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favefandomimagines · 3 years

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Fools Gold (r.c.)

Summary: how much are you worth to rafe and his friends?

AN: sorry the new obx pics that were posted inspired me to write an angsty af rafe fic also thinking about doing this same concept with JJ.

again, the rafe i write is not canon. he’s just a dick most of the time.

You weren’t friends with Rafe Cameron. There wasn’t any parallel universe where the two of you would be friends.

He despised you because you chose a life with the Pogues over a life with the Kooks. But he didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with Kie as he had with you.

You couldn’t figure out why he disliked you more than anyone on the island. You figured it had to do with the fact that he didn’t like the fact that everyone knew he slept with a Pogue.

Once upon a time, you lost your virginity to Rafe. After realizing how he acted towards you, you didn’t really know why. But at the time, you felt safe with him. Better him than some random tourist at a party.

But after you and Kie made the grand transition from Kook to Pogue, he never spoke to you again. And when he did, would he some mean and snarky comment that you tried not to let get to you. But a person can only take so much before the words start to stick.

—

You were at a Boneyard party with your friends, you and Kie talking about the upcoming beach cleanup the two of you were planning. You were minding your own business but you could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Dude, $500 you can’t get Y/N to go out with you and stay with her for 6 months.” Topper bet the older boy. “$500? That’s it? To get Y/N to go out with me?” Rafe laughed. “Yeah, it should be an easy $500 right?” Topper asked.

Rafe thought about it for a moment, deciding if he was really that bad of a person to lead you on like that. He didn’t really hate you as much as he said. He was just hurt that you felt he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

“It’s a bet. $500 in 6 months.” Rafe finally said. The two Kooks shook hands and Rafe’s fixation landed on you.

You were standing with Kiara by the fire, drinking your hand, clearly talking about something you were passionate about. Rafe noticed that whenever you talked about something you loved, you talked with your hands ten times more than you did normally.

He assumed you were talking about the ocean or something like that with how big your smile was.

Rafe then put on his asshole Kook facade and began to approach you. “Hey, Y/L/N!” He called. You took one look at him and instantly rolled your eyes.

“Can we help you?” Kie asked him. “I need to talk to Y/N. Alone if that’s not a problem with you.” Rafe sassed the girl. Kie looked at you, almost a nonverbal way of asking if you’d be okay alone.

You gave her a small nod and she reluctantly walked away. “What do you want, Rafe?” You sighed. “Go out with me.” He said. “What?” You questioned. “Go out with me. We can go somewhere on the mainland or somewhere local. Wherever you like.” He explained.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before you realized he wasn’t joking. “You’re serious?” You asked. “Yeah, I’m serious.” Rafe answered. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you want to go out with me after you’ve treated me.” You said.

“I was a dick. I’ll make it up to you. Just give me a chance.” Rafe replied. You looked at him for a moment, being very wary about the whole offer. “Okay. One date and if I even so much as a sense a stupid practical joke, I’m out.” You finally said.

Rafe smiled down at you before slowly backing up. “Great. I’ll pick you up, Friday at 6.” He said.

You had no idea what just happened. Rafe Cameron asked you out? And he actually seemed to mean it?

And to say the date went well was a total understatement for both you and Rafe. You both had an amazing time together, exploring the mainland and not having to worry about the Kook v. Pogue prejudice.

In the 6 months Rafe had been with you, he soon realized there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about you. He loved how you would dance around to your indie and alternative music as if no one was watching.

How you dragged him to the beach to watch the baby turtle eggs hatch. Even though he said he didn’t want to, he’d go anywhere if you asked.

Rafe also loved how you loved life in general. You didn’t care about the class system on the Outer Banks, you just cared about the people you loved. Your dad, your brother, the Pogues, and now Rafe.

Which made him feel even worse about the bet. It was nearing 6 months and Rafe knew he couldn’t just end it with you. He knew how that would hurt you. So he called Topper and asked him to call the whole thing off.

“Maybe we should just end the whole thing. You can have your money and we can call it off.” Rafe said over the phone.

“You aren’t going soft are me now are you?” Topper mocked. “No, I’m just saying this bet is stupid. It’s too easy now.” Rafe lied. “I’ll double it. $1,000 if you can make it to 6 months with Y/N.” Topper said.

Rafe hadn’t known you were going to come over so early so he thought he had time to talk to Topper. But you were standing out in the hallway in front of his door, listening to the whole thing.

“Wow, $1,000. Only an idiot would turn that down.” You sneered. Rafe turned around with wide eyes before quickly hanging up the phone. “H-How much did you hear?” He asked. “All of it.” You answered. “So you asking me out that night was a stupid bet? And our entire relationship has been a lie?” You asked, your voice raising.

“No, Y/N, let me explain.” Rafe pleaded. “Why should I? I think you and Topper explained everything perfectly. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I’ve just been a huge joke you and your friends could laugh about.” You said.

Rafe began to walk towards you but you talking a couple steps back made it very clear you didn’t want him coming near you.

“We’re done, Rafe. I hope you enjoy the money.” You said sadly before you left his bedroom. When you walked into the hall, you saw Sarah standing a little ways away, but you knew she heard everything. “Did you know?” You asked her. “Of course not. I had no idea he was doing this for money.” She answered.

“Everything was a lie. I-I really thought he cared about me.” You spoke quietly, the tears welling up in yours eyes.

Sarah frowned and pulled you into a warm embrace. She couldn’t help but feel guilty since it was her brother who was causing you so much pain. “I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but I think Im just gonna head home.” You said.

She didn’t want you driving home in the state you were in but she also knew that you being alone was what was best for you.

When you arrived home, you avoided your father’s questions like they were the plague and made a b-line for your bedroom. But even then you couldn’t escape Rafe’s presence because everything reminded you of him.

For weeks after you are Rafe broke up, you were a bit different. You didn’t really feel like yourself because you didn’t know what was real anymore. Finding out about the bet made you question everything and your self esteem took a pretty big hit.

But you were good at faking it for the most part. You still hung out with the Pogues as if nothing was wrong.You went out to Boneyard parties, hung out with Kie, surfed with JJ, went shopping with Sarah. But you could only pretend so much.

You were sitting on your surfboard in the water, JJ floating next to you as you two waited for a wave.

“JJ, can I tell you something?” You asked him. “Of course, Y/N.” He said. “Rafe and I broke up. Apparently I was nothing but a cash grab for him.” You confessed. “What? What do you mean, cash grab?” He asked. “I was just a bet. Apparently Topper bet him $500 to go out with me and make it 6 months. I guess he was calling Topper to call off the bet but he offered him $1,000. I haven’t told anyone, only Sarah knows.” You explained.

“You know he’s a moron, right? You’re not even worth $500, you’re priceless, Y/N and don’t let Rafe and his dickhead friends make you think any differently.” JJ said.

You could tell that telling him the truth really riled him up but he never fought with Rafe for the sake of you. Your friendship was more important than wanting to knock Rafe flat on his ass.

“What are you going to do?” JJ asked. “I don’t know. I’m having a very hard time believing he faked everything the past 6 months but Rafe is pretty convincing when he wants to be. But am I really that stupid to think he actually cared about me?” You answered.

“No, that doesn’t make you stupid. And what I’m about to say I will never admit to saying but what if Rafe actually did care about you? I mean, everyone knows his dad is always on his ass about money and he was going to turn it down for you.” JJ said.

You sat quietly for a moment, watching the stillness of the water before looking back to JJ. “Are you saying I should talk to him?” You asked. “I’m saying maybe you owe yourself that much.” He answered. “Since when the hell did you become so insightful? Usually you’d tell me to beat him up or smash his car.” You laughed.

“Well, this time I just want you to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, he made you very happy.” JJ said. “I really don’t like it when you’re right.” You muttered.

After a couple more minutes, you and JJ headed back to the beach and when you got there, Rafe was standing on the sand a few feet away from the shore line.

You slowed your pace slightly as you made eye contact with him. You readjusted your grip on your board as you and JJ kept walking. “Y/N, hey, can I talk to you?” Rafe asked uncomfortably.

You and JJ had never seen Rafe look less confident before until that moment. “JJ, I’ll meet you back at the Chateau.” You told the blonde. JJ nodded his head but not before giving Rafe a suspecting look as he walked away.

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve never taken that stupid bet in the first place. I-I guess I was holding a grudge against you before.” He said. “For what? I never did anything to you, Rafe.” You asked. “You left me. You chose the Pogues and the Cut over me. We were always friends before and then you and Kiara just decided it wasn’t good enough anymore. That I wasn’t good enough.” He explained.

“I didn’t choose the Pogues because of you, Rafe, or over you. Figure 8 is toxic and everyone we used to hang out with was terrible and I couldn’t do that anymore. You were the one who froze me out after we slept together. Let’s not also forget that you faked our entire relationship.” You rebutted.

“No, no, Y/N, I didn’t fake anything. Everything we had was real. You have no idea how it easy was to fall for you because you are amazing and I-I messed it up. I hurt you and I know it’s not going to make it better, but I’m sorry.” Rafe said.

You pushed your board into the sand before sitting down in front of it and motioned for Rafe to do the same.

“I was falling in love with you, Rafe. So to hear you and Topper just use me for your own sick enjoyment, broke my heart.” You started. “I defended you to everyone to just find out that they were right.” You finished. “You said ‘was.’ Like past tense.” Rafe spoke quietly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stared at the sunset. “I wish we could just move on, forget it ever happened but I don’t think we can.” You said.

Rafe’s body stiffened and he hung his head low, not liking where the conversation was going.

“But, we can start over. Clean slate.” You added. The boy looked up at you, almost as if he thought you were kidding. “Really?” He asked. “Yeah, really. But, on a few conditions.” You said. “Anything, I will do anything.” He said. “You leave my friends alone. He’s going to kill me for saying this but JJ was actually the one who told me we should talk so you kind of owe him. Second, you let me punch Topper, very very hard.” You told him.

Rafe laughed lightly at your words as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” He said. “Also, give me your phone.” You said. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you.

He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing as you opened the Venmo app.

You pressed ‘pay and request’ and put Topper’s user name in.

@TopperThornton: Pay $1,000

Summary: congrats, i lost the bet. Y/N is worth so much more. she’s also gonna kick your ass

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Rafe commented. You hummed in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Rafe pressed a light kiss on your forehead as the two of you watched the sunset together.

#Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #jj maybank #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #sarah cameron #topper thornton #imagine

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bananaofswifts · 3 years

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For Women's History Month 2021, GRAMMY.com is celebrating some of the women artists nominated at the 2021 GRAMMY Awards show. Today, we honor Taylor Swift, who's currently nominated for six GRAMMYs.

When we met Taylor Swift in 2006, it was immediately apparent that her songwriting approach was like ripping a page out of her diary.

"Just a boy in a Chevy truck/ That had a tendency of gettin' stuck/ On backroads at night/ And I was right there beside him all summer long/ And then the time we woke up to find that summer gone," she lamented in the first verse of her debut single, "Tim McGraw(opens in a new tab)." The way the then-16-year-old Swift could turn personal anecdotes into instantly memorable hooks mirrored the prowess of an industry veteran, appealing to more than just the teenage girls that could relate to a short-lived high school romance.

Now, nearly 15 years later, Swift has introduced another layer of intrigue with a foray into indie folk, unveiling a pair of albums, folklore and evermore, last year. Recorded entirely in isolation after the COVID-19 pandemic hit in March 2020, folklore has been widely acclaimed(opens in a new tab) as Swift's best album, touted for its intimate songwriting and cinematic dynamics; evermore has received similarly glowing reviews(opens in a new tab).

folklore was 2020's best-selling album(opens in a new tab) and earned Swift five GRAMMY nominations at the 2021 GRAMMY Awards show, including her fourth Album Of The Year nod. (evermore will be eligible for the 64th GRAMMY Awards in 2022.) As her 10 previous GRAMMY wins suggest, though, this new chapter isn't an abrupt departure for the star—it's a masterful continuation of her evolution as a singer/songwriter.

If there's one thing that Swift has proven throughout her career, it's that she refuses to be put in a box. Her ever-evolving sound took her from country darling to pop phenom to folk's newest raconteur—a transition that, on paper, seems arduous. But for Swift, it was seamless and resulted in perhaps her most defining work yet. And folklore’s radiance relies on three of Swift’s songwriting tools: heartfelt balladeering, autobiographical writing, and character-driven storytelling.

While there was always a crossover element to Swift's pop-leaning country tunes, her transition from country starlet to pop queen began with Red. The album’s lead single, the feisty breakup anthem "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together(opens in a new tab)," was Swift's first release to reach No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 (and, ironically, scoffed "indie records much cooler than mine"). She declared a full pop makeover with 2014's 1989, but the response proved that her bold move was the right one: Along with spawning three more No. 1 hits, the project won Swift her second GRAMMY for Album of the Year.

From there, 2017’s Reputation, a response to media scrutiny, and 2019’s Lover, an often bubbly exploration of all facets of affection, followed. Although they shared similarly grandiose production, Lover featured a handful of poetic ballads, including "The Archer(opens in a new tab)," a self-reflective love song that teased Swift's folk sensibilities through storybook lyrics and ambient textures.

Swift’s ballads are key in understanding the full essence of folklore. They’ve regularly marked standout moments on each of her albums, both thanks to her poignant vulnerability and rich tone. Fearless standout "White Horse" earned Swift two GRAMMYs in 2009; Red's painstaking "All Too Well" was an instant fan favorite; 1989's "This Love" and Reputation's "New Years Day" provided tenderness amid otherwise synth-heavy sounds.

The raw emotion she puts into her downtempo songs comes alive on folklore, introducing a new wave of neo-classical sonics that elevate her fanciful penmanship to an ethereal level. Whether or not Swifties saw a full indie-pop record coming—at least not yet—the shift isn't all that surprising. Folklore’s romanticized lyrics and relatively lo-fi production are arguably what many fans have been patiently waiting on.

Lyrically, the super-personal nature of Swift’s music has always captivated fans and naysayers alike; diehards and critics dissected each of her albums for its real-life subjects and hidden meanings. While she played into those conspiracies at the time—whether she was revealing names in titles like "Hey Stephen(opens in a new tab)" and "Dear John(opens in a new tab)" or scathing the other girl on "Better Than Revenge(opens in a new tab)"—even Swift herself admits that her teenage method had an expiration date.

"There was a point that I got to as a writer who only wrote very diaristic songs that [it] felt unsustainable for my future moving forward," she told Apple Music's(opens in a new tab) Zane Lowe in December of 2020. "It felt like too hot of a microscope ... On my bad days, I would feel like I was loading a cannon of clickbait when that's not what I want for my life."

That realization is what helped make folklore so memorable: Swift stripped away the drama to let her artful storytelling shine. Sure, there are occasional callbacks to personal happenings ("invisible string(opens in a new tab)" references sending her exes baby gifts and "mad woman(opens in a new tab)" alludes to her legal battle with Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun). Still, she largely shies away from her autobiographical narratives to make way for her imagination.

"I found myself not only writing my own stories, but also writing about or from the perspective of people I've never met, people I've known, or those I wish I hadn't," Swift wrote in a letter to fans(opens in a new tab) on social media the day folklore arrived. "The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible."

folklore might be her first full project dedicated to creating characters and projecting storylines, but Swift has shown a knack for fantasy from the start. Tracks like "Mary's Song (Oh My My)(opens in a new tab)" on her self-titled debut and "Starlight(opens in a new tab)" on Red saw Swift craft stories for real-life muses ("Mary's Song" was inspired by an old couple who lived next door to Swift in her childhood; "Starlight" was sparked from seeing a picture of Ethel and Bobby Kennedy as teens). Even when songs did pertain to her real life, Swift often had a way of flipping memories into whimsical metaphors, like the clever clap-back to a critic on Speak Now's "Mean(opens in a new tab)" or the rebound relationship in Reputation's "Getaway Car(opens in a new tab)."

To think that we wouldn't have folklore without a pandemic is almost surreal; it's already become such a fundamental piece of Swift’s artistic puzzle. There was no telling what may have come after the glittering "love letter to love itself” that was Lover, but it seems isolation made the singer rethink any plans she may have had.

"I just thought there are no rules anymore because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, 'How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?' If you take away all the parameters, what do you make?" she told Paul McCartney in a November (opens in a new tab)Rolling Stone(opens in a new tab) interview(opens in a new tab). "And I guess the answer is folklore."

Even if she hasn’t been making indie music herself, Swift has shown an affinity for the genre over the years through curated digital playlists(opens in a new tab). Those included four songs by The National including "Dark Side of the Gym," which she references on folklore single "betty(opens in a new tab)," and "8 (Circle)" by Bon Iver, Swift's collaborator on folklore's gut-wrenching "exile(opens in a new tab)" as well as evermore’s title track. (“Exile” is one of folklore’s GRAMMY-nominated cuts, up for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance.)

The National’s guitarist Aaron Dessner co-wrote nine and produced 11 of folklore's 16 tracks, soundtracking Swift's imaginative tales with sweeping orchestration and delicate piano. Their partnership started with "cardigan(opens in a new tab)," a melancholy take on teenage love(opens in a new tab) that's up for Best Pop Solo Performance and the coveted Song of the Year. The team-up was a dream come true for Swift, a self-proclaimed National superfan and a career highlight for Dessner, who shared in an Instagram post(opens in a new tab) about folklore that he's "rarely been so inspired by someone." He sees the album as a pivotal moment for both Swift's career and pop music.

"Taylor has opened the door for artists to not feel pressure to have 'the bop,'" Dessner shared with (opens in a new tab)Billboard(opens in a new tab) in September. "To make the record that she made, while running against what is programmed in radio at the highest levels of pop music—she has kind of made an anti-pop record. And to have it be one of the most, if not the most, successful commercial releases of the year that throws the playbook out.

"I hope it gives other artists, especially lesser-known or more independent artists, a chance at the mainstream," he continued. "Maybe radio will realize that music doesn't have to sound as pushed as it has. Nobody was trying to design anything to be a hit. Obviously, Taylor has the privilege of already having a very large and dedicated audience, but I do feel like it's having a resonance beyond that."

Swift's other primary folklore collaborator was Jack Antonoff. He has been her right-hand man since they first paired up on 2013's promotional single "Sweeter Than Fiction(opens in a new tab)" (Swift referred to him as "musical family" in her folklore announcement(opens in a new tab)). Even after years of creating stadium-ready pop smashes, Antonoff said in his own folklore Instagram post(opens in a new tab), "I've never heard Taylor sing better in my life / write better."

As Swift recognizes herself, folklore ushered in a new way of thinking for the superstar that not only brings out her best, but sets a promising precedent for what's to come. "What I felt after we put out folklore was, 'Oh wow, people are into this too, this thing that feels really good for my life and my creativity,'" Swift added in her interview with Lowe. "I saw a lane for my future that was a real breakthrough moment of excitement and happiness."

Her enthusiasm is tangible on both folklore and evermore. Dubbed folklore’s sister record, evermore further expands Swift’s newfound mystical atmosphere. Much to the delight of many Swifties, the follow-up also calls back to her country beginnings on tracks like the HAIM-assisted “no body, no crime(opens in a new tab),” as well as her pop expertise on more uptempo cuts like “long story short(opens in a new tab).”

Together, the albums are a momentous reminder that Swift is a singer/songwriter first. Her wordcraft is some of the most alluring of her generation, and that’s never been lost on her music, regardless of the genre she’s exploring. But now that Swift also feels she's at her best, it’s evident folklore was just the beginning of Taylor Swift in her finest form.

#taylor swift #folklore #Grammy #WOW

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broadwaybaggins · 4 years

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I scream, you scream

“You...fell.”

“Yes.”

Jed narrowed his eyes, fixing Byron Hale with a piercing look. Bryon didn’t flinch under his gaze, but he did at least have the decency to look guilty. Mary, standing next to Jed, wished she could be anywhere but there. Back in her cramped cabin with the girls, in the art barn with Anne and Emma--hell, she’d even take lifeguard duty with Alice Green at this point.

Jed took a deep breath. “You fell...into the poison ivy.”

No one spoke for a moment, the only sound the faint melody of some acoustic indie--folk song that Mary didn’t know playing quietly over the speakers (Jed had won their daily battle over who got to control the music). Finally, Mary broke the silence.

“...With your pants down.” It wasn’t a question.

Byron’s face turned redder than the sunburn Mary had treated a few hours ago. “Yes! That’s what happened. I fell into poison ivy with my pants down. How many times are you going to make me say it?” His hands clenched into fists at his sides. He was shaking now. Mary wasn’t sure if it was from anger, embarrassment, or an overwhelming need to keep himself from scratching.

“I thought it would be fine, I went to bed, and this morning...well, you can imagine. Now can you please give me something for it?” He spoke to Jed alone. “Please, help me out. I’m dying over here.”

Mary crossed her arms over her chest as Jed bit his lip, seeming to weigh his options. Was he really trying to figure out if he could help him, or was he just trying to torture Byron? Either seemed possible.

“Fine. Go in the back room,” Jed said, indicating the makeshift sick room they had in the back of the health lodge, which contained a tiny cot in case a camper needed to lie down. Most of the cases the health lodge dealt with--scrapes, bug bites, skinned knees and the like--were treated in the big front room where they stood now, but Mary understood the need for privacy. She nodded at Jed--it was the first sensible thing he’d said all day. “One of us will be in with you in a minute.”

Well, that was short-lived. One of us?

Byron nodded gratefully and shuffled off to the back. Jed out after him without turning around. “Am I to assume we may also expect to see Miss Hastings soon for a...similar predicament?”

Byron cringed, turning even redder if possible. “I--maybe. You--you might. But I’m pretty sure I got the...worst of it.”

Jed nodded. “Great. One of us will be in with you in a minute.”

As soon as Byron had disappeared into the back, Mary whirled on Jed. “What the hell do you mean, one of us? You have to treat him!”

“Come here.” Jed’s fingers closed around Mary’s elbow before she had time to react, and he pulled her into the tiny office of the health lodge. There was a counter with a window that could open to the outside--it was where the campers who had to take medication came each day to get their meds--but it was closed now, so they could speak in relative private. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he chastised, his voice low. “You’re going to be a doctor. You can treat him just as much as I can.”

Mary stared at him. This was like deja vu from care package day, and she didn’t care for it. “I know that. I cannot emphasize enough how much I don’t want to.”

Jed looked uncomfortable. “You think I do? Sharing a cabin with him is hard enough.”

“All the more reason that you should do it. You have...previous experience.”

Now he looked pained. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that, Phinney. Go on. It’ll be good for you. Isn’t doing things that scare you one of our camp mottos or something?”

“I am not scared,” Mary hissed. She frantically searched her mind for another argument. “You got to pick the music!”

It was a poor effort and they both knew it. Jed raised an eyebrow at her just as the door of the health lodge banged open. A tearful wail split the air as a little voice cried out. “I want Nurse Maryyyyyyyyyyy!”

“I know, baby, I know,” Charlotte crooned. She caught sight of Mary and Jed in the office and waved them out. “She’s right here, okay? She’ll make you feel better.”

Mary shot Jed a look of triumph. “Duty calls, I’m afraid. Tell Byron I said hi. Make sure to wear your gloves.”

“This isn’t over, Phinney.”

-------------

When Mary poked her head into the back room sometime later, Jed was sitting on the cot, looking exhausted and jaded as ever. Byron was nowhere to be seen--must have slipped out the back door. Jed looked up at Mary and managed a wan smile. “Ah, Phinney. Is our young friend still with us?”

She shook her head. “Char just left with her. She’s okay, she just rolled her ankle a bit. She’ll be fine.”

“She asked for you specifically. That’s good--you’re good with the kids.”

It was probably the closest he’d come to complimenting her all summer. “Thanks. I’m thinking about going into pediatrics.”

“You’d be good at it.”

“Is Byron...”

Jed rolled his eyes in a way that would rival Anne on her best day. “He’ll live. If it helps at all, it was mostly on his ass.”

“Mostly?”

“Best not to think too much about it.” He fixed Mary with a traumatized look, and after a moment, she burst out laughing. He laughed too, shaking his head. “They don’t pay us enough for this damn job.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Mary had to agree. “God, you look miserable. Thanks for taking one for the team. Um...can I make it up to you?”

The question flew out of Mary’s mouth before she had time to think about it. He looked at her curiously and she hoped he hadn’t taken it the wrong way. An image flew into her mind unbidden of her and Jed pressed against the wall of the health lodge...or trying to share the tiny cot he was currently perched on...

“I mean--candy,” she sputtered. “I got a bunch of candy from home--I’m more than happy to share--”

Jed looked at her thoughtfully apparently oblivious to her discomfort, then stood up. “I will take you up on your offer, but I have something else in mind. Come on, follow me.”

“W-what?” Mary asked, not comprehending.

He brushed past her in the doorway, a spicy scent filling Mary’s nose as he did so. Campfire smoke for sure, but there was something else...

“You’re going to buy me an ice cream. Come on, let’s go.”

Not knowing what else to do, she followed him. A wall of humidity assaulted her as soon as she left the air-conditioned cocoon of the health lodge.They locked the door and flipped the sign over so that cheerful woodland creatures proclaimed to all that they would “be right back.” Jed shoved his hands deep in his pockets, and they set off across the main part of camp towards the snack bar.

The snack bar at Camp Green Wood was a relatively recent addition--one of the only new buildings built in the last five years. It sold everything from ice cream to chips and candy, and parents of campers put money into an account at the beginning of the summer so the kids could purchase snacks without actually handling any currency. Mary hadn’t actually been there yet, but she had to admit that it was a pretty genius idea.

“So, that little girl who came in,” Jed said as they walked. “She called you Nurse Mary.”

Mary blushed, giving a little shrug. “A couple of them have started doing that. I’m not really sure why. I guess ‘Going-to-be-a-doctor-someday Mary’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I don’t really mind. They’re little kids. If it helps them to think of me as a nurse, I don’t have a problem with that.”

“No, it’s just interesting, that’s all. I’m pretty sure most of them just call me Jed.”

They passed the administration office, where raised voices could be heard even through the closed window. Mary thought she heard the words “cannot afford” before a door slammed and cut them off. She looked at Jed, both of them walking faster as if trying to stay as far as possible from whatever the Greens were arguing about.

They reached the snack bar and Mary looked up at the menu, considering her options. The caramel sundae sounded good, but she glanced at Jed and asked, “I haven’t had anything from here yet. What’s good?”

He looked at her in shock, and Mary crossed her arms defensively. “What? I’m busy. I haven’t had time. Seriously, what’s good here.”

“Forgive her, she’s new,” Jed told the guy behind the counter. He turned and looked over Mary critically, as if appraising her. “Do you trust me?”

“What?”

“It’s a simple enough question.”

It actually wasn’t, but Mary didn’t feel like pointing that out. “Sure.”

“Mary Phinney. I’m gonna need a more definitive answer than that. Do you trust me.”

He leaned in close to her, maybe a little too close. Mary’s heartbeat sped up just a bit. Fuck.

“I trust you.”

“Okay. Now that that’s settled.” He backed off, and Mary could breathe again. “Favorite flavor of slush?”

“Huh? S--Strawberry.”

A strange look came into his eyes, surprise and satisfaction all at once. He turned back to the order window. “Two strawberry glaciers, please. On her tab.”

Their order taken, Jed ushered Mary towards the pick-up window. “What’s a glacier?” Mary asked, but he waved her question away.

“You’ll find out.” Jed drummed his fingers on the counter as he waited. Mary watched him as discreetly as she could. He finally looked like he was a bit more at ease, something that until now she had only observed when he was around the campfire with his guitar. It was as if he and Mary had entered into a truce, at least for now--the bickering put on hold at least until they’d finished their ice cream. And maybe...

Girlfriend, Mary. He has a girlfriend, remember?

“Two strawberry glaciers!” From behind the counter, the other guy produced two cups filled to the brim with strawberry slush, topped with a generous dollop of soft serve vanilla ice cream in the middle. Mary took hers and regarded it with curiosity. This hadn’t been what she had expected.

“Thanks, Kendrick,” Jed told the guy, taking his own glacier and waving goodbye. There was a little bench along the side of the snack bar, and this is where Jed led Mary, sitting down and indicating what she should sit next to him. “I have to admit, I didn’t have you pegged as a strawberry girl. It’s my favorite, too.”

“What kind did you think I’d like?” Mary asked, genuinely curious.

Jed studied her intently for a minute, and Mary tried to shake the feeling that he was looking at her under a microscope, all of her flaws and secrets--even how she felt about him--on display for him to see.

“Maybe green apple,” he said finally. “Sweet, but with a bite, too.” He held out his glacier to Mary. “Cheers, Phinney.”

She tapped her paper cup against his and dug her spoon in, making sure to get both ice cream and slush on the first bite. The minute it touched her tongue, her eyes widened, and Jed laughed.

“Right? Best slushies I’ve ever had. I don’t know how they do it. And the soft serve is just...”

“Perfect. It tastes like all the best things about summer.”

“That’s it. That’s it exactly.” Jed punctuated his words with a huge bite of his own. He got a bit of soft-serve in the corner of his mouth and Mary tried not to imagine leaning over to wipe it away...or placing her lips there just enough to--

"I--I can’t believe that just happened, by the way?” she stammered, desperate for a change of subject that would make her stop imagining the way his lips probably tasted like strawberries now too. Even if the subject change meant bringing up Byron again.

Jed, apparently feeling the same way, made a face. “Come on, Mary. We’re eating.”

“I just mean, what are the odds?”

Jed arched an eyebrow at her. “I think you know the odds probably more than anyone, considering you bunk with Anne.”

Mary’s face turned red, and she stared at her ice cream for a few seconds. Finally, Jed laughed. “We do have a bit of a...reputation, you might say, for debauchery among the staff. At least in the last few years. It’s not something we’re proud of. At least, I’m not proud of it. To be frank, I’m not sure why the good people of Virginia continue to trust us with their children. Something tells me the Greens spend a good deal of time and money to keep our public image squeaky-clean. Although, numbers are down this year, so you never know...”

“Are they?” Mary asked. It was the first she’d heard of such a thing.

“Yeah, there’s a few cabins that aren’t being used at all this year. Usually we’re full up, with a waiting list and everything. It’s just kind of weird, that’s all. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though.”

They fell silent, just enjoying their glaciers and the brief respite from the heat that the shade provided. Anne happened to walk by with a group of campers, spotted Mary, and did a series of discreet but increasingly lascivious gestures that, blessedly, Jed did not see. Mary waved her away, and Anne turned her attention back to her group, but not before winking suggestively at Mary and cackling loudly.

“Are you liking it here?” Jed asked, scraping his spoon against the ice cream dregs in the bottom of his cup.

Mary was a bit taken aback--given Jed’s previous treatment of her, the endless back-and-forth bickering that they usually participated in, this wasn’t a question she had been preparing to get from him. But he looked genuinely interested, and she nodded. “I am. It’s different than I thought. Less work, more...”

“Sitting around wondering how many more times you can inventory medical supplies and listen to camp songs?” Jed offered. Mary laughed.

“Yeah. But the people are nice, and it’s good work experience. So yeah, I do. I like it here.”

“Good.” Jed held out his hand for her empty cup, which she handed to him. He tossed both in the trash, then stood up. “Because we’re glad to have you here, and I’m afraid the health lodge awaits us.��

“Yeah, we should be heading back.”

“And Phinney?”

“Yeah?”

“The next time Byron Hale comes to us with poison ivy in a...delicate location, you are dealing with it.”

Mary allowed herself to smirk. “We’ll see about that.”

#summer camp AU #Jedediah Foster #Mary Phinney #with bonus Byron Hale being ridiculous #modern Mercy Street #I really want a glacier right now

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killerqueenys · 5 years

Text

successful||roger taylor x reader

Warning(s): none

Word count: 4,278

A/N: This is a request from @deacyloverogerinalove! I really enjoyed writing this even though it took me a little while. I’m really grateful for all the love that my first fic got and there will definitely be more parts. Also, if you have any requests, feel free to dm me any time! Ok, enjoy!

Summary/request: Reader and Roger were best friends as children, so close, they were born in the same day in the same hospital on the same ward and their mothers soon became friends as did they. But when it hit high school and Reader left to pursue acting, they had a huge argument and hated each other. An amazing friendship turned into pure hatred for one another. Her reason for leaving was that everyone in their home town was unsuccessful, a nobody. But when she returns years later, she’s just that. A nobody and with Roger being a world famous drummer. She tries to reconnect with him after changing her name and she’s basically gold digging.

“It’s ridiculous!”

You had been fighting with your best friend for the past hour. You didn’t know how or when the conversation had escalated, but now you were both yelling venomous words at one another that could never be taken back.

“Ridiculous? Roger, it’s my dream! This is what I want more than anything and you’re saying that it’s ridiculous?” you paused. “Or is it because you think it’s ridiculous for me?

Roger looked down, guilt evident in his sad expression. The truth was that he didn’t want you to leave. But he couldn’t tell you that. It’d make him seem weak. Pathetic. Selfish. You had been there for him all his life from the moment you were both born at the same hospital in the rooms just across from each other. You had spent every birthday together and ate lunch with one another at school when there was no one else. You had comforted and encouraged him when he cried the first day of kindergarten (although he would never admit that he did). You were there for him when his first girlfriend had broken up with him and when he wasn’t happy with the music he was writing. You were always supportive.

It wasn’t one sided either. He was your shoulder to cry on when Tommy pushed you on the playground or when Katelyn called you names during math class. He had always stood up for you and he was there when you felt like the whole world was against you. He always believed in you and pushed you to be your best. But it was different now. You weren’t those two little kids skipping their way to the local grocery store a block away every day for popsicles. You had hopes and dreams and plans for the future.

Roger had been your rock. Your anchor. Your constant. And you had hoped that he would be your future too which is why it pained you so much to hear that he didn’t believe in you. Maybe you really weren’t cut out for acting. Roger had always had your best interests in mind after all.

“Look, I’m not saying that you can’t do it but...Y/N it’s just so unrealistic. Look at where we live! Not a single person here has amounted to anything more than an extra in some stupid sitcom.” he argued.

“Whatever. I can’t let you get in my head because I honestly think I can do this,” your voice wavered trying to hold back tears. “You know, I always thought that out of everyone you’d believe in me but I guess not. I guess I really am alone.”

You left without another word, slamming the door behind you as you ran down two blocks to your house.

-----

It had been five years since you’d moved to New York to go to a prestigious school for theatre and the performing arts. You changed your name (not officially or legally though), bought new clothes, cut your hair and even dyed it in a desperate attempt to leave your little town and boring past behind. You had been having fun learning the ins and outs of film. In truth, you were still trying to get ahold of your life outside of the town you had grown up in. After all, it was a huge change going from a relatively unknown place to the Big Apple.

At first, you thought about that little town often. Every day in fact. You called your mother once a week to check up on things back at home. You considered asking her about Roger but always shied away from the topic. Knowing that you two had left off on a bad note, your mother never brought him up either. You hadn’t spoke to him since that argument on your last day in town in his backyard.

Thoughts of Roger and what he could be up to filled your mind every time you came back to your cramped dorm room after hours of lecturing on the History of Cinema and Using the Right Lens to Capture the Best Atmosphere and Tone. You loved film with all your heart but it became tiring.

Perhaps you had the talent and passion, but you certainly didn’t have the energy or determination. You had been in a few indie films, but after all this time you still hadn’t gotten your “big break”.

You were going to school and working two different part-time jobs to support yourself. You were stretching yourself thin and it would only be so long until you’d snap. Every rejection you got put a hole in your self-esteem and you began to wonder if this was really for you. Of course, acting was your passion but you would be lying if you said that the idea of just giving up and going back home to rest didn’t give you relief.

“Ten more auditions.” you promised yourself. If none of those go right, you’ll just go back home and figure it out from there. You were done with this life. It was tiring and only made you feel insecure about yourself. No amount of love or passion could persuade you to pursue this.

Then again, Roger could have. He would have told you that you couldn’t give up and that it shouldn’t even be an option. But Roger wasn’t in your corner anymore. Roger was off doing god knows what. You were alone.

-----

Two years later, you were packing your things for a flight back home. Back to that small town where everyone was no one. The ten auditions you had promised yourself turned into 30. You got a few callbacks, minor roles for filmmakers that were trying to make it just like you were. But all of those big roles that you had wanted so badly were always “the wrong fit” or it was always a “we decided to go in a different direction” call.

That was exactly what you had decided to do. Go in a different direction. Backwards.

-----

Walking around the streets where you had grown up was an emotional rollercoaster. At each and every turn there was something that triggered a memory inside of you. Most of those memories were made with Roger, you realized. You couldn’t help but wonder where he was and what he was doing these days. It had been almost seven years since you had spoken to him and as you looked at the grocery store that had become your hangout spot as children, you felt a little hole in your heart. You really missed him.

Walking into the store for your signature orange creamsicle (just for old time’s sake), you felt nostalgic as you imagined the seven year old version of yourself and Roger racing each other to the store as the poor owner yelled at you for the millionth time to stop running around and causing a mess.

“Hey Dan, how’s it been?” you chuckled, taking small steps towards the store owner, leaning against the counter.

“Y/N?” he asked excitedly as you nodded. “Wow, almost didn’t recognize you! Man, I swear you were just a little kid when you left!” “Well actually I go by Y/F/N now. Guess I just wanted to leave this place behind but, well… now I’m back. Maybe for good. I don’t know, still figuring it out.” you thought out loud.

He started talking again but you weren’t paying attention. Your eyes focused onto the small television screen in the corner of the room just behind the counter. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Is that fucking Roger??” you asked, cutting him off mid-sentence.

“Yeah, he’s been with this band called Queen or something for a while now. You didn’t know? What happened I thought you were best friends?”

“Yeah well things didn’t work out. Sorry Dan but I gotta go.” you said already sprinting out the front door.

-----

“Queen???” you shouted out to your mother after practically slamming the door open. “He’s with Queen now?? Why the hell did no one bother to tell me??”

“Baby, you did ask us not to talk about him…” your mother replied calmly, hoping to tone down your anger and shock.

“I know, I know,” you sighed rubbing your forehead. “It’s just… I didn’t think that THAT’S what he’d be doing.” You had listened to Queen many times before but you hadn’t been catching up about them in the news. Their music was all you knew about them.

“Look baby, they’re having a little show in town in two weeks. I know that you and Rog didn’t leave off in the best place but… don’t you think that it’s time to at least talk to him?”

“I’ll think about it.” you said as calmly as you could.

The truth was that you were most definitely going to that show. Your years at acting school hadn’t been kind on your wallet and being a world famous drummer must come with its perks. What could you lose from a little reconnection with Roger?

-----

You had spent two weeks catching up with old friends around town and before you knew it, Queen was in town.

After years away in New York, you had stopped caring about Roger and thought about him less and less. However, something about being in this town made you miss him and the adventures you had together. You had to admit that you were a little nervous to see him again.

Looking into the mirror, you looked totally different from the girl who left town seven years ago. You almost couldn’t see how that girl and the girl looking back at you now were the same person.

But that was what you wanted. If you were going to use Roger for his money, you didn’t want to do it as the girl he knew all those years ago. It would break your own heart for him to realize what kind of person you had become.

Five minutes. Oh my god five minutes?? You had to get going otherwise you’d miss the first few songs.

-----

The venue was small and crowded. You recognized some people from around town but from the amount of people there were, it seemed that some had traveled quite the distance to see Queen.

The lights went dark as the crowd’s cheers grew. The spotlight shone across the empty stage as the band’s guitarist and bassist stepped out. The crowd grew so loud that it was almost deafening. Then, there he was.

Roger Taylor.

Your Roger Taylor. Roger Taylor who cried on the first day of kindergarten (though he would never admit that). Roger Taylor who was too afraid to play on the swings until you convinced him that it would feel like flying. Roger Taylor who came to you for help on his english homework every day because he had fallen asleep in class again.

But was he still that same Roger Taylor? You knew that fame changed people and knowing Roger, he could definitely have grown an ego bigger than the one he already had.

Your mind was swimming with thoughts and memories of your past and you couldn’t help but stare at him. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Roger even as Queen’s front-man stepped out in the most eye-catching costume.

“Hey, we all want a piece of him. You’ll have to get in line.” the girl next to you nudged you after catching you staring at Roger.

-----

The show went well and their music was amazing. There wasn’t a single stiff body within the crowd.

Now you were backstage with a bunch of other girls. You were shocked as to how many young women there were wearing the most revealing clothing that they had in their closets. Of course you knew that he would have groupies but you didn’t know to what extent.

It was weird to think about. All these girls chasing after Roger when you had always known him as that loser that had fallen off of the slide in the 11th grade (parents around the playground would ask you “aren’t you a little old to be playing on the playground?” but you didn’t care. You were just having fun with your best friend).

But isn’t that what you were doing? Trying to get close with this rockstar just so that you could maybe afford a place to live?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the screams of the young girls around you as Roger stepped out of his dressing room. Standing off to the side a little, Roger could see you clearly despite the large number of women crowding around his door.

“Y/N?” he asked himself in disbelief. “Hey, can we get that girl through here?” he turned to his bodyguard pointing towards you. Much to the dismay of the girls backstage, you were brought to the front of the crowd and into the drummer’s dressing room.

As the door shut behind you, your heart sped up. What were you thinking? He’d recognize who you were, wouldn’t he? He would definitely catch you in this lie oh my god you need to get out of h-

“Y/N? Hello?” his voice snapped you back to reality. What were you going to do?

“No actually, I’m Y/F/N. Sorry if you were expecting someone else.” you answered hesitantly. He had definitely caught you. There was no way that you were getting away with this.

“Oh sorry… you just… looked like someone I used to know” he said with disappointment clearly in his voice. He looked down with the saddest expression you had ever seen and you almost considered telling the truth. But you couldn’t because well… money.

There were a few moments of silence before you finally spoke. “Well…what now?

“Well honestly,” he sighed. “I’m not really up for sex right now. Wow, don’t think I’ve ever said that…”

“What? Not pretty enough?” you joked.

“No no it’s not that at all it’s just that...I was really hoping to see that girl today.” he spoke sadly.

The room went silent again. You were sure that you would have been caught by now and honestly, you didn’t really have a plan.

“Tell me about her.” you finally spoke.

“God she was...perfect. My very best friend since we were born.” he spoke fondly. “She was so kind and she was always there for me until she left. And then I was alone.”

You felt like you were being invasive because it was you that he was speaking of and he didn’t even know it. Somewhere in the back of your mind though, you were comforted by the fact that he felt exactly the same way as you did being apart from each other. Alone. Lost. Incomplete.

-----

You had been talking to Roger for hours about anything and everything all while holding up this fake persona.

“Oh my god it’s 4am,” you suddenly realized, looking at the clock above roger’s mirror. “I have to get going. Got a busy day tomorrow.”

“Wait,” Roger said holding onto your arm. “Okay this is really rare for me to do and I can’t believe I’m even asking this right now but… can I see you again?”

“Sure,” you spoke as you tried to hold back a smile. “Seven o’clock at the Angel Bar next week. Don’t be late.”

“What? No number?” he asked as you slid out the door.

“No number.” you smiled and made your way back home.

-----

Soon enough, it was next week. You sat on a bar stool as you watched Roger walk through the door. Usually he was confident, but if you weren’t mistaken, you could see that he was a little nervous.

“So you finally decided to make it huh?” you laughed.

“Hey! I’m only… ten minutes late!” he smiled looking down at his watch.

-----

It had been several hours and several rounds of drinks later until the topic of money came up. Honestly, you were enjoying the time to catch up with your friend even if he didn’t know that it was you. You were starting to regret this entire scheme and considered just telling him the truth. But you couldn’t do that. You were too far in and you REALLY needed that money. The little place that you had been living in expected rent soon and your pockets were completely empty.

“Yeah, money’s been a little tight lately,” you looked down feeling guilty because you shouldn’t be doing this. Sure you left off on a bad note but he was still your friend.

“How short are you?” he asked right away.

“What?” you asked confused as to why he was so eager to know.

“How much money do you need?” he asked again.

“No you can’t do that.” you had to at least ACT like you weren’t just using him for his money. If you went straight to telling him how much you wanted, he would be suspicious.

“Y/F/N, it’s fine. Just tell me how much you owe and I won’t judge you.” he asked again.

“$400…” you sighed.

“Darling that’s nothing, I’ll cover it.” he answered quickly.

“Really? That’s too much for me to ask of you.” you lied.

“How about this?” he bargained. “I’ll pay your rent if you go on another date with me.”

“Deal.” you smiled.

-----

With the money problem being out of the way, you had actually been able to enjoy your dates with Roger.

You had gone on two more dates after the one at the bar and now, you were on your fourth. You had avoided anything physical. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but fall in love. You loved him.

You were in love with Roger Taylor.

You walked through the park, holding Roger’s hand as you realized this. But you couldn’t say anything. You were Y/F/N not Y/N. You weren’t the girl he knew growing up who would clean up his scraped knee and read to him on the tire swing in your backyard because you had learned how to read far before he did. Now you were the girl that he had met backstage in a crowd of tens of other girls and the girl that was using him for his wealth.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed that you and Roger had stopped walking and were now standing at the edge of the lake. You felt his eyes on you as you stared out into the shallow lake.

Was that what you were being? Shallow? No, you didn’t love Roger for his money, you loved him for him. Right?

You turned and looked into his blue eyes and he looked back. Were they always that blue? Your mind filled with panic when you realized that you had been standing closer to him than you thought. The tension was palpable as your foreheads rested against each other.

“Y/F/N,” Roger whispered so quietly that you could barely hear it. “I love you.”

Your heart started to pound in your ears. Did he really just say that? THE Roger Taylor said that? You were overwhelmed with happiness until you realized.

He said Y/F/N, I love you. Not Y/N, I love you.

You couldn’t keep this up anymore. You couldn’t keep lying to him and let him keep falling in love when this wasn’t really you.

“Roger, wait.” you stopped him just as your lips were about to meet. “I’m not-”

“I know.” he interrupted. “I meant what I said, Y/N. I love you no matter what name you have or what colour your hair is. I love you.

Then it finally happened. Your lips met in a passionate and long awaited kiss. You feared that it would be awkward but it just felt right. It was as if your lips and mouths were made to fit with each other perfectly. The world around you seemed to dull out and the lake went quiet. In this moment, it was just you and Roger. Your best friend since birth. Through childhood. Perhaps the love of your life.

“I love you, Roger.” you said, only breaking apart for some air.

“I’m sorry for how we left things off.” he sighed, your noses still touching and your foreheads pressed together. “I love you and I should never have doubted you.”

“I’m sorry for how I started this.” you laughed. “I shouldn’t have tried using you for your money.”

You both laughed and it felt like when you were children. You two had always had a bad habit of downplaying situations that were quite serious.

“Why did you do that anyways?” he questioned innocently.

“Acting didn’t go so well and now…I’m completely broke,” you admitted. “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew it was me?”

“Dunno actually...guess I just trusted that you knew what you were doing.” he chuckled.

“Well, you were wrong. I had no idea what I was doing.” you laughed.

Soon the two of you burst out into a fit of laughter until your stomachs hurt. Collapsing on the grass together as you caught your breath, you looked into Roger’s eyes again. They reminded you of your childhood and your past but also of your present and where you were right now in this exact moment.

“Roger...you were right. About acting. It was really just a ridiculous dream and I have no idea what I’m gonna do now.” you said feeling comfortable with Roger again. Like you could talk about anything and he would be there. Just like how it was as kids.

“No, you can’t say that,” he answered suddenly sitting up. “Y/N, I always believed in you I just didn’t want you to leave me. You can’t give up Y/N.”

“Rog, I already tried for seven years. I just don’t think I’m cut out for it.” you said casually.

“No Y/N it’s your dream. C’mon, money isn’t an issue anymore. You have to keep trying.”

Deep down in your heart, you knew that he was right. You didn’t have a single clue as to what you would do if acting didn’t work out for you. It truly was your passion and you loved it with all your soul. But then you thought back to all those rejections. All the times when your agent had called you saying that it didn’t work out. It had broken your spirit and made you doubt yourself.

“Roger I can’t! I already tried for seven years and-” you argued before Roger cut you off.

“And you’ll try for seven more years if that’s what it’ll take.” he looked into your eyes with hope. Those blue eyes, full of hope. “Let’s go to LA.”

“What?” you said breaking out of your trance. There was no way that he just said that.

“Yeah, pack tonight and we’ll leave for LA tomorrow. I want you to get started as soon as possible because I know that you can do this.” he smiled.

You were in shock but still found yourself nodding before you even knew what was going on.

The next day, you were on a flight to LA with Roger.

-----

Three Years Later…

You made it. Driving back home from your agent’s office, you were beaming. This would be your third big Hollywood role. You were making quite the name for yourself.

After flying to LA, you had started going out for auditions straight away. You constantly got rejected just like you had before. The difference this time was that Roger was here with you. Despite all the times you had gotten turned down, Roger was in your corner. He had encouraged you every day to keep going and told you that you “had the talent” so often that you knew he was going to say it before he even opened his mouth.

You were proud of yourself. You hadn’t gotten here because of Roger’s fame or money. No one knew of your connection until last year when the two of you had announced that you were together. All of your roles were earned by your own talent and determination (with words of encouragement from Roger of course).

Money wasn’t a problem anymore. You didn’t need to rely on Roger after those first two big roles had brought in enough money to support the both of you for ages.

You were forever grateful that Roger had convinced you to pursue your passions and believe in yourself.

Walking into the small and modest flat that you and Roger had bought together, you smiled upon seeing him struggling to make dinner.

“This is ridiculous!” he cried out in frustration. “Why would you add that much water?”

“Baby just follow the recipe,” you laughed. “You really can’t do a whole lot wrong with pasta.”

“Look who’s talking!” he replied. “Wasn’t it you that nearly burned down my house in the fifth grade trying to make soup?”

“That was totally you!” you retorted as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Well then, I think that maybe you should help me before I burn this pasta.” he said leaning in for a kiss.

“I didn’t ask for you to cook Rog,” you chuckled. “But I’ll help you because clearly, you need it.”

Turning to tend to the fire that was much too large for just some pasta, you smiled. You were happy and so was Roger. You were finally successful and you were loved and in love.

This was exactly where you wanted to be. It was where you were meant to be.

——————————————————————————————

A/N: Just like before, any constructive criticism or notes are appreciated! I don’t have a permanent taglist yet but I’m working on it! Thank u guys so much for reading! <3

#roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x y/n #roger taylor fanfiction #roger taylor smut #roger taylor #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x y/n #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy smut #ben hardy #ben hardy!roger x reader #queen imagine #borhap imagine #queen #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #successful

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elesianne · 4 years

Text

A Silmarillion fanfic, chapter twenty-four

Chapter summary: The winter before their wedding, filled with preparations and waiting.

Rating: Teen and up audiences; Chapter length: ~2,800 words

Chapter notes: This is a short chapter but the next, last one is a behemoth.

(Read on AO3)

Chapter XXIV // A winter of waiting

My beloved betrothed Tuilindien

begins the letter that Tuilindien receives from Carnistir only a short time after he went home.

I found our house still standing like Curufinwë and Findaráto assured us at the harvest festival, and in fact they had made more progress on it during my absence than I had expected. Apparently their personal disagreements only spurred them to work harder, in some sort of one-upmanship. The basic structures of most walls are finished, and there is even a roof on most of the garden-side rooms.

I have taken up residence in the most finished room, for myself as well as Cinder – that is what I named the kitten. It seemed the most fitting name for a black cat with orange eyes. Cinder did not much enjoy the journey here, but is settling in well. Her mother seems to have taught her well, for she has already caught two mice. She doesn't appear to be as sociable as Snowdrop, though, but an independent spirit who likes to keep her distance from me while sneaking to sleep close to me at night.

Curufinwë does not approve of my moving into a building site, as he put it. He told me that I seem to have lost the last of my dignity and concern for appearances now that I am certain that you will marry me.

I told him that it is my house and I will live in it if I want.

The truth is that I am tired of the daily journey from the palace. Not because of the distance, mainly, but because there is little privacy there and I had to waste time every day talking to people I didn't want to talk to but had to for grandfather's sake, at meals and upon leaving and coming back at night. Here there are no distractions, just Cinder and I, and Makalaurë's house is near enough that I go there for meals as often as Tinweriel tolerates me.

Spending the summer with you was delightful, but so is throwing myself into work here again, seeing our house grow every day, making it ready for you.

I miss you already, though, and look forward to your winter visit.

With love

your Carnistir

My darling Carnistir,

I am glad to hear that you found the house in a better shape than you expected, and especially that little Cinder is making her contribution by catching vermin.

I do not think that living in a half-finished building must mean loss of dignity, and it would certainly not make me any less likely to marry you if I hadn't already decided that I will do it. I cannot help wondering, though, as winter approaches, whether you and Cinder will be warm enough. Have you any source of heat there?

It is silly of me to worry, I know. You know how to take care of yourself. But I spend a great deal of time thinking of you these days, even more than before. I am writing my treatise but it does not take that much time, and I do not have any particularly ambitious goals for it. I write a little, I help look after Aiwië, I spend time with Cirincë (I have kept up the riding lessons we began in the summer) and I think of you. That is how I spend my days.

I admire your industriousness and I love you for working so hard to make us a home. I only hope that you make enough time for rest as well, though you now live there in the middle of your work.

As for me – as the forests and fields on the mountainside settle into winter, as the days grow cooler and many of the songs of birds fall into silence, I find that my heart has settled into waiting. First for my visit to your city, and then for the move to Tirion. I have already gone through all of my things and decided which ones I will bring with me. I am just waiting to pack them and give most of the rest to Cirincë.

Carnistir, I have never before found waiting this hard. Perhaps because every day, I say goodbyes in my heart to the people and places and things I have always lived among – and every day, I miss you so. I feel bare and alone now that you are so far from me that I cannot feel your spirit in our connection, no matter how hard I try.

When I miss so that it feels like it must surely eventually become unbearable, I take off the ring you gave me and I read the words inside. I feel warm, then, and comforted by the strength of your affection and your promise to me.

And I count the days.

Your Tuilindien

As late autumn is turning to true winter, Tuilindien rides to Tirion. She has only a groom and a maidservant with her this time, for this three-week visit is for her to begin building connections and making plans for her future in Tirion, as well as for wedding planning.

She stays at the palace once again, as a guest of Indis and Finwë. The queen takes her role as hostess seriously. She introduces Tuilindien to all of her ladies, many of whom are Vanyarin, and invites her to so many meals and activities that Tuilindien's days are easily filled. She has no time to feel lonely, though this is her first time in Tirion without any of her family.

For she spends time with Carnistir, too, of course, and is invited to dinners at his family's house as well as Makalaurë and Tinweriel's.

'It is very nice to have Carnistir and you both here', Tinweriel tells Tuilindien the first night that they dine there. 'Carnistir has been a very frequent dinner guest lately, but despite my best efforts in training him, he is still not much of a conversationalist. When I asked him to tell him about his summer on the plains with you, he spent the entire meal explaining winemaking methods to us.'

'He devoted himself to learning them', Tuilindien replies.

Tinweriel smiles at her over the rim of her wine glass. 'A loyal reply', she notes. 'But tell me, what did you two do for fun?'

Tuilindien does her best to answer that. On the whole, dinners with Makalaurë and Tinweriel go well. She is glad for it. Makalaurë and Carnistir are close, and Makalaurë's house is also physically much closer than Carnistir's parents' house. Fëanáro and Nerdanel's home is almost on the opposite side of the city from the property Carnistir bought. Tuilindien has not dared to ask whether that was a contributing factor to Carnistir's decision to buy it.

Besides dinners and entertainments, Tuilindien visits members of the scholarly community too, finding out what projects are going on and whether there is something she could contribute to.

In the end she decides on teaching, though. For there is a need for a teacher of language to the children of the court – the offspring of royal advisors, courtiers and ladies-in-waiting, court musicians and poets, seneschals and officials. Tuilindien will teach some of the more advanced students varieties of Quenya that they do not yet know, and the basics of Valarin, and the script of Rúmil.

Fëanáro raises his brows when she tells the family of her plans. 'If you believe that taking on the role of schoolmistress is a wise beginning to your life here –'

'I do', Tuilindien interrupts, for she is learning that it is best to assert herself with him.

'Then we wish you all the best in it, dear', Nerdanel completes her husband's sentence. 'May your students be more obedient and interested than our little terrors.' She smooths down Telvo's hair affectionately while he protests the description.

Three weeks pass fast. When they come to their end and Tuilindien prepares for farewells again, Tuilindien pleads with Carnistir once more to let her come see the house.

'No.' Carnistir dodges her kiss. 'You can kiss me as many times as you like, vanimelda – I shall like it very much if you do – but it will not make me show you the house yet. Not while it is half-built. It is coming along well but at the moment it looks hardly better than the old house at the time of our betrothal. I want your first impression of it to be good.' He grows serious. 'You do still trust me with the house, don't you? You've told me that you have faith in me making it a good home for us both.'

'Of course I still trust you. I am only curious, so very curious', Tuilindien admits sheepishly. 'Impatient, too. But I will bear it. Let us go through the plans I have drawn for the garden instead. What do you think of this layout?'

Carnistir bends down to look at her notes. They are inexpertly drawn but that does not seem to bother him, to her relief. He points out some things that would not work, and Tuilindien listens intently and makes corrections, and touches his knee every now and then.

Tuilindien is relieved when, upon returning home for the rest of the winter, she finds that while she still counts days and looks forward to her wedding, the impatience does not make her unable to enjoy the time she has left with her family and friends.

She spends much time with Cirincë, for her younger sister is sad. Tuilindien's temporary absence appears to have made her rapidly approaching more permanent departure much more real to Cirincë.

Tuilindien tries to console her with promises of visits, to little effect. In the end they just spend as much time together as possible.

Lirulinë spends more home in the family home than she has for years, too, though that might be because of the many eager arms that there are there to cuddle baby Aiwië. Little Cantiel, only a few years older than her niece, is fascinated with the baby too, and babbles to her for hours about everything and anything.

Cantiel receives her mother-name at midwinter, the whole family with aunts and uncles and grandparents gathered to hear it.

Sailiel gathers her youngest daughter close to her and raises her voice for the announcement.

'It is a little early, but she is not the baby of the family anymore', she begins. 'And now that she speaks and plays with language, I would like her to have a name with more personal meaning.' Tuilindien's mother glares at her husband who gave their fourth daughter a father-name meaning 'fourth daughter'.

'I knew I could trust you to gift her a better name', Ingolmo says innocently.

'Darling daughter.' Sailiel lifts Cantiel in her arms and brushes her hair tenderly out of her eyes so she can gaze at her. 'I wish to give you the name Wilwarindëa.'

Cantiel tilts her head. 'Like a butterfly.'

'Like a butterfly', her mother confirms. 'For you run around the house and garden, just for fun, from one family member to another like a butterfly flutters from flower to flower.'

Wilwarindëa grins and looks over her mother's shoulder to her sisters. 'I didn't get a bird name', she declares to them jubilantly. 'I got a butterfly name. The only butterfly name.'

'Congratulations, Wilwarindëa', Tuilindien tells her, suppressing her own grin.

Preparations for the wedding have gone well, especially when one takes into account that the bride has participated in them by letter for many weeks. Finwë and Nerdanel have borne principal responsibility in making the arrangements, with Carnistir relaying Tuilindien's latest wishes and vetoing some details on his own behalf.

'We will not have an entire orchestra playing at the wedding, Cáno. It is a celebration for family. If you keep suggesting it, I won't let you and Tinweriel play at all', Carnistir had to threaten during one meeting.

'It's an orchestra Tinwië and I belong to, so there's no reason it couldn't perform at a family celebration', Makalaurë argued. 'There was an orchestra at our wedding.'

'It was your wedding', Carnistir pointed out between clenched teeth. 'This is mine and Tuilë's. We're less…' he wants to say pompous or dramatic, but that would be too rude '… grandiose people.'

Finwë played peacemaker. 'People do have different tastes and desires, Makalaurë. I'm certain that Carnistir will be very grateful if you and Tinweriel hold an intimate performance at the wedding. You do not need an orchestra to make beautiful music. Is that not right, Carnistir?'

'That's right', Carnistir muttered, and with that the matter was finally settled two weeks before the wedding.

Arguing with Makalaurë had felt strange. Moving back to his childhood home for the last two weeks before the wedding feels stranger. He only does so because his mother and brothers beseeched him to.

He finds his room much like he had left it, only a little tidier. Carnistir runs his fingers over the books and papers and other things he'd left behind as unnecessary. After over three years away, it almost feels like they belong to another person.

It is no matter that the room he lived in since he was a child doesn't feel like his anymore. He has a new room elsewhere, one that is only missing the finishing touches now, and he didn't come to his family home to spend time in his room anyway. He came to spend time with his family.

And he does just that, as much as he can spare time from working to make sure the new house will be habitable if not finished by the time of the wedding.

He plays with his youngest brothers and takes them riding and listens while they tell him everything they've ever thought of – that is how it seems anyway.

He tells them that he won't see them any less when he has married Tuilindien. More, very possibly, since he won't be as busy with the house project anymore.

He feels certain, without asking Tuilindien, that his little brothers will be welcome in their house even if they visit often and leave a mess behind. It is rather wonderful, being certain of things like that.

'My new house is on the other side of the city but that is not a problem', Carnistir tells Ambarussar. 'You've become good riders in the last few years. You are not to just hop on your ponies and ride there, but if you ask mother or father for permission and for a groom to accompany you, it should be no problem for you to visit frequently.'

The twins beam at him and Pityo lets out a small cheer.

'You must always be courteous to Tuilindien and do as she asks', Carnistir hastens to add.

Both Ambarussar looks offended that Carnistir thinks that they might not be the most courteous children in all of Aman. 'Of course we will', they say in unison, which adds to rather than relieves Carnistir's fear that they definitely won't behave.

He ruffles their hair, anyway, and tells them to go beg the cook for something sweet they can all share.

A week before the wedding day, Tuilindien with her whole family arrives in Tirion.

Carnistir embraces Tuilindien tightly as soon as he sees her, and tells her, 'You are a day late.'

Tuilindien's eyes are bright with tears of joy. 'The roads were terrible', she says with a half laugh, half sob, trailing her hands through his hair. 'The mountain-paths especially were muddy with melted snow. It is not the best time of the year for travelling.'

'But it is an excellent time for a wedding, for I could not wait a day longer than the six we still have left.' Carnistir holds her close, nuzzling her neck. 'I have no words for how glad I am that you are here to stay this time.'

Tuilindien sighs. 'As am I, my love, to truly stay with you finally, with no goodbyes in sight.' She strokes a gentle hand down his back. 'Right now, though, we must join our families for dinner.'

'They can wait a moment.'

'They have already waited. Come now, Carnistir.'

At dinner and during the socialisation afterwards when his family member and relatives whisk Tuilindien away from him, he observes her, especially in relation to the few women already in his family. Tuilindien is shorter and more slender than his mother, and dressed in lighter colours, blending in more with the marble of the palace; she is more quiet and more still than Tinweriel with her witticisms and wide gestures.

Yet he knows where she is in the room at all times, no matter how many more colourful or louder people she is surrounded by. Even without looking he knows where she is at any moment, and feels better than ever for knowing that she is there, never far from him.

A/N: In the next chapter, the long-awaited wedding day with its night.

I can't believe there's only one chapter left! And then some sequel fics, if I manage to write them.

Also: total wordcount for this fic is now

!!!

#starting to feel seriously sad about this ending :|#what will I do with myself once it's all posted haha #tolkien fanfiction #silmarillion fanfiction #caranthir #caranthir's wife #tuilindien #your spirit calling out to mine #my fics #elesianne's fics

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Objects in the Rear View Mirror (Craquameron) - Epilogue - Saiphl

When the stars are out of sight and the moon is down - Epilogue

Brianna’s PoV

And since I’ve done all the old ones ‘till they’ve all been done in

Now I’m just looking, then I’m gone with the wind

Endlessly searching for an original sin

A bit more than three hours, we’re landing, a bright sunny day in our dear New York, that’s buzzing with life and a way too crowded JFK Airport. Aquaria lazily yawns in the way to the conveyors, “come on sleepy head, we’re close to home, then you’ll sleep as much as you want”, I say to her, and she just looks at me as if I was speaking chinese. “Come on hun, just a little bit more.” She leans her head over my shoulder for a moment and Kameron wraps our waists with her arms.

“Band three and we’ll be out ladies. We’re back home!” Kammy says, and the three of us laugh. We take our luggage and head out the airport, as always it’s messy and crowded, our Uber takes more than ten minutes to arrive because of the traffic, and we stand under the sun, Aquaria trying to hide from the burning light, Kameron and I teasing her about it.

The way to our places takes its sweet time, and we keep talking, this time checking on our schedules to plan a night out. Right now we want to see how this turns out, maybe taking it a little bit slower than we did back in Cheyenne, coming to the realization that we have a lot of time ahead is refreshing, and the three of us know we’ll need to work as a team if we want to make our relationship work.

Kameron is the first to get home, she kisses each of us soft and brief, asking then for us to send a message when we get home. We see her walking to her building, she turns once more, smiling to us and waving her goodbyes, the car gets in motion before we see her get in. Aquaria holds my hand sighing, she looks like she’s going to say something, but it doesn’t come out at last. Leaning her head on my shoulder she says “We’re lucky… I mean, we have each other now.” I nod in agreement, and turn my face lightly to kiss her forehead.

After leaving Aquaria in her place, the driver looks at me through the rear view mirror, judgmentally arching a brow, I smile at him with my best ‘fuck your nose off of us’ glare. Then look at my phone screen, starting to reply all the unseen messages I have there. Soon, I’m dropped by my building door and the driver leaves as fast as he can. I bet he will be talking about us when he gets home after his workday.

I’ve been looking for the ultimate crime

Infinite victims, infinitesimal time

And I’m so very guilty for no reason or rhyme

I keep writing messages to my dear friend Vanessa, she’s been worried about all the process of my visit to Cheyenne, and for sure, she’s pissed that i’ve spent the last four days in radio silence. When the elevator dings reaching my floor, I slid the phone in my pocket and walk carrying my luggage to my door.

There’s a pile of unopened mail on my counter when I close the door of my apartment, I sigh to the idea of looking at it. It can wait. I walk to my room and fall straight on my bed, face buried on the pillows while I blatantly ignore the buzzing of my phone. I’m wondering when will be the time to bring my girls to my home, and suddenly feel anxious about how we will make this work for the three of us. My head spinning violently on the idea when the phone buzzes regularly, I’ll have to take the call. “Hey Vanjie! how are you?”

“Bitch, you have no fucking reason to ignore my messages”, Vanessa yells to the phone. “I demand an explanation, and better for you to start now, or I’ll go to bugger you face to face.”

“Alright, alright… there’s no need to yell, I can hear you perfectly”, I say, putting the phone away from my ear. “I just got home bitch, gimme a break” I ask, starting to laugh.

“Well, you have a lot to tell, the last you said was you were going to Aquaria’s sister wedding and then nothing, radio silence. You can’t say you’re going to see Aquaria after your disappearance and then keep the things to yourself.” Now her tone is more curious than pissed. “What happened at the wedding?”

I sigh, remembering the moment I saw Kameron at the church. “Aquaria was there with no other than Kameron” I answer, sounding a little more bitter than I expected. “Then they kissed old hollywood movie style on the dancefloor and I’ve lost it girl, like… lost it big time.”

We spend the following hour and a half going on every single detail of that night, and I can’t help laughing when I hear Vanessa gasping when I told her about what they’ve proposed to me. For the first time in the almost three years I’ve known Vanessa Mateo, she’s speechless, even more when I tell her that I accepted to be in a throuple with them.

She cackled when I got to the part of the parental meeting, and she was recreating my mom’s angry voice with eerie precision. When she finally managed to control her laugh, and with what meant to be a most serious tone, she asked “so, you are telling me you are now in a relationship with the both of them?”

I nod to the phone, and then say “I think so, like, I’m still sinking on the idea…” I sigh, and look through my window, the purples and reds of the sunset taking over the big apple. “I’m not sure how we will make it work, but what I can say, is I’m so happy that I’m afraid to sleep and not waking up.”

“Never say that again bitch, I need my best friend now, and I’ll need my best friend for at least the following century.” Vanessa sounds death serious, and I know she’s worried, but she will be by my side wherever all this crazy adventure takes me. “I’m happy to know you’re happy girl, but aside of this adrenaline rush, how do you feel?”

I take a little time to answer that, but I know it’s the truth. “I’m in love Vanjie, so much in love and I can’t wait for you to meet them. I’m sure you’ll love them too.”

The call comes to an end with us agreeing to have a coffee the following day, she doesn’t seem convinced, but I’m sure she’ll get me her perspective the moment we find a table and have a chance to talk. I take a shower and then empty the luggage getting ready for the following day. I’m about to call to order dinner when my phone buzzes again. Kameron is sending a picture of her at an animal shelter, and introducing Aquaria and I to Cheyenne, the kitten she just adopted. The little furball yawning on her left arm.

Aquaria sends a voice message saying “Cheyenne? really? why did you do such a horrible thing to the baby?”

I laugh and record a message, “I have to agree with Aquaria, why did you gave him that horrendous name?”

“Because he’s the second step for a new start, and he will always remind me of you when you’re not around, my loves” Kameron answers, and I feel my heart melting.

Aquaria and I send a long appreciative message to her words, followed by a detailed list of what the kitten will need and a bunch of recommendations from Aquaria and her vast experience on cat breeding. Then we all say good night.

Thinking about the last four days, and how my… our lives have changed, gives me hope on the future, on a future where we are together, and happy. A future where the past injuries are no longer important; a future where love is what matters and I’m sure, for the first time, that I’ve made the right decision.

It’s not enough to make the nightmares go away

It’s not enough to make the tears run dry

It’s not enough to live a little better every day

It’s been a year and a half since we boarded that airplane to New York from Wyoming, and I can tell things were moving faster. The first months were complicated, as far as we were located in three very different points of the city, and our schedules were madness. Aquaria resented the little time both Kameron and I had by the time she was taking a breathe from the released collection of the following spring. Kameron resented the lack of time her work gave her and I… well, Vanjie and I just decided to start our own business, so the bakery was taking most of my time.

On Thanksgiving my parents, Sharon and Alaska visited us, and I bet Sharon was about to rip our guts off when she saw how sad Aquaria was. Thankfully Mom helped a lot on the process of her understanding that our lives were getting more complicated, not just because of us adjusting to our relationship, but because we were growing on our own fields.

By Christmas we decided it was the time to think of moving in together. Kameron was done with the neverending rambling whenever the schedules didn’t match, and Aquaria was done with attempting to balance the free time, the commuting and the fact that the indie atelier she was working for was bought by a bigger brand. To be honest, I was done too with all the drama and the nights I’ve spent rolling on an empty bed, craving the warmth of their bodies with me. Most of all, we were done with being apart, things were starting to work for the three of us, we didn’t want to let our jobs to become a stopper, more than a way of living.

The first week of the spring, we moved together to a little place in Brooklyn, comfortable enough for three adults and close enough to our jobs. The apartment was big enough for the three of us, each one having a proper space to do our own business, and a good common space for the life we were starting to share. Kameron made sure the spaces were good and comfortable, while Aquaria busied herself on making it a perfect balance between the three of us. Cheyenne was the happiest cat with the moving, as far as he found thrilling to explore every single box we managed to empty.

For our first anniversary, we spent the night in a romantic dinner that Kameron prepared for the occasion. Aquaria designed and supervised the creation of three rings, they looked like a wedding band but were decorated with the birthstones of each of us and engraved with our names. She wanted to make our commitment official, as far as we won’t be able to get married, we can, at least pretend to be. My anniversary gift, was a scrap photo album made by myself, with pictures of us. Sharon, Alaska, Mom, Dad, Nebraska, my siblings, Chad, Morgan and even Katlyn shared those memories to document our story, it also had empty pages at the end for us to fill over the years to come.

As every other couple, we’ve had good and bad times, also moments when we questioned if this is what we really wanted. By now, we’re doing well, creating a world for us, going step by step, going day by day. I still feel lucky to have them both in my life, and as long as it lasts, I can tell that I’m having the happy life I’ve always dreamt about. We are having the happy lives we always wanted to have.

I’ve been looking for an original sin

One with a twist and a bit of a spin

And since I’ve done all the old ones ‘till they’ve all been done in

Now I’m just looking, then I’m gone with the wind

Endlessly searching for an original sin.

#rear view mirror #saiphl #throuple #kameron michaels #miz cracker #aquaria #rpdr fanfiction #submission #craquameron #lesbian au #poly #s10

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asthora · 6 years

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The Last Dance, Pt. 3

The board is set and it’s time for the games to begin. Benny is back in Vegas but what exactly does that mean? Benny puts his boys in their place. Indy tugs the leash. The Mojave calls their names. Part three of my Benny x Courier saga. Parts one & two.

Two Weeks Later

Benny is a fucking king.

He sits at a poker table with a broad on either side. One’s a redhead, the other a blond. No brunettes but he ain’t one to complain about a pretty bird.

“Blow on the dice baby,” he says. “It’s for good luck.”

The blonde winks at him, pulls back her silky hair, and blows on the dice. He throws, not giving a shit whether his luck is good or bad. It’s his goddamn casino so whatever money he loses goes right back into his well lined pockets.

“Oh look at that,” he says, not even bothering to glance at the dice. “A perfect roll.”

He forgets about the game. He’s bored. He wants to mingle. Swank is in charge of the floor tonight so he’s got time to do a little snooping, make some connections, listen to the latest gossip on the strip. Word on the street is, the courier hasn’t been seen in two weeks. He certainly hasn’t seen her since their little soiree at the fort. Much as he misses her cute little face, he doesn’t mind. Given him the space he’s needed to figure out his next moves.

“Baby, why don’t you go get us all a drink?” He whispers to the redhead. “And you pussycat, go see about getting the music in here turned up. It’s so goddamn loud I can barely hear Frank’s crooning.”

His girls giggle and scatter. Good, he’s bored. Time to disappear. Benny dusts off his coat and heads over to where Swank and some of his boys are lounging at the edge of the casino floor. They straighten when they see him.

“Ben-man!” Swank says, clapping him on the back. “You know, having you back is still the highlight of my day.”

Benny raises his eyebrows. He’s so full of shit. Swank was eyeing his position the day he stepped foot out of The Tops. When Benny walked back through those doors Swank’s face fell so far he was afraid he might not get it back. He’s glad his second is enough of a coward not to challenge him. Sticking Swank would be a lot harder than sticking Bingo, not because Swank can best him, hell no, but because Swank ain’t bad. But he would kill him if he had to...right? Definitely, he thinks. Of course I would. For Vegas.

“How’s the ole’ girl running?” Benny asks, taking out a cigarette and placing it between his lips.

“Humming along like a dream,” he smiles. “Ever since that broad took the helm our profits have been aces. Never done better business, boss.”

Benny grunts and lights his cig. Indy had his old lighter delivered to his room with a lovely little note that reminded him he was nothing more than a mutt begging at her feet. Bitch literally drew a fucking dog after she signed her name.

“You leaving anytime soon, boss?” Katz asks. Benny slowly turns to the dumb, mousy lookin’ bouncer. He can barely fill out his suit. Benny is surprised he’s lasted this long. Katz was one of the Boot Riders, just a kid when they sauntered through those flashing Vegas gates.

“You know Katz, it’s rude to ask a man’s business. Anyone ever told you that?”

Katz goes red in the face. “I-I’m sorry boss. Just, just wanted to know.”

“Yeah, well keep your wonderings to yourself. Alright?”

Katz nods and Benny sucks on his cig. He surveys the casino floor. Swank hastily tells Kaz to go check on security by the door and the little runt runs off like he’s had a fire lit under his ass.

“He’s asked a good question you know,” Swank says after a few moments. “You’re sticking around this time, right?”

Benny closes his eyes slowly then opens them. “I’ll do as I please, Swank. But for now, I’m not leaving.”

“We just gotta know,” he says quietly. “You just left us, boss. If it weren’t for In- Benny spins and leans in close to his second. He fucking dares Swank to say her name. He’ll skin him alive right now if he even mentions the courier.

“Just because I’m not here to mop up everyone’s spilled milk doesn’t mean this place goes to shit, you hear me? We don’t need that bitch to settle our own affairs. Understand?”

Swank is stony. “Yeah, boss. Platinum.”

He stares at Swank for a good solid ten seconds before he turns around and walks away. Benny smokes his cig until he reaches the filter then throws it in an overflowing ashtray by the slot machines. Why does the courier have to pepper every single conversation, huh? Why is she the savior? This is his casino, his game. His boys. Fuck her, she doesn’t get to have a say in his kingdom.

“Calm down, Benny.” He mutters to himself, slicking back his hair and tugging at the lapels of his checkered coat. He’s getting worked up over nothing. He’s back. She can’t put her dirty fingers on The Tops ever again, not until the day his heart stops beating and the his lungs stop breathing air. And he’ll have Vegas again. One day. Maybe not tomorrow but she can’t keep hold of his baby forever.

Benny heads up to the stairs to the theater where the Rad Pack is singing an 18 karat cover of Dean Martin’s Sway. He heads to the bar hoping that a little drink will help calm his nerves. He’s been too jumpy lately, not himself.

“Whiskey neat,” he says to the bartender. He leans against the tabletop and watches the stage for a moment before he starts on another cigarette. The bartender, Charlie, slides him his drink and he takes a sip.

“You know, I almost missed you.”

Benny jumps. Goddamn. There she is, creeping up on him again. The courier stands before him, covered in Mojave from head to toe. Looks like she just stepped into town and decided to stop by and share a few neighborly hellos.

“You ever shower, baby?” He asks.

“What’s the point in showering when I’ve got to clean up everyone’s shit?” She asks, leaning against the bartop.

“Be careful then. Don’t want you ruining the upholstery.”

Indy rolls her clear eyes and turns to Charlie. “Gin and tonic.”

“Surprise, surprise. Thought you might be a white wine kinda girl.” He says.

She doesn’t even bother to look at him. Indy grabs her drink and kicks it back like it’s water.

“What have you been up to since I’ve been gone?” She asks. Straight to business, as always.

“Cleaning up the mess I left behind. Checking the books, stomping out cats who’ve been singing. You ain’t one of mine if you’ve been humming a tune about me. I don’t like rumors.”

That’s a lie. He loves rumors. Rumors are the sea upon which Vegas floats. See, rumors ain’t too bad. Somewhere in them, there’s some truth. It was once a rumor that House had a secret army. Then it was a fact that he could put some oomph in his securitrons and rule the desert with the flick of a button. So yeah, he loves a good rumor. He just doesn’t care for rumors about him.

“Good call,” Indy says. “And were any of the...cats you let go Boot Riders.”

He gives her a look. “Now why do you care?”

“Assessing how far your loyalties lie.” She says plainly.

He watches her. Indy stares back. Her brown hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail and her tanned skin is peppered with light freckles. She could be pretty. It’s just the Mojave on her reeks.

“I believe you’re asking questions that lie in my jurisdiction. I’ll run my casino the way I please.”

She smirks. “Yeah, well, at the end of the day hot shot, I get to ask whatever questions I want. Oh, and I get answers too. One way or another.”

Benny takes a drink and tears his eyes from Indy and back to the stage. The Rad Pack is finishing up and a dame in a sparkly red dress is taking the stage.

“So did you just stop by to ask questions or are you here for something else, pally? Or did you just wanna swing?” He asks.

Indy clears her throat. “I don’t know what that means. Whatever, I’m here to get your help. Pack your bags, pally. We’re going out to do a little reconnaissance in a few days.”

“What?”

“Do you not know what that means? Do I need to grab a dictionary for you?”

If only he could smack this broad ten ways till Sunday he fucking would! She’s got a chip on her shoulder the size of California. Benny blows smoke through his nose and grinds his teeth.

“I ain’t a Harv, pussycat. I know about reconnaissance. I just wanna know why you’re dragging me along.”

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

Benny turns back to Indy. She doesn’t look smug for once, she looks serious. Dead serious. Like she knows something bad. He straightens and puts out his cigarette.

“What am I supposed to tell my boys?” He asks lowly.

“Tell them that the courier has a business opportunity that can benefit The Tops. Tell them nothing more, nothing less.”

“Swank will ask questions.”

“I thought you didn’t need my help running your casino?”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Benny grumbles. “I’ll handle it.”

Indy smiles. “I’ll send word when I know more. Dust off your Mojave gear, Ben-man. “

He feels his fucking blood go cold. It was one thing to tramp through that rad infested shithole when he was tracking the courier, it’s another to go out into with no other reason than he’s got to stay close to his handler’s heels. Benny watches her walk out the door of the Aces with his heart hammering. The Mojave doesn’t scare him, just reminds him of a time he thought he left behind.

The Mojave never fully lets you go.

The Singer told him that once. Benny winces. Another bad memory. One he’d rather pretend didn’t happen. He does that a lot, he pretends. Another reason he fucked up getting Vegas. He pretended the courier wasn’t a loose end, pretended that fucking her would solve all his problems, pretended that The Tops and Vegas were putty in his hands and he could have both and his cake.

“Stop crying in the rain, pally.” He mutters, taking one last swig and exiting the theater.

Benny stands, leaning against the railing, surveying his fragile kingdom. Swank is back at the desk and several Chairman make the rounds, watching for thieves and tricksters. But all is quiet on the homefront. Except for Benny. He feels like a swing band is going off in his head. Then there’s that feeling in his gut like things can never be fine again. Like he’s heading straight for nowhere a million miles a minute.

She sends the croaker to fetch him.

It’s 10AM on a Saturday when Arcade, that fucking doctor goon, walks through the door. He’s dressed like he’s ready to go scavenging through an abandoned junkyard. Benny’s heart drops to his well shined shoes. He knows what this means.

“You ready?” Arcade asks. Not even a hello.

“Where we meetin’ doc?”

“Lucky 38 lobby. You have ten minutes.”

He turns around and walks back out the door without a goodbye. Swank is behind the check-in desk and he looks utterly confused and a bit suspicious.

“What’s going, boss?” He asks.

Benny puts on his best reassuring smile. “Got a job in the Mojave. A business opportunity for The Tops. I’ll be back in a few days, don’t worry about it.”

Swank just nods, brows still furrowed and a frown on his face. Benny knows he’s trying to figure out whether to believe him or not. He doesn’t wait around for more questions. Benny heads up to his suite and changes into something more suited for the desert rather than his best suit. It’s been a hot minute since he’s wandered the Wastes. Last few times wasn’t really wandering, just passing through. He’s heard all the stories about the Courier. By the tall tales floating around, she should know every inch of that hellhole by now.

Benny sticks Maria into a holster and slings his bag over his shoulder. He takes one good last look at his suite before he heads out, using one of the stairwell exits as to not draw attention to himself. He really isn’t into some brainless Omerta reporting back to his boss that he saw the Benny stomping around dressed like a wastelander.

He crosses the street and hops up the stairs. When he reaches for the doors he almost doesn’t expect them to open. Not even House let him into his fortress. Anytime the asshole wanted to communicate he did it through a Securitron. Guess he thought real conversation would change his luck with the next protegee. Too bad it blew up in his face.

Benny opens the door and a lovely gust of AC cooled air blasts him in the face. The door shuts behind him and he’s alone, standing in a dark red and black lobby. It’s a lot grander than The Tops, a bit more preserved too. The carpet isn’t as bad off and the wallpaper is somehow not peeling off the ancient walls. Benny whistles lowly. It’s impressive, but its lonely. It would be one hell of a casino floor if there were singing slot machines, drunk broads laughing, and a nice crooner in the corner humming some sweet little tune. But the Courier has her wrapped up tight, and for right now the 38 is about as friendly as cactus flower.

By a bar off to the left he sees the doc and three other people. One of them is some redhead he doesn’t recognize and the other is that fucking NCR beret. Sitting on top of the bar, swinging her legs back and forth like a child, is the queen herself.

“Did I make it on time, your highness?” He calls. He approaches them with swagger but he’d rather be running in the opposite direction right now. There is no bone in his body that wants to walk outside these walls.

Indy pretends to look at a watch and bites her lip. “You’re twenty-two seconds late but I suppose I’ll let it slide.”

The redhead scowls at him and leans against Indy’s thigh. “Jesus fucking Christ I never thought this prick would ever set foot in my presence again. Yet here he fucking is.”

“Don’t be melodramatic, Cass.” Indy rolls her eyes. “You know why he’s still kicking.”

“Yeah I know,” she says. “Doesn’t make me wanna put some lead between his eyes any less.”

Benny grinds his teeth. “I’m getting real tired of everyone wanting me dead.”

“Then stop being such an ass.” Indy says, hopping off the bar. She’s clean for once though her t-shirt and jeans have seen better days. She’s already got a pistol strapped around her thigh and a hunting knife hanging from a holster on her belt.

“Before we go,” Benny says. “Tell me where we’re going. Give me some peace of mind, baby. I don’t like not knowing.”

She smiles sweetly, sickeningly. It makes his stomach turn flips.

“You don’t need to know where we’re going or what we’re doing just yet. It’s a precaution, you see. I wanna make sure your eyes and ears in the city can’t see or hear a thing.”

He throws his hands up in the air. “Baby, the only eyes and ears here are my own and they ain’t about to go off and tell tall tales.”

Indy shrugs she takes the rifle offered by the NCR prick. “I don’t care. These are the rules and if you want to fight them be my guest, but there are consequences.”

Benny falls silent. He’s not gonna get a damn thing out of this broad. One thing's for certain, she’s stubborn. When it comes to being in the dark, Benny has never felt so blind, but he respects her secrecy. She’s smart, he admires that too, he just wishes for his own sake she was a little more loose lipped.

“Before we go let me introduce you to my people,” Indy says, shouldering the rifle. “This is Boone. He is - or was - NCR.” She points to the man with the beret and sunglasses.

Benny smiles and claps the man on the back. “Oh I know this cat,” he says. “We spent some time together. It was aces, wasn’t it partner?”

Boone looks at Benny and shrugs off his hand. “Don’t touch me.”

Indy ignores the exchange. “You know Arcade. Everyone who’s ever visited the Mormon Fort knows Arcade. And this is Cass.” She nods to the redhead who is absolutely fuming. She looks at him like she’s five seconds away from shivving him with a dull kitchen knife.

“Pleasure,” he says.

“You’re fucking desert trash.” Cass spits.

“Alright,” Indy puts a hand between him and the redhead. “Let’s not bloody my casino. Just had the carpets cleaned.”

Cass takes a step back and pulls something out of her back pocket. It’s a bottle of whiskey. So the bitch is a drunk. He looks at them all. They’re all rejects, wasteland wanderers and castaways, people that not even the Mojave wanted. Where the fuck did she find these freaks? NCR kicked Boone to the curb and the Followers tolerate Arcade and this Cass seems like the drunk cousin you “forget” to invite over for Christmas.

Indy pushes past him and Cass. “We gotta go. We gotta meet our contact before sundown and we’ve got desert to cover.”

Boone slings a polished sniper rifle over his shoulder and Arcade adjusts the plasma rifle strapped to his back. Cass hangs back, nursing her whiskey and watching him with cold eyes as the four head towards the door.

“Hold down the fort Cass,” Indy calls over her shoulder. “Take good care of Rex for me!”

“Yeah yeah,” she calls. “I’ll take care of the mutt. Don’t let the asshole with bad fashion sense stick you in your sleep!”

Indy waves and Boone opens the door. This is it, his first act with the courier. He shields his eyes against the sun and they set off, through the gate that separates the strip from Freeside. They stroll past junkies and hungry kids and Kings who grin and shout “Hey there, sister!” when the see Indy walk by. Then it’s the end of the line. All that divides him from civilization and the desert is a bent steel gate and it’s sliding open a bit too quickly for him.

Indy waves them forward and he follows her out of heaven and into hell.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #benny gecko #benny x courier #courier x benny #the courier #new vegas #my ocs #fallout benny

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onkey-bedtime-stories · 7 years

Text

EUNOIA - Pilot

Waking up to nothing when you’re super far for home And I watched you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own Got me begging for affection All you do is roll your eyes Broken down, I’ve had enough If this is love, I don’t want it – Super Far, LANY

***

‘Enjoy your trip! Stay out of trouble :)’

She wipes the screen with her thumb. Endlessly. She read it again and again, each letters, hoping it would be changed miraculously. For hundreds time. Or maybe more. If there’s one thing that she’s grateful about, it is the fact that so far, Jungsoo and her are not awkward to each other. On the text basis at least. She hasn’t figured it out how it would feel when they met. After that night, they haven’t had chance to see each other again.

Two and half years. Almost thousand nights shared together, thousand sunsets and sunrises. A beautiful journey to pursue, until both are too tired to compromised, Jungsoo more likely. At the end of the day, he had different dream. Different expectation.

The last two months are very dreadful for Eunsook. She kept blaming herself until her best friend convinced her to rest her case. Free her soul for her own good because she deserved better.

So when Junghee offered to come over visit her and Minho to their new house, she didn’t think twice booking the ticket for a summer escapades. And now, here she is, anxiously waiting for her flight at the boarding room. Checking her phone continuously without even aware that she’s torturing herself for some ruined story.

Drown in her thought, she jolts a bit when the phone vibrates in her hand.

“Where are you now?”

She massaged her forehead hearing how her best friend shouted, “I just texted you ten minutes ago. Of course I’m still waiting for my fuckin’ plane!”

“I wonder if you left your mouth at home purposely when you’re studying at school. Your language sounds uneducated. Besides, it’s not annoying when your best friend checking on you to make sure you’re not suicidal.”

“Best friend won’t make up a scene where I’m doing such a reckless action.”

“Who knows you became an extremist!”

“As if! I won’t kill myself over a guy!”

“This one is not just a guy. This one is an ex-fiancée-to-be.”

Eunsook sighed again, and Junghee frowned on the other line.

“Are you okay, honey?”

“We are not even thinking about engagement, Junghee-ah.”

“And that’s why I always said that he’s stupid.”

“He’s not.”

“Then what?!” Junghee’s almost shrieking on her couch.

“He just realized I was holding him back.”

“Holding him back for what?! For a better life?! How can you still defend him? At this point I cannot tell who the brainless one is.”

“You are the brainless one! You got married too fast!”

Eunsook tried to divert her to the topic she loves the best.

“Don’t blame me! Minho is just too good!”

“And you’re too weak.”

“Who can’t resist a very beautiful rose diamond ring?”

The lady sitting next to her gives her the eye when Eunsook cracks loudly.

“My materialistic woman. This is why I love you, Kim Junghee!”

“Come here quickly! I miss you so much you have no idea!”

“I miss you too, baby! I’ll see you in couple hours!”

“Stay out of trouble! See you soon!”

Eunsook pressed the red circle on her phone. Same words, different feeling, she thought. She sighed for the umpteenth time that day when the announcement is telling her to get on the plane.

***

“Lee Eunsook!!”

Junghee already shouting when there’s still around 100 meter distance between them. Minho can only chuckle and try so hard covering his face while his wife embarrassing themselves. She beams right away when she saw Junghee jumps around flailing her arms, looks like a very excited five years old.

“Oh my good grace! Finally!”

Minho automatically takes Eunsook’s luggage from her hand when he saw Junghee hugged her excessively.

“You’re killing me, woman!”

But Junghee doesn’t care because she understand what Eunsook had been through.

“Let’s go! I’ve cooked your favorite dish!”

She doesn’t allow Eunsook to have time to think again for she’s afraid her best friend would feel lonelier after she released her from the embrace.

“Fried chicken?”

Her lips pouting immediately, “Your second favorite, then.”

“Seafood?”

“What the hell, Lee Eunsook! Italy changed you!”

“I always love fried chicken and seafood!”

“Whatever! You need to eat! A lot! I don’t like be friend with a walking skeleton!”

“Can you see my thighs are bigger than yours?”

Junghee just ran faster to the exit direction, preventing them to recognize the full brim on her eyes.

“What have she cooked, actually?” Eunsook can’t help but ask Minho while they walked side by side.

“The whole restaurant.”

“What?!”

Minho laughed when he saw Eunsook’s eyes doubled their size, “You know it’s her way to comfort people around her.”

“I know.”

“And she wanted only the best for her best friend. If you know what I mean.”

“And I know exactly what you mean.”

“You okay now?”

Minho’s voice sounds concerned and he didn’t even try to hide it, “Taemin called me. He said you’ve been weeping like a trooper’s widow. I’m quoting, here. Not my own words.”

“That ungrateful traitor. It was two months ago. I’m doing great ever since.”

He turned his face to seek for the truth on her eyes but Eunsook is too smart to hang the poker face perfectly.

“Come on, or your wife will kill both of us.”

Minho shrugged, remembers very well how Junghee stomped around the house cursing for hours when she knew the reason why Jungsoo told her how he felt, a week after Eunsook’s birthday.

***

“So you will back to Italy?”

“I think so. My boss doesn’t have the guts to keep me on the office with only my study visa. He already did his best to let me extend my internship for one more semester, though. Now I have no more reason to postpone my graduation. So, yeah, I will be back to Italy next month and graduate in October.”

“If only it’s easy to get a job in Netherlands, I would ask you to move here.”

Eunsook chuckles and takes another sip of the beer, “No need to worry, baby. I’ve applied for some job in London. Their response’s so far so good.”

“I really hope you got this one!”

She raised her eyebrow when she caught Junghee is half squealing, “Why? So I’d forget everything about him?”

Caught red handed, Junghee gulped down her wine quickly.

“Well, 80% yes.”

“And the rest?”

“So I get to visit you in London! That would be amazing! Junghee and Eunsook take London down the sequel!”

Eunsook doesn’t need to be told to crack on huge laughter. Back then, after their high school graduation, they decided to take a gap year and went to London to learn better English. Eunsook, while taking a part time as staff in museum on weekend, started the class right away since her father already arranged everything on the institute for her. Junghee on the other hand, ditch the English class for studying painting and working in a restaurant at night instead. But that’s how she met Minho who happened to be a part time student taking night shifts there.

“Why you always get the best part when it comes to London?”

“Life is a choice, honey. You can be a traveler but you’re too cool so you choose to be a designer.”

“It’s not fair.”

“Everything is fair in love and war.”

“And what’s from that has thing to do here?”

“I don’t know.. I think I’m already drunk.”

The two best friends start to laugh again, immersed with the each-other-life-catching-up-session, they aren’t aware Minho is already by the door, sweater on and keys in hand.

“Baby, I’m going.”

“Oh! What?! Where?”

“I’m picking Kibum up. It’s raining and he’s afraid it will ruin his equipment.”

Both checks the window and found out its pouring hard outside, “Oh I didn’t realize.”

“Who will realize if they’re too excited interrogating Eunsook?” She’s jutting her mouth and Minho kissed her goodbye, “We’ll grab some drink after and be back soon!!”

Junghee’s shooing her husband away and when she’s back to her best friend, the latter knits her brows together, clueless all over her face.

“Who is Kibum?”

“Ah! I forget to tell you! He’s the guy who’s currently living in the other room.”

“And who’s the guy that currently living in the other room?”

Junghee bursts out in an un-ladylike laughter and Eunsook’s getting more annoyed, “Sorry, baby. Well, Kibum and I went to middle school together. He’s happened to be Minho’s neighbor back in Seoul. He was searching for a temporary place to stay when we put the ads of the vacant room online. He’s a photographer and has some project here for his indie magazine. So, yeah.”

“So, yeah?”

She rolled her eyes, “I mean, I know it’s my bad, I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you this before. But you’re okay with this, right?”

Actually Eunsook is not that comfortable because she’s the only one who doesn’t know this Kibum guy. And since middle school, she realized she hates being an outcast since she’s quite awkward with new people.

“Well, this is your house, so…”

Knowing the nature of her best friend, Junghee jumped a bit on her seat, “Don’t worry, baby! He’s a really nice guy. You’ll like him in no time, I promise. He’s too busy anyway, so I guess it’s rarely you’ll meet him in the house.”

“Whatever.”

Eunsook muttered almost silently and thank God Junghee didn’t catch this one.

***

“Any idea what you gonna do today?”

Junghee dropped pile of pancakes on Eunsook’s plate, making the latter’s eyes filled with happiness. Warmth of jolly brought Junghee beaming so wide, after all, seeing her best friend still her best friend, a girl who appreciates simple things and turns it into happiness.

“Have no plan. I just bought the ticket, packed my stuff, and flew here. No itinerary, no schedule. I’m a complete blank paper now.”

“Good!” Junghee took a place in front of her and started her own breakfast, “We should go shopping today! It’s been so long since I bought new shoes.”

“Then what do you call those brown leathery goods you purchased last month, love?”

Minho rests his arm across her shoulder while take the seat.

“That’s because it was on sale! And it came in a set with yours! I got that because we couldn’t buy it separately if we want the sale price, Mister!”

“For God’s sake! It’s not even nine! Can you both let others have a quiet breakfast?”

Eunsook’s eyes darted to the stair at the corner, and she became restless out of nowhere. A tall guy with pale face paces down, dark hair bounced fluffily like a black cotton candy with each step. Those skinny jeans seemed too tight on his long limbs but he balanced it somehow with an oversized t-shirt. He walked pass them to grab some coffee as if Eunsook is not there.

“This is my house and I can do whatever I want, dude.”

Minho throws a grapefruit to his direction which the latter luckily caught it.

“I will kill you if you made me drop my cup. That lady next to you will voluntary skin me alive if I messed up her kitchen!”

“You deserved that?”

Three of them keep arguing and laughing while Eunsook has her lips sealed, trying to enjoy her pancakes peacefully, ignoring the scene happened there even though she knew it’s getting hard for her to swallow each bite since the bright room suddenly is too suffocating.

Until Kibum realized he’s a stranger to someone. He gave Junghee a hint with his chin and she makes a voiceless ‘O’.

“Eunsook-ah! This is the guy I told you about. Kibum, this is my best friend Eunsook. She will stay here for vacation. And I will not only skin you but sell your flesh to the market if you dare to make a move on her.”

Eunsook almost spilled out the coffee inside her mouth, she tosses the closest napkin to Junghee’s face which luckily dodged it very well.

“And you only blame me while it’s also your fault for having a friend who is too pretty?” he stretched out her hand to Eunsook, “Kim Kibum. Nice to meet you, and please ignore Junghee whenever she said bad things about me. She still holds grudge since middle school because I grew 12 centimeters taller than her.”

“Lee Eunsook. Don’t worry, she’s too loud I already cover my ears the second she’s about to open her mouth.”

A beautiful curve formed on her face, she smiled so bright Kibum got dizzy for a moment. There’s something so soft touched his heart and he’s pretty sure it’s related to those fluffy rosy cheeks.

“Can you stop hogging my friend’s hand like that?!”

Minho let out a poisonous laughter because he understands why Kibum acts like that. Eunsook herself is already crimson red when Kibum retreat his hand.

“See?! This is your fault, Kim Junghee.”

“You are the one who cannot control your thirst!”

“Forgive me, princess,” he cocked his head to Eunsook, “But your friend really has wild mouth. I can’t resist slapping her sometimes.”

“Oh, please be my guest! Since I have no heart to harm her even though she deserved it.”

Junghee balled her fist when Kibum and Eunsook join the force through a friendly high five, leaving Minho with no option than console her by kissing the side of her head.

“Don’t worry, I still love you, baby.”

“You better be!” she then kissed Minho which the latter complied.

Eunsook naturally can only pull out a bitter smile. The scene happened in front of her, it would be hers six months ago. She would be exactly like her best friend, in love and beloved.

Whilst Minho and Junghee are busy in their own bubble, Kibum didn’t fail to catch the changed expression on Eunsook. But he’d rather to shake it off than ask her further question or make sure she’s alright which might too rude for a new acquaintance.

“Go back to your room if you want to continue for the second round! This view is polluting my precious eyes.”

“I said this is my house, Kim Kibum.”

With that Minho continued peppering his wife with kisses all over her face which makes Kibum decided to imitate puking voice that surprisingly makes Eunsook chuckled.

Once again, something soft tickling Kibum’s heart.

***

Sometimes, we just don’t realize we will meet the one, do we? Love after all, is a beautiful thinking that we probably only dream about until the tiniest detail of each counterpart, but turned us to be so oblivious when it brought into reality. Isn’t it pretty amazing? :)

—————-

Chapter 2

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Ali & Caleb

Ali: Do we know when Carly's funeral is going to be yet? Ali: I need to come back but I don't want to pester her parents...I sent a message but no response Caleb: I did too and got nothing either Caleb: I'm feeling they dont want us to be knowing Ali: Think so too Ali: Which is rich considering Ali: Trying to be understanding but where have they been Ali: I know I was away too but Caleb: you kept in touch Caleb: they haven't met their grandchild yet, have they? That's their vibe Caleb: imma leave them in peace but its not cool Ali: everything is so fucked Ali: how did this happen Caleb: never seen my mum madder Caleb: she's not praying for them saving 'em up for indie & drew Caleb: you gotta make sure you handle your own goodbye Ali: Can't blame her Ali: thank God she and Meena were there or they could both be gone Ali: What the hell is going to happen now Ali: Yeah, I'll have to, I don't think we're getting in to the real funeral but, it won't be her anyway Ali: they don't know her Caleb: I wish I had been, caught my mum crying hard later & that was before all this Caleb: she's down to take her in but I dunno if he'll allow it Caleb: Carly's parents could take her still its mad here rn Ali: I owe her big time, I didn't know what else to do, she wouldn't go to Hospital so I can't be sorry I did it but I am sorry for the fucking trauma of it all Ali: In a way, that might be better for her, but then...they've not done a good job with Carly, have they? Would they let history repeat itself Ali: but Drew, fuck Caleb: it's all good, like nah, but as far as my mum goes Caleb: you did the right thing Caleb: I dunno man they might be feeling like they're getting a second chance with her but will it be? Caleb: you heard from him? Caleb: im blocked Ali: Thanks, I'm doubting everything I did and said now Ali: but I really tried Ali: I truly don't know what's for the best but it will have to be worked out Ali: Poor baby Ali: No, not since this whole...mess Ali: I think he genuinely feels guilt for this one Caleb: You handled shit better than I could. Better than most I think Caleb: Estou orgulhoso de ti, querida. Caleb: yeah my heart's breaking to look at her Caleb: He won't let me help him & truth be that I don't even know where to start Caleb: No idea what he wants, you know Caleb: could be what the kid needs but as easy could not be Ali: You're too nice for your own good Ali: He probably feels like he doesn't deserve it, and rightly so frankly but not going to spite Indie just to prove a point Ali: She's so innocent Ali: Oh God Ali: I'd do it myself but the social would never sign off on that Ali: who am I, like Ali: She's got family Caleb: I ain't feeling it. I'm raging Caleb: I get that I don't get to speak on it, and he's hurting so I'm not going there but I dunno how he could let her go like that Caleb: With the bab there Caleb: Shit's beyond fucked Caleb: We could try. You were Carly's family Caleb: She'd want you looking out for indie Ali: I don't know Ali: It was hard to know how to help her Ali: but he didn't even try Ali: well, from what we can see from our outside perspective Ali: she seemed to think he did but Ali: I don't fucking know Ali: It really is, thank God Indie won't remember any of this Ali: Drew will have to, and that's his punishment Ali: I asked Mum, its pretty much a no go, if she got put in the system, if none of them claimed her, then maybe, but not whilst I'm at Uni and away and I already have too many kids to deal with by standards Ali: especially for a single parent, they wouldn't favour me over a nice, older well-off couple with everything to give Caleb: She wanted to bounce so says my mum, he shoulda let her do what she needed to do, she had to be in shock having her way it went Caleb: gotta keep your babies safe they're defenseless Caleb: anything could've happened them playing at family how they did Caleb: Filho da mãe! Caleb: Okay but hear me out...what if we went at this together? Caleb: You still got your ring, you're still my missus, legal or nah Caleb: se você me tiver eu estou disposto Ali: She did, she had, she told me where she was Ali: I just think its too easy to think over all this now Ali: its plausible he was trying to keep her safe by bringing her back, its not out there Ali: arguably was safer who knows where she would've ended up Ali: its happened regardless of all the what-ifs and woulda coulda shoulda Ali: better focusing on what we can all do now, Drew included Ali: See, too nice Ali: Of course I do Ali: I still don't think it'll happen but of course we can try Ali: if it comes to that Caleb: True Caleb: He was outta his depth, feeling like he could get Carly to turn it all around, let his kid have the ma he never Caleb: It's sad man Caleb: Good Caleb: We can't worry on that yet but I've been stressing over you out there on your own Caleb: Can I hit you with another idea? Ali: Yeah, exactly Ali: Very fucking sad Ali: Oh, I'm fine, like, not right now but, you know Ali: Go for it Caleb: Try not to get vexed at me for sneaking but it's been a while Caleb: I've been hitting up job offers round you and they've said yeah to some part time things Caleb: I wanna come out, help with the kids more than ever now Caleb: What you think? Ali: You're serious? Ali: I think its the best news I've had in a long while Ali: Well done you! Caleb: what happened got me thinking Caleb: and its the only thing that makes sense Caleb: us all together, you feel me? Caleb: It won't be easy but neither is this rn Ali: I've been feeling the same Ali: but I was too scared to put it out there Ali: Family should be all that matters Ali: the rest is just bullshit to deal with Ali: the kids are going to be so excited when are you coming Caleb: my bad for leaving you hanging this long but I didn't wanna mess you around, not only with the job, you know Caleb: but my heart's sure Caleb: I dunno what I'd do if shit happened to you, cos you're my baby mama yeah, but cos you're you too Caleb: I still feel the same, not trying to change it these days Caleb: Gotta help Gus get my cuz ready to do my thing but won't take no time Ali: Not at all, it had to be right Ali: It would be all the more painful and wrong if you came and we couldn't make it work Ali: I love you Caleb: I love you too Caleb: You've been all on my mind since I last saw you and thats how I want it Ali: Wait Ali: before you commit fully I have something to tell you Ali: might change your mind, I don't know so you need to know now before Caleb: You can tell me Caleb: I'm listening Ali: [Sends bump pic] Ali: About 5/6 months Ali: Your Bday, Christmas, remember? Ali: I didn't say because Ali: Last time Ali: I've not told anyone else though, no one Caleb: Shit man! You been dealing on your own Caleb: That's so rough, Ali Caleb: You should've said, hit up your fam if not me Caleb: I get not wanting to say it but I gotta ask, was there anyone else on the scene? Caleb: I know what I think but I need to hear it Ali: It was worst for you but Ali: it wasn't exactly easy to tell them Ali: I know they were all disappointed or disgusted or whatever else valid feelings but it wasn't fun Ali: No, no one else Caleb: We gotta tell them Caleb: Mine too Caleb: What's the story? What's the doctor said? Are you both good? Ali: Yeah, my blood pressure's a bit high but to be expected, I told him I ain't got no time to chill Ali: are you happy? Ali: do you think anyone will be? or have i had one too many to soon to get the congrats now Caleb: I'm gonna make time for you to chill Caleb: Swear down Caleb: Eu nunca estive mais feliz Caleb: And they'll be happy for us too. Trust Ali: That would be nice Ali: don't think I've stopped since I came here Ali: If they aren't, they aren't Ali: Its coming, like Caleb: I'll rush through what I gotta do here, be with you sooner Caleb: More I can do to take care of the bubs the more you can have that you time Caleb: I'm not slipping on you or this baby, you're gonna be all good Caleb: Gus'll throw us a party, he misses you like I do Ali: You don't need to do that, tho no shade to your cuz but some talent you just can't teach Ali: #natural Ali: I miss him too, I miss everyone Ali: Oh shit Ali: Has anyone told Ro? Did she even know Carly was pregnant Ali: We've not spoken much, I've tried to give her space, let her live her Uni dreams Ali: Fuck Caleb: You don't need to hype me but I'll allow it Caleb: yeah no lie I'm a bit scared about heading over gotta be done for my culinary arts tho like, keep the restaurant game fresh for my fam Caleb: Oh damn! Meena maybe? I dunno Caleb: She swerves me & everything happened fast Ali: You're gonna love it Ali: I've found so many amazing places already, I can't wait to show you Ali: Even Junie's trying new things Ali: I'll have to ask her, God I hope so Ali: If not, oddly maybe it'll be best coming from me? Seems wrong but Ali: she knows I was friends with Carly Caleb: That's my boy 💪💚 Caleb: I'm excited too, trust Caleb: yeah we all felt the love Caleb: Hope she didn't hear it from the wrong peeps but it'll be what it is Ali: I dread to think how fast the rumour mill be spinning Ali: Wankers Caleb: Least she got that distance Caleb: You're the furthest and closest Caleb: I hate that it's gotta be this way for you Ali: I'm just glad I got to know her Ali: I was lucky enough, none of them were so Ali: say what they like, they did when she was alive, like Caleb: I should've known her better Caleb: I knew what Drew was doing Ali: We all did Ali: what could we have done? stop him? stop her? Ali: they both made choices, even if they were poor ones, or made not in their best state and mind Caleb: True Caleb: I let him make a lot of bad choices, shit went on too long Caleb: It's not on me to pull him back anymore I got focus elsewhere Ali: You can't blame yourself for him Ali: its his to shoulder Ali: yeah, a lot of bad shit happened to him but, he's made a lot of it happen since Ali: not his excuse of a Ma Ali: she's not been around for a long time Ali: Meena still manages to be good and do the right thing, y'know? Caleb: Exactly Caleb: He's grown now and he needs to act it more than he's been Caleb: There are two kids in this Caleb: Behaving like her isn't what he wants but we can't do the changing for him Caleb: It wasn't on Carly to help me out with that either Ali: Right, though, clearly he won't acknowledge Edie unless I'm dead Ali: Fucked up thing to say but more fucked up that its real Ali: I know Ali: but she loved him, she wanted to Ali: he shoulda treated her so much better, she gave him everything she had and for what? Caleb: over my dead body would he mess that kids head and life up if you weren't here Caleb: it's not right Caleb: I don't feel I know him nowadays Ali: I know Ali: you're a better Dad to her than he could ever be Ali: just the truth Ali: I know Ali: its a shame but you and your fam have done all you can for him Ali: can only wait and see what he does now Caleb: I'd adopt her but I'm hoping against hope he'll wanna be her dad Caleb: But if not now when like? Caleb: Now he's got to take care of Indie alone that's the excuse he needs Caleb: shit man Caleb: he doesn't deserve either of those girls Ali: She'll know Ali: we don't need a piece of paper to make it official Ali: she feels the 💚 Ali: No matter what happens, we have to look after Indie too, okay? Ali: Make sure she's good Ali: Promise Caleb: I promise you Caleb: nothing's gonna happen to any of these kids on my watch Caleb: she'll feel the love too, all we've got Caleb: 5 babies or 15, gonna keep my word Ali: Same Ali: we're not doing a bad job, are we? Ali: I don't want to prove everyone right Caleb: We've been slipping but it'll be all good when we're together again Caleb: Better with you than without Caleb: And we've always done the bubs right no matter what Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: haters got me trippin' Ali: don't tell Caleb: I'll pick you up on the quiet Caleb: when you going to the doctors again? I'll time my trip so I can be with Ali: its not 'til next month Ali: so that should actually work out reasonably well? Caleb: Fated Ali: if not its only a checkup so its chill Ali: but we can aim for it Caleb: Sooner the better for me Caleb: Don't tell the kids I wanna show up and see them lose their shit like on the vids Ali: That will be too cute for words Caleb: forreal Caleb: Imma try and get Junie on the songs cos I got my girls to help me Caleb: he's already a chatterbox we halfway to it Ali: they've learnt this Malay nursery rhyme Ali: its sick, they're so good at it Ali: I'll let them show you when you come Caleb: they can teach me Caleb: gimme a leg up Ali: Yeah, and Mandarin Ali: like, you'd get along fine with English but its so much more fun and just respectful to try Ali: I want them to learn as much as they can whilst we're here Ali: and wherever else we end up Caleb: I feel that Caleb: I got an app on my phone but with everything that's been going down I haven't tried Caleb: Sampled some fusion cooking tho which'll be sick now I've got more peeps to get stuck into eating it Caleb: Getting a belly here Ali: 😍 Ali: oh I've missed you Caleb: won't have to for much longer 💚 Caleb: i'll be counting down them training days honest Ali: speaking of Ali: gotta run Ali: got class in an hour and best believe i need all this time to get those kids out the door Caleb: oh I be knowing Caleb: go get your genius on Ali: talk soon ✌ Ali: love you Caleb: te amo 💚💙💜

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neverisalongtime-ja-blog · 7 years

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Chapter 10: Celebrity status

Hello fanfic lovers and Klinghoffer lovers and Joshan lover!

I hope you all are having a lovely week! To top that here is chapter 10 of this story. I reeeeally hope you like it and don’t forget the feedback!

There is a reference in this chapter of a interview Josh had at Lollapalooza, so if you find it, tell me!

Remember to follow Anastasia on Instagram because is cute!

Anastasia_Truman

Much love to you all! ❤️️

---------------------------------

Read chapter 9

- You are going to drive from New York to Chicago? – Mandy asked her friend, Anastasia, through the phone – You realize that it’s an almost thirteen hour trip? Right?

- I know. Josh and I will take turns at the wheel – Anastasia answered.

- That is a totally unnecessary thing to do – Mandy replied.

- It’s going to be fun. A fun road trip.

- A day before a concert! A huge concert! You are going to be tired!

- I won’t. I promise!

- Anyway, I heard that Jacob is going to Lolla too! He is traveling from London with Mark and Steph!

- I haven’t seen Stephanie in years – Stephanie was Mark’s (Anastasia’s brother) long time girlfriend.

- Yes! It’s going to be like a family thing. I can imagine that Barbara is going to be there as well.

- She hasn’t spent a single night here in the room. I haven’t even seen her actually.

- Well, divorces can be really hard, you know. Unless Anthony Kiedis is your best friend, that way you forget about your ex real quick.

- You are insane! I gotta go. I’ll call you when I arrive to Chicago; I think you’ll be there already by that time.

- Have a safe trip! – Mandy said before hung the phone.

Josh had the idea of driving to Chicago and Anastasia though it was crazy at first but then though it was going to be a good thing to create some kind of bond with him.

- Did you bring music? – Josh asked before starting the engine of the rented black Hyundai SUV.

- I grabbed everything that was in my laptop. That includes a bunch of 90’s pop, a lot of British indie rock, many of the crap I had produced for other people and every single song by Fleetwood Mac because Stevie Nicks is the entity for which I wake up every morning.

- Really? – He asked.

- I’ll do anything for Stevie.

- Well I’ll take Fleetwood and the British stuff.

They alternate between Anastasia’s and Josh’s flash disks, which had a lot of better tunes, so they drove with the most eclectic music choices anyone can possibly imagine.

- I have a doubt – Josh asked while they were listening to a British band called Franz Ferdinand, which was Anastasia’s choice – You are British, right?

- Yes, I was born in Chelsea, I think I told you.

- So where is your British accent?

- Well it disappeared. I’ve been living in LA for almost fifteen years, Josh. I am the most non-British British you can find.

- That sucks because I am a sucker for British everything.

- Well in that case I can be very British sometimes – They both laugh – I still visit London once a year, mostly at Christmas time. I do it for my father.

- Just for your father?

- The rest of the family members aren’t fans of me. It’s complicated. Everybody hates the outside-marriage children – Anastasia has another two sisters for her father’s side. Their mom was married to Nick when he cheated her with Anastasia’s mother.

- I’ve read a little bit about that.

- Did you Google me? – Anastasia said stoic.

- Well not like that. But there is a lot of information about you out there.

- Yes, mostly fake.

After singing every possible line to Fleetwood Mac’s songs and a few quick stops for gas and food the couple arrived to Chicago. The trip really helped both of them. They connected in a new level; they felt more comfortable in each other’s company. They finally drove to an exclusive hotel in the city where everyone was going to stay, Mandy and the boys were already there but Anastasia was too tired to do anything so she and Josh agreed on not telling anyone they had arrived and sneak to Josh’s room to get some sleep.

This time in bed was so different. They just slept, but sleeping together brought a whole different kind of intimacy than that of sex. The way Josh hugged her and buried his face on her neck gave Anastasia a solid base to assure her decision about this relationship, even if it wasn’t an official thing yet.

When Anastasia woke up it was already dark outside. She let Josh sleep and quietly left the room. She looked at her phone and saw around 12 messages and six missing calls from Mandy, the last text indicated that she was at the hotel bar with Barbara and Mark.

Once Anastasia walked through the bar door she saw her family and friends at a table to her left. Mandy was there, obviously next to Barbara and Mark who was hugging her girlfriend, Stephanie, with an arm and next to Mandy there was another man, when she got close she could see his face, it was Jacob her childhood friend from London, a short and really pale guy with piercing blue eyes and black short hair. The two had history together. Besides being the best of friends to this day, Jacob was Anastasia’s first everything, they tried to have a long distance relationship (Her in California, him in London) when they were around seventeen, but they were very young and dumb and with time they realized they loved each other more as friends than anything else. Even after that, their friendship/relationship was highly publicized in the British tabloids, he was a child actor at that time, and she was the trouble daughter of a very famous rocker. “A match made in hell” as one of the tabloids recalled.

Jacob was the first to get up and greet her.

- You haven’t changed a thing – He said giving her a tight hug.

- I won’t. I will never change – she answered.

- Wait until you are fifty, you’ll need Botox if you want to keep that baby face of yours – Barbara opined.

- Are you here for the festival? – Anastasia wanted to know.

- Yes! And I’m gonna start to film a movie in New York in a couple of weeks so I decided to come early and that way I could see you! I missed you!

- I missed you too! But we Skype like once a month, Jacob.

- It’s not the same – Mandy said suddenly – Where is Josh by the way?

- Sleeping.

- How do you know that Josh is sleeping right now? – Mark asked surprised.

- Oh… Don’t you know? – Mandy said – It happened – Mark didn’t have to say a thing. He understood what Mandy was saying. He started to laugh.

- Steph! It’s so amazing to see you again – Anastasia said changing the subject of the conversation.

Stephanie, tall with light brown hair and pale skin was Mark’s long-time girlfriend. They had been together for around 10 years; she was undoubtedly a part of the family. More than that, she was a great and close friend for Anastasia. Unlike with Jacob, they Skype at least twice a month.

- So you have a boy? – Steph asked with a heavy accent while Anastasia took a seat between her and Jacob.

- More like a grow ass man – Mandy said from the other side of the table.

- We are just getting to know each other – Anastasia said to Steph.

- You’ve known him for more than five years – Mandy said.

- Yes but not this way – Anastasia said to Mandy – He is one of Mark’s friends – she said looking to Stephanie again.

- Oh! Do I know him?

- I don’t know – Mark said – I think we saw him once in London. You will remember him when you see him, the guy is quite unforgettable.

- And that is the Josh effect: nobody can forget him – Mandy said laughing.

- You didn’t tell me about this – Jacob said suddenly.

- It’s pretty recent – Anastasia answered – I still don’t know if I want a real and long term relationship with him. So when I’m ready to tell you I will.

The night went by catching up with Stephanie and Jacob. Anastasia was happy to see him. Jacob had always been a great support to her. When all the disaster with Valentine happened he flew all the way from London to Los Angeles just to be with her. They didn’t feel a romantic nor sexual connection between them, but a strong friendship was definitely there. Since the tabloid mess when they were teenagers happened, all their encounters somehow ended on the news and social media, a thing Anastasia hated and which had been a good reason for not seeing him so often.

Anastasia though that Josh must have slept the entire night through the next day because she didn’t have any information about him, even at the festival.

The band got early to the show location for all the interviews they had to do. Mandy and Anastasia always did most of the press schedule, but this time they all had to do the same job. Around three in the afternoon Anastasia met with Barbara to go to the Chili Peppers trailer. They opened the door not knowing that Josh was inside in the middle of an interview, they excused themselves and ran to the next door. She could see Josh smiling at her because of the situation.

Only Flea and Anthony were in the trailer.

- A journalist just said that Mandy and I are the female version of you two and I can’t feel more satisfied with myself right now – Anastasia said to Anthony and Flea.

- It’s not far from the truth – Flea said – I mean we all kind of raised you so it’s logical that you have some of us in your attitude and in the way you found Mandy, who complements you so well.

- Man, don’t I love you enough – Anastasia said – By the way, I think we just ruined Josh’s interview.

- Is it true that you two came driving from New York? – Anthony wanted to know.

- Yes. It was more fun than what I thought it would be.

- Is something going on there? – Anthony asked again and Anastasia just shrugged.

- Do you think something should happen? -Anastasia asked.

- Yes, damn it! -Anthony said and everyone laughed.

After a while they went outside again and spotted Josh talking to her brother, Nick, Eric and Jacob.

- So you two already met? – She asked approaching them and pointing to Josh and Jacob.

- Yes! Being the big Red Hot Chili Pepper fan that I am, I’m stoic – Jacob said.

- I still can’t believe you are here – Anastasia said hugging Jacob.

- I haven’t seen you on a stage in years, it was about damn time! – He smiled to her.

- We have to be ready in 30 minutes – Eric said.

- WHAT? – Anastasia screamed – I’m far from ready! I need to change.

- You better run – Nick said.

She did. She found Mandy and Steph on her trailer who helped her get ready. She did her hair and makeup and they helped her put on her outfit, a special one: black high-waisted fringed shorts, a black t-shirt with the word “Witch” in silver letters and velvet over-the-knee boots in blue. She and Mandy wore their quartz crowns, which were “their thing” and were ready to go.

Stephanie was dancing next to Barbara at a side of the stage while Jacob, Mark, Josh and Chad were enjoying the show behind them. The energy was at its highest that night and Dead Curse gave the best performance in months and so did the Chilies. Josh seemed happier on stage.

An after party awaited for them and Anastasia felt kind of bad at the end of the night because she set all her attention on Jacob, they even danced some songs like they used to in London when they were teenagers, while Josh just chatted with friends. But they both agreed on spending the night together so after a shower and a change into more cozy clothes she went to his room.

- You looked great on that stage tonight – He said to her while the two were sitting on a couch.

- Really? It was an amazing show, we sounded good as hell! – Anastasia said with enthusiasm – The Peppers did a great show too but that is an obvious statement.

- That guy, Jacob, seems fun – Josh said suddenly.

- I’ve known Jacob since we were eight years old. We were neighbors back in London. We always played together and our moms were friends, he has been a great support during my whole life.

- That’s good I guess.

- Since you’ve been Googling my name you must have read that we were in a relationship once, but that is in the past and we were never actually in a real relationship. At sixteen or seventeen you don’t even know what a relationship is.

- I haven’t Googled you – he said laughing.

- Why are you laughing then?

- Because it’s funny – Anastasia jumped on him and started to tickle him. Both were laughing badly when Anastasia’s phone rang.

It was a message from Mandy that read “They never get enough” and a link was attached. Anastasia knew what it was all about before she even opened it, but she did it anyways. Another pink website appeared with a report of her and Jacob all over each other in Chicago. She got frustrated and angry.

- When are they gonna stop? – She asked.

- What happened? – She handed the phone to Josh. He looked at it with the most stoic face expression – This sucks - His face now showed sadness – It’s the same thing that happened in the Netherlands for Pinkpop – He left the phone in a near table and got up the couch – I don’t feel comfortable with this Anastasia.

- You think I do? I’ve been working my ass off to have the lowest profile I can my entire life.

- Well you haven’t worked hard enough – Anastasia looked into Josh’s eyes not believing the words that had come out of his mouth.

- Excuse me? – He didn’t repeat them – Well I’m sorry if my last name brought this entire load which I cannot get rid of. It’s not like I’m a fucking Kardashian either, Josh.

- I just don’t like the exposure.

- I don’t like it either! – Anastasia was raising her voice – My last name has brought me great things and fame is a price I didn’t ask to pay. I stopped doing all the stupid shit I did when I was a teenager, I stopped talking to a bunch of people because I didn’t like a fucking camera lens in my face anytime I went out, I even stopped going to crowded places in LA, I don’t go to many red carpets anymore.

- I don’t feel comfortable with that aspect of your life. I had a taste of it in the Netherlands and I have the feeling it’s never gonna go away – After Josh’s words, Anastasia didn’t know how to act.

- I’m just gonna leave. I don’t really know how to handle this right now.

He didn’t stop her. She just left to her room with anger all over her system. Luckily for her she found Steph on the way to her room.

- Darling, what happened? – Anastasia saw her and started to cry. She was a tough cookie and not many things made her cry, but this situation got into her nerves. She couldn’t control what others wrote about her and she learned that after lots and lots of years in therapy. The fact that Josh wasn’t supportive and just decided to get rid of her because of such a dumb thing really broke her.

Stephanie helped her to get to her room and Mandy was inside.

- Oh God, An! – Mandy said and ran to hold her friend.

Once she was sitting in a bed, Anastasia told them about all the things that were said in Josh’s room.

- The thing is that I know how Josh is. I told Mark a long time ago: I have a lot of “Hollywood baggage” – Anastasia said wiping the tears from her face.

- But that does not justify Josh's behavior! – Steph said – When I started to date your brother, people said disgusting things too, especially fans all over the word, but that didn’t keep me from being with him because I loved him and I knew he loved me and that was all that mattered. He knows who you are and where you come from, he can’t expect things like this aren’t going to happen.

- Do you remember all the things that people said about you and Jacob? – Mandy said - And all the dead threats you received because people thought you were a couple? That was bullshit and you really learned from that. I know how much you’ve tried to keep a low profile, but the truth is, that is never going to happen, because of your last name and because of our band.

- Josh doesn’t understand that – Anastasia said – I hate this “Celebrity status”.

- All that should matter to him is that you are real, and that you are not in this business just because you want fame, because you know how shitty fame is. You are here because you love what you do and it’s important to you to express yourself through music, and if he can’t see all the light you radiate and the great aspects about you then he can go fuck himself – Stephanie said.

- The most stupid thing is that you are both angry for something you have in common: obsession with privacy – Mandy said and Anastasia felt gratitude for having people like them in her life.

Read chapter 11

#josh klinghoffer #joshklinghoffer #klinghoffer #redhotchilipeppers #red hot chili peppers #rhcp #fanfic #fan fic #fanfiction #fan fiction #joshan

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itsswansecrets · 7 years

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Fangirls

Title: Fangirls Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Emma/Regina Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 1456 Note: Written (a bit late) for @swanqueenweek day 1 - Celeb AU

Regina Mills arrived kinda last minute. It was better that way. Less chance of anyone seeing her and making a fuss if she slipped in quietly at the last minute. She was dressed casually and wore a beanie hat. With her best friend Kathryn leading the way they went to their seats in the front row.

Regina was on the end of the middle section in front of the stage. She slipped off her jacket. She was wearing a t-shirt with the logo of the band on it.

“Such a fangirl,” Kathryn commented with a laugh.

Regina stuck out her tongue.

Only a couple of minutes later the lights went down, the support act made their way on stage and the show began.

The support band were good, but they weren’t who Regina had come to see. She was almost desperate for the main event. She clapped and she cheered at all the right parts but it was all just adding to her anticipation.

Regina Mills was an actress. She did mostly movies these days. She was most well known for her work in a superhero franchise but she had done a lot of critically acclaimed roles too. Among her accolades was an Oscar for best supporting actress.

She had just arrived back in the US a couple of days ago after a tough few weeks shooting in Japan for a sci-fi action movie. A night with her best friend to see her favorite band was the perfect way to unwind from those hard weeks.

Once the support band had finished their set the stage crew quickly went to work setting up for the main act. A set of drums were brought on, the logo on the front of the base drum was the same as the one on Regina’s t-shirt: A white swan that was wearing a gold crown.

The Swan Queens were an all female group. Their music was hard to box into one genre. They had a kind of indie-rock vibe, but had put out songs in a wide range of styles. They were pretty successful and Regina had been a fan from the moment she’d heard them. Like many of their fans in the early days she had rooted for them to reach the big time, spreading the word and playing them for anyone who would take the time to listen. Now here they were. A big success. Seeing them live was always the best, and Regina couldn't wait.

The minutes dragged on. Kathryn was saying something but Regina couldn't think of anything else except that the Swan Queens were coming on any moment now.

While it was common knowledge that Regina was a fan of the band, what wasn't so common was that she had huge crush on the lead singer. Like all crushes she knew it was silly and it was just a cutesy little thing she liked to think about sometimes.

To cheers the band started to come on. A woman with wild red hair was first. Merida DunBroch situated herself behind the drums, picked up her sticks and gave a quick flourish as Belle French came on. She waved and went to the keyboards. She twinkled a few notes as Ruby Lucas strutted out from stage left, blowing kisses to the crowd, and took the bass guitar from its stand. They waited for the cheering to die down a little then started to play, the opening beats of 'Truest Believer' one of their most successful songs.

As they reached where the first lines of the song would be Emma Swan appeared, microphone in hand. The crowd, including Regina, went wild. Emma was in jeans, black boots, and a white shirt, with a red leather jacket on top. Truth be told Regina wasn't a fan of the jacket but Emma's awesome voice more than made up for it.

Just as the Swan Queens were getting into the chorus Emma's eyes locked with Regina's. Regina expected Emma to look away, but she didn't. Regina realised that Emma had probably recognised her. Emma held her gaze while she sang "I'm your truest believer baby, your number one. Your truest believer, your shining sun."

When Emma finally looked away Regina let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding. Emma's eyes had been so intense.

Regina was sure she was imagining it but Emma Swan seemed to be looking at her a lot. She guessed the crowd all felt like that as Emma performed.

It was a hell of a show and Regina was buzzed every moment of it.

The crowd were still cheering after the encore when one of the stewards in uniform approached Regina. The steward leaned in and said over the noise "the band would like to invite you and your friend to come backstage."

Regina nodded. She took Kathryn's hand and they followed the steward.

Regina woke to the smell of brewing coffee.

She opened her eyes to find herself in a very nice hotel room. She was on her back, naked, and the sheets were bunched up just above her waist. Over on the far side of the room, near the door to the hotel corridor, was a small area with a coffee pot, microwave and a toaster.

Emma Swan was there, watching the toaster impatiently. She was wearing a long pale blue shirt that gave flashes of bare buttocks when she moved.

It had been a hell of a night and Regina remembered it all. The backstage party had moved to the hotel. To this room in fact. Regina and Kathryn had rooms here at the same hotel just a block from the venue where the gig had been. One by one everyone had left the party until it was just Emma and Regina, they had been talking all night, barely noticing anyone else was with them.

Once they’d realised they were alone one thing had led to another and here she was waking up naked in Emma’s bed.

The toaster popped and Emma turned to look over at Regina. “Sorry, didn’t wake you did I?”

Regina shook her head as she sat up. “No.”

“You want coffee?”

“Please,” Regina smiled. She could help but think of the Swan Queens song ‘Morning Coffee’ though it was about a regretful one night stand. “I hope there’s no regrets by the harsh light of day,” Regina said, quoting some of the lyrics.

“Definitely not,” Emma flashed her a smile that Regina found beautiful. “How do you take it?”

“Black is good.”

Emma poured them both a cup of coffee and brought them and a small plate with her poptarts on it back to bed. She sat beside Regina, their backs against the headboard.

Regina took a sip of her coffee. “For hotel coffee this is surprisingly good.”

“I brought my own. I’d never survive without a decent coffee every morning.”

“I know how you feel.”

“Poptart?” Emma tilted the plate she was holding in Regina’s direction.

“Sure, thanks,” Regina took a pastry.

It was a relaxed and happy way to wake. It was also a bit weird for both of them. Regina was a huge Swan Queens fan, and from their long conversation Regina knew Emma had seen every movie she’d ever been in and could quote a huge amount of her lines. They were both surprise how at ease they were given that they were fans of each other.

“You know that’s very distracting,” Emma said about halfway through her coffee.

“What is?”

“You, Regina Mills, being naked like that.”

“I can put some clothes on if you’d prefer.”

Emma put on a mock thoughtful look then shook her head. “I definitely prefer you naked.”

“It’s going to be hard to listen to your music without thinking about you naked,” Regina said.

“What about me? How am I going to concentrate on your movies?”

“We’ll just have to cope I suppose.” Regina finished her coffee and put her cup down on the nightstand.

“So, uh, do you think you’d want to so this again? Hang out I mean,” Emma quickly added.

“I’d love to.”

“Assuming we ever have time."

"I have a feeling it'll be worth making the time," Regina said. She looked Emma in the eyes.

Emma smiled that beautiful smile again. "Was that a line from one of your movies?"

"No," Regina laughed.

"I might steal it for a song then," Emma deposited her empty plate and cup on the nightstand on her side of the bed. "So what have you got going on today?"

"Today? Oh nothing much," Regina squeezed Emma's hand. “Do you have any suggestions?”

Emma smirked and pulled her shirt off over her head. “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

#swan queen week #swan queen #Emma/Regina #celeb au #actress au #band au #femslash #My fic

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oscopelabs · 7 years

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Personality Crisis: The Radical Fluidity of Todd Haynes’ ‘Velvet Goldmine’ by Judy Berman

[This month, Musings pays homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to film we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Over the next four weeks, Musings will offer its own selection of tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

Like the glam rockers it gazes upon through the smoke-clouded lens of memory, Velvet Goldmine is most beautiful when it descends into chaos.

Stolen, the way great artists do, from Citizen Kane, the skeleton of Todd Haynes’ 1998 film is a chain of interlocking reminiscences of Brian Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a David Bowie-like glam rocker who fakes his own onstage death in the mid-’70s. A decade later—in that most dystopic of years, 1984—his ex-wife Mandy (Toni Collette) and former manager Cecil (Michael Feast) relate their bitter tales of betrayal to a journalist (Christian Bale) whose assignment has him reluctantly reliving his own teenage sexual awakening under the influence of Brian’s music. Between the interviews, musical numbers, and onscreen epigrams, there’s also a mysterious female narrator who sometimes surfaces, like a teacher reading a subversive storybook, with dreamy exposition that reaches back a century to invoke glam’s patron saint, Oscar Wilde.

The film climaxes with a propulsive sequence of scenes that are exhilarating precisely because they merge all of these points of view, subjective and omniscient, into one collective fantasy. Brian and his new conquest, the Iggy Pop/Lou Reed composite Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor), ride mini spaceships at a carnival to Reed’s “Satellite of Love.” Two random schoolgirls, their faces obscured, act out a love scene between a Curt doll and a Brian doll. In a posh hotel lobby, Brian’s entourage, styled like Old Hollywood starlets on the Weimar Germany set of a fin-de-siècle period film, recites pilfered sound bites about art. Then Brian and Curt are kissing on a circus stage, surrounded by old men in suits. They play Brian Eno’s “Baby’s on Fire” as Haynes cuts between the performance, an orgy in their hotel suite, and Bale’s hapless, young Arthur Stuart masturbating over a newspaper photo of Brian fellating Curt’s guitar. Stripped of narration—not to mention narrative—the film seems to be running on its own amorous fumes, its story fragmenting into a heap of glittering images as it hurtles from set piece to set piece.

Visual pleasure aside, it’s a perfect way of translating into cinematic language the argument that underlies Haynes’ script—that glam’s revelations about the radical fluidity of human identity go far beyond sex and gender. As the apotheosis of teen pop audiences’ thirst for outsize personae, fictional characters like Ziggy Stardust (who Velvet Goldmine further fictionalizes as Slade’s alter ego, Maxwell Demon) melded the symbiotic identities of artist and fan into a single, tantalizing vision of hedonism and transgression. Kids imitated idols they didn’t quite recognize as pure manifestations of their own inchoate desires. Musician and fan became each other’s mirror, and both could become entirely new people simply by changing costumes or names.

But it’s pretty much impossible to imagine Velvet Goldmine’s distributor and co-producer, Harvey Weinstein, appreciating this as he watched the film for the first time—or seeing anything in it, really, besides an expensive mess.

Haynes and his loyal producing partner, Killer Films head Christine Vachon, had already been through hell with Velvet Goldmine by the time they delivered a cut to Miramax. Bowie had refused Haynes’ repeated requests for permission to use six Ziggy-era songs in the film, claiming that he had a glam movie of his own in the works. And in a production diary that appears in her book Shooting to Kill, Vachon points out one unique challenge of making a film about queer male sexuality: “The MPAA seems to have a number of double standards. Naked females get R ratings, but pickle shots tend to get NC-17s. Our Miramax contract obligates us to an R.” She also mentions that an investor pulled $1 million of funding just weeks before filming.

The shoot was even more harrowing than the two veteran indie filmmakers could’ve predicted. As they fell behind schedule, a production executive started nagging Vachon to make cuts. “Todd is miserable,” she wrote in her diary the night before they wrapped. “He says that making movies this way is awful and he doesn’t want to do it.” In an interview that accompanies the published screenplay for Velvet Goldmine, Oren Moverman asks Haynes, “Was the making of the film joyful for you?” “I’m afraid not,” he replies. “We were trying very hard to cut scenes while shooting, knowing that we were behind and we didn’t have the money for the overloaded schedule. But there was hardly a scene we could cut without losing essential narrative information.” It’s remarkable that he managed to capture 123 usable minutes’ worth of meticulously art-directed ‘70s excess (and ‘80s bleakness) in just nine weeks, under so much external pressure, on a budget of $7 million.

When the film finally reached Harvey Scissorhands, after months of editing, Weinstein told Haynes it was too long and the structure didn’t work. “He made suggestions that I didn’t follow, and then he just buried it,” the director told Down and Dirty Pictures author Peter Biskind. What happened next comes straight from the Weinstein playbook: “Even afterward,” Haynes remembered, “they threw out a DVD, they didn’t ask for a director commentary, my name wasn’t on the cover of it, it was buried in the minuscule billing block. He can’t even do the really small things that don’t cost anything—he never shows any respect.” (That Haynes never found a distributor he preferred to Weinstein, with whom he reunited for I’m Not There and Carol, speaks volumes about the way Hollywood treats ambitious filmmakers.)

After it failed to blow audiences away at the 1998 Cannes Film Festival, Miramax effectively dumped Velvet Goldmine. It debuted on just 85 screens that November, ultimately grossing about $1 million stateside. Its ridiculous theatrical trailer might well be a glimpse at the movie Weinstein was expecting: a “magical trip back to the ‘70s” with 100% more murder mystery and 100% less gay sex.

Critics were just as ambivalent about the film as festival audiences. While forward-thinking reviewers wanted to love it for its visual beauty and openly queer aesthetic, many lamented that its plot was slight and its characters hollow. David Ansen of Newsweek complained that “Haynes is unwilling to get too close to his characters. Slade, in particular, is a blank”—failing to see that Brian is a cypher by design. Like the Barbie-doll Karen Carpenter of Haynes’ debut feature, Superstar, and the fragments of Bob Dylan diffused across I’m Not There, Velvet Goldmine’s Bowie is less a portrait of the real person than a screen on which fans project their own fantasies about him.

At The Nation, Stuart Klawans rightly identified Arthur, not Brian, as the film’s protagonist. But he also wondered why he grows up to be such an unhappy adult. “Why is Haynes so tough on Arthur?” Klawans wanted to know. “Why, through the character, is he so tough on himself? It’s apparent everywhere in Velvet Goldmine that Haynes, like Arthur, loves Glitter Rock. He, too, fell for a mass-marketed product, which was no more likely than Mr. Clean to carry out a world-transforming promise. But instead of honoring the truth of his enthusiasm, so that he might look back on its object with a smile and a sigh…Haynes does penance for being a sap.”

Others found the film’s collage of ideas and allusions cumbersome. “Velvet Goldmine is weighed down with self-important messages, but it’s also splashily opulent,” Stephanie Zacharek wrote at Salon. “It’s as if Todd Haynes had plunged his hand into a pile of clothes at a jumble sale and come out with a handful that was half velvet finery, half polyester rejectables.”

All of these reactions make sense, coming from adult critics who had probably seen the film just once, after reading months’ worth of reports about its troubled birth, in the sterile environment of a press screening. But what’s clear from a distance of nearly two decades, during which Velvet Goldmine has become a low-key cult classic, is that few films are so poorly suited to be judged on the basis of a single dispassionate viewing. If you’re looking for tight plotting and complex characters, you’re not going to find them in this mixtape of music videos, aphorisms, and waking dream sequences. There is no actual murder mystery, and Arthur’s investigation into Slade’s disappearance isn’t a source of suspense so much as an excuse to keep contrasting an incandescent past with a dull, gray present.

I’m lucky enough to have first encountered Velvet Goldmine under what turned out to be ideal circumstances: at age 15, on premium cable, late enough at night that it easily bypassed my rational mind en route to my adolescent subconscious. I had no idea how many details it cribbed from the biographies of Bowie and his contemporaries, or how much of the dialogue was quoted from their (and their heroes’) most memorable utterances. I bought the soundtrack without realizing that it put ‘70s originals side-by-side with contemporary covers and new songs by younger bands like Pulp and Shudder to Think in yet another glam pastiche. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to find the 1984 scenes unsatisfying because I got so instantly immersed in the ‘70s spectacles that they barely existed for me.

Not that the film only works on an emotional level. Haynes’ ideas about fandom, politics, sexuality, and identity become even more profound once you can see the organizing principle behind what might initially seem like a jumble of indulgent images. Like the death hoax Brian Slade uses to escape a fantasy life that’s grown too real for comfort, Velvet Goldmine’s loose plot is classic misdirection, obscuring a tight and purposeful structure that delays the resolution of the ‘80s storyline until it’s primed you to feel the loss of the liberated ‘70s viscerally. But you’ll never get that far into dissecting the film if you don’t fall in love with it at first viewing. And that’s easiest to do when you’re as impressionable as young Arthur, who watches Brian Slade flaunt his queerness in a televised press conference and imagines himself shouting to his parents, “That is me!”

Revisit it as you grow older, though, and you might discover that the disillusioned 30-something characters now feel as rich as their idealistic former selves. Velvet Goldmine is often called a gay film, but that obscures the universal resonance of its queer coming-of-age narrative. Better to think of it as a bisexual film that uses non-binary sexuality as a metaphor for the boundless possibilities of youth—the promise of a future constrained only by the limits of one’s own ambitions and appetites. Its characters can’t achieve permanent liberation by “coming out”; to maintain lifestyles that match their desires, they would have to reject the monogamy that defines adulthood for most people. Particularly amid the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, which haunts the film’s dreary present on a purely subtextual level, it’s obvious why they (like the real glam rockers they’re modeled after) retreat from the liberated lives they staked out for themselves.

But you don’t need to buy in to the incendiary claim Brian makes at his press conference, that everyone is bisexual, to see how this storyline reflects the many kinds of disappointments that await most starry-eyed fans in adulthood. Klawans’ objection to Haynes’ treatment of Arthur feels naive because it assumes people should be able to peacefully coexist with their shattered dreams. Why shouldn’t he feel bitter about having joined a sexual revolution that didn’t, finally, set him free? “It gets better” for Arthur when he leaves his homophobic family to move in with a latter-day glam act in London, but sometime after he hooks up with an unmoored Curt Wild at a tribute concert called the Death of Glitter, “it” just gets boring as the world gets worse.

And the world really does sometimes get worse, though audiences in the relatively peaceful, prosperous late ‘90s might have forgotten about that. Watching Velvet Goldmine for perhaps the 25th time, two weeks before Donald Trump’s inauguration, at the end of an era that has brought unprecedented freedom of sexual and gender expression, I was struck by how vividly Haynes captures a culture’s flight from progress, and how rare it is to see that kind of transition depicted on film. His argument about fluidity turns out to be even more potent when applied to societies than individuals (or, at least, it seems that way in 2017). Our capacity for transformation may be infinite, but that doesn’t mean those changes are always for the best.

#todd haynes #velvet goldmine #ewan mcgregor #christian bale #jonathan rhys meyers #toni collette #michael feast #citizen kane #produced and abandoned #David Bowie #lou reed #oscar wilde #killer films #christine vachon #Musings #Oscilloscope Laboratories

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mrmichaelchadler · 6 years

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Thumbnails 8/28/18

Thumbnails is a roundup of brief excerpts to introduce you to articles from other websites that we found interesting and exciting. We provide links to the original sources for you to read in their entirety.—Chaz Ebert

"Miranda Harcourt on 'The Changeover' and Whānau Values in New Zealand": At Indie Outlook, I interview the acclaimed actress and acting coach about her terrific new feature that she directed with her husband, Stuart McKenzie. We also discuss her ingenious coaching techniques, clients such as Melanie Lynskey and Nicole Kidman, and her daughter, "Leave No Trace" star Thomasin Harcourt McKenzie.

“I was coaching a few actors via Skype for the role that Thomasin ended up playing in ‘Consent,’ and she was reading a book while listening to our session. After I hung up, Thomasin said in her little voice, ‘I’d like to audition for that role,’ and I went, ‘What? But you hate acting.’ She replied, ‘No, it sounds like a really great story to tell,’ so we did a little read-through of the script right here, exactly where I am sitting right now. I was like, ‘Oh my god, you are amazing.’ It was a great performance, and when she went in for the audition, she got the role. The film was directed by Robert Sarkies, who also made another great New Zealand movie, ‘Out of the Blue.’ Even now, I don’t think Thomasin has seen all of ‘Consent,’ because she wasn’t even allowed to see the bits that she was in. She’s only in the first 17 minutes, but it’s a very intense journey. It took a lot of courage for her to portray a girl who is raped. Francis Biggs, one of my students I taught at Toi Whakaari: New Zealand Drama School, portrayed the rapist with whom Thomasin had to play that scene in ‘Consent.’ We’re both really grateful to Francis because he and Thomasin did ‘hug to connect’ before they played that scene. It enabled Francis and Thomasin to play quite an intense rape scene together so that they are in the flow of telling that story together. They weren’t in opposition, which would’ve been very psychologically damaging, not only to Thomasin, who was 13 at the time, but also to poor old Francis, because it was not a happy job for him. I’ve got a collection of great photographs chronicling the interactions that Thomasin and Francis had in order to build that relationship over a couple of weeks while preparing for the scene. Over the couple of weeks after they did that scene, Thomasin would consistently check in with him and say, ‘Hey Francis! I’m really proud of the work we did together, and I hope you feel good about it too. Just remember—it’s only acting!’”

"Call it a Comeback: The Inside Story of Elvis Presley's Iconic 1968 Special": As remembered by our contributor Donald Liebenson at Vanity Fair.

“Elvis looms large in the singer’s legend. The live-wire special is featured prominently in two 2018 documentaries, Eugene Jarecki’s ‘The King’ (now in theaters) and Thom Zimny’s ‘The Searcher’ (on HBO). It capped a decade in which Elvis could mostly be seen only in the movies, and, increasingly, not very good movies at that. Taped in June and broadcast on December 3, 1968, it was his first television appearance since 1960, when he guest-starred on ‘Frank Sinatra’s Welcome Home Party for Elvis.’ At the time, he hadn’t performed in front of a live audience in seven years. But Presley and Binder’s creative team delivered. [Steve] Binder, a self-professed ‘West Coast guy into surf music,’ finished the special feeling in awe of Presley. ‘For me, the ‘68 special is seeing a man re-discover himself,’ Binder said. ‘I saw it on his face and in his body language as we progressed.’ Susan Doll, author of Elvis for Dummies, agreed. ‘I think it’s the peak of his career,’ she said. Col. Tom Parker, Presley’s infamously controlling manager, had promised NBC a one-hour special if the network financed Presley’s next film—‘Change of Habit,’ Presley’s screen swan song, released in 1969. He never told Presley about the deal, with good reason: ‘Elvis didn’t want to do television,’ Binder said. ‘He felt he had been burned by it.’ Even Steve Allen, the talk-show host hip enough to give Lenny Bruce a shot on prime time, forced cheese on Presley, putting him in a tuxedo to sing ‘Hound Dog’ to an actual hound dog.”

"'It Was No Gang, It Was One Guy, And He Wasn't Really a Killer': Producer and Star Edward James Olmos on 'The Ballad of Gregorio Cortez": In conversation with Jim Hemphill of Filmmaker Magazine.

“When Bob [Young] agreed to do the picture and rewrite the screenplay from scratch, he and I went to the real locations where it all happened. We went to Gonzales, Texas, where they captured and imprisoned Gregorio Cortez, and we found the exact prison. We found his cell. The jail and the courthouse were exactly how they were in 1901, it gave us an authenticity unlike anything I had ever experienced before in film. We had to talk the district court judge in Gonzales into letting us use the courthouse, and when he asked us what kind of movie we were doing, Bob kept speaking in general terms of how important our subject was to Mexican-American people and to the Latino culture, but he wouldn’t say the name because at that time no one knew who Gregorio Cortez was. The judge kept asking, ‘What’s his name?’ and finally Bob says, ‘His name is Gregorio Cortez, but he’s a really important—‘ and this guy says, ‘Stop, stop. I’ve been waiting for you guys for 35 years.’ He opens his filing cabinets, and in these cabinets is every single piece of testimony and every single newspaper article from around the country related to the trial. This judge was the foremost authority on the case in the world, bar none. He felt it was one of the most important cases in U.S. history because it was the first time a Latino had been tried in an American court of law, and with an interpreter, which was unheard of in 1901. This guy had filing cabinets filled with material, because the case was followed all over the country – it involved something like 600 Texas Rangers in hot pursuit of what they thought was a Mexican gang of killers. And it was no gang, it was one guy, and he wasn’t really a killer – it was self-defense. Anyway, discovering all that material was just unbelievable. It was magical. And it allowed us to make what the United States Historical Society claimed to be the most authentic Western ever made in American film, ever.”

"John McCain, War Hero, Senator, Presidential Contender, Dies at 81": Robert D. McFadden of The New York Times reflects on the honorable legacy of the late politician.

“In a 2018 memoir, ‘The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes, Great Fights and Other Appreciations,’ he defended Ms. Palin’s campaign performance, but expressed regret that he had not instead chosen Senator Joseph I. Lieberman, a Democrat-turned-independent. At some McCain rallies, vitriolic crowds disparaged black people and Muslims, and when a woman said she did not trust Mr. Obama because ‘he’s an Arab,’ Mr. McCain, in one of the most lauded moments of his campaign, replied: ‘No, ma’am. He’s a decent family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues.’ Analysts later said that Mr. Obama had engineered a nearly perfect campaign. And Mr. McCain confronted a hostile political environment for Republicans, who were dragged down by President George W. Bush’s dismal approval ratings amid the economic crisis and an unpopular war in Iraq. On Election Day, Mr. McCain lost most of the battleground states and some that were traditionally Republican. Mr. Obama won with 53 percent of the popular vote to Mr. McCain’s 46 percent, and 365 Electoral College votes to Mr. McCain’s 173. ‘Few of us have been tested the way John once was, or required to show the kind of courage that he did,’ Mr. Obama said Saturday. ‘But all of us can aspire to the courage to put the greater good above our own. At John’s best, he showed us what that means.’”

"Inside Patricia Clarkson's brutal 'Sharp Objects' performance: 'It's dark and nasty and twisted and beautiful'": The actress chats with The Washington Post's Jessica M. Goldstein about her role in HBO's excellent miniseries.

“In Wind Gap, poison is poured down the throats of unsuspecting children. Baby teeth are pried from little girls’ gums, and skin is sliced until it scars. Yet the most transgressive act of violence in town is the low, almost-whispered delivery of four small words. Over a drink, by candlelight, a mother tells her daughter: ‘I never loved you.’ There’s no shortage of cruelty in ‘Sharp Objects,’ the eight-part HBO miniseries based on Gillian Flynn’s 2006 debut novel, whose women pass trauma from generation to generation like a haunted heirloom. But no one cuts quite like Adora, played by Patricia Clarkson. She’s a matriarch [...] who coolly tells her wayward eldest daughter, Camille (Amy Adams), that she feels nothing for her, save for disappointment and disgust. Clarkson, the 58-year-old New Orleanian actress who sees glimmers of her own grandmother in the best parts of Adora, knows these scenes appear brutal. ‘But I think why they have the impact they do is that I don’t think Adora ever thinks of them as brutal,’ she said by phone from her apartment in New York. ‘I think that was what was essential. When I tell her I never loved her, I think it’s just Adora feeling connected to her for a moment to be as honest as she can be. … Sometimes she was just openly cruel. But other times, I think, when she speaks, she’s actually revealing the truth.’ ‘This is the most violent line in the series,’ said director Jean-Marc Vallée. ‘It’s not something you say to your child. … You just destroyed her! And she’s not realizing that. Or maybe she does, and she’s that cruel, that evil. But we’re not sure. And that’s what’s great about the character: that you try to understand, and you’re not sure.’”

Image of the Day

Robert Redford and Jane Fonda starred in "Barefoot in the Park," the 1967 screen adaptation of the 1963 play, one of four works by the late Neil Simon selected by Vox's Aja Romano to illustrate why he was one of America's greatest playwrights.

Video of the Day

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Stella McCartney's profile of David Lynch is a stirring ode to the role intuition plays in one's creative process. Look for cameos by "Moonlight"'s Ashton Sanders and "American Honey"'s Sasha Lane.

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theforgottengn · 7 years

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A Passionless Affair

Characters: Uniform, Unnamed Informant, India, Delta, Zulu

Word Count: 2,567 (not entirely sure if this is right btw)

Trigger Warning: Swearing. Mention of blood. Mention of sex.

Summary: First off here’s hoping that this posts this time around. If not I give up. Anyway. One-shot I’ve been wanting to do for a while just to get into Uniform's head space. Or to try to at least. Basically Uniform's narcissistic ideas finally come to life when an informant falls for him. Only problem with that is she thinks the two of them are getting married.

I awake at precisely 0300 hours like I always do. Being on a mission never changes my daily routine so no matter where I am I stick to my schedule. And one of the many benefits of a cell phone, besides the fact that having one makes it easier to blend in, is the alarm clock. Since it’s always set for the same time of day I always wake before the sun rises.

Today makes no difference.

Waking far earlier than the green-eyed, olive-skinned, brunette who still sleeps face down on the queen-sized bed in the hotel room. I don’t even look at her as I pull the covers off and quietly get out of the bed. I stretch for a minute or two before falling to the floor. That is when I begin my morning exercises with push-ups.

Counting aloud as I always do.

When the count hits 200 I turn into the sit-up position. At the same time I hear a quiet, mouse-like, groan. I can tell by the noise that the woman on the bed is waking but she isn’t important to me any longer. I don’t even remember her name not that it matters anymore. My job finally finished last night after three, long and arduous, months. I got what I needed and she was none the wiser.

I continue to ignore her and work through my routine.

“Good morning, handsome. You ready to talk now?” the woman coos in accented English as she moves to the edge of the bed. The creak of the cheaply made bed frames makes me grit my teeth in annoyance. I regret not putting in headphones and listening to music. Now I have no reason for ignoring the woman and her small talk but I continue to do so as I get up from the floor and begin lateral lunges.

“Hey,” she says as she throws a pillow at my face minutes later. I don’t even have to move to dodge her pathetic excuse for a throw. “Are you even listening to me?” she asks with a girlish pout.

No. I am not.

I turn to her with a confused look; “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because, you’re acting like you’re hiding something. I know everything about you, babe, don’t you think I can tell when you’re holding back?”

You do not know a thing about me, lady.

She sits on the edge of the bed and wraps her arms around my shoulders. Nuzzling her face into the side of neck she breathes in deep; inhaling my nasty after workout smell.

“We’ve known each other for such a long time it makes no sense to not talk about it. You can’t avoid marriage forever, and besides, don’t you love me?” she punctuates her question with a kiss of which I’m forced to return.

I face her and shrug; quickly flashing one of my million-dollar, heart-melting, smiles. “Sorry babe, but, I need to shower. Can we talk about this later?”

I don’t let the brunette answer before I enter the bathroom and lock the door. Once alone I shudder at all of this fake lovey-dovey bullshit. It means absolutely nothing to me. I turn the shower on full blast but don’t get in. Instead I put my comm. in my ear and make a call to India. As I wait for her to pick up I admire my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

“Our intel was right,” I say once India answers on the other end.

“She confirmed our suspicions about the ambassador. He’s definitely going to make a move on the PM and it’s going to be very soon.”

She probably didn’t tell you how; they never do. Did she say when this was happening? Or where?

I curse under my breath when I realize I completely forgot to find out that information and hope India didn’t hear the obscenity I let slip. With everything else I’d been occupied with for the last three months it completely slipped my mind. I rub a hand over my face; utterly humiliated with myself.

“I don’t have that information, India.”

India sighs and I can imagine the face she’s making on the other end. A face I’ve seen about twenty total times in my life; counting right now. Each one for the very few times I messed up and she got mad. To be fair some of those times weren’t even my fault.

I deserve for India to be mad at me this time. This is all on me.

Just get it, and make a clean break with her, ok?

“Don’t I always?”

Before India can pull one of her classic moves and silently sign off I pull back. I have to tell her even if I don’t want to admit it.

“I can’t do it,” I confess.

What do you mean?

“Make a clean break. I can’t do it this time, Indy. There’s no way.”

Ok, you never call me Indy unless you’ve epically screwed up. Un? What did you do?

I run a hand through my hair and think of the best way to explain this. Realizing there is no best way I just blurt it out: “She’s in love with me!”

The informant? she snorts.

“No. My insanely hot, imaginary, biker girlfriend who goes to college and lives in Canada. What am I a pubescent teenage boy? Of course the informant!”

She’s in love with you?

“Didn’t I say that already?”

You? In love with you? I mean you say this almost all the time, about every person you’ve been with, Un. But this one’s real. She’s really in love with you? Like, for real?

“Yes! She’s in love with me, but, that’s not all. She wants us to get married.”

Now that’s a game changer.

“What do I do, Indy? Tell me what to do.” I say desperately.

But my plea is met with complete comm. silence from her end. I wait a few minutes but India doesn’t come back. Cursing myself I regret not calling Delta instead. I let out a frustrated scream and punch the mirror; breaking the glass and cutting my hand.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

A light knock on the bathroom door is followed by a call from the wannabe bride; “Everything okay in there?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Completely unsure of what to do I quickly grab a washcloth and hop into the shower. Holding cloth against my bleeding hand I stand under the water for a few short seconds then shut it off. Calmly, and as quickly as I can, I clean the glass from the cuts on my hand. Then I grab two more towels from the rack; another washcloth and a bath sheet. First I wrap the bath sheet around my waist. And then I wrap the washcloth around my hand; tightly. I take a deep breath, unlock the bathroom door, and open it.

“Oh my God!” she exclaims upon seeing my wrapped hand.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine. ... I, uh, slipped in the shower,” I say as calmly as possible.

“We should get something to eat. I’m starving. You? I’ll just change real quick and then we can go to that coffee shop you’re always talking about. Sounds good? Great.”

I rapid-fire as I rush out of the bathroom, grab some clothes from the closet, and dash back into the bathroom.

“Baby! You don’t have to do that,” she calls. “We’re going to be married soon and besides I’ve already seen...”

I mentally block her out as I change; I need to figure out a plan of attack for breaking it off with her. There is no easy way to do this and besides this woman is as crazy as they come. She’s dead set on believing that we’re getting married even though I’ve agreed to nothing of the sort. I dont want her to do anything reckless and psychotic when I end this. Ending this as quickly as possible is the best thing for the both of us.

I never had any feelings for her but I will admit I will miss one thing. The intimacy.

Fully clothed I take a look at myself in the mirror; stunning as always. As I began to style my hair I call out and ask her if she’s ready. She says that she needs a few more minutes and then calls me some other stupid pet name girls call their boyfriends. Not that I am her boyfriend or ever was. I’m thankful for the extra time and use it to figure out how to tell her the truth. Well, the parts I can tell her.

How do you explain that to someone? Where do you even begin?

“Oh, by the way, I never had any feelings for you. None. Even the sex we had was meaningless. I just liked the way your body felt against mine.”

Unsure of what to do, I start to pace from the worry, when a sudden call comes through my ear comm. And sure enough it’s the one person I should’ve called from the beginning. The sound of her bright, soothing voice calms me down almost instantly. She rehashes the gist of what I told India then takes a slight pause.

So, Un, what can I do to help?

“I don’t know Delta. This informant, she's... well, bat-shit insane is putting it lightly. Most people go for dinner and a movie for their first date. My usual go-to is either a bar or a wine-tasting event. But neither was good enough for her. On our first date she forced me to go with her to spray graffiti all over her old boss’ house. Besides all that this woman has known a fake version of me for only three months and she’s ready to marry him.”

Delta sighs and I can imagine her twirling strands of her blonde hair on her finger like she always does when she’s thinking. I hear the sound of air intake as Delta tries to begin her bit of advice, but, she’s cut off by a very loud and annoyed sigh.

“Zulu?”

Of course. If you’re looking for advice, Un, you’ve come to right place.

“I did not ask you, Zulu. You eavesdropped on us and then squeezed in like you always do!”

I can see her shrug as she says: Just doing my job. But in all seriousness, Un, you remember what I love to call you?

“A glorified spy-whore?”

Exactly! So, do what you do best and, whore your hot little ass around for a couple days. You’ll break her heart; she’ll cry and break it off, probably be emotionally scarred for life and, never love anyone ever again. You know, what you normally do.

Zulu! Not helping! Delta exclaims; almost shouting my ear off.

Un, don’t listen to her, okay?

“Like I was going to.”

Do what you do best. Lie through your teeth.

I end the call and exit the bathroom. I don’t even look at the woman as I grab my coat and leave the room. Once outside I call for a taxi and continue to ignore her. She tries to make some small talk about something but it falls on deaf ears. The brunette angrily crosses her arms and loudly huffs. I know she’s doing it to get my attention so I say nothing. When the black taxi pulls up I climb inside first instead of holding the door open for her.

We spend the entire cab ride to the coffee shop in utter silence; much to the annoyance of our driver.

Upon arriving at the coffee shop I allow the, now very angry, brunette to exit the taxi before I do. I pay the fee and thank the driver in his native tongue for putting up with us. He laughs and replies with some snide comment about his own wife. I fake a laugh and thank the man again before exiting the taxi. When I exit the taxi I see the woman waiting impatiently at the door to the coffee shop.

I offer my arm but she does not take it.

We walk inside the coffee shop together and sit at a table nearest to the door. I stand as she sits down and scan the rest of the coffee shop. Lucky for us the place is pretty much empty which is great just in case this crazy woman decides to cause a scene.

I sit down and say nothing but I can feel the woman’s eyes on me as I look at the menu. I’m not even reading the menu but instead gauging her reaction to the cold shoulder I’ve been giving her. She’s obviously not pleased and seems to be verging on angry again. I don’t want that because who knows what she might do.

I reach across the table and grab her hand. She looks at our intertwined hands then up at me. Her bold green eyes meet mine.

“I thought about what you said, Natalie, and if you’re making an official proposal then I say yes.”

“Oh my God! Really? I... Wait. Who’s Natalie?”

The happiness in her eyes quickly changes to pure fury. She tosses my hand away and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Heather. I meant Heather.”

“Who. Is. Heather?”

I pretend to be confused and act like I didn’t say some other woman’s name. The green-eyed brunette across from me is not buying into my act. She thinks she sees right through me. Throwing her hand up in the air she begins to accuse me of not knowing her name; which is entirely true because I don’t know her name.

“Are you cheating on me, Richard Patrick Stephens?”

So that’s what my fake name was!

She barely ever called me by my fake name these past three months, mostly calling me baby and other pet names like that, so I had completely forgotten what it was. Taking the small moment to smile at my own stupidity of forgetting my fake identity I laughed. She thought I was laughing at her and she did not take that response well.

“You think this is funny?”

“I do, because you’re right. I am cheating on you. And I have been cheating on you ever since we started dating. But, I’m not cheating anymore. I love you.I promise I’ll never do it again. I swear on my mother’s grave I’m not that person anymore. You’ve changed me, Amanda.”

“My name’s Sofia, you fucking asshole!”

With that she tosses her glass of water in my face and storms out of the coffee shop. When she was fully out of sight I also left. As I walked down the street I called India on the comm. link to tell her the good news. Then I remembered I never got the rest of the information I needed since I was too distracted with the marriage proposal. I quickly ended the call before India could pick up.

Exhaling deeply I was far beyond relived I escaped a forced, and entirely loveless, marriage. Finally ridding myself of the psychotic woman I was forced to spend three months with was the greatest feeling in the world. And even though my stupidity might have cost us this mission I do not care at all.

Only thing left to do is cut her out of all the pictures of us.

#here's a thing #if it ever actually posts #the forgotten #story snippet #one-shot #india company #agent uniform #agent india #agent delta #agent zulu #induni #delform #zuni #that induni dialogue seems more fitting for zuni now that i re-read it #oh well #live and learn i guess

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Carly & Ali

Carly: heard from drew? Carly: long shot Ali: Ha, good one Carls Ali: God no Ali: he's AWOL? Carly: yea Carly: gimme calebs number? Carly: longer shot Ali: 'Course but doubt they're chillin' Ali: and he might act like saying his name invokes him to pop up like a demon but you know Ali: Have you spoken to Meena? Surely he's keeping her in the loop Carly: shes not picking up Carly: to me Carly: same as my mum and dad Ali: That's not like her, she's probably just busy, keep trying Ali: As for your 'rents, where have they gone? And why do you need Drew so urgent? Gah, sorry, so many questions Ali: Just go with this one, are you okay? Carly: ive been trying ages Carly: shes not on spanish time idk why she cant answer Carly: idk wot to do Carly: how do i get it to stop ?? Ali: Spain's only an hour ahead of us anyway, not an excuse Ali: I'm 8 hours ahead and I've managed Ali: get what to stop babe Carly: the crying Carly: i cant think Carly: its all it does Ali: You've had the baby Ali: how long ago? did you go to the hospital? you need to if you haven't, like now Carly: what Carly: why would i go there Carly: its over with Ali: Because you both need to be checked over Ali: its really important Ali: have you birthed the placenta? Is it all out? If not you could die Ali: Never mind if there's anything wrong with the baby Ali: Call a cab and give me your deets, I'll transfer the money now Carly: that alien shit Carly: yea Carly: it screams healthy Ali: that is a good sign but there could be something you're missing, maybe that's why its screaming? better safe than sorry, they're not allowed to ask you about shit unrelated, so if you're high, sober up and then go, yeah? Ali: When did you last do a feed? Have you been able to? They'll show you how, it can be tricky Carly: id scream if i was born here Carly: gonna be stuck Carly: sober up? i need more Carly: shit hurts dont need to tell you Ali: They'll give you stuff at the Hospital Ali: why do you think anyone goes? Ali: and fo free baby gurl! please Carly: i cant Carly: gotta be hear for when my mum rings back Carly: & drew might come Ali: Give me your mums number and I'll tell her where you are Ali: then she can ring the hospital and they'll let you know Ali: I bet Drew has a key, no? Ali: Leave a note Carly: he left it when he went Carly: threw it at me Ali: Oh bab Ali: I'm sorry Ali: but you gotta focus on you Ali: and the baby now Ali: Not him, he knows where you are Ali: I can text him if you want, or try to call Ali: I swear nothing bad will come out of it Carly: but its his Carly: and i am Carly: he should be here Ali: But he isn't Ali: maybe he'll come back but you gotta keep going 'til he does, alright? Carly: i need to find him Ali: Not right now Ali: next step Ali: he's not lost, he doesn't want to be found Ali: i know that's harsh but its the truth Ali: he'll come back when he's ready, alright? Carly: what about me Carly: im not ready Carly: he doesnt care Carly: why should i Ali: he cares about himself Ali: AT LEAST do that Ali: if you can't the baby then the people at the hospital will help with that too Ali: you can't just leave it Ali: boy or girl? Carly: its a girl Carly: another one Carly: hes gonna be mad Ali: I don't think he's salty about not having a male heir babe Ali: If you really won't go...I'll do my best to tell you what I know and I'll send you links Ali: we'll do our best health check and then you've got to try to feed her, yeah? Is that okay? Carly: mad that shes here Carly: i said i wasnt having one Carly: you want me to read? cant hear myself think Ali: But you were Ali: and if you were doing it without protection then he was fully aware it was a possibility Ali: I'll voice memo you then Ali: it'll stop the crying Carly: he says its not his Carly: maybe not Carly: idk Carly: its got blood on it but could look like him when thats gone Ali: He said that to me when it definitely was so kind of his go to Ali: but even if it isn't, doesn't mean he has to be a dick to you about it Ali: Its not right regardless Ali: Especially not when you're alone Carly: how do i make it sleep Carly: im tired Carly: should i sing? Ali: That might help yeah Ali: Skin to skin to, that's comforting Ali: Lemme break down how you feed it, yeah? Hold on Carly: i cant pick it up what if i drop it fuck no Carly: gotta stay where it is Ali: You won't Ali: its your baby, its safer with you than it is on the floor Ali: get a towel, that'll keep it warm and put it to your chest Ali: [Sends 38 sec video] okay, if that's easier this vid shows you how but I'm here to talk you through Carly: all the towels are wet Carly: it can have my tshirt thats warm Ali: Good idea, see Ali: you know what you're doing Ali: you've got this Carly: its too small Carly: i have to put it back down Carly: ill hurt it Carly: fuming about me coming near it Ali: She's just hungry and confused Ali: Understandable, right? Dunno about you but I'd be pretty fucked off too if I'd just been pushed out my nice comfy home of the last 9 months Ali: You'll be her best friend in my time at all Carly: id put it back if i could Carly: whyd you wanna do this 3 times Ali: 'Cos I'm a bossy bitch and I want underlings to do my bidding and I get to tell 'em what to do Ali: speaking of, time for your masterclass Ali: get her and get comfy on the sofa or your bed or wherever is bed Ali: best Carly: k Carly: shes heavy wtf Ali: That's good! You did a good job cooking her then Ali: and if she's a lil chunk, this should be easier Carly: shes small but im sleepy Ali: you can both take a snooze when this is done, usually conks 'em right out Ali: is your tiddy out? Carly: knew you fancied me Ali: you know Ali: getting in there while your defenses are down Carly: im single Carly: you too Ali: Lets do it mama Ali: cutest fam ever? i think so Carly: shes not cute like yours Carly: weird coloured thing Ali: she's probably covered in the gunk and pink from screaming her head off Ali: no ones finest hour i bet she's beautiful Carly: ill get it to take a selfie Ali: yay! get it on the nip 'cos i gotta see my boo too 😍 Ali: line her nose up with your nip, kinda tickle her top lip with it, she should open her mouth wide Ali: then you can shove it in Carly: done that before Carly: weird Carly: [Sends pic of tiny baby Indie] Carly: does she look like him idk Ali: Definitely Ali: Looks a bit like Edie Carly: ill send him the pic Carly: probs should take a better one Carly: how do i look? Ali: Like you've just given birth Ali: so a goddess Ali: but a knackered one Carly: youve got a fetish Carly: cant trust that Ali: me??? Ali: didn't impregnate myself Ali: look at Caleb! Carly: and drew Carly: wont see him Ali: Clearly its his thing too Ali: but he's more about the before than after yeah Ali: he can't stay away forever Ali: he wouldn't leave Meena Carly: youre smart Carly: if i go there he cant avoid me Ali: Exactly Ali: Camp out Ali: Ana will help you with the baby shit if you like Carly: why Carly: she doesnt know me Ali: Because she's a good person Ali: plus she's a social worker, it what she do Ali: and she knows Drew better than most, she raised him Ali: worth a shot Carly: shes not his mum Carly: but she can take this kid Ali: yeah she's better than Ali: is that what you want? Ali: she'll discuss it with you, make sure you both get what's best Carly: im not talking to her Carly: she can take it or not Ali: No one will just take her with no questions asked Carls Ali: for your welfare and the kids Carly: im not answering a social workers questions Ali: They're not entitled to judge you Ali: She won't Ali: and as far as drugs are concerned, if you want to give the baby up then literally none of their business at all after that Ali: and if you did decide to keep her then they work with you Ali: they're not gonna just shop you, it ain't like that Carly: make me go to rehab is how its like Carly: fuck no Ali: They can't make you Ali: there's no point Ali: you can only get sober if that's what you want Carly: my mum and dad'll make me Carly: i know theyre gonna Ali: well, where the fuck are they now? Ali: if they're so concerned about you they'd be here Ali: actually supporting you Carly: theyll come when they find out about her Carly: i never told them Ali: Good, I hope they do Ali: but how did that happen Ali: how could I see and they didn't Ali: or Drew Carly: they dont come back Carly: drew did see thats why he left Ali: yeah but they must talk to you Ali: your mum has obviously been there how did she not clock something being up Ali: and not soon enough in Drew's case Carly: i call them if i need money Carly: they gotta think its why im calling now Ali: When do they call you? Carly: if i call and they didnt pick up Carly: unless theyre busy Ali: I see Ali: how's she doing? done feeding? Carly: sleeping Carly: how are yours? Ali: best feeling ever, right? Ali: much the same, its late here Ali: I'm pulling an all-nighter lowkey, finishing up some work Carly: i miss junie Carly: whatever your on for it gimme some Ali: i'd be creepy and snap him sleeping but no doubt the flash would wake his highness Ali: he misses you too, i'll get him to facetime Carly: aw Carly: go work bitch Carly: i shouldnt kept you this long Ali: don't be daft Ali: queen of multitasking Ali: and not just junie who misses you is it Ali: #massiveLESBIANcrush Carly: my tits are gonna go down Carly: snap me up now Ali: Trying, like Ali: make it facebook official Ali: that'll get the lads attention ey Ali: why else do it Carly: yea Carly: my parents too probs Carly: lapsed catholics Ali: be on the next plane over to get you back on the dick like Ali: i'll get on it #longdistancelesbians Ali: my ex gonna be so mad Carly: mine too Carly: wtf am i gonna do Carly: I dont want him to be an ex Ali: even though he's fucked you over like this? Carly: i fucked him over first Carly: i lied Ali: not really Ali: if anything, you lied to yourself Ali: but you didn't wanna hear it, couldn't Ali: and that makes sense Carly: cant block it out any more Carly: fuck Ali: it gets really real really fast Ali: doesn't it Ali: but you have got this Ali: i've got you, however i can, yeah? Carly: i dont want it to be Carly: i dont want it Carly: i cant do this Ali: okay, that's okay too Ali: but she isn't going to just go Ali: whether it was getting an abortion earlier or what you have to do now Ali: you have to do something Ali: there's no quick fix for it Ali: ana can get you in touch with the right people who will make it as easy as they can for you and her Ali: or my mum Carly: if i leave her she'll get found Carly: why does nobody ever call me back wtf Ali: Yeah but they'll still try to find you Ali: or Drew Ali: and his DNA will be on the system so Ali: and I reckon if they got to him, he'd sell you out Ali: when's the last time you slept? Carly: idk Carly: what day is it Ali: Tuesday Carly: sunday Carly: saturday Carly: idk Ali: fuck girl Ali: you shoulda been banking up on it before Carly: ha Carly: easy fix Carly: need my dealer Ali: not if your gonna be breastfeeding Ali: unless he gonna bring formula too Carly: i can go myself for that Carly: get a car Ali: you getting enough cash in, yeah? Carly: ha no Carly: no student loans for this bitch Ali: you'll have to look into getting help with that Ali: there's funds and shit, i'll find out the info Ali: that or tap Drew up for child maintenance Carly: yea cos hes declaring his earnings Carly: i wish hed talk to me Ali: exactly, bribe him like Ali: he's got a lot to lose Carly: hed never forgive me Carly: i cant Ali: but you can forgive him for all he does? Ali: got it bad honey Carly: yea Carly: its fucked Ali: is there anything he could do to make you stop loving him Carly: idk Carly: why Ali: cos you'd be happier if you didn't Ali: right Ali: like, he treats you like shit Carly: i wasnt happy before Carly: & he hasnt this whole time Carly: it got bad Carly: me too Ali: but you could be Ali: you don't have to give up hope of ever being Ali: and he did for the majority of the time though, that should outweigh the good Carly: with what Carly: this kid Carly: im not you Ali: no Ali: of being happy Ali: with just you Ali: or someone else who treats you better Carly: i dont have a job or friends here and i live in a caravan Carly: not gonna happen Ali: you can get both Ali: you're cool Carly: ha Carly: youre dreaming Carly: fucked the allnighter Ali: i'm not the only one Ali: and why not? Carly: drew says im a junkie Ali: what does he know Ali: and anyway, functioning junkie Ali: shits possible Carly: he knows me Carly: he loved me til i fucked it Ali: you haven't DONE anything Ali: a baby happened to you BOTH Ali: you're both reacting, right or wrong now, whatever Ali: and he probably still does but Ali: love ain't always enough Carly: why are you my friend? Ali: I said, you're cool Ali: funny, smart, nice, you already know i fancy you so no need to kiss arse any more, yeah? Ali: you're SO friendable, babe Carly: shoulda fallen for you Ali: yeah well, the tragedy of being straight and feelings not following logic Ali: sometimes, you gotta fuck feelings tho, do right by yourself Carly: i dont feel anything when he isnt here Carly: nothing happens Carly: cept today Ali: make stuff happen Ali: its only chaos darling Carly: youre not here either Carly: what am i gonna make happen on my own Carly: this shit Carly: idk Ali: what do you wanna make happen Ali: anything, however unlikely you think it is Carly: i want him to come back Carly: my parents too Carly: but none of them are Ali: can't control other people nah but you can do all YOU can to make it happen Ali: what would make him come back? who would he wanna be with? and you can try to talk to your 'rents and tell them what is up...longshot but maybe they don't realise how shitty they're being Carly: they're not Carly: theyre busy Carly: and im not a kid Ali: busy with what? Ali: living it up in spain? Ali: they kept you, you're their kid for life Ali: they don't get to peace at 16, 18 whatever the fuck Carly: they didnt vanish Carly: i know where they are Ali: yeah but they should be here rn Ali: you need them Ali: maybe if you ask, when they answer, they will come back Ali: i'm not slagging on 'em, its just facts Carly: i dont want to go live in spain Carly: fact is theyll try and force me Ali: well, they can't make ya, tell them why you wanna stay here Ali: they could still be supportive Ali: even if they're not physically with you every day like Carly: they wont let me stay for him Ali: okay...make something more parent friendly up then Ali: what they don't know won't hurt 'em Carly: youre so smart Ali: so i've been told Ali: with varying levels of sarcasm Carly: yea Carly: same Ali: You are though Ali: One of the many reasons we get along Carly: youre such a mum Carly: bigging me up like Ali: s'what i do best right Ali: shoulda been a cheerleader, fucking irish schools not letting me shine Carly: thats what schools do best Carly: be shit Ali: true dat Ali: even if my uni is pretty swish Ali: and full of nerds like me Carly: looks it Ali: still, miss the homeland like Carly: switch places Carly: shes crying again what does she want this time Carly: headfuck Ali: think its a bit too early for her to have shat, maybe wee but Ali: probably wanting her next feed Ali: you do it roughly every 2 hours for the first month Carly: ffs Carly: howd you get anything done with 3 of them Ali: ask myself the same question Ali: luckily they're not all on the tit 'cos form an orderly queue lads Carly: not getting my tit out again Ali: its that or formula run to get her to stop crying Carly: i cant put her in the car Carly: she'd fall out Ali: that solves that then honey Ali: get 'em out get 'em out get 'em out Carly: perv Ali: 🤷 Ali: single mum, gotta get my kicks where i can yo Carly: get fucked Carly: not offering Carly: one of the nerds would be up for it Ali: no need to tell me Ali: desperation station Ali: bless 'em Carly: do you go to class with your shoulders and knees out Ali: its boiling here, not even trying to be a shameless hussy Ali: can't be swooning erryday, got places to be, shitty bums to wipe Carly: yea Carly: cant steal that excuse myself Ali: sadly not Ali: can use breastfeeding though Ali: you're just out here feeding ya kid, looking hot as a by-product, fight me world Carly: don't Carly: how is this happening Carly: im looking at her and idk Ali: i can't believe you did it all by yourself Ali: you're a right tough nut Ali: but you don't have to keep doing it alone Carly: but i have to do something Carly: wtf Ali: yeah, keep both of yas alive until you figure out your next step Carly: make it sound simple Ali: 'course Ali: i'll allow you some melodrama but i can't claim hormones as hard Carly: u can Carly: and homesickness Ali: alright, lets have a good sob Carly: this kids done enough Carly: has you beat bitch Ali: rude Ali: already winning fresh out the womb Carly: what you naming it Carly: said you would Ali: you're serious? Carly: idc Ali: probs think on that a bit longer, whether you wanna name her or nah Ali: but my lists be ready don't fret Carly: k

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