA. Maybe you could pass that along.”  

“Really,” you said dryly. 

“I’ve kinda tried everything,” he said. “A kiss from a lucky and pretty girl is far from the worst option.” 

You chuckled. “You really know how to flatter ‘em.” 

“I try,” he grinned. “Are you up to it?” 

You bit your lip as you looked at Luke. Obviously, he was attractive—you’d always held an appreciation for his curls and the way they would constantly get in his eyes. He cut an impressive figure from constant, year-round training, and he even made the camp shirt look good. And gods, that damned smile got you. 

There were worse things than kissing you, and there were certainly worse things than kissing Luke Castellan. 

“Alright,” you sighed, taking a step forward. “Pucker up, Castellan.” 

Before you could really doubt yourself, you leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t really expecting to actually… like it. 

Your first thought was that Luke’s lips were softer than they had any right to be. Your second thought was that his cologne was the scent always floating around the Hermes cabin. You didn’t really mind, though. 

Luke gently put his hand on the back of your head to keep you there, and the moment lasted much longer than you initially planned. You also didn’t mind, though your thoughts were far more muddled than they should’ve been when you finally managed to pull away. He seemed to have a gift for that. 

You felt your cheeks flush as you looked at him, not even trying to hide your smile. Turns out kissing Luke Castellan was actually pretty great. “Feel any luckier?” 

“Yeah,” he said with a soft grin, his eyes twinkling. You wondered if he had the same thought about you. “Yeah. I really do.” 

“I think that means it’s worked, then,” you said. 

Luke nodded with mock austerity. “We should probably stick together for the rest of the week, though. Just to make sure this bad luck goes away for good.” 

“You might be right,” you said. “And uh— you think you need an extra boost?” You glanced away as you bit back your smile. “Just to be safe and all. To really get rid of this curse.” 

“You know,” he drew your attention back to him as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and you leaned in closer. “I think I might.” 

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan fic #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #pjo x reader #x reader #sadie writes

[indigoflorals]

hello! i love your work and i dont know if your comfortable writing this but basically reader likes jj a lot and one day she accidentally sees jj and a touron having sex, so she avoids jj for some time and then jj and reader have an argument about that then she admits she likes him? if you are not comfortable you dont have to! thank you <3

envy (18+)

JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: You see JJ hooking up with another girl. He proves to you that you’re the only girl he’s interested in.

Warnings: oral sex(fem), angsty feelings, Slight voyeurism, overstimulation

꧁༺ ༻꧂

How could he?

It was supposed to be you that night in his room. It was your movie night. You spent every Friday night together and this week wasn’t supposed to be any different.

Yet, when you arrived at JJ’s house, there was a car parked outside that you didn’t recognize. You approached with caution (like you normally did with JJ), opening and closing his front door with near silence.

That voice.

It was indistinguishably female, and you, unfortunately, recognized it. One of the tourons at the beach today had taken a particular liking in your blond friend, following him like a lost dog for much of the morning.

Then came the moans. And oh did you gag at JJ’s sorry attempts at sexy talk. It was like you really were hearing something you were never meant to in a million years.

You spun on your heals with a huff, having heard plenty. He was stringing you along and know you knew it. Your friends were right. JJ Maybank was a player who had no intentions of making you anything more than a hookup.

—

The next morning your phone exploded with texts from him. All more apologetic than the last. You chose not to respond.

Fuck I’m sorry I missed movie night, huh? -J 08:32

Is everything okay? I’m really sorry I know you were looking forward to it -J 09:27

I just had some shit going on last night and totally forgot. I’ll make it up to you - J 10:17

You knew he was aware of just how angry you were, he just didn’t know why. You almost never ignored his texts.

A knock on your bedroom door pulled you from your phone screen, and blue eyes met yours.

“Hey, your mom let me in, I was worried about you.” The blond unlaced his boots, placing them beside your dresser before sitting on the edge of your bed.

You turned away. “Go home, JJ. I’m not doing this anymore.”

He laughed nervously. “Jeez, I didn’t know you were that excited about movie night.”

“I saw you.” You blurted out, unable to hold it in any longer. “I showed up, and you were…with her.”

Silence filled the air now he tended.

“Look I—“

You turned to face him, waving your hand at his attempt to salvage the situation. “Save it, JJ. I thought maybe we had something. I thought maybe you liked me. Obviously I was being fucking naive.”

“We did! Well, we do, I hope.” He blurted out, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I couldn’t fuck her, and believe me, I tried—“

“Okay! Don’t wanna hear that.” You swatted at his face. “But why?”

“You.” He smiled, scooting to pull you into an embrace. You didn’t refuse. “She just wasn’t you. And I have never in my life not been able to have sex so I’m gonna need you to—“

“JJ.” You glared.

“Right,” He smiled, getting back to his original point, “What I’m saying is I didn’t think you felt the same so I tried to move on and I can’t.”

You sighed audibly, leaning into his embrace. “You are so stupid, JJ Maybank.”

Your best friend squeezed you tighter. “You’re not the first to say that and you won’t be the last.”

“Yeah yeah,” You leaned forward, pulling him into a gentle kiss. His lips were softer than you had imagined, and he tasted like weed.

He moaned almost inaudibly into your mouth, scooping you to his waist and standing you up with him. His hands were on your ass now, squeezing it while using it to support your weight in his arms.

Without breaking the kiss, he placed you gently on your back with your head in your pillows.

The blond pulled away, leaning down to kiss at the exposed skin of your inner thighs. “Let me make it up to you, okay?”

“Mmm fine.” You lifted a hand to run it through his hair. “She did sound like she was having a good time.”

JJ flashed a smile, eyes locking with yours as he pulled your shorts and panties down to expose your pussy in front of his face. “Oh you liked what you heard, then? Wished it was you?”

You groaned in embarrassment, covering your face with your hand. “JJ Maybank I swear to god I—“

Your complaints were cut short as he took your clit into his mouth, eliciting a loud moan from you. This made him eager to hear more and more.

He sucked at the sensitive bud, licking and kissing as you bucked your hips into his face. “J, fuck that’s so good.”

You could feel his hand snake up underneath you, his fingers prodding at your soaking hole. Without protest, he slipped two inside. Your back arched as he fingered you in a ‘come hither’ motion.

Fisting his hair, you came against his lips with a silent scream, and he moaned into your pussy. Fingers curled against you g-spot, he didn’t relent until you were squirming from overstimulation.

He released your clit with a quick kiss, and you squirmed at the feeling. He laughed at the sight.

“You’re so beautiful like this, you know. Should’ve just risked it a long time ago.”

You felt warmth creep up to your cheeks at the compliment. “Oh stop. You probably say that same line to every girl you do this with.”

“No, they’re not like you. Nothing like you.” He brushed a hair behind your ear. “Now let me clean you up.”

#outer banks #outerbanks #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #obx imagine #obxhub #obx jj #obx netflix #obx2 #obx season 3 #obx smut #drew starkey obx #obx #obx cast #obx fic

[pedrithink]

love is not easy (2) ✩ kylian mbappé

summary: everything seems more difficult when you are the shadow of your older sister and Kylian and her are in love with each other.

notes: don’t worry, it will have a part 3 (with happy ending) :)

@nightlockcornucopia @gaviandgrizisgirl @blubffsd @philipetchebest @sunnytkm23 @topguncultleader @http-isabela @bisexualbith @laylaynaynay130 @lovekm

(part 1) / (part 3)

Ky <3: Hey, are we going out tonight? There's a new pizza restaurant that opened and I want to eat all the new flavors with you.

You: I can't today, sorry.

Ky <3: Oh.

Ky <3: Another time then.

Ky <3: HEEEY, pretty. I have tickets to see the Beauty and the Beast musical. Let's go?

You: Hey, Ky. Sorry, but I have to review for the exam.

Ky <3: Oh, got it.

Ky <3: How about we go for some sushi tonight?

You: I've already made an appointment with a friend :/ Maybe another day. Seen.

Ky <3: Ice cream Saturday?

You: Not today, Kylian.

You: Sorry!

Ky <3: What's your problem?

Ky <3: I've been calling you out almost every weekend and you don't even make a point to set aside ONE DAY to be with me.

Ky <3: If I did something at least tell me so I can fix it, but don't leave me in the dark. It hurts.

You: I'm sorry, Ky. You didn't do anything, I'm just full of things to do.

You: Call Ana, I'm sure she'd be up for it.

Ky <3: What the fuck? I don't want to go out with Ana, I want to go out with YOU.

Ky <3: Is that so hard to understand?

You: I'll talk to you later, Ky. I need to get back to studying.

You turn off your phone and take a deep breath. Kylian has noticed your behavior and knowing you well, he won't settle down until he knows what's really going on. You understand the frustration he's been feeling because you've shared an 11-year friendship and you don't want it to end. You just need some time for your thoughts to reorganize themselves and for the loving feelings about Kylian to disappear from your mind.

Your thoughts disperse when you hear some knocking at the door and the figure of Ana appears. "Can we talk?"

You frown and take care to agree with a brief nod.

"It's just that you haven't been the same…I don't know." Ana says with a frustrated tone of voice, she makes clear when she lets out a sigh. "Did I do something? If I did I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you away from me. It's always been the two of us together against everything after we moved away from Mom and Dad."

You feel a huge weight on your shoulders for having made Ana imagine she did something, she is your best friend, but you just needed some time to yourself. That's all. "Ana, no. You didn't do anything, I swear. I'm just really busy with college."

Ana walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. "I know it's not just that.” Ana stares at you intently. "Kylian texted me that you haven't had a Saturday night together in almost two months, and it's been a tradition since you guys were 14." You take a deep breath and try not to feel bad about it. "What about that day at the breakfast? And seriously, you ALWAYS have something to say over breakfast." She lets another sigh fall from her lips and affirms. "I just want you to know that if anything is going on, you can count on me. You'll always have my support, always."

You throw your weight on top of Ana and remain hugging her for a few minutes. "I know that and thank you for everything." You hold her hands. "I guess…I don't know. I just need some time to myself, you know?"

She smiles and nods. There is no reality that you don't love Ana, she is your best friend and best partner in crime there could be. Since you moved to Paris, away from your parents, you have witnessed every good and bad moment together. You need her as much as she needs you.

After this conversation you had, Ana had to leave for some things at work, and you decided to finish an article for college. You had so much to do that you felt a little lost.

Halfway through your article, you hear the doorbell ringing and get up, a little confused, to answer it. Who would it be at 6:30 PM on a Saturday? Ana had the key, so you couldn't think of anyone else. Until you answered and found yourself face to face with a Kylian Mbappé with two pizza boxes and a mischievous smile on his face.

"Since you are running away from me, I decided to come after you." You widen your eyes a little and let a surprised expression take over your face. "Aren't you going to let me in?"

You, still a little stunned, to let Kylian go into the apartment. He faces you and watches your expression. "Aren't you going to tell me anything?"

"I don't know, Ky. I'm just a little surprised you're here unannounced." You say following his figure as he walks over to leave the pizza boxes on the kitchen counter.

Kylian turns to you. "Well, if I said something, you'd make up some other nonsense just to get out of answering me."

"That's not true…I'm just busy with college." You swallow dryly and try to help him get plates and cutlery. "What do you want to talk about?"

Kylian washes his hands at the kitchen sink and turns a little sideways to face you. "You're the one who should tell me, aren't you?" He says with a tired tone. "What's going on? And don't lie to me, that's all I ask."

You wait for him to finish washing his hands and move over to wash yours. "I don't know, Kylian. I guess I just needed some time to myself."

"Does that time mean without me?" Kylian lets a sad look take over the face you love so much and his tone of voice…sounded so brittle that you tried to explain yourself.

"No one, Kylian. I can't explain, I just…" You turn to him and make it clear that the problem is not him. "I've been feeling weird about everything and I just need to figure myself out, the problem isn't you or Ana, it's me. I'm the one who has to sort out my thoughts and I don't want to hurt you with my crazy head."

You bow your head after talking a bit about how you feel and Kylian tries to take both your hands and bring them close to his chest, you could feel every beat of his heart through your fingertips. "It was always you and me against the world, remember? When I lost my ground during the World Cup you held me by the arms and were my greatest source of strength." He pulls you close to him and fits his hands to your face. "Don't leave me in the dark, I'll take it if it's just to stand beside you in silence. But please don't push me away. Because I don't know what to do without you."

You let an exasperated sigh escape your lips and can only nod at him as you stare into those dark eyes. Your heart just wants to scream at him, "I love you. And I could never imagine someone with such intimacy and intensity, I didn't even know I had the capacity to love someone so much," but your brain commands you to push him away so that you don't suffer from the 99% chance that he will say he doesn't feel the same way.

Kylian pushes away this direct contact between you and pulls you over so that you both can sit and enjoy pizza together, like every Saturday of every month. Saturday was the sacred day for you to reserve a moment to spend together. It was always like this, you together against the fucking world.

You try to concentrate on what Kylian is saying, you really try. But, it seems your mind just tells you to throw the weight off your shoulder and tell him you love him. You hold on for a few more minutes, but you can't. You've tried.

"Hey, can you hear me?" You lift your gaze to him and whisper a "Kylian…", he just lets out a "Hm?" and lets his gaze fall to your trembling hands under the table.

Kylian takes your hands and lets a look of concern assume his face. Just as he was about ready to say something, you let go like a bomb about to explode. "I love you."

Kylian understands the way you mean it. You have already said "I love you" to each other, but he knew this time was different. He knew it from the way your hands trembled, the way your eyes filled with tears, and the way your voice sounded pleadingly. He knew.

"And I know it may sound crazy, but…it's been like this for 8 years and I can't hold it in anymore." Your voice sounds brittle and you try to hold back your tears, but two escape from your eyes. You close your eyes tightly to try to pull yourself together and continue, "I promised myself that this would never leave my thoughts, that it would be the single most intense secret I would ever keep from you. I just… love you. They say that true love transforms. How then could I doubt that you are my one, great love? You transformed and continue to transform everything in here. You gave me the joy of living, the pleasure of loving. I hope I can give you back at least a drop of the ocean of happiness that you have brought me since you came into my life. Even if it was unconsciously, you gave me the most beautiful way to love someone and I just want to thank you for it."

Kylian stands stunned in front of you and stares at every tiny part of your face, he doesn't know what to say and doesn't know how to act. He just stands there with his breathing fast and shallow, he didn't expect this and you know it.

You just hold his hands and smile weakly. This hurts more than anything you have ever witnessed in your life, but at the same time it is a relief that this weight is off your shoulders after so long. "Hey…" You whisper with a smile that hurts more than a knife through the heart. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything, just go home."

"But what about you?" That's the only thing he can think to say after you unleash a baggage of feelings on him and it makes you smile in the truest possible way.

"I just need a little time to think about everything and so do you, but know that nothing will change between you and me." You pull his body to the door and hand him his cell phone that was lying on the table in the living room.

After Kylian leaves you can only put your hand over your mouth and try to hold back a loud cry, you can only feel a burning in your chest and the pain of knowing that things will never be the same. To love and not be loved hurts, and it's not that pain that you take medicine and it goes away, it's the pain of the soul.

Ana comes home and almost gets into despair after seeing you like that, she can only take you in her arms and hug you to see if she can stop that painful crying that makes you shiver and your chest hurt.

You finally gave up this war and it hurts more than if he had screamed in your face that he would never be able to love you like that.

Kylian leaves the apartment with his heart racing and unable to think straight. When he gets home, all he can think about is "what have I done?" He should have spoken what has been in his heart for years, he just couldn't. He just couldn't react. He stood there and left you with a feeling of sadness, a torn heart and the thought that you were not loved back.

#kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe fanfic #football one shot #football x reader #football fanfic #kylian x reader #kylian imagines #football imagine

[gingiesworld]

Family is Forever

Chapter Eleven

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Taglist: @fxckmiup @ginnsbaker @gb12d @angrywhisperslove @louxbloom @casquinhaa @natashamaximoff-69 @wizardofstories @canvascoloredin @wandanats-goodgirl @forthelesbians @the-ox-fan20 @marvelogic

18+ MINORS DNI

Y/N's recovery was slow, but they had a whole family to help them. The twins kept them entertained with stories from school and some things that Pietro had taught them. Wanda glared at her brother as Y/N only chuckled, thanking him for being there for the three of them.

"Are you ready to go home today?" Wanda asked as she started to pack their things.

"I guess, the apartment isn't exactly suitable for this situation." They told her honestly, looking down at their casted leg and arm.

"I thought we talked about this." Wanda queried as Y/N shook their head.

"We only said that the divorce was off." They told her. "Besides, we haven't really had a private moment alone to talk further."

"Well, I guess now is as good as any." Wanda smiled as she zipped up the bag. "I figured you would want to come back home and live with the kids and I? But if you think otherwise that's ok." Y/N smiled lovingly as she rambled on. "I guess we can put the bed back in the basement, you know the one you had in case of an emergency."

"I would love to come home Wanda." Y/N told her softly. "The apartment was never my home, you and the boys were always my home."

"Good." She breathed. "I guess I was just nervous, but we will have to figure out work and getting out of the lease."

"I can figure all of that out when we are home." They told her. "I'll call Pepper and then maybe we can think more on your bookshop ideas."

"What?" Wanda questioned.

"Your bookshop. You still want to open it right?" They asked her as she nodded. "Then we can look at affordable locations, talk taxes and all other expenses. Maybe even look at suppliers too."

"You want to help?" Wanda asked them as they just nodded.

"Well, it's not like I am returning to work anytime soon." Y/N chuckled as Wanda just kissed them passionately, pulling away and resting her head on theirs.

"You have no idea how much I love you." She whispered breathlessly as Y/N pecked her lips once more.

"I love you more." They smiled as she gazed in their eyes.

"Let's get you home before the twins send out a search party." She told them as she moved the wheel chair to the edge of the bed. Aiding them in their movement and finally realising just how much weight they had lost. "The twins are looking forward to you being home. They have a whole movie night planned out."

"I can't wait." They smiled as Wanda wheeled them out of the hospital.

"Also mom is making her famous chicken paprikash for you too." Wanda told them, knowing it is one of their favourite meals.

"I have missed that." Y/N whispered as Wanda smiled.

"I haven't cooked it since you moved out." She whispered as they approached the car. Bucky waiting for the two as he helped Y/N in the passenger seat before folding the wheel chair and putting it in the trunk.

The journey was quiet as Y/N tried to keep their heart beat at a steady rate. The nerves of being back in a car was taking it's toll as they soon closed their eyes. Taking deep breaths as they thought of anything else. Wanda noticed this and started to sing the lullaby she used to sing to the twins. A smile soon formed on Y/N's face as they remembered the first time they heard her sing it. Coming home from work earlier than usual to her holding Billy who just gazed up at her as Tommy lay, sleeping soundly in his crib.

"We're here." Bucky stated as he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt. Pietro was already out of the door to help Y/N out of the car. Wanda grabbed the bag and followed as Pietro and Bucky lifted them up the porch steps.

"O'pa's here!!" The twins bellowed excitedly as Y/N smiled at them, loving the atmosphere they have created alone.

"We have snacks." Billy started.

"Your favourites!" Tommy chimed in as the adults laughed.

"We have refreshments too." Pietro teased in the same tone as the twins, handing Y/N a cup of coffee.

"Thank you." They smiled as everyone else moved to do their tasks.

"They have been excited since you woke." Pietro told them as Wanda disappeared to help her mom. "They missed you so much."

"I missed them." Y/N spoke quietly. "I guess this is something we needed to become a family again." Y/N joked as Pietro shook his head.

"I think whether or not you had a car accident, you and Wanda would have found your way back to each other one day." He told them as he helped them into the bed, which was positioned to give them a prime view of the whole room. Watching as the twins fought on which movie to put on first.

"How about we have a Shrek marathon?" Y/N spoke up as the twins soon nodded excitedly. Setting up the first movie as they waited for their dinner.

Wanda sat on the chair beside Y/N as the twins sat on the floor beside the bed. Not wanting to be away from Y/N for too long. Pietro, Iryna and Bucky all sat on the sofa as everyone watched the movie together, until Wanda's eyes soon found Y/N's.

"A family is forever." They whispered to her making her smile widen as she shook her head at them before taking their bowls away. Pietro helped her with the cleaning before he took Iryna home.

As they had finished watching the third movie, the twins were starting to fall asleep on the floor.

"Come on you two." Wanda spoke softly as she paused the movie. "Bedtime."

"No." They whined as Y/N smiled brightly, ignoring the pain in their cheeks.

"Yes." Wanda told them both. "O'pa will still be here tomorrow." The two bid goodnight as Wanda took away the rubbish as Y/N sighed loudly, causing Wanda to turn abruptly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." They told her with a smile. "I am just, this is the happiest I have been in a very long time." Wanda only smiled as she retreated to the kitchen, grabbing their meds and a fresh bottle of water.

"Here." She whispered as she passed them the meds and water. "I'm just going to shower and get dressed and I will be right back down."

"You can go to bed if you want to." Y/N told her as she smirked.

"I will be going to bed." She told them. "Remember, the sofa pulls out much better than you." She teased as they just laughed at her.

The two of them had felt the lightest they had felt in a very long time. There was no resentment or hatred brewing. The two only felt the love for each other which grew stronger with each passing moment and Y/N had made a silent promise. Sending in their resignation to Pepper, preferring to help Wanda in her shop instead. Also promising to make sure that she knows how beautiful and amazing she is everyday. Something they had neglected to do in the past as they worked endless hours for Stark Industries

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #wanda x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff

[ladylooch]

Our Little Family [Miles Wood] - Chapter 10

A/N from 👢 anon: Heeyy, sorry I'm a little late. But this is my Christmas present for you guys. There is smut here.

Now we always talk about getting on your knees for miles, imagine the other way around, and this can happen. Hope you guys enjoy it !!

Holding Miles in your arms, after a moment like this is special. You want him to feel loved, to understand that he can talk to you without being judged.

You rub his back and run your fingers through his hair. You kiss the top of his head.

“I love you, Miles William Wood.” 

Miles looks at you. 

“I love you.” 

He seals this unsaid promise with a kiss and what a kiss it's. One of your hands rests on his cheek while his hand is on your hips. 

You guys start to make out. It's slow kissing, exploring each other's mouths. You're lost in the kiss when Miles starts to move his hips. You moan into the kiss. You don't want to break this. 

Miles doesn't want that either. There is something about this sex. It's better than your first sex, first post-I love you sex. This is different. This is sex with your man finally ready to be yours, to give himself fully to you. Mentally and physically. 

You move your leg a little to give him a better angle. Miles pulls your leg higher. You moan into his mouth. 

You start to feel your orgasm building up. And as much as you want to get there faster, this pace is good, and you want to continue doing this.You're going to get there with time. Miles is hitting all the right spots. Your nails are digging into his shoulder blades. 

The knot in your stomach starts to get tighter and tighter by the second. He knows that you're getting there, and he is too. He's struggling not to cum. He moves his hand to your clit and rubs little circles. That brings you over the edge. Your orgasm brings Miles to his own. Both of you are moaning out each other's names. You almost black out. You rest your head against his forehead to calm your body down.

Miles is so relaxed now, you can feel that a huge weight left his body. You brush his sweaty hair from his forehead. You admire your fiance's fine bone structure. He pulls out, and you whine in the process. You feel so empty right now. 

Miles smiles as he brushes your lips with his thumb. You kiss it before saying that you need to use the bathroom. He helps you get up. You waddle to the bathroom. Miles chuckles, you want to flip him right now but bathroom first. You pee and take a quick shower. You come back and Miles is waiting for you with open arms. It's adorable how happy and relaxed he is right now. 

Before you go to bed, you pick up his dress shirt and give him a show. You walk to the bed, closing his shirt. You lay beside him, placing your head on his chest. 

“My clothes always look better on you.” 

“I know.” Your reply makes Miles chuckle before kissing your head. 

“I miss our baby. Can we call your mom?” You know Lily has an early bedtime, but you miss her. 

“Yeah, let's try.” Miles moves to grab his phone. He FaceTimes his mom while holding you in his arms. 

She answers the call, and her smile goes so bright. She was waiting for this moment. Where Miles is finally all in with you. 

After the greetings, you ask if Lily is still up. She replies that she's been asleep for 5 minutes or so. You get a little pouty. Cheryl apologizes. She says that if they knew that you guys were going to call, she would try and keep Lily up.

You assure her that it's okay, Lily needs her sleep, and you guys will try in the morning. You thank her for being with Lily. She says that they're happy to do it and then you end the call. You shift so you can cuddle your fiance. Miles put his phone aside before hugging you close. He kisses your head. 

You sigh, feeling his lips on your hair. This is perfect. Today has been perfect, all because of this man. You rest your chin on his chest to look at him. He's already looking at you. Both of you have heart eyes looking at each other. 

“Thank you for today. It means a lot to me. You are making time for me.” Miles reaches for your cheeks. 

“You don't have to thank me, I should have been making time for a long time now. Tonight is just the start, baby.”

You smile softly, turning your face to kiss his hand. You yawn, and Miles tell you to rest. You nod as you lace your fingers together. He knows that you're exhausted. He watches you fall asleep. It doesn't take him long to fall asleep too. Both of you are tired. 

You wake in the middle of the night needing to pee. You struggle to get Miles to let you go, but then he finally does. After using the bathroom, instead of you going back to bed. You stay up looking at the window, seeing the mountains, the quiet night outside. 

You and Miles struggled to get to this point. You know it's not easy for him, being on the road, blaming him for what happened. It's not going to help you guys. Things are going to change, you know that. 

“Babe, are you okay ?” Miles asks, hugging you from behind with that sleepy voice that makes you weak. 

“Yeah, just thinking about life. Didn't want to wake you.” You rest your hands on top of his. 

Miles rests his chin on your shoulder. You lean against him, enjoying his solid body behind you. 

“I want to marry you soon, like next month.” Miles catches you by surprise. 

“But, what about the party ? Your friends ? Your family ?”

“We can do the reception during the summer. But I want to be your husband. I want you to have my last name.” 

You spin in his arms. 

“Are you sure ?” 

“Yeah.” That grin comes to his lips. “That's all I want.” Miles licks his lips before kissing you. This kissing Miles is making you all soft, and you love him. 

The dim light in the room makes his body look like a Greek God. You guys are just kissing each other, and then you feel little Wood start coming to life. Miles pushes you against the window, moving one hand beside your head to brace himself. You moan into his lips reaching for his cock. You stroke him as you kiss. Miles breaks the kiss. 

“Turn around gorgeous.” You're a little unsure because you're going to be facing the window. 

Miles senses that it's something you're struggling with right now. 

“You don't have to, babe. I still can fuck you here with your back against the window.” You nod, that's such a turn on. 

Miles kisses your neck, as he works on opening your shirt. He starts to give your body open mouth kisses. He stops by your boobs giving his friends some love. 

Then he makes his way down, open mouth kisses. You look down. He's there on his knees for you. He moves your leg hooking over his shoulder.

You curse, feeling his tongue run through your folds. Your hand reaches for his curls fisting them, bringing him closer to where you need him. Miles starts to eat you like a mad man, and he's starving. 

Miles laps and sucks your clit. Sometimes he stops just to breathe, but that's when his fingers come to play. You're so sensitive from before, it's not going to take long for another orgasm from you. 

You're with your eyes closed, fisting his hair when you feel Miles hooking your other leg over his shoulder. He pushes you back so you can have the support from the window. 

It brings a string of curses from your lips. You know that he's strong, but this is such a turn-on to you. And he's not done with surprising you tonight  

Your orgasm hits you hard. You're shaking as Miles works you through your orgasm. He moves your legs down and kisses his way back to your lips. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders for support. He kisses you, feeling yourself on his lips makes you moan. He rests his forehead on yours. 

“Are you okay, sweetheart ?” He asks, a little worried. Today has been a lot for your body, and he wants to make sure you're okay. 

You nod. “I just need a couple of minutes. This one was a lot.” 

He understands. Miles moves his hand to slide behind your back, but you stop him. You guys are staying right here on the window and he's going to fuck you there like he wants to. 

You guys stand there for a couple of minutes. You start to run your hand on the curls on the back of his head. You kiss his jaw, showing that you're good to go again. 

“Show me how strong you are, handsome.” Miles groans, followed by a curse. He's loving this night so far. 

He moves his hands to your ass, giving a little squeeze before sliding behind the back of your thighs. Miles brings both of your legs to wrap around his waist. You know this position is not going to be for so long. But it's so sexy. 

He moves you back so you can have the glass support for now. Miles lines himself before sliding in slowly. You can feel every inch of him inside you. You throw your head back with a long moan. 

He feels so damn good inside you. He takes a few steps back to show you how strong he is. With the help of his arms you start moving up and down on his cock. 

The only sounds you can hear in the room are your moans, your wet pussy sliding up and down his cock, his grunts, a few praises from him and your ass hitting his hips. 

He's driving you insane. He feels so good. You lean your head to rest on the crook of his neck. You're trying to focus on something else, but he's hitting all the right spots. 

You're about to scream. You bite the spot between his neck and collarbone. That's going to leave a mark in the morning. Miles grunts with the pain. 

“Put me down, babe. I want you to fuck me from behind.” You ask him softly. 

Miles helps you put your feet on the floor. You turn to face the glass. He deserves this, too. You cover your face with your arm. 

“C'mon babe, I'm waiting.” You say shaking your ass for him. 

He doesn't need to be told twice. Miles spread your legs for him before sliding in one sweet motion. He definitely comes as advertised. He's taking his time with you now. Deep and long thrusts. Miles slaps your ass cheek. 

You know you're not going to last long. But you want to give him this. Miles grip on your hips gets tighter, and you know he's struggling to contain himself. 

You bring his hand to lift your leg so you can have better access to your clit. You start rubbing circles as Miles hits every sweet spot inside you. He says a few encouraging words for you to come. 

And you do. Another one for the night. Miles brings you flush against his chest, resting his hand on your neck. He nibbles your ear lobe. 

Now it's your time to praise and encourage him. You say that he fills you so well, his cock is perfect for you, he makes you feel so good. And then of course you ask him to cum for you. 

That's exactly what he needed. Miles orgasm hits him hard. Both of you guys lean against the glass. He rests his head on the cool window. 

“Fuck, I love you.” He says between heavy breaths.

“Love you too, handsome.” 

Miles kisses your shoulder, enjoying this amazing feeling.

He pulls out and carries you to the bathroom. He lets you use the bathroom while he starts the water for you guys. Just a quick shower after all that sweat. 

After you pee, he helps you step in the shower to rinse off. You look at Miles with heart eyes, and this time, his eyes match yours. 

“Thank you for not shaving. I know you're not a fan” You say as you run your hand on his chest. Miles giggles, making you laugh in the process. 

“No need to thank me babe, today was for you and for us.” 

You smile and lean to peck his lips. You and Miles clean yourselves quickly so you can go to bed. You need some support. Your legs are giving up on you.

As soon as you are back in bed, you're taking all his personal space. Making him chuckle in the process. Miles runs circles on your arms as your body starts to get limp beside him. 

“Thank you for picking me. You're not going to regret it. I love you.” You say as your eyes start to blink with sleep. 

Miles gets a little upset that it took him so long to be fully in and picking you. He smiles and kisses your head. 

“I didn't regret anything up to now babe, not going to start now. I love you.”

His "I love you" is the last thing you hear that night. He watches you for a little bit before falling asleep too. 

#miles wood x reader #our little family #👢 anon #blog submission #THE AGAINST THE WINDOW STUFF #🤯😩🫠 #want that man on his knees for me #what... who said that. #the ending was so sweet it was like eating a Christmas cookie 🥹

[supernaturalkickparty]

Today was shit

Mini rant

Over slept so I got an ear full for not waking up early enough to help with the turkey even though I prepped everything else the evening before.

My sister was here already in a bad mood and I'm the family's lightening rod of hate so my mom in a bad mood plus my sister in a bad mood means I have been crying pretty much all day.

My sister took one look at me and flat out said "Dude you look bigger, aren't you dieting? I'm getting married you know that."

She was pissed at her fiancé so she just directed that at me since he was dealing with baby mama drama and his twin was in town but they don't like my sister.

Her fiancé finally shows up as I'm putting food away and he brought their son with him and toddler was hella excited and started asking a ton of questions about playing together and how was school.

My sister told me her son just woke up from a nap for toddler to give him space. Reasonable request, I told toddler that his cousin needed a break to sit down and that they could play in a bit.

The kid finally came around and the boys were playing, toddler kept asking him questions and my sister tells me

"Tell Toddler to back off L(I'm gonna call him L) he's all in his face and won't leave him alone."

I apologized and explained how toddler was excited and had been looking forward to today. Her response was-

"Well that's your own fault, you're just wanting him home, he don't know how to act around kids just adults. You're raising him wrong and screwing him up. Don't homeschool him, he needs to be in a regular school with kids."

I fucking cried. I ignored the constant picking of my weight, which my clothes still fits the same I haven't gained any weight but I haven't lost any either.

Its the fact she said I'm screwing toddler up.

My child is loving, caring, empathetic, crazy(he's 4), sweet, funny, and talkative. He gets excited with people he's familiar with.

The rest of the night was strained, L was picking on toddler and making him cry. My sister said nothing until my mom shockingly stepped in and told her she owes me and toddler an apology and that L owes Toddler an apology.

That didn't go over well and now I'm apparently too sensitive and raising my son to be a wuss like me.

I really really don't care for the holidays

[reachingmygoalsss]

Life Update

April 25 2024

Got multiple new jobs, a new apartment and new dogs literally 5 days after the December post. Lost some weight around 15lbs rn! Things are looking up the dogs have helped me relax so so much.

My boyfriend got a new job as a carpenter now and actually stepped up after a fight we had on Valentine's Day. He started trying really hard, and I admit I wasn't the best person during the time because of how hurt and betrayed I felt. I feel a lot of guilt for that, and like I don't fully deserve this new beginning to some extent with him because of how angry I was up until he got the job. I'm really happy for him and thankful too. After all I wouldn't be dating him this long if I didn't love who he is. Stress just gets in the way of that sometimes.

My new dogs are the best little girls! They are German Shepherd lab mixes and are beautiful. Now around 7 months old. I will upload some pictures with this of them! They literally help me so much in my dream realms and through my healing stuff as well as with the transmutation of my emotions. I try to give back as much as I can to them by getting them treats, bones, and things they need or want. I really think I'm gonna try and walk them more, though. It's something I have been lacking with. That and training, and they deserve more of that, so that is a new thing I want to do for them going forward.

I have lots of big plans for the future. I'm going to make a goals list soon, so be hopeful for that. But I think the rest of the post I'm going to rant.

My parents still suck. I don't like how they take everything as me trying to hurt them. It's very frustrating. I'm not going to say I didn't have a lot of hate for them from all the buildup and stuff but I have let go of most of that now. I don't hate them anymore I just don't like them because I realized they will never actually understand me or how I speak.

Something I have been having issues healing lately is feeling like I'm hurting others. Today I talked to my mom for the first time in months and we were having a conversation about my brother since he is in the process of having a kid. Said conversation:

"you know your brother he gets stressed so easily and is nervous"

"that's because you yelled at him for so many years"

"that's because he never would listen unless I yell at him"

"he never was able to hear you because his ears were damaged from you yelling at him"

"I'm not going to let you ruin my day today I'm about to have a grandkid"

"I'm just telling you where that comes from"

✨️conversation ended 2 mins later✨️

This is how every conversation goes and yet I still somehow feel like I'm a dickhead for just stating what I see when she tries to bring stuff up. I feel this way with everyone, either in a state of confusion or guilt and shame for triggering them. I genuinely don't mean to trigger them either I'm just looking at a situation and word vomiting what I see, hear or feel. Sometimes I think I'm autistic because of this. With my mom though I do question if my motives are good. Like is it a subconscious jab at her character? Am I living in the past? Part of me does feel like I am still there in the house a scared kid waiting for her to come in my bedroom and tell me to do some chore or scream at me. During those times my throat feels tight like I'm being strangled and I still can't seem to get the words out clearly. It's hard for me to be in a relationship when there is no relationship because it will always be one-sided. She still wants me to wear the golden child, straight A student, favorite cousin, grandchild, bullshit mask I wore for so long. Perfection mask curated to her, otherwise I'm imperfect, but more importantly she is imperfect. I find myself with traits like her sometimes. Cold and cruel due to insecurities and superficialities. I see how hurt she is too and I guess that's why I still hold so much guilt, shame and hurt for cutting her out. She will never see me. Just like her mother never saw her.

I hope I'm not like her.

My father, I cut off from Jan 1st to early April. It's nice to talk to my dad, and I miss him. The problem is that I usually go into an anxiety attack after I get off the phone with him. Even if the conversation is good, it feels like he invades my whole being, and I have intrusive hate thoughts every time I talk to him that I have to clear out of my head almost every time. He also defends my mom with her behavior, and then he lets her into conversation a lot. Which has put a lot of strain on our relationship in general. I didn't want to have to make him choose between me or mom, but she made that the case a lot of the time. I wish he had the balls to say no to her and just have a relationship with me. I don't expect him to ever stick up for me though at this point. If he defended her to a 5 year old me saying I was the problem at 5 why should I have expected anything different at 22. That's the part I think that hurts the most is still dealing with the same thing younger me dealt with. No one to help me stand up to my bully other than myself.

Good news is I'm an adult now and I no longer feel helpless against them. I can stand up to them and they can't put their shit on me anymore. Though I'm the villain now and that kinda sucks considering I went from being perfect in their eyes. I destroyed their image of everything they saw in me and I feel like myself for the first time but I have no family because of it. I will have to build my own.

Everyone in my family looks at me like I'm an asshole and none of them other than my dad want to see me truly succeed. And even then my dad will try to change my plans or will outright judge or insult them behind my back to my mom. I know this because that's how they all work. Then they get sick or get into a car accident or some shit because they are fucking mean. I don't know why I keep going back. When I disconnect from them I feel so much anxiety, sadness, and hate and it's hard to focus on anything else. I hope there's a day where I can just let go or talk to them without feeling so fucked up. Self harm or self hate maybe? Self sabotage? Layers of bullshit that needs to go. Too much manipulation. Sometimes I wish they would just die so I can move on and get some relief.

I guess the end of this is just me wishing I had a supportive and loving family. One where I don't have to be fake to avoid making people upset or afraid.

#family #therapy #life lessons #update #dogs #weight loss #lifestyle

[shes-nott-me]

National Treasure chapt. two

Desc: Child star turned unhinged bombshell, Arabella King, tells her life story in her first interview in decades, She talks in-depth about (TW’s) her rocky past with her parents, struggling with body image and ED’s, coming to terms with her sexuality, and even her life-long relationship with ‘The King of Rock n Roll’ Himself Elvis Presley. 

MINORS DNI

Trigger Warnings: Ed’s, Body Image, Abuse, vomit

Writing this gave me the Ick

word count: 1.8k

If you haven’t read it, here’s the Previous Chapter

Present Day

Interviewer: Do you remember the first time you met Elvis?

Arabella: how could I forget, I was 15, he was 19, we were on the set of  ‘Love me Tender’  I don’t even know how I got the part of Cathy Reno, there was no way I was mature enough, especially in comparison to my competition. I guess none of that really mattered when your name was as big as mine, and alongside Elvis Presley, it was almost a guaranteed box office success.

Los Angeles, California 1954

“Nice to meet you.” I hear a thick southern accent come from behind me. I turn around to be met with blue eyes and dark hair. 

I give the boy a quick once over, He looks good, not flip my skirt and drop my panties good.  “Hey” He looks a bit shocked by my reaction, or should I say, lack thereof. “Close your mouth, you're gonna catch flies,” he mumbles something I didn’t catch. “What was that?” 

“Oh uh, nothing?” I cock my head at him, but I don’t question him further. “Since we aren’t filming today maybe, we could grab a bite to eat, you know work on our chemistry if you will,” he says, pulling himself together, flashing his signature smirk.

“That's fine, I just have to be careful, mama has me on a strict diet, to avoid food sensitivity and weight gain,” I explain popping a lollipop in my mouth. I grab the lunch my mom packed for me and we’re off to the races.

“There ain’t no way in hell that tastes good.” Elvis chuckles, looking at my unseasoned piece of grilled chicken, and dry salad. I nod quietly, popping a cherry tomato in my mouth. His face softens upon seeing my reaction. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend ya, y’can try some of my chicken if you’d like.”

I shook my head lightly. “Mama said I would get sick.” 

“Sick how?” I didn’t have a response, whenever I asked mama, she just told me that I asked too many questions and left it at that. I stare at my plate, just looking at it, I never gave mama's words much thought, I just listened to her. “Come on, a lil taste won’t hurt, and if ya get sick, I’ll pay the hospital bill myself.” I stare at his food, then back at mine, it is just chicken, same thing on my plate, just different. 

“Fine” I grumble

“Here y’go, bon appetit,” he says, sliding a drumstick towards me. Hesitantly, I take a bite, It’s delicious, it brings back memories of home, in Italia, with my Yaya and Nonno, memories I had lost over time, the warm feeling I had soon turned into resentment towards my mother, this chicken didn’t make me sick at all, it never did, and neither did pasta or chips, nor ice cream. I feel my breath get caught in my chest. I feel elvis’ presence behind me before he even speaks. I push the table away out of pure instinct, my breathing getting heavier, tears streaming down my face. A strong set of arms wrap around me and for the first time in a decade I feel safe, I sniffle, my vision beginning to clear, I look at the mess of food around me, I’ve never been so happy to be in a secluded area. “Are you alright?” He asks, I just turn to face him and put my face in his chest. Still sniffing. “Breath, In through your nose, out through your mouth.” I follow his instructions and slowly I begin to regulate my breathing. “We gotta get that temper of yours in check.” He chuckles, beginning to pick up the food scattered on the ground. “Did you at least like the chicken?”  I nod as he escorts me out of the picnic area. 

“Y’know, you don’t talk much.” He says as if he’s made the discovery of a lifetime. 

“Don’t have much to say.” 

“You are so interesting,” he says, looking directly into my eyes.

“Why,” I challenge his eye contact. “Because I didn’t throw myself at you when you walked through the door?” I take a step closer “Honestly I don’t get the appeal. You can sing just fine, I just don’t know how anyone could call that dancing.”

“Well, not everyone is a trained dancer, it just calms my nerves when I y’know,” he shimmies his hips, “Wiggle”  watching him do it, I laugh, I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing out on something, any girl my age would kill to be in my position, but just didn’t get what the deal was. “You never get nervous?” He raises a brow at me.

I shake my head “I don’t feel anything” 

“That’s a lie, y’sure as hell felt something at the park a few minutes ago.” I turn on my heels and begin to walk away. “Hey don’t walk away, why don’t we change the topic.”

“Do the wiggle again,” I say 

“Okay, okay” he puts his hands up “I knew you couldn’t resist” He smiles. He does the wiggle and mimic it best I can, laughing at myself

“You got that down, now, let's try the shuffle.” He comes behind me to show the movements and I get it down pretty quickly. While I’m enjoying myself I can’t help but feel something wrong, I enjoy his presence, but I know it's not how other girls my age do, this feels like a connection I need but I could care less if he kissed me or not, if I were being completely honest with myself I’d prefer he didn’t.

We get back to set and part ways. Mama was furious with me. “You ate the whole thing, Arabella.” I didn’t respond, just watched her throw things in her fit of rage as I changed into my pajamas, “ This is why, your face is so fucking round, and your thighs are so goddmn large.” she pauses to throw the salad bowl at me, I put my arm to block it. “And Arabella,” she walks up and slaps me across my face. “Would you for the love of God, WIPE THAT GODDAMN SORRY ASS LOOK OFF YOUR FACE, FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE.”

I bring my hand to my now stinging cheek. “That’s just my face.” you would think she would get it by now, she looks at me all the time. 

“No Arabella,” she turns to face me again. “It’s my face that you ruined.” she points an accusatory finger at me. “With your fat cheeks.” She speaks in a baby voice, pinching my cheeks. “And your fish lips.” she squeezes my face in her hand. “And your sad eyes.” she looks me in my eyes. “You're depressing to look at, and even more embarrassing to be related to.” She turns to face the door. 

“Mama, I’m s-” She cuts me off

“I am NOT your mama, not in public at least, with the way you look and behave, it’s shameful to be your mama.” She slams my trailer door behind her Shouting “And no dinner!” before leaving set altogether. I stare at my door, a seemingly endless flow of tears coming from my eyes. 

A few minutes go by, I peek out of my trailer, wiping my eyes. When I see no one around I sneak behind my trailer and shove my fingers down my throat. It doesn’t work, I don’t even gag. I sigh and walk to Elvis’ trailer. 

I knock five times, the door opens. “Hey, Ara-” Elvis cuts himself off. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, it's just my face.” at least I’ll always have that excuse. He opens his mouth to talk. But I don’t let him pry “do you have a gallon of milk?” 

“Sneakin’ a late-night bowl of cereal?” He chuckles, I stare at him. “What, part of your mama’s diet for you?” He looks sad.

“I guess you can say that.” He looks confused at my response, but ultimately sighs and hands me a half-empty gallon of milk. “Thanks, this should be enough.”

I begin to walk away “Y’know if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” I nod. “I’m sorry, just overheard you talking with your mama.” 

I whip my head around. “What my Ma- Sophia says to me is none of your concern.” I start walking again.

“You’re gorgeous,” Elvis says softly, I keep walking.

“Everyone else seems to think so.”

Upon arriving at my trailer I once again hide behind it. I sniff the milk, I hate it. I chug as much milk as I can, as quickly as I can, until I feel everything I ate today begin to come back up. When I finish emptying the contents of my stomach, I walk back into my trailer, and brush my teeth. I stare at my face in the mirror, I pinch and pull at my cheeks, I swear my face gets bigger every time I look at it, I pull my face back, giving myself a temporary facelift. My fingers ghost over my lips, I make kissing faces at myself, I pinch my lips, in hopes they would shrink, they don't. I shake myself out of my thoughts. I grab a few bottles of water and head outside to rinse the ground off. 

While pouring bottles of water a familiar southern voice fills my ears. 

“That’s mighty wasteful don’t ya think?” I roll my eyes and go on rinsing the ground. “Just wanted to see if you needed a ride, I saw your mama leave.” I nod following him to his car. 

The car ride is dead silent, I stare at Elvis, perplexed, no one has ever treated me this way. “Like what ya see?” I roll my eyes, as he laughs, I close my eyes, a smile starting to play on my lips.

We pull up to the hotel, Elvis walks me to my suite. “Goodnight gorgeous.” He hugs me. “If you need anything, I’m down the hall.” He kisses the top of my head. I walk into my hotel room and pass out immediately.

Present Day

Arabella: I remember the next day in the papers all I saw were headlines like “America’s Sweetheart being corrupted by Rock n Roll Hillbilly?” or what have you.

Interviewer: What did your mom think of the headlines?

I hope y’all enjoyed this chapter, Next one is from EP’s perspective

Taglist: @smyleigh24

#shes nott me #austin butler smut #austin butler x reader #austin!elvis x reader #austin butler #elvis presley x reader #elvis smut #sugar daddy elvis #austin butler x y/n #elvis #Elvis x oc #Elvis angst #elvis film #elvis the pelvis #elvis 2022 #Elvis

[i-am-all-lies]

Lost Butterfly

A story I wrote a while ago. TW: Child Abuse (in every sense).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, I decided to start walking. I haven't done it for a while, I don't know how to do it anymore. But it shouldn't be that hard, right? Just… left foot, right foot. Yes… left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, stumbling once, stumbling twice, I knew I was going to fall, but why is my knee hurting? Should I be falling when I'm already on the ground? My dad was wearing a necklace today, and a ring too! It's not Mom's ring, so I guess it's a new one. "Hey, *****." Dad called out to me. "Yes, Dad?" I said as I turned my head to the other side of the table, where his plate was, which had no more food on it, in contrast to mine, which was still full - not because I had more food - of course. "Get the wine," Dad ordered. I put my fork on my plate and got up to get the wine. With a turn of my head, I found the bottle, well, several bottles, but as they've been there for a while, I don't think they're the ones he asked for, so I took the one that looked fullest and approached him to deliver it. As I placed the bottle down, I felt the judgmental gaze that ran over every inch of my skin, bones, muscles, organs and mind, which only ended when a cough could be heard from Dad, who began to say: "You've gained a few kilos, haven't you? And that chest of yours is rather large for your age, don't you think?" I made my way to my seat while preparing an answer, at the same time trying to keep my skin dry: "Do I look like I've been eating too much? And what do you expect me to do about my chest? It's not something I have any control over..." he seemed rather displeased with the answer and made his usual snobbish comment which, by now, he has memorized, given the number of times he has repeated it; it's certainly something he rehearses in his room, "Well, you don't eat anything! You just spend the day in your room! You're really useless, you still manage to gain weight, it's a shame." Yes, a real shame, I couldn't agree more, Dad. Although this sarcasm doesn't get me anywhere in my mental space, it does help in the process of dealing with the situation. He hasn't touched my taste in music or anything I like so far, remarkable progress, I'd say. In response to his unpleasant comment, I simply sat in silence, eating the amount needed to get away from the table and back to my room.

A pleasant silence formed, the absence of the noise from the nearby street, the television that was turned off because Mum said it was "spoiling the family dinner experience", whatever that means, and, most importantly, Dad was silent. Peace was achieved, until Mom opened her mouth and announced that she had... I don't know what she said, since I had excused myself to go to the bathroom in order to ensure some fat loss, I'm sure that what Mom had to say wasn't really that interesting. I washed my hands and cleaned the toilet to avoid anyone noticing the traces of vomit, and went into the dining room to get the dishes and wash them in the kitchen. While I was doing the dishes, I heard the phone ring and my mother started talking to someone, who certainly wasn't my father, as the tone of his voice was much brighter and the content of the conversation was about her job, more specifically about how she was upset with the manager for promoting someone else instead of her, despite the fact that she had supposedly done a much better job than him, It's not that I'm particularly suspicious of my mother's claims about her performance, it's just that I hardly believe that she would be even remotely close to gaining a promotion in her "company", due to the simple fact that restaurants don't have promotions, and so I ignored the conversation in the living room and distracted myself with other thoughts, probably of less value than my mother's nonsense. That is, until these thoughts were interrupted by the solid grip I felt on my buttocks, large hands could be felt grabbing that part of my body, I don't remember this happening, so I had no reaction, looking to my right, I saw my father with a smile on his face, "Come to my room for the usual". I felt the souls of those who were waiting for me screaming inside me in agony. What is "the usual"? What's going on here? I stood there, paralyzed with a mixture of fear and... I don't know how to describe it, but it was unpleasant, that's a fact, a really horrible fact. If I had to say something close to that, it would be despair. That's right, despair. I can't prepare myself for what's to come next, is he going to hit me? Humiliate me? Kill me? I finished my work and went to Mom and Dad's room, as Dad had instructed. Every step on the stairs felt like a whole flight of stairs; should I run? Hide in my room and block the doors? No... There's no escaping the fate that lurks behind that door.

It must be what I want in the end, isn't it? I approached the door, the cold coursing through my body, anxiety coursing through my bloodstream as if it were a nutrient highly necessary to keep my body functioning. I opened the door and closed it behind me, took a deep breath and turned my body, revealing my destination. A father without any cover was now standing in front of the bed. I was paralyzed. He grabbed my arms and put me on the bed, pinning me down with his strength. I couldn't move. My legs were forced open and… The clothes that had once kept me hidden were now torn and no longer offered the security I had before. He came in. Blood dripped down the sheets and onto my flesh, purity was now something I could never seek. "I know you like it," yes, Dad, I like it as much as I like the pain of being stabbed a million times, it's really incredible, I like it as much as I like the feeling of termites in my eyes, I like it as much as I like the feeling of my flesh rotting from untreated wounds, I like it as much as I like you. I truly became a receptacle of despair, agony and terror. It seemed to last an hour, two hours, three, a month, a year, my whole corrupted life. When my father felt satisfied, he ordered me to leave his room and go to mine. I did as I was told and sat down on my bed. Now I remember. That's why I couldn't walk.

#short story #vent post #vent art #c ptsd #literature #dark stories #personal #childhood trauma #trauma #tw sa #child abuse #recovering from trauma #complex ptsd #rapesurvivor

[fatedwithmbc]

It’s the night before the Unite for Her 5k. I’m “sleeping” at my best friends’ house because it’s close to the race location. The one dog, Dani, was so much calmer with me this time, which was helpful. I was a little nervous how the dog would react to me after our last encounter. The pup is sweet as pie with Elora, but protective and a rescue which is understandable. It just made me a little more nervous than I would have been around just her little old man, Reentu. He’s a cute pup. He even had on a little bow tie- so stinking cute!

Her mom was a total sweetheart and made us a pasta dinner, salad and even sugar cookies for dessert. She’s such a kind woman, and I was thankful of her to take the time to do that for those of us who stayed here this evening. After dinner, we played a meme game and watched Mike and Dave Need A Wedding Date. I think that’s what it was called. It was hilarious. Aubrey Plaza, Anna Kendrick, Zack Efron and the other guy, who’s also in Workaholics and a million other things were all in it. It was a raunchier version of Wedding Crashers, in my opinion. Not something I would have picked on my own, but I enjoyed it.

To my dismay, it’s supposed to rain all day tomorrow. I feel like what was supposed to be a celebration of my wins this past year is going to be a sad and sorry, soggy affair. Thank you, hurricane season and Hurricane Ophelia. Adam Joseph said inland should be spotty. Fingers crossed!

We were able to pick up shirts and bibs today, so that helped. I also got the extra hoodie I purchased. It’s definitely large on me and I was expecting it to be tight fitting. We stopped at Wawa too. Random insight: I was looking for a Candy Kittens alternative and I think that’s Twizzler’s, NOT Sour Patch Kids Strawberry despite Candy Kittens being Strawberry. Random insight over. I’m not used to having lost weight from when I was on my first line of treatment. But I’ve also regained some weight from being on Abilify since my 10 day hospitalization back in June.

I see my oncologist on Monday. I’ve got notions of traveling to Europe and I’m planning on asking him if I can even think of planning so far ahead in my condition. We’ll see what he says. I always said if I went back to Europe, I’d be going to Poland. Although, there was a trip to Italy that caught my sights as well; but that’s all putting the cart before the horse until I talk to the doctor. And obviously, I’d need travel insurance in case something happens/ed that would prevent me from going.

Back to my thoughts on tomorrow, I’m so appreciative of every donor who helped me reach my top number of $2,000 for fundraising. Additionally, I’m so appreciative of my best friends for braving the weather for me tomorrow to show support and solidarity of my situation. Not many people would do what they are. Why walk in the rain for 3.1 miles for nothing (other than me)?? I’m touched already and we haven’t even done it yet. I’m hoping since we’re more inland, the rain will be more sporadic and spotty and not a complete deluge as the shore is anticipated to get. I did think ahead a bit and ordered us ponchos, but I’m not sure of their quality and how dry they will actually keep us.

I need to sleep, but my mind is racing about tomorrow and I also have a hard time when I’m not at home. I’m still watching (more like listening) to On Patrol Live which is a comfort show. They say if you put on a comfort show it can help you fall asleep. Which I did for about 2 hours before I woke up very warm. I shed a layer and laid down again, but the thoughts keep churning.

I was able to talk my Mom-Mom through the process of getting to Apple TV so she could watch Friday Nighy Baseball (Phillies and Mets). I’m glad she didn’t have to miss the game because I wasn’t around. The Phillies won, thankfully. And the magic number is now 4 for our playoff berth or wildcard spot for the playoff berth. The post season of baseball confuses me. I’m anxious and excited for MNF. The Eagles are playing.

I think I’ve gotten most everything I can off my mind, so I’ll wrap this up. I might even be feeling some effects of sleepiness!

El Fin.

#fated with mbc #confessions of a cancer patient #stage iv deserves more #metastatic breast cancer #stage iv metastatic breast cancer #breast cancer #unite for her

[bunny-j3st3r]

su/ici/de mention under cut and depression stuff

I think I’m ready to talk about some stuff in my life that’s been happening as of late.

About two-ish months ago I had a rather large relapse in my mental health, I was thinking of the future and getting myself scared, I was thinking how I can’t afford to live on my own and if something happened to my folks I would be homeless, I was thinking how my dogs are getting older and I already lost two dogs due to health issues in a short span of each other, I don’t think I’m mentally prepared if my chihuahua passes away this year.

I was thinking about old photos I saw once, my mom showed me a picture of my great aunt and she looked exactly like me, it was like I was looking in a mirror, my mom told me she died due to weight issues that gave her a heart attack in her 40s, it scared me as being someone who is very overweight due to things that happened in my past that gave me bad habits today.

I was thinking how I can barely afford to live anymore, how I have to beg for help and hope strangers will be kind enough to give money to me to pay for groceries that I can barely afford anymore, how I’ve not really gone out and enjoyed myself for months because I’m so scared that even spending money on a new book is money I could of spent buying much needed food and essentials.  

I relapses very severely, I was going down hill further and further and I had planned on taking my own life when my parents were on holiday so no one would be around to help me.

I had planned it all, worked it out and I had it all sorted for last month, was going to just down as many of my parents left over medication as I could, regardless of what it was, didn’t know what half of them where, I just knew there was a bag of medication that my folks had planned to return to the chemist after there holiday since that had a surplus supply they didn’t need. 

I sat there on I think it was thursday, I remember it had been raining all day and I sat at the back door, watching how heavy the rain was, I had the bag in hand and a large glass of water ready and I just sat and watched.

And then all my dogs started to sit around me, watching with me as I just watched and then our puppy who we didn’t have that long laid her head on my hand that I was gripping the bag in.

I felt myself starting to cry, I don’t remember much, I remember crying so much to the point I was sick a few times, I remember wheezing and then just collapsing on to the couch, burying myself under blankets and all the dogs trying to get on to the couch with me to lay on me.

I remember falling asleep while crying but smiling because a special friend to me sent me a dumb meme as I was going through this, blissfully unaware of the events that I had just planned.

I don’t think I woke up till late that day, the sun was shining, the weather was warm as if my family looking down on me were telling me that the moment had passed.

I stuffed the bag back into the closet and messaged my mom, her and dad still don’t know what I had planned and I don’t think I’ll ever tell them.

I had a bath, I cooked a decent meal and played video games most of that day while also working a little bit in the garden.

In the end I decided to book my first holiday abroad that will be by myself, something I can pay of monthly, I brought myself the new zelda game and have spent a good chunk of time away playing that.

I also started to walk more, I do a 5k hike every few days into the woods and across the fields and just take everything in as I’m going, I want to better myself.

I’m still struggling atm, I’m still finding it hard to talk to most people or be involved in things my friends are all involved in but the matter of fact is I’m here.

I’m here and I’m alive and I am trying to become a better person for myself, even with all my struggles, I’ll work it out, I’m still scared but I’ll work through it.

#I needed to type out my words #how my life has been for a little bit #I'm a bit better #it's been like a whole month #since that time #I'm making daily progress and that's all that matters in the end

[beardedmrbean]

A Kentucky mother is suing Meta after her daughter developed anorexia from using the social media platform Instagram. 

Candace Wuest, her daughter, and Social Media Victims Law Center lawyer Matthew Bergman joined "Fox & Friends First" Friday to discuss the lawsuit against Meta and warn parents on how Instagram algorithms can hurt young girls' self-esteem and in some cases, lead to physical harm.

"It just it really took a toll on my life. It took a toll on not only my childhood years, but the time that I will never get back," the teen said about Instagram. 

INSTAGRAM LAUNCHES FEATURE THAT URGES TEENS TO TAKE A BREAK

Last year, Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen sparked global attention and confirmed parents' fears regarding social media when she leaked information about the tech giant. 

"The choices being made inside of Facebook are disastrous for our children, for our public safety, for our privacy, and for our democracy," Haugen said in her opening statement before lawmakers in October 2021. "I saw Facebook repeatedly encounter conflicts between its own profits and our safety. Facebook consistently resolved these conflicts in favor of its own profits."

Wuest described how she noticed Instagram taking a toll on her daughter's mental and physical wellbeing. 

GOP LAWMAKERS LAUNCH PROBE OF TIKTOK'S SHARING OF USER DATA WITH CHINESE PARENT COMPANY

"Cognitive skills were gone, her ability to concentrate, as well as having issues with depression, anxiety that she's never had before, and she started to flunk out in school. And of course, I noticed that she was trying to hide the fact she had lost so much weight. But it just became obvious as she started to have dizzy spells and passing out," she explained, calling on parents to "wake up."

Furthermore, the mom said the Instagram algorithms targeted her then 12-year-old daughter with harmful posts that glorified anorexia and other forms of self-harm. She went from using the app to share recipes with her mom, to posts showing exercise and weight loss and eventually more harmful posts which she described as "anorexia pornography." 

The teenager, who chose not to reveal her name, said she would tell parents of young girls to remind their daughters that what they see on Instagram does not reflect reality and social media only tells girls that they will "never be good enough."

"It's not real. It's not reality," she said, adding she is thankful she survived.

Bergman told host Todd Piro the lawsuit argues the "design of the product is inherently dangerous, that addicting children to your product for purposes of maintaining user engagement is illegal and improper and damaging."

He added, "It is killing our kids. The only thing that's unique about this case is that through the love of her mother and the grace of God that she is here to talk to you today." 

#never be good enough. #nunyas news #social media only tells girls that they will #in a world where people scream and yell #about things needing to be gender neutral #we still get to watch males get ignored #men face body issues the same as women #difference is that much like in this article #nobody thinks to mention it

[brainexplosion375]

Do you wanna talk about eating disorders? Because I kinda don't but I will anyway

There's only two people in my life that I’ve ever admitted to having an eating disorder to. My best friend who introduced me to purging, and my other best friend who’s complained about her body for as long as I can remember but I never understood, until I did. I grew up with a very privileged relationship with food. I’ve noticed that a lot of women talk about getting eating disorders from their parents but that’s not the case for me. Yeah my moms a little bit of a health freak but more in the “don’t leave the wifi on at night or we’ll all get cancer” kind of way. Not so much the “a moment on the lips forever on the hips”. My eating disorder came out of nowhere, it was tragic to be honest because I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. I went 19 blissful years without a second thought of how many carbohydrates I was consuming or if I could pinch the fat on my stomach or not. But then again, I’ve always been averagely healthy or even thin. My relationship with food was so healthy that I never needed to diet because I genuinely enjoyed eating moderately healthy, and that's all it takes in my opinion. I was in the kitchen of my then apartment chatting with my roommate. (There were five of us in total) but this one (we’ll call her Stacy) was basically my best friend. She seemed awkward, and started talking about how her therapist had told her she needed her friends to start “holding her accountable”. I had no idea what she was talking about but I listened as I fixed myself lunch in the kitchen. She then explained that she was bulimic, she had been struggling with this for a while and that being completely transparent with the people around her about it would aid in her recovery. This, I completely agree with, don’t get me wrong. Maybe I’m selfish for wishing she hadn’t opened up to me as fully as she did that day, but this created a string of problems that are still present in my life years later. I think the fact that we lived together made it so much worse. Now that I had been made aware of her eating disorder I would literally hear her purging in the bathroom, I couldn’t ignore it, she wasn’t exactly subtle. I wanted to lose weight, so naturally I started restricting my diet. Unfortunately this is a stupid idea when you do it in extremes because scarcity leads to higher demand. I put unhealthy foods on a pedestal in my head, like they were something I could never have, which only made me want it more. I remember the first time I made myself throw up. I had made fried spring rolls for one of my roommates and me. (For someone struggling with an eating disorder I actually really enjoyed cooking). We were sitting down eating together and then he eventually got up to go to bed. I think I had a small amount of alcohol that night but basically the second he left I lost complete control around the food. I proceeded to eat all of the spring rolls and then a whole bag of kettle corn that had been sitting in our pantry for way too long. I think I would probably consider that my first “binge”. I was obviously uncomfortable with the amount of food I had eaten and so I proceeded to go to the bathroom, luckily our fan was extremely loud in there, this is something that never got fixed by maintenance unfortunately. Anyways, I purged everything and went to bed. I woke up thinking I had hacked the system. I could have my cake and eat it too, but how I wished it never happened. My brain got caught in a vicious restriction, binge and purge cycle. I had lost any sense of how to eat “normally” anymore. Food consumed my thoughts every. Single. Day. It sucks. I know that I’ve wanted to recover for a while now but it’s much easier said than done. Yesterday I binged on 4 doughnuts, two bowls of cereal, three tacos, and an assortment of random things in my kitchen. But! Today I resisted the urge to do all of that over again and instead I’m writing this. I don’t think I’ll be like this forever, at least I hope not. Breaking a habit takes time, I got this, and,if you related to anything I wrote, you got this too.

#eatingdisorder #personalessay #bulimia

[tariah23]

.

My Uncle passed away earlier today and man, it’s just… Mom hasn’t cried yet but I know that she will soon. It doesn’t even feel real. He was always known as the one that you could count on in the family. If someone died or was sick and he knew that you didn’t have a way to get to that person or to their funeral, etc, he’d always be the one to pick your ass up early in the morning to take you. He used to give the tightest hugs ever and I used to hate it whenever he’d kiss my cheek because of his beard lol. I’d always wipe his kisses off whenever he wasn’t looking lmfao. But now, man… he was always the silly, loud uncle and we have sm fun memories of him even before he got into drugs and got really sick with his diabetes and stuff. I remember how he’d always be the one in the family to take everyone everywhere in his big ole green family van back in the day… he used to give all of the kids money whenever he’d see us lol. A dollar but a dollar used to go a long way back in the early 00’s lmfao. I still wish that he could’ve taught my siblings and I how to drive… he taught sm of our cousins and other family members how to drive but not us lol. The last time that I talked to him was on Mom’s bday the other day (on the 18th) since he called and he sounded so out of it over the phone… not his usual loud and happy self. Sometimes, whenever he would call us, he’d pretend like he was the police or like, a random white guy and we’d all be like “we KNOW it’s you, Uncle Dale 😩!” Lmfaooo. He used to do that sometimes whenever he’d knock on our door, too like boy, stop. I remember when my sis and I got in trouble back in HS for shoplifting (our friend got us into it orz) and he was the one to pick us up from the station and we were scared of our other uncle, the one that no one likes, that asshole, was gonna pick us up and beat us or whatever. But Uncle Dale picked us up instead and we stopped at a gas station or something? And he was like “Y’all know damn well y’all don’t do this but if you were gonna steal, at least do it RIGHT! Like this!” *proceeds to demonstrate how to properly steal something without getting caught right in front of us* lmfaooo. He stole some candy off the shelf and pretended like he tripped and fell to the floor all extra like, twisting around like a goofy and then got up and had the candy in his pocket like, that memory always makes me burst out laughing so much whenever I remember it lmfao. Like bro 😭! I think he gave us the candy, too lol. My sis and I were like 16 at the time I think? My Uncle man, he was just always so fun and happy! I don’t think I’ve ever seen him get angry before or talk badly about anyone like he was just a good dude. He used to be a butcher and stuff and I remember him living in a huge house with his ex wife (she was awful and used to treat him badly. He paid for her weight loss surgery. He put her through school and paid for their house and basically did everything for her no matter how awful she would be towards him and she left him for a White dude 🚶🏾‍♀️ etc etc. No one in the family ever liked her anyway, even Granny. And if Granny didn’t like you than… 🗿. I remember when her daughter tricked my sis, cousin, and I into cleaning up her room for her after we came back from our grannies funeral and only paid us like, $1 or something and we had to split it 🗿. I should’ve told my mom on her. We were at our Uncle’s house when this happened since she lived there and had a big ass room to herself and when my cousin picked up her nasty underwear, we all freaked out and he tossed it across the room 🗿.) I’m getting off topic but man, we have sm great memories of him. He got on drugs and stuff and he lost a ton of weight (he used to be really hefty and stuff but the last bunch of times that we saw him, he just kept on getting skinnier and skinnier…. I hugged him and was like “Uncle Dale, you lost sm weight!?” out loud and I immediately felt awful afterwards. Man……… I’m just… His son, our cousin, just passed last year. He was murdered and we still don’t know who killed him.

#rambling #just… man

[weabooweedwitch]

Nah, man, sorry to say that but your mom is straight up blind. That dark lipstick goes super well with your dark hair and light complex. Don’t listen to your mother, and be proud of that fancy and great look you got there! 💅✨

THANK YOU because, ok, there are multiple reasons I'm kind of overly pissed lol. For one, personal opinions aside, it's like critiquing the main core of the idea? It's like, idk, going to a Glass Animals concert and saying "it would have been better without the stoner music" like girl thats the point? Am i phrasing this correctly 🤦‍♀️ its like someone asking how you like their job grooming a dog and you say "oh it would just be better if it wasnt a dog" and adding nothing else

Second, like, this is my first attempt doing a full look all on my own so im already nervous but also all the time and effort? I'm talking cleanser, toner, primer, eyeshadow primer, tinted moisturizer (found one that has like natural medium coverage in my exact shade and I feel like it might be good for my skin vs a foundation? Also just general testing what works for my oily skin), eyeshadow, mascara, a little eyebrow pencil wing for flavor lol, tried and failed at some contour and will have to try that again lol, and the main piece for me at least, the dark lipstick which is transfer proof by the way!! Which is a big win for me because lip products that come off your lips when you do anything are so temporary and just feel, weird? I had to scrub with micelluar water to get this off! (I think it's called Maybelline super stay matte ink lipstick. You have to wait for it to dry but goddamn I literally drank water and hit a bong after putting it on and it stayed soooo well, virtually nothing came off)

But yeah! It's. I think I've mentioned it before but a big part of this is like, I feel like I'm actually legitimately going through a combination quarter life crisis but also a maybe more positive significant shift in how I live my life idk? For the longest time i felt too ugly and heavy and gross and just subhuman to wear makeup and now that I've gotten older and more I guess life experienced and have lost weight I've started getting into it and it's been fun! It's like art you know, and it can be entertaining to find a makeup artists or influencer you like (I like Robert Walsh and his brother James, they're twins, a pro MUA and a dermatologist respectively). They also go from funny to educational so it's just idk, fun to scroll through the sheer mass of content. Also it's kind of just like art and painting when you think about it!

And like I did talk to her and she said I kind of misinterpreted what she said but it's still like, girl, please just lie and say it looks good next time. Like she thought I looked really good but she kept saying "the lipstick is just darker than I was expecting", which, yeah I could have gone more dark red, but I kinda just wanted to try something really dark but not black? I like the look and, ha, my male friend who's approval I've been a little gaga for said it looked good too so ❤️

I hope to make more looks in the future because it was fun, collect all sorts of nice pictures of different colors and styles. This whole deal today that I even put makeup on for was literally just to run errands, like get food and go to a smoke shop, because I don't get out much, but that's also part of the journey is that I hope to get out more and do more activities and wearing makeup during so will be a fun social thing you know? I'm being kind of wordy but you probably get it.

Also! I was inspired by like, this sort of color theory aesthetic video/clip I was seeing where they were showing "dark femininity vs light femininity" so it's like, pronounced brows, sharp/bold/dakr lipstick, bronzer contour, dark or smoky eyes, versus pink blush, lighter colors, glitters and shimmers, highlighted cheeks, you know? So my mom was kind of expecting light femininity when I was doing dark femininity. So her "main complaint" is actually for a look I want to do next 😅 but hey thanks for the support, this is actually so like, fascinating but complicated and nervewracking and also so much is subjective and I'm so unused to seeing myself like this that even though, realistically I looked good, I felt like a painted clown and like, a poser? A loser, idk. But the journey continues on :)

[tirednerd2012]

My dad chose my abuser over me today again

TW for pregnancy, past abuse, body issues and suicidal thoughts/actions.

Also Cousin if you see this, please don’t read the rant. Just call me or something. 

My stepmom abused me for years. She was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. She made comments about my body, weight and appearance to where I stopped eating a lot. She put her hands on me and then had my dad punish me when I fought back because she was “disciplining me.” She gave me a knife when my dad left for work after my mom had told them that I was struggling with depression and told me the world would be a much better place if I wasn’t in it. I was 16. And these are just some of the examples, I could go on but I’m not going to. But after the suicide attempt when I was 16, I left the house and didn’t come back. My last day we got into a physical fight and my father just watched the whole thing happened and he never once defended me to her. We went no contact for years until I became a Christian and prayed for him a lot, and after some healing and therapy, I wanted to confront him and after seeing remorse, I have been trying to build a relationship with him again.

My dad broke up with her shortly before my wedding (she cheated on him), and was upset when I walked myself down the aisle and then had a mother-daughter dance rather than a father-daughter. Apparently he wanted to say something at the wedding but was promptly shut down by the pastor who officiated the wedding and some of the groomsmen while my bridesmaids kept me and my husband occupied with other things, and I’m very thankful for that. He also got mad before that because when they were together, she was not allowed at my graduation party after I graduated college. I told him a couple of times that if she came, they would both be asked to leave. Mind you, she has never shown remorse for what she did. Never apologized or acted like she did anything wrong to me and to this day will say she was just playing around or disciplining me.

Well, they got back together a few weeks ago and he didn’t tell me because he was afraid how I was going to react. I found out from my grandfather who came by the house yesterday because he found some of my old baby books from his house and wanted me to have them for my child. He told me, thinking I already knew, and for some reason I felt like I was 16 all over again and he was choosing my abuser over me yet again. I talked to him today and he said that he doesn’t like being alone and that he’s allowed to make his own choices about who is in his life. He knows everything she did to me. And I know I may sound selfish but after I found out I was pregnant I thought about everything I went through and how I could never be with someone who hurt my child.

He then said that I needed to accept this and that she wanted to be in mine and my family’s life. She thought she had the right to my kid as her grandchild. And then he told me that if I couldn’t allow that, then he wouldn’t be in my child’s life either. That he wouldn’t help (never did anyway) and that he wouldn’t keep putting his life aside for me. That I’m too young to be a mother, that I’m going to fuck this kid up and I’m going to regret turning my back on my father and that my stepmom didn’t deserve such a jackass of a step daughter. 

I told him that he made his choice, that he’s right, he’s allowed to decide something like that, but he just lost one of his daughters and he is to never come around my kid when they get here. I hung up the phone and blocked him on everything while my husband did the same. I’ve been crying on and off for the last two hours thinking about it, and I literally feel like a child again. My husband has been comforting me this whole time and I’m thankful for him, but I also feel like I caused this because I’m the one who broke the no contact thing. I want my dad in my life but I don’t want this to be a constant fight.

#tw abuse #past abuse